#that’s letting me pursue my passions as much as I’m able to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

matts-k1tten · 2 months

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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

summary: Matt and y/n were best friends in high school, after graduation life got in the way and they forgot about each other and their feelings for years. But what happens when they finally see each other again?

contains: swearing, heavy smutttt (like yall voted on), fluff, don’t like it, don’t read it.

*not proofread*

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ᵍʳᵃᵈᵘᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵈᵃʸ

Today’s the day, after this day I’m free from school.

I really won’t miss anyone or anything here. I was always what everyone considered me as, a nerd. Since I always got along with the teachers and always had straight A’s.

But they all agreed on one thing about me, that I was gorgeous. But no one ever went for me because they all thought I was weird.

Not Matt, he loved my weirdness. In fact, he was just like me. He was smart and funny and we got along well. I always had feelings for him. His brothers Nick and Chris were amazing too.

But Matt and I always had a different relationship.

He wasn’t the best looking, but that doesn’t matter because I always go for personality.

So here we are now, graduating school.

“I’m so proud of you Matt, of us. We did it Matt! We survived high school!” I shout as I jump on him.

Matt laughs as he hugs me back, squeezing me with all his strength.

Out grips slowly start to soften which reminds me that I won’t be able to see his bright smile everyday, to hear his laugh that sounded like music to my ears.

“Matt?” I whisper softly in his ear with a broken voice.

“Yeah?” He whispers back.

I pull back and look up at him. “Promise you’ll stay in touch?”

He smiles softly.

“Promise y/n, I’m not going anywhere.” He finishes and hesitates for a moment before he leans in and kisses me.

The kiss was so passionate and sweet I melted in his arms.

I felt like I was in a dream.

I paused briefly for a moment before kissing him back with all the love I have for him. Kissing him made everything around us disappear it truely felt like it was only me and Matt in the room.

His arms sneak around my waist as mine go around his neck. Feeling Matt smile against my lips made my insides churn.

He pulls me impossibly closer as our lips mold together.

I pull back and smile up at him, he smiles back. We stare at each other for a while, enjoying each others presence.

“y/n we have to go celebrate! C’mon let’s go!” My mother shouts from behind me. I look back before dropping my hands from matt’s face slowly.

“I have to go Matt, I’ll call you later. We can hang out tomorrow!” I say as I hold his face and kiss his cheek.

He nods and we both let go.

If only he knew how much I really loved him with all my heart and soul.

³ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ

I lay on my bed with my roommate also best friend next to me. After graduation, I moved in with Amelia one of my close friends in high school.

We moved to LA right after graduation to get a fresh start and pursue our youtube career.

We got to busy starting our own youtube channel that we could barely manage to visit home.

We’ve gained so much subscribers and got so much love that I’m so thankful for.

I’m scrolling through TikTok when something pops up.

A video of these boys named the “Sturniolo Triplets”.

The last name “Sturniolo” sounded familiar, I just can’t remember.

I go to the comments and they’re filled with comments on comments about how funny they are.

My face scrunches with confusion before I tap Amelia on her shoulder.

“Hey do you know who these ‘Sturniolo Triplets’ guys are?”

She looks at my screen, thinks for a moment then shakes her head. “Never heard of them before.”

I kiss my teeth and search them up on youtube. Their channel immediately pops up with their most popular videos.

I click on one and examine them. They were good looking. Great face shape, perfect teeth, fluffy hair, cute smiles, and good humor.

Looking at their videos seemed useless, I could find better things to do than this.

This is a waste of my time.

I click out and put on some music. “C’mon Amelia, we have to get ready for this influencer party!” I shout as a song starts playing. She groans before she sits up with a light tug on her arm.

“Fine! Just let me pick out a dress!” Amelia says with an attitude.

I don’t reply feeding into her attitude. Amelia always has an attitude and I learned how to deal with it because if I’m gonna live with her I have to get used to her.

Amelia stomps off to her room to pick out a dress as I start to dig in my closet.

I found this perfect black silky short dress that really compliments my figure. “Perfect!” I shout to myself.

“Y/n! Should I wear a silky royal blue dress or a silky white dress!” Amelia shouts from down the hall.

“I’m wearing a silky black dress you should wear the whole one to match with me pair it with black heels, I’ll wear white heels!” I yell back.

“That’s a great idea!” Amelia says excitedly and slams her door to change.

I change into my outfit and put on my white heels. I use this black pocket purse to hold my lipgloss, phone, and whatever I need.

I run into the bathroom to do my makeup and Amelia walks in right after me. I take one sink and Amelia takes the other.

Amelia pulls up to the huge venue to where the party is at and parks far from the entrance.

“Why’d you have to park so far? We’re gonna get drunk and forget where the car is!” I turn my body to her.

She unbuckles and looks at me with a blank face.

“Not us, you. I’m staying sober tonight I don’t wanna wake up with the worst hangover ever because we have to film tomorrow and I don’t want to have the worst headache while filming.” Amelia says sternly and hops out the car.

I groan and roll my eyes before quickly running up behind her. “Who do you think we’re gonna meet? Oh my god! What if we meet Vinnie Hacker!? Or Baylee Levine, Sam and Colby! Ohh! I hope Colby falls in love with me, he’s so sexy. And oh! Tara Yummy! Oh my god I love Tara Yummy she’s literally my wife! What if we meet Jake-“ Amelia cuts off my rant by stopping us mid walk.

“Shush! Yes! There is a chance we’d meet them but just wait till we get in!” Amelia says now annoyed with my random rant and storms off to the entrance. “Sheesh someone’s got an attitude.” I mumble under my breathe and walk a few inches behind her.

We make it to the entrance and get checked in and are immediately greeted bye loud music and the smell of alcohol mixed with cologne.

I drag Amelia to the bar and I order myself a vodka cranberry. “Are you seriously not gonna drink tonight?” I ask as the bartender slides my drink over to me and smiles.

I smile back and turn back to Amelia.

“Like I told you, we’re filming tomorrow! You can get drunk but I’m not!” Amelia snaps back and opens her phone. “Suit yourself.” I reply as I take a sip and look to the dance floor.

I look around and see many familiar faces of influencers whom I’ve seen around social media.

Someone catches my attention by walking towards Amelia and my direction only to figure out it’s Tara fucking Yummy.

“Hey! I’m such a huge fan of you guys! I just wanted to come over here and tell you guys how much I love and and also ask if I could get a picture. sorry if I’m fan girling!” Tara giggles a bit.

Tara yummy? A fan of, us? I looked stunned for a moment before I snap out of my daze and reply.

“Yes of course! It’s totally fine we love you so much I was actually talking about meeting you before this!” I laugh.

Tara laughs as well as she takes out her phone and snap a picture with us.

“Also before we came in she was talking about how you’re her wife.” Amelia says with a small grin on her face. I smile and shake my head covering my face out of embarrassment.

Tara just laughs at my reaction.

“It’s ok babes, you are my wife. But I also wanted to ask if we could collaborate sometime?” Tara smiles at me. My face lights up as I look at Amelia.

Amelia smiles and nods. “We’d love to collaborate with you!”

“Great! Just give me your numbers and I’ll next you whenever!” Tara replies with the cutest smile.

She hands us her phone and we put our numbers in. We hand it back and she yells a quick thank you and walks away.

I slowly turn to Amelia with a cheeky smile on my face still smiling from the interaction. “Tara yummy is a fan of us and wants to collab!” I scream and hold Amelia’s hands.

Amelia smiles and laughs.

“We should go dance!” I yell over the music. “Yes!” Amelia replies and drags me out. Amelia and I start jumping around and screaming with the music.

I stop for a moment to catch my breathe and meet a pair of frozen blue eyes.

Still looked so familiar, I just couldn’t remember.

He was staring right at me as I examined his features. Brunette fluffy hair, defined face shape, slight beard, tall, and wearing all black with keys hanging from his pants.

My jaw slightly drops. He was fine.

He seems to be checking me out pretty well by the way his eyes keep going up and down my body. He was just standing there with a solo cup in his hands and bites down on his lip as his eyes trail all around my body.

His eyes suddenly meet mine and chills surge through my body. His stare was so intense.

He looked at me through his hooded eyes. I couldn’t look away and neither did he. It was only then when Amelia taps me. “What are you looking at?” I break eye contact with the stranger and look back at Amelia. “Nothing, let’s just go sit down my feet hurt.” I smile slightly as she nods.

We go back to the bar stools and take a seat. We start talking and laughing and after a while I look around my eyes finding the boy again. But this time he’s on the dance floor with a smile and he’s holding a girl, a beautiful girl.

It kind of hurt, seeing him there with another girl.

I didn’t even know why it hurt.

Watching them sway to the music her hips gliding against his with his hands around her waist. I wore a slight frown and turn back to Amelia with my head down looking at my lap. She notices the change of mood.

“What happened?” Amelia questions. My head snaps up at her. “I-I don’t know, nothing.” I respond and look back at the dance floor. But the girl wasn’t there anymore, she was replaced with two other boys who look identical to the boy. My eyebrows furrow as I glare at them.

The same boy that was staring at me earlier turns his head in my direction and meets my gaze. I sit there frozen staring at him once again. The two other boys continue to dance as he just stands there moving his body a bit, staring at me.

“Are you sure nothings wrong? you keep zoning out.” Amelia says from beside me which makes me break the eye contact.

I nod. “Yeah.” I reply and turn my whole body back to the bar. There was a slight tap on my left shoulder.

I jump a bit and turn to who tapped me. I met the same pair of blue eyes as he stared down at me with a cold stare.

“Hey, I just came over here to say hello and say you look awfully familiar.” The guy speaks. I just smile and open my mouth to speak when he cutes me off.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve introduced myself first. I’m Matt, Matthew Sturniolo.” He speaks again.

My eyes widen as my face lights up.

“Oh shit! Matt? Oh my god! I-it’s been so long! Sorry, it’s me, Y/n! From high school!” I shout and hop off my chair suddenly shrinking as I get off my chair.

His face turns as he smiles brightly at me. “Oh my god! Y/n! I didn’t even recognize you! How are you?!” He asks as he goes in for a hug. “I’ve been great! I started my own channel and it was successful! How about you!” I reply as I accept the hug and stay there for a moment then pull away.

He holds me by the waist as my arms are still around his neck. “Same! Me, Nick, and Chris also started a channel and got a lot of love!” He shouts over the music. I smile as my eyes trail around his face now that he was up close.

I could still see the same nerdy Matt from high school. Just different.

My eyes look to his lips, they were plump and pink. They looked so soft.

Since he was closer, I could really see his defined face shape. His cheekbones and jaw line.

I move my hand to touch his face my fingers following his cheekbones and down to his cheek to rest my palm there.

He just smiles and melts at my touch. He looks in my eyes as his pushes his face further in my hand.

“Let’s go somewhere more quiet and catch up, yeah?” Matt says breaking me from the trance he put me in. I nod as I turn to Amelia who was to distracted by her phone to notice Matt. I tell her I’ll be back and walk off with Matt. He brings me outside to the parking lot and to his car.

“I thought we could talk out here since it was a little muggy and hot in there.” He smiles down at me.

I smile up at him and nod. He leans against the car door as I do the same beside him. “You look….different.” I break the silence. He looks over at me. “In a good way or…” Matt asks.

“Yes! Of course! You look amazing, Matt!” I say as I turn my whole body towards him. He just laughs at my reaction. “Thanks, you look great too.” He smiles softly to which I return.

Matt inhales roughly before speaking.

“You know, in high school I had a huge crush on you. So much that I would write about you everyday.” Matt confessed. I chuckle and look down at our feet.

It was nice to be in his presence again.

“I had a huge crush on you too, you knew that, right?” I look back up at him. “I’m pretty sure I figured out by that kiss we shared at graduation.” He smiles. I feel my face flush as I look away. I totally forgot about that.

“Y’know, my feelings for you never changed after all these years. I always wanted you and only you, it broke my heart when you left without a word.” Matt says the energy changing from happy to sad. “I guess we’re confessing now, huh?” I look at him. He just stares at me blankly. I inhale.

“Well, my feelings for you always will forever remain the same even if we are a 6 hour plane ride away from each other or a 15 minute car ride. I’ll always choose you no matter what.” I can’t help but smile after my confession staring in his eyes.

Matt stares at me in awe before he leans in and presses his lips to mine.

I get that same feeling again, the one I had at graduation. I’m taken a back a moment before I lean to kiss him back wrapping my arms around his neck. He sneaks his arms around my waist and continues to kiss me.

We’re in the same position, 3 years later.

The longer we kiss, the more intimate it gets. Matt grips my ass and hips as he pulls my whole body against his. He was way taller than me which made it harder to kiss him.

I had to get on my toes and he had to bend down to kiss me. But it didn’t matter, all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine again.

Matt pins me against the car door and presses his whole body on mine assuring I can’t escape. Matt slides his tongue on my bottom lip asking for permission which I quickly granted.

Our tongues fight for dominance but Matt wins and his tongue explores my mouth.

I put one of my hands on his cheek as the other stays around his neck pulling him impossibly closer.

We both pull away for air and I look down at his lips which are red and plump from our previous actions. Matt yanks me off the car door and opens it then throws me inside. Matt wastes no time in crawling right on top of me and slams the door and smashing his lips back on mine. This time the kiss was more aggressive and needy.

I couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as his hands go everywhere around my body.

Matt pulls away to take off his shirt and goes right back in. His hands trail down to my thighs which are revealed because of my dress. Matt pulls away again and swiftly pulls my dress over my head leaving me in only panties and a bra. Matt examines my body for a moment.

“I always knew I chose you for a reason.” He says lowly and kisses me again as he plays with my breasts. Matt’s hands go under me as I arch my back to take off my bra. Matt unclasps my bra and tosses it to the front as his lips trail down my chest and to my nipple.

My hands are tangled in his hair as he nibbles and licks it repeatedly.

After a while, he switches to the other breast and gives it the same attention. His actions only make my noises grow louder.

Matt trails his lips down further to my stomach, lower abdomen, and to the band of my panties. He looks up at me for permission and I quickly nod to impatient to speak. He slowly pulls down my panties to tease me.

“M-matt, please.” I whine. “Be patient.” He growls. “Let me look at you.”

He then takes off my panties and throws it to where my bra landed leaving me completely revealed for him. Matt licks his lips his teeth showing as he did.

Matt blows cold air on me which makes me shudder and let out a quiet moan.

Matt starts kissing down my thighs getting closer and closer but switching to the other thigh every time he was face to face with it. “Matt!” I yell and groan frustrated by him.

Matt chuckles lowly which sends shivers down my spine. “So needy.” Is all he says as he buries his face in my pussy.

I moan loudly at the sudden impact as he works on my clit sucking aggressively. I whimper uncontrollably as Matt works on me.

Just then, Matt’s phone starts to ring.

Matt grabs it without detaching his tongue from me just looking up at his phone as he has it above me.

Matt hands his phone to me. “Y-you want me to answer?” I say as I look at the contact is to notice that it was Chris. “Mhmmph.” Matt hums against me which sends vibrations through my body.

I press answer and put it on speaker. “Matt where the fuck are you? you wondered off like 20 minutes ago and never came back. Nick and I are getting tired and wanna go home.” Chris says angrily.

“H-hey Chris-“ I say trying to make it sound like his brothers face wasn’t buried in between my legs. “Who is this? wait. y/n? I thought I recognized your voice! why do you have Matt’s phone?” I was about to respond when Matt flattens his tongue and moves his head side to side aggressively.

My back arches as my mouth falls open silent moans leaving it.

“Umm. hello?”

“ye-ah?”

“why do you have Matt’s phone?”

“mmph”

“hello?”

“Matt and I-I! came outside to talk and he went to use the bathroom r-really q-quick and left his phone-ah!” I cover my mouth and smack Matt’s head as he laughs against me.

“Are you okay? what happened?” Chris asks. “Nothing! I’m fine! I-just-uh- hit my finger.” I say in a hushed voice.

“o-kay?-“ Chris is cut off my Matt’s muffled laughter his mouth still attached to me. “Was that Matt? Put him on!” Chris shouts. Matt snatches the phone and hangs up.

Matt drops the phone on the floor and continues. “You taste amazing.” Matt says pulling away for a split second.

My hands go back to his hair as Matt sucks my bud and wraps his hands around my thighs. My eyes roll back as my back arches farther.

Matt inserts one finger, the move taking me by surprise which makes me let out a pornagraphic moan. He starts pumping in and out slowly as his mouth still worked on me.

He inserts another finger and goes faster. I’m a moaning mess as he curls his fingers expertly hitting my g-spot. My moans grow impossibly louder the more he hits that spot.

I feel a knot start to form in my stomach as Matt continues his motions in a faster paste. The knot grows in my lower abdomen and I start clenching around Matt’s fingers.

His fingers were long and slim which made it a perfect fit. I unintentionally start to slightly grind on his face as he moves faster.

He hits that spot again, again, again, again.

The knot grows stronger as Matt looks at me through hooded eyes. My hands stay tangled in his hair.

“I-I’m close.”

“Come on my face, give it to me.”

With his words, I feel myself start to release all over his face with a loud moan.

Matt helps me through my high but doesn’t stop there. He keeps on going even more stronger and aggressive. I couldn’t take it, it was too much.

I try to push him off but he grabs my hands and holds them in a ball. “I’ll stop when I want to, you taste to good.” Matt speaks lowly. I moan uncontrollably as Matt continues his actions.

“M-matt! please! s-stop! I’m sensitive!” I scream and squirm.

“Just a little longer.”

I practically scream with the loud moan I let out. That familiar knot builds in my stomach again. I grow louder as he continues to suck and shake his head. Without saying a word, I come on his face again.

Matt licks up all my liquids and comes up to my face wiping his cheeks with the back of his hands.

“Wasn’t to bad, huh?” Matt says as he kisses me making me tastes myself. I kiss him back as Matt unbuckles his pants and slides down his boxers. We both pull away as I look down at him.

My jaw falls slack. His tip is an angry red leaking with precum.

Matt laughs as he grabs the base and strokes himself a few times. “Tell me if you want me to stop, I will.” Matt says quietly and starts to push himself in stretching my walls.

I bite my lip to muffle my moans as my hands go around to Matt’s back my nails digging into his skin. I whimper once he’s completely in, he pauses to let me adjust.

“Y-you can move now.” I say.

As the words left my mouth, Matt starts to thrust at an ungodly paste making the whole car shake and creak. Little grunts leave Matt’s mouth as loud moans and whimpers leave mine. My nails dig deeper into Matt’s skin as Matt continues to pound me.

“Look at you, taking me so well.” Matt says in my ear. I just look in his eyes with my mouth open.

Just when I thought he couldn’t go faster, he started to move at an inhumane speed. Matt was fucking me so well I couldn’t think straight. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he moved.

“Look at me or I’ll stop.” Matt says.

My eyes snap back to his fighting not to squeeze them closed. Matt goes so deep that he hits my cervix which makes me go crazy.

I’m screaming so loud I’m pretty sure anyone around us could’ve heard us. “I love hearing your pretty little noises.” Matt speaks again. The knot starts to build up again, but this time more stronger and vivid, and satisfying.

I start to clench around Matt as he grips my breast with one of his hands watching them bounce with every movement.

“I can feel you clenching, c’mon. Come all over me baby.” Matt teases and smiles.

Matt reaches his hands down to rub my clit which only makes my nails dig deeper in his back leaving deep red scratches, some even bleeding.

I feel Matt’s dick start to twitch in me as I start to release. I feel myself squirting all over Matt and his lower stomach.

Matt follows soon after me burying his load deep inside me. Matt collapsed on me his head buried in the crook of my neck. We both breathe heavily as I hug Matt close. “I swear to god I can’t feel my legs.” I say in between breathes. Matt laughs at my statement and gets up to reach for his clothes and mine. It’s only then I see his back and what I did to him.

“Oh shit, Matt. I fucked up your back.” I say and breathe out a laugh. “Fucked it up? No baby, you made it a piece of artwork.” Matt says as he pulls up his pants and boxers and leans in to kiss my forehead. Matt reaches in the console for a napkin to wipe my legs and his stomach and our sweat.

He reaches over to grab my dress and bra stuffing my panties in his pocket.

“You alright?” Matt asks as he slides on his shirt. “Besides not being able to walk properly, yeah I’m fine.” I say and pull on my dress.

Matt laughs and pulls me close to kiss me.

“So what now?” I ask.

“Let me take you on a date.” Matt replies.

I giggle as Matt pulls me in again and kisses me passionately this time.

“When I first saw you, I always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.” Matt smiles softly.

I smile as well.

“I always felt the same, I guess it was love at first sight.” I chuckle. So does Matt.

The door suddenly opens and we’re met with Nick’s angry and tired face. “What the fuck! There you are! Y/n? What? I’m so confused?!” Nick screams. Chris comes up behind him and sees us.

Chris doesn’t even seemed shocked. “So this is why you were acting weird on the phone?” Chris says blankly as Matt and I burst into laughter.

“I’ll let you to settle this, c’mon Chris.” Nick tugs Chris and they walk away.

“Y’ know I really love you, a lot, right?” Matt says.

I nod. “Yeah, but I love you more.” I smile. Matt smiles and presses his lips to mine. I guess it really was love at first sight.

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a/n: hey guys!!!!!! this is long asf ik. but i hope u guys like it tell me what you think!

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jessejaredstories · 6 months

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Type Casting

“C’mon, let’s just give it one more go!”

“I don’t want to…”

Robert was slumped against the wall with his head in between his knees. His friend Aidan was looking down at him. Aidan let out a heavy sigh, then bent down to meet Rob at eye level.

“Listen man, I’m trying to help you out here but you’re making it really difficult.” Aidan tried to make eye contact with Rob, but he turned the other way. “What was that thing you used to say? The best actors can turn themselves into anyone they want? What happened to that energy?”

“Let’s be honest, I was just lying to myself. Even I didn’t believe that bullshit.” Rob said muffled through his hands. He then let himself fall over onto the ground, much to Aidan’s growing annoyance. While Rob was laying on the asphalt, he looked up to the sky above. The dark of night had just settled in and the first few stars had just come out.

Ever since he was a kid, Robert dreamed of being a big time Hollywood actor. He always imagined himself up on the silver screen whenever he went to the movies. Although Rob had spent most of his childhood and adolescence performing for local theater groups, he unfortunately never made it into the big leagues. He had all but given up on his childhood dream and settled for a life working in retail.

However, just as Rob was getting comfortable living an ordinary life, everything changed one fateful day when an acting agent walked into the store. The agent was in desperate need of an actor for an upcoming commercial shoot after the previous guy dropped last minute. Rob just so happened to be on the clock that day. They had a conversation, one thing led to another and next thing you knew, Rob got the part. It was a minor acting gig with only two lines, but it was enough to reignite the passion Rob had for acting. So much so that he decided to quit his day job and pursue acting full time.

But unfortunately for Rob, his good luck started as well as ended on that fateful day. He hasn’t been able to land another acting job despite having gone on numerous auditions. While Rob was already on the verge of giving up again, his best friend Aidan was still holding out hope for him.

“Bro, c’mon, they’re looking for a Filipino dude and you’re the only one auditioning. How could they not cast you?” Aidan said.

“It’s really not that simple… I can’t just be type casted into a role because of my race. They’re looking for a gym bro kinda guy, and I’ve seen cats with more upper body muscle than me. I don’t even look the part, much less act it. It’s hopeless!” Rob sighed and rolled over. They both lingered in silence for a minute.

“You know, maybe we should just call it a night. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep,” Aidan said.

“I doubt it, not unless I can somehow become a gym bro overnight.”

“Stranger things have happened, you know…”

Rob was expecting Aidan to dismiss what he just said, not go along with it. He was only kidding after all! But Rob decided not to think twice about it and just laugh it off.

Robert went to bed that night restless and miserable. Normally he had no problem falling asleep, but for some reason, he just couldn’t sleep that night. Rob was eventually able to fall asleep after enough twisting and turning, but he was plagued by strange dreams. He kept dreaming about some muscular guy entering his bedroom while he slept. The dream was extremely lifelike, Rob felt he could reach out and get a feel of the dude’s jacked bicep!

Rob tried to touch him, but when he reached out, he found himself awake in his bed. Rob blinked and rubbed his eyes as he looked around his empty room. It was just a dream, nothing more and nothing less. Rob nodded off again. As he slept peacefully, the same muscle bro came back in his dreams, albeit in a very different way the second time around.

In the dream, Rob was still just laying down sleeping in his bed. He tried moving his body, but couldn’t. His body was in a deep sleep, and all Rob could do was watch himself sleep.

At first, the dream was nothing more than him sleeping. After a couple of minutes passed, the muscular man made a reappearance. He crept back into Rob’s bedroom, except he was fully naked this time! Rob was caught off guard, but quickly found himself enjoying the view. The man was clean shaven all over his body except for three places: his thick mustache, his hairy pits, and his unruly bush of pubic hair. Rob loved the glorious sight of masculine, well-kept yet hairy man standing in his bedroom. He knew intuitively that the man’s name was Jacob. He watched as Jacob approached him on the bed. He also noticed that the dream version of himself had woken up and had begun stripping down naked. Jacob then hopped on the bed with him, placing himself in between Dream Rob’s open legs. Jacob was stroking himself while Dream Rob was feeling around his well-toned torso. He cupped one of Jacob’s pecs and felt how firm the slabs of meat on his chest were. Jacob had a cocky grin on his face as Rob worshiped him. He then bounced his pecs for Rob, which made him whimper from pleasure.

Even though it was a dream, everything Rob was feeling felt just like real life. He could feel Jacob rubbing his hardening cock against his own dick, which made him get erect too. Rob felt Jacob’s thick bush brush up against the underside of his thighs as he thrusted his hips into him while jerking off. Soft, sensual moans escaped Rob’s lips, matching Jacob’s gruff, baritone groans. Once they were both at full mast, Jacob moved onto the next step of their little “play session.”

Jacob moved up closer to Rob. He grabbed his rock hard cock and positioned it right next to Rob’s. Rob was stunned at how hung Jacob was. He had both length and girth to his junk, and with a big, pink tip too! Jacob then put their dicks together in one hand and jerked them both off. Rob let out a loud moan as Jacob pumped away at both of their cocks. Jacob’s hand had a rough feel to it, most likely due to calluses from working out. Rob also noticed how warm his hand was, which added to the warm pleasure Rob was feeling as Jacob jerked them off. It was the best feeling Rob had felt in a long while.

Precum soon began leaking from the tips of their cocks. Jacob noticed his leakage and shuffled away slightly to reposition himself. Rob was purring with anticipation. He was expecting him to put it in, but instead he got something he could’ve never guessed. Rob started stroking himself off at a rapid pace and with bated breath. Rob assumed he was about to finish, but that guess was wrong too. Instead, Jacob’s cock started growing even longer and wider. Jacob then closed the gap between them again. He hovered his cock over Rob’s junk and lowered it. Jacob’s cock then engulfed Rob’s entire dick and balls area. Rob winced. He felt a pinch when he got swallowed up by Jacob’s engorged member. Jacob’s dick was throbbing. The vein running from the base to the tip was pulsating. Rob could feel Jacob twitching due to their dicks being conjoined. Only a few more seconds before Jacob let out a primal moan from deep within. Rob had no idea what was happening, but unfortunately had no time to react.

“Ahhh… Ah!? Arghh FUCKK!!” Rob moaned. He could feel the warmth of Jacob shooting out ropes of cum. However, because his cock was inside of Jacob’s, his loads had nowhere to go except inside of Rob’s dick. Rob was squirming as he felt all of Jacob’s spunk rush through the slit of his cockhead and down the length of his member. Jacob kept shooting out load after load and all of it was getting pumped straight into Rob’s balls. Rob’s cock and balls grew thicker and heavier as a result of getting filled up. He had become hung like a horse, sporting a cool 7 inch cock with some hefty girth to match its length too. Jacob’s seed had overwhelmed Rob’s reproductive system, forcing it to produce Jacob’s DNA rather than Rob’s. All of the testosterone filled cum Jacob had pumped into Rob began transforming the lower half of his body.

The body transformation was as pleasurable as it was intense. Waves of ecstasy-like warmth spread throughout Rob’s legs and thighs as they grew exponentially bigger, forcing Rob to throw his head and moan as it all happened. The lower half of his body essentially exploded with mass. Once they finished growing, Rob’s body immediately shaped the extra mass into chiseled, muscular legs that looked just like Jacob’s.

Rob felt like his body was on fire after the explosive growth his legs went through! He was huffing and puffing for breath after that bodily experience. Rob was thankful that no more cum was getting pumped into him. It seemed like Jacob had finally been drained of every last drop. However, although his balls might’ve run dry, Jacob knew of another way to keep the transformation fun going.

Jacob let Rob’s dick wiggle out of his own. Once they were detached, his engorged cock shrunk back down to its usual size. Jacob then positioned Rob to sit up against the headboard of his bed. He then hopped on top of him, placing him in between his beefy legs. Rob was now at eye level with Jacob’s massive chest.

Rob salivated being so close to Jacob’s beefy pecs. He reached out and grabbed his left nipple with thumb and forefinger. He felt the few hairs surrounding the nipple tickling against his fingers as he gave him a light squeeze, causing Jacob to groan with delight. Rob then leaned in and planted his lips against Jacob’s succulent nipple. Rob could taste the salt of a few sweat drops as he used his tongue to flick his nipple around in his mouth. The thought of suckling a man’s juicy pecs made Rob get hard again, encouraging him to give Jacob the best service his mouth could offer.

Jacob was breathing heavily as Rob sucked off his sensitive nipples. He began running his fingers through Rob’s hair while Rob went to work. While they were both having the time of their lives, this only lasted a few minutes before Jacob decided to switch things up again. He grabbed hold of Rob’s head and pressed him against his pec. Rob didn’t think twice about Jacob’s sudden dominance; he simply assumed he wanted him to suck even harder. He proceeded to suck and lick and bite as pleasurably as he could. Meanwhile, Jacob was using his free hand to rub down his pectoral muscles. He started squeezing at the top of his chest and ran his hand down to the nipple, stimulating his pecs until they started lactating.

“Mmmm… Mmmrrngh? Mmmmm…!!”

Rob noticed there was a sudden new taste in his mouth. However, it was a sweet, slightly milky taste that he quickly grew addicted to. It didn’t deter him from sucking Jacob’s chest, it only encouraged him to go even harder. Rob drank it all like a starving kitten while Jacob was in a world of heaven due to the combined sensations of lactating and having a man’s warm mouth sucking down on his nipple.

Rob struggled to swallow all the milk. Some of it leaked out and ran down Rob’s mouth, causing an even wetter mess than before, but Rob kept at it. Jacob’s pec milk was the key to the second half of the transformation. The more of the sweet, sweet pec milk Rob drank, the stronger he was becoming. His torso began swelling up with muscle mass just like his legs did. His arms grew until he had two cannons with melon-sized biceps. His shoulders and back grew wider and chiseled. His pecs ballooned out but stayed firm with muscle, giving him a set of man tits that would put anyone to shame with their voluptuous size. By the time Jacob’s chest had finally run dry, Rob had been completely transformed into a beefy bodybuilder just like him.

Rob leaned back from Jacob’s now swollen chest and swallowed the last few drops of milk he managed to suckle out. Once he swallowed, he let out a satisfied exhale and a loud burp. He then looked at Jacob with pleading eyes, the same eyes you would see on any submissive bottom eager to please. Jacob looked down to match Rob’s gaze, then grinned. He leaned down and gave Rob a big, fat kiss on the lips. Rob kissed him back too. He then opened his mouth slightly to let Jacob stick his tongue inside his mouth. Their tongues danced together in Rob’s mouth with Jacob’s tongue taking the dominant role. They then locked lips together for one last triumphant tongue kiss. Once Jacob pulled away, Rob noticed some course hair touching his upper lip. He reached out to touch his lip and with one stroke of the finger, he realized what had happened. Jacob had bestowed upon him the finishing touch of his transformation- his thick mustache befitting of a muscle daddy like the new him.

Robert woke up in an incredibly great mood the next morning. He laid in bed with a wide smile on his face as he fondly replayed the weird yet awesome wet dream he had last night. Although he would always have the memory, he hoped the dreamy muscle man would visit him again sometime in the future.

Rob noticed his body felt heavier as he laid in bed. He took a look down at himself, then smirked. It was the kind of cocky smirk any guy with a great body would have. He was hot and he knew it!

He jumped out of bed with glee and ran to the nearest mirror to check himself out. Surely enough, his reflection in the mirror matched the same beefy cupcake his own eyes showed him. Rob almost couldn’t believe he had actually transformed overnight. He had so many questions running through his mind, but standing in front of the mirror, all he could think about was how hot his new body had become.

“Fuck yeah! I’m ripped as fuckk!!”

While Rob was busy admiring his new self in the mirror, someone had been knocking on the door. Rob didn’t even notice someone was knocking. As a result, their knocks had evolved to them pounding on the door. The pounding was enough to finally get Rob’s attention. Annoyed, Rob pulled himself away from the mirror and hurried to the door. He opened it to an equally annoyed Aidan waiting on the other side.

“Where the fuck have you- Woah.” Aidan stepped into Rob’s apartment ready to chew him out but stopped after taking one look at the new him. He almost didn’t recognize him due to his new muscular physique. He had to look closely at his face just to recognize him. “Rob? Is that you!? Holy shit!!”

“I know right! Check me out bro, you like my new look?” Rob flexed his bicep for Aidan while he hyped him up. Though Aidan was happy for his friend, he remembered the reason why he came by in the first place.

“I don’t know how the fuck you managed to go super saiyan on me overnight, but we don’t have time for this right now. Your audition’s in an hour and it’s all the way across town!”

“Oh fuck!! I completely forgot about that, let’s GO!”

Rob quickly threw some clothes on and ran out the door with Aidan by his side. They barreled down the highways at dangerously high speeds, driving as fast as Rob’s car could manage. They were able to make it to the rec center where auditions were being held just in the nick of time. Rob ran into the waiting lobby just as the producer called out his name.

“Alright bro… You got this… Break… A leg!” Aidan said in between huffs, fighting to catch his breath after sprinting from the parking lot. Rob nodded and followed the producer into the backroom.

“Welcome, Robert, please feel free to take a minute to catch your breath. I know you had to run to get here on time, what happened?” the producer asked as she took a seat next to the director.

“Nothing, just traffic. You know how it gets in this city,” Rob responded.

“I see. Well then, feel free to start whenever you’re ready.”

“Actually, before I start, is it alright if I do a little improv? I have the sides down but I wanted to add my own little flair to the scene.”

“Do as you must, just be sure to show us your best performance.” The director answered with a bored inflection in her voice.

Rob nodded, then proceeded to perform the sides for the audition. He had the sides perfectly memorized, and he followed the script’s exact punctuation down to the comma too. Rob didn’t stray far from the script for the most part, but for his rendition of the scene, he decided to take out his shirt and play the character as an aloof himbo rather than just an arrogant jock.

Once he finished performing, Rob looked up to see their faces. The producer looked irritated, while the director still had the same poker face she had when Rob first entered the room.

“Well! Thank you for your time, Robert, we’ll let you know if-”

“No need,” the director waved her hand to stop the producer. “After seeing over 20 auditions today, I can say with confidence that you’re the best fit for the role. Congratulations Robert, you got the part.”

Rob was bursting with joy. He shook the director’s hand with an over enthusiastic vigor and a wide grin on his face. He then walked out to share the great news with Aidan, who was just as excited as he was. He had done it; he had landed a role in a major Hollywood production as the main character’s meathead yet lovable brother.

Epilogue

Several months have passed since Rob finished filming his last major role. His newly acquired looks granted him the confidence he needed to perform at his best. Coupled with his eagerness and passion for acting, Rob had become the total package, and other big names in the film industry agreed too. Word had gotten out on how Rob was set to become a rising star. A couple of directors had even scouted him for their upcoming projects! All in all, Rob was enjoying the new life he was only just starting to build up for himself as an actor.

However, there was one slight problem. Rob and Aidan’s friendship had taken a turn for the worse lately. While Aidan was happy for his buddy’s success and Rob was more than happy to share some of the Hollywood glamor with his best friend, the two had begun bickering a lot.

It started back when Rob first transformed into the beefy bodybuilder he was now. Rob was slowly becoming more and more arrogant ever since then. Aidan didn’t notice at first, but it was becoming more obvious with every passing day. Every other sentence Rob said had the word “bro” shoved into it. That, and if it didn’t involve his acting career, going to the gym, partying, or fucking hot dudes, then Rob simply had no time or patience for it. Even Aidan, his best friend since primary school, had been shoved into the sidelines! Rob had become the epitome of a selfish, gym rat narcissistic.

But Aidan was never the type to simply roll over and give up. He would sooner die than let his best friend go without a fight. So he decided to try and get the old Rob back, much to his dismay.

Rob was in the middle of getting ready to go out clubbing with his other actor friends. While getting dressed, he decided to take a moment to admire himself in the mirror. He made sure to keep up with the maintenance a hot, muscular body like his needed in order to be maintained. He was proud of his physique, and it was then he decided he was gonna find another hot guy to fuck all night long. It had been too long since he last got off after all, his balls were already hanging low with how full they were! All he needed was someone to drain him of his load.

As Rob was recording a new thirst trap to send out on dating apps, he got an incoming video call from Aidan. Rob grunted and declined the call. Annoyed, he threw his phone off to the side. But just as he was about to resume getting ready when he felt something strange in his chest. He looked down and bounced his pecs again. Rob noticed that it took him more effort than usual to flex his pectoral muscles. He grabbed one of his pecs, gave it a squeeze and when he did, he felt like something was about to leak out of his nipple. Something… Like milk.

Aidan called again. Rob turned to look at his phone ringing on the bed. He then looked back down at his body. It was then a brilliant idea had hit him. Rob and Aidan were going to be the best of friends again after he was done.

#male transformation

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queen-of-deans-booty · 4 months

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Your Savior

Pairing: Cop!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: angst, being taken hostage at gunpoint, fearful of your life

Request by @jessicalynnann: What about cop/detective dean and him and the reader are in an established relationship and she owns a cute little bakery… well what if something happens like she gets attacked but doesn’t tell him and he finds out and is upset but comforts her…

Summary: You have a little bakery that is your pride and joy and a boyfriend on the police force who you're so proud of. He doesn't have a lot of dangerous cases until one day, three gunmen decide to take a bank hostage. A bank that is a couple of blocks from your bakery.

Square Filled: criminal au (2022) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

You have to bake two dozen cupcakes, a two-tier cake, and a half dozen cookies before the end of the day and you’re working as hard as you can to get that done. You have flour on your apron and face, quiet music is playing from your speaker, and you have your hands elbow-deep in a bowl of batter.

The bell on the front door rings signalling someone walked into your bakery store, and you try to peek out of the room to see who it is.

“I’ll be right with you!” you call out. “Give me one minute!” The person doesn’t wait for you to come out to them so they walk into the kitchen. You’re about to yell at them when you see who it is. “Dean!”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he grins.

Dean is a respected cop that everyone knows. He has been on the force since eighteen, and he’s only gone up from there. He walks behind the counter and kisses you even though some of the flour gets on his face.

“What are you doing here?”

“What, I can’t stop by my girlfriend’s bakery?” You raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs. “No, I just wanted to say hi on my break.”

“Hi,” you smile. “Today has been hectic and I haven’t been open for nearly an hour. I just got this big order in for a birthday party this weekend. I’m trying to get as much as I can done so I don’t have to do it later.”

“Where’s Maria?”

“Coming in late. She has a sick kid at home, and her husband won’t be able to pick him up until after ten.”

“I was going to take you out for lunch but I can come here.”

“No, Maria can hold down the fort for an hour. I’d love to go out to lunch with you.”

“Okay.” He grabs one of the fresh muffins you made and takes out a ten dollar bill which he sets on the counter. “I’ll be back at twelve.”

“Hey, I don’t need your money.”

“It’s stealing. I’m a cop. I uphold the law,” he grins. He leans down and kisses you. “I love you.”

“I love you, too!”

Right before Maria shows up, your bakery filled with customers who are hungry for your sweets. With her at the register, you can focus on the big order which you’re almost done making the batter for. This whole bakery idea is all because of Dean. When you two were in high school, he encouraged you to continue bake. The school held a bunch of bake-offs which you participated in, and everyone fell in love with your food.

Starting junior year of high school, you started selling your baked goods for cheap until you got orders from practically everyone. His family owned a section of a building in the mall for their seasonal work, so they let you use it when they weren't. When Dean became a cop, you made cookies and cupcakes for all the officers in the office.

Being a cop is something you wished Dean didn’t pursue because it’s a very dangerous job, and you’re always worried that he’s not going to come home. He’s mostly a beat cop who does a lot of desk work and will occasionally do the big things like drug busts and hostage situations but those are far in between.

You don’t like it but you know he’s the best person for the job. He’s determined, he loves helping people who can’t help themselves, and he has a passion for the job. Just like you.

Noon comes faster than you think it does, and you start to clean your work space so that when you return from lunch, you can start with a clean area. Dean walks in through the front door just as you’re finishing up.

“Y/N, Dean is here,” Maria calls from the front.

“Coming!” You put the dirty rags in the small hamper and take off your dirty apron. There is some flour on your clothes but not enough to cause you to not go out in public. That’s the reality of being a baker. You have flour on everything you wear. “Where are we going?”

“Razzio’s.”

“Italian food. Yum,” you giggle. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Have fun!” Maria smiles.

Razzio’s is located in the same block as your bakery so you two walk over there. The owner knows Dean from when he stopped a robbery fromt aking place, so now he gets free meals and discounts when he comes in. Dean still pays full price for the food even though Razzio doesn’t always take it.

“Dean! Welcome in!” Razzio greets.

“Hey, Raz. Got a table for me?”

“Of course. Window okay?”

“Perfect.”

Dean likes to try everything on the menu so he has Razzio cook him up something new every week without ordering, and every week, you end up loving what he brings to the table. It’s not unusual for Razzio not to lay menus down for you.

“So, I was thinking this weekend, we can take some time off,” Dean says.

“Like a getaway?”

“Yeah. My family has a cabin up north that I’d love to take you to.”

“It will be nice to relax instead of worrying about what orders I need to prepare for next week.”

“See? Win-win.”

“You’re a dork,” you giggle and kiss him.

Razzio is perfect like always, and you walked away with a free meal. What Razzio doesn’t take, Dean leaves as a tip for him. You walk back to your bakery hand-in-hand with a full stomach and a happy heart. You reach his police car when the radio he has strapped to his shoulder crackles to life.

“Unit 27, I got a 10-31 in progress. All three subjects appear to be armed. Please respond.”

10-31. You’ve been with Dean long enough to know that it’s a robbery. Subjects being armed means they have guns.

Dean grabs the small radio and presses the button to respond back.

“Unit 27 responding.” He turns to you. “I gotta go.”

“Please be careful.”

“Always,” he winks.

He kisses you goodbye and hops into his police cruiser. You watch him peel out of the parking lot before going back inside. It seems like not a lot of people have come in while you were gone so nothing bad happened. You resume your baking in the kitchen and slide in two batches of cupcakes into the oven when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

Something isn’t right.

You walk carefully to the closed kitchen door and peer out of the small window to see three men with big guns inside the store. Maria and the other customers huddle together in fear. Are these the three subjects the same ones that the dispatcher was warning Dean about? How did they escape? Why did they come here? Are they looking to steal some food?

You take your phone out and dial Dean’s personal cell and place it to your ear. Pick up, Dean, pick up. Come on, pick up. You get his voicemail because he’s probably busy with the situation he got called away on.

“Dean, I need you here. There are three men with big guns in the bakery. Please hurry. They might be--”

“Hey!”

You look up and lock eyes with one of the suspects. You quickly hang up and duck down but he has already seen you. The man storms into the kitchen and grabs your arm tightly. You’re thrown off balance that your phone is dropped when he drags you out where everyone else is. You don’t struggle to get away in fear of being shot and let them tie you up.

“Are you the owner?” the leader asks. You nod because you have tape over your mouth. “Where’s the money?” You shake your head and he cocks his weapon. “Where’s the fucking money?!”

You mumble something underneath the tape, and one of the them rips it off you.

“Fuck,” you hiss at the pain. “I don’t have a lot of money. You’re wasting your time here.”

“No, you see, I know you have money. I see you leave this store every day with a bag full of it. Where is it?”

“Not here.”

Like hell you’re going to tell them there is a big safe hidden behind a picture frame in the abc with a bunch of cash stored there. You have most of the cash in the bank but you keep a chunk of it here for emergencies only. You’re not going to give them your hard earned money.

“Okay.” The leader points his gun at you and Maria cries where she sits. “You have until the count of three to tell me where the money is or I blow your fucking head off. Deal?”

The fear has sunk in and you start crying not only for you but for everyone else here. MAria is such a good mother and wife, she doesn’t deserve to be killed. Every customer in here has a life, someone they go home to. You cna’t do that to them. You have no idea if Dean got your message so you can’t rely on him to be here and save you.

“One.”

You look up to answer when you spot someone moving behind him. You look and see Dean’s beautiful green eyes looking into yours. He has four other cops with him that snuck in through the back.

“Two.”

He puts a finger to his mouth to tell you to keep quiet, and you look back at the man who is threatening you with a gun.

“Thr--”

“Wait! I’ll tell you!” you gasp.

“I’m waiting.”

“Okay. If I tell you, you let them go. They have nothing to do with this,” you gesture to the other hostages.

“We’ll see. Where’s the fucking money?”

You look behind the three gunmen and notice Dean and the other cops come out quietly with their guns out.

“Right behind you.”

The leader turns right into the barrel of Dean’s gun. He goes to raise his own to fight but notices the other four cops with guns on them. They are outnumbered and they don’t want to die.

“Man, you three were hard to catch. Why’d you come here?” Dean chuckles. “Lower your weapons. All of you. Turn around with hands behind your backs.”

The three men do as they’re told, and three officers put them in handcuffs. Another ones goes over to the hostages and starts to get the out of their ties while Dean rushes over to you.

“Oh, my God, Dean,” you cry.

“I’m right here, baby. You’re okay. You’re safe now.” Once free, you get up and run into his arms. You break down crying and he smoothes down your hair in comfort. “I’m right here. You’re okay now.”

One of the cops calls for backup so that the gunmen are taken away in three separate cars. Paramedics come to check everyone out, and the money that the gunmen took is being processed to return back to its owners.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Dean asks.

“Yeah. They didn’t hurt us. Well, one of them grabbed my arm hard but I don’t think it’s enough to form a bruise. I didn’t think you got my message. I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I will always come. I will always be here to protect you,” he promises.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary�� where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #spn #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction

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babymochibeargyu · 14 days

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Through Your Eyes part 1

POV:you’re beomgyu’s bestie majoring in photography and video editing

wc:~1.4k

a/n: saw this on tiktok, and thought i would write something because please this man has my whole heart(and i love creating fake scenarios in my head)😩also halfway through the story i realized i didn’t hear the cover with eng subtitles, and omg the story im writing really fits the concept ahh!! Enjoy!

You and Beomgyu go way back to elementary school.

You were the new student in town and you transferred in the middle of the year. At this rate, you thought that it would be kinda difficult to make any friends because, during introductions, you found that the gazes of your new classmates weren’t that friendly.

Luckily, when you were assigned your seat, you were placed right beside the class president(everyone was fighting to be placed beside him so the teacher had to assign him to sit alone.)

As you were walking towards your assigned seat, you realized that he had really cute features and a kind face, and you thought to yourself:

“Please just let me make one friend and I’ll be able to make it through elementary.”

Before you sat down, you were thinking of ways on how to start a conversation with your new seat partner as you usually keep to yourself and aren’t good at making the first move.

But it was like Beomgyu had read your mind. Once you were seated, you felt his figure turn towards you reaching out for a handshake.

“Hi I’m Beomgyu”

“Hi Beomgyu, I’m Y/N.”

“Let’s be friends,” he said.

“I would like that very much” I replied.

So with that said, Beomgyu kept to his word and you guys were the best of friends. Even though throughout elementary school, whenever there were changes in classes, without fail, Gyu will always make sure to have lunch with you during your breaks. And you guys will always wait for each other at the school entrance to walk back home together.

timeskip~

You guys graduated elementary school and managed to get into the same high school, Hanlim Arts High School.

For the first year you were there, honestly, you were pretty clueless about what you wanted to pursue in life. However Gyu, already knew that he wanted to pursue music and dance. So whenever he had time he would go and work on himself, and he would invite you to watch him perform. You could say that you were his first fan.

The way he sang and danced, really evoked emotions that you have never felt before. It felt like the performance was doing the storytelling itself.

During one of his practices, you decided to record his performance. The way he moves, and his facial expressions when he dances, you wanted to capture everything. You wanted others to see Gyu through your lenses. And that’s when you realized what you wanted to pursue.

Videography.

You told Gyu about your newfound passion and he couldn’t help but blush because you managed to find something you were interested in because of him. And he liked the idea.

The time came for you guys to choose your major and naturally, you both weren’t in the same class. But that doesn’t put a stop to your friendship.

Any opportunity given, Gyu will always invite you to come watch him practice and he would ask you to record his performance even before you ask him for permission.

As you frequently visited Gyu to watch his practices, you didn’t realize that he had matured into this beautiful man compared to the first time you met him.

He was this cute boy with a friendly face but now he had changed into someone who captured the hearts of anyone no matter where he walked.

I guess you could say that you felt love for him only in a platonic way. But that changed when your classmates started to ask whether anything was going on between you and Gyu. Because you would always disappear once classes end and they never got to hang out with you.

You thought to yourself, why now? When all this time during year 2, no one bothered where you went after classes. The thought lingered in your mind as you made your way to Gyu’s practice session.

As you were recording Gyu's practice, you couldn’t help but think of why your classmates said what they said. Are you and Gyu, dating? That would be like dating my brother you thought to yourself.

While you were having these thoughts to yourself, you’ve never realized it but Gyu was always keeping his eyes on you as he performed(through the mirror reflection). One shift in your mood and he would drop everything.

And seeing you not focusing on him when he was practicing, kinda made him worry because you were always focused when he was practicing in front of you.

So even though the music stopped (which you did not notice because you were so lost in your train of thought) Gyu had already walked up to you, squatted down, and placed his face directly in front of you, leaving a little gap between you two.

When you were finally out of your trance, you shifted back as the proximity of his face with yours startled you.

He was confused as to why you did that but he just brushed it off and asked what you were thinking about that you didn’t even notice that he had stopped practicing.

You didn’t want to say the real reason but best friends don’t keep secrets from each other right? So you decided to tell him the truth about what your friends said, asking whether you guys were dating.

When Gyu heard that, he could feel his ears starting to get hot and he saw himself getting red in the mirror. So he tries to hide it with his hands by faking a cough so you wouldn’t catch on.

“I mean us dating? That would be weird” you said.

Gyu just laughs and says “Yeah so weird. Why would anyone think that?”

But deep down he knows why your classmates had asked you whether you guys were dating.

You’ve never noticed it as your seat was near the windows where you could see your school courtyard, however, there were times that Gyu would take the long way back to his class just so that he could see you (on days when he didn’t have practice). He would tell your classmates not to call for you whenever he came so that he could just admire you from afar. Because even though he knows his feelings for you existed, he didn’t want to act on them and ruin the friendship as he didn’t know whether you liked him back.

2 times a week turned to 3,4 sometimes he would pass by your class every day just that you wouldn’t notice. Just a glimpse of you and that could turn his whole day around. And that was why your classmates asked you whether you guys were dating, but you still did not have a clue about it.

Days, weeks, and months passed and you guys were finally off to college. Gyu’s classes involved composition writing, recording for music, and acting. And for you, you decided to continue in videography and video editing.

One of his assignments he had to complete was to shoot a music video while also recording the vocals of a new/cover song. So of course he went to the best person for this assignment. You! His amazing best friend who majors in videography.

Of course you accept, because now that you guys are in college, you guys don’t get to hang out as much anymore.

Gyu decided on a Japanese song and he told you the ideas of what he wanted to appear in the cover music video.

During one of the shots, he suggested doing a wide shot with him standing in the middle while looking at the camera. However, you suggested doing a tighter shot of him.

You gave him the instruction to show love and yearning. You told him to imagine that the camera is someone that he loves and he did just that, even better than you imagined.

While you were recording the shot, it felt like his eyes were on you the entire time. That whatever he was conveying through his eyes was all for you. It felt so genuine and innocent that honestly in that moment, you realized that you had denied your feelings for him. However, you didn’t want to expect anything and just told him what a great shot that was and his acting skills were fantastic.

Little did you know that he didn’t even need to pretend to show love and yearning. Because the person he had feelings for was right in front of him.

Read Part 2 here!

#beomgyu x reader #beomgyu soft hours #txt beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #txt x reader #beomgyu #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu x you #choi beomgyu fluff #txt fluff #txt

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pix3lplays · 10 months

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Hii this is my first time requesting and I'm kinda nervous but can you do Nanook x Herrscher!reader? Any herrscher is fine but like the reader acts as a normal mortal and caught the eye of Nanook when the reader was battling one of Nanooks emenators(i think?), sort of activating their herrscher form (I don't remember how being a herrscher works I haven't played honkai in a while-)

If you aren't taking requests at the time please ignore this! I read your rules like 5 times- (I'm just really obsessed with the thought of herrscher reader right now)

Hey! I love Nanook, let’s do it! Not gonna specify which Herrscher the reader is because I’m bad at making decisions lol Hope you don’t mind me changing it just a little to you fighting a ravager

Cw! Nanook is toxic

-Nanook x Herrscher!reader-

Nanook had always had a sort of…indescribable feeling about you. Like they knew you weren’t just some normal mortal, but they could never figure out just what you were til you battled one of their Lord Ravagers, and won due to the use of your Herrscher powers.

Impressive. They found it…very impressive.

Nanook is attracted to power. They found themself drawn to you, and revealed themself to you.

And you were intrigued in return. An Aeon, taking an interest in you? You weren’t sure what kind of interest at first, but you knew whatever it was, it could be good or bad news to have the Aeon of Destruction paying special attention to you.

It doesn’t take Nanook long to declare their intentions toward you, and you’re flattered but…they’re Nanook the Destruction, this could be dangerous territory, even for you.

Nevertheless, you decide to pursue a relationship with the Aeon.

Nanook is at first only romantically interested in you for your powers. They want to make you one of their Emanators, if you’ll accept.

Imagine how powerful you could be as an Emanator of Destruction, AND a Herrscher!

Maybe you accept their offer, become an Emanator of Destruction, and begin wreaking sweet Destruction in Nanook’s name.

Or you could refuse. Nanook, however, likes you too much to let you go.

They’ll pursue a relationship with you, regardless of your choice.

Nanook, as a lover, is passionate, aggressive in their affections, and almost suffocating in their love.

If you weren’t a Herrscher, you wonder if you’d be able to handle it.

They start wars in your honor, and as a way to show their love for you.

And Nanook only gets more aggressive the deeper they fall in love, bringing glorious destruction in your name wherever they go.

It’s a little bit…horrifying to see what Nanook would do for you. But you love the Aeon. You put up with the violence because of that.

Nanook loves witnessing your powers in action, and encourages you to show your strength often. Show them the might of a Herrscher, make them fall deeper in love with you and your strength.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #my writing #Nanook #Nanook the destruction #nanook x reader #hsr Nanook x reader #honkai star rail Nanook x reader #Nanook the destruction x reader

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slut4msby · 4 months

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i wish you were sober. miya atsumu x Reader

+ tags & warnings; alcohol use & not proofread

+ a/n; day 1/7 :p have some atsumu bc i will always write about this man <3

“Having fun, Y/N?” Atsumu yelled over the shitty pop music playing in the background. His breath smelt like the cheapest vodka, yet despite his fucked up state he was one of the most gorgeous people you have ever seen. It was almost as if he was glowing. His hair swept to the right and his brown eyes staring down at you.

“I dunno? You having fun, ‘Tsumu?” You smile in response, swishing around the store-brand soda in your cup.

“Of course I am, Y/N! That’s a dumb question.”

“Then I’m having fun, ‘Tsumu! Tonight’s about you.” Tonight you were celebrating Atsumu making into the MSBY Black Jackals team, pursuing his passion and his greatest dream. The party was filled with friends from the past and present. Everyone coming together for one more night before everyone's lives filled up with the duties of adulthood.

“You have always cared so much about me, Y/N-chan.” Atsumu chuckled.

“Hey ‘Tsumu? I’m gonna go get another drink.” You yell getting up walking into the sea of drunk adults. Your drink wasn’t empty but you couldn’t stand being around Miya Atsumu any longer.

As you made your way through the lively crowd, the thumping beat of the music only intensified the fluttering in your chest. Atsumu's voice echoed in her mind, and the scent of the cheap vodka lingered like a sweet torment. His intoxicating presence had a peculiar effect on her. In the midst of the celebration, it was impossible to ignore the magnetic pull you had on you.

Every word he spoke, every smile he flashed, seemed to wrap around you like a spell. As you stand in one of the corners scanning the room, your eyes can’t help but stop on Atsumu. A bottle of beer in his hand this time, ripped jeans hugging his legs and a shirt you were sure belonged to Osamu.

You couldn’t stand being here anymore, you finally gathered the confidence to walk over to Atsumu placing a hand on his shoulder. “‘Tsumu? I’m going to head out now.”

“Wait Y/N, let me walk ya out at least! It’s the least I could do.”

And he does just that. Follows you to your car door. You unlock the car before turning around to say your final goodbye. The cool night air embraced both of you as you stood by your car, the distant sounds of the party fading into the background. Atsumu leaned against the car, his brown eyes fixed on yours, a hint of seriousness replacing the playful demeanour he had maintained throughout the night.

“I love you, Y/N. Like LOVE. Like I LOVE ya a lot and I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you all night and you don’t understand the effect you have on me and stuff. I’m not good with my emotions or words but I LOVE you Y/N.”

The weight of Atsumu's confession hung in the air, his words blending with the cool night breeze. His sincerity was unmistakable, but the alcohol on his breath and the chaotic energy of the party left you torn between the intoxicating moment and the reality of the situation.

A mixture of emotions played on your face as you processed his words. Atsumu's drunken honesty tugged at your heartstrings, yet a part of you couldn't fully trust the authenticity of the moment. You cared for him deeply, but you knew the importance of clarity and understanding in matters of the heart.

“I- That’s real sweet, Atsumu. But I wish you were sober. I wish you were sober so I could believe those words.” You state, your voice soft.

With a final nod, you got into your car, the engine starting with a purr. Atsumu stepped back, watching as you drove away from the chaos of the party. You left a dumbfounded Atsumu standing there watching you drive away. His heartbroken.

The drive home was both a physical and emotional journey. The music playing on the radio became a distant backdrop to the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. You couldn't deny the intensity of your feelings for Atsumu, but the timing and the influence of alcohol cast a shadow of doubt over the sincerity of the moment.

Back at the party, Atsumu was left standing alone, surrounded by the remnants of the celebration. His heartache was palpable, and the gravity of his words weighed heavily on him. “I wish you were sober.” The words that came out of your mouth that repeated in his head for the rest of the night. The words that encouraged him to keep drinking until he would forget.

I wish you were sober.

©slut4msby.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader #lea's stories :3 #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu angst #hq fluff #hq #atsumu #miya atsumu #msby atsumu #atsumu miya #hq atsumu #miya twins

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blainesebastian · 2 years

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red-carpet

words: 3,007 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request): reader is at a red carpet event & is seated with austin at a table during an award show, where they instantly hit it off. just cute, awkward, Y/N obviously had a crush on him before this, fluff type vibe. notes: masterlist on my sidebar, thank you for all the requests everyone :) let me know if you’d like to be added to a general taglist warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell,

You’re actually the date of someone else, that’s how you end up at this red-carpet event. You’re grateful of course but sometimes it feels like your life has been put into a blender and placed on the highest chop cycle. One moment your biggest dilemma is whether to buy orange or apple juice at the store and then it’s ‘what dress will even look remotely classy to go to a red-carpet event in Hollywood’ at the very last minute. It’s Will’s fault, one of your life-long friends, and well you suppose you can’t blame him too much. You know this whole ‘fame’ thing is pretty new to him too and he’s carting you along for the ride, which is appreciated? But at the same time, you don’t think you want to spend your night at an event like this—all eyes on you, trying to figure out who you are, why you’re there, who you’re wearing.

Little do they know it’s a vintage little black dress you were able to find on sale, paired with velvet green heels. They somehow bring out the brightness in your eyes, a scarlet lipstick for contrast, hair in soft curls that sit on your shoulders. While Will offered an appointment from his own stylist, you kinda like doing stuff like that on your own—besides, you’re not the focus of tonight, no one is going to be asking you questions when you’re arm-in-arm with someone being nominated.

To that point, you look over at your friend as you walk through the double doors that open up into a large ballroom type area that has the stage set and ready. Checking in with a few people at the front, you receive the numbered table you’re going to sit at—

“This is kinda crazy,” You laugh, “Just to think—one day I’m sitting next to you in the sixth grade and you’re crying over spilled milk, literally—”

“Unfair,” Will interrupts with a hand, “That was all over the valentine I had spent the whole night making for Justine—”

You try not to snort but a noise definitely leaves your lips, covering your mouth with your hand, “Justine didn’t know you existed, she was dating someone else at the time.”

“Hence the valentine,” Will says pointedly, “It was supposed to change her mind.”

You laugh warmly and squeeze his arm, walking towards an open bar to grab a drink. “And now you’re here, being nominated for best supporting actor.”

So much has changed in a short amount of time, or maybe it just feels like a small coverage of your life. High school, college, the ups and downs of Will trying to break through with his acting career. Not just open the door but knock the whole thing down—tirelessly he’s put in hours, audition after audition and now here he is, at an award ceremony being nominated. It’s not as simple for some people who have passion, who have something they really love and want to pursue, there’s a lot of luck involved. But you also know how much he deserves this, even if he lowballs himself.

That awkward kid in the third grade who had wild, untamed dark curls and braces is now a strikingly handsome actor with raw talent to top it all off.

“Just supporting,” Will says and there he goes, attempting to under-value his work. But you know him, he’s just acting like he’s not impressed with himself in case he doesn’t win anything tonight—then he won’t have to hide the fact that he’s disappointed.

You affectionately roll your eyes as he offers you a glass of wine before grabbing his own, “Not like I’m out here with an impressive lead role or anything, Austin Butler was literally Elvis.”

You hum a bit dreamily as you take a sip of your wine. It’s unfair for Will to use that as a comparison in so many ways, mostly because, “That doesn’t eliminate the difficult and badass work you’ve put in for your own craft.”

Will thought he probably wasn’t going to get much commentary back because secondly, it’s a well-known fact that you’ve never discussed with anyone that you have a major crush on the tall, handsome actor. Except…well, obviously Will.

Yes, okay, seeing Elvis awakened a lot of strong feelings that you didn’t know were so prevalent when you watched other things he’d starred in. Sue you—wasn’t that the entire point of the film? You let out a breath, the air fluttering your hair a bit. You’re aware that Austin’s here but you already know that, luckily, you won’t be running into him. Not with the variety of other stars here and the massive number of tables. He’s probably seated at one near the front with his own date and—

“You know I read he broke up with his girlfriend?”

Making a face, you begin walking with Will towards the designated table you were assigned, “Why do I need to know this?”

Will smiles, shrugging, “Cause you’re obvious,” He smirks, “It could just give you just the edge you need to make your move tonight.”

He snickers when you bump your shoulder with his, “Shut up—first of all, just because he’s here does not mean I’m gonna seek him out, and secondly, even if I did run into him, what makes you think I’m gonna be able to even talk like a regular human being—”

The rest of your question completely disappears underneath your tongue because you stop fucking short. Right at the table number you’re headed to, three feet away, is Austin Butler. Austin Butler…walking to that same table…alone.

No date.

Austin Butler who is looking ridiculously fine in his sleek black suit, golden details of jewelry that bring out the blonde in his curls, smiling as he speaks to other people that are sitting at the same table you’re going to be seated at.

Nope.

“We’re sitting someplace else,” You say, as if you have some authority in making that happen.

Will’s eyebrows draw together in confusion before glancing at the table and grinning in realization, “Oh no we’re not.” He grabs your hand, tugging, and you just about fall over as your knees turn into bowls of jello.

“Will,” You all but quietly screech, “Stop—wait, I seriously can’t, not with what I’m wearing.” As if Austin cares about the heights of fashion and what you’ve got on but suddenly you’re super paranoid about what you look like, even though you highly approved of your outfit about five minutes ago.

“You seriously can.” Will says back and it’s too late to even make a different decision because he’s pulling on you too insistently to change course and you consider, for a moment, making a scene but it’s too late—

And you’re already at the table, Austin turning to look directly at you both as you end up at the seat next to him.

You are ninety percent sure that you almost melt right through the floor as he offers you a small and polite smile before saying Will’s name, “Hey man—you were amazing in—” There’s this roar of the ocean in your ears and you realize it’s actually your heart beating so fast and loudly that it’s covering up Austin’s commentary to your best friend.

You take in a short breath, unlock your knees so you don’t faint, and rest your hand along the back of your chair to ground yourself. Relax, you repeat a few times and you finally do. Once that happens and you feel like you’re actually a normal person again, you realize that Austin is looking down at you and wow height difference before you realize you’ve missed what was said.

Blinking, a soft laugh comes from Will, “You’ll have to excuse Y/N, she’s a big fan.”

You’re going to murder your best friend before he actually has a chance to win any awards. Austin laughs warmly—maybe even a bit shyly? And your cheeks splotch red before you shake your head,

“Guilty.” Cool, one word down—only a million more to formulate before the night is over.

“Wow thank you, that’s really sweet,” Austin offers his hand to shake, “Y/N, is it?”

You confirm with yourself that it is, in fact, your name before you nod with a smile. Gingerly taking his hand, you shake it back and try not to think about how warm his skin is. You gotta shake off this star struck sensation before you completely make an ass out of yourself—the night hasn’t even begun.

“It’s great to meet you.” You smile, curling your hair around your ear as you take a seat at the table, “I promise not to talk your ear off all night about your filmography.”

A soft laugh tumbles out of his lips as he follows suit, shaking his head. “I don’t mind, kinda makes it easier for me to get used to when people talk about it.”

And that’s…a surprising response, refreshing almost. You’ve admittedly watched a decent amount of interviews Austin’s been in and he seems so…humble? Genuine. And it’s here too right before your eyes, in the way Austin speaks and handles himself, it’s not just for show. Your heart swells in your chest because that certainly doesn’t make your crush on him any easier.

“I’m sure you know what I mean though—with Will’s career up-and-coming too?” You suppose Austin has a point, you hadn’t really thought about it like that, “How long have you two been together?”

You take a sip of wine and laugh softly, the sound almost turning into a cough. Austin’s eyebrows draw together slightly even though the edges of his mouth are amused, “Sorry—uhm, Will and I aren’t together, we’re not dating,” You shake your head, “He’s my best friend, has been for half my life.”

“Oh, my bad,” Austin chews on his lower lip, picking up his own drink to take a sip.

A few others settle around the table, Will on the other side talking to a fellow actor that was in the film with him. A small smile tugs its way onto your face, stomach fluttering with apprehension. No matter what happens tonight with the awards, you have plans this weekend to celebrate—which may or may not include baking some sort of cake or cupcakes and an Alien movie marathon. Bottles of wine definitely included.

“What is it that you do?” Austin asks next, almost looking apologetic for a moment for the small talk but you honestly don’t mind. He could decide to read the phone book and that’d be okay with you—not only is he nice to listen to but any excuse to settle your eyes on him is an added bonus. “You in the Hollywood scene too?”

“God no,” Way too quick of a response and Austin raises his eyebrows just a little. You laugh slightly, running your hand along one of your heated cheeks, “I just meant I don’t think I could handle it, ‘the life’?” There are some air quotes with your fingers.

“’The life’?” Austin repeats, smiling, “You make it sound like some sort of mob movie.”

Leaning back against the cushion of your chair, you’re about to dive into the original question with a grin—something you love talking about, “I’m a kindergarten teacher, by the way, have been for…” You purse your lips, trying to remember, “Eight years now?”

And there’s this…warmth that Austin has in his eyes, like the sun on the ocean, sincere as he listens. “Eight years?” He asks, angling his body a bit towards yours—there’s this authentic interest when he speaks and you don’t know why it’s so surprising to you. Maybe because you’re talking about being a teacher, something that feels so mundane at this red-carpet event, and someone who’s just embodied Elvis in an amazing film is talking to you as if you hold a secret wonder of the world.

It's just…nice to know that Austin, thus far, is exactly who he shows himself to be.

“And you were sayin’ Hollywood was like the mob? Little kids can be tyrants too.”

Laughing, you take another sip of wine, “You’re not wrong—especially when there’s twenty-five in one room and you’ve only got three sets of Legos.”

It’s a small conversation before the award ceremony begins but you feel…validated in talking about it. Not something you expected from a celebrity encounter, especially sometimes when you can’t even get it from someone who works a more ‘normal’ job. You can’t help but sneak glances at Austin when awards are being presented, speeches getting made…hard to concentrate on anything else. He’s wickedly handsome, thoughtful, great at carrying a conversation because of course he is. You should have suspected that Austin would turn out to be everything you thought—just makes your crush that much more difficult.

Whatever, consider this a lucky interaction and move on, right?

During a small intermission, you stand from the table to get a refill at the open bar. Will comes up right beside you on his way to the bathroom and grins— “Both of you makin’ hearteyes at one another or what?”

You snort, shoving him a little, “Shut up, he’s just really nice.”

“Mhm, you can owe me one later.”

Rolling your eyes, you watch him walk off before waiting in the small line to get a drink. Stepping forward when it’s your turn, you linger along the bar as you wait for your order to be filled, smiling at the bartender when he places another glass of wine in your hand.

“Beautiful dress.” A guy says next to you, lingering. You look over to see an older gentleman that you don’t recognize—though there’s a ton of people at this thing, he could be anyone. You blink for a moment, looking over your shoulder and then realize—

“Yes,” He laughs, “I’m talking to you. Stunning.” You can tell he’s the type of Hollywood socialite that expects the world to move for him every time he dishes out a compliment. You take in a patient breath before humming,

“Thank you.” Not wanting to be rude but attempting to move away, you step back from the open bar but this guy steps forward into your space.

“Are you an actress?” He asks and oh no, really? That line? “I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before.”

You try not to grit your teeth because apparently this guy is going to be insistent with one of the worst pick-up lines known to man. And now his hand is reaching out to touch your forearm, “I don’t think so, excuse me.”

“I’m a writer, you know,” He begins, just as you start to plan your escape route but then feel a warm weight behind you. And suddenly an arm is wrapping around your waist and you panic slightly because is this guy tag-teaming you with a buddy? But then look up and realize—

“There you are,” Austin smiles down at you, squeezing your waist, “Thought I’d have to send a search and rescue team up here to find you.” He then looks over at the guy who wouldn’t buzz off, “Jack—I see you’ve met my girlfriend.”

Your head is going to spin right off your neck at the whirlwind of things happening right now. Not only is it enough to feel Austin Butler molded into your side, the scent of his expensive sandalwood cologne settling over you like a light blanket, his hand on your hip, now he’s throwing words around like ‘girlfriend’ and you’re lucky you’re standing against him because your stomach drops straight into your knees.

Jack visibly makes a face, crinkling his nose, “I see.” He clears his throat, “Good seeing you again Austin.” And doesn’t say another word to you as he moves along his way.

Austin is quick to detach himself from your waist, swiveling around to face you with the softest of pinks kissing his cheeks. Gone too soon, to be honest. You can still feel the heat of his skin seeping through the fabric of your clothes. You blink up at him, not that you’re not thankful for the rescue but,

“That’s Jack,” Austin supplies, “He thinks he’s a gift to the writers of Hollywood. Not the first time I’ve seen him corner women into conversations they don’t want to be in,” He smiles a little, running a hand through his hair, “You just seemed stuck.”

“I was definitely stuck,” You laugh, your hand automatically squeezing his wrist, “Thank you. Maybe I can uh…” Oh man, here goes nothing, right? “Buy you a drink sometime? Say thanks?”

Austin looks at you for a long moment, drawing his lower lip into his mouth in thought. He seems to be considering something that you can’t pinpoint but eventually he nods, “Yeah, I’d like that. Then I’d like to buy you one, if that’s alright.”

“That’s a fair trade,” You grin, can’t help but feeling a little giddy and maybe lightheaded? You half expect to wake up from this dream and stare at your ceiling in disbelief, “I’m on that kindergarten salary so it’d be much appreciated.”

He chuckles and the exchange of numbers is quick before Austin grabs his drink and begins to return to the table. Seeing Will beginning to walk back as well, you manage to snag him by looping your arm around his.

“Alright,” You sigh dramatically, glancing towards the table as Austin makes it back there. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth, watching him talk with other people…and then his gaze just so happens to look in your direction again. There’s an eye connect, soft smiles exchanged, and your stomach bursts into fluttering butterflies.

“You’re right, I owe you one.” You tell Will and he laughs—no need to elaborate, throwing his arm around you to squeeze as you walk back to sit down.

The rest of the evening is a perfect blur.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler drabble #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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dank-meme-legend · 1 month

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Everything Under Control, Growing into Autistic Young Adulthood

I’m turning 20 this year, I live at home. I’m working through community college and planning to transfer to a four-year school.

It’s set quite clearly what my pathway is: get good grades, transfer, live at home until I graduate college.

Then, I can start to branch out into proper independence, maybe live on my own, or sort out living with my partner, something of the sort. It’ll be my decision.

I’m passive in discussing it all. In the loving words of my girlfriend, I don’t seem “too jazzed about it.”

And they’re right.

I’m passive for a reason, I’m letting it go on by me because what I want doesn’t make much sense, at least to my parents.

In a completely ideal world, I would work a library job and be able to write on the side, maybe free-lance or journaling, I haven’t decided.

But I can’t tell a person I’m an English major without the dreaded, “Oh, so you want to be a teacher!” talk (I’m not discrediting teachers, we need them! It’s just… always the first thing people think when anyone says they’re pursuing English, and my parents don’t help with that, necessarily).

I’m held back in redundant ways because I’m on the spectrum. I wasn’t trusted to cook until recently, just as one example. Recently. I’m going to be 20 this year.

I’m second guessed constantly, even about things I know as facts. My own interests are a big one, anything I say about my own special interests, my parents have my sister fact-check. You wouldn’t fact check a mechanic about cars, would you? Why are you fact checking my knowledge? (The ironic thing is that outside of my family, I’m completely respected in my knowledge. My good friend @turniptitaness jokingly calls me the Ambassador for The Politician, and while that title is said in a joking manner, I’m at least not second guessed in a thing I’m known for knowing a lot about. That’s only one example.)

I have to walk this line, too, this line between “too autistic” and “not autistic enough.” Which is hard, because I’m autistic no matter what. I’ve learned quickly that stimming or infodumping are frowned upon in my home, so I don’t do them. But that bites me in the ass because then I’m “barely autistic,” whatever that means. There’s a redundant measurement of my autism that’s been put on to me.

By other people. I don’t even get a say in my own autism advocacy or my own autistic joy, because in my house, autistic joy rarely exists. It’s only ever brought up as a negative. “Morgan struggles in school, she’s autistic.”

The writing achievements I’ve gained throughout school, for example, even when being about special interests, have nothing to do with autism. But they do, inherently. Writing an analytical paper about a special interest, recalling scenes from memory, was due to my intense passion.

It’s a terrible line to walk. I have to take pride in not having accommodations because it helps me to “blend in” more.

No one has considered whether I really care about blending in, appearing “normal.”

To a degree, of course I do. Of course I want to present myself in a respectful way.

But I, me, Morgan in my own mind, do not care if I get weird looks from people if I stim.

I don’t care if I “look autistic.” I am autistic. There is no look.

In myself, I’m proud of talking about it. I don’t want to hide it.

And I’m not going to lie, I have moments of sensory overload, sometimes bad sensory days in total. Where I wake up and can feel so viscerally uncomfortable in my own skin that I don’t want to get out of bed and become overwhelmed by the smallest of things.

But I can’t express that, either. When my disability, is disabling, I can’t talk about it.

Walk that fine line.

Everything under control.

A lot of it out of my control.

When it’s my life at the end of the day.

#autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #audhd #how to dance in ohio #htdio #(referenced)

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lunetual · 1 year

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♡ HAPPY TAEHYUN DAY ♡ to my star boy, my very best boy, my boy with entire universes in his eyes. i don’t know that i could say it better than yeonjun so i’ll just echo his words — i hope taehyun can have a better birthday than anyone else can.

quick cc note: ah, taehyunnie! i always say he’s my most special kpop boy and like! i mean it! from the drop he has had such a particular place in my heart. and by from the drop i literally mean from day one when txt hadn’t even debuted yet and we all thought taehyun was a rapper. ah, the good ol’ days. we’ve come so far since then!

every time i look at how well he’s growing up, how he’s really coming into his own, i just feel. SO so proud. i worry that i’m getting repetitive in these tubatu bday notes always talking about how they’ve grown so much and so well but it’s just. i can’t help it. to me the tubatus are like. my little brother group? it is such a privilege to me to have been able to watch taehyun turn from this clever, bright eyed, ambitious little rookie to... well, he’s still clever, bright-eyed, and ambitious! but he’s older and wiser and even steadier than before. he’s always been so confident and surefooted about what he wants but now he’s also got all the weight and knowledge of nearly four years of working as an active idol behind him.

i love how quick-witted he is and how genuinely funny he is around his members and when it’s just moas, but how he gets shy and says he is no fun on variety shows. i love the way he tries to make eye contact with every fan he can at performances and the way he spends so much time interacting with moas on weverse. (i love when he uses weverse as google... like nothing makes me feel more embarrassingly fond than when he’s desperately asking whether it’s okay he swallowed a feather or casually inquiring about geopolitical relations in europe.) i love the way he throws himself into this job with his whole self. i love that he’s so passionate about it, that he’s so serious about it. this is his craft and he really doggedly pursues the avenues he wants to — i’m glad he’s getting to write and topline more and i’m over the MOON that he’s been discussing releasing a mixtape with the company. i love his tenacity to continuously improve and his tenacity to maintain his own standard of excellence. he works so hard to do so. another thing i love SO much is like. okay so, i’ve said this before but. if yeonjun works hard and likes that he can make things look effortless, taehyun works hard and likes for us to see that hard work. :’)

speaking of yeonjun, i think the other thing i love so so much about taehyun is how much he loves his members. he has so much faith in them and you can just tell that if he could do it all over he’d choose those four boys every single time. when soobin said that taehyun really cares about the people in his circle and not at all in a personal way about those not in his circle and that he can tell that they are in taehyun’s circle.... well what am i supposed to do but cry? the way he and hyuka are forever soulmates, the way he never stops telling yeonjun that he’s his driving force, the way that he always lets soobin know that he’s the best leader, the way that he and beomgyu pretend that they’re so different with their mbtis but are always, always there for each other and looking out for each other in every way that counts.

to taehyun!! my boy who lives so tucked inside my heart, who has lived there ever since that little intro video over four years ago now. i think no matter what happens, no matter how busy i am or where i am in life, i will always be rooting for you. i will always be proud of you. every which way i look at it, you have so much still ahead of you and i have no doubt that you will excel at everything you choose pursue — if not right away, then in no time at all. i hope this year is just the biggest one yet and that it gives you so many reasons to laugh. and most of all, i hope that you always, always keep those stars in your eyes.

♡

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chenfordspiral · 1 year

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I don’t get heartbroken over storylines on a TV show very often, but I do over this one.

Because I don’t understand how someone like Lucy can truly love UC (and say it with a smile on her face). Short term, fine. I might be able to get on board with that. But she doesn’t know what it’s like to be gone for months (she said it herself), and how that would impact her and all the people around her. I cannot see a world in which Lucy Chen, the most kindhearted, empathetic, likes-to-take-care-of-the-people-she-loves person ever, would actually love being separated from her family for months (while knowing that at least one person would be hurting the whole time, no matter what he says).

All we’ve seen of her since the season 3 finale makes me believe that she doesn’t actually love UC as much as she says she does. That might just all be wishful thinking on my part, but that’s the vibe I’ve gotten from her for the last two seasons. Did she even talk about UC at all in season 4? But now she’s suddenly so interested in becoming an undercover cop? Does she think she has to do UC and is still pursuing it because of that?

Either way, I don’t get it. Make it make sense, please.

I don’t want to be that person and ask someone, especially a woman, to walk away from a career path for a relationship, but that’s the thing. It’s a path, not the ultimate path to being a successful officer and have a great career in the LAPD. Look at almost everyone around her. Only Nyla and Isabel have gone that route. And we all know what it cost them.

Yes, Tim said Lucy is different. And she is. She wouldn’t bottle it all up the way Isabel apparently did. But that’s not all it is about. No one can guarantee her safety while she’s under. And I think that’s part of why Tim is so scared. He knows she likes UC, knows she’s good at it. Knows she would most likely want to talk things out with him, at least as long as it doesn't reveal too much about the op. But everything has to work out perfectly for her to come back in the first place.

I guess it all boils down to this: they need to have an honest conversation about it. Really honest, no holding back for the other’s sake. And for Lucy to really make an informed decision about UC, she needs to experience a long-term op (and I’m talking months here, not weeks) to know what it’s like. Right now, she’s basing her opinion on all the short-term assignments she’s done and what she thinks she needs to do. She should know whether she really likes long-term or not before fully committing to being an undercover detective. Once she’s a UC, I’m not sure how easy it would be to walk away from it if she only has her first long term op then and realizes it’s not for her.

And let’s not even begin to talk about the other two things. I just don’t understand how she can still do UC with those doc eps. Or how they would make it work for the show in general. They’re already juggling Patrol, Detectives and Metro. How would UC fit in on a weekly basis?!

Anyway. As I said, I don’t get heartbroken over storylines too easily or too often. But this one does things to my heart that I don’t like. Because neither one of them is happy, but they don't talk about it (yet). They're both not being completely honest with themselves, so how are they supposed to be honest with each other?

I don’t want Lucy to compromise something she apparently loves so much. But I also don’t want Tim to compromise himself and go against every single one of his instincts to make her happy. They need to find a balance.

And at the end of the day, he’s her priority, right? When it comes down to it, she would choose him over UC, right? Because he's the most important relationship, and thus most important thing in her life. I'd like to believe she'd make that choice.

Yes. She should do what she loves and is passionate about, but is it worth it if all it does is hurt the person you love the most?

Also, Tim is the most selfless human being ever. We do not deserve this absolute gem of a character. I love how much he loves Lucy. I know I'm kind of contradicting what I said two paragraphs above, but I love his willingness to try and soldier through (no matter how much it hurts him).

I know I'm very emotional right now and it's showing. I just absolutely hate angst and seeing these two hurting because they're not totally honest with each other or pressing the other to be honest is making my heart physically hurt. I know that, with a little distance, I might see things a bit differently. But right now, I'm sad that they're sad and haven't fully talked about the obvious elephant in the room yet.

#chenford #therookie #i clearly have feelings about this and I don't think I'm handling them well #apologies if this sounds totally unreasonable #i'm just a litte sad that it still hasn't been honestly dealt with #but i do have a weird sense of hope that the whole Lucy being UC storyline will be wrapped up soon #and that this was just the beginning of that deeper conversation that needs to happen soon #i hate angst #and need my babies to be happy #anyway #i'll be quiet now.

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myulalie · 2 years

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How famous is WIK, canonically?

When he first appears, it’s during open house day at the music faculty. His unnamed friend introduces him as “really popular on social media” and people cheer, but Porschay’s friend has no clue who WIK is.

Yes, Porschay questions his friend’s ignorance, but Porschay is a fan. He could be surprised that said friend doesn’t remember Porschay talking his ear off about WIK. I’ve personally mentioned a lot of celebrities (music, acting…) whom I think are “common knowledge” to friends and relatives as a teenager and even a young adult. They’re rarely known or only if you play a song people might have heard on the radio.

Speaking of the radio, it’s not featured much in KP, and we don’t hear any of WIK’s songs playing unless it’s part of the scene/the OST.

WIK plays his song and people clap their hands, but apart from a few fans I’ll get back to later, no one seems overly familiar with the song, there is no singing along. Later down the line, WIK’s friend asks questions for the quizz, and while WIK has music videos of his own, we’re talking about covers too, so WIK is a youtuber, with a couple of original songs featured in the show.

As I was saying earlier, a few students are really on top of things, they know the answers and want a shirt, so let’s assume 4 superfans, and a couple of casual fans. What’s left? Clueless students? We could assume everyone somehow heard of WIK at least, they’re here for open house day at the music faculty, they’re interested in music and could be invested in what students from this university produce, but it’s still very niche.

Moreover, when Porschay comes up to WIK to get a shirt after the quizz, I can’t help but notice that there isn’t a crowd. WIK is taking pictures but he’s not surrounded by fangirls, none of his schoolmates are around except for his friend, no security... He signs the shirts on the spot, it’s very amateurish as far as fan meetings go.

It reminds me of walking past a guy taking pictures with a couple of starry eyed girls at the O2. I could only assume he was some kind of influencer but neither me nor my friends (I think there were 6 of us?) could recognize him.

Kim doesn’t go to uni often, as we learn later, but when he does go to class he seems to be able to move about without being followed. As far as security goes, it’s mostly building security at his flat and bodyguards from his family. Overall, nothing suggests that he’s overly famous.

Let’s talk about Kim himself for a second. Kim wants to get away from his family, and the real challenge for him is to pursue a career in music, his passion. He never mentions anything about being famous. When he’s on stage he’s playful with his friend, but slightly shy/embarrassed with the spotlight and almost looks bored when he’s not singing, although he seems appreciative of his fans and how they notice little details.

Even with Porschay, Kim seems uneasy with being the center of attention.

Kim behaves like a youtuber more than a celebrity and canon seems to support this theory. It works out considering his social status as well, Kim can afford the studio, the guitars, the production costs, the sheer time it takes to both make music videos/play music and be nosy about his family's doings.

I’ll take a second to consider his casting as well. Jeff Satur. He’s mostly known as a youtube cover artist as well as some acting. Now, I’m not overly familiar with him and I don’t know much about the entertainment industry in Thailand, so I looked up Jeff’s charting positions: his best ranking was #115 and the worst was #288.

I had never heard of him before (I’m from Europe, so it’s not unexpected). I’d say his popularity outside of Thailand is close to non-existent if you’re not already involved in BL or specifically interested in Asian music.

With around 1 million followers on Instagram, he’s doing well for himself, but I wouldn’t say he’s famous yet (wishing you all the best, Jeff).

Which leads me to my next point: I assume Jeff is supposed to represent Kim’s popularity by sheer power of suggestion.

According to the analysis above, WIK is a local celebrity at best.

One could argue that Kim is popular in another area (fashion, producing music…) but it’s not shown on screen.

Is it even safe for him to be overly famous? The exposure could lead to complications if anyone notices his ties with the mafia, and his father might even interfere to avoid such a thing.

Assuming the Why Don’t You Stay video is canon (I’m torn, it’s also promotional material for the series and filmed as such, but for the sake of the analysis…), WIK sings in a mostly empty coffee shop, and no one pays attention to him. It might be just a way to perform in his spare time, or a small event he organized himself but the turn out is… small, to say the least.

Is Porschay the only one there?

There could be a lot of explanations for this situation so I’m not hellbent on treating it as canon, but it is an interesting choice nonetheless. The music video could feature a small crowd and it doesn’t. Maybe they’re invisible to Kim, maybe it’s thematic and specific to Kim and Porschay’s relationship, but still.

Kim connects with Porschay over their song-writing, more than Porschay's attention to details on his youtube channel and the awestruck aspect of their dynamic. I think Kim went to music school because it’s what he’s really interested in and more than fame, he’s searching for a sense of community, which would make sense with the youtube channel as well, sharing music with others.

Does he have some kind of following? Definitely. A decent following? Perhaps. Is WIK famous? I don’t think so.

#kim #wik #kinnporsche #meta #kp meta #pearls of meta #Kinnporsche meta

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eaeulfl · 4 months

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Spoiler for those who haven’t finished season 4 part 3/the last two episodes

I just finished the last episode and my mind is a hot mess.

I’m probably going to miss some things but here are some of the stuff I have an opinion about:

1. Regarding armin/erwin my thoughts remain unchanged. Despite feeling strongly about it, I gave the series the benefit of the doubt when erwin got killed. I wanted to see if I was wrong. I would’ve been happy about it. In the end armin turned out to be as effective of a commander as a ten year old. The fact of the matter is that he couldn’t do much in the end. He had a number of breakdowns, he wasn’t able to control or utilize the colossal titan as well as bertholdt could in the past, he slipped up that time he was doing a little pep talk with yelena in the background, his biggest plan all along was always to “talk it out first” but that failed too, etc. Eren still did what he wanted and people still died. Except for blowing up the dock and when he tried to sacrifice himself so that falco wouldn’t get eaten by Connie’s mom, I don’t recall any other accomplishments that were of substance in season 4. It’s also possible that I’m just forgetting things because my mind is still racing right now and I’m still going through it emotionally, but for now my thoughts are unchanged. Can you imagine what it would have been like had erwin lived instead?

2. Connecting from the thought above, we can’t change that erwin died, but after finishing the series I can finally conclude that jean should’ve been the next commander. At the very least, he should have been made a vice commander. First of all it’s not impossible that floch survived all of that, but it’s pretty convenient that he did so he could shoot at the fuel tank in order to create a situation where the rumbling would catch up to them. In this situation it was also pretty convenient that Levi had been injured so badly he couldn’t be the one to fight, so as the commander hange decided she had to go, which was apparently a suicide mission because of the temperature around the colossals. I’m going to keep it 100% real here and say the circumstances leading up to this point of armin getting handed the commander’s seat were pretty convenient. Levi whose instincts were so great he managed to remain more or less unscathed for most of the series including when he had to fight kenny, he really didn’t see zeke using the lightning spear coming? And even then he couldn’t dodge it? Despite years of remaining unscathed under different circumstances that were just as if not more horrible? Levi who, along with mikasa, was the first to notice and to react to the replica of the beast titan throwing its shots at them? I just found it a bit hard to believe. And Hange said in the end, “The position calls for a certain quality― a mindset of continuously pursuing understanding”, and I admit armin did have this, but are we really going to ignore what hange also said earlier in the series just so it fits the current narrative? In season 3 when they were arguing about who to give the injection to, hange held mikasa back saying armin was indeed exceptional, but that he lacked the leadership and experience that erwin had. At least from my pov, armin didn’t really change much from the second half of season 1 to season 4. Jean on the other hand, has proven himself numerous times in this regard. He’s a quick thinker, reliable, practical, and passionate - all the qualities of a good leader. No doubt jean isn’t perfect, but imo he’s definitely more suitable. Let’s also not forget jean too has his moments of “pursuing understanding”. There are probably more than I can think of at the moment, but the ones that come to mind immediately are that scene at the end of season 1 which has really stuck with me ever since, when he asked armin if abandoning your humanity was the only way to win, and if eren did become that monster would that really be a victory for humanity, and then that other time when they were in the cell and jean asked mikasa and armin if eren hurting them had some sort of meaning behind it. I wouldn’t say jean is the smartest or the wisest character in the series, but he’s not brainless. Far from it. For some reason, and I’m guessing maybe because he can be short tempered at times, more often than not people don’t really talk about his quick thinking or about the important questions that he’s asked.

3. This is totally unrelated to the series and it’s about naruto so if you’re not into that or if you haven’t seen naruto just skip this part because spoilers.

Before eren’s intentions were made clear I already kind of guessed how it would play out because it’s reminiscent of how itachi wanted sasuke to be the one to kill him so that sasuke would be a hero of the leaf despite being an uchiha. Eren saw the crew as the people most important to him, and for itachi sasuke was even more precious than konoha itself. Eren committed genocide, itachi massacred his entire clan and more. Eren hurt the crew and especially mikasa and armin on purpose, itachi hurt sasuke on purpose. There was of course a huge difference between their executions, and imo itachi played his part much much more skillfully than eren did and for far longer, but it’s an interesting parallel.

4. I found the ending a bit weird. I can kind of roll with it but compared to the majority of the series and how it built itself up up until that point, it honestly feels off. I understand why people thought it was a bad ending, but I also don’t think the author deserved hate for it. And I mean like, there are some really angry people. In most situations, and I’m generalizing here, it’s alright to have opinions and it’s alright to feel a certain way but to direct those feelings towards the author himself is taking it a bit far. It’s his freedom to write whatever. Let’s be happy we even got anything from him. Without the author there would’ve been nothing at all. I know from personal experience it can be overwhelming at times, but it’s going to be ok.

5. I don’t have a particular attachment towards zeke but I felt sorry seeing everything that he had gone through. I’m mentioning this only because I’ve never really talked about it I think. I’ve talked about some of the other characters but not so much about zeke’s past from what I can remember. Grisha and Dina were terrible parents, and him calling Tom ksaver “father” was really sad. I know he’s not the only one and I really don’t even like him all that much but he really had it rough.

6. I felt that the love interests weren’t written very well. I get mikasa cause she’s been obsessed with eren from the start, but we really only started to see eren’s supposed “interest” in her in season 4, and only in glimpses. There really isn’t a lot of material to fall back on. I always felt he saw her as more of a sister? Of course he’s shouted at her before that he wasn’t her little brother or something along that line, but I always felt he just saw her as family. The only thing I can think of from earlier seasons to support this pair is that time when eren first wrapped the scarf around her and he was blushing. I always saw that as more of like, he was kind of embarrassed to do something like that because for him the act was a bit intimate and they weren’t too familiar with each other, but I guess you could also see it as him blushing because he had a small crush on her. On top of this they lived together in the same house and grisha has referred to mikasa as his daughter, so I just found it a bit weird. Obviously they’re not actually siblings but they were kind of raised as brother and sister for some time, so. A bit weird from my perspective. What’s more is the dynamic itself doesn’t seem to be very healthy. But I’m not mad at people who ship them. That kind of romance is definitely possible, and they’re technically not related, so it’s whatever I guess. They were also very young still so in an ideal world I imagine their dynamic might’ve been able to change for the better as they matured. On the other hand armin and Annie I found even weirder. It just felt too sudden. I get that armin ate bertholdt so that could’ve contributed, and I get that Annie literally only had armin and hitch as company most of the time for literal years, but it’s still weird for me. Like good for them but I wish it could’ve been a bit more fleshed out.

7. I’ve said this before but I didn’t appreciate the parallels drawn between Erwin and Armin. They are entirely separate characters with entirely different motives. Connecting to what I said at point 1 armin was never able to “replace” erwin. Of course the same can be said for erwin, he was never going to be another armin. I feel the same way about the parallels drawn between Sasha and gabi. Again two entirely separate characters with entirely different motives. I can appreciate parallels but only if they’re written well. These just felt like forced propaganda.

There’s more but for now I’ll stop here cause this is getting a bit long and I’m really tired

#shingeki no kyojin #armin arlert #Erwin Smith #yelena #eren jaeger #connie springer #jean kirschtein #floch forster #levi ackerman #hange zoe #zeke jaeger #mikasa ackerman #grisha jaeger #dina fritz #tom ksaver #annie leonhart #sasha braus #gabi braun #bertholdt hoover

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aces-and-angels · 1 year

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final thoughts on the ilw finale: abel edition (ch 23 spoilers below) @itlivesproject

Took a break from my self-made quest to find every possible way ILW could hurt me (I know, sick), to play my main Abel route. What a breath of fresh air it is to not see every character you’ve grown attached to not die a gruesome death lol

My approach for the finale: With my main routes, I wanted to stay true to what the game was hinting to be Rowan’s greatest desire (what they see when they enter the Power realm with Loha). Most of my routes ended up with Ro yearning for the mundane, yet comforting, life of a human. I was only able to organically achieve a shadow ending with my fwb!Joss route, and a mixed route with Abel as an LI. After unlocking most of the ways his story comes to end, I am finally ready to share my thoughts.

my mixed route:

Patting myself on the back for my stellar report card. Sorry, Linc- I should’ve hung out with you more😭

Frankly, I’m surprised that the majority of my main routes weren’t mixed. Out of all the three forms Rowan can take by the end- I personally enjoy them refusing to merge with either of their halves and remain as they are.

“That’s the thing. Everyone keeps telling me I’m not complete, that I need to come together with this person or that in order to be whole, but I don’t think I agree. I love the Power. I love humanity, too. I love my friends, I love my past, I love Abel. And I don’t think I need to lose any of that in order to be whole.”

Rowan coming to accept their identity feels the most true to how I as a player view them. I met Ro not as their human form nor the tiny wisp that grew enamored with humanity long ago. I met Ro, someone perfectly in between. The best-of-both-worlds ending. My Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Supernatural fantasies are coming true lol

Anyways, enough about Ro’s greatest desires. Let’s talk about Abel’s:

Abel’s wish to separate his life from the Power is consistent throughout the various endings you can achieve with him (barring the betrayal route- which leaves him vengeful, hurt, and pissed). By the looks of the epilogue, the gang, minus Jocelyn, choose to move on from their ghost (or should I say horror lol) hunting days. I haven’t played through the other LIs routes, so I can’t speak on their dynamic with each version of Ro quite yet. But it is safe to assume that as long as Ro wasn’t a hoe, the LIs will love them regardless of Rowan’s final form. Truly, this is a breath of fresh air after playing all of Matty’s variants😭

Exploring Abel’s relationship with mixed!Rowan post-blood moon ritual, we are met with a pair who are not completely aligned with what they want in life. While Abel is ready to move on, Rowan is forever tethered to their connection to the Power and the lifestyle it comes with.

Rowan: “I... I can’t leave with you, Abel, not yet. Maybe not ever... I need to make sure people like Matthias don’t hurt it again... This is who I am, Abel, I think it always will be.”

The pair eventually settle on a compromise (as I imagine the other LIs will in their mixed!Ro endings). How long this set up works is ultimately up to the player to decide. Each of them are pursuing paths that leave the distance from Westchester to California between them. However, the potential for this distance to grow is likely, if not guaranteed. Abel’s passion for research/academia could take him far beyond the confines of California, especially as he advances in his career. Rowan will always go where the Power takes them.

For those who are familiar with Schitt’s Creek, it is entirely plausible that Abel and Rowan’s story could have an end akin to Ted x Alexis. Two people who grew together, love each other, realizing that they are moving in entirely different directions in life. Wanting the other to achieve all that they possibly can, they mutually decide to part ways.

If you play through a shadow!Ro end/Ro dies, you unlock this scene for Abel:

Abel: “Maybe it was asking too much, but I wanted that life with you. I wanted a family, something more than this. I didn’t want either of us to be lonely anymore... I think I would’ve wanted a house. I don’t know if you wanted kids, but I always did. I guess we could’ve negotiated on that, since I technically already raised three.”

Rowan and Abel having differing views on children wouldn’t be enough to drive them apart. Rowan’s inability to fully embrace that sort of ‘normalcy’ might. The life of hunting horrors leaves Ro pretty busy. We see this as they are unable to attend the memorial service with the rest of the gang because of yet another lead on a horror. And while Abel appears to have no qualms with their absence in the epilogue, them being unable to show up for the important moments over and over again could leave him feeling neglected. Their relationship is strong enough where I can imagine that they would be able to talk through these issues together. Still, it could prove to be challenging if they aren’t able to meet each other halfway.

To sum things up: you are free to interpret how Abel and Rowan’s story beyond what is shown in the mixed!route epilogue however you want. While I did spend the majority of this post conjuring up ways they could grow apart as a couple, I still find these scenarios to be beautiful when stripped down to its essence. Why? Because I think they capture the sentiment shared here:

Abel: “Being with you is what makes me happy.”

Rowan: “And you make me happy. But if we truly love each other, we won’t hold each other back.”

Abel, a man who has had to put his needs aside for the sake of his family, ending up with someone who lets him put himself first for a change? A chance to give Abel his best possible chance towards happiness- even if in the end it may not be with Ro. The way that no matter what happens, they will love each other to the very end. I couldn’t think of a better send-off for our favorite archaeology professor♥♥

Needless to say, I really enjoyed the mixed!route. Onto some other miscellaneous thoughts:

I may or may not do a whole thing for Connor x Devon, but in case I don’t: WE HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT FOLKS!! I needed to give Connor the happiest possible timeline in my main route- and seeing the two finally be able to build a life of their own was AMAZING someone hold me

Not to mention that their dirty thirty scene may have reminded me of a certain fic I made involving a sandwich (fdjkhfsd). Fortunately for them, they got to go all. the. way. But we been knew Connor x Devon were horndogs

Speaking of dirty thirty scenes- Abel’s will be living in my head rent free

Banter between a sarcastic!Rowan and Abel is always top tier

ABEL WITH GLASSES. I REPEAT, ABEL HAS GLASSES

my greatest dream was realized: I got to witness Ro give Abel food for a change 😭😭😭 (happy bday my sweet man); also not them going to the bakery so many times they get discounts

Abel x Joss besties confirmed- my heart is full

“I’ve got stories for all these you know.” brb sobbing

#ilw spoilers #it lives within #it lives in the woods #ilw #ilitw #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives anthology #it lives series #abel flint #abel x mc #playchoices #choices #happy finale weekend😎😎#im here to advocate for mixed route supremacy

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kk095 · 1 year

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Road Trip

*good evening everyone! Here's a new story of mine! I also have another story on deck that I should be posting in the near future. Hope you enjoy this one!*

I can’t believe the situation I’m in right now. My girlfriend and I were on a road trip heading to the mountains for a nice, quiet, relaxing trip. Now I’m in a hospital bed in who knows where with a concussion, had my spleen removed, and some bumps and scrapes, while my girlfriend is under a sheet in the hospital morgue. I’m still trying to process everything that’s happened in the past day or two, but I have a lot to get off my chest. But before I tell you how we got here, I want to tell you about my girlfriend. I want you guys to remember her the same way I did, and not by how she died.

Her name was Chloe. She was a few years younger than me. And for reference, I’m 26 and she was 24. Chloe was a cute Asian girl, whose dad is a Vietnamese immigrant, and mother is a Chinese immigrant. She had dark, pin straight, shoulder length hair, chocolate brown eyes, and had a short, petite build. She had a nasal septum piercing, a colorful tattoo sleeve on her left arm, and wore black lipstick a lot, which drove her uptight, traditional parents crazy. They always asked her why she couldn’t be like her older brother Michael who’s a successful programming manager for Microsoft out west in Seattle, which made her feel bad.

But Chloe differed from the rest of her immediate family. Compared to her family’s uptight, traditional ways, she was more open minded, laid back, and had a go with the flow type of demeanor about her. Her older brother Michael was very ambitious and goal oriented while Chloe wanted to pursue her passions and work to live, rather then live to work. She went to college for music, but ultimately dropped out in her 2nd semester, much to her family’s disapproval. Chloe was a bass player and loved focusing on writing music, playing with her bandmates, and worked only to provide money for her passion.

And that’s how her and I met, through work. We both worked at the same hotel together, just in different departments. I work as a maintenance supervisor, while she worked at the front desk. I remember the first time I met her. I was called up to the front desk to take a look at some dripping that came from a vent. I was able to get to the bottom of the issue real quick- it was just a clogged up condensate line in the HVAC vent (something that takes 5 minutes to fix, but most HVAC repair men will have the audacity to charge you $300 bucks for. But I digress!). After I cleared that up, I asked one of my buddies at the front desk who the hot new girl was, to which he told me “yeah, that’s Claire!”, which became a bit of an inside joke between Chloe and I later on.

I started spending more time at the front desk and BSing with her, and found out her an I had a lot in common. As I mentioned, she was a bass player, while I play guitar. It turned out we were both metal heads, she liked pokemon (even had Squirtle as part of her tattoo sleeve) and complemented my Lego collection- probably the only girl in the history of the universe to do so. After we got to know each other a bit, I got her number and asked her out. And let me tell ya, I was very nervous about that first date!

The first date was at this Mexican place she wanted to go to. We got a little tipsy off some margaritas and just talked for hours, eventually losing track of time. The manager of the restaurant actually tapped me on the shoulder and told me they were closing in 20 minutes. But that’s how it should be- 5 hours felt like 5 minutes with her, and I enjoyed it very much! That first date was two and a half years ago, and everything was great in the relationship department from there on.

I felt very content and happy with my relationship with Chloe, and bought a ring, planning to propose to her on this trip, under the guise of it just being a little weekend getaway.

The hotel we were staying at was about 6 and a half hours away, so it was a manageable distance. The two of us got ready that morning and got in some comfy clothes for the car ride. She was wearing her purple pullover hoodie, some black sweats, and her go-to black and white checkered Vans. Even though she was in those baggy, comfy clothes, she still looked cute as always.

I agreed to do the driving there. I was a little tired however! I had to stay at work late the night before because a pain in the ass guest absolutely trashed a room and we had to fix all sorts of stuff. Just an FYI before we continue- if you’re unhappy with your room assignment at a hotel, just leave a bad review or something. Don’t trash the room. Someone has to fix that!

Even though I was tired from my overtime the night before, I decided to do the driving in my car. At first, we were making good time. But around the trip’s halfway point, we started to hit some traffic on the interstate. Chloe and I decided to get off at the next exit and grab a bite to eat, hit the bathroom, and gas up, hoping traffic would dissipate in a little while. We ultimately grabbed breakfast at a small diner, hit the bathroom, and went to the gas station next door to refuel. While I was pumping gas, I was yawning and felt a little tired. Chloe looked up at me and said “hey babe, why don’t I do the driving? You had a long night, you deserve a nap.” She was always sweet like that, but I replied “oh it’s ok hun, I can make it there. I’ll just crash and burn tonight when we get to the room.” Chloe then hopped over from the passenger seat and over to the driver’s seat. “too late mister! Go take a nap!” She said playfully. I laughed a little and told her “hey, I appreciate it. But you don’t have to drive.” Chloe then said “just take a nap babe! I pinky promise I’ll get us there alive.” I ultimately capitulated and thought “yeah, ya know, a nap sounds good!”

After I finished gassing up and paying an arm and a leg, I hopped in the passenger seat, get under Chloe’s baby Yoda blanket, and reclined the seat back. Once we got back on the interstate, all it took was a little highway hypnosis to knock me out. The next thing I remember is totally different. I hear Chloe scream, I heard the brakes screech, and I was thrown forward a bit, waking me right up from my nap. A large 18 wheeler truck had cut us off while changing lanes. Chloe didn’t have much time to react, and she slammed into the back bumper of the truck at a high rate of speed. I felt the lap portion of the seatbelt tighten up over my belly, feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and pain over my abdomen. My head whipped around a bit, making me feel dizzy for a few seconds. Once I regained my mental faculties, I looked over at the passenger seat to see how Chloe was doing.

Chloe was crying hysterically, and had a few cuts and scrapes on her face. I grab her right hand and ask “hey hun, you ok? What happened?” Chloe continued crying hysterically and hyperventilating a bit. “its ok baby, calm down. It’s gonna be ok!” I tell her, trying to be reassuring. “the truck… it cut me off. I didn’t have time!” she cried out to me. “he didn’t signal! I didn’t know babe, I’m sorry!” she continued, tears streaming down her face. “chloe, hun, I’m not mad at you. Are you ok?” I tell her, squeezing her hand, trying to be reassuring. “my chest… my chest hit the steering wheel!” she cried and moaned. She went on to tell me her chest hit the steering wheel hard, then was thrown back half a second later when the airbag deployed. “I got ya baby girl. Does your chest hurt?” I asked her, concerned. “yes… it hurts when I breathe… something doesn’t feel right…” she cried out, shaking her head. “alright. I’m sure help is on the way. We’re gonna be ok. We’re gonna get through this, ok?” I tell her, making eye contact with her. She nodded at me a few times, still crying and hyperventilating.

We were pinned in my car and the doors wouldn’t open. Chloe was pulling on the door handle repeatedly while crying “I don’t wanna die in here.” I placed my hand over hers and told her “nobody’s dying Chloe. We’re gonna get out of this.” She held my hand tight and said “Kenny, I’m so scared….”

I could hear sirens off in the distance, but it appeared our accident created another traffic jam. Minutes went by and it didn’t sound like the sirens were getting any closer. I’m guessing the emergency vehicles had trouble getting through the traffic jam. Several more minutes went by, which felt like hours to the two of us. “is anybody coming for us?!” Chloe shouted. “they’re coming babe. Everything’s gonna be ok!” I tell her, trying to console her again.

Finally, we see a female police officer approach the vehicle on the driver’s side. Chloe taps on the window “HEY! HELP US!”, she shouted. The officer approached the vehicle and got on her radio “hey, I have 2 occupants in vehicle 1. Female restrained driver, male restrained passenger. Both awake and alert. Gonna need the jaws of life. Driver’s side door is crunched up.” “10-4, ambo and fire are almost there.” A male voice on the radio said in response. “see Chloe, they’re here. We’re gonna be ok.” I tell her, feeling a bit relieved help was beginning to arrive.

In the next couple of minutes, more and more emergency vehicles and personnel started to surround us. The fire department began setting up their equipment, and started the extraction process within a few minutes. A loud, mechanical crunching sound surrounded Chloe and I. I could barely hear myself think, but I still had a sense of relief since the first responders were there.

Finally, the door was ripped off, and a few medics ran over to Chloe and began tending to her. They placed a c collar on her, got her on a backboard, and brought her over to a nearby ambulance to begin examining her. A second set of medics did the exact same thing with me. While being pulled out of the vehicle, I could see the medics cutting off Chloe’s purple hoodie, placing EKG leads on her chest, setting up some IVs, and making more of a commotion over her than me. “Chloe?! You ok hun?!” I shouted over, to which I received no response. “hey buddy, stay calm for us. Your girlfriend is in good hands, alright?” a medic told me in a calm tone. They did the same thing with me. They took my shirt off and started setting up a wide range of equipment. “large bruise upper left quadrant. Vitals stable, but they may wanna take a look at that in the ED.” I overheard my medic say to their partner. They shined a pen light in my eye shortly after. “pupils are reactive, but slight delay. Might be a concussion. Let’s get him prepped for transport. The two of them are getting taken to County.” I overheard my medics say.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and the ambulance doors slammed shut, and I was on my way. The whole way over, all I could think about was Chloe. She was absolutely terrified, and I just wanted her to be ok. If there was anything serious going on, I would’ve rather it happened to me than her. I looked out the back windows of the ambulance and saw another ambulance right behind us- I knew it was hers. “Please… I hope she’s ok in there.” I thought to myself, watching her ambulance speed down the highway along with mine. I was a nervous wreck on Chloe’s behalf for the rest of the ambulance ride, but I was personally doing ok all things considered.

I remember the ambulance pulling into the hospital’s entrance and pulling towards an entry door. The ambulance came to a stop, and back doors popped open. I could see two sets of people wearing yellow trauma gowns, one group by my ambulance and the other group over near Chloe’s ambulance as it pulled in. “26 year old male, restrained passenger, high speed mvc. Upper left quadrant bruising with guarding and rigidity, possible concussion. Vitals stable. Set up an IV, only gave him a little NS. Refused pain meds.” My medic told my group of people in yellow trauma gowns. I heard a female voice say “thank you, get him to trauma one. The girl in trauma two. Let’s go everyone.”

I was wheeled into the hospital, brought into a trauma room, and moved onto a table. They sat me in an upright position on the table since I was relatively stable and began asking me questions. While I was being asked questions, I heard Chloe crying while being wheeled into the exam room right next to me. “female, 24, restrained driver high speed mvc. Patient is tachy, hypotensive, diminished breath sounds on the left side, muffled heart sounds. Started fluid resuscitation and gave pain meds.” A medic told the group of yellow gowned individuals in the next room. “alright. Transfer her on my count. One… two… THREE!” one of the doctors said, while the whole team moved her onto a table, underneath a large over head light. “chloe? Is that you?!” I shouted, trying to get her attention. “kenny?! It’s me! Is that you Kenny?!” I heard Chloe say. She was on the table in a c-collar and head stabilizer, stripped down to her black sports bra and matching underwear. Her complexion had faded a bit, becoming a few shades paler, and I could see some redness and bruising on her chest, probably from where her chest hit the steering wheel.

“Sir? Look at us, ok? We’ve got some questions for ya!” A nurse said to me. I paused for a second and looked back over, replying “yeah… yeah, of course.” The nurse was holding a clipboard, then asked me “ok! Do you have any drug allergies?” I replied “yeah, just penicillin. It gave hives this one time when I was a kid…” The nurse jotted some stuff down. “ok… do you have any prior medical history? Any history of surgeries?” she asked me. “oh no, nothing I can think of. Never had surgery either.” I replied. She jotted some more stuff down on her clip board, then continued her questions. “can you tell me where it hurts for me?” she continued. “my belly. Over where the seatbelt tightened up. I’m a little dizzy too, but that’s it.” I said to her. “ok, abdominal pain…” the nurse repeated back, thinking out loud. While that was going on, I heard a blood curdling yelp come from next door- a sound I never heard from Chloe before, and one that I’ll always remember. “chest tube’s in, vitals still dropping.” I heard a voice say in Chloe’s room. “what was that? Is she ok?!” I shouted, popping up a bit, trying to get a better view of the room Chloe was in. “whoa whoa whoa, sit back and relax mister. We have to focus on you.” Another nurse said, gently forcing me back into my previous position. I could hear Chloe cry next door. “please… I don’t wanna die…” I heard her cry out, practically begging the doctors and nurses in her room.

While the team in Chloe’s room was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, my team was doing things at a more relaxed pace. The nurses were setting up an ultrasound machine to take a look at what was going on in my belly from the seatbelt injury. While that was going on, I asked “is Chloe gonna be ok? Can someone tell me what’s going on?” One of the nurses replied “we’ll let you know a little later. We assure you, the best doctors in the hospital are taking care of her.” I didn’t have much of a response. They didn’t want to tell me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was very nervous about how she was doing. Everyone seemed more concerned about her than they did with me, so I knew it had to be something more serious.

I heard plenty of commotion next door over the next couple minutes. While that was going on, my ER team squirted cool, conductive ultrasound gel on my belly. An ultrasound wand was put on my belly and spread the gel around a bit. Then the wand was moved over the area that was bothering me most. I winced in pain, feeling a lot of tenderness while the wand was over the affected area. “splenic lac, but minimal blood loss. His vitals are stable, let’s get a surgical consult and see what they say about this.” One of my doctors said. Just after they said that, I heard “vitals still dropping. Get me an intubation tray! 7.0 ET and a laryngoscope!” At that point, I didn’t hear Chloe crying, moaning, or talking anymore. I looked over and saw Chloe asleep on the table while they were maneuvering a plastic breathing tube down her throat. “trachea might be deviated Cricoid pressure please.” A voice shouted. I saw one person place a few fingers on the front of my girl’s neck, while the breathing tube was finally placed properly. The tube was held in place with some tape, and a light blue ambu bag was attached. “Alrighty, breath sounds present.” One of the nurses next door said, with a stethoscope up against Chloe’s bare chest.

Suddenly, Chloe’s breathing tube became clogged up with a large amount of blood. The heart monitors started chirping and beeping loudly. “suction!” I heard a nurse shout. “no pulse, starting compressions!” another nurse said. One nurse was suctioning out Chloe’s breathing tube while another started delivered deep, violent chest compressions. Chloe’s petite, skinny chest caved in and her belly bounced out from the residual force of the compressions. Her head bobbed and lolled while they tried to suction out the blood from her breathing tube, creating a moving target. A liquidy, slurping sound was heard while the nurse pumped away at my baby girl’s chest. “oh god… come on Chloe…” I thought to myself while watching. “meds are in!” one nurse said after injecting something into Chloe’s IV.

Chloe’s breathing tube was cleared of blood and the ET tube was reattached. But I could see that her pearly white teeth were now stained red with blood. “charging to 250.” A doctor shouted, while an electrical whirring sound was heard. The defibrillator paddles were then pressed up against Chloe’s chest, and a shock was delivered. I watched in horror as my girlfriend’s body jolted so violently on the table next door. “no change, resuming compressions.” A nurse replied, who started pumping her chest a second later. The defib paddles were charged to 300 joules this time, pressed up against her chest, and the next shock was delivered. The same violent, thrashing motion was seen, but Chloe’s eyes opened slightly. But her eyes were completely dull and lifeless, staring up above at the ceiling. Her eyes remained open from then on out. When the resumed CPR, I saw her head bobbing again, with her eyes half open eyes blankly staring off. The next shock took place shortly after a cycle of chest compressions. This time, I saw her feet kick up on the other end of the table and slam back down. When her feet slammed back down, I could see all the deep, soft, silky, prominent wrinkles that permeated the soles of her tiny size 5 feet. I lucked out in that department- Chloe had pretty feet and could’ve made a gazillion dollars on only fans with her cute wrinkly soles if she ever wanted to.

After the third shock, I heard a doctor shout “ok. Get me a thoracotomy tray !” A what? A thoracotomy? What’s that? What’re they gonna do to my girl?!, I thought to myself, my mind beginning to race. Let me tell you, you definitely don’t want to see your girlfriend get a thoracotomy done on them. They made a big cut in her chest. It started at her sternum, they extended it across the left side of her chest, underneath her left nipple, and all the way out near her left armpit. They then cut apart the tissue and fat below her skin. Then they placed a big metal thing inside the cut, and started turning some knobs. I heard a loud cracking and popping sound, and saw her chest become more and more open. After turning those knobs a couple more times, I could see Chloe’s heart in plain sight. But it wasn’t beating, it looked more like it was kind of twitching or fidgeting. The doctors and nurses placed a few things in Chloe’s chest, and then I started to see blood come out of the big cut in her chest, which pooled on the right side of her chest and dripped down to her belly a little. “jesus… what a mess… suction please!” I heard a doctor say. I don’t know what they were looking at, but they didn’t like what they saw. I heard some commotion over the next minute or two, but I’m not sure what that they were doing. All I heard was something about internal compressions.

“Ok, charge the internal paddles to 20.” I heard the doctor say. I heard the same electric whirring sound as the defibrillator paddles, but these defibrillator paddles looked differed. They were these long, skinny things that looked kind of like a giant serving spoon. The placed the spoon part of the paddles around each side of Chloe’s twitching, fidgeting heart, and they delivered a shock. This shock sounded differed. It had a dull, wet, muffled type of sound. I saw Chloe’s torso twitch around in response. “no pulse, v-fib on the monitors.” I heard a voice say after that shock. The large spoon looking objects were recharged to a higher intensity, placed back into her exposed chest cavity, and another shock was delivered. I heard that same dull, wet ka-thunk like with the first one. On the other end of the table, I saw Chloe’s toes curl, showing of her fresh, jet black nail polish and her wrinkly soles that I droned on about earlier.

After I see them reach back into her chest and do who knows what, I’m interrupted by the surgeon who was summoned by my team earlier. The surgeon took a look at my ultrasound, and even though my spleen injury was relatively stable, the surgeon felt the best move was to remove it. The reason is that the injury could potentially get worse without treatment, and they’d have to remove it anyway at that point. I then agree to do surgery, they make me sign a paper, and I can hear my team making calls to the operating room in regards to my upcoming surgery. My team was injecting some stuff in my IV, going over my vital signs, and trying to coordinate with the operating room. After a few minutes of commotion, I’m finally able to look back over at Chloe and see what’s going on.

I heard another dull, wet, KATHUMP, followed by a droning high pitched sound. “that’s it, she’s gone. Time of death, 11:57am.” Wait, what?! Did I just hear what I thought I heard?! “hey, what happened?! Is Chloe ok?!” I shout to my ER team as they start wheeling me out of the ER room and over to an elevator. I start getting ready eyed, with a lump in my throat: “did Chloe die?!” I asked, almost pleading with the doctors and nurses to tell me something. I saw them look at each other, not sure of what to say. “we’re not sure, you’ll find out after your surgery.” I was told. I kept bugging my doctors and nurses to tell me anything they could, and they wouldn’t. Eventually, it was time for my surgery, and that was that.

I woke up several hours later in the room I’m in now. My belly with all sorts of stitches and staples in it- I could probably set off a metal detector with all these metal staples. I felt a little groggy, my mouth was dry, and I was terribly thirsty. I felt a little sore, but it was certainly tolerable. A little while after I awoke, a doctor came in my room. It was a familiar face- one of the yellow gowned individuals in Chloe’s room. “hey! You worked on Chloe! What happened?!” I asked anxiously. The woman sighed, looked down at the floor for a second and grabbed a seat in the room. “so Chloe was hurt very bad in that accident. She had a collapsed lung, and one of her ribs broke off and sliced into her heart…” they told me. “oh jeez. What happened after they took me away? Is she dead?!” I asked, teary eyed. The doctor paused, then said “these type of injuries are usually quite severe. This caused Chloe’s heart to stop beating. We did cpr, we opened her chest, and did everything we could, but her heart just wouldn’t restart for us. I’m sorry, but she passed away in our ER.” I was shocked. I was completely consumed with all sorts of emotions I never felt before, and hope I never feel again. I let out a wail, and began crying like a little baby. What was supposed to be the best day of my life turned into the worst day of my life. I was hoping to propose to Chloe, and now I find out she’s dead. I also began to feel guilty. “Why did I have to plan this stupid trip?!” “why couldn’t I drive the rest of the way?!” “we should’ve waited a little longer at the gas station!” were some of the thoughts consuming my mind.

I don’t know the end result of all this yet. I’m still gonna be in the hospital a few more days myself. I know the ER people reached out to both my family and Chloe’s family, but I have no clue when anyone’s gonna get here. Regardless of what’s to come, I’m glad you all listened and let me ramble a bit and talk this over. I hope you’re all having a much better day than me.

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zoetic-tome · 9 months

Text

A Return, An Ultimatum

Characters: Nathaniel, Simon (@thedarknesssings), Sebastian (@roses-and-grimoires), Rafael (@houserosaire), Aamir (@gorgagne-viperidae) Content Warning: Mention of suicidal thoughts.

Nathaniel stared down at his phone, his eyes reading the message once. And then again.

It was a warning. "Stay away from him. You're being watched. Try it again and we start tearing the pretty building blocks down. They'll all be dead, but you."

He could feel his hands tremble in the fine wrought anger that rippled through him. Others would have lost. He agreed to this world so that those who didn't deserve that loss would have at least the chance with those who they cared for. Rafael and Liam. Sebastian and Esra. To keep Marcel alive; his sire and his friend.

He could feel the heavy weight of Simon's signet ring on his finger, and felt the prick of something at the edges of his eyes. Tears? No. He wouldn't let them fall.

Something inside him snapped, breaking like a ships tether coming loose from its mooring. How much had they sacrificed? How far had they gone? Across a torn world where he was finally, for a brief moment, able to tell Simon how he felt.

Across an ocean to watch him sink into the deeps. Into space where he had to watch and learn of everyone else spending their love and passion alike on the man he had come to develop such deep feeling for. Who told him, painfully, that he wasn’t his type.

Who, at the very end, he ripped the throat from to try and buy them time to get the gem and make things right

He hated all they had been through no more in all of their travels that he did right now. Right at this moment. They had been promised their world. And this paradise was lacking in so many ways. But it gave others opportunities. It was supposed to give them to him, as well.

And yet here he was. Standing in front of a club he wanted nothing more than to storm back into, to confess to Simon and take his face in his hands and he could do nothing. And now, now, they were threatening him.

Stay away from Simon, or else.

His fingers tapped angrily at the keys, words unrestrained in their fury. He couldn't express all he wanted to in such a short message. Some part of him, deep and buried, churned violently. Alert and furious, though he didn't know where this deep anger swelled from.

"I have sacrificed enough. I will surrender nothing else, and if you think I will, you don't know me well enough to be issuing threats, ultimatums, or anything else."

But would he? Would he sacrifice nothing? What's worse, would he make the others give up what they had and what they wanted? No. They deserved their chances and their opportunities. And Simon... would they kill him to keep Nathaniel away from him?

Simon had approached him in the beginning. Opened the door for him to invite himself to his bedroom. That was all it was ever supposed to be, and he was the fool who let it become more. Had Simon ever even loved him? Or was this a selfish, one-sided feeling that he was in pursuit of?

He hurled his phone, watching it shatter against the side of the club, before he turned, striding on long footfalls towards his bookshop. He couldn't ask the others to make sacrifices just for him to pursue this one-sided love into the madness that it promised him. It wasn't fair.

He made it as far as the bookshop when Sebastian grabbed him up around the waist. He glared up at the other man, intent to try and grip his mind. To order him from the bookshop.

'Let me burn down all of my ambition by my own hand, alone. And let me burn out these feelings along with it so I can pray that I’m the only target.’ He willed. But he had trained Sebastian in his craft too well, and their minds were equal. His expression was bitter, as Sebastian asked him what had happened. What was he going to do.

He leaned up, and murmured into Sebastian's ear. In the vague hope that it would spur the other man into letting him go.

"Imagine if they told you that they would kill all of us unless you agreed to never see Esra again. What would you do? What would you give up to make certain there was no leverage over you?"

Wouldn’t he also want to grieve the thing that he was promised and was then ripped from his fingers? Hadn’t they chosen this very reality for them so that who he wants was still alive?

He knew that he had struck a blow when Sebastian let him go. He listened, with vague interest, to the back and forth between Aamir and Raf. The interjections. Aamir arguing that he should be able to burn down the bookshop if he wanted. Rafael saying that this was not paradise if it was so easily torn down.

He recalled, vaguely, asking for Sebastian's phone. And he typed out a message and sent it. And then immediately his hand hovered over the delete key, and he undid the message. Deleted it as if it had never been sent.

Paradise was never paradise if it was so easily torn asunder. If they had the power to kill them all, no matter what Nathaniel did or didn't do, then his actions were irrelevant. All of it was ultimately irrelevant. This was not the first time they had been faced with the unknown threatening them.

Was he willing to watch the entire world burn around him to get back to Simon? The Simon Frost of the past had known him. Had threatened to tear Aamir into pieces for hurting him. With no context. Why? Just a signet ring alone wouldn’t have been enough to make him believe he was that important.

This world's Nathaniel, had he endured the same experiences? Lived the same life? He had been the sole survivor of his coterie so far as he knew? (Before Aamir's survival had been realized, of course). Had he been through the hells that they had? Had he struggled with a feeling that he couldn't control, a love that he knew might end him?

Had he been willing to damn entire worlds for the mere chance to get home to someone who didn’t even seem to feel the same way about him? Laughter, unbidden, swelled up in Nathaniel’s chest, swallowed down as readily as everything else that he might have said.

In the end, he was quiet as he handed Sebastian back his phone. The fight in him gone. No, not gone. Merely as dead as the man himself. Vampires were an accepted class. His was no longer a species hidden in shadow, but proudly living their eternity.

The painful truth of his reality had become ridiculously simple to Nathaniel as they had hurtled across dimensions, time and space to get back to their home; eternity no longer mattered to him without Simon Frost. His gaze moved to his companions, and there was an apology in the shroud of his eyes.

His message to the individual threatening him had been a lie. A pretty, angry lie, but still a lie.

He would play along as needed. Get his coterie to relax their guards. He didn’t need much time at all to see what would happen. He would continue trying to either seek Simon, or make himself available for the elder to come to him. And if the answer he didn’t get was satisfactory if it became apparent that he really had lost all he had fought so hard for, unable to keep both his friends and his love?

He would prepare the ritual that he knew he needed, to ensure that he could awaken before his unbeating heart would allow him. Some wanted to see the sunrise as their final moments, perhaps. But not him.

Nathaniel wanted his last sight to be a sunset.

#[ Vampire the Masquerade ]#[ Tabletop Writing ]#[ Nathaniel ]#[ Lovesong for a Vampire ]

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