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#sorry. i am insane.

tymbalzine · 6 months

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A Really Really Long Shang Tsung Tangent

HIIIIIIIIIII ~ <3

I've mentioned it on another post but I feel like getting it out there with more explanation. This is my first sort of think piece or character analysis I'm posting publicly so bear with me lol.

The TLDR is there are villains, there are people who are bad, and there are people that could do better but have a lot of trouble doing so. Not all of them are disordered or have something afflicting their decision making. But Shang Tsung, in my mind and given all the factors, is a villain with ASPD/Anti-social personality disorder.

While ASPD can contribute to what is medically considered 'psychopathy' and 'sociopathy', and from my anecdotal experience those who experience ASPD do not shy from the words, I personally will only be referring to the disorder itself.

I also got a comment about how much of this is him being disordered and how much of is a choice. I want to make it absolutely clear, while my theory of his tendencies stand, all his actions in the game are his choices nonetheless.

I still clown on him for not being able to just grin and bear the cards dealt to him and/or make a friend because... yeah he really just should have. This ramble is me acknowledging that many villains don't fit the description of ASPD, but he's one that definitely is rife with enabled anti-social behavior.

I think a lot about the second chance Liu Kang gave him. The parallels they gave Shang Tsung and Raiden are evident. People born in small pockets of their world, unassuming and uneventful until someone of great power (titans, no less) approach them with a task.

The difference is how they handle it. What is there to handle? Well... a lot, if you have as severe problems with empathy and collaborating with the rules of society as Shang Tsung does. His pre-game biography lists him as 'too lazy for labor' and 'too shifty for honest work', but he can work hard for the right promises as is evident in the game.

Gritting his teeth and doing the work handed to him would have been easier. While Outworld has its issues (prominently, the remnants of the royal's imperialist stand-offs and the ableism that looms in various Outworld characters' narratives), the general wellbeing of the working class doesn't seem to be one of them. But as a huckster, he's isolated, consistently having to rely on his lies, and receiving the consequences.

To be honest, I don't think Shang Tsung didn't try. I can believe it not working out very fast, but I don't think he simply ignored that standard work is out there. He can be arrogant and bratty, but he doesn't dilute his options.

Symptoms of ASPD such as lack of empathy, ignorance to the result of his actions, and disinterest in performing standard work/social obligations are already evident, and would impede on his life whether he is a powerful sorcerer or a nobody. These impact any friendships he could have, his impulse control, and how he regards anyone up to and including himself (who he deems untrustworthy).

But we are social people that want to feel, want to be happy. Anti-social behavior isn't extreme introversion, in fact many people with ASPD are very extraverted and social. It's less about being around people and more about the reactions they're capable of while with said people.

Not all villains have a disorder, obviously. Some have motivations deemed reasonable, and some are just delightfully evil. Shang Tsung starts off very disordered and not entirely villainous, though hardly good. He was someone who couldn't do what people around him thought was so straightforward.

He's in distress over his life as a scammer, but not really how it impacts others. He's unable to connect to them and has a sense of grandeur over them, but honestly most people are doing better than he can. People, to him, are inherently isolating and alienating. He's aware this isn't normal, and can only answer to it with apathy and more lies.

Most people with ASPD don't go in for that diagnosis. They do so because of comorbidities: mood disorders like depression and bi-polar, anxiety disorders such as OCD, and other personality disorders such as BPD. I do think this would have been the case for Shang Tsung as well, if Outworld was a sort of place that would pick these things out about him, but it isn't.

Damashi's approach is so glaring to me as a result. I can make all the wet cat jokes in the world, but it is sad to me that he cannot process the consequences of his actions, only that he is forced to feel them. He expects so badly out of others that he doesn't bother giving them anything good or better from him, which gets him punished, and the cycle starts all over. That's what he figures the woman is about to do.

And that woman could have been anyone. That's already the lesson there, as she is Titan Shang Tsung in disguise. He was given the right words by someone equally manipulative and was just as vulnerable to tricks, lies, and abuse as anyone else would be in his position.

You gotta remember, if she was there just to pummel him into a pulp, he was about to let her.

His decision to follow her is one of desperation and likely depression. Depression manifests differently to those who find themselves alienated, and do not understand people's sympathy and overt emotional responses.

From my anecdotal research, there's a set of words that come up a lot that doesn't show up on many articles or bullet points about ASPD. Numbness and boredom. It's not a normal boredom where you can occupy yourself with an activity or friends. It is a complete lapse of emotional connection and stimulation. If you aren't angry, you are bored. If you aren't bored, you are numb.

Which moves us into the topic of: sensation chasing.

"Damashi" teaches him real sorcery, and what ensues is his development into the conniving and cruel Shang Tsung we know and dread. A true testament to Shang Tsung's wit and manipulative tendencies, along with this new position dissolving his impulse control. Now that he isn't held down by a lack of magic, he treats people like objects toward his greater goals with even less regard than he had in the first place.

Good L-rd you are short.

People are the subject of his curiosity and how he chases off his boredom susceptibility. "Damashi" has a plan set in stone, but Shang Tsung's horrific laboratory is unrelated to "her" demands. The lab isn't just dedicated to his own research, but his sense of morbid novelty. He can already manipulate and use people - creating hybrids out of those already existing is a very "because I can" thing.

Syzoth is one of Shang Tsung's biggest victims of this. Shang Tsung exerts control of him first for his shapeshifting, but proceeds to keep him around and hang his family over his head... because he can. And because he can, he thinks it better to do so. But the more time he kept Syzoth in the cold, cruel, and dark, the more chances he was giving him to fight back or sabotage Shang Tsung - something that ends up happening.

Shang Tsung killed Syzoth's family very early into this. Perhaps even the day the Syzoth agreed to stay in the lab. What does he get out of hiding that? Perhaps it was a sort of inside joke, a chuckle he got with each and every visit. It wasn't for control, and it wasn't to get anything out of Syzoth besides a reaction. He gave himself something by doing it this way, no matter how cruel it was to Syzoth.

There's a lot of other examples obviously about how Shang Tsung treats the people around him, but I think that one's the most important to get out of the way. This post's long enough already.

More evidence of Shang Tsung having ASPD is his primary motive: revenge against Liu Kang. Shang Tsung doesn't dare question why he couldn't fit into a normal life, he only applies new faces to the life he detested and blames them for his problems. Taking responsibility and accountability would mean processing his social faults and how to improve them... something he absolutely refused to do.

When Shang Tsung is faced with "Damashi"'s true identity, he's more angry about being manipulated and outsmarted than any of the plans falling through. He's told, to his face, he isn't the best or smartest. He was a tool, running errands while being conspired against. Instead of registering that and empathizing with the people he used before this reveal, it fuels his internalized cruelty.

When he collaborates with Liu Kang's crew, he clearly tries to suck up to Kuai Liang and even Raiden. But these are people that run on empathy. Caring about people as a whole and having faith in them doesn't mesh with Shang Tsung's view that this whole world runs on fraudulent transactions. In that moment, he fits in with the people around him just as poorly as he did while running a travel cart.

Alan Lee, the voice actor of Shang Tsung, mentions that "Damashi" approached Shang Tsung with a cheat code to life so potent that it makes Shang Tsung determined to own up to his depravity. He describes him as a "madman with pandora's box, mixed with a child to the keys to candyland." He's unpredictable, not just by standard villainy, but because nothing else has appealed to him in life.

Now that Shang Tsung has burned nearly every bridge he had, he wants to own up to that. Because to him, the only other option is the quiet. Boredom. That numbness again. If he spent any longer in that travel cart, he may have frankly committed suicide out of the sheer droll.

He will lie, steal, and carve his way into and out of any problem as he was enabled to under Titan Shang Tsung, and in a way has initiated a new, sad reality of chasing that Titan's shadow.

#shang tsung #mortal kombat #mk1 #sorry. i am insane.#brief BRIIEF suicide mention #mine: writing

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babydarkstar · 2 months

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honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered

#i think about gideon nav every day #she makes me want to eat drywall #shes so jesus shes so her own thing shes so god and savior It Is Finished divinity of love and sacrifice #honestly so much of harrow is so so relatable to me shes so real for everything she does #her little griddlehark meetcute au her little divine highness au #ive already waxed poetic about the harrow nova au #sorry to keep waxing poetic about this but i really am rotted about them #like im going insane. tamsyn muir when i get you tamsyn when i catch you #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus #i am you as you are me we are one and two and two and one #i cannot conceive of a universe without you.#should i forget you let my right hand also be forgotten; add more also. if aught but death part me and thee.#I FELL INTO THE WATER AND NOW IM FREE

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15hammerheadsharks · 1 year

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god i love it when men moan and whimper. its so hot.

#sorry. i am insane.

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thebibliosphere · 3 months

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My Grammarly subscription finally ran out in December, and I'm not renewing it (see my various past rants about their introduction of AI), but I just got my final "insights" email, which tallies up how many words you've written for the past week but also since you started using it.

I almost want to frame it as a fuck you to my "I'm not doing enough" brain worms because, since September of 2019, when I reinstalled Grammarly for a pro-editing job (required by the company, as many of them now do 🙄), I've written over twelve million words.

I primarily used Grammarly for my emails.

That's 12,834,172 words of telling people they're gonna be okay. Sharing resources, doctor information, and just general words of comfort. That MCAS isn't a death sentence. That MCAS from long-covid isn't the end of their life; it's just going to be different from now on.

And here I was, feeling guilty about setting up auto-responders with links to resources because I got too burned out to do it one-to-one anymore...

...Yeah. No. I did enough.

I did enough.

#chronic health tag #personal #sorry if you feel brushed off by the auto-responder #I truly am #but this was driving me literally insane #I was so emotionally drained

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laegolas · 6 months

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“It’s just scrap,” Hua Cheng says about his ashes, his only weakness, the one thing that could destroy him, a creature who grew up unloved and cast aside.

Given freely to the person who is his reason for existing, a person who sees the value in every little thing, a god of scraps.

#I am going INSANE #tgcf #tgcf spoilers #heaven official's blessing #hualian #I have rewatched this scene over and over sorry eming but ashes have my heart #the show is so insane how is this allowed #it’s somehow gayer than the book wtf

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cornettotism · 4 months

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Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.

Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."

The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA

I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.

He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-

#i go insane about spirk #day however many its been #amok time is such a good episode in general #but this scene #man.#k/s #spirk #james t kirk #s'chn t'gai spock #star trek tos #star trek #ollie rambles #sorry this is so incoherent #i am having feelings.

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averageludwig · 6 months

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Demosolly as fucking ... Bubbline ... From that one universe.... This came to me in a dream and i woke up frantically to draw it. . at . er 2 am on a school day. . cough. I Might have a problem 😁 i cant explain my thought process here if you get it .... You get it. ..