#so I can grab them on my way out

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

The assistant manager was bitchy about my classroom being messy and unorganized while I was out sick, and apparently, while I was gone, she set out a bucket of toys that were set aside for outdoor play (visibly covered in dirt), put out a teaching tool as a toy (pieces now scattered around the room), and put paper and borders up on my bulletin boards (with staples, which aren't allowed in my classroom. We have to use tape. And now there are staples all over my classroom carpets).

#ranntics #I am so furious about it. nobody asked her to do any of that! #the toys on the top of the cubbies aren't ''clutter'' they're in a bucket and located by the door #so I can grab them on my way out #the teddy bear is not for them to run around with it is a social emotional tool. it says that on the bear. #and she didn't even clean up after the kids left toys were scattered everywhere and the floor hadn't been mopped #did she think I was going to come in and do it? who did she think was responsible for cleaning in that situation? #I'm so pissed off

[dayurno]

this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it

and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?

anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode

two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion

#this has been so upsetting to notice but 🥹whatever #there is a different kind of bitterness to thinking about how ten years have passed #and we are getting new content that changes and maybe even rectifies many of the ways we see and interact w aftg #and none of it not a bit of it addresses the racism #how it’s been ten years and the only thing we really get to show it is a book about a ship between two white men the fandom came up with #after seeing them be Suggested to interact in canon #i understand not wanting to hurt nora sakavics feelings by asking her about this #but imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are #do you know how bad it feels to read through nicky’s worst moments in aftg #and know that he was written this way because he looks like me? #do you understand how exhausting it all is. can you imagine? #the fandom has been so quick to undo the criticism fans of colors have been making since day one #and for what. for what! my doves. for what? #have we come out of it any greater? have we done anything but lie to ourselves? #and anyway this is not some mindless pessimism #this is not me telling you that aftg is bad and you cant love it; cant have it mean anything to you #this is me saying that when we acknowledge these things it makes us better readers and better people #nora sakavic if you are reading this from whatever hellhole america you find yourself in #grabs you by the shoulders. This is not the end #this is not something to sit back and feel bad about #you have opened the floodgates of hell with tsc. kick the door in and release a revised version of aftg #there is a real material way for you to make this better. it is possible and it will not kill you #i would read a revised aftg. my mutuals would. many many many many fans would #making mistakes is not just a human right its a human inevitability #but we do not have to let ourselves get defined by them. We can do hard things #lets go of nora sakavics shoulders. anyway. where were we #aftg #txt #tsc

[seagull-scribbles]

If I don’t survive the night,

If I make it to the morning-

#tmnt 2003 #casey jones #raphael splinterson #does this count as 03 when it is technically the reboot #TMNT turtles forever #rasey #don’t get me wrong this can be platonic but I’m mentally Ill so I’m tagging the ship regardless #me and my friend watched this like 7 months ago but urgh the bit where raph goes back shouting for Casey and Leo has to grab his shoulder #to lead him out of harms way……urgh #couldn’t stop thinking about it and really wanted to draw them hugging #have done a rasey gift for my friend and almost did 03 hugging but I didn’t something else so #had to get this out my system regardless #shoutout to ray Leo and Rena for letting me pester you while I did this #one one month left of 2023….unreal…. #i just think when raph gets casey back audience be damned hell give him the biggest tightest hug he can #theyre just peas in a pod in this version just so completely in sync and inseperable #i cant cope im ugly crying over this #i wish i was good with words

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol #ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that #giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own #thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha.... #and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like. #say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways #portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol. #anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land #most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he.... #that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha #is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv #and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance #like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4 #thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat... #and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at #or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed. #&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no #something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne #that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing.... #appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough #but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it

[nyanfish]

its still cold enough for wintery stuff right? right..?

#the answer is yes. im still wearing thermo leggings and had to grab my gloves again. #persona 4 #yosukan #yosuke hanamura #kanji tatsumi #you wont believe how much ive messed w these colours. #i started by randomly filling them in w green and blue and then altering the hue. worst mistake of my life. #it turned out cute in the end but oh my god. what a roundabout way of doing things. so many adjustment layers and different passes. #i also fixed both their faces cause last night they looked ROUGH. its way better now thank god. #but i slapped on the shading last night and did not touch it again lmao #now im satisfied. so tomorrow i can get to the requests again. yippeee #tedpost #tedart

[dairyfreenugget]

(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)

Hey hey hey

May I interest you in

(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)

Teehee

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards #the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of #void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later #PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted #and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No #the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this #Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire #place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with #examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and #suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still #hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they #have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up #while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much #attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem #much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing #properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had #after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then #they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void #left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare #at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he #and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant #and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts #And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection #oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB

[tsuchinokoroyale]

More like rad-b-gone lol

#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol #thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless #except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5% #so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move… #oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it #him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮‍💨 #I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴 #radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one #which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴 #I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes #and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once #like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where #(( outside of gank fights )) #the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death #had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build #and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably #can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears #I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it #Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳 #excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss #I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8 #so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳 #tsuchi plays games

[creaturefeaster]

What is it like to raise birds? I really like birds and I would like to have as many as you but I have no idea if it is how I imagine it, even so, if I had some I would love them! I'm sorry if there are spelling mistakes.

Owning and raising birds is a real treat. They are easy to understand if you're committed to learning, and are a really fun and healthy source of entertainment. Most of my childhood was me being a bedridden hermit, and getting chickens was the first and most vital step in getting me outdoors and moving more. It's amazing how much flock animals can change your life for the better.

Chickens are funny, easy to keep happy, and if you handle them right, extremely loving in their own way that makes it exciting to go out each day and see how they're doing.

Raising them from chicks yourself is the best way to ensure they'll be friendly and loving when they're older. It can be sort of scary when you have your first chicks, it's easy to think they're more fragile than they are, or that you're upsetting them, but baby birds just like to whine. Some more than others, but either way you learn pretty quickly that being consistent and easy-going with your attention is what birds tend to like.

Working with a calm hand and persistence, you will be rewarded with a fun hobby that comes with many benefits. Chickens are best for eggs and compost, getting rid of food scraps and old (but never moldy!) food turns into fresh eggs to eat and poop for fertilizing the land. Geese are great for maintaining wild plant growth, keeping grass low cut and invasive weeds at bay, and also produce a lot of feather fluff if you have use for goose feathers. Their eggs are also massive, though not as good for frying as chicken eggs. Ducks are great at keeping garden pests at bay, and can be super amusing as they're surprisingly fast paced and emotive animals.

They are very messy, though. Maybe not as much with chickens-- as long as they have a dry space they keep themselves pretty clean as long as you change their bedding when they need it. Ducks and geese however, which are waterfowl, can be much much messier. Ducks especially. They need a lot of water to be happy, and get it everywhere. This in combination with their poop leads to quickly dirtied water and muddy enclosures if you don't keep up with the cleaning. Every day I get messy and wet for their sake. I don't mind it, but it can be harder to manage in colder and wetter months.

It can be a bit of a hump to get past the grosser parts of poultry care, but once you get past that, and you have a routine, I think it's still a relatively easy thing to maintain, and is worth it for all the pleasantries the birds bring in turn.

Chickens do well with less space than a lot of other poultry, their comfortable square foot per individual radius is rather small, given they have room to run and can all get along. It is simple and easy to raise chickens in a suburban backyard. I am not sure if it works similarly for other countries, but look up your town ordiances for poultry livestock allowances, if in the USA. More towns allow backyard hens than you'd expect, depending on the square footage of your property.

Geese and ducks need much more space, they are roamers and need large spaces to walk, stretch their wings, and explore to stay happy lest they grow bored and agitated. Unless you live in rural neighborhoods, it is unlikely you can own waterfowl. And roosters; Many suburban towns that allow hens do not allow roosters, because they are noisy.

Quails are also another choice, if chickens are too intimidating or difficult to procure in your area. Many quails can live quiety and happily in an enclosure even inside, so long as they have proper enrichment. They can be a good and cute stepping stone to bigger birds like chickens or ducks.

Turkeys and guinea fowl are interesting in their own way as well. I don't have as much experience with turkeys, they're larger and sassier but they generally work well with chickens. Plus they make funny noises and are amusing to look at. Guinea fowls, kind of like geese, are really good watch dogs if you live in a place with hawks, eagles, or small predators. They are very loud and vocal, and can be somewhat assertive and protective of their flock. They're also really stupid looking.

But anyways, back to what it's like to have birds in general... If you're birdbrained you will feel at home when you are amongst your flock. If you aren't birdbrained, enough time around them will make you so. It will be a peaceful experience and the work put into them is always rewarding. Being able to sit with chickens, letting them jump up to you and eat from your hand, or petting and hugging a duck, or having a gaggle of geese follow you through a field in a slow line... it's like having a fun and obtainable experience to look forward to every day. :3

Oh, I was going to end it there but I actually have one more thing to add. This part of poultry care is the part people don't always like to hear/realise, but the biggest thing with poultry is: Do not raise what you are not willing to kill. Regardless of whether you raise birds like chickens for meat, eggs, or just as pets, you must accept that fact that at some point, you may need to humanely cull one. Unwanted males do not sell/rehome easily, and can become an issue to take care of if you aren't ready to cull. Sick hens do not always make it, and sometimes you have to decide to spare them the pain and put them down. Vets can sometimes help with this, but most of the time that requires an exotics expert, and can cost you much more than it's worth. Being able to cull your birds is also useful life experience and teaches proper animal respect.

Just, keep that in mind if you ever look into owning birds. You need to be strong for their sake, you are the one they depend on the most.

#its just fun to have a herd of animals that trusts you #there's nothing like it!!! #sorry i went on for a bit there i just love birds.......... #i feel like the luckiest person in the world sometimes when im out with my geese #i get to run across a field and large & elegant birds run and flap their beautiful wings alongside me #i can sit on a hill and watch them from an acre away slowly make their way towards me #because they want to come stand with me because they think me part of their flock #i can grab some grass and wiggle it #and they all pog and get excited and squeak when i toss it to them #i cant get a single word out if somebody comes to talk to me because they all start yelling the second i make too much noise #because they want to be involved in the noise making #also they're so protective of me its nuts #i basically have 5 birdy body guards #i love my chickens too dont get me wrong but........ #geese is where it's at for me as of late

[babacontainsmultitudes]

[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

#Then there's also a part of me that's like “does anyone even care at this point? haven't I already talked about them too much?” #but I have seen many a take that irk me... #and perhaps at the center of it all nagging at me is that persistent conflation of love and pride #Less about that in Normal's mind so much as in Will's and the fandom's 🤔 #Also that reoccurring issue of the fandom going ''Normal thinks this therefore it is The Truth'' though I believe I've discussed this befor #And... Hooks Will could have grabbed onto but didn't... Quite a few of those... #And the double standard/negativity bias in fandom of ignoring that Sparrow says both that he loves and likes Normal while doodlerized #But not treating those with the same legitimacy we do the pride thing. And ignoring Sparrow's demonstrations of love and change... #And what the love wolf scene actually implies about Sparrow (as I see it) with his own explanation of the pride thing in mind #But also!!! Also on Norm's epilogue and how despite everything taken at face value (i.e. no teen talk influence) I don't actually hate it #and I think it's plenty salvageable #And gah also that like *regardless* of how things turn out with Normal and his dad- #Well I haven't listened to much of the teen talk just the directly Sparrow-relevant clips #so I don't know quite how cynical Will is or isn't about Normal's future #But like. UGH. What I'm trying to say is even if things didn't find resolution vis-a-vis his dad #(which tbh I could go either way on- it's the meta misinterpretations of Sparrow that Bother me not so much Normal's) #(Well that's complicated. Again it comes back to the love vs. pride thing gosh this is so vague of me lol) #With all the positive influences in his life (and just the fact that life is long? and therapy is a thing?) I just don't see Normal- #being Miserable for the rest of his life. Like. I mean I won't elaborate here really but damn it no he can absolutely turn out alright stil #blugh #BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF AND THAT'S ONLY VAGUE RAMBLINGS ABOUT *SOME* OF IT #Like I'm proud of a lot of my essay posts (which I'm hoping to eventually compile in a masterpost eventually actually) but they take a whil #And if my heart wants to do other things... Ah idk... #ANYWAYS a vent to vent a vent to vent

[skoulsons]

the father-daughter relationships where they start off pointing their weapons at each other not liking the other to literally flying home together in the span of like…two days. or less. no but really. I’m dying over here.

#HIM CALLING HER LITTLE BIRD?:?:!?;:?;’vdv?:?:? #AND THEN BIRDIE?:?;??:?;? #‘were you going to give me to them?’ #‘no.’ #him thanking her for helping with his arm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #AND THEM TALKING ABOUT STREAMER GIRL???? AND THE SMILE ON HIS FACE????? #‘I shouldn’t tell you unless you read it someday’ #‘seems I must’ #‘you must think I’m strange’ #‘not at all. it’s quite impressive’ 😭😭😭😭😭 #‘well you can’t…you can’t think like that. you go down that path it’s…it’s not good. you need someone to blame- blame me’ im blubbering. #‘my name is cee’ #‘ITS NICE TO MEET YOU CEE’ #him saying hold it like you love it and remembering that parallel on here to Joel ep6 talking about squeezing the trigger #that one guy was probably gonna kill her (and him) but Ezra said ain’t no way you’re hurting a hair on her head #‘you run fast and you don’t stop’ AND HE GETS SO CLOSE I SWEAR THEIR HELMETS TOUCH #‘YOU NEED TO GO. YOU GRAB THE GUN YOU GO. YOU CAN MAKE IT. GET OUT OF HERE’ JOELELLIE EP7 #AND SHE GOES BACK FOR HIM AND THEN THEY GO HOME TOGETHER #im fine everything’s cool I’m not going insane over them I’m not. #prospect 2018 #prospect #ezra prospect #prospect ezra #cee prospect #ezra and cee #pedro just adopts little kids left and right and it’s so. so good.

[sol-draws-sometimes]

I’m gonna have to become a furry cause they made girl Tigress dirty

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 3 #tigress #kfp #kfp3 #kfp tigress #i just finished Kung Fu Panda 3 and I’m angy #THE WORST PART IS THAT IT’S NOT EVEN A BAD MOVIE #LIKE THERE ARE GOOD THINGS IN IT #BUT LIKE #THEY CHARCTER ASSINIATED TIGRESS #and Master Shifu(but they killed his charcter in 2) #I don’t even want to watch 4 I heard they made her even morr dityy #The dad/panda stuff is cool #I’ve also heard that’s the only good part of 4 #ALSO MY SISTER IS SO RIGHT #TIGRESS WAS BASICALLY ADOPTED BY SHIFU IDK MAYBE SHE CAN KINDA RELATE TO PO #NOPE #I’M SORRY BUT SHE WOULD BE HELPING OUT WAY MORE #LIKE AT LEAST BE TEACHING THE OTHER PANDAS IN THE MONTAGE WILL THE GIRL COPIES HER #UUUUUUGH #WHATEVER IT’S FINE THE DAD’S WERE CUTE #I HATE THE VILLAN #SUCH A TERRIBLE VILLAN #WHY DOES EVERYONE GET SUCKED SO EASILY #SHIFU SHOULD’VE BEEN SUCKED WHEN HE SAW OOLONG NECKLACE #AND THEN KAI DYSTROYS PLACE AND TIGRESS GRABS THE SCROLL AND DIPS #BUT ALSO SHE SHOULD’VE FOUGHT MORE #ALL OF THEM ACTUALLY #ESPECIALLY OOLONG THAT WAS THE OPENING SCENE AND JT WAS SO LAME

[anaalnathrakhs]

i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.

#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating #i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice. #i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything. #i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years #i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating #i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group #nowhere i go will be free of obligations #i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway #my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not #they see me binge and nothing happens #we just ignore it #i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished #hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me #i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life #both meals with other people and my ritual binges #i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging #and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food #to other people #it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction #my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want #or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie #or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something #and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :) #and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly. #so badly that no one can deny i need help #i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital. #no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim #i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me #but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care. #so fuck me i guess

[beatcroc]

comic planning/roughs on the clock at work 👍 ok. this one's still a few posts out though

#god i really do just need to get a tablet or. something #some way to draw digitally on the go bc my laptop is um #at least 200% less portable than your typical old clunky laptop. its a whole ordeal #and as u can see tradish scribbles are barely usable #though i guess it would help if i ever remembered to grab something besides a shite pen at work lmao <-hates pen forever #mad bc i think this one is kind of mid+redundant for what i'd intended it to do bc of how some of the previous ones shifted #but i still gotta draw it bc one of the later ones uses it. buh #when i said these werent chronological or connected btw i lied #though only VERY VERY LOOSELY so. enough to bother *me* if i don't do them in order #but not enough that's really going to be noticeable to anyone else. they're each still intended 99% as standalone. #the arc is very minor but its there. for me. for anyone else it probably just amounts to a couple easter egg references/ consistencies #by the by the pizzaposts before this arent part of the series. #one small quickie thing and one i would...really like to get done sooner rather than later bc i need it out of my system #former's like 70% sketched im just waffling on execution #latter is uh...theres a lot there but it's harder to work on And harder tell how close to done it is. #unrelated its funny how i Always forget brick until i start putting anything down and then its like oh god yeah i can do bg Jokes with him #funny in the sense that one of my webcomic protag oc's is a...spatially similar deal as him [little kid with a big bear companion] #and i ALWAYS forget the bear when im scripting it. until i start messing with the layout and its like fuck theres a bear. #i have to do things with this now. fortunately thus far it hasn't been too hard to adapt #much rambling tonight goodbye. i haev to go block all these damn bots

[silouvertongues]

god i genuinely hate celebrities there's nooo way he hasn't seen a single thing about starbucks and mcdonalds both i feel sick

#didnt say anything last time bc ok maybe theres a chance he didnt know but theres absolutely no way now bc people flooded his mentions back #its just so stupid to do this right after he waxes poetic about how important fans are to him #maybe you can even argue that him not drinking coffee or not eating a burger wont stop a genocide but its about solidarity #its about being a decent enough person to come out of your privileged bubble and be considerate of whats happening around the world #man of the people my ass im so mad like fuck you and your stupid fucking anarchy tattoo #like ok maybe someone from his team grabbed it for him but i refuse to believe he doesnt know a single thing about the boycott #he couldve left it and grabbed another coffee its $7 he wouldnt have died #im so annoyed ive been feeling annoyed at him since january and now this #refuses to say a word about it and then publicly shows up in the two biggest boycotted places are you joking #<- i wasnt even that iffy abiut him not saying anything i hate the idea of celebrities speaking out after we have to beg them #bc it just feels insincere at that point #but these two instance After his silence are so annoying god

[todayisafridaynight]

uhhh something something 'the only time a yakuza should laugh with his teeth is when he's with family or in trouble' something something arakawa gradually doing so more and more when hanging around jo something something Uh Oh™️

#arasawa #snap chats #DO WE GET WHAT I MEAN. #im not arguin semantics rn just listen to me im gripping you by the shoulders reader #it can go either way A.) arakawa gradually seeing jo as a part of his persoanl family opposed to The General Family #B.) you know how in fanfics theres that 'Oh. /Oh./' trope Yeah. i want big man to realize he's a lil doki doki for one of his guys #why the fuck i frame it like these arent in the same vein I CANNOT THINKKKKKK STRAAAIGHT #BUT NOOOO LISTEEENNNN i know bro would be SOOO conflicted. dare i say... he'd be in trouble SEE DO WE SEE WHAT IMEA #ok you can stop looking at me. im delirious. insane. delulu. its cause i cant draw rn its hard and my head hurts #ive been struggling with this idea for. WEEKS. i CANNOT find a way to make a comic out of it and its making me loco and mad #so im just throwing it out into the ether as Free Real Estate if anyone else wants a crack at it. or yk just so i can share it #LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING HERE I KNOW THERE IS I AM BRUSHING IT WITH MY FINGERTIPS BUT I CANNOT GRAB IT #you know it fuckin bad when i actually make a text post about it thats how you know Im At My Limit #driving me insane....... i just need everyone to know im rotating them like SSBB trophies.... #anyway. yeah youre right i still havent drawn shit #UUUGGGHHHHH should... or shold i sleep.... #let me try to force myself to sketch something and then ill run to my car and sleep there or somethin #idk. anyway bye i love the old people