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thevindicativevordan · 3 years

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On Livewire

You know Leslie is probably the most popular and well known female Superman Rogue mainly because they use her so heavily in outside media.

Which makes sense given her debut in Superman: The Animated Series, but it still kind of fascinates me. They didn't bring her into comics continuity until 2006 apparently, with Gail Simone and John Byrne (Byrne of all the creators!) being the ones to finally fold her in. Even after they brought her in, they still have never given her that much attention or focus which is a disappointment for me frankly, because Livewire is honestly fantastic in Scott McCloud and later Mark Millar's Superman Adventures runs, and I would say with complete sincerity that those two are probably her best writers. "Millar writing a female character well?" you scoff at in disbelief. I know, I was shocked too! But she's funny, clever, and a huge pain in the ass for Supes. Reading how she was used there, and rewatching her STAS incarnation recently, really made a big realization for the character hit me like a lightning bolt (couldn't resist):

She's basically an evil superpowered Lois Lane! I know I can't have been the first one to realize that, although I haven't seen anyone else actually outright state it anywhere, but c'mon it's so obvious! She's a reporter of a sorts as well thanks to being a disc jockey, her debut in STAS even has her interviewing Lois and Clark! She's got strong opinions on Superman that conflict with the general opinion about him (Lois being pro-Superman when everyone else is more hostile towards him at first, Livewire being anti-Superman when everyone else has embraced him as their hero). She's rude and abrasive, and doesn't care if her opinions offend people, which sure does remind me of Lois at her meanest.

Livewire to me is an examination of what Lois would be like if she abandoned her morals or never really had them in the first place. Leslie doesn't care about the "truth" which is the big difference between her and Lois. Lois can be headstrong, willful, and outright rude, but it's all in service of her pursuit of higher ideals. Livewire doesn't care about that, she carries about getting people to pay attention to her, and getting the recognition and wealth she believes she's owed.

What I'd Do With Livewire

It wasn't until I had that big realization about Leslie that I figured out what role she should play with regards to Clark: She should be Clark's old college ex who was the one who got him into journalism in the first place.

Clark's college years are unexplored territory narratively, typically we jump from his childhood in Smallville right into his debut in Metropolis. Now I know Clark dated Lori that mermaid back in Pre-Crisis during his college years, and while that's a fun bit of trivia, it doesn't really add anything meaningful in the same way that I think Leslie and Clark dating could. So I'd rather go with Leslie because I think she makes for a better foil for Clark and because the two of them would benefit from having a deeper connection established, plus Leslie could get fleshed out as a character more.

I like the explanation that Clark chose journalism in part because it challenges him in ways his powers can't, but in the comics they've rarely bothered to explain how he chose that field in the first place. I would have meeting Leslie at college be that big moment where he starts to figure himself out. She's assertive and confident, and Clark is attracted to that for similar reasons he's attracted to Lois. Leslie would start out as an optimist and idealist in the same way Clark is, and the two would bond and go into journalism together, with Leslie being the one who really believes in the field initially. They'd both be big believers in the duty of the press to inform and the presses ability to shape public opinion, with Clark attracted to investigative journalism and Leslie attracted more to broadcast and digital journalism. They start to date and for a moment, Clark seriously wonders if this is the one.

The big break between them comes when Clark and Leslie go on a trip around the world during their senior year of college. That trip would be where both of them learn how crappy the world is. Clark always had some idea of how bad things were because of his powers, but the trip is where he really starts to realize that there is a real need for someone of his powers to step up, and that there are hard limits to just how much he can accomplish as a member of the press. That same realization is what shatters Leslie's idealism and optimism. She loses faith in the ability to make a difference, to punch through the wall of public indifference, and as a result she gives up that dream. Instead she decides that if you can't beat them, join them: she switches instead to telling the masses what the powers that be want them to hear in exchange for money, to saying whatever the masses will give her attention and prestige for, embracing tabloid journalism that prioritizes clicks and engagement over information. Ultimately it destroys the relationship between Leslie and Clark with her viewing him as a sap and him viewing her as a sellout.

I think that origin really would help flesh out her worldview and motivation a lot more. She's a former idealist who has been broken by the world in a similar way to Poison Ivy. Leslie thus acts as a foil to Clark and Lois in that she's someone who let the world rob her of her idealism and sold out on the truth in exchange for material success. She's what Clark or Lois could've been if they took Lex's offer to work for him, and they should recognize that to some degree. Clark should have conflicting feelings for her, not romantically that relationship is dead, but in terms of sometimes he wonders if he's just wasting his life trying to fight for truth and justice. So few people seem to care about those principles, why hold on so tight to them? Why not just look out for his own self-interest the way everyone else seems to? It's the refusal to give up even when it looks pointless that makes the two of them different, and makes Clark a hero and Livewire a villain.

How I'd Like Livewire To Operate

There's a lack of imagination in how Livewire is used on the comic side as I see it.

Like most Superman Rogues the typical Superman writer doesn't seem to have a clue what to do with her beyond generic "villain" stuff, but that does a disservice to what Livewire brings to the table. Livewire does want to fry Superman to a crisp, but that's not what her daily goal is to accomplish. More importantly, she wants respect and she wants money, and the way she gets both is not by trying to rob banks, it's by leaning into her background as a media personality combined with her new powers. Unleashing electric bolts is honestly the least impressive part of her powerset in terms of her ability to manipulate anything and everything technology.

The Internet? Livewire can crash the entire thing with ease, or restrict access to portions of it. She can do the reverse and smash through firewalls and encryption like it's made of paper. Imagine Livewire shutting off the power grid or causing it to explode, secretly using your "smart" tech to record your every move, uploading ransomware to every piece of technology in Metropolis, emptying the bank accounts of anyone who annoys her, or bringing Metropolis to it's knees thanks to the "City of Tomorrow" being a test ground for the Internet of Things, so everything is connected and thus easily manipulated. Smart cars crash into each other, elevators randomly drop, trains are unable to stop and simply accelerate onward unceasingly, plans attempting to land find their instruments on the fritz, anything and everything is Livewire's to control. But terrorism, while entertaining and occasionally profitable, isn't Livewire's main focus either.

One of my favorite Superman Adventures stories with her had Livewire manipulating TV broadcast signals so that any time there was a male news reporter on screen, the signal wouldn't come through. Stuff like that, where Livewire is making life hell for people in a way that isn't immediately life-threatening is what I envision as her day to day operations, but her bread and butter is fake news. What Livewire is REALLY good at doing is manipulating the public due to her journalism background plus her powers. She can make fake videos that look totally authentic, fake articles that seem to come from credible sources, fake voice recordings, she can make anyone appear to do or say anything through the Internet, and then she can upload that to the devices of every single person in Metropolis.

You can get stories about the mayor being framed for taking bribes, local activists cast as grifters, and supposed upstanding citizens such as Lois Lane and Clark Kent appearing to take orders from criminals like Intergang on what stories to run. Basically you lean into the journalism aspect for Livewire stories where Clark and Lois have to investigate to see whether what Livewire is putting out there is fake or legit, with peoples lives and reputations at stake (including frequently their own).

And when Superman and Livewire actually do clash physically? I don't care how it gets justified, Livewire simply being that powerful, her lightning being "special", she has the ability to manipulate Superman's bioelectric field, whatever: she can hurt him. When she hits Supes with lightning, it burns. It's painful as all hell. Livewire needs to be a threat and I'd like her to be treated as a powerhouse since I don't see a reason why that shouldn't be the case. Livewire is a really cool Rogue, there's a reason she's managed to keep getting used long after the DCAU ended. I hope the comics creators start utilizing her to her full potential.

#superman #livewire #lois lane #dc comics

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direwolf-summer · 3 years

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Some thoughts on Lenù and Remus

Just finished Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series and was thinking about how easily certain kind of people can get into toxic relationships. It’s almost like they are made for them. Those who except for a very limited number of very intense friendships generally keep to themselves, who are used to hiding their real reactions and emotions and sometimes violence behind a docile & meek façade, who are good at repressing their own feelings and manipulate that of others (to deflect a difficult situation or to make the others like them). Who, most of all, don’t let themselves get attached easily but once they do, they hang on for their dear life. Sounds familiar?

No, I’m not talking about Remus Lupin, at least not for now. I’m talking about Lenù. But really it’s not hard at all to spot the parallel between Lenù/Lila and r/s if you really tried. (And I shamelessly did) I have no doubt that in modern times Remus would be an excellent writer just like Lenù, because he already has that one trait which makes a terrifyingly good writer at his disposal: he lies. He craves truths but he lies. He is a compulsive liar and that can be a very erotic thing (erotic in the sense of Susan Sontag’s quote, “I think friendship is very erotic, but it isn’t necessarily sexual.”) — because he can make anything happen, in his mind, and what could be sexier than that?

I have long held the belief that all intimate relationships are fictional. The people we thought we know best are nothing but a phantom version of themselves that we choose to believe, that we want to see. To quote Kate in Été 85 (thanks, François Ozon): “La vérité, Alex, c’est que t’as aimé un visage et un corps, et que t’as mis dedans la personne que tu voulais.” (Translation: The truth, Alex, is that you love a face and a body, and then you put the person you love inside.) We craft this person, this relationship, carefully, tirelessly, with them, together. It exists only because both parties believe in it, and the moment one party withdraws, the magic breaks.

(And that is fine, that is a beautiful thing. Because as long as the person is alive and breathing, they can never fail to surprise you.)

But for someone like Remus/Lenù, things can go terribly wrong. Because they are so good at lying even (or especially, as I would argue) to themselves, they can justify almost anything that’s been imposed on them, making them a perfect victim for gaslighting. When Nino confessed to Lenù that back in high school he threw away her article instead of publishing it out of jealousy, Lenù’s gut reaction was astonishment. But she quickly calmed down. She thought, he told me this ugly truth, at the pain of baring his basest self, doesn’t that mean he trusts me endlessly? She immediately forgave him and became more affectionate.

Now we don’t see Remus being deliberately mistreated by any romantic partner(s) in canon, but we do see how easily he’d let people he loves & trusts walk over him, most notably in The Prank (Sirius, apologize this moment!), so it is not unimaginable to stretch it further. My favourite author (and dear Tumblr friend! 🥰) @theprongsletthatlived once wrote something where Remus is an older divorcee. In that headcanon Remus got married young (like nineteen) and is used to avoiding handsome, charming men because of his ex-husband Greyback’s jealous streak. I was honestly struck by how accurate this characterization is (or, let’s say, how close to my very own, very biased interpretation of Remus), because isn’t it typical of Remus to jump head first into a toxic relationship if he didn’t meet Sirius? Or in his lost years? I’m not saying r/s is the epitome of healthy relationship – they definitely have that toxic potential and to some extent they arguably are – but just the certainty with which you know Sirius would be the first to drag Remus out of any toxic relationship with his bare hands, no matter his relationship status with Remus, man, that’s enough reason for me to stay in this ship forever.

#my post #let me play Fall Out Boy's Phoenix for our Padfoot #put on my war paint #I'm gonna change you like a remix #Then I'll raise you like a phoenix #VV also has a very interesting theory on characterization in different settings that you should check out!#what works for a character and what not should not be strictly dictated by canon #but rather on what moves your story forward

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avidbeader · 4 years

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CW: Voltron S8 talk, VLD S8 talk, Shiro’s marriage, ship wars

I’ve been seeing an influx of new VLD fans in the last several months – guess people have more time to watch shows – and it’s brought in a new wave of Sheith fans. And that’s lovely – having more people to create and cheer is a good thing. I know I’ve pointed a lot of people at “Sheith the Movie” so they can have just the Sheith (all 3.5 hours of their scenes with some context) if they want.

However, even if the new fans have been aware of how toxic the klanti shippers were (Klance fans who resorted to slander, harassment, and threats to both other fans and the show’s cast and crew in an attempt to force the studio to make their ship canon), I’m seeing some conflict crop up because some new fans aren’t aware of just how ugly things got in 2018, that most of the people who embraced Shiro and the random groom as a ship were the same people who had spent the previous two years attacking Sheith fans.

In June, we had Season 6. Keith and Lance interaction was at an all-time low. Keith said “I love you” to Shiro in what he thought was a dying confession. Yes, it was preceded by “You’re my brother (in arms)”, but interviews with showrunners like story editor Josh Hamilton made it clear that Keith was trying his best to encapsulate just how important Shiro was to him (without saying that they almost certainly had to include the “brother” line to give DW executives plausible deniability).

In July, we had the SDCC showing of Season 7’s first episode and the confirmation that Shiro is an LGBT character. Klance fans jumped all over the character of Shiro’s ex-boyfriend Adam, because in their minds he would be the key to invalidating Sheith. The media properly observed that Shiro and Adam had broken up over very profound issues and drew the conclusion that if Shiro were to get an on-screen romance in the remainder of the series, Keith was the obvious choice.

In August, we had Season 7. Instead of the heartfelt Shiro/Adam reunion klantis were salivating for, we saw Adam get killed in the Galra invasion. And the klantis rose up, hurling so many unjustified accusations of “fridging” or “bury your gays” over a minor character with a total of maybe three minutes of screen time, that JDS actually had to put his name to an unnecessary apology from the studio.

We also had Keith and Shiro’s backstory, showing just how close of friends they became after Shiro helped Keith join the Garrison, AND Keith saving Shiro yet again. While Lance and Allura continued to grow closer. Because it was clear that the producers had never once considered making Keith and Lance a thing, klanti fans went ballistic with their slander, accusing Sheith of being pedophilic and incestuous when neither accusation has any canon basis at all.

And in December, we got Season 8. Season 8 with a mostly new set of writers who didn’t do their research. Season 8 that tried to cram in too much excess content while finishing up a major plotline. Season 8 that finally showed that the producers had never fully thought through or sought input for handling Shiro, a character they’d originally planned to kill off, decided to make their LGBT rep when told to keep him, and then failed to pick up the strong story arcs he had in the first seasons. And because studio execs gave JDS and LM a single day to change their epilogue cards from minor characters to the main team, we got the very bad decision to marry Shiro off to a random character.

(And the character was random. Stills were leaked that showed Shiro kissing a character that had been seen once in the very first episode, but was too obviously a reference to a character in another series. It clearly didn’t matter to JDS/LM or the people above them who Shiro married as long as it wasn’t another main character. Because we’ve barely passed the point where we can have more than one character of a certain race in the main cast, much less multiple LGBT characters.)

Like they did with Adam, klantis jumped all over “Curtis” as their savior, because to them this should have killed Sheith fandom. And a great many Sheith fans did leave, angry and hurt, not because their ship wasn’t canon (very few Sheith fans expected more than an open ending) but because the concept of Shiro marrying some random character with absolutely no buildup undercut the notion of Shiro as a strong example of LGBT rep. Because those endcards erased every single character’s growth through the series, not just Shiro’s.

Media saw the ploy for what it was, a clumsy attempt to try and reach for a historic milestone when today’s audiences aren’t looking for milestones anymore. Today’s audiences want to be included in the entire narrative. No one talks about Shiro’s wedding as a good example of rep. In mainstream pop media, no one talks about Shiro at all, in contrast to the celebrations post-SDCC. When articles are written about progress in children’s media, Shiro is never included on the list. It’s only this past June, 2020, that DreamWorks shoved Shiro into the background of a collage of LGBT characters from their cartoons, WITHOUT his desultory groom.

LGBT fans, especially gay men, saw the ploy for what it was. Just as the media collectively set Shiro’s wedding aside when talking about positive LGBT rep, gay men spoke out against it. Too bad they didn’t get any kind of apology from DW and the best JDS/LM could say on their one appearance on an “Afterbuzz” was “But we tried! Something was better than nothing!”

And the majority of Sheith fans who remained in the fandom collectively jettisoned Season 8 and began producing even more content. There have been schisms and fallouts, mainly over whether/how carefully to tag for content that includes Adam or “Curtis”, but the fandom as a whole has continued to produce fic, art, vids, and merch. There’s a reason people outside the fandom groan “Sheith in 2020?” There’s a reason antis continue to push their lies about the ship. We haven’t let go of what we love, we continue to create, and we continue to attract new fans.

But most of us do not want to engage in any way with “Curtis” content unless a fix-it is involved (and sometimes not even then – for many of us, Season 8 does not exist). We don’t care about a character who had zero interaction with Shiro before the endcard, whose name isn’t even spoken once in the show’s dialogue – the only reasons we know it are the IMDB credits and one reference in the close-captions identifying who is speaking (and there’s stronger evidence to show that “Curtis” is a last name, not a first name).

If other people find enough of an attachment to this character to ship him, fine. You do you. But most Sheith fans expect those who support Shiro’s wedding to be klantis and therefore look to avoid conflict by minimizing contact. We do not forget. We do not forgive. We just want to be left alone to enjoy our ship in peace.

#voltron #sheith #ship discourse #a little context #why we don't want to interact with fans of Shiro's so-called wedding #because someone wanted to start up a fic/art exchange between Sheith fans and fans of that #and was bewildered that they got negative reactions to the idea #part of being a proshipper or ship-positive is staying in one's lane

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lloydskywalkers · 4 years

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There’s Insurance for That

In which Skylor buys lunch, stops a criminal, and learns the best way to blow up the kitchen electronics section, which is a pretty normal week for her, she guesses. Or, five places the ninja are no longer allowed into, featuring Skylor.

(been hitting a bit of a writer’s block with everything else lately, so here’s this...disaster, i guess?? because these ninja are definitely a disaster in this, but i was having fun so. this is the bed bath & beyond fic btw, in case anyone was wondering gdfkgdh)

1. My. Kazami’s Ramen Place

At this point, sadly, Skylor’s used to it.

It’s around a quarter to noon on a Monday, just as she's leaving the noodle shop for her well-deserved lunch break, when a familiar scream splits the relatively-quiet afternoon air on this side of Ninjago City.

The only reason Skylor does not immediately dissolve into panic at said scream is because she is — also sadly — familiar with the variations of it, and this one sounds less like it’s Lloyd’s “I’m-in-terrible-danger-and/or-pain-again” scream, and more like his “I’m-free-falling-on-purpose-from-the-sky-again” scream. Which is, in and of itself, not entirely concerning. In fact, it’d probably be more unusual not to see Lloyd go falling from the sky at some point during any of the ninjas’ higher-than-eight-feet battles, because somehow that’s become a habitual thing. The sky is blue, fire is hot, Kai uses hair gel — Lloyd is going to drop screaming from the sky at some point this month.

So instead of panicking, Skylor figures she’ll just stand in the vicinity until Lloyd either climbs out of another dumpster, or lands on top of her. Kai doesn’t seem to be around to catch him, so Skylor’s prepared to step up, even though it looks like Lloyd’s got a pretty good handle on landing, at the angle she’s watching him from.

Still though, she muses. You’d think he’d have started actively wearing a parachute at this point.

“Kai suggested that,” Lloyd says, after he’s finally able to stand straight, and he’s not quite as cross-eyed. He frowns at his reflection in a store window as they pass by, scuffing at his windblown hair again. “But it gets in the way, you know? It throws off my backflips.”

“That’s a nail in the coffin right there,” Skylor agrees, leading them across another sidewalk. Lloyd’s attracting a lot of looks, with his bright green battle gi and razor-sharp sword strapped across his back, but fortunately no one’s started crowding them yet. Probably because the razor-sharp sword strapped to his back. “Can’t have your fighting style completely crippled,” she adds.

“I don’t backflip that much,” Lloyd huffs. Yes, you do, is on the tip of Skylor’s tongue, because she’s seen him fight, but she decides not to pick that battle…this time.

“Besides,” Lloyd continues. “I don’t really need a parachute, anyways. I always make sure to aim for like, somewhere safe to land. Relatively safe. Safe-ish.”

Skylor eyes him. “You landed in a dumpster.”

Lloyd bristles in offense. “I did not! It was a perfectly respectable recycling bin.”

“Same thing, if you ask me.”

“Not even close. Dumpsters are gross. Recycling bins you just crash through a whole bunch of cardboard and old newspapers. It’s luxury trash diving.”

Skylor just sighs, shaking her head, and edits the text she’s been tapping out for Kai.

Skylor > found your kid in a recycling bin

Skylor > taking him to lunch bc you’re clearly starving him again

Skylor > he’s alive btw

Kai > oh thank fsm

Kai > tell him he’s grounded

Kai > u never take me for lunch :(

Skylor > maybe if u dropped on me from the sky sometime i would

“Hey, are the others busy?” she asks Lloyd in afterthought. “Like…fighting anyone?”

“Huh?” Lloyd blinks. He then flushes, rubbing the back of his head. “Ah, no. We’d pretty much finished up the fight when I, uh…there was a break-in, on the Bounty? We had the guys all taken care of, but they blew part of the mast up, and it left debris all over the deck, so I kind of…maybe….tripped…”

Lloyd is bright red by the time he finishes the sentence. Skylor wouldn’t feel so bad about it, if she wasn’t doubled over laughing at him in the middle of rush hour traffic.

“You are a trained ninja,” she breathes out, between snickers.

“I know,” Lloyd moans.

“You’re like, part god.”

“I know,” Lloyd moans again, into his hands this time. Skylor has to grab his shoulders and forcibly drag him along down the crowded street, trying not to cringe inside at all the looks they’re getting.

“Kai says you’re grounded, by the way,” she says, as the last of her laughter fades.

That snaps Lloyd out of it. “He can’t ground me,” he scowls. “I’m leader.”

“Stop falling from the sky, and maybe he’ll give it a rest,” Skylor replies, glancing down as her phone buzzes again.

Kai > I’d join u but I’m stuck on prison delivery

Kai > nya’s coming to pick up the demon spawn tho

Skylor > nice I’ve been wanting to buy her lunch

Kai > cruel

“—don’t know what you mean, I don’t fall that often, and most of the time it’s on purpose, anyways—”

Skylor chooses to ignore Lloyd’s slightly-concerning, sulking rambling, and pats his shoulder instead. “Nya’s coming for lunch, too,” she says. “Does ramen sound good?”

“Oh, yeah.” Lloyd brightens, seemingly cheered by the reminder he’s getting food out of this. “It’s been a while since I’ve eaten out.”

“I can tell,” Skylor says, eyeing him. “Cole hasn’t been cooking for you, has he?"

“No, but we put Zane on mandatory break so he could relax a bit, and we’re all suffering for it.”

Lloyd and Skylor both jump at Nya’s voice, not having heard her coming up behind them.

“Nya!” Lloyd beams. “Skylor is — ouch, hey, let go!”

“That’s what you get for giving me gray hairs again,” Nya scolds, digging her knuckles into Lloyd’s hair. She looks up from the hold she’s pulled him into, and smiles brightly at Skylor. “Hi, Skylor. Nice to see you.”

“Hi, Nya.” Skylor gives a little wave, watching Lloyd squirm out of Nya’s grasp in amusement.

“So, ramen?” Nya says, giving Lloyd one last elbow in the side before joining Skylor.

“Yeah,” she says. “I was thinking the place down on seventh, the Sobahouse, I think?”

Lloyd and Nya both stiffen, their steps slowing. Skylor pauses, turning to stare at them in confusion. “That’s not the one owned by someone named Mr. Kazami, is it?” Nya finally asks, hesitantly.

“Uh, yeah, it is, actually,” Skylor blinks. “He’s pretty nice, we go to the same grocer on weekends.”

“Ah,” Lloyd says, carefully.

“Hm,” Nya hesitates.

Skylor looks between the two of them, now completely stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. She really hopes no one is getting pictures of her like this. There are enough flash articles about the rumored orange ninja cryptid on the internet as it is. “Is that…a problem?”

Nya pointedly stares at the sky as if it’s the most interesting thing she’s seen all day. Baffled, Skylor tries the weaker link. Lloyd swallows, avoiding her eyes as he bounces from leg to leg, as if the mere thought of trying to enter the restaurant is terrifying. Which is mildly alarming, because this is the same kid who power-walked straight into a prison full of escaped violent criminals, his psychotic ex, and his undead murderous dad without hesitation.

“We can’t,” Lloyd finally mutters, staring at the sidewalk. Nya elbows him in the side, hissing “weak link” as she does. Lloyd just glares at her.

“O-okay,” Skylor says, unsure. “I mean, that’s fine if you guys want to go somewhere else. I just didn’t know you…didn’t like this place…”

“No, we do,” Lloyd grinds out, and he looks more embarrassed than terrified now, so Skylor aborts her half-formed plans of speed-dialing Karloff. “We just can’t. Go in, that is. We’re not allowed to.”

Skylor stares at him. “You’re not allowed in? Why not?”

“Because,” Nya forces through gritted teeth. “They banned us.”

“They what?” Skylor gapes.

Nya presses her lips together tightly. Lloyd stares very hard at the ground, as if desperately trying to convince himself to keep quiet. Skylor can pinpoint the moment he breaks, his expression contorting as he throws his hands up wildly. “You blow their electrical system up one time—”

“Oh guys, no,” Skylor groans, before bursting into laughter at him for the second time that day. Lloyd looks incredibly unappreciative, his expression scrunching up in annoyance like she hasn’t seen since that one stupid skating match with Chamille, and that just makes her laugh harder.

“We were trying to save them!” Nya defends indignantly. “It’s not our fault they had weak wiring—”

“I just got a little too into it, it’s — it’s Nya’s fault, she’s the one that said it’d be cool if I tried to do shockwave thing like in—”

“That was a mutual thing and you know it!”

“Oh guys, no,” Skylor wheezes into her hands.

“It worked!”

“Poor Mr. Kazami,” Skylor manages, through snickers. Lloyd’s shoulders slump, his upper lip pouting, and Nya crosses her arms, as if refusing to look ashamed.

“It’s not like the other guys aren’t banned from anywhere, either—”

“Alright, alright,” Skylor waves her hands, taking pity on them. “We’ll go somewhere else.”

“Good,” Nya mutters, as Lloyd exhales in relief. Skylor just snickers again, leading them down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. She bites her lip, shaking her head, before a thought occurs to her.

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘it’s not like they aren’t banned from anywhere’?” she frowns. “You guys are banned from more than one place?”

“No,” Nya says firmly, before Lloyd can even speak up. “Forget I said anything.”

Skylor will do no such thing, but she decides it’s in her best interest not to pursue it. Nya is not the sort of person to trifle with, and she does want that ramen.

She gets her answer soon enough, anyways.

2. Ninjago City Aquarium

While Skylor has the early shift on Tuesdays, she does get the afternoons off, which is pretty nice for the most part, if it didn’t mean she’d be bored for the rest of the day. So she hits the grocery store and decides to take the long way home, partially because walking is supposed to be good for you, and partially in hopes that one of the ninja will drop in on her again.

She’s not disappointed.

Granted, a minor explosion going off from inside the Ninjago City Aquarium wasn’t exactly what she was expecting today, but the figures in bright red and white arguing furiously outside the security perimeter are par for the course.

It’s a little odd that they haven’t already rushed in yet, Skylor notes, but with the way they’re loudly yelling at each other in the middle of the street, she figures she’ll find out soon enough.

“No, Kai, it is our civic duty to follow the laws put in place for the safety of civilians—”

“Oh come on, you get brainwashed into a slightly-murderous emperor one time and now you’re a stickler for everything?!”

"One time was enough, Kai!”

“Uh, hi guys,” Skylor approaches the two, hesitantly. “Is everything alright?”

“Skylor!” Kai whirls on her, his eyes wild. “Thank FSM, you’ve gotta help us out — they won’t let us in!” He shakes his fist at the aquarium doors, before springing for the security gate. “Let us in, let us in—”

“Shaking the gate like an animal is not going to convince them, Kai!” Zane pleads, prying Kai away. He shoots Skylor an apologetic glance as he wrangles Kai into a gentle chokehold. “We would greatly appreciate your help, if possible. There’s a low-threat criminal with an unfortunate assortment of weaponry who ran into the aquarium, and we’re legally unable to pursue. If you could try to drive him out, perhaps?”

“I — you — you’re what?” Skylor has the weirdest sense of déjà vu, before it’s lost in confusion. Her head swivels from the frustrated expression on Kai’s face to the pleading one on Zane’s, then to the grocery bags in her hands. She looks back up at Kai, who’s now giving her the puppy eyes. Something from inside the aquarium explodes loudly.

“Sure,” she sighs, handing Kai her grocery bags. “Just one guy?”

“Just one guy,” Kai exhales in relief. “You’re a lifesaver, Skylor, I — hey, are these those snack cakes they made to look like us?”

“Yes, eat them and you die,” Skylor hisses. She turns to Zane, holding her hand out half-hesitantly. “Lend a girl some ice powers?”

“Of course,” Zane nods, letting her take his hand. There’s a brief moment as Skylor melds her power with Zane’s, absorbing the icy force and mimicking it to her own — a part of her notes vaguely that it’s stronger than the last time she borrowed it, but she shakes it off, pulling her hand back and tugging the hood of her jacket up, mentally hoping no one writes another article about the possible existence of a cryptid orange ninja after this.

“Alright,” she says. “Be back in five.”

“Thank you,” Zane says fervently, as Kai sputters, “Hey, why didn’t you borrow my power?”

“Because fire is explosive, and you’ve gotta be banned from here for a reason!” Skylor calls back, ice already misting over her fingertips as she sprints inside the aquarium.

“You’d be surprised,” Kai mutters, after her retreating back.

***********************

“So,” Skylor says, flexing her right hand and wincing briefly. That last right hook she’d thrown at the guy might have been a little too hard, in hindsight. But he was being a jerk, and threatening to set off a bomb near the little seahorses — and it did do the trick, so now the aquarium can have the host of cop cars off its back. Skylor feels pretty accomplished in her good deed for the day, actually. “Why, again, couldn’t you guys have taken care of that yourselves? Not that I minded,” she adds, quickly. Using the ice element had been fun. She’d forgotten what she could do with Zane’s powers.

Kai gives a nervous laugh that’s so fake it almost hurts, especially with the pained expression he makes at the end. Zane just rubs his temple with a hand, looking eternally weary.

“Like I said, we are legally not permitted to enter the aquarium, until…when was it again, Kai?”

“Five years from now,” Kai mutters. “Or whenever the director dies.”

“Yes, five years from now,” Zane repeats, with a dead sort of look in his eyes. “So your assistance was very much appreciated. Thank you.”

“It was no problem, but — wait, hold on, how are you banned from the aquarium for five years?” she stutters. “I mean, I can get Lloyd and Nya with the ramen place—”

“Ha! They told you about that? It was great—”

“Kai, please.”

“—and I can understand Kai, but you, Zane?”

She feels a little guilty for calling him out so bluntly, but it’s Zane. Zane doesn’t just get banned from places, she has to know. And he doesn’t look too upset at the question. Kai looks mildly betrayed, but not that much. They both know Skylor’s point is too valid for him to argue with effectively.

Zane gives another bone-weary sigh. “There is a small chance, that there was a time we were pursuing another villain here, and during that battle, I might have…underestimated the amount of ice I was putting out.” Zane shifts, looking pained. “Which in turn accidentally spread to any bodies of liquid that happened to be nearby at the time, which perhaps were filled with rather expensive aquatic life.”

“You froze a fish exhibit,” Skylor deadpans.

“They were merely in extreme hibernation,” Zane grits out. “They would have been fine, had Kai not tried to fix the ice.”

“Hey, it made sense! I could melt it quickest!”

“Except you didn’t just melt it, did you? No, you had an entire fish fry—”

“The poor fish,” Skylor says, staring at them blankly. “What were they?”

“Like, these rainbow fish, from way up north, I think?” Kai says. “I swear I didn’t make it that hot.”

“The water was boiling, Kai!”

“You fish murderer,” Skylor says, the corners of her mouth trembling with the laugh she’s holding back. Kai glares at Zane, then her, then Zane again.

“I didn’t freeze them solid.”

“Whatever the cause of their death, they died, and we’re banned now,” Zane says, hastily. “End of story. Would you like to take this back to the Bounty, Skylor? I know the others have been wanting to see you, and we can at least offer you tea in thanks.” He eyes the grocery bags Kai’s still holding. “Unless, of course, you wish to return home…”

“Nah, tea sounds good,” she smiles. “Besides, I bought the snack cakes for you guys to try anyways. They’ve got little squashed ninja faces in icing on ‘em.”

“You’re the best,” Kai says, looking somewhat relieved, and oh, he definitely ate one while Skylor was in there. She’s going to have to pay him back for that one…

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she says airily, figuring she’ll take her revenge later. “You can tell me more about the fish massacre on our way back. By the way, Pixal wouldn’t happen to have heard this story, would she?”

Zane gives her a look, and she almost feels bad about it. “I’m going to regret inviting you, aren’t I.”

“Maybe,” she grins. “Jury’s still out.”

3. An Entire Drugstore Chain

Wednesdays are always busy at the noodle shop, for reasons Skylor has yet to figure out. Fridays she understands, but the middle of the week? Nothing kills your drive like knowing you’re going to do this all over again in a day.

It’s good money for the shop though, she reminds herself as she locks up that evening. Any money is good money for the shop, because her stupid dad made sure she’d have a real hole to dig herself out of there, but Wednesday money is always especially good. Even if she ends up leaving the shop late and can’t get the noodle smell from her hair for the next three days.

Normally, she’d trudge home and crash into bed after these kind of shifts. But tonight is different, because she stayed long enough at the Bounty yesterday to get invited to game night, and once you’ve promised the ninja you’re going to bring snacks for Monopoly, you can’t just say no. Not unless you want Lloyd to shoot betrayed glares at you the rest of the month.

Besides, she’s promised Kai she’ll sneak out to the movies with him afterwards, and she can’t just go breaking that promise. Plus, she’s not heartless enough to deny Cole cake when he’s got the most spectacular black eye she’s seen all year bruising up around the left side of his face.

“Lucky hit,” Cole grumbles, after she’s been caught staring too long. She hasn’t wanted to ask him about it, since it seems a sensitive subject and he’s already taking the time to help her pick up (carry) all the snacks. But it’s impossible to miss, even in the dim streetlights they’re walking under, and Skylor cares about her friends, thank you very much. “We busted some drug dealers today, and I got too relaxed.”

“They normally really aren’t any match for you, to be fair,” Skylor offers.

“They weren’t this time either, that’s the sad thing,” Cole says, scrubbing a hand through his thick hair as they wait at the stoplight. “This was all on me. I kinda deserved it.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Skylor tries to console him, even though the ugly red at the edge of his eye says otherwise.

Cole gives her a bleak look. “Jay made a joke, and I laughed at it. And then I got hit across the face with a baseball bat, mid-laugh.”

“Ouch,” Skylor hisses through her teeth. “Never mind, that’s bad. Was it a good joke, at least?”

“No, that’s the thing,” Cole groans, as the light finally turns red, allowing them to cross the street. “It was terrible. And I still laughed hard enough not to notice a bat coming for my face.”

Skylor grimaces. “You were just being a good friend, I guess,” she says, and Cole snorts. “Like you are to me, right now,” she continues, glancing ruefully at the shopping list she’s been sent. “I was going to say I had it handled, then I actually looked at everything you guys asked for.”

Cole laughs sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s…that’s us, I guess. Sorry about that. We’re paying for it all, don’t worry.”

“What?” Skylor blinks. Oh no, no way. The ninja have done enough for her, the least she can do is cover a couple bags of popcorn and like ten things of M&M’s. “No, I got it. I owe you guys, anyways.”

Cole bristles. “No way. We owe you, if anything. The amount of times you’ve covered our tab at the noodle shop?”

“How about the amount of times you’ve saved my noodle shop?” Skylor shoots back. “That outweighs a few measly tabs.”

“The only reason we had to save it was because we were there in the first place,” Cole points out. “We’re danger magnets.”

“I’m sorry, I’m the daughter of Chen, remember?” Skylor huffs. “I can attract enemies all by myself.”

“Not as many as we do,” Cole says. “Also! You helped us beat Chen, and get Zane back. We’re eternally indebted to you.”

Skylor narrows her eyes. “Only after I stabbed you all in the back. So I eternally owe you.”

“Bold of you to assume we haven’t all stabbed each other in the back at some point,” Cole scoffs. “Trust me, you’re nowhere as bad as Lloyd — he like, single-handedly ruined our whole month by letting a bunch of snakes out.”

Skylor pauses at that, torn between refuting his argument and asking how in the world Lloyd, of all people, could possibly manage to wreak enough havoc to—

Actually, she doesn’t have any trouble believing that at all. But to be sure— “Lloyd let the Serpentine out? All by himself?”

Cole looses a bit of his fire, and scuffs his shoe awkwardly across the sidewalk. “I mean, we did give him a pretty hard time when he was like, eight years old and homeless and starving, so uh, it might’ve been a little...provoked.”

“FSM’s sake,” Skylor mutters, staring at the sky and trying not to be surprised, because she really shouldn’t by now. “I can’t believe you guys are all still alive.”

“Neither can we, if it helps,” Cole shrugs, grinning. “But you know, technically—”

“If you make another ghost joke, we’re skipping the cake section,” Skylor says, firmly.

Cole sulks. “Jay would’ve made a ghost joke,” he mutters.

“Jay also got you hit in the face by a bat, so his judgement is questionable as it is,” Skylor shakes her head. “Oh! There’s a drugstore right here, wanna hit that instead?”

“Sure,” Cole says. “As long as it’s not…oh.”

Skylor makes it another three steps before she realizes that Cole’s fallen behind. Confused, she turns to stare at him where he’s frozen on the sidewalk, looking up at the bright red drugstore sign and biting his lip.

“Everything okay back there?” Skylor says, wondering if he didn’t get hit in the head harder than he’s let on. Cole nods, but he also takes several steps back out of the streetlight, hiding himself from view of the store.

“Here’s an idea,” he says, suddenly. “How about we go anywhere else.”

Skylor stares at him, a sinking feeling in her chest coupled with the slowly-growing-familiar sense of déjà-vu. “Cole.” He doesn’t meet her eyes, and Skylor sighs. “Please tell me you haven’t been banned from somewhere, too.”

“It’s not just me, Lloyd and Jay also got banned,” Cole snaps, before realizing his mistake and ducking his head.

“You’re kidding me,” Skylor says flatly, looking back at the drugstore, then to Cole. “This is like, the shadiest drugstore on this side on Ninjago. How?”

Cole mumbles something under his breath, and Skylor strains to make it out. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I kind of, um, threw Lloyd through their wall,” Cole mutters again, looking as if he’d like very much to disappear entirely into the street side. Which is funny, because—

His sentence finally registers, and Skylor blinks rapidly. “Wait, you what?”

Cole’s eyes widen, and waves his arms quickly. “Not like — not like Garmadon-throwing him through a wall! He was fine after.”

Skylor has a brief, bizarre kind of moment to digest the fact that there is a distinction for throwing the youngest of their team through a wall, before Cole continues.

“I was aiming for the window — that one right there, see? The robbers were already on the move, so Lloyd was like ‘launch me, Cole’ and I said ‘great idea’, but we were also maybe high on adrenaline at the time and I forgot how much of my lava punch I had going, so I overshot and ended up smashing him through their wall, a little bit.”

“You smashed him through their wall. Just a little bit.”

“Hey, it worked. He took out all five guys in one go and only had a tiny concussion after—”

“How do you even have a tiny concussion—”

“I still don’t get why they were so mad, I mean we stopped the robbery! Sure, half their storefront wall sort of collapsed afterwards, but like, we got their money back.”

“So that’s why they were closed six months for renovations,” Skylor groans into her hands.

Cole crosses his arms, glaring stubbornly at the store’s sign. “It wasn’t six months,” he protests. “It was only like, four. I don’t see how that gives them the right to ban us for life.”

“For life—” Skylor can’t decide if she wants to laugh at him, or cry because her list of places she can hang out with the ninja is shrinking faster than she’d thought possible. She finally blows her breath out, rubs a hand across her face, and glances back down at the shopping list.

“You aren’t banned from the one on eighth street, are you?”

Cole bites his lips. “We’re uh, banned from all of them. It’s a chain store, so…”

“Of course,” Skylor sighs. “Walmart it is, then.”

And if anyone pesters them about being late, she’s going to ask how many times, exactly, somebody’s smashed Lloyd through a wall. Because really. This is getting ridiculous.

4. Bed Bath & Beyond

Thursday is normally her day off, but whatever she had for dinner last night gave her freaky dreams, so Skylor ends up puttering around the shop early that morning just to take her mind off it. It’s a bit overcast outside, and the forecast predicts rain, so Skylor’s already making plans to curl up in her bed and watch movies all day, and maybe get a bit of laundry done.

She should know better.

It’s a commonly known fact that the ninja, Kai especially, would do pretty much anything for their pseudo-little brother. Skylor’s actually heard Kai, on multiple occasion, threaten to die for Lloyd, then immediately try and make it reality. No one ever really appreciates that, Lloyd especially, but Skylor can give him credit for trying.

However, it’s a commonly overlooked fact that Lloyd would do anything for his pseudo-older siblings. It’s an even more commonly overlooked fact that Lloyd is the spawn of satan, and was raised at a boarding school for future villains and terrible children. Combined, these two facts mean that while you should definitely fear Lloyd trying to die for you, you should probably fear him trying to look out for you more, because it’s likely going to end with somebody dead. Or at least the total disruption of your plans for the day, as Skylor opens the shop windows to come face with an absolutely terrifying expression on Lloyd’s face, followed up by a deadly calm “Kai came home sad last night.”

Skylor scrubs at her eyes, and thinks, it’s too early for this.

A while back, when she was still stuck with her jerk of a father, Skylor might have found Lloyd’s part-Oni expression of doom intimidating. Now, however, she just rolls her eyes, and sticks one of the little ‘50% Off!’ stickers she’s been putting on rice cakes across his forehead.

“The dog died in the last movie we saw last night,” she explains, as Lloyd sputters at her.

He pauses, nose wrinkling. “Oh,” he says. “Boo.”

“Yeah,” she says, stepping back and allowing him to neatly front-flip through her window. Darned show-off kid, she thinks despairingly, watching him land perfectly on her freshly-waxed floors.

“Well, you’re good then, I guess,” he says, expression lightening. “That makes sense. How many movies did you make it into this time, by the way?”

“Only four this time,” Skylor sighs, turning to plaster the rest of her stickers on the nearly-expired rice cake packages. “We caught the beginning of that new superhero movie, then the opening fight of some spy movie, and the middle of that one horror movie with the dolls.” Lloyd shudders. “Yeah, Kai wasn’t a fan either. Anyways, we made it into this new romance one, but we ran into a theater employee on the way in and Kai had a guilt attack, so we stayed until the end of that one.”

Lloyd tsks. “Oh, Kai. And he’s so sold on his bad boy image.”

“One day he’ll embrace the fact that he’s just a big softie,” Skylor nods. “One of these days.”

“Yeah, when hell freezes over,” Lloyd snorts. He glances around at the empty shop, then back at her. “Hey, today’s your day off, right?”

Skylor gets a sinking kind of feeling in her stomach at that, alarm bells going off in the back of her head. “It might be,” she says, warily.

“Good,” Lloyd grins. “You should come to Bed Bath and Beyond with us, then.”

Well, she wasn’t expecting that. “Why…would you be going there?” she asks, blankly. Do they have a secret ninja weapon bargain bin she’s been missing out on? Is Bed Bath & Beyond secretly hosting an illegal crime ring she’s been unaware of? Does she need to return the shower curtain rings she bought there last week on basis of being a good citizen?

“Zane froze the blender solid before practice this morning,” Lloyd explains, his mouth twisting a bit. “We were making smoothies and someone accidentally brought up the Never Realm.”

“Ouch,” Skylor winces sympathetically. She’s still not heard the entire story of what went down during the ninja’s jaunt out of realm, besides a whole lot of panicked texts from Pixal and half-explanations from Kai, but she knows it wasn’t fun, especially for poor Zane.

“Yeah,” Lloyd sighs. “So now our blender is dead and we can’t make smoothies anymore, so we’re buying a new one before Nya can start strangling people. Wanna come?”

Skylor eyes him shrewdly. At face, it’s an innocent enough request. She’s certainly been invited to worse places than a household furnishings store, and picking up a blender is quite possibly the simplest thing the ninja have ever asked her to do. Which probably just means it’s going to go horribly and the store’s going to blow up ten minutes in, but hey, Skylor’s day was looking pretty boring anyway.

“Sure, why not,” she shrugs. “Lemme stick the last of these on, and I’m in. Just — hey, no, I’m selling those!”

Lloyd freezes in place, the rice cake package dangling from his fingers. He gives her the most pathetically sad-eyed look she’s ever seen, and not for the first time, Skylor finds herself wondering how this is the same kid who runs a highly-skilled ninja team of unimaginable power.

“Just the one,” she finally relents, because Skylor is a spineless weakling when it comes to puppy eyes, apparently. Lloyd beams, snatching the cakes up happily. “And just because you look like a starving vagrant again.”

“I do not,” Lloyd protests, through a muffled mouthful of rice cake. “I’m just super in shape. I’m jacked as heck.”

Skylor rolls her eyes. “Sure you are, you — hey, I said just one!”

***********************

So Skylor ends up at Bed Bath & Beyond on her day off, five minutes after the store’s opened for the day, and already wishing she’d slept in later.

Nya brings her coffee, though, and their bright-eyed enthusiasm at reclaiming their means of smoothie-making is infectious, so Skylor finds herself in high spirits as they walk through the store doors, almost to the point where she lets Lloyd go for stealing all her rice cakes.

However, she’s already let him get away with too much as it is, so Skylor decides to take her revenge by ruffling Lloyd’s hair, before informing the sales lady that it’s her “darling little brother’s thirteenth birthday, and he’s finally outgrown his kiddie bed, could you point us to the big kid ones, please?”

Lloyd’s attempts at strangling her are thwarted by Nya as the lady smiles airily, before pointing them to the back, and Zane has to drag Kai along with them before he suffocates on the laughter he’s choking back.

“Family shopping trips are always so much fun,” Jay remarks, as they browse the bedding section, having been successfully distracted by the animal-shaped pillows. They’ve already had to flee the lamp section, after Lloyd and Jay started having a little too much fun, despite Kai’s despair over being robbed yet again of a new lava lamp.

“One day,” he mourns. “One day, I will own another.”

Skylor pats his back consolingly. “I’m sure that’s what everyone else whose lava lamps got smashed by a giant stone colossi say.”

“I still don’t see why we can’t invest in a cappuccino maker,” Nya pouts, as they pass the coffee appliances section. “Look, there’s one on sale, too!”

“Because you can and will abuse the use of it, and then someone will end up going to the hospital for extreme heart rate elevation,” Zane glares pointedly at her. Skylor smothers a laugh as Nya scowls.

“I’m not that bad,” she grumbles under her breath, only for the others to all chime “ice cube incident” in unison. Nya goes a dark shade of red and glares at the floor as if she’s capable of lighting it on on fire with her eyes, but she doesn’t argue back.

Skylor doesn’t even want to know.

“Alright, here are our options,” Cole announces, when they’ve finally fought their way to the blender shelves. “We can get the same one we had, just a little smaller, or we can get this other one that’s half-off.” He squints at both tags. “Having looked at our bank account recently, I vote the half-off one.”

“No way,” Jay argues. “Do you see how small that one is? I can’t make my triple-espresso energy-drink smoothie with that!”

Lloyd stares at him in concern. “That’s…probably a good thing?”

Jay glares at him. “You’re one to talk, Mr. night owl.”

“I’m with Jay, that one’s way too small,” Nya says. “It won’t do.”

“What, and the other one’s better?” Kai shoots back. “Look how cheap it is, I could break this thing in my sleep.”

“The online reviews for both are perfectly fine,” Zane adds, half-heartedly, as if he already knows they’re all going to ignore that particular statement.

“What about this one?” Jay says, his eyes lighting up as he gestures to the extra-large, fancy blender. “Think of all the smoothies we could make, Cole. Think of the milkshakes.”

Cole pinches the bridge of his nose. “We are not investing in some fancy blender, just for you to complain it’s too complicated five seconds in.”

Skylor crosses over to the blenders, glancing at both. “I mean, you could always just return it…later…” She trails off, realizing that everyone’s suddenly gone deadly silent. She looks up, and starts as she comes face to face with the store manager, who is frozen in place, his mouth half-open as he stares at them with wide eyes. Behind her, Skylor is highly aware of six ninja going similarly still, all utterly quiet.

“You,” the manager finally squeaks out. “You are’t supposed to — you can’t be in here, not again—”

“On second thought, let’s get a blender next week,” Cole says, quickly.

“Yeah, I can live without smoothies a little longer,” Jay agrees, rapidly paling.

Skylor’s at a loss. “What’s going—”

Before she can finish that sentence, Kai and Nya both have hands on her arm and pull, hauling her along as they break into a dead sprint for the exit.

“Explain later!” Kai yelps, dodging employees as the manager shakes his fist at them, his yelling following them through the doors.

“I filed six restraining orders! Six!” he shrieks as they slip out. “Do you know how long that took?! Two of them don’t even exist in the legal system!”

Skylor doesn’t miss the incredibly unsubtle fist bump Lloyd and Zane share, nor the near-tears sigh of despair from Cole.

She really, really doesn’t want to know.

***********************

Except that maybe she does, so there’s nothing stopping her from asking as they walk home, having bought smoothies from the corner store instead (that they are not banned from, which Skylor is starting to think might be miraculous).

“I don’t know why I’m surprised at this point, but how did you get banned this time?” she asks them, after a particularly long sip of smoothie. “Did you demolish half the store there, too?”

The ninja are silent for a moment, all refusing to meet her eyes. Then—

“It was Jay’s fault,” Cole declares.

Jay whirls on him, his expression wounded. “I trusted you,” he whines. “And you — you bed bath and betrayed me.”

“Because you bed bath and blew up the bedding aisle!”

“It was the kitchen electrics aisle, give me some credit.”

“Oh, because that’s so much better.”

“It is, do you know how hard I’d have to be trying to blow up the bedding aisle? It’s all weighted blankets and like, silk and stuff, no conduction at all—”

Skylor returns to her previous stance on not wanting to know, sips her smoothie in silence as they break into loud arguing in the middle of the street, and hopes once again that no one’s getting any pictures of this.

5. Jamanakai Village Candy Shop

Friday’s her busy day, so Skylor’s spared any chaos other than a jammed mixing machine for the day. It doesn’t come to a head until Saturday, when she cautiously accepts the ninjas' invitation to scout out potential terrorist activity in Jamanakai.

The terrorists turn out to be punk kids who got a little too obsessed with the idea of the Golden Master, which is an unfortunate choice of role model for them, when they have to face up to the ninja. Zane just looks mildly annoyed though, and Lloyd stares into the sun for a full minute before rolling his eyes, so the kids make it out alive.

“We weren’t going to kill them, geez,” Jay says. “Maybe just…lecture them, a bit.”

“Oh yeah, lecture them,” Kai scowls, cracking his knuckles. “The Golden Master, are they kidding?”

“To be fair, they don’t have the same experiences we do,” Cole points out, but he doesn’t look too opposed to the knuckle-cracking, either.

“No harm was done,” Zane says, a bit wearily. “We should simply let it go."

“I dunno, I say we should’ve hung them from a roof for a bit,” Lloyd says, evenly.

The other ninja all cringe in unison, except for Nya, who smothers a coughing sort of laugh. Skylor stares at them, bewildered. “Why would you hang them from a roof?”

“Not sure,” Lloyd says, his lips twitching. “Probably because crime doesn’t pay, muchacho, or something like that—”

“Alright, alright, we get it,” Kai says hastily, clapping a hand over Lloyd’s mouth.

“The guys would know,” Nya smirks, ignoring the looks of utter betrayal she’s getting. “That’s what they did to Lloyd, wasn’t it?”

“Nya, why,” Jay moans into his hands.

“You — hung Lloyd from a roof?” Skylor repeats, thrown for a loop. “Why on earth would you do that? What if he like, fell and died?”

“He was fine,” Cole assures her, hastily.

Lloyd is quick to protest, glaring at them. “No I wasn’t, it was literally scarring! Look, I got this scar from scraping my arm when I fell — oh, wait, oops, that one’s from the Never Realm, it’s this one here.” Lloyd winces as he finishes, suddenly looking contrite as he shoots Zane an apologetic look. “The Never Realm one was from Boreal though, don’t worry.”

Zane looks down, his face shadowed. “It was still my—”

“Nuh-uh,” Jay cuts over him, wagging his finger. “Remember the rule?”

Zane hesitates, looking as if he’d very much like to remember no such thing, but he finally slumps, relenting. “Scars dealt to each other while under the influence of malicious possession by person and/or ancient malevolent artifacts do not count, regardless of extenuating circumstances or deep inner psychological issues that may be brought to light during said influence,” he quotes dully, on a defeated sort of sigh.

Skylor doesn’t know whether to be impressed at that, or depressed that it needed existence in the first place.

“Exactly,” Jay nods. “Which means that any scars from you, Zane, or Lloyd — oh, and Kai, I guess — and Cole, technically, with the Hypnobrai that one time— wow, that’s, hm, that’s a lot of us.”

“If you count the dark matter, we’ve all been possessed,” Zane says, drily.

“Not me!” Kai says, mock-cheerfully.

Jay shakes his head. “Nobody got scars while we were on dark matter! I checked.”

“Why are you saying it like we were on drugs or something?”

“Speak for yourself,” Lloyd scowls. “I’ve still got that stupid ankle one.” He glares at the offending ankle, as if it’s personally disappointed him.

“That was the Overlord, not us,” Nya reminds him. “And uh, your dad, technically.”

Lloyd’s scowl just deepens, his eyebrows tilting downwards hotly. “If I had a dollar for every scar that’s from my dad…”

“I hear you,” Skylor sighs. “Dad scars are the worst. They really know where to hit.”

“Right? It’s always personal with them,” Lloyd shakes his head. “Dads are the worst.”

A beat passes before they both realize the others have fallen quiet. Her and Lloyd blink, and Skylor fights back the urge to cringe at the looks they’re now receiving.

“Well,” Jay says, bleakly. “This is a, um, miserable turn.”

“Hey, hey, no sad faces,” Lloyd scolds, reaching for Kai’s face, which is indeed sporting a pathetically teary-eyed kind of look. “Get that look off your face, off, off—”

“I’m not — stoppit — I’m just— hey, stop it— that’s my face, you brat—”

“Guys, c’mon, cut it out, you’re making a scene,” Cole scolds, pulling them both apart. “How about we stop and get ice cream before we go, okay? To like, cheer us up. Because that was completely depressing, no offense, guys.”

“None taken,” Skylor says, as Lloyd nods in agreement. Cole looks relieved, even if Kai’s still looking a little weepy, and he directs them down another street, heading toward a brightly labeled ice cream shop. Skylor can see tiny rows of candy inside, and there are a bunch of kids gathered around the little stand the owner’s set up at the door. It’s a cute place, all in all — the candy looks good, and it seems pretty cheap.

So it makes zero sense that Lloyd, of all people, would suddenly go painfully tense in the middle of the street, and refuse to take another step forward.

“I can’t go in there,” he whispers.

Skylor’s having that sense of déjà vu again. The rest of the ninja trade confused glances.

“Uh, Lloyd?” Kai says, hesitantly. “They sell candy in there, you know.”

“I know,” Lloyd grinds out, his teeth clenched painfully together. “I’ve been in there before.”

“You have?” Cole frowns. “You — oh.” Realization dawns in his eyes, and he’s suddenly biting his lip, holding back laughter. “Oh, I forgot.”

“Forgot wha—” Jay looks between the two of them, then back at the shop, before something sparks in his eyes as well, and he doubles over in laughter.

“Shut up,” Lloyd hisses.

“Why are we laughing at Lloyd,” Skylor finally sighs, as Kai and Zane break into barely-stifled giggles as well, and Nya rolls her eyes.

“So, um,” Lloyd swallows, shifting anxiously from side to side. “You know how I said they hung me from a roof? There might’ve, uh, been a reason for that.”

“Of course there was,” Skylor says.

“I kind of threatened them, a little bit, and uh, tried to steal half their shop, one time.”

“Of course you did.”

“Lloyd,” Nya sighs. “That was forever ago.”

“I stole from them,” Lloyd bites out. “If I show my face in there again, they’ll kill me."

“I highly doubt they will resort to murder, Lloyd,” Zane says, flatly. “Besides, you did not actually succeed in stealing anything, because we caught you and hung you from a roof. Remember?”

“Yeah, and then I came back with the Serpentine, and made it worse!” Lloyd exclaims. “Just go in without me, I’ll sit out here and cry.”

“We’re not just gonna leave you outside,” Kai rolls his eyes. “C’mon, let’s mend some old wounds. Just go inside and apologize.”

“I would literally rather die.”

“Lloyd, seriously.”

“I’ve done it before, don’t test me.”

“Lloyd.”

“You can’t make me, I’ll fight you—”

“Alright, alright, we’ll find a different shop!”

***********************

“Okay, I have to know,” Skylor finally asks, as they pass the outskirts of the village, heading back to the Bounty. “How many places are you all banned from, in total? Because this is ridiculous. I can’t take you anywhere.”

“I mean, you can’t take us anywhere even without the bans, anyways,” Cole says wearily. “To be fair.”

“We’re not that bad,” Lloyd protests, only to wilt immediately under Skylor’s stare. “There are just…a few places…”

“Zane, how many is it now,” Nya asks, rubbing her temples.

Zane is quiet for a moment, slowly ticking off his fingers as he stares upwards. “Did we ever decide if that one museum counted?”

“The vote was yes,” Jay mutters.

“And the Explorer’s Club, did we decide that one?”

“I’d say that’s a pretty hard ban,” Lloyd winces.

Nya huffs, crossing her arms. “I still say it doesn’t count, because like, everyone’s banned from there, with their stupid stuck-up membership requirements.”

Zane takes this into account, his eyebrows furrowing. “That leaves us with…seventeen places we cannot return to, I believe? Unless I missed one.”

Skylor’s left wordless, gaping at them. She knew there was a lot, but seventeen—?!

“I’m almost a hundred percent sure we’re also banned from the Never Realm,” Kai points out. Zane gives him the iciest look Skylor’s ever seen. Kai simply shrugs. “What? Just stating the facts.”

Lloyd frowns. “I don’t think we are? I mean, Akita wouldn’t—”

“Oh, Akita wouldn’t,” Jay cuts over him, a gleam in his eyes. “Would she, casanova?”

Lloyd goes scarlet, sputtering. “I told you, she kissed me! On the cheek! I just stood there, you can’t—” He buries his face in his hands, and despite her amusement (and rampant curiosity, because this is Lloyd and kissing), Skylor feels bad for him. “I can’t believe I ever told any of you about that,” he whines, sounding tragically upset with himself.

“You were the one having a mental breakdown over it,” Nya reminds him, almost gently. “You need to work on setting boundaries, bud.”

“It’s not like I didn’t tell her I had horrible issues with romance!” Lloyd throws his hands up, frustrated. “Because I did, in painfully honest detail—”

“And yet you refuse to open up to me about it,” Kai says plaintively.

“Turn into a dog for a bit, you might get lucky,” Lloyd grumbles.

Skylor doesn’t want to know. She really, really doesn’t want to know. “Well,” she finally says. “I do know one place you aren’t banned from.”

They all look up at her, and Skylor shakes her head. “You fly me back to the shop in time for dinner, and noodles are on the house tonight.”

Six faces brighten considerably. “Seriously?” Cole says. “Skylor, you’re an angel.”

“Seriously, the best person ever—”

“Our favorite cryptid orange ninja there ever was—”

“Yeah, yeah, keep flattering me,” Skylor sighs, trying not to smile, and failing woefully.

She doesn’t know why she still hangs out with these people, getting banned from everywhere in the city. What a bunch of nerds.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #nya smith #jay walker #cole brookstone #zane julien #skylor chen #i really have no explanation for this at all #except that i wanted to give skylor more love than i've given her #my fic

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

Text

i wanna know what love is - 18

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: sexual themes

A/N: fun fact i’ve been watching mad men all the time and normally it’s playing on the background when i’m writing so mary sometimes acts up like joan holloway. also the dress Y/N is wearing is Scarlet’s silver dress from the endgame premiere (dream dress). i have some playlists for seb and y/n on spotify if any of you wanna see them lemme know xx 💕💕

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

- I’m sorry. Can you run that by me, again? - she wondered if she had taken too many pain killers and was now hallucinating. There was only a single explanation, hallucination. She was hallucinating. She either was hallucinating or he was about to overdose again.

- I like you, I wanna take you out for a date. - Sebastian didn’t know why he was shaking. He was thirty years old, he had already asked girls out a couple times, maybe more times than she had gone out on dates. Yet here he was, shaking as the idea of her saying no, or closing the door in front of him.

- We’re getting on a bus tomorrow. Unless you plan on taking me on a date from my bedroom to the kitchen. - she wondered why whenever she was nervous she only decided to be sarcastic but her mind figured this was the best thing to do.

- That’s why we’re going on a date tonight. - he had to tell himself not to stutter at the idea of going out with her. They had hanged out together outside the band setting but a date was a date. If Melody was right and she had dated a Vanderbilt she probably had gone to the Ritz for a date. - I mean you don’t have to.

- I’d love to.

- Alright, I’ll meet you in an hour by the lobby. - he said, rushing out of her bedroom to figure out if he had anything he could wear that didn’t look like he was about to enter a bike gang. Meanwhile, Y/N rushed out of her bedroom and into Mary’s room, barging in and coming face to face with the couple making out. Romance is never dead with these two. The red head lifted her head from Fred’s neck giving Y/N a very dirty look.

- I’m going on a date tonight and I need your help. - Y/N said quite fast which made Mary immediately let go of Fred, jumping onto her feet like a gymnast. Fred groaned, her head falling on top of the pillow.

- Get out. - Mary told her husband who groaned again, grabbing his pillow and blanket and walking out of the bedroom straight to the living room. If those two end up together, Fred was gonna remind himself to cock block the heck out of them for this. - Wait, is he single? Are you becoming the other woman?

- No, he broke up with her. We’re going on a date right now and I don’t know what to wear for a date with him.

- Go naked. - she shrugged, making Y/N roll her eyes at her. She was stressing out, she had never been on a date with someone who wasn’t from her inner circle. Her first date had been in the country club with her parents watching from the pool and the last date she’d had was with her ex-boyfriend who took her to one of his fraternity party which was really a dinner for rich people who didn’t have a clue of the outside world. It wasn’t like Y/N could entertain Sebastian with facts about the economy, at least she thought she couldn’t. She’d read about rockstars thousand of times and had been with Sebastian alone another couple but this was a date. Do rockstars even go on dates? - You look nervous.

- I am. Should I take the Burberry dress? - she wondered, turning to the mirror and releasing her hair from her hair tie.

- No, he already saw you in the Burberry dress. You need to have the surprise element, a bit of a nice naughty cut. - Mary went over to her wardrobe, going through her huge collection of dresses. Fred normally used to gift her with clothing and she also had quite a few cocktail dresses due to her job’s nature of dinners with clients and senior lawyers. Her eyes sparkled as she saw a particular strapless silver dress with a slit on her dress and a see through back. It was one of her personal favourites and also the one she had nicknamed her “Lucky Dress”. She figured Y/N needed a confidence boost and a bit of luck. She grabbed it from the dresser and handed it to her. - Shoulders, thigh, back. The wonderful trifecta that will certainly get you a free drink and when used right a nice night of fun.

- Don’t you think it’s too much? - she wondered, placing the dress in front of her. - Maybe it’s a bit too much.

- Well, that’s what you’re taking. Now go put it on and listen to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” to get more confidence.

Y/N got into the bathroom they had in their bedroom and started to take off her clothes. As she was about to put it on she noticed a bottle of rose scented lotion, one of her favourites. She decided Mary wouldn’t notice if some was missing and put some on before getting into the dress and zipping it up. It fit like a glove and it looked like she was about to walk a red carpet. She walked back into the bedroom to see the redhead holding a curling iron and a makeup caboddle that looked eerily similar to one she used to have when she was younger.

- You’re more excited for a date than I am. - she sat by Mary’s vanity as she started to curl and pin curl her hair. - What do I even talk about?

- What do you guys normally talk about? - she questioned, bobby pin stuck in the middle of her lips as she tried her best to achieve the perfect curl. - It’s just a date, Y/N. Act like you alway do.

- What if he only liked me because he was with someone else?

- Alright, Y/N. Listen to me ... - she twirled the chair, making Y/N stare at her as she began applying makeup. - He liked you way before that so you have to start having some confidence.

- Do you reckon he’ll find interesting when I start rambling about the stock market? - Mary rolled her eyes as she finished putting some lipstick on her before turning her back to the mirror. Y/N was still nervous as she walked to the room to get her shoes and purse. She took a long look in the mirror, taking a deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. She could do this, it was just a date. Y/N breathed in and out again before opening the door to her bedroom and walking up to the lobby were a very well dressed Sebastian was standing.

He was wearing a pair of black denim trousers and white crisp buttoned up white shirt. She didn’t even think he had a pair of trousers that didn’t have rips on it but here it was and she was impressed. As for him he couldn’t help but stare at her, he knew the dress was Mary’s he’d heard Fred mention it quite a few times but he’d never imagined he’d see it on her. She looked breath taking beautiful.

- You’re stunning. - was the only thing he could say.

- Nice shirt. - she smiled as he opened the door for her leading her onto the lift.

- It’s the most varsity outfit I have. I don’t even think half this stuff is mine. - he laughed, looking down at himself. - I know Vegas isn’t the most romantic setting for a date but ...

- I’m with you, the setting is irrelevant. Besides, my first date was in a country club and my dad was watching it from the pool.

- Country club? Just how rich are you. - he asked as they walked into the restaurant. They got sat at one of the most private tables so photographers wouldn’t be all over them. He didn’t want bottom feeders putting her photo on the paper and blaming her writing opportunity by being with him.

- We’re comfortable. - she shrugged.

- That’s exactly what a super rich person would say. If you have the money, why do you live in a studio flat in NY? Should you be living in a mansion on the Upper East Side?

- It’s my parents money not mine. Besides, if you start at the top, you don’t get the thril of climbing up and having pasta with pasta for the twelfth time in the week.

- I miss that. - he smiled, taking a sip out of the red wine that had been recently poured in his glass. He wasn’t the biggest fan of wine but he also didn’t want to get drunk during his first date with her. - I used to live with the boys when he first started out.

- How did you discover you wanted to be a musician? - she was sure she’d asked him that before, but he had never given her an actual real reply.

- My dad used to have this guitar when I was younger, a Yamaha A Series A3M. He never really let me near it, I was a clumsy kid. Then my parents separated, my mum moved into the US. One day, I was walking down the street and I saw a very worn out sort of broken Yamaha A Series A3M on the window of his charity shop. Got a job down the road at a kebab shop until I could buy it, smelled like frying oil for a month. - he laughed. - But I got it and once I got to play it, I realised that was all I wanted to do.

- That’s so sweet. - Y/N gave him that type of smile that made the world stop in his eyes. - Do you still have it?

- No, I had to sell it when my mum lost her job but it was a great guitar. I miss it dearly. What about you, why are you doing writing?

- My family has been on the business for ages. My great grandad used to work for the New Yorker, I remember him showing me and my brother the article he framed in his office. He always had this sparkle in his eyes whenever he spoke of it. It just made me want to do something that gave me that same type of sparkle. It’s always been a dream of mine to have my article on the front page of the New Yorker, just like him.

- Why aren’t you writing for the New Yorker then? I’m sure they have an internship plan besides ... you’re very smart. You went to an Ivy league.

- You only get in the internship plan if you have contacts in the journal or if you’re sleeping with someone in the board. - she laughed. - Maybe one day.

- I’m sure you’re gonna get it. After all, you’re writing about yours truly. Nothing more exciting

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #bucky imagine

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queerbutstillhere · 4 years

Text

12. We dated back in highschool then you moved away but now you're back in town.

(for @legitpumpkin an AU in which the Kent's and Wayne's live in the same neighborhood of whatever town you'd like to pick.)

"Hey, did you hear the news?"

Jon looked up, eyebrows knitted together, his tongue was poking out of his mouth from his hyper concentration.

"What?" He asked absently, looking away from his brother back to his laptop, returning to reading his article.

Kon said something about Tim and someone coming back.

"Cool," Jon responded in that same absent tone.

"Jon, you literally did not hear a word I just said did you?"

Jon just shook his head, quickly deleting and rewriting a section.

"Leave him alone, Kon, he has deadlines to meet," Chris inputted from where he was laying on the sofa beside Jon, at an awkward angle so his feet weren't on the younger man.

"Fine. Pardon me for trying to tell him that his former lover is back in town."

"What?" Jon asked, interest mildly peaked now.

"Damian's back home for the summer."

The rapid click-clacking of Jon's keys completely stopped, and he blinked at Kon.

"And Tim says he's thinking about moving back to the States completely."

"Oh-" Jon breathed out.

"You should go talk to him," Chris suggested, pushing at his knee.

"Yeah.... God it's been what, five, six years?"

"Six. Five, since you guys broke up."

Jon hummed, returning to clicking away at his computer.

"Are you still in love with him?" Chris asked, looking at his phone.

"I don't know? It's been five years, Chris, I haven't seen him except maybe in passing once or twice. We don't really talk except occasionally commenting on each other's social media posts."

"Who?"

They all looked up when Lois walked in.

"Damian. He's back home," Kon supplied.

"Oh! Yes. Bruce just invited us over for dinner, actually."

"He what?" All three boys exclaimed at once.

"Yup! At six, which means you three need to be showered and wearing nice clothes!"

"Oh yes, how dare we show up to our childhood best friends house in our jorts and tanktops."

"Kon, we all know Dick would absolutely destroy you for wearing jorts," Chris said with a snort. "I'll go take first shower since busy body over here is still working."

"Look! Once I get this article turned in, I'm officially on break, but this is a pretty big story so I need to make sure it's perfect before I send it to the editors," Jon defended himself to empty air, as Kon and Chris had both already left.

He sighed and returned to typing.

An hour later, everyone was clean and dressed and they all took the short walk down the block to the Wayne's house together. The Wayne residence was the largest, and loudest building in the neighborhood. There were always people coming and going, and always children around, despite the fact that none of Bruce's kids had their own families yet. They could hear yelling inside before they even got to the front door, and Jon smiled at the fond memories that hit him. Clark stepped up and knocked on the door, and within a minute, the door was yanked open by Dick Grayson.

"Hey guys!" He exclaimed with a bright grin, immediately hugging Clark, and then Lois, and then all three of the boys.

"Hello, Dick."

"Come on in! Dad and Alfie are just finishing dinner, I think the others got kicked into the living room at some point, they were being too noisy."

"Aren't they always?" Jon asked with a smile, his writers mind already crafting out how he would report on this evening.

"Hey, now, Jonno," Dick said with a laugh, having to reach up to ruffle Jon's hair. "Man I miss when you were only this tall."

He held a hand down by his waist, shaking his head at the 6"2" man and tsking.

"Anyway! Come on!"

"I'm gonna pop into the kitchen," Lois said, and disappeared. Clark hesitated before following.

The boys just followed Dick deeper into the house where yelling and barking was coming from the family room. They entered and discovered Cassandra and Jason wrestling on the floor. Tim and Damian sat on the furniture, and Ace running around barking in dismay.

"Guys!" Dick protested, crossing his arms.

Cass let go of Jason, who rolled to his feet, sticking his tongue out at her. She immediately blew a raspberry before flipping up.

"Kon!" Tim exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and running to hug his friend.

Jon however, had made eye contact with Damian. And hot. Damn. Jon met Damian when he was 10. He had seen Damian grow up, had personally witnessed the awkward teen years where Damian had been growing into his own body and face. Hell he had dated Damian through the tail end of it. He knew Damian was an attractive person - look at his parents, it was the only logical thing to happen - but he had some how gotten hotter???

Damian would be around twenty-six by now, he was tall, maybe not as tall as Jon, but he couldn't quite be certain from this distance. His face was angular and defined, not quite the sharp features of his father, but more delicate and feminine like Talia. Everything about him screamed neatness, from his trimmed eyebrows, and clean shaven face, to his carefully styled hair and clothing. His hair was a different style the Jon last remembered seeing, shaved short on the sides and longer in the back, styled in a quiff. He was wearing black jeans and a button down, and Jon could see a gold necklace hanging around his throat. His beautiful, full lips curled into a soft smile as he scanned over Jon, before lazily pushing up to his feet. Oh yeah, Jon was definitely still taller.

"Hello, Jonathan," he said with a sweet smile, walking over.

His legs were still long and lanky, and he still walked with an insane amount of grace, a habit he had picked up from when he used to do ballet.

"Hi," Jon breathed out, finding himself completely awestruck.

Damian walked right up to him, hugging him gently. Jon immediately hugged him back, noting that he smelled like vanilla and citrus, but not in a bad way.

"It's good to see you," Damian said softly. His accent had thickened significantly in the past few years, and damn that was hot too.

"Yeah, oh my God, it's been forever." Jon pulled back to look at Damian again, his hand lingering on his arm.

Damian smiled up at him, his green eyes flicking over Jon's face. "Five years, really. Not forever."

"Okay, no, but it is a long time. Where all have you been at?" Jon asked, letting Damian push him out of the room where their siblings were talking loudly.

"I've been all over. Finished my schooling in Switzerland, and then spent sometime traveling around Europe. Then I've been in the Middle East with mother for the past few years. I enjoyed the traveling, but I think I'm ready to be back home."

"Wow. You'll have to tell me all about it!" Jon said, eyes wide with amazement.

Damian chuckled, nodding. "I'm sure we'll have time. You're a journalist now, no?"

"Yeah! Just hit my one year mark with the company I work for right now," Jon said with a proud grin.

"That's good, do you enjoy it?"

"Oh yeah, it always keeps me on my toes. I very rarely get bored with it."

"Okay! Dinner is ready!"

Jon jolted with the suddenness of Bruce's yell. Damian chuckled, looking past Jon at Bruce who was waving them over.

Dinner was nice and loud and noisy and Jon was hit with this painful realization of "Holy Shit Maybe I Am Still In Love With Damian" and he desperately needed to tell his brothers this development, but he didn't know how to do it slyly. So he just sat there in gay turmoil for a whole hour of a dinner. Then, while the others were heading to the living room, Damian snagged his hand and pulled him to the front door, clipping a leash on Ace and then walking outside. Jon followed silently, curious what was going on.

"Do you remember when we used to just go on walks around the neighborhood?"

"I remember sneaking over to your house a couple times in the middle of the night just to go on those walks," Jon answered, watching Ace sniff a bush. "And I remember getting my ass whooped the week my mom found out."

"And yet you kept doing it all through highschool," Damian said with an amused glance towards him.

"What do you expect. I was young, dumb and in love."

Damian chuckled, glancing down the road before crossing it.

"So, fill me in on what you've been up too since I left for Switzerland."

"Oh. Nothing wild, finished college, got my major in journalism, and minor in psychology. Got my job the same month as graduation, moved out in August, and I've just kinda been focusing on work since."

Damian hummed. "You always have been a bit of a busybody."

"Hey!"

Damian just grinned and gently nudged Jon.

"So, shall I just ask the awkward question?"

"What awkward question."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh!" Jon felt his cheeks heat up and then he shrugged. "No, not right now. I dated a few guys in college, but not anyone for a while."

Damian hummed and nodded.

"Uh. What about you?"

"No. With all the traveling, and living in the Middle East..."

Jon nodded in understanding, pausing as Ace darted in front of him. Without thinking he took the leash from Damian and let Ace smell the along the other side of the sidewalk.

"So what are you going to be doing, now that you're back? Working for your dad?"

"No, probably not. I'm going to resume my modeling career, and I'll be working as a environmental ambassador, just little things like that."

"Oh, cool."

Damian hummed, putting his hands in his pockets. They crossed the street and started to head back home.

"So we're totally gonna start hanging out then, right?"

"Well of course, you're one of my best friends," Damian said with a smile.

"Even though I'm your ex?"

"Jon, dating you was some of the best years of my life."

"Oh," Jon said softly, feeling his face heat up.

Damian chuckled and shook his head, smiling at Jon fondly.

Oh yeah, Jon still had feelings for Damian.

Send me a prompt!

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aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

Best Meryl Streep Musical Performances (Including The Prom!)

https://ift.tt/2JMbiJl

Who would have thought 30 years ago Meryl Streep would become the musical diva of our age? Maybe those who watched her bashfully (and beautifully) sing “You Don’t Know Me” in 1990’s Postcards from the Edge. But largely she was associated with the serious dramas of the ‘70s and ‘80s that won her two Oscars (and saw her nominated for three more) by the time she was 35: Kramer vs. Kramer, The Deer Hunter, Sophie’s Choice. Sober-eyed tearjerkers all.

But an amazing thing happened in the 21st century, didn’t it? Streep, the First Lady of the Academy Awards stage, reinvented herself as the prima donna of the musical-comedy. Sometimes that includes performances so rich that they sing even without any lyrics, such as the imperious Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. But often they come with music and verse too, be it ham-fisted kitsch like Mamma Mia! or something as ambitious as playing the Witch in an adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods.

And today she’s back on the musical big screen—or at least the one in your living room—via Ryan Murphy and Netflix’s The Prom. It’s an all-out musical extravaganza where Streep transcends into her best self: a reigning diva of Broadway. So join us as we use the occasion to count down her greatest cinematic solos.

10. “Changing Lives” in The Prom

For whatever faults The Prom might contain, the Netflix film’s vicious satire of celebrity vanity and performative social action is not one of them. And rarely is that better felt than in Meryl and James Corden’s first big number “Changing Lives.” As a pair of tone-deaf Narcissuses, Streep’s Dee Dee Allen and Corden’s Barry Glickman put on a hell of a show, singing from the lights of 44th St. to the glitzy interiors of Sardis about how being a Broadway star is basically the same thing as Eleanor and Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Is it a great song? Not necessarily. Is it great to hear Streep exclaim she only wants to hear a review if it’s a rave or mixed-to-positive while downing champagne? Absolutely.

9. “Super Trouper” in Mamma Mia!

We know everyone has thoughts about Mammia Mia! and where its qualities (or sometimes lack thereof) lie. But Meryl Streep’s performance as Donna is inarguably one of its great strengths. Her matriarch of an idyllic little Greek island seems a far cry from the apparent free spirit and hellraiser she once was. Yet in “Super Trouper,” her young daughter (Amanda Seyfried) gets a glimpse of the dynamo Donna once was (and secretly still is) as she takes the disco stage alongside Julie Walters and Christine Baranski.

The trio still make the ‘70s excess of their outfits work, crooning about last nights in Glasgow and reawakening that magic for the next generation. Even Donna’s tuneless exes in the back get swept back in time. It’s sweet, and one of several Mamma Mia numbers to appear here.

8. “Goodbye to My Mama” in A Prairie Home Companion

One of the best films mentioned on this list, A Prairie Home Companion was director Robert Altman’s final film—and the movie appears aware of this. Nowhere is that more tangible in this heart-wringing ballad written in the tradition of early 20th century Country and Western music by Garrison Keillor. An ode to a childhood long gone, and both an aspiration and understated fear about seeing a lost mother again on the other side, the song is an elegy realized in soulful duet by Streep and Lily Tomlin. It harkens the Angel of Death backstage, but in isolation it’s still plenty heartbreaking.

7. “The Winner Takes It All” in Mamma Mia!

We said there’d be more ABBA. And here it is with “The Winner Takes It All,” Streep’s single actual solo. In this moment director Phyllida Lloyd knows exactly where to put the camera, capturing the postcard beauty of a Greek isle at sunset as Meryl sings her heart out, and smashes Pierce Brosnan’s for good measure. Appealingly melodramatic, and with perfect high notes for Streep’s range, the scene puts this Oscar winner in the movie equivalent of a romance novel cover. And who doesn’t want to open that?!

6. “It’s Not About Me” in The Prom

Again rarely does The Prom’s satire land better than in its opening number… but Streep’s big solo “It’s Not About Me” is that rare exception. Strutting into an Indiana PTA meeting in a red mink and extravagant mood, Streep’s Dee Dee introduces herself by belting that she’s here after reading three quarters of an article to ask, “You bigoted monsters, just who do you think you are?” And it’s all downhill from there for her argument, and uphill for our entertainment.

Hijacking a vulnerable teenager’s platform to whine about a New York Post notice and to demand soft lighting and a rainbow coalition of colorful streamers for her Insta-ready moment, Streep is given permission by The Prom to make everything about her. More, please.

5. “Stay with Me” in Into the Woods

Attempting to sing Sondheim is a challenge few take up lightly. With his typically complex lyrics, myriad key changes, and sharp musical bridges, Sondheim has thwarted many a movie star who’s tried. Streep is not one of them. As the villainous and somewhat misunderstood Witch of Into the Woods, Streep dominates the film as an antagonistic force who sees all the other fairy tale archetypes for the schmucks they are.

But that does not include her adopted daughter Rapunzel (Mackenzie Mauzy). As the daughter the Witch never had, Rapunzel is kept secluded away in the woods, but it’s for her own protection. Written years before Tangled, a mother’s fanged psychological warfare and pleas to “stay with me” from the danger in the world is as haunting as it is toxic. And it’s Streep’s best moment in Disney and Rob Marshall’s ambitious, yet bloated, movie adaptation.

4. “Dancing Queen” in Mamma Mia!

Yes, it’s that song and that scene: ABBA’s most overplayed earworm brought to treacly life with maximum cheese, including slow-motion shots of Meryl Streep jumping on a bed and skipping along a Greek coastline. Look over there! Why is that old fisherman playing a piano in the water?! And over here! Where did the hundreds of locals on this tiny, largely uninhabited island come from?!

Movies

Best Movie Musicals of the 21st Century

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton Cast Reflect on Backlash and Criticism of Musical

By David Crow

It doesn’t matter! You know from the first time you heard Streep and company belt this that you sang along. You probably still do, joining in at the parade of empowered women, from ages two to 92, who’ve been liberated by the joy of their youth, now or remembered. As they dance badly across the world’s grooviest pier, it plays as loud; as camp; and as a goddamn delight.

3. “My Minnesota Home” in A Prairie Home Companion

Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin’s other major duet in A Prairie Home Companion, “My Minnesota Home” reworks Stephen Foster’s “My Old Kentucky Home” to give it a Lake Wobegon tenor. It is also the sweetest showcase for Streep and Tomlin’s chemistry, both as singers and human beings. The give and take between the pair, and then Streep’s rousing vibrato during the final chorus, has the air of genuine inspiration and real pleasure. Here are two performers finding harmony together on the stage and before our eyes. It’s big hearted and irresistible.

2. “I’m Checking Out” in Postcards from the Edge

Meryl’s first major musical moment came during the grand finale of director Mike Nichols and screenwriter Carrie Fisher’s wonderful little dramedy. Loosely and nakedly based on Fisher’s own relationship with her movie star mother Debbie Reynolds, Postcards from the Edge is a revealing and sometimes blunt exercise in getting things off a writer’s chest. And one thing Fisher really wanted to clear the air about was her mother’s desire to push her toward musical performance. While Fisher resisted in her own life, she allows the fictional Suzanne Vale (Streep) to give in to mother Doris Mann (Shirley MacLaine).

Movies

Best 11 Classic Movie Musicals

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton: The Real History of the Burr-Hamilton Duel

By David Crow

In doing so, she also gives into herself and sings this full-hearted rendition of “I’m Checking Out.” A country hymn to the bitterness of living in the heartbreak hotel, the song allows Suzanne (and hopefully Carrie) to bury some pain, and for Streep to reveal her formidable stage and screen presence in front of a microphone. It is probably the rawest and most intelligent performance on this list.

1. “Mamma Mia” in Mamma Mia!

Among Meryl Streep’s many songs in Mamma Mia!—including a few we did not put on this list, believe it or not—it’s her rendition of the movie’s title song that works best. Imbuing the tune with an infectious playfulness, and leaning into the impatience that pours from ABBA’s lyrics, Streep pounces around the screen like a cat who’s just spotted a bird… or at least three turkeys in the shapes of her exes (Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgård).

Culture

How Disney Saved Musicals for a New Generation

By David Crow

Movies

Hamilton: Thomas Jefferson Controversy Explained

By David Crow

As she creeps and creaks around their goathouse (don’t ask), debating whether to sneak another peak, the film finally makes sharp use of a movie’s ability to edit together imagery: We cut between Streep, the exiled suitors, Donna’s daughter and friends, and even an honest to Zeus Greek chorus of extras sticking their heads into the frame to chastise Streep. Not that she can resist her curiosity, nor do we resist watching it. In fact, we want to egg it on as Streep rolls around in overalls and crosses herself before embracing the next crescendo.

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Sarah Monette, the Victim Dilemma, the Aesthetic of Suffering and the Uncanny Valley of Arse Rape

by Wardog

Monday, 27 April 2009

Wardog fails to finish Sarah Monette's Corambis.~

Massive massive massive massive spoilers for about 1/3 of the book. Also, as the title suggests, this article is about nasty things so don’t read if you’re likely to be upset

Preramble (like a preamble but … d’you see?)

This is a bleak day indeed. I just got my hands on a copy of Corambis, the much-anticipated (by me at least) concluding part to Sarah Monette’s Doctrine of Labyrinths quartet and the truth of it is, I don’t think I can finish it.

Oh, Sarah, what happened? I do still love you, I just don’t think it’s working out.

I think it’s partially problems associated with reading through a series over a lengthy period of time. When I read Melusine, The Virtu was already out in hardback and I tore through at them enthusiastically, so drawn into the world and the characters that I barely noticed they were so heavily saturated in angst and woe that one could drown in it by simply opening the book a little recklessly. There was a bit of a wait for The Mirador – which I seem to recall I felt slightly less positively about but still adored – and I fell upon Mehitabel Parr’s I’m sure welcoming bosom to save me from the tidal waves of A&W. As much as I love Felix and Mildmay, it was Mehitabel’s narrative voice that made The Mirador bearable for me. It was such a necessary contrast to the boys: someone with some redeeming sense of self-irony, hurrah!

Of course, Mehitabel isn’t in Corambis. And, God, I miss her. There is a new viewpoint character, Kay Brightmore, blinded and imprisoned and weighed down by the terrible military failure that kicks off the book. He’s basically lost everything that ever mattered to him, can no longer fight on account of being blind and, needless to say, he has angst out the wazoo about it. I was broken and crying by Chapter three.

And, quite frankly, I just can’t take it. I know there is redemption in the future of these characters (characters I really care about, having spent three books with them), I know there is self-actualisation and the potential for happiness, I know because I cheated and looked, but I’ve really really struggled with Corambis. The worst of it is, I’m sure it will be a triumphant and satisfying conclusion to the quartet. Sarah Monette is an excellent writer, I love her world, I love the way she uses language, I love her characters, I love everything about her but I think I’m going to have to accept the fact I simply can’t read her.

Oh, Sarah, what happened? I do still love you, it’s not you, it’s me.

Maybe in a couple of years we’ll be able to work something out.

I think circumstances might be playing into this unhappy state of affairs as well. When I read the early books, there wasn’t a cloud in my sky. But having emerged from a rather bleak year, there’s something a little too close in all that guilt and grief and self-loathing and despair, and I can’t distance myself enough from it to enjoy it. There is a systematic aestheticisation of suffering to be found in all of Monette’s books. I’m not going to try and argue that as either a positive or negative quality in her work. I think it’s probably neutral: it’s

something

art

does

sometimes

. I acknowledge the difference between literary suffering and real suffering, in that there can be a romance in the former which is impossible in the latter. Also literary suffering exists in a wider, symbolic and allegorical sphere than that of an individual having shitty things done to them by life or others, mainly, I suspect, because it’s not real. Take madness – there is something deeply attractive and romantic about the artistic representation of madness (like Felix’s madness in Melusine) and it’s perfectly possible to appreciate that, and to find in it a kind of beauty, without ignoring the genuine distress suffered by the mentally ill. In short, Ophelia is not my friend who killed herself last year.

But the boundaries between the fictional and the real are not comprehensively signposted. There isn’t a traceable spectrum between Lavinia, daughter of Titus Andronicus, and Elizabeth Short. And ultimately I think there comes an impossible point when the literary and the real collide, corrupt each other and prove they are utterly irreconcilable and yet simultaneously inseparable. Yes, they must be understood as different things operating in a different way – a painting of St Sebastian is not the same as footage of the prisoners at Guantanamo bay – but there comes a point when it is necessary to remember what it is that’s being aestheticised and ask yourself why.

Page 152

Okay, so, there’s a gang-rape scene in Corambis.

Felix – former prostitute, broken gay wizard with ex-cruel master and traumatic past - ends up subjecting himself a thaumaturgic orgy in order to earn money to pay for his ailing brother’s medicine.

It’s awful.

It’s not that it’s explicit, just awful.

And I’m no wuss, okay. I’ve read Last Exit to Brooklyn. I’ve read The Wasp Factory. I’ve read American Psycho.

But something about this scene in this book bought me a first class ticket on the ARGH! Train and whizzed me straight out of my comfort zone.

It’s strange to say that something is “outside your comfort zone” in that it feels like a confession of personal failure (also something that’s outside my comfort zone). And then I thought about it more, and I thought: hey, so what, gang-rape is outside my comfort zone. Surely that’s normal. Gang-rape is absolutely something that should be outside all our comfort zones. But here’s where it gets complicated: in fact, fictional gang-rape is not outside my comfort zone. I play H-games, for God’s sake, where they’re ten a penny. You can’t take two steps in an H-game without stubbing your toe on a gang rape. So it’s something more specific than that. It was something about this particular portrayal of it.

It’s not shock value. Felix gets himself sexually abused on a pretty regular basis, so much so, in fact, that it’s kind of part of the fun, and it’s very much tied into Monette’s aesthetic of suffering.

I could not see, and I could barely hear, save for my own harsh breathing. But I could feel. I could Malkar’s hands like silk, running up and down my back, tracing the scars, the old palimpsest of pain. I could feel his body arching against me, his bulk, his heat. I felt his hands slide under my hips, stroking, exciting, felt the stiffness of him against my thigh. Pain, then, but not too much. Pain … and arousal all woven together like a tapestry. I was moaning, gasping; the only word I could form were “Please, Malkar, please, lease,” and I didn’ tknow if I was begging him to stop or continue. Not that it would made the slightest difference either way.

Let’s pin our colours to the mast here. That’s beautiful. Terrible, but beautiful and absolutely literary in its unrealness. It’s also about as accurate a portrayal of sexual abuse than St Sebastian up there is of martyrdom. Perhaps I’m just an irredeemable sicko but I’m pretty sure it’s there, to an extent, to be enjoyed, partially as spectacle (straight women do not generally write about beautiful gay boys sexing each other manipulatively because it’s a Serious Social Issue) and, also, partially as vindication for all the crappy things that have been done to innumerable female characters in a seventy years of fantasy fiction. I’m not, of course, advocating backlash (more manrape!) but there is something compelling and, even perhaps comforting, in characters like Felix, Alec and friends, these beautiful men, who are as sexually vulnerable as women, suffer and fear the sort of things women suffer and fear, and are very much created to be subjects of an extra-textual female gaze and the intra-textual male gaze. I’m not saying that men don’t get raped and looked at, but the sheer saturation is demonstrably less. I am not trying to say that what happens to Felix at the start of Melusine isn’t dreadful. It is. But it’s a literary violation, and it reduces him to a literary madness that is as terrible and as beautiful as the horror that creates it.

But let’s talk about gang rape. Now there’s something you don’t say everyday.

The scene itself written in a very similar style – opulent, not too explicit although more explicit than above, and contains the same awkward issues of dubious consent. In Melusine, Felix chooses to go to Malkar in a fit of self loathing. In Corambis he agrees theoretically to an orgy in order to raise money for Mildmay’s medical treatment. In both cases what ends up happening to him is far more devastating than what he originally signed up for but, equally, there’s an element of complicity to it. If you return to your abusive master, expect to get abused. If you agree to be the centerpiece of an orgy, expect to get fucked. This abject stupidity is granted a psychological plausibility because Felix is a messed up little bunny, with a supposedly tragic conviction of his own profound worthlessness.

Obviously I don’t want to get into real issues here, but I think the reason the dubious consent became one of the bothering aspects of the scene in Corambis is that the sex abuse came plot-approved. I mean, if Felix was walking down the street and happened to get jumped and gang raped by a bunch of guys I think many a reader might rightly cry “Sarah Monette, what the fuck?” as there are very few occasions in which it is either appropriate or necessary to get one of your characters gang raped. But this way he has a “real” reason to put himself voluntarily into a position where he might be. It’s even, perhaps, meant to be on some level noble – in a hopelessly fucked up way, of course. So what you end up with is a deeply uncomfortable situation in which everything conspires, including (conveniently) Felix himself, to create a scenario in which a horrible but beautifully written gang rape is, to an extent, okay. And this is where the aesthetic of suffering starts to come apart at the seams.

Essentially this scene falls right into the uncanny valley. If it was purely designed for titillation I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but as it is there are elements are titillation and elements of horror. We are meant to be shocked and appalled – and it is shocking and appalling – but it’s framed in such a way that we are simultaneously liberated to relish the aesthetic. And quite frankly that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think there’s something profoundly hypocritical and, indeed, deeply disturbing in the idea of enjoying both moral outrage and illicit sexual excitement (see Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse). The scene bears all the hallmarks of erotic non-con (there are elements of psychological exposure as well as physical, the victim is physically aroused throughout, the abusers are appreciative of his beauty and his apparent eagerness, and so on and so forth) but worked through a guilt-appeasing filter of “oh gosh, isn’t this terrible.”

My ankles were still chained and somebody had me scruffed like a kitten; I was keening in protest, but I was dragged upright, forced to straddle someone’s thighs, while he continued fucking me with the same relentless steadiness. I was displayed for all of them, my arousal jutting out shamelessly, the tear tracks on my face attesting to my weakness.

Now, I know that, unlike erotic non-con, Felix is not secretly into what’s being done to him and that he’s breaking and being broken here but you still have a scene that’s running in two directions simultaneously and trying to have its cake and eat it. It goes out of its way to tick the non-con wink-wink boxes but then slaps you face in the face with its insistence that this a terrible and traumatic event. Essentially you can’t have a gorgeously written gang rape that positions itself within a carefully constructed aesthetic framework and a psychologically accurate and traumatic portrait of a terrible ordeal.

And, ultimately, I guess you have to ask yourself if it’s okay to have an aesthetic gang rape scene full stop. The idea bothers me less as pornography but here, I would argue, that it gains an added erotic piquancy from the fact it really is annihilating Felix, which, again is troublesome. Essentially it’s why raping Clarissa is so much more interesting than raping Justine, and why it’s all right to get off on the latter and not the former.

The more I’ve thought about this and tried to articulate my issues with it, the more complex and convoluted it has become. There is, of course, an element of the purely personal about – I didn’t like it and it upset me – as well as these more abstract, intellectualizations of it. I dug around on Monette’s Livejournal – on which is usually charming and sensible – to see what I could find and, lo and behold, she has written quite comprehensively on the subject, which I shall now quote pretty much in its entirety:

I knew from very early on that Felix was going to turn back to prostitution to get the money for a doctor for someone he loved (I knew this was going to happen before I knew Mildmay existed), and I knew that he was going to end up in a situation that was completely out of his control and that hurt him badly. Because Felix is reckless and self-destructive and because under all his vanity, he doesn't think he's worth protecting. And because it is a kind of answering horror to his being raped by Malkar at the beginning of Mélusine. And because he needed something that would force him to confront these issues--force him to see that he doesn't deserve to be abused--and it had to be something superlatively unbearable if it was going to get through to him, because Felix has way too much experience at ignoring his own pain.

Say what? So it’s redemptive gang rape, the sort makes you a stronger and better person? What … the … fuck? It’s like those Hollywood amnesia plotlines (one blow to the head gives you amnesia, another blow cures it) except with sexual abuse. I know, again, we’re operating in a fictional sphere but this is so made of wrong that I’ll just content myself with linking to Dan’s article on

the victim dilemma

and throw my hands up in despair.

I quite enjoy Monette’s aestheticisation of suffering, I could probably navigate the uncanny valley if I really had to but I am sick to death of male fantasy writers using sexual abuse as a textual shortcut for character development and I’m damned if I’m going to deal with women doing the same thing. Sarah Monette, you are better than this.

Sexual abuse is not good for you. It happens and people react. Constantly depicting characters who react to it in courageous and life-enhancing ways is not empowering, it’s fucking demeaning to people who struggle along every day as best they can.

I’m sure in a different time in a different mood I’ll pick up Corambis again and I’ll get to page 152 and I’ll shrug and go “gang rape, meh” and read right on.

But not today.Themes:

Damage Report

Books

Sarah Monette

Sci-fi / Fantasy

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~Comments (

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Arthur B

at 14:44 on 2009-04-27It's depressing when series go south like this. It's especially annoying when they burn down the virtues of the earlier volumes. I was looking at your first Monette review and you were saying how you were impressed by the fact that Felix was gay, but it kind of wasn't a big deal; I'm getting the impression that as the series goes on that becomes less true, since that LJ extract makes it sounds like Monette intended all along to reduce Felix to a weepy gay man being abused by angry gay men. (If I'm interpreting that right - if Felix pimping himself out predates the existence of Mildmay, that means that Monette was planning to make this happen since before the first book, right?)

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Wardog

at 15:11 on 2009-04-27Mmm, that's part of the problem though. I don't actually think it's "gone south" - despite the Xtreme angst I was quite absorbed until page 152. It was merely that scene that tripped me out. I'm sure if I could put it behind me and just get on with the book, I'd probably really like it.

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:32 on 2009-04-27Great, now I need a shower.

While I suppose rape can be presented as being aesthetically pleasing, like in erotic non-con, I still don't like it. I've always found consenting sex between happy, willing partners infinitely more pleasurable -- don't ask me why. This sort of stuff just makes my skin crawl.

What's funny is that I can make it through The 120 Days of Sodom without blinking, but I think that's because De Sade insisted on using the driest, most tortured language possible.

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Wardog

at 21:15 on 2009-04-27Sorry Cyrus. I'm not sure but I think it's probably easier to be into erotic non-con / rape fantasy if you're a woman than a man, either because you're more likely to imagine yourself as the rapee rather than the rapist which is slightly easier to deal with morally speaking or because the world seems generally reluctant to admit that women can rape people too. Whereas if you're a man who fantasies about forcing women to have sex with him ... well ... hostility many ensue from quarters unwilling to concede the very real difference between fantasy, reality and simulated non-con.

Hmm, I think the thing about 120 Days of Sodom is that, as you say, it's incredibly dull. And de Sade is a terrible writer. There's only one thing worse than a rape scene and that's a badly written rape scene!

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Arthur B

at 21:18 on 2009-04-27I do wonder sometimes whether deSade was an early pen-and-paper troll. Most of his books seem to be the literary equivalent of telling someone a particular link goes to an interesting and thought-provoking philosophy website when actually it points to goatse or 2girls1cup.

I mean, he went to jail for it, but you have to make sacrifices for "the lulz", as I believe the young people call it these days.

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http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 02:43 on 2009-04-28"Constantly depicting characters who react to it in courageous and life-enhancing ways is not empowering, it’s fucking demeaning to people who struggle along every day as best they can."

I have to disagree here- not with the point you make, but with the accusation being levelled at Monette. Felix has spent three books getting abused and every reaction to it has been, basically, "I was right all along, I am worthless. Hmmm, should I hurt myself again or just re-alienate everyone who cares about me tonight?" The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts, and it isn't the only influence on his growth as a person. A lot has to do with having Mildmay -who has been developing his own self-confidence, on his own, without the help of shitty things happening to him- be there for him and push and push to get him (Felix) not to hurt himself any more.

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Wardog

at 09:13 on 2009-04-28

The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts, and it isn't the only influence on his growth as a person.

I do see your point and I wasn't really dissing Monette, who I actually adore. There was just something about this scene, or the way it was presented, or *something* that was a bridge too far for me. And at first I was inclined to just ignore it and tell myself to stop being a wuss and then I got interested in *why* this scene was so problematic and, secondarily, I realised that, on a wider level, it should probably be okay to stand up and say "for me, this gang rape is not okay."

I will at some point finish Corambis, because I have *hugely* enjoyed the Doctrine of Labyrinths quartet (I have some reviews knocking around here in which I give much sweet sweet love), I think I just need some time to get away from the gang rape.

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Wardog

at 09:29 on 2009-04-28

I do wonder sometimes whether deSade was an early pen-and-paper troll

Dan and I like the idea of historical trolls, and also explains the Marquis far more than most of pop-psych nonsense I've read does =P

Lucifer, of course, would be the first troll - complaining about the mods.

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http://miss-morland.livejournal.com/

at 11:54 on 2009-04-28*giggles at the thought of de Sade and Lucifer as trolls*

I haven't read Monette's books, but I still found this post very interesting - it articulates my issues with non-con and dub-con in fiction very well. (I do wonder, though, if ambiguous portrayals of rape scenes are sometimes meant to make the readers think and question their own attitudes, instead of jumping to the safe reaction of 'OMG so horrible'?)

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Dan H

at 14:25 on 2009-04-28

I do wonder, though, if ambiguous portrayals of rape scenes are sometimes meant to make the readers think and question their own attitudes, instead of jumping to the safe reaction of 'OMG so horrible'?)

You might well be right, but even if that is the intent, it's a deeply flawed one.

Perhaps I'm just an arrogant shit, but I really hate it when people try to make me think about stuff unless it's in a medium *specifically designed* for that.

If you want to challenge my preconceptions about rape, write a book that is *about* challenging my preconcieved notions about rape. Don't try to do it in the middle of a fantasy series that is mostly about hot gay wizards gettin' it on.

If I want to have my ideas about absuse challenged, I'll read Lolita, or possibly I'll track down some abuse-survivors' weblogs. I won't read an otherwise ordinary fantasy novel or, for that matter, watch

Dollhouse

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Dan H

at 16:05 on 2009-04-28

The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts

I can't speak for Kyra, but the problem I have with this is that it suggests, falsely, that the more traumatic an experience is the less likely you are to blame yourself for it. I'm by no means an expert on the subject of abuse survival but from my limited experience people's tendency to self-blame for things is wholly unrelated to the severity of the abuse suffered. For that matter, the whole idea of rating abuse experiences in order of severity is a bit of a dodgy precedent.

Essentially I think there's an important, and worrying, difference between "Felix has experienced things like this before but, because he has grown as a person, and because of the influence of Mildmay, he does not blame himself for this experience" and "Felix has experienced things like this before but, because this experience is so much worse than the others, he cannot blame himself for it".

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http://sistermagpie.livejournal.com/

at 21:38 on 2009-05-01I haven't read this last book yet, but I'm glad for the heads-up. Having read the other 3 I can definitely see how this kind of thing would play, and I'm not surprised that she'd planned something like this from the beginning. It does make you think thought, about the idea that this character is constantly going through situations like this, and it's finally when he acheives the kind of abuse he might have always thought would be what he deserved, that he realizes he didn't deserve it. Even if Mildmay and other experiences are also part of his turnaround, I don't know whether that kind of catalyst will click for me the way another one might.

Like, rather than having him be in a situatio that's the same as before, but with one clear difference that makes him see it clearly, it's almost like Helen Keller at the well. Repeated fingerspelling over and over and finally he gets it.

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Wardog

at 15:28 on 2009-05-11I lost this temporarily in the deluge of comments about other things.

It is possible I've over-reacted to the gang rape; I suppose responses to these sort of motifs are always going to be extremely personal. I feel almost hypocritical because, as you say, there's plenty of indication previously that we were on the Sex Abuse Superhighway and something like this was probably bound to happen. But the way it's framed and written, combinated with its narrative function as a catalyst for change really really squicked me out. I know it's not necessarily meant to be psychologically plausible but there's something deeply worrying in the idea that there is a scale of sexual abuse, the extreme end of which teaches you self respect.

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valse de la lune

at 14:04 on 2011-07-12I tracked down

this interview

and I'm now extremely, thoroughly grossed out with Sarah Monette:

I think this does happen to gay male protagonists (the most obvious example is Mercedes Lackey's Last Herald-Mage books). And I think Felix does fall into this trap to a certain extent, although in my defense I will say that the reason he gets raped is because I was interested in the tension inherent in a character who could be both rapist and victim. Which could have been a woman, or a heterosexual man, but it was most obvious and easiest to mobilize with a gay man. I also chose a gay male protagonist because my abiding interest is in the power dynamics of human relationships, especially sexual relationships, and it is VERY VERY HARD to write about that with a heterosexual female protagonist without pigeon-holing her and yourself into either a re-inscription of patriarchal gender roles (male dominant, female submissive) or a simple gender reversal (female dominant, male submissive) (which I did work with some in my novella, "A Gift of Wings," in The Queen in Winter). A lesbian relationship is also a possibility, but it's far more interesting and attention-grabbing to take power away from a man than it is to give power to a woman. [...] Also, because we live in a patriarchal society and have for several thousand years, there's nothing new or shocking about the idea that women are victims. (I'm not saying this is a good thing, mind you.) You can get more narrative charge out of victimizing a man and you aren't reinscribing the same old gender role patterns into that ever deeper groove of men act and women suffer.

What the fuck, Monette? My word, lesbian relationships aren't just ~hawt~ enough unlike slender

yaoi stereotypes

wizards sexing it up and... female empowerment is just too boring? Female victimization is just too

banal

to write about so gay men being degraded (and in this case, often raped by women) has more "narrative charge"? There's also something toward the end that basically goes "well, if you are writing about male rape it's super

titillating

shocking so people will recognize RAPE IS HORRIBLE whereas women being raped is just so

every day

so... hey, manpain! That'll get people

thinking

, right? Right!"

I don't know, all of this reads like the slash fangirl's justification why she's not interested in writing girls but wants to write hot boys instead, all disguised under a pretend layer of ~*soshul justeese*~.

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Wardog

at 23:33 on 2011-07-12Oh dear. I'm actually really annoyed with myself that it took me to Book IV to unpack what was going on with the, err, sexay mainpain and all the arse rape. I did quite like Monette initially - I think partially because when I first read Melusine I was still under the impression that gay characters were pretty rare in fantasy. To give Monette credit, when she actually bothers to be interested in them, she does write interesting female characters - I mean I *loved* Mehitabel from this series.

I think what freaks me out the most is that, as you observe, it's blatant titillation under the label of trangression. I have no problems with people getting their kicks from whatever they get their kicks from, as long as it's a carefully demarcated fantasy space, but pretending it's anything else is deeply toxic.

Also that interview was just awful :(

Maybe it's just because it doesn't apply to me but I don't understand why so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hawt but two women apparently tedious. Ho hum.

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valse de la lune

at 05:06 on 2011-07-13I think gay characters are still pretty rare in fantasy, but the gay dudes all seem to come from the same wellspring of fanfic tropes. I've read all the arguments as to why dudeslash is a female-positive space that enables women to explore their sexuality and I do get some of it, but I can't shake the feeling that so much of that is hot air; no matter how hard a slash fan argues I can't really see how spamming rape at gay dudes is particularly, y'know, feminist. Maybe it plays with power dynamics and whatnot but, on the other hand,

rape culture

I don't get the thing with YAY HAWT BOYS EWW GIRLS ARE BORING either, though it's been explained to me that most female characters aren't decently written so people'd sooner generate fanfic about boys instead. But that doesn't fly because fandom churns out great volumes of fanfic dedicated to minor male characters, even though some of them barely have a presence in the book/show/movie--see Figwit of the LOTR movies fame--whereas women, primary or tertiary, still get written out or villified. There are even

bingo cards

. Somewhere in that

a valid clause regarding how we're trained to look at media through male gateways thanks to patriarchy and we internalize that. Still don't get it on a personal level because I've always preferred female characters over male, but there it goes.

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Melissa G.

at 06:30 on 2011-07-13

Maybe it's just because it doesn't apply to me but I don't understand why so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hawt but two women apparently tedious. Ho hum.

Speaking as a straight woman who gets paid to translate yaoi, I can understand that pretty well. :-) It's not that I find girls boring as characters, but as someone who isn't sexually attracted to women, I find myself gravitating toward situations where I can look at/write about two sexy boys instead if I'm looking for smexy times. (Though I'm very, very picky these days about yaoi because of tropes I'm sure I've mentioned before.)

I feel some sympathy for Monette because I do have a hard time verbalizing my tastes without resorting to those same basic arguments about power play or feeling the need to judge the female character and how she is portrayed specifically because she's female (which I wish I didn't, but I do so...). What I find odd is the fact that everyone insists on asking me *why* I find male-on-male romance so appealing, and then I'm stuck in this hem-hawing, putting-on-airs defense because I'm too embarrassed to just go, "Two guys doing stuff to each other is hot?"

(Uh-oh, now I'm having Dorian Gray flashbacks. Oh, Ben Barnes, you scamp, you!!)

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Steve Stirling at 07:07 on 2011-07-13

I don't get the thing with YAY HAWT BOYS EWW GIRLS ARE BORING either

-- you get exactly the same in reverse from male writers a lot, so I don't see that there's any mystery about it.

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valse de la lune

at 07:20 on 2011-07-13I don't think Kyra's asking "why male-on-male?" but more "why do people find women inexplicably boring?"

but as someone who isn't sexually attracted to women, I find myself gravitating toward situations where I can look at/write about two sexy boys instead if I'm looking for smexy times.

That doesn't make sense to me because, even outside of sexual context, a lot of slashers just don't want to write women period and I'm sure we don't always only write about what's sexually/romantically attractive to us (or no straight man would ever write male characters).

It also doesn't really answer why women are so villified and hated by fandom at large: why people like Monette believe "it's more interesting to take power away from a man than to give power to a woman," or why slash is passed off as some wonderful female-positive space when it involves a lot of female-negative things, including but not limited to slut-shaming and othering women. Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

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Steve Stirling at 07:24 on 2011-07-13

I don't think Kyra's asking "why male-on-male?" but more "why do people find women inexplicably boring?"

-- I don't. I actually had to start flipping coins at one point to make sure my characters weren't predominantly female.

Maybe it's because I was in single-sex schools for a lot of my adolescence, but I just find women more interesting than men. More complex and variable, on average.

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Steve Stirling at 07:38 on 2011-07-13

Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

-- I don't read much (any, really) slash, but the actually-published equivalents like the book described here don't seem particularly misogynist to me. Just obsessed with Hot Boys in Chains.

As for the rape and stuff, a lot of people get off on that. Trying to tell people that the sexual fantasies which ring their chimes aren't permissible is roughly equivalent to trying to scold water until it voluntarily runs uphill. Much effort, little result.

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valse de la lune

at 07:45 on 2011-07-13

I don't. I actually had to start flipping coins at one point to make sure my characters weren't predominantly female.

Thank you, Minority Warrior, but if you are a bloke that's not exactly addressed to you.

I don't read much (any, really) slash, but the actually-published equivalents like the book described here don't seem particularly misogynist to me. Just obsessed with Hot Boys in Chains.

I've only read the first book and the gang-rape scene in the fourth, but a lot of the women in this series like to rape gay men for some strange reason.

Melusine

opens with an anecdote about the pure, true love between men. Two women get between it; one proceeds to rape one of the men repeatedly until he wants to kill himself. So, yes, both fandom slash and published slash perpetuate a lot of the same crap. Then there's Monette's interview and strange leaps of illogic which read sexist as hell to me.

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Melissa G.

at 08:48 on 2011-07-13

I can't speak to that. I don't know why so many writers are so anti-female characters, and it would take me pages of musing to try and come to a conclusion. I was referring specifically to sexual situations (by which I mean stories centering on sex) because the comment I was particularly responding to was "why do so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hot but two women apparently tedious". Which I read as "why do so many women love writing about two guys (sexually) but find writing about two women so boring (sexually)". Perhaps I misinterpreted what Kyra was saying. I stated clearly that I don't find women boring as characters to read and write about, but that I understand why many women gravitate toward male homosexual relationships and why they might find it arousing when they are writing merely to titillate themselves/others.

I haven't read the series in question so I take everyone's word for it that the rape isn't handled well and misogyny abounds. And trust me, I'm the first person to get fed up with the kind of tropes male-on-male stuff tends to come with - especially when written by someone who's probably never even spoken to a gay man before. I got fed up with one author in particular because her protagonists kept falling for their rapists, yuck. But just because a lot of it sucks and perpetuates some seriously shitty stuff doesn't mean that it's not okay to find guy-on-guy stuff hot. And I really don't appreciate being made to feel like because I like it, I am somehow in danger of losing my feminist card.

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valse de la lune

at 09:57 on 2011-07-13I don't think I have been suggesting that if you like slash, you're in danger of losing your feminist cred; being a feminist doesn't exactly mean everything you consume must be feminist, after all, and we all enjoy things that are problematic to some degree. I just don't like how it's put forward as a YAY WOMEN field when it's not really. Likewise, I've been shouted down in fandom spaces for calling out misogyny in slash, something along the line of

you will find it is you who is misogyny

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valse de la lune

at 10:06 on 2011-07-13(Sorry that I'm coming down harshly such that you feel you're being discredited as a feminist, though.)

One more thing--I've been told over and over that there is a strong presence of queer women in slash circles, so for some it's not so much a matter of "I'm straight so more cocks yay!!!" In fact, with so many queer women around--so many lesbians even--you'd think there would be more F/F fanfic. But there isn't, so...

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Melissa G.

at 10:23 on 2011-07-13

I don't think I have been suggesting that if you like slash, you're in danger of losing your feminist cred

I think I was responding defensively to this comment:

Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

It basically felt to me like my entire sexual preference/fetish/whatever was being boiled down to "ogling hot boys". It’s those kinds of dismissive, judgmental comments that make me feel like I need to somehow justify what I find arousing. That’s why you have people arguing that it’s pro-women or empowering or whatever to write and read man-on-man love stories. When an attraction is called into question, I think often women in particular feel the need to base that attraction in something intellectual and philosophical. Because it would be wrong for a woman to just find something titillating or arousing. Because women aren’t supposed to like sex just for sex.

I think there are ways that it can be empowering (I wouldn't go so far as to say 'feminist'), but most of it fails in this regard. For me, when I read a story with a male bottom that I can relate to as far as sexual behavior, it makes me feel less weird. There's something freeing about the behavior being related to the position and not the gender, for me anyway. I think that also relates to why an author might find it more interesting (and by interesting I mean because they find it hot) to take power away from men. For some women who are attracted to men, there is something very fascinating and seductive about a man submitting (either sexually or emotionally), probably because it's something so commonly associated with female behavior. So again, it becomes less of a gender thing and more of a relationship role thing. If that makes any sense....

I just don't like how it's put forward as a YAY WOMEN field when it's not really.

I totally understand that. I actually avoid fan written slash like the plague because most of it is just not good. Most of it is (I think) influenced by yaoi, which oh dear god, has such problems. There is so much rape and questionable consent and a lot of "I'm only gay for that guy" and such overly traditional female behavior (even though one of them is male, go figure). And the kind of people you've probably argued with are likely the kind of people who make me afraid to admit I'm part of the yaoi subculture.

But there is good stuff out there. I promise. :-)

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Melissa G.

at 10:26 on 2011-07-13

Sorry, I made my long post before I saw this! That is odd. Why don't they focus on yuri? Yuri is slowly becoming a more female dominated genre. It's kind of cool actually that the female authors are slowly co-opting a genre that was once basically male-written lesbian porn for men. To each their own, I guess?

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valse de la lune

at 10:59 on 2011-07-13

It basically felt to me like my entire sexual preference/fetish/whatever was being boiled down to "ogling hot boys".

But... I said that because I think it's pretty dandy if you're just in it for the ogling of hot boys, or balls being cupped gently, or even self-lubing anuses. I don't think you, or anyone else, need to justify it any further than that. Think it's hot? Go for it! That's excellent. Objectifying

men

in and of itself, separate from the concern over straight people fetishizing homosexuality, doesn't really bother me. I'm not questioning the appeal of slash: I'm questioning some of the tropes, the homophobia, the misogyny. Which certainly aren't universal, but there sure is a lot of them to go around. Hell, gay male characters written by straight men also get raped an awful lot (hi Richard Morgan, thank you for that graphic schoolboy gang rape).

Disclosure: I think lesbians are awesome. I'd like to read more stuff with lesbian representation. Being homoromantic does have something to do with it, though.

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Melissa G.

at 11:11 on 2011-07-13

:-) I think it just came off as hostile because of the swearing, lol. To be honest, I was probably overly defensive because it's kind of a touchy thing for me.

I'm not questioning the appeal of slash: I'm questioning some of the tropes, the homophobia, the misogyny.

Yes, I'm with you here. I have a lot of trouble with a lot of boy/boy stuff that's out there.

Re: Lesbians

If you're looking to try out some yuri, I can lead you to some scanlation sites. I haven't read much yuri so I can't totally vouch for the content, but these are sites that I know of:

Lililicious

Payapaya

Just be sure to check for ratings and such. There was one on Lilicious I read years ago that I was enjoying.

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valse de la lune

at 11:14 on 2011-07-13OMG yay :D :D :D Thanks for the links. My friend's been sending me some too. I'm also quite pleased to see that a lot of yuri writers are female. Awesome.

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Cammalot

at 15:23 on 2011-07-13I JUST WANNA WATCH DUDES EMOTE. ;-)

I actually got into yaoi (not slash for whatever reason) because I was attracted to what I thought was the innate equality in such a a relationship. There are a variety of reasons I don't really seek out much fanfic anymore (one of which is the decade-plus that has gone by) but one of them is that I don't really see that equality getting embraced. (I'm necessarily truncating this, I have to imitate being a productive employee at the moment.)

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Melissa G.

at 19:40 on 2011-07-13

I JUST WANNA WATCH DUDES EMOTE. ;-)

Ooh, yes, good observation. I like that too.

I actually got into yaoi (not slash for whatever reason) because I was attracted to what I thought was the innate equality in such a a relationship.

Ditto. That's what I really like about it too, which is why I hate when they skew the power dynamic too far in one direction without somehow compensating for it in another way. I've never been into fanfic, but I do love doujinshi.

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Cammalot

at 19:48 on 2011-07-13I wrote up this whole long comment yesterday, but today with you guys' further conversation I realized I was addressing something that Pyro was not talking about, so I'm tweaking, but I don't think I'll have a chance to get to it today.

The extremely short version is that there's a very definite blockage that some women seem to have about writing women, and I had it myself for some time (and that some more extreme versions of it outright baffle me), and have spent a lot of time trying to process, discuss, and debate what the fuck that is about. With theories. I have theories.

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Melissa G.

at 19:53 on 2011-07-13

The extremely short version is that there's a very definite blockage that some women seem to have about writing women,

Definitely noticed this myself at times. I gravitate toward writing male characters, or at least I used to. I'm very interested to hear your theories whenever you find the time to write them up. :-)

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Sister Magpie

at 20:07 on 2011-07-13

I would guess that that's probably not all that related to the whole "that's my kink" thing, only not all kinks are sexual. That is, expecting them to explain it would probably be similar to having anybody explain why they find one thing more hot than another.

For instance, I like het and I like slash, but there are certain kinds of stories that could definitely be considered non-sexual kinks that I am more likely to read about in a m/m pairing than a f/m pairing or f/f pairing. I suppose I could try to relate it to power issues with gender IRL, but it's probably more just a kink if it's something I've pretty much always been drawn to.

I don't find that rape or "I'm only gay for that guy" seems to dominate most of the slash I come across, but I think that might often come down to different pairings leaning towards different dynamics. Or else also some authors being better than most.

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Steve Stirling at 22:44 on 2011-07-13Pyrofennec:

-of the women in this series like to rape gay men for some strange reason.Melusine opens with an anecdote about the pure, true love between men. Two women get between it; one proceeds to rape one of the men repeatedly until he wants to kill himself.

-- that is odd. I'd say it was evidence of misogyny if a guy wrote it, but I have trouble -imagining- a guy writing it, even a gay man. You'd need a very strange set of quirks to do so.

#Ferretbrain #Corambis #Sarah Monette #Wardog

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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 6 years

Link

Let’s debunk this hot trash

“Part of the problem in front of Marvel Comics is the Marvel Universe is one long, mostly-unbroken line since its inception in 1961's Fantastic Four #1. There have been retcons, changes, tweaks, and cuts, but by and large it's a straight run. The universe has seen a number of resets, but it's mostly been returned to the state that long-time fans are comfortable with.”

Why is this a problem? Marvel is the highest selling comic book company in America and the long continuity is objectively not a problem.

It’s just something people incorrectly claim is a problem.

By the 1990s Marvel already had shittons of complicated continuity that had been going longer than most other long running franchise stories.

The readers back then jumped on ship just fine.

The AMOUNT of continuity you have is never the problem it’s how you manage it. In the days where every issue was treated as someone’s first and made accessible the amount of continuity was never a problem.

“Marvel Comics as a whole and the current creative stewards of its characters have to roll with 57 years of punches. They have to take the good and the bad. In the case of Spider-Man, the current writers, artists, and editors have to occasionally tackle the fact that Peter Parker hit his wife, made a deal with Mephisto to wipe out his marriage, or that Gwen Stacy had sex with Norman Osborn. ”

They don’t HAVE to deal with any of that.

They already dealt with the first of those things and simply SHOULD deal with the other two by erasing them.

But it’s also not like the presence of those things (sans OMD) is a huge hamper on the storytelling abilities or sales of the writers.

“Many of these are moments that readers and creators would simply like to forget, but they're a part of the fabric of the character. ”

Yes and welcome to ‘This is how a dramatic character on serialized fiction’ works.

“With Marvel's Spider-Man for PlayStation 4, Insomniac Games had the chance to start from scratch. They get to pick and choose what works for their version of Peter Parker and his alter-ego. The only backstory he brings to the table is that which Insomniac has carefully considered. This allows the team to drop the facets of Spider-Man that maybe didn't work and play around with some new ideas that might be better. And if Marvel's smart, they should steal some of what Insomniac Games did here.”

Why?

Insomniac already stole from Marvel.

Sales and storytelling potential for Spider-Man is NOT hampered by large continuity or even negative patches of it for the most part.

When bad stories happen so long as they are fixed then things get to move on. Even something as bad as Sins Past isn’t overly a drag because the story itself is so nonsensical it might as well not be canon, people have isolated and ignored it and the scope of the damage it can cause is fairly limited, it doesn’t really cut to the heart of the franchise. The time he hit his wife on the other hand was dealt with and moved on from.

So the existence of bad patches doesn’t really matter. Doctor Who has had no end of bad stories merely in it’s TV incarnation (to say nothing of it’s plethora of spin-off media which are all canon to varying degrees) and all those things still happened. But the show is still going strong and hit stratospheric popularity in the mid-late 2000s and early 2010s.

Hell the Simpsons is still going despite there being at least 20 years of mediocre-bad stories.

“I'm going to be honest. I'm not a huge fan of Mary Jane Watson. I don't necessarily have a problem with the character, but I've never really been a fan either. The marriage of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson was done on a whim and many writershated it at the time.”

Oy vey this shit again.

The marriage was not done on a whim. Stan Lee, the creator of Spider-Man wanted it to happen and EIC Jim Shooter decided to synch it up with the comics.

At the time Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz had been building up to Peter and MJ’s wedding with the intention of her jilting him.

But the build up from them, and other writers like Peter David, was still there.

Only the outcome changed.

As for this ‘many writers hated it’ thing, the article links to ONE writer’s opinion on the subject.

If we actually look at the majority of Spider-Man writers to have written for Spider-Man during and after the marriage we see most of them were okay or neutral on the subject.

David Michelinie wasn’t thrilled with it, but he came on side eventually. Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz were the same. Matt Fraction wasn’t too sure about it but wasn’t innately against it either. Nick Spencer clearly liked it. Howard Mackie has given statements indicating he was against it at a time but might over all be neutral. Roberto Aguirre Sacasa has never said anything on the subject to my knowledge but his work implies he’s supportive of it. Mark Millar has never said anything on the subject. J.M. DeMatteis, J. Michael Straczynski and Peter David have been outright supportive of it, as was probably Todd McFarlane, Jodie Houser and for sure artist Ryan Stegman.

Oh and Stan Lee the creator of Spider-Man. Let’s not leave him out.

Compared to that we have Roger Stern, Terry Kavanagh, John Byrne, Paul Jenkins, Gerry Conway and Jim Owsley who were against it.

Conway’s opposition was possibly due to his going through a divorce at the time. Stern’s opposition was based upon his idea of MJ being stuck in the Silver Age but he wasn’t innately opposed to Spider-Man marrying in general. Jim Owsley on his linked to blog (where he routinely lies, including claiming Ron Frenz was potentially suicidal when he never was) had a stupid sexist rationale for disliking the marriage. John Byrne is creepy shithead who would’ve preferred Spider-Man was dating underage girls anyway and along with Terry Kavanagh never wrote a good Spider-Man story in his life. In Kavanagh’s case he never even wrote a good story in his life.

So of all those people only Paul Jenkins dislike of it wasn’t unjustified. But he was an outlier.

Every other writer either liked it, was neutral on it, disliked it for nonsensical reasons or didn’t know about good storytelling in the first place to make citing them worth a damn in the first place.

And aside from aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of this...does the author realize Peter and MJ’s relationship and MJ’s whole character doesn’t begin and end in the years they were married?

Like he talks about their marriage as though this being bad proves their relationship and her character is bad when there was 20+ years of MJ prior to that.

“I think Peter has had better love interests over the years, including Gwen Stacy. ”

And the author would be wrong.

Gwen Stacy is neither better nor more interesting that Mary Jane.

That’s why THEY KILLED HER!

“Part of that is giving Mary Jane something to do. She's been a model and an actress, but the books were always more concerned with the superheroics, so you never really got the chance to feel her drive there. She was a nightclub owner, but again, the same problem persisted. ”

Except Spider-Man stories ARE NOT MORE CONCERNED WITH THE SUPERHEROICS!

My God. How the fuck can someone have read any number of Spider-Man stories and not realized, oh yeah, the book is about Peter’s life over all and his normal life is as if not MORE important than whoever he is punching this month.

By this logic Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Flash Thompson and literally every supporting cast member who isn’t J. Jonah Jameson or like Ashley goddam Kafka, is a better supporting character than Mary Jane.

Mary jane doesn’t have to be involved in the superhero side of Peter’s life because the Spider-Man series isn’t about that. It’s about his life in general and sometimes one blurs over into the other but not always and frankly if you go by the classic stories not even most of the time.

That’s why on the occasions where such things did happen it was a big deal.

“Other than supporting Peter Parker, what did Mary Jane Watson really want? ”

To be an actress

To be taken seriously as more than a model

To support her sick cousin

To earn a psychology degree

To avoid commitment

“Sometimes she just wanted Peter to not be Spider-Man anymore, which is a downer of a conflict.”

This is another lie.

The ONLY times during which Mary jane didn’t want Peter to be Spider-Man were during the Clone Saga when she was pregnant, he’d retired and Ben Reilly was the new Spider-Man and new main character (meaning there was no issue there) or during the Mackie/Byrne reboot where she was being written deliberately out of character as an act of sabotage.

Unless the author meant like in specific stories where Peter was injured and she didn’t want him to go off and be Spider-Man at that moment or in that specific context, as opposed to wholesale retiring. At which point...how is this a downer conflict? It’s a starkly realistic and emotionally justified conflict in a series built off the back of realistic emotions because Spider-Man is a human drama and soap opera FFS!

“Sometimes, things are good... ...sometimes, they're not.

Go to the article itself and notice the second image the author uses.

If you’ve ever encountered similar lines of anti-MJ/anti-marriage argument before those panels, that artwork or stuff similar to it might strike you as familiar.

Why?

Because it’s from the exact same story. Maximum Carnage.

Every asshole who tries to make this argument uses Maximum Carnage, one of the worst Spider-Man stories over all to bolster their claims. The repetition of scenes from this story (and usually the same scene) is telling because it’s either cherry picking from a notoriously bad story and pretending like it represented a norm (and removes it from important context FYI) or...these people don’t know what they are talking about and just parrot one another with the same examples.

“Over in the Ultimate Comics line, writer Brian Michael Bendis would give Mary Jane a career choice that dovetails well with superheroes: journalist. See, the reason DC Comics' Lois Lane works is her driving motivation—to be the best investigative journalist in the world—puts her on a path to run into Clark Kent and Superman. ”

Yeah and the problem is that MJ worked as well for decades even when she wasn’t a journalist. Shit she worked for the majority of Ultimate Spider-Man’s run prior to her becoming a journalist!

Yeah, remember that tiny piece of vital information the author conveniently ignored. For MOST of Ultimate Spider-Man’s 10 year tenure with Peter Parker as the lead character Mary Jane wasn’t a journalist!

Shit, she worked for her school paper so the idea that it made her involvement in heroics more organic is pretty bullshit.

More importantly prior to her journalist job Ultimate MJ’s role and function within the narrative was strikingly similar to her 616 married counterpart!

“Her intense curiosity and lack of self-preservation makes her endearing; the audience knows what she wants and the lengths she'll go to get it.”

And MJ’s goofy deameanor at times, inner strength, sociable nature, insecutirs, struggles with guilt and commitment make her endearing.

“So Insomniac decided to take the Ultimate version of Mary Jane and play it up to Lois Lane levels. She's an investigative journalist at the Daily Bugle searching for more on the recently-arrested Wilson Fisk. Her own adventures put her on the path to meeting with Spider-Man. You get that moment where they're both asking, "What are you doing here?" and you realize there's old, unmentioned romantic history. MJ already knows Peter is Spider-Man and she's fine with that side of his life. ”

And it works great...in a video game setting where you truly are spending 90% of your time in the middle of action and the plot needs to be entirely in service of that plot.

But in the context of a comic book more about the normal lives of the characters than revolving around superheroics and starring the most famous character (who’s clad in red and blue) of one of the two biggest companies in the world MJ as a journalist would die on it’s ass because it WOULD just be derivative of Lois Lane.

I mean Jesus Christ people also deride Black Cat and Norman Osborn for being derivative of Catwoman and Norman Osborn even though they deviate in big ways. But if Spider-Man major love interest/wife literally also became an investigative journalist and primarily interacted with Spider-Man (at least within the context of the main plot) within that role it would literally just be Lois Lane.

“This Mary Jane's problem is one of equal partnership. She's a great, inventive journalist. Sure, she could die on an investigation, considering where she decides to focus her talent, but in her mind, that's no different from a police officer or firefighter dying in the line of duty. The truth is important. This flips the dynamic a bit; her problem is that Peter doesn't acknowledge that she's also right where she needs to be. She's his equal, even if she doesn't have fancy Spider-powers. ”

MJ was Peter’s equal in the comics too.

Being someone’s equal as a person doesn’t mean doing the same job as them, working in the same line of work or directly contributing to the superhero action.

You just need to be an equal in your personality and agency which in-universe MJ has had.

This is to say nothing of how by this logic Alfred, Batman’s FATHER FIGURE, is not his equal or how Ganke Lee in Miles Morales comics wouldn’t really be HIS equal either or how, again, Spider-Man stories do not innately codify the superheroics as MORE important than the normal life stuff.

“It's a great change.”

Yes it is, in the context of a video game.

“This Mary Jane is funny, a bit headstrong, and leaps sometimes before she looks. ”

You mean just like comic book Mary Jane.

“ Comic Mary Jane has many of these facets, but it's tough to get a grasp on what she really wants outside of Peter. ”

Unless you’ve literally read the issue immediately after Peter meets her where she makes it clear she wants to be an actress. Or read any comic in the interim where she wants to have financial security, be taken seriously, reconcile with her family, indulge in/get over her commitment issues, help her cousin, learn psychology, etc.

“Journalism doesn't have to be the answer, but there needs to be one that intersects with the lives of Peter and Spider-Man. ”

No there doesn’t. In the real world couples jobs don’t have to intersect. Many of Peter’s supporting cast members do not have jobs that intersect with his life outside of the fact that they are his friends and/or family. This is true of other heroes too.

MJ being Peter’s friend/girlfriend/wife is enough of a reason for her to intersect in his life and be featured in this stories, beyond that she can be given subplots of her own just like many other characters had.

Two of the best subplots in Spider-Man involved Flash Thompson. One of them was his and Betty Brant’s affair and the other was his struggles with alcoholism. These were problems that for the longest time Peter wasn’t even aware of but they were compelling and entertaining unto themselves because Flash was a great character and we cared because he was Peter’s friend. However these stories also at no point ever really involved Spider-Man’s life. It was strictly confined to the problems of Peter Parker’s world.

MJ’s job can be much the same.

MJ’s normalacy is in fact a MAJOR reason why so many fans love her so much and why so many people love Spider-Man himself.

Why make her more like Lois and her dynamic like that of Lois and Superman, those two characters who famously are awesome but also not as relatable as Spider-Man and MJ!

“With Insomniac's Mary Jane, everything just clicks into place.”

As would it for comic book MJ if you bothered to pay attention.

“The problem here is Marvel never sat down and explained how this worked. Again, Peter's death was the impetus for Miles becoming Spider-Man. In the Ultimate comics, he had the powers long before he actually put on the costume. Miles' creator Brian Michael Bendis never sat down and explained the new backstory before he jumped over to DC Comics. We don't know the specifics of why this version of Miles took up the mantle, the question of his motivations always remains a bit fuzzy.”

No it isn’t. Miles wasn’t REBOOTED into the 616 universe. He was integrated in with everyone’s memories altered around.

His backstory was the same as in the Ultimate Universe he just literally, physically migrated over.

Miles motivations were thus the same albeit undermined from a creative POV.

“When the title of Spider-Man was passed on in the Ultimate universe, that made sense. But the question the Prime universe needs to answer now is: Why do they share the title? ”

Because that was Miles’ chosen title and Peter gave his blessing for it and on a meta-level it is intended to represent how anyone can be Spider-Man.

“Peter has offered it to Miles, but why does this version of Miles want it in return?”

Because Ultimate Peter died and Miles wanted to honour him.

It isn’t the case of he just ALWAYS existed in this universe. You cannot time travel back like 15 years into the 616 Marvel universe and locate baby Miles Morales He literally, physically doesn’t exist there.

“That's really why these new versions of the characters work. I can see what they offer Peter and what he offers them in return. ”

Comic book MJ offered Peter a human connection, a friend, a confidant, someone to support him and companionship.

Why does she need to offer any more than that when in real life no one is hinging their deeper relationships upon the basis of what that person does for them in terms of their jobs or hobbies.

“And that facet is sometimes missing in the Marvel Comics iteration. ”

No it isn’t.

“I see what they offer Peter, but sometimes it's hard to see what they get out of the relationship.”

MJ gets a friend, companion, someone who understands and supports her, someone who helps emotionally fulfil her and make her a better person and sometimes someone who can help her in times of emotional and physical crises.

“Great artists steal, Marvel. The comic publisher is already bringing Insomniac's Spider-Man into the the universe with the upcoming Spider-Geddon crossover (shown below). Now it's time to steal certain facets of the storytelling for the universe. Marvel Comics is stuck with the millstone of continuity around its neck, but that doesn't mean there aren't new directions the company can move Spider-Man and his amazing friends toward. ”

Marvel has never rebooted it’s history since 1961.

DC has done so in varying ways 5 or 6 times.

Marvel outsells DC.

Of all iconic characters owned by DC, Batman’s history has altered the least from one reboot into the next.

Batman outsells every other DC character.

In the 1980s Marvel fans had no access to the internet, few information books or other resources and few reprints with which to catch up upon the 20-25 years worth of history for the characters and of the few resources they did have not everyone had access to them.

Marvel comics sold more physical copies back then than they do now.

The highest selling Marvel titles of the 1980s and 1990s were the X-Men related titles which had objectively the most complicated, convoluted and least accessible .

So STFU about too much continuity oh my God!

#Spider-Man #Spider-Man ps4 #Spider-Man Playstation 4 #Insomniac Spider-Man #insomniac games #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #mary jane watson parker #MJ Watson #Peter Parker

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thefilmjournal · 6 years

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Hereditary (2018)

Writer & Director: Ari Aster

Starring: Toni Collette, Alex Wolff, Milly Shapiro, Gabriel Byrne

Rating: R (horror violence, disturbing images, drug use, and brief graphic nudity)

I had been very much looking forward to seeing Hereditary. I like to call myself a fan of horror, though it seems almost rare for me to actually like one categorized as such. I’m a bit picky, and I think that’s a common thing within the genre--everyone having their own elements they look for in a ‘good’ horror movie.

I look for horror that will leave a psychological mark. I want something that makes me think about it well after I’ve walked out of the theater. Each A24 film I’ve seen so far has given me something to think about. Though those that I have in mind aren’t categorized as horror. Ex Machina is one that was thought-provoking for me. A more recent one, The Florida Project, and especially its ending, gave me something to think about. I thought if Hereditary could give me that, I would be satisfied.

Based on its trailer, Hereditary definitely seemed to fit the description of the type of horror film I look for. The miniatures, as well as the actress playing Toni Collette’s daughter, Milly Shapiro, were instantly interesting and attention-grabbing. The trailer also includes a great quote from Richard Lawson of Vanity Fair that really sold me: “An unsettling look at what demons we may have inherited from our parents.”

If you haven’t seen the trailer, you can check it out below!

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I was fortunate enough to be able to attend an advanced screening of Hereditary a couple of nights ago. I’d never been to one before, and you know what? They don’t show previews! Or, at least they didn’t that night. That was slightly uncomfortable for me. In any case, here’s what I’ll say before I get into some spoilers:

It got a good reaction out of me: my eyes would widen in shock and fear, my jaw dropped, and my hands glued themselves to my face for lengthy periods of time. I think it’s worth mentioning that some of the critics in the audience were vocal throughout. I gotta say, especially after watching the movie, that it was marketed very well. By the time the movie had finished, I was very taken aback by everything I had seen and was so affected even after I had already returned home from the theater. Hereditary doesn’t rely on cheap tricks the way tons of modern horror movies tend to do--it’s more bothersome and dark. So, I did not leave let down. While Toni Collette was incredible in the leading role and truly deserves an Oscar (I don’t say that lightly at all), I think we need to give more praise to Alex Wolff than he is currently receiving.

Spoilers beyond this point! Thanks for reading!

(Image from IMDb)

The Element of Surprise

Earlier when I said Hereditary was marketed very well, I meant that I expected the plot to go a certain way and it didn’t. Coming into the screening, I assumed that because we were shown a clip in the trailer of Charlie cutting a bird’s head off with scissors, we would follow a story about a disturbed child. Presumably, this behavior would be something you could trace back to Toni Collette’s character or her mother, or both of them--something hereditary! I predicted we would maybe see Charlie go on a killing spree, even if it was more animals.

The fact that Charlie dies so early on came as a huge shock. You’re set up to consider her a main focus of the movie and instead, she is brutally decapitated. And actually, the movie still revolves around her character. She just isn’t the focus the way most people would expect, which was not only surprising but refreshing.

While there is plenty of disturbing content within the storyline, one of the more unsettling things the movie does for the viewer experience is kill the expectations the audience came in with. After Charlie’s death, I found that I was uncomfortable not knowing what to expect. Throughout the movie I would make guesses as to what would happen next or what something meant, and after enough wrong guesses, I had to surrender. There are plenty of horror movies that seem to follow a formula. So, eventually, you come to have certain expectations when watching them. Here, you become as unaware as the Graham family, and that’s truly the most frightening thing of all: the unknown.

(Image from Google)

Fear of the Dark

We can’t see as well in the dark and even if we know what’s usually there, things can begin to take on another form and our imaginations roll with it. For myself, I’ll see a pile of clothing or my backpack in the dark and my mind will tend to morphe those things into a human-like figure. I'll sometimes anticipate that happening as I lay down for bed and not want to look into my bathroom or at the hallway because I am afraid of even imagining a figure standing there. Hereditary includes a scene involving that scenario. It takes place in Peter’s bedroom, playing on a fear a lot of us share: seeing something or someone that isn’t supposed to be there.

I think we can all agree that darkness tends to be a necessary element to include in a horror movie. It is tailored nicely into this storyline and expands on that notion of fear of the unknown. Annie sleepwalks, and evidently, according to one of her miniatures, so did Annie’s recently deceased mother. We are given the information that Annie has almost killed herself and her children while in that state. Knowing that history leaves holding your breath during all subsequent sleepwalking scenes. And, of course, we have the seance scenes that give us more scary time in the dark.

While darkness is a tool used to make the film scarier, it did not feel forced in its use here nor did it come across as an obvious device. Something that horror movies like to do, in reference to that second point, is give us jump scares that end up being false alarms. Just when you think the story and action will progress, the scare ends up being some goofy friend or an animal in a bush.

(Image from Google)

The Use of Color

I read an article recently that pointed out the use of the color red in a shot. It said that red was meant to indicate danger to the audience. It seems obvious, but it was not something I necessarily paid attention to in the past. Having just learned this, I made sure to look for red in the movie.

I noticed that most, if not all, of the examples given in the article signaled immediate danger. I cannot recall the exact examples given, but a similar one I noticed today was in The Force Awakens when Kylo Ren kills Han Solo. The main source of red in Hereditary came from the heaters inside of the tree house. Naturally, I expected that something would happen to Annie while she slept in there or that something sinister would manifest itself. Red in this case was not signaling an immediate danger but was hinting at the evil that would take place there at the end.

The heats display orange twice. Once in the beginning when we know Charlie is inside the tree house and once at the end. During the end scene, people are in the tree house ready to receive Charlie who is now, or has just found out she is, King Paimon. Although the orange color was a result of candlelight that time around, I am inclined to believe that because the ceremony was being held in her honor, the choice to have Charlie wear an orange hoodie while she was alive was purposeful. In West Side Story, as an example, the gangs are assigned a color or color palettes. Charlie’s been assigned orange. Using the orange in the tree house at the end signaled Charlie’s return.

Like I said, I can be picky with horror. There are not a whole lot of recent horror films I am into, they are mostly from the ‘60s and ‘70s. Hereditary, however, is one I am eager to see again. I am hearing a lot of praise for the score, and I usually pay close attention to scores, but I must admit that for this, I was so wrapped up in what was going on that I can’t remember what the music must have sounded like, I was that hooked.

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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INTERVIEW: Open Mike Eagle Talks About Anime, Hip Hop, and Mental Health

In celebration of Black History Month, Crunchyroll is releasing interviews with prominent Black figures across the anime world! Stay tuned for more announced features, or donate to Black Girls Code, which educates young girls of color to encourage careers in computer science and technology!

As anime fandom has grown in the US, more and more celebrities and high profile artists have become open about their connection with the medium. Hip hop artist Open Mike Eagle has taken it a step further and made anime the central through line in his newest album. I had the pleasure of speaking with Mike over a Zoom call last October about the album, the anime that it references, and the importance of taking your mental health seriously. Here's that interview.

Content Warning: This article contains frank discussions of mental health. We have included a list of mental health resources at the end of this article. Never be afraid to ask for help. We're all in this together.

Crunchyroll: All right, so for any of our readers on Crunchyroll News who aren’t familiar with you or your work, could you just give us a brief introduction?

Open Mike Eagle: I’m Open Mike Eagle, I’m known primarily for being a rapper in the independent sphere. Also known for being kinda comedy adjacent, had a couple shows on TV. Uh … I don’t know what else to say.

I think that’s perfect.

Okay, good! Fantastic.

I listened to Anime Trauma and Divorce. It’s really something. I wanted to ask about how it got started. Did you come up with a fully formed idea for the album first, or did it just sort of organically come together as you were writing songs?

I was originally going to make an album about the magical link between anime and Black people in America, but in the midst of that process, life kinda happened to me. A lot. So I started writing about what was going on with me and ended up using anime as a coping mechanism, in a certain sense. And while I was exploring the stuff I was going through, the album started becoming more about me and my therapy journey.

That’s super interesting because it feels so intentional all the way through, so it really does feel like a concept album. But that is an interesting point. I do think hip hop has been in conversation with anime for like, forever. I think Lupe Fiasco’s Lupin the Third line (from his verse in Kanye West’s “Touch the Sky” -ed.) was the first time I had ever heard Lupin the Third mentioned outside of Adult Swim.

I knew about Lupin the Third beforehand, and I was shocked to hear that line!

What do you think it is about anime that really speaks to hip hop artists as well as marginalized people?

I think it’s a power fantasy. I think that when you’re in situations that feel dire or circumstances that feel high pressure — bleak — it can be inspiring to see characters that often come from equally negative circumstances finding the power within to overcome. And feel like that’s what people end up connecting to. 'Cause I really don’t know, I really ... I’m fascinated by the question, but I don’t quite know the answer yet.

Yeah, I mean I’m sure there’s like a degree of it’s different for each person, but I really think you’re hitting on something there with ... there’s so many of these Shonen Jump protagonists who come from just broken, broken lives, but they’re able to find family and succeed. It really is empowering in a lot of ways.

I know that power fantasies are something you talk about a lot in the album, especially on “I’m a Jostar.” But so much of the album is so rooted in reality and confronting things. It’s not about escapism. What do you think the link is between like escapism and power fantasy and drawing strength in order to confront the very real things that people are going through?

I think that it’s a reflection of my coping mechanisms which are increasingly based on trying to use tools based in therapy to just be able to sit with stuff and deal with it. I come from a lifetime of dissociation, so I think there’s a place on the album where I’m sitting. I’m sitting, and I’m very uncomfortable, and I’m trying to make healthy choices, but that becomes very overwhelming for me at times, because it’s very difficult, it’s very challenging. So I find myself hungering for the sort of escape that dissociation can provide. And in a way, that is kind of a comfort to me. And I find myself at a couple of places on the record, trying to invoke that.

Totally. Very different circumstances, but I, as a trans person, also come from a lot of dissociation, and anime’s really helped me build that space between the pain and where you are right now, and it gives you enough space to exist and not feel really bad for a minute, so I totally feel that.

Yeah, exactly that. The space to just exist for a second and not feel the weight of all the things that you’re trying to push through.

I know you’ve described this album as recounting, in large part, the worst year of your life, and I imagine there must’ve been a lot of personal catharsis from writing these songs. Is there something specific or special about rap that makes it suited to addressing pain and trauma?

I do think that is inherent in the form, I think it’s underutilized that way, though. I think that the well-worn uses of it are for a kind of escapism. And in a sense, I had spent my career doing that, too, in a different way. Not in an escapism toward materialism or consumption; my escapism had always been using rap as a tool to “hold a mirror up to society” and like, you know, social commentary and that sort of thing. So I had to be reminded by my therapist that I have an outlet. A real, fully formed and developed outlet to deal with a difficult moment in my own life. That I have a vehicle. And a lot of people don’t. So she was trying to encourage me to use it, and in a sense, I found that space in hip hop to sit with it and it was new for me, too, even though I’ve always been a supporter of that kind of thing, I’ve never really done it myself.

That's super interesting to me. I think it sometimes feels like confessional art is restricted to white, well-to-do creators. There's this sense that the only people who are allowed the space for that are creators who are already privileged enough to afford therapists and already feel okay taking up that space publicly.

Yeah, I mean, putting out this project in the middle of a global pandemic, I’ve been challenged on that level, internally. I would think, “Is this the time to put out an album talking so directly about me and my stuff?” For me, the pressure wasn't about feeling like I didn't have the space — because my whole career has been about being confident that I can use a space to rap about whatever I feel like. My only boundary when it comes to the content I put out is that I never want to harm anybody else or denigrate anyone else. Beyond that, anything is permissible. It was never about feeling restricted for me, it was just about giving myself the permission to actually cross that line.

I've tended to not like rap music that feels too personal. When I hear someone confess something in a rap song, I have the thought, "I don't feel like I should know about this. This sounds like something between you and this other person." Like when songs are explicitly about someone's dad or their ex. It feels like something I shouldn't be able to listen in on. When I encounter that in rap music, it's sort of off-putting to me, in that sense. But I feel like that's just a reflection of my own level of discomfort with vulnerability. That's something I've had to sit with — and I'm still sitting with — through the course of putting out this album, too.

For what it’s worth, I think there is a masterful balance between being honest and confessional and being relatable and universal. I think there are a lot of people who are going to listen to this album and see themselves through it. It seems like when creating confessional art, there are these competing needs to be honest and vulnerable but also to be meaningful to your audience.

Yeah, I totally feel that. the interesting part about that for me as a writer is that I can never allow myself to think about that too much as I'm writing. I've learned that you can never predict who you're going to reach. You can never predict how people are going to interpret what you say and how it will resonate with them. You can never control it. When I've tried to in the past, I found it got in the way of my process because I was trying to quantify something you can never know ahead of time. I have to shut that train of thought down completely. I have to make the content that resonates with me, and it will always end up resonating with other people in ways I could never predict.

That's such an interesting insight. I dunno, I feel like if I was creating art like this, I would get so caught up in my own head about things like, "Is this going too far? Am I not going far enough?" I think you really nailed it.

Thank you, but I experienced that too. I have a history of having that sort of internal argument over whether I've gone too far or not far enough. Typically, what I've done in the past is if I thought a song was too much, I'd take it off of my album before it came out. But since this album was serving a specific therapeutic service for me, I couldn't do that. I had to move that line of what I felt was appropriate for public consumption. I had to pull it way closer in one direction, to the point where I felt like I was really putting everything out there. But then when I was listening to the demos, I got to one song where I realized, "Oh, this is ... this isn't even a song! This is literally just me saying that I feel bad in different ways, over and over again." I ended up rewriting that song. I certainly had to adjust my process going into this album. I had to really think about what constituted "too much."

Did the bones of that discarded song make it into any of the other ones that are on the album?

I'd have to go back and give it a real thorough listen. As soon as I heard it come on, I got this really bad feeling, so I just went to something else. I remember that exact day, y'know? I was glad I didn't put it out. If you're saying that the album has a certain kind of balance, that would've tipped the scale! (laughs) That song may have tipped the scales, so I'm glad it didn't make it out into the world.

It’s really cool that things can make themselves clear like that when you’re in the revising stage.

Yeah, and what that reflects for me is my learning to trust my instincts. I've learned through the course of putting out multiple albums that, when I hear something back, there's always this little voice saying, "This is really good. Keep working on it," or, "This is not that good, try something else." Sometimes the voice is really quiet, sometimes it's really loud. I've learned to be in tune with it, even when it's really quiet. If I ignore it, I end up with something on my album that irritates me beyond belief. At that point, the voice gets too loud about that particular thing and there's nothing I can do about it.

That makes total sense to me. I noticed when I was looking at the album cover of Anime Trauma and Divorce there's a little bit of kanji on the side. It says 壊れた (kowareta), or "broken." Was that something you asked to be put on there? Because it's perfect.

No, and I’m very afraid of messing stuff like that up. My graphic designer had to assure me that it said whatever he said it said, because that type of thing really frightens me deeply. So far I haven’t been told that it means something insane yet, so I still feel pretty okay about it.

Well, I asked a fluent Japanese speaker what it meant, and they said “Oh, it means 'broken.’” So hopefully we’re doing good.

That is appropriate. I didn’t want it to be like, “I love doughnuts,” or something. I was just very afraid, because I have no orientation in the language at all.

I understand that fear. That’s why I’m never going to get a tattoo of anything in a language that I don’t speak. There’s just that sense of like “I don’t know …”

It happens to people, you know? People permanently get some terrible message on them.

Yeah, like I don’t want to get like “I’m a little peepee boy,” tattooed on my arm, or–

RIGHT? Cause you’re NOT a little peepee boy! Y’know?

Thank you! Neither are you!

We’re not peepee boys.

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We don't want society to give us that label. Well, I wanted to get into a few of the specific songs. I think “Headass” is really, really striking. It’s like this embrace of your own flaws, in a way. And I wanted to hear about the connection between the song’s subject matter and Shinji from Evangelion, who’s referenced.

Um, yeah man. “Headass” is about living in your head and that’s something that I have been guilty of for a lot of my life and it manifests itself in my life in different ways. I didn’t get a chance to watch Evangelion until it came out on Netflix, and he just struck me as the ultimate headass. I saw so much of myself in him and how he goes about life and yeah, I felt like he’s a great mascot for the headass.

Yeah, I’m so interested in the anime that get drawn up in this album. Because you have these things like Jojo’s, which takes place in a super heightened, crazy reality, but then you also have Evangelion which is like … that’s not escapist at all. It's taking your dreams of being in a robot and turning them into like horrible realistic psychological trauma nightmare.

And I would say that the trauma in his life caused his own version of escapism and he kinda paints the world we see through that lens. So I think in some way I think that those are like, Evangelion on one side, Jojo's on the other side, those are kinda the two different side of the escapist coin.

Man, I never would’ve thought of that connection. But yeah, I think Evangelion’s just sort of the perfect thing to bring up in an album about so much pain and trauma.

Absolutely. Ultimate trauma anime.

via Netflix

Seriously. It’s super interesting to me, too, that you brought up Shinji as someone you could relate to. I know that back in the '90s when it first came overseas and people were watching it on VHS tapes, there were all these guys who were like, “The show would be perfect if Shinji wasn’t in it.”

[laughs] That is hilarious. I mean, well to me, I would say that’s a bunch of people who don’t get it. But also, it’s art, so people can interpret it however they see fit.

Well, I think more than a fair few of them probably saw a little bit too much of themselves in Shinji to be comfortable with. Cause I don’t know, I think Shinji’s relatable to everyone.

I do, too! I mean, to me the show is Shinji. But I was one of the people who was perfectly satisfied with the end of the original show and didn’t need the movie, because to me what that end showed was like, “Oh, Shinji’s unprocessed trauma is pretty much creating this entire world. This is how he sees things, this is how he frames everything, because of all the stuff he’s been through that he hasn’t dealt with.” So when he starts to deal with it, then suddenly we can be transported into a world where he sees these relationships in a more normal way, a more even-handed way. And to me, that’s the key to the show, so I didn’t need resolution of the fighting robots, I didn’t need that, cause to me the resolution was Shinji learning to see the world differently.

That’s exactly what it was. And I think that going back to the song, Shinji’s so perfect to bring up here because, I mean it’s that old therapy adage that you can’t start to fix all of your problems until you can love yourself, or at least be okay with yourself. And when you’re in a really dark place or you have a lot of unprocessed stuff, feeling like you need to love myself can feel like you’re being headass. But you can’t stop being headass until you learn to love yourself.

Yeah, it’s rough. I mean, you can be, when you live in your head there’s a lot of reasons not to stop doing that. There’s a lot of fear and trepidation in allowing your consciousness to inhabit your entire body. It’s easier to feel protected by staying up here and overthinking everything and not doing anything and analysis paralysis and that sort of thing.

To quote Shinji: “I wanna run away.”

Yep. 'Cause it’s easy to do that, y’know?

It is.

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So I have to talk about “Everything Ends Last Year.” It was so, so sad, but so beautiful. And it comes at sort of like the midpoint of the album and it feels like this nexus point that everything else circles around.

Sure, 100 percent.

There’s this line you say, and everyone’s been writing about it, “it’s October and I’m tired,” and I saw that you wrote that literally a YEAR ago, in 2019. And it just feels like the gravity of that line was so real in 2019 that it just echoed into this year and it’s more relevant than ever.

I mean yeah. If I thought I was tired last year, you know what I’m saying [chuckles]. I couldn’t’ve imagined the world we’d be in, a year later. Where I wrote that line, it’s very personal to me, and how I was feeling, and we’ve now entered a world where that is the most relatable and accessible line probably on the entire project.

Definitely. “Everything Ends Last Year” is so sparse compared to everything else, and I think there’s a lot that people can infer from that. But I wanted to hear from you about the choice to make that a way more low key, way more empty-sounding track.

I think for me, I don’t think about it as empty, I think about it as playing with emptiness and fullness. Because I think that it keeps starting and stopping in different ways, and to me, that’s a reflection of the content of the song. Like each verse is about things that are starting and developing, and then they kinda end suddenly, and the toll that that’s taking on me, psychologically, all these stops and starts. And so each time the arrangement kinda gets differently lush, one time its drums, another time it’s a big horn arrangement, I think there’s a bass that comes in at one point, but every time it completely ends and then starts over again.

For sure. So is it really important for you for the production, like the form of the song, to match what the content is, lyrically?

To me, that’s when things are at their strongest, but y’know you’re not always able to create that synergy. But when it’s available I love to make something that works both of those ways.

Yeah, I hadn’t considered the start and stop nature of the song, but that really does reflect the lyrics.

So, “I’m a Jostar” f--king rules. It is so celebratory and cool and like you start the song by saying … I’m trying to remember the line, it was something like “don’t take this away from me.” And then it becomes this like, you are a part of this lineage of hyper-powerful dudes, and I wanted to hear like what about the mythology of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, why did you want to choose that one for this song?

I think the mechanism in Jojo's that each chapter has a different protagonist, that’s so different from shonen anime where it’s usually about one character getting stronger over time. And it took me a lot of getting used to when that second chapter started. I was like, “Wait, what? Now we have Joseph, who’s this little rude guy? I don’t know if I like him, I really liked Jonathan.” It threw me for a loop at first. But then over the course of the chapters of following him I was like, “Oh, what this gives me, psychologically, is the room to genuinely put myself in the show as a protagonist. Let’s say Chapter 39. THAT could be me.” you know what I’m saying? Like I could be in the story, the show can be about me in a way that you couldn’t say that about a Dragon Ball or a Bleach or a Demon Slayer, cause those are about following one character, where this is about — it’s kinda loosely about a family, but really it’s about just whatever personality type Araki wants us to root for in that season.

That is so cool. There really is this huge amount of possibility in the world of Jojo’s, it can literally just be about anyone. I also saw that you called it a "prayer song" on Twitter, and that is a pretty amazing term.

Yeah, I have a category of songs on my catalogue that are like invocations, and that’s one. It’s just trying to invite a certain sense of empowerment. And I’ve done that song on stage a few times, and it just feels like a powerful ... like a power stance to take while I’m performing. So yeah, that’s like one of my incantations to try and invite power. And it’s not like a literal thing so much as an energetic thing.

For sure, yeah. I think there’s something really powerful about, in this song, in particular, aligning yourself with this lineage of amazing, strong, powerful, beautiful people. And yeah like, you do belong there. Just as much as everyone else.

Im a Joestar can sound like a shallow song but it really comes from a deep need to find an external source of strength. its one of my prayer songs like 'celebrity reduction' or 'neighborhood protection' produced by @Thefrankleone

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 18, 2020

I know talking candidly about mental health is really tough, and you tackled that stuff super directly here. During a really tough time in my life, I listened to your episode of The Hilarious World of Depression, actually.

Ah, John Moe.

Yeah, that podcast has gotten me through a lot. But I wanted to ask how important is it for you to talk really openly about mental health stuff and what importance do you think it has?

I think it’s important to talk about … to talk about the fact that, from my opinion, this is a fact that it’s almost impossible to deal with mental health challenges on your own. I feel like a lot of us do self-soothing, self-medication, all types of potentially harmful dissociation, compartmentalization, and I’m guilty of all of those things. And those are the things that stuff bad feelings temporarily, but they don’t address core issues of anything. And I feel like that’s a lot of us trying to deal with pain but without any real tools for it. And so I think the important thing to talk about is that if one feels like they’re in a bad spot, that it’s like really, really, really important to try to get some assistance. And of course, that can be restrictive based on income, based on access to resources, based on all sorts of very real stuff, but sometimes that can be just reaching out to a friend, it could be a school counselor, it could be a relative if there’s a safe relationship there, just encouraging people not to attempt to always try to go it alone. That, to me, is the important part to say out loud. Everything else is personal and private, but that part, it’s one of the closest things to a universal fact that I can really stand on. That it’s incredibly difficult to try to go it alone.

Yeah. Thank you for saying that, I think it’s really important to get that message out to people, especially right now. So I only have like one more thing to ask — if you had one thing to say to black anime fans, marginalized anime fans, any anime fans who feel like they don’t belong, what would it be?

Man, f--k what they think. That’s what I’d say. 'Cause I guarantee whatever it is that you are connecting with in the work, in the art, the creators want you to have that. They put it out there for everybody, not just a certain kind of person. So if it’s doing something for you, embrace it, hold on to it, claim it, and don’t let nobody tell you you can’t have it.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, here is a list of resources that may help:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line: Text "HELLO" to 741741

The Health Resources and Services Administration may be able to connect you to mental health resources.

By: Cayla Coats

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