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askablindperson · 1 month

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Hello, I am a writer who wants to write about a character with Lebers Congenital Amaurosis, and I’ve been struggling to find resources or descriptions on what vision is like for people with that condition. If you’re okay with it, could you describe what vision is like for you? Thank you and have a wonderful day! And sorry if you’ve already been asked this a million times.

Hi! Thank you for asking, and I would be glad to answer. I know what you mean, too. LCA is still somewhat common in the blind community, but I have also found quite a lack of resources to explain how it works to other folks. LCA is rarely included in any of those blindness simulation filters, either, though those also aren’t perfect representations.

A quick disclaimer: most of what I will share here is based on my own personal experience as well as the other blind people with LCA I have personally met in the trends I have observed in the community. I’m not a medical professional though, and I really don’t know that much about how these things pan out statistically Speaking.

First, one thing you should know is that LCA is progressive. It tends to be very slow and steady about it, and it took me 10 years to notice that I had had a significant change in vision which I only fully noticed in the last few months, but it is progressive, so it will inevitably get worse over a person’s lifetime. It just might take its sweet time getting there, and you won’t notice any overnight changes. at least not in the folks I’ve known, or in myself, or in most of the literature I’ve seen discussing it. There may be outliers though that I am less aware of.

The other thing I will say is that most of the other blind folks I have known with LCA actually have significantly less vision than I do, usually being born with little more than light perception and often losing what’s left of that light perception within their first few years of childhood. so a lot of them are totally blind as adults, or still only have light and shadow perception.

As for mine, at least in my experience, I seem to be somewhat of an outlier in LCA, in that I’m quite a high partial case. I believe I’ve been at least legally blind since birth, meaning my visual acuity was at least 20/200 or worse with some visual field issues also, but I’ve always had quite a lot more residual vision than most of the other folks with LCA I have met personally. Not all of them though. When I was a young child, my visual acuity was probably around the 20/200 Marc, but now at 27, my better eye is at about 20/650 and the worst eye is somewhere in the ballpark of 20/5000. Don’t ask me how they can even measure it when it gets that severe lol.

In practical terms, the way I have always described my vision is that it’s a lot like looking through a fogged up mirror when you get out of the shower, a foggy window in the winter, or the super blurred out background in a movie. You can make out plenty of shapes and colors and lights, and you can get a vague sense of what a lot of objects might be, but there is no detail and it’s extremely blurred out. if you happen to wear glasses, I often say that it’s like a lot of folks without their glasses on, but amped up to 11, and that’s even WITH my glasses. Without them, it’s even blurrier, though I don’t really wear glasses much anymore.

That description is in reference to my better eye, mind you. The worst one is so much worse that I can rarely make out actual objects with it or even silhouettes of people. It’s still colorful and everything, but the blurriness is significantly worse to the point that the eye isn’t really useful.

For me personally, as I have gotten older, my central vision has actually deteriorated a little bit faster than my peripheral vision, so I can ironically see a little clearer out of the corners of my eyes then I can looking straight ahead. I don’t know how common this is amongst folks with LCA, especially since most of the folks I know only have light and shadow perception where it’s harder to measure that, But that’s how it is for mine. It wasn’t like that as a child, I would have considered my central and peripheral vision to be fairly similar most of my life, but in the last 10 years, my central vision is noticeably worse now than my peripheral. if I look at a ceiling light through the corner of my eye, and then shift my eye so I’m looking at that same ceiling light to the center of my eye, it is instantly blurrier, like a little foggy film was put over it.

Also, at least for me, I have quite a few blind spots in my vision that impact my overall visual field. Contrary to what those vision loss simulation filters will have you believe though, those are not represented by black spots or white spots in real life. They’re just gone. Think of it sort of like Photoshopping somebody out of a picture. If they are standing in your blind spot, it’s not that there’s a blob over top of them, it’s as if that section of the picture was just cut out, and the two halves around it smashed together as if that part was never there. It’s just missing.

In actuality, everybody has a blind spot, even people with no vision problems whatsoever, so you may be able to get a better understanding of this by researching the general Blindspot that everyone has. I just have more of them because pieces of my retina have completely deteriorated and died off from my disorder.

The discussion of central versus peripheral vision and the blind spots applies to both of my eyes, but like above, just a lot more severe in the eye that’s worse. It’s not quite to the point where it only has light and shadow perception, but it’ll probably get there in the next 10 years or so. I’ve never leaned very heavily on that eye because it’s always been the much weaker one, but these days it is a little bit funny to see just how wildly different the exam for my right eye is compared to my left eye nowadays.

Lastly though, that does finish up the description of what my vision actually looks like, but I do want to leave you with one final note of consideration, which is not to focus overly hard on exactly what your character sees when writing them. At the end of the day, most of us who have been blind our entire lives don’t really go about our days actively paying attention to exactly what we can see and what we can’t, or thinking about what things look like through our eyes at that moment in time. We’re just living our lives with the vision we have, because we were born this way so it’s our normal, and sometimes focusing on it too much in the writing can cloud the characterization more than it helps.

All of that said, I do hope that this provides a useful framework. Mostly, my vision is just ridiculously blurry and really only gets a tiny bit less blurry with glasses, with a few holes punched here and there for good measure lol. To be honest, when I’m spending time with other blind people, we don’t actually usually spend all that much time describing exactly what each other’s vision looks like to each other or anything—it’s usually not exactly the most interesting thing we want to talk about—so I don’t know how common my specific details are to others with LCA. But that’s pretty much the long and short of my personal experience, and hopefully it can be useful when understanding your character.

#ask a blind person #actually blind #ActuallyBlind #writing blind characters #Leber congenital amaurosis #blind #blindness #writing disabled characters

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ericspinkhair · 3 years

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unexpectedly becoming a sugar baby

pairing: ceo!sunwoo x fem!reader

word count: 3.4k

synopsis: reader is desperate for money so she has sex with her boss

warnings: lots of oral and fingering, use of vibrator in public , office sex, sex for money

a/n: wrote this yesterday instead of studying for my final. the exam went well tho :) also please send in requests!!!

masterlist + requests

to say you were desperate would be an understatement. today you had received an eviction notice that stated that you had exactly 30 days to either pay back all the money you owed your landlord or leave your apartment.

due to your mother's illness you had to pay for all her medical bills. your father hadn't been in the picture for a long time so you alone were responsible for your mother's health. you couldn't just let her die. but because of all these costs you hadn't been able to pay your rent and now you were on the verge of homelessness.

never in a lifetime did you imagine that you would be begging someone for help. you felt so helpless that you honestly didn't really care how you got the money.

you decided to ask your boss for a raise and were prepared to work your ass off in order to get it.

mr. kim's office was on the fourth floor of the company, one you barely had ever been to. normal employees were usually only to be found on the lower floors so taking the elevator up felt wrong.

you were determined, however, to not let your pride get in the way. the money was more important than how you felt.

you knocked on the door twice. as if to make you feel even more nervous, it seemed like mr. kim waited extra long to respond.

when you entered he was sitting behind his desk. he didn't even look up at you so you just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do.

'why don't you just sit?' he finally asked annoyed and closed his laptop.

you quickly took a seat and tried to put up a professional front.

'what can I do for you, um…' 'y/n,' you helped him out. 'right, y/n. what can I do for you?' he asked.

'I would like to ask for a raise, sir. you see, I am usually the first employee to enter the building and also most of the time the last one to leave. I do my work reliably and deliver solid results. my coworkers are pleased with me and we also get along well. I think I contribute a lot to this company and wanted to ask whether it would be possible to raise my pay.' you really tried to not make it seem like you had simply memorized all of this and forced yourself to speak slowly but firmly while looking him in the eyes.

mr. kim didn't respond at first but opened his laptop.

'to my understanding you have been working here for a very long time already. your pay is already the highest it can get. there is no way for me to raise it because there is no room for improvement.' he sighed and waited for your reaction.

you started sweating. this wasn't going as planned. you hadn't known that you were already receiving the highest pay. you were barely able to afford food with your current money.

'please, sir. I will do anything you ask of me. I don't care how many extra hours I'd have to work. I can do it. I promise. please give me a chance,' you begged him.

he was intrigued by you. why were you so desperate for the money?

'first, why don't you tell me why you are so keen on a raise?'

was your boss even allowed to ask you such personal questions? you answered anyway.

'my mother has cancer. I am the only person paying for her medical expenses and the treatments are all very expensive. I am about to get evicted because I cannot pay my rent.'

he seemed to be deep in thought. his gaze on you was intense.

your heart skipped a beat when he placed his hand on yours.

'y/n, I'm extremely sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience the same thing. believe me when I tell you that I want to help you. you know what? come back tomorrow. I have an idea how I might be able to help but I need to think about it further. would that be alright for you?'

it felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. you didn't care about what you had to do. you stood up, bowed deeply and thanked him over and over.

he let out a deep chuckle. you were cute.

the next day you came back again in the afternoon. this time he answered the door quicker and his attention was focused on you from the start. the energy felt much different than the day before. he seemed excited and was smiling at you. this had to mean good news, right? he shook your hand and pressed firmly while looking you deep in the eyes.

'y/n, I came up with an idea to help you. but it is less conventional and it depends on how much you are willing to do.'

'mr. kim, I will do anything,' you assured him. the smirk he flashed you threw you off guard.

'okay then. first, I'd prefer it if you called me sunwoo as we'll be seeing more of each other if you were to agree.'

this lowkey felt like crossing some boundaries but you wanted to please him.

you nodded eagerly. 'okay, sunwoo it is.'

'so my idea is that there are certain things you can do to earn money. I will pay for everything with my own savings and you will receive it in cash. we will start off easy and over time I'll add new tasks. of course, you have the freedom to choose whether you want to do them or not. that is completely up to you.'

the look of confusion on your face must have told him you didn't fully understand.

'it's hard to explain. I'd rather you figure it out by trying it. since today is friday, the task I'll give you is for monday. I would like to choose an outfit for you. I'll send it to your apartment and you have to wear exactly what is inside the box. if you were to do this I'd give you $20 cash.'

that was a weird request. why would he want to decide what you were wearing? did he not like your outfit? did you look disgusting?

'let me get this straight. you pick an outfit for me and if I decide to wear it I get money?' you ask him to see if you had understood correctly.

'exactly. that doesn't seem so bad, right?' you shook your head. it was whatever.

'that's great. you'll receive your outfit and I can't wait to see you in it on monday.' you didn't know if you were imagining it but it seemed like he was eyeing your body. h god, he definitely didn't like what you were wearing.

$20 wasn't much but still more than nothing. and apparently the other tasks would be worth more. guess you had to start somewhere. with the money you could at least afford something to eat.

you say goodbye and continued with work until it was time to leave.

you waited anxiously all weekend for the clothes. sunday you decided to go for a walk and when you opened your door you almost tripped over a package.

on monday morning you tried on the outfit sunwoo had picked out for you.

the white blouse was a bit see through and a bit too tight around the boob area but looked neat otherwise. the black skirt hugged your curves perfectly and made you look quite sexy in your opinion. he even picked out a bra, underwear, stockings and high heels for you. the note he had left clearly stated to wear exactly and only what was in the box. so you did.

you usually wore something more simple and loose but you didn't feel too uncomfortable in this look.

when you entered his office his eyes lit up.

'I'm glad you wore this. it looks very good on you.'

you were sure you blushed a bit at his words. you weren't really used to receiving compliments from men.

'I like it too,' you admit. sunwoo smiled contentedly.

'so would you like to do the same tomorrow? I'll send you another outfit,' he asked you.

this one wasn't bad at all so you agreed. he handed you $20. when you stood up and walked out the door he couldn't stop admiring the way your butt looked in the skirt. tomorrow was going to be even better.

the blouse was almost the same one. however, this time the skirt was a lot shorter. it ended at the middle of your thighs. but that wasn't even the weirdest thing. this time he had forgotten to send you panties.

you felt very unsure what to do. the note clearly stated to only wear what was in the box.

you sighed and pulled down the skirt as much as you could. this would have to do. as long as you were just sitting, everything would be fine.

you went about your day and some time in the afternoon you were called into sunwoo's office.

you were wondering whether or not to tell him about the missing underwear but decided to keep your mouth closed. panties didn't seem to be a topic to talk about with your boss.

'today, I want to offer you an additional task. you will receive your $20 dollars for sure and you can make another 30 by cleaning my office. what do you think?' he proposed to you.

that would be $50 in total. you needed all the money you could get.

'of course. just tell me what to clean and I will be happy to help.'

everything was going according to sunwoo's plan. he was excited and told you you could start by dusting the shelves.

your eagerness was cute and he watched you out of the corner of his eyes.

some of the shelves were higher up so you had to stretch to be able to reach them. when you did your skirt rolled up higher and he was able to see the just the outline of your butt cheeks. he unconsciously licked his lips.

for the rest of the week you continued these two tasks. but you noticed that the underwear kept on missing and the skirts also progressively became shorter.

this was a struggle when you were cleaning and organizing his office. you were aware of your skirt rolling up and you were hoping that sunwoo wouldn't notice.

of course he did. that had been his intention all along. when you bent down he could sometimes get a glance at your pretty pussy. he couldn't help but get hard at the sight of this and palmed his bulge through his pants.

in one week you had received $220. you would have been more happy if you hadn't gotten another bill from the hospital asking you for another $1200. the health care system was simply fucked up. whatever the next tasks were, you had to do them.

on monday you were cleaning his office again. you wanted to pick up some files but you struggled reaching them from the highest shelf. you felt your skirt roll up again.

'wait. I'll help you,' sunwoo announced and walked over.

you gasped as you felt something hard poke your thigh as he stood behind you to reach for the files. when he took a step back you saw the clear outlines of his hardened cock.

unable to hide your surprise, sunwoo laughed.

'this is all your doing.' so he did notice your skirt roll up. wait. had he given you these clothes with this in mind?

'do you want to touch it?' he asked.

you just blinked at him. what? were you perhaps still dreaming? it was possible that you were having a wet dream about your boss. sunwoo was very handsome and you had to be blind not to notice.

'if you help me get rid of it, I'll promise you $100.' he knew you were thinking hard. you couldn't keep your eyes off his bulge, clearly not sure what to think of this.

this was against all the work protocols but you would kid yourself if you said that you didn't want to. not only was he very attractive but you'd do a lot for a mere $100.

you reached for his belt. sunwoo smirked; he had won.

you pulled his pants down and were immediately greeted with his veiny cock.

'you aren't the only one not wearing any underwear, my dear y/n.'

so that had been intentional. interesting. you realized you must have been very naive to have believed that he had simply forgotten to put panties in the boxes.

you started by rubbing the tip softly with your thumb. it was pretty and pink and already leakined pre-cum.

you felt strangely good about having this kind of effect on someone. with a few pumps his dick was completely hard.

sunwoo propped his hands on the desk behind him and leaned back in bliss.

deep moans were escaping his beautifully luscious lips while you were pleasuring him with your hands.

you decided to put your left hand you use as well by massaging his balls.

'fuck! when did you learn to do this so well?' sunwoo groaned.

during high school you had had a lot of sex. it made you feel good and you enjoyed it. now your experience turned out to be lifesaving to you. well, he'd probably pay you even if you weren't as mind blowing.

'hmm, practice,' you simply state.

'if this is already so good I wonder what your mouth can do, baby girl.' being called that aroused you way more than expected. this was so exciting.

'I'll give you another $100 if you suck me off.'

before sunwoo knew it you had already wrapped your lips around his cock. you skillfully bobbed your head up and down. when you looked up at him with big eyes he swore he was about to explode.

with most of the dick in your mouth your other hand was continuing to knead his balls.

he was coming close quickly and grabbed your hair so you would stay still.

he proceeded to fuck your mouth harshly. you felt spit running down the sides of your lips and tears escaping your eyes as he buried his cock deep in your mouth. you tried to relax in order to deep-throat him properly.

he came hard and emptied his load in your mouth. to prove a point, you swallowed it and then opened up to show him.

panting hard he said: 'fuck you're just amazing!'

you looked absolutely delicious with your face full of cum. he had a good feeling you were the right person to do this with.

you licked off some of the white liquid from your lips and smirked at him.

this was definitely not what you had expected what you would be doing but you weren't one to complain.

sunwoo quickly disappeared to search for some paper towels to clean your face. his employees couldn't see you like this.

after your face was clean again he handed you $250. 'you deserve it.' 'thanks.'

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and leaned closer. 'maybe we can do more tomorrow.' ooh, sounds exciting.

'then I'll look forward to seeing you.' with a wink you left.

you wondered how much money you would get for some sexy time with your boss.

the next morning, you couldn't fully button up the blouse he had sent you. the top buttons had to be left open and a lot of cleavage was visible. this horndog!

this time you actually received some underwear but only for a special reason. you found a pink mini vibrator in the box as well.

so you were walking around with a vibrating stick up your pussy. you didn't want to come in front of your co-workers so you turned it off whenever you got too close and waited to calm down.

'did you have fun today?' was the first thing sunwoo said to you.

you laughed ironically. 'I had so much fun pretending I wasn't being masturbating in front of everyone…'

he made you turn around and lifted up your skirt. the outline of the vibrator was visible and he could see your panties shaking.

with one quick move he pulled your underwear down and took the vibrator to turn it off. it came out with a wet plop and juices were running down your thighs.

sunwoo surprised you by sucking on the wet vibrator.

'sit on the desk,' he commanded you.

you did as you were told and sunwoo spread your legs wide apart.

he inserted his index and middle finger which slipped in with ease. your pussy made wet noises as he pushed them in and out of you.

finally having privacy you allowed yourself to make sounds. he made intense eye contact while fingering you, loving the way your face was scrunched up in pleasure.

you wrapped your arms around his neck and started kissing him. his tongue easily won the fight over dominance and started exploring your mouth.

you two were basically just sucking each others faces off until he broke off the kiss and lowered his body. he attached his mouth to your clit and started sucking. you pulled at his hair in pleasure and had a hard time controlling your breathing. damn, he was skilled at this as well.

when he felt you clenching around his fingers he withdrew them and you let out a disappointed noise of protest.

'don't worry. you'll have more soon.', he laughed at you. he quickly took off his pants and pulled you off the desk. he turned you around so your ass was facing him.

he started rubbing his thick cock between your ass cheeks and coated it in your juices. every time he got into contact with your tense pussy a shudder overcame your body.

he lifted your leg and placed your foot on the table. the angle from when he thrusted into you from behind was just perfect.

sunwoo attached his lips onto your neck and started leaving hickeys there. at the same time he was kneading your breast through your shirt.

he had barely ever felt such a perfect pussy around his cock. the way you took him in seemed too good to be true.

while his dick was still inside you, he lifted you up and placed you on all fours on the floor.

he grabbed your hips so tightly that he left red marks on them. at this point, he was just uncontrollably slamming into you while you were losing your mind. you were screaming his name loudly, glad that you knew no one could hear you.

as you could feel both of you getting close, he pulled your upper body up to his chest and wrapped one hand around your neck.

the pressure he applied was just enough for you to see stars but not enough for it to be unpleasant.

the lack of oxygen stimulated your senses even more and while repeatedly screaming out sunwoo's name you finally came hard on his dick.

with a few more thrusts, sunwoo's hips started stuttering as well and he shot his load into you. while riding out your highs he was just fucking his cum right back into you.

when he finally pulled out, a pool of his semen started dripping out of you. you suddenly felt so empty. his thick cock had filled you up so good that you were already missing it.

while you were still catching your breath on the floor, sunwoo had gone to get paper towels.

when he came back, however, he seemed hectic.

'I'm so sorry. there has been an emergency and I need to leave right now. I'll leave these here as well as the money.' he placed everything on the desk and walked back to the door.

he turned around one last time. 'I hope we can do this again.' he smiled at you.

you later saw that he had left you $750.

kind of becoming a sugar baby had never been your plan but you didn't mind it. if only the circumstances had been better.

#kim sunwoo smut #kim sunwoo scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #the boyz sunwoo smut #the boyz sunwoo scenario #kim sunwoo #smut #kpop smut #the boyz

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Riding High

Ch21: The Truth ‘Bill’ Out…

Chapter Summary: Fliss and Frank both struggle to deal with the aftermath of their break up.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Ok, I’m sorry I upset you with the last chapter…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

Take a shot in the rain, one for the pain, and listen up

Frank woke the next morning fully clothed on the sofa. Squinting, he groaned at the pain in his head, scrambling to find his phone. As he swiped it to cancel his alarm, his thumb paused as he glanced at the photo of Fliss and Mary on the screen. Swallowing he turned the screen off, tossed his phone onto the table and pushed himself up, trudging to the shower.

He had spent most of the night drinking the expensive scotch his mother had bought him, trying to understand what had happened. He had tried to call Fliss, messaged her but her response had been a single text telling him she was sorry and requesting that he respect her decision. The worst thing had been trying to explain to Mary. Frank didn't believe in lying to her, certainly not if he could help it, but he had completely chickened out and told her that Fliss had some paperwork to do and would be staying at the annex for the night. Mart had accepted this, and it had bought him enough time to figure out what the fuck he was going to say.

He stumbled into the shower and then decided that the state his head was in he wasn't going to function in work. So once he was dried and had awoken Mary, he called his supervisor and said he had a migraine so wouldn't be in. He then made Mary a sandwich and then once she was packed off on the bus he turned and headed back home.

Once in the living room he looked around. It was littered with reminders of her. Photos, a hoody draped over the back of the chair, those fucking scatter cushions on the sofa. It was screaming at Frank to get rid if it all, but he couldn't. Not yet. He was still clinging to something desperate hope that she would come back, explaining what had happened and they'd work through it.

And then there was a knock at the door. He paused for a moment, before it opened and a familiar voice called his name.

"Frank? Son?"

He turned to face Bill as he walked through the door.

"She sent you for her stuff?" Frank asked and Bill eyed him for a moment before he shook his head.

"No. She hasn't. And, well even if she asked me to come get it I wouldn't...this is her mess, not mine."

Frank looked at him for a moment before he shrugged and headed into the kitchen grabbing the coffee from the cupboard.

"So what are you here for, Bill?"

"Honestly?" Bill raised his eyebrows, "to see how you were..."

"Fucking marvellous." Frank said, slamming the cupboard shut. "M’girlfriend's left me, giving me no reason, I'm hungover to shit and at some point today I gotta figure out what I tell Mary."

He leaned back against the kitchen counter and pinched his nose before he scrubbed his hand down his face.

"How is she?" Frank looked at Bill. Bill sighed and shook his head.

"Hardly said a word since she came home yesterday evening." Bill shrugged. "Other than to tell she had ended things with you, that it was her decision and she wasn't going into it."

"She didn’t go into it with me either so..." Frank snorted, shaking his head. "So if you've come to find out what’s going on I can't help you because I don’t know."

"No, honestly Frank...I meant it when I said I came to see how you were. V and I were worried..."

Frank was about to shoot some sarcastic response back but when he saw Bill's face was arranged with genuine concern he simply shrugged and looked down, shaking his head.

"I love her, Bill...and I thought things were going great. I just don't understand."

With a sigh Bill stepped forward and gripped Frank's shoulder.

"I'm really mad at her Frank." Bill sighed. "But I know she’s hurting too...don't give up on her. Not just yet."

Frank scratched at his head as Bill released his grip on his shoulder. "She made it quite clear she doesn’t want to see me or talk to me.”

"She doesn’t know what she wants" Bill shook his head. "All am asking is that you at least try to talk to her."

"I need time too, Bill." Frank sighed. "I'm angry and upset myself. I can't face her yet. It’s gonna be bad enough taking Mary up to see Monty..."

"I know." Bill nodded. “And if you ever want me to take Mary instead so you don’t have to, certainly for the time being, I'm happy to do so."

Frank nodded. “Thanks Bill."

"Well you know where to find me." Bill shrugged as he took a deep breath. “Look, you know me and Verity love you and Mary, we really do. Verity’s besides herself at the possibility you’re not gonna be in our lives again, and-“

He trailed off and Frank saw a flicker of worry flash across the older man's face.

"Bill..." Frank shook his head gently. "I'll not stop you and Verity seeing Mary. As long as you're happy to do so. I just, well I just don’t want it to be awkward for you and Fliss, meaning there's to be a point later where you leave her life too. She’s had enough turmoil over the last twelve months to last a lifetime ..."

"No I get that." Bill nodded. “And thanks Frank. You're a good man."

Frank nodded and Bill gave him another small smile before he turned and headed out.

***** Mary didn’t take the news brilliantly, as Frank had anticipated. She’d teared up and asked Frank why Fliss wanted to leave them, to which Frank had answered as honestly as he could, that he simply didn’t know but that it was nothing to do with her. And then she’d surprised him by saying, for the first time ever that she didn’t want to go to Roberta’s that night, but she wanted to stay with him. They ordered pizza and watched a film, huddled together on the sofa. She didn’t mention Fliss again other than to say she didn’t want to go for her riding lesson either the next day, instead saying she would go during the week. Out of courtesy more than anything Frank messaged Fliss to let her know. After an hour or so she replied simply to tell him that it was fine and she would make sure he was looked after.

Monday morning rolled around and Frank was glad of the distraction if he was honest, burying himself into his work. And during the day he was ok because his mind was busy but in the evening, after Mary had gone to bed and he himself was getting ready to hit the sack, he found himself simply staring at Fliss’s toothbrush and toiletries. Unable to look at them anymore he grabbed the various bottles of stuff belonging to her and placed them all in one of the wicker boxes held under the sink in the unit.

Tuesday evening he spent with Simon and Greg. Simon had heard from Bonnie what had happened when she had called Fliss. Simon informed Frank that Fliss had refused to talk to Bonnie about it and just asked the woman to leave it alone. They had a few beers, talked, it was a good distraction for a while but again once they left, Frank was alone with his thoughts and an aching in his chest.

And it wasn’t just his thoughts. It was the physical reminders. As well as the photos and cushions, there was the dog basket in the bedroom that belonged to Thor, when he decided to sleep on it and not Mary’s bed that is. Fliss’ favourite mug, the blue and gold shimmering wine glasses they’d bought at IKEA, her clothes in the fucking closet. Frank had no idea what he was supposed to do. Did he pack it up and take it to her, or wait for her to come and claim it?

Wednesday morning Mary told him she wanted to go and see Mary so Frank nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the one hand he was happy he’d at least get to see Fliss, maybe they could have a reasonable conversation but on the other he knew seeing her was going to tear him in two. He also was a little worried how Mary was going to react. He called Fliss, and unsurprisingly she didn’t pick up. But she did call him back a little after lunch.

“Hi.” he said, a little nervously as he answered.

“HI.” she replied quietly “I err, I had a call so…”

“Oh, yeah, erm, Mary wants to come up and see Monty so I wanted to make sure it was ok.” “Of course its ok.” she said gently, “Frank, I’d never stop her coming up to see her pony.”

“No I know that, I just…” Frank took a deep breath, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll see you later.” “Ok, erm, bye.” “Yeah, bye.”

He cut the call, his throat was dry and he felt like his heart was about to pound out through his chest. And that had been simply at the sound of her voice. It had been a week since he’d heard it and now it had knocked him for six. And suddenly he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her at all.

****** Fliss tossed her phone down and ran her hands over her face. She was tired. Since moving back into the annex she hadn’t been sleeping properly, having nightmares for the first time in almost a year. She wasn’t eating either and she was continually snapping at her parents too as they were crowding her she felt. Almost as much as when she had left Boston. She knew they were simply concerned, as was Bonnie but she just simply wanted to be left alone. She was hurting too, leaving Frank had killed her, it was the worst thing she had ever been through, worse than any beating John had inflicted on her.

She also knew at some point she was going to have to face him, go round and collect her stuff. Her mum and dad had made it quite clear they weren’t going to bail her out on that one, which was understandable she guessed. They were upset too, her dad especially as he was very close to Frank, and they both loved Mary as if she was their own grandchild.

It wasn’t just her own life or Frank’s she’d thrown into chaos, it was theirs too.

She wiped at her eyes, stood up and headed out into the late October sun, striding over to the paddock as she rolled her shoulder which was sore from the tumble out of bed she’d taken in the middle of the night. It was her dodgy shoulder, the one John had dislocated as part of one of his beatings, so she knew that was going to be troubling her for a good week or so now she’d jarred it again. But in some sick, twisted way she relished the pain. A physical manifesto of the agony she was feeling inside.

She had three clients that afternoon, so the time whizzed by and before she knew it it was half four and Mary would be arriving any second. She turned and headed into her office, trying to calm herself down, feeling her anxiety spiking. Thor, having sensed it, gently nuzzled his nose onto her lap as he always did and she sat for a quiet fifteen minutes simply breathing and stroking his soft head and ears, glad he was giving her something of a grounding. And then his ears pricked up as he caught the familiar sound of Frank’s truck and giving a low whine of excitement he shot off across the yard.

Taking a deep breath Fliss stood up and walked out of her office and saw Frank walking onto the main courtyard, Mary’s hand in his.

“HI…” Fliss greeted him a little tentatively, and he gave her a small smile, his eyes hidden behind his aviators.

“Hi.” he said gently.

“HI Mary.” Fliss looked at her and Mary glanced up, before she looked away.

“Hi.” she replied a little stiffly. Fliss swallowed and then took a deep breath.

“Do you want to ride today or…” “No.” Mary shook her head “Not with you.” “Mary.” Frank looked down at her “Remember what I said in the truck…”

Mary took a deep breath and looked down at her feet, her boots kicking at the slate gravel which covered the yard before she looked up at Fliss “I just want to do my jobs and brush him today.” “Okay, well, he’s in the pasture. Do you want me to come-“ “I’ll ask Joanna.” Mary said, as she let go of Frank’s hand.

“She’s in the back barn, tell her I sent you.” Mary didn’t reply, she simply headed off.

“She’s upset.” Frank explained as he watched her go. He turned to Fliss and shrugged “She’ll come round.”

Fliss gave him a small smile. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.” he shook his head “Think I’m gonna go with Stack, actually.” “Sure.” Fliss nodded, “I’ll be in the office. If she needs me or changes her mind about riding, just…” Frank gave her a tight smile again before he headed off.

Fliss watched him leave, claiming her hand over her mouth tightly before she pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing up her eyes to try and stem the tears which were threatening to come. Composing herself she turned and headed back into her office and started to busy herself with some lesson plans.

It was about forty minutes later when there was a knock at the door and Frank poked his head in.

“We’re gonna get off.” he said, “Do you want Monty back out or…”

“No, it’s fine.” she stood up “I’ll do it later once he’s been fed.” At that he nodded, turning to go.

“Is Mary ok?” Fliss asked and Frank stopped. He took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“What do you think?” Frank’s voice was a little harsher than it had been before and Fliss hung her head.

“Sorry. Can I talk to her.” “Be my guest.” he shrugged, turning once more to leave “Not sure it will do you much good.”

Fliss rose from her chair, her hands shaking a little as she headed out after him. Mary was packing her brushes back in the little box kept by Monty’s stable.

“Hey.” Fliss greeted her “Was he a good boy?” “He’s always a good boy.” Mary shrugged, standing up and stroking his nose.

“That’s true.” Fliss said, her hands slipping into the pockets of her breeches. “So, do you want to ride at weekend? We can try that jumping…”

"Why don't you love me or Frank anymore?" Mary cut her off, spinning to face her. Fliss felt her heart break even further as she looked at the little girl who was staring at her, her large eyes wide and wet with tears. "No, no Mary..." she crouched down and looked at the girl. "I do. I do love you, I love you so much, I just..." "You just don't love Frank anymore?" Fliss took a deep breath, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I'll always love Frank." "Then why did you leave our home?" Mary began to sob. "What did he do?" "Mary." Fliss shook her head "I just had to. I wish I could explain it better but I can't. You're too young to..." "Stop saying that!" Mary yelled and she spun round, pointing at Frank who had up until that point had been stood at the door to the barn, deliberately looking the other way. Hearing her outburst he turned in time to see Mary raise her hand towards him. "He keeps telling me that too, but I'm not stupid! Why do you both keep treating me like I am?" "Mary..." Frank said softly as he strode towards her. "Come on..." "I hate you.” Mary glared at Fliss who looked as though she has been physically slapped. Her head dropped and she looked down at the floor taking a deep breath. "Mary." Frank shook his head "Don’t say that." "I do." Mary's face was full of rage "She made you cry, she made me cry! She promised she would always be there and now she's not and..." "Okay." He said gently, crouching down in front of her, a meter or so away from Fliss. "I get that you're angry but be kind huh?” "Why should I?" Mary shook her head. "Because I'm asking ya to." Frank said softly. "I told you before on the way here that this..." he gestured with his hand between himself and Fliss, his eyes flicking to the woman's face as she wiped a tear from her cheek, “us breaking up...it doesn’t mean that Fliss doesn't care about you." "If she did she wouldn't be leaving me!" Mary blazed and at that point Frank shook his head. "It’s me she's leaving Stack, not you."

Fliss took a deep breath and stood up, turning away, her hand covering her mouth. Frank glanced up at her before he turned to Mary.

"Go wait in the truck." He said to her gently "I won’t be be long"

Mary shot one last look at Fliss before she did as Frank had said and headed off out of the barn and disappeared out of sight.

"Sorry." Frank looked at Fliss as she turned to face him "She shouldn't have said that."

"It doesn't matter..." Fliss shook her head avoiding his gaze. "She’s every right to be angry. I have let her down."

"I think it might be best, certainly for the foreseeable if you take care of Monty." Frank kept his voice even and Fliss looked up at him, a mix of sadness and surprise on her face.

"But he is her pony..."

"Oh come on Fliss." He snorted and shook his head. “Surely you can't be that naive as to think that thinks could just carry on..."

"No but..."

"How can I bring her here if every time she comes she’s gonna react like that?" Frank ran his hand through his hair. “It's me that has to deal with the fall out and I'm struggling to deal with my own feelings at the moment"

“Okay, if that’s what you want…” “No, I don’t want!” Frank shook his head. “I don’t want any of this, but you’ve made it perfectly clear you do and I’ll respect that. I just wish you respected me enough to tell me why.” “Frank, please…” “You left, with no explanation, other than it wasn’t working, but there’s more to it, I can see it written on your face.” his voice was level but his jaw was twitching “Don’t you think I have a right to know?” Fliss tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, blinking back her tears as he continued.

“How would you feel if I had walked out on you, with nothing more than some shitty explanation about it not working and needing space, when a month before we’d been planning for a future together? Fliss, I wanted to marry you, spend my forever with you and…” He trailed off, shaking his head looking around “I’ve spent the last week in a daze, I lay awake at night trying to understand and I just can’t…and that’s the worst bit.” Fliss looked down at her feet and shook her head softly.

“And that’s all you can do or say?” Frank snorted “Absolutely fucking nothing?”

“I’m sorry.” she looked at him, her eyes full of tears “I really am.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.” he said simply, “let me know when you want to collect your stuff from the apartment, I’ll make sure it’s ready.” and with that he turned and left.

*****

“I think it’s the fuel line…” Bill walked back into the office where Fliss and Verity were sat having a coffee whilst he had been taking a look at Fliss’ wagon. It was early Friday evening and she’d wanted nothing more than to load Heidi up and take her for a blast down the beach to clear her mind, but when she had gone to start the wagon to move it out so she could load up her tack it had refused to start. “But I can’t be certain. Not something I can sort really…you’ll need a mechanic.” he turned to look at her “If only you knew one…” “Don’t start Dad.” Fliss shook her head. “Just…”

“Bill…” Verity gave him a warning glare, and Bill simply took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“I’ll speak to Alan, see if he knows a decent one that can come look at it.”

“Thanks.” Fliss said, standing up “I’m gonna go check the fields. Can you just throw the keys back in the drawer?”

“Sure, see you at home yeah?”

She nodded, called Thor to her and headed out.

Bill shook his head and moved to open the drawer to the desk. He tossed the keys inside, and then frowned as he saw the manila envelope that was stuffed inside.

“What is it?” Verity asked.

“That…that’s a Boston post mark….” he mumbled, lifting it out. With a frown, knowing full well there was only one person really from Boston that would be sending Fliss stuff, he turned it over and pulled out the printed photograph. His eyes scanned it and he let out an angry noise and strode out into the courtyard.

“Fliss!” he bellowed “Fliss, get back here right now…” “What’s going on?” Verity asked, and he thrust the photo at her by means of an explanation.

Fliss, having heard her dad shouting stopped dead and turned back to look at the office. She glanced down at Thor before she turned back and headed towards him.

“What’s…” she stopped dead as she saw the envelope on the desk and the photo in her mother’s hand.

“Care to explain this?” Bill said, snatching the paper out of Verity’s fingers and slamming it down on the desk."

"You had no right to go looking through my stuff." she looked at him, angrily.

"Oh cut the crap, Liss." Bill shook his head “When did you get that?”

“Last Wednesday.” she said softly.

“Last Wednesday?” Verity frowned, “that was the day you finished with Frank…” she trailed off as the dots connected in her head as Fliss looked down at the floor. “Oh please tell me I’m wrong…”

Fliss didn’t respond.

“I cannot believe you.” Bill looked at her “This? This is why you ended it? Over some pathetic threat without even telling him?"

"It isn’t pathetic!" Fliss looked up at her dad, her eyes blazing. "I know what he is capable of..."

"Well in that case don't you think Frank has the right to know?" Bill glared at her. "If you believe Mary is in danger then you should have told Frank and gone to the police..."

Fliss swallowed and looked down, shaking her head "I know John. This is about having control over me. If he thinks he’s won he will leave them alone…”

"You’re so fucking stupid." Bill sighed.

“Bill…” Verity spoke gently, trying to calm him down but he was too far gone to listen.

"You've let him win Liss, after everything you went through….”

"This isn’t about him winning!" Fliss practically screamed "This about keeping Mary and Frank safe...not only from him but…well, can you imagine what Frank would have done if he’d seen that?"

“So have you rung John and told him you've done what he wants?"

“Of course I fucking haven't"

"No fault whatsoever in your logic there, huh Titch..." Bill snorted, sarcastically "Tell me, how exactly do you expect him to know it’s over?"

Fliss looked at her dad for a moment, floundering for a response. But she didn’t have one.

"Frank has a right to know about that photo, and more so he deserves to understand why you walked out on him." Bill shook his head, as Verity gently placed a hand on his arm.

“"If you wanna discuss rights then I don’t have the right to put a target on his or Mary’s back.” Fliss screamed back before she took a deep breath, shaking her head “Now I’m going for a walk. See you at home.”

Bill watched as she left the office, an angry noise escaping from his throat.

“You were a bit hard on her there Billy.” Verity said, looking at him.

“She needed it.” Bill sighed. He placed both his hands on the desk and hung his head slightly “I can’t believe she’s been so stupid.” “She’s scared.” Verity said gently “She’s not thinking straight…” “You can say that again.” he looked at the photo for a second before he reached out and grabbed it, shoving it back in the envelope. He paused for a second, holding it in his hand before he turned to Verity “And I’m not standing for it…come one” “Where are we going?” Verity called after him as they made their way towards his car.

“To find Frank.” “Bill, we can’t…” Verity shook her head “If we go behind her back…” “Then you can wait in the car Verity.” he looked at her. “I don’t care what she says anymore, I’m not standing back and watching her throw anymore of her life away over that ass hole. And that aside, Frank has a right to know. So seeing as she’s too fucking stubborn to do it herself, then I’m gonna do it for her.”

***** “Thought I might find you here.”

Frank turned to look at Bill as he slid into the seat at the opposite side of the table to him in Ferg’s.

“Yeah well, not like I got much else to do.” Frank shrugged, taking a drink from his bottle.

“How many have you had?” Bill asked

“What are you my dad?” Frank shot back, turning to glare at him. Bill merely raised his eyebrows in response and Frank sighed, shaking his head.

“Sorry…” he took a deep breath “This is my first. Not been here long”

“Good. You're still sober enough to think straight.” “Think straight about what?” Frank frowned. After a second or so pause Bill reached into his pocket and slid an envelope across the surface of the table.

“What’s this?” Frank frowned.

“An explanation.” Bill sighed, “Well, of sorts anyway.” Frank looked at him, frowning before he placed his bottle down and picked the envelope up. He pulled out the paper from inside and glanced down at it. As soon as he saw the message typed out he felt the heat rise up his neck and into his face, anger flooding his system.

“Fuck.” Frank said loudly, shaking his head “He sent this?” Bill nodded.

“And this...this is why she broke it off?” “She thought if she finished it, gave John what he wanted as in to make her life a fucking misery, that he’d back off and it would mean you and Mary were safe.” Frank ran his hand through his hair “Why the fuck didn't she tell me?” “Because she was scared. Scared of what he would do and scared of your reaction” “My reaction?”

“Tell me you’re not thinking about hunting the fucker down and killing him yourself.” Bill looked at him and Frank looked away.

“If it wasn’t for Mary I’d have done that months ago.” he shook his head.

“Exactly. She was worried that this might have been that step that pushed you over the edge.” Bill shrugged. “Look, I’m not saying she’s right... in fact I’ve told her the opposite but, well, I just thought you had a right to know.”

“Can I keep this?” Frank asked after a moment’s pause “Regardless of what Fliss says, I’m taking this to the police this time.” “By all means.” Bill said. “But they’ll want to speak to Fliss so…”

“Tough.” Frank shrugged. “Now he’s pulled Mary into it I’m not fucking about anymore Bill.”

Bill nodded and stood up, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t think too badly of her Frank. I know she’s fucked up but she did think she was doing the right thing. We do stupid things to protect the people we love, as you know only too well.” Frank looked up at him and then back down to the photo. Bill turned to leave before he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

“By the way, she’ll be at the yard.” He said, locking eyes with Frank. “Probably for another hour or so if the last week has been anything to go by. Just in case you wanted a more detailed explanation straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak.”

And with that he left Frank at the bar. Frank once more glanced down at the photo, before he rubbed at his beard. Now he had his explanation, his head was a mess of thoughts. He was angry, so angry that she’d done this, that she’d kept this from him but despite all of that, despite the fury and resentment he was feeling he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sympathy for her, that she’d tried to deal with all this on her own to keep him and Mary from having to.

“You fucking idiot, Lissy…” he mumbled, before he shoved the photo back in the envelope and stood up, heading out to his truck.

**** Fliss was hanging Heidi’s bridle up in the tack room after a spontaneous ride around the fields when Thor gave a quick bark and shot out. Frowning, she headed to the door of the office, her eyes growing wide as she saw Frank striding purposely towards her, the setting sun illuminating his tall figure and the familiar envelope clutched in his hand.

Fuck…

“Care to explain this?” he waved it in the air as he reached the office threshold

“How did you…” “Your Dad.” he said, thrusting it at her “He came to find me. Thought I had a right to know, and you know what…I’m kinda inclined to agree with him.”

“Frank…” “Were you ever gonna tell me?” he asked, tossing the envelope onto the desk “That he had made a threat towards Mary?” “I dealt with it.” she shook her head “There was no need to worry you.”

“You dealt with it?” His voice was disbelieving “How? By ending things?” “Yes.” She nodded “Breaking it off with you…it was the best way of keeping you both safe.” “You are fucking unbelievable.” he shook his head “You ripped our lives from underneath us…”

“This hasn’t been easy on me either Frank!” she cut him off, angrily “Fuck, leaving you…it broke me. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You know, I’d rather take thousand beatings from John over that because…” she trailed off as Frank looked at her, her words sinking in as she shook her head and looked away, tears falling down her face “…because at least the physical pain would die down…”

“Don’t.” Frank shook his head, his voice cracking “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. I had to keep you safe.” she turned her head to face him, “Both of you…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he pressed.

Fliss looked at him, her mouth opening before she shut it again and shook her head, her eyes dropping to the floor “I had to keep you safe…” “Keep us safe…that’s not answering my question.” She shook her head again. “Damnit Lissy, look at me.”

She raised her face to his, obediently.

“Why?” he pressed.

“I was frightened it might tip you over the edge…make you do something stupid.”

“Stupid? Like what?” “Like go and hunt him down.” she swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” she nodded. “You moved Mary over a thousand miles to keep her away from your own mother...”

“That is NOT the same…” Frank blazed at her

“And I was scared that if you saw this…you’d do something bad and then both of us would end up without you and…” “Fuck!” Frank exploded, slamming his open palm down on the desk with a loud bang. Fliss immediately jumped back, her eyes wide with fright and Frank took a deep breath, as he realised he’d scared her. Besides him Thor gave a low rumble of a growl, and the large dog moved towards Fliss, turning his eyes on Frank. Fliss laid a hand on his head.

“Thor, shh…” she said softly, and he immediately stopped, but never once averted his gaze from Frank.

“Sorry, I…” Frank swallowed, concentrating on his breathing as he looked at her. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?” “I don’t know…I’m sorry.” she sniffed, wiping her face. “I just…”

“Have I ever given you reason to be scared of what I’d do or say or…” “No, of course not…” “So what the fuck makes you think I wouldn’t understand how upset and scared you were over this?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged “I wasn’t thinking straight…” “You weren’t thinking at all…” Frank shook his head “I can’t believe you’ve been so goddamned stupid.”

“I’m sorry…” she looked at him, looking down “I know…I was an idiot and you’ve every right to be angry and hate me…” “I don’t hate you Liss.” Frank sighed softly “I fucking love you, more than I can even begin to explain.” At that Fliss let out a loud sniff and wiped at her nose with her hand.

“And you know what the worst thing about all this is?” He spoke again and she looked at him, waiting for him to finish. “Is that I know I’ll never be able to stop loving you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. It was the truth, he couldn't ever see a point in his life where he would be able to switch those feelings off. Fliss' drew in a ragged breath and as he looked at her he saw something on her face which he recognised instantly, it was the same look she had worn when she told him she had found out John had been released, utter broken helplessness. She shook her head sadly and he could do nothing but watch, his own chest rising and falling deeply as she slid down to the floor, her knees buckling beneath her. Thor pushed his face into hers, gently nuzzling at her as she tangled her hands into his fur.

"I don’t deserve to be loved..." she shook her head as her silent tears continued to flow freely "not at that cost..."

Her words hit Frank like a tonne of bricks and he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Don’t…” he stumbled over his words slightly as he took a step towards her “Don’t say that! Ever again you hear me?” he knelt in front of her as she hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Thor, eyeing Frank again, moved back a little, clearly deciding the man posed no threat. Frank reached out and scratched his ear slightly before he gently placed his hands on Fliss’, prising them from around her knees gently, moving her arms so that her body opened up slightly to him “Fliss you are worthy of all the love in the world...why don’t you see it? Why are you pushing me away?” “I’m sorry… I’m… I…” She fell into him, sobs wracking her small frame as she pressed her face into his chest, her hands moving from her knees, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. "Hey...sshhh..." he hushed her, one hand on the back of her head as he cradled her to him "it's okay…” He sat with her on the tiled floor of the office, no longer even bothering to fight his own tears as he pressed his face into her hair and kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently whilst she cried. Eventually her sobs began to die down into soft cries, her body finally stopped shaking as the cries then subsided into sniffles but still she clung to him as if her life depended on it, simply concentrating on calming herself, allowing his familiar touch and smell to wash over her, ground her. Frank made to pull back slightly, but the moment caused Fliss to panic slightly and she made a grab for him. "No, please...don't go...don't..." "I'm not going anywhere." he promised her quietly as he cupped her cheeks with both his hands, turning her face up to look at him. "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" She gave a soft, watery splutter of a laugh as she nodded in agreement, his thumbs gently wiping her tears away. "But you're my idiot." "I don't deserve you..." she shook her head, averting her eyes from his "Frankie, I don't..." "Stop it." He said sternly, his grip on her face became a little stronger "Liss, look at me..." She swallowed and turned her big brown eyes to meet his, the hurt and pain evident on her pretty face. "I love you." He repeated his earlier statement and she took another deep, shaking breath. "I love you too." she sobbed, fresh tears rolling out of her eyes "Well then..." He looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "The question is, do you think that's enough to put this behind us?" "You want to?" She asked him, her voice almost a whisper, surprise still evident in her tone. "Of course I do." Frank sniffed and smiled at her. “I never wanted you to leave in the first place, Sweetheart." "What about Mary? She hates me..." Fliss shook her head. “And I don’t blame her." "No, she doesn't. She’s angry and lashing out. She tells me she hates me all the time, remember?" Frank smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Fliss' ear "You might get the silent treatment for a day or so but well, some might call that a pleasant break." Fliss gave a snort of laughter before she finally let go of his shirt, reaching up with both hands to wipe at her face. "I bet I look a right state." She shook her head, looking down at her hands as the fingers on her left hand began to anxiously play with the ones on her right. "No more than usual." He quipped. "I still think you're beautiful." "Charmer." She said, her mouth curling up at one side into a glimmer of a smile, eyes still cast downwards. Frank reached out and gently took her chin between his finger and thumb, tilting her head upwards. She looked at him for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed a kiss to her lips. A soft, lingering one, that was loaded with meaning as his hand once more rest against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her left hand coming up lay over his, her fingers sliding into the spaces between his own. He gently, pressed his forehead to hers, his own eyes closing as he slid his nose up against hers. "Take me home." She whispered to him and he could tell from her tone it was a question not a demand. He opened his eyes to see her looking at him with a hopeful expression that matched the tone of her voice "please." He smiled at her and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before he pushed himself up off the floor and offered her his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her up on the floor and lacing his fingers between hers, he gently led them both towards the door. Once outside he paused to let her lock it before he gently slid his arm round her shoulders and she leaned into him as they walked towards his truck, Thor happily trotting behind them.

**** Chapter 22

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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sincerelyella · 3 years

Text

The Royal Treatment Chapter 1 - One In A Million

Books: The Royal Romance and Open Heart (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Bryce x F!OC (Aera)

Series Summary: Upon finishing their medical degrees at Stanford University, Ella, Aera, and Bryce take on an international medical residency training program in Cordonia, landing them a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will put them to test in the name of romance, friendship, and career.

A/N: Thank you @ofpixelsandscribbles for being patient with me and editing the crap out of this!

Please note that our story is not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome and much appreciated.

Warnings: not much really, maybe adult language?

Words: 2112

Bryce, Aera, and Ella were already two weeks into their residency programs. Bryce in the surgical department, Aera in anesthesia, and Ella in the new pediatric cardiology unit.

Since Bryce and Aera’s specialties worked together closely, the pair of them spent more time together during the day. Every night, however, Ella has to hear about how Bryce stole Aera’s lunch or how Aera was so irritated with Bryce’s antics. All Ella could do is suggest that they confess their feelings.

“El, you know I can’t do that,” Aera sighed as the best friends sat and watched How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days in Ella’s room, while wearing yogurt-scented Korean facial sheet masks as part of their night skin regimen care.

“Why not?” Ella pointed the remote at the TV and paused the movie. “Just tell him how you feel. Who knows, maybe he’ll feel the same!”

“That’s just it, he doesn’t feel the same,” Aera carefully adjusted her mask to the center of her face, making sure that her eyes and nose were fitted perfectly on their designated holes.

Ella bit her lip, hard. Keeping this secret from her friend was killing her, but she made a promise … to her other friend. “You don’t know that, A.”

“Can we just … forget this conversation?” Aera dropped her hands on the pillow on her lap and sniffled. “Please? I just want to enjoy this movie with you and pass out with my hand in the popcorn bowl, like I usually do.”

“Fine,” Ella unpaused the movie and the pair sat in silence for a few moments. After what seemed like 20 minutes, the girls removed the sheet masks off their faces, letting the cold serum linger on their faces for a bit.

“Are you ready for your interview tomorrow? You have that one patient right?” Aera asked as she gently tapped two fingers over her moist face for better absorption of the serum.

“Yeah, I’m ready. The little guy had heart surgery and he’s doing amazing,” While mirroring Aera’s facial care technique, Ella smiled widely as she remembered how her patient, a little five year old boy named Thomas, wrapped his arms around her neck in gratitude.

The next day

Dr. Katherine Richey was Ella’s attending and she was an older woman who was, according to Ella, a badass. Dr. Richey was world renowned, but chose Cordonia because this was the country of her birth.

“Okay, Dr. Brooks, when we go in there, we’ll go over the history, the procedure Thomas had done, and your plan.”

Ella nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“You’ll be great, Ella,” Katherine squeezed the younger woman’s shoulder. “Nervous?”

“A little bit, but it’s just you, me, Ana de Luca and his parents, so I’ll be fine.”

“Oh,” Katherine’s brows furrowed. “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you, Ella.”

“Tell me what?”

“Prince Liam moved to start this cardiology unit since he had heart surgery himself as a newborn,” Katherine smiled brightly. “He will be visiting us today and meeting all the patients and their parents.”

“He … Prince … what?!” Ella’s heart began to flutter in her chest. All she could picture was the beautiful blue eyes staring back at her on that magazine. “I …”

“Ella, he’s here, let’s go!”

Oh fuck.

In a daze, Ella followed Dr. Richey to the nurse’s station where a small group had already gathered.

Ana De Luca turned towards Ella and Katherine with a large smile. “Ah, Dr. Richey, how lovely to see you again.”

“Ana, how are you?”

Katherine and Ana shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

“This is my new cardiology resident, Dr. Ella Brooks.”

“A pleasure,” Ella shook Ana’s hand.

“Dr. Brooks, are you new to Cordonia?”

“I am, yes,” Ella squeaked, and gulped when she saw the same man that she ogled on the cover of Trend magazine walk up behind Ana.

“Prince Liam! This is Dr. Richey and Dr. Brooks.”

Dr. Richey and Ana curtsied while Ella stood frozen, still shocked.

Katherine nudged Ella with her elbow.

“Ow!” Ella rubbed her side in annoyance, then realized everyone was staring at her. Shit. “Oh, I mean, how nice to meet you, Your Highness,” she dipped into a small curtsy and saw that the prince had a huge, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Brooks,” Liam couldn’t stop smiling at this beautiful woman who looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. Her cheeks were flushed and she kept her hands clasped together in a tight fist in front of her.

No matter how much Ella wanted to stare at the ground in pure awkwardness, she kept her light brown eyes connected to his baby blue ones.

“Alright,” Dr. Richey announced, interrupting the awkward silence. “Let’s go, we’ll be in room 342.”

Ana nodded and gestured behind her. “Isaac is my cameraman and photographer, he’s just going to get some candid photos for the magazine and news broadcast for tonight.”

The group walked towards the patient’s room, Ella and Katherine led the way. A soft knock on the door by Ella was met with an excited squeal from inside.

The room was filled with balloons, a stuffed lion at the foot of a bed, a large stuffed bear that sat in the corner of the room and it was almost as tall as the ceiling. Thomas’ bed had Star Wars sheets and he had a stuffed Wookie sitting next to him. “Dr. Brooks!”

“Hi, Thomas,” all the nervousness Ella felt earlier dissipated as soon as this sweet boy shrieked her name. “I have a couple friends I’d like you to meet.”

“Hi everybody!” Thomas waved both his hands at his visitors. “I have new sheets! Mom got them for me. Feel how soft they are!”

Liam chuckled and leaned forward to feel the little boy’s bed spread. “That is really soft, Thomas. I’m-”

Thomas’ eyes widened. “You’re the prince!” He grabbed his stuffed lion and held it up towards Liam. “Look! My dad got me this stuffed lion like yours!”

As the two talked about lions and Star Wars, Ella and Katherine spoke with Ana, Thomas’ mom Elizabeth, and his dad Richard.

“We signed all the forms earlier,” Richard explained to Ana. “Our boy is a miracle and his story should be told.”

“Tell me, how did you find out about his condition?” Ana asked as she wrote some notes in her notebook.

“He was almost five years old,” Elizabeth began as she wrung her hands together. “He started complaining of pain in his chest when he would run and play at school. He told his teacher he was having problems breathing-” her breath hitched as she remembered what happened to her only son.

Richard squeezed his wife’s shoulder and continued on with the story. “We took him to an adult emergency room and they just said he was short of breath because he has asthma. They sent us home with medication and that was it.”

“I knew it was something more than asthma,” Elizabeth added. “Chest pain, feeling tired all the time and problems breathing weren’t just symptoms of asthma.”

“Once we found out this unit opened up we called to see if we could have Thomas looked at,” Richard turned to Ella with unshed tears in his eyes. “We are so grateful you answered the phone that day.”

“Dr. Brooks got you in here?” Ana asked as she looked up from her notebook.

“Yes, she fought to have us here, for her to follow Thomas through his surgery,” Elizabeth’s tears streamed down her face. “Thank you for saving my baby.”

As Liam watched, Ella gave Thomas’ parents a hug and wiped away her own tears. His heart skipped a beat as Thomas jumped off the bed and lept into Ella’s arms. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, he just met her not even 30 minutes ago, but he had never felt the need to watch a woman. He had a lot of women throw themselves at him, he was a prince after all; but he had never wanted to watch them or find out everything about them. Liam chewed on his bottom lip as Ella threw her head back in laughter, Thomas still holding her in his small arms. The sound of her laugh made Liam want to be the cause of that for the rest of her life.

“Prince Liam?” Ana called out, breaking the smitten, blue-eyed prince out of his trance.

“Erm, yes?” Liam felt his neck and face flush in embarrassment at being caught staring.

“Shall we make our way to the foyer for your announcement?”

“Ah, yes,” Liam stole a glance at Ella, who was giving him a curious look. “Let’s go.”

The group said their goodbyes to Thomas and family and made their way to the front of the hospital.

“What is going on?” Ella whispered to Katherine.

“You’ll see.”

In the foyer, Ella was surprised to see most of the hospital as well as Bryce and Aera already there waiting.

Bryce wrapped his arm around his friend. “El! Where’ve you been?”

“I was getting interviewed by Ana de Luca, and the prince was there!”

“Whoa!” Aera squealed. “You saw the hot prince?!”

“Everyone, let’s quiet down please.” Dr. Cynthia Moore, the chief resident of the surgical department, clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “For those that don’t know who I am, my name is Dr. Moore and I am in charge of the surgical residents.”

Katherine stood at the top of the stairs, found Ella in the crowd with her eyes and smiled. “I’m Dr. Richey and I run the pediatric cardiology department.”

A petite woman stepped forward from behind Katherine. “Hi all, I’m Dr. Martinez and I look after the anesthesia residents.”

A tall man with a white coat cleared his throat. “My name is Ethan Ramsey, I am the Chief of Medicine here at Cordonia Memorial Hospital. I have His Royal Highness, Prince Liam here to make an announcement.”

Liam patted his friend on the shoulder. “Thank you, Dr. Ramsey. I met a lot of you today,” he locked eyes with Ella and smiled. “It was an honor to speak with you, seeing everyone excited to be here is what makes this hospital world class. I’m here to announce a competition, so to speak.”

The residents began to whisper among themselves.

“My father, King Constantine, wanted to start this residency program and open it to not only Cordonians but to foreigners as well. Dr. Ramsey, for example, was offered to stay in Cordonia as your Chief of Medicine after saving my father’s life in America,” Liam cleared his throat. “This competition will allow the winner to become an intern for my family’s medical team. Meaning, should any of my family become ill, you will be the first person we call to come to the palace.”

A hand shot up in the crowd.

“Yes?”

“Prince Liam,” a blond haired, blue-eyed woman next to Ella spoke. “How do we win?”

“Very good question. What is your name?”

The woman blushed. “I’m Madison, Your Highness, Dr. Madison Herrera.”

Liam smiled at Madison and Ella felt her stomach churn. “Well, Dr. Herrera, in order to win, your Chief Resident will be observing you closely. They will be rounding on your patients, speaking to them, looking over your charting, going through your diagnosis, treatment and plans.”

Ethan’s voice boomed throughout the foyer. “If you diagnose wrong, give your patient the wrong medication or fuck up in any way, you will automatically lose.”

Liam’s eyes widened at Ethan’s words. “Well, yes, unfortunately if you diagnose wrong, you will be out. Your Chief Residents will list you from highest to lowest, if you are the top resident for more than four weeks in a row, you win.”

“Do surgical and anesthesia residents compete also?” Bryce hollered.

“Dr. Lahela!” Dr Moore hissed from her place on the stairs.

“It’s okay,” Liam chuckled. “I apologize, Dr. Lahela, only medical residents for this competition.”

“Any other questions?” Ethan asked impatiently. When no one said a word, he waved everyone away. “Fine, go back to your departments.”

Ella let out a long breath and made her way to the cafeteria. She flashed her badge at the woman manning the register whose name was Flora. “Hi Ate, I’m just here for coffee.”

Flora waved her through. “Go ahead, Anak, it’s on the house.”

“Salamat po,” Ella squeezed the older woman’s shoulder and walked towards the drinks. As she picked a size and what flavor coffee she wanted, she felt someone standing behind her.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

11 notes · View notes

theficplug · 4 years

Text

l Next Lifetime l Erik Killmonger l

previous chapters: l part 1 l

erik kilmonger x reader

warnings: none, but the usual 18+ for the eventual smut and a possible tw for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcomsynopsis: reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). I really want to make it a series that i actually keep up with (sorry Girls Trip readers) because I have up to part 4 written. alright thats all i hope yall vibe with it.

l part 2 l

“Yeah I do, I think that like if we want. We can come back as someone else or like maybe when we love someone really strongly and we have like soul ties we can come back to them in another life. But that’s just me. We could just be hitting the cha cha slide next to Father J.C.” Iridia explains and Tika shakes her head while laughing at her.

“Personally, I don’t think so. I believe once our life Earthside is done we return to the cosmos to be a part of the stars that light up the night sky on our loved ones darkest nights. But why are we talking about this on your birthday? We are very much alive with much to celebrate miss thang. I’m ready to go!” Tika says to you as she grabs the car keys.

“So I met someone while I was at the store and he invited all of us to a party at the Roller Rink but I gotta let you know it’s like crazy how eerily similar he looks to Erik.” you say to them and they both give each other a look before looking back at you.

“OH! Don’t give me that look! I know y’all probably think I’m losing it, but you know what they say everybody got a doppelganger somewhere. Anyways, I know it’s not exactly on our itinerary but I wanna go if y’all are down?” you ask them and they give a worried look before nodding and agreeing.

“Hell yeah we’re in. I haven’t been to a skating rink since like 10th, maybe 11th grade? This should be fun to see if I got it or if I’m gonna buss my ass.” Tika says laughing.

The rest of the day was pretty easy breezy but you could not get over seeing him. Who’s possibly not him? In front of you. Happy and laughing and present.

You tried to shake off the thoughts and feelings during brunch with your girls and for the rest of the day enjoying the street festival and winning a giant stuffed giraffe. Between the 3 of you, you won enough stuffed animals to fill the entire backseat of your car and eventually left the festival with a caricature drawing of the 3 of you.

Before you knew it, it was 6:40 and you and your girls were back at the beach house getting ready for the party.

You searched around your suitcase for the outfits that Iridia had packed for you and settled on.

You gave yourself a once over in the mirror and fluffed your fro a little before re-applying your lip gloss.

“GIRL, YOU LOOK SO GOOD. What is going on? You tryna get chose?” Tika asks standing in the doorway as she smiles at you with her ipod in one hand and a freeze-able daiquiri pouch in the other.

You laugh as Tika glides around the room shaking her hips to the beat and doing a little roll as she saunters over to you to help you clasp your shirt in the back.

It’s safe to say that you haven’t been exactly up to your fashionably self for the past few months but Iri giving you options with the different pieces of clothing that she bought you had you feeling like yourself again.

“Damn, I’m good.” Iri says while giving you a twirl and takes selfies with you and Tika.

You purse your lips and give your best smize towards her phone as she snaps a photo of you and for a moment things feel like they used to.

“Just wanted to feel cute for once. I love this top and girl it got my titties SIT-TING.” you reply giggling and childishly nudging your girls before asking if they’re ready to go.

You put the address into the gps and you were off on your way.You tried turning up the radio to drown out how loud your thoughts were going and in a million different directions.

About 20 minutes later. You look out the window once arriving at the skating rink to see cars already filling the entire parking lot and you could see people laughing while holding onto each other as they skated their way inside.

The music is already blaring and you could definitely tell that “Daka”’s friend is a party planner. The venue had some sort of projector or something set up so that the entire room seemed like it changed “worlds” with each song. There were multiple food stations, and a live DJ playing everything from 90s R&B to New Orleans bounce music and everything in between.

You and your girls quickly grabbed a pair of skates and looked around for N’Jadaka and sure enough within a few minutes he was grooving his way over to you this time dressed in a slightly opened printed shirt and light washed jeans.

He skated around you with a big ass smile on his face. His golds were gleaming under the lights as it bounced off of the diamonds engrained in it. “YOU MADE IT! How y’all doing?” he asks your girls and they stand there gasping with their mouths wide open.

“I mean he could be his goddamn identical twin. You were not lying! The only thing he’s missing are the scars and his dreads. God damn.” Tika was the first to speak before Iri introduced herself.

“Hey, Happy Birthday, I’m Iri. This is Tika’s rude self and you already met our boo.” Iri says pulling him in for a quick hug.

“ I’m sorry, excuse us, you just look exactly like somebody we knew. Happy Birthday! It was his birthday too. It’s wild how people really do be having doppelgangers. Alright, so I’m gonna go try not to break my damn leg. Knowing I gotta go to work on Monday. Come on.” Tika says taking Iri by the hand and making her way onto the rink with her to give you and him some time alone.

You shift your weight trying to keep yourself steady as you sway to music , knowing that he’s eyeing you up and down.

“Man must’ve been a hell of a person. I’m glad you came though. I didn’t think Orleans was gonna do all of this.” he says laughing and you can’t control the butterflies feelings like they were fluttering around your stomach. That’s his laugh.

“He was. To me at least, he was. Of course, I mean I haven’t been to a roller rink in forever and I really needed some time to just know what it’s like to be carefree again.” you admit and he nods along listening to your words.

He decided to save his comment on “he was” for later. Hoping that there would be a later for the two of you and opted for taking your hand in his and leading you onto the rink .

“Well, in that case. Show me what you got and forget about everything else for a minute.” he offers and you accept his offer and shakily make your way onto the rink like bambi trying to walk for the first time.

“Okay, so I’ll admit. I don’t actually know how to skate. I don’t why I thought this was a good idea.” you manage to stand for all of 10 seconds before tripping over onto him and he turns towards the DJ talking into the mic and signals for him to slow the music down.

“I got you.” he says and “Always Be My Baby” starts to play softly in the background as the “world” changes to a starry night.

You look up at him for a moment and nod before leaning into him. As you rest your head on his shoulder he begins to skate you left to right gently swaying you to the beat of the song as his hand rests respectfully on the small of your back almost instinctively. It took everything in you not to start tearing up again.

This was your song . He always promised that you’d be a part of him no matter what happens in life. You were always going to be his baby.

All the couples were paired off and you looked around at Iri holding onto Tika and smiled knowing that they’ve never acknowledged their feelings for each other but it was clear as day to anyone else.

He swayed you and held you against him while his thumb stroked your back gently and you closed your eyes trying to soak up your time with him.

You don’t know how it happened or if this was one long drawn out delusion or what exactly was going on in the moment, but all you knew was that you were able to feel the warmth of your E in your arms again and his scent evading all of your senses.

In this moment he was smiling and content and at peace, not being shipped back to you with claw marks in his chest and bruises all over him. He was here with even slow breaths and enjoying himself.

You knew that he felt it too because as the song ended you opened your eyes to find him looking down at you with this look of confusion and adulation on his face.

You run your fingers over his cheek and clear your throat and recoil your hand back by your side.

“I think your friends are calling for you.” you say to him playfully as the men and one woman around your age skate over to him and around the two of you, asking you a bunch of questions at once.

E- N’Jadaka let’s go of you to turn to them and introduce them to you .

“This is Orleans big head ass, Khalil , Pen, Lina, and Big Mike.” he says and they say hey and ask you if you are from around the area and you talk back and forth.

The conversation between you and his little group was so easygoing. It didn’t feel forced or awkward as he stood beaming from you to them.

“I've been there once or twice. I really liked the Hottentot Saartjie/ Sarah Baartman piece about the dehumanization and caricaturization of black women, especially darker skin women, then and now. It was both interesting and heartbreaking. It’s the reason why I do what I do now. I create safe spaces for black girls and women of all ages. It’s my greatest accomplishment and something I’m most proud of.” you answer Mike’s question about the new black art exhibit downtown.

Mike looks at you and shakes his head in wonder and amusement.

“Daka, with all due respect bruh. I gotta ask her to marry me. Or you need to let me know what aisle that was you met her because I’mma swing by your parents' store tonight. I think we might be out of bread or something.” Big Mike says before complimenting you on your outfit and Lina joined in by asking if you’d like to check out a new record store with her on Tuesday.

Next thing you knew your girls skated next to you to see what was going on. Tika introduced herself to the group and Iridia followed through.

“Hey I heard something about a record store because I could use some new ones. I think our neighbors are tired of me playing Otis Redding every night for the last few weeks. Keep asking me if I had a breakup every time I see her. Bless her nosey heart , Mrs. Pepper.” Iridia says talking animatedly and as gesticulatively as she always does and his small group of friends as everyone does seems completely enamored by her.

“Of course, yeah, why don’t you come too? And Mrs. Pepper just doesn't know good music but I may be biased because Cigarettes and Coffee is my favourite song. Hold that thought. My mouth is dry as hell from all that skating around, be right back-” Lina says before skating away for refreshments and the rest of the group talks amongst each other.

Other friends of N’Jadaka come up at random times to hug him, get photos, or say happy birthday.

“You want some?” Lina asks Erik as she returns to the group with a cupcake in her hand as she peeled the wrapper off and offered Erik a piece of the chocolate dessert. She reached out her hand towards his mouth and you looked from her to him and then at the cupcake which looked like it had walnuts in it. You push the piece away from his mouth and she looks at you puzzled.

“What’s up with you?” he asks looking confused

“Chocolate walnut cupcake.” you say simply not realizing that you were supposed to have just met him this morning .

“I- I mean just a lucky guess you know most people have nut allergies and shit.” you try to cover your tracks and he let out a sigh before laughing and nodding.

“You right too. Damn I was gon be out here looking like Will Smith when he ate that shellfish in Hitch for the rest of the function. I’m allergic to nuts. Good looking out ma.” he says and you nod at him before telling him to go skate with his friends you’d meet up later.

As you part ways your friends have about 3000 questions each. Iri believing that that definitely has to be Erik and Tika believing that you both had lost your natural born ass minds.

You all settle on how wild it is that he looked like Erik and left it there. You enjoyed the rest of your night swag surfing with a room full of new friends and your old forever friends and just fully enjoying your birthday.

“WE LIKE TO PAARTTAAYYY. AYYYYEEE AYYYYYEEE.” you sung out loud at the top of your lungs with everyone else and Beyonce.

Somehow you end up twerking on Lina and having a good laugh as the drinks flow through your system.

You glance over at N’Jadaka being circled by some of his guests and he breaks the circle to grab your hand and lead you to the middle of it with him.

“MY BIRTHDAY TWIN!” he shouts over the music to his guests and you shake your head telling him that he doesn’t really have to share his spotlight with you.

“Ain’t no problem.” he responds and you watch as everybody starts to skate a circle around you and Erik and y’all both laugh and pose for pictures while people sing Happy Birthday the Stevie Wonder version.

His friends and yours all took turns to skate up to pin money on you both.

You cheer and clap along to the music as you sing Happy Birthday to him and he sings it back to you.

Before you know it you're both smiling at each other and getting swept up into a soft gentle kiss that feels like electricity is pulsing between the two of you.

As you close your eyes you can get a glimpse of kissing him before he left for Wakanda. The way he pressed his forehead against yours , the way your hands rested against his beating heart, and the way that his soft plumps felt against yours.

You knew that he felt it too because when you broke the kiss with a tug of his bottom lip he was staring down at you once again with a puzzled expression.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I just-” you explain before exiting the circle and making your way out of the skating rink.

You quickly take off the shows and put your regular shoes back on as you stand outside for a moment to get some fresh air and gather yourself.

"Why is this happening? How is this happening? People don't just get to come back. This is insane. This is insane."

It didn’t take long at all before Erik was smoothly grooving his way out of the door not once spilling his drink.

“You know ma, I’mma lot of things. But I know for sure stupid ain’t one of them.” he says swaying his shoulders to the music before he stops and stands in front of you.

“You know something, don’t you? How do we really know each other?” he asks slowly

“I don’t. We met in Aloha Oakland for the first time. I feel so connected to you and believe that we have chemistry because you remind me of my ex. He passed away nearly a year ago and I didnt wanna tell you that right off the bat because the shit’s weird. “Hey, sorry I passed out , you cute but you remind me of my dead ex. So yeah, have a good day”.” you explain and he nods deciding once again to not press the issue.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is never an easy thing to go through. I feel I experienced so much of that so early I didn't know anything else besides death. I was told that my birth parents were both murdered. But my parents taught me through all that rot and decay of the heart something beautiful can still grow. They taught me how to live. That there is more to life is more than just surviving day to day out of spite and anger." He speaks slowly like he's really pondering the words that he wants to say before continuing.

"It's kinda my fault. I feel like I was a lil too forward with all of this. My friends and the way that they party can be overwhelming. I'd like to make it up to you if you up for it. Just me and you. Maybe like a coffee or something quieter than this. I want to get to know you. Even though I know it's gonna sound corny as hell, I can't help feeling like I already do. You passing out by them discount cakes wasn't an accident at all, I think it was fate." he says and you look up at him before nodding.

“I think so too.”

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger smut #black panther imagine #black panther fic #Erik killmonger x Reader

145 notes · View notes

shananigans402 · 3 years

Note

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2.

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad.

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady.

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations.

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone.

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer.

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

#read up @raginage #this is what you get #responding to these out of spite took far longer than i thought lol

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sergeanttpoliteness · 4 years

Note

are requests open 🥺 apparantly in the 20s it was slang to call someone's bf daddy, given that can we get a reader who's from another dimension getting all blushy when noir mentions it given the context of it now?

hello, nonnie! so sorry it took me almost a week to get to this! thank you for the request, love :) you have no idea how much writing that sentence made me squirm from embarrassment

——-

➹jealousy➹(spider-noir x reader)

Peter isn’t one to get jealous, or at least that’s what he tries to tell himself. He doesn’t mind your ex who doesn’t seem to get ‘no’ for an answer. It’s the truth, he swears… right?

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this isn’t sponsored by starburst ™, lmao. anyway, y’all really like spider-noir, huh. i kinda played myself when i included both peter’s in this, ahaa, i tried my best to make it as least confusing as possible. i’m sorry, ily.

warnings: annoying ex, mild jealousy (i mean, it’s the title lol)

——-

You slowly drew the blinds of the window, and in spite of your speculations which you were nearly a hundred percent confident in, your eyes grew bigger as soon as you got a glimpse of the scene unfolding outside of Aunt May’s house. Shortly after, Miles and Peter B. Parker (you had to admit, the amount of Peter’s in your life truly scrambled your brain sometimes) joined you, and the three of you squeezed close together, attempting to look through the small slit without attracting much attention.

You had the urge to take your phone out of your pocket and start recording a video to send all your friends, for this was a spectacle that you weren’t sure you’d ever have the pleasure of witnessing ever again in your lifetime: a drunk man standing in the front yard, passionately belting out the lyrics of a song to the closed door of the house. “Did he, like, get the wrong house?” Miles muttered, his heart thumping fast as the young man noticed all three of you and pointed directly at you.

“Please! Don’t leave me!” He cried out.

You took one last look at him before you retreated from the window, pinching the bridge of your nose. “No. That’s my ex.” You sighed, questioning why you ever were attracted to the boy as his tragic performance continued. Peter B. laughed and you closed your eyes, ashamed.

“That’s your ex?! The ex?” Yes, this was, in fact, not the first time they heard about your ex-boyfriend. The number of stories you had was inevitable since the train wreck of a relationship lasted two years, after all. Whilst he now went on to voice the instruments of the song, worry began to seep within everyone when you all simultaneously came upon the realization that somehow the jerk had discovered where you were staying during the weekend. Although you’d been like a daughter to May since you were a kid, you were aware she would not be content with you once she returned from her trip and heard that you failed in your basic task of taking care of her home and her address now belonged as part of a stalker’s knowledge.

Peter B. glanced at you, frowning. “You want me to go and talk to him?”

You appreciated his offer, and your inner voice urged you to cave into the most effortless way out of the situation; however, your eyes moved to the hallway, and another concern, more potent and persuasive, drowned it out. “Thanks, dude, but don’t worry, I’ve got it,” You smiled at him, albeit you weren’t entirely certain about that statement. “Just… you guys go and distract Peter and make sure he doesn’t find out my ex is here, or else…”

Eight months. From December up till August, you’d known the third Peter Parker in your life for eight months. In the fourth month, April, you recognized your true intentions and feelings. In the fifth month, you finally acted upon them, and made the first move. At last, June, the sixth month, rolled in, and Peter built up the courage to make things official. All those months possessed two constant factors: your ever-growing connection and… your ex.

One of the many characteristics you were thankful for and adored in Peter was his control over his jealousy. No fingerprints of possessiveness nor suffocating authority smeared your relationship, regardless of your distance, Peter’s background, the exasperating cameos of your ex-boyfriend, or that you’d expressed to him you didn’t want anyone other than the “spider-gang” (as Peter B. had named it) to know about you two being together since— well, how in the world were you supposed to explain where he came from?

You felt irrational and absurd once the thought passed through your head, but sometimes you wondered if Peter worried too little. The origin of said thought could be traced back to when you weren’t quite dating yet, and your ex booty-called you in the midst of your first date. Peter’s amused expression at your own embarrassed one puzzled you, yet you chose not to think much about it and instead were glad it didn’t send the evening down the wrong trail. The thought reappeared a second instant one month into your relationship, though, after you showed him a large bouquet of flowers, a poem attached to it that could be offensive to those who practiced the art and with your ex’s handwriting. Again, nothing; later, you two found yourselves mocking the failed poetry and the odd comparison of your adorableness to that of E.T.’s (you really had no explanation for that one).

However, the suspicion that perhaps he was too good at hiding his feelings arose when a week earlier, you got a phone call from your ex begging you to escape with him to Iceland. That was the first time you saw it: the hint of irritation in Peter’s stiff body and tense jaw. Minutes later, you blocked the phone number— an action way too long overdue, before things became strained.

You closed the front door behind you and approached the drunk man, resolute on preventing the two men from meeting each other and getting under each other’s skin as you clenched your fists closed. “I forgot to say out loud, how beautiful you really are to me!” Your ex sang, a smirk breaking out on his face when he saw your clear annoyance. “I can’t be without! You’re my perfect little punching bag—”

“Matt, what the hell are you doing?”

He quirked a brow, giving you a once-over. “Serenading you?” Matt said as if it were obvious. You rolled your eyes and scowled at him, keeping a significant distance between the two of you.

“No, I mean, how did you find me?”

“I followed you.”

Fear and disgust crawled all over your skin. You took a step back, narrowing your eyes. “Listen, I really don’t want to get in trouble, okay? So for the last time, please stop calling me—”

“But this isn’t a phone call.”

“Or following me.” You finished. He stumbled forward, shaking his head vigorously.

“But I love you,” He sniffed, wiping the one mediocre tear making its way down his cheek. You could feel a groan forming in your throat from his idiocy and child-like attitude; you couldn’t believe he was fucking crying.

You crossed your arms across your chest, unimpressed. “Well, I don’t.” His shift from sadness to anger caught you off guard.

“Bullshit, I know you still love me. I know you miss me,” Matt pointed an accusing finger at you, advancing closer. “Stop playing hard to get and let’s just, l-let’s just go back to normal—”

You laughed in disbelief, your mouth ajar. “Playing hard to get? How is this playing hard to get?!”

Meanwhile, Miles and Peter B. stood in front of Peter, blocking him from leaving the hallway as he remained in between the two and the bathroom door. “So, whatcha think?” Miles asked him, ogling the man. Peter bit again the yellow Starburst and chewed for a while, eyes squinted while he analyzed the flavor. He swallowed and looked down at the wrapper in the palm of his hand, nodding.

“I like it. I think it may be my favorite.”

“What? No way, try the pink flavor again,” Miles took out a pink squared candy from the bag and held it up to Peter’s face. “It’s the best.”

Peter B. shook his head in disagreement and stared down at Miles, scrunching his brows together. “What do you mean? Red is the best.” Miles, now distracted, dropped his arm by his side and showed him a face of utter disgust.

“Do your taste buds even work? Everyone I know says pink is best.”

“Do your dimension’s taste buds work? You’re totally wrong, bud.”

Peter pocketed the wrapper, shrugging. “Personally, I enjoyed all of them—”

“Try red.”

“No, pink.”

Peter B. groaned. “Pink is overrated.” Miles looked at him straight in the eye, expressionless.

“Your opinion is irrelevant.”

Peter B. Parker had never felt more hurt by a teenager.

“I’m the oldest one here! I think I know better.”

Peter was growing impatient. He cleared his throat and gently moved Miles aside. “All right, while you fellas discuss… this, I’m gonna go—”

“No!” Miles placed the pink Starburst in Peter’s hand, frantic. “Eat the pink one.”

“Eat them all!” Peter B. chuckled nervously, shrugging with his hands raised, palms facing upwards. Miles nodded as if it were the best idea of the century.

“Yeah, I don’t want them anymore, here—” He slammed the bag of candy onto Peter’s chest. Peter hesitantly took ahold of it, visibly perplexed. He opened his mouth to question their strange behavior and if they thought he had been born yesterday, until a distant singing voice interrupted him.

“And I need you! I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry! I love you, fuck!”

“What’s that?”

‘The neighbors’, ‘The TV’, Peter B. and Miles said at the same time.

This plan was doomed from the beginning.

“Da da da da! Da da da da!”

Peter took off his glasses, guarding them inside his pocket and his brows knitted together before he pushed the two aside and took off, putting on his mask.

“Quiet down!” You hissed at Matt, glancing back at May’s house. His hands landed on your shoulders, but you immediately pushed him off you. “Fuck off, Matt! We’ve been broken up for seven months already! I moved on, and so should you!” He cocked his head to the side, his face twisted in confusion as if you’d just spoken in a foreign language.

“Broken up?” He repeated your words, voice small. “It was just a break.”

It was your turn to be confused. “What? …No. It’s over. It was over a long time ago.”

His face fell as a realization dawned upon him and his gaze burned into yours, emotionless, making you more uncomfortable. “You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?”

Your heartbeat sped up. “No, I said I moved on, not that I was seeing someone else—”

“You’re cheating on me?”

You took in a deep breath, close to tipping to the edge. “Again, we’re broken up.” You reiterated harshly. “As in we’re not a relationship anymore.” But Matt’s dense self wouldn’t give up just yet.

“It was just a break.”

You’ve had it.

“It’s not a fucking break!” You shouted, making him jump. You heard the front door open and you both whipped around, your heart dropping. As soon as your sight landed on Peter going down the stairs, you gulped. Peter B. and Miles’ plan wasn’t the only one that failed that night.

“What’s going on here?” Peter’s voice was hard, bitter. You speed-walked closer to him before he could reach Matt.

“Peter—” You stopped him in his tracks, your hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get him out of here, okay? I got it.” No, you didn’t, most definitely not. And you could tell he knew.

He looked at Matt, and although his face remained covered, chills ran down the latter’s spine. “Are you Matt?” Peter asked loudly. Matt narrowed his eyes, puffing out his chest.

“Who are you?” He nodded at Peter, trying to sound intimidating, but the other didn’t move a muscle.

“I asked you a question.”

Matt studied Peter’s dark outfit, wondering if he was so drunk he was imagining the man. “Y-Yeah, that’s me. I’m Matt.”

“All right. Look at me, Matt.” Matt did as he said. “Good. Now, listen very closely.”

“What are you doing?” You whisper-screamed at Peter, giving him a warning with your eyes. “I said I got this.”

Peter stared at you, considering letting you handle it by yourself as you wished. But the flare, the ire at your ex had been fortifying, expanding slowly since the beginning; and now that he was there, just a few feet away— a drunken moron who relentlessly peeved you and riled him up— ultimately, impatience engulfed him and he shook his head. “You clearly don’t.”

Once Peter reached Matt, he towered over him. Matt blinked up at him, feeling smaller than ever. “Y/N’s with me now. If I hear from you one more darn time, then the coppers will be the least of your worries. Trust me. Got it?” Peter said lowly, and Matt solely nodded. “Got it?” He repeated through clenched teeth.

Matt put his hands in the air in defeat, backing away. “Heard you, man. Fuckin’ weirdo.” He muttered before he turned around and sat down on the sidewalk. You grabbed Peter’s hand and dragged him back inside, where Peter B. and Miles sat on the couch and flashed you apologetic smiles after you barged in.

“Sorry. I’ll call a cab for him,” Peter said behind you. You waved your hand at him, shrugging and mumbling ‘it’s okay’.

“Is it over?” Miles asked, trying to look out the window from the sofa. You nodded. “Okay, can we finally go over the plan—”

Peter took off his mask, disheveling his dark hair. “Why did you try to keep this from me?” You turned around and rubbed your face, slightly frustrated.

“Because I didn’t want what just happened to happen.”

“What? Me telling him to scram off since you wouldn’t?”

“Peter, I told you: I don’t want anyone to know about this.” You gestured between you two. You’d had this conversation before, and he understood your reasoning. He truly did. His appearance, it screamed at the top of its lungs the truth that he did not belong there. It simply was obvious, unmistakable. However, now that he’d curbed the restraint he’d created for himself once, his authentic feelings and mouth were loose, completely out of his control.

“He wasn’t going to stop bugging you!” He pointed out the window. “What if he did something worse in the future?”

“But now he’s gonna tell other people that I’m seeing someone!”

“And so what?”

You laughed, your brows furrowed. “They’re gonna want to meet you! What am I gonna do, then? ‘Ah, yes, meet my boyfriend from the 1930s!’”

Again, you noticed that irritation in his features. But all of a sudden, it was clear that it was more than just annoyance.

Jealousy. He was jealous.

“All right, then! I want other people to know who your real daddy is!” He exclaimed, his eyebrows lifted and his hands on his waist.

You heard Peter B. and Miles explode, both shouting ‘whoa!’ while you sputtered and sensed your cheeks blazing.

“Yo, gross! Keep it in the bedroom!”

“We have a minor in here, please!”

Peter’s sight jumped between the three of you, his expression the definition of puzzlement as you covered your face with your hands and Peter B. and Miles continued feeding your embarrassment with their comments. “W-what? What did I say?” He stuttered, looking at you helplessly.

You peeked one eye up at him, laughing. “Pete, baby…”

Needless to say, after you updated Peter on slang, his flushed self couldn’t quite concentrate as Miles went over the plan.

#spider noir x reader #spider man noir x reader #spider noir x you #spider noir imagine #spider noir one shot #spider noir fan fic #fan fiction #spider man #peter parker #spider noir x y/n #fem! reader #male!reader #gender neutral #spider man: into the spider verse #sm: itsv #itsv fan fic #marvel

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sierraraeck · 3 years

Text

Recovery

Spencer x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Now that everything has settled down, will Spencer and Aundreya ever get their happy ending? Story twenty-five.

Category: Fluff with your weekly dose of angst mixed in.

Warnings: Cussing. Drinking. Brief mention of a dead body and drug use.

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: I don’t really remember what Rossi’s mansion looks like, so just go with me.

I woke up.

It probably doesn’t seem revolutionary, but that’s all that happened. For once, all I did was wake up. No glass shattering, phone bussing, table crashing, or blood spilling involved. Just slowly opening my eyes, looking around, and checking the time.

11:27? Holy shit did I take sleeping pills and not remember?

Rolling out of bed, I padded out of Spencer’s bedroom. “Good morning, sleepy head,” he sang. But that was not Spencer’s voice teasing me. I turned the corner and saw Derek standing in the kitchen with Spencer. I gave him a confused look and he gave me a gigantic grin, “I was supposed to take pretty boy out to lunch today, but it seems his company kept him away.”

My voice sounded raspy, “You could’ve just gone. I would’ve been okay.”

“Yeah, but I think you’ve had enough surprises for forty lifetimes. I figured I didn’t need to add on to that,” Spencer smiled.

“Plus, I didn’t mind coming over,” Derek shrugged, “Nice morning voice by the way.”

I cleared my throat, “Just because I woke up two minutes ago does not mean I can’t still kick your ass.”

“A morning attitude too, huh?” he wiggled his eyebrows at me. “I’ll take my chances.”

I was still groggy, my body not knowing what to do with this much sleep, and filled up a glass of water. I leaned up against the counter next to Spencer, opposite Derek. The two of them were eating a freshly made plate of breakfast, and when Spencer caught me looking at his, he said, “There’s another plate in the microwave if you want it.” I nodded.

I don’t know why it hit me then, but it was like a wave of knowledge that just slapped me in the face. There’s a dead fucking body probably rotting in my living room right now. I paused mid step, then turned to set my water glass down on the counter, trying not to panic. “Thank you for the offer, but I better get home.”

I started heading toward the door and Derek joked, “Looking like that?”

I spun around to face him, “I said I’d kick your ass.”

He laughed and walked after me, shutting the door the moment I opened it, “We took care of it.”

I furrowed my brows, “What? What do you mean, what are you talking about?”

“Slow down,” he rolled his eyes, “We. Took. Care of it.” When I was still looking at him bewildered, he motioned for me to return to the kitchen, “Eat your breakfast.”

“I-I don’t understand,” I shook my head.

“Emily and I went to check out your place after you made that little comment to us. We saw that it could use a little cleaning up, let’s say. So we called some of your friends, Deen and the big guys, and the five of us picked some things up,” he explained so casually, as if we weren’t talking about two federal agents working with my criminal friends to get rid of a dead man.

I felt weird but there was nothing I could do about it. Not like I would’ve done anything about it. I was honestly relieved that they cleaned up for me because I really didn’t want to have to deal with another problem. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Derek shrugged, “No problem.”

I offered a small laugh at the absurdity of that, and Spencer looked between the two of us absolutely confused. It was kind of adorable. “What are you talking about?”

I was about to answer when Derek stepped in, “You know how her apartment looked after all of those break ins. Now that we’re assuming those won’t happen anymore, we decided to clean it up for her.”

I gave Derek a look as if to say ‘You’re not going to tell him?’ Why would he lie for me? Derek ignored my gaze.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Spencer said, shyly smiling.

“Yes it was,” I agreed. I grabbed the plate of bacon, eggs, and toast out of the microwave. It has cooled down a little, closer to room temperature, but it was better than most other breakfasts I’d had. Usually I didn’t have time for food at all. “Derek, this is great.”

Spencer dropped his fork and looked at me offended, “Why did you just assume it was him?”

Derek laughed and I pressed my lips together, trying to hide a smile, “It’s just … You’re a chemistry guy, so baking works for you. Cooking, on the other hand…” I gave him a sarcastic grimace.

“Alright, fine, I get it,” Spencer tried to act annoyed, but I could tell he was having a bit of fun.

“Nothing personal, pretty boy,” Derek said, stabbing another bite of eggs. “I just know my breakfast.”

I bit into the bacon and hummed, “Yeah. Definitely.”

“How are the two of you?” Derek asked after a few seconds had passed.

I held my breath for a moment, thinking he was referencing an us that we hadn’t exactly talked about, but Spencer answered, “Considering everything, not too bad. It’s better knowing that we all made it out safely.”

Oh, that’s what we’re talking about. Derek shifted his gaze to me, “As well as can be expected. I actually got the best night of sleep I can remember. I’ve never gotten over twelve hours of sleep before. I honestly think he gave me a sleeping pill or something,” I said, gesturing to Spencer.

“I can assure you, I did not,” he said.

“That’s good to hear. To add on to the good news, I have a surprise for the both of you,” Derek said. Spencer and I exchanged a look. “We have the next week off.”

“Thank god,” I started to say, before he’d even completely finished.

“I know,” Derek agreed with my reaction, “After everything that went on, which personally included our team, they thought it would be a good idea for all of us to take some time.”

“That’s fantastic,” I sighed in relief.

“After paperwork tomorrow,” Derek finished. I groaned.

My shoulders sagged and Spencer exclaimed, “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately,” Derek frowned, “But it’ll be over before you know it.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

I walked into the office the next day, on time, might I add, but everyone else was already there getting a jump start on their work. I guess I missed the memo.

“How’d you sleep, Sleeping Beauty?” Derek teased as I passed his desk.

“I slept well,” I replied.

Emily, who was standing right next to him, jumped at the opportunity, “We can literally see the sleep in your eyes and the dark circles around them.”

I fired back, “Well you asked how I slept… and for the 20 minutes I did sleep, I slept well.” I gave them a mock grin.

“What happened? I thought you were soaking up the Zs,” Derek playfully asked.

“Payback I guess for getting more than I’m used to,” I shrugged as I finally sat down at my desk.

The day was decidedly not over before I knew it. It was excruciatingly slow, and everything was boring. Well, everything except Spencer.

He and I made frequent coffee runs and would always stop to talk while we were over there. I would look over at him when I was bored or couldn’t focus, and sometimes we’d make eye contact and he’d offer a small smile. It was nice to have someone who could understand how hard it was to consult on other cases after everything we’d just been through.

I started getting really jumpy, bouncing my leg as irritation set in. I decided I couldn’t sit in that damn chair looking at those damn files for a moment longer, suddenly pushing out from my desk, maybe a little too forcefully, and making my way to the bathroom. I walked over to the sinks and rested my hands on the counter, staring into the mirror. I splashed some water over my face, then wiped it away with the sleeve of my shirt. There was a knock at the door and I yelled, “Occupied!”

“Aundreya, it’s Spencer,” he voice rang through the door.

“Oh, sorry Spencer,” I said, opening the door.

“What’s going on?” he asked, slightly peering behind me.

“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute,” I assured, about to shut the door on him.

He put his foot in the way and stared through me with those sparkling eyes. “Don’t hide. Not from me.”

I knew he wasn’t going to give up, so I did. “I’m just… distracted. It’s hard to focus and I feel like I have a lot I still need to get done,” I confessed.

“Doing the write up of what happened in the past 48 hours isn’t easy,” he acknowledged. He looked around nervously, and I realized that we were having this conversation half in and half out of the bathroom, so I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in, locking the door behind us.

“Yeah, especially since I haven’t even gotten there yet.” He gave me a look that invited me to continue, so I added, “I’ve been dreading it. I’ve already been replaying and replaying what happened, and by now I can’t tell the difference between my nightmares, hallucinations, and reality.”

“You just need a break,” he said, “That’s understandable. Take your time, and if it makes you feel any better, we can go through the report together. I have one that I have to fill out, too. We can see if we can convince the rest of them to take some of our other files.”

I gave him a slight smile at the offer, then asked, “You have to fill one out, too?”

“We all have to, actually,” he informed me, “The rest have to describe what they saw and heard, Hotch has to explain his decision, and we have to report everything that went on in that room.”

“Wow, I guess we’re all having a shitty day,” I pointed out.

“So do you want to do them together?” he offered again, “It might help us fact check each other.”

“Sure. I’ll grab my file and meet you in the round table room,” I suggested.

“Aundreya…” he trailed off. I gave him a confused look. He sighed, “I’m not going to leave you here.”

Then I understood the other reason he was there. He thinks I’m getting addicted, like what happened to him. It explained all the shifty looking around and examining me. “I’m not doing that. I promise,” I assured. I just wanted one more moment to compose myself before having to face reality again.

“Just,” he broke eye contact with me, “Just come with me. Now?”

I relented, “Okay.”

I followed him out of the bathroom, grabbed my file, and met him in the round table room.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

“This was the longest day,” Derek complained, shaking his head.

“It’ll be over before you know it,” I mocked in my best Derek Morgan impression.

“Very funny, Sleeping Beauty,” he stuck his tongue out at me.

“Dinner at my place?” Rossi offered.

“In an hour?” Emily asked. I checked the time. It was almost five. I could wait until six to eat.

“Give me another half hour and you’ll be eating the best lasagna of your life,” Rossi smirked.

Emily cocked her head to the side, “Alright. I can wait.”

“Can Will and the boys come?” JJ asked.

“Of course,” Rossi answered, as if it was an absurd question, “Actually, you should all bring someone.”

Emily laughed, “How about Sergio?”

“Not sure if he’d like lasagna,” Rossi raised an eyebrow.

“We’ll see Savannah, right?” JJ asked Derek.

“Yes ma’am, as long as she isn’t paged,” Derek smiled.

“Savannah?” I questioned.

“Oh, just some hot nurse Derek has managed to pick up,” Emily teased.

“Hey,” Derek called, “I’ll have you know that she is the smartest, kindest, and most beautiful person I know.”

“More than me?” Penelope pouted as she entered the bullpen.

“Don’t be silly baby girl,” Derek assured, “You’re geniuses in different ways.”

This made Penelope smile like a schoolgirl. I’d always loved their outrageous banter.

“Speaking of geniuses,” JJ segued, “What about you Spence?”

For the first time in this conversation, Spencer looked up. We all knew he hadn’t been listening, “What about me?”

“Are we going to be seeing Maeve tonight?” JJ asked.

Spencer’s mouth hung open, struggling for words when Derek saved him, “No pressure, kid. We just haven’t seen her in awhile, so invite her if you want.”

“Y-yeah, uh, yeah,” Spencer said, finally sounding more confident in his answer. I could tell he was doing everything he could to avoide my gaze. But I really shouldn’t have expected anything else. We went though a mutual trauma, that doesn’t fix what’s already broke.

“Cool,” JJ said, standing up from her seat on Emily’s desk, a smile plastered to her face. I didn’t think anything of it until she looked at me, her smile becoming just slightly wider. She’d never really liked me, not really. Whenever I got too close, she’d try to convince me to stay away, or challenge my intentions and how much I cared about him, or try to push Spencer in a different direction. She was protective of him, but for reasons I no longer understood. If she felt something for him, she needed to back off because she was married, and if she cared about his feelings, she needed to let him make his own decisions about what he wanted. She clearly had no faith in him to make the right decision for himself.

But I had to have more trust in him than she did. I wasn’t about me over Maeve. It was about Spencer. I had to believe he’d do what was best for him whether that included me or not.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

This was a bad idea.

There was no way I was going to be able to sit through the entire dinner watching Spencer and Maeve and everyone else chat it up with them.

This was a very bad idea. I need a drink.

Rossi was not kidding when he said he lived in a mansion. The place was enormous. There were elaborate marble stairs that led up to the dark wood double doors with windows that looked as intricate as stained-glass. Behind those doors were about three different versions of living rooms: there were couches and a tv to left with a bar on the right, down the hall to the right was another set of loveseats and chairs with a grand piano, and there was a massive dining room table across from the kitchen. The kitchen. Don’t get me started on that man’s kitchen. I wouldn’t even know how to use over half of the things in there.

Everyone was standing by his bar-slash-counter thing, and my aim was to get away from everyone, so I figured I’d head to said kitchen. Rossi was on the opposite side of the island, searing some vegetables in a saute pan.

“How’s it going in here?” I asked, hopping up to sit on the island.

“My expensive whiskey is in that cabinet over there,” he pointed to one on his right, not even glancing up at me.

I chuckled, reaching down to grab it before looking for two glasses to pour it into. Rossi did not help me out on that one, enjoying the show of me opening every single cabinet until I found some that I decided would suffice. I poured some into each glass, pushing one across the granite countertop. Rossi clinked our glasses together, then took a swig.

“I’d offer to help, but I have no idea what a kitchen is,” I commented.

He laughed, “That’s good, because I wouldn’t let you. I’m a control freak when it comes to my food.”

“Me too,” I smiled, “But not nearly in the same way.”

“I’d go for possessive,” he nodded. I shrugged in agreement. “What’s the problem?”

“No problem,” I said, taking another sip.

“People don’t just come in here looking for my expensive stuff without a problem,” he pointed out.

I just looked at him. “You know why I’m here, otherwise you wouldn’t have known what I was after when I first walked in.”

“Touche,” he admitted, “But you’re distracting me from my cooking. I will not serve these people burnt food, so you should go back out there.”

“Bullshit,” I countered, “You could cook with your eyes shut and hands tied behind your back.”

He dodged my quip and encouraged, “Go back out there and be social.”

“I am being social. I’m talking to you,” I pointed out.

“I’m not the most social guy, either. I’m by myself in a kitchen, usually how I like it, but we have company over, so I think we should interact with them.”

“We have company over?” I asked smugly.

“You did live here on and off for a while,” he acknowledged.

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“No,” he glanced over at me, smirking, “Now go back out there.”

I crossed my arm and pretended to pout like a child, “I don’t wanna.”

“Just go, talk to a few people,” he gave me a pointed look, “Talk to him.”

“Them,” I corrected.

“Exactly, the more the merrier.”

I groaned, downing the rest of my drink before shuffling back out the kitchen. Before I left, I called, “Come get me if you need anything. Like anything. Cleaning, pouring another drink-”

“Get the fuck out of my kitchen.”

I rolled my eyes and loudly whispered, “Anything.”

I heard him mumble, “Dramatic.”

“Heard that!” When I got back out to the first living room, I looked around for someone to talk to. There were a lot of groups, it would’ve been so easy just to pick one and walk up to them, but I really didn’t feel like talking to people, especially the non-team members. I was about to pull myself together and introduce myself to Savannah when Emily saved me.

“Being single is boring,” she huffed.

“Being in a relationship is hard,” I replied. We were both leaning up against the farthest wall from the rest of the people, opposite the entry way.

“True. Why do you think I limit my relationships to cats?” she pointed out.

I gave a single laugh, “Why do you think I limit my relationships to burglars?”

“Wait, I thought you had a thing with that Mateo guy?” she asked, looking over at me.

“I did, well, I do, but,” I struggled, “I don’t know. He’s a great guy it’s just-”

“Not the person you want?” she finished.

“I guess you could say that,” I agreed. “Plus, I didn’t really think this would be his scene.”

“I would have never guessed,” she joked, “But isn’t he the face of business for you or something?”

“How’d you figure that out?”

“Have you seen his face?”

“I’ve seen more than his face,” I smirked.

That elicited a laugh, “I’m sure.”

“I know people think I’m crazy-”

“Probably because you are,” Emily cut in.

I gave her a mischievous smile and continued as if she hadn’t spoken, “But not crazy enough to bring a ring member to a federal agent get-together. Even though he is good at schmoozing, I just figured it wouldn’t feel right. I mean, I didn’t know how you’d all react to me bringing him and vice versa.”

“You weren’t worried about all of us though.” God I hate profilers.

“I just didn’t think it would be a good idea, that’s all,” I defended.

“Apparently Penelope did,” Emily mused, nodding her head toward the door. Stepping in was Penelope in a very lavish pink and yellow dress with Deen at her arm.

“Oh my god,” I said, shaking my head as the two of them approached us. “Deen, you’re here. I can’t believe you let her drag you to this.”

“She could drag me anywhere,” he smiled, and the three of us laughed.

“I know. So clearly no heart attacks yet,” I teased.

“What?” Penelope intervened.

“Aundreya, for real?” Deen’s shoulders tensed a little.

I gave him a cheeky smile and wiggled my eyebrows, turning to Penelope, “Back when we were at the hospital, you and I, Deen and I talked about him asking you on a date. He told me that he nearly choked when he saw you in work attire and he’d probably have a heart attack and die if you ever dressed up for a date.”

“Oh no, that definitely happened the first time,” Penelope confirmed, nodding her head enthusiastically.

“I’m my defense … look at her,” Deen said.

“Oh I know,” Penelope said as Deen kissed her on the cheek. I could tell they were getting caught up in their own world, and felt like I was intruding somehow.

“Well I am going to leave the two of you to it,” I started moving away as Penelope giggled.

I didn’t know where I was going, but I found myself walking toward the bar again when Derek caught me. “Aundreya, I want you to meet Savannah.”

I was going to shake her hand, but she went in for a hug instead. I obliged, trying not to seem awkward about it. I asked about her job and she told me all about how much she loved helping people and how amazing her coworkers were, and the whole time Derek was just giving her the biggest heart eyes I’d ever seen. I was going to call him out on it, but Savannah was a smart woman, I’m sure she saw that for herself. Plus, when I was contemplating embarrassing Derek, Spencer and Maeve mosied on over.

I tried, I really did, but I’m terrible at composing my more bitter emotions.

“Hey guys,” Derek sang, “It’s great to see you, Maeve.” They hugged and he introduced her to Savannah and then the eyes were on me.

“Hey, Maeve,” I cautiously greeted, “It’s been a while.”

“Yes it has, and I’m so happy to see that you’re doing well,” she said, scanning me. I still had a lot of injuries, but I opted to wear something that would cover all of me except my face, which I used a heavy load of makeup on. I’m sure the ladies could tell that I was trying to cover something up, but it was better than them seeing the actual bruises and cuts.

“Thanks and same to you,” I gestured toward her with my hand.

“So, Maeve, tell me what you do,” Savannah prompted.

“Oh, well I’m a geneticist. I’ve recently been working on a new project in the lab that’s been eating up most of my time. Luckily, Spencer’s been able to help when he has the time,” Maeve smiled, patting Spencer on the chest.

“That’s cool that the two of you can work on something together,” Savannah said.

“Yeah it has been really nice. We’re able to bounce ideas off of each other, and it’s refreshing that we both understand the time commitment of the other’s job, including late nights and being away for a while. I’m sure you and Derek get it, you’re a nurse, right?” Maeve asked.

I started zoning out, thinking about what Spencer had told me about the two of them. Maeve seemed as happy as ever, and didn’t act like they were having any sort of problems at all. The way Spencer made it sound, it was a mostly mutual decision to take a step back from each other with Maeve not staying over as much. However, based off of what I’d just heard from her, she was just staying late or overnight at work. Two very different narratives.

Is Maeve covering up their issues with work? Was Spencer telling me the whole truth? If things were going good and they were happy together, why was he acting sad when he told me that they weren’t spending as much time together? What is going on?

I was confused and not invested in the conversation at all, which didn’t go unnoticed. Spencer side-eyed me, but I slunk away before things could get weirder.

I had just grabbed another drink when Spencer approached me. “I can tell you’re upset-”

“I’m not,” I nonchalantly interjected, “Just confused.”

“The reason I didn’t-”

“Dinner is served!” Rossi announced, and everyone started filing into the dining room.

I saw Maeve giving Spencer doe eyes from across the room as Derek and Savannah moved toward their seats.

“No need. Your very happy and invested girlfriend is waiting for you,” I rushed, before sliding past him toward the dining room. I took a seat between Emily and Tara (it was the single ladies section of the table apparently), and lucky for me, I was across from Spencer and Maeve. Typical.

“I’d like to make a toast,” Rossi announced, clinking his glass. We all fell silent, “I was just joking earlier that usually, I like cooking in my kitchen by myself. And while that still reigns true, especially because I’m not sure how many of you have ever seen a kitchen before,” that gained some laughter and he winked at me, “I realized that gatherings like these are very special. Having everyone here in the same room with their loved ones is something taken too often for granted. Here’s to family.”

A chorus of ‘to family’ and ‘cheers’ rang throughout the room. Dishes started being passed around as everyone scooped out their portion, casual conversation breaking out.

After a few minutes of that, it was Derek who was clinking his glass. “We have an announcement to make, if that’s alright with you.”

We waited expectantly as him and Savannah smiled at each other. Savannah held us in suspense for another moment before saying, “We’re pregnant!”

As people, including myself, started cheering and giving our congratulations, Derek spoke over us, “And I’ve just completed renovation on my eighth property, which is where we will be moving into.”

“Wow guys, that’s amazing,” JJ said, taking Savannah’s hand from across the table.

“I’m really happy for you,” Tara said, “Have you thought of any names?”

“For the house?” Derek joked, “I was thinking Ted, or Bill, or maybe-”

“No, we haven’t,” Savannah nudged Derek, causing him to laugh.

“Well, while we’re sharing big news,” Maeve drew our attention to her and Spencer, “We’ve found a little house to move into as well.”

Just when I started enjoying this meal.

“That’s amazing you guys, where is it?” Emily asked her. I wasn’t paying attention to her answer though. I was just staring at Spencer, who was trying and failing to act calm, the discomfort evident in his eyes.

My attention wasn’t drawn back to the conversation until Maeve said, “And Aundreya, I just wanted to thank you again, because-”

“Don’t thank me.” I am really fucking terrible at keeping it together. My voice was too harsh. I tried to save myself by adding, “I was just doing my job,” but I couldn’t resist the line that followed, “I’m only now realizing how much that’s cost me.”

No one said a word, the once bubbly mood of the group being ground under the sole of my shoe in seconds. But it actually wasn’t me who got things moving again. It was Spencer. He stood up, dropping his napkin on the table, “I can’t do this.”

He stormed out of the dining room, Maeve on his heels in seconds calling ‘baby’ after him. I don’t know why I stood up, but the moment I did, I sat back down.

“Nuh uh,” Emily said, yanking me to my feet again, “Get up, bitch.”

“What the hell?”

“I told you to just tell him how you really felt!” Emily exclaimed.

“I told you to stop running,” Aaron nonchalantly added.

“I told you to stop torturing yourself,” Rossi added onto the list.

“I basically asked you if you loved him, and you didn’t say no,” Penelope grinned.

“And I told you that you meant everything to him,” Derek shrugged, leaning back in his chair, “But I also said you were just stubborn, blind, and stupid.”

“Derek!” Savannah whacked him.

“What?” he put his hands up, “I came home and told you all this. You agreed with me at the time!”

“Damn, I get it,” I said, ending the list of cues I’d missed or deliberately ignored.

“Not like anybody listened to me,” JJ interjected, “But I said this was a bad idea.”

“Not now, JJ,” Rossi scolded. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms.

Emily put both hands on my shoulders, “I swear to god, Aundreya, if you don’t go out there right now and fix this by telling him the truth, you will have a whole new thing coming for you.”

I looked at her, and then at the rest of the on-edge, dare I say excited, faces of everyone sitting at the table (minus JJ), and relented, “If I didn’t fucking love you all so goddamned much, I’d hit every single one of you.”

“That’s the spirit,” Derek cheered. Savannah gave him another look, but then smiled to herself, shaking her head.

I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, then marched outside. I looked around trying to find Spencer and Maeve for a moment before seeing them halfway up the street. I started a slight jog toward them and caught the end of Spencer’s sentence, “-but I do.”

His eyes flicked to mine and Maeve turned so she could look at us both. “Don’t you see. The way you’re looking at her right now is not the same way you look at me.” Spencer was about to argue, but she held her hand up. “Spencer, I’m not mad. I’m hurt because I’ve always had this feeling that you loved her more than me, I’m just sad it took you this long to realize it, too.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Maeve,” Spencer regretfully whispered, looking down at his hands.

“I know,” she melodically responded, “But I want you to be happy. You two should be together after everything you’ve been though. I know that the majority of the time you were spending with me, you were thinking about her, if not about where she was and how you could find and save her, then just about being with her. I would be hurting you if I got in the way of that.”

“Maeve, I-”

“I know,” she cut him off again, “But this time, to her.” Both of them looked at me expectantly. Spencer’s eyes flickered between Maeve and myself, clearly uncertain of what to do. “Go ahead, it’s not going to hurt me anymore.”

“Aundreya,” he said. He hesitated a moment longer, giving regretful eyes to Maeve before turning his attention back to me. “I love you.”

My heart hammered and I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing. “And you?” Maeve prompted.

And then it all came tumbling out, “First, Maeve, I wanted to apologize. You’re an exceptional woman and I’ve been nothing but bitter towards you. You didn’t deserve that because you always handled everything with such grace and I can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to get shamed by me for being with him and how it must feel right now-”

“Thank you,” she stopped me. “I just want Spencer to be happy, and if that’s with you, then that’s what should happen. I just need to know that you’ll take care of him.”

“Absolutely,” I assured her.

“Good,” she smiled sadly. She started walking away but paused for just a second when she was right next to me. “I believe it’s your turn.”

I turned my gaze back to Spencer, who looked broken and hopeful all at the same time. God I was going to pass out. “Spencer, I should have told you this a long time ago, but I was too scared. You had Maeve and I thought that I wasn’t good for you.”

“You are good for me,” he said, taking my hands. “Please, just say it.”

“I love you, Spencer Reid,” I confessed, and before I could even release a sigh of relief, my breath was taken away. His lips were on mine before I could blink, like every cell in his body was waiting for this moment. It was one of those time-stopping kisses that made me feel like the only other person in existence. His hands were cupping my face and mine were around his neck, moving to his hair. His tongue slid into my mouth as I sighed into him. I felt warm and light, but I couldn’t tell if it was the feeling or the lack of oxygen to my brain. Not like it mattered to me. When we pulled away, there was some hooting and hollering coming from the general direction of Rossi’s house. I should’ve known better when they encouraged me to go out there. I went back in for another kiss, moving one of my hands away from Spencer’s curls for a few seconds in order to flip the rest of them off. I heard some laughing, so I knew they’d seen it.

“I waited way too to do that,” I mumbled against his lips, trying to contain the grin that turned my lips.

“Me too,” Spencer said, slightly breathless.

As we walked back toward the house, arms around each other, Derek was giving us a slow clap, “Well if it isn’t pretty boy and gang girl.”

“I said kick your ass, Morgan, and I am more than awake now,” I reminded him.

“I’d say it’s about damn time,” Rossi’s voice cut in, sounding annoyed, but the smirk on his face was all I needed to know.

“That’s for sure,” Emily playfully agreed, smiling brightly, “But they’re good together.”

“Bullshit,” Derek corrected, “They’re great.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

A/N2: I hope you all enjoyed this series and thank you so much for taking this crazy ride with Aundreya! I had a ton of fun writing it and I hope you had just as much reading it. For those of you interested, I still have an epilogue full of ideas that floated into my head about how their life would be like after they finally got together, and what happens with some of the rest of the characters, along with what I hope to be a very steamy bonus chapter! Otherwise, this was the end for these two stubborn, trouble-bound lovebirds. Please talk to me or send me asks about your thoughts on the ending or anything else that happened during their story! Much love! ❤️🥰

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@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

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phantom-of-notre-dame · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/5 Fandom: The Grinning Man - Philips & Teitler/Grose & Morris & Philips & Teitler/Grose, The Man Who Laughs (1928) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Grinpayne/Gwynplaine, Ursus (TGM), Osric (TGM) Summary: A mlm retelling of The Grinning Man Words: 2822

Here is chapter one of my first Grinning Man fic. I am very nervous about this, but I’m gonna take the leap. I’ll also post it under the cut. Enjoy!

“Father, tell me more about the capital.”

“What more is there to tell you, boy? It smells of piss and everyone there would beat you within an inch of your life and charge you for the pleasure.”

“I’m sorry, but it just seems so exciting. We’ve been doing the show for ages, and the Stokes-Croft Faire is the biggest fair in the land! We should have done this ages ago.”

“We won’t be staying long. Three or four days, really.”

“What? Father, but – why?”

“We’re so close to the new world, Grinpayne. Surely you’re anxious to get there.”

“Yes… yes, of course. But – don’t you think we could find answers here? About…” Nimble fingers lightly pressed the bandages on his cheek. Damn, I’ll have to change them soon.

“Let’s not worry about that, boy. We’ve made a fine life for ourselves. We must bury our pain.”

Grinpayne didn’t respond. Ursus had been saying the same thing for 20 years. He couldn’t remember the face of the man who cut him. It had been so close to him, but when the scene replayed in his nightmares, the face was blank, blanketed in shadow. Yet, Grinpayne could feel that the answers were close. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜

“So, you’re the famous Grinning Man. Expected you to be… taller.” The Freak-Wrangler, who had introduced himself as Osric, briefly looked Grinpayne up and down. It wasn’t the first time the Grinning Man had gotten a comment like that. In an attempt to not focus on his carved face, they made some comment about his height. He was either too tall or not tall enough. He personally thought he was this side of too tall. Were he… normal, this would be his main insecurity. Huh, if only…

“This has been a fun chat, but are we clear to set up?” Despite spending his entire career in fairs and festivals, Ursus had very little tolerance for shenanigans.

“Alright, alright. You’re over in Lot 5. ‘Ere’s a map.” Osric thrust some papers in their general direction, already focused on something else. Grinpayne took them before they could fall in the mud.

Once the men had inspected the lot, they began setting up their cart. The Stokes-Croft Faire was not open to the public this early in the day, but there were still people bustling about, freaks of all sorts. Stokes-Croft truly had a wondrous collection. Unlike most of the fairs Grinpayne had performed at, everything and everyone seemed real. He couldn’t quite tell when he had developed an eye for it, but it was a game he liked to play.

The only attraction that interested him was the one across from his own. The Blind Seer. This one was new. He had seen many seers, and many tricks with the blind, of course. But never a combination of the two. He might go over and say hello.

Grinpayne’s face began to burn. It wasn’t bad enough to require Crimson Lethe, not yet. The concoction his father makes him doesn’t taste as bad as it used to. Or maybe it just takes 20 years to get to used to.

“Why don’t you look around, Grinpayne? We have a few hours to spare.” Ursus looked… distracted. He knew his father hated the capital, but how far did that hatred go? Grinpayne wasn’t going to argue, so he made his way to the seer’s stand. Who knows, maybe this blind seer was the real deal.

The tent was dark, the smells of incense strong. Not much in the way of originality.

“Hello?” Grinpayne called out.

“We’re closed.” A deep voice responded. The voice’s owner came into Grinpayne’s view. If he thought he was tall, this man was a giant. The glare presented to him proved that his man wasn’t a blind seer.

“Oh. No, forgive me, I just wanted… to say hello –”

“Augustine? Don’t be rude. Who’s there?” The second voice belonged to a second man, not nearly as gruff as the first.

“I’m Grinpayne. I’m set up just across the path… The Grinning Man?”

“Ah, yes. Osric said you’d be arriving today.” The seer finally appeared. The first thing Grinpayne noticed was the man’s white hair. It suits him.

“You’ll have to forgive Augustine. We’re still working on being kind to strangers. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dominic.” He held out his hand a little too far Grinpayne’s left, but he accepted the handshake. It was difficult to tell in the dim lighting of the tent, but the younger man’s skin was as white as his hair. It still suited him.

“I’ve never come across a blind seer before. If you don’t mind my asking, how does your act work?”

“It’s… difficult to explain. I can hear thoughts. They float around people’s heads.”

“So, you can tell what I’m thinking right now?”

“Not exactly. It’s the deeper thoughts and feelings, the things people tend to hide.” Oh, this was a bad idea.

“It must seem like a bunch of nonsense, I know.” Dominic continued.

“No, it doesn’t. I’ve seen a lot of bizarre and outright ridiculous roadside attractions, but yours – makes sense. It’s not flashy.”

“You’ve seen so many?”

“I’ve been traveling for 20 years. I’ve seen enough to last a hundred lifetimes.”

“Hmm. I should like to travel. I’ve lived here my whole life. How come you’ve never come to Stokes-Croft before?”

“My father, Ursus, doesn’t like the capital..” Grinpayne had never met anyone as inquisitive as Dominic before. Everything in him was screaming to leave, to stop answering all these

questions, but he found himself wanting to stay. There was something about Dominic that intrigued him, left him with a sinking-rock feeling in his stomach. But the feeling wasn’t entirely unpleasant. What the hell is happening to me?

“I… I should go,” Grinpayne muttered. He could also feel the nerves in his face begin to burn more.

“Of course,” Dominic replied, making his way to the table that sat at the back of the tent. “You should come by after the fair closes. Maybe I’ll read your palm.”

Grinpayne chuckled. “Su… Sure, yeah. Um, it was nice to meet you, both of you.” He spared a quick glance at Augustine, whose glare had remained just as sharp.

“Goodbye for now,” Dominic called with a smile as Grinpayne quickly exited the tent.

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“You’re back so quickly. What happened?” Ursus was busy mixing concoctions. On a good day, he could sell eight bottles.

“I, I need Crimson Lethe.” Grinpayne didn’t like drinking the medicine in public. It had led to too many questions before.

“Here.” Ursus dug the bottle out of his coat pocket and handed it to Grinpayne. “Take a little more than normal. I think we could do a couple of extra shows tonight.” Grinpayne nodded and swallowed capful after capful after capful until his face felt numb. With a relieved sigh, he put the bottle in his own pocket. Mojo slept in a corner.

“D’ya get a good look at the competition? Normally, I’m not worried, but this is the capital. We need to really stand out.”

“Not really. I think it helps that I’m a new attraction.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re leaving before the novelty wears off.” Grinpayne was too numb to argue, but he still wanted to stay. He knew in his core that so much could be found here. There was something so familiar about the capital. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t been here before. Surely, he had… he…

“Grinpayne, helped me unload the boxes. We have to make sure the marionette strings aren’t too tangled.” He would never admit it to Ursus, but he hated the puppet of him as a child. The eyes were too lifeless, too mocking. But the show must go on. Life must go on.

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The midnight bell signaled the close of the fair. Drunken stragglers, led by Osric, stumbled towards their homes. Or possibly another tavern, who really cares? Grinpayne was taking Mojo for a walk. The wolf had performed well, but he was smarter than most beasts. How else would the beast have led him to safety all those years ago?

Dominic’s tent came into view. Grinpayne knew he shouldn’t, but Dominic had invited him.

“What do you say, Mojo? Shall we say hello? Come on, you’ll like him.” With a click of Grinpayne’s tongue. The wolf followed the Grinning Man into the Blind Seer’s tent.

“Hello? Dominic? It’s Grinpayne.” There was some scuffling before Dominic’s shape came into view.

“Hello.” Grinpayne could just make out the shorter man’s bright hair, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Is there someone else with you?” Dominic continued. “It almost sounds – like a dog.” Like others of his kind, Mojo was a heavy breather.

“Oh, it’s just my pet… wolf. His name is Mojo.” Who has a pet wolf? He must think I’m mad.

“That’s a nice name. Mojo… Oh God, you can’t see anything can you? Here, let me light a lamp.”

“Oh, really you don’t need to –” As Dominic placed a lamp on the table, he dug matches out of his pocket.

“Let me help.” Grinpayne knew Dominic wasn’t a child, but he didn’t want anyone getting hurt. The younger man’s hands were soft and surprisingly warm… and mesmerizing,

Grinpayne lit the lamp and was finally able to see Dominic clearly for the first time. His eyes were the lightest blue, and his cheekbones were sharp. If Grinpayne were the superstitious type, he’d wager that Dominic was some kind of fae. It would explain the … attraction Grinpayne felt, why he was drawn to this man. It couldn’t be anything else. Could it?

“So how did your show do? The first day is always the trickiest.”

“More people kept showing up as the night went on. I even think a prince, or a lord, or something came. And their reaction was… different than it usually is.”

“A good different, I hope.”

“I… I’m not sure yet. And you? Your night was successful?”

“Pretty average. About 100 people.”

“100 is average? You should tell me your secret.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.”

Grinpayne chuckled dryly as he looked around the tent. Something was missing… Where…?

“Where’s your – friend?” Grinpayne’s words were beginning to slur.

“Oh, Augustine? He was just visiting when you came by this afternoon. Osric is always sending someone to check on me. He’s a little overprotective.”

“Is he your brother, or…?”

“Practically. He saved me, when I was a baby. Have you eaten? I have some bread and cheese.” Who is this person? Grinpayne watched Dominic navigate the tent. The way his hands danced across the tabletops reminded Grinpayne of flowing water. A single pinprick of pain in the taller man’s cheek pulled him out of his head.

Dominic returned to where he had previously been sitting with a purple kerchief. When he untied it, the most delicious smells filled the air. Had Dominic offered food to be polite, it could he really sense how hungry Grinpayne had been?

“I just realized I never asked what your act is.”

“Oh, uh, my father and I… we do puppet shows. And he makes these, uh, potions. Cures for – everything. Colds, warts, once he made a potion to cure ingrown toenails.” Dominic’s laugh was so… him, clear and confident. Grinpayne nervously gnawed on the piece of bread he had been given.

“Puppets, huh? Tell me, what stories do you do?”

“None you would know. My father makes them all up.”

“What about The Grinning Man? That’s the name of your act, right?”

Grinpayne couldn’t be angry with him. He knew it would have come up eventually. He had been flirting with danger, and here they were. He wanted to run, but didn’t want to move.

“Um, it’s me. I’m the… Grinning Man.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”

“No, no it’s fine. I… I have a smile cut in my face.” Stop! What are you doing? Get out of here!

“I imagine it hurts terribly.” More pinpricks of pain.

“I’ve learned to manage it.” Dominic smiled in response.

“Is Mojo hungry? I think I could find him a piece of sausage.” The wolf had practically been asleep, but perked up at the mention of his name and the prospect of food. Dominic’s hands once again danced and Grinpayne was once again intrigued. Does he know how handsome he is? Surely someone’s told him.

“Tell me, in your travels, have… have you ever been to the coast?” The smaller man seemed almost embarrassed to be asking.

“Yes. Many times.”

“What’s it like? The ocean? Osric says it’s practically like the river, but that doesn’t seem right.”

“The ocean is… big. It can seem calm one moment and violent the next. And endless. Just ocean as far as the eye can see.” You idiot he can’t see! Dominic seemed to ignore the comment.

“You don’t like it?” Grinpayne wasn’t entirely sure if it was a question or a statement. But it further proved that Dominic’s gift was real.

“I’m… a little scared of it, to be honest.”

“That seems reasonable. Something so vast…”

Grinpayne had been so enraptured with Dominic and their conversation that he had forgotten that the pain returned until it was too much to ignore. He tried to stifle a cry of pain, but Dominic still heard him.

“Are you all right?”

“Y-yes, it’s just a twinge. I n– I need some of my medicine.”

Grinpayne fumbled with his pockets searching for the little bottle, the one Ursus had made him take, but his hands couldn’t navigate the layers. Mojo, sensing his companion’s pain, sprung to attention. The wolf had been trained to retrieve the bottle whenever Grinpayne’s motor skills faltered. He gently grabbed the Crimson Lethe from where it lay in his master’s pocket and brought his jaw towards Grinpayne’s hands until the man was able to get his fingers around the glass. With shaking fingers, Grinpayne opened the bottle and downed half of it in a single gulp. The familiar wave of numbness spread, and the taller man breathed a sigh of relief.

Grinpayne was suddenly overcome with embarrassment and shame. Even though Dominic couldn’t see him, surely he could feel how vulnerable he had just been. The last thing Grinpayne wanted from Dominic was pity.

I’m… I’m sorry for that. I’m – usually more careful with taking my medicine.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Dominic replied. “I shouldn’t have been keeping you so long.”

“No!” Grinpayne cried. “You did nothing wrong. I like talking to you.”

“You’re good company to have, Grinpayne.” Dominic suddenly paused. His hands flexed repeatedly, his features focused.

“Is something the matter?” Grinpayne asked.

“Your thoughts were so loud before. And then they became so still… I’ve never heard thoughts quite like yours before. They scorch the air around you.”

“Is – that a good thing, or…?”

“It’s not good or bad. It’s just different, unique.” Dominic looked fascinated. Grinpayne turned his apparently scorching thoughts to the man across from him and how perplexed by him he found himself.

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The two men spent the rest of the night talking. Grinpayne decided to tell the story of the bride who ate so much salt on her wedding day that when she ended up crying tears of joy, her tears were so salty that they burned whatever surface they landed on. And the story of the girl with hands so soft and white like doves. They laughed at each other’s jokes. And Dominic told more about how Osric saved him from the snow and ice. Grinpayne felt at peace for the first time in a long time.

When Grinpayne and Mojo finally returned to their cart, the sun’s first rays were showing. Dominic had sent the pair off with more food and a dazzling smile. Grinpayne wouldn’t admit it, but he was a little starstruck. This man had brought out unfamiliar feelings, so unfamiliar that Grinpayne couldn’t put a name to them. The only feelings he could recognize were the pinpricks of pain returning.

“Where the hell were you, boy? I was worried sick!” Ursus grabbed his son’s collar, pulling him close in a fatherly embrace.

“I – I’m sorry. I was just across the path. The Blind Seer, remember?”

“Hmm. You were out all night with a blind man?”

“Yes,” Grinpayne replied incredulously. Did Ursus really not believe him?

“I’m sorry, my boy. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. It’s just… easy to get lost in the capital. I don’t want you in any harm, is all.” Grinpayne noticed how odd his father was acting. What is he hiding? Would Dominic be able to figure it out?

“Take your medicine and get some sleep. We have a full day of performances ahead.” Grinpayne drank the remainder of the bottle in his pocket and fell asleep almost instantly.

The “Grinning Man” dreamt of stormy oceans, the man with the hidden face, and of Dominic.

#the grinning man #the grinning man musical #i guess i'm a writer #oh lord help me #also sorry the formatting sucks

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 50

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: sooo im sorry. forgive me. the worst is to come. :X

no request for this chapter: SEND ME SOME ASAP SO I CAN ADD THEM I NEED THEM! can be ideas that will make things bad between them too. or good. or fluff. or smut. just send me a few :)

Chapter 50 : His chapter

NIALL

I heard her wake up all night and every single time, I waited until she was asleep again to do the same. She was not sick often, except for migraines, but this time, it was bad enough for her to beg me to stay with her the next day. She turned around in bed and wrapped one of her arms around my waist, making me smile as she groaned.

"Please don't leave me alone here all day."

I brought my hand to her face, caressing her cheek gently before pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"You want me to stay here with you and watch you snore all day?" I joked, smiling more when I saw her nose raise up in a grimace.

"Yes." she let out firmly with a baby voice, making me chuckle this time.

"You're such a child, I swear!"

I felt her grip tighten around my waist and I rolled my eyes with a smile. I had no idea why but I actually enjoyed the fact that she needed me so bad. Our relationship was just getting better and I didn't want things to change. She was still insecure and I was still not totally good at not making her jealous but we managed and we were both making efforts, which was the best we could expect from each other.

I never thought it would be so tough to date my best friend. I didn't regret it, but I was still unsure of so many things that sometimes, I ended up backing away from her and hurting her. That's when she'd become even more insecure and we would just end up being trapped in a vicious circle. The fact that I was so busy was an obstacle to our relationship too. Every free moment I had, I would spend with her and I couldn't hide the fact that I missed hanging out with my friends, spending a day playing golf or just having some time for myself.

"Please, Nee."

"You're warm... you clearly have fever." I pointed out, pressing my palm on her cheek. "You need to get in the shower, darling. Stay under the lukewarm stream for about minute and come back in bed.”

"Mm no, it's too cold."

"You may feel cold but you're burning." I explained. "Come on, do that and i'll make you some tea."

"And stay here today?"

Her eyes were now half opened and she was looking up at me through her eyelashes. She was pretty and endearing and it brought an other smile to my lips.

"And stay here today."

Her lips curled and I bent down to kiss the top of her head before pulling the covers away from her. She groaned but finally let go of me to get up slowly. She took her shirt off, her back facing me, and I stared at her as she did the same with her panties. I knew she was sick but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the view.

"Hurry up." I said, smacking her bum playfully and making her jump a bit.

"Be nice! I'm siiiick!" she complained again before walking to the bathroom.

When I heard the shower, I got up but stopped myself and sighed, picking up her dirty clothes and throwing them in the laundry basket. I searched through my things and put one of my shirts on the bed along with a pair of boxers and finally walked out of the room to reach the kitchen.

As I waited for the water to boil, I grabbed my phone and sent a text message saying I was taking a day off and just turned it off to be sure not to be disturbed. I walked upstairs with her tea and put it on the bedside table right before going to the bathroom. I rolled my eyes when I saw her soaked towel laying on the floor and cleaned the shower a bit before doing the same with the sink.

"You left your towel on the floor, Liv. Again." I complained before realizing she was already asleep.

I sighed and closed my eyes, knowing she was sick and it was wrong of me to be mad for that, but it was not only on that day, it was all the time. I never thought it would be so tough for someone as clean as me to live with someone as messy as she was. Sometimes, it was driving me insane.

I let her sleep for a while and ate toasts and eggs for breakfast before washing the dishes and going to sit on the couch to watch the golf channel. Staying home got me slightly bored and after a while, I grabbed my notebook and started scribbling a few words, feeling suddenly inspired for a new song. I didn't know how much time passed since I was concentrated on my writing but she finally appeared from the hall. Her hair was a mess and she was yawning but despite all this, my lips curled at her sight.

"Come here, are you hungry?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She walked up to me, her feet brushing against the carpet, and let herself fall on the couch next to me. As soon as her ass hit the couch, she cuddled me, curling up against me, her leg over my thigh and her head leaning on my shoulder.

"Have you ever heard of personal space?" I joked with a chuckle.

"I'm part of your personal space, Horan."

I laughed at her words, knowing she was going say those exact words since it's always what she answered me. I liked the degree of intimacy we had reached but I realized we had it even before we started dating.

"Oh yea?"

"Oh yea."

I laughed and kissed the top of her head again, pushing my notebook away and sitting better on the couch so we could be more comfortable. We remained in silence for a while until I sighed low.

"Are you hungry, do you want something to eat?"

She grimaced and groaned, shaking her head.

"You're gonna have to eat, you know." I pointed out, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

"But i'm siiiiiick!"

"Told ya not to go out without a sweater. It's getting colder, especially at night."

She groaned again and buried her face in my neck.

"You're such a mom." she mumbled against my skin, making me laugh.

"And you're such a child." I replied for the second time that day.

I felt her lips brush against my neck and it made goosebumps appear on my skin. I brought my hand to her back and caressed her over her shirt to soothe her and after a while, she let out a low whimper that made me smile. She was still a bit warm, probably a sign that the fever was slowly coming back, and I finally got up quickly.

"Okay, enough." I let out, looking down at her as she sent me puppy eyes. "Soup for you, and meds, and then you rest."

"Nooo no no no!" she argued in a begging voice.

I pretended I didn't hear and just laughed as I walked to the kitchen to make some soup. When I came back, I noticed she was playing a video game on the tv and rolled my eyes with a smile. She had been a bit obsessed with Mario Kart recently and I just put the soup on the coffee table before going to the bathroom, looking through my stuff to find something against the flu. I got back with pills and a water bottle and she put her remote down to swallow the pills I gave her. I glanced at the tv and smiled.

"You know if I play with you, you won't be first in any of the races?" I pointed out with a laugh as she started eating.

She looked up at me and chuckled before grabbing an other remote and handing it to me, staring in my eyes with a small smirk.

"Don't hold back and cry."

"Challenge accepted."

We started playing and I tried hitting her gently with my elbow from time to time to distract her. She kept laughing whether she was winning or losing and that was something I loved about her. She didn't care if she won or not, she just wanted to have fun. We joked a lot about who was the best but in the end, It never really mattered to us as long as we had a good time together.

"Ex eaquo." she let out, putting the remote on the coffee table before turning to me and crossing her legs on the couch.

"Fair enough." I laughed a bit but it faded away quick enough.

She tilted her head while staring at me and I could swear her eyes fluttered. She sent me a warm and fond smile and it made me smile back. There was always something in the way she looked at me... something that made me wonder how I missed all the love in her eyes for all these years.

"Thank you for staying home today." she started, making the left corner of my lips raise up again. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"You don't have to thank me, I knew I was staying home with you the first time you woke up in the middle of the night. You didn't even have to do all that begging this morning."

She chuckled and raised her shoulders up and bit her bottom lip.

"Are you gonna take care of me like that when we'll be old? When our kids are out of the house, when there will be only us two again, when I can barely walk?"

My smile fell slightly and it hit me suddenly that she had thought about our future when It never really crossed my mind. It's not that I didn't want to, I just didn't know what I wanted. I preferred to live one day at a time instead to plan years ahead. I stared at her a few seconds, blinking a few times and trying to hide the fact that my heart was beating harder and faster suddenly. I didn't want to hurt her, I've hurt her enough for a few lifetimes already, so I just sent her a smile.

"Come here." I whispered, opening my arms.

Immediately, she moved closer and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight against me. I felt her lips travel again on my neck and up to my jaw.

"Will you?" she insisted in a murmur, making me press my lips together.

I turned my head her way and looked down, my eyes roaming on her face. I brought my hand to her cheek and let my fingers graze her skin softly. I picked my words carefully and licked my lips.

"I promise i'll always be there for you."

----

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as I looked at her.

I wanted to go out, I wanted to go for a few pints with my friends, and I didn't want to stay between these damn four walls tonight, but I still asked her.

"No, of course not, i'm fine!" she argued with a smile, grabbing her tissue box and bringing it on her lap. "I'll watch a few movies and go to bed so stay as late as you want."

"If you need me just call or text okay?" I proposed, putting my phone in my pocket. "It's on vibe, i'll feel it."

"Then I may just text you a lot." she joked with a laugh, making me chuckle too.

The discussion we had had in the afternoon had left me with a bittersweet feeling. For some reason, it made me want to run away so when my cousin called for an evening at the pub, I couldn't say no. I loved Olivia, I knew I did, but this whole thing was a bit too much for me and I didn't know what to think and how to feel anymore. She told me herself after all, didn't she? Love is not all you need, no matter what we've been told.

Apparently, a bunch of people I knew and didn't know were invited and I took a seat next to Louis who pushed a pint in front of me. I grabbed it and after a few seconds, I had swallowed half of it.

"Mate, you alright?"

I glanced at him and shrugged, focusing on the glass in my hands as I turned it slowly. I didn't want to share my feelings and thoughts with him if only because he was so close to my girlfriend now that it would make things awkward. It's not that I didn't trust him but I didn't want to put him in a position where he'd have to keep secrets from her or feel bad to be around her.

"Just tired." I lied with a shrug.

"Liv's still sick?"

"Yea, t'was worse this morning but she wasn't really in the mood to come."

"Legit."

I felt someone sit next to me and without thinking, I turned my head only to face one of the most gorgeous girls I had ever seen. She smiled more, maybe because of the way I was looking at her, and extended her hand to me after pushing a lock of her dark hair behind her shoulder.

"Hey, i'm Gia."

"Niall." I replied, shaking her hand slightly.

"I know."

I sent her a smile and my eyes moved down to check her out until I felt Louis nudge me on the side to get my attention. My eyes lingered for an other second on the pretty girl and I finally turned back to my friend who was raising his eyebrows at me.

"You're drooling." he pointed out in a low tone.

I could hear a hint of blame in his voice and groaned low. I knew I shouldn't be flirting but it seemed like I hadn't done something like this in years. I was not used to hold back, I was not used to stop myself from doing what I wanted... I was not used to be in a real relationship, or at least not for that long. Louis stared at me for a few more seconds before moving closer to me.

"Don't do that, Niall." he let out in a sad tone. "I promise it's not worth it."

I sighed low and nodded slowly before he sent me a small smile and got up. I watched him leave and was ready to do the same when I felt a hand on my arm and stopped moving completely. I felt a shiver run up my spine but it was more because of the thrill than because of her touch.

"Are you leaving already?"

I stared at her for a few seconds before sitting back down. I should leave, every fiber of my body was telling me to run away and go back to Olivia, but I couldn't. Instead, I remained quiet for a few seconds and finally smiled more.

"No, i'm staying."

We talked for a while and the way she looked at me made me believe I could bring her home if I wanted. I kept thinking about Liv but tried to push the thought away when a feeling of guilt would invade me. I was not really doing anything, and I didn't plan to do anything, but I couldn't pretend it didn't bother me that I couldn't enjoy this a bit more. I swallowed my third beer and chuckled at something moderately funny she said.

"Look, Gia, I need to tell you something." I let out, licking my lips. "I already have a girlfriend."

"Oh I know, and I don't care." she admitted with a shrug as she laughed again. "Heidi told me it was not serious."

"Heidi?" I asked with a frown, looking around the table to finally meet her eyes.

She sent me a smirk and I felt suddenly totally stupid. Did Heidi do that on purpose? Was I just fooled like a fucking loser? I turned back to Gia and sent her a smile, shaking my head.

"Was nice meeting you, but I need to go now."

I pushed my chair and got up but she grabbed my wrist and it felt wrong. I could feel the way Olivia wrapped her fingers gently around my wrist sometimes and my heart skipped a beat as I took my hand back, feeling Gia's fingers slide on my skin and making me grimace. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous and no matter what excuses came to my mind, I was the only one to blame.

"Don't leave, I really don't care that you have a girlfriend."

I sighed again but louder this time and bent down to look in her eyes.

"I do."

I walked away in the direction of the door and glared at Heidi for a few seconds. Quickly, she jumped off her chair and followed me.

"Niall." she said, making an annoying noise with her heels on the wood floor. "Niall!"

She grabbed my arm and made me stop walking. I turned around and shook my head at her, talking before she could say anything.

"You set this up?" I asked, a bit mad. "You asked this girl to come and flirt with me to see if i'd cheat on my girlfriend? What kind of fucking sicko are you?"

"No!" she frowned, shaking her head a bit too quickly. "She said she thought you were sexy and I said you were taken but it wasn't anything serious, that's it!"

"Heidi, I've literally been dating Olivia for almost a year, how can this not be serious?"

She stared at me and raised her eyebrows, taking a lock of her hair and twisting it around one of her fingers. I remembered she always did that whenever she wanted us to have sex and took a step back without realizing it.

"Didn't seem serious when your eyes were literally glued to Gia's cleavage."

I closed my eyes, knowing she was right and swallowed hard.

"You got me there, i'm human." I let out, pressing my lips together as I felt anger invade my insides. I just wasn't sure if I was mad at Heidi or at myself. Maybe a bit of both. "A sad, poor excuse of one, but a human being nonetheless."

"Oh please, Niall." she added, rolling her eyes. "You're 23, it's not like you were going to spend your life with her. I mean okay, she's your best friend so this little masquerade you're doing lasts a little longer. I know you don't want to hurt her but seriously? Can you imagine having sex only with her for the rest of your life? Get married? Have kids? You're not ready for that, Niall."

She looked at me in an amused way and chuckled meanly, putting her hands on her waist. I hated her words and felt something burn inside me. I hated it because every single word she said seemed so true it made me want to puke. I was not ready, no matter what I tried to make myself or even Olivia believe. Clearly, my girlfriend was a step ahead in our relationship and it was scaring me. I was not going to let Heidi know, though, simply because it was none of her business.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." I just said rudly, walking past her and reaching the door.

She followed me quickly but remained close to the door as I walked out.

"I'm right and you know it, Niall!"

I stopped and turned around, walking back quickly to her suddenly angrier than ever.

"I love her! I'm in love with her!" I could feel my hands shake and I placed them into fists as I tried not to let anger consume me.

"Oh sure you do. But you two started dating too fast. You clearly got a lot left to live and you're too young to settle forever." she explained with a small shrug.

The fact that she remained so calm annoyed me and I groaned low, raising my nose up. Why was I even listening to her anyway? I should go back to Olivia and make sure she was okay. I should get a cab and go back home to join her in bed and cuddle her. But what I shouldn’t do is stay there, in the cold, listening to a girl I thought was my friend tell me that the relationship I have with my girlfriend was a mistake.

"And if you need me to help you relax, she let out, taking a step closer and running her hand on my chest. "I'm always here, whether you're still dating her or not.”

A bit roughly, I pushed her hand away and took a step back. I watched her, her arms around herself, shivering because of the cold, and I realized that I didn't want any of this.

"October's a cold month at night." I just pointed out a bit meanly. "You should wear a sweater."

Without an other word, I turned on my heels and left quickly. I heard her yell behind me and held my breath.

"You'll call me back sooner than you think!"

I started running for a reason I ignored and when my throat was burning and I couldn't seem to breathe anymore, I stopped and held myself on my knees, panting. Perhaps I hated this and everything Heidi had mentioned because I knew, deep down, that she was right. I felt the few beers I drank make me want to puke and turned to my right, vomiting slightly in the grass. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly and deeply, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace but It wasn't due to my run but more because of all the guilt running inside me. I loved Olivia, I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone. It was scary and troubling and I was not really sure what to do with those feelings.

I kept walking around slowly, knowing that I should get a taxi but not really sure I wanted to. I didn't feel ready to go home and see my girlfriend after everything that happened, even if she wasn't aware of anything. I couldn't stop thinking about what Heidi told me and about how Liv said that love was not all that was needed in a relationship. I loved her and she loved me, shouldn't it be enough?

Before I realized it, I stood in front of my house and sighed, taking one of my hands out of my pocket to look at the time on my watch. It was already 2am and I just stood there a few more minutes before walking in. All the lights were off and I blinked a few times until my eyes got used to the dark. I walked to my room and quickly undressed before getting under the covers with my girlfriend. She didn't move and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to me until her back pressed on my chest. I loved her, I couldn't see my life without her, and I had to stop letting doubts get the best of me.

"I love you, Olivia." I whispered, burring my nose in her hair and closing my eyes. "I'm in love with you."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #amc #ehh yea sorry #for what happened in the chapter #and also for how poorly written it is

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fraink5-writes · 3 years

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From Darkness Into the Lantern Light - Chapter 2

Another week, another chapter... How exciting~!

Thanks, of course, to the great @leio13 for everything she’s done to polish up this story!

Summary: Once upon a time, there was a cold-hearted queen. Although the Tsaritsa, as she was called, possessed her own divinity, she coveted the powers of the other Archons. Aiming to steal the Geo Archon’s gnosis, she sent her strongest warriors to Liyue Harbor. But just when Rex Lapis was almost defeated, he escaped to another vessel, that of a powerless baby, and was swept away to a hidden tower for his protection.

Many years after the great fight, the young and ambitious Harbinger, Childe, arrives in Liyue to grant the Tsaritsa’s desire, but, on his search for the Geo Archon’s gnosis, he ends up tangled in a mysterious man’s dreams to see Liyue Harbor’s Lantern Rite.

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Childe yawned. He had been keeping guard by the window while Zhongli pulled himself together. True to Zhongli's words, not a soul passed through the area. How boring.

The true object of Childe's curiosity was, of course, Zhongli himself—although Childe dared not watch him directly while he was so on edge. He had made thousands of laps around his tiny tower home, futzing around with every little thing.

What little information Childe did know about Zhongli painted a strange picture. Most notably, the man had never had a haircut in his lifetime. Although Childe was certainly not an expert in hair care, letting it grow out indefinitely had to have more downsides than up. Underneath all the hair, though, was even weirder. Zhongli had let slip that he had never encountered another person since he came to the tower, which was starting to seem like a very long time. Given the virtual non-existence of passersby and Zhongli’s paranoia, his outrageous statement appeared like a plausible fact. Unfortunately, due to their contract, Childe could no longer ask about either of these mysteries.

But they were, nevertheless, exploitable. If Zhongli distrusted the entire world, all the better for Childe, his only ally. In pernicious Liyue, even Childe could be a hero, and ultimately, that feeling of gratitude and indebtedness would be paid back with critical information.

Well, at the end of the day, Childe did not expect Zhongli to have any pertinent information on his target, so perhaps forging trust with him was not necessary. Even still, Zhongli’s fearfulness worked to Childe’s advantage in yet another way: he could be free of him sooner. After all, how hard could it be to scare this man into wanting to turn back? Whether or not Zhongli could tell him something of value was insignificant compared to the pressing need to recommence his search for Rex Lapis.

“Hey, you almost ready to go?” Childe, reminded of his impatience, called out.

“Not yet.” Zhongli was standing by a chair he had already revisited 20 times.

“At this rate, you’re never going to wanna leave!”

“You’re right. Sorry.” Zhongli came slightly closer, still armed with his pan.

If there was one thing Childe couldn’t handle about Zhongli, it was his aura. Despite the absurdity of his paranoia and weapon choice, under his demeanor, there was a vague, latent power that kept Childe on his toes. This man’s a potential threat.

“You’re going to bring that?” Childe asked.

“I don’t know what else to bring.”

“Right.” Childe sighed into his palm. “Let’s just get going then. Oh yeah, where are we going exactly? You didn’t say.”

“Liyue Harbor.”

Childe’s hands dropped to his side. His stomach capsized in its own digestive juices.

“I want to see the annual lanterns.”

As all his thoughts jammed in his skull, not a single one made it to Childe’s lips. It’s okay. It’ll be fine. This is just a special challenge to see how fast you can get him to turn around. “Yeah.” Finally, Childe snapped to his senses. “Great, so where’s the exit?”

“I’m unsure.”

“What do you mean?” Asking that question was not unlike juggling a bomb before it explodes, hoping to lessen the impact.

“I’ve never left this tower before.”

BOOM

Luckily, Childe had time to dig his feet in the ground, lest the explosion bowl him over. Another statement that provided no real answers, only more questions—too many questions to be worth pondering over—and he couldn’t even ask for the answers. At the core, however, one overarching question throbbed in his mind: how did Zhongli even survive?

Not one to show his weakness, Childe posed a joke instead. “So, you couldn’t even find one during your many laps around?”

“No, unfortunately, but I did have an idea. If I hook it up here, by the window, we can use my hair to climb down.”

Childe’s brain overheated and shut down. That was fine. Thinking only seemed like a detriment in this situation. Much like a fight, it was time to rely solely on instincts.

Although it was Zhongli’s idea, he appeared reluctant to let Childe hold his hair, but finally he handed him a section with a wince. Conversely, after all that had happened in the day, Childe didn’t even hesitate to tie himself up in a hair harness and jump out of a high-up window. While Zhongli mustered the courage to jump down, Childe inhaled the crisp air surrounding him. This was his last moment of freedom.

***

Zhongli was surprised at the speed with which the mysterious man, Childe, freed himself from his hair; Zhongli hadn’t even the chance to jump down yet (although, he was aware that he was taking a long time). Finally, he took a breath, closed his eyes, and jumped. He was less afraid of death and more afraid of betraying his obligations, his deal with that woman: his mother.

As far as he could possibly remember, Zhongli had always lived in that tower. He spent most of his time in complete solitude, but it wasn’t a lonely existence. He enjoyed immersing himself into books, absorbing all the information they had to give him. Whenever he was reading, he was always filled with a slight nostalgia, which his mother once simply explained, “Maybe you’ve just read too many books. Aren’t they all starting to blend together?” But that wasn’t remotely true. Each book stood out vividly in his mind.

This, however, was the first time he would physically step foot out of his tower. The gentle compression of the earth under his feet set his heart aflutter with excitement and trepidation. Although tiny particles of dirt were displaced in a cloud by his movement, the ground beneath was an unbudging solid. Yet, despite its sturdiness, the ground had already powdered a thin veneer of dirt on the soles of Zhongli's shoes.

As Zhongli stared at his feet, the residual dirt morphed into evidence of a crime; there was no way this dirt wouldn't leave a trail when he returned to the tower. Then, his mother would undeniably know that he had broken the "contract" of their living conditions.

While Zhongli and his mother had never officiated the terms of their coexistence, they had abided by them in mutual understanding since Zhongli could remember: so long as Zhongli was obedient and never left the tower, his mother would provide for and protect him. It was only natural.

If Zhongli's mother were to discover he had left, she would have every right to be angered by his unjustifiable betrayal. She had cared for him all these years without fault. To leave was an act of ingratitude, a suggestion that she had not been good enough, when she, in fact, had. But worse still, what if she returned before Zhongli? How much would she fret and worry over his selfish decision? A display of lanterns he could distantly make out from his window was not worth her suffering. Maybe it was better if he went back and pretended this little exit never happened.

But it was already too late to completely erase the evidence of his departure, in which case, Zhongli had no choice but to look forward. Besides, he was probably old enough to make this decision. The contract, although unofficial, had no end term, but it surely couldn't last this long. Zhongli had already reached a maturity where he could take care of himself. As it was, as he grew older, the length and frequency of his mother's trips had grown incrementally. She trusted him on his own. The only difference was that now he would also be taking an excursion.

Zhongli’s own journey started on the other shore of the lake. While he was in his tower, Zhongl had not appreciated the movements of the water: the gentle lapping against the sand and the harsh crashes against the small cliffs. At the center of these interactions was the same lake with the same calm waves. Near the shore, the crystalline blue water refracted shallow shadow patterns on the sand, but as the water grew deeper and murkier, the ground disappeared altogether. As short a distance as the lake seemed to span, it was nevertheless insurmountable.

Zhongli couldn’t swim. As he stared across the waters to the other shore where plants and slimes coexisted, he realized that swimming was just a small obstacle. On the other side, there would be creatures and people that Zhongli wouldn’t be able to handle. He could hardly imagine what was out there. Zhongli was trapped by the dirt which soiled his shoes and the water which would engulf him.

But, it wasn’t all hopeless nor unknown. There was one factor Zhongli had not yet factored in: Childe. Unlike Zhongli, Childe was experienced in travelling and in society as a whole. Zhongli was not exploring on his own; Childe would guide him. From that perspective, most of Zhongli’s fears were trivial.

However, Zhongli’s greatest fear was Childe himself. The man’s entire presence was a mystery. Both his arrival and motivations were dubious. Although he carried himself casually (probably a pretense to make Zhongli lower his guard), Childe seemed dangerous and unpredictable. Zhongli questioned the intentions of every move he made as he tried to stay ahead. In fact, the contract was the only thing which made their cooperation possible. The contract not only assured that Zhongli would achieve his goal, but also that when it was all over, he would be safe from Childe. The contract was written in such a way that even if Childe were to ask about his hair for his treasure, Zhongli could escape without worrying about his secrets being spilled nor Childe coming after him.

Well, it couldn’t hurt to ask about Childe’s target before they set off. “Childe,” Zhongli called to him as he fidgeted with the mask in his hair. “What exactly are you looking for?”

"Do you have to ask that already? Let's save some of the fun for later, shall we?"

So he's employing the privacy clause for a matter as simple as this?

Childe's constructed smile quickly vanished. "Well, I suppose I should tell you something. I'm looking for a treasure beyond human imagination, something worthy of a goddess."

Just as Zhongli thought, he could not trust Childe at all. Though Childe wouldn't say, Zhongli knew what he was after, and he wouldn't let him have it.

Childe must have noticed Zhongli's scowl because he quickly forced another laugh. "Hey, don't worry about it for now. Your job right now is to keep your eyes open and enjoy the world!"

If that's all there was to it, Zhongli could certainly manage this journey, but he'd be keeping his eyes on Childe first and foremost.

#Genshin Impact #Chili #Childe #Zhongli

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dispatchesfrom2020 · 3 years

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2020

What stories was I sleeping on?

So, what stories did I definitely miss before this project? Well, Atlantic Hurricanes and the Belarussian protests, for sure. Here are some of the other news I skipped out on during the year - or my recaps.

Ben Curtis/AP

1. Locusts Swarm

An unusually wet 2019 led to swampy conditions across the Horn of Africa and western Asia - giving rise to a nearly biblical swarm of locusts. There are photographs where they literally seem to black-out the sun. The culprit? Climate change. The warming waters of the Indian ocean led to stormier weather - essentially more and bigger cyclones. It’s the worst outbreak of the crop-devouring pests in a quarter-century and it threatens food security across the region. The pandemic grinds international trade to a stop - obstructing many countries efforts to buy pesticides, equipment or bring in expert help to curb the infestation. Throughout the year, these swarms ballooned in size, stretching deep into Asia and across the Pacific ocean to Argentina and Brazil. An estimated 20 million people could face hunger and starvation and the UN’s World Food Program estimates that recovery could cost upwards of $9b USD in Africa alone.

Tyler Hicks/The New York Times

2. The Tigray War

For three decades the Tigray people held the balance of political and economic power in the country, tightly controlled through the Tigray People Liberation Front (TPLF), a Tigray nationalist party. In 2018 the Ethiopian election People's Revolutionary Democratic Front, led by Oromo Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed Ali, won control of the country’s government.

Animosities boiled over when the Tigray province persisted with the 2020 election, despite government orders to postpone voting until 2021 due to the coronavirus. Prime Minister Abiy cut off funding to Tigray, incising local leadership. In November 2020, youth militias affiliated with the TPLF killed six hundred villagers in the border town of Mai Kadra - and allegedly attacked Ethiopian military bases.

The government responded by shelling the Tigray capital of Mekelle. Ethiopia’s armed forces quickly took control of the city and surrounding towns, with the militias retreating into the mountains where skirmishes have continued.

With Tigrayan people facing violent retaliation - they have faced furloughs from jobs, had bank accounts suspended, faced arbitrary raids on their homes, and been refused permission to board airplanes or travel overseas. Many have faced direct violence, especially from non-Tigray militias.

The conflict has seen incursions from Eritrean forces. Abiy was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for his work mending the relationship with Ethiopia’s former colony-turned-neighbour. They share a common enemy now - Tigray. Eritrean forces slaughtered church-goers at a religious festival in early December, killing children and elders indiscriminately. These shadow forces of Fano militias and Eritrean soldiers have committed war crimes - including extrajudicial killings and rape. They even looted the church that allegedly houses the Ark of the Covenant.

The Tigrayan refugees have only one option: Sudan. One journalist writes: “Several [Tigrayan refugees] told me that they saw dozens of bodies along the route as they fled their shops, homes and farms and took to the long road to the border... in stifling heat.”

The New York Times series on Tigray was helpful in understanding more about the conflict and its historical and ethnic contexts. But I have to say - I feel unclear about what comes next. Will guerilla warfare between the Tigray militias and Eritrean-Ethiopian forces continue? Will the country face international consequences for their move towards genocide? I guess 2021 will decide.

A SolarWinds banner hangs outside the New York Stock Exchange on the company’s IPO day in 2018 - Brendan McDermid/Reuters

3. The SolarWinds hack

I chose to write about icebergs rather than this story for a reason. I wholly do NOT understand cyber security. Like, at all. My eyes glaze over when somebody tries to explain Wikileaks to me. I tried. I really did - I read like three articles trying to parse the details and make sense of anything and here’s what I got:

Hackers - almost certainly Russian - got into the US government secure networks. For a lot of departments. For months. It’s really, really bad. The government has a pretty blasé response to the disaster. Trump blames China. Agencies are turning directly to Microsoft for answers rather than their own cyber security people. It’s a blazing hot mess.

I’m going to continue to not understand this one, sorry.

Juan Carlos Ulate/Reuters

4. Civil Rights in 2020

The expansion of civil rights in Central/South America, with the legalization of abortion in Argentina in December and the introduction of gay marriage in Costa Rica in May, gave us something to celebrate in 2020. These new rights are the result of years - and decades - of organizing by activists in these two countries.

Costa Rica is the sixth Latin-American country to legalize gay marriage. Argentina joins a short list of places in Latin America where abortion is fully legal - just Cuba, Guyana, Uruguay, and two Mexican states.

Some couples rushed to wed on the stroke of midnight - magistrates stayed up late into the night to marry couples. Marcos Castillo (L) and Rodrigo Campos (R) waited until the following morning - and celebrated with a masked kiss after their ceremony.

Other notable moments in civil rights? New Zealand officially revoked their antiquated anti-abortion laws (which they’d been effectively ignoring for years anyway), Bhutan decriminalized homosexuality, Switzerland passed legislation that will allow people to change the gender on their government IDs, and Croatia struck down laws forbidding gay couples from fostering children. Albania banned gay conversion therapy - as did the Yukon, actually - and Barbados made discrimination on the basis of sexuality illegal.

Nicky Kuautonga/The Guardian

5. Oceania crushed the pandemic

Virtually all of the countries reported to be COVID-free during 2020 were Oceanic nations and island territories. Turkmenistan says they didn’t have any cases but they’re lyin’. -Tuvalu Kiribati, Nauru, Tonga, and Palau all ended the year with no cases, while Samoa and the Solomon Islands reported a few isolated cases in quarantine facilities as they re-opened the border to repatriate their citizens abroad.

Some combination of strict travel restrictions, new hygiene rules, curfews, and early lockdowns kept most of these countries relatively untouched. While New Zealand and Australia experienced several flare-ups throughout the year, their targeted lockdowns helped eradicate community spread quickly each time, returning them to schools, workplaces and boozy brunches quickly.

Honourable mentions to Vietnam and Thailand - with 100 million and 70 million citizens apiece both have charted under 100 deaths to COVID - and Taiwan with only nine casualties.

Gulalay Amiri, a pomegranate farmer, surveys his slim haul. Fighting as worsened in many parts of Afghanistan after the United States announced they would withdraw from the country in 2021 - Jim Huylebroek for The New York Times

6. War in Afghanistan

In March the United States signed a peace-deal with the Taliban, promising to withdraw troops by May of 2021. The War in Afghanistan has lasted 19 years - the longest war in American history and the majority of my lifetime.

I don’t know how to feel about it.

During peace talks the Taliban refused to commit to recognizing the country’s elected government, disavowing Al-Qaeda or protecting women’s rights. They support limited education for girls - only up to the sixth grade.

I listened to a few podcasts by the Daily on the ground in Afghanistan with the current government’s security forces. Many of the young soldiers they interviewed were so young they’d never lived in a country governed by the Taliban - and they fiercely oppose the idea. It also appears that the Afghan government were often excluded from peace talks, finding out details of the American meetings with the Taliban through international news reports and Taliban statements on social media.

Since the Taliban’s deal with the United States, Taliban bombings and attacks have continued, targeting both security forces and civilians. The Afghan government has pointed the finger at the Taliban for mass shooting at a maternity ward in Kabul that killed 24 women and infants. “They came for the mothers”, said horrified eyewitnesses.

For almost two decades, the western world has supported the ‘new’ Afghanistan - but it feels very fragile. Will a withdrawal lead those people that assisted coalition forces vulnerable to retaliation? It feels likely. The fighting between the Taliban and the Afghan government has been fierce - and come with high civilian casualties. The year is punctuated, nearly monthly, with news of new attacks in Afghanistan.

It reminds me of the end of the Vietnam war. America withdrew and two years later the south was retaken by the North. In the final days of the Vietnam war the United States evacuated around 150,000 civilians who had worked with American on the ground. Nearly a million others left the country by boat, seeking asylum at refugee camps in Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines. Hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese people who had collaborated with the US-backed South were sent to re-education camps where they were sometimes tortured or starved. Is this what Afghanistan will look like?

There’s no 'good’ solution - and for now the future of the war in Afgahnistan feels very opaque. I think I under-reported stories in the region as a result - it feels too complex to boil down into daily recaps.

Bobi Wine, 38, was detained by police for allegedly breaking COVID-19 restrictions while campaigning in Uganda’s upcoming presidential election - Abubaker Lubowa/Reuters

8. Ugandan election protests

Western media doesn’t seem to place a lot of importance on reporting in Africa - but what little attention they had for the continent focused on the anti-SARS protests in Nigeria throughout the fall. The attention on police violence in America raised the profile of these demonstrations - and the brutality of the government’s response, shooting at dozens of peaceful marchers gathered at the Lekki toll bridge.

But they were far from the only protests in Africa.

As Uganda prepared for an election early in 2021, the government forcefully cracked down on youthful dissidents - like presidential hopefuls Bobi Wine and Patrick Amuriat who were detained by police during the final campaign pushes in November.

Wine, a young musician, has been arrested numerous times since he announced his candidacy. One occasion police beat Wine so badly he temporarily lost his vision - they also killed his driver. They raided his offices, confiscating election materials, and arrested supporters. His bodyguard will later be killed after being struck by a military truck while helping an injured reporter escape tear-gas during December protests.

Police record 56 casualties as they violently put down the large-scale protests - though human rights group have suggested the real number could be dramatically higher.

Ariana Quesada holds a photo of her father, Benito. He died after an outbreak at the Cargill meat-packing plant where he worked. She filed a complaint with the RCMP, asking them to investigate conditions at the plant - Justin Pennell/CBC

9. Meat packing plants become coronavirus hotspots

Meat processing plants become super-spreaders - these often rurally-located factories see massive outbreaks across the United States and Canada. Their floors are crowded with employees working elbow-to-elbow, forced to shout over the loud din of machinery. The refrigeration - necessary for keeping the meat unspoiled - may allow the virus to live longer in the air.

By September of 2020, nearly 500 meat-processing plants had reported at least one case of COVID in the United States. And 203 had died.

At a Tyson Foods factory in Waterloo, Iowa, staff allege that management placed bets on how many workers would become sick - and die. Supervisors began avoiding the floor, relegating their responsibilities to untrained workers.

The plant reluctantly closed - by the time they re-opened two weeks later over a third of their 2,800 workforce had tested positive. Five workers died - including Isidro Fernandez, whose family is leading a lawsuit against the company.

In Canada, Cargill faces a similar lawsuit after an enormous outbreak in their High River facility that resulted in three deaths - two employees and one staffer’s 71-year-old father. They were: Hiep Bui, Armando Sallegue, and Benito Quesada. The company offered a $500 “responsibility” bonus for workers who didn’t miss any shifts - and discouraged employees from reporting any flu-like symptoms. Many of the factory’s workers are temporary foreign workers or new Canadians.

10. The Nazca Lines

I forgot about this and am shoehorning it in now, but Peruvian archaeologists discovered another ancient line drawing in the desert outside of Lima - this time in the shape of a kitty cat.

Of all the archaeology finds this year - remains at Pompeii, a mammoth graveyard in Mexico, and a wealth of sarcophagi in Egypt - this is my favourite.

#2020 recap #2020 in depth

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sailorchiron · 5 years

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Michael Guerin Week Day 7

I’M FINALLY FINISHED I think this one is the funniest. Thanks everyone who’s been reading my fics!

Read on Ao3

Need You Now

Michael was in deep shit.

Like, he knew he was in deep shit, and yet, it wasn’t quite real just how deep in it he was. He was looking at the phone, knowing that he was going to get the ass-chewing of a lifetime as soon as it was answered.

He waited for it to ring. “Hello?” It was the most pathetic croak he’d ever heard, and it was accompanied by a torrent of coughing.

“Hey baby.”

“Michael? Where are you?” More coughing. “Are you still out with Jaime?” More coughing. “What time is it?”

“It’s about 4:30, and I’m still with Jaime, but, uh,” he waited while Alex coughed more. He’d left him home tucked into bed with Nyquil when he’d gone out with his friends from the mechanical engineering department. “You, uh, might be my one phone call?”

“What?”

“Um,” Michael tried really hard not to laugh, but he was really drunk, and laughing just happened when he was drunk. “I, uh, got picked up after the bar closed, for uh,” he really didn’t want to say it, “drunk and disorderly.” Michael held the phone away from his ear as Alex coughed loudly before shouting, “What the fuck, Michael?”

“Um, yah, I promise I’ll explain everything, it’s not actually our fault,” he waited for Alex to cough a lot more, followed by the sound of him blowing his nose. “Can you, uh, come get me?”

“Jesus fucking christ Michael, how the hell am I supposed to get you?”

“Jaime drove, you can bring the truck.” The line was silent except for wheezing and coughing for a minute. “Alex?”

“Fine, I’m assuming I have to bail you out in cash?”

“Um, yah.”

“I’ll be there when I feel like it.” The line went dead.

Michael handed the phone back to the amused police officer. “Thanks.”

He’d sorta dozed with his head against the wall when an officer came to get him. Alex was there, beanie on his head, bundled up in his winter coat and scarf, looking equal parts pissed and miserable. “Alex, thank you, baby.”

“Yah, yah.” Michael smiled at him as he approached, but Alex looked like he was fucking done. “Congratulations, darling, your Christmas present is bail. Let’s go.”

Oooh. Alex was really mad. He only used ‘darling’ when he was super pissed.

“Jaime, is Sophia coming for you?”

The other engineering student shook his head carefully. “Nope, told me to rot in here until they let me out.”

“She has the right idea.”

It took a while to get all of Michael’s belongings and get out to the parking lot. “I can drive.”

Alex shot him a look. “No, you cannot drive, you’re drunk enough you got fucking arrested, you’re not driving.”

“Touche.”

The drive home was painful silence broken by Alex’s miserable coughing. He’d even turned the radio off so that Michael could <i>really</i> feel the weight of his fuck up. When they pulled up at the apartment, Alex got out and shut the door without looking at him. Damn.

Alex let them both in and locked the door before throwing the keys on the counter. “I might as well just stay up, I’d have to get up for class in less than an hour.”

Michael just stopped. “Alex, you are not going to class today.”

“I am absolutely going to class today, I went to bed early specifically so I wouldn’t be too sick to go to class today. Oh wait, someone called me at 4:30 because he was in jail.” Alex glared.

“Baby, even if you hadn’t come to get me, you’re too sick to go to school. You have a fever.” He watched in horror as Alex started to cry. “Oh, fuck, Alex, I’m sorry--” He tried to put his arms around him.

“Don’t touch me,” Alex griped, pushing him away weakly. “Go take a fucking shower, you smell like they peeled you off the floor of the bar.” He shooed him toward the bathroom. “Go.”

Michael felt lost and bereft and was pretty sure he’d reached a level of fucking up he had never before considered. “Okay.”

A hot shower helped sober him up a little, and Michael wasn’t feeling quite as proud of himself as he had when he’d been arrested. Having his boyfriend push him away had really taken the fun out of drunk and disorderly. While he was brushing his teeth, Alex let himself into the bathroom to get more Nyquil out of the medicine cabinet. He looked terrible. “Hey, let’s take your temperature, okay? I think you still have a fever.”

Alex just nodded and got the thermometer out. Michael turned it on and helped Alex put it under his tongue. It only took about 20 seconds for it to beep. He looked at the display. “102.1, if you’re still this sick tomorrow I’m going to take you to the doctor.” Michael knew he was sick when he didn’t argue. “Come on, take your medicine and we’ll go to bed, okay?”

While Alex swallowed the big pills with Gatorade, Michael put on pajamas before he helped his sick boyfriend get into bed. Michael lifted his arm for Alex to snuggle, hoping he wasn’t still <i>that</i> pissed. They never really stayed mad at each other. He sighed, relieved, when Alex cuddled into his side and pressed his face against Michael’s neck, like he always did when he was emotional.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m a complete fucking idiot.”

Alex laughed but it turned into coughing. “You’re a fucking idiot. I do want to hear the story of how you got arrested, and it better be fucking epic.”

“It’s epic.”

“I’m in love with a criminal.”

“Maybe your love can make me go straight.”

“Please don’t go straight, that would have a devastating effect on our relationship.”

Michael burst out laughing, and heard Alex laughing before it turned into more coughing. “No more snark, get some rest.”

“Love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too.”

#mgweek19 #guerinweek19 #malex #malex fic #roswell nm

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

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Remnants, Part VII

I’m so sorry to do this to you, but the angst was inevitable. If you’ve got questions, shoot me an ask and I’ll answer if it won’t spoil the plot : )

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI

Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.

Thanks so much to @kitkatcronch @kpopperotp12 @seafrost-fangirl @sassystrawberryk @perfect-rami @txmel and @limabein for reading : ) If anyone else wants added to the taglist, let me know. I’ve greatly appreciated the feedback!

Warnings: Smut. Ahk is a solid 20 years of age to be certain to avoid any squick factor.

“My god . . . we’re in Thebes.”

Ahkmenrah’s expression darkened at your use of the Greek name for his beloved city.

“I prefer its true name to that of the conquerors, but yes, that is where you now are.”

“This is incredible,” you uttered, walking toward the outer wall of what was clearly a palace, laying your hand against the warm stone, half expecting your hand to just fall through it like a ghost’s.

You looked at Ahk and your mouth dropped open into a smile of awe. Your heart was thudding inside of your chest, and you thought that this is what it must feel like when someone is about to die from happiness.

Ahkmenrah’s face returned your joyful grin, and he asked, “Are you ready to go inside?”

Your ecstatic smile fell from your face as you took in his appearance and your own.

“Ahk! Our clothes—we can’t be seen here like this. I can’t be seen at all! I don’t look like an Egyptian!”

Ahkmenrah reached out and grasped your upper arms, locking his eyes onto yours, steadying you.

“It is okay, Y/N,” he spoke slowly. “This is a memory. Or what I have come to call an ‘advanced memory.’”

“Advanced?”

“While the tablet seems to be able to open a portal to the underworld, it cannot, as far as I have figured out, open a door to the past, unless it is through a memory. So, I focused on a specific part of my childhood, wanting desperately to see my parents and siblings again, and when I configured the tablet, a door opened and brought me here.”

“So, we really are in the past?”

“Sort of. We are inside of my memory of the past. People cannot see me, but I am as the Akh in my ability to interact with them.”

“Interact? The Akh? As in one’s spiritual self who returns to earth to re-do wrongs, or something like that?”

“Come. It’s easier to show you,” Ahkmenrah said, before asking if he could put the tablet in your backpack for safe keeping.

You shook your head and after he zipped up the tablet, he reached for your hand, pulling you forward as he pushed open the palace door.

As archeologists unearthed more of ancient Egypt, they had discovered that the dusty stone palaces were once bright and colorful, all thanks to some hunks of stone that had been sheltered from the elements for a few millennia.

But looking at a small section of colorful stone could only allow the human imagination to delve so deep. Being there, in Ahk’s past memory, you were overwhelmed by the richness of the colors, by the ornateness of the details on everything from the floors to the walls to the ceilings. Depictions of the gods and their actions were everywhere, along with idioms, almost reminiscent of those found in today’s homes, although you had yet to read anything that was quite as cliché as something like, “Home is Where the Heart is.”

You could’ve spent a lifetime analyzing what was just an entry room, but the great wooden door thunked closed behind you. The sets of guards standing on either side glanced in your direction but made no movement that indicated they saw you or felt your presence.

“I am not really sure what they see when we interact with inanimate things,” Ahkmenrah explained. “If they do see anything at all.”

As Ahk lead you inward, you noticed that the room was getting taller. It was such a gradual change that you marveled at the engineering. After you had been walking for several minutes, you also noticed that there was a bright, golden sun carved into each stone, and as you stepped forward it was also growing larger.

Every pillar was painted and held intricate carvings that were clearly telling a story; Ahkmenrah explained that they told many of the same stories that had been immortalized in his papyruses.

“Though, these stories tend to focus more on the members of our royal line of succession than on my common relatives,” he explained.

By the time you reached the throne room, the pillars were so tall that they seemed to disappear into the ceiling, and the sun had grown so large that as you entered the throne room, it took up almost the entire space of the floor, its brightness deafening.

You wanted to look elsewhere, but the yellow paint of the sun held your gaze, and then you realized why the paint in the throne room was different than that on the stone walkway—

“Ahkmenrah,” you whispered as you dropped to the floor and touched the sun in disbelief. “This is . . . it’s made of . . . of gold.”

Ahkmenrah laughed, a deep laugh that echoed through the room. You glanced up, your eyes scanning the rows of the guards that lined the throne room and the small crowds of people that milled about, but his laughter caused no disturbance.

“Yes, Y/N. As are many, many things that you will encounter in the palace. What’s a bit of gold to the king of Egypt?” Ahkmenrah said through a smirk that did nothing to hide his pride at your reaction.

“I think I need a minute to just sit here.”

Ahkmenrah held his hand out to you, stating, “That is one thing we do not have a lot of. According to my calculations, 15 minutes inside of my memory is nearly 45 minutes in reality. I don’t think I want to know what happens if I fail to return to the present before dawn.”

You let Ahkmenrah help you up and lead you up the stairs to the throne. You stepped past a man, clearly a foreigner, who was kneeling on the stairs and speaking in an unfamiliar language.

You stopped and stared as you took in a young Ahkmenrah, clearly only a boy of 8 or 9 years old. He was so adorable that you felt your heart swell and your face break into a grin. His curls were closely cropped, and he wore a small golden crown. He was shirtless, not yet old enough to don something as sophisticated as a Wesekh, but he wore a thick band of gold as a necklace that was connected by two golden, painted Horuses. His shendyt was short, flowing, and dyed a deep blue with ribbons of bright purple threading. He stood stoically beside his father while his father listened to the man on the stairs.

On the other side stood Kahmunrah, clearly bored and far too old to be entertaining himself by stepping on a line of ants that were moving between two of the stones on the floor. Looking between the two boys, you saw that Kahmunrah was Ahkmenrah’s opposite in almost every way. While they shared the same dark, curly hair, stature, and skin tone, Kahmunrah’s face was cruel instead of kind, his eyes dark, like his father’s, and his lips were thin, prone to curling into a sneer as he made no point to hide his boredom.

You whispered to Ahk, “I can’t recall the name of your father.”

“Merenkahre.”

Merenkahre was handsome and emitted a strong feeling of ancient power from the way he sat statue-still to the boom of his voice as he addressed the man on the stairs. Merenkahre seemed to bear only a slight resemblance to his youngest son, and you wondered if Ahk’s appearance favored his mother.

Ahkmenrah interrupted your observations as he spoke up from beside you, “Let me show you how I can interact with them.”

He moved closer to his younger self and bent to ask, “What are you thinking about in this moment?”

No one but you and Ahkmenrah paid any attention as his younger self spoke in a hushed, hurried tone, almost as if he were speaking in a stream-of-consciousness.

You picked up on a word, maybe two, but looked at Ahk, puzzled.

“He, well, I said, ‘I wonder what this man’s village looks like because his clothes are reflective of the very strife of which he speaks. I need to ask father to show me where the village lies on the great map in his office. Perhaps he does not honor the gods in the same way as us, so they punish him and his people? If so, we need to help because we have the means to do so. No one should be starving while we have so much.’”

“Were you always so serious?” you asked, smiling at this little version of Ahkmenrah who returned to studying the man as if he had never even spoken.

“In the throne room, yes. I understood what it meant to be a king. My brother never did. Come, watch this.”

Ahkmenrah moved to stand beside his brother and asked of him the same thing.

“Boring, bored, boring. Why doesn’t father just kill him? He has the power of Ra. He could squash him like all these tiny ants. ANTS tremble before me, the great Kahmunrah and future king of all of things great and small! Ha! Ha-ha!”

“Good god,” you said. “He’s. . .”

“Disturbed. I know, well, I certainly know that now. This is mild compared to some of the other thoughts I have pulled out of him during my visits. He hid the more extreme aspects of himself well, but not well enough since my parents skipped him and crowned me instead.”

Ahkmenrah gave Kahmunrah one more forlorn look before taking your hand and leading you out of the throne room.

Instead of exiting through the entrance of the throne room, you went off to the right. Ahk led you through an archway that headed into an outdoor hallway that ended by opening into an elaborate garden. It was a small oasis with grass and large fern-like plants, trees cropped up in tall clusters and provided ample shade, and flowers that you had never seen before blossomed along tiny streams that flowed out of a large fountain.

Ahkmenrah’s feet followed a well-worn path to a hammock-like seat in the upper corner of the garden.

“This was one of my favorite places as a child. It is in the center of the palace and separates our house from our place of business. I played here in peace or with my sisters. Kahmun never had much interest in our games or in nature. See that tree over there, how it is much smaller than the others? Kah cut it down when we were playing a game, but Sitmut and I nursed it back to life.”

You were quiet for a few moments, the weight of your question filling you with dread.

“Ahk, have you returned to the time of your death?”

Ahkmenrah took a deep breath and looked at you with shame in his eyes.

“I want to know, Y/N. I have always wanted to know, but I am not sure I am ready. I am not sure I can do it alone.”

“Get that damn look off your face. You have nothing to be ashamed of—who, in their right mind, wouldn’t feel afraid to witness their own death? You don’t have to do anything alone, Ahkmenrah. You have me.”

Ahkmenrah looked at your face, his eyes searching to make sure you were serious.

“When I am ready, will you return with me to that memory?”

“Of course,” you said, cupping his face and kissing him.

“Thank you.”

You and Ahk sat together, enjoying the garden for a few more minutes before Ahkmenrah whispered that he’d like for you to meet his mother.

He took your hand again and lead you out of the north end of the garden. You walked for what felt like forever through hallway after hallway. You couldn’t believe the size of this palace; your precious books fell so short in comparison to being here, seeing, smelling, touching everything you had only ever read about, and it made you feel heady, overwhelmed in the most delightful way.

Finally, you could hear voices, the pretty trill of feminine laughter spilling out beneath a door. As Ahkmenrah pushed open the door, you found yourself squinting into the sunlight until you realized that the courtyard was not only full of sunlight, but full of women, mostly in white, flowing garments, while white linens hung in the doorways that led into other hallways, all billowing in the slight breeze. You looked around, your head moving comically fast as you noted just how diverse the body types of the women were. Ancient Egyptians were vain, believing that however they painted themselves on their tombs would be however they were resurrected. If only they had known how beautiful their diversity actually made them. Perhaps you didn’t give modernity and progress enough credit sometimes.

Many of the women were topless, their breasts shaped, once again, with a diversity that was lacking in their paintings. While their skirts or gowns were mostly white, their jewelry was colorful, many of them having jewels beaded into their dark hair. You had started to walk closer to a group of women who were chatting, wanting to look at their makeup, when Ahk pulled you along into another garden. This one, however, was more subdued, filled mostly with flowers.

You knew her from her aura before you even registered the regality of her clothing. She had the same largess of presence that her son did, and the same warmth radiated from her smile as she turned and saw young Ahkmenrah approaching.

Shepseheret was dressed in a sheer bright blue skirt, her skin much darker than Ahk’s or his father’s. Her skirt was wrapped around her hips and she wore a golden belt that matched the golden beads that mixed with other colors of beads within her Wesekh. She wore no top, instead only an arm cape of a matching bright blue, mixed with another layer of purple. Her Wesekh was ornate and left only the undersides of her breasts exposed. She looked like the goddess Isis herself.

Young Ahk bowed to his mother and she opened her arms, pulling him into a tight hug that he relaxed into. Then, he began to talk to her, rapidly, as a young child with much to tell was wont to do.

Ahkmenrah translated their conversation as you observed their body language. It was clear how much love the two had for one another and it hurt you to think about how much he must miss her. She fussed over his curls and ran her hand down the side of his face before kissing his forehead.

Young Ahkmenrah had confessed his concern over Kahmun’s lack of interest in the foreigner, and his mother reassured him that Kahmun would learn to embrace his duty, and if he did not, it was up to her and Merenkahre to worry about it, not her youngest son. She praised Ahk for his sensitivity, his quiet skills of observation and told him that they were strong qualities, qualities that he must nurture.

“Ahk, she’s achingly beautiful, so warm and loving. You have her eyes and her presence.”

“I miss her very much,” Ahkmenrah said, the sadness and loneliness from the first night you met filling his eyes.

You squeezed his hand before Ahkmenrah let go to approach his mother. He looked at her face for a long moment before asking her what she was thinking.

She whispered a short, simple sentence, and Ahkmenrah translated it with a thickness in his voice.

“Ahkmen, my sweet, loving boy. I wish I could keep you safe with me, here, always.”

Your eyes filled with tears at the genuineness of her love for her son, and you looked away, feeling like you were intruding on something deeply intimate.

Ahkmenrah, not missing your reaction stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“What is it?”

“The two of you. . . you’re just so pure, so raw in your emotion. She loves you so much, and it’s almost as if she knew that fate was going to take you from her.”

Ahkmenrah gripped you tightly and kissed your temple.

“So many retellings of our history are rife with betrayal, anger, and a hunger for power. But I was so happy here, so happy with my parents and sisters, even my brother. This is what I was hoping you would understand—we were unafraid of loving, of sharing, of truly living each day to its potential.”

“And it was cut so short for you. I’m sorry for that, Ahk. Sorry that you never got to experience having a family of your own.”

“It makes me sorry, too. But,” Ahkmenrah said, turning you in his arms, “fate brought me to you.”

You smiled, his words wrapping you in a warmth that rivaled the heat of the desert.

“How much time do we have left?”

Ahkmenrah pulled a watch out of his pocket.

“Another hour. What would you like to see?”

“How about your room?”

Ahkmenrah led you down another series of corridors, not too far from his mother’s wing of the palace. His room was as you had imagined a young prince’s room would be—large, ornate, and with a great view. His room opened onto a balcony that overlooked the Nile and the many farms of Egypt that littered the banks. The view took your breath away, and once again, you found yourself wishing you could spend an eternity here, just gazing out over the land of this ancient civilization.

Ahk’s movements inside his room drew your attention back to him. He was laid out on what you assumed was a bed. It was small, and it was comprised of a woven mat. Ahk’s head currently rested on a curved slab of marble, and you scoffed, unable to believe that living people slept like that. You had always assumed the Egyptians’ discovered version of a pillow was used only for entombment. Apparently, you were wrong.

“I guess the luxury of a big bed with fluffy pillows wasn’t something that came about until people got a bit lazier,” you said as you poked at the bed.

Ahk twisted out and gestured for you to get in. You cautiously laid down, terrified you were going to fall through it, wondering how the hell anyone could’ve copulated on such a thing.

You fit your head onto the pillow, and fixed Ahkmenrah with a look of disgust.

“No, not lazier. People just got smart enough to realize that sleeping on a rock sucks.”

Ahkmenrah chuckled and then fixed you with a slightly lecherous look. “I know that is not all you are wondering about.”

You huffed and sat up, attempting to bounce slightly on the bed only to realize that there was absolutely no give on the mat.

“Care to show me how that worked then?”

Ahkmenrah ushered you into an adjoining room, this one even more private than his bedroom.

Your mouth dropped open as you took in the elaborateness of this room. In the center was a large bath, closer to how you would define a small swimming pool than a bathtub. It had four carved pillars that formed fountain heads in the shape of the god, Min, that were running with water flowing from—

“Ahkmenrah, I think this room is vastly inappropriate for a child.”

He laughed, explaining, “We are educated about sex at a young age. We grow up knowing that it is our responsibility to pray to the gods for fertility, not only to propagate amongst ourselves but to also propagate the land. Fertility was the center of most of our worship, and that,” Ahkmenrah said, gesturing to the very prominent phallic fountain head, “was a very strong sign of it.”

For the millionth time that evening, you found yourself caught up in the disproportion of reading about something versus actually experiencing it.

You went back to studying the room and noted that the water itself was littered with petals. It smelled so sweet it was almost like a narcotic, rushing to calm your mind.

All around the bath were various steps or stone curves with blankets and squares of stuffed fabric that resembled pillows. Also littered around the room were mirrors, some of them directing beams of sunlight from openings in the roof directly into the bath.

“The mirrors—that’s how the bath was kept warm. How clever!”

“Most of the mirrors serve that purpose, yes. As you can see, once I got older, this is where I would . . . entertain.”

You looked around the room once more, taking it all in. You imagined what it would have been like to have been a guest of young king Ahkmenrah—except you didn’t really have to only imagine it.

“How much time do we have again?”

“Mmm, about 40 minutes now.”

You turned to face Ahk, your chin tilted up in a haughty stance, and declared, “I’d like to conduct some research.”

His face split into a wicked grin as he pulled off his t-shirt and stalked to you, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. Quickly, you both undressed, but you hesitated, clearly unsure about how this would work.

“I think you need to command me, my king,” you said with a shy smile.

Ahkmenrah looked at you with half-lidded eyes, a lazy smile on his lips as he stepped into the bath, settling with arms spread out to either side of him, completely relaxed.

“Come here, my queen. Slowly. I want to watch you.”

You walked to the edge of the bath, eyeing the steps inside of it. You sedately entered, allowing the warmth of the water to pull you further and further in.

Once the water was up to your collar bones, standing on your tiptoes, you hesitated, waiting for another command.

“Sit on my lap.”

You moved slowly through the deep water and back into the shallow as you stepped up to take a seat on Ahkmenrah’s lap. The water ran down your freshly exposed skin in tiny rivulets, cooling your breasts and making your nipples impossibly hard.

“Kiss me.”

You bent your head and kissed him, languishing in the taste and feel of his tongue as it swirled with your own. You ran your hands along as much of his skin as you could touch, and when you were both nearly breathless, Ahkmenrah tilted his head back, breaking the kiss. He looked into your eyes, his pupils dilated. You watched his lips form the command that sent a shiver of lust down your spine.

“Fuck me.”

The starkness of his command, the pure power that radiated from his eyes as he looked at you when he said it, made you wetter than the bath itself.

When you centered yourself above his cock, slowly lowering onto him, you noticed that you could see yourself in one of the mirrors that was directly behind the bath, and that mirror pointed directly at a mirror Ahkmenrah was staring into. You looked at him and he gave you that wicked grin again.

Your breathing picked up at the thought of just how sensual this was, and both of your moans mingled and reverberated through the room as you sunk down and engulfed his hard length.

Ahkmenrah never moved his arms from their place on the edge of the tub as you rode him, so you shifted your own hips and chased your own orgasm as you leaned back, your breasts a tantalizing sight for him as you bounced, splashing water over the sides of the bath. Never once did he buck his hips. Never once did he reach out to cup your breasts or bend to take a nipple between his lips. Never once did he grasp your hips to control your movements.

You were almost flabbergasted by how quickly you found your orgasm, watching your mirror-self bite your lip as your climax took hold, eyes rolling back, surprised at just how erotic it had been to be commanded by your soft, sweet Ahk.

It was clear that this was his place, his time, and he was a king here.

You slowed down a bit to catch your breath, but Ahkmenrah commanded, this time in a more biting tone to remind you who was in charge, “Fuck me.”

You entered a new state of bliss as you continued to drive Ahkmenrah to his own peak of pleasure, your thighs trembling with your continued movements, your hands digging into his shoulders, leaving tiny nail marks in his skin. When his mouth finally parted as his head lolled back, a stream of ancient Egyptian tumbled from his lips in a deep growl as he climaxed, his hands tightening on the edge of the bath.

You, fully enmeshed in this fantasy, didn’t stop moving until Ahkmenrah commanded it, the muscles of his own thighs twitching beneath yours.

Once his breathing steadied, he raised his head to meet your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” you breathed, his softening cock still inside of you.

“Of course,” he whispered, clearly returning to the persona of Ahk that you were used to, and as you kissed him, he wrapped his arms around you, finally shifting to pull his cock from inside of you as he moved you to the center of the bath to ease the goosebumps on your upper arms.

You were wrapped up inside the warmth of the water and of Ahk’s arms and longed for this to be your life. No more stress, no more decisions, no more school, no more need for money, nothing but Ancient Egypt and Ahkmenrah.

Except this was only a memory, a place confined to the limits of Ahk’s own experiences.

And as if he read your mind, Ahkmenrah pulled you out of your thoughts as he said, “I’m sorry, Y/N, but we need to return.”

You looked at him, taking his face in your hands, running a watery hand through his hair.

“Thank you for bringing me here. This is . . . incredible. I was just wishing that we could—”

“Do not get stuck in that wish, Y/N. It would be too easy for us to just stay here, to just be stuck inside of this, but that is what we would be. Stuck.”

You raised your brow and with an alarming sincerity said, “I could be okay with stuck.”

Ahkmenrah laughed softly and kissed your nose. “I appreciate that, but we both know it isn’t true. Come on, my queen. Let us redress in our regal clothing of the present.”

You chuckled at Ahk’s quip and climbed out of the bath to dress. He pulled the tablet from your backpack and opened a doorway that led you out of his memory and back to the museum.

* * * * *

After experiencing Ahkmenrah’s memory, you redoubled your efforts on your dissertation, finding that your writing flowed with a new ease. If you wrote anything that needed backed up with more research, your chairs would catch it. After all, every good thesis took some risks that sometimes took their authors their entire life to fully prove.

For the next two weeks, you built time into your routine to visit Ahk and explore his memories. The two of you had worked your way up to his crowning and through the first few years of his rule. It was almost time to return to the night of Ahkmenrah’s death, that thought filling you both with dread.

However, Ahk didn’t know that you were also carrying another heavy burden; you had to make a decision about Ryan’s invitation.

It was once again the first Saturday of the month, so you were headed to the museum’s after-dark tours. Your latest chapter was submitted to your chairs, and that gave you a little time to relax while you waited on their feedback.

Ahkmenrah was standing in the lobby in his full regalia, waiting for one of the volunteers to count out the members of his tour group. You gave him a wave, and his face brightened when he saw you.

“Can I join this group, please?” you asked of the somewhat frazzled volunteer.

They nodded without looking up and declared Ahk’s group filled. You loved watching him walk confidently around the museum, interacting with the public, the authority of his presence something that people accepted, unable to figure out why a young museum docent would elicit such a feeling.

Ahkmenrah was clearly a favorite, and two teen girls whispered excitedly beside you, talking about how hot the docent was. You smiled to yourself, imaging that you’d be thinking the same thing at their age, at least for a minute before you found yourself asking no less than a hundred questions about ancient Egyptian life.

Ahkmenrah was about halfway through the tour, when you saw Ryan approaching. You couldn’t stop the dread that filled your stomach in an instant as you wondered what he was doing here. Ryan, at first, didn’t notice Ahkmenrah.

“Hey, Ry. What are you doing here?”

Ryan raised his brows, “Seriously?”

You huffed in response. “I told you we’d talk when I was ready.”

“Babe. It’s a week out. I’ve let you mull it over for two weeks. I’m dyin’ here without an answer.”

Ahkmenrah had definitely noticed Ryan, and even more definitely noticed when the tour moved on and you did not. He could tell something was wrong by the distress on your face. He led his group into the next exhibit and told them they had ten minutes to explore on their own before moving on.

The glitter of Ahkmenrah’s apparel caught your eye as he approached, and once again, your nerves seemed to ignite, anxiety clawing its ugly way around your chest.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Ahk interrupted, clearly sending a signal to Ryan that he was very aware of your discomfort.

Ryan took in Ahkmenrah’s appearance, a little surprised, then smirked.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her, mate,” Ryan said. “She’s certainly not listening to me.”

“What do you mean?” Ahkmenrah asked, his brows furrowing slightly, but his posture remaining straight and intimidating, even though he was smaller than Ryan.

“We don’t need to talk about this now, Ahk. In fact, it really wasn’t something I wanted to talk about at all. With anyone.”

“Y/N, I’m trying to be patient because I want to do this with you. We could be happy, really happy. You’ve never been good at just letting life hand you a little bit of something good. Just because this doesn’t come with some steep, universal price, you don’t want to believe it could be a damn good thing!”

Ahkmenrah’s expression remained mostly stoic, but you could feel him growing angry just by the slight tightening of his mouth and his intake of breath.

“Ryan, let’s just go. Let’s talk about this—”

“Oh, I think you should talk about it here, Y/N,” Ahkmenrah interrupted, turning his stormy eyes from Ryan’s face to your’s.

Ryan was quiet, and watched the interaction, wondering if you’d lied to him about Ahkmenrah not being your boyfriend.

“Ahk, no. You’ve got a tour, and this is really complicated,” you said, a desperate edge hanging onto each of your words.

Ahkmenrah’s clipped tone shot through you. “Complicated? You seem to spend a lot of time getting yourself into complicated situations with a variety of people, don’t you?”

“That’s not fair. This has nothing to do with you, with us.”

Ryan couldn’t stop himself, and you wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor when he raised his voice and said, “Us? I knew you were fucking this guy! Damnit, Y/N. You said there was nothing there, and like a fucking idiot I believed you!”

Your eyes darted around the crowded museum, your hushed conversation and now Ryan’s outburst clearly drawing attention. You could only imagine what your trio of confrontation looked like to outsiders. A glittering pharaoh, a muscular Australian, and a girl who wished she were a piece of tapestry on the wall.

“You do not speak to her in that manner!” Ahkmenrah’s voice boomed, causing you to jump a little.

“Oh, no, no, no. We are not doing this, not here, no, no, no,” you said as you grabbed each of them by the arm and pulled them into the nearest stairwell.

As soon as the door banged shut, Ryan was in Ahkmenrah’s face.

“She has the opportunity of a lifetime in front of her. Do you want to be the one to fuck it all up?”

Ahkmenrah’s gaze, still thunderous as he glared up into Ryan’s face, said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ryan stepped back and crossed his arms, the desire to fight receding as he realized he was the one with the atom bomb in his pocket.

“Tell him.”

You slumped against the wall, and ran your hands through your hair before sighing, “Ryan’s gotten a grant that will take him to Africa and to the Museum of Cairo for a total of six months. He can get me a spot, and if I went, I’d leave next week. It’s . . . it’s the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Ahkmenrah looked at you, the fight having gone out of him with every word you spoke until there was nothing left in his eyes but that familiar, distant sadness.

No one said anything for a long time.

“I need to return to my tour,” Ahkmenrah said, his cape trailing behind him as he pulled open the stairwell door and left you and Ryan alone in the echoing stairway.

“Nothing going on between you and the pharaoh, huh?”

“Oh, shut up, Ry. Don’t act like you never saw other girls.”

“I guess that should’ve been my big clue. You never really were jealous.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Does that mean I have my answer?”

You looked at him, his sandy hair, his handsome, clever face, his strong arms, and you met his blue eyes for what you thought would be the last time for a long, long time. They reflected the sadness you felt at the realization that this was it—there would never be anything else between the two of you because you weren’t in love with him.

“I can’t go with you, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded. He didn’t say anything as he pulled you into a long, tight hug, one last time. He let you bury your face in his chest, until you could stop the threat of tears. When you pulled back and looked up at him, he said, “I hope he’s worth it, babe.”

Ryan turned to jog down the stairs and you listened to the steady echo of his receding footfalls.

* * * * *

By just after midnight, the museum was completely empty of its strangers. You had spent the last few hours brooding in the break room, waiting for the tours to finish. Many of the exhibits were still dancing, carrying on and living their best un-lives, and the party atmosphere provided a stark contrast to the anxious dread that filled your mind.

As was becoming the habit when you fucked up, Ahkmenrah was sitting on the bench in his exhibit, his face a mask of disquiet contemplation. Before you could take a seat next to him, he raised his hand, stopping you, and said, “I want to go back to the night I died. I meant it when I said I needed you there. But after that, we will no longer see each other.”

“Ahk, I’m not going with Ryan because—”

“No. This is exactly what I feared when we crossed that line between friendship and created a deeper, more intimate connection. It is not fair to you nor to me. We have been foolish and—"

“Damnit, Ahkmenrah! I’m not going because I’m in love with you!”

Ahkmenrah lowered his gaze to the floor and closed his eyes, his voice maintaining an enviable steadiness as he spoke. “Please, Y/N. Stop. I am a means to an end for you. Once you have finished your dissertation, I will become nothing more than a remnant, a period of time that you look back on until you do not even want to do that anymore.”

“You’re wrong! Time doesn’t work like that when—”

“DO NOT LECTURE ME ABOUT TIME, Y/N!” Ahkmenrah shouted, his voice reverberating through his exhibit, his Anubis statues shifting, reminding you of their spears.

Your eyes filled with tears and your lip trembled, threatening to break the dam you had so cautiously built to contain your emotions over these last few months.

“Be here before sunset tomorrow,” Ahkmenrah stated, his tone dismissing you.

“Okay,” you said, your voice weak and strained, fighting off the lump in your throat that threatened to choke you.

You got as far as the first few steps from the door of the entrance to the museum, and as it shut behind you, you sunk onto the cold, stone stairs, your head in your hands, and sobbed.

Alone in his exhibit, Ahkmenrah let out a shaky breath as a single tear slid down his cheek.

#Ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah fanfiction #ahk #ahkmenrah imagine #ahkmenrah x reader #NATM #natm ahkmenrah #rami malek #rami malek character #ahk x reader

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blog-sliverofjade · 4 years

Text

Omega Protocol 23: Bite Me

Summary: In the mid-21st century, the elite decided to cement society’s strata into our DNA, creating a genetic caste system. One of the early Omegas is cryogenically frozen and forgotten. Revived nearly two centuries later, she has no idea what she has become and has to navigate a strange new world while surrounded by Alphas, whatever those are.

Leading the military arm of his people in exile on a dangerous planet is no easy feat for Captain Niklaus Reed. He has to build and secure a settlement against megafauna straight out of the Ice Age before families start arriving on the distant planet. When an Omega is found in an old research base, things become… complicated.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 24

Word Count: 2172

Credit to @pandabearer for beta reading!

Waking up to yet another bland room and ensconced in a bed that quietly registered her vitals made Emma want to scream, but the pounding in her head made her reconsider that urge. Easing to a sitting position woke other pains in other places. She winced, hissed, and grunted with each shift until she managed to swing her legs over the edge. Geez, and she’d thought she was sore after getting knotted through her heat. That was nothing compared to this.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” she muttered with a rueful pat to the mattress. The bed must have tattled on her because a knock came at the door a minute later. “Unless you’re Dr. Nguyen or Mihaela, go away.” The door swung open to reveal Captain Reed. Since there’d be no getting rid of him, she sighed and waved him in.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he frowned. She suppressed a shiver. Since when was she afraid of disappointing him? She must have hit her head harder than she thought.

“To my own room,” she replied. As inappropriate as it was, he wanted to kiss those primly pursed lips. He could have fallen to his knees in gratitude that she hadn’t lost the spark of temper whenever he’d overstepped his bounds as she saw them.

“You have a concussion.” He could hear the edge of a growl to his voice, but she barely batted an eye. “Do I need to sit on you to make sure you stay in bed, like you did to me?”

“I did not sit on you!” Her protest died as his grin grew. “But that explains the headache.” Grimacing, she squirmed to lay back down. Her features were too pale and drawn for his comfort. He’d crossed the room before he knew it and had to stop himself from touching her at the last minute. Fists held uselessly at his side, he couldn’t force himself to turn away from her. “Ok, fine, please help me before you have an aneurysm or something.”

Slipping one arm behind her shoulders and another under her knees, he picked her small form up and laid her back down a bit higher on the bed. She stiffened with a sharp inhalation and dug her fingers into his shoulders, mouth pressed into a thin, white line. By the furrowing of her brow, he presumed she was hurting rather than afraid of his touch, yet he didn’t linger more than he had to. If he wasn’t so focused on being gentle, he would have noticed the delicate sniff she gave his shoulder as he withdrew. He hooked a foot around the chair in the corner and dragged it behind him while she fiddled with the bed controls until she was comfortable.

“You’re not afraid of me,” he observed once she settled back with a contented sigh that was music to his ears.

“Should I be?” she quirked a brow.

“After… You were after. Afraid, that is.” The memory of her dark eyes wide in terror still speared through him like a lance. Now they were focused on the ridiculous pink camouflage blanket pushed to the footboard. He took the bundle of fabric and unfurled it to drape over her legs before retaking his seat.

“You were scary then,” she confessed in a tiny voice, still unable to look at him. “You were… you smelled kinda like him.” With a heavy sigh, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, wracking his brain to come up with the words to explain.

“I was feral,” he began, studying palms that a short time ago were covered in blood. “When we or someone close to us is in danger we go a little berserk in their defense. I was… I was worried about you.” For someone who was a member of the Council, negotiating the terms of exile, and accustomed to commanding people he found it ridiculous he was tongue-tied.

“Is it only Alphas?”

“Any dynamic,” he shook his head. “Although we are more susceptible to it than others.” She gnawed on her bottom lip until it was pink and swollen. He ran his hands over his face to shake thoughts from his mind that he had no business thinking.

“I didn’t know there were other people here,” she said to finally break the silence. “On the planet.”

“You weren’t the only person experimented on here,” he began. Waiting for him to collect his thoughts, the Omega reached for the water on the side table. He nudged it closer so she didn’t have to move as far. “The early Alphas and Betas weren’t easily controlled.” She snorted at the idea of trying to control the Captain, or Barbie, or Chimi, or anyone she knew in the here and now. “They were stronger than the scientists, and more of them, almost all of them permanently feral. Before long they killed their creators and had the run of the planet to themselves.”

“I guess I should be grateful that they didn’t find me back then,” she murmured, eyes a little too glassy. “Otherwise this might have happened sooner.”

“This shouldn’t have happened at all.” A crack punctuated his snarl. He followed her startled gaze to the piece of broken armrest in his hand. Scowling, he tossed it into the corner. “What were you doing out there, anyway?”

“I’m s-sorry,” she whispered, hunching in on herself. “I was too afraid of losing even one of the chickens.” The one flock was all they had. They couldn’t afford to lose a good layer. His silent glowering was worse than any yelling he could have done. To her shame, she trembled uncontrollably, still unable to look up from her fists tangled in the sheets.

“And what if we lost you? Over one chicken?” he asked softly. She recoiled as if he’d struck her.

“Technically, I’ve lived for far longer than I should have,” she mumbled, plucking idly at the soft blanket. It was Barbie’s, which, last she saw, was in her room. It still carried that smell of home, such as it was. “Besides, I’m a liability and a drain on resources.” A growl like the one he used at the nomads’ camp erupted from his chest. Before she knew what she was doing, she tilted her bowed head to the side, exposing the line of her neck. Niklaus moved so quickly all she saw was a blur at the corner of her eye, then felt a bruising, tearing pain before everything went black.

What had he done? No one knew if she could be Claimed, being the first of them. The instincts didn’t develop until the second generation, there was no precedence for bonding with one of the originals. What if she couldn’t and there were problems?

“What-?” Dr. Nguyen rushed in, summoned by the noise, and stopped when she saw the bite. If she wanted to harangue him for his rashness, she put it aside for the little female. After an agonizing eternity, the doctor had results from the bed sensors.

“Well?” he barked.

“Does she know what you did?” she snapped back.

“Is she ok?”

“Answer my question, Captain.” She spat his title derisively, hands on her slim hips. “Did she agree to this?”

“No.” His molars ground painfully with his need to shake her until answers spilled out. He would accept any censure as long as she would be fine. The Beta’s right hook caught him by surprise.

“After all that she’s been through, you…” she hissed, words failing her in her anger, and shoved him out of the room while he was still recovering from the shock of being attacked by the normally mild-mannered doctor. No matter how deserved it was.

“You can’t keep me from her.” Only Emma’s need for Nguyen’s care kept him from fighting back.

“Oh, but I can.” She folded her arms and spread her feet as if she’d be any kind of barrier between him and the door. The protective rage pouring off her would have done credit to any Alpha. “Mihaela, please grab an Alpha grade sedative. Don’t worry about needle gauge, I doubt the good captain will cooperate anyway.” She activated her comm wristband. “Lieutenant Triggs, I recommend that Captain Reed be relieved of duty due to mental instability.” She paused as she listened to his response. “Come to med bay and see for yourself. I suggest that you bring a couple of your people to make sure he cooperates.”

The throbbing ache at the juncture of her neck is what woke her. She didn’t recall getting injured there. There was a strange tension at the edges of her awareness. It sharpened, feeding into her own. The voices arguing in the distance wasn’t helping her calm down any. The monitors barely started to beep a warning over her agitated state when Nguyen came bustling in.

“You need to calm down,” the doctor crooned.

“You do realize that telling someone to calm down doesn’t work, right?” she asked with a cocked brow. Nguyen ignored the snarky response as she turned off the alarm and studied the readings. “What happened here?” she asked, gesturing to the thin skin bandage on her neck.

“You were bitten.” Her blithe tone sent the fine hairs on Emma’s neck to prickling. She froze. Bitten? That didn’t match up her with recollections of the assault. Sure, memories could get fuzzy while protecting the psyche, but she was fairly confident that it wasn’t from the nomads. Wincing at the pull of the wound and the pain between her legs, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. The doctor moved to stop her.

“Let me up. I’ve spent enough time in hospital beds to last a couple of lifetimes,” she glared up at the Beta. With a sigh, Nguyen helped her to stand. “Now, is this what I think it is?” She pointed to the mark.

“It is,” she nodded with as much grace and solemnity as Emma had seen when she was given the diagnosis.

“Is there any way to break it?” She knew she was rapidly approaching hysteria, but couldn’t bring herself to care. The squirming knot in her chest wasn’t easing up, which wasn’t helping any. Rubbing at it with the heel of her palm wasn’t making it loosen. She was pretty sure she’d only succeeded in bruising her breastbone, but she couldn’t stop, wanting to carve the odd sensation out of her like a parasite.

“Emma…” Nguyen began soothingly.

“Answer me!” The doctor wet her lips and sighed, shaking her head. Continuing to dig at her chest, the Omega began pacing the small room, her quickening steps mirroring the manic spiral of her thoughts. I’m trapped. I was finally starting my life. Free of illness. Got a job. Making friends. Real choices. He ripped that away from me because he thought I couldn’t function as an independent adult. Because of what they did to me. It’s all been taken from me again!

A slender hand gently tugged her wrist away from her breast. Startled, she looked down to find her own smeared with crimson. Nguyen said something, but she couldn’t hear over the pounding of her own heartbeat and ragged breathing. The older woman was leading her towards a hospital bed. No, she didn’t want to go back. She was better.

Shivers wracked her body and she sank down to the floor, ignoring the twinges in her backside. Dropping her forehead against her drawn up knees, she tried to breathe through the impending panic attack. Thoughts buzzed in her mind like the inhabitants of an upended wasp nest. Society might have drastically changed during her extended snooze, but she was pretty sure both parties still were supposed to consent. A curiously soothing sensation bloomed between her breasts as if in response.

The foreign feeling had the opposite effect. Anxiety shot through Emma like poison. The doctor was speaking to her, but a curious droning filled her ears, drowning out all sounds. She jumped to her feet and dashed for the exit, all physical discomfort forgotten in her terror. Throwing the door wide open, the hall was thick with people who turned to stare at her in surprise. Cold sweat trickled along the hairline of her temples and slithered down the small of her back. Footsteps from behind spooked her into jackrabbiting again, leaping to her right. As if someone had pressed play on a paused movie, motion erupted in the corridor. Bodies roiled and she ducked and dodged, diving through at least one pair of legs.

Flesh covered coils of steel wrapped around her from behind and lifted. She threw her head back, but dazed herself against a chin instead of a nose. Her bare feet collided with at least one set of genitals and a face before they were pinned. A sting in her arm brought ice seeping into her blood. Her last coherent thought was, I don’t want to wake up different again.

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