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fwoopersongs · 2 years

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离思·其四 - Thoughts on Parting (Part 4)

by 元稹 (Yuan Zhen, 779 - 831)

曾经沧海难为水 céng jīng cānghǎi nàn wéi shuǐ Having felt the vastness of the East Sea, 'water' becomes praise difficult to give.

除却巫山不是云 chú què wūshān bù shì yún Besides those of Mount. Wu, there is no other that may be called ‘cloud’.

取次花丛懒回顾 qǔcì huācóng lǎn huígù To go for second best in some flower field? Can’t be bothered to even look back —

半缘修道半缘君 bàn yuán xiū dào bàn yuán jūn half because of Daoist self-cultivation, half because of you.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Notes

The grandeur in the metaphor and exaggeration of this work is verrrrrry eye catching. As the fourth poem in a series of five, it is so much more well known than the rest that people unfamiliar with Chinese poetry (like me xD) might not even know the others exist! Might not even know that they were (allegedly) written in remembrance of the poet's late wife.

Her name was Wei Cong, and she was the daughter of Wei Xiaqing (a cool dude in his own right… maybe I shall write of him someday) who was of a very much higher rank and class than Yuan Zhen. She had been married to him for 6 years before her untimely death in 409. He wrote this set of poems in the same year.

A quick skim of the others below… though these are my opinions only, so you can take it as a reference with a pinch of salt!

The first in the series compared her cheek glowing in the morning sunlight to a red flower. She is observed in the mirror with makeup half off, one earring on, and he gazes at her silky hair, making an observation of the hairpins in it as he looks.

The second describes a lazy day in the mountain with water flowing downwards, meandering around steps, peach blossom trees enveloping and embellishing a little house. The poet is ‘reading’ his book on Daoism, but actually watching his wife comb her hair through the crystal curtain. The use of the babbling stream and peach blossom trees (though they may be real) lends this image an idyllic tint, what with the associations of peach blossoms with utopias. xD My poet dude says he is lazily reading the book on Daoism - not the political theory, but the one towards transcendence I suppose! Why is he reading it lazily? Because he’s gazing dreamily at his wife.

The third is a lecture from someone (his wife, probably!) about the good qualities of different types of fabric: The special weave of red gauze (luo) always heads the waves of popularity, muslin with embroidered birbs is a soft yellow colour; don’t complain straightaway that the material is fragile, a little loose-weave silk is very becoming!

The fifth is a reminiscence of some spring day when there were many ordinary flowers blooming, and among them all, he just had to pluck the (white) pear blossoms, for a fair person (like her). But today, it is spring again and those same trees at the head of the river have no flowers, they are left with only leaves - and he with the trees, like the trees, no longer has his white flower. They have to live with that for the remainder of this season (this life).

So then you see why I say the fourth one stands out. While the others are more subtle with their metaphors, this one goes big!

In the first line, 沧海 (vast/deep blue sea) is often associated with the East Sea, so I took the liberty of assuming this is a specific location reference to match the next line. ‘After experiencing the vastness of the sea, how can I possibly describe the rivers, lakes and streams with the same word - water?’ This is about the depth of emotion and feelings they shared.

In the second line, he likens her to the clouds of 巫山 (Mount Wu), which look like this.

Other clouds, beautiful as they may be, aren’t clouds to me because I have already set my eyes upon you.

In the third line, there is a number of meanings that could make sense with 取次 - casually, hurriedly, in a given order/in series and second-rate. I think it makes sense to say, ‘even if I casually (randomly) wander into a field of flowers, I would not bother looking back’. But given the snootiness in the previous two sentences, I also thought it cute to call other flowers second-rate (especially considering how he says 寻常百种 // ordinary flowers of many kinds in the fifth poem). The flower field I suppose would be ‘all other women’. Ironic, given that he later did take a concubine.

In the last line, he attributes his previous reaction half to Daoism, that he has taken up to cultivate himself, which advocates detachment from worldly desires and maintaining a clear heart. The other half is because she is still on his mind, ever present and natural as he breathes.

I do wonder if he wrote those poems in this particular order or did someone who was compiling his works do that ‘helpfully’ for future readers. I’d like to think it was in order. If you notice, they start off with memories of ordinary home life and get increasingly intense, which is understandable given his loss and how long reflection and writing tends to draw out emotions.

An interesting thing: it may be possible to pick out little pieces of the lady in his eyes and piece them together. But I leave that to you, dear reader… there’s a reason I was never able to escape the curse of the 14/25 grade for sec school literature essays xD

Some commentary on other things

Many things happened in 809, it seems. Yuan Zhen also met the insanely talented lady Xue Tao who was one of the most famous Tang Dynasty women poets. They hung out together for some time, and she was so taken with him, and had such a good time that she wrote him this poem.

离思·其四 in cmedia

How famous really, is this poem?

Well, I’m not sure. But I have encountered a reference to it in the form of the line 曾经沧海难为水除却巫山不是云, at least once in just about any drama or novel that I’ve enjoyed. Most notably:

《甄嬛传》 Legend of Zhenhuan Modified: 除却巫山非云也, in Episode 45 @ 28:45 The Emperor was writing a letter to his long dead wife about how much he misses her, and that though he has found a person who bears some resemblance to her... ‘Clouds are not the same once you’ve passed Mount Wushan’. And in a fit of anger during an argument with this favoured concubine of his - she is trying to persuade him reconsider and investigate accusations against her father - swept it off his table and practically into her hands.

《琅琊榜》Langya List, pre-revision online novel 曾经沧海难为水, in Chapter 1 This is the answer from Langya Hall, the organization which deals in information and makes a great deal of money putting a price on the answers to questions and selling them to willing questioners, for why 29 year old Yun Piaoliao (Undisputed No. 1 on the Langya List of Beauties) has refused all offers of marriage from nobility, old scholarly families, jianghu leaders etc. etc.

《天官赐福》Tianguan Ci Fu, novel @liberty-or-death explains in her post Hua Cheng’s Poem (Part 1) - “The Song of Mourning: Fourth Segment”

《那年花开月正圆》 Nothing Gold Can Stay 曾经沧海难为水, a suggestion for renaming a dish. Very well explained by AvenueX on youtube. Timestamp @ 6:27

youtube

#离思·其四 #元稹 #poetry #poems #what was my tag for this #oof #this took longer than i thought it would #sole november post i guess!#commentary

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luna-lovegreat · 7 months

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Wait...

It's November. It's November first. Yesterday was October 31st, so October is over. ...it's over. Is it over?

Inktober, artober, whumptober, flufftober, linktober, every tag ending with -tober that's been circulating for the past month... is it over? I don't know why it's just hit me but...

This matters. So I will try to get the message across, even though I'm not the best at it sometimes

Fanartists, fan writers, artists, fic writers, people making comics, every single one of you that has created art for the past month...

Thank you

This is my first October on tumblr. When I started seeing the "tober" tags, seeing the posts from artists with wips, saying they were going to make something every day to a prompt, making masterposts to update with each day, I thought "cool"

But every day this month, I have gotten on here and smiled.

And I don't mean smiled. I mean I smiled at least 20 times every time I got on the app because I saw all the art and fics. I got to see artists/writers connect stories through different day prompts. I saw people having the most brilliant ideas and creativity, flowing from their hands into their posts. I saw artists responding to continuous asks, telling them how amazing they are. I saw artists getting behind, and keeping going.

I saw Free. Beautiful. Emotional. Amazing. Original. Creative. Art.

Every day

I haven't committed to anything of this before, so I can't directly relate to what you guys were thinking and feeling. But I'm willing to guess; I think you probably enjoyed it, because most won't do such a huge project unless they enjoy it. I think you probably saw it as a challenge you were willing to fulfill, and an opportunity to grow and develop your skills.

... but I'm also willing to bet you did it for us. For people like me, who love art, but don't do this specific type, who are in fandoms, who love tracking and watching you art and sending you compliments, who take joy in your work. For the other artists (and writers!) who admire each others styles and love to learn from each other.

If anyone ever tries to tell me that humans are inherently evil again, I will strap them to a chair, pull up these posts and say look. Look at what these people did. Look me in the eyes and tell me these sorts of actions don't come from the most loving hearts. Tell me these people don't want to make others happy, that they aren't inherently good. And I will tell you you're wrong.

I have so much going on, yet somehow it slipped into my life that I was constantly looking at your art for the joy of it without me even noticing.

And how is it possible. That we have such a beautiful community of people here that we will share. And communicate. And exchange compliments. And literally do things and send asks solely for the purpose of making someone smile.

I'm almost crying by now. God I can't express it well enough! But I am so. So. Grateful

You guys brought me a month of joy! You gave headcanons, and art, and stories!

Even yesterday, Halloween, I was blown away. Because I had expected... I didn't expect anything. And then I log on and see people sending happy halloween asks, exchanging doodles of candy, and headcanons and gifs.

And some are still catching up to the schedule or whatever, and that's ok! But at the beginning of this post, when I was simply realizing it was November, I asked myself "is it over?"

Is it over?

... I don't think so. I've seen artists say they're going to continue and expand on a piece they made and especially liked this month. Some people are still continuing, catching up to a voluntary deadline. All those masterposts with your whump/fluff/link/ink tober art? I know many as well as myself will be going through, looking over your posts with smiles, catching up on some things they missed this month... it will continue in the people and artists I didn't know existed before, but now follow. In the skills and growth in creativity! In the community we've grown, and art you've made, and the art to come, at a normal rate like every other month, even if it's not October anymore!

But my artists, writers... thank you so much. I don't know if you guys know how valuable and amazing you are. How incredible it is that you exist! People say it's amazing we exist under a sky of such stars, but how incredible is it that you made a stranger on the internet smile every day! Your life is so. So. Valuable. I can't even express how grateful I am that you exist, that you somehow are selfless enough to share the most beautiful parts of yourself simply to create, and to create joy. Thank you so so much.

(And this applies to all artists, in any fandoms, not just mine. And I'm just as grateful to people who couldn't do something every day, or only one day! You still share your art, you're just as... incredible. You are incredible.)

Okay.

So I'm gonna do this, and if others want to do it in the reblogs that's great! I do not care at all about reblogging or likes, but I want to make the people that have brought me such joy some appreciation- I hope I can bring you even a smidgen of the light you have brought into my life. So I'm gonna tag all the artists/writers I know of/can think of that have done any sort of October challenge, all of you creators that have made me smile. If people wanna want to tag others in the reblogs or replies to spread love that's cool.

(Basically I don't know social customs or anything at all, so if you don't want me to tag or if I was supposed to do something different or something let me know I have no idea what I'm supposed to do)(if I like accidentally tagged someone who isn't an artist/writer or forgot someone I follow... sorry)

@skyward-floored @kikker-oma @adrift-in-thyme @blueskittlesart @zeldaseyebrows @smilesrobotlover @bahbahhh @soso-dedeck @lennsart @arecaceae175 @illcamp @breannasfluff @solarfire-art @26kabeuchi @cathianemelian @truffeart @scribbly-z-raid @uniquevoidflowers

To all the artists and writers out there: thank you so much!!! You are amazing and I'm glad you exist. Your life is precious, and you matter. Thank you so much for sharing your beauty with us, we love you too!!!!!

... yeah. Just want yall to feel loved... because you are. Again, thank you. Thank you so so much to my beautiful creators who create joy as well as art, who keep storytelling alive. Just... thank you.

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helicxx · 7 months

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wrightworth !!

since it's a fine november noon, i've decided to bless you all with my paragraph on why wrightworth is canon ! wrightworth is literally canon. THERE WAS 15+ YEARS OF PINING PLUS PHOENIX WENT TO LAW SCHOOL FOR EDGEWORTH. “oh, my ex college girlfriend framed me for murder?? i’ll let that slide. OH MY GOD MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN SINCE KINDERGARTEN IS A LAWYER??? I’M SWITCHING MAJORS.” their dynamic fits every single possible ao3 tag. enemies to lovers? childhood friends? red and blue? pining? angst? they got you covered. PLUS THE UNNECESSARY FEELINGS LINE PLUS THE ONE-SIDED HATE LINE. oh and did i mention the matching wedding ring AND the anniversary wine AND the matching perfumes??????? i mentioned rivalries, right??? WE CAN’T FORGET ABOUT THE “love creates rivalries” LINE SAID BY….. you guessed it….. PHOENIX. PHOENIX BECAME A LAWYER FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF SEEING EDGEWORTH AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE ONLY KNEW HIM FOR A FEW MONTHS IN FUCKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. BOTH OF THEM GRIEVING SO HARD WHEN THEY THINK THE OTHER IS DEAD THAT NEITHER CAN HANDLE HEARING EACH OTHER’S NAMES. MILES FLEW HALFWAY ACROSS THE EARTH THE MOMENT HE FOUND OUT PHOENIX GOT HURT. cmon man. WRIGHTWORTH IS CANON THEY’RE LITERALLY SO GAY IN COURT LIKE YOUR HONOR!!!! I THINK THEY’RE HOMO!!!! the article written in issue #72 of an official uk nintendo magazine was about the best fictional couples, and wrightworth was on that list. the writers of ace attorney say that edgeworth isn't interested in women, and it’s confirmed that both edgeworth and phoenix find each other attractive. THE OFFICIAL ACE ATTORNEY FACEBOOK PAGE POSTED WRIGHTWORTH ART ON VALENTINES DAY!! i could go on and on about this but you probably hate me enough by now. in conclusion, WRIGHTWORTH IS CANON!!!!! :3

#wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #teehee #rants go wild fr...#apologies in advance to my irls and mooties who had to see this beforehand

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mashithamel · 5 months

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I found that someone had transcribed the Old Tongue lyrics for “Nynaeve al’Meara,” but I haven’t found a translation yet. So I took a stab at it!

I’ll post the Old Tongue lyrics, then my attempt at a translation. Words or lines in bold are ones I had to guess at using context. It’s not an exact one-to-one translation, but more of what I think it’s trying to say.

Afterward, I will list out the words and their meanings. (?) means I couldn’t find that exact word, and where possible I breakdown how I determined a likely meaning. Bold words are ones I could not find a meaning for.

With the definitions I will link to my translation sources and at the top the original site with the transcription. Enjoy!

**************

Totah Manetheren der

Waji weladthi tar valon

Ninte ghoba dvo ahendrelle

Dvodrelle duadh ninte khadye

Devore rieht

Riehtne mazers sa’trewele

Aleikya saidar

Mat’saidar daghain’cov

Seren’shai

Pochivat

Ninte saidendrelle

Tsunga ellis sheikar

Ashandore balfrait

Grean al dival

Shukan vaanok

Ni’walden merwon

Kerenya keewal

Ashandore Jaendar

Ashandore ma’zaffid

Ma’tumasenya ashandore

Ashama’sein der mirhage

********************

Far from your mountain home

Now you are in Tar Valon

Your soul is of the two rivers

The waters of the Two Rivers is in your bones

Strive for balance

You balance on one side your magnificent braid

You must own your own power

Your power will overcome your fear

Stubborn woman

Make

The strength of the river

Into a raging fire

Wisdom from the Women’s Circle

Channel from the Light

Seek to protect them

Your fears are boiling

You must let them boil out

Wisdom of women

Wisdom you are enough

Your protection, Wisdom

Will guard them from harm

*********************

Definitions

totah: far

Manetheren: mountain home

der: from

waji: now

weladthi: life

ninte: your

ghoba: soul

dvo: two

ahendrelle: river/waters

Dvodrelle: Two Rivers

duadh: water

khadye: related to bone

devorye: ask yourself (?)

- devor: ask

- ye: I

rieht: balance

riehtne: balancer (?)

- rieht: balance

- ne: suffix -er

mazera

sa’: superlative

trewele: braid

aleikya: one’s own (?)

- al: of the

- lei: man

- ya: my own

saidar: power (feminine)

- sai: power

- dar: female

mat: control

daghain: fear

cov: owner

seren: stubborn

shai: woman

pochivat: start

saidendrelle: power of the river

tsunga: into (solely based on context)

ellis sheikar: raging sun (literally “bright sun”)

ashandore: Wisdom (literally “mountain guard”)

balfrait: Women’s Circle (?)

- bal: circle

- frait: strong

grean: channel

al’: to the

dival: light

shukan: healthy, pl (?)

- shuk: health

- an: pleural

vaanok: delve (?)

- vaa: maybe sense?

- nok: maybe act?

ni: for

walden

merwon: boiling

kerenya: cook for yourself (?)

- ren: related to cooking

- ya: my own

keewal: out/finish (?)

- keesh: out

Jaendar: belonging to women (?)

- ja: of

- en: pleural

- dar: feminine

ma’zaffi: completely whole (?)

- ma: stresses importance

- zaffi: complete

- d: belonging to

ma’tumasenya: protection (?)

- ma: stresses importance

- tumasen: safe

- ya: my own

ashama: guard

sein: them

mirhage: harm

#wheel of time #nynaeve al'meara #wot on prime #lyrics #translation #from old tongue to english #this took so long

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mariejordans · 4 months

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i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

#gen v #heronamedhawks #update this user is actually a racist transphobic piece of shit so please block them and do not give them any more of your attention

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lostmykiliel · 1 month

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Thank you for putting that humongous insta dump into context 😅

If you don’t mind, could you elaborate on that whole shared suite thing you alluded to? 👀 no pressure though xx

Hey nonnie,

You're welcome. Glad you liked it! ☺️

Honestly I contemplated if and how I should post about it for a long while now, but I guess I teased a little too much with my last post so it's probably only fair to give context.

Disclaimer: This is solely based on my interpretation of what they posted. It's not like I was there or have any kind of insights. Furthermore I give you the material without lengthy explanations, please compare it for yourself and form your own opinion.

Intro: MileApo (& Tong & Bas & team) did a Hong Kong Trip in November 2023. They went there for a Dior Event, The Magical Man Suang Tour and Disneyland (where parts of the 'Without you' MV were filmed). While they were there, they stayed at the Rosewood Hong Kong hotel.

So why do I believe Mile & Apo most likely stayed in the same suite?

The suite in question is called Harbour Corner Suite and looks like this:

This is a full room tour with all the corners and details:

youtube

Match the view, furniture and details to this:

The Dior promo clips:

[Mile full clip] [Apo full clip]

Ok so honestly both using the same suite for filming promo isn't uncommon, right? However both of them posted from it various times afterwards, in private moments as well.

Bedroom view:

Mile: Apo:

Living room view:

Mile: Apo:

Bathroom/Bedroom Mile:

Bathroom Apo:

Living room Apo*:

*Apo deleted this one shortly after posting.

Little side note at the end: Please feel free to compare it to other suites as well.

So have fun comparing. Hope this helps! 🫶

#mileapo #hong kong trip #shared suite mystery #answering asks

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cadybear420 · 3 months

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Cadybear's Reviews- A Courtesan of Rome

Welcome to the fifteenth official Cadybear's Reviews post! Ironic that this is the fifteenth. Unfortunately this is about 10 days late for Ides of March this year. Today I'll be talking about A Courtesan of Rome, which I have ranked on the "Platinum Tier" at 9 stars out of a possible 10. My last playthrough of this story was around November-December 2021.

I’m rather fond of this one.

This is one of the few MCs where it makes sense for them to have a lot of pre-set aspects about them, and for the record they did do a fantastic job establishing it via the flashbacks. And even then, they also manage to give us enough player agency by allowing us to choose her motives, methods, and goals. So it’s a very neat and fair balance between pre-set and flexible.

This is also one of the few pointfully genderlocked books– while male courtesans did indeed exist in Ancient Rome, they’d likely have had vastly different experiences to that of female courtesans. Chances are, the male MC version would have so many dialogue changes that it’d basically be an entirely new book. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely love to see a male MC version of this story, but I can understand why PB would genderlock it.

Admittedly the story can drag at times, and the “8 years ago in Gaul” flashbacks can be a bit of a trudge (granted they do set up the story well), but it is worth it. My only real problem is that according to some fans who are history experts, this story does stray a lot from historical accuracy. But I guess not every periodical story is gonna be perfectly historically accurate.

That, and also the way they handled Xanthe is just… not good. Other people have explained it better, but basically, in a general sense, Xanthe isn’t much different from MC. Both are courtesans as per being victims of human trafficking, both are forced to rely on seduction to survive and overpower men– but the story villainizes Xanthe, while MC is pushed as heroic and morally grey/complex for the exact same shit. All because… Xanthe is kind of catty towards MC?

I didn’t think much of it in either of my two playthroughs, but I’ve seen other people bring it up and looking back… it’s too major to ignore. It’s hypocritical at best, and has some very troubling (racist) implications at worst. Especially in a book that’s meant to be an empowering periodical womanhood story. So it did end up bringing the book down a tier.

We rightfully bitch about the cheap “straw loser villain woman who exists solely to have exaggeratedly bad behaviors solely to make the MC seem better” and “pitting women against each other just because they want/do the same thing” tropes all the time in Choices stories like TNA, FCL, and TBB; and while I do still rank those books much lower due to having more objective problems overall, the trope is much more unforgivable in this book given the context.

However, while the story does have some pretty major problems, it does also have a lot of good aspects going for it that did make me mostly enjoy it. But who knows, my opinion might change after a replay.

I will also say, it’s really fun to diamond mine this one for OG HSS Book 2. Getting to stab Caesar and then taking down Principal Isa right after. So I do have a bit of a soft spot for the book in that regard.

#choices stories you play #choices #choices game #choices stories we play fandom #choices stories we play #acor #choices acor #a courtesan of rome #choices a courtesan of rome

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theamazingdigitalcircusaskblog · 2 months

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Hey. So I realized I never posted FUCKING ANYTHING. On this blog. Because I forgot about it....and like...never made drawings for it and stuff....I did that like once. This is the fucking consequences of roleplaying. This is why we don't need to own 6 freaking blogs. Anyway, I think I'm finally going to start answering questions and such. Cause these posts ARE OLD. From like NOVEMBER OLD. The sole reason I think I never posted was because A. I was actively roleplaying at the time with my own character and I just I guess...wanted to focus on that? And B. I think I was really insecure of my art at the time (which I still kinda am) But I'm at a better place of drawing that I can like....start making drawings and such for this blog. Although they WILL be traditional since that's what I prefer (digital is confusing and scary) Yes, I still have trouble with drawing Gangle and I actually have trouble drawing Jax as well....so I'll do my best to draw them and stuff. But over all this post is an apology for never ever posting on here and like baiting a bunch of people to send asks and follow. So so so so sorry. Um, anyway. Gonna answer questions soon.

(p.s. These fucker that I created was the reason you never got your digital circus ask blog. Destroy him /j @askadhdanon)

#the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc pomni #tadc #amazing digital circus #sorry

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choiliner · 5 months

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calli's every month of 2023 🌙

i was tagged by @facethesuns — thank you for tagging me em!!! i'm rlly flattered to have you as a mutual and i love seeing you on my dash hehe 💜

rules: link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year (totally fine to skip months) and tag some CCs you love!

p.s.: i started this blog in april!

tbh all of the most popular ones are also my faves so i'm just gonna mention a second favorite under them ok let's go

APRIL:

most popular: choi line being a mess (still need to make a part 2 for that 😭)

my favorite: grape taehyun <3

MAY:

most popular: gbgb beomgyu (as he SHOULD)

my favorite: yeonbin on vlive bc they're cute (i should actually work on that series one day lmaoo)

JUNE:

most popular: mubank festival soobin

my favorite: choi line x growing pain bc even though it's not THEEE best thing in the world i'm proud of the way it turned out considering it was my first time ever playing around with blending and typography stuff <3

tagging: @yeonbins @seungkwan-s @tmpttion @soobrownie @seokmingming @heeseunq @seonghwasblr @bandzboy @ninqz @emoremix @hueningkai @allrelativefiction @jeonwonwoo and whoever else might wanna do this <3 (no pressure though!!! and feel free to do it on a different blog if you want, since most of you have more than one! 💜 i just didn't wanna mention every single url of yours bc i didn't wanna be annoying lmao)

#this was fun 🥰#i wasn't the most active cc around here but i actually made more posts than i thought i had lmao #tag games 💌

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stevenbasic · 2 years

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Growing into the Job, Post 285: A Date at the Movies, p1

“This way, theater eight,” Josie urged, a hand on my left shoulder, pushing me towards the right. Though early on a Saturday evening, the lobby to the local cinema was pretty busy. It was nice to be out, but crowds kind of made me anxious these days. Maybe it was the - eight? ten? - inches I’d lost, that I felt smaller than everyone, or maybe it was something else. Whatever; I was suddenly just feeling strangely glad the two girls were with me.

“We don’t want to miss the previews,” Lakshmi giggled, both her arms encircling my right one, “I love the previews.”

“And Missy is so excited to see you…” Josie added, “like, really excited.”

That made my blood tingle. “Are we going to get some snacks?” I offered, “My treat?” As weird as this was - me, a forty-something year-old physician, flanked by two young beauties and being drawn towards his date with possibly the most luscious woman on earth amongst a bevy of them, all of whom were my employees - I was once again trying to keep a stolid, intrepid face. Stay relaxed, tonight, man, I’d been telling myself all day, have some fun.

“Aww that’s sweet,” Josie replied to my offer, “But the other girls said they bought snacks.

Uncomfortable, I had felt like I was tagging along, kind of intruding on girls’ night. They all insisted that wasn’t the case, seemingly excited I was joining them for a movie, but still I felt out of place. The promise, though, of being with Melissa - even if we were surrounded by her gaggle of girlfriends - was just too great. I felt awkward, yes, but my heart was racing just picturing what Melissa might be wearing, or recalling the scent of her perfume.

I shivered. The AC must be on really high, I figured, it’s pretty chilly in here. The news had said it was 65 degrees, a warm night for early-November, for sure, but I was kicking myself for not wearing a jacket. I’d been cool on the car ride over, Josie and Lakshmi having picked me up, but it was even chillier here in the theater. The girls had also bought my ticket for me online after they heard I’d be coming along. I haha didn’t even know what movie we’d be seeing, and the girls were doing their best to keep it a surprise. They covered my eyes at opportune moments as we made our way through the lobby to our theater, my ears at others. They wanted to make sure I didn’t get clued-in by the marquees or an errant ticket-clicker. They giggled, obviously excited, and I tried to ignore the feeling that most everyone in the crowds was taller than me.

They led me into the semi-dark theater, hushed as these places are while they’re still playing ads and whatnot, and immediately we looked for our seats (8F, 8G and 20C - the nice big cushy, reclinable type) and where the rest of our group would be. My seat, I guessed, was the one way in back. But, I was informed in half-whisper by Josie - “you’re not sitting there.”

“Yeah come with us-“ said Lakshmi. She looked really pretty tonight, in a simple tee and black leggings that hugged her ample lower curves. She had a white sweatshirt around her hips.

“B-but..?” I was confused. Where would I sit? The movie was pretty packed; I’d be sure to be taking someone else’s seat. Indeed when we found our crowd - there must have been nine of them, girls from the office, Katie and Shanette and a host of others seated in a big group, all now looking over to me and cooing their greetings - I was told of the situation. “That’s Melissa’s spot,” the platinum blonde Amelia told me, “just sit there. She’ll be back soon, just getting more popcorn.”

“But then where will she sit?” I asked, obtusely.

“Men are so cute when they’re out of their depth, aren’t they?” asked the red-headed Julia, tossing a junior mint a couple feet through the air into Randi’s weirdly wide mouth, in the seat in front of her. The pack of us were seated in three rows and now that Josie and Lakshmi had sat, dead in the middle lay one sole, empty spot.

I was starting to get the picture.

I stepped into the row, passing Shanette, and sat to wait for my date. Lakshmi was on my left, and she offered me some peanut M&M’s from a box that was being passed around. I declined, and shivered anew. “Awww are you cold?” she asked me, with honest tenderness in her voice and already unwrapping the sweatshirt she had tied around her waist, “Here take my hoodie…”

“Thank you,” I replied, just as the house lights went down. I pulled the thick, white, oversized sweatshirt up over my torso, like a blanket. It smelled nice. I was just again starting to wonder about Melissa’s whereabouts when-

“I’m back..!” I heard, looking up to my right and seeing- whoah…

============================================

Thanks to Migsanch for the original torso morph in the first image, and J2 for that in the last one

#growing into the job

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fourseasonsfigs · 11 months

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Cold Male God

Since we're on a roll with figures inspired by Gong Jun's November 2022 Cosmopolitan Magazine photo shoot, let's keep going!

You've already seen Little Farmer Jun, as inspired by this:

As well as Harvest Tomatoes, inspired by this:

So today's fig is inspired by this shot:

I love sitting figs! There's something about the already small size of figs being even smaller and cuter when they're sitting down. Before we get started, here's one more shot from the magazine of this look:

No idea what the print on the sweater he's wearing there is.

The name of the fig, 高冷男神, gāo lěng nán shén, cold elegant male god, is a phrase Gong Jun has used many times to refer to himself before. He has it on his Weibo (fresh screenshot as of today, you can tell by his last post at the Jay Chou concert!):

He's also called himself this in situations where he is definitely not at his most glamorous! He posted the phrase with a (now deleted) Instagram post of himself as a smoky and dirty Huo Yan in The Flaming Heart:

He also shouted "Call me a cold elegant male god," after his Happy Camp episode where he had to dress up as Nezha:

The fig maker wasn't nearly as tongue-in-cheek with this fig, and instead took a much more literal approach! I'd say that out of the entire photo shoot, this indeed is probably the most aloof and elegant looking out of them all.

My guess (which is always extremely dicey given my lack of cultural or linguistic knowledge) is that the phrase 高冷男神 isn't that uncommon to use to refer to very handsome men in high fashion. Zhehan's been referred to that way (in his Sensodyne ad), and a quick search shows that it's been used to refer to other good looking men before. May be just an archetype for a certain type of look.

As you can tell! Hahaha, figures this little guy would be completely swaddled up in plastic to protect him. He arrived flawlessly, as only us mere mortals could ever hope to do.

The first thing about this fig that I noticed is of course his magnificent tousled sweep of hair. I love it, it is outstanding. In my opinion, Gong Jun looks best with his hair off his face and with plenty of volume, and the figs do too.

I have no earthly idea what the little creature is in his eyes. It looks like a video game creature almost? I experimented cropping out just that part of his eye and ran a reverse image search, but came up with nothing. Smarter minds than mine, no doubt.

We have his silver Tiffany bracelets here, and his hand artfully curled up by his face.

This fig is resin, but is a lighter type. Some resin figs I have are like bricks, they are so heavy. This fig is surprisingly light - I forget sometimes and think it's PVC.

Wow, look at his hair. Amazing! It's very tousled. I like it a lot.

Despite the narrow body silhouette of this fig, the fig sits up just fine. I don't worry he's going to tip over backwards or forwards. If there was an earthquake or something, though, I'd be concerned that he'd fall over (and maybe break some of those glorious hair tendrils), so he'll go on a fig stand.

I actually didn't realize in the photo shoot pics that he was wearing a hoodie. I thought it was actually a black hat hanging behind him in the shot where he's sitting on crates. But no, apparently it's just the hood that's been artfully propped up behind his head.

I can't quite make out what the pattern of the sweater is on his arm, but the fig maker worked hard to replicate it!

You can see he's very gently propped up there on his boots. Very much in line with the inspiration pic, but also the reason he's going on a fig stand.

This fig is so small and cute! I really do think this is the most impressive and dramatic modern hair style I've seen yet on a Gong Jun fig.

The fig maker even replicated the red branding dots on the soles of his boots!

He's so squinched up from this angle! Looking very small and adorable.

His hair is still impressive from the top down with that big swoopy piece there.

In order to give you an idea of the relative size of this fig, here he his compared to his other incarnations in this series.

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 420

Scene Count: 29

Rating: Cold and elegant model, warm and happy puppy!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#gong jun #word of honor cast #junzhe #figthusiast

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frustrated-researcher-diary · 9 months

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#1 Introductions

Hello everyone,

It seems a little bit strange to write my thoughts and make them public, but here goes.

Ever since I started university back in 2012, I sort of knew that I wanted to stay in academia and become a researcher. The thought of studying and learning being the main tasks of my job made me feel very privileged. That, and also the possibility of being a teaching assistant and helping students out. All of this has led me to pursue a PhD. Boy, I did not know what I was going on in for. Doing PhD and a Master of Science are two completely different things - and I really underestimated the challenges that were ahead of me.

In the latter, you are basically walking on a threaded path, so to speak. You get assignments, study on textbooks you are given, pass exams that you need to take within specific deadlines, and the grades should give you enough of a validation of the good job done. Everything has been organized for the students, whose sole requirement is to ... """basically""" (I am using many quotes to stress the fact that I know it is not easy - been there, folks) follow the path laid out for them and study, I guess.

On the contrary, when you start a PhD, you are walking in uncharted territory. Of course, your supervisors make sure that you do not fail spectacularly, but at the end of the day you are the master of your fate. (Almost) Nobody gives you a schedule, a list of things to do, or a set of deadlines. You need to build them on your own and stick to them. You need to work on your research, devote some time in the middle to side activities (teaching, projects, contracts with industries), publish papers, and yadda yadda yadda.

Although it was pretty rough, I actually managed to finish my PhD in January 2022. Then, my supervisors (I also call them bosses from hereafter) asked me to my surprise if I ever considered pursuing a post-doc. My instantaneous reply was that I had to think about it.

And I really did. It took me some months to actually convince myself that research was "still" the path for me. I am using the quotes because, sure, during the PhD you learn a lot and build many useful skills, but you also grow to hate what you do from time to time. This can happen for different reasons. In my case, sometimes the research was too complicated, and I realised I was not as smart as I hoped I was. Oftentimes, imposter syndrome kicked in, and I believed that everybody but me had what it takes to deserve to stay in academia. In multiple occasions, I just wanted to know where Reviewer #2 (who heavily criticized the n-th paper that I submitted to a journal) lived, reach their house and hurt them with every fiber of my being. Other times, I just thought that I could have avoided the hassle of doing the PhD in the first place and started working right away in the industry to save enough money to get a house - or save myself at least multiple headaches and recurring episodes of me questioning my life choices.

I knew that becoming a post-doc implied accepting an unsteady job that might not lead to me becoming a professor. I also knew it meant having a lower wage than the one I would have gotten if worked in industry, which inevitably makes the purchase of a house much harder. I also knew it meant mostly anybody around me among my friends and family would have understood what I really do for a living. Nonetheless, I decided to go for it. Despite all, I felt that I was a somewhat decent teacher and that I could have improved in the research department in the future.

So, I applied for the post-doc call in November 2022, which I luckily ended up winning. And boy, even in this case, despite me thinking about it for months, I did not expect it was going to be so hard. Just as a Master of Science is different from a PhD, also being a post-doc is different from being a PhD candidate. During the Phd, my bosses made sure that research was going well, that it was scientifically sound and feasible. On the contrary, during this first year as a post-doc they have given me more freedom in this regard - perhaps because they expect me to become independent and learn that I will not always have them by my side. I think their "experiment" failed. Very much. Indeed, it is almost the end of my first year as a postdoc now, and I can not stop feeling unmotivated and disappointed. I am also afraid that my bosses, who put so much trust in me, feel the same.

I submitted two papers to different journals. One of them got rejected: reviewers said that the paper was not novel enough, which is ironic, considering that it required me one year to actually finish it. I think the other paper is doomed as well. Some might think that, after a Phd, I should be accostumed to paper rejection, but it sadly seems that I have not reached that level of maturity. Now I just think that whatever I do is pointless and will get rejected anyway, so why bother?

To make things worst, there is this constant reminder that in order to have good chances of becoming a professor I need to have as soon as possible a good H-index, get awards, do some side activities (that I could not be less interested in). There is a conundrum. On the one hand, you are privileged to do research, and people understand that research is a risk-related activity - meaning that its outcomes may not always be valuable. On the other hand, you are expected to give valuable research results to become an academic.

As you might understand from this excruciatingly long rant (sorry), I am not feeling very well (and you may also believe that I am overdramatic - which may be true). I am questioning my choice of pursuing a post-doc and my whole life as well (I said I am aware of being overdramatic). I am 30 now, and I hoped that by this age I had everything figured out, from my working life to my romantic one (which is a whole other story). Instead, I am none of the sort. I still live with my parents trying to save enough money to eventually get a house, still trying to find a partner, and still trying to figure out what I really want to do in the future. A true testament to this is the fact that I am writing this on a Saturday night, as if I had nothing better to do.

I wanted to talk with someone about my feelings over this last couple of weeks, but I could not find somebody who could relate that much. As I said before, friends and family do not exactly understand what I do. I could talk to my bosses at Uni, but I am afraid of their reaction. There are my colleagues, but I feel everybody has a lot on their plate, and I do not want them to give them another issue. In any case, I do not want to give up. I need to find by myself the spark that pushed me to go on with this job. Eventually, I will find again the motivation and excitement that convinced me (and also my bosses, apparently) that becoming a post-doc was not a bad idea after all.

I decided to write this post (or should I say rant?) for two main reasons. The first one is to use this as a reminder in the future of the things that I felt. Maybe this post could be followed by other ones on a regular basis as an entry for a diary to keep track of my progress, I don't know. The second one is to be hopefully of aid to whoever reads it. If you, too, are a frustrated researcher (be it a PhD or a post doc) you are not alone. It may sound cheesy, but I believe that there are not enough posts and websites dealing with this. Everybody in academia goes through similar struggles and if they say otherwise.. they are lying. Hardly nobody has everything figured out, even in their 30s.

Ps: English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistake. Doing my best here 😅

#university #postdoc #research scientist #rant post #phd life

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thewholedamnboulangerie · 2 years

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I posted 5,352 times in 2022

That's 2,714 more posts than 2021!

40 posts created (1%)

5,312 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@youneedtolightenup

@pranparakul

@everyforkedroad

@daltoneering

@rythyme

I tagged 5,268 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#kinnporsche - 1,368 posts

#not me - 417 posts

#bad buddy - 325 posts

#laugh rule - 235 posts

#jeff satur - 193 posts

#art - 189 posts

#fluffy things - 167 posts

#tgcf - 140 posts

#black sails - 134 posts

#the eclipse - 92 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#pretty sure i haven't changed my homescreen since 2016 (it's a pic i took of the trolls at vík against the most vivid sunset i've ever seen)

My Top Posts in 2022:

just had an absolutely fucking insane moment of understanding one of Jeff’s twitter puns SOLELY due to the fact that I accidentally absorbed the key Thai word involved into my vocabulary YESTERDAY. effervescent 💖

11 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

Guess who baked today for the first time in approx a decade probably!! And they even turned out well!!

13 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

Tawan’s perceptive, but he doesn’t need to be

In hindsight, one thing that sticks out to me about episode 9 is the way that Kinn and Porsche seem to be doing their best to keep their relationship hidden from Tawan as well as everyone else.

On the surface, this is obviously an excellent plan, given that he’s a manipulative bastard who won’t hesitate to take advantage of any cracks he can find in Kinn’s emotional armour - but it’s a lost cause right from the start. Not just because Tawan’s perceptive as hell and picks up on every glance they exchange, but because the first time we ever saw Tawan onscreen, he was spying on their date. He’s not just picking up on the clues, he’s known exactly what Kinn and Porsche mean to each other throughout every interaction he’s had with them, and given that he disappears several times between his first appearance onscreen in ep 8 and being brought to the main family’s mansion, anyone that he was reporting back to in between times is also 100% in the loop.

I just find it very interesting that the episode doesn’t draw any attention to that detail - almost as if it’s slipped Kinn and Porsche’s mind, since Kinn didn’t initially see Tawan and Porsche was convinced he was a ghost, and neither of them has quite connected the dots. And since the viewer is seeing things from their perspective, not Tawan’s, it’s easy for it to slip our mind as well.

19 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

natural talents

For Day 1 of KinnPorsche Week (prompt: ‘Can I try’ + love)

Kim had idolised both of his older brothers, growing up. He had never tried to hide it, precisely - but then again, he’d never been the most demonstrative soul, even as a child.

In his darker moments, he wonders if that hero-worship was where it had all gone wrong. If everything he ever loves is simply doomed to crumble into ashes at his touch.

He can even pinpoint the very moment that any chance of having a normal bond with Kinn - well, normal by the standards of the tooth and nail world they live in - was destroyed. The moment that he unwittingly crushed it to dust beneath his oblivious heel.

It was the day that he’d been sitting beside Kinn, idly kicking his feet, listening to his older brother stumble through some chord practice on the brand new guitar their father had just gifted him. And Kim, with all the enthusiasm and naiveté of a child who hadn’t yet learned that the world does not revolve around him, had asked, “Can I try, P’Kinn?”

It was all inevitable, after that. Music had been Kinn’s first love, after all - at first, Kim had thought that it was something they could bond over together, but he knew better now. The worst parts of him had always been too much like their father for something so trite as simply sharing a passion equally; no matter that in the softest parts of his underbelly he had always yearned for that connection, his claws were too sharp, too greedy. No matter that he’d tried to sever those darkest parts of himself, leave them rotting in the shadows of the family mansion and never return to claim them - in the end, he could never make the cut clean. In the end, he’d walked out the door having knowingly stolen a shard of Kinn’s heart, and the guilt had never once halted his path no matter how heavily it weighed him down.

Of course, in his lighter moments he can’t help wondering if his father somehow orchestrated it - their talents, their estrangement, all of it. Normally, that’s a terribly tempting line of thought to pursue. But for this? Any explanation that absolves him of blame is a leap of imagination too far.

(The thing is, neither Kim nor Kinn ever quite learned to test the limits of their imagination. They’ve always had to rely on someone else for that.)

Tankhun’s sudden and unannounced presence in his flat was making Kim feel deeply, viscerally unsettled. Not necessarily in a bad way - it was more to do with the fact that his monochrome interiors had never prepared themselves to welcome quite such a concentrated splash of colour into their midst, and the sight of his oldest brother flitting around, peering at every detail and meaningless trinket left out on display with single-minded attention, was one that Kim couldn’t foresee himself getting used to any time soon. After all, it still brought a surprised kick of wary joy to his tattered heart every time he caught wind of Tankhun voluntarily leaving the house on another pilgrimage to the strangest corners of Bangkok imaginable; he also inevitably felt a twinge of resentment every time someone from his old life (his current life, there was no escaping his family’s life no matter how hard or how many times he tried) intruded on his personal sanctum.

Reconciling the two conflicting emotions was proving nigh impossible, so he flopped down into the chair nearest the windows, picked up the guitar resting against it, and began to strum.

Stolen as it was, the solace he found in music almost never failed to soothe him.

Minutes passed, almost unnoticed; a new melody danced at the tips of his fingers, words to accompany it drifting almost to his ears. It was almost a shock to pause, look up, and realise that he had no idea how long it had been since Tankhun had ceased his fluttering and settled down to sit opposite him, gazing at him with an inscrutable expression in his eyes.

“...What?” Kim asked, when it became clear that Tankhun had no intention of breaking the silence of his own volition.

A beat of silence. Another. Kim couldn’t quite recall ever seeing his older brother so consumed by hesitance.

And finally, a hand stretching out towards the guitar, bridging the gap between them. “Can I try?”

---

me: oh hey KinnPorsche Week! with prompts especially for fic writers!! that seems cool I should really try to do that me, yesterday: oh. huh. KinnPorsche Week starts tomorrow and I’m sick and I haven’t written one single word, guess I’m not doing it :( me, at 10pm this evening: hold on let me black out real quick me, 90 mins later: where did these 730 words come from. did I do that. in conclusion I will probably put this on AO3 later and I MIGHT do the prompts for the rest of the week as well but as demonstrated here: literally who knows what she (me) will do!! not me!!!

23 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

134 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#physically put my head in my hands at one point while reading this. ZERO points for guessing which part #anyway wow do you think i like. watched kinnporsche this year or something??#tumblr2022

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randomobsessionsofa30something · 1 year

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My top 10 korean OSTs of 2022.

Hope you had a great time celebrating the new year! I was supposed to post this last week but last year I really was the worst at keeping up with my tumblr. I guess the whole working adult thing is draining me already of my hobbies. Anyway, hopefully I'll do a better job this year. Here's my favorite OSTs of last year.

10. Suzy- Inevitable. Extraordinary Attorney Woo Young Woo was one of the most popular dramas last year and this soft cute ballad by Suzy was such a joy to listen to.

9. MINO ft Gaeko- City+++. So I usually only include OSTs from korean dramas but I really loved the korean movie Seoul vibe. I don't know why I wasn't expecting much of Mino's debut as an actor and he really delievered as the courky nemesis of Yoo Ah In's character in the movie. He also co-wrote this OST and the song is so much fun.

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8. Sole- La vie. This is such a cool song in english with crazy vocals and was my favorite Little Women OST.

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7. Minhyun-Tree. So technically this song is from Alchemy of the Souls Part 1 and 2 but since it was released as the soundtrack of Part 2 I'll give myself and pass and add it as my favorite song of Part 2. I loved Part 1 and I am enjoying Part 2 of this epic drama. The OSTs are all so great but this one is one of my faves for sure. Minhyun's sweet vocals are just so beautiful. Ailee's I'm sorry was recently released and it's a great listen.

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6. Melomance-Love Maybe. Business Proposal was a hilarious drama to watch. I've always loved Melomance's vocals so it was great to listen to this song over and over in the drama (Kim Sejong's acoustic version is also great). Bam bam's Melting is also a fun listen.

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5. TAEYEON- By my side. The drama Our Blues was not really for me. It's well done though. The lyrics and Taeyeon's voice hits you right in the feels. By the way there were several songs from this drama that are amazing including Jimin's and Ha Sung Won's With you, Heize's The Last, NINGNING and Winter's Once Again, 10 cm's For Love, Punch's Bye bye and Davichi's Remember me.

4. SOHYANG-Luminous. I have to confess I only watched the first two episodes of Poong, the Joseon psychiatrist however the OSTs were so good. Sohyang has such an outstanding voice and it's so well suited for a historical drama so it was no surprised I loved this ballad. Make sure to check out Solji's By Your Side and Standing Egg's She.

3. CHEN-An unfamiliar day. Chen came back from the military on april of 2022 and by june he had already released an OST he's such an OST king! He also released another in november but it was this one from the drama Doctor Lawyer that I really loved. The drama was intense for sure and so were the OSTs. Make sure to listen to Freedom by Lee Changsub.

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2. DOYOUNG-Unable to love. I was watching the web drama Dear X Who Doesn't Love Me, a slow burn friend to lovers drama with a supernatural spin to it, and I was really into Doyoung's portrayal of the unrequited love he has for main character and I was really emotional envolved so when I went and listen to the full live song I was overwhelmed by his delievery of this song and it really became one of my most listned OSTs of the year.

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1. JEONG SEOWOON-Just watching you. This was the most iconic OST of Alchemy of the Souls and I think we have stablished by now just how much I loved the drama so this became my favorite OST of the year for sure. The epic feel of the drama was perfectly portrayed by Seowoon's vocals and the beat. Please check out the rest of the songs for this drama because there's so many great ones like Scars leave beautiful trace by Car, the garden, Aching by Kassy, Raindops by Gummy and Breath by Kim Na Young.

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mimdetermined · 2 years

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buckle up because ao3 is run by little no-good pissbabies with the moral codes of a broken, wet pretzel in the bottom of your shoe, and Tumblr mobile doesn’t have a read-more yet. This is going to be a long one, folks, and I will not be taking questions, thank you.

Quick disclosure: No, I am not interested in your “critiques” or “discussion” or any way you wanna dress up disagreeing with me. I am not here to debate with ever or not sexism exists to you. I scarcely care about SPOP anymore, and I’m sure the actual harassment I received for calling out sexism is part of that. My faith in humanity was severely diminished to see first-hand how little people care about women.

This does not constitute harassment, by the way, and if you think it does— go report every call-out post on this website, and every block-list, regardless of if you personally think it exists for a good reason, like calling out racism or transphobia, or a TERF block list. This is no different from those, regardless of if you don’t agree with me. All it happens to be is very telling about what you do and don’t care about— and can you guess where women fall on that scale? Hint: Not the first one.

Sexism in She-Ra: A Cycle Perpetuated by Fandom

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Importance of She-Ra in the 80s

Castaspella and Micah in the 1985 Filmation series: The Siblings That Weren’t

The Spinster Problem

What IS In-Character?

Women Are(n’t) Caretakers

Cycle of Sexism, Or: The T!ppenfunkaport Problem

Conclusion

Introduction

Hello, my name is Mimmy, and I will hopefully be teaching you something about sexism, history and the importance of She-Ra: Princess of Power.

The 2018 Reboot, released in November of that year, was applauded for its representation— but in a lot of ways, it fell flat on its face. I am of course talking about the internalized misogyny present in the show, particularly in its treatment of one character: Castaspella.

To understand why the treatment of Castaspella by the 2018 Reboot and the fandom that followed is so wrong, we have to start at the beginning: the 80s.

The Importance of She-Ra in the 80s

The beginning of the 80s signalled a loss for feminism in television— the Wonder Woman live action show, which had run from 1975 to 1979. After its relatively short run, the re-runs came to a stop somewhere around 1982-1983.

Without the re-runs of Wonder Woman, young girls were left with other options for television— but none quite as groundbreaking as Wonder Woman.

“It left us with Gem and The Holograms. It left us with shows about girls that had no power— had no strength. The shows about girls that we wanted to be, they took away, and they told us to be pretty and they told us to sing and they told us to wear fancy clothes and do our make-up, but not to change the world. We changed it anyway.”

-80s Mother

Though even Wonder Woman has her own feminist problems today with her outfit designed for the male gaze, something which even She-Ra is not immune to, as a character she was a huge step for female leads in television today,

In 1981, the cartoon The Smurfs aired on television, in which the only female character was Smurfette— and naturally, as the only girl, she’s in a dress and high heels, and one of the few characters with hair. (Because bald women are unheard of.)

Ignoring the incestous undertones present in all Smurfs properties, the constant fawning over Smurfette by her ninety-nine “brothers” leads us to the Smurfette Principle.

The aptly named Smurfette Principle, which I’m certain I don’t need to explain the origin of— is a phenomenon in which there’s one woman in a group of men and, more often than not, exist solely for the male characters.

This was present even in He-Man, which originally aired 1983, with the character of Teela— who almost wasn’t included at all, due to the fear that having even a single female character might dissuade young boys from enjoying He-Man.

Mattel bent on this upon realizing they could re-use the model to make more female characters to target at young girls instead— greed is greed.

She-Ra: Princess of Power aired 1985, a collaboration between Filmation and Mattel, unlike its predecessor. She-Ra was groundbreaking— rather than just one powerful female character, all of the powerful characters were women. In fact, the damsel in distress was a man!

Despite all the limitations it had— limited character models, a tight budget— She-Ra came and went, and broke barriers. Little girls could feel empowered again!

According to my mother, who grew up around that time, little girls would play She-Ra on the playground and even interrupt the boy’s games in which they’d have She-Ra come in and beat everyone up. Adorable!

But the history of She-Ra isn’t that simple— the woman who originally came up with She-Ra, Janice Varney-Hamil, was blamed for the plummet in He-Man sales in 1987.

“There was one theory from Dave Capper and he says, “You know, the reason He-Man sales aren’t doing well is because of you.” I go, “Me?” He said “Yes, you you came up with She-Ra. That basically demasculized He-Man and now boys don’t want him anymore.”

-Janice Varney-Hamil, The Toys That Made Us (Season 1, Episode 3 “He-Man”)

A survey indicated that little boys who had played with He-Man for a couple of years no longer felt empowered if their sisters did. He-Man may have been ready to teach morals— at least the Filmation series had been— but the moral of sharing something like that with their sisters was not easily teachable.

The treatment of He-Man and She-Ra was vastly different— especially evident in He-Man and the Masters of The Universe having 37 more episodes than She-Ra: Princess of Power.

He-Man also had multiple different reboots and/or additional series, including The New Adventures of He-Man released in late 1989 and the 2002 animated remake, which had 30% of the amount of episodes as the original, due to He-Man’s fall from grace.

Castaspella and Micah in the 1985 Filmation series: The Siblings That Weren’t

Castaspella’s story in the original Filmation cartoon has backstory— a Sorceress who once trained under Norwyn with her rival, Light Spinner.

When Hordak arrived on Etheria, he offered Light Spinner a shortcut to power and she took it. In exchange, she’d betray Norwyn, Castaspella and the Council of Kings.

However, Castaspella herself did not fall for this— and worked hard for her power, eventually becoming the Queen of Mystacor. (Although she was temporarily dethroned in her debut episode.)

As the most powerful Sorceress on Etheria, she was a valuable member of the Rebellion and a great friend to She-Ra. But 2018 reboot Castaspella… is not quite the same.

Despite 1985 Castaspella being a prominent character in both the toy line and the show, appearing in a total of ten episodes and with nine speaking roles, 2018 Castaspella is instead sidelined for King Micah, who only appeared in one episode.

Not only is she sidelined in favour of him, but he’s granted all her power and even her storylines. But what he doesn’t keep is the moral— a big part of Castaspella’s character was that there was no shortcut to power and you had to work for it. Micah, as a natural prodigy who rarely messed up, is in many ways an opposite.

There were many work arounds to this that would’ve kept Castaspella more relevant in this girl-power cartoon, but the writers of She-Ra (2018) seemingly didn’t notice the problematic aspects of this.

Understandably, not everyone does. But at the end of the day, it is a woman being completely sidelined for a man. For a show that’s supposed to be empowering to women, it really depowered that one, which makes the 1985 version more progressive in that way.

This is similar to Chickification and/or Men Act, Women Are.

To add insult to injury, 1985 Castaspella was completely unrelated to both King Micah and Glimmer. Micah’s character model was even reused in a later episode, further illustrating how unimportant he was in comparison.

I’ve had to establish this before, but no one is saying men can’t be powerful— far from it! He-Man had three different TV series and a live action movie to prove it. However, in She-Ra, the men aren’t supposed to be stronger than the women.

Castaspella could easily remain the most powerful Sorceress on all of Etheria, further contributing to Glimmer feeling like the weakest member of her family, and her idolizations of Micah could be based less in reality and more in her memory, while still keeping Micah perfectly as he is. He could even have the storyline with Light Spinner— there is plenty of workarounds.

But the fact of the matter is that they didn’t bother to workaround it so Castaspella could still play a part, and instead reduced her to the weakest named Sorceress and an overbearing Aunt, bringing me into our next point.

The Spinster Problem

There is nothing wrong with being an unmarried older woman— but everyone will try to convince you otherwise. Welcome to the Spinster problem.

From the most powerful sorceress on Etheria and the Queen of Mystacor, Castaspella is downgraded to Glimmer’s eccentric aunt, and a prolonged joke about hating the in-laws.

Although it’s clear Castaspella does not actually hate her sister-in-law, this is played for laughs and never given any real depth.

As the eccentric aunt, Castaspella is immediate there to hug her niece and express her joy that Glimmer is visiting. When Glimmer coughs to get her attention, Castaspella comments that she’s changed her hair and isn’t wearing the sweater she knitted.

Rather than admitting it was an impromptu visit or that she doesn’t like the sweater, Glimmer comes up with a thin excuse with more holes in it than the plot.

From this introduction, we’re supposed to believe Castaspella is ‘a little much’ and needs to be ‘handled’, but a simple comparison to Angella proves she really isn’t— the narrative framing wants us to believe that the protagonists (Glimmer) are always in the right.

The fact of the matter is, both Angella and Bow’s dads do similar things to Castaspella, such as commenting on Glimmer’s hair (Angella) or telling embarrassing stories about how they thought they made Bow/Glimmer up. But they’re not framed the same way, by the narrative or the fandom.

I’d be concerned if I spent all that time knitting a gift and I never saw them wearing it— what if they didn’t like it? Would I just keep making gifts until they admitted they didn’t, pouring love into these items they’d shove in the back of the closet, or until finally I decided enough was enough and stopped?

Bow’s dads also display a variety of emotions throughout their debut episode, but aren’t framed as emotional or unable to defend themselves. (But more on that later!)

What IS In-Character?

I’ve talked about how Castaspella isn’t overtly emotional like she’s often portrayed in fan works, now let’s talk about what she is.

Now, here’s what I’ve gathered— family is important to her, but so is Mystacor. The two aren’t mutually exclusive— she can care about her family without devoting her entire life to them, and she can care about her own success.

She is successful— and implied to be incredibly busy. Glimmer sounds pretty proud to say her Aunt is Head Sorceress, implying it is a well-respected and well-earned title.

A theme we see with her is she doesn’t feel good enough— subtextually, it’s implied when she’s talking about Angella.

“She’s an angelic being, after all, I'm just a… common Sorceress.”

This implies that despite being Head Sorceress, she doesn’t view herself as good enough for Angella, and is projecting that feeling onto Angella.

Considering she brings up the fact she writes to Angella and Angella doesn’t respond solidifies that Castaspella has nothing against Angella— she’s hurt that Angella seems to have something against her, and she feels the reason may be that she’s not good enough.

Angella later brings up in the first episode of the second season that she was present in Battle of Bright Moon, which Castaspella seems more exasperated than anything by.

(This is also never explained, but given the fact most of the other princesses barely arrived, I’d argue the nightmare weather is plenty of a factor, especially for a flying kingdom that might be especially susceptible to storms.)

As I discussed in the post above, she’s actively looking out for Angella during the interrogation, further proving she is more than capable of pushing her hurt feelings aside.

(I’d also argue that Castaspella getting angry may not be what we thought— she raises her hands as if to cast a spell, just a little closer, which could indicate a great number of things. Silencing spell, perhaps?)

The same dialogue also solidifies that Castaspella does not believe in the Rebellion and the Princess Alliance— any more. We see from the mural that she was in the first Alliance, and it’s likely she lost hope when it fell apart. Unlike Angella and the new generation, she doesn’t regain the hope— and no one tries to reignite it for her.

She has made a choice for the betterment of her kingdom to focus on protecting Mystacor— and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. At least she didn’t have a kid and leave her kingdom like everyone else seemed to.

Women Are(n’t) Caretakers

A major part of the fandom seems to have decided Castaspella is a bad person because she only appeared in one episode of Season 4. I strongly disagree.

Let’s talk her one appearance in Season 4: In which Castaspella takes on the responsibility of planning Glimmer’s coronation— need I mention that Bright Moon is implied to be one of, if not the, biggest kingdom in Etheria?

Wedding planning is stressful enough, but a coronation for the leader of the Rebellion is likely even more so.

Castaspella throughout the episode is shown to be trying to ease Glimmer into decision making, even when it’s something she doesn’t care about— prepping her to be a ruler, even giving Glimmer an unimpressed look when she responds with a TON of uncertainty.

Though not in so many words, she says this herself.

“Isn’t this fun? Soon you will have to make many decisions. Just like your mo….”

-Castaspella, Season 4, Episode 1: The Coronation

There’s a point where Castaspella is nearly in tears during this, and it’s one of two moments in this episode where you can see her grieving Angella.

“You’re right— it’s an awful idea! I should just fire myself!”

Castaspella, Season 4, Episode 1: The Coronation

The combined stress of planning the Coronation, her grief and her overall feelings that she isn’t good enough come tumbling down for a second in a moment of vulnerability, which is quickly interrupted by Mermista dumping the entire ocean on her and Glimmer.

And as she does with any chance to hide her feelings— she masks. But this isn’t enough for viewers— planning a coronation is all in good fun, and because she doesn’t ditch her other responsibilities, she’s seen as a bad person.

There is a huge societal expectation for women to put family over all else, a thing few apply to men. Did you know 84% of family caregivers are women? Some even have to choose it over other responsibilities or further pursuits for their future, such as education or friendship.

This is a huge stress on women, and women caregivers are often burnt-out or have more stress than male counterparts might.

A part of this is women may be labelled selfish— by peers or even themselves— if they do not fulfill these “duties”, and that’s present in the way the fandom interacts with these female characters.

For example, Uncle Iroh from Avatar is a morally grey man who put his 16-year-old nephew on the throne of a nation, a nephew which had been banished for three years and likely didn’t have the experience, knowledge or education expected of him to lead the Fire Nation.

Instead of helping his nephew out, he opens a tea shop in Ba Sing Se— far, far away from the Fire Nation, when he could just as easily open one nearby. Any time sensitive problems would be difficult, since even a letter could take days to arrive. Despite this, he’s applauded and Castaspella scorned.

Meanwhile, on the other end, Castaspella is shown to be just a call away— when Shadow Weaver arrives in Bright Moon and promptly falls unconscious, Castaspella is there before she wakes, ready to imprison and interrogate her with magic.

Despite it being implied numerous times that Castaspella is incredibly busy, she still drops everything to come to Bright Moon in the middle of the night.

But because she doesn’t ditch her other responsibilities— the kingdom she’s in charge of which happens to double as a magic school— she’s seen as selfish, as having abandoned her niece. Think critically— if you were in a position like that, and you knew your niece had a support system, would you drop everything to babysit her?

I highly doubt Queen Angella abandoned her kingdom and young daughter when Castaspella lost her brother— why should there be a difference? Why is Castaspella’s grief of possibly her only family member (other than Glimmer) not as important?

Cycle of Sexism, Or: The T!ppenfunkaport Problem

Fanfiction is a wonderful way to express yourself, interact in fandom, practice writing or simply just to have fun. But fanfiction is still fiction, and any fiction can and should be judged for any problematic aspects.

But unlike racism, transphobia or, occasionally, homophobia and ableism, calling out misogyny and sexism isn’t going to have the same effect.

To put it simply: People don’t like women, and they often don’t even believe in internalized misogyny, meaning they believe women are incapable of being misogynistic. Because women have more rights nowadays, people seem to forget microaggressions still have a negative effect.

Let me give you some quick background: I’ve been reading fanfiction for probably eight years now, and writing it for almost as long. A lot of the audience for fanfictions are young, impressionable children who may internalize these things.

And don’t give me the ‘media doesn’t actually have an effect’, because the thousands of people who view Africa as one giant impoverished desert prove otherwise.

Starting with popular Glimbow shipper and self-proclaimed Bow enthusiast— T!ppenfunkaport, a well over 18 woman who should probably know better.

The problems start with her fic “SPOP Friendship Shorts”, originally written for the Palentines event (which is also run by T!ppenFunkaport.)

The prompt is for Day 4: Relatives, and begins with Angella and Castaspella having a heated discussion about Glimmer at Princess Prom, and is promptly described as shrill, a word with a very sexist history. I mean very.

“Of course you’d do this, you ALWAYS do this, Angella! Block me out and deliberately exclude me like Glimmer isn’t my family too! My ONLY niece when you KNOW I have no children of my own to fuss over and you won’t even let me be a part of her life!”

Casta was ranting, shrill and fast, and the all too familiar sound made Angella’s eye twitch. She never felt all of her decades more than at these monthly teas they kept up more out of habit than actual enjoyment. Micah’s sister had always been exhausting. But this was different than the fit about the flowers at Micah’s memorial or her objections to the new regulations on magical plants and powders. She could hear her sister-in-law’s teacup clatter in its saucer as her hands shook.”

-SPOP Friendship Shorts, Chapter 3: That Boy

Castaspella is portrayed as overly emotional, while Angella is able to keep her emotions in check. (Note that Angella’s emotions, rather being portrayed as hysterical, are more frustration-related.)

I’ve established that Castaspella actually represses her emotions in-canon, shutting them away at the first chance she gets, and I understand this detail isn’t something everyone catches— I have my doubts the writers even planned it themselves. But even if that is how canon portrayed her, perpetuating something offensive in your writing makes you complicit.

But what finally gets Angella and Castaspella bonding in this fic is talking about a boy. That’s right. These two powerful women can’t find peace without the help of a man— meaning this fic doesn’t pass the Bechdel test, the bare minimum for female representation.

But her other fanfiction is where I find truly crosses a line— a fanfiction so overtly out-of-character it’s character bashing at best. And as someone who once wrote several Kagome bashing fanfictions, I can say with confidence it hits all the marks.

The problems start in the fifth chapter of ‘Going There’, simply titled ‘Bailed’.

The problems arise quickly when Shadow Weaver implies that Castaspella isn’t competent, and the writer is clearly on her side, judging by the way the narrative frames it.

“How dare you!” Castaspella lept up from where she was sitting on the small chest that was the only seat in the cramped room. At least they hadn’t tried to fit the entire alliance in here this time. Just what King Micah considered his top generals: Juliet, Castaspella, Adora, Bow and… Shadow Weaver for some reason. Though considering how hostile everyone in the room was towards her, the old sorceress might have invited herself. “I am the Head Sorceress of Mystacor, I have run—“

Shadow Weaver laughed, a sound without any real mirth. Next to him, Adora tensed. “You know as well as I that role is merely for show. The teachers and the guild are the ones that really run things up on Mystacor. The so-called head sorcerers are little more than figureheads, a token title given to placate those with an overinflated sense of their own importance. Do you honestly think as weak a sorceress as you would ever hold the title if your brother were not who he was? If Angella had not been—“

So a strong start: Implying Castaspella, a character she admits to not liking, is incompetent and devaluing her position, to the point that she suggests Castaspella only got her position because of Micah.

I shouldn’t need to explain the problematic aspects of implying a woman in power is only there because of a man, because that happens in real life all too much— even my mother faces sexism-based scrutiny for being the Post Master, as any woman in a position of power likely will in her lifetime.

Once Micah, the big strong man, defends Castaspella in a calm and collected manner (because women are delicate), we have this gem.

“There! You see!” Castaspella sat back down triumphantly. There was only one seat in here and she’d had it for hours. Would it kill her to let someone else sit down for a little bit? Adora was leaning against a tent pole and looked about ready to fall over from sheer exhaustion. “Micah trusts me! He has faith in my abilities as a sorceress and a leader so you should—“

Castaspella in the show is never portrayed to be particularly selfish, but as we discussed in the Women Are Caretakers section, she’s seen as selfish solely because she refused to become a full-time caretaker. It’s part of T!ppenFunkaport’s internalized misogyny— she considers Castaspella a bad person for not becoming a caretaker, something that wouldn’t be applied if she was a man.

“Surely you couldn’t have expected me to abandon my duties as… I stayed as long as… She was being difficult, Glimmer, so moody and rude and…” Castaspella was getting shrill. “I would never abandon my niece!”

Making a point to describe her voice as shrill again, which I’ve already touched on the inherent sexism of, T!ppenfunkaport then goes to imply Micah does not truly, fully trust his sister, and instead trusts some random children he just met.

Meanwhile, in the very next chapter, Bow’s dads are portrayed as worried, loving parents and kind to his friends.

What an interesting difference, considering the main difference in how they act and how Castaspella acts is based on the fact Glimmer doesn’t really make time for her family like they make for her— Angella tries to resolve arguments and Glimmer runs off for the Rebellion, Castaspella is often too busy to visit Bright Moon and Glimmer doesn’t visit Mystacor to see her, rather than take advantage of the privileges she has as Head Sorceress’ Niece.

Meanwhile Bow has a scheduled reminder for when it’s time for him to visit his parents, despite the fact he practically puts on a disguise when he’s with them.

Conclusion

Honestly, I don’t know how to conclude this. I doubt this will change anyone’s minds— if it were that easy, sexism would be gone by now. Women who speak out will always be called attention-seekers, crazy bitches, and the like. Nowadays, they’ll even be labelled a “TERF” or “Karen”.

It’s disappointing to see how few people care about how their actions affect people in the big picture, even if it’s just one small thing that normalizes misogynistic stereotypes, it’ll always count. We internalize these things in ways we don’t realize, which is why so many people still think dandelions are weeds. (When they are, in fact, no more so than a daisy.)

Until next time,

Mimdecisive

#spop #she ra #discourse #call out post #more or less #essay #sexism #misogyny #fandom misogyny #in this essay i will #incest mention #castaspella #long post

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