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what-gs-watching · 5 months

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“Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.

Sorry.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

That’s not much better, is it.

I just finished The Giggle and I’m sobbing over the fact that 10 finally gets everything he was chasing and I am clearly unwell. I knew this episode was going to break me but I didn’t realize how far they were going to push us over the cliff. Like. You don’t get this in Doctor Who, not ever. That’s almost the appeal of it, sometimes.

But Russell T Davies just ripped out everyone’s heart in the best possible way. I really can’t.

Blorp. Okay.

The thing is….the thing is - I think everybody needed that. How satisfying must this be for David Tennant? And Catherine Tate? How are they not fit to bursting right now? That was so beautiful, gang. And they must be so proud.

But I’m gonna focus. Also, didn’t I say catharsis? Jesus christ, you can’t get more than that. I’m pretty sure they hit the fucking limit on catharsis. Wow. I’m a mess.

Focusing, though: wherein the Doctor and Donna have to say humanity from their own terrible base instincts because the Toymaker loves a good game.

So we open on Soho in 1925 (which, is anyone else wondering where A.Z. Fell & Co is in relationship to the street they’re showing? No? Just me? Okay cool) and we’re taken into a creepy toy shop where we meet Neil Patrick Harris doing a super weird German accent and being a general creep. He sells a dummy to a man who says he needs it for his boss, who is around the corner working on inventing the concept of television broadcasting for the very first time.

They pop the head off the dummy and leave it in a setup surrounded by a ton of lightbulbs and they go into another room to test it all out - and it works. But the heat from the bulbs is hot, too hot, which is why they needed an object, not an actual person. But of course, the creepy toyseller was obviously up to no good, and as the broadcast continues, the dummy head melts and lets out a terrible little giggle. Clearly, we’re in trouble.

Back in the present, the Doctor and Donna are in the streets of London trying to figure out what’s happening. Some guy argues with 14 who tries to stop him from attacking a car, saying that his taxes pay for the street but he doesn’t drive and he has the right to do whatever he wants with the roadway, thank you. Perfectly sound logic, and the guy is belligerent, saying two days ago everyone in the world decided they were right and wouldn’t listen to reason. So that’s exciting.

Soon enough, UNIT finds them and they’re told to get Wilf somewhere safe while the Doctor and Donna follow them to headquarters. Where we finally get our eyes on Kate Lethbridge-Stewart who I absolutely love, she’s the “bitches get shit done” Tina Fey gif come to LIFE. Bitch will always be the new black, and that’s Kate, and exactly how she runs UNIT, loading it full of equally brilliant women, including Shirley who we’d met when dealing with The Meep, and Melanie, who was a companion to the 6th Doctor,

Who run the world? GIRLS.

Anyway, we get into explanation mode - two days ago there was a spike in aggression worldwide, the same spike across the board. It’s affecting everyone, even the people in government, but UNIT has a fun device that helps keep everyone wearing one sane. And Kate decides she’s going to demonstrate how fucked up the situation is - she asks them to take her device offline, so they do.

And she proceeds to spew a bunch of terrible things at the Doctor - how he’s an alien with two hearts that have infiltrated them and can’t be trusted, and then she takes shots at poor Shirley who’s in a goddamn wheelchair and it’s really gross to watch, it’s one of the worst parts of humanity and she tries to avoid having her device turned back on, but they finally subdue her. It’s some serious shit, gang.

They say that the spikes aren’t coming from outside, they’re in everyone’s head, except for Donna, and Melanie, who have spent significant time in the TARDIS. And for extra fun, two days ago a satellite went up that finally connected the entirety of the earth to the internet, and now, everyone has access to a screen.

And of course, Donna is working something out about the spike they’ve found, saying that she spent six months teaching Rose how to play the recorder; she thinks it’s a tune. Melanie sings it out and it strikes with everyone, like they’ve known it for years. And then Shirley finds it, it’s not a tune, it’s the laugh from the dummy. The Doctor figures out that the image has been burnt into television itself, into all the screens everyone is attached to every minute of everyday.

As they’re getting the date of the exact transmission, 14 gives Kate permission to shoot the satellite down, even though it’ll start an international incident. He’s the president of the world, and I love that. Her relief is palpable.

He also has a little moment with Melanie, which is so sweet. I love that whenever he rolls up to someone he hasn’t seen in decades, he always mutters the kindest little “hello.” Just for them. His attention completely focused. It must feel like a sun shining directly on you. I literally have a collection of David Tennant saying “hello” in my mind, ugh it’s so something.

During all of this, Kate is telling Donna she did well working out the spikes, and she offers her a job at UNIT once everything has settled. Pure Donna, she asks how much the salary is, and then counters with DOUBLE the amount and 5 weeks paid vacation which is immediately accepted. BAMF, BAMF, BAMF. Get what’s yours, baby girl.

So much going on. Okay, so they go back to 1925, and 14 is all about what they need to do but Donna wants to hear about Mel because he’s never once mentioned her. He never does, he never talks about them. Rose a bit, yes, but usually no. Not ever. And he reminds her he’s old as hell and he can’t just chat about everyone, but it’s more than that. She tells him he never stops moving, she says “You are staggering along. Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out” and that’s the crux of the matter, friends. 14 is wonderful, we’re all in love with him, but he’s definitely bleeding out everything. All over the place. And it’s so sad to see him so run down. But, classic 10, he ignores her.

They find the toyshop of course, and the Doctor recognizes the Toymaker. Who immediately starts a game of catch with the Doctor, because he’s a fucking weirdo like that, and 14 looks incredibly determined and also freaked out but Donna puts a stop to it, and the Toymaker disappears.

They follow him deeper into the shop and surprise! They find themselves in a never ending hallway full of doors, and each door just leads to another hallway. Which should be impossible, but we’re told that the Toymaker is only governed by the rules of play, so he can basically do whatever the eff he wants.

Donna gets the story out of him as they wander - the Doctor had once gone into another realm, where he played a game against the Toymaker and apparently won, but he said he made a terrible mistake. Poor kiddo is really raw all of a sudden, he says “I'm always so certain. I'm all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord. Take that away... Take away the toys... what am I? What am I now?” and then he tells Donna, “I don’t know…if I can save your life this time.”

Scrawny little 14 all exposed and helpless and I told you, he’s bleeding all over the place, and she just tells him, “Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS, and she’s definitely gonna save him, just not in the way he thinks. And it’s so good.

Speeding ahead, they keep wandering through the halls and then they get separated of course and Donna gets attacked by the dummy that was supposed to be the original dummy’s wife and his creepy babies but she beats them obviously, and the Doctor gets taunted by the Toymaker but they find each other eventually.

And then they’re pulled into a room with a little stage where the Toymaker puts on a puppet show about exactly what has happened to the Doctor’s companions since he traveled with Donna. And it’s so sad to listen to him try to justify everyone’s fate - Amy died of old age, but in a time and place she was never meant to. Clara was killed by a bird but technically saved in her last moments of life. Bill was turned into a cyberman, but her consciousness lived on. No happy endings, for the Doctor and his friends, not ever.

To stop the show, the Doctor challenges the Toymaker to a game. And Donna’s afraid the Toymaker will cheat, but it seems the rules of the game bind his entire existence: the Doctor will either win or lose. So they cut a deck, and the highest card wins. And it’s the Toymaker, with a king.

But the Doctor finds a loophole - he won the first game, the Toymaker one the second game, and that prompts another, the best of three. Which the Toymaker accepts, but he wants that game to be played back in the present.

Meanwhile at UNIT headquarters they’re shooting down the new satellite, and the Doctor and Donna appear to try and figure out a way to force the Toymaker out of the universe they way he’d come, but it’s too late. 14 is explaining something and then “Spice Up Your Life” is playing, and I’m sorry but L O L at the entire dance scene with NPH that unfolds. It’s hilarious, and creepy, and it definitely goes on too long, but I’ll allow a little pageantry. He turns UNIT’s bullets into flower petals and it’s a little terrifying, how much power he possesses and that’s the point. And then as soon as he’s arrived, he disappears again.

Just kidding though, the Toymaker is out on the platform where the beam they used to take down the satellite is still set up and ready to roll, and he’s got control of it. So everyone of course rushes out to try and stop him.

The Doctor tries to talk him down, of course. He asks why he’s choosing to be so horrible when he can do so many good things, and the Toymaker reminds him he’s just a vastness that good and bad don’t apply to, only winning and losing. The Doctor tells him he’s a vastness that contains so much more, and then he suggests they take the game away from earth, that they can play across the cosmos.

He says “we can be…celestial” - and I’m dying inside. Is anyone else wondering what Aziraphale’s reaction to that sentence would have been? So many little bits of Good Omens, it’s slightly painful.

Also, I appreciate that the Doctor is always trying to turn enemies into his playmates. 10 did it with the Master, too. It makes sense, he’s always off with humans but why wouldn’t entities that are more in line with what he is, want to travel with him? They always say no. Because y’all are too obsessed with your own drama to recognize what a fucking opportunity that is. Idiots.

So yeah, that doesn’t work and the Toymaker declares that since he played the first two games with different doctors, he wants to play the final game with the next Doctor. AND HE SHOOTS 14 WITH THE GIANT FUCKING LASER.

It’s agonizing. It’s terrible. And Donna and Mel rush to his side as he starts to regenerate, because they don’t want him to be alone. They tell him he’s not dying, and they don’t care who he is, because every version of him is fantastic. And that’s what he needed to hear the first time. Every time, really.

And then he says “It's time. Here we go again. Allons-y!” (squee!) but…nothing happens. So he asks them to pull, yank on his arms, and they’re like ‘um’ but they do and THEN:

Out pops 15. And I’m losing my fucking mind.

Here’s the thing, gang. There is one sure fire way to make the new Doctor capture everyone’s heart, and that is apparently to let him interact with 14. Because everything that happens after this is incredible.

15 says “You're me. No, I'm me. I think I'm really, really me. Oh-ho-ho, I am completely me!” and he tells 14 to push, and they’re both like ‘will this work?’ and they’re laughing and they push against each other and they’re two separate entities and it’s amazing.

14 obviously was all done up in his traditional suit (minus the coat) so now suddenly 15 is wearing the dress shirt, and the tie, and their charming little tightie whities, and the CONVERSES! And 14’s still got the pants, the undershirt, the vest, completely barefoot. I’m delighted and crying my eyes out.

So apparently they’ve bi-generated, which is supposed to be a myth and 15 asks Mel what she thinks and she says “I think you’re beautiful” and 14 pipes up, “still beautiful?!” and it’s all so good but the Toymaker is exasperated and then both Doctor’s say “I challenge you to a game” but he doesn’t like that. He’d caused the bi-generation and he doesn’t want to play both of them but he can’t say no.

What follows is the highest stakes game of catch that has literally ever existed. 14 and 15 are ducking and bobbing and weaving and catching and it’s ridiculous but also so filled with tension; whoever drops the ball, loses. David Tennant is a 50-something year old spindly noodle and oh my god he’s just crushing the entire thing, I could watch this all day.

But someone has to lose, and thank god, eventually it’s the Toymaker. They decide their prize is going to be banishing him from existence forever. He gets folded up into a little square of douchebag, shoved in a box, and left to rot in the deepest recesses of UNIT’s storage.

And it’s wonderful! But 14 can’t help but think of all of the people that died. And here is where 15 worms into everyone’s heart for the rest of eternity: he reminds 14 that he can’t save everyone, and then he grabs him into a hug and he says “Come here. I've got you. Yeah? It's OK. I'm here” and he kisses 14’s forehead.

It’s what the Doctor has always needed, but never got. A reminder from himself that what he does matters, that he’s good and he tries and it’s okay when things don’t go perfectly, but he does save people. He deserves acceptance from himself, and if he can’t give it in his own mind, he can get it from someone else who is literally him. It’s fucking beautiful.

They head back to the TARDIS and 14 shows 15 all the bells and whistles and 14 wonders how it’s going to work, the two of them? 15 makes him stop his anxious rambling, tells him “you're thin as a pin, love. You're running on fumes.” He keeps talking, about all of the things they’ve seen and done. The Pandorica, The Time War, losing River and Rose. The fact that Sarah Jane has died. 14 says, “I loved her” and 15 says “I loved her.”

15 reminds him that they haven’t stopped, not for a second. But he’s fine, because 14 had fixed himself. He says “We’re doing rehab out of order.” And it’s true; 15 has taken in everything that Donna has been trying to get 14 to understand, he has the sweetness and the willingness to express his feelings that 14 finally learned, and now he’s putting his foot down, to himself. His old self. He’s telling 14 that he has to stop.

But 14 doesn’t know how, and Donna tells him that he just has to exist, every single day, in and out. Over and over. And that’s the adventure. She says “I've worked out what happened. You changed your face... and then you found me. Do you know why?”

“To come home.”

If you didn’t lose it at that, you might need to examine your inner workings. It’s a punch to the gut. And it’s absolutely true. It’s the one thing the Doctor has never had, but now he can. And the way 14 asks “Do you mean…he flies off?” is so sad and small, and deflating, like he can’t imagine being pried away and made to stop and just be and exist. It’s terrifying for him. And he knows he can’t leave the TARDIS, it would hurt.

15 has an idea though, he thinks they might have a little bit of time, still being governed by a state of play, so he produces a sledge hammer and he hops out of the TARDIS, followed by 14 and Donna.

He wields the hammer and he says “You get a prize, honey. And here is mine!” and he SWINGS against the TARDIS, and out pops another perfect little blue police box (and he runs a hand down the first one, saying “I’m sorry!”). Two TARDIS’s, two doctors.

(I’m also swooning over 15’s use of endearments - love, honey - he’s gonna kill me.)

14 goes in to inspect the new TARDIS, he’s reverent almost, and it’s much the same, but it’s got a jukebox. He wanders back to his own TARDIS and 15 hops into the new one and powers her up and he’s definitely about to leave without a goodbye but 14 bounds back in with Donna to get what they’re owed. Which is hugs and a little sass. 15 says “off you pop, old man” and I love that, but they remind him he’s the older of the two now, so he says “Okay, kid. I love you. Get out!”

15 is full of the love the Doctor never gets to give freely, but he’s ready now, and I’m so excited to watch that unfold. It’s so perfect and beautiful that 14 is the one who gets to feel it first. Baby boy needs so much more, and he’s gonna get it.

And so, off they both go. 15 to his endless adventures, 14 to something even more scary.

The last scene is a dinner at Donna’s, wherein 14 is telling a ridiculous story about using his eyebrows to communicate (Crowley, Crowley, Crowley…) and it’s just banter and it’s so good. We find out that he’s taking Mel on little adventures in the TARDIS, even Rose a time or two. He says “Just can’t turn down my favorite niece” and oh, it’s so lovely. He says “That’s what you are. With my best friend, my brother-in-law, the evil stepmother, and mad auntie Mel.”

The desperate wanderer, a man who has run for thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years in a multitude of faces, finally has a family.

Donna tells him he doesn’t have to stay forever, and then she asks him if he misses it out there. And his face, oh y’all his face as he says “The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years... and now I know what for. This. I've never been so happy in my life”, it’s EVERYTHING.

Never, not once, has the Doctor gotten this. Usually, things work out just enough that it barely soothes the pain of what was lost. Never has he won so fully, so completely. Donna restored, and the chance to finally relish what he’s been protecting for so long. And no one deserved it more than 10 and 14.

The Doctor doesn’t have to be all hard edges and fire and war and unrelenting motion. He can be soft and vulnerable and he can accept help and he can love.

And I didn’t even realize I wanted to see that. Doctor Who is like letting yourself believe in a higher power, a little bit. Believing in a species that maybe isn’t beholden to all of the disgusting emotions we have to deal with, he’s strong when we can’t be. He’s strong all the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever connected as much to an arch as I did to this one. We can’t be strong all the time. No one can.

Watching the Doctor stop, and be taken care of for once, I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Catharsis, on all sides. For everyone. I needed all of that way more than I’m ever willing to admit.

No matter what’s going on in the real world, at least now, somewhere out there 14 is hanging out at Donna’s house, telling silly stories and helping cook dinner and teaching Rose a bunch of science she should never get her hands on, and that’s satisfying in a way I can’t explain.

Basically, I’m so thankful for Doctor Who. And I can’t wait to see what happens next…

#what g's watching #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #tenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #donna noble #doctor who spoilers #david tennant #the giggle spoilers #ncuti gatwa #catherine tate

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m-jelly · 2 months

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The bunny's keeper - Chapter 6

@ladycheesington <3

Levi x fem! reader.

Modern AU, fluff, romance, falling in love, Levi has tattoos and piercings, bad boy Levi, protective Levi,

In this chapter: The team work together to set up and repair a community causing the mayor and the media to be interested in Erwin. Levi takes you on a date to a theme park, but while he's there he has to protect you from Seymore's men.

Massive thank you to @ladycheesington for helping me flesh this story out and helping with the side plot of Erwin and how the gang started <3

part 7

Erwin wiped his brow as he looked out at the park. The ground had been prepared and now it was time to start putting in the play equipment for children. He hummed a little as his and Levi’s men brought everything out and laid it down on the ground so they could map it all out. He glanced down at the plans when they were presented and assessed if they were correct. After a few alterations, the work began again.

Orders were called out, and teams worked together to create different playground equipment. The locals joined in building up the park for the kids. When you first arrived, the aim was to work on the shops and homes. After doing that, it was all about making sure the kids had a place to play. Everyone made it fun with music and a few people dancing and singing along.

While serving drinks and snacks, you noticed that a news team had turned up along with a very curious mayor. You put on your best smile and welcomed them. You handed them an information leaflet with everything Erwin was doing. “We made these to help the locals know what will be coming and what we have done.”

The mayor looked it over. “Incredible. Why is he doing this?”

You smiled sweetly at him. “Well, we all come from backgrounds like this. We all came from poor backgrounds or loss. We were neglected because bad people took advantage of how desperate we were. So, we raised money, put some of our own money together and started helping the community. We give them the tools to help themselves and we listen.”

He looked through the leaflet. “This is impressive. I must speak to Erwin.”

You pointed over to Erwin. “He’s just there helping put up a large slide. I’ll take you over.” You walked with him to Erwin. “Erwin? I have some water for you and the mayor here wants to talk to you.”

Erwin downed some of the water. “Thank you.” He smiled at the mayor. “Lovely to meet you, sir. I am sorry about how I’m dressed.”

The mayor chuckled. “No need to apologise! You’re working hard. Shall we have a chat?”

You gave him a thumbs up. “Go, Erwin.”

Levi slid up next to you with a little girl in his arms. “That the mayor?”

You nodded. “Yeah.” You saw the little girl. “Oh, hello there. You having fun today?”

She grinned. “Yes, Miss!”

Levi adjusted her. “She said she was feeling a little unwell. I was thinking she needs some sugar.”

You nodded and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie. “This should help you, little one.”

Levi smiled and looked after her. “That nice? My fiancée baked them.”

She giggled. “They’re yummy! Thank you.”

You grabbed a cup. “Do you want some juice as well?”

“Thank you.”

You cleaned her face after she was done. “There we go. All better.”

Levi put the girl on her feet. “You feel all better now?”

She grinned. “Yes, thank you.”

Levi ruffled her hair. “Go take a cookie back to your mummy, okay?”

She took another cookie from you. “You’ll be a great mummy and daddy someday!”

“Thank you.” He waved to her before turning to you. “She’s right.”

You hummed a laugh. “Is she now?”

He walked closer and wrapped his arms around you. “I think we would.”

You kissed him and purred. “Me too.” You smiled a little. “You’re doing amazing. This place looks so good.”

Levi smiled as he tangled his fingers in your hair. “Thank you.”

You mewled in delight as he kissed you passionately. You pulled back a bit causing him to kiss and bite at your jawline and neck. You started panting as your body began tingling. You glanced to the side and noticed the news team were locked in on you and Levi. It seemed like they were trying to show that Erwin’s gang was full of love.

Levi picked you up making you giggle. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

You gazed down at your man. “I can’t wait either.”

He carried you to a chair. He sat down and put you on his lap. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

You thought about what food was in the apartment. “Mm, I could do a jacket potato with beans. I’m sure we have everything in the home.”

Levi blushed a bit. “Well, we have more money. The work you, Erwin and I have been doing has paid off. So, we can go out for a date.”

Your eyes widened. “What? Really?”

He smirked. “Yeah.”

You got nervous when you thought about money. “That’s amazing, but um…we should save our money up.”

Levi caressed your cheek. “We have a great savings account, my bunny. One dinner out will not ruin that.”

You gazed at him with a twinkle in your eyes. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yes. Besides, I’ve told you not to worry about a thing. I’ll take care of you.”

You pouted a bit. “I want to take care of you though.”

He nuzzled his head against you. “I know. You take care of me so much. I eat like normal because of you. I take care of myself better because of you. I sleep like a healthy person should because of you. Fuck, brat, because of you this gang is now expanding and gaining power. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be looking after myself, Erwin would still be fighting against Mr Seymore and this gang would be tiny and not making a difference.”

You felt your cheeks burn. “I…you…umm…” You sighed. “You talk too highly of me.”

“I mean every single word, my lovely bunny.”

You hugged Levi tightly. “Okay. I’d love to go on a date. What do you have in mind?”

He pinched your cheek and smiled a little. “How about a theme park?”

You gasped. “They’re expensive.”

He kissed you. “We can afford it.” He kissed you again. “Tonight, we will order some burgers and tomorrow we’ll go to a theme park.”

You pulled at Levi’s shirt. “Mm…okay.” You gazed at him. “As long as we can afford it.”

“We can.” He squeezed you. “I need some bunny therapy before I get back to work.”

You gave Levi a big hug. “I am so proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me.” He softly said your name. “I’m proud of you every single day.”

You smiled a little. “We better get to work otherwise we won’t be able to part.”

He stood you up and chuckled. “You’re right.” He rose to his feet and stretched. “Alright, let’s get to work.” He leaned over. “Kiss for luck.”

You lightly kissed Levi. “Good luck. You’re amazing and I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You smiled a little before turning back to your post. You handed water out and some food to those who needed it. You made sure you had a gentle smile on your face. When someone got a bit hurt, you gave them a bit of first aid. It was nice seeing everyone so active and having fun. As you chatted with people you saw a gang walking closer, a gang that looked rough. You clenched up a little and made sure you stood protectively in front of the kids.

You stared at them. “Have you come to help us?”

The leader eyed you a bit before smiling softly. “Yeah. We noticed what you were doing. We wanna help.” He thumbed to some ladies. “We cooked some shit too. Help people to keep going.”

“Thank you so much.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were wondering…your boss employing?”

You smiled brightly. “He sure is! He is currently talking with the mayor right now, but I can introduce you to my fiancé who is in charge of recruitment.” You waved to him. “Follow me.” You led the man to Levi. “Grumpy? This gentleman here is asking about joining.”

Levi shook the man’s hand. “Good to meet you. Let’s take a bit of a walk and talk things over.” You gave Levi a cute little wave before turning back to your table. You talked to the ladies and pointed to where they could put the food. You worked together and dished out a massive lunch for everyone. The court was lively with people enjoying themselves. It moved you to see how one small idea you had for Erwin turned into such a fun community event. The mayor was even helping put up a few things in the park. It all looked so perfect.

You pulled on your shoes and gazed at Levi. “Are you sure?”

Levi nodded. “Yes.”

You felt your cheeks burn. “Are you sure we can afford this?”

He walked up to you and held you. “Yes.”

You hummed in thought. “Okay, if you say so.”

He pulled you against him. “I swear, my cute bunny, we can afford this. We’ve come into a lot of money these past few months since you suggested the plan for us.” He cradled your face in his hands and showered it with kisses. “You saved us. You allowed us to afford so much more. Darling, your impact on the gang means we can afford a better place to live very soon.”

Your eyes widened. “Really?”

He nodded. “We can afford it now, but I’m saving up. My plan is once we take down Mr Seymore, we will absorb a lot of his power, which will result in a lot of money.”

You tapped your forehead against Levi’s chest. “I’m not that great.”

“You are incredible.”

You whined a bit. “You’re incredible too.”

He held your hand and pulled you outside to his bike. “Are you going to be okay walking around in your shoes and jacket?”

You nodded. “I think I’ll be okay.”

He kissed your cheek. “Okay. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Promise.”

He put your custom helmet on and climbed on first. “Come on, bunny.”

You climbed on and hugged him tightly from behind. “Ready to go.”

He started his bike up and sped off through the city and towards the theme park. It brought him joy having you hold him so tightly. When Levi came to a stop at a light, he felt his heart flutter when you rubbed his tummy and patted his thigh. He placed his gloved hand on your hand resting on his stomach. He chuckled when you pushed your hands up to his pecs and squeezed. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it before putting it back on his stomach so he could drive off.

You gripped Levi again as he moved once more until he finally reached the theme park. You climbed off first and pulled your helmet off. “Look at this place! I’m so excited.”

Levi took his helmet off and helped you pack your biker things with his in the side bags. “You deserve a treat.”

“What about you?”

He held your chin. “Spending a whole day with you is my treat.”

You pouted. “Levi.”

He smirked a bit before kissing you. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He pulled you along to the front and paid for tickets to get in. He glanced over at you to see you were worrying about the price again. “Darling bunny.” He pulled you against him. “I want you to only think about today, nothing else. Don’t let money enter your mind, okay?” He stopped and faced you. “Do it for me.”

You gazed deep into Levi’s eyes before releasing a sigh. “Okay.”

“Good girl.” He handed you the map. “So, where do you want to go?”

You looked over the map. “Mm, I don’t mind.”

“Come on, sweetheart, anything you want. There is nothing wrong with wanting things.”

You released a long sigh. “I know, I just find it hard sometimes.”

“I understand.”

You nibbled your lip and pointed. “How about we walk to the far side of the park and work our way forward?”

He kissed your temple. “Fantastic idea.”

You led the way through the park and over to the back end. You eyed up the place and noticed a massive ride. You pointed to it. “This one first.”

Levi stared at the massive ride. “You like the fast scary ones?”

“I do.”

He smirked. “Makes sense. I mean, I am scary and I ride my bike fast.”

You purred. “But you’re not fast in the bedroom.”

He nipped your neck. “You’re damn right.”

You stumbled into the line and giggled as people glanced at you. You hummed a laugh as Levi hugged you from behind. “When shall we start planning for the wedding?”

Levi hummed in thought. “I would love to marry you now. Maybe we’ll marry after we get our big break. I want to spend a lot of money on you.” He nuzzled your neck. “I want you to be treated like a Queen. I’ll buy you the best wedding dress ever.”

You rubbed Levi’s arms. “I don’t need a grand wedding. I’m happy to sign a piece of paper and go to a bar after.”

Levi squeezed you hard. “No.”

You laughed. “Okay, we’ll have a nice wedding.”

He kissed your cheek over and over. “Thank you.”

You moved to a seat and climbed into the spot before pulling down everything to keep you safe. You smiled as the attendant came along and checked to make sure you and Levi were strapped in. You leaned forward and took Levi’s hand. “You okay grumpy?”

Levi hummed as he played with your hand. “I’d rather you be sat on my lap, but yes I’m good.”

You giggled as he showered your hand with kisses. “Levi, focus. We’re moving up now.”

He took a knuckle of yours between his lips and lightly sucked. “I want to devour you.”

You whined a little as you felt a fire burn inside you. “Levi, stop making me feel horny.”

He nipped your finger a little before sitting back. “Here we go!”

Levi smiled when he heard your squeals of delight and delightful laughter. The fun you were having was so infectious. Laughter erupted from Levi as he too started to enjoy himself going around on the twists and bends. He was even smiling when the camera went off and took a picture of the two of you. Levi was sure it was going to be a beautiful picture.

He climbed out of the seat first before helping you. “Are you okay?”

You giggled. “Yes, but I think my hair isn’t.”

He played with your hair a little. “There you go.”

You gazed up at Levi. “Grumpy, your hair is a bit wild too.” You reached up and moved it. “So soft.”

Levi hummed in happiness. “I’m thinking of getting it cut. Maybe an undercut?”

You gasped in delight. “That’ll look so sexy!”

He chuckled at your words. “Well then, I’ll get it done. It’ll also be smarter.”

“You’ll look like a strong and handsome baddie.”

He picked you up a bit and walked with you as you laughed. “Well, I’m glad you will still adore me.”

“Always!”

He glanced over to two men eyeing you and him. Levi knew instantly they were probably Francis Seymore’s men. Levi needed to act without you knowing, to keep you safe and to keep you happy. He placed you on your feet and handed you some money. “Could you get me something to snack on? Maybe some freshly made doughnuts covered in sugar?”

You squealed in delight. “Yes!”

He smiled as you ran off with the money. “So, you here to scare me or kill me?”

A man moved closer to Levi and fixed his tie. “A lot of accidents can happen at theme parks.”

The other with sunglasses put his hands in his pockets. “So many hiding places too for bodies.”

Levi clicked his neck. “You’re right. I can see them all now.” Levi slammed his foot against the middle part of tie’s lower leg causing the bone to snap in half. He ignored the man’s scream as he dropped like a sack of potatoes. He quickly jabbed sunglasses in the neck with the side of his hand causing him to cough and choke. “Come near me and my fiancée again and I will show you what I can do when I’m furious.”

You paid for the doughnuts and loved how warm they were. You walked out and looked for a seat. “Mm…”

Levi walked up to you. “Come on, my bunny. I’ve found a nice spot for us.”

You held his hand and walked with him. A small sob and cry of pain drew your attention away from your man. “What happened to those two?”

Levi brought you to a nice table with a sweet view. “Accident, they happen all the time.”

You placed the bag on the table and stared at Levi. “Levi?”

He picked up one hot doughnut. “Do you trust me?”

“With all my heart.”

He released a long sigh. “They were bad men wanting to hurt us and they were linked to a certain someone.”

You leaned over and bit the doughnut before Levi could take a bite. “I know what you mean. I’m guessing you’re protecting me by not telling me.”

Levi stared at the bite mark. “Yes. You owe me some doughnut.”

You kissed him sweetly at first before slipping your tongue into his mouth. You pulled back a bit and smiled. “How was that?”

Levi growled. “Better than any doughnut I’ve had before.”

You giggled and picked up your doughnut. “About the guys you beat up, Don’t worry, okay? You don’t need to tell me in the future about everything you do and everyone you beat up. Just keep me in the loop a little.”

Levi took your hand and showered it with kisses. “I swear.”

You smiled a little. “We should keep eating before it gets cold.”

“We should.” Levi admired you as you ate with him. He hummed in delight when he saw how happy you were. “Ready to go on more rides?”

“Yes!”

He walked with you to the next ride. “So, I just wanna say if I see another guy or pair I need to take care of, I’ll just say it’s friendship time?”

You giggled. “Sounds cute, but good.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you moved around the park as you went on different rides. Levi relaxed a little and made sure to keep his eyes open for anyone getting close to you. He knew very well that during this time when Mr Seymore was being pressured was the most dangerous for you as a couple. Levi was not going to let anyone hurt a single hair on your head. You were more precious than all the gold in the world.

Levi kissed your neck. “I’ve gotta make some friends, okay?”

You gazed at him with cute doe eyes. “Be safe and be careful with your knuckles, okay?”

“Promise.” He handed you some coins. “Have fun in the arcade.”

You smiled at him. “Thank you.” You ran into the arcade and started on the claw machine. “Oh, cute cuddly!” You stuck your tongue out as you focused a little. “Come on, I will win you.” You gasped as the toy slowly slipped from the claw. “No! You’re so close!” You flinched when a man slammed against the claw machine causing the cuddly to drop into the dropdown box. “Yes!”

Levi panted as he pressed the man’s face against the glass. “Did you get it?”

Your eyes sparkled as you gazed at him. “I did, thank you.”

“Good.” He smiled at you. “Keep playing more.”

You grabbed your prize and hugged it. “You’re the best.”

He smiled at your cute smile. “You’re so sweet to me.” He released the man and sighed. “I just have friendship time, okay?”

You nodded. “I’ll keep playing.” You blew him a kiss then ran into the arcade more and started up another machine. You point your coin in and started playing a platform game. “Been so long since I’ve played something like this.”

A large bang echoed out in the arcade and the wall shook, you ignored it because you knew it was your man working hard to protect you. You stopped playing once you lost all your lives and moved on to the next game. You saw another game where the prize would be a bunny toy, so you were determined to win it for Levi. You tried a few times and started pouting because you weren’t winning.

You shrugged off your frustrations, took a deep breath and then went for it again. You squealed in delight when you won the bunny. “Perfect!”

Levi walked over to you as he panted a little. “Bunny, you okay?”

You smiled up at him. “Yes. I won this for you!”

He gazed at the bunny and smiled. “It’s you.” He took it from you. “Thank you so much.”

You fiddled with your bag and pulled out a tissue. You reached over and wiped some blood off Levi’s cheek. “You’re welcome. Is everything all sorted?”

He nodded. “No more issues for us.”

“So, how about we go have lunch?”

He smiled and took your hand. “Wonderful. What are you thinking?”

You pulled him along. “Umm, I’m thinking maybe we get hotdogs? Oh! Burgers.”

Levi chuckled. “How about we go to a place that does both?”

You hummed in delight. “Yes.”

He picked you up making you squeal with laughter. “Today has been wonderful.” He carried you to a nice restaurant and plopped you on a seat. “Could we do a bit of wedding talk?” He blushed a bit and shifted. “Also, future talk?”

You picked up the menu and played with it. “Of course.”

He released a long sigh. “Future talk.”

You nodded and reached over to Levi and placed your hand delicately on his. “You can tell me anything.”

He locked eyes with you. “How do you feel about kids?”

You smiled. “Are you asking me if I want babies with you?”

He shyly nodded. “Y-Yes.”

“Do you want them?”

“Y-Yes.”

You lifted his hand and kissed his fingers. “Good because I want them. I love kids and I’ve always wanted to be a mum. I know we’ll be amazing parents together.”

Levi welled up. “We will. I can’t wait to have a family together.”

“I can’t either.” You giggled. “So, wedding talk.”

He hummed in thought. “I would like something nice and pretty for you. Maybe we could have it in a forest or a pretty field.”

You smiled a little. “Both sound perfect. I’m just looking forward to our honeymoon.”

Levi perked up. “We can go abroad.”

You whined. “I don’t know if we could afford that.”

“Bunny.”

You released a sigh. “No thinking about money.”

“Good girl.” You kissed your cheek. “The honeymoon will be perfect.”

You smiled sweetly. “I’m also thinking about going camping sometime soon. What do you think?”

Levi nipped your finger. “I would love that. Just you, me, a beach somewhere and all the cuddles.”

“Perfect. We can go on a little road trip.”

“I plan something. We can do it in celebration of taking down a certain someone.”

You grinned. “Great! Now, let’s eat.”

#levi #aot levi #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi x y/n #fanfic #levi x you #snk levi #levi fanfiction #levi x reader #jelly fanfics #levi x yn #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n

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dutchvanwinkle · 1 year

Text

It Will Pass - Dutch x Reader

Happy New Year, friends! Decided to post this today bc I know the holidays can be tough for a lot of people, and in case you needed a cuddle from Dutch here it is <3

I wrote this with a chronically ill reader in mind, but it can read as mental health issues or just general unwellness.

Link in case you prefer your snugs on ao3.

Summary: You're having an inevitable off day, and it brings out Dutch's soft side.

Word count: 1,511

Content warnings: Pure fluff!

The thing with being unwell, in the manner that you were, was that you were able to function most of the time. You could get on with your day like everyone else, the ailments troubling your body being there, but not quite forceful enough to knock you off your feet. Of course, you were grateful that things weren’t bad enough to stop you from experiencing all life had to offer, but that didn't negate how exhausting it could be. On some days, it became too much to handle, and you could no longer muster the strength to keep your head up.

Today was such a day, ignoring the brightness of the landscape around you and instead pulling the blanket up to your chin and telling yourself five more minutes repeatedly until it was midday, when you still hadn’t shifted.

Dutch was off working, which most of the time you were thankful for since you didn’t want to fuss in front of him, especially when there was nothing he could do about it; him often having an insatiable desire to fix every problem presented to him. Unfortunately, yours were problems that couldn’t be fixed so easily. But today, your physical and mental exhaustion had extended to emotional, and an overwhelming sadness, tinted with hopelessness, washed over you that you just couldn’t shake. You knew you’d probably feel better if you got out of bed, enjoyed the fresh air, went for a walk, had something to eat... but you just couldn’t. You wanted to lie in bed and pretend the world around you was still for a while.

You curled up, cursing the parts of your body that protested and screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to quieten their pleas along with the thoughts in your mind.

“Sweetheart?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you watched Dutch enter the tent with a mug clutched in his hand and slow steam rising from it.

“Sorry, I’ll get up soon,” you murmured, guilt rising at the non-existent contributions you’d made to the gang that day. Usually, you’d be raring to do all the chores that needed doing, or join the others out on a job, or go into town to find leads of your own. What you hated the most was that you were more than capable of getting up and do those things, but your motivation had wavered to nothing.

Dutch only shook his head, his brow creasing as he took tentative steps towards you until he was sat on the edge of the bed. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” you shifted onto your back to avoid straining your neck to look at him, “I thought you were out for the day?”

“We got finished early,” he stated, leaning over to place the mug on the small table beside the cot, and remaining in his position to run his thumb over your temple. “Stop changing the subject. What’s hurting?”

One of your favourite things about Dutch was his voice. The way he was able to convey so much emotion through it by its tone, volume, and of course his voice cracks. While you loved it when he was passionate and making a speech, assertive when giving out orders, growling when the two of you were intimate, the rarity of it being soft and concerned was always a breath of fresh air that few had the privilege of breathing.

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that truthfully nothing was hurting that much, and risk him thinking you were being overly dramatic.

“I see,” he hummed, and you weren’t too sure what he was referring to but then he stood, stripping down to his union suit and pulling back your covers to join you underneath them. He opened his arms in an embrace for you to fall into, which you did gladly and nestled into the warmth of his broad chest, thankful that he hadn’t pressed you further on the matter.

The truth was that he didn’t need to, he understood without you saying explicitly that you just needed someone else to take the weight, if only for a short while. You never wanted it to be him, though, knowing the heaviness of the duties already pressing down on his shoulders.

“I’m fine, really,” you mumbled into him to lament your falsehood, muffled by the fabric that separated you from his skin.

Mhm, was all he responded with as he began stroking your hair, tenderly and not tangling it up to avoid causing you any further distress. He pulled you further in, and the smell and feeling of home getting all too overwhelming for you. You willed yourself not to cry, but it felt so safe in his arms, and you couldn’t help but let the floodgates creep open.

“Now now, darling,” he shifted to look down at you, but you remained where you were since you didn’t want him to see you cry. You always wanted to be a support for him, something sturdy that he could rely on, not something pathetic and emotional that he had to take care of.

“Look at me, please.” His hand gingerly cupped your jaw and gently willed you to follow his command, which you did hesitantly.

The expression that met your tear-soaked one was still concerned but filled with a promise that told you it’d all be okay. You wondered if it was his intention, as those beautiful dark eyes bore into yours. His thumb ran under your eyes to dry your tears, and you sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising,” he chastised you gently, kissing your forehead before returning his gaze to you. “It’s okay, you know? It’s all okay. This feeling will pass, I promise.”

“I know,” you nodded, and you did know. You’d known that morning when you woke up; the feeling will pass and by tomorrow you’ll be back to yourself. Sometimes, it just takes a small pity party before you can get to that point.

“You are the most precious thing to me. I will always be in awe of how much you manage to carry,” he took a breath to press his thumb on your bottom lip, “all without complaining. But it’s okay, you can complain if you want to. You have every right. I know it’s tough, and you need to give some of that weight to me every now and again.”

You could only nod, not sure if you’d ever fully believe those words but glad to hear them all the same.

“Is this helping?” he asked, and you nodded as fervently as you could manage. “Then we’ll stay like this until you feel better.”

“Dutch, no, it’s okay – you go and carry on with your work, I’ll be fine, don’t worry -”

“My darling,” he chuckled with the raise of an eyebrow, “are you telling me what to do?”

You managed a small smile, your first one of the day, which softened his features somewhat.

“Because I can assure you,” he continued, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,” he cradled your face in his hand, hands that had caused a lot of pain to many but right now were your greatest source of comfort. He nodded his head in the direction of the table behind him, “try some of that tea for me?”

You shifted up onto your elbow, reaching over him and grabbing the mug to take a few sips. It was peppermint, you knew that much, one of your favourites and there was other stuff in there though you couldn’t pick out what it was. “Did you make it?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Do you like it?”

You smirked, taking another few sips before setting it back down and nestling back into his embrace. “I do.”

“Then yes, I did,” he admitted, though you weren’t sure if he was lying, or partially lying – you'd be sure to ask Hosea later whether it was his doing or whether he’d assisted him. You didn’t mind either way.

“Well, thanks, in that case,” you snorted, slotting your leg in between his.

“My pleasure,” he hummed, satisfied with himself. “Would you like me to read to you?”

You shook your head, quick to correct yourself as you didn’t want him thinking you didn’t enjoy him reading to you; you did, but right now you wanted to lose yourself in him, the aggressive outlaw that also happened to be the gentlest person you’d ever met. “Could you just... talk to me? About your day, or a recent event?”

“Course,” his voice rumbled soothingly as he pulled your frame closer, tucking your head under his chin and you were more comfortable there than you’d been all day. He paused for a moment, thinking of which story to tell before he began telling it while you listened to the faint rhythm of his heart. “So, you know how Trelawny hasn’t been around for a while? Well, you’ll never guess where Arthur and I found him this morning...”

You smiled to yourself as you found sanctuary in his words; it would all be okay.

#i need to start being okay with writing short one-shots lol #dutch van der linde x reader #dutch van der linde #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #fanfiction #red dead fanfic #fluff #my stuff

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henrys-wee-hen · 7 months

Text

No-one Fucks With The Lobos - Chapter 26

I am SO sorry this took so long! Life has been a little zany, but I finally found a couple of hours to sit and get this out. Enjoy!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48070186/chapters/127072828

Keeping my head clear was one thing when I was at home, in Teddy’s apartment, surrounded by things that I understood and felt comfortable with. But being in the Lobo mansion, surrounded by Teddy’s thugs and Bellafrancesca’s men... the atmosphere felt explosive, and not in a good way. But I needed to remember that I wasn’t the person I was before.

I didn’t know who the fuck I was, to be honest, but there was little I could do about it.

The most I could do was prepare myself for the worst, where Rebecca would be half-dead. And so, that’s what I did. I imagined Rebecca in the worst positions, half-dead, skin flayed off, bloodied and gored and hurting real bad. I went over the top, letting my thoughts run as wild as I dared. It worked, because as Teddy led me down the long corridor towards the office I knew so well.

When we went inside, Rebecca was sitting on a sofa. Sure, there were two men either side of her, with their guns casually-trained on her temples, fingers ready on the trigger, safety off… and she was calm. Completely calm. What I couldn’t see were the deep bruises from where Mandy Lobo had done a number on her. But I was about to learn.

“Ah! Teddy, (Y/N),” Bellafrancesca smiled. She embraced Teddy, kissing his cheeks before turning to me and doing the same. I let her. It felt natural. Even if I remembered her being against the wedding… or had she been? Had she disliked me? Had I imagined that?

I shook it off – I couldn’t think about that now. Teddy had told me to blow his mind. And with Rebecca sat there, I had to think about that, and only that. How to blow his mind.

“Didn’t think I’d see you in our midst again, Officer!” Teddy beamed, moving to the drinks cart. He poured out two glasses, returning to me with one. “Rum, baby. Watered down. It’ll settle your stomach a bit.” He smiled at me, only this time, it was warm and gentle. I smiled up at him. I hated no longer knowing what he wanted from me… but then, had I ever?

“Thank you, Teddy,” I said gently. He kissed my cheek, and guided me to one of the armchairs.

“You are unwell, (Y/N)?” Bellafrancesca looked at me with concern. I shook my head.

“No. I just ate something that didn’t quite agree with me, that’s all.” I sipped the rum. Teddy was right; it did help. It also soothed my nerves a bit, too. Rebecca was glaring at me, unblinking. The faint redness of a fresh beating lined her cheekbone and eye socket. I pressed my lips together as Teddy perched himself on the arm of my chair, leaning back, his hand resting behind me. If we’d been on the sofa, it would have been an arm around my shoulders.

“Rebecca here would like to know what happened to (Y/N).” Bellafrancesca gestured towards me. As the room turned to me, I realised it was a test of loyalty. A test of how suicidal I was, I guess. Only I knew Teddy would be the one to kill me if I did the wrong thing. Whatever the fuck that actually was. I sipped my drink.

“Well, Rebecca, you can see I’m perfectly fine,” I smiled. “A little ill, today, but otherwise fine.” I cleared my throat, and sipped my drink again.

“You went… missing for… months…” Rebecca breathed. It was obvious now why she was so still. If she breathed too hard, it would hurt potentially broken ribs.

“I did. And I told them to tell you – the FBI, I mean. The team who told me to leave.” I looked at her. In my peripheral, I saw Teddy relax a little. Okay, right footing… “But I guess they didn’t.” I sat forward. “I guess I can tell her the truth now, right, baby?” I looked up at Teddy, and he gestured with his glass to Rebecca.

“Go right ahead.”

I took a breath. Rebecca’s eyes had softened.

“You remember the day Katie got shot?” A curt nod. “Well, I saw things from a rival gang in that restaurant that put me in danger. Teddy grabbed me out of there in the chaos, thinking I was one of his people. We only realised when I got into the car. The FBI got involved when they thought it was a hostage situation – and, admittedly, I also thought it was a hostage situation, until we got to the safe house – but we all agreed it would be safer to just talk. So we did. And we learned that the people Katie and I had gone to check out were traffickers and drugs smugglers, but that they wanted my ass for stopping them. And Teddy’s ass, too. Since Teddy had a good knowledge of them, and their rings, and I needed to leave the state until they were stopped, they put us both undercover over in Florida.” I licked my lips. It was easy, lying like that. Inventing a story that could have happened, if I believed it hard enough. Because what was the alternative? I tell her he kidnapped me, kept me in his little torture chamber and I fell in love with him? I sipped my drink. Teddy placed a hand on the nape of my neck, massaging those tight spots lightly. It felt really good.

“And then what?” Rebecca breathed, wincing.

“And then… I got to know him. I got to see other sides of him, Rebecca.” I swapped my glass into my other hand and reached up for Teddy’s hand. He gave it to me, and I kissed it. “I got to see a different Teddy. A soft, gentle Teddy. Someone who can handle an entire empire without blinking…” I looked up at him. “Someone who can juggle things and people and business and money, and be on coke withdrawal, and still manage to thrive.” He smiled at me. “And I fell. I fell pretty fucking hard for him.” I looked at Rebecca. “That… and the tattoos really fucking helped.” I finished my drink and Teddy took the glass from me as I stood. “See, Rebecca… all the shit you made me believe about the Lobos… yet their reach is huge. Their empire is unrivalled. And I don’t know anything or anyone that can top it. They’re powerful, but they care for each other. And Teddy wanted me by his side. How could I say no? When he’d kept me safe for months in another state? Not knowing what was happening over here?”

“So you’re a… criminal… too?” Rebecca said quietly.

“Maybe I am. But Teddy made some sacrifices for me, too.” I stood in front of her. “Like his drugs. He got clean for me. And gave up seeing other people, too. Remained faithful.” I bit my lip. “Married me without a prenup, too. What’s his is mine, what’s mine is his… even though he’s brought far more to the relationship than I ever could.” I linked my fingers in front of me. “But Rebecca… we were fighting a war we had no chance of winning. We were like Belgium in World War 1, taking dogs pulling canons into battle because they refused to prepare because they didn’t want to fight.”

“They… killed… my father –“

“And your father killed Ritchie Lobo.” I pressed my lips together. “But you always leave that part of the fucking story out.” I glared back at her. “As far as I’m concerned, Rebecca, it’s even. Your father killed Ritchie, so they killed your father. Eye for a eye. And sure, that eventually makes the world blind, but only if you keep fighting.” I crouched down in front of her. “You lost, Rebecca. We lost. We lost well before we even started. I just learned that and put my weapons down and embraced the flow.” I placed a hand gently on her knee. “I really suggest you do the same. Join us, Rebecca. Join me. Because unless you’re willing to take on the entire southern USA…” I trailed off. She looked down, and then back at me. Something in her was about to break.

“And if I don’t?” Her lips barely moved enough to form the words.

“If you don’t… then we’ll give you no other choice.” I smiled at her sadly. Perhaps it was all an act. But no-one had stopped me, yet. “And I don’t mean we’ll kill you. That would be too kind. You already know too much, Rebecca. What I’ve told you today, you could use that to help the police stop us. Even the FBI wanted to look at the books… but they left us alone when they got another crime empire. A lesser one, but an empire nonetheless.”

“Then what…” Rebecca couldn’t finish her sentence. The pain, whatever they’d done to her, was too great.

“What will we do to you?” A small nod. “Sweetheart… we’ll keep you suspended in a world somewhere between life and death. And all you’ll know…” I ran my hand up her leg, finding a tender spot (she winced). “Is pain.” I pressed, and Rebecca recoiled, screaming. But the scream hurt her ribs, and she gasped as waves of pain unlike anything she’d probably ever felt washed over her. But even as she writhed away, I kept my hand there, pressing against the torn muscle beneath her skin.

It was official, then. The part of me that had been human was dead. Replaced with this Teddy-pleasing Lobo monster.

Rebecca’s face contorted in pain as she succumbed, almost. I kneeled up and took her face.

“Come on, sweetheart, take it. You’re strong, aren’t you?” I patted her cheek, and she looked at me side-eye. She was clammy, sweaty, trying to calm her breathing. “You can’t win this, sweetheart. We can heal you, and we can bring you to a point far beyond this… over and over again…” I smiled at her sadly. “I don’t want to do that to you. Not when you can just so easily end all this and do the normal thing.” I brushed her hair back from her forehead. “And you’ll be above even those assholes at the precinct who always shot you down for having ambition. There’s a ladder to climb here. Ambition with us gets you places… ambition with that lot gets you stamped out.” I turned, looking for a soft cloth. Brice handed me one. Damp. I thanked him as I pressed it against Rebecca’s forehead. “I don’t handle anything criminal, Rebecca. I don’t hurt people, I don’t kill people. I do charity work. Loco Lobos is the brainchild of me and Teddy. VillaLobos, the dog rescue – that’s now funded by us, too. There’s so much good you can do with us, Rebecca. But it’s your choice to make, darling. Join us, or suffer until your poor heart gives out.” Rebecca nodded. I don’t think she knew what she was nodding for, but she nodded. I wiped the rest of her face, then put the cloth resting across her forehead. She closed her eyes and succumbed properly to the pain. And then, I stood.

I turned, and Teddy appraised me.

“Well,” he murmured, pulling me to him by a bit of fabric on my jacket that he could reach. “I didn’t think you had that in you. My little liar…”

“Was it a lie, Teddy?” I asked softly. I took hold of the lapels of his jacket. “Was it all a lie?” I leaned in close. “Because the only lie I told was that the FBI was involved, and that we were in Florida… everything else was entirely true.” I kissed the hollow of his jaw, and he took my face and kissed me properly.

“We’ll discuss it later,” he murmured, stroking my cheek.

“Take Officer Quincy to the medical wing,” Bellafrancesca said. “Make sure she has the care she needs.” The men nodded and picked Rebecca up. “As for you, (Y/N). I hope you will join us for dinner tonight?” Teddy’s hand rested on the small of my back as he stood beside me.

“I’d love to,” I said softly. “And… and I was thinking. I know we didn’t see eye to eye in the beginning…” I swallowed. “But I’d like… I…” I looked down. Teddy had said blow his mind. I looked up, stepping towards Bellafrancesca. “I’d like to call you mom, if you’d let me? Since I don’t really have a mom present here…” I played with my fingers, twisting my rings around my finger. Bellafrancesca’s face contorted into something of wonder and a smile and sadness. And then she enveloped me into a tight hug.

“I thought you would never ask,” she murmured, holding me tightly. What I didn’t see was the little look she exchanged behind my back to Teddy. But I stepped back when she let me go. “How proud I am to see how far you have come, (Y/N). Into our family. Finally.” The emphasis on that ‘finally’… she’d been waiting for my total submission for a while, then. She took my face in her hands and grinned. “Finally, a true Lobo.”

“Thank you… mom.” I smiled at her, and I swear, tears welled up in her eyes. “I hope I can continue to make you proud.” She let me go, and I turned to Teddy.

“We should go, mom. But we’ll come back tonight for dinner, sure.” He took my hand in his. “You need anything else with Quincy or no?”

“Rebecca will be quite alright in our care. But if we struggle to convince her of our work, I will let you know.” Bellafrancesca kissed us both, Teddy still holding my hand. But his grip wasn’t tight and controlling. It was gentle. Just… holding hands. Just that.

“Alright. See you later.”

We left, and Teddy and I strolled through the corridors of the mansion to the exit, where I promptly felt my legs buckle. And I guess Teddy had expected it, because he caught me before I could hit the floor and take a tumble down the stairs. He held me up, encasing me entirely with his body. I pushed my face into his chest. That smell, the smell of him, of his cologne but also just of him… the smell that lingered behind the cologne, the smell that I’d woken up with and fallen asleep with… it was secure, grounding. Soothing. He ran his palm up and down my back, murmuring random sweet nothings.

“You good, baby?” I looked up at him, pushing back so I could lean against the wall.

“Well?” I asked, my voice surprisingly strong. “Did I succeed?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did I blow your little mind?” Teddy laughed, shaking his head as he swiped his thumb across his lower lip. Pushing his other hand into his pocket, he stepped forward and leaned against the wall, covering me with his body.

“You did.” His voice a growl, he looked down at me. “I didn’t expect you to hurt your little friend… I thought you might just spin some fucking tale… but you did a little more than that… how did you know she was hurting there, though?”

“She moved away from my hand a little bit. It was barely there, but she moved. I took a chance.” I looked up at him, feeling sick that I wanted his approval for this.

“And it paid off… she was ready to join us then and there…” he grinned down at me. “See, (Y/N), if we get Quincy to join us…” he dipped his head a little lower. “Then the world truly does belong to us…” He kissed me softly, chastely.

“And if the world belongs to us, we can do so much good.” I took the lapels of his jacket and smiled up at him hopefully. “I hope that still stands.”

“Course it does. The charity shit’s making bag. You were right.” He kissed me again, nuzzling my neck. “And before you fucking ask, you can still stay away from hurting people. Except Quincy. I might need you to step up again.”

“Well, she probably hates me after today anyway.” I rested my head back against the wall, sighing softly as Teddy continued to touch all the spots that usually got me going. “Teddy – n-not here –“

“Then let’s go home.” I squealed as he picked me up in a bridal carry and made light work of the steps. I often forgot how strong he’d become since he’d come off the coke. Because he had come off the coke – no-one had laughed at that when I’d said it. He was genuinely clean. And I supposed he planned to stay that way. Maybe the mental sharpness he had was nice for him… it was certainly nice for me, anyway.

Teddy set me down by the car, opening the door for me. Once I was inside, he slid over the hood of the car and turned gracefully, climbing in himself.

“Sexy,” I chuckled.

“Well, when your ball and chain’s being a fucking cock tease…” He turned the car on and threw it into drive before he’d even put his seatbelt on.

“So I’m a ball and chain, now?”

“Gilded handcuffs, then.”

“I’ll be an open road if you keep your end of the bargain, Teddy.”

As he turned onto the main highway, he surprisingly didn’t burn off with little regard for traffic law. I relaxed my naturally tight grip on the doorhandle, and looked at him.

“I made you a fucking promise, (Y/N). I intend to keep it, if you’re worried.”

“I am, a bit.”

“You don’t fucking trust me anymore?!”

“I… I do… just –“

“Fucking trust me, baby. I made a promise to you. You blow my mind in there, and I tell you what happened.” He pulled up to a stop light and turned to me properly. “But I’m going to fuck your brains dumb before I say a fucking word, sweetheart. And then I’m going to fucking feed you… and then I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

“And if you don’t?”

“If I don’t, then you know how to make me fucking talk, don’t you?” He grinned at me wolfishly. I sighed. “But since I like my fucking skin intact, I’m gonna tell you.”

“You just need a clear head and empty balls first, I guess.”

“Look at you,” he purred, as the light turned green. “You know me so well.”

#Teddy lobo #Teddy lobo x reader #Teddy #Lobo #Dracula #Renfield #tedward lobo

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sheena-yuet · 1 year

Note

George began to chant the air around him moved strongly as if preparing to fullfil his desire.

All Dream could do was stare amazed and fearfully at the elf as he felt the stronger presence of magic surround him, soon the elf's loud chanting began to quiet down until nothing, and suddenly Dream felt nothing as well, nothing constraining him.

As George finished the chanting he was out of breath, honestly a little bit tired, since magic made to trap giants were stronger then most normal spells mainly because giants themselves are strong beings.

George turned back towards Dream, who just stared at him, George wasn't as skilled at picking up on emotions as elf didn't really show it, he couldn't tell if he was fearfully, confused or well he doesn't know what else there could be.

But George wanted to make sure that the spell worked and didn't leave anything, no hidden curses and such, he moved closer and the giant flinches away.

George titled his head confusedly,

"I'm just checking, making sure your alright."

He said plainly

Dream just starred before hesitantly placing his hand out towards the small elf, hand towering over him.

"Is that all you need?"

George nodded looking up.

"Yes."

George moved forward, touching the giants skin and closed his eyes, Dream felt warmth radiate through his hand then up his arms and then to the rest of his body before he knew it the warmth that felt so comfortable faded and a soft voice said

"Done."

Dream looked shocked quickly looking at his hand as if he would be able to see the magic that had just flowed through him.

"Really."

George nodded, pulling the hood back over his ears turning around back facing the giant.

"Your fine , I'll be of."

Before George could even take his first step the giants voice softly said

"Wait."

George turned back around confusedly

"Why, are you feeling unwell?"

(That's all I got sorry for the poor writing it's 2:40AM I'm tired, this is just an idea inspired by your work, please excuse any spelling mistakes and grammatical errors as I am tired.)

O.M.G. THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOOD!!!mua mua mua <3 Same here writing at 2am gang ahahaha

I really like that the way how George speaks just simple and short ,just get to the point. And dream is just like so scared of him right now ahaha kinda cute xD

And really thankful for extending my story qwq! It means to me a lot <3

Don’t know how to show how thankful I am, I drew some scene from the extent content! But idk how to put them together with the inbox grey box like they would separate :p I’m try my best. They all kinda rough cuz I don’t really have enough time for doing the line art oof

———

But George wanted to make sure that the spell worked and didn't leave anything, no hidden curses and such, he moved closer and the giant flinches away.

Dream just starred before hesitantly placing his hand out towards the small elf, hand towering over him.

George nodded, pulling the hood back over his ears turning around back facing the giant.

"Your fine , I'll be off .”

#mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #giant/tiny #giant!dream #giant and tiny #tiny!george #g/t #giant tiny #dsmp g/t #g/t art #tinyhero #inbox response

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101flavoursofweird · 9 months

Note

How about 14 or 15 from the little moments prompt list for Laydore?

((Thank you for the prompt! I went with…

14. Person A just holding onto Person B while Person B is having a bad mental health day.

I did enjoy writing this but had to get Hershel and Henry to a point where the ‘holding on’ felt in character for me while they’re still teens and not on the closest of terms yet. I wanted to write this set before the Stansbury Gang flashbacks because my last fic about them had them as adults. Hope this is ok!))

Title: Sanding down your silence

Spoilers: Very slight spoilers for Miracle Mask

Set: Before the Stansbury flashbacks. Hershel and the gang are 16.

Warnings: Reference to minor character death… and Henry being treated like a second class servant to the Ascot family.

It was six AM on Sunday when something flew into Hershel’s window, startling him awake.

Hershel stumbled out of bed, shoved his desk chair aside, and squinted out of his window. He groaned.

Two figures were standing outside his house, on a Sunday morning, at six AM.

Angela gave him a nervous wave. Randall made a beckoning motion.

Grumbling about his block-headed ‘best friend’, Hershel threw on a coat and snuck downstairs— even though he felt like stomping.

Hershel stepped out of the house, quietly shut the front door behind him, and went to meet Randall and Angela, who were waiting beyond the fence.

“Randall!” Hershel hissed. “Do you want to give my Ma a heart attack…?”

He trailed off when he caught sight of their fancy outfits, like the pair of them were ready to start waltzing right in front of him.

“…Why are you dressed like that?”

Randall fiddled with the collar of his white shirt. “My father’s dragging me to a family get-together—“

“In my front garden?”

“No— in London!” Randall retorted.

Both Hershel and Angela shushed him.

“Sorry, Hershel…” Angela smoothed out the ends of her yellow dress. “I told him this wasn’t a good idea, but he insisted—“

“Can I ask you a huge favour?” Randall pleaded. He didn’t wait for Hershel’d reply. “I have to leave soon, and Angela is my date, but Henry can’t come with us— he’s not feeling well enough—“

“Forgive me, but I am not going in Henry’s place as your… assistant,” Hershel said dryly. (He had never completely understood how the Ascots were able to hire Henry as a ‘servant’ like the rest of their household staff, despite Henry only being sixteen.)

“As if,” Randall said, in a tone that suggested Hershel would make a terrible assistant. “All I’m asking is for you to check on Henry while we’re gone. I absolutely forbade him from doing any chores today, but knowing him, he’ll still try to help!”

Hershel didn’t really know Henry, outside of him being Randall’s childhood friend… What right did Hershel have to tell Henry what he could and couldn’t do?

Whenever Hershel felt rough, he usually preferred to be left alone with a book and a cup of tea. He could imagine Henry would respond similarly, as he was a solitary person too.

“I’m… not sure…”

“Please, Hershel?” Angela clasped her hands in front of her, bracelets clinking around her wrists. “Please… It wouldn’t have to be for long, but if you could just pop over to see if Henry’s resting, you would save us so much worry…”

(Were those real tears in her eyes?)

Hershel sighed. “Oh, alright!”

Surely Henry would not appreciate being disturbed at the crack of dawn, especially if he was unwell…

So, Hershel waited until nine AM to leave the house, after assuring his mother than no one had tried to break in earlier that morning.

(“Hershel, did you hear a banging noise at around about six o’clock?”

“Nothing to worry about, Ma. That was just Randall trying to get my attention.”

“Oh— that’s alright then! Did you invite him inside?”

“No, Ma…”)

The trek to Ascot Manor felt different at this time of day; the sky was a pale blue, barely anyone Hershel’s age was out and about, and the birds seemed to be more active.

Hershel was so used to climbing through Randall’s bedroom window at night, that he’d almost forgotten the Ascots had a front door, concealed by a large stone porch.

His nervous knocks were met by Margot, the family’s maid. Glaring down at Hershel from behind her huge glasses, she informed him, rather dismissively, that Randall had gone away with his parents and they wouldn’t return until tomorrow. Hershel explained (where, evidently, Randall had not) that he had come to visit Henry.

Hearing this, Margot looked very surprised, but she let Hershel in and led him to the staircase.

“If Henry has recovered, please tell him there is still work to be done in the kitchen,” Margot said sternly. “You are welcome to help too, if you’re not busy…”

“R-right!” Hershel stammered, before he shot upstairs.

He went straight to Randall’s room, where he saw a hastily-written ‘Do Not Disturb!’ sign had been taped to the door.

Hershel cleared his throat. He tapped on the door and tentatively called, “Hello… Henry?”

Silence. (Hershel should have expected this…)

Still, Hershel persisted, “It’s Hershel… Randall sent me to—“

Slowly, with great effort, the door opened. Henry peered out at Hershel. His eyes were red, his jaw was tense and his nose was streaming

“P-please excuse me…” Henry sniffed. He turned away to wipe his face with his arm. “I’m… I’m not…”

“Not well?”

Looking back at Hershel, Henry nodded.

“Can I, er, get you anything?” Hershel offered. “A tissue…?”

Another nod.

“And a… cold drink, maybe?”

“Thank you,” Henry mumbled, before he closed the door once more.

“Okay…” Hershel sighed and dashed down to the kitchen.

The Ascots’ chef, Abilio, was far more accommodating than Margot. They gave Hershel a tray, some soft tissues, a jug of orange juice, two glasses, and some red velvet cupcakes.

Hoping he wouldn’t run in to Margot, Hershel carried the full tray back up to Randall’s room.

This time, Henry let him in immediately, and tried to take the tray from Hershel.

“It’s fine,” Hershel said, setting the tray on one of the wooden steps leading up to Randall’s loft. (Or whatever he called that chaotic excuse for a shelf above his bookshelf!)

“Thank you,” Henry sighed as he shut the door. He faced Hershel, fidgeting with his hands. “I’m sorry to… burden you with all this. I’m sure you have much better things you could be doing with your weekend…”

“Not really,” Hershel said nonchalantly.

As much as he’d complained to Randall, he really didn’t have much planned for today, aside from studying and reading. “Any adventures I might have had were cancelled…”

“…In Master’s Randall’s absence, yes,” Henry said, smiling slightly. He came to pour them each a glass of orange juice.

“My favourite!” Hershel remarked, in a pitiful attempt at small talk.

He was relieved when Henry replied, “Mine, too.”

Yet again, the silence reared its head between them.

Hershel sipped his glass of orange juice, straining to think of a discussion topic…

Randall (chatterbox that he was) never had this problem…

Of course— Randall!

“Why were Randall and his family called to London so suddenly?” Hershel exclaimed.

Henry’s eyes lit up; he was more than happy to discuss Randall.

“Master Randall’s cousin— Lady Ascot’s nephew— has secured a place at Gressenheller University, after…” Henry hesitated, as if he was about to reveal a dark family secret. “…After being overlookedpreviously… Lady Ascot’s sister arranged a party at their estate to celebrate his achievement.”

Hershel hummed. (It certainly paid to be rich!) “I’m sure Randall— and Angela— would have preferred to stay here, with you.”

Henry shrugged. “Perhaps… but Master Ascot insisted they should all go. There is nothing more important to him than family…” Henry paused.

Hershel placed his empty glass on the step. The conversation seemed to have dried up there, but he could sense something was wrong with Henry.

It didn’t appear to be an illness, like a cold (as far as Hershel could see), but whatever it was still had a physical effect on Henry; furrowed brows, slumped shoulders and lacking his usual energy…

When Henry had answered the door to Hershel, Hershel could have sworn he’d been crying.

“Erm, these are for you—“ Hershel pointed to the cupcakes. “—from the chef!”

“That’s very kind of Abilio,” Henry murmured. “I’ll make sure to thank them later.” He gestured for Hershel to take a cupcake.

Hershel removed the cake’s wrapper, making sure he didn’t drop any crumbs. “You won’t have to… to do any chores later, will you?“

“Master Randall made me promise not to,” Henry huffed, shaking his head. “And he sent you to keep an eye on me, no doubt…”

To save himself for answering, Hershel stuffed the whole cake inside his mouth.

“But you can’t possibly stay here all day,” Henry said.

The silence returned with a vengeance.

Hershel slowly ate the cake. (Not only was it delicious but he gave him more time to devise a response!)

When he had finished, Hershel ventured, “I could stay, if you nee— if you want company.”

“I don’t.”

Hershel tried not to take that personally. His parents had told him about a time when he was a young child— when he wouldn’t talk to anyone. It was only through patience, perseverance and care that they had gotten little Hershel to open up.

“Well…” Hershel waved his hands around the room. “Is there anything Randall needs help with?”

Henry started, “Nothing that I can’t—“

“What about up there?” Hershel pointed up to Randall’s loft, stacked with grubby overflowing boxes. “When was the last time Randall had a clear out?”

“Tha—that’s where Master Randall keeps his tools—“ Henry barred the way up the steps with his long arms. “—and some treasures. He wouldn’t want us to—“

“I want to make sure he’s organised, for the next time he drags me out on an adventure.” Hershel ducked under Henry’s arms and marched up the steps. “You can help me, if you choose to.”

Hershel had said that very deliberately; he wasn’t giving Henry an order, and Henry was under no obligation to obey.

To his surprise, Henry sighed with defeat… and maybe some relief. “Alright, then… If you could bring down those boxes— carefully— I’ll have a look through them…”

Several hours had passed by the time they finished cleaning out Randall’s loft, organised everything worth keeping, and chucked out anything Henry deemed ‘for the bin’.

Hershel hoped Randall wouldn’t mind; not that they had moved all of his belongings (Randall was constantly hiding puzzles in Hershel’s room), but the fact that Hershel had gotten Henry to assist him.

Yes, it had been a hard job, but it wasn’t technically one of Henry’s chores…

Besides, Henry had chosen to help, and he seemed… not happier, but more content when he was kept busy.

That was, until Hershel found a small red brooch at the back of the loft. It was shaped like a ladybug, studded with rubies and no bigger than a walnut.

Assuming it was another one of Randall’s treasures, Hershel brought it down to show Henry.

When he caught sight of the brooch, however, Henry blanched.

“What is it?” Hershel asked worriedly, holding the brooch out to him.

Henry swallowed. He accepted the brooch and cradled it in his hands as if it were a real ladybug. “This is… This was given to me… as a gift. I thought I’d lost it…”

“Maybe Randall found it?”

“No,” Henry said firmly. “Master Randall knows what this— this means to me.” He frowned up at the loft. “One of the staff might have picked it up, assumed it belonged to Randall, and put it amongst his things… but I swear, this is mine.”

“I believe you,” Hershel murmured. He could never imagine Henry stealing from the Ascot family, especially not from Randall.

Henry slipped the brooch into his pocket, but immediately removed it again.

“I need to put this somewhere safe,” he muttered, “without anyone seeing…” Warily, Henry glanced from the bedroom door to Hershel. “Hershel— please can you accompany me for just a few moments?”

“Of course.”

Following Henry out of the room and down the hall, Hershel kept an eye out for Margot or any other servants who might question them.

On the other side of the house, they reached a narrow stairwell.

“Does this lead to the tower with the turret?” Hershel whispered as they made their way up the spiralling steps. It was dizzying— and rather dark.

He almost bumped into Henry, who had stopped at the top of the stairs.

“Yes,” Henry said, pushing open a door, “and my room.”

“Oh…!” Hershel exclaimed as they entered the small circular space.

Hershel had, ignorantly, imagined Henry slept in a room with the other servants, but Henry had his own bed— slender though it was.

Squashed in beside the bed was a plain set of drawers, with a stack of books on top.

There was a window, slimmer than those in Randall’s room…. Honestly, it reminded Hershel of a prison.

How many hours had Henry spent in here, feeling like he was trapped in a tower? No wonder he always pottering around the rest of the house…

“It’s… cosy,” Hershel supplied.

Humming, Henry went to place the ladybug brooch under his pillow. As he moved the pillow, a piece of card— a��photograph— fluttered to the floor.

Hershel blinked at the figure in the grainy picture—

Henry snatched the photo back up and returned it to its hiding place. He glared at Hershel.

Hershel lifted his hands. “I didn’t see…”

His glare softening, Henry sighed. “My mother, Alice… She gave me this brooch before she… passed on. Ten years ago today.”

“I’m sorry,” Hershel intoned— because what else could he say?

Hershel was fortunate enough to have two loving, wonderful parents in his life. Yes, his Ma could be a worrywart, and his Pa was prone to wandering off, but that was the worst of it.

At least Hershel’s parents weren’t as strict as Mr. Ascot. Ma might fret occasionally, but not like Angela’s parents…

Even then, none of them had lost a parent, like Henry.

“It was a long time ago,” Henry dismissed.

They left the room and descended the stairwell in silence… until Henry let out a gasp. Hershel turned. Henry crashed into him headfirst.

Luckily, they were near the bottom of the stairwell. Hershel caught Henry by the shoulders as they stumbled down the last few steps.

“Are you— alright?”

“Yes, I—“ Henry grunted with pain and embarrassment. “—Just missed a step back there… Sorry.”

They emerged into the hallway. Henry straightened up. Reluctantly, Hershel removed his hands from Henry’s shoulders.

“Can you walk?” Hershel breathed.

“O-of course…” Henry strode down the hallway, though Hershel noticed a slight limp in his step.

When they were back in Randall’s room, away from prying ears, Hershel checked, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Henry lowered himself onto Randall’s red couch. “Believe it or not, I’m actually feeling better than… than I was earlier.” He titled his head back and closed his eyes.

“That’s— good,” Hershel said, hovering by the door. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Silence.

“Guess I’ll be off then…?” Hershel reached for the door handle, but he held on a moment longer. He gazed at Henry. “Henry, you know if you ever… want to get out, you’re welcome to visit my house— with or without Randall.”

Hershel didn’t think he would receive a response, until Henry murmured, “Thank you, Hershel. I’ll bear that in mind.”

Hershel smiled. When the silence resumed, he felt it was a companionable kind of silence.

He hoped Henry felt the same way.

#henry ledore #Hershel Layton #Laydore #Hershel/Henry #My fics #my writing #stansbury gang #Randall ascot #angela Ledore #Sorry this has another dead mother— as if the PL universe needed any more of those #Professor Layton #Guess who Randall’s cousin is

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fluffypotatey · 10 months

Text

Leverage ep 9

No pre-game thoughts, y’all, we going straight into this bitch!

[spoilers. you’ve been warned]

The Snow Job - Reaction

Oooooh synopsis is interesting 👀

OH???? Cop forcing a POC family out of their house so some corporate real estate can take it????? NO IM NOT MAD HUSH

NVM I AM MAD

ACAB BITCH

YES BABE FUCK THEM UP

PINCH THEM

Oh shit we talking about Hurricane Katrina???? More like hurricane tortil—*gunshots*

take a shot every time someone mentions having kids to Ford lmaoooooooo (*cough* so sorry for your loss dude, honestly that sucked *cough*)

oh ho ho! flashback trauma

“no just the cookies” never change Parker

Is Ford….hungover???? Bro why (she asks, knowing damn well why)

oooooooooh Sofie’s mad 🫢 Ford you in deep shit

Wait, so what is a luge????

ok i am sensing an intervention for Ford this episode

extreme intervention

OH THE RACECAR ICE TUNNEL DEATH THING THATS A LUGE

yeah? yeah, i think that’s it

Eliot, why are so acting like a dork you’re gonna make me fall for you T^T

Parker, never change <3 love you

ELIOT WHAT IS THAT PHOTO

NOT THE HUG

wowwwwwww, gross ew

even more gross

like i already hate this contractor/real estate family but now i’m just gagging

emo Denis 😂

intersting 👀 why are their comma weird 👀

totally not worried. nope. all will be well :)

nvm Denis you’re also gross

HE IS A FUCKING INCEL I KNOW IT IN MY HEART

YES DENIS EXPOSE YOURSELF YOU ASSHOLE

Ford, I am worried about you

Eliot let Hardison talk 😠

cops???? again???? why would they listen, they didn’t do shit

APPLE PIE?????

same Parker

take a shot every time Ford reaches for a drink

i am currently terrified of deranged Ford

prediction: I want Alec as the doctor

gross part 5

oh shit the popo????

oop just realized i spelled Dennis wrong

ACAB

WE CAN DO WHAT????? TO HER WHAT

Eliot, you’re so cute

Retzings Racketeering…..Racketeering Retzings…..Rocket….Racketeering…..Retzings….guys, i think i cracked the code

Sofie: *trying to give Parker acting advice….she is failing*

THEY ARE NOT DOING ROCK PAPER SCISSORS TO INJECT A CORPSE 😂😂😂😂

dennis you’re so rude

YES THE TRIO IS TOGETHER

IS PARKEE GOING TO— OMFG

she’s so mad lmao

YES INTERVENTION TIME

Does ‘skip some rope’ mean what I think it means????

ooooooooooooh family drama 👀

damn Pam looks very similar to Parker

OH WAIT I KNOW IT WAS YOU PARKER

FAMILY DRAMA INTENSIFIES 💕👀💕👀

the boys are fighting 🥰

LMAO GET WRECKED BITCHES

HEY WHAT WAS THAT FLASHBACK FOR

Ford, i love you (please drink healthy)

oooooooh irony is a bitch and i love her

awwww they gave the house to the family 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Give me a reason to stay” THE AUDIBLE GASP FROM MY MOUTH

General Thoughts

Honestly love this episode. Got worried a little bit in the beginning bc Ford was acting concernly unwell. Also, it’s funny how much I need to remind myself that the gang’s jobs always end well because I am so used to the opposite kind of heist story. The Nate/Sophie content was 🤌🤌🤌🤌 *chef’s kiss* Eliot was fucking adorable (he confuses me beyond no end, his backstory is so wild, tell me your PAST I WANNA KNOW SO BAD—) Hardison is beautiful and clever as always and Parker, my queen, was her unapologetic self 🥰

so yeah, great episode, on to the next 👀

#interrupting queue with a leverage liveblog #leverage #fluffy watches #long post #this show is so great #So glad it was made

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dialovers-translations · 2 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shin Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in the Special Classroom

Yui: ( If I had to pick between them, I’d say Shin-kun still seems the most reasonable... )

Well...Shin-kun, let’s go then.

Shin: ...Heeh. You’re going to choose me over Nii-san?

ーー Which begs the question, Nii-san. Can I keep her?

Yui: ( ‘Keep her’...? I thought I was just going to show him around campus? )

Carla: ...I see no problem. Suit yourself.

ー Carla leaves

Yui: ( Ah...There he goes. )

( ...What now? I have a bad feeling about this...Like they’re scheming something outside of my grasp. )

Shin: ...Huh? Why do you suddenly seem so anxious?

Yui: ...Ah, you see...

( However...It’d be rude to suspect them out of the blue, right? )

It’s nothing.

Shin: ...No point trying to cover it up. You’re being wary of us, aren’t you?

Yui: ...Ugh.

Shin: Well, rest assured. I won’t treat you badly.

ーー As long as you behave, that is.

Yui: ...

Shin: Anyway, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Why don’t we shake hands, huh?

Yui: ...Ah, sure. ...The pleasure is all mine...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Woah! That’s one powerful handshake... )

Shin: Hm? Aah...Sorry, my bad~ I forgot to hold back. Did I hurt your hand? Are you alright?

Yui: I-I’m fine.

( ...Oh no. I can’t quite put it into words, but Shin-kun is kind of scary too after all... )

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Shin: Hm...So this is the school, huh?

I only caught a glimpse so far, but this place really seems dull.

Yui: Ahaha, is that so...?

( Anyway...Once I’m done showing him around, I should avoid approaching him carelessly. )

ーー Shin-kun, this is the infirmary.

*Rattle*

ー The scene shifts to the infirmary

Yui: Please come here if you ever feel unwell.

Shin: Gotcha. I doubt that’ll ever happen though.

Yui: ...

( A-Anyway, I’m pretty much done showing him around now. )

Shin-kun, this is the end of the tour.

I’m sure it’s hard to remember everything at once, so don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Shin: ...

Yui: ( I’m kind of scared...I better leave as soon as I can.. )

...W-Well then...Why don’t we call it a day and head home?

I’ll go grab my bag, okay?

Shin: ーー No need.

Yui: ...!

What do you mean? ...Why not? I can’t go home and leave my bag behind at school.

Shin: What I mean is that you don’t need to head back there.

Now you belong to us...No, belong to me.

Yui: ...Uu. W-What do you mean? I don’t understand.

Shin: What I mean? You don’t need to know.

Yui: ...Y-You can’t just decide that for me...

Shin: ...Good grief...I guess I was wrong when I thought you were a clever girl. What a shame.

Anyway, you are mine now. So shut up and accept that.

Yui: That’s easy for you to say...I can’t just accept it.

Shin: ...Che...You’re quite the handful...

Funny coming from the girl who looks like she’s a natural at this sorta stuff.

Yui: ...A natural? At what exactly...?

Shin: You know, you seem like the kinda girl who has no issue accepting her own fate, no matter how unreasonable it may be.

Yui: !!

Shin: You’ve been through this plenty of times before, haven’t you? Hey, I’m not wrong, am I?

Yui: What do you...?

Shin: Hmー Let me think, right...A bunch of dudes ganging up on you, for example.

Yui: ...W-Well...

Shin: Bull’s eye? Then why not simply accept it this time as well? That’d suit you the best.

No matter what fate lies ahead of you, it’s all out of your own control...

There was nothing you could do. You were completely helpless. Hey? Now it’s no longer an issue, right?

Yui: ...Ugh.

I’m going home!

Shin: Haah? ーー I repeat, you can’t. Were you even listening to me? Or are you just that stupid?

Yui: ( He’s pulling my hair...! )

I-It hurts!

Shin: Exactly. It hurts.

ーー And?

You think I’m going to let you go if you show me those teary eyes?

Just give up. That sorta stuff doesn’t work on me. It only makes you seem like a weakling.

Yui: ...!

Shin: But, well...I guess I don’t dislike seeing the fear reflected in your eyes.

Yui: ( ...! )

Shin: Aah, that being said...Can’t you do anything about this awful Vampire stench coming from your blood?

Yui: ( Vampire...The scent of my blood...? )

( A human wouldn’t be able to pick up on such things. Could it be...? )

...I figured it out, Shin-kun...You’re a Vampire as well, aren’t you...!?

Shin: ...Haah?

What did you say just now?

Yui: Eh...?

Shin: ...Che...I try to be kind to you for two seconds and this is what I get in return?

‘A Vampire’? ...Don’t you dare group me together with that filth!

*Thud*

Yui: ...Kyah!!

( H-He pushed me down...He suddenly seems like an entirely different person...Oh no, at this rate! )

Shin: No point in trying to escape. Serves you right, oi.

Yui: ...W-Why do you do this!?

Shin: Good question. I wonder why? Honestly, I suggest you don’t try to find the answer to all questions the in this world. It’d be in your own best interest.

Exactly...Why don’t you suffer in ignorance, simply wrapped around my little finger?

*THUD*

Yui: ...!

Shin: Hey, listen up...Others have been after your blood this whole time, correct?

Going on about how delicious and special that stinky blood of yours is...

But to me, in its current state, your blood holds very little value.

If anything, it’s much more tainted than the blood of any other human out there...

So you better don’t believe yourself to be special. Time to get off your high horse.

Yui: ...Ugh. D-Doing all of this...Just what exactly are you!?

Shin: Haah? You’re really curious, aren’t you?

Whatever, let me tell you then.

ーー We are First Bloods.

I guess even an idiot like yourself will understand the term ‘Founders’?

Yui: ...Founders...?

Shin: Exactly. Thereforeーー

*WOOSH*

Shin: Nobody can oppose us.

Yui: ( H-He transformed into a wolf!? )

Shin: Haah...The stench of Vampires only gets stronger when in this form...I’m sick of it.

ーー Let’s get going.

Yui: G-Go where...?

Shin: I’m tired of talking to a piece of trash.

You just shut up and let meーー

*CHOMP*

Yui: Kyaaah!

Shin: ーー carry you in my mouth like this. (1)

I don’t want to hear any ugly cries from you, understand?

Yui: ( Aah, I can’t...I... )

...

Shin: ...Jeez, she fainted, huh?

Is she really the ‘Queen’ of the chess board?

A girl like this? ...God...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the guest room in the Tsukinami manor

Yui: ...

( I feel dizzy...Where am I...? )

??? 1: ーー So, Nii-san.

You really don’t mind leaving her in my care?

??? 2: I do not.

Yui: ( ...Ah...! Right, Shin-kun was the one who... )

Shin: Gotcha. Ahー ...But how are we going to cleanse her?

Carla: I shall leave that up to you.

Yui: ( ...O-Our eyes met... )

Carla: She regained consciousness, huh...?

ー Carla walks to the door

Shin: Nii-san, where are you going...?

ーー Hm? Ah, I see...Sleeping Beauty has awoken from her slumber, hasn’t she?

Yui: ...Where am I?

Shin: Where would you like to be? The manor of those Vampires?

Yui: ...

Shin: Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s just some trivial detail.

More importantly...

Nii-san left you in my care. I guess he isn’t really interested in the early stages of your cleansing...

Yui: Cleansing...? Early stages...?

Shin: Exactly. Your blood has been dirtied after all. It doesn’t hold any value to us unless it’s purified.

Hm? You want to know how we’ll do that? Aah, you ask so many questions.

ー Shin approaches her

Shin: Listen carefully...I’m going to suck out the poison.

*Rustle*

Shin: Like thisーー Nn.

ー He bites her

Yui: ...!!

Shin: ...Nn...Phew...

God. Your blood really is disgusting...Nn...

Yui: S-Sto...

Shin: Shut up...Nn...

Yui: Aah...!

Shin: Hehe...Do you always make those kinds of sounds? Hey, tell me...?

...Nn...Haah...

...Nn...Nnh!

Yui: Uu...!

Shin: They’re not half bad...

Oh well, I don’t think I’d be able to down this foul blood if it weren’t for that small amount of enjoyment I get out of it.

Haah...Nn...Nnh.

Yui: ( I-I...I have to get away from here...Ah... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) I’m not sure how Shin can still talk while he’s carrying Yui like this, but literally he says ‘let yourself be carried while my fangs are sinking into (you)’. Wolves do carry their pups in their mouth to transport them from one place to another, so that’s the visual I had inside my head for this. xD

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shin tsukinami #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfshindarkprolog

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wifegideonnav · 1 year

Text

I posted 2,574 times in 2022

That's 2,574 more posts than 2021!

282 posts created (11%)

2,292 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@emcapi

@mayasaura

@gideonisms

@saltwaterconfessions

@theriverbeyond

I tagged 2,463 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#art - 799 posts

#memes - 487 posts

#ntn - 393 posts

#harrow - 324 posts

#griddlehark - 317 posts

#gideon - 291 posts

#vibes - 229 posts

#op - 219 posts

#htn - 162 posts

#meta - 162 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i’d say something like ‘sorry guys i’ll try to be more active in the future!!1’ but que será será im not actually in control of when or how

My Top Posts in 2022:

there’s a post going around like “catholicism is only good for sexy vampire aesthetics” WRONG its primary purpose has always been to instigate a series of events that culminated in tamsyn muir writing gideon the ninth

2,073 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

god I’m just never gonna fucking recover from “harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn’t even want it.” the use of her full name. the agony. the shakespeare-level comedy of errors with the angst turned up to 11 and the comedy turned down to 0. the fucking. tragedy of it all. I’m unwell no fucking talk me rn

2,243 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

every time I think about harrows connection to gideon being so strong that gideons name is the last thing she says before dying despite having literally erased her capacity to comprehend it, I have to go lie down. like tamsyn really said love is so strong that it remains even if you carve out the part of your brain that feels it.

2,301 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

the importance of pov and kiriona gaia as gideon nav’s imperialist aspect

others have already made some really smart posts about how kiriona is gideon when she’s lost everything and everyone that made her who she was, and how even in the first two books, gideon was this terrifically sad creature who was disguised by the fact that she was her own narrator.

but I want to expand on that last bit, because yes. kiriona is a gideon who has lost everything, who has had to make tough decisions to survive, who has had to adapt to being primarily around her father (a manipulative asshole) and ianthe (ianthe). but this is also the first time we’re getting to see gideon from a perspective other than her own.

we’ve always known that gideon is a beautifully unreliable narrator - see her complete understatement of the fight before harrow opened the tomb, where she neglects to tell us that she almost killed harrow with her bare hands - but I think that for a lot of us, the introduction of kiriona was when we first felt that.

now, nona is not an objective narrator either (lmao). and she does actively dislike gideon (which is fascinating, and which I could go on about for several posts). but she does offer an outside perspective on gideon that we have, up to this point, been lacking.

because… yeah. sometimes, like anyone, gideon’s kind of mean. we know she’s a good person - her goodness is in many ways one of the central drivers of the plot - but that doesn’t mean she’s nice all of the time. it’s just that when she’s being mean to crux, or ianthe, or even harrow we can say, well that person deserved that. but the truth is, gideon has lived through the kind of hell that very few people could survive with any kind of goodness and softness left intact. she didn’t live through it, in fact. she’s just kind of… existed through it.

I saw another post point this out, and I want to reiterate: gideon’s goal, her whole life, has been to join the cohort. when we first meet her, we’re like, ok, makes sense, that’s the only ‘out’ available to her. and we kind of forget, even as we learn more about the empire, that what gideon wants to join is this actively and horrifically violent imperialist force. when we get to nona, and we meet hot sauce and her gang and joli and the angel and even the edenites, we expect gideon to have kept up with us somehow, to reject the empire. we want her to be one of the “good guys” (goodness in the tlt universe is another longass post I want to write…).

but gideon doesn’t reject the empire. because, crucially, she IS the empire - she is its heir, never mind the fact that that doesn’t really mean anything when the current emperor is immortal.

what I am trying to say is this: kiriona is gideon when you take everything from her, and then replace it with her father and everything he represents, and then take a step back.

that step back is crucial. it is what allows us to remember how imperialism - and by extension, or by metaphor, cruelty - works. gideon becomes cruel because she is in proximity to cruel people, AND because she is not in proximity to us.

THAT is what Muir is saying with kiriona. even the most kind, good, earnest protagonist can become a tool of evil in the right circumstances: and those circumstances include perspective. gideon, like it or not, is currently actively choosing to be a tool of empire. and if we were in her head, we might be able to - or we might be tricked into - accept her justifications for why she’s doing it.

the perspective shift is what allows us to see gideon as she - currently - truly is. it is no accident that this is when we get the outside pov. Muir allows us nowhere to hide; we have to confront what gideon has become and by extension what she always has been.

gideon nav is a good person, and I fully believe that in alecto we will watch her reject her father; I fully believe she will get to be a hero. but in order for that to happen, she - and we - must first undergo radical change and growth in terms of her worldview and attitudes. kiriona is not gideon’s final form. but in the same way that john is described by harrow as having aspects, kiriona is the aspect or facet of gideon that embraces cruelty, that perpetuates empire.

Muir tells us: even the most beautiful-hearted, trod-on girl in the world can become a tool of empire. but I have no doubt that in alecto she will tell us: this is how that girl can destroy it.

2,922 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

happy pride to girls who didn’t know that women could be nice to you, inscrutable polycules, straight people in forbidden marriages, body snatchers who kiss their own reflections, poets obsessed with long-dead warriors, predatory cougars, lesbians who are in fact the problem, and girls who are in love with a corpse

7,115 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#idc if ppl find these annoying I think they’re fun

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hotchley · 2 years

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🐨 Welp, the kids infected me with a cold that I’m pretty sure is actually the plague. Honestly, who knows if it was even the kids. I tend to get colds in the summer when I’m doing a lot with little energy like I have been lately. It’s happened at the last three camps I’ve worked at/attended. But we’re hanging in there! Two camps this week—one is tiny and space-themed, which I’m thrilled about, and one is a giant group of almost entirely boys. They are chaos personified.

Here are some things the kids have said to me in the past week!

“Do you know when the song *sings It’s The End of The World by REM* came out? 1999!”

“I woke up early for camp!” Upon me asking what time she got up, she revealed that she woke herself and her mom up at 5am. For a 12 o’clock camp.

“I’m eight, turning ten soon!”

And my personal favorite—

“Nanny: What do you say to Miss Kate?

Child: *runs up to me, leans into my face, and burps*

Me: …I don’t think that’s what your nanny had in mind, buddy

Child: It’s exactly what I had in mind!”

Yeah, they’re insane. We’re having fun though! Mostly. Last week a kid lost a tooth, which she was thrilled about. Another girl got stung by a bee, which she was not thrilled about. Thank goodness for the first aid app on my phone.

The kids can be rowdy, but we’ve had almost more trouble with parents. One yelled at us for not having enough staff because apparently it’s illegal to have three staff for twenty-five kids for a two hour camp (it is not, in fact, illegal. Also, we work for the government. The government made the roster, not us.) An old man told me we should put a sign up because I asked him not to walk into the park building to use the bathrooms. We do, in fact, have a sign up. Another old man was hovering outside the park building for a solid hour and got mad at me for being suspicious of him. Like, sorry sir, but you’re lingering around a building full of small children, none of whom are yours. Of course I’m keeping an eye on you.

We figured out how to braid beads into our little girls’ hair at an all girls camp last week, so those moms loved us. A bunch of them watched me do it cause they wanted to learn.

So yeah, that’s life around here! My older brother’s girlfriend is visiting again on Friday, which I’m very excited for! It’s been too long since we’ve ganged up on him. And on Sunday, I leave for my karate trip! 16 hour drive, woo! Should be very fun though. Lots of cool training, and all the people from my dojo are sharing a cabin that been dubbed by my father as “the party cabin”. My dad can’t come cause of work, so I’m flying solo. Which means I can buy tons of Kraft mac and cheese when we stop at the gas station to microwave at the cabin!

Oh no... being infected with children's colds is the worst. I remember when we stopped being in bubbles and I immediately got unwell it's awful! I get colds when I cry and my eyes start hurting when I rub them so... the space-themed camp sounds great! I love chaotic children because I'm only with them for a few minutes but a whole camp... that's going to be a lot...

All of those are so random I love kids! One of the kids at the library told the lady she was speaking to that she liked Shakespeare and Jeff Kinney (she was talking about the simplified and designed for children ones but still!)

One of my kids was showing me all of their favourite poems, and another was really shy- she was adorable- so I went: Do you want to tell Daddy and I'll just sit here and listen? And then immediately cringed because normally I say: give this to your adult okay? Since different kids come with different people and etc. Luckily it was her dad but in the moment... so awkward... he called me the nice young lady though which was sweet and made me smile.

Ah yes, losing teeth in public was always an experience! I hope the girl was okay :( also what's the app? I feel like it's a useful thing to have on you (she says, despite failing her CPR training)

Oh god, it's a universal experience then? I only deal with the children but the actual library worker was saying that it's the adults who cause the most problems... although 25 kids to 3 adults sounds so overwhelming! I remember when I was in primary school- so up to 11, it was 1 adult to every 5-6 children! Yes, that man does sound a bit suspicious... AHH when they don't read!! We have a sign telling parents where to go- it can be missed- and a lot are so apologetic when they miss it, but a few are just like: oh. And it's like: we're making YOUR life easier...

Awww, that's so sweet, I'm glad it happened!

Yess for the alliance, it's my favourite thing! Oooh karate trip! That sounds like so much fun! I'm very excited for you and you'll need to tell me everything that happens <3

#people talk to me #koala kate #🐨anon

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bisognamorire · 2 months

Text

Beloved A.,

Happy Friday!

Up here you see a few photos I took this week. I had wanted to arrange them separately but I can’t find the strength to organise this post much (sorry, its all over the place). The felted bunnies made me think of you and I wanted to get one for you but I am not supposed to. The candles are in the religious mourning room. It is located adjoined to the front hall where my reception is, so during nightshifts I go to lay down in there and try to rest a bit (theres a bench). I often get mentally unwell around 2-3 AM during my nightshifts. Everything just gangs up to torture me. The melon bread was disgusting. The highlight of my week was to go to the lake after my first nightshift and feed the ducks and swans some sunflowerseeds.

This week I tried different methods to stop myself from dissociating. And it worked most of the time. Once the numbness of dissociation fell away, though, I dissolved into tears; when I took a walk around the lake, when I sat in public transport, when I was at work, when I woke up in the morning, when I sat in the living room. I’m always in tears.

Always, Dad and you. Dad and you.

I think feeling how much it hurts me to have lost the both of you is still better than to dissociate and feel nothing.

Theres a scene in One Piece after the Wa no Kuni Arc where Momonosuke runs to the shore to bid the Strawhats Farewell as they leave the island. He sobs and begs them to stay and not leave him like a toddler. I felt like him in that scene this past week.

youtube

On Saturday, when I felt like I would get ill, I went to the city to eat chicken soup in an asian diner that I used to go to when I started uni in 2017. It usually helped me to get strong again. Unfortunately they’ve been closed for some reason for many months now. I then went to have soup at an other asian diner, it was only 2€ and the people probably thought I was homeless (I looked rather dishevelled and done with life) because they gave me a relatively large bowl and lots of vegetables.

It does wonders for your soul to eat a hearty soup when you’re feeling poorly.

On Sunday I visited Marina, Sharon’s friend (well, our childhood friend). She broke up with her boyfriend of seven years recently. We talked about a lot of topics like identity, mothers, parental emotional neglect and abandonment. She told me that she just hangs with random people because shes so lonely (she lives in another state and we can’t easily visit her) and she takes whatever company she can get so that she is distracted and that she doesn’t really like the girls she goes out to party with. That she thinks theyre rather shallow contacts. Its hard when someone doesn’t have a social network that breaks their fall and the person has to carry all of it themselves. We ended up just talking and we watched an episode of ‘Bodies’ on Netflix. Its a murder mystery show.

I started crying when I got back home from that visit. I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted and sad about everything around me and in my own life.

Other than that I’ve not done much this week other than work (when I work nightshifts and get home from work at 7 AM in the morning there’s really not much of me left to use for anything during the day) and sleep and rot in bed due to feeling terrible. Unfortunately my shift schedule continues to be awful the next days and I’m thinking about calling in sick soon. I desperately need to rest.

Someone put a nail in my bike tire (the one you rode) and I brought it upstairs from the bike cellar to my balcony to repair it. I curse the person who deliberately put a nail in it.

During my walk through the city I also went to a pakistani store and saw this! I remember you cracking up about it in F.

How was that in 2022? I seem to have no general sense of time passing the entirety of 2023. After dad died in June, I have no recollection of time passing.

This morning I saw mum for the first time in about a month? I felt unsettled by my therapist talking to me in detail about my cycle of dissociation and what harm it brings to myself and the relationships to other people around me, because I apparently perceive reality fragmented, or selective, when I am dissociated (which I am most of the time). I‘m horrified to see the mechanisms of my brain play out in these ways, that I don‘t want.

My mother asked me how I was but she hadnt in weeks (she simply started an argument and left me when I was so unwell because of things between us a few weeks ago). I couldn‘t tell her. What use has it? She can‘t handle me feeling unwell and things will only get worse, if I tell her.

Unfortunately, not telling her how I am was also a wrong decision. She started accusing me of not actually wanting to see her and why am I pulling auch a depressed face and won‘t talk to her?!

Then she defended my older brother and his ex-girlfriend (the mother of my niece) and basically said that its my niece‘s own fault that her mother treats her badly. I can‘t believe how this cycle of parental neglect and abuse continues into the next generations, just because the adults in the child‘s life are irresponsible and egoistic. And I‘m sitting there with over 10 years of therapy, because of how my mum and dad were and my mother still defends other neglectful and abusive parents’ behaviour!

I couldn‘t bear it anymore and just got up without a word, paid (was cussed out by a grandma in the process) and left.

I don’t have much things to look forward to. I ordered a weighted blanket to help my sleep without medication. I also got a package of Palo Santo incense, which makes my flat smell cosy when I take naps.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and work through until next Wednesday and I’m thinking about calling in sick on Monday.

I felt miserable looking at your blog yesterday and seeing that you wish to experience ‚it‘ again, that you post about ‚letting love in again‘ I am not sure what you meant by that but my mind makes me think you‘re wishing to fall in love again…

How many times can I feel like I am losing the same person over and over again? I’m scared to look at your blogs now. I wish I could see something and know that you miss me and that you love me forever and be content and never look it up again.

Yesterday I went to the cellar and rummaged in your box. I found a transcript of the first ‚goodbye‘ Message you sent me in January 2023. I knew it was there. In it, you don‘t avoid telling me that you love me (I felt like your message from this January avoided using the word ‚love’ and it made me anxious about the reasons). I heard your voice say the words to me then and I started crying and breaking down in the cellar, my knees just gave in.

All that rumination about me being abandoned is probably not helping my mental wellbeing. Spending hours and days composing these entries and not knowing if they ever reach you, is also playing into this.

I don‘t know what to do, I am so so sad about it all, I just feel like giving up everything and letting go of life.

My sole hope is that I feel a bit better when it gets warmer, so that I can lay in the meadow with the sun on my skin, with the treetops swaying in the wind.

I don’t have much hope other than that.

Your Sabo who loves you.

0 notes

fanfiction-inc · 3 years

Note

Could I get headcanons for Hosea finding out Y/n is pregnant with their baby 🥺❤️. Maybe even Arthur if you feel like it. Thank you!

But of course, my dear! And I'm sorry if these are a bit shorter than the others. I hope you enjoy no less! ❤

Hosea

You and Hosea had been together for a long while now, starting out since nearly the time you joined the gang.

Separated from the others during a bad storm, stowed away in one of the abandoned cabins up in the mountains until you could regroup.

Sharing warmth, sharing a bed after a couple drunken confessions when alcohol was used to warm the belly and cheeks.

From there, you two have been inseparable, and it didn't go unnoticed.

It was public at this point, everyone around the camp knowing about the two of you since that day after the storm, returning to camp with all too fond looks and smiles only lovers would exchange.

Despite the gap in age, not an eye was batted in your direction.

Dutch was supportive of the relationship, happy that his closest friend was happy.

Arthur liked you, liked your kindness to everyone and Hosea especially.

John found that if everyone else liked you, you couldn't be that bad.

Now, this relationship wasn't all just kisses and cuddles like the others had only been subject to see on the off chance.

There were far more intimate moments that were hidden away for only the two of you to see and feel.

So when you approached him on the night before he's supposed to leave for a hunt with Arthur and spill out that you think you're pregnant, he was amazed.

Truly amazed by the revelation.

He was an older man, and it was widely known even in that day and age that the older you were, the less of a chance for children.

Though yes this was a limited chance, it wasn't zero.

"And...And you're sure that y'are?" Hosea questioned.

He looks at you, watches your nervous form fiddle with your thumbs and eyes try to avoid him.

He can tell how you feel. Insecure, worried. He was worried too.

What if he wasn't there for you with this child, if he died due to this life and you were left with a little boy or girl to remind you of your loss?

"I'm pretty sure. I've been sick to m'stomach, been unwell for the last few days and I...I didn't know how t'tell ya till now."

He soon comes to you, arms going around your middle and letting his forehead rest against your own.

"I didn't want to disappoint ya with a child." Your whisper of words has him tilting your chin up so your gaze meets his own.

"Sweetheart, you could never disappoint me, and especially not with a potential child!" He smiled that same goofy smile you fell in love with, gaze sweet. "I want this with you. I want a family."

He delivers a kiss to your lips, quick yet delicate, thumbs brushing away any stray tears that spill when you return his kiss.

Arthur

It hasn't been the longest while that you've known Arthur.

He started courting you when you frist joined the gang, using his cowboy charm to earn a giggle from your lips and ruggish good looks to capture your attention.

It wasn't his efforts that had gotten you with him, though, it was his insecurities and sweetness that slipped through on the off occasion.

How he was a "good man" in your eyes when he never saw himself as such.

So when you started getting more intimate, you two could get a bit carried away on many occasions.

Thus, leading to this moment where you sit nervously at his side, the man processing the words that came out of your mouth.

"So...So you're sayin' that I'm gonna be a pa," He pauses, looking at you. "And this kid is ours?"

"Yeah, Arthur. It's ours. I haven't been with anyone else and with how often we... Well, y'know, it makes sense." Your tone is calm, as if ready for whatever he may say.

You've got this if he doesn't want to be a father.

You can raise this baby on your own.

At least...You keep reminding yourself of such.

It takes him a moment to look at you, hand coming over to take your own and gaze softening when he sees your downcasted and thoughtful features.

"Hey, we're gon'do this together. Me and you." His lips kiss at your knuckles, drawing your attention back to him.

He smiled when he sees your surprised look, then the smile that creeped onto your lips.

"You, me, and our baby." You whisper, his body moving in for a quick kiss.

"Gon'be the toughest kid in the west." He remarked.

RDR2 TAG LIST:

@lise-soontobemarried | @imtootiredforreddit | @morgans-cowbaby | @btsloversaregreat | @sokkasdarling

#hosea matthews x reader #hosea matthews #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #lovely anon #thank you anon #anon ask

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secretsickysideblog · 3 years

Text

dumb lucky

"“you know my favorite color?” bucciarati slurs, brows furrowing. “anyway, it also came in purple, and black, and ivory, so I bought all of them, and uh…” “that’s cute,” bucciarati smiles, and abbacchio nearly dies at the way he looks while smiling unabashedly, weak as it may be right now. “you know my favorite color.”'

a mission takes bucciarati and abbacchio all the way to a town in piedmont where bucciarati finds himself fever-riddled in the midst of a snowstorm. abbacchio finds silver linings.

(sicktember day 1 - fever)

read under the cut!

It’s only tradition for things to go wrong for Passione.

Well, perhaps that’s a lie--normally, they get dumb lucky. But this means that when things go wrong, they go incredibly wrong in multiple ways at once. It’s only fair for the amount of times the gang has narrowly escaped death by the skin of their teeth. And Abbacchio is grateful that neither he nor Bucciarati are running the risk of death right now; it could be much, much worse.

But this mission could certainly be going much better. After all, Abbacchio never thought he’d be buying fever reducers in a little town in Piedmont, Italy as a part of the job of Neapolitan Mafioso. He hadn’t expected to be led all the way to Piedmont in the first place.

Easy mission my ass, Giovanna, he laments internally, rolling his eyes as he compares the prices between on and off-brand fever reducers. Abbacchio doesn’t usually bother to buy things like this, but Bucciarati’s fever--yes, a fever that had managed to swell up to a whopping 39 degrees overnight while on a mission--definitely needs to be treated.

He settles on both bottles, and he grabs a pack of water bottles, too. Abbacchio peruses the shelves, considering what else Bucciarati might need. He’d rather not come trudging out through this snow again if he could help it; it started coming down last night and hasn’t shown any sign of stopping since. He grabs another thermometer, a can of soup, and he’s about to head to the register when he spots something else that catches his eye.

It’s a large blanket in blue--Bucciarati’s favorite shade of blue (not that Abbacchio bothers to remember things like his Capo’s favorite color), and god, does it look soft. His gaze wanders to the window. Snow falls in clumps, kicked up into a white mist by the wind, and Abbacchio could shiver just looking at it. He does shiver thinking about the short walk back to the motel through that storm.

Abbacchio sighs, runs his fingertips over the inviting fleece. A blanket couldn’t hurt.

He grabs it and tucks it under the arm without the basket only to spot that there’s another of the same in purple. And another, in ivory? Abbacchio isn’t someone tempted by luxuries, but blankets in the cold seem like a necessity.

So he picks up both. Because Bucciarati has to sweat out the fever anyway, right? He’s too out of it to be angry, anyway.

Abbacchio lugs the three heavy blankets and the basket of various other supplies to the register, fishing around in his pocket for his wallet. The cashier looks over his selection as she rings up and bags each object, smiling fondly.

“Taking good care of someone, I see.”

Abbacchio huffs, lips quirking upward to a ghost of a smile. “Yeah, I guess I am. It’s about time he lets me.”

“These blankets are on sale, you know. Buy one and the other is half-off,” and, in an expertly-crafted manner of egging him into it, the cashier finishes her sell with, “Everyone loves a good blanket. Perfect to cuddle up under.”

Abbacchio doesn’t anticipate growing the balls to ‘cuddle-up’ with Bucciarati, but something about the idea sways him into it. He stares at the blanket shelf in consideration for a long moment before giving in and grabbing a fourth, this one in black.

The cashier is, clearly, proud of herself. Abbacchio can’t find it in himself to get as annoyed by this as usual. He did fall for her marketing scheme, after all. Can’t bitch about it if he gave in.

Altogether, he walks out of the store with five bags slung on his arms, four of which are occupied by heavy fleece and tied off to avoid any of the snowfall. His boots feel like weights as he trudges through planes of muddy white, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. His hands are freezing--he wishes he’d bought gloves.

When he finally returns to the motel room, Bucciarati is curled up on the bed. He looks just about the same as he did when Abbacchio left which is, admittedly, like shit. His hair, lacking its typical braid, fell in uneven layers wherever it wasn’t sticking to sweat-soaked skin. The only real color in his face is across his cheeks in bright, splotchy red, and though his eyes are closed now, they’ve been glazed over all morning.

Abbacchio shakes his head in disapproval, wondering how Bucciarati managed to just ignore this, because he knows damn well it didn’t just spark overnight. He must’ve been feeling at least vaguely unwell before they’d embarked on this (unexpectedly) lengthy journey. Abbacchio tells himself, as he has every time he starts thinking about how his Capo sucks at self-care, that he’ll just bitch at him about it later; criticizing a sick person is mean, and besides, there’s not enough cognizance in his fever-addled head to comprehend annoyance right now anyway.

He unties his scarf, shrugs off his coat, and unbags the items on the small coffee table in the room. Bucciarati stirs into half-lucidity, as told by the mix of a groan and a whine that slips from him after a bit of shifting around. Abbacchio looks over to him, seeing his hazy blues blink open, and he immediately grabs the bottle of fever reducers to force down his throat now while he’s just awake enough to swallow and not awake enough to protest.

“Here,” he holds out a bottle of water and two of the pills for Bucciarati to take, which he does after taking a second to process the command. He moves sluggishly, but he manages to get the pills down and put the water bottle on the nightstand. Abbacchio feels his forehead with the back of his hand, frowning at how much he’s burning still.

He goes to pull away. Bucciarati doesn’t let him, grabbing his wrist and holding his hand there.

“What are you doing?”

“Cold,” he mumbles, letting his eyes flutter closed again. “Feels nice.”

Abbacchio opens his mouth, closes it. Thanks the lord above that Bucciarati can’t see the way his cheeks heat up as though he’s contracted a fever. After a moment of hesitance, Abbacchio brings both of his hands up to cup Bucciarati’s cheeks, and the other man sighs contentedly.

“Well, if it’s cold you want, maybe you should go take a nap in the snow,” Abbacchio jokes.

“Hm,” Bucciarati takes a breath. “Perhaps I should.”

Abbacchio stares down at Bucciarati. At the way his eyelashes, dark and thick, fan out across his cheeks. At his lips, still pretty and pink and miraculously not very chapped. Even now, sick as a dog, Bucciarati is gorgeous. Abbacchio could watch him forever, he’s sure, but then he realizes how creepy he’s being and abruptly pulls away. Bucciarati’s eyes open with a dejected look to them, and Abbacchio reminds himself that it’s not because it’s his hands, it’s because his hands are cold and Bucciarati is delusional with fever.

“Uh, so, I got you two kinds of fever reducer, and you’re gonna take it whether you like it or not,” Abbacchio starts to say, clearing his throat. Bucciarati hums, half-listening. “I got water. A can of soup, if you get hungry, but since you just woke up I’m sure you’re not yet.”

Bucciarati doesn’t respond, so Abbacchio assumes he’s right. He’ll make him eat something later.

“And,” Abbacchio unties the other four bags, “I know you’re not looking to get warmer, but fevers have to be sweat out, right? I got blankets. They were on sale.”

Bucciarati almost whines, though it’s quiet, subtle. Abbacchio opts to ignore it, because it does nothing good for his heart.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but look, it’s your favorite color,” Abbacchio holds up the blanket in proud display. Bucciarati looks at it, but it’s clear that he’s not fully seeing it.

“You know my favorite color?” Bucciarati slurs, brows furrowing.

“Anyway, it also came in purple, and black, and ivory, so I bought all of them, and uh…”

“That’s cute,” Bucciarati smiles, and Abbacchio nearly dies at the way he looks while smiling unabashedly, weak as it may be right now. “You know my favorite color.”

Abbacchio takes the tags off the plush fabric and chucks it at Bucciarati. Bucciarati, as expected, makes no move to catch it. It takes him a minute to slip the fleece off of his head and onto his lap. This process is repeated four more times as a mountain of plush fabric piles up on the bed--the singular bed, which Abbacchio would be incredibly nervous about if this was a year ago, but they’ve been stuck in the ‘unfortunate’ one-bed scenario too many times for him to care anymore.

“This is...so many,” Bucciarati murmurs, staring down at the pile. He runs his thumb along the hem of the blue one. “They are soft, though.”

“I don’t know if you can feel how cold it is in here, much less out there,” Abbacchio gestures towards the storm just beyond the windows, “but we needed them. I don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here, between your fever and the bastard we’re after.”

Bucciarati nods, absently petting the blankets. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Falling ill,” Bucciarati says it like it’s the most obvious reason to apologize in the world. “We’re stuck here. It’s my fault.”

Abbacchio rolls his eyes. “Stop apologizing for things you can’t control.”

Bucciarati looks like he wants to protest, but then his expression turns confused as if his own thought process doesn’t make sense to him anymore. Abbacchio snorts at the sight and shakes his head before climbing into bed beside the other man and urging him to lay back down.

“I’m all sweaty.”

“I don’t care,” Abbacchio pulls one of the many blankets around them up to his shoulders, and another about halfway above that. He lets Bucciarati kick the others aside. “You’re warm, and I’m cold. I’m finding silver linings.”

Bucciarati chuckles a little. If he were any more coherent, he’d make a joke about Abbacchio’s usual pessimistic cynicism being an act; the latter is almost grateful, at that thought, for the fever. The wind howls outside as the storm picks up. It’s definitely not an ideal situation, but it could be much worse.

Bucciarati turns to nuzzle his face into the crook of Abbacchio’s neck. Tentatively, Abbacchio wraps an arm around him.

Maybe this was just dumb luck in disguise.

#sicktember #sicktember2021 #jjba sickfic #jjba fanfiction #jojo's bizarre adventure sickfic #bruabba #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #leone abbacchio #bruno x abbacchio #bruabba sickfic #sick!bruno #caring!abbacchio #sickfic #fever #nice first post

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