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decolonize-the-left · 2 years

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The discussion on whiteness y'all are having makes a lot of sense and resonates with my experience as a white person as well. As a disabled queer person whilst I still very much experience white privilege, I very much feel like abled cishet white people think I'm doing whiteness wrong.

And I'd say if there was a "white culture" it'd hinge entirely on appearances. I cannot speak for people of color who struggle with their parents but my experience and a lot of experiences I know from white people with toxic/abusive parents they have to look and feel like very good people like it goes beyond just wanting to appeal to others to avoid consequences the like worst thing you can do in a white family is be honest about anything?

In my own family we all hate each other and always have hated each other and still we coexist in a way that protects all of us and makes things easier for us and I think that on a wider scale that's how whiteness operates and also why when white people emphasize how much they hate other white people that's completely meaningless because like. Yeah of course you do we all very much hate each other but that doesn't mean that we aren't complicit in whiteness because of the ways it benefits us? When you're white then the white people around you fully expect that even if you despised every inch of them that you would defend them if they were being racist or will be complicit in their actions just out of sheer obligation to whiteness.

I think that part of the reason the ways marginalized white people experience oppression tends to be a lot more emotional manipulation and gaslighting + infantilization rather than outward aggression/hostility is because if we have a community/culture not tied to our race that gives us actual loyalties and will make us start to criticize whiteness and then things all start to fall apart.

Especially if you're white american the last thing any white person wants you to have is a semblance of genuine culture, if you're disabled and queer and other things that they want to portray as being a nonwhite and "lesser" thing they will go to lengths to either convince you that you aren't those things at all, to minimize things to say well at least you're not like Others (see: additionally marginalized people of color), and if that fails to take their autonomy in such a way that they can eliminate the potential threat. (e.g white people with visible enough psychotic symptoms are highly likely to be incarcerated in psych wards and physically harmed by authorities but those of us who are able to mask our psychosis do not experience the same level of violence at all)

And I think this is really evident when you look at marginalized communities and how white people tend both to dominate discussions and also to minimize that marginalization a lot of white autistic people who arent visibly autistic enough to have to fight for any semblance of autonomy tend to paint autism as being this purely good and special thing where you just have special interests and are a little confused sometimes and are so empathetic(tm)

When you start questioning whiteness too other white people start to treat you a whole lot differently, when I started to notice my own and my family's racist behaviors as a teenager who finally had access to listen to POC talk about their experience and pointed these out to my family I very quickly became mistrusted by them, they stopped telling me important things and would say that clearly I was not interested in participating with family activities and clearly didn't love them. It's like, once you "betray whiteness" you can't really come back from that and I think that's why so many white marginalized people are such aggressive bootlickers because they've never had a loving/genuine sense of community so they think once they're alienated from whiteness that there will be nothing for them because they've never felt genuinely wanted or cared for outside of that.

Of course that's what whiteness wants white people to think, they want us to be afraid of connecting with nonwhite people because if we realize that there are rich cultures that we can connect with unrelated to our whiteness and that we can and will have plenty of genuine connections with POC in our communities and this idea that we're so hated for being white that only other white people could accept us and it's us white people against the world is white supremacist propaganda then white power starts to fall apart.

I don't have anything to add at all, like yeah. Esp that last part?

Because if white supremacists don't have white allyship backing them then they have nothing. Nothing. That's where their white power comes from.

They'd lose all ability to affect our politics, climate, healthcare, etc.

#asked #answered #whiteness #white supremacy

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narcatsisst · 4 months

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a rant about how fucking ANNOYING my ex was when it came to my npd (even though HE HAD BPD HIMSELF) ok so first off, he was the one to help me realize i probably had bpd. and it was NICE because i was figuring things out abuot myself and i felt like i could talk to him and i was being really open. but after a bit i started feeling weird with the label, and i was noticing that i had a lot of symptoms that didnt match up with bpd, so i started researching other pds, which led me to NPD. but i had a lot of internalized ableism around the idea. so i pushed it inside myself and bottled it up, until i saw something frmo someone with NPD that i related to so deeply that i couldnt push it down anymore so i started doing more research on npd and looked at experiences from people with npd. and it made sense! it made so much sense and looking through tumblr seeing stuff from ppl with npd that were proud of their npd and were open about it and were so similar to me made me happy. so i decided to tell my boyfriend, because he was, yknow, my BOYFRIEND, and i felt i could trust him. i tell hiim that i think i might have it. at the time i was like 99% sure. and the first thing he says is i probably dont because im "too nice" and that hes SCARED. of my fucking personality disorder. which doesnt help my internalized ableism at fucking ALL. but i put it off im like whatever okay hes an anxious person its fine. but no, it just keeps going. he starts to talk about how he thinks his terribly abusive mother has npd. about how he has so much trauma over the term and how his mother is such a terrible narcissist abuser and how he still believes in narc abuse to an extent. and im like, what the fuck? listening to the things hes saying his mom doesnt even seem like a narcissist. she just seems like a regular fucking abuser. but no, of course, tell this to your boyfriend that confided in you about a terribly stigmatized disorder he thinks he might have, because of course thats good (sarcasm). and then he tells me that whenever i talk about npd i trigger him and i shouldnt talk about it so much. i shouldnt talk about my fucking PERSONALITY DISORDER. the disorder that makes up my whole personality, the one that affects the way that i think and view the world and others. but no, of course, youre allowed to talk about your bpd as much as you want, but i cant talk about my npd. (sarcasm again). if you cant handle me talking about it, imagine what its like to fucking LIVE IT. to have a disorder that everywhere i go there comes up shit about how every pwnpd is a terrible abuser and they dont deserve respect, and then i confide in my fucking BOYFRIEND about it, because i TRUST him, and i just get more stigma thrown back at my fucking face. this one is just kind of annoying and not like objectively bad, but i show them this meme one time thats like "what to do to all narcissists: tell them theyre always right" and they respond like "uhm ackshually.... its harmful to feed into their ego and tell them theyre right when they arent" LIKE I FUCKING KNOW YOU IDIOT!!! i know im not always going to be right! i know that!!!! and then they talk about how they arent comfortable when i ask for supply because they dont want to fucking "feed my ego" like what the fuck!!!! what the fuck is wrong with you!!!! and they would get fucking upset when i headcanoned a character to have npd. like what the FUCK is wrong with you. ughh!!!!!! god. they make me so angry!!!!

#goofball rambles #rant post #rant #cluster b safe #npd safe #actually cluster b #actually npd #actually narcissistic #npd vent

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compassionatereminders · 7 months

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i guess you could call this a vent or whatever but im going to tell you about something that has been making me crazy lately

so when i was like 3 i took a serious blunt force blow to the forehead. our house had hardwood floors and my brother had left a sock on the floor and i slipped on it and hit my head on the rounded corner of our oak coffee table. it left an inch long open wound and i was completely dazed and unresponsive, but conscious.

here is where i start getting frustrated. my mom didnt call 911 or take me to the ER, she took me to our family pediatrician. already really questionable imo but it gets worse. so ive got this gaping hole in my forehead and im unresponsive right? so what do they do? sew my forehead shut right there in the pediatricians office while i watched. didnt give me any anaesthetic or anything because i was, again, completely unresponsive.

then my mom was like "okay you arent bleeding anymore, can i leave now so i can go see the play i wanted to see?" but at this point im screaming and crying because im a toddler with fucking brain damage and a stitched wound that still hurts.

so she just took me home and that was that. and then for months afterwords she couldnt get me to wake up in the morning so she stuffed my limp body into my school clothes herself and took me to preschool half asleep. and then nobody ever spoke about it again except to make jokes.

its been two decades and i am only now realizing that ive had serious brain damage the whole time. my mom and brother have been shaming and belittling me for years for displaying symptoms of the brain damage that they gave me. my mom calls me a fucking spaz and my brother is pissed because he thinks i get "special treatment" instead of realizing that i need more help because he gave me brain damage. its like the final puzzle piece that explains why my life is such a mess.

and im just so overwhelmed by the fact that my mom and brother are directly responsible for the immense suffering ive endured over the past 20 years. all my health problems, the mental illness, the inability to avoid being abused, its all because of the brain damage. and they keep making fun of me for it. im not even mad im just. horrified. the sheer negligence of it all makes me sick. how many people like me are out there suffering from old brain injuries they didnt realize they had?

its like my brain cant even comprehend how fucked up the whole situation is. which is why im here telling it to you in the hopes that you will agree that its very bad 🙃

This is abuse and neglect on a level that no one and nothing could ever justify and I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. You deserved SO much better! ❤️

#chat with kat #abuse tw #child abuse tw #neglect tw #child neglect tw #medical neglect tw #medical abuse tw #trauma tw #injury tw #ableism tw #danger tw

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androdetective · 9 months

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Tulio is autistic as shit (to me) here's why

Kinda a long thing I have many thoughts. I understand he's an exaggerated character and all that and I don't think he was actually intended to be autistic. I am just very autistic especially for this moron

-Okay so he seems to have a hard time realizing people's feelings and if he's hurt them. He will say what's on his mind to people even if it would seem mean to the average person. This gets him into trouble sometimes and usually rightfully so. He's not bad for not having the greatest social awareness, he's just an asshole bc he's tulio. Whenever he realizes that he has hurt someone he cares about, he ends up genuinely caring and wanting to make it up to them. Implying he didn't want to really hurt them, he just has a hard time figuring out the impact his actions have on others. This is a common experience some autistic people have. Autism is a big spectrum and one of the symptoms is low empathy. (Whether it be emotional, cognital, or other forms of empathy) Low empathy does not make an autistic person bad, nor does it mean they'll steal candy from babies or some shit, it just means they have social difficulties with people and they can be a super nice or normal person or however else. However, this is tulio, he's an asshole bc he chooses to be. Also note that there are times where he is mean on purpose. This is also tulio just being tulio.

-Adding on to the last point of social difficulties, he is very impulsive and says the first thing he's thinking to people. Even if it comes off as super mean and blunt. Which gets him into trouble. Being very blunt is another symptom and can add to social dysfunction.

-Tulio can be oblivious with people making fun of him, especially with sarcasm. This happens often when Bodoque is with him and he starts being sarcastic. Tulio doesn't always catch on to Bodoque's tone and can think that Juan Carlos is genuine with his words. This also happens with other people and can lead to embarrassing moments for him. Not only does he have trouble with tone but misunderstanding phrases. He also has trouble understanding people's intentions, whether they're good or bad. Which can lead him to thinking someone innocent is deceiving him. Or even thinking someone clearly shady is trustworthy. Which has led to trouble for him.

-Another thing is that he has very exaggerated movements, tone, and emotions. Just like having a monotone voice and being unemotetive, the opposite is true. He has big reactions to things that arent that big and exaggerates his words a lot. Tulio chooses to speak with formal language too. He speaks with his hands and even body.

-Stims a lot. Sometimes he will mimick and repeat others. If he sees something bouncing or moving around, his eyes will follow and his head will sway to the movement. Quick example off the top of my head was when Mario Hugo was swaying on that noose (very specific example I know) he swayed along to it. He also taps his fingers on surfaces and adjusts his tie. (Ik that's more likely attributed to his vanity, but it's a common stim so)

-He has a very limited interest in very niche things. He really likes ties. To a point it seems excessive to others. He tends to get bored with things that don't interest him and has trouble paying attention to them. Which can cause him to ignore others. And even forget someone or what was going on in the situation. With his interests, he really likes to talk about them whenever he can. Similar to info-dumping. Even to people that don't care to hear about his interests. He possibly might not notice they don't care.

-He does not like unconsented minor changes. Check the entire show.

That's all I can think of. Maybe I'll add to this later who knows

Tulio Triviño is just like me fr 👆

#31 minutos #tulio triviño #by the way i type can you tell im autistic lmao #i liked writing this #kinda wanna write like this with tulio again except with n/pd symptoms #except i worry people will be too weird about it :/#nero writing

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acidmatze · 5 months

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I felt we sorta came a full circle when it comes to "intelligence in autism" for a lack of better wording It started with "There are the Bad Autistics who arent smart and low functioning and dont speak and are The Stereotype of autism etc but theres also the Good Autistics the Aspies who are super smart and good at stuff." Then it went to "No actually its like a buffet of signs of symptoms and everyone has their own unique combination, some have impaired intelligence and some havent and all sorts in-between." And now we came back to "Actually, most autistics are super smart and just a few arent." and sometimes i feel like we are VERY dangerously close to "And the ones who arent smart should be called outliers and not actually representative so lets forget about them entirely who cares about them lol." And nobody really cared about them in the first place. 99% of all posts about autism i see on my dash are made by The Smart Ones who can get Good Jobs and are seen as useful by society. Which is a pretty crass contrast to me working in a sheltered workshop, being autistic myself, and not knowing a single Good Autistic irl even though there are at least like... 20.

#blablabla

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robynbaldurlogs · 3 months

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baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3

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jonahfagnus · 6 months

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i dont think you ever posted about your "jon sees elias as jonah when he takes the archivist job" au but please start with that immediately 👀👀👀👀👀👀

so i dont think theres very much that i didnt say in the tags of the post i made about it (unless tumblr ate those for some reason)

but basically. yeah after jon takes the archivist position he starts seeing elias as jonah (at elias' age, not as like. a corpse in the panopticon). obviously he immediately realises that its jonah bcs, yknow, the guys paintings are everywhere.

i imagine jon's train of thought is something like this:

did my boss get possessed by jonah magnus -> no thats dumb ghosts arent real -> im having a psychotic episode -> surely id be seeing other symptoms -> what the FUCK is happening

so a huge amount of jon's desire to find the truth about the supernatural ends up focused on jonah. initially he's just doing research into the actual guy jonah magnus himself but that doesnt really get him anywhere because its not like jonah was like "dear diary im an eye avatar and im going to start putting my eyes into other people so i can be immortal" so he starts doing research into elias instead. which also turns out to be quite difficult just doing normal research.

luckily, jon and elias are decently friendly with each other (at least in early s1, which this would still be). so surely its not weird to try and make sure your relationship with your boss is positive. thats just common sense thats just cultivating a welcoming workplace environment or whatever. and ofc elias is like

bcs this is objectively great! jons leaning into the eye hes considering breaching elias' privacy to learn more about him and ofc hes flattered that jon is so focused on him in particular. so he allows jon to break into his office and look through his things and he pretends he isnt watching the entire time, and he casually mentions some flaws in his home security to try and spur jon into breaking into his house (which he doesnt. yet.)

they're sort of not-quite-dating - tim might joke about jon going on dates with elias and jon gets very flustered and denies it and elias is a little over affectionate in public just to see how jon reacts, but neither of them have any idea that jon's doing all of this just so he can figure out why his boss is (apparently) the founder of the institute.

then prentiss happens. then they find gertrude's body.

i dont think jon gets as paranoid as he does in canon - hes been less of an asshole since all of his focus has gone into researching elias and trying to figure out what the fuck happened. so while i think he does do some research into the archival crew, its mainly research into gertrude herself, and continuing his research into elias. now with added stalking!

and of course elias still doesnt care about the stalking because hes still 1. very happy jon is taking to the eye so well and 2. flattered that jon is so focused on him to the point of stalking him. in my heart i know elias considers stalking to be a form of flirting

s2 goes generally the same but i want jon to find out about the not-them just a little sooner so i can make him go "holy shit! elias got not-them'd! what the fuck!" of course this is completely incorrect if you know anything about how the not-them works but jon. doesnt.

jon, of course, breaks the table. then he finds out that sasha got not-them'd. then he finds out leitner is alive. then he finds out leitner is dead.

who else does he have to go to? he shows up at elias' home, maybe just minutes after elias finishes cleaning up, because a man has been killed in his office and he didnt do it.

because i am a soft elias truther s3 isnt just manipulation and horrible things happening for jon. horrible things still do happen (elias very much doesnt discourage him from talking to jude perry, or mike crew, for example) and elias is still a bastard but its probably not any significant amount more horrible than canon s3 was.

jon probably spends amounts of time talking to elias about what leitner told him (which is hilarious to elias) and elias (against his better judgement) doesnt tell jon that leitner was lying, but instead asks him questions that may or may not lead him to figuring out the entities. he's curious as to what's going to happen, and he's sure jon likes him enough that showing just a little of what he knows wont tarnish their relationship

i dont have many thoughts beyond that - the confrontation probably goes differently, for example, and maybe jon permanently moves in with elias. i cant decide how much of a corruption arc i should give jon (obviously he ends up much more content with the eye than in canon bcs the eye is sexy but i cant decide if hes pro apocalypse or not) but when jon finds out that elias is jonah hes like "oh i know" and jonah is like what the fuck do you mean

#the reason elias never realises that jon sees him as jonah is bcs. i decided he doesnt LOL #he just never reads jons mind when jons thinking about why his boss is jonah magnus #also gertrude definitely had the same thing. jon finds that out but its unhelpful to his own research aside from 'something is wrong with #the archivist position' but he already knew that #👁️ | jon sees elias as jonah au

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genderqueeradrien · 11 months

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ADRIEN AGRESTE BPD CODED? explain pls <- going O.O slash pos

ok so !!! this turned into an ESSAY i'm so sorry i've been thinking about this for ages and haven't put my thoughts on paper together yet so this is me doing that. also disclaimer irl at least in the us people usually cant get diagnosed with bpd until theyre atbut this is a french kid's show about magic superheroes so i'm ignoring a bit of real-world logistics for the sake of analysis. also, i'm starting with things that ARENT kuro neko specific but trust me we'll get to her.

warning: really long post. actual warning: there's mentions of self harm, talk of suicide and metaphorical suicide, and some discussion of canonical abuse + coping mechanisms. generally lots of mental illness stuff

(also in case the readmore breaks at some point im putting this here bc i want to have it saved Somewhere)

ALL THAT BEING SAID!

[blank paragraph in case the readmore eats the first paragraph. i love this website]

some bpd symptoms i see in adrien/chat noir:

identity disturbance, markedly/persistently unstable self-image/sense of self: there's been several times here adrien talks about wondering whether adrien or chat noir is his "true self," which is super interesting to me bc i (dissociative disorder haver) used to angst about that exact thing (though his situation is definitely different on account of being a superhero lol). there's also the fact that he doesn't have any idea who he is or what he wants to do with his future, and his mind goes blank whenever he thinks about it, which aligns with the difficulties in committing to goals/jobs often seen in bpd

potentially self-damaging impulsive behavior: he's always sacrificing himself for ladybug- here's 2 minutes straight of him doing it in timebreaker, dark cupid, zombizou, chameleon, gorilla, and gamer 2.0. he also does it in lies, reverser, and the shangai special, and probably several more. imo as well as showing an intense attachment to ladybug, it also shows a lack of regard for his own health and wellbeing :( not to mention all the times he runs to fight akumas with no plans or tries to fight them on a broken ankle or other general recklessness

suicidal or self harming behavior: i know this is a stretch but this is a kid's show so we're probably not going to like. see any of that onscreen in a literal sense. but i do feel like some of the times where he sacrifices himself over and over could count. because no matter how much he trusts ladybug there's no guarantee she'll be able to fix everything, and he's immediately willing to die/be teleported into a shadow realm/turned into a kissing zombie/despawn/etc despite that. also he tried to cataclysm himself during guiltrip, tho that was bc of an akuma (although akumas do generally amplify preexisting emotions)

inappropriate/intense/difficult to control anger: trying to cataclysm kim because he played a mean prank on marinette is the first thing i think of. i feel like he definitely tends to suppress anger until it bubbles up and explodes, like in representation when he's going off on his dad about his parenting being shitty, which, while justified, definitely put him in more danger of being hurt. also i know it was in an alternate timeline + he was akumatized but he DID kill everyone in the world that one time. i support him though. he's allowed to do that because i love him

a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, splitting: prefacing this with i dont think ladybug + chat noir are in an unhealthy relationship, but i do think that sometimes the way he sees ladybug can be unhealthily idolizing, in a way that's very reminiscent of favourite persons in bpd. most of season 4 is him being in love with ladybug but feeling pushed aside, until he splits on her in kuro neko (which i'm getting to i promise. this post is way longer than i thought it'd be). there's also desperada where he spends months in a time loop trying to save her despite presumably knowing he's not the person who should be saving her right now.

stress-related paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms: tbh i dont know much abt paranoid ideation so i won't speak on that too much, but i do think his worst fear in sandboy being ladybug being upset with him despite having never acted that way before might fall into that category? as for dissociative symptoms, aside from the identity thing i mentioned earlier, i guess the scene in kuro neko where he's sitting on his couch doing nothing except running his video game character into a wall could be him dissociating? also apparently (i havent read/seen this myself but ive heard abt it) astruc said chat noir is resistant to akumas because he's so used to disappointment, which could suggest a level of emotional numbing

when i first was watching miraculous i was kinda thinking abt adrien having bpd but i didn't have anything super solid to explain it. but it's fun for me to analyze characters' mental states and nothing explicitly contradicts it so whatever. BUT THEN. KURO NEKO.

when ladybug snaps at him he immediately jumps to the conclusion that she hates him/is tired of him (splitting, paranoid thinking)

he decides to leave, which may seem contradictory to "frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment," but pushing people away and essentially abandoning someone before they abandon you (whether or not that was actually going to happen) is a super common result of that symptom and it's what he's doing here. he thinks she doesn't need him, so before she can tell him this he leaves

he leaves his miraculous behind where someone couldve grabbed it because he felt rejected (impulsive behaviour)

then he goes home and tries to destroy all the traces of his love for ladybug, getting rid of his pictures of her on his phone and physical pictures as well (splitting, difficulty controlling anger)

when he wakes up he lies in bed, skips school, doesn't change out of his pajamas, and spends his time running his video game character into a wall. to me it looks like he's completely shut down (dissociation)/in a depressive episode

the show from the beginning sets up that being chat noir is an escape for adrien, and the beginning of season 4 really hammers that point home. we see adrien having an awful day and only finally perking up when he gets to see ladybug. so when adrien gives up his ring that's him giving up on not only himself but on a huge part of his life and one of the only parts that brings him happiness. the way he talks about giving up his ring ("i just can't do this anymore. i give up. on everything") sounds like something a suicidal person would say. this is also something he's expressed before, in syren, when he says "no one'll know if I quit. no one'll care!" (not for nothing, this also comes after him feeling rejected by ladybug). to me it feels like he's been balancing on this metaphorical-suicide metaphorical-ledge for a very long time and kuro neko is him giving up, and then realizing that giving up isn't the way to feel better. (suicidal ideation, fear of abandonment)

adrien doesn't hesitate at the idea of completely changing his personality to be who he thinks marinette wishes he was. the need to make himself into whoever he thinks will be wanted has been a running theme through his life (his childhood dream was to be whoever his parents wanted him to be), and it doesn't fully end with kuro neko- the same insecurities about not being good enough are still shown in the later half of season 5, with him telling marinette he's not worthy of her love and telling ladybug making jokes is all he was ever good for (both in revolution). (low self-esteem, fear of abandonment)

catwalker in general makes me go insane. i think a lot of catwalker comes from the persona he puts on when he's acting as adrien agreste, gabriel agreste's golden child. and i think the constant deference is also something he learned from the abuse from his father. he leans into the "fawn" coping mechanism (adapting to an abuser's wishes to appease them, denying your own needs for those of others) because it's what he's learned to do his whole life because of his father.

catwalker is like a personified fawn fear response. he's the personification of adrien's frantic attempts to avoid abandonment. he's loyal to a fault and would do whatever ladybug asked him to just to try and be good enough for her to stay. he doesn't realize that he's already good enough as adrien/chat noir, that ladybug needs him to be himself or her magic literally doesn't work. she can't do it on her own. she needs him but he's so scared she'll leave that he tries to leave first and then tries to mold himself into someone new who she could love. when he was already loved fully the whole time. aough.

some other smaller examples of his low self esteem & desperation to avoid abandonment:

trying to get good grades to impress his father and earn his love

staying friends with people and trusting them for far longer than is logical (chloé and lila)

feeling like he's not worthy of marinette's love or ladybug's partnership, feeling like he's not worthy to be a miraculous holder or that he's not helping the team, etc

the shocked relief in his eyes when ladybug says she won’t abandon him :(

when gabriel says to chat noir that his son is precious and chat/adrien looks at him Like That. yeah .

SO. YEAH. this post kinda got away from me a little bit as i defended my agresteology dissertation or whatever.

TLDR: he's impulsive and loyal to a fault, yet terrified of abandonment to the point where he tries to sabotage his relationships himself. he idolizes ladybug until he feels rejected by him, when he splits on her and becomes convinced she doesn't care about him. he has low self-worth and places a lot of his perceived worth on how (he believes) others think of him and is always striving towards that ideal even when that ideal is something he can't reach, or something that hurts him to try to reach. also i want to give him a hug and some milk and a blanket. he deserves it

#ask #text #analysis #adrien agreste #ml #self harm mention #abuse mention #suicide mention #long post #mine #OKAY TAGS OVER #is this ready to post .i think it is.okay

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wheelercore · 8 months

Text

It's really interesting how we get 3 versions of the creel plotline:

1. The creel trailer, which has alice and henry running up the stairs excitedly together and alice finding the dead rabbit, not in the playground, but what I assume is either the front yard or the backyard. Also henry and alice are noticeably younger, but children grow quickly so I don't know if that was intentional.

2. The show itself, which has the difference in the beginning entry way scene and alice in the playground.

3. The First Shadow, in which alice strikingly missing, despite the fact that the play still takes place when the creels just moved to Hawkins, supposedly. I believe the first promo refers to henry as the new kid in school, emphasizing that henry may be an only child in this play... somehow.

So either something happened to alice before the creels arrived to hawkins (doubtful, this show places a lot of emphasis on hawkins as a setting and I doubt the it would make its central 'cursed town' irrelevant to its plot twist)-

Alice never existed (?? Lol) -

Or something happened to alice after the creels moved to hawkins and what we see in the show is not what it seems.

The third option isn't exactly out of this world. The show, since the beginning, put a lot of emphasis on PTSD, flashbacks, and repressed memories. It's all the more obvious with El recovering memories of Henry and the massacre, but s2 was filled to the brim with allegories and mentions to flashbacks, starting with Phineas "totally not used in the show as an allegory for the psychological effects of trauma" Gage and how will's supernatural experiences were compared to PTSD.

Vecna's curse was intentionally made to be subtle to the victim. None of them knew they were in a hallucination until it was made obvious to them. And... there are just some very interesting word choices going on here:

Hopper corrects Joyce in this scene but the association of flashbacks and nightmares continue. Victor describing his own vecna vision, reminiscent of his own traumatic memories:

Him describing waking up from his later vision, describing both that vision and his "reality" as nightmares:

We don't see Alice dying. Not even in Henry's pov- it's intentionally obfuscated from us.

In the beginning of s4 nightmares are also framed as a sign of the vecna curse, we see specifically Max's nightmare being more so a flashback, or a memory, to Billy's death. Nightmares are also a core symptom of PTSD so it fits the bill with season 2.

Funnily, enough we see Alice also experiences nightmares- which we know what that's associated with:

What exactly were in Alice's nightmares?

In the beginning we also got these very sus lines by Alice of all people, saying how the home looks like a "fairytale" and a "dream", which you know is what people say when they mean something is too good to be true, the opposite of nightmare, used to mean something that is so dreadful its hard to believe.

These lines arent in the creel trailor, which is... interesting.

Also I wonder if there is a hint to this when Henry gains his abilities in the first place. Weirdly enough this is symbolized by Henry forcing a clock to go backwards, metaphorically into the past (and I am obligated to mention this, but the parallel to fred):

Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world.

Also makes me so curious about the rainbows on the clock during this monologue/scene... a reference to the rainbow room? Makes sense because it seems like the lab kids were killed in a similar fashion to Alice- their jaws weren't broken unlike virginia and the vecna victims. Why?

It's interesting how directly after this scene it cuts to the rabbit being killed- and with the predator/prey theme often represented by animals and a rabbit is definitely a prey animal- and that rabbits body being left for alice, who would later be killed in a similar way.

Why is Henry forecasting Alice's own death to her? For funsies? We see he repeatedly that he used tactics against his parents to hold the mirror up because they've done "terrible things" (still unknown what Virginia's terrible thing is yet). For vecna victims its slightly different, while fred and max fit that bill, patrick and chrissy don't. Their visions were more along the lines of showing them the darkness in their lives that they hide. So it seems to me that vecna shows not just sources of guilt, but the harsh unbridled truth of their lives. So what business did Henry have with Alice?

I'm not saying that there is possibly some weird fucky altered reality/time loss stuff happening in hawkins but. I am.

#i love f-ed up little weird towns being f-ed up little weird towns #anyways could you feel me shaking trying not to bring up fred miketed benson. i was shaking.#alice creel #henry creel #virginia creel #victor creel #look they cant introduce literal mind control/hallucination shit with time stuff added to it (time loss and how its related to memory)#and not expect me to go oh hawkins is a little fucked up isnt it

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halfusek · 1 year

Note

Imma be honest with you, before BATDR came out, you literally held this fandom together with bandaids and stick glue. 2019-2022 was basically the dry age of Bendy content

haha thanks i tried my best

i Do enjoy being in a fandom, i've always looked up to the danny phantom phandom a lot cause the vibes there are just fantastic, there's a lot of things going on, people have many interactions with each other, so i wanted to try to introduce that to the batim fandom and i'd like to think that i sorta did

i know that it is a popular opinion to not engage with a large portion of the fandom but instead just grab a few friends and sit in a corner with them but like

engaging with a bigger portion of the fandom every now and then can be SO fun and give people an opportunity to meet other people and idk

fandoms are communities of people just united by liking A Thing so it can be challenging to make a space for many people to get along but i dont recall any super serious only fandom related dramas in batim?? weirdos are in every fandom and you just blast their asses into oblivion with a block button

and there have been cases when i felt kinda bad for blocking someone because that meant i'd exclude them from something i wanted to think of as a fandom-wide event for everyone who would obey it's rules but that's where this outlook on curating your experience into a smaller circle is very much the way to go lol

wait what am i talking about

aha yea 2019-2022 everything fucking DIED here but i was having a blast drawing my comic and also a lot of people who were into the sides of batim i was into mainly (the human characters) stayed around more than everyone else and it was really chill, i've met a lot of people and made many friendships :)

as the fandom was getting smaller there was a noticable drop in the amount of notes batim related posts were getting which is a very big symptom of a fandom dying but i think at some point it sorta stabilized who stayed there after batdr was delayed and delayed

i reblog and tag more than an usual tumblr user (when im active cuz sometimes i can not reblog anything for months because im busy lol) and that didnt start without a reason, it sure is a habit now and i really enjoy doing it, letting people know what i think about their stuff and putting nice things on display for others to see

reblogs are not just crucial for singular artists but also for fandoms as a whole, thats how you keep that train rollin

though here is a sad thing that many many artists dont reblog a lot, or reblog to their sideblogs that arent followed by nearly as many people as their main blogs

and thats like understandable, im the weirdo who puts a whole mess of many posts on my main but i think thats also the most effective way to help other people get traction and i never see this mentioned when people complain that tumblr users dont reblog as much stuff as they like

its even kinda funny to me when people complain about their stuff not getting reblogged when they dont reblog others stuff themselves at all xD though there is a bit of cyanide in that thought heheh

on the other hand reblogging doesnt work on stuff that i could see from other people: the stuff i reblog i get from browsing the bendy and the ink machine tag sorted by new + sometimes when i bored i scroll through my dash and reblog some random things but i follow 2k people so i dont really see any individuals art specifically, just a collection of random posts that i am able to scroll through in a few minutes (and every minute theres a bunch of new posts posted/reblogged by those i follow)

and that can take a long time! if ive been busy for months then scrolling through a few months worth of stuff people around the world made for bendy is so bad even on a beefy computer that it just pushes tumblr to its limits and takes HOURS to reblog and tag for me, and then i might even hit the daily post limit and have to continue tomorrow

but i enjoy doing this, bendy is my fixation after all and i fucking love art and what people can create for this thing that i like i soooooo desire to see it all

and i try to reblog as much as possible, though i dont obviously reblog *everything* from the tag, sometimes i just give a like or i just dont like the thing cuz its not in my liking and thats it

but i did make it a thing that during ink demonth i reblog all entries for the event no matter what my opinion of them is just to give some of that Exposure TM because hey maybe some of my followers Will like it

i dont run a super duper popular blog but there is a bunch of yall there and i think me reblogging something in this fandom at least may give a litol boost to the notes on a post

and its always fun to see peoples reactions that dont expect me to reblog from them but then i do and they freak out a little, i think i love it on the same level as getting comments on my own art :) its super wholesome

man by writing this post im procrastinating on something but fdnjkfdfd

but anyway thank you!! and im glad you think so because i did try to accomplish that :D

#halfask #halfpost #bendy and the ink machine #bendy fandom

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245624562456 · 24 days

Note

how do u tell the difference between schizo/delusions/hallucinations & ramcoa/programming memories (am also schizophrenic & cant tell the difference between that/delusions of being under control and IRL trauma/memories)???? helpp

Im not sure thats a priority for us. We dont really work based off of things like reality checking or telling things apart. Because of how long we were being programmed, we currently just started seeing all of our symptoms as a whole as programming. We feel that every symptom and trait we have has been built by our programmer over those 15 years. So it makes it hard to have a clear line between anything anymore. We also arent very experienced with our own RAMCOA or HC-DID, we only just recently broke through and saw it and realized it all.

Weve realized that our dissociation is completely related to RAMCOA and that it feels like a sleeper state than it has ever felt like normal DID dissociation. We also dont get super intense auditory and visual hallucinations in general, but we do have them daily, and we get very intense phrase repeats in our head a lot. Our disorganized thoughts in schizophrenia cause us to ramble for hours about both our HC-DID memories and our religious beliefs.

I cant say much more. Im hoping I was vague enough about our actual programming here for Halogen not to delete this.

#— ???#AR subsys #programmed alter #hcdid #programmed did #programmed system #ramcoa #ramcoa tw

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abimee · 1 year

Text

i get where posts are coming from when they talk about the, i dont know what better way to example them besides ''weird/strange disorders'' people are often adverse to, and in ways that try to make them palatable/less scary like ''oh my friend who hears voices actually enjoys them and she finds comfort in them'' and doing things in a way to mitigate the fear of them, even people who have them themselves doing this. but i dont really enjoy that this is the only line that these thoughts go through, of how entertaining or enjoyable these things can be, when i think we do need more understanding of them by demanding the outside participant recognize that theyre not always going to get that feel-good depiction of our disorders

like the best way i can personally put it is yeah some of my disorder symptoms are enjoyable on my part, but a problem with that is when im manic and in a state that makes me feel good i can often become a danger to myself or others because im so hopped up on my own euphoria that i forget consequences and limitations exist, and so often mania is just as bad for me if not worse for me than depression because im incapable of being self aware, critical, realistic, and the mania can often feed into a dangerous mindset teetering me closer to suicide than depression. but mania getting played off as just '' i have so much energy! i got zoomies!" or ''mania is actually really cool because [x]'' when in all actuality of someone like me with insane bipolar swings starts telling you how enjoyable mania is Thats A Bad Sign

or like with the symptoms that float somewhere between my bipolar and ocd. im going to ask for some incredibly insane accomodations or say things that i dont understand may be hurtful because what may be a silly little quirk you do may feel like someone is putting their nails into my skin and dragging them down my back until they draw blood. or i may act offputting because my brain is either trying to tell me that i was destined by god to save you from your relationship, that i have no basis to believe is unhealthy purely besides my brain telling me that because you arent dating me that you are surely in a shitty relationship, or the complete opposite where im certain you are in fact only in my life to steal my friends and make a mockery of me by long conning me into getting close to you and revealing information for you to put out and get me hunted down and killed like an animal for, even thought there is no such information besides my brain telling me There Might Be and I just forgot

and to have friendships and close relationships with people similar to me is to have to not only respect back but understand that youre not going to get the feel good caretaker shit where my bipolar actually makes me a fun and interesting person to be around or my comorbid ocd actually makes me a really safety orientated person, it means youre going to have to watch me just directly not say some things to you on a discord call because i think were being recorded by secret agents and me asking you to come pick me up a 3 mile drive away randomly because i tried taking a vacation but psyched myself into believing im going to die if i dont get back home and i need to get home NOW. like i get positivity posts about the ''scary/weird'' disorders have their time and place but when all i see is people trying to make us palatable i wonder if even people like me who are defined and live day by day with their neurosis would be included because we exemplify some of many reasons why these disorders are in the neurodivergence category, one defined by the fact that we dont need medication and to be ''cured'' as much as we need the world around us to learn to accomodate us and accept us without trying to change us.

and theres people more severe than me! certainely! im only in the medium to extreme range of bipolar being youthful and not experiencing more psychosis symptoms, but even i can be offputting and upsetting to others purely by thr way my bipolar has wired me, and i wonder if IM considered ''too much'' for people how my siblings who need 24 hour round clock assistance and care to live will be treated and if the people who wanna de-fang disorders can accept those people as friends and family and closed ones. this also goes into stuff like how we can pass these disorders onto their kids, and what if your child is the violent stereotype? what if the voices arent nice? what if your child cant be left alone with a babysitter or anybody besides a select set of people without freaking out? what then

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jusiri · 2 years

Text

Httyd book character's ages throughout the series

Alright like i had mentioned i wanted to make a post about different characters ages at different times

And thats what this is

It's going to be Hiccup, Fishlegs, and Camicazi of course, as well as a few other character

BUT before we can get into their ages, we first have to establish a timeline

So im going to go over the Illogical Timeline, where it comes from and why its wrong, some of the contradictions in the books, what the Most Likely Timeline is, and finally the ages

Putting this under a cut cause it might be a long post lol

Also theres spoilers so

Anyways moving on

First up, the Illogical Timeline

This is based only on dates and time frames established in the books, ignoring Hiccup's age except at the very beginning

A lot of this is still True in the Most Likely Timeline, really the only things that arent are the Months that the Books take place and Hiccups Age

Now where these come from

In Book 1, when they've regrouped after the dragons woke up, Gobber says Hiccup is '10 1/2' But because it takes place in January, Hiccup would have to be almost 11, so most likely Gobber just meant he was in-between 10-11

We know the book starts in January because

A: the dragons are in their last few weeks of winter hibernation

B: Toothless wakes up 3 weeks after Hiccup gets him, and after he's been awake for a bit its Mid-February

We're also told that 'February turned into March, March into April, and April into May'

So therefor book 1 would take place between the months of January - May

This would make Hiccup is 11 years 3 months old at the end of the book ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now book 2, we're told takes place one month later, the story itself says this as well as Snotlout, so its now into June

The events take place over approximately 3 weeks, meaning at the end its likely early July

This would make Hiccup would be 11 years 5 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 3 has to take place at least 3 months later, because Alvin says he spent 3 months climbing through Caliban Caves

But in book 4, they say that they ran into a Vorpent a couple months ago, and thats how long the symptoms take to show themself

So book 3 would likely take place 6 months later around December

Saturn's Day Saturday is in about 2 weeks

We get time frames around Camicazi's escape plans for how exactly long they were there

It says that for her first plan she spent '3 nights' throwing a fish out the window

Her second plan she spent '4 days' tunneling

After her third escape plan she's put into solitary confinement for '3 days'

And she returned 'the day before' Saturday

Which all adds up to them being there for 12 days 11 days of escape attempts and 1 day of the actual event

All this would make Hiccup 11 years 10 months old at the end of the book --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As i said book 4 takes place a couple months later, around the end of winter, so itd be somewhere around mid-March most likely

The events of the book take place over 24 hours

This would make Hiccup a little over 12 years old already

Which isnt supposed to happen for 2 more books So something got a little messed up somewhere, like i said ill explain the Most Likely Timeline later but first lets just get through this one -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now Book 5 takes place in August, it says this at the very beginning of the book, so about 5 months after the last book

The events take place over a couple weeks, so ending mid-to-late August

This would make Hiccup 12 years 6 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 6 takes place on February 29th, 6 months later

The events of the book take place over a single day, and seeing as its Hiccups Birthday, this would make Hiccup 13 years old at the end of the book

So we're about a year ahead of schedule -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 7 takes place in spring, says it at the first sentence of chapter 1, most likely in late March So about a month after the last book

The events take place over the course of a bit more than 3 months, ending in June

This would make Hiccup 13 years 4 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 8 takes place in Midsummer, probably around August, a couple months after last book

It takes place over a couple days

This would make Hiccup 13 years 6 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 9 takes place at least a year later, because at the end of book 8 Furious says he'll give the humans 1 year

But because Book 9 takes place over the last 3 weeks of the year, it has to be closer to one year 4 months later

Which does make sense, because Hiccup just says 'the year passed' not one year ago or anything like that

Like i said it takes place over the last 3 weeks of the year, ending January 1st

This would make Hiccup 14 years 10 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 10 takes place 12 months or 1 year later, in January

I believe some books say it was only 6 months later but that doesnt add up with books 11 and 12

If it were only 6 months later that would lead to Doomsday happening in the Summer, around July, which we know isnt the case

Everything taking place a year later does add up though, at least approximately,

Again, this is all for later

Anyways the events of Book 10 take place in about 3 or 4 days

This would make Hiccup 14 years 10 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 11 takes place a month later, around the beginning of February

The entirety of books 11 and 12 take place over the same few days

This would make Hiccup 15 years 11 months old at the end of the book -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 12 is probably not even 24 hours after book 11 and lasts like 12 hours

This would make Hiccup 15 years a bit more than 11 months old at the end of the book and series

This also would mean Doomsday takes place in February which doesnt add up to me --------------------------------------------------------------------------

And thats it for the Incorrect Timeline

Like i said its obviously not right

If Cressida had made Hiccup 15 in the last book and not 14, it all would have been right on target But i think she just didnt think too much about the specifics of the dates she gave, particularly early on on the series

Theres also a possibility that she had originally intended for book 6 or whatever to be Hiccup's 13th birthday, since turning 13 is usually a big deal And then when she decided Hiccups birthday was on a Leap Year she changed it to being his 12th birthday instead

But we'll never know unless she says something or if she somehow sees this post and decides to comment lol

Anyways now onto The Most Likely Timeline of events

So for the Most Likely Timeline the most important book is Book 6

To figure out times and ages for books 7-12 you work forward from book 6 and for books 1-5 you work Backwards Im sure you could do it other ways as well but thats what i did -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 1

I know that at the beginning Gobber says Hiccup is 10 1/2 but thats impossible

Considering it takes place between early January - May, Hiccup would have to have had a birthday, not an Official Birthday™ of course, but he had to age

In order for Hiccup to be 12 years old in book 6, he has to turn 10 in the February of book 1

This would make Hiccup 10 years 3 months old at the end, and only 9 years around 10 months old at the very beginning of the book and the series -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 2 takes place one month after book 1, putting it in June

This would mean Hiccup was 10 years 4 months old at the end of book 2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now Book 3 is a bit odd, it has to take place at least three months after book 2, but also 'a couple months' before book 4

I know a couple usually means 2, but I think it was closer to 4ish months People often seem to misuse 'a couple' when they really mean 'a few' so its not unlikely

Because i think book 4 takes place in February this would mean book 3 takes place in October, or 4 months after book 2

Now its important that its in October because

A: That give Alvin the 3 odd months to get out of the Caliban Caves and a few weeks to figure everything out with the Romans

B: 4 months after June would mean the book can start Mid-October and end late October

Why is late October important?

Well, this is why:

There was a Roman Holiday that took place at the end of October

And from a couple sites that explain what it was:

Essentially at the end of October the Romans had a holiday of Games to celebrate some War and the Goddess of Victory

In book 3 the Saturn's Day Saturday Games were themed around The Survival of the Fittest

Games celebrating winning a war and the Goddess of Victory A Games Event called Survival of the Fittest Survival of the Fittest, whoever's best will win Similar to a War, the best army will be Victorious

👀👀👀👀👀

Im sure yall see what im getting at lol

While i dont know that Cressida put that much research into Roman holidays just to link one up with her fiction book event it would make sense

The theming would make sense, as well as why the Romans were just randomly having some Big Event

Anyways all this would make Hiccup 10 years 8 months old at the end of book 3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 4 takes place at the end of winter, and like i said most likely mid-late February, about 4 months after book 3

So Hiccup would have been a little under 11 years old ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 5 takes place in August

In the prologue Hiccup says he was 11 years old, so he has to be at least 11

August is 6 months away from February So it makes sense for Hiccup to be 11 1/2 at the end of book 5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

So Book 6 is handy for both the timeline and the ages because we get an Exact Date and Age

We know Hiccup is 12 on February 29th ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 7 is in the Spring so probably around a month after book 6, early April seems perfectly reasonable

It lasts a bit over 3 months, probably ending in July

This would make Hiccup about 12 years 5 months old ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 8 is in MidSummer

The official midpoint of summer is August 7th, so it likely takes place sometime in August, about a month after book 7

This would make Hiccup 12 1/2 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Book 9 takes place at least a year after book 8, but it has to be over a year because book 8 is set in summer and book 9 is the end of the year

So its probably somewhere around 1 year 4 months later

Which, as i said in the Incorrect Timeline, makes sense because Hiccup says the year passed , and also that he thought Furious might have forgotten If it had just been a year , it would be odd for Hiccup to assume he forgot, but if a few more months had passed it would indeed seem as though Furious had forgotten what he had said

So 1 year 4 months makes sense

This would make Hiccup 13 years 10 months old ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Book 10 is a year after book 9, but it would make more sense if it took place a little less than a year, somewhere around 11 1/2 months

Because book 9 ends on New Years Day, book 10 being one year later would put it in January, therefore putting Books 11, 12, and subsequently Doomsday in February And i dont think Doomsday is in February, that just doesnt seem right Seems more likely that its in January

So Book 10 probably takes place around mid-to-late December

Hiccup would be 14 years 10 months old ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Books 12 and 11 take place over the same 3 or so odd days

They're set a month after book 10, though probably not quite a month

This would end the series around Mid January, and also mean that the 12 Days of Doomsday likely start the second week of January

Hiccup would be about 14 years 11 months old at the end of the series -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now since we've finally got the timeline out of the way we can finally move on to

The Ages

Starting with Hiccup for anyone who didnt want to read through this whole thing

Hiccup:

Book 1 - Around 9 years 10 months at the beginning and 10 years 3 months at the end

Book 2 - Around 10 years 4 months old

Book 3 - Around 10 years 8 months old

Book 4 - Around 11 years old

Book 5 - Around 11 1/2 years old

Book 6 - 12 years old

Book 7 - Around 12 years 2 months at the beginning and 12 years 5 months at the end

Book 8 - Around 12 1/2

Book 9 - Around 13 years 10 months

Book 10 - Around 14 years 10 months

Book 11 - Around 14 years 11 months

Book 12 - Around 14 years 11 months

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fishlegs's Ages

We only get Fishlegs's age once in the series, in book 8 it says he's 13 and a quarter but thats all we need to figure out the rest

Hiccup is 12 1/2 in book 8

Fishlegs is 13 and a quarter

In other words 13 years 3 months and 12 years 6 months, meaning Fishlegs is 9 months older than Hiccup

Add 9 months to Hiccup's ages and we've got Fishlegs's ages

Fishlegs:

Book 1 - Around 10 years 7 months at the beginning and 11 years at the end

Book 2 - Around 11 years 1 month

Book 3 - Around 11 years 5 months

Book 4 - Around 11 years 9 months

Book 5 - Around 12 1/2

Book 6 - Around 12 years 9 months

Book 7 - Around 12 years 11 months at the beginning and 13 years 2 months at the end

Book 8 - 13 years 3 months

Book 9 - Around 14 years 7 months

Book 10 - Around 15 years 7 months

Book 11 - Around 15 years 8 months

Book 12 - Around 15 years 8 months

There is an age contradiction in this book

When its talking about the Dragon Jewel, and that it was in the Necklace, it says that 'as with all Lost Things , it was almost as if it had been searching for Hiccup....the Jewel carried the pot safely across the waves, to the shores of Berk where the baby hiccup had just been born' Which implies that Fishlegs was born just a few days before Hiccup

Either that or for whatever reason either the Naming Dame waited almost a year before naming him or the tribe decided to wait several months before putting him out to sea, but neither of those match up with what we know so i think it was just an error lol

Anyways i just realized this means Fishlegs's Birthday is sometime in May!!

The community should pick a day in May to celebrate the Lad next year!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Camicazi's Ages

Like Fishlegs, her age is only mentioned in book 8

She's 11 and a quarter, so 2 years younger than Fishlegs and 1 a quarter years younger than Hiccup

Camicazi:

Book 1 - Around 8 years 7 months at the beginning and 9 years old at the end

Book 2 - Around 9 years 1 month old

Book 3 - Around 9 years 5 months old

Book 4 - Around 9 years 9 months old

Book 5 - Around 10 1/2

Book 6 - Around 10 years 9 months old

Book 7 - Around 10 years 11 months old at the beginning and 11 years 2 months old at the end

Book 8 - 11 years 3 months

Book 9 - 12 years 7 months

Book 10 - 13 years 7 months

Book 11 - 13 years 8 months

Book 12 - 13 years 8 months

This means Camicazi's birthday is also in May, so we need to pick out TWO days in May to celebrate Birthdays lol

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snotlout's Ages

Snotlout is about 3 years older than Hiccup, id say probably like 3 1/2 years older, just cause he talks about remembering stuff and i feel like its easier to remember stuff from when youre a bit closer to 4 than barely 3

Book 1 - Around 13 and a quarter at the beginning and around 13 years 8 months at the end

Book 2 - Around 13 years 9 months old

Book 3 - Around 14 years 1 month old

Book 4 - Around 14 1/2

Book 5 - Around 15

Book 6 - Around 15 1 /2

Book 7 - Around 15 years 8 months at the beginning and 15 years 11 months at the end

Book 8 - Around 16

Book 9 - Around 17 years 4 months

Book 10 - Around 18 years 4 months

Book 11 - Around 18 years 5 months

Book 12 - ..................

This means Snotlout's birthday was probably maybe late July/sometime in August ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Alvin's Age

We never get a specific age for Alvin, so these are all guesses based on what seems logical to me

So we know he left before Termagant gave birth, though we dont know exactly how long before, id say she was probably 4-6 months pregnant, but it doesnt really matter

The only real important things for getting an approximate age are how long ago it was from book 12, and how old he was at the time

Im going with it was around 16 years ago, and that he was in his mid 20s, like 25 years old

Book 1 though 3 - Around 36

Books 4 and 5 - Around 37

Book 6 though 8 - Around 38

Book 9 - around 39-40

Book 10 through 12 - Around 41

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A Few Other Characters

Stoick and Valhallarama - Probably their 40s to 50s throughout the series

Baggybum - Probably late 30s early-to-mid 40s

We actually know Old Wrinkly's Age, its said in book 4

Books 1 through 3- Around 92

Book 4 and 5 - Around 93

Book 6 through 8 - Around 94

Book 9 - Around 95-96

Books 10 through 12 - Around 97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

And thats pretty much it

I cant really think of any other character to try to Age

I hope yall enjoy this ridiculously long post lol

Let me know what you agree or disagree on, id love to know yalls opinions

Also again, we need to pick out some dates in May to celebrate Fishlegs's and Camicazi's birthdays And sometime in late July/August for Snotlout if ya want

#httyd book fandom #httyd books #book hiccup #httyd book series #alvin the treacherous #how to train your dragon #httyd #httyd book spoilers #book fishlegs #book snoutlout #valhallarama #camicazi

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