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tired-reader-writer · 13 days

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Why Greylise Is My OTP: An Essay

To preface this, I would like to state that this in no way implies any other ship is wrong or invalid, we all ship what we ship! I merely hope to convey why I prefer Graham* as a love interest for Elise over Linden.

Some of my quips will get on the more negative side, since I do mislike Linden and take issue with the story's writing at several points. However, this is only my opinion and absolutely not intended to put down those who enjoy this manhwa. Hey, I keep rereading it too! Even if it makes me want blood pressure medication sometimes.

Some rare few of you might have vague memory of a post similar to this having made before, by another blog, but surprise surprise t'was I all along! It was my side-blog @a-perfect-summer-storm which I had deleted due to personal reasons. I thought I ought to remake the post since I'm still surprisingly fond of this ship even after all this time, but this time better! I'm even making this on the website instead of the app so that I can fit like, 20+ screencaps in it. The app only allows 10 images per post.

*You may have realized that I kinda spelled Graham's name two ways, that's because I thought Greyham made for a prettier ship name while as a standalone name it looked a little funny. I'll probably only use Graham to refer to him as an individual while still having the ship name be Greylise.

So then! Without further ado, here thus begins my meta!

Part I: Reflections of Each Other

Their storylines and backgrounds are placed in a parallel position from the get-go— Elise as Song Jihyun/Jihyeon's debut introduces herself as a genius young lecturer, and Graham's introduction does the same. This would make for a good way to make the readers start connecting the dots between them.

And the similarities don't end here.

They're both orphans. While we're not told how Song Jihyun turned out an orphan (given up as an infant? lost parents in a traumatic manner?)— actually we hardly know anything about her aside from the fact that she's super smart and is a workaholic which is a writing flaw imo her past life only functions as an excuse to have her be super mega capable but I digress— it is clear that she's consumed by grief and guilt.

The panels I've featured here of little Jihyun were attached to a scene where Elise was musing about how she didn't even have parents to treasure even if she'd wanted to, so that's why she's being good to her family now because she's learnt the true value of familial bonds. Imagine you'd just been burnt to death only to wake up as an orphan in a strange, unfamiliar world where you have no one in your corner and must restart from the ground-up, wouldn't at least part of you think this life full of hardships must be some sort of punishment for your sins?

We know that she specifically became a doctor to atone for her sins— and we can infer that she's buried herself into it out of guilt and didn't allow herself to be happy as her internal monologue during the plane crash says:

“No! I can't die like this! My life is still miserable! Just when I'd decided to live happily!”

This was mere moments before her death. Let that sink in.

Imagine being a young child who'd just lost his entire family to a plague. Remember how the housekeeper told Elise that Graham was the eldest son. Eldest. Meaning he had younger siblings. Imagine the feeling of powerlessness. Imagine the feeling of being useless, imagine the guilt.

While I am a youngest child, I can say with full confidence from watching my eldest sister that... eldest siblings do have a sense of responsibility and protectiveness towards their younger siblings, even if, yes, due to bad parenting friction and animosity can fester between siblings. We're not given any indication of that, though, so I'll assume that Graham's relationship with his younger siblings must've been largely positive.

With Graham specifically, I would theorize that he suffers from survivor's guilt.

What's survivor's guilt, you may ask. Well, worry not! I've got the info for ya:

“Survivor's guilt is the response to an event that some people experience when they survive a traumatic event or situation that others did not.”

“Survivor guilt or survivor's guilt (but also survivor syndrome, survivor's syndrome, survivor disorder and survivor's disorder) is a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not.”

It's not stated or shown directly that he suffers from this, but judging from how he, a young boy of less than ten, made it his entire life mission to become a doctor who can cure everything, yeahhh I wouldn't say it's that big of a stretch.

I wish the story would've expanded upon that, given him a proper arc/spotlight instead of having Linden hog all the screentime but I guess that can't be helped when the author favors the male lead so much...

Notice how they both suffered immense loss: for Elise it was her family, her world, her comfort, her everything— and for Graham it was his family and yeah, losing his entire family in a traumatic manner would be the equivalent of his world coming crashing down. Notice how they both (at least by my extrapolation because canon doesn't care enough about Graham to dig into it—) strove to become doctors out of guilt.

Yet another tidbit of similarity between the two. Not much to comment here, only that they both went through immense hardship.

Part II: The Answer To Each Other's Prayer

Remember the deadly plague that killed the entire Fallon family? It rears its ugly head in the narrative once more, and Graham must face the thing that traumatized him to such a degree.

Or, he would, if the story actually gave a shit about him. As it is, he barely even exists in the periphery of this plotline, even as it's something that's so twined to his backstory and character. I will never not be mad about it.

So here on out it'll be extrapolation with what little knowledge of psychology and writing ability I have, some theories, aka My City Now.

Imagine you're facing your demons. The catalyst that sent you down this path, the path you've dedicated your entire being to. More and more patients show up with similar symptoms to the ones your family suffered all those years ago. It's getting harder to deny.

What do you feel in response to that?

You couldn't save your family twenty years ago. Can you save your patients' lives this time?

Or will you fail again?

Remember my theory that he has survivor's guilt. Remember my theory that he became a doctor because of said survivor's guilt.

What is the cost of failure for him here, psychologically?

In an ideal world, his perspective would've been given proper focus, have him play a more active role by Elise's side, but as we've established canon doesn't give a flying fuck about him soooo. Ugh.

In canon Elise essentially one-man armied her way through this plot point and solved everything by herself, but imagine if Graham had been allowed to be by her side. Had been allowed to be something almost like an equal. Imagine if they were shown collaborating. Yes, they did work together, but it wasn't shown and he was shunted into the background.

Imagine them working together, and the plague is stopped.

The plague that had killed his entire family, stopped in only a mere few days.

Imagine if they were allowed to have a character arc. Imagine if their relationship were allowed to actually develop. Imagine if it'd been given the narrative significance it could've, should've had.

Actually, the cholera arc would've been a perfect opportunity for this thread to be resolved. To backtrack a bit to back before Elise took the medical licensing exam, she saved a Duchess's life with a difficult operation, and her identity as not Rose but Elise de Clorance was subsequently revealed to Graham, who is shocked by this development, and ends up emotionally distancing himself from Elise. The cholera arc, where theoretically Elise would've been able to help him confront the source of his trauma and help him defeat it, could've been the perfect point for reconciliation. Elise could've even confided in him about her situation— her giving up her ticket to freedom for her brother's sake, her not being in love with Linden and how the Emperor has been trying to corner her into being betrothed to the prince, stuff like that. C'mon, let her be frustrated! Let her be angry! Also I really despise the king. As someone who was manipulated and coerced into attending medical school, I take severe issue with characters who do what my mother did to me. I guess I would've taken it better if the narrative called it out for what it was: manipulation, but it only ever frames the king as a jolly old good man who just really likes Elise. Ugh.

In an ideal version she wouldn't be in love with Linden but y'know, she isn't exactly in love w Linden at this point in the story (Ron doesn't count) so I'll take what I can get.

I won't get into it in this post but I have Thoughts about how there's two Fake Identity threads that ran... pretty much simultaneously, and how one could've had potential while the other (in my opinion) was completely and utterly pointless... I'll probably make another post just for it.

Despite everything, Elise heads off to war, and what awaits her afterwards is a caged life where she would surely wither. But that's in the future, and right now she's dealing with corruption, low budget, low supplies, not enough staff, and who shows up for her?

Man, imagine how resonant this moment could've been if they'd been allowed to reconcile and grow closer in the arc immediately preceding it. Imagine.

I am so mad about the wasted potential.

Just as she had saved him (in the theoretical version of the story where he's actually relevant) psychologically in the cholera arc, he will be the one to save her physically (and maybe also psychologically as well, by telling Linden who in an ideal version wouldn't be in love with her, about her struggles and pleads with the prince to help her— y'know, break out of the situation she'd been cornered into by his father).

Imagine the narrative symmetry we could've had.

Part III: The Path Forward

I actually had to skip forward to get the screencaps I wanted, my reread had only gotten to the point where he shows up for her, but I digress. I always thought it made no sense that he would've followed her back away from the frontlines where they would've needed a capable doctor to lead the hospital in her stead but oh well.

In the theoretical version where the story gave a shit about him... Elise would've been able to break off her engagement w Linden because he petitioned with his father to do so at Graham's behest, both doctors get rewarded (Elise was given a peerage separate from her family's iirc, and this would be a good chance for Graham to be able to bring honor to his family name like he wanted as well), they both become lecturers at the Royal Cross Hospital, they both get to move forwards, having broken free of the chains that bound them down, hand-in-hand.

I hope I managed to convey why I like this ship more than Linden/Elise— it's the potential they hold, and I'm very irritated that the story never gave enough of a shit about Graham to follow up on that potential. Graham was nerfed to make way for Linden and I stand on this hill.

Anyways, I now have an AU for this story (I actually have had it for a while but just never posted about it) and I have a name for it now! Kinda! Current placeholder title is From the Valley of Red Flowers. The hypotheticals and theories and stuff I mentioned in this post will be canon to the AU!

Was this too much effort for a ship nobody really cares about? Maybe! I know not many have read Doctor Elise, and fewer still use tumblr. This isn't one of the more popular ones like Who Made Me A Princess, even though Doctor Elise somehow got an anime adaptation.

#doctor elise reread #doctor elise #the royal lady with the lamp #meta #greylise (graham x elise)#graham de fallon #elise de clorance #from the valley of red flowers

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j-a-nuary · 18 days

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Robotwink 5000

WooSan -> WooSanSang, background SeongJoong (along with references to Princess & Puppy)

Warnings: 🔞non-explicit, but still nsfw🔞 Wooyoung is a sexbot but he's also so much more than that, supernatural elements, told from Hongjoong's POV kinda (I was going for a David Wong-ish thing), San is [checks notes]... it says here "a fucking loser"???, Hongjoong is a genius and knows way too much about his friends' sex lives, Seonghwa is being mysterious, Yeosang is only mentioned.

=====

Wooyoung was having an issue. A clash of sorts - not quite outdated hardware struggling to keep up with a driver patch. Most likely anyway. I hadn't run the diagnostics yet. It wasn't exactly a hassle to do it remotely, but there were other reasons I was hesitating.

When I got the little alert that a file path wasn't working correctly, I had checked if San and his boy toy were live.

They were.

"Something went thunk," Wooyoung moaned as San's hands gripped at his hair, "please try again."

For a second, San looked confused. But then Wooyoung opened his mouth and settled it onto his dick.

"Fuck… Woo…"

San's cumming face was… not as hot as one might expect. Then again, almost no one actually looks good when they're cumming. Except maybe Princess…

Wait, no, gotta focus. For diagnostic purposes, of course.

"Measly little error," Wooyoung positively purred, running his fingers through the streaks of cum San had so kindly deposited onto his face, "try again."

And that, ladies and gents, is how Choi San discovered he liked being degraded.

How do I know what that night was like? Well that's the thing people forget about the Robotwink 5000: he's always recording, and his memory can be downloaded.

Also he and San operate an erotic streaming site that specializes in "True POV".

Perverts.

=====

"Hyung! I have a massive problem!" San was looking around my garage, like he was expecting someone who gave a shit to pop out of the shadows.

"The sexbot I helped you build can only speak in those stupid error codes you wrote, and also you've had an awakening of your degradation kink?"

"God," he sighed deeply, momentarily looking off dreamily, "fuck yeah I have."

I nodded, eyes sticking back on the screen in front of me. I reached for my coffee cup. It felt too light.

"Welcome to the club. Did you bring him over?"

"Wait," San paused, looking suspicious, "how did you already know?"

I shrugged, glaring at my empty coffee cup.

"I saw the footage."

I also paused. For dramatic effect.

"Live."

If I hadn't heard the sounds San makes when he cums, I would have thought a teakettle was signaling its readiness. But I have, so I knew it was just the sound of a loser in distress.

"Should have thought of these things before making that website," I groaned. Standing and stretching for a moment gave San enough time to stop whining. I headed for the coffee machine.

"Can't you just do it remotely?" He asked, trailing after me.

"Sure," I shrugged, "but it helps to have him in front of me."

"Why?"

Something in San's tone made the hair on the back of my neck prickle. I set my cup under the nozzle and punched a few buttons before turning to speak with him.

"Don't you mean 'why's that hyung?'"

He had the decency to look embarrassed, but a defiant tightness remained in his jaw.

"Why's that hyung?"

"Better…" I pursed my lips, eyeing him for a moment before actually answering.

"Less chance of degradation of data if I'm doing tests in person. Also makes pushing any updates faster and easier."

The coffee machine spluttered and dinged, signaling that it was finished. I turned back around to grab it before returning to my work station.

"Fine," San relented, "I'll text him."

=====

"Something goofed!" Wooyoung smiled in greeting, "try again."

"Shit dude, it sure did." I gestured towards my work bench, "take a seat."

"Uh-oh," Wooyoung shrugged before hopping up onto the bench, "that's not available."

"Alright, I have an idea of what the problem might be," I held a cord out towards him, "do you mind?"

"That's just not possible," Wooyoung took the cord. His left eye rotated until the port was visible, and he plugged it in. "Try agaiiiiiiiiìììïîįīîı…"

His voice glitched, changing tone unpredictably until he eventually went silent and still. I turned towards my computer to take a look.

"Ugh," San shuddered, "I still don't understand why you had to make that his port."

"Easy to hide," I muttered, "did you try to teach him French?"

"Huh?"

I pointed at a file folder on my screen. San leaned forward.

"Why would I teach him French?"

I didn't have an answer for that.

"Maybe he did it on his own?" San pressed.

"How would that even happen?" I asked, exasperated. "My code might be good, but he's not going to spontaneously get ideas like that."

"I don't know," San huffed, "why does he know English?"

"Are you seriously going to tell me that hasn't come in handy at least once?"

"No, no, that was a good call I guess."

"This is going to take a while," I sighed, "you want to get dinner? I buy, you fly?"

San made a face, but nodded.

"What?" I asked, already tired of his shit.

"What what?"

"You're obviously feeling some type of way, so just say it."

San was visibly rankled by my calling him out.

"I'm not!" He protested, "I just…"

He glanced at Wooyoung.

I shrugged, laughing as it all came together.

"He was made to your specifications, not mine."

=====

"Puppy?"

I resisted the urge to fall to my knees at the call. Not in front of Wooyoung, inactive as he may be. Definitely not in front of San.

"Puppy?" San blanched, "what the hell?"

I could only shrug. Arguing would just highlight the nickname, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Ah," Seonghwa approached as quietly as ever, seeming to appear from the shadows rather than walk into the room. "Working on something important?"

I nodded towards Wooyoung's slightly limp form on my work table, "he's having some issues."

"Poor thing," Seonghwa sighed. He stepped closer, reaching out and running his hand through the black and blonde hair on the machine's head. He always did have a soft spot for… well… just about everyone and everything else.

I heard a choked sound from San, something between a cough and a growl. I rolled my eyes.

"Relax Sannie," Seonghwa laughed, "nobody's going to take your precious Wooyoung from you."

My eyes were getting sore from all the rolling they'd been doing today.

=====

"Puppy."

I worked myself closer to master, pressing my nose into his neck and licking at the slightly salty tang of sweat there.

"Let me take a look at Wooyoung's code."

I pushed myself up, sitting so I could give master a questioning look. He smiled up at me, reaching up to run a finger under my chin.

"Speak."

"Does master know coding?"

"Master knows a lot of things," his fingers trailed down to the collar I was currently wearing. He slid one through the loop, tugging me down roughly. "Including some code. Now," his other hand cupped my chin, fingers digging cruelly into the muscles of my jaw, "open up and stick that tongue out for master."

"!"

=====

Whatever Seonghwa did to Wooyoung's code fixed the issue. It did more than that though.

"There's something wrong with Wooyoungie."

San was pacing around a card table I had set up in my garage-turned-workshop.

"Wrong how?" I asked from my swivel chair.

I had several maps laid out on the table. One of just the country and Japan, overlayed with a transparency that I was using to track storms in the East Sea.

He paused, then quickly resumed his circle of anxiety.

"It's hard to explain," he stopped, tugging a milk crate from a shelf to use as a stool, "especially without sounding like an asshole."

"So you'll sound normal then," I laughed.

San cast a hurt scowl in my direction, pouting lips and sharp eyes.

"Sorry," I nodded at him, "tell hyung what's wrong."

He deflated then, slumping onto the only available space on the table. I tensed at the movement, but saw that he had landed on a section that had the Waterman butterfly projection laid out. I hadn't started working on that one yet.

"Hsdfynme," he mumbled into his arms.

"Speak up Sannie."

He groaned, then lifted his head just enough to rest his chin on his arms.

"He's defying me."

I stared at him, blinking as I deciphered his words. After a second, I spoke cautiously.

"You… wanted him bratty though?"

He groaned again, slumping back into his crossed arms. He must have left his mouth free from the material of his sweatshirt though. When he spoke, it was clear enough to be heard over the constant whirring of my assorted projects.

"I think he wants to break up with me."

I snorted, rolling my eyes in the safety of his slumped position.

"He's a robot," I reminded him, "he doesn't want anything."

=====

I want to note that the following has been reconstructed based on a combination of reviewing footage from Wooyoung's internal memory, and some drunken admissions from a night of drinking with just San, me, and Mingi. I've tried to avoid taking too much liberty with the narrative, but observation taints everything. Still, this is, more or less, an accurate depiction of a very personal and tumultuous moment in their relationship.

"I want to fuck Yeosang."

San gripped Wooyoung's hips so tight that he could feel the unnatural sharpness of his frame through his synthetic flesh.

"Y…" he faltered, not quite believing what was happening. "What?"

"Actually I want Yeosang to fuck me," Wooyoung clarified. "And I want you to watch."

San was no longer interested in testing the limits of the new lube they were trying out.

The lube was less viscous than their usual brand, less likely to gunk up the works of Wooyoung's self-lubricating system. I would be embarrassed to admit how much time I spent working on this, but it actually has more applications than you might think.

"Why'd you stop?" Wooyoung asked.

San released his hold on Wooyoung. Unsteady on his knees, he quickly fished through the sheets to find his boxers.

"Sannie?"

San ignored the call of his name. He had gone pale, feeling ill. Tugging the boxers on, he scrambled over to his desk. Stacks of mail, magazines, and seemingly every other bit of paper that filtered through his life were lifted and ruffled through.

"What's wrong?"

San grit his teeth, wishing Wooyoung would stop talking. He should have accepted my offer of a remote control. He should have just stuck to fleshlights. He should have fucking organized his desk!

"San…" Wooyoung was quieter now, but the call of San's name was accompanied by a soft touch against his arm this time.

"Don't touch me!" San lashed out, shaking his arm away from Wooyoung.

"Sannie just talk to me," Wooyoung pleaded.

No, San thought to himself, robots don't know how to beg.

"I can't believe my fucking sex toy wants to fuck other people," San muttered, turning his attention back to his search through his desk.

"I'm not your sex toy San," Wooyoung snapped, "I'm your boyfriend."

San whirled, clenched fists at his sides, only to be met with Wooyoung sulking.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?!"

"I don't know," Wooyoung pouted. "I don't like when you say things like that. At least not when your dick isn't in me at the same time."

San shook his head, turning once more towards his desk. He knew the manual had to be somewhere around here.

"You literally don't like anything. You don't dislike anything. You do what you're programmed to do except now there's some fucking error that makes it so that even my glorified fucking fleshlight says I'm not fucking good enough," he continued his search as he spoke, "as if I didn't specifically commission you to avoid exactly this fucking issue. Finally!"

San held the very unofficial, very handwritten, user manual in his hands. Turning to face Wooyoung, he started flipping through the pages.

"I know there's a fucking off switch…" he mumbled, trying to decode my handwriting.

Note: my handwriting is perfectly fine. San is just a dumbass.

"Off switch? Sannie, what are you planning to do?" Wooyoung took a few steps back from San.

"A full fucking reset," San didn't look up, still piecing together the scrawl on lined paper, "if I have to."

"San… baby," Wooyoung took stock of how he was, unfortunately, on the opposite side of the room from the door, "you don't want to do that. Not really, right? Let's just talk about this, okay?"

"Vol… volume control?" San read aloud, "god this would have come in useful a few times."

"You can't do this," Wooyoung kept trying to get through to him, "you'll end up regretting it!"

"I already do!" San finally looked up from the papers in his hands.

"You don't mean that."

"Mute…"

"San don't!"

"Authorization…"

"Please!"

"Number…"

"Baby please!"

"8-1-8-1."

Wooyoung's mouth kept working but no sound came out. He looked confused for a moment, then angry. San shook his head and turned back to the manual.

"Fucking stupid," he muttered.

He ran his fingertip down the page, looking for anything that seemed relevant.

Wooyoung took to throwing a silent tantrum. He threw pillows at San, who simply lifted an arm to guard against them as he read.

"Can't believe I fell for a fucking machine…"

Wooyoung tore the blankets off the bed next. They proved much less throwable than the pillows however.

"Should have known he… it, couldn't love me back…"

Wooyoung paused.

San wasn't reading anymore. Not really. He had found the power down command already. Now he was just trying to psyche himself up to actually use it.

Normally, he could have just asked Wooyoung to shut down. He didn't think he'd agree in the current situation however.

"Power down, authorization number 8-1-8-1."

The room was still. Silent.

"Just one person that didn't eventually get bored with me," San finally looked over to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung stood, still as a statue, duvet still in hand. He held it against his chest, as he had thought it might protect him.

"Was that really so much to ask for?"

=====

"What did you do to his code?"

Seonghwa looked up from his book with mild curiosity.

A frantic knocking had interrupted our perfectly good warming session. Seonghwa had given me permission to answer the door before casually tucking himself away as I made my way across the apartment.

I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, nervous about him possibly guessing what master and I had been up to.

"Hello to you too, San."

"Hyung," San gripped the front of my shirt. He looked like he was about to cry, "what did you do to him?"

"It wasn't Hongjoong," Seonghwa called from his position on my couch. "I fixed the verbalization issue."

San dropped his hands from where he was holding onto me, pushing past me to stare at Seonghwa.

"You did something to him," he almost whispered, "you changed him."

Seonghwa shook his head.

"No," he said curtly, "I only let him speak freely. So he could tell you what he wants."

"What does that even mean?!" San was getting angry now. I stepped forward, trying to place a calming hand on his back.

"Get off!"

The shove sent me teetering, dangerously close to falling.

Immediately, Seonghwa was on his feet. I felt his hand on my arm, saving me from falling to the floor. I regained my feet, offering a quiet thanks to him as we watched San start his pacing.

"He's a machine hyung. He doesn't have wants or needs. He serves a purpose!"

Seonghwa caught him by his collar. San let out a strangled yelp, trying to pry Seonghwa's fingers from the cloth and get away.

Seonghwa's grip only tightened.

"You should be kinder to the things you care for, Choi San."

Maybe I should have reviewed the patch that Seonghwa had written. When Wooyoung had passed testing with flying colors, I hadn't bothered. I trusted Seonghwa. Besides, if anything, Wooyoung had done better than when he was first judged as operating well enough to go to San. Before the errors had started. There had been zero indication that any problems would arise from the fix.

"I am kind to him!" San argued, "I give him everything he needs!"

Seonghwa only stared at him. I knew that look, very well. He would stay silent as long as it took for San to finally te-

"At least I thought I did."

San deflated, putting some of his weight onto Seonghwa's hold on him.

Seonghwa and I both stayed quiet, letting him say what he needed to.

"But he doesn't want me anymore."

I frowned. That was literally impossible. Wooyoung was built specifically for San. He was basically coded to be obsessed with him, including tons of specific coding to avoid any potentially harmful behaviors that could arise from that obsession.

"Did he say that?" Seonghwa asked, "did he say that he doesn't want you?"

San was crying. I'm not saying that to embarrass him, it's just the truth of the matter. He was crying and leaning forward to cry against Seonghwa's shoulder.

"No… but he…"

Seonghwa, reading the situation with the same ease as always, took a few steps backwards. He kept San with him, bringing him to the sofa to sit and let out everything we needed to know.

"He told me he wants…" San swallowed thickly, unable to look up yet, "he wants Yeosang."

"You fucking idiot," I couldn't help but let out a derisive laugh. "He doesn't want Yeosang!"

San looked up at me, watery and confused.

"Well maybe he does," Seonghwa shrugged.

I shot Seonghwa a dirty look. He smiled in return.

"Okay fine, but that's not the point."

"What do you mean?" San's voice quavered.

"I mean," I took a seat in one of the chairs I had recently bought to replace the folding ones that usually stood in my living room, "that it's you who wants Yeosang. Wooyoung just picked up on it."

San's mouth opened, surprised. He worked it shut and open and shut a few times.

"Why don't you tell us exactly what Wooyoung said, hmm?" Seonghwa gently asked.

"He said… he said he wanted Yeosang to," San cleared his throat.

We waited.

"He wants Yeosang to fuck him," he finally admitted, "while I watch."

It was Seonghwa's turn to laugh. He immediately apologized, patting San's shoulder softly.

"Sorry," he laughed again, "really. Sorry."

I groaned, leaning back and making a decision.

"Sannie," I started, "I'm going to explain something. I don't really want to talk about it a lot though, okay?"

San nodded.

"You know that I'm bisexual, right?"

Seonghwa's eyebrows lifted, unsure about where I was about to go with this.

San's head tilted, eyebrows furrowing.

"Really?" His lips formed a pout, "I didn't know. But why is th-"

I waved a hand to cut him off.

"It's not important. But on top of that I…" I glanced at Seonghwa.

He was watching me, a single eyebrow lifted. Thanks to San still leaning against his chest, San missed the expression.

"I was, until recently, in a relationship with two people."

San's mouth dropped open. It stayed open this time.

Seonghwa had a strange expression on his face. I would have said it was unreadable, but I knew him better than that. It was a warning. Don't share too many details, puppy. That's what the expression was saying.

"You…" San started, then shook his head. "Did they… know? About each other?"

I nodded.

The room went quiet. San was obviously digesting the information. Seonghwa was busy boring into me with his eyes. I ignored it, knowing I was creating a discussion for myself. What did he want me to do? If I said or did anything in reaction, San would definitely put two and two together - regardless of how upset he was.

"So, what?" San finally spoke up, "what are you suggesting?"

I sighed, leaning forward to place a hand on his knee.

"San, you have held onto your feelings for Yeosang fo-"

"I don't have feelings for Yeosang!" He protested. He squirmed, freeing himself from Seonghwa's arm and standing up again. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Wooyoung is just offering you what you want," Seonghwa explained. "Although he may have miscalculated his approach."

"I don't want to watch Yeosang fuck my boyfriend!"

I glanced at Seonghwa, sharing a lifted eyebrow across the small living space.

"I thought he was just a machine?" I prodded.

"He's… I didn't… it's none of your business what he is to me!"

"If I had to guess," Seonghwa sat forward, crossing his legs to rest his arms against his knee, "Wooyoung didn't just pick up on your attraction to Yeosang…"

San started stuttering out protests, but Seonghwa just kept talking, pushing the conversation forward.

"He probably also picked up on your hesitancy and anxiety about it. He knows you want him, but won't let yourself have him."

I nodded, thinking it over. It was barely a secret between our group of friends and coworkers that San was hopelessly pining for Yeosang. If we could pick it up, Wooyoung - with his array of sensors that could pick up the most minute of changes in a person - would have had no problem noticing it.

"That makes sense," I agreed, "honestly his offer isn't half bad. He probably just didn't propose it properly."

=====

I'll have to admit, the following was shared with me exclusively by Wooyoung. I'm unsure if San knows that I know this. Overall, it doesn't really change anything about how things ended up. It does, however, show that San - for all his blustering mood swings - truly does have a caring heart.

Wooyoung swayed slightly, his booting up taking an extra moment. Typically, he was restarted in a seated position, or laying down. Starting up while standing made him take a few extra microseconds, as his system prioritized his balance before anything else.

He then took a brief moment to himself to review his memories.

Everything seemed to be where he had left it.

"Baby?"

He zoomed in, zoomed out, refocused. The voice was immediately in front of him. San came into focus, crisp as a granny smith apple and clear as crystal.

"You didn't wipe me."

Wooyoung could see the tears gather along San's lower eyelid, building up until the surface tension broke.

"I'm sorry baby," San whispered, reaching up to hold Wooyoung's face, "I should never have said that."

"You scared me Sannie."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I would never do that to you," more tears slid down San's cheeks, "you know that right?"

"You were so mad," Wooyoung replied simply, "I didn't know what you would do."

San let a full sob out, throwing his arms around Wooyoung and crying into his shoulder.

Wooyoung lifted his arms, holding San close.

"I'm so sorry baby. I really am. I would never wipe you! You're perfect right now. I was just so scared!"

"You still shouldn't have said it," Wooyoung admonished. He didn't think the time was quite right to forgive San. Not yet.

"I know! I won't baby. I'll never say it again, I swear!"

San stood up straight, once again taking Wooyoung's face into his hands.

"I was so scared," his voice cracked as he explained, "I thought you were tired of me. I thought you…"

His lips and chin quivered, betraying his efforts to keep from crying more.

Wooyoung leaned forward, kissing his cheek gently.

"I could never be tired of you, Sannie."

San pulled his face so that he could kiss him properly. He laid wet kisses against Wooyoung's lips between his words.

"I know."

Kiss.

"I love you baby."

Kiss.

"I need you."

Kiss.

"I love you."

Wooyoung stopped him from kissing him again.

"You're dehydrated Sannie. Let's get you some water."

San pouted, but let Wooyoung go.

Wooyoung made his way into the small kitchen, trailed by San. He got down a glass and filled it at the sink, all while San plastered himself to his back.

Wooyoung turned in San's arms, holding up the glass.

"Drink."

Obediently, San took the cup. He drained it and placed it on the counter next to Wooyoung.

"When did you last eat?"

San mumbled something, but Wooyoung knew what he needed. Internally, he placed an order.

"Food will be here in about half an hour," he said.

"You don't have to-"

"I already ordered," Wooyoung cut him off. "Now explain."

San blinked, like he had somehow forgotten about Wooyoung's wifi connection. He shook his head and sighed.

"When you mentioned Yeosang…" he paused, as if he was unsure about what to say. "I thought you wanted to leave me."

A few pieces slid into place for Wooyoung.

"But you love Yeosang."

"No, baby," San shook his head again, "I love you."

"I know. But you also love Yeosang."

San stared at him.

"You don't have to choose. I just thought you might feel better about it if it was all three of us."

San didn't say anything for a solid minute. He just stood there, staring at Wooyoung like he didn't know if he wanted to kiss him or force him to power down again.

"Three?" Was all he managed to say once he eventually got his voice working again.

Wooyoung nodded.

"But…"

San visibly gulped.

Wooyoung waited.

"If you knew… why would you…"

Wooyoung lifted a hand to San's cheek, an attempt at encouragement.

"Why would… you said…"

"Why would you only watch?" Wooyoung offered.

San nodded vigorously, glad to not have to say it himself.

"Well," Wooyoung shrugged slightly, slipping his hand slightly lower so it could rest at the base of San's throat. He ran his thumb back and forth against San's adam's apple - multi-tasking at monitoring his heart rate, and slowly adding a sexual edge to the moment.

"Well?" San whispered, trembling slightly under Wooyoung's touch.

Wooyoung's thumb came to a stop, opposite his fingers on San's throat. Gently, just enough to make San's eyelids flutter, he tightened his hold on San's neck.

"Do you think you deserve to touch Yeosang?"

=====

I want to note that at this point in the video review, I stopped the recording and turned to Wooyoung.

"San requested that you be submissive."

Wooyoung shrugged, "things change."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to wrap my head around this development.

"I programmed you to be a sub, albeit a bratty one."

Wooyoung tilted his head, flashing me a smile that made my stomach churn.

That smile should not have been possible. I knew the countless rotors and joints that made up the structure of Wooyoung's face. They could not produce what I was seeing.

"And Seonghwa programmed me to be proactive."

I blinked, not sure if I liked the information I was receiving.

"And we both know how good Seonghwa is at getting others to be more…" Wooyoung hummed, as if thinking of the correct word, "authentic."

He leaned in, lowering his voice as he kept that impossible smile on his face.

"Don't we? Pup?"

=====

Suffice to say, Wooyoung was essentially using San's degradation kink as a tool to ease him into the poly situationship they have going on now.

I still don't know exactly what Seonghwa did to his code. Wooyoung stopped letting me work on him. He says he prefers Seonghwa's contributions, though I still don't know where Hwa learned to do it. I have caught a glimpse of the work though.

It was unrecognizable. It looked like some language I've never seen. I don't mean coding language either. I couldn't tell you what alphabet it uses anymore. It looked like Klingon or something.

As for San… well… he's still a loser. You can tell him I said that. Wooyoung still runs that site, which now features Yeosang, in addition to San, more times than not. I'll openly admit that I still tune in from time to time. More out of morbid curiosity than any sort of erotic urges. It's a gooey window into the mental health of one of my more fragile friends.

Look, we all know things we'd rather not about the people we care about. I just get my information from a live feed sometimes. There's no shame in caring.

=====

Ateez Masterlist

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netherworldpost · 7 months

Note

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but how do you get started working in, as you said, weird quasi-startups?

This is a history retelling, not advice, because the world I came up in doesn't exist anymore. I'm in my 40s and started in the '90s.

If you skim over all of this WATCH THE VIDEO AT THE END HERE IS A LINK TO SAID VIDEO IT IS A CONDENSED VERSION OF IT from a local design firm.

The video is not a rick roll. This one is though.

Now I hope you can trust me. This is a long post. I'll use HACKERS to break it up.

I have no connection to Coudal.

Or Rick Astley.

I get into the nitty-gritty Small Scale Stuff

Jim Coudal gets into the nitty-gritty of the Medium-to-Large Scale Stuff... in 2011. The basics remain the same.

I am realizing in linking this that I don't think Coudal Partners exists anymore? I think they shifted their entire focus to Field Notes notebooks?

Anyway, still relevant.

(No -- 1994... and... maybe a bit earlier I can't remember that far back)

As I say -- this is history, not advice -- I'll try to pepper in some advice.

In some ways that's bad (Flash animation used to pay really well when weighed against what it took to learn how to do it).

In some ways that's good (things like Stripe and BigCartel and Shopify and MailChimp and Tumblr exist).

I was an anxious, studious kid really into mythology with very little access to it. I had access to the internet for about 6-8 hours a week, so scrambled to cram as much into my brain as I could. A reminder this is the early to mid 1990s.

I realized at some point that websites could be built without special tech. I explicitly remember seeing a web hosting company have a late night television ad on Conan O'Brian, offering a few megabytes of space free.

I learned HTML.

Then CSS launched, and I learned CSS.

(...yeah, this... this was the '90s)

From there I learned Macromedia Flash (later Adobe Flash) because it could do things I couldn't do with programming -- because of my own limitations, the web's limitations, free server limitations... etc.

I learned Flash the same way I learned HTML and CSS -- taking things apart to see how they worked, making my own stuff, breaking things down (and just breaking things)

At some point I was able to secure my own computer + internet and just hammered things constantly until I had a grasp of the basics.

So with that technical background...

"I am a web designer, do you need a website?" I would just offer up. Friends on forums, people in shops, a few cold calls that didn't work out great because I'm not a talkative person.

Just. Constantly. Networking.

Which is an accurate but kinda useless term, right?

"How does one network, does one just shove business cards into the face of everyone they meet and say 'I am a business person'"?

...yes.

Diners, comic shops, tattoo parlors, independent restaurants.

To illustrate the differences of when I started versus today -- any time I went somewhere that didn't have a website, I would ask the person behind the counter --

"Hey are you thinking about launching a website?"

When it wasn't the owner/manager at the counter and they would say something like "I just work here," I'd ask for the manager's contact info to follow up.

The success rate of "I ask" versus "I get money out of this" was maybe 1%. Just constantly asking, constantly trying to build the business books.

Never taking things personally when ghosted or just ignored or it fell through.

Cool but it's 2023/2024... so... the second half of my story may help.

I eventually gathered up enough clients and student loans to go to school for design. I have mixed opinions on this.

I had a few teachers who needed Extremely Cheap Intern-Level Labor and I was able to parlay my web experience into these opportunities.

I learned print design, branding, color theory, the basics of art in school.

I learned better business models by doing business and fucking up and getting burned and taking notes on how to fuck up less and get burned less the next go-round.

I applied for an ad agency job and hacked their website to rebuild it to show I could build websites and they were like "okay well we have to hire you now because we're in love with you / we fucking hate you"

(both emotions at the same time) (I worked there 11 months then went to grad school / see above art school link, it also applies)

Great thanks but maybe get back to advice?

I made things. I still make things.

Pins, buttons, shirts, bridge models, a chair, a lamp, I hired blacksmiths to learn about blacksmithing, I traded logos for beer, a theater company needed artwork so I engaged in a multi-prong trade of theater tickets and candy and / and / and / and with various other friends / clients / non-sense makers.

I made things and if people didn't have money to pay for them, I took some of their product.

Sometimes I paid other people with that product for things I needed, sometimes I paid with my labor for things I needed... etc.

Kept doing that until I could leverage skills acquired against people with money. Meeting them the same way.

"Hey who does your website?"

"Hey who does your menu design?"

"I like your logos, do you have someone working on your brochures? Oh you hate your logo? Okay to be honest... I was using that as an opening line. I hate it too. Want to chat about redoing it?"

I fucked up a lot. I got burned a lot. There was more success than failure so I was able to keep going.

Modern Day Translations

A lot of that will work -- build a portfolio, keep it updated, if someone mentions they are launching a whatever, chat with them -- but also look at freelance agencies.

If you work for trade, then scale the work offered for the product received. Don't be afraid to say "nope, out of scope."

People who will take +50% of the commission but help you find the commissions and handle the tax paperwork.

Ultimately, the basics are the same.

Make stuff. Put it into a portfolio.

Get comfortable introducing yourself.

Learn not to take rejection personally.

Keep going. The number of clients I would get on the first project discussion was probably 5-10%. It would take an average of 18-24 months, average, before I'd get money out of people. MEGA EMPHASIS -- A LOT OF -- MEGA EMPHASIS "hey remember me? I didn't have budget before, but now I do!"

By "make stuff" I mean.

Stuff.

(Things I have actually made)

Websites, blogs, writing, temporary tattoos, posters, ads, animations, plush toys, paintings, poems, books, rubber stamps, ads, grocery store packaging.

A whirlwind of stuff.

"That sounds expensive and difficult"

Yes. That's the bad news. There is no magic solution to it aside from "be careful with your time and cash and contracts and good luck."

I am not a soft person who is going to promise you everything is going to be okay and if you just work hard enough then things will work out and if you're talented enough then money and clients and business will come to you.

The brutal reality is it is going to be extremely difficult for as long as you do it and my #1 piece of advice is "constantly evaluate if you would find more happiness in a traditionally structured job doing weird stuff on the side."

It is absolutely possible to make a weird job.

It gets easier if you have financial support from family and/or a partner who will help you survive the lean times. I mention this in the spirit of honesty -- a lot of folks with weird jobs had/have one, or both.

In my opinion, this isn't talked about enough, and it leads to this mystic "This person must be doing well and I can't get off the ground, ergo something is wrong with me / my work / my process / my..." -- not necessarily.

Right, wrong, or indifferent -- some people have extra-to-their-personal resources help that allows them to make stuff. More, bigger, and/or faster.

I had the advantage of starting 30 years ago when the talent pool was smaller and harder to find and the work was harder to understand by people who were hiring.

Take what you have and try to make more of it being careful to spend as little as you can with it as it grows.

That's the essence of business.

Everything else is salad dressing.

SO MANY WORDS

I'll wrap up:

Start small and affordable

Figure out how to keep going when you want to stop but can keep going

Figure out how to stop when you want to keep going, but can't

Figure out how to start again when you have to stop

This isn't a moral or ethical dilemma -- it's business.

Cold, hard, ruthless business.

"Does it make sense to continue putting resources into this? Yes? Keep going.

"No? Pause.

"It never will make sense? Do this as a hobby, possibly an extensive and advanced hobby, possibly as 'this is my job in the sense I spend my resources here and the tasks I do for a company for money are life maintenance, on par with brushing my teeth."

Never work for free. Barter to a level mutual benefit.

If you want to work with other people, build a portfolio and keep it stocked with the stuff you want to do. Make up your own projects from literal scratch.

Most of the time, real work is better than personal work

BUT personal work is always better than no work.

This is cross-sectional -- if you want to make logos, it's better to show real work logos.

If you don't have any, make personal work logos and fold these into real work brochures, which you WILL DO but DONT WANT TO DO, as you build your logo business.

As your logo business builds up, replace real work logos + keep personal work logos and reduce brochures until you have enough (of either form) of logos to just have a logo portfolio.

Here is that video from Jim Coudal again talking about his (former?) design firm, Coudal Partners, and how it evolved to partner to create Field Notes

youtube

A final disclaimer:

I do not know Jim Coudal, I've never worked with him or FIeld Notes, they don't know I exist in any capacity. His projects are significantly larger than anything I have the appetite to tackle (I like small, weird things nearly exclusively)

This video + countless similar talks helped me build me up to where i am with advice, ideas, and the strength to get through the invariable weird / hard times.

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nokingsonlyfooles · 5 months

Text

To Do Today!

OK, I am gonna try to do laundry AND start reformatting the site. Obvs, one must do laundry. However, the site issues are more complicated.

Basically, WordPress is pushing out another interface change. The last major one was the block editor, that's taken years to be usable, and it still breaks sometimes. But it is more versatile than the old editor, so I get why they hafta. The new thing is some kinda universal site editor and last time I checked it was awful. You don't HAVE to use it, much like the block editor, but all the themes are scrambling to work with its new features. One of these is "global colours." My theme is really struggling with them. They keep changing, overriding my pathetic coding skills, and making things impossible to read. I either need a theme where the dang colours actually work, or one without global colours that's gonna stay that way. The former is slightly more likely.

I also have issues with ALL my custom blocks. You're supposed to be able to save a block and use it like a rubber stamp, forever, but the updates have left all of them coughing up errors. They'll usually stay legible unless I open the page they're on in the editor, and then all hell breaks loose. I need to figure if I'm going to update them all or simplify. I should probably simplify anyway, I think I get really annoying trying to make sure people understand me. Maybe that scares off potential readers?

So, first order of business, change the theme. That will change the whole look of the site, live, and it'll barely work until I find everything that broke and fix it. I'll also need to redesign the front page, and maybe the menus, header, footer, background - all kinds of stuff. When I've done that, I gotta go page by page and find/replace the blocks. That'll take me a few days. 😅I've found some more typos and errors to fix along the way too - including one major continuity error. (Mordecai doesn't seem to recognize someone he should, and I'm bringing that guy back way later, so I hadda add a couple words. It was a math thing. When I wrote it, I thought, "That can't be X it must be Y and he wouldn't know Y..." But when I went into my notes recently and added up the years, "Aw, crap, no, that MUST be X!")

They do say it's super important to know when to stop working on your art, lest you cough up a travesty like the Star Wars Special Edition that obliterates the original. I have obliterated the original, but parts of it needed to die. I've also over-edited in a lot of places - I'm trying to catch those and un-fix them! It's never going to be perfect. Even "real professionals" cough up typos and errors that go live and stay that way, but I have a real terror of being misunderstood and hurting someone. Even just confusing them. Anything that might make them not like me.

So, yeah, I gotta throw in some laundry and go kill my ego. And fix a website! Probably no feed for a while, at least not until I get frustrated and need a break.

Ah, yes, and Patreon still hasn't deleted my data so I'm yelling at them. I'm not going to worry about setting up at Ko-Fi until I'm ready to publish the next six, but I'll keep you posted. I took down my page and I didn't want to charge you for January, so check your records, my few supporters. If they charged you anyway, you need to yell at Patreon too.

#tin soldier and soldier on #updates

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fatummortem · 2 months

Text

Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ��ɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Erm.. Let's see... Just skip to a muse lol.

Rosie, a friend suggested her some twenty years ago for this elite comic book RP guild. She's the only one I kept from that time. I never heard of her before that & when I read her I remember saying 'she's such an angsty little shit. I love her.'. Her background is like casebook 'what happens if you have a poor support system' in a way.

Ryouta (daken/fang canonly), well he's that guilty pleasure villain everyone enjoys reading about for me I suppose. In another way I get curious about nurture vs nature. Which is something intertwined with his chara i think. (it's a dark past) What inspired me to write him, well he had a slow progression away from his villainess nature you could say. And I am a sucker for growth. It was his appearance's in All New Wolverine that made me go 'oh i'm going to write him'.

Somnus somehow turns stabby villains into teddy bears and i thought it was hilarious.

Bobby, well I wanted a silly gay polyamorous muse & I had been itching to write him for awhile but at the same time wanted to write with a Bobby more so held off. Gave in about a year back i think?

Malicia, well she's pretty AU of one of my favourite comic charas growing up. And well I'm a tad nervous writing her main verse so I just did something with a twist for fun.

TJ I've written a few times over the years. Normally when a friend has me going 'Hell yeah!'. One time I believe a friend was making a Blink (the bestie). This time around I started talking to a few friends about her & then got to talking with Armin about her relationship with her dad. A similar thing happened with Billy. I ended up bringing him back after talking with a friend who writes his twin Tommy. As for originally, I sadly do not recall.

Cloud, well as I said i'm a sucker for growth & his story is full of it. I also enjoy picking apart ways people display or write PTSD & show how it can be displayed in society or be a danger creatively. I also have PTSD, which can range on my reactions to things depending on my environment. So in a way it's one of the ways I learn about myself. Though his mental state has more of a twist to it as he has the lifestream & Jenova influences. Which can come across as confusing as it can seem similar to different forms of DID.

I also have a disability involving memory and memory issues brought on from trauma. So it kinda pulled me in more, I normally don't write muses that are popular to write or I lose the want to write them quickly. Which is not the case with Cloud, he's my rule or norm breaker. (might be why I'm not writing Tifa or Zack tho I'll be honest)

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Erm *nibbles pen* flat out don't like? Random bits of rage filling arguments. Thought that's mostly when Anons do it. Mainly for the fact it doesn't go anywhere. I prefer my angst long lasting & with the ability to have a back & forth.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

There's a lot of things. Slow burns. Small bits of seriousness that leads to progression of a relationship (friendship or ship). Crack seriousness (threads where you have to squint to see the crack), Smut (picky with that), Angsty pain, healthy ships, snarky *jazz hands* ships, Silly friend/fam moments. etc...

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

^_^; So I have the habit, of writing detailed notes & accumulate data (websites, youtube videos, games/comics what have you). I normally write detailed dossiers but lately they turn into 10+ page essays so I've been slapping on wiki pages. Clouds is mostly how his mental state is, how it works & alters along with a lot of lore on locations and Materia to help myself & it's mostly jumbled quick notes with no flow. yeah i just went 'i'll put this over here for later'.

But I basically bury myself within a segment of lore to work it through my head a few times. Then I try to see if I can make it fit into how I feel I'd like to write the muse. Comics can be a bit tricky because there's no mainline writer or books get canceled, one writer makes what another put in place meaningless.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Both! it really depends on my mood, if i'm into the music if my muse wants to jam so on so forth...

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

Both! It depends. For close connections or like someone that might be someone mine knows I can ask peeps questions to get an idea of a same flow or idea going. Other times I'll wing it entirely while some i'll just give a brief info dump and ask if someone down for it. Then there's plotting while the thread is being written just to throw out ideas or okay things. There's also the excitement of eating popcorn just because I'm wondering if it'll turn tortuously cute or like a thriller in the next few goes depending on what's going on. xD

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I love ships ^_^ especially when ya talk hcs or just build upon things slowly. I have a weakness for slow burns ^_^;

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

I'm Glow, lovely to meetcha. ^_^

ᴀɢᴇ?

My siblings went to see ET in the movie theatre when I was born.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

June 18th.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

The shade black, any shade of purple tho normally lavander, any shade of blue, a few shades of red.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

It actually alters over time so it's hard to tell. Currently have 'let it snow' stuck in my head if that counts.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Uh, went with a friend to see Elementals awhile back

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Murder Drones or Hazbin Hotel? Kiddo is heavily into them right now & I try to get into her fandoms

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

the Alexa at work has the habit of throwing on death metal when I'm there so idek.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Mmmmm, Gumbo but not that northern watered down gumbo the Cajun one where you wheeze and shove bread in your mouth after a few spoonful's. ohhhh homemade Cheesecake with pralines crushed into the bottom layer & drizzled over the top. Mongolian grill with crab & steam mixed heavily with veggies & my own sauce cocktail. Red beans & rice but not the cheap ass sausage, ya need the good stuff or it tastes wrong. Slow cooked in a way where the-- ya shouldn't ask a cook about food.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Rainy Summers

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

I doo~ Does it count if most of them aren't around anymore? I have a few here abouts too.

Tagged by: @lastflowerpetal

Tagging: I never know who's been tagged already, so if you wish to just tag me in it so I can take a gander. ^_^

#!!!!#thankies ^_^#mun stuff #dash games #mun meme

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numetaljackdog · 1 year

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Pepsi Can Designs Ranked

as you may have noticed i'm very into soda and beverage containers in general, and i've had pepsi on the brain for a few days so here's my ranking of every can design they have listed currently on their website. i'm sure there's been like a million others through the years and years that pepsi has been a thing, but it's just for fun and i'm not gonna make a list that's a full book long

13. Nitro Pepsi Vanilla

really don't care for the color scheme here. i get that it's meant to be the color of vanilla but it's just not the kind of shade i want to see on my soda can, y'know? it's giving pilk. big pilk vibes here. and the spray-paint logo doesn't pop, especially not when it's only the blue without the red. maybe the biggest nail in nitro vanilla's coffin, though, is those big ugly brass-colored block letters. yuck

12. Diet Pepsi Wild Cherry

diet pepsi already has this ugly tin color that doesn't exactly appeal the appetite, and all the additional detail here is like putting a lipstick on a pig. except the lipstick somehow made the pig uglier. the flowing red on the top and the bubble detailing just does not work with this backdrop, and their simplicity really becomes painfully evident when there's nothing else to occupy your eyes

11. Pepsi Caffeine Free

sigh. i wanted to like her, but i just don't. it feels so metallic but in the wrong way, reminding me more of a cavity filling than a winner's medal. this is a case where i actually wish they had used detailing instead of just coating the thing in a (surprisingly rather dull) gold sheen. what might have been...

10. Diet Pepsi

once again, it's just dull. soda is meant to be a fun drink, something that pops out at you in the grocery aisle. i guess maybe if you're drinking diet you may not agree, but either way this just looks like a dog food tin. here, i'm glad they didn't do any detailing, but it still just leaves it looking sad :(

9. Pepsi Zero Sugar Mango

has a lot of the good elements of both classic pepsi zero sugar and pepsi mango, but ends up being less than the sum of its parts. orange works with black since just about anything works with black, but it lacks any real sense of synergy between the colors. don't care for the bubble detailing over the more subtle black background, either; i get that it's there to give some more visual excitement but basically i just wish they'd use some other type of detailing lol

8. Pepsi Zero Sugar Wild Cherry

basically all the same issues as zero sugar mango but i like red and black as a match better than orange and black. moving on!

7. Nitro Pepsi

now we're starting to get somewhere. still suffers from some of the problems as vanilla, but that deep blue color is gorgeous, and works nicely as an allusion to the blue of classic pepsi without ripping from it directly. i don't even mind the details as much here, because at least they pop more against the colored background. white against blue is far better than blue against off-white. still don't love the spray-paint style logo, though

6. Pepsi

something to be said for the classics, eh? it's a lovely shade of blue, really, with a tasteful metallic trim and a halfway decent version of the logo. we could complain about the modern lowercase logo, but it's not like many of these other varieties are offering much as an alternative. except...

5. Pepsi Real Sugar

mostly the same as classic, same blue, same logo. obviously the text logo is different, but i'll be honest this is not one of the logos i'm sentimental for. at least it has some swagger though! now let's be real - the big draw here is the slopes at the top. see how they're shorter than the other cans? those are the bony hips of a lady with a harsh, narrow, boyish frame. and we love her for it

4. Pepsi Wild Cherry

(sorry some of these images are kinda fucked up lol, i'm trying to find ones that match the specific designs on the website)

ultimately just pepsi classic with some extra pizzazz. the red flow detail at the top is like an extension of the red in the logo. not too much to say, just a slightly snazzy option

3. Diet Pepsi Caffeine Free

ohh pretty pretty girl. this is what regular caffeine free wishes it could be. a nice delicate pure white background that doesn't need any detailing because it has that tasteful gold trim and elements of the logo. it maybe feels a little overly clean, but not in a sickening way. the design really makes me believe that this drink is gonna be refreshing. what a sweetie :)

2. Pepsi Zero Sugar

call me edgy but i'm just a sucker for darker black palettes. keeping it simple here: just a black can with the logo and some white text telling you what makes it special. it's purposefully low effort. it doesn't need to try any harder because it knows it has already done everything it came to do without breaking a sweat

1 . Pepsi Mango

complimentary colors? how fucking revolutionary!! look at that blue and orange palette - now THAT'S synergy! the bubble detailing is perfect here, although i wish it extended into the orange section. also a problem i have with basically all the fruit variants is that they just kinda slap a jpg of the fruit in the corner of the logo. could have tried to make the mango look like the circular logo or something fun like that. in any case, this is my favorite of all of these; it's bright but not blinding, knows how to use its colors, and just overall strikes a brilliant balance that's appealing in each and every way it needs to be!

that's all! now time to see if tumblr will let me post something with this many images 😓 thanks 4 reading!!

#*char noises*#long post #i don't have a can talk tag yet... i guess i have the gallery tag but that's for finds. idk i'll decide if i even feel like it #also i'm aware i'm basically just like. advertising for pepsi rn. so i'd like to remind everybody #that corporations are a fucking blight on this planet and should be eradicated #and besides i haven't tried like basically any of these besides classic so i offer no insight into their quality ok

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year

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💥 and 🌕 for any or all WIPs you have!

'Any or all' you say! I'll answer this for multiple, just because I can. Project names in bold are the tags I use for these ones if you want to look them up (and also feel free to ask me about them!), some more talked of than others.

💥 - What is the main conflict of the wip?

taira - The danger of the dragon rising is becoming more and more prominent, especially once Taira the white rabbit exists. Taira and her friends are trying to stop it from happening. [drafted and unedited]

knitting oc - Patience is angry that she has a new adopted sister, and the main focal point of the story is really them getting to know each other and getting along. Two fun facts: one, Patience is one of my older OCs who I've recently realised is unintentionally autistic, and two, that whole story is heavily inspired by Dear Enemy, only platonic and whatnot. [partially planned]

vaniah - Arranged marriage happens (well, to simplify), and they - already good friends - have to work out how to get along in a marriage. Also Emily discovers how terrible Vaniah's self-esteem is, and also many terrible things he's done she never knew about. They kinda pull each other out of their problems in a way. The conflict is much more internal than anything else. [drafting rn]

adira - Adira trying to work out the truth of the world and how it was created and who God is, really. More complicated than that but it can truly be summed up into What is truth? [much draft but mess]

story:wcb - a short story (well, currently 23k and expected to get more like 25k I think by the time I'm finished the final round of editing). The main conflict is that Miriam and Edward are trying to work out what happens after you die. Because (spoilers) Miriam hasn't got long to live. So there are lots of emotions and things. I never meant to get attached to Miriam as a character tbh - she's a background character already deceased by the time Edward appears in Adira's story. But when I was brainstorming short stories surrounding Adira's, this was one of the stories that came to mind pretty quickly. [on second-last round of edits]

story:hiraeth - another short story (13k, from memory), this one dealing with a crisis of faith of a completely different character, after her father loses his faith. It's an extremely personal story to me, as it deals with what I went through (not entirely the same, of course) after two of my siblings (a couple of years apart) lost their faith. [on second-last round of edits]

judastale - a novel still in the planning stages, which I'd intended to write next but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being my nanowrimo project, since vaniah jumped the gun and I started writing it earlier than I intended to xD It's a Bible-based novel about Judas, from a somewhat sympathetic viewpoint, but - of course - ultimately a tragedy. I intend to remain faithful to the Biblical account, but to add in things to make it human and - yes, if I do it right I expect to end up crying over Judas Iscariot. So far I've written a short prologue and nothing more until I get my notes in order; I really might just wait until November and write it then. [planning]

inklings - I originally began to write this as a short story for the Inklings Challenge, for which I was part of Team Lewis during October last year, using an old OC from when I was in year 10 (who is one of the other 'huh she's autistic' characters lol). The story revolves around Hadassah finding a place for herself in the world, really, but she also goes through a portal to a new world during the story. I've written 8k so far, and she's just gone through the portal and beyond that I've basically stopped because I need to do more planning of what happens beyond the portal. I wrote two shorter stories, one of which is available both here and on my website under two different titles I think lol and the other I'm not yet happy with; both were to submit to fairly local competitions, and surprisingly both were commended in their competitions. I'll probably post the other at least to my website at some point. This story is very dear to my heart; though it started out entirely different, it was directly written when I was in year 10 as a coping mechanism because I didn't have many friends and I couldn't understand why I didn't and why I was always the forgettable one. I still don't understand it entirely, but I've got more used to it, and found more friends who don't forget about me. (And friends who get annoyed by me as well as being friends, but that's just life I suppose.) [partly written and planning]

"Do I have any other wips really right now? Ah yes that other one - nope that's nonfiction and wouldn't suit this question. And that other one - wait no that's literally tagged secret project for a reason. What about that one - silly silly I haven't even opened the Scrivener file for months even though I have edits waiting for it, I can't call it a wip at present."

I couldn't see an emoji matching the second one you sent... feel free to either give me a different emoji or clarify which one you wanted, sorry!

Ask me to elaborate on anything of what I've mentioned above if you like!

#ask #thanks for the ask!#catkin rambles #taira #knitting oc #vaniah #adira #story:wcb #story:hiraeth #judastale #inklings #i acutally considered reforming hadassah's story into something similar to how it started out as instead of this completely different story #but i had already considered that i dont think im good enough at writeing an unreliable narrator #feel free to ask me anything about these #oh huh i don't even have a tag for the one i haven't touched in months with edits waiting. interesting

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ashtonisvibing · 9 months

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considering i'm now moving ALL my og stuff (drawings and writings) over to here, figured i should say that i happily take drawing and writing requests! free of charge cuz i have no way of receiving the money! (i also just never wanna turn my art into my work)

i really just do art for the markiplier/jacksepticeye egos + sanders sides so i guess that's the stuff i'll take requests for, as well as ocs- mine or yours. can you tell i've never set up something like this before?? this is the biggest "just in case" post i've made (biggest as in "there is an extremely small chance of someone sending in a request but just in case")

i won't accept requests for sex art cuz... i dunno, i'd rather get requests for fluffy stuff. with drawing i'll also take gore and stuff. just don't expect it to be the greatest cuz stick limbs!

general rules:

don't use my art for anything. in general. well, kinda. you can use my art for profile/tech customization (as a background, an icon, etc.). but reposting to other medias, putting it into any ai program, stealing and selling it to other websites is a hard no. if you request something, obviously with proper credit you can repost it since it's now yours! but- still no ai cuz fuck ai, and no selling it cuz i won't get any of those profits.

......... that's actually kinda it tbh since i already said "no nsfw requests" up there. i dunno why i tried turning it into a list

my intro post will be edited with a better worded... this, i just figured it'd be best to make a separate post first so people know.

so um... see ya!

#ashton is talking #and obviously if you wanna just send general questions about my fanon egos/sides please do cuz i love chatting about my blorbos :3

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crowpocrypha · 2 years

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Basil: I really love the new batman movie, batman is so hot

Me, physically repressing the Batman 2022 rant I've been seething in since I saw the movie: yeah, we think it's okay.

Spoilers for the movie:

Have the Rant anyway:

I genuinely feel bad when I tell people I don't like the film, because it seems so well received. I was so excited for this riddler, I was like "Oh I can't wait for riddler to be a big main antag!"

Then he got the Arkham Knight Scarecrow treatment. (By which I mean functionally he's just a secondary villain who hangs out in the background, but at least in AK scarecrow was, in some way, directly involved with nearly all of the subplots)

I'll avoid the Selina talk.

To be honest, I think it could have made a decent film, if they refined it and made it tell one story instead of what- three sub plots and an overarching narrative that probably only consumes about an hour of the film? Maybe it's the recording situation due to the mandates during production, but the film seems really unedited. It felt like kind of an unrefined narrative.

It's like they took a book, cut most of it, but didn't edit it to melt together seamlessly.

I really really wanted to like the movie, i remember getting out of the theater and feeling really indifferent about the film. I thought, "Maybe I'll digest it a bit, and then maybe I'll like it."

And then I digested it for a few days and realized:

"Wow. Okay. I hated that movie, but why?"

At first I thought it was the Selina Kyle thing, and then, no maybe it's the lack of riddler thing; After that, oh maybe it's the forced theme--

And then I realized: "OH. ITS ALL OF THOSE THINGS."

I desperately wanted to find something good, and I even visited the website before I saw the film, did the riddles and I FELT riddler in those riddles. Cocky, obnoxious, those words DRIPPING in narcissistic superiority. I watched the video, I was ecstatic.

Then, I saw the movie. I walked out, and I didn't like it.

I guess I probably hyped up the movie too much for myself, playing a narrative I actually enjoyed in preperation, indulging in the media that I was expected to induldge in after the film--

Then I got to the film, and it s u c k e d. To me, it sucked.

It felt boring, dry, and negligent to characters I love.

The character I liked the most in the whole movie? Penguin. PENGUIN. He gets maybe 7 minutes of screentime.

He comes off as the closest to penguin to me. I was thrilled to get a sadistic crazy riddler, a real serial killer kind of scary.

Instead, I got an edgier AK riddler without the robot army served to me with the hype of a slasher villain.

I KINDA EXPECTED SLASHER RIDDLER.

(Honestly, I probably would have loved shitty slasher riddler more)

I expected the film to be more like My Bloody Valentine meets Noir Detective.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic, so, rant over! Congrats! I hope I didn't piss you off too much. I'm just disappointed in the film. I have nothing against the cast, writers, or the director, I'm sure they had a really neat vision.

The execution and the marketing just didn't match up.

Honestly, if I'd opted to not avoid the trailers and spoilers or leaks, I probably wouldn't have gone to see the movie.

Thank 5 reading xoxo

#dc #the batman 2022 #rant #batman #riddler #catwoman #penguin

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chaoslynx · 2 years

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Hi! I'm curious, what's your art process like? I want to maybe learn some ways to learn better :') /gen /pos

Oh gosh, being asked this when I'm such a beginner is a little terrifying, but I'll try my best to answer!

Well, you see, my art process is quite complex but it all boils down to one thing: Ash Lynx. /j

Seriously though, here's kind of what I do! You can also see a timelapse of one of my first attempts at digital painting here on my Instagram (on the second slide)! I use a Wacom Intuos Small size tablet, and CSP on my laptop.

My first step is usually (not always) picking a reference. A couple of my pieces (like this one!) aren't from reference, but most are. I usually use stock photo websites like Unsplash to find references!

Say this is my reference. My first lines on the paper are to create a rough sketch based on it! Some of these end up rougher than others, but here's what my sketch looked like based on this image:

(Honestly, this is one of my nicer first sketches. Some of them are way rougher.) You can see that I didn't really want to deal with hands yet lol, so I kind of just roughed out where they are. Sometimes on the first sketch I'll rough out hair too, or other times I'll leave it like this.

If I'm trying a painting style, I make a more detailed first sketch, but skip the lineart step and go straight to color. I'm gonna discuss more about my lineart style here since I have more experience with it, but check out that Instagram post I linked to see kinda how I do painting!

Then I turn the sketch blue and do my lineart over it! Feel free to deviate from the sketch if things aren't working out. I often do lineart on several layers; like here, the eyes are on their own layer, as are the hands and camera. I think I overuse layers, though, so that's not for everyone lol. Here's what my final lineart looks like over the sketch!

Don't be afraid to redo lineart over and over. Sometimes I'll be like "maybe it'll look better with color!" and it never does 😭 So lineart is really important! It took SO many attempts to get his hands right on this one. I had the reference image open on my phone and was trying to draw pretty close to how the model in the stock image had her hands on the camera.

Next I hide the sketch layer and do flat colors. Sometimes I'll use the bucket tool for this, but a lot of times it doesn't work super well and I'll just color them in myself. Again I seriously overuse layers, so usually each flat color has its own layer. For black hair I usually switch the color wheel to blue, then pick something on the darker and grayer side.

Next up is lighting and shading! I have different strategies for this depending on the piece. Sometimes I use clipping layers over each color layer and just shade with the original color, shifted slightly on the color wheel. (I've been told not to shade in gray!)

For this one, though, I used a multiply layer for shading and an add glow for lighting. I knew I wanted to have a brick background, so I used an orangey-red color for the shading and lighting. I wanted my light coming from the upper left, so I kept that in mind. Then I lower the opacity on both until it looks decent! Here's with and without the lowered opacity. On this one I blended the shading and lighting layers in quite a bit, because I wanted it to look kind of soft.

On this one I also added blushies on his nose, ears, cheeks, and lips. I added a highlight on Eiji's hair (also on an add glow layer clipped to the hair color layer). I also put details into Eiji's eyes to make them sparkle! Here's zoomed in on his face so you can see the changes:

I added details on the camera to make it look a little more reflective and less boring, and to draw some attention to it.

For the background, I put a layer under Eiji and made it the dark red color I wanted. Then I put the bricks over it, blurred them, and reduced the opacity.

On this one I wanted the background to have kind of a grimy but ethereal effect, so I drew cracks along the bricks with reduced opacity, and drew specks of orange on an add glow with a really reduced opacity. I also added another lighting layer in front of Eiji but not clipped to him for the background lighting. Then I just added a noise layer with super reduced opacity, and put my watermark on it with an overlay layer!

Here's how the final piece turned out:

I hope this is helpful! I've only been drawing for a few months so I definitely have a lot to learn still. Let me know if you have any questions. (That's open to anyone!) Also if anyone has advice for me and/or this anon, I'm sure we'd both appreciate that! 💖💖💖

#answers #anon #art

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mowisha · 3 years

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Project # 1: Portfolio Site and Blogsite Theme

Stage 1: Illustrations (09-30-21)

here's a quick timelapse. my photoshop actually failed multiple times when I was doing this vector but eh, everything worked out in the end. I know that I should've Adobe Illustrator and saved it as SVG, but I don't have the application and I'm not familiar with AI that much huhu. PNG will do for now.

Stage 2: Prototype and Layout Design (09-30-21)

Creating the UI Design on Figma. I've been loving the color green lately so I decided to use it as the primary color for my site! Made the prototype for mobile and tablet viewing as well, including dark mode (which i won't be doing btw)

Stage 3: CODING -- HTML (10-04-21)

Got distracted for the next 4 days (smh!) But I started coding the site today. Looking pretty good

Stage 4.0: CSS and Responsiveness -- Header Section (10-05-21)

I implemented using SASS for this site for the first time ever and it made coding the CSS sososososo much easier!

I spent a lot of time making sure that everything looks nice in every size of the screen! Making the page responsive was what took me a lot of time to finish this section because this will be the first time that I was gonna make a responsive website. Turned out okay, I'm kinda proud of it! 💕

Also, ended up using Haikei for the back wavy SVG background. I liked this one better :) Also learned that there was something called aspect-ratio, took me a lot of time to understand this because I didn't search about it lmao. Trial and error for the sizing!

Stage 4.1: Portfolio Section (10-06-21)

I forgot to record the trouble I had with aligning the contents in the 'portfolio' section but I spent a lot of time trying to align them every time I resize the screen. Turns out, I just had to add one line of code haha. You learn something new every day

Ended up not following the prototype for this section. The original plan was for a box to appear every time I hover the image but realized that how will that work on mobile? So I ended up following this tutorial instead!

Stage 4.2: About and Toolbox Section (10-06-21) (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Spent HOURS trying to get this right, I even made a box model to follow but none of it worked lmao. I ended up putting everything on the trash and went to sleep hahaha

(10-07-21) ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ) -- Ended up using this code from StackOverflow hahaha.

Stage 4.4: Contact and Footer Section (10-12-21)

A/N: Okay I know, I slacked off for the past 5 days before continuing this project but I got a new dog, got vaccinated, enjoyed my last few days in this town, and I've planned what I was gonna do with my life this month since I'm moving back to Baguio in a week. Life has been uhhhh asdasdas. Oh and I've been watching mechanical keyboard vids for more hours than I really should instead of working my shit together. Anyway...

I also had a hard time aligning this huhu I'm really sorry for being a noob and being a slow coder but yep! Done! Although the contact form doesn't actually work lmao. Apparently, I need to have a backend but I'm too lazy for that huhu.

Stage 4.5: Darkmode (10-13-21)

Tried to do this but I had a hard time aligning the dark/day mode logo on the right and for it to appear whenever the size gets smaller. I know I gave up too soon but I just want this project to be over, it has taken me too long. I'll save this part for next time, I'm sorry.

So yeah, things to improve:

+ dark mode + contact form

Bonus Stage:

I actually made this the other day while I was procrastinating at coding hahaha. So I think I'll be working on this tomorrow so I can finally make this blog public to everyone.

Kind of the same layout, but still different? Ya feel me, fam? I will also be changing the logo and links to handwritten PNGs to make it feel more personal yknow

Update (06-30-22)

Update: Took a break for how many months, because I moved to a new city, adjusted, focused on work and making extra incomes, and doing my hobbies huhu but I'm back!

I did design a new website to add to my portfolio earlier this year on Figma but ended up halting it, too because I volunteered for 2 months to campaign for VP Leni for presidency. She ended up not winning and it did hurt a lot but at least I met a lot of new people and I'm proud to say that I stood my ground and fought for what I believe is right. It definitely was a time of my life. ANYWAY!!! Back to the website.

I actually started a few days ago, but I updated my Sass because apparently, the one that I was using hasnt been updated for 3 years now. Anyway, Sass stopped working and I had to use @use and @forward but I wasted a olot of time trying to fix it so I decided to stop using Sass and just transfer everything to regular CSS. My website worked again. Took me time to adjust with the syntax of CSS again, and I think I'll just stay and use pure CSS this time to avoid confusion and easy implementation between html, css, and javascript.

Goods news, again. I fixed the typewriting effect and dark/light mode!

Other than the contact form that's not really working, I'm basically done, I just need to add more to my portfolio site and I'll put this site on live and I'm gonna use tumblr to host it. :) Next project is to code this blogsite so I can link it on my portfolio and social media!

Stage 5: Coding the Blogsite (July 4-5, 2022)

OH MY GOD AAAAA. I know I've been putting this project on the side for almost a year now. I've wasted so many months because I just didn't have the motivation because I thought I couldn't do them but I get to finish them in a span of like 1-2 days. Why do I doubt myself so much, I have so much potential. Anyway, this blogsite is now live and I'm so happy about it. I'll make a separate post for it.

Next step is convert the codes for my portfolio site so it can be rendered by tumblr again, connect my other project designs to the portfolio corner and probably apply for a company and (HOPEFULLY???) finally get hired!!

I'm still contemplating whether to move to Mania for office word or just stick to WFH because I really don't wanna waste so much time on traffic in the city. I'm blabbering now. Goodbye hahaha

#projects

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lunlvns · 3 years

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#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Tagged by @leonzhng and @yiling-recesses thank you sm for tagging me!!! 🥰 i did the yibo gfx one, sorry mimi i lost all photoshop files for the genshin edit you mentioned, like i literally can;t find them lmao 😅 but the process is pretty much the same as this!

tagging:

@theghostvalley for this set - i love your colouring, your gifs always look so quality!!

@claudiablack for this set - your colouring is always stunningly gorgeous and i'm just blown away how well the colours work together in this set??

@runqings for this set - i love the scene choices and the colouring is beautiful as well!

0. Software

photoshop (cc 2015 when making the yibo edit but currently 2021)

topaz clean + denoise

after effects cc 2020

1. Planning

whenever i do an animation gfx i usually always write a notepad for what i plan to do - ideas, the animations, aesthetic etc

also cos i have no idea about web design i subscribed to some webdesigner websites and checked sites like awwwards for popular/trending website design features + i've gotten quite into the aesthetics and animations of websites now!

after i have a basic plan for what all the panels are gonna include, i find and download all the images i need, so for the yibo website that was all his magazine covers, pics of his albums + drama posters, other pics of him + pics of the cast and their characters for legend of fei

then i trawl through color schemes trying to find one i like, tho with website gfx the predominant colour has to be white otherwise the gifs will end up being too large/super grainy/photoshop will mess with the colours so they aren't the same anymore 😩

2. Creation

i design all the panels in photoshop first which is the longest step in all this cos i'm super indecisive and don't usually have a clear idea in mind for what it should look like 😅

i'll only focus on the actor panel cos otherwise this would be wayyy too long - i resized, coloured, denoised + sharpened the yibo pics so they matched more then added a mask to make the corners more round, chose a font for the txt and added it to the bottom

then i decided the layout for the rest of the elements + just like the yibo pics, i edited + resized + masked the drama posters, character + actor pics, then added the name txt + a low opacity bg for the txt so it's easier to read

finally i individually save all the elements (either alone if it's gonna move alone or with other elements if they'll move together) as a png with no background so i can load them into after affects ready to animate

after that i import all the pngs to after effects (i lost all the yibo website after effects saves cos of a hard drive reformat 😢 so i'll use my recent zzh website saves to illustrate instead)

the first thing i animated was the circle pics - just a scale animation with overshoot at the end

then the rotating circle txt - first i made the txt layer follow a circle path then i placed it where i wanted it to end up, added a keyframe for all the properties i'm going to animate, backtrack on the timeline however long i want the animation to be, add a new keyframe to all the chosen properties, reduced the scale + changed the position so it was hidden behind the picture, then changed the rotation so it would rotate continually for as long as it would appear

then i made the kinda wobbly circle animation?? on mouse over - the zzh pics are actually larger than shown, they just have a circle shape layer above them which i set as an alpha matte so only what's within that circle is shown

first i increase the scale of the shape layer alpha matte so more of the zzh pic is revealed + change the position slightly so the txt circle isn't completely covered, for these keyframes i also adjust the easing on them to make the speed of the animation slower at the beginning + end and faster in the middle

then i added a wiggle paths + wave warp effect, made a keyframe with the settings i wanted to change on zero then went forward in the timeline for the duration, added a new keyframe and adjusted the settings on the effects till i was happy with how the wobbly animation looked

after that pretty much just copied + reversed the keyframes for the animation to go back to normal then animated the same thing for the next zzh pic

i'll stop there cos i feel like this is already super long 😅 but if anybody is looking into using after effects + wants to know more?? you can just message me if you want, if you have any questions or anything!

when i've finished all the animations i'll check how the whole thing looks and make any final adjustments, then render it to make it a video

final step i import the video into photoshop, check it through there, change any of the frame timings if necessary and save it as a gif

3. Posting

i save the gfx set in drafts first to check how all the panels look together then add the gradient txt caption using jsfiddle

then i add the tags and schedule it to be posted at 10pm the same day

#showyourprocess #tagged

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adultingautistic · 4 years

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I'll block out sounds when it gets too overwhelming with music using headphones but I'm kinda worried about damaging my ears with having it too loud especially on the bus cause my phone sound doesn't go high enough without being above the recommended level. Also sometimes adding the music can just cause it to be more overwhelming but without it it's overwhelming in like a bad way so.

I completely relate to this. I also will turn my headphones up to maximum and my phone up to maximum in order to drown out sounds, and if that’s what I have to do to protect myself from Bad Sounds, then that’s what I have to do.

I have learned that certain Good Sounds block out the world “better” than others. For example, a song may have loud parts and quiet parts in it. In order for the quiet parts to be blocking the world out, then I have to turn it up so high the loud parts are hurting my ears. This isn’t the best situation, so when I’m in a desperate need to block out The Whole World, I turn to white noise.

White noise is steady, unchanging background noise. The sound a radio makes when it doesn’t find a station is the classic. There are TONS of amazing websites where you can stream all kinds of white noise, such as rain, wind, cars on a highway, crickets- you name it, you can find it. There are also apps you can download for times when you can’t stream. The one I use the most is A Soft Murmur. It’s free, it’s very simple to use, and it also has an app you can download for free (you can pay money to get extra sounds but the free ones are already great).

So I use this when I need to make the world Just Shut Up. Because it’s a steady sound, not going loud-and-quiet like a song, I can turn it up juuuuust high enough to block out the world and no higher. This protects my ears AND my brain better than a song. It’s also less overwhelming than a song. Very often even my favorite samesong is Too Much, and so I go for the nice shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh of white noise.

Another really, really good thing are noise-cancelling headphones, but for these you have to spend money. But they are WORTH it if you can save up. These block sound even when they’re playing NOTHING, as long as they’re turned on. If you have these, then you will not need to make your headphones as loud in order to block out the world.

Sometimes, as an autistic, you have to trade off between the health of your body (your ears) and the health of your mind to avoid a meltdown. Having your headphones too loud for a short time to stop a meltdown is worth it, for me. Once I have calmed down or once the Horrible Sound has stopped, then I turn them down again. (I check now and then by lifting one ear up to see if the noise is over).

Also, I have noticed, that many headphones and phones have a REALLY quiet “maximum recommended volume level”. The truth is, the device doesn’t REALLY know how loud the file you’re listening to is. So if you feel it’s not hurting your ears and isn’t really that loud, then it’s fine to go above that. I do it for quiet songs all the time.

So protect yourself from the bad sounds, my friend. Use the white noise, use noise-cancelling headphones if you can afford them, and turn it up when you have to (but don’t keep it there, as soon as you’re out of the environment, turn them back down).

Be safe from meltdowns, and protect your ears as much as you can while doing so.

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #sensory input #hearing input #sound input #sound sensitivity #headphones #white noise #ask

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muggle-writes · 5 years

Text

11 questions

tagged by @writergurll

1. What is your favourite writing quote?

I.... don't collect quotes. I could Google one right now but that's not the same because I won't feel any long-term connection to it. but my favorite writing advice derived from a quote is the equivalent of "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" because you can't edit words that aren't there. write and keep writing, it can be good later, now you just want there to be enough words to work with

2. What is the name of your childhood favourite book?

Hmm Ender's Game was a favorite. as were the Harry Potter books.

3. When did you start writing?

the first time I wrote a story and cared about it, not just because it was required for class, was probably 7th grade? but I've been crafting stories to lull myself to sleep with for years, at least as young as 3rd grade. and now a solid half of my writing process is zoning in to that same narrated imaginationland that I tell my bedtime stories from, and crafting the story in a similar way (the thing with actually writing it down later is, now it does matter whether the story is self-consistent.)

4. Do you listen to music when you write?

usually, yeah. I have found what works best for me is putting on soundtracks from video games I haven't played. video game music is designed to be played on repeat, to complement but not distract from a task. and if it's music from video games I haven't played, then I don't get distracted remembering what I loved about the game. (the times I don't listen to music it's usually because everything is too distracting. music is too distracting, silence is too distracting, the surface I'm sitting upon is too distracting... on those days I get a cold drink and write in silence and hope and pretend I'm a functional writer. alternately I was so ready to write I put in my headphones and got in the zone and wrote 4 pages before I realized I was still listening to silence)

5. Who is your favourite character to write?

oooh, good question.

I like to write observant characters, because whether or not they're correct in their observations, it forces me to think about how truths can be misconstrued or hidden, or whether they're obvious to all or just to those who look. It also gives me an excuse to over-describe everything, when the character is observant enough to notice and mentally comment on all the details I want to add.

but also I like writing any characters when I have a strong sense of their voice, enough to be confident that I'm writing them in character

6. How do you come up with names for your characters?

I write a lot of fanfiction which makes names mostly a moot question, but when I am actually generating character names, I've got a few methods:

for a fantasy universe with names that resemble American names but aren't actually recognizable, I kinda just babble gibberish that also sounds vaguely like names until something sounds right. Then I repeat it a few times to make sure it still sounds right, and modify if needed. (...often I realize weeks or months later that a name sounds like something else and I'm surprised with myself for not noticing the similarity and then I second guess the character's name. once I wound up with a character whose name turned out to be the brand on the water fountains at my school.)

if I'm writing vaguely modern English or white-American names, I'll go through names I know and try them out, filtering by how pretentious the name sounds against family background.

and when I have to come up with names with other backgrounds I'll use baby naming websites or lists of "25 most common names in [country]

7. What’s your favourite book?

heck that's a really good question. I like lots of books. usually whatever I'm reading at the time is my "favorite" unless it's awful.

idk if I have a permanent favorite book, but the Harry Potter, Belgariad, Xanth, Pern, and Ender series all really shaped my sense of storytelling

8. What is your favourite part of writing?

either when I have a great idea and I get it down on paper/into a document before that initial burst of inspiration fades, or seeing people's reactions to my work, or occasionally just rereading something I wrote months or years prior and just enjoying it as much then as I did at first.

9. Who is a writer you look up to?

As much as I don't like his politics, I have been really drawn into nearly everything I've read of Orson Scott Card's (if I was old enough to Get It. tbh most of the Ender sequels went over my head bc I read them too young). and that's something I aspire to, to be so skillful, and to weave such a compelling story, that even people who want to dislike me are willing to kinda ignore that and forget it and pick up something I wrote just because my name's on it so they trust it to be good

10. Which genre is favourite to read?

when I was younger I liked both fantasy and sci fi pretty equally, but even though they can overlap, the tone is so different between the genres that I tend to prefer fantasy

11. How did you come up with your current wip?

lol which one? all my current wips are fanfiction (the last original piece I had half a plot for, I outlined and then abandoned during high school). usually I'll watch an episode or a movie and come away imagining "what if..." and if I get enough of a divergence from the original and I still feel strongly that I think it's worth writing, I'll start writing it up. I've started pieces because they were happening in my imaginationland and I wanted to force the scenes to be completed. occasionally I let a character (OC or fandom) work through a crisis I'm trying to pretend isn't happening in my own life. Several of my crossovers are inspired by "those characters should interact, it would be funny/drama-prone/intriguing/etc" (eg Julie Kwan & Hermione Granger: more-than-competent, sarcastic, academic friends. sounds excellent. OACET agent & Jodie Starling: time for (supposedly ex-)FBI shenanigans and Conan can be the one out of the loop for once. just things like that that sound like something interesting will happen) sometimes it's based on fandom commentary I've read (what if the Dursleys died instead and Lily and James raised Dudley) or just straight up "write the thing you want to read" (my long wip right now is because I got hooked on a trope and few of the fics were complete and none of them contained twists I thought would fit so I'm writing my own).

inspiration comes from lots of places and then it all kinda gets filtered through "what do I spend more than a single afternoon polishing in imaginationland?" and what survives is usually what I write.

anyway I'm not organized enough to have a taglist. I imagine I'm supposed to tag 11 people? but maybe @knightbusofdoom or @elizabethsyson to answer questions? no pressure.

and anyone else that wants can either do it and tag me or dm me and I'll edit you in so you're properly tagged

#tag games #asks and answers #writing things

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