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seven-oomen · 5 months

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Listen I get that you have BPD. I get that you have a mental illness. But that doesn't excuse rude or shitty behavior.

I kinda get why people are fed up with you.

#borderline personality disorder #bpd #actually mentally ill #this is specifically about #my friend with bpd who tried to invite multiple other people along even though today was supposed to be about us reconnecting #because she missed us and felt like we were growing apart #so me and our other friend went out of our ways to clear our agendas to see her today #and then she asked me last night if other people that i don't know well can come along today too #eh no? i have a chronic illnesses and i dont cope well with strangers #oh and she didnt even ask our other friend if it was okay #she just changed the plan without notifying him at all #so we cancelled #and she didn't even apologize to him for trying to invite people he didnt even know #like i get that you find it difficult to tell someone no sorry i have plans #i understand #but at LEAST ask both people you're meeting up with if it's okay to bring more people along?#instead of just springing that fact on him q #1.5 hours before meeting up #and then at least apologize for your behavior #but no #sorry but I'm kinda understanding why people are fed up with you at this point

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nonasbirthday · 10 days

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Tbh? I don't like Paul. I don't want Paul. I understand that Paul serves an important narrative function and that Paul is the best possible ending for Camilla and Palamedes given their situation, personalities, and relationship. However what I really want is for Camilla and Palamedes to attend the ATN wedding as two individual humans and for Pal to be a lightweight who loses his tie in the garden fountain after three drinks and for Camilla to do exactly one shot with the group, keep Gideon from ripping the sleeves off her dress shirt, and absolutely kill it at lawn games during cocktail hour. Since this scenario is a wild tonal mismatch for the series and also Palamedes was already dead, this was unlikely to ever happen. However Paul is the final nail in the coffin for the theoretical existence of this scene and I can't help but resent them for that

#I don't think we as readers are supposed to welcome Paul. at least not without grieving Pal and Cam #Paul's existence is both a horror and a triumph #however my concerns are much more petty and involve Camilla winning at cornhole #I can't yet properly characterize Paul. would Paul lose their tie in the fountain??? would Paul win at cornhole??#or does everything that made Pal and Cam individually delightful cancel out into a person who is mostly competent and boring.#they balanced each other out you see!!! so what happens now that they're combined into one person!!!!#the locked tomb #nonasbirthday #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers

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lotus-pear · 3 days

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top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

#day 9547860367 of drawing them in the hopes that the next chapter will be ada reunion. we will see.#ALSO HELP slamming my head into a brick wall i'm gonna get cancelled for glasses erasure one day istg. i'm sorry kuni #watch me once again exaggerate a barely visible height difference in canon bc idgaf dazai should get to be short for once in his life #anyway i hope skk eats shit i want knkdz back i miss them so fucking much #i pray and beg and sob every night kneeling at my bedside for dazai to go home and see his husband and son again #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws #uughhhhh posting at ungodly hours AGAIN this is gonna catch up to me one day istg

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inkskinned · 1 year

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we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.

recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.

the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.

your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.

the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.

the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.

the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.

#<3 time to get cancelled on the internet #btw this is trans inclusive author is nb #writeblr #i had a kind of argument with someone about that bill bc he was like ''oh but we do this for other organs'' and im like #okay so like the time it takes to safely extract an organ #versus NINE MONTHS of not having consent . not being able to bury the body.#my family unable to mourn. being used a host.#even if ALL OF THAT was NOT the case.#i do not believe for a fucking SECOND this would be use safely. i cannot imagine a world in which #it was not immediately and with gusto. used to abuse others

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doctorwhoisadhd · 4 months

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NEED jack and 15 to meet and fuck nasty.

#doctor who #fifteenth doctor #jack harkness #captain jack harkness #ncuti gatwa #dr who #dw #ari opinion hour #need this. so fucking bad #you know torchwood was never cancelled can we get 15 to biregenerate and then go bisexual shit with jack. Please #not bonff

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miraculoususername · 1 year

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People warning about shows getting cancelled because of the writer's strike fail to understand that all my favorite shows have already been cancelled. You can't hurt me more than Netflix already has.

#wga strike #yes this is about julie and the phantoms #justice for julie and the phantoms #tag your favorite cancelled shows so we can cry together #also to be clear #i fully support the strike

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vampyr-tea · 1 year

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You mean to tell me…I could’ve had an animated Dracula movie by this legend…🧍I’m. Going to. Destroy the world. 🦇

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celluloidbroomcloset · 14 days

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No, y'know what? I love Season 2. I thought there was nothing wrong with Season 2 until I saw folks on here complaining about Season 2. I don't even care about the changes they might or might not have had to make, or the occasional pacing issues (Season 1 has pacing issues too, in places, but it's still great!).

THIS was the season that changed me. THIS was the one that made me go "huh, I need to think more about who I am."

Really tired of all the various caveats of "if only..." and "well, if Max hadn't..." and "this plot would've worked better..."

No. I love it. If it has to end there, I'm glad that's where it ends. I'd love to have more, but this worked so fucking well.

I love Season 2.

#ofmd #ofmd season 2 #edward teach #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #our flag means death #i get that folks are still upset about the cancellation #and so am i #but for now this is what we have and it's REALLY GOOD #too much depressive speculation and “look at what they took from us”#we got so much and that should be celebrated goddammit

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marisatomay · 8 months

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online buddy of mine (born in 2004) said “i strongly suspect the vast majority of ‘I'll always remember where I was on 9/11’ stories are not true. I simply don't believe that 75% of people were watching the news live at 8:45 in the morning on a Tuesday when the strangest thing happened.” and like. okay. we can talk about the aftermath in the 22 years since 9/11 and the horrific and evil jingoism that ruined countless lives in decades-long wars all we want. but i cannot overstate enough that 1) we still very much had a monoculture in 2001. most americans would watch either the today show or GMA. 2) as soon as that first plane hit every news station in the country was covering it. schools and businesses and break rooms turned on every tv. every radio. anything that had the ability to broadcast the news. (smartphones weren’t a thing. cell phones and the internet existed but they were new and fragile. unreliable. your best bet was still to sit there and watch. or listen.) and we all sat there and watched the second plane hit and the pentagon hit and the towers collapse and flight 93. so, yes: basically everyone who was alive and old enough to form lasting memories in 2001 remembers that day and the coverage. even people who weren’t near a tv or radio in real time remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. they probably even remember the reason why they didn’t hear about it in real time. i was 5 years old in my first week of first grade and i remember it. it was like. the biggest thing to happen in this country since fucking. pearl harbor. bigger. there’s no need to downplay that.

#personally: my school intentionally kept us in the dark and didn’t dismiss us so i didn’t find out until i got home #but we all knew something was up because it was a glorious september tuesday and they cancelled recess to keep us inside #and all of the teachers looked shaken and some kids were picked up by their parents.#i still remember the look on the face of the mom of one of my classmates. we would later find out that her dad (my friend’s grandpa) died.#but they didn’t tell us what was going on and i think they made the right choice.#didn’t want to traumatize thousands children more than necessary. i think they were right.#i still remember exactly where i was and how my parents told us though #and i remember all of the coverage after. all of it.

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originalaccountname · 9 months

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Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is [...] “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. [...] “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.”

Kafka Asagiri, for the BSD exhibition

On Mori and regret.

This man acts based on his perceived "optimal solution". It means relying on cold logic, detached from (his own and others') emotions. In that way, he fits right in as one of the smart characters of BSD, contrasting for example Dazai's way of working with/around people's feelings, and Fyodor's way of manipulating and twisting those feelings into monsters.

Mori remains cold, logical, distant, efficient. It meant disregarding Yosano's and the soldiers' deteriorating mental health during the war because the concept of an army that cannot be wiped out was too good. It meant following Natsume's plan and taking the old boss' place himself to fix Yokohama's underground and protect the city and its people. It also meant disposing of Mimic by sacrificing Oda in order to get the special ability business permit, despite (and perhaps because of) Dazai's attachment to the man.

The thing is, humans are not logical creatures, and will inevitably encounter conflicting emotions.

(does this look like the face of a man without regrets to you?)

Mori in Dark Era tried to pass on to Dazai his practice of putting aside his own feelings for the sake of choosing the most efficient solution that will benefit the group. It backfired spectacularly, so much so even, that Mori regrets it to this day.

For the BSD exhibition, Asagiri wrote some individual character commentaries, all very interesting insights into their characters and the writing intentions. For Mori, here's what he wrote:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution” Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting] Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”. (By the way, it goes without saying that Dazai is inducing Mori’s thoughts by words that will make him regret the past. It is to make him decide to form an “alliance”.) source and translation: Popopretty

(notice the inclusion of Hirotsu in this scene. Remember that later, Hirotsu suggests that Dazai knows why Mori did what he did to overthrow the old boss, which, in my opinion, is both a proof of Dazai's support in Mori's goal, and a reminder to uphold it.)

One of my favourite parts of the Dark Era light novel is a small scene during the epilogue that was not adapted into the anime. This is two weeks after Dazai defected:

To quote Asagiri again, "Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings." Mori is conflicted about the outcome of the Mimic incident. He holds in his hands the Silver Oracle he himself gave to Oda, and reflects on its purpose: to "help the man mentioned above without hesitation in the face of any and all trials". Didn't he fail to do just that with Oda? Didn't he set him up and sent him to his doom? Didn't he abandon him to his trial?

But he rationalizes the events by saying he got the permit they so badly needed. No matter if he sacrificed one of his men. No matter if he drove Dazai away. He accomplished his priceless goal. It was a total success.

And yet, he poorly folds a paper airplane with the very Silver Oracle he gave Oda, throws it, watches it crash immediately, and mourns the loss of his right-hand man, without ever moving on.

But we have a direct example of Mori expressing regret.

The perception that Mori in BEAST is a completely different character than Mori is in canon, when that perception doesn't extend to any other character from that universe, rubs me the wrong way. The characters in BEAST are very similar to their canon selves, with some core traits getting a new twist. They are all one or two major life changes away from becoming these versions of themselves. As far as we know, Mori's only life-altering event was being forcefully removed from the Port Mafia by Dazai, and secretly put in charge of Atsushi's old orphanage.

Mori unambiguously made that orphanage a better place, as stated by Atsushi himself. BEAST!Mori is a lot softer, vulnerable and honest. That Mori offers to be a father to Atsushi while he heals. He also expresses regret in not being able to help Dazai when he was in his care.

I think it's very interesting, especially when knowing that Asagiri wrote both BEAST and Fifteen at the same time for the Dead Apple movie, because in Fifteen we have this:

The beginning of the first chapter of Fifteen is a gold mine. It is narrated from Mori's point of view, the man of logic and calculations, and yet it is full of doubt. He is alone and struggling to fix everything with so many people against him. But, throughout this scene about grasping at the Port Mafia's power, there is also this secondary thought being woven in, of Mori having started to actually care for Dazai.

The teenager is scary to him, smart enough to be a threat should he decide to be done with all this and turn against him, and yet, he immediately (and with a hint of sadness) finds that Dazai reminds him of himself. This lonely, lonely man found a kindred spirit, bright enough to grasp any situation in seconds and prone to using an uncomfortable obsession to divert and keep you guessing his true intentions. Mori entered Mentor Mode™ then. He taught Dazai his ways, he shared his struggles and thought process, he fought tooth and nail to keep him alive.

So when he asked Dazai why he wanted to die, it was with the concern of someone who has started to care. It was with the mind of someone who is trying to prevent the worst by fixing the problem at its source.

(translation: Reneray)

But it's also that self-projection/ability to relate that made him drive Dazai away, when he pushed too hard and forced Dazai to adhere to his optimal solution philosophy. Because Dazai cannot separate himself from his attachments, could not ignore his emotions like Mori does, and chose Oda over Mori's logic. From Dazai's point of view, that was betrayal. Mori and him were accomplices!

Dazai planted the idea that Mori was afraid of him taking over as boss, and Mori seems to agree with that thought (would it be because he feared for his life, or for Dazai's ability to replace him?) Yet, for a man afraid of his closest subordinate backstabbing him, he seems to be hanging on quite hard to the possibility of Dazai coming back, leaving his seat open to this day, inviting him back twice in the same arc, and...

(yeah I used this picture at the start too. "I hAvE nO rEgReTs" he says)

Mori may try to convince himself he feels no regrets and no guilt over his own actions by weighting gains and losses objectively, but he still hurts and has a very hard time moving on. He's human despite his best efforts, prone to mistakes and doubts. He's lonely and wishes to impart his knowledge onto others. His cold logic has both helped him in fixing the city, and alienated him from some of the people he most cared about.

In a similar vein, should the ADA employee transfer be of topic again, and should Mori clash with Yosano again, I wish we get to see some similar conflicting emotions in Mori between the usefulness of Yosano's ability, and Yosano herself as a person. The war was 14 years ago, that's a long time, and I want to believe that counts for something.