#shes a nice person and she was very sweet with getting me some class stuff waived

[orcelito]

Advising appointment within an hour and I really shouldn't be so nervous but I haven't talked to my advisor outside of emails in an entire year now

She's gonna end up mentioning the Dead Dad probably, I just know it 😭😭😭😭

#speculation nation #i told her back when i first reached out a month ago #to explain things and such. idk. #shes a nice person and she was very sweet with getting me some class stuff waived #to make it so i only have 8 classes left to take. #i should probably check out my plan of study to have a solid idea of what i wanna take next semester... b4 the appointment. #idk im just nervous. i dont like people giving me condolences. it just reminds me of what im trying to not think about. #what do you say when ppl express condolences for ur dead dad? like no it's not okay. but like im getting by. it is what it is. #it's just awkward. idk. #well. i will just focus on the important part. my fall semester!!!!!! #ill go check out what i need to take and make sure i dont have any holds on my account #i will make this a nice and effecient appointment. 💪💪💪💪

[a-mint-bear]

Make Me Yours

Male Yandere x Reader

"I just... really wanna put a collar on a cute guy."

You didn't even mean to say it out loud, but your best friend since middle school had always been super open with this sort of stuff. You've always been the first one she texts when a date goes really well, or really terribly. And a lot of your coffee meetups, like this one, devolve into her oversharing all the juicy details of her relationships.

"Oh wow." She nudged you with a grin. "Didn't know you had it in you!"

Unable to meet her eyes, you try to defend your stray thought. You remind her of some of the jerks you've dated, how their assertive and self-assured personalities had all quickly turned into a bit too aggressive and controlling. In certain situations, in controlled doses... that could lead to a nice time. But it's all fun and games until you try to explain away some of their worse moments to your coworkers and swiftly realize you're in "that kind" of relationship. You wonder if you give off some kind of energy that attracts creeps...

The thought of finding a guy who would not only let you take the reins but maybe even prefer you taking charge? It gave you a little thrill you're almost embarrassed to admit.

"Well, it's nothing to get all twisted up over." she shrugs, taking a sip of her iced latte. "You'll find the right guy that's into that kind of thing."

You smiled, she really was trying to encourage you with this, and it was oddly sweet of her.

"Oh, look!" she scooted closer to you, showing you her phone screen. "There's tons of collars you can get. You thinkin' like leather, classic S&M style? Or somethin' more cutesy?"

Maybe a little too encouraging, sometimes.

~ Somewhere very close by...~

His hands were shaking. Your words were playing on repeat in his head, drowning everything else out.

As if you weren't already perfect. He'd been so jealous of you meeting up with your friend, but if it made this conversation happen so he couldn't be too upset about it. He'd been trying to think of some way to make you his for so long... But being yours? Wearing something like that? Something that said he belonged only to you?

He was already yours. But a little proof never hurt.

. . .

It was late, and you decided to cut through the park to get home quicker. It was a pretty safe area, but you didn't want to be here any longer than you had to be. A few lights lit up the main path and you didn't see anyone else around.

But that didn't mean you were alone.

"Hey..."

You spin around to see... some guy. You'd never met him before, but he was... making A LOT of eye contact.

He was cute though. Soft, fluffy hair and piercings in his ears, his bright eyes poking out from beneath his bangs. And he had at least six inches on you, but not really an intimidating frame, a bit skinny too. The way he was looking at you was making you nervous, but you weren't sure if it was a "Oh, this is unexpected." kind of nervous or a "You're gonna end up in his basement." kind of nervous.

"You probably don't remember me but, uh...we had a few classes together last year and…"

He seemed really nervous himself, trailing off with some color in his cheeks. You tell him politely that you were sorry, but you didn't remember him.

"That's okay, uh..."

He was breathing kind of funny, his eyes still staring into yours. You asked him what he needed, hoping it would speed this along and you could leave.

He took a breath, and all you could do was stare, wondering if you should distract him and make a break for it.

"I... I've liked you. For a long time. It's like... like everything about you is just so... wonderful! Seeing you every day keeps me going! I was okay just watching but then... Sorry, sorry. I'm c-coming on too strong, I..."

He took a step towards you, moving like he was going to touch you, but you instinctively took a step back. He looked a little hurt.

"No, no please, don't be scared! I just... I thought it was the right time... I've been thinking about this for so long! I just wanted to..."

He dropped to his knees and the look in his eyes was almost...like he worshipped you. Like you were everything to him and nothing else mattered. It was a bit overwhelming...

"I heard you talking to your friend the other day. Not, uh, not in a weird way, I swear! I-it's just... It's all I can think about..."

He stared at you, a glimmer of something in his eyes. You could see a tremble in his hands, like he was debating reaching out for you again. But he was holding himself back.

Seeing him kneeling, looking up at you with a want that burned into you... It was doing something to you.

This was a weird, kinda scary, unbelievable situation. But it felt so...

Good.

You felt bold. Deciding to go for broke, you finally spoke again.

You asked him to tell you what he wanted.

You could see the tremble shoot through his frame, the smallest, quietest gasp when the your words finally registered.

"I want... I want you to look down at me, just like this! I want you to run your fingers through my hair and tell me I'm a good boy. Your good boy! I want to cuddle up to you and hear your heartbeat while you hold me, I... I want you to use me... I want you to yank my collar if I get too excited and tell me to behave."

He laughed softly at the thought, this guy was completely smitten.

"I want to be yours, if that'll make you happy..."

He reached into his back pocket, you heard the gentle clink of the collar before you saw it. It was like some kind of odd proposal, except he was down on both knees.

He held it up to you, his eyes clouded with a want that made your face feel hot.

So painfully slowly, you reached out for him, your fingers flinching back for a split second, rational thought desperately trying to break through. But despite all the reasons you could think this was completely crazy, you still wanted this.

You touched his cheek, and he didn't hesitate to lean into your hand with a contented, dreamy sigh.

The power he was giving you was... new, exciting, maybe a bit intoxicating. And he was offering it all so willingly, you wondered if this was all a dream.

"I wanna be your good boy..." His voice was soft but pleading, almost desperate. "Please..."

His smile was making your brain feel fuzzy, seeing him looking up at you like you were his whole world.

"Make me yours."

#this one's a little self-indulgent lol #male yandere #male yandere x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere oc #yandere male #yandere boy #subby yandere #wondering if I should start naming these guys and gals #so i can do part 2s with the same characters #this one's been nearly done and in my drafts for a while #job hunting is long and tiring y'all

[hearts4skywalker]

cobra kai dating head canons

masterlist!!

summary: head canons for dating cobra kai characters!!

pairings: you and cobra kai characters (separate)

warnings: no pronouns specified, probs out of character but yk

a/n: new format!!

Miguel Diaz

- biggest golden retriever bf ever ‼️

- he's not SUPER big on pda

- holding pinkies or hugging is the most he'll do in public

- with the occasional kiss on the lips (its a little more than occasionally)

- he's a very private person 🤷‍♀️

- miguel's super big on slumbies

- he's a girls girl

- kisses your knuckles

- your his passenger princess when he gets a car

- hearing "hermosa" 24/7

Robby Keene

- i think he's a black cat a first, but will start to become a golden retriever

- he's a lot more pda than miguel, but not as bad as hawk

- hand holding, hand on your waist, kissing

- you made out in the cobra kai dojo a few times 😔🙏

- he really js uses your name (maybe a little too much...)

- will teach you how to skateboard ‼️

- he's a neat freak. after juvie, everything in his life has to be put together

- you go on family trips 🤭

- you two watched euphoria sunday's together

- denied being in love with you for the longest time until tory said something about it

Samantha LaRusso

- she LOVES playing with your hair

- movie dates are a constant ‼️

- like robby, she also rarely uses pet names

- is VERY quick to defend you

- she needs reassurance. i can picture you and tory being super close and she just needs you to tell her that nothing is going on between you too.

- she makes you those baskets for every occasion (boo, burr, etc.)

- like a good amount of pda, she'll hold your hand, kiss your cheek but thats about it

- my sweet girl thinks the bare minimum is love 😔

- she definitely sends you encouraging messages everyday

- chick flic queen 🙌

Hawk (Eli) Moskowitz

- PDA ‼️‼️

- hand on your waist (sometimes ur ass 👀) kissing you at all times

- he had a crush on you before he even became hawk

- got a tattoo for you

- he loves buying you stuff, it's his love language

- skips half of his classes just to see you 😭

- if you date long enough, he'll trust you enough to dye his hair

- going with that, you're the only person who has seen the hawk down and not covered in hair spray

- his closet is your closet (hear me out bc he has some cute clothes guys ‼️)

- he uses babe and baby, but thats about it yk?

Demetri Alexopoulos

- like sam, he also needs to be reassured 24/7

- he genuinely thought you were messing with him when you said yes to dating

- you guys have star wars / lord of the rings marathons once a month

- offers to do your homework for you

- if you have a hobby or sport besides karate, he makes it a point to be there for every practice and comp

- not surprisingly, he's like hawk. he'll make out with you anywhere, hold your hand, kiss you on the lips. i mean bro gives no fucks ‼️

- the first person he told when you two started dating was actually sam

- i think demetri is super considerate of your needs. like if you have a bad day, he just lays down and runs his fingers through your hair

- he's probably the best to date out of the whole show

- i think he just uses a nickname for you. he doesn't really like "baby" or "babe" or just any pet name

Tory Nichols

- black cat gf ‼️

- she's super big on communication

- dislikes pet names with a passion

- she also thinks the bare minimum is love (my poor girls ☹️)

- holds your hand and will kiss your cheek

- her brother absolutely loves you

- YOU ALSO WATCHED EUPHORIA SUNDAYS.

- bandaging any wounds she gets during training or in fights

- if you dated while her and sam were fighting 24/7, you've had to deescalate fights before

- kim da-eun and you have mad beef.

Anthony LaRusso

- not so secret secret nerd

- you two were bio partners and he had a crush on you the second you were nice to him

- you play with his hair while he plays video games

- he holds your hand and will MAYBE kiss you

- he needs that reassurance (maybe its a larusso thing)

- you are constantly arguing with daniel over how he treats ant

- you two watch movies 24/7

- always partnering up for everything (karate sparing, bio projects)

- anthony, you, and robby are an ICONIC trio

- you defend him and he defends you ‼️

- youre the only one who knows how much his dad upsets him

- over all just such a sweet boy who's gone through it

#cobra kai #hawk moskowitz #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #miguel diaz #robby keene #samantha larusso #tory nichols #tory nichols x reader #anthony larusso x reader #robby keene x reader #demetri alexopoulos #demetri alexopoulos x reader #samantha larusso x reader #miguel diaz x reader #anthony larusso #hawk moskowitz x reader

[twinklelilstarkey]

Tutor: A Plan

Words: 4k+ Type: Angst (I guess?) Summary: The girls have a plan. Warnings: Fem!Reader. The angst isn't between Y/N and Rafe, you can breathe. Rafe isn't nice. The girls are annoying. Slight mention of alcohol and drugs (and being drunk). BUZZCUT IS HERE, BABY!

Tutor Masterlist

I do NOT give you permission to repost my work. If you’d like to read my stories on other platforms, you can find them on my Wattpad and AO3.

They aren’t sure why or how, but they cannot find you. The girls have put at the top of their priority list to talk to you as soon as they laid their eyes on you. They just didn’t expect it to not be able to do it for an entire week.

You did go to school and class, but it was as if you had disappeared into thin air as soon as the bell rang.

The girls did watch you when they could. Their eyes would scan throughout your body as you would walk into class with your usual dresses. And they would never find any bruising or a look on your face that could mean you needed to talk to someone. You were just there, in class, taking notes and sometimes looking at your phone under the desk.

They remember clearly how, for the entirety of the week, they would hear the bell ring, and you would just swiftly grab your stuff with your bag thrown over your shoulder and would just disappear into the crowd with a blink of an eye.

You would never be at the cafeteria or near your locker during lunch. One of the girls even checked the bathrooms, but they never found you. It got to a point where, on Thursday (just two days ago), they stopped by your house. They knocked at the door, only for no one to answer it.

One of your neighbors eventually appeared from behind their fence, as they had been there watching the whole time.

“Are you girls looking for someone?”

Kristy was sure that every neighbor knew who they were since they had visited your house many times. Yet the neighbors just don’t like to seem as if they know everything about the person that lives beside them - even though they very much do.

“We're looking for our friend!” Kristy would scream back at the neighbor, offering your name to him as well.

“Oh! She’s tutoring today. Her mother told me!”

And that only led to the girls walking back to the car, defeated. They would never find you at this rate, and they know it. 

Still, they did not give up.

Today, on Friday, they did everything they could. They tried to catch you in every class again or at lunch or after school, even when Kristy knew that you tutor on Fridays. It is fair to say that they weren't able to do it. Yet, their failure only led to another idea.

Due to your new friendships, the girls know there will be a larger possibility of them still finding you tonight. And because of exactly that, they searched to know what parties would be happening for the evening.

After knowing all of it, they planned their entire Friday night. Tonight will be the time they will finally get to talk to you.

From their source, there are a total of 5 parties tonight as school is just about to end, and some seniors care more about their beer than their finals.

Three parties belong to the Pogues, which they automatically scratched from any possibility of you being there with Rafe Cameron. And the other two are from the usual kook party planners. They had decided on where to go first and had everything planned out.

They all met up at Kristy’s house and got ready there. They had to wait for time to pass for a bit, as they didn’t want to get to the party too early or else there would be a possibility of spooking you away. 

When out of the house, they got to their first party fairly quick. There were so many cars at the front they knew there wouldn't be a problem hiding in the crowd. And before they went in, they split up to search for you throughout the party individually. 

The music was deafening due to how loud it was. There was smoke throughout the house due to all the sweet indoor smoking and tables which Kristy hated to find. All the tables were filled with all sorts of kooks, hovering over a small pile of powder, which only made her try to find you even harder.

All throughout the search, the possibility of you being home resurfaced time and time again, but Kristy pulled through. In a way, she did not want to find you a party at all. Kristy wanted you away from these tables and all the eating-face couples she had to elbow out to get through the crowd. She ignored all the guys that handed her out drinks as she passed through the kitchen and eventually found herself in the backyard without sight of you or your friends.

“Did you see her?” One of the girls asked.

“No.”

They waited for every other girl to appear. Kristy analyzed their faces before they could even say if they found you or anyone. They were always disappointed as they walked out, and in some way, that made Kristy feel calmer as the possibility of you being home grew and grew.

“Maybe we should stay and wait up in case they get here late.” One of the girls said to all of them, and they agreed.

Minutes went by, and Kristy checked the time on her phone every few seconds. She watched as the girls went in and out of the house again to try and find you, but with no luck. It must have been an hour into it that Kristy decided it was time to move along to the next party.

The next party would be much harder, and they all knew that before even going in.

It was supposed to be a small party that not all kooks knew about, and here they were: A group of girls who weren't personally invited and probably didn't know a soul inside that house.

The girls talked inside the car about the best strategy to follow. They thought of the possibility that they could go inside one at a time, yet they had no idea how small the party was. What if they went inside, and everyone just looked at them? What would they do then?

By the time minutes passed and no one had moved, Kristy jumped out of the car and went inside the house. Sure, her heart was almost jumping out of her chest, but she still did it. The girls watched her walk up the porch and open the unlocked front door.

Inside, there were a lot more people than Kristy expected. It was much smaller than the party before, but there are still around 30 people all throughout the house.

The music, this time, is much softer, and people aren’t screaming and spilling drinks everywhere.

Kristy closes the door behind herself and walks towards what she assumes would be the kitchen, trying her best to act natural and as if she knows what she’s doing. She pushes the door open and finds herself in the kitchen, but not by herself. Kelce, a known friend of Rafe Cameron and Topper Thornton, is standing right by the counter, mixing up his own drink.

She assumes it is due to the time that she simply stood there watching him because Kelce looks up at her after a few silent seconds and stops mixing the liquid in his cup.

“Can I help you with anything?” He asked. His tone isn't too condescending, but definitely confused.

“Oh, no,” Kristy says, quickly snapping awake from her state of shock. “Sorry. I was just a little too focused on my own thoughts.”

She smiles at him, and Kelce simply does the grin one does to not seem rude. He picks up his drink and is ready to leave when an idea strikes Kristy.

“Wait!” She says right as he’s about to walk out through the door. “I actually do need help with something.”

Kelce turns to politely give the strange girl his attention and awaits her next words.

“Do you happen to know someone by the name of Patty?” Kristy asks, not exactly knowing how she remembered the name in the first place.

“Patty as in Patricia?” Kelce asks, sipping his drink in the pause, “That Patty?”

Kristy weighed down her options in a panic. What is she supposed to say? What if it is not Patricia and some random person that has that nickname?

“Yes, her,” Kristy says with another smile.

“Yeah, I know her.” 

Kristy looks at Kelce in silence, awaiting him to say something more, but all he does is look back at her and take another sip of his drink. Through the awkwardness, Kristy tries to make everything seem normal and her to seem collected and not insane in any way.

“Uh… Do you know if she’s here?” She points down to the ground, symbolizing the party.

“I saw her a while back, yeah. Not sure where she went.”

Kristy jumps at the opportunity, “So, she was at this party.”

“Yes,” Kelce says slowly, looking at Kristy as if she had gone insane for a second.

“Were her friends here too?”

Kelce eyes Kristy up and down, finding her the most suspicious person he has ever met. He can tell she is somewhat excited about the news, which makes him assume she must know Patty and is trying to meet up with her. But her hesitant tone and lack of names of other friends make him question if she’s even someone known to Patty at all. Can you be someone’s friend without knowing any of their other friends? Especially for someone like Patty?

Kelce decides to test her for it.

“Like who?” 

Kristy tenses up at the question. What if Patty, the girl she now knows you were texting, is just someone you met at a party? Not a friend of Rafe’s or even Kelce’s. Maybe Kelce only knows her name and nothing else. Kristy has to risk it because she knows he is finding her more distrustful by the second.

She begins with the easy name, saying yours first. But all Kelce does is look at her, awaiting more names, “Uh, and Rafe or Topper?” She asks quickly before adding, “Were they here too, by the way?”

Before he could answer, Kristy checks her vibrating phone, noticing the many messages coming from the girls that stayed in the car. All the messages unnecessarily asking her to tell them everything she is seeing. Kristy checks the time, and it is just a few minutes past midnight. Kristy has no idea how much time she has to find you.

“Yeah,” Kelce’s voice makes Kristy look up, “Actually. They left not too long ago. I’m sure Patty was with them when they walked out.”

“Oh, ok.” She says to him.

“Want me to say something to her in case she comes back?” He questions her, watching her every move.

“Oh, no. That is not needed. Thank you,” She says to him with yet another smile. 

Kelce smiles back at her and lifts his drink slightly as his way to say goodbye before leaning his shoulder against the swinging door and disappearing into the party. Kristy looks around the kitchen in defeat. She knows Kelce could’ve lied as he was already finding her weird with all her hums and weird silences, but what is she supposed to do now?

Kristy runs her fingers through her hair and sighs out loud, finding the vibrating of her phone irritating. She turns around and pushes the door of the kitchen open, using the door that faces the other side of the house as an advantage to lose Kelce.

She is quick and discreet with her steps, making her way out of the front door before closing it softly behind her. As she did it, she now thinks back on how she should’ve stayed a little longer to not raise any more suspicions. But it is too late now, leaving her to hope no one saw her.

Her eyes find her car, and through the windshield, she can see the girls’ widened eyes on her. She takes a deep breath before beginning to walk over to them, and, when finally by her door, she opens it right as she gets bombarded with questions.

She begins to explain everything only when she's sitting comfortably in the front seat. The girls listen quietly, never opening their mouths to ask anything until she gets to the end.

“Did he say anything about where they went?”

“No, but I also didn’t want to push him to say it. It was already awful from all the questions I had already made”

“Maybe they went home…?”

“At midnight?” A girl questions the other.

Kristy nods in agreement as they all find it too early for your night to end. The girls talk amongst themselves, thinking of the possibility of you changing parties or going home to hang out. Others said that you all went to get more drinks for the party. But the amount of liquor and convenience stores on the island made the girls give up further in finding you.

They had failed to find you again. If only they had started with this party.

Minutes go by, and the girls finally come to terms with the fact that they are done for the night. Kristy begins to pull away from the house in silence, and the girls all look outside, deep in thought.

“Could we go get something to eat before we go back home?” The girl in the passenger seat asks Kristy, getting the girls’ attention and silent agreement.

“Sure,” Kristy says with a small and sad smile.

The car disappears from the small driveway, and Kelce continues to stare out the window with a frown. With his phone over his ear, he curses himself silently for not even getting the girl's name before she bolted out of his house.

Everything about her seemed wrong. Even when she answered such an easy question correctly, the way the girl got out of the house confirmed it for him. She’s a weirdo.

“We’re almost there,” The voice on the other side of the phone says right as they pick up.

“That’s alright. Just wanted to ask you something,” Kelce says as he looks back at the party, “Do you know a girl with, like, brown and blonde hair?”

Patty laughs drunkenly on the other side of the phone.

“What? Maybe,” She says back to him. “Why?”

“Some girl came into my house asking me about you and then just got out without a word.”

Patty laughs again, finding what he said absolutely ridiculous. Kelce listens as she asks Topper about the girl with highlights, yet the answer is just as negative.

“Do Rafe an-”

“Hold on, let me put you on speaker.” Kelce sighs at Patty.

“Do Rafe and Y/N know her?”

“We don’t know.” Topper answers him.

“Well, can you ask?”

“They’re out of the car.” Topper says, confirming to Kelce that Patty’s ‘almost there’ is really ‘we haven’t even gotten out of the parking lot yet’. 

“Why are you so stressed about it?” Patty asks him.

“Because she was weird…” He comments to her, “And she said all your names when I asked her which friends she wanted me to know about.”

“Know about?”

“Yeah, she wanted to know where you all were. You two, Y/N and Rafe.”

They stay silent on the other side of the line, and Kelce is left to contemplate his own theories on who that girl could be.

“That is weird,” Patty says in a murmur after thinking for a bit.

“I know.”

There are more seconds of silence, and Kelce walks away from the window. He goes around the house, awaiting the two other people on the call to say something else, but they don’t even whisper.

“Is the food almost ready or what?” Kelce asks them.

“We don’t know. Rafe and Y/N went to pick it up,” Patty says to him, “But they’re still at the front. It might take a few more minutes.”

“Alright,” Kelce says as he sits back down with his other friends. “Text me when you’re on your way back.”

“Will do.”

(...)

“I’m hungry.” You groan out loud, leaning back on Rafe as you watch the restaurant’s door.

“I know,” Rafe says, “You’ve told me that many times.”

You turn around and wrap your arms around him, looking up at his face. Rafe stares back at you, at how your every emotion has just been intensified due to the alcohol you’ve consumed tonight - not his fault. Your smile grows as you watch him, and he has to hold himself back from smiling back right away.

“I like the buzz cut.”

“I know,” Rafe repeats himself. “You’ve also said that many times.”

“Good, because it’s true,” You tell him quickly before kissing his lips in a small peck and pulling away from his body. 

You walk over to the restaurant's door again, eyeing the inside as you watch the only people in the open kitchen work their asses off with the usual insane orders on Friday nights. You watch them cut up the ingredients and toss them into a pan on the stove. Rafe watches you as you watch the food, comparing you in his mind to some cartoon with hearty eyes only for food.

He looks over at the car where Patty and Topper are, seeing as Patty holds her phone in the air as she talks to someone, obviously entertained. 

You get back his attention when you step away from the door, and it opens in front of you. A guy holds up a white bag towards you, which makes you grab it, and he notices how drunk you are before deciding to direct his words towards Rafe instead.

“The rest of the food is almost done as well.”

“Thank you,” Rafe says back to him before the man disappears inside the restaurant again.

You walk back over to Rafe as you peek inside the bag, dying to eat anything inside the takeout boxes.

“I’ll take this bag to the car,” You tell him.

“Are you sure you can walk there safely?”

You send him a dramatic look, and his smile appears as you do it.

Even when refusing to let him be right, you walk very careful steps toward Topper’s car. You are very much drunk, but it does feel good to be so after a week of studying for your finals.

A car drives into the parking lot, getting your attention, but as soon as you have a slight difficulty seeing it in the darkness of night, you look away uninterested and get back to careful walking. Patty opens the car's door to welcome the bag of food, and you smile brightly at the equally drunk girl while holding the bag carefully in your hands.

You hand it over to her, and Patty does not even wait to open the first box at the top. Rafe watches from afar and chuckles as the two of you almost fight over one of the forks.

You happily take the fork from Patty’s hand after she has her bite, and you take yours. You practically feel your heart exploding with love for the food.

After swallowing, you take another bite and give the fork back before beginning to walk back to Rafe.

“Was it good?” He questions you.

“What was?”

“You didn’t eat?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You say with a shrug.

Rafe smiles at you, and you walk back over to him, wrapping your arms around him again. And, in the distance, the girls watch the two of you.

In shock, after they had spent so many hours looking for you, they lay their eyes on you now, and relief hits them before any of the helplessness. You were safe and happy. Yet they cannot reach you now. Not when you're with him.

They are too distracted amongst themselves that they never turn off the car, which does sound suspicious to someone standing in an empty parking lot at night, such as Rafe. He looks over his shoulder to check out the car, half-parked in a spot with the engine running and lights on. And it has been there for some time now.

Due to the lights, Rafe cannot see who could be inside the vehicle, but those in it can see him and what he’s doing clearly.

The girls inside are discussing with each other about their next move, torn between the choice of risking going there while Rafe is right beside you or letting you go and leaving this for another day.

The discussion eventually escalates into arguing, and one of them steps out of the car before the others could reach for her.

The door is slammed closed, and the girl's silhouette appears on the side of the car. Rafe has stopped looking at the strange vehicle since you moved away from him and are now telling him all about your plans for tomorrow.

Kristy, who is still inside the car, realizes that she forgot to turn it off and does it now as they watch their friend approach the couple.

As she gets closer, the door of the restaurant swings open, and a man looks over at you. You grab the plastic bag full of food handed to you, and Rafe pulls out his wallet for the tip.

The girls impatiently watch as you say something to Rafe and begin walking toward a car. By doing that, you unknowingly create a larger distance between you and the approaching girl.

As the girl begins to change route and go toward the car you’re heading to, Rafe turns around to do the same. Yet something stops him, and his eyes go from the girl to the now turned-off vehicle, making every girl freeze on their spot.

He stares as the girl who was casually heading over to his girlfriend now simply stands before him and watches him in return. He looks over at you as you get further away from her with complete innocence. His eyes go back to the car for just another second, and he slides his wallet back into his pocket.

“What?” He asks her plainly.

The girl opens her mouth to speak but then shuts it right back up. Rafe watches her do it, and how her eyes go over to try and find you. You’re too distracted talking to Patty to even notice her.

“We want to talk to Y/N,” She forces herself to say.

“She’s busy,” He says before pointing towards the car, “Having dinner.” 

The girl stays quiet.

“Care to leave a message?”

Her silence is enough of an answer.

Rafe begins to move, and the girl turns towards Kristy's car. Anger is boiling underneath her skin as she looks over her shoulder, watching as you turn around to face Rafe. Your smiles and high-pitched voice as you excitedly speak to him. All while completely unaware of what has happened.

It doesn't take much of a thought to know that Rafe will never tell you, drunk or sober, what has happened and who has wished to speak to you. And that only angers the girl further.

She hops back inside her car and shuts the door behind her. No one dares to ask her what happened or what he said, so they sit silently and look outside.

Rafe opens the car door for you and lets you hop in as they watch. And before he goes in with you, he makes sure to have another look at the car and the girls inside it.

Rafe is a meany, y'all.

I know it wasn't much, but I hope you enjoyed this <3

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron #drew starkey #outer banks #obx #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron obx #rafe obx #obx s3 #obx imagine #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron series #tutor series #tutor

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side A: Round 2

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to @ tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Wally Rosette | He/him | @hershelchocolateart

Wally Rosette is a 15-year-old kid who was chosen (and then kidnapped) to attend the Elite Villainous International Learning facility. This position, however, is solely because his parents were world-famous villains. Wally himself has no interest in the business, and is often described as the sweetest person any of the cast has ever met. He spends most of his time in the background, helping out faculty and students with their homework or various tasks, and only ever becoming relevant when homework *is* the plot of the week. Wally is just a kind kid who knows better than to get involved in the plot and loves his friends so so so so so so so fucking much it's unreal

Promos: https://toyhou.se/8256045.wally-rosette <-wallys toyhouse profile! https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/the-villain-school/list?title_no=97541 <-the comic he's in (discontinued because I'm doing a different one - it is 6/40 chapters with a planned remake Somewhere in the distant future)

~

Adan Botello | He/him | @rainecloud020604

Adan is a highschooler who is just looking to pass class, go home and play Minecraft. He doesn't want to be unique or special any more than he is, maybe being a Minecraft YouTuber would be awesome but that's all he wants out of life. No matter what is thrown at him he tends to run away from it, like a fantasy world trying to claim he's a prince, he wants nothing to do with it. He just wants to be a normal kid, graduate high school and play Minecraft. He's also got transgender and autistic swag

Promos: https://toyhou.se/17322997.adan-botello check out the comic featuring Adan on this blog @a-tale-in-a-bottle

~

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

THIS IS MY VERY FAVORITE BABY BOY So Wally is a sweet kid, but because his parents were world-famous, he never really got a choice in who they raised him to be. This resulted in him having a BUNCH of self-worth issues that he tries to deal with on the side because he doesn't want to get his friends involved. He has two (2) major points in the plot (OUT OF 40 CHAPTERS)- one plot point where he ignores the main antagonist to get a boyfriend instead, and one where his entire arc finally culminates in "Wally Learns How To Say No To People." Outside of that, he does NOTHING regarding the main plot and is a C plot character at best. He is simply involved and there in the background because I love him so much and he is my precious little baby boy and yeah sure maybe I loved him so much I made 27 alternate universe versions of him that all have plot relevance in all my stuff but *this* wally is simply a boy and he is blue and he is lovely and I would kill and cry for him every day

Despite the fact all he desires to be is just some guy the universe keeps trying to make him more than some guy. He's supposed to be a hero, a prince, but he keeps running from the idea of it so much he ends up in another world entirely and all he wants is to go home and be normal, all he wants! He's not looking to save his sister, she can save herself she's strong. He just wants to go home :( that's all he really wants in life and he's getting really tired of the universe saying otherwise

#tournament poll #oc tournament #ocs #some guy joust #wally rosette #adan botello

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for leading a guy on an low-key manipulating his feelings? (🐺 so i can find it later)

trigger warnings for mental health issues, family death, and suicide mentions.

title is kiiinda dramatic, i know. and i should be clear that i know that what i did was definitely wrong to a degree, but idk how messed up it was.

for context: i (19 f) was freshly seventeen and had just returned to in person school for my senior year after doing my junior year online at home. the majority of my best and only friend had forgotten me almost entirely and abandoned me despite our texting throughout my online year. new social circles had formed in my absence and i had a very difficult time readjusting, especially because i had come out of isolation with worsened anxiety, depression, and lowkey suicidal idealization. to top it all off, my grandfather who i adored had just died. i was desperately lonely and at the lowest i had ever been mentally in my entire life. i say this all not to excuse my actions but to provide some context as to why i acted the way i did.

so i meet this guy (i think like 15-16?) who we'll call finn. finn is a year below me but we share an elective class. we were initially drawn to each other bc we were both the only alt/geeky kids in the room and hit it off really well. and at first things are going pretty good; we eat lunch together every day, share music, talk about our interests etc. normal friend stuff.

but here's the part where i'm probably ta: finn had told me earlier on that he's the type to catch feelings super easy, so i guess i should've expected it, but he tells me that he has a crush on me. not directly though--he starts talking about this girl that he has feelings for but doesn't have the courage to confess to. and the first time he brought it up i didn't realize it was me and ofc tried to hype him up so he could confess and all that. but by the second conversation we have about it, it dawns on me that he's definitely talking about me. and i'm like "ah fuck," because the last person i wanted it to be was me--i'm mostly into girls, and also saw finn as a little brother more than anything else. but i keep hyping him up anyways saying stuff like "oh c'mon the worst she can do is say no! and even then you can at least move on with closure!"

so he takes my advice and confesses to me over text. i turn him down as politely as i can. which is where this whole thing should've ended tbh. but it didn't. his confession (even though it was over text) really endeared me and made me feel appreciated and beautiful in a way i never had been before. i'm not conventionally attractive + a plus size girl, and had never had anyone confess to me before, let alone say something as sincere and sweet as finn did to me. i was always the girl guys dared each other to ask out as a joke, yknow? it felt nice to know that someone saw me as desirable. again, this doesn't excuse my actions or justify them. just context.

so i decide that even though i know i'm not going to pursue anything with finn, i don't want him to lose interest in me either. so i start acting like i might be into him. tell him certain outfits make him look cute, go on and on about how much i love his hair (he really did have nice hair tbh), lean in a little closer when we talked, and constantly reassure him that he'd get a gf soon because good-looking, sweet and funny guys like him don't stay single for long.

he definitely notices bc he (again over text) asks if it's ok to be more physical when we interact. like can he hold my hand if we walk down the hall or whatever. this is definitely where i should've stopped, but i didn't. i kept up the pseudo-flirting bullshit.

and then he confesses (you guessed it! over text) for a second time, insisting that he really thinks that i like him back now. i tell him i don't know what he's talking about but that i'm happy to keep being friends with him. again, i don't stop the flirting-that's-not-quite-flirting.

this continues all the way until the end of the year. he tells me before i graduate that he really cares for me and doesn't want to lose touch after i leave. i promise him we won't. at this point i'd realized the gravity of my actions and had come to regret the way i treated finn, and decided the best course of action was to let our friendship fizzle out after i graduate. so i stop responding as frequently to him, he eventually stops reaching out until finally we lost contact and i delete his number.

i know that what happened was kinda fucked up, but how bad of a fuck up was this tumblr?

(secondary question: is this something that would've had a lasting impact on him and his view of relationships? i hope it isn't. i hope he forgot about me quickly. i hope he's doing better and has found someone who actually likes him.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[lcvesjj]

Reunited - Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Pairing : Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Summary : You and Erin meet in highschool and soon become best friends. Sadly you have to move to New York, but years later when you get an offer to join Chicago’s Intelligence unit the two of you are reunited and become more than friends. 

Warnings : mentions of drinking, a little bit of angst, swearing, implied bad home life, mistakes I missed

A/n : I loved writing this :) This starts a little bit angsty but it ends all fluffy and sweet. Thank you for this amazing request @allivzs

Erin was very surprised when one day in maths class you had asked the teacher if you could sit down next to her. Even the teacher was a little bit shocked. You were known as one of the nicest and kindest people in the whole school. 

The thing that had surprised Erin the most was that while you were usually sitting with your small group of friends, you had chosen to sit down next to her. She was known amongst the teachers and some students as the trouble maker with a troubled home life. While you were a good student with amazing grades and a huge sweetheart since you always tried your best to help everyone in any way possible. 

Soon class started and you got busy with the work your teacher had assigned while he graded some tests from a different class. Erin just stared at her notebook not knowing what to do, she didn’t understand maths and most other subjects since she barely had any time to study with everything going on at home and with Bunny.

“Do you need any help with that question?” You asked gently, looking over to her. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Erin asked, avoiding your question. 

“Well I think we all need a little kindness sometimes.” You smiled at her. “I can explain the problem to you if you want me too. I’m not the best at explaining it exactly but I could try and explain it to the best of my abilities.” You added, while playing with your necklace. “Sure I guess.” Erin looked over to you. 

Maths class flew by fast since you spend most of it talking with Erin while also gently trying to explain the problem to her. After the bell rang you started gathering your stuff and so did Erin. Since it was lunchtime Erin started to head towards the bathroom since she hated sitting in the cafeteria and eating with all of the other kids. 

You caught up with her and gently grabbed her hand and softly asked if she maybe wanted to eat lunch together outside.

“Are you sure you want to eat lunch with me? I don’t want you to pity me.” She replied looking you into your eyes. 

“Of course I want to Erin! You are like the coolest person in this whole school.” Erin raised her eyebrows at your statement. 

“I mean you are always able to stand up for yourself and you don’t take anyones bullsh*t and in my opinion that is pretty awesome. Since not everyone has the courage to do that. If you don’t want to eat lunch together, I’ll just leave you alone.” You smiled softly. 

“Hey I never said I didn’t want to eat lunch together Y/n. I think you're pretty awesome but I’m just a little shocked that someone actually wants to eat with me.” Erin replied, looking down at her shoes. 

“Now c’mon let's get to the cafeteria before all the good food is gone.” She added laughing while putting out her hand for you to hold. 

For once Erin knew she had someone she could trust. 

Soon you and Erin were always sitting together and eating lunch together. As more days passed the two of you got closer and closer. You started inviting Erin to do stuff together to just meet up and talk while walking around together. You helped her a lot when she had problems at home with Bunny or other things. One day it got so bad that she called you for help since Bunny was causing problems and she didn’t know what to do. You had sat by her side every time she was having trouble at home or simply a bad day. No matter the time or day, you were always by her side. 

A few months later Erin met Hank Voight. That’s when her life started changing, she lost contact with Teddy and Bunny and got clean and stopped drinking and partying.

But she was terrified about losing you. You were her first real friend, who had also helped her a lot. Erin also once broke down to Camille that she didn’t want to move schools like Hank had suggested. She still wanted to be able to see you everyday and hang out after school. 

Somehow Voight agreed to let her stay in that school under the rule that he could meet the famous girl - Y/n Y/l/n who Erin talked about a lot. 

After meeting you Hank knew he made a good decision by letting her stay in that school. You were very polite and nice as always, when you came over for dinner one friday. Even though you were shaking and terrified inside since you heard about how strict Hank could be from Erin. You got along with all of them very well. 

Hank took an even bigger liking to you, after you mentioned that when you grew up you wanted to join the police academy and become a detective. After dinner was over you started gathering up your stuff and after saying goodbye and promising to see Erin in school on Monday you left. 

“You can tell Y/n that she can come over for dinner next Friday if she wants too.” Hank said after locking the door behind you. 

“Thank you! She is pretty awesome.” Erin replied with a huge grin.

Sometime later you ran up the stairs leading towards the house of the Voight’s. You didn’t want to leave Chicago but your parents were insisting that you should move since your dad got a new job there and it would be hard to keep living here in Chicago. 

But their decision was final, you had no choice but to pack up everything you owned and move to New York. Saying goodbye to Erin and the Voight’s was really hard. Before you left Erin had promised to keep in touch with you and write you letters. 

Many years later you still thought about Erin a lot. Even though you were now all grown up and now you were a detective with the SVU in New York you still thought about the brown haired girl who had stolen your heart from a very young age. 

Suddenly one day you got a call from Hank asking if you wanted to come back to Chicago and join his unit. And after talking with your captain you agreed to move back to Chicago and join Hank’s unit. 

You couldn’t believe it but you were back in Chicago after many years. You moved into your old home since after talking with your parents they insisted on giving you the old home you used to live in. 

For your first day Hank promised he would come pick you up and show you around the district. Sitting in his car you looked through the windows in amazement. So much has changed around Chicago. 

“So are you ready for your first day with a new unit Y/n?” He asked while stopping at the red light. 

“Yes I think I am. I’m really excited to meet everyone. How is Erin doing?” You asked curiously. 

“She’s doing good. Erin still talks about you a lot, she missed you a lot kiddo. She has no idea that you are back in Chicago, I just told the unit that there will be someone new joining us. Al has probably already figured out who is joining.” He laughed. 

After getting your new badge and everything sorted, you and Hank started walking up to the stairs towards the bullpen. 

“Guys this is Detective Y/n Y/l/n. She’s transferred from SVU in New York and from now on she will be working with us. Antonio, this is your new partner. You have already met Al, so I don’t have to introduce him. But these are Detectives Jay Halstead, Antonio Dawson and Officer Burgess, Atwater and Roman. And Detective Lindsay is in the breakroom. ” Hank said, looking over at the unit. Erin walked in and asked in a confused tone. “Wait Y/n/n? What are you doing here” 

“Well I transferred from SVU and it’s my first day here.” You smiled at her softly.

Voight just smiled at you both heading towards his office. Erin quickly walked towards you to wrap you into a warm hug. “I missed you so much.” She said, pulling you in tighter.

“I missed you more Erin.” You smiled at her gently pulling away. 

“So you two know each other?” Jay asked, looking over at the both of you. 

“Yea we do. We met a long time ago back in highschool.” Erin replied still not breaking eye contact with you. “It’s nice to have you back.” She added. 

The day flew by fast since luckily you didn’t have a case, so you had plenty of time to get to know your new coworkers. 

“Y/n do you want to join us at Molly’s? It’s a local bar owned by firefighters where we often hang out after a long day.” Jay asked, getting up and putting on his coat. 

“I would love it too, where is this bar?” You replied while also getting up from behind your desk.

After Jay gave you the address to the bar you gathered your things and started walking down the stairs where you heard someone shout. 

“Y/n/n can you please wait for me? I wanted to talk to you.” Erin asked. You just nodded in response standing on the stairs waiting for her to catch up to you. 

“So how are you liking this unit Y/n/n?” She asked curiously. 

“Everyone is really nice and I really look forward to working with you.” You smiled at her. 

She looked really pretty with her red cheeks and slightly messy hair. You felt as if no time had passed since you sat down next to her and maths class. Erin was still as pretty as the day when you first saw her at school. You had been in love with her for many years and you still were. Returning to Chicago made your feelings grow even stronger. And as much as you loved New York it wasn’t the same without her by your side. You really missed this. You missed Erin a lot in the time you had been apart. 

A while later you were both sitting next to each other at Molly’s drinking some beer. 

“So how have you been Erin?” You asked awkwardly while playing with your watch. 

“I’m doing good to be honest. I finally talked to Teddy after years and we are planning on meeting up soon.” She replied looking at you with a big smile.

“Oh that’s awesome! I’m really happy for you Erin. I missed you so much.” You smiled at her.

“I missed you so much Y/n/n. So how was New York?” 

“If I’m being honest it was pretty boring without you. I really missed being able to hang out with you.” You smiled gently at her. 

Erin laughed at your response, she missed this. 

“Do you maybe want to get out of here and go somewhere?” She asked, drinking the rest of her drink. 

“I would love to. Where do you want to go?” 

“Do you want to maybe go to that park we used to go to when we were younger?” Erin said slowly getting up from her seat. 

“Sounds good to me.” You replied.

After paying the bill for your drinks, you and Erin started walking towards her car. Since she was the one who drove you to Molly’s. 

The park was really peaceful and quiet, and you felt really relaxed. Looking up you could see the stars in between the trees. This felt surreal to you. You never thought you would be back in Chicago with Erin and working for the intelligence unit. 

“Y/n can I say something? Just please promise you won’t hate me for this.” Erin said slowly, looking over to you. 

“I could never hate you Erin. No matter what, you’re my best friend and nothing or no one will change that.” You replied, grabbing her hand gently while rubbing small shapes into the back of her hand. Erin took a deep breath and said.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for ages but then you moved and other stuff happened... But I’m in love with you. I wanted to tell you earlier but I never had the courage to do so, since I’m terrified of losing you. I understand if you don’t feel the same but I just wanted to say it. Since I’ve been feeling like this for years.” Erin said, looking over to you with fear in her eyes. She was so scared you would hate her for this. She didn’t want to ruin your friendship or lose you. 

“Erin, I feel the same. I’ve been in love with you for years. And I just thought you would never be interested in me so I never said it.” You replied softly looking over at her to see how relieved she looked. 

“Can I kiss you?” She asked, looking at you in awe. You nodded and gently pulled her into a kiss. 

“Do you want to go on a date with me Erin?” You said pulling away slightly. 

“I would love to go on a date with you. Thank you for being so amazing and sweet to me, I really appreciate it especially because of what was going on at home.” 

You smiled at her squeezing her hand softly. 

“Well we all need a little kindness sometimes. And I’m so glad I met you Erin. Highschool wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Erin pulled you in for another kiss, leaning your foreheads together and placing a gentle kiss on your lips. Leaning your head on her shoulder you smiled widely.

You were finally home.

#erin lindsay #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #erin lindsay x reader #erin lindsay imagine #one chicago imagine #chicago pd x reader #one chicago x reader #one chicago

[rudywashere]

MARI ANALYSIS (sorta)

NOTE: these are just my personal thoughts about mari’s personality and flaws and most of the proves and reasons i give and show are mostly based off my own interpretation of mari + me projecting myself because she’s a heavykin of mine whagwjswvskegskshq most of the points may sound squishy too because i just copied and pasted everything here while i was talking to my friend at that time

!!!!! AND OBVIOUSLY THERES GONNA BE SPOILERS OF OMORI!!!!!

So many people know and love mari for being the perfect older sister of sunny and overall an older sisterly figure to the rest of the group (except hero of course hahsga) and i am one of those people that love her because of it. despite me heavy kinning her i do have an issue with her character that is kinda being left out whenever people talk abt mari: she barely has any flaws

and whenever the group talked about mari they mostly discussed how perfect she was and how she was literally an angel because of how sweet she is!!! like don’t get me wrong obviously when someone you loved so much dies you can’t think of any negative traits about the person who passed away. you just constantly think about the positive memories you’ve shared with that person. It’s just impossible to think about the negative traits about a beloved one who passed away.

But still even as a mari kinnie myself it kind of bothered me how no one talked about her flaws and such. We all just saw mari as someone who is an older sisterly figure and how perfect she is. The closest we’ve gotten to a flaw of Mari is this

Mari wants to be so perfect that she gets disappointed so quickly when something isn’t good enough for her or doesn’t go according to her plan. That’s it. And whenever people talk about her flaw they mostly associate it with when Mari and Sunny had the fight because Sunny was too pressured thanks to Mari’s perfectionism

PLEASE HOLD ON TO ME IVE GOT A POINT!! Like mari cares ALOT that she HAS to be presented in a perfect manner or else she’ll be unsatisfied. Remember when mari took extra classes to be fully prepared for college??

She did all of it because she really wants to be fully prepared for college. okay now here comes the copy and paste stuff HAVSHAH

If you think abt the college part again mari chose to do these extra classes to be 100% prepared for college and have a perfect start for it because she fears that if she isn’t prepared enough for college, she would fail and failing would not fit her at all because she wants people to see her as a person who can deal with anything and is very independent. It fits to her “perfect status”. So i can see whenever something happens that could even mess some small things up she’ll get frustrated IMMEDIATELY and tries to fix it by herself because Mari is someone who doesn’t want to rely on others. She wants to handle everything by herself.

Personally I think it all started when people started to rely on Mari (mostly the younger ones/the kids that aren’t hero) and start telling her they see her as a motherly/older sisterly figure and mari was so happy to hear it that she doesn’t want to disappoint everyone by failing. So to keep up that title so she will do her best for the sake of not disappointing people. It’s really important to her but also for her friends and Sunny because she cares about them so much.

You could think that Mari’s biggest fear is either the thought of failing itself or disappointing everyone else surrounding her. And I also think that Mari is someone who fears major changes too like MASSIVE changes.

She is someone who wants everyone and everything to stay happy and nice as it has always been. So even the smallest mistake could be horrifying to her and ruin everything, which is why she has to keep everything perfect and make sure everything stays exactly how it is right now. For the sake of her friends’ precious life.

I think the fear of major changes may had hit her SO HARD when she passed away because ever since she died the group had split up, Sunny didn’t leave his house for four entire years and almost everyone isn’t exactly how they used to be. (Aubrey becoming an aggressive person with lots of built up anger or Hero becoming extremely lonely and depressed, having no real desire to keep up)

And because Mari doesn’t want to rely on others and instead lets everyone else rely on her, she doesn’t want to blame anyone for anything that has happened. I remember one specific scene where Sunny looked around in his house and there was some dialogue to a vase that was something like: “A replacement of the vase you have accidentally broken. Mari took the blame for you and said she broke it.”

Hell Mari didn’t even want to blame Sunny for her own death. She instead blames herself. Because of one little mistake she has done. And that mistake was pushing her perfectionism way too hard for the sake of not wanting to disappoint everyone else especially at the upcoming recital. And to think she died while facing one of her worst fears is honestly extremely upsetting for me. Man

Like Mari tried everything from preventing to make something NOT happen only to happen in one of the worst ways possible. Pushing her perfectionism so hard to the of the mistakes she has caused leading her into her own death. And the major changes she has caused to everyone else but also to the friendgroup itself because of it.

I can see why she would take the whole blame for herself and not even dare to make Sunny feel guilty about it. Not only because he’s her little brother but also because she is someone who wants to be responsible. And someone who didn’t want to disappoint everyone else.

PHEWWWWWW

TO SUM IT UP mari is someone who fears failure, little mistakes and especially major changes and her death had made her face those fears. and it’s all thanks to her wanting to be perfect and a reliable, responsible person who’d do anything to make the friend group stay together!!! I really wish omocat wouldve shown more of her flaws in the game and show her “not perfect” nature too!! and her friends would still love her even though she can’t stay perfect forever!!! but she’d still be very very nervous about it!!! again that could be mostly me projecting myself onto her because i heavykin her HAVSGAHSHAH anyways uhmmm if you have read all of it im gonna be SOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT AYAYAYAYA and if not that’s fine too!!’ :D

take care and stay healthy!!!! <333

#omori #omori mari #mari omori #mari #analyzing #analyzing fictional characters #heavykinning moment #hahsgahagaha #omocat #omorigame #omori sunny #omori game #sunny #sunny omori

[arisewanekosuki]

In another’s shoes

(Genshin School AU x Fem! Reader) A month has passed since you started your life in Teyvat High School, while struggling with your own insecurities and unpleasant memories with past 'friends', your schools days were passing day by day, until one day after going back home you had an accident. Thinking this is the end, you wake up... but wait, why are you in the body of the most popular girl in your school - Lumine? previous | next

Thanks @fusaex3​​​ for drawing! Author’s note: I started writing it before I wrote Bakeneko!Kunikuzushi, so this story may be worse than the previous one, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure about this one. I may end up deleting it after some time. Tbh I wanted to add some Genshin boys x reader here, but it may end up being more about friendship if I continue this story, I’m not sure, at first I thought to make that at the end some boys will have special chapters when you end up being with them or something like that. But like I said I’m not even sure if I’ll continue this cause I don’t know if anyone will like this story. I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

Prologue

The annoying alarm in my phone woke me from a dream. “What was that dream about again?” It wasn’t a good one that I’m sure. Then why it feels like I should try to remember what it was about? Looking at time in my phone I realized that if I won’t get up soon I’ll be late for school. While dressing up I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror. -“…” Before any negative thoughts would consume me I shook my head and went to the kitchen to get my breakfast. -“Good morning!” my mom said. I didn’t respond, I went to my mom to hug her, this is my way of saying ‘Good Morning’ when I'm not awake properly or just not feel like talking yet. Mom smiled and hugged me back. I started to make breakfast for myself, after awhile I finally ask: - “Do you have day off?” -“No, but today I start later, so don’t worry I’ll take (little sister name) to school. Also I made lunch for you too!”  -“Thank you.” -“So…How is school? It’s been month since it started, did you make some friends?” I sighed, not feeling like talking about it, yet I don’t want to worry my mom. -“It’s fine I guess… there is one girl in my class, Yoimiya, she’s really nice, sometimes we spend school breaks together.” -“That’s great! You should invite her here sometimes!” mom smiled, happy that I finally made a friend. I got up and got ready to go. I took my backpack and say goodbyes to my mom. “I don't really want to go to school…”  If I think about it Yoimiya was the first one to approach me, no, she’s the first one to approach everyone, she’s a very nice and friendly person. I’m grateful that she wanted to be friends with me, I only wish I would stop worrying about stuff so I could get along with her better. I want to talk more with her, hang out more with her but I still feel slightly shy and the thought of her other friends being more interesting and fun than me is not helping in that matter at all. “Ah, that’s bad! Don’t think like that (y/n)!” Well, it’s hard to not think like that when her friends like Ayaka and Kokomi are really great. Sometimes I was invited to eat lunch with them and Yoimiya. They are kind, smart and of course they are pretty… so pretty that it felt like someone like me shouldn’t sit with them. It's like a potato lying next to beautiful flowers. I would say I’m average person if I’m being ‘nice’ to myself, but I know, compared to them I’m not that interesting at all. -“Good morning!!” someone said, snapping me from my previous thoughts. Turning back I saw a little boy with cute smile. -“Hello Ruu.” I smiled to him “How are you?” Ruu’s smile got wider “At least he’s in good mood”.   -“I’m fine! Today I got up earlier so I could go and see miss Kapatcir and ask if she needs something from shop!” Ruu is truly a sweet child, he’s a kind soul, so kind that scary old miss Kapatcir accepted only him in our neighborhood. I’m glad the old lady is kind to him, compared to his father who always complains that Ruu didn’t finished his duties or that he shouldn’t spend so much time on playground. I understand that as a son of priest he has to learn, so that he could inherit the role in future and take care of shrine but Ruu is still a child, he shouldn’t be that strict with him. At least it seems his father is afraid of miss Kapatcir too, if she is sitting on the bench close to playground then Ruu can spend much more time there playing and goofing around like a kid should do. -“ (y/n)? Are you alright? You look sad today…” -“Ah I’m fine! Sorry! I just… um… had a nightmare, so I didn’t sleep well today haha!” Ruu looked at me, deep in the thought, then he searched for something in his pockets. -“I got something that will make you feel better!” he took my hand and put something in it. It’s a candy. Lavender Melon flavor. -“I hope you like this flavor but if not… then I can give you another one!!” -“This one is fine! Thank you Ruu! You’re the best!” I smiled to him and he showed me his smile again. “He’s so precious, I want to hug him!” -“Oh! Lumine! Aether! Good morning!” the boy run towards twins that came from the corner of street. Lumine and Aether, the most popular twins in our school, normally I don't care about people from other classes but even so I end up knowing who they are, thanks to  Yoimiya and other people from my class. Them being friends with Yoimiya is not surprising, knowing her, but what I heard from her, Ayaka and Kokomi, they made friends with other popular or eccentric kids in our school. How did they do it? They came two weeks after school started and in one week they become so popular. It would be a lie if I said that I’m not jealous of Lumine. She’s very beautiful, smart, confident, she can make friends with anyone, I’m sure many guys have crush on her as well. Her twin brother is good looking too, I understand why some girls from class would talk about him, his face, no, both twins are like angels. I sighed and continue walking to school, passing quickly by Ruu and twins and saying goodbye to little kid. I don’t really want to be noticed by twins but I would feel bad for not saying ‘bye’ to Ruu. After arriving in my school I sighed. “Just survive this day, and another, and another…till the end of school year weh”. While going to my class suddenly someone hugged me from behind. -“Eek!?” I made a weird sound. -“Hehe! Goood Moorning (y/n) ~” Of course it was Yoimiya. -“Good Morning” I said a bit flustered. “It seems that you are full of energy today, did something happened?” -“Nope!~ Can’t I be happy for just seeing my friend?” she said with a smile, still hugging me. Recently, she started hugging me as a hello, I always liked this form of welcoming with people I feel comfortable with. The first time she hugged me, she surprised me that much that I froze in place, she panicked and started asking if she make me uncomfortable, I remember feeling warm and said that I don't mind that. Back then I felt like our friendship improved a little bit. After releasing me from her hold we continued our way toward class. Yoimiya would talk about many things, sometimes I had hard time follow her stories, but it was nice, to listen, to talk with someone. In previous school I did had people who I could call ‘friends’, but things happened and now they are reason that even if I want to make more friends or open more to Yoimiya, those unpleasant memories stops me from doing that. When we reached our class Yoimiya took my hand and guided me to where Ayaka and Kokomi where sitting. The smile that Yoimiya gave me was saying "I won't let you just go to your sit yet!" -“Good Morning!!” Yoimiya said loudly to two girls. After her, I greeted the girls. -“Good Morning to you two too” said Ayaka, bowing politely. -“Ayaka! Stop with this formality! We are friends here! Right (Y/n)?” Yoimiya said and hugged Ayaka, the blue-white hair girl become red on her face, probably not used to others to hug her like that. -“Y-yeah!” at this moment I realized Yoimiya plan, she wants to make me talk more with them. “Too bad my friend, I’m not ready to talk with them without being awkward!” Kokomi giggled, probably amused for what is happening in front her. -“Yoimiya, I think our Kamisato Lady won't be able to take it any longer, if you continue holding her like that” said salmon pink hair girl, smiling at two other girls. -“Sorry Ayaka!” said the light strawberry blonde hair girl, finally letting go of the daughter of Kamisato family. -“I-it’s okay.” Replied the girl with still red face, I think it’s first time for me, to see her losing her composure. We didn't talk that long with each other, before the bell rings signaling that class is about to start. The day in school went slow, too slow. This time Yoimiya went to eat lunch with her other friends from other classes, I didn’t know them and to not feel like third wheel, I decided to spend lunch break alone. Sitting at my regular place outside school building and eating in silence, I was enjoying the peace. Till I heard two loud boys, probably arguing about something. I noticed that Lumine is with them too. One of them was a big guy with long white hair with some parts being red and red horns “I think I heard about him. What was his name again? Amaraki Otto? Anataki Ritto? Eh whatever” and other, slightly smaller than previous one but still taller than Lumine, with ginger hair “Isn’t that guy from Fatui gang? Lumine could even befriend someone from them?”  The boys starting getting louder and louder till Lumine looked at them saying something, making both of them quiet. Then she went towards gym building, while the boys followed her and start probably arguing between each other again. “Being that popular must be tiring sometimes.” After lunch nothing special happened till the end of classes, when the last bell rang  I was happy to finally go back home, but then I remembered that today is my turn to clean class. “Better finish fast.”  I sighed and started cleaning. At least today my cleaning partner is Kaedehara Kazuha. "At least he won't try to make some small talk". While we were cleaning, it was silent, but suddenly Kazuha said something that I couldn’t hear. -“Sorry, can you repeat? I didn’t hear you.” I ask, thinking he was talking to me. -“ Ah don’t mind me, I was coming up with new haiku.” He smiled and looked at me, Kazuha is another lovely looking person in my class, his red eyes are stunning and warm, his voice is gentle too, I think I wouldn’t mind if he now started to read his haikus or maybe even a whole book. -“I-I see!” I said flustered, realizing that I have been staring at him for too long without response. I turned around and went back to cleaning, not wanting to see his face anymore “He probably thinks that I’m weird…” . I really wished I had more courage to speak with him, I’m not good with poetry but I would like to hear about his haikus. “It’s not big deal! Just ask him about that! Maybe we can even be friends?!” I looked at him, at this moment he was cleaning the board. -“….” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came of. He had to sense my staring cause suddenly he turned around to look at me. -“Hm? Is something wrong?” he asked, looking at me with cute, confused face. -“I…no…well…” I felt my face being warmer and warmer “…fox….” -“…Pardon?” I felt like running from this class and bury myself in our school garden “Fox?! Why did I say that?! It’s so random! How hard is to ask about silly haiku! Stupid!” -“I think I saw fox outside the class.” I want to go home, I feel so embarrassed that I don’t know anymore what I’m talking about. -“Oh? Really? That’s surprising, the forest is very far away from school…” he said going to the window to look for the fox that doesn’t exist. -“Right? Maybe he got lost, poor thing, I hope it will find way to its home.” I finished cleaning the floor so I went to put broom and dustpan away. I just wanted to get far away from him at this moment. I got so nervous, that my body started to tremble. “I can’t believe myself, this was probably the worst interaction that I had with someone and I still have to come back to the classroom to put tables on their places.” When I calmed down, I came back and with Kazuha's help, we put everything on their right places. Gladly he didn't say anything else, so I could save myself from further embarrassment. After making sure that whole classroom is clean, I said goodbye to Kazuha and went quickly to lockers, to change my shoes and finally left school, to go back home, wanting to forgot about this whole interaction. - “Ugh today is Tuesday I need to study for test that is on Friday, I don’t wanna!” I muttered to myself, not being happy of the thought of studying and doing homework. I took candy from my pocket, to eat it but before I opened the sweet in my hand, I noticed something red passing in front of me. It was little girl with blond pigtails and red cap, she looks to be around age of my little sister, she was going after something round, some kind o ball? Before I knew it, everything went fast. The ball rolled into the street and the girl still followed it, without looking if there were cars. I felt something hitting me and then nothing, I was lying there, the candy from Ruu wasn't in my hand anymore, I think people started to gather around me, everything started to be blurry, I heard child crying, was it that girl? I can't believe it, my body moved on its own to try save this child. "Haha..those that means I'm not such a coward? I can do some things right too?" I think I started to hear someone calling my name but I'm not sure.” Ah… so this is how my life will end?” this was my last thought before everything went black. --- Thank you so much for reading untill end. If everything goes well Chapter 1 will be out tomorrow. 

#Genshin Impact x reader #Genshin x Reader #Genshin School AU #Kazuha x Reader #Childe x Reader #Itto x Reader #Venti x Reader #Gorou x Reader #Albedo x Reader #Heizou x Reader #Ayato x Reader #Thoma x Reader #Cyno x Reader #Tighnari x Reader #Bennett x Reader #Xingqiu x Reader #Chongyun x Reader #Razor x Reader #Scaramouche x Reader #Diluc x Reader #Kaeya x Reader #Mika x Reader #Xiao x Reader #Zhongli x Reader #Genshin Impact x You #My stuff #In another’s shoes

[naivemlnd]

Maybe it's You

Another BHM/FFA romance story I posted on dimensions magazine that I also wanted to post here :)

Summary: Catherine feels alone in the big city, until she meets a man who changes everything.  Content warning: This story contains a character who suffers from health-related anxiety.

There’s something wrong with me.

There has to be.

I have these thoughts sometimes, and they’re not like what everyone else around me is thinking or feeling. They’re… different. Taboo even.

I can’t quite put my finger down on when they started. Maybe for as long as I remember. But it took a while for me to understand that other people didn’t feel the same.

In kindergarten, I’d grab the pudgiest boy in class by the arm, squeezing his upper arm fat like it was a stress ball. He would laugh, seemingly happy to have found a friend at all, even if she was odd and didn’t respect personal boundaries.

But it became weird in first and second grade. You couldn’t just grab someone’s fat and squeeze it. And other kids liked to poke fun at the fat kids, they would taunt them. 

Eventually I would just join in. It was easier that way. Less conspicuous. But I’d never grown out of wanting to touch, to feel that supple flesh under my hands.

During puberty was when I really noticed it.

People would talk about going to second base, how hot abs were, how sexy an hourglass figure was on a girl. But I was only ever aroused when I imagined someone eating, rubbing their fat belly, getting full, moaning, but still stuffing food in…

So, it turned out most people didn’t share this interest. 

And I never said it out loud, never admitted to anyone besides myself, that I was attracted, with a level of exclusivity that scared me, to fat people. More specifically, fat people actively getting fatter.  

My first boyfriend was thin. I was 15 and I wanted. I kissed him. I really tried to get into it. 

But I couldn’t.

My college boyfriend was big, but not in the ways I wanted. He was physically imposing, well over 6 feet, broad shouldered. Handsome, sweet, funny. That helped. I nearly convinced myself that I was attracted to him. See, brain? He’s big. He makes me feel dainty and happy and nice.

It didn’t work.

I never wanted to have sex with him because I couldn’t get aroused around him. 

My excuses of taking it slow, then of ‘headaches’ or of not being in the mood only went so far. So we went our separate ways after a year together, never going farther than kissing and fondling.

It was depressing and sad that I’d only ever gotten myself off when watching some fat person on youtube stuff their faces. And after getting off, I always feel worse.

It’s in these moments of self doubt, late at night, when my heart aches for some kind of intimacy, some kind of belonging, that I think about these things. 

But maybe it’s not my interest in fat men that is the problem. Surely, if that were the case, I’d just find a fat guy to date.

So maybe it’s me that’s the problem.

*

“Cath!” 

I whipped my head around, spotting Layla as she waved a hand to get my attention. She was standing with a couple of other people, none of whom I recognized as I approached.

I cleared my throat, “Hi.”

Layla reached out to hug me, but I leaned away and she dropped her arms. Her smile was pinched around the edges, making me feel even more like shit. 

Layla knew not to do things like that, but she was always…pushing. 

Layla recovered quickly.

“I’ve got to introduce you! Okay, this is John,” she gestured to a tall man with thin wire glasses, “and Isaac,” a broad-shouldered man with curly brown hair nodded towards me, an easy smile on his lips. I attempted to mirror the expression, but it felt forced.

“They work in marketing,” Layla prattled. “And this is Vienna, she’s a data specialist like us, but in a different department.” 

Vienna, a short woman with very big hair greeted me.

“Everyone, this is Catherine!” Layla said, hovering over my shoulder. 

“Nice to meet you all,” I said, still feeling off balance from the almost-hug and Layla’s watchful gaze. 

“You as well,” big-shoulder guy, Isaac, said. 

The thing about being an adult, with an adult job, is that you always feel about an inch from unraveling. 

I hesitated around the edges of the end-of-quarter banquet, near the hand sanitizer dispenser. 

It was annoying that every employee had to attend these. So many people crammed into a banquet hall, all for some mediocre mostaccioli and baked chicken to ‘celebrate’ the employees and boost morale. 

And although Layla’s attention to me was misguided, I did appreciate that there was someone here who was interested in socializing with me.

“You should ask John out,” Layla said, appearing at my side. She was eating the olive out of her martini. 

“No no,” I started to protest.

“Come on! You’ve got to get out sometime!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. 

“Which one was that again?” I asked.

“Glasses.” 

Thin and tall, I added mentally. I shrugged. I knew it would only end one way: disappointment. But as usual, I was hoping for a miracle, a miraculous change to occur in me. For me to feel something for someone else, even just for a moment.

*

The date could be worse. But it felt more like a friendly meetup. I glanced at John’s slim figure, his slender arms, his sharp jaw, and knew with a sinking feeling in my gut that I wouldn’t even want to kiss him.

“How do you like the city? Layla mentioned you’re from the south,” John asked after a sip of water.

“It’s good, busy. I miss Georgia sometimes, of course, but I am grateful to be away from the humidity,” I said, pleased when he laughed with me.

“Oh, I'm sure! I’m a native New Yorker, so it’s interesting to hear about other people’s hometowns. Back when I lived in Queens…”

At the end of the night, John walked me home. He leaned down, maybe to hug me, maybe to kiss me, but I pulled away. 

There was a small frown tugging at his lips, but politeness seemed to keep him from saying anything.

“I had a great time, thank you for dinner,” I said, and went inside my building. 

*

“And so, this Layla person, the only friend you’ve made from your work, is now dating the guy she set you up with?” my sister’s voice, thick with the sound of home, crackled through my phone speakers.

“Yup,” I said, trying not to get polish everywhere as I painted my toes. 

“Wow. What happened to girl code?”

I sighed. “I didn’t like the guy. So I honestly couldn’t care less.”

My sister made a thoughtful noise. 

“It’s been over a month since I went out with him. Once. One date. It’s not like I had some kind of claim on him.”

My sister Ciara, like most of my friends and family, thought I was too picky with men. If only they knew the half of it. 

“When are you visiting again, Cath?”

“Not until Christmas,” I replied. 

Ciara audibly sighed.

“You could visit me here, you know.”

She didn’t answer, but she didn't need to. It was expensive and she had the kids to worry about. 

“How are the rugrats?” I asked when the silence had stretched a moment too long, and she went into depth about how Connor was doing with potty training and how Rachel was able to keep her head up on her own.

It seemed like everyone, even the kiddos, were doing more, were improving, changing. Bettering themselves. Everyone except me.

I recognized that this thought was unfair, but it didn’t stop me from having it.

*

Exactly three months after the last, there was another end-of-quarter banquet. 

I dressed myself presentably, in a comfortable yet stylish sweater with black dress pants. 

Layla waved me over to a table, where she and John were sitting side by side. Vienna, who I remembered from the last banquet, was there too, sitting by John. Next to her was a couple I didn't recognize but who Layla quickly introduced. Layla, an insufferable extrovert, was always making new friends. Or networking. I could never quite tell with her.

I took one of the two empty seats, sitting at Layla’s right. 

They were talking about holiday plans, and so I chimed in that I was going to visit family in Georgia.

“How fun!” Vienna said.

“Probably won’t be a white Christmas,” John said with humor.

“I’m not built for snow anyhow. I hate the cold,” I said, gesturing to my tiny body. 

A few people at the table laughed, but my attention was pulled away as the empty chair next to mine was pulled out. 

I glanced up. Broad-shoulder guy, er, Isaac? Yes, Isaac, with the curly hair. But he looked… different. 

He sat down heavily. I’d noticed at the last banquet that he was a large person to begin with, tall and wide. It had been difficult to tell in a suit, but he’d seemed stocky. Like someone who was quite muscular, but not cut or lean by any means.

But now…he had a belly. A real, honest-to-god, belly. It balanced out those crazy wide shoulders, pushing out from his suit jacket, and balling up in his lap as he pulled the chair up closer to the table. 

I felt myself blushing and pinched my thigh.

Now is not the time. 

“Snow is overrated if you ask me. It’s glorified cold, icy rain. Bleh,” Isaac said.

John made an indignant noise.

Isaac grinned at him.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” Vienna started singing when John and Isaac began debating the pros and cons of snow. 

“Isaac,” somebody said from behind. Isaac turned in his chair, smiling that easy smile. “You been hitting the eggnog a little hard, pal?”

My eyes widened, and I deliberately looked into the candle flickering on the table’s centerpiece so that my eyes wouldn’t wander towards his midsection. Why would this guy say that? Wasn’t that… rude?

But Isaac only laughed. I heard something, a light patting that might’ve been Isaac tapping his belly for emphasis.

“Yeah, it’s my winter coat.”

I crossed my legs under the table.

Get a grip, Catherine. 

We were served dinner, chicken in mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes, which I picked at, paying much more attention to the plate next to mine, which was cleared before anyone else's. It was all but licked clean. 

*

That night, I couldn’t get Isaac out of my mind. As Isaac was someone who had only spoken about three words to me in my entire life, I had become quite easily infatuated. 

Isaac was fatter now. And based on the way he had eaten tonight, it seemed likely that he would continue to do so. 

Check and check.

I couldn’t help searching him up online. 

I went through Layla’s friends list, and scrolled to the ‘I’s.

“Found him,” I muttered to myself, clicking his profile. 

Isaac Friedmann

I scrolled through his profile photos, but the newest was over a year old, before he’d gained weight. Still, he looked nice, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile. I scrolled back, seeing younger versions of him. One photo from six years ago showed Isaac in a hockey jersey, fresh off the ice, stick in hand, grinning with some of his teammates.

“College hockey player? That’s impressive,” I murmured to myself. I ignored the twinge in my gut reminding me of the ‘ex-athlete who gets fat’ trope in weight gain fiction.

Isaac’s ‘about’ info was private, so I couldn’t check his relationship status. But really, what were the chances that he would even be interested in me anyway? 

I didn’t request to be his friend, even though I sort of wanted to.

*

I spent the holidays back home. I had to dodge lots of questions about my love life, which was of course, nonexistent. Instead, I steered conversation back to safer topics, like my job.

“I basically crunch numbers for the company. It’s a little boring, but the pay is nice and it’s low stress. Good hours, and benefits.” 

This explanation generally had my aunts cooing and congratulating me on my success.

I flew back to New York on the 29th, as I wanted to go to Times Square and see the ball drop. I’d done it the past two years since I’d lived in the city. It was crowded and cold, but somehow, my inner child lived for it. 

I had plans to meet up with my friend Chris, also known ‘Moxie’ when he was in drag, and his partner Sid. Chris lived in my apartment building and we’d bonded over being the only tenants who do laundry at 5:00 am. For Chris, he usually hadn’t gone to bed yet, and I had typically just woken up. Between our incompatible sleep schedules, we barely saw each other outside of these strange twilight hours or weekend nights. We exchanged texts semi-regularly throughout the weekdays, which was about all I could look for in a friend anyway. It’s not like I needed 24/7 companionship.

I’d been tempted to tell Chris about my, um, tastes. He was very kink positive and not at all judgmental. But every time I considered it, I practically broke out in hives. It stressed me out so much that I eventually gave up on the idea. Chris was probably under the impression that I was ace, and I had never done much to dissuade him from this idea. Hell, maybe I was on the ace spectrum. 

That might explain why the only thing that could get me going was fat bellies.

This is not the time to think about this. 

I met up with Chris and Sid in the lobby and we walked to Times Square together. 

I was freezing cold in a matter of seconds.

“Aw, poor Peach,” Sid said, rubbing my arm as we walked, which didn’t do much to quell my shivering. Peach was Sid’s nickname for me, one which I thought was endearing in a slightly annoying way.

“I have extra gloves if you want to double up,” Chris chimed in.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m wearing lots of layers,” I said. The wind chose that moment to blast frozen air directly onto my exposed face. “Fudging fudge!” I exclaimed.

Sid cackled while Chris groaned.

“Please just say fuck. Please,” he begged. 

I wrinkled my nose. “Hmmm,” I pretended to consider it. “No.”

We argued over which swear words I was likely to say, and what disastrous scenarios might prompt me to break my ‘no-swearing’ streak, which I’d had for as long as I could remember. 

Eventually, we nudged our way into the NYE crowd and found an area to stand. We weren’t near any of the stages, but that was alright. The main attraction was the ball, which could be seen from anywhere. None of us had much interest in the musical guests.

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” Sid said, gesturing to the pub down the block that was selling drinks in disposable cups. “Anyone want anything?”

“I’m alright,” I said.

“A beer?” Chris asked. Sid nodded, gave his partner a quick kiss, and headed off.

I had become acclimated to the harsh cold and so I wasn’t shivering too badly anymore. That, or my face had become completely numb.

“Your nose is so red,” Chris commented, booping me on the nose with a gloved finger. 

“It’s charming,” I replied easily, earning a crooked smile from him. Chris had a way of soothing my mind. I couldn’t think of a single other person who I could joke with quite so easily.

As he readied to say something else, I was bumped into from behind. Chris caught me by the elbows so I wouldn’t fall.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, shit,” a deep voice mumbled.

I turned, don’t worry about it, already on my lips but…

I saw shoulders, broad and thick. An open winter jacket, a sweater-covered belly filling the opening. Curly brown hair. Chubby red cheeks. It was Isaac!

I blinked.

Isaac blinked back.

“Oh, hey, um Catherine right?” 

I felt myself blushing, but hoped that the general redness of my wind-numb face would cover it.

“Yeah, hi, um Isaac.” 

Chris nudged me. “Oh, and this is my friend Chris,” I added. 

“Nice to meet you,” Isaac said. His eyes darted between Chris and I. I felt keenly aware that Chris still had one hand on my arm.

I pulled away and gave Isaac what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Um, great to see you somewhere that isn't work-mandated.”

Wow, I am horrible at flirting, I thought to myself. But he laughed.

“Yeah, you too!” He glanced around. “I’d better get back to my friends, but it was great running into you.”

“You too!” 

There was another awkward smile exchange, and then he was slipping through the crowd and out of sight. 

“Um, who the hell was that?” Chris wheeled on me. His face was all-too knowing. 

“Work acquaintance,” I said.

Sid slid back up then, took a quick look between Chris and I before saying, “What’d I miss?”

“Catherine just attempted to flirt. With another human being.”

Sid raised his eyebrows. 

I pulled my hat down so it covered my ears better, not acknowledging that. 

“Attempted? Was she successful?” Sid asked.

Chris eyed me and I felt horribly transparent. 

“The guy seemed into it. He was all smiley.”

I frowned. Had he been? I couldn’t hardly remember the encounter except my own horrible embarrassment. 

“Well, who wouldn’t be? That’s the power of the Peach right there.”

I laughed and felt a tad lighter. 

When the ball dropped, I bit my lip and sighed, yearning for something unnamed, unknowable. For something. 

*

“Great work, Catherine.” 

I couldn’t help but preen a bit at the praise. My boss wasn’t harsh, but he also wasn’t overly friendly. He meant what he said, and he rarely gave compliments.

I let the high from that interaction carry me through the rest of the day. Petty work drama couldn’t touch me, not when I had done such ‘great work’ on my report. 

“There’s cake in the lounge if you want. It’s for, em, Eric,” Shelby, one of the interns from NYU, attempting to remember, “… Eric from accounting,” she said as I walked past.

‘Eric from accounting’ rang absolutely zero bells in my brain, but I figured I’d grab a slice.

My workplace was a big office suite located inside of a high rise. The data specialists had a corner of cubicles to themselves which budded up against the accounting cubicles. The marketing and supply-chain people had offices to themselves with glass walls and great views of the skyline. Of course, executives had a whole floor to themselves. 

It wasn’t like us numbers-folk were in some dark hovel or anything, but it nagged at me when I crossed into the marketing offices and noted the differences between our office areas. 

The lounge had a few people mingling around. I grabbed a slice of cake; it was chocolate. Not as good as vanilla, but it would do. 

“Cath, oh, tell them about that funny saying your mee-maw always says. Mee-maw, isn’t that such a cute way to say grandma?” Layla, always in the center of all social gatherings, asked as I went towards the beverage station. She was standing in a loose circle with John and Vienna.

I filled a paper cup with some burnt coffee and made my way over to her.

“Good ol’ mee-maw,” I said, playing up my accent. “She says lots of things. But, the one that always gets Layla is well, that just dills my pickle!”

Layla laughed, batting at my arm as she doubled over. I stepped out of the way to avoid the contact.

“Ah, such southern charm,” she said, giggling.

It was hard to tell with Layla whether she was laughing at you or with you.

Just then, Isaac waltzed through the lounge doorway.

“Heard there was cake,” he said, and instantly made his way over to the cake and cut himself a large slice.

It’d been a few weeks since I’d seen him on New Year’s Eve. In that time, he seemed to have gotten a little bit plumper. His dress shirt was tight across the push of his belly. The buttons were pulling a bit on either side, puckered. I tracked his movements as he forked up a big bite of cake and stuffed it in his mouth.

Isaac made an appreciative noise before stabbing another piece with his fork.

I felt a blush creeping up my neck.  

I sensed rather than saw Isaac’s eyes flick over towards me. I instinctively glanced down at my own plate, not wanting to be caught staring.

“We still on for the gym tomorrow?” John asked. I looked up. John was staring with concern towards Isaac’s middle. 

“Course,” Isaac said through a mouthful of cake.

“Are you going to do cardio with me this time?” John asked in a lighter tone.

Isaac scoffed. “You know I gave up cardio for lent.”

Layla tilted her head. “Lent doesn’t start until the end of February,” she pointed out.

“Eh, I’m not particularly religious,” Isaac said, as though that explained everything.

Vienna laughed.

I couldn't suppress my own smile. I felt Isaac glance at me, but he quickly looked away before I could catch his eye. 

“Well, that was delicious. Have a good weekend everybody,” Isaac said, throwing his empty plate into the trash. He waved and left the room. 

There was a lull in the conversation, seemingly until Layla had declared Isaac as far enough away from the room to be able to talk about him without risk of being overheard.

“He got a bit chubby, didn’t he?” Layla said, her voice laced with concern. I bit my lip and said nothing. 

John scratched the back of his neck.

“Well, he carries it well,” Vienna chimed in.

I nodded subtly. I itched to come to Isaac’s defense, but the urge to stay silent was stronger.

“I’m not trying to nag him, but he’s been eating loads. It is a little concerning, but I guess… He’s an adult,” John fragmentally explained.

“Of course! I only just noticed,” Layla said placatingly.

“Excuse me,” I said before hastily leaving the lounge. God, why was this messing with my head so much? 

Maybe it was because Isaac was practically the human incarnation of my every fantasy. He’s been eating loads John had said… Oh God, now I was picturing Isaac sitting around, gorging on takeout, eating his way out of that tight dress shirt, buttons popping and flying off as he continued stuffing his fat face…

What the hell?? Stop thinking about this at work.

I knew I was flushing profusely, so I made haste towards the women's restroom.

Once inside I checked my face in the mirror. My mascara was flaking a bit after the long day, but other than that, I looked alright. I took a few deep breaths, counting to 10 in my head. 

I felt much better as I was leaving the bathroom.

Well, I thought I would, except when I swung the door open, it opened directly into someone.

“Fiddlesticks, I’m so sor-,” I began, pausing when I glanced up and saw who I’d hit.

“No, don’t worry about it, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Isaac laughed a bit. “Payback for New Years.”

That knocked a surprised giggle from my chest.

“Oh, you know I was meaning to apologize for running into you the other day. Well, not for running into you, but for like actually physically bumping you,” Isaac said, an embarrassed flush warming his cheeks. “I’ve noticed you don’t seem to like being touched.”

I laughed again, slightly nervously. He noticed that? Oh, now he probably thinks I’m neurotic. Which… probably wasn’t so far off. 

“No, it wasn’t a big deal. The square was super packed, it happens.” I was pleased at how nonchalant I sounded.

Isaac nodded. “And sorry for you know, interrupting you when you were on a date or whatever–”

“What?” I blurted, entirely lost. 

Isaac glanced at me.

“You were with that um guy? He had his arms on you? I thought…”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I doubled over, cackling.

“No, no.” I sobered when I saw his embarrassed expression. “That, that was my friend Chris.” I said. Then after a beat, “Chris is gay.”

Isaac’s eyes widened and then he was laughing too. He looked relieved in some way, but I wasn’t sure.

“Ah, well. I’m an idiot, sorry about that. I just assumed.”

“No biggie,” I said, still smiling.  

Isaac stared at his feet, kicking at the carpet with his heels.

“So since you’re not dating your gay friend, what are you doing Saturday?” I felt my eyebrows raise in shock. He misinterpreted my expression. “I mean, tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to go, no hard feelings. But I would like to take you out sometime. You know, to see you on purpose instead of randomly bumping into each other.” He smiled lopsidedly.

For some reason, I heard Chris’ voice in my head, urging me to say yes, you idiot!

“Yeah, that sounds great actually.”

It wasn’t until much later that night that I freaked out about it. 

Oh, what have I gotten myself into?

*

This date was lightyears away from my awkward date with John. For one, I had butterflies. Actual butterflies, not the nervous sour awful kind, but the good kind, the kind that made your stomach feel like pop rocks.

For two, Isaac was sitting across from me in the tiny booth of a Jewish deli, which made him look somehow even bigger. Apparently this was his favorite spot, but I’d never been.

I closed my menu. “What should I get?”

Isaac eyed me, tilted his head, as though trying to read what I might like off of my face alone.

“Hot pastrami,” he decided. 

“Okay,” I agreed easily.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get a few things for us to share too. And if you don’t like it, I’ll happily eat your leftovers.”

My head swam with dirty thoughts at that, but luckily the waiter stopped by just then and saved me from having to reply.

“All decided?” 

“Yeah, she’ll have the hot pastrami, and I’ll have the stuffed cabbage, a hushpuppy, and fried kreplach.” 

Isaac gave a stunning smile and handed over our menus. I realized Isaac was someone who was self-assured, content. It was inspiring to me though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t also envious of these attributes.

Still, I couldn’t help but catch some of his infectious good mood and smile back. 

“What in the world is a hushpuppy doing on the menu of a Jewish deli?” I asked.

“Right! I almost forgot you’re a southerner. Oh boy, you’re gonna love this, it’s a kosher hot dog, wrapped in mashed potatoes and baked until it gets all golden brown.” He leaned back and made a sound somewhere between a moan of please and ‘yum’. 

“Oh my God,” I laughed. His stomach was looking quite plump from this angle.

I took a fortifying sip of iced water. 

There was a tiny bit of awkward silence; my lack of experience on dates was making my arms itch.

“I’m wondering how to ask ‘tell me about yourself?’ without actually asking that,” Isaac said in faux seriousness. His eyes were alight with humor.

“Hmmm, that is a tricky one. You could always go with the classics. What do you do in your free time? Favorite color? Dog or cat person?” I trailed off, unable to think of any others. Isaac was laughing in earnest now though, so I suppose I’d done enough.

“Well, I like reading, watching movies, being with family, you know. All that wholesome stuff.” Isaac leaned forward and I was again taken aback by how stunning his smile was. “Favorite color… that’s tough. Maybe red? I maintain the right to change that answer anytime though,” he said, pointing at me. 

“I’ll allow it,” I replied.

“And I’m a dog person. Now you go.”

I looked up, thinking. “I like reading, movies are good too. When I’m bored, I like going outside, walking, that sort of thing. Um, my favorite color’s got to be magenta. And I like cats and dogs equally.”

“Ah, now we’ve covered all the bases, haven’t we?” Isaac teased. 

“Oh, definitely.”

Isaac glanced past me, and I turned to see our waiter heading our way.

“Oh, finally. I’m starving,” Isaac whispered conspiratorially.

My meal was placed in front of me, and I was shocked at how much food was here.

An open-faced sandwich, pilled high and surrounded by french fries. 

But Isaac’s was even more full, plus the extras he’d ordered on top of his meal. Our table was crammed with plates of food.

*

We chatted a bit while we ate, but less so. Mostly because Isaac’s mouth was constantly filled. 

I tapped out after eating about half of my food, but Isaac insisted I try a bit of stuffed cabbage, the weird potato hotdog, and the kreplach (which was actually very delicious). 

I was rambling about the leaky sink in my apartment, which my landlord was resolutely ignoring, when Isaac finished the last of his food.

“You want mine?” I asked, pushing my plate towards him. 

Isaac groaned, but nodded. He looked like he wanted to lay down, but he sat forward and stuffed bite after bite of my sandwich into his mouth until it was gone. 

I pinched my thigh so hard it was likely to bruise, but it didn’t help.

I wanted to peel off the tight sweater, unbutton those slacks, feel that big bloated belly under my fingertips. 

But, well. That was weird. Even if your date glutted himself out in front of you, you didn't have any right to feel them up. Right?

The waiter came by and picked up our empty plates, and Isaac ordered a coffee. He was probably very full, I thought to myself. Maybe he needed to digest a bit before he got up.

“Ahhh,” Isaac sighed into his coffee.  “You know, I used to be a college athlete. Now I feel like I just ran a mile when all I did was stuff my face.”

He was probably going for self-depricating.

But, God, if that didn’t do something to me.

I felt my face go hot. I crossed my legs, but that made it worse. 

“Oh, what’d you play?” I asked, as though I didn’t already know from my cyberstalking.

“Hockey,” he said. “Did you ever play any sports?”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t very interested in extracurriculars,” I said.

Isaac drained the last of his coffee and twisted his wrist to check his watch. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to keep you so late,” he said, startled. 

“It’s no problem. I’m glad to be here,” I said. He met my eyes and smiled. I melted a little.

Isaac paid the bill even though I offered to split it.

“You can get it next time,” he’d promised, and that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

We walked back towards my building. It was chilly, and so my hands were in my coat pockets. That was probably safer. If my hands were free I’d probably try to do something stupid like touch him.

All too soon, we were approaching the front steps. 

“Thank you for dinner! I had a really great time,” I said. It was my usual line, but this time I meant it very sincerely.

“Catherine, I hope this isn’t too forward, but I’d really like to see you again.”

My breath caught.

“I’d like that too,” I agreed.

Isaac took a deliberate step closer to me. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” I squeaked, voice too breathy, too quiet in the air between us.

He squinted at me. Licked his lips.

“Do you want me to?” he asked.

I nodded, shivering.

Isaac seemed to steel himself. His hands reached out to cup my face, not touching, but hovering just a bit away from my jaw. “Can I touch you?”

I leaned towards his hands. “Yes,” I whispered. 

Isaac’s hand cupped my face, reeling me in. His other hand made its way to the small of my back, a comforting weight. The places where his hands were touching me felt electric. I slowly wound my arms around his neck. 

He leaned in so incredibly slowly that I was nearly vibrating with want by the time our lips collided. 

It was soft, hesitant, at first. Then I gave into it, letting myself lean against him. His belly pushed into my abdomen, and it was more satisfying than my fantasies had ever led me to believe. His head tilted, and our mouths slid together more securely. 

I made a needy noise in the back of my throat and he held me tighter. 

For once in my life, my mind and body were attuned as one, reacting the same. This passion, this longing, it was mirrored in the way Isaac held onto me, as though I was something precious. As though he didn’t want to let me go.  

*

Sometimes I have these thoughts that make no sense. I know they’re not logical, that they’re well… crazy. But I still have them.

I remember one time I spiraled really bad. My brain convinced me that no one even knew me. No one had ever known me, really. That no one cared about my existence. If I died, it wouldn’t matter. Nothing mattered. That I was invisible and unwanted and I had to text my sister Ciara to make it stop.

ME: You care about me right?

She’d texted back after a few minutes.

CIARA: Of course

And I didn’t believe her. But I put on a youtube video and after a few hours of mindless  media consumption I remembered that my family loved me. 

*

I was trying really hard to keep Isaac from seeing me spiral. 

Usually when I had those weird trains of thought it took time to dig myself out. For rational thought to finally wrestle its way back into my mind. 

But I’d been spending a lot of time with Isaac. And that meant the chances of revealing my fully unhinged self to him increased. 

I know about probabilities okay, I’m a data specialist. 

But, after our fantastic first date, Isaac and I started seeing each other with regularity. We would eat lunch together, sometimes in the staff lounge, but sometimes if we had time, we’d walk to a bodega and get a sub or something. 

And a few times a week we would make plans to see each other after work. We texted in between dates, or during the work day. I spied my contact in his phone and noticed there was a heart emoji next to my name. 

It was quickly becoming ‘dating’ rather than ‘seeing each other’. I wanted to ask about being in an exclusive relationship, but I’d yet to get the nerve. 

But being with Isaac was just great. It really was. The more I learned about him, the more I liked him.

I really liked him.

And I noticed, because I spent so much time with him now, that Isaac seemed to be intentionally getting fat. 

There were a few signs which led me to this conclusion:

Isaac would push himself to eat as much as he could at every meal even if he was full, groaning and subtly rubbing the sides of his gut, he’d still eat more.

Isaac bought a whole new set of clothes, which was only practical. BUT! But he bought them… big. That’s right, they were baggy on him. Which… why would someone do that if they weren’t expecting to keep getting bigger?

Isaac was probably onto me and my weird fetishes and he almost seemed to be leaning into it. Because he would say things, provocatively, but still subtle enough that it wasn’t super obvious, about his weight gain. 

I remember one time we’d gotten ice cream and were walking around central park. Isaac had eaten a huge meatball sub for lunch and I could tell he was pretty stuffed. But he still suggested ice cream with a glint in his eye. And he tracked my reaction closely, I could feel the heat on my cheeks, I’m sure my pupils were dilating a little. And then he’d pushed his stomach out further, ‘stretching his back’ and a sliver of his belly peaked out from beneath his shirt. 

“Oh, I guess I probably didn’t need that ice cream,” he said, tugging his shirt down and smoothing a hand over his rounded belly. It was a ball, defying gravity and sticking straight out. The rest of him was starting to fill out a bit more as well, but his belly was by far the most obvious feature. 

I stammered, mind going blank until I eventually mumbled something about ice cream being delicious.

Isaac smiled knowingly and took my hand. He put it on his side, where his puffy love handle met his back in a roll. It wasn’t inherently weird, couples touched each other’s sides casually. But.

But Isaac watched me so closely and I let my hand do what it wanted, to sink into that flabby flesh.

And Isaac sort of, smirked? Not condescendingly. More… secretly pleased.

And after that it became normal for Isaac to initiate touching around his midsection. 

Because of who I am as a person, I wasn’t ever the one initiating these touches, because I was too nervous. But Isaac seemed to like it when my hands were on him. And I liked it to.

And so it became normal for Isaac to put my hands on his gut after a big meal and I’d lightly run my hands along his bloated belly, taught after a binge. 

But what we didn’t do was talk about it. 

*

Until I walked into what seemed like a fairly tense conversation.

“Why am I always the bad guy when I’m trying to look out for you?” John hissed, a whisper that was scathing in its intensity.

I stopped short of coming into the doorway of Isaac’s office, shocked.

“You’re not the bad guy, I’m just sick of your nagging. I don’t need it and I don’t want it.” Isaac’s reply was calmer, but still intense. 

“Jesus christ.” John sounded like he’d begun pacing, letting out exasperated sounds as he did so.

“You’re my oldest friend. You should support me, fat or thin,” Isaac said quietly, and his voice sounded so… sad. 

I knew I shouldn’t be eavesdropping but it felt too dangerous to try and back away now that they’d gotten so quiet. 

John let out a wounded noise. “It’s not that I’m upset you’re fat. I love you, no matter what you look like. But you’re not letting me help you get this weight under control. And that hurts.” It sounded like a tired argument, like John had been trying it for some time now to no avail. 

“I’m gonna be late for Catherine,” Isaac said coldly, a clear dismissal. 

I panicked, and slowly inched backwards, trying to act like I’d just rounded the corner.

Isaac walked out of his office right as I approached, and I forced a casual smile onto my face. 

“Hey! So, I was thinking we could try this Indian place? I read they have really good deals on Thursdays,” Isaac said, perfectly normal. As though nothing happened. 

“Sounds great,” I said. 

Later, after Isaac had eaten his fill of butter chicken and naan, we went back to my apartment.

It wasn’t like that. We hadn’t been doing anything more than kissing. And Isaac seemed good with that. He hadn’t asked, let alone pressured me like I’d expected he would after a few dates. I wondered if I should feel mad that he hadn’t. Maybe he didn’t find me attractive?

But, sometimes when we hugged, I could, ah, feel  how attracted he was to me. So that probably wasn’t it. 

I put on an action movie and we snuggled close. He carefully draped my arm across his belly, where it puffed out under his chest. I squeezed in closer and he laughed softly over my head. 

The movie was terrible, but in a really awesome way. The protagonist had just strutted away from a collapsing building as it blew up behind him when Isaac spoke. 

“Would you judge me if I said I was hungry again?”

I wet my lips, feeling overwhelmed.

“No,” I said. That seemed like a safe answer. Then I realized I was being a bad host. “Would you like something? I have some girl scout cookies, or if you want something more I have frozen pizza rolls?”

I could hear my mee-maw’s voice in my head tutting at me for not having anything freshly baked to offer my guest. 

“I could go for both, if that’s okay.”

I squeezed Isaac tighter and then let go to get his cookies and pizza rolls. My face and neck were probably visibly red from arousal and embarrassment. I felt like a kid who’d just been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. But I wasn’t. I was just putting pizza rolls into my air fryer and getting cookies out of my cupboard. 

I grabbed a can of sprite out of my fridge, because he probably wanted something to drink. And well. Soda had bubbles. It’d make Isaac a little more bloated… I need professional help. 

“Samoas! My favorite! I’ll totally buy you a new box, don’t worry.” Isaac quickly opened the box and shoved a cookie into his mouth. 

I smiled, didn’t trust my voice to say anything, and turned back towards the movie. I snuggled in close, but didn’t wrap myself around Isaac like I’d been doing earlier so his hands were free to eat. 

It was strange that I loved touching Isaac when normally contact with other human beings made me feel gross. I’d yet to fully understand that.

But anyways, Isaac stuffed his face with cookies, pausing to drink his soda and letting out little burps as he did so. He’d always mutter, “Excuse me,” when he did. I shifted, feeling something stir inside me. I wanted so much it was making me antsy. 

Then the pizza rolls were done, so I put them on a plate and came back. 

I saw the empty cookie box and smiled to myself. 

Isaac was looking very bloated. His big ol’ gut was puffed out, and it drooped a little into his lap. He still had those crazy big shoulders, but they looked proportional. His arms had softened up, a little flabby. I rested my head on one and sighed. I could hear, feel, and see Isaac steadily eating his way through the pizza rolls. He was groaning a little. Clearly full, but desperate for a little more. 

When he finished, he tried to reach over and put the plate down on the coffee table, but he couldn’t quite get there with his big bloated belly so stuffed and tender, so he gave up and set it down next to him on the couch. 

“God, thanks. No wonder I’m getting so fat. Been eating like a damn fiend lately.”

My face was most definitely beet red, so I just nuzzled under his arm and put myself back into my old position. Isaac let himself be maneuvered until I was comfortable.  

“I’m…” Isaac started but then trailed off. The movie was ending, the protagonist kissing some sexy twenty-something as a pop rock song came on.

“Mmm what?” I asked drowsily. He was so warm and soft. His tummy was gurgling, trying to digest. 

“I’m not reading into things am I?” Isaac paused and I waited for him to continue. “You like this too?” He patted the side of his belly.

I leaned away from him to look at his face. It was pink, but he held my gaze unflinchingly.

I took a breath. “No, you’re not reading into things.”

Isaac broke out into his signature grin.

“Thank fuck,” he said vehemently. I smiled back, feeling relief and simultaneously immense panic.

“So, you- you are gaining weight on purpose?” I asked hesitantly. 

“Er, yeah.” Isaac scratched at his neck. “It’s like. Well. We should probably just be honest, huh?”

He looked nervous, I realized. I’d never seen him like that.

“Yeah. Honest.”

He nodded. “So, I’ve always wanted to get fat. I mean, I was a little chubby as a kid, but then I got into sports so I kind of had to stay in shape. But now that I can afford to, you know, buy tons of food and new clothes…” He laughed sheepishly. “I figured why not? So I started like, doing stuffings and. Yeah. I like it.” Isaac’s face was a little pink but he was beaming.

I didn’t quite know what to say. 

Isaac nudged me. “What about you? Is that why you didn’t go on a second date with John? Because he’s a toothpick?”

His words had some humor to them but I could sense genuine curiosity underneath.

“Yeah, I mean. I wasn’t, um, attracted to him. Or, really. Anybody. Until you.”

It felt like a huge admission. Isaac rubbed my back and I felt better. 

“So, I guess we should discuss, like what things we’re into? And what we aren’t.”

That seemed very sensible so I nodded. 

“For me,” Isaac said. “I want to keep gaining. I don’t have a goal weight or anything right now, but I know I’m not fat enough yet.” He smacked his belly for emphasis. I tracked the movement, felt my face heat. He watched me, and it was like some invisible wall was down and I knew that he knew I was hot all over at the sight. “But I’m into stuffing, obviously. I would definitely be down for you to stuff me, if that’s something you’d be into.”

“I-I would definitely be into that,” my mouth said without my consent. But Isaac thought my reaction was funny, or cute. He was smiling at me indulgently. 

“Alright. So you like watching me eat, you’d be interested in helping me eat… What else?”

I took a second to think. 

“I think maybe like, trying on old clothes? Keeping rough track of your weight. Like, maybe occasionally taking measurements, but mainly just having you weigh yourself sometimes to see your progress…” I realized as I started speaking that these desires had been brimming under the surface for such a long time. I’d never been able to imagine I’d ever get to do any of them though. 

“Alright, that’s very doable. Any hard limits?” Isaac asked. 

“I don’t want to be, you know, mean to you. I know some people are into degradation but, um. No, I won’t do that.” 

Isaac nodded. “Not a problem. I think it’s the same for me. I want to be carefree, let my gluttony run wild.”

“You seem to be doing well at that so far,” I said and patted the biggest part of his belly. 

He laughed and hugged me close to him. 

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you like me like this,” he whispered, a little serious. 

I melted into his embrace. “Me too.” 

*

CHIRS: how’s it going with ur boytoy ;)

ME: good! 

ME: I think we’re very compatible. 

CHRIS: when do i get to properly meet this man

ME: Idk i'll plan something soon and let you know

*

We planned to have a big stuffing day on the weekend. Isaac said he wanted to test his capacity at eating all day. And I suggested we keep track of the calories so we’d know how much to aim for next time.

I was freakishly excited about it. 

I got a ton of calorie-rich groceries delivered – store made cakes, frozen pizzas, premade dumplings, and tons of snack foods. And we planned to order takeout periodically depending on Isaac’s cravings.

I had a journal ready where I was going to jot down everything Isaac would be able to eat that day. Maybe it was a little Type A of me, but hey, for once my neurotic brain was working with me. 

 Isaac picked up a dozen donuts on his way to my apartment that morning, and by the time he arrived on my doorstep, he’d already eaten two. 

“Sorry,” he’d said but I shushed him.

“You’re a growing boy.” I watched Isaac’s eyes glaze over a little. I quickly ushered him to the couch where he’d spend the majority of the day. 

Now, the real fun could begin!

*

The day was off to a wonderful start. I was, possibly for the first time, truly letting myself look at Isaac the way I wanted to. 

Lustily, adoringly. 

He’d always had an imposing figure, with his height and abnormally wide shoulders. He was naturally big. And of course his new weight was extenuating these features quite nicely. His belly was the most obviously pudgey area, but I noticed that his jaw was softening and his arms, while still looking well-muscled where they poked out of his t-shirt, were looking softer as well. Likewise his chest had lost definition, but not mass. I wanted to straddle his lap and let my hands sink into those soft mounds above his belly, really feel how fluffy they were getting.

I felt surprised at my own reaction, how bad my body wanted. God, Isaac made me lose my head a little. 

Isaac got comfortable and proceeded to eat half of the dozen donuts, sipping on some whole milk to wash them down, before he took a short break.

We were watching some legal drama on TV and I rubbed his belly a little, which was jigglier than usual. Probably because it was the morning and he hadn’t eaten enough for it to be taut and full. My hand looked comically small in comparison to his big tummy. 

After a while Isaac went back to the donuts and somehow finished another three in quick succession. The last three were more of a chore. He was pretty full and the donuts were dense. 

“Just a little more,” I said, and pushed bites past his lips. 

Isaac groaned, but dutifully ate bite after bite until they were all gone. 

We kissed for a while after that, and he tasted like donuts. His hands were latched around my waist. It made me feel unreasonably hot when I realized how big his hands were on my sides; his fingertips were nearly touching where they curved around my ribs.

But after about a half an hour Isaac said he was no longer completely full and so I got him some chips and salsa.

“Hmm, this is really good,” Isaac said between bites.

“Let me try one,” I said. It was pretty good. Salty chips and sweet salsa that had a slight kick once you swallowed.

I got up and grabbed my notebook.

12 donuts

Half a bag of tortilla chips & salsa 

“It feels a bit like you’re studying me for science when you write like that.” 

I glanced up, blushing.

“Sorry,” I said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

“I don’t mind being a science project. At least, not when you’re doing it,” Isaac said with a shrug.

I felt warm and fuzzy inside. 

By now his belly was filling up, not really a true bloat just yet, but getting there. I put a frozen pizza in the oven. 

“Seemed like this would be easier,” Isaac said, leaning as far back as he could. His belly was pushed out and he rubbed the sides of it consolingly. “I feel like I eat a ton normally, but having so much so early in the day is making me feel like a total blimp.”

I hummed and made my way behind the couch, put my hands on his shoulders and started gently massaging them.

He sighed in contentment. 

The oven dinged and I hopped up to get the pizza out.

“You don’t have to eat it all now,” I said, handing Isaac a big plate filled with pizza.

Isaac groaned but started eating dutifully. 

“Yeah I do,” he said between bites. “Won’t taste as good reheated.”

I laughed.

I watched, transfixed, as Isaac shoved slice after slice into his mouth. His belly bloated bigger and bigger. 

Isaac paused to drink some water. “Salty,” he muttered.

“Let me,” I said as I reached to unbutton his jeans. He looked relieved as I pulled the zipper down and his belly was able to spill forward a little. It wasn’t big enough to really hang down, but Isaac spread his legs anyway. Gave himself a bit more room.

Isaac rubbed the red line where his jeans had been cutting into his belly a little, and then went back to eating.

He couldn’t possibly be hungry at all. In fact, he’d looked like he was getting to a point of overfullness where he looked a little queasy. 

“Fuck me,” Isaac groaned when he picked up the final slice.

I ran a soothing hand over the dome of his belly. 

He finished the slice.

Isaac fell asleep when I went to wash some of the dishes. He looked so cute with his shirt pulled up to his belly button, jeans open, and head tilted back against the couch.

I felt a fluttery feeling in my chest and I knew I was in trouble.

I made myself a sandwich and cleaned up a bit, trying not to be a creep and just watch Isaac sleep. But I did glance over often. He was just so cute. 

Isaac woke up around 3 and I put out some snacks, trail mix and pretzels, which Isaac grazed on a little.

For dinner, I ordered chinese. 

Isaac got crab rangoons, kung pao chicken, and lo mein. I got garlic chicken. 

“God, I’m still stuffed. Haven’t been hungry since 9 this morning,” Isaac groaned. Still, he loaded up his plate and sat back. 

“You’re doing so well,” I said supportively. “Eating a lot at once probably takes some practice. You know? Just like anything else.”

Isaac eyed me. “You’re saying we should do this more often? For training, of course?”

I blushed but nodded at him.

“Good with me,” Isaac said. 

He slowed down by the time his first entree was gone. He’d eaten about half of the crab rangoons. 

I was finished with my portion, had put the rest in the fridge for my lunch tomorrow. 

I let myself do what I wanted to do all day and swung my leg over him, got onto his lap.

Isaac seemed surprised but not at all bothered to have me in his lap.

“Let me,” I said, taking the plate from him. I filled the fork and lifted it to his lips.

“Mmm,” he mumbled into the bite. He relaxed further, let me keep putting food into his mouth until he groaned for a break. I put the plate aside, felt his bloated belly. It was thick with all of the food he’d eaten. Puffed out and stiff under my fingers. I was gentle as I ran my hands along his stomach.

He burped into his fist a few times, which I think gave him a bit more room.

“I can take more now,” he said. 

I fed him bite after bite until it was gone, until he’d eaten everything. I got up to put the dishes in the sink. When I came back, Isaac was huffing and groaning.

“Oh god,” he moaned, holding onto his belly like his hands were the only things keeping it from splitting open.

I bit my lip, felt my insides heat at the sight.

“I’m never getting up again,” he whined. “I think I’m going to live on your sofa forever. Hope you don’t mind.”

“I really don’t mind,” I said, voice like honey. He looked up at me, blushing beet red. 

Eventually Isaac wanted to get vertical, and I helped him up and into my bathroom so he could take a shower.

I used that time to update my notes.

12 donuts, 290 cal each = 3,480 total calories

Half bag of tortilla chips = 980 calories

Two cups of salsa = 134 calories

Frozen pizza = 2,269 calories

About a cup of pretzels = ~300 calories

About two cups of trail mix = 1,386 calories 

Crab rangoons = 732 calories

Kung pao chicken = 781 calories

Lo mein = 897 calories

Total =10,959

“Holy cannoli,” I murmured to myself. 

Isaac walked in shortly after, his hair was wet and he’d put on some comfy sweatpants. 

“You ate almost 11,000 calories today,” I said without preamble.

Isaac sighed, rubbed his big belly.

“Yeah, feels like it. Do you mind if I stay over?”

I’d offered when we had planned this. But it was still nice to be asked, to double check that it was alright.

“Of course.” He smiled a little. “Just, just for sleeping,” I clarified. I was suddenly very embarrassed.

But all Isaac said was, “Good with me.”

That night, when Isaac was completely passed out in a food coma in my bed, I laid wide awake. Once Isaac had fallen asleep, it was like I was alone. Even though he was a few inches from me, I felt totally alone. 

I had been so happy and present in my body while we’d been doing it, when I’d been watching Isaac eat and feeding him myself. But.

But now I felt like a black hole had opened up inside my chest. 

I found myself questioning this whole thing. Is this ethical? Feeding someone? Making them fatter? Even if they want it, there was probably more to it. Was it objectively bad? It didn’t feel like it should be bad but…

I scrolled through my phone, which ended up being a horrible idea. Because I came across some stupid click-bait article about how some young healthy guy had dropped dead after sitting still for too long. A blood clot went to his lungs after a 3 day bender of playing video games and not moving.

And that was the end of that. I threw my phone onto my side table and sat up. I paced.

 Didn’t want to wake Isaac.

But I also really wanted to wake up Isaac. Because what if he had a blood clot? What if him sitting on my couch all day, and then laying down on my bed all night, was going to kill him?

I knew I was being crazy, but I was actually about two seconds from losing it, and so I woke Isaac up. 

I shook his shoulder. 

“Mm?” Isaac mumbled, stirring a bit.

When his eyes opened I was entirely mortified. 

What was I supposed to say? I’ve been having this irrational fear that if you don't stand up and walk around for a bit you’re going to die.

No. No, I couldn’t. But now he was looking at me with concern, his brows pulling together in concern. 

“I,” I began but nothing else was forthcoming. 

“What’s wrong? Catherine?”

My ears were buzzing.

“Um,” I said. And promptly started tearing up. 

“Shit, c’mere,” Isaac said, pulling me into his arms. 

I allowed this for a moment, because being against his soft body felt nice, but the anxieties were still there, brimming under my skin.

“No,” I said, pulling away. “C-can you, yeah come,” I said, disjointedly, but Isaac allowed himself to be pulled to his feet by me. 

“Okay, what are we doing?” Isaac asked. I intertwined our arms and started dragging Isaac towards the bedroom door. He was being a remarkably good sport about all this, I noticed. If someone had woken me out of a dead sleep, started crying on me, and then 30 seconds later was tugging me around their apartment, I would probably be livid. 

“Walk with me,” I said instead of actually answering. I led him around the perimeter of the living room, like it was a track. 

“So, is there a reason I’m walking laps instead of sleeping right now?” Isaac asked. There was a lightness to his tone, but it couldn’t completely disguise his worry. 

Seeing him, up and about, acting fine, made me absolutely mortified at my overreaction. But it was also so relieving. See, brain? He’s fine. 

“I, well. I get like this sometimes,” I started. My palms were sweaty. I wiped them on my pajama pants. “Like, I have stupid thoughts and I don’t know how to shut them up. So, um, we’re walking so I can prove to myself that my brain is actually wrong and you’re fine.” 

It was more than I meant to say, but Isaac hummed, kept walking with me. He seemed to be letting my words marinate. 

“Did your brain convince you that I was in fact, not fine?” Isaac asked after a moment.

I shrugged helplessly. “Yeah.”

I saw Isaac nod in my periphery. “And what made your brain think that?”

It was a fair question. Isaac was taking this pretty well, all things considered. I mean, if he dumped me after this, I would understand. But for now, he was still walking with me. Still had my arm in his. 

“It’s, you were sitting all day. And, well. I don’t want you to get a blood clot.” I mumbled, getting quieter towards the end of my sentence. 

“I see,” Isaac said. “So next time I should get up and walk a bit when we’re doing stuffings. Do you think that’ll help ease your worries?”

I stopped walking and Isaac did too. I looked up at him. I was sure my face was red but I didn't really care.  

“You still want to do this again?” I whispered.

Isaac smiled. “Course. But I would like to make sure you don’t get so worried next time.” He ran his hands down the sides of my arms reverently.

I felt my eyes water, with exhaustion or emotion, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t trust my voice, so I just leaned in to hug him. 

“Okay. Do you feel better? Think you can get some sleep now?” Isaac asked, rubbing my back.

I nodded into his chest.

He ushered me back into bed, pulled the covers over me, pulled me into his arms. 

“You still like me, even though I’m sort of crazy?” I asked in the dark. It was easier when I wasn’t able to see his face.

Isaac exhaled a soft laugh.

“You’re not crazy.” I huffed in disbelief and he amended, “Not actually crazy. An understandable sort of crazy. And why would that make not like you? Have you seen you?” Isaac tsked and I couldn’t help but grin. It wasn’t like I didn’t know Isaac was attracted to me, but it still left me a little breathless to hear him mention it.

“I guess that’s understandable,” I huffed.

I felt Isaac kiss my forehead.

“Go to sleep.”

So I did. 

*

Isaac had told me in college he’d been about 170 lbs. He’d gotten a little fluffier over the years, putting his best estimate at being around 190 when he’d been first introduced to me. But since then, he’d started gaining on purpose, putting on almost 40 pounds from October to December. I recalled how noticeable that gain was, how it seemed like so much difference in such a small amount of time. It had been evident in his big belly, how it rounded out in front of him. But still, at 6’3, 227 lbs wasn’t all that much. He’d just looked beefy. A sort of imposing figure softened with a pudgy middle. 

But that wasn’t the case any longer. Isaac had graduated from dad bod firmly into chubby territory. By March, Isaac was sitting at a solid 269. And boy did it show. 

Ever since my mortifying spiral, Isaac had been so insanely accommodating of my illogical worries, it made me feel simultaneously like crap and also feel so amazingly warm. And he’d talked me down from a few freakouts since then. Mostly it had to do with me thinking that Isaac was going to get sick and die (he did neither). And Isaac reassured me by getting a checkup (he had a clean bill of health) and eating lots of vegetables (because I remembered scurvy existed). 

We still hadn’t had sex. 

But at this point, I was waiting for Isaac to bring it up. It felt like I’d let it go too long without saying anything and now it would be awkward to bring it up… 

Still, I had never even thought that I could find someone who would like me once they got to know me. Or more accurately, that I would be able to feel attraction for someone who felt the same about me. And so really, sex with Isaac was as terrifying as it was exciting to think about. I would be alright if we held off a little longer.

*

“And then Isaac made me watch this movie with him, oh gosh, it’s so funny, I can’t even remember the name of it, but you’d love it. I’ll ask him later and text you the title.” I was rambling about Isaac. Had been for the last 10 minutes, I knew, but as I was folding my laundry before 6 in the morning, I was too tired to care.

“So I take it you and Isaac are doing pretty well?” Chris asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah,” I hummed rather dreamily. “We’re exclusive now, did I tell you that?”

“Um, no you certainly did not!” Chris gave me his best disappointed dad look.

I laughed. “Well, we are. An item that is. I should be like, carving our initials into a tree at this point.” 

Chris barked a laugh. “You really like him don’t you?” Chris teased, but his gaze was far too knowing for comfort. I don’t know what my face did, but it only spurred Chris on. “Oh my god, you’re falling in loveeee.” He sang, clutching boxer briefs to his chest dramatically. At least they were fresh out of the dryer.

“Shut up,” I mumbled, but I couldn't keep a grin off my face. 

“I need to meet this guy. Like, meet him as your partner. Because, I know I met him. But. Really, it’s gone on long enough, I need to give him the shovel talk. You should take him out this weekend, I have a gig at Celia’s.”

It was tempting, if only because Chris, or Moxie, as was his stage name, was a really good performer. And I sort of did want Isaac to meet my friends. Who all happened to be gay in some way. Huh, I wonder if that factored into my ability to connect with other people somehow. I was weird as heck, a girl whose sexuality was basically ‘bellies’. But well, the LGBT+ community had always been a kind of haven for whomever society deemed to be outcasts or weirdos…

“Yeah, I’ll ask him today,” I said, and Chris squealed in delight. He was way too chipper for 5:47 am if you asked me. But, he also hadn’t gone to bed yet.

“Ask him,” Chris said, giving me a warning finger pointed my way. He stuffed all his clothes into his basket without folding them. Ugh, such a guy. 

*

After almost 3 months of dating, Isaac and I attended our first work banquet together. You know, as a couple. 

“Does this tie make me look like an asshole?” Isaac asked. 

I watched as Isaac fiddled with his collar in my bathroom mirror. It was a bit tight where his neck was getting thicker, a double chin imminent. I focused my attention on the tie. It had four leaf clovers on it. 

“I think it’s fun,” I said. I was straightening my hair, trying to get my hair to lay flat, but it wasn’t going as well as planned. I probably needed an actual silk press, but who had time for that?

“Well, if Catherine thinks it’s fun, it must be,” Isaac said.  

I shoved Isaac’s chest playfully. My hand sunk a little bit into his plushy flesh and I bit my lip. 

“Almost ready?” he asked. Isaac’s eyes were dark, and his arm wound around my waist. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

We arrived at the banquet on time. 

The banquet was a lot more fun with Isaac at my side. I never realized how isolated I had made myself at these events. I thought it was because I didn't want to make small talk, but I don’t think that was true. I just didn’t feel comfortable. But with Isaac there, it was easy. He knew everybody. Everyone seemed to like him. And by proxy, they liked me because I’m Isaac’s girlfriend. As the night went on, I talked more, opening up and chatting with new people. I hardly talked to Layla at all, and I honestly didn't miss it. 

Dinner was another mediocre affair, roasted potatoes and a small filet of salmon. But Isaac had hit the appetizer tables pretty hard before, so I figured it would do.

“God, this belt is killing me,” Isaac whispered to me once his plate was clear. I glanced at his belt, and sure enough, it looked tight. Tighter than it had earlier this evening.

“Can’t you loosen it?” I asked. 

He shook his head. “It’s on its last notch.” Isaac’s face was a little proud.

“Oh,” I muttered. My face was probably pink, so I took a sip of water. Isaac laughed a little and placed a big hand on my back. 

I was relieved when we left, though I noticed Isaac had been avoiding John all night. I didn’t want to pry, but they were close friends. I wondered if they’d fought again. But Isaac didn’t tell me those sorts of things. The only reason I suspected it was because of my accidental eavesdropping. Maybe Isaac thought knowing he and his friend were arguing over his weight would make me worry unnecessarily. 

“How far is Celia’s from here?” Isaac asked once we’d started walking. The March air was brisk, but it felt sort of nice. 

“Five blocks,” I said. “Did you eat too much?” It hadn't seemed like it.

Isaac shook his head. “Hardly. It’s this fucking belt. Feel like it’s cutting me in half.”

I pulled us to the side of the walk way. 

“What’re you doing?” Isaac asked when I reached for his pants. I said nothing but smiled in a way I hoped was attractive. 

Though it wasn’t easy, eventually I was able to unhook the belt and pull it off.

Isaac laughed. “What, I’m supposed to carry that all night now?”

I shook my head. “It won’t fit ever again, right?” I asked. His eyes glazed over a bit, and he shook his head. “Right,” I said, and tossed the belt into a trash bin. 

“Ready to go?” I asked innocently. Isaac kissed me hard.

The bar called Celia’s was disgusting. But also very very cool. The floor probably contained diseases unknown to modern medicine, but the atmosphere was so fun and energetic, it hardly even mattered.

“PEACH!!!” I had hardly made it through the threshold, but somehow Sid had already spotted us. I gave Isaac a sympathetic glance and tugged him towards the bar where Sid and our friends were standing.

I could hardly hear over the music, but somehow Sid’s voice still boomed.

“Oh my god, Peach I’ve missed you! You get a boyfriend and all the sudden you’re not free every weekend to hang out. It’s so sad! Oh, and you’re the boyfriend,” Sid shouted, looking from me to Isaac. He wasn’t slurring but he was most definitely drunk.

“That would be me,” Isaac said. He was taller than mostly everyone, and he just seemed to take up so much space in the crowded bar. It was hot, I had to admit.

“Awww, he’s so cute! Guys, look how cute Peach and her boyfriend are,” Sid cooed.

Amy, Ty, and Jinx all mumbled their agreement in their various stages of intoxication. 

“How long until Moxie comes on?” I asked Sid.

Sid checked the time on his phone. “Like, two minutes ago!”

We both cackled. These gigs never stayed on schedule. 

“Do you want a drink?” Isaac whispered in my ear. His hand hovered protectively over my hip, and I leaned into him.

“Just a coke?” I said.

Sid scoffed. “Our Peach is so responsible. I always try to get her drunk at a bar but she refuses.”

Isaac glanced down at me, amused. I huffed, indignant. 

“Who wants to waste $9 on some fancy shot when I could make my own for a fraction of the price. And I could drink it at home where I know I won’t get knapped!”

Sid full on cackled at me. 

“You’re the best Peach, oh wow. I love you!” Sid breathed, pulling me in for a sticky hug.

Isaac returned a few minutes later with my coke and a beer for himself. 

Jinx leaned over to me and drunk-whispered (meaning everyone in a ten mile radius could probably hear them), “You’re dating like, the hottest bear I’ve ever seen.” The way they said it suggested they were well versed on the subject. 

I felt my cheeks turn bright red. 

“Shut up, you’re the worst!” They just laughed at me.

“Ohmyygod, everyone stop, here she comes!” Sid said, grabbing anyone he could reach. This happened to include Isaac’s arm. 

I shrugged in apology, but Isaac seemed only charmed by it.

The lights on the small stage came on and Moxie was there in all her glory. 

She had on a leotard and fishnets, seven inch heels, and a wig big enough to be seen from outer space.

Then a Brittany Spears song came on and Moxie started dancing and lip syncing. She was strutting around the stage like she owned it, and whipping her wig all around. It was so fun to watch. The crowd screamed anytime she looked their way. Sid was the loudest, yelling, “THAT’S MY BABY!” so loud it made me wince.

Moxie ended up doing five songs before introducing the next queen and exiting. 

“What’d you think?” I shouted to Isaac. He had to bend over to hear me over the music.

“She slayed,” Isaac said stone-faced. 

There was something absolutely hilarious about someone as heterosexual and male as Isaac saying ‘slay’ that it made me absolutely weak in the knees. I nearly fell over laughing.

Moxie came out from backstage to mingle with us after a little while. It was fun seeing Isaac have to look up at Moxie, since her heels gave her a height advantage over someone as tall as Isaac. 

“You’re an incredible performer. Um, you have a lot of stage presence,” Isaac was saying.

Moxie absolutely ate it up. 

 She turned to me, pleadingly. 

“Cath, please keep this one? Pretty please?? I like him so much.”

Isaac gave me a smug look, like yes I charmed your friends, of course they love me. 

“Wasn’t planning on getting rid of him,” I said, snuggling up under his arm. 

A chorus of, “Ahh, look at them, they’re so cute! Babies!!!” followed. 

*

“Your friends are way cooler than mine,” Isaac said on the way home. We were huddled in close as we walked to Isaac’s apartment.

I giggled and leaned into his side. 

The air was charged when we reached Isaac’s building. 

I felt a pull from the pit of my stomach. Isaac seemed to feel it too in the way he was avoiding looking at me. His cheeks were pink but I didn't think it was from the cold. 

“Um, do you have a shirt I could borrow?” I asked once I’d gotten my shoes off. Isaac was unbuttoning his collar and it was unreasonably attractive. He nodded and I watched his chin double with the movement. 

“You’re gonna swim in it but here,” Isaac said, handing me a t-shirt. I peeled off my clothes and pulled the shirt over my head. It fell to my mid-thigh. 

“Thanks.”

A loaded silence followed. 

“You tired?” Isaac asked. It was after 2 a.m. 

“No.”

Time seemed to be moving very fast, but it also felt a bit like it was moving slow. Like pouring molasses in January, and also like watching a YouTube video at 1.75 speed. 

Isaac pulled me flush against him, and his belly pressed against my small torso. He cupped my head in his big hands and tilted his face down towards mine. Our lips touched, like they had many times before. 

Nothing about this kiss felt like those though. 

Isaac’s tongue invaded my mouth and I couldn’t hold back a tiny whimper. 

“Cath…”

I pushed my face against his chest, breathing hard. My face felt like it was on fire. 

“Do you…?” Isaac asked. 

Now or never, I thought. 

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I said. Isaac pulled me to his room so fast we almost fell over.

*

Sex was different than I’d imagined it. I don’t know what I thought it’d be like. Maybe some kind of childish delusion was coloring my expectations. ‘True love or stars colliding. But the real version was better. It was flesh on flesh, sweaty and hot. It was laughing when your bodies made a weird squelching noise. It was seeing pores and moles and other imperfections. 

It made me appreciate that I was physically here. That I was with Isaac carnally and he still wanted me. He wanted me so much we went at it twice before dawn. 

We ate leftover Chinese food as the sun came up and it was so perfect. So absolutely astoundingly perfect.

I had the most awful, terrifying thought as I watched the sun shine onto Isaac’s curls. I love him. 

It was horrible and gross and awe-inspiring and amazing and disturbing and great. I felt like my chest was full to bursting. 

After that, Isaac and I grew closer in a lot of ways. For one, we started having sex a lot. Like four or five times a week. Sometimes more. 

For two, Isaac and I got closer emotionally. I learned lots about him as we lay together at night, cuddling naked in the dark.

Isaac’s mom is Catholic and his dad is Jewish. Isaac’s grandma makes the best lemon bars. Isaac doesn't have siblings but his cousin Tyler is basically like a brother to him. 

And Isaac learned about me as well. That my sister Ciara is sort of a mess even though she pretends she’s not. That my dad left when I was 7. That my mom is the nicest person in the world and she deserves everything. 

That I love Isaac.

His face was awe-struck. 

“I love you too, Catherine,” Isaac said. And I had already sort of known that. But it still lit me up inside. 

Isaac hit 300 lbs in June.

It was a huge milestone, and he’d worked hard for it, eating loads to try and put on weight faster. 

“I think I finally got my metabolism to slow down a bit,” Isaac confessed to me. And it was true that he was gaining faster as of late. He’d had to get new clothes. His build was decidedly top-heavy, with his belly easily being the largest feature. It stuck out in front of him, wide and thick and when he sat, it rested on his thighs. His sides started to acquire rolls where his love handles melted into his sides. His face was puffier, with the most kissable cheeks.

It was endlessly attractive to me.

It seemed like everything was going really well for me. At work, I got a promotion that came with a nice raise. I was happier than I’d ever remembered being. 

Maybe I should have figured that it couldn’t last. 

*

“Cath, hey! I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately!” 

I knew that voice even though I didn’t look up from the bathroom sink where I was washing my hands.

“Hey Layla. Yeah, it’s been a busy few months,” I said, plastering on a smile. When I glanced up, I saw her in the mirror a few sinks down. 

“Oh sure, sure!” Layla dried her hands on a paper towel. “I was meaning to ask you, how are things with Isaac?”

I paused, hands still wet. “Good, we’re. We’re good.”

Layla smiled easily. “That’s great. Really, I am happy for you. You know, it was strange when John and I started seeing one another, but I’m so glad you found someone. And John’s best friend no less! Why haven’t we done a double date?”

I felt something twist in my stomach. “I-I don’t know. I suppose you’d have to ask John and Isaac.”

Layla nodded sagely. “Between us, I don’t think they’ve been getting on very well lately.”

I knew this, on some level. Isaac hasn’t been going to the gym with John like he used to. He hadn’t even brought John up in weeks. 

“Oh?” I asked because with Layla, playing dumb usually meant getting the scoop. 

“Yes, it’s quite sad really. Apparently John was worried about Isaac’s weight. Well, you know, he has gotten rather uh portly. I’m sure you’ve noticed that,” Layla said with a knowing smile. I shot a strained one back at her so she’d continue. “And I know John maybe went about it the wrong way, but he does have a point. It can’t be healthy, gaining so much weight so fast.”

My eyes burned.

“It’s not really John’s business.”

Layla seemed surprised by the surliness of my tone. 

“Of course not.” Her tone was placating. I left the bathroom without a goodbye. 

All throughout the rest of the work day, I tried putting Layla’s comments out of my mind. She was just saying that to justify John’s judgmental comments. 

But there was probably some kind of truth to what she was saying. Isaac was gaining loads of weight in a short amount of time. It was over 100 lbs at this point in about a year. But Isaac was keeping his strength up with weights. He was building muscle too. He was a big guy to begin with, and his frame could carry the extra weight without issue. 

I tried to think rationally about it, but my brain, as usual, wanted to sabotage these efforts. 

Later, Isaac and I went back to my place. We picked up middle eastern food and I watched Isaac eat two entrees and an impressive amount of pita bread. 

I tried not to let it bother me, but I guess it was showing on my face because Isaac asked, “What’s wrong?”

I pushed a piece of shish tawook around my plate. 

“Uh, well. Layla said something to me earlier and it’s just… you know how I get,” I said with a self-deprecating smile. 

Isaac frowned. 

“What did she say? Exactly?” Isaac’s voice was hard. Not angry exactly, but close. 

I shrugged a little. “Just, you know. That you’d gained a lot and that it couldn’t be, er healthy.” I glanced down at my lap where my hands were picking at my pants nervously.

“Catherine. Come ‘ere.”

I looked up and Isaac was pushing his seat back from the table and gesturing to his open lap. I couldn’t help but smile as I got up and let him pull me onto his lap.

“You know I’m healthy. I got a clean bill of health at my checkup.”

I nodded because I did know that. I just needed reminding.

“Yeah,” I said quietly.

 Isaac rubbed my back and I felt better almost immediately. I was like a cat; if I could purr, I probably would be right then.

“So it doesn't matter what Layla says. Because you know that I’m healthy. And we both like how I look now.” 

I felt a wash of self-hatred at that moment. I was constantly needing Isaac’s reassurances. He was the one gaining weight. He was the one who’d have to deal with the judgment of others. Not me. And yet her I was, needy and sad after one comment. It was horribly pathetic. 

“I’m sorry,” I said into his neck. Isaac sighed.

“Don’t apologize. I sort of like that you care so much about it,” Isaac said, a little lighter.

I smiled despite myself. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You actually give a damn about my health. Some people would probably get off on me eating like a fatass and then run for the hills if I got a health scare. So, yes. I’m glad you’re like this.”

I felt myself grin and I swatted his arm lightly.

“Shut up.”

Isaac’s laugh made his belly shake a little against me and god it felt so nice. 

*

Everything fell apart one weekend in July. 

“Come on, it’ll still be here on Monday,” Isaac said from the chair beside me. Our office was empty but for us and the custodian. 

“The report’s supposed to be in before 8:00 am on Monday,” I whined. I rubbed my eyes freely since I hadn’t even put on makeup. It was horrendous that I’d received the data sheets so late, but some of the higher ups were always putting off their work until the last minute. Meaning I usually ended up staying after hours to get things done. Vienna had offered to help, but since she had plans with her family this weekend, I waved her off. I was sort of regretting it now, though.

Isaac stood slowly. He’d gained another 15 pounds and it showed. His belly jiggled more, his face was rounder, and his arms were feeling flabbier than ever. He put his chunky hands on my shoulders and rubbed a little to ease their tenseness. 

“How much more do you think? It’s almost 7.”

I glanced at the report, which was about 80% done, and back at the clock. 

“Maybe another hour?” I said. “You don’t have to stay, obviously.” 

Isaac smiled like what I’d said was funny. “Okay, how’s this? I’m going to run across the street to that Italian place we like. I’ll get a mountain of takeaway. And by the time I get back, if you’re done with the report, I’ll let you feed it to me.”

I felt my cheeks heat. 

“You’re bribing me with feeding sessions now?”

Isaac laughed, a deep, unself-conscious sound. “No, I’m incentivizing you. Do we have a deal or what?”

I glanced at his belly, imagining how swollen it’d look after three huge entree portions. 

“Deal.”

Once Isaac had kissed the top of my head and left, I got to work. 

I took a deep breath and focused on my report. I tried not to rush myself, because that might cause me to make mistakes, and fixing mistakes would take longer than doing it correctly from the start. 

I worked, hyper focused, more intently tuned in on my report than I had been able to be all day, for the next forty minutes. 

The custodian told me he was leaving and then asked me to set the alarm on my way out, and then I was alone. I finished the document, attached it to an email and was cc-ing my boss when Isaac walked in. He was carrying three heaping bags full of steaming-hot food, which he put down on a nearby desk with a heavy thunk.

“Done?” he asked with an excited eyebrow raise. I finished typing out the address, looked over the email one last time, and hit send. 

Yep!” I leaned back in the office chair, pushing away from my desk and getting enough momentum to send my chain spinning in a lazy circle. I smiled at the ceiling in relief. My body felt boneless, as if the stress was the only thing that had been keeping me together all day. 

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry,” Isaac said suggestively. I caught myself with a hand on my desk to keep my chair in place so I could meet Isaac’s eyes.

“What’d you get?”

Isaac tore the first bag open and started pulling out styrofoam containers. 

“Cheese ravioli for Catherine,” he said with a wink. “Mushroom risotto, piselli e guanciale,” Isaac said, absolutely butchering the pronunciation. I laughed at him but he ignored me. “Aaaaaand, veal parmesan.” 

I glanced at the last bag, which was unopened. “What’s that?”

“Garlic bread and antipasto salad,” Isaac said. “Where should we start?”

I squirmed in my seat. I was actually quite hungry, since it was 8 p.m. and I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I figured I should eat my food before I got carried away with feeding Isaac. And salad was a bit hard to feed another person. I didn’t want to get lettuce and cheese and salami all over the place. 

“Eat the antipasto first while I eat my ravioli,” I said. 

Isaac smirked. “Aye aye, captain.”

It was a little weird to be sitting in an empty office building on a Friday night. It was one of those places where nothing seemed real. Most of the lights were off, just the blue glow of the computer homescreens and the security lights near the door gave the room an odd aura of timelessness. 

While we got started on eating, it was quiet to the point of awkwardness with TV playing in the background like we’d normally have on at one of our apartments, and so I put some music on my phone for some ambience. I inhaled my ravioli with single-minded focus, and ate a piece of garlic bread to sop up the sauce leftover. Isaac seemed as hungry as me, as he’d nearly finished his entire salad by the time I ate my food.

“What do you want next?” I asked, standing up and stretching a bit. My back was sore from hunching over in my desk chair all day. 

“Hmm,” Isaac considered, glancing at the spread of containers littered all over the available desk space in my cubicle. “Risotto. It won’t be good if it gets cold.”

I nodded and got it opened. Isaac was scooping the last of the antipasto into his mouth and I waited until he’d finished before taking the empty container and tossing it in the trash.

Then I started to climb into Isaac’s lap. It was a tight fit, since his love handles were brushing the armrests of the chair, but I shoved my knees in and settled myself over him.

“This feels scandalous,” Isaac said with a playful smile. I shrugged. Our office security cameras were only faced towards the doors, and rarely did they even get checked. 

“It’s sorta hot though, right? Me feeding you at work?”

Isaac nodded and opened his mouth when I held up a forkful of risotto. His hands were on my hips, not doing anything suggestive, just resting there, but for some reason the feeling of being caged in by his hands had me blushing. 

He ate the risotto quickly, and I patted his tummy, which was getting a bit bloated, as he finished off the last of it. 

“How old is this shirt?” I asked, teasing at the buttons which looked a bit strained. Not indecent, but they were pulled tight enough across his gut that the fabric between was puckered. 

“Uh, about two months?”

Isaac was blushing now. 

“I like it,” I said. “Veal next?”

Isaac nodded and so I stood to grab the next container. Thankfully the meat was cut. It would have been hard to slice with plastic cutlery. 

“Getting full?” I asked when this entree was about halfway done. 

Isaac hummed, chewed, and swallowed. “Yeah. I still have room though, don’t worry.”

He did have room. He ate the rest of the veal and then had a break where he ate some bread and drank water. Then he decided he was ready for the pasta. 

The peas and the pancetta in the piselli e guanciale were a little cold, but Isaac didn’t seem to mind. I forked up heaping mouthfuls and Isaac ate them dutifully. 

He was really getting stuffed by the end, but he still had a solid ¼ of the meal left. He was making those adorable little grunts and moans that indicated his stuffed state. I put the container down to rub his sore belly.

“That feels amazing, Catherine,” Isaac murmured. I kissed the top shelf of his belly over his shirt. It was bloated and thick-looking. He’d indulged a lot in the last hour. 

“More?”

Isaac took a deep breath and nodded. 

I fed him a little more, but then he begged for a break. 

“Fuck, I’m… shit I’m so full,” Isaac grunted. His belly was looking huge, and god I loved it.

“Just a little more. Come on, you can do it,” I said. Isaac opened his mouth. “That’s it, eat a little more. You know you want it,” I teased, knowing Isaac did want it. He loved to push past his limits. I was getting turned on, which was loosening my tongue a bit. “Yeah, eat more. I know you can. I know you want it. Just two more bites.”

“So full,” Isaac moaned.

I pushed another forkful into his mouth.

“Good, you’re doing so good. One more and then you’ll be done.” 

Isaac opened his mouth again for me, and as I was putting the fork past his lips, I heard a smacking sound that nearly had me falling off of his lap in surprise. 

Standing in the doorway was Layla. 

I had no idea how long she’d been standing there. My music was still playing, and I’d been so focused on feeding Isaac and talking him through his fullness that I hadn’t heard her come in. 

I was mortified.

It was so obvious what we’d been doing. I was sitting in Isaac’s lap, where he looked absolutely stuffed. We were surrounded by empty food containers. If she’d heard what I’d just been saying….

“Oh my god,” I mumbled. I wanted to sink through the floor. 

“Layla, wha-what are you doing here?” Isaac asked. His chubby cheeks were bright red, and he was still out of breath from fullness. Belatedly I realized I should be getting up off his lap. This was unprofessional enough as it was. 

“I left my planner here earlier, I just stopped by to grab it,” I saw the planner at her feet which she must have dropped, which explained the smack sound I’d heard, “but Cath, what the–what were you… I thought he was on a diet.” Layla said, her nasally voice accusatory. I felt sick just hearing her tone. “Isaac, you’re letting her do—-whatever this is—to you?”

Isaac took my hand in his. “I wanted her to.” His voice left little room for disagreement.

Layla sputtered. “Catherine, you are enabling his binge eating disorder! Don’t you realize that! I thought you of all people would care about his health.”

I instantly felt nauseous as her words took root. 

This was what normal people thought of what we’d been doing. I’d let Isaac lull me into thinking this was normal when it clearly wasn’t. It wasn’t just strange, it was disordered. Layla had just said it was. And how hadn’t I seen it sooner? Isaac wanted to eat as much as he could in one sitting because it scratched some type of itch inside of him? Because he felt compelled to binge? 

And I had been enabling it.

“Catherine, don’t listen to her,” Isaac was saying, but blood was rushing in my ears. I was going to throw up. This was all of my worst fears. Being caught, being outed as a freak, putting someone I loved in danger because of my weird fetish. I wasn’t putting his health first like I’d been trying to do. I was getting off on his messed up eating habits. 

I pushed off of Isaac’s lap. He tried to hold onto me, but I didn’t let him. He was too full to get up after me anyway, and that made me feel even more sick.

I grabbed my purse and booked it past Layla, who was talking to me, but I tuned her out. I got on the elevator, shaking and numb all over. 

I made it to my apartment like a zombie, and I collapsed on my bed in my clothes. Only then did I let myself cry. 

*

CHRIS: have u talked to isaac yet??

I glanced at my phone from my spot on my bed, burrowed into the blankets like a burrito, before locking my phone and putting my comforter over my head like a dramatic 12 year old. 

I had called Christ last night after I’d cried out my embarrassment, my panic. And it’d been, well… an awkward conversation to say the least. 

Chris had been worried (obviously) as I’d called him crying, so I started trying and failing to explain what Layla had interrupted without mentioning the feeding situation. 

But well. It made no sense. We weren’t having sex in the office, or anything like that. Really, there was no reason for it to have been a big deal. So what I got caught sitting on my boyfriend’s lap? It was awkward, sure, but there was no reason for my reaction if I didn’t explain the–the food stuff. The health stuff. My anxiety stuff.

And so with my censoring, Chris was totally lost. 

But this was, well, Chris. My best friend, the most accepting non-judgmental person I knew. If I couldn’t tell Chris about my preferences, I couldn’t tell anyone. 

So after a few minutes of his voice in my ear calming me down, I had to bite the bullet and explain, yeah so remember how I never used to like anyone? It’s because I only like fat people. Fat guys, actually. Which Isaac is one. In case you hadn’t realized. Um. Oh and that awkward encounter Layla walked in on? I was actually just sitting on his lap feeding him Italian food. Because I’m a freak. And my insane brain was already on the cusp of breaking down at any given moment over the fact that Isaac could possibly be sick, or hurt, or… or something. And so when Layla insinuated that I was enabling an eating disorder I.. well. I believed her.

Chris had been quiet while brokenly explained that Isaac liked eating and getting fatter and I liked watching it happen. 

Chris was silent for a moment but he accepted the information without any fuss, which I appreciated.

That was last night. His reassurances no longer had much effect. 

And so now, those dark thoughts had time to grow and festered over the course of a day. 

I was even more reluctant to reach out to Isaac today seeing as he hadn’t even attempted to call me. Obviously it wasn’t his responsibility. I was the one who’d ran off and left him there. And the guilt was eating at me a bit, to be honest. But still. I was used to Isaac constantly wanting to comfort me. Coddle me. And now that he… wasn’t, I found myself unable to cope.

So I continued to ignore Chris’ message and wallowed in self-pity some more until I heard a knock on my apartment door in the early evening. 

I had migrated to the couch with a cup of tea by then, but I still looked like a mess. My face was blotchy from crying, and I hadn’t showered. My pajamas were oversized and worn in. Surely my hair was a mess as well, but. 

I stood up and looked out my peephole anyway. Part of me had expected Chris to come do a wellness check before he left for the club that night, but a secret, smaller part thought maybe Isaac would be there. 

But when I looked out into the hallway, it was neither of them.

John stood outside my door, awkwardly shifting his weight and fiddling with his wrist watch.

I yanked the door open.

“John?”

John looked startled.

“Catherine. Hi, um, I was hoping I could speak with you,” John said. I kept my body in front of my partially-open door.

I frowned. “Why?” I asked.

John scratched the back of his neck.

“Look, I… I talked to Isaac. And Layla, and I just. I know this situation is fucked and I know you might not be wanting company right now but,” John left the sentence unfinished, but turned a more pleading expression at me.

I swallowed heavily. John fidgeted under my stare for a moment.

“Um. Okay, come in,” I said, sliding out of the way so he could come inside. Luckily my neat-freak tendencies had kept my apartment from looking too rough. Aside from the pile of blankets on the couch, my place looked the same as it normally would.

I was the only thing that looked like a mess.

I sat down in my blanket nest and John took a seat in the chair.

“So.” I kicked my leg absent-mindedly. “Why are you…?”

“Here?” John guessed. I guested in confirmation, only feeling a little rude to be asking. He took a deep breath. “Catherine, I came here because I needed to say, well. I know we went on a date. And you weren’t into it.” His smile was self-deprecating. I started to protest but he didn’t let me. Which was fine, it’s fine. But surely I ignored some red flags when Layla asked me out directly after setting me up with you, her supposed friend. I mean, at the time I didn’t know she was like…” John searched for a word. “Like that.”

I nodded because I did know that Layla was in fact ‘like that’.

“And when Isaac asked me how I would feel if he started pursuing you, I was honestly skeptical. I thought.. I thought you’d go out with him once and never again. Like you had with me.” John smiled wistfully. “But when you kept seeing each other, I was happy for him. Truly.”

I felt myself blushing for some reason. 

“Are you and Layla, um, broken up?” I asked tentatively.

John nodded, scratched at his thighs nervously. “I broke it off with her after I spoke with Isaac, but it. It was a long time coming,” he explained.

“Oh,” I said dumbly.

“But, Catherine, I’m not here to talk about my breakup. I,” he scrubbed his face with one hand. “I wanted to talk to you because I think you need to hear this from someone who isn’t Isaac.”

His words made my eyes snap to his. He was stiff, serious, but clearly sincere. 

John took a breath. “Isaac told me a while ago that he wanted to, erm, to gain weight,” John said. 

I instantly regretted having this conversation. My stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“And I didn’t understand. Still don’t really. But it doesn’t matter. Because it’s his life, it’s his choice how he wants to live it. And that misunderstanding, my lack of acceptance, put a wedge between us. I hardly saw Issac this past year. And you’ve got to know, Catherine. I love Isaac. He’s one of my closest friends. To not have him in my life was. It was awful,” John said. “And so when Isaac called me last night, I.” John paused. I found myself staring at my hands in my lap. His voice was raw, and I felt distinctly uncomfortable. But I continued listening. “He called me and told me what happened. And then I heard the same story from Layla. And you want to know something, Catherine?”

I reluctantly met his gaze.

“Isaac told me that he’d screwed things up with you. Because he wanted to protect you from getting hurt. And he thought he’d failed at that. He was beating himself up about it.” John scoffed. “Isaac is one of a kind, isn’t he? You want to know what he didn’t tell me, but Layla did?”

I didn’t really, but I figured John wouldn’t have come all the way to my apartment for no reason, so I nodded anyway.

“She said that after you left, Isaac kept eating, shoving all the remaining food in his mouth like it was some act of defiance,” John said. He smiled fondly. “Isaac wanted her to know that it wasn’t you forcing him to do anything. Because you weren’t. You might already know that, but in case you need reminding, Isaac wanted to get fat with or without you. And I honestly don’t understand it. But it makes him happy, so,” John shrugged. “Isaac thinks he f**ked this up between you two, but Catherine… It’s no one’s fault. Maybe Layla’s for opening her big mouth but.”

I swallowed heavily.

“Thank you for, for saying all that,” I said.

John nodded. It was odd, how one conversation, one honest conversation with John, could make me understand why he and Isaac were friends. John was considered, reserved, but ultimately he cared about things. Cared enough to come all the way to my place just to make sure I wasn’t going to spiral so hard that I’d hurt Isaac forreal.

That was a good friend.

*

Isaac opened the door slowly. His t-shirt was ill-fitting, clinging to his tubby belly in a way that made me want to reach out and feel that supple flesh between my fingers. His brown curls were a mess, like he’d been running his hands through them, or maybe he’d just recently lost a pillow fight.

His eyes widened when he saw me standing in the hallway.

“Catherine?” he mumbled, surprised.

“Hi. Can I come in?” I asked. After John had left I showered and put on some real clothes, still comfortable ones, but an outfit that was suitable for outdoor wear. 

Isaac stepped aside so I could walk in. His apartment was a mess, but I wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t as neat as me anyway. 

We stood there in the foyer staring at each other for a few seconds. Isaac bit his lip, so I opened my mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry. For running away,” I said.

Isaac frowned. “No, no it’s, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Isaac said. I smiled but shook my head slowly.

“It is. I’ve realized just how much you’ve done to-to help me. With my issues. You’re, god, you’re freakishly accommodating,” I said, smiling humorlessly. “It’s like, you’re perfect. For me, at least.” 

Isaac’s eyes were very wide. 

“Do you know why I don’t like when people touch me?” I asked.

Isaac shook his head.

“I avoid being touched because I’m scared of being a real person. I’m always so scared that if someone touches me with-with any kind of tenderness, then I’ll simply fall apart. I-I spend so much time trying to hold myself together that I always knew that if I ever let anyone in, that I would crumble. I’m not, I’m not good at this, Isaac. I’m,” I put the heel of my hands into my eyes. “I’m terrible at being in a relationship because I never let myself be vulnerable with anyone before. Not my family, not my friends, not. Not anyone. Until you.”

I pulled my hands away to glance up at Isaac. He was staring at me like he’d never seen me before.

“Catherine, can I…?” Isaac’s hands were hovering, like they wanted to pull me in for a hug, but he waited until I nodded before he did.

Being hugged by him was. It was. 

I felt so safe.

“You’re not bad at being in a relationship,” Isaac mumbled into my hair. “Whoever told you that is stupid. You’re, god, you’re everything to me,” Isaac said. 

I felt my eyes welling up with tears.

“I think I should go to therapy,” I whispered. It was a thought that I’d avoided for years. I was scared of anyone ever getting close enough to know me. I didn’t like thinking about myself, my childhood. I actively pretended that I was normal, that I was fine when I clearly was not. 

“Whatever you want,” Isaac said. 

Epilogue: Three months later

“Mom, you’ll see me for Thanksgiving….Yes, I’m bringing Isaac….I know….I love you too…. Oka, bye.”

I hung up and sighed. 

“How’re things back home?” Isaac asked from the kitchen. He was making a bowl of cereal even though he’d had lunch only an hour ago. His appetite was impressive, and as of yesterday, he was tipping the scales at 356 lbs. 

“Fine. My family is just. They’re a little too excited to meet you,” I said exasperatedly.

“Well I’m excited to meet them too. Especially the famous mee-maw,” Isaac teased. I rolled my eyes. 

Isaac and I were planning to move in together after Isaac’s lease ended, but he practically lived here already. 

I watched Isaac devour his cereal and pour himself a second bowl. 

“You’re gonna spoil dinner,” I complained, knowing that it was not possible. We were going to a new restaurant tonight with John and his new girlfriend Grace. Isaac was bound to be ravenous by then even if he ate the whole box.

A few months ago I might’ve worried about the amount of sugar Isaac was eating, but after starting therapy and being prescribed antidepressants, my cycle of worrying was less intense. That’s not to say that it didn’t happen. But well. It was more manageable. It helped that Isaac was willing to get checkups frequently, and he’d resumed going to the gym to keep up his health while he gained. 

 I stared at Isaac as he ate. He really was so handsome. With those shiny brown curls, those dimples when he smiled, his chubby cheeks and double chin… 

“See something you like?” Isaac asked when he noticed my staring.

“Maybe,” I said with a grin. 

The end

#weight gain story #weight gain fiction #bhm fiction #male wight gain story #bhm/ffa story #chubby kink #belly kink #my writing #naivemlnd #maybe it's you #feedism story

[bitchinfawkseh]

Heaven Knows Your Name, I've Been Praying: Chapter 1

————————————————————————

Summary: When a mysterious string of suicides bring the Winchester brother's to Waterville Maine, they meet a fellow hunter: Cheryl Jones, who helps them with the case of La Llorona.

W.C: 3671

Warnings: mentions of suicides.

[A/N] Ahhhh chapter debut. I love Cheryl, I hope you guys like her as much as I do!!! And I'm excited to develop her and Dean's relationship:)))) I'm obsessed with using songs and applying them to my fics (if you read lyrics after you'll understand.) So if interested please listen to the songs I link each chapter

Masterlist | AO3

Rain drizzled from the sky, little droplets darkening the roads and sidewalks - giving off a sweet earthy smell. Students bustled around campus from class to class and they all were hoping and praying that they didn’t fail this semester. College town: this is where that newspaper article about kids killing themselves like crazy took them.

Dean passed Sam a cup of coffee, it was nearly burning his hands with how piping hot it was - but the fresher the better. “Any leads?” Dean muttered before blowing on the coffee and taking a small sip. A jolt of energy to get him through the rest of the day was just what he needed. Sam shrugged and glanced up at Dean "We could try talking to the girlfriend of the vic? Her name is Maya Jameson." He suggested. Sam took a sip from his coffee, wrinkling his nose a bit at the taste. It was watery, not good at all, but Dean didn’t seem to notice. Then again, Dean would drink sludge if he was told there was caffeine in it.

Dean pursed his lips together and nodded slowly "Sure. Been lookin' for an excuse to go by Agent Jones again." He smirked. Sam rolled his eyes and glanced around the wet scenery, he liked the rain, which is why he was happy to be in a place like Waterville Maine - even if they were there only for a case.

It was a very beautiful city too, with a huge river running through it and beautiful old buildings. The changing of the leaves from green to red and orange was a nice touch too - it was peak autumn in Sam's eyes. Dean didn't have an eye for stuff like this, he paid no mind to it actually unless there was something noteworthy - which was usually just some huge tourist trap.

-------------------

"Thank you for speaking with us, Miss. Jameson," Sam said, a small smile stretching across his face. Maya ushered them into the small living room of the apartment. It looked weirdly homey and nice for a college student. "No, thank you." She tucked some of her tangled light hair behind her ear. Dean glanced around the place, the kitchen had a sweet bar area tucked in the corner and magnets on the fridge from various states and cities. He gestured toward the fridge and pouted his lips together, "Travel a lot?" Dean asked. Maya glanced over her shoulder and then shook her head. "Oh no, my roommate does. She likes knick-knacks."

Dean nodded along and grinned "Nice."

The boys sat down next to each other on the loveseat across from Maya. Sam started with a " We're sorry for your loss." He was much more empathetic than Dean tried to be, but Sam just had that personal connection of losing a partner like that. She gave a curt nod and pinched the fabric of her shirt between her fingers. "The police already came and talked to me - so what don't you know?" Maya asked. Dean raised his hand "Tell us everything. The reports got all messed up," He then let out a small chuckle and then smirked. "Stupid interns, am I right?"

Sam glared at Dean and elbowed him in the side discreetly, now was not the time for jokes. Maya's eyes widened slightly and then she let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah."

"Did Noah show any signs of duress? Like… seeing things that weren't there or doing impulsive things?" Sam asked. He seemed very engrossed in the conversation at hand, he was leaning forward and his hands were clasped together. Maya considered his words carefully before replying "He would talk about this woman who seemed to be watching him - he even filed a report with the police but nothing came of it." Dean and Sam both sighed and then the girls' eyes widened. "Wait!" Her voice was laced with urgency and slight panic. "You don't think he was murdered right?! It was just a suicide -"

Sam waved his hands and cut her off "No! No, just standard procedure. Sometimes before people… do that, they have some issues."

As Sam and Maya continued to chat, Dean listened until he noticed a book on the coffee table. It was a hefty book, there were various runes along the spine of it and the title read 'Mexican Folklore & Superstitions.' Under it, there was another novel that looked like it was about runes and ways to protect yourself from the supernatural. He cocked a brow and pursed his lips together, "Were these your boyfriends?" He asked, gesturing towards the stack of supernatural books. She glanced over and then down at the books, she seemed a little confused about what he was talking about until she read the title. "No, they are my roommate's stuff. She's into all that creepy weird stuff." She replied shortly before turning her attention back to Sam.

Sam's brows furrowed and he shot a knowing look at Dean. "Where is your roommate? Can we talk to her?" He asked. Maya picked at the skin around her thumbnail and tucked her tongue into her cheek. "She's on a work trip right now, but as soon as she heard she said she was coming home. She'll be back in the next couple of days." Maya explained.

Dean squinted "She's not in college like you?"

She shook her head. "No, she's like 27 - and she thinks paying for an education is stupid when you can get knowledge for free from quote on quote 'life experiences'" Dean chuckled softly and shook his head, her roommate seemed amusing.

Sam reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and passed her a (fake) business card with his number on it. "When she gets back, give us a call, we'd like to chat with her. Standard procedure." He said. Maya read over the card before smiling and nodding. "Will do. Thanks."

As they walked out of the building, Sam nudged Dean's arm with his elbow. "I think the roommate is a witch, I mean come on- those books she had… and maybe she's the cause of all of this." He motioned around them, clearly talking about all the suicides and the case. Dean pursed his lips together before shaking his head. No, this woman wasn't a witch. "Notice all the magnets from different states and cities? And the fact that she's always travelling for work?" Dean said. He grinned and looked back at the apartment building before Sam again. "She's a hunter."

His eyes widened and he glanced around before leaning closer to Dean. "What? How would she even afford an apartment-?" He asked.

"I dunno."

"What do you mean I dunno?" Sam mocked. Dean shot him a glare and pulled the driver's side door of his beloved Impala open. "I mean I dunno. There could be thousands of reasons why she can," He slid inside and Sam slipped in as he started up the engine. Baby roared before settling to a familiar soft sound that he oh-so loved. "Just saying," Dean began as he switched the car into gear. "It's a good possibility she is a hunter."

The rumbling of her bike between her legs made her entire body vibrate, Cheryl tucked some of her damp chocolate brown hair behind her ear. She pulled the keys out of the ignition and adjusted the collar of her bright red leather jacket. 1 more day until she's back home, and then no more shit motels for a while. When she heard of Maya's boyfriend's death - she left almost immediately to go back home. They weren't that close, but it was just a nice thing to do. Besides, his death was… sketchy to say the least.

Cheryl worked her leather fingerless gloves off and shoved them into her pocket as she strolled into the motel's cramped lounge to book a room. She flashed the desk clerk a polite smile, "Buneas, room for one, please?" She asked. It was like any regular motel, keys hung off nails on the wall and they each had a key chain that had various room numbers on them. The yellow lighting made the woman's hair at the front desk look white - and it brought out every little blemish on her face. The clerk glimpsed up at her before spinning in her chair and snatching a key off the wall. "Double fine?" Her voice was gravelly and quiet. Cheryl nodded and reached into her coat for her wallet. "Yeah, whatever you got." She said as she pulled some cash out. The clerk spun back around to face her and handed her the key "$15 and check out is 11 AM." This woman was really in a hurry to get her out of there. They swapped the key for cash and Cheryl nodded along, her lips thinning. "Alright. Gracias." She muttered before leaving.

Cheryl shouldered her way through the room, it was a typical motel. White bedding, ugly walls stained with cigarette tar and stinky crumby carpets that should have been burned years ago. She set her things down on the desk in the corner of the room and peeled her jacket off. "I should give Maya a call…" She mumbled under her breath. She glanced over at the clock above the bed and wrinkled her nose. She may or may not be asleep, it depends on how she is feeling. With a heavy sigh, she grabbed her phone from her bag and flipped it open.

It rang a couple of times before she picked up with a quiet hello. Cheryl frowned at how sad Maya's voice sounded, "Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked softly as she sat on the edge of her bed. Cheryl untied the laces of her black biker boots and listened as there were some crinkles of wrappers in the background before she sighed. "Oh you know, like my life is ending and how I should have noticed something." She finally answered.

"Oh, querida, nobody could have predicted it. Didn't his therapist even say she didn't expect it-?"

"Yes but-"

"But nothing, it's nobody's fault, Maya. And certainly not yours." She interrupted.

Cheryl cleared her throat as she tossed her boots by the door. "I'm in Massachusetts right now, and I'm leaving bright and early tomorrow so I'll be home around noon," Cheryl said. She heard Maya gasp over the phone, causing her brows to furrow and her posture to straighten. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing - that just reminded me. Police came by today again, they asked to talk to you when you get back."

Her forehead creased and she swallowed hard, "Why?" Cheryl hated the police - even though she often posed as them; yet another misdemeanour to add to the list. "He just said that it's standard procedure. They probably wanna talk about…" Maya trailed off, her voice sounded strained and thick with grief. "Oh! It's fine, I'll talk to them. Whatever they need - I'll provide. Even blowjo-"

"Shut up!" Maya giggled.

The next morning Cheryl got up around 7, had a quick shower, bought a cup of coffee and smoked two cigarettes before she left at 9. Carlos would probably kick her ass if he knew that she was still smoking - she swore she could hear his nagging voice in the back of her mind going: "Woman! Those are horrible for you."

Cheryl loaded up her things on her bike, strapping the last bag up and tugging on it to make sure it stayed. She's good on gas, and she wasn't that hungry so she didn't need to stop until she reached home. Cheryl zipped up her jacket, pulled on her gloves and helmet and then she was off. Biking was exhilarating - how fast you could go - the scenery - everything. She loved all of it.

"Maya told us to swing by around noon," Sam said as he exited the bathroom and came back into the main room. Dean sighed and tossed the nude mag he was glancing through onto the bed side table. "Alright, let's get goin'." He muttered.

Sam and Dean both sat down on the sofa, they got there a little early - the girl wasn't here yet. But Maya said she should be here soon, "She was in Massachusetts last I heard." She told them. She set their coffees down on the table in front of them and smiled weakly. Dean nodded in thanks and took a small sip. It was strong - warm, this was a good batch of coffee. "This is good, thanks." Dean said as he leaned back into the sofa. Sam raised his mug to Maya and took a big sip, he had barely gotten to swallow it when there was a jingling of keys in the front door before it opened.

Everyone looked over their shoulders at the brunette woman who just came in. She set her bags down on the floor in the hall and her brows raised as she took in the scene. Maya was quick to jump to her feet and sweep her into a hug. "Oh, Cheryl!" She cried. Cheryl awkwardly patted her shoulder and rubbed her back. Dean tilted his head as he took in the scene, a soft grin forming on his face. Cheryl looked to be a little shorter than Maya was - they both had pretty eyes. 

She pat Maya's shoulder again before pulling back from the hug. Cheryl glanced over at the men on her couch "Sorry, I underestimated how bad the rain was gonna be." Dean pursed his lips together and raised his hand and Sam sent her a reassuring smile. "No problem. You're here now, that's all that matters."

After Maya went for a walk, Cheryl sat in front of them with an expressionless face. Her brows raised and she stared at the two of them "So, what did you wanna ask me?" Cheryl started. Sam and Dean both looked at each other briefly before leaning forward a bit, their hands resting on their knees. "Did you notice anything off with Noah before he died?" Sam started. Cheryl pouted her lips together before shaking her head. "No, I wasn't here for a month and before that he was you know- the normal Noah." Dean's eyes narrowed and he glanced over at Sam briefly. "What exactly is your job?" He asked.

Cheryl tucked her tongue into her cheek and tapped her fingers against her knee. She didn't know how to reply exactly - but they didn't seem like professional real cops either… She shrugged slightly and squinted "Ehhh - stuff. I help people." She finally said. She couldn't exactly tell them she hunted the supernatural as a job - a job she didn't even get paid for, it could be considered "volunteering" at most. Dean's brows furrowed and he nodded slowly, swallowing hard. He tapped the hardcover of the book he noticed before - 'Mexican Folklore & Superstitions' and met her eyes. "Does it involve stuff like this?" Cheryl's eyes widened slightly and her nose scrunched, she looked a little… unimpressed. Sam watched her carefully - this was the moment they were waiting for.

"Yes." She answered, glancing at the two of them. Cheryl's voice dipped low - her accent making it sound like a purr. "So then you're hunters too?" Her eyes darkened and Dean's breath hitched, damn she was a sexy minx. He was too focused on her - her curves - her tits, he wasn't really looking before - but now he sure was.

Sam let out a relieved sigh and his lips quirked up into a small smile. "Yeah, we are." He was at least relieved to know that she wasn't some sort of crazy witch. Cheryl’s lips thinned and she looked Dean up and down "And you're here because of all the suicides? What do you think it is?"

Sam elbowed his side and he jumped, snapping completely out of it. "What?"

Cheryl grinned "What do you think it is? Ghost? Demon? Monster?" He struggled to form words - he was completely out of it. Sam answered for him, "We don't know yet. Maybe we can work together on this?"

This caught Dean's attention, he glanced over at Sam with wide eyes and swallowed hard. They didn't even know this woman's last name - let alone whether she was trustworthy or not. Cheryl's grin widened "Yes, gracias. Can't do much myself since I live here." She then glanced up at the clock on the wall over the fireplace and pouted her lips together. "Maya will be back soon - uhh, why don't we meet at the library at 5 and talk then?" She suggested as she glanced back at the brothers. Sam nodded frantically and smiled nervously "Yeah - sounds good. Right, Dean?" He said. Dean’s lips thinned and he nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Cheryl's face. "Yep."

This was the second time they were leaving that apartment - and this time the energy was much more tense. Dean was in a sour mood and Sam was cheerful about the fact that they found a fellow hunter and got to work with her. It was finally Dean who spoke first, his forehead wrinkling as he looked at Sam in disbelief. "You really asked her to work with us? Seriously?" His voice got progressively more annoyed as he spoke. Sam narrowed his eyes, seemingly confused by why he was so upset. He shrugged slightly and shook his head "Dean she lives here - she knows the area better than us and she knew Noah personally too." He explained. Of course Dean didn't think of those aspects - she was a local and she knew the history of the area. He grumbled something incoherent under his breath as he jerked open the driver's side door of Baby.

Cheryl took a short nap before she went out again, and obviously changed into some more appropriate attire. A worn cropped Metallica tank top and simple black jeans. And of course, her leather jacket and biker boots.

By the time she pulled up to the library, it was a little past 5. Cheryl wandered the library a bit before finding Sam and Dean at a deserted table between shelves. "Hola." Cheryl greeted. When they both glanced up at her she corrected herself: "Hey." Dean's eyes narrowed and his brows knitted together. "We know what hola means." He said. Cheryl smirked and crossed her arms, "I'm sorry, I just assumed since you're a bunch of gringos." She chuckled. Cheryl slid into the seat next to Sam, across from Dean, and peered over his shoulder at the book he had. Both their eyes stayed trained on her as she moved.

"Are you fluent in Spanish?" Sam asked. Cheryl nodded and sucked air through her teeth, of course she was. It was all she spoke for the first 14 years of her life until she had to learn English for American high school. "Yes, I was born in Mexico." She answered. Dean's brows raised and he looked a little surprised. Explains her book. "Really?" Sam asked, his eyes widening slightly. She nodded and leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chair. These were good for cracking her back - she loved them. "Yes." Cheryl shared as little about herself as possible all the time. It gave an unfair advantage over her… she didn't like to have things she told people in confidence to blow up in her face.

"So what have you got?" Cheryl asked, her eyes briefly meeting Dean's before they both looked away. His were so green - it was kind of eerie. "Well," Sam began. "All of the victims drowned themselves in the river - and they all mentioned seeing a strange woman around them." Cheryl nodded along and pouted her lips together, clasping her hands together to rest on her stomach. She inhaled deeply "How old are they? The vics?"

"All under 18, except for Noah." Dean said.

"Which breaks the pattern." Sam interjected. Cheryl suddenly sat up straight, her hairs rising on her body. It couldn't be - no way. She tapped the table and leaned forward towards Dean. "And they died in the river?"

His eyes narrowed. "Yes…?"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, her mother warned her of something exactly like this when she was a little girl. "It's La Llorona." She muttered.

Sam's eyes widened and he turned to face her. "The weeping woman - are you sure?" They encountered her once before, it was their first hunt together since Sam left for university, except it didn't really follow the actual legend of La Llorona. "Yes - I'm sure." Cheryl said. Her eyes landed on Dean for his reaction, he had an expressionless look on his face(not really, she just didn't know him well enough to read him). His lips curved up into a grin when he noticed her looking at him. "Like what you see?" He teased. Cheryl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms square against her chest. "No." Cheryl retorted . His grin only widened, he wasn't going to let her end his teasing that easily. "Really? You're starin' at me quite a bit."

"Dean." Sam said firmly, a warning. They could be pissing off a valuable asset like Cheryl.

After they were kicked out of the library because it was closing time, Dean walked her to her car while Sam went to grab food across the street. It was dark - and who knows what could've happened to her, it was just the gentlemanly thing to do. When Cheryl went up to the red and black Harley instead of the white Nissan next to it, Dean grinned widely. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his heavy coat, rain spitting onto it. "You ride a motorcycle?" He asked. Cheryl grinned herself and stared up at him as she pulled on her gloves and fixed her helmet on her head. "Why? You wanna ride?" She purred. He flushed a bit and shifted to appear more confident. "One day - maybe."

Her expression softened to something much less flirtatious. "Okay, well. Buenas noches, Dean."

"Night, Cheryl." He replied with a little smile.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #spnfandom #spn #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester #spnfamily #Spotify

[readerg1rl]

Too rough

Bakugou is sweet but too rough, use of pronouns she her, degradation (lots of degrading words during sex), reader just realizing love for Bakugou

this is for people 18+ minors do NOT interact

You have been transferred to UA from a small town. You are not very shy and do not look very strong, for the record you look like you don't even have powers at all. Your parents owned a big business and were quite rich but they like a small town vibe so they stayed there.

it's your first day and Aizawa presents you to the class, you are a bit embarrassed for some reason and keeping your head down, you sit at the back behind Denki, left to you is Iida and right to you is Ochaco.

The lunch break starts, and you are alone at your table eating a bento that you made, you made some pandas from rice, some sushi, avocado and a candy bar, nothing much.

Denki saw you and asked you to come with him, Mina, Bakugou, Sero and Kirishima. You nodded, Mina was so happy, Sero and Kirishima too, Bakugou was well... Bakugou, silent and looking away, you weren't thinking too much of him, you were happy that you made friends the first day.

"we are going to lunch, do you wanna go with us y/n?" Kirishima asked you after school, you nodded. They asked a lot questions about you and you did about them, you wanted to get to know them and they wanted to get to know you too. There was one person that you didn't even hear a word from, they all talked in his name, he was calm.

They all called him rough and very vocal, always angry and really possessive, but he didn't seem like that to you but it didn't quite matter, they were all friends to you.

A month passed and everything was fine until Ectoplasm did a very hard math lesson you just couldn't understand, you asked Mina but she said that she understands but can't teach very good, she tried to explain it but she vas very bad.

"Bakugou is great at math, maybe he can help you, I mean he helped Denki and Sero too. Kirishima thinks it's not manly to ask for help so he is trying alone to understand" Mina said

"can you ask him for me? I don't want to bother him, I mean... if it's okay with you." you said

"NO PROBLEM" Mina replied

she went over to Bakugou and he looked very irritated and angry but reluctantly agreed.

"after classes at my dorm." Bakugou said

After classes you came to his dorm, you took a shower, dressed nicely but comfortably, you looked very common and you smelled like vanilla an flowers. He looked pulled together really well, he seemed a bit happy to see you, his room was full of All Might figurines and limited edition posters, he was incredibly tidy person, his room looked very comfortable and warm. He offered you some juice and cola and very quickly you got to the problem.

He spent around 30 minutes explaining the lecture to you and you seemed to understand it quite well. Around 15 minutes after that you two were over.

"You can come over tomorrow to review the lection to make sure you remember it" He seemed shy but straight forward as ever

Was that a small blush on his face?!

"sure thing" you reply "thank you, I owe you one"

tomorrow after classes you come to his dorm, this time he is wearing grey sweatpants and a COMPRESS T-SHIRT?! He looked very VERY hot, to a level you might've blushed just a bit, his rock hard abs and big strong chest were very well defined under his shirt, he seemed to be blushing too.

You were studying and as you were doing equations you felt his eyes scanning every detail, every curve, every fold, your eyes, nose, lips...

"let's take a break" he said

"yeah, sure" you said

"Do you want any snacks?" he asked lightly tilting his head to the right

"sure" you reply sweetly

he brought some chocolate, some chips and cold juice, those were all of your favorite things, you only told that to Mina. Maybe he likes the same stuff

"do you like the things I bought?" he asks quietly

"yeah, you really... you bought this only for me?!" you were blushing

"well, Mina told me you liked these" he said unsurely

Mina told him, why would he ask her

"you are red, are you okay, is it hot in here, do you want me to turn on the A/C?" he looked a bit worried

"no, I'm fine, but... why did you ask Mina?"

now he was blushing

"i- i just wanted to make this study session less..."

"less what?" you were curious

"more chill and less... study strict..." he was looking down and on to his pants, his eyes widened and he stood up quickly "excuse me" he rushes into the toilet. Few minutes later he looked refreshed

"you know, you have really beautiful eyes y/n" he said

"thanks"

"do you maybe wanna go out for a drink sometimes?" he said nervously

"umm... yeah, sure" you are blushing

"we can stay here and hang out for a bit if you want to" he said wanting to make you feel comfortable

"okay" you replied

"wanna watch a movie?" he asked

"sure"

You decided a movie and halfway trough you decided to break the ice and put your head on his shoulder. After few minutes he started stroking your hair, it relaxed you and atmosphere lightened up. Before you left you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, he blushed.

He barely slept, he thought of you for the whole night and that kiss on the cheek.

Tomorrow in school he approached you

"do you wanna go to the nearby caffe after school?" he asked politely

"i don't see why not" you replied

The whole school day and trainings go by very quickly. later you put on a nice button up shirt and a skirt, it looked very cute on you, and you felt very excited for this "date"

Two meet up outside and start walking and talking, date goes very nicely and the two of you have a great time, you end up sitting on a bench that was on a small hill, and you two were watching sunset together, his hand crawls up to yours and you two hold hands in silence, he turns towards you and you turn towards him

"may I?" he asks

"you may" you blush

He slowly leans in and gives you a long kiss on the lips, you kiss him back, and even though this is your first kiss, its very shooting and relaxing, he is very passionate. At the end he even lightly bites your lip and nibbles on it softly. You hum just a little and he smiles. He puts his hand on your cheek and gently caresses it with his thumb.

"you look adorable right now. May I kiss you again?"

you just nod, you seem to be desperate for him, you just adore the sensation of his lips on yours. he gently nibbles on your lip as he kisses it causing him to groan a little and for you to gently moan pleasure

"let's go to my dorm" he says with a wink

"yeah" you are blushing hard

You two come to his dorm and he sits on his bed signaling for you to sit on his lap. As you sit he gently squeezes your cheeks and kisses you. His tongue gently enters your mouth as he tries to taste more of you. Shortly after all of his tongue is in your mouth, savoring every taste and swallowing every gentle moan that tries to escape your mouth.

His left hand travels to your shirt and plays with a top button

"this is a really nice shirt you've got up here" he says with a sly grin

"but i think that you would be prettier without it" without a delay he starts to unbutton your shirt and toss it on the ground, revealing your beautiful pink bra

"what a beautiful sight" he grins as he slowly lifts your breasts and starts to fondle them. he pinches and flicks your nipples as you moan at every flick.

He lays you down on the bed and he slowly removes your bra as his mouth finds the way to your chest, he slowly kisses your breast and nibbles on your hardened nipple, his tongue sharply flicks your nipple causing you to moan.

his hands slowly wander to your tummy and to your hips, slowly gliding to the end of your skirt and going under the fabric of the skirt slowly gliding up your thighs

you put a hand on his head trying to pull him away to stop the abuse over your breasts and your sensitive nipples.

his head slowly rises, "why do you want me to stop princess, I thought that you like this"

his fingers glide to your soaked panties

"your body is telling me a different story"

His fingers continue to tease your clothed pussy, your hips start moving up and down in search for more friction, more pleasure, more power.

"look at you whore, so desperate for me, don't worry, I will start to satisfy you very soon" he continues to tease her

He lifts her skirt to see her pink panties soaked, he takes off her skirt and then her panties revealing a beautiful pussy. His mouth slowly glides from her tummy to her clit and slowly licks it and makes circles around it. Your hips start moving faster as he spreads your legs. You start moaning

"a-ah, Bakugou, ngh... slow down"

"let me enjoy my meal bitch" he replies aggressively going faster, squeezing and fondling your breasts harder

"Bakugou I'm gonna.... I'm gonna..."

He continues "I don't care" he replies going faster and faster making you come on his face and he drinks up most of it licking his lower lip and grinning widely.

"Such a slut, aren't you, coming all over my face, such a dirty whore. I should punish you for this" he forcefully bends you over his knees and starts spanking you

"AAH Bakugou, stop" you shout in pain

"Scream more" he continues spanking you hard as his hard slaps and your cries fill the room

"STOP PLEASE" you shout

"Good girl, begging like a whore you are, lay back down on your back" he commands and you obey.

His fingers find a way to your pussy, his fingers slowly ender deep and curls his fingers right onto your g-spot causing you to moan in pleasure. his fingers go faster and faster as he spits on your pussy making you come again.

without further ado he takes off his shirt and his pants and rubs his rock hard dick leaking precum against your entrance before slamming into you causing your back to arch and you to scream, he goes faster and faster

"do you like this whore? do you like me using you as a sex toy, you are nothing more than a whore to me" he says in pure sadistic joy watching as your eyes fill with tears

"don't cry now bitch, I'm gonna carve my big cock shape into your tight pussy, I'm gonna mark you as mine" he groans going faster and faster and with a final slam against you he fills you up with his sperm

"good girl, let's take a shower ok?"

you both take a shower and you lay down in his arms, he starts kissing your forehead

"you were too rough" you say

"okay, and?" he replies

"please don't be as rough next time..." you say shyly

"i can't promise you that" he chuckles

And with that you both fall asleep

"Bakugou wake up! we are late for school!"

"Don't worry, its Saturday..."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

hello, it's the writer speaking, I hope you liked my first ever fanfic. if you have any recommendations for characters of any anime (preferably mha, jjk, op, haikyuu, death note) I can do, I could also do some spiderman ones or k-pop OR manhwa characters. Since I identify as a female I don't think that I will do any male readers but we'll see. I hope you enjoyed 3:30h of my work!

#mha #mha bakugou #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #x reader #fanfic

[letmerambleplease]

Hey everyone! This is my first time doing this but in the following lines I’ll try very hard to convince you to watch a movie. ^^ (Yeah this isn't a balanced review of the movie, more like me just gushing about it) The name is « Sweet Smell of Success » and it’s is really underrated. However, when I went on twitter the other day, I did see that it still gets some love there which makes me very happy! You can rent it on amazon prime.

Ok but first things first. I‘m not a native english speaker so please excuse any mistakes! Also… and this is pretty important, I feel like I need to give trigger warnings because the movie deals with some heavy themes, like abusive relation ships, self harm, questionable sexual situations (sorry don’t know how to describe it) and probably more stuff that you should be midful of when watching it. It is not very explicit though in my opinion, so you won’t see any blood for example on screen. Furthermore (haha I’m trying to remember fancy words from english class ^^‘) I really love the characters as characters, that does not mean I condone any of their actions obviously.

Ok! With all of that out oft he way let’s begin!

Sweet Smell of Success is a film noir drama released in 1957, directed by Alexander Mackendrick. It is based on a nouvelette « Cosmopolitan » by Ernest Lehman and in the main roles are starring Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis, Susan Harrison, and Martin Milner.

The movie is about a press agent named Sidney Falco (dope name btw) who works under the very powerful colomnist  J.J. Hunsecker. J.J.‘s sister Susie Hunsecker is in a relationship with a man J.J. deems unworthy, which is why he wants Sidney to get them to break up. He himself does not want to ruin his relationship with his sister, who is already getting wary of him. 

I will try to stay spoiler free for this first section. Later on I want to talk about more of my personal viewing experience and will probably get into Spoilers, but I’ll warn you then.

I would like to start by talking about the acting and the characters. The actors are all great but stand outs for me are Tony Curtis who plays Sidney and Burt Lancaster who plays J.J.. Even though the charcters are both very manipulative and horrible people, the two actors play them very differently, which makes it super fun to watch. Sidney is always on his feet and you can practically see how many gears in his head are turning to devise a new scheme. Tony Curtis portrays this very well through nervous gestures and facial expressions. He is also very good at showing Sidneys deceptive side and his charme. The movie establishes his motivation in the very first minutes, which is great because everything he does comes back to a desire to find financial and social success. To achieve his goals Sidney does not really care about anyone, however he is very nice to most people, in case they could be useful later. There are always a lot of people greeting him when he comes into a bar and he himself even says that he is basically keeping up appearances 24/7.

J.J. on the other hand is very calm and seems threatening even in seemingly normal conversations. In stark contrast to Sidney he does not seem that occupied with being nice and keeping appearances because he can get away with it. He doesn’t need to appease someone, peoply try to appease him.

The movie is very interesting because it portrays different kinds of power struggles and power dynamics. From a first glance it seems like J.J. is basically at the top. He is very influencial, super intimidating (like damn, I would be very scared of him in real life) and commands every conversation he is in. But inspite of all of that he still has his limitations. One of his biggest limitations is his sister Susie herself. I think she is the only person he at least tries to keep a friendly relatinship with, while also controlling every aspect of her life. I think he knows that when she decides to leave that he can’t really do anything about it, so he pressures her into staying by intimidating her, while also trying to not push her over the edge. And at the end their whole dynamic switches, which leaves him standing quietly and kind of in a crouching position behind a door. It is a little difficult to explain tob e honest and if you are someone who watched the film let me know what you think.

Another thing is that, while Sidney definitly ranks beneath him in the power pyramid if you will, he still needs him to accomplish his goals. Because as I said before Sidney is very cunning and fast to not only devise a plan but to execute it as well.

There is a lot more to say about the characters and their dynamics however I’ll stop here for now to talk a little bit about how the movie structures it scenes.

Most oft he time the Movie follows Sidney and his schemes, and there are just some scenes here and there with him missing. And it is so much fun to see scenes building on each other, while his plans get more complicated. And to be honest at least for me there never is a dull moment. Because the movie is very good at making even little scenes matter later.

Maybe I can give you an example. These scenes are mostly there to show how Sidney works and acts, so they primarily exist to characterize him and I think they are very cool. So, Sidney goes to J.J.’s Column (I think) where he visits some kind of secretary who has information on what will be printed in the next issue. He flirts with her a little (again showing how charming he can be) however she already knows that he only wants information and tells him about a comedian without existing press agent who will be featured in the paper under the headline « Funniest man in New York » or something similar like that. That scene alone is fine, however it gets really cool when he later meets said comedian. He obvously wants to get hired so he tells the Comedian that he has connections that can get the comedian into J.J.‘s paper (which is a big deal). He then proceeds to fake a phone call with J.J. (It’s hilarious because he just calls his own secretary who hangs up confused about what he is talking about). He pretends to suggest an article about the comedian and even uses the same Headline he found out about earlier. After that he goes back tot he comedian, knowing fully well that the article will be published the next day. And later in the movie the comedian comes back to hire him. (At that point he get’s ignored though, because Sidney has bigger plans). Like, Sidney is awful, sexist, racist, manipulative and overall pretty bad but it is a real delight to see what plans he comes up with.

I want to also mention the visuals of the movie. Because they are gorgeous! The movie is in black and white which I did not like for a long time because I thought it made everything look washed out and kind of dull. However the contrast in Sweet Smell of Succes is very nice! There are bright highlights and deep shadows and the lighting is often used to convey a specific athmosphere. For example when half of the face of a character is completly covered in shadows. Another neat example is how the glasses of J.J. cast some sharp shadows on his face to make him seem more menacing. A lot of it is shot at nighttime in New York, where are a lot of lights, which makes a very cool backdrop.

It is also very cool how each indovidual shot subconsciously tells us something about the relationships between the characters. J.J. is often sitting but takes still more space up in the frame to show his dominance of a scene. Or sometimes the focus of the camera shifts slightly away from a conversation that is happening in the foreground to show Sidney in the back, because he orchestrated the situation.

In general the movie is full of cool, little things and tricks. That is in the script and the visuals. In one of my favourite scenes (not because oft he content but because of how it was shot) Susies Love interest gets surroundet by corrupt police men and before anything happens it cuts tot he drums oft the Jazz band that is playing in the club he just left. Our mind automatically makes the connection that he was beaten up pretty badly, without even seeing it.

Why is all of this important? Well, as someone who likes to watch movie reviews on Youtube I feel like a criticism I hear a lot is that a movie treats ist viewers like they are too dumb to understand subliminal messages and thus becomes boring or even insulting. It is also just a lot more fun to watch a movie that does not take you out of the story wit exposition and instead let’s you figure stuff out for yourself.

This all may sound like Sweet Smell of Success is a movie without a lot of taking. But that is very far from the truth. I would actually say that the dialogue is one of its biggest strengths! Not only informs you a lot about the characters, it also includes some of the coolest lines I have heard in any media. The lines  „Cat’s In The Bag … ” and “. . . And The Bag’s In The River” even served as episode titles for a show I also love very much : Breaking Bad. Side note, Sweet Smell of Sucess is also one of the favourite movies of the creator of Breaking Bad. Haha maybe that’s a more convincing argument to watch it that anything I could say. Anyways, the dialogue is also great at referencing itself at later points and creating awesome foreshadowing. 

I also want to talk about the music very briefly. I think the soundtrack fits the story and overal vibe of the setting perfectly. A cool little easter egg is that the Band of which Susies Love interest Steve is a part of is also the band who made the soundtrack fort he movie.

Just for fun I want to talk about my first viewing experience, which might include Spoilers. Maybe you can watch the movie first and come back later to compare your experience to mine. However the movie does not get ruined through Spoilers. I watched it a few times already and noticed something cool and new almost every time.

 For a little bit of context : I actully only watched the movie because I already liked Tony Curtis. By chance I caught Operation Petticoat on TV. And to be completly honest I just thought he was very handsome, so with nothing better to do I started to watch more movies he starred in. I did not expect to find one of my favourite movies of all time XD So I started watching and the first thing I noticed was that it was interesting to start the movie with the main character already stressed and angry. I feel like normally we get so see the characters in their „normal „ state, which get’s disrupted by an inciting incident. Sweet Smell of Success throws you right in the action though. On second thought, stressed and angry might me Sidneys default state…

Something to know is that a lot of the audience back when the movie was released did not like that Tony Curtis portayed such a scheming character. They expected him tob e a nice guy like he was in pretty much all of his other movies. And the funny thing is, I did too. It took me soooo long to finally realize that Sidney was just not meant to be a nice character. I think in one of his first scenes he even says „I‘m not a good person“ or something along those lines. For an explanation: A lot of the movie was very difficult for me to understand in english, partly because I just didn’t know the words they were using and partly because Sweet Smell of Succes’s story line is not that simple. So fort he majority oft he film I sat there a little confused but still intrigued. And then came the scene in which Sidney tries to persuade a woman into sleeping with a man for his own gain and clearly against her wishes. And I was like „???? that is not ok Sidney! How am I supposed to root for you now? Is this a 50’s thing? Did they think back then something like that was ok?“. And then later when he plants the drugs on Steve I thought for sure he would go back and save him from the police, as a redeeming moment. And when he didn’t it finally occured to me that we weren’t supposed to root for Sidney in the first place. And that is when the movie got super interesting. Because Susie pretty much finds out that Sidney and J.J. were behind the assault of her Lover (though it is a little ambiguous). And she and Sidney meet up in her and J.J.‘s apartement and honestly my heart beat so fast while watching this scene! Because you really don’t know what will happen. If there is a happy end for the main character, that would not be really a happy end, because the main character is a selfish, horrible person.

*Major Spoiler incoming* At the end Susie tries to jump of her balcony, however Sidney is barly able to rescues her. She is obviously very distraught by the whole situation and just in that Moment J.J. comes back home. As I said before the movie is not always very clear with what is going on inside of the minds of the characters however this is how I understood the ending: Sidney got a message from J.J. which ordered him to come to his apartement, however when he arrives J.J. is not there… just Susie. I am pretty sure she called him there to make it seem like he was directly responsible for her death. This way she would have taken revenge on Sidney and J.J. simultaniously, while also escaping her current seemingly hopeless living condition. And I guess this ending would have worked, however it would have been pretty dark. I love happy endings and I think the actual ending is as close as you can get to one with a movie like this. The dialogue is very well written, especially at the end. It is honestly a little to difficult to summerize all the nuances, because there are a lot of lies and truths that are made out to be lies and so on. I think you’ll need to see it for yourself.

I love the ending because it seems like every character gets what they deserve (except for Steve, poor guy is in the hospital) Sidney told Susie the truths about their schemes, which made J.J. turn on him and send a corrupt cop after him. Not only gets he beat up and who knows what happens after that but also are the chances of him achieving the goal he chased after the whole movie : finding succes, pretty much down to zero. Susie finally breaks free from her brother and goes to her boyfriend. I am really glad she did not need to die but instead gets to have a better future, symbolized by a ray of light she walks into in her last scene. You could say that J.J. gets of a little to light, however it is stated that Susie is the only family he has and that he cares for her (though in a crontrolling way). And with her breaking free from him he lost the only human connection he actually wanted in his life. At any rate it feels like a very satisfying conclusion to me.

#sweet smell of success #old movies #movie recommendation #movie 1957 #50s #50s movies #tony curtis #burt lancaster #50s actress #50s actor #movie review #cinema #love this movie #criterion collection #hollywood #classic movies

[cve-th3mvsic]

i’m gonna be a lil inactive

my silly brain is a lil tired, and social interactions are becoming a little overwhelming- i’m struggling to generally mentally keep up, i’m gonna try n take some time to catch up

___

social interactions have been a little more overwhelming for my brain, and recently, (irl. like in real life. real, in-person encounters.), a few people have talked to me and it was like. confusing. and my brain was like “..whaaat?”

like, they started the conversation (or at least tried to). they started to talk to me. i’m not sure how tf to. to respond.

so, some story.

one guy was like “yooo… i’m cooked..” in english — because he didn’t have his essay finished. and he like literally looked at me as i walked into the classroom to sit down, he looked at me and said “benni i’m cooked”

…okaay?.. uh.. whoops? sorry? i. what am i supposed to say?.. (i didn’t say anything, i just sat down)

that guy, uhh let’s call him door because it makes no sense, and only little sense to me (i correlate it w/ his name). in english class, we’re working on essay stuff (which i hate). i don’t have my essay finished, and we were doing stations with essays, so the people who didn’t have theirs finished had to go to a certain table and work on their essay. i was one of those people. and so was door. and another guy that i have geometry with too. mmm let’s call that guyyy… glass? fuck if i know a good code name for him.

—let’s talk about glass (bc i can’t tell you one story without at least 5 others)—

i get bad vibes from glass. i do not really like the way he talks. he says shit that he should not say, and in my opinion, nobody should say (specifically: he says a slur that i don’t even feel like mentioning because it just. i do not like it. he should not be saying it.).

he’s said something about a mutual friend (she’s my friend and she’s friends w/ him. i mean- yah a mutual friend. i js don’t talk to glass so-). let’s call her (the mutual friend) mm… button? i dunno. so button and i are friends, more like acquaintances. (most friends i mention i have are acquaintances. the most we share is a “hey” “how are you?” “that’s good, i’m okay ^^” and that’s about it.) and she’s a really sweet person. very kind. button is very nice.

so in english class (i think glass and button are friends, not fully sure, but they seem like it), i was sitting behind glass, and next to glass was another mutual friend, (she’s friends w/ button and glass too i think. i dunno if we’re actually friends, but that’s not the point), lily, and he said to lily “i don’t like [button],” lily asked him why, he said “she’s too overdramatic” and that was a big no-no to me. what the hell dude.

i do not like that he said that. and behind her back. and i witnessed it. like sure, okay, maybe you were speaking your mind, but that’s not cool dude. i don’t like that.

—okay, done w/ glass for now—

english is the class that i have most social interactions in. i have to talk to people more in the class than others.

so, the people that i have english with are door, glass, button too, uhh and DVD (i’ve mentioned before).

i’ve had to sit w/ door for the station stuff because we didn’t have our essays finished. there were a few other people too, obviously.

but so, door, i saw him lookin at me every now and then in class. not creepily, but like. ya know? like i saw him staring at me or glancing at me or something and then he’d look away and i’d look away like “is he looking at me?” — i could be wrong, but i mean i have a hunch. door, and glass, and DVD too at one point, i have a hunch about. like, do they. like me or something? or do they wanna talk to me? if they do i’m screwed /j — i don’t know how to talk to people- i mean i can, but it’s difficult. like if they come up to me and start conversation first. why is it so difficult-.. — i’ve become more okay with doing my own thing and not caring so much if others are bothered about it or stuff like that. i’ve gained some confidence in myself. i feel like i can start up conversation if i want to. and if i don’t, oh well. bummer.

what was my point here…

i dunno

if you read this, that’s cool beans ^^

i’m going on a break now, so i won’t be interacting as much at all. i hope you all have an amazing day, week, month, and year! <3 stay safe, stay hydrated, stay hype

___

#announcement #gonna try n take a mental break ^^ #little story too

[umeoniii]

OMG im very sorry about that ask being deleted😭😭 it was me who sent it and im ngl i forgot what i requested in there🥺 bc i have shit memory

but if i can request again for the college au, would it be okay for it to be about where hange and reader meet in college but have different majors, though they have a big mutual friend group and thats how they met, but i do remember it was hcs of reader and hange being in college together and just being a cutesy couple <33 (i think..) if im wrong then this is embarrassing but please do write what makes you comfy! i’ll love it either way 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hange meeting their lover at college hcs

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡••ʕ•̫͡•

okay so i feel like she'd be the outgoing nerdy person

hange was REALLY into her studies, she barley went to parties, trips, practically almost didn't have the college experience bes school was more important

she definitely majored something involving technology or science, maybe like computer science, chemistry, physics something that peaks her interests. she had very few friends, associates yeah a lot, but she wasn't like super popular and stuff. either way she's very sociable and friendly which is very good, very nice. moblit, erwin and levi would probably be her only friends and like tbh it looked odd to others. (there were definitely some rumors at once 🫣)

anyways one day she met you through a friend that you both knew. you went up to her bcs you just saw her doing her work at a table in the cafe on campus, you initiated the convo by asking where she came from, her major so on and so forth. lowkey you were slick with it too, bcs deep down you desired to know more about this mysterious hange, it was planned from the start, you even asked your friends for advice.

anyways she talked with you and ended up spiraling about endless nerdy stuff and you just admired her while she talked about it. you were lowkey intrigued. she eventually apologized, then you found the right way to get her number.

"we can continue this convo another time, here's my number" you smiled she was vv happy about it because she finally had another friend! no more of the same 3 men everyday! yay!

this was the start of something wonderful, quickly you became her best friend (sorry moblit :(. ) you guys did everything together, you visited her at her job as a lab assistant and she’d visit you at your job as a cashier at a department store. you two would go hang out at the arcade, local restaurants. she'd take you out to the beach, you'd help her study, you guys would play videos games together. literally everything, you guys were the best of friends.

everyone was literally so surprised when they saw she had another friend that she was oh so close to. they were happy for you guys though!

one day you came to terms that maybe you liked your bestfriend in more than a friendly way. and it ATE YOU UP. you didn't know if they felt the same way, you didn't know if it would screw things up. you were so scared to even look at hange :(

she noticed and got worried one day and asked you if you were alright and if you wanted to stay at her apartment and study. you obliged obvi but was still shaking in your boots. you complimented her over and over and she kept saying "aww thank you, i love you so much too” and it finally became your last straw and you told her how you felt. how you actually felt. she got really flushed and explained how she felt the same way but just didn't know how to tell u. it ended with you guys sharing a sweet somber kiss and making your relationship official! you also stayed over her apartment ;)

you guys told everyone about it, your friend groups basically combined lowkey. you guys still studied together. hange would always surprise you with dinner after a long day of classes and you guys would head straight back to her apartment to chill.

she'd take you out on sweet dates, she even goes to parties now just for you.

she literally loves u so much and wouldn’t change what college she goes to for the world.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡••ʕ•̫͡•

a/n! sorry this wasn’t really in hc format or wtv, also it’s all good anon! i liked writing this one, and you guys can request as much as you guys want. i LOVE writing, im not in a creative writing class for naught ><

#umeswritin!~ #hange zoe #snk hange #hange zoë #hange x reader #aot imagines #aot hcs #aot hange

[metalhurricane]

Eddie Munson x Goth! reader, part 7

Masterlist

Note : y/n repeated one year, so she’s 18, Eddie’s supposed to be 19-20. y/n’s shorter than Eddie

I have no idea how DnD works, so sorry for not going into details about it

The rest of the week was pretty much the same. She was getting accustomed to her new school pretty well, putting assholes in their places, remembering her classes, having new subjects studies. Also, as time went by, things got weirder for y/n... it started with things changing places in her room, now she started hearing footsteps and whispers... Grandma’s house was old, from the Victorian era. Maybe ghosts ? She also noticed in the corners of her eyesight shadows...

Other than weird stuff at home, the whole group instantly started to hangout with y/n, and so did she. It was meeting with each other before class, during lunch, sitting next to each other in English and geography, and meeting again when the last bell rang.

They did not go out every night though, but a real friendship started to bloom, between the Hellfire club, and y/n. Especially between her and one of them...

Mike : “You still haven’t met Lucas by the way !” Dustin, eating his lunch : “Yeah, well he spends his entire time at the basketball club, so...” Eddie : “A game where you toss baaaaalls into laundry baskets ! and we’re the crazy ones...” y/n giggled at that : “I can’t wait to meet him. When he’ll be free, of course.”

Later that day, during biology, she saw that she shared the class with Steve and Robin. She went up to them before the class started, but hesitating, not knowing how she was going to be received.

y/n : “Hi Robin, hi Steve” Robin : “Oh, hi y/n !” Steve : “Hi” y/n : “Looks like we’re sharing this class, that is cool... unless you don’t want to be seen around me, which I understand...”

Robin and Steve looked at each other before replying.

Steve : “I mean... sure, you have a distinct look. But we’re not assholes. And you were very sweet the other night.” Robin : “Yes, c’mon, stay with us. Plus, you’re new here, I saw you hanging out with the Hellfire club... you need a girl-friend” she winked as she bumped into y/n’s arm.

Steve rolled his eyes at Robin’s sentence. The trio spend the class together, making jokes and trying to be discreet. y/n was happy that she made new friends, and a girl, finally !

Another day, y/n had to go to the library to check for a book in history, something that she was actually interested in. The Black Plague in Middle Ages. y/n was quickly looking inside the book while walking, when she bumped into someone, making some of her notes fall on the ground.

y/n : “oh my, I'm so sorry !”

She kneeled to pick up the papers to give them back to the person in front of her. A girl, quite petite, with curly brown hair, with her eyebrows furrowed.

y/n, smiling : “Here, again, I’m sorry, I’m very clumsy” Nancy : “It’s okay, no worries...”

y/n noticed that the girl in front of her seemed frightened, so she backed up.

y/n : “...I'm sorry to scare you off, that’s not my goal...”

Nancy was surprised that she said that. And she was even more surprised that she was very polite, and soft. Wait, didn’t Mike told her about y/n ?

Nancy : “No, no ! It’s just... we’re not used to see anything remotely different here you know... I’m Nancy Wheeler” she said, with her hand out y/n, smiling : “I’m y/n l/n, hi ! nice to meet you !” she said, shaking Nancy’s hand. Nancy, more relaxed : “You know my brother, Mike” y/n : “Mike is your brother ? oh that’s amazing ! yes, he’s very kind, and a good friend. I’m sure his sister is just as great as he is” she said with a smile. Nancy, slightly blushing : “Oh... you’re too nice, y/n” y/n : “I wish I could have talked longer to you, but I got the Plague waiting on me” she said, tapping on her book.

Nancy giggled, and had to put her hand before her mouth, so she wouldn’t make too much noise. The two girls said bye to each other, both happy that this first meeting went very well.

----

Another week passed, and Eddie taught y/n how to play DnD. She took notes of it, and learned a lot about it in a small amount of time.  One Saturday afternoon, the Hellfire Club met for a campaign, and y/n had to go watch and take notes.

She had repaired her bike, painted it black, and changed the tires, so she could drive around again. She went to Hawkins High, parked the bike, and followed the hallway, with Eddie’s instructions written on a piece of paper

“door on the right  you walk long all the way door on the left”

y/n was wearing her winkle picker boots, black tights, a long skirt, a tank top with a large sweat over it, her leather jacket, a scarf and a beanie. It was still February after all. Eyeliner and lipstick. And all black, as per usual.

She finally found the door, with the sign on it. She could hear voices from inside, so she knocked and entered.

Everyone was here, getting ready for the campaign. They all saluted her, so did she, when she noticed an unfamiliar face. She walked to Lucas to introduce herself.

y/n : “Hi, i’m y/n.” Lucas looking up to her : “I’m Lucas Sinclair.” he looked at Eddie, looked back at her, and he sighed “Sorry, it’s not against you” he then turned back to Eddie “really ? I miss one week and you replaced me already ?” Eddie : “She’s not replacing you, and because you prefer to play this stupid ball game, she’s here in case you can’t come to one of our campaigns.” Lucas : “yeah, that’s what I said”

y/n, turned around, going to Dustin and Mike, while Eddie and Lucas were arguing.

y/n : “Well, I'm not welcomed here apparently, I should go home...” Dustin : “no no no ! It’s just that... Lucas has been very busy with the basketball team lately, they’re training for this big match next month, and he missed our last big campaign... this is why.”

y/n turned around, looking at the two young men arguing. She walked up to them, standing there. She cleared her throat, and the room went silent. All eyes were on her.

y/n : “Eddie, be a bit more comprehensive, Lucas must have a busy schedule from what I’ve heard.” she turned to Sinclair “Lucas, relax. I’m not here to steal anyone’s place, and certainly not yours. I came here to take notes, to learn.” she showed her notebook “And if one day you, or anyone in this room can’t make it for a campaign, then I’ll be happy to be a fire witch for one night. But for now, you are at your place, Lucas.” She said with a smile.

Suddenly the atmosphere became more relaxed. Eddie looked at y/n in awe. Is there one thing she couldn’t do ? he thought to himself. Also, her being this firm has ignited something in him... The campaign started, while y/n was sitting at the end of the table, but a bit further than the others. She watched the entire game, without a word, taking notes, and writing questions for later.

The campaign was a success, everyone was cheering. Lucas walked up to y/n, scratching his neck.

Lucas : “y/n ?” y/n : “yeah?” Lucas : “I’m sorry... earlier... I was a jerk” y/n : “You were not, no worries. I don’t have any hard feelings towards you”

They both smiled to each other, when y/n showed him her notes, and asking him questions about the game. Lucas answered happily, and they talked a lot about DnD, Lucas explaining a lot to her, while she was taking notes.

Eddie was looking at her from his throne, his elbows on his knees and fists under his chin. She was sitting at the table, easier to take notes from what Sinclair had to say. y/n had her back facing Eddie, when he noticed that her large sweat fell a bit on her shoulder, revealing her shoulder and her neck. His mind started to wander, as he imagined the softness of her skin. Him, touching it, with is fingers, his lips, his tongue...

“Eddie !”

Eddie jump scared in his seat, cursing the person who took him out of his transe.

Eddie : “Jesus what’s wrong with you Jeff ?” Jeff : “Well, we have a gig tonight, remember ?”

Keith, who was coming up to them, was looking where Eddie’a eyes were. He laughed softly and said “Well, can’t blame him”. Eddie smacked him in the arm, before standing up.

Eddie : “Well, gentlemen, Queen of the freaks. I don’t want to throw you out the window, but we have a gig tonight, so we must go.” y/n : “What ?? you got a gig tonight and NO one told me about it ?”

Everyone looked at her.

y/n : “I mean... I thought we were friends” she mimicked wiping fake tears off, which she earned a laugh from everyone.

Gareth, scratching his neck : “Well, we’re not rockstars...” y/n : “Yet.” She said with a finger in the air “But I don’t care, I want to see your band play ! If you want, of course...” Eddie : “y-yeah, of course ! Do you want to come with us directly ?” y/n : “yeah, I got my bike back, so I’ll follow you” Eddie, arching his brow : “y/n, what did I tell you ?” y/n : “you’re not going to drive me everywhere Munson, you’re not my taxi... Plus, you probably have all your instruments in your car. No worries, I’ll follow”.

Eddie sighed but accepted it. y/n was right. Everyone helped to clean the room, and the kids then left. It was Saturday night, after all, youngest had sleepovers, while the eldest could go out.

Eddie and the band all gathered together, trying to fit everything and everyone in the van. (remember it’s the 80s, all the shit they did back then is illegal now lmao)

While y/n biked towards the van, Eddie closed the backdoors of his van.

Eddie : “Okay, so I’ll try to drive as slow as possible. In case you can’t see the van anymore, just stop and I’ll drive back to you, okay ?” y/n : “got it !”

They left the parking lot, while y/n biked behind. She turned the light of her bike on while riding, pestering that she didn’t do it earlier. y/n still managed to follow Eddie’s van pretty easily, when they arrived at the bar.

The band went inside and started to get ready by unpacking their instruments and tuning them. y/n walked inside the bar, one drunk and the barman looked weirdly at her, while the other 4 were too drunk to even notice her. She sat at the bar and looked at the drinks.

Barman : “You sure you can handle my booze girl ?”

y/n looked at him dead in the eye, she took her jacket off, and pulled down the sleeve of her big sweat, revealing a big tattoo on her right shoulder.

y/n : “Is that enough proof for you that I'm old enough ?”

The barman kept eye contact, while the drunks looked at the silent exchange. A few seconds passed until the barman started to laugh, and asked y/n what she wanted. y/n relaxed, while putting her sleeve back in place.

y/n : “A beer please.” Barman, serving her a beer : “You know, I’ve never seen anyone look like you darling. You’re kinda scary, but hot at the same time.”

y/n giggled and thanked the barman, and walked to the stage, waiting for Corroded Coffin.

A few minutes passed by when all four guys went on stage. y/n was cheering for them like no one did before, and all of them were smiling. The first song started, and y/n was already handbanging.

From Eddie’s point of view, he was in a dream. He was playing with his band, and had a hot girl cheering and having fun on their music. And part of that cheering, was for him.

His fingers glided unconsciously on his electric guitar while thinking about that. Or maybe, not thinking, just feeling. The feeling of y/n’s eyes on him, that made him fluster.

The night went on, and when the last song finished, y/n made all the noise she could, and cheered and clapped for her friends. Said friends who were grinning and thanking her a lot. They started to unplug all the instruments and pack them, when Eddie jumped down the stage to go talk to her.

y/n : “Eddie ! you guys are great !” Eddie, blushing : “Thank you y/n...” y/n, taking Eddie’s hands : “and you !!! you’re such a good guitarist Eddie !”

Eddie had to turn his head because his cheeks were burning. When he looked at her again, she had stars in her eyes, and started to blush also.

Eddie, gripping y/n’s hands : “Thank you, that means... the world to me.” 

Eddie looked at her dead in the eye. His dark brown eyes melted into hers, she couldn’t resist his dark eyes, she was flustered and looked away. y/n looked down and noticed that they were still holding hands. She slowly ended the contact between them, muttering a sorry. Before Eddie could say anything, the barman called him to give him a drink.  One drunk started to talk with Eddie about fishing materials, while he ordered a beer. y/n was waiting next to him, when the door of the bar burst open.

Three male figures appeared. With green jackets.

#Eddie Munson fic #Eddie Munson fanfic #Eddie Munson x y/n #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x goth reader #Eddie Munson x goth! reader