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thatalmostopsorceress · 3 months

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[Review] I Hope This Doesn't Find You by Ann Liang [240308]

I just finished binging I Hope This Doesn't Find You by Ann Liang in a day. It was absolutely amazing. I loved every second of it.

The way the author captures every emotion Sadie feels is so captivating, so realistic, so... perfect. I found myself tensing up with when she was worried; I found myself staring intently at the screen of my tablet, my brows furrowed; I found myself smiling along with her.

It was so satisfying reading this novel: the misunderstanding trope wasn't dragged out or annoying, every scene played in my mind exactly like a movie would, and the imagery used was nothing short of spectacular, flowing with the scenes and written in the perfect tone.

The character development was absolutely lovely – something very refreshing and satisfying – they were the opposite of cardboard-plank characters, they all had a purpose to serve and they acted as real humans did, they weren't too childish, too mature, too plain or too flashy.

As I kept reading, I found myself falling in love with the characters more and more – the vanity of Julius, the relatable-ness of Sadie, everything about Abigail... One thing I found especially delightful was how, even though Julius and Sadie were enemies, they were quite the same. [Spoiler Starts] They both loathe the thought of someone pitying them, they both try so hard to be so perfect, they both are equally as obsessed with each other, they make each other feel alive – they just live their lives in different ways. [Spoiler Ends]

Being of Chinese descent, I Hope This Doesn't Find You was even more fun due to the 汉语拼音 embedded within the text – I could hear every word spoken out so smoothly, it was truly an enjoyable experience that evoked immense joy within my heart.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this novel! 10/10! I feel the constant need to gush about it.

Some of my favorite annotations that I made reading it (I'll add my fav quotes another day):

Chapter 1: slay Julius | young and rich, tall and han- | ah girl u ok ah

Chapter 2: girlie what | um girl you're a bit tad bit teeny bit uh obsessed | sus

Chapter 3: I love this guy he's so silly | RIP Sadie, rest in peace our soldier | #relatable I have hot hands

Chapter 7: #slay | HSHAHAHA

Chapter 8: he can scrub !

Chapter 9: oh no! hee hee

Chapter 10: i like how we finally have a normal ml w/o tragic backstory

Chapter 11: liar you're obsessed too <3 | he's so silly how jelly | CS student aye #relatable | we like em cats

Chapter 12: ew

Chapter 13: yoi

Chapter 14: YOI!

Chapter 16: jelly season 2. | haHA | I love this woman :)

Chapter 17: I LOVE ABIGAIL T-T!!!! | ♡ chill gal

Chapter 18: aw not salty? | yeah. salty. | GIRL WAKE UP. U. P. UP | oh my god can't you SEE | oh Abigail how I love you lol

Chapter 19: awie | slay Rosie | SHE'S REFORMED!!! | Julius is just like Sadie aeaeaergh

Chapter 20: OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING YALL!!!!!!! | hee hee

One question kept popping through my mind as I read this novel.... Where is my Julius Gong? I'm a top student (sadly, I'm not any kind of athlete or leader, though I do work out). I get good grades. Relatively. So, uh, God, where can I order a Julius Gong? dfjkdshjfksdf (I'm an agnostic, by the way)

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fluffyselfships · 1 year

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shh they're watching bluey

#this is like the first thing i've drawn since valentine's day fhbff #i think #mental heath has not been good #feb was a rough one yall #kitty n i have been binging bluey for comfort #n its def become a comfort show..#also i think corey said bob liked bluey so #drops this here #comfort #self ship #selfship #❤️hungry for your love🍬#🔪my devil guy🥩#mod bun

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rapidhighway · 7 months

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i would like to share todays win as in, i ate three meals today, very awesome and good for me

#first few days somewhere are always good for me when it come to food i actually eat when im hungry #i struggle with binging n stuff and it's just so good to have a few good meals and be okay with just that #this hasnt happened in weeks because eating is just uncontrollable for me #i know some ppl may say you need 5 meals but consider - i am polish we eat big fuckin meals #hoping to keep this up for the week im at home im cooking dinner tomorrow and that really helps #ok ok byeee i was just real proud of myself when i realized its 10 pm rn and im not feeling sick from eating and stuff #so i am full and not hungery this is magiccc

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coldcrypt · 7 months

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i'm starting to get the appeal of restricting & fasting tbh. Idk which I prefer yet. I dont know which would be better for avoiding binges. It feels nice to not be on a constant sugar rollercoaster tho. I feel crummy sometimes, kinda tired, and theres a lot of food noise in my head, but I just keep distracted, give it time, and then when I can feel the cravings getting too loud to do things I eat a bit but not much... its kinda working. It feels nice tho to be kinda more empty. Even tho the food noise is really loud, I like the fog that comes with it. The hunger isnt even that uncomfortable. Imaging the fat bubbling and dissolving is enough

#cool #inb4 i binge now lol #i think rezzing > fasting for me but I wanna practise fasting more #I like being able to eat bits of things to kind of appease the body without refilling glycogen stores to the point of not getting a deficit #that doesnt result in lipolysis each day. I'm finally figuring out which foods tick my satiety and scarcity boxes so I caan just have #a bit of them and be good. Alc cravings got me wanting chocolate tho :/ idk if its worth getting a small chocolate bar. I feel like #sugar would just trigger a binge and the masssive swing in blood sugar is not worth it. It wouldnt even taste that goodd #It would just feel shit for the next 4 hours being way hungrier than before and feeling shit about it wanting more #not worth #i love courgette. i love cabbage... I love cream cheese. I love feta..#kinda fancy a chicken nugget sandwich with loads of ketchup and salt. But also just not even hungry at all

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babygirlcowboy · 8 months

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Washed my hair for the first time in a week 🥹🥹 made myself a meal 🥹🥹🥹 gonna maybe do something baking 🥹🥹🥹

#okay im sorry but i need to share some mentally ill thoughts just to get them out of my brain #so uhhh #disordered eating cw #<- like heed that warning please #anyway uhhhhh #i really desperately want to binge eat #bc the last week i have been.. severely neglectful of my physical needs so moral of the story...hungry 🧍#but ive been in this game long enough to know that if i eat a big meal rn....i will fuvking die #like level 5 tummy hurt...will most likely throw the fuck up #so...i am desperately trying to hold myself back from doing that #but every fiber of my being wants me to go into the kitchen and eat everything in sight rapid dog style #like i just had a nice breakfast #i am not physically hungry anymore #but its just the #'I've been without proper nutrients for the last 5 days and now my body wants them all' mixed with the #'i had a stressful week and i know that pack of oreos in the pantry would feel so fucking good'#like its so emotional based #which is even harder to deal with then the physical shit #gooooooooood #why did god have to give his toughest battle ((literally just eating the proper amount of food)) to his dumbest soldier ((me))

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slavabogu · 2 years

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if little me could see the way i just demolished this salad she would be freaked out

#i make whatevers in the fridge plus a boiled grain or lentil salad when im lazy and it makes my day #the beauty of the late spring vegetables is really something #i cant express how beautiful it is that healthy food is binge worthy healthy to me now. causing chaos in my while body is behind me #my nails stopped breaking. my period is less painful and more regular #i dont get so extemely hungry if i skip a meal that i get nauseated and anxious anymore #thriving

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loveroftime · 3 months

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My kitty Thor passed away, and I am not handling it well. I am a fucking mess and it's taking every ounce of the little bit of energy I have to not break down at work.

#yatharil rants #personal #i am so heartbroken #i haven't really slept well since he passed 2 days ago #not really hungry but when i am i binge...which is not good for me #he was my best bud and i miss him so much

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adjectiveadjectiveadjective · 6 months

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GOOGLE! tell me how to get this my future mother in law to buy basic necessities like Bread! Milk! Eggs! and Meat!

fuming in tags btw

#unlike her i eat more than a tiny bowls worth of bullshit for dinner #im FAT and GAY!#i need more than a shitty glass of wine and frozen peach slices #or that fucking dinner of LITERALLY A BAGEL???#HELLO???#i feel insane #im so hungry here and the worst part #the worst part????#no fiber. none #I HAVE IBS!!!! I NEED TO BE ABLE TO THROW SOME KALE INTO THINGS OR ILL DIE!!!!!#im so hangry its ruining my fucking life #the fact that i cant reliably know that there will be enough eggs in the morning for me? it makes me. So Mad #this bitch is SO mean to my fiancee and she has the gall to act like shes not the bad guy #im sorry for the rant im just so mad #shes insane! INSANE!!! i cant believe it #eats like a snack and a half a day and then binges shit she got for us if she feels like we dont appreciate her enough #like we have tried to tell her shes got at the VERY LEAST disordered eating but with the amount of supplements shes taking?#the way she is so CLEARLY trudging about and napping to maintain the tiny amount of energy she has?#she has a problem and shes hurting other people with it im so ARRGH #i could keep going tbh #im just #im so angry #i just wish i could have food #food is one of the few things that genuinely makes me happy #she doesnt even have bread for pbj sandwiches #who the fuck does that #she only tells us shes eating if she deems it to be healthy food #oooh look at me and my seed bread its sooo yummy #SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP #im fucking out of tags fml

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sassmill · 1 year

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Oh fucking no

#tw body image #tw body weight #tw body dysmorphia #okay so #I just threw on my favorite pair of shorts from last summer that fit me pretty lovely #and they are now TIGHT #they are supposed to be loose comfy linen shorts and they fit like bike shorts #so I’m going to do everything in my mental toolkit to not let this send me into a massive fucking ed spiral #but does anybody else’s body weight fluctuate this dramatically every single fucking year #my coping mechanism has been to just buy clothes that do fit rather than pressuring myself to fit into what no longer fits #but that’s fucking expensive and wasteful and I really don’t enjoy buying a new wardrobe every season #because I can’t just maintain one weight #I’m either dropping it unhealthily and not eating or I’m binging and ballooning #but 95% of the time it’s all triggered by my work schedule #and the fact that I can’t always have a meal or a snack when I feel hunger #I can’t get into a meal schedule which is what I need #I either have to eat when I’m not hungry because I know I won’t have a chance to later #or I’m not eating all day and then binge when I get home because I’ve been so fucking hungry #and I’m fucking hoping that once I get this group trained and into our regular rotation I’ll be able to have more of a routine #but I’m also getting a promotion because one of my bosses is quitting #so im going to have a completely new routine #and we’re just getting to our busiest season #and im already feeling so out of control #I love that putting on shorts to leave the house leads to this #I have to host a dance concert in a month and a half and I know the dress I wore last year will not fit #so im faced again with: buy something new that does fit or try to lose the weight #I don’t like either of those options. I just want my body to stay the same and keep wearing things.#it fucking sucks.

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the-everqueen · 1 year

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me, insane, unable to go into the kitchen and make dinner (it is 9 pm) because my roommate has a friend over and i cannot let them see me preparing food to eat

#this happened yesterday too #i eventually snuck into the kitchen yesterday to get chicharrones and cherry tomatoes #you know...a standard dinner #i was hoping to eat pasta tonight but idk if that's gonna happen #(i did eat lunch today so like. there's that.)#tw ednos #ocd #idk what else to tag this sorry #i know this is not normal or sane behavior i KNOW #but if they see me pour like. half a pound of pasta into a pot to boil. i will die.#if they see my body cross the kitchen and walk out with anything besides an apple i will die.#i just feel. so gross. and so disgusting. when strangers can see what i eat.#like...is it the right amount? is it normal? is it unhealthy?#am i eating it weird? do i look weird? am i intruding on your space?#and then i feel even crazier like. retreating to my room to eat what i've made.#i do that anyways but like. the roommate has claimed our kitchen table.#me retreating to my room also makes me more likely to...binge?#is it binging when you're just hungry bc you haven't eaten all day and now you're desperate?

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fernspirals · 1 year

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At least today was productive

#I did a lot of homework #washed my bedsheets #went to a botanical garden ….#I still have energy though and it’s 9pm #I am going to eat tacos even though I’m not hungry #my relationship with food has become horrible honestly I’m just binging all the time and I’m so afraid of what that will lead to #I also cried at imaginary situations today twice #I needed to cry though so not sure how normal people cry #anyway day ….. 5 #🦷

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ryn-stillstanding · 4 months

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I just started restrictive eating again after gaining weight on my antidepressants- things that helped me get started

starting slow:

-> cut out snacks, then breakfast, then lunch - then reduced supper to 700, down to 500cal

-> started with weight training (before i started dieting), added in 30min walks a few times a week and built up to 60mins a day and weight training 3x a week

figured out how to control cravings:

-> when i feel i need to eat, i tell myself to drink a cup of green tea, and if im still hungry ill have something small

-> im a chip girly and i love the taste, so i bought crispy minis in my favourite flavours (7cal / chip) and i eat a couple every day

-> for sweets, keep small chocolates, or i make my coffee sweet with zero cal coffee syrup, which keeps me satisfied all day

-> for fried foods, I just be careful with what I eat. for chicken fingers, i eat chicken breast instead - for fries, i eat other carbs (the low cal salty snacks help too)

-> if you don’t control your cravings, they will control you

figured out my triggering times and adjusted:

-> i start feeling hungry around 2-3, so that’s when i go on my daily walk (im lucky to be able to do this) it keeps me out of the house and away from food until supper

-> i used to binge on chips and chocolates at night, now i drink tea sweetened with stevia and a couple of crispy minis

-> at my triggering times, i look at thinspø, or my body to remind myself why im doing this

other rules i follow:

-> if tea is not available, drink an entire stanley of water before seeing if you’re hungry

-> chew about 10x per bite

-> drink an entire stanley of water while eating my supper to keep me full (i honestly feel stuffed after)

-> i still go out to eat with friends, but order something small / healthier, and pack up half for tomorrows meal. i want to lose the weight, but i want to enjoy time with friends too

-> “if i binge, ill just feel more hungry tomorrow”

-> embrace the hunger, it means im burning fat

-> i waited till i felt “skinnier” to weigh in, because i knew seeing the number would discourage me (idk why it has the opposite effect on me)

-> doing the calculations to find out when i will hit goals with my cal intake (number of days x caloric deficit / 3500 = pounds lost) - this keeps me motivated having an “end date”, but i dont think ill ever want to quit

^^ check out my pinned post to see how to do this + set rewards

thanks that’s all :)

#ed disorder #ed not ed sheeran #thinspø #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ving #tw disordered eating #tw ed diet #anatumblr #ana tricks #tw ana diary #ana bllog #ana trigger #ana meal #i need to ⭐️ve #⭐️rve #i want to ⭐️ve #ed advice #thin$po #i need to be weightless

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spideysatan · 2 years

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oh boy im feeling like some sadness and overall lack of confidence are about to hit haRD.

#hate it here #just went into the kitchen cuz i was like yeah im kinda hungry and just felt my body freeze in place #so i just turned around and now im in bed again...#i know this feeling and i hate it so much but i literally cannot help it #i know if i go and try to push thru i'll just end up binge eating and 'blacking out' and feeling guilty #but also. ive only ate once today... and idk if this is gonna be the wake up the next day super hungry and eat a lot orrrr #wake up 'not hungry' and not eating for like 3 days #the absolute russian roulette that this shit is.....#fucking hell man #just wish i had someone to help me thru it cuz its hard to manage it all by myself #fuckkkkk #at least i know i'll be seeing people and doing cool stuff during this week so it might not be that bad #but idk lol #*y #tw eating issues

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bcyoureallthatmakessense · 2 years

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Friendly reminder that fat people have eating disorders other than binge eating too.

#i swing wildly from binge eating to not eating #literally diagnosed w ed not otherwise specified #but when i tell people i have an ed its automatically oh binge eating right #yeah sometimes #but also sometimes i dont eat???#like my relationship with food has never been healthy and im just so tired of it.#it takes up this section of my brain power every day #did i eat wnough so i wont binge later #is this a binge or am i just hungry #how the fuck do any people who were teens in the 90s/2000s fuction healthily with food #how #i hate this time of year #i caht enjoy my food bc im fat #im so stressed about everything that enters and exits my body on the daily #honestly if i was a regular journaler i would probably have a food diary #about me #melismusings #tw ed descussion

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dizscreams · 1 year

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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT81ra4ov/

Hii! I've been binge reading most of ur fics, especially ur Hobie Brown ones :)) I was wondering if you could pls write one based off this tiktok, idk I feel like he'd give the most comforting hugs 😭 maybe the readers having a bad day and Hobie has to put up with it for the most part and she realizes how bad she's acting up and feels awful about it

STOP THIS TREND IS SO SWEET :(

MY BABY !

— Hobie Brown ★

PAIRING: Hobie Brown x GN!Reader

A/N: this helped me w my motivation hdjshfh

“Hey love, you alright?” Your boyfriend, who was sitting on your bed, greeted you as you entered your bedroom. You looked upset and angry as you flopped down on the bed. “ ‘M fine, Hobie,” you grumbled your reply as you put your face into your pillow.

“You don’t look fine.” He put his hand on your back and rubbed soothing circles on it before you swatted his hand away. “I’m fine,” you told him sternly, “I just want to take a nap.”

“You want me to take one with ya?”

“No, I want to be alone.”

You said the last part quite harshly and Hobie raised an eyebrow. He got up off of the bed and left the room muttering a ‘fine then’. He went into the living room and slumped down on the couch. Hobie bounced his foot up and down as he searched for something to watch on the TV.

He didn’t want to leave you alone, he wanted to comfort you. The fact that you didn’t want him around you hurt, but he also understood you just needed to calm down a bit. So, for half of the afternoon he sat on the couch while on his phone and half watching the tv.

That didn’t stop him from looking at your bedroom door and quietly going in the room to check on you every now and then, though. At one point you had finally come out of the room but you barely even looked at Hobie and when he tried to make conversation you brushed him off.

“Hungry?” He asked as he watched you rummage through the refrigerator.

“Yep.”

Hobie stood up and walked towards you. “Want me to make you somethin?” He asked, stretching.

“I’m fine, Hobie.” You slammed the refrigerator door and went back into your room. Hobie tilted his head back and let out a sigh as he walked back to the couch and sat on it. He wanted to know what was the matter with you but he didn’t want to risk making you even more mad.

The only reason he was being patient was because he knew you. He knew you’d come around.. eventually! He debated going back to his own dimension a couple thousand times while he was waiting but he didn’t want to leave you.

Eventually ended up being in the evening when Hobie was about to doze off on the couch.

You on the other hand couldn’t sleep. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way you had treated your boyfriend. So, you slowly got up and opened your bedroom door to take a peak into the living room. You saw him sprawled out on the couch looking half awake.

You left the bedroom completely and walked over to the couch. “Hobie,” you asked quietly as you slightly shook him, “You awake?” He opened his eyes all the way and nodded, “Yeah, ‘M awake doll.” You smiled softly and sat at the end of the couch. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick today.” You gave him a sad look and he gave you a small smile in return. “C’mere,” he said as he shifted his position to sit back against the couch instead of laying across it. You made your way over to him and sat right next to him, leaning into his side.

You put your head on his shoulder and he put his arms around your middle. “I’m sorry, Hobie.” He chuckled, “t’s alright, love. Promise.” You shook your head, “It’s not.” You hugged him tighter and his smile only grew. “It is.”

You littered small kisses across his jaw and neck. “I really am sorry, baby. You’re too good to me,” you said against his skin. He shook his head and kissed the top of yours. “You wanna talk about why you’ve been in a mood all day?”

You smiled. and ranted to him while he traced shapes along your back.

#dizzy writes?! 😵‍💫#hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #spiderpunk #spiderpunk x reader #across the spiderverse #not proofread!!! wooo

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starstruckmiraclekitty · 1 year

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I was thinking and wondering about how 141 and könig would react if their s/o started breaking down whenever they dropped a plate or fucked up in some way like leaving something on the stove and their s/o completely breaks down. Apologizing and crying and saying “pls don’t be mad at me” stuff like that.

Or reader accidentally says “ok” I’m a kinda of snippy voice and they genuinely didn’t hear reader, and say “what?” And reader responds with “yes sir” or some shit like that as a trauma response? Srry if this is confusing lol

If this makes you uncomfortable pls ignore

Hey there! I can do this, no problem.

141 + König Reacting To Reader Having A Breakdown From Past Trauma

Warnings: mentions of past trauma, abuse, crying, feelings of unworthiness, swearing - ENDS IN FLUFF!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

Nothing was going your way today. You spilled coffee on yourself first thing this morning, stepped in a muddy puddle with your brand new shoes, and your boss was in a horrible mood, and you were his target.

You made it home later that night, and it took everything in you not to break down. Simon would be home soon, and you knew he'd be hungry, so you mustered what energy you could to head to the kitchen and start cooking.

"Hey babe, I'm home." You heard Simon's voice call from the front door.

"Hey, dinner is ready." You turned a bit too quickly to greet your husband, and the plate of food in your hands slid from your grasp, smashing to the floor.

You both stood there for a moment, staring at the mess on the floor, before you let out a choked sob.

Simon quickly threw his gear to the floor and carefully made his way around the broken shards to you. "Baby, what's wrong? It's okay. We can clean it."

"Please don't be mad at me, Simon." You sobbed into his chest. "I didn't mean to it, it slipped."

Simon's eyes widened as he looked down at you, grasping your cheeks in his hands softly. "Sweetheart, why would I be mad at you? It was an accident."

"Because I broke the plate! And you were probably hungry, and now dinner is ruined, and I'm a terrible spouse." Your brain was going a mile a minute as the word vomit continued to pour out. "I'm so sorry, Simon. I'll be better."

Simon pulled you back into his chest as he tore through the thoughts in his head. Why were you so upset? It was just a plate. You two could order takeout? What kind of person would be mad over....oh. A lightbulb went off in Simon's head as he looked down at you.

"Y/N, sweetheart, look at me."

You slowly peeled your head from his chest as you looked up at him, your eyes puffy and red from crying.

Simon rubbed his thumbs along your cheeks gently before he spoke. "I'm not him. And you are a wonderful spouse. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be by my side every day. I don't give a damn if you dropped a plate. We are all human, kid."

You let out another sob, your bottom lip quivering as you took in his words. It was known, Simon was a man of few words, but he always, always knew what to say to help you in the moment.

"I love you, Y/N, always. I'm always going to be here for you, and I promise you, I'm never going to get mad about trivial shit like this. You're okay."

Simon stayed holding you for some time, rubbing soothing circles in your back as you started to calm down. "Why don't we order some takeout, yeah? My treat."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

You and Johnny had just finished up dinner, and he was currently finishing up the dishes as you got the show you two were binging ready on the TV.

"Do you want any popcorn or anything babe?" He asked as he placed the last dish in the cupboard.

"Nah, only you and a buttload of cuddles." You said, turning to him with a warm smile.

Johnny leaned back, admiring you, as his hands rested on the stove behind him.

"FUCK!" He cried out, as there was a searing pain emitting from his hand. "Is the stove still on?"

You jumped up from your spot on the couch, alarmed at Johnny's cry of pain, and you went white as you realized you'd forgotten to turn the stove off after cooking dinner.

"Oh my God, Johnny. I'm so sorry." You mumbled, your heart beginning to race as you made your way over to your boyfriend slowly.

"Shite, that fucking hurts." Johnny waived his hand in the air, trying to shake away some of the pain, not realizing his quick movements had you hunched down in the corner, your arms over your head defensively.

"Y/N?" He asked, the pain in his hand long forgotten. "Baby, did you..did you think I was going to hit you?"

"I...I... I'm sorry, Johnny. I didn't mean to, I forgot I thought I turned it off." You cried out, tears now falling down your cheeks, your hands shaking violently.

"Did that..did that fucker hurt you?" Johnny began to put the pieces together in his brain. Before him, you were in a relationship with a man who liked to hurt you whenever you made a mistake.

You gave a small nod, your bottom lip trembling as you tried to prevent a small sob from escaping. Johnny slowly moved to sit on the floor next to to, and grabbed your hands gently.

"Y/N, I will never, and I mean never lay a finger on you like that. Any man who does has no right to be called a man. I am so sorry you went through that." Johnny rubbed soothing circles into your wrists as his eyes stared lovingly into yours. "Don't worry about the stove being left on. It happens. I do shit like that all the time. Plus, I've gotten way worse burns than this, this is child's play."

You let out a soft chuckle as you exhaled deeply. "I love you, Johnny. Thank you. Let me at least grab the burn cream for you."

"I love you too, babe." He have you a warm smile as you walked over to the medicine cabinet and watched as you fumbled with the contents.

Johnny made a silent promise to himself that day, that if he ever saw your ex, he'd teach him a lesson of his own.

John Price-

"Hey, have you seen my white dress shirt? It's not in my closet." John asked, as he rummaged through your shared room. He had a gala tonight he was supposed to attend, and he couldn't find his favorite white shirt.

"Oh! I washed it, I knew you wanted to wear it, let me go grab it from the dryer." You called back, making your way to your laundry room.

You rummaged through the dryer, trying to find his shirt, and your heart dropped when you saw it. You pulled it out, revealing a giant ink stain on the front, and looked over to find a pen that had gone through the dryer along with it.

Your hand flew to your mouth as you let out a muffled sob. "No, no, no."

"Were you able to find it? I appriciate you washing-" John's voice was cut short as he took in the scene in front of him. "Is that my shirt?"

"John...I... I didn't know that it was..there was a pen." You started rambling, your voice trembling with each word.

John took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he took in your state. "It's alright, love."

"No! No you're mad, I fucked up and now you're mad. I'm so sorry. I didn't know there was a pen, and..and.. please don't hate me." You sobbed, falling to your knees, your hands flying to your face.

John felt his heart shatter as he watched you crumble to the floor. He was very aware of the past you had with your family, a family that allowed for very few mistakes, and one that would punish you for any said mistakes.

"Y/N. Baby. It's okay." John crouched down beside you, pulling you into his lap. "I've got you, it's alright."

You choked out a sob as you threw your face into his chest, staining his shirt with your tears. "No, no, it's not. This was your favorite shirt and I fucked it up."

"Love, I was the one who left that pen in my pants. It's my fault, not yours. I promise you, honey, I'm not mad." He rubbed at your arms soothingly as he pressed kisses to your forehead.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as you continued to clutch onto your husband's arms. "I should've looked, still. I'll buy you a new one."

"Aye, screw the shirt. I'm kind of glad it's ruined. I didn't want to go to that silly dress up party anyway. I'd much rather stay here with you."

"Really?" You asked, wiping away your tears.

"Really. I don't need some to be at some party with stuffy stuck-up pricks when I can be here with my pretty little partner. I'm gonna go order us some takeout. What do you say we get our pjs on and watch a movie, yeah?"

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

"Hey, babe. Can you keep me alive in this game for like 5 minutes? I have to go run to the bathroom, I can't pause it." Kyle called out.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm not very good at those kinds of games but I can try." You gave him a sheepish smile as you walked over to him.

"It should be super easy. Just walk anywhere, but where the guys with red bars over their heads are. Those are the enemies." Kyle said, before placing a kiss on your head. "I'll be super quick, I promise."

You swallowed thickly as Kyle walked away, your hands shaking slightly as you held onto the controller.

You managed to do pretty well at first, avoiding all of the enemies that were wandering around you. Luck, however, was not on your side for long.

An enemy came out of nowhere as you were pacing back and forth in one of the corners of the map and managed to kill you with one hit.

"Thanks for watching it, babe. I hate how I can't save my progress in -" Kyle stopped mid sentence as he saw the "YOU DIED" message flicker across the TV screen.

"Kyle, I'm so sorry. He...he came out of nowhere, and I.. it was one hit, and there wasn't anything I could do." You started to hyperventilate, your breathing increasing rapidly as tears brimmed in the corner of your eyes. "I was doing well, and I didn't see him I.. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, it's okay!" Kyle was quick to come over to you, taking the controller from your hands. "I'm not mad, baby."

"But you losy your progress and I fucked up, and now you hate me." Your thoughts were racing through your head faster than you could process, and you threw your face into your hands as you let out a sob.

"Y/N. Baby. I promise you, I couldn't ever hate you. It's a stupid video game. It's okay. You're safe. You're with me, not him." Kyle gently pulled you into his lap as he began to press kisses to your hair. "It's okay, sweetheart. Besides, it gives me a chance to go back and loot better shit anyway."

You looked up to him through your bleary eyes, and gave a wobbly smile. "I don't deserve you, Kyle Garrick."

"Bugger off with that, love. If anyone doesn't deserve anyone, it's me who doesn't deserve you."

König-

You and König were cleaning up in the weapons/gear locker at the end of a brutal mission. The two of you moved in slow motion around the room, removing your gear and laying down your weapons to be cleaned.

"Maus, can you help me get this vest off? I can't seem to get the buckle." Königs voice shook you from your thoughts, and you turned to help your lover.

The strap of the vest seemed to be stuck, so you gave it a little tug. You evidently had put too much pressure, and it caused you to tear a hole in the fabric, leaving the strap useless.

Your mouth flew open, and you quickly ran over to grab one of the sewing kits on the table. You returned to him, and immediately started to thread at the fabric.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. It's just a tear. We can look at it later." König said, trying to grab at your frenzied hands.

"NO! No, I have to fix it!" You shoved him away as you continued to stitch at the torn fabric of his vest. "I have to fix it."

König watched helplessly as tears began to stream down your face, unable to do anything to console you.

He knew of your past boyfriend and how weak he made you feel. Any mistake you made would end with you being on the end of either physical, or mental abuse, and it made Königs blood boil thinking that anyone could harm someone like you.

"Maus." His voice was firm, catching your attention immediately. "Stop, please."

Your bottom lip wobbled, a whimper barely escaping your lips as you looked up at him. "But I ruined it."

"I don't care about the vest, schatz, it's military issued I can get another." He said gently, as he pulled your hands away from the vest. "I just need you to be okay."

"I'm..okay. Please don't me mad at me." You cried softly, looking back to the vest.

"I couldn't ever be mad at you for something like this. I'm not, and will not ever be like him, okay? You're alright, I promise you." His hands dropped yours and landed on the back of your neck, as he turned your head back to him.

"Tell me you're okay." He said, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"I'm okay." You repeated, your eyes fluttering shut.

"Tell me you're safe." Another kiss was pressed to your cheek.

"I'm safe."

"Tell me you're loved." A kiss was placed to your forehead.

"I am loved." You repeated once more as a final kiss was placed to your lips. König had started this "mantra" of sorts one of the very first panic attacks you had with him, and it had become a comfort for you ever since. He was always the best at calming you down.

"You are so beautiful, Maus. I love you so much. Let's get the rest of this gear off and go to sleep, alright? I've got you."

And he did, he always had you. He'd never, in his life, ever let you feel like you were anything less than wonderful.

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A/N: thanks for reading!

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