#she won’t ever allow herself to feel happy or accomplished until she faces the true final boss:

[ekingston]

What do you think would be lena's courage gaunlet test

therapy

#seriously! #some of the bravest shit a person can do is be honest with themselves #and Lena particularly likely feels she’d just be retraumatizing herself #little does she know the hardest truth she’ll have to face is that she’s her own worst enemy #and no matter how hard she tries to get out from under the weight of the luthor name #she won’t ever allow herself to feel happy or accomplished until she faces the true final boss: #her own inner critic and tendency to self-sabotage #(no i’m not desperately invested in this idea. stop looking at me like that) #ask me things! #anonymous

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! < This is Part 19!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

Song Here- (X)

Big thanks to @imdoingathingmom​ and @bbibbisan​ for doing a sensitivity read! 

* This could be worse, you remind yourself as you feed your deer

* Much, much worse

* “How much am I supposed to give them?” The tall, ebony colored man says from beside you, his bright red eyes seem to glow under the pale moonlight

* “Um.. for that one, you can feed it as much kale as you want, but be careful James, he’s kinda insatiable. He’ll eat your clothes if you give him the chance”

* James nods, tearing the kale in careful ribbons.

* He smiles when the deer eats right out of his palm.

* You’re not going to lie, you were 100% surprised when the blond turned out to be Laurent and the black guy was James

* You were even more surprised when he asked if he could help you feed your animals

* You watch him smile as he gives the deer a gentle pat, feeding it more kale

* Yeah, you’re having a hard time believing the teddy bear in front of you is some psychopath tracker

* The story went that while you and Edward were out, the coven decided to play some baseball up in the mountains, and the sound caught their attention as they were passing through

* Apparently this was a fast friends situation, because Carlisle and Laurent have been reminiscing about their geezer pre-colonialism days

* You look to the house, you can see Edward’s inside from the window, his eyes meet yours and he gives you a small smile

* Well that seems hopeful

* “I used to take animals before I turned” James’s deep voice calls you back to the situation at hand

* “Oh were you a farm hand?” You’re peeling an orange, which Henrietta the third is already licking at impatiently

* “Um, not quite, I was a slave”

* You stop peeling the orange

* James tells you his story- he was a third generation slave, fathered from the master, his mother passed away shortly after his birth

* “I was lucky- in a sense, the master -my father- he was a superstitious man, and my mother- she had a reputation”

* His mother was a slave in name only, was what he told you. She was more of a mistress or a concubine.

* “At least that’s what they said, Though I’m not sure how much of that is true, I’m fairly certain she didn’t enjoy being with him. She was just trying to survive”

* His mother had been ostracized, even amongst others like them, but not because of her social position in the household

* “They thought she was a witch,” he admitted. “Bad things happened to people who wronged her, and good things happened to those who helped her”

* That sounds like Alec and Jane

* “When she was on her death bed, she laid a “curse” on the owner of the plantation, that if I wasn’t taken care of she would haunt him and bring misfortune on the entire family for several generations”

* And so, James became the unfavorable third son of the Pickett family.

* “I had many opportunities from her sacrifice, I learned to read and write, but I was more or less shunned from the house- both by my family and by the other slaves”

* It was lonely, almost painful.

* “But there was one thing, a ray of light-“ his eyes flit towards the window, and you follow his gaze to the red haired woman in the green chair

* “Victoria, she was my eldest brothers fiancé”

* The youngest daughter of the wealthiest man in town, from the outside she was a blossoming socialite

* The most beautiful girl in town

* But behind closed doors...

* Victoria was the product of an affair, a mistresses child, reluctantly brought into the household when her mother passed

* “She had big dreams, she loved to read, she yearned to study, to educate herself, to use her mind”

* And so, two lost souls found each other

* “Our family would never have allowed it. So we decided to run away together” he smiles, but it’s bitter.

* They claimed he had abducted her, perhaps to save face, and sent slave catchers to find them.

* “I’m not quite sure what happened-I remember being shot and telling Victoria to go in without me- all I ever wanted was for her to be happy.”

* This is heartbreaking

* “When I woke up, Laurent was there, and my throat burned”

* So Laurent had been with them for all that time, he was their creator

* “Afterwards the three of us worked in ‘the underground railroad’ helping slaves to the north where they could be free”

* “I’m thankful to him, for saving us, we wouldn’t have been able to be in a world where we could be together if it weren’t for him-“

* “But you wonder what the trade off is” you finish and he nods

* No longer human

* Purpose only lasts so long in this life, after all human life only has meaning because you know one day it will end

* “I found a penchant for tracking, it turns out what they said about my mother might have held some truth”

* James calls it “extreme luck”, there’s no other word for his gift.

* If he’s looking for something - or someone- it’ll inevitably find him through pure luck. Like the world bends to his will

* But it only works with finding things

* “These days we work as bounty hunters, and we only feed from people beyond redemption”

* Murder and rapists it sounds like

* “I didn’t know there was another way”

* “That’s understandable, I didn’t know either until I met Carlisle” he looks at you with kind eyes, and so with a deep breath you tell him your story

* About the Volturi, your parents, Alec and Jane-

* “I think you would like them, they’re a little off putting at first, but they warm up pretty fast”

* “Like cats” he says

* “Like cats” you agree

* You tell him about meeting Carlisle, how he saved you,

* how Eleazer gave you a home and a family,

* and about Edward, who gave you a chance to live

* Not just to survive, but to truly live

* “We’re not so different you and I” James says with a smile, and you mirror his expression

* “No we aren’t”

* Though of course you wouldn’t compare the relatively privileged life you had to his

* But the loneliness you both experienced is not all that different

* The tie that binds you all

* And then you do something you’ve never done before

* “You know, I don’t belong to this coven, not really” it’s the first time you’ve admitted it to anyone

* “Oh?”

* “My coven is in Denali, they have a permanent settlement there, and they follow the er... same alternative lifestyle”

* He laughs

* “I’m sure they would love two or three more, we’ve got like thirteen spare rooms in that house”

* You still remember the antiquated scooby Doo mansion-esque hallways filled with armor and swords

* He looks at you for a long time, but it doesn’t make you uncomfortable

* “I won’t follow another leader”

* You nod, that’s understandable.

* Laurent created them, and it seems he’s happy with their current lifestyle, they won’t betray him

* “Not unless it’s you”

* ........

* What?!?!

* “M-me?” You sputter, your orange peel filled hand clutching your chest

* “Why would you want to follow me? I’m only nineteen years old- I don’t even have a high school degree yet!”

* He laughs at your panicked expression

* “You know that doesn’t matter to our kind,” his eyes twinkle as he looks at you.

* “Call it witchcraft if you like, but you’re going to accomplish great things, I can feel it deep in my bones”

* Garrett had said the same thing, but the way James says it-

* You really believe it.

* He doesn’t want anything from you you, not a kiss or a date-

* He just wants to be your friend, to be apart of your vision

* Whatever it may be

* “Here’s my card-“

* He holds out his business card to you, unlike Garett’s it’s a cheap cardboard white with his profession and number on the front

* “If you ever find yourself in need of someone to help with your animals, let me know”

* You nod, taking his card in your hands

* “Um there’s one more thing I could use your help with-“

* He points to the large window, right at Alice

* “I know that girl but she doesn’t seem to know me.”

* “Well how does that work”

* He tells you how many years ago, a woman was looking for her sister.

* “It was a bit of a Cinderella story”

* The woman’s father had remarried quickly after his wife’s death, and the step mother had sent his children away. The younger sibling, his client, was lucky and was sent to a relative.

* But the older, who had suspected something amiss had happened to her mother, was sent to a mental asylum

* “You know me, I find things, it’s my gift.”

* But when he found the girl, she was no longer human. Already turned.

* “I tried to approach her, but she didn’t seem to remember anything”

* “Alice doesn’t have any of her memories from before she turned, she woke up in the woods all alone”

* The only thing guiding her were her visions.

* James nods solemnly

* “Should I...should I tell her?”

* You look to Alice.

* She’s smiling at something Victoria said.

* How many nights has she spent wondering who she really was, feeling so happy she had a family and a partner, but wondering if she left someone behind

* How would she feel when she found out?

* “I think you should tell her.”

* If it was you, even if it hurt, you would want to know

* James nods

* “Okay”

* You walk inside together, and immediately look to Edward

* Your own personal vampire lie detector

* “He did lie about one thing-“ Edward tells you once James pulls Alice aside.

* Was he actually tracking Alice to hunt her?

* Your heart drops at the thought

* “His mother didn’t die from natural causes, she committed suicide because she knew it would secure his future” Edward tells you with a somber expression.

* “He just didn’t want you to feel bad”

* You smile and nod.

* What a strong person, you can’t even imagine

* Edward pulls you into his arms, placing a soft kiss in your hair

* You feel bitter sweet about the whole thing

* Especially as you watch them leave in the morning, right before you’re going to head off to school

* Jasper is holding Alice who seems vulnerable, but relieved

* They’re leaving so soon, you didn’t even get a chance to get to talk to Victoria or Laurent

* You watch James stand next to Victoria, they’re talking to Carlisle.

* They’re not even touching, but you can feel the intimacy radiate off of them

* You wonder if maybe you and Edward might get to be that close one day

* James meets your gaze and smiles

* “I’ll see you around sometime leader!” He calls out, earning confused looks from your coven and his

* You smile back and give him a nod

* You’re still not sure what your future holds

* But you know you wouldn’t have gotten this far if it weren’t for the kindness of others

* You want to make them proud

* And then in a gust of wind, he’s gone

* They all are

* “See, I didn’t commit murder or anything, I told you things were different” Edward says with a teasing smile

* You roll your eyes and lightly shove him while he just laughs

* He’s right though, that was different

* “Enough flirting kids, you’re going to be late for school, and I really don’t want to deal with that dick in the front office acting all high and mighty because they think I can’t control my children” Esme yells

* School?

* Oh sh*t you didn’t do your homework

* “Edward-“

* “I’ll drive and tell you the answers on the way there” he says catching the keys you toss to him

* “It’s the-“

* “The Trig homework, I know. It’s your worst subject”

* Well you do struggle with trig quite a bit

* “Though to be fair you’re pretty terrible at all of them”

* He barks laughing when you shove him before getting into the car through the passenger side

* Carlisle and Esme watch you from the doorstep

* “They’re so good together-“ Esme starts

* “I know, I never thought our Edward would look at anyone like that”

* Carlisle and Esme exchange a look

* Before you came around-

* Well it wasn’t bad, but he certainly didn’t look like that.

* And he never smiled like that either

* Immortality had hardened him, made him into a man

* But with you-

* Well, with you he looks just like a boy

* A boy in love for the first time

* “I wonder what kind of children they might have had” Esme wonders with a small grin

* Him, with his ability to read minds, and you with that positively monstrous power of yours

* Any number of possibilities is possible

* “Best not to think of such things” Carlisle murmurs

* Though you two may be together for eternity, with the endless options, you’ll never have that.

* Esme nods

* “I’m late to get to the hospital, surgery this morning” he mumbles kissing her on the cheek before walking to the car

* She watches him go, his sleek white Volvo disappearing down the road before looking up to the sky

* “What a shame, I would have liked a cute grandchild or two running around” she mumbles to herself before turning to go inside

* “Entertaining always leaves me exhausted, guess I’ll give my employees the day off”

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#twilight imagine #twilight headcanon #twilight reader insert #twilight fanfiction #twilight saga #twilight #edward cullen imagine #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen headcanon #edward cullen fanfiction #midnight sun #superhero-imagines

[retroyousei]

Female characters in retro shojo [70s edition, part 1]

Ah, the 1970s (and early 80s), where a majority of the shojo manga stories took place in a distant European country or in America, surrounding either orphan girls from the 19th or early 20th century, who remain cheerful and have adventures, trying to find out who they are, making friends and falling in love, or epic historical stories filled with war, scandals and larger than life characters. If the manga was taking place in Japan, the plot was somehow more down to earth -though most of the time it restrained the same amount of unrealism- and it was either about following the journey of a girl who pursues the career of her dreams and evolves into a notable person, or a high school story filled either with melodrama and angst or a more heartwarming romantic comedy. But in this two-part article I won’t talk about plot tropes of the shojo manga of that era -as this topic deserves an exclusive article-, but about the female characters (I will dedicate an article on male characters some other time). Those characters are very important, as they set the standards of today’s manga and anime. But it should be noted that back then the formula of their design and characteristics are different from today’s. Those are the categories that I’ve noticed, regarding the appearance and personality.

The “average” protagonists

They are the most common category. Usually, they come from middle class and they are presented either as cheerful and a little dense schoolgirls, or plain looking and unrefined, as oppose to their antagonists or rivals who are well educated, beautiful and more talented, but this may serve as a determination for them to improve. Other times they are presented as headstrong heroines, ahead of their time, who refuse to compromise and for this they are a pain to their old-fashion society. Either way, they are kind, good, well-intentioned and want to help the others, that’s why they make friends easily. The thing that really works with these characters and makes them much more interesting than they may seem, is that they are independent and built their future on their own and they never give up, no matter what happens and what someone might say about them. Even when they are not sure of themselves, they always keep trying, until they reach to their dream. They use their obstacles as strength and determination to go on, proving that they are not average at all.

Maya, the protagonist of “Glass Mask” is a great example of this. She starts as a good-for-nothing daughter of a poor family, who isn’t particularly accomplished, but has a hidden passion for acting which she hadn’t realise it herself at that point. But when she is discovered by Tsukigake, a former legendary actress, she realises how much she wants to be an actress to a point that she lied saying that her mother allowed her to study to sensei’s acting school and ran away from home. Not even when her mother told her that she doesn’t consider her as her daughter anymore, she didn’t gave up, in spite of being very hurt by this. Her path towards acting wasn’t easy. Many times she has to face many who say that she doesn’t belong to that industry, or who are jealous of her talent and means her harm, but with her faith in herself, she always overcomes those obstacles. An admirable thing about her is that she dislikes fame, being shy, as she just wants to act and that she does not gives up, no matter what and even when she does, she quickly stands up. The most interesting dynamic of the story is her worthy rivalry with Ayumi, that is clearly a case of the trope “technician vs performer”, with Maya as the performer, as her standard method to learn how to play a character is to become that character. As the story progresses, Maya evolves from a girl with a hidden talent, to a young actress who portraits an original take to classic characters, but who still had much to learn, to one of the greatest actresses of her generation.

In “Yokohama Monogatari”, Uno starts as a plain, poor, orphan girl, who is ignorant about the world, as she hasn’t even seen the sea before and she believed that westerners were vampires who could drink people’s blood, that’s why they had blonde hair and blue eyes. She starts to work as a companion in a rich family to their daughter Mariko, who is the same age as her. Besides their differences, they become quickly best friends. While Mariko is a little spoiled, Uno, despite of her ignorance of world, can be more considerate and responsible in some matters. She also has a lust for learning and soon her and Mariko pursuade her family to go to school. There, she meets many people, among them there are a few foreigners too, she makes a lot of friends, and she excels at all of her studies, being hardworking. As the years passed by, Japan changes and allows exchange of ideas from many cultures -it’s Meiji era we are taking about, that means the last quarter of the 19th century- and Uno evolves from a poor, -many would say- hopeless for her situation, clueless of the world girl, to an open minded, educated and refined woman, surrounded by many people she loves.

In “Tokimeki Tonight”, Ranze -well except of being the daughter of Dracula and warewolf and having her own vampire powers as well- is an average girl who is friendly, sweet and little quirky girl who goes to school and falls in love with Shuun. Some may say that she is pretty basic, but in fact, she knows her self worth well, so even when her parents were disappointed with her not having any power yet, at the beginning of the story, she wasn’t particularly bothered by it. Also she is very headstrong that she falls in love with a human boy, while she knows well that a creature from the demon world and a human cannot be together. But in spite of all of that, she decides to stay true to her own feelings and even though she’s not so sure about Shuun’s feelings for her either, she doesn’t give up and waits for him, because she hopes and deep down knows that he likes her too and she is right. And even when her parents want her to marry prince Aaron of the demon world and even the king- learn that she likes a human, in spite of that being against the rules, she isn’t afraid to stand up for her beliefs. Later though, we learn that Shuun is the lost prince of the demon world, so he is not a human after all, but that’s another story.

In “Aim For The Ace”, Hiromi is a typical schoolgirl who struggles to get better in tennis, when she gets selected as one of the club’s main players in school by the new coach, as he saw potential in her. Some of her seniors are jealous of her because of that and at first she thinks that she is not worth such a discrimination, but soon she improves and realises how much she loves tennis. There’s also a very similar rivalry dynamic with “glass mask” between Hiromi and Reika who grow to be worthy opponents.

In “Haikara San Ga Toru”, Benio is a headstrong young woman who studies Kendo, drinks sake and prefers reading literature and feminist ideas, rather than being interested in housework. She also likes to dress in western clothes, rather than the traditional kimono and strongly believes that women should have the right to decide for their future on their own and they should marry for love. But her world turns upside down when her father announces that he has arranged a marriage for her. The one that he indends for her is someone she knew before, very briefly and accidentally, a lieutenant named Shinobu. Of course, she refuses, being loyal to her ideals and she goes out of her way to avoid him, just to satisfy her pride, in spite of actually starting developing feelings for him. When she moves to his grandparents’ house to get prepared as his wife, she purposely fails in all of her duties as a housewife and constantly argues with his grandparents, but all of that only makes Shinobu fall for her even more. It’s only when he leaves to go to the war, when she realises her feelings for him and during at that time when everyone thought that he was dead, she matured and became even stronger, remaining loyal to him and determined to work as a journalist to support his family, but also tracking him down, hoping that he’s still alive. Of course, at the very end, they live happily ever after together. Benio’s character development is admirable; starting as a clever, but headstrong girl, to an independent and wise woman, proving that you don’t have to disagree with everyone in order to prove that you are the one who chooses how to live your own life.

The villains

Their extreme pride and vain is their common nature. Most of the times they come from a wealthy family, so they are either oujo-sans who are always dressed elegantly, are seemingly refined and they tend to have curly, blonde hair -as blonde hair seem to be associated with wealth and sophistication in Japan-, or they are just spoiled brats that demand that everyone will do as they say. They are the main antagonist of the story for different reasons. The most common one is that they are jealous of the heroine, either because they are their love rivals and they are jealous of the heroine’s relationship with the love interest of the story, or because they are just pathologically jealous of the heroine because of her looks, her happiness, her luck and her loving nature. Another reason they act the way they do is because they want power and success, or they just want to secure all of that. The worse and least complex reason of all is that they are just mean for no particular reason.

Eliza, from “Candy Candy” is the typical alpha b*tch who is pathologically jealous of Candy. At first, she along with her brother, makes her life miserable, by blaming her for the bad things they do, such as hurting the horses in the stables, provoking her and then telling to their mother that she’s wild and leaving her alone in a town she doesn’t know and locking her in dark rooms. After that, during their time in London, Eliza says to everyone that Candy is an orphan who made her life miserable, even blaming her for Antony’s death. Later, having the habit of falling in love with the one that Candy likes too, school, she falls for Terry and constantly tries to turn him against her, failing miserably. She also writes a fake letter to her that it was supposedly from Terry and to Terry too, to meet each other in the stables at night and with this, she blabs them to the teachers and Candy, having no choice, leaves school. Later, when Candy was pursuing a career as a nurse, she continues her cruel ways and her mother also threats the director of the hospital where she was working, that if they won’t fire her, the Leagan family will withdraw their funds for the hospital and she also made sure that no hospital from Chicago will hire her, leaving Candy in a difficult situation. Those are only of few of the things that Leagan family did to Candy. The worst part is that they don’t pay for what they did at the end.

Fukiko from “Oniisama e” fits well this image; She is a refined lady from a rich family, the president of the sorority and very educated, that’s why she is admired by everyone. However, in reality she is manipulative, proud and very possessive. She wants to control everyone and she’s even willing to go out of her way to achieve what she wants. For instanse, she’s jealous of Nanako because she is close to Henmi Takehito, the one that she (Fukiko) is in love with, so to control her, she chooses her to be a member of the sorority and demands that she will stay away from him, even by pulling her into the lake and attempt to drown her . She also makes Rei’s life miserable, by stepping into her weakness, refuse to accept her as a member of their family and constantly manipulating her with the cruelest of ways. Also, it’s revealed that her friends from the sorority are feeling pressured because of her. Later, with the death of Rei, along with her realisation that Henmi and Kaoru No Kimi are truly in love, surprisingly, she regrets, gives up on her cruel ways and matures, growing even more beautiful for all of that.

Yoko from “Tokimeki Tonight” is a different case. She is the love rival of the story and the have loved Shuun ever since they were little. Being the only daughter of a rich businessman, she is spoiled and when something doesn’t go as she wants, she is is angry and demands that everything will go the way she wants. She envies Ranze for her close relationship with Makabe and ever since she accidentally saw her transforming, she tried desperately to prove others that she (Ranze) is a vampire. Her character is less dramatic and more comedic, as she is often grumpy and clumsy. But she isn’t really a bad person and she doesn’t really cause an awful lot of trouble.

In “The Rose of Versailles”, Madam Du Barry, the king’s mistress, wants to sustain her place in the court and demands that Marie Antoinette, who was at that time the dauphine, will speak to her. She also have tried to poison one of the court ladies. Countess De polignag becomes the queen’s best friend, for her own benefits and manipulates her without her (Marie Antoinette) knowing, like telling her to lie about being pregnant and also persuade her to start gambling in the court, which was illegal. She’s also Rosalie’s biological mother and accidentally kills the woman which raised her daughter and she’s the reason that her other daughter suicides, because she cannot handle the marriage the she arranged for her. Besides of her daughter’s death, she doesn’t seem to regret for any of her actions as she tries to make Rosalie merry the same man. Luckily Rosalie escapes. Also, she tried to sabotage Oscar many times and all this was just for the sake of power and money.

In “Glass Mask”, Norie Otobe, befriends Maya and she is supposedly her assistant, but in reality she just waits for the right moment to strike and steal Maya’s role and career. Unfortunately, she succeeds and it costs a lot for Maya, for a while. Luckily Ayumi discovers this and punishes her with the best way ever.

The tomboys

They are either mysterious, or lively, but one thing is for sure; they are dressed in clothes that are considered to be “manly”, they are handsome and they are constantly mistaken for a boy. They are also very elegant and educated and their image is that of a prince. That’s why they are admired by both women and men. Some may say that even though they are trying to be like a man, they are still weak, but they point out that just because they dress more “tomboyish”, doesn’t mean that it makes them less of a woman. After all, when they want to, they can transform into the most feminine girl of all. They also prove that their sexuality is not associated with their looks, as a “masculine” girl has the same possibilities of being heterosexual or homosexual, with a more “feminine” one. So, they break all the stereotypes regarding women. Many times, they are portrayed as headstrong heroines who stand up for their beliefs and their friends.

The most famous character that supports this image is Oscar from “the Rose of Versailles”. Oscar is one of the daughters of the Jerjeyes household. Not having any son, her father decided to raise her as a boy so that one day she will succeed him. Oscar dresses in boys’ clothes and learns activities like fencing and archery. When she was fourteen, she was tasked to serve as Marie Antoinette’s bodyguard. The manga often pointed out how different those two were regarding appearance and character, even if they were in the same age. Oscar has a strong sense of justice and she always protects the weak and is not afraid to challenge someone that she believes that isn’t right. Of course, she is admired by men and women alike and she is also a great and loyal friend. At one point she falls in love with Fersen, who loves Marie Antoinette. But because of her respect for the queen and her love of Fersen, she helps them, despite being heartbroken. At the end, she realises that she loves her childhood friend, Andre. She loves medieval combat, drinking heavy drinks, talking about politics and playing violin. Many pointed out that being a woman she was weaker but she always proved them wrong, pointing out that women can do anything and that it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, only how skilful you are. She was hiding her femininity not because she wanted to be a man, but because that if she acted like a woman, the society might think that she was weak and she wouldn’t be able to have the access and the freedom to do what women normally wouldn’t do back then, because women were alowed to limited things. In the early 1970s, by the time this manga was ongoing, the second wave of feminism had already started and women started fighting for equal legal and social rights, so Oscar’s character was influenced by all this.

Rei from “Oniisama e”, is admired by her fellow classmates and is also called “saint Juste”, named after one of the leaders from French Revolution, due to her physical resemblance to him. She is very charismatic, excelling to sports, piano, guitar and theatre, she is very elegant and dresses often in a black suit. Unfortunately she is drug-addict, she smokes and can be suicidal, carrying always pills and a sharp object with her. She is also obsessed with Fukiko, the sorority’s president, for many reasons, causing her to be controlled and abused by her. She also lives alone in a depressing house filled with mirrors and this also causes to be depressed. Her best friend is Kaoru no Kimi, who’s also a tomboy, but they are entirely different and she befriends Nanako and her friends. In the end she suicides, taking too many sleeping pills, having everyone, especially Nanako, left devastated.

Also from “Oniisama e”, Kaoru, is a tomboy who is strong and energetic. She is athletic and excels at basketball, but she is also very cool and doesn’t seem to care that she is the best at something that she’s doing, that’s why she is admired by her fellow classmates who gave her the nickname “Kaoru no Kimi”, from a Japanese classical novel; “the tale of Genji”. She also has a great sense of justice, as when she sees classmates being bullied, she defends them and put the bullies on their place. She is also very loyal and supportive and cares deeply about her friends, helping them when they are in need, especially her best friend, Rei, for whom she is very concerned. But in spite of her energetic appearance, she suffers from breast cancer and tries to keep it a secret, pretending that she is healthy and that everything is under control. But in fact, she pushes away her beloved, Henmi Takehito, concealing her true feelings, in order for him to be happy without her and not suffer anymore, showing how selfless she is and how much she loves him to a point of sacrificing her own feelings. At the end, it pays off and they end up together, living happily.

Another honourable mention is Rei, from “Glass Mask”. Rei is the older student of Tsukikage sensei’s company and one of Maya’s best friends. She is a tomboy who wears those characteristic 70s jeans and for some reason is mistaken by a boy -much to her dislike-, despite of being obvious that she is a girl. Being an actress, she can transform into a beautiful princess in no time, but she also portraits very well a prince. In the first volumes, she portrayed Jo, from “little women” which was a role very suited for her. As a sister figure for Maya, she is loyal, friendly and the responsible one who helps the theatre company stay organised and is a very strict teacher to Maya, helping her because she knows her potential. Also from “Glass Mask”, Keiko from the “Ikkakuju group” is also mistaken as boy, but she can transform into a pretty princess in no time.

Note: At the first half of the 20th century “Little Women” were very popular in Japan, particularly Jo, who was tomboyish and outspoken and her character had inspired the first female mangakas of the 60s for their stories and characters.

#retro shojo #shojo manga #70s manga #80s manga #glass mask #Tokimeki tonight #haikara san ga tooru #Oniisama e #the Rose of Versailles #Candy Candy #Yokohama monogatari #aim for the ace #character types #Shojo

[hamliet]

RWBY and Alchemy: The Birds

So remember when I wrote about the seven metals of alchemy? Well... there are also five birds, and like with the metals, RWBY seems to be associating a specific character with a specific bird. 

Birds are important in alchemy because they were viewed as symbols of the spirit, as “mediat[ors] between the earthly realm and heaven world.” Adam MacLean states:

The alchemist in observing the flight of birds, recognised in them a picture of the human soul undergoing spiritual development. The soul, aspiring upwards, flying free of the restraints of the earth bound body seeking the heavenly light, only to have to return to the earthly consciousness again.

Black Stage: Raven/Crow (Raven and Qrow Branwen)

The raven/crow/jackdaw is a symbol of nigredo, the blackening. This stage corresponds to earth elementally and symbolize decay and death (obviously).

It’s no coincidence that Qrow and Raven are focused on in the first part of the story, and while they still are under their own arcs, Qrow has been largely separated from his nieces and others during the past few volumes. His nieces and the rest need to grow up rather than depend on Qrow. See Splendor Solis 20:

The children are portrayed as playing with a crow/raven among them, symbolizing their immaturity. However, the adults in the back of the image are in red, showing that they have grown up.

The theme of growing up and maturation is very present in Raven’s arc: namely, she never did. She fled from her adult responsibilities in abandoning her own daughter and ran back to her childhood home, her childhood promise. She also undergoes a putrefaction, a purification by fire in a sense, through her daughter. When Yang confronts her in the vault of the Spring Maiden, she shreds every excuse Raven has, pointing out that Raven is selfish, cowardly, and childish, happy to sacrifice others but never herself. The daughter, here, is the mature one, and thus Yang wins the lamp of knowledge: Yang gave Raven a dose of self-knowledge in the vault, and we see Raven making a small step afterwards via going to see Tai.

Qrow is better off than Raven in that he doesn’t entirely run from his responsibilities... except he does, just in a different way. He drinks to dull the pain, and as a result, Ruby ends up taking care of him on their journey instead of the other way around. Qrow himself acknowledges that he has childish beliefs; his semblance is a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than an actual power.

For the first time in a while I thought, maybe, maybe I could be around somebody -anybody- without my Semblance making it… complicated. And now, it just feels like a childish dream. Gone... like everybody else.

Just like his twin sister, he’s afraid of truly getting close to people, which RWBY seems to hold up as the pillar of maturity and development. I’m not saying Qrow is as negative a character as Raven (he isn’t at all), but he is still struggling to grow up aside his nieces and their companions. In fact, this will be A Thing for all the characters who relate to birds.

The crow is often depicted as dying inside a flask:

Which could be seen as alluded to by Qrow’s alcoholism. Through not facing the darker parts of himself and not growing up, Qrow is killing himself. Fortunately, he’s been making some steps in the right direction.

Rainbow Stage: Peacock (Cinder Fall)

Look the girl has feathers on her outfit that are very reminiscent of peacocks feathers... without the eyes. We’ll get there. The feathers are described by CRWBY as “iridescent” which is a term alchemists employed historically to refer to the rainbow stage. 

Post-Blackening, the products of the great work are scattered in a variety of colors, colors that are all at war with each other. To quote Carl Jung,

It is commonly said of the peacock that it has an angel‘s feathers, a devil’s voice, and a thief’s walk.

NB: arrows are often used as symbols in part of this stage, and bows and arrows are weapons Cinder is, er, known for using too. 

Jung also comments this, which fits with Cinder being both a Maiden, associated with the seasons, and with her being an agent for change in the story as a whole:

Just as the Queen Mother or the mother of the gods grants renewal, so the peacock annually renews his plumage, and therefore has a relation to all the changes in nature.

The peacock is actually a flightless bird: post death in the Blackening, it cannot fly, but in order to proceed through the rest of the stages, it has to gather the disparate colors (ie parts of itself) in order to renew itself (yes, they’re linked to renewal and rebirth).

However, Cinder is not doing this. She received many call-outs, and has severed every bridge people have attempted to build with her. If anything, post volume 8, she seems more lost than ever. So what could be an impetus for her to do this? Well...

Why are her peacock-esque feathers missing their eyes?

The ancient Greek legend of Argus (which is a place in RWBY’s world; the place where Ruby hears Maria’s story of her silver eyes and asks Maria to train her in using her silver eyes) is that there is an immortal monstrous woman with snakes for legs named Echidna who they keep hidden in a cave, but she keeps finding ways to kill humans, until Argus finally kills her. After this, Hera has Argus guard a goddess with his hundred eyes, but then Mercury/Hermes/Thoth kills Argus, and Hera casts his eyes into peacocks’ tails to remember him. I wouldn’t read toooo much into this, but I do think it would be very, very fitting for Cinder to receive a call-out from her “kids”: Emerald and Mercury, the latter of whom is an allusion to Hermes/Mercury and the former of whom might be an allusion to Thoth. Until Cinder has been confronted by Mercury and Emerald, she won’t truly be able to see. 

I have said before that I think Ruby will use her silver eyes to save Cinder from being consumed by the worst parts of herself (as literally symbolized in the Grimm taking her over). The decay of the Blackening is washed away to reveal the color of the peacock’s iridescent tail, and so both a confrontation to get Cinder to face the worst of herself, and then pity shown to her by someone who has no reason to be kind to purify her (look, it’s a term in alchemy, and Ruby has been described as “the embodiment of purity”) of the Grimm will probably be the impetus for Cinder to change.

White Stage: Swan/Dove (Robyn Hill, maybe Winter Schnee?)

Robyn’s emblem is a white bird.

The swan symbolises the dissolving of impurity into ash. In Volume 8, when Robyn and Qrow are freed from prison, ash falls everywhere.

Like the peacock, a swan is a bird that does not fly. Robyn is grounded in Mantle, rather than Atlas. After the gathering of opposites in the Peacock’s Tail, the dove/swan “reconciles and unites opposite substances,” according to Lyndy Abraham. Swans swim along the surface of water, while the true colors are concealed beneath; swans dunk their heads underwater, which symbolizes a person diving deep into dissolution and purification. Robyn’s Semblance is also about this: it allows Robyn to sense their true colors and intentions, rather than what they attempt to protect at the surface.

I am also wondering if Winter is somehow connected to this as well, because of the appearance of white birds in her semblance. 

The focus on transformation that is part of the life cycle of a swan (ugly ducking to beautiful bird) is also perhaps symbolic of Winter’s internal development; this volume, she learned to fly on her own, growing up and shedding the need for father figures completely. She’s now able to fly (literally) freely and to save her people. But we will see; the connection is less strong here. 

Yellow Stage: Pelican (Hazel Rainart)

Due to the previous three all having links to a maiden, I wonder if the summer maiden will somehow be connected to pelican imagery, but for now, my inclination is to say that Hazel displays traits of the pelican as well, though there may be another person associated at some point. 

The pelican’s notable accomplishment is to stab its own breast and nourish its young with its own blood. It is a symbol of sacrifice. Hazel sacrifices himself to save the children: Emerald, Oscar, Jaune, Yang, and Ren. He does so by stabbing himself in the chest with numerous dust types, combining all sorts of elements (key to alchemy).

Red Stage: Phoenix (?)

This one remains to be determined. It could well could be Cinder (I mean, look at her name), plus the bird characters have thus far been adults like she is and possibly have a maiden association. 

But it could also be Mercury, because of his association with fire  and specifically with burning his “nest” as the phoenix does. When Cinder and Emerald find him, he’s burned his home. 

Plus, I think it’s pretty obvious Mercury will either get his semblance back or develop a new one, and it’s most likely going to be related to flying given his emblem and allusion. It would also fit with his having prosthetic legs: he doesn’t need them fixed, and his losses don’t make him any less human. It’s always been within his soul to fly. 

Ooooor the phoenix could be connected to Oscar, because of its association with the sun. It’s really too soon to say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#rwby alchemy #rwby meta #rwby speculation #cinder fall #mercury black #oscar pine #qrow branwen #raven branwen #robyn hill #winter schnee #alchemy #hazel rainart #rwby theory #this meta is not perfect #but i was tired of wrestling with the birds

[dany-is-my-queen]

Born To Be Yours | Part IX

Sansa Stark x Fem! Baratheon! Reader (Daenerys Targaryen x Fem! Baratheon! Reader eventually)

Season 1-8

Word Count: 2,883

Note: Sorry for the delay :(

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8

“I’m glad nothing serious happened to you or your friend.” Tyrion poured himself some wine and you accepted to drink with him.

“Me too.”

“I know you are a hero but I sense something else here... why you keep taking those risks for her?” He curiously asked.

“She has no one...” That was true, still, you were trying to keep your feelings buried.

“You love her.” You hid your blush behind the silver cup. He chuckled. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. She seems to be a good Lady. With all that your brother has done to her having you is a blessing.”

“You... you’re okay with it?” Loving her in secret was one thing but saying it out loud to someone was a different one.

“Of course! I could never judge you. You don’t dictate your heart, you have all my support, Y/N.” He warmly smiled, you bent down to hug him. This is one of the many reasons you love your uncle so much.

“Thank you, uncle.”

“Now I fully understand why you did that yesterday. Does she know?” He walked to the balcony gesturing you to follow him.

“No. And maybe it’s all in my head.” You brushed it off. “She sees me as her very good chum who saves her from my horrendous family.”

“Or perhaps she’s just afraid to admit it. After all, you are the princess. It’s not that easy. You’ll figure it out.” He tapped your shoulder. Could Sansa really feel the same? Nothing’s impossible, you just have to give it time and be patient. But with the way she looks at you... how you find comfort in her embraces... how she gently touches your hand...

You made your way to the Stark girl’s room to check on her just to find the door wide open and a scared Sansa with the bed stained of blood, her nightgown had red stains too.

The Hound was there, you scowled. You knew he was going to tell Cersei, and that was the last thing the redhead wanted. Shae arrived shortly.

“Good morning.” You said.

“Princess.” Sandor and Shae greeted. Your gaze landed on Sansa, the tears were threatening to come out. She didn’t say anything.

“I will inform the Queen.” He stated and left. Sansa threw herself into your arms. You could feel her tensing and quivering.

“Hey hey, it’s gonna be fine. He’s not gonna touch you.” You promise her, you would do anything to keep him away from her, even if that meant being punished.

“You should take a bath before you meet her grace.” The young handmaid said.

“I’m going to wait outside until you are finished, then I’ll escort you to my mother’s chambers. Don’t worry, my lady. I got you.” You assured. Her features relaxed and you gave her a small nod.

You tried to come with excuses for your mother to not force her to carry Joffrey’s babies immediately but nothing with a valid point seemed to be compelling enough.

After she was done you headed to her big room. “How is your wound?” You added to soothe the hike.

“Better. You are a very good healer.” She shyly answered.

“One of my many gifts.” You winked to ease her nerves. The Queen Regent was already expecting her, yet she was not very surprised when you showed up behind Sansa, you let her entered first.

“My love, what are you doing here?” Cersei asked you, raising her eyebrow.

“I... thought I’d give Lady Sansa some advice, I flowered almost two years ago. I know it is grubby at first.”

“It certainly is. But her mother prepared her, didn’t she?”

“She told me. I thought... it would be different.” Sansa confessed.

“In what way?” You both took a seat.

“I thought it would be less... less messy.”

“Wait until you birth a child. You’re a woman now, do you know what that means?”

“I’m fit to bear children for the King.” Yes, your heart was breaking again.

“Is there any rush?” You intervened and Cersei faked a sympathetic smile.

“The sooner the better.” She made a flick for you to keep your mouth shut. Your jaw tensed. “A prospect that once delighted you. The greatest honor for a queen. Joffrey has always been difficult. Even his birth, I labored one day and a half to bring him into this world. You cannon imagine the pain. I screamed so loud I was sure Robert would hear me in the Kingswood.”

“His grace was not with you?”

“Robert was hunting. Whenever my time was near, he would flee to the trees with his huntsmen and his hounds. The only time he was with me was when Y/N was born. I’ll always remember how she wrapped her little hand around his finger, she smiled at him and that was the only time in my life I saw a tear fell from his cheek. It was too emotional.”

You missed him so badly, the stories he used to tell you about Westeros, the adventures he had when he was a young Lord, the thrill in his eyes when he saw you swing the sword for the first time, he taught you all about archery, about bravery. When you were feeling low because of Joffrey and your mother he would carry you in his arms and then ride far from the city in your horses. You missed those days cause in the dark moments he was your hero.

“You never told me that before.”

“You were your father’s favorite.” Then she referred to Sansa. “Joffrey will show you no such devotion. You may never love the King but you will love his children.” She told her calmly.

“I love his grace with all my heart.” Sansa lied in her usual innocent voice.

“That’s very touching to hear. Permit me to share some womanly wisdom with you on this special day. The more people you love, the weaker you are. You’ll do things for them that you know you shouldn’t do. You’ll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children. On that front, a mother has no choice.” Was it so hard for Cersei to love you as much as she loved your siblings? To support you and be there for you?

“But shouldn’t I love Joffrey, your grace?”

“You can try, little dove. My sweet daughter here, she will be marrying some Lord very soon. I think it’s time for you to start your own family.” The blonde abruptly added. Sansa felt her stomach twist itself into an uncomfortable knot.

“That means I will have to leave you, mother.” You complained. Cersei doesn’t want to end up alone, Jaime is a prisoner, you don’t know if you’re going to see him again. But she doesn’t want you to abandon her, deep down does she care? A question you often ask yourself.

“You grew too fast. You are my oldest daughter, any man who has your heart will be very lucky. Many of them are interested in you.” Your eyes were set only on Sansa Stark, even if you couldn’t be together.

“But I’m not interested in them.” You pointed out. Was she trying to send you away just because you were willing to keep protecting Sansa at all costs, or did she really wanted to get rid of you?

You and the northerner walked out. You let go of those thoughts. Focusing on her again you broke the silence. “There’ll be a battle soon. My uncle’s army will arrive anytime. Joffrey is going to be busy. I’m always here for you, Sansa.” You reassured once more, for her to know she’s not alone.

“I feel trapped. But when you’re around... you make everything better.” Hearing that made you feel a wave of joy. She blushed and gods, your face was the color of her hair too.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” You said smiling sincerely at her. She smiled back at you.

The following days passed so very fast, now you were helping uncle Tyrion do some researching on books to find information to use for the incoming battle. The King himself apparently is occupied torturing people and animals to care for his Kingdoms. Bronn was there too, your uncle thought he’d come with some ideas for the defense of the city.

You were distracted, to say the least, your mind wandering in the redhead beauty, in how she seemed to be troubled almost all the time.

“Dear niece, I need your cleverness.” You came out of your trance.

“We are very lucky to have you as Hand of the King, uncle, otherwise we’d be doomed. And I mean it, no sarcasm. I want to join you in the field.” Tyrion wasn’t expecting to hear that statement. You knew you could be effective.

“What? Absolutely not. The last time in the riot the gods were good and you were unharmed. This is way different. I know you are brave, just like Robert was, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. Let alone the fact your mother won’t allow it.”

“I can take care of myself. Joffrey won’t last a moment there. Maybe I can coax him to fight along his men.”

“I wish you could. He won’t listen.”

“I’ll do it anyway.”

“So stubborn. My brain might explode before I find something helpful. ‘A History of the Great Sieges of Westeros.’ By Archmaester Shevelathin. Shevelatesh.”

“Ch’Vyalythan.” You corrected him.

“Are you sure?” You shrugged.

“My Princess. Lord Hand. Commander. I must compliment you on the Gold Cloak’s performance last few weeks. Did you know there has been a marked drop in thievery?” Lord Varys said entering the room.

“How did you accomplish this?”

“Me and the lads rounded up all the known thieves.” Bronn nonchalant replied.

“For questioning?”

“No. It’s just the unknown thieves we need to worry about now.”

“We’ve talked about this.”

“Have you ever been on a city under siege? Maybe this part is not in your books. See, it’s not the fighting that kills most people. It’s the starving. Food’s worth more than gold. The thieves love a siege. Soon as the gates are sealed they steal all of it. By the time it’s all over, they’re the richest men in town.”

“Yes, I believe extreme measures are warranted. Ah ‘The Great Sieges of Westeros.’ Thrilling subject, shame archmaester Ch’Vyalthan wasn’t a better writer.” Varys referred to the big book on the table.

“Uncle Stannis knows King’s Landing, he knows where we are the strongest and where we are the weakest. We need to be cautious. Take him down before he arrives at the gates.” Now you were focusing, strategy was essential.

“That’s it! The Mud Gate. A good ram will batter it down in minutes, and it’s only fifty yards from the water. That’s where he’ll land.” Tyrion affirmed certainly.

“If he does attack at the Mud Gate, what is our plan?” Varys curiously inquired. Tyrion looked at you, and then back at him.

“Wildfire.” He said.

After discussing the tactics you went to share some time with Sansa, she is one of the few people who gives you peace. Little Tommen was on his reading lessons. She was embroidering a red scarf with two lions on the top. Your heart warmed at the sight of it.

“Shae is not here?”

“I dismissed her an hour ago.” Then she stood up. “A present for you.”

“Why do I owe the pleasure?” You admired her flawless needlework.

“Because you always save me. You are always there for me. I don’t know how can I ever repay you.”

“You don’t have to, you know I do it cause I love you I’m your friend. But I appreciate the gift though. It is a very fine design.” She flushed, seeing her like this is very cute.

“You think... your brother is going to defeat Lord Stannis?”

“Brave men will fight. I have faith in them and in my uncle’s plan. I-I might... get involved.”

“Is this a bad joke?” She looked at you perplexed.

“I’m afraid is not.”

“Y/N, you could die! You are strong but still too young to go to war. And you are a princess.” Sansa winced. You squeezed gently her arm.

“I won’t die. I heard uncle Renly had in his Kingsguard a female warrior. And what about Visenya Targaryen? She was a fantastic skilled warrior as well. She fought alongside Aegon in his conquest, and in the First Dornish War. Also, she was a dragon rider, she bonded with the one called Vhagar. And had a Valyrian steel longsword named Dark Sister. I wish I had one.” You commented, utterly excited. Sansa didn’t really like the topic but her eyes lighted up every time you talked about something you were passionate about.

“You never cease to amaze me, you know so much about these things. I understand now why Arya and you got along so well.” And it’s true, you wished she was here, you missed the youngest Stark girl running around the castle. “But still, I don’t like the idea of you being out there. It’s too dangerous. You said you weren’t going anywhere.” She mumbled the last sentence.

“Trust me.” You held her hands on your own.

“Just be careful, please. Don’t leave me alone.”

“I will be. And I’ll never leave you.”

You were walking side by side with the King, Varys, and Tyrion on the eastern walls.

“If my uncle Stannis lands on the shores of King’s Landing, I’ll ride out to greet him.” Joffrey smugly spoke.

“A brave choice, your grace. I’m sure your men will line up behind you.” Tyrion subtly jeered.

“They say he never smiles. I’ll give him a red smile from ear to ear.” You rolled your eyes, knowing he wouldn’t stand a chance against him on his own. Lord Varys and your uncle began to converse with each other.

“Hey, Y/N. I heard you want to join us in the fight.” He said in a mocking way.

“You think I’m not capable?”

“Exactly. You are a woman. Not that I really care about what happens to you. You’ll die out there.”

“You have little faith in me, big brother. But still, I’m way better than you in almost everything.” You squinted your lips. “No! In absolutely everything. Don’t worry, I’ll pray for our victory.”

“I already know your whore friend has flowered. I’ll come to visit her right after I kill our uncle.” He hissed and you didn’t punch him right away right there cause you held back your fury. He was provoking you, you would get your knuckles bloody for Sansa if he goes too far.

“...They say he burns his enemies alive to honor the Lord of Light.” You joined the conversation between the two men.

“The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where is the god of tits and wine?” Tyrion wittily questioned.

“In the Summer Isles, they worship a fertility goddess with sixteen teats.” Varys responded.

“We should sail there immediately.” You smirked.

“Lord Varys, do you know anything new about the Targaryen girl?" Some nights you wonder, if your father hadn't won the Rebellion she would be here, this would be her home, she was exiled so she could survive, she was forced to marry a savage, her family is dead, the world is such a cruel place... and when you are a helpless girl it gets worse, what if things had turned out differently? And you were the one on the other side of the world, maybe that's one of the main reasons why you sympathized with her.

“This morning, I heard a song all the way from Qarth beyond the Red Waste. Daenerys Targaryen lives.”

“That’s a relief.” You said.

“A relief? She has three dragons. But even if what they say is true, it’ll be years before they are fully grown. And then there will be nowhere to hide.” Varys argued.

“She’s on the edge of the world, the least of our problems.” Uncle Tyrion tried to sound unconcerned.

“Three baby dragons? How is that possible?” They were extinct for almost three hundred years. How she managed to bring them back?

“Princess, do you consider it was wise to let her live? If you knew then what you do now... would you persuade his grace to give the order? She might be a threat soon enough, she will claim the throne-“

“Maybe she’s not interested in it. Not everyone is. Especially the rightful heirs. She did nothing wrong.”

“Yet.”

“I don’t regret my choice. I wouldn’t change it if I could.” You were confident, she’s innocent, one game at the time, you thought. Just because her ancestors were evil doesn’t mean she is evil too.

“You are so selfless, and good. Westeros might need a Queen like you.” Varys remarked.

“I’m no Queen, my Lord.” The throne belongs to you more than to Joffrey that was for sure, but how can you overthrow snakes that know your weaknesses and can use them to sting and hurt you the most?

#game of thrones fic #got #game of thrones imagine #sansa stark x reader #sansa x fem baratheon reader #baratheon reader #house baratheon

[writersplight]

THE FATHER IS A DEAD MAN

For: @elijahlittle A/N: This bitch took me so long to write. I will probably post more because I enjoy pain caused by Erwin Smith. Enjoy <3 ——— Ena’s dream for the longest time was to be a beloved mother and wife. She has been looking for a husband ever since she left home, the desire for her dream to come true burning within her. For years now, since joining the Survey Corps, it had been put on the back burner, always in the back of her mind. Unfortunately for her, she fell for the commander. Erwin Smith. A monster of a man to some, but to her—due to years of chipping away at his exterior walls in private—he had shown her some of his humanity. Deep, deep down below the veil of a commander was a human that she has risked it all for. In his own way, he has shown how fond he has grown of her, too. Like almost a month ago, when Ena entered his room to hand him some tea she made, and they shared a passionate night together. Ena never thought she'd get that far with the commander, so she cherished every moment She could have sworn he said something about loving her, but she didn’t ask. She held onto that like a lifeline. Through all the recent mornings of her getting sick and feeling nauseated, she thought: “He said he loved me, so I’m okay.” It was all worth it. With the betrayal of Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover—the Armored and Colossal titan—and now news of the titans in the wall, and the Beast Titan, Ena was instructed to stay in Wall Sina and see a doctor. She didn’t argue, because she was growing concerned about being this sick in the morning. Also the increase in appetite. In hindsight, she should have known what was happening to her. However, that didn’t stop her from pulling him off to the side, and, though his eyes were distant, and he wasn’t the Erwin she knew then, she told him to “Hurry back alive”. The doctor confirmed it, after she waited for a few hours. Half of her dream was being achieved. She was going to be a mother. Only three weeks along, she could see her life unfold. Maybe this will be the thing that grounds Erwin, and ties him to her officially. Up until now, she was content with the privacy, with the late night whispers and touches. But now. . . She awaited them to come back, a nervous smile on her face that didn’t match the others. There were always injured soldiers, and reasons why missions extended passed what she was told. That was normal. Her light blue eyes wandered for the commander, going from distressed teen face to distressed teen face. Something was off, that was more than apparent. She grabs onto Levi and Hanji’s arms, searching for something in their faces. “Where’s Erwin? I have some news I have to break.” Ena’s voice is wobbly, seeing their face grow grim. She’s sitting at a table, where some cadets and Levi join her. Armin sits farthest away, at the end of the table, head leaning down. “Ena. . .” Hanji starts, but quickly stops, looking at the ground. There’s no point in crying, is there? Not all over again, after crying before. It’s not what’s expected of them now. As the 14th commander of the Survey Corps. . . “He’s dead.” Levi finishes, getting up for tea. He gets her some. She’s filled in on the mission, the basement, the whole Armin being chosen over Erwin. She’s silent, taking it all in. Her eyes wander to Armin, who won’t even look up. Her heart squeezes, not able to imagine the pressure he must feel. Still, she listens, holding back her own news and tears. It feels wrong to be happy about it now. “So. . . Armin was chosen over Erwin?” Levi nods, slowly, bringing his cup to his lips. She nods slowly, mulling over the information. To her, though she misses him, it makes sense. She manages a small smile, turning her head. “Armin, come here.” She instructs, and he does so instantly. She takes his hands in her own when he sits in the chair to her left. “I can’t imagine the pressure you’re under. Bertholdt’s memories, the Colossal titan’s powers, feeling like you were chosen over Erwin—it’s a lot for a boy. However, you are not Erwin. You are your own

person. Do not let Levi or Hanji pressure you into filling his shoes. You’re brilliant on your own.” He looks mortified. She sighs, moving her hair off her shoulders. “You must, instead, promise me one thing.” She holds out her pink finger. “You must be the opposite of Erwin Smith, got it? You cannot lose sight of your dreams or your own humanity, okay? Can you promise me that?” Tears well in his eyes, as he locks pinkies with her. It was a difficult promise, one that he will most likely break, but Ena was already prepared for that. It was okay for Armin to break this promise, because it was only made to take the pressure off of him at this moment. “Right, thank you.” She pulls away from the burdened cadet. She sighs, looking down at her tea. It was untouched. She didn’t want any of it. She licks her lips, swallowing what little tears she had. Clearing her throat, she makes her announcement. “I’m pregnant.” And the father is a dead man.

She cries on her own time. She’s not going to be the strong soldier she built herself up to be. She’s not going to have the support of a husband. Her child isn’t going to have a child. Ena cries harder at the thought. On the left side of the room, but in a separate quarters, Levi hears her. It’s not like he was sleeping anyways. He says nothing, sitting in the loss of a friend and the mourning from another. ——— It’s a boy. Ena smiles, holding it close to her body. It was a long nine months, but so worth it. Her baby boy, so small and fragile. Her baby boy. Half of her dream is still completed. He’s alive and healthy. “What are you going to name him?” Levi asks, peering down at the small baby. He looks disgusted, but that’s just his face. “I don’t quite know. I haven’t given it much thought.” she whispers, the exhaustion kicking in. She didn’t know birth was so painful, or this long. She’s been in labor for ten hours. But, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She has her baby boy, her dream, in her hands. What was once thought of unattainable, was struggling in her clothed breasts, peacefully sleeping. “What about ‘Erwin’—junior, of course,” Hanji suggests, and the mere thought of it made her clutch her baby closer to her chest. “If they share the same name,” she slowly says, continuing to mull it over, “will they have to share the same fate? Would I have to watch my son become desensitized to deaths he caused—to my own love? Would I have to watch him throw away his life, while I’m on the sidelines?” The blonde didn’t realize she was crying until Levi held out a handkerchief. She takes it, wiping her face haphazardly. Her eyes pierce the new commander, who gulps. “That’s not—” “No one can live up to his name, his selfish selflessness. I will give him a different name, and he’ll forge his own path.” She says, with finality, and Hanji nods, going to leave. Unlike Erwin, they could not stand awkward situations they made, and refused to sit in them. “I have thought about it,” Ena whispers, stopping them, “but look at him. My beautiful baby boy is part of me, too. It’s one thing to lose a lover that was barely yours, it’s another to lose your baby boy to a name he knows nothing of. . . I don’t want to rob him of any opportunities he has to be a regular boy.” They nod, leaving. Levi sighs, sitting back. Through everything, he’s still here. For some reason. It’s as confusing as it is comforting. Soon, the cadets come, amazed by the little baby. They were polite and quiet—those who got rowdy were threatened by Levi—and she handed her baby off to be held one by one. When it got to the last person, Connie, it had to be taken from him. He was crying hysterically for some reason, and his hands were shaky and unstable. He returned later, with flowers and an apology. “You’re going to apologize for crying, but not tell me why?” Ena jokes, shifting up in her bed. She was still sore and tired, but was restless. Her baby was sleeping in a cradle next to her. “Right, uhm—” he sits down, wiping his hands on his pants. “Sorry. He just—whatever his name is—he reminded me of when my youngest brother was born. I miss my family.” “Ah. . .” was all Ena said, leaning over to put her hand over one of Connie’s. Her eyes searched for the younger cadet’s, getting all the information she needed. Now that she was a mother, she could read people slightly better. It’ll only get stronger as he grows up. “Then I think you have a dream similar to mine. For different reasons. I had a bad, distant family, so I wanted to make one who was close. For how you act, I assume you had a close family.” The buzzcut teen nods, a deep frown on his lips. “You’ll find someone. Right now isn’t the best time, you’re still young, but it’ll come.” She advised, before pointing towards her baby. “That baby boy right there, should be enough motivation. You’ve got a big heart, Connie, I don’t doubt you’ll achieve your dreams.” He nods, and says something about how late it is, that they both need their beauty sleep. Ena stops the teen

soldier before he leaves, pointing to her son again. Her smile never falters. “His name is Ezran.” ——— It’s hard raising a baby and being in the Survey Corps, but she manages it as best as she can. What makes it easier is that everyone adores Ezran. He’s a bundle of joy, with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. Just like Erwin. In fact, he looks a lot like his father. Shares most of the same features. But his eyes. . . They’re a pale, dull blue just like Ena’s. Everything else is a copy of Erwin—as Hanji has said. Internally, she has agreed with them, but she refuses to say it is allowed. Ezran shouldn’t be compared to someone he doesn’t know. He doesn’t need that invisible pressure. Though, she hasn’t withheld stories of Erwin’s. . . accomplishments. She loves him, but she’s sure not to paint him in too good a light. He was immoral at times, and made their personal relationship rocky and uncertain, but a four year old didn’t need to know that. He just needed to know his dad was a hero before he was a man, and made raids like this possible. She stayed away from the fight, with Hanji and Onyankopon. She rocked Ezran, who was dozing off. He was such a sleepy baby, despite everything. He saw his first death tonight. Two little kids hopped onto the aircraft, and the smaller one shot Sasha. The commotion spooked Ena, and she ran to check. She couldn’t cover her son’s eyes in time. He saw Sasha’s limp body and everyone crying. He cried, too, much to his mother’s surprise. She expected him to gravely look down upon the dead body as if it meant nothing. It was in these minutes that she forgot her son was not his father. He still had his humanity. She held her son as he cried over his lost friend. Ena cried for another reason. ——— It’s all over. Eren sacrificed himself, and there are no more titans. Ezran and Ena are alive. Levi is alive. Hanji is not. It’s okay. Well, no, it’s actually not okay. Eren committed a mass genocide in seconds, leaving only a handful of people alive. She could rationalize it, however, because her baby boy was still alive. Though he had no intentions of killing him off, Ena recalled begging Eren on her knees in Paths to spare his life. “I don’t—he’s going to live,” Eren says, a promise in his tone. The blonde mother erupts in a new set of tears, pulling him into a hug. She couldn’t forgive him for that distanced, god complex he developed to trick Zeke, but this was a step in the right direction. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she chants, eyes blurry from the tears. If she couldn’t have Erwin, then she wanted her son. That’s all she remembers. But when it was wall over, the first thing she felt was Erzan running towards her with tears in his pale eyes. He couldn’t have understood this. She just reassures him that he’s okay, and that it’s all over now, though her leg is missing. It was chopped off before everyone went titan mode. She was okay with it being gone. Her son was okay, that’s all that mattered. She’ll explain it later, and as many times as he needs her to. But not in this moment, where she smiles and kisses his cheeks, mentally thanking Eren for being alive. Ezran is six years old. They live with Levi. He’s mainly confined to a wheelchair, so he needs help. With the help of Armin, Connie, and Jean, Ena was made a wooden prosthetic that is strapped to her hip. Her leg hurts most days, but she does her best to stay out of a wheelchair herself. Her son is so chatty, and he reads with an aptitude that even Armin can barely keep up with. His mind is a sponge, soaking up any information he can get his hand on. “Mama! I finished ‘A Wrinkle in Time’!” he called to her, holding out his copy. She wasn’t even halfway done. They talk about it, and she lets him spoil the ending for her, not wanting to stop his excitement. He looked so happy reciting his favorite parts of the book, she didn’t have the heart to stop him. “Mama, what are we going to read next?” She taps her chin, before shrugging. “We’ll ask Armin when he visits us later. I think it’s lunch time.” He

grabs her hands, pulling her into the kitchen. Ena puts her son on the counter so he can help. He stands, when her back is turned, and he nearly falls. She manages to dive and catch him at the last minute. She sighs, glad her reflexes are still working, before she begins tickling her son. “Be more careful, bug! You could have gotten hurt!” He squeals, trying to run from her. Pushing away from her didn’t stop her, and he couldn’t run far from her. He grabbed the first thing blindly, and pulled, not seeing until the last second it was her necklace. He gasps, looking down at the locket. He stops, prying open the heart. It was a picture of an older man, who looks just like him. It was the smallest drawing he’s ever seen. “Is this. . .” “Yeah, that’s your dad. Erwin Smith.” Ena sighed. Even with Ezran around, who looks like the spitting image of him, she still misses him. Sometimes, when she goes to bed at night, she dreams of Erwin meeting his son, and how happy he would be to see Ena’s dream. Once, she dreamed they got married, with little Ezran as the ring bearer. . . She sniffed, pulling Ezran onto her lap. She held him close, like letting him go would mean losing him forever. He didn’t seem to mind today, eyes on the locket. From what he could tell, it was drawn by that Horse Guy, whatever his name was. Gene, or Janet—it was hard to pronounce for the little guy. It was nice. For a moment, he thought: If I was like him, would Mama stop crying? It was only a whisper, before he turned to her with a question. “Can we go visit his grave today, mama? I need him to hear about the books I’ve read!” She thinks it over. When was the last time they both visited? Ena goes every other Saturday, but she only brings their son on rare occasions. With a content sigh, she nods. “Okay. We’ll go after Armin visits, okay?” She stands, offering him a hand. “Now, what did you want for lunch today, Ezran?”

#erwin smith #oc: p. ena bristol #oc: ezran bristol-smith #aot #snk #fanfic writeblr #writeblr #armin arlert #connie springer #levi ackerman #my works.mp3

[the-wlw-cafe]

Limerence - A Westenray Fanfic

Rated: T

Summary: Five times Mina remained blind to the true extent of Lucy’s feelings, and one time Lucy was the one unaware.

Read it on AO3!

i.

Lucy is nine years old when she’s first told that how she feels for Mina is considered out of the ordinary.

“When I marry, I want to marry a man who’s intelligent – and kind!”, Mina happily prattles along, her voice airy with excitement, still taken by the wonder of the stories they’d read just minutes before. The legend of King Arthur, old myths of chivalry and bravery, none of those modern novels their parents fret about. It’s still more than Lucy’s governess will allow her, afraid that her young mind might get lost among the pages.

“Be sure to stay on top of your reading then, an intelligent man won’t settle for a dull girl at his side”, Mina’s governess, Mrs Sheffield, replies, not unkindly – never unkindly, Lucy thinks with a slight pang of envy. Then again, someone as bright and kind and good as Mina would not give her governess many reasons to be unkind. It makes Lucy wonder why Mina’s parents would even have a need for a governess, since their daughter is already perfect. Lucky Mrs Sheffield must be envied by all her peers, getting to spend her entire day with Mina.

“What about you, Lucy? Who do you want to marry?”, Mina asks, and Lucy can feel two pairs of eyes burrow into her. Marriage. She can barely think about it without scoffing. She can’t stand any of the boys she knows, boys like Henry, the Fairfax’ son, who likes to pull Mina’s hair and kick against her shins under the table when his parents aren’t looking. If he is what a ‘fine young gentleman’ is supposed to be, she doesn’t want any part of it. He’s rude, snotty and rough. Unlike Mina.

“I don’t think I shall marry”, Lucy says. “I just want to stay with Mina.”

Mrs Sheffield can’t quite hide the way Lucy’s reply catches her off guard. Her features twist into a frown for just a moment or two, before smoothing over again.

“Well, I remember not caring for any of the boys when I was your age, too”, the governess offers. “You’ll change your mind when you’re older. It’s simply a matter of meeting the right man.”

Lucy can barely resist the urge to stomp her feet in an entirely unladylike display of frustration. She knows she won’t change her mind, and she doesn’t care one bit for the way Mrs Sheffield talks over her!

“Don’t pay her any mind”, Mina whispers to her once the governess has turned her back to them. She takes her hand and gives it an affectionate squeeze. “We’ll always stay together, even after we marry.”

Lucy doesn’t answer, because kind as Mina is, she just doesn’t seem to understand what she means, and Lucy doesn’t know how to make her friend see reason. So instead, she uses her sleeve to wipe at the tears that have sprung from her eyes unbidden. She knows herself better than any governess will ever know her, and she knows one thing above all: Never in her life will a boy be more important to her than Mina.

ii.

Lucy is 14 years old and it is getting increasingly difficult to look at Mina. It’s something she can’t quite explain, or perhaps she doesn’t dare to entertain the notion in her mind for long enough to form a conclusion. Either way, there is a strange atmosphere between them now, at least on Lucy’s part, and she prays that Mina doesn’t perceive it as well. Things that were as natural as breathing before, things that should be as natural as breathing have suddenly taken on a new grandness. Whenever they share a bed now she can barely catch a wink of sleep, her focus consumed entirely by Mina’s warmth and every point of contact between their bodies, making her heart race and her breath stutter. Whenever Mina, sweet, unwitting Mina changes in front of her she can feel an entirely unfamiliar heat rise until it becomes too much to bear and she has to avert her eyes. Sometimes she will look at her best friend and out of the blue the brunette’s beauty will steal the breath right from her lungs. Sometimes, her eyes will catch on Mina’s lips, and she wonders what it might feel like if she were to just lean in -

Perhaps Lucy is getting ill.

She fears she might be past any chance of recovery already.

Still, she needs to nip this, whatever it is, in the bud. She has no idea how to do it, but she’s locked herself in her room. She’s been refusing meals and company, because until she’s found a way to contain this, to push it into a corner of her mind so deep it can never come up again, she can’t be trusted around Mina. What if she does something thoughtless? What if, in one lapse of control, she’d find herself acting on her most secret impulses, destroying their friendship forever, branding herself a twisted pariah?

There’s a knock on the door, without the hesitation the servants often display when they attempt to coax her into accepting a tray of rapidly cooling dinner, and gentler yet than her mother’s knock. She knows it’s her before she even has the chance to announce her presence.

“Lucy? May I come in, please?”

She’s completely aware it’s a mistake, she’s aware in her state this might very likely end in disaster, but she is also aware that she will never be able to deny her friend a single wish. She strides across the room, steadily avoiding Mina’s gaze as she lets her in, as if the simple act of meeting her eyes would set her ablaze. Lucy can’t rule out the possibility that it might.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”, Mina asks.

“I’m sorry,” is all Lucy can come up with.

“The least you could do is not avoid my question”, her friend huffs, and even now, cornered as she is, Lucy can’t help how her heart swells with affection for hard-headed, iron-willed Mina. She opens her mouth, but despite usually being so quick to come up with quips it can’t find the words to express what needs to be said.

“Are we fighting? Was it something I said?”, Mina inquires further, her voice softer now.

That Lucy can’t abide by. She can’t let Mina believe this entire wretched situation is her fault, not for a second.

“Oh, sweet Mina, no! It’s me, it’s my fault, I just – it’s just…”, she trails off, cowardly, because even though it’s the right thing to do she can’t bring herself to ruin what she still has left. Lucy can see Mina open her mouth, to question her further, probably, but she seems to think better of it. Instead, she closes the gap between them, taking Lucy in her arms, and Lucy, curse her weakness, readily lets herself melt into the embrace.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a loss for words, Lucy. Won’t you tell me what’s wrong? I worry about you.”

There was no way Lucy could hold the tears at bay now.

“I’m so, so sorry for making you worry”, she sniffles, letting herself be comforted by the familiar smell of Mina’s floral perfume. “And I can only apologize for shutting you out like this.”

“Don’t worry about all of that now. All I care about is your happiness”

“But you make me happy”, Lucy states, quietly. It is the profound truth: She’d never been so miserable in her entire life than the days she’s isolated herself, and these few minutes in her friend’s company seem to have healed her like molten gold seeping into the open cracks on her heart, filling up the empty spaces. Mina pulled back, brow furrowed, both of her hands coming up to gently cup her face, wiping away her tears with her thumbs. Lucy exhales a shuddering sigh.

“If that is true than I’m afraid you’re being very ridiculous right now”, Mina admonishes gently. “Because what you need right now is to not wallow in your own self-pity. You need a day on the town with your best friend to distract you from your murky thoughts, and maybe after you can tell me what weighs so heavily on your heart.”

It’s a wonder how Mina can’t see the adoration plainly written across her face as Lucy takes the hand that’s offered to her, already concocting a completely fabricated story about some young man breaking her heart to placate Mina’s curiosity about her disappearance.

“Nobody makes me as happy as you”, Lucy murmurs, and although the words are only meant for herself Mina picks up on them nonetheless.

“Then you can count yourself lucky that I won’t let you waste away in a sunless room, dearest Lucy. I’ll say, you really are dramatic sometimes.”

You’d understand if you knew, Lucy thinks, forgive me, but I pray you’ll never know.

iii.

She’s been confined to her bed in isolation for days now. At least she believes so, but her sense of time has been utterly shattered by drifting in and out of fevered dreams, with no way to tell the time of the day but from the light – or lack thereof – coming in through the window.

She wishes they’d just talk to her. In the beginning she was at least able to get some information from her mother when the doctor informed her of Lucy’s state in a hushed voice, like the uncertainty of what was happening to her would bring her any peace of mind. Most of the information she got was conveyed by her mother through worried glances, through the tight smiles and reassurances of “it’s nothing serious, you’re going to be up and about in no time at all” meant to bring her comfort, but only accomplished the opposite as she knew all of her mother’s tells. It was obvious Lucy was being lied to.

But it doesn’t matter now, not anymore, since the doctor has forbidden her mother from entering her room for longer than an hour a day, since he is convinced the visits cause Lucy nothing but distress. In reality, of course, nothing is more distressing than slowly watching the angry red rash of scarlet fever creep over her chest and arms in isolation.

In the initial state of Lucy’s illness, Mina did not leave her side at all, and now, after the doctor had to forcibly remove her from Lucy’s bedside more than once, she’s taken to sneaking into Lucy’s room at night. No matter how hard Lucy protests – or tries to, her throat feels too raw and tight to speak more often than not– stubborn Mina cares not for Lucy’s worries of the disease spreading to her, because apparently, the fever has made her quite contradictory: While she sends her friend away during her few hours of wakefulness, in her sleep she’s known to call out for Mina, no-one but Mina. What other secrets her feverish mind may lay bare Lucy does not dare think about, but since Mina keeps coming back to her the thing she fears most can’t have come to pass yet. How strange, she muses, that even as she is getting her throat painted with horribly painful tinctures twice a day it is this she frets over every minute of every waking hour.

She awakes to a darkened room only illuminated by the few candles that have not yet burned down, sunken into a chair by her bedside none other than Mina, sleeping. Lucy’s eyes drift downward to their hands, intertwined even in their sleep, and she can’t help but stroke the palm of Mina’s hand with her fingertips, tracing patterns over her delicate fingers, imagining herself lifting it up to her lips and kissing each one -

With a soft sigh, Mina rouses, and Lucy’s hand jerks back as if Mina’s skin had burned her. Her friend’s eyes dart around the room, disoriented, before settling on Lucy’s face. Lucy shudders inwardly as she imagines what a ghastly sight she must be, skin sickly pale with red splotches creeping up her neck, her eyes glassy from the fever. But in Mina’s gaze there’s no pity, only affection, and it alone makes Lucy want to cry.

“Lucy”, Mina breathes, her voice still thick with sleep. Despite her aching limbs Lucy lifts a hand and pushes against her friend’s thigh, weak but insistent. Keep your distance, she tries to convey. I couldn’t bear it if you were to get ill as well.

It’s a testament to their bond that Mina understands her without issue, even though all she has to say on the matter is “I won’t leave you alone, Lucy, so don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

A hand comes to touch her forehead, and despite the fever Lucy can feel additional heat rise to her cheeks. Worry is clearly etched into Mina’s face.

“First and foremost, we need to keep your temperature down.”

Mina’s voice, calm and firm, brings her more comfort than her mother’s hushed reassurances ever have. There is a bucket of rags soaking in freezing water next to her bed, she hears it sloshing and closes her eyes, bracing herself for the icy touch.

“This is going to feel very cold”, Mina whispers, and the warning is more than the doctor has ever afforded her. In fact, it’s very likely that they’ve exchanged more words in the last minutes than the doctor ever has deigned to waste on her over the entire course of her illness. In fact, she’s not sure the doctor even knows her name – to him she might be called scarletina since he seems to regard her as nothing but her disease. Lucy gasps at the first touch of the icy rags to her heated skin as Mina carefully places them on her forehead with steady hands. Mina is knowledgeable about these things, she’s knowledgeable about a lot of things a young lady like her has no business being aware of. Her childhood passion for reading has only grown stronger the older they got, they’d soon turned to reading penny dreadfuls in secret, huddled together in bed way after nightfall, both of them trying to keep a brave face and yet almost jumping out of their skin at every benign noise of the mansion at night. Now she’s taken to sneaking into her father’s study, reading every medical journal she can get her hands on. She’d make a fine doctor, Lucy muses. Certainly better than the odious man in whose care she is now, although that might not be saying much.

Despite the burning sensation the cold rags inflict on her she feels her eyelids grow heavy and her mind grow sluggish with exhaustion.

“Mina”, she manages to croak.

“Shhh”, Mina admonishes, one wet hand cupping her cheek. “Don’t exert yourself too much.”

“Stay.”

It’s utterly selfish, but Lucy has proven to be nothing but a selfish creature. She craves the comfort Mina’s presence provides like she craves her next breath.

Lucy eyes have already closed, but she can still hear the smile curl around her best friend’s voice when she mutters: “I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.”

Always. I want you always, Lucy thinks, or maybe speaks. Everything hurts and the difference doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

“Then I’m afraid you’re stuck with me”, are the last words she hears before sleep pulls her under again.

iv.

Lucy would never have thought it possible to be so infatuated with a person that even their handwriting would seem endearing, but nonetheless she finds herself mindlessly skimming through Mina’s scientific notes, tracing the energetic curve of her gs, the elegant bow of her fs, and smiles at all the places the aspiring doctor has smudged the ink in her haste to capture every single ounce of knowledge on the page. It almost feels like she’s reading something private, like she’s intruded on her friend’s journal, but she can’t bring herself to stop. At least it distracts her from her worry.

Mina should have arrived from her studies half an hour ago. Lucy’s let herself into Mina’s room to escape the dreadful weather outside as if it were her own home. Considering the amount of time she spends there, it might as well be. Lucy glances at the clock. It hasn’t been a long time, even though it feels like hours, but Lucy can’t help the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that something might be wrong, that something is holding her up, that something has happened. With a huff, she closes the notebook. Maybe she’s just gotten used to being Mina’s first priority. Is this what she’s come to? Resenting Mina for chasing her dreams, dreams that she might have thought unattainable if it weren’t Mina who was pursuing them? She remembers the pride she felt when Mina told her through tears of joy that she’d been accepted into the medical society, as if her friend’s accomplishments were her own. No, she could never begrudge sweet Mina her ambition, as her drive is one of the most captivating things about her.

She hears footsteps rapidly approaching, a quick, decisive snap of heels that she’s come to associate with no-one but Mina. The door bursts open, and the smile that has snuck it’s way upon Lucy’s lips as it always does in Mina’s blessed presence drips from her face like the rain pelting against the windows as she sees the expression on her dear friend’s face. Jaw locked and eyes facing forward, fists clenched so tight her knuckles are whitening, she wears the expression of someone desperately trying to hold back tears of anger.

“Oh, Mina”, Lucy gasps, rushing to meet her friend, “what happened?”

“What happened?”, Mina hisses, smashing her books down on her bedside table. “I’m tired of being held to an entirely different standard than my peers and being made a fool of should I slip up even once!”

Of course. Men, Lucy thinks, they never miss an opportunity to prove my distaste for them right.

“One mistake!”, Mina rages. “One mistake, and it is grounds for having my suitability for this field of studies called into question! Explain it to me, Lucy, how a man can skip lectures to go gallivanting around town, reeking of liquor when he does deign to show himself only to fall asleep in his seat minutes later, and yet it is I to whom the professor recommends to re-evaluate their goals?” There’s fire in her eyes, and fervour in her voice, and Lucy feels equal parts pity for the men that dare challenge her not knowing the storm that they’ll reap, and equal parts a shameful longing to bear the brunt of her ardour, to be swept up completely by her force. The notion makes the blood rise to her cheeks and she knows she will guiltily revisit it later, alone in her bedchambers. For now, she pushes it aside, focusing on the Mina that is in front of her right now, in need of her support, not the fictitious version that inhabits her inverted fantasies.

“It’s because they are afraid of you. They are afraid of your intellect, your skill, your potential, and they’d rather wear you down and force you to give up on your dreams because they know you’re smarter than the lot of them combined. You threaten them, Mina, you threaten their entire view of the world with them at the top, undisputed. They see your excellence, and it terrifies them.”

Lucy is a bit breathless when she finishes, and she averts her eyes, suddenly embarrassed by her outburst and the palpability of her awe. Still, she won’t take it back, not a single word, because it is nothing but the truth and she needs Mina to know it.

Mina swallows, eyes burning with fierce determination. “I scare them? Good. I shall prove them right.”

And suddenly, Lucy feels quite dizzy. The silence between them stretches on, and, in an effort to fill it, Lucy blurts out the first thing that comes to mind:

“Before you do that, I do believe you’ve earned a little petty revenge. Remember that time I slipped ink into Henry Fairfax’ tea?”

Mina stares at her for a few moments, incredulous, before the tension breaks and she lets out the most endearing snort of laughter. To Lucy, no music could ever reach perfection such as this, and she’ll gladly make herself a jester if her reward shall be to hear this beautiful sound one more time.

“I mean it, I believe it improved his manners greatly.”

“Because he was too ashamed of his black teeth to speak!”

“From what I’ve learned, most men would be twice as amiable if they’d just keep their mouths shut.”

“Tempting”, Mina giggles, “but we’re not children anymore.”

Lucy pretends to sigh in disappointment. “You’re right, of course. It’s time we moved on from child’s play such as this. After all, as a soon-to-be doctor you of all people should know where to procure laxatives.”

“Lucy!”, Mina exclaims, playfully pushing her with just a little too much vigour, causing Lucy to stumble backwards, reaching out towards Mina as not to fall but only succeeding in knocking her off balance as well. For a few frantic moments they stay clutching at each other, swaying wildly like a pine at the mercy of a savage storm, before they find their footing again. Lucy closes her eyes, savouring each fleeting second before Mina will inevitably disentangle herself with a nervous giggle, shattering the strange intimacy of the moment. Yet her friend makes no move to do so. On the contrary, Lucy is startled to feel the weight of Mina gently resting her forehead on her shoulder. She can’t think straight. Her senses are awash with Mina’s warmth, the enticing scent of her perfume, the soothing rhythm of her breathing...she’s close enough for Lucy to feel each exhale warm against the skin of her neck. Is Mina aware how fast her heart is beating? She must be. It’s racing in Lucy’s ears like a pounding war drum. Lucy clenches her hands into fists until she can feel her fingernails painfully digging into her palms to distract herself, to keep herself from doing something as foolish as pressing her lips to Mina’s hair.

“Oh, darling Lucy, I do love you.” She’s so caught up in Mina’s bittersweet closeness that even after she feels her sweet friend’s lips form the words against her neck it takes a few moments for their meaning to sink in, and they bring with them a particularly painful ache. Not as I love you. The words are clear in Lucy’s mind, making her throat tighten and hot tears rise to her eyes.

“Sometimes it really does feel like you’re the only one in my corner as I’m opposing the rest of the world.”

Lucy doesn’t answer, can’t answer, for she fears her voice won’t obey her if she tries. So she settles on holding Mina a bit tighter, extending their embrace just a few moments longer, as to hide the tears are now flowing freely.

v.

“I barely get to see you anymore.”

Mina’s right, of course. And it isn’t entirely owed to Mina’s medical studies, as much as Lucy would like to pretend it is the case. The truth is this: Lucy has been avoiding her. For her own sake, for her own sanity’s sake, because whenever they’re together now, he finds a way to insert himself into the situation, and the heartache is eating Lucy alive. So she’s been distancing herself, as a way of self-preservation. Best to get used to it now, she reckons, before the wedding, and the children that will follow, and the rift between them that will only grow further and further until Mina will realize that there is no more space for somebody like Lucy in her life.

“I’m sure Jonathan isn’t complaining.”

It’s a low blow and she regrets it as soon as it’s passed her lips. Not for fear of hurting Jonathan’s feelings, of course, but because now his presence is looming over them like a spectre even when he isn’t present. It’s the first sleepover Mina and her have had in weeks, a regular activity among them turned to a once-in-a-blue-moon occasion, and still she’s given him the power to worm his way into it. They’re lying right next to each other, close enough to touch, but there’s still a distance between them that was never there when they were younger. Now, they might as well be continents apart.

“Honestly, Lucy”, Mina hisses, propping herself up on her elbow and turning over to face her. “Must you paint Jonathan’s name black whenever you talk about him? What on earth could he have done to deserve such treatment from you?”

“What has he done? I find myself asking the same thing every hour of every day. What has he ever done for you, besides offering you support in name only, secretly hoping to make a docile housewife out of you yet?”

“You don’t know him like I do!”, Mina shouts, and it’s another thing that’s new between them, the shouting. They’d had fights before, of course, Lucy is convinced that two headstrong and intelligent individuals such as them can’t spend this much time in close proximity without quarrelling every so often, but their fights have become more frequent and more vicious.

“For all this time you’ve been seeing each other, I cannot think of one moment he took a stand for you!”

Not like I do, she catches herself thinking, and shudders immediately. How bitter she’s become. She can see Mina scrambling to come up with a response, but Lucy is too enraged to give her a quarter.

“Pray tell, Mina, what is one thing you admire about him? Hell, tell me one thing you like about Jonathan!”

Lucy slowly watches the anger in her friend’s eyes fade as the fight seems to leave her body and she turns away from her again, her gaze now fixed to an invisible point on the ceiling.

“He’s amiable”, Mina offers weakly.

“Oh, is that what they call a wet blanket nowadays?”, Lucy can’t help but scoff.

“He loves me”, Mina says, even quieter.

So do I, Lucy wants to say, Lucy yearns to say, but of course she can’t. She mustn’t. There are so many words inside her, emotions she’s repressed for so long, and she can feel them bubbling up, only a hair’s breadth away from spilling to the surface and ruining everything.

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

Nobody does, she wants to add, but her heart, her treacherous, foolish heart instead possesses her to say: “No man does.”

In a blink of an eye, the room is doused in an eerie quiet, as the weight of what she has just said settles in. Mina’s head whips around so fast Lucy might have feared for the muscles in her neck if she wasn’t frozen to the spot, panic gripping her insides with an icy grasp as Mina silently regards her with an expression usually reserved for the most difficult of riddles, like she’s a particularly challenging problem to solve. Lucy desperately tries to find a way to backtrack, to claim it was nothing but a silly joke, but the words die in her throat as with one fluid movement Mina leans in and -

Lucy closes her eyes, a soft gasp escaping her. This isn’t happening, this can’t be happening, there’s no way Mina is about to kiss her, and yet Lucy prepares herself for the gentle touch of soft lips on hers.

She’s proven right when Mina instead presses a kiss to her forehead.

Right. Of course.

Lucy would have laughed at herself and her inability to learn if she didn’t feel like crying. Of course Mina wouldn’t want to kiss her, why can’t she just accept it? Why must she torture herself with foolish hope?

The contact lasts for one second, maybe two, before Mina pulls back, completely wordless. Lucy, too, is stunned silent, even more so when her friend blows out the candle on the bedside table before burrowing into her side as if they were children again, sighing softly as she rested her head on Lucy’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Me neither”, Lucy croaks, leaning her cheek against soft brown hair.

She doesn’t sleep a wink that night.

vi.

She’s still holding onto the note as she enters the garden. She’s clutching onto it, balling it up and rendering it illegible. Not that it matters, she’s read and re-read it so many times by now she knows the words by heart. It’s not a great feat by any means, since the entire page is taken up by only two sentences, penned with a shaking hand in great haste:

Meet me in the gardens, urgently. Come alone.

- Mina

Lucy doesn’t want to come. She doesn’t think she can face Mina. But she also can’t stand waiting on her lonesome.

Lucy isn’t stupid, she knows the reason for Mina summoning her to meet her by herself. She’s noticed how they haven’t exchanged more than a few words ever since that night. She knows she’s pulled back the veil too far, she’s shown too much of herself and now this is the end of them. She can’t blame Mina, but it doesn’t stop her from wishing she could delay the inevitable for just one more day.

No man does, she’d said. The only way she could have been any more transparent would be to have physically thrown herself at Mina. She’s nothing but a lovesick, foolish girl, and she’s ruined everything she’s ever had because of one moment of weakness. And now, the moment to reap what she’s sown has come.

She’s so lost in thought she almost runs into Mina quite literally, who’s been rushing to meet her. Lucy takes one look at her friend and regrets it instantly: Her (former?) friend’s eyes are red-rimmed, like she’s been crying, and Lucy can feel the guilt that has been coiling in her stomach since she’s first read Mina’s note screws itself even tighter.

“Lucy”, Mina breathes, eyes wide, her fists clenching and unclenching with nervous energy she can’t seem to hold back. She doesn’t even wait for Lucy to respond to her greeting before words spring forth from her like a rushing waterfall: “I’ve been thinking about everything you told me.”

Whatever tentative flicker of hope Lucy might have had is mercilessly and wholly extinguished.

“Mina, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am -”

Mina holds up a hand and she instantly falls silent.

“Please, Lucy, let me finish. I need to get this of my chest, and I fear that if I stop now I’ll lose the courage to go on.”

Lucy nods, numbly.

“Thank you”, Mina says with a fleeting smile, before visibly steeling herself.

“I broke off my engagement to Jonathan.” The words come out in one desperate rush, and she sighs, deeply, as if a physical weight has been lifted off of her.

Lucy is sure she must have misheard. “You did what?”

Mina doesn’t acknowledge Lucy’s outcry.

“I’ve thought about everything you’ve told me, and you’re right. And I knew I couldn’t carry on like this, I knew it wouldn’t be fair, neither to me nor to Jonathan.”

This is happing. It’s indeed happening and Lucy can’t help the overwhelming elation she feels. She ought to feel sorry for Jonathan instead, or worried for Mina, but in this moment she’s wholly taken by glee. Mina is free of him, they’re both free of him. Somewhere in the back of her head an ugly voice tells her that this doesn’t mean anything, that at the end of the day Mina will always remain unattainable and she will suffer through heartbreak after heartbreak, but this one time the voice is easy to drown out.

“I knew I couldn’t carry on”, Mina repeats, her voice softer now and filled with a kind of tenderness Lucy can’t begin to fathom. Mina takes Lucy’s hands in hers – she carelessly drops the balled up note on the ground – and holds them close to her chest. Her eyes are swimming in tears once more, but her smile is all the brighter.

“Not when my heart is completely consumed by love for another.”

In one sentence Mina has broken her. It’s as if the rug has been pulled from under her feet, leaving her to stumble backwards into darkness. Why does it even surprise her? Why does the notion of Mina, sweet, intelligent, wonderful, beautiful, incredible Mina being loved and desired catch her off guard?

“Do I know the lucky gentleman?”, Lucy asks with a smile that she’s sure doesn’t reach her eyes. She can feel hot tears building up behind her eyes and knows that she won’t be able to uphold this facade for long.

“Do you know- Lucy, you say the silliest things sometimes!”, Mina giggles, too wrapped up in her own love drunk joy to notice Lucy’s pain. It’s too much altogether, and Lucy wrenches her hands from Mina’s grip.

“I hope he makes you happy”, she manages to say before turning away sharply, fleeing this conversation to preserve whatever she has left of her dignity.

“Lucy, wait!”, Mina calls after her, but she pretends not to hear it. She doesn’t slow down, not even when she can hear energetic footsteps following closely behind her on the gravel path. Then, a hand grabs her wrist in a tight grip.

“Mina, let me go-”, she hisses, but she doesn’t get any further than that as she is interrupted by the insistent press of Mina’s lips on hers.

She doesn’t react, can’t react as her entire world shifts on its axis, and she’s still in a daze when Mina pulls back, an indeterminate amount of time later.

“Y-you’re mocking me.”, Lucy croaks. It’s the only possibility that makes sense. Mina knows, she’s found out and she’s chosen to tease her for her inverted, ill-fated, desperate love for her best friend.

“Oh, sweet Lucy”, Mina breathes, looking altogether stricken by the accusation. “Do you really think me so cruel?”

“I don’t know what to think!”, Lucy cries. She’s lost, everything she thought to be true proven false and vice versa, and she doesn’t know if she can trust her senses. She’s half convinced she’ll wake up in her bed any second now, alone, chasing the last remnants of another pleasurable dream.

“Then don’t think at all”, Mina murmurs, her hands tracing a feather-light path over Lucy’s arms, shoulders, and neck, before settling in Lucy’s hair, pulling her closer, slowly, giving Lucy ample time to turn away if she needed to.

She doesn’t, she just closes her eyes and lets herself be pulled in. Their lips meet again, softer this time, and the sensation still comes as a shock to Lucy. She gasps against Mina’s lips, and the breathy sound seems to spur her on even further, she starts moving against her with more urgency. It’s too much for Lucy’s fragile self-control, she can’t hold back anymore, and with a noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper she kisses back with equal ardour, arms looping around Mina’s back and clenching in the fabric of her dress, hands pulling closer, closer, impossibly closer.

Lucy can’t say how much time has elapsed when they finally break apart, breathless, resting their foreheads against each other. Lucy doesn’t dare let go, thinks she might never be able to out of fear the second she does Mina might drift away.

“Lucy”, Mina sighs. “Darling Lucy, I’m so sorry for how blind I was for all this time. You must think me so self-absorbed, to not notice your affections for me, and to string you along the way I did, Lucy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think…”

Lucy gently brushes a strand of dark hair that must have come loose while they were kissing behind Mina’s ear. Her cheeks already hurt from smiling, she can’t remember a time she’s ever been as content as this.

“Then don’t think at all”, she parrots Mina’s earlier quip with a low chuckle, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“I believe we’ve both been blind", Lucy whispers, before pulling Mina into a kiss once more.

#westenray #nbc dracula #lucy westenra #mina murray #wlw fanfiction #please reblog if u liked it you have no idea how long i worked on this #also the research rabbit hole i went down while writing this is UNREAL

[heronwritingx]

chapter 5

woooow I said this would be out last week and it wasn’t. I got seriously busy. I finished my degree and had my final suitability interview, don’t know how I went yet. I also get my teaching number and well, I'm officially a teacher, I guess. here is chapter 5. its long. its my longest chapter. I hope you enjoy it. 

Heather sat at her lunch table with Lindsay beside her and Tyler with Lindsay, as well as some of the other boys from Tyler’s lacrosse team. Heather had known about the party they were discussing for some time, she was obviously going but as they spoke, she had an idea. Courtney was easily one of the most boring people Heather knew, she would NEVER go to a party – Duncan could easily confirm that for her. However, Heather knew if Courtney wanted to get more votes on her side, she needed to go to this party. Courtney needed to look cool, she needed to win over the people that initially were voting for Heather. Even with Heather on her side, many were still sceptical of Courtney and Heather wanted to bring an end to that.

“Anyone can come, right?” Heather spoke up, not looking up from her phone.

“Well, duh, the more people the more fun it’s going to be.” Tyler replied, a big grin on his lips.

“Oo, are you bringing a date?” Lindsay asked, raising her eyebrows in excitement.

“Don’t even try to bring Court, sweet cheeks,” Duncan interjected from the end of the table – Heather liked the pretend he wasn’t there, “She never came for me, what makes you think she will for you?”

“Maybe because I didn’t cheat on her with that loser goth girl.” Heather retorted back, rolling her eyes.

Duncan grumbled a response, but Heather ignored it, she wasn’t going to get into an argument with Duncan of all people. She met up with Courtney after school after cheer practice, the girl packing away the debate room on her own.  Heather folded her arms and leaned against the door frame.

Courtney knew what the girl wanted. She had heard about the party all week. She didn’t want to go; she didn’t go to parties. She found no fun in them. A bunch of teenagers drunk sounded like a recipe for disaster.

“I don’t go to parties.” Courtney said, not looking at her, “Even you know that.”

“Not even if it helps increase your chances of winning?” Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that really how you’re going to spin this?” Courtney huffed and looked up at her, narrowing her eyes.

“Courtney, you’re not cool. Like, at all. If you come to this party, people won’t think that and they might just vote for you,” Heather stepped in the room, “Noah wouldn’t ever lower himself to go to a party and those people that don’t like him know that. God, knowing him he’ll like try to ban them or whatever.”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know what to do at a party.” Courtney frowned.

“You don’t even have to drink; you just have to go. I’ll even go with you, so you’ve got a mentor.” Heather said.

Courtney grimaced and Heather just batted her eyes at her, the girl wasn’t going to give up until Courtney went along with her. Courtney knew that. Heather was determined to win, and Courtney knew she was right deep, DEEP down. Courtney wasn’t “popular” like Heather, her “overwhelming” personality caused her to struggle to make friends sometimes.

“Fine, I’ll go with you, but I refuse to drink.” Courtney huffed, her eyes rolling from Heather’s triumphant grin.

“That’s fine with me.” Heather replied, absolutely giddy that she’d convinced Courtney to go with her.

Not only had Heather managed to convince Courtney to go, but she managed to do something Duncan couldn’t! She couldn’t WAIT to rub it in his face. It was known that Duncan had regrets cheating on Courtney, yet the girl refused to even acknowledge their relationship or him in general. She hated Duncan and it was something Heather didn’t often bring her – even she wasn’t willing to set Courtney off with that.

“I’ll come over at six and help you get ready, and you better not cancel. I know where you live.” Heather told her.

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t cancel.” Courtney grumbled.

Heather just smiled and Courtney wasn’t impressed but nevertheless, she obliged. Saturday rolled around and Heather once again found herself in Courtney’s room, her eyes scrolling through her phone as she waited for Courtney to get ready. Heather did offer to help but she thought Courtney would have at least begun to get ready by the time she was there! The girl was standing in her closet still deciding and Heather was already tired of her.

She stepped out in what Heather could only describe as “boring meeting chic” and that was being kind. Courtney always dressed like she was about to lead the debate team and read out a speech and she bored Heather to death. She stood up and scoffed, and

“Are you for real?” Heather snapped, pushing her back towards the closet.

“I don’t know what else to wear, I feel comfortable in this!” Courtney retorted in defence.

“We’re going to a party, Court, we want people to think you’re not a total loser!” Heather said, groaning, “I’ll pick something.”

Courtney huffed but didn’t stop her, Heather flicking through Courtney’s clothes in her closet. Heather made a few disgusted faces and even pretended to gag at some others, it was all very Heather. She then stopped and pulled out a green dress, something Heather never ever thought Courtney would own.

“This, this is perfect.” Heather said, pushing the dress to Courtney’s chest, “Now put it on.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never worn anything like this before.” Courtney frowned, “Besides, it’s not even mine.”

“Trust me, just put the dress on.” Heather waved her off and sat back down, her eyes returning to her phone.

Courtney frowned and walked back into her closet and slipped into the green dress Heather picked out. She didn’t know what to think or feel, she just stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. It reminded her of her older sister, the dress was hers, after all. Courtney sighed and grabbed a pair of nude heels – she knew Heather wasn’t going to let her go in flats, after all. She strapped them on and fixed her hair, which she curled slightly and applied another layer of gloss to her lips.

Heather gulped as Courtney walked out, her eyes widening and her body stiffening up. Courtney looked unhappy but Heather couldn’t get over how she looked. The dress was perfect. It hugged her perfectly. She chose to pair it with a small jacket, and it looked even better. In heels, Courtney would reach just up to Heather’s face and it made her heart race thinking of Courtney so close to her. Her hands became clammy and she didn’t know what to do, these reactions were getting out of hand. Heather almost had to slap her cheeks to snap herself out of the daze the girl left her in.

“What do you think?” Courtney asked.

“it’s…fine.” Heather muttered.

Heather knew it was coming and she was dreading it. She had come to understand these strange feelings even if she didn’t like it. She knew damn well what it meant when her heart would race, and sometimes stop, when Courtney smiled at her or did something remotely cute. She didn’t want to believe it and Heather was going to push those feelings away at any cost. She couldn’t…she wouldn’t allow herself to like Courtney like that.

“Let’s just go.” Heather grumbled, pushing herself up.

Heather’s initial plan was to get people to believe Courtney was cool and she was going to stick to that, but she also had another plan. She was going to get herself into a drunken stupor to forget these horrid feelings that were plaguing her. She would find herself some cute guy and he would help her forget Courtney. He had too. She had to forget these feelings. She begrudgingly took Courtney’s hand and led her into Tyler’s house, Heather could tell the girl was nervous.

“Finally, you took so long!” Lindsay whined as she ran up to Heather, shots in hand.

“This one took forever.” Heather rolled her eyes, taking the drink from Lindsay.

“’This one has a name, thank you.” Courtney snapped at her.

Heather wanted to roll her eyes again at Courtney but instead, she downed the shot she held in her hand in one go. Heather’s body shivered but she felt more relaxed, the beer wasn’t the greatest tasting thing she’d had but it sure did take the edge off.

“I’m so happy you came!” Lindsay turned her attention to Courtney and pushed the drink toward her as well.

“Thank you but I’m not drinking.” Courtney let out an awkward laugh and Heather groaned, taking the drink from Lindsay.

“Oh, okay. That’s a bit boring.” Lindsay said quite bluntly, making Heather snicker.

Lindsay wasn’t wrong, after all, Heather could drag Courtney to all the parties she wanted too but she knew damn well the girl wouldn’t drink – she’d never “lower” herself like that. Heather proceeded to finish off Courtney’s drink as she, Lindsay and Courtney found Tyler, he was in the kitchen on the counter chanting something with a few other guys in their grade – including the one Heather wanted to see most (and least). Her shit eating grin couldn’t be missed. Heather had gotten Courtney to come to a party – something Duncan could NEVER accomplish in the months they dated, and his eyes should it. He glared at her for a moment, just a moment, before a smirk formed on his lips and his legs began to move. Heather didn’t know what to do, should she jump on the offence or defence?

“Princess!”

“Get your slimy ass away from me.” Courtney’s hand almost hit his face as she shoved it out to stop him, but Duncan was clearly used to her antics and he dodged it.

Heather wanted to snort but she kept by Courtney’s side, though she spoke to Lindsay and acted like she had wasn’t completely eavesdropping. 

“Never thought you’d show your face at a party.” Duncan sounded less “happy” now and his true feelings were coming to the surface, “Always thought you were above it.”

“I just never wanted to go with you.” Courtney rolled her eyes.

Heather glanced down and noticed Courtney’s hands shaking at her side and behind her back, and it caused a sting in her heart. Courtney’s nails were digging into her skin and Heather knew. Courtney hadn’t forgotten about Duncan. Courtney wasn’t over Duncan.

“Oh, come on, Court, let the harshness go. You know you and I were good together.” Duncan’s voice slurred a little and Heather knew he’d been drinking for longer than he was letting on, his arm trying to snake around Courtney.

It wasn’t surprising. Heather had considered this happening. Duncan had made comments about “winning Court back” for some time – she just paid him no mind.

“Obviously not as a good as you and that goth freak.” Courtney spat back, as sharp as ever and unwilling to break, even if her hands were giving her away.

She smacked his arm away, and the punk was lucky she didn’t grab it and twist it. 

“I’m here to have fun, not deal with you, Duncan,” she said his name so spitefully, she wanted to hate him so badly, “So leave me the hell alone.”

She dropped her foot down hard on his own and he let out a small yelp, Duncan hopping back and spitting out obscenities at her. Courtney’s hands felt a little less shaky and she grinned triumphantly for a moment before returning to her more threatening gaze. Duncan wouldn’t ruin her night.

“Next time, it won’t be your foot.” Courtney threatened.

She grabbed Heather’s hand and began to pull her away but not before Heather managed to score her fourth drink off of the counter. Courtney pulled her into an empty room – Heather recognised it as Tyler’s room – and she shut the door behind them.  Courtney took in a deep breath and the sigh that left her lips made that sting in Heather’s heart a little sharper.

“Why’s that asshat got to be here?” Courtney muttered just loud enough for Heather to hear.

“It’s a party, obviously he’s here.” Heather rolled her eyes.

Heather’s nails dug into her palms and she tried her hardest to quash the anger that was building up inside of her. She hated that it made her angry, she hated that her heart stung. She hated what it meant. She could only fight and ignore the truth for so long, after all. She felt something boiling inside her and for just that moment, she was perfectly fine with pushing Courtney away if it meant she didn’t have to deal with these strange feelings anymore. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the fact she was upset over Duncan, but Heather wasn’t going to hold back.

“I’m not going to sit here and babysit you if you’re going to cry over Duncan.” Heather’s voice had a cruelty to it that shocked Courtney, Heather hadn’t spoken to her like that in a while, after all.

“I’m not—”

“Duncan’s a loser, and you’re an even bigger loser if you still like a guy that cheated on you.” Heather cut her off and Courtney’s eyes widened, “Cry all you want in here, but I don’t care. I’m going to have fun with my friends, not stand in a room and listen to you cry all night.”

“Heather!” Courtney scoffed, but before she could even THINK of a rebuttal, Heather stormed out of the room.

Heather stomped into the kitchen and grabbed the closest shot, downing it in one go and then downing another, and then another. Her goal was to get so stupidly drunk she forgot about the sting, she forgot about her anger. She wanted to forget Duncan and she especially wanted to forget Courtney. She reached for another drink when a hand touched hers and Heather turned her head, her eyes daggers as she mustered up every ounce of cruelty and hatred she had inside her to glare at the person who dared to stop her.

“What?” She seethed out, her eyes flashing red as if she had a demon inside her.

Her rage stopped as she got a good look at the person – the young man, who stopped her hand, however. She had never seen him before and she won’t lie, he was handsome. He had fair skin and a rather gentle smile, and maybe it was the alcohol travelling through her system, but even she thought he was cute. He had brown hair that curled at the ends and maybe it was because her vision was blurring, but his eyes reminded her of the ocean.

“Looks like you’re in need of a drink,” he laughed a little and Heather felt herself blush from embarrassment, “but you probably don’t want to be sick an hour in.”

“Tell people not to be stupid then!” Heather snapped back childishly, stepping away and suddenly stumbling backwards.

The alcohol hit her harder than she thought. She felt dizzy and her face wasn’t red from embarrassment anymore, she was pink from alcohol. She huffed as he placed his hand on her back and quickly helped her to a stable standing position before letting go.

“Who are you?” Heather asked, huffing as she led her to a couch to sit down.

“You don’t know? We’re in the same Chemistry class, Heather.” He replied.

“You think I bother to remember every person’s name I’m in a class with?” Heather scoffed.

“It’s Wes.” he told her, taking a swig of his drink.

“Wait, you’re on the football team with Tyler!” Heather clicked her fingers, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Ah, so you do know me.” He laughed once more and Heather pouted her lips, thinking his was cute once more.

She sat there for a moment, her mind wandering back to Courtney and that sting in her heart returned. She clenched her fists and let out a loud whine, taking Wes by surprise and he leaned away from her for a moment. Heather wanted to forget about Courtney.

Heather had to forget about Courtney.

“I want another drink!” She announced, forcing herself up onto her feet, “You come with me!”

Wes was quick to his feet to make sure she didn’t fall back – which she almost did. He wasn’t about to stop her or disagree with her, so he followed her into the kitchen.

Courtney just stared at the door for a moment. In reality, she knew Heather was right – she wouldn’t admit it, but she knew. It was ridiculous that Courtney was still kind of torn up about Duncan. He cheated on her. She hated him. She had every damn right to hate him! Courtney huffed and folded her arms, now she was stuck at a stupid party she didn’t even want to be at and the one person she didn’t mind now wanted nothing to do with her. She shoved the door open and walked back into the actual party, wanting to find Heather. She didn’t want to be at the party if she wasn’t with her, and she didn’t feel comfortable or want to talk to anyone else there. She took a deep breath and headed into the crowd of people, knowing that Heather would likely be in the kitchen where the alcohol was.

Courtney huffed in anger when she reached the kitchen because of course Heather wasn’t there! Heather could’ve left for all Courtney actually knew and Heather was too mad at her to let her know! Courtney, for the first time in her life, wanted a drink. Heather of all people had led her to actually wanting alcohol. She found the keg and grabbed a cup of beer and did what Heather had done – downed it as fast as she could.

Courtney gagged and spat, wanting the taste of her mouth. It was horrid! And people actually liked the taste.! People actually wanted to drink that crap!? She groaned and tried to see if she could see Heather in the crowd of people, and she did manage to spot Lindsay and that was something. She pushed through the crowd but was disappointed to find Lindsay with only Tyler, dancing to music and their faces smashed together. She wasn’t going to get in between that no matter how desperate she was.

It took Courtney hours. Heather was nowhere to be seen. It was like she was purposely hiding for her! She huffed and pushed the door to the Tyler’s back garden open, stepping out into the colder air and the noise inside quietening down for her. The party had been an absolute waste of her time, sure a few people had noticed her and all, but was it really going to help her reputation? Wasn’t she there to seem cool?

“This is ridiculous,” Courtney muttered, “this was never going to work.”

She wrapped her arms around her body as shivers went through her, and she tried her best to keep herself as warm as she could. She didn’t want to go back inside, she just wanted to leave but Heather was her responsibility. She took another deep breath and rallied all her strength together to enter the party once more, completely determined to find Heather and go the hell home. Tyler’s house was so much bigger than expected, no wonder he had a chance at every sports team, his parents probably paid the coaches.

The party had, in retrospect, died down a little – some had gone home, others had passed out, so finding Heather wouldn’t be as huge a task now. She entered Tyler’s living room, where the music had lulled, and she could hear the drunken slurs and chatter. Courtney’s fingers curled up into fists as she finally, FINALLY found her. Heather was in the corner of the room with some guy Courtney didn’t know, pressed against a wall as she locked lips with him. Courtney was pissed. Courtney was beyond furious! Heather LEFT HER to make out with some RANDOM? FOR HOURS? Courtney wanted to scream!

It was just drunken kisses; Heather had no feelings for the guy. She was certain she couldn’t even remember his name. It was working though. Her mind was clear, and her heart no longer ached, she didn’t think of she who would not be named and she, for the first time in weeks, Heather felt like was able to relax without any confusing feelings creeping up on her. She was wary of his hands and he hadn’t mentioned anything about taking in any further.  

“Heather!”

Her body froze and every damn thought she’d been pushing down resurfaced. She grimaced and her hands dropped from the boy’s body as she crossed her arms. He stepped out of the way and Heather’s face screwed up in anger and disgust – it matched Courtney’s very similar one.

“Finally, I’ve been looking for you for hours!” Courtney stomped forward and grabbed her wrist, wanting to pull her away and not cause an absolute scene.

“I clearly wanted to be left alone.” Heather retorted rudely but allowing Courtney to pull her.

She didn’t even get to say goodbye to the boy she’d met, Courtney had dragged her outside that damn fast. It was obvious to Heather that was furious and honestly, it made Heather’s night completely. Courtney’s face screwed up so much when she was angry and Heather, in her drunken state, thought it was adorable. She was huffing as she tried to find the words to say and Heather just took a seat, her lips curled into such a disgustingly smug smile that it infuriated Courtney even more.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Courtney shouted, throwing her arms up in the air, “You DRAG me to this party and then just LEAVE me!?”

“Yeah,” Courtney could’ve slapped her, she wanted too. Heather was SO DAMN smug.

“I told you, Court,” Heather was trying to stay stable, but the girl had had more to drink than even she’d liked to admit, “I wasn’t gonna deal with you crying about Duncan.”

“So you left me for some guy you don’t even know? To suck face all night?!” Courtney yelled once more, her fists balled so tightly her nails were dug into palms of her hand.

“Like you wouldn’t do the same.” Heather rolled her eyes; Courtney’s voice was loud, and she couldn’t be smug if Courtney was going to keep shouting at her.

“I would never! I respect myself enough to not go out and act like I’m easy.” Courtney scoffed, folding her arms.

Her eyes were full of judgement, like she was herself as better than Heather and it made Heather furious. Courtney had a way of getting to her, she had a way of getting under Heather’s skin. She was the only one that could get Heather that furious especially over a comment like that.

“Easy?” Heather’s voice was hard to read, and Courtney hesitated, unsure how to react. Heather had been drinking and therefore, Courtney couldn’t quite predict the route this argument would go – there were too many variables.

“That’s how it looked to me.” Courtney huffed, turning her head away.

At least if Heather tried to hit her, Courtney could fight back. She didn’t know how it would look with her being sober but at least she had a better chance at winning.

“Shut up.” Heather’s voice was threatening, and Courtney could tell she was still holding back, but she was also boiling with too much rage to stop.

“Don’t tell me to shut up.” Courtney snapped back.

‘Shut up,” Heather voice got scarier as she stepped forward, “Or I’ll make you shut up.”

“Are you threatening me?” 

Courtney didn’t know to react when Heather stepped forward and her nails touched her tanned cheeks, or what the look in her eyes meant. What she did know is that their bodies had never been this close, and her breath stopped. So did her heart. She hadn’t had anyone that close to her since…. Duncan. Heather’s nails never dug into her skin and her fingers were surprisingly cold, Courtney only able to stare at her in disbelief as Heather’s face moved closer to hers.

#heathney #total drama #heather td #Courtney td #duncan td #tdi #tda #tdwt #pls enjoy

[squirrelacorngliterfarts]

Blood. Chapter 2. 1.

Everything Taglist: @gold-dragon-slayer​ @your-internet-granny​

@darkwhisperswolf@youbloodymadgenius​  @thelastemzy​ 

@inforapound @supermassiveblackhope @captstefanbrandt @roonil-wxzlib   @syreni-dea  @cynthianokamaria @rosiebrosie @loliismutt @pinkisokay @heavenly1927​ @annekleyn​

happy first day of spring! be safe! 

wanna start from the beginning? haven’t read the first part? start here!  Blood 1 Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of death.

the silence is deafening, the feeling of dread settles in the lothbrok children, especially the young girl who is crying and gripping the edge of the boat her lost brother is laying in.

she’s feeling the comforting arms of her older brother ubbe, who’s trying to retract her away from the boat.

hvitserk, the third oldest is looking anywhere but her, the sight breaking his heart.

bjorn, the oldest is looking between all the young siblings, his eyes struggling to rest on sigurd.

and ivar, the youngest, is sitting on a chair from the bottom of the boat, looking at the brother that lay pale and unmoving, the brother that’s gone, that’s dead. 

the brother he killed.

tears fall from his eyes as he tries to meet her gaze, but all he sees is pain, pain he caused.

he wants to call her name, he wants to embrace her. 

but he can’t find the will to.

she, along with ubbe, crawls into the boat, laying down sigurds belongings and gifts for him to aid him into his journey to valhalla.

(y/n) sobs, pressing a kiss to sigurds cheeks.

“i love you, my brother” she whimpers, ubbe picking her up out of the boat and keeping her tucked to his side.

this day.......to see her brother, the man she grew up, but now she knows they won’t grow old together, experience each other’s families.

their story together was finished, and that thought alone made (y/n) feel an overwhelming sadness she hadn’t felt since her mother and father died.

just days prior she thought of her remaining families fate, what they’d accomplish, who they’d grow to be.

but now, those thoughts were faded.

(Y/n) closes her eyes, feeling hvitserk take her from ubbe’s arms, his kisses soft against her forehead and cheek, his hands running up and down her sides comfortingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(y/n) is sat down on a large crate, her feet dangling, her eyes glaring at the muddy ground within the tent.

bjorn comes in, opening the flap of the tent, adjusting himself against the wall.

ivar is sitting at the table, configuring his words, not knowing where  to start.

this was the first time the siblings were all in one room since sigurds death.

it was a hard pill to swallow, having ivar this close since then. (y/n) looks at him through her lashes, finding him staring at her with hurt and remorse.

she didn’t know what to say, or how to accept the feeling that surged through her with that look.

she wants to hold him close to her chest and forget about everything that happened.

but she can’t.

“i know what you’re all thinking” ivar says, his voice quiet and croaky from not speaking for so long.

“but it is not true!. i didn’t mean to kill him. he made me kill him”.

bjorn scoffs, turning away from ivar, looking towards their young sister who was struggling with hearing his words.

bjorns instinct was to get her out of there, and honestly?, ubbe felt the same.

she didn’t need to be hearing this.

but they didn’t need to push her, parent her in a time like this, she needed them, and somewhere deep within their souls they knew they needed her too.

“he taunted me. he made fun of me. what was i supposed to do?”.

deal with your anger elsewhere.

is what (y/n) wanted to say, but she decides to keep her mouth shut.

“what kind of a man taunts and tell lies about his own brother?”.

“and what lies did he tell?” hvitserk says, his eyes looking to (y/n) every now and then, making sure she was okay.

but was she ever going to be after this?.

“well, you know that as well as i do, hvitserk” ivar says, his face growing with anger, knowing his brothers didn’t believe him.

“he said you weren’t a real man” ubbe says, almost telling ivar, in a way, it was a simple taunt. nothing to be killed over.

but of course, ubbe did not know the truth behind sigurds words.

“and what would you have done if he had said that to you, ubbe?. what would you have done if you were ‘a real man’?”.

ubbe walks over towards ivar then, and gets in his face, pointing towards (y/n).

“i don’t care about my feelings, ivar. i would have walked away. i certainly wouldn’t have put (y/n)’s life in danger”.

ivar glares at him, seething his words out venomously.

“i didn’t put her life in danger. i would never”.

“you threw an axe in her direction! if sigurd wouldn’t have pushed her out of the way in time, it would have been her life that was taken! you could of killed her!”.

“i didn’t!  i didn’t mean to kill him! my rage blinded me! i couldn’t even see her! i would have never threw it if i knew she was there!” ivar shouted.

“stop it!” (y/n) says loudly, causing the men to look at her with wide eyes. “there is too much heaviness, to much sadness, i can’t bare to hear you two fight”.

ivar relaxes in his chair, looking away from both ubbe and (y/n), focusing his eyes on the table in front of him.

ubbe says nothing, solemnly sipping from his mug, letting the ale swallow his emotions.

“i swear to the gods and everything that is sacred that i never meant to kill him. anger overcame me. and i wasn’t thinking. i am truly sorry” ivar finishes, there was nothing else to be said. he collects his things and crawling out of his chair, leaving the tent, letting his eyes linger on (y/n) before exiting.

she breathes a sigh, not being able to not believe him.

she did believe him.

she knew ivar better than anyone in that tent, knew all his dark secrets and all his deepest thoughts, she could tell by the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice, he was being truthful.

but maybe...........maybe she wasn’t reading him properly, maybe he was lying, maybe this time she wasn’t able to understand him and his mind.

and that’s what scares her.

his anger was a force to be reckoned with, nothing could stop ivar when he was enraged.

what would happen if she were to say the wrong thing to him?, accidently?.

she’d like to think that ivar loved her too much to ever put her in a situation like that.

but who knows?.

she thought, despite all the arguments, that ivar too loved sigurd.

she runs her hands over her face in frustration, hopping down from the crate. her bare feet landing in the dirt.

“where are you going?” ubbe asks, coming to her side.

she nods towards the tent’s entrance.

“you know where”.

ubbe ponders her words for a moment, before placing his palm on her cheek.

“are you sure that is the best thing?, maybe i can come with-”.

she overlaps her palm over his.

“i think i need to talk to him alone. i’ll be fine”.

ubbe sighs, but accepts her words, embracing her chastly before watching her walk away.

“i wouldn’t have done that” bjorn says, taking a mug of ale from hvitserks offering hand. “you honestly think her alone with him is the best thing right now?”.

“it is the only thing i can do right now to keep her head on straight. you seen what ragnar and aslaugs deaths did to her, i don’t want her to lose herself again, i will do whatever it takes to keep her mind level, and if that means doing what she wants, i will allow it”.

ubbe finishes his mead, pointing his finger at bjorn and hvitserk.

“if i so much as hear otherwise i will not tolerate it, i will take (y/n) somewhere she can heal, without the judgment of others”.

ubbe leaves the tent, leaving hvitserk and bjorn alone.

“this is only going to get better” bjorn says sarcastically, stomping out of the tent with hvitserk on his heels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“and then! the mighty viking warrior storms out of the cave!” (y/n) shouts, throwing her arms up, letting go of the water that she had cupped in her hands.”and he screams!”

“YAAAAAAHHH! TIS I! I AM FREE!” sigurd shouts, thrusting his wood sword high, the other holding a wood shield.

aslaug laughs, along with young ivar, ubbe and hvitserk by her sides.

“but, what is this!?” (y/n) shouts, running behind the large curtain ubbe had helped her set up hours earlier.

it was quiet, until (y/n) jumps from her hiding spot, with a mask hiding her face as she makes the most loud and horrific noises.

aslaug playfully jumps back in fear, but can’t hide her laughter as her two youngest put on this comedic story.

lagertha is in the corner with bjorn and helga, laughing.

“i shall destroy this beast!” sigurd yells heroically, swinging his sword towards her.

“careful, sigurd!” aslaug says, only for (y/n) to pause, lifting the mask from her face.

“mama, shh!”.

bjorn laughs harder, his arms crossed over his chest as he stares at his sibling with amused eyes.

they resume the story, and sigurd takes large ferocious swings.

just when it seems as if the creature is about to win, sigurd jumps upon the table, and sticks his sword between the pit of her arm.

she makes a choked sound, making strange little hissing noises before falling to the ground, thrashing about until she stilled, her tiny legs bent in a odd position.

“ta da!” (y/n) exclaimes, hopping to her feet to take sigurd hand.

everyone in the hall claps, applauding the children, cheering and raising their mugs to them.

“well done!” aslaug stands, clapping her hands together enthusiastically, smiling widely at her children.

sigurd and (y/n) bow dramatically, and sigurd is caught off guard when she wraps her arms around him, hugging him close to her.

he feels himself smile happily, returning the embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

though they rarely got along, the love they had for each other was silent, yet deep to the core. and it would never be replicated.

she cries quietly to herself as she makes her way through the crowd to find ivar.

............

her brothers killer............

#ivar's heathen army #ivar the boneless #bjorn #hvitserk #sigurd #ubbe #floki #angst #sad #vikings #vikings x reader #vikings x lothbrok!reader #vikings fanfiction #vikings imagine #vikings writing #fluff #writing.

[fromtheboundlesssea]

We need more moments between Jaime and Celia in a song that never ends 😳😏😝

“My mother cannot rule in Tommen’s stead,” she told him plainly. “She is unfit.”

Her uncle’s mouth closed tightly and he lifted his head ever so slightly to regard her. “Your mother is doing what she thinks is best.”

“Putting your son upon a Baratheon throne did not go well the first time, did it?”

“Tommen is not Joffrey.”

“No,” Celia admitted. “He’s not.” She looked down at her personal map of Westeros. Her father had given it to her as a way to help her visualize historical battles in the books she loved studying. Now she marked the progress of the war she had no true place in besides as supposed evidence that her other siblings were Baratheons as well. “But Tommen is a child and will naturally lean on Mother for assistance, or Margaery, once they marry. I can already see her sinking her thorns into him. She will make a good queen, I think, but she will clash with Mother and that isn’t anything good. Besides, no one trusts us much after Joffrey took Lord Stark’s head and plunged us into this unnecessary war.”

“And what would you suggest then?” he asked, stepping forward to look at the map before them.

Something hot churned in her belly as she felt her uncle’s arm brush against hers. His presence was overwelming. The scent of armor polish and metal always made her feel weak in a way she did not like. She had to keep her wits about her if she was to make sure their family would survive. Having her uncle there always caused a request for form at the tip of her tongue, only for her to swallow it down and bury it deep.

“We need someone the people will trust. Someone that will see the peace my father accomplished.” She had not realized she was staring at him until his dark green eyes were upon her. She turned away quickly, looking back at the map. “Just because many of the opposing forces have diminished, does not mean others won’t rise. It would be like the Greyjoy Rebellion, only we don’t have the allies my father had. We need someone who will put the people at ease.”

“Someone like you?” His voice was rough and Celia felt warmth spread through her body as she felt him tuck her hair behind her ear. She looked at him and found him still staring.

“I don’t want power,” she said quickly.

“How un-Lannister of you,” he said, bending his head ever so slightly.

“I am not a Lannister,” she replied in a whisper.

“So I am often reminded.” His golden hand was on her cheek and Celia took in a sharp breath. “So, what do you want?”

She searched his gaze. “Do not ask me.” She wanted to cry out for the gods to damn her. To allow her this one happiness when it had been so long denied her by her mother. She thought of the Dornish boy with violet eyes from her girlhood and the stollen kiss inside the godswood. She thought of Uncle Jaime’s warm hand upon her back as he drew her close during the dances at feasts. She thought of her longing. “Do not ask me.”

His warm breath fanned across her face as he drew closer still. Celia put her hands on his chest, fisting at his tunic. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest. There was no going back after his.

“Yes,” he said, pulling her closer.

Then his lips were on hers and Celia let go, wrapping her arms around Ser Jaime’s neck and allowed herself to be consumed.

#keep the prompts coming #a song that never ends #celia baratheon #jaime lannister #maybe #jaime lannister x oc #there’s tension there at least #celiaverse #snippet #gifs by me

[manatehispants]

Finally Home

"And now he is gone. I gave everyone I could a happy ending but.....I have to wonder.....Humans and angels they talk all the time about Grandfather. They tell stories of his never ending kindness and his love for us all. But would a kind God really have allowed all of this to happen? He was ready to erase this entire universe. Erase billions and billions of lives. Would a kind God do that? Would a loving father really have allowed his son to fall as hard as Lucifer did? What about Gabriel? How could Grandfather have loved him so deeply yet punished him so callously for one slip-up? What is it? Grandfather loves us all until we disagree with him or mess up? Then what? He gives us the boot? Shames and punishes us? And if I keep being God.....If I master all this power does that mean I will become as cruel as he was? I don't want to be that. I don't want to forget what it is like to love and give a damn."

Elaine's voice cracked with raw emotion as she ended her line of questioning. A being who appeared as a young man with fair skin and straw colored hair listened to her intensely. His silver blue eyes held both love and sorrow for the girl. No words did this being utter, yet Elaine knew everything he would have said had he spoken. She frowned at the man as her hands balled into fist at her sides hard enough that she could feel her nails cutting into the tender flesh of her palms. For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut, a light shade of crimson formed in her cheeks as she felt her entire body start to tremble with rage, hurt, confusion and emotions that she couldn't even begin to put a name to. As her body quaked further her eyes suddenly snapped back open with defiance burning within them. For the first time since he had met this young woman Duma felt fearful of her. For the defiant flame in her eyes almost mirrored that of Lucifer's when he had rebelled against Heaven and all of the Host.

"It isn't fair and you don't know this is for the best!!! Billions of souls have ceased to exist because of me! Countless are dead! The Silver City is a mess! My biological father is dead! The father who raised me was killed, my mother no longer knows I even existed and the closest thing I had to a parent is gone for good. People I never even met they hate me for things I never did!! People praise my name and thank me at an overwhelming rate for things I had nothing to do with. Everyone expects something of me and keeps telling me I am meant for greatness....I don't want to be great! I just want to be me! Haven't I gave enough already!? How can you even think if this was all part of his plan that Grandfather ever once cared for me, Duma?"

The very air around them crackled with the intensity of the young woman's emotions. Duma had always been known for being calm in almost any situation. He was known for never doubting his Father but how with everything that had happened could he still remain so sure there was a plan in place for all? How could he still seem so certain that everything was going to be okay when even Elaine found herself doubting things.The ground under them seemed to pulse with Elaine's anger as rain began pour down at an impressive rate on them. Elaine wanted to crumple to the ground, to cry and scream her throat raw but when your God you don't get to be so childish. Instead she closed her eyes tightly and inhaled deeply. It was true Elaine had no need to breath but still this small habit helped to calm her down and remind her of how important it was to remain in control of her emotions. After a moment the rain ceased almost completely. Duma's hand softly pressed itself against Elaine's shoulder. For a half of a second she leaned into his touch wanting badly to be comforted but quickly she pulled away from him. Her light lavender-grey colored hues locked onto the ground as she spoke. It was so much easier to stare at nothing than look him in the face right now.

"I will never allow for myself to be like him. I will not allow this job to make me so cold. I won't constantly play with the lives of others as if they are nothing more than toys and end up making everyone around me miserable including myself. Mortals will be free of me and I of them. I will remain God but only in title and in the needed connection. Lucifer left this place....He left all the universes. I won't do that but I don't have to stay right here. Just as he didn't have to stay in Hell or in Heaven. His creation can still be remade. I will stay there and let this place do what it will. Because every time I try to help...Something ten times worse happens anyway. I don't need this heartache and neither does anyone. I will go and for the first time since I met any of you angels and demons, I am going to be happy."

Duma's soft features plainly showed concerned and even a certain level of fear at Elaine's words. Would she honestly do that? He held a hand up in protest but by the time he did this it was too late. The young Goddess had already turned her back to him. Carefully she began reforming the creation that had once been Lucifer's. This wasn't easy, she was still new to doing such things and being as upset as she currently was didn't much help her focus on this task. Yet within moments she had done it. She smiled triumphantly at the feat she had accomplished. The end of her fingers tips gave off a light blue glow as next she began to trace open a doorway to this recreated universe. It was only as she finished this that she turned back to Duma who looked completely crushed by the turn of events. Gently she took his hands into her own and spoke to him.

The angel blinked in confusion at this gesture but he made no effort what so ever to pull away from his new Lord. Instead he straightened his back and focused all of his attention onto Elaine. It was now her who gave him a sad yet adoring look. Without Duma having spoke Elaine still was fully aware of every single emotion that coursed through him at this moment. She was God after all and God is said to know all. Even the spoken emotions we attempt to hide away from the world.

"Don't look so heartbroken. I know.....This may seem wrong but I can't stay here and be what you all want of me. I can't rule over everyone and become as cold hearted as Grandfather did. I can't be everything you need me to be.....Even with all this power. I won't abandon this Universe like Lucifer had but I won't remain in it ruling and playing with lives as Grandfather did. I just.....I want to be happy and live my own life.....I know it won't last forever. Something will force me back here but for a bit.....I want to pretend to be okay.....That I too can have a happy ending."

For a long time nothing more was said. They both stood in silence holding each other's hands. After what felt to Elaine like a life time Duma gave her hands a gently squeeze and smiled at her. He nodded his head, dropping her hands from his own he pointed at the now fully opened door way and motioned for her to leave. It was in this moment that Elaine felt the weight of the world for but a second being lifted from her shoulders. She smiled adoringly at the fair skinned angel and wrapped her arms tightly around his slender form. For a second the angel's body tensed up completely. Angels weren't use to the social ways of humans. This seemingly random act of affection was some what baffling to him yet after the slight pause he smiled softly and returned the hug. After a moment he gently disengaged from the hug and lightly nudged Elaine towards the doorway as if to tell her that it was now time for them part way.

For a brief moment the Goddess bowed her head slightly and closed her eyes. Was this really the right move or was she behaving exactly as Lucifer now? She told Duma she would still be here in many ways. Her name was still written on every single person and thing in all of the universe. She was still as connected to this place as her Grandfather had once been but hadn't Lucifer remained in many ways connected to Hell when he quit there? Was this a sign that she too would end up on a path much like his and ended up abandoning everyone to fulfill her own selfish desires? Elaine's eyes snapped back open and now she laughed softly to herself as she shook her head.

No, she wouldn't end up like her uncle or like anyone else in her family. She would walk a path completely of her own. For better or worse. She was God now and Elaine would not back down from her duty as Lucifer had from his. Nor would she become consumed by them and grow cold as her Grandfather did. The young Goddess could sense Duma's eyes still on her. Despite his blessing he still had many misgivings about what she was doing. Elaine knew this and part of her wanted to linger longer. To keep talking to him and force him to completely understand why things must be this way. But how do you convince someone of such a thing when you, yourself are not convinced of it? Elaine did the only thing she now could do. She smiled one last time over her shoulder at Duma. Then taking a deep breath she turned and walked through the doorway. Out of the universe that she was so deeply connected to and into the one that her uncle had once had his own name completely intertwined with.

It was only once Elaine had fully entered Lucifer's old creation that she dared or even thought for that matter to exhale. It was strange to be back here once more. She had thought this was a place nobody would ever again lay eyes on. That there would never again be need of this place. Last time she had been here this universe had been filled with beings from all sorts of places but now the only life that remained intact was that of plants and trees. It was going to be a lonely place to remain Elaine knew this. Still this somehow being there felt more right than anything else had to her in the last few years. As she walked this newly created place a smile crept it's way onto her features. The young Goddess paused by a tree and gently allowed for her finger tips to brush up against the rough bark.

"Home. I am finally home. This is where I belong."

The words sounded strange as they left Elaine's lips but as she heard them out loud she realized how true they were. This, this creation of her uncle's had been the last place she ever felt safe, accepted, cared for and at peace in. Maybe that was the true reason for her being here again and the rest was just added excuses. Maybe she really had come back here because it was the only real home she had any longer. Even with Lucifer no longer running the show and with it being empty of any real life forms it still felt more like her rightful home than anything else ever had. Elaine was no fool and she knew she could not stay here forever. She knew in the deepest part of heart that something would soon force her to once more be on be back in her Grandfather's universe. However for now she would take pleasure in this small escape just as Lucifer once had. She would allow herself to remember once more what it was like to have a home, to be safe and to be allowed the freedom to live her life her way.

#Elaine Belloc #DC Comics #vertigo comics #Fanfic #Ao3 #Lucifer Comics #Duma #angel of silence

[vesuvian-american]

Part 2 of Abandoned in the End

Chapter 2: Spider Lily

Here’s part two, I didn’t like it at first but after a bit of tweaking i’m fairly pleased with myself! I hope you all enjoy! Enjoy it on AO3 too!<3333

Words: 2,010

You weren’t sure how much time had passed since you last saw them in person. You could still feel them though, alive, far away in the other world. Moving on with their lives. You used your magic to check in on them, to watch them. However, each time you did you noticed they changed. They sensed you there, lurking, unwilling to leave them be. Their smiling faces would fall, shivers creeped up their spines, eyes darting around the room to catch a glimpse of you. Not because they missed you, not because they wanted to see you, but because they wished to avoid you at all costs. Turn the other way and run.

Asra’s deck would scream at him to keep his guard up, immediately pulling his attention from whatever he was doing, whether it be spending time with Julian or tending to a customer. A part of you liked seeing him so spooked, another part, a repressed part, ached. It yearned to reach out and comfort Asra, your lifelong friend. He doubled and tripled his protection spells, trying in vain to keep you at bay. You’d bring him back to you eventually, whether it be this life or the next.

Nadia’s headaches returned with your presence, her sixth sense sniffing you out immediately. She was uneasy but she always asked you to leave. She was annoyed, she hated you now and that hurt. If she wasn’t too preoccupied, she’d leave you to walk off somewhere else and distract herself with a task, you’d follow. You never gave her a moments rest, always keeping the beloved Countess on her toes. She was strong though, the new Vesuvia she made was beautiful, you hated not being a part of it.

As much as Julian lacked sleep before, you made it even harder for him now, every time he slept, he remembered you, he cried for you, even yearned for you but he knew better than to get too caught up. You weren’t the same, and he wasn’t going to try and love the new you. He deserved better than that, so he fought. He drowned himself in coffee to avoid thinking about you, running himself into the ground to escape you. Hyperactive, because if even for a second he relaxed, he’d fall asleep and be tormented by your memory.

Muriel, well, he was tricky to get to. He didn’t give you any attention, you knew he could sense you there, watching, but he was good at hiding from his feelings. That is until you started to manifest physically in his presence for a reaction. Using your magic to create doppelgangers of yourself. Hard to ignore seeing the person that saved you from you demons sitting at the foot of your bed at night, looking like how you did in life. He broke down at that, but you didn’t let up. You chased him, always showing up just out of the corner of his sight. You got your reaction, and now the Devil inside craved more.

It was hard for Portia to get back to normal. She missed you, and you missed her too. She was like a warm ray of sunshine after the coldest winter, refreshing. She thought about you constantly, brought you up in conversations, but when she started to notice those around her hated your name being spoken, she stopped. A part of you broke, you thought at least you’d have someone in your corner, even if she was the most afraid of you. Portia bringing up your memory was only a way for her to avoid and ignore the crippling fear she felt thinking about the new you... the better you. She left Vesuvia for a spell another way to hide from the current you, but you still found her. She visited the other princesses of Prakra and you followed. Like a storm on the horizon, ever present doom followed poor Portia. “You can’t forget me” you’d whisper to her.

Now Lucio, he was back to his old ways. Throwing parties and drinking to ignore his pain. He wasn’t Count anymore but he still held a bit of status. You envied him. You wanted to ruin him. You pursued him constantly, scaring him, keeping him in a constant state of fear. Every time he was too drunk to stand properly, you’d lure him to his old ashen wing of the palace, and their you’d lurk. An ever-constant reminder of his failures and treachery. You reveled in the power. You felt strong.

No. You felt weak. They still weren’t here! They were free! Living their lives, not stuck, trapped bound to the Devil. Watching enviously from the sidelines. You hated this new form.

Actually, no. You loved this new form, truly. You’ll bring them back eventually. They won’t ever leave again. It was time to stop fighting. To let the Devil have his way. You may be stuck in this realm but that doesn’t mean they can’t be here stuck with you, you thought. A devilish grin cracked across your face; your crimson eyes glowed.

For this to work you’ll have to back off for a few years. Allow them to live in peace, and think all of this is of the past. What a rude awakening they’ll have coming for them. For the next years you’ll be growing stronger, preserving your strength for the night you’ll drag the back home to hell.

20 years passed, though it felt like no more than a few months for you, you looked the same of course. You took a little peak at them, they couldn’t feel you, this time. You watched them fall in love, grow, heal. Even with all of these changes they were still the same as always. Asra, so outgoing, holding everybody together. Nadia, strong and elegant. Julian, smart as ever, and still so funny. Muriel, quiet but ever kind and gentle. Portia, happy and mischievous, and fun-loving. Lucio, charming and transparent, and still a heavy drinker. You loved it. You loved seeing them like this, thinking they were safe and free, all the better for when you destroy them.

It happened one night. They all slept soundly, safe and cozy in their beds. Except they woke up in the Devil’s realm. Right at your feet, the throne room was unrecognizable. You had destroyed it after they left the last time you saw them decades ago. Burning it to the ground with your thoughts alone.

“Rise and shine my pretties.” You hissed, such glee dancing in your crimson eyes. Muriel was the first to wake, just a split second before the rest. You laughed hysterically as they realized their new circumstances. They were trapped. All of you together forever in the throne room of the Devil’s realm. You couldn’t control yourself, your laughs coming out in bursts and wheezes, they could hear the true Devil’s voice laced behind your own.

“Y/N... What have you done?” Asra asks, sounding so pathetic. Your old friends all cowered close together, trembling with fear, utterly confused.

“Oh Asra, you don’t look so good. I thought you’d age better than this.” You sneered, it was a lie though, of course he was still beautiful and full of life. “If you haven’t all figured it out yet, you’re going to be spending the rest of your days here with me.” You grinned, the smile was unnaturally wide on your face, a wicked grin. Silence ensued but you could hear their hearts races, the sound alone made you tremble, aroused by their fear.

“Don’t all cheer at once, I know how happy you all must be, right?” You joked, snorting out another short laugh before continuing. “So, get as comfortable as you can get here, it’ll be a while.”

“Whatever do you think to accomplish with all of this, Devil?” Nadia spoke, her voice projecting throughout the room. You rolled your eyes dramatically.

“First of all, you know my name Nadia, dear. Secondly, I’ve missed you all, haunting you for those first few months was getting so boring.” You whined, “I need the real you here, with me, to make up for lost time!” You were still suspended a few feet off of the ground by the rope they bound you with, you tried to wiggle free. “So as you can see, I’m still bound to this hell and couldn’t come visit.”

“...That never stopped you from showing yourself.” Muriel spoke in a hush tone, making a point to avoid your fiery gaze.

“Well, love, if you weren’t being so proactive in ignoring me, I wouldn’t have to have worked myself up, stretching my magic all the way to you like that. Don’t blame me.” You stared at him intensely, watching him shrink in on himself as much as he could. Even as Asra spoke you still were persistent in staring at the gentle giant, seeing the fear settle deep into his bones brought you happiness, you waited so long to see him in person again.

“This isn’t you Y/N! Let us go!” Asra shouted, rushing over to Muriel’s side to hold him.

“I know this isn’t me Asra, isn’t that what I was trying to convince you all of 20 years ago? Hm? Was it not!?” You shouted, fine cracks stretching up the walls. “I begged you all to let me go, I begged for you to see past this hideous form and to the real me! So, if I’m stuck here forever, you all will be too! This is your fault.” You struggled against your ropes, but they only tightened.

“Ugh honestly! What did you do to me? These ropes are really starting to work my nerves.” You carried on as if this were just normal conversation, before Julian finally spoke.

“We’ll be here f-forever?” He asked, stuttering his words.

“Yes, beloved, forever. I won’t harm you all, I love you too much. Though, you all should really consider setting me free so that it can truly feel like old times.” You cooed.

“IT CAN’T BE LIKE OLD TIMES!” Lucio shrieked, shoving a golden clawed finger in your direction. He had the nerve to talk to you like that, after all he's done.

“How dare you speak! How dare you speak like that to me!” You voice made the entire temple vibrate, threatening a collapse. The rest of the group shrunk back; Portia started to cry.

You sighed, the magic you expelled was taking a toll on your patience. “Don’t cry Portia, I’m sorry for Lucio’s foul behavior, you know how he gets.” You tried to sound as sincere as you could, but something in you wanted to laugh in their faces again.

The face she makes in response tells you all you need to know. Talk won’t help. “Okay, okay! I’m only kidding. But I assure you, I’m still me, I’m just a little bitter for the last two decades in solitude. You all moved on and fell in love. While I’m here alone watching from the sidelines.” Your head hung low, the anger your felt years ago was back at a boiling point. Honestly, you had to spell it out for them again?

“Lucio caused this whole mess but even he’s free, I saved the world and I’m here. That hardly seems fair. But, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones if you set me free from these ropes and allow me to move on with you all!” You give them a winning grin, and wiggle your fingertips and feet. That’s all the movement you can manage given your circumstances.

You give your word that won’t harm them and you remind them that you can’t lie as an Arcana. Over time, you promise them more freedoms, things do start to become a new normal. Not long after that, do they forget their days of freedom, they forget why you’re even tied up to begin with. You’re free. Free with your friends, whom you’ve granted immortality to, so long as they’re in the Arcana realms.

You’re all together again, forever. Forever together.

#the arcana #the arcana game #fic #main 6 #angst #devil!apprentice #abandoned in the end #part 2

[let-it-show]

Fear

I thought of this during my most recent viewing, during “The Next Right Thing”. It’s an angsty piece where Anna expresses the effect of Elsa’s pushing her away for the last time.

"I never got to say bye to you."

The words hung alone in the air, cutting through the quiet and ushering a feeling of disharmony into the room. All peace that had existed there moments before crept away. Anna narrowed her eyes at the large painting before her of her sister, just Elsa alone. The piece was made shortly after Elsa had begun her short reign as queen, and it was so beautiful it always seemed to take Anna's breath away.

"You never let me tell you goodbye," she said, rephrasing her statement from before. "You pushed me away, giving me no direction, and then you were gone from sight. I couldn't see you, didn't know if I'd ever find you, until Olaf was gone. Then I knew I wouldn't find you," she continued, her words almost a whisper.

A tear ran down her cheek, followed shortly by another and she swallowed thickly. "I had nothing. I was in that dark cave, my friend just flurried away and you know what was left? A carrot. A carrot, some sticks, and some coal. All that I followed was reduced to a carrot, sticks and coal. Even his snow was carried away. All I had left of you was gone and I never got to say anything about it." The pain in her voice was like a dull knife, cutting painfully slow. "I got up anyway and I kept going. I had to. I didn't know if I could but I had to. I didn't want to. My stomach hurt, my eyes hurt, my head hurt, and-and shatter a frozen heart into a thousand pieces. That's maybe a fraction of what I felt, and the only one who could ever put it together again was you."

Tears began to flow and Anna covered her mouth as a sob threatened to erupt. "I still think about it. I have nightmares and Kristoff has to wake me to remind me you're not gone. I don't have the nightmares with you beside me because - because of course I don't!" she dropped her hand, voice raised. "I know each time we part and we say goodbye, that means you're not gone. I know I'll see you. But what if some night, I wake and Olaf's not there but the sticks are. What if I wake up to see the roof dripping from a thaw. What do I do? All because-"

"Because I didn't let you say goodbye."

Anna whirled around on her feet, her green dressed nearly tripping her up. "Elsa!?"

Elsa stood down the hall from her sister, wearing the white dress Anna loved her in. She called her a 'fairy' in it and loved to touch it and run the strange otherworldly fabric through her fingers. She'd come unannounced after receiving a troubling note from her sister's fiance. A journey she would usually enjoy and take her time on had become a rushed one of anxiety. Her arms were folded as she took in the troubling sight of her sister talking to her portrait and airing out raw emotion she hadn't displayed to her yet. "I'm here," she said, her head tilted slightly as she continued to study her.

Anna looked from Elsa to the picture, then back to Elsa. "Um...did you hear me?" she asked, almost sounding panicked.

"Mmhmm." Elsa's shoulders relaxed and she opened her arms. "Come here, Anna."

Never able to resist her sister's open arms, Anna rushed toward her. When she was close she did trip over her dress, only to be caught by Elsa. She pulled Anna in close and wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Why haven't you said any of this to me?"

Anna was crying. The tears subsided temporarily due to surprise but when in the familiar and warm embrace, she couldn't hold back. Her sobs were louder, mouth not buried in Elsa's shoulder as her face was turned against it. Her shoulders shook and Elsa just squeezed her. With her arms tight around her, all she wanted to do was convey she would never let her go as her own heart sank in Anna's sadness. She never wanted to hurt her. More than anything she had never intended to send her home with any part of her feeling broken and incomplete even if it was inevitable to some point. Being apart always left her with a noticeable emptiness she was sure Anna suffered as well.

Since Anna had yet to respond, Elsa loosened the grip of one arm so that she could stroke her fingers through Anna's hair. It was messy as though she has started to fall asleep but got up before it went into its full bedhead frenzy. "Sssshhh," she whispered. "I'm here, I'm here."

Anna shifted her weight against her but didn't let go. "I don't want you to let me go," Anna sobbed finally.

"I'm not. I've never let you go, Anna. I- I know I've pushed you away thinking it would protect you and save you, but I've never ever let you go. Sssshh." Elsa's own eyes held tears in them but she didn't allow them to pour while Anna was breaking.

"There was nothing when I thought you were gone. Nothing. It hurt so bad Elsa, I'm so scared of feeling it again. I've never been so scared of anything in my whole life," she said, finally turning to bury her face in her neck.

"Why have you never told me?" Elsa asked her again.

Anna sniffed and it tickled. "When I see you I'm so happy. I don't think about it, or maybe I don't let myself think about it. I can't because you're here and I'm so, so happy."

Elsa slowed the stroking of her hair, but only for a moment. "But you deserve to be happy when you can't see me, too."

"I-I am. I miss you, but I'm okay. Sometimes though it's dark and I visit that memory and I can't stand it. Sometimes I visit it when I don't mean to, when I dream even though I have Kristoff right there. I even have Olaf but when I'm afraid, I'm terrified I'll open my eyes and see him flurrying away again. Sometimes I just see those flakes and Elsa, I don't just lose him. I lose you." She was rambling. Rambling and crying.

As a result Elsa drew back and lifted Anna's chin with one delicate finger, taking in her red eyes, wet cheeks and runny nose. "You'll always have me, Anna. I'm so sorry I pushed you away like that, and even...even sorrier for what you've endured because of that," she told her, her stomach a hollow pit.

"It's...I don't want you to feel bad, I don't want-"

"No." Elsa said the word so firmly and suddenly that again Anna's crying was interupted and she stared at her in shock.

"Don't you try to absolve me of this guilt, Anna. You always try to take on my pain and the burden of my mistakes to make me feel better, but I don't want that. I didn't make a good choice." Elsa wiped a tear away from one of Anna's eyes. "I hurt you, and I am deeply sorry." She was, in a way words couldn't describe. In a way Elsa found herself wondering if the extreme emotion she felt, from love to pain and sadness, was deepened with what she had become. Realistically, she knew love and all that came with it was still human. She was not so far removed and would never allow herself to be - especially with Anna grounding her.

"I forgive you, though. I do, Elsa! I do. I'm not...the fear hurts, and I sounded bad when you heard me I know I did." She sniffed and cleared her throat. "I'm not mad at you. I got you back."

"You must be a little mad," Elsa told her, and she tilted her head forward to touch her forehead to Anna's. "It's okay to be mad, Anna."

"I don't like it."

Elsa smiled gently. "No one does."

Anna still had tears flowing, but she blinked slowly, and then a little smile came to her face as well, immediately brightening Elsa's world. "You're right. No-no one does. I really hate being mad at you, so I try not to be."

"Don't limit yourself for my sake Anna." Elsa's smile grew. "I want you to feel how you need to feel. I love you more than anyone in this world and any beyond it." She kissed Anna's forehead, her lips lingering just a second before drawing away. Anna beamed up at her, face still marked from crying but not masked with distress. "Don't ever forget that."

"I won't. I- didn't I used to help you with this stuff?" Anna asked, and it was true. She had helped greatly in breaking Elsa free of the shell she hid in anxiously for so long, and allowing her to feel as she needed, letting her air it out and handle her views on her self worth.

Elsa knew that she still would never see herself the way Anna saw her. That was something not even a thousand journeys to Ahtohallan could accomplish, and she accepted it. Elsa would never say it but she knew Anna could also never quite hold the view of herself that Elsa had. Anna's soul was a presence Elsa could only hope to equal someday and she treasured that. "You did," she finally answered. "You taught me how to do it for you."

Anna nodded, joy clear in her face. She was quiet for a few seconds, before she sighed. "My eyes hurt. And I had to try really hard not to wipe my nose on my dress."

She couldn't help it - Elsa laughed a little and gently cupped Anna's face in her hands. "You're beautiful, you know, but I think the sheen from the snot takes away from your natural look."

"Ew, Elsa!" Anna pulled out of her grip and leaned back with a laugh. "That's gross!"

Elsa lowered both arms only to take Anna's hand in hers. "Let's go wash your face up then. Find your nicest soap and the softest towel," she said playfully. "And I'll brush your hair out, you'll feel better."

Anna nodded. "Okay! And then we better get snacks."

"Slumber party?" Elsa asked, amused as she started to tug her along. Her eyes widened as suddenly Anna jumped foward and began to tug her old sister along instead.

"Yup," Anna giggled, her hand still in Elsa's firm grip. "Slumber party."

#Frozen 2 #drabble #Anna #Elsa #angst

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 11)

The waves break around her with impressive size. Azula can only attribute it to the after effects of the turbulent weather. She tastes salt and seaspray as her board cuts across the underbelly of the wave. From the right vantage she can see the sun through crystal clear waters, the way it glints and sparkles throwing prismic reflections upon her skin. From the wrong vantage point, it beams directly into her eyes and she has to squint against it or hold her hand at her brows, nearly throwing her balance.

She carves up and down the wave, it is exhilarating and she wonders why she has neglected part taking for so long. It provides the thrill that she craves, the sensation of falling that spikes her adrenaline.

Azula licks her lips, tasting the salt upon them. She is in the mood for something flashy, something that she hasn’t done in ages. It is a tricky feat, something she had just barely managed to pull off before entering a self-imposed hiatus. Evidently, she isn’t sure that she will be able to pull it off at all.

She climbs to the very top of the wave and gives her board a very abrupt snap. The spray she kicks up rises in an incredible arc. Each little drop catches in the sun and glimmers around her likes sparks thrown from a bonfire.

It is spectacular until she loses her footing. She supposes that she has done better than she had in the past, when she hadn’t even been able to produce the spray. Her body smacks the waves with a stinging force and they take her under. She is thankful that the strap on her ankle keeps her board tethered to her as she fights the waves. She would hate to lose it, it was a gift from Sokka. Sokka who had noted her fondness of the color blue and her enjoyment of watching storms over the ocean and bought her a sleek midnight blue board with neon blue lines of lightning painted all over it. Azula resurfaces and, panting heavily, carries the board back to the shore.

Seaweed clings to her shoulder and dangles from the board. It falls to the sand with a wet pop when her footsteps cause the board to shudder. She drops to the sand with a huff and crosses her legs with one fluid motion. She rests her elbow upon the bend of her leg and her chin in her palm. Her expression fixed into a rather full pout.

She has lost her touch. It was a nearly perfect execution. But nearly perfect won’t cut it come the competition. A fall like that would have cost her critical points.

Jet’s pats her shoulder, “I’ll give that trick a solid ten and your landing an eleven for entertainment.”

She watches Chan paddle towards the next wave.

“It was a dreadful landing.” Azula grumbles.

He shrugs. “I mean it’s been months since you’ve surfed. Welcome back by the way.”

“So what, I should be able to…”

“Retain a skill you just finished learning to perform?”

Azula shrugs.

“At least give yourself a few tries.” Ruon-Jian suggests. “Snaps are a pain in the ass!”

She watches Chan perform a seamless bottom turn and then a kickflip. He lands it well and the wave drops away. “You’re up.” He motions to Jet. Jet gives her a two finger salute before running at the new wave.

“I take it that you’re doing better?” Chan asks.

“Better.” She tries the word on her tongue. “Yes, quite. Katara and her family have been good to Zuzu and I.” She has been called a liar before, Zuko calls her a liar quite often. She can’t entirely disagree, not when she is lying to herself.

“Yeah, where’s he at anyways? Ruon misses his favorite loser boy.”

“Dude, shut up!” He scoffs. Nothing peeves him more than having his most absurd, middle school insults brought up.

“On a date with Katara.” Azula replies, her stomach fluttering with envy and loss. She should be on a date of her own, she would be. She swallows, “they’re at the ice cream parlor.”

She is not okay, and to insist that she is, is a larger lie than she has ever told. Jet returns and Ruon retreats, happy for an excuse to run from remarks that make him blush.

“Is your dad still attending AA?”

Azula nods. “Regularly.” She leaves out that he has snuck a glass or two already. She supposes that it is much better than his binge drinking. Still it frustrates her and neither she nor Zuko have the courage or stupidity to get between the man and his glasses.

“You gonna give the snap another go?” Ruon asks.

Again, Azula nods. She picks up her surfboard and returns to the water. This wave is some larger than the first. She readies herself to go for another snap when a realization dawns upon her. She has been presented with a rare opportunity, she rides upon a perfect wave. She could go for a snap, yes. But how often is the chance for a tube ride bestowed upon a person?

Azula takes a deep breath and finds herself some steady footing. She crouches down and glides along as the wave folds over. A grin breaks over her face--she thinks that this one may very well be genuine--as she rides through a perfect tunnel of water. It is a thrilling feeling of elation that she hasn’t felt in ages. If for only a very long minute, it is just she and that wave. That perfect crashing wave. There is nothing like it. Two walls of water to the sides of her with a liquid ceiling and floor. The wave is immaculately and unapologetically aquamarine in color and she could swear, God, she could swear that she saw several tiny minnows swimming their way through just riding that flawless wave with her.

She rides the wave until it flattens with a somewhat noisy crash. Without the liquid roar of the wave she can hear them whooping and hollering something grand from the shoreline. She guides the surfboard to a halt and then allows it to pop out from under her feet. She catches it and, overcome by jubilation and a sense of accomplishment, she throws her arms around Jet.

Were TyLee involved she very well may have been jumping up and down. Instead, he squeezes her tighter as she has a true laugh for the first time since Sokka had gone. “Nice, dude.” Ruon remarks. It is accented by a few final claps from Chan.

Her excitement waynes and her smile begins to fade when it dawns upon her that her arms should be around Sokka. That he should have been there to witness such a monumental moment in her not yet professional surfing career. She suddenly feels ashamed. Ashamed for smiling and having fun while he is still out there, lost and probably deprived of hope. She should be sad right now. She should be mourning.

She pulls out of the hug.

“Hey, I’m glad you finally hung out with us again.” Chan notes as he bats his face with a towel.

She wraps her own around her waist and tosses her hair over her shoulders. “Yes, it was...nice to…” she trails off. “Get a sense of normalcy back.”

“You gonna swing by again?” He offers.

“We’ll be riding waves from noon to three, two days from now.” Ruon adds.

Azula nods. “I’ll try to make it, so long as nothing comes up.” Evidently that day will be a busy one. She, Zuko, and Katara are due to go roller skating with Toph and Aang around sunset.

She supposes that she should be thankful for the abundance of distractions. Which might be exactly what made it so easy to accept another invitation. Between that and the creeping knowledge that she could end up alone… Alone while Zuko has Katara, Aang has Toph, Mai has TyLee, Chan and Ruon have each other, and Suki has a shy boy named Teo.

She watches Chan and Ruon make their way down the beach. “We’ll be seein’ ya then.” Ruon calls back. Chan slings his arm over his shoulder.

“Yes.” Azula agrees. “Two days from now.” With their departure she feels her energy fleeing as well. It is so sudden as though all of her euphoria has turned to sorrow. She finds herself a picnic bench and sits upon the table, elbows resting on her knees, head in her hands.

The sun blazes as it begins its descent.

“You good?” Jet asks.

She shrugs quietly. “I’ll be fine.” Another blatant lie.

They sit in silence for a while she hears the crinkle of a wrapper as Jet awkwardly fumbles with a candy bar. “Want a bite.”

“No thanks.”

More silence. More awkward fumbling.

“Hey, so, I was thinking…” He trails off.

“Yeah?”

“I hope it’s not too soon, but I was wondering if you might like to catch a movie or something? Or have dinner somewhere?”

Azula bites the inside of her lip. She has never broken it off with Sokka. She has never wanted to. And yet there is that nagging in her head, that inkling that he won’t be coming home. And if she waits she might be waiting forever.

She thinks of Zuko’s soft smile and those dumb sloppy kisses he gives Katara. She thinks about the closeness and the laughter. About what that had been like when she’d got to feel it for herself. When she would spend the night at Sokka’s and he would fight with her for the blankets and the popcorn bowl during movie nights. There is such an emptiness without it. Without those feelings and those moments. She stares intensely at her hands, fighting to keep her emotions in check. “Yes Jet, that would be nice.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Sokka #Sokkla #Zuko #Jet #Chan #Ruon-Jian #Fanfiction

[bastillewolf]

The Grand Tranquility Hotel (IV)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: An eccentric hotel owner and an inquisitive writer find solace in each other when they both seemed to be at the edge of rock bottom.

Notes: Continuous angst and drama, but I promise next chapter Alex will show some of his better side. Love you lots for the wonderful feedback!

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Chapter IV - Four Out Of Five

“Today is not just a day of celebration. It’s a day of gratitude. It’s a day where we realize our accomplishments were not only made by ourselves, but through the support of the people around us. When I built this hotel, I vowed to each of my guests that they would always have a room here, that they could place their trust in me. And in turn, I placed my trust in them. Without you, my guests, my friends, my family, I wouldn’t have been able to host this gathering. Because of you, this hotel got an exceptional rating that made not only our staff proud, but the entire country.”

There was a round of applause echoing through the large room, while a few local reporters took the moment to snap a few pictures. It quieted down again when Alex cleared his throat and raised his hand.

“I especially wanted to thank someone in particular. She is unfortunately no longer with us, but we will always remember her as one of our most esteemed guests who visited this hotel since it first opened. She’d written me a personal letter saying she had this wonderful young man who was very willing to come and work for me, who I now see as one of my most trusted employees. I am so grateful to have known her and am honoured to have her daughter remembering her amongst us tonight.”

He raised his glass, along with everyone else in the room, and held a toast to her mother’s name. All she could do was play along with a frown. Alex Turner was not the man she’d expected him to be. It all felt very forced.

“This hotel… It might hibernate from time to time, sink back into the swamp. I think the cyclical nature of the universe in which it exists demands that acquiesce to some of its rules. But we’re always waiting there, just around the corner, ready to make our way back through the sludge and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Have a nice night, cheers.”

The last part of his speech seemed oddly specific and she could tell it was a pointed remark. She just wasn’t sure who it was directed towards. Turner didn’t wait for the second round of applause to get off the stage, instead opting to immediately grab a flute of champagne from a tray one of the waiters was holding. “He can be so dramatic sometimes,” someone to her right chuckled.

Glancing over, her eyes found the face of a man she’d probably describe to have the most British face ever. Not unattractive in any way, his hair cut short and his hazel eyes locking hers in a warm and kind-hearted sort of embrace that made her feel immediately at ease. “You’re Miles Kane,” she blurted out. He smiled, “Correct. And you must be the ‘honoured’ guest I’ve been hearing so much about.”

“Only good things, I hope,” she said with a strained chuckle. “Only good things,” he winked. The corners of her mouth quirked up. She now understood why people chose him to be mayor, even if it was only because of his charisma. “I presume you already knew about the hotel review as well?” she continued curiously. He nodded, “They asked me to give a bit of a statement for the papers. Alex told me beforehand, though.” She hummed in interest, while her thoughts wandered back to that morning where she’d only then found out about the cause of the night’s celebration.

She’d casually strolled into the dining hall where most tables had either been removed or pushed against the walls of the room. At the back, the big stage had been cleared out and now only held a microphone and a few chairs. “You look happy today,” she commented, taking a seat at their usual spot. Matt looked up at her, silently sipping his coffee as he slid a newspaper towards her.

‘The Grand Tranquility Hotel was well reviewed; rated an exemplary four stars out of five. Mayor Kane states his joy, proclaiming “it’s unheard of.”’

She smiled, “That’s fantastic! Congratulations, Matthew.” Matt waved his hand bashfully at her. “So, that’s what the whole ‘gathering’ is about. Did you already know about all of this?” “I did,” he answered, “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, miss. Mister Turner was pretty set on keeping things private until everything was set to go.” “That’s quite alright,” she replied. However, deep down she knew the predominant reason why no one had told her, thinking back to the argument she’d had with the hotel owner just the night before. They didn’t trust her, no matter how kind they were being.

“Speaking of, how are the preparations getting along?” she wondered. Matt sighed and set his fork which was still piercing a heaping amount of eggs back down on his plate. “In all honesty, miss, there’s still so much that has to be done. Nick is out looking for more temporary personnel after some cancelled at the last minute, Jamie’s preparing everything in the kitchen and you already know what kind of chaos it’s like when he’s stressed and I’m just making a list of the things I still need to figure out before the gathering. We’re not used to doing this sort of thing with a limited amount of staff, so we’re all a bit disconcerted.”

She glanced down at the notepad he had been scribbling on. “Then allow me to help. I might not be an expert party planner, but half of the things you’ve mentioned on there I can manage.” Matt shook his head, but before he could protest, she shot him a strict look. “Look, I’m offering you my services here, like you offered yours. I won’t tell mister Turner a thing and if he does find out for some reason, I’ll just tell him I was helping a friend out.” He smiled at that. “Alright then,” he finally agreed, “But you’ll have to promise me Alex doesn’t notice anything.”

And with that, she spent the afternoon moving furniture, decorating, dusting, vacuuming, tidying and all the works. She’d even aided Jamie after he’d had a breakdown over accidentally burning the cake that was sitting in the smoking oven. Using one of her mother’s trusted recipes, she’d baked him a new one that had tiers, icing and everything while he continued working on the appetizers. It resulted in him spinning her around and giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

She glanced over where her creation now stood proud and tall on a pedestal. Well, proud and tall with heaping chunks missing from it. “Jamie really outdid himself this time,” Miles commented, taking a bite of the sponge on his plate, “This cake is the best I’ve ever had.” She didn’t argue with him, because she felt Jamie deserved more credit for his work. Even if it wasn’t exactly his.

Her eyes roamed over the assorted crowd. They were what she’d expected them to be; stereotypically ritzy and exuding money. She wondered if that’s why Matt, Nick and Jamie were so adamant on letting her know she was too kind to them, because all other folks they had to deal with were like these. They weren’t the type of people to have a normal chat. Oh no, these were the personas who whispered and were opinionated about everything. When you’re so filthy rich you only hang out with the wealthy who are as impeccable as you, all forms of judgement you’ve got left is directed nit-picking and slanderous gossip.

She heard people comment on her dress, hair, makeup, she could name it all. But none who reported it directly to her. It was just loud enough so she would think it was a whisper and she wouldn’t be sure who it was from.

It was while wandering around when she finally heard comments that weren’t being made about her, but about something that most definitely interested her.

She reached for a glass from a waiter and smiled to him in thanks as she casually pretended to look for someone in the crowd while her ears picked up the conversation happening behind her.

“You know what I think?” A woman muttered, “I think this whole night is just a charity cause. He’s trying to petty us into giving him funds so he can continue his bland excuse of a hotel.” Another man  joined in, “I don’t think that’s true. Did you hear his speech? He’s trying to cover up the fact he’s going bankrupt. His little act of intimidation was rather mournful, though.”

“He’s trying to cover up a lot of things, from what I’ve heard,” the same woman stated as a matter-of-factly. She let a short, yet effective pause draw out to spark their interest, before she continued. “A little birdie told me that the poor fellow got his heart broken. Got addicted to gambling because of it, lost all his funding and then some in one night.” They gasped dramatically, and she’d heard enough.

Like the person who had been observing her from across the room, had seen enough.

She came across Matt as she moved towards the exit, who gave her a questioning look, to which she simply responded that she was tired from everything the day had brought her. “I understand, ma’am,” he said, before he gave a small smile, “I can’t explain how grateful I am-“ “Don’t worry,” she interrupted him, “Like I said, I was just helping out a friend.” She gave his arm a kind squeeze.

He called after her, “Oh, if you see Alex, tell him I’m looking for him! I’ve been finding too many empty glasses where I’ve seen him.”

As she closed the door of the hall behind her, a wave of silence washed over her like a cold breeze. She had a headache and she was sure it wasn’t because of the champagne. A walk would do her some good.

It was as if her feet had known what she was thinking, because she found herself in front of the picture with her mother in it. She actually found some of the faces to be familiar now, probably through having passed them during the party. Her eyes moved back to inspect the man between Matt and Jamie. It was a gut feeling that told her she should find out more about this particular person.

She heard the shuffling of feet beside her, but she’d half-expected the noise so she didn’t even flinch. “Got enough material for your book?” He slurred.

She blinked at Alex, the little respect she’d held for him slowly but surely dripping away like water from a tap that’s been leaking. “How could I have enough material when you won’t even tell me anything about your bloody hotel?” she shot back.

He scoffed, leaning against the wall. He clearly wasn’t sober enough to keep his balance. “You don’t need me to find out about all the details now, do you? You’ve clearly been making your own assumptions through the stories from my loyal guests.”

She raised her brows in surprise as she took a daring step towards him. “Have you been spying on me?”

“Being able to observe people is a real writer’s trait, is it not? Always keen on finding the truth, even when it’s been covered by decades of dust and grime. It’s what makes for a good book.” He pushed himself forward until he was directly in front of her. He smelled like cigarettes and expensive whiskey. “The only thing you’ve done so far is brush the surface of that grave. You’re just another cheap journalist looking for a good story to get your job back.”

His words stung and before she knew it, so did her hand.

She really hadn’t meant to slap him. She wasn’t one to slap people. Yet, it had been her body’s first instinct. It was as if a gravitational force had pulled her palm to his cheek in a very violent way. She could’ve just held his face for all she knew, if it hadn’t been for the anger rushing through her in that particular moment, inducing her decision-making to be more erratic.

He almost didn’t seem fazed at all. He just looked at her. And in the flicker of a moment, she thought she’d seen an ounce of remorse in his eyes. It was right before they turned stone cold again.

“Leave,” he hissed. She was at a loss for words. When he got no response, he audibly made his request clearer. “Leave. You’ll pack your things. And you’ll be leaving, tonight.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” a voice proclaimed from behind him. She turned to look at Matthew, who was joined by Jamie and a distressed-looking Nick. Miles stepped out from the hall as well, closing the doors behind him to give them some form of privacy.

“Our guest has decided to shorten her stay with us,” Alex stated, his eyes not leaving hers, “If you could take her to the train station in a bit, Matthew.”

“The hour is late, Alex. There won’t be a train till morning,” Matt simply replied. “Then you can drive her all the way back home, if you must,” Alex snarled, while running a hand through his dark hair.

“I’m sorry, Alex. But she’s staying.”

Matt didn’t hold his usual backtalk. It seemed he was more tired and disappointed than angry. When Alex realized none of his friends were going to take his side, - not even Miles made a comment - he stormed back into the dining hall and slammed the door. She could distantly hear him yelling, telling everyone the party’s over. When he was done and people started shuffling out, he disappeared around a corner.

She noticed Matt’s jaw clench as Miles let out a deep sigh. “I think it’s best if I stay around for a while,” he simply said. As Nick led him to the front desk to hand him a key, Matt placed an arm around her shoulder while his eyes remained directed towards the same hallway Alex had drunkenly stumbled off through. “Come on, miss. Let’s get you back to your room. It’s been a long night.”

#Alex Turner x reader #Arctic Monkeys #tbhc #The Last Shadow Puppets #TLSP #AM #Wpsiatwin #Matt Helders #Jamie Cook #Nick O'Malley #Miles Kane #Reader Insert #Fanfiction #Romance #Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

[thelazyhermits]

A Strong Determination

Once again, I come bearing a drabble featuring a lovely lady from 1-A. It’s a little shorter than the last one, but I hope y’all will enjoy it! ^^

This drabble takes place between chapters 37 and 38 of TABF.

About a week after Class 1-A starts training to develop their super moves for the provisional license exam, you get an unexpected request from one of your students.

“Y/N-sensei!”

At the sound of Hagakure’s shout, you turn to see the invisible girl, clad in her hero costume, running toward you. You tilt your head curiously when she comes to a stop before you. “What’s up, Hagakure? You need me for something?”

Thanks to the visor she’s wearing, you can see how eagerly she’s nodding her head at your question. “Will you help me improve my hand-to-hand combat skills?!”

While the other teachers watch the proceedings with either curiosity or amusement, you just blink, so surprised that you need a second before you can properly respond. “Uhhh, sure? But, aren’t you practicing your super moves now? Or, are you wanting to incorporate hand-to-hand combat into a super move?”

She shakes her head. “That’s not it. It’s true I’m working on my super moves, but I don’t want to do just that to prepare for the provisional license exam.”

Her hands clench into fists as she holds them up in a determined pose. “Whenever you train with one of us, you always like to focus on fighting without Quirks. You always say it’s important not to rely on just our Quirks and to have lots of skills under our sleeves. I never really gave that much thought about it until you said that, but I realized you were right.”

As you stare at her with surprise, Hagakure continues, “After all, my Quirk won’t be able to help me against everyone. What if I have to fight someone who has a Quirk that gives them thermal vision or someone with a super sense of smell? Or, what if they have a bat Quirk that allows them to use echolocation? My Quirk can’t hide me from that!”

Your expression turns amused as she starts energetically waving her arms as she talks. “You’ve given this a lot of thought, haven’t you?”

Hagakure nods, “After hearing you say how it’s important not to rely solely on our Quirks, I started thinking about what I’d do if I was in a situation where I couldn’t rely on my Quirk. Once I realized that I didn’t have any aces up my sleeves to handle a situation like that, I decided that I needed some. That’s why I want to start off by improving my hand-to-hand combat skills.”

The invisible girl sighs, “All this time, I’ve relied on just my invisibility for my fights, trusting that my punches will always land since they can’t be seen. I thought I’d be fine just knowing how to punch, so I never tried to actually learn proper martial arts. And, I never considered how to guard against an attack ‘cause I thought I would never need to.”

She raises a clenched fist and starts shaking it in the air. “But, that ends today! I wanna become stronger! So strong that it won’t matter if they can see me ‘cause I’ll still come out on top!”

To think, your words had such a strong impact on the invisible girl. You never expected your students to take your words to heart like she did, but it makes you really happy to hear that her desire to further improve her skill set is a result of something you said.

A warm smile forms on your lips as you move to pat her head. “In that case, I’d be more than happy to help you out.”

While she cheers at the news, you chance a glance at the other teachers and see an amused Aizawa and Ectoplasm watching while Midnight and Yagi are giving you a thumbs up. An amused huff passes your lips as you motion for Hagakure to follow you to an open area far enough away from the rest of the students that you won’t have to worry about getting accidentally hit by a stray attack.

As the two of you are walking, you ask, “So, what made you wanna ask me instead of one of the other teachers? I’m not exactly an expert at fighting, you know.”

Even after finding out about your past, you still feel that way about yourself since you have a strong feeling that you didn’t win your cage matches just because you were the superior fighter. Of course, you have no proof to support your theory since you can’t really remember a lot about those days thanks to your amnesia, but even so, you really do think your hunch is right. 

Your student’s voice draws you out of your thoughts. “I did think about asking Aizawa-sensei, but after I remembered how much fun Ojiro-kun, Tokoyami-kun, and Kirishima-kun had sparring with you and how they learned so much from those spars, I really wanted to try training with you. I think I could learn a lot from you, Sensei!”

Warmth bubbles in your chest at her words. You never expected to be sought out by a student for this kind of help when other more efficient teachers were available, so it’s really surreal, hearing that Hagakure chose you, of all people, to ask for help with her training.

Of course, it also makes you incredibly happy. There’s nothing you love more than being relied on by your students, so you’re more than willing to lend a hand to help them in their pursuits to become the next generation of amazing heroes. 

Smiling, you sling an arm across the shorter girl’s shoulders and give her a quick side hug. “I’ll work hard to meet those expectations of yours, Hagakure. I’ll do my best to make sure you’re ready for whatever the exam throws your way.”

There’s a noticeable bounce to her step, revealing how excited she is. “I’ll work hard too, Sensei! I wanna learn as much as I can, so I’ll be ready for anything!”

Not long after that, you both arrive at a suitable practice area, and you and Hagakure start stretching. Once that’s done, you begin the lesson by working on her fighting stance and making little corrections here and there.

It’s a really good thing that Hagakure got a proper hero costume since it would definitely have been harder to teach her if all you could see were her hands and feet. Thanks to her new costume, you can get a proper read of her stance to see what areas need improvement.

After you’re sure there’s nothing else to worry about as far as her stance is concerned, you start showing her the moves Aizawa taught you, figuring that working on her self defense skills first is the way to go. Since sparring helped Monoma a lot with getting the hang of things, you eventually start doing that with Hagakure.

Just like your spars with Monoma, you don’t have much difficulty defeating Hagakure. While she does have hand-to-hand combat experience, just as she told you earlier, the invisible girl has always relied on the element of surprise provided by her Quirk when using hand-to-hand combat, so she’s not used to opponents being able to dodge her attacks nor does she have experience with facing counterattacks. 

So, it’s not surprising that she’d be at a disadvantage in this situation since you can clearly see where her attacks are coming from because you instructed her to keep her costume visible for the duration of the training session. As a result, your student is definitely in unfamiliar territory right now.

Yet, despite this, Hagakure remains as energetic as ever, never appearing disappointed about her losses. Rather, you’d say she becomes more determined after each spar. You can tell she’s really trying her best to get the hang of things and improve herself.

Seeing your student working so hard, you can’t help but feel proud of her. Just from watching her, it’s obvious how determined she is to accomplish her dreams and become a hero. 

Hagakure really is a strong girl. Because you know that, you have no worries about her future. She will definitely become an amazing hero.

And, you’ll be supporting her all the way. After all, that’s what teachers are for.

#TABF #TABF missing scene #hagakure tooru #I feel like hagakure is the girl we know the least about #as far as Class 1-A is concerned #which really sucks #cause I wanna learn more about her #according to an omake #her parents are also invisible which I find hilarious #I wonder how they met #my writing