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moregraceful · 19 days

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☕️ about jamie drysdale and that baseball player. let's go back to that because i did not leave!!!!

i told myself to take a break from linkedin this weekend bc it was turning me into the joker but now it's sunday night and i have nothing to spiral over so we're going to spiral over jamie drysdale and bryce harper instead

there is lore about these two that m @pindergarten and I have discussed at length but much of it is buried under five million messages about a's prospects and trea turner's hot milf winter, but i will do my best to summarize. also i will try to make it easily understandable if you are not lost in the sauce (baseball):

first of all what you need to know is bryce harper is like deeply mormon guy who needs to Get Right with himself, hotheaded, prone to incredibly stupid outbursts and altercations on the field, clearly has some internal issues that need to get addressed, loves the boys, a huge superstar. and this makes many people understandably very angry. baseballblr has correctly assigned him "closeted gay who needs to get his head right with some gay sex" and m pindergarten and i assigned him "closeted gay who needs a deeply cringe hook-up with a way younger hockey player" bc bro was out here telling the entire world he reads hockey romance novels

obviously meets jamie d at some random south philadelphia sports complex. immediately down so cringe that trea turner (his teammate red thread of fate) blocks his number before the event even ends. jamie's like wow 😳 this tall guy is really cool and hot 😳 no jamie, he is neither

before the cam york couch reveal i truly believed joelbee would be hosting jamie in his basement and maybe in this sexy imagine he does bc i think it's really funny if joelbee hosts a rager and bryce rolls up, millions of dollars worth of baseball money, and is like, oh gosh, i am really about to walk into a house party unironically blasting that one david guetta/bebe rexha song at a volume that causes hearing damage. and obviously DOES and jamie is thrilled to see him and they have a really gross awesome hook-up in joelbee's baseball and then bryce gets scared and has to call trea for a ride home. jamie is like wow 🤩 he's so hot 🤩

in my head jamie is down normal bad, not catastrophic, but normal puppydog omg a hot older guy is paying attention to me and his dick is huge type of way. but like in a clueless way where he is just Living His Best Life in philly now that he's been freed from california cost of living. cam york can rap all of "super bass" if he gets drunk enough. philly is soooo sick and his tall hot baseball hook-up is sooo cool. trevor who.

and like joelbee is the only who knows about them hooking up and he's sooo chill except he keeps playing "stacy's mom" when bryce comes over but it's whatever. and BRYCE can read that, and it kills him so bad, but like...jamie comes over to his house in uhhh center city and just looks shell-shocked by how clean it is and how nice bryce's stuff is and that freaks bryce out bc it's not like jamie is poor by any standard, but the difference between $2.3m per year as a 21yo and $26m per year on $330m contract + endorsements as a 31yo is kind of a lot and that reminds bryce of how much older he is and that scares HIM very badly. so they end up at joelbee's house a lot and bryce just puts up with stacy's mom

one time joelbee mixes it up with stacy's dad and bryce loses like, years of his life. has to call trea to ask him to pick him up

they go on some deeply cringe dates around philly to like instagrammable spots that bryce thinks are so cultured but jamie is just happy to be there and hanging out. weirdly uncomplicated and gorgeous relationship for jamie. deeply destablizing for bryce but in a good way

the ending remains 2 be seen!! i personally wish jamie a long and happy career in philly bc he looks soooo much happier and more confident away from disneyland. i assume him and bryce kind of fade after a while and he breaks it off with zero hard feelings on bryce's part, but not for a couple years at least bc bryce has decades of repressed homosexuality to get out of his system before he lands with. trea long term lmao. who is to be clear also having some insane background trainwreck relationships but he thinks he's better than bryce bc at least HE knew he was gay the whole time.

#unfortunately at the end of the day i think i've landed on bryce/trea endgame but that DOES NOT MEAN jamie is not important!!#he's very important!! he's the spark that lights the fire that burns down a forest of a lifetime of repressed loathing and fear!!!#let's have another toast to the girl almighty!!! let's pray we stay young stay made of lightning!!!!!#someday i'll write it forreal but until then i stand in the shadows of phillies fans holding this entire operation (baseball rpf) together #bro i made a huge to-do list of things i need to get done for reasons and then went man this SUCKS. so now i'm not doing that #my mom taught me how to make dolma tonight and it was really good but we didn't have yogurt for tziki so she made it with sour cream #and now i'm out here like what if i just ate a bowl of rice with sour cream tziki #that shit was really good #cage replies #plaintoast #bryce/jamie #<- look. new tag

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keicordelle · 20 days

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Things are starting to get just a little bit spicy up in here! (Don't worry, they're going nowhere fast, we've got at least another 6 chapters of fluff and fretting before the two of them get their act together enough to do anything more than kiss and blush.) Chapter 14 of A First for Everything, Off the Beaten Path, is up on Ao3!

Read it on Ao3 at the link above, or check out the first chapter on Tumblr here.

The light filtering through the windows made for a dappled display against the map spread out over the coffee table. Shadowy spots danced over the carefully marked routes and hideaways. It might have been distracting, had Thancred actually been studying the map as closely as he pretended.

Instead, his eyes drifted sightlessly over the patterns, his own cramped handwriting blurring into illegible blotches. Worry gnawed at his stomach and clattered like pixie wings through his skull. This was a really bad idea, wasn't it? The longer he thought about it, the more certain he became that this was one of the worse ideas he’d had in recent memory. He’d agreed to it in the moment in part because, well, he would probably agree to just about anything Urianger asked of him at the moment. And in part because he was worried that if he said no, Urianger would just make the trip himself. Which...

He would be fine, probably. Almost certainly. He'd clearly traveled here on his own, and he wasn't some damsel in need of constant protection. He could take care of himself when he needed to. Thancred had been impressed recently, watching how adept Urianger had become at his divining magicks. But if something were to happen to him when Thancred had just stayed back and let him go off on his own, he'd never forgive himself.

But... Maybe it wasn't the best idea to bring Minfilia back into Eulmore's reach. Not when they'd just lost their trail. They’d fought so hard to get away from them. If they were to draw their attention again, it would mean returning to life on the run, dodging scouts and armed soldiers on scant hours of sleep.

...It would mean having to leave behind the comfortable routine they'd established here. Leave behind the soft blankets and the real food and the solid roof over their heads. Leave behind Urianger. And.... Thancred didn't want to leave.

Hells. He dragged a hand harshly through his hair, and when that wasn't enough, down over his face, lips catching on the rough drag of callouses. They were going to have to leave eventually. That was always the plan. They couldn't stay here indefinitely, no matter how comfortable it had grown to be. It wasn't fair to Urianger to impose so long on his kindness, and it wouldn't help Minfilia. Thancred was supposed to be training her, helping her become something more, not relaxing in the fae lands with his new— his new.... Arg. His friend. Urianger. Who he happened to kiss. A lot. And think about constantly. And spill himself almost nightly to the thought of. Gods this was dangerous. And stupid. Maybe he really should just leave.

Soft footsteps and the shush of robes around slender ankles drew his head up like a dog who smelled a treat. Urianger's eyes landed on him, golden and kind. He paused, head tilted in that familiar way that used to simply mean "elezen" but now just screamed "Urianger." "Is aught amiss?" Urianger asked.

And suddenly, miraculously, nothing was. The familiar melody of his voice washed away all of Thancred’s troubles in an instant, and suddenly everything felt right — and that in and of itself was wrong. Urianger shouldn't be able to do that to him, to make everything feel better just by walking into the damned room. Nothing should be able to distract him as much as Urianger did.

Thancred merely shook his head, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. "No, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache," he assured him.

Urianger looked as if he wasn't entirely convinced, but he didn't push. Instead, he brushed his fingers against through Thancred’s bangs as he passed, glancing furtively both ways before stooping to press a quick kiss into his brow. Pink tinted his ears as he pulled back, turning quickly away to return his attention to his task.

Thancred watched him as he moved about the room, gathering the things he thought he would need for their trip, lost in his own world as he contemplated two different canisters of tea leaves. Slowly, the worry crept back in to gnaw at Thancred’s thoughts, the small smile Urianger’s kiss had raised to his lips slipping away. He really, really didn't want to give this up, but... If he brought Eulmore's forces down on Urianger’s head because he was too selfish to leave, he would never forgive himself.

"Urianger?"

"Mm?" he answered without looking up, distraction blanketing his tone as he set one jar back on the shelf.

"I've been thinking... Maybe I should leave. Once we're done at the Crystarium. Maybe it's time that Minfilia and I go our own way."

There was a clatter as the tea hit the floor. Urianger didn't even try to pick it up as he turned to Thancred, his face contorting as he struggled to hide the distress that so clearly painted itself across his features. His mouth opened and closed, once, twice, soundlessly. Then, quietly: "I... would prefer if thou didst not. I... I wish thee to stay. Here. With me. Just for a short while longer?"

Watching the shadows that flitted within his aureate eyes, Thancred could have kicked himself for even suggesting it. He felt rather like he'd just punched a puppy, his heart aching in his chest in a way he'd never felt before. He fought the urge to grip it, to reassure himself that the sensation was all in his head. "If something happens though while we're out, we won't have a choice. I won't risk bringing Eulmore's forces to your door." Never mind the fact that a handful of moons ago, he'd been all too willing to take that risk. Desperate for somewhere to stay and someone to turn to.

Across from him, Urianger swallowed hard, feeling the lump in his throat all the way down to where it settled like a stone in his stomach. He'd known that Thancred would have to leave eventually. That was always his plan. That he'd stayed even this long was nothing short of a miracle. But... Urianger had grown greedy. Avarice clutched at him like a dragon's claws. Demanding. Desirous. He wasn't ready to give up the tentative intimacy that bloomed between them. He wanted to spend more time at Thancred’s side. "Perhaps I could simply come with you, if that is the case. Thou couldst use a healer to assure thy safety."

"No!" Thancred barked, a little too quickly. A little too vehemently. The tentative hope that had begun to unfurl beneath Urianger’s breast withered. He couldn’t supress the expression that twisted his features before it broke across his face, hurt welling in his chest.

Thancred flinched, back pedalling. "It would be too dangerous, to have so many of us in once place. Better to have allies tucked away than to travel together. For now, at least. Besides, your research is too important to give up, and you could hardly do that on the road. That's the whole reason we're taking this risk in the first place."

Urianger’s teeth worried at the inside of his cheek, eyes falling from Thancred’s face. Much as he would have liked to, he couldn't argue with that.

Thancred softened, casting a glance over his shoulder to ensure they were alone before he held out a hand to Urianger. "Come here."

An offer Urianger could never resist. He went to him in a shush of robes, the tea cannister abandoned on the floor behind him. Thancred's hand closed around his, drawing him down into an embrace. His arms were gentle around him, a quiet strength in his fingers as they stroked along the exposed skin of Urianger’s back. Chains tinkled as he caressed upwards, over Urianger’s shoulder to rest his palm against his cheek, cupping his face tenderly. Thancred’s thumb brushed out across his jaw, the warmth in his eyes mirrored by the warmth of his body, seeping into Urianger’s skin where Thancred’s leg pressed tight against his.

Thaliak preserve him, he was practically sitting in Thancred’s lap, tugged down onto him when he'd drawn him into his arms. This close, Urianger could see every fleck of green and gold in Thancred’s eyes. Could feel the brush of his breath against his lips. The hard lines of his body beneath him, soft skin and dense muscle and warmth, so much warmth. Urianger’s pulse quickened, his heart racing beneath his breast as heat spilled through his cheeks and out along his ears. Surely Thancred would be able to feel it, thundering against his chest. Urianger’s eyes dipped to his lips, plump and inviting before him.

He couldn't say who leaned in first. They met somewhere in the middle, Thancred’s lips ghosting against his in the softest of kisses, sweet and chaste. A gentle brush, then another. Just a pressing of lips, nothing more.

He could say for certain that Thancred was the one who deepened the kiss. Lips parting and tongue sweeping out to tease at the seam of Urianger’s mouth in a silent request. He opened for him, as readily as he always did, allowing Thancred in to taste him. Thancred’s tongue slid along his, curling along his lips, his teeth. Urianger’s head tilted to allow him in deeper, mouth moving on Thancred’s as his hands rose to tangle in his hair, holding him to himself.

Urianger could also say for certain that he was the one who pushed for more. Gentle brushes became more heated, the thrum of Thancred’s pulse echoing through Urianger’s chest as he pressed closer, pushing forward against him until his back pressed into the cushions, Urianger’s knees framing his hips and their bodies pressed flush. He could feel the heat of Thancred’s skin bleeding through their clothes, could feel the way he shifted against him. Could feel the hard dig of something against his stomach, pressed tight against his naval. Was that his—?

Blood rushed to Urianger’s face, fluster making his tongue clumsy against Thancred's.

Yes, that was definitely what he thought it was, digging into his stomach. It wasn't the first time he'd felt it when they kissed, but it wasn't usually so close. Usually Thancred played it off, or he shifted his hips so Urianger didn't have to feel it, but this... It was... curious. Intriguing.

Urianger’s own body stirred in response, thoughts swimming from the depths of his passion-addled brain. Thoughts of what lay beneath the tight grip of those trousers. Thoughts of what it might looked like — what Thancred might look like, with his jacket and his pants decorating the floor rather than his body. How it might feel to press his bare skin against Thancred’s, to feel those hands on him as Urianger kissed him. To... Touch him? No— That was— He couldn't—

Urianger drew back, his tongue a leaden weight in his mouth and his ears burning hot enough to melt snow. Where on earth had those thoughts come from? His eyes dropped, away from Thancred’s face and down to focus on the sculpted lines of his stomach. And yet, despite himself, his gaze was drawn inexorably downwards to the catch on Thancred's groin. Not, of course, because he was picturing what lay beneath the cover of cloth and leather. He simple could not bear to look Thancred in the face while his own body raged with a slithering heat that coiled and gathered beneath his robes. Urianger’s pulse throbbed between his legs, distracting and insistent, and his fingers twisted in the fabric of his robes. Please no. Calm down. Go away!

Thancred followed Urianger’s gaze down to his own lap. Surprise jolted through him, redness spilling bright up his ears as his eyes darted back up to Urianger’s face. "Shit, Urianger. I'm sorry, it just— it just happens, you know. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I— please don't run away."

It had been a consideration. He forced himself to stay, despite the antsy twitch of his legs. How could Urianger express to him that it wasn't Thancred that made him wish to flee? It was a natural response, full well did he know that. He was not unimmune himself to the natural course of biology; he was familiar enough with the body’s automatic response to such... stimulating situations... But the way that his own blood raced, his mind filling with thoughts of kissing Thancred, of holding him, of... "It's— I know. Mine apologies. Pray forgive my response, I simply— I'm not—"

Seemingly assuaged that Urianger wasn't going to flee despite the tension that still sung through his legs braced where they around his hips, Thancred softened. He reached up to brush a hand along Urianger’s face — not holding, just touching, allowing Urianger to move away if he wished. Allowing him the opportunity to run, even if he hoped he wouldn't. "Hey," he said, his voice soft and soothing as he drew Urianger’s attention back to him. "I know you're not. It's okay, it doesn't mean anything, really."

Urianger merely nodded, not quite able to bring himself to look up and meet Thancred’s gaze, no matter how reassuring those steady hazel eyes would be. Not when his smalls were still uncomfortably tight beneath his robes, rubbing against his skin in all the wrong ways. His hands fisted in his robes, grateful that the heavy fall of fabric hid it from view.

Thancred's thumb stroked along his cheek, gentle and soothing. He scratched lightly at the edge of Urianger’s beard, the pleasant shift of the hair beneath his finger tingling along Urianger’s skin. A welcome distraction from other, less pleasant tinglings. Slowly, the sensation faded, and with it, the tension leeched from Urianger’s body until he was able to meet Thancred's eyes.

Thancred was watching him warmly, waiting, a reassuring smile on his lips. "There, that's better," he said. He leaned in and Urianger braced himself for another kiss, but Thancred’s lips landed instead in the tip of his nose: a quick, light brush. His lips were damp from their earlier kiss, softened by their shared saliva as they ghosted against Urianger’s skin.

Urianger’s heart caught in his throat, snatching his breath to reside there with it. That was a new kiss. Of all the places Thancred’s lips had touched, they had never touched him there. His mouth, his cheek, his brow, but never his nose. It was different from the others. Lighter. Sweet and cute and playful and... Affectionate.

Not that kissing Thancred wasn't always affectionate; the mere act of kissing necessitated affection. But this was different, somehow. More like the stroke of a thumb up the back of his hand while their fingers twined, or the caress of fingers through his hair while Thancred helped lull him to sleep. Like....

Like the countless little gestures Thancred doted upon him each and every day. A hand on his back when he was stressed. The bump of a knee beneath the table. A mellow voice reminding him to stretch out his back and asking if he'd eaten. Thancred’s every gesture was full of that same sort of soft affection. How long had he looked upon Urianger so, with that delicate warmth in his gaze, without his notice?

Urianger’s eyes lifted to meet Thancred’s, seeing as if for the first time the way the light haloed his features in a gentle radiance. The way his eyes softened at the corners as he looked at him. The private smile that graced his lips, the one he shared only with Urianger and none other. It widened as he reached forward, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Urianger’s ear. "What do you say we finish getting ready for this trip. Best be prepared for anything, right?"

Urianger could only nod, the swell of emotion beneath his breast staying his tongue. Oh. So that's what I've been feeling all this time.

[Kofi/Commissions]

#posts to ao3 - comes to tumblr to make post - immediately forgets what i titled the damned chapter and has to go back and check #someday i'll make up a master list for this fic. hopefully some day soon #I wasn't really expecting it to be as long as it's getting and tracking down the past chapters to link to is getting to be frustrating #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #thanuri #urithan #thancred #urianger #ffxiv fanfiction #first for everything #my writing #~k

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sealsapocalypticmusic · 8 months

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Tomorrow/later today brings good news for people who like The Silt Verses and 8 minute long narrative folk songs

#seal's apocalyptic rambles #tsv #sealapocalyptic says music related words #could I have cut it down? maybe. will I? No!#I have in my heart like a. fanfic academic paper about the folk music tradition of the followers of the trawlerman #maybe i'll write it someday #because I've spent a lot of time thinking about my tsv songs #and the recurring phrases/interconnectedness and how that its probably reflective #of the natural evolution of folk songs and you could connect them together #return to the river is explicitly. to me. an evangelism song that is new and drawing on those old tradtions #and yet recontextualizing them in a way that makes them fundementally more #idk palatable outside the context of people already in the faith yk?#anyway it's the fabled promised bride song I've been talking about #for a million years at this point

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

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I once asked you about sansuo playlist and I loved it. I rarely find the one that gets the characters

Do you perhaps has buggy one too?

🎪🎪🎪 Starting to make public my OP playlists it seems...

#honestly i am glad you're asking me abt playlists bc i never actually make them #like i write the songs down on a drive document and go 'yeah i'll make the playlist someday' and i never do it-#so now i have. motivation to do it #one piece #buggy the clown #ask-bean!

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bunnymedley · 3 months

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Hey I saw a post of yours from a bit back the one about how transfems should use any hole they can get their hands on when their horny and you said you had story ideas where can I find this story- sincerely a hole for transfems

u can find this story inside my twisted mind come hop in

#anon #maybe i'll actually write stuff down someday probably not #i have some cute silly ideas tho #rn im thinking about communal breeding mounts with some specially designed for girls with knots

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dragonologist-phd · 5 months

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💗 for the moodboard ask, for whoever best catches your fancy! (Bonus points for a close friendship/mentor relationship as the focus!)

💗 for a moodboard about another significant relationship in my muse’s life

thank you!!

i went with Desta and her relationship with Siobhan, her mentor in the Kind Wayfarers! Before joining the Wayfarers, Desta never really had a role model that she liked or wanted to aspire to- but Siobhan welcomed her into the Order with open arms, showed her the ropes, and had a big impact on her life. They stopped traveling together after Desta completed training and became a full paladin in her own right, but they keep in touch and Desta considers Siobhan the closest thing she has to family

moodboard meme

#ch: desta #someday i'll sit down and write that fic about desta and siobhan

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peridots-pixiwolf · 1 year

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ultrabright colors and gradation map my beloved

[Start ID. Three color variations of the same messy sketch on a white background. Each one depicts V1 from Ultrakill, in the same pose as the protagonist on the cover for Doom. They're standing on a pile of gore rather triumphantly and lifting a Husk with one arm, by where its collar would be. The original drawing was in bright red, yellow, and blue, and the two others are in much softer palettes, one shades of green and the other purple through yellow. End ID]

#so. funny story I have been working on two things that I can only share here on the 25th #one is stagbells and that took up the majority of the past three weeks. like ''longest I've ever taken on a drawing'' majority #and obviously to wind down from that the solution is Play Bloodiest And Most Intense Game You Own #i prommi I'll make refined ultrakill art someday but for now you get the doodle I made while a christmas song was stuck in my head #still new to writing ids I hope this is good #may edit it later #blood #gore #< ?#eyestrain #v1 ultrakill #husk ultrakill #ultrakill #bots #peridots-art #ask to tag #filth ultrakill #< coming back OCT 11 2023 to realize i got the tag wrong. oops

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htonl-writes · 1 day

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i've been thinking about what my problem is with epithets, because i definitely have a problem with them, which is why i basically never use them. an epithet, if you don't know the fancy words we use to refer to other words, is basically a descriptor that's used as a stand-in for a name or pronoun. the classic fandom example is "the bluenette", although maybe that was more widespread ten years ago. or maybe i just read different fic now.

anyway, my problem with epithets comes down to how i think of POV writing. i write almost exclusively in limited third person, which means i use names and pronouns and descriptors like we're all just standing there watching what's happening like a movie, but i pick on character to be the POV character and describe them from the inside - how their own body feels rather than how it looks, what they notice about the world around them rather than what's actually there - and i don't use any information in narration that they don't have.

that bit about describing what the POV character notices about the world rather than what's actually there is where this comes from. when i write in limited third person, i think of it as giving the reader a glimpse into the POV character's thoughts, just phrased in a slightly more viewer-friendly manner. if the POV character doesn't actually think of another character in a specific way, then i don't use it as an epithet. it actually breaks my immersion when other authors don't follow this rule - i have a way of turning my analytical writer brain off when i'm reading so i can enjoy it regardless of how skilled the author is, but some things i can't turn off, like noticing misspellings or accidental usage of the wrong word, and epithets. apparently.

using star wars as an example, and i promise i'm not vagueing any author or fic in particular: if a jedi who's known obi-wan all his life is talking to him, and the narration is using limited third person with the other jedi as the POV character, the use of epithets like "the red-haired man" or "the shorter man" jars me out of the story. epithets that describe physical traits can be useful to the reader, but if it isn't the first time the characters are meeting, they're unlikely to be focused on each other's appearance. in the above scenario, i might use epithets like "the youngster" (since this jedi is older than obi-wan and knew him when he was little), "the [jedi] master" (since this jedi is likely either proud or jealous of obi-wan's accomplishment in becoming a master at such a young age), or "the general" (i'm sure all the jedi have feelings about becoming generals).

but like i said, i mostly don't use epithets at all. the narrative purpose i use them for is different than what i think most people use them for - that is to say, distinguishing between who's saying/doing what in a scene, without overuse of names or pronouns. i get where people are coming from with this, but i actually don't think it's possible to overuse names and pronouns. i mean, it's definitely possible to overuse pronouns alone, causing your readers to lose track of who's doing what; but pronouns combined with names, i don't think you can overuse. it's just like the word "said", as opposed to other dialogue tags - it communicates the minimum amount of information, and it's usually "invisible" to the readers, in that they absorb the information it contains and move on without paying any more attention to it. pronouns and names do the same, and readers also tend to kind of skip over them in favor of the more interesting parts of the sentence.

instead, i use epithets to communicate something about the POV character, and about the character they're interacting with. how does the POV character think about the character they're interacting with? are they affectionate? derogatory? creepily attentive? respectful? do they not even see this person as a person, but instead as a piece of moving furniture? and the subject of the epithet - how are they acting? is there an unusual element to their appearance? in that same scenario from earlier, the other jedi might use the epithet "youngster" for obi-wan if the context of the interaction is the jedi temple and obi-wan is relaxed and smiling, but they might use the epithet "general" instead if the context is a battle and obi-wan is giving orders and adjusting his armor.

it's a really small thing, on the whole, how an author uses epithets. i really, genuinely do not hold it against a fanfic author if they're using epithets in a way i don't agree with; maybe they're less skilled at writing than me, or they have less experience, or they're more experienced and better than me and they're going for a specific effect. i am so serious about fanfic being a space for people to explore without judgement, no matter if they're exploring a story or world, an emotion or trauma, or something else entirely. i just. i just have Opinions. about writing. because i'm a writer. it happens.

#htonl speaks #hello i sat down to write the next chapter of grogu and the beroya the other day #and instead wrote a oneshot i can't post until after i finish master buir bc it might need lore-related changes #graaaah i burned out on applying to jobs but i've rested and i have the energy to do hobbies again #except the only hobbies i end up doing are VIDEO GAMES #every day at work i say to myself 'i need to apply to jobs today' and then i sit down on my couch and open up a video game instead #i found an alternative to linkedin that i think will be better at least bc linkedin is overcrowded and plenty of the job postings are bogus #someday soon i will be in the right physical mental and emotional space to post fanfiction regularly again but today is not that day #did i have a tag for writing thoughts? hold on i will save as draft and go look #i did not and i've made myself sad bc i haven't been posting here or writing #i'll get back into it as soon as i can i promise >~<

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