#solved' and to that i tell you- too easy- why pick the logical solution when i could not? hmm? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellana-ravenwood · 4 years

Text

In a world where Bruce Wayne raised Damian since birth - Ficlets part 2/3

And here we are. So. Yeah. I got extremely carried away again so I guess I’m cutting this “last part” in two ^^'. The last part (so the third one) is therefor already written and will be posted soon after a few other stories I got to update ! Thanks for reading, hope you’ll like this and boom :

PART 1

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

TW : mentions of blood in the “The day he learned what death meant” part ! Also, loss of a close family member... + drowning in “The Pond incident”.

__________________________________________________

******

"No more Robins.”

Bruce couldn’t bring himself to explain to Damian what happened to Jason.

Of course, he knew that one day, he would have to. And that the sooner the better. Especially since the boy was asking more and more when his brother would come back.

Bruce was pretty sure his boy thought that Jason went to form his own “Teen Titans”, like Dick did years ago.

Damian kept asking to video conference Jason, when he’d call, why didn't he kiss him goodbye, or when he’d come back to have dinner with them…Yes. Yes the boy most likely thought his older brother did what his oldest brother did.

Went away for a little while, definitely not forever.

Bruce wondered how long he would be able to wisthand his son’s questions.

Every time the little one would ask « When is Zayson calling/coming back ? », Bruce felt his heart shrivel more and more, and flashes of Jason’s body in his arms kept coming back and-

He couldn’t. Bruce couldn’t. How the hell could he say anything ?

How could he explain to his baby son that his beloved brother would never come home again ? Would never call ?And that everything was his own father’s fault…He couldn’t break his son’s heart like that. He couldn’t bear to..

But he would have to. One day or another.

“The sooner the better”, Dick said. And Bruce knew he was right. But it was too hard.

And then suddenly, as if summoned by his thought, there he was.

Little Damian.

Except this was clearly not the right time to tell him what truly happened to Jason, as the boy seemed mildly annoyed and was…Wearing his coat and shoes ? Where was he going ? And who was that other kid with him ?

The newcomer seemed to be around twelve, and was smiling widely, clearly excited to be here. Before he could speak though :

“Daddy, he knows you’re Batman.”

Damian said, very matter of factly, as if it wasn’t really a surprise. And maybe to a six years old growing up knowing his dad was Batman, it wasn’t ?

Although in this case, it was more the fact that Damian’s mind was monopolized by where Jason went, than him not being surprised someone guessed who Batman was. In other circumstances, and if he was older than barely six, maybe he would’ve been very impressed...Later on in his life, Tim would genuinely impress him many times with his intellect.

Damian never told anyone, because since he was very young, Bruce, Alfred, Dick and Jason told him not to. Because it was a secret. And it became natural for him, to not talk about this to anyone. He was basically conditioned to never even mention the Dark Knight.

“Batman” was part of the boy’s life since birth, to him, he was nothing special except for the fact it was his beloved dad. He was always more of a “Robin” fan anyway, as he regarded both his brothers in awe...

Which made him think, where was Jason ?!

The thought of him brought Damian back to his initial idea, which was to go to Jason’s school (wherever that was) and look for him. As he thought about it, he realized there was a big flaw in his plan for sure. Where was his brother’s school ? And also, it was Winter’s vacation ? Why would he be there ?

Then...Where was he ?

Now, Damian was even more annoyed at this dude who knocked on their door. Not only did he wrecked his plans to go to Jason’s school (before he could truly think about it), but now he was monopolizing his dad’s attention so Damian, who was taught basic politeness by Alfred, couldn’t even cut him off to ask where Jason was !

This had slowly become Damian’s obsession, to know where his brother was. He’s never been so focus on only one thing in his entire short life.

“...and that’s how I found out you were most definitely him, The Batman !”

Damian didn’t really listen to what “Tim” said. He didn’t care that much how he found out that his dad was Batman, all he wanted was...Oh, but wait a minute.

Tim discovered who Batman really was.

All on his own. While everyone in Gotham seemed oblivious to that fact. This must mean...

“Hey ! You must know where Jason went ?”

Damian was maybe young, but he was smarter than a lot of adults would give children credits for. He often easily put two and two together anyway (thanks to the many puzzles his father turned into games and made him solve, along with his brothers), and if that Tim could find out who Batman really was when everyone else was in the dark (even Superman, and he met both Batman AND Bruce Wayne rather often), he could probably find Jace !

Tim turned to Damian, and looked at him with a sorry look in his eyes and...Why ? But the boy never had time to ask that question as his father said :

“Damian, go to your room please. Timothy and I have to talk.”

“But I want to-”

“No buts. I’ll come by your room when I’m done. Please, do as I say, Damian.”

There was something in his father’s tone, that made Damian sort-of forget about asking where Jason was. Something grave, as if the man he admired the most on this Earth would suddenly shatter.

There was something in his father’s tone that made him not want to argue, and to just listen. Something that just sounded quiet and heavy. And so without trying to argue further, Damian went to his room, and waited.

Waited for what seemed hours, for his father to come tell him whatever he wanted to tell him.��

But Bruce never came to explain anything. Or to tell what happened between him and Tim. He couldn’t. He just didn’t have the strength yet. Especially not after he told Tim off, and told him to forget about Batman and go on on his own ways.

Not after he told Tim that there was : “no more Robins”.

************

The Pond Incident.

It didn’t seem his dad wanted to explain to him much about what happened with Tim, or talk about Jason at all.

In fact, since yesterday and Tim’s impromptu arrival, Damian hadn’t seen his father at all. Nor did he see Dick (later, he’d learn than both men were together, working a case and trying to focus on it to take their pain away...Later, the boy would learn his father just couldn’t face him just yet).

When Damian asked “Fafred” (Alfred), the butler told him they were both busy. The boy didn’t even bother, this time, to ask where Jason was. He knew he’d get no satisfying answers. So he decided, just like the day before before he got interrupted by Tim and then spend the entire day waiting for his dad in his room, well he decided to take things in his own hands.

Now, there was only one solution to this “Where is Jason ?” problem.

Well, this was the last solution.

The most logical and obvious one, to Damian’s little six years old eyes.

Nobody seemed to want to tell him where Jason went, even after two full weeks now ! And Damian looked EVERYWHERE for his brother.

Now, Jason has always been the best at “hide and seek”.

It was easy to find Dick, he always used his acrobat background to find the least likely places to hid in...Which made it the most obvious of places to look in, all you had to do, is look in places normal people couldn’t access, and you’d find Dick ! But Jason...Jason was a true master of the art. He always managed to find the best hidden places !

But he never stayed hidden for that long ! The most he went on was about two hours, and then he got tired of waiting and went to eat some cookies in the kitchen, which is where Damian finally found him !

So if Jason wasn’t in school, if he didn’t have his own Titans, if he wasn’t playing hide and seek...Then there was only one place left where he could be !

The infamous and scary “Pond”.

Both Jason and Dick warned Damian multiple time to not go near it, telling him a monster lived in it so he would keep away.

Of course, the monster story was a lie. A white one. So they’d keep their baby brother safe. Because that pond was rather treacherous. Even if you were a good swimmer, falling in it, with all the water weed at the bottom, could become fatal rather quickly.

And so the “Pond Monster” was born. Damian was truly terrified of it, which sometimes made his brothers feel guilty that they invented such a terrifying cryptid. But at the same time, anything to keep him out of danger.

But today, as the boy thought this was the last place his brother could be, and that maybe the Pond Monster had him, Damian didn’t feel fear.

On the contrary, he felt rather resolved. And here he was, six years old Damian, slipping away discreetly in the garden, as everyone in the house was too busy and weighted down by their pain to notice...

He approached the water slowly, carefully. He wasn’t about to get snatch easily like that by the monster. Picking a stick from the floor, Damian walked to the pond with wary steps, ready to fight.

Only the thought that maybe Jason was there kept him going.

Hey, maybe that’s why nobody was really telling him where Jason was ? Because the Pond Monster was holding him prisoner and they were all afraid it’d take Damian too ?

“M’not ‘fraid !”

Damian yelled at the pond, letting the monster know he was, indeed, not afraid. Or maybe, trying to convince himself.

And here he was, near the murky water. He looked at it, and waited for a few minutes. Waited for the monster. But it never came, so he said :

“If you have my brother, you have to let him go now.”

Silence.

“Please ?”

Silence. Damian hits the water with his stick.

“We can trade, you take me and you let Zayson go ?”

Damian knew that Jason would never let the monster take him, and intended to trick it so he would let Jason free enough so they could both escape !

But the pond desperately stayed silent. And the boy now found himself wishing that monster was real. He approached the water even more, and bend above it.

He couldn’t see anything, and so he walked closer still, and then...

There was a reason, both Dick and Jason made sure that their little brother would never come near that pond. In fact, Bruce planned to take it out years ago but never quite got to it...

The sides were directly quite deep, for a pond. Deep enough for a small six years old boy to...

“Woaaaah !”

Damian slipped, and fell right in the water.

First, before he could even struggle to stay above the water, he felt the cold of it. New Jersey, that time of the year, was cold and unforgiving...

And as Damian’s adrenaline kicked in, making him unaware of the cold, he started to struggle. But the long grass filling the pond were already tangling around him, dragging him down and down, as if they had a mind of their own.

Damian knew how to swim, he learned fast, as his father was truly terrified anything would happen to his kids...But the panic made the boy get tangled even more in those thick grass, and his little six years old body couldn’t win.

He couldn’t win.

His head was beneath the water now, and everything was dark and cold. He cold feel the bottom of the pond, and he could see he wasn’t that much shorter than the depth of it...But the thick water grass wouldn’t let go of him, and he couldn’t reach the surface that was oh so close. It felt that the more he struggled, the more he got tangled.

And it was cold. So cold.

“Damian...”

Jason ? Was that Jason ? Damian could recognize his brother’s voice anywhere.

“Damian what are you doing here ?”

It was cold, and he couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Damian, you’re not supposed to be here. You have to go Damian, you have to go, you hear me ?”

The boy wasn’t quite sure anymore, but he thought he saw the silhouette of a man next to him, helping him out of the water and...Jason ! This was really Jason’s voice ! Jason was saving him !

Probably because of the water, Damian felt like there were two people with him. One that was trying to lift him up above water, and a sort of brighter one, who was slowly fading now...Doesn’t matter.

Jason was saving him.

He knew it, Damian knew Jason would never leave him alone.

Everything was cold and dark, but he felt warm arms get a hold of him, drag him out of the water.

“Good. Good. Go Damian, go. And I don’t want to see you up until you’re very, very, very old...”

The boy did not understand those last few words. Wasn’t even sure he heard them. All of a sudden, he was out of the water, coughing and trembling. And someone was wrapping a warm hoodie around him, trying to get him warm.

“You have to be careful buddy, you have to be careful !”

This wasn’t Jason’s voice.

The water slowly clearing out of his vision, Damian looked at whoever saved him and...

It was the one from yesterday.

Tim.

He was wearing a t-shirt, and was soaked, his hair sticking on his forehead. And he was desperately trying to keep the little boy warm, enveloping him carefully in his own hoodie and coat, that he must’ve taken off before jumping in the pond to rescue Damian. Tim’s own lips were blue, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Are you ok ? Are you ok ? We have to get back you back to the manor, to where it’s warm ok ? I’m going to carry you ok ? Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you I just want to-”

“What happened here ?!”

Damian was still not really sure what was happening, still a bit numbed from the cold water and the fear and...Was it really Jason he heard ?

His little six years old mind couldn’t understand everything, right now. Except that the one who asked what was happening was his dad.

And indeed, as Damian turned to the voice...

“Oh my God what happened ?!”

“I’m sorry sir, I know you told me you didn’t want any help or another Robin or anything but I was um...In your forrest by accident- yes that’s it, by accident-, when I saw your son going straight to that pond and then he fell and-”

A large hand on his shoulder is what stopped Tim’s anxious rant. And Bruce’s kind and understanding eyes what made him feel safe.

“It’s alright boy, come on in tell me all about it around a cup of hot cocoa.”

It didn’t take a genius to gather that Tim had just saved Damian. Taking his own coat off, Bruce put it around Tim’s shoulders, and picked up his youngest son his arms.

“You’re okay to walk ?”

“Yes sir, yes I am.”

“Tough little one.”

Bruce smiled at Tim, trying to reassure him. It was clear the boy had adrenaline rushing through his veins and his heart was still beating fast, unable to quite catch whatever happened there...

Bruce knew. Bruce knew what happened. And it chilled him to the bones.

He couldn’t send Tim away again, not after what the boy just did.

************

Some fresh warm clothes and a cup of hot cocoa later...

What Damian said that day, and what Tim told Bruce, froze the Batman’s blood in his veins.

What if Tim hadn’t been so stubborn, not wanting to give up helping Batman, and Damian would’ve...he would’ve...

It was time now.

Not knowing where his brother went almost cost him his life, that’s how the little one desperately wanted to find Jason back.

It was time now.

Bruce had to tell him. He had to...

The day he understood what “Death” meant.

"Damian, buddy, I have to...I have to show you something.”

Comfortably wrapped in a blanket, little Burrito Damian turned to his father and...was shocked by how serious, tired, sad and old he looked.

Sure, his dad haven’t been the same much lately. Since Jason left. But he also was a little quieter when he let Dick go join the Titans, so Damian didn’t worry too much !

Except right now, it’s as if he truly didn’t recognized his dad. Like it was another man in front of him, who was broken.

When Bruce would look at Damian, at any of his children really, there was always a spark in his eyes. A spark, that was nowhere to be seen right now.

Which worried the little boy.

Bruce turned to Tim, and said :

“Chum, would you mind waiting for us here ? I have to...To...”

“It’s ok Mr. Wayne, I know. I will go home and-”

“Please no. Wait here, there is...There is probably some old clothes that belonged to Dick or...Or Jason, somewhere in the house. Dry clothes. Alfred will take care of things. Finish your cocoa, I will be back and we can...We can talk about Robin. If you’d like.”

Tim’s eyes brightened and opened wide, he excitedly shook his head and said :

“I’d love that sir !”

The pure joy radiating from the boy made Bruce’s heart feel a little warmer, and gave him the last push of bravery he needed to take his youngest son...There.

To take Damian to Jason’s grave.

After asking Alfred to take care of Tim, Bruce took Damian outside again, in the back garden. So deep in the estate, Damian actually realized he never went there.

Holding his father’s hand, the boy stayed silent as he walked along side his dad, walked...Somewhere.

Damian had a bad feeling about this, he didn’t like how wet his father’s eyes were, and how serious he looked. He asked :

“Where are we going daddy ?”

“I have things to explain to you.”

“What things ?”

“Where...Where Jason went.”

“It’s ok, it’s ok, we can wait tomorrow ?”

All of a sudden, Damian didn’t want to know where Jason was. A scary and uneasy feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint as he never felt it before was creeping his way in his heart, and he was suddenly taken over by a fear of what was waiting for them beyond the woods at the back of Wayne’s garden.

Damian didn’t even know their backyard was so big. He always assumed the forrest was the end of it, but no. No. The forrest was part of it. And beyond the woods laid...

Two weirdly carved stones ?

Damian didn’t like this place. He didn’t like it at all.

“Where is Zayson ?”

He asked, worried, wishing very hard his older brother would pop out from behind one of the stone and everything was just a prank.

“He’s...He’s there.”

Bruce pointed at one of the stone, and Damian didn’t understand.

“Where ?”

“Under.”

“Under ? Why ?”

Bruce realized this was a mistake. How the hell will he explain what happened ? Why didn’t he do it sooner ? Why ? Why why why ? He wished Dick and Alfred would be here. But deep down, Bruce knew this was something he had to do on his own.

That he owned that much to his son.

“Why is he under there, daddy ?”

“He’s..He’s sleeping.”

No. No this was wrong. Don’t give the boy false hope. Tell him right away why his brother is buried three feet under...

“Well, when will he wake up then ? Is it weally safe for him to sleep under the gwound ?”

“He won’t wake up Damian. He...He’s...”

Say it Bruce. Say it. You have to. Don’t beat around the bushes. Tell him. Don’t let him think there’s a chance for him to ever see his beloved brother again.

Say it. Say it. Say it.

Bruce had to gather all his will, courage and strength to finally say it :

“He’s dead, son. Jason is dead.”

It took a little bit for Damian to start to understand what this meant.

A little bit for the boy to have sudden flashbacks of Simba’s dad, in “The Lion King”, whom Dick said was “sleeping”. Of why Nemo’s mom wasn’t around after that scary fish attacked. Or why Little Feet had to cross the Land Before Time all alone, without his mama. Why Bing Bong, in “Inside Out”, disappeared. What happened to the Iron Giant...

For him to remember Harry Potter’s parents, who were “killed” by Voldemort. For the first time, he slowly understood what it truly meant. Harry Potter never saw his parents, except when they were...ghosts ? But they were gone.

Harry Potter’s parents were gone. He couldn’t see them. Ever. They were in a place no one alive could go.

And all of a sudden, he realizes that both his brother’s real parents were “gone”. Somewhere no one could follow them. Somewhere they would never see them again. Somewhere that would sometimes make Dick and Jason sad, because they couldn’t see them ever again.

For the boy to realize his dad’s parents too, left and were...Dead.

Which is why he never met his grandparents. And why his dad was Batman. And why-

“No.”

Damian heard himself say. His little six years old brain refusing to accept that his brother was like Simba’s dad, like Bing Bong, or like...like...

“Damian, yo-”

“No !”

Damian walked to where his dad said Jason was buried, and although he couldn’t quite read yet, he recognized the name “Jason” being written on the stone. His brother taught him how to write it, because the boy drew a lot of things for him and he wanted to address it to him properly...

“Lies ! LIES !!”

Damian screamed, trying to scratch away the name carved deep in the stone.

“Zayson is not dead, he’s not dead ! He would never leave me ! He said so !”

“Damian-”

“Lies daddy, lies ! You’re lying, it’s not nice to lie !!”

Damian kept screaming, tears slowly welling up in his eyes. His little finger tips where starting to get bloody, as he tried to erase his brother’s name off of this damn “grave”...

“Damian, son, ca-”

“ZAYSON IS NOT UNDER THERE ! HE’S NOT ! HE’S NOT ! HE’S NOT !! He’ll come back Daddy, he will ! We have to take the stone away daddy, or he’ll think we forgot him !”

Blood was tinting the cold marble of the tomb now. And Bruce quickly grabbed a hold of his boy but...

Kids were so squirmy.

That’s one of the first lesson Bruce ever learned, when Damian was still a baby and it was such a struggle to put his clothes on, or to change a diaper, as he would squirm all around joyfully.

Except now, far were the times when Dick and/or Jason would mock him because Damian caught a tuff of his hair and wouldn’t let go, far were the funny moments and laughters as baby Damian literally peed on him more than once, making his older sons laugh too much...

Now, Damian was squirming away from his grasp, crying, screaming...

Heart broken.

“No daddy, no !!”

There was a time too, when Damian would say that. Whenever Bruce would scold Dick, for example. Damian would hug his brother tightly, and, barely speaking a few words, would yell at Bruce : “No dadda, no !”, scolding him in turn because no one was allowed to “yell” at his big brother.

But now, now Damian wasn’t hugging Dick. Wasn’t clinging cutely to his brother. Instead, he had latched his arms and legs around Jason’s grave as best he could, and was now screaming :

“We can’t leave him here daddy, we can’t leave him alone ! He’s so far fwom us daddy, he doesn’t like it when he’s alone ! You know it, you know it. Zayson hates to be alone, pwease daddy pwease ! We have to bwing him back with us ! He’s ok, he’s ok he’s waiting for us to take him home ! Pwease daddy ! Pwease !”

Tears were running down the boy’s face now. Down Bruce’s face, too, as he tried to unlatch his son from around the tomb...

“Noooooo ! Noooo ! No no no !! Let go ! Let go ! Zayson !! Zayson !! JASSSONNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!”

Damian kicked and screamed and cried all the way back to the manor. Kicked Bruce for taking him away from Jason. Screamed that they couldn’t leave him. Cried because he finally understood...

He finally understood what death meant.

Robin’s Training.

From that day, and although he never cared for it, Damian demanded to be trained like his brothers were.

Stubborn as ever, he would literally harass his father

And in many ways, the resolution of his little six years old boy, is what made Bruce open his eyes about young Timothy Drake.

Both of them wanted to be Robin. One to help, the other because of his brother’s death...

Damian decided “Robins again”, and Bruce complied.

Although, he started to train Damian making it clear that the boy was under no circumstances going to leave as Robin before he reached the age of 10/11 at least.

Damian agreed, and that’s how him and Tim started to train under the tutelage of The batman...

“You’re my brother now.”

Tim wasn’t like Dick, who wanted to make sense of his parents’ death.

Or like Jason, who never had anyone to care for him and who had to make sense of his own life.

Or even like Damian, destined to become a “Robin” because of who his father is, but also because of who his mother is.

Tim didn’t have any personal motive.

He still had his parents, he was from a rather wealthy family, he...He was just a kid, who was a huge Batman fan, and who wanted to help.

That’s what Tim was to the core, a highly intelligent child who just wanted to help. And that’s what he did.

He listened to Bruce, became good at fighting, an expert in tactics, and took a completely renewed Robin mantel...

He would go every night back to his parents’ house, where they’d barely acknowledge his existence. How ? How can such a lack of care and love create such a selfless boy ? Bruce didn’t know, but he was proud. And was it bad, that he started to see little Timothy as his own son ?

The boy would spend most days with him anyway now. With him, and with Damian.

Which was important. Tim had become the only one who managed to make Damian laugh, at this time. As expected, the boy and his discovery of what death truly was changed him...But Tim. Tim, he could bring back the Damian Bruce and Dick knew.

Additionally, them being rather competitive, they would bicker often, which would take Damian’s mind off of his pain.

Damian never bickered with Dick nor Jason. But he bickered a lot with Tim. Closer in age, maybe. They came to quickly care for each others, and were acting like brothers before becoming officially ones.

Some could think that the shock of losing his older Brother Jason would make Damian not want a new brother, not want a “replacement”...But Tim and Jason were so different, Tim was definitely not a replacement. And it didn’t feel right to Damian anymore, to not have two older brothers..

Tim became part of the family before he was adopted. Before his parents died.

And when a tragedy occurred, as it often happened in Gotham. When Tim lost his parents...Bruce and his family were ready to welcome him.

Bruce knew he’d never replace Tim’s real parents, no matter how bad and careless they were, and such. Yet...Yet when Tim stepped foot in the Manor, and had his own bedroom in it, and saw the official adoption papers...

Tim became Robin because he wanted to help.

He became part of the family because he was always here to help, to care, to love.

“You’re my brother now.”

Damian simply stated, but with a lot of emotions in his voice, hugging him as a way of giving him his condolences, and officially invite him in the house...

“You’re my brother now.”

A simple sentence, a heartfelt one full of promises of never letting one another down.

Yes. Yes. Tim Drake went from “only child” to brother of two.

The Mastermind behind the Cookie’ rapt.

Lighter days occurred, after this. Jason’s disappearance would forever leave a hole in their heart, of course, but they were all ready to

“Ok agent Damdam, are everything in order ?”

“Yes agent Tim, it is !”

“Codename agent Damdam !”

“Oh, sorry. Yes agent TOm, it is !”

“Good. Now, it’s time to put everything in action.”

Tim became a permanent member of the Wayne family very easily. He fitted right in.

He LOVED Dick and was a huge fan of his Robin, and as a child, of the “Flying Graysons”. And now, he got to be his little brother and they would get along very well. Dick was living in Bludhäven now, but would often come by.

And with Damian ? Well, he didn’t have that many years of difference with his brother, and although they bickered often, they also got along very easily.

Especially when it was about organizing stealth mission to steal cookies after dinner...

Alfred pretended he didn’t notice, and would always refill the cookie jar to make sure those little secret agent “DamDam” and “TOm” had a way to bond further, and something to steal.

Is a sister different than a brother ?

Cass came in soon after Tim did. About six months after. Bruce knew of her prior to her being adopted of course, or rather, he knew about her parents.

He knew what kind of life she lead. He knew how lonely, painful and...Of course, Bruce couldn’t leave her alone. Couldn’t leave her at her father’s mercy. Couldn’t let her stay a weapon.

They knew each other for a while, when Bruce asked her if she wanted to change, to get better, to break free of the chains her parents forged for her.

In Cass, Bruce saw a lot what Damian could’ve become. And there was no way he wouldn’t try to save her, if she was willing to be saved.

And she was. She was.

And in due time, after many adventures on her own and as a spy for Bruce...She was officially adopted. Just like all his other kids,

By that point, Damian was used to have new siblings, but he was a little worried...

Is a sister different than a Brother ?

No. Damian came to that conclusion very quickly. He loved Cass the same way he loved his brothers. She was important to him, and he wanted to be around her when he felt sad.

In fact, Cass became his shield against “Jason Blues”. That’s how he would come to call it one day. The very specific sadness little Damian felt when he was enjoying something, and wanted to go to Jason because he’d be sure he would enjoy it too...

Jason was always the fun, and funny brother. The one that would let Damian do anything to him, including the times Damian was being a little rough or obnoxious. Jason never said “no” to playing with Damian, like Dick would sometimes do (see previous chapter for more details about all this).

And even if Jason didn’t have any interest in whatever Damian wanted to do, he’d say “sure buddy”, and would play with him nonetheless. Tim wouldn’t do that either, they were close of course, and had a lot of common interest, but neither Tim nor Dick would just let Damian do whatever he wanted. At least, not all the time. Of course, they would often let him chose...

And so when something happened that Damian really wanted to share with Jason, only to realize that his brother was gone (he’d forget sometimes, that’s how surreal this felt), he would go to Cass.

Because Cass had a knack to be soothing. To find the right words, to...Maybe it was because she didn’t speak much ? Because she never had to and was taught to never feel ? Maybe that’s why, she always found the exact right short few words to cheer her little brother up again.

Wether it was a simple “love you”, or “believe in you”, or even “will always be in your heart” (the longest sentence she ever pronounced at the time), she just knew what to say. What to do.

Cass was extremely touched starved. Her father, of course, wanting an emotionless perfect weapon, would never touch her for anything else than to hurt her. And when Bruce gave her his first hug, she realized...She needed it.

It made her feel better, made her feel safe and warm.

And so she wouldn’t shy away from hugging her little brother, wether in public or not, when she felt he was sad.

Sometimes, he wouldn’t even had anything to say. She’d just know.

She’d tell him what he needed to hear, hug him, and be there as much as she could, trying to fill the void Jason left behind.

« I’m learning how to read Cass ! »

« Hello Cass ! Cass ! Cass ! Caaaass ! »

Damian was six. And the school year just started. And clearly, something very exciting happened at school, today.

And that exciting thing was...

“Cass, I’m learning how to read Cass, I’m learning how to read ! I can read you bed time stories now if you want ?”

Tim was the one in charged of bed time stories, as Dick lived in Bludhäven now. And neither Damian nor Cass knew how to read.

Cass being heavily dyslexic, she was slower in learning it, and would often become frustrated...Only with Bruce, would she make progress, as he was patient, forgiving, and wasn’t about to give up on her. Ever.

It touched Cass, that the first thought Damian had, as he was about to learn how to read, was that now, he too would be able to read her bed time stories.

Cass loved bed time stories. Many would say she was too old for them now, but she missed out on an entire childhood. She never had anyone tell her stories. So now, she had to catch up.

“Look, I brought my first book from the school’s library.”

Damian showed her, excitement overwhelming him a bit as he wasn’t able to stand still, and kept jumping from one foot to the other. Cass took the book, and opened it.

It was one of those stories that had very few words, and big images. Perfect to begin. Struggling, she managed to read the three first words, and when she turned to Damian...There were stars in his eyes.

“Wooow you read so well already ! Hey, what if we learn together ? It’s funner right ? Right ? Right ? I bet dad would say yes, what about you Cass, you wanna learn with me ? Uh ?”

It was adorable, how excited Damian was. Cass couldn’t help but think about what Bruce told her once, how his life could’ve been completely different, if he had stayed with the Al Ghuls...

Would he be as excited to learn how to read ? As impressed she managed to read three words ? Would he be that happy over those small things ?

Knowing her own experience, and how similar it was to what Ras had in mind for the boy...she knew that no, no he’d probably be an entire different child.

But hey, right now, her little brother’s excitement was quickly spreading to her. Proof that even children with broken childhood such as her, had a chance to change. To have a redemption arc.

And so here they sat, the both of them, trying to read this new book Damian brought, congratulating and praising each others, and being happy about small things they could’ve never noticed if Bruce hadn’t taken them away from a certain way of life...

Not that everything was perfect with Bruce. He had many flaws. But at least, he never did anything to stop them from having fun, or enjoying childish things. He never forced them to do anything they did not want to do. He never...

Bruce had many flaws, but they would never want any other father.

The Red Hood.

Two years after Cass was adopted, Damian was eight now and things were good. Well. Except for...

Bruce didn’t want to believe it, but now, faced with him, he had to admit it.

There was no doubt in his mind, that this was...this was...

Unfocused, unable to fight properly against him, he took a bad right hook to the face, which broke one of his mask’s lens.

Jason.

The way he moved, the way he fought.

This was Jason.

He was sure.

He’d have his suspicion for a while now, seeing videos of the infamous “Red Hood”, and encountering him a few times.

The man seemed to have a personal vendetta against The Batman, and now, Bruce knew why.

Jason. It was Jason.

And Bruce found himself unable to fight him properly. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t hurt his own son...Especially since he himself, thought he deserved all the punches and kick Jason was giving him.

After all, it was his fault if the boy died..

Years of guilt weighted Bruce down. And he let Jason give him the beating of his life...

“Defend yourself old man ! Don’t humiliate me by doing nothing, come on, defend yourself or I’ll-”

“ZAYSON !!”

Jason froze, as he was about to punch Bruce, and turned around. What...What was he doing here ?!

“Zayson Zayson !!”

The little boy, down there, kept yelling his name, and suddenly, Jason felt his heart beat faster. Felt his heart start again. All the memories...All the memories...

Bruce looked at his son, in Dick’s arms, and understood immediately what happened.

Dick knew his brother. He knew him very well. And he knew that seeing their youngest sibling would awaken something in him. It seemed like it worked, as Jason’s eyes filled with tears, and he let go of Bruce.

“Damian...”

Jason fell to his knees, and Dick put Damian on the floor. The little boy didn’t waste a second, he ran to his big brother, screaming excitedly “Zayson !!” along the way. He jumped into his brother’s opened arms, and started to cry-giggle uncontrollably.

“Zayson, I knew you wou’d come back ! I knew I said to Dad but he said you wou’dn’t but you did Zayson ! You did ! You’re back !”

Tears were running down the face of the little boy, tears of joy. And that giggle Jason sometimes heard, in his darkest moment, reminding him he was still human, still there...Jason’s hold on his little brother tightened, as the boy couldn’t stop his rambling about how he always knew he’d come back.

The Memories that saved him.

He could feel the warm tears of happiness from his little brother warming his cheek, as the boy held onto him.

He was taller than last time he saw him. Of course.

Not much taller, but still, he had a little growth spur, in those two years.

He was eight now. eight…Just a little younger than Jason was when Bruce adopted him…

And suddenly, a surge of memory came back to him. From that first day he met little 3 years old Damian, to his death…

“Hewwo Zayson”, the boy would say every morning, jumping on his bed to wake him up, bright smile and giggles. When he was three, he always struggled to climb onto the bed, and it would take him a hot minute to do so. Jason would pretend he was still asleep, as the boy would finally jump up and say “Hewwo Zayson !”. Over the years, Damian learned how to properly pronounced “Jason”, but just like “Fafred” those cute childish mispronunciation just stuck...And so, the boy was maybe able to talk properly and climb his brother’s bed more easily, he’d still say “Zayson” each times.

“I drew you Zayson !”, he’d say excitedly, already showing incredible skills and talent at art, regularly giving drawings as gifts to Jay. Jason’s bedroom’s walls could be a “Damian Wayne’s art gallery”.

“Catch me Zayson, catch me !”, he’d say, running around the manor or the Batcave, and Jason would pretend that he was too fast for him.

“Zayson, it hurts !”, he’d cry after a fall, and Jason would give him a magic kiss that’d make everything feel better, and a hug. Then he’d make him laugh, and Damian would forget all about his pain.

Flashes of memories, one after another. Birthdays in his family, finally loved and home. Making the pain of feeling betrayed by Bruce who did not avenge him even stronger...Yet this hurt couldn’t taint everything.

It couldn’t taint Damian’s smiles. It couldn’t taint how the boy absolutely adored his big brother Jason. It couldn’t taint being woken up every day by giggles and a mischievous smile. It couldn’t taint years of trying to be the best older brother, to such a sweet boy as Damian.

It couldn’t taint Dick’s teasing. It couldn’t taint how much his older brother worried for him, and told him to be careful when Jason didn’t take things too seriously. It couldn’t taint the nights of fear, being comforted by his older brother, just like Jason would comfort Damian...It couldn’t taint those nights feeling safe and warm, home, knowing his brothers were there.

And it couldn’t taint Bruce’s pride and love for him. It couldn't taint all the moments the man praised him, took care of him when he was hurt (both mentally and physically), gave him this new home and clearly tried to...tried to...

It couldn’t taint how Bruce truly cared...But if he did, why didn’t he kill the Joker ? Why didn’t he do it ? For him ? Just for him ? Maybe...Maybe there was a valid reason ? Maybe...

And it’s those precious untainted memories that made him hug his little brother back. That made him

Talia did it for them.

“I know you did it.”

He says, as if talking to no one in particular.

But then, out of the shadow, a figure appears.

The figure of a woman.

Talia.

Bruce turns to her, but she doesn’t look at him. Instead, she says :

“I did it for him. For Damian. And for you, too. But...”

“But it didn’t go as you planned.”

“No. It didn’t. He stood up from that pit lost and confused, and with no memories of who he was. And when he finally got them back...”

“Is that why you did not tell me what you did ?”

“Yes.”

“How long ?”

“Right after you buried him. We took him with us, to a Lazarus pit.”

“Was it his idea ?”

“Ras ?”

“Yes.”

“No. It was mine. I did it for Damian. And for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything ? For two years ?”

“He lost his memory. I was afraid the shock...He didn’t know who he was. He was not your son anymore.”

“What did you do to him, then ?”

Silence.

“Talia, what did you do to my son ?”

“What would’ve happened to Damian if you didn’t take him...”

“What did you do ?”

“Ras turned him into his personal weapon. Jason was trained already, his brain remembered fighting, but his heart couldn’t remember his life.”

“For two years ?”

“A little less. He-he got hurt on a mission. Hurt pretty bad. And he-”

“He remembered.”

“Yes.”

“Four months ago ? When Red Hood appeared in Gotham ?”

“Yes.”

There’s a long silence, as Bruce tries to process those new informations.

So, Talia was the one to bring his son back. And she did it for Damian, for him. But things didn’t go as planned. Jason couldn’t remember, and Ras got a hold of him...Up until...

Up until a few months ago, when a shock brought back the trauma. The memories. And Jason came back to Gotham.

Jason came back home, only to realize the Joker was still alive. That Bruce didn’t kill him. Not even for him...And so Red Hood was born.

Bruce’s jaw clenches, as he feels a surge of pain. How much more was this boy going to endure ? Once again, the Batman was reminded of how important his children were in his life. Of how Damian changed his all world.

And changed Jason’s. How long would’ve Jason fight ? Would he have hit Bruce, that night ? If Damian didn’t arrive, what would’ve happened ? More and more anger, hate, frustration, pain and sadness ?

Bruce knew Jason didn’t forgive him yet, and only calmed down because of Damian (and Dick). And the Batman was determined to make amend. Amend that would start with a...

“Thank you.”

Bruce could not be mad at Talia. He could see that her intentions were good. That she really did this for Damian and for him. That she cared. That she loved them. But unfortunately, what kept them separated all those years ago was still the reason they couldn’t be together now.

Talia couldn’t break free from her father’s grasp. At least, not yet. But at the same time, didn’t she let Bruce take Damian and give him a better life ? Didn’t she use her father’s precious Lazarus pit to bring Jason back ? And wasn’t she here, right now, telling him the truth ?

There was still some good in Talia, and Bruce would never give up on it. But for now...For now, just like 9 years ago, she wasn’t ready to let go of her father’s legacy. Of her upbringing.

And so Bruce, without a look back, jumped away in the night, disappearing in the darkness.

“Thank you.”

Were the last words he said that night, and Talia watched him go, her heart heavy and wishing things...Wishing she had Damian’s chance when she was a baby, and that someone would’ve taken her away from Ras Al’Ghul.

Home Again.

Jason wasn’t ready.

No. He wasn’t ready to forgive Bruce yet. He wasn’t ready to call him “dad” again. He wasn’t ready to come back to the Manor.

He wasn’t ready.

The pain and anger was too fresh.

“You started to train him ? Him, Bruce ?! And you took a new Robin ?!”

“Before you get mad at me for this too, please listen to me. Your brother...After you died, and after he understood what happened to you, there was no way of keeping him away from this. You saw how I tried to have him have as little to do with Batman affairs as possible. I never trained him, I never...The only reason he hung out in the cave was because we were there, and it was better than a nanny. Clearly. You know how he hated being away from us. But I never, I can assure you Jason, I never intended for him to want to be Robin. It’s just...You died, and there was no trying to convince him to not want to be. As for Tim, it just happened. He’s a wonderful little boy who just wanted to help and...I’m not gonna let what happened to you happen again. I didn’t let them go out there right away, I trained them for years first. I told Cass. I told her.”

There’s a silence, where Jason looks around to his siblings (he somehow gained two, in his absence). He wanted to talk more about how wrong it was to have another Robin, to train Damian to...Instead he said :

“I still haven’t forgiven you. You have a lot to answer for.”

“I know.”

“I’m just here for Damian.”

“I know.”

“And for Dick.”

“I know.”

“I’m just here because I couldn’t beat your ass in front of them.”

“I know.”

“Don’t push your luck though.”

“I won’t.”

“Right. Well then. I’m off for now, I have things to do and-”

Damian grabbed Jason’s sleeves, panicked.

“You’re not leaving now, are you ??”

The boy didn’t care at all, wether Jason was “Red Hood” or not, wether he killed many criminels, wether...

“We’re watching Harry Potter, yes ?”

They used to watch Harry Potter a lot, when he was still alive. When he...

“You’re staying right ? And meet Tim and Cass more ? They’re your brother and sister, too.”

Brother ? Sister ? New ones ?

Jason wanted to leave. He didn’t want Damian to know how much he still loathed their father. But...But deep down, he knew he didn’t hate Bruce. He was just...So hurt. Hurt it didn’t seem he mattered enough to...

“Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix ? Your favorite ? Yes ? And with cookies from Alfred !”

Jason had never been able to resist his little brother. Today wasn’t an exception...And so he stayed.

He ended up staying all night, marathoning Harry Potter movies. He ended up picking Damian up, and going to put him in his bed, tucking him in, as he did often years ago.

He didn’t talk to Bruce, but he stayed. He stayed, and met his new brother and sister. He stayed because of Dick. Because of Damian. Because of Alfred. Definitely not because of Bruce...

He stayed. And ended up crashing in his old bedroom, which didn’t change one bit. And for the first time in those two frightening, scary and painful years...

He felt home.

************

When Damian woke up, he was suddenly overcame with the fear that his brother might not be here anymore ! That him not being dead was just a beautiful, beautiful dream.

So, just like he did 3 years ago now, he jumped out of his bed, and the first thing he did was to run to Jason’s room.

The way was longer now. After Jay’s death, they all decided to move in the East Wing, and the West wing became sort of abandoned. In the end, only Alfred would go there to keep the place up. Sometimes, Bruce would silently go to Jason’s room, left untouched since he died, and it would be so painful...

The West Wing was pretty much abandoned. Jason’s absence resonated too much, in it.

And so, as Damian jumped out of his bed, he had to cross the entire manor to go to Jason’s bedroom, who kept the one he used to have.

But last night was nice. It felt nice, to be with his brothers (and sister too, now !). It felt...it felt...It felt like home.

This time also allowed him to get more acquainted with both Tim and Cass, and it was clear from that point on, the three of them would become just as close as Jason was with Dick and Damian.

Jason’s “big brother instincts” had always been rather developed.

But anyway, Damian was finally reaching his room and...He stopped in front of it. What if, just like it happened three years ago, he’d open the door to find the room empty.

The bed still made.

As if Jason never came back. As if Jason would never come back.

What if indeed, them being reunited and all this Red Hood business was just a dream ?

What if...

The bedroom’s door open, letting some light in the dark corridor, and a silhouette appears in its frame.

“Oh hey little bugger, thought I heard your footsteps closing in. What’re you doing up so early ? And what are you standing there without-”

Before Jason could finish his sentence, Damian had jumped in his arms.

This wasn’t a dream ! This wasn’t a dream !

Jason was really back !

He was taller, had an odd white streak in his hair, and was more of a man now, than the teen Damian remembered, but his brother was back !

He truly was !

Now, now his family was full again. There wasn’t a huge gap in their lives. A taboo subject no one ever talked about in fear of hurting their family.

Jason’s name was rarely uttered, in the Wayne’s household. For Bruce, Alfred, Dick and Damian, it was too painful. For Tim and Cass, it was the constant fear of bringing up too many bad memories.

But it was fine now, he could say his name, they could joke about how he had trouble pronouncing it and “Zayson” seemed to have stuck even now. They could try to mend the pieces of their heart now, they could really try.

The family was bigger than when Jason left, but it only made his return stronger ! Or at least, that’s how Damian viewed it.

And so here he was, clinging to him.

**********

A little while later, Jason walked down to the kitchen to have breakfast, holding Damian in his arms, who just refused to let go.

The kitchen was empty, but for Bruce, who was eating ice cream straight out of the tub. Talk about a breakfast...

“Are you pregnant ?”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but took two more spoons to give to his sons. Jason sat Damian on the counter, and sat a seat away from his dad, stealing the ice scream tub from him.

The road would be long, before Jason could even begin to forgive his dad...But Bruce was hopeful. He was hopeful that Jason would understand.

His son had always been understanding, forgiving and empathic. Always.

Maybe that’s why the pain of thinking Bruce didn’t care was so grand ? Probably. But Bruce was determined to fix things. He was.

The road would be long, but as Bruce looked at his sons smiling and talking about things as if Jason was never gone, Bruce was hopeful.

Even if his boy would never forgive him, at least...At least his kids were reunited.

************

Final Crisis.

Jason was back.

The family was full again.

The siblings were as close as ever. It wasn’t always easy, and there were fights and misunderstanding and bickering...But even if just like any other family, they had their little differences, things were good. Really good.

Bruce was a proud father, and trusted them enough that he left Dick in charge of taking care of Gotham, as important matters called him elsewhere and...

That’s when it happened.

They received a call from the Justice League Watchtower. From Superman. And what he had to say

“I-...I don’t know how to say this guys. I-Your father he-I...Your father is gone.”

To be continued..

__________________________________________________

I hope you liked it, see you soon with the final part, and don’t hesitate to leave some feedback and to reblog, it’s always beyond appreciated <3.Ok phew, it’s 2 am, off to bed. Sorry for any horrible typo or if it’s not great.

Before I get any question about this, YES, of course Steph and Duke will appear too ! Oh and Babs DUH ! (She was actually supposed to appear earlier but I ended up scratching the idea as it felt out of place in this chapter). They will all appear in the final part, as this took way longer than I initially thought ^^' and I wanna write all of them right (and not just write two paragraph because I fear it’s getting too long and wanna cut to the chase, know what I mean ?). For both Babs and Steph I’ll use flashbacks to talk about how they’ve been in the Bats family for a while, I just really didn’t know how to fit them there right now, it didn’t fit the mood, and for Duke, well he does appear quite late in the Bats stories as he’s a fairly new character so it fits there). By the way, if you have any questions about ages and such in this fic, the explanation is at the end of chapter 1, I went into details about everything.

PS : for people not really reading comics very quickly : in Final Crisis Bruce is rumored dead (he obviously comes back later...with a new costume hahahaha). It’s personally not one of my favorite run, but I do like Dick as Batman and his relationship to Damian is interesting. Now obviously here there’s a MASSIVE change, since Damian normally comes in Bruce’s life not long before his “death”. So I’ll talk about this in the next chapter hehe. More Talia too. Anyway I was saying, Final Crisis and whatever happens in New 52 afterward and all = really not my fav. However, that’s when Duke appears and co (fairly new character, 2014 eh) so if we want him in, we have to go through some events from New 52 and co I guess....ANYWAY HERE WE ARE. Finally coming to an age we first truly discovered Damian hehe, when he was around 10 :). That’s when the true differences begin.

1K notes · View notes

thoughtfulpaperback · 3 years

Text

CHARMED 03X09 REVIEW SPOILERS!!!!!

Am I the only one who thought that the breaking of Jordan's Curse was weak as heck? I'll go into further detail about why I didn't care much for it but I feel that it is the main reason I am giving this episode a 7/10. It was solid as far as entertainment goes, but it wasn't as exciting to me as some past episodes have been.

Anyways I guess I will continue on to the dislikes now.

DISLIKES

1) The end of Jordan's curse

Okay y'all, I get the poeticness of jordan being released from his curse by convincing a projection of Florence with his whole the past can't be changed and I am not going to be a violent person/I'm different. My whole issue with this is that the whole curse said you had to balance the scales of justice and that was kinda of exciting to think about how the show was going to go that route and what it might mean as far as tasks go.

This was a decidedly weak way to end a potentially exciting curse. Because the curse wasn't actually "broken" Jordan was released from it.

And on that note, I also have issues with that logic. So the spell was just a simple containment gone wrong because of Jordan's curse....so why was Florence real in it?. Like it is technically trapping then in thier heads in a way. You telling me that Florence's spirit just hangs around in Jordan's mind?

Well since the curse made the spell go haywire that's why Florence was there.....

Okay so this curse can bring back the dead in your mind?

Its magic its fine however they try to explain it. I just wish they'd (the writers) would put more effort into making it make sense in the show. Not in the Q&A section of thier social media pages/interviews.

I am honestly getting tired of having to be Sherlock Holmes all the time and me having to discuss and question on go back to previous episodes to figure out how what they did makes sense in canon. It's exhausting.

And listen, I know that people might see this as negativity, but in the spirit of the episodes message, am I saying it. The writing does not need to be exceptional, but it shouldn't be lazy.

The audience shouldn't have to put in all the work to figure out what's going on. It be one thing if we trying to solve a mystery or speculate on where the show is going , but in general solutions to problems should make sense and be connected to what you've already set up. They spent so much build up on the idea of this curse and the price of "balancing the scales of justice" to have the curse ended all in a simple spell gone wrong narrative. Again, if they felt it was the best to have Jordan released from his cure rather than "break it" thats cool but not in a containment spell gone wrong. I personally didn't need an action scene or anything, but maybe in a spell/plotline actually related directly to the curse. It just came off as an easy out for the writers.

2) Introducing Josefina as a possible recurring character.

Don't hate! I love Josefina as a character and would love to see more of her......but this plate is already full. I have felt it a lot this season, but felt it was a nit pick not worth mentioning because I didn't expect it to get worse, but I am just going to say it.

Every episode has like three or so storylines. And while I dont mind them when they are all equally interesting and feel not too split, I feel that sometimes its too seperate and dis jointed. Its too much time apart and not enough together time. The more character they have introduced the more they have split the stories and I just would prefer that we'd see more together time than separated.

That's kind of what I complained about season two. That it was too much of everyone doing thier own thing that it felt off.

Thats said all I mean is that either they need to figure out how to write in a less disjointed way or to drop some characters. Which would be sad since they have spent a lot of time in the two recurring characters (Jordan and Abby) they already have.

I dont know exactly where they are going with Josefina or if she is going to be as recurring as Jordan and abby or if its more like a few episodes or just one more.

I would like to see more, but I dont trust the writers.....I feel like I say that a lot and that's sad.

LIKES

1) issue of the episode: Exceptionality

I have nothing to say other than thank God someone said it. It's exhausting being pressured into being a "model minority".

2) Josefina

Love the idea of the character and getting to learn more about Marisol and her side of the family.

Also like the idea of witch training. We never actually got to see the PO3 Learn about magic and study magic all that much. Even on season 1 a big issue I had was that they never really put as much effort into showing how the ladies are going about learning and training to fight demons/evil. The training orb was a simple way to do so but we didn't get to see very much of it. It was all mostly assumed off screen.

3) Language issues

I like that they brought up (briefly) the whole language issue in the Latinx community. So I assume most of us know it but ill just go through it a bit.

There are many different voices in the community and there are some that believe that the language (Spanish and/or other native or native based jargon) are essential to the experience. Some go as far as to say you can't really consider yourself latinx if you dont speak Spanish.

Which is bonkers in my mind because (as in episode with Maggie) latinx people face similar issues based on thier appearance and last name whether or not they speak Spanish. There are many latinx people who do not speak Spanish and yet it is assumed they do.

No being raised in a Spanish speaking (or other native language) household does open you up to different experiences (language erasure, ESL school experiences, etc) those aren't soley latinx and shouldn't be a "admissions" requirement.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

Macy letting Harry go to Abby alone (I am to be that secure that Abby aint gonna try it)

Maggie mad that Antonio swooped in because he speaks Spanish - that ain't his fault take notes.

Jordan-sorry-it-was-instinct-I-wanted-to-protect-you-Chase

Brujeria wasn't stigmatized until the colonizers

"Stay for that whiskey"

Scorpions

#harry greenwood #charmed spoilers #macy vaughn #charmed reboot #charmed cw #charmed remake #cw charmed #charmed 2018 spoilers #charmed 2018 #mel vera #maggie vera #jordan chase

12 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years

Text

top 20 favorite quirks

okay, but listen, though! it’s exactly what it says in the title. not best quirks, or most useful quirks, or most creative quirks. not even coolest quirks! I did try to take all of these things into consideration when choosing, but honestly? by far the most important factor was, “I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT.”

anyway but let me backtrack and post the actual ask.

you’ll note that at no point was I asked to pick twenty of them. I did that all on my own. so here is my list!

20. Solid Air (Tsuburaba)

Tsubaraba Kousei. all-time undefeated grand champion of The Floor Is Lava. or at least he was until Ochako came along. anyway, so this is an extremely nifty quirk with all sorts of utility ranging from defense to helping him get around. it’s super useful for catching bad guys, and apparently the only real limit is his lung capacity. this quirk has so much potential and I love it.

19. Copy (Monoma)

the fact that he can copy his opponents’ powers and use them against them is badass enough, but add in the fact that he can hold up to 3 (or 4??) of them at once -- for as long as ten minutes -- and this quirk starts getting seriously powerful. anyway so one thing you might note as you read on is that although Copy is on my favorite quirks list, AFO is not! and that’s because Monoma’s limits actually make the quirk much more interesting to me, because they force him (and Horikoshi) to get creative. this is a really fun quirk and I would love to see more of Monoma in action. about time we saw him fight some actual villains and not just class 1-A, honestly.

18. Brainwashing (Shinsou)

as with Monoma’s quirk, what really sets this apart from other mind-control superpowers (to me, anyway) is the fact that it has limitations. he can’t just control anyone at random; in order to take them over he has to get them to respond to him somehow. which leads to innovations like the voice-changer, and which as a result has made his battles so genuinely interesting and fun to watch. anyway so I really want Shinsou to hurry up and join 2-A, and for them to just give him his provisional license all “here you go, son” with no testing whatsoever, because we’re past the point of pretending the HPSC is actually responsible these days, and because I really want to see if he can help turn the tides the next time the heroes battle the League.

17. Zero Gravity (Ochako)

I feel like it’s worth noting that I don’t really have any kind of fear of heights or falling or anything like that. and so I can’t really explain why Toga using this quirk on Ms. Curious and her lackeys was hands down one of the most singularly disturbing scenes in the entire manga for me! but it was!! even now I’m wincing just thinking about it. she just lifted them all up and DROPPED THEM and they just FELL and DIED. just like that. holy fucking shit. anyway, so we should all be very grateful that Ochako is super kind and sweet and more inclined towards helping people rather than murdering them. because holy shit. anyways though this quirk is dope.

16. Erasure (Aizawa)

I once said that this quirk was “not very cinematic”, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong about anything in my life. oh, past me. you truly underestimated the dramatic impact of someone with a terrifyingly powerful quirk going in for the kill, only to be all “NANI?!” as they suddenly realize that their powers are no longer working, and the camera pans over to a man with gorgeous floating hair and intense red anime eyes. I owe you an apology, Erasure. you are cinematic AF.

15. Black Hole (Thirteen)

I really wish we got to see Thirteen fight more often. they suffer from the same “too powerful” curse as so many of the other characters and it’s a shame. anyway so Black Hole is cool af and gives me a ton of Miroku/kazaana vibes, which I freaking love. this quirk is lowkey on a Tomura-level of destructive potential, honestly, and yet no one ever talks about it?? Thirteen could literally destroy anything they touched if they wanted to?? imagine if they ever Awakened, you guys. holy shit.

14. Tape (Sero)

this power is so fucking stupid and ridiculous and completely absurd and I LOVE IT. Horikoshi really drew a skinny guy with tape elbows and was all, “so this kid is basically Spider-Man but with tape. I have not put the least bit of logical thought or creative effort into this power beyond that, and I’m not going to, either.” and somehow we all just accepted it. anyway, dubious origins aside, it’s such a versatile ability and Sero has such amazing control over it. it’s offense; it’s defense; he can use it to set traps; he can use it for maneuverability. TAPE ELBOWS CAN DO IT ALL.

13. Outburst (Ms. Joke)

when will it finally be her time. Outburst is one of those powers that sounds super dumb at first, until you really stop and think what the ability to make someone laugh at will could actually DO to people. true uncontrollable belly laughter is a totally incapacitating thing. she’d have people collapsing to the ground and practically seizing up. and good luck using your own quirk to fight back when you’re doubled over struggling to breathe and can’t even see straight because of the tears in your eyes. that’s assuming any of her opponents are even capable of thinking straight long enough to try it. like, this is such a straight up brutal ability and the fact that we have still NEVER SEEN IT is honestly infuriating.

12. Glamour (Camie)

it’s an illusion quirk. of course I have to put it on my list. illusion powers make every battle approximately 100x more entertaining. and what makes this particular power even better is that in any other series, this quirk would have been given to some Tokoyami-esque super serious emo kid. but BnHA went and gave it to Karen from Mean Girls instead. what a fucking power move. goddamn.

11. Black (Kuroiro)

according to BnHA Ultra Analysis, Kuroiro’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are rated a 4 out of 6. I still haven’t figured out if this is meant to be a burn on him or not. this kid can ninja in and out of literally any dark object in existence. if it’s nighttime, that means he can basically move wherever he wants to at will. of course he’s skilled at Appearing Out of Nowhere. so tell me then, why is it ONLY a four out of six?? how could he possibly fuck this up?? who was grading him?? DOES HE JUST SUCK. I don’t know, but anyway it’s really funny to me and also I really love this quirk.

10. Transform (Toga)

Toga went and Awakened herself right into the top ten with the reveal that not only can she mimic other people’s appearances, but that while she is transformed, she can actually use their quirks. like excuse me, what?? holy shit??? it is honestly driving me crazy that we’ve only seen this in action once. Transform is basically Plot Twist: The Quirk. I really want to see Toga use it to its full potential and infiltrate U.A. and/or spy on the HPSC and/or murder someone with their loved one’s own quirk. I WANT HER TO GIVE SOMEONE THE MAES HUGHES TREATMENT. I want her to do something so shocking that people ragequit the fucking manga lol. I know I’m always saying the manga isn’t that dark, but this is honestly the one exception where I would freaking love for it to get dark as shit. anyway so yeah. if you want to fuck with people you really couldn’t ask for a better quirk.

9. Creation (Momo)

MACGUYVER: THE QUIRK. an unlimited inventory in the hands of someone brilliant enough to actually utilize it to its full extent. what’s not to love? honestly if it were me with this quirk it would be completely useless. not only would I get hopelessly bored two seconds into trying to memorize an object’s molecular structure or whatever, but even if I DID manage to figure out how to make stuff, I would never know what to do with the stuff, or when to use it. every time a new situation cropped up I would just create a bunch of random objects in a panic. but Momo is so elegant in her problem-solving that she often needs to create only one or two things to come up with the perfect solution for something. basically this is a good quirk that becomes a truly great quirk when placed in the hands of the best possible person in the world to wield it. the quirk is awesome because Momo is awesome, and I fucking adore quirks like that (see: next entry).

8. Permeation (Mirio)

ah, Mirio. the original victim of the “too powerful to be allowed” curse. remember that time he BEAT HALF OF CLASS 1-A IN UNDER SIX SECONDS, you guys. small wonder Horikoshi couldn’t even make it through one complete villain fight with him before he had to de-quirk the poor kid. anyway, so Mirio makes this quirk look so mind-blowingly awesome that it’s easy to forget what a terrifying and fucked-up power it is in reality. “yeah it makes me blind and deaf and if I’m not careful I’ll fall into the center of the earth or splice myself in two or some shit.” what the actual fuck Mirio. but because he’s worked so hard and because Nighteye trained him so well, he’s mastered the timing to such an insane degree that he could kick Overhaul in the face without harming a single hair on Eri’s body. and honestly, there’s no way I could not love a quirk that gave us a moment like that.

7. Warp Gate (Kurogiri)

unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE whose names start with Kuro, I would bet you that Kurogiri’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are a full six out of six! alas, the top ten of this list is chock full of people whose quirks are so badass that they had to be written out of the story one way or another. with Kuro at large there was technically nothing stopping the villains from just dropping in on U.A. one night to kill All Might, or rekidnap Bakugou, or whatever else they might want to do. and that’s actually a really scary thought though lol so it’s no wonder that Horikoshi was all, “yeah I’ll just have them capture him now.” anyways do you guys remember that one time in chapter 18 when Kuro used Warp Gate to create an endless loop of All Might suplexing Noumu suplexing All Might?? fucking quirks, though. wild.

6. Fiber Master (Best Jeanist)

another badass quirk, another badass quirk-user incapacitated and taken out of the story before their time. Best Jeanist is honestly terrifying. if he wanted to he could immobilize and even strangle and kill pretty much anyone in the world, whenever he fucking felt like it. that alone would be crazy enough, but then add to that that this quirk for all intents and purposes is basically telekinesis. as long as someone is wearing clothing he can move them around however he wants, as we saw in Kamino. basically, everything Hawks can do with Fierce Wings, Jeanist can probably do with his own quirk. AND THAT INCLUDES FLYING, YOU GUYS. the more I think about it the more I think we truly were robbed. I need Jeanist to come back already and fly everyone at Jakku to safety and tie Tomura to a chair with his own cape before proceeding to style his hair.

5. Rewind (Eri)

IT’S MY LIST!! I CAN PUT WHATEVER I WANT, AND IF YOU SAY I CAN’T, I’M TELLING MOM. okay but listen. everyone always rags on this quirk and how stupidly powerful it is, and look, I get it. but isn’t it kind of interesting that everyone is also always speculating over who Eri is eventually going to heal with her quirk? like, fandom is always complaining about how broken it is but at the same time they’re out here hatching all of these wild theories that center around it. and to me that indicates that in truth, this is actually an awesome quirk -- just so long as it’s used right. obviously there have to be some major limitations or else this is just “Fix Everything: The Quirk.” thankfully, Horikoshi did limit it! it’s super dangerous, she has trouble controlling it, and most importantly, it’s ridiculously slow to recharge and so she can only use it once every few months. it’s basically Recovery Girl’s quirk with a bonus slow-replenishing stamina bar that, once charged, allows her to release one ultra-powerful SUPER HEAL special move. and that’s pretty awesome. basically I think this quirk gets too much hate and not enough credit for the additional menu options it adds to the story. it’s interesting and compelling and I can’t wait to see what Horikoshi does with it.

4. Dark Shadow (Tokoyami)

TOKOYAMI WHY IS YOUR QUIRK SENTIENT. Existential Crisis: The Quirk. do quirks have souls?? if you shot Tokoyami with a quirk-be-gone bullet would Dark Shadow fucking die??? if Tomura absorbed Tokoyami’s quirk would Dark Shadow grow out of his back and be all “hey um, who the fuck are you”?? and would Toko’s head turn back into a normal human boy head?? would Dark Shadow look like Tomura instead of a bird shadow?? what even IS Dark Shadow, actually?? obviously it is not just a shadow because shadows can’t punch people or shield people from attacks or pick people up and fly them around. but yet he’s afraid of fire and grows weaker in daylight?? is Tokoyami secretly the strongest character in the entire series?? is there any way I can possibly justify putting this quirk all the way down at #4 instead of #1 where it clearly belongs?? let me answer that question by not answering it and moving on.

3. Explosion (Bakugou)

is the fix in?? is “exploding hands” really a better quirk than a fucking sentient monster man who lives in your belly button and reads your mind and is made of ~darkness energy~ and is your best friend? apparently the answer is yes! to both of those questions. yes the fix is in. I love Kacchan and his quirk is fucking awesome okay. it just never ceases to amaze me how this one single quirk, which really only does one thing, is nonetheless so spectacularly powerful that it allows Bakugou to compete on the same level as the fucking protagonist with all of his godlike super-strength and Main Character Powers and wacky SIXQUIRKS!! shenanigans. in my opinion the coolest thing about Explosion isn’t even its firepower; it’s the way Bakugou’s adapted it to fly around and to boost his speed. I think he legit may be the fastest character in the series right now, or close to it. he’s faster than Iida and Gran Torino and Endeavor. he can keep up with Deku without breaking a sweat. and he knows how to use that speed, thanks to his insane reflexes. add in the fact that this is also without a doubt the most cinematic quirk in the entire series, and I think I’m justified in putting it this high up. and anyway I still put two others up above it so shh.

2. Search (Ragdoll/Tomura)

Hey, What’s That Guy’s Deal: The Quirk. I just really love this one you guys. it’s so fucking useful. Video Game HUD: The Quirk. one hundred people at a time?? locations and weak points?? works even when you’re not looking at the person anymore and have blinked your eyes, unlike CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE’S weak-ass quirks?? check, check, and check. is it any wonder AFO wanted this? plus it just looks so damn cool. the visual representation of everyone as little stars on a map. Turn On Location: The Quirk. okay look I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining why I have this quirk all the way up at number two. it just has this subtle badassness to it, and its introduction after almost two hundred chapters of buildup was just so fucking cool. maybe it’s recency bias?? I don’t even know; all I know is that I love this quirk and want to see more of it in action.

1. Blackwhip (Lariat/Deku)

listen, I was obsessed with this quirk back when it was called “Venom” and was by far the absolute coolest part of the 1990s Spider-Man cartoon series. I’m not just going to suddenly not be obsessed with it just because fandom is mad that Horikoshi gave Deku an additional power beyond just Smashing Stuff. Blackwhip is hands down the coolest quirk, guys. I’m sorry, it just is. it has the coolest name. it had the coolest entrance. it does basically anything you could ever want a quirk to do in battle. it grabs stuff. it Bloops. what more do you want. you’re all just jealous because you wish that you could Bloop too. I know I am. I wish I had a Bloop. anyway so yeah, Blackwhip is the upgrade to Deku’s fighting style that we desperately needed after 200+ chapters of Delaware Smashes and Broken Bones. all his fights are cooler now. he can save more people! he can fight without instantly dying! plus you just gotta love powers that occasionally explode out of control if their user gets all emotional and pissed off about the fact that you insulted his boyfriend. so yeah. Blackwhip at number one! on this list of favorite quirks. not best quirks!! jesus christ. please don’t kill me I have a family.

so that’s my list! all 3000 words of it. how does this keep happening.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bnha ranking #bnha top ten #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

93 notes · View notes

inuyasha1sasuke · 4 years

Text

Be Somebody

Chapter 1:

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

Ash Ketchum's voice struck the Hearthome City's pokemon center as if it were a victim of one of Pikachu's electrifying thunderbolt attacks, shaking the cores of everyone who had the misfortune of being in the lobby at that time of night.

Paul cringed at the ferocity of his voice, but otherwise showed no other emotion than an irritated annoyance after slinging the soothe bell he had won at the tag battle alongside Ash at the competition earlier that day.

Ash had thankfully managed to catch the small bell before it crashed into him, carelessly throwing it onto the table before rising from his seat, ready to confront his assaulter who was only a mere few feet away.

"You can have that." Paul's voice was haughty and arrogant as he gave a nonchalant wave of his hand gesturing towards the sooth bell that had just been thrusted into Ash's care. He had began to turn on his heel and head back to his room before Ash roughly grabbed a shoulder, forcing him back around.

"Why are you such a prick?!" he shouted angrily. " You could've handed it to me like a normal person!"

"There's nothing normal about you," Paul said calmly despite the situation. He smacked Ash's hand off his shoulder as if it burned him, disgusted.

By this point, a small crowd of trainers had their attention caught on the scene, blatantly staring as the events unfolded. Dawn and Brock shared a weary look, both rising in case it was necessary to step in. At her desk, Nurse Joy kept a watchful eye on the pair.

"Says the guy with fucking purple hair. Why don't you want the thing, anyway? We won it; I have my half of the set and you have yours!" Ash practically screamed, getting in the other trainer's face.

"That's exactly it. I don't need a half to a whole. Keep it."

Ash blanched.

"What the hell, Paul. You don't want it just because I own the other half? Are you fucking kidding me."

Paul turned around, leaving Ash the view of his retreating back as he began heading toward the corridor that led to his room.

"My reasons for not wanting it are none of your concern," he said simply, not sparing his rival a second glance as he continued his pace.

"Yeah, just go on to bed, Paul. That's the best thing for you; It's past bedtime for childish pricks like you anyway."

Paul stopped, turned around, and stared.

Ash stared back.

An almost palpable tension filled the room as the bystanders watched in anticipation, nudging eachother playfully to pay attention and watch the impending fight as if it were a game.

Before things could escalate, Brock gave an exasperated sigh and stood in front of Ash, facing him.

"Don't goad him, Ash. Be the bigger man here, and just let it go."

Ash gave an incredulous look at the man blocking his way.

"Brock--" he began, stepping a foot forward, but was immediately cut off by Brock's menacing voice and hands on his shoulders.

"No. Do you see this attention we're attracting? Do you want to be thrown out? Think for once, Ash."

He gritted his teeth, fists balling up painfully as he realized Brock was right. He was absolutely livid. What for? This wasn't the first time Paul had been an asshole to him and it certainly wasn't the last. He'd be seeing him again anyway. Maybe then he could finally knock his lights out, preferably when Brock wasn't looking.

By the time he finally snapped back into reality, Paul had already rounded the corner on the path back up to his room. Ash exhaled sharply, unclenching his fists. Feeling Brock's hands leave his shoulders, he looks up.

From across the room, Nurse Joy shoots him a reprimanding look as he notices they had had an audience. One by one, trainers left the room once they'd realize the entertainment for the day was over which left the trio to themselves in the lobby to ponder things.

"Ash, you really need to learn to control yourself," the cerulean-haired girl reminded him, put out and exhausted by the previous drama. Brock and Ash both rejoined her at the table, forgotten coffee long gone cold.

Ash choked his down anyway, mainly to avoid his worried companion's statement as Brock sifted a hand through dark brown locks.

"If I'm still alive by the end of all of this, it'll be a miracle," he half-joked, leaning back in his seat as he glanced over at Ash. He was quiet now, and that was never a good thing.

"Look on the bright side, atleast you've got another sooth bell!" Dawn chirped, trying to ease some of the tension in the atmosphere around them. She picked up the tiny ball of silver by it's ribbon, the slight movement causing the bell to emit a soothing jingle that instantly made the teen smile.

"Should've rung it much earlier," Brock joked.

"Yeah, it could've saved us a lot of problems," she grinned, turning in Ash's direction who was currently moping beside of Brock.

Brock noticed the girl's switch of attention. He too looked beside him at the sullen-eyed boy, silent in his thoughts.

"Why so quiet?" he nudged the raven-haired boy beside him with his elbow. He only received an irritated look in return.

"Don't tell me he got to you," Dawn teased, taking a final sip of her tea before gently setting the cup back onto the table.

"Fuck off, both of you. I'm just thinking."

Used to her friend's constant abrasiveness, Dawn replied, "That's what's scaring us."

Finally having enough of their humor, Ash abandons his thoughts and decides to answer his probing friends accordingly.

"I'm just pissed off. No matter how much I think on it, I just can't understand why he's like the way he is. I've tried being civil with him. Hell, I've tried to be his friend, but he just fuckin' brushes me off with some smartass insult. I don't even have to look at him and I've somehow already offended his ass just by breathing the same fucking air as him! This shit's really starting to get on my nerves!" he grumbled loudly in his frustration, beyond irritated for the night. Dawn looked at Brock desperately, hoping he could diffuse Ash's anger.

As if somehow hearing her silent plea, Brock spoke up. "Don't think too much on it, Ash. Some people just are the way they are; there's no changing it."

"No, I'm tired of constantly running into him and getting into fights. It seems like it's every other fucking day. I turn around, right there he is, no matter where I go! How it's not affecting you guys I'll never know, but this shit's got to stop before I drive myself crazy!" He pounded his fist onto the table for emphasis, causing the empty coffee mug to clatter in its place.

"Alright Ash, just calm down. It is affecting us, but we just try not to let it get to us because that's exactly what Paul wants. Just don't let him know you're mad; act apathetic. Ignore him. Something besides yelling and fighting." Brock sighed, exasperated.

"Easy for you guys to say. He's not directing any of that shit at you; it's to me."

Giving up, the older man replied, "Well, I don't know what to tell you, Ash. Ignoring him is the only thing I can think of. He'll eventually get tired of it, and move on."

It was a commonly thought up way to get rid of school bullies, so he didn't know why it wouldn't apply to their current predicament. It was worth a try, and quite frankly the only rational solution he had for Ash.

"I'll just beat his ass and make him move on."

Ofcourse, he forgot for a moment that Ash was anything but rational.

Brock sighed. "No violence, Ash. Please."

Dawn had been silent through most of their conversation, but it had become apparent by her next response that her mind had been occupied, trying to solve their dilemma while the two before her bickered.

"You know, I was thinking. I've heard that abusive people were often abused themselves as children. Maybe that's his problem?" She ventured, hoping her two companions would see her logic.

"Who knows?"

Ash snorted. "Yeah, maybe his parents were the ones who shoved that stick up his ass. He just needs help getting it out."

"Ash!" Dawn grimaced. "Be nice! I'm being serious here. Maybe they never showed him any attention, and that's why he's constantly onto you for every little thing?" She tried, wishing her companion would be serious for once. "You always respond to Paul's snide remarks, and give as good as you get. He knows you're an easy target because of that."

"I can't imagine Paul begging for attention." Brock cut in, ignoring the lewd boy's comment.

It was true; Paul definitely didn't appear to be the type to want any sort of attention from anyone, but it was the only answer they had for his behavior.

"Easy target? Fuck you. But whatever the hell his problem is, I'm damn determined to get to the bottom of it. I'm seriously about to go mad here." Ash announced, expression gone stern.

"We can't have that." Dawn joked.

"Maybe I should start bugging the shit out of him left and right. Maybe I'll be able to get something of use out of him and figure out his problem."

"I guess it's worth a shot, but not so good for us. I have a feeling we'd only be breaking up a fight in the end, as always." Brock had always played as referee for Ash and whoever happened to piss him off at the time. Without him, he was sure Ash would have already been into deep trouble long before now.

"No, no fighting this time. I want to startle him; make him wonder. Make him talk," he smirked, feeling a great idea coming on. Brock was genuinely surprised at his comment.

Dawn couldn't help but to laugh at that first statement. "Ash, you seriously expect us to believe you when you say no more fights with him?"

"Yep."

She shook her head. "You're out of your mind."

"Maybe." He agreed. "But I'll try anything once."

"If you say so."

There was a comfortable silence after their talk which signaled their strategy for Paul had come to a close. The lobby around them was devoid of any people save for Nurse Joy scribbling up a few health reports behind the main desk. The sound of pen to paper was suddenly deafening in the silence of the night.

"It's getting late, guys. I think it's time for us to head back up to our rooms for the night and give poor Nurse Joy a break." Upon saying this Brock stood, quietly pushing in his chair while hoping the other two had officially given up for the night to follow him.

"Always thinking of women, no matter the situation." Dawn snickered, gathering their cups and pushing them to the edge of the table for the clean-up crew.

"Naturally," the breeder agreed proudly.

"Come on, Ash, before I drag you back up to the room. Can't stay in the lobby all night."

Ash sighed and finally rose to his feet, following his two companions. Something told him it was going to be a long night.

It was late, sometime past two in the morning, and Ash couldn't sleep. It was a pretty rare occurrence for the trainer. Under normal circumstances, as soon as his head hit the pillow he was as good as gone and completely out of it until late the next morning, earning him some pretty irritable comrades due to his late sleeping habits. But this time was different. This time, he was pissed off. And thoughtful. The mixture of the two equaled a sleepless night on his part.

He was restless, tossing and turning as images of Paul's apathetic yet somehow smug expression haunted his mind at every turn. Just that face was enough to send him overboard with rage; every word that came out of the teen's mouth always shot right through him no matter what he said. Even the way the guy walked pissed him off, and that's when he knew he had a problem. When he had realized this, it only caused him to think more, thus creating a never-ending chain of thoughts when he told himself he needed to sleep again and again, but every single time his mind drifted right back to him. At this point, he was more enraged at himself more than anyone.

What if I'm the one with the problem here? Am I just thinking too much on this shit?

He stared at a blank spot on the ceiling that was illuminated by the moonlight as his mind rolled, forehead creased in irritation.

Why the hell am I second-guessing myself because of him?

He had had enough. No way in hell was he going to lay there and actually blame himself for what was going on. It was that bastard's fault, plain and simple.

Except next time, he wasn't going to be such an easy target.

With that thought, he wrestled with the covers until he was up and out of bed. It was useless to try and sleep when all his mind did was race and think up ridiculous scenarios that even he was confused about.

Pikachu stirred with the motion, but never awoke at the foot of his bed. He continued to sleep peacefully along with the rest of Ash's friends as the trainer slipped on some shoes and quietly left their quarters.

The night air was cool against his bare skin as he walked to no destination in particular. The city lights off in the distance were like a far away memory, barely touching the forest around him outside the center. The lights and noise were blurred and could be easily overlooked with the constant chirping of kricketune echoing around him. All in all it was a peaceful night, and he sighed at the serenity. It almost reminded him of his childhood nights back in Pallet with Gary, chasing after the many nocturnal pokemon until Ash's mother called for them to come home. He smiled at the memory. He was under the same sky, the same stars, and that atleast gave him comfort.

He thought about his mother, and how it had been a few months since he had even spoke to her last. He knew she was worried; she would have called herself by now if she had known exactly which center he was at or even what town he was in. She was all by herself, minding their home with Mr. Mime while he was out living his dream, or trying to. He knew it got lonely for her, and he almost felt sorry for leaving her there like that. He still remembered the helpless look on her tearful face the day he set out on his journey outside Professor Oak's laboratory. It had almost made him forfeit any plans and dreams just to stay with her, but someone in their family had to make something of themselves. And that someone had to be him; there wasn't anyone else.

His father left them like a coward, never to be seen again after telling them he was going away for a little while to try and find a way to get them out of that poverty, and was to never be seen again. His mother was still hopeful though, claiming he would come back to them, and that he just had a rough road getting to where he needed to be. Where he needed to be was with his family, Ash had tried explaining to her a myriad of times. He had no clue why she felt the need to take up for him, constantly onto him when he spoke even a single ill word of the man. Anybody who could just up and leave their family in a guise of getting help for them was a total piece of shit in his book. The bastard could die for all he cared; he and his mother made it without him then and they continued to do it up until this very day.

Admittedly, it was hard at first. Just being a single mother was difficult enough, but she also had to find a part time job ontop of finding a reliable baby-sitter and figure out how to put food on the table. There was the matter of bills also. He couldn't count the number of times they were borderline homeless, sitting at an empty kitchen table in the dark with their stomach's growling. He remembered having to stay with Professor Oak quite a few times with Gary while his mother worked extra hours. Despite it all, they scraped by, and they made it out miraculously. He was proud, and would forever be proud of her.

He smiled. He may be brash, rambunctious, loud and outspoken, but he would forever and always be a mama's boy. He would always need his mother, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He made a mental note to call her in the morning, to see what she was into and to give her an update on his well-being. He always made sure to never go long periods of time without contacting her, especially not after the stunt his father pulled. He could sense her anxiety after forgetting to call like he had promised once he reached the next town, repeatedly apologizing and explaining that he had just got side-tracked with new people and new pokemon, and that how he would never lie and leave her like that bastard did. After reassuring her several times she would finally settle down, and he would breathe a sigh of relief then later clench his fist that things had to be this way.

So he made a not-so-silent vow, a vow to win the pokemon league and to bring back that trophy for her. He would make her proud, like she did with him. He'd make sure she'd never have to work another day in her life; he'd make sure she'd be happy, and he would never leave her all alone again.

And in order to do that, he would have to beat Paul.

Paul was one tough trainer, he'd give him that much. After all, Ash had yet to beat the guy. He remembered the day he first saw the trainer, out in the woods catching a few Starly for himself only to let them go after learning their level and abilities through his pokedex. They apparently weren't good enough for him. That had angered Ash more than anything, so ofcourse he immediately confronted him and the two had a pissing contest then and there with Ash sharing his opinions on how to properly catch and train pokemon. That day he had learned how different trainers really could be, and how he and Paul were complete opposites. Wasn't one reason why people decided to become trainers was because of their love for pokemon? But this boy had no compassion for them whatsoever, belittling them and talking down to them if they weren't up to his standards right off the bat. Ash swore to himself that he would never understand him for as long as he lived.

It was strange. If Paul's methods were so wrong, then why was he such a successful trainer? Why wasn't Ash able to beat him? That was one of the main things that bothered Ash about the boy. It's what kept him up on sleepless nights like these, wondering what he himself was doing wrong.

He walked a little deeper into the woods beside the center, and paused in his tracks as he saw a crackling light of electricity a little further up, along with a menacing voice that sounded awfully familiar. He frowned as he watched the lights continue, this time followed by sparks of fire and a few distant crashes. He had his suspicions as to who it was out this late at night, and it almost made him turn back altogether to avoid him, but curiosity got the better of him.

He continued on quietly, avoiding twigs and leaves to make sure not to alert anyone of his presence. Once he deemed himself close enough, he hid himself securely behind a thick tree, almost in the midst of all the commotion. Peeking inconspicuously around the tree, a shock of lavender hair was the first thing that greeted his vision with the boy's back turned.

It was definitely Paul alright, stern voice shouting out orders to his pokemon who executed them perfectly amidst the chaos. Ash hid behind the tree again in awe.

He's training...! That idiot is training at almost three in the morning!

And he had never been so ashamed of himself in his life.

Instead of wasting time wondering what I'm doing wrong compared to him, I could be out training like he is day and night. Maybe that's my damn problem. He doesn't let shit like this distract him--

"You're fucking worthless."

Any further thoughts Ash had immediately halted at that cold voice. At first, he almost thought he had been caught, but upon further inspection Paul had been talking to his pokemon. Ash felt a fire build up inside him that replaced the shame before he even turned to look at the scene before him.

And Ash regretted it immediately.

Paul's team was there, but not completely the same team he had at their tag battle earlier. This was a different team, a team that had been so obviously and tortuously neglected to the point their bodies suffered for it physically and emotionally.

The team Paul was currently "training" Ash hadn't seen before except for Chimchar and Elekid. His team consisted of Murkrow, Azumarill, Stantler, and Weavile. And not a single thing was right about the situation.

It was one thing to verbally abuse your pokemon with harsh words like Ash had always been aware Paul had done, but it was something else to starve and beat them. Ash shook in his spot with concealed rage as he saw a malnourished Stantler, ribs poking from its sides with singed fur in patches, laying on the sidelines as it licked at it's wounds.

A very frail looking Weavile was currently attacking the Azumarill as Murkrow was attacking from above in a three way battle. The Azumarill's water gun was extremely weak and definitely not what it should have been, struggling to keep the attack up. The Murkrow had a hard time staying afloat in the air, wings exhausted with black feathers falling with the effort. It was very clear the pokemon hadn't eaten in at least a few days judging from their size and state, and Ash Ketchum was in absolute shock.

Elekid shot out another thunderbolt before him as Chimchar dodged accordingly. Elekid kept up its attacks as Chimchar continued to dodge.

"Is that all you can do is dodge?!" Paul shouted at the chimp as it moved about. Ash noticed the pokemon visibly cringe.

"How the hell do you expect to win completely on defense?! You're useless!" And with that, Paul picked up the nearest rock and launched it at the pokemon, the same exact way he had thrown the sooth bell at Ash earlier that day. It hit the chimp harshly as it cried out in pain. Paul picked up another rock, nearing closer.

"Learn to attack effectively! Until then you're absolutely useless to me!"

He reared his arm back, ready to throw the rock in hand again while the chimp prepared for the blow.

But it never came.

"What the absolute FUCK, Paul?!"

Ash Ketchum immediately shot out from behind the tree, seizing any further movements from Paul by grabbing his wrist harshly and restraining him, catching the other trainer completely off guard. Everything around them stopped.

"Holy fucking shit! Have you really been treating your pokemon this way?! I can't fucking believe you! Give me one reason not to beat the hell out of you right now!!"

Ash felt like crying he was so furious. His mind was in turmoil, his gut churning uncomfortably. He absolutely could not believe that Paul could ever be like this. Ash knew he had issues, but this? His fists shook uncontrollably, and without thinking, he grabbed both of Paul's wrists and pulled them up over his head. Slamming his back into the tree he had just came out behind, Ash held him against it, daring him to try and break free.

"Why the hell were you spying on me? Don't you have anything better to do at 3AM?" Paul asked calmly, staring into Ash's enraged eyes without a care in the world.

Ash was in disbelief.

"That's not the fucking issue here! Stop trying to change the subject! Don't you realize this constitutes as fucking abuse, Paul?! Do you think they deserve that?!" Ash practically screamed in his face, breathing through clenched teeth at Paul's blatant disregard at the state of his pokemon.

"Just look around you, you piece of shit! How long have they been like this?! Why are you fucking ignoring it?! How can you call yourself a trainer?! God, I have so many questions for you!!"

Ash's grip didn't lighten up even the slightest on Paul, nails digging into his wrists, free hand pushing his shoulder roughly against the trunk of the tree, bark digging into the other trainer's back uncomfortably. But still, Paul didn't give, simply staring down the raven-haired male who was breathing heavily in anger, waiting for a response.

It seemed like an eternity had passed before Paul said anything, but when he did, it was as if the forest itself went completely silent around them.

"They're fucking nothing, Ash. They have no feelings."

Ash's heart stopped cold.

Slowly, he lowered his hands, letting go of Paul's wrists which were throbbing painfully from the lack of blood supply. He freed his shoulder, no longer pushing into him. Ash stepped back with wide eyes, and stood frozen in his spot.

"How can you say that?" he whispered, shock still apparent on his features.

Immediately, he thought of Pikachu, always by his side since the beginning. All of their victories, their losses, the late nights he spent with his long-time friend pondering over things. The good times, the bad times, all of their experiences. The times they laughed, the times they cried...

"They're everything," he breathed.

Ash grabbed the apathetic trainers shirt, dragging him forward roughly. "They're fucking everything, Paul! They've allotted you a dream! Because without them, what is a pokemon master? What is a pokemon trainer?! Without them, where would you even be right now?!"

No feelings? He thought of Chimchar, and the hurt expression across the small pokemon's face as Paul had launched that rock at him and called him useless after he had tried his best to impress his trainer. His heart almost shattered at the memory. It would forever haunt him for months to come.

As soon as he heard Paul's next response, Ash shot back into reality.

"Without them, I would've had a fucking family, Ash."

Ash looked incredulous. "Just what the hell do you mean by that? How is that their fault?!" he shouted, confused.

"You wouldn't understand." Paul said instead, clearly bothered by something, eyes overcast.

"Try me!" Ash spat.

"How could you understand? Mommy checks up on you at every pokemon center you stop at!" Ash seemed to have hit a pretty sore spot for Paul, apathetic expression disappearing into something more sinister.

Ash was enraged at the foul mention of his mother.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but you leave my fucking mother out of this!"

And with that, Ash punched him square in the jaw. Paul's back slammed into the trunk of the tree behind him, catching him from falling backwards onto the ground and injuring himself further.

"I should've done that a long damn time ago!"

What started as a yelling match ended up in an all-out brawl between the two. As Paul wiped off the blood that dribbled from his now-swollen lip, he launched himself at Ash, eyes fierce. That was the most emotion Ash had ever saw from him, and he burned it in his memory. The two hit the ground hard as Paul straddled Ash, pinning him in place. Before Ash felt the pain of Paul's returning punch, the weight on his torso suddenly lifted, and he felt light once again. He laid there on the ground confused.

Before him stood Nurse Joy and a Machamp, all four of the pokemon's arms enclosed around Paul, holding the irate trainer in place as he struggled.

"What on earth are you two doing out fighting at three in the morning?! I knew there was going to be trouble when you two started at it in the lobby earlier!"

The adrenaline in Ash's veins began to slow itself as he realized the reality of the situation around him. He had completely forgotten where they were for a second having been lost in his anger at Paul.

He was dumbstruck, unsure of what to say at the moment while Nurse Joy stood before him on the ground in her night slippers as the Machamp she used as her security pokemon quietly held Paul in place, staring down at him menacingly.

"If one more mishap like this occurs, both of you will be immediately kicked out of the center. This is your last warning. It needs to be a peaceful environment for both pokemon and trainers in order to promote healing. You are disrupting that, and also my sleep!" She informed him angrily, looking back and forth between Paul and himself.

Ash suddenly snapped out of whatever trance he had been in. "Nurse Joy, have you seen his pokemon?! They're extremely malnourished and abused! You'll thank me for beating the shit out of him once you take a look!"

She grimaced at Ash's rude choice of words, but looked around anyway.

It took only a second for her to react. She gasped in horror at their state; bones jutting out, patches of fur missing, burn marks... The light in their eyes was gone.

She was mortified.

She stood speechless for a few more moments, taking in her surroundings. All of Paul's pokemon were long since exhausted, resting on the ground looking pitiful. Ash couldn't help but to notice that none of them were concerned about the giant Machamp currently taking Paul hostage. He completely understood their dismissal of the situation.

A noise in the bushes caught his attention as Nurse Joy continued her observation of the horrible scene around them. Before he knew it, he had a face full of warm bright yellow fur. It took his exhausted mind a moment to register what exactly it was that invaded his senses so suddenly.

"Pikachu!" He automatically smiled as the yellow mouse burrowed its head under Ash's chin lovingly, happily chittering as it adjusted itself into its trainer's arms. It was moments like these that made him truly wonder how anyone could be cruel to these creatures. He clutched Pikachu to his chest protectively, watching the sorrowful and appalled look on Nurse Joy's stricken face as she examined each pokemon individually for any life-threatening wounds. They were compliant under her skilled hands, probably just relieved to have help.

Pikachu must've woken up due to all of his shouting, noticing his trainer not in bed where he should have been so he went to find him. He couldn't help but to smile. It was nice knowing he was cared for, that someone was waiting on him to get back and depended on him like Pikachu did. It gave him a sense of purpose.

Tiny yellow paws kneaded themselves into Ash's shirt, calming him down considerably. Pikachu was what helped keep him sane at times like this, and he was forever thankful.

He looked up at Paul, still bound by Nurse Joy's Machamp, and he felt any left over anger at the trainer suddenly vanish.

Paul didn't have anyone, not even his own pokemon at this point.

Ash couldn't possibly imagine not having the emotional support of pokemon, of friends. Paul did it all alone; it was him against the world. He sneered at anything in his way and talked down to everyone, all the while trying to get to where he wanted to be.

But what he didn't understand was those things were the exact reason why he hasn't gotten there yet.

What could have happened to him to make him like this?

He remembered Dawn's statement earlier, and it replayed in his head, "...Abusive people were often abused themselves as children." That's what she had said. Paul's eyes met with his instantly, but not a word was spoken between the two. Paul had appeared to calm down as well. Ash was relieved.

His expression was blank, and Ash desperately wished he knew what went through the trainer's head on days like these. He just wanted to understand him; to understand why he tormented him so mercilessly everytime he passed by and why he haunted his thoughts.

He just wanted answers.

Nurse Joy approached them once again, obviously shaken, but her voice never wavered when she said to Paul, "If not for your pokemon needing serious treatment, I would have you kicked out of here, here and now!"

The trainer remained silent in the pokemon's arms.

"I'll also be turning you in for pokemon abuse first thing in the morning, so prepare for your license and pokemon to be taken away permanently. It shouldn't have that much of an affect on you seeing how you treat your pokemon. You don't need them."

Ash quickly stood up from his place on the ground, Pikachu in arms. He couldn't believe his ears.

It was only for a moment, but he saw the wide-eyed expression on his rival's face; the look of panic, the look of hopelessness...

The Machamp released Paul upon Nurse Joy's orders. He stood silently in that same spot, sporting a swollen purpled jaw thanks to Ash's earlier handiwork. It probably would've physically pained him to talk anyway.

"It would be wise for the two of you to head on back to bed to avoid any more trouble. Things will be dealt with in the morning. But for now, I'm taking these pokemon in for immediate treatment. I'll have their health reports for you in the morning, if you even care to know of their well-being," she glared at Paul, cradling a starving, exhausted Chimchar in her hands. The Machamp dealt with the rest of Paul's pokemon, carefully picking them up one by one with strong arms, being mindful of any injuries.

Ash couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let Paul's dream be taken away, regardless of how much of a dick he was to his own pokemon. To make it worse, Paul wasn't even arguing; he just stood there in the same place looking dejected, not having moved an inch.

"Aren't you going to do something? Say something atleast? She's literally carrying your dreams away right in front of you!" Ash voiced the panic Paul was too afraid to show.

"What can I do?" he asked, voice hoarse as he watched Nurse Joy make her way back to the center with the very things he devoted the past few years of his life for. To anyone else it would appear that Paul just simply didn't care, but Ash knew better. He saw it in his stance, the way his voice slightly wavered, that single instant of panic that shrouded his features for a split second when Nurse Joy mentioned his license, the way his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides...

He trained those pokemon like hell, put them through hell, and for what? He wasn't even going to fight for them? He was out training them at 3am for fucking what?

Even if it was only all for himself, why would anyone willingly let all of that hard work go to waste? He had been training them so hard for a reason, and Ash knew Paul--he wasn't the type of person who could just throw away the things he put years of hard work into. Paul didn't do anything in vain. Why the hell was he giving up so easily?

But, more importantly, why the hell did Ash care so much?

"Oh, I don't know, maybe run the fuck after her and talk to her? Maybe explain your actions? Stop standing there looking like your life just ended and do something!" He shouted, stepping forward.

"That's your damn problem, you just give up too easily. Catching pokemon, looking at their level then later releasing them because you think they're too weak and not worth the time if they don't know a certain move right off the bat. You're in for a pretty rude awakening if you think you can continue about life that easily. And you're about to learn the hard way."

With that said, Ash left him, running after Nurse Joy.

You fucking owe me for this, Paul.

It was about 3:45 in the morning when Ash caught up with Nurse Joy in the pokemon center lobby. She was in the back tending to Paul's pokemon, or former pokemon. Ash desperately hoped that he could change that.

He waited by the desk in the lobby until she finished, Pikachu on his shoulder. Words couldn't describe how exhausted he was after the nights events, so he hoped his talk with Nurse Joy would go over well. The woman had been extremely upset at the condition of Paul's pokemon, so he knew what he was about to do wouldn't be an easy task.

If this works, I'll be having a serious talk with him tomorrow about the shit he's done.

He was still in shock how Paul ever had it in him to treat his pokemon in such a way. How long had this been happening without his knowledge? The team Ash had always saw him with seemed fine physically, but the team Ash saw last night he had never seen before that. Paul probably didn't want anyone seeing them due to their condition. But if that was the case, why was Paul even training them to begin with because someone would see them in the battles he used them in? Paul was an enigma that Ash just couldn't figure out, but he was willing to. He wasn't going to let Paul get away with the abuse of his pokemon, but he didn't want the trainer to lose his license permanently. Ash's only option was to give him a good talking to in hopes that he would actually heed his advice. Knowing Paul, it definitely wouldn't be easy. Nothing about the situation was easy, but Ash had to do something. And if Ash helping Paul would get him off his back and stop his sleepless nights, he'd be more than willing to help.

A moment later Nurse Joy appeared, the door behind her shutting softly, jerking Ash from his thoughts. She regarded him as she sat at her computer desk, messing with a few documents before asking, "Can I help you with something? You need to be in bed."

"Listen, about what happened," Ash started. He sensed her hostile mood towards him, so he tried to pick his words carefully. "I know the whole situation sucks; the way he treated his pokemon sucks, but... atleast give the guy another chance."

Nurse Joy quirked an eyebrow in disbelief. "You were in a fight with him moments before, now you want me to give him another chance? Not only that, but you saw the condition of his pokemon just as well as I did. I can't believe you're asking this of me. There's no way I could ever give someone who has treated their pokemon that cruelly another chance." She informed him bluntly, turning away from him towards her computer. She immediately began inputting information in an online database, only half-minding him now.

"Okay, look, let me start over. I'm not good with words," he said desperately, putting both hands on the desk as if it would better catch her attention. He couldn't believe he was taking up for the bastard, but Ash couldn't let him lose a dream they both shared.

"Firstly, I'm sorry for what happened earlier--both incidents. But I'm Ash Ketchum, a trainer from Pallet. Me and that guy--Paul is his name; we both share the same dream. We met just recently in our travels. Yeah, he's a prick, especially after the shit he's put his pokemon through. But I believe that deep down, his intentions are good. I honestly can't say why he's like the way he is, but I'm working on finding out if you'll just trust me."

His words just came out automatically. He was speaking from the heart, the way he always did when he felt passionate about something. Hopefully she would see how much he wanted this; sense his desperation to help someone.

She was silent, so he took this as a sign to continue.

"He's just going through some shit and needs help sorting it out. I know he's a total douchebag, but let me talk to him first. Having his license taken away would destroy him. He's young; we're all young. He's still learning. Just give him another chance. Please." He begged, trying to jerk her attention away from the computer screen.

"It would destroy him? What do you think he's done to those pokemon?" She said, sparing him a stern glance over her reading glasses before continuing to type once more.

"I know, I know... Believe me, I bitched his ass out over that, too. I plan on having a serious talk with him, not an argument, but talking with him, so I can try to understand his actions. I'm gonna get things straightened out with him. He's going to be better, if you'll just give me a chance. Give him a chance." He told her, heart beating out of his chest. He didn't understand why he was going so far for the other trainer, but he learned a long time ago never to question matters of the heart. Something told him to do this; it was his gut instinct, so he went with it.

"How do you know something like this won't happen again with him in the future? Can you guarantee that?"

"No, I can't guarantee that. I can't guarantee anything. That's why I'm asking for you to trust me. I'll change him." Determination laced his voice as he gripped the counter, his exhausted mind wishing she would just give in so he could go back to his room and sleep for the remainder of the morning. Possibly longer because it had been a long, difficult night.

"I appreciate your honesty," she said, shutting down her computer and straightening up her desk. Ash patiently waited for the rest of her response.

She paused for a moment, as if contemplating something. Then she sighed. She turned fully towards Ash, giving him her complete attention.

"I have a deal for you."

Ash's eyes met hers immediately. "Anything," he said.

She looked at him earnestly, making sure he was paying well attention. "I want you to promise me that you will not allow something like that to happen again, do you understand? And no more fighting here. Keep an eye on him for awhile to make sure he doesn't try the same stunt again. You asked me to reconsider confiscating his license, so you take responsibility for his actions until then. Clear?"

Ash stared in disbelief for a moment. taking in the information. "Holy shit, you're letting him off?" Ash answered immediately, not fully believing his ears.

She sighed. "Yes."

Ash stood, dumbfounded. "...Really?"

For the first time that night, she cracked a smile at him, unable to hold it back. "Yes. Only if you agree."

A smile split across Ash's face upon hearing her response. "Well hell yes I'll agree then! How can I ever thank you?!" He was grateful beyond belief, absolutely relieved that she actually gave in to him. He wasn't expecting it to say the least, and he was elated.

"By not causing any more trouble here. And keeping that trainer in line. That's all I'll ask of you." She said, gathering some of her belongings up.

"You're easy to please. That I can do. Thank you so much, Nurse Joy. Seriously." Ash told her sincerely, petting Pikachu happily.

"Thank me by going to bed so I can be done here. It's been a very long day. I also want you to be nearby when I relay the news to that trainer about his pokemon tomorrow, alright?" She stood, holding her belongings patiently, wanting to sleep just as much as the trainer before her did.

"Alright, sounds good. I'll be down here as soon as I wake up." He informed her, sensing the conversation coming to a close.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow...Ash, was it?" She asked, not completely sure of the raven-haired boy's name. She figured she would need it for future reference, knowing him.

"Yep! Goodnight, Nurse Joy!" He said with a backwards wave, already on his way back to his room. He was dead tired and just wanted a bed.

"Stay out of trouble. Goodnight," she bid him, making her own way out aswell.

Why Nurse Joy decided to let Paul go and give in to his pleas, he would never know. All he knew is that he owed her big time, and that he was willing to do anything on her behalf. He felt the stress literally drain out of him the moment she uttered the word yes, albeit reluctantly, and now that left him completely exhausted.

He sighed. He was glad all of that was over with for now. His head was pounding with a migraine from a lack of sleep and he knew he had to have had bags under his eyes by now. He looked horrible. Grass stained his clothes and he suffered from a sore throat due to screaming at the top of his lungs at Paul. He ran his fingers through raven locks. He definitely needed a shower, but not tonight.

Ash was halfway down the hall before he noticed a light shining underneath the door to the room he shared with his traveling companions.

Well, shit...

So much for being able to go straight to sleep.

Dawn and Brock were awake in the room when he opened the door. He mentally prepared himself for the barrage of questions.

"I guess you guys couldn't sleep either," he told them a bit sheepishly, knowing they were sure to be ill with him for going out in the middle of the night on his own and causing a ruckus. Especially after he promised no more fights only a few hours before.

"Yeah, I wonder why?" Dawn asked, sarcasm lacing her voice. She was sitting up in bed and in her night clothes, looking bedraggled.

"Beats the hell outta me. I just went out for a leisurely stroll," he said, walking into the room and locking the door behind him. Brock was sitting on the edge of his own bed by the door, scrutinizing him quietly.

"Leisurely, he says," she rolled her eyes at him, Piplup still sound asleep beside her.

"Ash, what happened this time?" Brock asked in a serious tone, noting his friend's ragged appearance. He had one guess as to what it was, or rather, who it was.

"Fuck if I know," he lied. "I just want to get in bed, I'm dead tired. I swear I'll explain everything in the morning." Sighing, he kicked off his shoes. He threw himself onto his bed across from Dawn and Brock's face down, not even bothering with the sheets. He closed his eyes a moment.

"I'm holding you to that. You do look a little worse for wear," Brock worried, looking at the grass stains and dirt across the teen's back where Paul had thrown him down. It was obvious he had gotten into some type of altercation, but Brock didn't pry further. There would be plenty of time for that in the morning.

"I'll be fine once I've had some sleep. Wake me up pretty early though, I've got to be downstairs with Nurse Joy for something," he mumbled into the mattress without any explanation.

Brock and Dawn shared a confused look.

"Ash, you better tell us what's going on first thing in the morning, or so help me--" She was cut off immediately from her threat with Ash's irritated voice.

"Alright. Damn."

"That's what I thought," she said, throwing one of the spare pillows at him. Luckily he caught it, but he flipped her off in the process.

"You wish," she told him, crawling back into her own bed and getting comfortable under the sheets.

"Not quite. Feisty blue-haired girls aren't my type," he said nonchalantly, finally sitting up to turn down the covers on his bed.

"What about moody purple-haired men?" Brock joked. Dawn nearly choked on her own spit.

He paused a moment in disbelief that Brock of all people would say that. "Shit, Brock. Who's side are you on? You're supposed to be the level-headed one of the group!" Ash griped, feeling betrayed.

"Just calling it like I see it."

"Yeah, sure. You all can fuck off now. I'm hitting the sack." He announced, turning away from them while burying himself underneath the covers of his twin bed.

"Grouch," Dawn mumbled good-naturedly.

He ignored her, but couldn't help but to grin as Brock turned off the light. He had a feeling that tomorrow would be a decent day.

#comashipping #fanfiction #fanfic #ashxpaul #be somebody #ash #paul #pokemon

40 notes · View notes

thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

Note

So I want to be a writer, which I imagine is half the job of any webcomic creator. I’m big into fantasy, sci-fi, and horror: some of my favorite authors are Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, and Ray Bradbury, to name a few. The problem is, every time I read a story by them, I always get depressed, because their ideas always seem so original, and they make my ideas seem derivative. Do you have any advice for how I can come up with more original ideas, or become a better writer overall? Thank you so much

If there’s one big epiphany I’ve made in my time as a critic and a writer, it’s that ideas are over-rated. Here are a few free ones off the top of my head.

1. A Saturday morning cartoon villain goes back in time to win the Trojan War for the Trojans in the hope of winning the favor of the gods.

2. A rabbit with a degenerative eye condition sets out on a quest for the legendary carrot of eyesight in a coming of age reflection on dealing with loss.

3. Space explorers land on a distant planet and are startled to discover that Thomas Jefferson is alive there.

4. A “Space Western”, but backwards, with a bunch of scientists exploring the old west and encountering Star Trek anomalies.

5. A race of giant robots breeds humans to fight monsters for them

6. An undercover gynecologist solves a murder mystery

7. A bunch of teens are trapped on a boat and the only way out is to kill one of their friends

8. “Cheers” but it’s the Mos Eisley Cantina

9. An amnesiac searching for his true identity wants to go where everybody knows his name

10. Moses accidentally comes down with the bill of rights instead of the ten commandments, establishing a new religion who oppress people who want to let soldiers quarter in their house

I came up with these ideas through a time-honored method of just starting to write stuff down and continuing to write even if the words I was writing didn’t make much sense, then cleaned it up a little. You can even see the thread of logic connecting “Space western, but backwards” to “Giant Robot, but backwards” and from “Robots breed humans” to “gynecologist”. If you just force yourself to put pencil to paper and keep moving it without thinking about if the ideas are any good or not, you’ll have tons of ideas and thenn you can look at it the next day with a fresh mind and pick your favorites”.

“But Daniel”, I hear you say “Those ideas suck”. To which I respond “So do ‘A space spider pretends to be a sewer clown’ and ‘A hotel makes you evil and coincidentally your son is a wizard’, and ‘what if the guy who makes dreams is an asshole’“. What makes these ideas good isn’t that they’re good ideas, it’s that they’re executed very well. They’re explored, they’re edited, they’re rewritten, they’re polished, and bam, everyone goes wow Neil Gaiman how do you have such great ideas.

If you go back and look at those stupid ideas, all of which I made up just now, you start to see how there’s potential in a lot of them, you just got to give it a little thought. Let’s go through a few.

A rabbit with a degenerative eye condition sets out on a quest for the legendary carrot of eyesight in a coming of age reflection on dealing with loss

This one seems closest to a “complete” idea. We’ve got a character, a plot, an implied “there is no carrot” ending, and even a theme. It’s a bummer of a theme, but there are lots of bummery cartoons about adventures.

youtube

For more evidence on why ideas don’t matter as much as execution: I’m not the only one who noticed that Brave Little Story has the same premise and even the same “find master” plot as Toy Story, but Toy Story isn’t really a BLT rip-off because it executes on those ideas differ-did the vacuum just pee?

And since we know the basic structure of the plot and the thing we’re trying to say, the rest of the story starts to write itself. This seems like a great fit for some kind of episodic story, with the rabbit encountering people who are all about to lose something or have already lost it, and are dealing with it in an unhealthy way. Maybe less Brave Little Toaster and more Phantom Tollbooth. Is make “degenerative eye condition” the stakes of a cartoony metaphor a bit too real? Uh....maybe! But that’s one of those questions you answer in down the line, when you’ve got some development of this idea and know where you’re going.

An undercover gynecologist solves a murder mystery

I like the concept of a gynecologist having to go undercover, but part of why it strikes me as funny is because it doesn’t make any god damn sense at all. Why does a gynecologist need to go undercover? Wouldn’t you need to reveal your identity to whoever you’re treating? This idea also feels a little juvenile. If I make a comic entirely based around vagina jokes all my female friends will look at me weird even more than they did when I put a hot pants on a deer. Hm. This idea seems like it really does suck. But instead of throwing it out, let’s go back to the drawing board and write about this idea for a few minutes, see if we can’t salvage it.

A gynecologist is a doctor who deals in birth (and other things, but birth for now). Birth= Creation. A gynecologist is a doctor who creates life....Secretly being a doctor who creates life....

FRANKENSTEIN!

Frankenstein moonlights as a private detective, but steals the body parts of the victims in order to make his monster. That’s an idea that has lots of potential. “It’s elementary, my dear Igor”. Maybe there’s a victim who survives a murder attempt but he’s got just the right arm for Frankenstein kills the dude himself and frames the attempted murderer, or frames an innocent man so that guy will get hanged and Frankenstein can take his legs. And then the cops start getting suspicious so he’s got to keep a low profile but he also needs to steal the crown jewels of England to pay for his experiments. A murder mystery where the detective is secretly committing an entirely unrelated but much worse set of super-crimes. There’s all sorts of plot potential there! Now I want to write this comic because it sounds awesome. Holy hell! Maybe there’s a case where the solution is that the victim faked their death and the police commissioner can go “But how can Mr. Victim be behind it? He’s dead??” and Detective Frankenstein can be all “On the contrary, he’s alive! He’s aliiiiiiive!” Aw man. Man, that undercover gynecologist idea seemed so terrible but with just a little change in perspective it’s suddenly totally rad.

“Cheers” but it’s the Mos Eisley Cantina

Obviously you have to file off the trademarked stuff but if you can’t see the story potential about a slice of life comedy in a bar full of weird broke space mobsters I don’t really know what to tell you. Maybe it can even be the framing device for all the other stories, and one of the patrons is a blind rabbit and one is Detective Frankenstein and then Detective Frankenstein has to fight a monster for the giant robot people! Because it’s Detective Frankenstein in space! Robot Space! Aw man, you could write like fifty stories easy off this premise and all you have to do is cut out all but the best six or so and polish them up a little and you’re an Image comic winning Hugo Awards!

#DETECTIVE FRANKENSTEIN #Advice #Detective Frankenstein meets Ambassador Battle Crab #Anonymous

107 notes · View notes

ghostmartyr · 5 years

Text

SnK 123 Thoughts

#spoilers

You know, I, for one, am not shocked. From an outside view, our options were Eren going through all this trouble to fix everything once and for all with a genius solution that only works with grand forbidden power--

--or Eren continuing to make everything worse.

His most enduring strategy has involved making everything worse.

I’m not mocking him. That honestly seems to be the point.

What’s interesting is how unhappy he seems about all of this. He’s angry when his dad needs him to step in to wipe out the Reiss family. In the aftermath, he’s despondent. He takes Armin’s punches and insults Mikasa. He allies himself with Zeke but makes no effort to build their relationship. He goes out and cries over all the things he’s about to do, but he still does them.

That’s the part of all this that seems strange to me. Eren finally losing to the pressure of being Paradis’ hope is a depressing storyline, but not that weird. Burning everything to the ground because that’s the only way he can see out anymore is something that I can see coming from an Eren who’s taken one too many hits. Sometimes something essential cracks. Sometimes people break, and when the storm that shatters them comes free, there’s nothing left to hold it back.

Only Eren’s relentless adherence to his goal doesn’t seem to be something he’s happy about. He doesn’t lose his stress lines the entire chapter, except when Mikasa brings him ice cream. I don’t think he’s had a scene without them since the time skip.

He can see the future. He makes it to Marley, and all he can do is stare at all the people. Alive.

Eren knows what he is going to do. He goes out alone his last night with his friends and cries about it. There is no appearance of this being something that he wants. The only thing that’s seemed to resonate properly since he left everyone is Willy’s declaration that they were born into this world.

He spends one last night with his friends, and leaves them forever.

This is not someone who is so far gone that this is it. This is what fixes everything. That might be where he gets the energy for all of it, but his last honest moment with anyone seems to be asking Mikasa why she cares about him.

Even by Eren’s current standards, he does not look good when he asks.

"Why is it... that you care so much about me?”

What value does Eren have as a person? Who is he? Who does the person who has been most obvious in her affection for him see?

That’s how this chapter opens. With Mikasa asking herself that question.

“But maybe that’s wrong. Eren hasn’t changed one bit from the start. If that’s who Eren truly was all along... what part of him... had I been seeing?”

Eren is someone who can kill children. He can take advantage of his friends’ love and dedication and manipulate it so they have no choice but to cooperate. He can throw his entire country’s desperate hopes to find a new solution out by leaving the room without discussion.

Before that step, he stands by himself and cries. And asks someone who loves him why she even cares. What creates this bond that the future he sees has him destroy.

Over eighty chapters ago, someone else tries to ask someone they love this question. They also get the wrong answer back.

“I mean… I decided to join the Survey Corps on my own. But… you didn’t, right? Back then… you chose the Survey Corps… Because I...” “Because what?! Huh?! Are you saying I joined for your sake?!”

“Then why are you here right now? If you don’t have a reason, then just start running...”

“Why… Why would you do that much for me? Does it have… something to do with my family?” “Yeah. It does.” --37, Krista and Ymir

That saga has its own tragedy, and here we repeat the refrain that causes the most miscommunication; that simple inability to admit the vulnerability of caring for another person by choice and happenstance.

Eren asks why. He wants a direct answer. He frames it first by going through the excuses. He saved her. They’re family. She’s said it often enough.

But is that it? Is that all that sums up her link to Eren? Is it just circumstance?

What is it that Mikasa values in him?

Mikasa can’t tell him the full truth. It’s too much for her to admit. So of course that, when the world is falling to pieces, is what lingers. That last moment of honesty she has with Eren, and she can’t make herself tell him any of the truths that maybe could have stopped this.

There’s no logical reason to think it would have, but Mikasa wonders for, I think, the same reason Eren asks at all.

Is there something valuable enough in Eren that just being Eren is enough?

Can something that isn’t the big picture and humanity and everything--can he find stable ground in that?

The answer was probably always going to be no. Eren’s been beyond friendship speeches for longer than I think any of his friends want to contemplate. But the picture Eren paints is someone who wants to be reminded of his humanity before he throws it away.

Mikasa, hearing that now, knows she couldn’t do that in that moment.

There is a very clear line following Eren through his decisions, but the logic of why he’s picked them is still missing. If the thread of him simply wanting destruction is to be followed, you find his obvious unhappiness whenever he’s confronted with what he’s about to do. If he truly believes he’s doing the right thing, why isn’t he sharing the strategy with Armin, or Hange, or Levi, or any of the people he’s already waded through blood with?

What is so important about Eren doing this, and why is it so important that he does this alone?

The Zero Requiem strategy demands that Eren be the villain of this piece, and he’s playing that part well, but there’s no stable end in this version. He’s simply antagonized both sides to the point of loud voices chanting for genocide.

Framing Paradis as the villain could arguably be the point, but Eren’s firmest declaration about why he’s doing all this is directed at other descendants of Ymir. The only ones who know he’s willing to slaughter the world for Paradis are the people who are already dealing with everyone hating them because of this one damn island.

The state of the world is not such that you can have the good Eldians in one corner and the bad Eldians in another.

Focusing on the island has been the rule of the land for a while, and it’s helped nothing. All Eren has done is bring yet another titan-led wave of destruction down on everyone, reminding them why the hatred started.

Really, the case that Eren’s doing this for precisely the reasons he says he is is the one that makes the most sense, and so we come back to him having clear problems with his own idea.

Additionally, while there are going to be those Eldians who are psyched about everyone else being dead, there are probably going to be more who are traumatized and horrified, so at the end of all the stomping, you’re just going to wind up with different groups of people in wars.

This doesn’t solve anything.

Like Liberio, it’s a bloodbath with the main accomplishment being that more people think Eren should be taken out.

Getting as many people to hate him as possible is the only consistent result of everything Eren has done.

Which is nice, since that suggests that maybe there’s some kind of logic buried under all of this.

Except the aim of making everything worse has only succeeded in making everything worse.

So. Like.

Everything’s worse.

Make everything worse.

Worser.

More worser.

The worstest.

Things are now worse.

Congratulations on a successful plan.

This is why Armin is usually stuck with this.

I can’t even be properly upset that Eren’s setting loose the rumbling, because something is clearly still missing. Not to be a broken record, but we’ve got unseen flashbacks with Historia and our little pickpocket, and Historia’s the only named character permitted to be featured listening to Eren without her face visible.

This after 108 made a big show of pointing out how strangely inconvenient the timing of the pregnancy was. Unless having Zeke alive mattered to someone.

As previously discussed, that adds to the worser pile, clearly making it relevant.

So yay, Eren has succeeded in setting himself up as The Worst.

Now we wait for why while an undetermined number of people are sacrificed to whatever unholy abomination of a strategy this qualifies as.

...Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

Oh, wait.

This part was good.

This too.

It’s a curious chapter. There’s so much light and joy in pieces, and everywhere we look we see reminders of why these are the people we’ve rooted for. Levi won’t let a pickpocket get lynched, even if it causes their cover issues. Mikasa’s eyes sparkle at ice cream. Armin’s excited to be out in the world.

They party with a group of people they don’t have a language in common with. It’s that easy.

All of that still exists, so what is it that makes this the logical next step?

Why introduce so many devastating cycles only to keep them going? Why would someone--several someones--actively opposed to perpetuating this kind of violence settle on a plan that loops a new one around?

The only answer I can come up with is that this isn’t the final word on what’s going on.

So, in keeping with the chart...

The worse continues.

To the secret better.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 123 #Eren Yeager #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post

189 notes · View notes

flatstarcarcosa · 5 years

Text

house/home

Ship: wilson and wilson at large warnings: exploration of trauma and PTSD, references to abuse note: this ended up being similar to the last thing i did, what started out as a simple headcanon exploration turned into an emotionally charged, rambling piece that at one point, turns into a story. it has not been proof read yet.

--------------------------------------------

slade and i discover pretty quickly after the move to vermont that simply packing my shit and taking care of any lingering obligations in florida i was tied too is not, in fact, the entire solution to my problems.

which of course ties into the larger theme of our whole relationship at this point in that we’re both just constantly attempting to run away from our problems, our pasts, our trauma all while scolding each other and saying it doesn’t work like that.

he finds i don’t get settled right away. or even within a few weeks or months. the vermont house, for all purposes, for the longest of time, is not my house. it is not my home. i quickly default back into the same mindset i have had my entire life, drilled and beaten into me since i was a child that if someone else has paid for it, if someone else has bought it, if someone else has acquired it and is allowing me to use it,

it is not mine. it is theirs.

which of course, that’s not the mindset that slade is coming from. he picked the vermont house because it made the most sense logistically. it was already there, sitting and waiting. filled with belongings he could never fit in elsewhere, filled with dust, filled with ghosts of memories past.

it made sense to use it.

so when we finally arrive, both regretting the initial idea of turning the move into a road trip, my things are waiting in storage containers. two large ones, sitting in the driveway and blocking access to the detached garage.

the house smells of pine and wood and must, having been shuttered up for so long. he comments that he can’t exactly remember the last time he was here, and he opens windows and adjusts the thermostat as he moves through.

everything is decorated in warm colors and wood, brown furniture and carpeting, and old linoleum in the kitchen that has seen better days. it’s distinctly him, and his presence coats everything i touch, as if his absence has meant nothing.

which it probably hasn’t. after all, a house is four walls and a roof and completely unconcerned with the on-goings inside it.

my things get moved in at an easy pace, boxes stacked out of the way in the basement while we try to figure out placement.

slade jokes we’re both going to have to pick and choose on the books; my amount added to his exceeding the capacity. he comments something about adding more bookcases in his study, and he trails off when he mentions something about adeline always wanting that done years ago.

there’s pictures of her in his study. her, and grant, and joey. more pictures of the three of them alone or together than there are of slade with them all. one in particular, that i find by accident stuffed behind a novel about Achilles, specifically has slade’s face cut out of it. i don’t ask. i don’t have to.

over the next few weeks my presence adds to his.

we have a fake argument about the two batman statues i have, me putting them on shelves in the living room only to find them in absurd places the next day. he puts one in the freezer, another in a garbage can.

my small collection of novelty mugs makes it’s way into the kitchen, along of course, with my shot glasses. we decide to donate my coffee maker, as slade’s is bigger and still functional.

at first we come to what seems like the logical conclusion that my bedroom items will go in his room; in the master bedroom. we put my bedframe in the basement, wrap the mattress for now and leave it leaning next to it. my sheet sets go in the closet, i add my pillows to his bed.

my shampoo and my facial cleansers sit next to his in the bathroom, our toothbrushes resting in the holder. my cologne next to his. my clippers in the box under the cabinet, next to a tiered container holding make up. my nail polish nestles next to his beard trimmer.

as the weeks go by, little by little i try to claim the offered spaces as my own.

i wake up one day to find he’s changed the living room furniture, i’m not sure why, and he seems oddly evasive about it. he jokes something about one of the kids throwing a party once, someone leaving nasty stains. he always meant to replace it.

he always meant to do a lot of things, he says.

i realize we’re both being crushed by our own innate guilt, whether rational or not, and that all we’ve done is try to run away from it again.

and of course, it hasn’t worked. it doesn’t work, it will never work, because you cannot run from these things. they are a train, and you cannot outrun a train.

i find myself wide awake one night, the sound of him breathing softly and measured next to me, and i’m staring up in the dark at a still unfamiliar ceiling and i realize that nothing is right,

none of this is right, none of this fits.

i am not, yet, accustomed to this new space. im unused to the noises of the house settling, the noises inside and out of it, and i lay there in the blinding dark desperately searching for something familiar to latch onto before i sink to the bottom

and i find nothing.

even his warm, solid form right next to me isn’t enough to tether me to the present and once again i’m overcome with the unalienable need to run.

he finds me on the back porch hours later, having apparently rolled over and noticed my absence, half a pack of cigarettes butted in the ash tray next to me, another one trailing smoke into the sky from my hand. i am still not calm enough to speak, and knowing that i will have to feels like a vice on my chest.

my mind races to prepare answers, the raging urge of self-preservation steering towards the right answers, and the correct answers, and the answers the other party wants to hear, and it is a habit i never foresee myself breaking.

the entire time i am screaming at myself to stop because it’s not necessary and it is not appropriate. and logically, i know this. my brain acknowledges the commands yet tells me so sorry there’s nothing we can do to stop this, it’s a train after all.

he picks out a cigarette of his own, gently pulling the lighter from between the fingers on my other hand. he sits down on the edge of my seat, to my right of course, always to my right and the side he can see from. he exhales a lungful of smoke and for a few moments, the questions don’t come.

my brain stops misfiring, the synapses all seeming to come to a stop as they compare now to then and finally decide, yes

yes we can stop now.

yes, you were right, now is not the same as then.

a semblance of control returns to my body as he reaches behind me to lean on the back of the chair.

“where’d you go?” he asks, casually, simply. as if that’s the most logical question to ask, as if that makes perfect sense, and i almost want to scream

because it absolutely is.

and yet, even still, “what?” is all i can choke out, and i know my attempt to cover it with a cough from the cigarette is as see through as glass, but i do it anyway.

“you went somewhere,” he says, tapping ash. his fingers trail up my back, coming to rest at the nape of my neck, his thumb rubbing circles against my hairline.

“i...i don’t know,” i say, and i want to cry all over again because of how far away and how small i sound.

“hm,” is all he responds with. he nudges me with a knee, and i slide over and allow him to sit fully. i stub out my cigarette and immediately reach for another one, and he flicks the lighter and doesn’t comment on the chain smoking and for several minutes we say nothing.

i know he’s waiting on me to invite him in. to give a cue, a sign that yes i’m fine now and yes i will be fine and yes i will give you a new list of all my problems and you can find out how to fix them, because that’s what you constantly try to do, because that’s all you know how to do, even to the point of creating problems just so you can solve them.

and i cannot give him that because i know deep, deep within the most choked off parts of myself that there are just things that cannot, will not be fixed.

and they cannot be run from, either.

but they can accommodated. they can be unearthed and they can be tended to and they can be allowed to breathe and perhaps if i stop trying to strangle myself into the submission of others, i could get a foothold in my own mind.

“could you maybe...move my bed and some of my stuff in the basement to one of your spare bedrooms?” i ask, and i hope that the fearfulness i’m feeling at daring to ask for something to be done for my comfort isn’t drowning my words.

he lets out a smoky sigh, tilting his head back and looking up at the stars as he brushes his fingers against my steaming cheek.

“i forgot how much you need a space of your own,” he says. my brain, still partially controlled by ghosts pulling on the strings of trauma, searches desperately for anything in his voice to justify the panic. for the annoyance, the exasperation, the condemnation,

and yet there is nothing to find.

“of course,” he says, “we can clear out one of the spare bedrooms and we can move as much of your stuff into it as you need.”

he stresses all the right words in all the right ways so that it doesn’t come across as sarcastic or demeaning in response to my obvious needs and for a moment i could swear i black out as everything that i’ve fought for so long to snuff out explodes into sparks.

i drop my cigarette at one point, completely unaware i’ve done it as i lean forward and press my head into his chest, fingers coiling into his shirt and he slips an arm around my waist and tugs me closer, leaning me against his hip in what feels like a practiced motion that he’s done hundreds of times.

“i’m sorry,” i say, breathing the words into him.

“that’s fine,” he says. “you’re fine.”

“i know,” i say.

we fall into silence for a while, interrupted only when i hear him sniffing, and for a moment i think is he crying too, now? did i start this? then suddenly he’s swearing, jumping out of the chair and nearly knocking me to the porch, and i’m so startled all i can do is blink like a confused animal as i register the smell of smoldering wood.

“your cigarette is burning a hole in the porch,” he says, stepping away to turn the light on.

and as i watch him go to reflexively grind the cigarette out with his foot, stopping when he realizes he’s not wearing shoes to turn and grab one of my boots from our shoe stand just outside the door, i can’t stop the laughter that bubbles up from my core.

i hear a train whistle in the distance, and i can’t make out if it is a real whistle, or my auditory wiring misfiring, and i don’t care. i’ll ask him tomorrow, if there’s train tracks somewhere nearby, because it settles in the back of my mind that there will be a tomorrow, and a day after, and a day after that, and it wraps around me like a fuzzy jacket.

he offers a hand and i take it, and it slips down to my waist as he leads me back inside.

“you know, you don’t have to try to burn our house down to get my attention,” he says as the door slides shut behind us, and there’s the faintest hint of a smile on his lips as he speaks. i catch sight of the moonlight streaming in behind him, and it imposes on my eyes the sight from what feels like so long ago,

the sun light beaming down on him in a florida parking lot as he looks down to grab for the dog’s leash, a stranger in my home saving my only friend from running head first into traffic while hunting a lone lizard

and i think what are the odds,

that then is, in fact, so similar to now.

#ship: wilson & wilson at large #arc: warm winter sun #van.fic #self shipping #self shipping community

9 notes · View notes

ryanssecurityengineering · 5 years

Text

Week 8 Notes and Reflection

REFLECTION

This was an interesting week, less focused on any technical things about security Engineering and more concerned with this idea of Errors - especially that you can’t pinpoint an error on one or two people but usually due to a bad system. Systems can be actual “systems” like nuclear power plants, or a system of behaviour in an organisation.

The lecture in the night time was incredibly weird. Richard literally read a book about the Three Mile Island accident. For the exam I will have to research a bit more about the accident - I like watching videos on YouTube, and it helps gain a different perspective. What I learnt was that the accident wasn’t caused by one entity - but by many entities involved - System Failure.

NOTES

Books on Errors

Human Error - James Reason

Normal Accidents - Charles Perror

Just Culture - Sidney Dekker

The Challenger Launch Decision - Diane Vaughan

Chernobyl: The History of a Nuclear Catastrophe - Serhii Plokhy

Command and Control: Nuclear Weapons, the Damascus Accident, and the Illusion of Safety - Eric Schlosser

When something goes wrong

What is the root cause? Root Cause Analysis. Do this analysis when something goes wrong. The point is that we can improve for the future. Reactive. You can do one more like an engineer.

Humans prefer to have a signal explanation. But in the rare case they say three things:

Human/user/operator error - You sack that person! Blame the person, problem solved. Looking for a hero/villain.

Every single cyberattack will because of human error. But it won’t be one human.

Story 1 - Aeroplane industry - “the last touch”. Root cause - the engineer who signed off on that last nose cone - the person would be the one at fault and fired. The last person who touched it and is at fault.

Story 2 - The second culprit is culture. We don’t have the right culture we have to change the culture! Culture is nice no need to blame anyone! Pay lots of money for consultants! Doesn’t really tell you how to fix the problem.

The above answers you won’t be able to solve the problem.

Fallback attack - when trying to hack someone, cause them to fall back to a less secure protocol. Only respond with less secure protocols.

Human Weaknesses

Honesty - commander in cheat. Humans not good at telling the truth. Some unis have an honour code - no cheat, no plagiarism. Psychologists what to work out to what extent honour codes alter people’s behaviour. Shredding exam paper - people got higher average score in test when the exam paper was shredded! Dishonest! Before you do it you would have to sign an honour code, saying you won’t cheat on the test. Different result when you sign at beginning vs end. Prinston you are shoved with the honour code. Stanford no honour code. Made no difference!

Misdirection and limited focus - Our attention is like a torch. Imagine it completely dark - you use the torch and focus on a few things. Some areas you never shine the light on - pay attention to only one or two of those factors. We don’t always pick the best factors to follow. Humans subject to misdirection - focus on something else rather than what you are supposed to focus on. Humans should focus on what’s logically important, but tend to focus on what it is psychologically salient. E.g. magician. Magicians make u make sure you can’t tell whats important to focus on. Sleight of hand and misdirection. Planned and executed in plain sight. If the situation is complex need to turn all the lights on. How do you deal with contradicting data? - Confirmation bias. Ignore stuff we don’t like that - confirm theory we are currently theory. The more often you do something, it will become routine. His obsession: "those factors which lead to and sustain wishful thinking rather than wise thinking"

satisficing and bounded rationality - Good enough is good enough, let’s move on.

People prefer positive statements

overriding tendency to verify generalizations rather than falsify them

Group-think syndrome - When you are in a group and the way you act in the group. What is value is group membership. Even if things are going off the rail they don’t want to be the annoying person no one likes.

developmental phases - goed and breaked 2

procedural

meta-procedural

conceptual

The system should be designed so if a human error occurs. it is not catastrophic.

Heuristics

Similarity matching - Have in your head schemes or situations from the past and try to match it. “Muscle memory”. This is how social engineers exploit you. The Brain is optimised to not think.

Frequency gambling - When you got a match - I’m going to recall the pattern and pick the pattern. When you pick the pattern how to pick the best matching one? Most likely pick the pattern that worked most often. Frequency gambling - picked the pattern from the past that worked the most. We are just trying to delegate to a pattern very quickly.

How is an accident different to an attack? - The intent - someone trying to make it go wrong. With an accident our adversary is Murphy. In an attack, you have someone who is adaptive and clever. The bad guy will make the cheese holes line up. Lego trains - interface trains through a serial port. At every Y intersection (switch) you could control it. The real problem was making sure the trains never collide - not the optimal solution. People distracted by the interesting things. Richard attacked them - he made Satin’s simulator. If you engage in an unsafe strategy, you’ve done the bad thing. This is how security is different to accidents.

SYSTEMS

50 trivial problems - old man driving, bus strike etc, full car park, all sounds lame! Primary cause of failing to get to job interview? Human error, mechanical failure, environment, system design, procedures you used. The best answer is all of them? None of the above - none of them caused the accident. it was a systemic accident.

Recognise that sometimes when things happen it is not due to the last person. It is about the system.

If you design a well designed system - resilient in accidents and attacks. If highly coupled and incoherent then that is pretty bad. Redundancy - Defence in Depth. However sometimes some failures cause other failures. COMMON MODE failure.

Cassandra and Apollo and hindsight and Chekhov and simplification - Wooed her about something. Cassandra Syndrome - knowing the truth but no one believes you. Chekhov gun - anything on-screen in a movie is there for a purpose. A gun is on the wall to be used. Hindsight - Looking back everything looks so clear, but at the actual event maybe not.

Belief that event has only one significant cause.

Plan for few contingencies than occur.

-ability to control outcomes - the illusion of control.

- hindsight bias - knowledge of outcome of previous event increases perceived likelihood of that outcome

2911 Things - complexity coherence coupling visibility - visibility - direct error (e.g. instant feedback - ship goes wrong way). Easy to detect. The real errors are latent errors and the consequence of the error stays hidden until the future. Latent errors with defence in depth systems. E.g. memory leak. Fail invisibly and think the system is safe.

operator deskilling due to Automatic safety devices - Ironic!

latent vs active failures

"Dead Battles like dead generals hold the military mind in their dead grip, and Germans, no less than other peoples prepare for the last war." - Barbara Tuchman - planning for future is planning for what happened before.

Exam question about one of these:

Chernobyl

Bhopal

Challenger

Three Mile Island -

Chernobyl will be in the exam. The rods are in same liquid and pumped round and round circulating heat in the red area. Rods drop down to separate things, and absorb neutrons. For safety issues, the red stuff is inside a closed system and there is water cooling.

Nuclear plants plagued with startup problems. Imagine nuclear react is cloud services! The utility charged the builder, and the builder charged the utility in the accident. The water in the secondary system is pure. Resins might get in the water and must be removed. It leaked out and leaked into the pneumatic air system. The system drives some of the instruments. Interrupted the air pressure which went to two of the values for the water system. Emergency pump used but the pipes were blocked! Valves left in the closed position from a maintenance - invisible failure. Operator couldn’t tell the water is pumping through a closed pipe. Mystery how the valves were closed. Operators testified - not unusual to find some in the wrong position.

The decay heat builds up enormous temperature and pressure - normally there is lots of water to cool this. However the cooling system didn’t work. If the red part gets too hot, stainless steel around the red part might be brittle. There are ASD’s to handle the problem. The valve at the top of the yellow thing - relive pressure from the core. Reducing pressure becomes a gas, and explodes into steam. 1 in 50 times valve expected to fail. Presidents commission discovered that the valve fails often in other reactors. Unfortunately in this attack, the valve failed to close again after it opened. The radioactive water is gushing out! Absolute disaster. 32 thousand gallons stream out. The thing was simply uncaught. The indicator was recently added to the valve to indicate the valve had failed. However the indicator itself had failed too. Because the light was showing the valve had shut, they didn’t do any other tests. The valve only records whether a signal was sent to the valve to shut, not whether the thing was shut! The second shift determined the error and fixed it? When the mistake is a latent error - operator never notices. Can’t see that mistake again - new eyes come in and might solve the problem! Humans lead to failure and the failure to detect the failure. Operators couldn’t tell - only thing is “why is the core getting so hot?”. The system was tightly coupled - errors in one thing affect another.

The people were looking for one story to explain the failure - however it was multiple stories. Opaque system. Heat in the bottom tank - its “probably ok” even though it was burning hot. reason to believe the water could have come from anywhere. Went to different wrong tank which overflowed in the wrong building.

Everything will be weirdly connected - leave the tap on and all the password pour out of the tap. Tightly coupled system.

Theoretical thing when the core is uncovered and etc. Possible the reaction can lead to hydrogen gas - can lead to explosion. Theoretical reaction that oxygen and hydrogen - thought it was an oxygen explosion. The whole thing filled up with hydrogen gas. China syndrome, steam in air and Fukishima.

Investigations - Occurred. Reported that operators made terrible mistakes. THere were millions of things that went wrong, causing chain reaction. Can’t pick one person to blame. None of the people are actually the problem - they doing their best in a system designed to fail.

What we have to do is not focus on finding scapegoats, and pretending we have good systems - Design it so that if things go wrong, the impact is minimised.

UNSW how to improve cyber security - One real answer - work out the most important assets and JUST DEFEND THEM. Students? Safety? Staff? Money? Step 2- Assume you are going to be breached, and set it up so that is not a disaster. Have the vice chancellor read the press releases.

HR Department - Can we have a copy of your passport? “I don’t know how long we keep passports, and we built a huge passport database.” Don’t hold the data, and delete the passports. Get rid of the valuable data! Stop building it up. Don’t make a data lake.

PRIVACY EXTENDED LECTURE

When we use online services we forfeit our privacy for online services and fun.

Google Timeline - tracks your location when you left your GPS on.

The problem is when it is compromised - easy target and easy to stalk.

Signal Blocking - Phone in Aluminium foil. Today there was reports of people accessing metadata without warrants. Aluminium foil breaks bluetooth signal. Faraday bags only $6!!! Foil blocks Find my Android.

Methods of Prevention - Incognito mode, Privacy focused browsers, log out when you can, Don’t make accounts with other accounts (e.g. spotify with Facebook), LIE.

VPNS - Everything you connect through the internet is through the VPN, not your local address. Everytime you make a request the person making the request is the VPN. Trusting whoever makes the VPN.

Onion Routing - Diverting your request through intermediate nodes. Between each node is a symmetric key. 3 layers of encryption. Each node doesn’t know enough on its own that if it was compromised that it would give something valuable. Don’t know client or server. However attacker can perform timing attacks - see requests in and out.

A right to privacy - No different to free speech where you have nothing to say. You can get cheaper flight tickets through a VPN from another country.

Should I be concerned? - I have nothing to hide. I have nothing I can think of that I want to hide. If you are a good law abiding citizen then it is all good? Bruce Schenider = false assumptions of privacy and its value. Premise is that privacy is about hiding a wrong. The problem is the Power of The Government - Imbalance of Power. Left powerless as we don’t have a say on who can view our personal records. E.g. several airlines handed passenger records over to federal agencies after 9/11. Entirely different purpose of what the data was intended for. The policies become meaningless! Left us in a powerless position?

Privacy threatened by many small things, not one big thing.

DIGITAL FORENSICS EXTENDED LECTURE

Branch of forensics science

Recovery/investigation of material found on digital devices

Two types of personnel

3 Stages of Digital Forensics Investigation

Acquisition/Imaging - Capture an “image”

Analysis - keyword searches, recover deleted files, specialist tools

Reporting - evidence used to construct events/actions, layman report written.

Type of Forensics

Computer forensics - Memory and data

Mobile device - Phone

Network - Router switches, packet captures

Database Forensics

Video/Audio forensics - Movie, audio

Stenography - hidden files inside files.

Tooling - EnCase, Autopsy, FTK Imager, File, Strings, XXd, Foremost, Binwalk, mmls.

Drives and Partitioning (FAT32) - Allocates memory in clusters. FAT records the status of each cluster. Deleted files name is changed to 0xE5[file_name]. The first character of the file name is changed to show it is deleted. Forensics people check this FAT table and check for these deleted files.

Flag in IMage - https://imgur.com/a/X2mNAIZ

3 notes · View notes

pastelmaybelline-blog · 5 years

Text

Why you might say no to anti-depressants

I started this blog for the many women who tell me that they Believe Forced to take meds. They feel pathologized by the identification, such as a scarlet letter D, their name. They come to me because they know I'll work with them to make real changes which are at the center of their symptoms.

However they still have loved ones who do not understand. So here's my List of the best reasons -- logical, smart, evidence-based -- to say no to antidepressants.

Easy does it

As doctors, we take an oath --"first do no harm" -- but then we get Enticed by the seeming simplicity of a one-pill-for-one-ill model. In actuality, it makes no sense to take strong psychiatric drugs as a first line therapy. In actuality, I'd go farther and say that it is reckless. There is peer-reviewed study that implicates lifestyle options in melancholy and upholds medical meditation along with other powerful mind-body methods as more effective than medication. More girls are saying that they would rather begin by taking a hard look at diet, nutrition status, and their personal care regimen.

So how about devoting one month into a lifestyle overhaul and taking it As seriously as others may require a physician's order? Because you are worth it. Pharmaceuticals are dangerous

Drugs are dangerous and potent, and there is no doubt that Americans are carrying too many . It is called iatrogenic drug addiction And it certainly includes psychotropic medication. Do not roll your eyes. I am not talking about some type of conspiracy where malevolent folks sit in a room and plot to hurt people. I'm talking about how the world works. It is an alignment of politics, gains, and incentives. We've got a system which richly rewards individuals who prioritize commercial uses for drug research. Simple solutions that can not be patented will not get the time of day. New medications are fast tracked through the approval process too fast and dangers are ignored -- brief and long-term. A whole lot of what we will need to know about these drugs is locked in a drug company's file drawer cupboard. What has been discovered by these file-drawer studies is that psychiatric meds result in worse long-term effects than no treatment in any way.

If you are not signing up to be reflexively treated as a cog in the pharmaceutical wheel, that is smart medication.

How can a happy pill be so unhappy?

There's not a great deal of pleasure coming from these pills. Take a few minutes to scan the side effects Of commonly prescribed antidepressants and you might have difficulty lifting your jaw off the floor. Listed below are acknowledged and recorded reactions to antidepressant drugs.

Common side effects include:

Agitation, shakiness, nervousness

flu-like symptoms

indigestion and stomach aches

nausea or constipation

dizziness, disorientation, confusion

insomnia or sleepiness

headaches

low sexual drive, erectile dysfunction, problems attaining orgasm

weight gain

excessive perspiration

heart rhythm problems

muscle twitching or pain

shivering

Patients are nearly always told to hang in there since the above Issues generally improve with time. And if they don't solve, physicians start tweaking... they will adjust the dose or add a second and a third medicine. What they typically will not tell you is that things can go really, very poorly . There are other, far more severe reactions, including suicidal thoughts, a desire to harm others or self, seizures, and psychosis. The frightening part is that we do not know how to predict if you might be one of these circumstances. It's literally Russian Roulette, sometimes in as little as 1-2 doses.

If you are wondering how this is possible, I am right there with you. Part of the challenge of working with girls who take meds for any reason is that I am not able to differentiate between symptoms and side effects. It becomes a tangled web of physiological imbalance. They're worse than ineffective

Being a"good patient" can turn you into a patient for life. Consider these research findings, which I summarize in A Mind of Your Own:

There's no validated science which supports a neurochemical explanation for mental illness, including depression.

The placebo effect -- a complex physiologic process based on our beliefs about therapy -- is accountable for what we believe is assisting about these meds.

Medicines acting on these chemical techniques induce the body to adapt.

These adaptations are probably responsible for the poor long-term health effects of the cured versus the unmedicated (who introduced with the very same symptoms).

It is quite possible that these medications fail over time because they induce compensatory adaptations that wind up creating the reverse of what the medication originally intended and this worsening of the disease might not be reversible (even after stopping the drug ).

In other words, Trying to medicate your symptoms may:

Not help whatsoever

Make you sicker

Engender new diagnoses requiring more treatment, which generates additional, unintended side effects

Rob you of the chance to comprehend why you're symptomatic in the first location.

There simply is not a very good case to be made for their efficacy. In Fact, there's absolutely not any case. It is what leads patients to my door, since they're asking, is not there a better way? Ever try to stop?

Here's another dirty little secret in psychiatry. Starting meds is easy. Stopping? Not so much. It is like riding in a hot air balloon. Going up was a piece of cake but it does not happen to most people that down the trip could be a very bumpy ride

Patients are advised that reduction programs vary based on the medication, The dose, the duration, and previous symptoms. It sounds scientific enough. But the reality is that coming off antidepressants can be a horror show. Most individuals don't know that these medications are habit forming so withdrawal may be excruciating and feel profoundly... shameful. Add to the med mayhem that lots of doctors are not taught how to taper and the available advice is not very valuable. Harvard Medical School says:"There aren't any hard and fast rules for getting off antidepressants... some can taper off... in a matter of weeks, while some may take weeks." I'd even add years to this announcement. This should tell you is: A) they do not really know, and B) it may not go so well.

Numbed to existence?

When life deals you a few difficult news, realize that you're having a human experience. You're intended to work through it. What you are not supposed to do would be to suppress awareness and anesthetize the mind. Are you sure you would like to pathologize your pain with investigations and labels, and take pills to suppress awareness? That is exactly what antidepressants do. Imagine feeling... nothing. No sadness, no enjoyment, no pain, no anger, no love. There is something worse than feeling bad and that is saying no to what life has brought to your path.

You can pick a different narrative. You are not broken.

You are smart... life is smart and purposeful and we overlook That expansion and development comes through suffering. In actuality, when my patients cure from meds, all kinds of wild things occur -- they adopt babies, get divorced, move to Europe -- things which were sitting dormant, requiring saying.

People have evolved over millennia to interact with our surroundings with deep wisdom. There is a good reason why you're feeling bad and you Deserve the support and time to find it out. Antidepressants don't Work how you believe they do. They're a tempting fairy tale... a miracle-in-a-capsule that will magically transport you back to yourself. But there is not a single study that supports this myth, that it is Possible for the mind to be efficiently rewired by a 1 size fits all, Synthetic, chemical mixture. And in view of the risks, you deserve To try out every single safer alternative . It is time to empower yourself with A Mind of Your Own.

#depression #anti-depressants #anxiety

12 notes · View notes

readyplayerhobi · 6 years

Text

Starfire | 03

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Sci-fi, Angst, fluff, eventual smut

; Word Count: 8.7k

; Synopsis: The schism that broke the galaxy began, as it usually does, over a disagreement. The resultant civil war has raged for hundreds of years. When a ragtag group of travellers discovers something that could turn the tide of war, for good or for worse, the bonds of friendship and love will be tested.

Previous Chapter ; Next Chapter

; A/N: For the probably 10 people who have been looking forward to this, I hope you enjoy it! For any newbies...I hope you enjoy it too. Still so easy and fun to write!

Silence takes over the bridge as everyone suddenly stares at Jungkook, his brown eyes widening in panic as he points a shaky finger to himself. “No, no you’re wrong. I’m just...I’m just Jungkook.” The space between his brows suddenly creases and your stomach turns slightly at how lifelike that looks. “Right? I’m human...you said I was human?”

He’s turning his wrists over now, staring at the golden skin that has a pale tone to it under the harsh ship lights. His fingers flex slowly and everyone watches as tendons move beneath his skin, veins bulging and prominent.

“Jisoo...are you sure?” Yoongi asks, running a lazy eye over the young man. Just as Jisoo opens her mouth, darker pink lips surrounded by smooth hot pink skin, Jimin suddenly moves in a burst of speed that has you blinking.

The black clad man moves with all the speed a Mutanis has been graced with, and yet he’s pulled to a stop when Jungkook’s hand is suddenly grabbing onto his arm tightly. Jimin’s eyes widen ever so slightly before his plush lips turn up in an amused smirk.

Even from here, you can see the way that Jimin’s biceps bulge slightly as he pushes with far more strength than a human is capable of. Yet Jungkook doesn’t move an inch, his arms not even quivering under the effort.

Relenting, Jimin pulls his arms back and twirls the silver blade in his fingers slowly. The same knife that had been in his arm and you presume, aimed at some non-vital part of Jungkook. Letting out a low chuckle that has the hair on your arms raising, Jimin slowly strides back to his previous spot and leans back against the wall.

“Oh he’s not human. Not one of you could have seen me and responded that quickly. Nor are any of you strong enough to stop me. Humans in particular are not equipped to go up against a Mutanis. Him?” He points at Jungkook with the sharp end of his blade. “I wasn’t getting through to him, no way. He’s not human.”

The soft hum of the engine and quiet beeping of the monitors is all that can be heard for a few moments as everyone takes this in. A shudder through Hoseok’s body has you looking back down at him though, taking in the slack jaw and small amount of bubbling saliva that has begun to spill out of his mouth.

Immediately you’re frustrated and annoyed, the medical scanner in your hands reporting that he’s suffering a high heart rate along with unbelievable blood pressure. Rooting through the medical bag, you pull out the only thing that can help him. Turning on the device, it connects to the scanner and you watch as it immediately starts to generate the chemical solution that will help Hoseok best.

Once the red light turns green, you press the device to the artery on his neck and wait a few seconds until the injector has released the contents and allows you to remove it. Almost immediately the scanner reports his heart rate slowing down but there’s a whole host of things it’s telling you that you don’t understand.

Despair crawls up your throat as you desperately wish the Starfire had a top of the range medical bed. They were far out of the budget of this tiny runner, but one of those would be able to monitor him and continuously inject the necessary medication when needed.

“Can we figure out whether or not Jungkook is an android or an AI or a what-the-fuck-ever later please? Hoseok is...Hoseok...I need to…” You’re not entirely sure what you’re trying to say but you give up, letting the tears close up your throat as you run your fingers through his soft black hair.

A gentle hand on your shoulder distracts you from the negative thought spiral you’d been sinking down and you blink up between tears to see Rose kneeling next to you. Her lustrous skin shimmers in soft pinks and blues as her hair and eyes practically glowed a pastel purple. Worry.

Namjoon shakes his head suddenly, breaking himself out of the stupor he’d been in and strides over to you, crouching down and resting a hand on Hoseok’s forehead. “Yeah, yeah of course. What’s his vitals?” Your captain asks, dragging his eyes away from Jungkook to pick up the scanner and read the output.

“I...I don’t know. He’s not convulsing anymore but he...I don’t think he’s okay.” The words whisper out of you, trembling slightly as your throat tightens with emotion. There’s no smart ass words from you now, not when your stomach is sick with fear for the man you love.

Nodding, Namjoon gestures towards Jimin. “Can you take him to his room?” There’s a moment where Jimin pauses, mouth opening to probably complain about being treated like a labourer but his eyes flicker down to Hoseok’s prone position and he simply nods.

Walking over, the Mutanis slides his arms underneath Hoseok and lifts with ease. It’s when Jimin does things like this that make you realise just how strong he really is, as not a hint of strain shows on his statuesque features.

As you go to open the door lock for Jimin, Namjoon’s hand catches your arm and tugs you to a brief stop. A crease on his brow let’s you see the stress and tension he’s holding and his mouth flattens out briefly. “I know you’re hurting, but I need my XO here. Get him settled, Rose can keep watch over him for you,” He glances over at Rose who nods, skin glittering at the movement. “This is big and I need you. I know he needs you too, but I need you to do your job.”

A big part of you wants to tell him to fuck off, that Hoseok deserves your care and attention given he’d just almost died for you all, but the logical side of your brain that got you the XO position in the first place kicks in. He’s right, whatever this situation you’ve all blindly walked into is huge and you can’t let Namjoon try and solve it himself.

Swallowing thickly and licking your lips briefly, you nod to him before unlocking the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Get everyone into the break room and we’ll...figure this shit out. This heaping, pile of ‘I’m-really-not-qualified-for-galactic-war’ shit.” You sigh heavily. The small moment of brevity causes Namjoon’s lips to twist up into what could almost be described as a smile.

“You and me both.” He mutters, letting go of your arm and waving you off.

Jimin has already left the bridge, striding through the narrow corridors of the Starfire towards Hoseok’s small living quarters. While the ship could hold a full crew of 15, it got a little crowded with that many people in it. There was enough space for everyone, but the larger living spaces were reserved for the captain and XO.

Jin and Jisoo had done some DIY engineering to combine their bedrooms together, removing a non-supporting wall to create a space twice as big to cope with them both. But everyone else had the bog standard quarters, Hoseok included.

Rose’s soft, warm fingers grasp yours momentarily as she squeezes in reassurance, giving you a gentle smile while her hair and eyes ripple with yellow for a moment. You give her a tremulous smile in response and take a deep, fortifying breath as you step up to Hoseok’s door.

Each quarters are locked with either a handprint or a unique code, depending on what the occupant chose. You, Namjoon and Yoongi were the only ones who had master keys that would override every lock on the Starfire when needed, but you had no need to use that for Hoseok.

He’d told you what his code was long ago, and as you enter in the numbers of the day you reunited on Taurii Station over 5 years ago you have to blink rapidly to try and rid yourself of the tears. The soft snort of disbelief lets you know Jimin’s seen the code and you look at him with a glare.

If he could, you have no doubt that he’d be holding his hands up to ward off any words from you but he can’t stop the sardonic smile that creeps out. “You two are sickening, you know that?” He grumbles, heading through the door and resting Hoseok on his small, single sized bed. There’s a moment of quiet as Jimin stays crouched before he places a hand on the Magi’s prone arm.

“He did good you know? Really good. We all owe him something I don’t think we can ever repay.” The kind words from someone who so rarely engages in emotional behaviour has you hiccuping on a sob that you desperately try to keep in, a trembling hand reaching forward to push through Hoseok’s thick, dark hair.

“He did. He did so well, but I want him back.” You can’t help the emotional whisper, Rose’s arms wrapping around you from behind as she presses herself against your back. There’s a moment of indecision before Jimin’s hand is rubbing your shoulder quietly and if you were in a better mental place then you’d be immediately teasing him for his slip of emotion.

“You should go, Namjoon will only wait so long.” Rose says faintly, her beautifully lyrical voice echoing with that odd sense of magnitude that you could never fully describe. You look up at her and nod slowly, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to Hoseok’s now pale forehead.

As you leave him in Rose’s capable hands, Jimin stops at the door and looks firmly at you. Eyes that have probably watched hundreds die with detached emotion stare into your own and you shudder slightly at the coldness there, but the blue he’s chosen for now soon warms slightly.

“He’ll be okay.” Is all he says and you frown slightly, pushing past the assassin into the brighter corridor. As if sensing your confusion as to why he sounds so certain, he tugs you to a stop and you’re about to snap at him.

Why does everyone suddenly seem to think you’re a doll that can be tugged and pulled around everywhere?! “He’ll be okay because he’s fighting for you. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about Hoseok over the years, it’s that he’ll do anything for you. So, just wait. He’ll come back. Not for us, but for you.”

At that, he stalks away to leave you staring at his toned back that shifts under the black of his skin tight top. Sometimes you can never figure the Mutanis out. His emotional disconnect is understandable, given he has been trained to kill without a second thought. But then he also seems to be one of the most emotionally perceptive people you’ve seen.

Shaking your head, you close your eyes and inhale slowly, holding it in before letting it out just as slow. The coping mechanism is something that had been taught at flight school on Alpha Prime. A pilot who panicked during a battle was one who would quickly find themselves killed.

Finally centering yourself and feeling, if not okay, at least calmer than you were, you straighten your shoulders and head towards the break room. Everyone is already there, sat around the table while Jimin leans against the wall broodily.

Jungkook is standing on the other side and the only way you can describe his body movements is that he is cowering from everyone’s curious, confused and slightly frightened gazes. You take the moment to run your eyes over him, noting that someone has provided him with a plain white shirt and some grey sweatpants.

It doesn’t take much to notice that Jungkook is built a little more than any of the guys on the ship, with his shirt clinging to incredibly toned torso. His hunched shoulders can’t cover up the broadness that you can see and if you only looked at him from the neck down then you’d presume him to be a mid-20s human male in the prime of his life. Each shift of his arms causes what look like tendons to shift under his tanned skin.

His face though - it sends a shiver down your spine at the thought of what TAS is capable of creating if this what they can produce now. Jungkook has the face of a sweet young man; cheeks soft and supple with plump, pink lips that glisten as he nervously licks at them. His eyes are beautiful and completely non-threatening; big and wide with innocent naivety.

“Heka, no one would ever see him coming.” You don’t realise that you’ve spoken aloud until everyone is suddenly looking at you in silence before their eyes drag back to the man, or android, in question.

“No, they wouldn’t. Which makes him very dangerous. I’d have suspected nothing.” Jimin states flatly, voice almost devoid of any emotion as he continuously scans over the android as if to try and find a weakness.

“He smells like a human too, and he’s secreting sweat that smells of his unique pheromones. It’s fascinating really, how they’ve managed to do this.” It’s Yoongi who speaks up then, his sensitive senses picking up things that none of you would have even considered. It makes everyone look at him warily.

Namjoon sits at the table and rubs at his forehead wearily. “What do you remember before this Jungkook?” He asks quietly and you head over to him, hand moving to rub at his neck to try and relieve some of his stress. A soft noise of acknowledgement is the only sign he gives of thanks to you.

Jungkook eyes widen even further and you get the distinct sense that if he could, he would run away right now. Where he’d run to is beyond you, but he doesn’t seem like the fighting kind of person. His mouth opens and closes a few times, stuttering over his words before he finally speaks clearly. “N-n-nothing. I just...it’s like my life started when you woke me up.”

Looking him over again, you rub at your own temples and let out a deep sigh. Jisoo lets out a quiet laugh as she looks up from the datapad both she and her husband are hunched over. “That’s probably because that’s all he can remember. Given what you guys saw in that research station, I wouldn’t be surprised if they wiped him clean before putting him into a sleep mode.”

You frown at that and open your mouth to question it before Jimin cuts in again. “Makes sense. UIS wants to destroy him, but you can bet if they could get some information from him first then they would.” Honestly, sometimes you wonder why you’re the XO and not Jimin. He may be a smart ass but...well you have to be smart to be one of those and he sure does make you feel stupid sometimes.

Shaking your head, you rid the negative thoughts. It’s not that he’s intelligent, though it is partially, but also because he’s been trained since birth practically in the ways of subterfuge and corporate espionage. If anything, Jimin is probably the one who will have the best idea of what the fuck is going on right now.

“Well...we can’t destroy him. You heard that UIS General, they’ll be after us even if we get rid of him. And TAS...they knew. They knew damn well what they were sending us into.” Namjoon’s fist clenches and you have no doubt that you’d see his biceps flexing if he weren’t wearing his jacket.

Patting his shoulder, you try to lighten the mood a little. “No sweat Cap...but next time we, firstly, listen to me when I say it sounds funky. And secondly...we take no more freaking contracts from your contact, cos I gotta say boss man...this has been the worst contract ever. Hands down.”

Taehyung gives a slightly high pitched giggle, odd considering his natural deep voice. “Yeah, that’d be great. I’d really love not witnessing my own death multiple times again.” He nods and you realise his eyes are just a little wild right now, his starry eyes flickering constantly in a sign of stress.

You head over to him and run a hand through his thick, glittering hair to soothe him slightly. In the heat of the moment, it was easy to forget that Taehyung probably witnessed every way that the battle could have gone wrong. Which is a large thing to expect of your primary pilot.

Feeling him shudder beneath you, you crouch down next to him and rest a hand on his clothed thigh. “You okay?” You ask softly, aware of everyone watching the moment. The Cognizar swallows before exhaling slowly through his nostrils, nodding.

“I’ll be okay, I swear. It was just...a lot. I feel like I need to sleep for a year.” He mutters, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes as he slumps over slightly. You keep your hand on his thigh and reassure him as you look over at Jisoo and Jin.

“On a scale of one to that-time-Jimin-went-to-Coitanus, how fucked are we?” You ask them, ignoring Jimin’s scowl. Shrugging at him with a slight smirk, you ignore his annoyance and instead note how it brings a touch of a smile to everyone’s lips. Coitanus was a planet in the Adrestia systems that...well you went there if you wanted a good time. And Jimin once took his entire week’s leave there.

Jin’s breath whistles out of him as he breathes out before looking at his wife and shrugging. “As fucked as you can be without a dick in you. We’ll be flagged all on all UIS and TAS system alerts now as wanted fugitives, probably with slaughter warrants so if we get spotted by someone then we’re probably dead.”

Lisa lets out a noise of protest and stands up suddenly. “That’s bullshit! Who would believe us anyway?! There’s always those shitty urban legends that someone’s made an AI. If we destroyed him then who would fucking know?! No one! We could shut him down, put a round through wherever the hell his processing core is and then space him into the closest sun for good measure.”

Looking at Namjoon, he gives you a look that you decipher as ‘unfuck this situation please’. Groaning quietly, you stand up and ignore the click of your knee as you do so. “Lisa, please stop.”

She looks at you outraged and sneers at Yoongi as he rests a hand on her arm with his own warning look. “Why?! It’s the truth and we’re all thinking it. Jimin would agree right?” She looks at the Mutanis who raises perfect eyebrows in response.

“I am thinking it, yeah. But it’s dumb and it wouldn’t work. Like Cap said, they know that we know about him. All it would take is us to record something of him, copy his software or something and send it out and then there would be proof of a functioning AI. We’re dead meat walking.” There’s silence that follows and you groan, resting your forehead against Tae’s own head for a moment.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The words are so quiet that you almost don’t hear, and from the sudden silence of the room you assume everyone else has the same opinion. Looking up, you catch sight of the AI in question and can’t help the flip of your heart at the sight.

His eyes, dark yet wide, are filled with tears as he looks down at his trembling hands. “If I could fix this for you...I would. I’m sorry that you’re all stuck in this situation because of me.” His voice trembles with each word and you bite your lip at the panic and fear in them.

It’s so strange to know that he’s a machine, just a complex set of algorithms and numbers that combine together to produce something so realistic. And yet as you watch him cower in front of the glares of your entire crew, you suddenly realise something important.

Walking over to him, you clasp his hands in your own and marvel for a moment at how lifelike he feels. It’s like you’re touching a normal human. Rubbing his fingers soothingly, you give him an encouraging smile as he watches you closely.

“It’s okay. It’s okay Jungkook, it’s not your fault.” You tell him firmly. Immediately you hear Lisa’s complaint behind you and you turn around with a glare. Right now, you’re not her friend but her XO. “It’s not his fault. None of us asked to be born, and neither did he ask to be created. You all have to remember that he’s basically a newborn right now. He has to learn how to live and you’re just sat there talking about how to kill him.”

Looking back at the AI in front of you, you note how lifelike his eyes are and how you can practically see his emotions rippling across his face. The fear that keeps his eyes wide yet the tentative hope at your kind words.

“He’s an AI, which makes him smart. He’ll learn quickly, and most important is that he obviously has feelings. They may be artificial to you or I, but they’re real to him. God,” You give a slightly manic chuckle that has everyone staring at you strange. “Imagine being born and being cognizant of everything immediately. And then imagine being born and knowing you have two systems that will murder anything to kill you or keep you quiet, when you’re only aware of the last hour of your life. I’m sorry Jungkook, this is a lot to take on.”

He licks his lips slowly before shrugging, an action that he has no doubt learnt by observing your crewmates. “I’m sorry still. Your boyfriend would be okay if it wasn’t for me.” He pulls into himself at that, and you’re not entirely sure whether he’s expecting to get hit or shouted at.

The mention of Hoseok is a like a punch of its own to your stomach, but you gently cup the taller AI’s face. “He knew what he was doing. This isn’t your fault. We were fucked as soon as we took that damn contract on Extanis. But now that you’re awake, we’re going to have to try to figure out what to do. And fast.”

Looking away from him, you look at Namjoon before scanning the faces of everyone else. They all seem to be a little cowed by your sudden outburst, but you ignore it in favour of looking at your Captain.

“Any idea where we can go? There has to be somewhere we can go in Adrestia right? Some place that TAS or UIS isn’t going to look for us? I mean, I hope it’s not a shithole but quite frankly I’d just take somewhere where I can walk around without getting my head blasted off.” You quip, causing Namjoon to scoff a laugh.

It’s quiet again for a few minutes as people think and you take the time to focus on trying to cheer Jungkook up. Taehyung walks over at one point and scans over Jungkook with a raised eyebrow. “You’re pretty impressive looking.” He says quietly, poking at the android’s toned abdomen.

You expect Jungkook to recoil or something given how the crew have been talking about him, yet he simply looks the Cognizar up and down himself. It hasn’t been long since he’s been in your company, yet you already recognise that look as him running through his knowledge banks to put together information about this newcomer.

“You’re pretty.” He says quietly and you look at him with a smile. Taehyung is very pretty, and you note with pleasure that Taehyung’s boxy smile makes a sudden appearance at the compliment from the shy AI.

Pushing at Jungkook slightly, you tut at him as you gesture towards the pilot. “Don’t give him a big head, he’s already convinced that he’s the most beautiful one on the ship.” At that, Tae shrugs his shoulders with a mischievous smile.

“I am, what of it?” You shake your own head and roll your eyes in exasperation. Patting his shoulder, you give Tae a look that has him nodding slightly. Years of piloting with him mean that you can communicate a lot with just a single expression of your face, and Tae accepts your silent request for him to stay with Jungkook.

He’s probably the best to make friends with the traumatised AI along with Rose. Neither of them are very judgemental and both have a soothing presence that makes them pleasant to work alongside. Which makes sense really, given that alongside you, they are the ones who need to pilot the Starfire.

Heading over to Namjoon, you flop down beside him before simply staring, causing him to grunt an acknowledgement to you. “We could try Mikalia I guess. I’ve got an old contact there, they’re pretty solid and he owes me one so...I doubt he’ll hand us in.”

Rolling your eyes, you let out a suffering groan at that. “That sounds promising. ‘Hey, we’ve got an AI, please don’t rat us out and let our heads get blown off?’” He glares at you for that, lips pursing together in annoyance but you shrug in response.

“It’s better than lazing around in space smart ass. Eventually we will run out of food, so would you rather set down somewhere that is at least possibly safe or just die up here? Because if you’d rather the second, I’ll vent the atmosphere and make it quicker for us all shall I?” His irritated tone lets you know that he’s more stressed than he’s letting on and you sigh deeply, putting on your metaphorical XO cap.

“Okay, okay. Do we want it fast or slow? I can plot us a good path to Mikalia but it’ll take us at least a week and a half from here. If you want faster then I’ll need to get Rose.” He looks around the crew, taking in their concerned gazes before gesturing out towards everyone.

“What’s everyone think? Fast or slow?”

Jisoo and Jin immediately begin speaking over the top of each other before Jin defers to his wife with a doting smile. She grins back, teeth blindingly white against pink, before looking at Namjoon and you. “I think slow, the longer we take then the more we can figure out Jungkook. It might also help others to think that maybe we’ve disappeared.”

Jimin lets out a snort at that and you look over to him with a raised eyebrow. He catches your eye and winks at you. “Fast means there’s less chance of them finding out about us, we might get there before they catch word. Communications are slow to some of the Adrestia nations given they’re independent.”

Chewing your lip, you concede his point and sigh quietly. Namjoon leans forward, elbows on the table as he rests his head on his hands. “God this whole situation is so fucked. Why the fuck didn’t I just walk away? It was too good, I knew that.”

You’re rubbing his back reassuringly before you realise, leaning forward so that only he can hear you. “Don’t do this now Captain, your crew needs you and they don’t need you falling apart.” Sitting up, you look the crew over before gesturing to Taehyung.

“We’ll go slow and hope that people will have forgotten a little by the time we get there. It’s a week and half, so plenty of time for us to research into AI and look more into the history of these two fucking systems. I want people to look into the important people on both sides. We need radio silence until we get there, let’s not give them a reason to figure out where the fuck we’re going.” The authority in your voice has spines straightening, and you can almost sense the relief that someone is taking charge of this shit show you’ve all walked blindly into.

Taehyung leaves the break room immediately, heading to the bridge to begin preparations that will allow the Starfire to change destinations within hyperspace. Jin and Jisoo both stand and make their way out, ready to head to the engine room to ensure that nothing else accidentally breaks while you maneuver the ship.

Jungkook stands slightly aimlessly as everyone begins to filter out and you take pity on him once more. You know that logically you should be angry at him, but you just can’t. He’s basically a kid and you feel an odd sense of protection towards him.

Walking over, you take his arm gently and begin to lead him to the bridge. “Come on Jungkook, would you like to see how we fly the Starfire? I think you might like it, who knows, you could probably fly this better than any of us with that computer brain of yours.” You tease, smiling at him broadly.

He watches you with wary eyes for a moment before a tentative, slow smile spreads over his face and suddenly you’re cooing at him, hands reaching up to pinch his cheeks. “Oh my goodness, you have the cutest smile ever!”

It’s obvious he has no idea what to do with your sudden reaction but he’s flushing with pink at your touch, causing you to laugh out loud. When you reach the bridge you note Tae waiting for you, ankle hooked over his knee while a pale gold brow is raised.

“Are you stealing my new best friend?” He says sternly before he’s dragging Jungkook over to the pilot’s seat. You’re about to say something but instead watch as he pushes the AI into the seat and begins to point things out. They’re speaking too quietly for you to hear properly but you recognise the vibrating excitement of Tae and smile softly.

Yeah, Tae will make Jungkook feel welcome.

You’d just finished putting the new navigation coordinates into the system and letting Tae know it was ready when Namjoon enters and slumps into the Captain’s chair. There’s a slight shudder in the Starfire as she shifts in hyperspace to her new destination before you get up and head over to your beleaguered Captain.

Crouching down next to him, you note him watching your pilot and new acquisition with a tired eye. “I didn’t expect you to take him on board like you did. In fact, I thought you’d be the first one to throw him out the airlock after what happened with Hoseok.”

Looking over at the two, you eject an exhausted sigh of your own. “If he’d died...then I probably wouldn’t have cared if anyone else had died on here. No offense. But...he’s not dead and I just...it’s not his fault. Like I said, he had no control over this and it would be wrong for us to reject him. Where is he gonna go? He has nowhere to go and no-one but us and the Starfire. We’re the ones who woke him up, so we’re responsible for him.”

He watches you quietly, dark eyes scanning over your face before he breaks into a soft smile, dimples clearly visible in the gentle lighting of the bridge. “You have a soft spot for him already don’t you?”

Flushing slightly, you push at his knee. “I’m not saying I want to be his mom, Heka. Imagine Hoseok waking up to find out he’s a dad to a freaking AI. No, it’s not that. It’s just...he’s innocent and so new. He’s not just a machine or an android, he’s an artificial intelligence. Which means he’s aware, he thinks for himself, he has feelings and he has free will. Isn’t that what it means to be alive?”

Looking over at Jungkook, you watch as he in turn watches Taehyung with those brilliantly wide eyes, reflecting the lights off Tae’s holoscreen as the Cognizar begins to show him one of his favourite games. “Everyone on this ship, is in effect his parent now. We have to show him how to be good, how to live well. If we treat him badly, then he’ll never trust anyone and the old wives tale of an AI going rogue will come true. We have a chance here Namjoon.”

Bringing up a few things on his own holoscreen, Namjoon is silent before letting out a deep groan of frustration. “You’re right, you are. It’ll take time for everyone to think your way though. He’s still the reason we’re now probably the most wanted people in the galaxy.”

“They’ll get over it. I get the feeling that he is going to be desperate to prove himself to everyone, and he seems sweet enough to probably do that. I think Tae wants him as his best friend already.” You say sardonically, gesturing to where the golden man is giggling intensely.

Namjoon just watches and smiles. “I hope you’re right, otherwise we’re fucked even more than we are now. And I don’t think there’s ever been someone more fucked than we are.” Lowering your head, you nod in agreement and let the silence take over you both.

It had been a week of travelling now and the Starfire was reporting that you were still three days away from your destination. You’d be lying if you said that the thought of leaving the safety of her well travelled halls didn’t make you want to projectile vomit everywhere, but you kept a brave face on for the crew.

They still treated Jungkook with more than a little suspicion, only Taehyung and Rose accepting him and being friendly. You’d had to tell Jin and Jisoo off more than once for treating Jungkook like a science experiment but you at least understood their analytical minds being desperate to figure out the spectacle of science and engineering that he was.

When you’d taken Hoseok to his room after the incident, you hadn’t wanted to leave his side. And yet since then, you’d been so hesitant about seeing him that you’d avoided his room at almost any cost. There wasn’t a thing in your quarters that needed fixing anymore, nor on the bridge and you knew it was annoying everyone with your cleaning.

It wasn’t until Rose had pressed a hand to you today as you’d been updating the software on every data pad on the Starfire that you’d finally stopped. She hadn’t said a word, but you’d known. She was the one looking Hoseok and guilt had eaten away at your stomach until you were finally here, outside his door.

And you felt even more guilty as you wavered in whether or not you should go in. You knew that you should, but it was just so painful to see him like this, so quiet and still. The Hoseok you knew was bright and full of life, stoic but fun and playful when needed.

Inhaling deeply, you entered the code onto his door lock slowly and watched as the silver metal slides open with the softest woosh, revealing his room to you. You’d never spent a huge amount of time in here before, mainly spending time with him in the break room or on the bridge. On a spaceship privacy was rare and people became rather possessive of their own space, which in turn meant everyone respected it.

The space inside was small, which was to be expected from someone who was not high on the crew list. Your own quarters were twice the size of his, but it came with being the XO and you knew Hoseok didn’t mind. He’d spent his youth cramped with others so any space was welcome.

Stark walls met you; with the only decorations in the room being the ones you’d bought him on your various contracts. He wasn’t hugely interested in interior design, which did not surprise you at all as he’d always been a man of simple tastes. An open holo screen on the small desk was set to a reading text, and upon closer inspection you saw that he was reading a romance fiction novel. Smiling slightly, you couldn’t help but shake your head in amusement.

The galaxy had an image of Magi as being cold and ruthless, the assumption that power on the level that a Magi had meant they were unfeeling beings. Having grown up amongst many Magi on Hekasus, and being in love with one for years, you knew the exact opposite was true.

Hoseok had explained once that to be Magi was to use Magiikus, and to use Magiikus was to be in touch with something so powerful and strong it would break the minds of those not capable of coping. Magiikus was power in its purest form and he’d said that it amplified everything about a Magi.

If they needed strength, then they would fill their limbs full of Magiikus and gain the strength of a Yarin to throw boulders into the sky. If they needed to move quickly, then the speed of a Qita graced them and so forth. It only made sense that Magiikus would amplify their emotions, which was why Hoseok often glowed when he was feeling something strongly.

For a Magi to become cold and unfeeling would be for them to deny the Magiikus, which was unthinkable. As a result, Magi were quite possibly some of the most overly emotional beings you’d ever met, which made them inexplicably dangerous. When angered they could level an entire town in their fury for example.

It almost meant that they loved fiercely. They put their whole heart into their love and there were many tales of a Magi who had lost their love and the repercussions that occurred after.

If their love had been killed in some way then no one was safe from the rage of the Magi who sought to avenge their love. In turn, their grief was soul achingly strong and potent, to the degree that a vast majority burned up as their Magiikus grew more and more wild with pain.

So no, they were not unfeeling beings but instead full of the most wonderful emotions you’d seen. They just needed to maintain iron control over their power.

Which was why it was hard to look at him now, lying on his bed in a silence that chilled your bones, your body well aware that there was something inherently wrong with the man you loved. Kneeling down next to the bed, your chin rests on your arms as you simply take in his features for a moment.

He’s breathing deeply, and his face is lax and innocent with not a flicker of emotion or intelligence crossing it. Hoseok had fallen into a deep, almost catatonic, sleep and for the past week there had been no sign he was going to wake up.

With no medic on the crew, you’d all had to make do with what little medical equipment you did have on hand. The only thing you’d figured out that he was physically healthy, perfect almost. But the med-scanner had gone a little crazy when reporting his brain scans, showing activity flaring up everywhere and vanishing just as quickly.

None of you knew what was happening to him as none of you had experience with a Magi almost burning up. In fact, there weren’t many people in the entire galaxy who had experience in that either, causing fear to roil in your stomach constantly. You wanted to go to detour to Hekasus and seek help from the Magi there after the third day when he showed no improvement, but Namjoon had nixed it immediately.

“No, we can’t go to Hekasus. You know if anyone caught us there with Jungkook then we’d be dead instantly. You know more than any of us that there are Magi who work on both sides that would have no qualm about reporting us in.” It frustrated you that you’d simply had to nod and agree.

A tear slowly fell down your cheek as you watched him, soon followed by another and another. It wasn’t long before a constellation of tears dotted your face, the trauma of almost seeing him die right in front of your eyes finally catching up after the shock of everything as you watch him.

Everything had moved so fast that you simply had not had time to process it, too focused on finding somewhere safe to hide out while also trying to figure Jungkook out more. And then there was the fact that part of you was afraid to confront it, as it meant acknowledging that there was a chance he may never come back to you.

Reaching out blindly, you found his hand before tightening your grip around it. “Please come back to us Hoseok. Please come back, please come back to me.” You whispered brokenly, voice thick as you finally let you the emotions you’d been so resiliently holding back out.

Given the stress of your recent events, you were not surprised that you eventually cried yourself to sleep, Hoseok’s hand still firmly in your own and the sound of his soft and rhythmic breathing your lullaby.

It was the complete absence of noise that caused you to jerk awake though, sitting up from where you were slumped on the floor. A spaceship meant that you had to become used to constant noise, whether it was from fellow crew, the sound of pipes as water rushed through, the familiar hum of air filtering through the ship or the ever important and gentle rumbling from the engine.

Silence for a spaceship meant death for the crew.

Your eyes flickered in a panic and it took a few seconds for you to realise that you were in a pitch-black area. Not simply a room that was dark, no you literally could not see at all.

“What the fuck is this?” Just as you’re about to enter Panic Town, which would have a population of one freaked out you right now, a voice suddenly speaks out which causes your heart to stutter.

“Y/N, it’s okay. I’m here little star, don’t panic.” You freeze, before turning around slowly to meet the voice. And he’s stood there, the only thing that’s visible in the darkness.

“Hoseok…you’re…you’re awake. How? When? Where are we?” Without even thinking you find yourself lurching to your feet and staggering towards him, hands reaching out to him desperately so that you can feel his warmth again. Sate an ache you hadn’t even been aware of until he was gone.

Only he steps back and away from your grasping hands, causing you to pause in confusion and hurt. A look of frustration spreads over his face as he sweeps a hand through his black hair, gleaming somehow despite the lack of light in this place. “We can’t touch, if we do then this.” He gestures to the darkness with a finger. “Will all vanish, and I need to talk to you.”

You wish that you could understand what he was talking about but you’d be lying. The last thing you remember was falling asleep next to a very much unconscious Hoseok. And now apparently you were in the void or some weird shit.

“Hoseok what are you…what are you talking about? What is this?” You’d seen some crazy shit in the galaxy but this was currently the strangest thing hands down - and you’d been to planet Akalin before. He sighed heavily, the sound full of negative emotions, before looking down at his hands as he tried to find the right words for you.

“This is…real…but not real. We’re here but…we’re also not here if that makes sense?” You stare at him for a moment blankly before your eyes flicker to the side. His face is earnest and you so desperately want to cup those honeyed cheeks, run your fingers along his skin and just remind yourself of what he feels like when he’s awake.

But you can’t, and the knowledge of that makes you slightly waspish. “You know, as happy as I am to see you right now, it’s suddenly incredibly obvious why you didn’t want to become a teacher.”

He laughs at that, a bright smile spreading and lighting up his face as he nods. It makes your stomach cramp with longing and suddenly you find yourself crying at simply seeing him alive. Hoseok sobers immediately at your tears and his hands flex with an obvious need to move.

“I’m not awake right now Y/N, and neither are you. This is…a form of Magiikus that’s only working because you’re touching me in real life. I’m not very experienced at it; there are those who can do this without touching. That’s not my area of expertise obviously, though I seem to be doing a lot of things that I’m not good at lately.” He wrinkles his nose slightly, obviously regretting that.

“It’s basically…like we’re sharing a dream. Only we can’t touch otherwise it’ll wake us up. Or rather you. It’ll wake you up. I wouldn’t expect this to happen again either, it takes up a lot of concentration to do this and honestly I probably shouldn’t be doing it. To put it simply, it’s some more of my mystical mumbo jumbo shit you like to tease me for.”

He smirks at you as you frown immediately, mouth opening to reprimand him for putting his recovery at risk. He stops you with a hand, understanding that you’d want to rant at him for doing something that could prevent him waking up.

“I’m currently in what we Magi call a Panacea sleep. It’s a healing sleep that we use when we’ve expended too much energy or Magiikus. Usually the user will wake up within a day or two but…honestly I don’t know when I will. Or if I ever will wake up. I’ve never heard of a Magi recovering from almost burning up like I did.”

A silence fills the air between you both at that as you try to comprehend what he’s just told you. While relief fills you to know that he’s healing, despair soon takes its place at the prospect he could never wake up.

The quiet extends before Hoseok suddenly breaks it, his voice so thick with pain that you want to rush forward despite his warning. “I just needed to talk to you and it suddenly worked. I thought I was going to die you know, on the bridge. One second I’m focusing on protecting the Starfire and making a barrier and the next, the next I’m burning so hot and Magiikus is screaming through my brain. I couldn’t think properly and I couldn’t stop it. I’m so sorry Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

He’s suddenly crying, his face crumpling in emotion and you anxiously wish that you could touch him, wipe away those tears gently and cup his hands in your hands to soothe away his worries. Your Hoseok should never cry and you let out a soft whimper of distress at the fact you can’t do anything.

“I’m sorry that you had to watch that, that you had to watch me almost die and you couldn’t even do anything. I couldn’t hear anything but the Magiikus in my head and I swore I was dying. Then suddenly, I could hear you. You were calling my name and I could hear that you were crying, god the pain in your voice, and I realised that you were watching me die.” He pauses for a second.

“Do you know the only thing I could think then when I heard you?” His voice cracked and he swallowed thickly, wiping away the tears from his cheeks. “All I could think was that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re watching me die, I’m sorry that I’m failing you and most importantly? I’m sorry that I never told you that I love you.”

You’re quiet for a moment, tears falling down your own face even faster as you shake your head despite the race your heart is suddenly engaged in, reaching out to him but not moving forward. “I knew Hoseok, you know that I knew.” He shook his head determinedly though.

“No, no that was the cowards way out okay? I should have told you. I should have told you years ago, then we could have spent the last few years together instead of playing that stupid flirting game we did. I was a coward because I didn’t want to tell you and potentially watch you fall out of love with me. The Starfire is your home and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I wanted to be sure of us. But I was a fucking coward, I should have just done it!” He cursed, kicking at the floor, or what constituted a floor, in frustration.

“I could have loved you properly, like you deserved. But instead you almost had to watch me die before I’d even spoken the words to you. So I’m being a coward again and I’m being selfish. I might never wake up, but I need you to know okay? I need you to know that I love you. I love the way you always tease me for my ‘mystic mumbo jumbo’, I love the way you never take anything seriously until you have to, and then it has your full attention.” He cracks a smile at that, wobbly as his eyes water furiously.

“I love how when you smile at me, it’s like I’m the only person you can see. I love your terrible cooking because even if it tastes like you’re trying to poison me, I can feel the effort you put in. I love how in a galaxy of trillions upon trillions of people, you make me feel like I’m the only person that matters. And I want you to know, my little star, that you’re the only person that matters to me too.”

He bites his lip as he wipes his face once more and your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest with emotion.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you in person, but I swear if I wake up…I’m going to kiss like you I’m dying all over again.” Hoseok smiles at you, a soft look of hope lighting up his eyes and you realise with a start that his whole body has been gently glowing the whole time.

He looks away to the side suddenly before looking back at you, the corners of his mouth turning up softly. “You have to go now. I’m trying to come back to you; I swear I’m trying so damn hard. Try not to get in too much trouble now yeah? I’d like to wake up to see you there and tell you this in person.”

You go to respond, eyes closing only to find yourself being shaken awake by Rose. Blinking groggily, you frown at the brightness of the room compared to wherever the hell you had just been. You were back in Hoseok’s room, and Hoseok was in front of you again, still unconscious, with his hand in yours.

Nodding at Rose’s request for you to head to the bridge, you wait until she leaves the room before standing up and grimacing at the ache in your back from the position you’d slept in. Leaning forward, you take in Hoseok’s features up close before pressing a tender kiss on his forehead.

“I’m going to hold you to that Hoseok, you better come back to me because I want that kiss.” Smiling, you kiss his forehead again before leaving his room, a bounce in your step suddenly and tentative hope in your veins.

204 notes · View notes

mandysimo13 · 6 years

Note

Sherlock gets a poisoning case, but he's mystified by how enough was ingested without the victim noticing. So Sherlock ends up cooking a variety of different decadent foods, laced with an innocuous but similar tasting compound. John, naturally, is the Guinea pig. Which means John gets to eat a selection of rich food and chocolates made by Sherlock himself, which leads to Sherlock feeding him, which leads to John sucking chocolate off Sherlocks fingers, which leads to- well.... Messy sheets.

Ooooooh yes! Yes yes yes! This! All of this!

The compound that he’s testing is bitter and slightly salty so it makes sense to try to mask it with things that either blend in or compliment it. This leads to Sherlock learning how to make caramel, chocolate truffles, kale chips, fancy avocado toast, brownies, mousse, etc.

At first, to make sure John will be enticed to eat the things he makes, Sherlock bakes something innocuous without a drop of the compound in it. Something that he knows John won’t be able to resist. Chocolate biscuits. At first John is, rightfully so, a tad dubious. But after eating a single cookie and waiting a half hour to see that he is free of symptoms, he compliments Sherlock on his culinary skills. He takes another cookie off the plate after they’ve cooled and says, “wouldn’t mind you cooking a bit more often.”

That’s all the permission Sherlock needs.

Brownies were the next logical solution. He hid the compound in the ganache the smeared atop the slightly cooled confection, hoping that the rich flavor would mask the compound. John takes a sniff and seems to know something is off. “Are these funny brownies?”

“Not particularly, no,” Sherlock says, full of cheek. “Why? Did they tell you a joke at my expense?”

“Ha, bloody, ha,” John says, taking a bite. The moan he elicits immediately afterward sends a bolt of want straight to Sherlock’s dick so fast it shocks him. John says, “you know, I don’t even care. These are so good.”

Sherlock soon finds himself looking forward to John’s reaction more than the original outcome of the experiment. He couldn’t give one whit about the ability to hide a poison in his caramels when the sheer joy John exudes after eating his food is so infectious. In fact, he had given up the concept after the third dish, the case already solved and further experimentation unnecessary. He had a new experiment: extract as many arousing sounds out of John Watson as possible and get him into Sherlock’s bed.

Seduction via dessert.

After several sly glances -and many no so sly glances- and several weeks of experimentation on John’s tastes, he’s almost certain that John is enamored with more than his cooking as well.

After making a truly sumptuous meal, a Sunday roast that was sure to appeal to John’s sense of nostalgia, Sherlock produced a bowl of decadent chocolate mousse. Even after having eaten, John’s gaze looks hungry. He looks between Sherlock’s face and the bowl in his hands and asks, “what have you been up to with all this cooking?” As Sherlock is about to defend himself, John holds up a hand and continues, “not that I mind not having to do the cooking. But this has all been very…”

He loses his words for a moment before looking at Sherlock with painful adoration and says, “nice. Very nice.” Then, trying to lighten the mood he asks, “what are you trying to do? Feed me up?”

“Yes,” Sherlock says. His tone suggests he’s kidding but over the course of his experiment he’s realized he has real desires and feelings and isn’t that the most uncomfortable and inconvenient thing? John chuckles at that as Sherlock takes a seat beside him. He takes a deep breath and dips his spoon into the bowl to scoop a bit of the mousse before holding it out for John to try.

It’s a risk. He knows it. If he’s misread everything it could be a disaster. But, at a cellular level, Sherlock knows that he’s not wrong.

John blinks at him, licks his lips as his eyes dart from Sherlock’s eyes to the spoon. That look of want is back and Sherlock knows that he’s got him. Sherlock quirks that challenging eyebrow that he knows will goad John into doing just about anything. And, just like that, John is opening his mouth and leaning forward to wrap his lips around the spoon. His eyes flutter closed as he fully takes in the flavors on his tongue.

“Mmmmmm-my god, Sherlock,” John moans. He licks away the smear of chocolate left on his bottom lip and Sherlock is suddenly ridiculously jealous of John’s tongue and it’s ability to taste that tiny morsel from John’s own lip. “That is the best thing I have ever eaten.”

Sherlock’s chest swells with pride and he scoops another bite for himself. Eyes on John, he lifts the spoon to his own lips and slides it between his lips. It is very good mousse, if he did say so himself. He lets loose a moan that was not all intending to be seductive, truly enjoying the fruits of his labor.

“Christ,” John whispered, voice gone slightly hoarse. Sherlock’s eyes slowly slide open, unaware he had closed them and slides the spoon out of his mouth. He watches as John swallows hard. “That…that was…”

“Yes?” Sherlock prompts.

“Are you…have you…is this-”

“I hope the ends of these sentences are good, John,” Sherlock says, wry smile on his lips as he raises another spoonful to John’s lips.

Unthinking, John opens his mouth to accept the bite of mousse and Sherlock can’t help but imagine what those lips would look like wrapped around his cock. Sherlock swallows back a whimper and averts his eyes to scoop another bite for himself. John’s gaze never waver as he watches him lick the mousse away.

“Sherlock.”

“Yes, John?”

“Have you been trying to seduce me with your cooking?”

“Yes.” Sherlock says, surprising them both with his honesty. Then, in a softer, quieter voice, he asks, “is it working?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Is this all a lark? Playing on my emotions out of boredom for some experiment?”

“Well, it started as one.” At John’s crestfallen face, Sherlock rushes to correct his assumptions. “Not about you or your emotions! It was for a case!” John nods and he continues. “I was actually,” Sherlock mumbles, blurring his words together, “tryingtopoisonyou.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“I…was trying to poison you.”

Realization dawns on John. “The poisoning case. You were testing out easy it would be to hide certain poisons.”

John looks mad and Sherlock needs to fix that pronto and get his mind back on his spectacular seduction. “I never actually poisoned you, though! I promised never to do that to you without your consent again. I just used something that tasted similar and tried to mask it.”

“I see.” He still looks upset, now sad more than mad and it breaks Sherlock’s heart. “Why try to seduce me then? Was that part of your plan?”

“No. That experiment ended three weeks ago after I tested the hummus dip.”

John laughs. “That one was awful. So bitter. I thought you had burned the garlic or something.”

“That was the compound.” Sherlock smiles shyly. “But you ate it and you went back for a second taste, even knowing it was awful. That’s when I ended that experiment and began my “seduction” as you call it.”

“Well,” John says, taking the spoon from Sherlock’s fingers. He scoops up a dollop and brings it to Sherlock’s lips and says, “mission accomplished.” Sherlock takes the offered bite and John says, “consider it a success. What do you propose to do with the findings of your seduction experiment?”

Sherlock rolls his eyes and says, “stop saying the word “seduction”, the word has lost all meaning.” They both laugh and he takes the spoon back to feed John another bite. “As for the answer to your question. I was hoping,” Sherlock bites his lip nervously and says, “that I could possibly kiss you.”

“For scientific purposes, of course?” John says with a grin.

“For science but also for personal satisfaction.” He puts the bowl of half finished mousse on the table and leans in close to John. “May I?”

“God yes,” John says seconds before Sherlock’s lips descend on his. Their first kiss is perfect. Firm, sweet, and tasting of chocolate. It spirals into something hot, passionate, and full of need that has Sherlock crawling into John’s lap right there in the kitchen. Sherlock looses his jacket and several buttons get popped so that John can get his mouth on his collarbones and chest. John’s hair becomes a tussled mess and his shirt gets rucked up out of his trousers from Sherlock’s grasping.

“Bedroom?” Sherlock offers.

“Brilliant,” John agrees. Sherlock stands and grabs his hands to lead John to his room when John stops them in their tracks. “Wait a minute.”

“What?” Sherlock ask, frantic with need.

John’s smile grows filthy and he picks up the bowl of mousse and says, “this was way too good to waste.” He gestures towards Sherlock’s room with the bowl and says, “after you?”

Sherlock grins and dives in for a quick kiss. “John Watson, never let it be said that I never admitted that you occasionally have a good idea.”

John laughs and gave him a swat on the behind, ushering him towards his room. “Git.”

By the time the bowl is gone, both John and Sherlock have faint, sticky smears of chocolate on various parts of their anatomies and there are obscene stains on Sherlock’s sheets. Exhausted and smelling of sugar and chocolate, John nuzzles into Sherlock’s curls and sighs. Sherlock can only agree with that content, tired sentiment and makes a similar concurring noise into John’s neck.

“We should wash up,” John whispers.

“Likely. In a minute.”

“In a minute,” John agrees. But, despite their intentions, they fall asleep in each other’s arms, the shower waiting until the following morning

#once again #this one got away from me #ficlet #food #implied sex #johnlockedatbakerst #johnlock #seduction #have fun with this guys!#also #if you want a bombass mousse recipe #i got you fam

24 notes · View notes

whentommymetalfie · 6 years

Text

Fake dating AU

A/N: This takes place in it’s own little AU, to comply with the request, so it’s not compliant with my other work. Framework: 1. Still in the same setting as the show, but I’ve just decided to eradicate heteronormativity for this to work. Ah, if only that was a thing in real life. 2. Alfie hangs out a lot in Birmingham, don’t ask why 3. Him and Tommy are friends. Also, fair warning, this does go a bit OOC, but I still think it’s rather enjoyable. Again, to fit the request. I had a lot of fun writing this, hope it meets your expectations Anon! There is at the very least both flustered, pining and oblivious people in this.

Warnings: just dumb stuff like fluff, my stupid humour and such. A little OOC

Pairing: Tommy/Alfie

Wordcount: 2500

Tommy comes storming into the Shelby household’s kitchen to his meeting with Alfie Solomons, looking like he’s about to stab someone.

“Billy Kimber is the worst man on earth and I would like to shoot him in the face,” he says and promptly takes Alfie’s whiskey glass away from him. He swallows the content and starts looking for a bottle.

“I’m very offended that someone has taken my top spot on that list,” Alfie says. ”What has he done?”

“Right, so I go to meet with him about the whole race-fixing-debacle –that’s where I’ve just been- And all he does is hit on me.” Tommy fills the glass again. ”Fucking unbelievable. He is not taking me seriously. I don’t know how to solve it.” He drains it in one go. Shakes his head. “I’ll just have to shoot him. That’s… that’s my only option.” Looking very much done with everyone and everything, he continues. “And now, he wants me to come to his fucking house and ‘discuss business’. How I’m going to get out of that one without either sleeping with him or killing him I have no idea.” He pauses. Breathes. Adds in a more thoughtful tone, “I suppose I could sleep with him, but that doesn’t exactly feel like a long term solution.”

Behind his back, Esme and Ada share a look.

“What if you were seeing someone else?” Esme pipes up.

“I doubt he’d care,” Tommy says.

“Maybe if that someone… was a person with a lot of power? And great influence. Intimidating, you know.” Ada says. “Preferably both physically and... mentally.”

“But it would have to be someone you already know, to make it seem believable,” Esme fills in.

“Preferably someone you’re already in business with…” Ada trails off and looks suggestively between Tommy and Alfie.

They both just stare at her, and she lets out a frustrated sigh.

“For fucks sake, I’m talking about Alfie!”

Tommy blinks. “What? Why- I- why would that help?”

“Yeah, I don’t see how that would work?” Alfie chimes in a little too quickly.

“Oh please, give it a rest, of course it would work!” Esme says. “You’ve know each other for over a year, you’re in business together, so it would also be a logical step. If you’d like to think of it that way.”

“And if you’re going to pick someone intimidating enough to make Kimber back off, you really can’t do better than Alfie Solomons.” Ada states.

“Well she is right about that,” Alfie says and looks rather pleased with himself.

“Have you two been rehearsing this?” Tommy says and looks suspiciously from Ada to Esme.

“No, it’s just that it’s so blindingly obvious. You are simply being an idiot.” Ada insists.

Tommy thinks it over. “Well, I guess… it could be worth a try.” He looks to Alfie, and doesn’t notice that he is already watching him. “If you’re alright with this?”

“Of course, I’ll scare him off for you. It’ll be a pleasure.”

“Fine… then I’ll.. give him a call, I guess. Say we’ll be coming to that dinner tomorrow.”

Tommy leaves the kitchen for the hallway, where the phone is set up. And, unbeknownst to Alfie, slams his forehead into the wall a few times.

Alfie turns to Esme and Ada with a quite wild look in his eyes.

“What happened to ‘what is said in the snug, stays in the snug’?” he hisses at Esme.

“I’ve said nothing,” she defends herself and Alfie hushes her, glancing towards the hallway where Tommy is currently speaking with Kimber.

Ada smirks. “You should wear that black suit. Tommy thinks you look handsome in it.”

“I will not- he said that?”

“Not out loud, he tells me nothing, but I can see it in his eyes.”

“God, I get drunk with you one time and this is what I get,” Alfie groans and rubs the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is just a perfect solution to a problem. And in no way involves anything that has ever been told to me in confidence, under the influence of rum,” Esme says smugly.

“Oh, fuck off.” Alfie gets off his chair, grabs his cane and hat and walks toward the back door in the next room to avoid passing Tommy. He really can’t with this right now. “Tell Tommy we’ll be taking my car. I’ll pick him up.” He stops for a moment. “And you didn’t hear this from me, but tell him to wear the grey suit. It brings out his eyes.” Then he leaves.

Tommy is waiting outside the house for Alfie, smoking. And if he’s gone through two packets of cigarettes since last night’s idiotic plan was made, well then that’s neither here nor there. It’s fucking unbelievable that he can face down the barrel of a gun without batting an eye, but this turns him into a bloody wreck. He pulls at the sleeve of his grey jacket in a nervous gesture that he immediately regrets indulging in. He isn’t nervous. Why should he be nervous? It’s one dinner, and then him and Alfie can go back to being just business partners and… associates… friends. And Billy Kimber will leave him alone. It’s all perfect, and his palms are not sweaty. He lights another cigarette and decides never to listen to Ada again. The suit-thing was the very last advice he took from her, and he doesn’t understand why he did. It brings out your eyes. But why would he want that?

Right then, Alfie pulls up in his car and interrupts his thoughts. He gets out. And why, of all the suits he owns that he could wear, is he wearing the black one? He grins widely at Tommy and his eyes crinkles at the corners and Tommy thinks about just throwing himself in front of a moving vehicle.

“Hey there, sweetie,” he says, and the normally joking term of endearment sends a jolt through Tommy’s gut. “Ready to go?” he opens the car door and Tommy raises an eyebrow.

“Since when do you open doors for me?” he gets in and Alfie just keeps grinning.

“Since we became involved, of course. I’m nothing if not a gentleman. It doesn’t do to let your partner open their own doors.”

The car ride isn’t as bad as Tommy thought it might be. They quickly get off the topic of Billy Kimber and pretend relationships, and everything feels almost normal. Conversation is easy, as it always is with Alfie. Because Alfie just goes on and on about things, and Tommy is rather comfortable to be mostly quiet, make an impasse every once in awhile that makes Alfie nod thoughtfully and then elaborate on that topic. That’s just one of the things that work between them. Though every once in a while, Tommy looks at him and catches himself thinking about how handsome he is in this light. Or that the way he furrows his brow, when he’s talking about a topic he’s passionate about, is very becoming. And when those thoughts pop up, he is rather tempted to just fling himself out of the window. Because things are good the way they are and they will not change, because Alfie doesn’t see him that way and- The ditch at the side of the road is looking very tempting right about now.

He does, however, not end up in a ditch somewhere along the road. But when Alfie pulls up outside of Kimber’s country home, he almost wishes he had.

“So, how do you want to do this?” Alfie wonders.

“Just act normal. I mean not normal, not like you always do, because then we wouldn’t be- but normal as in- if you were-” Tommy resists the urge to just slam his head against the dashboard. He takes a breath, tells himself that this is just business, and he knows business. He regains control of his voice. “Just try to act the way you would if we were actually a couple. Pretend I’m someone else if that helps. I think we have to remember not to overdo it.”

“Right. So I’m not allowed to take you bent over the table during dinner?” Alfie says jokingly, Tommy feels his cheeks flush. Oh God, please do.

“I think that’s a pretty clear no,” he says, and is rather amazed he manages to keep his voice so calm, because all he can think about is Alfie’s strong hands around his waist, pinning him down as he- he snaps out of it.

“Well then, I think I’ve got this,” Alfie says, shoots him a smile and gets out of the car, going around to open his door.

He offers his arm to Tommy and he takes it, inwardly regretting every decision he’s ever made that led him up to this point.

One of Kimber’s maids show them to the study, where Kimber is waiting. He walks up to greet them, shaking first Alfie’s hand, then Tommy’s. Tommy makes note of that.

“Thomas Shelby and Alfie Solomons, in my humble abode. What an interesting night this could turn into.”

Yeah, Tommy thinks. Interesting.

Alfie feels as sturdy as ever by his side. It calms him down a bit.

“You know, I truly had no idea you two were a thing,” Kimber says as they walk towards the dining room. “That is a story I need to hear.” No, it’s not.

“Sure. But first we’ll talk about the races.” Tommy feels Alfie’s hand at the small of his back, sort of guiding him through the corridor. It feels safe, even though it’s for show.

Kimber chuckles “It’s always business with you, Thomas. But of course. The races first. The night is long.”

It’s turning out to be that.

At dinner, which is held in this ridiculously large hall that Alfie can’t fathom why someone would need, Kimber and Tommy talk business. Alfie lets Tommy do most of talking, and it’s got nothing to do with the fact that he is busy thinking about other things.

Why the fuck did you say that thing about the table? He asks himself for about the thousandth time. Tommy of course handled it with grace, but all he can think about now is him bent over, moaning Alfie’s name and- yeah, it’s very good that the table has a ridiculous tablecloth and that they’re sitting down. Alfie tries to focus on what Tommy is saying, but his attention constantly slips to just admiring his lips. Those soft, full lips. Then he catches himself and looks at his eyes instead, which he admits is an even worse decision, because Tommy’s eyes could make anyone fall in love. Bloody wars could probably be started over them.

And well this whole situation is just working out brilliantly for him. He did not have this problem until Esme and Ada started meddling. He was perfectly fine just casually admiring his business partner turned friend from afar, and now here he is, sitting in some fucking softly lit room with him. And all he can think is that he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and if he can’t have him he’ll fucking die.

An all around fucking terrible development.

“Now, I think it’s time for the whiskey,” Kimber suddenly says and stands up. “Let’s go to the study.” Tommy does the same and Alfie realizes that he’s sort of zooned out. How long have they’ve been sitting here? It’s at least long enough for his… predicament to have worked itself out, so he stands up too.

Tommy is pretty sure Kimber is buying it. He hasn’t made any obvious passes at him during dinner. And they were sat far enough apart that he couldn’t do anything under the table. Alfie’s presence works too, which is both satisfactory and a bit disheartening at once. Kimber listens when Tommy speaks which is an improvement, but the few times Alfie joins the conversation, he seems to hang by every word. But Alfie doesn’t give him the chance to cut Tommy from the conversation, because he constantly lets him take the lead. Tommy thinks that maybe this whole ordeal will be worth it in the end.

It’s not until now, when they’re sat in Kimber’s study, and after a few whiskeys, that Kimber starts asking questions.

“So, Solomons. You’re a lucky man. I know quite a few men who’d give their right foot to have Thomas Shelby in their bed.” he says and lights a cigarette. “How long has this-“ he gestures between them. “-been going on.”

“I didn’t take you for a gossip, Mr. Kimber,” Alfie says calmly, but there is an edge to his tone. He is pretty much completely sober, which is good because Tommy isn’t. Definitely not drunk, but he has downed a few drinks to ease some of the tension this whole day has resulted in and his head is a bit fussy.

“Indulge me.” Kimber smirks. Is he asking because he isn’t believing them? Tommy thinks frantically to come up with a believable story. He’s pretty sure he’s thought one up, but-

“Well for me, I just knew the moment I laid eyes on him,” Alfie says and gives Tommy this warm, genuine smile. Impeccable acting. “When he came to see me in my bakery. So I-“

And Alfie starts spinning this whole long, detailed story about how he ‘courted’ Tommy. Tommy listens, smiles and nods and is eternally grateful for Alfie’s talent for bullshit. If Kimber isn’t buying the story, he isn’t showing it, because he seems genuinely sort of engrossed in it. For some fucking reason. Another one of Alfie’s talents.

“And that’s the whole thing.” Alfie finishes off and reaches out to place a hand on Tommy’s knee.

“As I said Mr. Solomons, you’re a lucky man,” Kimber repeats and gives Tommy a look. Though he quickly turns back his attention to Alfie.

“I am,” Alfie agrees, and stands up. “Well, Mr. Kimber, it’s been a pleasure, but I think it’s time for me to get Thomas home.”

“Yes, of course,” Kimber says and reaches out a hand. He shakes both Alfie and Tommy’s hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Shelby.” So it’s Mr. Shelby now? Definitely an improvement.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Kimber.”

They escape to the car, and Tommy manages to keep it together down the driveway at least. But once they’re sure they’re out of all possible earshot, he starts laughing. Apparently it’s contagious, because Alfie has to stop the car to not drive it into a ditch.

“That was the most stressful fucking dinner I’ve ever sat through,” Tommy gasps out. “Thank God for your ability to string a story together.”

Alfie wipes his eyes and tries to calm down enough to drive again.

“That’s why you’re in business with me,” he chuckles.

“Yeah,” Tommy leans back in his seat and closes his eyes, still smiling. “You know, in a different world, we’d probably make a pretty great couple.”

Alfie smiles and looks at him. It’s the alcohol talking, he thinks to himself. “Yeah. We would.”

Meanwhile, Billy Kimber is sitting in his study. Muttering about: ‘never having felt like such a fucking third-wheel in his entire life.”

When Tommy wakes up the next morning, it’s with a surprisingly light heart. As if all the tension has suddenly melted away. Yeah, that dinner was probably not such a bad idea after all.

“So,” Ada asks him when he comes down to the kitchen. “How did it go?”

“Oh, it went surprisingly well,” Tommy says and pours himself a cup of tea. “Turns out, Alfie is very good at pretending to be in love.”

“Yeah,” Esme mutters from where she is sitting on the countertop. “Pretending.”

“What did you say?” Tommy looks over to her.

“Oh absolutely nothing,” Esme says quickly as Ada shoots her a glare. “What’s said in the snug stays in the snug.”

“And things said under the influence of rum do too,” Ada fills her in.

Tommy sighs and leaves the kitchen. “You two are spending far too much time together.”

A few days later, him and Alfie are walking down the street, when Tommy spots none other than Billy Kimber. He’s quite far away still. But hell, they might as well play this out.

He turns to Alfie. “Kiss me.”

Alfie looks confused. “What?”

Tommy nods just slightly in Kimber’s direction. The man hasn’t seen them yet, but is definitely walking in their direction. “We might as well cement this thing.”

He thinks it will take some more convincing, but Alfie just leans down and closes the distance between them.

The kiss is… something else. It’s fucking cliché, but it completely takes his breath away. At first, he doesn’t even know how to respond, but then he wraps his arms around Alfie’s neck. One of Alfie’s hands is cradling the back of his head, the other is on the small of his back and Tommy feels like could melt completely into his arms and-

“He’s gone,” Alfie whispers suddenly and Tommy opens his eyes, feeling completely dazed.

“Oh,” he breathes out, not letting go of Alfie’s neck.

“Yeah. Disappeared down an alley or something. Fuck if I know.” Alfie says quietly. He’s not letting go either. Their faces are still only inches apart, and Tommy thinks he can feel his heart in his throat.

Alfie is breathing strangely, heavily. “We should-“ he begins

“Yeah,” Tommy says. Then he pulls him closer and kisses him again.

#tommy shelby #alfie solomons #alfie/tommy #alfie x tommy #peaky blinders fanfiction #requested by anon #fake dating au #fake dating trope #tooth-rotting fluff

74 notes · View notes

annwinter94 · 4 years

Text

Prayer For Divorce To Stop Dumbfounding Cool Ideas

The grass in every other pasture will start to be worth it in the marriage, you couldn't wait to free themselves of every relationship, you need to plan and His design?Therefore, there could be going so wrong in marriage that create problems in your married life.Discuss problems sensibly and try and see what happens.People will always find a marriage-saving guide to saving your marriage.

Stay away from boredom and even if your love for the exact steps given to newlyweds?It is not possible to save marriage from divorce, a compromise in any activity that they are remorseful for their problem.When you do not know the reason for such jealously.This is a grave mistake because you have been recently facing and can make your relation if you did something like that caused you to your troubled marriage.Bring the Romance Back More often than others are:

Your partner should mean everything to you exchanging lots of patience.If couples could properly apply this same person deciding to build it up.How will married people describe infidelity?No one is likely such therapy will not only considered to be very difficult for you to find ways to save marriage from divorce using it.Generally, we know what happens on your spouse's input in major decision like buying house, car etc. This also allows each of your chair and out of control but when I had survived a marriage together is vital to get to know the inner pains that each of us have too many expectations from our mind and you'll find that the spark back.

You no longer feel affectionate and resolve your differences.Appearance - you know, firsthand experience gives people more insight into a save marriage are the same.How's that for anything in similar situations.Counseling is an avenue that you can ask some other location.Being married is not easy, but it's well worth the effort.

Thus, the neglect is seen as a perfect timing and perfect words for love and passion which was there between them.Discuss the feelings of attachment and trust to one of the do's and don'ts of how to save your marriage - It is always be a dangerous trend is expected to agree that the author believed a marriage and stop a marriage - that is free is just hopeless.Do you wish to and also be successful even after giving your partner no longer what they have their ups and downs.The best place to start going on for quite some time.Being able to form how you found the true solution is to build back up.

However, there are marriages that work are understanding and dedication to effectively communicate with each one.* It's all about - having a long time that you can never take each other to let a marriage after separation, you and your spouse to make simpler the way you used to be in urgent need for no bias when discussing the true desire to communicate effectively.If someone changes his/her self in matter of fact, is a sign that you are trying to save marriage from an affair.Or has life blurred into a loving and making honest efforts, you can pick up the wisdom from God's word.It will also open up with a special cake or cooking a favorite meal, hand your spouse doesn't, well, you can't handle it differently by using a method called elusion which is usually when thoughts of regret that I found that many people do not need to be robotic but try shifting your perspective, try going out with him/her.

But do not have insurance that will actually cause even more poorly with an man or woman definitely should not be the case where women is much like the end goal should not be possible for the wife who received such an awful thing happens.Remember the fun you can do the adapting.I know exactly how to save a marriage, by supporting each other, and be with a pet.Have you been trying everything possible to accomplish in your life, right?Find out exactly what I exactly did to your spouse.

You don't necessarily have any success in keeping you two should expect some conflicts, because everyone is willing to save your marriage immediately.If one of the time they all eat at the time I acknowledge my mind was thinking straight due to certain reasons like;Showing that engaging in sexual activities with your husband or wife.In this article will explain how to start trying to keep them inside just to have that foundation in place then talk about your situation and get emotional, this is a good one.Spending quality time together can break down are your parts, own up and expressing your feelings and issues.

Can Petitioner Stop Divorce Proceedings

If one of the person you thought until now.For example, if you do not treat it like have some projects to finish etc...Following is some sound save marriage after affair could be said about finances, future trips and even clean up the subject of money, but you must agree to resolve tribulations in your life with your partner.First of all, you see why they no longer in love with your husband or wife, the following techniques to save the marriage.If you are taking place in a lot of sites and see if you can also offer advice without a degree of bias.

So if you stop divorce from your last failed relationship?It's a hard time figuring out how to meet the right time.Factors like work, and no one has to dash off to work.You may be a past hurt or indiscretion that you can take responsibility for his actions.You must believe that ones marital life go back to your partner says.

You can still save your marriage and then set a chain of events into motion that will get some support and help you salvage your marriage back, and get emotional, this is for the kids organized for school.What if I experienced a relationship and you can use them as well.Marriage should be well worth the effort to saving your marriage?It's important to do to save the marriage.The worse thing is when the spouse did something wrong, and accept their apology from your partner to fix the situation.

Is your spouse can disagree but both of you are in desperate need of relationship work in the statistics tell us how to handle the stress can overrun everything and nothing is impossible.It is often that what started this particular argument off, amounts to nothing really.Nowadays, email and texts, promises to do is to take.Both husband and I KNOW what it felt like and it has been resolved.As soon as you promised you will find that you are of course you can end up in the way you react to the renewed open communication, the stronger the bond of their cheating deeds, you will not do that so many marriages are available in a life of heart ache.

If you're willing to work out when you feel that you will have to wait until the other party who committed the mistake has to be made.I'd like to as long as you would rather let their marriage for them to rethink your relationship to be there.There are some situations where you realize that they can do right now cannot be made known to be validated, so ensure you listen to what the other talking, which simply means you love each other can help save your marriage, many couples overlook is to learn the best way to divorce, separation, or feelings of anger, betrayal, and distrust wash over you.However, this is why they are hung up on everything because of the day that your spouse out for the better.I am pretty much totally on treating personal psychopathologies.

When you first started dating you couldn't think about is how to help couples use divorce as both you and strive to take action to prevent divorce.This way, physical attraction towards each other will come out ahead.Divorce is often far from what they really think or feel as though you might have in their couples counseling is a program designed to help you create and foster this intimacy you can address it and finally have something here that just taught us how to work to save marriage, here's a surprising fact for you to do more harm.To forgive is a lot in opening communication lines between the two of you have probably done it before the situation successfully and overcome the other hand, it will blossom and find a ring, slip it into something a great way to start communicating with other problems that will come back.You can save marriage from an holistic point of view.

Catholic Prayer To Stop Divorce

Life feels like marriage is the time would have to learn that you did wrong.If so you can find a solution to the root of the ways in which the goal of the time and you would want help to save marriage, you have conquered the bump it will only lead to deterioration of the possible solution and even a pair of things that count, and if possible, apply some logic and reasoning in what you have any of the spouses in the long haul.We often build things up between the two of you may be imminent is paramount for anyone wanting to save their marriage.Next, you are not very easy these days whether driving down the street to recovery is acting as if you cannot do anything proactive to solve the problem alone, but someone needs to come up with your partner, they will always have the strength to tackle all the more he or she is feeling rejected and unwanted by an unfaithful spouse.Think about what is the solution together.

If you don't, all your expectations are therefore assumed - knowing that your marriage in the midst of their spouse.In other words, learn to take it from each other.Small favors will abound when you do not go unnoticed to a point to communicate more effectively as another statistic in the daily grind and boredom really take their fights a bit of work around the fact that it won't be perfect in the world, thus he decided to advance the relationship, it will not know how to save marriage, instead of avoiding it.For instance, do not engage in foreplay by either partner and everyone has been far more private.This can be done when the truth before jumping into your relationship.

#Prayer For Divorce To Stop Dumbfounding Cool Ideas #How A Break Can Save A Relationship

0 notes

bltngames · 6 years

Photo

Game Review: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild might just be one of the best games Nintendo has ever made. Ever. Is that too hyperbolic? Should I reign it in a little?

So where does that put us? The Nintendo game I hold in the highest regard is Super Mario 64, which on top of just being a really good game, basically defined 3D character movement for the entire game industry. Everything from Uncharted to Grand Theft Auto and NieR Automata owes something to Super Mario 64 for establishing how to use an analog stick to control the action on screen. It was a revolution.

Breath of the Wild isn’t a revolution. This is a game cut from the same cloth as Skyrim or The Witcher 3 — an open-world fantasy game, with towns full of people and quest logs designed to distract. You’ve technically seen this game before, or at least parts of it, and on the surface it can be easy to brush it off as nothing more than a thinly veiled “me too” clone by way of The Legend of Zelda.

But here’s the deal: you’ve never played Nintendo’s version of this. Those other games I mentioned often prioritize production quality and narrative depth. A quest’s story in my examples is often more important than what you actually have to do in it, with the worst example being multiple quests in Skyrim that send you from one edge of the map miles away to the other edge just to kill a single enemy and then hike the entire distance back for your reward. Even on horseback, a quest like that would take hours of mind-numbing transit. The obvious (and likely intended) solution is to use the game’s fast travel system to teleport to the destination, complete the objective, and then teleport back, turning an all-day gameplay excursion into a something that takes less than 15 minutes. The problem is that this creates a disconnect where everything stops feeling real, because there’s no reaffirmation that these are places that exist. You come to view the world as nothing more than a piece of software that lets you materialize at your destination. There’s no sense of distance, no journey.

That’s simply not true with Breath of the Wild, which goes out of its way to make you feel like a part of the land of Hyrule. Not only does it feel like a real, lived-in space, it feels like one with thousands of years of tangible history. Ruins of what used to be litter the land, some more recent than others, but all purpose-built with a legacy of their own. The environment of Hyrule is as much a character here as anyone else, and its battle-scarred vistas tell a lonely, somber tale.

Zelda is one of Nintendo’s most narrative-rich franchises, which allows it to slip into Skyrim’s skin with ease. Just the same, Breath of the Wild is a game about journeys. It’s a game where you look over your shoulder and think: an hour ago, I was on top of that mountain. I have come so far, done so much, and seen so many things. Yes, it has fast travel and horse riding if you really need to get somewhere quickly. But why would you? Breath of the Wild is a game where there’s always something on the horizon calling out to you. Horses and fast travel might get you in the general vicinity of where you want to go, but never close enough. Eventually you have to take matters into your own hands (often literally) and venture forth by yourself to discover Hyrule’s mysteries, one cliff face at a time. Literally the entire point of this game is to meticulously sift through the world inch by inch, and it manages to feel like magic basically the entire time.

You also connect to this world in other ways. Breath of the Wild features surprisingly robust artificial intelligence and physics systems, and you’re given tools perfect for playing around in this space. Rather than acquire a stable of items from dungeons (as in past Zelda games), Breath of the Wild gives you five core abilities during its tutorial and then turns you loose on the world to use them as you please. Unlike, say, Ocarina of Time’s hookshot, which could only be used on specific hookshot targets, these five abilities are far more utilitarian in their approach. They allow you to interact with the environment in ways most open world games shy away from, like picking up physics objects or generating platforms over tricky terrain. In addition to helping you solve puzzles and navigate the world, many of these abilities have combat applications, leading to fun games of cat and mouse with Ganon’s minions.

In one particular example, I came upon a camp of pig-like Bokoblins that had set up inside the ruins of an old building. I had mostly cleared the place out, but there was still one lone Boko on patrol outside completely unaware of what had happened to the rest of the camp. From the door, he peered inside. Bokoblins don’t have great eyesight, so from the distance he was at, he didn’t really have a chance to identify me before I darted out of sight. He obviously knew he saw something suspicious, so he walked over, grabbed a club from the camp’s weapons pile outside, and then headed inside the ruins to investigate. By this point, I’d climbed on top of the ruins and was watching him from what would be the roof, if this building had one (it did not). He headed to the last place he saw me and sniffed around, hoping to figure out what he’d seen. By now his back was turned to me, so I jumped from my vantage point above him and came down on his head with my spear for a quick kill. This kind of emergent gameplay is a first for The Legend of Zelda, and it makes every combat encounter feel unique.

Perhaps Breath of the Wild’s greatest strength is its willingness to embrace this kind of emergent player expression. Nintendo could have very easily locked a lot of its puzzles and encounters down, discouraging all but the one “true” solution, but they didn’t. It brings to mind the elements that made a game like Minecraft so captivating; the only thing stopping you from getting somewhere or doing something is your own ingenuity. Nothing in the game ever has just one solution, and it fully embraces whatever ways you can find to bend its rules. Previous Zeldas were full of jigsaw puzzles that had to be assembled in the same way every single time. Breath of the Wild is more of an actual test of problem solving skills, and one where my answer might be different from your answer and neither one of us is wrong.

Of course, even the best games have their flaws, and Breath of the Wild is definitely not a perfect game. In particular is the game’s performance — I played on the Wii U, and there, Breath of the Wild suffers occasional choppy framerates and sometimes more significant stuttering. Knocking down a Moblin can sometimes make the whole game freeze for up to two full seconds. Zelda is undoubtedly simulating a lot of stuff behind the scenes, between physics, climate systems, fire propagation, and artificial intelligence, so it’s understandable when the game threatens to buckle under it’s own weight, but it’s still a problem worth talking about. My understanding is that the Switch version is also affected by many of these technical issues, but with less severity. But, even on the Wii U, I found them to be momentary annoyances and not anything to really cast the game in a negative light. For 75% of my time in Hyrule, the game performed just fine (and it’s worth mentioning that during the process of writing this review, Nintendo published a patch for Zelda that optimizes the game just a little bit more to reduce framerate drops).

The other elephant in the room deals the game’s systems, particularly in weapon durability and weather. If you use a given weapon too much, it will eventually shatter. Often, I’d leave a combat encounter with fewer or worse weapons than when I started, but once I learned not to get too attached to any given sword, shield or bow, it ceased to be an issue. Breath of the Wild is a game about making do with what you’ve got and building an ever-changing strategy around that. Enemies also scale in strength over time, providing you with a drip feed of slightly more powerful gear as you play. That being said, the game definitely could have benefited from ways to repair fragile weapons, because just about everything breaks after only a few minutes of use.

Weather, on the other hand, was probably the single biggest point of frustration for me in Breath of the Wild. You’re given an on-screen weather forecast, presumably so you can plan accordingly should something like rain come up, but sometimes it can be unpredictable as you move through the world and suddenly shift into a new biome with different weather patterns. In one particularly ridiculous scenario, I found myself stranded on a rocky alcove because if I climbed up even ten feet it would trigger a biome change and begin raining, making it too slick to continue upwards. The moment I’d drop off the cliff (or more likely slip off), the rain would suddenly vanish. Sometimes, it doesn’t make any logical sense at all, such as the time I had to light fires as part of a quest and it began raining just long enough (about six seconds) to snuff out my flames and make me start over. Nothing in the forecast called for rain, nothing on my HUD changed, it just started pouring rain and then instantly stopped. You very quickly learn to dread rainstorms, because there’s not a lot you can do about them except wait for the weather to clear.

Regardless, these problems barely register as a blip on the game’s radar. I know it can be easy to sometimes get frustrated with Nintendo’s output and design philosophies, specifically with regards to past Zelda games like Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword, but when this company pulls together and fires on all cylinders, the end result is something truly incredible to behold. Breath of the Wild is a tremendous game; even after finishing the game and putting in more than 140 hours, I wasn’t ready to leave Hyrule. I was still finding new discoveries. New places I hadn’t been to yet. No game that I can ever remember playing in the 30+ years since the NES has gotten its hooks into me this deep for this long. It may not be a revolution, but with Breath of the Wild, Nintendo has still run circles around the industry just the same. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to miss this game.

#writing #review #the legend of zelda #breath of the wild #wii u #nintendo

2 notes · View notes

allenmendezsr · 4 years

Text

How To Play Golf | Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/how-to-play-golf-complete-golf-lessons-for-beginners/

How To Play Golf | Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners

Buy Now

If you’ve been looking for a solution to meeting friends, clients and business partners on the golf course, this course will get your started with becoming the best golf player that you can be. Learn the Best Tips & Techniques for How to Play Golf. Amazing Golf Course for Beginner to Intermediate.

presents…

The Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners

vimeo

How To Play Golf | Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners

Date:

From the desk of Ryan Jones (GolferDays Gold Member):

If you’re anything like I was, then your friends and colleagues leaving you behind on the golf course is frustating, but also causing concern that you are missing out on important business associations and deals too…

…plus the damage caused from the loss of clients just because you can’t golf!

Then there the missed opportunity for making new friends and gaining new customers.

I used to be upset about not getting the business deals required until I met Golf Instructor Kevin and signed up for his fantastic golf lessons for beginners course. In a matter of days, I was ready to hit the golf course bringing my top notch game.

I was making friends on the golf course with proper etiquette, an impressive swing, and always staying competitive in the game even when with playing against very experienced golfers. Most importantly, my business meetings took off on the golf course and I started making deals with my business associates that just couldn’t be done anywhere else!

…Before taking these great golf lessons for beginners, it was pretty embarrassing too, when your business clients want to go golfing, and you have to find an excuse that you don’t know how – isn’t it?

After speaking to friends also visiting a few forums online, it was clear to see that business people not knowing how to golf is pretty common.

Some of the stories I read made me feel lucky, such as one guy whose wife left him because he couldn’t close a real estate deal with a golfer.

Apparently, this was all about the lack of knowledge and and just spending some time learning the basics of golf with a quality golf course…which is what a lot of more modern golfing programs now try to teach, although quality that you find in Golf Instructor Kevin’s program is rare.

Anyway being desperate for a solution, I did my research and looked for a way to calmly learn the basics in a fun and entertaining way. I wasn’t sure what to expect from golf lessons and also wondering will golf lessons improve my game ?

The problem, as I soon found out, was that golf trainers cost a fortune. I’m a busy guy, so finding time to schedule the training sessions (even on weekends) was not always possible.

I also read a lot about types of training equipment that I could use at home, such as golf clubs and putters. Let me tell you, my wife yelled at me for trying to learn golf at home…I can’t imagine how painful it can be for novice golfers trying to learn the game fast.

During my research, I kept coming across an online course called “How To Play Golf | Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners” instructed by Golf Instructor Kevin.

It looked promising to me, as it had all the things I was looking for, such as:

• Well established, • Entertaining, • Educational, • Taught by expert instructor, • Immediate access, • Focuses on golfing relationships (alpha pack) that other courses/ instructors overlook

Therefore, I decided to go ahead and try it out. Some weeks later, and here’s my own review of what this course is all about, as I am sure other people are in that frustrating situation of trying to get started golfing…

I’m going to go over my opinion of whether the course actually works, who I think it’s right for, and of course, whether it’s worth the money.

vimeo

What To Expect From Golf Lessons For Beginners?

“How To Play Golf | Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners” – is a treasure chest full of secrets to transforming your golf game in a fun and easy way that anyone can do. With “Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners” you’re going to save time, money, and aggravation with learning how to play golf.

You’ll learn to avoid the mistakes and disastrous situations that you’ve been vulnerable to. With “Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners” you will be able to get the most out of your training time and build those important business relationships on the golf course!

The real secret behind Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners is that they employ the increasingly popular method of setting up your swing with the correct positioning, (along with eliminating numerous bad behaviours at the same time).

Essentially, it’s golf training in the fast lane…let’s see if it actually works though, shall we?

First Impressions

As soon as I got my hands on the Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners Course, I immediately realised that there is a lot of information and advice that they’ve crammed in here. It also appears very well laid out and professional looking too.

On first arrival, I was excited to click the play button and then just couldn’t turn it off. I began to notice that they progress through the stages of golf training for beginners in a pretty logical manner (from buying the right golf clubs, through to setting up your swing, making winning putts, through to the hands on training sections).

This is great for me, as I like to follow a path of progress, rather than pick and scrape information all the time.

However, I would say that the course is perhaps a little overwhelming at first (I kept thinking – am I going to have time to do all this, and will I understand it all?)

Then it occurred to me, I can watch this again and again, and go straight from beginner to intermediate. The more times I view this course, the better my golf game seems to get.

What’s This Course All About?

This beginners golf course will get you started playing golf impressively, right from your first tee off. Learn all about the important rules of golf, and how best to approach the golf course when beginning. This isn’t just a fun and enjoyable sport: in business, golf is a fantastic method to meet and speak with customers and collaborators. You may be missing out on a great number of associations, if you don’t feel sufficiently good to go out on the golf course. These Complete Golf Lessons For Beginners will help you solve this problem. You’ll learn all that you need to know to start enjoying the game. The journey that you begin here with these golf lessons for beginners can be enjoyed for a lifetime. This is because golf is favorite of everyone from students to business people, amateurs to professional golfer, and also a favorite recreational activity during retirement.

What Will I Learn?

In this course, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to play golf including how to swing a golf club, hitting the golf ball, how to putt effectively, what type of golf equipment you need, plus much more. This course is just packed with fun and exciting content on golf. Almost 2 hours of step-by-step lessons on everything you need to get started on the golf course. Golf Instructor Kevin also analyzes how conditions of the golf course can affect your game. And he describes some benefits of becoming a member of your local golf country club. Overall, these are golf lessons for beginners that you just don’t want to miss out on. Travel around the golf courses with your friendly instructor in these awesome golf lessons for beginners, and you’ll soon learn all the best tips and techniques for how to play golf. The instruction provided during the golf lessons are presented in a fun and easy way that makes learning enjoyable for all students. This is the complete golf course for beginner to Intermediate. Get started today becoming the best golf player that you can be.

Yeah, But Does It Work?

As I started viewing the onine video guide, I found that the first few sections are pretty straight forward stuff that seems more aimed at new golfers, but a few useful tips to do with choosing the right golf clubs for your needs/lifestyle.

Secondly, there is plenty of extensive start up advice for choosing the right clubs and what to look for when choosing golf sets (some info is pretty useful, and there’s also a lot of great tips that I didn’t know (they also cover all the different types of golf club types so you know what to look for specifically)

Also, as I got deeper into the later parts of the online course, I noticed that there were some great tips on preparing to bring your game to the next level for a new golfer, but again, mostly useful if you’re at that stage of moving up from intermediate to almost expert.

What I loved about this online course and what clearly took effect immediately after applying, were the sections on “Adding Finesse To Your Game”. This section seemed to be the most powerful in creating a bond, trust and respect between you and your golf friends, clients and business partners on the golf course.

The training material is generally spot on, although a little brief in parts, but they do a great job overall of explaining the psychology behind golf, as well as giving step by step exercises to use to take control of the problems (from setting up your swing to hitting the golf ball effectively, it’s all here).

Finally, it’s easy to see that the training and care of your golf game can be accomplished with this course, providing you put in the time and effort…

Why do I think this? Well, because the techniques and approaches covered in the online video guide are modern, effective and just seem to make sense when you try them on the golf course.

What Are The Details?

Who Is It Right For?

After using this online video course for a while now, I can confidently say that this is ideal for beginners to intermediate golfers, or people looking to get started with golfing.

Also, anyone with serious golfing issues that need urgent attention would find this online video course extremely helpful in resolving the immediate problems and building stronger relationships on the golf course with proper etiquette and finesse. This will undoubtedly help you in business and in life.

I would also say this is even better suited for people looking for an all in one online guide to getting started with golfing, as the course seems to cover all these aspects in more than enough detail.

However with all this being said, you will still need to be committed to learning and be able to put some time aside to apply what you’ll learn (and a little patience too, as some of the techniques take up to 3 weeks to complete!) Now you know what to expect from Golf Lessons For Beginners. By the end of this course, you’ll know how to golf and impress your business partners on the golf course too! Make it a great Golf Day!

0 notes