#sorry not sorry i’m sharing personal details abt my life now

[jesuistrestriste]

i unfortunately had a slightly embarrassing hookup last night! but! he whimpered when i kissed his neck so. i win.

#tell me why he said “i’m gonna nut soon” #WHO SAYS THAT #JUST SAY COME #like what #i laughed #sorry not sorry i’m sharing personal details abt my life now #my lil anecdotes

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

#ask #I'm not afraid to admit that my fondness for dio is entirely contingent on things I made up about him in my head over the years. #there's a draft here filled with thousands of words about him that I started writing up in response to some ask I got earlier this year #but I never finished it... :( and I also never posted the dozens and dozens of pictures I frenetically drew of him either. maybe someday #on another note: I did my yearly reread of johnny the other month. I'll do something big with him one day but this year is not the year #similarly sasha answers in the queue. I'm glad you enjoyed psychonauts it's one of the greatest games ever visually and re: gameplay. etc #lucy art

[artsyturtle16]

A Potentially Plausible(?) Luz Palisman Theory (for fun)

Okay so a while back I fell down a rabbit hole while researching will-o’-wisps and I came across “Boitatá”, a creature from primarily Brazilian mythology whose legend was inspired by the same phenomenon as the Wil-o’-the-wisp, and I think it would make a really cool palisman for Luz. With Season 3 now having an official release date only a month away, I thought it was about time I shared this little thought.

(Under a cut bcuz it’s a lil long, I tried my best to summarize tho ;-;. Also MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE S2 FINALE)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small note: Ik the snake palisman theory doesn’t have a lot of evidence, but since we’re dealing with a flaming serpent just consider this an extension of that. Also plz tell me if I got smthn wrong abt Boitatá, I only found info through research, not personal experience so I’m really sorry if I anything is inaccurate!

To start, a quick explanation of Boitatá’s legend, and the ways it reminds me of TOH (there are a few versions of the story with slightly different details, but they still convey the same overall idea. So, for the purposes of this, I’ll use the version that I thought fits with Owl House the best.):

The story tells of a flood sent to wipe out the inhabitants of a forest, covering it in darkness. Some of the animals from the forest fled to a high-up cave to escape and wait for the flood to pass. Among them was a snake who had always lived in caves, and was the only creature in the group who could see in the dark. It took advantage of this to attack the rest of the animals (as well as the bodies left in the forest after the flood had passed) and eat its favourite treat: their eyes. Eventually, the snake had eaten so many eyes that the light in them made its own shine as bright as suns, and its body burst into flames. Now it roams the forests and fields at night, protecting the land and the animals within from poachers and other humans who wish to do harm.

Tbh I think that’s such a badass story I love it sm. But also the setting kiiinda mimics where we left off after King’s Tide. Luz, who lived most of her life in the human realm, has fled back to it with her witch friends after the draining spell was cast to wipe out everyone in the Boiling Isles. Just like the animals used to living in the light were suddenly trapped in darkness, the witches used to living in a world that was practically made of magic are now trapped in one where it doesn’t even exist.

A few other little points:

“Luz Noceda” translates to ‘night light’ in Spanish, which is similar to a lot of nicknames for wil-o’-wisps and the other myths based on the same phenomenon. “ghost light”, “spook light”, and the Argentinian/Uruguayan version “Luz Mala”, to name a few. She also has a big connection to light in the fact that it was the very first spell she learned, so having a palisman tied to all of that would be fitting.

Super dumb addition but, the whole “sweet potato” thing. Like, the only time it was said in spanish was when Amity used it to refer to Luz. So I just think it’d b kinda funny if the girl who got referred to as “batata” had “Boitatá” as a palisman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, that’s kinda all I’ve got, I know it’s not a lot and is kind of a reach(tbh I’m personally a bat palisman believer) but it’s just smthn I enjoyed thinking abt. If you read this far just woah, thanks a lot for offering me a bit of your time, that’s super cool of you! And I wish you safety and lots of tissue boxes in preparation for season three :,)

#sorry this is so long I tried my best to shorten it ;-; #also horrendously formatted #toh #the owl house #luz palisman #toh theory #toh theories #toh s3 #toh s2 #never shared a theory before kinda scared ngl

[tootyfruities]

answering earlier than expected bc of a random burst of energy? couldn’t be me 🤭 nah but i actually feel kinda sad™️ rn and u make me feel better so here i am 🤞but OMGKEJFJWBFHE WHERE DO I EVEN BEGINNNNN

youcore fr bc you’re so smart and cool bae ugh your mind is everything OMGMGMGMM you got me wanting to jump through the screen to gently hold shin but also gently hold you bc KDNSJDDKDN the storyline fits so well and like,,,, suits him if that makes sense???? i’m absolutely HERE for this letter writing arc and im so fuckin excited you have no idea <3 <3 <3 (might inspire to make more playlists too, just for u <3) even despite all this, I can still feel his dorky and soft self and I JUST

there’s this cute comic from @/loweater of toshi using asl w bakugou and eri and if i can find it i’ll tag you :) OH and his dad being his therapist and all the other details about his family wE LOVE TO SEE IT 🗣🗣🗣 (this moreso relates back to the blog which we’re gonna get into- but i remember you writing abt his (3?)pet cats so just a little idea there for u :>)

last thing darling!! please please please don’t feel pressured to reopen that blog or talk to me constantly. getting a little more personal in 3, 2, 1~ for the longest time when u took your hiatus, i felt so bad and guilty bc I thought I was the reason and I took so much of your time and energy and I admit and apologize for being way more emotionally dependent than I should’ve been. things have changed now and im doing a lot better! i love and care for u vv much so pls don’t beat yourself up over it ok <3

wait no sorry THIS is the last thing I swear 😭 i was actually gonna msg u a couple days ago bc i actually had a dream abt the voicemail thing- long story short,,,,, i think i called shin back the next day, we said hello and i unexpectedly (to him anyway) asked him a question abt his new pet fish…??? OK before u think i’m crazy;;; i think it was smth that he had rambled abt in the voicemail and i was asking abt it just to talk and exist freely before getting into the Other Much Needed To Be Discussed Topics.

okay i went like way overboard im sorry 💀 ily forever my darling mwah <3

I NEVER GOT THE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS IM SO SAD :(

UHM 1) i hope you're ok w me answering this publicly w the more personal info shared, if not lemme know and i will, idk delete this post? that being said! between my own terrible unmotivation and personal issues, plus yes maybe a little bit with the emotional dependence, it just felt hard to keep up with the blog. but you were never, ever ever ever, a Big Bad in my life, never. overwhelming sometimes, yeah(BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, OUR FLAWS MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER). but when i made the decision to close the blog it was not "riri makes things hard :(" it was, "things are hard and i gotta focus on myself :(". i appreciate and abs accept your apology though you are so cool and i am so so happy knowing that you're doing better <3

a bit of an extension on that;; i'm still deciding whether i wanna reopen the blog tbh. i've got a couple wips on there that i meant to finish but never did, plus small storylines i wanted to pursue thru shin's blogs that i can't exactly emulate thru I Am An Author Writing a Thing when it should be This Is A Guy Writing Stuff On His Tumblr Blog. plus publicly posting my writing is so rewarding to me :}

2) PLEASE DO JUMP THRU THE SCREEN and gently hold me n shin - woahoah we would both love that methinks. grrrr. i love you so much riri. no amount of poetic words can convey how much i love and adore you TRULY. you are a light in my life, i am happy and ready to have room in my life for you again :) <3

3) YOU DREAMED ABT IT AJFNNE. shin getting a fish... that would def clash with his, yes, 3 kitty cats. but also a calm pet that doesn't require love and affection? holy crap i shoulda considered it, that'd be way fitting for them,,, if not for the fact that fish are Slimy and shin likes Fluffy. in an alternate world where cats hadn't already stolen their heart, i can easily imagine shin getting into fish and maybe even lizards. he's got the range~

idk if i'm exactly gonna write what was said in the voicemail cos i wanted to leave that up to your interpretation, and tbh i'm GLAD for that cos your interpretation is great. muahaha

ilyilyily going to check out the mecore link now muah <3

#riri tag omg

[troglobite]

my friend of 16 years bailed on me with no warning and no explanation

i got no sleep last night/this morning & i msged her almost an hour ahead of time like “hey i’m sorry i got no sleep, i probably can’t talk for long”

no response

11 am comes

she hasn’t sent me a zoom link or even replied

i msg again

“are you still up for talking today? i dont’ think i have zoom anymore, but i can try if it’s not working for you?”

checking in and giving her an out

20 full minutes late she just says “hey hey” and we can postpone for me, if that works.

then disappears.

i ask “is everything okay”

1.5 hrs later, while i’m trying to sleep, she finally replies

“umm.....they’re okay. not at my best. excuse me for exiting our conversation.”

like a fucking formal fucking office email

after i’ve spent MONTHS talking w her abt her life and everything going on 

i had to get up early

i figured it would be rude or too last minute to cancel bc i was sleep deprived and miserable

looks like i didn’t need to worry about THAT

bc she shows up LATE and with NO WARNING OR EXPLANATION just bails

of course i’m worried abt what happened

but i don’t get any of the same courtesy so i’m not going to ask

i’m not going to fucking pull teeth to get an answer from her like it’s some game where i have to prove that i care, over and over and over again, to convince her to share important things w me THAT SHE WANTS TO SHARE ANYWAY

and she’s just. so out of touch w my life. 

just what’s the fucking point. i can’t be responsible for her fucking life and feelings like this. and i wasn’t trying to be.

but i guess at this point i have to let her fuck up and make terrible mistakes and deal w and learn from the consequences on her own

even though she won’t

bc she’ll just use them to punish herself and justify even worse choices and mistakes

and will probably bail on looking for a therapist even though she wants and needs one desperately

it was 8 pm for her

we had last checked in around 11 or 12 her time, no news that we couldn’t meet.

i could’ve woken up to a msg from her that she wasn’t up to meeting today.

but instead, no.

i have to sit here, eyes puffy, brain scrambled, feeling like garbage, waiting to hear back from her lest she just have been stuck in traffic, or dealing w wifi, or can’t get zoom to work.

and now instead i have to worry abt wtf happened bc she refuses to talk to me and be honest w me. why? i don’t fucking know.

and i’m tired.

i’m so so so fucking tired. of all of this.

i’m so tired of ppl canceling plans and bailing last fucking minute when they KNEW ahead of time that they wouldn’t or couldn’t make it or be up for it. 

i have to change things around in my brain and my day to meet w ppl most of the time and when they can’t or don’t stick to it or bail at the last fucking minute it’s just fucking exhausting. and it hurts.

why am i not worth this courtesy when i repeatedly communicate abt how much i want and need a heads up for ALL THINGS?

“it’s not abt you, they have shit going on”

i still communicate when i have shit going on, to the best of my ability. or i show up bc i said i would and do my best bc i want to have fun w friends. 

and also why is it everybody i know and every fucking time, then? if it has nothing to do w me. then why?

i’ve even said repeatedly to ppl “it’s fine if you don’t think you can or want to join anymore, just give me/us a heads up so i/we know! no worries no hard feelings.”

and still.

and i’m tired of having to be the person to be the training wheels to teach them basic fucking lessons like this. i get that it’s hard, for a lot of reasons. i get that sometimes, there genuinely is just no time to warn, or it really does slip their mind. but ALL THE TIME with EVERYONE I KNOW????? 

and--NOT telling me something makes me WAY ANGRIER (read: more actively hurt and frustrated) than simply TELLING ME HOW YOU FEEL! i don’t even need the details! just give me the COURTESY of not having to wake up early, shift my day around, and get my brain set up and prepared for something that’s not going to happen. 

i’m tired i’m tired i’m fucking tired 

i don’t want to be the only one trying in every fucking relationship i have

“every”

a handful

fewer than two hands’ worth

and if i stop trying then the relationships will just fall apart

i don’t think it’s a coincidence that my friend has been talking to me more lately, over the last several months. bc she’s been dealing w the split from her (terrible, manipulative, bigoted, abusive) ex girlfriend, and figuring out a new relationship w this (seemingly much better) woman. 

talking w me hasn’t been bc she wants to keep our friendship more lively and active, i guess. it’s bc for whatever reason, i’m the only one who will “put up” w incessant talks abt this. and accept getting nothing in return. 

she “tried” to be there for me when i was hurt and scared, and she fucked up so bad it was like she had no idea who i was or what was even going on, or how to talk to a person.

she has a million friends, including other ones from middle and high school like me who are more important. she knows how to talk like a person and be a good friend. just. not w me, i guess. 

all i am is support for the ppl i think are my friends. i’m funny and i do things for them. and if i’m not succeeding at either of those then. well. who cares abt me?

idk what broke in my brain last night trying to sleep. i just feel more instantaneously depressed than i have in a few weeks, i guess. 

meanwhile it’s beautiful out today and here i am laying in bed at almost 2 pm w my curtains closed, needing to shower. 

it’s not fair.

fuck all of this shit. it’s not fair. 

[iraprince]

this might not be something you personally have difficulty with, but i was recently diagnosed with severe adhd and i was wondering if you had any tips regarding just like….drawing?? i have such a hard time getting started even though i usually end up feeling pretty stoked and happy with my work if i manage to get something down. i used to draw constantly as a kid to help me focus in class, but in my adult life i just feel like there are so many invisible barriers between myself and putting pencil to paper. i’m sure there are a lot of perfectionism issues involved as well, so i guess just any sort of advice in any of those areas would be greatly appreciated! your work is fantastic and i’m really grateful that you share adhd stuff as well!! have a great day! :o)

i actually have a LOT of difficulty with this -- i have more difficulty than i have advice, probably! but my advice always ends up boiling down to the same thing lately, and it sounds really hokey but i mean it as literally as possible bc it's the only thing that consistently works for me: be fucking nice to yourself!

for a long time the only solution i had to being Inexplicably Unable To Do Something was to yell at myself, bully myself, assume that i wasn't trying hard enough, and end up a miserable little ball of confusion and frustration. it was def worse before i was diagnosed, but it's definitely not gone (sometimes "i don't know why i can't just do it!" just gets replaced with "well, i know what the problem is, so why can't i find a way around it?!"). and after many many years of experience with the bullying reaction vs a much shorter time comparing this reaction to other, kinder approaches, i can say with a lot of confidence that handling it with internal yelling and shaming doesn't work, straight up. it's not helpful, and most of the time it makes things worse -- even if you manage to force yourself to complete a task once or twice like this, it's too exhausting and demoralizing to be sustainable. so, while you haven't mentioned frustration in your question, that's still where my mind goes as a first step: if you're experiencing distress or anger or embarrassment over running into those barriers over and over again, the first step is practicing being calm and forgiving, not immediately trying to find a way around it. once you hit the wall and you find you can calmly go "oh, okay! this isn't working. let's figure out why" instead of immediately launching into "what the fuck is WRONG with me????", finding solutions is a lot easier.

the times i've surprised myself by having things just suddenly Flow after a long period of struggling are usually brought about by a ton of excitement and enthusiasm! i get really into a rarepair and i'm gripped with the need to make my own content, or i make a new oc who i really love, or i get back into a piece of media i haven't touched in a while and get all charged up with excitement. you gotta feed the tank to make stuff, so setting time aside to consume stuff that inspires and excites you is just as important as setting the time aside to actually sit down and try to draw.

another thing that has helped me is trying to be really purposeful abt reminding myself WHY i draw; sometimes, especially since it's my job, the images i'm supposed to be making just turn into this big featureless stack of Tasks instead of me really thinking about + appreciating what i do and why i love it. when i'm in a rut with commissions, for example, sometimes before i even try to start working (or if i HAVE tried to start and it's just not happening), i stop and sit down with the wips and really LOOK at them. i go through them one at a time and point out things i like about them or what i'm looking forward to doing: "the pose came out so good on the first try and i want to see what it'll look like finished," or "detailing all this hair is going to be so fun and relaxing." when you get so caught up in the constant repeated thought of "i just want to DO something, i want to DRAW," especially when it's been days or weeks or months where you can't, i think you can unconsciously start replacing "i want to draw because it's fun and i like what i make" with "i want to draw because i keep failing to and i just want to prove i can still do it," and for me the latter thought is usually way more distressing than it is motivating.

and finally, a failsafe: sometimes, when i can remember to do it, my secret weapon is counting down at myself for the tiniest steps possible. like i'll literally say out loud, "on the count of five, i'm going to stand up and go get my sketchbook. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...." it has to be out loud and i think the reason it works is because like. if you say it out loud, reach five, and you don't do it, you feel astronomically goofy??? and then i just go from there: "on the count of 5, i'm going to find an empty page." "on the count of 5, i'm going to start sketching a head." it kind of forces through the executive dysfunction in a way i haven't really been able to replicate with anything else. it doesn't always work in a super meaningful way -- like, plenty of times i do like three steps and then i'm like "i hate this and i don't want to and i'm not gonna make anything good like this so i give up!" and then i just take the L for the afternoon. but when the "frozen in place, literally cannot stop just staring at the page" thing is the main issue, it might be enough of a push to get going!

as always here's me going "oh oop no i dont have a lot sorry" and then rambling for paragraphs and paragraphs but by now we should be used to that. good luck, and remember 2 be patient + nice :D

[lunaastoir]

Hi! I really enjoy your writing so is it alright if i request xiao, diluc, childe with an idol s/o where one of their old stalkers come back or they just recently had a stalker in general but with how busy they were since they’re an idol they don’t even notice? And something bad happens (i cant think of anything</3) Thank you very much !!

hi anon!! a million apologies since this is so late but i hope you like the fic <3

there also aren’t any explicit details for anything bad happening - i briefly touched on subjects that you may not have control over, i hope that’s ok! 

warning (?): struggled a bit on this prompt so i apologize in advance if this isn’t my best work LMAOO

gn! reader

tw: hints of assault, slight angst, very light abuse if you squint

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

now xiao is a very observant man but he's also extremely busy keeping liyue safe

he makes it a point to always come to your shows even if you don't actively see him bc he cares a lot abt you and he enjoys listening to your music ‼️

it's normal for him to sometimes get lost between his own world of demonslaying and the world he shares w you

so one night, he's hanging on the rafters of a house with the perfect view of your singing

everything goes smoothly, he sets his spear down while lightly swaying his head to the music

the concert ends and fans disperse after you say your farewells

a night like this is rare since for once, xiao can walk home w you back to the inn sweet boy really cleared out his schedule for you huh

you're unsurprised when you see him materialize next to you, opting to flash him a smile and a hello

his cheeks are lightly flushed as he crosses his arms before talking quietly about how well you did

he relishes in the wide smile you give him as a result of his praise and he lets the corners of his lips curve upwards slightly

the quiet bustle of the harbor seemed to slow down as the night grew longer

since this was a fairly large concert, you had boxes among boxes of equipment so xiao decided to make your life easier by quickly flying them to their appropriate locations

when he got back however, he was surprised to see you talking animatedly with someone

he didn't think anything was wrong until he saw the person trap you between the stage and words filtered into his ears

your back was painfully pressed against the stage wall as you defiantly met their gaze. after xiao had left, they had immediately come over to you: first introducing themselves as a fan and making amiable conversation, before divulging in personal details of your life that made your skin crawl. you weren’t helpless, you always had your weapon on hand regardless of whether you were performing or not. the way they pushed you against the wall however, made it near impossible to summon your sword should you need it. 

they leered down at you while balancing an arm against the wall next to your head. you had dealt with things like this before so you weren’t overly worried; you could defend yourself. you almost felt pity for the person in front of you as they asked for your number with a sadistic grin, disgusting words tumbling off of their lips. however, that was before you felt their cold fingers idly make their way to your stomach and you felt your breath hitch. oh no

the telltale sound of whooshing alerted you of xiao’s presence, and the press of the tip of his spear against their jugular brought you relief. 

“back away” he tightly growled while his golden eyes narrowed into slits. they stared at him in shock before holding their hands up and moving to step a foot away from you. 

“farther” he motioned with his spear before stepping in front of you as you attempted to collect yourself. 

“ok ok, i’m far away can you put your spear down now?” 

“no.” 

you mentally cursed as you watched the two of them glare at each other. this was supposed to be a carefree night but this unfortunate twist made the air thick with tension. you could feel the anger radiate off of xiao in waves and in an effort to deescalate the situation, you spoke. 

“i’m glad to meet such an...avid fan but i’m sorry the two of us must get going now” you hastily said before attempting to grab xiao’s hand and walk off past them. 

the next words had you halt your steps as they divulged their secret. 

words painted in careless arrogance with hints of violet overconfidence flew out of the person’s mouth - “judging from the weeks i’ve been following you, it didn’t seem like you had a boyfriend”

at the mere mention of prolonged stalking, xiao immediately lunged to pull you behind him. god, he didn’t kill mortals but he swore if he plunged his spear into this human being right here, no one would even blink twice considering how low of a person they were. 

“if i ever see you near them again, i will not hesitate to kill you. i won’t blink twice, i already have blood on my hands.” he ground out.

at the threat, the person grudgingly turned their back to you before leaving the two of you alone in the quiet harbor. 

you carefully reached a hand out to touch your boyfriend’s shoulder, but stopped after you saw the expression on his face. the mix of rage, sadness, and anguish imprinted his features as you watched his chest rapidly rise and fall - a result of his emotional battle. 

“i’m sorry i didn’t notice them before. i should’ve been paying more attention to you” he whispered before silently striding away from your grasp 

you knew that no matter how many reassurances you gave him about how, “it’s not your fault xiao, i didn’t notice them either” he would still blame himself. 

he was supposed to protect you right? so why couldn’t he sense the danger beforehand? what would’ve happened if he wasn’t there?

it’s still a learning process for him to realize that things happen, and he inevitably couldn’t be there to save you from everything. he needs time to understand and adjust. you’re willing to wait, patiently helping him through it. why? because love is worth it. 

god im sorry this ended up kinda sad whoops

diluc 

i swear everytime i say i’m a childe simp diluc kinda wrecks me

ahem anyways onto the hc!

he’s kinda never around but similar to xiao he will overwork himself to clear out an hour or two just to watch your concerts 

he’ll always stand off to the side too so if you tilt your head while you’re singing you can spy his red hair 

you always flash him the sweetest smile and this man blushes like CRAZY before quickly lifting his hand up to give you a thumbs up 

everyone watching the both of you like 😍😦

people think it’s the cutest thing i swear like c’mon the elusive “bachelor of mondstadt” being seen in public supporting you??? wow pls can we share him

he walks with you back to the winery, the entire time linking his hands with yours while gushing about your performance 

1939248/10 it’s literally the sweetest thing 

the next day however, adelinde brings you a pink letter addressed to you 

he doesn’t pry because it’s addressed to you and it’s your business but as the letters start coming by everyday, he starts to grow curious 

one day he straight up just asks you about it

“hey, you know those pink letters you keep getting? who are they from?”

you laugh slightly at his bashfulness and respond with a “just some overexcited fan” and he smiles before kissing your forehead 

he loves that people are noticing your talent 

loves it! until you get stalked by the same person who wrote you those letters while you were shopping!

diluc knows something’s wrong when you rush into angel’s share panicked after not returning his usual smile. 

“darling? are you ok?” he asks worriedly before quickly setting down the glass he was cleaning to move towards you. 

the widening of your eyes as you looked behind you at the sounds of someone else entering was all he needed to swiftly step in front of you, blocking their gaze of your face. 

the slightly panicked look in your eyes before you hurriedly whispered, “they’re following me” made diluc glance at them subtly out of the corner of his eye. he watched as they walked over to find a seat next to the bar, seemingly ready to order a drink. he quietly asked if you would like to sit in the room reserved for the employees, away from their prying eyes. your hasty nod was all the confirmation he needed for him to let you access the door behind him. 

the night went by fairly smoothly with kaeya’s usual teasing and venti’s usual begging for alcohol. diluc’s eyes narrowed however, when the person seemed to ask him questions regarding you. things like, “i heard you’re dating y/n... they’re amazing, how long have you been together?” and “do they live with you at dawn winery?” diluc answered these questions as short as he could, trying to convey with his body language that he truly did not want to talk to them. 

everything was going well until he made the mistake of leaving the bar unattended. he had briefly forgotten about your residence in the room behind him as his mind immediately gravitated to breaking up a brawl. when he returned, the half drunk glass of liquor combined with the person’s absence from their seat, caused sparks of worry to light up inside his chest. 

turning to the door, he knocked once. 

“is everything alright in there love?”

the sounds of things rustling about and the occasional muffled voice had him opening the door quickly. he saw you with your arm being held tightly in their grasp, your mouth muffled with their hand, while you strained against them by pulling at your arm. 

diluc immediately made his way over to you, quickly pulling your arm away before letting you enter into his embrace. 

“get out.” the venomous words clawed their way out of his throat as he looked at them with eyes that screamed hatred. his blood was boiling as his mind replayed the scene; your scared expression and their greedy eyes. 

diluc didn’t need to repeat himself twice as they ran out, trying not to trip over crates of wine. he made a mental note to find out who they were in order to make sure they never came near you ever again. 

he quickly looked down at your form, relaxing slightly at the sight of your tentative smile. “my knight in shining armor” you joked before softly nuzzling your head into his shoulder. the anger had yet to dissipate from his veins, and although he knew you were still shaken up, he was sure you would be fine. 

a pink letter placed on the table next to you caught his eye, and he made sure to quickly pocket it as he led you out, gently jesting with you about the “unnecessary amount of wine barrels in here, diluc this is a safety hazard!” 

he would deal with this person later. 

childe

ayo AYO ITS THE TOY SALESMAN

ok tbh he’s very rarely around so he unfortunately cannot make it to all of your shows 

dw tho, he will try his hardest to be there for the ones he’s in town for bc what is he if not your number one hype king??? 

ok kinda creepy! alert 

he’s tasked two of his subordinates to keep watch over you whenever he’s out of the harbor

it’s not anything creepy,,, he just gets extremely worried abt you and wants to make sure you’re safe 

sO when he gets a ransom note??? he’s understandably confused but also very much freaked out 

bc did they not know who he was??? the fact that they thought they could get away with holding you captive was quite honestly kind of funny to him 

very stressed and angry tho - hides it behind a facade of smiles but he’s raging 

takes him only a few hours to track you down bc he had everyone and i mean EVERYONE looking for you 

the note crunched in his hand as the harbinger made his way towards windrise. his pace was erratic, long legs rushing towards the small cave his agents had found. they were bordering the perimeter of the enclosure, careful to not alert you or your captor of their presence. childe’s subordinate head had calmly stated that childe need not come out to rescue you, the situation was under control and they could do it for him. however, childe’s sharp gaze along with his sickly sweet words of “thanks but no. i’m coming out to see this sorry asshole for myself” had the agent backing away apologizing. he wanted to see the look on this person’s face before he shoved their sorry ass into the abyss himself. 

as he reached the opening of the cave, he glanced over his shoulder at his head agent; a silent warning to keep the area sealed. his blue eyes glinted with a thirst for blood before making his way into the cave, sealing off the exit with his body. 

“well well, playing games with the love of my life are we?” 

his teasing words reached your ears as your eyes immediately found the face of your boyfriend. you weren’t horribly scared, just a little shaken up and sore from the bindings on your wrists. relief coursed through your body at the sight of him. you needn’t put in your plan of getting out of these bindings to fight your captor yourself anymore. 

childe’s eyes quickly scanned over your frame, making sure you weren’t hurt. at the state of you completely unharmed, the harbinger let his heart calm down slightly. you were completely ok. 

“wait a little longer, love? i promise this will be over soon”

the wink he sent you had you lightly rolling your eyes at his antics before he directed his attention back to your kidnapper. if your captor wasn’t scared before, they were certainly shaking in their boots now at the sight of childe’s twin hydro blades rotating playfully in his hands. 

“listen, all i want is the money-”

“and all i want is your head” 

your boyfriend smiled after cutting them off. the severity of the situation truly seemed to sink in at that moment before pleas of mercy fell from your captor’s lips, desperate to escape the bloodthirsty gaze of the harbinger. childe’s eyes flickered over to yours where you sat there, with your head ferociously shaking. a silent “no.” he sighed before swiftly bringing his arm up to hit your captor on the head, effectively knocking them out cold. 

his hands worked at the ropes holding you and he gingerly rubbed at your bruised wrists. you silently thanked the archons he could never say no to you. archons forbid what would've happened if you hadn’t said anything. while you were explaining what happened, the young man quickly scooped you up in his arms before walking out of the cave. 

you playfully hit his shoulder while muttering “drama queen” but you stopped when you saw his face morph into an expression of seriousness. you had informed him on the situation about your captor revealing themselves to be a recent stalker of yours, completely oblivious to the look of frustration on his face as he freed you from your bondages. 

“i was scared you know.” he quietly divulged. “i knew that it wasn’t anything extremely serious but i... i was still scared”

you swore as you looked at him in that moment, he had turned ten again. the youth of his face betraying his vulnerability. 

you quietly hummed before tangling your fingers in his hair. “i hope you know it wasn’t your fault. it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not even the two fatui agents who you sent to stalk me while you were away.”

he quietly laughed at that before mentally filing away a reminder for a lecture to those two agents in the near future. 

“i’m just glad you’re safe. i know you can save yourself but i’ll always be here. i still wish you would let me take care of your asshole kidnapper myself though.” he pouted jokingly. 

“i’m sure the millelith will lock them up for a long time.” you laughed sweetly. 

his usual smile reappeared at your antics. maybe he didn’t get to beat your captor up and do...much worse. however at the end of the day, your smile was still intact regardless of what happened. that’s all he wanted. 

#genshin impact #Genshin #xiao genshin impact #genshin x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #genshin xiao #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #genshin diluc x reader #diluc genshin impact #Childe #genshin impact childe #childe x reader #genshin childe #genshin childe x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x you #genshin x y/n

[parkers-gal]

pain from pleasure T.H.

because i don’t feel like writing today, i’ve spontaneously decided to repost all of my dad!tom fics — this one included

warnings : cursing / explicit talk, a few innuendos (okay a lot, lmfao)

summary : tom goes through a child birth simulator — controlled by ag!reader

pairing: ag!reader x dad!tom [wc: 1.3k]

—

"So, Y/N," James started.

About a month ago, you and Tom had done a session of carpool karaoke for your new album, thank u next. Despite Tom not being an artist, you still wanted him with you for it, for that was the first interview either of you would be doing since Jade's birth.

"James," you mocked, laughing.

"Last time you were here, you and Tom had a bit of a disagreement on how painful being a... female is."

"Yeah..." you trailed off, turning to the side with an arched brow, staring daggers at Tom who was sitting beside you on the sofa.

"So, I've created a new game."

"Oh here we go," Tom said, and you laughed at him.

James let out an excited, and knowing, laugh before continuing. "I have a child birth simulator set up to see if Y/N or Tom is right."

"Oh hell no-"

"Oh hell yes!" You interrupted, clapping excitedly. "Payback for you making me do Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts."

Tom looked at you before rolling his eyes in defeat, knowing you were right.

"Alright then, up with me now, c'mon," James persuaded, leading the way to another part of the talk show set.

"This already looks ridiculous," Tom said.

"Ridiculous my ass," you snapped back.

"Ha-ha," Tom said sarcastically.

"Right then, Tom, you lay down and we'll hook you up before giving Y/N the controls."

"What? Don't let Y/N control it-"

"I thought you said childbirth 'wasn't that bad,'" You quoted, crossing your arms.

"Why the fuck did I open my mouth," Tom muttered.

"I don't know, you should really shut it, movie star," you teased.  

He stared at you playfully before sitting on the bed, holding his arm out and letting the professionals attach wires and various equipment to his body. When they explained how to work the controls, they sat in chairs off camera and you were left with James and Tom again.

"Lay back, lover-boy."

"How sexy," Tom replied, tilting his head. You merely pushed his shoulder, encouraging him to speed up so you could get started.

"Whaddya say James, should we start small and torture him?" You asked, a fire in your eyes and a smirk on your face, the controls in your right hand.

"No teasing, love," Tom said, the innuendo flying over nobody's head.

"Watch it, Thomas," You warned.

"I love when you're bossy and in-control," he shot back, and James and you burst out laughing as the audience let out a series of 'oooh''s.

"Right then, let's start," you said, turning the machine on and bumping the levels to a small amount.

"OH- oh, this isn't that bad."

You grinned, rubbing your palm on your thigh. "Not that bad?"

"Yeah, it sort of feels liKE- OW! What the fuck, Y/N/N!"

You giggled and James was already freaking out, slightly pacing as Tom continued to wince and curse.

"Alright, settle down there, Tommy. It's not even passed level two, yet."

"How many levels are there?" He wheezed out, his fists clammy.

"Eleven."

"F-uck."

"Tommy this is just the 'menstrual cramps' level. Grow a pair and suck it up."

"Grow a pair? I have a pa-!"

"When I say grow a pair, I mean grow a pair of ovaries. Your balls ain't shit compared to the pussy power."

"Jesus, Y/N," James exclaimed, laughing still.

"Let's up it by two, whaddya think, Tommy? Think you can handle level four?"

"Please," Tom said cockily. "My pain tolerance is higher than yours."

"The only higher-leveled thing of yours than mine is your sex drive."

"Y/N!"

"I'm just saying," you said, holding up one hand defensively. "You are the one who got me pregnant twice."

"Please refrain from sharing the details of our sex life," he breathed out, wiping his forehead as a blush covered his cheeks and reddened the tips of his ears.

You giggled, increasing the simulator again, only this time your hand wasn't leaving the control, but rather increasing it slowly over time.

"Y/N!" Tom whined, thrashing around slightly, his hands balled into fists as his knuckles were white. You heard the snickering from off-set, and you looked in the direction to find Harry and Harrison on the floor in tears from laughing, and you eyed them, almost as if threatening to say 'you're next.' before cracking a smile. "I said no teasing!"

"But you love it so much," You pouted, and the audience shrieked.

"Y/N!"

"Yes, baby! Scream my name!" You joked, James continuing his endless laughter.

"You should really be quiet," Tom said. "Don't expose my kinks."

"Oh boy, don't get me started on your kinks. We could be here all day."

"Says you!" Tom fought back between breaths, the sweat on his forehead glistening.

"Says me?" You gasped, talking octaves higher with a hand to your chest for dramatic affect.

"You're always-" he stopped to breath. "Gawking at my hands."

The audience, once again, erupted in so many different noises, each person reacting differently. Your response was witty and quick, something that always shook Tom.

"What? Can't a woman admire her necklaces?"

"Holy shit," James muttered, turning another direction to pace in shock, mouth opening and covered with his hands.  

"Alright, let's give you a little break," you said, lowering the levels to three.

"Oh thank fuck," Tom sighed out, releasing the breath he was holding.

"Prepare yourself, Mr. 'my pain tolerance is higher.'"

Tom groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow.

"I didn't think anyone would get to see you like this, Tommy," You said seductively, and Tom groaned again as the audience laughed. "Guess we'll have to add threesomes to your list of kinks."

"Don't act like you haven't asked me before, Ms. Dick Bicycle."

You gasped, staring at him in shock. "Don't bring Nicki into this! Ms.Minaj is a badass rapper, and that was a great line!" You huffed playfully.

( for those of you who don't get the reference: there's an ariana grande song called side to side, its abt wild sex and it's featuring nicki minaj; her rap has a part 'wrist icicle ride dick bicycle.' )

"Mhmm," Tom hummed, laughing at how you were huffing and puffing, struggling to get a response out.

You scrunched up your nose before waving the controls around as if to show him you were still in charge, but Tom didn't stop laughing. Only then he stopped when you increased levels to full power.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

You were giggling, the audience laughing along.

"OW! You go-" he wheezed and inhaled and panted. "You went through this! Twice!"

"That's right," You said, crossing your arms again.

"Oh god! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" He whined, cried really.

"What's this? Is Tommy begging for me?"

"F-UCK!"

You laughed before lowering the levels again. "Alright, alright calm your titties."

He was sweating fully now, ripping off the wires and other equipment from his body, falling onto the mattress a sticky mess.

After a few moments, everyone calmed down and Tom recovered to some degree.

"I was so wrong," Tom said. "Sorry love."

"Don't be," You said, hugging him as his head was level to your chest. "You can be sorry when your vagina opens ten centimeters."

"Tell me they don't have a simulator for that, too," He whined from your neck.

"We don't," James said, getting up with his cards.

"That was Tom Holland and Y/N Holland in Pain from Pleasure, and I'm James Corden and we'll be right back!"

Then, the two of you talked to James for a few moments before heading backstage to freshen up, Harry and Harrison awaiting the both of you.

"Well? How was it?" Harrison asked.

"Dude," Tom said, holding his shoulder. "Always listen to your girl."

"Noted."

#dad!tom holland #husband!tom holland #ag!reader #tom holland x ag!reader #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland fluffy

[shadyteacup]

Congrats for 300+!!!💕 You deserve even more <3

And OMG why are your angsts always so good😭 The moment I saw the angst prompt 3 “I thought you were dead! You cant just come back to my life after I’ve finally found someone who can make me as happy as you could!”, Dazai and his 2 years of disappearance came into my mind. Maybe Dazai disappeared for 2 years without telling the reader who was madly in love with him (Dazai too) and just when she got over it and found someone else, he came back to find her as he understood how precious she was to him.

I love torturing myself. And I’m begging you to give me that.

Oh God this is some lovely, torturous and harmful angst... You mustn't beg to be tortured, my child, for here I am, providing you with words that cause pain more effectively than the devil himself.😈

Okay, I'm exaggerating, but like, this hurt to write..

Warnings: angst, slight swearing.

Word count: 1457

Dazai Osamu + “I thought you were dead! You can’t just come back to my life after I’ve finally found someone who can make me as happy as you could!”

The Lone Red Rose

It all began with love. Two lost souls had found solace in each other’s arms. She knew he wasn’t the perfect prince she used to dream about. She knew he had flaws. She knew he had shed blood, both his own, and others’. But she loved him, nonetheless. For she could not live without him.

Or so she believed.

What began with love, turned into disaster. He left, not caring to say goodbye. She cried for him.

She knew he wouldn’t leave her like that. So, she had to assume the worst possible case. He was dead. She convinced herself that. She told herself that the only true love of her life had died, and she didn’t even get to say goodbye, hold him in her arms or share one last kiss.

Oh, how wrong she was. Now she knew that he wasn’t dead. He was very much alive. Only now, he’s dead, to her.

“Hi.”

It was that simple. All it took was a small word to ruin her entire life. She had spent multiple years mourning for him. She had to convince herself to move on. It took her way too long to realise that it's okay to move on. And she did. She had finally found someone who made her smile. Someone who loved to make her laugh. Someone who cherished her the way he used to. Someone who cared, loved and pampered. And she had fallen for him. He was her prince, and she was his queen. They were living the fairy-tale life. He had hinted at marriage too. They were truly meant for each other.

But Dazai Osamu had a reputation of being there at the worst possible time. Here he stood, in your doorway, holding a bouquet of purple hyacinths. He looked so different than she remembered him to be. He had finally revealed his other eye. She knew that it was uninjured, they were lovers once upon a time, after all. The fact that he was showing it to the world meant that he no longer killed.

Everything about Dazai Osamu was symbolic. He was a poet at heart. He never missed an opportunity to use symbolism in his daily life.

“It adds depth to one’s life”, he had said to her, all those years ago.

Dazai Osamu was a dramatic poet who could never make the right decisions. He was an excellent conspirator. None of his plans ever really failed. But when it came to matters of the heart, he was as pathetic as a sandpaper towel. All he ever did was scar, never heal.

Purple hyacinths mean “I’m sorry”. She understood why he chose these particular flowers. What she didn’t understand is why there stood, between a sea of hyacinths, a red rose at the centre. Red roses meant love. That died a long time ago.

She let him in anyways, placing the bouquet on the side table, not bothering to place the flowers in a vase.

“Hi? Are you fucking serious?!”

She shouted at him.

He gulped, taking a seat on one of the chairs and fiddling with his fingers.

“I can explain.”

And he did. He explained it all to her. Every single detail of the entire fiasco was explained to her.

“I had to go into hiding. I couldn’t help it.”

“And you couldn’t tell me?”

“Any contact with you would have put you in danger-“

“Bullshit. You could have sent a message through someone. You could have sent me a letter. Anything that would have told me that you were alright. Any fucking sign would have done the trick. You’re the fucking mafioso, come up with some bloody plan! Anything could have worked, you know that, I know that, so don’t even think about bullshitting your way through this.”

He ran a hand through his messy locks.

“The truth is that I didn’t think of it. I thought that you’d be better off believing that I’m dead.”

She was feeling a hurricane of emotions. How could he just assume that?!

“I think it would have been much better if you would have let me make that decision!”

He rubbed his face tiredly.

“My life is back on track now. I have everything that I lost during those 2 years, and more, now. I’m no longer a criminal, but a detective who works against criminals and the mafia. I have everything I could have wished for. Everything but you.”

He leaned forward to grab the bouquet. Pulling out the rose, he got down on one knee and held it up to her.

“Y/N L/N, will you be mine?”

She stood shocked and aghast.

“Are you being serious right now?”, she asked him in a hushed whisper, her eyes hollow and blank. Her eyes held no shine. They looked like hollow, emotionless pits.

“Absolutely. Be mine again. We can be happy together. United after two years of agony.”

She looked at him incredulously and began giggling. She looked maniacal at the moment. Her eyes were wide, her hands flying upwards as she laughed at him, at the situation. But mostly, she laughed at his audacity.

“Do you really think that after everything you put me through, after all those tears that were shed for nothing, I would accept you?”

She glared down at him, giving him cynical look.

“You didn’t even bother to check up on me. You treated me like shit, Dazai. You used me. You wanted a person to hold at night, and you held onto me. But as soon as things got difficult for you, you left. You didn’t even bother to think about me. Did you ever consider the consequences your disappearance would have on me, huh? You worked for the fucking mafia! I always imagined that you’d been killed or kidnapped. For months, I believed that you were kidnapped, and held onto the twisted hope that you’d have survived the torture and that you’d just stroll through the door. Maybe you’d have some extra bandages, but that’s okay. At least you’re alive. But then more months passed. No sign of you. I had to assume.. I had to...”

She couldn’t help the tears that escaped her.

“I had to tell myself that you had died.”

She didn’t realise when her knees gave away, but she soon felt strong arms wrap around her torso to prevent her from falling.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He whispered in her hair, cradling her in his arms.

“We can figure this out, right? With time, you can accept that I’m back. Maybe we can visit that cake shop that you used to like, or maybe we could go back to that hill to see the stars, or- ”

She pushed him harshly. He stumbled back, widening his eyes at the sudden force.

“I thought you were dead! You can’t just come back to my life after I’ve finally found someone who can make me as happy as you could!”

He just gaped at her.

“You... you found someone?”

She hurriedly wiped her tears from her cheeks. Sniffing, she fished through her pockets for her phone. Pulling it out, she opened her gallery. It was filled with pictures of her and her current lover. She shoved the phone in his face.

“He is smart, handsome, caring, loving, sarcastic, humorous, amazing, gentle and everything that I had ever wanted. He is my everything, and I am his world.”

Dazai’s heart shattered at her words. The pictures were rubbing salt in his wound.

“I love him, Dazai. I love him as much as I used to love you. Hell, I love him more. A lot more than I ever loved you.”

He stumbled back, breathing hard. He had always assumed that she would be waiting for him when he came back. He failed to imagine her with another guy. Of course, she found someone. He had treated her like shit. He had completely taken her emotions for granted. He was only 19 when he had left. Only now was he beginning to understand what it meant to be wise. Back then, he was an emotional wreck. What he did was unforgivable. And yet he hoped to win her over. He had hoped to have her back. But now that was impossible. He had lost her now.

No. He had already lost her two years ago.

Now, all that he could do, was accept defeat and walk away before he hurt her more.

“Forgive me. Goodbye.”

With that, Dazai Osamu disappeared from her life for a second time.

Ahhh... idk abt yall but this physically hurt me... :")

#shady☕ #shadyteacup event #hanimehub #shadyteacup #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #kunikida doppo #bungo stray dogs dazai #☕ says #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs imagine #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou sd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs incorrect quotes #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai #dazai x you #dazai smut #dazai layouts #dark era dazai #dazai headcanons #dazai fluff #dazai angst

[yunsoh]

alrighty season 3 ep 2 thoughts. this post got ridiculously long so the rest is under a read more:

- literally i love every single time we see akito sleeping in this long and empty room. there’s something very encompassing about how empty it is + how the angle emphasizes it, especially when we can clearly see she’s sharing her bed 

- shigure and tohru’s moments alone are always soo so sweet. their relationship so far is very much one where there’s a lot of affection between them (which ofc makes one of their biggest scenes together during the final act feel especially hurtful even though it’s a side of shigure we’re well aware of by that point -- it’s just something that tohru up until that point hadn’t witnessed, much less been directly confronted with. but i’m getting ahead of myself lmfao moving on)

- actually related to the above love tohru asking “wouldn’t i just be interrogating him?” and “the things kureno told me make me feel like i’m looking into a deep, dark well” just ahh i do love this background progression of shigure and tohru’s relationship and how it reaches a head when they have their talk about kyo later. 

- this is perhaps unintentional but: having this shot of machi noticing yuki + clearly having some new feelings about him overlaid with/directly followed by momiji and tohru, where we still know momiji has an unrequited crush on her. yes it makes me laugh a little but it’s also fitting because at this moment in time yuki does not have a crush on machi in return + sees her only as a friend.

- it’s been mentioned but it bears repeating. why are they not progressing momiji’s height whatsoever lmaooo. funny because yuki and kyo have had gradual changes but they’re really just trying to make this growth spurt reveal super jarring huh. also holy shit he looks TINY next to haru in this shot. next

- the one kid in class asking hana to fuck the priyuki girls up but she’s like “actually i really don’t care” LMAO........ love her

- ugh i really love this moment with yuki.......... i think it’s been a while since we’ve seen the general student population (not just the prince yuki girls) still treat him in a revering way, now also in part because he’s the student council president but definitely still because of his reputation as the prince. this was something that was so deeply ostracizing to him early on in the series, and does still remind him of his loneliness -- but that loneliness isn’t crippling to him anymore, because now he does have friends who like him and who he can have fun with. 

i’m going to write a bigger post on this later probably because this is a really important progression point in how yuki understands himself to exist in his school’s ecosystem + how his self-esteem is still developing.

- additionally i just want to say that this scene isn’t yuki suddenly falling for machi, or really something to be read as mutually romantic between them -- machi i think absolutely has a crush on him at this point (because he is. the only person who is actually nice to her and considers her existence aside from kakeru but moving on) but yuki’s perception of her at this moment is heavily tied to how he thinks of himself as a friend + whether he’s a worthy enough person to befriend. the fact that machi shatters those doubts for him in such an overt way is important.

- anyways machi is rly cute here i loooove that she’s comfortable being more expressive around him even though it’s mostly out of embarrassment LMAO...... she’s learning how to display her feelings and trusts him with that..... cute.

- also of note yuki putting his hand on the top of her head which is like... he’s trying to convey that he feels they have (or are starting to have) a trusting friendship with each other but it’s like. a bit too much for machi to handle omfg. honestly this goes in hand with way back when ayame patted yuki’s head in praise which was clearly something yuki didn’t receive much of as a kid, and i’m assuming machi also rarely if ever received that same sort of praise. what i’m saying is they’re both trying lmaoo

- also as usual shimazaki’s deliveries are spot on yuki is soooo fucking cute in this scene. “what? seriously? they’re even worse than the ones i made” he’s so casual and funny with her it’s so good

- okay the timeskip to sunset makes me laugh it makes it seem like tohru and kyo have just been waiting in that room alone for hourssss

- ugh how sexy would it have been if the brief flashback to kureno + the music overlay had been cut out here. like tohru seeing the birds and then turning to ask kyo what he would think if someone’s curse had been broken would have gotten the message across just as well + i think would have been more emotionally impactful.

- tohru’s expression here though is so good just. ugh. will say this point in hers and kyo’s relationship is just so tasty because he really is her most trusted confidant but she’s also so aware of anything that could be construed as him rejecting her or pushing her away, which now that she’s getting especially wrapped up in the family’s secrets...... it’s a thin line she’s walking w wanting to protect him but not wanting to push him away bc he’s resigned to what will happen

- this visual is so weeeeeird aoghjksd the screen being framed by her bangs. what. why

- hmmmm in general idk if the flower scene hit very well. it felt kind of awkward? kyo and tohru both seemed really stiff which is weird because literally just a minute ago they were animated pretty well tbh

- this post is already so long and i only JUST started the akigure part of the ep....... i’m so sorry

- machi and kyo both handing off white flowers to yuki and tohru respectively and then we’re hit with shigure giving akito a red flower instead. obviously because akito is symbolized by red camellias + to refer back to her memory of shigure giving one to her, but also just basic color symbolism -- white being more indicative of purity and new beginnings, red being something both passionate, evocative, dangerous.

- oh we’re back to the kids. it is not in fact akigure time yet. 

- i loooove this tohru outfit so much she’s so cute in it. also ig it bears mentioning because i didn’t say anything about it last time, but the reboot hinting more directly to the audience that something bad happened to rin, rather than just her disappearing entirely, is def more overt than in the manga. that short scene of ren intercepting rin in the last ep was chronological yes, but in the manga we don’t see that happen until after we know that akito’s been keeping her in the cat’s room. so just by tohru mentioning that she hasn’t seen or heard from rin in a while, we’re clued in that something bad to her must have happened because of ren. which i don’t think is a bad decision honestly -- since ren is set up as the antagonist for this season, it might make viewers assume that ren did something bad to her, only for it to be revealed that it was akito and that akito is still becoming more and more unhinged. but that also ren is unhinged. disasters.

- “i’m sorry, i’m afraid i do have parents” this rly is just the mid-20s mood isn’t it

- mitsuru fucking hissing at shigure i cannot

- nakamura’s acting during this phone scene is so goooood oh my god. the LOATHING. honestly this alone just makes me crazy abt the insanity that is akito + kureno + shigure like jesus christ. 

- kureno’s pitiful little “nii-san” after shigure obliterates his entire life. there we go

- honestly it’s funny how shigure’s expression looks when akito yells at him for sleeping with ren because for a moment it looks like he has NO idea what she’s talking about but then. nope. he fucked her mom.

- do like the little detail of akito pointing as she tells shigure to get out, but when he leaves he just turns in the opposite direction. like truly he has never followed orders to the t once in his life.

- this shot of ren is so fucking absurd oh my god. pls get ur male gaze directing out of here.

- “i... thought you forgot” man the way this is delivered feels really striking. i think because akito is never caught off guard in a way that surprises her in such a quiet way, or in a way that leaves her plainly vulnerable. like her vitriol towards him has to do with the fact that she feels he’s abandoning the bond they used to have (and ofc they bond they have through the curse), and that memory of him does act as a linchpin. 

- it’s primo bitchy shigure hours. primo akito meltdown hours.

- this shot is soooo foreboding wow. straight up darkness. tho i kind of wish this shot was used instead for the “i want to crush her to a pulp” line, or at the very least that the shot for that line was just framed differently

- god they’re so fucking awful for each other. purely just a disaster duo. shigure taking control of the conversation + dismissing akito’s meltdown and emotional manipulation leaves akito feeling the only way she can have control over him is through seducing him since no other method works. the convo that has with her accusing him of sleeping with a lot of other women + her not knowing how to handle the fact that he slept with ren, and ofc the convo it has with her misogyny and how she views herself. they have this really vitriolic push and pull for control because akito doesn’t know what to do when she loses any control at all, and shigure’s grasping at what little control he can have considering how their power dynamics work with the bond -- walking away when she’s being manipulative, refusing to coddle her. like shigure’s wish for them to be on an equal playing field without the curse is a pipe dream because their relationship is just so, so damaged as is and is so heavily informed by what has already happened between them. takaya why did you have them end up together for realsies why did you--

- what is with the reboot team making akito break down the walls and doors all the time lmfao. bro the structural damage caused by this little 90lb disaster.

- i think i understand why they took it out (like maybe it would have been too overt with how they’ve set up the audience to expect something bad happened to rin after running into ren) but man they really just didn’t adapt one of the most haunting parts of the series huh. like this shot of rin being trapped inside the cat’s room right beside shigure thinking “i’ll be waiting for you” maaaan man!!

- okay addendum: apparently she is in the room. in hindsight i did notice this but it did not register as a person because i thought it was just a glare on the window 😭

#fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #holy shit this post is long i'm so sorry LMAO..... i had so much to say

[ais-n]

hi!!! firstly i just want to say i LOVE ICOS with my whole being. i read it for the first time in high school abt 5 years ago and read it again over quarantine last summer and it drew me in and wrapped me up wholly, i couldn’t put it down. i love the story and characters so much.

i also love writing very much and have always written small stories, fan fiction etc., the past couple weeks i’ve felt inspired to write fiction of my own, a novel of sorts with my own original plot and characters, and i wanted to ask you for some advice/ words of wisdom.

how did you plan out the characters you wrote? or did you more just let them write themselves? and did you plan out chapter by chapter how the plot would unfold before writing, or again let it happen as you wrote it? i’ve found it easier for me personally to let things happen as i write, and that the characters do things and say things i never planned for, was wondering if you felt the same or if you were more organized lol.

also what platform did you use to write on?

sorry for the long post, i hope you’re doing well.

Aww thank you, that's so sweet! I'm glad you like it :)

Side note, before I forget to mention - I just made a subreddit for my writing/stuff which will include ICoS things... I'll be adding more info on there this weekend hopefully, and I'm sure I'll do another post over here too but the link if you want it is https://www.reddit.com/r/aisylum/ It may be a place to find some other stuff in the future if you think of anything. I was thinking of doing an AMA or Q&A type thing over there too. Obviously, always feel free to ask here too <3 I love either place. Just wanted to mention while I'm thinking of it :)

I'm so happy you've been inspired to write - good luck and great job! I think that sounds absolutely awesome and I bet your story will be fantastic :)

We kind of did a bit of a hybrid.... I really wish I had the original bulletpoint list for what the book was originally going to be, but "Sonny" and I had opposite ways of looking at things. "He" would delete things as we went, and I would squirrel it all away until later lol So "he" deleted a bunch of bulletpoints/early info as we went because neither of us actually expected anything to come of any of it, so I also wasn't super anal about keeping track of things way early on. I might still have some documents buried somewhere with info but offhand I don't know where.

Anyway so I kind of am more like you in the way you write, but I will sometimes make the effort to try to plan a bit, especially if there's a cowriter. For ICoS for example, we had a rough outline planned of what was going to be the story, we started writing, we let the characters/plot/etc go where it needed to go, that meant things we hadn't planned from the start came in. The original story was basically mostly Evenfall, then skip Afterimage and Interludes for the most part but not entirely, and then we didn't really have a hugely detailed end initially from what I recall but we knew generally what was going to happen, so some of the stuff from later Fade would probably have been in the bullets. But when we got to the end of Evenfall, whatever was our next bulletpoint just did not feel right; we knew all the other stuff that starts Afterimage would happen instead.

For my long ongoing LGBTQ+ fantasy series I'm working on, the first book is finished but I'm editing it to change/add some significant stuff. I have a whole bunch of info on that which I've compiled over the years, so to an extent I have a general idea of plot things that will go down in the rewrite and also in the future into the other books, but a lot of details and even bigger points are left untouched. I prefer to let the characters/story/world/plot go where it wants to go, and I just have general points that I know make sense or have to happen eventually, and I look for how to fit them in as organically as possible to the way the story is going. If that makes sense. I will occasionally try to really work out exact storyline bullets but I get so bored so quickly that I never finish.

Because I like world-building and character development, I actually find it more fun and more useful for my organizational skills (any that exist, anyway, lol) to be aimed more toward that. Rather than focusing on the story and what the plot will be and what character will say what in which chapter, I prefer to dig into the past of the characters, dig into the world, the magic system or whatever is relevant, and have that info all squirreled away somewhere if needed. That way, as I'm going forward with writing the characters/story more organically, if things are going around what I initially thought the plot would be, this gives me something to then pull from for inspiration on how to incorporate this new plot/etc into the world more seamlessly, and make it feel more at home. And if you have all that info on characters, it also makes it easier to throw in things that flesh the character out more, and that can all lead toward character development in the future.

Boyd, for example - when we first had the valentine thing come up, it was just going to be a thing that happened that showed their miscommunication and how fucked the Agency was. But then it didn't make sense to me for it to just be a thing mentioned once and never again. So then that added to Boyd's story; now he was a valentine, so if it made sense or it was relevant, that was a thing that could or should come up. As the story progressed and the world grew, and with that the Agency and other factors were more fleshed out, it became more and more relevant. Then, by the time Fade came around, it was fully integrated into Boyd's story because by that point it would be weirder if it weren't - and because it made total sense in the characters' perspectives and the different organizations' perspectives and the story as a whole for the things to happen the way they did. But all of that, of course, then informs Boyd's mental health, physical health, and overall stability. Which then affects how he interacts with the world and other characters, which then affects the plot to an extent because of the choices he would make that may be different now, in the context of these life experiences, compared to prior to those life experiences. If the valentine thing never happened in Evenfall, a lot of Fade would be different. When we had that coming up in Evenfall, we didn't know another book was coming at all, let alone 3, let alone that it would end up having such a significant impact on the story and character development. But that's just kind of an example of building on things as you go, which is what I tend to do, personally.

As for the program - in the beginning we just used Word I think, and talked on AIM or something. It's been so long I don't totally remember. But for most of it we used Google Docs because that made it easy to share and write/edit at the same time.

Also, haha never be sorry for long posts - as you can see, I will almost always go longer ^_~

Hope you're doing well too! Thanks for your interest :)

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #icosbooks

[dukeofonions]

hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 

#dukeofasks #ts criticism #virgil criticism #pofaffair

[awisa-moved]

chimera ant + names

”From now on... you may call me... Meruem.”

i wrote about the chimera ants for a project that asked for an analysis of monsters in media, i’m sure it’s been talked about before but i thought i’d share my thoughts too (literally *just* my thoughts theres prob philosophers and writers who have theory abt names + identity but i simply do not have that knowledge atm). all of the conflict in hxh has been about individuals or groups, and chimera ant almost diverged from that with the setup of a “man vs nature” storyline and thank god. 

instead there’s a lot of inner struggles between what is humanity and what is monstrosity. what makes the ants a threat in the first place is when they absorb human dna through phagogenesis. the arc is a gradual evolution of the ants becoming more and more “human”, and that shifts their behaviour and even visually how they’re drawn. but i think what starts this shift is the want for a name. 

”May we have permission to have names?” 

“What is a ‘name’?” 

“A label to make ourselves distinct.” 

“Do what you want.” 

“We’re much obliged...”

this is relatively early on in the arc (vol 19 out of 30), but from here on togashi begins writing the ants from just simply “monsters” to a more complex antagonist. the only ants who don’t choose their own name is meruem and the royal guards, who the queen decides to name herself after the above exchange. 

”Komugi...?” 

“The blind girl.” 

(He bothered to learn her name...?)

the moment meruem and komugi play gungi and he takes notice of her nen awakening is when he asks her for her name. the act of asking “what’s your name” is one of respect, and this act repeats further on. komugi also asks for his name, which he doesn’t know. he is feared and loved due to his royal title, but lacks a personal identity otherwise. meruem calls the royal guards to him, all by name, to ask what his is. youpi says he is “not equal to the task“ of giving him a name, pitou suggests the king pick out a name he feels is most fitting for himself (trans rights!), and pouf, who earlier asserted that a name isn’t necessary and that the title of king is enough, says that there’ll be time to pick a name after the sorting. 

”What... is my name?”

the ants undergo constant transformation all throughout the story, both in a literal and a metaphorical sense, but this is the point when the king undergoes that transformation himself, and this essentially kicks off meruem’s self-reflection and growth. “I… am King. But… Who am I really…? Why… am I here? For what reason… was I born?”, and he spirals like this a couple of times. we’ve all been there buddy <3

when he plans to kill komugi, he shows kindness for the first time. in the past he striked others, ants or otherwise, with no hesitation, but this time his natural instinct is to protect her.

”Don’t you want to know... what your name is?”

when meruem faces off with netero, netero’s bargaining chip is his knowledge of meruem’s name. meruem refuses to fight until he is given that chance to find out (and also never asks for netero’s name). meruem finally learns his name, and when pouf and youpi come to his aid he shares his name with them. he’s happy to finally know his name, but also tells it to his closest aides, another way he is showing respect and ultimate trust to them.

“What did you say... your name was?”

“Gon. Gon Freecss.”

“Gon... You respected my wishes and waited for me.

despite having the intention to kill gon, pitou still asks for his name. he knew gon’s name already too since gon said it himself when he first saw pitou (”Do you remember me? My name is Gon Freecss!! I came to see you to restore Kite!!!”), but it’s the action of it that’s significant. while pitou is using doctor blythe to heal himself, he addresses gon by name again: “Gon... I’m sorry but I have to kill you. For the King...”. he wants to kill gon to keep the king safe, yet he still appreciates gon for letting him finish healing komugi and for trusting him blindly.

and then of course, the end of the arc and the last exchange of words between meruem and komugi.

”My name is Meruem. Lord... Meruem.”

”Will you...”

“Yes...?”

“Say my name... one last time...?”

“Good night... Meruem.”

meruem remembered how he couldn’t tell komugi what his name was, and just as he shared it with pouf and youpi, he tells komugi too. learning his name brought comfort to him, and once pouf and youpi became ~connected~ to meruem, they too shared the joy he felt upon learning his name. the guards still call him lord meruem, but he insists that komugi just simply call him “meruem”. and then the last thing he hears is “good night meruem”. i already mentioned it in a different post, but meruem’s birth was incredibly violent and his death is the opposite. gentle and loving. the catalyst for his growth, komugi asking for his name and him not knowing it, is finally resolved and he gets to hear it spoken lovingly in his final moments. 

his determination to win against komugi is what delays her death, but in the end it’s really the action of her asking for his name. once the ants begin to name themselves, that’s when they become not just a vague threat but a group of individuals. meruem was born a leader of a loyal colony, he had no reason to consider who he really is as an individual until komugi appeared in his life and treated him with kindness. not with fear or reverence, but genuine kindness.

there’s a lot more to be said of the general growth of the two sides (ants and humans) over the duration of the arc. the name thing was just a small thing i mentioned in my writing that i figured would be fun to go into a bit more detail. when grabbing screen caps for this i noticed ant palm breaks from pouf’s control over the frustration of being called no.1 and not palm but she is a bitch so whatever but i figure i would mention it anyway 🙄there may be other scenes i missed, and otherwise i can’t really think of names as a concept being this significant in the other hxh arcs

#zvezda.txt #hxh lb #this isnt even analysis im just listing things and being like wow :) cool writing #but uh. whatever ill post it anyways <3 #star.txt

[jungwnn]

Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗

INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.

YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋

in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!

pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!

Your overall relationship would consist of:

☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!

☼movie marathons!!

☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are

☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall

☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣

☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks

☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!

so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!

I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!

Your overall relationship would consist of!!

☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well

☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)

☼always compliments your eyes !!

☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !

☼he has you as his wallpaper!

☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck

☼CHEEK KISSES!!!

for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!

okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋

overall relationship!!

☼kisses on the lips all the time

☼plane ride cuddles

☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer

☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy

☼always talks to you abt the future <3

☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned

☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣

a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #jake enhypen #jake imagines #jake sim #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu x reader #tommrow x together imagine #choi beomgyu #bts imagines #bts #bts taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung x reader

[marshmallowprotection]

hey! SE Saeran anon here! I agree Unknown/SE Saeran is a diff personality than Ray & Suit Saeran, bc he came to be during that 2 yr time period. But I like to believe that SE Saeran, Suit Saeran, and Ray are all aware of each other! Ik you've written abt them before but from my understanding, they aren't/don't share experiences and memories? Sorry if I'm interpreting wrong!

That's actually a whole point of what happens with dissociative identity disorder.

You are pointedly disconnected from your trauma to the point that it's protecting you from something that is a very bad and detrimental to you. Not every single person within the system will be a trauma holder. Not every person is going to have the same memories and not every person is going to know what's going on at all times with the body. That's the whole part of the dissociation. Most people that find out that they are not a singlet tend to find out when they're older in life, when you start missing hours and days, being places that you don't remember getting to, and vice versa. There may be a very specific reason why you don't know, trauma is a very touchy subject.

I guess let me preface this with the fact that I link Another Story and the Casual/Deep Routes. I do I know that many people don't do that but that's what I do and that's why I do certain things when I'm writing with them.

I can say this from secondhand experience with my partner who I've been with before knew he had DID. They did not appear and come forward until the situation called for it, and we found out that way. In my take on SE Saeran, he was once Unknown, and now he's just going by Saeran at this point. He is trying to get his life back together and just as he starting to open back up and work on everything that he's been pushing away, Ray awakens once more and is needed. Saeran is overwhelmed and cannot handle is going on around him and Ray can. That was his purpose when he was the host of the system.

He was dormant, meaning that he was literally gone for two years. He woke up in a reality where he didn't exist anymore, he was living in the bunker, and he was nowhere near Magenta and he had no explanation for it. He had no way of accessing the memories that belong to Saeran. He can't just magically connect to those pieces because that's not something that he has. He has to learn by looking through things and asking a lot of questions. His role is kind of a caretaker because he can do anything without complaining and take care of everything.

Now, in comparison to that, Suit Saeran was not dormant in this timeline. He just wasn't needed, not in the way that he was needed when Ray was around. Unknown was able to do what he had to do and be a strong person so Suit never had to go step into things. And, when Saeran starts to really suppress his anger because he's scared of hurting people, this is too much for Suit, he'll tell the household to call him Grave later on, and he lashes out. He has held on to all of the anger that they had, and when someone isn't dealing with anger how they used to it makes him want to lash out. He comes out because Saeran is scared of being angry but the thing is, it's okay to be angry, it's just you have to know how to express it without hurting others. Grave hasn't quite learned how to do that. He contains a lot of the same memories that Saeran has.

I implied in the one shot that was his that they were co-conscious sometimes. I could describe that to you how I've heard it described to me before and that's like two people being in the front seat of a car together. Like you can both see where you're going with one person might be steering in the other person might be directing, it's different for everyone.

There can be times when two personalities blur together and that tends to happen with Grave and Unknown a lot. It's just that Lila, my MC, had no way of knowing that. Nobody did. Saeran was aware of Grave, but he didn't think Grave was going to be a problem because he had been quiet for quite some time.

There's Su-Jin as well, but you didn't ask about their little so I won't go into detail about that unless you want me to. They do become aware of each other after this point so while they do know that everyone exist at this point they may not always be connecting with each other. It's a little hazy as Saeran gets used to this sensation of having more than himself around again. As they try to learn how to work together and exist together.

Yes, they can talk to each other and interact with each other but they may not hold some of the same memories. Again, that's the point of the disassociation. Sometimes they may have shared memories if they were co-conscious during the same situation or maybe they have an idea of what they were going to be doing that day but not quite what the other was doing at that moment. If you're talking about memories in the context of what may have happened in the past, then no they don't always share memories like that. Like, Saeran cannot recall things that happened to Ray. Su-Jin holds very specific trauma memories from their childhood that some of them can't even remember with glaring detail, for example.

Does that make sense? I can try to explain it further if you need me to or give you a reference material to read up on or watch. Cause, I'm just a singlet doing my best to be mindful and respectful. They are aware of each other once they make their presence known, meaning Ray, Grave and Su-Jin. Like, Ray didn't tell Saeran that he was there until the third time he happened to wake up in the body, he was scared and thought it was a fluke.

#mod kait #ask #anon #se saeran #se suit saeran #grave #se ray #kid saeran #su-jin #secret ending #saeran choi

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee . #anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️ #and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage