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gemwing2010 · 5 months

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In The Season of Love

A/N: Just a small early Christmas present for my good friend, @Nataliepthatsme. This small fanfic will be based off from a scene from The Swan Princess Christmas with a Cuphead twist. All of the characters from the Cuphead franchise belong to StudioMDHR while Audrey, Josh and Monica belong to Natty and the song, “Season of Love (the movie version)” is from The Swan Princess Christmas. If anyone wants to know how the song goes, try checking it up on YouTube. Hope you like it, Nat.

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It is Christmas on the Inkwell Isles and everyone is getting into the spirit.

While everyone is hustling and bustling to buy some gifts and some tasty foods for the big dinner on the most wonderful time of the year and decorating their homes to add in some extra festive sparkle, the residents of Inkwell have one special tradition that takes place before Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Every year, all of the good people of the Isles gather round the biggest and oldest pine tree in a peaceful little grove in the heart of the Inkwell Woods and decorate it with colourful lights, the dazzling tinsel and set the Christmas Star atop of it. Not only that, but they also place on handmade Christmas ornaments made based on the acts of good deeds and happiest memories the residents had made over the years. It was a charming Christmas tradition on all of Inkwell that had passed down from generations and years ago.

They call it “Ornament Day”.

And for Audrey and her husband, Josh, this wasn’t just their first Christmas on the Inkwell Isles but also their very first Ornament Day.

Over at certain cottage, an overly enthusiastic Elder Kettle swung the window open from his bedroom as he joyfully hollered: “IT’S ORNAMENT DAY!!”

This caught Cuphead and Mugman’s attention as they were in the middle of playing marbles, instantly stopping what they were doing in glee.

“Ornament Day?!” The brothers echoed.

Meanwhile, over at The Flytrap, the frog brothers, Ribby and Croaks were overjoyed as they were on stage and cheered out to their guests: “It’s Ornament Day, folks!”

Over at the Honeycomb Herald, Rumor Honeybottoms was just as overjoyed as she sighed, “Ornament Day… how I love it.”

All through town, the newspaper trucks zoomed by as the papermen tossed out the bundled piles of the latest issues of the Inkwell Blotter titled, “ORNAMENT DAY IS HERE!”

Over at the theatre, Audrey had just finished helped Sally Stageplay decorating the place for the holidays and for a special showcase that Sally and her work staff hold every year.

“Thank you so much for the help, Audrey dear.” Sally said as she and Audrey met up with her husband, who was holding out her coat. “It means so much to mean that we get the theatre into its most festive shape for the yearly Christmas Spectacular this year.”

“I’m always happy to help, Sally. You know that.” Audrey smiled. “So, what else were you going to tell me after that?”

“I thought you would like to know about a very special tradition we all hold every year on our dear Isles.” Sally explained as her husband helped her into her coat. “You know about Ol’ Noel?”

“Oh! You mean the oldest pine tree over at that grove in the woods?” Audrey asked. “Yeah, the boys showed her to Josh and me during our nature walk yesterday.”

It was true. It had snowed and Audrey had always loved it when there’s snow at Christmastime. Cuphead and Mugman had asked her and Josh to come for a hike in the woods with them through the snow and they led them into the grove where the tree that everyone affectionately named “Ol’ Noel”.

She was rested in the centre of a charming little grove that reminded Audrey of the one from the scene where Anna, Kristoff and Sven first met Olaf from Frozen, surrounded by frozen, glistening willow trees and a frozen lake suited for iceskating. It was so breathtakingly beautiful.

“Well, every year, everyone gathers over at Ol’ Noel’s to make her just as dazzling but we also present her special ornaments that the good people have made in memory of our past good deeds and all the special moments we have together.” Sally explained. “It takes place before Christmas Eve. We call it ‘Ornament Day’.”

“That sounds like a cute tradition.” Audrey commented with a smile.

“Indeed, and for us, it is just as valued as Christmas itself.”

And what is a good old Christmas special than a festive and catchy Christmas song that can warm every heart?

Sally: 🎶 Bells ring!

Her husband: 🎶 Heart sing!

They both take Audrey by the hands and lead her out of the theatre, leading her through town to show her the festivities of the people getting ready for the occasion as they sang themselves.

Townspeople: 🎶Come see what love brings!

Over at the bakery, Saltbaker is happily decorated some shortbread cookies after he got them out of the oven.

Saltbaker: 🎶 Pictures tell a story of two hearts full of love They’re sharing a memory of caring and tender rejoicing

After he had finished adding the finishing touches, he walked over to the window to show off the cookies to Audrey, Sally and her husband, offering some.

Meanwhile, over at the tailors, a grandfatherly human toon is happily making some Christmas stockings quickly, piling them up (cartoon logic).

Tailor: 🎶 It’s the season of love that comes at Christmastime!

Audrey turns to see the residents happily showing her their Christmas ornaments. Even some pets and inanimate objects that suddenly sprung to live (again, cartoon logic) were holding some ornaments.

Eddy Elephant: 🎶 We live it

Grandma Ellie Elephant: 🎶 Love it

Little Toon Rabbit Girl: 🎶 Beg it to come

Townspeople: 🎶 And want it to stay

Sally: 🎶 To have the season each day

Everyone: 🎶 It’s the season of love

Over at the jeweller’s, an elderly toon dog named Mr. Rover was asking the local jeweller clerk to help spruce up his old Christmas ornament.

Mr. Rover: 🎶 Lulu’s lost her lustre Will you help make her shine?

The jeweller was happy to help as he added in a gemstone onto the ornament. Just as Mr. Rover paid him, the jeweller generously and secretly placed the coin inside his back pocket.

Jeweller: 🎶 A jewel in this spot… And your coin in your pocket for Christmas

Audrey watches on as everyone is helping one another about. Even the Root Pack were on their best behaviour as they helped hurl some carts of goods into a loading truck.

Everyone: 🎶 It’s the kind acts of love That makes a Christmas shine We’re lighter, brighter Wiser by far

Out in town, Saltbaker and the tailor were passing the cookies and stallings to everyone, especially the children.

Tailor: 🎶 Because we follow that star

Saltbaker: 🎶 Because we find who we are

Audrey: 🎶 In the season of love

Later on, by sunset, everyone on the Isles gathered over at the grove in the Inkwell Woods and began t decorate Ol’ Noel, getting into the spirit of Christmas. Even Josh and Monica the fairy have arrived with Audrey.

Everyone: 🎶 Bells are rung Carols sung It’s begun Our glad Christmastime!

As everyone was preparing to get out the ornaments, Josh carefully reaches into a small box Mugman was hold up, pulling out a Christmas ornament he had made. With Monica and the Cups’ help of course.

As Josh happily gives it to her, Audrey was touched to see it was a light rosy pink glass bauble with figurines of Josh and herself in their wedding outfits inside. With Monica’s magic, the figures were actually dancing inside the bauble just like Prince Derek and Princess Odette from The Swan Princess.

Josh: 🎶 But when I give a gift from my heart

Audrey: 🎶 Then Christmas has finally arrived!

Waving her magic wand, Monica casted a spell to weave the Christmas lights and tinsel around the tree, leaving the everyone else to see to placing the ornaments on it.

Everyone: 🎶 There’s a magic that takes the fear out of living When you have it, there’s peace in your heart That’s what it does There’s a magic that’s found when you’re giving

As everyone placed the ornaments on each branch, they actually lit up and magical sparkles flow around them. It was not cartoon logic, but pure magic. The spirit of Christmas. Even Audrey and Josh were awed when their ornament did the exact same thing the moment they hung it.

🎶 There’s a magic that takes the fear out of living When you have it, there’s peace in your heart That’s what it does There’s a magic that’s found when you’re giving

Ms. Chalice was in her ghost form as she carried the Christmas Star and placed it atop of the tree. She returns to the ground and turned back to normal, revealing she is wearing an elegant light teal winter coat with white (fake of course) fur trimming, white earmuffs, orange gloves and orange winter boots.

Chalice, pulls Cuphead and Mugman into a hug as they, Audrey, Josh, Monica and Elder Kettle admired the beauty of the decorative tree.

🎶 And it’s here In the season of love

Working her magic, Monica casted a spell to turn on Ol’ Noel’s lights as making all of the willow trees in the grove light up in brilliant hues of blue and lilac, much to the awe of the residents as they cheered.

“Ohhhh! This is new!” Cuphead beamed.

“It’s beautiful!” Mugman sniffled happily.

“You can say that again, fellas.” Chalice chimed in.

“Works every time.” Monica said with a wink.

Admiring the beautiful lights, Audrey and Josh hugged each other.

“I think this will be the best Christmas ever.” Audrey commented.

“But it’s even better when I’m with the woman I love and married.” Josh smiled as he gently stroked her cheek, making her blush.

“Aww, you!” Audrey teased.

Just then, a mistletoe tied with a ribbon suddenly appears above them courtesy of Monica’s magic. Surprised at first, the couple looked at each other and smiled. And, just like from The Swan Princess, they kissed each other with Josh gently placing his hand at the back of Audrey’s head while she set her hand over his shoulder.

As they pulled away, gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Audie.” Josh sighed.

“Merry Christmas, Josh.” Audrey replied lovingly.

As she, her husband and all of the amazing friends they had made during their adventures on the Inkwell Isles, Audrey knew that this was truly going to be her most interesting and best Christmas for years to come.

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May you have a very merry and magical Christmas, Happy New Year and may your dreams shine. ✨

❄️🎄🎁

#Cuphead game #The Cuphead Show #Cuphead #Mugman #Ms. Chalice #Elder Kettle #Renew the Cuphead Show #A gift for a friend #OC #friends’ ocs #cuphead fanfiction #Merry Christmas

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almightytrashcan · 1 year

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TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

thank you @loveisalwaystheanswer hehe

disclaimer: lots of anime recs here HAHAHA im a weeb. also idk how else to describe stuff sometimes HJDSFKJSDHKF it's just different iterations of "wow im floored. watch it." or "this fundamentally changed me as a person."

Code Geass - Brings back memories of senior year in high school where I binged all 25 episodes of the first season during finals week, then binged all 25 episodes of the second season the next week. Season 1 was eh but it was building up for the actual bone-deep pain of Season 2. The Zero Requiem finale still hits man, it's such a perfect way to end the series. Why are mecha animes so steeped in heavy politics. Good for them! Also the Pizza Hut placements were great (we love you Cheese-kun).

Mob Psycho 100 - AMAZING ANIMATION. AMAZING STORYTELLING. WHOLESOME HIGH SCHOOLERS GOING THROUGH THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF LIFE WHILE ALSO HAVING THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC ABILITIES. Genuinely feel-good, so many inspirational quotes in here. Made me cry on some occasions because I didn't expect to hear the words I needed to hear from a shounen anime of all things. Also Reigen is babygirl for a REASON.

Peaky Blinders - Where do I start. I like period dramas, and the premise intrigued me. Season 1 is so damaging to me in so many ways like I don't think any other show could get as perfect as those six episodes AAAAA IM SO ATTACHED TO IT. The whole cast are phenomenal and they really carried the show, and the song features are so good too. Also Cillian Murphy is so hot goddamn.

The Promised Neverland - DO NOT WATCH THE SECOND SEASON. Anyway. I read the manga so I know how the rest of the plot goes, but Season 1 is such an amazing display of psychological horror. The visceral fear of realizing Isabella is always one step ahead of the kids, and just generally trying outpace her while acting like everything's normal. Wow.

Attack on Titan - lol. I don't really care much about the new series anymore, but back in 2013 this was the first anime I properly watched (and the rest of the world had its dick and balls gripped by the Salute™ and the Wings of Freedom™ too). I guess I was pretty fucked up as a kid for thinking I had the balls to join the Survey Corps and could live to tell the tale. Formative anime of all time actually.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - A childhood classic. What else do I say, it's just perfect. Amazing. Fantastic. Spectacular. I have official books of that franchise: all four of The Lost Scrolls, one of the Journey Through The Earth Kingdom books, and the Tales of Zuko book. It's just so dear and close to my heart, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Adventure Time - Another childhood classic. I think I watched every episode up until the first few episodes of Season 5, then I just stopped caring SHDFJSJKFH. BUT. But, it's also still very meaningful to me, it's an amazing combination of fun but also unintentionally dark. I should pick up on it again when I have the time, honestly.

Bungou Stray Dogs - I haven't touched anything related to this anime since 2019 but this is really that one show that shaped me for a long while, mostly because I met my internet friends because of this show, and my first few days on Twitter was dedicated to being a BSD fan. The whole concept too of characters based off famous classic authors with abilities names after their most famous works is really a banger, it made me a reader again.

i dont really have anyone to tag so if you see this on your dash feel free to do it!

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frightfurtabby · 3 years

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Himikiyo Week 2021 Day 5: Anniversary Party

// Cute and fluffy, make-up smearing kissies, slow dancing, and awards... enjoy~

Word count: 1434

Links

AO3- https://archiveofourown.org/works/34196977

Amino- (coming soon)

I need to catch up on cross-posting to amino so I’ll be doing that too.

The anniversary party was an important occasion. All actors from the danganronpa franchise were coming together for this event. 10 years ago was the release of the first series starring Makoto Naegi as the protagonist, since then there have been 3 further series and a spin off that took place between the first 2, though it had aired afterward. And they were all gathered together.

There were already plans for another spin-off that was summer camp themed and would be finished later the next year. It was really big but sometimes there were years of waiting between new productions and that led to a lot being covered by tabloids and other media outlets. Korekiyo moved up to a small town in Aomori prefecture with Himiko to stay as quiet as possible, keeping in contact with certain people from among their castmates.

The couple were sitting together in a backstage private dressing room once again, Himiko taking time to brush Kiyo’s hair. Most of their outfits were already in place, a puffy purple dress for Himiko, her matching magic hat sat on the table in front of them.It was so pretty and only a little bit difficult to move around in at first before she was getting used to it. The anniversary celebrations included a dance in the ballroom and awards for the newest batch of fan popularity polls.

“Babe are you sure you want to go for that hat, I don’t know if it fits with the rest of what you’ve got going on.”

Kiyo was wearing a white button-up long sleeved blouse with a burgundy vest, a green coat over both and a long black skirt. Near Himiko’s hat was their own for this occasion, a black fedora which was what she was referring to in her comments..

“I personally think it looks nice.” Kiyo gave an exaggerated pout.

Touching up both their make-up was all the couple needed before they got to head out to the event proper. Kiyo hadn’t decided on lipstick before they had to go to avoid running late. They could do without that but not without eating, which they had to finish on the way out.

When she was finished brushing she helped gather their locks together and band it to make a ponytail.

She chuckled. “Of course you do, well since you insist. Here, have this one, I think this color will compliment everything nicely. Now come closer!” She grabs a nice dark blood red shade. Kiyo had used it plenty of times, including the year they dressed up as a vampire for Halloween, so it was a classic go-to.

Kiyo leaned in like she asked. Puckering their lips out to give her a more complete canvas for her to work with. However, before Himiko touched the tip of the lipstick onto their lips, Kiyo stopped for a moment.

“I wouldn’t want to smudge this so soon, so please give me a kiss?”

Himiko giggled. “Alright, okay. But first…” Her free hand extended and her pointer finger booped them right on the nose.

The former Ultimate Anthropologist feigned shock. “What did I deserve that for?”

“For being cute, ya silly goose.”

They were gearing up for a follow up joke but they were pulled in by the collar and smooched. They leaned into and savored it. Even if it did ruin the set-up, it was fine. Any time was a lovely time to smooch Himiko.

“Okay, now we can do it.” she chirped.

Kiyo re-assumed the proper position and reached out, gently caressing Himiko’s cheek. A deep look into her eyes. “Alright, go ahead.”

She reached up to hold them still with one hand and eased the lipstick close. Drawing it, focused as close as she can on the precision. Even though they had just kissed, she was tempted to ruin it again.

So she did.

They giggled as soon as she let them go. “God I’m so lucky wearing a mask is my trademark. I’m sure people would have a field day if they actually saw how smudged you always end up making this.”

“Yeah well, I’m lucky to have you.” She said, making cute faces in their direction.

Kiyo pulled their mask up and put the fedora on, taking Himiko’s hand as a way to get up out of the chair.

They turned and exited the door. Upon entering the hallway they met up with Shuichi and Rantaro, spending time catching up. Talking about how the cats were doing, how busy it was lately, more recent gigs they’d lent their talents to, that kind of thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon entering the ballroom, the couple noticed there were danganronpa themed decorations all over. A big banned reading “Happy 10th Anniversary'' went along the rafters. It was certainly doing its job of seeming like a mix between prom and a high school reunion.

At least this one was full of people both of them liked better than most people who’d been at either of their actual proms from back in the day. Even with personal problems here and there it was still more tolerable than that.

A slow waltz tune echoes around the ballroom. All the couples were paired up, most having stuck together pretty much the whole time up to this point regardless, but the Junko was making a big deal up on stage about how “If you’re not already, couple up and dance!”

Kiyo’s hand was around the back of Himiko’s head. They took time to pet her and look into her eyes as they performed slowly just like they had practiced. It felt nice and warm. Both could close their eyes for a bit and had a good amount of space to nuzzle up.

“I love you dear.”

“I love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few dance tracks later, Junko Enoshima got up and did a little bit of MC’ing. “And now everyone, having a good time? Well, it’s time to announce the first batch of winners from the polls! And here to read those names is someone we all know and love. The mysterious…”

She started getting a head count of all the danganronpa alumni, dragging it on for comedic effect. “The mysterious 40-somethingth student that was lying hidden somewhere in this very building… Mukuro Ikusaba!”

The crowd of students clapped, Himiko and Kiyo included. As Mukuro took time to further introduce the concept, showing off the envelopes for good measure, the lovers had a small conversation.

“Do you think we’ll win anything this year?”

“I hope we do. I’m not sure though, since competition is very stiff in all categories.”

“It’d be really cute if we won the couples one” she smiled, holding their arm close. “We may not have won it yet, but there's always a chance.”

“I’ve seen a little bit of buzz online telling fans to vote for us. So we might pull it off.”

It came time, the third category: the cutest off-screen couple. The options were always more open, as there were very few canonical on-screen romances in the show. Mukuro cut open this envelope, like she had done the previous two.

The MC cleared her throat. “Ahem. The winners are… Shinguuji Korekiyo and Yumeno Himiko”

The V3 cast members hooted and hollered. The other 2 main series had just picked up 1 win each and usually SDR2 would sweep these anniversary award contests. Picking up a surprise win would hopefully be a sign.

Escorted by several classmates like they just scored the winning points in a sport together, Himiko and Kiyo went up, and had to make up a speech off the cuff. That’s how much of a last second blindside actually pulling it off was.

Himiko took her spot close to Kiyo’s side and they both stood in front of the mic. Kiyo gently taps it and clears their throat.

“Thank you all, I’m… surprised. I thought for sure it would be another year of us being passed up.” they said

She added “The fans really pulled through!” She raised her award and held it up to clink it with Kiyo’s. “I’m not sure what else to even say.”

“We are grateful for the nomination, and thank everyone who cast a vote.” Asked if they had anything more to say, Kiyo finished with “As difficult as some fans can be, it's always good to feel appreciated.”

Everyone went back down, further winners were to be announced. Neither cared much, but would support friends who could get it. For now all they wanted was to cuddle up together on the bleachers. The rest of the night was for relaxing.

#himikiyo #himikiyo week #himikko yumeno #korekiyo shinguji #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #fanfic #writing

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time-to-write-and-suffer · 3 years

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The soul stone war is a game that I've seen before and its on my list. Was wondering if you coudl tell more about how you feel about it, especially the villain romance if you chose that one.

Uuh, sure. I'll do it in a bullet list cuz it's been a while since I've played it and I can't really be bothered to put a whole coherent post together.

I should also encourage you to read some reviews on the Steam store page. They basically repeat a lot of the points I'm about to make.

The main character is a useless waif. Like, even if you pass the skill checks, there are multiple instances where you're forced to pass out, be injured, kidnapped, or otherwise victimized. They're so helpless and out of their element that it becomes hard to believe any of the much more capable and skilled people around them would ever find them compelling or interesting and consider them anything more than a burden. Yet you’re somehow also the most important person in the whole squad, and they keep protecting and helping you no matter how you treat them. Because hey, that’s the protagonist!

On that note, the romances are dull as hell. All characters are vaguely nice and friendly, some are just more snarky/broody than others. You can "friendmance" people, which is a good concept in theory, but in practice it involves your character being unaware of their own emotions. It further adds to how incapable and clueless they seem. Plus, it never becomes clear why any of the ROs would be romantically interested in the protagonist, especially when they have established connections with other people on the squad already. You’re playing a rando who just shows up one day, bumbles about uselessly, but then becomes the most important person ever to them. Sure.

The plot is filled with contrivances. The main one being that the main character is involved in it at all. They're basically forced into it despite showing no particular skills or talents, and the only excuse we ever get for them sticking around is ... uh ... the big-booby elf lady said they were cute. The author simply didn't bother coming up with a better reason for them to be involved, knowing that there would be one eventually that would justify it in the end, but giving us nothing to work with in the moment, no personal reason and no agency. It feels very cheap.

The world and worldbuilding are basically the most generic fantasy thing you can imagine. The author even answered some questions on their Tumblr about the political structure of the land as "You know Skyrim? Like that." Elements and character dynamics and even minor phrases and words are lifted wholesale from franchises like Dragon Age and The Elder Scrolls. One of the first things your character can say is a reference to Dragon Age, but it's never brought up again and we never get an explanation for what it means in this universe or why the character would say it. One of the first lines in your "own" unique world shouldn't be a tee hee cutesy reference to some other well-established universe.

The tone is all over the place. One moment you're joking around about something the big-boobied blond elf said, the next your character is being tortured by some werewolf woman or some god-entity, and there’s nothing they can do to escape, so you just sit there and have to endure all this torture porn. And then it’s right back to the repetitive jokes and snarky narration.

I’m serious about the torture porn. One of the MC’s backgrounds includes their transgender friend being murdered for being trans. Another includes your character almost getting sexually assaulted. The third involves your younger brother dying. There’s no reason for any of this to be included other than to show how dark and edgy this world is and how your character is running from their past or whatever.

Speaking of dark and edgy, the villain gets a lot of screen time, and it’s mostly him brooding about how evil he is while the narration creams itself over how hot he is, also. But the author acts surprised over how he’s the most popular character in the fandom, and deflects most criticisms for his route as “it’s self-indulgent” and “it’s a secret route just for me, I didn’t think anyone else would play it.” Bro why’d you put it there, then? With instructions in-game on how to reach it?

The writing is genuinely some of the worst I’ve read. I hate to use this word unironically, but it was cringeworthy at times. It’s supposed to be this epic fantasy, but most of the time it feels like it’s chasing the high of a found family in a video game squad, without actually knowing what makes those particular tropes work. It’s simplistic and extremely repetitive, relying more on character tropes and “tumblr meme” interactions than genuine character building and conflict. It also tries and mostly fails to be funny, but that’s more subjective, I guess. Take a shot every time the text goes “thank you very much!” and you’ll be out in a few clicks.

Pacing whomst? Everything happens in the span of like a week or a month, but suddenly your character and their RO are like, in love and all weepy about it? Oh no I almost lost you my dear darling baby, let me tearfully declare how important you are to me. Nevermind the fact that we met four days ago.

The villainmance is the only vaguely interesting thing in the story and it's pretty evident it's the author's favorite thing to write. They've said how it's just a "self-indulgent" thing that wasn't supposed to be popular (I do not believe a word of this), but it's by far the most interesting thing just based on the fact that it's not only the most plot-relevant romance, but it's also the one with the most stakes and drama and the most varied dynamics. There’s genuine, justified angst and emotion in the concept of it at times that is missing from literally every other interaction and grimdark moment.

That being said, I wouldn’t say the villainmance is healthy, so don’t go into it looking for that. The dynamics are way off-balance and a lot of the route in the first game is your character being attracted to the man who’s torturing them and wanting to be tortured again just to interact with him. If you’re into that, then you might be into this story, but if you’re not then you’ll be put off by it.

The Asian-coded character has a "yellow" skintone and is a half-dragon.

The reason there's transphobia in this world and the player can't be trans is is because the "gods" of this world don't want any mortals to have the ability to "change their gender" because that would make them too similar to the gods. However, nonbinary characters are fine, and you can play as one. Because as we all know, binary trans people are just out there "changing their gender" all willy nilly. That's how that works, right? While nonbinary characters are always born nonbinary and nobody assigns genders to their children in this world? Idk how any of this makes any sense but go off, I guess. This isn't in the actual game AFAIK but something I read on the author's Tumblr, so take it as you will. The actual transphobia is in the game, though. Because reasons.

Overall, it’s a lot of half-baked concepts, unfunny writing, and needless torture porn for the sake of torture porn. Plus it’s not even a whole story, it’s just the first part of a series/trilogy? Maybe it’ll get better as it goes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath tbh.

#eff plays

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improvidus · 3 years

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Fanfiction Year in Review

Many thanks to the incomparable @impossiblepluto for the tag!!!

Total number of completed stories: 16

Total word count: Posted? 46,195. Add my half-finished works? Closer to 65K.

Fandoms written in: MacGyver, NCIS: New Orleans, The Martian, Bourne Franchise, Jack Ryan (TV), The Border Trilogy, Friday Night Lights (2004), Gotham

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Kind of more and less, actually. I had several long fics I was hoping to complete, but didn’t manage to, so less. But when I look at my word count, and the stories I’ve completed...I have written more this year than in my whole life combined. And while that’s kinda sad, it’s really heckin’ satisfying, too.

I started out the year expecting to be writing a ton of Jack Ryan fanfic, but I’ve only done one. All the other fandoms I’ve written in are ones I met this year, so it was kind of all a surprise.

What’s your own favourite story of the year: Um...Hm. I was having a blast with That Darn Cat (Gotham) before I lost my momentum. I was pounding out chapters faster than I knew I was capable for a hot second, there. But my favorite favorite is probably The Overstretched Arms of Our Spoiled Hopes (The Border Trilogy/All the Pretty Horses). I don’t usually write fix-its, but the end of The Border Trilogy kind of ripped my soul out in a way that was all bitter and no sweet and I...I wrote a fix it fic. And it was surprisingly therapeutic. I get it now, guys.

Did you take any writing risks this year: Yeah...Aforementioned fix-it was written for a Cormac McCarthy series, and I tried to emulate his style. I wasn’t super successful, but I was mostly satisfied with the result. I’d never tried to write in someone else’s voice before, and it was really interesting.

Also, fics like My Darkest Hour (MacGyver) and Sonho Dourado (Friday Night Lights) are scary for me to post because when I share fics with lots of angst/feelings in general, I somehow always feel like I’m just...laying my own feelings out there for the world to see. Like I’m baring my soul? Like the characters vulnerabilities are my vulnerabilities. Which is silly, but...it’s still low-key terrifying for me.

I, His Isthmus (Jack Ryan) was the first time I’d written anything even slightly romantic is a really long time, let alone kind of a will they/won’t they vibe. So that was new. And scary. Wayyy outside my comfort zone of bromance and found family.

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year? In theory? Heck yes. I have a Bourne fic that I’m super fond of and excited to write, it’s just eluded me thus far. And a couple novel-length fics I’ve had brewing for a while, now. Plus as many oneshots and short stories as I can pump out.

In reality? I’ll be satisfied if I get one of the long stories out and how ever many more short stories. If I set the bar low, maybe I’ll hurdle it??

Most popular story of the year: Panic! At The Day Show (The Martian) and My Darkest Hour (MacGyver) are kind of tied. The response to those was really encouraging, actually, because both involve a ton of angst + flashbacks/panic attacks, which was again, really intimidating for me to post. So, thanks, guys. :)

My most under appreciated story, in my opinion: I guess Sonho Dourado? I literally think one person has read it, and it’s because I asked her to beta. But I was expecting that going in and I mostly just wrote it for me, so that’s okay. :)

Most fun story to write: The One About Naps (NCIS: NOLA), Panic! At The Day Show (The Martian), and That Darn Cat (Gotham). Faithful Friends, Who Are Dear to Us (MacGyver) was a gift, so it gave me secret Santa vibes while I wrote, and that plus Mac & Jack & Bozer made it a blast.

Biggest disappointment: Probably that I didn’t finish the Bourne fic I mentioned earlier, along with a NOLA case fic I have cooking but have lost steam on.

Biggest surprise: Heh. The MacGyver fandom. I stuck a toe into the shallow end because a bestie loved it, and then I took a cautious step forward and tripped into the deep end. T’was not intentional. It just...happened. And then even when it did, I was like, “I’ll just write that one short idea...” And my dudes? I think I’ve written one story a week since then. The MacGyver train straight-up bowled me over and I couldn’t be happier about it. :)))

I’m tagging anyone who wants to participate! :) Happy New Year, y’all! A toast to all the stories of last year and all the ones to come.

#fanfic year in review #fanfiction #fanfic #am writing #writing community

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maltedroses · 4 years

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Happy Anniversary Dear, f overhaul x f reader

Chisaki, one of the most dangerous high profile criminals who was still roaming free. The soon to be queen of the criminal world. A slim curvaceous woman with piercing golden eyes that were as cold as they were beautiful, and your wife.

So what happens when your anniversary surprise is ruined.

Chisaki was never a high maintenance woman, well that was a lie considering how she frequently demanded the place to be spotless.

“Dirt and grime will build up if we don’t keep this place clean, do you know how gross that is? Makes me sick”

But other than that, she didn’t demand much, a simple woman really who would only occasionally indulge in lavish

or to pamper her wife. So it wouldn’t be hard to surprise her on your anniversary right?

No. In fact it was disastrous. First you accidentally added salt instead of sugar to the dessert you spent hours making which led to you crying and while you were busy wallowing in the sadness of your mistake the meal you had in the oven burnt.

Great, I ruined dinner, the kitchen is a mess, I don’t have time to clean the whole place and make a whole new meal, and Chisaki is going to be home soon.

You sigh, throwing the food into the bin so much for that.

“Fuck, what am I going to do? I practically ruined my anniversary, my wife’s going to be here soon tired and this mess is only going to make her more frustrated if the damn expandables didn’t already eat up all her patience at work” you put all the dishes in the dishwasher remembering to wash them later. “I didn’t want it to come to this but desperate times call for desperate measures I just hope she doesn’t notice” you take a deep breath before dialing a number on your phone

“Um, hello? Is this [redacted big name Italian restaurant franchise]”

“My work here is done” you look at the candlelit setup, the satin white table cloth without a single crease, a bottle of wine sat in a tub of ice at the center of the table surrounded by rose petals “Everything is perfect the only thing missing now is me” you look at the time 10 minutes.

It should be enough time to let you shower and get dressed, you rush over to the bathroom and get in not caring about whatever setting the water was on, taking a quick shower. You rushed out not even fully dry quickly dressing, brushing your hair as you strapped the buckles of your dress.

“You know that’s a fire hazard, leaving candles unattended”

You swiftly look over your shoulder and see your wife. “Chisaki, you’re home early” you stand before your mob boss wife.

"I am?" She hums removing her gloves, her soft hands reaching towards yours, intertwining your fingers together lowering her head. "I guess I am, considering what day it is today" she softly kisses your hand before she presents you a velvet box "happy anniversary dear"

"Oh Chisaki, you didn't have to" you gush not even opening the box.

"Just open it, I promise you'll like it"

You open the box and start to cry, it was a dark wood collage picture frame. The pictures were organized in chronological order, from when you two first meet in the first year of high school, small dates and special occasions in between, to the day she proposed to you in front of the flower garden where you two technically had your first date.

“Chisaki… this is so beautiful thank you” she patted your shoulder nuzzling her head against yours. “I know I'm not around as much ever since I became head boss and every time we do spend time together I felt that I tried to make up for my absence by buying you things so I decided to get you something more sentimental and personal.”

You kissed her cheek “I got you something too” giggling while your hand caressed her thigh “although I think it's better if I give it to you after dinner~”

“Oh really? I was thinking about having it for dessert instead” she smirked, holsting you onto her lap, hand resting on your lower back and making its way to your ass giving it a firm squeeze. "I could just eat you up right now~” pressing her soft lips against yours. “ You outdid yourself from the looks of the table, we wouldn't want your hard work to go cold” she pouted.

“Oh right the food, yep nothing but the best for my wife” you lied between your teeth, fuck am I really giving my wife take out and passing it as my own? Is the love of my life really worth takeout to me, and on our anniversary of all days?

“_, are you coming?” Chisaki looked down at you with a mildly concerned look on her face “you look distracted, is everything ok?”

“Oh uh yeah all is fine I was just thinking about how lucky i am to have you”

“You're so starstruck, what are you in, highschool?” she jokingly jabbed.

“Me? You're the one who almost passed out trying to ask me out on a date back when we first meet” you headed over to the table taking your wife by the hand.

“I was nervous, besides the whole having feelings for someone else was new for me. I hated you for a while for making me feel weak, now I'm just glad to have met you”

“You're such a sap, I love you.”

The bottle of wine had long been gone, the two of you looked at each other with a loving gaze while feeding one another strawberries and other things.

"Let me get that for you" she pulls you into a kiss “hehe you had whipped cream on the side of your face~” her face was tinted pink and sounded a little slurred she was tipsy, not drunk, you both were and the night had barely begun.

“I know it’s a little late but if you don't mind I still have to give you your present” you teasingly lifted your dress a little slightly showing more thigh than before.

“Oh~ I like where this is going, just not on the table we eat here” she got up slowly stripping and making a makeshift trail of her clothes.

“Oh baby I’ll be eating you in a moment” giggling at your own joke. By the time you arrived at your shared bedroom, she was only in her panties and lace stockings.

Damn, she’s so beautiful.

“Come here _, on your knees”

You crawled over to her resting your head on her lap, she gently caresses your face rubbing her thumb over your lip. “You’re the best thing I could ever ask for, now I’m going to treat you like a queen~” she grabs you by the shoulders and lifts you resting you on top of her, hands reaching over for your dress straps, soon the two of you were only in undergarments with Chisaki overhauling your bra away, she kisses you kneading your breast as you pull on the seam of her panties, pressing your thumb against her clit.

She sucks on the nape of your neck while grinding against your hand, her juices lightly coating your hand. “Hehe, you're so wet, I'm not even using my fingers and you’re already wet. So desperate for my touch, well guess what babe, I'm gonna give it to ya” you thrust two fingers in her your thumb circling around her clit. She spreads her lips for you looking at you with pleady eyes more they beg. You lean in giving her a sloppy kiss “I'm going to push you on edge and have you scream my name, make you cum until it hurts, and make you a nice warm bath then fuck you there too.” She nods thrusting against your hand “Yes ma'am” she mewles

“Good girl” your fingers plunged deep into her moist core, her cunt quivering around your fingers. She arches her back granting you full access to her plump breasts, you take the opportunity and wrap your lips around her perky pierced nipple, sucking and biting the sensitive bud. Her nails dig deep into your skin scratching at your hips, tearing off your panties in the process.

“Fuck me_, please fuck me!” she cries wrapping her legs around your waist, her nails rakinking down your back.

“You're such a naughty girl” you harshly kiss her, pulling your hand away from her dripping cunt, reaching to a nearby drawer pulling out fuzzy handcuffs “and naughty girls need to be punished~” swiftly handcuffing her to the bed. You kiss her abdomen and pull off her panties with your teeth, your hot breath hitting her pussy. You give her folds a slow long lick ignoring her clit, she whines pressing her thighs together locking your head with them. “Playing dirty I see” you roll your eyes and nip at her labia, she gasps and quickly retracts her legs.

“You don't always get what you want Chisaki, I'm afraid this is one of those times” you flip her over “just remember you brought this onto yourself”

Smack!

The first hit lands on her ass, she hisses pulling on the cuffs shooting you a dirty look.

“Oh love don’t look at me like that” you giggle “this is your punishment after all for being naughty it's supposed to be unfair if that's what you're thinking.”

“You can be a real bitch sometimes you know that” she growled licking her lips, in the blink of an eye she waf free from the fuzzy restraints and pinned you “now it's my turn.” She grinded her pussy against yours putting all her weight against you, grabbing the metal part on the cuffs with her free hand she turned it into a small dildo shoving it inside you.

“If you can last 5 minutes without cumming I’ll bottom for you~” she mockingly whispers as her fingers quickly work away with your pussy, your tight muscle wraps around her fingers and the small metal inside you. Not now you wouldnt easily let her break you, but you also yearned to be fucked by her. “Just fuck me already” you sigh in defeat.

“Hmm I don't know I’m kinda tired” she fake yawned releasing you before rolling on the other side of the bed “but ill make it up to you okay? Softly gazing at you while brushing her fingers through your hair.

“Fine just because you're tired”

#overhaul x reader #overhaul #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader

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fics-not-tragedies · 5 years

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Loaded like a weapon

I felt like after the “Third Chapter” a John Wick/Keanu Reeves fic blog was a must, so here I am, yet another fic blog, yup. I’m not limiting myself to only John Wick franchise, keep that in mind folks!

So at first I deliver to you a smol one shot, with some weaponry talk and an attempt at flirting! Enjoy my dears ;)

SUMMARY: Being the Sommelier at The Continental was never an easy job, but when John Wick himself arrives at The Armory before his new job, you try your very best to please him with the new weapons. . Words: 918; Warnings: kinda dirty weapon talk;

Soft sound of violin music was filling up the small place. It was lit with only one LED light fixture mounted into the ceiling. He was there all by himself, no one bothering him with small talk, taking the elevator down, to the one and only place in where he could spend his whole day without saying that it was wasted.

The Armory.

He was hoping for a good tasting. The Sommelier always had few aces up his sleeve and Wick loved all of the pieces he showed him every time he used his precious minutes and spend them in the converted basement.

Elevator doors opened with a loud ding and John stepped out into the dimly lit hallway. He knew the way like the back of his hand, he liked to disappear down in there few times a week, in the moments he wasn’t too busy with his jobs. It seemed like it was the only place he could find solace in, the surroundings of walls filled with various types of weapons helped Wick to clear his restless mind and forget about everything bad that happened in the previous months.

The carved wood door was unlocked as always and he simply sauntered into the fresh lighting. It blinded him at first, but when his eyes got used to it he noticed all of the new pieces that were hung on the walls.

“Mister Wick” you spoke in a dulcet tone seeing him enter the room.

John turned around and looked at you surprised. Of course he thought he’d met the usual Sommelier upon arriving here and not a pretty female in heeled boots.

His beard was trimmed neatly, hair slicked backwards, his suit perfect - just as he always was. He scanned your figure up and down; clearing his throat he moved closer towards you.

“The usual Sommelier is having a day off today,” you said thinking that he looked like he needed some sort of explanation for your appearance here, “so I’m at your service Mister Wick” a smile curled the corners of his mouth upwards.

“I’m gonna look at your new additions firstly then… I think I’m gonna need some of your help, dear” John nodded his head and smiled walking to the shelves mounted onto the wall right behind your desk.

“Maybe you’d like a tasting, sir?” you were more than familiar with the phraseology used in here, but the way you accented the word tasting mixed with your silky voice probably made him raise his eyebrow, if not made his thoughts wander off the weapons subject.

Stepping closer to him, the clicking sound of your heeled boots echoing in the room, you took one of the light machine guns from its racks and placed it onto the dark wooden desk of yours.

“It’s one of the finest Belgian ones,” you started, but took a pause to take a deep breath and he turned around to look at you, “M249, improved laser optic, comes either with 150-round belt or 100-round drum, detachable tripod. Recommended in vehicle assaults. We also have a range of new rifles, handguns, anything you like, sir” you accented the last word and you could have sworn that his eyes lighted up.

“How about this one?” he asked showing you an improved version of German combat knife he held in his hand.

“It’s KM2000, new model, freshly sharpened, one of our finest cutlery” you shoot the words out of your mouth on a one breath and you could see how impressed he was.

With eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape he closed the space between you two and sneaked his arm onto your back.

“Are you available tonight for a… personal tasting?” John raised his eyebrow while the tip of the knife slid across your exposed collarbone.

“It depends on what you’d like to taste, Mister Wick” the sudden rush of bravery filled your veins and it felt like this was the perfect moment to tease and flirt with the Baba Yaga himself.

“I want you so bad I can already taste THAT, my darling,” he slid the blade down your neck and into the cleavage of your flimsy shirt, “but I’d like to taste you. Would you like to wait for me in my room at 9pm tonight? Bring your first aid kit and I think that Doc would be needed too. And find us a nice bottle of an ancient bourbon. But for now…” he stepped back and turned around, so he could see the shelves again. Few shivers ran down your spine and you could swear that there was a lake in your panties.

After taking a few guns and rifles, as well as the knife he still held in his hand John placed them in the bag that you prepared on the desk in the meantime, closed the zipper and threw it onto his shoulder.

John eyed you like you were his pray, but before you could mumble an incoherent good luck Mister Wick he was once again in front of you, with his one hand sneaked behind your back, while the other one was firmly gripping the handle on the black bag on his shoulder.

One side of his mouth raised and you could have sworn that your thoughts were both sliding onto the same tracks of naughtiness and hair pulling.

“9pm. Remember,” he breathed into your lips and you had to fight off the urge to kiss him, “I’d like a tasting of you, dear.”

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chris-chaoticdumbass-mclean · 4 years

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Chris is Loki’s son headcanons:

Loki is definitely the producer of the TD franchise

World Tour was happening during SpiderMan: Far From Home

Loki has a disguise on when he is the producer

Loki is just there, supporting his son

Chris looks a lot like Loki

he’s also got all the traits

He’s got the hair too

and it explains why the fuckin show is still airing bc you know silver tongue all that convincing things

Christ doesn’t know until he shows Chef his dad

he’s just like hey this is my dad and Chef is like, “why does he look like the guy who invaded new york with aliens” and Chris is just kinda like “oh shit wait”

it’s probably a picture that Chris shows him, so Loki isn’t actually there when this happens

so Chris kinda brings it up next time they see each other, like “hey you ever been to New York?”

Loki be like “ummmmmmmm possibly” and just saunters away briskly

and chris runs after him like ok bro are you an evil chaos god or not i don’t care either way

then loki just looks at him like fine yes and chris is like bro that’s so cool so am i a god to

chris gets super excited about having superpowers

and loki is like “chill, all the ones you have you’ve been using already without noticing” “the charm, the convincing, good at speaking, never seeming to age bc of an increased life span”

Queue Chris being like “oh cool”

Thor met Chris before Loki told him about Chris and Thor is very confused talking to him, like “why does this human remind me of my brother”

bc loki of course put shields so that no one could sense him

Loki going to see the avengers and Chris tagging along and like everyone who’s anyone knows who chris mclean is

read: everyone but steve

And when Loki with Chris comes, Thor is like... “iTS YOU AGAIN”

and Chris is like “i tHOUGHT you looked like Thor, but i didn’t say anything bc i’m a nICE GUY”

and everyone just stares at him and until he’s like “ok fine, i’m an ok guy”

and tony is like “why tf are you here” and chris just goes “well, i was having lunch with dear ol dad here, until he was called away by mr thunder over there and he asked me if i wanted to come and i had nothing better to do, so i said why not”

and everyone, including steve, is like did you just say dAD

then someone, probably clint, is like wow ok that explains sooo much

Peter walks in. Says hi to everyone. Like:

Hi Mr. Loki

Hi Chris McLean—

w A I T

CHRIS MCLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he starts gushing over how awesome he is, Tony looks very concerned

Chris has no idea who he is or why he’s here in avengers tower but he’s just like “thanks kid, always nice to meet a fan”

Catch Peter calling up Shuri bc Shuri is meme god and Chris is a Top Tier meme

Catch Shuri flying over as fast as she can

Chris acts all cool but internally he’s lowkey freaking out like “holy shit i’m here with the avengers and the princess of wakanda is apparently such a huge fan of mine she’s flying here right now i can’t wait to tell Chef”

Chef in the mean time, is trying to keep the place together

while this is all going down Chris pulls out is phone and texts him like CHEF IM WITH THE AVENGERS

And Chef is like “suuuuuuuuure you are, and I’m wearing a tutu”, he needs some picture proof

Loki looks over Chris’s shoulder while he texts Chef cause that’s what parents do

once Shuri gets there and stuff he just sighs and goes “ok i feel bad asking this but my friend is refusing to believe i’m with the avengers until i send him a picture”

Peter and Shuri are like “cHEF?!?!!”

and they’re like “YES TAKE A PICTURE RIGHT NOWso chris gets one of all the avengers which facial expressions ranging from confused to concerned

Chef in the mean time, is making sure the contestants don’t kill each other, and he checks his phone being like “oh shit”

and then he sees Shuri and is like “WAIT IS BLACK PANTHER THERE?!” bc we all know Chef’s favorite is Black Panther bc T’Challa is a god

Chris just looks up like “he wants to know if Black Panther is here”

He is here, someone has to chaperone Shuri, make sure she doesn’t make any more lightsabers

he walks in and Chris is like “hey man kinda feel bad for asking but my friend is a huge nerd and wants to know if he can get a picture or video of you or something”

and T’Challa just stops like, “aren’t you the guy that runs the show my sister is obsessed with?”

meanwhile Shuri and Peter are freaking out bc Chris McLean just called Chef Hatchet a nerd

so T’Challa is like “uhhhh sure”, so Chris takes a selfie with him and sends it to Chef who is like “that’s amazing but please come back Duncan is trying to kill Harold again”

Shuri isn’t allowed to make lightsabers in Wakanda anymore because of... an incident, Chris tried to get a said lightsaber from Shuri (they are still in the Avengers Tower), T’Challa had to stop her

Shuri did something and now lightsabers are banned in Wakanda, but that doesn’t stop her from coming to the US to make them

she just like “hey chris mclean want a lightsaber?” and chris is like “omg y e s”

Peter already has a lightsaber, so does Tony

chris is like “get me that lightsaber and i’ll be your friend forever” Bc ya know Star Wars nerd

Loki then reveals that fact to everyone else bc he knows of course who else is Chris going to gush about star wars with other then Chef?

Peter and Shuri are just stunned bc Chris McLean is a star wars nerd

and Chris just shrugs like “bros i wore my x-wing pilot suit like at least twice on national television”

And that’s it!

Feel free to add more!

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kryptaria · 5 years

Text

What Will They Reboot Next?

(Saw this on Facebook, couldn’t resist...)

One of these days, Crowley would learn to think before acting. That day, unfortunately, wasn’t yesterday, when he’d finally talked Aziraphale into getting himself a phone that wasn’t a Bakelite antique attached to a landline.

He’d just wanted a convenient way to text the angel (though he dreaded the conversation about emojis he was certain loomed in his future like the Second Apocalypse). He hadn’t expected this sort of chaos -- whatever this was.

“Explain this! Right this instant!” Aziraphale demanded, brandishing his new iPhone[1] with such vigour, not even Crowley’s demonically sharp eyes could see what was actually on the bloody screen.

It wasn’t an error message. There was an actual picture there; that much, Crowley could see. But a picture of what?

“Explain what?”

“This!” was Aziraphale’s unhelpful response, accompanied by a wave reminiscent of the angel brandishing his old flaming sword, which set off all sorts of post-apocalypse stress reactions in Crowley.

He lashed out, not to harm[2] the angel, but to catch him by one perfectly starched cuff. The wardrobe-based assault froze Aziraphale in mid-brandish, letting Crowley’s eyes[3] finally focus on the screen.

“Oh,” Crowley said, jerking his hand back, though the screen remained rock-steady and regrettably in-focus. He doubted Aziraphale had any idea who was in the photo on the left[4], but the right...

“‘Oh,’” Aziraphale quoted, the word punctuated with the faint rustle of unseen wings.

Crowley couldn’t hide his guilty flinch. “It’s not my fault!”

“Not your fault! Crowley --”

“Look, it was when you were doing inventory, all right?” Crowley protested. “Three weeks, it took you. What was I supposed to do?”

Aziraphale huffed. “You said you were going to celebrate averting the apocalypse!”

“I was!” Crowley shrugged, giving his best innocent[5] smile. “I went to Los Angeles. There’s this --”

“How does your going to Hollywood end with this?”

Crowley shrugged again, saying, “Look, you’re the one who started it all, with the whole Hamlet thing. I took a couple of acting classes[6], and next thing you know, a director got me mixed up with this ‘David Tennant’ fellow. Poor chap can’t act his way out of a paper bag, if you ask me, but he somehow made it into weekend seminars at the Royal Scottish Academy --”

Aziraphale clicked his tongue and waved the mobile, making Crowley flinch again. “That’s not what I’m talking about -- although we will discuss that later,” he added ominously, bringing the whole flaming sword thing to mind again.[7]

After six thousand years of lying to Hell and, more recently, helping to avert the Apocalypse through sheer incompetence, Crowley knew when to shut up, and that moment was now. So he did.

“I’m talking about” -- Aziraphale scoffed, nose crinkling up in a positively adorable show of distaste -- “reboots.”

That nose-crinkle tore right through Crowley’s demonic defences. Despite six thousand years of vaguely-unswerving dedication to evil, he felt his mouth curl up in a sappy, slightly serpentine smile. “Reboots?”

“It says so right here.” The mobile screen flashed again, not that Crowley bothered looking. “They’re rebooting Batman.”

“Yeah?” Most of Crowley’s thoughts had melted into a puddle of goo, thanks to that nose-crinkle. The tiny corner of his infernal brain that was still working had just enough processing power to be impressed that Aziraphale hadn’t pronounced it in two words: bat man.

With a sigh of pure exasperation, Aziraphael crossed his arms, something he never did[8]. “You’re responsible for the concept of rebooting franchises every other year.”

“I wouldn’t! That’s all humans.”

Aziraphale lifted a brow sceptically. “You happen to go to Hollywood, and coincidentally there’s a Batman reboot, starring you?”

“Sure, if you put it like that, it sounds bad,” Crowley admitted, “but it’s not like they haven’t rebooted that particular franchise a hundred times already --”

“Five,” Aziraphale corrected primly.

Crowley blinked.

Aziraphale shrugged, glancing away. “I researched it.”

Crowley gave an unprecedented second blink. “You researched it?”

“I -- I have a whole back room full of comics,” Aziraphale said, still avoiding Crowley’s gaze. “Pristine first editions, all of them. I couldn’t not look into them. Have you any idea how much those things can be worth?”

“So what you’re saying is, you can afford to pay for an around-the-world cruise?” Crowley hinted, hoping to escape further discussion of reboots.

Aziraphale sniffed. “As if I’d sell any of them. I don’t even leave the door unlocked for browsing without appointment.[9] Just think of all the people getting their grubby fingerprints on the covers, dog-earing the pages...”

Crowley grinned, safely back on familiar ground. “Yes, wouldn’t want to imagine that sort of thing happening in a used bookshop.”

Refusing to be diverted, Aziraphael said, “Reboots, Crowley. Specifically Batman reboots. I sense your demonic hand at work.”

“My demonic hands were nowhere near this reboot,” Crowley said, heroically resisting the temptation to suggest anything about any of his parts, demonic or otherwise. “I was trying to tell you, I was in Los Angeles for a nightclub, that’s all.”

“A nightclub.” Aziraphale scoffed. “My dear Crowley, we’re in Soho. What could Los Angeles possibly offer that you can’t find right here?”

“Oh, angel...” Crowley smiled, plucking the mobile from Aziraphale’s fingers so he could slither up close. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been to Los Angeles.”

Aziraphale did that full-body wiggle he always did when Crowley got too close, as if he were making a show of being too polite to back away.[10] “Of course not. It always seemed a bit... trite. And full of Californians.”

“Well, yes. It being in California and all,” Crowley pointed out, pretending to dust some lint off Aziraphale’s lapels.

The casual touch got the angel to finally uncross his arms. His hands landed unerringly on Crowley’s hips, fitting perfectly in place like a key made for a lock. The touch was every bit as warm and inviting as the shelter of his wings had been the day of that very first storm.

And the bolt of lightning that shot through Crowley as their eyes met made that first storm seem like nothing more than a drizzle.

“What’s so special about Los Angeles?”

It took Crowley a moment to remember how to speak and even longer to remember what they’d been talking about. He definitely couldn’t remember when he’d wound his arms around Aziraphale’s shoulders. That sort of thing was happening more and more these days, not that they’d actually discussed it.

They probably should have done, but they were, after all, hereditary enemies. They just happened to be hereditary enemies who were on their own side now, not anybody else’s.

“This nightclub you found?” Aziraphale prompted.

“In Los Angeles. Right.”

Crowley nodded, wrenching his brain back from its dazed meandering. He was a demon, which meant he specialised in doing the wrong thing, but he’d once been an angel, and he’d recently done the right thing, with excellent results. Bracing himself, he decided to give the right thing another shot and, as humans put it, use his words.

After all, if you thought about it, they’d been on their own side for a lot longer than anyone realised. Six thousand years longer.

“Maybe... we could go together?” Crowley suggested, shifting from the casual accidental hug to deliberately running one hand up over Aziraphale’s nape.

The angel’s blue eyes went as wide as the infinite skies over the Garden of Eden.

A shiver passed through Crowley’s wings. He threaded his fingers into Aziraphale’s curls.

The sound Aziraphale made wasn’t one humans would have heard, if there had been any in the bookshop to witness this moment.[11]

A couple centuries’ of drama study had taught Crowley that this was, in fact, The Moment. He had to play it cool. Six thousand years of studying humanity meant he’d seen The Moment played out countless times. He had a whole repertoire of possible reactions and responses to choose from, even if this was the first time he himself had ever done any Seizing of The Moment.

But Aziraphale Seized first, moving his hands from Crowley’s hips to the small of his back, and suddenly there was no measurable distance between their corporeal forms at all.[12]

“Ngh,” was Crowley’s very un-cool response to his angel’s first real embrace.

Unruffled[13], Aziraphale said, “This nightclub you visited...”

What’s a nightclub? Crowley thought for a few eternal seconds before remembering. (Aziraphale’s hair was very soft. Had it always been that soft?) It took even longer for him to shuffle through his memories of every nightclub he’d ever visited[14] before he finally remembered the latest one.

It had all the usual features -- low lighting, dancing on tables, lines of humans desperate to make it past the bouncer -- but also enough alcohol to get even a couple of eternal beings plastered and a gorgeously tuned grand piano.

Besides, the only one allowed to play said grand piano could also be trusted not to snitch to either side if a certain angel and demon ended up in a dark corner booth. Together.

“Crowley?”

“Sorry,” Crowley said, tightening his arms before Aziraphale could think something had gone horribly wrong and pull away.

Smiling like an angel[15], Aziraphale looked up into Crowley’s eyes and asked, “What’s this nightclub called?”

Bargaining like a demon[16], Crowley countered, “Do you believe I’m not lying about the whole reboots thing?”

“My dear Crowley...” Aziraphale tipped his head into Crowley’s palm and sighed. “Yes. I believe you.”

Warmed all the way through, Crowley said, “It’s called Lux. Want to go?”

Eyes sparkling with delight, Aziraphale said, “I’d love to. Just let me fetch a nicer tie.”

Thoughts of a wardrobe full of tartan and taupe filled Crowley’s thoughts, but he didn’t protest. It wasn’t as if the bouncers would get in their way, and once they were inside... well, he’d burn that bridge when he came to it. “You do that, angel,” he said, reluctantly stepping out of Aziraphale’s arms.

And as Aziraphale bustled off to find a new bow tie (leaving his mobile behind[17]), Crowley got out his own mobile and hastily composed an email to his agent. If all went well, he anticipated some scheduling conflicts in his future. That around-the-world cruise was waiting for them, after all.

...

[1] Aziraphale pronounced it “eye phone,” with a distinct pause, but Crowley was taking baby steps in introducing the angel to technology.

[2] Never to harm.

[3] He’d never quite got the hang of limiting his vision to only the mortal spectrum, which was the real reason he kept wearing his sunglasses. These days, no one would look twice at his eyes, except to compliment him on his contacts.

[4] Crowley had never suggested anything as absurd as sparkling vampires, though he was happy to take credit. He did, however, write a disclaimer -- in all caps -- that he was NOT responsible for Fifty Shades of anything. Hell’s response had been “That came from the Other Side,” though Crowley had never figured out precisely which angel to blame.

[5] Despite six thousand years of practice, he wasn’t very good at it.

[6] “A couple” meaning a couple hundred, but eventually he got the hang of it.

[7] There’s a reason the Almighty had posted Aziraphale to guard the Eastern Gate, and it wasn’t for his snazzy fashion sense. Under the mild-mannered bookseller was the sort of badass angel who made Crowley’s toes curl, though Crowley would never admit it.

[8] Aziraphale’s usually-upright posture had nothing to do with his angelic nature and everything to do with not straining the seams of his favourite jacket.

[9] The “Employees Only” sign on the door meant no one knew about the collection, which saved Aziraphale the trouble of scheduling any appointments.

[10] The fact that Aziraphale always ended up even closer to Crowley was a coincidence absolutely no one believed, especially not God.

[11] Only one entity witnessed it, and Her only reaction was to sigh and say, “Finally,” in a Voice that made no fewer than seven prophets across the world faint, overcome with Divine Vision.

[12] Other than their clothing, a thought that occurred to both corporeal entities and their incorporeal observer, with varying levels of frustration.

[13] Metaphorically and literally. Aziraphale had, in fact, taken a few hours to meticulously groom his wings after he’d finished inventory. He was just waiting for the right moment to show off to Crowley.

[14] His favourite would always be an underground club in Night Vale, with its singing crystal walls and eldritch DJ playing the screams of those lost in the Void, but he didn’t think Aziraphale would like it there.

[15] Actually, angelic smiles tended to be cold, shallow, and feral. Aziraphale was smiling like a human, which made all the difference in the world.

[16] Demons are terrible at bargaining by design. Humanity is perfectly capable of tempting itself without any outside help.

[17] A habit he’d already developed, despite having the mobile for less than a week.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ficlet #unbetaed #posting to AO3 later

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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Marvel Movie Night: X-Men The Last Stand

So - when this came out, I worked at a theater. We got to see an early screening of it. When we walked my mom turned to me and said -- that wasn’t good, right? I had to agree.

So. Here we are. I feel like I have a very complicated relationship with this film, because I know a crap ton about X-Men and knowing more means this film feels like even more of a mess than maybe a general audience would know. It’s hard to really comment on whether or not this is a good film. It’s definitely far more watchable than the Fantastic Four, or the other Marvel related films coming out at the time that weren’t Spider-Man. However, it doesn’t hold together too well overall.

The biggest issue this film has is that it’s trying to shove too many story lines with too many mutants into one film, and it kind of fails at everything that it’s trying to do.

But first - a comment on production. It was kind of a mess (though, I’m super fascinated that there was an original draft of this that Emma Frost played by Sigourney Weaver. Damn, I’m sad we didn’t get that). Directors switched, writers switched, actors were no longer under contract -- and I mean, most productions have things change, but all of this resulted in this film getting pulled in fifteen different directions, and I do thing that did have an effect on the final result.

So - let’s talk about what this film is trying to do.

The Dark Phoenix saga. One of the most iconic X-Men stories ever told, and it is for a reason. Having just reread it last month, it’s egregious to me how much this movie misses the point. Look - I’m fine, in general, when other media changes original stories for adaptations. Film is not comics, but I do think you need to understand the essence of the story in order to do it well in an adaptation. And The Last Stand just doesn’t understand the Phoenix story.

See - in the comics, it’s a lot about manipulation, control, and power - and how Jean Grey is being manipulated, but breaks out of it with her extreme power. (There’s also a ton about crazy space forces, but I understand why they didn’t go there, it’s... uber complicated.) But, the point is that this ends up being an internal story -- how Jean deals with the power once she’s broken free from the manipulation, how how her relationships with various X-Men help her cope with split identity. At the end -- with her friends behind her, she decides to end her own life, and her sacrifice is make sure she doesn’t destroy the universe. And it’s very beautifully told.

There are three things (major) things I have issue with in this film -- 1. With the exception of Cyclops, in a limited role, and slightly Xavier, Jean’s relationships with other people are just not explored enough to have an emotional impact; 2. At no point is Jean ever back in control of her own agency. Xavier manipulates her, then Magneto, then she just stands around for a long time until Wolverine finally kills her. It cheapens everything about Jean Grey and agency the original story has, and I hate it. 3. The story in the movie seems to service the goddamn Logan/Jean Grey love story that I hate in the comics, and I hate it more here - but I’ll spare you the diatribe.

The other thing, though... The animated series got this right -- but it could because it had time to. See, the comics drew this whole story out for years, and it’s emotional pay off works better over a long period of time, which a two hour movie just doesn’t have. And it’s especially hurt when it’s truncated due to a whole other plot in the film. Which leads me to...

The Cure - the second plot of the film. Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men at the time was a big hit, so they decided to use this story. It’s not a bad story -- it has to do with the big political element that the X-Men always are dealing with, and that’s fine. But, because it can’t be the full focus, it too feels overstuffed. (Really the film wants to be this plot, and should have never done Dark Phoenix in the first place.)

Unfortunately, because they need to shoehorn in Magneto, the brotherhood, the Morlocks, and every other mutant in the X-Universe (except Gambit for some reason) - this turns into a mess, where Magneto is his Silver Age, scenery chewing self, and a whole lot of people punch each other because that’s what these third acts usually devolve into. The Cure story line is and can be a much smaller story, too, and maybe works better as such, but this is a major blockbuster - which I’m sure studio mandates a certain amount of CGI nonsense. Ah well.

Other Thoughts (dear god, get ready for all the thoughts!):

The Danger Room scene at the beginning of the film is a goddamn delight -- that is how you use the X-Men working as a team, and that’s how you use Wolverine in a good capacity.

One thing I’ll credit this film - it does better with its action sequences, and specifically letting the X-Men actually work as a team.

I can’t help but feel, though, that I wish more of the classic X-Men teams had been together for their last stand. Something about Wolverine’s little pep talk felt hollow - maybe because these characters we’ve barely met and/or interacted with and the emotional resonance isn’t there.

FWIW - the special effects in this film are such an upgrade than all the crud had has come before it -- especially Fantastic Four, which was only a year or so earlier.

Hugh Jackman has finally really settled in his role as Wolverine, he’s great, yadda, yadda

Famke Janssen continues to be an excellent Jean Grey, and I’m sorry her story line stunk so badly. The scene with her and Wolverine, where she goes through the gamut of emotions, is really quite wonderful. It’s a shame she spends half the movie just standing (or sitting) there.

I understand that James Marsden kind of tapped out of the franchise to go do Superman, but I’m so sad that they really didn’t do Cyclops well in any of these films. He’s such a great character, and you wouldn’t know it at all by these films.

The Beast! Who’d have thought that Kelsey Grammer would have been a good choice for Beast -- but it works.

I think Halle Berry asked for more to do as Storm. Well -- she has more to do, but she still doesn’t feel like Storm. I want an X-Men film where she Ororo Monrue is given the proper chance to shine.

Oh - I should mention Storm vs Callisto is a thing here, as an easter egg to long time fans, but it’s not satisfying to me as a long time fan because, like, most everything in this film, they kind of fucked it up.

Meanwhile... oh Rogue, maybe we shouldn’t get me started on how my favorite X-Man is the utter worst in this film. Not only is she barely in this film but... this is such a complicated issue for this character -- to be given five minutes of screen time is just the utter worst. And no, Rogue would never do that. No, no, no.

Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde is amazing, and she should have had her own movie. I find it hilarious, though, that she and Iceman kinda flirt with each other here -- since Iceman is canonically gay, and Kitty is subtextually bi. It’s just... funny.

Iceman - in his ice form. Yes, more of this.

Angel is here! He literally does nothing, but he doesn’t do much in the comics either, so it kinda hilariously works. I like the actor, too, he’s a great match.

The dude playing Colossus is a delight - again, more screen time needed! I kinda love that he’s just carrying around a TV to show his strength.

Lord help me - the Juggernaut is the worst. I hated that meme. I hate that he looks like a literal dick head. I hate that he’s portrayed as a mutant when he’s not, etc, etc.

There’s so much more to comment on, but I’ll spare you the time -- I mean there’s Moira MacTaggart, and the Morlocks - who are also the Omega Gang?, and Leech, and Eric Dane playing Multiple Man, and really... they brought in Stacey X (you guys ask me about Stacey X...), and apparently Psylocke is supposed to be in here somewhere, and sentinel camoes, and Trask, and Mystique... But, this review is long enough.

I do need to point out - the President is played by Josef Somer, who played Ducksworth in The Mighty Ducks, and I can only think of ‘quacking’ whenever I look at him.

Final Thoughts: It’s probably more enjoyable for a non-fan than a hardcore X-Man fan. It’s not as bad as people make it out to seem, but it’s not good either. Overall, there’s a lot of potential that gets squandered and exploded. Ah well.

#marvel movie nights

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Needles Family Values, Ch. 1 - pureCAMP & Citrus

Summary: They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, the Needles family! Missing sisters, lying psychiatrists, passionate sex and the imminent threats of fraud and death… just another day in the Needles household. Welcome to the Addams Family AU you never knew you needed.

pureCAMP’s a/n: hi!!! i love citrus and i love these movies and this franchise so here’s our secret surprise we’ve been hinting at for ages!!!! love u and hope u love this!!!

Citrus’s a/n: if you know me at all, you know that the Addams Family is my favorite film franchise of all time, and arguably my favorite pop culture franchise overall. i’m absolutely ELATED to be finally bringing this fic into the light after working so long and hard on it with one of my favorite people in the entire world! this really is a labor of love, and i hope you enjoy it!

“Violet, darling, put that cleaver down.”

The children skidded to a halt at the sound of their mother’s voice, soft yet firm, and Violet handed over the offending object that she had been using to chase her younger brother around the house. Sharon replaced it with an axe, pressing the weapon into her daughter’s hands. There were many dangers around their home, little nooks and crannies of chaos for the children to run into, and it was the very least she could do to try and protect them. A cleaver would be of no use at all.

“Don’t ever let me catch you doing that again. Your brother is much too old for just a little cleaver, now, isn’t he?”

Alaska looked over from the sofa, a smile spreading across her face. “Has Gio really outgrown the meat cleaver? Oh, Sharon, they’re growing up so fast…” She regarded her wife lovingly as the children took off once more, Violet brandishing the new axe proudly. “Do you remember when Gio was born, darling?”

The ghost of a smile flickered on Sharon’s lips at the memory. “Of course I do,” she said wistfully. “I was in labour for twenty-seven hours. It was agony.” She paused. “It was bliss.” Alaska shivered.

“Your screams… I’ll never forget them, cara mia. They were so tortured, so chilling, so utterly beautiful.” Sharon glowed at her wife’s words, closing the book she’d been skimming through and laying it on her lap. Alaska’s gaze landed on the novel curiously before she looked back up at Sharon. “What are you reading, bella?”

“Raising the Dead: Caring for Your Little Monster,” she replied with the hint of a smile. “Ages infant to three.”

Alaska cocked her head to the side, puzzled. “Infant to three? But Sharon, our children…” her eyes widened suddenly, and she stared at her wife, mouth agape. “Sharon. Is it true?” Sharon’s smile didn’t waver as she nodded in affirmation, one hand resting on her abdomen. Alaska jumped to her feet, pulling her wife into a tight embrace. “Cara mia… Such dreadful news, and today of all days…”

Sharon leaned into Alaska’s embrace, lips brushing against her cheek. “Darling… It was inevitable… I simply can’t keep my hands off you…” Alaska held back a low moan as Sharon ran her hands over her curves, emphasized by the exquisite tailoring of her dark suit. Her words were true; she’d never met a single soul who possessed the beauty that Alaska had, and she truly loved her wife - several times a day, at least. While Alaska preferred to express her adoration for Sharon with flowery words and chivalry and gifts, Sharon’s way of proclaiming her affection was much more… physical. She was incredibly lucky, therefore, that she’d met a woman with a near-insatiable sexual appetite to match her own, and married her.

Sharon remembered it like it had happened merely yesterday, and not the ten years their unbreakable vow had boasted. A dear friend of hers had passed away - the delightfully disgusting Sasha, after losing a long and honourable battle with her own health - and she had arrived at the funeral resplendent in black, the same situation during which her friend, when alive, had introduced her to the very pair of eyes watching her whilst everybody else was enamoured with her cadaver. She, too, found herself drawn to the piercing stare of her lover. Had she been a different kind of woman, she may have even blushed.

The “mystery woman” introduced herself immediately, kneeling slightly and pressing a lingering kiss to Sharon’s outstretched hand. “My, my… The devil should be so lucky as to receive you as a gift, bella.”

Her poisonous green eyes met Sharon’s as she straightened, allowing her to appreciate the woman before her. “Alaska Needles. Why, it’s… disenchanting to meet you. I had expected that her darling corpse would be the prettiest thing I saw today. It appears I was wrong.”

“Sharon, Sharon Coady. You’re quite the sight to behold, Alaska.”

Alaska blinked slowly, her gaze unwavering as her eyelashes fluttered. “I can see you’ve lived a thousand torturous lifetimes, cara mia. A woman like you deserves a name to go with it.”

Biting her lip, Sharon pulled Alaska closer, delighted by their playacting. “Is that so? What would you suggest?”

With a tenderness unlike anything Sharon had felt before, Alaska took both her hands within her own and held them close to her chest. It was as if Sharon could feel the fire beneath her skin, relishing in the flames that devoured the pit of her stomach. Her lover was a woman like no other.

“I say I take you away. Tonight, cara mia, the witching hour. I’ll give you my name, and all of the pain and misery you could possibly withstand.”

Sharon let out a low gasp. “Take me, darling. Let us never look back.”

That very night, in the midst of the very graveyard their relatives were decaying in, they had made the ultimate sacrifice. Sharon relinquished her name, happy to accept Alaska’s in the wake of their seemingly sudden, sweeping romance. When they kissed, the moonlight above them as their witness, Sharon swore that life and death, pain and pleasure, distress and tranquility each had merged, coming together into one.

Before long, she was a fully-fledged member of the extensive Needles clan, accepted and beloved by each and every oddity that kissed her hand and wished them well. Sharon learned of Alaska’s sister, older and lonelier, who had disappeared the very night they married, never to be seen again. The two sisters had been driven apart, and Sharon knew just how deeply Alaska wished she could see her once more and reunite their family.

“Katya always loved the little ones, how I wish she could be here to meet our children,” Alaska sighed. “She would adore them so.”

“The time of the seance is nearing, ma chère,” Sharon answered, “Perhaps tonight, Katya Needles will show herself. We all miss her dearly.”

“Everyone to the seance room, we must begin the preparations!” The voice of Alaska’s mother brought them out of their trance, reminding the two they were not alone. They made their way to the seance room arm-in-arm, and though the urge to steal away and lose themselves in pain and pleasure was strong, the urge to reunite their family was, as it so often is, much stronger.

“Violet, Gio, darlings- come and join us,” Sharon called out softly, the children seemingly materializing out of nowhere and scampering into the room. Violet was still wielding the axe, and Gio had retaliated with spiked mace that he was swinging above his head. Holding out one hand, Alaska stopped them both in their tracks and watched as they skidded to a halt.

“Now, now, no weapons are to be taken into the seance room. You know this.” She scolded gently, ignoring their sulky expressions as she took the weapons and put them aside. “We need to prepare for tonight, and I know you’ve been looking forward to it so very much. Come along, now.”

Rarely used but well-loved, the seance room was one of the many dusty jewels tucked away in their home. It was well stocked with books, thick with knowledge of any kind of pain and torture known or unknown to man. In the centre, beneath one of many crystalline chandeliers, stood their grand oak table. Many an execution warrant had been written upon its smooth surface back in its origin. It was rich with history, which they were hoping would serve them well in their search for Katya.

“Oh, Alaska… It seems such a shame to remove all these beautiful cobwebs….” Sharon held the duster close to her chest.

Alaska pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I know, mia bella. They’re exquisite.”

Sharon sighed, sweeping through them half-heartedly. “I’m sorry, poor spiders. It’ll only be for a couple of days. Then you can move right back in and begin spinning some beautiful new webs.”

There wasn’t much else to be done, save for removing the dust and setting out the candles, so it didn’t take the family too long to prepare. It had been almost a decade of searching fruitlessly, desperate for Katya’s return. They had to hope that this year would finally yield the results they dreamed of.

A gentle tap on the door revealed a visitor - the eccentric disembodied hand, who was standing near Alaska’s feet. It was clear by the frantic gesturing that it had a message.

“Ah! Evening, Vanjie.”

The hand went still.

Alaska coughed. “Sorry, sorry. Miss Vanjie.”

Satisfied, Vanjie continued with its odd method of communicating, gesticulating oddly in a manner that seemed completely untranslatable. Somehow, Alaska nodded, understanding it all.

“Right, right. Sharon, darling, Detox and Roxxxy are here. Vanjie says they’re expecting you.”

Sharon let out an airy gasp. “Of course. I’d completely forgotten. Detox will want to speak with you, I expect.” She turned to face the rest of the family. “My darlings, Grandmama’s in charge. We have other matters to attend to.”

“The Katya Needles Offshore Retirement Fund?” Alaska read off the sheet of paper on her desk. She looked up at Detox. “What would it do?”

Detox put a hand on her hip. “What wouldn’t it do?”

Alaska sighed, already lost in a memory. “Katya… You know, some called her ‘the visual depiction of untreated mental illness.’”

“No,” Detox gasped. Alaska shook her head, smiling proudly.

“Only our parents. I called her ‘sister.’”

“And her memory must live on forever,” Detox insisted. “Through money,” she added. “I’ll deposit the money under my name, for tax purposes you know.”

“How inspired!” Alaska praised, looking over the papers in her hands.

“She would’ve wanted it that way,” Detox said. “One million dollars should be the perfect amount. For darling Katya’s memory, of course.”

Alaska leapt up from her seat and onto her desk. “It’s brilliant!” she exclaimed joyfully, fencing foil raised high. Then she paused, turning to look down at Detox. “But it’s not old business, Detox, and you know the rules.”

“Couldn’t we- couldn’t we make an exception?” the businesswoman faltered. Alaska hopped off the desk, shaking her head.

“Old business is old business, and new business is new business. And we do not discuss new business until…” she turned her back and flipped through her desk calendar at an inhuman speed, “Next quarter.”

“Next quarter,” Detox repeated under her breath, outraged. While Alaska’s back was still turned, she grabbed her abandoned foil from their earlier joust and made a thrust in Alaska’s direction with her whole body. Unfortunately, Alaska moved at the very last second, sending Detox tumbling over the desk and onto the floor.

“Fine lunge, but your riposte…” Alaska tsked, looking down at her. “A tad rusty. You’d do well to practice more, Detox.” She tossed her foil to Vanjie, who sheathed it, and made her way to the doorway. “Make yourself comfortable while I fetch the money for the monthly expenses.”

“A charity auction,” Jinkx muttered as she searched through the storage room, “It’s ridiculous.”

They had already searched most of the room, including opening an old bureau that was found to only contain the summer and winter wardrobes of Alaska’s uncle, as well as the body of the man himself. No luck there.

At that moment, Vanjie caught Sharon’s attention by snapping its fingers and pointing to a nearby shelf. Sharon let out a small exclamation of delight and retrieved the object they’d been searching for, gliding over to Roxxxy with a smile.

“Just what we’ve been searching for. Thank you, Vanjie.”

“It’s beautiful,” Roxxxy breathed. “Er, what is it?”

Sharon smiled. “A finger trap from the court of Emperor Ru,” she explained, turning the device over in her hands.

“This must be worth a fortune… Oh, Sharon!” Roxxxy squealed in delight, overcome by her kindness. “It’s too extravagant… Maybe even for the auction…”

“Let’s keep it,” Jinkx suggested gleefully. Sharon looked at her with surprise.

“Hush, Mama,” she chided, “It’s for charity. Widows and orphans.” She turned to Roxxxy with an expression of utmost sympathy. “We need more of them.” Then she frowned, looking troubled. “Roxxxy, about the seance tonight… I wish you’d come. It’s Alaska, I’m… I’m terribly worried about her,” she admitted. “She won’t eat, she can’t sleep, she keeps coughing up blood…”

Roxxxy looked up from the finger trap, which had now closed around her index fingers while she had been fiddling with it. “She coughs up blood?” she echoed, sounding horrified. Sharon sighed deeply, her voice thick with emotion.

“Not like she used to…”

“There you are!” Alaska proclaimed, heaping the last of a stack of shimmering gold coins onto the scale. “The monthly expenses. It was good to see you, Detox, you really should visit more often.” Sliding the doubloons into Detox’s briefcase, she handed it off, bidding the defeated woman adieu.

Mood soured, Detox grunted in response. “Thanks.” She replied curtly, lugging the much-heavier briefcase with her. “Roxxxy? Come on, we’re leaving!”

Roxxxy joined her just as they headed out of the door, Alaska and Sharon waving them off. Her face was pinched uncomfortably, her finger still caught in the unusual trap, and she looked put-out by something. Such was a side-effect of visiting the Needles mansion - though they were rich, the estate was filled with horrors other than the children, that would disturb anyone of sound mind.

“This stupid trap!” She shrieked, finally undone by the madness. “Detox, look at this stupid thing!”

She was just about to open the gate, ready to reassure her wife, when she realized something - or someone - was blocking the way. The Needles’ eldest child, a young girl named Violet, was stood in front of them.

“You - but - you -” Detox faltered, sure she had seen the child just moments ago, at the top of the staircase. Violet remained expressionless.

“It’s not stupid.” She stated plainly. “It’s very simple, and very valuable.” With one click, she freed Roxxxy’s fingers, now red and swollen, from the trap. “There’s a trick to it. Maybe Mother will teach it to you tonight, at the seance.”

Without another word, she began to walk back towards her home, looming eerily black against the bright blue sky. In the meantime, wrenching the gate open, Detox glared at Roxxxy.

“You agreed to go to a seance?! With the Needles?!”

Roxxxy shrugged helplessly. “Do you expect me to argue with Sharon?” She replied, her voice shrill. “She’s a lovely woman, but she’s too intimidating!”

“And filthy fucking rich - that she is.” Detox sighed, conceding. “That she fucking is.”

With an almighty thud, Detox slammed the briefcase that Alaska had filled onto her desk and sank into her worn leather chair, facing the wall. She was in dire straits, and she knew it. That fake retirement fund for the long missing Katya Needles had been her last attempt at a fraudulent scheme, and she had come up empty-handed yet again. If she couldn’t convince the Needles to squander some of their unending wealth soon, she would be a goner.

“Detox? Good to see you. Sit down.” A familiar voice commanded. Detox let out a long, low groan.

“I’m already sitting down.”

“Sit down here.” The voice insisted. Turning, Detox saw the one face that she cared to see less than Alaska or Sharon Needles - Phi Phi O’Hara. Her dark eyes were boring into Detox’s expectantly, and she knew that her benefactor was waiting for money that she just didn’t have.

“Pay up, Detox.” She began sternly, as she sullenly took a seat opposite Phi Phi on the floral couch. “I’ve lent you many thousands of dollars by now. I expect to see some payback.”

Sweating, Detox sank down further. “Look, O’Hara, I don’t have it. I’ve got nothing for you, I’ve got nothing for myself. I need more time-”

“And I need results, Detox. I need them now. I trust you haven’t met my sister yet?”

Detox’s first thought was that there was no way this… creature could be Phi Phi’s sister. Unlike her boss, who was short in stature and golden skinned, her sister was tall, pale and muscular. Around her head, a birds nest of black hair obscured most of her face, so that all that could be seen was one sharp cheekbone and a pair of blood red lips. However, at the sight of her somewhat-menacing stance, Detox decided not to question her birth.

“She’s trained.” Phi Phi warned her. “I wouldn’t try to cross us, Detox.

The dark-haired woman cracked her knuckles.

She frowned. “Trained in what?”

Phi Phi shrugged. “Don’t try to find out. Just give us our money and we won’t have to hurt you.”

“I’m trying!” Detox insisted, jumping to her feet. “Honestly, they’re drowning in money. Just today I heard Alaska’s wife talking about how they made it onto Forbes richest - multiple times! They have some sort of secret vault or something, but no one knows where it is!” Phi Phi’s terrifying sister stepped closer to her, a menacing glare in her eyes as she reached out and suddenly pushed Detox against the wall by her neck.

“I think she’s lying, Phi Phi,” she said with a leering grin.

“I- I swear I’m not!” Detox choked out, struggling to breathe. “I was gonna look during- during their seance tonight!”

“Seance?” Phi Phi questioned. Detox nodded as best she could while attempting to free herself from the woman’s grasp.

“They have one every year, to- to summon their long-lost sister. K-Katya.”

“Petra, let her down,” Phi Phi commanded. Her sister relinquished her hold on Detox with a slight frown, stepping back. “Now, Detox… Tell me about this seance.”

By the time Detox had explained everything, there was a wicked glimmer in Phi Phi’s eye.

“This could work,” she mused, “We could pull it off.”

“Pull what off?”

Phi Phi rolled her eyes. “Jesus, Detox, keep up. We’re gonna disguise Petra as Katya Needles, and I’ll pretend to be a psychiatrist who found her washed up somewhere with amnesia. Once the Needles accept her into their family again, she can tell us where their vault is, and you can finally pay us what you owe.”

Detox considered Phi Phi’s plan, her gaze shifting to Petra. She did look startlingly similar to the portrait of Katya that hung in the Needles estate. With a haircut and some cleaning up, she could easily pass for the long-lost Needles sibling. Phi Phi was already convinced, a pair of fake glasses in hand to add to her psychiatrist illusion. Petra was on board with the scheme, seemingly willing to do whatever her sister suggested. Reluctantly, Detox pulled out her phone.

“I’ll call Roxxxy. She likes Mrs Needles, but she hates the weird shit they get up to. She’s not gonna like this at all.”

For the entire drive back to the Needles mansion, Roxxxy was sullen and silent; it was a drastic but not unwelcome change from her hysterical yelling that had nearly burst Detox’s eardrums through the phone. She kept her arms crossed and her eyes in her lap, doing her best to ignore the two passengers conversing in the backseat. As expected, she hadn’t taken the news well, but Detox had the upper hand. No matter how they did it, they needed money fast. Petra - or Katya - was their only hope.

“Ugh, this place freaks me out.” Roxxxy sniffed, smoothing her dark green skirt and gazing at the ornate iron gates. “Do you think I look dark enough for them?”

Irritated with her attitude, Detox rolled her eyes, before plastering a fake smile onto her face. “Aww, for the Needleses?”

She placed a gentle hand on Roxxxy’s arm, to reassure her.

“No.” Detox finished abruptly, letting her hand fall. “Nothing is dark enough for them. Come on, they’ll be waiting. You two wait here and listen.” The last comment was directed at Phi Phi and Petra-Katya.

All but dragging Roxxxy up the path, Detox affixed a wide grin to her face and pressed the doorbell, hoping it wouldn’t snap and try to chomp on her finger as it had done once before. Thankfully, the feral button remained still, leaving Detox’s hands untouched and her smile unbroken.

“Darling, at least try to look like you want to be here.” She hissed. “They’re our last hope.”

The door swung open, revealing the Needles’ manservant, the tall and handsome Max. He seldom spoke, but Detox had seen him a few times around the home. Behind him, Sharon was watching them intently. At her serious expression, Detox let the smile fall from her face. Like any Needles family member, Sharon rarely smiled, save for the seductive, tight-lipped smirk she reserved only for her wife.

“Detox, Roxxxy, do come in. I can’t thank you enough for coming. Alaska will be delighted.”

Roxxxy simpered. “Oh, it was our pleasure.” She told her, sounding saccharine-sweet.

Sharon raised one eyebrow. “Oh, really? It was ours too.”

Leaving a puzzled Roxxxy no time to respond, Sharon turned on her heel. “Max, darling, will you help escort our guests to the seance room? You know Mama, she’s simply itching to begin.”

The tall butler first took their coats before leading them to the seance room. Both Detox and Roxxxy immediately wished they had kept them on, as the house grew colder the closer they got, but they pinned the smiles to their faces anyway.

As they entered, feeling slightly out of place, the Needles family (and guests) gathered around a large oak table, sitting in high-backed chairs as candles flickered on the walls.

“Gio, I see that axe,” Sharon chided softly, holding out her hand. Gio and Violet shared a look, and the boy handed the weapon to his mother with a sweet, innocent smile. “Now… Shall we begin?”

The participants joined hands�� all except for Max, who had been tasked with providing the mood music for the night, and was fulfilling that duty by playing sonatas on an organ. The weather outside was perfect for a seance, stormy and dark, with rolling thunder and the occasional flash of lightning. Other than the thunderclaps and Max’s organ-playing, the room was very quiet, and Jinkx started the seance with an old incantation.

“Sing, all ye spirits… Harken all souls…”

Her gravelly voice was chilling. As she spoke, Detox and Roxxxy found themselves watching the two Mrs Needles interacting. Despite the sinister setting, their unending romance seemed unperturbed by the darkness. Alaska was gazing into Sharon’s eyes as though she intended to ravish her right then and there. With a sniff, Roxxxy tried to recall the last time she had been looked at with such all-consuming lust.

Alaska gently stroked her wife’s hand, continuing. “Every year on this date, we offer a clarion call to Katya Needles. May she reveal herself at last.”

“From generation to generation, our beacon to the beyond.” Sharon smiled softly as she placed a lit candle in the centre of the table.

“Everyone close your eyes and join hands!” Jinkx instructed. Once again, Roxxxy found herself uncomfortable - though she considered herself friends with Sharon, her mother-in-law Jinkx had always seemed odd, and her daughter Violet was unnerving, to say the least. Still, she reassured herself, despite their outward appearances, they were just an elderly grandmother and a harmless young child. Nothing to fear.

“Oh, what a grip!” Jinkx exclaimed as Roxxxy took her hand, with a grasp no firmer than usual. “Ooh! Oh, my hand!”

Her frizzy, greying red hair was stood on end like the fur of a hissing cat. Looking down, she didn’t realize the source of the old woman’s yelping until she realized the hand that she was holding was no longer attached to Jinkx’s arm. Horrified, she screamed and stumbled backwards.

“The - it - how - I- hand!” She babbled, pointing in terror at the disembodied limb. Jinkx and the children fell about laughing, prompting Alaska to shake her head at their antics before cracking a smile of her own. Even Sharon had an amused smirk toying at her lips.

“Vanjie, you’re more of a handful than the children, sometimes,” she scolded. “And Mama, you know better than to scare our dear guest like that.”

Jinkx shrugged, reconnecting their hands to continue the seance. “Violet?”

The little girl nodded, more serious and still than a child had ever been. “Let us ransom you from the power of the grave. Tonight, oh Death, let us be your plague.”

A whispered, “Well done, dear,” from Sharon followed her incantation before Jinkx took over once more, chanting in an unfamiliar tongue. The room grew colder as she spoke, the darkness becoming heavier around them as though a veil shrouded the room. Goosebumps ran along any exposed flesh. Then, in an instant, all of the candles blew out in a gust of inexplicable wind.

“I sense that she’s near!”

Everybody’s eyes snapped open. There was no sign of the missing Needles sister in the room, but Alaska’s eyes were wide with hope, presumably conveying a message to Sharon, at whom she was staring at with a fiery intensity.

“Katya Needles, gather your strength!” Jinkx commanded. “Knock three times!”

The rest of the participants closed their eyes again, except for Detox. Roxxxy was about to scold her for not taking part when she noticed she was looking out of the window across the Needles estate. Somewhere in the distance, a car door shut, and Detox turned her attention back to the seance. With bated breath, the family waited to find out if this was the night that Katya Needles would finally reappear.

Boom.

Alaska almost looked as though she were in pain - her body jolted with each knock, and her face was screwed up in desperation. She couldn’t bear to get her hopes up about her sister’s return if she was not truly going to appear.

“Did you hear that? Ask again, quickly!” she demanded, her eyes sparkling. “Ask again!”

Jinkx cleared her throat. “Katya Needles! Long have you been missing, soon will you be reunited. I demand that you knock again, three times!”

Once more, Alaska gritted her teeth, her brow furrowed as she listened out between the cracking of thunder.

Boom.

At the final knock, she sprung from her chair, knocking a nearby candle and setting a piece of cloth alight. “My sister! She’s here, at our door!” Ignoring the fire, which Max was startlingly quick to put out, she all but bounded out of the room with Sharon on her tail, followed in turn by their children.

Flinging the heavy door open like it weighed nothing, Alaska was immediately confronted by two figures: a petite brunette woman wearing a raincoat, and a taller woman with a mess of black hair rivaling only her own. Sharon let out a soft gasp at her side, and when the raven-haired woman flashed an awkward smile, Alaska was sweeping her up in a bone-crushing embrace.

“It’s you,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. “Katya.”

#rpdr fanfiction #shalaska #needles family values #citrus #purecamp #lesbian au #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #violet chachki #jinkx monsoon #phi phi o'hara #katya zamolodchikova #roxxxy andrews #max malanaphy #aquaria #vanessa vanjie mateo #addams family au #detox icunt

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thankyougotham · 5 years

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Here’s an article that Film Daily wrote about Nygmobblepot. If you’d like to see them write articles about other relationships, you can contact them on Twitter and make a request. They’ve been very supportive of Gotham in general, so follow them if you’re on Twitter.

“Gotham is an innovative show based on DC Comics characters and produced by Warner Bros. The Batman origin narrative helped us rapt viewers understand how our favorite heroes (Batman) and villains (The Joker, Penguin) came to be. It also cast a light on just how Gotham City became the wretched crime-filled cesspool we all know & love.

As the fandom knows, we’re so behind the mission to Save Gothamthat it hurts, but today we’ve decided to take a break from all the activism and talk about love. Here’s why we and the Gotham fandom ship hard for Nygmobblepot, and why these fantastic felons are anyone’s perfect gateway into Gotham for people on the fence about the show.”

Sample Quotes from fans:

Mr. Millicent Cordelia

Both Ed & Oswald were transformed by love. They made sacrifices for each other & always ended up back together. They deserve, and the fans deserve to see this relationship respected as a romance on a server that understands it’s the 21st century.

Merc

Honestly because they’re both idiots and they really deserve each other.

Zoe Tomorrow

They’re two individuals who’ve spent their lives mistreated and misunderstood. They are the only ones who accept one another wholeheartedly. Together they’ve learned about trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. And no matter what they always find a way back to each other.

#PenguinSpinOff

Excellent chemistry between them, and a fun, fresh take on these old, iconic characters. They’re like peanut butter and jelly: fine on their own, but especially delightful together.

Rachel

For one, they “really are meant for each other”! They’ve been through so much and have hurt each other so many times but they’ve managed to overcome it. They have a strong bond, would do anything for each other, and somehow they always come back together!

𝕫𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒

These two men grew up misunderstood and overlooked, and learned to use that to grow. they have risen together, and make an excellent team. they have both admitted to being stronger together, and their fates always become intertwined. they’re destined to be together.

Angela

While I’m not the biggest shipper of Nygmobblepot, I do care for their happiness and for the fans who do ship them. My ship is Batcat. They are best friends as kids & love each other deeply. They always want to protect each other. They are family.

LongLiveGotham #Gotham | #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot has a long, complex history that reveals both the best and worst of these 2 characters. They have grown and learned much from the relationship. They deserve to be on a server that allows them the freedom to be a romantic couple.

Jenny i love my girlfriend

they are two men who have been abused and undermined their entire lives, but see each other as equals. they have certainly had their ups and down, but they always come back, better and stronger than ever. they understand each other more than anyone else ever has.

(not to mention how groundbreaking it would be to have two characters who have been historically heterosexual be in a romantic relationship)

Hale | 45 Days Till Neo

I’m down for anything with dear Oswald- his chaotic energy is a joy to watch, especially when it’s messing with other character such as Edward and Jim.

Scheming Minor

I am going to say something different in lieu of semantics. Technically in a sense when you get to the details they really are one of the few villain pairings portrayed in a “healthy” relationship in the Batman fandom. They progress, accept and move on; never stagnating. I included the healthy relationship chart to prove a point. Each one of those slices can be seen over the course of Riddler and Penguin’s relationship in Gotham– more so when we reach season 5. Their entire journey is about respect. Adding one more thing – Riddler has traditionally been coded as queer and flits with tentative bisexuality, meanwhile Penguin is known as a womanizer but has rare moments of ’what if’ regarding men. Gothamis one of the few Batman shows that follows through with M/M content.

kebu loves Oswald

They are both extreme individuals, but they fit together perfectly. Both are complex characters that went through life unaccepted by everyone which shaped their desire for more and their paths to becoming supervillains, so when they met it was the first time they found their equal and were accepted by someone. Their paths have been intertwined ever since, and whether they’re together or at odds, they’re always the most significant person in each other’s lives. But even though they ended up appearing together, we didn’t actually see them get “officially” together. Their story has yet to come to a close.

Riz || Professional Mr.Penn promoter

A very complex relationship that cannot be concluded in a spawn of a cut off season like it was. They have had a long journey and a perhaps even longer one before them. Their lowest and best have been shared together and they’re the one person who understand the other fully.

M/M relationships in media and tvshows especially is a rare breed. Even more is the concept of the big chance to make two comic characters and made an entirely new spin on them by being brave enough to make them queer, Oswald perhaps within the asexual spectrum at that. Ed as a tormented, abused soul who struggles with his own identiy and perhaps sexuality.

There is really so much to say, which is exactly why there need to be more to tell the rest of the story.

Vero

While Ed fights with the dichotomy within himself, he’s always felt the most whole when he’s been all-encompassed by Oswald’s world and care. Oswald found compassion and acceptance for all the parts that Ed thought were not loved. They are twin souls that deserve a longer story.There’s always been a complexity to both of them, and they understand the extremes that have made them into the people they are. There is no desire to change the other, only bring out the best in one another and a comfort shared that’s so important.

madi

I feel as though they have stories that extend beyond what Gothamwas able to show through their 5 seasons. Especially with the 5th season being half of its normal length. They mean so much to me, and so many others, and I would love to see even more of them (1/2)

(2/2) and to be able to see Gotham’s depiction of Ed’s backstory, an explanation for the whole Isabella fiasco (like how is she even possible) and a plot line where Ed saves Oswald. We haven’t had any of those since s2/early s3 and I need that in my life. I miss them so much.

Evan

Not only off the charts chemistry, but near similar backgrounds also. Both Ed & Oswald were abandoned by their parents, and had to fight the world their whole lives. Then brought them together and they’ve been unstoppable ever since.

Suzy Dakroub

Because they have the best character development and bond I’ve ever seen on a show! They both truly have no one but eachother. For villains where it’s rare to see compassion and love, these two have it for each other and it’s so wholesome and sweet.

Frothy

it’s the first LGBT representation in such a major franchise on TV! it was taken from us once, twice, but there won’t be a third. i will produce season 6 in my basement with tze and my best friend if i must

Warrior_Of_Loyalty

REPRESENTATION!!! Seriously, there’s nothing quite like it. Oswald and Edward deserve a wedding and a musical episode to go with it. Because, if Arthur’s teacher can get married on TV why not The Penguin and The Riddler!? Please!! Make it happen!

𝕻𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖎𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 ||

Because they are two characters who have been physically and emotionally abused most of their lives, and even after all of their hardships and turmoil, found love and trust and safety in one another

Azura Lynn Paulin

Because they never got to become a real couple on screen and they deserve to have that chance at happiness

MamaDev

Their chemistry, specifically between Robin Lord Taylor & Cory Michael Smith, is incredibly entertaining and heart warming to watch. It makes my whole day, of not, week better when I see them interacting on screen. FOX did not do them justice by keeping them in the closet.

Queen C

Because their story is FAR from over. Cory and Robin’s skills and chemistry shouldn’t be squandered. We had 5 years of their story buildup and got crapped on in the final episode, and I deserve my #BisexualRiddler!!!

Bandi [Gotham/Good Omens Spoilers] #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot truly is such an interesting ship. As singular characters they are great, but together, they shine. They’re complex, damaged characters and take comfort in each other. Their journey is a long, painful one, but they deserve and compliment each other. It makes sense.

Anders

They are truly self confident with each other, anything becomes possible. They don’t need any cane.

They have each other.

Mae

they just have such strong chemistry and are so much better together than apart. their relationship constantly evolved throughout Gotham, becoming the main driving force for their individual developments too and… they were just made for each other okay

Tam Loves Kris @ Resting in Home

I see a lot of myself and my partner@MisterPenguinin the#Nygmobblepotship and I feel that their relationship is very well developed with lots of ups and downs and it’s fate that they are both meant for each other.

Kat Shade

With all of the characters that had amazing chemistry on Gotham, the main three had to be nygmobblepot, wayleska, and babitha. Nygmobblepot have been through so much together, and besides how revolutionary and amazing it would be for a show based on two previously heterosexual characters in a homosexual relationship, they simply work amazingly together.

#Gotham #nygmobblepot #Film Daily

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yourfanvivitran · 4 years

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It should come as no surprise that John Carpenter and Dan O’Bannon were students in the same film class, that they created Dark Star together, and that they both had a great affinity for 1951’s The Thing From Another World. If you put Ridley Scott’s Alien, which O’Bannon wrote, next to Carpenter’s The Thing, the parallels cannot be contended. A group of people, bound together almost exclusively by their careers, are isolated and trapped in their own environment with a murderous monster. One by one, they are picked off by this alien beast and are forced to pull out all the stops just to survive. The tension in both movies is suffocating. The suspense stays well after the credits roll.

So, why did Alien excel and why did The Thing fail?

Alien was heralded as a science fiction-horror masterpiece, raking in over $200 million at the box office. The Thing, although now recognized as one of Carpenter’s best films to rival even the likes of Halloween, barely exceeded its $15 million budget by $4 million. What’s more is that critics panned The Thing almost unanimously after its 1982 release. And to what point?

When you compare the 2 movies, it objectively doesn’t make much sense. When you sit down and watch The Thing, without even thinking of its much more popular predecessor, it still doesn’t quite add up. There is not much I can say about The Thing that hasn’t already been said before. It’s well-known, now - the writing, the acting, the practical effects, the cinematography? Masterfully done. No arguments. So what went wrong?

The most popularly accepted explanation was that it just wasn’t the right year for it. In 1982, The Thing had to contend with the Summer of Spielberg, being critiqued alongside horror giant Poltergeist and science fiction treasure E.T. How could a stark and grim story of distrust and gore stand alongside such beloved classics?

But in tandem with these films and also calling back to the success of Alien, Carpenter cites reception from various focus groups: they hated the ending.

It should be assumed at this point that if you have not yet seen The Thing, you are sorely missing out. All the same, however, be wary of spoilers.

The end of The Thing is bitter, to put it lightly. Childs (Keith David) trudges through Antarctic snow, lit by the burning wreckage of Outpost 31, towards R.J. MacReady (Kurt Russel) who sits alone, already half buried. They observe their inevitable deaths, and drink to the supposed demise of their shapeshifting predator.

A lot is left out to die in the snow.

According to Carpenter, this ending was seen by test audiences as too dismal. And rightfully so, when you take into consideration the other popular releases of 1982. Carol Anne is ultimately saved, along with the rest of her family, at the end of Poltergeist. Elliot embraces E.T. before he finally returns home. And going further back, even Ripley is able to escape the xenomorph by the skin of her teeth and secure herself the title as one of the greatest “Final Girls” ever put to the silver screen.

And what of MacReady and Childs?

Well, that’s up to your imagination, Carpenter told a test audience member who asked who the final host was at the end of the movie.

“Oh, god. I hate that,” they responded.

As a writer, this loose ends style of concluding a story is almost expected from a lot of modern works. It’s written this way in order to haunt the reader, to linger and adhere itself to the real world in the most sardonic of ways. Think Joyce Carol Oates’s “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” or Flannery O’Connor’s “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” This almost anticlimactic close of the curtain arrived in the literary world long before it found its place in film, but it’s a big point of contention in mainstream criticism.

Dark or incomplete conclusions have been met with the most scathing of responses. Beware the black cutaway of Sopranos fame. Or the near-universal outcry against the third Mass Effect game that grew so much, the developers created a morsel of DLC content that maybe kind of confirmed a more optimistic fate for our dear Shepard.

But even for the horror genre, The Thing seemed unprecedented. The only fate darker to fall upon a mainstream protagonist was Ben’s untimely death in Night of the Living Dead. The tragedy of both movies is palpable - all this trouble to survive against inhuman killers, all this trouble to outlive something gruesome and maybe even make the world a better place, and what was left to show for it?

In short, Carpenter’s science fiction terror was too much of a bummer.

I personally did not take much of a liking to horror until much later in life. My parents didn’t filter the media I consumed as much as they probably should have, and I was scarred early on by movies as cheesy and entertaining as The Lost Boys and Blade. It wasn’t until late adolescence and into college that I set out to catch up.

My roommate at the time of this resolution had been a fan of horror her whole life, her favorites being Halloween, Candyman, and The Thing. Having already known a good deal about the former two, I decided to strap in for The Thing for the first time ever.

These days, I always have several soap boxes on retainer, just waiting for the next unwitting recipient of my usually-beer-induced rants. Brian Jones was killed, Jaws single handedly endangered sharks, banning books is a stupid practice, representation in media is important, etc. Predictably, one of these soap boxes is the general lack of appreciation of The Thing, both at the time of its release and today (it does not even make the top 100 on Rotten Tomatoes’s highest rated horror movies).

And yet, at the same time, if The Thing had achieved the credit it deserved upon release, I may not like it as much as I do today.

I make a point to not read too much about movies I am feverishly anticipating, and revel in the feeling of going into a well-known movie knowing as little as possible. Most of the time, it makes for the best viewing experience, but I’m sure I don’t even have to point this out.

This was my experience seeing The Thing for the first time. I was on winter break, staying at my parents’ house for the holidays. Everyone else had gone to bed, and I stayed up late in the living room, curled up under layers of blankets, content in perfect darkness save for the television.

I had no idea what to expect, as I had not been spoiled by any TV show making any blatant references and had not done any prior reading into the film itself. And I was absolutely delighted from beginning to end.

What stays with me the most is the special effects. It’s true what they say - that practical effects hold up better than CGI alone. And the production team didn’t cut any corners in this department. Stan Winston and his team, who were later responsible for the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, helped construct one of the best animatronics in the movie. Rob Bottin, who brought this constantly-morphing creature to life from conception to every last slimy detail, went on to be hailed as a genius in his special effects career. And there is definitely something to be said for the work of cinematographer Dean Cundey whose masterful control of lighting and framing is best seen in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

The extent of my knowledge of the titular creature was that it was an alien. That it was an alien who could consume multiple life forms and take on their shapes was both exciting and terrifying. There’s creative genius in this premise that thrills the science fiction lover in me, and also fascinates the bookworm in me. I had been a fan of Agatha Christie novels as a teenager, and to see a new and outrageous take on the And Then There Were None structure was incredibly novel to me.

The appeal wasn’t just that there was something out there, lying in wait to torturously pick off it’s victims one-by-one. It was that it could have been anyone.

At its core, horror as we know it has deep roots in whodunnit style murder mystery. With the rise of the giallo and the sensation of the slasher, horror movies of this nature are far from uncommon and can be seen as late as 1996 with the Scream franchise. Carpenter himself spurned a new kind of fear with his breakout success with Halloween by refusing to give a bodily face to its main antagonist. Here, with The Thing, he takes the eponymous killer character to the next level by giving it the genetically inherent function of deceiving its prey. Not knowing the true face of your murderer has proven to be inherently bone-chilling.

Even now, hundreds of horror movies under my belt later and still constantly learning, I keep coming back to The Thing. I really cannot think of another movie in my wide array of favorites that I love more than The Thing, and I truly believe it has everything to do with me not knowing anything about it upon my first viewing. Every other movie I can name on my (similar to the subject) constantly changing top 10 list of most beloved horror flicks was, at some point, spoiled for me in some capacity.

Think of how often the twins in The Shining are referenced in cartoons, of all the head spinning jokes made in reference to The Exorcist. Anthony Hopkins’s portrayal of Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs has become so infamous, that I knew his dialogue (and Buffalo Bill’s) long before I ever saw the movie in full.

I don’t blame these references for ruining these movies. As a super fan, I understand that compulsion to pay tribute. It’s no one’s fault and to their credit that these films take lives of their own. But the repercussions don’t age well in terms of initial viewing experiences.

All that being said, I truly cherish how much I was not exposed to this movie. The unpredictability of the creature and the quiet, looming despair that comes with it create a horror unlike any other.

Although it was a box office flop, The Thing is now a welcome and praised name in both science fiction and horror. Even Quentin Tarantino made it known that The Hateful Eight was primarily inspired on several fronts by Carpenter’s underrated work. However, it has not pervaded pop culture like so many other horror classics have left their indelible mark on film vernacular. And to that end, I hope it remains in that slight shadow of anonymity for all future enthusiasts.

#john carpenter #the thing #alien #horror #horror movie #horror film #horror genre

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rainythefox · 5 years

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Oh, Brother (RDR2 Fanfic Ch.1)

Summary: 1885, Illinois. A young Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur wander into a country town following a lead to swindle a wealthy homestead and break their control over the town. But while scoping it out, Arthur encounters a young John Marston, setting fate in motion that will eventually become a rocky, yet loyal brotherhood. A short multi-chapter fic revolving around how Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur met John, further developing what would eventually become the Van der Linde gang. Rated T for language, some violence, drinking/drugs and mischief. It will mostly be Frienship/Family and Humor, but there will be Action/Adventure with some violence!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Red Dead Redemption franchise, Rockstar, or its characters, etc. This is just for fun.

Chapter 1

"I did no such thing."

Hosea's tone was playful as he rubbed a hand through his light-blond hair before placing a hat upon his head. Dutch made a sound nearby, a mix between a chuckle and a snort as he spurred his horse to canter alongside them.

"Oh, dear brother, don't play sly with me. Even Arthur can see straight through your façade. That much is painfully clear."

"His what?" Arthur drawled, shaking his head, already impatient. "Are we lost or not?"

"I may have slightly got us off course."

"Hosea, you said it was due southeast of the camp."

"Southeast?" Arthur grunted, glaring at Dutch. "Bessie said southwest."

"Did she?" Hosea asked, glancing over his shoulder at the path behind them. "Huh, that explains a lot."

They halted their horses on the road, Arthur voicing his displeasure with a groan. Dutch wheezed a laugh beside him. A gust of wind brushed by, plains surrounding them. The same, dull prairie had been their only scenery for the couple hour ride they've done.

"My friend the master con artist, horrible with directions."

Hosea waved them off. "I haven't been down this way in ten goddamn years. What do you expect? And every blade of grass looks the same."

"Next time maybe you should stay behind, old man, an' we can bring Bessie instead," Arthur said.

"Very funny, my boy."

"Jus' sayin'."

"Now come on, son, where is the fun in that? We couldn't get into quite as much trouble with 'ol Bessie and Susan around."

"That's the point!" Arthur looked around. "Can we move? I feel exposed here."

"We're exposed everywhere," Dutch replied. "What, you missing Chicago?"

"Hell no!"

"Okay then."

"We got company," Hosea announced.

A wagon pulled by two draft horses met them on the road, coming from behind them. The wagon was full of produce, skins, and other materials. Two men rode in the front while two sat in the back, and all four were armed. Arthur was quick to notice the men's suspicious glares as they rode up on them.

Dutch cleared his throat. "Let me handle this." And directed his horse over to the wagon. The men got their repeaters ready, but Arthur knew Dutch's charm would pacify them easily.

"Hello, gentlemen! My dear friend, his nephew, and I are sight seeing 'round these parts. Decided to get away from Chicago for a bit, and got a little lost. They're as stubborn as mules asking for directions. We're trying to find the town of Andell, could you so kindly point us in the right direction?"

"Andell?" the older man echoed, eyebrows furrowing. He scratched at his full beard. "That's across the river. You a ways off, pal. Ya'll have to head back yonder to Canker Point and take the trail to the river and find the 'ol run down station before headin' west into Andell."

Dutch smiled, a hand to his chest as he dipped his head. "Thank you, friend. You may have saved our necks."

"Not sure why ya boys would wanna go to Andell though," the older man continued. "Fire took out most of it 'bout a year ago or so. It's not near as populated as it was."

Arthur sighed. Well, there went their chance at poking around for jobs. The young man slouched atop his horse, but Hosea didn't break his "hello, I'm a polite gentleman and harmless" expression. Dutch didn't show any falter to the news.

"Is that right? That's quite a shame. I was hoping to surprise an 'ol friend down this way. He's from Chicago too. Had ambitions to start up a livery stable in these parts, if I remember correctly."

One of the younger men in the back of the wagon perked up. He looked to be in his early twenties just like Arthur, only wasn't near as large and sturdy as he was. "Oh, we know that feller. You talkin' 'bout a Mister Galligan right?"

A sly smirk eased on Dutch's face. "Why yes, that's him. I hope he is well?"

"He moved over to the town of Hickory, which is where we're headin'."

Dutch glanced back at his older partner-in-crime, their subtle exchange something only the two of them understood. Dutch turned back to the travelers.

"Why, you fellas are our saving grace today. May we join you on your ride to Hickory?"

The older wagon driver glanced at his passengers then back to Dutch. "Sure. We don't want no trouble though."

Dutch eased their new traveling companions with a gentle laugh, a hand to his chest. "You'll get no such thing from us. Well, except for my brooding friend right there, he's a little grumpy at times."

Arthur gave Dutch a look. He and Hosea trotted alongside the wagon with Dutch as it followed the road to Hickory. Arthur stayed quiet, letting Dutch and Hosea sweet-talk the wagon riders and only talking when spoken to. It wasn't long before Hosea was drawing them in with some humorous story about a faulty fishing trip while portraying one of his many personas.

The wagon riders laughed and after that they were a lot more open and talkative, which is exactly what Dutch and Hosea wanted. Arthur heard the exchange of names, the aliases that his mentors chose this time around. The wagon driver, Hester, and his son, and the other two men were ranch hands for a wealthy homesteader family within the area. They explained how the Warrens were strict and hard to work for, how they used their prosperity to take over the town of Hickory.

Their complaints and frankness drove Dutch and Hosea to exchange knowing smirks with each other. Arthur knew them well enough to know that an idea was hatching. He swore it was like the two men could read each other's thoughts at times. He didn't quite understand it.

After traveling together on the road for an hour, the town of Hickory came into view. It was a bit smaller than what they were used to in scouting for jobs, but it would do. It was average, nothing quite unique stood out to Arthur, and he noticed the typical stores, homes, and dirt roads. The small town seemed to be quite populated, however. Men, women, and children walked the streets, some hollered out to others. Horseback riders and those on wagons kept the roads busy with traffic.

"Now this is quite a town you have here, Mister Foll," Hosea said. "Ya know, I think I've been here years before, and well, seems to have grown considerably."

"I'm sure it ain't nothin' like what you boys are used to in Chicago, but it's an alright town. The Warrens are to thank for its growth, but since they've taken over most stores and businesses, prices have gone up and, well, there're far more poor folk than there should be."

"Such a shame," Dutch said, dark eyes already scanning for opportunities.

"Anyways, this is where we go our separate ways, we gotta get these supplies to Mister Warren. You fellas be careful. Hickory has a thievin’ problem. Ya'll find your friend Mister Galligan on the far side of town at the stables."

Hosea and Dutch waved them off as the wagon turned down a different road. Dutch turned his horse to face Hosea and Arthur as they looked over the town before them. The town was surrounded by more plains, a forest not far to the west. Besides the stores and houses, there were also livestock barns and pens. It looked to be mostly sheep and pigs here.

"Smell that gentlemen?"

"Yeah, smells like shit," Arthur grumbled.

"No, opportunities, Arthur. Did you not pay attention?" Dutch said, shaking his head.

"Aw c'mon, Dutch. There ain't nothin' here. I betchu that Mister Galligan lost all that money. Why else would he leave the city? He gon' have worse men than us after him."

Hosea chuckled. "He left because he has the money, you sulky buffoon. You still upset about what happened?"

"It weren't my fault."

"We never said it was, son."

"Eh, it wasn't that big of a loss anyway. We've been doing this for eight years, Arthur. Some jobs just don't pan out. Best to get over it," Hosea explained.

"Sure."

"Let's hit the saloon. I'm parched. We can discuss some ideas there, get a feel of the town," Dutch ordered, spurring his horse into a trot.

"Okay, Dutch," Hosea answered.

Arthur rode behind his mentors. They hitched their horses outside the small saloon. Inside, several folks drank and laughed away. The voices bounced through the walls, and Arthur scanned the room, the faces, the behaviors. It looked like there would be no trouble.

Dutch got them some drinks and they talked to the side, watching the townsfolk drink and chatter away.

Dutch and Hosea stood out amongst most of the people. They always wore nicer clothes, Dutch especially. Dutch had grown a mustache in the past couple years and kept it trimmed and neat, but Hosea remained clean-shaven as always. Despite Hosea being nearly twelve years older than Dutch, his eyes shown with the same youth, the same passion and ambition.

Arthur himself had grown considerably since they found him eight years ago. No longer a lanky, dirty teenager, he bulked up some and now had some scruff on his face. He wasn't as rowdy or impolite as he was when they first found him, the typical orphan delinquent. Although, he kept Dutch and Hosea on their toes with his sarcastic, often cynical nature.

His clothes weren't near as kept and clean as his mentors', but he often had the dirtier jobs. He finally could wear his father's hat without it swallowing his head. He may have not have liked his blood father too much, but he sure as hell liked his hat.

"Seems like good people here," Dutch said finally. "I'm quite interested about these Warrens our talkative friends spoke of."

"They didn't shut up once you charmed them," Hosea joked. "I'm curious though."

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Hosea grinned and Arthur rolled his eyes. "I thought we was here for Mister Galligan, not these Warren folks?"

Dutch patted him on the back. "If you'd paid attention on our humble ride into town, you would've heard the plight of our friends. The Warrens sound like your typical wealthy overlords of the region. Can you imagine what we could take from them?"

Hosea took a shot, letting the bartender give him another. "I'll look into the Warrens, see what I can find. Dutch, you've been wanting a crack at Mister Galligan for three weeks. Maybe you should go check that out?"

Dutch took his own shot, puffing from its bitterness. "Sure. I mean, if you’re confident you can handle some hillbilly homesteaders who think they run this place?"

"You offend me, sir," Hosea mocked.

Dutch laughed. "Well, Arthur. How about you survey the town? See what else there is that we can take advantage of?"

"Sure, Dutch." Arthur raised his glass and gulped it down, hissing at the burn. "Jus' don't leave me here. I'd love to see Miss Grimshaw and Misses Matthews tan both yer hides once this is over."

Dutch lit a cigar as they headed out of the saloon. "Knowing them, they're getting into their own trouble."

Arthur laughed. "No doubt!"

Dutch bowed once they were outside. "I bid you adieu, my dear brothers. See you soon."

"Hey, make sure you drag 'em behind a horse when you're through with 'em!" Arthur hollered.

"Shh," Hosea hissed, a hand going to the younger man's shoulder. "Don't give him any ideas."

"He's the one with the ideas, I'm jus' sayin'! That fool ruined our last job outside Chicago. Nearly broke my goddamn neck."

"We aren't here for revenge. We don't do that. We're here for his money, that's all. The job just didn't go as planned, Arthur. We're outta here once it's done, alright?"

Hosea was always able to settle him with his calm words and caring, wise eyes. "Yeah, sure."

Hosea smiled, patting Arthur's arm. "Alright. Well, get out there, boy, and see what you can find. We'll meet back here later."

Hosea went his own way in town. Arthur heaved a sigh, looking about. Time to get to work, he guessed. Straightening his hat, he stepped away from the saloon over to his horse.

"You be good, fella," Arthur said, patting the bay gelding's neck.

The next few hours, Arthur spent his time going into businesses and stores, getting the feel of the people and the town of Hickory. He eavesdropped on any interesting conversations his ears picked up. Apparently, the Warrens had a livestock auction every Thursday. It was something they could look into.

Later, he overheard the Warrens had some kind of cellar behind one of their barns that they always kept locked up and guarded. This piqued Arthur's interest, and he was excited to tell Dutch and Hosea about it.

While he waited for his father figures to return to him, he leaned on a hitch near their horses smoking a cigarette. He nodded and waved at passersby, just to keep up a friendly appearance. The town of Hickory must've had strangers coming and going a lot, because the townsfolk barely paid him any mind. Arthur liked that.

"Hey, Mister!"

Arthur turned around, only to see the body of a young boy flying through the air. The boy crashed into him, throwing Arthur onto his back, the wind knocked out of him from the kid's legs slamming his gut.

"Oof! What the hell?!" He coughed.

The boy had dark hair, and laughed as he cut his satchel strap, taking it and the hat atop Arthur's head before dashing off. Arthur scrambled to his feet, anger coming over him as he realized he had just been robbed by a damn kid.

"Get back here, you little shit!"

He chased after the boy as he took an alleyway between two stores. He looked to be around eleven or twelve, although Arthur could tell he was scrawny for his age. His hair fell past his chin in greasy dark locks, and his clothes were tattered and dirty.

For being small and thin, the kid could run fast and was nimble, ducking and swerving out of Arthur's grasp each time he went to snatch him. He knew the town well, weaving through people and farm equipment. Arthur barreled his way through folks, keeping the boy in his sights.

The boy climbed up and ran along a fence top before jumping into a pig pen and cutting away. Arthur heaved himself over, kicking and yelling at pigs to get through.

"I'm gonna wring yer neck! Com'ere, boy!"

"Catch me if ya can, ya big oaf!" He had a distinct, raspy voice.

The kid ducked under another wood fence. Arthur vaulted over it seconds later. He kept at the boy's heels, but the slippery little heathen would only veer away, using obstacles and people to stop Arthur. He jumped and grabbed onto a moving wagon as Arthur came back out into the street. Arthur ran after him on foot, the boy laughing.

"Nah nah, ya can't catch me. Why don'tchu give up?"

"Stop that wagon, mister! Ya got a little monster on the back of it!"

The wagon driver turned around at the holler, pulling on the reins to stop the horses. The boy ditched the wagon and darted for another building, Arthur cut him off. He blocked the boy's path, keeping his body as a barrier as he tried to get around him. The boy dove through his legs and got up and scampered off once more.

"Stop, ya little thief!"

As he came around the corner, huffing, the boy was finally caught. Like a little wild animal, he fought Hosea's hold. Hosea tried to calm the boy down. Arthur, jaw clenched, came over and snatched his satchel back. But just as he was about to grab his hat, the boy kicked Hosea in the groin. Hosea yelped, letting the boy go and he escaped.

"Ugh, so much for a polite introduction," Hosea groaned, holding himself.

Arthur, still annoyed, couldn't help but to laugh at the sight. "He got ya too, huh? Little shit was as slippery as the devil." Then Arthur realized the small thief still had his hat. "He got my goddam hat!"

Hosea grabbed him as he started after the boy once more. "Forget it, Arthur. We'll find him. Don't worry."

The boy was probably long gone anyway.

Dutch arrived shortly after. He took in their disheveled appearance, the pained scowl on Hosea's face as he gripped his crotch and Arthur's huffing breaths as he dusted himself off, mumbling a whole range of curses. Arthur reached into his satchel to make sure his journal was still intact. He was relieved to see it was.

Dutch raised his eyebrows. "What the hell did I miss?"

"You don't want to know," Hosea said, finally standing up straight.

"Got robbed by a goddam kid."

Dutch chuckled, earning him a glare from Arthur. "You mean a little bumpkin got the best of you, Arthur? My boy, come now!"

"Not funny, Dutch. He still has my damn hat. And well, damaged Hosea's tallywags."

Hosea wheezed. "I'm fine."

"Come on, we should head back to camp. Got some planning to do," Dutch said.

"But my hat!"

"We'll get it back, Arthur. We're gonna stick around a few days. We will see that brat again, no doubt," Hosea assured.

Arthur groaned. "Fine."

"I leave you both for a few hours and a child wreaks havoc on both your prides. What ever am I going to do with you two?"

"Easy for you to say. You didn't get kicked where it counts," Hosea huffed.

"Low blow, huh Hosea?"

"Hah, you're funny, dear friend."

Dutch feigned innocence, motioning to himself. "It's not my fault you two provide me opportunities for such jokes."

"If I don't get my hat back, I'm siccing Miss Grimshaw on that little heathen."

Hosea chortled. "Dear god, Arthur. The boy doesn't deserve that much torture."

The three of them laughed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932513/chapters/39785013

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13143281/1/Oh-Brother

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 fanfiction #red dead redemption 2 fanfic #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfiction #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #john marston #fanfiction #fanfic #short story #have some goddamn faith #i have a plan

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brendancorris · 6 years

Text

Rise of the TMNT initial review

I gave my first thoughts on the visuals, creative choices, and general backlash from the community for Rise of the TMNT, the latest cartoon for the Heroes in a Half Shell back when they were first unveiled. As some may remember, I generally was positive and supportive of the new direction. There were some changes I was a bit unsure about, but generally I was fine with it.

Now, five episodes have been released to the public, and I’ve watched a bit. So, I feel, since I’ve been a hardcore TMNT fan for about 29 years, it only makes sense that I share my thoughts for any who may care.

Before I get to my overall opinion of the show, though, I would like to go over each aspect individually. Let’s start with one of the most controversial topics - the art style and animation. I feel the need to once again highlight that they’re different things, as people always seem to forget this when talking about these topics. Animation is the movement exclusively. So, as for the art style, I like it. It’s very sharp, loud, and energetic. There is so much expression in the faces and bodies of every character. The action poses are wonderful. I especially love the expressions of Don. His eyebrows really add to his look, and his cocky, judgmental expressions add a lot of comedy to the character.

The designs are certainly different. Raph is ginormous, Leo has a fannypack, and so on. Honestly, I got over the designs very quickly. Again, the designs of the four turtles are extremely expressive, and it is nice to see so much variety between them for a change. As for other returning characters, Splinter will take some getting used to. Maybe if he didn’t look so much like a hamster I’d be fine with his design. I don’t really have a problem with his build, I just think that Splinter’s identifying long snout should have been in the design. But April, holy crap, I love this April design. She is so adorable. I was on the fence about her design originally, but once I saw her in action, it quickly became my favorite Rise design, only tied with Don’s.

As for the new characters, I have mixed feelings. A handful of the mutants have really cool designs, like Repo Mantis (my favorite), Hypnopotomus, and Meat Sweats. But then there’s other new characters like the lead villain, voiced by John Cena, who I just feel has a very generic modern cartoon villain design. He looks like a throw away villain in a comedy sketch parodying Saturday morning cartoons. I’m also not a fan of that catdog thingy April has. It looks like a Pokemon. Doesn’t belong in TMNT in my opinion.

But the animation is pretty gorgeous. It does get very choppy sometimes, which I honestly do find a bit disorienting since at other times, the animation is beautifully fluent and alive. I do wish the animation almost always stayed that fluent, but I understand how extremely time consuming animation can be, especially when working with such highly detailed characters, and considering that when the animation is fluent, it’s REALLY good, so I cut them a break. The action scenes are truly amazing to watch. The backgrounds are also very stylish, colorful, and just nice to look at.

While I do think the 2012 show was an amazing TMNT series, I did always find it a bit visually lacking. So I’m glad to see this one do the visuals so well.

Now, I guess I’ll talk about the writing, plot, and characters. As all of you likely know by now, we do not see the origin of the turtles or how they met April. While I can definitely understand why they would leave this out from a marketing standpoint (no reason to make a new TMNT show with limited episodes for preview and just go through the same story we’ve seen 100 times and give us nothing new to look forward to) I do hope we see it eventually. It is a pivotal part of the TMNT world, and is especially necessary now that this is a brand new TMNT for a whole new generation, and is reinventing the lore in many ways.

The show, obviously, is geared more towards smaller children, which I’m totally cool with. Not only did TMNT bring me a lot of happiness at that age, but I also like to see more franchises for kids. There seems to be a big push for cartoons to be more “adult” these days, but I still feel lots of them should be for kids. We live in an age where toys and cartoons are being primarily made for adults. Kids need media too, and TMNT has proved extremely popular with little kids for 30 years. The show still manages to be legitimately funny more than I expected, and, honestly, has a lot of wit and sarcasm that will likely only tickle the older audiences.

The story-telling is a bit all over the place and ultra-fast-paced, but it’s pretty good, again, with the child’s perspective in mind. It has a lot more action than I think most of us thought, and that is done really well. The characters, however, seem to be another huge point of controversy among the fans. My personal favorites so far are Don and April (yes, same two favorites as physical designs). Don’s such a smug brainiac and April’s so feisty and spunky, it’s adorable. But many things like Raph being the leader, Leo being the cool hot shot, and Splinter being seemingly a lazy couch potato, have a lot of fans in a frenzy. I will admit, Leo being a hot shot smart ass is still taking me time to warm up to, and Raph does feel odd as a leader. There doesn’t really seem to be any reason for the Turtles to have him as the leader other than the fact that he’s the biggest.

However, it does seem obvious that they are working up to something. The turtles, quite amusingly, are terrible ninja at the start of the show. They’re clumsy, inexperienced, and just horrible at making plans. There does seem to be a running theme of Raph’s plans being awful and Leo’s working. It does in fact seem like they are starting off more fresh, then evolving towards a more familiar setup. Even the presence of Foot soldiers implies the coming of Shredder possibly. And that brings me to my only real concern.

While I know this show is not being made for 87 shellheads like myself, I do kind of wish there was more TMNT material in the show. It seems to be trying as hard as it can to stray from traditional TMNT series that it could end up straying too far to the point of it being irrelevant to the franchise. I’m all for changes, all for new art direction, all for new characters, all for character re-imaginings, and so on, but it would be nice to see some returning aspects, like Shredder, Baxter Stockman, Rat King, Casey Jones, the Technodrome or some of the Turtles’ famous vehicles. I would absolutely love to see how Rocksteady and Bebop would look in this style too.

I’m a bit iffy about the episodes. I don’t think they’re bad, but the pacing in some is a bit all over the place, and one episode in particular seemed like a tired premise. The episode I’m referring to has the Turtles in a Chuck E. Cheese’s type locale with an evil animatronic bear coming to life and battling them. If this sounds familiar, you’ve either played Five Nights at Freddy’s, or, more specifically for my argument here, have seen the episode of Gravity Falls, “Soos and the Real Girl”. It was one of the most popular and funny episodes of the Disney XD cartoon, but it seems to be a premise that is continually done in modern cartoons. Just last year, the 2017 Duck Tales (which, although pretty good, I feel pulls a little too much inspiration from Gravity Falls) did a story involving a Chuck E. Cheese setting, and now Rise is doing it as well, with pretty much the same twist Gravity Falls did. While it is a funny premise, I do wish cartoonists would avoid doing it so often as it’s already been done successfully before.

So let’s get to the bottom of this. How do I feel all around? I think it’s pretty good. Like I said, it’s not my turtles, but my turtles had the entire late 80s and early to mid 90s already. It had its time, made me and thousands of other kids happy beyond reason, and made the franchise as big as it is today. It did everything it needed to do. I’m happy to see new generations get their own new forms of TMNT. I’m just glad that my favorite franchise ever is not only still relevant, but still a quality product, too. Simply put - I support Rise of the TMNT.

Still hoping we see some more classic characters and tech show up, though.

And pretty soon, yes, I’ll address a certain Netflix reboot of a series near and dear to me that has been making A LOT of noise on the internet lately. Until then, check out the available episodes of Rise if you haven’t already and decide how you feel about it.

#tmnt #Brendan Corris #BrendanCorris #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #nickelodeon #review

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