#so i should go see a different one!

[seraphim-soulmate]

hoping I pass my blood test tomorrow!!! I'm gonna get a good grade in blood I prommy!!!

#personal #me #blood mention cw #its for cholesterol and im so ugh #everyone i talk to about my dietician goes ''she sounds ... not good'' #so i should go see a different one!

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[lotus-pear]

top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

#day 9547860367 of drawing them in the hopes that the next chapter will be ada reunion. we will see. #ALSO HELP slamming my head into a brick wall i'm gonna get cancelled for glasses erasure one day istg. i'm sorry kuni #watch me once again exaggerate a barely visible height difference in canon bc idgaf dazai should get to be short for once in his life #anyway i hope skk eats shit i want knkdz back i miss them so fucking much #i pray and beg and sob every night kneeling at my bedside for dazai to go home and see his husband and son again #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws #uughhhhh posting at ungodly hours AGAIN this is gonna catch up to me one day istg

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flashback, warm nights.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #Season 1 #wei wuxian #lan wanji #jiang cheng #should I have a teen tag? for all the flashbacks? Maybe I'll add it later #Linking the song for its 80's vibes + flashback melancholy + I think its fun #We have finally arrived at the cloud recess flashback! Dramatic first meetings under the moonlight! A sword fight! acknowledgement of skill #Its like everything you see in a 'No Homo' martial arts story that makes you go 'hold on that's a little...' #except we rejoice; for these bitches do be nurturing plot relevant homoromantic tension #I have to give a shout out to 15 year old wwx for in all honesty he had no way of knowing who he was facing #on day *one* of cultivation Christian summer camp! talk about bad luck #ok some other notes: I wanted to give non mxy!wwx distinct features while still looking somewhat consistant #and i think im happy with it! Softer bangs + mole + different hair tie ain't much but it works for me #they'll soon all be in white with small accents so I gotta do what I can #What im not happy about is my paneling B*/ theres no excuse for why I went back to the bad 3 square format other than I was lazy #Sadly I do these in batches so my bad habits stick around for a little longer

[front-facing-pokemon]

#why yes. the electric form is different. do not notice this #the gen 7 models for SOME REASON just had a completely BLANK model for the electric one #and i don't know WHY but now there's no fucking CUTIEFLY models on there even from scarlet/violet so i'm BASICALLY fucked #do you guys see what i go through for you. every morning now that i can't find reliable models #oricorio #i should really split this one up into four separate posts just to stall and give me extra time to find models because of how hard it is #nowadays but i'm not. just. because?? i dunno

[gasstationpopcorn]

#damon is sitting on one knee........... #these past two days have done so much damage to me #kris with his legs spread. ok. one thing #this is destroying me in a completely different way #i'll see myself out #goodnight #my excuses are i've been alone for a long time and the metaphorical club has long been forgotten #can i speak #should we speak our truths how long must we hide behind the if i speak phrase aren't we tired of silence #much to think about #spiralling #thoughts before bed #this is NOT going in the tag #misc.posts #damon is so precious here i want to hold him gently just the dearest god bless him for all he's done for us honestly

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

#red said #i get that the point is to follow their logic to its logical conclusion like SEE THE EFFECT IS THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR STATED INTENTIONS #but a) the lawmakers already know this tbf #and also b) ultimately you still do end up making a lot of tweets that look very very very like the original scaremongering abt trans ppl #and transphobes and ppl who are unfamiliar with trans stuff alike have repeatedly and consistently demonstrated either an unwillingness #or an inability. to understand the difference btw a trans man and a trans woman. #and meanwhile idk it does feel like most posts like this are tacitly reinforcing the idea that you SHOULD be scared of masc-presenting ppl #it's putting so much emphasis on clockability. and the truth is not everyone using the bathroom does or should have to pass perfectly. #if a trans woman who looks like one of these trans men needs to piss. a woman with stubble and short hair and muscly shoulders. #SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO PISS IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM. even if she doesn't look like a cis woman. #if a trans dude looks like a girl he still doesn't belong in the ladies unless he personally feels the need to go there for his safety #if someone is not actively bothering you harassing you or treating you with aggression it's not really any of your business is it #maybe that's a trans man. maybe that's a trans woman. maybe that's a woman or dyke on T. maybe that's a cis woman who just looks masculine. #who gives a shit? a key factor in ladies bathrooms is that they have fucking cubicles. unless someone is making it your business it's not. #and if they are then the problem isn't that they're the Wrong Sex/Gender it's that they're behaving badly/disrespectfully/threateningly #which is also a problem when cis women do it!!!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

I think another aspect of conservative thought people need to understand is the idea that it's all about dominance.

The reason why sayings like "we don't want to trans your kids, we want trans kids to live" is because, in the conservative mind, you are replacing their dominance with your own. It can never be about what is best for others, it is always about expressing absolute power and control.

Natural selection, at its ideal, will weed out the people who "shouldn't live." If their existence is a threat to the already-established hierarchy, then it's obvious that they shouldn't exist in order to challenge hierarchy.

While this certainly isn't a "conservative-only" mindset, it's a trend I have noticed more in conservative spaces. This is why I don't always think it's helpful to go on about how, "Oh, we don't want to threaten your worldview. We just want people to live 😊". You will fundamentally be threatening their power in their minds. Therefore, nothing you say can truly take away from the anxiety, fear, and anger at losing control that may be instilled.

#politics #transphobia #transphobia tw #used the whole 'we want trans kids to live' because i personally think it's a good example.. #...but isn't the sole example of such... #...take for instance the gay marriage debates from the early 2010s... #...'if we legalize gay marriage it's ONE STEP CLOSER to them taking OVER america and legalizing [horrible thing]!'... #...that is the anxiety of Losing Control and Losing The Divine Hierarchical Power Bestowed To You Personally By Gd Himself... #...i'm not saying all of this to dissuade people from educating people. but i want people to be aware of this dynamic... #...and to decide if they can (or should) personally go up to bat for others to educate people... #...i don't think you will go very far if you try to educate people without understanding on SOME level how their thought process will be... #...because it is likely that you are educating somebody who is going to see the world VERY differently... #...and they will often interpret what you are saying VERY differently than how you intended it to be interpreted... #...again while this isn't solely a conservative issue (believe me i KNOW) i notice it much more in those spaces... #...and since i am in spaces that WANT to educate people about this i think it is apt... #...it isn't a bad thing to want to educate. but again it's not helpful to just assume others are going to interpret you the way you want... #...it's definitely why i stopped making so many posts about educating others. i just don't think i can do it well... #...or at least in a way that doesn't Feel Threatening (even if it Isn't A Threat)

[necessarymeanstoanend]

do you know what a knave is?; an unprincipled man, rogue.

nigel’s

white void of doom and sketch

details

#aaaand here’s alex #why the FUCK is eddie so hard to draw?!?! #you guys are just going to have to excuse the fact that it really doesn’t look much like him #this turned out a little bit better than i expected but it did indeed take three different references to get the desired result #4 hours and 23 minutes #somebody get these hoes better haircuts #the original plan was to have him looking upwards more dramatically but we’re gonna start small when it comes to alex #this is only like my third time drawing eddie ​but now i want to draw alex again and the voices won’t let me sleep #this one looks very odd. there’s a ​couple of obvious things i can see now that i would change if i could do this over again but eh. #i’ll worry about that later #ANIMAL SYMBOLISM #i used the same skeleton design for the background with this one as well #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #alex forbes #art #fanart #drawing #digital art #alex forbes fanart #artist of tumblr #eddie redmayne #like minds fanart #i think now it’s time for me to draw them together but what should they be doing??

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers

[vibingforjudaism]

I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice ....a rabbi. I need a rabbi

#afakelj #seriously though #i thought my last therapist was good! #and then i tried to change some stuff and do some arguing #and the reaction was... mrrrgh #also idk. i feel like.... i don't want to have to update the therapist about what is happening in my life #which is stupid! of course i should they've got many patients #but i feel like what i just sit there talking about my week? i do that to my friends already #i'd like a situation where they knew me enough to already have a general idea of what was going on #so i could meet with them less frequently. say once a month #and then we could work on a specific problem i'm having and i could get advice on that and see how that's working out #i really think of therapy as brain and emotions doctor and where i'm at now i want...more jewish methods of dealing with life? #does this make any sense #.....a bubbe would also work in a different but similar way. i need one of them too T.T #but you see i pay the rabbi by dues to the synagogue. so i just have to find a synagogue i like (lmao just) #i have to marry someone and start raising grandchildren to pay the bubbe

[rosenfey]

does anyone else here have several games in their rotation that they play at the same time or is it just me

#ambie.txt #I feel so bad for doing this because I literally don't know anyone else #i always see mutuals and friends focus on one game at a time and my brain considers that as the normal™ behavior #but I often tend to switch between games or play sth different for a day or two and then go back to other things #and idk idk I am always feeling like I'm doing it wrong and I should only play one game at a time #because I would get confused or it would break my immersion or whatev #idk it just feels proper™ to have one main fixation and when I don't have that and have several things to play #I feel like I am doing it wrong and then I get depressed and just. stop doing anything #I know this is a silly problem to have but I just feel like ass today and i have anhedonia and my brain likes to ruin things for me sometime

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[worstloki]

sigyn that married loki like ages ago so when it comes out he's jotun she's like. 'well it's a bit late to do anything about that'

#''bit sad to find out about this after his death but i suppose i can't blame him for that :/'' #''tell me if he ends up not being dead i think we should sit down and talk about this'' #''totally not cool so hide something like this. im going to dye my hair black as charcoal and not even tell him'' #''lets see how he likes it'' #''the royal family sucks btw. it succ real good.'' #''how does someone find out they are secretly from a different realm. how wouldn't they know. couldn't he tell?'' #''im not saying it's loki's fault but i think it would be less his fault if he was less dramatic about this kind of thing'' #''aaannnndd of course he threw himself off the bifrost by the end of it. do you people know nothing about him?'' #sigyn just decides loki isn't dead to cope btw #it's like thor except she doesn't get depressed about it #''shouldn't she move out of the palace since her husband died?'' nah sorry no one can stand bringing up the topic #she roasts them about it #like have you no shame #there is not even a body #are you trying to kick her out? don't you know who she married? #''he's dead'' alright believe what you want but odin and frigga haven't said anything so she's sticking around #sigyn like i have more important things to do than worry about this kind of thing. like managing the vanaheim exports #she needs to make her money

[front-facing-pokemon]

#alt with eyes hidden under the cut #cofagrigus #their eyes are shiny. made of plastic. so they're looking a little bright. apologies for this #so. generally when i have quarrels about the pronunciation of a pokémon's name (since i don't watch anipoké) #where someone else and i pronounce the same pokémon's name differently. which doesn't happen very often‚ since typically i talk about #pokémon mostly entirely in text. because most of the communication about things i like happens in text. and the pokémon games #are not voice acted. so pronunciation of their names is sparse and sometimes limited to anipoké but even they're inconsistent i think #but whenever i have quarrels about the pronunciation of a name. someone else and i pronounce it differently. i go to pokédex 3d pro #on the 3ds. because every time you go to a pokémon's dex entry‚ the pokédex guy says their name out loud #i basically treat this as gospel for how to pronounce pokémon names. i've been proven wrong a lot but i've also been proven right a lot #and this guy. oooohhh this guy. before pokédex 3d pro i pronounced this guy's name as though the F-slur was right in the middle #only recently did i learn that it kinda sounds like “grievous‚” [kʰɐ.fə.'gɻiː.gəs] #at least. that's how the pokédex 3d pro guy says it #whereas i had been pronouncing it [kʰow.'fæg.ɻɪ.gəs]. so. you can see the issue that arises with that pronunciation #a lot of these pronunciations that i have to double-check just live in my head. and it's only when i say them out loud that i realize #how i'm saying them. like how i pronounce “centiskorch” as [sɑ̃.t͡si̠.skoʁʃ] for some fucking reason. my brain sees it and is like #yeah that's? a french word? even though it looks nothing like one #i also tend to pronounce “grumpig” as ['gʀʊm.pɪç] because of the “ig” at the end. i guess. german instinct #of course these are pronunciations i never say out loud but the first time i Have to say this pokémon's name out loud i'll go #oh yeah! it's not pronounced like that. i should probably not say that #and then i do not. just a fun little story about my twisted and fucked up mind. a little peek into my enigmatic brainspace #jesus christ these are some of the longest tags i've ever written. i'm gonna stop

[larsnicklas]

240227 // jt miller, power play kill merchant

#jt miller #vancouver canucks #canucks #nhl #nhledit #hockey #meg.nucks #meg.gif #meg.all #playbook #get it. because his detractors always say he only racks up the points on the power play. #nothing but respect for MY power kill king. #something u should know about me is that i find a good penalty kill to be one of the hottest things in hockey. #it's about the Competence.... #also sorry i'm blowing out the ice a bit. trying to get the file size down LOL #ALSO the first and fourth gifs are. basically the same. but the fourth gif. is zoomed out. so. they're different..... #ugh i wish i'd been tagging all my in-play gifsets as something... maybe i'll go back through lol. #anyway. hi. it's me. dropping millsy gifs at 2 am central. i can't stop thinking about this play. actually absurd. #the last gif especially you can see him take his stick around l.etang to tap the puck down and forward. christ. the hand-eye coordination!! #god i LOVE hockey. i love it.