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hanadolphieron · 3 years

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twice and the ceres asteriod~

ceres is all about food, nurturing, family relationships, animals, time-sharing, grief, and transitions/growth experiences in a woman’s life.

taurus-

dahyun;

growth for dahyun appears when she has built a steady foundation. comfort and security are essential for her, but because of the synastry between her aries sun and taurus ceres, it can be hard for her to feel comfortable achieving it. she may unconsciously sabotage herself because she feels like she has to be strong and impulsive. her personality is fast-paced and energetic, but it tends to wear her out. reassurance is needed to be feel safe letting others take care of her.

physical affection is an important way of relaxation for dahyun. hugs are much appreciated. comfort food is a great way to calm her down. sustenance in general is needed, dahyun can not function if she doesn’t have a high enough blood sugar level. nerves begin to take over if she feels hungry. needs to feel completely secure to fully relax. can’t have anything hanging over her or she won’t be able to slow down. might keep working and working until she drops if she feels she doesn’t have financial stability.

nurturing others comes naturally however. dahyun is a solid presence and can calm people down with just a small touch. her hugs are the softest. seems reliable no matter what she’s going through. because of taurus’s ruling planet, venus, dahyun seems extra loving when she comforts others. people might take her physical touch in a romantic way sometimes.

gemini-

chaeyoung;

calming down for chaeyoung means having fun. letting go of all her nerves and fears is like a spa treatment for her. friends are important. she somehow feels extremely relaxed while taking in masses of information. is constantly on the move. her preferred aesthetic is tied to her comfort. she likes the idea of being free to do whatever she wants and have whatever moods she wants.

however, like dahyun, her taurus sun can restrict this vibe. she feels as if the free-spirited persona that she feels most relaxed in clashes with her true self. it can seem time-consuming and exhausting to let go of nerves and fears, yet that’s what her taurus self is constantly trying to do. can sometimes let her fears control her because that seems like the easier option, the one with less drama.

please hug her! chaeyoung loves people that come barreling towards her and absolutely attack her with love. nurtures others by hanging out with them and creating a fun, healthy atmosphere. can seem boundary-less at times, but she’s probably panicking inwardly i don’t make the rules. might randomly talk about trauma/issues that she has and then either forget about it or pretend it never happened. speaking up is a good way for her to release negative/draining emotions and it helps her become more confident.

cancer-

tzuyu;

mom material at its finest. tzuyu is a natural at making people feel safe and happy. is always there as a shoulder to cry on and people feel safe relying on her. she does protect herself from relying on others however, and prefers to be the nurturer rather than the on being nurtured. loves the idea of taking care of others and being of service comes naturally. loves kids and wants to help them grow and become the best versions of themselves.

growth happens when tzuyu utilizes her divine feminine energy. being aggressive and impulsive does not help her. growth comes from learning from quick decisions that didn’t end well and learning to slow down and think before acting. however, she doesn’t seem to struggle much with this; she seems to be pretty evolved.

in tzuyu’s opinion, being nurtured by someone means letting out her emotions to the person and them validating her feelings and empathizing with her. she wants to be around people that understand her without her having to explicitly tell them her feelings. observing tzuyu and learning her coping mechanisms is the best way to make her feel loved. prefers to deal with issues on her own or talk to very close loved ones.

libra-

nayeon;

nayeon feels comforted by connecting with others and creating partnerships. having people by her side makes her feel safe. ice cream and other confections are therapy for nayeon. friends are important for her mental and emotional health. having a significant other is beneficial as well. not becoming lost in her inner self and staying on the surface is one of her coping mechanisms. doesn’t like to take deep, messy dives into her emotions.

she is incredibly nurturing (such a great unnie) by nature and her way of comforting others is lovely; lots of people are attracted by her motherly qualities. uses her words as a way to help others. possible issues could be that her help and nurturing is romanticized and can be made shallow. people could take advantage of her caring nature easily, as she finds it hard to say no to people in need.

nayeon improves the most when she is “aesthetic.” anything that is pleasing to feel/do is the right path for nayeon. helping out others and being of service in a strong way is going to keep her on the right track. righting injustices is part of her destiny. perfection is always an ideal that’s in mind for nayeon.

sagittarius-

jeongyeon and momo;

these two release stress by sweating it out. activity clears their mind and stops negative thoughts. they tend to run from their problems at times or procrastinate doing hard work because it can seem overwhelming. not having an escape is what bothers them. however, since they’re both scorpios, this aspect of a sagittarius ceres is restricted and not as apparent.

having ceres in the same sign as pluto can cause some karma. momo and jeongyeon might have serious issues slowing down and growing boundlessly at the same time. can keep pushing to achieve something they don’t truly find appealing, especially with the aspect between scorpio sun and sagittarius ceres.

jeongyeon tends to protect her healing from the world, but a lot of it seeps to the surface and is noticeable to others. her cancer moon makes her want to feel protected and have a safe space to conceal herself, but her sagittarrius ceres is like run! now! get away from boundaries of all kinds! this can create a deep-running sense of confusion surrounding her knowledge of herself. shadow work could help her a lot.

momo’s growth is centered around broad dreams and aspirations. she is a neptune decan scorpio, which can help the tension between her ceres sign and sun sign. it’s easier for her to look at growing and improving herself from a detached but extremely emotional level. listening to music is huge for her, and can help her figure herself out. also freestyle dancing! is very natural for her and she feels powerful and very “momo” when she does it.

capricorn-

sana;

good for sana, her ceres sign conjuncts her sun sign, a favorable combination due to the similarities and connection between herself and her relationship with the material world and emotional growth. she needs relaxation and comfort for her well-being and for her personality to shine through accurately. however, this isn’t too hard for her, as the life that she wants to lead is in line with the life that energizes her the most.

sana feels comforted by constructive criticism or a healthy pushing and motivation that keeps her on track but is also sensitive to her moods. her leo moon and virgo mars can make her irritated by others being overly critical or disinterested in her struggles, but loved ones that know her well and can give her support is appreciated. it’s hard to explain, but sana just wants someone who will leave her alone to fix problems herself, but who can give her advice (only if she wants it!) and can empathize without pitying her.

sana comforts others the same way. she may have a tendency to end up being more self-focused when sympathizing with others and likes to share her experiences. might be aware of it, might not, it depends. she doesn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just natural for her to include herself in these sorts of conversations and give advice. capricorn in ceres individuals might seem almost aloof at first, if you don’t know them, but once you’ve become close to them you can see through them and their motives easily. i find capricorns tend to be misunderstood a lot, as they have a lot going on, but you just have to guess? i don’t know. they’re hard to explain but you just know.

aquarius-

jihyo and mina;

jihyo and mina are destined to experience epiphanies related to self-discovery and individuality consistently throughout their life. they’re perpetually living in a state of learning. working in groups is the best way for them to improve upon themselves. helping others and being of service to the community inspires them. looking into topics that aren’t mainstream are a good way to attract growth too. they might mature backwards or have an up-and-down process of experiencing emotions.

jihyo may feel misunderstood at times. her way of relaxing is different than others and she may feel as if her moods vary too much from the moods of others. as i said in the first paragraph for this section, jihyo matures at a weird consistency. comfort comes from feeling like she belongs, but is still her own person. needs to be “noticed” but still feel like the underdog? confusing i know. wants to feel needed. being the leader of twice is incredibly beneficial to her health:)

mina can feel lost in terms of comfort. she may not need as much alone time as others, and feels more energized around groups of people, but finds it also wears her out because of the way her energy levels and moods fluctuate. so i take back what i said, she does need alone time. like a balance. but she struggles to maintain that balance. like jihyo, mina needs to feel needed. humanitarian activities and helping the community is good for her emotional stability.

both comfort others by making them feel important. tends to do well in teaching positions and as a mentor. extremely good leaders! they are comforting and know the people around them incredibly well without even realizing it. sympathizing is not exactly their strong point most of the time, they might seem too cold because they don’t want to pity the person, but they do know how to collectively energize a bunch of people and make them feel safe and relaxed.

#twice #im nayeon #yoo jeongyeon #hirai momo #minatozaki sana #park jihyo #myoui mina #kim dahyun #son chaeyoung #chou tzuyu #twice astrology #twice reactions #twice imagines #twice fluff #posts #alcyone

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 5 years

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Minor EoA character zodiacs

So I decided to go ahead and try some of the zodiac signs for EoA characters. But I really liked @pizzansunshine‘‘s argument for the main six’s Possible zodiac signs so I decided to do minor reoccurring characters. Which was pretty hard I’ll admit. The zodiac signs can be overlapping so you can agree to disagree with what I think is the best fit for the characters. Anyway, enough of my babbling, here’s what I have. https://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com

Luisa Libra

Strengths: Cooperative, diplomatic, gracious, fair-minded, social

Weaknesses: Indecisive, avoids confrontations, will carry a grudge, self-pity

Libra likes: Harmony, gentleness, sharing with others, the outdoors

Libra dislikes: Violence, injustice, loudmouths, conformity

People born under the sign of Libra are peaceful, fair, and they hate being alone. As we see, Luisa is a very sociable person from being friends with the palace staff to joining the local Olaball team. She’s like an understanding Abuela to everyone she meets.

Partnership is very important for them, as their mirror and someone giving them the ability to be the mirror themselves. Francisco and Luisa have the sweetest, closest relationship in the series. They are equal partners with respect, trust and love for each other.

These individuals are fascinated by balance and symmetry, they are in a constant chase for justice and equality, realizing through life that the only thing that should be truly important to themselves in their own inner core of personality. Luisa stands firm to following her heart and her beliefs and the Abuela-bear claws come out when she faces someone who is a lying, cheating jerk. Lord Elrod from Princess Knight for example.

Francisco Pisces

Strengths: Compassionate, artistic, intuitive, gentle, wise, musical

Weaknesses: Fearful, overly trusting, sad, desire to escape reality, can be a victim or a martyr

Pisces likes: Being alone, sleeping, music, romance, visual media, swimming, spiritual themes

Pisces dislikes: Know-it-all, being criticized, the past coming back to haunt, cruelty of any kind

It’s a sign connected to music, so Pisces reveal music preferences in the earliest stages of life. They are generous, compassionate and extremely faithful and caring. Pisces are never judgmental and always forgiving. They are also known to be most tolerant of all the zodiac signs. I don’t have to say this but I willl, Francisco’s eternal love is music and we have seen that he is such a kind man when it comes to looking at both sides of a problem and never gives an unasked for judgement.

Deep in their hearts, they are incorrigible romantics. They are very loyal, gentle and unconditionally generous to their partners. Pisces are passionate lovers who have a need to feel a real connection. Like I said with Luisa, the two show an absolute loyalty and devotion to each other. It’s clear Francisco only has eyes for his wife.

Inspired by the need to make changes in the lives of others, they are willing to help even if that means to go beyond the boundaries. This zodiac sign is compassionate, hard-working, dedicated and reliable. Pisces are selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back. As we learned in the last Día de los Muertos episode, Francisco was a secret vigilante at a time when nobles weren’t allowed to be in danger just for the sake of protecting his kingdom.

Prince Marzel and Princess Marisa Gemini

Strengths: Gentle, affectionate, curious, adaptable, ability to learn quickly and exchange ideas

Weaknesses: Nervous, inconsistent, indecisive

Gemini likes: Music, books, magazines, chats with nearly anyone, short trips around the town

Gemini dislikes: Being alone, being confined, repetition and routine

Expressive and quick-witted, Gemini’s are sociable, communicative and ready for fun, with a tendency to suddenly get serious, thoughtful and restless. They are fascinated with the world itself, extremely curious, with a constant feeling that there is not enough time to experience everything they want to see.This is a versatile, inquisitive, fun loving sign, born with a wish to experience everything there is out there, in the world. I swear I didn’t just choose Gemini because they were twins. Marisa and Marzel, Marisa specifically, were interested in looking to the human world and were the most willing to mend the fued. Since the joining, the two clearly enjoy hanging out with Elena and co. and learning a little more about life of the shore.

Daria Scorpio

Strengths: Resourceful, brave, passionate, stubborn, a true friend

Weaknesses: Distrusting, secretive, violent

Scorpio likes: Truth, facts, being right, longtime friends, teasing, a grand passion

Scorpio dislikes: Dishonesty, revealing secrets, passive people

Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness. As we’ve seen as commander of the reef, Daria is a take-charge woman and when she puts her mind to it whether it is sabotage or protection, she puts her whole effort into it,

Scorpios are known by their calm and cool behavior, and by their mysterious appearance. People often say that Scorpio-born are fierce. They are excellent leaders because they are very dedicated to what they do. Scorpios hate dishonesty and they can be very jealous and suspicious, so they need to learn how to adapt more easily to different human behaviors. What motivated Daria’s actions in Tides of Change was that she wanted to protect Coronando from the human threat so you can say that is dedication to her work though misguided. Plus we see how Daria is not one to quickly spell out her thoughts, preferring stern glares like when Elena arrived unexpectedly at the palace. Also the grudge she held against humans even when Elena proved that they weren’t out to get them but wanted to be friends.

Princess Valentina Aries

Strengths: Courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate

Weaknesses: Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive

Aries likes: Comfortable clothes, taking on leadership roles, physical challenges, individual sports

Aries dislikes: Inactivity, delays, work that does not use one's talents

Aries are continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition, always being the first in everything - from work to social gatherings. You'll rarely meet an Aries who isn't capable of finishing several things at once, often before lunch break! Valentina is a fire sign, and as the website suggests, she does look for a competition even if it was really unneeded. Yet Valentina just has a natural exuberant personality and need for action. And as we’ve seen, she has many talents from Olaball to wizardry so she is constantly on the job working for her people. No wonder they call her their savior.

Rafa de Alva Taurus

Strengths: Reliable, patient, practical, devoted, responsible, stable

Weaknesses: Stubborn, possessive, uncompromising

Taurus likes: Gardening, cooking, music, romance, working with hands

Taurus dislikes: Sudden changes, complications, insecurity of any kind, synthetic fabrics

Practical and well-grounded, Taurus is the sign that harvests the fruits of labor. They feel the need to always be surrounded by love and beauty, turned to the material world, hedonism, and physical pleasures. What we often see as stubbornness can be interpreted as commitment, and their ability to complete tasks whatever it takes is uncanny. This makes them excellent employees, great long-term friends and partners, always being there for people they love. Rafa can be stubborn like when she was insistent that she couldn’t help Sofia or that her Navidad traditions were the best or even just passing Avaloran traditions to Mateo under the threat of death. But she is also a very caring individual and a natural leader for her village, and a stable, loving influence in Mateo’s life. And to me, she seems very much a homebody who’d enjoy gardening and the like. Perhaps herbs for magic potions like her father had taught her.

Carla and Prince Alonso Leo

Strengths: Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous

Weaknesses: Arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible

Leo likes: Taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colors, fun with friends

Leo dislikes: Being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen

Leos are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their "king of the jungle" status. Self-confident and attractive, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier. They are ambitious, creative and optimistic and once they dedicate to their work, they will do everything just right. As we’ve seen that while both are initially very lazy people, Alonso and Carla can be committed to a cause when they put their mind to it. Alonso as he starts to reinvent himself as a better prince while Carla won’t let ghosts or Shuriki or Elena or anyone in her way on her quest for power. And while neither are very joking, both are comedic characters,

Family matters won't be the first thing Leo will think about when they wake up in the morning or lie to bed at night. Turned to themselves for the most part, they tend to become independent as soon as possible. Still, a Leo will do anything to protect their loved ones, proud of their ancestry and roots in good and bad times. As we’ve seen, both are independent but Alonso does have a need to make his dad proud while Carla does care enough about her father to keep following him around and has some sort of admiration for her mother.

The best possible situation they can find themselves in is to be their own bosses or manage others with as little control from their superiors as possible. Leos love to be surrounded by modern and trendy things, and although money comes easy to them, they spend it less responsibly than some other signs of the zodiac. Eh less responsible can be the first thing one thinks of when it comes to Alonso and Carla, for sure. And a love of luxury too. And we have seen that Carla really really hates when people tell her what to do so she is just a Leo to the core to me.

Olivia Aquarius

Strengths: Progressive, original, independent, humanitarian

Weaknesses: Runs from emotional expression, temperamental

Aquarius likes: Fun with friends, helping others, fighting for causes, intellectual conversation

Aquarius dislikes: Limitations, being lonely, dull or boring situations

Aquarius-born are shy and quiet, but on the other hand they can be eccentric and energetic. However, in both cases, they are deep thinkers and highly intellectual people who love helping others. While Olivia is still growing and her personality still developing, I think she could be an Aquarius due to her energetic nature and her pursuit for wizard knowledge. Wizardry takes many years but she clearly has the devotion to studying time. She wanted to learn right away and without delay. Plus she wanted to do it for a good cause and to help people.

Doña Paloma Capricorn

Strengths: Responsible, disciplined, self-control, good managers

Weaknesses: Know-it-all, unforgiving, condescending, expecting the worst

Capricorn likes: Family, tradition, quality craftsmanship

Capricorn dislikes: Almost everything at some point

Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility, and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. These individuals possess an inner state of independence that enables significant progress both in their personal and professional lives. They are masters of self-control and have the ability to lead the way, make solid and realistic plans, and manage many people who work for them at any time. They will learn from their mistakes and get to the top based solely on their experience and expertise. Well I think this sums up her character pretty well as she implies with most episodes that she deserve everything based solely on her expertise and fits with how she made everything she had from the ground up.

Not only do they focus on the material world, but they have the ability to use the most out of it. Unfortunately, this element also makes them stiff and sometimes too stubborn to move from one perspective or point in a relationship. They have a hard time accepting differences of other people that are too far from their character, and out of fear might try to impose their traditional values aggressively. Kinda the whole plot point of Masks of Magic that she wanted the Feast of Friendship her way. More out of her own selfish ego than fear though.

Capricorns will set high standards for themselves, but their honesty, dedication and perseverance will lead them to their goals. They value loyalty and hard work over all other things, and keep associates with these qualities close even when they might be intellectually inferior. Concentrated and resourceful, this is someone who gets the job done, doesn’t mind long hours, and commits to the final product completely. Fits with how she and Esteban built up Avalor’s economic growth and also the only explanation to me on why she had hired Carlos (Sorry Carlos. Maybe you are smarter than I think).

Armando Virgo

Strengths: Loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical

Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self

Virgo likes: Animals, healthy food, books, nature, cleanliness

Virgo dislikes: Rudeness, asking for help, taking center stage

Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance. Virgos are excellent advisors, always knowing how to solve a problem. This can make them helpful and extremely useful to have around, but also brings out their need to search the problem in everything and everyone around them. As chief of staff, Armando is the go to person for any problem as we see in All Kingdoms Fair and Model Sister- how handily he fixed everything. He’s very detailed and always has what Elena needs to do her royal duties. Also Virgos are sensitive and critical of themselves just as Armando is, amplified by Santos’ insults.

They will care for people they build a solid relationship with, treasuring them for years and nurturing them in every possible way. An intimate friendship with a Virgo is always earned by good deeds. They are very dedicated to their family and attentive to elderly and sick people. They understand tradition and the importance of responsibility, proud of their upbringing. Armando is such a mama’s boy and an abuela’s boy by how fondly he talks of his time with her in the village. He treats the royal family as his family too and we’ve seen his loyalty to them by reminding Esteban of his roots in Secret of Avalor to saving Elena/Mateo/Naomi/Gabe from chonopos.

Scarlet Turner Sagittarius

Strengths: Generous, idealistic, great sense of humor

Weaknesses: Promises more than can deliver, very impatient, will say anything no matter how undiplomatic

Sagittarius likes: Freedom, travel, philosophy, being outdoors

Curious and energetic, Sagittarius is one of the biggest travelers among all zodiac signs. Sagittarius is extrovert, optimistic and enthusiastic, and likes changes. Sagittarius-born are able to transform their thoughts into concrete actions and they will do anything to achieve their goals. Freedom is their greatest treasure, because only then they can freely travel and explore different cultures and philosophies. Scarlet loves the sea and traveling like she loves air and since she was so adaptable to moving around for work and enjoyed it so much, I think it makes her a perfect Sagittarius.

Because of their honesty, Sagittarius-born are often impatient and tactless when they need to say or do something, so it's important to learn to express themselves in a tolerant and socially acceptable way. Sagittarius is very fun and -born love to laugh and enjoy the diversity of life and culture, so they will easily acquire many friends around the world. They are generous and not one of those who lecture. When it comes to family, Sagittarius is dedicated and willing to do almost anything. In the beginning of Captain Turner Returns, you can say Scarlet was a bit tactless when she was sure that Naomi would get used to leaving Avalor and ignoring all of Elena’s attempts to get them to stay. Yet her family is very important to her like when she tried to get a job at home so she could stay with Daniel and Naomi more and eventually giving in to staying in Avalor.

Now a lot of this is my own speculation. Craig did say that Carla will be revealed to be more complex than she seems. It doesn’t seem like Victor will have the same treatment, but I think Carla’s development will reveal a little more of his character since he was the one who raised her and cares for her.

Victor Delgado Cancer

Strengths: Tenacious, highly imaginative, loyal, emotional, sympathetic, persuasive

Weaknesses: Moody, pessimistic, suspicious, manipulative, insecure

Cancers are very emotional and sensitive, and care deeply about matters of the family and their home. While this is a bit of a stretch, I say that Victor is a bit emotional such as his deep feeling of hurt at Esteban’s betrayal, and his anger towards the world.

Cancer is the sign of family and these individuals care about family bonds and their home more than any other sign of the zodiac. Also a stretch but just based on the fact that he is caring for Carla alone and she is the only one he treats with some decency and very unlikely for him to betray her.

Lack of patience or even love will manifest through mood swings later in life, and even selfishness, self-pity or manipulation. They are quick to help others, just as they are quick to avoid conflict, and rarely benefit from close combat of any kind, always choosing to hit someone stronger, bigger, or more powerful than they imagined. Oh yeah, if we follow this Victor defiantly did not get enough love growing up. He sees himself as a victim even though he committed treason, he is a manipulative thief to his former friend’s family and thinks he can play with the big guns of Shuriki and Fiero.

#zodiac signs #elena of avalor #long post #character analysis #prince alonso #princess valentina #victor delgado #carla delgado #luisa flores #francisco flores #armandk gutierrez #rafa de alva #scarlet turner #olivia #prince marzel #princess marisa #daria #doña paloma

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casskaykingston · 6 years

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over the edge of the cliff:

cass ; saturday, september the 23rd. 10 PM.

tw: horse accident, tw: verbal abuse

All things considered, it was a wonder that it took him this long to get to this point. For a man who wasn’t him, Cassidy Kay Kingston III, an advocate for his home, a good man in a storm, a beyond competent horse rider with a huge, bleeding heart of gold - for a man who wasn’t all that, this breakdown would’ve probably happened years ago. The giant spiderweb cracks in the foundation of his strength of will that had been chipped at and exacerbated by his fathers words were due give up the ghost and let him finally, finally fall. One by one, they’d been adding up over the years. The emotional abuse of his teen years, strained by the icy silence of his early to mid twenties, the earth rocking fight upon his return, the lectures and backhanded comments that fell on his back even now, had methodically hacked away at the strains of Cass’s sanity and well being. This most recent thing, with Amelia? Had only twisted the dagger his fathers words had been driving into his heart all this time, led him to a tipping point that the man himself could not see. After all, one is blind to the affairs of their own heart and the direction their lives are headed until it’s staring at you right in the face.

In that bar on that Saturday night, one would be hard pressed to find a man in there with an opinion of himself lower than the oldest Kingston’s was that night. No one there knew him, knew that the chaotic mess of his insides was a shaky tower that was precariously close to finally tumbling over. What they knew, what anyone who saw him knew, was that this was not a man to be messed with. To do so would be to court bodily harm. Cass sat in the farther corner he could, the only resident of a dimly lit booth with a couple of empty beer bottles on the table next to him. Black shirt, dark jeans, and a navy baseball cap pushed down to cover angry and lost blue eyes. The brim could not cover the slightly purpling areas under his eyes, the skin that under his natural glorious tan that was wan and closer to pale than it had ever been. You can only abuse your body for so long until the affects start to make themselves known, and as in denial about it as Cass was, everyone who saw him knew it. The story his shaggy hair and shaggier beard told was more telling than the one it didn’t. Running on perhaps five hours of sleep from the past three days, eyes strained from hours staring at a computer screen, knuckles from busted from sleepless nights beating the shit of his punching bag so often he had to purchase a new one. The day before he’d received an email from a prospective investor in the B & B who’d pulled out in deference to another offer they’d received - an offer from a restaurant in town whose owner CK was family friends with. How had later that night Cass received a phone call from a father whose critical words judged him for not making the ranch a good enough prospect? How could his fathers sabotage him, and then judge him for his failures to overcome that sabotage in the same day? Cass didn’t know. Couldn’t know. But it filled his heart with feelings of inadequacy and defeat that he’d recently given into.

A brush of a touch against his shoulder and Cass’s sharp blues shoot up, catching the sight of a woman with waist length black hair and a slim curvy figure, the dips in her body an invitation any man would eagerly accept. This one, however, felt a squeeze in his heart at her inviting smile, a betrayal of emotions when his dark side longed to answer her welcoming grin. That betrayal is what spun into fervor the fury he had at himself and his traitorous emotions, a heart that didn’t give a shit about the emotional turmoil he’d just gone through and was still pretty invested in Amy. Amelia Taylor, that brunette tornado who’d stepped with him into the eye of the storm for a while, a time short, too short, severed by the anniversary of a man she’d loved, lost, and still felt a twisted responsibility to. While on one hand, the bleeding half of his soul that believe in an eye for an eye gloried at the verbal assault he’d given her the last time they’d been together, poisoned darts that spread into each others souls, the other hand held the half of his soul mortified at his actions, at what he’d said. For someone trying to distance himself from his father, you sure are acting a lot like him, came the accusatory whisper from that being within, voicing a fear Cass would rather ignore. You still care about her. Still want her. What are you going to do about that?

What was he going to do about that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She’d made it clear her heart held no more room, and Cass deserved more than to be a second class citizen to a ghost. Or did he? Unlike the spectre that haunted Amy, Cass’s was alive and well, a malevolent presence in the shape of his father that spit words that he could call to mind at any moment. Worthless. Pathetic. A shitty excuse for a son. Suddenly, the desperate need to quiet that voice, hell any of the voices inside his head, fills him, and alcohol isn’t enough. He pushes out of the booth, stands. Makes a beeline for the woman who’d propositioned him with words he hadn’t fully heard. “You want me?” Cass demands, low and hard when he finds her just around the corners from the bathroom, surprise and then pleasure flooding her pupils. Her teeth find her lower lip as she nods, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders, and the blonde man has to shove the memories of the last women he’d held who had a tendency to bite her lips to the back of his mind. “Good.” The utterance is followed by a surge forward of his head, a rough meeting of his lips to hers in a move he’d never done before. Cass doesn’t do this. He doesn’t kiss strangers in bars, he doesn’t use them as a desperate attempt to drown his inner demons, and he certainly doesn’t do it before asking their name. Whether or not he doesn’t do it, the fact cannot be denied that he’s doing it right now - feeding hurt and anger into a bracing kiss that the woman he doesn’t now eagerly returns. While the mechanics are sound and the motions are familiar, Cass feels dirty. Downright filthy about the fact that no matter how strong the denial was that he wrapped his heart around, she wasn’t Amy. And he didn’t want this. The tall blonde jerks away in as broken a manner as he’d first surged forward, one big, shaky hand wiping at the back of his mouth. “I’m sorry.” He whispers to her, a regretful, apologetic sound that responds to her hurt eyes and pouting lips even as he slaps a twenty on the table and continues to back away.

The disgust at himself and his actions doesn’t leave his abused body even as he calls a car to get him home, the soul deep exhaustion in his body begging, pleading to get some rest as he places scuffed converse wearing feet back on the ranch grounds. Mind hazy from way too many late nights, overstressed limbs and brain, and a beer bottle too many, Cass follows his feet to where they take him, in this case the stables. Jazz, the black and white mustang filly already asleep, flicks an ear up at his footsteps and gives a quiet whicker that reaches Cass (and always will, if everyone was being honest. He’d raised the horse from birth, after all - she worshiped him and he adored her) even through his fog. “Hi beautiful,” he murmurs as he clumsily unlocks the door to her stall, big body folding down next to her. Jazz shakes her mane and lifts her head so it’s even with his in his seated position, brown eyes gazing at the blonde as he strokes her neck and mane, their foreheads pressed against each other. If all had gone well, this would have been how Cass ended his night. The morning sun and Jazz’s nudging would have awakened him the next day, plagued with a hangover and a heavy soul, and it wouldn’t have been the night he’d finally fallen off that cliff. His phone vibrates, an unnatural sound in the calm and nature of the barn, and he fishes it out of his pocket, slides the answer call button in a motion that goes a little too far off the edge of the screen. Cass presses it against his face, doesn’t look at the name. “H’llo?”

“Are you drunk?” CK, the man, the myth, the devil, accuses from the other end of the line. A flinch, physical and in his soul, manifests itself immediately in his son, a stilling of his palm on his favorite horses neck.

“Dad this - I’m off the clock. It’s a weekend.”

“The job never quits, son. Although I’m not surprised - every time I talk to you you seem to always be able to let me down, somehow. If you’re drunk, then so be it. Alcoholic or not, you need to hear this. If you don’t step up your game, actually start pretending to be a man and running this ranch the way it deserves, I’m taking it away from you.”

Cass didn’t just stop then, he jerked - paled, somehow even more, a wave of distress coming from him so strong that Jazz snorted in alarm. No - no - he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. It was his now. Mine. A building and business he’d poured his heart and soul into, his future. His birthright. “Dad,” the blonde tries, fails, attempts with another name. “Sir, don’t. I can handle this. I have been handling this, look at - look at the profit margins since I’ve been in charge, it’s increasing every year, the profile in the magazine -”

“I don’t give a damn about any of that. This place is in my name. As long as I have breath in my body, it’s my duty to take care of it. And if I have to remove you from it to do that, then I will. Don’t push me, boy. Because I will not hesitate. Do you hear me? No hesitation. None. I’d rather train someone else than allow you to keep tarnishing Kingston’s good name. So pull your shit together. Or you won’t have any.” A noise, an abrupt hanging up, and Cass is left alone in the stall with a worried horse and a very low sense of self preservation. His heart was beating so loud he could suddenly hear it, feel it stretch to the reaches of his body in a frenetic pace he couldn’t keep up with. The foundations shattered; bedrock crumbled; strings severed; and suddenly all he could do was think of getting away. He tacks up Jazz in a fugue state he won’t be able to remember days, weeks, years from now, walks her out of the barn and swings into the saddle with an ease someone of his mindset was only able to do with decades of practice. The filly, while a bit troubled by the frenetic emotions radiating from her so loved human and rider, was always down for a run, and could sense that Cass was too. Her hoofbeats were quick, nearly prancing with eagerness as he leaned down to open the gate to their largest, wildest field, one that only ended in the thick woods bordering their property. It was ideal for pretending there were no limits to the freedom it presented and a favorite of the blonde man and his horse, a location so familiar to Jazz that the moment Cass pulled it shut behind him she started moving. A lurch, a grasp of the reins and a hunkering down to be as close to her neck as possible, he placed his trust in his horse and prayed for the sounds of her gallops to drown out the demons in his head and heart.

For a moment, all was well. For a moment, it was two animals joined in one in the elegant motion, nearly flying over the ground as Jazz tried as hard as she could to almost fly. For a moment, the joy of the activity almost put him, if only momentarily, back together; before it all fell apart.

A fox, unexpected and caught mid flight home, appears in the horses view as a sudden red coated enemy, a thing of surprise that causes her to stop in her tracks so suddenly Cass can’t keep up. Loss of sleep, slight inebriation, and general exhaustion all work against the big man in teaming up of bad luck and he goes flying through the air, the last moment of consciousness he held before his head collided with a rock and it all went black.

The next occurrences Cassidy Kay Kingston III was not mentally present for as he lay there, blood dripping down his face from the rock he’d collided with, Jazz pressing worried muzzles into his form and whickering. A forgotten text, sent to his friend Mason before it had all gone to hell and he’d arrived at the bar hours before, is the only reason someone knows to look for him - he isn’t discovered until a few hours too many after the incident occurs, his friend having seen the filly in distress and following her to where he lay. Consciousness only comes to him in bits and spurts, a flash of Mason’s worry stricken face, of someone leading a rearing Jazz away, of an ambulance. Of the murmurs of the hospital, Mason calling his sister, seeing Holden’s worried face.

Severe concussion, bruised and cracked ribs, head injury, sprained arm, extreme exhaustion, and sleep deprivation. Cassidy Kay Kingston III had finally, finally, fallen over his tipping point - for better, or for worse.

@greerkingstcn

@masonxmillcr

@holdenfox

#self para #( about ; cass )#tw: verbal abuse #tw: horse accident #tldr cass fucks himself up #ft. mason #ft. greer #ft. holden #over the edge of the cliff #( wildfire lies and humiliation ; c.k. )#ft. ck.

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light-slow-deep · 3 years

Text

You are my Divine Masculine, there is no question. What remains, always, is the growth, self-discovery, awakening. What persists is my Trust in You.

----------------- ☯ -----------------

“When the Masculine meets the true, awakened Feminine, it arouses a new sensation in him, and activates specific levels of consciousness that demand his full attention.

The awakened, whole, conscious Feminine does not act needy or desperate around the Masculine. This does not mean that she does not acknowledge her deep inner desire and sacred requirements for the Masculine presence to be in her life. She knows this better than any woman who has not yet opened up to her full powers and strengths.

The awakened woman knows that the Masculine plays a vital role in her life journey, and has the ability to open her up in ways that she cannot do alone. In essence, she wants the masculine from a searingly profound place in her Soul.

But – this ‘want’ can be put on hold for years and years – decades even – if she is not being met with the kind of Masculine presence and devotion that she needs in order to serve her sacred feminine role.

When the Masculine meets the conscious Feminine vibration, it instantly realizes what is needed. The Masculine energy is stirred deeply and feels a pull on the Soul strings of his lost, dry, and forgotten heart. He realizes that although it is easy to lose himself in the glorious shakti sway of her body and the warmth of her sacred eyes, in order to stand next to her as a totem of divine masculine strength he must rise up in his own life.

Her spiritual energy will cause his own to wake up to itself.

He will become quickly aware that it will not be enough to lazily get what he wants and leave. He will recognize that even if he enters into a relationship with her, that her trust in him will not deepen unless he starts seriously showing up in his own life – and begins to rise like a phoenix towards his Full Purpose.

Her awakened energy will not tolerate the spiritually-sleepy masculine tendencies towards laziness, denial, avoidance, staying in comfort zones, procrastination, cowardice and over-reliance on quick fixes and instant gratification.

Her sacred energy will pull him up out of his coma and avoidance tactics, so that he feels on a visceral level just how potent and transformational loving her could be. He will also feel how loving her – and being a recipient of the healing codes in her body – instigates a firing of the neurons and electrical transmitters in his system, sparking him into awareness of just how much of a man he is required to evolve into.

He realizes that she is the greatest gift that has ever crossed his path. He realizes that he may never have another opportunity like this one to be supported in becoming the best version of himself possible. He is aware that there is no other woman on the planet who could love him like this, and fire up his energy centers into creating the Divine Purpose he has always wanted to live, but has always been too scared to fully commit to.

It is his decision whether or not he is brave enough to take the challenge of loving, and standing next to, a woman who has claimed her place as a sacred feminine warrior and holy chalice of love.

It is really his decision in many ways, because although she will be the one to decide whether or not she wishes to see him again, or let him into her world – she is always doing that based on the quality of truth, assurance, purposefulness and willingness that she receives from him.

When his Higher Self brings him to a Whole Woman, he must sit and contemplate, in order to realize that he has chosen this meeting – because a significant part of him is ready to ascend into being a Whole Man. This is a huge deal, because he most likely has not had any role models of this evolved male energy in his life. He doesn’t have to be faultless, a know-it-all, flashy, or movie star good-looking. He only has to nurture that spark within his precious masculine heart that wants to be the best man he can be. He only has to be willing and humble enough to learn from the Feminine, listen to her responses to his actions, and realize that she is the Divine Oracle for him, showing him where he needs to pull himself up.

His Soul really only wants to declare something like this:

“I want to bathe in the sweet, sacred radiance of your eternal Light for the rest of my days, and remember daily what a gift you are to my Soul.

I want you to be the Sacred Mirror on all the ways that I sabotage myself, deny myself, restrict myself and ‘flunk out’ on myself.

I want to hear that you trust me. I want to show you that your trust is well-judged, and that I realize how your ability to trust me makes a difference in how deeply you can open your body and heart when we are together.

I want to walk into brave new territories, risking rejection and even failure so that your trust in me soars, like a bird in flight. I realize that your sexual attraction to me increases exponentially every time I take a risk to rise into my Divine Masculine power and purpose.

I want to be a pioneer of a new movement of conscious, evolving, willing and open-hearted males, defying the old paradigms and awake enough to walk beside women who are changing the world forever.

I might not remember any of this, much of the time, and I may stumble, fall, collapse or sometimes fail at it. I want only to remember that my willingness to live my Sacred Truth, and my desire to do everything I can to earn your trust, are enough. I want only to remember that if I shut down my heart at the first hint of truth that comes from your mouth, your body language, your expressions – I will not win this game. I want to only remember that you cannot be expected to ‘mother’ me into being a grown-up (if I want to have a sexually vital and transformative love life). I do not want you to be my mother.”

We need manifestors for men of the Light to follow now, because it is vital that they stand up and realize their true worth and value in the advancing New Age. Awake Women do not want to batter men, criticize them, punish them, or shut their hearts and bodies down to them. Whole Women WANT men: their unwavering hard presence, their rock solid actions, their warrior hearts, their dynamic, pursuing energy.

Many Men of the Light are choosing to cross paths with soul-embodied women now. This is because their own Soul recognizes that it is time to rise up into Purpose, and the desire to connect with the embodied Sacred Feminine will ignite that Purpose. A woman who is on the path of Light will not settle for any man, no matter how deeply she has longed for the masculine presence. She has no desire nor energy to rescue, mother, nag or coach a man into loving her.

Yet the awakened woman carries more compassion, more unconditional love, more ability to support and nurture, more generosity and more sexual power than any other. There are limitless, never-ending, eternally-abundant rewards for any man who is courageous enough to risk his heart and life purpose for such a female.

This is the time of the emergent Divine Masculine presence, stepping up to the edge and committing to live from there, rising up to support and protect the Sacred Feminine Mission of Global Awakening.” ॐ ❤

~ Nashwa Starseed

0 notes

spacegrrlsuperb · 4 years

Text

“When the Masculine meets the true, awakened Feminine, it arouses a new sensation in him, and activates specific levels of consciousness that demand his full attention.

Her spiritual energy will cause his own to wake up to itself.

It is his decision whether or not he is brave enough to take the challenge of loving, and standing next to, a woman who has claimed her place as a sacred feminine warrior and holy chalice of love.

His Soul really only wants to declare something like this:

“I want to bathe in the sweet, sacred radiance of your eternal Light for the rest of my days, and remember daily what a gift you are to my Soul.

I want you to be the Sacred Mirror on all the ways that I sabotage myself, deny myself, restrict myself and ‘flunk out’ on myself.

I want to be a pioneer of a new movement of conscious, evolving, willing and open-hearted males, defying the old paradigms and awake enough to walk beside women who are changing the world forever.

~ Nashwa Starseed

0 notes

engelhexe · 4 years

Text

"When the Masculine meets the true, awakened Feminine, it arouses a new sensation in him, and activates specific levels of consciousness that demand his full attention.

The awakened woman knows that the Masculine plays a vital role in her life journey, and has the ability to open her up in ways that she cannot do alone. In essence, she wants the Masculine from a searingly profound place in her Soul.

When the Masculine meets the conscious Feminine vibration, it instantly realizes what is needed. The Masculine energy is stirred deeply and feels a pull on the Soul strings of his lost, dry, and forgotten heart. He realizes that although it is easy to lose himself in the glorious shakti sway of her body and the warmth of her sacred eyes, in order to stand next to her as a totem of Divine Masculine strength he must rise up in his own life.

Her spiritual energy will cause his own to wake up to itself.

Her awakened energy will not tolerate the spiritually-sleepy Masculine tendencies towards laziness, denial, avoidance, staying in comfort zones, procrastination, cowardice and over-reliance on quick fixes and instant gratification.

It is his decision whether or not he is brave enough to take the challenge of loving, and standing next to, a woman who has claimed her place as a sacred Feminine warrior and holy chalice of love.

When his Higher Self brings him to a Whole Woman, he must sit and contemplate, in order to realize that he has chosen this meeting – because a significant part of him is ready to ascend into being a Whole Man. This is a huge deal, because he most likely has not had any role models of this evolved male energy in his life. He doesn’t have to be faultless, a know-it-all, flashy, or movie star good-looking. He only has to nurture that spark within his precious Masculine heart that wants to be the best man he can be. He only has to be willing and humble enough to learn from the Feminine, listen to her responses to his actions, and realize that she is the Divine Oracle for him, showing him where he needs to pull himself up.

His Soul really only wants to declare something like this:

“I want to bathe in the sweet, sacred radiance of your eternal Light for the rest of my days, and remember daily what a gift you are to my Soul.

I want you to be the Sacred Mirror on all the ways that I sabotage myself, deny myself, restrict myself and ‘flunk out’ on myself.

I want to be a pioneer of a new movement of conscious, evolving, willing and open-hearted males, defying the old paradigms and awake enough to walk beside women who are changing the world forever.

~ Nashwa Starseed ~

0 notes

veracityandotherdresses · 5 years

Photo

Saturday, April 27, 2019

T H E DIVINE M A S C U L I N E

As part of my transformation as the DIVINE FEMININE, being my true self inquires me to end up with a man who is his truest self. Ever since I changed, my heart no longer allows me to settle for anything less. What does that mean? Here is the definition of the DIVINE MASCULINE:

“When the Masculine meets the true, awakened Feminine, it arouses a new sensation in him, and activates specific levels of consciousness that demand his full attention. The awakened, whole, conscious Feminine does not act needy or desperate around the Masculine. This does not mean that she does not acknowledge her deep inner desire and sacred requirements for the Masculine presence to be in her life. She knows this better than any woman who has not yet opened up to her full powers and strengths. The awakened woman knows that the Masculine plays a vital role in her life journey, and has the ability to open her up in ways that she cannot do alone. In essence, she wants the masculine from a searingly profound place in her Soul. But – this ‘want’ can be put on hold for years and years – decades even – if she is not being met with the kind of Masculine presence and devotion that she needs in order to serve her sacred feminine role. When the Masculine meets the conscious Feminine vibration, it instantly realizes what is needed. The Masculine energy is stirred deeply and feels a pull on the Soul strings of his lost, dry, and forgotten heart. He realizes that although it is easy to lose himself in the glorious shakti sway of her body and the warmth of her sacred eyes, in order to stand next to her as a totem of divine masculine strength he must rise up in his own life. Her spiritual energy will cause his own to wake up to itself. He will become quickly aware that it will not be enough to lazily get what he wants and leave. He will recognize that even if he enters into a relationship with her, that her trust in him will not deepen unless he starts seriously showing up in his own life – and begins to rise like a phoenix towards his Full Purpose. Her awakened energy will not tolerate the spiritually-sleepy masculine tendencies towards laziness, denial, avoidance, staying in comfort zones, procrastination, cowardice and over-reliance on quick fixes and instant gratification. Her sacred energy will pull him up out of his coma and avoidance tactics, so that he feels on a visceral level just how potent and transformational loving her could be. He will also feel how loving her – and being a recipient of the healing codes in her body – instigates a firing of the neurons and electrical transmitters in his system, sparking him into awareness of just how much of a man he is required to evolve into. He realizes that she is the greatest gift that has ever crossed his path. He realizes that he may never have another opportunity like this one to be supported in becoming the best version of himself possible. He is aware that there is no other woman on the planet who could love him like this, and fire up his energy centers into creating the Divine Purpose he has always wanted to live, but has always been too scared to fully commit to. It is his decision whether or not he is brave enough to take the challenge of loving, and standing next to, a woman who has claimed her place as a sacred feminine warrior and holy chalice of love. It is really his decision in many ways, because although she will be the one to decide whether or not she wishes to see him again, or let him into her world – she is always doing that based on the quality of truth, assurance, purposefulness and willingness that she receives from him. When his Higher Self brings him to a Whole Woman, he must sit and contemplate, in order to realize that he has chosen this meeting – because a significant part of him is ready to ascend into being a Whole Man. This is a huge deal, because he most likely has not had any role models of this evolved male energy in his life. He doesn’t have to be faultless, a know-it-all, flashy, or movie star good-looking. He only has to nurture that spark within his precious masculine heart that wants to be the best man he can be. He only has to be willing and humble enough to learn from the Feminine, listen to her responses to his actions, and realize that she is the Divine Oracle for him, showing him where he needs to pull himself up. His Soul really only wants to declare something like this: “I want to bathe in the sweet, sacred radiance of your eternal Light for the rest of my days, and remember daily what a gift you are to my Soul. I want you to be the Sacred Mirror on all the ways that I sabotage myself, deny myself, restrict myself and ‘flunk out’ on myself. I want to hear that you trust me. I want to show you that your trust is well-judged, and that I realize how your ability to trust me makes a difference in how deeply you can open your body and heart when we are together. I want to walk into brave new territories, risking rejection and even failure so that your trust in me soars, like a bird in flight. I realize that your sexual attraction to me increases exponentially every time I take a risk to rise into my Divine Masculine power and purpose. I want to be a pioneer of a new movement of conscious, evolving, willing and open-hearted males, defying the old paradigms and awake enough to walk beside women who are changing the world forever. I might not remember any of this, much of the time, and I may stumble, fall, collapse or sometimes fail at it. I want only to remember that my willingness to live my Sacred Truth, and my desire to do everything I can to earn your trust, are enough. I want only to remember that if I shut down my heart at the first hint of truth that comes from your mouth, your body language, your expressions – I will not win this game. I want to only remember that you cannot be expected to ‘mother’ me into being a grown-up (if I want to have a sexually vital and transformative love life). I do not want you to be my mother.” We need manifestors for men of the Light to follow now, because it is vital that they stand up and realize their true worth and value in the advancing New Age. Awake Women do not want to batter men, criticize them, punish them, or shut their hearts and bodies down to them. Whole Women WANT men: their unwavering hard presence, their rock solid actions, their warrior hearts, their dynamic, pursuing energy. Many Men of the Light are choosing to cross paths with soul-embodied women now. This is because their own Soul recognizes that it is time to rise up into Purpose, and the desire to connect with the embodied Sacred Feminine will ignite that Purpose. A woman who is on the path of Light will not settle for any man, no matter how deeply she has longed for the masculine presence. She has no desire nor energy to rescue, mother, nag or coach a man into loving her. Yet the awakened woman carries more compassion, more unconditional love, more ability to support and nurture, more generosity and more sexual power than any other. There are limitless, never-ending, eternally-abundant rewards for any man who is courageous enough to risk his heart and life purpose for such a female. This is the time of the emergent Divine Masculine presence, stepping up to the edge and committing to live from there, rising up to support and protect the Sacred Feminine Mission of Global Awakening.” ॐ ❤

-Nashwa Starseed

0 notes

brentrogers · 4 years

Text

Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability

The word “vulnerability” has been labeled as many things in recent years. For example, vulnerability has been expressed as being a necessary part of the human experience. It has been argued as being the driving force behind authentic human connection as well as being coined a necessary ingredient for lasting relationships.

Perhaps most notably, Dr. Brene Brown has coined vulnerability as, “…emotional risk and exposure to uncertainty that fuels our daily lives as the most accurate measurement of courage.”

However, this was not always the case. As recently as a couple decades ago a stigma surrounded the word vulnerability as one of emotional helplessness and something to be avoided. Vulnerability was associated with shame, triggering feelings of incompetence and weakness in men and fears of being seen as imperfect and flawed in women.

Nowadays, there is less of a stigma attached to the word in which being vulnerable is embraced as courageous and empowering. To be emotionally vulnerable is an incredibly powerful experience that shapes individuals for personal growth and can strengthen our bonds within intimate relationships.

For those who have a history of pushing away vulnerable experiences or emotions or only allowing ourselves to experience “feel-good” emotions, vulnerability can be challenging to understand and even more challenging to relate to. According to Dr. Brene Brown in a 2012 TED Talk titled, “Listening to Shame”, she points out how feeling vulnerable can have us experiencing cognitive dissonance where on one hand we’re striving for empowerment through experiencing vulnerability, while on the other hand we’re pushing away vulnerability which limits our empowerment.

Signs of a Fear of Vulnerability

From time to time, all of us have experienced a fear of being vulnerable with our own feelings or of the feelings in others. These fears can show up in different ways, yet the overarching theme is that when fear is involved, behavior is often avoidant or distracted in order to escape emotionally uncomfortable experiences.

John Bowby’s groundbreaking work on infant and young children’s attachment styles has extended to adult romantic relationships where it has been found by researchers that fearful-avoidant, anxious-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant attachments seen in intimate relationships displayed similar behavioral tendencies as infants and children separated from their primary caregivers.

These behavioral similarities may account for commonly seen signs when experiencing a fear of vulnerability which can include:

Over-Committing Ourselves. For example, some may struggle with being alone or with moments of quiet or calmness. When we jam-pack our schedules with work, the gym, classes at the local university or extracurricular hobbies in order to limit, or even eliminate having any downtime, we are also limiting the chance of feeling vulnerable. While this may work in the moment, over time the habit of avoiding vulnerability by over-committing ourselves causes more problems, further separates us from being aligned with our own emotions and the emotions of others, and perpetuates a cycle.

Emotions Are Downplayed. When we struggle with feeling vulnerable and comfortable with ourselves and our own emotions, we also struggle with recognizing and accepting the emotional experiences in others. This may come across as appearing emotionally disconnected or indifferent to how we feel or what others may be feeling. We may also create an emotional wall to keep others’ out while protecting ourselves from feeling hurt or vulnerable. Emotional distance is used to keep others at arm’s length but it is also a self-sabotaging behavior that ultimately hurts us, too.

Living for Others. This may present itself as taking on other’s opinions or values that truly aren’t aligned with who we are at our core, yet we feel uncomfortable having our own thoughts or attitudes because of feelings of shame or of a fear of being judged. Living for others may also present itself as being stuck at a job that doesn’t fulfill us or stuck in a lifestyle that we don’t know how to get out of or change. For example, if our partner encouraged us to get an office job when our passion is fieldwork, we may feel unfulfilled, or bored or even resentful being stuck doing work that does not satisfy our purpose or growth.

Shallow Relationships. Because the hallmark of most relationships include some level of emotional vulnerability, relationships may be reduced to casual acquaintances or intimate relationships may be superficial and based on “doing” instead of “experiencing”. For example, relationships based on “doing” often include full schedules of activities with little time for intimate conversation or emotional connection. Contrarily, relationships that are based on “experiencing” are ones based on emotional vulnerability, authenticity and mutual trust and understanding where doing “things” is not as important as shared experiences.

Overcoming Fears of Vulnerability

Acceptance and Worth. At the source of fearing vulnerability are the feelings of shame that accompany it. Toxic shame is our inner critic that tries convincing us that we are unworthy – not our thoughts, not our limitations, but us as a person. When we lack a sense of feeling worthy or valued, we will continue to struggle with feelings of vulnerability because it will trigger shame, which keeps us stuck in a loop. Change and empowerment begin with reaching acceptance; once a place of acceptance is reached, we can then begin recognizing and building our value and worth.

Honesty. Being honest with our partner, family and friends means being able to trust them before we can disclose our needs and feelings. If we don’t trust the people closest to us in our lives, we will not be able to reach a place of acceptance or vulnerability with our situation. However, if we have an established foundation of trust with those in our lives, we should come from a place of honesty in explaining our struggles with vulnerability and in asking them for their support in helping us overcome our fears.

Allow Yourself To Cry. Or to get angry, or to even momentarily break down. Dr. Brene Brown has publicly spoken about her struggles with vulnerability and her emotional breakdown as a result. It is not always healthy to be happy or positive because this can often mask deep pain and anger. The fact is, bonding and connection usually happen over intimacy and vulnerable experiences, not when things are perfect. A need for constant happiness is often used as an excuse – if we look happy and perfect, we must feel happy and perfect. Ultimately, all this does is keep denial at the forefront and keeps us trying to push away our emotions.

Recognize Your Patterns and Habits. Avoidance and escapism are common behaviors when we are distracting ourselves from feeling vulnerable. For example, we may become workaholics, or spend excessive hours at the gym, self-medicate, or develop toxic relationship patterns to avoid feeling vulnerable. By recognizing our emotional triggers, we can also make connections to our habits and patterns that are self-sabotaging or limiting our personal growth and then establish healthy behaviors that foster positive change.

References

Bowlby, J., 1982. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York: Avery. https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en#t-1204933

Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.

The post Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability first appeared on World of Psychology.

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whorchataaa · 4 years

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Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability

Perhaps most notably, Dr. Brene Brown has coined vulnerability as, “…emotional risk and exposure to uncertainty that fuels our daily lives as the most accurate measurement of courage.”

Signs of a Fear of Vulnerability

These behavioral similarities may account for commonly seen signs when experiencing a fear of vulnerability which can include:

Overcoming Fears of Vulnerability

References

Bowlby, J., 1982. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.

The post Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability first appeared on World of Psychology.

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 4 years

Text

Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability

Perhaps most notably, Dr. Brene Brown has coined vulnerability as, “…emotional risk and exposure to uncertainty that fuels our daily lives as the most accurate measurement of courage.”

Signs of a Fear of Vulnerability

These behavioral similarities may account for commonly seen signs when experiencing a fear of vulnerability which can include:

Overcoming Fears of Vulnerability

References

Bowlby, J., 1982. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.

The post Overcoming Our Fear of Emotional Vulnerability first appeared on World of Psychology.

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#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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mrs-x-brightside · 4 years

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"When the Masculine meets the true, awakened Feminine, it arouses a new sensation in him, and activates specific levels of consciousness that demand his full attention.

When the Masculine meets the conscious Feminine vibration, it instantly realizes what is needed. The Masculine energy is stirred deeply and feels a pull on the Soul strings of his lost, dry, and forgotten heart. He realizes that although it is easy to lose himself in the glorious shakti sway of her body and the warmth of her sacred eyes, in order to stand next to her as a totem of Divine Masculine strength he must rise up in his own life.

Her spiritual energy will cause his own to wake up to itself.

It is his decision whether or not he is brave enough to take the challenge of loving, and standing next to, a woman who has claimed her place as a sacred Feminine warrior and holy chalice of love.

When his Higher Self brings him to a Whole Woman, he must sit and contemplate, in order to realize that he has chosen this meeting – because a significant part of him is ready to ascend into being a Whole Man. This is a huge deal, because he most likely has not had any role models of this evolved male energy in his life. He doesn’t have to be faultless, a know-it-all, flashy, or movie star good-looking. He only has to nurture that spark within his precious Masculine heart that wants to be the best man he can be. He only has to be willing and humble enough to learn from the Feminine, listen to her responses to his actions, and realize that she is the Divine Oracle for him, showing him where he needs to pull himself up.

His Soul really only wants to declare something like this:

“I want to bathe in the sweet, sacred radiance of your eternal Light for the rest of my days, and remember daily what a gift you are to my Soul.

I want you to be the Sacred Mirror on all the ways that I sabotage myself, deny myself, restrict myself and ‘flunk out’ on myself.

I want to be a pioneer of a new movement of conscious, evolving, willing and open-hearted males, defying the old paradigms and awake enough to walk beside women who are changing the world forever.

~ Nashwa Starseed ~

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xdearalicia · 5 years

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This is me in every way

Relationships can be one of the most pleasurable things on the planet… but they can also be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts and feelings. Relationship anxiety can arise at pretty much any stage of courtship. For many single people, just the thought of being in a relationship can stir up stress. If and when people do start dating, the early stages can present them with endless worries: “Does he/she really like me?” “Will this work out?” “How serious is this?” Unfortunately, these worries don’t tend to subside in the later stages of a romantic union. In fact, as things get closer between a couple, anxiety can get even more intense. Thoughts come flooding in like: “Can this last?” “Do I really like him/her?” “Should we slow down?” “Am I really ready for this kind of commitment?” “Is he/she losing interest?”

All this worrying about our relationships can make us feel pretty alone. It can lead us to create distance between ourselves and our partner. At its worst, our anxiety can even push us to give up on love altogether. Learning more about the causes and effects of relationship anxiety can help us to identify the negative thinking and actions that can sabotage our love lives. How can we keep our anxiety in check and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone we love?

What Causes Relationship Anxiety?

Put simply, falling in love challenges us in numerous ways we don’t expect. The more we value someone else, the more we stand to lose. On many levels, both conscious and unconscious, we become scared of being hurt. To a certain degree, we all possess a fear of intimacy. Ironically, this fear often arises when we are getting exactly what we want, when we’re experiencing love as we never have or being treated in ways that are unfamiliar.

As we get into a relationship, it isn’t just the things that go on between us and our partner that make us anxious.; it’s the things we tell ourselves about what’s going on. The “critical inner voice” is a term used to describe the mean coach we all have in our heads that criticizes us, feeds us bad advice and fuels our fear of intimacy. It’s the one that tells us:

“You’re too ugly/fat/boring to keep his/her interest.”

“You’ll never meet anyone, so why even try?”

“You can’t trust him. He’s looking for someone better.”

“She doesn’t really love you. Get out before you get hurt.”

This critical inner voice makes us turn against ourselves and the people close to us. It can promote hostile, paranoid and suspicious thinking that lowers our self-esteem and drives unhealthy levels of distrust, defensiveness, jealousy and anxiety. Basically, it feeds us a consistent stream of thoughts that undermine our happiness and make us worry about our relationship, rather than just enjoying it.

When we get in our heads, focusing on these worried thoughts, we become incredibly distracted from real relating with our partner. We may start to act out in destructive ways, making nasty comments or becoming childish or parental toward our significant other. For example, imagine your partner stays at work late one night. Sitting home alone, your inner critic starts telling you, “Where is she? Can you really believe her? She probably prefers being away from you. She’s trying to avoid you. She doesn’t even love you anymore.” These thoughts can snowball in your mind until, by the time your partner gets home, you’re feeling insecure, furious or paranoid. You may act angry or cold, which then sets your partner off to feel frustrated and defensive. Pretty soon, you’ve completely shifted the dynamic between you. Instead of enjoying the time you have together, you may waste an entire night feeling withdrawn and upset with each other. You’ve now effectively forced the distance you initially feared. The culprit behind this self-fulfilling prophecy isn’t the situation itself. It’s that critical inner voice that colored your thinking, distorted your perceptions, and ultimately, led you down a destructive past

The defenses we form and critical voices we hear are based on our own unique experiences and adaptations. When we feel anxious or insecure, some of us have a tendency to become clingy and desperate in our actions. We may feel possessive or controlling toward our partner in response. Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships. We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire. We may act out by being aloof, distant or guarded. These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles. Our attachment pattern is established in our childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. It influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety. You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here.

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harleytherapy · 6 years

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New Post has been published on Harley Therapy™ Blog

New Post has been published on https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/reparenting-yourself-how-to-heal-the-mother-wound.htm

Reparenting Yourself - How to Heal the Mother Wound

By: pallavi_damera

Our mothers give us life. In the face of this, it can feel hard to admit that our mother was unable to provide us with the unconditional love, support and safety we needed.

How can we heal the mother wound and stop wandering through life without the self-esteem that others seem to naturally have?

[At the end of your rope over your relationship with your mother? We understand. Book a session with one of our Skype therapists, and you can be talking to someone as soon as tomorrow.]

Reparenting yourself – a How -To Guide

Yes, when it comes to being under -mothered we need to work on acceptance, letting go, and the level of forgiveness that works for us.

But to heal the mother wound we also need to find ways to give ourselves all that we did not receive as a child. And the faster we do that, the more energy we’ll have for forgiveness and acceptance.

What are these things we missed out on? And what tools can we use to get them?

1. Love.

What most under mothered adults feel a lack of is being loved just how they are. We feel that we have to earn love, or that we have to accept relationships where we aren’t loved.

The step to take here is to become brutally honest with yourself by asking good questions. Take an honest inventory of your relation to love.

Are you actually codependent or counter-dependent?

Do you have anxious attachment or avoidant attachment?

What sorts of friendships and relationships are you always engaging in?

What are your actual core beliefs around love?

How do you block and sabotage love?

Do you even, deep down, believe love exists?

What ways have you tried to get love that clearly haven’t worked? Have you tried to manipulate, or cling, or beg for love?

2. Structure.

By: Bradley Stemke

Are you completely unorganised? Messy despite best effort? Always missing appointments, can’t keep on top of things?

This can come from a mother who was inconsistent with her affection. Meaning as a child you had to always be available for morsels of attention.

As an adult you can unwittingly be doing the same thing. You lack of scheduling can be a way to feel available at the drop of a hat.

So what to be done?

Spend two weeks writing down what you do every hour to get a real idea of where your time is going. Set a timer to go off on the hour to remind you. The results can be eye opening.

Then learn about time management and how to set and achieve goals. If you find this very hard, consider some sessions with a life coach.

3. Limits.

As children we need to learn healthy boundaries and be allowed to exercise our own ability to say no. If you had to be a ‘good, perfect’ child for mother growing up, or your mother over-relied on you as her source of identity? Then you might have missed this learning curve.

The result? An adult who is always exhausted from doing to much for others, never has time for what brings them joy, and feels stuck in life.

It’s time to study and learn what personal boundaries are and how to say no in ways that work.

4. Identity.

Children who have inconsistent parenting often learn to be the child the adults around them want. It’s a way to survive around a mother who is volatile or unwell, or who punishes you.

The result is we get so used to fitting ourselves around others needs, we end up an adult who has no idea who he or she is.

Consistent journalling can help here.

But one of the best tools is mindfulness. Mindfulness pulls us away from our worries and analysing right into what we feel and think right here and now.

And don’t worry, it’s easy to learn – read our free ‘Guide to Mindfulness’, and try a mindfulness app.

By: crudmucosa

5. Guidance.

Are you indecisive? Never know what you really want? Tend to do what other people tell you, and then regret it or feel angry?

When we don’t have a strong mothering presence guiding us as a child, we can unconsciously seek it from others as an adult. We don’t learn to recognise our own needs and desires and hear our own instincts.

It’s time to develop your own inner guidance system, or ‘inner parent’. Mindfulness is again highly recommended. It gives you direct access to your ‘inner wisdom’, a voice that waits behind the criticism and overthinking.

Body awareness is also a useful tool here. Learn to notice your physical response to decisions. Are you constantly pushing yourself to do things that give you anxiety or fear just because someone else told you you ‘should’?

And learn the art of good questions. This means sitting down and spending time journalling responses to ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions (avoid the ‘whys’, they lead to dispiriting rabbit holes.).

6. Self-acceptance.

The sister of love is self-acceptance. And it’s actually far easier to achieve than self-love, which tends to come in its wake anyway.

The first thing is again awareness. Often the soundtrack in our mind is something we aren’t even aware of. So used to negative thinking, we don’t even realise how critical and mean we are to ourselves.

Check in with yourself several times a day. How are you feeling about yourself? What have you just said against yourself?

And try learning thought charts, a CBT therapy tool proven to stop a tendency to black and white thinking.

Then shift your focus to what is right about you and your life. Each day take time to write out not just three things you are grateful for, but three things you’ve achieved, no matter how small.

As for raising your self-esteem, the best tool here is self-compassion. This means constantly asking yourself, would I say or do that to my best friend? Then why am I doing or saying it to myself? How can I start to treat myself as well as I treat my friends?

When is it time for support?

Growing up without the mothering we need can indeed leave us with real psychological issues that take time and space to ourselves to get over. Low self-esteem and relationship problems are common.

Yes, there are a lot of great self help tools nowadays. But working with a counsellor or psychotherapist can fast-track your results. There is something about the calm, non-judgmental space that therapy provides that means we have self revelations faster.

And some therapists also provide psychotherapeutic reparenting. This means they stand in, within limits, as the parent you never truly had. It can be the support you need to learn to trust both yourself and others.

Are you ready for support with your mother issues? Harley Therapy puts you in touch with London’s top therapists in central locations. Not in London? Our online booking platform connects you to therapists across the UK and now globally via Skype therapy.

Still have a question about how reparenting yourself and healing the ‘mother wound’? Share in the comment box below.

#attachment theory #mother wound #parenting #self esteem

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sarahburness · 6 years

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How to Really Love Yourself From the Inside Out

The concept of self-love and total body acceptance has become such ubiquitous topics that they seem almost trite and common. But do you really know how to really love yourself?

I know, from first-hand experience, that the road to self-love is a potential minefield for the unwary. Having suffered from body image issues in my teens and young adult years, I’m intimately familiar with the emotions and negative self-talk patterns that occur when we aren’t at peace with ourselves.

After many years of introspection and deep inner-work, I realized that attaining the “perfect look” can never replace the inner peace that comes with the genuine belief that we’re lovable and worthy no matter what others say. Yet the average girl and women today experience frequent bouts of self-doubt because she measures her self-worth based on the superficial standards created by society.

The Causes of Negative Self-Image

Over the past couple of decades, psychologists, mental health professionals, and empowerment experts have probed deeply into the critical subjects of poor body image. They looked into how our society’s fixation on physical beauty perpetuates painful psychological symptoms that cause self-sabotaging behaviors.

They have found that the biggest cause of negative self-image in women is the lack of proper guidance and direction from parents, teachers, and relatives. The absence or inability of parental figures to tune into the vulnerabilities of their children and steer them towards adopting a healthier self-concept increases the likelihood of unhealthy self-image.

Without good role models while growing up, a girl is exposed to the detrimental impact of negative social conditioning. Media outlets, such as TV shows, movies, advertisements, magazines, and social media, infiltrate her mind with unattainable standards for beauty.

Common Symptoms of Negative Self-Image

Women who undermine their value live with a fragile sense of self-esteem. They attach their self-worth to external validation.

There are numerous subtle as well as obvious dysfunctional coping mechanisms that women use to deal with that. The list includes:

Lack of confidence in both personal and professional realm

A tendency to attract and stay in an abusive relationship

Developing addictions

Spending too much time and money on beauty treatments and surgeries

Inability to focus on their career aspirations,

People-pleasing behavior

A lack of good social and relationship skills.

The Solution: Redefining Feminine Beauty

I believe that we can tackle this pervasive phenomenon by igniting a beauty revolution. We need to address this issue on both an individual and collective level.

Dealing with it on an individual level involves making concerted efforts towards bringing about an internal shift within young girls and women. Educate them on how they can maintain a strong sense of self-worth and develop an identity that is independent of outward appearances.

The second is to change the paradigm of beauty. Take measures to moderate or alter the messages and images propagated by the media and other key influencers. They need to align with a healthier ideal of women’s beauty that draws the focus from physical attractiveness to her accomplishments and her character.

Take an inside-out approach

As women, we need to take an inside-out approach when it comes to overcoming negative self-image. I recommend a holistic approach towards overcoming these blocks. Work on all the relevant aspects of your being – your mind, heart, body, and spirit.

A few of the key points include:

Adopting a positive mindset and belief system

Healing any past emotional trauma or pain with a trained professional

Loving your body by giving it the nourishment and care it needs to stay healthy

Living your life with a sense of purpose and passion

In addition to overcoming these blocks to personal empowerment, we also need to adopt a constellation of traits, sensibilities, and lifestyle choices. They should lead to a life of balance, accomplishment, and lasting fulfillment which I call the True Beauty principles.

Some of these include:

Not being defined by your body type and dress size

Developing your intellect, talents, and your character

Embracing your unique ethnic features

Not being intimidated by the aging process

Moving from a self-centered way of living towards one of compassion and altruism

In Conclusion

We have reached an ideal time in history to add momentum in the looming beauty revolution. The old paradigm of forming opinions about women based solely on appearances is antiquated. We need to let them go.

As a civilization, we need to move towards more progressive ways of being and thinking. That way, we can empower girls and women to feel comfortable in their own skin and fulfill their highest potential. That’s how you can start learning how to really love yourself.

The post How to Really Love Yourself From the Inside Out appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-really-love-yourself/

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