#sorry i had to get it out of my chest

[ladymcres]

i’ve already ranted about the ridiculous amount of hate build gets on twitter, but please, let me say again how childish and hypocritical things are getting. Let’s start from the beginning.

Weirdly enough, the vp photobook behind the scenes and a certain amount of vp content start to come out the moment rumor has it bible and build will get a new show for just the two of them (content that had been around since may apparently). Back then I thought they were starting to hint about a kp s2 focusing on vp, because that would have been smart. Clearly, I was wrong.

The announcement event starts, bible and build are revealed to be working with sammon on something very sammon-like. Sammon, for those who don’t know, is a prolific writer, and had some of her books turned into tv shows (Manner of Death and Triage, just to mention the most popular). She definitely does not need to plagiarize anyone.

One of the kp writer starts to go on a rampage on twitter, claiming she was betrayed by someone in boc and and unfollows build on twitter.

Reminder: a show has just been announced, but build is weirdly silent.

Couple of days pass, and guess what? The aforementioned writer withdraws from daemi house, stating she didn’t want her bad actions to reflect on her colleagues or something along those lines.

Today, Build decides to speak up about the issue and clarify everything and to apologize if unintentionally he hurt anyone. He stated that he never shared anything about 4 minutes, that he never stole ideas from the kp writers and that his relationship with them was over. Also, he apologized to the fans for all the mess that was going on even though really, he shouldn’t have. He literally did nothing wrong in this case. I also kind of appreciated the fact that he didn’t involve Bible (it could have been the easiest way) and that he mentioned it was a personal issue. He ends up breaking down because obviously getting continuous hate for something you said years ago will break anyone at a certain point, and when that hate gets revamped by people who you were kind of friends and colleague with, it just hit harder i suppose.

One would think that after all the shit the kp writers did to all the members of the cast, this time people would show reason and side with build, right? I thought something we all agreed on was that writers are trash m. Well, no, because some mile and apo stans decide it’s time to side with the writers because apparently poi talked about sa in her allegations (not directed to build, from what i gathered on twitter, but of course that wouldn’t matter if you’re keen on hating someone). Adding this later because i just got more info. Poi posted on her ig pictures of blood and injuries, hinting at the fact that she had been attacked. Guess what? The pictures had been downloaded from pinterest and she had to admit she was fine and nothing had happened. Again: disgusting behavior.

Now, my opinion on this matter is: the kp writers didn’t like to be sidelined by boc and first, they tried to bring the attention over them with the photobook, and then, poi decided to go for the jugular with her accusations. Attacking build is the easiest way to gain clout these days, everyone and their grandmas know that. If she’d tried something like that with mile, apo, jeff, barcode or bible, the whole kp fandom would have eaten her alive, but build? Build is an easy target, considering what happened in the past. Also, if she had actual evidence of what she claims, she would have brought them out and Build wouldn’t have had the guts to hold a public speech. We’ve been saying for months that poi and yok are dangerous, that the actors were uncomfortable when they were around and when one them actually speaks up about what’s going on (and clearly it’s not easy for him, because from what i gathered he was close to her), people need to go and be dickheads. The kp writers have been acting like they own the kp cast from the beginning, so it really doesn’t surprise me that exactly when the two actors who would have brought them the most money (let’s be real here, the moment vp raised, nobody really cared about the kp dynamic anymore) go and announce they’re working with a popular writer for their upcoming show, the female writer decide to feel betrayed and plagiarized? I find that suspicious, not going to lie. Also, there is the fact that build literally had a full break down, he was devastated. Who would like to be dragged through the mud the moment an important project of yours is announced? And to those saying he was faking it, i suppose you can believe what you want, but obviously it wasn’t something planned, it was clear not even bible was aware he was going to speak up.

At this point, i’ll cherish pete, vegad and kp s1 with all my heart but i really wish neither build or any of the cast will ever have anything to do with the writers anymore.

Edit: this post was written before poi came out with her screenshots. I legit don’t know what to think anymore, but one thing i can tell you for sure: until this whole mess well be cleared, i will not show any kind of support for neither of them

Edit 2: i will riot if build doesn’t get the justice he deserves

#rant #build jakapan #sorry i had to get it out of my chest #putting this under cut because of reasons #tw abuse #tw sex assault

[plan-3-tmars]

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

#thats not even getting into the gay theory implications btw #bar kazui staring at audience kazui with the lyrics “all these memories and you / only if i could erase them” #because his crush on his friend literally haunts him and his relationship with hinako (the green apple) #confessing his love to his friend “just so its out in the open” because he so desperately needs to get it off his chest #most likely having his feelings not reciprocated as his friend his married and staring at his wife #who then transitions into hinako / wondering why he does not feel the same happiness with her than he does at the bar #because he's lying to himself and he's lying to her #he *knows* that their relationship is not happiness and yet he hides in denial #because it's not like he will be able to find his happiness anyway as his friend is already taken #sorry #this doesnt rlly make sense and i'm aware of that i wish i could beam what im trying to get at into ur head #unfortunately its nearly 11pm and when i was brainstorming this idea i had a nap and NEVER WROTE MY THOUGHTS DOWN (biggest mistake ever) #someone with a bigger vocabulary pls come and pick this up and explain it better thank youuuy #anyway just hope you get what im trying to say #thats all #sorry for the ramble in tha tags but also this is my house so #milgram #kazui mukuhara #hinako mukuhara #milgram theory #ig i never know what to title these

[chrollohearttags]

and lemme touch y’all’s hand when I say this…when I say you are not special, I mean that. Meaning I don’t write or reblog with ur feelings in mind. This is my blog where every insane, intrusive and inappropriate thought can come spewing out at any given moment. Where my stories are a love letter to myself and the other blk women I write for. I am not a machine meant to constantly pump fics out for your enjoyment. I am a regular girl who uses this as my lil safe space of the hellscape we call the internet. Some of y’all got the game fucked up in thinking that being a writer is who we are and not just something we do. If you don’t like the way I or someone else uses this space, then leave the same way you came. I suffer from ADHD burnout horribly and I may go for days at a time without posting actual work bc my brain is in a fog and I can’t focus. When it begins to feel like a chore, I back out for a few days and if that’s not acceptable, then I truly don’t know what to tell you. Not apologizing for that shit.

#this includes commissioned work as well #I paid for a piece of my own on my birthday and I honestly have to say I felt as if I got robbed for the quality of work #so I will never feel bad for taking longer to flesh out a better story esp when it’s being paid for #regardless of if that person paid $5 or $25 #and in general #I will take as long as I need to make the best fic possible #but I won’t burn myself out to do so #sorry not sorry #cherry chats 🍒 #had to get this off my chest #and don’t come under my rb’s commenting stupid shit either #if sum don’t apply let it fly

[greensaplinggrace]

Alina didn’t choose to have her powers taken from her and she didn’t intend for them to be lost. You can’t say Alina chose her ending when the ending was deliberately forced on her without her consent, and she is actively upset by this.

It has been said before and I will say it again:

Alina explicitly wants her power in the books. She has conflicting feelings on it, which is normal, but does on multiple occasions admit to herself as well as others that she likes the power, that she wants it, and that she does not wish to lose it.

This is not due to a lack of conceptualizing Alina liking her powers and Alina’s greed for power as separate things. This has nothing to do with Alina’s greed. Outside of Alina’s greed for power, she comes to love this part of herself she neglected all her life because she was raised by people who could not understand her and who taught her to be wary of her own people and culture, so much so that she subconsciously avoided dealing with who she actually was.

Equating Alina’s power with her greed is exactly what those oppressing grisha do in justification for their hate crimes. You are using the same logic as a cast of people set on genocide and oppression. Not to mention the direct connection between grisha being based on jewish persecution and how the thing that defines grisha is equated with greed, which is a highly common antisemitic depiction of jewish people.

Alina is the ethnic jew raised by goyim. She is the repressed queer child of homophobic parents. She is everybody who only got to realize and express themselves after finding and connecting with their community late in life.

A story about a persecuted minority hunted because of what makes them different ending with your main character, who is a part of that minority, losing that piece of themselves and being forced to assimilate, is incredibly problematic. And anybody who makes this criticism about “Alina choosing” forgets that Alina is a character who’s only choices are those made for her by the person who wrote her.

Another thing that people constantly misrepresent is that Alina is not happy to be stripped of her powers at the end, and explicitly expresses sadness, grief, rage, and anger about the loss of her powers. This is separate from her finding happiness despite her grief, but the grief never goes away. Which means that anybody saying she was happy to lose her powers or chose to do so is factually incorrect. Her agency is stripped from her in the end.

She doesn’t get to choose the peaceful life because the peaceful life is chosen for her. This is not a natural ending to a meaningful character arc of self realization. This is the regressive and brutal shafting of a character who’s arc was abused at every turn, and who’s actual development was walked backwards. Not because of her powers but because she is prevented from ever finding peace with her powers by the narrative.

She doesn’t have to fight a war ‘because of her powers’. She has to fight a war because her people are fucking oppressed. Laying the blame on what makes her different instead of the people who have singled her out because she is different indicates a severe lack of understanding in regards to racism, persecution, and oppression.

Her powers didn’t become so corrupt that they failed her in the end. She didn’t see the consequences and choose peace to avoid them because she wasn’t allowed to see anything at all. Her path was decided for her before she could even look down the other.

People focus on Alina and her powers because that is the story. It is a story about realizing something crucial about yourself that has been kept from you and repressed your whole life. It is an incredibly important story to tell. It is a coming of age story about self realization and self actualization and finding agency after a life where you realize you had none.

Blaming Alina being grisha for why she is stripped of her grishaness is fundamentally flawed argument. If the greed for power was what was supposed to be punished, then she would only have lost that which she sought in her greed. And if a balance needed to be reached, then there would be just as many sun summoners as shadow summoners in the world. Because she lost more than that and because of the discordance in thematic symbolism, the message becomes a punishment not for “greed” (which shouldn’t have even been the message in the first place for a plot and setting like this), but for something else. It becomes a punishment for her being grisha and coming to love and accept herself for it. It becomes a punishment of reveling in one’s difference. It becomes a statement about living outside of the boxes society tries to place people in. It becomes a message about oppression and assimilation on the side of oppression and assimilation.

The most important criticism about the ending will always be about the framing of Alina losing her powers. Alina choosing peace and love over power as a message would only have been able to work if Alina had been able to choose it. And to do so she would have had to choose it when she still had her powers. That is the only progression her developmental arc of “choosing peace and love” could have taken if it didn’t want to become regressive and strip her completely of her agency.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #sab #alina starkov #sab salt #sab critical #ruin and rising #sab negativity #sab meta #myramblings #i need to get this off my chest before i explode #this is a vagueblog yes im sorry i had to put all of this frustration somewhere im sorry #this isn't worded very well but i am at my wits end #hopefully after i make this i can go back to focusing on the positive things that i actually like about sab #i actually dont mind the ending (it isn't as if cheap endings dont exist) #but when people come out and say it was good for alina or that she liked it or that the message was in any way a good one? #when it was actively harmful and entirely regressive? #no #alina's arc is a regressive one #which isn't exactly bad #but when it's framed as GOOD well... then there's some bs going on #fandomcourse #negative #negativity #antisemitism mention tw #genocide mention tw

[in-the-abyss]

rip jellie. she was such a good kitty, and she will be remembered for many years after her passing. she may be gone, but her memory remains with all of us. every time we play minecraft and find one of those grey and white cats, we will remember her: "and the universe said I love you because you are love"

#sorry for the sadpost but i had to get it out of my chest #cw animal death #jellie the cat #jellie my beloved <3 #hermitcraft

[koolaidashley]

Hmm thinking of it bc of a tweet I saw so I’ll say it rq just in case even thought I’m not sure it’s relevant bc it’s important to me

04 Leo blindness will not be reversed or taken away or healed or anything at any point in the plot. I know some media’s like 2 give a character a disability then “heal” it later as like a victory point or reverse it to have some emotional moment or whatever but ..I don’t like that :/

Being blind is just a part of being Leo. I’m not gonna take it away from him 🤧

#tmnt 04 #tmnt #04 leo #it’s just. very important to me #sorry if this is completly irrelevant #but I had to get it off my chest #I gave my main character a life altering disability #I’m not gonna pussy out of it #doing my very best to represent 🙏🏻 #and irl ppl don’t get plot armor healed of thier issues #so neither will Leo

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33

i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute

anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am

vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!

william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)

i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!

dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?

also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else

#very tempted to add a thing about the greats to vyncents section but i am not going to #anyway do u think it was weird for him to have the people he idolized in his brain. they knew things he thought #they felt things he felt they probably talked about it its no wormnder he keeps his emotions close to his chest etc etc etc #anyway. #im projecting a little bit on all of these can you tell. dont take any of this as canon i am fully like. #oh boy how can i put aspects of my godawful mental health practices on my favorite little superhero teens. #especially ashe be he has not a whole lot of canon basis . sorry ashe you get my emotion switch #asks #intertexts #friends!!! #jrwi pd #um!!! sorry i went off on the second william paragraph i think about the early stages of him gaining his powes a lot. #its the danny phantom in me #also that last sentence was especially mean of me sorry. i did yhat on purpose :) i love to be evil #OKAY. im going to bed for real now. i had 2 get this out of my system before i slept on it and forgot all the thoughts fresh in my mind

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

#diction dump #joey drew #batim #HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL #SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN #JUST SHUT!! UPP!!! #okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much #he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE. #like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!! #oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh #he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right. #meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?! #“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE? #and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake. #that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING! #why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love? #and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster #and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around. #so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD. #phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.

[romansmartini]

favorite phenomenon of all time is media inception. for example in midnight mass riley has an x files poster in his bedroom and midnight mass features annabeth gish notable for her role as monica reyes in the x files

#the x files #midnight mass #sorry for posting about a show that came out 2 years ago i just found these cleaning out my desktop and had to get it off my chest #while we're on the subject of the x files though #jakob sex education's x files tattoo featured in a sex scene with gillian anderson you will always be famous

[rabble-dabble]

A Karkat who isn't out to his friends about his blood color yet has to go to John to get patched up because all humans bleed red and thus John wouldn't think it's weird that he does too.

question but is it homoerotic to patch up your fellow friendleader so tenderly when he trusts no one else to and also linger your touch but only slightly subtly so as not to alert him to your pining gaze?

#homestuck #hs #john egbert #karkat vantas #johnkat #answered #anon #evil john anon #doodleart #'rabble the bandages are around his chest does that mean he's trans-' YES. YES IT DOES. ALWAYS #i have never binded my chest this way so sorry if it looks off!! #BUT I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS AYOOOOOOOOOO #this is so tender to me btw. john gently wrapping him up. touching his shoulder while karkat looks away. karkat being comfortable (kinda) #to have his back turned. GAH #also sorry for not answering for so long!!! i think im in an art block. that or im depressed. #(the answer is both LMAO) #ive been trying to get healthcare for a while so i can set up stuff like therapy and getting diagnosis. and work has been on my ass #truth be told tho i just didnt have the energy for anything...creative lately? #i havent really had a bad dip in my mental health like this for a couple of years now so this is kinda hard to cope with #but just know im not forgetting this blog i promise!! art may just come out way less now #but im still trying so dont think im gonna drop and disappear lmao

[these-emo-thoughts]

I'm sorry not sorry but the double standards that some have towards these ships in Only Friends is baffling. Why are people so upset with Boeing inserting himself in the middle of Sand and Ray but didn't care when he did it for Top and Mew? Why do his actions increase the hatred on another person/couple? (Honestly there are a LOT of double stardards there but it requires a separate post). My main point is, if you're going to hate on Top and Mew, don't do it because of Boeing as that's truly a 'nothing' reason. Do you dislike them because you find them boring? I can't relate, but okay, I understand, it's not for everyone. Do you dslike them because you can't forgive Top? Sure, valid, he did a bad thing and some people wouldn't want to be with him even as he's self improving. Do you dislike them because you are frustrated with Mew being unable to make up his mind? I have many things to say about that but I'll hold my tongue because again, because for a lot of people, this is also valid. But don't hate them because of Boeing and especially don't hate them because Boeing might ruin your favourite ship since that has nothing to do with them. He's simply plot device for drama, which is what this show is all about.

Edit: This is just a rant, not an attack on any couple or anyone. I'm one of the people who like all these ships and want them all to get together in the end. I'm simply trying to enjoy my damn drama, lol.

#only friends the series #only friends #rant post #sorry i just had to get that off of my chest #ofts ep11 #ofts #ofts spoilers #sandray #topmew #boeing #not a call out just an observation

[chrollohearttags]

gonna get a lil personal and rant bc therapy is expensive and talking to black parents abt mental health is a fate worse than death. ☠️☠️

negl, I feel like I’m in need of a self care day or some time off. Don’t remember the last time I’ve traveled or gone somewhere besides the grocery store. Like I’m feeling super isolated and lonely as of late. It’s frustrating seeing all of these people get to do things. Watching people have groups of friends to hang out with and partners while I’m just circling my house/town with no one to call a friend and def not a potential relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful to work from home and run my own business + I really wouldn’t trade it for a thing but it seems to be all I do, and there’s no reward tbh. Granted, I’m blessed to be able to do so and I’m more than glad to help my family bc if I were living with roommates or by myself, I’d be screwed so I really don’t mind that. I’m blessed to have my family. But I feel a little frustrated because it feels like I’m the only one who does. Both me and my brother still live at home and it’s bc of that, that I can afford to run a business, work shorter hours, etc but I’m also the only one that works, buys groceries, helps with bills and house expenses…and he has pretty severe Crohn’s disease so I try to be empathetic and understand that he can’t do physical work the way he used to but it also feels as if he doesn’t try to do anything to take care of himself or anyone else. And admittedly, I’ve enabled a lot of his behavior bc I’ve felt bad that he can’t get out of the house as much. I paid for his gaming computer, I buy him food, games and pretty much anything else. I even sacrificed getting my vehicle fixed so that he could have a $300 computer part bc it made him happy. My parents are essentially disabled (my mom’s been dealing with complex migraines for years and my dad had horrible COVID) but even so, we all pull our weight except for him. Idk, I don’t wanna sound selfish or ungrateful but sometimes, I wish I could pour a little into myself. I wish I had somebody to take care of me and tell me it’s all good. I just want to be helpful and useful so I feel as if I’m not contributing then I’m doing something wrong but for once, I just want to have a little something left for myself.

#sorry for the long winded rant #and sadness #I just needed to vent #and get this off my chest #literally had a breakdown Thursday night lmaoo #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m just a little burned out #but I’m good!! #don’t worry about me #cw vent #cw rant

[solradguy]

Nap time​

#sol badguy #guilty gear #my stuff #Sorta kinda requested by theskyprism (thank u) #I originally wanted to draw maybe baby Sin sleeping on his chest with him but then I realized I had never drawn a child before #and wasn't about to draw one just for this rofl Sorry baby Sin enjoyers.... #The original idea for this came from a moment I had back in 2012 or so #I was laying on my bed reading this Asimov scifi stories anthology and the sun was kinda coming through my bedroom window #It was early summer and about a year after I had just gotten out of a really shitty situation #and the sun coming through the window and the warmness of late spring made me realize it had been about a year #and it dawned on me then that everything was going to be ok after all #So I tried kinda channeling that warm feeling here but this is already getting kinda sappy so I'll leave it at that lol #I like to think that Sol had an 'everything's going to be ok' moment #Catch me projecting onto my favorite blorbos instead of going to make dinner ahahah

[cryptids]

.

Finding out someone in tf fandom I had a bad personal experience with earlier this year is apparently a huge islamophobe who fully supports the Israeli government's actions and reblogs from ppl who use terms like "leftoid".... damn ok....... even though we were never following each other on tumblr at least I can block them without feeling guilty now I guess. But it's weird and upsetting to learn someone I've had conversations with was like this and I had no idea

#sorry this is so out of context and vague djfhds i just had to get it off my chest

[violetrains]

No you don't understand, there are several types of headaches and yes they can and often will overlap. There are a n x i e t y headaches. There are "I'm sooo sleeeeep depriveeeed ahhh😫" headaches. There are headaches caused by random changes in the weather. There are "I am currently trying to get used to my new prescription glasses glasses🤓👌" headaches . There are the "I'm just overall exhausted physically and mentally" headaches. There are "I tried to hold back crying😃👍" headaches. There are "I USED TOO MUCH OF MY BRAIN POWER" headaches. There are "blue screen hurts eyes and for some reason head too" There are "tOo muCH sOcIAl InTeRacTIoN!!!" headaches. There are

#headache #chronic pain #stress #anxiety #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #sensitivity #had to get this off my chest #is it just me? #add on if i left out any #im sorry if you can relate to this #disability