#so im just. just trying to comprehend whats going on vs what i should have done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stealingyourbones · 1 year

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Your asks are back! Im prolly gonna send a few tomorrow bc its late and i have many idea but an idea that Wont Let Me Go:

Danny gets caught by his parents. They dissect him and jazz is the one to free him, but he has to go. Now. But where does he go?

Gotham. The drs fenton went there once and caused enough chaos to be banned from the city or else risk arkham. Its the one place they might not find him.

Danielle goes with him. Maybe shed hunkered down in gotham for a bit, maybe shes passing by amity when sht hits the fan. Either way, its her and danny. They figure it wont be too hard to get by. Break into an empty apartment and hide out there until they get caught, couldnt be too hard, right?

Too bad the building they go for is the one jason stays in, as a civillian, and hes got every apartment on his floor so that the risk of a neighbor seeing him as hood is minimal. Jason has to figure out how these kids got into the apartment and who is making them spy on red hood.

He does this by giving them the one thing kids in need cant afford to turn down- free meals. He invites them over to cook and teaches them how, both to see what hes dealing with and give them those skills once theyre out of whatever situation theyre in.

This goes on for a while before jason had the horrifying realization.

Hes turing into Bruce. Two kids in need with black hair and blue eyes who tense up when vigilantes are brought up? Hes never going to live this down. Probably frantically texts dick(?) About how hes turing into bruce and then doesnt elaborate

Unbeknowst to him, theyve secretly been "treating" him by acting as filters/replacing some of his extoplasm so he can be sure of his control over his feelings. This doesnt necessarily make him 100% calm all of the time, he still gets angry pretty easily, but. Jason gets control of himself back.

As they get closer they start being significantly more domestic. Somehow nobody has crashed jasons apartment while theyre there (they dip invisibly) and jasons relationship with bruce has improved as he no longer has to worry about pit rage taking over. Hes trying to figure out how to break the news to bruce that hes a grandfather even though he hasnt officially adopted them yet.

Dani, on the other side of town, is gossiping with a cool girl at the library named barbara about how shes been trying to figure out how to tell her neighbor that Hes Her Dad Now.

(Danny doesnt call him dad. He cant, anymore. But theyre still family)

Jason decides to introduce the topic of them meeting bruce (because 1. even though its still rocky their relationship has improved and 2. He wants it to be on his terms) and dani bursts out with the "I have a GRANDPA???????" and from there on commits to calling jason her dad and bruce (unmet) her grandpa.

Bruce meets them first and is just. In awe. He has grandchildren. His emotional constipation vs his absolute adoration of the fact hes a GRANDPARENT fight fight fight.

When danny and dani eventually meet everyone theyre all like oh sick bruce picked up a duo this time nice to meet you. And they absolutely cannot comprehend it when bruce and jason walk in and dani goes to jason first. Nobody expected jason to take on bruces adoption tendencies but they should have.

(Also fun hc i couldnt work in naturally but i do fully stand by- the ectoplasm in dannys body does affect his injuries somewhat, meaning he heals naturally very quickly from most ghost fights. Why?

It heales based on emotional healing.

He doesnt really care all too much about the average cut from one of his rogues and they heal within the day, but a hit from valerie takes a few weeks.

The first injury his parents ever gave him still hurts.

He can barely move and cant talk for the first few weeks with jason. Only once he starts feeling safe with him do the cuts start coming back together.)

The casualness of “hi so glad your asks came back” [drops at least 1k worth of fucking stellar content that’s basically a fic] is just making me truly awestruck. God I’ve missed seeing y’all’s neat ideas.

I dont have any words that I can say that could describe just how wonderful this is so I’ll write a lil addition to it instead because I am in love with this sm.

Jason’s point of view when he’s slowly getting better and isnt afraid to meet his family because of the pit rage, has he explained that’s the reason he distanced himself? Do the bats just think that this is simply Jason finally getting the courage to reach out? Do they know that the Pit rage is stopping Jason and do they try to help him by using alternative means of communication? How much do they help and understand.

When Jason experiences his first injury. How much does it hurt? Valerie shoots him with an ectogun. How much is this man in pain for and does he have to fight pit rage inside him to not lash out and attack her after being injured?

And how does his core react to his new kids. This I NEED to know

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dc comics #writing prompts #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #bones replies #this is some stellar writing my guy #ever-after-aaa

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toxic-ship-tournament · 1 year

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ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 2

Esmerelda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn) vs Res x Leo (@adanaac)

who makes up your ship?:

Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW

****

who makes up your ship?:

Res and Leo

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Leo can’t remember anything that has happened to him before the age of twelve. All anyone knows is that he was in an accident that should have killed him, then he returned with an indestructible body and a void where his personality should be. He cannot comprehend good or evil, does not understand the concept known as ‘choice’, and cannot envision an existence where Res isn’t his Master. He imprinted onto Res the moment he met the other man and pushed himself into Res’ life without considering whether or not Res might want it. His first Master did not pass, he simply changed how he looked, and what he looks like now is Res. Period. He has nothing to offer, nothing to say, no emotions and no heart to give. All he knows are the facts, and the facts tell him that there is no Leo without Res. So he’ll make sure that there’s no Res without Leo. Res has always been very into science, but he isn’t too fond of how there are a bit too many restrictions on the experiments he can perform, and he’s even less fond of how they die whenever he tries some of his more ‘exciting’ stuff. Thankfully he has Leo, his little obedient puppy who will obey his every word and donate his body for research. Of course, he’s never asked him whether he was okay with that, but signing a consent form is so old school. He believes that we should be doers, not dreamers, and he’s always wanted to see what the insides of Leo’s body looked like. And all the resistance it’s putting up just makes it all the more exciting. Leo spells unending excitement, and that’s all the reason Res needs to make sure no one else has him. Res is life, but he is not Leo’s purpose for living, because Leo has not questioned whether or not life has a purpose. He doesn’t need to. Res is Leo’s Master, and Leo’s Master is the very concept of life itself. Without his Master, the earth does not spin, and the sun does not shine. Why would it be anything else? Leo is not a person, he is Res’ dream. The dream of a creature that would do nothing but obey his every word, and the dream of an anomaly that he could endlessly explore without an expiration date. A thing that Res will never get bored of. To Res, Leo is just an adorable lab rat who happens to be the only one in the world who can fulfill his dreams. He does not care for Leo, the person, because Leo is not a person, but he does care about Leo, the humanoid playground that belongs to Res, and Res alone. This is love, because love is when someone makes your heart race, and love is when someone makes you feel like you’re free-falling into obsession. Res loves him, loves him, loves him loves him loves himloveshim. Just as we don’t get emotionally attached to the oxygen that keeps our heart beating, Leo does not get emotionally attached to Res, and he doesn’t need to. This isn’t love, it’s something more than that. Love can change, fade and evolve- it’s fickle, fleeting and easily manipulated. What Leo and Res have is a constant. Res belongs with Leo, and Leo belongs with Res. Don’t argue with the facts. Because you’re wrong, and Leo will make sure you know you’re wrong, no matter who you are. It’s a good thing they’re with each other, and no one else. (Leo is Uno's oc, Res is Canada's oc. Above description written by Uno. Canada's description below) They're basically like those AITA stories where both are the asshole and its a good thing they're together and making each other worse. btw Res is the short pink one and Leo is the tall one.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

#alice x esmerelda #res x leo #cantdanceflynn #adanaac #toxic ship tournament

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sothischickshe · 1 year

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Thank you 😘😘

4. How much do you trust the reader?

Oof well the reader im most concerned by atm (cos ~theoretically stumbling through a draft😓) is me, and I'm not sure I trust that bitch at all 😅😅

This concept [particularly re ~comprehending the story/aspects] is a bit of a tricky balancing act I think, bc if you as the writer have sat with something for a long time espec while editing/rewriting/tinkering it can be really hard to get a sense of what does come through clearly, espec in a first/single read. And with serialised fiction like multi part fic which isn't published at a fast regular clip, it's impossible to know how much a reader might recall about what's happened already (maybe fic chapters need a 'previously on' segment?!).

Plus and maybe especially as a lover of ambiguity, it can be really hard to know if the sense/s you've tried to convey as an author have come across coherently. I think that's just something you have to accept if that's a style you prefer, and you can figure out how to develop certain aspects/skills better to help; if you want to be surer of things coming across relatively clearly you may have to explicate pretty explicitly and/or repeat more.

But I suppose this is why writing primarily for oneself is important -- if it works for you, then maybe by definition it works for this idealised reader 🤪 both in terms of quality but also of joy, eg if you include easter eggs which make you cackle, maybe they'll brighten someone else's day too!!

further, if you wanna trust the reader, you've gotta create a scenario where they can trust the writer, SuReLy? For example, if you as writer HAVEN'T nailed down what's happening with characters on and off the page or how truthful they're being (in convos but also ~pov) that tends to show; trust of hypothetical ppl probs needs to be earned too.

Ofc whomsoever 'the reader' is is gonna be varied! Can you trust that any reader is going to pick up on your context clues? Obviously not! But I do think writing towards an idealised good faith audience concept can be encouraging.

I suppose it also depends on what you're hoping to trust the reader to do tho! if you can identify, maybe you can ~aid:

Eg: to read your story? Well OK, maybe you can promote it better. To read your story alllll the way to the end? Well OK, maybe you need to focus on making it continually engaging; cut some chaff; have an endpoint in mind. Trust the reader to respond/feed back to the story? Well you can at least request that if it's important to you, and specifying what areas you particularly seek it for will likely help. Trust the reader to interrogate the story? Well, I think certain styles probably encourage this. Trust the reader to reread the story? Well, you better make it engaging then!! Etc etc

Ultimately, I've had ppl comment on my stories in a way which implies they've misunderstood what I was trying to convey, maybe that means I've left it too vague, or that they were bringing their own assumptions and/or didn't read carefully. Does that mean I should trust no readers/completely change how I write? I don't think so, espec when I've also had other ppl engage with the ambiguity in a positive way, or try to crack a secret of the story open, or take the time to try to understand references they weren't familiar with at first glance, or ref things implied-but-not-stated as if they were on the page. It DOES mean though I can consider that it may be worth clarifying or repeating important points if I want them to def be understood by more readers, and that there's some areas where it's probs worth being more specific (eg did I think the setting was obvious cos I could imagine it clearly but maybe that didn't translate and someone could get it totally wrong?). Also how you approach this for different kinds of stories can be v different! Eg a 1500 word short story can easily be v ambiguous & fun for a reader to play with interpreting vs a 200k one probs needs more clarity to not alienate the audience -- if you're referencing line 1 on line one million without any mention of that topic in btwn, I'm not sure you can expect ppl to remember what you're on about!

So I suppose it's about deciding what reader/s you wanna be able to trust -- just you? Just an idealised perf reader type? Or more broadly, and if so how wide? Can you make it work on multiple levels?? And overall yea, I don't think you can be asking an audience to trust you without making it abundantly clear you're trustable at storytelling!

Writing meme: ashamed edition!

#Ty this was fun! 😊😊😊#I think i just need to remove my head and shake it a few times😅#Writing #On writing #Life advice #On reading #Did I actually answer the q? 😅 I trust the reader: middling amount ig

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zahroreadsthings · 8 months

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hmm vriska thoughts under the cut

putting this under the cut because it's going to be mostly incoherent rambling from someone who wasn't around for the vriscourse but i mentioned in a tag before vriska's actions followed a pretty simple pattern to me and i want to study her like a bug

like a lot of things boil down to

she gives the distinct impression that she had bad choices, didn't see a way out, and eventually decided to get comfortable (eg killing trolls to feed her lusus - she's not shown to have a problem with it, but also seems disappointed after her conversation with kanaya when she sees her lusus is still alive, and also doesn't take up karkat's offer to bring her lusus back to life)

i think this eventually devolved to her thinking she doesn't have control over her actions or their consequences at all, which in turn (ironically, given her whole thing) made her incredibly easy to manipulate (rolling her dice and determining she has bad luck she can't fight against, and then being exploited by doc scratch - he says at least once 'you'll do this anyway, i'm just telling you what's already been laid out'), which she uses to absolve herself of responsibility

which isn't to say she has no responsibility, obviously; the thing that pulls it all together is the way she exploits others she sees as beneath her. in her first few appearances i remember thinking 'peak white woman' - but obviously not just a white woman thing, i'm sure any member of a marginalised community knows at least someone else who's marginalised and tries to feel better about their position in society by exploiting people with less social/political power (side note: i also think she feels her position among the 'blue bloods' is precarious too; if terezi's comment to aradia about being a little too teal for their tastes is anything to go by that would mean her caste neighbour is also on thin ice)

and i'm sure her whole thing can largely be chalked up to her relationship with her lusus; in the best case scenario she fed her lusus of her own free will, and in the worst case scenario (if [s] make her pay is any indication of the power a lusus has over their troll) it's entirely possible spidermum had at least some direct control over vriska's actions

(which also means that if that is the case she's very new to making decisions without outside influence, and that's a skill we all develop) (and boy is she not doing great <3)

so personally, the question i kept in mind while reading act 5 act 1 wasn't 'did vriska do anything wrong/was she justified' but 'how much control over a situation does she have vs how much does she think she has vs how much does she pretend to have' because those are all wildly different

which is all to say, after reading this her decision to wake john up and claim responsibility for making him a hero makes complete sense

AG: Relaaaaaaaax.

AG: Listen, John.

AG: Regardless of what I did, he is already here.

AG: I know this consequence will 8e hard for you to accept, 8ut whenever you feel angry or confused a8out it, just repeat this to yourself.

AG: It should 8ecome your mantra!

AG: He is already here.

like. im sure she's trying to pass on the rules to john that she's lived by lol, I genuinely dont think she's able to comprehend a life outside of predetermination

#zahro reads homestuck #im sure im not adding anything new to the conversation i just really love this scrunkly little freak #also if anything sounds stupid i typed this up at near midnight <3

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sunriseverse · 9 months

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consider: hypersexual xue yang vs. sex-averse song lan. both of their relationships with sex are horrible. song lan’s tried multiple times and he just can’t. he’s embarrassed about it. it makes him feel bad. in his mind he’s an adult and this is something he should able to do because that’s what he’s always been told. right? right? xue yang thinks song lan can’t possibly like him if he won’t even touch him. all of his previous relationships were primarily about the sex. in his mind relationships = having sex. he’s just used to having a lot of sex in general because it’s his body and he can have a lot of sex if he wants to. he likes sex! so what? (he does not want to think about any other possible reasons he might be so obsessed with sex.) this is the source of A LOT of fighting. xue yang is so in the wrong here but he literally just can’t comprehend it and it hurts him so bad. he already can’t shake the feeling that song lan thinks he’s disgusting (even though it’s just song lan’s ocd and he cannot help it) and now this. song lan also ends up feeling like shit because shouldn’t be able to give his partner that? and what about xiao xingchen? does he feel that way? does he think it and not say it?

and then xxc comes in like, have you heard of exhibitionism? just because he doesn’t like participating doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to watch. but it sort of turns out that xue yang doesn’t like being watched, at least not when it’s phrased like that, and also xiao xingchen’s getting tired of being the peacekeeper here.

(in this particular scenario, i imagine they’re boyfriends but kind of mad about it. but they actually do like each other. they smile and laugh and joke and make each other feel nice. but also really bad sometimes. but they want xxc to be happy. and they’re already around each other so much, it’s kind of hard to avoid being relationship-y sometimes)

literally. okay. taking a moment to press my face into my hands and scream silently. how do you once again. know EXACTLY what vague thoughts have been percolating in my head. what witchcraft. what sorcery.

yeahhhhhh yeah yeah like. they both have. fucking terrible relationships with sex but they Refuse to Think About It in like. opposite directions. xy is like im normal this is normal everything is totally normal and fine! (its. so very very not. sobs quietly.) and sl is like clearly i am wrong and broken and i need to Try Harder even if it makes me feel Fucking Miserable And Bad (also wrong. so wrong. oh zichen please let me cradle you like a beloved ccat and whisper endearments and press little kisses to the top of your head.) and so they wind up in this situation where like. they’re both trying to do what they think they Should Do even when like. it makes them both feel Bad (in similar but differing flavours). and like. xy’s rejection sensitive dysphoria plus literally every other fucking thing he’s got going on that makes him prone to and paranoid about sl hating him just going fucking BONKERS every time sl withdraws and turns in on himself. and sl grappling with this horrible conviction that maybe they both kind of secretly hate him because he can’t do this ONE fucking Normal Thing. delicious. i’m chewing on it.

and you’re right xxc IS tired and like. he doesn’t deserve to constantly play mediator!!!!! that’s not a fair role to him or anyone else involved here!!!!!!!!! what they NEED is to sit down and talk shit out and come prepared with prewritten lists of their concerns and wants and dislikes and so forth. bangs my gavel on the table RELATIONSHIP NEGOTIATION!!!!!! NEOW!!!!!!!!!!!

(and yes that’s literally the perfect thing i think like. they’re not exactly together in the “normal” way but also like they’re not NOT together. but they make each other happy!!!! and also sad and hurt and angry!!!!! and safe!!!!!!! and they live together and they’re dating the same person so tjeyre like. doing couple things. and it’s nice!!!!!!!! they’re just also both trying Really Hard to not think about it because that way lies madness.)

#ask #okay. is this coherent. i’m trying to put all my thoughts into words #but they keep jumbling up #anyway. love this. love your mind. thank you for ever and ever.#c.txt #yi city anon

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ectonurites · 3 years

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i would love to see someone explore jason both as an adult who makes concious decisions about murder, who creates his own moral codex, and who doesn't hesitate to spill blood if he thinks it's right, and as someone who has ptsd from traumatic life in poverty, seeing his own parents die/rot away, and from being murdered slowly and painfully at the age of 15 and then coming back and mentally comprehending that still in his teens, and all the rage he feels, like angry and murderous jason in control vs angry and murderous jason out of control (also the fact that he came back as 18/19 year old and never had proper stationary/human support in his life afterwards, and how much also that fucked him up...)

ok im finally starting to go back and answer some old asks BUT YEAH!!! YAH YEAH YEAH!!!

Jason has some of the most interesting potential as a character, there are so many complexities and layers to his actions and why he does things the way he does, but I just feel like DC has dropped the ball on him so bad because Jason basically exists as a challenge to Batman and even though everything Jason does isn’t right he does make points! And DC never wants Batman to look bad or wrong for more than maybe part of a story at a time, but it won’t be part of their status quo. So he gets watered down and shipped off to go do Outlaws stuff (2011 putting him on a team with two heroes who don’t really kill, and 2016 setting him in Gotham adopting a no-kill rule to fit in with the fam) or he’s there for all the big batfam group stuff but again not... doing the main thing he was reinvented as the Red Hood to do: Challenge the bats.

Like, man, I absolutely understand a desire for the bats to be a big happy family but making Jason be part of that just with ‘oh ya know Jason our little black sheep’ rather than actually looking at the huge difference in morals he has from the rest of them... it just cheapens his character. Like for fan content go wild and do what makes you happy that’s what fan content is for, but in terms of the actual official comics Jason should not be included in group things nearly as often as he is. (Like, Joker War makes total sense for him to be part of because of his Joker trauma but like, man, even though I thought he was handled pretty well when there in the Batwoman Trial thing in Detective Comics 2016 him being included in a round table about the morality of another person in the batfam killing someone at all just feels so wrong to me. That’s just a completely different Jason than the guy I became interested in from before the reboot, ya know?)

I really enjoyed the first part of Zdarsky’s new Jason story though in Urban Legends, and based on the new preview panels for the next part (which includes Jason talking about the difference between killing nameless faceless guys who were attacking him vs him impulsively killing someone, and how much the second thing was fucking him up, I think that’s definitely an interesting take that feels in line with Jason. Because when Jason knows someone is evil and bad and trying to hurt innocent people he will take them down, that’s what he does, but when it’s a heat of the moment thing and he knows the little kid who he’s gonna have to break the news to that his dad is dead, that’s so much harder) I think he’s taking a really cool route with him as a character.

But yeah in general I just... want nuanced Jason takes, from fandom and official content. Not just ‘oh hes crazy from the pit sometimes but otherwise hes fine’ or chalking it up to just angst or whatever. I just... care the him, and am so glad Lobdell is hopefully never gonna touch him again 😌

#Anonymous

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hannie-dul-set · 5 years

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came down from heaven

— each and every human on earth has their designated angel to keep them safe from harm's hands. sadly, yn's previous guardian had to resign from protecting her due to some circumstances. so now, yoon jeonghan's taking over.

20 // heaven vs. hell

word count: 1,105

a/n: hello hello im back, bitches 😔💗💞 sksk did y'all miss my annoying ass being on your dash lmao (probably not but you rlly have no choice) anyways!! ily all pls enjoy 💗

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masterlist

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"thank you, come again!"

the moment the customer had left your peripheral vision, your previous wide grin melted downwards. you placed your fingers on both sides of your cheeks, gently rubbing circles and letting out a long-awaited sigh.

acting fake was hard work— you couldn't comprehend how some people could pull it off every single day.

your hand reached towards the pocket of your jeans. you were about to pull out the god-sent object that was your phone but a sudden thought put you to a halt.

just a couple more minutes, yn. you breathed. just a couple more minutes til' jeonghan and ice cream—

the chime of a bell interrupted your thoughts and you let out a huff of air. you begrudgingly brought another fake smile to your lips and readied yourself to face another customer.

"hello, welcome! what can i get you?"

"a little bit of your time sounds nice."

your wandering attention was brought back upon hearing the familiar sound of a deep, resonating voice.

"what? did you forget about me already?"

your lips were brought into a curved smile. you leaned forward, elbow propping on the counter and your cheek resting on your palm. "of course not. it's nice to see you again, seungmin"

it was almost comical on how quick his grin dissolved and replaced by an evident pout. he furrowed his brows and opened his mouth— ready to fill your ears with a plethora of whines and complaints.

"i'm kidding," you laughed, eyes forming into small crescents. "welcome back, cheol."

he crossed his arms, looking at you with an obviously fake hurt expression.

"really? that's how you treat me after i saved your butt at the subway?" he scoffed. "talk about ungrateful."

you stuck your tongue out at him. "hey, you offered."

"and you accepted."

"well—" you started, ready to present your argument, but you didn't say anything (more like you couldn't). you pressed your lips together and let out a quiet 'hmph' in annoyance. "well played, seungcheol."

he winked at you. that damned bastard.

"so," you decided to just get this over with before he could torment you any further. "what would you like?"

at your words, he went into a thinking pose and stared at the menu located above your head. he was obviously faking it, probably just to get to your nerves, so you glared at him. all he did was laugh at your failed attempt at being intimidating.

you let out a huff of air, and he laughed harder, much to your chagrin. letting out a groan, you hollered.

"just hurry up and—"

"order already."

the both of your eyes widened, turning your heads towards the direction of the voice's owner (who was in fact, behind seungcheol for quite some time now).

there was a sudden brightness in your expression upon seeing the male.

"jeonghan!" with a wide smile, you beamed at him.

he didn't seem to hear you. instead, he and seungcheol were eyeing each other, a thick coat of tension filling the previous light air. their expressions were unreadable, and none of them uttered a single thing— that made you feel a sudden rush of nerves. do they know each other? i don't think so.

your eyes travelled back and forth from jeonghan to seungcheol. deciding that you could not handle the atmosphere any further, you let out a sharp and loud cough— making them realize that yes, you were still there.

jeonghan's attention immediately went to you.

"yn," he spoke, completely ignoring seungcheol as if he did just have a stare down with him a few seconds back. you wouldn't ask him about what the hell was that about— at least not yet. "your shift is over, i hope you haven't forgotten about our little get away."

your head snapped towards the wall clock situated on your left. 5:37.

"oh gosh. just give me a sec, han." you told the blonde. he gave you a small nod in response and then walked over near the exit to wait for you.

you let out a quiet sigh, hoping that seungcheol wouldn't be able to hear. "so, what did you want to order, cheol?"

"oh no it's fine you should get going."

"what?" you looked at him incredulously.

he chuckled. "go on, you friend's waiting for you. besides, you technically aren't getting paid to get my order."

"b-but it's just gonna be quick so—"

"yn."

you blinked. "are— are you sure?"

"holy shit, just go," he shooed you away, giving you a smile of reassurance.

you ended up scrambling out from behind the counter and into the break room. you hastily took off your uniform (which really only consisted of an apron and a hat) then made your way towards the exit. as you passed by seungcheol, giving him one quick glance.

are you really really sure? you mouthed. he gave you a thumbs up before diverting his attention to your co-worker to give his order.

you sighed in relief, marching towards jeonghan.

"you took your time," he mused.

"hey, i went as fast as i could!" you heaved, chest rising and falling from your shortness of breath. he placed his hand on top of your head, gently ruffling it while letting out a laugh.

"i could tell. seems like you need to work out, sweetheart." you slapped his hand away and fixed the mess that was your hair, continuing to give him your less than deadly glares.

"anyways," he opened the door and the jingle of the bell rang. "shall we go?"

"fine," you sneered. "but only for the ice cream."

"guess you're walking then."

"wait nevermind, i'm sorry—"

he gleamed, quickly pinching your cheeks to which you wanted whine in defiance but you didn't want to end up walking home.

"kidding," he snickered. "wouldn't want the princess to get tired."

you groaned, walking ahead of him. "you're tiring."

"you love me."

that caught you off guard. you stopped in your tracks and nearly stumbled, covering your pink-tinted cheeks with you hands. "y-you wish—"

"my wishes tend to come true," jeonghan passed by you, grabbed you by the hand, and led you to his car— all while you were still trying to recover from your augmenting embarrassment.

he opened his car door, gesturing for you to get in. "c'mon. what are you waiting for, sweetheart?"

"i— sorry," you squeaked and went inside, him following behind you.

the car ride was silent— minus jeonghan's constantly buzzing phone, but for some reason he wasn't answering it. you were finally nearing the ice cream shop when it finally dawned on you.

he was still holding your hand.

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buckyspetpsychopath · 5 years

Text

Celebrity crush

David Dobrik x reader

Vlogsquad

Masterlist

I walk onto the set for my interview. I am a model. I was doing a interview today and I'd seen lots of other people do the interview and it seemed like a good time.

i sit down and we start filming. We get a couple questions in and i’m having fun.

-who is your celebrity crush?

The interviewer asks and immediately i blush and my manager groans. “don’t get her started” she yells so the camera can hear and i giggle.

“my celebrity crush is david dobrik, he’s a vlogger and hes the cutest person on this planet” i laugh and throw the paper towards my manager who was rolling her eyes behind camera.

“what is a vlogger?” The interviewer asks.

“they like video their day and then compile it into a video, in davids case he does it for 4 minutes and 20 seconds” i snort getting a couple laughs. “but him and his friends are awesome, they’re called the vlogsquad and theyre just crazy, but in the best way” i explain and they nod so we continue with the questions.

“if you were to collaborate with one other celebrity who would it be?”

“well if it was modelling i think its only fair to say kendall jenner or something, i met her at the victorias secret show and we exchanged numbers. we talk quite a lot so i think that would be cool” i humbly brag. “But also as im such a huge fan of vlogsquad, id really like to dance with mariah” i giggle and turn my head to the camera. “i think you’d find that two running themes in my life are chipotle and vlogsquad videos” i laugh and shrug. The interview ends and i go home. About a week later the interview airs on youtube and i sit down to watch it, blushing at how much i spoke about david dobrik.

Davids POV*

I was just chilling at my house with todd, Scott, zane, heath, natalie and alex when Jason and Trisha burst in.

“Trisha was watching an interview and you guys need to see it” Jason says collapsing on the couch and connecting to my TV. A moment later the model y/n pops up on the screen, also my celebrity crush. The guys look at me and laugh. Little did we know she had mentioned us.

“Who is your celebrity crush” she is asked and i lean forward.

“my celebrity crush is david dobrik, he’s a vlogger and hes the cutest person on this planet” she laughs and my heart stops. The guys jump up and start freaking out. She starts explaining to everyone wht vlogging is and what we do but i can only hear my heart beating.

“Dude she likes you!” Zane screams.

“She said youre the cutest person on this planet, like how cute. I knew when i saw it i had to show you” trisha laughs. Im still sat on the couch shell shocked.

“Dude” todd hits my arm and a flip switches, i jump up and start woohing. The guys all laugh and do the same patting my back.

“Should i dm her? She might think im weird? What if she didnt mean it and it was just like a joke, shes probably confused or something i mean shes a model. Shes friends with the jenners and she was in the victorias secret show why would she have a crush on me?” I ramble.

“I dont know dog but she does. She likes YOU” jason says pointing the camera in my face that id failed to notice. My face heats up and I lay back on the couch trying to act calm.

A couple days later

Normal POV*

I had seen Jason Nash’s video and it had given me butterflies seeing David’s reaction. I didn’t even comprehend that he could’ve watched the interview but I don’t regret it. I was in the middle of a photo shoot when I’m sat on a chair.

I shrug and start posing when all of a sudden the music stops and I hear a lot of shouts behind me. I turn around quickly and the first person I see is David Dobrik. I almost choke and fall back on my chair but David rushes forward and catches me, holding me bridal style. My eyes widen and he laughs whilst turning me to everyone else, which was surprisingly the most of the rest of the vlogsquad.

I look up at David and he smiles down at me.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” He whispers.

“Y-you too” I blush as he sets me on the floor again. I look around at all the vlogsquad waiting to speak with me, watching my reaction. “Omg I need a minute” I choke out crouching on the floor. I hear a lot of laughs and try to calm my breathing. I stand up again and start hugging them as a greeting. When I’ve got through everyone that was there: David, Todd, Scott, Kristen, Jason, Trisha, Carly, Erin, Alex, Corinna, Heath, zane and Mariah, I hold my cheeks in amazement.

“Wait, what is going on? Is this actually real?” I ask earning more laughs.

“We could ask the same to you!” Zane comments and I blush.

“I contacted them after that interview, thought you needed to stop whining on and on about them” my manager smiles. “And david” she adds sending a wink his way. My face drains of colour and I turn to him.

“Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed” I exclaim and he laughs walking forward to hug me again.

“If it helps, you’re my celebrity crush too. I never stop talking about you to the guys” he whispers in my ear. “Do you think when we get a minute alone I could get your number?” He asks quietly pulling away. I raise my eyebrows at him and he smirks. I giggle and send him a wink, confirming.

“So what now” I laugh as everyone awkwardly stands around. The crew had turned the cameras off and I dread the moment it’s uploaded to the internet. The photo shoot is clearly over, considering it wasn’t even real.

“Well why don’t you go get changed and we can hang out” jason smiles and I all too eagerly rush off to change into my regular clothes. When I come back they all smile and we leave, we split off into cars and I near collapse when David takes my hand leading me towards his Tesla. My eyes widen as I look up at him and he smirks.

“You wanna drive?” He grins and my eyes almost pop out.

“You don’t let anyone drive your Tesla” me and Jason say at the same time and we laugh at each other. David shrugs and holds his arm out pointing me towards the door. I smile and head towards the drivers seat. When we get seated the car is silent, Alex, corinna, Jason And Trisha we’re riding with us.

“David you don’t let anyone drive your car!” Trisha exclaims and david groans.

“Why’s everyone saying that” he sighs.

“Because it’s true!” All four of them yell and I blush as he looks at me embarrassed. I lean over and rest my hand on his knee and he seems to calm down. He starts pointing out to me how to put it in drive and everything and I start driving towards the mall so we could all pick up some food. We have the radio on and Jason and david are filming while we all jam out.

“Oh yeah, guys this is y/n” David laughs into his camera so I wave, taking my eyes off the road for a second. Soon enough we reach the mall and wait for the others to arrive, it doesn’t take long. We go to the food court as we all want different things. We agree to meet in the middle and we go off to our respective food places. David and I are the only ones who decide to go to chipotle so we head in that direction. We order and then we’re waiting in line chatting, getting to know each other when there are a bunch of squeals behind us.

“Omg you’re David Dobrik”

“It’s y/n y/l/n”

“Omg are you guys dating?”

A load of teen girls scream. I glance at David and he’s laughing whilst recording them. We say hi to the girls and take pictures. Our food is called so we pick it up and when we turn the group had gotten a lot bigger.

“Look guys, we wanna meet everyone but could you respect that we’re about to eat. Well take pictures after”David says and they all start off into chatter. The only way to get to the “squad” who were sat in the food court with their respective meals was to go through the group. So, David laces his hand in mine and pulls me with him through the crowd. I’m blushing as he keeps hold of my hand even as we get passed the group and all the way to the table. We sit down and are teased for it of course, but David waves it off as just trying to get through the group. We finish our food in peace and then split off to take pictures.

When we’re done we decide to go back to David’s, to avoid another situation like this. Some people go home, so it leaves Jason, Trisha, corinna, Todd, Scott, Kristen, Heath, Mariah and zane going back to David’s.

“Well this was a totally unplanned day, I got to meet my favourite people, drive David’s Tesla and I’m going to his house” I joke and they all laugh. We make it to David’s and the boys immediately crack out the beers. I meet natalie, giving her a huge hug and she seems ecstatic that I wanted to meet her. We all sit on the couch and they take turns getting to know me better.

“I feel like a make a wish kid or something” I snort and they laugh.

“You’re part of the squad now kid” Todd smiles hitting my foot with his. I smile wide and look towards David who smiles brightly at me and my heart leaps.

“I think we gotta mention though how david was just as equally shitting bricks this morning” corinna teases.

“Yeah you’re his celebrity crush too, nonstop talks about you” jason chimes in.

“He watched the entire VS show just to see you in it” Todd winks and David groans.

“Guys can you stop”

“I think it’s cute. Maybe I’ll show you one of my outfits one day” I giggle as a joke and the guys all ‘ooooh’ whilst David goes bright red.

Everyone falls into their own conversations so I scoot closer to David who was pressed into the corner of the couch.

“I still can’t believe I’m here” i exclaim and he laughs resting his arms behind my head.

“I can’t believe a model is sitting on my couch. A model who has a crush on ME” He sticks his tongue out and I smile.

“Are you joking? You’re hot as fuck David” I grin and he stops his playful grin, getting more serious.

“Do you wanna go see my garden?” He blurts and I laugh, nodding and getting up, pulling him up with me.

We’re barely noticed as we head outside going right to the end of the garden. The sun had started to set as we lean against his glass fence.

“I feel like we’ve known each other for ages, not just today” he whispers.

“Me too. I’d really like to get to know you more though, I don’t want you to just be my celebrity crush” I whisper back. He bites his lip and turns his head towards me.

“Is it absolutely too soon if I were to kiss you right now” He asks gently and I shrug.

“Life’s to short for waiting” I mumble and grab the back of his hair softly pulling him towards me and connecting our lips. He wraps his arms around my waist and we smile into the kiss.

“That was amazing” I comment and he raises his eyebrows.

“So I can do it again” he teases.

“You better” I joke as he captures my lips with his again, slowly moving to prod my lips with his tongue. I open my mouth slightly and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in. We start making out when suddenly there are a lot of shouts and lights pointed towards us. We pull away out of breath and laugh as everyone freaks out.

#david dobrik imagine #david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david's vlogs #vlog squad #david dobrik vlogs #vlog squad imagines #david dobrik imagines #imagine #x reader

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fairycosmos · 5 years

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chloe i agree 1005 w your post about makeup. its so fucking stupid and we all know why we feel the need to wear it (hardly ever fun purposes) but i wear it everyday when i go to public places and i feel so guilty but i just honestly get treated with kindness from boys now and they used to bully me so im so conflicted what i should do bc makeup has become a shield to protect myself :( anyways i wanted to ask u how do u deal with this? do you wear makeup? love you

to be honest i still haven't found an all encompassing answer but!! i think if you look at the relationship you have with your body as a mentality that has been ingrained into you from a young age, and not as something you need to feel guilty for, then it's easier to come to terms with your insecurities. the world counts on your self hatred just as it counts on mine. it's not your fault that girls are only seen as human if we meet a certain standard and it's not your fault that sexism exists. i don't blame you at all for wanting to live a peaceful and happy life, for wanting validation. when you're a woman, how you look seems to determine whether or not you experience those things. :/ but ultimately the blame is not on those who wear makeup, it is on those (companies, influencers, cooperations) who dehumanise us - even indirectly, even just through implications - simply for existing in our natural state. yeah i wear it, even knowing it's a whole scam. because the years i spent being taught to literally despise myself have not disappeared just because now im old enough to comprehend the logistics behind it. the shame runs deep, intercepts with other factors such as lack of money n mental illness. they set it up that way. it is malicious, we should be upset. being aware of it is a good place to start but it doesn't solve everything.

that being said here are a few things that helped me a bit:

a. try to remain bare faced at least two days out of the week. familiarise yourself with your natural appearance n acknowledge that it is nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it define you.

b) periodically remind yourself of the extent of consumerist and makeup culture. you're just another customer in the eyes of those who make u feel bad. it has nothing to do with how you look and everything to do with making money. recognize that. understand how truly ridiculous it is to be expected to buy this shit/meet these ideals. it's very freeing. they want it to seem like contentment is impossible, so you keep buying. that's their business model.

c. control your online space. try not to follow people who are simply walking advertisments. there are thousands of artists and cool creators to focus on instead. if you're constantly being fed these falsified images of performative life styles, your existence will never feel up to par because it is real and unedited.

d. work on self neutralisation if self love is too hard. your mouth is unconcerned with beauty, it's there so you can eat and breathe. your legs don't care about being slim, they're getting you from one place to the next. your body is working hard to keep you healthy, to carry you through the world. it deserves some appreciation for that. it's not just your friend, it's you as much as your soul is you. try to go easy on yourself even if it feels like a lie.

e. self reflect. if you catch yourself thinking less of someone bc of how they look, examine where that urge comes from n try to deconstruct it.

anyway this got too long and it's very messy but im so. tired of being marketed to, shamed, consumed, sexualised, scorned etc and i believe......if we just take back control in any way we can, even through the smallest of efforts, then we will notice a difference. apparently just leaving the front door with a fresh face is a radical act. and even if at the start you can only manage to do that a few times a month, at least you're trying. we'll spend our whole lives purging ourselves of toxic messages bro. it's ok for it to take time. the dualism of 'i want to be hot' vs 'i want to feel comfortable being myself' is something a lot of people struggle with, but the latter will win if you want it to. because there is no choice but to accept yourself when you realize this is a cultural game we're supposed to die trying to win. boys and the world will have to suck it up. literally WHAT is the alternative

#sometimes it's not enough tho. logically i know these things and i cry every day about how ugly i am #it might be like that for a while. eye love dystopia!#anon

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dragonlobertmab · 4 years

Text

A very deep and thoughtful conversation I had with a small child on TF2

Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: La sucky player vs some pretty good players Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: this wont end well for me ★Cookie★ was automatically assigned to team RED (Voice) ★Cookie★: Spy! Crocop: try something besides pyro Crocop: maybe you might do something ★Cookie★ left the game (Removed from match by system) Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I just need to get one more thing for the dragons fury Crocop: it's just you and me bb Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I just noticed everytime one of us dies the announcer will just say team wipe *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: shiiite Crocop: ill go pyro Crocop: if u want Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Nah id rather have one free kill and then switch my own calss tbh Crocop: good luck Crocop: it's those micro dodges Crocop: that count Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No my aim jsut reallly sucks Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: just& Crocop: that too *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: ye cheaky motherfucker Crocop: no need to touch you Crocop: my friend the cliff Crocop: will do the honors *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: your score: 16 mine : 0 Crocop: o wel Crocop: you're learning Crocop: young padawan Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: if you werent pyro this would honestly be much easier Crocop: oh Crocop: alright ill switch class then Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: K Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: At least your nice about this Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: oh you little FUCKING SHIT Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i fuckin hear that Crocop: good Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: where he hell did ye put it now Crocop: somwhere Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Im gonna see if you have a pattern of some sort Crocop: good idea Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: A dispenser now Crocop: hmm Crocop: this isnt fair Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: That would be correct Crocop: okay *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: oh shit *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: that was fast as hell Crocop: good sentreh :D Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i wouldntve died if i hadnt hit the wall Crocop: you don't fuck with my dispenser Crocop: im sorry *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: mission failed well try again next time Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: NO *DEAD* Crocop: ya got me Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: YOU WILL NOT PUT A DAMNED SENTRY THERE Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: that didnt count in the contract *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I need to hit you twice and kill you i think Crocop: good luck Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Just dont piss me off and i wont a get kills Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Well piss me off too much i just get slightly worse then i already am *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: what killed me Crocop: a pipe bomb *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i just pooped *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: popped* Crocop: takes a while to detonate Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: no explosion or anything just a death Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Seriously just so i can switch to an easier calss to use can i just get a free kill on ye Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: class* Crocop: gotta work for it Crocop: pyro is the perfect counter for demo Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Not with the dragons fury he aint Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: the delay on the airblast is really fuckin annoyin Crocop has found: The Southern Hospitality Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Also about the 'you have to work for it' comment you added on to what i said Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Ive been trying my goddamn hardest *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: dont cap Crocop: just getting hp Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Youre beggining to become somewhat of an asshole being perfectly honest Crocop: <3 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: also you are a douche for doing a heart Crocop: im sorry you're so upset Crocop: cry some moar Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No im just speakin my mind im really chill right now its just a bit annoying to think youre playing with another player which Crocop: bro Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: is becomin an asshole Crocop: its just a game Crocop: let's all relax. Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I am aware Crocop: sometimes i gotta remind u Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: We dont know eachother and that is the first time you said its just a game .-. Crocop: it seems you're getting a little bit too flustered for a video game Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: now thats not salt thats just the truth Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: im not lyin thats actually the first time ye said that Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Also you better be glad im not a child that plays fortnite because the fortnite community are obnoxious and annoying kids mostl Crocop: yes you're a smart little boy Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Rapey vibes noted Crocop: your teacher gives u all the smelly stickers Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: My teachers give me no sticker *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: stickers* Crocop: <3 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: seriously can i just get one free kill to stop playing pyro im gettin bored as hell Crocop: this is how my grand papy Crocop: taught me how to play tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: what the fuck does that mean Crocop: do you want me to switch class Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Seriously though what do you mean by thats how my grand papy taught me to play tf2 because that had no context Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Yes Crocop: you're speaking gibberish my friend Crocop: it was a very concise statement Crocop: my grandpappy taught me how to play tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No it really wasnt Crocop: maybe you should grow that lil brain Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: you said that with no context with what i was saying Crocop: so you can comprehend text without context Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: it was insanely random Crocop: not really Crocop: i mean we're playing tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: You didnt tell me how he taught you you just said thats how he taught you Crocop: aah Crocop: well i 1v1ed with him Crocop: until i got gud Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Well at least someone taught you i had to learn myself Crocop: step 1 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: and i had to get use to shit tons of lag Crocop: have a comfortable desk and mouse and keyboard Crocop: 2. enjoy Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: That literally explains nothing with how i learned Crocop: well theres no real learning to it Crocop: you're just good at it or not Crocop: it all comes down to reflexes and timing Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Thats.... Really really fuckin dumb Crocop: yeah. im sorry that you'll have to be that way Crocop: forever Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Not forever you were just taught to think in that way Crocop: this wasn't taught Crocop: this is a decade long observation Crocop: my smol friend Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: its impossible to stay the same exact skill level forver Crocop: sure there's small variation Crocop: with time played Crocop: but the tf2 pros have natural reflexes Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Youre a person that i would hate to be around in real life Crocop: when did i say i cared Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: When did i say i thought you cared Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Hm? Crocop: so then you're speaking into the wind Crocop: who cares buddeh Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Nobody really cares in life Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Being honest its all lies Cp_The_Sewer_Toad left the game (Disconnect by user.)

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ambitionsource · 5 years

Text

S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.05]

better late than never, i say!

favourite scene: i think it might be the fight scene— or really, ANY scene revolving around lucas and isadora’s friendship— i love the terrible chaos of the fight scene and the way it shows both the absolute extremes lucas will go to for the people he cares about (especially isa), and the way he goes way too far way too easily in regards to his aggression. it also gave us softer moments of farkle and maya— both trying to stop the gossip in their own ways, and dylan and asher rushing in to help lucas at all costs, not thinking about the BLOODBATH they’re entering. it’s a very human scene for all of our characters and they respond in basic, instinctive ways that are very telling to how they deal with conflict— whether it’s impersonal or very personal. also, reading about wyatt getting the shit beat out of him is really satisfying, especially knowing things about him now from later in the season.

favourite performance: not to have my inner charlie stan jump out like it always does anytime he gets a second of screen time but like, dirty little secret, obviously. OBVIOUSLY, we’ve met me, people, you get it. aside from my love for pop punk left over from all the way back in seventh grade, this is really charlie’s struggle and storyline wrapped up into a classic all american rejects song and we all know charlie and his storyline are maybe (read: definitely) my favourite part of this show. charlie’s trying to grasp onto his secret, but at the same time, he’s pushing it SO far away. he knows what it is, but at the same time he doesn’t, not really. he refuses to comprehend it and DEFINITELY refuses to project it in any way at all. he’s a closeted kid so terrified of opening the doors and stepping out, that he’s not even sure if he’s in a closet at all, or if he just got lost in another room. at least, that’s what he’s trying to convince himself. ALSO may i say i imagine this number to have a sort of quick slow-mo shot of zay, discreet but non discreet, and then charlie forcibly spinning around to look ANYWHERE else— maybe at riley, albeit unenthusiastically. he dances with a number of girls, but pulls away relatively soon with each— nothing feels right.

favourite character this ep: isadora, probably, or charlie (wbk). we watch isadora struggle to deal with the fallout of her biggest secret being exposed, and we see a lot more of her character and elaborated on and revealed this episode. it’s good to actually dive into her autism in a respectful and real way, and it’s really good to see her still stand defiant at the end of the episode, with the “fuck off” to aaa confessions and really, the school. isa consistently and inevitably rises above the drama in a way that not a lot of other aaa students do, and it’s always refreshing to watch her be a POWERFUL ICON.

favourite line: “unclench, yogles, and scram.” thank you maya, that was beautiful.

an underrated moment: maya trying to calm isa down and take care of her is just. WONDERFUL. we’ve seen a bit of softness and kindness from maya thus far, but basically only to her own mother, probably because maya knows aaa is a bloodthirsty shark tank and she needs to always be baring her teeth in order to be able to claw her way to the top. but isa needs help, and maya provides it the best she can, letting her guard down and being gentle, genuinely caring for isa. it’s a nice character moment for maya that provides a but more insight— she’s not just a mean diva, she knows perfectly well how to be kind and soft to those she can be vulnerable around, and to those who need her.

something i missed the first time around: dave implying that aaa confessions’ posts suggest “an opposing narrative”, aka that aaa confessions’ posts imply that charlie is not straight. i knew that the post about him and zay being close from 1.03 freaked him out, but i never really realized they were actually IMPLYING he wasn’t straight— you know, the thing he’s most afraid of people finding out about it? and to me it makes what he does in this series to avoid zay and u know what to aaa confessions make even more sense. like i already knew why he did it but now i understand his desperation.

first impression vs your reread impression: i just realized how short this episode is.... or at least seems.... and as always, was able to enjoy it even more, knowing where these plot threads pick up and lead to.. (valerie and isa’s building mother daughter relationship, zc, lucas’s anger at the end of the season) and the drama turns up to an eleven, really raising the emotional bar from where it was before. we’re getting into it, and it is INTENSE. too late to back out now. enjoyed it tons as always!

lena i LOVE reading your rewatch thoughts. truly!!!!!! the way you talk about charlie.... no i’m not crying............ i swear im not i swear im fine,,,,,, and you always highlight some great moments that im glad are being appreciated. i ADORE your thoughts on dirty little secret and the way you visualize it, like yes yes yes -- builds well on what i threw out there as what i would’ve added to the description of it -- and just.... your appreciation for him shines, which makes ME emotional bc he deserves it. and the way you described everyone’s reactions during the fight scene as instinctive and human... ugh i love that. and completely 100% agree. could go dissertation on this.... might have to... mayhaps... but ugh love love love

yeah, it is one of the shortest eps in the season (which is weird, as i dissected in my rewatch), but i guess we should enjoy it bc by the time we get into the second half they just keep growing longer and longer fDJSKGLSG. i really cannot emphasize enough how much i love you participating and what it means to the team :’) <3 thank you!!!

#charlie: h #me: the power that has the intelligence that has the clearance that has the access that has the influence that has the profile that has....#the international implications that has #submission #i concur ma'am #S1 reread #S2 countdown #1x05

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themian · 3 years

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What are the top reasons why men pull away?

Well as you commented, there are many broad reasons why a man will pull away. There is no doubt that it can be a very unsettling experience. Think about it, one minute he seems really into you, he may even have told you he loved you. Then literally overnight, he has pretty much disappeared, he has become distant all of a sudden.

Before I get into what I believe the top reasons why men pull away are, I will say this…

Some men are simply just jerks, some will run a mile when it comes time to settle down, and in some situations there is absolutely nothing you can do to get him back again. As hard as that is to deal with, just realize in the long run, you are better of without him!

However …. the good news is, that despite what media and Hollywood may tell you, most men aren’t jerks, and really do want to settle down with someone they can form a truly strong connection with.

To answer your question, in my opinion there are 3 broad reasons why a man will pull away all of a sudden. The good news is, that you can often change your behavior to help resolve the situation.

Being Too Emotional:

If it’s relatively early days in your relationship, then there is a risk that you can be too emotional too quickly with a man.

If you wore your emotions on your sleeve, or you became to needy or clingy with him, then you have very likely scared him off.

The good news is, if you back off a little, and don’t put too much pressure on him, he will most likely come closer again. Be cool for a while, and he will wonder whats going on, and come back.

2. Lacking A Connection:

Contrary to popular belief, men do actually want to meet someone, just like a women does. They like the idea of settling down with someone they can connect with (when they have matured a bit)

Men are actually looking for someone to have a strong emotional connection with. When they are young, they tend to go looking for it by looking for sex. But this matures over time, and they grow up. All they want is someone they can connect with on a strong emotional level. For a women who he feels like, will support him through thick and thin.

Just like you, most men have dreams, and they want to know they have the support at home, to have the guts to go out and chase those dreams.

3. Putting Too Much Pressure On Him:

This is common in couples who have been dating or in a relationship for a while. When you start putting pressure on a man to move the relationship to a new level, he will often pull away.

This may be a commitment for moving in together. Or to get married, or have children. Anything really. But if he feels like he is being pressured into something, he will pull away and become distant.

You need to make him feel like he is making a mutual decision with you, not feel like he is having an ultimatum put on him.

These are the 3 main reasons why a man will pull away. His specific behavior will be as a result of of one of these things. (Unless he is truly a jerk). The good news is this is completely fixable. For more information, on how to turn this situation around, check out our website Why Men Pull Away In Relationships

Men are strange creatures. With a few words or a simple sentence, you could have him pulling away for reasons you just cannot comprehend. If you have been in a relationship for a while and find that your man is pulling away from your fear not, it may be something you are completely unaware of. Here are three reasons that he may pull away from you.

Moving too quickly

This is a common reason he may get distant. If he has been single for most of his life except for the occasional relationship, then he is most likely a slow mover. If you have been dating for a short amount of time and by men's definition short equals in a year, then talking marriage and kids just might scare him off. If you are trying to move him along too quickly, he may pull away from you to protect himself. Ease up on the marriage and kids' questions so he can come back to you.

Past hurts

If your man comes from a home where divorce happened early on and happened messily, then he may suffer from those past hurts. Unbeknownst to many, we carry the hurts from childhood into our adult lives. Those hurts may manifest in funny ways. If he grew up in a home where the marriage ended badly, he just may be carrying those hurts with him and is afraid that getting married may bring back those hurts. Handle this with care as he may not be ready to deal with these kinds of issues just yet.

Insecurity

All men feel like they are built for something bigger and better. They feel like they have a big goal to accomplish ahead of them and until they get there, then they will be on that journey. If he has yet to achieve his life's dreams he may be feeling inadequate and just not good enough for you. If you make more money than him, have a better job, and drive a better car, it just may be his own insecurities that is causing him to pull away from you any time you mention marriage or anything long term. Starting an open conversation about his feelings is a start, but he may not be ready to open up fully just yet.

There are many other reasons why he may be pulling away from you, but from past experiences and talking to many male friends, these three are at the top of the list. If you have been moving too quickly for his taste then slow things down. If you know that he comes from a broken past, then you may need to ease up and move at his pace and be as encouraging as possible. If he is suffering from feeling insecure then you need to start showing him that you love him for him and not what he has. You can get him to be the man you know he can be and make a commitment.

If you are looking for ways to get him to stop pulling away or to get him to say "I Do" as quickly as womanly possible go to my profile.

Being clingy, crying a lot and giving yourself away too much, trying to change them, to name a few.

When girls start calling every hour, and the ratio exchange of messages between man vs women is “1:10”, you keep asking them where they are and why haven’t they called you back, what happened in their day, why aren’t they giving you importance, etc. it pushes a man away. Also, threatening to do something if they don’t do what you want them to do (like - if you don’t meet me, I will do ____) It could be anything - self-harm, blackmail, reveal info to friends, call up parents and tell them about the relationship, etc.

Also, wanting to change the man - you may think they are damaged and bad boys and that they need to change - however they won’t unless they want to. If they smoke, they will not stop if you keep nagging at them. You either accept it or stop nagging - they will stop talking to you but continue to smoke if it gets too much.

If you don’t like his friends, don’t tell him that. Don’t stop him from hanging out with his friends - give him the space to enjoy his guy time. Don’t isolate them from their friends thinking they should only hold you important and no one else.

Also, doubting them pushes them away - “who are you with, but you said this, are you cheating on me? Are you with a girl? If no, let me check your phone and prove your innocence” kind of shit

Let a man feel like a man and don’t do any of the things that are mentioned above. If he wants to be with you or meet you, he will. If he isn’t showing the same interest as you, calling him again and again, crying, threatening, blackmailing, won’t help in any way and it’ll only push them away further.

Remember, you don’t have to force someone to do anything. Let them be the way they are. If they show love and interest, they will be there for you. If you see they are distancing themselves from you, have a conversation of what’s happening and please let go if it isn’t working out.

Nagging, controlling, attempts to change the guy.

“I love you just the way to you are, now change”

Examples:

When we were dating, we always listened to the rock station while driving. Now we have a fight if I don't turn on NPR.

“You're strong enough, you don't need to go to the gym anymore”

You want me to get dressed like it's a “date” just to go to target with You?

I recall one relationship. I like to go to the show. I go to very specific types of movies. Ibwant my popcorn and cherry coke. I kike to sit dead center and at a distance wear the screen exactly fills ny field of vision. I like to show up early enough where I get the good seat and have time to get popcorn and use the toilet and not have to rush. But somebody wanted me to skip the popcorn and soda and show up late, get crappy aisle seats and miss the previews. So after the ditching the “hey, wanna go to the show?” routine, it became “hey, I'm going to the show and I'm leaving at 5:00 pm. If ya wanna go with, be in the car at 5:00 pm”. Caused a fight. So I switched gears again, lying about the start time, so we'd get there on time. Caused a fight. Then it just became a quick text that “I'm going to the show.”, which caused 40 texts during the show. Then it was “im gping to the show, gotta turn off my phone”, which caused a fight. Then I tried the “im seeing scavengers at 7:00 pm. Hope you meet me there.”. Eventually I just stopped saying anything but “I got stuff to do, call ya later.”

That's how it happens.

The premise, I presumed, was that if I really loved her, the time together would be more important than what I wanted.

And so forth.

Don't be that girl/woman.

I cannot answer for all guys, but the only times I have ever pulled away is when I have witnessed severely emotionally unstable behavior. Witnessing a woman start arguememts for no other reason than the fact that she created an issue that didn't exist, ran it all the way to a conclusion, and brought it into the real world to in turn, try to make it a real problem - is very troublesome… especially when emotion clouds their ability to see it.

In any case I have witnessed this behavior, I have left. Just to see more instability surface, which of course, proves my entire point to begin with. And, in these cases where more eradic behavior surfaces, (calling, emailing, stalking, texting, etc.) their emotions cloud their judgement so much, that they actually feel justified in what they are doing. Regardless of how crazy it really is.

It really is amazing how someone will be your best friend, support system, and lover, until they start shit that you call them out on. Then, they go on a slew of downright scary and sometimes illegal behaviors, thinking they have the right to do so.

Hell hath no fury like a person completely out of touch with reality and their own power to destroy themselves and others.

The sad part is, no lesson is ever learned. And they will soon move onto their next victim.

There is many reasons.

Things are moving to fast and he needs a breather from the intensity of his emotions. Common one for guys, women actually have better emotional comping ability then men. This is because women have a larger Deep Limbic System which is a part of the brain that’s responsible for emotional coping.

You are pressuring him by asking question about his feelings If he is experiencing an internal conflict, it can be good to not pressure him, this can make things worse

He’s falling out of love There is many reasons for this, what you can do about it to make sure you’re being the best person you can be. Make sure you give him time to get back in touch with his feelings for you before you start to question him on them. Here is a youtube video I made that may give you some more info:

Men pull way when the woman is way too draining and being with her is far worse than being alone, when she is never satiafied, annoying, drains his energy and acts as if he has no business in her life despite them both agreeing to be together then its time to go, and most men do just that .

If i have to chase a woman, to constantly prove my love or commitment then its time to dump her and i have done it in the past .

Women think men pull away because they are afraid of marriage, tell that to all those attractive, classy, nice and good women who have a man by their side, iam sure they would be more than willing to disagree with you .

You flake

Don't make plans and cancel or show up late. This is the fastest track to a guy losing interest.

Talk shit about your friends and other people.

It's okay to vent, but if it's constant, you look toxic and he'll wonder what you're saying about him behind his back.

Send mixed signals

If he's second guessing you all the time, you two are done. Every guy is afraid of being seen as a creep, desperate, or a possibile “R” word. Seriously, sit on the couch with him if you like him. It's a simple signal you're interested.

This is early day stuff, but it's usually when guys will cry uncle and decide you aren't worth his time.

Wow, in my opinion, there can be MANY things that push a man away. Men can be hard to understand and decipher for women, but mostly because women often do not pay attention to what a man says. Instead of hearing what the guy said, we tend to obsess later with our friends (“…What do you think he really meant by that?”)

So, here is a brief list of what I think pushes a man away. I’m not trying to be unfeeling or insensitive, believe me, I’ve experienced my share of heartache with men and relationships.

You have nothing going on in your life - but him. This is way too much pressure to put on anyone.

You are nagging and constantly “making him wrong”. No one wants to hang around for this type of treatment.

You have too much drama in your life. (Family drama, work/school drama, friend drama, Facebook drama…you get the picture…(At some point, it’s just not a coincidence anymore and you have to gain some control over your situation and actions).

You try to keep him away from seeing his friends, or doing what he wants to do when you aren’t together. (He is his own person, you don’t own him. Think about if the shoe was on the other foot!)

You are constantly texting him and checking up on him.

You act insecure and you don’t trust him. (If you truly have reasons to not trust him, then find someone you CAN trust!)

You are available every minute of the day and night. He never has a chance to “miss you”. This one relates back to #1. I’m sure there are more, but hope this list helps. Remember, if you are having trouble with keeping a man’s attention - he might not be the right man. There are tons of great guys out there. Don’t settle for someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated.

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groundramon · 7 years

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★ ★ ★ ★ ★

:O!!!

I’ll take this as asking for five facts about five characters bc im currently waiting for all/most of the items to unlock on my current zoo tycoon game and idk what to do to kill the time besides this sO:

Character 1: Skift (bc I dont talk about him enough)

1. Skift is a very ambitious person. One of the main reasons he enlists in the army in Majjikku is in hopes of some day becoming a war hero. He’s also easily influenced by other peoples’ approval or disapproval, despite how adamantly he would insist otherwise if you ask him. Hence why he wants the validation of being a household name and a hero in the history books.

2. The other main reason he enlisted in the army is because he absolutely despises his family. I’m still working on the kinks of his backstory but the jist of it is that he comes from an extremely large family with a neglectful mother and an absent father. He and his other siblings around his age were raised by their elder siblings, but Skift had the misfortune of having a personality that completely clashed with theirs and often got in fights with them, that sometimes even turned physical. As soon as he was old enough to enlist in the army, he left home and headed to the nearest enlisting center (which unfortunately was several days away since they lived in the middle of goddamn nowhere, but he makes at least)

3. Skift has no real education, living in the middle of nowhere and not having anyone to teach him skills. When he was younger he got along with his siblings better and was able to learn basic math, and of course he can speak fine, but he probably can’t read very well and anything besides basic addition and subtraction is a mystery to him. Having said that, illiteracy and a general lack of scholarly knowledge, isn’t uncommon on the Parity side, as they have the very minimal requirement of laws and government required to run a government. (Literally you can kidnap someone and as long as you give them adequate shelter, food, and water, and you dont abuse them or anything, the “police” wont do anything about it)

4. Skift gets a strong rush while in the middle of combat. Adrenaline does good things to his psyche and as long as he doesn’t suddenly realize that those were real people dying on the battlefield, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day after a Parity victory. He’s not bloodthirsty, but he does get uncomfortably into it when in the heat of battle, even if he has to watch the person he’s killing die in front of him.

5. Skift in a way is supposed to be a sort of clueless libertarian/anti-ally who isnt a bigot. Like, think a white person who doesnt believe in systemic racism but wouldn’t discriminate against a person of color because the whole reason they dont believe in systemic racism is because its bad for the economy. (Which, it is, they’re right about that lmao). I dont know entirely what I’m planning to do with that concept because I dont know if I, as a very dumb white person, have the ability to play with racism/the concept of colorblindness like that, but I hope I can do SOMETHING with them. Either I’ll need to educate myself or I’ll just change that trait to being dumb about politics in general, I dunno. (Because he doesnt really care about the politics of Parity vs Halcyon, he just agrees with the Parity because thats all hes ever known.)

Bonus fact bc I had too many: Skift is pretty heavily inspired by the design of an old warrior cats OC I had named Falconstar/Falcon. He’s not exactly a dead character (I dont do anything with Warrior Cats anymore but if I did, he’d be on my list of potential characters to reboot, altho i dont know if id have the heart to take him out of the universe/AU he’s from…) but I feel like their personalities are different enough that they wont be mistaken for one another. Also Skift has a stupid scarf.

Character 2: Phillip (or is it Lenny? Idk I think I changed it to Phillip)

1. Phillip is also from Majjikku, I should mention, but he’s a part of the Halcyon side. The first thing I should mention is that he’s a prince, and 3rd in line to the Crayking throne - he has an elder brother who joins the army with him, and an elder sister who stays behind to keep the kingdom safe with their aging parents. I believe they also have a younger sibling or two, but they’re too young to be politically important. Anyways, its worth mentioning that the only reason Phillip was sent over her sister is because he’s an inadept spoiled brat, and the Halcyon side was asking for at least two members of royalty to join their ranks to form an alliance, so Phillip was sent alongside their actually combatually adept elder son. The Halcyon sent Phillip to the “less useful” soldier training camps, while his brother was able to ascend straight up in the ranks of the army. Since arriving in Halcyon territory, Phillip hasn’t seen his brother once. (It’s worth mentioning as a side note, the Craykings only allied themselves with the Halcyon side to protect their own necks. They believe the Halcyons have the upper hand in the war, and want to be on the right side of history when the war concludes. And they dont have the strength to stand up to both sides; the Halcyons have promised to protect their underwater empire from the Parities due to their allyship.

2. As I mentioned, Phillip is an inadept spoiled brat. Years of coddling in his palace have turned him into a demanding asshole who makes jokes at the expense of others and has overly high expectations from others, despite thinking he himself deserves to sit on his ass all day. There’s a deep reason for it, as there is for all my characters, but there are so many layers that caused him to act like this that at this point it’s just become his personality.

3. Having said that, Phillip grew up in an environment where acting nice was more important than being nice. Who cared what you did behind closed doors, so long as you put on a presentable front? He’s extremely charming and sociable in big social events, often making on-point jokes and contributing in a seemingly meaningful way. In fact, he’s arguably even better at it than his two older siblings, since they have opinions of their own and aren’t just a mindless robot for their parents to interject their thoughts and opinions to. Phillip is very good at regurgitating what he’s been told, and has a very flawed and honestly nonexistent sense of self because he has never had the freedom to make his own opinions. Or rather, he was told how to act and feel, and he never had the strength that his siblings had to make his own opinions on what was being taught to him.

4. Phillip wears a fancy bowtie and he refuses to take it off for unexplained reasons. There’s no deep reason to it, I just like bowties.

5. Phillip believes that both of his elder siblings are more adept and intelligent in every aspect. He respects his parents authority over the kingdom and part of why he acts like a jerk is because he legitimately has no idea what he’s doing and would rather die than inherit the throne. He knows nothing about politics, despite his entire life being politics (in more ways than one). The good news is that it seems like if something happened to both his elder siblings and his parents, it would probably go to the next sibling below him, even if they were still under 10 at the time.

Character 3: Glitch

1. Glitch REALLY needs a new name but I’m currently trying to come up with an idea of how Glitch could mean something different in their world (Majjikku, I should clarify), but right now im empty-handed and please help me.

2. Glitch is blind, or at least has significant sight problems. I think. I dont know, I really need to develop Glitch more. Maybe he just needs glasses like I do and without them everything is hella blurry but at least he can get around.

3. Glitch’s species is often used as horses in the Halcyon army due to their obedient nature and high intelligence for a species that generally isnt considered “sentient”/having human intelligence (I know sentient isnt the right word, hence why I clarified). Glitch’s species does have human-like intelligence and capabilities, having the capability for empathy and compassion and self-realization just as much if not more as other Majjikku species, but they generally lack in vocal and academic intelligence. Glitch is unusually vocal for his species, a mutation that comes up in packs of the sauropod-like species every now and then. Because of this and his sight problems, he was put in the same “lesser” squadron as Phillip, instead of the same training the other young from his herd were given.

4. Having said that, “unusually vocal” for his species is still very quiet most of the time. He has a strong understanding of the words of those around him, stronger than most of the rest of his species (although they can comprehend language, just not as quickly) and can articulate full sentences in a reasonable amount of time, he just prefers not to. He also can’t go on half-an-hour-long rants about things because he would run out of words and brainpower very quickly, which god I wish that were me because I will talk until my mouth falls off and its 3 am i s2g im not even exaggerating.

5. Glitch has no understanding of the war but as his herd is encouraged to help the war effort, as opposed to being forcibly taken (which was outlawed and deemed unethical when more and more offspring like Glitch started popping up), he supports his side and would gladly die for it. Also he loves his friends, even Phillip.

Character 4: Aquarius

1. I love Aquarius!!! Somehow she became my favorite Majjikku character and idk why. She’s got cool pants, thats probably part of the reason. Anyways Aquarius is Marble’s best friend in the series; they become fast friends on the train to their squadron when they begin talking about their similar experiences in being dragged away from their families and forcibly enlisted in the army. (Is it horrible to enlist 13 and 14 year old kids in the army by force? It absolutely is, that’s the point; I dont take my characters being young teens like most stories abt young teens do, I’m well aware they’re going to be fucked up as fuck and I’m exploiting that for all its worth.) Aquarius came from a big family of 5 with an absent mother and a nonexistent father, where her elder sister raised herself and then raised her. Unlike Skift, Aquarius became very close with her eldest sister, although they both share a resentment for their parents because of their shit awful parenting. Aquarius was forced to join the army because her three younger siblings were too young for the army, and her eldest sister had to stay behind and work a job and care for the younger kids, something Aquarius knew she wouldn’t be able to do.

2. Unlike all the other characters I’ve mentioned so far, and hell probably all the characters in Majjikku in general lol, Aquarius actually supports the Halcyon for what they stand for. Obviously with her absent mother and father, Aquarius and her siblings needed a lot of financial help. Thankfully that’s what the Halcyon system was built around, and the government was able to get Aquarius’s eldest sister a stable well-paying job and the entire family enough money to get a decent place and pay for food for a while. The government still monitors their family regularly to make sure they arent squandering the money and that everything is going okay, but they did far, far more good than harm. Aquarius believes that this is the best form of government; a form of government that on a very personal level cares for its members and helps them through hardships, and forces them on the right path. In our world, she’d be a socialist through and through, if not a straight-up communist. (Having said that, I do believe Aquarius would have different political opinions if she grew up in our world. The difference between our world governments and the Halcyon government is that the Halcyon government…actually gives a shit about people. Most of the people who work for the government are volunteers, who at best get a small place to stay and some food. Like, the Halcyon actually help 99% of the poor population in the Halcyon city. The amount of financial aid given outside of the city significantly drops, but in their city, being homeless and poor is illegal but instead of throwing you in jail for it they’ll help you get out of it. If you squander it then you’ll end up in jail, but still. Idk what Aquarius would believe in differently if she grew up here, but I dont think she’d be a straight-up communist because we have too many failed communist governments in our history.)

3. Aquarius and her family’s coloring is very odd for her species. The bear-like species that her family is made up of is generally brown, red, yellow, orange, tan, white, gray, black, ect - normal-ish fur colors. Blue, at least to the extent that Aquarius and her family have is nonexistent. It is likely that she and her family have a small percentage of an aquatic species’ DNA, such as a crayking, in them.

4. Aquarius loves being supportive of other people and listening to and relating to their struggles. She’s actually a pretty good motivational speaker and is a pretty great friend. She’s great and I love her. Also the pants.

5. Aquarius clashes a lot with Shade, another character in her squadron. I’m not giving Shade his own section but the reason is that he’s an overly negative character, constantly throwing shade at the Halcyon side and complaining about training. However, once she realizes the reasons for his dissatisfaction with his current situation, she stops calling him out when he says stuff against the Halcyon side. She does start to debate her own opinions a bit after that, and has a lot of long conversations with Marble about it in their shared bedroom. (If anyone’s interested in Shade feel free to send me another star asking about him, or reply to this post or w/e! otherwise ill just keep it a secret lol)

Character 5: Grace

1. Thank god, a character that isn’t Majjikku-related lol. Anyways Grace is the embodiment of a rebellious teenager. She doesn’t listen to any authority, goes out of her way to do bad things, and will purposely disobey what you say even if she doesnt want to do the thing she’d have to do by disobeying you. The whole reason she gets involved in Spirits’ plot is because she knows taking money from a stranger to play with the laws of science and reality would be firmly in her dad’s list of things she can’t do.

2. Speaking of her dad, he’s a little bit of a dick. He’s the reason she’s so disrespectful towards authority. He’s basically just a stereotypical religious nut; anti-gay, anti-transgender, anti-atheist, anti-anyone who isnt christian, anti-drugs, and he even enforces some form of gender roles. And he’s very vocal about these things. He tries to be a huge helicopter parent, but Grace can and will avoid him, ignore his punishments, and stay out so late that her parents cant yell at her for disobeying them. Her father is very vocal about his displeasure and downright hatred of Grace sometimes, and ever since she started questioning his words when she was a young girl, he’d yell at her for it. Her older brother isn’t too great either, but he’s more of an annoying slouch who plays video games all day instead of working than a legitimately bad guy.

3. Grace believes she’s straight because she has no interest in being sexual with a woman, but she’d be totally down with kissing and cuddling and being romantic with a woman, hence why I identify her as a biromantic heterosexual. She’s also the most sexually active of all my characters, which no I will not elaborate on that, not because I dont feel comfortable with it but because I dont know how the fuck that works. (Also side note, I headcanon things in my own stories so I like to headcanon that at some point Grace and Shawn get together and they can be all romantic and mushy n stuff together but Shawn’s totally okay with Grace going out for one night stands with guys so long as she stays safe. Obviously they talk everything out to make sure everyone is safe and okay with the relationship, but Shawn’s pretty okay with it; she’s pretty used to Grace having sex with no romantic attraction involved, and ofc Shawn isn’t into sex so she doesn’t feel like it’s a problem.)

4. Grace is closer with her mother than her father, but although her mother is very much a mediator and acts very kind and forgiving to Grace, Grace still kind of despises her. Just because Grace’s dad is a dick doesn’t mean she isn’t too.

5. Grace’s spirit form is a bloodthirsty wyvern with major anger problems. Each of the kids’ spirit forms have a slight personality outside of the kids themselves, and Grace’s is bloodthirsty and destructive - not intelligently so, but still. Most fo the kids’ spirit forms are pretty mindless and just mindlessly destructive, except two.

#thank you for the ask!! : D #stormy answers #majjikku #skift #prince phillip #aquarius #glitch #grace

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durm-ff · 7 years

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Blue vs. Yellow

Yeheeees, I finally got to finish this one shot from august smh. i first thought hm can i actually write this but then it turned out to be fun! i hope anon likes/still remembers it :). i might write something this weekend again, but turns out i need to be on a2 italian in two weeks when right now i know two phrases. great. so for everyone who is waiting, just bear with me, im so sorry.

Ah, derbies. The most passive savage/active savage every player gets on the field. The sweet smell of revenge/victory/fight/blood. That look you give your opponents when you’re standing in line for walking onto the pitch. Or that slightly more agressive look you give them when the referee does something that didn’t live up to your expectations.

There was a stronger sense of belonging every time I had to face the women’s team of Borussia Dortmund. The ugly black and yellow kits versus our sophisticated royal blue and white outfits. Our history of loyalty versus the accepted reputation of traitors in their club. Alright, I know that was petty, but come on. It was an obvious feature.

Technically, there was not more at stake at a derby game. The winner still got three points, the loser zero, and a tie meant 1 point. But looking past that, it was about your reputation. Your relationship to your fans, to your town. Born and raised in Gelsenkirchen, I felt like it was my duty and also kind of destiny to protect our reputation and show my loyalty to the club and the fans. It sounds almost patriotic, but really, that was what a derby was all about. Showing off.

The annoying thing is that when you love someone, you set all this aside and try to focus on their happiness. Such a mood killer, this love thing. But leaving my comptetitiveness behind, my only weak spot beside Apfelmus was Marco. I don’t know how I managed to look past the fact that 99% of the time he wore clothes that made him look like a bumblebee (and I hate to admit that he was the only person that for my taste even looked good in it), and had a mascot that was a freaking bumblebee how adorable, I did look past that, and now sat in one of the booths in the Signal Iduna Stadion, wearing a yellow jersey.

I was in the mood of throwing up.

But I was brave, and I didn’t. I even cheered for them and, even though I was heartbroken when Schalke conceded a goal, and had to see poor Benni scream into the void, I was happy that Marco assisted. I knew how much it meant for him. Being in and out of injuries, this game meant so much more to him, anyway. So I swallowed my pride (which was so not easy by the way), and accepted the fact, that if, in the end Dortmund does manage to win, with players like Götze, the comeback kid, and Bartra the definition of a fuckboy, whatever, I could still defend last years derby winner title with my own team.

‘Great day, wasn’t it, babe?’– I gave a quick kiss to Marco as he was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror. ‘Ah-uh-hm-huh’ – he said with a smug look, which roughly meant ‘Thank you, darling’ which, in turn meant, ‘We beat yo ass’. I rolled my eyes but then ignored it and got ready for bed myself.

There was something, though, that kept ringing in my ear. I knew it was stupid and probably nothing, but I couldn’t help but feel bothered by it. The women’s derby was exactly a week away and the guys couldn’t help themselves but make comments about it after their game. ‘By the way, what did Marcel meant by “keep on the right jersey” in the locker rooms?’ – I mean, I kinda knew it myself, but I didn’t feel like it should have been said when I was there, Marcel knowing me, and saying this after the derby.

Marco spit out the toothpaste and said ‘Nothing’. After drying his face, he continued – ‘we were just messing around, and I told them I think I’ll support Dortmund this time during the women’s derby.’ And just like that, he walked out of the room.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ – I followed him into the bedroom, where he was already getting comfortable. ‘Yeah, it’s not a big deal’ – he shrugged. I climbed into bed as well and turned my furious face towards him. ‘What do you mean it’s not a big deal?’ ‘I mean, what’s the fuss about?’

‘Excuse me?’ – I could still not comprehend what I was hearing. ‘So it didn’t matter that I basically gave up my dignity today to support you, but it’s okay to neglect that when I’m playing?’ – I crossed my arms on my chest and impatianetly waited for his answer. He finally looked at me and said ‘No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just’ – he tried to explain it to me, but it didn’t really make sense, honestly. With crossed arms still, I urged him to go on. ‘It’s not always necessary to go full out, is it?’

‘What?! Honestly, to me it sounds like you don’t care about women’s football at all. Why support your girlfriend at the most important derby, when it’s just women’s football?’

‘No, it’s-‘ ‘Yes, that’s it.’ – with that, I turned the lights off and turned to my side. Even though both of us knew that neither of us could sleep at the moment, I just couldn’t bear one more second of this conversation, so I did the only thing that could end it. The light.

Derbies were always fun, aggressive, honourable. Standing on the pitch in a blue jersey, waiting for the referee to finally blow her wistle and see the ball kicked made my blood pump faster. But that wasn’t the only thing working me up on the inside. Since that ‘conversation’ last weekend, my disgust towards yellow jerseys grew and that made my blood boil even harder. A good motivator for the derby, I guess.

Perfect timing. The rage should have motivated me by making me also kind of numb and help me not to look to the side and see that one head with perfectly gelled hair.

I heard the whistle blow and then everything stopped existing outside the pitch. My focus was on the ball and on my teammates’ position. Nothing could distract me.

A second later, the focus of only on my own familiar environment turned its back on me as I felt a kick in my back and my face hit the ground. Before the pain could kick in and before I could realize the blow of the whistle was not only the start of the game but also the end of it for me, I blacked out.

‘She’s waking up.’ – I faintly heard someone next to me as I moved my eyelids. I tried to feel my hands and move my toes but I couldn’t feel anything and it scared me. I began breathing heavily and opened my eyes.

Suddenly I was blinded by light and I needed a few seconds to adjust to it, and when my eyes finally did what I wanted them to do, I saw Marco. I looked down and he was holding my hand, but I couldn’t feel his fingers on mine. I panicked again.

‘Calm down. Shh. No movement.’ – he stroked my cheek.

‘Why can’t I feel anything?’ – I whispered. ‘You’re on painkillers. They disable you from feeling your limbs, so that you also don’t try to move them.’ ‘Why, what happened?’ – I asked him and it was only when he looked over the bed that I saw the doctor. ‘Your spine got kicked. The ball was landing behind you and unfortunately the opponent miscalculated her kick and kicked your spine. You were not paralyzed by it, but you are now by medication so that your spine rests and your limbs don’t hinder it from recovering.’ – he explained.

I let it sink in and I thought of all the months I’ll have to miss practice, the pitch, training, and I had a lot of questions to ask, but the first thing I wanted an answer to is why Marco was wearing a royal blue jersey.

‘Why are you wearing this hidious thing?’ – I asked with a sore voice and by the way he was smiling, I could tell he gets my sarcasm. ‘I was on my way to the stadium, even though we didn’t talk much last week, but after you left for the match I just realized I didn’t want to miss it.’ – he shrugged.

‘So what about your reputation and the others? And by others I mean Marcel, for example.’ ‘The others don’t matter.’ – he said without hesitation and I knew this was his way of saying sorry. He took a deep breath. ‘I just want you to be okay. And by the way, fuck derbies. Am I right?’ – he exclaimed.

I just smiled because I didn’t know how to answer that, but really all that mattered was that he was there and got over his pride, even though we are two of the most proudest people on earth. With the doctor still by my side I knew I could ask anything anytime, but I needed this moment to be about us, so with my gaze still on Marco and my mind still about the derby, I asked ‘So did we beat your ass?’

The last thing I saw before my sight got blurred again and I heard the words ‘she needs to rest again’, was Marco’s smile and while my career hit its bottom, my life seemed to fall back into place.

#marco reus #marco #reus #bundesliga #borussia dortmund #schalke 04 #derby #footballer imagine #footballer one shot #footballer faniction #marco reus imagine #marco reus one shot #marco reus fanfiction

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redradfem · 5 years

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tw eating disorder, drug mentions, suicide mention

i want to sleep so bad but holy fuck my stomach. feels painfully empty. my face is tingling. my body is completely out of energy. i dont know if i even want to try to crawl upstairs to my bed or if i should just sleep on the couch. i havent felt this shit in a while and the memories just kinda rush in. it already feels familiar. nothin good is lying ahead but knowing that on an intellectual level vs. my brain actually comprehending it and giving me a desire to eat or live are two very different things. im terrified to go to work [unloading trucks] on monday, what if i fuckin pass out? or some heavy boxes fall and i dont respond fast enough? i already got hit in the face on friday lol it was not pleasant. and beyond that, how long can i keep functioning at my job if i barely have the strength to walk around, let alone pick up heavy shit for 3-4hrs? my adhd med (stimulant) and caffeine will only keep me going for so long. i owe my parents $2000 because my dumb ass rear ended someone a while ago. how the fuck will i pay that back if i cant hold my job. how will i explain it to my parents when i just dont have... the fucking energy to work.

im quite literally terrified by food right now. its such a dumb, irrational fear, and again, i know this on an intellectual level but my stupid ass brain is like “nah fam lets ramp up that anxiety and make u feel guilty about eating a slice of toast LOL have fun loser”. where will it end this time? will i relapse on substances too, because when im restricting sometimes theyre the only thing that will keep me functional and feeling sane? am i gonna have to go to fucking rehab again? or will my parents, or psychiatrist, finally fucking notice my disordered behaviors and make me go to ED treatment? the thought is horrifying on multiple levels first off because im an ethical vegan and i dont know of ANY treatment facilities in the USA that provide veg options, because morons think that an eating disordered person being an ethical vegan has anything to do with their disorder (spoiler alert, it doesnt, i was recovering and gaining weight when i first went veg, and i did it for the exploited animals and workers in the animal ag industry), like its some fucking excuse for me to turn down food? and aside from potentially being forced to consume the flesh and secretions of tortured animals, the whole loss of control when in treatment is so fucking scary. i dont know if ill be able to avoid it if i continue like this for any extended periodd of time. im just fuckin rambling but christ im scared. why cant i just have a normal ass brain, is that too much to fucking ask.

this is only the beginning of this relapse and already these old anxieties are occupying every nook and cranny of my mind. i cant focus on shit at all. its so god damn distracting. between the worrying about what im putting in my body and the worrying about people finding out theres just no room for other shit. why cant i be one of those perfectionists that doesnt let shit like this get in the way of working towards my goals. im a lazy piece of shit and i am painfully aware of it yet unmotivated to change because my priorities are SO out of order its insane. all i can think about right now is the scale in the bathroom and what itll say tonight, and tomorrow morning, and the day after.. the measuring tape in the sewing kit in the basement that i know i will be using to obsessively monitor changes in size.. these stupid instruments rule my life now. its awful. i just want to not care. but at the same time, not caring is so scary, because not caring = letting myself go = gaining. fuck.

and yet at the same time im getting this sick pleasure from knowing that im killing myself. im borderline suicidal and honestly dropping dead in the middle of the night sounds fantastic. i feel like im accomplishing something by losing weight, even though thats completely ridiculous. im already fucking underweight. but i just think of how i used to look when i was at my worst and wanting to be there again. i know its hell, but that sweet sweet hunger high makes it feel worth it, sometimes. what the fuck is wrong with me. i thought this shit was over. i thought i was fine.

#delete later #personal

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