#day however many its been

[cornettotism]

Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.

Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."

The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA

I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.

He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-

#i go insane about spirk #day however many its been #amok time is such a good episode in general #but this scene #man. #k/s #spirk #james t kirk #s'chn t'gai spock #star trek tos #star trek #ollie rambles #sorry this is so incoherent #i am having feelings.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yeehaw just wrote over 3k and i can't publish Any of it without miles of fantasy au context

#technically its a full scene and a half #brain: hey what if a solid thousand words was just silly puppets having breakfast #and then i said 'damn youre so right' and yeah. silly puppets having breakfast and arguing over ale vs mead #i love writing from barnaby's pov. im so unfunny that its ruining his reputation #i go There Could Be A Joke Here #but head Empty so there isn't one. i continue on. rinse and repeat #anyway big scene of barnaby and wally bonding #as i was writing i was honestly like 'the wallaby enjoyers would have a field day with this' #am i one of them? no. however i know my 'qp barnaby and wally' belief bleeds into my writing #so yk. its easily read either way. #of course i immediately counteract it by sprinkling in a laughingstock crumb or two but yk yk #fantasy au is so fun to chew on... everyone gets to say Fuck and threaten genuine violence... #absolutely unprompted #speaking of writing im actually going to Attempt nanowrimo this year #im gonna try to belt out the roughest rough draft of a standalone book idea #i still need to finish the outline but! im sure i can do that in 10 days! #but anyway ive been having so many fantasy au feelings lately idk why #i think i need to rewatch lotr! extended editions of course im not an animal. #well i am. but - yeah whatever yall get it #im craving that sweet sweet high fantasy & worldbuilding & high quality cinema

[vodid]

i know its only october but part of me wants to shut down my store for the remainder of the year so i can focus on making more products with less pressure/things to do, but its def gonna suck not having that wittle bit of income. i would like to finish up comms and accept some more before the year ends tho. i just have a few left rn (cannot believe they've taken me this long i am so sorry 😭 i want to work on that next year, starting with taking less at a time to hopefully get into a pattern)

#urgh just. vo rambles after a long day #i've been dealing with burnout/fatigue/general adhd shit for a few years and its not good for my productivity #i got a giant stash of energy drinks going tho #my walmart not only has a shit ton of the yummy halloween flavor from alani nu (not sponsored) but they stocked SO MANY cherry slushes #i'm set for a good 2 weeks. #HOWEVER if i shut my store down now.. then a few of my pieces are probably going to be removed since theyre my annual redraws #theyre not super popular pieces in my store but.. what if someone wants one?

[stinkrascal]

im almost at a follower milestone........!!!!!!!!!

#and also its almost 4 am but that part isnt important no the follower milestone however thats neat #jumps for joy #idk what i'll do for it maybe another sim dump but those are kinda annoying to put together so maybe not #maybe i'll just give all my followers a high five one by one i hope that suffices #thanks for idek how many years of antics it has been ! and trust me it has Been alright ! #love it here love u guys!! #i wrote straud legacy stuff all day today it was fun! i missed my strauds so much wow #anyways gn xo

[donnieluvsthings]

dear father vs im with you……….augh

#i finally listened to dear father again after looping im with you for the past however many days its been since the update came out #‘im not even that invested in sage’ i say before getting highly invested in her two songs #donnie speaks #sonic frontiers spoilers #sth sage #sonic frontiers

[leafsleclerc]

dewey out of the line up when. okay. anyways.

#i know its dependant on willy and i want willy back (if he’s healthy) so bad #and if it was game 1 i wouldve been like thats so fair #but bro #(none of this is at nicky btw i love him) #the 3rd and 4th lines have been grinding like a mfer #and it shows #listen if we’re honest id swap reavo for dewey even though i love reavo and how he fights he’s just made too many silly mistakes #also Obviously im biased in favour of dewey he’s my favourite player #i also genuinely believe that he has played well enough to stay in #however it is not a bad thing i just have Thoughts but a day off from playing should be restorative if he is scratched #leafs lb

[seaquestions]

help im likely to get into another roguelike deckbuilder. 😶‍🌫️😵‍💫 im creating two conditions now: 1) it has to be on sale, 2) i have to get A20 in spire.

#incoherent turtle noises #ive been watching baalor’s monster train runs and unfortunately it looks rly fun. like a weird tower defense card game. #aesthetically i didnt love the look of the game but ive warmed up to it over the course of uhhh #……however many stream vods its been now. #i also played a bit of inscryption the other day bcos i bought it a whiiiile ago and didnt get round to it #and it showed me that somehow i cant do basic ass 1+1 type math when it rly counts #but that game’s more of a narrative experience aint it. still a card battler though

[wyllsravengard]

my life is so cyclical. i find a hobby. i write self insert fanfiction for it. the cycle continues. how long? who knows. until i die perhaps!

#my goodness... #before that it was bandom self insert which is also still in the world and some have hundreds of notes. MEGA CRINGE so i just dont look #but good lord i have been participating actively in fandom as a writer for QUITE some time #like specifically as a tumblr self insert writer this place is my asylum #whats like genuinely wild to me was that i used to have mutuals and followers in all of those eras. the writing was so ass like fkdjhgjkdff #i follow my friend from bandom days on insta lol she does graphic design and i love her #I FOLLOW MULTIPLE PEOPLE OF THAT ERA ACTUALLY ? #i know this is fairly common but idk in my head ive only been active in fandom for like 2/3 years. not. however long this was. #like a lot of writers have Years of Experience in fandom esp on here its part of the diagnosis for many LMAO #i think its just my adhd time blindness thing that continuously makes it shocking for me. i didnt know i was alive that long #i literally gained consciousness maybe last year

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 8

“Cosmo Canyon" by Nobuo Uematsu for Final Fantasy VII

#song of the day #sliiiightly cheating as kaylithographica reminds me we haven't actually heard this in its entirety in the game quite yet #but it's one of the songs I enjoy most and I do love Red and we did make it to Cosmo Canyon today #I've been talking mostly about game progress in my tag babbles these last however many days but I have a sillier project as well #as I watch the game I've been going through my bookmarks and drafts and notes to myself and organizing things #it keeps my hands busy and it is a project I try to undertake every spring-ish so I was about due anyway #and I am very proud of myself because I have taken my 'deal with later' bookmarks from nearly 2000 down to a mere 800 #a pittance! #(a lot of them I just shuffled to different better-organized folders but still! all progress is progress) #my tumblr drafts is also well over 1000 but it's also much better organized #once I finish with it I'll dump it all into the queue and probably it'll be hmm. #spitball math says probably 800 into the queue and 200odd to otherwise deal with #that's 80 days of queue at the current pace which also seems roughly correct #the post that came out yesterday that talked about queue lengths was four months after I first saw it but it was otherwise delayed #my queue stopped while I was sick in December and again while I voyaged in January and I think for work a few times before that #so I am in accordance to my own rough yearly rhythms still mostly on top of things!

[berrymeter]

i have a doctor appointment today :D thank fuck

#perth.txt #was worried it wouldnt be possible to get a dr appt on the same day its being made but it was! possible! #my ear has been hurting so much for the past four days ive had many thoughts of violence i cant lie #violence did nothing however. bit down on my arm really hard & yea nothing

[may8elle]

So according to currently and actively-updating numbers (as of 5 May, when I’m writing this), AEW: All In set for Wembley just crossed 70,000 tickets sold- assuming everyone shows up, they’ve just outpaced WWE’s Clash at the Castle (2022), whose attendance was just over 60k

And they just opened up more seats in the arena, as well- meaning if they somehow manage to keep pace with their current sales and everyone shows up, they could- maybe, just maybe- outpace 1992′s SummerSlam, whose attendance (according to WWE) was barely over 80k. (I doubt they open up all the seats, as that would put people behind the stage and whatnot so I’m not holding my breath on that one- but we’ll definitely see)

I PERSONALLY don’t like to pit the companies against each other- friendly rivalry is fine, the animosity of the fans choosing one side over another and shitting on/berating the other side just isn’t cool and definitely not for me. I like parts of both companies and both brands, etc etc. This is just a super important moment to talk about in the Pro Wrestling Ecosphere simply because it’s the first company outside of WWE to do numbers like that anywhere in the UK/Europe. It’s especially impressive because AEW is such a new company and new product. 

#aew #all elite wrestling #yes yes aew has been around for 4 years now #and in the day and age of streaming its a lot easier to reach wider audiences and be more popular blah blah #HOWEVER #Impact never did this #ROH never did this #NJPW hasn't really crested that either #(NJPW's Royal Quest (their first UK show) only had around 6k in attendance) #And these are companies who have been around longer and have tried to use streaming to their advantages- obviously with varying results #The fact that this is happening and that so many tickets have been sold so far (scalpers or otherwise) is such a huge huge ordeal #And I'm tired of WWE diehards trying to deny that it IS a big deal #I love WWE- i grew up watching it and its what got me into wrestling after all- so don't get me wrong on this #I'm NOT an AEW defender- if AEW fucks something up I'll call them out on it the same way I would if WWE fucked something up #THE POINT is that it's the ONLY company OUTSIDE of WWE to have ever done this and that is HUGE #Regardless of whether or not you want to admit it- it's a big deal #may talks wrestling #all in

[carmenlire]

I hate my job. forget all the usual complaints about people telling me they don't have inboxes while logged into gmail and the website they need to go to is actually an email address but I just.

I was helping this guy and it was just a regular interaction, with him being moderately annoying as is usual. well at the end of me scanning his papers he, out of nowhere says "wow ur so beautiful." and in my head I'm just yelling fuck!!!! because whyyyyy do men do this shit, especially when I'm at work like u r nothing but a customer to me and I will happily forget you the second I walk away. and ofc tonight my manager is working and she's like 5 feet away at the computer desk so like double fml. it's just so awkward and I feel so put on the spot and gross, you know?

well I just say thank you and take a step back (because again the interaction is done) and he doesn't take a hint but instead goes on to ask me if I have a boyfriend. I just say no and walk away.

and coworkers always say I should just lie and say yes but 1) I'm very weird about lying even as an adult and 2) something in me just resists saying I have a boyfriend so much. I'd (almost??) rather say I have a girlfriend but obviously i'm not doing that at work. idk it's almost like it feels more dishonest to say yes i have a boyfriend? but also i said no take a hint!

he didn't take a hint. he called me back over by saying he needed help with something else, which whatever, but no!! he said "u said no what does that mean. do you have a man or not" and again my manager is right there and it's so quiet in the library and i just said no again. and he pressed me AGAIN and finally i just said "i'm not having this conversation with you" and inside i was shaking? hmm that may be too much but i was just so deeply uncomfortable. and the minute i said that i feel like he got pissed-- and i saw my manager whip her head over to me. i just walked away and went to the workroom and my manager came in a few minutes later and was extremely supportive.

i just feel so gross about it all. why do men do this at work?? where i can't escape?? where my customer service rebels against the very idea of being firm or doing anything that a customer could view negatively even if rationally i know that me and my wellbeing? my sense if self? comes first (even if i know it isn't that deep).

tonight was the first time i've said no and walked away and also the first time i said point blank i'm not having this conversation. it felt good even if doing so was almost unbearably embarrassing? i was sitting in the back after my manager talked to me and i just felt. . . embarrassed.

and i KNOW this is wrong but i feel so self conscious like- do i dress provocatively at work? is it my fault? are coworkers judging me for my appearance like i'm inviting this to happen, like i want men to hit on me? i wanna ask a coworker if they think i should dress more conservatively but i was literally wearing black dress pants, a black sweater, and loafers. but were my clothes too tight? am i a complete unprofessional?

and then the whole queer thing is an entirely separate dimension. i tweet about it to vent when it happens but just-- the idea that men perceive me in such a way, especially when i am never aware of it, when i am doing nothing to cater to them, just makes me so uneasy. every time a guy hits on me at work i feel betrayed almost? like we are just customer service worker and customer. i literally dislike 99% of all people i talk to at work. and when they do this it just makes me feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and the question of boyfriend just kinda makes my skin crawl.

#i know it isnt that deep #a guy hit on me at work #this is by far the ffirst time #idk i feel like im spiraling a bit over it #part of it was that he was so fucking pushy and i actually pushed back #bc i usually play the gane abd kindly say no i dont want their number #but i have been pissed all day and him doing that just irritated me so deeply i was able to be #confident enough to just shut him down but then he didnt take no as an answer! #plus my manager was there which definitely made it worse #and idk... its just weird when guys hit on me in general bc i have so many issues with being wanted (however much its just a cheap hit) #and all that jazz... like me? literally why lol im so painfully not attractive why is a stranger doing this rn.... #whatever i just got home and am ginna read a txt fic to decompress #me

[aro-aizawa]

sighs in contentment......

#shut up danni's talking #hi yes i always feel happy as FUCK when i read a v long fic but doubly so when i realise that i caught up before the end #i have spend idk how long maybe 4/5 days reading a 700k+ word fic #w only two more chapters left and i just. oh BOY #i cannot even begin to get into all the details i adore about this fic #and yes i am absolutely talking abt mortified #i spent the majority of the time listening to it via text to speech while playing mindless games #but when i got to the parts i hadn't read before (like the last 50 chaps i think) i had to give it my full attention #i just. there is so much i love. #it just adds so many aspects of world building that feels so right that its almost unnatural when i see things that goes against it #i just. #also theres no shortage of pride in there too bc wow 700k words in under a week? deffo good #HOWEVER my goal w listening to it rather than reading was hopefully something that'd take longer #considering how i read faster than it takes to speak things alas i'll have to wait for chapters again which is weird #i have been behind on it for so long #i have this mega word doc summarising the fic that i was working on to help me keep up w plot threads #and im not joking abt the mega its mammoth and i gave up in parts #i'll probs work on it as i reread it again at some point #its deffo smth i'm gonna share when its done bc i it is LONG and i know ppl don't have as much time as i do #but i want the opportunity for ppl to not balk at the size of the fic to not even attempt to read it #or if they want to read it but can only read a chapter a day so they'll need a reminder #one of the things i'll always be thankful for in fanfics is when ppl bookmark fics with a summary of the plot #its just. its reassuring to me to know vaguely what's going to happen #esp bc some plot elements will always instantly call to me #i can't begin to tell you how many fics i've ebbed and erred on but were ultimately swayed by bookmarkers' summaries #also i like to reread seconds of fics if i don't reread the whole thing #so knowing where those sections are located is v v helpful #anyways thats my lil fan project for mortified lol #always get a lil flustered when i interact w the author bc WOW the skill????? the dedication??? always a lil in awe #now to zone out and stare at my ceiling trying to process that masterpiece

[worldchampionpeccobagnaia]

without question bautista would make out with toprak if he thought he'd be up for it

#rea would too i think but bautista be staring too long at topraks mouth fr #everytime theyrre together on the podium bautista looking at toprak as if thats his whole world #and theyve come a *little* too close to kissing multiple times to have it be a coincidence #bautista really is just a dad fr #going 2 bed now good night its been a long however many days with like 8 hours sleep total <3

[always-a-joyful-note]

@catkin-morgs Yessss....from what I recall of the snippets I managed to find + some of the Road to Yesterday's shorts (some of which I did read...and I may have read them all but I cannot for the life of me remember, given that I read them all out of order), it definitely is a more dark and slightly more anti-war book. I believe I managed to find said snippets online through google books, a few blog posts here and there (which a quick google search seems to offer), and a lot of desperation that I think may have opened gateways into unknown and unreturnable (not a word, sadly) waters

Also thank you very much!! I quite like my username as well, for unspecified reason ;). And your username is fun, as well (anything with cat or some animal in it wins for me)!

#well that was a rambly reply post... #and yes as you will find dear op...i am one who abhors the like button and does not use the reply feature #(abhors and doesnt use as in i like keeping all blogs separate i quite like the like XD) #so of course youre welcome to just dm or request i delete this #but man if i could just get my hands on the book again..... #alas however i suppose ill have to check my library again now that ive been reminded of its existence #also i am VERY flattered that you like my username #i am someone who cant help but preen at even the simplest of compliments so this made my dad #*day.... #hmm....interesting typo #in any case thank you very much for the reply! im glad to have found a fellow anne fan! #note's nonsense #edit: also you have been forewarned i put these many tags sometimes more like....every other post its an issue #even bigger issue because i currently have 80something reblog drafts someone please send help....

[motherboardmania]

what is up tspin nation!!!

#sillywacky #scientific sillies #im not putting oc tags on this sorry #WARNING FOR. LONG RAMBLE IN TAGS #guess who JUST started hir entry an hour ago. over 40 hours after the challenge was announced #and i had multiple hours to start. and i just didnt because my brain didnt want to yet #it is five in the morning. i got the script done at least and its gonna be fun to draw. but Hooooly shit #i have GOT to start working on entries earlier!!!! #duality of denver. challenge 1 gets announced and i start immediately. finish entire entry (with many distractions) within 12 hours #or. alternatively. challenge 2 gets announced. i wait 40 hours before even starting. and draw on whiteboard with friends instead during tha #ILL BE OK DW. IVE BEEN SLEEPING. just not at normal times #and im more excited to draw so now that i have the script done it will be smooth sailing #However. I must sleep soon. im going to be working on this entry all day today when i wake up. but its gonna be fun