#sisters in real life

[cannibalgh0st]

Rainbow joints🌈✨️

w/ @catastrophic-chronic 💞

#bud #weed #stoner stuff #joints #medical cannabis #cannabis #sativa #stoner blogs #stoner blog #2023 #july #rainbow #catastrophic-chronic #cannibalgh0st #sisters in real life #sisters #happy sunday #stoner sunday

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[chiliger]

It’s a sign of affection.

#chiligerart #star wars #the clone wars #alpha 17 #commander cody #captain rex #ahsoka tano #clone cadets #or: alpha 17. man notorious for his emotional constipation *slaps hand over tiny cadet faces* #Cody saw Rex by himself and decided ‘I’m going to adopt him’ #Rex saw Ahsoka. looked at anakin. looked back at Ahsoka #and came to the logical conclusion that she was his newly adopted brother #‘don’t you mean sister?’ ‘what’s a sister’ #more sibling stuff based on real life

[canigohomenoow]

#these are texts taken from conversations i’ve had in real life #i love them your honor #they fight over who’s color is red #i love their bickering #they actually hate each other #they’re all just complex little blorbos to me #they’re so older sister younger brother #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #batfam #tim drake #batfamily #dc #red robin #red hood #batkids

[penguinsinparadise]

The 2023 dnp baking video would’ve sent me into a coma in 2016

#phan #dnpgames #danandphilgames #danielhowell #dan and phil #danandphil #dapg #dan and phil games #sister daniel #lucifer lester #is this even real life??? #phil lester

[acemurdersonjasontodd]

#this poll is brought to you by: #superman and lois ruining a perfectly sweet moment by having clark hop onto the bed with lois WHILE WEARING HIS OUTDOOR SHOES #!!!!!!! #the way my sister and i both started yelling as soon as the camera panned out to show his shoes #outrageous #this can’t be how people live in real life

[dollkisses05]

Yes babe you’re so valley of the dolls kate moss the bling ring soundtrack raspberry vodka cat marnell my year of rest and relaxation dior lipgloss skinny gossip girl interrupted syndrome tacky victoria’s secret lingerie this is what makes us girls demo versión diet cherry coke

#lena writes #girlblogging #hell is a teenage girl #gatekeep gaslight girlboss #this is what makes us girls #just girly things #whisper girl #coquette #coquette aesthetic #femcel #coqeutte #palo alto #girly tumblr #girlblog #girl blog #too real #relateable #relate #lust for life #cinammon girl #daisy randone #lisa rowe #nina sayers #cecilia lisbon #lux lisbon #lisbon sisters #female hysteria #sullen girl #girl interupted syndrome #im just a girl

[raeofgayshine]

Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?

Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.

Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.

Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??

Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.

Clark: What.

Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.

Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.

Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?

#ravenpuff rambles #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #superbat #if you want to read it like that I mean Bruce is definitely flirting with Clark #and annoying him at the same time but really that’s just their relationship #anyways shout out to my sister who texted me ‘You think Bruce pretends Kansas isn’t real to annoy Clark?’ #haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since then #The thing is Bruce absolutely went into this as just a way to fuck with Clark but he got drunk and maybe leaned in a bit too hard #and then the next thing he knows he’s waking up to the news story ‘Bruce Wayne shocked to find out Kansas is real’ #*cuts to video of a distraught Bruce looking at Clark’s phone where Clark has a map of the US up* #‘See there’s Kansas’ #Bruce: ‘My whole life has been a lie?’ *looks to the camera* ‘Dick Dick did you know that Kansas was *real*’ #Dick snickering: ‘Yeah B they taught us that in school’ #Bruce: ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’ #His kids never fucking let him live it down nor do any of them believe Bruce when he tries to defend himself and say he knew Kansas was real #all along. They just pat his arm and go ‘Sure you did B’ #Brucie Wayne my beloved himbo of a man

[pbnmj]

miles and felicia have barely interacted in canon TO YOU. in my mind they are already at batman and robin levels of working together

#i actually think felicia as an older sister figure to miles can be so real. SO REAL!!!!! #felicia hardy #miles morales #spider-man #spiderman #black cat #not rly spiderverse but i did take miles' design from it.. ? #anyways if this devolves into felmj then just allow it please. i think peter's love interests have to unionise #my art #projected a little of my little brother onto these two as well. sometimes there is a 15 year old in your life begging you #to buy them jordans for christmas/their birthday. and you have to look them in the eye and say no <3

[cannibalgh0st]

My sister @catastrophic-chronic got me a new pink bed set!🩷

#sisters in real life #catastrophic-chronic #cannibalgh0st #pink #bed set #bed covers #blankets #pillows #pokémon #kitty paw #pink furniture #fluffy #2023 #December #my room #sharing time

[ostropest]

#can you believe i got to use my latin knowledge in *real life*? 😂😂 #anyway #warrior nun #avatrice #ava x beatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #incorect warrior nun #warior nun crack

[chirpsythismorning]

Remember when the ST cast was presented with the fan theory that El and Will were secretly dating, meaning El would have essentially been cheating on Mike. And instead of stating what is believed to be the casual viewers assumption, you know, something along the lines of What? No! El loves Mike so that would never happen, they said What? No! Will loves Mike and he literally wants to play dnd and Nintendo in Mike’s basement for the rest of his life…— Meaning their problem with that theory wasn’t fans considering the possibility of El moving on from Mike, but Will moving on from Mike…

#byler #finn was so offended #‘Wow.’ #‘theyre literally brother and sister… they’re set up to be brother and sister…’ #‘Will and Mike on the other hand… he wants to play dnd in mikes basement for the rest of his life…’ #‘like he actually said that’ #they’re so real for saying there is setup for byler instead of stating what Redditors insist is the obvious #if it’s so clear that Mike and El love each other… #why do Will’s feelings for Mike and the set up of it outweigh El and Mike’s feelings for each other…?

[buccellato]

Fucks me up to think about how Legato's legacy in-universe after his death in Trimax (and presumably Tristamp) is probably gonna be how much he sucked and nothing else....

Like, nobody will like Knives but Vash will be long-lived enough to be able to eventually talk about his good qualities from when he was a child and his quasi-redemption in his last days. But who remembers Legato? Livio and Vash are the only living people with any extended memory of him and neither of them would have anything nice to say (and rightfully so). Neither of them probably knew he was a slave, either—as far as Vash can tell this dude showed up one day and hated his guts, for all he knows he's just another survivor from July! Outside of Knives, Elendira, Legato, and maybe Conrad, I don't think any other character knows his actual life story.

And to add on to that, there's no way of looking up that past either—he had no name or personhood before he was effectively rescued, so who could investigators or reporters or archivists track down for information? The human being that was Legato only existed for as long as he knew Knives, before that he was something to be kept and abused as an object. There's presumably no surviving family they can reliably contact, nobody to really say "yes I knew him, here's what his life was like, here's how we can prevent something like this from happening again".

His entire existence will be reduced down to "a human weapon that was freakishly loyal to public enemy #1" without any reflection on the mechanisms that made him the way he was because there's just no actual knowledge of his life.

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun spoilers #legato bluesummers #fucked up to think about how absolutely conditional his personhood was throughout his life. Good parallel to Wolfwood and Livio and Vash th #sometimes I think about that potential little sister he (maybe) had...if she existed (and was alive) would she even recognize him? #also really hope the whole “most of the humans on this planet died off and also Earth fleets showed up” fixes the slavery issue because oof #the Roderick gang was so open about it too...had they gotten more bold as of recent (in the story) or were they always so cocky? #not that it probably mattered since all they had to do was avoid the handful of city military police and the one independent who cared #I think Vash probably would've done something (and then pretend he didn't) if he knew more...but he's also not omniscient #I do think he'd stop slavers if he saw them but he'd actually have to run into them first...or learn to actually investigate for real #the Earth forces are actually desperately needed here if only just to fix this #CLEARING OUT MY DRAFTS (2 posts) LET'S GO

[deiahapmoment]

Also I can't believe we got baited soooo hard, everyone was like "omg Fyodor backstory?" only for Asagiri to turn around, give us more skk shenanigans, Sigma is actually alive and so is that guy too

#i call him that one guy affectionately tho #also one of my parents likes Dostoevsky books and i don't wanna have to explain to them that the one that got crushed under a helicopter #isn't the real life author lmao #(my sister also reads bsd) #but fr i knew bbg sigma was alive but yknow if dazai says it then it must be true 🫡 #bungou stray dogs #skk #bsd #soukoku #sigma bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor

[navree]

i'm sorry but this is sending me into the goddamn stratosphere, if you send people to physically attack my mom, torture my sister, cut my six year old son's head off, threaten to murder my toddler, and then also threaten to rape my six year old daughter, i would be very happy and jovial in declaring war on your psycho ass for pulling that shit on people who literally didn't do a thing to you.

consequently, if i sent people to physically attack someone who never did me any harm, torture my sister who never did me any harm, cut my six year old nephew who never did me any harm's head off, threaten to murder my toddler nephew who never did me any harm, and also threaten to rape my six year old niece who never did me any harm, i would be very full of regret and sorrow for what i've done, because those are bad things that i did.

#personal #house of the dragon #hotd #like yeah no SHIT aegon's super gung-ho to carpet bomb rhaenyra and her side #you murder my kid and beat up my mom and make my sister go crazy and literally threaten to RAPE MY SIX YEAR OLD #i'll go apeshit i'll have the time of my life talking about how you're gonna suffer i'll be happy as a clam about it #like rhaenyra should absolutely feel bad and fear what she started! what she started was monstrous! #and by not thoroughly denouncing daemon and removing him from her side for it she's clearly endorsing it! #and people have the right to be happy about causing her bodily harm as a result for either tacitly or outright endorsing things like this #you know things like child murder and threats of violent rape against little girls #(and i mean even just the bad precedent to set of 'you did something that hurt me so i have the right to take it out') #('not on you or anyone who supported you but civilians who weren't even remotely involved in the situation at all') #like come on rhaenyra's side is in the wrong for blood and cheese and it's so fine for aegon (as the person most deeply affected by it) #to be happy about any retribution he could bring on her #just as it is both fine and actually really good for rhaenyra as a character to feel bad about it #as the wrongful party #be fucking for real

[touchmypixels]

this kitchen is going to be the death of me

#sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #gameplay #interiors #ive been trying to build them a new house for like the last 2 weeks no joke lmao #then i was like ok im copying my sister's real life houses floorplan cause i love it and its adorable #but i am struggling with the size and color scheme #so thats fun #ALSO HELLO #wtf did tumblr do to photoset coding that my last 2 posts are fucked up on my theme ughghghghgh