#smile america say chuck e cheese

[stein-stimboards]

Smile America, say Chuck E. Cheese!

Pizza Time Theatre Chuck E. Cheese 🍕|🐀|🍕 🐀|🍕|🐀 🍕|🐀|🍕

#blocking everyone who says anything about them being scary /gen #did you know chuck e cheese is one of my special interests? #animatronics in general really but mostly cec #food and games and all kinds of creatures for a taste of pizza time theatre you can smile america smile america #smile america say chuck e cheese #stims #stim board #stimboard #autistic #sensory #sensory board #autism #actually autistic #stimming #stim #chuck e cheese #pizza time theatre #ptt chuck #animatronics #animatronic stim #animatronic arcade #food stims #drink stims #i love him so much #he's a silly funny rat who wants to entertain people !!!

[springbloggy]

Ice-e Chuck E. Cheese theory

Of course, my first theory of the new year is my most unhinged. Strap in, folks; this one is a doozy.

Many people tend to make the mistake that ICE-E's is a parody of the popular indie game series Five Nights at Freddy's. In all fairness, FNAF has possibly expanded the scope of cultural relevance beyond its inspiration. So tying ICE-E to the FNAF series isn't too out there or negative.

However, it is not a parody of FNAF; ICE-E's is a parody of Chuck E. Cheese's. Now most people do acknowledge this, but only leave it at that. However, after some time, I started to realize the ties to the real-life franchise could possibly go so much deeper than that. Under the cut is the most wild ride of real-world ties, in-universe clues, and other thoughts of ICE-E's, its bizarre characters, and how it could all tie together in the plot.

As a refresher for both, starting with ICE-E's. ICE-E's is a popular pizza chain brand within the Deltarune universe. It is described as being a hellscape for its workers. Bizarrely, the pizza chef in the restaurant is a buff version of its mascot, named "the warrior.".

The mascot is also depicted in a pain chart, which is showcased in Undertale's Word Search.

With specific FUN Values, a snowman character labeled "nightmare" will appear in this word search.

In chapter 1, Noelle reminisces on a memory where Kris told her that ICE-E "eats kids." There's also a story from the Spamton Sweepstakes on how Noelle saw the ICE-E pizza box wink at her, causing her sister to burn the box and Kris to help bury the remains at the cemetery.

So what does any of this creepypasta stuff have to do with a real-life children's pizza chain?

Well, first, let's describe what Chuck E. Cheese's is for those unaware of it. Chuck E. Cheese's is a franchise dedicated to selling pizza, having an arcade space for kids, and entertainment. For years, entertainment came in the form of an animatronic band. Over the years, however, this animatronic band went down to just one animatronic in certain restaurants, and now, in recent times, it has been replaced outright by a dance party with a performer in a Chuck E. mascot.

Even before FNAF, the animatronics were known as being slightly disturbing, mostly due to using cheaper materials than the ones that can be found at theme parks and a lack of maintenance. If properly maintained or given higher-quality animatronic parts, the animatronics are actually rather charming, but that's the exception and not the norm.

Naturally, children tend to spread rumors about the restaurant, which is why FNAF became so initially popular, as FNAF reflected a common bonded experience many children had (at least in America) since 1977.

OK, so you might be thinking, surely the tie to the brand and its rumors is it for ICE-E's, right? Oh boy. I wish that was it.

See, you ever wonder why it's called Chuck E. Cheese's? Well, a huge part of the reason why is because of "saying cheese." If you've taken a photo, you may be aware of the tactic of saying cheese to get a person to smile. This is because the word itself makes the mouth form in a smile-like state. Thus, saying Chuck E. Cheese would also make the mouth smile, which would tie it into happy memories of visiting the place. However, since most connotations of the chain are negative, saying Chuck E. Cheese causes a forced smile in a place that doesn't bring happiness to that person.

A forced smile, even when you are in pain.

But there's another connotation with Chuck E. that interested me.

The Purple Guy.

This guy first appears outside of ICE-E's, and Pizzapants makes an odd remark about how he may not even work there. Later on, he can be found in a suit with a briefcase in the town hall.

Lots of people believe he's a reference to FNAF's purple guy, a character often used to represent the killer of the children that would go on to possess the game's murderous animatronics. However, I have my own connections that I think make more sense within Deltarune. To differentiate from FNAF, I will just call this character ICE-P (the p being short for purple) in the below theory.

Meet Mr. Munch.

Mr. Munch is an animatronic character featured in the Chuck E. Cheese band. He is a purple, fuzzy monster with a yellow belly.

I believe that ICE-P is the in-universe equivalent of the Mr. Munch animatronic. Like Mr. Munch, ICE-P is a purple monster with a different-colored belly. ICE-P's "skin" seems to be made of fabric, with an orange patch right on his leg, which would match up with him being a former animatronic at this restaurant.

So how did he get here, and why doesn't anyone recognize him from the restaurant if he is a former animatronic? Well, like real-life Chuck E. Cheeses, I believe all the ICE-E animatronics were tossed away due to cost and potentially scaring children. I think the ICE-E animatronic purge could have happened long before Chuck E. started doing it, maybe even during the formative years of the ICE-E brand, which could explain why Kris' Hometown ICE-E's doesn't have any room for an animatronic stage. It was constructed after the decision to eliminate them was already in place.

During this toss of animatronics, ICE-P managed to somehow escape total destruction, which is against the rules of Chuck E. Cheese's code, and this game shows the creepypasta rumor hypothetical of the consequences of breaking said rule.

ICE-P would gain life in the dark world, becoming yet another discarded item, bitter against the lightners. There, he would be given a special item: a shadow crystal.

If this theory is correct, ICE-P would fit right in with the superbosses, not only is he a discarded object, but being an animatronic would fit within the reoccurring motif of lack of control. Animatronics are programmed to repeat the same movements, songs, and pieces of dialogue for years. Maybe that's why every time Kris encounters ICE-P he repeats the same phrase, "Ice me up!" A cheesy catchphrase given to a forgotten mascot.

Anyway, unlike the other Darkners that were given shadow crystals, ICE-P managed to find a way back into the light world with a physical form. Maybe through the fact that he is an animatronic figure rather than an abstract idea or a toy. This leads to ICE-E's becoming a light world anomaly due to the interference of a darkner in, near, or associated with a place where he shouldn't be.

There, in the light world, ICE-P begins to get ready, putting his shadow crystal in a suitcase in order to present it to the Mayor, allowing the first step in a total dark world takeover.

So far, you may be thinking, "Well, this is well and good, Springy, but why Mr. Munch and not the character of Chuck E. Cheese himself? Wouldn't this theory work just as well with him? Yes, it would; however, I think making the distinctness of ICE-P being inspired by Mr. Munch makes his hypothetical backstory much more impactful.

Think about it, Mr. Munch is a side character who, if not entered in a Chuck E. Cheese location, most people wouldn't know about. He isn't prominently featured in advertising and wasn't included at all in Chuck E. Cheese's most iconic ad campaign.

Not to mention that the chances of even encountering Mr. Munch in a restaurant has become way lower, not only with the creation of "Studio C.", a version of the restaurants with only one animatronic, but also with the modern dance parties. Even if children entered a restaurant with Mr. Munch, they were mostly going to forget him or mistake him for a pre-existing mascot (Grimace anyone?)

So put yourself in this hypothetical version of ICE-P's shoes. Not only is he a haphazardly thrown away animatronic, forced to be programmed to "sing" pre-recorded songs for who knows how long, but he also had to play second fiddle to a much more popular and well remembered main character: ICE-E. The fact his face looks nearly identical to ICE-E's probably doesn't help matters, and could be an indicator he was built incredibly cheaply. All this can accumulate to the bitterness needed for ICE-P, which ultimately motivates his revenge scheme.

Heck, maybe Toby calling ICE-P "purple guy" really is meant to draw in the FNAF comparisons. After all, in the FNAF series, what is Purple Guy's favorite costume to lure children with? The answer is Springbonnie: a forgotten side character from the in-universe Freddy's past.

Heck, ICE-P being a side character could also fit in with what we have seen about Kris' home life, where Asriel has all the trophies and recognition but Kris doesn't.

Of course, there's an alternative theory I'd like to propose if this is still too far out there.

Mascot Theory

ICE-P could easily be designed after the most infamously hated mascot costume of all time.

Barney the Dinosaur. Not only does ICE-P have Barney's same color scheme, but he also has the same fabric "skin" and, uh, thickness.

For those unaware, Barney was a preschool show about a toy purple dinosaur that comes to life via the imagination of the children around him.

This fits really nice and snugly already with the imagination theme of the dark worlds and could provide an answer to how ICE-P managed to find himself in the light world. Through the power of children imagining/believing that ICE-E was a real cryptid.

The real world perception of Barney also fits the themes of the dark worlds as well. Despite its popularity, the majority of people hated Barney. Parents hated the show because it talked down to kids, and kids hated the show because they felt Barney was babyish. Many kids from the eras when Barney aired had their own violent parody of the show's theme song, "I love you".

Here's the version I remember being spread around at my school:

I hate you, you hate me Let's go kill Barney With an AK-47 and a couple of bombs Won't you help me kill them all?

Now what does Barney have to do with Chuck E. Cheese's? Well, if you've ever seen a parody of Chuck E.'s on TV, what is the mascot doing?

Usually there's either an employee who is apathetic about the job or the performer is being pummeled by children. Of course, this probably isn't too likely in real life, but the trope is widespread enough to be in the public consciousness.

So ICE-P could have been an old mascot costume thrown away after taking many beatings from children who disliked him and replaced by a more on-model version of ICE-E or a redesign of the character meant to make it cooler for kids.

But there's another factor that makes the mascot theory extra convincing. ICE-E as shown in the pain chart, has a static smile on his face that can't be removed even when he is in great amount of pain. While this could also work under animatronic theory, it is more fitting to have the old, worn-out mascot suit's defining feature and one of the motives be that he can't change his expression.

So under this theory, ICE-P will have a couple of things going for the superboss lack of control motif. First, he can't control his own expression. Second, by virtue of being a costumed character, he couldn't control his own movements. And third, if ICE-P truly comes to life through the imaginations of terrified children, it's possible he still can't control his own actions even after he stopped being a suit.

Which could mean...

ICE-E Eats Kids

Remember when I mentioned the story of how Kris told Noelle that ICE-E eats kids?

Well, what if Kris really did see ICE-E (aka ICE-P) eat a kid? Just not in the way you'd think.

There's no real elegant way to phrase my line of thought, so here's a recreation of what may have happened below.

The Catchphrase

When Kris types in what appears on the word search, Susie remarks this.

This is strange and scary for a children's mascot, even for ICE-E standards, it is a bit odd.

Well, if animatronic or mascot ICE-P theories are correct, that's because giasfclfubrehber isn't ICE-E's true catchphrase, his true catchphrase is the much more cheesy "Ice me up!"

So what is happening here? Well, what Susie describes seems to be a seizure or some other spasm caused by ICE-E trying to say some sort of forbidden word...

...maybe even the forbidden name...

…of the person who made him this way.

ICE-E and Snowgrave

Let's go back to this snowman.

Now, given the text "nightmare", the massive influence of ICE-E's in Deltarune, and the fact he's a snowman, I think this has more to do with Snowgrave than the snowy setting of Snowdin where the word search can be found.

But how does ICE-E's fit in Snowgrave? Well, I have a theory about that as well.

In 2020, there was a viral rumor spreading around that Chuck E. Cheese's recycled pizza off of customers' tables to use at future parties. The truth was a lot more mundane. Chuck E. Cheese's pre-cuts slices, puts them in the freezer, and then cooks them later.

This is important because it establishes a common technique found at restaurants: using a freezer, which could mean that one of the areas in ICE-E's is also a freezer.

Assuming an ICE-E's dark world, part of the joke in neutral routes is that ICE-E's has an absurdly large freezer space, a bit too much for what is needed and impossible to actually fit in the small area. Kinda like Dr. Who's Tardis (or at least that's how I understand it, judging by countless tvtropes WMGs).

But in Snowgrave, this area becomes much more sinister, as the large freezer space becomes the perfect place to make Noelle's Snowgrave spell much more powerful and potent due to the cold.

Plus, it could tie into a popular saying: "A cold day in Hell". ICE-E's is described as a hellscape to work in, and the freezer is cold. So luring Noelle to the freezer, in a place that's already hellish, would be a literal cold day in Hell. Maybe, like Spamton in the Snowgrave route, ICE-E's freezer is another location that Noelle isn't supposed to visit in the normal route.

This would also make ICE-P one of the most important superbosses in the game since his location would be tied to Noelle's increasing power. Heck, I might even make the case that he could easily be the final superboss, due to his reocurring appearance in all the chapters so far.

Sinister Foreshadowing in Pizza Dough?

This is the most stretchy part of this theory, but given everything else about this theory, putting this connection is fine enough.

In ICE-E's there's a lump of pizza dough on the counter with sauce just pouring out of it.

To me, this dough kinda resembles a slumped over body with blood pouring out of it. I know it's dark, but I am pretty sure this has been an observation someone else has made at least once.

Perhaps, this dough is actually foreshadowing to a future character's death or crippling injury. If I had to guess, it would probably take place in the dark world and might even be assigned to a major character.

If I had to guess who...well, there's only one character that has shown to be canonically dead in the Undertale universe so far, and that's Rudy.

Of course, dough could represent anyone in the game that can bleed, which extends to Darkner characters. So there's really no way to know for sure.

How ICE-E fits in the escapism trend

So far, every chapter has tied into themes of escapism. Chapter 1 is escapism with toys; Chapter 2 is escapism with technology; and Chapter 3 is shaping up to be escapism with television.

If ICE-E's really is a parallel to Chuck E. Cheese's there are a variety of things it could represent. I personally believe the most fitting is escapism with children's media, a trend with ever-increasing popularity. Returning to old childhood memories with an adult lens. However, the poor "hellish" working conditions and kids getting nightmares from the character rather than joy could showcase the darker side of children's media and how it affects its viewers and workers.

Alternatively, ICE-E could be focused on escapism via food—cooking food, eating food, whatever. An unhealthy habit if done excessively. ICE-E/P "Eating kids" would be the symbolic representation of unhealthy eating.

There's also the arcade and slides aspect of Chuck E. Cheese's, which could represent either escapism through video games or escapism through cheap thrills. This is the weakest tie, but it wouldn't be too surprising to see either.

TLDR; ICE-E's is based on old Chuck E. Cheese rumors. The "purple guy" is either a bitter, thrown away side character animatronic or a bitter old mascot costume that somehow managed to exit the dark world. Purple Guy is a superboss trying to get the mayor's attention in order to let the dark world take over. Giasfclfubrehber isn't ICE-E's cathphrase, but rather him trying and failing to say a forbidden name. ICE-E's freezer is an important place where Noelle's Snowgrave spell will become more powerful. The pizza dough pouring out sauce on the counter might foreshadow a future character death or injury.

#deltarune #deltarune theory #deltarune secret boss #deltarune secret boss theory #utdr theory #undertale theory #undertale meta #undertale #ice-e #ice e #springy thoughts #Youtube #long post

[ixirian-archive]

smile, america!

say "chuck e cheese!"

#chuck e cheese #pizza time theatre #animatronics #irl animatronics #fanart #animatronic fanart #animatronic #animatronic art #avenger chuck e #chuck e #avenger era #avenger era chuck e cheese #80s #90s

[webcorewoozle]

Smile America, say Chuck E Cheese!

Some fanart I made! Been wanting to draw Tux Chuck for a while!

#1990s #90s #nostalgia #CEC #chuck e cheese #tux chuck

[echollama]

A Sketch A Day 10-04-2022

Smile America say Chuck E Cheese~ 😁😁😁

#echoart #horror #daily sketch #damn i want pizzaza now

[jadefox97]

I'm tired of pretending that my grandpa was a saint. He was an absolutely horrible person.

I (26, NB) have taken quite a long time to get over my grandpa's passing away back in 2015. And as of last year, I have come to terms with it. As of this year, I have also come to terms that he was an abusive, controlling, narcissistic, manipulative piece of shit.

My grandpa used to spank me for every little thing that made him mad, even if I didn't know that what I was doing was wrong. The only reason he stopped spanking me was because I eventually grew stronger with time, and his strength faded with age.

My grandpa was severely homophobic. He would go into these fits of rage every time he saw any LGBTQIA+ person on TV, and rant about how they were ruining America. He even made fun of my grandma for watching "Ellen", because Ellen was a lesbian, which prompted my grandma to not watch the show anymore. It was also said that the last time he saw his youngest brother, my grandpa got into a big fight with his youngest brother, because he had come out as gay shortly after their father died. He also threatened to shoot me if I ever came out as LGBTQIA+ when I was 11. Because of this (and my grandma's being a bible thumper, since my grandpa was an atheist), I don't plan on coming out as bisexual until after my grandma dies.

My grandpa was also VERY racist. When I was 6, I had picked up some Spanish from watching "Dora the Explorer", and from playing with other kids my age, who grew up in Spanish-speaking households. When we went to this Mexican buffet, I told the waitress "Thank you" in Spanish, and she actually had a big smile on her face when I thanked her in Spanish. My grandpa was really red in the face. He bent down to my level and whispered aggressively, "Young lady, we do NOT speak Spanish here. This is America. And here in America, we speak ENGLISH. I don't want to hear another word of Spanish come out of your stupid little mouth again." Suffice to say, I've had a tougher time learning Spanish than I did with Japanese.

My grandpa used to look at pretty girls on TV like a lecher. And then every time a gorilla walked on TV on the science channel, he'd point at it and be like, "Hey, look. It's your grandma."

When I was 6, I got into big trouble for bringing an imaginary friend to school. He ended up spanking me for it, and throwing away my favorite VCR tape as a punishment. And then when I was 8, I got spanked for singing "Pancakes, pancakes, eat 'em with a fork" on the school bus.

When I was 6, he yelled at me for telling a boy at Vacation Bible School that I had a big crush on that I wanted to marry him, and embarrassing the boy in the process. He told me off for being "stupid", and that if I did that again, I would be severely punished. This is why I only had 2 crushes during my teen years, and I can't bring up the courage to confess any feelings as an adult.

My grandpa wouldn't let me eat anything with a cartoon mascot when I was growing up, because "only spoiled brats eat those". (He was also diabetic due to the Agent Orange killing his pancreas, so I wasn't allowed to eat anything sugary or anything that appeared in a commercial during a Saturday morning cartoon.) Hence why I have wasted every dollar on any food with a cartoon mascot as an adult, and on Chuck E. Cheese's.

My grandpa often scolded me for getting any B's on my report card, claiming, "You could have gotten all A-pluses. You just don't try hard enough." And when I struggled with math, he'd get mad at me and be all, "This is what happens when you don't pay attention in school, and play stupid games on your stupid Game Boy all day." (I had a PS2 when I was a kid.)

At one point, when I was adamant about not helping him mix the concrete or starting a brush fire, proclaiming, "I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE!" He actually got super pissed, and yelled "GO GET FAT!" while kicking my butt to where I got knocked on the ground. That was the last time he laid his hands on me.

When my grandpa died, I was already living with my dad, who had taken full custody of me the year before. And living with my dad was just as hellish as living with my grandparents.

At first, I'd go into big bouts of depression, because I missed him greatly, and because my grandma was super miserable without him. But over time, and especially this year, I eventually came to my senses, and realized that my grandpa was an abusive prick, and that my grandma was just as bad for allowing him to abuse me like he did, just because it was "how he was raised".

Coming to those terms has brought me a lot of peace of mind, and has strengthened my resolve to move out as soon as possible.

As soon as I move out of my uncle and aunt's place, and get my cat from my grandma, I'm going limited contact with her, keeping in contact only through Facebook messenger, and only visiting twice a year, such as for Christmas and the Family Reunion held every second Sunday of July.

#narcissistic grandparents #narcissistic grandpa #childhood #abusive grandpa #history #sad but true

[offbrandhange]

Wedding Day ! | 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

Fluff & NSFW headcanons on your wedding day/night with some of the AOT boys!

! Slight NSFW !

Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of sex, pregnancy. Fem ! reader.

Majority of this is fluff, but there are mentions of !BEEP! sooo yeah.

Characters: Armin, Eren, Erwin, Jean, Levi

a/n: I have to take my SAT tomorrow, please wish your girl good luck for those sweet, sweet good grades....

𝕬𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓 𝕬𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖙 ~

Helps you plan the wedding and possibly loves it even more than you do. He’s a sucker for quality time. 

Armin would prefer a small or medium-sized wedding. If you want a large wedding though, there’s no way he’s holding you back from having it. 

100% a beach wedding. No doubt.

The venue is BEAUTIFUL. Spent countless nights researching and visiting places to make sure you got the best.

Eren is chosen as the best man, although Armin feels guilty for having to pick only one out of all his friends.

On the day of the wedding, Armin is a panicking mess. Eren and Jean literally have to give him a pep talk before he goes to stand at the alter.

Practiced deep breathing techniques before the wedding. Unfortunately, they aren’t working.

When you finally walk down the isle, Armin starts crying softly. Eren put his hand on his shoulder to comfort him......which just made him sob harder. He cried multiple times during the wedding.

Your wedding rings are the set his grandfather and grandmother shared :’)

Specifically told the bartender not to serve Connie and Sasha more than 3 drinks. He doesn’t trust them making their own alcohol-related decisions at his wedding.

Armin isn’t a dancer but....he practiced how to slow dance just for you.

Shy at first when it comes to the more fast-paced dancing, but Jean coaxes him into it, and he ends up having a lot of fun.

The speeches are so nice!!! But mostly because Armin asked Mikasa to read them over before hand to make sure they were okay.

After the wedding ends and everyone has left, you and Armin sit and watch the waves at night.

NSFW below !

The beach was reserved...meaning it is now completely deserted. I am now politely reminding you, Armin is not a saint. Honeymoon sex on the beach, anybody?

The sex is slow and sweet; he takes his time with you and kisses you all over. It’s 100% the definition of, “making love.”

If you’re down for a kid right now, Armin’s down for a kid right now. He WILL try for a baby with you if it’s what you want.

After you made a mess of yourselves in the sand...Armin would probably let you sleep for a little bit as he watched the waves. He doesn’t want it to end yet.

When he’s finally content, he would carry you back to the hotel, trying not to wake you.

Super considerate dusting the sand off you, and then tucking you in bed. He’s totally cuddling you to sleep, too.

𝕰𝖗𝖊𝖓 𝕵𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖗 ~

Pretty much gives you full control of the wedding planning; he only has a few requests.

Eren would be the type of dude to invite friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends. Your wedding is gonna be packed.

Has no idea what kind of wedding he prefers.

Please, god, don’t let him pick the venue. He will go to the first one, look around, and go, “Yeah, this is pretty nice.” That’s how you’ll end up getting married at an AirBNB with a nice backyard hidden behind the local Walmart.

Doesn’t know if he should make Armin or Zeke the best man, so he flips a coin to decide. It landed on Armin, and from that day on, Zeke was super salty.

Tries to convince you to try on the wedding dress/suit the day before. He can’t sleep that night because he’s so keyed up thinking about how pretty you’ll look.

On the day of the wedding, he’s super fucking ecstatic and practically bouncing all over the place.

Eren would get kind of impatient when waiting at the isle, to the point it would annoy the groomsmen. Jean came so close to saying something but was thankfully stopped by Armin.

When you finally walk down the isle, he’s BEAMING. He tears up a little bit out of happiness, but nothing too extreme.

Armin had to help him pick out the wedding rings otherwise you would’ve ended up with one of those plastic spider rings you win at Chuck e. Cheese’s.

Eren gets so fucking drunk you’re worried you might have to carry him back to the room by the end of the night.

Jean literally nit-picks everything Eren does the whole night....which almost ends up resulting in a drunken bar fight...at your wedding. It ends up fine, though, because Levi and Mikasa step in as bodyguards.

You SWEAR Mikasa is giving you dirty looks. Likewise, Eren SWEARS he’s getting dirty looks from Levi.

He does alright slow-dancing, but is so tipsy and distracted by how attractive you are to him, he’s kinda just....trying his best.

Absolutely OBLITERATES the dance floor when the fast-paced songs come on...

WILD assortment of speeches. Mikasa is crying, Armin’s reading a poem, Floch’s trying to get you to join his cult, Zeke is crying......and Eren is sitting there like, “Is this almost over.” You’d think it was America’s got talent, or something.

When the wedding ends, he 100% drags you to your favorite fast-food restaurant. Still in your wedding attire. Seriously, this dude is crazy, but he’s fun.

NSFW below !

When you get back to the hotel, he lets you eat your food--and then he fucks the shit out of you.

Way, way, way more rough than usual; super passionate sex. Multiple rounds, too. You don’t even KNOW how he has this much stamina by the end of the night.

Not even TRYING to get you pregnant, but his dumbass probably accidentally would.

Good luck trying to walk tomorrow!!!

When he’s finally tired, he is GONE. Like, you could scream bloody-murder and he still wouldn’t wake up.

𝕰𝖗𝖜𝖎𝖓 𝕾𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖍 ~

You can TRY and take that wedding planner from Erwin--the only way he’d give it to you is if you pried it from his cold, dead hand(s).

Tells people he’s married MONTHS before the wedding.

Everyone.....and I mean EVERYONE.....knows you’re getting married. he will walk up to strangers and brag about you.

Erwin invites everyone he sees. Elderly woman crossing the street? Invited. Barista at the coffee shop? Invited. Guy on the bus who offered him a seat? Invited.

All those people attend the wedding, too. Why? Everyone knows and loves Erwin. So when your wedding is literally PACKED with people you have never seen before--you’re only slightly surprised.

You know those reality shows where they have HUGE, expensive weddings? Your wedding would put theirs to shame. Erwin goes ALL OUT.

The venue? A literal castle. How did he manage to book and afford a castle? Don’t question it.

Your wedding dress doesn’t have a budget. Seriously, your wedding is crazy expensive--and straight out of a fairy tale.

You’re pretty sure Levi made himself the best man--and Erwin was fine with it.

Is super excited on the day of the wedding. He knows it’s going to be perfect; he got his eyebrows done just for the occasion.

When you walk down that isle his smile is SO BRIGHT. he is SHINING.

Yeah, those wedding rings? Imported from Italy, plastered with giant, real, diamonds. You will never be able to say Erwin doesn’t spoil you.

Pretty chill wedding, nothing’s too rowdy and everyone’s still having a good time.

Whispers sweet nothings and tells you how happy he is the whole night. He can’t go five minutes without saying, “I love you.”

Just TRY to get him to stop holding your hand; he won’t.

Erwin is so good at slow-dancing??? And he’s so careful with you, too. 100% the one in the lead, but he’s spinning and dipping you so sweetly. Not to mention the way he’s looking at you...

He’s a serious guy a lot of the time, but I honest to god believe in the sweetest way possible, you would genuinely have a really fun time fast-pace dancing with him. You would both be laughing at each other’s moves.

Majority of the speeches are super nice. Hange tried to get Levi to say something, brought him up to the stage and....he starred at the crowd for a couple awkward seconds, then walked off. He conveyed his message through his eyes, I guess?

The wedding is so long you weren’t sure it was ever going to end...

Hotel? Nah he booked that castle, that’s where you’re spending the night...

NSFW below !

You’re fucking in the king bed tonight baby, literally.

Pays attention to your needs/wants the WHOLE NIGHT. Seriously, he’s a soft dom, and makes sure you’re more than satisfied.

Tons of body worship?? He’s so sweet and careful with you.

Erwin secretly really, really wants to give you his babies and start a family with you on the honeymoon. If you’re willing, he will make sure he gets you pregnant; you’re getting no sleep.

After you’re done, he will run you two a bath and clean you off. He adds in a little bonus massage, too.

When you get in bed, he pets your head, cuddling you until you fall asleep. You could’ve sworn you saw him smiling before you drifted off to sleep.

𝕵𝖊𝖆𝖓 𝕶𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓 ~

Jean would definitely help you plan the wedding--he values romance a lot, so having the perfect wedding for him and you, is important. He also doesn’t want to put all the weight on you.

Brags to his friends that he’s getting married--they all get tired of hearing about it.

Normal sized wedding--not too many, but not small, either. Lots of family and friends.

The venue is at a barn. Yes, he picked a barn. it’s a nice venue, too; the only problem is that he’s not going to be able to escape those horse jokes.

Marco is chosen as the best man--and when Connie hears about it, he sulks for a few days. He gets over it eventually, though.

He’s kind of nervous the day of--but Marco reassures him and teaches his some deep-breathing techniques.

Keeps his cool until he goes to stand at the alter--and then he’s in full-blown panic mode. “What if I can’t make her happy?” “What if she runs away with Eren?” meanwhile, Eren is standing right there with the other groomsmen, like “wtf?”

When you walk down the isle--he’s super overwhelmed. He feels a huge sense of relief you didn’t ditch him and run away, but also metaphorically hit by a semi-truck of emotions since he realized he’s ACTUALLY getting married. There’s a little bit of happy crying.

His mom picked out your wedding rings; you only find out when she brags about it--and Jean yells at her for telling you.

His wedding gift to you is a giant portrait he drew of you--and on the back, there’s a message in French. He won’t tell you what it says, but you’re pretty sure it’s an oath to love and protect you ‘till the day he dies.

He does pretty well slow-dancing. His mom also mentions he begged her to practice with him so he didn’t mess up.

He’s a little worried about making himself look like a fool dancing in front of you--but for you, he does it anyways; You both laugh your asses off and have a lot of fun.

The speeches make Jean look like he wants to drop dead from embarrassment. He’s not sure what’s worse--Connie and Sasha doing karaoke, Eren making horse jokes, or his mom telling all of his embarrassing baby stories.

After everyone leaves, Jean takes you to look at the animals before you leave, too.

NSFW below !

 As for honeymoon sex; you better not make a horse joke, otherwise you’re getting laid in that fucking barn. Maybe. He threatens that, but you know he wouldn’t want to have sex there on your wedding night. He’s 100% down for another time, though.

A mix of rough and sweet at the same time--he does the right things at the right times.

Is a lot more passionate and soft than usual--very careful with your body, and makes sure to really take everything in; He wants to remember the night for as long as he lives.

Immaculate aftercare; and on top of that, he lets you fall asleep in his arms, occasionally kissing your forehead.

Bonus: he sings you to sleep.

𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎 𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓 ~

Lets you plan the wedding, but looks it over and makes sure there’s nothing too crazy happening. He, somehow, is worried you’re going to plan a circus or something else ridiculous to show up.

No one knows you’re getting married until the envelopes are mailed to family and friends. In fact, some people didn’t even know you were together.

Pretty small wedding, it’s mostly people who are very close to you two. It has a very homey-feel.

The venue HAS to be indoors. Levi thinks an outdoor wedding is unsanitary--so you end up getting married in a banquet hall.

Erwin is 1000% the best man. You don’t even have to ask, you already know it’s going to be Erwin.

Is literally shaking and sweating his ass off he’s so nervous the day of the wedding--if anyone asks, though, he swears he is fine. Has no idea it’s completely obvious he’s on the verge of absolutely freaking out.

Erwin and Hange try to get him to relax--but he continues to deny that he is in fact, NOT calm.

When you walk down the isle and he makes eye contact with you--his brain short-circuits. His mind literally stops working and is constantly repeating, “p...p...pre....pretty..” the whole damn time.

Mentally saves the image of you in your dress/suit to use as his motivation to always come home to you.

Tries to remain expressionless, but is literally tomato-red and on the verge of crying; he never thought he’d be able to find happiness--it feels like everything is finally going to be okay. Erwin is smiling like a proud dad, and Hange is trying to suppress their amazement that the dude’s showing emotion.

Your wedding rings are fairly plain--but on the inside of the bands, both of your names are etched.

He won’t read the vows out loud, he simply hands you a letter and tells you to read it another time.

When the time comes to kiss--Levi literally hides behind you and shyly pulls you in. The view the audience gets is your back--and they aren’t sure whether to clap or not.

Your wedding gift to him was a giant assortment of different teas--and he genuinely seemed really excited to try them. He didn’t realize it, but when he mentioned tasting them, he said, “with you” at the end.

Has no idea how to slow dance. Erwin tried to help him, but it didn’t do much, so you teach him on the spot. Your first dance, he concentrates really hard on not messing up, eyebrows furrowed and all.

Doesn’t know how to dance fast-pace either, in fact, he’s pretty confused. You have to grab the man and force him out of his comfort zone, spinning him and all. Hange and the Survey Corp members are laughing their ass off at his bewildered face.

The speeches went pretty well--except for when Hange didn’t stop talking; Levi threatened to force them off the stage, and you don’t think he was joking.

The wedding was fairly short--but only because Levi rushed everyone home; he just wanted to drag you off and keep you to himself for the rest of the day.

After the wedding, he takes you to a spot nearby to watch the sunset. He has a soft smile, and you can tell he’s genuinely happy.

You take HIM back to the hotel--he would’ve been fine staying there just a little longer, in the peace of it all.

NSFW below !

You’re literally taking his virginity. He saved himself for marriage; he wanted to make sure he gave himself to the right person.

Very nervous--and kind of insecure, too. He isn’t sure what you’ll think of him, and he’s worried about you seeing his scars. He STILL isn’t completely convinced you really want him.

Lots of body worship and reassuring him; he melts at your touch.

Once he gets comfortable and into it, he repeats “I love you” a lot.

He doesn’t last very long...but keeps going until you get off, too. He’s still a little confused by everything, so you have to teach him.

He’s half asleep after cumming--but still insists the two of you need to get in the shower.

Was too tired to stand, so you took a bath together instead. He falls asleep, leaning on you, when you massage his head.

You end up being unable to wake him up--the man is dead tired from not only sleep deprivation, the long day, but also his first time.

You can’t get him out of the bathtub, either--he’s too bulky to lift. You expected him to be much lighter due to his height, but his muscle makes him a lot more heavy.

Hange and Erwin have to be called to haul his ass--naked--out of the tub and into the bed. Hange is of no help since they’re laughing so hard--and Erwin is helping, but trying so hard not to break face and laugh too.

After they leave, you cover him up and cuddle into his frame; you could swear you heard a quiet, “thank you.”

#levi #levi ackerman #levi ackerman headcannon #levi ackerman headcanons #levi x reader #eren #eren jaeger #eren headcanons #eren x reader #eren jeager fluff #eren jeager headcanons #eren jeager x reader #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschtein scenarios #erwin smith #erwin smith headcanons #armin headcanons #armin arlet headcanons #armin arlet fluff #armin arlet x reader #levi fluff #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk imagines #aot imagines #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #levi headcanons #armin x reader

[holistic-fandoms]

the Dream SMP as stupid shit me and my friends say

Dream, sending a video of a "cum demon" aka a clip of someone making a massive Coke & mint pilar: Us when we meet up

Sapnap: Are we the cum demon or the ones summoning the cum demon?

George: Uh, I assumed we’d want to sumon the cum demon, but if the cum demon is already here, then would you like to come forward about it?

Wilbur: No we all collectively make up the cum demon. We fuse together to make the cum demon.

Fundy: I hate this conversation and I need you guys to know that

Dream: Why don't you want to fuse to become the cum demon?

Fundy: I don't want to make the cum demon!

Dream: WHY NOT

Fundy: I FEEL PEER PRESSURED

Wilbur: It's not peer pressure, what you feel is the calling from within to become the cum demon

Sapnap: Wait. if we make up the cum demon, then how does it look?

Dream: It looks like a white blob of cum but with a strange, jello like texture. It has all of our eyes at the front and all of our mouths together which make a horrifying smile

Dream: I regret starting this

.............................

Techno: Everytime I get bullied for eating cucumbers like apples I will eat another cucumber like an apple

Tubbo: I've never had a cucumber :(

Tommy: The only invalid thing about that is that cucumbers are a boring fucking vegetable and they are like 90% water and they have no flavor and suck

Dream: Fuck you, cucumbers are tasty. I bet you like green beans, talk about a terrible vegetable

Tubbo: Cucumbers are baby cacti :)

Tommy: Jokes on you, I don't like any vegetables.

Wilbur: He's lying, he likes lots of vegetables

Sapnap: I don't like any green vegetables. Not by choice, that's just the way I am. Spinach kinda slaps though.

Bad: Spinach is tasty! Spinach ravioli.

Quackity: I eat that spinach shit like uh. Fuck. I just eat raw spinach ok?

Tubbo: Popeye?

Tommy: Popeye ate canned spinach, research your fucking Popeye lore.

Tubbo: Raw popeye

Dream: That's what I'm trying to do, my friend. that's what I'm trying to do.

George: And that's my queue to leave!

Tommy: I only spell queue like q because the 4 extra letters are stupid.

Sapnap: Are we brushing over the fact that Dream is trying to raw popeye?

...............................

Warning! This segment contains slurs, all of which me and my friends can reclaim. If it makes you uncomforable, please just scroll past it, and I will be replacing the slurs we said with [x slur]

Eret: Creepypasta- I went to Chuck E Cheese for my son's birthday and the rat called me a [f slur]

Niki: That's just my lore

George: Niki deep lore?

Fundy: But that's just a theory, a Game Theory

Niki: Creepypasta- I met MatPat and tried to give him a hug and all he said is “my game theory is that you’re a [d slur]”

Dream: creepypasta- MatPat was dressed as Charles Entertainment Cheese and he called me a [k slur]

......................

Fundy: I publicly gave a username and password so a bunch of people could join an account and immediately they posted someone's nudes and then blocked me out of my own account

Tommy: okay but why the fuck would you do that

Fundy: It seemed like a good idea at the time!

Tommy: when will you learn. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. T H A T Y O U R A C T I O N S H A V E C O N S E Q U E N C E S.

Fundy: stop yelling at me I'm baby!

.............................

Dream: There's 2 things in life I like more than anything: Respecting women and kissing men. And there's no women here.

.............................

Tubbo, upon seeing a butterfly: Bird!

Wilbur: this is the exact opposite of the "is this a pidgeon" meme

...................

Schlatt at 4am: There's 5 hot horny men in my area, but only one can become America's Next Top Model

Tommy: what the fuck are you talking about

Fundy: no. let him finish.

............................

Dream: Hey so if one drop of holy water makes the entire body of water holy, I could add a drop of holy water to the ocean and because of the water cycle it would eventually get all over the world, and then demons wouldn't be able to do shit because if it rained or someone spilled water on them they'd die. I've essentially foiled Judgement Day, so you can thank me later.

George: What... are you talking about.

Dream: I have no idea I'm not Christian

(sorry if this is kinda ooc or if I forgot anyone my brain is the size of an avocdo pit and just as smooth)

#dteam #dreamwastaken #dream team #tubbo #tommyinnit #fundy #wilbur smp #wilbursoot #sapnap #dream smp #dsmp #technoblade #badboyhalo #quackity #eret dsmp

[ericsonclan]

Where A Kid Can Be A Kid

Summary: Violet is stuck on thoughts about a bad day of school until Louis texts her and asks if she wants to hang out.

Word Count: 4047

Read on AO3:

Shit. Today really sucked. Violet frowned deeply as she strolled home. She didn’t feel like going home today. School was always a pain in the ass but today was just worse. Marlon couldn’t hang out during lunch period and for some reason it felt like the teachers all had their focus on her, asking her all the questions that she didn’t fucking know the answers to. Violet shifted the backpack on her back filled with assignments she wasn’t sure if she’d do or not. She hated most of her classes.

Then again if she flaked out on doing most of her assignments over the weekend, she’d be stuck in the trailer. Her dad usually spent most of his time there over the weekend and whenever he was there he tended to reek of alcohol. He’d be there and Violet would be stuck with him while she caught up on homework assignments she had no idea how would help her in the future. It wasn’t like she was going to be the next great scientist or go on to help shape the young minds of America. She was just going to get by like she always did.

Violet grumbled to herself and angrily kicked a rock. At least school was over for the week. That was the silver lining in this shitty day. Violet gave a tired sigh; all she wanted to do was forget this whole day even happened. All of a sudden her phone chimed, causing her to pause in her tracks and stopping her from kicking another stone. Rummaging around in her hoodie pocket, Violet pulled out her old flip phone to check who it was. Knowing her own social habits, Violet already had a pretty good guess: it was probably Louis.

She was right.

Chuck E Cheese?  

Violet stared at the text with a soft smile on her lips. Finally something good. Quickly she sent back a reply.

Olive street. 20 minutes.

Violet was about to head over there but froze when a realization hit her. It would probably be best to drop off her backpack at home. She didn’t want it getting in the way or have to worry about forgetting it. Besides, she was nearly at the trailer park.

Violet dug her heels into the ground and began to sprint home. Her old sneakers picked up more dirt and wear and tear as she weaved through streets along the way before reaching the front door of the trailer. She took a second to catch her breath and calm down, The last thing she wanted to deal with was her dad.

Quietly Violet opened the door, hoping that her dad wasn’t home. It only took a second for her heart to drop when she saw him on his chair. He was here. Shit. Violet wondered what the best course of action was as she silently closed the door. That was when she noticed that he was fast asleep on the chair, an empty bottle of beer dangling in the loose grip of his right hand.

Violet gave a shaky sigh of relief as she gently placed down her bag. Tiptoeing into her room, she opened an old book of constellations that she had never bothered to return to the library. Within the back few pages was some money she had saved for a shitty day. Violet smiled and snatched up the money, pocketing it before heading out.

Louis gave a long, dramatic sigh as he walked up to his room. Falling face first onto his bed, he let all the day’s thoughts sink in. This week had been so boring. Sure, school was always a mixed bag but even all his favorite classes had covered things he didn’t care about. On top of that he hadn’t seen his friends all week. He missed Marlon and their joke offs together, Mitch and his chaotic fun and Violet and her iconic full body eyerolls.

Reaching around blindly while his face was still smushed against the bed, Louis searched for his phone. His fingers brushed across a pencil and a few music sheet papers with songs he was writing before he found it. Yoinking it, Louis opened his messages and immediately selected Violet’s contact name before sending a simple text.

Chuck E Cheese?

He threw his phone down and groaned as he draped himself over his bed more, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for a response. It felt like forever when in reality only a few seconds had passed before his phone dinged. Violet’s responses were as quick as ever. Holding the phone up above his head, Louis read the message.

Olive street. 20 minutes.

Louis smiled excitedly. He nearly let his phone slip onto his face but luckily he caught it in time. He wouldn’t be adding to that embarrassing number count today. Making a small sound effect as he jumped off his bed and jogged over to his desk, Louis quickly grabbed his car keys and wallet.

He snatched up a pen and scribbled a note to let his dad know he was going out. Sliding down the hallways on his socks, Louis barreled down the stairs and put the note on the table where his dad was sure to see it. He slipped out of the front door and made a beeline to his car, apologizing to one of the gardeners that he bumped into on the way there. Double checking his seatbelt and making sure he had the best classical music playing, Louis was off.

Within 15 minutes he had reached Olive Street and immediately saw Violet in all of her grumpy sunshine glory - at least that was how he would describe it. Louis gave a friendly wave to his friend as he pulled forward and stopped the car right beside her. “Hey, Vi!” Louis poked his head out with his signature smile.

Violet was silent as she strolled forward and opened the door. It wasn’t until she was seated that she spoke up. “Hi, Lou,” Violet looked up with a little smile as she fastened her seatbelt.

“Are you ready to party?” Louis locked eyes with Violet as he glanced up into the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, let's go,” Violet’s eyes wandered out to watch the world outside her car window while Louis drove. The two friends talked here and there about school and how both of them were sick of this week and glad it had ended. The conversation was light and easy and Violet enjoyed the simplicity of it as the classical music played from Louis’ car. After around a twenty minute ride they had arrived at the arcade. Putting the car in park, Louis undid his seatbelt and got out to open the door for his friend.

“Thanks,” Violet slipped out of the car and started to walk forward.

“No problem, bestie!” Louis grinned brightly and locked the car before jogging over to catch up with Violet.

Soon they entered Chuck E. Cheese and were immediately greeted by a staff member. “Well, hi there! Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese!” The staff member smiled before reaching over and grabbing the stamp and ink. Louis and Violet already knew the drill, they had been here tons of times before. Once their stamps were on Louis held out his fist with a grin. Violet silently moved her fist forward and fistbumped Louis. The pair looked at each other and shared a happy smile. “Now, onward to the token machine!” Louis declared and grabbed Violet’s hand, pulling her forward without warning. Violet’s comments were lost to Louis as his joy radiated off him while they made their way over to the token machine. Louis dramatically pulled out his credit card and leaned against it as he placed the card into the machine. The machine whirled to life and tokens began to pour out of the slot and into their small cups. Soon Louis and Violet’s arms were full of the tiny cups filled to the brim with tokens. Violet stuffed a bunch of tokens in her hoodie pocket while Louis tried to stuff the rest in his back pockets. This only made his butt look lumpy which made Violet laugh.

“Ha, ha. I look lumpy. So, anyways, what should we play first?” Louis asked as the two made their way around the arcade. The lights and sounds of the multiple games overwhelmed their senses. Each game seemed to be trying to draw over anyone’s attention that it could get.

“Strength test,” Violet led the way and Louis sighed deeply.

“But I suck at that.” Louis whined as he followed her, weaving past the different people who were also enjoying the different arcade games.

“But I don’t.” Violet smirked over at Louis before putting in some tokens in the slot to start the game. She took a step back and stared at the ball. Her mind quickly changed the soccer ball into the different things that were pulling her down in life. Her frustration and determination swirled around in her heart as she sent her foot forward, kicking the ball with all her strength. The kick caused the ball to launch back with a hearty thud as the machine rang with a happy tune.

The score flashed brightly on the screen overhead. Based on how loudly the machine was reacting to Violet’s attempt she must’ve made a new high score. Tickets began to pour out of the machine, coming out in copious amounts for this game’s standard. Louis clapped with enthusiasm and Violet looked away, a small smile of pride prominent on her lips.

Louis strolled forward and placed more tokens in, taking a few deep breaths to get ready. “Now, it is my turn. Watch as I kick that high score out of the water!” He kicked his leg, giving a loud cry as his foot connected with the soccer ball. The ball flung back with a faint sound and Violet laughed as Louis’ score flashed on the screen. It was far below hers.

“Shut up, Vi!” Louis pouted as he strode away. “You know my strength has always been in my arms. I’m going to choose next and totally kick your ass!”

“Uh huh, sure, Louis.” Violet stuck her hands in her pockets and strolled alongside her best friend who was trying to find the game to beat her at. That’s when he noticed the Dance Dance Revolution dance pad. Violet followed his gaze and let out a long groan. “Oh no,”

“Oh, yes!” Louis pulled Violet forward and immediately put in some tokens so both of them could play at the same time. He selected a song and before Violet could say otherwise the game had begun. Louis nodded his head to the beat of the song, causing his dreads to bounce lightly as his feet found the right buttons with ease. He happily danced and sent over a competitive grin to Violet who was too busy struggling to notice. Her feet sloppily tried to keep up with the beat but she just couldn’t seem to get it.

After a few rounds Louis agreed to call it quits and moved to gather the tickets when he remembered that this game didn't reward players with that. Violet quickly pulled him along, determined to find a game she could beat him at. Soon they were standing in front of whack a mole and it was clear that the evening would turn very competitive. Each of them seemed to want to prove that they could beat the other at more games and so they ran around the arcade playing every game they could until their stomachs growled loudly. It was dinner time.

“Have no fear, the pizza will soon be here!” Louis declared with a smile as he guided them towards the spot where they could order food. Louis was sure to order lots of pepperoni pizza and a few sodas. After a few minutes of trying to find a spot while sipping absentmindedly on their sodas the two found a booth that sat near the large animatronics of Chuck E Cheese and his pals.

Soon the pizzas showed up and the server wished them a nice meal before walking away. Violet was the first to strike and snagged a slice of pizza, quickly shoving it in her mouth. Louis watched in shock and somewhat awe at his friend and her ability to eat piping hot food like it was nothing.

“This pizza’s the shit!” Violet exclaimed as she grabbed more slices.

Louis laughed and nodded as he grabbed a slice to eat. “Save some for me,” He snatched up a slice of his own and devoured it.

“Eh, you have enough money to buy all the pizzas in this place,” Violet smirked as she stole a slice from Louis while he was distracted by the show that was going on with the animatronics.

“Hey! That’s a sneaky move!” Louis huffed and watched as Violet demolished the slice. She leaned back and causally sipped on her soda when suddenly a familiar voice appeared beside the table.

“Hey, Louis! Hi, Vi! Sorry I’m late.” Marlon smiled apologetically as he stood by their booth. Louis and Violet looked up, both having different reactions at seeing their friend. Violet seemed shocked at the fact that Marlon was here while Louis smiled brightly and immediately scooted out of the booth.

“Marlon!” he exclaimed before doing their special handshake with him. Louis bopped his fist on the top of Marlon’s before Marlon returned the gesture. They slapped their hands together before repeating it the reverse way. Then their fingers wiggled together before they wrapped their arms around each other’s shoulders. Both of them laughed happily until they noticed that Violet was still lost as to why Marlon was here.

“Hey, Marlon. I didn’t know you were gonna show up.” Violet mumbled through a mouthful of pizza.

“Yeah, Louis invited me. He didn’t tell you?” Marlon looked over at Louis as he slid into his side of the booth.

“It must’ve slipped my mind.” Louis laughed and nervously scratched the back of his head.

“Well, now that Marlon is here we should order more pizza,” Violet slid over a slice of pizza to the blond.

“Oh yes! This pizza is the best!” Marlon smiled as he took the first bite. He tilted his head back and let the cheesy goodness of the pizza fill his stomach. Without waiting a second he stuffed the rest of the slice in his mouth. Louis already knew what needed to be done; he ran over to order another pizza. Once he returned he saw that the rest of a pepperoni pizza had already been demolished by his two best friends.

“Huh, that's weird,” Violet commented as she took a sip of her soda.

“What’s weird?” Marlon sputtered out chunks of pizza and Louis used a napkin to wipe away the odd chunk or two that landed near him.

“I didn’t know they had Marlon be the mascot here,” Violet had a playful smile on her lips that turned into a smirk when she saw how much that had annoyed Marlon.

“Har, har, because it's a rat and you always say shit about my hair looking like a rat’s tail even though my hair is cool,” Marlon frowned and leaned back in his seat. He had always been proud of his mullet since he’d grown it out years ago.

“I said it looked like a dead cat, there's a difference,” Violet leaned forward with the smuggest smile on her lips.

“Oh boy,” Louis looked between his two best friends, wondering what to do, when the pizza arrived at the table. He gave a quick thanks to the server before an idea struck him. “Let’s have an eating contest!”

Marlon’s eyes lit up at that and Violet seemed interested. Their focus shifted from their conversation and soon the three of them were invested in the contest. All three gave it their all but soon Louis tapped out then Violet. Marlon gave a victory cheer that turned into an odd series of burps as he groaned and fell back into the booth. All three of them silently agreed to sit there for a while and let the food settle before they played any more games. After a while their stomachs were stable enough to move again and they got up to their feet and began to walk around in search of the next game.

“Alright, you get first pick,” Louis playfully nudged Marlon’s shoulder with a grin. Marlon returned the smile then scanned the area to figure out what he wanted to play first.

“Hoops.” Marlon nodded towards the basketball game and Violet’s eyes immediately brightened.

“Okay, but you better watch out! I’ve improved since the last time.” Louis proclaimed as he strode over.

“Oh. So you can actually score a point now?” Violet smirked back at Louis as she put in the tokens. Marlon laughed at that which made Louis frown.

“Yes, yes, I can score a point now!” Louis declared loudly and Violet and Marlon shared a smile.

“I’m sure you can, Lou,” Marlon gave a genuine smile then grabbed the first basketball to start his round. He got in the right form and got ready to make the first basket. Like always Marlon was great at the game, scoring all the baskets with ease as his score steadily increased. The basketballs continued to squash into the net and Louis applauded and cheered loudly. Violet nodded with a small smile, impressed by the score before having her turn.

She wasn’t bad herself. In fact Violet was really giving Marlon a run for his money, scoring basket after basket and making her score nothing to scoff at. Still Marlon had just edged out in front of her, something that Violet was sure Marlon would boast about for the next little while.

Louis went next and struck a pose as he prepared his first shot then gave a dramatic throw. The first ball - to Violet and Marlon’s surprise - actually went in. Both clapped, genuinely impressed that Louis had made the first basket. Louis did a quick bow, a proud smile on his lips. “Thank you, thank you. Now to make the rest of the shots!” Louis yelled and returned to the game. He didn’t make any of the other shots.

“What were you saying about making the shots?” Violet teased and Louis shot her a look.

“Shut. I can still beat you two at other games!” Louis snatched up the tickets and  headed straight towards skee ball. None of them were superstars at that game but that didn’t stop them from having a blast. Once they finished a few rounds of that they headed over to the balloon popping game.

The three of them quickly became lost in game after game as they wanted to play all the games they could. But soon they realized that it was growing late and they knew what game they should end on. The wheel of tickets. Louis started it out and spun the wheel.

“Come on, let's win some tickets!” Louis bounced anxiously on the balls of his feet and gave a small groan when he only won twenty tickets. Marlon was next and he spun the wheel with all his might. He only got five more tickets than Louis though. Violet walked forward and took a deep breath.

“You got this, Vi! You know what they say: blondes are like good luck charms when it comes to the wheel of tickets,” Louis’ sentence made Marlon and Violet look over at him.

“Thats makes zero fucking sense,” Violet commented before spinning the wheel.

“Yeah, if that was true then I would've gotten more tickets,” Marlon pointed out and Louis gave a sad frown.

“I was just trying to be a supportive friend,” Louis played with his dreadlock self consciously and soon turned his attention to the wheel.

Violet ended up only getting twenty five tickets as well. After a quick discussion the trio decided that they’d spend the rest of their tokens here. Each of them took multiple turns as the other two chanted for them to land on a jackpot. As luck would have it, Marlon finally landed on a jackpot and then Violet.

“Whoa! It is true about lucky blondes!” Louis beamed and strolled over to spin around the wheel one last time. “Now, I’m going to show you that luck is on my side too!” Louis chanted under his breath, hoping for a jackpot of his own. Marlon and Violet were chanting as well. Everyone was shocked when the wheel landed on the jackpot for the third time that day. Louis screamed with joy and hugged Violet tightly before Marlon tackled the both of them in a hug and lifted them slightly up in the air.

Arms full of tickets, the trio made their way over to the ticket muncher with big smiles. All three took turns feeding the machine which made a satisfying munching sound as the tickets went in. Soon they had their grand total on a receipt.

Violet, Marlon and Louis walked over and stood before the wall of prizes. Immediately they began to argue over what the best prizes were to spend their tickets on. Louis wanted to get cool shutter shades and a nerf gun. Marlon seemed rather attached to a plushie of a rat which made him receive some light teasing from both Louis and Violet. Violet wanted to get a tiny basketball.

“Wait, wait, wait. I think we can get all that we want,” Louis began to count the number of tickets and soon Marlon and Violet joined in to help him. With the power of their three brains they were able to determine that they could in fact get all they wanted and have some left over.

After all three of them got the prizes that they wanted, they were left with another choice. A grand total of seventy eight tickets were left to spend on smaller items.

“So, what should we get with the remaining tickets?” Marlon asked as he stared at the limited selection. Violet and Louis walked forward and stood beside him. All three were studying the small prizes displayed under the glass when Louis suddenly gasped.

“Bracelets! We should get those Chuck E. Cheese bracelets!” Louis smiled and  bounced with excitement. “That way we can all be matching!”

“So, like friendship bracelets?” Marlon glanced over at Louis who nodded.

“Exactly!” Louis looked between his two best friends, hoping that they would agree.

Marlon and Violet shared a look, having a short silent conversation before smiling and turning to look at Louis.

“Let’s do it,” Violet gave a casual shrug, acting as if it wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t fool the other two though. They could tell she was just as happy as they were about this idea. Once they had decided on the item, Louis purchased the bracelets and handed two over to his friends.

All three of them put the bracelets on their wrists and the three friends all looked at each other, smiling giddily. Marlon held out his wrist and Louis immediately clinked his wrist against Marlon’s before both looked over at Violet. Violet rolled her eyes but the small smile on her lips gave away how she really felt as she clinked her wrist against her friends’.

“Okay, time to head out! Maybe even get some ice cream?” Louis spun around and smiled at Violet and Marlon.

“Sounds good to me, Lou,” Marlon replied while Violet nodded in agreement.

“Then let's not dilly dally! Ice cream awaits!” Louis announced loudly and led the way outside. Violet watched as her two friends excitedly talked about which ice cream they would get as Louis pulled out of the parking lot. She looked out of the window with a soft smile. It had started out as a shitty day but by the end of it all it had turned into a pretty good one. Her eyes wandered over to Marlon and Louis who were arguing over whether they should listen to classical music or classic rock. They were a lot sometimes but still, Violet was glad to have friends like them.

#twdg #twdg violet #twdg louis #twdg marlon #louis violet brotp #marlon violet brotp #louis marlon brotp #louis violet marlon brotp

[ratmustards]

Smile America say Chuck E Cheese

#me #dumb #henlo

[garypotterboywizard-blog]

The Mysterious Hagroots Letter

Gary was eleven when his Hagroots letter arrived.

Well, he was eleven when it arrived — but he was eleven years, 27 days and 6 hours when he was finally able to read it.

On the first day of his letter’s arrival, Gary was engaged in a very unassuming Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. Gary’s aunt and uncle meant well, but as muggles, they didn’t understand the importance of a boy wizard’s eleventh birthday — in fact they didn’t know he was a wizard at all. While he should have been waiting excitedly by the mail slot in anticipation of this triumphant milestone, Gary instead chewed on cardboard pizza, clapping along to outdated animatronic robot musicians while contemplating how old exactly was too old to jump into a ball pit.

When they arrived home that evening, exhausted and slightly queasy from riding a VR rollercoaster three times in a row, Gary was greeted not by a piece of parchment welcoming him to his magical new life, but instead a sticky note from the postman. 

“Sorry we missed you.” Curiously, the note was addressed to him. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

Gary never got mail!

Assuming it was merely this month’s issue of Highlight’s magazine, Gary’s aunt and uncle recycled the note and retired to the living room to watch reruns of Jeopardy.

The next day Gary raced home from school, but he was too late.

“Sorry we missed you,” the note read, again. Only this time, it promised to try again the next business day — which was Monday. Three whole days away!

That weekend, Gary thought about the mystery letter a lot. Well to be fair, he actually spent most of Saturday cleaning his bedroom and Sunday visiting his Grandmother (who had a strange fascination with wristwatches). But in between those other things, the letter did cross his mind.

Gary had Math Olympiads after school on Monday, but after that, he checked the spot on the table where his aunt kept the mail.

“Aunt Tulip,” Gary asked, hanging his backpack on its hook on the wall. “Did any mail come for me today?”

“Right, right,” she said, distracted despite the fact that she was making a very basic pot of spaghetti. “We’ve missed it three times now, so we have to pick it up at the post office."

Gary’s uncle was working the late shift that month and had the car in the evenings, so his aunt promised they’d go first thing Saturday.

The week crawled by, even though Gary had a lot of math to practice for his upcoming meet. When Saturday finally arrived, Aunt Tulip, Uncle Vernoff and his cousin P-Diddy piled in the car for a family drive to the local post office. When they arrived, Aunt Tulip gave Gary the mailman’s note, and he carried it delicately in both hands up to the counter.

“I’m here to get my letter,” he said proudly.

The woman took the note from him and stared for a moment, then handed it back with a shake of her head. “No, see this is at your regional post office. This is the district post office. Understand?”

“Yes of course,” Gary said, even though he was eleven and absolutely did not.

The family piled back in the car and drove to their second post office that day just as a man was locking the front doors.

“No,” Gary said desperately through the glass, holding up the note as proof, “my letter is in there.” But the man was very old, and very tired, and genuinely did not care what Gary was saying as he had a very attractive wife waiting for him at home with a delicious pot roast.

On Thursday of the following week, Gary’s uncle fell ill. While unfortunate, it meant Aunt Tulip and Gary could use the car on a rare weeknight. Gary begged Aunt Tulip to drive him back to the regional post office, in exchange for vacuuming the curtains.

“I’m back,” Gary told the old man once they arrived, thrusting the note at him. “I’ve returned for my letter.”

“It’s been over a week,” the man said apologetically after an extended look through the back bins. “See right here, we return the letter to sender if it’s not retrieved in a week.”

“But I did come for it,” Gary insisted, “I was here Saturday but you locked the doors.”

But the man only handed him a cherry-flavored lollipop, pointed to the hours posted on the door, and moved on to the next customer.

“It was probably just some junk mail,” Aunt Tulip said brightly on the way home, turning the radio to smooth jazz. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

But why would someone choose his eleventh birthday to start sending him junk mail? And anyway, it was his junk mail. He felt he at least deserved to read it. Maybe it would be something cool, like an AOL free trial CD ROM. 

By Friday of the following week, Gary had nearly forgotten about the mysterious letter. His team came in a solid eighth out of fifteen in the Math Olympiads, and Gary began working on a model volcano for his science fair project.

When he arrived home, he saw the postman putting a bright blue envelope into the neighbor’s mailbox. 

“Excuse me,” Gary said, suddenly remembering the trials and tribulations of the weeks prior. “You don’t by any chance remember me? You were supposed to deliver my letter.”

The postman smiled, adjusting his hat to sit at a jaunty angle on his head. “I’m supposed to deliver a lot of letters.”

Of course. The postman wouldn’t know what he looked like, just because he'd delivered a letter with his name on it. He’d have to be more specific. “I think it was a very important letter. Or possibly junk mail. I actually don’t know what it was, because it never got to me.”

“Well, unless your name is Gary Potter, I think you’re out of luck, kid.”

Gary perked up. “I am! I am Gary Potter!”

The postman looked skeptical. “But I am delivering the letter to this house,” he pointed at the neighbors, “and you seem to be going there,” he pointed at Gary's house.

Gary pulled out his school ID. “Here, look.”

The postman squinted at his ID card. “Well this doesn’t look anything like a driver’s license. Kid, postmen are sharp. You’ll need to get a better fake ID if you’re trying to fool us.”

Gary was starting to feel frustrated. “I’m eleven. Why would I need a fake ID?”

“To commit mail fraud?”

“It’s my school ID.”

“That is not nationally recognized by the government as a valid form of ID. Sorry "Gary”,” he said with air-quotes, “you’re not going to pull the wool over my eyes.”

Gary stomped all the way home, hands empty. He considered going on a hunger strike, but his Aunt Tulip had made spaghetti again and he did love spaghetti, so he ate it — but he ate it grumpily.

After dinner, the family was just sitting down to watch the new episode of America’s Got Talent when the doorbell rang.

“—seems to have ended up in our mail—” Gary heard voices trickle in from the entryway. “—didn’t mean to open it — sorry about that — prank mail?”

More muffled voices, and then the door slammed shut.

“Mail came for you,” Aunt Tulip said, tossing the bright blue envelop from earlier onto the couch beside Gary. 

Gary was disappointed to see that it wasn’t an AOL CD ROM at all, and did indeed look like some kind of whimsical prank. Probably from one of the kids at school. His friends were a bunch of jokesters.

“Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you’ve been accepted at Hagroots School of Watchcraft and Wizardry.

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books, snorkel gear and equipment. You can find all this and more at Horizontally, where you can also synchronize your watch (this is mandatory).

Term begins on September 1st at precisely 8:37am and 14 seconds. We await your response via the enclosed self-addressed envelope no later than July 31st. Please use express shipping, first class, and we prefer Fed Ex to USPS. 

Yours sincerely,

Headmaster Billabong Bumblebrew”

Gary laughed heartily, wondering which of his friends sent the silly letter. He couldn’t believe the lengths he’d gone to in order to read it — just to find out the whole thing had been a joke! 

He didn’t notice as the letter slipped down between the cushions of the couch as he went back to America’s Got Talent — he was already missing a ventriloquist on rollerskates, which suddenly felt much more pressing than the pointless joke letter. 

What a good prank. Wizard school. If only. 

[surveyjunkie]

i wish the tide would take me over

The 5000 question survey part 7

601. Do you have a lust for life?

Not at the moment, no. 602. Do you want to get more out of life?

Of course. I just don’t have the means at the moment.  603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism?

I’ve considered it. 

Cure a hangover?

It’s not really that hard to cure or prevent a hangover. Just take a multivitamin with a glass of water. Or drink pickle juice. 

Lie persuasively?

I already know how to do that. << 604. What character from a movie is most like you?

Kristen Wiig’s character from Bridesmaids.  605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death?

No, is anyone? 606. How do you feel about arranged marriages?

They’re fucked up. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like?

Diet Coke or IPAs  608. What do you like that others seem to hate?

Sour beer 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick?

April 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you?

Highway

611. What is your favorite movie?

Silver linings playbook.  612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant?

I’d chose to be an oracle, I think. <<  613. What is your favorite song lyric?

I don’t have just one, that’s too hard. 614. What will you never run out of?

"I forgive you”s 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it?

I already have who I want.  616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron?

Long long ago.  617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)?

Long long ago. 

618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? Yup…

How about the day it was due?

Yes.  619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line?

Maybe Mean Girls, or Coming to America.  620. What is your favorite season?

Late spring/early summer 621. Do you mind being described as cute?

No. 622. What is the tackiest object in your home?

I’m not sure.  623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards?

Mental health 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person?

Other than my background, I don’t really think anything about me is interesting.  625. What makes other people interesting to you?

I feel like that’s a loaded question. I’m usually always the most interested in people who don’t talk very much because they come off as mysterious, but I also think a person’s personal experiences or views on life make them interesting too. 

626. How open to suggestion are you?

Fairly open

627. Is Michael Jackson black or white?

Black.  628. Are you often lonely?

Just when I’m at work. These surveys are a personal escape from the bleakness that surrounds me when I’m here.  629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had?

Bearded dragon, but they’re not considered unusual anymore.  630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure?

I don’t think so 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only?

Head only 632. How imaginative are you?

Fairly 633. Do you like the Counting Crows?

They’re okay 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it?

I did not. 635. Are you more tense or laid back?

A weird combination of both 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does?

Somewhere in between? I think it definitely depends on my loved ones but I also know I need to create my own 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers?

LOL. 

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? Once or twice a week

639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic?

Too diplomatic sometimes. 

640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life?

I majored in psychology, so yes. 

641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi?

No, I’m too young. I’ve heard of it though. 

642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home?

Whenever I was last at Josh’s. 

643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true?

It’s somewhat true. If you ask a question it means you are seeking knowledge rather than claiming you know something.  644. What is the most interesting TV channel?

I haven’t had cable in a couple of years now, but I thought TLC always had some pretty interesting/wacky shows. 

645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again:

Probably every single twenty one pilots song. (sorry)

646. Do your pets understand you when you talk?

Kind of, yeah. I think they know when I’m talking about them.  647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people?

I’ve never surfed, been to overnight camp, or gotten my tonsils removed 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Kind of...more like a stalker I suppose.  649. Have you been to a museum this year?

No

650. Do you ever watch porn?

I used to on occasion.  651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote?

No. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you?

I wouldn’t be allowed in the army for various health reasons, so it doesn’t matter. That’s part of why I don’t think it would be a fair requirement.  653. Do people often give you weird looks?

No 654. Do like Japanese cooking?

Yes.  655. Do you care for stray animals?

Whenever I can, I try to. I’ll put out food for stray cats if they’re wandering around the neighborhood.  656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Garfield Halloween, The Secret of Nimh, The Last Unicorn, The original Lord of the Rings cartoons

I’ve only seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I thought it was okay. I’m not big into Peanuts. 

657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)?

Nope, I’m right handed. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate?

Not always, but most of the time.  659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go?

America, probably. I feel like Halloween in the US is intense. I’d love to go to one of those really fancy haunted houses. Don’t Universal have one each year? << Yes, we are super into Halloween here, it’s one of the few things about the states that I love! You can find crazy haunted houses just about anywhere.  660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down, As the Wind Blows, Grave of the Fireflies, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Spirited Away

How The Grinch Stole Christmas was missing something to it, but it was entertaining. And Spirited Away was fucking amazing.  661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral?

Male dominated.  662. What words offend you?

Words don’t really offend me, actions do.

663. They’re just words. Can you get over it?

I said they didn’t bother me :)  664. Have you ever looked into different religions?

Buddhism and Judaism  665. Which ones have you looked into?

^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion?

A lot of them are more chill than some Christians are...but I don’t really agree with them.  667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle?

It depends on the class.  668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards?

I have not. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones?

Old 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound?

No, I don’t believe so. But I could be wrong.  671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards?

Haven’t seen it. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards?

Haven’t seen that either. 673. What is your favorite zombie movie?

21 Days Later! 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater

Roller rink and sleep over 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid?

Small outdoor parties. Sometimes by the pool.  676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert

House party or catered.  677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like?

Mine were always just dinner and a movie, but my wealthier friends would have big Sweet 16′s at like venues with catered food and DJ’s.  678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party

College party. Because college was so cool to me as a high schooler hah. 

679. If you are 18 what was your party like?

We went to Benihana’s and then the hookah bar

680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip

Las Vegas trip sounds pretty lit. <<<

681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards?

Haven’t seen it.

682. What are your top 3 priorities?

Mental health, relationships, school/work. << 

683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards?

No

684. What is your favorite smell?

Coconut

685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling

2

Rape jokes

6

Sarcastic comments

2

Blonde jokes

5

Dirty jokes

2

God/religion jokes

3

Long-ass jokes

3

Death jokes

3

Pain/sickness jokes 5

Animals doing cute stuff

1

Bodily functions

3

Knock jokes

5

Ethnic jokes

3

Puns

2

Ironic situations

1

685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards?

No.

686. Do you get at least three hugs per day?

From the same person, yes.

687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side?

A cunt or a bitch? Lol 

688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards?

I haven’t seen trainspotting

689. Do movies have a great influence on you?

Sometimes

690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show?

Not anymore, I used to love reality TV back when I had cable though. 

691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want?

There are definitely roles in order to feel “accepted” or “normal”. It’s all bullshit. 

692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie?

I don’t think I’ve seen either

693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it?

Nope, that’s kind of a creepy thing to do.

694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect?

^

695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date?

I mean, sure. 

696. Do you use public pools?

Yeah, but I prefer not to.

697. Do you use public bathrooms?

Yup.

698. Do you use public showers?

Yup.

699. How old will you be in 17 years?

41 years old 0_o

700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years?

Yeah, that would suck

#survey

[caredogstips]

6 Feel-Good Legends From 2015 That Had Horrible Completes

As far as times start, 2015 was a combination of both ass and projectiles. Between terrorist attacks, a cartoonish primary season, and just plain old-time sucking, we had only a few morsels of delight to tide us over, like that one Twitter account that rates dogs. So, it pains us to inform you that everything of those silly and life-affirming Internet legends that disconcerted from civilization’s inexorable marching into the void were just the E. coli frost on 2015 ‘s cake of turds.

# 6. Pizza Rat Is Definitely Dead Now

Back in September, we were all briefly spellbound by the inspirational tale of a rat trying to make it in the big city. This little guy was filmed dragging a slice of pizza down into a subway admission, which was probably the New Yorkiest thing ever caught on tape since the last occasion person went footage of Larry David snacking a hot dog.

The role where he dedicates up at the very end is more Knicks thing ever .

The world took a couple dates off to laugh and smile at what came to be known as Pizza Rat( which is also a rejected refer for Chuck E. Cheese ), and we all knew we would have tell him on the train with us if we ensure him. Regrettably, rats are especially hard to follow up with, so nobody certainly knows what became of the hungry and highly practical rodent.

The Aftermath:

Unfortunately, we have a pretty good project: Pizza Rat was maybe killed, and then another 10 rats took his neighbourhood. New York is so knee-deep in rats right now that New Yorkers have given their metropoli bird-dogs to labour killing them in organized rat hunts.

Westminster endorse by epoch, Splinter killer by night .

And, keep in mind — they just New Yorkers. They wear all-black ensembles and wheeze grit every time they leave their tiny closet apartments. For New Yorkers to get worked up enough about vermin to become 24,000 rat-related disorders to a specific rat-related hotline, you know the problem is bad. One maiden detected a settlement of roughly 200 rats in her neighbourhood common, announcing it “the Burning Man of rats, ” a name previously held by Burning Man.

Right now it’s ambiguous if there are actually more rats, or if the rats are coming out in more action thanks to an increase in garbage left open over 2015 ‘s winter. Mayor Bill de Blasio has added an additional$ 3 million to the city’s budget only to take care of them, which is a quite marvelous summarize. As of right now, it’s still not clear how much of that each rat will be receiving to migrate.

Considering how it’s now two Pizza Rats for every pizza, likely not much .

So as adorable as Pizza Rat was, the pizza either leaved it more fuel to peck on the skin of a sleeping homeless New Yorker, or it was hunted down by a terrier. Either lane, developments in the situation is less Ratatouille and more Plagues Of Egypt -y.

# 5. The “Clock Boy” Story Only Fueled More Racism

Back in September, most of the society was appalled by the arrest of Ahmed Mohamed, a 14 -year-old Texas student who returned a homemade clock to school to picture to one of his schoolteachers. One of the schoolteachers accepted it was a missile, based on such technological details as Ahmed’s name and skin color and called the police to have him arrested.

“His clock would have punched 9:11 twice a period. What more testify do you need? ”

The event provoked national resentment and an outburst of support for Ahmed, leading to offers for him to consider science at prestigious universities and become R& B vocalist Ne-Yo’s protege. Overall, this incident showed that maybe most of this country is on the right-hand side of this intolerance circumstance after all, right?

The Aftermath:

At least, until the majority of members of the person stopped attaches great importance. After that, happens got pretty terrible.

It turns out that it’s not just one institution — often of Irving, Texas, is astoundingly fucking racist, and Mayor Beth Van Duyne may be the worst of all of them. She’s convinced that Muslims are trying to enforce Sharia law in the United States, a sentiment said that he shared a number of other shitheads in the country. So, naturally, when the bulletin about Mohamed divulged, she decided that doubling down was a better programme than rationalizing, which led to the town being sued by Mohamed’s category to the song of $15 million, which won’t facilitate Irving’s rat problem at all.

That’s what happens when you elect rebuffed ventures from the Ann Coulter Cloning Factory .

Meanwhile, the other racists of Irving built sure the town understood how hazardous and violent Muslims are by complaining outside the neighbourhood mosque with their handguns, because that’ll establish ’em.

“See !? If they are innocent, why are they all nervous and shaky whenever we stop by? ”

Within a few epoches of all the assist generated for Ahmed, he was accused of planning the whole thought to garner sympathy by some, including renowned scientist and patron saint of conclude Richard Dawkins. Add the barrage of death threats on top of that, and it’s no amaze that the Mohamed family spoke “fuck it” and moved to Qatar instead. Apparently, they appear safer hanging out with a wanted battle criminal than dealing with America’s Islamophobes.

# 4. Those Felines Being Intimidated By Cucumbers Are Victims Of Animal Abuse

Recently, people have discovered that “cat-o-nine-tails” are dramatically startled by cucumbers, which are famed for represent one of the least startling nutrients on the planet. So parties with lots of free time have found themselves residence cucumbers behind their cats while they’re eating, then waiting for the “cat-o-nine-tail” to observe and altogether freak out.

It takes a special breed of asshole to be disillusioned when they don’t give their baby a heart attack .

It’s good family-friendly recreation, and laugh always stimulates “the worlds” a better place. It’s not like we’re leaving the cats with long-lasting mental detriment from a cucumber or any other apparently leading question, right?

The Aftermath:

Yeah, it goes without saying that “youre supposed to” shouldn’t be accentuating your pets out for your own amusement. Cats aren’t running away from cucumbers because they dislike salads; it’s because when you’re an animal who didn’t learn about veggies in institution, a cucumber looks like a fucking snake . And when a feline assures a snake, it does what any of us would do — a triple Axel quadruple kickflip to indy, followed by running away as fast as possible.

No “cat-o-nine-tail” wants to go from eating Fancy Feast to becoming one .

What realise it worse, nonetheless, is when people do the cucumber stunt while the “cat-o-nine-tail” is ingesting. A feline generally accompanies their meat dish locality as the ultimate safe and relaxing infinite, so when you suggest that it’s actually a snake den, they start feeling less safe in their own home. Nobody’s ever happy when a phony gunman shows up to scare the piss out of everyone at a fast food eatery, so don’t do the same occasion to your “cat-o-nine-tails”, you maniacs.

As far as times go, 2015 was a combination of both ass and balls. Between terrorist attacks, a cartoonish primary season, and just plain old-fashioned sucking, we had only a few morsels of joy to tide us over, like that one Twitter account that rates hounds. So, it stings us to inform you that all of those silly and life-affirming Internet stories that distracted from civilization’s inexorable advance into the void were just the E. coli frosting on 2015 ‘s cake of turds.

# 6. Pizza Rat Is Definitely Dead Now

Back in September, “weve all” briefly spellbound by the inspirational storey of a rat trying to make it in the big city. This little guy was filmed dragging a slice of pizza down into a subway enter, which was probably the New Yorkiest thing ever caught on tape since the last meter someone get footage of Larry David gobbling a hot dog.

The fraction where he throws up at the very end is more Knicks thing ever .

The world took a couple periods off to laugh and smile at what came to be known as Pizza Rat( which is also a rejected identify for Chuck E. Cheese ), and we all knew we would have let him on the train with us if we appreciated him. Regrettably, rats are particularly hard to follow up with, so nobody genuinely knows what became of the ravenous and highly practical rodent.

The Aftermath:

Unfortunately, we have a pretty good feeling: Pizza Rat was perhaps killed, and then another 10 rats took his situate. New York is so knee-deep in rats right now that New Yorkers have introduced their metropoli hounds to cultivate killing them in organized rat huntings.

Westminster champion by daytime, Splinter killer by night .

And, keep in mind — these are New Yorkers. They wear all-black ensembles and exhale grit each time they leave their tiny closet apartments. For New Yorkers to get worked up enough about vermin to represent 24,000 rat-related grumbles to a specific rat-related hotline, you know the problem is bad. One lady detected a colony of roughly 200 rats in her local common, announcing it “the Burning Man of rats, ” a title previously held by Burning Man.

Right now it’s ambiguous if there are actually more rats, or if the rats are coming out in more army thanks to an increased number of scrap left open over 2015 ‘s winter. Mayor Bill de Blasio has added an additional$ 3 million to the city’s budget only to take care of them, which is a somewhat phenomenal sum. As of right now, it’s still not clear how much of that each rat will be receiving to migrate.

Considering how it’s now two Pizza Rats for every pizza, perhaps not much .

So as adorable as Pizza Rat was, the pizza either presented it more fuel to munch on the skin of a sleeping homeless New Yorker, or it was hunted down by a terrier. Either path, developments in the situation is less Ratatouille and more Plagues Of Egypt -y.

# 5. The “Clock Boy” Story Only Fueled More Racism

Back in September, most of the nation was appalled by the arrest of Ahmed Mohamed, a 14 -year-old Texas student who returned a homemade clock to academy to depict to one of his teachers. One of the coaches expected it was a rocket, based on such technological details as Ahmed’s name and skin color and called the police to have him arrested.

“His clock would have reached 9:11 twice a day. What more indication do you need? ”

The event triggered national outrage and an spate of support for Ahmed, leading to offers for him to investigate science at prestigious universities and become R& B singer Ne-Yo’s protege. Overall, this incident showed that maybe most of this country is on the right side of this intolerance situation after all, right?

The Aftermath:

At least, until most of the commonwealth stopped attaches great importance. After that, circumstances got pretty terrible.

It turns out that it’s not only one institution — much of Irving, Texas, is astoundingly fucking racist, and Mayor Beth Van Duyne may be the most difficult of all of them. She’s remain convinced that Muslims are trying to enforce Sharia law in the United States, a feeling shared by a number of other shitheads in the two countries. So, naturally, when the word about Mohamed cracked, she decided that doubling down was a better programme than apologizing, which led to the town being sued by Mohamed’s category to the carol of $15 million, which won’t assistant Irving’s rat question at all.

That’s what happens when you elect repudiated experiments from the Ann Coulter Cloning Factory .

Meanwhile, the other racists of Irving manufactured sure the cities understood how hazardous and murderou Muslims are by protesting outside the local mosque with their grease-guns, because that’ll demo ’em.

“See !? If they are innocent, why are they all nervous and shaky whenever we stop by? ”

Within a few days of all the supporter generated for Ahmed, he was accused of planning the whole circumstance to garner sympathy by some, including renowned scientist and patron saint of intellect Richard Dawkins. Add the barrage of death threats on top of that, and it’s no astound that the Mohamed family announced “fuck it” and moved to Qatar instead. Apparently, they feel safer hanging out with a wanted conflict criminal than dealing with America’s Islamophobes.

# 4. Those “Cat-o-nine-tails” Being Intimidated By Cucumbers Are Victims Of Animal Abuse

Recently, parties have discovered that felines are dramatically startled by cucumbers, which are famous for represent one of the least panicking foods on the planet. So parties with lots of free time have found themselves targeting cucumbers behind their cats while they’re eating, then waiting for the cat to discover and altogether freak out.

It takes a special reproduction of asshole to be disappointed when they don’t give their pet a heart attack .

It’s good family-friendly recreation, and laugh ever shapes the world a better place. It’s not like we’re leaving the “cat-o-nine-tails” with persistent mental shattering from a cucumber or any other plainly leading question, right?

The Aftermath:

Yeah, it goes without saying that “youre supposed to” shouldn’t be emphasizing your domesticateds out for your own amusement. Cats aren’t running away from cucumbers because they detest salads; it’s because when you’re live animals who didn’t informed about veggies in institution, a cucumber looks like a fucking serpent . And when a cat ascertains a serpent, it does what any of us would do — a triple Axel quadruple kickflip to indy, followed by running away as fast as possible.

No “cat-o-nine-tail” wants to go from ingesting Fancy Feast to becoming one .

What constructs it worse, however, is when people do the cucumber gimmick while the “cat-o-nine-tail” is chewing. A “cat-o-nine-tail” generally realise their meat dish locality as the ultimate safe and relaxing infinite, so when you suggest that it’s actually a snake den, they start find less safe in their own home. Nobody’s ever joyous when a fake gunman shows up to scare the piss out of everyone at a fast food restaurant, so don’t do the same occasion to your cats, you maniacs.

Read more: feedproxy.google.com

The post 6 Feel-Good Legends From 2015 That Had Horrible Completes appeared first on caredogstips.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rNMXXI via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress