#sort of not really an imposter au

[ymechi]

Who is the real Creator?

To be honest I had no plans of even adding Wanderer but he casually came in and inserted himself into this story and he is here to stay.

-TW: cult au, yandere, impostor au, mentions of being hunted down, mentions of trauma,

-Gn reader and darling (please tell me if I mess this up message me and I will fix it)

part 1, part 2, part 3, this is part 4, part 5

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reader woke up with a yawn stretching their limbs and with heavy steps going to the washroom. After they finished their business they turned the stove on to make some tea and prepared breakfast. The morning was rather lovely, the sun was shining again and the birds were chirping and the trees were swaying softly. 

They sipped their tea quietly as they watched the scenery outside. With a hum, they packed up their bag with books for today's classes and headed to the Akademiya. One of the perks of being promptly isekai-ed was the instant teleportation. They thought of the teleporter near the Akademiya and white light enveloped their eyes. After a few seconds, the sights changed. Most people had gotten used to their and the traveler's teleportation antics and paid Reader no mind. 

They hummed a tune as they headed towards class. 

In a rather unexpected surprise, they saw Wanderer, they did not expect to see them today. It looked like he was heading towards them. Reader gave him a wave but their smile fell as they saw the serious expression on his face and not his usual one. 

He looked at Reader and nodded. 

"I expect you know what this is about, Lesser Lord Kusanali wants to meet you at her office."

Reader tensed and their eyes widened. They tried so hard not to think about yesterday.

The sting of a cut, gold blood, broken old friendships. 

They rubbed the thumb they had cut off. Wanderer looked at them with an unreadable expression, he then turned away his head and spoke.

"We can take the longer way so you can get your bearings."

He turned away and started walking. Reader stumbled and could do nothing but follow along. Despite his harsh exterior Reader knew he meant them well. If the situation was not urgent Reader bet Wanderer would have told them to forget it.

Knowing it was a serious matter did not help things. All morning they were in an odd serene calm trying to dissociate from the revelations of yesterday. They rubbed their forehead. Reader hoped they had more time to process the situation and go about their routine before they came to a conclusion or answer or whatever. 

All the time while they were walking Wanderer was quiet leaving them to their thoughts. Reader was not familiar with the way to Nahida's office. They must have taken an even longer route as they kept taking certain twists and turns and Reader could swear they entered the same hall as before. It was honestly kind of sweet how he took care of them in his own way. 

The sun enveloped his figure causing the decorations on his hat to shine and casting a gentle shadow on his face. Wanderer's face was unreadable but there was something kind in his eyes Reader thought they could see.

Reader sometimes did wonder if he knew it was them who gave him his new name. 

Wanderer must have thought he gave enough time for Reader to prepare themselves because they stood still near tall intricately carved double doors. Reader gulped. They did not feel ready at all. Wanderer knocked on the door and Readers heart rate started going faster.

"Please come in."

It was Nahida's voice. It was oddly comforting, perhaps they had gotten too attached to the Archon without Reader knowing it. 

Wanderer opened the door and held it open for them. He still had that strange look on his face as he looked at Reader. 

As both Wanderer and Reader stood in front of the Archon, Reader took in the office. It was large and spacious and decorated with books (as expected), large glass windows let in the sunlight and it was decorated with plants giving it a welcoming feeling, knowing Nahida it was probably intentional. 

Reader tried to distract themselves from the topic that will be discussed. Yet the inevitable would happen.

"I am sure you know what will be discussed so I will cut to the chase," she looked at Reader with a sorry expression, "It will soon be announced that Darling is not the Creator, as you both will know this event will cause wide panic and confusion. I am sad to say this might affect you as well Reader for your safety I hope you will stay here with me until things calm down.

Reader nodded and said nothing further, they could still feel Wanderers staring at them from where he stood. Did. . . he know?

Nahida then stared and Wanderer who took his gaze off Reader to stare back at the Archon. It felt as if both were having a conversation in their minds in the end the Wanderer nodded and left them alone. 

Finally, it was just Nahida and Reader. 

Reader felt a bit uneasy despite feeling safe next to the archon.

"I know you might need some more time to process what happened yesterday but unfortunately we may not have the time. I want to ask you what you want to do now."

Huh?

At Reader’s confusion, Nahida continued.

“You are the Creator as such you can take your rightful position and rule, you can live in the bigger temples or you can go to other Archons and live with them. Anything you choose I will of course respect.”

Reader was rather dumbfounded. They expected Reader to rule- a rightful position? It really went over their head. They did not want or desire to rule and they had no idea what they would do in a temple Reader was not the ascetic kind. What would they even do in other Archon’s places? Most of them were not kind to Reader.

Nahida was waiting for their reply. Reader wrung their hands and replied. 

"Uhh - well, is it okay if I just stay here?"

Nahida blinked.

"Yes of course if that is what you want. Sumeru welcomes you wholeheartedly," she said with a smile.

At that Reader let out a breath and relaxed their shoulders. It seems the daily life that they had built could still be protected.

"Once again I am sorry to say there are still problems that are unsolved namely your identity, I won't force you to reveal it but I do think it is best to tell the acolytes," she said looking regretful. 

At that Reader grimaced. Nahida said nothing further and looked and waited for Reader's reply. Reader looked down on their feet. 

It would be a smart decision as what they say would have a public sway and it would be best if they were told from the source rather than hear it second hand and later come here and demand answers. 

Reader was, still is, scared they were also frustrated. Just for how long are they going to feel like a helpless person? They did not want to continue to run away feeling scared all the time by the people who had wronged them. They should not be the one in hiding and being in fear all the damn time. Reader had enough of running away for a lifetime already.

"Fine they can know but I will be the one to tell them."

At their statement, Nahida looked surprised but she schooled her expression and smiled. She nodded towards them.

"Of course you can, if you need me I will be there with you."

Reader once again relaxed their shoulders and smiled. 

"That would be nice thank you."

"There is no need to thank me I would do that for any friend of mine."

Reader's chest felt warm. Honestly, Nahida was just so sweet to them. They felt happy that even in a foreign world they managed to get such a good friend.

"Ohh right since I am telling the acolytes I think I can tell wanderer as a practice run."

"That is a good idea let me get him again he should be waiting outside."

Nahida called over Wanderer who once again stood next to Reader in front of Nahida's desk. Reader glanced at him again and struck while the iron was hot.

"Apparently I am the creator."

Wanderer blinked at them but otherwise said nothing. It was Nahida who spoke. 

"How about we take it from the start," she said with a sympathetic expression aimed at the Wanderer.

Reader left Nahida to explain most of it as they had to take a break already from saying the truth and they honestly did not know how to properly explain everything that happened yesterday. By the end of the explanation Wanderer had a thoughtful expression.

"So the real Creator was the one hunted down what a twist of fate," he said and crossed his arms.

He looked a bit contemplative before Reader could say anything Wanderer faced Reader and bent down - no he kneeled.

Reader spluttered and felt like a deer in headlights watching the usually proud Wanderer kneeling.

"H-hey please get up there is no need-"

"I apologize for my earlier behavior it was unbecoming to act in such a manner in front of you, our golden lightning. I hope I did not offend you."

"Wait please get up this is so uncomfortable!"

After Reader said that wanderer got up and did not face them directly. Reader swallowed their saliva and tried to think why Wanderer had such a one-eighty in their personality. They did not think Wanderer would care about the Creator or the status of it from how they talked they were wrong by the looks of it. 

To make such a prideful person kneel on a flip of a switch. . .

Once again they had no idea what the weight of the Creator was and what it held for the people of Teyvat. 

"I understand I am sorry for the distress I may have caused you," he said and put a hand on his chest and looked down to the floor.

Reader gulped. 

"P-please just act as usual, I- you," they paused trying to think of the right words, "When I first came here I was a mess and you helped me, I am the one who should be bowing."

"Please don't it was the least I could do for you as the Creator. Back then if I should have done more."

Reader hated this. When they wanted to tell wanderer they did not expect it to turn out this way. They did not want this weird worship and formal attitude. 

"Please stop I don't want this, Not any of this. I wanted you to know because I see you as a friend," they said and clenched their hands.

Wanderer looked surprised at the admission, almost as if taken aback. Reader would have laughed at his face if the tension was not thick. He looked down for a bit and then back at Reader again.

"I will be honest I am not sure how I am supposed to reply, you are our Creator the one we all worship, yet you consider me out of all people a friend. . ."

He trailed off and Reader wanted to retort.

"Of course, I do, when I first came I was a mess and you still took care of chores around the house and bought groceries even if it was on Nahida's orders but you still did it all without complaint and you taught me a lot which you did not have to - all this to say you are a dear friend of me so please don't act so formal and weird. You are a precious person to me and I hope you think of me at least as a friend."

After they were done with their spiel they took a deep breath realizing they were out of air. Wanderer lowered his hat his face obscured but Reader could faintly see his face being red. 

. . .

Oh-.

 Reader felt the blood rush to their face and they looked away. 

Nahida who had watched it all laughed quietly.

"I must say I am quite jealous of you now. You know Hat Guy, it's not every day the Creator themselves expresses their gratitude like this."

At the mention of the silly nickname, Reader relaxed and also laughed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @resident-cryptid @probablynoposts @esthelily @mitsukashi @charming-mage @chaoticfivesworld @irisxiel @dulcedelechenginamo @yu-ulda @samohxt2-0 @pinkpainc @vianitry

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin sagau #self aware au #self aware genshin #cult au #yandere #imposter au #sort of not really an imposter au #mentions of trauma #wanderer genshin #wanderer #nahida #the plot is moving along at least #i had no idea wanderer would become a part of this story lol

[razzle-zazzle]

How much time has passed in your Symbiosis Au from the ending of the second game?

Probably not more than a month or two at the most, when the Entity first latches onto Dion. Just long enough for the Entity to have figured out who the Aquatos are and come to the conscious decision to inject itself into the family, but also just soon enough that the Aquatos are still adjusting to,, well, everything, making it easier to write off small changes in Dion's behavior.

#ask zaz #symbiosis au #i don't have an exact timeline of the au so much as i have a bunch of little moments #where other characters notice something is off #as the mystery builds #also bc i'm mean to my faves dion hasn't really apologized to raz yet #oh‚ sure‚ he's done some little gestures for raz as a way of sort of apologizing #but he hasn't verbally apologized. not yet. he's still trying to find the words #''dion'' does apologize though. which dion's not okay with #because that should have been him apologizing to raz‚ not some imposter #it was his responsibility. and ''dion'' took that

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hi! Finally able to request. I really enjoy your work!

Can you try a creator who use their power through music (like singing or playing instrument) in an Imposter-AU with the Archons? (The voice of the Creator is heard as the sound of nature like wind or water, though. No one knows their true voice)

Thank you so much.

🎄Merry Christmas🎄

Welcome @peaceindreams ! I'll see what I can do with Your Request :D

Also VERY LATE Merry Christmas—I'm writing this a few days after Christmas.

Archons Realize Reader is a MUSICIAN WOAHHH

To be honest, you were kinda just minding your business when the Archons found you and your ever-singing glory.

They SHOOKETH so good job! Let's nitpick at their reactions! >:)

(Warning: Might be OOC!)

Venti

Wisp boi HELLA SHOOKETH. But he also happi boi so good job!

Wants to hear your voice sing and not the wind just continues to gently smack his face. Don't get him wrong, he's probably the only one who can actually listen and understand and compute with what you're singing, but like he really wants to hear your actual voice. He thinks it'll be such a treat!

"Your Graceee...Is there a way to let these humble gods hear your voice? Pleaseee? This bard will make a ballad about it and the world shall start spewing about it right after!~ Hehe, it'll be a big hit, one as grand as your visage!"

He really wants to hear you sing now. Good luck explaining that you got no control over dis :)

Zhongli

GRANDPA ABSOLUTELY SHOOKETH. But he finds it pleasant to see that you're having fun and enjoying your time in Teyvat.

Unlike the airhead beside him, he cannot understand what you are singing, and he feels kinda disappointed that he can't enjoy it too. He would share the memory—

Ahem, anyways. Loves it, 100%. Bro's a huge supporter even though he legit has, like, zero comprehension of the situation. He's also giving Venti some bombasic side-eyes.

"Your Grace, please do not be pressured by this wind god. While it would be a stunning blessing, do NOT feel like you owe us anything." You know those memes where like, one person is forcing someone's head to bow while they bow to apologize to whoever got offended? Yeah, it's that one meme except it's Zhongli making Venti bow for his idiocy.

Grandpa wants to hear your voice fr this time, but bro's not gonna force it upon you. Grandpa will, nevertheless, share the memory over osmanthus wine, because "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I—"

Ei

Raiden Ei, Raiden Ei...I honestly think she feels like she doesn't DESERVE to hear you sing. Like, she feels like she just intruded on your personal space and she crossed some sort of line.

But the wind's pleasant and all of the surrounding area is practically glowing as you sing. Your voice practically carries throughout the place, becoming the nature, the water, the wind, everything.

"Your Grace, you need not heed to the request at all. We are more blessed to be in your presence enough." As much as she's getting more and more used to the present times of Teyvat, she's still kinda stuck in her ways a little. She still thinks of you highly and does not let her beliefs falter.

She really doesn't think she deserves to hear your voice, but she is also very curious. Never wants to push though because she's old-school.

Puppet Shogun looking at this and going "This will be forever engraved in eternity" as Ei is shaking the Puppet Shogun by the shoulders like "NO, WE SHOULD NOT BE HEARING THIS WHAT KIND OF PROGRAM ARE YOU ON I DID NOT PROGRAM YOU LIKE THIS—"

All in all? Mental crisis! :D

Nahida

Cute god loves you! She loves how the flowers bloom, how the wind flows, how the water speaks—not even analogies can describe the amazingness of it all!

She's grinning so wide with such wholesome-wide eyes, like an actual child discovering music for the first time or smth ykwim? IT'S ADORABLE IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

"Your Grace...is it possible if we could see this more? You don't have to, of course, but this is really amazing!" She's practically GLOWING with excitement and nervousness. While Nahida wants to hear you sing and see you enjoying your time, she doesn't want to push boundaries!

Safe to say, she'll support whatever your answer will be!

Furina

Girl's flabbergasted. She thinks she might have been sent to both celestia and hell because it was hard to compute whether she was trespassing or if she was being blessed.

Furina is utterly speechless to how your voice alone commands presence and power without even needing to try so hard. Anyone, absolutely anyone, can tell you are truly the Almighty Creator.

Though she's retired from being the Hydro Archon, she still has the slight dramatic flare she has had for 500 years. And she's got to say, she absolutely loved your performance!

"Your Grace, if I could humbly suggest a request on the behest of the follow archons beside me." Furina dramatically bows a little. "May we be humbled by your presence, and continue to gaze upon our unfathomed eyes of what a real god can truly do in the likes of the world? I'm sure this will bring many beautiful pieces of art—be it music, visual arts, dramatic arts, and so on!" Girlie doesn't realize she made a beautiful monologue about your singing on the spot, but one thing's for sure—she loves you and you singing, even if her ears can't understand it. It was still a beautiful piece.

After all, she was the All-Powerful Hydro Archon before she retired. She knows power and art when she sees it, and you bypass all forms of mortal concepts. You're practically her favorite musician!

Please grace her—I mean them—with your singing! It's too beautiful to miss!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I am SAD I couldn't finish this when it was still AROUND CHRISTMAS SOBBING, but I hope y'all like this post, though! Hopefully my next post won't take too long—but I'm not gonna say anything because rn I'm EATING those words up like it's for breakfast lol—I'll see you all next time :)

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #yandere genshin x reader #sagau furina #sagau nahida #sagau ei #sagau zhongli #sagau venti #genshin x reader

[ma1dita]

about you

this was a request! read it here

words: 4.3k (longest one yet ohmy)

summary: james potter takes ‘easier’ for granted and finds out he now has a living reminder of that

warnings: none! sort of au, everyone lives and they win the war— angst angst angst, maybe open ended!!! groveling james and reader is a MOTHA (afab!)

a/n: guys i missed writing angst…i’m a deeply sad soul at heart so i enjoyed this a lot. I listened to ‘night shift’ by lucy dacus writing the first half, and ‘about you’ by the 1975 for the second half,,,,, both on repeat. i don’t mean to post at ungodly hours but i hope you enjoy!

posted: 11/11/23

—-

Insecurity is an ugly thing. It tugs at your frame, holding your shoulders hostage and your countenance shriveled in a scowl as you slink forward in your seat. But what should the rational reaction be when your boyfriend, the one you’ve planned out the rest of your life with— takes you out to dinner on a random Tuesday and then decidedly backtracks on everything you’ve built together? Your ears are ringing loudly, and you dumbly ask him to repeat himself when he says he wants to take a break.

“So that’s it then. You’ve made your decision and I just have to be okay with losing a year and a half of my life because you aren’t sure if you love me?” Your tone cuts through the fraying tether that holds you two together in the corner booth.

James for once, is at a loss for words. He wasn’t really sure of what to expect when he brought you here tonight, but any reaction to his admission was bound to hurt the both of you. You had to have known about his hesitations. Graduation was three weeks away, and everything was about to change, whether either of you liked it or not. Stupidly enough, James does love you, but that’s not the problem. The proximity he’s had as Head Boy working with Lily Evans makes him wonder if the life he lives is what’s meant for him. It keeps him up at night, gnawing at his resolve and comfort in being with you. He feels ungrateful to have it so easy. Loving you is easy. But the imposter syndrome sneaks into his room late at night in the form of ‘what if’.

“I…it’s just the timing of it all. We’re about to leave Hogwarts, and I don’t want to tie you down if I know I’m unsure of my—our future.”

He reaches out to grab your hand, and many a time ago, his sense of awareness was what you admired about him. You’d both get this familiar feeling of needing comfort, and within a minute, your fingers would intuitively find the other’s like it was second nature. Now, the thought of his touch might make you break his hand off to serve on a silver platter.

“Fuck your timing. If you think it’s as easy as making the decision to just quit while we’re ahead…. I love you. Don’t you…Is that not—” 

You clear your throat, the fire in your indignation being stifled by the whimpering feeling of knowing this was going to happen. The understanding of his plight, the knowing that he wants more. You could see it in the way his eyes wander when you all hang out, and you could feel it when he needs time to himself before bed, letting you back to your common room in the late hours alone. Screw your heart for appealing to his indecisiveness, his fear, when the final blow is aimed at the relationship you both once wanted together. Head Boy and Head Girl share living quarters after all. What chance did you stand against the girl he fell asleep a room away from? Maybe he dreams of her too, what you couldn’t give and what more she has to offer. 

“Tell me something James,” you choke as your body heaves with something akin to nausea. Being lovesick isn’t as romantic as it seems. The hopeless feeling in your tummy throbs as you clench your fists to keep it all down.

“Whatever you want.” 

His reply makes you laugh, desolation gripping your esophagus. Who knew feeling empty would feel like drowning? There is no more air left in your lungs that it almost incapacitates you, your last breath spilling out your final ask of him.

“Do you love me? What did I do?” 

The noise and chatter around you seems to fall silent as he zeroes in on your face, crestfallen from the words that leave your lips. It isn’t your fault, but how can he tell you that? At 18, he’s feeling stifled by the privilege of having his life all planned out for him. He knows people spend their lives searching for contentment but James can’t decipher if he’s right for all of this pressure falling upon his shoulders. The societal heir of his father’s business empire. The face of the upcoming war, bringing in a new generation of soldiers to fight. 

Deep inside, he’s a wild spirit just wanting to live, to be free. And it scares him that you’d follow him to the ends of the Earth, that there isn’t much thinking involved, just doing. The lack of autonomy stifles his soul. How does one know if they’re meant for more? James doesn’t want you to have to suffer the consequences if he can’t figure it out himself.

“I love you honey. So much it hurts me. I just wonder if it’s enough.” 

Your hands clatter onto the table, bumping your half-empty pint of butterbeer as you gather your things, shoving them into your knapsack as his final blow hits your senses. And all he does is watch you, face transfixed as if he sees nothing, like he isn’t making the biggest mistake of his life.

There’s no going back after this, you think silently as you steady your trembling hands. There’s also no way in hell you’ll let him see you cry. Fuck that. Your eyes fall over the curls that drape over the frame of his glasses, his face cradled by candlelight and dear Merlin, do you love this boy. All of him, even the parts that don’t reciprocate the feeling. This is the final snapshot in your memory of him, because this fleeting moment will have to be enough.

“I hope you get everything you ever wanted James. For my sake, I hope I never hear a thing about it.”

Perhaps having the last word will absolve you of the feeling that desecrates your entire essence as you put one foot in front of the other, pushing past the door of the Three Broomsticks and out into the unknown. But it’s not enough.

—

The break in routine absolutely shatters you, if we’re being honest. A year and a half of loving him, and three more before that of liking the slow steady burn that is James Potter…. It’s like looking at the world with new eyes and this window of opportunity with graduation nearing is your chance of starting anew. There’s also the custodial aspect after the end of a relationship, and it’s hard to separate the rest of what’s yours and his in your mind. Your friends are his, and his are yours. It makes quite a predicament to not have things so easy as they consider who to eat lunch with, or who’s dorm to hang out in. Hopefully, things get easier with time but you’re not as confident as you once were.

A part of you feels like you don’t belong anywhere anymore. James is the sun, after all; a natural leader— everyone revolves around his ingenious ideas and the light he brings. He’s the one who always has a plan, and everyone follows in his stead. Where do you fit in all of that? Where do you go?

His parents are likely the loveliest people to ever grace the wizarding world. Euphemia catches you by the arm after the graduation ceremony as you’re about to take the 7th year boat back across the Black Lake. With no family in attendance and no boyfriend to dote on, niceties were expended quick enough to want to run out of there and never look back.

“Darling, are you leaving without a goodbye?” Mrs. Potter smiles, calling her husband over both with grins made of sunlight. 

Somehow it resonates in your brain that it’s finally over, and your lip trembles when they pull you in for a hug that rivals your hunger to be loved. You think that even if your parents showed up today, it wouldn’t have felt this kind.

“Congratulations dearest! We’re so proud of you,” Fleamont rumbles, a big man with an even bigger heart as he brandishes flowers out of thin air to hand to you daintily. You’re going to miss them terribly. Is it wrong to want more of this? But you remember why it’s not as James’s cologne floods your senses and his silhouette creeps into your periphery. Your smile grows smaller as you two stare at each other and breathe the same air for the first time in almost a month. Whatever’s thrumming in your being, he holds the key to. Mr. and Mrs. Potter try to loop you into a photo together, the magical kind that moves to capture a memory so intimately but both of you stand perfectly still as his and your hesitant dismissals go unheard.

Loving hands fuss over both your caps and the way hair sticks out until you feel your shoulders jostle together for a moment and his hand lands on the small of your back. The flash goes off as you two look at each other in something that still resembles love. You can’t unlove him, not in a day, a month, or ever, you think. Not if you’ve bared your soul to him, even if he hurt you. 

You look away first, urging your heart to come back to reality. He’s not yours anymore, and you still love him. Alice told you earlier that he asked Lily out on a date for next Tuesday. What you were supposed to do with that information you’re unsure, but the feeling in your belly helps you say goodbye to the Potters, and clarify that they can keep the picture since you’re not James’ girlfriend anymore. An awkward silence settles over all four of you.

Euphemia rubs your cheek, hushed promises of keeping in touch while Fleamont looks at his son in confusion. James’ hand flexes in the absence of your body against his. He simply watches you walk away again, alone, while he’s surrounded by his friends and his family. The beating of a tiny heart matching your own as you hop onto the boat proves otherwise.

—-

A baby.

You think back to when it must’ve happened, the weekend before that Tuesday, when everything still felt right. With your last exams of your academic career finally done, both you and James were tangled in his silk sheets until dawn, an amalgamation of passionate whispers and lingering touches you could still feel in the days that followed. As you stared at the flutter of his eyelashes and relished the way he pulled you closer in his dream state, you were quite sure that he is, too, tangled within your soul to let go. That your doubts were residual anxiety from preparing for the future. For the first time in a while, you were reaffirmed that the boy sleeping next to you was your forever. Not being careful was a consequence of feeling safe in his arms, and subconsciously, you both hoped that everything would work itself out. As you walked out of the Head Students’ Lounge past noon with James’ hickeys as a necklace and donning your boyfriend’s shirt, you noticed the blush on Lily Evans’ face. You were just so sure, but that felt like forever ago.

Your parents weren’t happy when they came back from their business trip two months after graduation to find you four months along with a prominent bump and filled with so much fear. All plans of getting a job, of moving out, and joining the Order were now replaced with the startling fact that you are 18 and don’t have a single clue on what to do next. Your childhood bedroom feels smaller tonight, with both your parents standing at the door, all of you unsure of what to say. You can’t remember the last time they tucked you in, but as your dad takes a seat on the edge of your bed, it seems possible that maybe you won’t be alone in all of this.

“Whatever decision you make will be the right one, sweetie. If you love that baby, then we do too,” he sniffles, and you don’t recall having ever seen him this emotional before. One thing you are sure of, is this baby is loved, and made from love. The next is that England is not a safe place to raise your baby. 

Somewhere far away, in a hidden place guarded by some of the most experienced wizards, the Order of the Phoenix meets again to determine the future of the wizarding world. James’s eyes dart back and forth from the door to whichever adult is talking about the next mission. You didn’t show up again. All of the meetings so far where he was always the first one to arrive and the last to leave in hopes of getting a glimpse of you, and you never showed. There’s a deep worry that haunts him as the months pass by, and he knows that it would be easy to send you a letter, or to show up at your door, but he’s probably the last person you want to see. 

“We’re going out for a pint, you ready to leave James?” Lily whispers into his ear, arms curling around to his chest. But he’s not ready at all, sat on the sofa with his eyes on the door, just in case. Trying to love someone who’s still in love is a losing battle, Lily thinks, as she watches her boyfriend look like a child missing their favorite blanket. But in a war like this one, no one would be foolish enough to decline company.

“I’ll meet you there,” he smiles, leaning back to kiss her cheek. It’s cruel to both of them, the way he’s acting knowing that Lily won’t ever be you. Every chance he gets to have a moment to himself, he thinks of the despondent look on your face as you walked away from him and his parents that day. No more anger at all, no biting words or the fighting spirit that he knows and loves. Both of you just accepted what was to come.

Sirius and Remus approach him later after everyone’s left that they got word that you moved to America. He thinks of what could’ve been, and the thought of your safety is the only thing that lets his mind rest as guilt pushes and pulls at his heartstrings like waves.

He’s spent these months fighting in the war, loving and losing that he thinks this isn’t anything like the white house and picket fence fantasy you both used to cook up. As he grabs his coat to leave, James wonders if by being away from all of this you’ll get to live the life you want. 

—

“Okay honey, hold on tight to mama.” 

Your little boy was almost bouncing off the pavement with a chocolate covered grin, and it makes you laugh harder than it should. Maybe Florean Fortescue’s was not the way to start off your son’s first trip to Diagon Alley, but your new job at the Ministry starts tomorrow and you’ve been missing your favorite stationery. The town was packed with people with the war having ended and trying to start anew. You haven’t seen any familiar faces and maybe years ago that was a bad thing, but hope spreads over Diagon Alley with strangers smiling at Christopher as he skips on the cobblestone, almost tripping over his own feet at the entrance of Flourish and Blotts. 

He runs forward to explore the store as you smile at your creation, letting him wander along the aisles as you have done years before. Being back here is like walking through a memory, and though it used to be home, you know yours is walking around in tiny bright red shoes that light up like his smile. Your fingers flip through the different quills and parchment on display, and after finding everything you need, you hear your son’s laughter in the opposite corner of the shop. Motherly instincts always prevail as your feet guide you to the sound of his voice, since he’s never been one to shy away from a friendly conversation.

“Did you find everything you were looking for, honey?”

James’ head whips up from the tiny boy he was entertaining with color-changing quills to see you, and he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose to make sure he’s seeing properly. The both of you go quiet as time stands still, with Christopher chattering at your feet. 

“Mama! Look at this one, it goes rainbow!” he says, tugging at your coat to see the quill in James’s hand. The pieces start to fit together in James’ mind, looking at your pursed lip, then to the sight of this boy smiling with the innocence he had a lifetime ago. This boy, his son, has your eyes. You shake your head rapidly as he intakes a breath of air.

“Honey?” he whispers, knowing that was his name for you.

“So what, he looks like a honey,” you say defensively, grabbing your son’s hand.

He looks like my son, his eyes say—both of you look down to the child who’s all grins and none the wiser piping up.

“My name’s Topher!” 

“Yes it is, and now it’s time to say goodbye to the nice man, okay?” Topher pouts and looks up at his father without even knowing it, handing him the quill. 

“Keep it. I’ll pay for it, and then you can write to me,” he says almost desperately, losing grip of everything that he’s been trying to convince himself for the past 7 years. 

“Don’t be weird, Potter. Don’t…” you shake your head, eyes misting over. Seeing him again brought back everything. It was already overwhelming to have a kid that’s almost the splitting image of him, to learn of a love so pure after one that’s wrecked you to your core, but being here, within arms reach… You’re 18 again and scrambling away from the corner booth trying to get away from the man you love most not wanting you in return.

“Honey, why don’t you give us a minute to talk? Go find me some cool enchanted stickers for me to bring to work tomorrow, okay?” Your baby runs off without even questioning it, his sense of adventure also inherited from his father.

“I’m…so sorry.” James moves closer to you, and you take a step back sighing humorlessly.

“For what? He’s an amazing kid. Even though… he wasn’t planned, I don’t think I could ever see my life turning out any other way.” You shift your weight to your other foot. He looks, successful, if that’s something he would be proud of. He’s wearing an impressive suit, and his eyes are a bit hardened by the past few years, but his charisma, his smile…. He’s still the boy you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I feel foolish. I was so scared to live my life and then here you are raising our child…” 

You blink softly at his words, and it reminds him of your youth, all doe-eyed and full of want. You used to want him like he still wants you. In front of him is a grown woman, a mother who’s strong and filled with memories and love that he should’ve been a part of.

“Things happen for a reason, James. We both did what we had to do.”

His hand brushes yours, and you realize you’ve been without his touch for 7 years. 7 years of being scrubbed clean of James Potter, and not a single regenerated cell in your body has been touched by him. But your son is of him, so you think that no matter how this ends, there will always be a part of you that loves James too.

You extend an olive branch to have him come to your apartment this weekend and get to talk. He knows he doesn’t deserve this kindness, but you know he deserves to meet his son.

—-

The doorbell rings and you take a deep breath as you open the front door, looking up at him holding a teddy bear for Topher.

“He’s still down for a nap. Let’s go sit in the den.” You say quietly. The hallway is filled with pictures of your boy, and of you in different stages these past few years. He stops at a portrait of your parents with Topher being swung between them.

“Your parents….”

“Were supportive; I wasn’t alone,” you muse, knowing he knows of your strained relationship with them back then.

“They actually just retired early last year. Overworked themselves and finally comfortable, so they help out when they can. What about yours?” Trying to make conversation with your ex is terribly hard, but it’s in good spirit and there’s not much to do until Topher wakes up.

“They passed, actually. Mum at the end of the war, and dad 6 months after. Never wanted to be apart, you know that.”

Your face falls at his revelation, “I’m sorry for your loss. They were amazing people. Taught me what it meant to be a parent, for sure.” Amicable silence fills the living room before you clear your throat.

“I have to be blunt, James. What do you want from this? You must be married and busy, so if Topher can’t fit into that….”

“I’m neither of those things, honey. I want to try and see where this goes,” he says scratching the back of his neck. 

Your heart stops at his endearment, catching yourself looking at him seriously. 

“You can hurt me, but I’m not letting you do that to him. Back then, you were all I ever wanted love to be. And then I had my beautiful baby, and I suddenly knew my love meant more.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. It was a mistake, because I was too proud to accept that I had it good. That what I had was meant for me.” James grabs your hands, begging for you to understand. The lost boy he was is a lifetime away from the man sitting in front of you now. Though it’s touching, you keep your heart guarded because the little boy sleeping down the hall is your biggest priority. You hope he can understand that too.

“He’s not a placeholder for your dreams of wanting a family. You have to build that, I did that myself. I’m not going to let you string him along and then once you have a family of your own, you just up and leave.” 

“I know. I was hoping the both of you could be my family, if you give me the chance.” You bite your lip as your thumb runs against his. It’s easier to forgive than to forget. But for Topher’s sake, you can try. 

“Tell me something James,” you whisper, having needed to know this for the past 7 years.

“Why did you throw it all away? Was the idea of loving me…so terrible?” He tilts your chin up, and you think that the earnest look on his face is the closure you needed to properly forgive him.

“I’ve never stopped loving you. Loving you is the best part of knowing you. Do you think I ever forgot about you?” He chuckles lowly, brushing back a strand of your hair, and you think this could be dangerous if you let yourself get too close. 

“I’ve thought about you everyday for the past 7 years, I just didn’t think I deserved you after everything I’ve done. I was so stupid, I am still. But I’m trying to be better.”

“You think of me but dreamt of her. Was it guilt?” Your hand grabs his as you move it away from your cheek, settling onto your lap. The air around you is suffocating.

“It took time for me to figure out that it was intention. Lily was a distraction. You’ve consumed me since the day I met you. My dreams, my thoughts… All of it is you. I choose to think about you as much as I can, because if I didn’t I was scared I’d forget all the good things about us back then.”

You both hear a thump from your son’s room and realize you’re wiping tears away. James stands up when you do, and both pairs of your socked feet pad closer to your son’s room. 

“We start this slow. We make decisions together, and if there’s any inkling I get that he doesn’t want this, it’s done. You understand?” Your hands are firm on the doorknob as he’s standing close behind you, hanging onto every word.

“Every word. There’s no turning back from this.” He wants to ask another question, but before he can, your hand unconsciously finds his and your grip is so comforting that he notices himself sniffle. 

“If it all goes well, and if you want, we can try again. But that’s in the far distant future, James Potter.”

“Anything you want, honey. That’s the future I’ve been dreaming of.” With you. Your lips quirk into a smile as they brush against his cheek.

Slowly opening the door to both watch your son wake up from his nap, your hand pulls James into the room behind you. Quietly, he sits on the edge of Christopher’s bed, and when his son looks up at him, you both notice the little boy beaming like the sun. 

—-

“Everything you love is very likely to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way.” -Franz Kafka

taglist: @jsjcue

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing:

night shift by lucy dacus & about you by the 1975

#made by ma1dita ♥︎ #marauders era #james potter x reader #marauders x reader #james potter x reader angst

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #neuvillette #focalors #furina #dont ask what happened here idk #this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i. #dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up #got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story #focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment) #shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her #what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell #neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all #ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :( #furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions #using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS #constant anxiety and panic 24/7 #will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry #compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more #i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY #i want 2 put them under a microscope #watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving #anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days

[hyperfixat]

okay first of all hiiii genshin community this is my first ever fic for the fandom and i’ve only been playing for about a month and a half TT although i am already at AR 50, so i’m decently confident in writing this.

this is taking place in a self aware genshin alternate universe where the reader has been accused of being an imposter; aka imposter!au. contains fontaine characters >:3

btw. while i am in fontaine’s archon quest, i know little about wrio… and the fortress of meropide, so i took some liberties. and i’m not a lawyer or anything so. expect errors.

600+ Words.

You don’t think this is how prisoners should be treated, what with the heavy white iron shackles, tightly welded around your ankles, wrists, neck, and midriff. It’s excessive, really. Nameless guards and Wriothesley himself escort you to the opera house where your trial shall be held.

As you’re dragged along, you pass hordes of not just Fontaine’s citizens, but international crowds have gathered to see you fall.

You don’t have much hope.

The accusations against you are… grim, it seems. Stealing the face and body of the divine, what is that even supposed to mean? This is your body, how you’ve always been. You can’t even imagine what sort of divine being would sentence someone to… death(?) for simply bearing a striking resemblance to them. The court shall see.

You’d been so excited to see these characters, especially the beautiful Fontainians, but now as you catch sight of Neuvillette, nothing but bitter fear and dread fill you.

Those eyes; gray, blue, purple, undoubtedly gorgeous, are serious, befitting the Iudex. Though you never thought you would be surveyed under them.

“Order in the court.” Neuvillette calls out as the packed audience quiets down from their excited buzz. Furina holds a hand over her chest dramatically, waltzing to the edge of her balcony.

“Will the prosecution please state the reasons behind today’s trial? Lady Furina?” Neuvillette prompts the lady.

“Indeed.” She agrees grandly. “The guilty—!”

“Accused.” Neuvillette interjects.

“Accused,” Furina repeats. “Is charged with attempting to infiltrate the rightful spot of the Creator, a grave sin.”

The crowd boos.

“Don’t worry, my dear citizens and travelers from afar, we will see justice delivered to this sinner!”

“Order.” Neuvillette calls and the crowd hushes. “Will the prosecution present evidence to support their claim?”

“Look at them, Monsieur Neuvillette! The whole room can clearly see that they have crafted themself a mirror image of our true god!” The room rumbles in agreement. Your brow knits with worry, unsure of how (if) you’ll get out of this situation.

Neuvillette turn his gaze solely onto you, looking down from his seat as judge. A few moments of his scrutiny pass. “Defendant, can you refute these claims?”

You try.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I swear on my life, I haven’t intended to offend anyone, this is just how I look. No one will call me by my name—.”

“Boo!” Lady Furina calls from her seat, hushing when Neuvillette sends a sharp look her way.

“—I will admit I’m not from this world, but I don’t know how to explain any of that. I haven’t meant to do any harm.” You look to the crowd. “I’m sorry.”

The Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale shifts, one of the weights pulling down, you aren’t sure if it’s in your favor, and doubt it is.

“Is that all from the defendant?” It is. No lawyer would dare represent you, not even a public defense attorney.

“We turn to the judgment of the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale to give us the results of this trial.” With his words the machine rumbles and the sides of the scale quickly move up and down. It settle in the middle and a slip of paper slides out.

“Our defendant is…” the room simultaneously brings in a breath of air. Neuvillette’s voice chokes up. “Innocent.”

“No!” “Impossible!” “Fraudulent!”

“Oh, give me a break.” You moan at the reactions.

Lady Furina, narrows her eyes at you. “Let us settle this with a duel!”

The guards that led you here begin gathering your chains and you panic.

“Wait! Please!” You cry out one last desperate attempt. Neuvillette pauses, looking at you from the side of his eye. The hand holding the oratrice’s results stills.

“Do the words Genshin Impact mean anything to you?”

#verified hyperfixat post #sagau #genshin impact #genshin x reader #fontaine x reader #fontaine characters #neuvilette x reader #furina x reader #genshin self aware #self aware genshin au #imposter au #genshin imposter au #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #imposter sagau #sagau impostor au

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Take Me to Wonderland✨

A/N: Thank you so much @5oh5 for being my beta, I so appreciate it 🩷 This fic took over my mind last week and I just had to write it out. This one was super self-indulgent for me. I’ve always loved Alice in Wonderland and thought I could definitely pull Joel into the mix. I hope you enjoy going to Wonderland with Joel 🥹

Summary: You find yourself in Wonderland, but you think you’ve been here before. And the handsome stranger, Joel Miller, is someone that definitely seems familiar.

Pairing: Joel x fem! reader

Word Count: 14.7k

Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)

Tags: Soft Joel, soft dom! Joel, no outbreak, Alice in Wonderland AU, smut, creampie, unprotected p in v, oral receiving (fem), reader finds Wonderland, lots of fluff

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

 The bright lights from the lavish dinner party hall give you a blaring headache. This is the third one this week you’ve had to attend. It’s just the same routine. Another dinner, more socializing you don’t want to be a part of, putting on fake smiles to impress some higher up rich snobs just so you can make a good impression for your company. 

   You’re exhausted, so brutally tired that you could probably crawl up on one of the window sills and take a much needed cat nap with the way your body is lagging in your sparkly wedges. You drag your feet across the polished wooden floor and press your hands down firmly against your short sky blue dress, the fabric swishing around your soft thighs as you smooth the skirt out. 

   The smell of expensive wine and top brand steak lace through the air, the sound of soft classical music buzzing through your ears as you casually slide by important business men and women intermingling on the middle of the dance floor. 

   You pick up a glass of champagne and let the harsh taste slide down your parched throat, letting the liquid bubble inside you as you set it back down against the silky white table cloth. You want to go home, leave this fancy feast where talk of money and stocks fly through the air. If only there was some sort of distraction that could take you away from it all. 

   Suddenly, you see fast movements from the corner of your right eye. You shoot your head that direction and see what looks to be a white cotton tail jump through the sea of Coach shoes and fancy tailored suits. You move your head to see around a woman’s long silky coat and see flurries of hopping movements, the color of snow dancing through the crowd. 

   You take a few steps forward to see just what it is, your curiosity getting the best of you. You take one more step and stop the moment you see just what it is. A small white rabbit sits in the middle of the crowd. It has long white ears, probably as smooth as a feather, and big blue eyes that seem to look inside your soul. It holds up a golden watch and points straight at the hour hand and turns back around, running toward the long, empty hall outside of the ballroom. 

   A white rabbit? Did no one else see that? Are you just that tired that you’re hallucinating? 

   You look around to all the people in the crowd, but no one seems to notice the white rabbit that just leapt its way through the ballroom, and no one seems to notice your wide-eyed gaze. You turn to the brown wooden door and see the white rabbit point once more to its shiny watch, nodding its head as it runs outside of the room and disappears. 

   You take a step forward in the direction the rabbit went, but then stop a moment. Are you really going to chase after something that has to be an illusion? You look back to the sea of faces you don’t even know, watching as their fake laughter and imposter stances make you sick. You take one more look to the open door and nod. Hell yes you’re going to chase after a white rabbit. 

   You sprint to the door, careful not to trip over your high wedges as you chase after the rabbit. You see it at the end of the hall waiting for you, fluffy ears standing high as it holds the ticking watch in its hands as the shine of the watch reflects off the clear glass windows. It runs around the corner, not waiting for you as it keeps going. A clear game of tag as the rabbit seems amused at your clear exhaustion of trying to catch it. 

   “Wait!” you shout down the echoing halls, hoping the rabbit will hear you, but when you turn it’s disappearing yet again. This time, going through a small, dark hole in the wall as it drops the grand watch to the marble floor, not stopping to pick it up. 

   “Wait, you forgot this!” you shout frantically as you run over and bend down, picking up the watch as your fingers run idly over the golden watch. The watch strikes 7:30pm as its golden second hand spins in a cycle, the minutes ticking by as you hear the faint noise of the watch. 

   Tick, tick, tick. As the seconds pass by, the ticking seems to stir something in you as you look over to the dark hole in the wall, just big enough to crawl through. You could squeeze in, but should you? You don’t know what’s past the darkness of that wall. 

   You look back down the long hallway and hear the vacant laughs and chimes of silverware floating down the hall. You have a choice. You either go back in that loud, rambling room of rich pricks or you can go explore the darkness of the hole the white rabbit went through. 

   You only have one choice. Go chase a fantasy or walk back into a room of people you don’t care about. Your head turns quickly back toward the dark hole, and you decide then. 

   You choose the fantasy. 

   You hold tight to the golden watch and sink to your knees as you leave the crowded party down the hall and enter into a quiet, dark tunnel- like hole. The walls are hollow, damp corners filling your vision until you can see nothing but pitch black. You keep on pushing your way through, grunting with all your might as you squeeze through the narrowing walls. 

   The floor turns from marble flooring to thick, rich grass as you crawl and crawl and crawl until suddenly the opening of the room is large, towering above you. Deep green grass surrounds you, a lofty ceiling made of moss hangs freely from the darkness, and then you see a bright light. 

   You shift your way through the plushy grass and look through a little keyhole as warm light bursts through. You place your hands on the intricate pink doorway and look through the tiny hole. There, in the middle of a cobblestone path, stands the rabbit. It looks back at you, nodding its head as if to say “Come on now, you’re late.”

   You push on the heavy door, putting every ounce of strength into your arms as you can until you hear a locking sound click into place. You shove once more and then you’re falling forward as the doorway jars open. 

   You land with a thud on the concrete steps and take a minute to smooth out your dress as you stand up. Once you do, you watch the white rabbit speed off ahead of you, daring you to chase after it. You’re awfully sick of playing this game of tag, but you run after it into a sea of green as you enter into a maze of thick bushes. 

   The rabbit jumps through the green maze, zipping around tight corners as you huff to try to keep up. You nearly run straight into a tall, mangy bush as you slide amongst the slippery pebbled path. 

   “Wait!” you call out. “You’re going too fast, please!” 

   Just as the rabbit disappears around another corner and you follow after it, you wind up in a massive open area. You stop and gasp as you take in the tall, colorful wildflowers, the rush of the lilac scented breeze, the mist of a flowing river as a rushing waterfall tumbles into the clear, blue water. 

   What is this place?

   The rabbit hops up to you and grabs the golden watch from your hand, stealing it back as its furry paw flexes around it.   

   “You’re late.” The voice comes out deep, the sound of a male’s voice as he hops off into a thick, green forest. Before he disappears completely, he sticks his furry ears out behind a tree and curls a paw his way. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on! He’s waiting,” he calls as he disappears behind a sea of thick trees. 

   He’s waiting? Who is waiting? And did that rabbit just talk? You must be losing your mind.

   You shake your head clear as you walk past a patch of colorful wildflowers. Lilies, tulips, and flowers you don’t know the names of all sprawl out in a thick patch of colors. Vibrant purples, blues, pinks, greens, yellows, and reds collide together in a row of lavish intricacy. 

   As you look across the patch of lush green grass you see white roses that drip red, mixing the colors together as if blood stains the pure white roses. You find it kind of odd to have a field of untouched, beautiful wildflowers and then a row of rose bushes that seem to be tainted by paint. 

   “Odd. This place is so odd,” you murmur as you move along the straight trail that will lead you to the trees where the rabbit disappeared. “Silly rabbit, what am I possibly late for? Who was he talking about when he said he’s waiting? Who is he?” 

   The questions swirl through your head as you pass through the flower field. You hear whispers, quiet and meek as they dance through the large, colorful field. She’s here. She’s finally here! Oh, finally. He’s been waiting for so long. 

   Are the flowers talking about you? Is that what you’re hearing? No. It can’t possibly be. This is too much. You have to be hallucinating or asleep. This isn’t real. None of this is real. 

   You push yourself further up the path, passing painted butterflies of orange, blue, and white colors as they flutter above your head. The area is so green, lush grass and vibrant plants every which way you look. Glowing mushrooms the color of hot pink line the way through the thick trees, and you follow. 

   You end up on a winding path, a soft, salmon colored dust path that splits off into four different directions. You turn to the left, to the right, looking all four ways as your mind races like a ticking clock. 

   A large white wooden sign sits to the left of the path, arrows pointing in all different directions as the signs read This Way, That Way, Up Here, Wrong Way, Down Here. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of this madness. How the fuck were you going to get out of this mess if the signs couldn’t even be read?!

   You stomp one of your shoes into the dirt and kick some pink dust up, feeling yourself losing your patience as this place isn’t making any sense. First, there was a white rabbit with a golden watch, then you crawled through a small hole that led you to some sort of fantasy land, then the rabbit accused you of being late, and now this. 

   You kick the edge of the wooden sign with your foot aggressively and let out a deep huff. “How do I get out of here?” you sigh as you cross your arms and furrow your eyebrows together. 

   “You want to get out of here? But you only just got here!” A slithery, deep voice slips down from one of the jacaranda trees and startles you as you jump back from the voice.

   “Who’s there?” you ask shakily as you look up into the big purple leaves of the massive trees. You search and search until a large cat comes out of the shadows and shows its face. You stop in your tracks and look up as a pair of big green eyes appear on a low hanging branch. Its body materializes next as thick lines of purple and pink paint its long-haired fur. 

   “Who is there is a good question, isn’t it? I know who you are, but you don’t know me. How intriguing,” he smiles as he hangs off the branch and twists his body to where his face is right in front of yours. His green eyes glow like fairy lanterns and his pearly white sharp incisors seem to go on for miles. 

   “How do you know who I am?” you ask nervously as you stare back into eyes that lock on yours. His smile widens as he drops his body further, seeming to float in space as he places his sharp paws underneath his chin. 

   “Oh, my dear. Everyone knows who you are here. It’s no secret. We’ve been waiting. Mostly he’s been waiting. And what a treat that’ll be. You’re even prettier than I imagined,” he chuckles deeply as he spins his body around yours, floating in thin air. 

   “Who is he that everyone seems to be talking about?” you ask annoyed as you cross your bare arms over your chest and turn to follow his floating body. You want answers and you want them now. 

   “You’ll find out soon, very soon,” he laughs as his fanned out tail glides against your shoulder, leaving a feather-like touch to your skin. 

   “Fine, if you won’t tell me then just tell me which way I’ll find him,” you demand as you place your hands on your hips, letting the soft material of your blue dress sink through you. 

   “This way,” he points to the left, his claws sharp like knives as he switches directions and points to the right. “No, this way. Actually, maybe it’s north of here,” he smiles as he points up from where he floats. 

   You purse your lips to try to keep yourself calm. “Please, just tell me where to go,” you plead, eyes burning red as you try to keep your composure together, but it’s slowly breaking the more this cat plays with you. 

   “You’re exactly where you need to be, my dear. Just hold tight,” he smiles as he disappears into thin air, his voice carrying through the wind as it slowly slips away. Vanishing just like that. 

   You look every which way while fisting your hands to your side and turn back toward the direction you first came, looking out into the wildflower fields that paint the ground a sea of rainbow colors. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, letting the cool breeze hit your skin as you inhale scents of fresh roses and lilty daisies. 

   “Home, I need to get back home,” you whisper silently. 

   Just as you take another deep breath, you hear the deep sound of a throat being cleared and then a rugged, gravelly voice break you free of your thoughts of home. 

   “You lost there, darlin?” 

   You turn back around, as quick as a bolt of crisp lightning, and you’re about to chew the cat back out until you realize it’s not him. It’s a man. Him. It has to be the one they were all talking about. 

   You watch as he leans up against the rough bark of a winding tree, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leans and watches you closely, eyes trailing down your body as he takes you in nice and slow. Suddenly you’re completely nervous and forgetting your words as you take him in. 

   Tall. He’s so tall, a little over six feet if you had to guess. His eyes are like pools of honey. Deep, brown eyes that seem to have flecks of warmth sprinkled all around them. And his arms. God, his arms. Large, muscular as his biceps pull at the blue flannel button-up that wraps tightly around him. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing large veins that seem to thread and skate down his arms as they end in massive hands. Hands that probably feel warm, safe. 

   His blue jeans cling to his thick thighs as clean leather boots lace up over his large feet. He smirks over at you, a flirtatious, playful look that says he’s trouble written all over that gorgeous face. A smooth, patchy beard and mustache cover his face with silver lining the edges. And his hair. Dark tousled curls that spill over the edges of his forehead, and you think they look soft to the touch, maybe even like velvet. 

   He looks like trouble to you. Warm, inviting, fun trouble. 

   God, he’s so handsome. 

   “Well?” he asks again, waiting for you to answer. 

   “I…I…” you stutter out, unable to even form a comprehensive sentence. What the fuck is wrong with you? 

   “Cat got your tongue?” he chuckles as the deep sound from his chest seems to reverberate right off the hollow tree barks, landing right into your own chest. It’s like you can feel his laugh. Warm, syrupy, infectious. He’s like a dream. A dream that doesn’t seem to be quite real.

   You shake your head, clearing the fog as you find your words again. “I was just looking for my way out of here. Back home,” you answer as you take a step forward and lace your fingers together as you hold them nervously behind your back. 

   “Back home? You already want to leave so soon?” he laughs as he pushes himself off the tree and takes a few steps forward, crunching his leather boots over the salmon colored dirt of the road. 

   “Of course she doesn’t. She hasn’t even seen all of Wonderland yet,” the cat replies as he comes out of thin air and rests on the handsome man’s shoulders, his lined purple tail curling around his long neck. “I think she wants you to show her Wonderland,” he says with mischief written all over those glowing green cat eyes. 

   “Wonderland?” you ask with your eyebrows knit together in concentration. “What’s Wonderland?” 

   The cat twists its flexible body over the man’s arm, floating off to his side as he smiles brightly up at him. “I’ll let you lead the way. Good luck,” he grins as a loud laugh carries through every path of the massive forest. “Goodbye, pretty girl,” he calls as he vanishes once again into thin air, only the glow of his jagged smile staying in the cotton clouds, high above the trees. 

   You shake your head and laugh under your breath. This place isn’t real. It can’t be. “Who was that?” you ask the man as he crosses his arms and looks over at you with a gleam in his shiny brown eyes.

  “That’s the Cheshire Cat. You can just call him Ches for short. That’s what we all call him,” he replies as he takes another step toward you, getting so close that you can smell him. Rich mahogany and the scent of deep pine needles. Intoxicating. 

   “And you? Who are you?” you ask as you flick your eyes over him, seeing just how large in stature he is. 

   “The name’s Joel. Joel Miller,” he nods as he sticks a large hand out to you, edging you to take it as he shoves it closer to you after you do nothing but stare at it. 

   You finally get the courage to reach your hand out and place it in his. You gasp as soon as he closes his strong grip on yours. His fingers are thick, calloused, warm as you slowly shake his hand. 

   His eyes lock on yours and it’s like you’re frozen in time, flecks of golden brown staring back at you as you quickly come back to reality. You drop his hand and take a step back, breaking the soft introduction as you stare at the small crevices in the ground. 

   “I know who you are.” He says your name softly as if he’s known you for years. And it sounds so good coming off his tongue, like a melody that sweeps past the breeze and lands right into a large bed of wildflowers. Gentle. He says your name so gently, soft. But how does he know your name? This doesn’t make any sense. 

   “How do you know my name?” you ask suspiciously as you watch him shift his weight back and forth against the firm ground. 

   He chuckles like this is all a game to him, like you know him already when in reality he’s a complete stranger. Someone you’ve never met. You would’ve remembered if you met someone like him before. 

   “There’s a lot I know about you, sweetheart,” he smirks, a devastatingly handsome smile that you can’t help but melt over.

   Sweetheart? Something shifts inside you as you take in his handsome face, his warm eyes that seem to drip like flowing honey. A gleam in his eye that tells you you do know him. But how? You want to stare into those entrancing eyes, want to walk over and trace your fingers against the starry flecks of warmth, but there’s no time for that. You need answers, now. 

   “What is this place? Wonderland is what Ches said. What’s Wonderland?” 

   Joel just laughs and shakes his head. “Wonderland has been here for a very long time. It’s been here waiting for you. It’s been so long, darlin’. So very long. We didn’t think you’d ever come,” he says quietly as he huffs a sigh of relief that you’re actually standing here in front of him. 

   “You’ve been waiting? What? I don’t understand. I’ve never been here before. This has got to be some sick fantasy. I must’ve fallen and bumped my head. None of this is real.” 

   “You sure about that, sweetheart?” he asks as one of his dark eyebrows raises high on his forehead, eyes staring at you as if he’s waiting for you to say something else. 

   You question his stance but quickly shake your head out of the daze. “Yes, this isn’t real. Now I’m going to close my eyes and pinch myself and then I’ll wake up back in the real world,” you confirm as you close your eyes tightly and dream of home. 

   Home. You mean back to your overwhelming, overworked life as you engage in endless meetings and parties with people that don’t matter. Is that what you really want to go back to? Is that what you want?

   You keep your eyes sealed closed as you grit your teeth together and think of home. Home. Back to your warm bed and back to your cat, Duchess. You feel a pinch sting your arm as you squeeze your fingertips together, but to no avail. It doesn’t seem to work.

   You hear the sounds of a deep chuckle rumbling in front of you, and then you peel your eyes open to see Joel standing a few paces away as he crosses his strong arms and shakes his head in dismissal. He’s laughing at you. 

   “What’s so funny?” you ask annoyed, huffing out as you see you’re still in Wonderland. It didn’t work. 

   “Didn’t work, did it?” he smirks, his large hand dragging  down his coarse beard as his penetrating gaze keeps you in place. 

   You gulp, catching your own breath as you answer quietly. “No. I guess it didn’t…”

   “That’s because this is real,” he confirms as he takes another step closer to you, boots scuffing against the dirt as he takes another and another and another until he’s standing right in front of you, wild brown eyes sinking down into yours. 

   You shake your head, unwilling to accept that this may very well be real. “This isn’t real. You’re not real.”

   “Not real, huh? Reach out and touch the trunk of the tree,” he instructs as his gentle voice carries through the crisp air. 

   “Why?”

   “Just do it, will ya?” he asks with more force in his rugged voice, the sound making you stand up straighter as it reverberates down your spine. 

   “You’re a stubborn one, ain’t ya?” he chuckles, a Southern drawl carrying through the wind as it lands straight through your ringing eardrums. 

   “Guess so,” you laugh. 

   You reach your arm out timidly and stroke the dark bark of the tree, feeling the rough edges snag against the palm of your hand. 

   “There ya go, just like that,” he praises as you feel his hot breath breathing down your neck, your skin suddenly boiling alive as you breathe in the scent of fresh bark and wood as it seems to cloud your racing mind. 

   You take a step back out of his reach and look nervously around you. It sure felt real, but it still didn’t explain how you were here. 

   As if he sees the wavering expression on your face, he speaks again. Low and gruff sounds falling off the tip of his tongue. “This place is real. Just as much as I am. Here, close your eyes for a second,” he says nicely as he takes another step forward. 

   You take a step back, and he holds his hands up to say he’s not going to hurt you. “Please, just for a second. Close ‘em. Need you to trust me, sweetheart.”

   As your mind caves to his request, you find yourself obeying. You close your eyes and twist your fingers around the hem of your dress, letting the nerves drift away as you try to relax. 

   “Now, take a deep breath. Focus on the sounds of the rushing water, the trees gently blowing through the wind, the air around you as it blows through your hair. Just listen, get lost in the sounds, in yourself,” he instructs with a lilty voice, the sounds instantly calming you as you follow his instructions. 

   You slow your breathing down, taking nice, deep breaths as you lose yourself to your surroundings. You hear the faint hum of honey bees dancing through the wildflowers, feel the rush of spring air as it blows gently through your flowing hair, hear the trickle of the river as the distant waterfall clashes against rocks and smooth water. 

   Focus. Deep breaths. This is real, this is real. 

   Before you can take another breath, a large palm slides against your cheek, and you almost jolt at the electric spark it ignites in your body. 

   “Does this feel real to you?” he asks quietly, the volume of his words coming off as composed, soft, warm. 

   You carefully place your hand over his as you feel the opposite textures of his skin. The back of his hand is soft, smooth as your fingers timidly graze along his tanned skin. His palm is rough, calloused fingers hovering over your jawline as his thick fingers stay right there on your face. 

   It feels strange how warm and inviting he feels, how vaguely familiar he seems as you breathe in the taste of mahogany and pinewood, letting the scent coat your lungs as you drink it down. You want to box it up, wrap it tightly in a jar so you can fill your surroundings with the smell of him. 

   “Open your eyes,” he whispers, his hand still grazing your jawline as you flutter your eyelids open. 

   Your eyes grow wide as you see him standing right in front of you, boots meeting the edges of your open wedge shoes as you see just how clear and coated his glossy brown eyes are now. 

   “This real enough for you?” he asks quietly as he slides his calloused thumb across your cheek once more, filling your insides with warmth and peace. A peace you’ve been craving for months. 

   “Yes,” you whisper out, voice deceiving you as he drops his hand and chuckles, taking a step back as he digs his fingers into the pocket of his dark jeans. You’re suddenly  aware that the warmth is gone from your face. It left the moment he dropped his fingers from your jawline. 

   You take a moment to breathe, letting the warm sunlight wash over your fair skin as you let the scent of lilies and forest scents bring you back to earth. You take one more deep breath and ask the question that haunts your mind.

   “What am I doing here, Joel? How am I? I just… I just don’t understand.” Your right hand grabs the edge of the satiny material of your light blue dress as your eyes wander back over to the man with broad shoulders and beautiful eyes. 

   He shrugs a little, but smiles underneath the hoods of his brown eyes. “You needed an escape, darlin’. You opened the door to Wonderland. You found it, with a little help from the white rabbit,” he responds with a deep chuckle. “But, ultimately, you found it on your own. It’s your fantasy land.”

   “My fantasy land? But I… I’ve never been here before. How could it be mine if I didn’t even know about it? And you. How could you possibly know I was coming?” you ask with your voice raised, endless questions brewing as if this was all impossible in the first place. 

   Impossible. This place is impossible. 

   “I wasn’t sure you would come. I only hoped you would,” he says softly as warm brown eyes look down into yours, feelings stirring inside you that you can’t quite decipher. Too twisted, too tied in knots, too risky to untangle. 

   “Why do I feel like I’ve known you for years? I only just met you…” you whisper vacantly, your voice hollowing out on the last syllable as something snaps inside you. A feeling of… tranquility. 

   “A funny feelin’, ain’t it? Those feelings are never really wrong though, are they?”

   His pondering questions make you feel crazy, mind boggling as you slowly shake your head. No. That can’t be true. Or is he just twisting your mind to make you believe whatever he says? But somehow you know he’s not lying to you. He wouldn’t. Somehow you know he’s not playing tricks on you. Deep down you know, he’s telling the truth.

   You run your fingers through your hair and let them fall back down to your sides unfaltering. “Am I mad? Have I lost my mind?” you ask distraughtly as you bite your lower lip and knit your eyebrows together in deep thought. 

   He takes a step forward, golden eyes shining in the sunlight as he laughs and shakes his head. “We’re all a little mad here, darlin’.” 

   You stifle a small laugh and shake your head knowingly. “Mmm,” you hum as you take in the madness of the words. 

   We’re all mad here. 

   He nods his head as a curl falls down against his forehead, leaning toward the winding path that’ll take you north into a forest of wonders. “C’mon. Follow me.”

   Follow me. The words twist off his tongue as they echo through your mind. Follow me. What will happen if you do follow him? 

   You turn back toward the way you came, eyes searching for a hidden door you can’t see anymore. Covered by twisting vines and a sea of green mazes that snake around the overflowing garden. No turning back now. 

   You feel Joel’s large presence behind you, drawing closer and closer until he’s right behind you as his dark shadow falls across the salmon colored pathway. You inhale a deep breath, but all you smell is pine needles and fresh wood and maybe a hint of fresh cut grass. You smell him. 

   “You’ve gotta stop lookin’ back from the way you came, sweetheart. I know that’s the last place you want to be right now. You want to be away from the noise, the stress, the fake smiles.” 

   His voice slides against the shell of your ear, reverberating down to your chest as his words sting your insides. Of course you don’t want to go back to that. So why are you looking back? 

   “What are you so scared of, sweetheart? Hmm?” he asks quietly, his fingertips grazing the edge of your arm as goosebumps form over the sensitive areas he touches. Wildfire burning in the thick brush of trees is what it feels like. Fiery, tempting, smoldering. You can almost taste the flames. Those stirring, enticing flames. 

   “Everything,” you whisper, pulling all the courage in your gut to answer his question. What are you so scared of? 

   “Everything, huh? Darlin’, you don’t have to be scared of me. You don’t have to fear this place. This is your safe haven, your sanctuary. Take a leap of faith. Come join me. Follow me through the trees. There’s nothin’ to fear. The only thing you should fear is time itself. So relax. Can you do that for me?” he asks, his hot breath blowing down your exposed neck as you feel his large hand slip down to your waist, barely grazing your light blue dress as his lips sit dangerously close to your jawline. 

   You don’t have to be scared of me. Relax. This is your safe haven. The words simmer in your mind as your heartbeat races in your blood. The only thing you should fear is time itself.

   “The only thing you should fear is time?” you repeat, the words leaving your lips as you feel his calloused fingers trace a flyaway hair behind your ear, tucking it back neatly as he lines his soft lips up to your earlobe and whispers. 

   “Time, darlin’. You can’t escape it, can’t run from it. But you can run with the madness, let your mind unwind just a little as you slip away into wonder. Let me show you the way,” he coaxes, a sweet melody that enchants your very soul, pulling you toward him, away from all the noise of the outside world, away from normalcy. 

   You feel him slip from your grasp as you open your eyes up and turn slowly in his direction, seeking his soft brown eyes and deft fingers again. He smirks over at you, a mischievous grin as he nods his head and holds out his hand. 

   “Follow me through Wonderland, sweetheart. Let me show you exactly what I’m talking about.”

   You look at his outstretched hand and look back behind you, back to the way you came in. No going back. This is your chance. Take a leap of faith. Follow him through Wonderland. 

   You turn once more and see him nod his head, a gentle smile curling up against the sides of his mouth as his warm eyes wade into yours. It’s like you hear his calming drawl as you look at his outstretched hand, calloused fingers reaching your way, convincing you to take it. 

   Follow me through Wonderland. Let me show you. 

   You lift your hand, curling your fingers as you think twice about it. His soft brown eyes relax, the crow’s feet pulling at the edges of his tanned skin as his crinkled eyes tell you it’s okay. You can take his hand. 

   “C’mon, sweetheart. You can trust me,” he says softly, his large palm reaching out a little more, coaxing you to take it. 

   It’s like you hear the swaying whispers of the wild flowers in the fields, their small trills of voices as they carry through the wind. Take his hand. He’s safe. He’s been waiting so long for you. Let him take you to Wonderland.

    You feel it inside your chest, the building breaths and  aching longing that leads you to him. Just one more glance at those brown flecks of warmth and that’s all it takes to convince you.

    You reach your hand out and press it slowly into his palm, letting his calloused fingers lace through yours as you gasp at the warmth that simmers there. Safe, he’s safe. 

    He leads you forward through the thick trees, passing peculiar species of birds and plants you’ve never seen before. All shades of the rainbow laid out like a colorful map for you to take in. As you look around in awe, Joel turns his head back and smiles at you. A warm, gentle smile that makes your insides melt with affection. 

   He continues leading you through this beautiful, strange world. Further, further, further until you’re almost to the end of the pink road, following Joel as he takes the lead. 

His hand presses into yours more, calloused fingers brushing over yours as comfort embeds your entire skin.    

   Familiar, he seems so familiar like you’ve been here before, like you’ve held his hand before, like you’ve known him for so long. And it’s strange, such a strange feeling that encompasses your whole being. 

   You reach the end of the path and then end up in a wide open space that looks like an enchanted forest. Rows of colorful tulips, marigolds, and lillies cover the area. Green hills in the far distance tower high in the sky, lush grass covers the ground, and a running river crashes lightly to the left of a cobblestone path.

   As you walk through the path of vivid flowers, you swear you hear them whispering, calling your name as your bare legs brush past them. And it sounds like they’re talking about you. 

   Joel chuckles quietly in front of you as he shakes his head, ruffling his tousled curls as he turns and looks back at you. 

   “Did I hear the flowers whisper my name? Or am I hearing things?” you ask as he looks at you with sun kissed lips and brown flecked eyes.

   “They uh… they were definitely talkin’ ‘bout ya. Don’t mind them. They like to gossip to each other,” he laughs, the infectious sound flowing through your ears as you can’t help but smile shyly back up at him. 

   He really is handsome. 

   “What are they saying?” you ask as he continues to lead you through the glowing sunshine of the glittering forest. 

   “They think you’re pretty,” he blushes as if he’s hiding something else, but you don’t push for more answers. 

   “Pretty, huh? That’s what they think?”

   “Mhm. Beautiful…” he whispers under his breath, making your cheeks blush crimson as you fight a growing smile on your glossy lips. 

   As you continue walking through patches of soft grass, past more whispering tulip fields, you can’t help but wonder if this is all a trick of the eye. Everything is so beautiful, so surreal like that it’s hard to wrap your head around this place. 

   Joel looks back your way and squeezes your hand, assessing your wandering gaze as you watch a bright blue butterfly land on Joel’s shoulder, the butterfly seeming to stare up at him as Joel smiles down and nods. “Hello, Absolem.”

   “Absolem?” you ask as the butterfly turns your way and crawls on the back of your hand, looking up at you as if he’s trying to talk to you. No words come out of his mouth, but you swear you see a tiny speck of a smile on his lips as he flies away and leaves you standing there watching in awe. 

   “Absolem,” Joel confirms. 

   “You talk to butterflies in your spare time?” you laugh as you casually tease him. He squeezes his hand around you and shakes his head. 

   “We’re in Wonderland, remember? You can pretty much talk to anything, even the trees. They’ll eventually answer you.”

   “Strange, this is so strange.”

   “Just wait till you see the mad tea party up ahead,” he responds as he pulls you deeper into a shaded area covered by big, purple leaves that fill the trees. 

   “Mad tea party?” you ask with a raised brow. 

   “You’ll see,” he smirks as he pulls you along. 

   You walk around a big, shaded tree and come to stand a few feet from a long, narrow table that has tall wooden chairs surrounding it. A lacy white table cloth hangs low over the edges as various icing topped cakes, intricate tea pots, fine china, and pastries litter the table in a heap.  

   You gasp as you see a mangy rabbit with discombobulated ears yelling about unbirthdays and tea sitting about the table. The white rabbit sits on the opposite side assessing his golden watch while arguing with the other rabbit, and the Cheshire Cat floats above the table as he curls his striped tail around his neck. But what wracks your brain a little is the tall, peculiar man that sits at the head of the table. 

   He has a large green top hat with a decorative pink ribbon around the rim of the hat. His clothes are odd. A red velvet jacket sits atop a purple frilly shirt with a large multicolored bow around his neck. His pants sit pressed against his legs as stripes fill the cotton material. 

   When he looks up, a large white smile fills his face as bright red hair sticks out underneath his top hat and flashy green eyes stare wildly your way. He drops his cup of tea and sprints over to you in a hurry, wide eyes staring your way in shock. 

   “It’s you! You finally found your way,” he says out of breath, voice elated with excitement as he looks over at Joel. “Joel, you found her. You brought her back!” he shouts as he jumps up and down in a crazed manner. 

   “Brought me back?” you ask confused. But you haven’t been here before. Have you?

   “She found Wonderland herself, hatter. I didn’t bring her here. She found it on her own.” He looks over at you, and you swear you see pride in his eyes, a fondness that could only be explained by looking into his eyes. 

   Safe. He’s safe. 

   “Darlin’, this is the mad hatter.” 

   The mad hatter takes your hand as he says your name and bows his head as he tips his oversized hat to you, making you feel like you belong here. Like you’re not a stranger to this world. 

   “Nice to meet you,” you say as you give him a courteous greeting. 

   He smiles up at you with a big Cheshire grin and asks you the most curious question you’ve ever heard before. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” he asks with big green eyes as he leans forward with his hands clapping together in anticipation. 

   “Umm I’m not sure…” you say quizzically, eyebrows knit together as Joel just shakes his head. 

   “Hatter, she doesn’t have time for questions like that. Let her be. Her and Joel have places to go,” the white rabbit says as he holds up his ticking watch, the other rabbit just pointing and laughing at nothing in particular. 

   “Oh, right. Well you must come back for tea! We can celebrate your unbirthday and have lots of tea and cake,” he shouts loudly as he bows and skips back over to the table, joining the madness of the tea party again. 

   “Go on now,” the Cheshire Cat says as he waves you off with the flick of his purple paw. “Have fun with Joel.” He smiles a wide, bright smile at you as it curls into a devious smirk, pure trouble behind those blinding green eyes. 

   Joel chuckles under his breath and shakes his head. “C’mon, darlin’. Got a lot more to show you.” He grabs your wrist and pulls you the opposite way of the tea party as you hear the faint shouts and laughs from the ridiculousness of it all. 

   As you walk through a trail of wispy willows and white rose bushes, you ask him another question as you follow his lead. “You live here? In Wonderland?”

   “Mhm. Got a house right up that winding path.” He points to a cobblestone path that leads into a valley of tall, green trees that overlook the side of a flowing waterfall. 

   “It’s just you?” you ask, eyes fixed on the large veins in his neck as he purses his lips together and nods his head.

   “Jus’ me, darlin’.”

   “It must get lonely here. By yourself, I mean,” you say as you nip at your bottom lip, hoping you’re not overstretching your questions. 

   “It can be, I suppose.” At those words, his thick fingers wrap tighter around your wrist, almost as if he’s latching on to you, hoping you won’t leave too soon. You can almost hear the wallowing of his words as if he speaks them out loud to you. 

   Don't go away. Stay here with me. 

   You continue walking, the green grass catching on your shoes as you come across a large, glistening pond. Massive green lily pads with pink flowers that sit atop them wade in the water as they float gently in the breeze. Joel nods his head and takes a step forward, but you take a step back, fear coursing through you. 

   “You want me to cross that?” you ask all wide-eyed and mouth falling open as you see no other way across. “Wouldn’t the lily pads just sink?”

   “They’re solid, made for crossing by foot. It’s alright. I do it all the time.”

   He holds his hand out, his large palm facing up as he nods for you to take it. You weigh your options carefully. Either turn back to the mad tea party or take your chances here with Joel. You know which one you want to choose. 

   His brown eyes become warmer, golden flecks dancing in his irises as he spreads his fingers wider, taking a step in your direction as he asks you once more to put a little faith in him. 

   “C’mon, sweetheart. You trust me?” he asks as his eyebrows knit together in a tight line, his eyes searching yours as he waits for an answer. There’s that look again, the one you saw back at the entrance from where you came. You hear the words so carefully. 

   You can trust me. 

   “Yes,” you breathe, putting your hand in his as a smile curls up on his lips that forms a dimple against his cheek. 

   He’s so fucking handsome. 

   “Well, c’mon then, sweetheart. This way,” he responds as he carefully leads you across the floating lily pads. 

   Glowing coy fish glide under the water as sparkling dragonflies hover over the surface of the crystal clear water and dance around the green lily pads. The smell of spring and rose bushes fill the air as the glowing sun warms your soft skin. This place is so magical. 

   When you finally cross over to the other side of the pond, Joel leads you over to a sea of giant mushrooms. Pastel pinks, dark blues, violet purples, and shades of ember reds fill the area. And they look so soft to the touch, like velvet beds you can crawl up and take a cat nap on. 

   Joel turns you around, his eyes softening as those flecks of warmth sink deep into yours. He stands so close to you, so close that you can smell the pine wood and mahogany scent that drip off his very being. You want to inhale that scent, drown in it as it coats your insides, bottle it up so you remember exactly what he smells like. 

   And then he smiles. That deep, warm smile that seems to pull everything into place. It’s so warm, so calming, so soothing. You’ve seen it before, you know you have. But where? When? You don’t even know. All you know is you have seen him before. You must have. 

   You gulp and twist your fingers nervously through your skirt that blows gently in the wind, your lips parting open as you find your words. “Why do I feel like this isn’t the first time I’ve met you? I feel… I feel like I’ve known you for so long,” you murmur out carefully as your gears grind together in your brain. 

   He chuckles, a deep, sated sound that seems to fill your body up with a splash of warmth. “You think you’ve been here before?” he asks curiously, eyebrows raising as he places all his attention on you. 

   “I don’t… I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered this place. I would’ve remembered you,” you stammer out, your brain cells firing off as you try to remember. 

   Remember, remember, remember. But you can’t. You can’t. 

   Your brain starts to go foggy, all memories of this place nonexistent. If you’ve never been here before then why do you feel this way about Joel? Why is he clouding your entire mind with his warm eyes and gentle smile? 

   “Why do you think you’re here, darlin’? Why do you think you opened up that locked door to Wonderland?” he asks with a tilted head, eyebrows knitting together as he concentrates solely on you. 

   You gulp as his intense stare lingers on you. Your fingers grip the hem of your dress as you stutter out nonsense. “I… ummm I don’t know…”

   “No?” he asks as he crooks his head, a hand sitting deep in the pocket of his jeans as his eyebrows mold together in a tight line. “I think you do, sweetheart.”

   You take another breath as you blow it out through your mouth, letting it fall through the wind as you swallow back nerves. “You seem to know, Joel. So tell me. Tell me why I’m here.”

   He smirks before he starts to move forward, his broad form coming closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of you. Joel circles you slowly, calloused fingers trailing up your bare arms as he slides behind your tense shoulders. He drags his index finger along your collarbone gently, making you squeak as nerves pull through the pit of your stomach.

   “This is why you came here, remember? To let go, to lose yourself in this fantasy,” he purrs as his lips slide against the shell of your ear, breathing hot air down your neck as your body seems to still against the lull of his deep voice.

   His thick fingers trace your jawline, your chin, your neck as he courses down to the strap of your delicate sky blue dress and lingers there, slowly hooking a finger under as he whispers seductively into your ear, “So let go.”

   Your breath hitches as his sloped nose brushes against yours, his lips hanging inches above yours as you stare at them. Big, plush, enticing lips. Soft. They look so soft, like they’d fit perfectly over yours. 

   His forehead drops down to yours as you breathe him in deep. Pine trees, wood, sunlight, ecstasy. It’s all you smell, all you feel as his calloused fingers brush over your jawline, lingering under your chin as he brings your face up, up, up. Just enough to be able to brush his lips against yours as you feel hot warmth flood through your insides. Anticipation builds as you nearly moan his name out, your lips parting slightly as you gaze into his warm, starry eyes. And in that moment you want him, badly. 

   “Is this what you want, sweetheart? Wanna let go and lose yourself in me?” he blows over your lips, his fingers brushing a curl behind your ear as they tease your jawline, making you arch up more as your fingers dig into the soft material of his flannel. “Say yes, let me show you how to let go,” he coaxes. 

   Without thinking, you let your body take control as you slur the words out effortlessly. “Yes, show me. Show me how to let go,” you whisper. 

   He wastes no time and crashes into your lips, his large hands cupping your face as he presses deeper against your mouth. Soft. His lips are so fucking soft as they ravish yours deftly. 

   You part your lips for him, letting him slot his tongue inside your mouth as he glides the tip of it against yours. He dances around your mouth, meticulous circles as you breathe him in, tasting the honeysuckle flavor of his large tongue. You run your fingers through his tousled curls and feel the moan that catches in his mouth, making you burn like wildfire against the sound. 

   He starts pushing you back and you walk backwards and feel yourself stop as something hits the back of your thighs. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t stop as he takes and takes and takes. Continuing to twist his savory tongue around your mouth. 

   After a few more seconds of intense kissing and fingers twisting in hair, he breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against yours as his large hands run down your sides, landing on your hips as he starts to hike your dress slowly up. Your breathing is ragged, desperate as you want more. 

   Give me more, please.

   It’s like he senses your need as he asks, “You gonna let go for me, sweetheart? Let me give you what you need?”

   “Yes, yes,” you whisper rapidly as you hear him chuckle under his breath. 

   “Good, let me take care of you, baby. Sit back for me.”

   He pushes you back further as you land sitting on top of a dark blue mushroom. It’s big, soft, almost velvety as you lay your palms flat against it. It almost feels like a bed made of feathers. How strange. He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently shoves you back until you’re laying flat against the mushroom, the softness of it all taking over as your heart pounds in your chest. 

   You look up and see him stalking toward you like a starved dog, his smirk widening as his eyes darken and hound you. When he reaches the edge of the mushroom, he grabs your legs and slides you forward as you hear a small yelp escape your vocal cords. 

   “What are you… what are you doing?” you ask nervously as he slowly starts to part your legs while dragging his thick fingers up and down your thighs languidly. 

   “What’s it look like I’m doin’, hmm?” he asks, smirking as he cocks an eyebrow up and digs his nail beds into your flesh, making a coat of slick fall against your now sticky panties. 

   He moves up, up, up until he’s hovering over your clothed folds, brushing ever so gently against the damp material. Oh, fuck. He teases the waistband of the material and skims over the soft skin underneath, making you bite your bottom lip as you practically beg him with your needy eyes to keep going. 

   “You want me to keep goin’, baby? You gotta tell me what you want. Use your words, c’mon.”

   “I… yes, I…” you stutter out, unable to say anything else as he barely slides the waistband down, just enough to where you feel the gentle breeze blow against your nearly exposed pussy. 

   Oh, fuck. 

   “You want me to make you feel good? Want me to take all that stress and pent up energy away?” he asks as his eyes start to pulse into dark pits. “Hmm?” he hums as he brushes the heel of his palm into your dripping center, making you jump at the jolt of electricity. 

   “Please. Fuck, Joel. Please,” you beg as he hikes your light blue skirt over your hips and presses his thumb into your clothed folds that are already soaking for him. 

   “Goddamn, darlin’. Already so fuckin’ wet for me,” he hisses as he slips his thumb inside the lace material and brushes his thumb against your soft folds. 

   He groans as he feels just how wet you are for him. “You have no idea how good I’m gonna make you feel, baby. Just lay back and let me take care of this pretty pussy,” he smirks. 

   He grabs the edges of the material and slides them fluidly down your legs as he throws them to the ground. He stands back and rakes his hand painfully through his scruff as he knits his eyebrows together and groans at the sight of you. 

   “Goddamn it, you’re so pretty, baby. Fuck,” he groans as he pushes your knees apart and stares at your pulsing core, a look of pure pain crossing his tan face. 

   He falls to his knees on the bed of grass as he slowly starts to trail kisses up your legs. He starts at your ankle, slowly working his way up the side of your knee, then pressing sweet kisses to the inside of your thighs as he works you up nice and slow. 

   He slowly blows a wave of air across your exposed center and lavishly runs his hands up and down your thighs as you feel more slick start to form between your thighs. 

   “Oh, baby. Fuckin’ drippin’ for me. You look so sweet, just wanna eat you up,” he groans as he places a tender kiss into the crease of your thigh and then slowly, slowly reaches your center, right where you want him. 

   “Oh,” you breathe out, forgetting how to take even breaths as your body starts to shake. 

   “Eyes on me, darlin’. Want you to watch,” he purrs, his eyes dark pits as he hooks his meaty hands around your thighs and smirks up at you. “Eyes. On. Me.”

   He slowly licks a thick stripe from your dripping hole and glides it up against your soft folds as he repeats the action two more times. You let out a breathy moan as his tongue makes all your nerve endings come alive. Wildfire burning through your body, begging him to give you more. 

   “Joel,” you moan as he teases the tops of your folds with his large tongue, smirking as his drool runs down your pussy. 

   “You taste so fuckin’ sweet, darlin’,” he coos out. “Just hang on.”    

   He lifts his mouth and slowly lets saliva that’s pooling in his mouth drip over your throbbing pussy, letting the warm sensation cover you in bliss. He breathes in deep and then spits on you as he meticulously rubs the fluid around and around and around, rubbing his thumb in tight circles around your aching clit. 

   You writhe against him and part your lips open, knitting your eyebrows together as the sensation makes your head feel dizzy and light. You choke on another moan as he stares deeply into your eyes as he circles and circles and circles. Rubbing just the right areas as more slick drips down his calloused fingers. 

   “Joel,” you whine as his calloused thumb presses deeper against your clit. 

   “That’s right, baby. I’ve got you. Hang on, sweetheart. Not gonna stop till I have you coming on my tongue,” he growls.”

   He plunges his soft lips down on you as he parts your folds with his fingers and laps soft circles against your puffy clit. You moan as he devours you and tilt your head back in pure bliss as you stare up at the fluffy cotton candy clouds. 

   You flutter your eyelashes as you tilt your head to look down at him, his blown out pupils staring up at you wide-eyed as he feasts on you nice and slow. He pulls your throbbing bundle of nerves into his warm mouth, and it takes everything in you to keep from coming in that instant. 

   He slips two fingers inside your dripping hole as he plunges deep inside you, curling his fingers up to hit that spot that makes you see stars in your blurry vision. You twist your fingers into his tousled curls as he moans against you, pulling your clit back into his mouth as he sucks you down, down, down. 

   You hear the squelching noises of his fingers plunging in and out of you, feel the pressure building in your spine as he licks and sucks your glistening clit. You feel like you’re on cloud nine, feel as if it’s just you and Joel in this fantasy land, feel as if you could come undone at any moment as the wet noises seem to echo through the blowing breeze. 

   You feel your walls start to clench up as he quickens his pace of his fingers inside you, licking long stripes up your core as you moan out his name again and again and again. You’re so close, so close to spilling yourself all over him as you tighten your fingers through his curls and arch your back off the matte blue mushroom. 

   “C’mon, baby. Come for me. Let me see you let go,” he coaxes as he presses against your spongy walls and pulls your clit into his mouth as he sucks you deep. That’s what does it for you. 

   “Fuck, Joel. I… I’m coming,” you moan as you feel your walls clench up one more time and then release, white hot liquid spilling down as he laps you up nice and slow. 

   Your vision goes black as you tilt your head to the sky and let your body ease into a relaxed state as you come down from your orgasm. You feel your breath come in rapid waves as you fight for air to build back in your lungs, your core still on fire for Joel as he laps up all your slick in between your legs. 

   He stands tall as his large body leans over you, your legs straddling around him as he stands in between your thighs. Your slick glistens on his patchy scruff and mustache, and it makes you that much wetter as your eyes trail over his ravenous features. 

   “Did so good, baby. So good,” he praises as he brings one hand to caress your cheek affectionately, making you tingle all over at the fondness of the touch. 

   “That was… that was incredible,” you gasp out as he smirks down at you, the warm flecks of his eyes shining down on you like a golden ray of sunshine. 

   Warm. He’s so warm. 

   “Glad I could indulge in your fantasies,” he chuckles as he brings his hand back down your side, his fingers tracing delicately down your hip as he makes his way over your thigh, slowly trailing up and down in slow motions. 

   “You’re gonna give me another one,” he smirks, his pupils expanding into black pits as he brushes against your sensitive folds.

   “Another one? But I’m so sensitive, Joel. I don’t know if I can…” you whine, panting between breaths as you think about him giving you another mind blowing orgasm. 

   “Oh, trust me. You can and you will,” he growls between his teeth as he starts to move his fingers up and down your folds again, starting a fire down in the pits of your core. “Tell me yes, sweetheart. Tell me it’s okay.”

   Your mind fogs over as you nod your head and whisper out, “Okay. Okay.”

   “You trust me?” he asks with a cocked brow, his fingers slowly gliding up and down your center, already building slick against his thick fingers. 

   “I trust you,” you nod, biting your lip as you hold back a moan. 

   “Yeah ya do,” he smirks. “Don’t hold back now, baby. Wanna hear those loud moans.”

   He presses his calloused fingers deeper against your center, spreading your folds as he starts to circle his slick coated fingers against your puffy clit. He spits down again on your pussy and gathers the spit on his fingers, making you more soaked as you hear the sticky, wet sounds of thick fingers against drenched skin. 

   He hovers over you, leaning against his arm as he stares intensely down at you with those big black pits of his. Your mouth drops open as he flicks against your clit faster, faster, faster until your eyes start to roll back as you feel the blood rushing between your legs. 

   “That’s a good girl,” he praises as you moan at the sweet words, nearly blacking out as the intense sensations wash over your entire body. You grab onto his flannel shirt as you fight for your life, your second orgasm so close to breaking that you feel like you’re about to lose control. 

   “C’mon, give it to me. Let me see you come again, baby,” he coos as he presses down harder onto your throbbing clit, his hand moving side to side faster and faster as you feel your back arch off the velvet mushroom. 

   It all happens so fast. You let the vibrations buzz through your body, starting at your head that slips slowly down your body as you curl your toes and roll your eyes back. You feel the hot heat start to slide out of you as you release for him, more come pouring out than last time as you feel the ecstasy encase your entire body. 

   “Oh, that’s a good fuckin’ girl. Goddamn,” he moans as he slows his fingers to gentle strokes and makes sure he works you through your orgasm entirely. 

   You lay there with half hooded eyes, your fingers still curled around his flannel as you slowly release and drop them down next to you. You feel satiated, satisfied, but yet you still want more. 

   When he starts to back away, you grab his wrist and prevent him from moving out of your range. “Wait, Joel. I need… want more,” you gasp out, your breath winded and tired as you fight to stay completely in one piece. 

   He knits his eyebrows together and turns your head to face him, his large fingers cupping your chin as he stares down at you with intense eyes. “You want more?” he asks softly. 

   “Yes, yes,” you whine out, almost embarrassed by how needy you sound. 

   He chuckles and shakes his head back and forth. “Think you can handle it, sweetheart? Not too tired?” he asks with a sly smirk as the crow’s feet pull at the corners of his eyes. 

   He’s so fucking perfect. 

   “Mm-mm,” you shake your head, your hand reaching for his flannel as he lets you grasp on to him. 

   “Alright, but you asked for it, darlin’. Gonna give ya what you need,” he smirks as he slowly unbuckles his leather belt, unzipping the zipper of his denim jeans as he slides them and his black briefs down, letting his leaking cock press against his soft tummy. 

   You gasp at how massive he is, the precum spilling over as you wonder what it tastes like, what it feels like inside you.

   He crawls on top of your body, crowding your space as you feel overwhelmed by the smell of his woodsy, pine scent. It intoxicates you, drives you mad as you fist at his flannel shirt, desperate to get him as close as humanly possible without completely jumping into your skin. 

   “Joel,” you whine, pawing at the flannel material as you beg him to take you. 

   He cups your chin in his large palm and looks you deep in the eyes. “Relax, sweetheart. Let me give you what you need,” he coos. 

   He lines up with your entrance as he teases you, sliding the tip of his cock up and down your folds as he collects your slick and his spit, already starting a fire in your core as he brushes past your sensitive clit. 

   “Fuck,” you hiss as his teasing torments you. 

   “Mmm, that’s right, gorgeous. Gonna take ya now, gonna make all your worries disappear,” he whispers as he hooks your legs over his shoulders and slides his slippery cock inside you. 

   Your mind goes numb, your brain stilling as the air seems to shift colorfully around you. It’s like the clouds turn pink, misty blue as colors swirl around your vision, making it look like you’re inside a make believe dream. Ecstasy, blinding pleasure erupts through your body every time he ruts up deeper inside you. His cock thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, so deep that it hits that spot that has your ears ringing with white noise. 

   He gives, gives, gives himself to you, making you cry out with blissful moans as he bends your knees to your chest and fucks into you deeper, harder than before. The sensation builds, your third orgasm right on the edge every time he gives more of himself to you, ravaging you until you can barely take it anymore. 

   “You’re so fucking beautiful moaning my name, sweetheart. Squeezin’ me so tight,” he breathes out raggedly as sweat builds against his forehead, making his curls stick together as he breaks the distance and crashes his lips down on top of yours. 

   The kiss is hungry, needy, starving as your tongue collides with his; his hips rocking back and forth between yours. You taste yourself on him, let the salty, sweet flavor run down your glossy lips as your moans twist together in unison. A sweet melody that fills the air as you get lost in each other’s ecstasy. 

   He bottoms out in you, thrusting faster and faster until you’re on the verge of tears. You’re so sensitive, your body on the edge of spilling again as you hear the slick slap of skin on skin through the air. 

   “Joel, I’m gonna… I’m about to…” you cry out as a tear licks at the corner of your eye. You’re not going to last any longer. 

   “Come for me, baby. Let me feel you,” he coaxes against your lips, his forehead leaning on yours as he speeds up his thrusts. He hits your spongy spot one more time, and that has you clawing the back of his neck as your hands tangle in the hair at the scruff of his neck. 

   You clench up around his thick cock and then spill all over him, milky hot come leaking down your thighs as he groans against your lips as you echo a low moan back to him. 

   “Fuck, that’s a good girl,” he praises as he thrusts deeper, deeper, deeper until he’s bottom out time and time again. You’re on cloud nine as you feel his cock drive into you, feel your body go numb against his hold on you as you feel him start to lose control. 

   “Gonna-fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna-” His mouth drops open and his eyebrows furrow together as he moans out your name, thick ropes of come painting your insides as your eyes roll back at the warm sensation. 

   He ruts up once more in you, spilling his entire seed as you both breathe in foggy, dense air. Arousal and the smell of sex envelop the wind, blowing down your body as you smell nothing but you and him mixing together to paint the skies red. He takes a minute of just keeping his cock inside you as he runs a hand down your cheek affectionately, warm eyes sinking into yours as his lips curl into the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. 

   “Did so good for me, my girl. So good,” he praises as he cups your cheek and plants a gentle kiss across your lips. You drink him down, wanting to remember how he tastes like honeysuckle and sugar cookies. He tastes like something you want to imprint in your memory. 

   When he releases, he slowly slides out of you. You moan at the loss of him, but he scoops you up in his arms when he lays flat on his back. He feels warm, secure, safe. He feels like someplace you want to stay forever. Your eyelids start to flutter closed, your body unable to stay awake any longer. You’re so tired, so worn out from the sex. You just need to rest a little, let your mind enter into the thick fog. 

   “Joel, I’m so tired,” you slur as your words start mixing together, your eyelids growing heavy against your eyes.

   “Go to sleep, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” he hums out, his strong arms pulling you closer into his chest as you let your mind fade into the darkness. Your vision goes black as you fall asleep instantly, knowing you’re safe in Joel’s arms. 

-

   When you start to wake up from your nap, you smell the scent of fresh roses lingering in the air and hear the sounds of cheerful birds chirping in the distance. As you start to shift your body and start to flutter your eyes open, you feel movement underneath you. You feel the broad chest underneath you as he slowly breathes in and out, feeling how warm he is with your fingers tangled in his soft flannel. 

   When your eyes finally open, he smiles up as you as his fingers rake down your scalp. “There you are, darlin’. Was starting to wonder when you’d wake up. You were out for a couple hours,” he says with a deep, sleepy edge to his voice. He must’ve fallen asleep at some point, too. 

   You hum out against his chest, your chin laying on his chest as you look up at his warm eyes, those eyes that make you melt with longing. “You just wore me out so much that I couldn’t stay awake any longer. You really know how to get a girl to fall asleep, huh?” you ask with a smile widening on your face. 

   He laughs and hugs you tighter to him. “Just givin’ ya what you needed, sweetheart. Happy to oblige anytime,” he smirks as you laugh again and shake your head. 

   You relax against his body as his hand runs gently up and down your scalp, sending you into a trance-like state as you rest your hands under your chin and stare up at him. His eyes are so warm, the smile that’s curled at the corners of his mouth sending sparks down your body. He feels so familiar, like you’ve known him for much longer than a day. 

   Your eyebrows knit together as you study his features, tracing the lines on his forehead with your eyes as you look deep into those golden brown irises. And something like a flash of lightning hits your mind, a distant memory flashing before your eyes as you go wide-eyed. You do know him. You’ve seen him before. You’ve been here before. 

   “You… this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you before, is it?” you whisper as your throat runs dry. “I’ve been here before, haven’t I?” You know him. You know him. 

   He sighs, a held in breath leaving his lips as he smiles affectionately at you. “Yes. You’ve been here before, sweetheart. This isn’t the first time.” It’s like all the weight is emptied from his body as his face relaxes and his chest feels less tense now. 

   “I knew you all along…” you whisper out incredulously. 

   “You did, baby. Welcome back. Didn’t know if you’d ever find your way again,” he says sadly as his eye color changes to a somber brown. 

   “But how did I… how did I even get here?” 

   “You were drowning, sweetheart. You needed an escape. You unlocked the door. You found us again. We’ve been waiting so long, so very long,” he whispers as he hooks a loose curl behind your ear, his eyes slipping into yours as he rests his forehead on yours, a form of intimacy that feels like home. He feels like home. 

   You lay there breathing each other’s air like oxygen, your lips tangling against each other as you lap up his honeysuckle taste, burning the taste into your memory as if it’s the most important thing in the world. 

   After a few minutes of getting lost in each other, he helps you up as you stand firm against the lush green grass. He helps you slide the lace panties back into place, covering your sticky center as you fall back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his broad back. 

   You hear a faint buzzing a few feet away from you, the sound like white noise in your ears. When you turn, you see an open doorway as painted red roses spill over the dark entryway. Your eyebrows crease together as you look at it carefully. It’s calling to you, almost like it wants you to follow. 

   Joel sighs, a defeated sound rasping from his throat as he looks at you with sad eyes. “Think it’s time for you to go back, sweetheart,” he huffs, his calloused fingers twisting around yours as he holds you close. 

   “Go back? But I just got here,” you say with wide eyes, feeling your stomach drop as you take in the meaning of his words. 

   “I know, darlin’, I know.” His face contorts with agony, his eyes on the verge of falling apart, but he puts himself back together as he cups your chin. “You’re needed back at the party. They’re waiting for you,” he says as you hear the distant noise of champagne glasses and classic music floating through the air. The party, it was still happening?

   “But I’ve been here for hours, how is it still going on?” you ask with your nose scrunched up in question. 

   “Time is different here, it moves slower, much slower than the outside world,” he says as his honey eyes flick to the open door. “Wonderland moves on its own time. Funny thing isn’t it? How time works.”

   “Yeah, very strange,” you say with your words drifting off as you stare at the door. The door that’ll take you back to reality, to a place you don’t want to go back to. 

   He sees your distant glance and pulls your face back to him as he looks distinctly into your glistening eyes. “You need to go back, baby. Go finish the party.” He’s telling you that you need to go, but his hollow words are drifting into the void. He doesn’t want you to go, not really. 

   “But what if I don’t want to go back…” you say quietly with a locked jaw, tears pricking at the backs of your eyes. 

   Let me stay. Please, let me stay. 

   “The door is open, sweetheart. It won’t close again till you go through,” he says with a pained expression, his calloused fingers burning your skin as he glides his fingers over your jawline delicately. 

   You nod your head slowly, telling him you understand. Your eyes wade into the painted door, but your eyes snap back up to his. “What if I want to come back? How do I come back?”

   He smiles down at you as he pulls a chain out of his back pocket, a glistening necklace shining brightly in the sun as he opens up your palm and closes your fingers over it. “With this. This is the key that opens Wonderland. It’s yours now. Anytime you want to come back, all you have to do is ask. Think of me, think of Wonderland and hold the key. The door will open for you. All you have to do is ask.”

   You open your palm and trace the edges of the golden key with your fingers, letting the cool metal stain your skin as you see the intricate letters carved into the gold. Wonderland is written in cursive letters on the side as they reflect against the sunlight. Wonderland. The key that’ll take you back to wildflowers, twisting paths, and Joel. 

   He takes the necklace from your open palm and unlatches it as he circles behind you and places the necklace against your chest. “Hair up for me, sweetheart,” he asks as you quickly oblige. You lift your hair and let him latch the necklace into place as the cool metal key sears into your skin. You lift the key and smile, your whole world now in your hands. 

   He steps in front of you and cups your chin, letting his thumb trace your bottom lip as his eyes sink deep into your own. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, for now,” you say sadly as you let your hand linger on his flannel, hoping you can stay like this forever instead of going back to your boring dinner party. 

   “Hey,” he says as he brings your face closer to his, leveling his eyes with yours, “this isn’t goodbye, sweetheart. Not even close.” He leans down and kisses you deeply as you latch onto his flannel, promising yourself that you’ll be back. This isn’t goodbye, it couldn’t be. 

   He releases your lips and walks you to the door. As you look in, you see the long, lit up hallway that you came from earlier. You can hear the music, hear the muffled voices down the hall as you see fluorescent lights from the ballroom. This was it, you had to go. 

   Before you step through, Joel grabs your wrist and turns you around to face him. “I had the most perfect day with you, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see those beautiful eyes of yours again,” he says with a curled smile on his lips. 

   “Yeah?” 

   “Yeah.”

   You run your fingers through his tousled curls and hold his gaze just a little longer, memorizing every single golden fleck in his irises as you take in his chocolate eyes. “Thank you for showing me Wonderland again. I can’t believe I forgot. How could I have forgotten you,” you say wide-eyed. You’d never forget him, how did you forget in the first place when he was your favorite thing in the entire world. 

   “Guess you got lost in the outside world. I’m so glad you found your way back to me, my love.”

   My love. The words crash into you like a colliding car crash, hitting your insides with those familiar words that sound like music to your ears. My love. 

   Before you can question his words, he kisses you gently on the forehead and shoves you through the door as it closes behind you. You end up back in the long hallway as the sound of faded music seeps down the corridor. When you turn back around, there’s no door, only the painted white wall that burns into your eyes. You sigh and turn back around. 

   When you turn, your breath hitches. In the center of the hanging mirror with gold coated around the winding edges, you see Joel staring back at you. Your eyes widen as you walk up to the clear mirror. He looks like he’s standing right there, as if you can reach him with your mind.

   You reach your arm up and place your palm flat against the glass, his hand mirroring yours as you wish with all your might you could just feel his calloused fingers again pressed against your skin. You can’t feel him through the mirror though, he’s only a reflection in the glass that you so want to slip into. 

   He gives you a small smile as nods his head in the direction of the party. You turn toward the end of the hall, your eyes flicking toward the crowded room as you hear laughs and loud voices carry down the corridor. When you look back to the mirror, you only see your reflection. Joel’s gone. You hold back a tear as you sigh out heavily and turn back around. You guess you have to go back in there. 

   When you turn from the mirror and start to head down the hall, you gasp as you see a small blue butterfly fluttering its wings on the back of your hand. You take a closer look and go wide-eyed. 

   “Absolem?” you ask. You see what looks to be a gleam in his eye as he suddenly flies off and disappears into a dark corner of the room. You smile, feeling your insides calm down a bit as a piece of Wonderland slips into the real world. It’s a sign, a promise that you will be back to Wonderland. 

   You head down the long hallway as your click of your heels echo down the corridor, keeping your wide grin stretched across your face. When you turn into the sea of jewel cladded necks and pressed suits, you can’t help but think of painted roses and honey brown eyes. And it’s then you know you can get through the rest of the evening because you went to Wonderland. Your escape, your dream, your sanctuary. 

   Wonderland. You’d be back, you just know it. 

   

When you walk back into your cozy apartment and shut the door, you flick on the dim lights and start to walk to your room. You play with the golden key that’s latched around your neck, tracing the smooth edges as your thumb glides across the word Wonderland. 

   Wonderland. God, you wish you could go back right now. You want to, you need to. 

   Suddenly, a thousand feelings crash into you all at once. It’s like you get struck by lightning, zapping your brain into a dense fog as if you suddenly wake up from a deep sleep. You remember, you remember it all. 

   You close your eyes and the vivid pictures paint your mind. You can see you and Joel back in Wonderland painting pictures by the pond, can see yourself tumbling in the wildflowers with him, can taste his sugar coated lips after he fed you a piece of cake, can smell the rose scented air as he told you he loved you that first time in a bed of white and crimson red roses. It wasn’t all a dream. It was real, he is real. 

   Joel, your love. How could you forget?

   When you open your eyes, you jump as you see exactly what you were pining for all evening. Joel. Joel’s leaning against your cream colored walls, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirks up at you with those honey glazed eyes that you can’t get enough of. 

   “Joel?” you breathe out, your voice cracking as you can’t believe he’s in your room at this very moment. 

   “Miss me already, darlin’?” he chuckles, his lips coated in warmth as the door to Wonderland stands wide open behind him, different shades of roses and flying butterflies leaking into your dimly lit bedroom. 

   “How are you here?” you ask amazed as your eyes go wide. 

   He’s here. He’s here. 

   “You were calling to me,” he says as he nods to your key hooked around your neck that your finger is still sliding against. “You haven’t even been gone a couple of hours, baby. You missed me that much?” he teases as his laugh fills the room. 

   “Yes.” You let the key fall back against your chest and run over to him, slamming your body against him as you wrap your arms around him. 

   “I remember, Joel. I remember it all,” you say out of breath as a tear falls down your cheek. “How could I forget. How could I fucking forget?” you ask wildly as another hot tear runs down your face. You feel his calloused thumb wipe the tears away as he lifts your face up to his. 

   “It’s alright, baby. It’s all okay now. You just got lost inside the chaos of the outside world. I’m so happy you made it back, my love. I’ve missed you so so much,” he coos as he pulls you into his chest and runs a hand soothingly up and down your back, calming the storm that swirled inside you just seconds ago. 

   “Take me home,” you beg as you run your fingers through the edge of his scruff, causing him to groan in response. 

   “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s go home.” He grabs your hand and pulls you through the wide open door, watching it close tightly behind you as it locks in place and disappears behind a bed of painted white roses. 

   Joel smiles and pulls you to his chest as he hooks his hands around your hips. “Sweetheart,” he coos as he gently cups the sides of your face and brings his forehead down against yours, “please tell me you’re never leaving again. Stay, stay with me. Stay in Wonderland where you belong. We’ve all missed you so much, but especially me. I’ve waited for your return for so long. I can’t bear to lose you again.”

   You smile up at him as you brush your lips over his, breathing in his honeysuckle taste as you nod your head slowly. “I’m never leaving again. Never ever. I’m staying here with the white rabbit, with the Cheshire Cat, with everyone. But most importantly I’m staying with you, my love.” You echo his words of my love back to him as he smiles down at you. 

   “Welcome home, my love. I’m never letting you go again.”

   He crashes his lips down to yours as you melt into his touch, his taste, his scent. You feel the warm air encase you as you get lost in him, in all of him. And you know now that this is where you belong. You belong in Wonderland with Joel. 

   And so you begin your lifetime full of adventures with the best way you know possible, getting lost in Joel, in your favorite Wonderland.   

Tags in case you want to read 🩷: @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @keylimebeag @blueseastorm @akah565 @r3dheadedwitch @laurrrra @burntheedges @msjarvis @dugiioh @pedrostories @vee-bees-blog @forgetmenotsexy @copiasghoulfriend @vividispunk @strawberri-blonde @thischarmingmandalorian @sawymredfox @reddedmiller @tuquoquebrute @joelalorian @ozarkthedog @casa-boiardi @morallyinept @kirsteng42 @amyispxnk

#joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel x female reader #joel the last of us #tlou fanfiction #joel tlou #joel miller pedro pascal #soft!joel miller #soft dom joel #soft joel miller #alice in wonderland #Alice in wonderland au #fantasy au #joel x f!reader #take me to wonderland #joel miller tlou #no outbreak!joel miller #no outbreak au #joel fluff #joel miller fluff #lots of fluff #pedrostories

[m1d-45]

i’ve reread duality of man so many times, it’s completely captured my brain and i’m literally obsessed with it….. i’m going insane (/pos) imagining how it would feel for childe to learn that he was wrong, he was wrong and if it weren’t for foul legacy, his god would be dead at his hands!! how horrible it would be to learn that the creator trusts foul legacy over him because of his own actions!! FUCK!!!

inversion of fate

a/n: you are so right. target audience. anon is referencing this post.

word count: 1.8k

-> warnings: childe, major spoilers for his lore, imposter au things, it/its pronouns for foul legacy because it’s childe’s perspective

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yum1x || @esthelily

< masterlist >

childe doesn’t really see foul legacy as much more than an extension of himself, an extra tool he utilizes in the heat of battle, so to be shown that this ‘tool’ was correct? that his bloodlust had blinded him to the one thing that matters??? OUGH

foul legacy’s emotions sort of bleed into his due to the nature of their bond, so he can feel the genuine love that legacy feels for you and it drives him mad. he can tell it’s being genuine, that the claws swiping a strand of hair from your face are only moved by care, and it’s so irritating to him. he has to just sit there and simmer in the adoration from legacy, and he can’t do anything while you’re being so lovingly cared for by a creature of the abyss, only sit in a body he no longer has control over.

when foul legacy finally urges you to stand, he thinks it’s over. he tracks your direction and hears through abyssal ears, following your movement. he’s ready to go the moment that legacy gives up control.

maybe that’s why the moment never comes.

foul legacy closes its eye, spinning quickly to a seemingly random direction. it navigates solely by its own invisible senses, one’s childe’s brain isn’t wired to receive and decode, and he’s stunned into silence.

why is it going through so much trouble to protect you? surely it knows that even if childe isn’t the one, you’ll be caught eventually, right? it has to know that it can’t control his body forever (can it?) and that eventually he’ll get his revenge. it has to.

childe tries to keep himself oriented as best he can, if only to point others in the right direction, but legacy kept stopping to spin and confuse him. it only opened its eye once the sounds of the harbor reached its ears, and even then, childe found himself near the southern end of the harbor, near where the path split to lead up to the golden house.

he’d found you somewhere near luhua pool. he couldn’t tell whether to be impressed or annoyed that legacy managed to get him here so quickly.

standing on shaking legs, childe stumbled into the harbor. maybe it would be wise to get an agent to walk with him: he was always exhausted after a transformation, and this one was more mentally taxing than most.

in the back of his mind, he swears he can hear a satisfied rumble from the devouring deep.

it was rare that childe received a letter.

folders were common, crossing his desk to report on missions he didn’t order and announce things he didn’t ask about. orders themselves were common enough, ‘letters’ of notice in neat packages, a small box with a map and a card denoting what was to be done. he was familiar with both, as all harbingers were, but an actual letter?

childe spotted the bright blue paper from the moment he stepped into his office, slowly closing the door behind him. as he rounded his desk, he saw the bright gold wax seal shimmered under the light, taunting him from the center of his desk. the room was eerily quiet, the creak from his chair bouncing off the walls and back at him. as he picked up the envelope, the textured paper sparking a memory, the seal suddenly felt a lot more daunting.

the seal of the fatui was also a familiar thing. it was stamped on papers and issued on uniforms, badges and reports embossed with the dark four-pointed star. he had a stamp of it himself, in one of his drawers, though he’d admittedly swapped the usual black ink for a blood red. all the harbingers tended to put their own spin onto their paperwork, usually for ease of filing or to show off. signora had the corners of the seal spiked into flames, licking across orange ink. dottore had his in a variety of shades of blue, wire forming the outer ring.

pantalone had the circles in the star changed to mora.

he flipped it over just to be sure, reading the shining golden scrawl, but the writing in the corner confirmed it was from pantalone, the characteristic cursive ‘regrator’ justifying the weight of the paper. he doubted there was much more than a single page inside; pantalone was always rather concise, even if a touch flowery in the way he did it.

with a sigh, childe turned the envelope back over and fit a nail under the wax, neatly separating it from the textured paper. he pulled the letter out and turned it to the side: only one page, though it felt like three.

a laugh slipped from him. it felt forced. in the back of his mind, foul legacy chittered.

‘shut up,’ he muttered, tossing the empty envelope on his desk.

‘you will not wish for my silence much longer.’

childe paused, a finger under the flap of the folded paper. ‘what does that mean?’

‘what do you think it does?’

he shook off the cryptic response—though it’s been months since he ran into you, it’s been in a mood ever since—and unfolded the letter, beginning to read.

he almost wished he didn’t.

there’s only two paragraphs on the page—succinct as always, he thought numbly—but the paper weighed as much as a mountain in his hands.

it was a letter updating him on the hunt for the imposter. a common source of news for him, who couldn’t personally take part in it due to his foul legacy, but this…

no matter how many times he rereads the cursive scrawl, it refuses to register. the expensive paper wrinkles around where his thumb is pressing into it, his grip tightening with every passing moment in an attempt to combat the shake beginning to set in. the same words glare at him, unchanging, shimmering off the page like an oasis of poison.

he feels legacy crawl out of the cave in his head that it has sealed itself in, finally coming forward into the light of reality that childe is washed in. the abyss stares, inspecting the harsh gleam of truth, the shine that pierces into childe’s eyes and makes them water, the one that doesn’t go away even if he closes them. legacy chitters, almost like a laugh, and the paper finally falls from childe’s hands.

‘we were wrong,’ the paper says.

you were wrong, his mind repeats.

legacy reads the paper, cooing sadly at the news that you’ve been missing ever since zhongli cornered you. you’d slipped away in his shock, and he could feel the way it wanted to chase after you. the barrier between their minds was always rather thin, and he can feel it press against it, the sadness and concern bleeding into him.

legacy pawed at his mind, urging him to let it take over and find you, and childe couldn’t even find humor in the fact that a creature of the abyss was whining at him.

it was his fault. his fault, his, if he had just listened to legacy and to the call in his own heart, if he had stopped and thought like he was told, if he had recognized the fact that legacy would never turn down a fight-

something like pride washed into his mind from legacy but it didn’t register, the overwhelming realization that he’d tried to kill his god driving all thoughts from his mind.

and he would have succeeded were if not for the abyss.

the abyss itself, the liquid poison that clung to his skin and made him dream of stars fallen from the sky, the small part of it that he had to permanently take on to survive, that had been more right than his own mind. the very place known for being bloodthirsty and ruthless, that never turned down a fight and was the first to draw blood, had been kind to you. he should have noticed.

he was wrong. how could he be?

his foul legacy chittered, an equal mix of taunting him and asking to find you.

‘give up,’ it cooed, a bitter edge of false affection around its words. ‘you’ve already done enough.’

he hated that it was right.

he hated that were it not for legacy he would have hurt you further. he hated that he had the gall to try and taunt you, you, the one he’d sworn to devote his life to after he escaped the abyss. you who gave him a form strong enough to handle the devouring deep, you who gave him the strength to stand up and keep on, and he repaid you by hunting you down, claws bared.

and he hated that he would never be able to find you on his own.

‘let me find my god.’

‘my god,’ he weakly replied, but bile quickly rose in his throat. were you? did he even have the privilege of calling himself your follower if the only words he spoke to you were threats? could he call himself faithful when he pressed on after the abyss itself cried for mercy?

‘are you the one they held close?’

childe was going to be sick.

he wasn’t, he wasn’t, he was so awful that you had to turn to the abyss for comfort, his hands were so stained that even the highest of the high recoiled, weapon drawn. you, his light, the one thing that he could always rely on, the sole constant in his life, and he turned his back on you when you needed it most. he had willingly thrown it all away, blindly following a fake that took advantage of his faith. even when all the signs asked him to stop—to think—he had pressed onward, so blinded that a creature of sea and stars could see what he could not.

‘let me find them.’

he stared at his desk, at the work he still had to do, at the letter proclaiming his failure, at the wide window to his left that spanned nearly the entire wall, more than large enough for even his foul legacy, and made a decision.

ajax gave up his body, bitter in the knowledge that the only time he could only see you would be through another’s eyes, and sick in the understanding that it was all his fault.

#i encourage you to laugh at the visual of foul legacy bouncing through liyue like a game of pong to throw of childe. go on. it’s funny. #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin #genshin impact #self aware genshin #sagau impostor au #childe angst #sagau foul legacy #sagau tartaglia #foul legacy x reader #sagau childe #gn reader #childe #tartaglia #tartaglia angst #genshin x gn reader #gender neutral reader #also hc childe keeps the seals from pantalone and whenever he sends a letter back he fills the envelope with the seals. #i just. think it would be really funny. also hey pantalone gets his wax back so yay recycling(?) every messenger thinks it’s odd though. #to be fair childes already a Strange Character so i doubt they’d think much of it. probably think he’s sending mora which is funny when you #consider the fact that pantalone is like. insanely rich. #it’s like mailing jeff bezos a letter with a fistful of crumpled 1 dollar bills inside #fun drinking game: take a shot every time i use the words ‘foul legacy’ to refer to both legacy himself and childe’s past / reputation #FUCK I FORGOT A TITLE AGAIN SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT #H O W DO I ALWAYS DO THIS FUCK #teddy anon #:)

[mmani-e]

I've finally finished my Danganronpa AU personal project! I personally call it

DANGANRONPA: DEMIX

And yeah, all the swaps as you can see above, and these guys in the middle are the replacements for Monokuma and Usami respectively:

Check out under the cut for some design insights on my take AND closer pictures of each pair:

Finally finished my personal AU project. I hope it's to everyone's liking!

I can go on forever about these designs but I'll limit myself to one-two sentences on some facts about the designs.

Mikan: Mikan's face tattoo was commissioned on her against her will so that she can never hide her nature as a Yakuza, but her leg tattoo was done on purpose, and she and Nagito have matching tattoos on their legs, his is just hidden most the time.

Nagito: He is usually seen with a spear and prefers the weapon over the sword, but he is more famous for his natural skill with the blade. That said, he resents the blade and wishes he could be recognized for the things he actually works hard to do, like throwing spears or protecting Mikan and her family.

Ibuki: I kept her design very similar to her base design because she pretty much just looks like a student, and I don't want to change anyone's personality so there's no reason for her to not get highlights. But I gave her some more symmetry in this design and gave her a cute little semi ahoge I guess with a hair tie, bc she doesn't naturally have one.

Imposter/Gamemaster: Yeah I made the big brain choice to keep him with his colors as "Byakuya" because it made for a more striking visual, and more recognizeable as the impostor. Also I made him too tall because I wanted to give him big legs lol.

Hiyoko: Her four cats are named Heart (scraggly cat), Mr. Pearls (sleepy cat), Big Red (Giant cat), and BB (black cat) bc canonically the four dark devas are named after shonen manga, I named her cats after pokemon games, which she canonically likes playing. Also chickens are her favorite animal, despite her love of cats.

Kazuichi: Kazuichi's not a natural born prince, through shenanigans it turns out he's extremely distantly related to some royal line in a microstate north of germany called "Nordsumpf." Their main exports are cars and Kazuichi is still new to being a prince.

"Kyoko": She'd try her best to act like Kyoko, but she's a little too meek and openy affectionate to pull it off properly. Also her knockers are way bigger than Kyoko's, so there's an immediate discrepancy to the trained eye.

Also in my au of DR1, Kyoko is the ultimate affluent progeny and Makoto is author/serial killer.

Hajime: His hair is actually extremely long back there, he just keeps it tied up. On shows he lets it all out and a wears red contacts, his stage name is "Izuru."

Sonia: Sonia became a team manager because she was escaping an assasination attempt, strolled into a junior laegue soccer game, took over for the coach and started just barking orders and the team won. They were the worst team in the whole league and after that she just sorta stuck around them and won them the championships.

Gundham: Gundham was orginally meant to wear the japanese flag… but there was too much white in his design so I cut it. He has names for all of his gymnast moves and he announces them very loudly when he does any of them.

Peko: I tried to give Peko a unique sort of "zombie survivor" kinda vibe so while she's clearly a mechanic first she can also just fucking kill you by braining you with that monkey wrench. Most of the time she's cool though, she's just like horribly dependent on other people to tell her what to do, so she attaches to Kazuichi because he's the most immediately available authority figure.

Fuyuhiko: He's got that sort of machismo that makes him not like to admit he loves dancing, but the moment he's complimented on it he'll really appreciate it. Also he's still part of a crime family, but it's just not as strong as Mikan's.

Akane: She really looks sporty still, but don't worry she's definitely "lucky," she's just much more focused on the future than her bad luck in the moment… which can be very bad, actually, and can make her come across as kind of aloof.

Nekomaru: Why is nurse Nekomaru not as common a thing. Just think about it, it's perfect. Nekomaru here got inspired by the bravery and hard work of the nurses that treated him and boom he became a nurse, nobody tougher than healthcare professionals after all.

Mahiru: Mahiru as a nurse is honestly a really really really fun concept but I feel like I wasn't very ambitious here, and I can't really show it through the drawing but one of my early drafts had her look more like a european chef a la gordon ramsey bc I headcanon her as a scot.

Teruteru: Decided to give him a raincoat which my sister pointed out to me could also be a trenchcoat, which is just PERFECT for a creep like him. It just writes itself man, though seriously he's mostly a landscape photographer who specializes in pics of the countryside. Still a huge perv tho.

Usowa: Name is a combo of Usagi and Chowa, the word for Harmony. She's less like a chaotic force of nature like Monokuma and more a manipulative and hardline teacher who coaxes the students into doing awful things by playing into their insecuritoies with motives, and which then causes them to kill, allowing her to punish them, "weeding out the weak and undisciplined among their ranks." She replaces Monokuma.

Kyojuma: Name is a combo of Kyoju (professor) and Kuma. He's a pretty silly guy with an easy temper to poke at, but he's good at heart and tries his best to be a more sort of "fun" teacher than the rules lawyer Usami kinda was. He just wants to help his students, too bad Usowa showed up and decidedly does NOT like his approach.

#danganronpa #talentswap au #talentswap #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa talentswap #fanart #hajime hinata #chiaki nanami #nagito komaeda #mikan tsumiki #hiyoko saionji #kazuichi soda #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #peko pekoyama #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #akane owari #nekomaru nidai #teruteru hanamura #mahiru koizumi #komamiki #soudaionji #twobuki #akanidai #fuyupeko #sondham #mani e. #danganronpa demix #monokuma #usami

[withered-blossoms]

(Withered-Blossoms) SAGAU Scheming Creator! Reader Imposter AU Part 5

A/N: First and foremost, this AU is by @sena-shi

I do not own this series, nor the idea.

Secondly, I absolutely love this series, it is amazingly written and I would highly recommend checking it out to those who haven't. Third, after reading part 4, I suddenly had a tiny bit of inspiration and I wanted to try writing my version of part 5 of it (this will not affect the original author in writing part 5 of the series, worry not).

Edit: The original author has given me her consent to write my version of this series, admittedly I should have dm'ed her beforehand, and I will never make this mistake again.

Also this is not proofread, so apologies for some typos/spelling mistakes. The word count is 3878 words or so Google Docs says.

Anyways, enjoy :DDDD

꧁༺Main Page | Angst Masterlist | Fluff Masterlist༻꧂

If every year of not being graced with your divine presence acts as a tiny blade that cuts a fibre of the impossibly thin thread known as Zhongli's sanity, then seeing you allowing these.....unworthy, mortal commoners to bask in the holy light you radiate would be the pair of scissors that snips the thread in half.

How dare they, when those foolish mortals are unable and consequently have not worshipped you for thousands of years, flit around you like the pesky flies they were? How dare they, not having devoted their entire being, their entire life, their existence's purpose to you, drink up your attention so hungrily? How dare they take the place that belonged, rightfully so, to him and only him when what they have done for you are nothing but specks of dust compared to the glorious acts he carried out in your name?

So why were you choosing to stay with them? When they have done nothing worthy of your grace? Why were you looking at him with a gaze that carried the heavy disappointment and disapproval that you never voiced? Zhongli does not understand, and neither do the adepti now standing beside him in a neat, uniform line, waiting for their archon's commands.

You find it amusing though. One would think that for someone who has lived for so long like Zhongli, he would be an expert at hiding his emotions and maintaining that mask of cool, indifferent politeness that he took pride in. And yet look at him now, losing that ability and reverting back to a child who knows not about keeping emotions from twisting their features into an ugly snarl.

Ganyu, on the other hand, looked pale and regretful. Under normal circumstances, should such a look appear on a face as pretty as Ganyu's, anyone else would have gone soft and thrown in the towel. But yet that sight filled your heart with this twisted sort of satisfaction. The desire for them to beg and grovel at your feet for forgiveness was thinly veiled behind a mask of betrayal and shock, and you were starting to find it hard not to let your eyes crinkle from the smirk threatening to curve your lips.

Not now, you reminded yourself, it's not the time for your facade to shatter.

And Xiao, your sweet, sweet child, who also happens to be the one responsible for the wound scabbed over on your leg. He, who was so persistent on making sure you were unable to escape, could not even look at your eyes now, amber orbs choosing to lock onto their targets instead. He couldn't bring himself to check your form, not when the chance of your bloody bandages catching his attention was so great.

After all, Rex Lapis needs his finely-honed weapon to carry out his commands now, and he couldn't break down in front of his divine creator. He's already shown such a horrifying part of him to you, one that slaughtered and knew nothing else, he would really go insane if you started fearing his more unsightly sides.

You would have applauded Morax and his little clique for the entertaining display of emotions had the boat not started to rock even more. It truly was a shame that they did not take up Sichuan Opera face-changing; they would have done so well even without the masks.

Meanwhile, Beidou was busy commanding the crew and making preparations for a possible tsunami, and Kazuha was ready to scoop you into his arms and bring you under deck. You, however, were not willing to miss this act, and thus stopped him by placing a hand over his. Temporarily ignoring how he froze up and blushed, you turned to the defenders of Liyue.

You could tell that the only reason why Zhongli kept up the intensity of the earthquake was because Xiao or the Cloud Retainer would immediately pluck you out of the ship before it was swallowed by the massive waves, but would you really just let yourself be taken to Liyue like this? Before even seeing the famed Inazuma? Of course not, after all you still had to see how Raiden Shogun, the one you personally raised alongside Zhongli, would react after seeing your face.

Choosing to let the winds carry your seemingly heartbroken words to their ears, you muttered, "Are you.....here to capture me? Is Liyue really unable to tolerate my existence?" And oh how much delight their flinches brought, especially the one coming from the ever-composed Geo Archon. Upon hearing your words, the group dropped to their knees, the seabed stilling as apologies and pleads spilled from their lips.

Beidou and her crew on the other hand though, you really got to give it to them. As if sensing your intentions to leave quickly, they took the chance to sail away as quickly as possible, with the winds guiding the ship. And of course, you were not going to let their efforts go to waste, choosing to keep the crazed adepti at bay with your sorrowful words.

"I've already given you my word to stay out of your sight, Morax. I apologise for breaking my promise to you, and if Liyue wishes so, I will disappear here and now. However, if you are still willing to listen to me, then I wish not for any harm to befall on these kind souls." You sighed, motioning to the Alcor's crew.

You weren't dumb; you could practically see the sparks forming from their clashing gazes. Beidou and Kazuha's were filled with hatred— disdain, even— and the adepti's a beautiful mix of hesitation and jealousy. What a wonderful sight it was, seeing the high and mighty adepti almost grovelling at your feet, and watching them struggle internally between their twisted desires and your commands.

The quirk of your lips was getting harder and harder to hide even behind your veil, and you had to turn your head before you burst out laughing at their foolish attempt at redemption.

But even the turn of your head was planned, not that they needed to know anyways. You know their rotten brains will just automatically decipher this action as a small try to hide your disappointment. Adding the facts that Zhongli had made you cry and Xiao had wounded you personally into the equation, the tides would no doubt turn to your favour.

Seeing how Zhongli's grip on his weapon tightened then loosened, you knew you had won the bet. He could only keep his head down low and motion for the adepti to retreat while stilling the earth, though his burning gaze stayed on your form until The Alcor all but disappeared into the horizon. He simply couldn't risk you leaving Teyvat for good, not when he finally had you in his grasp, and so he will wait patiently for the right time, just as he had for the past thousands of years.

"It is time for our divine grace to take back their throne." He muttered, the adepti bowing when they realised what his words entailed. He knew they would not run their mouth in front of the others; this was a matter only for the adepti to know. Not long after, Zhongli was left alone, the others returning to their posts and duties. He watched as the Alcor gradually disappeared from his sights, vowing that he would bring you back no matter what.

And with that grand finale, you finally left Liyue.

The journey to Inazuma was relatively pleasant, save for the terrifying thunderstorms at the lower-half of the trip. But eventually the ship docked, and you saw that familiar teleport waypoint where you once met the capable and friendly housekeeper named Thoma, except that he was nowhere to be seen this time. Oh well, it does not matter, he is probably at the Kamisato estate, waiting for his Lord's commands as usual. What was more important was playing your part as the kind and benevolent creator, and so you turned to the crew and smiled sweetly, thanking them for getting you to Inazuma safely with as much sincerity as you could muster to make it more convincing.

Travelling along the streets, without a friendly local guide this time, you could not help but subtly glance around. From the game, you always knew how the locals here treated foreigners, but experiencing it yourself turned that knowledge into the understatement of the year. It wasn't just overcharging you to a ridiculous degree; there were also the stares that never seemed to leave your figure and the whispers that revolved around you as if you were the eye of a tornado.

But it matters not. As long as they don't stop you from "vacationing" in this gorgeous nation, then you won't pay any mind to their actions.

However, this time the plot happened faster. You had no idea just how The Shogun managed to grasp the news of a fake creator being present when she was so....closed-off from the world, but clearly she had some amazing news sources. The streets were filled with even more patrolling officers than you recalled, and even the people on the streets had taken to scattering when the Doushin came around.

Well, this was clearly not a good time to be a foreigner huh? Because a Doushin was already heading your way, and in a condescending tone had asked for your identity, or any documents related to it. You did not have any, though this time even Kazuha could not save you with his smooth-talking, which in fact seemed to annoy the officer more.

Instead, the officer reached out to remove your veil, but Kazuha wasn't going to let him. Half because he knew you were going to get taken away, and the other half was due to the slight possessivenes swirling in his chest. Why should he have to let other people be graced by your beauty and light?

Although shielding you from the guard did seem to wear his patience thinner than the thread that made up Zhongli's sanity.

Sensing Kazuha's worry when the officer roughly grabbed your arm to take you away, you slyly patted the back of his hand and shook your head, putting on a comforting smile and whispering for him to go back to the Crux.

Despite his initial hesitation, you knew he'd listen to you anyways. After all, he couldn't fight the Doushin here and risk getting his kind, caring and benevolent creator injured or even exposed here could he?

Hence he retreated, hungrily drinking up your sweet smile as you were dragged away. He feared that this might be the last time he'll ever see of you and so he did his best to engrave the soft and beautiful curve of your lips into his memory as he went back to find Beidou.

You, on the other hand, weren't too worried. After making sure you had fooled Kazuha with a convincing smile, you opted to follow the guard instead. He was essentially your one-way ticket to the Raiden, so why not? Even though you would have to be thrown into a prison cell, you supposed that it wouldn't be the worst thing on Earth.

In the end, you will be the one seeing their arrogance and triumph morph into an amusing combination of regret and desperation anyways, and you certainly weren't in a rush to speed up the process.

".....Is this the order of The Shogun?" You asked, knowing that he most likely weren't going to give you an answer, but you still have to keep up the role, which was as fake as they had deemed your identity to be. So, you let out a seemingly self-mocking chuckle.

"First Mondstadt, then Liyue, and now Inazuma. It would seem that I am truly not wanted by my children. But at least they look happy and content. After all, even baby birds leave their nests one day...."

Muttering to yourself, you didn't miss the slight flinch from the officer, though it only earned you his panic, hidden behind a harsh shove into your cell once he's done reporting to his higher-ups.

"Do not act like you're the real creator, Their Grace may be forgiving and benevolent, but we certainly will not be merciful."

He snorted and walked off. Good lord, you have never seen anyone as arrogant as that. And of course you weren't complaining, it just makes their begging afterwards more.....satisfying, wouldn't you agree?

That doesn't make your time in the cell any more pleasant though, seeing how they saved the worst one for you.

You didn't have to wait long though, since it only took an hour or two before Kujou Sara was standing before you, peering down at your curled up form as if you were the most repulsive being she's ever laid her eyes on.

Instead, she settled for ordering the guards to free you from confinement and had them escort you while she lead the way to the Shogun's residence. Sara spoke not a word to you as usual, and you busied yourself with looking around subtly while keeping your head low to mask your lack of fear. The scenery was more beautiful than what you had seen in game; the colours were more vivid, and even the lavender melon that hadn't looked appetising were practically tempting you to take a bite out of their orchid bodies. Unfortunately, you didn't get to take in the beautiful view a little longer, for they had already brought you into the Tenshukaku.

It would seem that Raiden is eager to meet you, seeing how swiftly her subordinates dragged you to the Tenshukaku. Upon entering the room, your eyes landed on the puppet sitting serenly on her throne, eyes closed and meditating. Hah, what a nice facade to disguise the anger practically radiating off of her.

You weren't scared though. After all, even dogs don't bite the hand that feeds them, and you could easily take back everything you've ever graced them with.

Thus, 'long time no see, my strongest battery.' was your first thought, though you could not let that spill past your lips. Hence, you let out a small but sweet smile and mumbled in the sweetest voice you could let flow from your vocal chords.

"How have you been, Ei?"

The archon in question slowly opened her eyes, elegant and refined as always. Although, from the fury burning in her purple irises alone, you could already tell that she wanted your existence to cease, and that if it weren't for the fact that the creator had asked to bring you back alive, you feared she may have slashed you with her elemental burst right here and now.

You could sense how the Doushin and Sara froze upon hearing you address their archon by her real name. However, before Sara could reprimand you, a look from Raiden sent them bowing and leaving the room. And now, it was just you and her.

You were just wondering why she demanded to meet you alone when a thought popped up in your brain — could it be that because she couldn't execute you personally without the other archons present, she wishes to hurt you in a non-lethal way instead? Seeing the confirmation in the lilac eyes you once found beautiful, you almost let out a snort. My my, who knew that the almighty Raiden Ei was actually such a sadist?

You refused to let her hurt you though. How dare they hurt the actual divine being who had given them life and created this beautiful world for them to live in for a mere phony? How dare they give you scars just because they were too ignorant to see who's the real deal?

With that in mind, you raised your eyes to meet hers, yours ever so subtly showing the galaxies they hold, and hers slowly filling with slight confusion when she noticed the depth of your orbs. It did not hinder her from holding her precious sword to your neck though, so you cut her off before she could speak.

"You mentioned that when we meet, you wished for us to enjoy some tricolour dango together along with the finest tea you have. It is such a shame that we had to meet like this." You smiled, keeping your gaze and voice level as you took in every change in her expression from suspect, to shock, to disbelief and finally distrust.

"....I do not know how you dug up that information. It matters not, for that only applies to their Grace. You are but an imposter who is undeserving and yet seeks to take over the throne, and I shall not be deceived so easily. Since their Grace is too kind to the likes of you, I will take it upon myself as their loyal devotee to punish you for your atrocious attempt."

Before she could lift her blade, you grabbed it with a hand. You thanked the high heavens that it was as sharp as you hoped it to be, since you did not have to dig the blade too deeply into your skin for your blood to show. You weren't willing to leave scars because of their foolishness after all, and God knows that those maniacs would be more delighted knowing that they had marked you in some way, albeit under less ideal circumstances.

The two of you watched as the ichor slid down your arm before one, two, three drops of it splattered onto the pristine white clothing you had. It shimmered an ethereal gold before being absorbed, and Raiden had finally gone still for once. You could almost hear the non-existent gears turning in the puppet's head, where a brain was supposed to be, and before you could react, she had gently removed your injured hand from her blade and tossed the sword aside.

Kneeling before you, she fretted over your injury while keeping her head low as Zhongli and the adepti had, desperately trying to heal you. Frantic apologies flowed from her lips like a river, and she panicked slightly more when she noticed that you were still bleeding. She was selfish, not wanting others to know about your existence, but your well-being and health eventually won the mental debate taking place in the puppet's head.

"Your grace, I did not realise it was you. My sincerest apologies for being ignorant, and I am aware of how unworthy I am to touch you but I beg of you, do let me heal your injuries before you decide to take your anger out on me." Having said that, she called for Sara to bring a medical kit, and the lady swiftly came in worth one in her hand. She showed neither shock nor regret as she helped the Shogun patch up your hand, though you supposed that it was only normal considering the number of years she's had in learning how to keep her emotions from showing on her face.

Huh, even a short-lived mortal is more capable than long-lived archons in this aspect.

You were tempted to stay and see how Ei and Inazuma would react and repent for their sins, yet the beginnings of an earthquake warned you to leave quickly. Your time in the Tenshukaku was almost up, so you quickly grabbed a brush and paper and left a note for a certain angy dragon. Or maybe it was an angy Teyvat, you didn't know. Just in case it was the former though, you could only hope that a note would prevent the people of this gorgeous nation from being decimated.

'Morax, I wish not for the citizens of Inazuma to face your wrath. With that, I hope you spare them from death and suffering alike.'

The note was short and sweet, as you had liked. There was nothing else to say to him anyways, so you rolled up the paper and turned to Ei, placing it into her hands.

"If you wish for your people and nation to live on, pass this to Morax if he arrives. Do not fight, your people should take priority. I'm terribly sorry for ruining your eternity, but it seems that you are favoured by luck itself, for my time is up." You lifted the corners of your lips into a gentle curve as you patted her hand.

You really were too kind, so benevolent and so bright that Ei could not believe her eyes nor ears. Her people watched and talked about you behind your back, dragged and tossed you into the filthiest cell they had, and she herself had injured you personally. She wanted to make it up to you, to proceed and lavish you in the best luxuries Inazuma, no, Teyvat could provide. She did not want you to be absent from her side, so why was it that even though you were in her hold now, it seemed like you would disappear any second?

What did she have to do to make you stay? Did you want her heart? Her head? Or should she injure her hand the way she had injured you? Tell her, what did you want from the Raiden Shogun? She would give you everything and anything, from her eternity to the stars in the sky. So why? Why did you still want to leave? Why not stay with her for eternity?

Seeing the crazed looks in those purple orbs, you removed yourself from her tightening grasp and avoided her attempts to hold onto you to ensure your stay. You still had to visit either Sumeru or Watatsumi Island anyways, and being held in captivity was not a price you were willing to pay. You knew that she could and would easily pull you into her consciousness, and you sincerely did not want to live your life there.

Reminding yourself that, your eyelids fluttered shut and you let the wisps of power engulfing you take you away, finding yourself in front of the Alcor again. Technically speaking, you also did owe the crew an explanation for your sudden disappearance and some reassurance, the sudden hug from Kazuha only proving you right. Even though you weren't close to him or Beidou, you still felt a little guilty when you realised that he was shaking.

To make it up to him, you patted his back and offered Beidou to join in on the hug, which she appeared to accept begrudgingly but you knew better, especially from the way her shoulders sagged in relief. Once they had both calmed their nerves, you ushered them back to work. Despite them questioning your next destination, you knew it would be impractical for them to sail to the other nations with you, and teleport waypoints were a godsend. You told the two that, and as disappointed as they were to not be able to accompany you, they still respected your wishes unlike a certain duo, possibly trio, which you greatly appreciated.

Hence,for the first time since arriving in Teyvat, you gave your first genuine smile, making Kazuha swoon internally and Beidou turn away in order to hide her burning cheeks. You were very well aware that the archons could possibly see this, though you weren't worried. In spite of the lightning flashing in the background and the rumble of the earth, you knew that they wish not to end up in your bad books just for a few mortals. Having confirmed the safety of the people who had helped you, you could finally retreat to your room on the ship and decide your next destination.

Now, where should you grace with your presence next?

#withered blossoms #withering blossoms #sagau #genshin sagau #sagau genshin #yandere x reader #scheming!reader #yandere genshin x reader #genshin sagau x reader #sagau x reader #sagau genshin x reader #creator!reader #sagau reader #genshin sagau reader #sagau genshin reader #raiden shogun #zhongli #rex lapis #morax #genshin fanfic #sagau fanfic #genshin sagau fanfic #sagau genshin fanfic #withered blossom writes #withering blossom writes #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #imposter!reader #genshin imposter reader

[azsazz]

Change Your Ticket (Part 3)

Rugby Star!Cassian x Reader (A Modern AU)

Summary: Dating famous rugby star Cassian Bailey is a dream. What's not one is keeping your secret relationship under wraps. Will you and Cassian be able to keep from the limelight or will your relationship crumble because of it?

Warnings: Smut, phone sex.

Word Count: 4,212

[Part 1] [Part 2]

_________________________________________

Cassian Bailey would rather be anywhere else but here.

Here, sitting at a table in front of a dozen cameras and even more reporters, sitting on the edges of their seats with gleams in their eyes that make him want to yack. The fresh rugby uniform feels tight around his throat because he knows what they’re going to ask him, and he doesn’t want to answer. He doesn’t want to be here at all, would be in a car on his way back to the hotel and not talk about the Stars’ loss or the fact that Azriel might be out at the end of the week because of an injury or because he just wasn’t in the right headspace today.

He'd been too busy thinking about you and your gorgeous, soft eyes and that perfect smile. Sure, he’d played hundreds of games before he met you, and dozens even more after, but the longer he pursued you and the harder Cassian fell, something changed.

Cassian hadn’t ever had a support system quite like this, someone showing up to his games and supporting him through wins and losses—both surprisingly filled with soft spoken words and even softer touches afterwards. His parents had been taken from him at a young age and he’d ended up in the care system, growing up there until he aged out and was sent to the streets.

He’d been a surprising addition to the Starss. Cassian had been a walk-on and was recruited for his stature, determination, and his potential. Coach Devlin had been the first to offer him some sort of kindness in his short life, offering not only a position on the team, but a family.

But it hadn’t really been a family, not like the one he’d yearned for since he was old enough to comprehend that his parents had given him up in hopes of a better life. Or, at least that’s what the caretakers told him. He doesn’t know exactly how he ended up in care, and he isn’t sure he wants to know. At least no one had crawled out of the woodwork when it had been announced he’d been signed to the Starss, claiming to share his familial name or demanding money.

His brothers on the team had come and go. Nothing was a constant in the world of professional sports. He’d seen men bigger than him with career ending injuries, friends traded to other teams and brothers retire. They were his brothers in sport, not in blood, even though he’s pretty sure he’s had all of their blood on his uniforms from rough games at one point or another. The people he was close to became just that, another notch on his belt of people leaving him.

Until he met you.

When you started discreetly showing up to every home game he played—dressed in a homemade jersey with haphazardly cut felt numbers and glitter glue on the front—knowing you were there, watching him from the stands and cheering him on while he was on his stage, in his element…it made him something he hadn’t been in a very long time: proud.

You had given him the support system that he knew he was missing his entire life. You, this is what it meant to be loved, to have someone showing up for him not because they wanted their name in the press or their photo taken or secrets to spill to the media. You want Cassian for who he is, for all of his good days and bad, the losses and the wins, the imposter syndrome he goes through occasionally. You are his rock, pulling him out of his rut and making him see the shining sun again.

Gods, he misses you.

“Cassian, Cassian,” a female reporter yells, her grating voice snagging his attention. Lights flash brightly in succession, and he blinks once, twice, but the black dots swimming in his vision don’t clear quickly. He guesses they’ve started while he’s been lost in his thoughts. “What do you think went wrong tonight?”

My girl wasn’t here, he thinks sourly. Cassian knows it’s not your fault, you do have a life outside of his, and it’s difficult when what the both of you want don’t align yet. You don’t want to be seen in the press, to be known for taking the Cassian Bailey off of the market. IT would open yourself up to hate and attention that you don’t want, and he understands it, but it doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Right now, he doesn’t like it one bit either.

Cassian’s phone buzzes inside of his pocket, snaring his attention. It has to be you again. His gaze flickers to Coach Devlin, who stands at the back of the room next to Rhysand. They’re leaning against the wall as they await their turns to be questioned, arms crossed over their chests as they watch Cassian answer questions he’s been hearing since he first entered the league. He knows by now how to conduct himself.

Coach would have him running practice twice a day if he knew he had his phone on him, but he couldn’t help himself, snatching it off of the top shelf of his locker after the two-minute shower he’d been allowed, sending off a quick reply to your chain of supportive texts that made his heart flutter and ache simultaneously. Azriel had been waiting for him and Rhys in the locker room, ice pack taped around his ankle, grunting assurances that he’d make it into the next game, come hell or high water.

When Devlin’s gaze roams from Cassian back out into the crowd, Rhys sends him a taunting smirk, and the look in his violet eyes is full of mischief. He is ever the posing face of Devlin’s good graces when the coach or another chain of the team is around, but when it’s just the players? Rhys is as rowdy as the rest of them.

Biting back a tired sigh, Cassian answers the reporter’s question, who is all too eager for his response. Her auburn hair is superbly styled, pinstripe pantsuit pressed to perfection. She stands, recorder shoved in his direction, her dark makeup rimmed eyes piercing his as he speaks.

“I don’t think that there was a certain instance where we did something wrong, per se. Of course, losing a player as great as Azriel was a hit to the team, but we all played our best, and unfortunately, we just weren’t there tonight—” At least, I wasn’t there. “All we can do is practice harder and prepare for the next match.”

The reporter nods, smiling smugly to herself because she asked the first question. Cassian refrains from rolling his eyes as another journalist stands.

Questions trail on and Cassian responds with all of the answers he knows are safe. Ones that don’t allude to anything more so the reporters won’t be able to twist his words or make shit up about him for reads. “We did some great things today, but we will continue to improve,” “The Sealions have a great program and we came into this game knowing it would be a battle,” and his personal favorite, “I’m looking forward to the next time we play.”

The next reporter is familiar, but Cassian can’t quite pinpoint which news station he’s from. He deals with a lot more press than he likes, and it’s nearly impossible to remember any of their names when he’s bored out of his mind and they’re asking all of the same fucking questions.

The man is wiry in his suit, tall and lanky, cheeks rosy from what, Cassian doesn’t know. He has a full moustache on his upper lip with a patch of gray on one side. He taps the notepad in his hand like a reporter from an old-time movie, and Cassian stifles his grin as he pictures a newsies cap on his head and a cigarette hanging from his lips. “Azriel Teller suffered an injury on pitch tonight,” he starts, and Cassian’s annoyance flares because the man isn’t asking anything about himself, but of his teammate. “Do you think this had anything to do with your poor attempt at defending tonight?”

“Excuse me?” Cassian blurts, temper awakening. He shifts his massive body in his seat, leaning forward. An intimidation tactic that doesn’t deter the string bean reporter’s blunt gaze. Cassian notices Coach Devlin slipping closer through the crowd, and he should be grateful that coach is about to interrupt and get him the hell out of here, but now he wants to answer.

“I asked about Azriel Teller’s injury,” the man repeats, slower this time. Cassian’s fingers fist into the hem of his shirt.

“I heard,” he grits, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself. But the beady-eyed fucker won’t look away, won’t do anything but wait impatiently for his answer. The room is dead silent, other reporters on the edges of their seats, waiting for his temper to react instead. They’ll have a field day writing their posts if he does what he wants, which is to curse the motherfucker out. “As I said,” he starts, uncurling his fingers by force from tight fists. He slides his hand over his thigh, resting it on the phone in his pocket and the message he knows is waiting from you. You always help keep him level-headed. “Losing Azriel tonight was an unfortunate event, but he’ll be back in training with the team soon, and we’ll come back stronger than ever for the next match.”

It's a stare off between him and the reporter who is clearly waiting for more. Cassian won’t give it to him. Settling back into his seat, he crosses his arms over his chest, lifting an eyebrow in the silence. Devlin is almost to the front of the room now with Rhys on his heels and the corner of Cassian’s mouth threatens to turn upward.

“Thank you for your time, Cass,” Devlin announces to the room. He’s using his coach voice, strong and loud, controlling all of the attention in the media suite and leaving no room for discourse. “Captain Rhysand will now be taking the floor.”

Thank fuck, Cassian thinks, slipping from his chair as quickly and smoothly as he can. As a six-four giant, he probably looks like a fool, trying to crouch down out of the way of the cameras, but he manages.

Releasing a tired breath when the door shuts behind him, cutting off the already growing shouts of attention from the Stars Captain, Cassian takes a moment to himself, lingering down the halls towards the locker room so he can toss on his sweats and meet his driver for the night.

The locker room is empty when he arrives to hastily gather his things. Even Azriel has disappeared, the grumpy player must have either went to visit the athletic trainer again or was sent back to the hotel by coach.

Once Cassian has managed to grab all of his things, he makes way for the blacked-out SUV that is driving him back to the hotel. The driver helps him load his things and he settles into the cushy leather seat with a sigh, finally taking a moment to breathe.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he pulls up the text chain he has with you. He’d hardly had time to text you between the post-game lecture Devlin had wanted to give and the media room, but he sees he has a few missed texts from you while he was busy deflecting indirect blame from the team and blatant blaming from that asshole reporter.

Sweetheart: I’m sorry for the loss, wish I was there to hold you. :/

Sweetheart: And hug you and kiss you and try to cheer you up.

And:

Sweetheart: Give me the name and workplace of that reporter. I have a strongly-worded email I’m drafting to send to his boss. What a jerk.

The last one makes him chuckle, typing back a response.

Cass: Pretty sure Coach Devlin is giving him a piece of his mind right now on my behalf, maybe Rhys too if we’re lucky.

Sweetheart: Don’t care. They’ve got nothing on me.

Cass: That’s my girl. I miss you.

Sweetheart: I miss you too. Are you on your way back to the hotel?

Cass: Just got on the road. Stay awake for me?

Sweetheart: Of course <3

The ride to the hotel doesn’t take long. Cassian ignores the few paparazzi that are waiting outside for him as the driver helps him gather his things. He thanks the man with a genuine smile that turns faker the longer he tries to push his way inside, ignoring the shouts and questions thrown his way. He’s exhausted, and only wants to speak to you.

Cassian all but drops his things to the ground once he manages to get inside of his room. He slides the lock shut with a loud click and releases a heavy breath, shoulders drooping.

His phone is already in hand, unlocking it and pressing on your contact to call you as he makes his way further into the pristine room he’s been staying in for the past few days. Flicking on one of the lamps, he nearly jumps in surprise at the display set up on the coffee table.

A bouquet of colorful flowers stands tall in a vase, surrounded by his favorite candies scattered across the glass top. There’s a pint of ice cream—Moose Tracks—with a little note folded on top and his heart flip-flops at the sight.

He reaches for the card, awe-struck at the sight. He doesn’t need to read the note to know exactly who it’s from, but he does so anyway.

Because ice cream always helps me fight the scaries.

Your love, (Y/N)

P.S. FUCK THE HATERS!

With a laugh, Cassian dials your number, grinning like a love-sick fool at your note.

“Hello?” you answer, and he loves how you say it like you don’t know what it is you’ve done, making him a soft mess like this, heart close to bursting with emotion. Your voice is enough to wash away the remainder of the guilt and disgust he felt from how the match ended and the interviews following.

“Sweetheart, you didn’t have to do all this,” Cassian says softly.

“I did it because I love you and I couldn’t be there tonight. I’m sorry for that.”

You don’t have to be sorry. You have a busy life with your own things going on as well, and he gets that. As much as he wishes you would just allow him to take care of you so he can keep you on the road with him, he understands that you’re not quite ready to take that step in your relationship yet. Being on the road with him means going out in public together and facing the media frenzy and all of the attention that comes with it.

“I understand, sweetheart. Don’t be sorry,” he answers, checking the time on his phone. It’s late, and you should both be getting to sleep soon. He has an early morning tomorrow, traveling home with the team. He pictures how you’ll look when he inevitably winds up off the plane at your place, if your hair will be mussed with sleep or if you’ll be wearing those skimpy sleep shorts and his shirt. The thought makes his body flush. “Are you able to talk?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be enjoying the ice cream I sent you?” you muse over the phone, and that teasing lilt to your tone has Cassian aching already.

“I’d rather enjoy you,” he breathes, shoving the pint of ice cream into the freezer, bypassing the rest as he makes his way towards his room. You’d called a place nearby and asked them to deliver some of Cassian’s favorite treats to his hotel, along with a bouquet of flowers he always sends you. There’s a note along with the surprise, but there wasn’t enough room to say all of the things you wanted to at the time, so you’re glad he called. “What are you wearing?”

As lovely as your gesture is, now that he has you on the phone and can hear your voice, calming his very bones, he wants nothing more than to revel in you. Your soft hands, trailing down his chest and gripping his cock, your plush lips trailing the same path. He misses your body, plaint under his touch, the way you cling to him. Cassian’s cock jumps with excitement at the breathy laugh you respond with.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” your voice is soft, shy, and it makes Cassian’s steps falter and his shoulders relax. This, this is why he loves you, because you’re willing to give him what he needs, but you aren’t one to ignore the harsh truths.

Cassian considers for a moment. He could retrieve the ice cream from the freezer and drown the loss in your kind words and sweets, or he can use what little energy he has left from the grueling day to listen to you talk about all the things you’d be doing to each other if you were here. By the way his abdomen tightens at that particular thought, he had his answer.

“I’d rather talk about how you’d make me feel better if you were here,” he responds, voice taking on the gravelly edge that makes your thighs clench. He can talk to you about the loss when he arrives home in a few days. He’d rather have something to brighten his mood before all he has to hear about tomorrow is coach’s lectures on the way home.

He can hear you shuffling on the other side of the phone. You’re probably already in bed, and he can picture you curled up in one of his shirts, cozy under the blankets with your iPad open beside you so you could watch the game while finishing up some freelance projects this weekend.

The game had been scheduled for the evening, one of his favorites because the night games created such a different atmosphere than those held during mid-day or morning. People were rowdier, willing to drink more. The chants of each team echo throughout the stadium as if twice as many people are there. The lights blaring down on the field put him on a stage he’s become more than comfortable with, and the cool air of the night fuels him.

“And what makes you think I’d be doing all that?” you poke, but Cassian can hear the soft snick of your laptop shutting and shuffling on the other side that tells him he has your full attention.

“Doing all what?” he counters, putting the phone on speaker so he can rip his sweatshirt over his head. He makes a face at the pristinely made, sterile hotel bed he has to attempt to sleep in for one more night, but maybe with your help he’ll finally be able to. “You’re going to have to explain what you mean by that, sweetheart.”

Your breath hitches and Cassian grins, shoving the gray sweatpants along with his boxers over his hips. The sheets of the bed are tucked tightly between the mattress and frame, and he struggles for a moment to release them from their traps before climbing in, leaving them just covering above his knee.

He knows things are about to get hot.

His cock rests thickly against his stomach as he grabs his phone, placing it on his chest to keep you close.

“Well,” you start, and he can tell you’re already a little breathless. Shutting his eyes, he imagines the blush to your cheeks, the shyness that overcomes your body before the wilder side comes out to play. “First of all, I would have drawn you a nice, hot bath because I know you either would’ve skipped out at the match altogether, or you would’ve taken a two-minute long one and hardly properly washed yourself.” Cassian can’t help the grin that tugs at his mouth. You’re correct, of course, so he plays along for now.

Cassian doesn’t have lotion or lube, because he hadn’t thought he was going to be getting up to this sort of debauchery. He’d gone a few days without you just fine, and had even suffered a loss while you weren’t able to make it before, but tonight of all nights, he just needs to hear you.

Spitting into his hand, he brings it down to his shaft, sliding long strokes across the silken skin. The roughness of his hands doesn’t even compare to the softness of yours, and it’s hard for him to picture your delicate ones caressing his length, but he shuts his eyes, letting his head fall back on his shoulders as he focuses on the sound of your voice.

“Would you have gotten into the bath with me?” he asks, picturing it now. You guiding him towards the steaming bath, your freshly scenting soap you bring to all of the trips he takes you on permeating the air. He would kiss you fully, letting himself bathe in your senses before you ultimately would have wrangled him into the tub with promises of kisses and more touching later. Cassian gets a hand around himself, stroking his length slowly. “Or would you have made me get in it all by my lonesome?”

“I’m thinking I would’ve helped you out of that uniform,” you answer, and Cassian can hear your desire down the line. He grips the base of his cock tighter as you continue. “I would’ve done it slow too, so I could touch all along that perfect body of yours. Up over your abs, brushing across your pecks, and then I’d have gotten on my knees—”

“(Y/N),” he chokes, fisting his cock in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting you to say that, of all things.

Cassian follows the length of his cock back to the head where a bead of precum pearls at the tip. Biting back a hiss as he skims over his slit, he uses it to his advantage, slicking his way back down.

You continue on as if Cassian hadn’t interrupted at all. “Because you tie those pesky shorts so tightly,” he can hear the pout in your tone, picturing those perfect lips jutted out as your stare up at him. Cassian knew you were good at this whole long-distance-sex-over-the-phone thing, but he didn’t know you’d be this good.

He catches a soft whimper from your side of the phone and leans his head against the headboard, reveling in it. He hopes you’re touching yourself, imagining him swirling your clit between his calloused fingers, scooping your slick for a taste. Every noise you’ve ever made for him is committed to his memory, and so what if he decides now is the perfect time to reflect on those noises? He is just a man, after all.

“I’d help you get them off, you know, if you only ask.”

Your hum catches in your throat and you release a shaky breath that shudders the line. “But I’m stubborn, so I don’t ask for your help, even though your hard-on is making it difficult to get your pants down,” Cassian can’t help the splitting grin and huffs. “And then your cock bounces up from the fabric and wow, Cass, you’re so fucking big, looking like you could split me in two.”

Cassian grunts in response, jerking his hand faster. Skin dragging on skin, he’s desperate for more. “Don’t think you know what you might do with it?” he goads, words shuttering. “You look so pretty on your knees, sweetheart, what are you going to do with me?”

You whine down the line and his heart stutters in his chest. He aches for you.

“I can’t decide if I want you in my mouth or in my hands, so I take you in both,” you start, and Cassian squeezes his eyes shut tightly, gripping the base of his cock so he doesn’t orgasm prematurely. He loves that combination of yours. It’ll have him falling to his own knees in a matter of moments, as you work your skilled tongue around his length.

“Sweetheart, (Y/N), please,” he pleads. If you don’t stop now, he’ll explode because of his picturesque imaginations.

You don’t slow down, don’t give him the time to stave away his impending orgasm. You’re too full on in it now, just as he is, yearning for the other from other a country away.

“Come home to me,” you plead breathlessly.

“Can I cum first, sweetheart?” Cassian tries to tease, but it sounds like a beg.

“Where are you cumming?” you ask, and he realizes quickly that you’re back to playing your game. There’s a twinge of sadness in your tone now, and it makes his chest ache, but you’re panting and soft noises tell him that you’re still working yourself, closer and closer to your edge.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, pumping himself faster. Heat coils low in his gut and he’s getting close, can hear you coming undone on the other end of the line. “I’ll cum wherever you want me to.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•

Change Your Ticket Taglist: @justasillylittlegoofyguy @starsinyourseyes @jdeclerc @indiedash @kennedy-brooke @tothestarsandwhateverend @azsteris @obsessivereaderchick @aalxrose

#cassian #cassian x reader #acotar #azsazz #acomaf #acowar #rugby!cassian #change your ticket #rugby!cassian au #acotar au

[ymechi]

Who is the real Creator?

I had to edit and remove some parts for this to make sense, I hope it is coherent if not please tell me so I can fix it and explain everything better. I did not expect people to be interested in this au so I was surprised! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

-TW: cult au, yandere, impostor au, mentions of being hunted down, mentions of trauma, mentions of character injuring themselves (nothing major)

-Gn reader and darling (please tell me if I mess this up message me and I will fix it)

Part 1, This is part 2, part 3, part 4

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reader ushered Darling inside giving them the blanket which they used to dry their wet self. They sort of reminded Reader of what a wet sad cat one of their neighbors used to own looked like after a rainy day. Darling sat on the kitchen table as Reader once again prepared some tea. Reader really should get a nice tea set soon, they mentally put that on their shopping list the next time they are going to the market.

Darling sat quietly at the table sniffing and not saying much, Reader had no idea what to say before it would have been so easy they knew each other in and out. Yet now. . . it was as if a hundred years had passed, a million things had happened. Reader was now not sure what to say.

They weren't sure if they even wanted to comfort Darling. Shouldn't Darling be comforting Reader? All they got was that half-assed hospital meeting.

If Darling is upset wasn't there a league of followers, acolytes, servants heck even Archons who would comfort them why come to them now out of all times and alone? Clearly something serious happened that they had to runaway alone to them out of all people.

Reader inwardly sighed.

They bought out a pan. One thing they knew how to lighten the mood up was pancakes, it was easy and they knew how to do that . In fact, they might get a master's degree in making pancakes, Reader should ask Nahida if that is possible.

(They tried not to think that it was Darling's favourite meal to eat after being sad.)

"So. . . What happened?" Reader tried to start.

Darling did not respond for a while just quietly staring at them. Their eyes were a bit dull and exhaustion was evident on their face. They seemed to contemplate what to say before they started.

"I. . . I asked to wield a sword, at first they were against it but I wanted to try y'know?"

There was no question who they were, the crazy cultist acolytes. Reader shuddered at some of their past interactions with them, they were good weapon wielders reader would give them that. . . Reader had first-hand experience after all.

Yet Darling was alone with the trigger-happy acolytes all this time.

Although Darling was the supposed Creator, they should have been fine, Reader looked over at them and they lacked any surface wounds.

They should have been fine right?

"It was fine at first they taught me proper stances but then I got a bit touchy with the sword, you know me how I get with stuff like that and then I," she sighed, "I cut myself like an idiot."

Reader rubbed their head and thought about it, they would not be here for a cut something else went on and they waited for Darling to finish.

"Then I bled," Darling was quiet for a moment, "it was red."

Hey, it rhymed Reader wanted to say to break the tension but Reader refrained. They did not get it at all. What was so wrong with red blood? Wasn't blood supposed to be red.

Darling must have caught on and they looked like they finally understood something. It was they who wanted to understand what was going on!

"Uhm yeah you maybe don't know but the Creator is supposed to bleed gold."

Oh.

"Oh."

That is all they could say really. They felt dumb for a second there they had been actively avoiding taking any religious classes or any mention of religion for their own mental health's sake. Perhaps if they did not avoid it as much they would have understood what was going on much easier but for now the single religious book they owned remained hidden and untouched in their drawer.

Now that they finally understood the problem it was quite the conundrum. Darling was supposed to be the Creator yet now they were not because of some gold blood requirement. What would happen to Darling? Would they accuse them of harming the "real Creator"? Hunt them down like they did to Reader? Would they come and hunt down Reader again?

Although they doubted they would be hunted down again as the "blessings of the Creator" thing, whatever that meant, Nahida told everyone else seemed to work and placate them.

"Now what?" A reader asked tiredly.

"I don't know I managed to sneak out while they were distracted but I guess they will find out soon to come and get me."

Reader grimaced and turned around to prepare to finally whisk the ingredients they were too distracted to do while they listened to Darling.

"So like did they hurt you after they found out or something?" Reader cringed at their wording. They could have said that better considering it was a serious topic.

"No they didn't they just healed me and left me in my room," Darling paused, "You should have seen some of the looks on their faces, like I killed their puppy or something. . ."

Reader tried to imagine what it was like worshipping someone only for that person not to be the god they worshiped. It must have gone bad for both parties involved. Darling was told she was a god only to be looked at in disappointment. The followers who eagerly awaited for their beloved Creator only for it to be an illusion.

"Yikes, I can't imagine it was pleasant."

"It wasn't."

They went quiet after that soon the pancakes were ready and Reader went out to serve them along with the tea. Reader had to admit they could make some good mean pancakes because Darling looked a bit better with some of the color returning to their face.

There was another knock at the door.

Another visitor? Who would come- They looked at Darling, oh right.

Darling once again looked pale and the grip on their utensils was trembling. What had they done to shake them up this much? Reader wasn't doing better either their heartbeat going frantic as unpleasant memories resurfaced. Damnit they thought they had gotten better.

"Reader it is me Nahida we need to talk, I am sorry but it is urgent."

Reader inhaled, thank the stars it was only Nahida.

They relaxed their shoulders and opened the door. Despite the rain, the Archon looked dry and Reader wondered what sort of magic they used and if they could learn it as well.

"I am sorry to interfere," she looked behind Reader, "but it seems you have the person we have been searching for," Nahida said while looking genuinely sorry.

Right, the only person Darling knew besides the acolytes in this world was the Reader. No wonder they were found out so quickly.

"Uhm- uh- How about some pancakes first?"

Nahida looked the the back of Darling who was hunched over and relented. She must have seen something as she agreed rather quickly. Reader closed the door as the Archon entered their home. Nahida approached Darling they did an elegant bow and Reader was suddenly hit that Darling was or now was the creator. Darling got someone as well respected as Nahida to bow.

Reader had seen the way people behaved in respect and reverence at Nahida and how the scholars, the Emirates, and merchants would listen and take in her input. So someone like Nahida bowing. . .

Reader never fully understood the weight and status of that position the so-called "Creator" held even after being hunted down over it.

Yet now it seemed very heavy.

How did Darling live with that?

Darling face grimaced as she saw the bow. Nahida looked worried.

"Is there something going on your grace?"

This was going to be an awkward conversation. How to explain to someone you were not the god you thought they were?

Darling looked at Reader before looking back at their untouched pancakes.

"I am not your grace Nahida I bleed red like the rest."

A tense silence followed.

Nahida to her credit seemed calm with the revelation. She had her point finger touching her mouth in a contemplative gesture.

"I see and that is why you are here."

The room was quiet for a while. Reader awkwardly wrung her hands and it was surprisingly Darling, the least stable person who spoke up again.

"Did you know?" Darling said in an accusing tone their eyebrows narrowed. Reader thought they almost looked angry. Where did that come from? How could Nahida have known if no one else including them knew?

"To be honest your-," she paused," I had my suspicions.

Wait what- That was the first Reader heard about this.

"And you did not bother to tell me! To tell anyone?!" Darling jumped up from the chair.

"Was it funny watching me being led on, all those expectations, all those promises my whole world getting fucked up - fuck can I even go back home to my family?!"

Reader jumped between them hiding Nahida behind them trying to calm Darling down who looked to be on the verge of crying or a breakdown.

"Look Darling I know you are upset, it's messed up but she didn't have anything to do with it okay? I am sure she had her reasons."

Darling took one glance at Reader's eyes and fell down on the chair, they hid their face in their arms.

"I am. . . Sorry. . . Shit."

That de-escalated quickly just as it erupted. They worry about Darling's mental health at this point.

"It is fine, I suppose this is a very difficult situation for everyone involved," said Nahida.

Reader wrung their hands together.

"Hey I know it's not the time but I did make extra pancakes let's eat first?" They tried not to sound pathetic.

The silence was their reply.

"You and your damn pancakes," Darling said and snorted.

"Hey! I only do it because I know it cheers you up!" they said and huffed.

Nahida who looked at them laughed, the previous suffocating tension was gone and Reader went up to get a plate for Nahida as well. Finally both Reader and the Archon sat down on their seat they all ate in relative silence but it wasn't as awkward as it could have been.

Once finished Reader poured some hot tea.

"Thank you Reader the pancakes were delicious I will have to ask you to let me eat them again sometime."

Reader smiled at the Archon.

"Of course, you are welcome any time."

Darling who watched them snorted. Reader looked at them with questioning eyes.

"What are you laughing at," Reader said in an accusing tone. Was Darling mocking them again?

"You speak like them now," Darling said with an amused glint in their eyes as they looked at Reader.

"Ohh, I guess I kind of do. . ."

"Nerd."

"Hey!"

Nahida once again took a look at them and laughed. Both snapped out of their bubble and looked at the Archon sheepishly.

"I am glad to see you two are getting along well, I hope both of you don't mind the topic changing to a more serious one," she looked at both of them and both nodded,"Before we start, I have a question for you Darling."

Darling looked apprehensive but nodded.

"Do the others know about you not being the creator?"

". . .Yeah they do," Darling said and looked at their empty plate.

"I see that does make things easier it is better it is out now that later knowing how overzealous some acolytes and followers can get."

Reader grimaced and Darling looked a bit defeated at the statement.

"How much do you both know about the creator?"

Reader and Darling looked at each other and it was Reader who started to speak.

"Honestly not much I avoid religious talk at all cost."

Nahida looked at Reader with sympathy.

"I guess I am the opposite I got to learn a lot, basically in each new era the creator descends into a new incarnation, and their vessel is not always the same," she paused thinking about what to say next, "They like to live peacefully with their people because of that they don't always have their powers with them but they can gain them over time, something like that"

"Yes that is most of it, it is presumed in this era the creator chose to be a normal human which we thought was you Darling. We also thought that the Creator's presence and powers were weak due to being a normal human in this incarnation. Despite you not being the Creator some part of what I said is true.

"Which part?" Darling asked.

"The part where the creator chose to be an ordinary human, despite having such a faint presence me being so attuned to Irminsul could still feel it, yet it was weak. That is why I was confused. Rather than being the Creator you Darling had gotten a blessing from the Creator."

"But how I have never met them" Darling interjected.

Nahida stared at Reader and once again Reader was reminded of those intense stares directed at them as if trying to solve a puzzle piece.

"No, the creator was - is still quite close to you."

"Wait really?" Darling looked at Nahida in confusion inching closer towards the Archon as if they went closer physically they would solve the mystery.

"Yes we are sitting beside them after all."

There was no question about who Nahida meant both she and Darling were staring at Reader.

No.

That is what Reader replied with.

Nahida shook her head.

"I am afraid it is true.

No way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @resident-cryptid @probablynoposts @esthelily @mitsukashi @charming-mage @chaoticfivesworld @irisxiel @dulcedelechenginamo

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin sagau #self aware au #self aware genshin #cult au #yandere #imposter au #sort of not really an imposter au #mentions of trauma #mentions of character injuring themselves (nothing major) #mentions of being hunted down #nahida #Not much is happening in this chapter to be honest #they eat pancakes and talk

[starshinesama]

✦ In such a lonely world, how I wished to see you again. ✦

Your pleas were heard.

Authors note: this takes place after any regular sagau fic, (definitely imposter au). Reader is Gender-Neutral but B/N is an implied she/her :]

༄ CW: CHAOS,Fluff episode,cringy red liners

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

- POV: after being so lonely in Tervat, - you meet someone from your world, - stranded, like you.

How odd, you feel like your feeling a sense of deja Vu.. hmm, must just be from rewatching the Liyue lantern rite cutscenes over and over!

previously ...

"O-OH, uhm.. im not really sure how to explain this-"

Your about to explain before you hear a familiar voice behind you-

"Your grace~ there you are! Oh? Who's that friend of yours over there?"

no… please not right now..

ugh, not NOW

“your grace?”

no. you are not dealing with Yae Miko today. you’ve had your fair share of chaos already.

you’d rather escape right now right here than have Yae miko spilling your secret to B/N, you've decided, your going to tell her yourself.

You grab B/N’s hand and book it for the nearest Teleport Waypoint!

.　⁺ . ✦

"hufff huff.." You pant furiously as you finally get teleported somewhere else in inazuma..

Probably somewhere in Chinju forest, considering the glowing flowers and trees everywhere

wow, you hadn’t abused your legs that much since the other timeline!

you don't know why you overreacted really.. you finally catch your breath. But hey! It worked out-

“uhm.. WTF IS HAPPENING?!??? and did she just call you your grace?! What was that about??"

oh right.. you avoid B/Ns gaze as u twiddle ur thumbs for comfort

“well.. uhm, do I really need to explain this?”

…

...You literally bled gold earlier.

...

“YES! yes please, can you explain everything? i have no clue how we even got here! are we dead? is this the afterlife? were we reborn- ARE WE IN HEL-!?"

“Hey! slow down girl, ok I can explain everything..” you sigh, this was gonna take awhile to explain, even you had a tough time coming to terms with the fact you were here now

“you might wanna sit down for this one” B/N still shocked and tired from all the running, lets you sit her down on a nearby rock, and thus you begin to explain

"So I was playing Genshin when.."

˓𓄹 ࣪˖

"-and then I saw you! So that's how we're both technically gods now" :D

You pretty much told her everything, wellll almost everything

You still haven't told her about your.. "welcome"

But you’d rather not think about irrelevant things right now

“woah.."

You gulp and nervously await B/N’s reaction..

“[Name].. that-that is…so…”

here it comes..

*You prepare to comfort a shocked B/N, and when she finally opens her mouth..-!!*

“soo.. AAWESOME!! OH MY GOD SO YOUR SAYING- WE’RE ARCHONS?!? wait no scratch that THE GOD OF ARCHONS?!” ✭

“OK I KNOW THIS IS ALOT BU- WAIT YOUR COOL ABOUT THIS?!?” You say surprised, You almost shouted out your words from shock!

“GIRL HOW COULD I NOT?!? THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING COOLL, You HAVE. to. tell. me. more.”

“Well.. I do have this theory about our powers"

B/N inched closer hanging on go your every word "come on tell me!"

Her eyes sparkled with excitement they were so bright you were kinda scared you were gonna go blind 😨

You chuckle slightly at B/N's amazed expression and continue.. "well I was thinking that since we're the 6th Descenders that we would have some sort of connection to the elements and Celestia, like the traveler-!"

B/N smiled as you continued to rant about your theorys...

.　⁺ . ✦

“woah, So technically.. we're Indestructible like the traveler now?” she glances at a nearby cliff

"NO!! 😨⊹ ermm first of all the Traveler isn't indestructible, they just respawn- tho I'm not sure if it's the same here.. and I haven’t really tested if I was indestructible so..”

“So.. its not off the table? 😏”

You look towards the nearby cliff, and then look at B/N, she looks back at you.

You both smirk at each other

╭╯. ˚˖ ⁰₊ ⊹ ∘ ⁖⌯

“AAAAAAAAAHHH”

“SHUT UP WERE GONNA DIEEE”

“THIS WAS YOUR IDEA! ITS RIDE OR DIE NOW!”

You and B/N scream incoherently like 2 possums in a cat fight as you both fall down and down getting whiplash in the progress

why did you have to jump off the cliff without testing it first..!?

You shut your eyes tightly as you wait for the pain of hitting the ground…

but it never comes ‧₊˚⊹

“AAAAAÆÆEAA-“

suddenly the screaming stopped.

B/N suddenly goes unusually quite, did she die? Oh wait your still holding on to her

B/N gasped! “[Name] look!”

you hesitantly open your eyes

and… your.. not dead! yay!

instead your 5 feet above the ground floating in thin air-

WAIT YOUR 5 FEET ABOVE THE GROUND?!

“AAAAAAAA” You latch on to B/N tighter in an attempt to not fall

“HEY!! We're actually gonna fall!!"

“Oh, sorry!"

well that was embarrassing *cough

Your eyes widen as the wind in the air swirls around you and B/N ༄

and before you know it your back on the ground ༄ ⊹﹒

You look back at B/N and you both grin

“WE JUST UNLOCKED ANEMO!!”

__

Well that was quick! You sigh in relief

before you knew it, you and B/N were back safely on the ground, sitting next to a glistening Pond

(So after the initial shock, B/N seems to be taking this god powers thing REALLY well)

(like.. concerningly well.)

well, compared to you atleast

But you really didn’t have the most warm welcome to this world

B/N: "Sooo do you think we can unlock every element?!" :D

You bring your hand to your chin as you think "hmm.. probably since we’re both not from this world, how should we test it though?"

You both sit in silence for a moment

till B/N interrupts the silence of 2 braincells brainstorming together with a question 𖥔 ✢ ?

"oh speaking of wich!" "Cant we just ask the traveler about this? since we can just pinpoint wich nation she could be in" B/N points out the waypoint on top of the cliff

you flinch from guilt, but you know Lumine's arm is doing ok.

You look down at the twinkling pond, despite being shallow it has an odd charm to it ˖ ࣪ ִֶָ

You suddenly get an idea!

"hmm.. speaking of collecting all the elements! do you think we could control hydro too? It would be so cool if we could-"

"Trying to dodge the question? 😒"

You gulp a bit

"hahaaha nope! But try to dodge this- HYDRO ATTACK!!"

"WAIT-"

A fucking waterfall crushes B/N

…

Pfttt- wait no-

"OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK???"

"PLEPWLRPEKEOLEOW" the only thing you manage to hear are undistinguishable drowning sounds..

you rush to B/N in a panic (OH NO DID I KILL HER???)

AAAA B/N! BREATH BRO BREATH!!!

The never ending waterfall finally seems to be finished and stops.

B/N starts to cough furiously, phew shes not dead

"sorry.. I didn’t know it was gonna be that strong- wait… B/N!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?" a smile creeps up on your face again as B/N finally catches her breath ⊹ ｡ ﾟ

cough "w-what??? SORRY (cough) CANT HEAR YOU SINCE THERES WATER IN MY EARS. DUE TO A CERTAIN SOMEONEE" she managed to say through huffs and coughs ⊹ ｡ ﾟ

SORRYY (your still guilty, how dare you)

_

B/N somehow managed to dry off a bit, you were still feeling guilty so you tried to summon anemo powers to dry her hair.. to no avail :[

"ugh.. i think im having a brain freeze.."

"i dont think thats how that works-"

B/N shoots you a glare you know all too well..

"uhm.." you chuckle nervously

"anyway to what I was saying!! you know what this means right?!?!"

"That you waterboarded me-… WAIT, YOU USED HYDRO?!?" :D B/N's mood finally takes a turn as her ears perk up

"YESSS!!! THAT MEANS WE CAN COLLECT ALL THE ELEMENTS."

B/N gasped "OOOH I HOPE IM NEXT, I need to get my revenge on you" (you gulp, let’s hope she forgets about this…) she evilly laughs at your expression/j

she chuckles “haha, ok ok im just kidding, don’t worry ill go easy on you, so.. this means..!!”

"WE CAN AQUIRE ALL THE ELEMENTS AND BE OVERPOWERED!!!"

You both grin from ear to ear

"I WAS THINKING THAT TOO!!"

"ooh… OKOK so how did you do that?! i wanna try it too!"

well i kinda just-

You make a series of undistinguishable movements with your hands, and you fail at expressing whatever you were trying to say

"hm.. ok i think i’ll just figure it out myself.." B/N sighed

“Fair enough!”

well! my turn~ lemme try >:3

_

after hours of practicing you both figure out how to summon the elements (well, two of them anyway!)

You find out how to summon gusts of anemo like venti, and a Hydro blast like Neuvillettes, only problem is.. You cant tell HOW strong it’ll end up being.

But that'll be a problem for future you!!

For now you and B/N decide to call it a day, after all the Lantern rite festival is tonight! ✧

as you and your best friend touch the waypoint, somebody in the shadows reveals themselves.

They watch as you and B/N disappear in a flash of light

“So there's two of them now.. How annoying.”

𖥔 The balladeer, 6th of the Fatui harbingers. 𖥔

“I guess this mission wont be an entire waste of time after all. Ha, it's time to report back to the Tsarista.”

It's lantern rite time!

_

You and B/N have a wonderful time in liyue.

Thankfully Zhongli was distracted discussing to Baizhu about his back pains so you were able to sneak past him and see Hu tao!! Thank archons she didn't really recognize you..

She decided to come along with you still thinking you were foreigners

The three of you walked around liyue, seeing all of your beloved characters faces light up in person was so touching, along the way you saw Xingqiu and Chongyun dining together at Xianglings restaurant, their smiles lit up the streets till Xiangling offered them a serving of stir fried Hydro slime.. (to wich they politely declined) you chuckle at the sight, soon you see Ganyu and Keqing discussing what seems to be important documents over a nice set of tea, you can imagine Ninguang in her Jade chamber with Beidou and before you know it your back at the funeral parlor just in time to watch the lanterns float up into the sky.. you hear a distant melody in the air, ah you'd recognize Xinyans guitar and Yunjins singing anywhere!

Just then you hear a loud bang from the sky followed with the crackling of other fireworks being lit

Your best friend Holds your hand excitedly ⁖✦ ˖ ⊹ ｡

You smile, This year, everything will be alright.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🎉

___

Hewoo

I know this post is kinda late cus I ended up oversleeping, but I hope y'all like it nonetheless! The crossed out inner monologue of the mc is actually something I'm planning to use as foreshadowing for another fic.. but if your not really interested in that feel free to ignore them! Happy new year everyone! :) 🎉

(special thanks to my beta reader <33)

Taglist: @madokamagicaa @vianitry @scarletttcroww

#sagau #genshin sagau #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #happy new year #2 best friends #chaos #friendship #you and your best friend get isekaid into genshin impact #genshin impact #liyue #genshin liyue #thank you all #best friends

[shiny-jr]

Have you ever thought of the imposter au with the staff of raven College? I could just imagine Crewel being the reason the reader is summoned to twst while not fulling knowing it (Probably coming in at the end to safe then after realize shits going down). That and maybe Crowley and Vargas going full mad dog and just chasing the reader like crazy. Maybe Trein tripping over his cat while chasing and reader/imposter feeling bad about it. Along with Sam using shadow creature to track the imposter down. Just a fun ideas I've been having, feel free to ignore.

I have thought about it before. I believe I even once mentioned that I would make a separate post for it eventually. Recently been thinking about platonic yan staff, so like fatherly type stuff for those of you with daddy issues.

Platonic yan Crowley! Wants to be your father figure so bad. Why won't you let him take you under his wing? You'd be his little fledgling! Ah, he must do his best to protect you! He is the headmaster of a prestigious school with unfortunately many arrogant troublesome students. Often he'll dramatically lament, inquiring why you don't wish to spend time with your dear old father? When you reply with a deadpan, "You're not my dad, Crowley." He'll break out into a melodramatic wail, oh woe is him that his own child does not wish to partake in any activities with him! Ah–– a way home, you ask? Well, during one of his many hours long searches in the library to find you a way home, something he adamantly assures you he's been doing, he had the most profound idea which he shall so graciously share with you! Why not stay in Twisted Wonderland and allow him to formally adopt you? Then you shall be his child and he will be sure to provide you with all the love and care you need! Isn't he a genius with such boundless benevolence?

Platonic yan Divus! Probably believes the whole world is out to get you. You poor little thing, far from home, lost and afraid, with no where else to go. Eventually he'll begin to doubt that Crowley is taking proper care of you, and deem his efforts as inadequate. Look at this wretched place, an old dorm filled with cobwebs and ghosts is supposed to be your home? An old oversized uniform and a handful of cheap worn clothes from the shop are all you have to wear? And your classmates, his own students, oh he knows what they're like. A bunch of ruthless mischief making pups! This is unacceptable! Divus will spoil you like his own. He has a soft spot for you, so when he's improving your conditions and getting rid of the old dirtied items, you hold up that feral monster cat and go, "Can I at least keep Grim? Please?" Ah, the puppy eyes. How could he say no to you? But that cat is getting a bath first. Oh, and he's incredibly wary of all the students. In his eyes, none of them are good enough to be your friends, and he's beginning to suspect all of them of trying to take advantage of you. Listen here, darling, you are not to trust any other men besides himself, are we clear?

Platonic yan Vargas! Oh god, not another one. Somehow, he's worse than the other two dads you've acquired. Especially because he thinks your escape attempts are some sort of crazy athletic training regimen. He's come to think of your monthly escape attempts as survival training, so not only is he enjoying himself but he's more than capable of keeping up and capturing you. Then dragging you back to NRC with a proud grin, boasting about how you got so much further than last time! "Let me go! Let go of me!" That's the spirit, he cheers. Seems like you're raring to train again, but now's the time regain your energy for next month! Eagerly tells you stories about his youth, how he was the strongest and most popular! He really wants you to look up to him, and he likes to think he's your favorite dad. Especially when it comes to Crewel, let's say they have differing opinions on how to properly care for you. While his counterpart prefers to pamper you, Vargas believes you need more activity and excitement in your life! Wouldn't you agree with him? Come on, give him a smile now!

Platonic yan Trein! The only real dad on the list. He has two sons that are already full adults now, and he believes you'd get along wonderfully with them. You would be their new younger sibling. "That's kinda... dumb. I'm not their sibling though." You comment, as he responds, it is not foolish to want all three of his children to get along. It's a bit annoying that you can never really get on his nerves, despite him being notoriously strict and a little intimidating with his stoic look. But like most of the dads on this list, he too has a weak spot for you. He still expects you to be a well-behaved though. No matter what you're like, he can handle it. After all, he's been a professor at NRC for so long, that he's seen and taken care of countless students. If you're looking for quiet time, he's probably the best to be with by far. He'll let his feline familiar Lucius sit on your lap as he serves you a platter of cookies with a hot beverage. When you do try to get on his nerves for whatever reason, it never works, so you end up plopping down beside him on the couch in defeat, angrily opening a magazine as he calmly continues to read a book. Now that the opportunity has present itself, he'd like to have a word with you. You should know that you are his pride and joy. That being said, should any of his students be pestering you, inform him immediately and he'll handle it promptly.

Platonic yan Sam! Most likely the best one to be with. It doesn't even feel like he's trying to be your dad, he's more like a cool but still concerning weird uncle. But if you had to classify him as a dad, he'd be the chill one. Although it is scary that he seems to know way more about you than you ever told him about. You suspect it has something to do with his friends on the other side. Whenever you're not with him, you have spied an oddly moving shadow or two... But the upside about that is, he always seems to know what you want. If it's small, he'll offer it for free. If it's a bigger item, he'll let you have it if you work the shop with him for a few hours. What's say you, huh? Sound like a deal? He'll entertain you a trick or two while you're here! Sam likes to call you his little good luck charm, because you tend to bring in more customers and just put him in a good mood. He choses to trust you, more than the other dads, probably because he knows you can't escape because he's always watching you somehow. You go on ahead, just be back by dark, you hear? He wouldn't want to send his friends to force you back home if you stay out late, m'kay?

#shiny speaks #twisted wonderland #twst #yandere #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #twst staff #dire crowley #twst crowley #yandere dire crowley #divus crewel #twst crewel #yandere divus crewel x reader #ashton vargas #twst vargas #yandere ashton vargas #mozus trein #twst trein #yandere mozus trein #twst sam #yandere sam #platonic yandere

[asquared-ohgodnotthehorrors]

Ok, I’ve been seeing people make other character timeloop AUs, and as much as I enjoy seeing those, and as much as I like to think “that’s just you, let people have fun, there is no singular canon for this,” a tiny part of my brain always screams “but thEY’RE WRONG!!!”

So, I’m gonna appeal to that foolish part of my brain and also prove it wrong by breaking down how I feel these timeloop AUs should work. Heavy spoilers for In Stars and Time below.

Now, before we start discussing that, we need to first break down what effects does the Timeloop have on Siffrin specifically.

Siffrin, even before the timeloop, has… so many issues. Moreso than his other compatriots, at least from what we see. The thing is, Siffrin’s identity issues are all shared with the other party members. Siffrin is unsure what parts of themself they like and dislike or want to bury like Isabeau, Siffrin has a diasporic disconnect like Odile but worse, Siffrin has something that brings so much joy yet so much grief (the Timeloops, yes, but also their culture they can’t remember) just like Mirabelle, and Siffrin is so scared of being too weak or too late or too stupid to keep people from getting hurt just like Bonnie.

But there are also the abandonment issues, the crippling fear of being left behind, being forgotten and not being loved. That is the main crux of Siffrin’s issues in the game, it’s what spawns the timeloops, encourages Siffrin to keep everything secret, break the universe, etc. And the other characters don’t have that same crippling fear…

… at least, as far as we know. See, the special thing about In Stars and Time is that it dissects Siffrin right in front of us. We know about the other characters, they get plenty of time to talk, but we know so much about Siffrin that we would not have learned otherwise. The other characters have issues, but we never… deep dive into them the same way. They’re left up to interpretation.

So… let’s do some interpreting!

Mirabelle is the easiest. She has super awful imposter syndrome, and the thing is it doesn’t really come up much outside the main route and few snack times. But that imposter syndrome is super real. If she started looping, how would she react? Would that alleviate her imposter syndrome entirely? Unlikely, it’d make her think she was blessed by the Change god. But only at first. That same imposter syndrome might make her not tell the party members, but I don’t think it would actually stop her for very long.

Mirabelle is also much louder with her emotions than Siffrin. Her emotional highs and lows would be a lot briefer, yet more frequent. She wouldn’t be empty too easily.

There is also the fact that Mirabelle’s very belief is Change. It doesn’t matter the grief it brings her with her identity, she still loves and believes in it. That’s a good thing in some respects. In each loop she’ll try something different, make each loop as unique as possible. It’ll keep her sane for longer than Siffrin… and then, she’ll start going off track. Start doing anything, everything possible to make each loop unique. Even things she really, really doesn’t want to do.

She’d probably stop herself in some regards. Never hurt her friends, never kill anyone who they don’t intend to kill. But she’d definitely hurt herself. Hurt herself in every way possible.

When she gives up, it’s almost sort of a good thing. She’ll stop trying to make any change, let anything change. But the issue with that? She’d just be giving up the same way Loop did. What would that do to her?

Now, let’s move onto Odile. In terms of emotional awareness, Odile and Siffrin are very similar. Unlike Mirabelle, apathy likely suites Odile just fine. In fact, that would probably become a defense mechanism to Odile. She wouldn’t hide that she’s in a timeloop, she doesn’t have that fear of abandonment Siffrin has. But she would definitely not bring it up unless she thought it was important. That would lead to… conflict. She would essentially become the opposite of Mirabelle, trying to speedrun, get the loops as consistent as possible, and that means only disclosing information when it is necessary rather than when it is helpful. And unlike Siffrin, who is bad at hiding things, she won’t become an actor like him and try either. She’ll embody pure apathy and not even try to hide her pain.

Moreover, Odile said it herself. She would do horrible things to keep everyone safe. Perhaps harming them, for their own good perhaps, would be one of those things. It could take a hundred loops. But in that regard, Odile has a breaking point I believe.

Bonnie can be summed up like this: no. They are a child, it would end badly. They’d probably cry every loop because everything is so scary, overwhelming, and terrifying. It doesn’t matter how smart they are, they cannot and should not go through something like that. It would be meaningless suffering.

Now, Isabeau. Isabeau is the smartest member of the group, by a long shot. Probably not in the academic sense like Odile, but in the practical sense. He has practical knowledge, he knows about relevant lore, he can extrapolate about magic theory, he’s articulate and can do quick math, and he has fantastic charisma and insight to navigate social situations. He can figure things out, sort out his emotions and be honest with his family, So, how does he suffer?

He stops trying to use any of it. He stops trying to burden his family with his struggles. After a point, he thinks “well I’m invincible, might as well go into the house on my own a couple loops to scout out!” He’ll try to take every weight from their shoulders every loop, no matter what. And the sheer pressure and repetition will break him. Until he simply cannot move anymore. Til he loops, and collapses in front of the favor tree. Unlike Odile, he’ll try to do new things, but unlike Mirabelle, he will fail because he will try to do everything at once.

Now, I feel most confident in my Mirabelle analysis, and less confident in my other ones. But there are 2 things I’ve been ignoring that are important to bring up, which I will mention here:

First, Loops were officially broken when Mirabelle froze the King in time and satisfied both Vauguarde’s and his wish simultaneously. If everyone is being transparent with Mirabelle from the start or she’s the one looping, what’s to stop her from discovering that shield ability in the first place and solving things then and there? This is a… complex concern, and one I’m unsure how to answer. But I think I know:

Siffrin is the only one capable of learning about wish craft. They are the only one from the country, the only one who knew his wish, and the only one that can read that text. If Siffrin isn’t looping, they cannot acquire the memory of memories to progress. So, they’d likely not learn the reason behind the loops, and it would take so much longer for them to break the loops. Long enough to give up.

But then there’s the second issue. What about Loop? See, in all of these, I’m operating under the assumption that Loop is Siffrin. Siffrin is the only one who knows how to wish right, their wish is what causes the loops regardless of the target, they are the catalyst. But if you have Loop, then all should be good, right!?

Well… not exactly. Loop is Siffrin, and since a looper other than Siffrin will be interacting with them, they’ll likely be a lot less mean because they only hate themself and probably won’t be mean to their family. But they’re still Siffrin. They’ll probably still hide everything they can, and while they will reveal more they’ll always be terrified of doing so. Terrified of their family knowing. And again, Loop is about as in the dark as everyone. Loop likely will not leave the favor tree, will not join the party, will not try to acquire the memory of memories. They’ll be irrevocably stuck. Unable to progress to where Siffrin reached.

Ok, I think that’s all. In hindsight these ramblings were inane, but hey! Maybe you AU writers and artists can do something with this. Au revoir!

#isat spoilers #isat AU #isat #in stars and time spoilers #in stars and time

[euphorickaeya]

Hihi

if your up for it can I request (imposter au) reader whos on the run from everyone and ends up in snezhnaya. Exhausted from running, ends up collapsing in the snow. Childe finds them, foul legacy recognises them as the creator and yeah... Just sort of fluff/comfort if possible, I'm finding it hard to find works on him in sagau. Thank you

an yes! The classics, back in the prime days of sagau you’d find these in no time, but ofc ofc Childe is one of my favourites so I need to write this too!

i think, I wrote this too much out of what i wanted el oh el, as much as I love the carefree childe who’ll probably try to cheer you up by popping jokes, I’d like to dig deeper into their actual obsession to you. Reminder, I believe that, they don’t really worship you, you as the person but as a embodiment of the god that create them.

i don’t see a lot of people write about that, and it might be ooc but I really want to dig deeper into this!

—————

BLUE’S ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVOURITE COLOUR.

honey’s notes : hello, hello! I’ve been trying my hardest to get back into genshin impact, im currently trying out tower of fantasy + marvel movies, it’s been a busy year for me! Please do be patient with me when it comes to putting things out, im trying to continue both my series and see if im able to progress where I left off. As of now, have this small fic I wrote, I hope you enjoy this!

summary : ever since you’ve been small, you’ve always had the connection with the colour blue, it was the first thing you ever felt happy seeing. whether it’s the blue sky, the serene waters, or even, your favourite acolyte’s eyes.

pairing : childe x reader. [can be platonic/romantic.]

reader uses they/them pronouns.

may contain really bad grammar.

taglist : will be placed in later!

recommended song : once upon a december - christy altomare.

a cough escaped your lips, frail and shivering. you clutched the now tattered and ruined cloak, the fabric barely clinging onto your bruised and battered skin. Your fingertips run themselves against your arm, trying to create warmth.

you couldn’t tell if people were still hunting you, chasing you. their yells and distaste ringing in your ears, their words so thoroughly clear in your ears, never leaving. you grit your teeth. You haven’t slept in days, you remember. You told yourself you couldn’t, not until you’ve passed Liyue. Then you will rest.

You grit your teeth in anger and disappointment, your legs wanting to give way but your will won’t let them. You could remember the amber eyes that laid their gaze on you, full of hatred, full of distaste, as if, you were to blame of the way you looked. Were you?

You have no idea how long you’ve been on the run, how long have you had a full meal? Clean water? Warm clothing? A home? Every step you took, it felt like your body would cave in. You remember what Venti has told you once,

“there’s no home for you here. As long as you carry a face we so adore, you are always to be considered a curse.”

Your gaze stays on the floor, you can no longer tell when you’ve crossed lands, you no longer remember when you’ve stopped to take a rest, because you knew, they’re always near by, the people who despise you so, the ones who can never let go of the face you so wear.

For once, for once in your long walk, you look up. The silver storm of a suspicious land greets you so, you could almost see, every unique snowflake’s design, so intricately made. Your head makes a click, Snezhnaya. You could see the sigh that escapes your lips, forming a small gust of air in front you.

You just now start to feel the ice freezing up to your feet, your toes no longer being able to move, how long have you been walking this barren land? The icy blue was the only thing you can remember. For once, you smile. Blue was your favourite colour, it reminded you of the good things in life.

The blue sky, the calm waters you’d play at as a child, the bluebells that’d grow outside your home. You can no longer feel energy to walk, you knees give way, a soft thud onto the snow, you can barely feel the cold creep up to your limbs. The white snow, reminding you of a blank canvas. So peaceful, yet so horrifying. You’re alone, in what seems like a never ending field of ice and snow.

A hum is heard from behind you, you don’t turn your head, no longer feeling the will to, just staring at the white fields that lay itself in front of you. weirdly enough, you’re warm.

“your celestial highness, you must be cold no? don’t you worry. This one, will take care of their most beloved.”

You don’t remember what happened after, the last remnants you do, you remember staring at a beautiful creature, reminding you of the galaxies they’d talk about back in your world. Oh how gorgeous you remember it. You felt a warmth surround you, as you slowly close your eyes, letting yourself be consumed by the tiredness you’ve finally acknowledged.

blue eyes stared at you, you felt your eyelids still droop, your tiredness not going away. a hum, once again, though you can’t tell if that came from him or you.

Childe stared at you with uncertainty. Although not at you, archons, never at you. You force your fingertips to life, you felt it twitch, shaking. Your eyes slowly move around the room, the fireplace in the far corner, the countless pales of warm, boiled water. The bucket that lay at your feet, your feet’s draped in a hot towel.

You could tell why, from your ankles to your calf, it grew bright red, you though, from the snow, must be. Childe watched you scan the room, you remember him as awfully noisy, so, carefree. Almost child-like. It kind of weirds you out, how quiet and so, calculating his gaze was on you.

“tartaglia..” your hoarse voice calls out, as if a machine turning back to life, he moves, his hand reaching for a glass of water from the bedside table, slowly placing the rim of the glass to your lips, quenching your thirst.

“shh..beloved. you’re still weak.” His hushed whispers tell you, slowly tipping the glass more and more, so you could get as much water as you needed.

you force yourself up, childe supporting you from the small of your back, the soft plush bed dipping as childe stacked your pillows up behind you.

“where..” a hum silences you, you stay silent for a moment, almost afraid to speak.

“I cannot apologize for, what the other nations did to you, your highness..” childe replaces the now cold towel on your forehead, only now feeling the wet sensation as he peeled it off and placed it in a pale with warm water, you watched his hands wring it damp before dipping it back into the water.

“they know not, when their god possess such a weak mortal body, and for that, they are insolent idiots.” Childe continues, wringing the towel damp one more time, before folding it neatly, into a small shape, big enough for your forehead.

“but here, in snezhnaya, we adore you so dearly.. here you are, our treasure. the most wondrous.” you took the time to admire him, as he gently placed the warm towel on your head. You could see his ginger curls, lay so perfectly on his frame, his hair was a mullet, small cuts litter his cheeks, you mustered it was from the countless spars you always imagined he’d love to do.

his freckles littered his face so perfectly, his lips in a thin line, his gaze flickers from the towel to meeting your eyes. His cerulean eyes meet you, his eyes carry adoration, care, love and affection for you. a truly magnificent acolyte.

You could not think of anything to describe laying your eyes on childe for the first time, almost, as a breath of fresh air, but you can feel yourself bubble up, especially his eyes, oh how his eyes affected you so. Your favourite colour, Blue.

“we, snezhnaya as a nation, will restore you to your peak greatness. I, your loyal acolyte, the 11th harbinger. The holder of your foul legacy, will promise you so.” His words stun you back into silence. You aren’t sure how to respond to him, his declaration has you so curious. Why hasn’t he had the same reaction as the other characters you’ve met?

and if he knows who you truly are, then why doesn’t the others?

you didn’t let words speak for you, rather your actions. Your hand shakily raised to meet your beloved Ajax’s face, it was almost if it was a perfect fit, his cheek to your warm palm, his eyes flutter close, as he yearns more for your skin, your touch. Your thumb slowly runs through his cheekbone, delicate, soft and gentle.

“ajax..” you mumble as he hums even more, the vibration ran shivers down your spine. he looks up at you, a small smile on his face, determination and his face shows serious listening, wanting to hear every syllable your lips tells him.

“will you…will you protect me, till then? till I give them their judgement, my revenge?” You whisper, voice still hoarse, ajax leaned his lips against the inside of your palm, nodding enthusiastically, kissing it ever so gently, as if you’ll break from under his touch.

“I promise, I will restore you back to your divinity, and I will stand by your side, the day you take back the world you once created..” his eyes glisten, never breaking his gaze on yours. you couldn’t help but, fall a bit in love with his eyes. after all, blue is your favourite colour.

“we must get started then, no?”

#euphoric~asks #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin self aware au #euphoric~works #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #yandere genshin #childe x reader #euphoric~childe #genshin impact sagau #AAAA 3 AM POSTING LOL