#so it led to a pretty toxic relationship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

finelinefae · 1 month

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everything with you

synopsis: a simple, true kind of love

word count: 7.1k

contains: fluff, angst, cancer, brief mentions of sexual assault, allusions to domestic violence and a toxic relationship, normal people/one day vibes, boyfriend harry

a/n: posting this here because i love it so much and i was feeling emo. also have been away for a week so haven't had much time to finish writing things I'm still working on (there will be a soft girl sunday post tomorrow don't worry and i am also working on a tattoo h blurb as well !!)

. . .

October 1st 2017

Harry and Y/N met during freshers week at University in 2017.

"Should we make out?"

They were standing in a closet now after meeting just ten minutes ago downstairs.

"M' names Harry," Harry spoke, sitting on the couch and looking down at his first drink of the night. He wasn't much of a drinker but also feared missing out or being seen as unordinary - at university, drinking felt like it was deemed ordinary.

Y/N blushed, her cheeks pink from the humidity in the room and the fact that a guy was talking to her. She pulled down the sleeves of her dress to hide her shaky hands. She noticed she stuck out like a sore thumb with how she decided to dress, her long sleeves and knee-length skirt juxtaposed with every other girl in the room.

"'M Y/N." She responded. Harry nodded, sheepish and awkward as he tried to think about something to say.

They were sitting side by side, looking out at the other people dancing to the music that echoed through the house. "What do you study?" Y/N managed to ask and cringed at the question. Was it normal to talk about school at a house party?

"Music." He nodded as Y/N tried to think up another question despite already asking one. "What about you?"

"English." She said and an awkward silence fell between them.

Harry eventually turned to look at her, lips parting at the natural beauty even just from looking at her side profile. Her hair was in waves that fell down her back and he thought her dress was pretty too. She had a tiny bump on the bridge of her nose that led to her plump, cherry red lips.

She felt his gaze on him and turned her head, catching his eyes and looking down from embarrassment. He was beautiful like a living, breathing adonis. His eyes were a sea glass green and he had chestnut brown curls on his head.

"It's a little loud in here don't you think?" Harry spoke, his voice seemed closer to her now.

Y/N looked up and looked around at the crowd of people, "Just a little." She said,

"Do you want to go upstairs?" He wondered if maybe it would be easier to get to know her in a quieter setting.

Y/N followed him upstairs, wondering whether he knew where they were going and if he knew anyone else at the party. She had only just met him and despite his awkwardness, her trust issues were too much for her to just relax around him.

He opened the door and pulled her inside, "Um...Harry?"

He nodded, already guessing what she was about to say and looking down at her, "We're in a closet." He stated.

"Yeah." She whispered, her heart racing at the close proximity.

"I don't live here." He tried to hide his embarrassment.

Suddenly, Y/N burst out laughing, the entire situation was something she didn't see coming and she couldn't help but laugh at the predicament. It wasn't too long before Harry began to laugh along with her, the both of them standing in the closet in hysterics.

When their laughter quietened down, Harry looked down at Y/N. His demeanor changed as he admired her as she bit back a smile. "Should we make out?"

Her lips parted, "U-Um-I-I've never been kissed before."

"Me neither." He murmured, he wasn't even sure why he asked, he just felt like it was something he should be doing being at a freshers party.

Y/N thought about it for a second, she gulped down her nerves and looked at his lips before looking at him again. "O-okay." She nodded.

She'd never been kissed but neither had he, so neither of them could complain it was a bad kiss. She thought it'd be better to kiss him now to get the firsts out of the way.

"Okay." He released a shaky breath and slowly leaned forward.

Y/N stood on her toes the closer he got to her, their breaths echoed around the room as their hearts raced at the same time. The tension was thick as their lips were closer to touching. It seemed strange that the first person to touch her lips was a man she had met just ten minutes ago.

Harry reached for her hand, brushing his fingers against them and feeling how soft her skin was. Her eyes fluttered shut when he felt his fingers run up her arm, a path of goosebumps arising. Her nose rubbed against his and her eyes fluttered shut when his fingertips touched her waist.

She had the urge to press a kiss to his jawline as his fingers danced across the skin on her arm, "Harry," She whispered, her head resting on his shoulder.

Everything she was feeling right now was exactly how she thought she'd feel if someone kissed her and yet their lips hadn't even touched yet.

His lips brushed against hers and eventually, she leapt up into his arms and pressed her lips to his, arms wrapping around his neck. She whimpered at the sensation of his tongue tangled with hers, her entire body felt as though it was on fire as he continued to touch her. She tugged on his hair like her hands had a mind of their own and he released a guttural groan which made her tummy flutter with excitement.

If they were to continue, she was curious to see where things would go next but her curiosity was killed when the door opened and they pulled away from each other.

"My bad." Someone chuckled and closed the door again.

Harry was breathing erratically, looking down at the floor as his mind whirred.

"I should go." Y/N was the first to talk and before he could even reply, she opened the door and left.

February 20th 2018

Harry was late for class but he was in no rush to get there. In fact, he hoped the seminar would be over by the time he got there so he didn't have to answer any questions. He hated talking in front of people.

He decided to take a longer walk to his seminar, going in a direction he had never gone before and hoped he would get lost along the way.

As he pulled out his phone to change the song he was listening to, he ended up bumping into someone else. "I-I'm sorry," He immediately crouched down and picked up the books on the floor.

"I-It's fine, don't worry about it." A delicate hand touched his as they reached for the same book.

His head perked up when he registered who the person was, the voice was the last thing he heard before he went to sleep every night. "Y/N?" He spoke before he could stop himself.

She looked up at him, he noticed she looked different to when he had first met her. The light in her eyes looked dimmer and she seemed more on edge than when he had first met her.

"Harry?" She smiled, standing up.

"It's good to see you." Flashes of their first kiss came to mind and he quickly brushed them away.

"How's the first year treating you so far?" She tucked her hair behind her ear.

"It's been... good." He was lying but he wouldn't tell her that, not when he felt the need to impress her.

"Oh I'm glad, we should-"

"Y/N!" Y/N stilled, her head turning to look past Harry's shoulder. Her sudden change in expression made him turn to see the person who had caused it.

A man stood waving his hand in the air in the distance, he looked slightly older than both Harry and Y/N. "Who's that?" Harry looked at Y/N.

"T-That's Shaun." She muttered, holding her books tightly to her chest.

"Is he your boyfriend?" He hated how the question tasted when he asked it but wanted to know.

"Yes." She said, his heart was hurting but he tried his best not to show it. "I should get going."

She walked past him but he called her name before she managed to get away, "Here," He took out a pen and wrote on the front of the page of her notepad his number, "In case you need me."

She smiled but it didn't meet her eyes, "Thank you."

He watched her as she walked away and didn't start to walk again until she walked around the corner.

He couldn't help the gut feeling that was definitely going to need his number whether she wanted it or not.

May 15th 2018

Harry had finished his last music exam and stood in his dorm room, packing his room up since his mother would be picking him up tomorrow afternoon for the summer.

He knew other people were out partying and enjoying the fact that the first year was over but he was too keen to get home. University hadn't treated him nicely and that was just the way it was for him.

He hadn't made many friends besides a few in his music class, even then he wouldn't really consider them friends, mostly just people he spoke to now and then. He hadn't been to a party since the first week of freshers nor did he really want to.

"Fuck." He murmured to himself when he could hear the vibrations of his phone ringing. He rummaged through the piles of items he had created whilst packing and eventually found his phone under a pile of clothes.

The number was unknown but he picked it up anyway.

"Hello?" He frowned, waiting for a response from the unknown caller.

"H-Harry?" He stood straight and held his breath when the voice he hadn't heard in a while was talking to him on the phone. "I-It's Y/N."

I know. That was what he wanted to say but instead waited for her to carry on speaking. He wasn't sure as to why she was calling him now since he had given her his number three months ago. He spent the first few days waiting for a call from her but was always let down.

"U-Um, I know we haven't spoken in a while b-but I really need you to come g-get me." She was on the verge of tears as she held the phone to her ear, waiting for him to say something.

Harry cleared his throat, "Are you okay?" He asked, concern in his voice as he walked to the door.

He waited for a response, "No." She sobbed, "I'm at a party outside campus on Melville Street and I don't know anyone else."

He stumbled over his belongings as he pulled his shoes on and tugged on his jacket. "Hey, don't worry. I'm on my way and I promise I'll be there in five minutes."

"O-Okay," She whimpered, "Thank you...Harry."

He ended the call and raced down the steps to the front door, running out and making his way to Melville Street where he knew all the parties were held throughout the year. He could already see a mass of people at one particular house at the end of the road and could only assume it was the house Y/N had called him from.

He pushed his way past the other students, apologising as he did so but making no effort to stop himself from getting to Y/N. He ran up the stairs and opened the door to each room, ignoring the screeching from teenagers making out and wanting him to leave.

Eventually, he got to the end of the hallway and faced a closet door. He slowly put his ear to the door and heard the sniffles and cries of someone behind it. Carefully, he pulled the door open and looked down to see Y/N, crying into her knees as she curled up into herself.

He closed the door behind him and crouched down in front of her, "Hey," He whispered, not wanting to frighten her.

She looked up, cheeks tear stained and makeup smothered which she tried to wipe away with the back of her hand. "You're here." She whimpered and wasted no time in leaping forward and wrapping her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder.

This was the last thing he was expecting to happen tonight but he didn't stop from holding her tightly in an attempt to squeeze the pain out of her. Sometimes people just wanted a hug and he just so happened to be the only person who could give that to her right now.

"What happened Y/N?" He looked her in the eye and was brought back to the first time they were in a closet together. He wished he could go back to that time or at least be with her now under different circumstances.

"It's nothing." She wiped away her tears as best as she could.

"I don't think you would have called me of all people if it were nothing." He cupped the side of her cheek and noticed a bruise under her eye. His heart fell out of his chest when the worst-case scenario came to mind, "D-did Shaun do this to you?"

He didn't need an answer from her because the look on her face was clear enough to tell that he was right. Y/N began sobbing all over again, "How long Y/N?" Harry asked, firmly.

She didn't answer, "Y/N, how long?"

"Since February," She confessed in a whisper and hid herself away from him.

Harry felt an incredible urge to walk out to find Shaun and release every ounce of his rage onto him but he also knew that wouldn't do anything to help Y/N at this moment. So he took a deep breath and placed a gentle hand on Y/N's shoulder.

She looked up with wide, teary eyes and tried to crack a smile, "Let's get you out of here."

She laughed breathily, "What? You don't like being in a closet with me anymore?"

He couldn't seem to find it in himself to laugh with her, "Not when you're like this Y/N."

She loved the way his voice sounded, she had been thinking about it ever since she first kissed him in the closet. Maybe that's why Shaun treated her like he did because she was lying in bed with him and dreaming about someone else.

Harry walked out of the house with Y/N under his arm, shielding her away from the party. "Do you have anyone who can pick you up from your dorm?"

Y/N looked down at her shoes, embarrassment filling her, "I-I moved in with Shaun, he didn't want me living with the other girls and he's in his second year so..."

"Fuck." Harry said, eyes wide.

"Yeah," She laughed, pitifully. "Feel free to name me an idiot for the next few hours."

Harry sighs, "I'd never call you that Y/N. Sometimes we make mistakes when we're cast out into loneliness by others."

They carried on walking in silence. Y/N wasn't sure where they were going until they got to Harry's accommodation. "We'll have to sleep here for the night."

"A-Are you sure?" Y/N was nervous, wringing her hands together.

He didn't reply as he led her upstairs to his dorm where he knew everyone else was out getting drunk. She stepped into his room and was surprised to see the piles on the floor. It was amusing and sad to see. Each pile seemed to represent a different part of him, parts she knew nothing about, and yet he was the first person she thought about calling when she was in trouble. It felt like a cruel trick, she relied heavily upon strangers to lift her up because it was easier than being seen as weak by the people she deemed most important.

"I've been packing, m' mum's picking me up tomorrow. It's a bit of a mess." He begins picking up things from the floor, underwear and pages of sheet music.

"You play guitar?" She was still standing by the door.

"A bit, piano mostly." She notices the keyboard at his desk.

"You can take the bed, I don't mind sleeping on the floor." He stands, not sure how to act with a girl in the room, especially a girl he thought about before he went to sleep.

"Why can't we both sleep on the bed?" She wondered, kicking her shoes off.

"Y-Yeah," Harry gulped, "W-Whatever makes you comfortable."

Y/N and Harry sat side by side on the bed and were immediately brought back to their first interaction. Except this time they didn't have the noise of the party to fill the awkward silence.

"He didn't rape me, Harry." She whispers out of nowhere, she was crying again and he hated it.

"I never thought he did." He lied, he did think that.

"I-I'm not that desperate."

"I never said you were."

"Shaun was good to me and then... I've never been in a relationship before. I didn't know how it was supposed to go." She confessed.

"I know," He knew she needed to talk about it but he also knew she didn't particularly want to.

"Right." The sheets ruffled beside him and he looked over to see her lying on the bed with her back facing him. Her shoulders were shaking as she cried into his pillow.

Harry didn't know what to do. He wasn't good at comforting people or talking to people or being around people but he couldn't live with himself if he just sat there and watched her cry. He twisted his body and placed a hand on her shoulder. He noticed her flinch slightly but in a blink of an eye, she turned around and buried her face into his stomach, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing into his shirt.

Harry did nothing as he ran his fingers through her hair and just let her cry for the next hour.

"Harry," Y/N whispered in the dark, the both of them lying side by side flat on their backs.

"Yeah." He whispered back.

"I wish I didn't leave the first time." Her confession surprised him. He thought he was the only one who thought about their kiss daily. He often thought how they'd be today if she were to have stayed.

"Me too." He said and felt her pinkie hook around his.

They fell asleep after that.

June 20th 2018

It was summer and Harry was in Italy with his family.

"Harry! Lunch is ready." His mother called from the patio as he sat in a hammock with his guitar.

He lugged himself out of the hammock and felt a vibration in his back pocket.

Y/N: I hope you're having a good time x

He bit back a smile, feeling giddy with the fact that she had messaged him in the middle of the day even though they'd been texting on and off since the summer began.

Harry: Yeah it's been alright, too hot for my liking.

He held his breath as the dots began to appear as she typed out a reply.

Y/N: Why am I not surprised? x

Harry: I've been working on a few songs whilst I'm out here though

Y/N: I look forward to being the first to hear them x

Y/N smiled as she looked down at her phone whilst she sat in the back room on her break from working at the supermarket. He had told her once he'd never played a song before to anyone, not even his mother. She asked him if he'd ever play something to her and he immediately replied with three letters. 'Yes'.

Y/N worked for the rest of the day and finished her shift at three thirty. She had to pick up a few things before she went back to her house where she was living with her mother and grandmother.

She went to check the time on her phone but ended up seeing a message from Harry.

A gasp escaped her lips when she noticed it was a voice note. It was a long time since she had heard Harry's voice.

She reached into her bag for her headphones and pulled out the tangled mess. Suddenly a crackling sound and the heavy rain pouring in the background began to play. She waited until she could hear the gentle strum of a guitar and Harry's voice flooding her ears as he began to sing.

There was something so comforting about his voice and a part of her felt ignited by the pure vulnerability in his voice as he sang. "Sorry, okay bye." He mumbled at the end of the voice note.

She laughed and immediately began to type out a message.

Y/N: It's beautiful.

Harry: I miss you Y/N.

Her heart stuttered from the simple text message.

Y/N: I miss you too Harry.

July 20th 2018

"Here let me take that for you." Harry grabbed her bag and slung it over his shoulder, "I'll show you up to your room.”

"It's...big." Y/N looked at the home Harry had in Italy with his family.

He chuckled, "You could say that."

He was in awe that she was here with him in Italy. He had invited her out when she told him she'd never been abroad before despite having a passport. After asking his mother, he bought her a cheap flight over to the Amalfi Coast and set up the guest bedroom, buying her candles and things from the nearest grocery shop.

"Do you love her?" Anne smirked whilst she stood at the door with her arms crossed, watching her son put face masks into what would be Y/N's bathroom drawer.

"No," He shakes his head. "No, I don't."

"Okay." She said but wasn't assured by his answer.

Harry placed her bags on the double bed and gave her time to take in the house. "Is your mum home?" She wondered.

"No, she and Astrid went to the market," Harry said.

"I can see the sea." She looked past him, out the window.

"That's funny, since you arrived all I can see is you." He whispers, looking into her eyes. She didn't have to tell him she agreed because he already knew.

Things between them had changed over the last month and they both knew it. Since Harry sent the song over to her, things between them were different. They spent the majority of their nights sleeping late and having deep conversations over the phone. Harry now knew more about her than anyone ever did and she knew even more about him.

They hadn't kissed since the night they first met and Harry would be lying if he said he didn't think about it still.

"Harry, come down and help us with the groceries!" His mother called from the kitchen.

Y/N followed Harry down the steps where his mother and sister were. "Harry!" Astrid squealed, the six year old leaping into his arms.

"Hey, Astrid." He smiles, putting her down afterwards and walking over to his mother.

"Oh goodness, you must be Y/N! Harry has told us so much about you." Anne grins and goes over to hug Y/N.

"It's nice to meet you," Y/N spoke, shyly.

"Hi," Astrid grinned, one of her teeth missing.

"Hi Astrid, it's nice to meet you." Y/N grinned.

"You're pretty." Astrid hides behind Harry as she speaks.

Harry and Anne laugh, "Why don't you take Y/N down to our beach? It's a wonderful day outside."

"Sure," Harry nodded, putting the milk in the fridge.

Harry led Y/N back to her room so she could get dressed into her bathing suit. "You don't have to come with us if you don't want to. You're probably tired."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Y/N asked, pulling out her swimsuit from her backpack.

"I want you to be everywhere." He smiles softly.

She bites back a grin, "Give me a second."

Harry walks back in once he puts his swim shorts on and halts his movements when he notices Y/N standing in front of the mirror putting suncream on. Her hair was tied back and she had removed her makeup from her face. She was wearing a black, one piece swimming costume. He could see the curve of her hips and her breasts and watched as she applied sun cream to her bare arms and legs. He didn't want to stare too long but he couldn't help but revel in the beauty of her.

"I'm ready." She smiles, covering her body with a towel.

"Cool." Harry gulps.

. . .

"It's cold." Y/N shivers when she walks further into the ocean.

"It feels good." Harry smiles, walking out into the sea.

They stood facing each other in the middle of the ocean. "Your family seems nice,"

"They're alright," He couldn't stop looking at her.

I really want to kiss you right now. He thought but tried to contain himself.

"Have you written any more songs?" She asks.

"A few, I was inspired you could say."

"By who?" She wonders.

Before he could reply, a wave knocked into them both. Y/N lost her balance and slipped underwater but Harry just managed to grab her waist and hold her before she was able to drift away.

They both started laughing, Harry's hands were on her waist the entire time as they smiled at each other.

"Are you going to kiss me?" Y/N wonders, Harry's breath catching in his throat, "At the party you had the same look in your eye when we were in the closet."

"Do you want me to kiss you?" He asks.

"I always want you to kiss me, Harry." She says.

He scoffs, smiling, "You can't say that you know."

"Why not?" She bites her lip.

"Because then I'll just have to kiss you all the time."

"I always want you to kiss me, Harry." She whispers again this time in his ear, arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

Harry shakily exhaled and leaned his head forward. He had thought of this moment for months since the first time they met and he didn't think it would happen for a while. Y/N had told him all the things Shaun had done to her during their short relationship and he knew it would affect her for a while once they had broken up.

She kissed his shoulder, the saltiness of the water on the tip of her tongue, before she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

Harry whimpered like he had been in desperate need of her this whole time and he was finally getting what he wanted. His hands were everywhere as he tried to hold her in the ocean, she pushed his wet hair back and cupped his cheeks.

"Y/N," He whispered over and over again, "I'd never be like him, I hope you know that."

She said nothing, just smiled and kissed him again and again and again and again.

August 3rd 2018

"Do you think I'm a good writer?" Y/N asked, her bare chest pressed against Harry's as she finally caught her breath from opening up to him in a way only he was allowed to see.

"I think you're a wonderful writer." He hums, releasing her hair from her messy ponytail so he could massage her scalp with his fingertips.

"Really?" She smiled up at him, he felt a tight feeling in his stomach at the sight of it.

"Yes." He kissed her sweaty forehead.

"I think you'd be a good musician." She played with his fingers.

"Thank you." He wasn't sure what to say besides that. He knew she had faith in him, sometimes too much.

"Harry," She started. She moved to sit up, she was naked and slouched over but it didn't phase him one bit, he liked seeing her naked, it was possibly one of his favourite things. "Y' know you're my best friend right?"

"I know that," He nods. "You tell me every day."

"I think I might be in love with you." She confesses, a sigh of relief escaping her.

"I know I'm in love with you." He admits, he'd never told anyone he loved them besides his mother and sister but with Y/N it felt different. He felt as though he was opening a part of himself that had always been locked and only she knew how to open it.

"So we love each other?" She crawls over to him, falling beside him and lying on her back, her head lolling to the side to look at him.

His hand goes to her tummy and he rubs his thumb up and down, "We love each other." His hand slowly creeps lower.

"Can we have sex again?" She asks, biting her lip.

He loved the way her cheeks flushed when she spoke about doing intimate things with her. Her eyes would turn a darker shade and the hairs on her arms would stand on end.

"Y'never have to ask." He murmured and kissed her everywhere.

January 30th 2022

Harry and Y/N moved in together when they graduated. It was an easy decision and they didn't regret it one bit.

"Morning baby," Harry hummed, kissing her shoulder and handing her a mug of coffee. She was wearing a shawl and a lace bra with his boxer shorts and he made sure to take a mental picture of her right this moment.

"Morning handsome." She whispered, tired and achy from being at her computer for a second day in a row.

Y/N was a writer or at least trying to be one. She was currently signed to a literary agent and was attempting to get a book published. She'd been spending the last few days going through the edits she'd been sent from her first draft.

He placed two hands on her shoulders and rubbed his thumbs into them, massaging her shoulders and easing some of the tension. "I'm going to the studio today, wrote a few songs last night."

"You did?" She grinned, her head turning to look up at him, "Will I get to hear them first?"

"You know you will. You always get to listen to them first you know that." He chuckles, leaning down to kiss her.

He rubbed his thumbs under her tired eyes as he cupped her cheeks, "Get some sleep darling, please."

"Can I have a kiss first?" She pouts, her eyes gazing up at him.

He snickered and kissed her the same way he did when he first met her, leaving her in a daze as he left her in the kitchen and walked out of the house to get to the studio.

"I think I want to marry her," Harry spoke aloud, his friend Mitch turning to him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I want to marry her."

"Good for you, man. She's good for you." He gives him a friendly pat on the back.

Harry drove home with a memory stick sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He also had an engagement ring in his back pocket that he picked up on his way home. It was cheap and fake, costing him just thirty pounds, but he planned on buying her a new one when he sold some of his demos to other artists.

When he walked through the door, he noticed Y/N was no longer at her computer. He walked into the lounge and saw her passed out on the sofa, a loaf of bread was on the coffee table with a tub of butter and a knife stuck into it.

He sat down beside her, and she stirred. "Hi baby," He stroked her hair out of her face.

"You're home." She hummed, grabbing his hand and holding it to her chest with her eyes still shut.

"Come to bed, my love." He keeps his voice down when he speaks to her.

"But I want to hear your music." Sleep weighed heavy in her voice.

"Y' can hear it tomorrow darling, let's go to bed." He picks her up and cradles her in his arms as he carries her up the stairs.

"Love you," She whispers as he lays her in bed and covers her in the blanket.

"Love you too." He grins, lazily and crawls into bed next to her, holding her tightly.

September 16th 2024

He's never felt pain like this.

"Where is she?" He gripped onto her mother's shoulders, looking at her with pleading eyes.

He had rushed to the hospital, cancelling his show last minute since he was touring with the band he had written songs for. They invited him at the last minute to be the opening act for their show and he accepted despite his homesickness and desire to stay with Y/N.

"Mr Styles?" A nurse approaches with a doctor beside her.

"Is she okay? What's going on?" He was tired before he got the phone call but now he was wide awake and wasn't planning on getting sleep anytime soon.

"Mr Styles, we're going to need you to take a seat." The Doctor places a hand on his shoulder but he brushes it off, growing frustrated.

"Please, just tell me what's going on."

A sigh leaves the doctor's lips, "Miss Y/L/N has had to have emergency brain surgery."

"W-What?" He froze, unsure how to process it all.

"We found a tumour in her brain that we've had to remove, the cancer is still there but-"

He blocked out the doctor's words after that, all he seemed to hear were the words 'surgery' and 'cancer'. Y/N had cancer.

"C-Can I see her?" He had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"She's asleep but you can go in and see her." The Doctor nods and turns to the nurse, giving her instructions.

Everything blurred and moved in slow motion as he walked down the corridors to Y/N's room. He couldn't believe what was happening and whether or not it was real but the pain coursing through him was enough to tell him that his life had taken a turn for the worst.

"We'll leave you alone." The nurse nods.

Harry saw Y/N lying in the hospital bed with wires coming out of her and a bandage wrapped around her head.

"No baby." He shook his head, "No, no, no." He walked forward and fell to his knees in front of her.

He gripped her hand and squeezed tight, sobbing as he tried to think up ways to help her, to trade places, to take all the pain she was feeling and consume it himself.

"You'll be fine," He whispered, kissing her cheek, "You'll be okay." All the while twisting the cheap engagement ring he had given to her before he left to tour.

It wasn't the most extravagant engagement but it was perfect for them. Harry had taken Y/N camping for the first time but they soon realised they both hated it. It didn't help that it was pouring with rain and the tent had a hole in it.

So, they ditched the tent and bought a cheap motel room. They had dinner at a restaurant opposite the petrol station where the food wasn't too good but they had to beat soft serve ice cream.

Harry asked the question after they had sex in their motel room. A tangled, sweaty mess and in a haze, he just blurted out the question to which she immediately said yes and broke down crying because she loved him so much.

Later on, Y/N woke up in the evening with Harry sitting awake beside her.

"H-Harry," She mumbled, her eyes fluttering open and close. She was very tired.

"Hey darling," He crouched down in front of her so he was eye level with her, "M right here."

His voice always soothed her, since the very first day they met, "I'm sick aren't I?" She tears up.

He slowly nods his head, "But you'll get better."

She wasn't so sure.

December 1st 2024

"Can we go to Italy to get married?" Y/N asked, sitting at the windowsill with a book. She was wearing a headscarf over her hairless head as the sun shone through the window.

Harry thought she looked beautiful.

"I thought you wanted to get married here at home?" He wondered, they both wanted something simple so planned their wedding reception to be at their house in the back garden.

She placed her book down and stood up on shaky legs. She was getting thinner the more they did chemotherapy, sometimes she could barely hold her head up from exhaustion but she was fighting her way through it all.

She climbed onto Harry's lap who was sitting at the table writing music. "I want to go to Italy for Christmas and get married."

Harry chuckles, "I don't think people will be happy if we do all that last minute, it'll cost a lot too."

She shakes her head, a cheeky grin on her face, "I just want it to be us two."

He thought about it. He knew how much their families meant to the both of them and how important it was for them to be there but he couldn't lie if he said the thought didn't tempt him.

"What about our parents?" He asked.

"Well I assume they'd be upset for a while but they'll get over it. We can have a party in the back garden just like we originally planned." She snaked her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, he could tell she was getting tired.

"When would you want to leave for Italy?" He wonders and she knew she had persuaded him.

"Tomorrow."

December 3rd 2024

They got married where they kissed on the beach.

Y/N was rushed to the hospital in the evening.

May 22nd 2025

Harry was alone.

He stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie and tried his best not to get emotional.

He hadn't seen her in a while but he hoped she was giving him some reassurance wherever she was.

"My boy," Anne walked in, wearing a sleek dress, "You look so handsome."

She adjusted the lapels of his suit and cupped his cheeks, a bittersweet look on her face, "They're waiting for you."

He nodded, glanced one last time at the mirror and exhaled.

People were already standing in the pews of the church, some were already crying as he walked to the end of the aisle. He turned around and took a heavy breath, his hands shaky.

"You've got this," Mitch whispered, reassuringly.

Suddenly everyone stood up as the music began to play, waiting for the love of his life to turn the corner.

Y/N beat cancer on Harry's birthday this year.

He cried tears of joy and they celebrated by ordering two ice cream cakes and eating them both with just two spoons and Mamma Mia playing in the background.

They decided they wanted to get married again with a proper ceremony since their wedding in Italy was slightly tainted by the fact she had to go to hospital. Their mothers were also adamant they had another wedding they could actually attend.

He held his breath when she walked out in a beautiful, white dress. It was a tight fitted, mermaid dress with an open back. She was adamant about having a tight fitted dress so she could see how bloated her belly got with the buffet they had for the reception. With the chemo, she couldn't stomach a lot of food but now all she wanted to do was eat and Harry loved it.

His eyes began to water as she walked down the aisle on her own. She didn't want anyone to walk her down the aisle because she didn't like the idea of someone giving her away. No one was giving her away because she had always been Harry's right from the beginning.

"You may now kiss the bride!" Everyone cheered as the Officiant announced it.

Y/N leaned forward and smiled, tears down her face, "Should we make out?" She whispered.

"Most definitely." Harry smiled and it was the happiest he had ever been in his life.

October 1st 2027

Welcome to the world, little Matilda.

You came into this world with sun beams coming out of you and we haven't seen the rain since.

Your mother is currently asleep and I haven't got the heart to wake her up. She never ceases to amaze me with how strong she is and I've promised her months of rest since all you seemed to do was wake her up in the night with your tiny toes and little fingers pressing against her belly.

I've loved your mother for ten whole years now and it just adds to your perfection that you were born on the day we met.

On the day we met, I was awkward and shy and hated people which makes no sense since we were at a party. I had no intention of meeting your mother but she was there and I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Don't worry Matilda, you are half your mother and will be just as pretty as she is.

She was my first kiss, the first person I opened up to and the only person I wanted to spend my life with.

Except now we have you and my world before these ten years seems non-existent.

I love you Matilda and no matter how much I say I love you, I will always love you more than that.

You have my green eyes and your mother's little nose. I can already tell you have the imagination of your mother because you were grabbing at my fingers last night and making noises with a smile on your face.

I promise to raise you with as much love as I have given your mother and I know your mother will love as hard as she loves me. Our house will be filled with nothing but love for you Matilda and I hope you hold onto that and carry it with you wherever you go.

You will always be the light in our lives from now on my sweet Matilda.

"Is she awake?" Y/N murmurs, eyes still shut.

"No, she's sleeping." Harry looks down at the little girl in his arms.

"I can't believe we made her Harry." She smiles, cheeks pink, reminding him of the time they first met.

It did amaze him how the person they created together was a product of their love. He didn't really think it possible to hold love in his hands until he held Matilda for the first time.

"I love you, Harry." She whispers, holding his hand.

"I love you too." He sighs, feeling utter bliss.

He would do it all again, he thought, the ups and downs and in-betweens, he'd do it all.

Everything with you.

742 notes · View notes

nxuvillette · 3 months

Text

LOST IN TIME — WRIOTHESLEY

synopsis: you and wriothesley’s relationship ended years ago. neither of you thought you’d ever see each other again, until one night you both meet after years of being apart.

❥ pairings : wriothesley x fem!reader

❥ note : sorry for the inactivity !! i was kind of going through a slump, but i’m hopefully gonna start returning to a regular schedule. i hope you guys enjoy this !! reblogs are appreciated <3.

content warnings : nsfw [17+], fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, mentions of childhood trauma (wriothesley), high school relationships (they’re both adults when meeting again !), alcohol consumption, breakups, some angst, fluff, car sex, creampie, use of pet names (baby , good girl), ex!wriothesley, vanilla sex.

You were never the type to dwell on the past. Whatever happened back then happened, and there was no way for you to control it. Time kept moving and it wouldn’t pause for you whatsoever. It was something everyone was told to move on from.

However, you couldn’t exactly move on from one thing in your past.

Your ex, Wriothesley.

You and Wriothesley met when you were both in high school. Neither of you were in great headspace at the time, so you two connected over the fact that you were dealing with lots of pain during that time period. He wasn’t exactly the most responsible student. He often showed up late, talked back to adults, and he gained many enemies from his impressive stature. He was intimidating. Even you felt a bit of fear whenever he walked into a classroom, but he turned out to be a really nice guy. He sat next to you in your algebra class and asked you for a pencil since he came to school without his backpack. You gave him one and then ended up chatting towards the end of the period about school and other random things.

A lot of your friends questioned why you of all people spoke to Wriothesley. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who would speak to girls like you. You had perfect attendance, good grades, and a pretty decent friend circle. He was the opposite of you.

Eventually, those platonic feelings turned into romantic ones the more you got to know him. Wriothesley confided in you about many things pertaining to his home life. He was in and out of foster care due to his parents passing early on in his childhood, and it led to him being moved around a lot. He wasn’t exactly good at making friends because a lot of them came from these perfect homes. None of them would understand that feeling or his story. Although you couldn’t understand it either, you tried your best to see things through his lense. There was a reason he acted the way he did.

You two then began dating a few months later. It was a perfect relationship. He treated you better than any ex of yours would, and he made you feel safe around him. He was somebody you could rely on. Despite many people frowning upon it, you never listened to their opinions. Wriothesley was someone you thought was your soulmate. It was young love, but to you, it was everything you ever wanted.

However, you did have some problems in your relationship.

You and Wriothesley had many arguments during your time dating. Sometimes he didn’t care for himself and he would miss school to do god knows what. You wanted him to do better for himself, but it didn’t seem like he was taking you as seriously as you thought he would. It would always end with him apologizing and buying you flowers or taking you out for a date to make up for the harsh words thrown around. He didn’t like fighting with you. He knew you wanted the best for him. He just had a hard time committing to the things he had promised to you.

He always thought you two would date for a while, but that was until your senior year. At that point, you two had been dating for almost two years. Things weren’t bad, if anything, it was a lot better than it was early on. Neither of you considered your relationship to be toxic by any means.

Unfortunately, things did come to an end.

You knew that you and Wriothesley were on two completely different paths in life. You wanted to go off to college and begin a career, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. There wasn’t an issue with that, but you had a lot of doubt that the relationship would even work with the distance and your differences. Having to break up with him was one of the most difficult things you had to do.

Wriothesley honestly didn’t understand why you wanted to leave him. You were absolutely everything to him, and he never was one to treat you poorly. However, he also knew that your feelings about it were valid. He didn’t know if he could handle a long distance relationship and you honestly deserve someone better than him. In a way, he knew he was dragging you down in life. He was the one blocking your way of becoming the absolute best, so he took the break up respectfully. He would always love you no matter what, and that’s what he told you. You didn’t think you would take it as hard as you did, but you knew it was for the better.

As the years went on, you slowly forgot about your relationship with him. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to process while in college, but you often distracted yourself by going out with your roommate and other friends you made along the way. Soon enough, it was a thing of the past.

It wasn’t until you came home to see your parents that all of the memories came flowing back to you.

You and your roommate had decided to move into an apartment close to your university, so you weren’t home as often as you normally would be. When you came by to visit, everything felt so nostalgic to you. You hadn’t been in your hometown for a little while and you weren’t sure where to even begin.

You don’t know how you ended up at the bar just ten minutes away from your home. It wasn’t exactly packed for a Thursday evening, so you didn’t have to worry about weirdos at the bar hitting on you. You were sitting on your own, sipping on a random cocktail the bartender had made for you. Your mind wandered to many thoughts that only crossed when you were intoxicated. Your past, random embarrassing moments you wished you didn’t let happen, and your ex boyfriend from when you were in high school.

You disliked that you thought about Wriothesley more than you should have. You two had broken up years ago. Why would you still have these thoughts about him? Maybe you could blame it on the fact that you hadn’t exactly had the best luck with romance while in college. There was no other man who was interested in you like Wriothesley was. Most of the men around you were only looking for something short term, or just a quick fuck that wouldn’t mean anything at the end of the day. It was honestly a shame, but you shouldn’t have had such high expectations. Maybe you were a fool.

You didn’t pay much attention to the presence that had appeared next to you. You assumed it was some random person who needed a drink just like you did.

“Yeah, whiskey and coke, please.”

Your heart stopped when you heard the smooth voice speak beside you. A part of you didn’t wanna believe there was a possibility he was here after just thinking about him, but could luck be on your side? It took a lot of courage, but you eventually turned your head to place your eyes on the man beside you. There he was. Your ex, Wriothesley was sitting right beside you. You weren’t sure if you should even speak up and talk to him. Neither of you had crossed paths in years and you didn’t know if he would even want to talk to you.

It didn’t take long for him to notice your staring, and soon enough, Wriothesley’s eyes made contact with yours. You never forgot the color of his ice blue eyes. He looked much older than he did before, obviously, but he seemed more mature. His body also seemed a lot more bulky than it was back in high school. Despite that, his scars still remain etched into his skin as permanent reminders of his past.

“(Y/N)..?” your name left his lips in a whisper, seemingly shocked by your presence.

You felt your heart rate begin to speed up from seeing his face. You didn’t think he would stay, but he sat there in his seat like a deer in headlights. You weren’t sure how to even respond. It was awkward. “H-Hi.. Wriothesley..” you said, trying to ease the awkward tension in the air. It felt so uncomfortable, but you didn’t want to leave.

Wriothesley blinked, trying to take in the realization that you were sitting right in front of him. He hadn’t seen you in years. He vaguely recalled going to your home the day you left for college. He felt like shit knowing you were gone and he couldn’t say what he wanted to. It had been so long. It was like you were a completely different person, but at the same time he recognized you. He thought you were still as beautiful as you were the day he first laid his eyes on you. “Hey.. how are you? It’s been a while..” he turned his body to face you, giving you the chance to see his physical changes.

You laughed through your nose. Relief washed over you when you saw his soft smile appearing on his face. You thought he would just walk away, considering you were the one who broke up with him. “I’m good! How about you?” you asked, sipping your drink to try and calm your nerves.

He honestly was sitting there in disbelief. He didn’t think he’d ever have the chance to speak to you again. “I’m doing alright, haha! How has college been for you?” he questioned, nodding his head.

The conversation between you felt so weird. It was like you two were strangers, but at the same time you knew so much about one another. There was a time in your life where Wriothesley played such a significant role through your teenage years. You didn’t wanna see it that way, but it was difficult knowing there was so much that you missed. Did he ever get away from foster care? He was now over eighteen, so it’s not like he could be cared for anymore by a random family. Did he pursue his dreams of becoming involved in law enforcement? There were so many questions you had yet to be answered.

Wriothesley revealed so much to you. He spoke about how he was able to go and apply to be a security guard at one of the clubs downtown, and with that money he managed to move out and get his own place. He seemed to be doing so much better in life than he was when you first met. He had somewhat of a personality shift as well. There was more maturity in his words and he listened more than he would talk. He was happy you were doing good in life. He wanted nothing but the best for you ever since you two had broken things off.

The evening hours crept up on you two, and the bar had become a little busier than it normally was. The alcohol in your veins also made you loosen up around Wriothesley. He felt the same way, but he was a little more sober than you were. He had a better grip on himself. It was honestly really nice to catch up with you. He really missed you. He didn’t like admitting it to others, but he often yearned to see your face walking around town. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how to put it into words without sounding weird or making things awkward.

“Do you need a ride home..?” he downed the rest of his drink within his glass. The last thing he wanted was for you to go home being slightly intoxicated and on your own.

You hesitated for a second. You didn’t want to give the wrong idea to Wriothesley, but there was the part of you that would feel a lot safer if he was around you. “S-Sure!” you replied, picking up your things off of the table in front of you.

Wriothesley stood up, leaving cash for both of your drinks which you didn’t expect. Standing beside him made you feel somewhat embarrassed. It was like he grew overnight with how broad his body had become over the years. You never thought he would be the type to work out. He talked about it a little while back, but the way he looked now was insane to you.

The two of you left the bar and entered outside. The air nipped at your skin from the slight chill that was in the atmosphere. Wriothesley walked over to his car that was parked in the lot. It was a really nice one, too. You pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in, getting hit with the strong aroma of his cologne that lingered around his vehicle. Once he climbed in, he glanced at you briefly. It almost seemed like he wanted to say something to you, but he decided not to at the last minute.

The car ride back was quiet. Neither of you spoke, and you honestly thought that’s where it would end.

But, it didn’t.

Once he arrived outside of your house, there was something brewing between you two that was bound to burst at any moment. You didn’t know if maybe it was his cologne or how the alcohol made you bolder, but clearly there was something going on and both of you seemed a little hesitant to make a move.

However, that didn’t last long, because Wriothesley was the one who planted a kiss on your lips.

It felt so familiar to you. Every little memory from your relationship played in your mind, making you recall things you thought you had forgotten. You missed it all. You missed his touch, his kisses, his hair that your nails used to dig into when you would make out, the way he would nibble at your neck to turn you on. It didn’t take long for you to end up on his lap with his hands all over your body. His kisses were rough, but passionate at the same time. It brought you back to the many times you two would make out in your bedroom while your parents were out of the house. God, you missed those days. Everything was so much more simple back then.

Wriothesley’s hands lifted up your skirt, squeezing the plush of your ass. He remembered every little part of your body. He knew you so well. It didn’t matter how long you two had been apart. “Fuck.. I’ve missed you so much..” he whispered against your lips. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to go and find you..”

A whimper came from your lips when you felt his hardened cock brush against your clothed pussy. There was a part of you that wondered if you should actually be doing this. You two were ex’s. You were meant to be apart, but there was just so much about Wriothesley that you craved. He was practically your first everything back then, and those things are hard to just forget. “Missed you more, Wrio..” you panted, looking into his eyes. “Please.. I need you.”

He was a bit taken back when you guided his hand to your soaked underwear. His dick practically twitched when he made contact with your arousal. He remembered how easy it was to get you riled up. It seemed like that didn’t change at all.

He wasted no time and pushed your panties aside to begin rubbing your clit. Your hand flew to hold onto his muscular shoulders. It felt so good. His fingers were all too familiar to you, and you loved it more than anything else. Wriothesley then pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He swallowed every one of your pretty moans that kept leaving your throat. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

Wriothesley’s hand left your clit several seconds later. His fingers fumbled with the buckle of his belt. You could tell he was rushing. “I need you now.” he looked at you then down at his pants where he began to pull them off.

You watched as his cock sprang out of his boxers. The tip was leaking precum. You somewhat forgot how big he was. The girth was quite large and his size was one that you thought you wouldn’t be able to take the first time.

He placed his forehead against yours while his tip glossed over your wet cunt. You moaned in pleasure when he made contact with your sensitive bud. “Are you sure you wanna do this..?” he was breathing heavily, showing just how desperate he was for you. “We don’t have to.. but I just need to know now.”

You nodded almost immediately. “Y-Yes! Please, Wriothesley, I can’t wait anymore..” you begged, grinding your hips against him.

Wriothesley didn’t hesitate before pushing his cock into you. Both of you let out loud noises at the sensation of being in each other’s embrace. It had been so fucking long since you felt Wriothesley inside of you. He was stretching you out completely. There was this burning feeling, but you didn’t mind it all. It quickly faded to pleasure the moment he started moving his hips into you. His hands went to your waist where he started guiding you. There was nobody else like you. He loved you. It didn’t matter how far you went, Wriothesley always had that love for you. He knew it sounded dumb to be still thinking about his teenage love, but there was so much about you he just couldn’t get over.

It didn’t take long for him to find your g-spot. He could see in your expression how good you felt when he kissed it with his tip. You could hardly believe this was happening. You never thought you would be able to have sex with him again, but you had zero regrets in your mind about it.

Your fingers laced into his onyx colored hair. You were so lost in bliss. He was better than any lame college hookup you had before. Part of you questioned why you even decided to leave him at the time. Sure, you two were on different wavelengths in life, but he was still a great guy regardless. He treated you like a princess. He never made you feel insecure or unwanted. He was perfect. “W-Wrio..! Yes, yes! Feels so good!” you cried, digging your nails into his scalp.

His grip on you tightened as you kept moaning for him. It was like he was reliving a dream he had. You were so beautiful. He didn’t wanna keep missing you anymore. “Yeah, you like it, baby? I missed you so bad.. I never stopped waiting for you, (Y/N). ‘M always gonna love you..” he captured your lips in another kiss that left you breathless.

Your cheeks turned hot when he said those words to you. You thought after all of this time Wriothesley would hate you for breaking up with him. There was doubt in your mind that he would even wanna see you again, but hearing that he still loved you made you feel relieved. You still loved him too. “Missed you more.. Wriothesley! I love y-you!” you made eye contact with him.

He was surprised to hear that you felt the same towards him. He assumed for so long you had moved on and found somebody else while you were in university. Somebody that was better than him in many aspects. Nonetheless, he didn’t care to question you. You of all people would never lie to Wriothesley, so he trusted your words more than anything else.

Without warning, Wriothesley’s pace picked up. His balls began to smack against your puffy clit. Your vision grew hazy from the amount of pleasure that was rushing through your body. The pit in your belly was growing deeper, implying your orgasm was on the brink of reaching you. Wriothesley could sense it, too. Your pussy was squeezing his cock so hard that he thought it would be difficult for him to even think about pulling out of you. There was so much you two had to make up for.

“Wriothesley.. I’m gonna cum!” your hands gripped his shoulders.

His larger hand went around your throat. You could hear the way he was grunting. It sounded so erotic. “C’mon, baby, cum all over my dick..” he said, his voice sounding deep. “Be a good girl..”

Your cunt then clamped around his cock. A deep groan rumbled in his throat as he felt his own high reach him. His cum filled your womb, making you shiver from the warmth that was spreading from your belly. You could hardly keep yourself upwards from how tired your body was. You felt yourself slumping against him.

His arm went to wrap around your waist, placing his chin atop of the crown of your head. He honestly missed nights like these, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away ever again.

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work !#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x you #wriothesley x y/n #wriothesley smut

617 notes · View notes

scarletlizzard · 3 months

Text

Part 3: Acceptance

Sessions Series

Pairing: psychiatrist? Wanda x female reader

Tags Minors DNI: smut, rope usage, oral (W receiving), fingering (R receiving), strap on use (R receiving), little bit of blood, mentions of a gun/knife towards the end, manipulation

Masterlist

A/N: This part is a bit longer than the others. Is this type of relationship okay? Definitely not. Is this toxic? Absolutely! Did I still write it? Of course! Feel free to let me know what you think so far or if you have any questions about anything. I appreciate all your reads ❤️

Current Winter 2018

"You're just as sexy as I remember," Wanda groans against your lips, kisses trailing to your jaw and neck.

The ride to Wandas was short and full of teasing touches. The kiss started at the parked car and led the two of you inside, clothes being scattered throughout the house on the way to her insanely large bedroom. You made it into her room, where she quickly discarded the rest of yours and her own clothes.

"You're just as hot as I remember," you giggle back, a moan escaping your lips as her mouth finds your already hard nipple. Her tongue swirls around the sensitive bud, her teeth sinking in gently. Your hands were in her hair, holding her close to your chest.

Wandas' large hands roamed over your skin, like a map, she'd already known all the roads. "Are you going to be a good girl for me tonight?" She moans against your skin. You moan back in response.

"Yes ma'am," you pathetically whimper out. "Can I taste you?" You ask her with innocent eyes, a small bite of your lip. "Please?" You add.

She smiles at the sight and brings a hand up to your cheek, her thumb gliding over your lips. A familiar feeling you can't quite place in the swirl of pleasure and still feeling a little tipsy.

Wanda was obsessed with your lips. She was always staring at them, even during your sessions. She thought about kissing you constantly. She thought about rubbing them, just like now, with the pad of her thumb.

"Such pretty lips.." her words sent shivers down your spine. "Scoot up on the bed. You want to taste me, baby?" You nod, again pathetically. When it came to Wanda, you would do anything for her.

You lay back with your head on her pillow, watching as she takes a thin rope in her hands. She walks over to you, hips swaying as she takes both of your wrists and ties them in an intricate knot. The rope is just tight enough it burns in the most pleasurable way as she ties the other end to the headboard.

The crooked smile on her face had your body on high alarm, but the wetness between your legs and the heat in your chest was overwhelming.

One of her fingers trail down your arms that were now held above your head, nail scratching down the skin on your cheek and neck. The way she was looking at you, the look in her eyes, something was wrong. But before you could think anymore, she was crawling over top of you.

"Be a good girl and stick your tongue out," she murmurs. You happily oblige, showing her your tongue. Wanda smirks as you obey her commands and finds herself straddling your face.

You immediately let out a moan as she sits on your mouth. She was already soaking wet. You were breathing in the insatiable scent of her as she began grinding her hips shamelessly down on you.

"Fuck, Y/N," Wanda moans as her thighs squeeze around your head. The sight above you is heavenly. Wandas hands on her breasts, squeezing her nipples as she rides your face. Her brown hair falls in waves down her shoulders. Parted lips moaning your name.

She smirks down at you when she sees your hands moving in their restraints, fingers twitching. You were dying to touch her.

"I don't think so, pretty girl," Wanda says with another lewd moan. Your mouth is practically lapping up her juices, tongue moving desperately for more of her. "Ooh, baby, just like that. Just let me use you," she groans and throws her head back.

It's not long after that her hips grind down harder, and you watch as she pants above you. "Such a pretty face, fuck. I'm gonna cum Y/N! Oh fuck baby," Wanda moans out. Her hips stutter and you feel your face become wetter with her release. Your tongue continues to lap up all she'll give you, and you whine when she moves herself off of you.

Wanda lets her thumb move over your wet lips, already bruised and puffy, "Such pretty lips.." she says again. Dark green eyes rake over your body.

"Wanda, please.." You whimper, moving your hands above you. The rope burns your wrists with every tug.

"Use your words, pretty girl," Wandas tone is strict as she comes back with a large strap attached to her hips.

"I want you to fuck me please.. I need you."

The last three words seem to trigger something in Wanda, her actions pausing to look at you. "Say that again, pet," she inhales deeply and climbs onto the bed.

"I-I need you," you speak weakly, your face red as the words leave your mouth. Wanda closes her eyes for only a moment, relishing the words. She settles herself between your legs.

"Already so wet, just from tasting me?" Wanda asks with a devilish smirk, two fingers tease your entrance. You nod pitifully. Her fingers slide in easily, making the two of you moan in sync. "Y/N, you're so tight.. gotta stretch you out so you can take my big cock." Her fingers pump faster inside of you, stretching you out just like she promised.

"Wanda, I want to touch you," you whine, still moving against the rope. Wanda smirks and shakes her head.

"No, you're going to let me use you."

"Please," you whine again, tears welling up. Her fingers curl. "Please!" You raise your voice.

Her other hand moves up, a sharp slap stings your cheek. You want to cry, but you only moan out in response. Wanda takes your face in her hand, your cheeks squishing in her strong grip.

"You better fucking listen to me, pretty girl. Or I'll tie your legs up too. Do you want that? Huh?" You shake your head quickly in her grip. "No ma'am," you say quietly. Her fingers curl again in the perfect spot, and you feel yourself getting closer. Wanda feels your walls squeeze her fingers, and she removes them too quickly. A few tears finally fall as you're denied release.

With a crooked grin, she opens your mouth with the hand that holds your face. Her now wet fingers slide into your mouth. "Taste yourself, baby.." Wanda chuckles darkly as she feels you suck on her fingers.

"Good girl."

She removes both of her hands to spread your thighs apart wider, lining herself up. Wanda slides the faux cock in effortlessly, feeling you practically swallow her. The moans that left your mouth were enough to make Wanda snap her hips roughly into you.

"Oh my god, Wanda!" You moan as she fucks the strap into you relentlessly.

"Fuck you take me so well, pretty girl," Wanda pants out in between thrusts. One of her hands move from where they gripped your hips to wrap around your throat. Her green eyes were settled on your lips again.

The amount of pleasure you were feeling was overwhelming. The way her strap disappeared fully inside of you with each thrust, the way it rubbed against your clit persistently. It didn't take long before you felt amother build up.

"Wanda I-I need to cum, please? Can I cum?" You beg her, knowing it was what she wanted to hear. She groans, fingers tightening around your neck.

"You can cum, pretty girl.." Wanda smiles down to you. "But I'm not going to stop," she says. More shivers run cold down your spine.

Wanda was true to her word, fucking you through your first orgasm as you scream her name. Her thrusts didn't falter as she continues to pound into you.

"Tell me.. again," She grunts, the grip around your throat squeezing harder. You gasp for air as she leans over your body, lips kissing up your neck.

"I need you," you rasp out. Wanda lets out a pornographic moan, hips rutting into you. She bites down hard on your neck, teeth sinking into your skin. You wince and moan loudly as she turns your head to the side. You wonder if she broke skin.

Your thoughts are confirmed when she lifts her head, a small bit of blood coating her bottom lip.

"Again," she says. Another orgasm was quickly approaching with how sensitive you were, and tears fell from your eyes. You had never felt so much pleasure in your life, and you never felt so much excitement.

Well, only once before...

"I n-need you!" You half moan half yell into the room. Wanda grunts in response, thrusting impossibly deeper inside of you.

"I know you do, pretty girl. You need me to take care of you, don't you? Make you feel good," she's panting harder, words coming out more broken against your neck again. Wanda marks your sensitive skin.

"You need me to fuck you like the perfect little girl you are -Oh Fuck- need me to make you feel alive." Another orgasm washes over you at her words, your eyes close tightly as your body trembles underneath her.

"Yes, yes, Wanda, I need you," you rasp again, voice practically gone from all the moans she's brought out of you. You felt her hips stutter.

"Fuck, fuck," Wanda groans in your ear, along with a few other curses in another language, you assumed her native tongue. Her pace slows to a stop. You finally are able to open your eyes, seeing her looking at you with a bloodys lips. Her green eyes are fixated on your own bruised lips.

Wanda leans forward and kisses you with such passion that your chest fills with excitement all over again. But as you taste your own blood, you feel your shadow nearby.

You watch Wanda return with what looked to be lotion. She had on now a shirt and sweatpants and had dressed you in one of her shirts and sleep shorts after cleaning you up.

"Come here, darling," she whispers sweetly, a familiar underlying tone. Wanda sat on the bed and pulled you into her lap. Her hands took the lotion, rubbing the red marks on your wrists. You sigh at the soothing feeling and rest your head on her shoulder. She kisses your forehead.

The times before, sex with Wanda had been on the rough side, and she told you that's how she liked it. You told her how your old flames were boring, vanilla, always ending in you faking it. Wanda brought something out in you that you didn't know was there, a spark. It was true what she said. She made you feel alive again. You were suddenly itching for a paintbrush.

This time, though, tonight, was something totally different. A different side to Wanda, something darker than you were expecting. You still felt as though you were missing something.

"You'll stay the night?" Wandas sweet voice interrupts your train of thoughts again, and you smile, leaving a kiss on her neck.

"Yes, please.." You whisper back.

Wanda holds you closely, your back pressed against her front. You could feel her even breathing, tickling your ear and neck. Her grip was strong around you. There was no moving away from her. You didn't want to, though. She was warm, soft. The bed smelled of her usual vanilla and mint. You felt yourself easily drifting off to sleep.

Your body and mind were too tired to think, too tired to worry, and too tired to focus on the fact your shadow was there watching.

In the morning, you awake to an empty bed, the sun trying to peak through the half open curtains that hang above the tall windows. You inhale deeply, taking in the scent of Wanda. Sitting up, you stretch your arms, realizing your body was still sore. You assumed Wanda was in her office working, so you quickly went to the bathroom.

Upon looking in the mirror, you took in the various marks she had left on your body. A bite mark where she broke skin, a few dark marks where she had claimed you. Your wrists were still red, and bruises in the form of fingerprints littered your hips. You felt a shock of pleasure go through your veins.

As quietly as you can, you sneak down the stairs, still in Wandas clothes. You smell fresh coffee as you pad down the familiar front hallway. Opposite to your usual therapy session room was Wandas office. The door was cracked open, and you were surprised. All the times you've come, it's been shut, sometimes even locked behind her.

Your hand touches the hard surface, slowly opening it all the way. You expect to see Wanda sitting there at the large wooden desk, but she's nowhere to be found. You walk inside and look around, finding it similar to the room across the hall. A large bookcase took up one of the walls, a few filing cabinets on the other, another fireplace, and some plants scattered throughout.

After looking around, you take a seat in the leather chair behind the desk. Papers scattered atop, the dream journal you gave her, and a few files of different patients she must have.

You look at a silver frame that held a photograph, showing a young brunette Wanda and a young boy, you assumed was her twin. Behind them, a man and a woman, who Wanda looked just like. You can't help but smile at the family photo and turn your head to the next picture frame. An older, grown-up Pietro with dirty blonde hair this time, his arm around a red-

Your stomach drops.

Your skin was burning, your entire body setting off an alarm.

With shaking hands, you grab the picture, stand up, and will yourself to take another look. An older, grown-up Pietro with dirty blonde hair, with his arm wrapped around a red-headed Wanda.

You walk only a step away from the desk, feeling like you were about to faint. The room began to spin. You set the frame down and grab the journal, skimming over the pages. Certain words catch your eye:

"Run." A menacing whisper, a familiar tone.

Behind the mask, under the hood, red strands of hair peak out.

The shadow kneels down, a gloved hand reaching up to brush their thumb across your lips.

"Such a pretty little mouse.." The shadow whispers.

You throw the journal across the room. Your hands move to the desk, opening the patient files. Empty, all of them. Blank pieces of paper to bulk them up. You throw them, scattering paper throughout the office. Your hands then reach for the picture frame, staring at the photo of Wanda and her twin. You think of the sessions you spent with her, back to last night. How could you be so blind?

Your shadow appeared a few months after your fling with Wanda, but then they disappeared? Wandas' voice filled your head.

"Last year I had to go home for quite a while to help out my brother, Pietro."

You need to leave. You need to get out of here right now. Everything in you was screaming.

A noise at the door causes you to jump, and the picture frame you held falls to the ground, glass breaking at your feet. Wanda stands in the doorway, sipping a cup of coffee. She was dressed in dark jeans and hoodie, casual.

"I thought the red would be a little more dramatic. It reminded me of that picture," she points to the photo on the floor in the now broken frame. You don't dare to move. Wanda takes another sip of coffee. "We went through a little rebellious phase, dyed our hair."

"Wanda.." You beg, taking a step back. She steps into the room and broken glass crunches beneath her shoes.

"Yes, little mouse?" Wandas crooked smile returns, a shiver up your spine. You close your eyes shut at her words, opening them back up to see her set her mug on the desk.

"It-It was you?" You rasp, hands reaching for the wall behind you.

"Of course it was. Come on, Y/N. You knew, deep down. You hid it from yourself.. Victimized yourself. When, in reality, you were begging for it. You told me you needed me.." Wanda blinks, speaking like it was a casual conversation on a cool Sunday morning.

She takes another step towards you, but you move along the wall away from her. Your head shakes furiously from side to side, anger building up inside of you. Wanda tilts her head to the side, a smile still on her face.

"Admit it," she beckons.

"Oh, fuck you, Wanda! Y-You played with my head, broke into my house!"

"And you enjoyed it! You told me you did, darling. Did you forget?" Her hands reach to her desk, pulling a drawer open and grabbing a file. Wanda throws it in your direction, landing on the floor in front of you. "I felt.. excitement.." She quotes you from one of her sessions.

You reach down quickly, not taking your eyes off of the dangerous woman in front of you, and grab the file. It was yours. Filled with confessions, quotes, everything you spoke to her about.

"You wanted someone, me, to bring you back. Give you a purpose." Wanda shakes her head at you.

"What fucking purpose, Wanda? So what, we meet at a-a fucking Christmas party and you think you can stalk me?" Your hands fumble with the file. Wandas demeanor changes at this, her slowly smile fading.

"We met before Natashas party." Her tone is harsh, you take another step away.

You try to think, but your mind is racing, trying to think of any moment in your life you had met Wanda. Surely you would have remembered. You were frightened, but you'd be stupid to say she wasn't beautiful. Hand picked from the Gods. You would have remembered.. why can't you remember?

"Wanda, just let me leave, okay? I won't tell anyone," you try to reason with her. She laughs loudly, the sound filling the room.

"Oh, little mouse. No one will believe you anyway! They didn't before, why would they now? Believe what - a woman with a history of mental illness? Someone who threatened to shoot her neighbors before trying to blow a hole in her head?" Wanda laughs again, shaking her head. "Over your psychiatrist, who has already documented each and every session. Filed away and reported accordingly."

"I waved that gun around because of you! You made me feel that way!" You yell at her, but Wanda only smirks.

"We both know that's not why.. Just admit it, Y/N," her voice is soft, but the look in her eyes is enough to know she's anything but. You look at her, confused. "Admit that you enjoy our little game," Wanda steps forward.

"What game, Wanda?" You don't move from the wall as she steps up to you. Your heart races out of your chest.

"Our Cat and Mouse game," Wanda says with a smirk, your blood runs cold.

"Just accept the fact that you enjoy it, and everything will be so much easier.." Her hand comes up to cup your cheek, her thumb running over your lips.

You take in her words, you take in the way your body reacts to her simple touch, the way it ignores all of the warning signs in your mind.

You weren't crazy.

You had a shadow, and now she was standing right in front of you.

Your eyes move to the door, Wanda chuckles as you do and takes a step back.

"You can run if you want," she starts, reaching behind her back. "But I will punish you.." Wandas' hand returns with a short knife. A black handle with an intricate design, a sharp blade medium length.

'What did you feel?' You imagine Wanda ask you as she sits across from you during a session.

Fear.

"And when I find you," she continues, licking her lips. The crooked smile returns. "I will fuck you."

Excitement.

#marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x fem!reader #elizabeth olsen #dark fic #dark wanda x reader #dark wanda maximoff

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letstripdotcom · 3 months

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shut up my moms calling- chris sturniolo x fem!reader

a/n i love naming my fics after songs bc then i listen to them on replay while i write.

summary- coming home from college means seeing the kid you’ve hated most your whole life. chris sturniolo. you’ve hated everything about his existence since the beginning of 6th grade when you transferred to somerville. the summer after your freshman year of college is when everything starts to change.

warnings- long(ish) smut ofc, mention of toxic relationship, choking, pet names (princess, baby, pretty girl) overstimulation {i think that’s all!}

6th grade

i just moved from oklahoma to a small town outside of boston called somerville. it was my first day of 6th grade and i was everything but excited to go. i had a good amount of friends in oklahoma, and absolutely none in massachusetts. if it were up to me i would have stayed, but i had no choice because my mom got offered better work down here.

i walked into the crowded classroom with my schedule in hand. “is this mrs sawyers class?” i ask quietly. “yes it is, and you must be y/n?” she looks up at me through her glasses. “y-yes” i utter nervously. “nice to meet you, have a seat wherever” I walk to a more empty side of the classroom and take a seat.

“newww girlll” i voice calls out in a mocking tone when i sit down. when i look up i lock eyes with a boy with short brown hair. hes sat with his 2 triplet brothers and another one of their friends. “yeah?” i say quietly. he starts immediately attacking me with questions

“where are you from? why are you here? what school did you go to last? did you have friends” i’m overwhelmed as questions pour out of his mouth. “chris you’re freaking her out” his brother says. “i’m nick.” he smiles at me. “that’s chris, obviously, and that’s matt”

“hey nice to meet you” the third one says. “oh and that’s nate.” nick says. i nod my head looking at the 4 boys. “i’m y/n” i say. “y/n?” chris says under his breath almost inaudible. “excuse me?” i say turning my head to look at him. “what nothing.” he tries to play it off

“who decided on the name y/n, your mom or your dad?” chris asks with a disgusted but confused look on his face. “it was my mom’s best friend’s name before she passed.” i explained. “tough” he muttered. the whole rest of the class period was filled with his snarky remarks and questions.

over time, as i got closer to matt and nick, the snarky remarks from chris turned into full on arguments. anything i would say would lead to chris having something else to say. i could tell him my head hurts and he would say something along the lines of “maybe if you wouldn’t think so hard about what to say and just shut the fuck up for once that wound be a problem.” i would just roll my eyes and go back to talking to nick

this behavior lasted all the way through senior year of high school. i stayed close with nick and matt, which means i was stuck with chris. we got in several heated arguments over the years and they all led to me leaving the triplets house at 2 in the morning because i couldn’t physically be around chris.

our last big fight was the weekend before i left for college. nick wanted to host a small party of about 15 friends for me since i wouldn’t be seeing him again til the summer. we were setting up the decorations and chris was being extra annoying.

“chris can you actually help out and stop acting like a fucking toddler.” i snapped at him while he stood under me watching me hang up a banner. “maybe if you weren’t nagging at me every 30 seconds.” he complained. “i wouldn’t be nagging if you wouldn’t stand in my way instead of actually contributing to anything in this world” i yelled, stepping off the ladder as i finished hanging the banner.

“you act like i wanna do this party. i don’t give a fuck about you.” he spat “i might not even show up tonight because you’ve been a bitch all day long!” my heart dropped and i felt a lump form in my throat. bitch? me and chris never got along but he never called me a bitch

he knew how much i hated it because of a past relationship i had. during junior year, i was in a super toxic relationship with a kid from our school. i was so naive i had thought he had actually liked me but it turns out i was wrong. we would constantly argue and he would gaslight me into forgiving him.

i stared at chris blankly as tears formed in my eyes. “y/n i-“ “fuck you chris.” i cut him off “and yeah i think it’s best you don’t show up tonight.” i ran upstairs to the bathroom and wiped away my tears. i checked in the mirror and adjusted myself before going back down.

present day

i hung up the phone with nick and got in my car. i was on my way home from college for the summer, and i finally got to see my best friend. he’s so excited that he rented out a cabin by the lake for a whole week to celebrate. i haven’t seen any of the triplets since i left, i haven’t seen chris since before the party. chris. my stomach dropped and my heart started pounding when the realization hit that i would be seeing chris.

i didn’t want to see him at all. nick said he changed a lot, and maybe he did, but you can never be too sure. and he did change a lot physically. chris was much more attractive then he was in highschool, not that he’s ever been unattractive, other than his personality.

about a few hours later i called nick to tell him i was close to the cabin. i pulled in and nick darted outside. “omgggg it’s been forever” i squealed as i got out of my car. “you have to see the place!” he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the back of the house. “there’s a hot tub, a massive pool and all of this space.” he gawked at the house. we went inside as he gave me a tour of the house. “this is your room!” he announced pointing inside.

i looked around and it was absolutely beautiful. “thank you so much nick this is amazing” i hugged him. “don’t thank me too much” he said “i had to put you in the room across the hall from chris, i hope you don’t mind because i’ll work something out”

“no that’s totally fine, i’ll just pretend he isn’t even here” i smiled. he smiled back “okay i’ll be downstairs getting everything ready bc we’re gonna have movie night tonight just like high school.” he said as he left my room.

after i got settled in, i took a shower. i picked out my pajamas which was just a big t shirt and shorts and i headed down stairs happily. “there she is!” matt exclaimed, giving me a hug. “matt i missed you so much!” i said hugging him back

after i pulled away, i made eye contact with chris, who was glaring at me and matt. i shot him a calm smile and looked away. wow chris got really hot. you thought to yourself. no, chris is awful. but i couldn’t help but notice his fluffy hair and his defined jawline.

i noticed his sun kissed face, which made his freckles stand out. god i could only imagine what he looked like with my leg- no. remember what chris said to you. i snapped myself out of my thoughts and sat by nick on the the couch. he handed me a blanket and i cuddled up next to him and focused my eyes on the screen

my focus only lasted for about 30 seconds before my mind was back on chris. why hasn’t he spoke to me? because he hates me. duh. i wonder what he’s thinking right now. why am i so worried about chris? “you okay?” nick asks from beside me. “yeah i’m fine” i say in a convincing reassuring tone.

after the movie ends, i say goodnight and i head up to my room. i get situated in my bed, and i try to fall asleep but i can’t. my mind is flooded with thoughts of chris, and the next thing i know my hand is down my pants. what has happened to me?

this is chris sturniolo, the kid who’s bullied me for 7 years. i never imagined i would be getting off to the thought of him at 2 in the morning. i need to go to bed, but i physically can’t.

i get up out of bed and dig through my bags. i grab my pink swim suit and put it on. a get a towel from my bathroom and quietly head down stairs. i go out the back door and get in the hot tub. i zone out and try to find peace of mind.

i sit there with my eyes closed until i hear someone else getting in the water. i open my eyes, only to see chris. great. this is exactly what i need right now. “look y/n” his voice breaks me out of my thoughts. “i’m really sorry for the way i’ve treated you, you didn’t deserve any of it. but, we’re older now so i wanna put the past in the past”

“i forgive you” i say flatly. “really?” he seems genuinely shocked. “can i kiss you?” i asked immediately regretting what i said. “what?” is all he says before i grab my towel and run inside.

i lay on my bed for a split second before i hear a knock. i know it’s chris, but i still go to the door and answer it. i look up at him with a guilty look on my face. before i speak he’s slamming his face into mine.

he kisses me very passionately like he’s been waiting is whole life. he pushes me into my room and shuts the door behind us. he turns me and pushes me against is as he kisses me harder. one of his hands come up and squeeze my neck slightly

i moan into his mouth causing him to squeeze harder. i moan again growing super wet between my legs. one of my hands come up to tug on his hair, while the other one makes its way up his shirt.

with one hand still around my neck, he guides me over to my bed and lays me down flat as he climbs on top of me. “can i?” he asks, toying with the strap of my top. “pls chris” i whine. he unties my top and yanks it off, his mouth immediately meeting my nipple, his available hand massaging my other breast.

i throw my head back and moan as he does whatever he wants. next thing i know, his hand is coming off my throat, and down my body. he stops abt my bottoms before looking at me for confirmation. i nod desperately. his cold hands slip into my bottoms as his fingers meet my clit.

i’m a moaning mess at this point, begging for whatever contact i can get. “god you’re fucking soaked.” he says, his voice raspy and quiet. “fuck chris please touch me.” i beg “whatever you want princess” he says before putting his ring and middle finger inside of me. he quickly pumps in and out for a few seconds before i cut him of. “chris wait” i say

“are you okay did i do something wrong?” he questions. “no but i have an idea.” i tell him. i then instruct him to lay on his back and put his head on the pillow. i watch as he does what i say. once he’s situated i ask him “can i sit on your face?”

i laughed a little inside about how innocent it sounded. “of course princess” he says. i make my way closer to him as i put my legs on either side of his head. i slightly lower myself down, enough to make contact.

my legs shake as i try to hold myself up while he eats me. he lifts me up a little and says “don’t be shy baby, suffocate me.” he grips my waist harder as he pulls me down all the way onto his face. my back arches at the contact.

chris eats me like i was his last meal, i grip the headboard, and struggle to stay quiet while his nose rubs my clit. “chris i’m g-gonna cum” i whine. one of his hands come off my waist and grabs my ass, massaging it. my legs squeeze his head. and i moan uncontrollably as i release all over his face.

after i come down from my high, i get off and straddle his waist. i lean down and kiss him, tasting myself. i grind on his hard on while we kiss, making him grunt. i reach my hand down and palm his boxers as his body twitches.

i go for the band of his swim shorts and slowly pull them down, exposing his hard dick. i look him in the eyes, to get his consent “y/n please” is all i need to hear before i slowly stroke him. he moans and tosses his head back

after a few more strokes, i sit up and line myself up with him. i slowly lower myself onto him, wincing at his size as i feel him in me. once i’m fully sat, i sit still for a minute to adjust. once i’m ready i start bouncing up and down. he puts one hand on my waist to guide me, as the other one makes it way to mu sensitive clit.

“ughh chris don’t stop” i whine as i ride him. my words make him rub my clit even faster than before. my eyes are now practically stuck in the back of my head as i moan out for him. when i’m about to finish, i clench around him, making his mouth fall open. i come all over him, as he helps me through my high

“good job princess.” he grunts i keep riding him until i feel him twitch. “you feel so good pretty girl. i’m almost there.” i clench again, becoming slightly overstimulated. just then he releases, inside of me. after he comes down i slide off and plop on my bed.

“you okay princess?” he asks with concern “overstimulated” is all i can bring myself to mutter. chris picks me up and lays me in a more comfortable spot on the bed. he then heads to my bathroom and comes back with a towel. he helps clean me off before he finds the shorts and shirt i had on earlier.

he helps me put them on, then he puts his shorts on and goes to his room. i feel sad in that moment. how could he to all of that just to leave? just then he enters my room with pajama pants on. “don’t worry i’m not going anywhere.” he whispers as he crawls into bed with me.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n: kinda love this what do u think?

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo

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sh0tanzz · 3 months

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Who do you think would be the mtl jealous bf in riize?

OMGG ive been waiting for an ask like this 😭

MTL JEALOUS BF IN RIIZE based on astrology ~

(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew them myself !!)

Most

Sungchan - Tbsh his jealousy would be pretty overboard and extremely obvious like a blaring red signal. He would NOT play about you. His cancer moon makes him pretty sensitive and obvious with his emotions so if he felt jealous he'd get in his feelings or even sulk/ruminate as well as he'd take it pretty personal and have a hard time letting go. His leo venus makes him pretty dramatic 😭. This venus paired with his moon might make him cause a scene or "act out" . His venus+moon leads to him wanting your care and attention on him and him alone. His cap mars screams possessiveness and being restrictive, he'd get so possessive do not let him see you laugh at another guys jokes or be helpful to another guy he'd be FUMING .

Wonbin - I honestly wasn't going to rank Wonbin this high but then I remembered his taurus mars paired with venus square pluto and pluto conjunct lilith so...here we are LMFAOO. From my own personal observations taurus mars is way more possessive in comparison to taurus venus; those pluto/venus/lilith aspects paired with his mars can make his jealousy take a snowball effect leading to an emotional avalanche. Plus a power imbalance fueling the jealousy even more and leading to him being restrictive. However, I ranked him below Sungchan because Sungchan would be VERY petty and loud about his jealousy while Wonbin would most likely silently seethe (due to his pisces sun, aquarius mercury) until he ultimately can't handle holding back, but until then his jealousy would still be DEEP.

Shotaro - His scorpio moon+capricorn venus makes him take the relationship pretty seriously. He craves stability and honesty and once he feels like his jealousy is compromising the security and trust in the relationship he must act ! He won't be too quick to jump into conclusions because of his libra mars, he'd probably think things through before asking/acting on his jealousy..and he might front and pretend he's only a tiny bit jealous/concerned when really it's weighing heavy on his heart in the beginning. When he is jealous he'd be more quiet and less jovial than he usually is. He'd be pretty straight up and might even just ask/tell you about how he's feeling. When things are clarified things will be cool again and he'll go back to being your sweet taro and hopefully stop staring daggers into the random guy talking to you while smiling.

Anton - Very unserious, would text "what position he got you in" and move on with his day. KIDDDING kind of 😭 He'd have short phases of possessiveness due to his taurus venus. His moon square saturn and venus square neptune can lead to slight paranoia and being unable to naturally express his insecurities which could be the source of the jealousy. Despite these things he wouldn't express his jealousy in toxic or overboard ways, he'd probably express his jealousy through jokes or non seriousness hoping you would pick up on it (you probably would with that mercury aries, straight to the point) If he ever did tell you straight up he wouldn't be too harsh he'd just want to be honest and being reassured will patch everything right up.

Sohee - I ranked Sohee this low because honestly when reading his chart I feel like his jealousy would, similarly to Anton's, be quick to come and go. He'd be quick to say something or show that he's uncomfortable. He wouldn't sit you down to have a serious convo about it, but it would have to just passively come out in conversation . As soon as he felt reassured then he'd be fine once again. Now if it was an ongoing issue of scenarios that led to him being jealous then he'd have a more serious even messy approach (his mars square pluto) his temper would awaken. But outside of that he trusts you, even if he doesn't trust and is suspicious of the guys around you he trusts YOUUU at the very end.

Seunghan - Oh the lovely boyfriend that just wants to keep the peace. He wouldn't want you to hound him out of jealousy so he ofc wouldn't do that to you either. If he was jealous he'd be more emotional rather than being petty+aggressive. His mercury is exalted in virgo so he'd definitely want to talk about it or at least let you know how he feels. Outside of that I think he'd want to avoid such a thing in the first place. He'd trust you as best as he can and wouldn't want there to be an imbalance in the relationship to where one of you are restricting the other due to deep seated jealousy (thanks to his libra sun+venus and sag moon). He quite literally just wants you two to be happy and knows that genuine jealousy can poison such a good thing.

Eunseok - I'm sorry fellow briize but this man is quite literally the least of your concern. His aries venus wouldn't want to make things too serious and ominous with jealousy (plus because he values his freedom so in his mind you must value yours too right ?) His sag mars paired with it means he doesn't want to dwell with thoughts of you possibly giving your attention to other guys. He basically has a nonchalant "she knows where home is" mentality lowkey. Plus if he ever did feel jealous he'd probably not say anything because his cap moon+pisces mercury would barely let him properly express it (with words at least). Also weirdly enough he'd be more jealous if you weren't in a relationship compared to if you guys were; once you two are officially together he wouldn't be as jealous anymore .

Least

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silverstonesainz · 6 months

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mine, mine, mine

─── the one where you and carlos have that dreaded conversation frat!carlos x reader 5.4k words prompt: "wait, don’t go yet, please” + “you're all mine, you got that? i'm not sharing” + accidentally referencing them as my’ which led to the ‘what are we?’ question warnings: profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of drugs, kind of suggestive, descriptions of a toxic relationship.

d rambles. . . i combined a couple of prompts because i thought they would all work really well together, hope that’s okay!! anyways, i did what i always do and made this… well happy reading!!

come over tonight

you stare at the text on your screen, thumb swiping against the screen. a grey bubble pops up, three dots. he types, then it disappears.

to study … or not.

you bite down on your bottom lip, placing your phone screen down on your chest as you stare up at the ceilings. there was an easy answer to his invitation, and it ends with your pride and ego intact. you won’t have to suffer through another round of self-doubt or the imminent heartache the boy always seems to leave you with.

but it also means no carlos. it would make today three weeks since you saw him last, three weeks since he was all over you, every inch of you. you shudder at the memory, the ghost of his touch against your skin.

you inhale sharply, picking your phone back up as you type out a response.

text you when im on the way

the closer you got to the fraternity house, the worse your gut feels. you have your hands slot between your arm and sides to keep them warm from the crisp autumn air. it’s uncharacteristically quiet on 5th street. no parties or kick backs, it’s pretty much a dead week for greek life. but even so, there were still cars lined up outside of the phi gamma theta house, some you’ve seen and others not. carlos’s blue ferrari is parked just a couple feet from the walkway to the door. you glide your hand along the glossy paint, the warmth seeping into the pad of your finger. he must’ve arrived not too long before you.

the music is loud, loud enough that not even the walls could muffle the beats. the bass thumps against the door, shakes the knob as you reach out to twist it open.

it’s almost embarrassing how unphased the brothers in the foyer are by your entrance. even more so at the way lando seems to have been expecting your arrival.

“hey you!” the brit grins widely, arms outstretched to pull you into a hug. “haven’t seen you in a while. missed having you here at the house.”

your arms go around him, hand rubbing his back as he squeezes you tightly in return. “been busy.”

“you’re always busy,” lando pulls away, hands gripping your shoulders as he looks you up and down. “carlos is in the kitchen with max.”

you blush, nodding as you mutter a soft thanks. lando pats your back, walking past you and over to oscar who is nearly asleep on the couch. you wave and exchange subtle nods as you walk across the house and into the kitchen. it smells heavily of garlic, a little too much like garlic. you scrunch your nose, making your way over to the counter where carlos and max are leaning up against.

max spots you first, smile wide as he waves. it closes their conversation, forces carlos to turn towards you. you try not to read into his reaction, the way he smiles or the bit of relief as he sighs. you try not to acknowledge that he might be happy to see you.

it’s nothing. this is nothing.

the dutch boy opens his right arm for you and you gladly walk into him. he gives you a squeeze, tight against his side as he calls you something in his mother tongue that you can’t quite place. the moment is short lived, releasing and allowing you to walk the two steps over to the man who invited you in the first place.

“hi.” you say softly, head tilted up towards him with a shy smile.

he smiles back, leaning in to press a kiss onto your lips. “hi.”

your cheeks heat up, stepping over to carlos’s side as he and max pick up their conversation again. they exchange a couple of words about some event they’re throwing before the spaniard is patting his brother’s shoulder and the boy walking away with a soft see ya.

carlos hums, pulls the strap of your backpack off your shoulder before slinging it onto his own. he holds his hand out, muttering a soft c’mon. you take his hand, slotting your smaller fingers between his own ad allow him to lead you out of the kitchen. the house is buzzing with conversation, competing with whatever mix is playing on the loud speaker. “was the drive over okay?”

“yeah,” you breath, “yeah it was fine.”

he let’s go of your hand at the base of the staircase, gesturing for you to step ahead of him and you oblige. several brothers say goodnight as the two of you make your way up, and you return a tight lipped smile and wave. the further up the stairs, the further down the hallway, the quieter the house becomes. most of the doors are left open, some a crack and others wide enough to see a mess that makes your skin crawl. you stop at a forest green door, waiting patiently for carlos who just smiles.

“it’s unlocked.”

you nod awkwardly, gripping the bronze knob and twisting the door open. contrary to the rest of the house, carlos��s room is neat. freakishly neat— like sheets tucked under the mattress and pillows stacked by size neat. it smells of cologne and weed. it smells like carlos.

you kick off your sneakers and placing them by the door before plopping yourself onto his bed. you watch as he moves about his space, setting your bag down next to your feet before he begins to fiddle with the himself. he pulls his sweatshirt off hangs it off the back of his chair before pulling his sneakers off his feet and pushing them into the bottom of his closet. then he turns, scratches the back of his head as he looks you up and down. you smile awkwardly, lips parted to break the tension but carlos beats you to it.

he takes long strides across the tiny room, right hand cupping your jaw as he presses his lips hard against your own. you yelp, surprised as you fall back onto the bed. carlos breaks his fall with his opposite hand, lips not missing a beat in your new position. you’re stunned only for a second before your fingers find their way into his hair as you kiss him back with just as much veracity. it’s messy, desperate, makes your heart beat so fucking hard you’re sure it’ll crack through your ribs,

he digs his teeth into the soft flesh of your bottom lip gently, prodding a moan from the back of your throat. it’s soft, quiet as you try to keep up with carlos, but enough to have him smirking into the kiss. he pulls away, eyes wide as he scans your face.

“missed you.”

“did you?” you tease, pushing a strand of his hair backwards.

“i always do.”

butterflies. it flutters, sits in your gut as you try to bite back a smile. you tried to look unconvinced, rolling your eyes playfully as you push back on his chest and effectively off of you. he chuckles, leaning back onto his elbows as he watches you reach over his bed to pull your bag up.

“you don’t believe me?”

you pull your computer out, “mmm, not really. i just think you’re horny.”

it’s carlos’s turn to roll his eyes. he pushes himself up, leaning over to you to kiss you again. “i can’t miss you and be horny too?” you snort, shaking your head as your fingers begin to click at the keys. you can see carlos tilt his head in your peripheral. “what are you doing?”

“studying”

his hand rests flat against the back of your laptop, shutting it in your lap and taking it away to place on his desk. you sigh his name, protest quietly as you let him drag you onto his lap, legs settled on either side of his hips. you whine when his hands sneak their way up your shirt and begin to palm your breast over your bra.

“carlos.” “hm?”

his fingers slip beneath the padding, kneading harder. you inhale sharply, shakily, looking down at him. he pays no mind to the look you give him, jaw slightly offset as he watches the way his hands move beneath your top.

“study.” “mmmm… no.”

his hands pull away from your chest, coming down to the hem of your shirt so he can peel it off you.

you let him.

“but you said-“ “later, bug. relax, let me show you how much i miss you.”

studying happens an hour later, spent on your stomach on his bed while he’s at his desk scribbling away. the house has quieted down, the music no longer thumping against the door and the mixed chatter all but died in the night. it’s nearly eleven.

you hum, shutting your computer and pushing yourself off your comfortable position. you begin to pack away your things, stuffing notebooks and highlighters away where they belong before picking up your clothes discarded on the floor. jeans and an old t-shirt, and the beige bra by the door. carlos drops his pencil, turns in his chair as he watches you pull his shirt off your frame.

“what are you doing?”

“it’s late.” you say matter of factly, folding the grey material before tossing it on his bed. you pull the straps of your bra onto your shoulders, reaching behind you to clasp the prongs together. “gotta get home.”

“spend the night.”

you snort, shaking your head, “i have an eight am tomorrow.”

“so do i.”

you jump into your jeans, buttoning them before leaning down to press a kiss to his lips, “can’t tonight carlos. but maybe tomorrow?”

“well i got a date party tomorrow, but…”

you freeze, but only for a second. it’s brief, just a moment where you feel your spirit shake beneath your chest. just one second then you’re reaching down to swipe your shirt off the floor. you didn’t now of any date party, and you could feel a dull ache in your chest over the fact he didn’t invite you. he isn’t obligated to, he’s not obligated to do anything when it comes to you. but you just thought—

you shake it off. you thought. you thought. that means nothing. you have nothing left else to say, so you pick up the pace. you rush to pull your bag over your shoulders.

“then, i’ll see you when i see you. three weeks from now maybe?” it’s a petty dig, a poor attempt to get the last word in as you force your heels into your beat up sneakers.

“ai, don’t be that way.”

“i’m not being any way.” you insist, hand clutching the knob. you’re about to pull it open but carlos is quick to lean his weight against it, left palm flat on the dark green wood.

“it’s not my date party. i was invited, okay?” he tilts his head, cranes his neck so he meets your eyes even if you so desperately try to avoid his gaze. “lando is getting with the girl’s little and… i’m there for moral support. i’m there for him.”

his thumb and index finger pinch your chin gently, force you to look up at him and his stupid stupid wide eyes. he doesn’t say anything else, just watches and waits to see what your next move is.

you don’t want to show that you’re relieved, you’d hate for him to see what kind of effect he has on you even if you’re pretty sure he already has a clue. that’s why he explained himself, why he makes you look up at him while his stare remains so soft— so reassuring. but you are. you’re slightly relieved, reassured, and not as upset as you were working yourself up to be.

but only just slightly.

“fine.” you mumble. “well. just text me when you have the time.”

it’s snarkier than you mean for it to be. you can tell by the way his expression falters for a second— just one second— before he pulls his weight off the door and allows you to open it.

“i’ll walk you out. that okay?”

you nod, hands clutching at the straps of your backpack before stepping out into the hallways. you walk several steps ahead of them, past shut bedroom doors and composite photos that dated back before your time. you hear carlos pad behind you, making no attempt to close the gap between you.

it’s weird to see the house so quiet and with so many lights off. most of the men have retreated back into their rooms, only oscar and jack in the kitchen as they talk quietly with each other. both australians don’t notice you or carlos as you pass, too deep in whatever it is to care. carlos stops to push the door open, muttering something about finishing up and going to bed, before he continues to follow you to the front door. speakers are left set up, lando’s dj equipment left messily on the pong table. it’s a mess of wires and a poor attempt to make the foyer looks party ready.

carlos pulls the front door open for you, shuts it behind you as he follows you to your car. and it’s only when you’re about to pull at the driver’s door does he finally pull at your wrist. he turns your body towards him, fingers gliding down to cup your hand in his larger one.

“we’re gonna have a kickback here after the date party. come by.”

“not sure my presence would be appreciated.” “well i don’t care. it’s not their house and you’re my—“

he stops himself. you’re my and then nothing. your heart stops in your chest, knocks the air out of your lungs. you wonder if you’ll ever hear the end of that line, if you’ll see the day he’ll say it.

carlos exhales through his nose, smiling as he releases your hand to cup your cheek. “just come tomorrow. okay? and if anyone has an issue with it then they can fuck off.” you cough a laugh, a short ha ha that makes him smile wider.

“i’ll text you.”

“okay.” “okay.”

quiet, comfortable silence. you ignore the way your stomach does backflips, let yourself instead settle in the bit of security his invitation provides. he wants you around. maybe this time it’s different.

carlos leans in, pulls you to him as he kisses you for the last time that night. it’s firm, warm, soft. it fills your chest, makes it swell as you kiss him back. he pulls away for a moment before planting one last peck.

“drive safe, okay? text when you get home.”

what time will you be back at the house?

you were ready. embarrassingly enough, you were ready to head to the phi gam house and carlos had yet to text you when it was appropriate to arrive. and from the multiple instagram stories you just watched, the date party was likely still ongoing.

your phone pings, and you unlock it in an instant. embarrassing.

date thing just ended. come in 30? we still have to set up. new members didn’t do it right annoying

you grin at your screen. embarrassing.

maybe older brothers should be setting a better example i’ll come around 10 then. need me to bring over to the house?

you push yourself off your bed, sit at your vanity as you stare at your make up for n-th time in the last hour. you press down on your smile lines, flatten any creasing, blend your blush. you do just about anything to make thirty-something minutes fly by quickly. your phone pings again, one with a reaction to your text and then another reply.

just bring yourself. see you soon bichito.

you leave it at that. homework makes thirty minutes fly by quickly. a little too quickly. after submitting your discussion for the week, forty minutes have flown past you and you were scrambling out of the house. you say quick goodbyes to your roommates, who only give you a funny look when you take a pizza from the box on the counter and yell goodbye. you type a quick text to carlos to let him know you’re on the way before starting your car and driving towards 5th street.

you see the purple led lights through the window, hear the soft thump of lando’s mix muffled by the walls of the phi gamma theta house. the closer to the door, the louder the crowd becomes. the door swings open, alex smiling down at a girl as he holds it for her. his eyes meet yours, wide with shock. but a happy sort of shock.

“hey you, didn’t know you were coming tonight!”

you ignore the way the girl looks you up and down. “yeah. hope that’s alright?”

“of course. carlos is inside, bar i think.”

you mumble a thanks, walking past him into the house before he closes the door. the kickback is a little bigger than you anticipated, with enough bodies in the room for it to feel stuffy. you smile at girls who smile your way, say hello to brothers who are excited by your arrival. and time and time again, you are directed in the direction of carlos.

as alex said, he’s at the bar. he’s leant up against the bar in a grey long sleeve and black jeans, red cup already in his hand. leant up against the bar talking to charles, laughing at something he said. he looks glorious, leant up against the bar.

god.

carlos sees you before you get to him, smiling over at you as he raises his arm to make room for you to fit into his side. he presses a kiss to your temple when you’re close enough. “was wondering where you were.”

you say hi to charles, and to yuki behind the bar. “sorry. got caught up on homework.”

he hums, nods. yuki sets a red cup on the edge of the bar, flicking his chin. “vodka sprite?”

you smile gratefully, saying thank you over the music as you lean across carlos to grab the cup. you ask how was the date party— mini golfing, if you want to get specific. it’s a simple question, one that sets charles off into a list of complaints and carlos into a fit of laughter. he’s such a fucking cheater! no charles, you just suck.

“i saw him nudge the ball, i swear!” charles protests, handing his cup over to yuki who refills it immediately.

“mate. what the fuck do you think we’re supposed to be doing in mini-golf?” carlos laughs.

“not nudge the ball before it’s your turn.”

you laugh, leaning back into carlos as he tightens his hold around you. “i dunno charlie, it sounds like you’re just a sore loser.”

the monegasque scowls, eyes squinted and lips pursed. “you’re biased.”

“of course she is,” carlos answers, “she’s my girl, who else would she side with.”

my girl. my girl, my girl, my girl. you smile, even if your heart is racing at a thousand miles an hour, even if your throat tightens and seems to run dry. you sip on your drink, watch as charles smirks and rolls his eyes.

“whatever.”

you try not read into it. try to go about the night not thinking of the way carlos called you his girl, how sure he sounded. but it’s hard, hard when it’s all you hear as the night carries on. that’s my girl is imprinted onto your skin when he says it after you sink a ball during a game of pong. my bug when you return from the bathroom. mine, when an unknowing brother has your attention for longer than carlos liked.

“you're all mine,” he whispered when he finally pulls you from your conversation, “you got that? i'm not sharing"

my, mine. my, mine.

his. his. all his.

you’re attached to carlos until he is whisked away to help george with something. then you’re left alone, wandering around the house. you hop from conversation to conversation, play catch up with a few girls until you finally make your way to the dance floor. lando stand before the turntables, twisting knobs and pushing buttons as he smoothly transitions into the next mix. you dance some, alcohol loosening you at your joints and making it so much easier to move. you swing your hips left to right, jump up and down, do it all until your legs ache and you’re out of breath.

you squeeze between bodies, eyes searching the crowd for carlos. but you see everyone else but him. he’s no where to be seen, but neither was george so you shrug it off and push yourself towards the clearing of the crowd. you walk around people, making your way up the makeshift platform and over to lando, who shoots you a toothy grin as he presses one last button and backs from his equipment.

he hugs you into his side briefly, lips moving into your ear, “thought i saw you! where’s carlos?”

“with george!” you answer, eyes falling to the table. “how much longer you up here for?”

“ah, on my last song before we switch back to aux… wanna have a go?”

you shake your head, but he smiles and tries to convince you otherwise. he explains the basics, none of it sticking to your vodka-muddled brain. and just as another beat drop approaches, he points to a button lighting up blue. press on this when i say. he smiles cheekily, pushing levers and twisting knobs before nodding and calling out now. you do as you're told, bringing a semi-smooth transition into the last song of his set. you laugh, lando smiles. he holds his palm up for you, one you gladly slap enthusiastically while he praises you.

“now you can dj for us at our next party!”

you giggle, shaking your head as you stand back, watching as lando begins to slowly transition out of his mix and plugging the aux line into his laptop to play a playlist made for nights like these. then he’s stepping off the platform, holding his hand out for you to help you down. you walk with him, around the house and past his drunk brothers and sorority women, all the way to the bar where oscar now stands. lando convinces you to a round of shots with him, and refills your drink halfway. your head is light, body floating. you were on cloud nine and all you need…

your head whips around, eyes scan the room. you look for a mop of dark hair, the broad shoulder, looks for just glimpse of him but once again, he’s nowhere to be found.

“you know what carlos went to help george with?” you lean in towards lando, setting your cup down on the kitchen island. you watch him look around the room the same way you did just seconds earlier before shaking his head.

his eyes are still across the room, but he leans in towards you so you can hear him over the music. “no clue, but george is over there talking to mick so… carlos is probably around here somewhere.”

you try to hide the disappointment, the bit of anxiety that is starting to make its way through your bloodstream. you snatch your cup back up again, bringing it to your lips as you drink the remnants of your mix before tossing the red plastic in a bin. you let the brit know you’re gonna take a lap before making your way around the house. you’re pushing past people again, finding your way through every hallway and room, pathetically looking for a man who has seemingly ditched you at his own house. you’re walking in circles like a lost puppy.

carlos walks back into the home through the front door. you catch him just as he shuts it behind him, with his hair in disarray and eyes glazed over. he’s confused, disoriented, trying to adjust to the stark contrast between the quiet outside and the chaos inside. you watch as he scans the room, acknowledging brothers who wave over at him with a flick of his chin and a half effort at a wave hello. he looks and looks, and finally he sees you.

you’re about to walk over, to greet him and ask him where he’d been. but then the door opens and she walks in. you’ve never met the girl, never seen her in your life. but what you have seen is that glow. the shy smile she wears as she tucks her hair behind her ear and retreats to her sisters that wait excitedly for her. you recognize that look, and that’s when it clicks. the hair. the eyes. the disappearing for god knows how long.

you feel sick.

you want to run. you want to scream. your skin is on fire with rage. you turn on your heel before he takes his first step, storming into the living room area in search of your purse. brothers and their partners for the night are scattered around the room, and you try to ignore the multitude of making out and groping going on as you search for your purse.

you hear him call your name behind you, but you ignore him. you pull at the pillows and he calls your name again. you move over to the next couch, and all of sudden you feel his hand on your wrist and you’re yanking yourself out of his hold. your eyes are wide, angry, with your index finger in his face as if to tell him to stop.

“don’t you dare.”

“it’s not what you think.”

you scoff, turning around and pull at the pillows again, finding your bag beneath the mess of throws. “it’s never what i think, always what you say. that’s what’s always right, right?” you sling the thin strap over your shoulder. you don’t bother to wait for his answer, pushing past him as you make your way towards the front door.

he calls out your name again, a groan following after. “can you… just wait. don’t go yet, please.”

you ignore him, ignore the looks you’re getting, ignore the whispers, everything. the door swings open as you twist the knob, but you never hear it slam shut because carlos is hot on your heels.

“you’re mad over nothing!”

that makes you stop. it makes your blood boil, makes the anger grow, and it makes you stop. you inhale sharply— shakily. “nothing?”

“there wasn’t anything going on, nothing was going on. you’re upset over nothing.”

you turn on your heel to look at the man who stands three feet ahead of you. his brows are furrowed— annoyed— and his lips are parted as he breathes.

“it’s always nothing. it’s always no big deal.” you scoff, “i’m always overreacting. right?” he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even bat an eye at the words that spill out of your mouth. “you are the most insufferable man i have ever met, carlos sainz. you drive me fucking crazy, and not in a good way.” you push your hair back roughly, pulling at the strands as your fingers glide down the length of it.

“will you please come inside so we can talk?”

“no, i’m going home.” you turn again, pushing around your little purse for your car keys.

“you’ve been drinking.” carlos reasons, to which you laugh.

“not enough!”

“for fucks sake, can we just-“ he tries to pull you back to him again, and you pull out of his grasp immediately.

“no! we cannot just. i’m so…” your eyes begin to water, tears blurring your vision. god you hated every second of this moment. here are again, showing just how fucking weak you are for man who continues to play with you. for a man who has given you no good reason to stay and yet is also a man you always come back to. “we’re not talking about this. i’m so tired carlos. i really am.”

“come inside please. let’s just—“

“i’m not coming back inside!” you scream. “i’m not going to walk back in there and let you convince me to spend the night, because i will. i don’t want to lay in your bed while you try to convince me that i was just seeing things because… you will. and i’ll be stuck in this fucking cycle and i just can’t fucking do it anymore.”

carlos’s lips are clamped together, nostrils flared as he stares at you. he watches the tears that escape you, the tension weaved into every muscle of your face. you both stand there, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do.

then he says your name, resigned. it sounds deflated, like smashing against the keys of a broken piano. “but this time, it wasn’t anything i swear. whatever you’re thinking, it didn’t happen.”

you look up, hoping to stop the tears from falling but it’s hopeless. you’re so fucking hopeless.

“so you didn’t fuck her?” you sniffle, looking at him with bloodshot eyes. he shakes his head and you stiffen up. “didn’t touch her?” he hesitates, but shakes his head anyways. and you scoff. “you touched her.”

“i didn’t fuck her.” “but it doesn’t negate the fact!”

your shoulder slump, defeated. your heart aches in your chest, crumbles at you feet and onto the cold pavement of fifth street. “it doesn’t fucking make a difference carlos. it still fucking hurts. it’s still a fucking slap to my face.”

the wind is cold, prickles at your skin like needles. your eyes fall shut, pushing tears from your eyes and onto your cheek. you feel the pad of his thumb against the skin of your cheek and you flinch. your body stiffens, but you allow the ounce of affection. you allow yourself to soak in the false sense of security for the briefest of moments, just to quell the ache that is burning in your chest. but then you open your eyes and you’re reminded that when you walk away— if you walk away— it will hurt a million times more.

truly, you were sick of this cycle. of running back to him after he keeps you at an arms length away for weeks. you let yourself enjoy the little moments of security, knowing full well how it ends. you’ve been here before, you’ve walked this walk. but no matter how many times you go through this, the ache never dulls.

carlos cups your cheek, the pad of his thumb rough against your skin. and you lean into his touch because it’s comfortable, because it’s the only thing that feels right in a moment filled with so much wrong.

you open your eyes to look up at him, blink away the tears that obscure your vision. you inhale shakily. “what are we doing carlos?” a soft hm buzzes past his lips, and you sigh. your hand comes up to grip his, to pull it off your skin. but you keep it in yours, stare down at his rough palm that lays open in your hands before looking back up at him. “you say i’m yours. say you’re mine, mine, mine. and i just… what are we? what are we doing?”

you release his hand, watch as he stares at his palm, flexing his fingers before letting it fall to his side. carlos bites down on his bottom lip, breathing steady, and his eyes stuck on the pavement. it’s a beat, and another, before his chest heaves as he draws a deep breath in.

“you are so important—“

you shake your head, the tears come back and you make your way to the driver’s side of your car. important to me, he finishes as he follows behind you quickly. he chants your name like it’s meant to convince you to stay. like it will heal you of all the hurt he’s caused, like it makes his answer okay.

and maybe it is. logically, it’s a perfectly acceptable answer. if you were a friend. and maybe you toed the line a bit, maybe to him you were just a friend. but to you, carlos is more than that. he’s more than some guy that you have a bit of fun with, but a guy you’ve slowly begun to fall for. and you fall and fall, brace yourself for impact because you know he’s not going to catch you.

he calls your name, says please with so much desperation in his voice as you pull your door open. begs you to stop, and you do. you stop halfway into your car to look at him with the tears still pouring from your eyes. you smile sadly, pathetically, as you shrug.

“important,” you say, “but not enough. right?”

#🔖 house party #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz blurb #frat carlos

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perictione00 · 8 months

Text

Sex Education

Part 2

Pairing: Professor Toji x reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut, reader is 20, Toji's in his early 30s, unprotected sex, oral sex, anal sex, Toji is pretty toxic in this one. A bit of breeding kink and manipulation?

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

Part 1

You didn't know if it was because of the many drinks you had or the hazy atmosphere around you but your roommate was looking so pretty under the neon lights of the club that you just couldn't stop yourself from kissing her. What surprised you was the fact that she didn't waste any time exploring your mouth with her pierced tongue. As you were making out, you felt her hand squeezing your ass which compelled you to boldly grind against her. She suddenly stopped and led you to the ladies' restroom, pushing you against the wall of one of the stalls as she closed the door. "Are you okay with this cause I don't know if I can stop", she asked as she continued sucking on your neck. Your confirmation was all she needed to get rid of your top and unhook your bra. You were a moaning mess as she sucked on your tits while her hands kept massaging your clothed sex. She went down her knees, unzipping your shorts, keeping your panties for later, and started sucking on your clit. The last thing you both remember is getting to your room that night only to end up fucking yourself crazy on her double-ended strapless dildo.

"Oh, honey.. you fucked up big time", Toji said as he scowled at your confession. He knew that you were new to all this but he never expected you to seek pleasure from wherever possible. You had this unhealthy obsession with praise and of course, Toji had shaped you into his perfect lil minx however your last night escapade was unpredictable. He wondered if he was jealous of the fact that someone else made you feel that way or if he was enraged at the fact that his ego was bruised by your audacity to give in to a girl your age or maybe both. He was sure of one thing though and that is he was gonna fuck you so good that the only thing you can think about is him. Call him childish, he didn't know what your relationship was but no way in hell was he gonna let you go that easy, perhaps he was a simp for you.

"I take my eyes off ya for a sec and ya whore yourself out to a child, I have to say I'm disappointed", he said with a straight face. Toji started stripping you slowly, staring intensely at the hickeys all over your body. "That's it, bend down", he ordered as he adjusted the office table for your better positioning. Without any warning he spanked you once, twice, he didn't need you to count, it was for him to enjoy not for you to anticipate, you had lost count after five anyway since you were busy pleading. Toji stopped after he was satisfied by the rosiness of your ass.

"Aww.. don't cry now there's more to come sweetie", he stated as he wiped your tears.

With your back on his chest, Toji started fiddling your nipples, all the while teasing your clit with his free hand. The action was torture nonetheless it brought you some relief. You tried to relish in the torment until Toji stopped altogether and directed his wet hand towards your asshole. Toji spat on his hand and entered a finger into your ass. This was weird, it was slightly painful and you were simply terrified of what was to come. Toji entered another finger, earning a scream from you which later turned into a moan which made him achingly hard. He continued his abuse till he was sure you were ready for the main course.

Toji kissed you deeply while he stripped himself completely. He finally entered your ass and to his surprise instead of a terrifying scream you moaned painfully but loudly. He almost felt guilty as his attempt to go slow melted away the moment he was balls-deep in you. He was fucking you like a savage, unable to care about the sobbing moans coming out of your mouth. What dragged him out of his trance was the way you sat up halfway, jerking your hips while gripping his to pull more of him into you, grinding in an attempt to meet his thrusts. He groaned wildly as he felt you twitching around his cock, lifting your leg to allow himself to stroke deeper. He kissed you deeply as he splattered his cum through the rings of your abused hole.

"Toji.. please..I need you...I haven't-", you were cut off by a burst of laughter. Toji was smirking as he halted his movements and placed your desperate form on the table, leaving you there just to sit on the couch in the corner of the room.

"I don't know if I wanna do that y'know, I'm not exactly elated with the stunt you pulled yesterday, high and dry should be the perfect method to discipline you, don't you think, love", his mocking words contrast the sweet nickname he was calling you, knowing all too well how much in need of a relief you were. You continued begging, crawling to him on your knees, taking his dick into your mouth, sucking him just so he could take you again. Toji was enjoying your trained mouth on him, your lewd expression and helplessness was turning him on.

He instructed you to ride him and like an obedient lil girl you tried to fit all of him in one go. Toji laid back amused by your urgency to reach an orgasm, your frantic movements gave away the desire of wanting to be in a state of bliss as if you were deprived of it your whole life. He saw your vulnerability, an opportunity, so he took it, grabbing your hips firmly to prevent any further motion he asked scornfully, "Ahh..baby..wanna go back to that inexperienced child you fucked around with for some play time?"

If you thought Toji was any better than most humans you were absolutely wrong. He was a petty man who couldn't let other children play with what he owned. He was a degenerate who would go far just to assert his dominance over what was rightfully his, so of course he wasn't gonna let you off the hook easily. He needed you to accept that he was the pleasure that you craved, the only person who could mark your body as his, the only one in your life. Call him manipulative or whatever, he wasn't gonna feel guilty for being selfish when it came to you.

"I'm soh..sorry Toji, please..fuck me. I was drunk, I'll never drink, I'll do whatever you say..just .. please", it was too much already and you could only say so much.

"Get this. You're my whore, mine only. This pussy, this body and all your devotion belongs to me. You try that shit again and I'll fuck you so hard that you're knocked up with my brats. Oh wait.. you'd like that won't you, judging by the way you're squeezing me..oh shit.. you'll look good, all swollen up..ahh fuck", Toji started thrusting with a fast pace as his imagination drove him crazy. The tempting idea lit you up in a way he hadn't seen- somewhat animalistic. You moaned, kissing him deeply wanting the alluring scenario of being plump with his child to come true. The both of you were fucking each other like rabbits in heat, filling the room with sinful and obscene sounds.

"Fill me up Toji, I want it so bad", you said in between your moans. Toji was proud of how he had molded and reduced you into nothing but a perfect slut only for him to use. He was gonna make sure that your world surrounded him and only him so he used his best tactic as you both fucked through your climax and said-

"I love you."

497 notes · View notes

lowkeychenle · 2 months

Text

Is It Over Now? [ZCL/PJS] (M)

Description: Your relationship with Chenle is nothing but fight after fight. Amidst the toxicity, infidelity comes into play--except you're determined to one up him...but is it ever truly over?

A/N: this is inspired by Taylor Swift's Is It Over Now? and I highly recommend listening to it because omg...but also...keep in mind this poll and this poll determined the trajectory of this fic LOL

Genre: Smut/Angst

Content Warnings: This is very dirty idk y'all i'msosorry...but basically content warnings are infidelity (both reader & chenle, explicit on reader's part), some very crazy arguments (there are no physical fights but these can be triggering), explicit, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, use of pet names: baby, pretty girl, slut, whore (once maybe), and any variation of those. Buckle up y'all, this one is kinda crazy. Also kinda open ended sawry

Word Count: 11,198

Taglist: @nominsgirl @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @chezziy

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader | Park Jisung x fem!Reader

Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)

You know exactly where everything went wrong.

It’s what led you to the current situation you’re in—on top of one of your boyfriend’s closest friends with his hands all over you. Anger burns in your bones, and if you were capable of it any longer, you’d be crushed to dust at this point.

The roll of your hips causes a curse to fall from Jisung’s mouth. He grips your ass, the rough fabric of your jeans catching on his nails. The man under you is just as pissed as you are, and some sick form of revenge clouds both of your brains. He sinks his teeth into your bottom and tugs. If you’d felt at all guilty when you started this, it’s long gone now.

At least you and Jisung won’t be caught together in public.

“He’s a fucking idiot,” Jisung hisses under his breath as you continue to grind on him.

You chuckle. “I know. It’s not the fucking first time either.”

He pulls away from you, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at you. The passion has all but melted from his face, but both of you are left panting.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he asks.

“I thought you knew.” The last thing you wanted was for this to be an emotional encounter, and if you let yourself think of how you trusted your boyfriend again after the first time he cheated, resentment will turn to pain. No. You fucking refuse.

“I would’ve told you,” Jisung continues, hand sliding up from your ass to the small of your back. “You really think I would’ve kept that from you?”

“All due respect, Jisung, but I’m not looking for a heart-to-heart right now.”

His jaw tightens, and the care resounds in his eyes, but he nods and reaches up to grip the back of your neck. He kisses you harder this time, his tongue dancing with yours as he starts unbuttoning your shirt. The fabric is silky against your skin, and feeling him so close to you has your fragmented heart racing in your chest and chills spiraling down your spine.

“Hurry up,” you tell him. “He’ll be home soon.”

In response, he tugs instead, and the remaining buttons pop open before he pushes your blouse off your shoulders. You have a clear view of the door this way, where you and Jisung sit at the edge of your bed. Climbing off his lap, you shuffle out of your jeans. You watch as Jisung takes his own off, the prominent bulge of his length straining against his boxers.

A swirl of doubt punches you in the gut, and for a moment, you’re winded. Does the hurt Chenle caused you justify this? Should you be choosing this route instead of just leaving?

“You can change your mind,” Jisung says, shuffling closer to the edge.

Snapping out of it, you shake your head and straddle his lap. His bottom lip is taken between his teeth as you grasp his length, freeing it from its confines. A haze takes over his eyes, his hips lifting into your fist.

You move your panties aside and line him up with your entrance. He inhales sharply.

“Fuck, hold on.” He grips your hips. “It might hurt if you don’t let me—”

“Promise you it can’t be any fucking worse than what I’m already going through.” You pause. “Condom? I’m clean and on birth control, so it’s up to you.”

“I’m clean, too.” He nods. “Raw is fine. Good.”

You laugh at the awkwardness, but begin your descent anyway. A moan gets caught in your throat as you struggle to fit him further. Your walls pulse around his cock, and an exhilarating adrenaline makes you feel higher than you’ve ever been. This life wasn’t what you imagined.

You never thought your boyfriend would be capable of sleeping with anyone else, and neither did you think you would be. Yet, here you are, following in Chenle’s footsteps. Jisung was probably a shitty move on your part. At least Chenle wasn’t fucking your friends, but you wanted to make sure he felt your pain—if he’ll even care at all.

Once he’s completely inside you, you grip onto his shoulders, your body trembling. To ease you, he reaches down and thumbs your clit. He kisses your neck, nudging one of your bra straps down your arm. You let out a sigh of pleasure, rolling your hips.

“Yeah, he’s fucking stupid.” Jisung hums into your skin, squeezing your ass. “You…fuck, you feel good.”

“Hope it was all worth it for him,” you mumble, slowly starting to lift your hips up.

He assists you in your pace, an arm around your waist to help. After a few moments, the awkward stretch becomes pleasure. You curse under your breath and pick up your pace, eyes rolling back as he thrusts up to match you.

Each movement of his is punctuated by short, low groans, and your entire being tingles from how deep he is inside you, how this is somehow a signal of your freedom. His tip presses against your cervix and you cry out.

Jisung slaps your ass, and the desperate tug inside you to speed up becomes too much to ignore. In your delirium, you almost miss Chenle standing in the doorway. Maybe you’re imagining it, but as you fuck yourself on Jisung’s cock, you stare right at him, a weak laugh escaping your lips.

You roughly tangle your fingers in Jisung’s hair—something you know drives Chenle crazy when you do it to him—and tug him up to kiss you, moving your hips faster. The other man’s presence just spurs you forward.

Jisung’s fingers connect with your clit again, and your broken moan and blurry vision almost make you miss the way Chenle’s jaw tightens. Your orgasm takes you by surprise, slamming you into a wall of pleasure as you spasm on top of Jisung. Right before your eyesight fails you completely, you see Chenle walk away.

Jisung spills inside you, coating your walls with white. You kiss him hard, panting as you lift yourself off him. He’s dazed, but eventually settles himself back in his boxers before getting up for his jeans. You redress, knowing full well Chenle’s waiting in the kitchen. It’ll most likely be an argument, but you can’t help the adrenaline flowing through your veins at the thought.

Jisung is still blissfully unaware Chenle’s in the house, so when he pulls you in for a kiss, you sigh. You grab his hand and lead him out of your bedroom, and the sight of the other man gripping the counter makes him freeze.

Chenle downs the rest of whatever’s in his cup—it’s safe to assume what the bronze liquid is as he swallows and cringes. He doesn’t look at either of you.

“You should go.” Glancing at Jisung, you catch the worried gleam in his gaze.

“Will you be okay?” he asks.

“The fuck does that mean?” Chenle snaps. “Get the fuck out, Jisung.”

“Call me if you need me.” Jisung hesitantly leaves your side, and once the door closes behind him, you slide your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

“Really?” Chenle finally breaks the silence. “You could’ve picked anyone, and you fuck Jisung?”

“That’s what you’re mad about?” You snort and walk over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. Untwisting the cap, you turn back to Chenle, unaccustomed to his glare being directed at you. “What? It’s okay for you to fuck anyone you want, but when I do it, it’s wrong?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t fuck anyone but you.”

“You really think I didn’t see that?” You shake your head, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “There were pictures, you dumbass. And now I can’t even act like I’m ignorant. I can’t act like you love me anymore, Chenle. Be serious right now.”

“Oh, right, because being seen with a girl has to mean I’m fucking her, yeah?” He runs his fingers through his hair. “You’re just insecure, (Y/N), and I can’t fucking help you with that. Did you think fucking Jisung would make me want you more? May as well add crazy to the list, too.”

Under different circumstances, you know those words would kill you. They’d be like bullets fragmenting in your heart, but today? For some reason, everything shut off. You don’t want him anymore, and your irritation sparks at the base of your spine.

“You putting this on me is fucking hilarious.” Your voice is sharp, and you hope you return his bullets as knives.

“We’re fucked.” He pours more liquor into his glass, a scowl on his face as he downs it. “Are you kidding me? I make a mistake one time, and you go out of your way to screw my friend? Did you think you could hurt me or something?”

“Don’t know.” You shrug.

“The sooner you admit we were over long before I ever slept with anyone else, the easier it’ll be for both of us. You’re being a child by inviting Jisung over here.” His grip on the counter tightens.

And just like that, something inside you snaps.

“You did this, Chenle. You fucked up, you ruined everything, you are a piece of shit.” You jab your finger in his direction. “At least I had the decency not to get caught in public. You don’t even care at all. Not even a little bit. And it’s so fucking frustrating because I do everything for you.”

“Bullshit,” he says.

“Was it over when you brought that girl here? Was it? Because you cried and begged for me to stay. You said it was a mistake, and you’d never be able to love anyone the same way you love me. You really think it was over, Chenle? Then what the fuck are you still doing here?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You fucking did it again!” you yell, hands tugging at your hair. “You want me to be the bad guy so bad, but all of this is on you. The blame is on you. You’re the one that can’t keep it in your pants. What are you searching all these beds for, huh? You want something better than me?”

“Fuck,” he shouts, hand swiping across the counter.

Time slows as his palm comes in contact with his glass, as he sends it flying into the cabinet, as it shatters beneath his force. How fucking ironic you relate to it.

Your chest heaves, your heart twisting harshly. How did you get here? How did love turn into something so fucking awful, you can’t stand looking at him? The silence is deafening after the shards scatter onto the floor.

The visceral reaction you get surprises even you. You tilt your head back, your body shaking with laughter.

“You’re so pathetic.” Tears well in your eyes, but the laughs cause you to run out of air. You grip onto the counter. “I fucking hate you. I hate you.”

“(Y/N), I’m—”

“Sorry?” Another bout of giggles passes through your lips. “I don’t care. Don’t you get that now? I hate you and I don’t fucking care what you have to say.”

“Baby, don’t—”

“You said it was over, Chenle. Is it over now? Because I’m done…I’m so done, and I don’t want to look at you anymore. Get the fuck out of my house, and I never want to see you again. I fucking mean it.”

“I’m sorry. Please don’t do this. She didn’t mean anything, and I know Jisung doesn’t mean anything to you, either.” He steps closer to you, glass crunching beneath his feet.

“Should’ve thought about that before you did it again. Leave.” After a few moments of him standing there like a statue, you shout, “Get the fuck out!”

Your throat is raw from yelling, and you’re halfway certain he’s not going to listen to you. He doesn’t usually, but as bad as your fights have gotten, they haven’t quite been this bad. With thousands of emotions written across his face like poetry, he brushes his shirt off and storms past you, slamming the door behind him without one glance back.

Your heart pounds in your chest, each thump hurting more than the last. Nausea takes you by storm, and you’d collapse if you weren’t leaning on the counter for support. You don’t even know who to call. Nobody you know takes care of you better than Chenle does after moments like these, and as your shortness of breath takes over full swing, you turn and sink down to the floor.

But the first step to quitting a drug is to stop supplying it to your bloodstream. To feel the numb of the high seeping away while the pain comes rushing back.

The tears you refused to allow earlier pour down your cheeks, and you drop your head back against the cupboard. Glass gleams next to you, twinkling innocently in the light of your kitchen. Through your blurry vision, it’s almost beautiful—an array of lights in the darkness that plagues your home.

When you grab your phone, you don’t know who’s number you call. You press it to your ear and pray it’s not Chenle.

“(Y/N)?” Jisung’s voice filters through immediately, and it makes your body wrack with another sob.

“Are you far?” you ask, voice thick and warbled.

“Not at all,” he offers instantly. “Do you want me to come back?”

You close your eyes and sniffle. “Please.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in five minutes. Are you okay?” The hint of panic laced in his tone has new tears forming.

“Don’t know.” You wipe your face. “I don’t fucking know.”

However long it takes him to get there, you’re unsure. The next thing you recall, Jisung crouches in front of you, eyes wide with concern. Guilt sinks into your stomach and twists it around, and you look up at him like he’s the key to making you feel better.

“I’m so sorry,” you breathe out. “I’m sorry, Sungie, I don’t know why I did that to you. To him. I—”

“Hey, don’t worry about that right now.” His deep voice resonates in your chest, and it works to calm you slightly. He cups your cheeks and guides you up to make eye contact. “Are you hurt? There’s glass everywhere.”

You shake your head. “He wouldn’t.”

“There are a whole lot of things I thought he wouldn’t do. I have to make sure. Can you stand? Let’s get you away from all this.” He leads you to your feet, bringing you into your bedroom.

A few moments of silence pass as he helps you into your bed.

“Just get some rest, okay?” he whispers, his hands cupping your face.

“Where are you going?” you ask. “Don’t go, please.” You hold onto his wrist as if that’ll keep him with you.

“I’m just gonna clean up your kitchen,” he replies. “I won’t leave unless you want me to.”

You take a deep breath. “Can you stay for a few more minutes? I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

“Whatever you need. I’m here for you.”

You scoot over and glance at the spot next to you, and he obliges with your request. Both of you slide beneath the covers, and you turn to face him before burying your head in his chest. He cradles you closer to him, his warmth calming you slowly.

“Is this okay?” he murmurs.

His heart thumps erratically in his chest as he holds you, but the sound still manages to soothe you.

“Yeah,” you tell him, shuffling closer. “Thank you.”

He hums in response and presses his lips gently against your hairline. There are so many things wrong with your situation and your life, but for once, you feel a real equilibrium. Despite the pain wrenching away at your heart from the weight of Chenle’s absence, you find that all over again with Jisung’s firm grip on you.

Usually, when you and Chenle get into your arguments, the longest he goes without contacting you is two days. You’re now bordering on three and a half weeks, and the thought of him still makes you sick to your stomach. You haven’t heard a single word from him. Hell, you wouldn’t even know if he’s alive.

Jisung has become more of a rock than anything else. He’s equally as disappointed in Chenle as you are at this point, but he makes it a point to stay with you as much as he can. Today, for example, things are quiet. Peaceful. Your few weeks with Jisung have been so…different. You and Chenle couldn’t go more than a few days without an explosive argument, and now you haven’t raised your voice in all this time.

Jisung is soft. Kind, even. He shows you the side of himself you wish Chenle could’ve been before your relationship blew up into smithereens.

Your head rests on his shoulder, his fingers playing with your hair while his eyes are engrossed by the television screen in front of you. The lights are off, the sky is dark, but the gentle blues and greens illuminate the softness of his features.

“Sungie,” you whisper in an attempt to garner his attention.

He turns to you, his eyebrows raised. “Hm?”

“Why are you doing this for me?” you ask. “He’s your best friend.”

“He was.” Jisung nods. “And it sucks. But I’m not going to be friends with someone who treats people who love them like shit. You deserve so much more than that, (Y/N), really. He—what he did was fucked up.”

“I did it, too.” You shrug, fighting the way tears threaten to form in your eyes.

He wets his lips. “Yeah, but only after he did it twice.”

“That makes it okay?”

“No.” Jisung looks down at his lap, his hands fidgeting. “No, it doesn’t. But you were hurting and you retaliated in a way you thought would hurt him back. I would’ve done the same thing in your position.”

“You seriously had no idea what he was doing?” you ask.

“I didn’t have a fucking clue. He knows I would’ve told you immediately.” He sighs.

“Do you care about me?” You tilt your head at him, scanning over his face for any indication of annoyance. Anything that might tip you off that he’ll get angry with you.

He blinks once, a miniscule smile pulling at his mouth. “Of course, I do. I’d do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

He nods.

“Will you…will you kiss me?”

His jaw drops as he flounders for something to say. “That…”

“I’ll be honest with you, Sungie. My relationship with Chenle has been fucked for a really long time. I can’t remember the last time I meant it when I told him I loved him. But…I do. Love him. Miss him. It hurts like hell knowing he’s probably okay right now, with some other girl like I never mattered to him.” You inhale deeply, and your exhale shakes. “He’s all I’ve ever known. I just…want to make sure I can feel. That he didn’t get to keep all of that when he left.”

“And kissing me will do what?” He taps his fingers on his thighs. “What if it just makes you want him more?”

“I can’t. Going back to him is…I can’t do it again. But I need to know I can still function if he’s not the one…” you trail off, deflating entirely. “Nevermind. I’m sorry I asked, okay? I’m being ridiculous.”

You avoid his gaze entirely, staring off in the opposite direction. With Chenle, every touch, every kiss, every intimate moment was a direct result of something negative. It didn’t start that way, but it sure ended up there. Your mouths only met in anger after spewing hate at each other, and you’re not sure what a real, loving kiss feels like anymore.

Jisung reaches up and cups your cheek, directing your gaze back to his. His eyes dip down toward your lips, and your breath catches in your chest. It’s been so long since your heart has fluttered, but he makes it look so damn easy.

“You sure?”

The TV is long forgotten as you nod, your anticipation growing as he draws nearer. You forget to breathe, and once his lips brush yours, you gasp.

You close the last of the distance, the idea of being so close to him—to someone motivating you further. Kissing Jisung is worlds different from kissing Chenle. From the tenderness of his touch to the shape of his lips, not a single thing about him is reminiscent of Chenle. For some reason, disappointment weighs heavily on your chest.

But being with him is better than being alone, and you can’t deny the attraction being there. You remember the way he felt inside you, how he reached spots you didn’t know existed. You tangle your fingers in his hair, groaning against him.

“Jisung.” It comes out more as a whimper than anything else, and he freezes.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath.

Without another moment of hesitation, you throw your leg over his lap and straddle him, slowly sinking down until you feel him pressed against you. He grasps onto the back of your shirt.

“Are you thinking about it, too?” you ask, leaning in to kiss along his neck.

He gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I probably shouldn’t be.”

“Why not?” You lean back, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Is this weird for you?”

“Um.” He grips your thigh tightly, lips parting as he tries to think of what to say. “Not because of him, if that’s what you mean.”

Your chest tightens at the mention of Chenle, even without his name. Jisung agreed to be with you once, and you’re not sure if he was fueled by any attraction to you at all.

“All I’m saying is that I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for. When I tell you I don’t want to hurt you, I mean it.” He pauses, analyzing you. “C’mon, you’ve gotta know I want you.”

He pulls you closer to him, and your breath hitches when you feel how hard he is.

“I want you. But I need to be sure it’s really me you want.”

Your heart sinks. “Now you mean Chenle.”

“It’s not a bad thing, (Y/N). I get it. You’ve been through a lot with him and you have a bond I might not understand. That’s fine. But if we’re going to start something, it can’t be when you’re confused.” He runs his thumb along your bottom lip, unashamed as he stares at your mouth.

“I’m not confused, Sungie.” You shake your head. “I don’t want him anymore. When I said I was done, I meant it.”

“It’s okay either way. You were with him for a long time. It’s normal to hurt over stuff like this.” Jisung gives you a small smile.

“If you don’t want to right now, we can stop,” you tell him. “But it’s you I want. I promise.”

His fingers weave into your hair, inching you nearer to him. Right before your mouths meet, his gaze meets yours.

“I hope you know how many good things you deserve,” he mutters.

And then he kisses you, the softness of it taking you off guard. You melt into him, and despite hating how you notice the difference between him and Chenle again, you realize you might like this more than what you had before. It’s been so long since the person who was supposed to love you actually cared.

When his tongue meets yours, you sigh and hold onto him. He gets lost in you, hands gripping your hips to guide you back and forth on top of him. Even through layers of clothing, you feel how hard he is.

When a knock sounds on your door, you resolve to ignore it. You don’t care about whatever or whoever’s out there if you have Jisung. He tries to pull away, but you whine.

“Ignore it,” you tell him, your mouth still against his. “Ignore it. Please don’t stop.”

As soon as he kisses you again, a louder rapping noise follows, and you groan, dropping your head on his shoulder.

“You want me to get it?” he asks.

You shake your head, grumbling as you slide off his lap. “I got it.”

Without another word, you ignore the dampness between your legs and head over to your door with one last glance over your shoulder at Jisung. When you open it and see who’s standing outside, you recoil hard.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You’re not sure why you’re even entertaining this at all. Chenle stands before you, his eyebrows pinched together as he formulates his response. As to not alert Jisung of his presence, you keep your voice down.

“It’s been weeks and I haven’t heard from you.” He sighs. “I know we fought, but we never go this long without talking. I miss you.”

You don’t mean to laugh, but you do anyway. “You don’t miss me. I already told you we’re done. And I meant it this time, Chenle. You have to leave.”

“Why aren’t you letting me in?” He snorts. “Be fucking for real, we always end up right where we started. This time isn’t any different.”

“It is, though.” You pause, running your fingers through your hair. “I’m done. Honestly, if I never see you again, I’ll be better off.”

“You don’t really mean that.” He frowns.

“Yes, I do.”

“You can’t get mad at me for what I did when you did the exact same thing. We’ll call it even and start over.” Chenle stops, gaze mapping out every inch of you before he continues. “Why do you look like that?”

“Excuse me? Look like what?”

“Your face is all red, and your hair is messed up—” Whatever interrupts him has irritation creating a scowl on his face.

You’re only confused for a second before an arm wraps around your waist, fingers tapping against your hip. Heart twisting, you gape as you glance between Jisung and Chenle. Nerves eat away at you since you’re not sure what the latter will do, but you grasp onto Jisung’s wrist.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chenle lets out a short chuckle, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re both fucking insane.”

His words alone are almost enough to make you want to remove yourself from Jisung’s hold, but you know you’re safest right where you’re at.

But seeing Chenle in front of you again for the first time in weeks has you yearning for him. To kiss him, to hear him laugh, to simply just have someone who loves you. You have to keep reminding yourself that he doesn’t. Love hasn’t been in the equation for much too long.

“Let her go.” Chenle practically stares into Jisung’s soul. “See if she still wants you when you’re not holding her away from me.”

Jisung tenses behind you, and the hesitation behind his touch leaving you can only mean one thing—he believes him. He’s worried what Chenle is saying is true. That you’ll never want him in the same way you want Chenle.

Chenle’s gaze, so painfully familiar, settles on yours. Your heart sinks into your stomach as you recognize what this is.

It’s the beginning of the cycle.

It’s how he tricks you into thinking he’ll be better for you.

In his eyes, he begs you to come back to him. He makes you think that maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally be what you’ve wanted him to be. What you needed him to be.

“C’mon, baby, we’ll forget this ever happened. I don’t blame you for being lonely and needing someone. He was just there. I know.”

Through your peripheral vision, you see Jisung’s fist clench at his side. The longer you stay silent, the more nervous the man behind you becomes. Your insides are at war. Not even ten minutes ago, you were sure you wanted Jisung. You had been reassuring him of that.

Now, seeing Chenle again for the first time in weeks, you’re practically weak in the knees. You want him, but not the man you’ve grown used to. You want who he used to be in the beginning—the person who loved you endlessly, who always put you first, who never went out of his way to hurt you in order to make you small enough to want him back.

No.

Because 491 days ago, he broke your heart for the first time. He was never going to admit to you what he did. Instead, he hid it, and the only reason you found out was through a text message that came through when he was showing you something on his phone.

You’re tired of it. Of being hurt and picking up shattered glass when he doesn’t want to be called out for his shitty actions.

“You’re wrong,” you mumble, terrified of the words leaving your mouth. After all, this means he’ll be gone for good. You won’t ever love him again. “Jisung wasn’t just there.”

Chenle recoils, narrowing his eyes. “Right. Because you’re suddenly in love with him, huh?”

“I care about him.” You reach back and grab his hand.

“If you pick him right now, you better be damn sure that’s what you want,” he snaps. “You’re making a huge fucking mistake, (Y/N). He’ll never be me.”

“That’s good. I don’t want him to be.” You shake your head. “I meant it when I said I was done.”

He runs his tongue over his teeth before glaring at Jisung. “You’re fucking dead to me. Some friend you are, trying to steal my fucking girl from me. That was your plan the whole time, wasn’t it? You were just waiting for the opportunity to swoop in and save the day.”

“You did this yourself,” Jisung replies. “She wouldn’t be with me if you were enough for her.”

Your chest tightens, preparing for Chenle to retaliate. You squeeze Jisung’s hand, and his thumb rubs over your knuckles. Over the course of your much too long relationship with Chenle, you quickly came to realize how close he and Jisung were. They were best friends, inseparable, really, and now the only thing stopping them from fighting is you. Right in the middle, you stand between them physically and metaphorically.

Instead, Chenle glances up to the ceiling, a laugh escaping him before he turns around without another word and disappears down the hallway. You slap your hand over your mouth when a shaky breath surpasses your lips, quickly reaching forward to shut the door. You lean against it for a moment, resting your forehead on the wood as Jisung stands silent behind you.

“Are you okay?” he whispers. “That was a lot.”

You don’t say anything. Between the way your heart beats at a hundred miles a minute, how your brain swirls, and how your stomach twists, the only thing you can do is suck in a loud, sharp inhale as you fight the urge to bawl your eyes out.

He moves closer to you, putting his hand on your shoulder. The touch sends a pang through your body, and you have to smack him away. Everything is so overwhelming, and knowing Chenle is gone for good is making you question every choice you’ve ever made leading up to this moment.

Once upon a time, you were convinced he was the love of your life. You were sure things were going to be perfect forever, but God, how far from the truth could you have been?

Jisung stays silent while you regain your composure. He waits patiently, but every little sound is amplified in your ears, so the creak of the wood beneath his feet as he rocks back and forth has everything crashing down around you.

You crumble, but somehow in the midst of it, Jisung’s arm wraps around your waist and tugs you close to him so you don’t fall. Fighting your tears, you clench your eyes shut. Over the years you spent with Chenle, you learned never to show how much something could hurt you. Showing emotion to anyone gives them the opportunity to hurt you, and Chenle took it one too many times.

“It’s okay,” Jisung whispers, sinking to the floor with you. “Tell me what you need. I’m here for you.”

You take a shuddering breath, but instead of saying anything, you turn and bury yourself in Jisung’s chest. His heart pounds in rhythm with yours, but he doesn’t seem outwardly anxious. He talks to you softly in an attempt to guide you. You don’t want to put this burden on him. Even then, all you can think about is Chenle, and how everything is over.

All the effort you put in to overcome the problems he created. Every argument you thought was worth it because maybe this one would lead somewhere. Maybe this breakdown would encourage him to change. Maybe this home you created for him would finally be enough.

It never was, and it never will be. How could it? He’s more interested in keeping you just to say he can. Chenle doesn’t love you, and you don’t love him. At least, you don’t think you do.

“I’m sorry,” you say to Jisung, shaking your head. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

“I know.” He cradles you to his chest. “I know. It’s okay, now. It’s all over.”

But for some reason, that alone hurts more than anything Chenle ever said to you.

More days pass. They turn into weeks, and you honestly start to feel like you’ll be okay. This morning especially when you wake up to the sensation of Jisung’s lips on your neck. He hums against your skin, tongue tracing over your pulse.

You’d been nervous to initiate anything with Jisung again, but last night, one thing led to another, and the two of you ended up in bed with your legs around his waist.

Jisung makes you feel safe. You’re not sure what about that makes you crave him so much, but you easily melt into his touch. Pressing yourself closer to his warmth, you run your fingers through his hair.

“How are you feeling?” His voice is deeper in the morning with a slight rasp to it.

“Never been better.” You’re not lying. Everything with him is peaceful.

His hand moves down your side to squeeze your hip, and further until he’s resting on your thigh.

“Sungie,” you mutter.

“Yeah?”

“If you want something, tell me. Teasing isn’t nice.” You put your hand on top of his.

He chuckles, nipping at the base of your neck. “Maybe I just like touching you.”

“There are innocent places to touch.” You move him toward the apex of your thighs, suppressing a shaky breath. “But let’s forget those exist.”

You feel his smirk on your skin, and when he brushes against your clit, you curse quietly. He hooks his ankle with yours to give himself better access, and he finds your entrance already wet.

“You sure it’s me who wanted it?” He tsks.

You open your mouth to respond, but he slides two of his long fingers inside you. A moan escapes instead, and you feel a rush of heat to your cheeks and between your legs. Your brain is still fogged with sleep, which must mean that’s part of why it feels so fucking good. You fall into the pleasure, gripping the sheets in front of you.

“Can’t think of anything else but you,” he whispers, pumping his hand at a steady pace. “How you sound, how you feel, how you taste. Just you.”

Your eyes clench shut as you relish in the way he makes you feel, his gentle movements making you need him that much more. Rocking your hips, you practically melt into him. Something about the early morning sun and still being tired from the night before has you getting closer and closer without much effort from either of you.

His lips brush your ear. “Feel good, baby?”

Your walls clamp down on him, and you let out a moan in response to his question. Butterflies swarm in your stomach, and while you’re desperate to finish, you also wouldn’t mind sitting here like this forever.

“Jisung,” you whine. “Please.”

He tilts your head back and kisses you hard, his thumb finding your clit as he continues. You cry out into his mouth, back arching at the pleasure swirling around you. Your insides twist and turn and you’re only half-sure you’ll ever come down from this.

Unfortunately for you, the high fades as he guides you through it. Once he pulls out of you, you turn to face him. He brings his fingers up to his mouth, cleaning your arousal off as his eyes flutter shut at your taste.

You push his shoulder until he’s flat on his back, and when you straddle his lap, he stares up at you in awe as the blanket falls from your shoulders. Reaching down, you line him up with your entrance. His lips part, and he sucks in a quick breath.

You sink down slowly, thighs shaking as you allow him to fill you. He curses, his nails digging into your hips. The more you take him, the tighter his grip on you becomes. You missed the feeling of this—of being full and seeing the pleasure you could cause someone else.

Once he’s completely buried inside you, he holds you down by your hips, eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Don’t move yet,” he mutters, voice thick. “God, are you really gonna make me cum just like this?”

Jisung explores every inch of your body, his hands leaving your hips to squeeze your ass, tracing up until he finds your breasts. His thumbs rub against your nipples, and you jolt, doing your best to refrain from taking him the way you want.

“Can I move?” you ask breathlessly. “Please, Sungie.”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Of course, baby, show me how much you want me.”

You heat up at the sound of that, and when his grip loosens on you, you lift yourself up. The slow drag of him against your walls has you wanting to collapse already. He studies you closely, somewhat amused by your struggle to take him completely.

You move through your sensitivity, sinking back down and swiveling your hips. He thrusts up, and the tip of his cock hits your cervix. You whine, opting to continue your pace. As soon as he’s about to slide out of you, you allow him to fill you all over again.

He matches you, fucking up into you when you’ve already taken him halfway. Sounds of your arousal fill the room while he moves inside you, and he lifts his head to watch where he disappears in you.

You’re numbed by the pleasure, so much so that you’re barely able to hear the moans and quiet praises falling from his lips.

He squeezes your breasts, fingers tweaking your nipples. His eyes are everywhere, entranced by everything you are as you fuck yourself on his cock. A band starts to tighten in your stomach, but all you want is to make him feel good.

You grab one of his wrists, tugging down in the hopes he’ll get the idea. He places his palm flat on your stomach as he makes his way down slowly, slowly, smirking as you whine at him.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groans, thumbing your clit in perfect circles.

Your pace falters as you feel the euphoria approaching, unable to keep up. He stops, cursing as you clench hard around him. You let out a frustrated moan but opt to keep bouncing on him through your sensitivity.

“Don’t stop,” he commands. “It’s gonna feel better if you keep going.”

“Jisung, please.” Your walls flutter around him, and when he returns to your sensitive bud, you both know it won’t take long at all.

Your orgasm slams into you, but you force yourself to keep moving. Curses leave your mouth in a string as the knot unravels faster than you thought possible. Your walls clench around him. The tremor in your thighs makes it hard to keep moving, but you refuse to stop until he’s done.

He sits up, pulling you flush against his chest as he thrusts up into you. You bury your head in his neck and hold onto him tightly, the cloud of pleasure enough to make you lightheaded.

Once he’s as deep as he can get, he moans and spills inside you. Both of you pant, sweat making your skin stick together. And then his lips are on yours, soft in contrast with all of the overwhelming feelings happening.

His nails gently drag along your spine as he kisses down your neck.

“(Y/N),” he says.

“Hm?” is all you can muster.

“I really, really like you. A lot.” His mouth brushes against your shoulder. “And…this was probably the worst time to say that. But it’s true.”

“I like you, too.”

He doesn’t see your smile, but you feel his.

“No matter what happens,” he says, inhaling deeply. “Just know I won’t let you down, okay?”

“I know, Sungie.” You wrap your arms around him and pull him closer, still attempting to calm down from your whirlwind. “I trust you.”

He flips you over, holding himself up on his elbows while he presses a gentle kiss to your lips. “Gonna clean you up, okay?”

You hum in response, letting out a sigh when he pulls out of you. Waiting for him to return, you don’t move a muscle, instead, closing your eyes and basking in the feeling of warmth he’s left all over your body.

He cleans up the mess between your legs with a towel, and then he’s climbing back into bed next to you. Tugging you close, he scans over your face.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Is it about him?” You force the words out, but the thought of Chenle at a time like this has your stomach twisting in unpleasant ways. It’s better for you when you just…don’t think of him at all. Only then are you able to completely enjoy your time with Jisung.

He chews on his bottom lip, nodding once. “Yeah.”

“Of course, you can. You just can’t get upset at my answers.”

“I won’t.” He pauses, taking a deep breath as he traces his finger down your arm. “Do you miss him?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I mean, I guess a part of me does. But I don’t know if that’s me missing him or the craziness and the pain. Because after a while…”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “It’s okay.”

“After a while, the pain starts to…feel normal. Good, even. Like I trained myself to crave the dysfunctional shit we did. In my mind, I thought all couples fought the same way we did. And everyone says fighting is normal, and if you’re not, you don’t really care about the relationship. So, in some sick, twisted way, I saw those arguments as us just…loving each other. Loudly.”

“I’m sorry he did that to you,” Jisung replies. “It’s not right.”

“It wasn’t just him, Sungie. It was me, too. C’mon, I literally asked you to help me because I thought it would hurt him.” You laugh at yourself, but ultimately, the conversation tears the barely healed wound in your heart open all over again.

“Sounds like he pushed you there.”

“I still made that decision. I could’ve been the bigger person and kept my hands clean,” you explain.

“Do you regret it?” he asks, a genuine fear laced in his gaze. “Do you still want him?”

Your hesitation has his fear twisting into hurt, but his face doesn’t change. It’s just the emotions swirling in his brown eyes that give you any indication of his feelings.

“Listen to me,” you murmur, cupping his cheek and rubbing your thumb over his skin. “I don’t regret it. Do I wish we started this in a different way? Yeah, I do. But what’s done is done, and I don’t think it would change anything for me and him.”

He places his hand over yours. “I won’t pretend like I understand, because I’ve never been in that kind of situation before. I just can’t believe he would fucking do something like that. To you of all people.”

“Sungie, I’m not perfect.” You give him a tiny smile. “I’ve said and done things I shouldn’t have. Regardless of everything else, this was the ultimate betrayal, wasn’t it? He might have done it first, but I’m with you. It isn’t just sex.”

“This isn’t your fault.”

“Maybe not. But I don’t think it’s just his, either. We fell apart long before he ever cheated in the first place.” Tears well in your eyes, and you shake your head. “I don’t wanna talk about him anymore.”

He kisses your forehead, tugging you to his chest. “That’s okay. Let’s spend all day right here, okay?”

You nod. “I’d love that.”

Your first mistake of the day was leaving your house. You’re not sure what spurred you into going out to get takeout considering all of the leftovers you have in your fridge, but life is clearly too short to worry about semantics. Your sunglasses block the sun out of your eyes, and as you push the door to the restaurant open, you place them on top of your head instead.

You don’t notice at first. After all, you’re starving and Jisung is at his own house tonight, so the only thing you’re focused on is ordering your food so you can eat.

You tell the nice lady your order, and when you’re done, you feel eyes on you—a prickly feeling beginning at the base of your spine that slowly weaves its way up each vertebrae until you find yourself turning around against your will.

In an instant, your hunger is replaced with an ache that has your stomach twisting and curling. Chenle meets your gaze, sitting at the table in the far corner. Your lungs refuse to fill when you also recognize that he’s not alone. A girl sits across from him, and her back faces you. She seems too engrossed in the story she’s telling Chenle to realize he’s no longer listening to her. He’s honed in on you, on how stiff you’re standing at the mere sight of him.

You’re not with him anymore. Of course, he’s free to see any girl he wants now. Why are you so upset? You’ve got Jisung. There’s no need for you to feel this way, to feel how your heart beats painfully slow, threatening to stop altogether at the thought of his hands on her the same way he used to touch you.

At least you two aren’t together this time, right?

At least he’s not betraying your trust, your love, and your soul simply because he’s bored, right?

The lump in your throat is impossible to swallow past, and now all you want is to run home and never be seen again. Your appetite has diminished, and you feel yourself reverting back into who you were with him.

Whatever’s going on inside you is exactly the same as the two times you caught him while you were together.

You’re not over him. For some fucking reason, you still want him.

You curse under your breath, but you’re unable to pull your gaze away from his. Much to your surprise, he doesn’t look smug at all, but like he’s admiring you. As if he misses you, and whatever void he’s been trying to fill is just…perpetually empty.

The lady clearing her throat catches your attention. She hands you your bag, and you thank her and quickly depart the restaurant without a second glance at Chenle. While you refuse to let yourself cry, you can’t stop thinking about him even after you’ve been home for an hour. Your food remains untouched, and you pace around your kitchen like everything bad Chenle has ever done has dissipated into thin air.

You know exactly how this is going to play out. There’s no way in hell he’s not going to reach out to you, and you’re not strong enough to turn him away now. Even when you have Jisung, who has done nothing but be perfect to you, you just can’t fucking get out of this trap.

You should call Jisung. Tell him what happened and that you need him, but you don’t. There’s a sneaking suspicion that floods through your bones when you realize you don’t want to. Calling him means he’ll prevent you from talking to Chenle, and then Chenle will go back to whoever that girl is and do everything you like to her.

You curse under your breath, grasping onto the edge of the counter.

Will Jisung ever be enough for you?

Is peace…arbitrary? Redundant? Is it not what you want?

The whole time you were with Chenle, it’s what you craved. Stability, peace, love. Three things you never got, and now you have them. But it’s not the same with Jisung. You don’t want those things with anyone but Chenle, but at the same time, silence is unbearably loud. Louder than any of the times you’ve yelled at Chenle or vice versa.

In chaos, you flourish. Maybe…maybe, you’re unable to function without chaos. Perhaps that’s what keeps you alive, your gears turning, and your life harmonious.

How the fuck does that work? Is this all you’re good for?

Just like you predicted, a knock sounds at your door. With your palms sweating, you check through the peephole first, and your suspicions are confirmed. Chenle stands there, waiting for you to let him in.

You have two choices here.

You could ignore him. Leave him standing alone in your apartment complex’s hallway like the dumbass he is, floundering for your attention. You could choose Jisung, the peace and tranquility you know is suitable for the long term.

Or…

Or you could have him again. You could complete yourself in the only way you know how. Maybe the cycle will end this time. He’s been without you for so long, he might have learned his lesson.

It’s not even a fucking competition in your brain.

You unlock the door, confronting him face-to-face—alone—for the first time since you left him. Or made him leave, is more like it.

He doesn’t leave time for awkwardness or pleasantries. Instead, he launches himself forward, his hands cupping your cheeks as he smashes his lips to yours. In his grasp, you’re absolutely pliant, melting right into him just like you’ve done every other time before.

You moan into his mouth, fingers grasping at the fabric of his shirt. Too much time has passed already, so the last thing you want is to wait any more. The kiss is messy, rough in a way that has your teeth clashing together and tongues wrestling for dominance.

Jisung is great. Jisung is nice, but he’s not Chenle.

Chenle’s not scared of being rough, of the messiness you’ve craved without him.

“Hi, baby,” Chenle murmurs, pulling his shirt over his head before dipping back down to kiss along your neck. “I fucking missed you.”

You’re ashamed of how the feelings of uncertainty have turned into lust. It sends heat throughout your entire body, and you hate how damp you feel between your legs already.

“S’okay.” He nips against your pulse. “I know you missed me, too. Don’t waste that pretty little voice on words when I could make you moan instead.”

Much to his surprise, you push him back, chest heaving as you allow your gaze to rake over him. Unfortunately for you, you’ve never been attracted to anyone the way you are with Chenle. Even his mistreatment of you isn’t enough to make that fade.

Without hesitation, you pull your T-shirt off and toss it across the room. The next thing you know, he’s moving forward again, turning you around and pushing your stomach against the island. The chill has you pushing back against him, but it’s nothing compared to how hot every inch of your skin is.

“How many times?” he asks, grinding against your ass as he unbuttons your jeans and unzips them.

“What?” You’re unable to concentrate on anything except how close his fingers are to where you need them most.

He kisses your shoulder before nudging your bra strap down. Moving to the other, he repeats his action. “How many times have you fucked Jisung?”

“Chenle, I—”

“Don’t lie to me, slut. Tell me how many times you screwed my best friend.”

Your eyes nearly roll back. “Four. Five. I don’t know.”

“Are we fucking even now? That’s what you wanted, huh? A little bit of adventure because I fucked up?” His fingers close in around the sides of your neck. “You got it, baby. Don’t you ever…ever fuck him again, got it? Only I get you.”

You clench your thighs together, and a whimper gets caught in the back of your throat. At this point, you’d tell him anything to get him to touch you. And despite Jisung being the topic of conversation, he’s the last damn thing on your mind.

His breath fans across your ear, and through gritted teeth, he says, “If you want to cum tonight, you better fucking agree with me.”

“I won’t.” You quickly shake your head and force the words out through his grip on your throat. “Don’t want anyone else touching me but you.”

As a reward, his hand slips into your jeans. His fingertips connect with your clit through your panties, and your hips jolt.

“He can’t be doing a good job if you’re still so wet for me.” Chenle tsks. “I warned you he could never be me.”

You whine in response, grinding down onto his touch for more stimulation.

“What was it you said?” His circles on your bud are achingly slow.

“Chenle, please—”

“That’s not it.” He stops rubbing you, moving to take his hand out of your jeans.

“No, no.” You push his wrist down. “Fuck, I said I didn’t want him to be you. Please don’t stop.”

You feel his smirk against your skin as he returns to his slow, pleasure-filled torture. He rolls his hips, pressing his hard, straining cock against your ass. The counter digs almost uncomfortably into your midriff, but you couldn’t possibly care at a time like this. He leans back a bit to unclasp your bra, and while both of you are distracted with that, his hand moves inside your panties, tracing along your entrance before slowly sliding two fingers in.

You grip the edge of the counter, pushing back to tell him how much you need him. As soon as your bra falls to the floor, he’s pulling out of you, trailing his sticky fingers up your body until he reaches your breasts. He squeezes you, caging you in his grasp, his chest against your back as he uses your arousal to wet your nipples before he rubs his thumbs over them.

Your back arches and your head falls back against him, quiet moans spilling from your lips at his slow pace. Every inch of you is on fire, and you crave him way too much for your own good.

“You’re so fucking pretty, baby,” he hums, and while his hands pleasure your tits, you can’t help but wish it was his mouth. His tongue is sinful, and you want all he has to offer.

When you rub your thighs together, you whine at the friction, your body sensitive from your need.

“Bet you just wanna be bent over and fucked like the little slut you are, huh?” He chuckles darkly. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, you’re gonna forget your own name.”

He pushes your jeans down your thighs, but doesn’t get them past your knees. His hand slides back into your panties, and two of his fingers are back inside you in record time. You sigh in relief, rocking against him to encourage him to hurry up.

This time, he moves fast, the palm of his hand hitting your throbbing clit with every thrust. You can’t contain your moans, grinding to get more stimulation on your bud.

Unfortunately for you, Chenle knows your body just as well as you do. Right when your walls start to clamp down as a warning sign of your impending orgasm, he removes his touch. You curse, whining like a child at the feeling of being left hanging.

He brings his hand up to your face. “Suck.”

You don’t hesitate. You take his fingers into your mouth, collecting your slick from them and swirling your tongue to make sure you get all of it. Hollowing your cheeks, you allow your eyes to roll back at the taste and how all it does is arouse you further. He slowly pulls them away from you, and an obscene pop follows.

“Did he make you this wet?” Chenle asks. “Tell me who’s better.”

“You,” you say quickly.

“Why?” he continues. “What did my slut learn after having her fun? Hm?”

“H-He’s too nice.” Your face burns, embarrassment creeping through every inch of your body. “Never like this for him.”

Chenle’s hand finds the middle of your shoulder blades and pushes you flat against the counter. You shiver in anticipation, pushing back against him. He rips your panties down, and a sharp slap on your ass has your hips jolting.

“Dripping like the little whore you are,” he scolds you, hitting the other cheek, too. “Gonna make a mess all over the kitchen, baby.”

“Lele, please—”

“Oh, now you wanna act like that, huh?” He unbuckles his belt, the metal clinking together. “You really think nicknames will make me go easy on you?”

“Don’t want you to,” you reply, letting your forehead drop against the granite.

He presses his fingertips against your clit, spreading your arousal around as he rubs fast circles. Your legs are weak and shaking, and your need for release and the arousal soaking your thighs only serve to add to your embarrassment.

“Such a pretty pussy.” He sucks in a deep breath. “No wonder he wanted to steal you from me.”

You arch your back to give him better access, moans spilling past your lips as you grind into his touch. “Chenle, please. Please let me cum. It feels so good.”

“You close?” He contemplates, his other hand massaging your ass.

“So fucking close,” you confirm. “Please.”

“Mm,” he murmurs, circling you faster. “You do sound fucking beautiful when you cum.”

For a moment, you believe he’ll actually let you finish. You build and build, hips frantically moving, but almost like he knows you’re one last rub away from shattering, he pulls away. Your whine turns into a loud moan when he slaps your clit hard.

“You don’t deserve it yet, baby. You don’t get to cum unless it’s on my cock. Understood?”

You're near tears at this point, panting in the aftermath of being denied your orgasm again. Chenle shuffles behind you, and the rest of his clothes hit the floor. He curses under his breath, and you close your eyes, imagining him with his fingers gripping his cock, unable to stop his hips from bucking into his fist.

“You won’t like what happens if you cum without permission, pretty girl.” He rubs the head of his cock along your folds to collect your arousal. “Soaking me already and I’m not even inside.”

He allows his tip to enter you just enough to begin a stretch. Your breath catches in your throat, and you try your best to stop yourself from pushing back until he’s all the way in.

The words escaping you are no longer coherent, but that seems to spur him forward more than anything else. He lands another smack on your ass, but before you even react to that, he thrusts himself in completely until his balls press against your clit.

Your eyes roll back as you let out an obscene, long moan. You move your hips to stimulate your throbbing bud, but he tightens his grip on you to keep you still. He pulls out slowly, lewd noises following.

“Hear that?” He lets out a breathy chuckle. “This pussy is mine. Fuck.”

“Only yours,” you agree.

When he starts thrusting, it wreaks havoc on your body. You're already seconds away from an orgasm considering how many you’ve been denied, but you do your best to listen to him. His skin slaps against yours as he quickens his pace to an almost impossible speed. You’re lost in bliss, walls pulsing around him. All you want is to finish, and hopefully he’ll allow it soon.

His moans mix with yours, and the longer the two of you are connected, the higher pitched his become. His nails dig into you while he pulls you back with every thrust forward. The tip of his cock slides right into your spot, and the entire world tilts on its axis.

You practically scream out a chorus of pleas, begging him to allow you to finish as his length rubs against your inner walls perfectly. The world around you becomes blurry, and you can’t be certain, but you’re pretty sure you’re fucking drooling.

“Do you deserve it?” He curses under his breath. “Answer me. Do you deserve to cum?”

You shake your head, brain too foggy to comprehend fully. “I need it. Please.”

He doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he reaches around your legs and finds your clit with ease. All it takes is a brush of his fingertips to have you catapulting into your orgasm. Your walls clamp down on him hard, and his rhythm is thrown off. He refuses to stop until you’re through it, thrusting through the tightness.

When he pulls out abruptly, you whine.

“On your knees.” He pants, pulling you up and turning you toward him. “Hurry the fuck up, slut. On your fucking knees and suck my cock.”

You don’t need any help dropping to the ground, your legs weak anyway. Glancing up at him, you waste no time in wrapping your hand around him. He twitches in your grasp, and instead of teasing him, you start taking him in your mouth. He’s heavy on your tongue, achingly hard, and cutting off your air supply the deeper you take him into your throat.

“Don’t stop, baby.” He gathers your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, guiding you along his cock.

You follow his commands, a surge of pride welling in your chest when his hips involuntarily thrust. Peering up at him through your lashes, you’re surprised to see his phone in his hand. He’s recording you. It does nothing but make you bob your head faster, desperate to please him.

“Fuck, my little slut sucks cock so good,” he hisses, throwing his head back. “Wanna cum all over your face.”

You moan, the vibration making him gasp. He yanks your head back.

“Open your mouth,” he commands.

You do as he says, and before he even has to tell you, you stroke him until strings of white shoot from his tip. He moans, tilting your head up by your chin to see you painted in his cum.

You use your tongue to catch what landed on your lips, awaiting his next request. His chest heaves as he stares at you. He swipes your cheek with his thumb, and you take the initiative of taking it into your mouth.

He tosses his phone on the counter, gently helping you to your feet. “You okay?” he asks, voice much softer.

You nod timidly, the cloud slowly lifting from your brain. “I’m okay.”

“Did I hurt you?�� He grabs one of the dish towels on the counter and uses it to wipe the remainder of his release off your face.

“No.” You shake your head, confusion sinking in when he helps you remove your clothes all the way instead of redressing you.

“Good. Let’s go shower, baby. I’ll clean you up.”

Your heart twists in your chest, but you allow him to intertwine your fingers and lead you into the bathroom. You’ve missed him so much, and no matter how much you fought, it would always end like this—with some sort of sexual make up to let out pent up aggressions, and then he took such good care of you.

Why couldn’t he be like that all the time?

Once you're beneath the warm water, he pulls you to his chest, cradling the back of your head as he presses his lips gently on yours. For a moment, you forget the rest of the world. Finally, the puzzle feels as if it’s been pieced back together.

You pull away first, scanning over his face, noting how the water makes his hair stick flat to his forehead. Smiling, you run your fingers through it to push it back. He gulps, gaze softer than you’re used to as he holds you close.

“(Y/N), I’m…” He pauses. “I love you. Don’t leave me like that again.”

You don’t hesitate to nod. Cupping his cheek, you run your thumb along his skin. “I love you, too. I’m not going anywhere.”

Chenle washes your hair, gently lathers your body with soap, and presses soft kisses on your skin. These are the moments you miss. The ones where he shows you he loves you, that he cares. You want to live in these moments forever, but it’s normal that they don’t last.

All couples fight. All couples retaliate at each other.

The two of you aren’t above it, clearly, but the most important thing is that he’s here with you now…right?

It doesn’t matter if he’s strayed before. He always comes back to you.

This time will be different. You feel it in your bones.

Once you’re done in the shower, he helps dry you off and massages your shoulders. It doesn’t matter how much time passes—you’ll always be his. He takes care of you. He loves you.

When you’re completely dry, the two of you climb right into bed. He pulls you to him, kissing all over your face despite how clearly tired he is.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, voice strained. “For everything, (Y/N). We’re gonna be better this time. I promise.”

You’ve learned to be weary of his promises, but that doesn’t mean you don’t hope he means it.

“I’m sorry, too.” You kiss the base of his neck. “Fighting fire with fire is never the right answer.”

His breathing evens out before yours, and you stare up at your ceiling, deep in thought. Everything is overwhelming, but one thing settling inside you has your heart shattering just like the glass Chenle carelessly swiped off the counter.

You’re with Jisung. You told Jisung you wanted him, that you wanted to see where things went, but here you are, back with Chenle.

You’ve become everything you hated Chenle for being.

What the fuck do you tell Jisung?

#nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #jisung #park jisung #nct #nct smut #jisung smut #chenle smut #nct dream smut #kpop smut #jisung x reader #chenle x reader #jisung scenarios #jisung imagines #chenle scenarios #chenle imagines

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zombyjuice · 4 months

Text

NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU! - eunseok.🍨🦷🐆🍦 t(>.<t)

In which your boyfriend you recently just got back together with is coming over for the first time since.

bf!eunseok x fem loser!reader

toxic relationship, fluff, angst, smut! suggestions to the reader having depression (NOT ROMANIZING.) suggested cheating. etc..

so many things inspired/helped me make this so I’m just gonna . @melobin and @anquelic on insta and my playlist below took inspo from there too <33 lol!

“Eunseoks here…” one of your roommates sneered from the other side of the door you could almost feel the face they gave eachother. You hop up and rush to open your door with a wide smile on your face “Hey baby” your boyfriend, walking towards you, a hand in one pocket and a bag of Burger King in the other an extremely attractive smile on his face “hii” you practically melted pulling him into your room and hugging him tight.

“Please don’t fuck yet! Give it a week!”

“shut the fuck up!”

He chuckled kissing your forehead and pinching your sides, you loved it when he did that, made you feel so safe you could practically feel your heart melt watching his movements as he placed the bag on your table.

That feeling goes away in an instant as you watch him sigh as he moves some of your clutter to the side. This made your heart flutter with sadness and your brain go a bit fuzzy.

He understands you more than anybody really, he’s patient and he does seem to care for you, he understood all those months before you guys were ever official you’d disappear trying to decide if he’s the one and if you should give him the chance.

He understood the nights where you’d just sit in silence not wanting to be touched or talked to, and he understood the nights you guys would be talking like normal only for you to start crying out of nowhere, or the nights you’d scream and push him losing your temper only to end up in his arms letting him watch you crumble under him. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay I've got you, doing so well for daddy” “‘m not mad at you, okay pretty, it's okay”. He understood the nights when you were finally your silly self after spending a weekend alone.

He understood all your quirks and interests. Once he dragged you to one of his sets because he remembered someone working on it had a dog who understood multiple languages, remembering your rather odd fascination with it how. can they do that? And watching as you said sit to the dog in Spanish, French, and Japanese, complete shock and happiness painted on your face as you laughed and laughed, adoration painted on his.

So how is it that you caught him multiple times all over the girl, the same girl he had a pass with, rumor has it they were “casually” sleeping together before you ever entered the picture you know it was deeper than that. To him “it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was just being nice.” You had to constantly shift your morals just so you could be happy with him, he knew you hated it, he knew the disgust you felt with yourself every time you’d go back with him. But you loved him so it's alright.

You knew the irritation and anger that bubbled up inside of him when you'd ask “Are you unhappy in our relationship?” or “Am I annoying you? I'm sorry” but he loves you so he's got to deal with it, right?

And no matter how many times you believed he cheated he was stable, nothing in your life is stable but him. So maybe that’s why you feel you always go back to him. And only him. Because, to you, there's nobody better than him.

He turned to you already able to read your face “It's alright, today's our lazy Sunday isn't it? We'll clean a bit tomorrow but for now, cmere let's lie down”

The smile that was once on your face came back and you gladly took his hand as he led you to your bed and cozy. Watching some of your favorite horror movies and munching on Burger King you between his legs a hands squishing your thighs and head dropping down to your neck every now and then to suck a hickey at your favorite spots your hands would grab at his knees as you whimper and giggle. “quit it, they’re finally escaping”. He'd quietly pout and slightly rut his hips up against you visibly hard.

{2:49 am}

Your eyes meet your boyfriends and grab at his hand that's hitching up your inner thigh, yours visibly smaller “Should we play some-” he smashed his lips against yours, your first actual kiss of the night “fuck I know we said we wouldn't do anything, but shit you look so good, sound so good, need to fuck my babies in you, make you mine forever” he grabbed at your neck and slid it down to your arm, manhandling you under him.

You could only submit to him, knowing this would have happened by the end of the “night”.

“Can’t believe I spent so many Sundays without you, felt so wrong, I’ve missed you so much” he'd moan against your lips grabbing at your thighs and aggressively pushing them up as he grinds against you, whimpers slipping out of you “missed you so much more” you’d whisper mind going elsewhere remembering exactly why you spent so many night away from each other’s grasp.

“Let me fuck away all that nonsense,only have you think about this cock” as if he could read your mind “please”.

And just like that he’d do exactly what he said.

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coolaboutlucy · 4 months

Note

Jealous and possessive abby - not in a toxic or abusive way but maybe you guys went to a party and your ex or some random decided to act up and be crazy and start hitting on you when everyone knows you're hers so she starts getting protective and marking her territory - she never blames you for it but she just wants to remind you who you belong to so she feels better with your consent if course and you find it hot asf

𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 | 𝙖. 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣

pairing: abby anderson x afab!reader

tags: alcohol consumption, mild language, theres a gross man, abby is possessive (per the request), i think that should be everything???, i still stuck at tagging

a/n: was lowkey stuck on this prompt bc i don’t remember the last time i did smth like this but also, i procrastinated like, a lot. tbh i don’t rlly ever proofread anything i write i just post it with a hope and a prayer but wtv! i hope yall enjoy this. 🤍😙😙

bodies filled the house you and abby were currently in. the air smelled like alcohol, sweat, and a mixture of cologne and cheap perfume. this wasn’t particularly your scene, but abby wanted to go since one of her friends were hosting the party. you sorta stood on the wall, nursing a cup of.. something abby mixed for you. she wanted to prepare your drink herself. yknow, cause people are weird and like dropping shit in your drink without your knowledge. the screen of your phone illuminates your features softly under the red and purple LED lights. nobody dared to bother you much because everyone knew you were abbys girl. god, she never shuts up about you! but it’s only because she loves you so much. she also did it because she wanted to make your relationship known, and she’d gladly knock the lights out of anyone who dared to approach you cause she didn’t play that game.

the necklace around your neck had her initial on it. she’d gifted it to you during valentines day last year. it glints a little from the light coming from the screen of your phone. you’d been mid sip when some piss drunk man came stumbling over to you. and suddenly your settings app looked interesting as hell! he stops infront of you with a woozy smile and a flushed face from drinking. lowkey, he was like, really ugly. he’s the kind of guy a girl would only fuck in the dark. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” he asked as he looked you up and down with obviously lustful eyes. “ah, im.. actually not alone. im here with someone.” you say as you give him an awkward smile and a chuckle. “i don’t see ‘em. why dontcha come with me? we could go back ‘t my place.. maybe order somethin’ to eat.” you politely decline and give him another awkward smile. while trying to ward this man off, you text abby.

“theres some guy over here flirting w/ me, help!!” you text her while trying as much as possible to ignore the man. he was relentless! he just wouldn’t stop talking and making gross comments. you look up from your phone to find your girlfriend pushing her way to you, through the couples grinding against eachother and making out. she smiles as she approaches you, then wrapping her arm around your shoulders. you lean against her. “so, who’re you?” she asks as she looks at the man, then tossing him an icy glare. “who am i? why should i answer you?” the man had a raised eyebrow and he’d been holding a now empty cup. “well, cause you’re hitting on my girl. so you should probably tell me why you’re doing all this.” her voice was low, raspy and a bit threatening. her possessiveness was dumb attractive, and you surely felt a little hot!!! “hah, this is your girl? she’s outta your league, bro. just give ‘er up. ill treat ‘er soo much better.” the man had become bold. abby didn’t like that. “mm.. nah. she’s fine with me. aren’t you, baby?” she asks as she looks at you. you nod with a small, stupid smile on your face. she presses a kiss on your forehead before she looks back at the man.

her touch had lingered on your skin even when you knew she wasn’t touching you. she sits on one of the chairs with a sigh and you sit next to her. “god, people are so disgusting!” abby said as she lets out an exasperated sigh. she hated when people treated you that way. but you just couldn’t seem to forget that voice she spoke in. the raspiness made this sorta electricity shoot through your veins. she was rambling about something, but you’d began listening when she’d been nearly finished speaking “—that shit wasn’t okay, and nobody should be treating my girl like that. i mean, gosh, some people just really can’t take a hint can they? i was so close to punching him just like id done that other guy but i controlled myself. and, ill just say, it isn’t your fault. i just really don’t like that. you don’t deserve that. not at all.” her voice softens towards the end of her sentence as she places her hand on your thigh gently.

your hand finds itself over hers and you smile at her. “sometimes you gotta punch people for ‘em to understand, yknow?” abby says as she looked at you with the same softened gaze. “abby, no, i will absolutely not be punching anyone… that’s what i have you for. and you hit like, waaaaay harder.” you chuckled. “well, maybe i should show you how to hit real hard.” you shrug, and she smiles at you, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. “how bout we get outta this shithole?” she suggested with a smile. “oh, yeah. let’s go. im literally starving!” the both of you nod as you begin walking off the porch. as you walk to the sidewalk, the guy from earlier comes running and stumbling out of the house. he was after abby. you noticed and alerted her. “oh shit, we’d better run!” she grabs your hand and the both of you run to her car, giggling and looking back at the man (whos running slow as a snail) and forward at her car.

#wlfabby #adria answers anons #tlou #the last of us #the last of us 2 #tlou2 #the last of us part two #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x you #reader insert #tlou x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson tlou2 #abby the last of us #abby x you #abby anderson x female reader

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f1version · 11 months

Note

congratulations on the 1k!! it's well deserved

could i please request alex albon + ❛ i didn’t know where else to go. ❜

❛ who did this to you? ❜

❛ please don’t leave me. ❜

i apparently need some angst!

SAFE & SOUND ★ AA23

pairing: alex albon x driver! fem! reader

summary: you and alex have never had a good relationship as teammates, but for some reason you feel safe in each other’s arms.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, implied and mention of verbal and physical violence (non explicit, not between the pairing, reader explains what happened but nothing detailed), implied toxicity and sexism, anxiety, alex calls reader love.

word count: 1,4k

notes: this ended up being longer than i expected

general masterlist ★ 1k special

Everything hurts.

From the soft leather seats of your car to the speed in which it was being driven. Tears fell down your cheeks while those cruel words rushed through your head all over again. They will never stop, you repeated. But they had to stop, they had to stop because they weren’t true.

You should leave. F1 is not for women. Daddy’s money. Your wins were gifted to you. Cheater.

Every punch, every scream. Everything hurts because the cruelest people are the ones who don't see beyond the differences, the ones who only look for flaws. It seemed like safety was something you couldn’t afford.

It was 3:00 AM when you parked in front of an apartment building in Monte Carlo. You had only been there once 6 months ago, yet you managed to drive there as if it were routine.

You don't even know why you drove there.

Your name was still on the list of people allowed to go up, even when he said he was going to do a new list and you were sure you wouldn’t be allowed anymore. You guessed he forgot, after all, Alex Albon was somewhat forgetful.

Alex.

You are in front of Alex Albon’s door, your teammate’s door. Questions finally start pouring into your head. Why are you here? What makes you think he will let you in? What makes you think he will help you?

You and Alex weren’t the best teammates, and it was mostly your fault. He took you by surprise with his kindness, he was as sweet and funny as it could get. He was sunshine and you were midnight rain; cold, unpredictable, pushing away every intruder who could throw away what you had been building since you were 4 years old.

Still, you were going to knock on his door at 3 in the morning.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

For five minutes and eight seconds, there was no answer, the wait was doom, it was a sign that you should turn around and leave because Alex was asleep. But he had always been full of surprises.

Two confused brown eyes meet yours, saying your name in such a tone. "Are you. What?"

"I didn't know where else to go" you speak quickly, nervous, the bruises hurt more then.

"I, Come in, let's talk inside"

In that moment a sigh of relief leaves your lips. Of course he would let desperate souls in his house at three in the morning.

The fake blond led you into the living room, where, with a soft motion, asked you to take a seat on the black sofa in front of you.

Alex sits next to you, concern in his pretty eyes. You haven't said anything since he opened the door. You always had something to tease him with, but only a small cry came out of you. You didn't even look at him, something was very wrong.

He calls your name, soft and caring. “Can you look at me?” You hear him say as you stare down at your hands. "Love, please tell me what's wrong, you're worrying me.”

Observing was one of Alex’s greatest qualities, that's why he froze. His gaze was stuck on the bruise of your left arm. On the way here, they had taken on a blueish color, they were painful, especially when you remember the reason why they were there to begin with.

“Y/n?” He says cautiously, scared to mess it up. "Who did this to you?"

Alex gets closer and suddenly you've never felt so vulnerable, so alone. Alex didn't want you here, it was almost four in the morning and he was in his pajamas while you were crying on his sofa, smelling of that goddamn drink someone spilled on you.

"Alex, I’m sorry. I, I know you must be tired," you say in a hurry, trying to get up. "I, I should go, everything is fine nothing, nothing happened."

Alex grabs your hand, looking up at you. "Love, please."

Somehow that’s enough to make you stay. His eyes, such pretty brown eyes drown in worry and sadness. You can't stand it. Seeing Alex sad was something only could bear within race weekends, when your focus wasn’t on him. But, yes, he always looked better smiling.

Alex sighs, "stay here, I'm going to go get an ice pack and some water."

You decided to look down, more tears filled your eyes. He was so good. Alex was a real-life angel in your eyes, and you never thanked motorsports for the things it had done for you until now. Knowing him.

When he came back, a glass of water made it’s way into your hands, calming the nausea and the nerves.

“Love, can you turn around a bit? I need to see that bruise,” Alex states, you just comply. You knew that if you thought about it too much you would want to run away without looking back. This isn’t the strong, confident version Alex knows, this is some broken toy who has had enough playing. You didn’t want him to see you like this, you were afraid of breaking something that didn't exist.

But maybe it exists, that something. Maybe it’s just hard to spot what that is. Maybe it was all about the laughs, hugs, and soft touches on the get-togethers of the team and the grid. Maybe it was how he looked at you with those gorgeous brown eyes.

That maybe is what encourages you to open up, he wouldn't judge you. He could never.

"I, I was in a pub, celebrating the points from last week with my sister and,” you inhale sharply, "and at some point, she went dancing with her girlfriend and... some people, fans, they recognized me and they, they."

"They did this."

It wasn’t a question, it was a fact. The lump on your throat only allowed you to nod. Looking at Alex you recognized anger, it was something carnal and dangerous, something you hadn't seen before. It wasn't the adrenaline rushing through his veins after something went down on track. This was twisted, crooked.

"Love," He says, slowly. There's that nickname again. "Do you remember their faces?" He asks a few minutes later, tense. “What they were wearing. Something?"

"Alex,"

"We have to do something," he says, standing up abruptly. "This can't stay like this, you,"

"Alex," you interrupt him, "i know what I have to do, but not now, please. I just want, I want to rest, I want peace, I want… Please, let's not talk about this now and," there’s a confession hanging in the air, "please don't leave me"

Your watery eyes find exasperated ones, calming them within seconds. His newfound softness brought you peace.

"Can I hug you?" The Thai murmurs, eyes never leaving yours.

"Yes, you can."

His arms wrap around your waist gently, doing everything to keep you from moving too much, afraid of hurting you. That made your tears fall inconsolable. You feel Alex's hands caressing your back, they are so gentle.

"Here, put this on the bruise," he says as he pulls away, extending you an ice pack.

"Thank you."

After that, there are twenty minutes of comfortable silence. You notice the music playing in the background, soft and relaxing, lo-fi, most likely.

Alex guides you to the bathroom, letting you shower away the anxiety. He even offers you a t-shirt and pajama bottoms that are just a little too big on you, but nothing wild. He brings snacks for both of you, giving you a sandwich and more water; you make a mental note of inviting him for dinner one day.

"Do you want," Alex says, breaking the silence "I, It doesn't matter."

"Alex," You call, sitting next to him, with your head almost falling on his shoulder. "It’s okay, you can ask."

“It's not what you think, I,” he smiled, “I just want to know if you want to cuddle for a while? Not in my bed, if that’s weird, but I can bring some blankets and pillows, it would be comfortable. I don’t think it would be weird, is it weird to you? We literally live together, you know, Williams. Agh! You know what I mean."

Your body moving closer to his silences his blabbering, your head resting on his chest, legs almost in his lap, a smile in your face. Alex puts an arm around you.

"Yes, that’s okay, really," you muttered. "And sorry."

"Don't apologize for coming, everything is fine I,"

“I mean how I've treated you,” you say and he makes a big ‘O’ with his mouth, then frowns. Is he confused? "I feel like I've been cold."

Alex smiles. "Honestly? I feel like it's just on race weekends, and I know why."

Now you smile. A grateful smile. No one had ever understood or tried to. You feel tears running down once again, this time of overwhelming gratitude. Alex kisses your temple.

“You are okay, love, safe and sound, I promise”

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runa-falls · 11 months

Text

step on me

pairing: mean!miguel o'hara x naive!reader

summary: you have a peculiar 'relationship' with miguel -- basically, you'll take what you can get.

warning: explicit 18+, smut, unprotected sex, man-handling, no after-care, power imbalance, toxic relationship, very one-sided, fwb, little bit of angst, kinda sad rly.

w/c: 2.4k

a/n: ik i have two series i should be writing for but-- actually i have no excuse. i've been listening to step on me for hours now so that's why this is this...maybe one more part after this ? idk yet --

masterlist

---

You have an interesting relationship with Miguel, if you can call it that. You’ve been fucking for weeks now, shoving each other against closet walls, over desks, or atop bathroom counters with no regard for anyone else around.

But you’re not friends. You’re barely even friendly colleagues.

It happened so fast the first time.

There wasn’t any growing tension that led to the snap of a rubber band. He just kissed you out of the blue. Grabbed you, quite eagerly by the neck, completely cutting off what you were saying, then pulled you in, lips pressing hot against yours.

You had trouble wrapping your mind around what was happening so you went still, arms hanging timidly at your sides, eyes wide with surprise.

His hand grasped your jaw, holding you exactly where he wanted you.

The shock in your body dissipated slowly as he started to lick into your mouth. Your eyes closed at the feel of his soft tongue against yours. You leaned into him, body melting at his touch.

It was the last thing you were expecting from him at the end of your debriefing.

It happened after the rest of the crew left. They were dismissed by Miguel and anxious to get home or to pick up a bite to eat, but you stayed behind, wanting to pitch another one of your ideas to him.

Like always.

It started off with the usual routine:

He barely looks at you when he flatly asks why you were still there. He’s a very impatient man, always in a hurry to go from point A to point B.

You don’t mind his question because he already knows the answer.

You jumped right into blabbing about the newest technological upgrades that you think could be beneficial for the group while he full-heartedly ignored you, gloved fingers swiping around on his holographic monitor.

The occasional Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. Ok. Was all you were getting from him. But you continue, hoping to spark his interest, if only for a second.

You’re so lost in your own explanations that you don’t notice he’s actually looking at you now. And walking closer. Much closer than he has ever been before.

Now that you’re thinking back on it, he was pretty tense that day. Makes sense why the bruises on your waist are still in the late stage of healing, despite your spider-woman-enhanced abilities.

—

You have always looked up to Miguel as a mentor as much as your boss. He has a lot of experience as a Spider, far more than your mere year-and-a-half as Spider-Girl (you prefer Spider-Woman, but your New York refused to budge on the name).

You’ve been trying for months to get his attention if only for him to look over your work as an engineer because, as much power as he has in Spider-Society, he’s also quite brilliant in his own right.

So when he kissed you, you finally felt seen by him. Because now, you’re not just another Spider on the wall. He wants you. Now you have a chance to be a bigger part of Spider-Society.

Well, you soon found out that him wanting you, involved very little conversation.

None — if it were his choice.

“So what do you think?” You wait eagerly for his feedback, but he doesn’t respond, his lips just continue to brush against your throat, away from the bruise he just sucked into your skin. “...Miguel?”

“Hm?” The sharp edge of his fang runs over your collarbone. You shiver at the feeling.

“The stabilizers.” He bites down, gently enough not to break skin.

“What about them…?”

“I–” A hand makes its way under your shorts, cupping your center as he continues to litter your skin with more bites. “N-nevermind. We can talk about it later.”

He barely nods, head resting on your shoulder, “Lift your hips for me, sweetheart.”

The thing is, there never was a later with him. If you weren’t behind closed doors, it’s like nothing’s changed.

These days, he is always busy after debriefs. Except when he wants you.

But by then, your mouth is already webbed closed with his fiery red silk, so you can’t even bring it up if you wanted to.

—

“Alright, good work everyone.” The Spiders around you start to shuffle out of their chairs as Miguel closes up, “Team 470B will be on call for the next one, so go home and get some rest.” Casual chatter starts to bloom around you and all professionalism goes out the door as the meeting is adjourned.

You push back on your rolling chair and stand up, satisfied by the day of work. You stretch, body stiff from sitting for so long, and nearly lose your footing from how far you were reaching. You are planning to go straight home and take a long bath before bed, knowing by now that Miguel wouldn’t have time to see you before he’s off to his next thing.

Just as you’re about to walk out with the rest, you hear him call out, “Not you, Spider-Girl.” You’re the only one that looks back (as you’re the only one with that terribly degrading name), but you point at yourself anyway. He looks at you with an unamused look, as if to say “Who the fuck else?”

You get the memo and follow him.

You silently walk a few paces behind him as you travel through the ravine that’s Spider-HQ. You hear a few, “What’s up, Spider-Girl?” and “Good Evening, O’Hara”s, as you pass the halls full of familiar (and unfamiliar) Spiders. You wave politely, sending smiles to your co-workers and friends, but Miguel barely acknowledges them.

Once you get to his office, you’re pushed against the wall. Claws dig into your wrists as they’re held above you. It’s a bit higher than you can reach so you’re forced to stand on your tip-toes to stay comfortable. The positioning forces your back to arch slightly and your chest brushes against his.

Your face heats in embarrassment as you lose your footing for a second, almost falling against him. Looking up, you watch as his gaze darkens rapidly with syrupy desire. He’s clearly enjoying the stumbling doe under him.

As he leans down to capture your lips, his hands lower with yours, giving you a bit of reprieve to stand back on your heels. You sigh against his lips as your strained muscles have a chance to relax.

He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Gotta make this quick, I’m needed in 2997 in an hour.”

It’s always quick. Over before you’re ready. Before you can really sink into the feeling of his touch, of his lips against yours, of the hand-shaped bruises getting pressed into your outer thighs.

“Ok.”

His hands drift from yours and trace over your suited figure before wrapping around your waist. You’re hoisted up easily by his strong arms and you instinctively wrap your legs around his hips.

He brings you over to a couch at the corner of the room, one that’s there for decoration rather than comfort.

You’re gently laid on your back, hair spread out under you, watching as Miguel’s eyes pour over your rapidly rising chest and puffy lips. He’s straddling your legs, body hunched over you.

His fingers lightly brush over your chest before pinching at the stretchy fabric of your suit, “Let’s get this off.”

You press the subtle release button that sits under the spider logo of your suit and it instantly pools around you. His hands quickly make work to take it off, pulling it down and off of you with one swift tug. You sigh at the sensation of your skin meeting the cool air.

You hear him discard the suit to the side, then he’s back on you.

He palms over your tits, flicking your sensitive nipples with his thumb leisurely, taking time to pull gasps and moans from your lips. You throw your head back when he pinches you, moaning loudly at the pleasurable pain. He takes one bud into his mouth, sucking and laving at your skin until your body starts to physically tremble from the stimulation. Then his touch is gone.

You watch as he sits up and starts to remove his own suit from the neck to his waist, revealing his heavily muscled torso, warm skin speckled with the occasional mole. He lets you feel him under your small palm, muscles rippling as you drag your fingers downward. You’re tunnel vision as you watch them brush over the dark hair of his happy trail and pull the bottom half of his suit down.

He’s already hard for you, precum dribbling slowly from the blush pink tip. Your hand wraps around his silken cock and he pulses at your touch, eagerly anticipating your next move. You meet his half-lidded gaze, watching his soft lips part as you squeeze around him experimentally.

“I need to be inside of you.” He guides your hand off of him and lets it rest on his chest as he bends over you once again. Calloused fingers trail down the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and over your dripping heat. Your breath stutters when he slides his middle finger against your slippery folds and pushes in easily, making sure you’re ready enough to take him.

You always are.

His breathing labors as he works another finger into you, slick sounds growing louder as he increases the speed. You clench around his fingers unintentionally at the thought of your body affecting him like that, and it makes him groan.

Your legs abruptly start to close around his arm as he pushes in deeper, angling his fingers at just the right positioning to nudge against your g-spot. He pushes them apart with his other hand, holding you down against the couch as you quickly reach the edge. You cry out as electricity fizzes through your nerves and leaves you completely boneless. White is all you see as heat travels through your body and out.

Your heart beats harshly when you finally come down and your legs still twitch from the residual stimulation that’s slowly evaporating off your body. When you open your eyes, you see Miguel staring back at you.

“You good?”

“Mhm…”

He draws his hands away from you, “Okay,” He’s practically cooing at you. “Open up for me, sweetheart.” You lazily spread your legs for him, allowing him to slot himself in between them.

He slides himself against your heat, coating himself in your sweet slick, and grinds against you for a minute, letting his cock nudge ever so slightly against your sensitive clit just to see you squirm.

“Miguel, please.” Your voice is hoarse as you beg.

“I got you, honey.” Your hands hold onto his biceps when he starts to push into you and you squeeze at his arms as you get used to the feeling of your body slowly stretching around him, inch by inch. You both moan when he bottoms out and have to stop to get used to the feeling.

Then he starts moving. Hard.

His arms hold him up next to your head as he fucks you into the couch, hips ramming against yours without care. Any semblance of softness he has shown you before is gone.

The feeling of being filled up so harshly is overwhelming and all you can do is hold on to him, nails digging into his skin, grasping in desperation.

Miguel takes one of his arms and uses it to prop his leg higher to give him more space. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he starts to push in deeper. As deep as he can. There it is again, that euphoric spot inside of you. Pressure pools in your stomach, igniting a feeling of limitless pleasure. Your eyebrows furrow as your body begins to tense again, already building up to another orgasm.

He can feel your walls start to flutter around him, clenching and sucking him in closer. He has to hold himself back from cumming right there as you grow impossibly tighter. “Cum for me again, baby.” His strained words pull you closer to the edge and your legs begin to shake.

You’re practically writhing under him as white-hot pleasure finally shoots through your system for the second time. Warmth radiates from your center and your entire body is assaulted with intense bliss, all your senses numbed.

“Fuck –” He can’t help but swear as you cum around him, pushing him infinitely closer to his climax. He’s still rutting into you, pushing your body into the couch cushions with every thrust, but his pace is becoming inconsistent as he holds himself back from finishing inside of you.

He pulls out at the last moment, letting out a choked groan as he spurts over your stomach, hand fisting his cock as he completely empties himself.

He takes a few deep breaths above you to calm down before leaning back on his knees and reaching behind him. You didn’t notice that there was already a towel hanging on one of the couch’s arms until he grabs it and gently wipes himself off.

You’re still recovering, breathlessly laying on your back in exhaustion, barely able to move from all the energy you exerted. Your body aches wonderfully when you shift to the side, and you’re sure you’ll feel it more tomorrow.

“Clean yourself up, sweetheart.” He passes you the towel, already getting up off the couch. The small hand-towel plops on your stomach covering the white ropes he left on your skin. “I’m gonna need the office back as soon as I finish my mission, so you’ll have a few hours.” Your body curls into itself, a bit cold as his body heat leaves you. You look up and he’s already back in his suit, brushing his hair back into place. “I’ll, uh, see you later, sometime?”

You nod, sending him a small smile. “Ok.”

With that, he leaves the room.

He’s always in a hurry, but you suppose that’s just how things are when you’re trying to single-handedly hold the multiverse together.

You appreciate the little time you get with him, knowing how busy he is and all, but sometimes you wish you could have him for a little bit longer, if just to talk to him.

For now, though, you’ll take what you can get.

#mean!miguel #spider man 2099 #atsv fic #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader

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deanbrainrotwritings · 4 months

Text

— HOLD ME LIKE A GRUDGE

SUMMARY : dean is a demon. it’s Christmas Eve and it’s exhausting to keep fighting him, but he’s accidentally knocked out by the reader. so, she took him back to her parents’ place to clean him up... but her whole family is already home.

PAIRING : demon!dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : cenric (OMC), guren (OMC), koro (OMC), kandora (OFC), meliora (OFC)

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), angst, implied cheating, fluff, fun family time, toxic relationship, rough sex, intoxicated sex, p in v, unprotected sex

WORD COUNT : 4.8k

A/N : fall out boy song title. @spnkinkevents : #12daysofspnkinkmas2023 — hot tub sex and drunk sex. let's pretend demon!Dean lasted for a long while. wtf is that name? it’s from the video game Destiny, probably (they have badass names, especially the villains/sometimes they’re ridiculous, lmao). XXxx

Y/n and Sam split up in their search for Dean.

Both were in search of him… and Crowley. But mostly Dean.

Dean didn’t behave much like any other demon. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He settled for over drinking, dancing, singing bad karaoke, sleeping with random women—which stung, killing people in self-defence. The list goes on, but he’s more bored than evil.

She knew Dean, even now, as a demon. This was Dean when he was bored. Not Dean being evil. That just wasn’t Dean.

She didn’t know it, but he was keeping tabs on her, too. He’d fool Crowley by promising to seal deals, pretending he was going off with a girl or two, getting away for some ‘Dean time’ doing random shit…

He was just going out to see her. There’s something that he can’t shake off about her. It might be the possessiveness, the ownership he feels towards her… it’s something he doesn’t understand, a tug deep within himself that yearns to be whole. A part of him that’s sure that missing piece is her.

Crowley sent demons after her. Of course he did, to slow her down, to throw her off. Dean lied to Crowley, the way he always did to get what he wanted. Instead of fleeing because ‘you’re getting too attached, let’s move on’, Dean stayed behind to make sure she made it out safely.

It irked him to feel that guardianship, that… need or whatever the hell it was that compelled him to keep her safe.

But, one thing led to another, she was outnumbered by about fifteen demons. She’d gotten at least five of them by the time Dean decided to show himself. He didn’t completely protect her from harm, but he saved her from possibly deadly blows.

She was stunned to see him there and she looked absolutely ravishing. Covered in blood. Her soft hair falling free from the tie holding her hair in place and out of the way. The focused furrow of her brows. The irritated scowl on her pretty face.

Dean got distracted. It was his first mistake, ever since he became a demon. He felt time slow down with only three demons left, the two of them moving in sync like nothing ever happened, like nothing stood between them.

“Six!” She shouted, expecting him to get down, but he didn’t. She punched him square in the face and his body fell loudly with a thud, but she didn’t let herself get distracted.

She killed the last three demons in a breeze because even they were astounded that the knight of hell, Dean Winchester, was knocked unconscious by a smaller hunter. By a human.

She didn’t bother cleaning up. Fifteen bodies? If Crowley didn’t want to be tracked, he’d clean it up on his own. Instead, she carefully pulled Dean out of the warehouse she was staying in as she stalked her boyfriend and Crowley.

She found his car nearby, poor Baby was a complete mess. She hid her stolen car behind the warehouse next to a bunch of tumbleweed, took everything that was hers, wiped it clean of prints and other evidence, and left in the Impala.

With Dean in the backseat, she wondered what she would do now. She didn’t expect for this to happen. The plan was originally to see what Dean and Crowley were up to, call Sam, then go back home as Sam took care of the rest.

It was too late for that. Her family was home waiting to celebrate the holidays. All of them cleared the schedules to get together, they’d planned it a whole year before, even she did and she was supposed to bring Dean.

Guess that’s still the case, except he’s a demon now… and she’s kidnapping him.

It was a long ride back home. It was inevitable that Dean would wake up completely pissed.

He glared at her from the backseat, cuffed with his arms behind him. The road was empty so there was nothing to put them in danger as he wasn’t secured with a seatbelt. Most importantly, it wouldn’t matter that she swerved so hard that he fell onto his side with a grunt before letting out a deep growl.

“Bitch!”

“Oh, stop it, it’s the least you deserve after everything you’ve done,” she muttered, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. Her heart hammered rapidly with anger and hatred, but she focused on driving herself home safely.

“I just helped you out,” he reminded her darkly, leaning against the car door to sit back up.

“Yeah, and I’m thanking you by saving your life,” she retorted.

“I’m fine.” She scoffed at him, but stared at him from the rearview mirror for a few seconds before he looked back at her. She realigned the car when it veered off slightly.

“You’re a demon.”

“I’m still me, sweetheart, just because you don-”

To prevent further conversation, she pulled out the first cassette tape she touched and shoved it into the car deck. The ride to her family’s home was tense and irritating because Dean decided to sing along tunelessly.

It was better than having to hear his insults or cruel comments. He was funny sometimes, too, when they made pit stops… even if she currently hated him.

“Ah, here we are, awesome,” Dean murmured sarcastically as she killed the purring engine of the Impala.

“Shut up, I’m tying you up in the basement,” she glared at him. He scoffed as she got out of the driver’s seat, walking around the front of the car to unlock the door for him.

“Hey! We’ve been waiting for you!” She heard from the doorway. It was her little sister who was now walking towards them.

“I’m going to shout,” Dean told her, gazing up at her with a feigned innocent expression. Green, sparkling eyes wide and a pout that almost reminded her of when he was human.

“Shut up,” she whispered harshly before lifting her head with a sweet smile towards her sister. “Hey, Dean’s got.. an embarrassing situation going on, think you can distract everyone for the meantime?” Her sister stopped where she was, her eyes flicking to Dean for a heartbeat or two and then to her older sister.

“Sure,” Kandora shrugged, quickly turning around and jogging up to the door.

“Cute,” Dean grunted. Y/n gripped the back of his red flannel and harshly yanked him out of the car, holding back a snicker when Dean bumped his head on the top of the inside of the car. “You know, this is the body of the man you used to make love to,” he reminded her with a sneer, leaning his back against his car as she shut the door.

She smiled at him sarcastically, “yeah, and then you used this body to fuck whores, so I don’t really care.” She grabbed the middle chain between the cuffs and tugged him the whole way to the entrance where they removed their shoes.

When she was fully inside the house she could hear her sister telling a story loudly while laughing hard along with her family.

She quickly made her way down to the basement, turning the light on before pushing Dean. He stumbled over the stairs and glared back at his lover when he regained his balance.

“Smart, no one could hear me here,” he told her with a smirk. She frowned at his words, freezing in the middle of uncuffing him after leaving him over an ugly rug where a devil’s trap was painted underneath.

She had a few quick flashbacks of her and Dean having sex in the soundproof basement when they could get away from all the family time. No one could hear them—and hopefully no one knew what was going on. Those were the perks of a retired hunter family.

She undid the cuffs and he gently massaged his wrists even if they healed up quickly. She watched curiously and then looked away to hand him a few clean up supplies that weren’t necessarily dangerous to her or her family.

She turned to look at him and opened her mouth.

“Let me guess: shut up and stay put?” He smiled down at her in an attempt to be charming, but she rolled her eyes, pretending it didn’t work.

“Oh, you’re so smart,” she praised bitingly, patting his cheek in a demeaning manner. He scowled and moved away from her to clean the demon blood off himself.

She made her way back upstairs to join her family who were now somewhat silent. Music played softly in the background. Thankfully, it wasn’t irritating Christmas music, but songs she recognised were her oldest brother’s favourite songs.

The scent of her favourite food wafted up her nose, arising hunger into her stomach that growled like a great beast. The lights weren’t too bright either, which allowed her to relax when she settled in the kitchen with her family as they waited for the food to get ready.

Her mother, father, two older brothers, and little sister sat around the table doing random things waiting for the food to finish cooking.

“Honey, you made it,” her mom, Meliora, smiled happily, halting when she saw the bloody state of her daughter, but her happy expression didn’t falter.

“Hey, mom, guys,” she smiled at her family bashfully, not looking them in the eyes. “I’m gonna clean up, just wanted to say hi before going upstairs,” she informed them.

“Good, you stink,” her brother Koro snorted playfully.

“Yeah, you didn’t have to say come hi, we could already smell you were here,” her oldest brother Cenric remarked just as mischievously.

They all broke into laughter and Y/n shook her head, giving her dad, Guren, a kiss on top of his greying head before making her way out of the kitchen to clean up.

Once she was done cleaning up—wearing cosy clothes from her past that her mom kept—she made her way downstairs again. Much to her dismay, she saw Dean wearing only a black t-shirt having the time of his life telling the embarrassing story about the time she got so flustered, she spit her milkshake out into the face of a woman who flirted with her when they were undercover for a Lamia case.

She wondered how he got out of the devil’s trap. She figured that maybe her parents removed it, but that wouldn’t be safe.

He smiled brightly when he looked up and saw her, acting like nothing was wrong in the world. It looked domestic, way too painfully domestic. The casualness of him leaning against the couch next to Kandora who was holding a mug of warm Champurado in her favourite yellow mug looked too natural. He wore only some socks and really looked like a boyfriend right now.

“Hey, babe,” Dean grinned and she forced a smile, making her way to him.

“Hey.”

As he wrapped his arm around her he murmured into her slightly wet hair, “you’re so lucky.” She hummed a laugh, feigning amusement and wrapped her arm around his waist to pinch his back harshly.

He tightened his grip around her and released a strained laugh before adding to the conversation, talking to her family and answering their questions the same way he would have if he weren’t a demon.

“I know we said no partners, but Dean and I were working a last minute case,” she began explaining to her mom.

“It’s okay,” Meliora smiled, “Dean explained already.” Her mother kissed her forehead and got up to check the food. “Besides, he’ll make sure there are no leftovers that will go bad.”

“Right,” she murmured, laughing softly as her mother disappeared into the kitchen with Guren getting up to help her out as well.

It was almost normal, except he’d sneak a couple of drinks—mostly alcoholic eggnog—until she could smell it in his breath, but he seemed completely unaffected by the alcohol. It was something her family didn’t catch on to throughout the evening. Although, the only one who knew about Dean’s drinking problem was Kandora—they told each other everything.

Dean was a bit more handsy as he got less sober, and he held his tongue most times to keep the conversation appropriate and respectful, save for a couple of swear words he’d exchange with Koro as they told each other stories.

When they all sat at the dinner table to finally eat, Dean kept his hand on her thigh. Occasionally, he’d pet her, sneaking his fingers teasingly between her thighs, brushing over the thin material of her thick leggings.

In response, she’d pretend to be cute and couple-y by lifting food up into his mouth and whispering warnings into his ear. She knew it only egged him on, he’d stare at her with a little smirk and even dared to kiss her with his mouth full of food, the corner of his lips smudged with tamale sauce.

He was even playful. It would have warmed her heart, except it was very irritating and hurtful to know it wasn’t even real. When Kandora dared him to eat her mom’s spiciest salsa with his tamales, he accepted the challenge, and permitted her to serve him what she wanted him to finish.

Y/n didn’t know if he was pretending or not, half the time.

Still, Dean kept up appearances by overeating, taking at least two servings of everything, even the cherry pie her little sister made especially for him once he finished eating tamales with Meliora’s spiciest salsa.

Even she resorted to drinking eggnog with alcohol to make the night easier, to loosen up a bit as Dean got clingier. She played along with Dean and finally, she was able to get away as midnight came and her family cleaned up to go to sleep.

It sucked to watch Dean help her mother wash dishes, the way he would have if he were human. As if he were truly her Dean. She was just glad he didn’t plan on hurting them, at least so far he hasn’t tried.

He just fit in perfectly with every single one of them, the way he always did. Easily moulding himself into whatever environment he was placed in. Everyone adored him, he was always so real, so loveable, so easy to talk to. He had a light to him that no one could recreate, one everyone was drawn to like moths to a flame.

“You drank too much,” she commented as she walked upstairs to her room with Dean behind her.

“Was the only way I could deal with you and not be an asshole with your whole family there,” he grunted, stepping in front of her to open the door, falling straight into her pink bed rather than holding the door open for her or shutting it behind them.

“Real thoughtful,” she muttered, shutting and locking the door of her childhood bedroom. “Get off my bed,” she ordered, making her way next to him. He only smiled, eyes closed, trying to be cute as he snuggled her pillow, verdant eyes fluttering open as he gazed up at her through long, beautiful lashes.

“Just join me instead and we can show this bed the action it’s been missing since you moved out,” Dean purred, turning over onto his back. He reached out for her wrist and tugged her forward, catching her with his arms around her waist. “You’re criticising me for drinking, but I can smell it on you, too,” he narrowed his eyes up at her.

“Shut up,” she muttered, squirming and wiggling until he let her roll over next to him. “I can’t stand you.” She grabbed the pillow beneath his head and yanked it out with a snicker, placing it between her legs as she turned over on her side.

“I’m still me,” he retorted, turning on his side to face her back.

“So ya keep sayin’,” she mumbled in irritation, trying to make her head stop spinning when she closed her eyes.

He sighed and scooted up on the bed, staring up boredly at the pink ceiling, the bright light at the centre. He knew she wasn’t asleep, she kept moving, trying to make her drunkenness stop her from sleeping peacefully.

He knew she wasn’t going to stop being angry at him, which was a complete one-eighty from the last time he saw her. She’d begged for him to come back to her, professed her undying, unchanging love for him… now, she seemed almost disgusted by him. It made him wonder what changed.

Irritation boiled in him, even jealousy made heat rise up his chest to his ears and neck. What if there was someone else?

“I’ve always wanted to get in a hot tub,” he broke the silence, staring at the back of her head as she stilled. She grunted in response after a few moments of silence and lifted the pillow between her legs up to her mouth, tight against her stomach as the alcohol decided to turn against her. “Wanna… get in?” He asked, grasping her hip and squeezing.

“We’ll… drown..” she lied, tightening her grip on the pillow when his touch sent sparks of pleasure down to her clit.

“Nah,” he murmured, sliding his hand beneath her shirt against her warm stomach to turn her onto her back, tight against his body. “Come with me,” he murmured, sliding his hand up higher.

“Fine,” she inhaled sharply, getting up faster than she should have to avoid his touch. Dizziness from the alcohol made her stumble, but she caught herself on the wall, facing the Christian Bale poster on her wall.

“Careful,” he told her, getting up from the bed to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

“Let’s just go cross it off your weird bucket-list.” She made her way to the door, forgetting to unlock it as she tugged it hard.

“You’re drunker than me,” he chuckled, unlocking the door, wrapping his large warm hand over hers to turn the doorknob and open the door. She pursed her tips and unfocused her gaze on the door until he removed his hand from hers.

They quietly made their way down the stairs and she held the wall to balance herself while Dean watched her closely. Making their way blindly through the house to the backyard, Dean laughed softly to himself, which made her shush him.

“Sorry,” he whispered, completely unapologetically, “it’s just that you’re such a good girl,” he began explaining, an undertone of sexualness in his words, “I can’t believe you agreed to this.” He sighed gleefully, opening the glass door to the outside where the hot tub was.

“I… not always,” she argued, noting a few times in which she proposed scandalous ideas to him. He started to unbuckle his belt, his shirt riding up his tummy.

“No, not always,” he agreed quietly, staring straight into her eyes as she stared hungrily at the bit of exposed skin. “But you never want your family to know we have sex,” he told her, shoving his jeans down his legs, revealing the lack of boxers.

Her eyes widened and she looked away, walking past him to fill and turn the tub on. He smirked, pleased with her reaction.

“You were really loud in the basement, though,” he recalled, pulling the shirt over his head and toeing his socks off. “So pornographic,” he added dreamily. Her face heated up and she turned to glare at him. “Hey, sorry, beautiful… Come, take your clothes off.” He laughed, then bit his lip seductively, trying to reel her in with a tilt of his head.

She scoffed at him, but began removing her clothes. He shrugged and dipped his fingers into the tub, testing the waters before stepping inside. She tripped down to her bra and underwear, which he tilted his head at disappointedly with a frown. He held his hand out for her to take and carefully helped her inside.

She scooted far away from him and slid inside so only her chin rested above the water to combat the biting December wind. He rolled his eyes at her, but let her do as she wanted, staring up at the sky which was frosted with stars, the whole gated community dark and asleep.

“How’d you get out?” She broke the awkward silence, looking around the white glazed bricks separating her parent’s home and the neighbours’ homes. The lights inside were shut off, except for the Christmas lights decorating the inside and the outside of their houses. No one was awake to peep.

“Devil's trap not gonna work on something like me,” he told her smugly, playing with the water. She hummed in irritation, looking at him. “Come closer to me,” he requested, making his way halfway to her.

Begrudgingly, she made her way to him, staring curiously at his still handsome face.

“What?” She murmured, tilting her head at him. Dean gently brushed his knuckles down her cold cheek and she moved away slightly, brows furrowing with perplexity.

“You know, to really cross it off my bucket list, we need to have sex,” he reminded her. She considered his words and grimaced, moving away from him. It stung, demon or not, to see the woman who once loved him unconditionally become disgusted by the thought of sex with him.

“No,” she whispered, “we’re drunk.”

“It’s not like we haven’t done it drunk before,” he pressed, splaying his hand over her back and cupping her jaw. She inhaled and became tense, pushing him away.

“You getting separation anxiety?” She asked scathingly, hoping to change the subject. He released her reluctantly and relaxed on his side of the tub.

“From who? Sam?” Dean asked boredly, playing with the water again, his mood sour.

“Crowley.” He glared at her, this time, he pounced on her, holding the back of her head to press his mouth to hers roughly. His tongue forcibly parted her lips, tasting the sweet eggnog and bitter alcohol in her mouth. As bile rose up to her throat, she whimpered and pushed him off. “You ass!” She splashed water into his face and he growled at her, eyes flickering black.

“Why are you being difficult?” He shouted at her, gripping her arms tightly.

“I’m not some meaningless lay,” she spat, reaching up between his arms, burying her fingers into his hair to pull roughly at his longer, honey strands, until he loosened his grip on her arms and hissed.

“I never said you were,” he seethed, wrapping his hand around her throat. She tugged his hair harder and so he immediately let her go, running his fingers down his face tiredly. “Is that what this is about? The women?” He inquired casually, like they meant nothing.

“What?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, shuddering at the cold breeze despite the flush of alcohol and the hot water.

“You heard me,” he whispered threateningly.

“Yes! Okay?” She admitted, then sighed, tears welling up her eyes. She blinked them away and clenched her jaw to keep her breath steady. She turned away, ready to climb out of the tub when Dean grabbed her elbow, moving them both into each other.

He didn’t say anything, but for the first time since he was a demon, his green eyes were cast downward in shame and regret.

“You told me that if you couldn’t have me, no one could,” she reminded him quietly.

“I meant it,” Dean reaffirmed, pulling her closer.

“That just applied to me, then?” He remained quiet, averting his gaze from hers. “What makes you think I’m letting you go now that I have you back?” His eyes snapped back to hers and they darkened.

He leaned down to kiss her again, but this time, she took his face in both of her hands, angling his face to control the kiss. Dean wrapped his arms around her, keeping her tight against his body.

Her soft tongue smoothed over his, teeth scraping, and lips bruising. Possessive and hot, she slid one hand away from his face between his legs where his cock was already erect. She curled her hand around him, pulling a deep groan from him.

He slid his hands up her back, finding the clasp of her drenched cotton bra, darkened red from the water. He quickly rid of it as she pressed and kissed him, her hand tugging his cock slowly.

His blunt nails scraped the silky skin of her shoulders, pulling down the straps until she released him for total removal of it from her body. He walked forward with her until her back was pressed against the heated wall of the tub and pulled away from her mouth to catch his breath.

He panted against her mouth, kissed her deeply once more before trailing open-mouth kisses down her neck and shoulders. His tongue picked up warm droplets that rolled from her velvety skin, his teeth grazed her collarbones and the tendons of her neck, suctioning her pulse and the sensitive parts of her.

“Remember that cat your sister had?” He murmured against her skin, moving her up slightly to attach his lips to her nipple and remove her underwear.

“Um, yeah, Tickle-toe?” She mumbled absent-mindedly, arching her back.

“Yup,” he chuckled, removing her underwear completely, throwing it out of the tub. “Always tried getting into the room when we were having sex? And then when we finally did let him in, he’d just stand there watching, or he’d lick you, or scratch me, like it was trying to be a part,” he retold, grasping both of her thighs. “Yeah, that’s Crowley.”

She laughed softly, wrapping her arm around his shoulder, her nails digging painfully into his skin to the point of breakage. Dean moaned softly, pushing her fully against the wall of the tub, spreading her thighs wide open so they were pressed against the wall.

He nuzzled his face into hers, brushing his lips softly against hers as his cock nudged teasing through her folds and past her clit. With her free hand, she wrapped a hand around his cock and guided him to her entrance.

Dean was gentle at first, slowly pushing in while his teeth sunk into her bottom lip. The pull out and the push in was slow as he felt the drag of the water, the way it slowed him before he began to fuck her earnestly. He released her lip to smash his mouth against hers, matching the painful thrust of his hips against hers.

She clung to his waist, moaning wantonly into his mouth as his cock stretched her walls, the length of it brushing wonderfully against the most sensitive parts of her, driving her crazier and crazier, driving her deeper into pleasure.

“Think I’m gonna fuck someone this good, this raw, with this much passion?” He panted against her mouth as she pulled him closer. She gasped loudly, squeezing his cock so tightly he growled deeply against her. “D’you think I’ll ever feel this love for anyone, for someone who isn’t you?” Her toes curled and she dropped her forehead to his shoulder, moaning his name softly, pulling his body closer to hers.

“Please,” she whispered, chuckling breathlessly as he thrusted roughly and shallowly into her. He tightened his grip on her thighs, bruising her thighs, cutting her soft flesh with his fingernails, moaning with her as his body thrummed with life he hadn’t felt since he became a demon.

She squirmed as she approached her orgasm, her warm walls pulsing around his cock. Her mouth found his once more, their lips moved together messily, violently like their love, until they both fell apart.

He sucked her bottom lip and pulled away breathlessly with a smirk.

“Come with me,” he whispered, unhanding her thighs so she could wrap her legs around him instead. He held her closely, too, folding his arms around her waist.

“Ask me again in the morning,” she murmured, kissing his prickly jaw. “When I’m not drunk. When the afterglow’s gone.” She pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth and he nodded in agreement, staying in the tub for a few moments before they untangled each other's limbs.

“Will your answer be different?” He quizzed, holding her chin between his two fingers. She tongue poked out to lick her bottom lip, followed by a thoughtful bit of her lip.

“No.”

Dean dipped down to peck her lips, lingering for a few thuds of his heartbeat before pulling away and kissing the top of her head.

“I’ll stay,” he promised, moving both of them out of the tub into the freezing cold. Dripping in water, they put their clothes back on with much difficulty, laughing quietly. Somewhat drunk still, they cleared out the tub and tried to get dry with Dean’s t-shirt before heading inside to shower and sleep in her childhood bed where they continued to do unspeakable things in the darkness as quietly as they could to not be discovered.

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