#sorry that this ended up as me just talking about trey's birthday story for...about as long as trey talked about mustard. whoops.

[egophiliac]

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.

there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.

for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #platinum jacket birthday #sorry that this ended up as me just talking about trey's birthday story for...about as long as trey talked about mustard. whoops. #i have said it before and i'll say it again though #the birthday cards have the best and most insane lore and i love them #especially for trey. he wants us to believe he's just some ordinary dude SO bad but he also keeps saying shit like this. #although to be fair as soon as rook enters the building the weirdness bell curve gets immediately fubar'd #so i guess it's all relative #me any time the characters brush off the most whackadoodle bonkers nonsense: why are they not questioning...oh wait #this is a universe in which rook exists and is a real person that they know #never mind please continue

[kimbap-r0ll]

For the challenge can I request trey clover for “Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now.”

Ooh, this sounds like fun, I tried making something a bit funny for this!

“Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now” Trey x gn!reader

You two had done a sin. A terrible, horrible treason against the Queen of Hearts.

You two had snuck a cake in during the night to eat.

Trey was a bit hungry but he was trying his best to not eat anything, until you complained that you were hungry too.

“Why not we both make ramen then?” you suggested, kicking your feet up on the spare chair that was in his room.

“I thought about it,” he tipped his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “But rule 30 states that ‘noodles are to be eaten during a snowy day,’” Trey replied, “I don’t know if it’s a safe bet.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you say, sighing and resting your head on your hand. Then it hit you.

“What about cakes? Technically we should be okay?” you remembered that there was leftover cake from Ace’s birthday party still in the kitchen, so you were thinking it would be okay. Besides, it wasn’t like it was a tart, so it should be alright, right? “I guess you’re right,” Trey nodded, he smiled at you. “You could’ve just asked me to make you something too, you know.”

“Yeah I know but still I wanna finish it before it gets devoured by Grim,” you remembered the little cat creature that was with the Ramshackle prefect. You were just a regular Heartslabyul student, but you couldn’t help wonder how it would’ve been like to be in Ramshackle instead. You tried to memorize every single rule but it was near impossible in the house you were in. So, here the two of you were. 

The two of you snuck out of the room quietly, making sure no one was around. But on the way, the two of you had almost knocked over a vase, almost fallen face first into the rug in the hallways, and almost fallen down the stairs. Sure Trey’s eyesight might not be the best, but the fact that it was both of you falling and tripping made it seem assured that Riddle would wake up and check on what was going on.

Thankfully, the two of you made it safely into the kitchen, hungry and wanting to finish the cake before Riddle saw the two of you. But while you two were slicing it up and sharing it, the two of you couldn’t help but share funny stories. Trey talked about the times when Riddle and he would play hide-and-seek secretly with Chenya and the cat-like student would just disappear to win. You shared stories about how Ace almost knocked Deuce’s head off during croquet.

“Haha, I can't believe he’s been in so much trouble already,” he wiped a tear and set down his fork. “Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now,” he said and as if on cue, a hand came down to rest on your shoulder from behind.

“Seems you are correct, Trey, Y/n.”

Great.

“R-Riddle! I mean, h-housewarden!” you jumped out of your seat, and Riddle crossed his arms. Trey also jumped out, standing next to you. 

“Have you both forgotten rule number 679? ‘No foods are to be consumed after nine o’clock unless they are legumes. I don’t think cake counts, does it?” Riddle smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Y-you’re correct, housewarden,” you dropped your gaze to your feet. 

"The two of you didn't know this?" now he was questioning you two.

"No, I tried but-"

"I don't want excuses y/n, tell me the truth," Riddle seemed to read you right away.

"Yeah, I didn't memorize past 300," you bit your lower lip, waiting for Riddle to lash out at you. But he didn't, instead he patted your back.

"It's fine, besides, I've decided to become a bit more lenient nowadays," he replied. He looked at Trey but your boyfriend just avoided his eyes.

"What about you, Trey?" he asked the vice dorm leader.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," he just lowered his gaze similarly to you.

“Well, I’ll be expecting the two of you to write a 2,000 word essay about your mistake, due at the end of the day tomorrow. Have a good night,” he quickly turned around and went to his room. 

“Trey, you should’ve done something,” you nudged the vice dorm leader who was standing there awkwardly.

“Nah, it’s fine, besides it’s just 2,000 words,” he shook his head. It was a sarcastic comment, and you were sure he was regretting eating the cake. But then he picked up the slice he hadn’t finished. “We’re in trouble now, might as well finish this though!”

You laughed, “You’re right. Cheers,” you picked up your own plate and walked with him as the two of you were eating. The cake was worth the trouble.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst x reader #anon ask #ask box #follower event #twst trey #twst trey clover #twst trey x reader #trey x y/n #gn!reader #twst heartslabyul #heartslabyul x reader

[shiny-jr]

I did the math and I have a warning for you twst players on the English server who like to spend your gems immediately to collect all the cards. Here’s how I realized the looming problem... 

I was talking with a friend about twst and spending on cards when I suddenly had a flashback to October of 2020. I remember seeing a strange amount of official art from twst and lots of people who played it back then (it was fairly new and only in Japanese) freaking out. So of course, not being able to recall much, I looked it up and I remembered everything. Buckle up, y’all, because during October they’ll likely give us the Halloween event that has not one, not two, but three individual SSRs (and SRs) you have to wish for them you want to get them. Anyways, there’s also a second Halloween event with three more SSRs but I don’t think they’d dump that much on us all of a sudden. At least, I’m hoping not... 

I’ll list the Halloween characters you can wish for at the very end, in case you may or may not want to look since some people may kinda consider those spoilers I guess. BUT before that, there’s more I have to warn you about. 

Like I said, I did the math. Scarabia started about April 5. This is where the numbers roll in. Hear me out. Pomefiore dropped this June, right? Meaning it took about three months for Scarabia to end. Accounting the fact that each chapter gets longer as we progress, I predict that Ignihyde will fall at a very bad time for those who like to collect all the cards. Let’s say Pomefiore takes about four months, so it’s longer than Scarabia. In the case that it does actually take about four months or a little longer, that means Ignihyde may drop sometime between September or October. Which is ALSO when the Halloween event would take place. So around the same time you’d have those three Halloween SSRs, Idia SSR, Ortho SSR, all around the same time (also considering they don’t decide to drop the second Halloween event too). Not to mention the birthday cards between then which are Jamil Viper (September 12th), Ace Trappola (September 23rd), Jack Howl (October 11th), Trey Clover (October 25th), Jade & Floyd Leech (November 5th). 

I could be wrong, but I just thought I’d try to give y’all a heads up in case you want to save for them. For all I know, they could push back the main story to make room for the events. Hopefully I’m wrong and we do get more time, but we never know. After all, they did dump the second beans day event on us out of nowhere. Who knows what they’ll do? Oh, and after some thought, I don’t think we’ll see the second Fairy Gala Event until after Ignihyde, considering it takes place after the whole Ignihyde mess. Again, I could be wrong, but that’s just my guess. Sorry for the long message, I’m pretty sure I sound like the gif below. Anyways, scroll past the gif if you want to see which cards might be available during Halloween. If you don’t want to see it, then don’t keep scrolling. I hope my message helps you get the cards you want! 

Here’s the Halloween cards the Japanese server got back in 2020:

and then in 2021: 

#shiny speaks #twisted wonderland #twst

[watchmegetobsessed]

Floating Through Space - Harry Styles

a/n: im literally bursting from excitement over this, i’ve been working on this fic for so long and im pretty satisfied with how it turned out so i hope you’ll like it too! pleas please PLEASE don’t let this flop bc it means a lot to me 🥺 the song featured in the fic is obviously an existing one, i linked it into the right place so you can listen to it and get the vibe of it, that song is what inspired the whole story so i recommend giving it a listen! leave your thoughts and reactions, i can’t wait to read what you thought about the fic!!

pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader

warning: drug use, smut and everything thats wrong with patriarchy lmao

word count: 25.7k

masterlist

This dressing room is no different than the other one thousand you’ve been to. The plaster on the wall is all cracked up, the red bricks peeking from under it in the corner, the dusty couch looks like it’s been through hell and just sitting on it would probably give you STDs. The mirror on the wall is cracked, the few water bottles you’ve gotten are not even cooled, they’re a warm room temperature. The glorious life of a musician, right?

Moments like this you question why you didn’t just choose to be the obedient daughter and became a surgeon like your parents always wanted you to be. You’d have a steady future and a nice income, a decent career instead of having to perform at a different bar every other night for nicks and pennies that barely cover your rent at the end of the month. But that wouldn’t be you. Wearing scrubs, smiling at patients, throwing out your dignity along with your dreams, you wouldn’t have been true to yourself if you chose that life. Besides, you’d still be in school, barely nearing the halfpoint of your education if you decided to go along with your parents’ plan and it’s clearer than daylight that the school system is just not for you. It would be pure torture if you had to sit in classes for a decade just to work a job you never even wanted.

Looking around the small dressing room you cast your eyes over your band that consists of three people. It’s a temporary set up from three guys you met along your way, all of the struggling musicians as you and you saw the as opportunities. Places would rather have a band play with several men in it than just put one single woman on stage and pray for the best. It’s the sexist part of the industry not enough people talk about. You can’t even count how many pitying stares you’ve gotten through the years when you stated that you want to make a career as a solo female singer.

“Honey, you ain’t making it without at least one man behind you,” is what they’ve always told you. So you’ve gotten yourself three until you could stand on your own two feet without a male backup. You’re using them just as much as they are using you. They were already a band when you joined them, the lead singer just disappeared to thin air with her boyfriend and left them incomplete, so you joined forces to navigate your way together in the depth of the music industry, looking for that big jump everyone is dreaming about.

Standing in front of the cracked mirror you fix your eyeliner, checking yourself once again. Your thrifted checkered suit looks radiant on you especially with the neon green see-through top underneath, showing off a black bralette. It’s a male suit, hanging a little baggy on you at places, but you still feel like you’re pulling off the look. Your thick eyeliner makes your eyes appear even bigger than they already are and your hair is in an unruly mop of curls, making your appearance complete.

You’ve received tons of critiques over your outfits, but they are the only thing you are not changing on yourself.

“Don’t wear men’s pants.”

“You’d look better in a dress.”

“Why do you look like a guy?”

“What a shame to hide such a gorgeous body in clothes that weren’t meant for girls.”

Each and every comment is burned into your mind forever and you’ll never stop fighting against the judgment women has to face for not being the conventional beauty all females are expected to be.

There’s a knock on the door and the person behind it barges in without waiting for an answer. The tall, bald guy rushes in, looking a little stressed, but that’s kind of the normal for the owner.

“I’m not sure how to say it, but… you are not performing tonight,” he simply states and your anger sets in faster than ever. You’ve had gigs get cancelled, but not minutes before going on stage. However, he is still not done with his little informative speech. “And your instruments need to be used by another band tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Trey, the drummer jumps to his feet. “No way I’m letting someone else play my drum set!”

“You’ll get half the money if you let it happen,” the owner answers.

“Wait, what band did you find minutes before start?” you ask in complete shock.

“There’s this group celebrating a birthday in the VIP section and some boy band is apparently with them. Birthday girl requested to have the stage for them.”

“And you’re just cancelling on us that easily?” you snap.

“Not that I have a choice. If I don’t do it they are leaving and I’m losing a big amount from the night. Sorry guys, but this is strictly business.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you laugh bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. This would have been a great chance for all of you, you’ve been trying to get a gig here for months, knowing that a lot of people from the industry fancies it, you might have caught someone’s eyes, but it’s definitely not happening now.

“Are you letting them use your stuff or not?” he urges, hands on his hips as he looks at the four of you impatiently.

“But what about our gig? We’ve been on the waiting list for months, when can we actually perform?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’re pretty booked, maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Summer?” you gasp in disbelief. “It’s fucking February!”

“Are you lending them your stuff or not? I don’t have the time for your little tantrum!”

“Yeah, if we get the money they can use it,” Connor, the bass guitarist answers before you explode right then and there. The owner walks out with that, leaving the four of you behind, forgotten and humiliated.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Trey groans, plopping down on the couch, covering his eyes with his tattooed arm.

“This is fucking bullshit,” you scoff under your breath, reaching for your bag to grab your pack of cigarettes you keep in it especially for cases like this, whenever you are about to go around and punch every living thing in the face in your reach.

Kicking the backdoor open you lean against the cold brick wall as you light the cigarette and start puffing vigorously, trying to get as much nicotine into your system as possible. You notice a group of guys standing near you in the alleyway, laughing on something, having a great time, oblivious to how hurt and angry you are feeling just a few feet away. You hear frictions of their conversation and it’s clear they are British judging from the accents that are hitting your ears. You finish your cigarette pretty fast and immediately reach for another one even though you know you shouldn’t have even smoked that first one, but you just can’t help it. It’s either the smoking or you’re going after the owner and kick him in the balls for being a bitch.

“Oi, can I ask for one?”

Glancing to the side you see that one of the guys has approached you, smiling at you warmly he nods towards the pack in your hands. Nodding you hold it out for him and he takes one. Before he could even ask for the lighter, you throw it at him and he catches it easily.

“Thanks,” he nods, holding the cigarette between his lips before lighting it and passing the lighter back to you.

“Lou, you really shouldn’t smoke,” you hear one of the others speak up as the rest of the group slowly joins you and the one you just helped out.

“S’fine, don’t act like me motha’,” he shrugs, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“At least not before we go on stage,” the blonde one shakes his head at his friend and your eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh, so you’re the band that’s gonna play?” you ask with a forced smile, already feeling your blood boiling. Who the fuck they are and why do they deserve to steal your gig?!

“We’re just playing a couple of songs,” another speaks up shrugging his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“Glad it’s no big deal to you, because it would have been to the band that was robbed from tonight because of you,” you spat at them, clearly surprising them with your harsh reply.

“I assume you are part of that band, right?” the on with the curly hair speaks up, his green eyes burning down at you.

“Nice job, Sherlock,” you groan, taking another drag from your cigarette.

“You could play with us,” he offers, the others nodding in agreement.

“I don’t need your pity,” you scowl at them. “Bringing me on stage to try to make yourselves look like the good guys is not necessary. I’m just fed up with people like you.” The truth is coming out of you easier than ever. All the years on injustice is seemingly erupting from you, pouring down on these five.

“People like us?” the dark haired one asks with a confused look.

“Yeah,” you nod with a bitter chuckle. “Five conventionally hot guys grouped together for a band, making every girl between the age of ten and thirty scream just by a wink. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m betting my head that you’ve had it easier than others.”

“It’s not nice to assume things when you don’t know anything about us,” Curly speaks up, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, I’ve seen enough not to care about what’s nice and what’s not,” you chuckle shaking your head as you take another long puff from your cigarette and throw the butt to the ground, stepping on it. “Who are you even? Some Back Street Boys 2.0?” you ask, folding your arms on your chest, earning a heartfelt laugh from the blondie.

“I kinda like her,” he smirks around his friends. “We’re called One Direction, you haven’t heard of us?”

“Not even once,” you shake your head.

“That’s kinda humbling,” the one with the cigarette smiles. “We’re from the UK. I’m Louis, that’s Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry.”

“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but it would be nicer if you guys didn’t just take my gig and lessen me with half my paycheck,” you smile at them sweetly before rolling your eyes.

“Wait, what? They’re not paying you because of us?” Liam asks.

“We only get half the money for lending you our instruments.”

“Let us pay the other half then,” Harry offers right away, but you just laugh at him.

“It’s not about the money, Prince Harry,” you smirk at him, tilting your head to the side. “It’s about justice. How is that air that you just waltz in here and take our time and chance? What if there’s a producer out there who would have liked our music and offered a record deal? What if someone would have taken a video of us performing, put it up to YouTube and it would have gone viral? I assume you never had to go through this phase where you have to beg for every minute on stage so you can at least earn enough money to pay rent. You don’t seem like the type of band who had to perform in smelly bars four times a week for a ridiculous amount of money.”

They stay silent and you know you were right.

“I’m not saying you had it easy, but I’m sure you have no idea what it could have been. And I’m fed up with men walking over others just to have what they want.”

“Look, it wasn’t our intention to ruin your gig. Have your set with your band and then we’ll play a few songs too after that,” Liam offers, but you shake your head.

“No, we weren’t supposed to be just your opening act and it’ll turn into that. So have a nice evening, enjoy your showtime, I’m out.”

Pushing yourself away from the wall you walk back into the building and grabbing your stuff from the dressing room you move out to the bar area, desperately needing a drink.

Sitting on the last stool at the bar you ask for straight tequila and two vodka shots knowing it’ll do the job for the evening and pulling your phone out of your bag, you open up Google. Searching the name One Direction you’re met with quite a few hits and you start scrolling through them, reading about the five boys you just had an encounter with. Just as you thought, they didn’t start off as a traditional band, having put together at a talent show just three years ago, getting such a major push so early in their career, they have no idea how struggling it is to make it in the industry. They surely had their fair share of ups and downs, but they will never know what it’s like to sweat blood and tears for your dream when everyone just wants to drag you down and tell you you’ll never make it.

The shots and half of the tequila is gone, your band joined you to at least get wasted as you watch the technicians set the stage for a band that’s not you, but gonna play with your stuff. Sitting on the stool you’re having a fairly good time thanks to the alcohol when you spot Harry making his way towards you in the crowd.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready backstage?” you ask with an eyeroll as he joins your little circle, the guys eyeing him curiously. Ignoring your comment he pulls out a piece of paper handing it to you. As you unfold it you almost want to throw it back at him.

“This is to make up for what you lost tonight,” he says nodding down at the check in your hands.

“I told you I don’t need your money,” you firmly answer, but Trey grabs the check from your hands.

“But I do!” he snorts. He is such a pig.

“Let us do at least this one thing for you. We really do feel bad for taking your time and the offer to come on stage with us still stands.”

“No thank you,” you shoot him a fake smile before downing the rest of your tequila, the drink burning down your throat. Looking back at Harry you keep your eye locked on him as he watches you intently. He is a good-looking guy, you have to give that to him, but the circumstances you’ve met under just made it impossible for you not to hate him for the privileges he is being handed every day while you fight your way through life.

Harry sighs in defeat nodding as he licks his lips. For a split second, guilt takes over you for the way you’ve been acting towards him and the other boys, but then you remember that you don’t even know him. For all you know, he can be a royal asshole with the face of an angel. You can’t let guilt chew you and spit you out, you have to keep your guards up.

“Alright. We really are sorry. I’ll… see you around,” he nods before turning around to walk away.

You watch them perform their biggest hits, the whole place going crazy over the impromptu One Direction concert they just got for basically free. The VIP area is going crazy over the boys and with each sang song, you feel yourself getting more and more hopeless about your future as a musician. Here you are on a Saturday night, robbed from a job you’ve worked hard for, watching five British boys take your place on the stage that’s supposed to be yours tonight. You catch Harry’s eyes quite often while he is on stage, he keeps glancing in your way, a hint of guilt glistening in his green irises as he sings their songs with perfect vocals. You can tell he feels bad for the situation and you didn’t make it any easier on him or any of the boys, but you’re not really one to beat around the bush. They deserved to know what others in the industry below them have to deal with every day. It’s not always as glamorous as people might think and you’re the living example of that.

You don’t stick around for long after the boys are done on stage, you help your bandmates pack their stuff and head home before Harry or any other members of One Direction can find you.

Walking past the news stand that’s on the corner of your street, you stop upon seeing your own face smiling back at you from the cover of People Magazine, the title catching your attention.

“Grammy nominee Y/N Y/L/N shares her secret to her one of a kind fashion style.”

Grabbing the magazine off the stand you pay for it and continue your way home, holding the copy to your chest with a warm feeling in your heart.

It’s been only a week since the nominations have come out, but it still feels like a dream. You didn’t just get nominated in the category of Best New Artist, but your album Hands of Power got nominated as Best Album and your biggest hit of last year, Sleepless is running for the title of Best song. Three nominations the first time earning a spot on the list. Not bad.

Just as you walk into your place, your phone buzzes, the ever so smiling face of your manager staring back at you from the screen.

“Hey!” you sing into the phone, holding it to your ear with your shoulder, taking off your boots as you walk further down the hallway.

“Are you home already?”

“Yes, just arrived.”

“Great, I’ll be there in ten,” she announces and ends the call. Chuckling you just shake your head, dropping the phone to the coffee table before you move to the bedroom and change into something more comfortable. The flared jeans looked fire on you today, but you rather wear something looser when you’re at home.

You barely have the time to start the water for a tea when Taylor storms through your door using her keys you’ve given her some time ago. She is wearing all white that looks fantastic with her almond skin tone, a knitted sweater tucked into a maxi skirt, paired with strappy heels, she is always so elegant and perfectly dressed for whatever occasion.

“I have knee-shaking news, girl!” she announces as she throws her purse to the couch before joining you in the kitchen.

“I’m going to be the next Bond girl?” you joke smiling to yourself as you get two mugs from the cupboard.

“Better than that!” she cheers. “You are going to perform at the Grammy’s, baby!” she screams throwing her hands into the air as your jaw drops to the floor.

“You’re not just kidding with me, right?!”

“I would never play such a dirty joke with you. It’s one hundred percent true, I had an hour long phone call with some bloke today and they want you.”

“Yes!” you scream in excitement, jumping up and down like a child that just got a pack of candy. “I’ll make the Grammy’s my bitch!” you cheer, making Taylor laugh.

“Alright, Miss Dominatrix. We still have a lot of things to discuss and there’s one more thing about the performance.”

“Oh God, is this the part where you say something that ruins it completely?” you sigh in defeat as you take the kettle and pour the water into the mugs, dropping a filter into each.

“I don’t think it ruins it,” she shakes her head, but you have a feeling you won’t like what she has to say. “They want it to be like a… joined performance. You’d start off with Sleepless, then it would kind of mesh into your partner’s song and they would end it with one of their own songs.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad,” you nod.

“See?” she smiles warmly.

“Do we know who I’m going to perform with?”

“Harry Styles.”

You almost drop both mugs the moment the name is mentioned, but you manage to get them to the kitchen island and slip them to the counter, Taylor giving you a questioning look at your wide-eyed expression.

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s… gonna work,” you clear your throat.

“You’re not sure your duet with the biggest male artist can work? Why is that?”

Licking your lips you try to find the right words to say it, but you’re not even sure why you got so shocked over it. Probably because the last time you saw him, you were still nobody, playing gigs at no name bars and he took your spot on the stage with One Direction. It’s weird, but since you’ve finally made it in the industry, you haven’t crossed paths with him and this would be the first time you meet after seven years.

“I’m not sure if he remembers it, but we’ve met before.”

“You and Harry?”

“Yes. I was playing with The Gambits years ago, it was before I started putting out covers on my own. We were supposed to play at this bar but they cancelled on us, because One Direction was there that night and someone wanted them to play instead of us, so we lost the gig. I had a pretty… harsh conversation with him and the band, basically telling them that their pretty man privilege is what ruins the careers of talented women.” “Oh Jesus, Y/N. Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Taylor sighs leaning on her elbows on the countertop.

“Not that it’s something that would just come up in a conversation,” you shrug. “And as I said, he might not even remember it. It was a long time ago.”

“I know you are all about your rebellious past, good for you, but sometimes you’re making my job really fucking hard,” she sighs, grabbing her phone, already typing a message to God knows who. “Starting beef with Harry Styles before you even made a name for yourself? Who does that?”

“It’s not beef!” you protest. “I just gave them my piece of mind.”

“We’ll see what he thinks about it. I have to make a few calls,” she announces before walking out, already on the phone with someone.

Sitting on a stool, staring into your mug you think back at the time you met him. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were fighting to stay afloat, trying to make through the days, barely hanging on a thread. You didn’t know that five years later you’d sign your first record deal as a solo artist and seven years from that night, you’d be a Grammy nominee. It was a long and challenging time for sure with way more downs than ups until you finally got on track and you’ll never forget where you came from. Not when even as an acknowledged artist, you still face judgment and hatred no matter what you do. Being a solo female singer sometimes feels like harder than being president of the country and there are just so many things that need to change in the world of music, you will never stop fighting for girls that are in the same shoe you once were.

Through the years you’ve followed the career of the boys, especially Harry’s. You read about Zayn’s parting, their so-called hiatus and how they all went solo soon after. Genre-wise Harry’s work is what stands the closest to you, and you’ve witnessed all the backlash he has faced during his time in the spotlight. The shaming for whatever women he chose to date, his choice to get into acting and the way he has been dressing. People just don’t seem to understand they can’t have control over any of these and they’ve tried to bring him down one too many times, but he has been thriving lately, anyone can see that.

Your mug empties out by the time Taylor returns, taking her previous stop at the kitchen island.

“Alright, I set up a meeting with Harry and his manager for tomorrow. They still haven’t decided on the performance and apparently, Harry would like to meet you before giving his answer.”

“Oh God, he remembers me,” you growl under your breath.

“Or maybe he doesn’t and just wants to meet the person he is supposed to perform with. We can never know. We’re meeting them at his manager’s office at eleven tomorrow.”

One night is enough to make you go crazy over such a small thing as meeting someone. It’s not like you are nervous to see him because of who he is, it’s more about knowing what he thinks about you after all these years, in case he remembers you. He saw you as a struggling artist at rock bottom and though your encounter didn’t last long and he didn’t know you on a deeper, personal level, you still fear that he remembers and thinks that you’ve lost yourself over the years.

Authenticity has been a huge issue in your life. Early in your career, everyone wanted to change you. The way you dress, your hair, the style of music you write, nothing was good enough as it was, they wanted you to become someone else, someone who was not you. You fought all attempts until the right person came through and accepted you as yourself, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind kept telling you that they succeeded, that somewhere along the fight you did lose yourself and became what you always feared to be.

Meeting Harry is like meeting a piece of your past and having to face what you’ve become. It’s going to be like a mirror right in front of you and what you’ll see might not be what you expect.

Wearing your bright red dungaree with an oversized vintage shirt and a pair of white sneakers, you definitely don’t look like you’re dressed for a business meeting, but when did you ever? Pushing your hair back with a pair of cat eye shades, you leave a little earlier, knowing well traffic is horrible in these hours. You arrive to the office building just minutes before eleven, Taylor has already texted that she has arrived and which office you should come to. When you finally find the door you’ve been looking for, you take a moment to yourself before knocking.

“Come in!” a male voice calls out and you walk in. Taylor is sitting on the sofa that’s pushed against the wall on the left, a man is sitting behind the enormous desk and then there is Harry, standing by the window, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black slacks, and old Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame as his eyes meet yours upon your arrival.

“Hey, I would say I’m sorry for being late, but I’m actually exactly on time,” you smirk, closing the door behind you. The man stands from the desk and walking around he meets at the front, holding a hand out for you.

“Perfectly on time,” he smiles warmly. “I’m Jeffrey Azoff, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you too.”

“And this here is Harry,” he motions towards the man who has stepped closer and as you look back at him, you’re met with a blank expression for a moment so you can’t figure out if he remembers you or not. But then, a tiny smile tugs on his lips as he holds his hand out for you.

“We’ve met before, right?” he simply questions, and your eyes flicker over to Taylor in a kind of “See? I told you!” manner before you look back at Harry and shake his hand.

“Yeah, we have,” you nod. “A long time ago.”

“Congrats for your nominations,” he smirks, his hand letting go of yours and your let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, thank you. Back at you.”

“Alright, why don’t we start this discussion? We have a lot to go over,” Jeff suggests and you sit beside Taylor while Harry stays near the window, as if he is trying to soak up the sunshine coming through it that’s painting his skin a golden shade.

The concept is simple. The performance would be a mashup from Sleepless and Harry’s song Golden with an exciting and fresh way of mixing the two songs together in the middle, making your song flow into his in a smooth and effortless way. The songs sound compatible and you already have an idea how to mash them together for the transition, but you can’t help but feel doubts over the performance.

“What are your concerns exactly?” Jeff questions.

“Not to come off too harsh, but why is my song the first one?” you ask, earning a few puzzled looks. “If Harry finishes it off, he is going to be the one people will remember more and he’ll get the applause as well. The riffs in the songs allow them to be switched, how come it’s not me who comes second?”

You can see the shock on Jeffrey’s face at how straight-forward you were about your concern and that you even dared to speak up about the issue. He clearly hasn’t had to face anything similar before and when he glances at Harry you follow his gaze as well, but instead of shock, what you see on his face is amusement. He is smirking, tapping his fingers against his chin as he stares back at you.

“She has a point,” he nods and you take a deep breath. For a moment, you really thought this is going to be the part where you are thrown off and Harry makes the performance only his.

“I, uhh—this is what’s been requested,” Jeff answers and you tilt your head.

“Okay, can we make a request to change it?” you simply ask, eyeing Taylor next to you who is typing on her iPad vigorously, taking notes of everything that’s said. She is already used to what you’re like, she is not even surprised you came up with the prompt to change.

“Hold on, so just because you want to be second, you get to be?” Harry questions, but he doesn’t come off as harsh, it seems like he is entertained by the conversation. “Does this mean I don’t deserve to be the second one?”

“That’s-That’s not what I meant,” you answer, taken aback from his accusation and you hate to admit, but he is right. You addressed the issue, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spot either.

“Alright, so then we need to seek a solution that benefits the both of us,” he offers, walking closer from the sunlight and you follow his every movement.

“We could do some kind of medley? Do an ultimate mashup from more songs and have more smaller parts split between us, finishing it together,” you suggest and he nods.

“That could work, but I have something else on my mind.”

“And what would that be?” Jeff asks, a little lost about the situation as he watches the two of you exchange ideas.

“We could write a song together, a duet, and perform that instead of our solo stuff.”

“What?” you snap right away. “You want to write a whole new song just for the Grammy’s?”

“Why not?” he smiles carefreely. “We have almost two entire months to do it, albums have been written in shorter periods, I’m sure we can handle just one song. And I think a collaboration would be a hit for the both of us now.”

You look at Taylor who just stares back at you, ignoring the panic in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me,” she tells you. “I can see the collaboration working, it could be a huge hit.”

“And what, we’re gonna release it as a single after the show? Whose song is it going to be? I don’t have an album coming up until next year, do you get to have it on your third one then?”

“We can put it out as just a single. No one has to have it on any albums,” Harry replies. “If we released it after the show, it would be just the right timing. Neither of us had any new songs out in a while.” Clenching your jaw you’re trying to find a way out of this collaboration, though you’re not even sure yourself why. Taylor sees right through you, knowing well you’re planning your escape, but she has other plans apparently.

“Y/N, let’s have a few words outside,” she pushes herself up and pulls you with her. Once the door is shut behind the two of you she starts right away. “What the fuck is your problem? The song is a huge thing, it would be an instant hit with him on it!”

“Why do I need a song with him to stay relevant?” you question, folding your arms on your chest.

“No one said it’s about that. But we both know it would be a great push to your name that Jordan has stomped over not so long ago, calling you a Feminist Nazi.”

“Don’t even fucking mention him!” you whisper yell, refusing to even think about that trashbag of a man that ruined your life with his fake accusations.

“Look, I know what you are thinking, that you’ll be seen as just an object next to him, a pair of boobs and nice legs, but that’s not his brand. He doesn’t need you to be sexy next to him, he is known for his honest and real works that go farther than just twerking and being a hoe. We both know he produces meaningful music, so why are you so against it?”

“I just… I-I’m scared to work with him,” you finally admit and it’s the first thing today that surprises Taylor.

“Scared? Thought you’re not scared of anything,” she huffs.

“I never said that,” you give her a look. “Harry met me when I was nobody, it was just me and my big mouth, trying to find my breakout. What if we start working together and he sees that I completely lost that version of myself? I would feel like a liar, an impostor.”

“You are overreacting,” Taylor sighs. “You’ve changed on your way here, but I doubt you are that far from the girl he met before. I know we didn’t meet just a few years after, but I can assure you, you’re still that big-mouthed pain in the ass who fights every norm in the industry like no one else.”

You know she is right, she is always right. Taylor knows you too well, that’s why you love working with her, but sometimes, her honesty throws you way off, especially when she is stating the truth.

The two of you rejoin the two men in the office and they both look at you with anticipation as you fold your arms on your chest and move your gaze over to Harry.

“I would… love to work on a song with you.”

When you agreed to work with Harry you didn’t think you’d find yourself heading over to his house a few days later to have a writing session, but he offered right away that day in the office and Taylor accepted it before you could protest. You’ve had a day filled with meetings and fittings and now you’re rolling up his driveway after punching the security code in that he shared with you over text.

You’ve exchanged numbers on the spot and just like that, you’ve become one of the few people on this world that could contact Harry Styles anytime they want to.

You chose to be casual for the occasion, wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white hoodie, you like to be comfortable whenever you’re working on new music and Harry’s presence won’t change your ways about that. You’re not sure what to expect, if you’re being honest you’re still afraid of being alone with Harry and do such an emotional thing together as writing a song.

The front door opens just as you get out of your car, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. Harry walks out wearing a pair of shorts and a green hoodie, looking like he hasn’t left the house all day.

“Hey, you found the address easily?” he asks smiling as you walk up to him.

“Yeah, everything went fine.”

“Do you want something to drink or eat maybe?” he offers as the two of you walk inside. If you’re being honest, you’re starving, the last time you had anything to eat was between two meetings around ten, but nothing since then, just a granola bar. But you’re a first time guest, you can’t just eat up his fridge, like you’re old pals, right?

However, Harry can see right through you.

“You haven’t had anything in a long time, right?” he softly asks and you purse your lips, feeling awkward already and you haven’t been here for more than two minutes. “I can make you a sandwich, if you’d like.” “Harry, no need, I—“ “No need, but I want to. Come on,” he nods at you, making you follow him into the kitchen. “So, who would have thought we would be here now, huh?” he smirks at you as he gathers the ingredients and starts working on your food while you sit on one of the stools at his kitchen island.

“Not me,” you admit chuckling. “I kind of didn’t think I would see you again, I mean, personally. I was seeing you a lot on TV after that.”

“Now might be a good time to confess that, that night wasn’t the last time I saw you.”

“What?”

“I went to one of your gigs a few weeks later. Stayed at the back, I just really wanted to see you play.”

“And what did you think?” you ask tilting your head to the side. Harry smirks, his eyes meeting yours before they return to the food under his hands.

“You absolutely smashed it. And I felt even worse for taking your time away that night. The people were robbed from a mind-blowing performance and had to see five annoying guys clown on the stage,” he laughs making you chuckle too. “I wasn’t surprised when your name surfaced a few years later. Knew you’d make it at one point.” He joins you at the island and slides the plate in front of you with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” you mumble smiling shyly before you start eating and only after the first bite you feel just how hungry you’ve been. “Now that we are at it, I want to apologize for the way I talked to you guys back then. I feel like I was a bigger asshole than I should have been and the whole situation wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“No need to apologize,” he shakes his head. “You were absolutely right. We had no business being on stage that night and what you said actually made us think about where we came from and appreciate our career more. You were right about having it easy at the beginning. We never had the phase where we had to push our way to the top like other artists, our first days were broadcasted on TV, giving us the biggest push ever.”

It’s good to hear he is not holding grudges against you for whatever went down in the past. You eat in silence while Harry types a response to a message on his phone before turning it with the screen down to pay his full attention to you.

“I actually just messaged Niall that we are working together and he is losing his shit over it,” he chuckles softly.

“You guys still talk?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Not all of us thought,” he adds, pressing his lips together.

“You miss being with the band?”

“It’s… good to rely on someone in certain situations. As a solo artist, you only have yourself and that’s about it. But I think you already know that.”

“I never really liked being in a band,” you admit.

“How come? I think you fit in well with The Gambits.”

You shrug, chewing on your bite slowly. It’s probably not the best time to admit that you prefer working on your own, when you’re about to get into a duet with him.

“I uhh… I always imagined myself being a solo artist and I just couldn’t stay with the guys too long, especially when I got my record deal.”

“Why?” Letting out a long breath you lick your lips looking at him.

“I would have never made it in a band with three guys. It would have always been about which one I’m sleeping with, who am I having an affair with or if I’m lesbian because I’m not hooking up with any of them. This is just how it goes for women.”

Harry stays quiet, taking your words in as you finish the sandwich that was literally lifesaving. You wash the plate even when he tells you to just leave it in the sink, and once that’s done, the two of you move over to his little home studio in the basement of his house.

“So, where do we start?” you ask, making yourself comfortable in one of the armchairs while he grabs an acoustic guitar and sits on the one next to you.

“How do you usually start writing?” he asks scratching his chin before he rests his hands on the body of the guitar.

“Well, most of the times I write when I’m pissed about something,” you huff and Harry smirks at you.

“Nothing pissed you off lately?”

“Not enough to make me write a song,” you point out. “See, this is one of the reasons why I was hesitant to write a song with you. It doesn’t come that easily for me.”

“And what were the other reasons?” You shut your mouth at his question, you weren’t expecting him to pick it up, but apparently, he listens more than you thought.

“It’s… a long story.”

“And we have all the time,” he smiles slyly. “But of course, don’t feel pressured to share. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other more so we can work together easier.”

Harry starts strumming his guitar gently, playing random riffs as you watch him, chewing on your bottom lip. Taylor asked you to try and be more open than you usually are and though part of you wants to keep the wall high between you and him, something is telling you to try and reach out to him.

“I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face next to you. In duets between a man and a woman, females are often seen as just an object, a sight for the eyes but not as serious artists. I worked hard to be taken seriously and I was hesitant about collaborating with you even though your music is not necessarily what I should fear.”

Harry looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you feel like he is judging you for standing up for yourself. Your fight for yourself is often mistaken as “being a bitch” or “being too sensitive” and the amount of times you’ve been told to just chill is upsetting.

“Well, good thing then that I won’t write music about twerking,” he then finally speaks up, a smile breaking his blank expression.

“But you do write a lot about sex,” you point out with a smirk.

“That I do, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist at the same time.”

“You’re right,” you nod smiling.

 The writing process turns out to be harder than you thought. You’re not specifically inspired and Harry is the person to just throw things around until he finds something he likes. The two of you put together is kind of chaotic as you try to come up with something useful.

Two hours later you have a raw version of a melody that could serve as a chorus, but nothing else, no full melody, no lyrics. And if you’re being honest, you don’t like that chorus that much either.

“It’ll be fun to just stand on stage for three minutes and do absolutely nothing, because we couldn’t write anything,” you groan, sliding lower in your seat, rubbing your face with your hands.

“It’s literally our first session and we have plenty of time, Y/N. Don’t stress about it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“You don’t know how not to stress?”

“I literally haven’t had a stressfree day since about 2007, so no, I don’t know.”

“You can’t chill even when you smoke?” he asks and you give him a puzzled look. “What, you smoke, don’t you?”

“Cigarettes? I put it down in 2015.”

“No, I’m not talking about cigarettes,” Harry chuckles softly. “You don’t smoke weed?” You shyly shake your head. “Really? I would have sworn you’re the type to relax with a good joint. Want to try it?”

“What? Now?” you ask with wide eyes.

“Why not?” he shrugs and walks over to the little side table in the corner of the room and reaching into it he simply pulls a little plastic bag out with three joints in them.

“Are you just casually keeping joints around your house?”

“I don’t really smoke them, they make me feel sleepy. But some of my friends like it so I keep a few around,” he explains as he takes one out and puts the rest back. “You want to try?”

“I-I’m not sure… I have to drive back home.”

“You can stay for the night, I have three guest bedrooms,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Again, not trying to pressure you, I’m just offering.”

“Are you gonna smoke?”

“We can share one if you want. I would recommend smoking one by yourself for the first time.”

“Okay,” you nod shortly as you watch him tip-tap the joint a little, rolling it between his fingers before he takes it between his lips and reaches for a lighter. “Wait, shouldn’t we do it somewhere outside? The smoke is gonna get stuck in here.”

Harry stops, thinking about what you said and he nods. Grabbing the guitar he asks you to follow him and the two of you move up and out to the terrace, sinking into his lounge chairs. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you watch Harry light the joint and take the first few puffs. As he exhales the smoke he holds the joint out for you and you take it, hesitantly putting it between your lips as you inhale for the first time. You can’t help but scowl at the taste, the whole act of smoking feeling strange after years of smoking your last cigarette. You keep it down a little before puffing the smoke out and passing the joint back to Harry.

You keep switching until you make it past half of it and you finally start to feel the effect of it. You feel light, like you’re floating in the pool that’s in front of you, you can almost feel the water touching your skin yet you’re still dry.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, blinking at you with hooded eyes.

“I’m feeling… fine,” you chuckle softly as you take the joint from him and drag from it again. “Do you do other drugs?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, not often though. I’m not trying to pick up an addiction,” he smiles softly, running a hand through his hair. “Have you done anything?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Didn’t have the money for it before and then didn’t have time later. But I never really felt the need either.”

“And you said you put down the cigarette as well?”

“Yeah. I knew I had to do that sooner or later, it was starting to change my voice and I couldn’t have that.”

“That’s what we always told Louis, that his voice will turn to shit if he keeps smoking,” Harry chuckles softly, dragging from the joint before he passes it over to you, not much left of it.

“Did he ever stop?”

“I think he put it down when his son was born, but I don’t know if he started again.”

You give the joint back for him to finish it and you watch him put it out in the ashtray before he sinks down in the lounge chair, closing his eye for a bit, breathing steadily. You find it amusing how you can still see the guy that handed you a check years ago at that bar, trying to make things right, but he also looks like a completely different person at the same time. He is more mature and open in his mindset and just the way he approaches things in general. The Harry you met seven years ago was still searching his way, but the version lying next to you now is a lot more confident in who he really is.

“Want to take a picture?” he hums keeping his eyes closed.

“What?”

His eyes peel open and turn to face you, a smug smirk on his lips.

“You’ve been staring at me. Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“You are way too full of yourself,” you scoff and pushing yourself up from the lounge chair you walk over to the edge of the pool, mesmerized by the way the light is dancing on the surface.

You never really thought about what weed would feel like in your system, but it feels oddly tranquil and relaxing. In a way your body feels a little strange, like it’s not even yours, but you also sense everything very… loudly.

“You alright?” you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind, the tapping on his feet signaling that he is walking closer to you.

“Yeah,” you nod without taking your eyes off of the water.

“Do you want to go for a swim?”

“What?” you breathe out turning to face him.

“Do you want to go in?” he rephrases his question with a small smile.

“I don’t… have a bathing suit,” you answer and the moment the words leave your mouth they feel so ridiculous even when you were just stating the truth.

“Okay, but you are wearing underwear, aren’t you?” he smirks. “Or I’m completely fine if you want to go in naked,” he adds smugly.

“Shut up,” you chuckle. “Can you… maybe give me a pair of shorts? I’m fine without a bra when I come out but I would rather have my underwear on dry.”

“Sure,” he hums and turning around he jogs back into the house while you stay right there, staring at the water again.

With each passing moment you get calmer, the outside world and everything in life that’s not happening right in this moment eases into nothingness, your mind numbs in the best way possible.

When Harry returns he is wearing a pair of yellow swimming shorts, two towels are thrown over his shoulders and he has a pair of white shorts in his hands.

“This is the smallest thing I have, I think it’ll be fine,” he comments handing you the shorts.

“Thanks,” you nod before he shows you the way to the closest bathroom where you change out of your clothes leaving them in a neatly folded pile on the counter, you put on the shorts that are a little big on you, but once you’ve tied the strings it seems to be staying up steadily. Your simple black bra is not showing more than what a bikini top would, so you feel fine walking out in your attire.

Harry is sitting at the edge of the pool, his legs moving around in the water. His head lifts hearing your steps and he smiles at you, standing up when you arrive.

“Fits fine,” he nods, taking a look at the shorts.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

Walking over to the steps you dip your feet in first, testing the temperature before you start going in further, Harry following you right behind. Just as you expected, the water feels smooth against your skin, warmly caressing and swallowing your body as you get in, the surface reaching your chest. You let your arms move around, feel how the water runs through your fingers, it’s amusing and you enjoy it probably more than you should. It’s just water, but right now it feels like a pile of clouds.

“I know I suggested to smoke and then swim, but please don’t drown into my pool, I won’t be able to talk myself out of that,” he chuckles, easing him into the water until it reaches his neck.

“My life is in your hands, Harry,” you smirk at him before you follow him and let the water swallow your whole body up to your neck.  “This feels so nice.”

“Yeah? You like it?” he smirks.

“Mm, like I’m… floating through space.”

“In a sense, you are floating in the water,” he chuckles. “You don’t feel sick, right?”

“No, I’m fine,” you smile at him shortly.

You move over to the edge of the pool, laying your arms to the side, holding yourself up so your legs could float in the water. You watch Harry dive under and swim across the pool, reaching the far end before he pushes himself over to you.

“When I went to see you perform there was a song I really liked, but I never found it anywhere later.”

“Which one?”

“The chorus went like… Crashing and crumbling, I’m fighting for my breath, Today won’t be the day I’m meeting death…”

You suck on your breath, surprised how well he remembered the lines even after so many years. He recalled them perfectly, even singing the melody a little with them.

“I never recorded it in studio,” you admit quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because it felt too emotional and I didn’t want it to be just out there.”

“What was the name of the song?”

“It’s called Till I Die. I wrote it when…” You take a deep breath, feeling heavy just by talking about it, but something is urging you to share it with him. “I left from home right after I graduated high school, broke contact with my parents completely and I had a few very rough years, trying to just… keep myself alive, I guess.”

“Can I ask why you left your parents?”

“We had very different visions of what I should become. And I didn’t intend to live the life they imagined for me. My parents are very… traditional, my career in their eyes is just some kind of circus when I’m the clown on the stage. They don’t take any of it seriously and they made it very clear at the beginning that they don’t want me to become a musician. I was supposed to become a surgeon, my dad is one and my mom is in criminal law, they both worked very hard to get to where they are, but they don’t think that’s exactly what I’m doing as well.”

The last person you shared it with was Taylor and though it feels odd to open up about these old wounds again, but having Harry as the one listening to you just feels right.

“You haven’t talked to them since you left?”

“No,” you shake your head.

“And they didn’t even try to contact you?”

“Well, I made sure they couldn't. Changed my number first thing I set my feet outside the house and I never left them any of my addresses. I know it sounds cruel, but I didn’t want to do anything with them after the shaming they put me through when I told them I don’t want to become their perfect little daughter. They told me that I could consider myself disowned from the family if I dare to even write a song.”

“Woah, that sounds really tough.”

“It was,” you nod. “I wasn’t asking them to support me in any other way apart from just being there for me. It’s not like I wanted to spend the money the put aside for my tuition to buy guitars and tour the country, I just wanted them to… accept who I am, but apparently, I asked for too much.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes, but you wipe them quickly. It’s been long since the last time you let the thought of your parents, you’ve been good at keeping these feelings bottled up and in the deepest end of your mind. It’s not like you’re going around and just share your trauma with anyone you meet, but it felt comfortable to share it with Harry.

“I’m sorry about that. Everyone should have a support, especially in our job.”

“I had… myself,” you chuckle bitterly. “Became pretty good at relying only on myself.”

“I’m guessing it’s another reason why you prefer working alone, right?” he smiles at you softly.

“You could say that,” you nod into the water.

“I know it’ll sound cheesy, but… if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” he offers.

“Oh, are we becoming friends?” you ask chuckling.

“We’ve known each other for long enough to be friends, am I right?” he smirks, splashing some water in your way.

“We met a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Everything I know about you is from articles and gossip sites and I think you can only say the same thing,” you point out.

“Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”

“What, do you want to play 21 questions now or something?” you huff.

“Damn right,” he smirks.

And that’s exactly what you do. Swimming around in the pool you ask each other questions, some are funny, some are more serious and you slowly start to get to know each other, seven years after meeting for the first time, but in a way it feels like it’s been just last week when you were talking in the alleyway.

The weed soon dies down in your system, leaving you incredibly tired and it’s only then you realize it’s already past one am. Pulling out of the pool, you both grab a towel drying yourselves up before making your way back into the house.

“The guest bedroom next to mine has a bathroom so I think that’s the best one. I can give you something to sleep in if you’d like,” Harry offers as you follow him down the hallway.

“I think I’m fine in my sweats, but thank you.” He shows you the room, tells you how to change the AC if you feel too cold or hot and then bidding goodbye he is about to go to his own room when you stop him.

“Thank you for… today. I know we didn’t get far with the song, but… I liked hanging out with you,” you admit with a shy smile, leaning against the doorframe.

“Don’t worry about the song, it’ll be fine. And I liked it too. We can make it a regular thing, if you want. You can come over, we’d chill and try to cook up something for the song.”

“I, uhh… Yeah, that sounds good,” you nod, he shoots you a smile before turning around and disappearing in his room.

The morning doesn’t turn out at all any awkward, especially because you don’t get to stay around too long. You have a meeting at eleven so you have to leave in time to go home and get changed before that. Harry makes you coffee, which is lifesaving, the two of you sit at the terrace as you drink it and you arrange to meet in two days to try and have another, hopefully more successful session for the song.

You genuinely enjoyed your time with Harry and to think that you didn’t only smoked weed for the first time with him, but also opened up about your parents, you feel a kind of connection forming and you can only hope you’re not gonna regret it later.

You move on with work after leaving from Harry’s that morning, you have some fittings for upcoming photoshoots and an interview scheduled, so there’s not much time for you to sit around. Tonight you’re supposed to meet Harry again at his place for another session and you feel buzzed about it. You meet Taylor for lunch, sitting on the terrace of your usual place she is talking you through everything that’s coming up the next week, just like you always do so then you can put work aside and have a real chat.

“So how did the writing session go?” she asks, digging into her salad that she always asks with extra chicken.

“The writing? Not so well. But we had a good time,” you truthfully admit.

“Good, good! You’re finally making friends!” Taylor grins, satisfied with the news. You just roll your eyes at her, turning back to your food right when you notice that your phone has been blowing up with notifications.

Huffing you grab it from the table with the pure intention of muting it down completely, but then you see that several people have texted you the same link and it bugs your curiosity so you open one of the messages and tap on the link.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan, feeling your rage already pushing up your spine, clouding your vision in red.

“What?” Taylor snaps, reaching for her phone out of reflex.

“That fucking asshole dragged my name again!”

“Who? Jordan? That fucker never learns?” Taylor hisses, her thumbs vigorously typing on the screen immediately.

“Someone asked him about me on Twitter and he dared to call me a lying bitch! I can’t fucking believe this man!”

You and Jordan worked together on a project a while ago. You were supposed to write lyrics to a song he was composing and it was meant for an upcoming popular Netflix show, so the anticipation around the song was huge, especially when word got out that Ariana Grande might end up singing it. During your time working together he very blatantly tried to hit on you, which you politely shut down, because one, you didn’t intend to date someone you were working so close with and two, you just simply weren’t into him. However, he couldn’t take rejection the way a mature, almost thirty years old man should. It started off very subtly, but once you’ve had a chat with him to stop posting obnoxious and suggesting things about you on his social media, because it’s making it hard for you to be taken seriously as an artist and that people will just see you as another celeb which you don’t want to be, he just completely lost his shit. He called you different names on Twitter a few times, the worst were Feminist Nazi and a cock teasing slut, and he just somehow never fails to mention that you lied about your intentions with him, when you were clearer than daylight that you didn’t want a thing from him other than work.

When you realized he isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon, you took him to court, dragged his ass in front of the judge and won the case, which ended with him having to pay you thirty thousand dollars and he was ordered to clear all his platforms from your name for good. You really thought that taught him a lesson, especially because against your will, the case got some publicity and he ended up making headlines about the fault accusations he made about you, but it seems like he didn’t have enough.

You wouldn’t worry that much about his new tweet, knowing that he is the one lying, but the trials took a toll on you. It was at the beginning of the time when you were making yourself a name and even though you won, his accusations stung for some people and some even thought him to be the victim. You fell out of two brand deals and an important interview in the upcoming months which was a major setback and all for what? Because a man couldn’t accept rejection? The sad part is that if it would have happened the other way around, he wouldn’t have had to suffer any effect of it, people don’t tend to question a man’s words when he is showing this charming and nice persona to the public. If you accused him the same way you would have been dragged and titled as a sour crybaby and Jordan’s life would have carried on the same way.

The peaceful lunch soon falls through as Taylor turns on her beast mode to at least get the tweet down as soon as possible, already contacting the legal team you worked with before. It has to be against what you agreed on at the end of the trials, he can’t just go around and drag you again without any consequences.

In just about twenty minutes, the tweets disappear from Jordan’s feed, but you know it was already late the moment he posted it. If something gets out on the internet it never goes away, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of screenshots floating around that will preserve his words forever.

You part ways Taylor as he heads to an immediate meeting with the lawyers you worked together previously, she tells you to try not to worry about it, but you can’t just turn it off in you, that’s not how it works.

Making your way home you keep riling yourself up about it, thinking about what it’s gonna cause you this time, what opportunity is going to be taken because a man has called you a lying bitch, even after winning the previous trial against him that proves how big of an asshole he really is.

Changing into a casual attire you head to Harry’s place a little earlier, hoping it’s not a problem you get there an hour before you were supposed to. Arriving you’re a little taken aback seeing that there is another car parking on the driveway that’s not his and you immediately regret coming here, but before you could leave, the front door opens and Harry walks out. You couldn’t have left without noticing, the security system must have signaled your arrival when you punched the opening code in.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks instead of questioning your early arrival.

“I uhh—I’m sorry for being early, I could go—“

“Don’t be silly, come on in!” he waves at you and you walk up the stairs. “Two friends are here but they were just about to leave soon,” he explains as you walk in.

“Sorry for crashing the party,” you let out a soft chuckle.

“The more the merrier,” he smiles. “You seem a little stressed, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… It’s nothing,” you shake your head.

“Oh my God, is that who I think it is?” you hear a woman’s voice from behind and turning around you see a smiley brunette walking towards you, a shy looking guy following behind her.

“Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah, my drummer, and that wanker over there is Mitch, my guitarist.”

“Nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with both of them you realize they look familiar from pictures you’ve seen from Harry’s tour.

“I saw that ugly tweet today, that guy needs to be kicked in the balls,” Sarah sighs with a sympathetic smile, Harry’s ears perking up.

“What tweet?” he asks, eyes switching between you and Sarah.

“Oh, just… Jordan Wells thinks it’s fine to drag people with absolutely no truth behind his words,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile.

“Jordan Wells? The name rings a bell,” Harry hums.

“He is a music producer,” Mitch chimes in.

“I think he was supposed to write for 1D one time, but the deal fell through. Guess we didn’t miss out on anything,” he jokes and it brings a genuine smile to your face.

“You surely didn’t,” you comment under your breath.

You chat with Sarah and Mitch for a bit before they decide to head out, but Sarah asks you to come around sometime they are hanging out and you gladly say yes, wanting to know her and Mitch better, they seem like great company and even greater musicians, it’s always good to meet people who are like you.

As Harry walks his friends out you make yourself comfortable on the couch, reading Taylor’s texts about the update on the recent actions, she has gotten in contact with Jordan’s team and legal steps will be taken if Jordan doesn’t show any sign of improvement in the very near future.

“Hey, want something to drink? Wine or beer maybe?” Harry walks in as you look up from your phone.

“Wine sounds fucking fantastic,” you breathe out earning a soft chuckle from him. You follow him into the kitchen and watch him get a bottle of white wine with two glasses. “I hope Sarah and Mitch didn’t leave early because of me.”

“Oh, not at all. They knew you’d be coming over and would have left around this time, so don’t worry about it.”

He joins you at the kitchen island with the two glasses handing you one and you take a sip from it with a satisfied hum.

“So, want to talk about this Jordan ordeal?”

“There’s not much to talk, really,” you shrug. “He is a jerk and I just can’t seem to get rid of him and I didn’t even date the guy…”

“What did he do this time?”

“Oh, he just casually called me a lying bitch on Twitter, so that’s fun,” you let out a fake laugh, raising your glass before taking a big swig from it.

“Not that creative, if you’re asking me,” he jokes making you laugh. “It’s a very plain choice of words.”

“Yeah, not as good as his best which was calling me a feminist nazi.”

Harry almost chokes on his wine as you say the words, coughing a little while you watch him with an entertained smirk.

“That’s… an interesting way to express his opinion about you,” he answers diplomatically.

“Right? I was thinking about getting a sign of it, like a Live, Love, Laugh one, in the middle of my living room.”

“Would be a wonderful touch of décor,” he smirks. “Alright, I have a proposal for today’s session.”

“Shoot it.”

“You seemed to enjoy your weed experience the last time, I thought we could give it a try again, but we would try to write this time as well.”

“You want to write while smoking?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him.

“Only if you want to. I just thought it would relax you a bit, might even come up with some interesting ideas for the song.”

“Are you trying to turn me into an addict?” you narrow your eyes at him and he just holds his hands up innocently.

“Told you, no pressure,” he smirks angelically.

“I feel like I’m not even coming here to work but to meet with my new dealer,” you chuckle making him laugh. “Okay, we can… give it a try.”

 An hour and one joint per person later the two of you are lounging in his living room, he is sprawled out on the loveseat with a guitar on his arms while you are curled upon the sectional, fumbling with the strings of your hoodie.

“We should just… fucking steal a song,” you snort, finding your comment hilarious.

“Which one were you thinking about?” Harry smirks your way, his fingers gently strumming some random melody on the instrument.

“I really want to have a Madonna song to be mine,” you sigh dreamily.

“You’re a fan?”

“Oh, I grew up on her. I have an elaborate choreography for Hung Up,” you snort.

“You need to perform it for me.”

“No fucking way,” you laugh shaking your head. “Not even weed can make me dance for you.”

“Come on, I need to see that choreography, you can’t just hint it and then never show it to me!”

“Nah, not happening,” you laugh, sliding lower down in your seat, your head resting against the armrest of the couch.

You listen to him play the same melody over and over again with your eyes closed and though you really like what you are hearing, no words are forming in your mind that could serve as lyrics. Your phone buzzes on the cushion next to you and grabbing it you see a text from Taylor.

Taylor: Lawyers are on the case, we’ll have more tomorrow, don’t stress about it too much. Night! Xx

Sighing you drop the device back next to you, covering your eyes with your arms.

“You alright?” Harry softly asks.

“Nah, I just want to… disappear,” you sigh, tired of this fight you’ve been fighting for way too long.

“Is this about Jordan? He is a fucking ass, most people know it.”

“But not everyone!” you snap throwing your hands up. “And that fraction that still believes that he is saying the truth is enough to ruin my life. I’m fucking fed up with the injustice women have to face because of the patriarchy we are forced to live in!” Pushing yourself up you run a hand through your hair, hugging your knees to your chest. “It’s so fucking upsetting, like everything I do goes straight down the drain because of one little thing and I’m stuck with trying to rebuild my whole future plan.”

From a sudden urge, you move down to the floor, lying down on the fluffy rug that runs under the couches and the glass coffee table. It feels nice, kind of grounding to lie flat on the floor, especially because your senses are all messed up again because of the weed, but in a good kind of way.

“You worry way too much on longterm things. Try to stay in the moment a little more,” Harry tells you, putting the guitar to the side so he can move his feet to the floor, leaning onto his knees. “You can’t control this much what happens in the future, you should only care about today. And today, you’ve done good, you made it through another day, you did what you had to do and that’s it. Stressing about tomorrow or the next week or next year is just way too much to deal with all the time, twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, that’s just no way to live.”

Lying on the floor you stare up at the ceiling seemingly blankly, but your mind starts to swirl over what he just told you. The worlds are running around, mixing and mingling until something starts to form, making you gasp.

“Grab the guitar,” you tell him, sitting up abruptly. He pulls his eyebrows together, but does as you told him to, holding the instrument on his lap as he waits for you to instruct him more. “Play that… that melody you’ve been playing, but a little faster.”

He turns his attention at the guitar, trying the strings out a few times, feeling the melody under his fingers before he starts playing it just how you asked as you slowly start to sing the lines you have just thought about.

“You made it through… another day, you made it through another day… You did it, let’s celebrate…”

The lines fit perfectly with the melody he has come up with and the more you sing, the wider his smile grows as you move along in the forming song.

“Some days you feel you’ll break, but you made it through another day, yeah, you did it, let’s celebrate…”

“Don’t fucking stop!” he chimes in, never stopping the riffs, trying out new things as you go, slowly perfecting it together with the lyrics.

“Twenty-four-seven and three-six-five, you made another day, you made it alive! Made another day made it alive!” You sing loud and clear, completely lost in the melody Harry is playing, the lines just flowing out of you, like a dam has been taken down and now everything washes over you at once.

When the chorus is about to come up however you run out of ideas, your eyes meet Harry’s and he sees that you’re stuck. His eyebrows knit together, tongue runs along his lips before he starts playing the melody of the chorus and takes over the singing as well.

“So today, baby, remember it’s okay! We’re all floating through space, today, baby, remember you’re okay! We’re all floating through space…”

He plays a little with the lines, repeats them, tries a few times before he stops singing, you are now standing up, watching him end the melody, neither of you saying a word as he room grows silent. A sudden urge drives you to go closer and you sit back down to the floor in front of him, your eyes casting over the now silent instrument on his lap. Looking up your eyes meet his and you feel like the air is kicked out of your lungs.

You’ve heard so much about moments when you feel yourself pulling towards someone, when it’s like a magnetic field but you never actually experienced it until now. Staring back at Harry you feel that pull everyone has talked about and you finally understand what they were trying to say. It’s like there’s a string coming from your chest that’s connected to him and he is tugging it without even doing anything.

Reaching forward he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing down the side of your face as you catch his eyes wander down to your lips. Sucking on your breath you feel the moment, you know what he is thinking about because you think about the exact same thing. Kissing him. You are desperate to find out what his lips feel against yours, what he tastes like, what it’s like to have him so close to you.

“You want to kiss me,” you whisper and it’s not a question, more like an observation.

“I do,” he admits with a soft smile, but doesn’t move closer. “Can I?”

“I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to do in our situation,” you breathe out, though you don’t agree with the statement fully.

“You think too much,” he chuckles softly, leaning closer just a tad bit, but there are still a few inches between the two of you. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes,” you admit.

“Then we should just do what we want to,” he suggests with a small smirk and he looks ridiculously handsome with his dimples and shining green eyes that are glued to you.

“And then what? We’ll just go on like it never happened or there’s going to be more happening? How are we supposed to—“

You don’t get to finish, because Harry closes the distance between you and him and presses his lips against yours, swallowing the rest of your stammering speech. Whatever doubts and hesitation you felt just a moment ago, it all vanishes into nothing as you melt into his kiss, his lips caressing yours gently, softly capturing them, savoring and tasting you with caution, giving you the chance to pull back anytime, but nothing in your body can make you stop kissing him in this moment.

His palms cup your jaw as you push yourself up, slowly making your way to straddle his lap after he has blindly put the guitar to the side, hands coming to rest on his shoulder for leverage. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you close until your chest is pressed up against his, lips never disconnecting in the kiss.

Kissing him feels like second nature, like it’s not even the first but the hundredth time, but on the other hand, every touch and tiny sparkle is so new and unusual, you’ve never felt like this before.

Harry slowly pulls back, pecking your lips a few more times before he stops, nuzzling his nose against you in an adorable and innocent way that brings a smile to your lips.

“Doesn’t it feel good to just do whatever you feel like doing?” he asks with a soft smile, making you laugh.

“Kind of.”

“Nothing has to change. Or something can, it’s up to you.”

“You are so upsettingly cool and respectful,” you blurt out chuckling and it makes him laugh, his head falling back against the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I guess?” he smirks with a shrug.

“See? Respectful!” you grin, your hands moving up to cup his face. The pad of your thumbs gently tap against his dimples that are showing thanks to the wide smile on his lips right now. You can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him again, even though your rational side is trying to make you stop. You just can’t, his lips are screaming to be kissed and who are you to deny that?

You’ve been running errands all day. Following an early meeting you ran to your favorite vintage store to get another armchair for your living room. Then you went grocery shopping because your fridge has been ridiculously empty the past two days and later you had a quick fitting for a few outfits you are supposed to wear in the near future. You’ve ran into a few fans too, having small chit-chats with them, taking photos, so it’s been a busy day.

It’s been a week since you and Harry have kissed and despite your fears, it hasn’t been awkward at all. He didn’t bring it up, but you don’t feel like he is pretending it never happened, which is kind of a great balance. He is giving you just enough time and space to figure out what it really meant to you, because quite frankly, you have no idea.

Obviously, you find him attractive. You’d have to be completely blind to say that he is not handsome and just simply good to look at. You’re attracted to him and not just to his looks, but to his whole persona.

It’s just you’re not sure it’s a smart idea to start anything with the man you’re working with and though you know Harry is nothing like Jordan, part of you is still scared the whole thing will happen all over again if you get involved with another man from the industry.

Workwise, everything is going well. You’ve successfully finished the song you started that ominous evening and have started recording it in Harry’s home studio, working some more on the melody, bringing a lot more into it than just a single guitar. What more, you’ve been coming up with new ideas for other songs, lyrics popping up in either your or Harry’s head and you just keep sharing them with each other, saving them for later once the song for the Grammy’s is done.

Heading back to your place you get a call from Harry, his smiley face appearing on the screen of your face as you accept the call and his accent fills the car through the speakers that are connected to your phone through Bluetooth.

“Hey, hope I’m not calling in the middle of a meeting,” he greets you and you can tell he is smiling.

“No, I’m just on my way home. What’s up?”

“I’m meeting with Sarah and Mitch for dinner tonight, thought you’d like to join us.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends, I feel like you’ve been spending all your time with me.”

“But I like spending time with you,” he chuckles softly, a blush making its way to your cheeks at his words.

“Are you sure you want me there? What about Sarah and Mitch? I crashed your last meeting with them as well.”

“You didn’t crash anything, Y/N. And I’m positive I want you there, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. And just so you know, Sarah asked if you’d be joining us, so I assume they wouldn’t mind it either.”

“Oh, well, okay then. Send me the time and place.”

“Wonderful!” he beams, his enthusiasm making your chest warm.

By the time you arrive home he has already texted you the details and you have just one hour to spare before you have to head out. You opt for a quick shower and an outfit change, switching up your ripped mom jeans and simple t-shirt to one of your favorite jumpsuits. It’s a little baggy, but the waist is cinched in with an inbuilt corset, giving the whole fit a very interesting twist.

Arriving at the restaurant Harry has texted you the address of, the waiter escorts you to the terrace at the back that’s a lot more secluded and you feel yourself relaxing that you probably won’t get photographed. Harry is the only one who is already at the table, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone, but he immediately puts it aside when he sees you approaching, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“Hey! You look amazing!” he greets you pulling you into a quick hug.

“Thank you,” you smile shyly. He is wearing a pair of brown slacks, a simple white shirt tucked into it, a knitted cardigan thrown on, a typical Harry outfit. “And thanks for the invite,” you add as you take the seat next to him, assuming Sarah and Mitch would like to sit next to each other.

“Don’t even mention it. We’re friends, it’s really nothing. I’m glad you could make it.”

The way he called you friends is giving you mixed feelings. Part of you is happily jumping up and down at the fact that he considers you as a friend, given how you don’t have many of those. It’s been hard opening up to anyone since you’ve made a name for yourself, you’ve ran into occasions a lot when people wanted more than just your friendship from you and it made you rather closed off when it comes to making friends.

On the other hand, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Is that all you are? Just friends? More importantly, is that all you want to be, or more?

Sarah and Mitch arrive soon after, joining you at the table and the waiter takes the orders before leaving the four of you alone. It seems like they genuinely like it that you’ve joined, so you can enjoy the evening a little more relieved.

Sipping on some amazing wine, you eat and talk and you feel like you’ve known these people your whole life. You especially like Sarah, she is so open-minded and funny and you think they make a great couple with Mitch who is obviously more closed off, but it’s obvious how much he worships his girlfriend.

Sometime in the evening, when you’ve already had two glasses of Chardonnay and you’re feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable, you move closer to Harry without even noticing, leaning against him gently and his hand rests on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze under the table, making you want to move even closer to him to feel more of his touch, to get more of him.

Neither Sarah, nor Mitch questions the two of you being a little cozier and you’re thankful for the safe and stressfree environment they are providing, not making you overthink what you do, just letting you enjoy the moment.

At the end of the evening, you can’t shake the thought that you don’t want to say goodbye to Harry just yet. He pays for everyone’s dinner, leaving a generous tip for the waiter and you stay back at the table while Sarah runs out to the restroom and Mitch takes a quick call from his father, leaving you alone with Harry. His hand is still resting on your leg, a little farther up, but still in a very safe zone in the middle of your thigh.

Turning to face him your eyes meet his, his green irises glistening in the soft lighting and he looks so beautiful, you just want to kiss him again.

“Do you have plans after this?” you find yourself asking.

“Not that I know of.”

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

“That sounds like a nice plan,” he smiles at you warmly and you just know that if you weren’t out in the public, he would have leant in for a kiss and you wouldn’t have stopped him.

When Sarah and Mitch return all four of you head out and they don’t question when you follow Harry to his car. They say goodbye and Sarah makes you promise to join them some other time too and you happily say yes to the invitation.

Not much is being said on the way back to your place, he plays some music quietly as you navigate him through the streets.  

“Welcome to mi casa,” you smile as you key the two of you into your apartment you’ve been living in for the past few years.

It’s nothing luxurious, just a tad bit bigger than what one person would need as a home. You would have been fine living in your previous home you lived in before you’ve gained fame, but you needed a much bigger closet so you were forced to move. It’s a two bedroom apartment with one big bathroom, an open concept kitchen and a spacious living room. And of course, a closet as big as your bedroom. It’s the perfect size and you haven’t even thought about buying a bigger place just because you can, it would be a waste of money and space. The interior is very much vintage with all your mismatched furniture and colorful walls, but you think it’s quite cozy and just the ideal space for you.

“Would you like something to drink?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Some water would be great, thank you.”

Filling up two glasses you hand him one as you lean against the counter, silently eyeing each other. It should be clear to him that you had intentions with asking him to come over, especially after being your cozy with each other during dinner, but you’re a little lost in what you should or even want to do. You just know you want him close.

He drinks up his water, his eyes meeting your gaze as a small smirk tugs on his cherry lips.

“You want to kiss me,” he states, using the exact same words you used the night when you kissed for the first time.

“I do,” you nod, feeling a little breathless.

“Then do it,” he simply answers, making you smile.

“Cool and respectful, as always,” you grin at him as he moves closer, stopping just a few inches away from you, your feet almost touching. Reaching up his fingers gently caress the side of your face and you feel yourself already melting under his touch.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, a shiver running down your spine at his words. You close your eyes for a moment, giving yourself the chance to pull out of it, but you realize you don’t want that, not even the tiniest bit. Opening your eyes they meet with his gaze before you move closer, closing the distance between you and him, lips meeting in a warm and chaste kiss.

Though it grows a little hungrier, you can tell he is still holding back a little, giving you the chance to stop whenever you want to, but you don’t intend to. Pushing yourself closer to him, your arms curl around his neck as his hands grip your waist, your tongue meeting his as you deepen the kiss and melt into his embrace.

Pulling back you grab his hand and head to the bedroom, going back to kissing him the moment you reach it. You easily slide his cardigan off his broad shoulders, pulling his t-shirt out of his pants before taking it completely off, throwing it somewhere to the side. You smirk against his lips, hands wandering down his naked chest and you can’t push down a moan as you feel the warmth of his chest muscles under your touch.

When you feel him try to blindly figure out how to get you out of your jumpsuit with not much luck and this clears your head for a moment to realize what is about to happen. Pulling back your gaze meets his and he stares back at you with caution, ready to stop whenever you tell him to, but that’s not what made you pull back.

“Harry, I…” “We don’t have to do anything,” he softly tells you, his fingers dancing down the side of your face until they reach your chin and he pulls you in for a delicate and slow kiss.

“I want to,” you whisper. “It’s just that… I want you to know that I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before.”

Searching in his eyes you look for any sign of what’s going on in his head wishing you could just simply read his thoughts.

“You’ve never been with a man?” he asks, seemingly not as surprised as you expected him to be. You nod, licking your lips, waiting for any kind of reaction, a part of you expecting to be upset, though you know he has no right to be mad at you for any of it. “Do you want me to be the first man?” he then asks, with a loving and warm smile as his hand on your hip pulls you against him playfully.

“Yes.”

“Then help me get you out of this jumpsuit, because I can’t figure it out for my life,” he chuckles making you laugh too.

You show him where the corset opens and then get you out of it with joined forces, finally leaving you standing in just your underwear. Harry’s gaze runs down your body, a look of hunger and passion shining through his green irises as he pulls you close again, kissing you with a lot more vigor this time.

Soon enough, his slacks slip to the floor and you climb to your bed, Harry following closely, climbing on top of you before rejoining your lips. Your knees open up wide for him, allowing him to sink his hips between your thighs, his crotch meeting your heated center, a moan slipping out your lips when you feel his erection rubbing against you through the material of your underwear. He kisses his way down your jawline and neck, gently sucking on the soft skin, peppering kisses along your collarbones before he reaches your chest. He easily unclasps your bra and slips the straps down your arms before getting rid of the barrier that’s been keeping him away from your naked chest.

“Fuck, Y/N, you are so damn beautiful,” he breathes out shakily, before his lips wrap around your right nipple, his hand cupping your other breast. You keep whining and whimpering as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple before his mouth moves over to the other breast, giving it just the same amount of attention.

He kisses down your stomach, glancing up at you as he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties silently asking for your permission to go further, still so respectfully looking out for you. As an answer, you lift your hips up so he can easily slide the material down your legs and throw it to the side.

“Oh fuck!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your bud, playing with it oh so perfectly, making you shudder. If you didn’t think Harry was perfect, his tongue work is now surely making a statement on that.

With every lick, kiss and suck he pushes you closer to your release that’s nearing in a fast pace like never before. Reaching down you lace your fingers through his chocolate curls, tugging on the lightly, making him moan against your core. You’re not sure how long you’ll last, but you want to cum with him inside you, so you pull him up, lips meeting again as you still taste your own juice on him. It’s heavenly.

Without breaking the kiss you reach down and into his underwear, palming his fully hard cock, earning a satisfied growl when you wrap your hand around him. The feeling is quite unknown, you’ve only once had to face a penis before, it happened back in high school when you were still figuring out what sexuality meant to you. Gave a wobbly and quite short handjob to a guy from the grade above you, never even talked to him again. The experience left a major effect on you, never even got close to being intimate with a man, but being with Harry now is putting everything into a whole new light.

“Do you have a condom?” he mumbles against your lips, clearly just as excited to carry on as you are.

“Yeah,” you nod and let go of him, rolling to the edge of the bed so you can dig into the drawer of your nightstand, successfully finding the little silver packet. Tearing it open you hand it over to Harry and get back to your previous position as you watch him kneeling up, rolling the condom on carefully. Your lips part when your eyes fall on his cock, seeing now how big he really is. Harry catches your eyes and leaning down he kisses you softly.

“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay?” he kindly tells you, but you smile at him coyly.

“You might be the first man I’m with, but your dick won’t be the first thing to be inside me,” you answer with a smug smirk and it brings an amused look to his face.

“You are so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss as he settles himself back between your legs.

Though you really tried to sound confident the other moment, you still feel a little nervous about it and Harry senses it right away. Holding himself up on one arm he cups your face in his other, kissing you slowly, taking his time with his lips, as if he is trying to make you forget about everything else but his lips.

“Are you still sure about this?” he softly asks, looking for any sign of hesitation in your eyes, but there’s none.

“Yeah, I want this. I want you,” you nod and reaching down between your bodies, you take him in your hands again, positioning him to your center.

Harry captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he pushes into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, feeling a little tight around him, but not in an uncomfortable way.

“You alright?” he asks once he is almost fully in.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you breathe out with a small nod. He pecks your lips and slowly pushes all the way in before he starts to move out and then slide in again, picking up a not too fast but still firm pace with his movements.

You gradually get used to the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, it’s surely a whole different experience than using a dildo or any kind of toy you are used to. The thought that it belongs to him is bringing you a sense of intimacy you haven’t felt in a long time.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you dig your fingers into his hot skin that’s coated with a thin layer of sweat as he keeps moving, slowly picking up his pace as you both get closer to the endgame.

“Harry, faster, please!” you plead, legs coming to wrap around his waist so he can thrust in deeper, making you go completely nuts from the way your orgasm is already forming in the pit of your tummy.

He obeys without a second thought, slamming into you faster and harder, making you continuously moan his name, the room is filled with moans and panting, the slapping noise of his hips meeting yours.

Harry buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin, definitely leaving a mark, but you couldn’t care less. You just grab a handful of his hair, shutting your eyes closed as you feel yourself nearing the end.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, barely hanging on.

Instead of stretching it out and trying to play with you, Harry clearly wants you to combust. Reaching down between your bodies his index and middle fingers find your clit and he starts circling on it, adding that little extra you needed to fall over the edge.

Moaning and whimpering under his massive body, your orgasm washes over you in waves, bringing you such an intense satisfaction you’ve never felt before. He keeps up his thrusting and just a few moments later his movements fall out of his rhythm and mumbling your name over and over again, he gasps as he rides his high while you’re still trying to catch your breath following your own.

With a heaving chest Harry rolls off of you, gets rid of the condom and throws it to the small bin you keep next to your night stand and then lies flat beside you as you both just silently stare up at the ceiling, very much in the best kind of after sex haze.

“How are you feeling?” he then asks, rolling to his side, his hand coming to rest on your bare stomach. Turning your head to the side you crack a smile at him.

“I feel like I’ve just been properly fucked,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh wholeheartedly. Rolling to your side his arm falls to your waist as you scoot closer, your face only a few inches from his. He is so pretty up close, his features never fail to amuse you, hard to believe he is a real human, lying right next to you.

He closes his eyes a little, letting his head sink into the pillow as his fingers delicately dance up and down your side and back. You feel like you owe him to say something, dropping a major detail about yourself in a heated moment.

“I had two girlfriends,” you speak up, his eyes fluttering open to your words. “The first one was when I was eighteen, we dated for almost a year, then I briefly dated a guy, but it was barely just a month. And I had my second girlfriend when I was twenty. We were together for two years.”

“Are you still friends with them?”

“I still talk to the second one. Her name is Mila. We broke up because she moved to Spain for a job for a year and we didn’t want to do long-distance. Then we just… grew apart, but we still talk sometimes. She lives in Atlanta now, she has a girlfriend and she told me that she is planning to propose soon.”

A soft smile tugs on your lips as you talk about her. She was an important person in your life in a time that was truly challenging. Mila supported your dreams, she went to a lot of your concerts and she was the first one you called when you got your record deal even though you weren’t together anymore. She has seen you go from performing in dodgy bars to rocking the stage of arenas.

“Congrats to her,” Harry smiles through tired eyes. Reaching up he tucks your hair behind your ear before leaning closer he envelopes your lips in a soft kiss.

“We really shouldn’t have done this,” you hum, though you can’t wipe the satisfied smile off your lips.

“Why not?”

“Because we work together.”

“So what? We aren’t allowed to like each other?” he smirks cockily.

“You like me?”

“Thought I made that pretty clear,” he chuckles rubbing his eyes. “But yeah, I do like you, Y/N. A lot.”

“I… like you too,” you admit shyly. Leaning in he kisses you again before pulling you to his chest as he lies on his back.

“Can I stay the night or you want to throw me out?” he hums closing his eyes. Chuckling your snuggle to him, making yourself comfortable, enjoying the warmth of his body after so spending so many nights alone in this bed.

“You can stay, but you have to behave.”

“Oh I will behave my best, don’t worry.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest as you both fall silent and soon enough, drift off to sleep.

You wake up tangled in the sheets, but no one else is lying in bed with you. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes you look around and though there’s no sign of Harry in the room you spot his clothes on the floor. That’s when you hear the pots and pans clinking somewhere outside and you smile to yourself. You pull a t-shirt on with a pair of clean panties before heading out, finding Harry in your kitchen, wearing your pink fluffy robe and nothing else as he is making what seems to be pancakes.

“I don’t remember hiring a chef,” you joke walking closer, sliding a hand down his back as you lean against the counter next to the stove.

“Good morning,” he smiles. “I really wanted for you to wake up but I was afraid my growling stomach might wake you up,” he chuckles as he flips the pancakes in the pan with the spatula.

“Found everything you needed?” you ask, walking over the fridge to grab the orange juice.

“Yeah, you have a neatly organized kitchen,” he hums. “Sorry for snooping around though.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pouring the juice to two glasses you hand one to him which he thanks softly before placing the golden pancakes to the plate on the counter and pours another bunch into the pan.

Sipping on your juice you watch him move around, making breakfast in your robe and you can’t help but smile at the sight of this fine man in your kitchen. Harry catches you eyeing him and he cocks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks, his voice still a little groggy and husky.

“I just… really want to kiss you,” you shrug placing the glass to the counter.

“I think we are over this whole asking for permission thing,” he smirks, stepping closer he leans down and kisses you gently, tasting like orange juice and something sweet, he has probably ate one of the pancakes. His hand that’s not holding the spatula finds your waist, the t-shirt bunches up on your side as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss before you hear sizzling coming from the stove.

“Whoops, not trying to burn the place down,” he chuckles as he turns to the pan and flips the pancakes. You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his jawline before stepping away from him to set the table for breakfast.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asks over breakfast.

“I have a meeting with my label on Saturday, but nothing else.”

“I’m having a few friends over Saturday evening, kind of a late Grammy nomination celebration. Want to come over?”

“Yeah, that… sounds good,” you nod smiling.

“I was thinking that maybe you could spend the night and then we can finish recording on Sunday.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

Harry takes a quick shower after breakfast before heading out, promising to call you later and though it still feels a little odd that he says goodbye with a kiss, you very much like this new setup between the two of you.

Friday evening Taylor is over at your place, she loves helping you sort out promo stuff you get sent all the time, especially because you let her take whatever you don’t want, half her closet was meant to be worn by you.

Sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding the both of you, you’re digging through them with a bottle of wine, some 90’s music playing in the background, it’s a nice and relaxing evening.

Your phone lights up with a text on the coffee table and you already know it’s from Harry. You haven’t stopped texting since he left from your place just a few days ago.

Harry: Do you think it’s a look for the Grammy’s?

He attached a photo of himself in all denim, looking very much like 2001 Justin Timberlake at the AMA.

Y/N: Should I match and pull a Britney?

Harry: Is that even a question?!

“Okay, who’s the girl?” Taylor asks, making you tear your eyes away from the phone’s screen.

“Huh?”

“Last time I saw you smiling like this at your phone you were talking to that girl you met at that award show. So who is it this time?”

“It’s… not a girl,” you admit, placing your phone back to the coffee table.

“Oh, did a guy finally manage to sweep you off your feet?” Taylor gives you an amused look, genuinely surprised to hear that this time it’s a guy that has you wrapped around his finger. “What is his name?”

“Harry,” you shortly answer and see her eyes widen.

“Wait, is it… Harry as in Harry Styles?”

“Yeah,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Oh my God, I knew I could feel some sexual tension between you two at Jeff’s office!”

“There wasn’t any, what are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it because you were too busy trying to blow off the duet, but it was radiating from him.” She gives you a look, putting the sweater she’s been examining to the side. “So, how are things? Are you guys an item, or…?”

“We didn’t label anything, he just said he likes me and I like him too. And he… spent the night the other day.”

“Wait, what? Spent the night as in—“

“Yes, we had sex,” you confirm blushing.

“That’s like huge! The first man you’ve been with!”

“I know,” you chuckle.

“How was it?”

“Fucking amazing,” you truthfully admit with a sigh. “I didn’t think it could be this good with a guy. Maybe it’s just because it was with him.”

“He surely looks like a guy that takes good care of his girl. So what’s gonna happen? Are you guys together?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to care about names and labels, he just likes to do whatever he wants and if I’m being honest it’s kind of refreshing. We are just… enjoying whatever we have.”

“That sounds very liberal,” Taylor chuckles. “But I’m happy for you. You’ve been alone for way too long, I think he might do good to you.”

“I really hope,” you nod with a sigh.

“How is the song writing going?”

“We’re finishing up recording on Sunday. I’ll send it to you when it’s done and we can start all the paperwork and everything.”

“Amazing, you are doing great, Y/N, I’m proud of you,” she smiles and climbing over she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Tay,” you smile at her. “Alright, now do you want these lace socks or should I burn them?” you ask holding up a whole pack of them, making her laugh.

Harry said it’s just a chill get together, nothing fancy so you decide to wear a khaki maxi skirt with a shirt tucked into it that was a gift from a fan, your first album’s name embroidered to the front. It’s one of your favorite pieces and you like wearing things your fans make you, gives the whole fit a plus.

Arriving to Harry’s place you spot that there are a few cars already parking on the driveway. You leave your overnight bag in the trunk, grab the bottle of wine you’ve brought and head inside. Unlike every time you’ve been here, the silence is now switched up with soft music and chatters, quite a few people lingering around the house already.

Just as you walk farther inside, Harry appears on the stairs and his face lights up at the sight of you.

“Hey! Did you just arrive?” He jogs down the rest of the stairs and walking up to you he pulls you close for a quick kiss without hesitation.

“Yeah. I know you said not to bring anything, but I hate coming to parties empty handed,” you chuckle softly, holding the wine bottle up.

“Thanks. Have you eaten? Jeff is grilling outside, but help yourself with anything.”

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Sarah and Mitch are already here, but come on, let me introduce you to a few people.”

Harry takes your hand, lacing your fingers together with his. He drops the wine off in the kitchen before joining all the other guests. It’s really not that many people, just about thirty of his close circle. Musicians, people he has worked with and stayed close with, people he has known for long. Everyone seems welcoming and open, many already know who you are and it’s always a good conversation start, so there are not many awkward silences, especially because Harry is always near you, making sure you feel comfortable around his friends and it means a lot to you.

“Hey, everything alright?” Harry asks, when he finds you in the kitchen, refilling your glass. He walks up to you, placing a hand to your waist as he kisses into your hair.

“Yeah, your friends are nice,” you smile at him.

“I know, that’s why they are my friends,” he smirks, so full of himself. “Want to hear something interesting?”

“Always.”

“I was talking to Adam and our song came up and then out of nowhere I referred to you as my girlfriend.”

Seemingly he is testing the waters, trying to see how you react to the title, even a little afraid of what you might say, but it doesn’t scare you.

“Yeah? That’s interesting indeed.”

“Are you okay with it? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just slipped out.”

“It’s fine,” you smile at him softly.

“You don’t have to call me your boyfriend, call me whatever you want. It’s just a habit of mine, I guess,” he explains, popping some nuts into his mouth from the little jar on the counter.

“Alright,” you nod. Harry stares back at you for a moment before a smile stretches across his face and leaning down he kisses you shortly before taking your hand and walking back to the living room with you.

The last guests leave around midnight. After bringing your bag up to his bedroom you start cleaning up while Harry walks out the last couple leaving. You start loading the washer and put away things you’ve cleaned before.

“Oh, thank you for cleaning, but you don’t have to. I can take care of it later.”

“It’s nothing, I want to make myself useful,” you chuckle softly as you start the washer. Harry comes up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses into your neck.

“I have other ideas for that,” he murmurs, his nose nudging the side of your face.

“Yeah? What kind of ideas?” you teasingly ask, closing your eyes when you feel his hand slide under the waist of your skirt, moving down your abdomen until it reaches your core.

“Fun kinds,” he chuckles lowly. His other hand turns your head so his lips could meet yours, you’re still pressed up against him, melting against his chest with your back just right, like you’re two puzzle pieces.

“Fuck,” you breathe out when his fingers wander into your underwear and they start doing their magic. “Harry!” you whine, reacting intensely to his actions.

“I fucking love hearing my name from your pretty mouth,” he growls, kissing you hard before his lips part from yours and he starts bunching up your skirt.

You don’t protest, in fact, you lean forward, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as he pulls down your panties and you hear the zipper of his pants. Glancing over your shoulders you see him pull out a condom from his pocket and you can’t push down a laughter.

“Did you keep that in your pocket all evening?”

“Wanted to be ready when I finally got you all for myself,” he smirks, pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, rolling on the condom.

His hands come in contact with your hips and ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before you feel him lining himself up with you. His palm slides up your back as he pushes into you, both of you moaning at the fulfilling sensation.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he breathes out as he pushes all the way inside before starting to pull out.

“Go hard, Harry. Please!” you whimper as he starts thrusting into you. Harry lets out a growl and slams into you, making you gasp at the harshness of the movement, but that’s exactly what you wanted.

The kitchen is filled with the noises coming from the washer next to you and the slapping noise of Harry’s hips meeting your ass with every forceful thrust he makes. His ring clad fingers dig into your hips, probably already making them red, but you couldn’t care less. You hold onto the edge of the counter, but then you move one hand to cover his on you, needing to touch him in some kind of way.

Leaning forward Harry kisses your back between your shoulder blades through the thin material of your shirt and you moan his name when he hits the perfect spot inside you.

“Shit, Harry! I’m g-gonna cum!” you gasp, perking your ass up more so he can go as deep as possible.

“Let go for me, baby. Come on!”

“I want to cum with you.”

“Yeah? Then hold on for a little longer, I’m almost there.”

You try your best to keep everything inside you under control, your orgasm is really on the edge and you can only hope he is nearing his end too.

“Harry! Please!”

“Fuck, okay, okay, cum for me! Let me feel you!” he moans and his words bring you the release.

You clench around him, moaning and whimpering and it finally pushes you into his bliss too. His thrusts slow down but they are hard and go deep, helping you ride the last bits of your high.

He pulls out and gets rid of the condom before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you up from your position so he can kiss your lips.

“How about we take a shower while the washer finishes?” he suggests, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Mm, good idea.”

Once the song is fully finished you submit it to your label after an agreement that it should come out through yours, but it wouldn’t be tied to your or Harry’s upcoming album. Everyone seems to love it, Taylor is over the moon when you show her the final version and Jeff is just as happy about it. Having only three more weeks left until the Grammy’s, you send them your request to perform the duet instead of the medley they asked. Their answer comes the next day and they are more than happy to have you premiere your new duet at the show. Everything seems to be on track.

Following a rehearsal for the Grammy performance, you’re staying over at Harry’s, just eating takeout and having a lazy evening after a whole day of working. You’ve put on a new Netflix movie, but every time you look at Harry you feel like his mind is somewhere far away.

“Want to share what’s on your mind?” you ask softly, not wanting to be pushy, you’re just trying to be there for him.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“About what?” He looks up at you, clearly hesitant whether he should share it with you or not.

“About what you said about your parents.”

“Oh,” is all you can say. Pausing the movie you turn all your attention to him. “What about it?”

“I was just talking to my mom the other day, she is coming here for the Grammy’s and I thought about how you… won’t have your parents there with you.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah, but then I thought about how you said you haven’t even let them contact you since then and that maybe they’ve changed their mind about the whole situation. You’ve clearly proved them wrong with building yourself a career, maybe they can now see that what they did was wrong.”

You remain silent, chewing on his words. You’ve been great at not thinking about your parents these past years, it feels weird to have a conversation about them out of nowhere. Harry takes your silence as a warning sign, though that’s not the case.

“You know what? I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s not really my business, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry,” he shakes his head.

“What… would you do if you were in my place?”

Harry looks at you, surprised you are willing to continue the conversation. His hand finds your thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I think it might worth a shot to just… contact them. See if they want to maybe get in touch again.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Then… you know you made the right decision leaving. I know it’s scary, but I think you should take a chance.”

“I’ll… think about it,” you nod shortly.

“Take your time, do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you get comfortable in his embrace before starting the movie again.

Two weeks before the show you are headed to a fitting with Harry, your matching sets are nearly done, but they needed you to try them on and make sure they fit just perfectly. True to your and Harry’s extravagant fashion, this performance won’t lack any over the top fits either. It was clear from the beginning that you would be matching, but you made it clear that you want to bring it to the level where you’d be wearing the exact same outfit, so now there are two sets of suits in the making, the pattern of the whole two piece is recalling a kind of space vibe, blues, purples and black meeting in the colors with hundreds of embroidered stars and planets littering the fabric with additional crystal stars to make it even more extra. It’s truly one of a kind, especially paired with the sheer, tulle shirt you both will be wearing underneath.

“We look fucking great, babe,” Harry smirks as the two of you stand next to each other, examining yourself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the small podium.

“We really do,” you smirk, satisfied with how the performance is coming together. It’s gonna be the perfect way to celebrate both your first Grammy nominations, a huge milestone in your and Harry’s career as well.

Grabbing his phone he quickly takes a picture in the mirror of the two of you, pulling you to his side as you smile into the camera through the mirror. Then you leave him alone on the podium as they are pinning his pants to make it the perfect size. Stepping to your bag you fish your phone out and reading just the first few words of Taylor’s last message she sent about ten minutes ago, you feel all blood rushing out of your face. Tapping on the notification you start reading.

Taylor: Please don’t lose your head, but we are dealing with this.

She attached several articles and you start digging through them.

“Is Harry Styles dating his new duet partner?”

“Harry Styles cozied up with Y/N Y/L/N at dinner with friends.”

“Can we expect some hot make out sessions at the Grammy’s from Harry and his new beau?”

And then there’s the absolute worst.

“Is Y/N Y/L/N going to take Harry Styles to court too?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble under your breath, vigorously typing back to Taylor to take them down. Two pictures have been leaked from the time you had dinner with Sarah and Mitch, it’s so odd because it’s been weeks since then, where were these pictures all along? Not that it matters, all you want is for them to be gone.

Against your better judgment, you go online and check your social media even though you know you shouldn’t snoop around now that it’s out there. No surprise, you and Harry are trending, but the reactions are very much mixed.

The impact of your case with Jordan is still major. It doesn’t matter that you won, people are still questioning whether he said the truth or not and now they are afraid you might drag Harry down just like you did with Jordan. That you are just trying to use his fame to get more attention and then ruin his career, making a victim out of yourself again, because apparently that’s what you’ve been doing.

You’re not only being dragged, but all of a sudden, nothing is about the music and the art you are making, people just want to know if you’re fucking Harry Styles or not. A lot of the times you’re not even named, only referred to Harry’s new lover or what’s worse, his hookup. You’ve lost all the credit you worked so hard for and for what? Because you dared to have dinner with a man?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asks walking up to you. Your eyes snap up at him and he immediately sees the shock and anger in them, setting panic in him as well. “What is it?”

“The fucking… pictures,” you hiss handing him your phone so he can see the articles for himself. He scrolls through them with furrowed eyebrows, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before handing the phone back once he has gotten to the end of it.

“Let’s finish this up and head home, okay? We’ll figure it all out.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you nod, trying your best to keep your anger at bay while the designers finish up on the outfits.

An hour later you walk into your place, talking on the phone with Taylor, discussing the situation though there’s not much you can do at this point. It’s all out, the pictures can’t be taken down. She suggests to just keep quiet for now, she’ll call Jeff to see what could be done as damage control.

Throwing your phone to the bed you feel your whole body shaking from the anger, it’s agonizing to know there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll figure it out,” Harry speaks up, trying his best to calm you down, but it’s not really working this time.

“Stop saying it, you don’t know that for sure. I can’t believe this bullshit is happening all over again,” you breathe out shaking your head.

“Again?”

“Yes! I’m being fucking dragged for something I shouldn’t be.”

“People will always have controversial opinion on everything, you can’t get them all to like you.”

“It’s not about liking, Harry!” you snap. “I couldn’t give a damn about people liking me, but they discredit my work. Have you read those articles? I’m seen with a man and suddenly, I’m not even seen as an artist anymore. I’m not even my own person in some of them, just a girl who is linked to you. How is that fair?” “It’s not, but stressing yourself about it until you’re sick is not gonna help anything,” he retorts in a firm voice.

“So I should just sit around and so nothing while watching all my work go to shit?”

“Nothing is going to shit! This is how it goes, there’s always something people talk about but they will forget about it in a week. That doesn’t take anything away from what you’ve proved through your career.”

“Now that’s a lie. Because if they did forget about things in a week, they wouldn’t be bringing up the whole Jordan thing now. I dared to stand up for myself against a man and look where it took me to! I’m the drama queen, the lying bitch who likes to ruin men for apparently no reason and they see me as a threat when it comes to you too. People are talking about how I’ll take you to court as well, they think I’m just using you even though they know nothing about me! And the worst part is that it wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t a woman. Whatever happens, however we react to the situation, it will never have the same effect on your career than it will have on mine.”

“So what, you’ll just live your life without ever doing anything that’s gonna upset people? There will always be someone who’ll judge whatever you do, you can’t do anything about that and if you let them get to you now, they’ll know they can mess with you easily.”

“So I’m just supposed to ignore everything? And not do a single thing about it? It’s easy for you, you’ll walk away from this without a scratch on your name, because you are a white man who can do no wrong in the eyes of the world.”

“Okay, now you are being mean for no reason.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you retort. “And you know what else is part of the truth? That I’m not even having it the worse. There are women who are even more targeted because of their religion, their skin color, their nationality or sexuality and people don’t even realize how hard it is for any of us. I’m sick of the injustice we have to live with just because of our gender!”

“I do acknowledge the problem on hand, I’m aware of it and I’m all for doing against it, but we are not gonna solve it instantly, it’s a long process. Sometimes we just have to pull back a little, be smart about things.”

“They will never stop about this,” you shake your head, stubbornly clinging onto your opinion. “I won’t be seen as a serious artist anymore, just some girl who was linked to you. It’s fucking done, over.”

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Harry asks with caution.

“Exactly what you are thinking about,” you reply with a bitter laugh. “I can’t be a respected artist if I’m with you.”

“That’s not true. It will die down, they will see that you are more than just who you’re dating and everything will be fine.”

“What’s not fair is that I have to work for it to be fine while you are still the same artist you were before it all blew up. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” you call him out and part of you knows you’re being mean and unnecessarily rude to him, but you just can’t control it any longer. You need to let it out and unfortunately, he is the one who is here to take the blame.

“It is, but what are you expecting me to do about it? Release a statement asking people to only talk about my dating life to make it equal? What can be done is that we try to fight this together, show them that you’re more than just a woman who is linked to a man in any kind of way.”

“Yeah, like realization is just gonna hit them,” you snap. “I’m at a turning point in my career, Harry. Whether I win a Grammy or not, this time is going to have an impact on my future. If I’m seen as just a girl linked to you, I’ll never make it. I’ll be forgotten and dragged again and I can kiss my career goodbye.”

You know you were way too harsh, but it’s what you think to be the truth. You didn’t fight your way to this point in life just to be seen as a man’s girlfriend rather than the artist you truly are. And right now, you can’t see yourself get out of this situation without letting go of Harry.

“Y/N, please don’t let this ruin what we have. We can get through this, you can’t let them control your life this much. Who are they to tell you what to do? That’s not the Y/N I know, come on!”

He tries to step closer, reaching out for you, but you take a step back, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you.

“I would prefer to be alone now,” you sternly say, folding your arms on your chest, closing yourself off from him as you don’t even look at him, because if you did, you know you would break.

“Y/N, please don’t do this, we—“

“Alone!” you snap, cutting him off.

He stares at you, hoping you might change your mind, but you’re quite set on this. He knows you well enough to know you won’t budge anytime soon. He lets out a shaky breath and slowly turning around, he heads towards the door as you’re already fighting your tears back. He stops right before he is about to walk out.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” he quietly says before walking out, the door shutting closed behind him.

The sobs start immediately and you fall to the ground, tears soaking your cheeks, already missing him more than anything in your life. You really thought it would be different this time, that things might get better, but you were naïve.

The next two days go by in a blur. The whole fucking internet is filled with those damn pictures of you and Harry, nothing has been about any of your Grammy nominations or even about your music, you’ve officially became the woman Harry Styles is dating.

Harry was titled as a Grammy nominee in every goddamn writing that surfaced, he was completely credited for his work while you could be happy if your name was written correctly. With every new article, your faith in having the career you worked so hard for lessened until you felt hopeless. You’ve officially became a dumb celebrity, just a woman who was known to be dating a man in the industry.

On the evening of the second day you have enough. You just read yet another degrading piece of you that was clearly written by a man, they once again talked about your case with Jordan, joking about history repeating itself and you swear you could scream and throw a tantrum like a baby at how useless and helpless you feel.

You put your laptop to the side and reach for your phone, dialing Taylor’s number.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks right away, knowing well how hard these past days have been. She came over the evening you sent Harry away and tried to comfort you, but nothing could help you that night.

“Hey, I want to ask you to do something and not try to talk me out of it.”

“Oh God…” she sighs, already knowing you’re about to do something stupid according to her.

“I don’t want to perform at the Grammy’s.”

“What? With all due respect, are you fucking stupid?”

“I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to do it.”

“Well, this has got to be the most ridiculous move you’ve ever tried to pull. Why do you want to throw such a huge thing away?”

“I can’t… sing that song with Harry. If I stand on the stage and sing with him… I just can’t do it, Tay.”

“Of course you can! Suck it up! I know you miss him and it fucking sucks what’s happening, but you have to do it!” she tries to convince you, but you’ve already made your mind up.

“No. I’m not doing it. Please let them know that it’s going to be just Harry performing.”

And with that, you end the call.

Taylor knows better than to try to fight you, she doesn’t call back though you know she wants to murder you right now probably, but she’ll come around, she always does. You make yourself a tea hoping to relax your nerves with it though you know nothing can help you now. You wish you had someone to rely on, someone you could talk to right now, but usually Taylor is that person to you and lately Harry has been your support, but you can’t call either of them. The rest of the people you consider friends… they are just not that close to you. You’re left alone, again.

As your gaze wanders over to your phone, a thought pops up in your mind that makes your hands sweat. You think back to the conversation you had with Harry about your parents and you can’t shake the urge off to finally make that call.

“Fuck it,” you breathe out and grab the device, opening up the contacts until you find what you’ve been looking for. Your thumb hovers above the call button for a while before you finally tap on it and start the call. It rings four times before a voice speaks up on the other end.

“Halo?”

“Hi mom,” you reply and hear a gasp from her at your voice.

There’s less than a week left until the Grammy’s. For your own sake, you haven’t been online outside of answering work emails, you just can’t deal with the shit show your life has become on the internet.

You haven’t left your home unless you really needed to go somewhere, did most of your meetings over the phone or videochat and postponed a fitting as well. You’ve officially caved yourself up in your apartment and you are not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Taylor keys herself in, she hasn’t even mentioned that she might drop by, but you’re not surprised. She is probably here to try to bring you out of this pity party you’ve been holding for days. When she sees you lying on the couch in sweats and messy, unwashed hair, she sighs, shaking her head.

“You really need to pull your shit together, Y/N.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your fuzzy blanket up to your chin.

“No, you’re not. This is not the bad bitch I know.”

“Bad bitches have bad days too.”

“This is not a bad day, you look like a fucking zombie. This is not what a Grammy nominee should look like days before the big show.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’m performing or anything,” you shrug, but the look in Taylor’s eyes make yours go wide. “Taylor, I’m not performing, you informed them about it, right?”

“This is why I’m here,” she sighs walking closer, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I never cancelled on your performance.”

“I told you I’m not doing it!” “I know, but I was hoping you might come around. But you seem to be still acting like a stupid bitch, so that didn’t happen. However, I’ve gotten an interesting email today.”

She pulls out her phone and opens the email before handing it over to you. Shooting her an unhappy look you start reading.

-

Hi Taylor!

I got your email address from Jeff, wanted to write to you myself. I’ve officially pulled out of the Grammy performance so it’s going to be only Y/N in it. We are also working on a statement to release over the whole ordeal and my lawyers have been after the bigger gossip sites to get the articles down. I want Y/N to have the Grammy experience she deserves and I know it can’t happen with me in the performance. Tell her that I’m sorry for ruining it for her, she deserves so much more. I’m sorry she was brought into this.

I hope to see you soon, take care!

Harry

-

With parted lips, you look up at Taylor who is smiling softly at you.

“He… pulled out for me.”

“He did. Talked to Jeff on the phone, they have already let them know Harry wouldn’t be performing, they will make it official tomorrow.”

“But he deserves this just as much as I do. He is a nominee too.”

“Well, seems like he values you more than his own success.” Taylor lets out a long sigh and scooting closer she places a hand to your knee. “Look, I know you’re upset about how the media treats you just because you were seen out with Harry, and I know that you’re afraid of getting labeled as just the girl he dates and not get taken seriously as an artist, but you can’t let them stop you from living your life how you want to. There will always be judgment, there will always be men who are worse than trash and want to bring you down, but you are stronger than that. Pushing Harry away and being alone for the rest of your life is not a solution. What you can do to put them to their place is give them a big fuck you, date the hottest man in the industry and continue being the bad bitch that you are, fighting against the way you are being treated. Speak up, show them who they are dealing with, share your truth, like you always do! But you can do all of this with Harry by your side. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy, don’t make yourself miserable because we live in a world where men are still placed above women. Fight for the change but don’t forget to think about yourself as well in the process.”

You feel the tears sting in your eyes. The weight of this past week is just way too heavy to carry, but Taylor is right and you are realizing that you’ve made it harder for yourself. The sobs come before you could stop yourself and Taylor pulls you into a hug.

“I know, I know. It fucking sucks, but you can’t let them win,” she soothes, running her hands up and down your back. “Show them how big of a bad bitch you are and get the man too.”

“You think Harry still wants to be with me?”

“I think that man would be on his knees for you in a heartbeat if you asked,” she chuckles pulling back. “Statement about the performance will be released tomorrow. That’s how long you have to figure it out,” she tells you with a knowing look before leaving you alone with your thoughts, however you don’t have to think long what you have to do.

You have not been the only one these past days took a toll on. The fight the two of you had left Harry completely drained, angry and helpless. He hated that he was the reason you weren’t credited as the talented artist that you are and he couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make it better. That’s when he came up with the idea of pulling out of the performance.

Now he is ready to spend the remaining days until the award show hidden from the world, not even leaving the house. Everyone close to him knows he is better not to be disturbed now, so he is quite surprised when the security system lets him know that someone has arrived.

As you drive up to his house you spot him immediately, stepping out the front door with a shocked look on his face, probably expecting you to be the last person to be there at the moment. You wipe your sweaty palms against your thighs as you walk up to him, feeling anxious to see him and talk to him, especially after the last conversation you had.

“Hey, I’m sorry for coming here without calling or anything…” you shyly start, stopping in front of you.

“Don’t be silly. Come… Come on in,” he clears his throat inviting you inside.

You’ve walked through this front door so many times in the past almost two months, but this is the first time you feel so odd, standing out, like you have no place in here and it’s all thanks to yourself.

“Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” Harry walks past you but then turns to face you, talking to you with such warmth and kindness, even after how you acted, putting blame on him for something he has no control over. It completely breaks you and can’t stop your eyes from watering as you look at him. You really hoped you’ve run out of tears in the past days, but it seems like that’s not the case at all.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” you breathe out shakily and you step closer to each other at the same time, he envelopes you in his strong arms and you fist his shirt at his chest. “I know it was none of your fault, I just got so desperate and afraid that it might ruin what I worked so hard for.”

“I know. And you were right about everything. Everything you said was true and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t right to be mad at you just because you have different privileges, it’s not like you can change who you are. So I’m really sorry about that, and also for pushing you away when you were just trying to be there for me. I was so stupid,” you breathe out, wiping the tears sliding your cheeks down away.

“You just panicked, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting to protect yourself.”

Resting your forehead against his shoulder you wait for your sobs to die down before you look back up at him. Reaching up he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you warmly and that smile alone ensures you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, with the right person.

“Taylor showed me the email you sent her,” you bring it up, clearing your throat.

“You deserve it all to yourself so people can see how amazing of an artist you are.”

“I’m not doing it without you,” you shake your head stubbornly. “We wrote the song together and we’re gonna perform it together or else I’m not doing it either.”

“Y/N, you know if we step on that stage together they are gonna twist the whole thing and make it about something else. I want you to have this opportunity for your career without me ruining it with just my presence.”

“Fuck them, if they take it as something it’s not. They are not gonna take the chance away from us to perform our song. If they are such fucking dumbasses that they make it all about what’s between us, that’s their own personal problem. If I need to, I’ll go on a Twitter rant and tell them this myself. I want you on stage with me or else I’m not doing it either.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, pressing his lips together as he stares back at you, probably realizing you are dead serious about pulling out of the performance and he is right. He doesn’t even know you were the first one to cancel on it, you’d do it again without hesitation.

“I guess we are performing then,” he cracks a small smile and throwing your arms around his neck you pull him down, lips smashing against his, the kiss mingling with giggles and smiles.

Harry wraps his arms tight around your waist, pulling you up from the ground as he spins you around, making you squeal as you hold onto him.

“I have to call Jeff to call the Grammy’s not to post the statement,” he hums against your lips and he pecks them a few more times before letting go of you to quickly make a call to his manager.

You move over to the couch in his living room as he talks to Jeff, who is luckily very understanding about the sudden change. Hugging your knees to your chest you watch him pace the floor, exchanging a few more words with the man on the phone before ending the call, his gaze dropping to you again. Sitting beside you, he kisses your temple, dropping an arm around your shoulders as you lean against him, head resting on his chest.

“I called my mom,” you drop the bomb suddenly and you can feel him tense up for a moment, probably shocked by your words.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Lifting your head your gaze meets his as you carry on. “She was… very shocked to hear my voice.”

“I bet,” he hums. “What did you talk about?”

“I just… asked how they are doing and told her that I’ve been thinking a lot about them. She sounded genuinely touched by it and said I’m always welcomed for dinner or lunch if I’d like to see them.”

“That’s amazing! See, I told you they would love to hear from you!”

“Yeah,” you smile at him softly. “I think I want to go over sometime after the Grammy’s.”

“I’m sure it’s going to go well.”

“Would you please come with me?”

Your question catches him off-guard he seems surprised that you would want him there, but then his expression softens as he leans down and kisses your forehead.

“I would love to, if you want me there.”

“I do,” you nod.

“Then it’s settled,” he smiles warmly as you lay your head back to his chest, his fingers gently dancing up and down your arm and for once in your life you finally feel settled, like everything is going to be fine.

Highlights of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards: Y/N Y/L/N blows up stage with new hit duet

The killer duo surprised us all with a brand new duet titled Floating Through Space, performed it together on their big night. Wearing matching galaxy themed suits, Y/L/N and Styles have closed off the evening with probably the most success, the latter winning two out of his three nominations, receiving the award for Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Album with his latest album, Fine Line, while Y/L/N was titled best new artist, becoming a Grammy winner early in her career.

Tabloids blew up earlier this month when the two singers were photographed cozied up at dinner with friends, speculations started about their possible romance, but Y/L/N has made a clear statement on the question with her red carpet appearance before the award show. Wearing a head to toe black Gucci gown paired with a dramatic cape, the message “I’M AN ARTIST, ASK ME ABOUT MY ART” painted onto it in red, making a bold statement about her opinion on the way the media has been treating the star.

Both singers remained silent on their alleged romance, but proved to be the best of their time with their joined performance with their new emotional duet. Following the song’s debut on stage it was released to the public as a single right away, taking over all charts with its overwhelming success.

Listen to Floating Through Space now on Spotify and Apple Music!

Your knuckles are turning white from the tight grip on the steering wheel as you stare up at the home you grew up in. It looks almost the same, sometime through the years you haven’t been around your parents have painted it a light blue color from the paste yellow, but it’s still… the same.

“Hey.”

Turning to your right you look at Harry who is smiling at you warmly as his hand reaches over and squeezes your knee gently.

“It’s going to be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, you’re still their daughter.”

“That’s not what they told me the last time I was here,” you whisper, feeling your throat closing up.

“We all say things in the heat of the moment. Seeing how happy they were about this lunch proves that they regret what happened.”

Nodding you take a deep breath to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Leaning over the console you pull Harry in for a kiss and it calms your nerves a little. Getting out of the car he takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know he’ll be right by your side all along. As you walk up to the front porch a sense of strong nostalgia washes over you.

You didn’t have a bad childhood, your parents provided you so much growing up, it’s sad to think what it has become. In a way you feel more anxious than walking the red carpet a week ago for the Grammys even though you’re just meeting your parents, but this is a turning point in your life that needed to come sooner or later.

“I’m right here, baby. It’s going to be fine,” Harry murmurs, kissing your forehead before you ring the doorbell, feeling weird that you come here as a guest, not as someone who belongs here.

You hear footsteps approaching on the other side, two frames appear through the clouded glass of the front door and then it flies open, pushing all air out of your lungs, clinging tightly onto Harry’s hand. There’s a moment of silence and just staring at each other before the tiniest smile tugs on your lips.

“Hi mom, hi dad.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reading #harry styles x y/n

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

I love your analysis on Rook. I really think he's a wolf putting on a sheep's clothes. The sheep outfit is sparkly and glittery though. There's something I've been thinking about recently about the best ways a hunter could evade his prey's attention (It was about a police stakeout but that's off topic. I just felt I had to explain why I was thinking about that so that you wouldn't think I'm Rook disguised as a Tumblr user and I'm hunting you out). Sorry. Anyways, you can either blend in with your surroundings (The most traditional approach) or stand out too much you make your prey think there's no way such a glittery attention catching bird is out for your poor life. Rook stands out much on purpose (The freaking fedora). When someone gives you nothing, you wonder what he is hiding. But when someone gives you a whole staged personality. The art lover & the beauty adorer you think you know him so you don't care much about asking the questions that truly matter.

Also, yesterday I read about Mickey's movie "Thru The Mirror". Which has the Ramshackle dorm based on, and I was surprised that the climax of the film involved the king and queen of hearts. About how Mickey made a pass on the queen so the king fought him and then Mickey defeated the king. It's probably too much but wouldn't it be amazing if the Ramshackle house had a big secret related to that event.

One thing I found interesting and more probable to have been considered in the game's writing is that in the movie, Mickey's soul leaves his body to head through the mirror and find himself in his house but everything in his house has turned crazy.

So, Grim & MC are actually staying in the crazy version of Mickey's house in the movie and he's living beyond the mirror in the normal version.

One last thing, since his birthday is tomorrow, I guess Cater's super villain potential lies in his tendency to make people do the work for him. Feels like a great potential corporate owner torturing his employees to death and enjoying the fruit of their hard work.

My submission yesterday was supposed to be way longer than it was talking about how you changed my view of a story I wrongly thought was superficial and childish and now I can't wait to read Book 3 and get acquainted with Azul's greed, Jade's infuriating calm facade and Floyd's incredible neediness.

I think the reason why Rook feels so one dimensional is because he portrays himself that way Pomefiore represents keep up appearances, and Queen Grimhilde best shows that—

I wanted to go more in depth with my Rook analysis but I deleted and rushed through cause I didn't want it to be deleted again lmaooo. I'm actually planning on doing a Case Closed:Warrant Filed type of analysis where I conclude my ideas about Trey and Rook.

ALSOS I DO NEED TO CATCH UP ON SOME READING THO

I kinda showed a more sympathetic Cater because he usually hides his villainy in plain sight—when making the first years paint the roses, trying to worm his way out of situations (Ace come get ur brother) and the like—and since no one can truly get mad at him he kinda just exploits it.

Maybe you could make him more nonchalant towards others feelings because he's so disconnected?? Maybe a bit passive towards violence even with the slight tweaking to his personality after the events of Chap 1.

Mickey might be trapped in the mirror as Yuu and Grim possibly took his place in twst, I think there was movie or episodic DVD set about Mickey exploring a world like twst but idk I need to catch up honestly—

That kingdom hearts hame kinda rotted my brain to other Mickey crossover villain stories—

Also, I can't believe I changed your perception of the game???? I'm just some random spouting weird ideas on the net bc I cannot cope with the real world around me lol (Cater is me, I am Cater).

At first I thought the game was kinda superficial and so I took it at face value but the amount of loose ends they leave (the potential of Trey's power, Rook, Jade) kinda had me looking deeper—thru the looking glass if you catch my drift.

I can't wait to see your other theories!!!!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst theory #scream into the void and i'll answer #@ano kata

[twistedtranslations]

Trey Clover - Wait Riddle!

You can unlock this story by getting Trey’s SR Ceremony outfit

Translation under the cut

Heartslabyul Dorm - Tea Garden

Trey: And that concludes the plans for the schedule of the welcome party for the new students. As the vice dorm leader, that’s all. And now, before we start the preparations, a word from the Heartslabyul dorm leader Riddle.

Riddle: Heartslabyul students! Form a line!

Heartslabyul students: Yes, dorm leader!

Riddle: I see. Everyone is perfectly coordinated, just like the trump soldiers. I am glad. In any case... after tonight’s entrance ceremony, all new students will go to their dormitory. If it happens to be that the welcome party is not ready, I intend to have everyone’s heads.

Heartslabyul students: Yes, dorm leader!

*footsteps*

Trey: Everyone ran away at once. As expected of you. That “encouragement” definitely made them pull themselves together.

Riddle: Trey, this is not the time to be dawdling. We still have to rehearse for the entrance ceremony. If the students cannot do their work perfectly, we will absolutely not have enough time.

Trey: Yes. That’s why I’m recommending to set up a schedule to assign everyone a role in preparing the welcome party.

Riddle: How about the rose bushes in the garden?

Trey: According to the 469th law of the Queen of Hearts “When one invites new friends to a party, the decoration should alternate between red and white rosebushes.” ... Right? It will be fine. The students in charge are currently changing the colors.

Riddle. I am glad. Then next is the food. You are in charge of the cooking.

Heartslabyul student: Excuse me for interrupting! Clover, we can’t find the table clothes for the welcome party...

Riddle: You have quite the nerve to come over and ask our busy vice dorm leader a question. Have you not drilled my manual in your head? The way to set the tables is described on page 107.

Heartslabyul student: I-I’m sorry! I did intend to read it more or less...

Riddle: More or less...? People like you... I should have your head...

Trey: Oh well, Riddle. The clothes should have been washed yesterday. You should check with the one in charge of the second years.

Heartslabyul students: Y...Yes, thank you!

*footsteps*

Riddle: How kind of you to not reprimand obvious negligent behaviour.

Trey: Not everyone is as perfect as you are. Besides, it would be very troublesome if work slowed down because our workforce shrank, right?

Riddle: ... I see. I understand what many reasons you may bring, but being correct in Heartslabyul is a different matter. The Queen of Hearts, who honors discipline, would definitely not have forgiven him.

Trey: Perhaps yeah. The next time, I shall just imitate you and the Queen of Hearts. In any case, let’s get back to the topic at hand. We were talking about the food for the welcome party.

Riddle: Yes. You have made a menu, right?

Trey: Yes. The hors d’oeuvre is turnip and marinated salmon. For soup I made cheese and minestrone.. The main course is an arrangement of ground meat pies.

Riddle: It’s perfect. Then let us continue checking everything. Especially today, we do not have time to spare. Good grief, if that Floyd hadn’t been interfering yesterday, I could have finished more work...

Trey: Now that you say it, that guy has been having fun walking behind you lately. The fact that I haven’t seen him today is probably because Octavinelle is also busy with the entrance ceremony. 

Riddle: It can’t be! That guy has no interest in things like that. I even protested against Jade. To definitely not have him come over to Heartslabyul.

Trey: I see. Well, let’s move ahead with the preparation.

Riddle: Don’t say that, I’m honestly troubled! ... Ah, I just get irritated thinking about Floyd.

Trey: Whoops, is it already this late? Leave the rest to me so you can focus on the entrance ceremony.

Riddle: I understand. This will be my first entrance ceremony as the dorm leader. I will definitely fulfill my responsibility.

Trey: Good grief...

Mirror chamber

Riddle: What was up with that entrance ceremony! Not only did some freshmen escape during the ceremony, a monster invaded and... nothing went according to my perfect plan! Listen, you new students. I invite you to create more trouble. But that head will be mine! 

Heartslabyul freshmen: Y-Yes!

Heartslabyul freshman A: ... Hey, isn’t our dorm leader really scary?

Heartslabyul freshman B: Right... We should take care not to anger him...

Trey: Riddle is on the verge of bursting...

Jamil: Trey.

Trey: Ah, you are Jamil from Scarabia. Is there something?

Jamil: It seems like the blood is considerably rising to your dorm leader’s head...

Trey: Yeah. One more problem and there’ll be quite an explosion.

Jamil: Riddle is a very strict and serious dorm leader. With you being at his side, you must certainly be careful, no?

Trey: Haha, supporting the dorm leader is part of the job as vice dorm leader.

Jamil: Our dorm leader... Kalim is way too noisy, and that’s what I am worried about...

Trey: I see. You have become Scarabia’s vice dorm leader, haven’t you? Congratulations on your inauguration.

Jamil: You are being overly polite... Thank you very much. As a fellow vice dorm leader, I would love to study under you.

Trey: Riddle and Kalim have completely distinct personalities even if they are both dorm leaders, I don’t think I’ll be of much use.

Jamil: The mental exhaustion never ceases... we differ little when it comes to that.

Trey: Hahaha. I just hope that the welcome party after this ends safely.

Cater: Hey, Treeeey!

Jamil: I shall excuse myself.

Trey: Okay. ... Cater, why are you in such a hurry?

Cater: Something terrible actually happened at our dorm...!

Chapter 2

Mirror chamber

Trey: What?! The rose bushes for the garden party have all been colored red? But the garden’s roses must be alternatingly painted red and white for the welcome party. You told them so, didn’t you, Cater?

Cater: Of course I did. But it seems the second years in charge of the painting made a mistake.

Trey: How troublesome. The new dorm students will immediately go back to the dorm after the entrance ceremony finishes.

Cater: Yes... we don’t have time to fix the colors. And if Riddle found out that the colors were wrong...

Trey: He’d behead the whole dorm, no doubt.

Cater: W-W-Wait, imagining that is way too scary! Trey, don’t you have a plan!?

Trey: ... I see, let’s do this. I’ll hold Riddle up, so you have time to return to the dorm. In that time, you should quickly paint half of the roses white. Cater, with your unique magic, you can easily create avatars of yourself, right?

Cater: Guh... Trey, are you serious? That’s super exhausting?!

Trey: Nevertheless, it seems like you will take on this very troublesome role for the sake of all the students. Thank you Cater.

Cater: Ugh, why do I feel like you’re forcing me against my will. You’re an inhuman and wicked vice demon leader!

Trey: Yes yes, I’ll listen to your complaints afterwards as much as you want. Hurry if you don’t want to be beheaded by Riddle!

Cater: Okay, I get it. It’s not like any other plans come to mind either... Well, I’m going, but definitely hold Riddle back!

Trey: Okay, leave it to me. ... Is what I said... But how will I hold Riddle back?

-

Trey: Riddle, excuse me. There’s something I want to verify about the welcome party’s menu, can you spare me some time?

Riddle: Why do you want to revise it? Haven’t we already confirmed our menu?

Trey: According to the laws of the Queen of Hearts, we decided that the main dish should be ground meat pie but... I thought we still had to decide if the meat had to be cow, pig or chicken. It might become troublesome if it was strictly fixed.

Riddle: I see... that is a blind spot. For you to pay such careful attention, that’s wonderful. Now that you say it, in the literature I’ve read, there were descriptions of rabbit meat pie being used. It seems the type of meat should not be fixed.

Trey: I expected nothing less of you, to be able to memorize those details of the laws of the Queen.

Riddle: Okay, then let us go to the venue.

Trey: !! Wait Riddle! I still want you to confirm something about the type of black tea we’ll use after dinner. This time I have prepared some leaves from the Scalding Sands, but there’s no rule that we are restricted to produce from the Country of Roses right?

Riddle: Heh, you are such a worrywart. There is no law that strict. Ah, but coffee is forbidden, so you should definitely not serve that! The Queen of Hearts does look forward immensely to drinking black tea at the Unbirthday parties. That’s why it’s decided by law that black tea should be served on any occasion besides a birthday party. Now, let us go to the venue.

Trey: !! Wait Riddle! How many sugar cubes do we have to put in the tea? 

Riddle: It does not matter. Heap it for all I care.

Trey: Understood. Next, about the planning of the colors of the candle we put on each table...

Riddle: ... Hey, Trey. I know you really want to conform to the rules, but aren’t you being a bit too anxious today?

Trey: Ah...you might be right. My bad, I might’ve been straining myself a bit. As the vice dorm leader of Heartslabyul, we have done many things together, but it’s still our first welcome party, isn’t it? I wanted to support you perfectly, and make it a day to remember.

Riddle: Trey... to think you were working hard with those feelings in your mind. It’s fine. I shall entertain your questions until you are satisfied. 

Trey: Ah. Thank you, Riddle. I should be able to save time with this. Hurry up and change the colors, Cater.

Trey: ... I see. So the design of the tableware I prepared should be no problem.

Cater: Riddle! Trey! The preparations for the welcome party are done~

Riddle: Thank you for your effort, Cater. Trey, are you finished?

Trey: Yes. You really helped me out, Riddle.

Riddle: Okay. Then let us go to the dorm. First years! I shall guide you now to Heartslabyul’s dorm. Follow me at once without delay!

Heartslabyul freshmen: Yes!!

Cater: Riddle is really enthusiastic.

Trey: You’re right... By the way, Cater. Did you manage to change the colors of the roses successfully?

Cater: Of course. My avatars have perfectly changed the colors to alternating between red and white.

Trey: I’m glad. Now we can finish the day with no one being beheaded.

Cater: You also did a good job at holding that impatient Riddle back until I came and got you. We really are today’s MVP’s, aren’t we?

Trey: Perhaps. It’s not like anyone would award us, though. Let’s go to the dorm. We managed to finish without incidents, let’s not ruin it by arriving late.

Cater: Right~ Well, for the sake of a super fun party... Let’s a go to the Heartslabyul dorm!

Heartslabyul Dorm - Lounge

Trey: Sigh... The clean up of the party is finally done... All the students have returned to their room. I still have 15 minutes left till the lights go out. I’ll have one more cup of tea. 

*beep*

Trey: Hm? A notification of an uploaded picture on MagiCam? That Cater is still uploading pictures of today to his MagiCam. He’s probably tired as well... #Today’sCay #Entranceceremony #Dignityofthethirdyears #Theceremonyoutfitsofnightravenarerare #NRC

Trey: ... Haha, he really went all out.

Trey: Oh well, Riddle didn’t get angry, and no explosions happened, and the welcome party went well. It’s been a long day. Being a vice dorm leader isn’t easy...

#twisted wonderland #trey clover #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #jamil viper #translation #personal story

[sheyshen]

My FanFic compilation

I figured I have written quite a lot over the years and especially this year, that putting together something like this, that has everything I’ve written so far in one place all organized would be a good idea! So please! Enjoy!

There’s quite a lot so they’ll all be listed under the read more, They’re all organized by series (fairy tail, swtor, mass effect, dragon age, greedfall, anthem, and smut fics) as well as by pair with a short description, starting with the first fic I wrote (fairy tail) and the latest (fictober 2020 prompts)  :D

Fairy Tail: (Leading off with this because it’s my first ever fic) -Shall We Dance, Pair: Laxus/Lucy: 38 chapters, Finished https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351550/chapters/9870611

Swtor: Main fic: -Breaking the Bad News (aka BTBN), multi-pair, main focus is shan trio: currently 70 chapters, Ongoing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340892/chapters/21164699

Side Fics: Kara Hawke’s Backstory(s):

Pre-Class story: -A Smuggler’s Tyr, no pairing, intro to Kara’s first crew: Currently 1 chapter, Complete (Might add more eventually)

During Class Story: -Adventure of a Lifetime, no pairing focus but will mention Darmas, meant to build on what we have of the in game class story: Currently 1 chapter, hiatus (plan to work on more with 2021)

Post Class Story: -Hawke Legacy: While Kara Sleeps, mentioned Theron/Kara, focus’s on Koro delivering the news of Marr’s ship being attacked to Theron. 1 chapter, Complete -Downtime, Theron/Kara, Post arrival on Odessen but prior to chapter 9 on kotfe, 1 chapter, complete -Desert Reunion, Theron/Kara, Introducing Kara’s dad and bringing him into the Alliance, 3 chapters, complete -A Moment, Theron/Kara, but starting to poke at the idea of Arcann being involved, 1 chapter, complete

Prompts: -Fictober 2018, day 1: Can you feel this?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-umbara/pre-copero so theron’s only mentioned -Fictober 2018, day 3: How can I trust you?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-Nathema, and a bit on the trio +kids, dealing with Theron’s return -Fictober 2018, day 5: Take what you need, mentioned Kara/Caleb (her first husband from her original crew), takes place before the class stories, short story about a job she had done -Fictober 2018, day 6: I’ve heard enough, this ends now. Kara/Arcann (sometime pre-nathema so sorry Theron’s not really in this one), bit of covering a reoccuring nightmare Kara had for a few months -Fictober 2018, day 7: No Worries, we still have time, Kara/Arcann/Theron (Arcann’s not present tho, just mentioned), little bit of the pair of workaholics +kids taking a break -Fictober 2018, day 12/13: Who could do this/Try harder next time, Kara/Arcann/Theron & Koren/Trey (Will have this in both pairs), sometime post-nathema probably, little adventure with Kara involving having to save her sons -Prompt: I Care about You, Theron/Kara, little bit of a rebuild of their kotfe reuinion -Prompt: Come Cuddle, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Short fluff story of one of their movie nights with some bad jokes -Promptless idea: Arcann Singing, Kara/Arcann/Theron, I’ve always had this idea that Arcann can sing at least as well as Senya does, so here’s a bit of him singing to kara’s boys, and also kara. -Fictober 2019, day 2: Just Follow me, I know the area, Kara/Arcann mainly, post onslaught so Theron’s involved but just not featured in this prompt. Little bit of a romantic night out. -Fictober 2019, day 3: Now? Now you listen to me?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, follow-up to the fictober 2018 day 6 prompt, and resolution to the chronic nightmares Kara was having -Fictober 2020, day 7: Yes I did, what about it?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-nathema, small bit of theron and kara heart to heart about a choice she made (involving Valss because I’m still bitter we didn’t get a save option for him) and both prosthetic users in the trio are sore (maybe there’s a storm moving in) -Fictober 2020, day 15: Not interested, thank you, Kara/Arcann/Theron (Arcann isn’t present for this), one of a handful of reminders that Kara and Theron are parents, connor just really wants to make his lightsaber -Fictober 2020, day 18: You don’t see it?, Kara/Arcann/Theron (post umbara pre Nathema so theron is only mentioned), something of a pep-talk from arcann.

Nora Hawke/Mikael Hawke: -That Time Back When We First Met, backstory on how my sith warrior and pub trooper met before they started their relationship: currently 2 chapters, hiatus (plan to work on more with 2021) -Fictober 2018, day 4: Will that be all?, little bit after they first met, can be considered a continuation chapter... technically

Koren Gates/Trey Hawke: -Fictober 2018, day 2: People Like you have no imagination, Koren/Trey & Shey/Torian (will put it for both pairs), little adventure of my bounty hunter squad +sith BF -Fictober 2018, day 12/13: Who could do this/Try harder next time, Kara/Arcann/Theron & Koren/Trey (Will have this in both pairs), sometime post-nathema probably, little adventure with Kara involving having to save her sons -Fictober 2020, day 13: I missed this, Koren/Trey, bit of fluff between my overly caring hunter who could use a day off and his grump of a sith boyfriend. -Fictober 2020, day 28: Do I have to do everything here?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Arcann and Koth decide to play a co-op holonet game, with only minor arguing. -Fictober 2020, day 30: Just say it, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Kara gets a little time to herself and the trio’s weekly movie night ends up being a bit more than just the three of them.

Shey Shen/Torian Cadera: -Fictober 2018, day 2: People Like you have no imagination, Koren/Trey & Shey/Torian (will put it for both pairs), little adventure of my bounty hunter squad +sith BF -Prompt: I’m Right Where I Belong, Shey/Torian sometime post kotet, a rare time that I bring up the fact that she has amnesia and still can’t remember anything prior to about 2 years prior to the class stories starting. -Prompt: ... out of habit (kiss), former Shey/Koro mention as well as Shey/Torian, because Koro is a mess and while him and Shey have been divorced for years habits die hard. -Fictober 2020, day 8: I’m not doing that again, Shey/Torian & Kurana/Andronikos (will be under both pairs), Little bit of a fun idea of who would win in a fight, our dear pirate or mando

Kurana Knight/Andronikos Revel: -Prompt: One Falling Asleep with their head in the other’s lap, Kurana/Andronikos, I keep thinking of this prompt now and then because writing Niko being soft for his wife is a lot of fun. -Fictober 2020, day 8: I’m not doing that again, Shey/Torian & Kurana/Andronikos (will be under both pairs), Little bit of a fun idea of who would win in a fight, our dear pirate or mando

Lyra Hawke/Doc: -Fictober 2020, day 1: No, Come Back!, Lyra/Doc, little adventure on an unnamed planet that I honestly love the idea of -Fictober 2020, day 6: That was Impressive, Lyra/Doc, Another little adventure of information gathering featuring Kara’s youngest son, Connor. -Fictober 2020, day 22: And neither should you, Lyra/Doc, little bit of fluff and doc trying to get his wife to take a day off

Ren Hawke/Vinn Atrius: -Fictober 2020, day 9: Will you Look at this?, Ren/Vinn, I need to write more of them outside of btbn so this was a start to hopefully more building on my didn’t plan to ship this as strongly as I ended up doing pair.

Ava Reiner/Jonas Balkar: -Fictober 2020, day 20: Did I ask?, Ava/Jonas, Small job featuring a couple of SIS agents, and including a bounty hunter I got attached to in a hurry.

Kyri Dennan/Arn Peralun: -Fictober 2020, day 21: This, this makes it all worth it, Kyri/Arn, little build up for another pair that I didn’t expect to get attached to, featuring some implant maintanence.

Airi/Theron (one off because disaster spy/spy pairing I had to write at least once): -Admittance, 1 chapter, complete

WoW: Aulara Stormdawn/Kieran Grimmarrow: -Lunar Eclipse, (Technically my first fic but I didn’t post it until after Shall We Dance), A story involving Aulara (an orphaned night elf priestess), Koren Haven (her brother from the orphanage, a human paladin), Kieran (a blood elf noble, hunter who doesn’t have much people skills), and the friends they meet including Rokar an old orc shaman and Sen a orc huntress, that navigates through the warcraft story starting with vanilla wow. Currently 7 chapters, on hiatus but planning on picking it up again in 2021! -Fictober 2020, day 4: That didn’t stop you before, Aulara/Kieran, A quest during Legion and a bit of a flashback from one of their first quests together around when they first started fighting side by side during BC -Fictober 2020, day 25: Sometimes you can even see, Aulara/Kieran, The burning of Teldrassil and Kieran deciding he’s willing to risk everything he’s ever known to be with his wife. Koren is there to give him a hand. -Fictober 2020, day 26: How about you trust me for once?, Aulara/Kieran, early BC before they became a couple, Kieran and Aulara get a moment to talk alone in Nagrand, involves something close to an awkward confession. >:3

Shey Wrynn/Varian Wrynn: -Prompt: Are you testing me?, Shey/Varian, post WoD but pre-Legion, little walk through elwynn turning into an adventure between the king and his wife, Shey is not amused when he charges in head first. -Fictober 2020, day 2: That’s the easy part, Shey/Varian, mid to late WoD, bit of fluff while planning the push towards hellfire citadel, bit of fluff and bit of proposal.  >:3 -Fictober 2020, day 10: All I ever wanted, Shey/Varian, post-BFA Pre-Shadowlands, proof I can write at least a little bit angsty, some platonic Shey & Anduin. -Fictober 2020, day 16: I never wanted anything else, Shey/Varian, something short around late Cata early MoP involving Shey having a birthday. -Fictober 2020, day 27: Give me that, Shey/Varian, probably what I consider the most ooc i’ve written him but honestly i had a lot of fun writing them being dorks. -Fictober 2020, day 31: I trust you, Shey/Varian, sometime early Cata soon after they started a relationship. The one and probably only time I’ll ever mention Shey’s old house, and a touch on the fact that i’m 100% certain that Varian would try and sneak out of the city time to time.

Shey & Anduin (platonic, it’s always platonic/familial between them) -Fictober 2020, day 19: I can’t do this anymore, Shey & Anduin, because sometimes a girl just needs to sneak her son out of the city to give him a break and maybe check out a ruin or something.

Shey Wrynn/Aethas Sunreaver: -Prompt: By your side, Shey/Aethas. Post legion, a bit of a moment between them early BFA. I started writing them as a potential pair before settling as friends with benefits that might form into more, so this is a possible hinting at them becoming “more”

Mass Effect: John Shepard/Kaidan Alenko: -Prompt: War’s End Kiss, Shenko, Post ME3 when they’re just a couple of retired old soldiers and John’s slowly recovering from his injuries from the final push. -Fictober 2019, day 4: I know you didn’t ask for this, Shenko, Post ME3, a bit of a heart to heart between them and tending to slowly healing injuries. -Fictober 2020, day 3: You did this?, Shenko, Post ME3, Kaidan runs across some old footage of John over the years from before they met to the reaper war. -Fictober 2020, day 14: You better leave now, Shenko, during ME3, short mission against a hold out of mercs, featuring James. -Fictober 2020, day 24: Are you kidding me?, Shenko, during ME3 probably, featuring Kaidan “my headache doesn’t hurt that bad” Alenko and John “please just take a nap” Shepard. -Fictober 2020, day 29: Back up!, Shenko, during ME3, mission to clear out a cerberus warehouse including some battle flirting and James lending a gun.

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie: -Fictober 2020, day 12: Watch me, Ryder/Gil, Post main MEA story, something short of Scott looking forward to getting out and exploring while Gil (and eventually Sara) work on the Nomad. (Sara is my pathfinder)

Dragon Age: Garrett Hawke/Fenris: -Dawning, Fenhawke, Short bit of fluff and my firt step into writing dragon age. Late or post DA2.

Lia Hawke/Fenris (a one off when I was debating on canon hawkes & romances for them): -Fictober 2020 day 5: Unacceptable, try again. Fenhawke, little bit of teasing and bad taste in books.

Rana Cousland/Alistair Theirin: -Promptless ramble, Rana/Alistair, Set during DAO with Rana reflecting on those she’s lost, worrying for her brother and realizing just how in love she’s fallen with Alistair. -Fictober 2020, day 23: Do we have to?, Rana/Alistair, set post DAO, pre-DAI, little romantic picnic between the king and queen of ferelden before she heads off on her next mission. (hints at Nathaniel being involved with the both of them.)

Greedfall: Lydia de Sardet/Kurt -Fictober 2020, day 11: I told you so, Lydia/Kurt, short bit trying to get my footing writing these two, Lydia thinks she can still climb trees like she used to as a kid. -Fictober 2020, day 17: Give me a minute or an hour, Lydia/Kurt, short bit, and Kurt not being as subtle about his feelings about Lydia as he probably thinks he has.

Anthem: Raya Auren/Matti (1 of the 3 Matthias Sumner) -Fictober 2019 day 1: It’ll be fun, trust me, Raya/Matti, Bit of an adventure involving Raya taking her favorite arcanist out of fort tarsis to see something very special. (also involving me having no clue how they transport people when there’s only one javelin and winging it)

Smut: (all of them are swtor so far) -A Moment Reprised, Kara/Arcann, takes place post-umbara and pre-nathema, and sometime late in BtBN, no plot. -Moving on, Koren/Trey, takes place right before chap 35 of BtBN, featuring my dorks of a hunter and sith setting in stone they’re serious about each other. no plot -Just a short vacation, Kara/Theron, takes place post-nathema pre-onslaught, A moment in Kara and Theron’s honeymoon at a lovely resort and the closest to taking a day off Theron will ever probably take. No plot -Welcome Home, Kara/Arcann/Theron, unlike the other 3 doesn’t have a specific time that it takes place other than post nathema. No plot

#my writing #this took forever i didn't realize i've written so much over the years #going forward i'm going to just add new ones onto this so they just stay connected without me having to redo this

[ironhusband]

The Golden Rule

I’m a new writer to this ship, so if you have suggestions or comments I would gladly accept them.

~~~

Tony had been in love with Rhodey since he was 15. 

It wasn’t love at first sight. He graduated from boarding school at 14, and his dad wasted no time in sending him to college the second he got him. When he walked into the room, his roommate wasn’t there yet. ‘Good,’ he thought. His last roommate from boarding school was a nightmare. When Rhodey appeared at the dorms, he didn’t expect anything different. When Rhodey hung up his military posters, one of Captain America, Tony sneered and didn’t expect anything different. When Rhodey found out he was Howard Stark’s son, he didn’t expect anything different. But Rhodey was different. 

It was also love at first sight. It was love at the moment Tony woke up, his head aching, his memories of the past night wiped and his eyes begging to be closed again. It was love with his eyes landing on the beautiful brown, slightly mad but mostly concerned eyes belonging to Rhodey. He asked Tony who gave him alcohol. Tony told him he didn’t know. Rhodey said nothing and asked him if he had a hangover food or if this was his first time. Tony didn’t say anything, so Rhodey got him eggs and bacon. 

Tony was chowing down his eggs when he whispered, “why are you nice to me? I haven’t been nice to you.”

“You’re just a kid,” Rhodey said, “you need protection.”

That was when he really met Rhodey. When he first got to know Rhodey. The first he wasn’t just a face he would rather avoid. The first time the sound of his voice sent butterflies to his stomach. In that way, it was love at first sight.

As Tony and Rhodey grew up, they became closer. They became friends. Rhodey was a little of a Captain America fanboy, just like Tony once was. It was annoying, but after Tony tired him out with all the stories his father used to tell him, Rhodey took down the poster and Tony felt a little victory. They stayed up late and talked about everything and nothing. They helped each other with homework, and Tony felt it was nice to have someone equal to him in robotics. Rhodey is the one that taught Tony that getting into trouble could sometimes be fun if it was meaningless pranks they did on people they hated or hacking into servers that he shouldn’t be hacking into (which was how Tony learned he could never get in trouble and his family had its perks). Tony didn’t want to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and that was how Tony met Rhodey’s family that sort of adopted Tony. 

Sometimes, when he thought Rhodey wasn’t looking, he would stare. Because he felt lucky to have Rhodey. Even if he was just a friend that didn’t see Tony as anything more.

Tony graduated two years before Rhodey did, but he didn’t leave. He asked Rhodey if he wanted to keep living together. Rhodey looked at him like he knew why he really wanted to stay (with pity. Tony doesn’t know if it was because Rhodey knew or thought Tony wanted to stay away from his family). Rhodey was gone half the time, and Tony busied himself with work, but it was about the same as it always was. Late-night talks, seeing Rhodey’s family, loving him but never doing anything about it.

Rhodey was drafted two years later. 

“It’s just basic training,” Rhodey promised, but Tony could hear the “for now”. Rhodey was about done with the training when Tony turned 21. He promised Tony he would come home and celebrate Tony’s birthday the proper way; with getting drunk. 

He kept his promise. Tony doesn’t know how gone they were, but he would forever treasure the fact that he wasn’t blackout drunk. He wouldn’t remember the way Rhodey looked at him when he told him he was beautiful and gently pressed his lips against Tony’s otherwise.

(Tony remembers a girl at a bar hitting on him the year Rhodey was in basic training. She was smart and pretty, but Tony just couldn’t. She didn’t judge. She just asked, “what’s the matter?” and then teased, “saving yourself?” And Tony almost slipped up and said yes.)

The next day Tony had to go back to the military. 

“Stay just a minute more,” he begged.

Rhodey looked at him sadly, “Tony, they only let me go back to... well, they let me go back to say goodbye. I’m being drafted. For real. I’m leaving in two hours. I have to go now.”

Tony was shocked, “how would you not tell me this?” He crossed his arms, and his mood was crossed as well.

“I didn’t want you to worry.

Tony’s heart was breaking. Rhodey always wanted to protect him. He wanted to protect him so badly, it backfired. He wanted to protect him so badly when Rhodey was the one that needed protection. Tony scoffed, “stop. That’s no excuse. We both knew you just didn’t want me to stop you.”

Rhodey laughed, “Tony, you aren’t god. You can’t stop this.”

“I can!” Tony insisted, “I can. I can tell my dad to put you in a different position. He has ties in the military. He could have threatened not to send them weapons anymore. Hell, I could have hacked into the servers. But you told me at the last minute when I could do nothing because you know how I would feel about this.”

Rhodey didn’t say anything. Tony wanted to cry. He didn’t want this to be his last memory of Rhodey. He wanted him to stay. To have a life with him. Far away from his family and the military and everything else that can be thrown in their faces. His heart didn’t thump in heartbeats, just the phrase “I love you”. It was telling him what words he should tell Rhodey. But he couldn’t.

Rhodey didn't say anything. He just kissed Tony. A long kiss. Let Tony melt in his arms, let him break down in his arms, let him babble whatever he wanted in his arms. Neither of them said it. But they both knew it.  

~~~

Rhodey didn’t die. A year passed, and they sent letters to one another. Rhodey told him about everywhere he flew to, Tony told him about all the traveling abroad to study he was doing. They weren’t any decelerations of love, although Tony longed for them. They didn’t talk about the night they spent together, although it was all that Tony thought about writing to Rhodey.

But Rhodey promised he would come back to him. Rhodey told him that he missed him. Rhodey told him about all his plans for them. Rhodey told him about his friends teasing him about the letters. Tony hoped all the things he wrote, his quips about missing Rhodey too, about how much he could fit in where Tony was, about how the guys were just jealous of what they had, Tony hoped he did the same to Rhodey, as Rhodey did for him. 

But then his parents died. Rhodey was there for him at the funeral. He could bury his head in Rhidey’s shoulder and just breathe in his scent, not think about all his confusing emotions, his guilt and regret, his hate and missing closure, his grief and sadness. He could not think about how he wasn’t missing his parents, but also missed them too much.

After the funeral, Rhodey bought Tony a cheeseburger. He held Rhodey’s hand hesitatingly as he drove them home. Rhodey swiped his thumb over his hand reassuringly. 

“I’m getting a promotion,” Rhodey told him, “I’m moving back here.”

“Oh,” Tony said. He wanted to be happy for Rhodey, and he was happy, but those days, he was too empty to feel anything. “That’s great. I’m happy for you. It would be great to have you again.”

“I think we shouldn’t be together,” Rhodey blurted out.

That caught Tony’s attention. “What?”

Rhodey sighed, “Tony, I...” he trailed off, “you know how I feel about you. And if you don’t, just know that I... I do feel for you. But I know my career can be compromised by all this, and yours too. I mean, you’ll be taking over SI now...”

It was the first time since he heard the news of his parents dying that tears rose in his eyes. He didn’t cry in the funeral, but he did over Rhodey messing with his heart. “no, Rhodey, don’t do this to me. I waited so long for you. You can’t throw this away.”

Rhodey cupped Tony’s face in his hands, “please don’t cry because of me.”

Tony didn’t stop crying.

Rhodey didn’t want to see that so he closed his eyes and put his forehead against Tony’s.

“I’m sorry...” he sounded choked up, “at least we had that night.”

Yeah. At least they had that night.

~~~

Tony had many more lovers after that. They were all just for one night too, but not because Tony didn’t want to stay.

There was Maria, who reminded him of his mother, and not just because she had her name. It was because her kind nature could warm Tony’s cold loveless heart and her cooking was pretty good. She seemed to care more than his mother, though, and Tony knew he would just disappoint her. 

There was Trey. He was shy for a bartender but could hold a conversation good enough (better than most). His drink mixing skills weren’t that good, but the guy was new at the job, so Tony thought he would give him a lesson. He gave him a look when the lesson was simply the phrase “no matter what anyone asks give them a scotch.” At least it was a lesson to remember. 

There was Eve, who he met at eve. Her tongue was sharp and honest, and she liked betting against Tony. It was a good decision since Tony was a horrible gambler and he had lots of cash. By the end of the night, Eve was 600 dollars richer. Although Tony would never have expected his pick up lines to work on her, they did, but her attraction didn’t mean she still took from Tony what she wanted (his watch was also stolen the next morning. He kept her note and never pressed charges).

There was Vic. Tony didn’t know if it was his full name, but that’s what it said on his identification card. They couldn’t communicate with each other since Vic spoke Japanese and Tony didn’t, but his words and sometimes his silence ran deep in Tony. He left the next morning but learned Japanese for him. 

And of course, there was Maya. Maya who was smart, probably more than him at the subject she studied. Maya who listened when people talked to her, but was also one hell of a talker. Maya who didn’t take his bullshit but also laughed at his jokes and made her own. 

All of them, he thought about staying for them. For some, he almost stayed. But he never actually stayed. He never broke his golden rule: “we had that night.”

#tw alcohol #tw military #maya hansen #rhodey #james rhodes #james rhodey rhodes #tony stark #iron man #war machine #iron husbands #tony stark x james rhodes #james rhodes x tony stark #rhodey x tony #tony x rhodey #tonyrhodey #rhodeytony #captain america #steve rogers #mcu #marvel #i didn't check this so I don't know if it's good but never mind that #also I know nothing about the military sooooo #everything i wrote was bullshit #last night story #my-writing

[scornedlove]

Chapter Sixteen

CHRIS

“Thanks for coming down to help out Chris. This wouldn’t have been as great without you” Romero commended, shaking my hand. Romero was a fellow artist who just started a nonprofit organization of his own for children with developmental disorders, Best Buddies International.

I flew out to Miami, Florida a couple of days ago and we worked nonstop to create a graffiti mural and a few portraits, which would be auctioned with proceeds going to both Best Buddies and Symphonic Love. It was a lot of work, but I had a lot of fun, and the kids were ecstatic. I enjoyed keeping up with their energy and couldn’t wait for our next event.

“Anytime man, I love helping out when it comes to the kids. I learned a lot from you too, maybe you can come down and collab on something with me next time”

“All I need is a date” he quickly agreed.

After finishing up with Romero, I went straight to the airport. I had the next couple of days to myself, so I couldn’t wait to get home to relax. A friend of mine, has been staying at my house for the past couple of weeks and I've been feeling bad for not being there. I had Tina let him in and hadn’t been there since he arrived.

Anthony and I go way back. We were neighbors for several years when I lived in Virginia. His mom moved to Houston, Texas when he was fifteen to get away from his abusive father and I hadn’t seen him since. We reconnected through social media a couple of years ago and check on each other every now and then.

He recently started having issues with his mom. She wants him to get a job, but he’s been trying to follow his dream of becoming a singer, so when he hit me up asking for a place to crash, I welcomed him with open arms. I know what it’s like to chase your dreams and it’s definitely not easy.

“Finally home” I sighed, six hours later as I kicked off my shoes. Since we launched Symphonic Love, business opportunities have been coming left and right, so the past few weeks have been crazy. On top of that, I sold my house and moved into a Hollywood Hills home. Even though I had initially planned to downsize, Nicki found me a place with a good price that was just as big as the old place and even more luxurious. The best part is that it’s closer to both galleries and my studio.

With all the traveling I had been doing, I hadn’t even had the chance to enjoy my new house. That ends tonight. I thought to myself as I headed straight to the kitchen for a glass of whiskey.

“I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow” Anthony shrieked, as he and Ryan scrambled to gather their clothes off the ground.

“Please don’t tell me ya’ll fuckin on my counter!” I groaned. “I have two big ass guest beds and ya’ll chose my damn kitchen counter?”

“I’m sorry Chris. We didn’t mean to. I mean- it just sorta happened” Ryan stammered trying to explain and keep her breasts covered at the same time.

I walked out, just as quickly as I walked in. I was pissed off at the disrespect and had to leave the room before I said something I would regret.

I took a shower, then smoked a blunt to myself while Diamond played with the new chew toy I got her from the airport gift shop. She was cute and I couldn’t help but laugh as she ran in circles and barked at it. I recorded it and sent it to Mama, since she had been asking about her the whole time I was gone. As soon as I put my phone down, it rang.

“Hello” I answered, as Diamond jumped up and ran out, startled from the music.

“Hey Chris” Lashontae’s voice smiled through the phone. Since the tour I gave her at CB Fine Arts, we've been talking a couple times a week. 

She's a hair stylist with her own salon, loves art and music as much as I do, plus she's really down to earth and funny. I didn't even realize how much I missed having good conversation with a woman.

“Hey Tae, what’s up” I asked, getting comfortable on the bed.

“Not much, I’m in town this week. I know you always have so much going on, but I was hoping to link up tomorrow”

“I guess you have good timing because I’m free tomorrow, we can make that happen.”

"Cool, I have to find a DJ for the wedding. I have a couple of appointments booked, and I was hoping you wouldn't mind helping me out"

"Of course not, you know music is my forte. Are you at Trey's right now?" I asked being nosy.

"Yeah, I would've got a room, but Lala and I had so much to do to get this planning done, plus the first appointment is at nine in the morning, so I figured I better just stay here. "

"Ok, I'll be there bright and early" I promised before we said our goodbyes. I don't know why I was feeling giddy but I was looking forward to chilling with Tae again. Robyn stood me up on her birthday so I finally threw the towel in. I will always love her and have love for her but I miss having someone to come home to.

"Chris, I really hope you know I didn't mean any disrespect" Anthony stated as soon as I walked in the kitchen the next morning. He was eating in the same spot Ryan had her ass on last night.

"That was foul... just don't do it again" I replied, pouring that shot of whiskey I was going for last night. "You want some?"

"This early? Yeah, I'll take one." He shrugged. "I really appreciate you letting me stay here, and Tina's been a lot of help"

"but not as much as Ryan huh?" I teased.

"ok, you got me" he chuckled.

"It's really good to see you man, it's been forever. How have you been ?" I asked changing the subject.

"The truth? Horrible. I've been dealing with some crazy shit. Between my mama and trying to get this music off the ground, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind" he admitted.

"Well you don't have nothing to worry about. You're welcome to stay as long as you need. I 've been where you are and I want you to know I got your back bro" I reassured him.

"Thanks man, enough about me. Look at you. You doing big things. I can't even get a hold of you, I got to book appointments and shit" he joked.

"It's been far from easy and a long journey, but definitely worth it."

"I bet. The last time we actually 'talked', you were planning on proposing to your girl...what happened with that?"

"I fucked it up. That's a long story that I'm not even about to get into, I'll have you here all day, and I have somewhere to be" I chuckled.

"Yeah, I don't have the time for a chick nowadays either" he replied.

"What do you call Ryan then?"

"That doesn't even count. She stopped by to see you and we started talking, then she wanted to hit the blunt I was smoking, and the next thing I knew, you were walking in on us. She said y'all were just friends though. She wasn't lying, was she?"

"Nah, we're just friends. I won't lie though, we fucked a couple times."

"Wow. So, shorty just lied to my face. See that's why I'm single" he shrugged and we both laughed.

"What you been doing these past couple of weeks, have you been getting shit done or just getting familiar with your surroundings?"

"Man, I'm serious about this shit. I've been at a different club every night since I got here, except last night. I ran into Trinidad James the other night. I don't know if you heard of him, but he's this new rapper that's hot right now. I gave him some of my work and he already hit me up. I'm supposed to be meeting with some people at his label tomorrow" he grinned happily.

"Already? I'm proud of you man you getting out there and gettin it, not wasting any time. That's what's up" I nodded while we bumped fists.

"Yeah man, so what you got up for today?"

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you Trey is getting married. I'm his best man, so me and the maid of honor are helping out with some wedding stuff today"

"Oh ok" he replied just as my phone rang.

“That’s her now. I gotta get going” I stated, grabbing my keys and heading out.

"Thanks for your help today” Tae smiled after we walked out of our final meeting. The first DJ was way out of the budget, the second one was affordable, but wasn’t what we were looking for style wise, and the third DJ was perfect. He was experienced, knew exactly what we were looking for, plus his pricing wasn’t ridiculous.

“No problem. I really enjoy hanging with you” I smiled, holding the passenger door open for her.

“You’re kinda cool too” she winked. “Do you mind taking me to get some food before dropping me off? I’m starving!”

“Of course not. Where do you want to go?” I asked once we were both settled.

“Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s Mexican food”

She wasn’t familiar with anything here, so I decided to take her to my go to Mexican restaurant. Lucky for me, we beat the lunch rush. 

“I have a question” she announced, after we placed our order and the waitress was gone. “I don’t mean to pry, but you seem like the total package. You have yourself together professionally, financially, you’re a gentleman, you pull out chairs and use manners, and you’re sexy as fuck. So, tell me: Why are you single?”

“Well thanks for the flattery, but everyone has their flaws. In my last relationship, I could’ve been a better man. I made poor decisions and didn’t think about how my ex would react when she found out, because I never considered her finding out to begin with”

“So basically, you cheated?” she asked bluntly.

“Well, there’s more to the story than that, but yes. That’s what it pretty much boils down to” I confessed.

“How many women are you dating now?” she asked curiously.

“None. She was a big deal; we were engaged and she left the night before our wedding. It’s been a year now, since she left.”

“So, what’s the deal with that? Are you waiting on her to come back or something?”

“No, I’ve tried over and over to reach out to her, but it didn’t work out in my favor. I’ve moved past it now. Enough about me. Why are you single? How many men are you dating?” I asked changing the subject. 

“Well, I was engaged too. He died three years ago in a car wreck. I haven’t really dated anyone since” She shrugged.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that”

“I’ve come to terms with it. It was hard, but I know he wouldn’t want me to be sad about it forever. He was the love of my life and the two years we spent together were the best two years of my life” she smiled slightly, obviously reminiscing.

“Mmmm. This is amazing. Definitely the best torta I’ve ever had” she stated, licking her lips seductively.

“So how did you end up in the hair industry? Has it always been your dream?” I asked after devouring a couple of tacos.

“Not really. I was just really good at it, so I decided to go ahead and get my license. That was definitely the best decision of my life, because now I have my own prosperous salon. What about you? Has art always been your dream?”

“Nah, it was my back up plan. Basketball was my dream. I had a scholarship and everything, but I ended up in the middle of a domestic issue and it cost me my dream”

“Well, everything happens for a reason. Look at you now.”

“How did you become such a fan of my art?” I asked curiously.

“My father was an art fanatic, so it just kind of rubbed off on me. Trey and Lala have quite a few of your pieces. I came to visit one weekend and I fell in love with a couple of paintings so I practically begged for them. I paid for them, but Trey really didn’t want to let them go. It’s sweet how much he really supports you”

“That’s my brother from another mother. We’ve been best friends for over a decade now” I smiled. “I have an art exhibition coming up in the next few weeks, I would love for you to come. 

“Oh, I’m there. You don’t even have to say it twice, just send me the info” she grinned excitedly. We sat and talked well over an hour and could’ve stayed for another hour, but they were super busy during their lunch rush so we headed to Trey’s.

“I hear you guys are really clicking” Lala grinned. “I’m gonna give you a heads up, Tae is super independent and doesn’t like it when men tell her how to do things. She can be stubborn sometimes, and tend to push people away when they’re getting ‘too close’, but I’m sure it’s because she lost Brandon a couple of years ago. She hasn’t had a real relationship since, but I think you guys are perfect for each other. Just take your time”

“Thanks for the advice. How’s the wedding planning going?” I asked changing the subject. “Have ya’ll picked a date?”

“August 31st. That gives ya’ll plenty of time to get to know each other. You never know, it could be a double wedding” she teased.

“You and Trey are something else” I laughed. “Ya’ll swear ya’ll some matchmakers”

“I know right” Tae laughed, coming back from the restroom. “They stay trying to hook us up. We got this Lala, we don’t need no help” she winked in my direction.

“So, when are you heading back to Houston?”

“Tonight. I gotta get back to business, but I will be back for that exhibition. Don’t forget to send me the info so I can make arrangements asap”

“I’m doing that now” I replied, pulling out my phone and forwarding an email to her. “Done”

“Cool. I can’t wait” she smiled widely and leaned in for a hug. She smelled so good, I didn’t want to let go, and I had to focus to keep my manhood from jumping up and scaring her.

“Thank you soooo much for dropping everything to come over. There’s been so much going on, I just needed some normalcy” Nicki sighed plopping on the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“The wedding is less than two months away and I’m just scared. Sam is constantly on the road. How is this supposed to work?”

“What do you mean? The same way it’s been working. Ya’ll have been together forever, why is his job bothering you now?”

“Because of this” she sighed, tossing a small ziploc bag on the counter. There was a little white plastic stick with a blue positive sign.

“Wait, you’re pregnant?”

“I just found out today. I don’t want kids like this Chris. I want to be married. I want my child to have both parents present, not in and out. I can’t do this by myself” she cried.

“First of all, you will never have to do it by yourself. What do you think family is for? Blood couldn’t make us any closer.”

“I know that. It’s just....this wasn’t in the plan, not yet.”

“Well sometimes the plan isn’t what you envisioned. That doesn’t mean it can’t be as beautiful or even better”

“You’re right” she smiled, relaxing a little bit. “I just wasn’t expecting this to happen to me. We’ve been so careful”

“Well usually the best blessings come unexpectedly” I smiled poking her stomach. “You’re about to be somebody’s mommy”

“Ugh. You always bring the good to light in any situation. You’re looking good too, and you haven’t stopped smiling since you walked in the door. Spill it. You and Robyn back together?” 

“I wish. I mean, no. I don’t know what happened. We talked on her birthday, made plans, and she stood me up. I’m done with that, I can’t hold on to the past forever. I met someone though. Her name is Tae, it’s new and I don’t want to jinx it, but I think she might be a good one”

“Awww, if she has you smiling like that, she must be a good one. I haven’t seen you with a ‘happy’ smile in so long, bro. You deserve to be happy again. Everyone makes mistakes, that doesn’t mean you have to bask in them for the rest of your life. Well, I guess this means you have a date for the wedding” she added.

“I told you it’s still new. We’re just kicking it and getting to know each other.”

“Well, I hope she’s still around by then. I’d love to meet her” she added. “Oh and another thing. I was really hoping you could be the one to walk me down the aisle”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I don’t know where I would be if I never met you. You don’t even understand how much you’ve influenced my life. I would not be where I am without you, that’s a fact” she smiled as her eyes began to water.

“Awww, don’t cry. Of course, I got you. I will always be here for you, and that big head baby you’re gonna have” I grinned, giving her a bear hug. “Now get yo ass on the phone and tell that man he has a baby on the way, so he can start getting things in order. I know he’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, besides I’ll make sure of it”

#ff #fanfiction #chris brown #fanfic #chris breezy #breezy #cbreezy

[book-of-leftover-ideas]

Chapter Two (Book 1 of the Immortals Trilogy

When it comes to life, live it to the fullest. No one ever knows when some life changing might happen, whether it be something positive or not. So go live life how you want to live it, don’t do what others want you to do. Leave those pages blank because with doing that, you’re proving that you are capable of writing your own story.

-E.G. Stansfield

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fawn had explained everything from the dragon she killed just weeks after she left to her saving an entire village just a month ago. All the while, Ash was amazed at all the crazy adventures his friend has had since she had left his village all those years ago, and by then, Fawn had finished and was out of breath, her cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of pink.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Tracer smirked as he leaned up against the doorway.

Ash nodded, a laugh escaping him before looking up at Fawn.

“What are you planning on doing for your next adventure?” He asked, but Fawn shrugged. “Slay another dragon or an ogre half-breed?”

Tracer whacked Fawn on the arm, but she punched him back.

“What was that for?” Fawn asked as Tracer nodded towards Ash. “Oh, yeah. That…”

Fawn laughed awkwardly and tucked a piece of hair, which was now a metallic royal blue, behind her ear for before speaking.

“I may or may not be training to be in the King’s personal guard…” Fawn said slowly.

“By gods, Fawn!” Ash exclaimed. “You’re just full of surprises!”

“Yup,” Fawn stated, popping the ‘p.’

The conversation between the two friends continued. The subject of the King’s personal guard remained for a while but it somehow changed into how pigs can be excellent friends and not just food. Tracer added some input, but was eventually pulled into the conversation. Together, they talked like any friends would.

Gossip flowing into juicy rumors, how many women the prince was actually courting at one time, and, of course, arguments on who was the best smithy out of the three. Usually, they wouldn’t brag around one another, but it was all brought out because Fawn had to mention the fact that her birthday last month and that she was now allowed to drink legally, so Ash and Tracer were, as guessed, drunk beyond their wits.

“Clearly I’m the best blacksmith, I mean, have you seen my skills?” Ash slurred

The other two laughed heartily.

“You can’t forge anything for shit!” Tracer said, obviously intoxicated. “I’m the most experienced.”

Fawn was the most sober out of the trio, all she had was a small buzz. She watched her two friends continue until their talking came to a stop. Fawn hadn’t noticed the two turn silent because she was lost in her thoughts. Ash cleared his throat. Fawn looked up slowly, as if she had been woken from sleep. The two males before her looked at the Hybrid expectantly.

“What?” The girl asked. “Did I light another house on fire again? Or did I make little Samuel Wynton spontaneously combust again?”

Ash and Tracer snorted with laughter at her comment. Fawn then remembered what the two were talking about.

“As if!” Fawn said, “Clearly I’m the best blacksmith because—”

The Hybrid was the first out of the three to actually give proof all night, so the Pheonix and the Shapeshifter knew that their sides of the argument were at an end. There was no point in arguing with Fawn.

“—My father had trained me before he passed, and he was the best blacksmith the kingdom has ever known, not to mention that he was the heir to the throne once, so he was pressured into being the best by his parents, my grandparents so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed. It must be nearly midnight.” Fawn said as she stood from her seat. “Goodnight, you two.”

“G’night, pretty lady!” Ash slurred happily, a drunk smirk placing itself on his face.

All Fawn received from her mentor was a lopsided wave and smile. As she was heading to a spare room, she heard Ash whisper, “She’s s’pretty, ain’t she Trey? As pretty as a star!” Fawn laughed softly as she felt heat creep to her cheeks at his comment, but brushed the feeling off, thinking that he was just a drunk, and that she was the only one he could think was an angel in his drunken state.

The next morning, Fawn awoke with the sun in her eyes and her hair sprawled out on her pillow. She groaned in regret. Her head hurt slightly because of how much she drank. Even though she had a small buzz the night before, she regretted drinking immediately. Fawn ran to the privy, almost throwing up on the way.

“Gods, why did I even mention the fact that I was twenty-two?” She groaned before she heard someone knock on the door, she looked up, smiling half-heartedly.

“That must be quite a hangover, my friend,” Tracer said. “Even though you hardly drank anything.”

Fawn laughed, remembering what her two friends did late into the night.

“That’s because it’s my first time trying the stuff, that or I might have an intolerance, like my mother. But this is nothing compared to what you and Ash did last night,” Fawn said hoarsely before walking into her room and into the kitchen, where Ash was making breakfast.

Tracer paled at her words. He felt sick. The Hybrid smiled. Tracer looked at his friend, silently asking her how bad it really was.

“You two kissed each other while trying to prove to the other who was a better kisser,” Fawn said. “That’s the worst thing you two did. You two were out of it.”

Tracer laughed awkwardly and ran his fingers through raven black hair; in Fawn’s mind, she thought that he was going to break down and cry. Fawn snickered as Ash spun around, eyes widened.

“Liar!” Ash yelled. “You’re lying!”

Fawn burst out laughing and soon, tears were streaming down her face as they begged her to tell them the truth, and until she did, they would not feed her or talk to her. Hours later, she broke.

“Fine, I’ll tell you the truth,” Fawn said. “I actually dared you guys, I’m sorry…”

“Apology accepted,” Tracer said, a forgiving look on his face. “You better get ready to leave Fawn, it will take days to reach the kingdom.”

If only they could tell that Fawn was telling another lie. She couldn’t help it, it was quite hilarious to mess with her two closest friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@calicoskatts Here’s the second chapter!! Sorry it took so long to publish it, I’ve been pretty busy with school and everything. I’m on my last two weeks of school for the semester and finals have started. But at least it’s published!!!

#finally published #school #finals #immmortals #chapter two #book one #trilogy #ash #fawn #tracer #youre welcome #i feel proud #Thanks Mr. Bigley

[gaymusicchart]

GAY MUSIC CHART – 2017 week 46

 Welcome to the Gay Music Chart, the LGBTQA related music videos TOP 50 actuality and most request.

Vote for your favourite LGBTQA related music videos by leaving a comment for this post on :

YOUTUBE (in the comment section of the video of the week) : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz7yfp-xq-b08tD6mAWwclA

BLOGGER : http://gaymusicchart.blogspot.fr

FACEBOOK : https://www.facebook.com/GayMusicChart/

TWITTER : https://twitter.com/GayMusicChart with #GayMusicChart  

TUMBLR : http://gaymusicchart.tumblr.com  

 Here is the recap for this week :

 OUT : Zayn feat. Sia - Dusk Till Dawn (LW: 16 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 02)

OUT : Sam Smith - Too Good At Goodbyes (LW: 18 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 04)

OUT : Superfruit - Deny U (LW: 20 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 20)

OUT : Bob The Drag Queen feat. Alaska Thunderfuck - Yet Another Dig (LW: 23 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 23)

OUT : Keiynan Lonsdale - Good Life (LW: 26 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 26)

OUT : Morgxn - Bruised (LW: 27 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 27)

OUT : Γιάννης Βασιλόπουλος, Σπύρος Παρασκευάκος, Δήμητρα Σελεμίδου / Giannis Vassilopoulos, Spyros Paraskevasos, Dimitra Selemidou - Μαμά, Μπαμπά / Mum, Dad (LW: 30 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30)

OUT : דנה אינטרנשיונל Dana International -  יש לי אהבה / I Have Love (LW: 34 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 34)

OUT : Jamal Lyon’s When Cookie Met Lucious (ft. Jussie Smollet) | Visual Album | EMPIRE (LW: 36 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 30)

OUT : Javiera Mena - Dentro de ti (LW: 37 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 37)

OUT : Harel Skaat - Radio (LW: 38 / WO: 27 / PEAK: 01 (x3))

OUT : Chastity Brown - Whisper (LW: 39 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 39)

OUT : Alaska Thunderfuck - Valentina (LW: 40 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 19)

OUT : George Michael feat. Nile Rodgers - Fantasy (LW: 41 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 31)

OUT : Kim Petras - I Don't Want It At All (LW: 43 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 27)

OUT : CRIMER - Hours (LW: 45 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 21)

OUT : Mr John - Tira a Camisa (LW: 46 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 30)

OUT : Cassandre - Paris la nuit (LW: 47 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 10)

OUT : Litha Bam - Feel the Music (LW: 49 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 49)

  01 (+ 2) : Alfie Arcuri - If They Only Knew (LW: 03 / WO: 19 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

This is the new music video of the winner of The Voice Australia 2016. What must do a gay man when he's in love with his best male friend, who's dating his best female friend?

 02 (=) : Huntington - Love Is Love (LW: 02 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 02)

Three years after "Secret", this is his new original song.

 03 (+ 4) : Wrabel - The Village (LW: 07 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 03)

This engaging song was written the day after US President Trump removed new federal protections for trans students in public schools last February. Trans actor August Aiden plays the role of a young transgender who tries to be himself despite the hostility of his father in the music video.

 04 (+ 6) : Sam Tsui - Cameo (LW: 10 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 04)

Finally, a new original song!

 05 (+ 1) : Kevin Chomat - Sens Interdit (LW: 06 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

This new single of the French singer reached the top 10 YouTube trending in France. Taken from the album "Ma boussole".

 06 (- 2) : P!nk - What About Us (LW: 04 / WO: 12 / PEAK: 01 (x3))

The music video includes audio contents from the tragic events in Charlottesville for denouncing the hate speeches from the supremacist movements, and shows several people dancing under the intimidating eye of the authorities, including two men together.

 07 (- 6) : Mr John - Neon (LW: 01 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 01 (x1))

Instead of covers, this time, the Brazilian singer delivers an original song.

 08 (+ 17) : GAREK - Stray (LW: 25 / WO: 56 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

The single taken from the album "Take the King" is a conversation with his 8-year-old self about accepting who he is, the talk he wishes he had as a child, because he "spent so many years hating [himself] because [he] listened to the voices around [him] saying that people like [him] were disgusting".

 09 (+ 5) : Leon Else - What I Won't Do (Lyric Video) (LW: 14 / WO: 22 / PEAK: 02)

The British singer has came out on Facebook last May.

 10 (+ 18) : Alvin Point - Il a dit (LW: 28 / WO: 59 / PEAK: 01 (x4))

The first single of the French singer is talking about a romantic gay love story. The title means "he said".

 11 (- 3) : ILY - Your Love (LW: 08 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 07)

Two new brides are kissing in this Swedish music video.

 12 (+ 19) : Bobby Newberry - Up (LW: 31 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 12)

 13 (+ 19) : Neon Trees - Feel Good (LW: 32 / WO: 13 / PEAK: 10)

After a break for his first solo album "Excommunication", Tyler Glenn goes back with his band for a new song.

 14 (+ 7) : Michele Bravi - Diamanti (LW: 21 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 06)

This is the third single from the Italian singer taken from the album “Anime Di Carta”.

 15 (NEW) : Michele Bravi - Tanto Per Cominciare (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 15)

 16 (NEW) : Myckael SG - John vs Angela (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 16)

 17 (-12) : Madblush - My Radio (LW: 05 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 05)

Taken from the album "Cactus".

 18 (NEW) : PJ Brennan - Tease (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 18)

PJ Brennan is well known for his role as Doug Carter in the British television soap opera Hollyoaks.

 19 (- 2) : Lizzo - Good As Hell (LW: 17 / WO: 48 / PEAK: 02)

This is taken from the EP "Coconut Oil".

 20 (+ 2) : LP - No Witness (LW: 22 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 18)

This is the sixth single taken from the album "Lost on You".

 21 (- 10) : Cub Sport - Chasin' (LW: 11 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 11)

This is the second single of the album "Bats" from the Australian band.

 22 (- 7) : Superfruit - GUY.EXE (LW: 15 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 15)

Mitch is a new doctor Frankenstein who tries to create the perfect boyfriend. Really funny.

 23 (NEW) : Milck - Quiet (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 23)

This song participates to the "Me Too" movement about sexual assaults protestations since the Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey scandals. The music video features singer’s friends and sexual assault survivors and includes a transgender storyline.

 24 (- 15) : Steps - Dancing With A Broken Heart (LW: 09 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 09)

The British band will be on Tour this month.

 25 (NEW) : Yann - Igual (Rio Pride/Parada do Orgulho LGBTI do Rio de Janeiro) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 25)

This video is dedicated to the 343 LGBTI+ people killed by hate crimes in Brazil in 2016. Artists from all over the world sent their support to Brazil's LGBTI+ population. All the proceeds will go to the NGO Grupo Arco-Íris.

 26 (+ 7) : Alfie Arcuri - Love is Love (LW: 33 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 19)

The Australian singer takes position with this song for the YES in the same-sex marriage survey to legiferate about marriage equality in Australia. With 78,5% of participation, polls says that 64% of the voters have said yes to marriage equality. Final official results will be revealed on 15 November.

 27 (+ 15) : La Prohibida - Baloncesto (LW: 42 / WO: 16 / PEAK: 03)

 28 (- 9) : Oscar and the Wolf - Runaway (LW: 19 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 19)

Max Colombie,aka Oscar and the Wolf, is an out singer. Billboard has included this track in their top 30 gay love songs last October.

 29 (NEW) : Pussy Riot - Police State (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 29)

 30 (NEW) : Brian Justin Crum - Wild Side (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30)

 31 (- 18) : Hayley Kiyoko - Feelings (LW: 13 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 04)

The singer flirts with another woman while she’s dancing in her new music video.

 32 (NEW) : Tim Treffers - Hold on (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 32)

 33 (NEW) : Sufjan Stevens - Mystery of Love ("Call Me By Your Name" OST) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 33)

 34 (NEW) : Alaska Thunderfuck - Come To Brazil (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 34)

 35 (- 23) : Kevin Chomat - Un homme à terre (LW: 12 / WO: 40 / PEAK: 01 (x3))

In this single, the French singer is talking about infidelity, with his boyfriend who cheated on him.

 36 (NEW) : Sam & Sky - Skammens Diskotek (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 36)

"Skammens Diskotek" (The Discotheque of Shame) was Norway's Gay Pride Song for 2017 - In collaboration with FRI - Foreningen for kjønns- og seksualitetsmangfold.

 37 (- 8) : Smashby - Birthday Suit (LW: 29 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 29)

This is the first original song of the British singer.

 38 (NEW) : Trey Pearson - The Good Grief [Official Lyric Video] (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 38)

 39 (- 4) : Сергей Лазарев / Sergey Lazarev - Так красиво / So Beautiful (LW: 35 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 15)

The new music video about love of the famous Russian singer represents several couples, including a lesbian couple. Some politicians wants to censor it in Russia.

 40 (NEW) : G&D (Geez & DIK) - Freelove (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40)

There are several straight, gay, lesbian and bi couples making love in this music video.

 41 (NEW) : Jimena Barón - QLO (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

 42 (RE-ENTRY) : Tokio Hotel - Boy Don't Cry (LW: - / WO: 3 / PEAK: 18)

The lead singer Bill Kaulitz becomes a beautiful drag queen in the new music video of the German band.

 43 (NEW) : Acrush 组合 单曲 - I'm Sorry (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 43)

This is the new track of the androgynous Chinese band.

 44 (- 20) : Namuel - Joven de Corazón (LW: 24 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 24)

The new track of the Chilean singer.

 45 (NEW) : 희철 HEECHUL and 민경훈 Min Kyung-Hoon - 나비잠 (Sweet Dream) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 45)

We are ashamed of missing this South Korean music video last year. This kpop MV shows a love triangle with Heechul who loves Momo who prefers Min Kyung-Hoon who loves his friend Heechul. The twist at the end is reminiscent of the classic and iconic gay themed kpop MV "Please Don't" from K.Will.

 46 (- 2) : Larva - For Ruy (censored version) (LW: 44 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 39)

Larva is a Mexican openly gay heavy metal band. The uncensored version, only for adults because of its raw sex content, is now also available on YouTube.

 47 (+ 3) : Eddy de Pretto - Fête de trop (LW: 50 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 47)

His two tracks "Fête de trop" and "Kid" have just entered in the French singles chart.

 48 (NEW) : Kurt Hugo Schneider feat. Sam Tsui & Michael Constantino - Evolution of Boy Bands MASHUP!! (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 48)

 49 (- 1) : Lycinaïs Jean - Je veux rester (LW: 48 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 48)

A new track from the out singer from the French caribbean island of Guadeloupe. Her first album "L’Arc en ciel" has just came out, but this single isn’t in it.

 50 (NEW) : Ricky Rebel - Time (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 50)

  ALSO NEW THIS WEEK

 Keko - Let Me Go

The Ugandan rapper moved to Canada and came out as gay on Twitter after she had the Canadian citizenship last October. Homosexuality can be punished by prison for life in Uganda.

 Candy Ken - Lollipop (ПОП ПОП ПОП ЛОЛИПОП)

 Adam Joseph feat. Peppermint - Thirsty

 Preta Gil feat. Gal Costa - Vá Se Benzer

 Uncle Meg & John Debt - Winning It Or Losing It

 Mademoiselle K - SICK

 Christoff - Door Jou (Nieuw Geluk)

This is the new single of the Belgian Flemish schlager singer.

 KLUBBB3 - Das Leben tanzt Sirtaki

The new track of the schlager band with Flemish member Christoff.

 Storm3 - Lost Another Chance

 Citizen Four - My Name (Say It)

 Dyan Tai - Up in the Air

 Dannii Minogue - Galaxy

She's back after ten years of break with a song composed by Sia.

 Superfruit feat. Amber Liu - Fantasy

 Sharon Needles - Andy Warhol Is Dead

 Jeremy Gloff - Gonna Be Alright

 Silvino - Lacre In Tristeza (Lyric vídeo)

 Casey Breves - I’ll Sing To You

 Mandy Rich with Frida Winlöf - Regnbågarnas Stad (audio)

Mandy Rich is the first transgender rapper from Sweden.

 Eli Lieb - Until You’ve Fallen Down (audio)

 P!nk - Barbies (Audio)

 Sia - Snowman

 Bright Light Bright Light & Nerina Pallot - Put A Little Love In Your Heart (cover)

This charity single will raise money for Neath Port Talbot Hospital's Elderly Day Care ward in Wales.

 Miley Cyrus - Bad Mood (Live at SNL)

 Miley Cyrus - I Would Die For You (Live at SNL)

 Les Funambules - Nos Différences (Live @ Studio Hébertot)

Stéphane Corbin, initiator of the musical project Les Funambules against homophobia, has received the Tolerantia Award 2017 in Warsow. Les Funambulles will be in concert every Monday in Paris next November and December 2017.

 Travis Atreo and Colton Haynes - Craving You (Cover)

 林欣甫 MaxLin -《無法拒絕的長大》( "深藍與月光" Dark Blue and Moonlight" theme song)

This is the theme song of a new Taiwanese boy love webseries called "深藍與月光 Dark Blue and Moonlight".

   See you next week and don’t forget to vote for your best LGBTQA music videos ! Here are the rules :

1 ) You can vote for many videos as you want under the videos on YouTube in the comment section. It could be recent or past music videos, which must provide at least one among the following conditions:

- the music video has LGBTQA related content, in the lyrics or the music video

- the artist is LGBTQA, an LGBTQA icon or eventually ally

- LGBTQA medias talked about it.

2 ) You can’t vote more than 3 songs of a same artist per week.

3 ) In case of an artist who receive votes mostly by a fan base, we will count only one song, in a limited time of 10 weeks of presence in the top.

4 ) You can vote with only one account.

5 ) If you make 5 votes or less, your first vote will represent 5 points, your second vote 4 points, etc… until your last vote and following 1 point. If you make 6 to 10 votes, your first vote will represent 10 points, your second vote 9 points, etc… If you make more than 10 votes, your first vote will represent 20 points, your second vote 19 points, etc…

6 ) People who make 1 to 5 votes form the amateur ranking, those who make 6 to 10 votes form the fan ranking, those who make more than 10 votes form the expert ranking. We form the jury ranking. And we count now the ranking of minutes of views of our weekly playlist of the previous week. The Gay Music Chart is the addition of the five charts. In case of equality, the number of votes and the dates of votes will count.

7 ) The votes will close on Thursday, 8 PM, European time.

#gayMusicChart #gay #music #chart #top #singles #videos #LGBT #queer #lesbian #transgender #bisexual #drag queen #2017 week 46

[rejectedspades]

So maybe he'll understand.

Not that you ever look at my Tumblr, but here's why.

Please understand to anyone who does see this, accept the fact this will be sloppy, I am by far not the best writer. However, without further ado, here is my dreadful life story. (Which I am going to regret putting up online about 10 minutes after I do)

I must go back before I was born to my sister's day of birth. See, my sister was overdue for and entire month. Yes a full 31 days. Why the doctors didn't force her out, I have no clue. When she did come out she was pissed. She really liked my mother's baby making insides. She had decided if she was coming out so where my mother's insides. My mother had a prolapsed uterus. I don't really know what that means but oh well 🙃. But the doctor told her she wasn't going to have any kids after that.

846 days later (2 years, 3 months, and 26 days)

I, the flower goddess was born.

August 29th, 2001

I was born two days late, not really that bad. My sister by far won that competition. However, there was nothing off about the day I was born. I mean except for the fact that my father left half way through to go be with my younger sisters mother. He did come back...two days later to sign the birth certificate and left again.

I don't remember my baby days, of course, so I'm just gonna spit out random facts about what I remember and what I was told.

~i was potty trained a little before I was 2

~i could walk at 1 year and 3 months

~i cried over everything till I was like 10

~my father was abusive and strangled my mother in a parking lot with me in her arms.

~my first word was "mawmaa" as in Mama

~ I hated yams

~i had Mongolian Spots till I was 6! Baby's lose those withing there first year maybe 2. The school thought my family beat on me, so I had to come in with a month doctor's note.

~my father stalked my mom, sister and I till we moved to Alabama.

Oh? That last one? Yeah all I remember about Alabama was we lived in a house and I had a cat (that was all mine!), Who had 16 kittens before we moved back to Tennessee.

(I don't remember a lot of my childhood because I was hit by a car so sorry if this doesn't have a lot)

We had moved into my grandparents when we got back. We ate a lot of Chinese food which is probably why it's my favorite. Growing up I was freaky skinny. To the point where my mother called me her little Ethiopian baby. If you don't get the picture I'll try and help. I was really dark because I used to stay outside in the sun. When I poked out my stomach I looked like I was fed even though you could still see my ribcage, my elbows and knees where bigger than my actual arms and legs. You could see every bone in my body. But I ate so much food! I don't get it. Oh! And I had long hair,(that I miss very much) I mean down to my ass long.

You see I started gaining weight like crazy when I was about 7ish and my outy belly button turned to an inny. And I started looking like I ate food. And my weight was healthy. My grandmother took thinking shears to my scalp in random spots so my hair grew uneven, till I had to get it cut.

When I was nine I started middle School. Which was shit! I got made fun of because of my southern accent in a really trash school. Everyone was either rude or freaky racist, and as a little mixed girl I couldn't avoid it.

In sixth grade I had this best friend named Hannah. We hung out every weekend and she was really pretty. I was the ugly friend by far. And sooner or later my attraction for Hannah got stronger. I had slowly but surely started to realize I liked females. Hannah was beautiful in everyway. She was the only person at that school that didn't judge me, but I was to scared to even come out to her. Hannah got a boyfriend named Caleb a few months later after my discovery. He hated me. Hannah started to drift away from me and our friendship split after an argument. Her boyfriend had said something about me not having my father and told me to "get over it because he's not coming back." How did he know about my father? Because Hannah told him. This caused a huge argument at the lunch table one day and I a little 10-year-old, with huge glasses and braces stood up and beat the absolute shit out of this kid who was an entire head taller than me, than Hannah called me a bitch and made me cry. I got suspended and Caleb got a black eye and a kiss from Hannah. Do I regret it? LMAO FUCK NO!

Seventh grade, I met one of my best friends named Jessica. Me and her snuck out at her house once and than we weren't allowed to hang out outside of school anymore. Which never stopped us. We met up at the park across from her house every once and a while. She was the first one I came out to, but we kept our friendship inside school to keep her from getting in trouble.

Skip forward to 8th grade. I got kicked off the track team for fighting. And I was out as bisexual to all of my friends. Jessica and I started hanging out after her evil step mother granted us permission. I had a crush on Jessica but she was dating one of my friends that I've known since 2nd grade. They were cute and I was happy for them so I wasn't angry and Raffeal or Jessica for it. I drifted from the group though and fell in with the wrong crowd. I skipped school and started smoking cigarettes. I got kicked out of my house for about 3 months and moved in with a "friend" named Alex. I started selling pills and weed, and soon became addicted to Xanax.

Let me tell you about the ground I was in. Hanna, (not the 6th grade Hannah, this is Hanna without an extra H) Hanna was beat on by her father and her mom was in jail for drugs and shit. Next Alex he was a junky enough said, this one kid named Mac who really liked cars and smoked crack with his pot. Trey who fucked almost everyone. Jacob who was an atheist and put cigarettes out on his wrist. And me, but you guys know me by now. There was this one guy that was in our little group. His name was Eric. He was always flirted with me. We got together on my 13th birthday. He was 16 btw. Me and him hung out alot without the others. He was creepy though. He was obsessive. I had to cut it off with him, even though I did he never stopped. To this day I wish he knew what it felt like to be me. To this fucking day I want to know I made that boy cry. Eric. He made me cry so many nights.

I'm going to try my hardest to tell you why he makes me so emotional without getting emotional. Eric, had began to stalk me. Sometimes he made himself know other times he didn't. He would come to my window at nights an tap on it (heads up I jumped a little ahead to when I moved back in with my mom, he was there before and after I had. So like so there's no confusion.) One night he came just to tell me how much I was going to miss him. He left me letters in my mailbox. Telling me how he was gonna beat my ass next time he saw me in public. He told me he was going to "abuse my body" after the first couple I texted Hanna I asked if she would come and stay with me a few nights. Of course she took me up on that offer because she hated being home. I had showed her the letters and she told Alex. Alex and I had but heads alot but he was like a brother. He let me live with him for fuck sake. I trusted him. Mac, Trey, and, Alex had gone up to his house one night. Hanna and I went too. We waited out side as the guys had went around back. Jacob was in his car. He told Hanna and I to get in but we didn't. We heard a loud thud and the guys came walking back around and they had some ropes in their hands and those things that hold things together that I think are called jumper cables but I don't think so. They told us to get in the car and wait and that they would be out in about 15 minutes once they found an opening. We did and we kept ourselves busy. We talked about Hanna and Alex's weird relationship. To this day I have no clue what the hell they where. A little while goes by I have no clue how long but they came back out . They where laughing and had the ropes and things with them with them. I asked why they still had them and they said, "we wanted to be like spy's...plus we need them cause we have none" I started laughing so hard.

Now now now before you assume what they did they went in the shed and stole his shit then put tape on Eric's window and broke it so it wouldn't make a lot of noise. I had thought they just opened it cause I had no clue they had duct tape. But they went in and beat the living shit out of Eric. It made me happy, yes. But I didn't get the last laugh.

June 19th, the worst year of my life

I thought it was all good and so I went on a walk. Eric was sitting on these bricks on a road called "stone hedge" and he waited for me to pass on the opposite side of the street. He started following me and so I walked up to a park up from my house.and when I got tho the play ground I dropped a book I was holding and my phone. I turned around and screamed at him to go away and leave me alone. He stopped walking for like 2 seconds before he took off running after me. In panic I picked up my phone and started running. I tried calling Alex but I couldn't see anything because I was crying hard as fuck. I turned and threw my phone at him. I didn't bother watching where it went but there was a hill at the end of the park I had slid down it before standing up again and running twards the train tracks he had caught up to me though.

I screamed as loud as I could for help but he punched me than again and again till all I could do was beg he than grabbed me by my arm and slung me over off the gravel and in the grass.

This part is very graphic so I am sorry but please scroll to the next paragraph if you are sensitive or get triggered by assault I am very sorry -AND.

As I type this crying in my garage I want to say that it's okay. If something ever happens to you than I'm sorry. Tell someone and don't make the same mistake I did. Eric had pulled me into a creek at the back of the park and fought me to get my pants off after he won that fight he pressed his knee onto my chest making it hard for me to breath he unbutton his pants and I fought as hard as I could I swear I did everything in my might to stop him but I failed. As he did what he said he would and took advantage of my body he called me a whore.

If you know what it's like to want to be anywhere else except for where you are in that moment what it's like to feel dirty no matter how many times you shower. What it's like to bruised in places no one ever should be bruised than im sorry. I can say I understand and if you ever need anyone to talk to send me a message or please call 1 800-656-4673 it's the national sexual assault hotline and they are available 24/7. Please do not hesitate to call.

When I moved back in with my mother I didn't stop taking Xanax In 9th grade she put me in a private school. I got assaulted by a teacher after she threw me in the parking lot of the school. I was drugged out one night high as a kite and had gotten in an argument I had strangled my mother that night and afterwards I swallowed 73 pills from the medicine cabinet in her bathroom. I felt the worse I have ever felt in my life. I regret what I did to my mother. I wasn't myself. I went to Vanderbilt psychiatric hospital. I stayed there for 34 days working on myself and getting cleaned up. I spent my summer there and at home. It wasn't the best.

The next year I went back to public school. I mad new friends and was doing good. I made good grades and don't let my past get to me. That was before I got into my first real relationship. His name was Sian. We where together for about 5 months before I could t take anymore. He was sweet at first soon he became abusive verbally, sexually, and physically. I got depressed again but I told myself I wasn't going to fall back into it. On New year's the next year I met this guy and he was Everything I could ask for. His name was Nate we didn't jump into a relationship asap. But he helped me get batter after Sian and made me happy. Sooner or later we go together and we Sayed together for a year. I had broken up with him two days ago and I miss him horribly it hurts like crazy. But it wasn't the same. We argued a lot and drove each other crazy and the love wasn't there as it used to be.

Now I'm here. With you. And with my life story. I hope this helps. Maybe now you understand. That yes I am clingy, but because I need someone right now because I just lost my high school sweet heart that I had plans with after graduation next year. And yes I do get sad, because I get lost in my past. And yes I do get over emotional because I can't stand being in this planet anymore. But I'm done being sorry for it. And I'm tired of feeling this way. My mental health I'd not an excuse it's a blockade from me being happy because I've been damaged in more ways but one. But im still here for something. So can you understand now? I'm this way for a reason. But I'm not broken and I can still smile. I'm not helpless so stop treating me like I am. I'm fragile as fuck but it doesn't mean that you can't play with me. And I love you but you don't have to say it back if you don't feel the same way. It's not gonna kill me if you're honest. Just don't look at me different. It's hard for me to tell you this, so I'm telling everyone this.

So thank you for listening. But as of right now I'm fine. I'm happy for the most part. I'm doing okay. And my past will never justify me. So don't see me different.

~∆.N.D.