#she mixed MILK AND BEER TOGETHER AND CHUGGED IT

[useragarfield]

i am sitting here FUCKING DYING over the third episode of loot and her being on hot ones i’m absolutely deceased like i can’t handle this i love you sean evans ksghsjg did they have fun akjgskg did he thrive fake doing this with maya rudolph

#loot #sean evans #maya rudolph #tv #i speak #she mixed MILK AND BEER TOGETHER AND CHUGGED IT #HELLPPPPPP #I CANNOT #wheezing #w h e e z i n g

[spice-and-fire]

TIMING: Recent LOCATION: The Wormhole PARTIES: @eatdearth x @spice-and-fire SUMMARY: Devi & Jasper meet at the Wormhole for drinks. CONTENT: None

“You know almonds, right?” Devi asked, as if those weren’t a common thing here or most places with a candy store or chocolate shop or even an airport shop. “I used to go crazy for them as a kid…” She shook her head, grinning, before taking a sip of her beer. “But my dad was the worst at shelling them. He'd just hack 'em to pieces with his knife, leaving a bunch of inedible mush behind. In the end, he'd salvage what he could by scraping pieces of the flesh off the shell, then mixing it with some milk and calling it porridge.”

It had been a long day. For most people, that would already be enough to get them a bottle of beer or two, but for someone in Worm Row? Someone like Devi who lives in the most dangerous neighborhood in town? It was just any other day, and a cold glass of beer was an excuse to feel a sort of relief from the day-to-day routine of surviving. “...I do miss the taste of that porridge sometimes...and I miss that old nut-cracker, too.”

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? At least that’s how it went in Jasper’s head, complete with an imagined perfect rendition with his voice, which, of course, would not exist in reality. He was not a singer, especially not someone who could belt out a harmonious Mr. Brightside by The Killers with relative ease. Even the shower wouldn’t indulge his fantasy. It actually started with an attempt at a ‘deez nuts’ joke, the professor having been bombarded with hundreds of thousands of the sort just this week alone that his brain tried to lessen the trauma by pulling the same crap on a stranger. Unfortunately for him, the stranger seemed to have already drank too many beers to actually care.

Jasper heaved a sigh, nodding his head, pretending he was getting what she was talking about. In reality, he was barely listening. Something about almonds and milk. Great. She’s one of those people who aggressively prefers nut milk over cow milk. Jasper didn’t think they were especially harmful, or annoying, but because she was being harmful to him, mostly annoying, she couldn’t help but lump them all in together. And try to change the subject. “Speaking of cracking nuts, you from here? I’ve only been here a couple of times. Pretty far from where I live. Hoping none of my students would find me here.”

Devi simply nodded, taking another sip of her beer, more like a chug, as she never took her eyes off of Jasper. She was surprised, more impressed, that the random guy she was talking to was actually a professor of sorts, maybe even a kindergarten teacher. Don’t get her wrong: Professors are impressive, what with their degrees and everything, but kindergarten teachers? Those guys deal with tiny kids, annoying kids, kids that have yet to know shame and guilt. Those guys are way more impressive than anyone else. “Students? You teach?”

“Say, does your place need security?” Devi squinted as she leaned forward toward him, closer than he probably liked, her beer-scented breath warm to his face. “Because if you guys need security, or extra security, I’m really good at working security,” she leaned back, shrugging, a playful smirk on her face. Devi was proud of that part of her, being efficient and competent in the field of security. She’d done much worse in the past, beating people to a pulp, setting things including said people on fire, displaying gruesome violence all for a lot of money, so still being able to be on top of things and people without needing to resort to her past barbaric tendencies… Well, that was pretty impressive, if she thought so herself. “Like, really good.”

“I do,” Jasper beamed with pride. If there was one thing in his life he was most proud of, aside from his luxurious mane, it was his calling, his craft, his field. “I teach geology at the university. I’m a geologist, a professor, and an all-round rockstar.” With a shake of his head, he winked at the woman before realizing that pun might need some explaining. “Get it? Rockstar? Because I work with rocks?” Probably didn’t actually need some explaining. Might have made it a whole lot worse now. Puns have never been the most accepted form of humor, and explaining them? Well, that might be offensive to some people.

“Security?” Jasper instinctively raised an eyebrow. He looked the woman over, from head to toe, and subconsciously licked his lips. She was fine. More than fine. Like girlfriend material. Maybe even wife material. Definitely someone he’d take care of, love until the day he died. Or at least the idealized version he had of her. Jasper didn’t know her that much, not yet at least, to make this kind of assumption. He could blame the alcohol or the loneliness but he definitely needs some more maturing in that regard. “You work security?” He blurted out, in disbelief that someone who looked like her worked a field so risky and dangerous as security.

“Huh,” Devi squinted at Jasper, as if confused by his revelation. At first, she thought he didn’t look like a geology professor. But then again, what would a geology professor even look like? Devi, who barely had a formal education, wouldn’t know. Professors to her have always been silver-haired old men or bespectacled ladies with prim and proper clothing. Jasper seemed young and less disillusioned by the world around him, though she could be wrong. His ‘rock’ pun confirmed that. “...I see. You actually like rock, the music genre, or is that just for the wordplay?”

When his eyes wandered all over her, Devi felt the heat, becoming a little more defensive than usual. It was like he was judging her from the way she looked. Growing up in a different country from where she had been born, and being who, or more precisely, what she is, that whole thing was not her jam. So it made her a little more annoyed and a little less…nice. “Yeah, I do,” she blurted out almost instinctively, as aggressively as she could. “Got a problem with that, Professor?”

Eyebrow raised, an agitated Devi didn’t stop with that. She leaned forward, now wearing a scowl, doing the same thing to him as he had to her: Judging him after her eyes went over his entire body. “What are you even doing here? This is Worm Row, not your cushy university, with your rich students and expensive beers. You here for something illegal? Something scandalous, huh?” Was he a pervert? It was all starting to make sense to her now. A professor down there for a simple bottle of beer? Nah, he was more likely some sort of deviant, out to buy some folks’ time and company so he could do his weird, maybe even dark, desires with them. Disgusting. “You a piece of shit, Jimmy?”

“I mean, sure,” Jasper shrugged, clearly a filthy casual when it came to music genres. The man listens to The Coffeehouse playlist on Spotify without even remembering the individual titles on there. He was not the best guy to ask for recommendations on songs. He could barely remember the tunes he’s heard for days, both intentionally and unintentionally. “I like rock. I listen to it whenever I can. The Beatles, am I right?” Were the Beatles rock? He had a feeling the woman would tell him either way.

“Oh, no problem,” Jasper feigned a cough, feeling the weight of the night, the company, and the drinks just then. Was his shoulder aching? He could have sworn it wasn’t just a few seconds ago. Why would it even start to hurt? “No problem at all,” he repeated without looking at her, his full attention on the bad feeling on his shoulder. “I just meant, well, you look too pretty to be working security,” he fucked up, obliviously. “Like, you should be a model or something else.”

“Illegal?” Jasper perked up, eyes wide in horror when she started assuming the worst of him. In her defense, she had some great points. Why would a self-respecting professor go all the way down in Worm Row for a drink? In his defense? He was not a self-respecting professor, if not only a professor. “Oh, no! No, no, no! Nothing of the sort,” he gulped, straightened himself on his seat, as if that would help his argument. “I’m just… I don’t really want to run into students or other professors or everyone I know, you know? Also, it’s Jasper, not Jimmy… Did you give me your name?”

Devi wasn’t in the mood to argue. The alcohol coursing through her veins fought off any internal urge to pick a fight with Jasper’s statements. He was right about one thing, though: The Beatles were rock. And a bunch of other things. Hard to box legends with careers, especially music, that withstand time. With a wide grin on her face, she leaned back before unintentionally pounding his shoulder, closer to his back, with a wider hand. “You’re all right, Blackbird,” she chuckled. You’re all right.”

It helped that apparently his earlier comments were meant to be a compliment. Devi didn’t initially take them as such, but to be fair, Devi wasn’t taking things as they are at that point in time. If she was, she wouldn’t be drinking her problems away with a random stranger. A model, though? She felt that was a bit much. She’s been called pretty before, mostly by men with needs, but a model? That felt to her like an unnecessary stretch. “Maybe I am? I’m woman enough to be able to juggle more than one job, right?”

“Jasper,” Devi mouthed his name again. It wasn’t that odd of a name, though it was definitely less common than Jimmy. At least to her it was. She shrugged before she answered his question, “Nope.” Guy was relatable. At least he’d be if she was herself a few years ago. Running into faces she was familiar with in that state? That would’ve been impossible back then. She would’ve made sure of it. But that was all in the past. She’s lost so many loved ones, running into them again would be a welcomed respite from all the regrets, the bad memories, the living nightmares that has since haunted her sober days. 

“It’s Devi,” she let out a yawn, stretching her limbs to either side in protest at the sleepiness. “You know, I get you, Jasper. Sometimes, we just gotta be somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere no one we know will find us.” It was exactly why she had even moved to town. Somewhere else. Somewhere new. Somewhere no one left she knew would find her. And her sins.

“Blackbird?” Jasper was confused. Where did that come from? Was it because of his skin tone? The geology professor wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. On one hand, he should be offended, right? On the other? She’s kinda cute, so maybe that’s a win for him? Fortunately for him, his stupidity didn’t need to go any further than that. Instead, the sound of his name on her lips pulled him off those thoughts and elsewhere, somewhere much better. “You’re definitely a woman…”

It was Jasper’s turn to mouth her name, only he didn’t speak it out loud. In his head, he did, and that was more than enough for him. It wasn’t like he’d forget her name. He doubted he would forget it and her any time soon. Eyes following her body’s movements, the spellcaster found her words hitting close to home. Too close. Was she the same? A kindred spirit? Or were those words more apt for the friend he had lost down the mines. “Yeah, well,” Jasper heaved a sigh, his mood turning gloomy, as he switched his full attention back to the counter, resting his whole weight on his forearm against the tabletop. “If someone can find us where we think they won’t, maybe that’ll help us find someone else we haven’t been able to find…” Or something like that.

“Yeah?” Devi frowned. Didn’t he say he was a fan of the Beatles? His question confused her in turn, but instead of just prodding him with any accusations, she began singing the familiar line of the should-have-been familiar song to him. “Blackbird singing in the dead of night…” she began, leaning back on her seat, her back against the counter, arms over the tabletop, her head bowing up and down with the imaginary tune only she could hear. “Take these broken wings and learn to fly!” 

“All your life!” A table near them started to sing along, surprising Devi but in a way that only motivated her to continue singing with them, a huge grin on her face. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise…” When the brief sing-along ended, everyone who had participated chuckled and raised their bottles for a cozy cheer. She then heaved a sigh of contentment, and took a swig from her bottle. “Damn right, I am. More woman than any man can handle.” Another chuckle. Before the professor switched gears and started acting all sad. 

Devi could relate: With all her past mistakes, regrets even, disappearing in a small town her old…acquaintances wouldn’t even think of visiting was the best idea she’s ever had. She doubted anyone could find her there. And would rather not sadness find the both of them where and when they were right then and there. “Or… Maybe they’ve already found us, eh? And they’re the someone we didn’t know we needed to find!”

There was never a moment in Jasper’s life where he felt the utmost relief, though if there had been, he couldn’t remember. More importantly, he was impressed. It dawned on him that the woman he was drinking with may be somewhat of a local celebrity. Definitely not just a random face on the street. He’d seen people try to start a sing-along at a bar before, and most of the time, it took great effort. Unless it was a sports thing, strangers barely sang with each other unprompted. Here, the woman didn’t even ask for anyone else to support her singing. They just did. Granted she was pretty, so there’s that… “Oh, yeah!” Jasper nodded, grinning, before taking a swig from his drink. “I remember that song. Classic.”

Was she hitting on him? That was the thought that immediately ran down Jasper’s tiny brain with her final sentiments. After that talk about a woman no man can handle, the geology professor was thinking that maybe she was offering herself up to him as a challenge? Was that sexist? Some backwards misogynistic thought? In a way, in a specific context, maybe. At the moment? He just wasn’t sure. He was too intoxicated to delve deeper into such notions. At least that’s the excuse he wanted to go with. Dangerous territory right there, and he was a rock guy, not a sociopolitical/humanities big brain person. “Maybe,” he grinned again, loosening up in his seat. “Maybe I can be that man who can handle all that woman? Worth a try.”

“Yeah?” Devi grinned, an eyebrow raised as she looked him over from head to toe. He didn’t look bad. Entirely way better than the last guy who tried to hit on her. Now that guy? That guy was a complete fool. Tried to grab her when she said no, so Devi grabbed him back and knocked him out cold. The rest of the bar laughed at his unconscious ass and cheered her on. Now that guy was banned for life from the Wormhole. Poor guy. Now he wouldn’t be able to show them he could change. Also he got hauled into the station, so she guessed, if he wasn’t from Worm Row, that would suck. Or not, depending on whether he had friends in high places. Unfair but that’s just the world for most people. “Think so?”

“Mmm, you’re not bad…” Devi teased before finishing the entirety of what remained in her bottle, leaving it empty if not for air. She heaved a sigh of relief, grinned and then nodded at the bartender, before turning to the professor again. “You’re not married, are you? In a relationship with someone else? Because I don’t do people who’re already with other people. Unless there’s consent, like one of those open relationship things, but even then, I’m not really one for sharing.” The last thing she wanted was to break up a home or someone else’s heart. The last person who tried lying to her about all that found their bones broken. “If not, do you want to pay for all these, so we can get out of here, Blackbird?”

“OH, I’m definitely not married,” Jasper let out a chuckle, much louder and larger than he ever expected to. When he realized that, he meekly apologized with an awkward grin. He wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for, but it felt like he should, so he did. “No relationships either. I was in one, with a coworker, but that did not end well.” He made sure to leave out the part where said coworker is still a coworker and still randomly shows up at his place whenever she feels like it. That was a weird situation, and he felt he didn’t need to add more weird in whatever this entire thing was. “So, nope, just me right now,” he shrugged. “...and my dog.”

Jasper lamented his mistake of adding that last line but decided it might have just added to his charm. Chicks digged dogs, right? Even though his was a total b-word. He was mid-sip when Devi insinuated what he thought she insinuated and almost spat out all the liquid. Without saying anything else, he scrambled for his wallet while at the same time calling for the bartender’s attention, rushing to pay for their drinks, for everything else, so they could go wherever she wanted them to go. Hopefully where he thought she wanted him. “Blackbird’s ready to fly!”

#wickedswriting #ᕚﮩﮩ٨ﮩ para ﮩ٨ﮩﮩᕘ #ᕚ jasper ﮩ langston ᕘ #ᕚ the ﮩ wormiest ﮩ holes ᕘ #ᕚ season one ﮩ canaries ᕘ

[kaitycole]

you broke me first (part 2)

Summary: You and Oikawa dated all three years of high school, that is until he broke up with you out of nowhere. Then three years later, you open the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment to find Oikawa there.

Word Count: 2825

Rating: Angst. Pinning. Mentions of anxiety. Talks of a break-up

Pairing: OIkawa x Female Reader (past tense), Iwaizumi x Female Reader

A/N: Fingers crossed I’m capturing these guys right lol I think maybe it’ll have one more part, I'm not sure. Let me know your thoughts though! 

Also, I’m thinking of having two different ending, let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in!

Song Choice: you broke me first by Tate McRae

Tag List: @yatoatyourservice​  

When Iwa finally gets back to his apartment, Oikawa is sprawled out on the floor on his phone. Shaking his head, he simply walks passed him, grabbing two beers from the fridge. He just knows he’s gonna need some.

“Oi. Here.”

Oikawa takes the beer, clinking it against Iwa’s before taking a sip. While the two of you were gone, Oikawa practically dissected all the posts on both your social media profiles. He came up empty, either you weren’t dating or weren’t making it public. It’s driving him crazy to not know, while he wasn’t expecting you to be here, he’d be lying if he said seeing you didn’t stir something up inside him. Didn’t make him rethink the last three years, comparing them to the three you spend together.

“How long as you in town?”

“A week.” He makes eye contact with Iwa, “But I’ll find somewhere else tomorrow.” Iwa shakes his head in protest, “Just stay in the spare room.” “Is Y/N okay with that?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow, trying to see how he react; but he’s stoic as usual.

He nods, “As long as you don’t act like shittykawa, I’m sure things will be fine.”

A few beers later and Iwa’s phone goes off, he excuses himself to take it. Oikawa leans back on the couch, trying to not think about you but failing.

------

It was just like every other day, an early chilly morning before school. You and Oikawa were sitting on a bench close to the school, he had just finished up a brief practice. He enjoyed this time with you, before the campus filled with tons of students especially his “fan club”.

“Oh, I brought you something!”

“Oh really? What is it, princess?” You pulled out a small bag and handed it to him: milk bread.

“Y/N, you’re the best. I love you.”

Your face turned bright pink.

“Oh, I…uhm…well, no, I love you.” He shrugs, “Wasn’t how I was planning on telling you.”

It made your heart skip, he had been planning on telling you that he loves you. And instead of some grand gesture or in some super overthought way, your dork of a boyfriend told you after getting milk break.

“You are such a dork.” You pulled him close and kissed him, “I love you too.”

There had been great days in Oikawa’s life; most of them included volleyball, but this day topped all of them. He draped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side and kissing the top of your head.

“Say it again?”

Your face turned even redder, it extended to the tops of your ears, “I love you, Toru.”

Oikawa could’ve died right there and he’d have been a happy man. You and volleyball are all he needed in life and luckily, he wouldn’t have to choose one over the other, right?

Two years and three months later, he had to choose one and it wasn’t you.

------

Iwa comes back into the living room, “That was Y/N. She’s back at her dorm.”

“When did she start calling you Hajime?” His voice is full of regret and Iwa instantly picks up on it; his heart sinking.

“I’m not really sure, sometime during our first year here I think.”

“You two are together, aren’t you?” Oikawa asks, not really wanting to hear the answer. His eyes are closed and he feels like he’s going to be sick.

“Yeah. We are.” Iwa rubs the back of his neck, he never intended to keep this from his best friend.

“How long?”

“Three months.” There were several days within those months that Iwa had dialed Oikawa’s number just to hang up or not bring it up. He wanted to tell him, there was nothing keeping him from it other than himself; there was just some mental block.

“Guess you picked up all the piece, eh?” Oikawa stands up, chugging the beer on the table before grabbing his bag. He tries to think of where he can go because he can’t stay here. He doesn’t want to hear about how Iwa was there to catch you when he had left.

“It wasn’t like that. We…she didn’t even talk to me that summer or the first few months of school.” Iwa hates thinking about how you were back then, remembering just how broken you were when Oikawa left.

“Then enlighten me.”

“You broke her, shattered her, destroyed her.” He runs his fingers through his hair, “You were it for her and when you just left she fell apart. I honestly thought she didn’t come to university until we had a class together the second part of our first year.”

When Oikawa first left, Iwa assumed you’d need a few days to adjust, but it was after a few weeks that he tried reaching out. You ignored him. He eventually swung by your job at a local convenient store, only to find out that you had quit. When he went to see you at home, your mom had been the one to tell him of the break-up and that you had gone to stay with your aunt in Tokyo for the summer.

Iwa sits down, elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. Oikawa drops his bag, he didn’t realize how hard the break-up had hit you. With him going abroad, he thought it’d be easier for you. Though it hadn’t been easier for him either.

“I felt horrible, she’d become my best friend through high school and there she was and I didn’t know the slightest thing about her anymore. So, I sat next to her, made study plans with her, invited her to meals; anything that I knew she’d agree to and not see as unnecessary like parties.” He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

Iwa tells Oikawa about how you’d practically jump each time your phone went off, praying that it was Oikawa. How you flinched every time someone brought up volleyball or when people would eagerly ask you if you knew Oikawa when they learned where you went to high school. Or that you missed two days of classes when she learned he had injured his bad knee again and that it was almost a year later when you actually gave Iwa a sincere smile and laugh.

Iwa doesn’t look up Oikawa as he recounts the last few years; part of him want his best friend to feel guilty and miserable, but the other part of him feels guilty for wanting that. He recalls the time when you called him first to make plans that didn’t include the library, studying or a lecture.

He laughs, “You know she came in here about a year and a half ago now, randomly telling me she hated all my furniture and over the next four months, she had completely redecorated the apartment.” Oikawa smirks, that sounded just like you.

Oikawa continues listening to Iwa. Learning that it may have taken you a bit longer than expected, but you learned to be happy again. That a day came where you could hear his name again without cringing and how one random night you brought up a memory of the three of you out of the blue. Oikawa isn’t sure if the ache in his chest is still from hearing about how you were or from the proud smile Iwa sports talking about you.

He stands up, once again picking up his bag before nodding his head towards the hallway. “I’m beat.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Iwa stands up, motioning his friend towards the guest room.

In three separate beds lay three individuals, minds all filled with a mix of worries, regrets, and memories. In the room at the end of the hall is Iwa, trying to convince himself that laying in the middle of the bed will prevent him from missing you. It’s been months since he’s slept alone; even before an official relationship, you slept in his apartment. It started by innocently crashing on the couch after a long day to Iwa saying you could keep a few things in the spare room until the start of your third year of university, about six months ago, when you found yourself in Iwa’s bed, cuddled to his side.

It’s not until his head hits the pillow that he finally realizes why he couldn’t tell Oikawa about the two of you; he never wanted Oikawa to think he liked you during high school. He didn’t want his best friend to try to tear apart every memory, wondering if Iwa had ever tried to sabotage the two of you. He didn’t want him feeling that all his advice through your relationship was in hopes to break you two up. Because that wasn’t the case, although he couldn’t pin point when he had fallen for you, he knew without a doubt that he didn’t look or think about you in that way during your time with Oikawa. All Iwa wanted in the world was for you and Oikawa to be happy.

Just down the hall, Oikawa finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed thinking about what Iwa has just told him. He didn’t want to imagine you the broke mess he learned you had been, it’s what got him through the last three years. It was the immature reason why when he got on the plane, he didn’t glance back. He falls back on the bed, his face in his hands as he lets out a groan. This isn’t what he expected when he came to visit, he thought he and Iwa would hang out, talk about old times, and just have a good time; seeing his ex-girlfriend aka the only girl he’s ever loved was not part of his plans.

He doesn’t like that Iwa was the one who helped you get through the break-up. He doesn’t like that you were completely destroyed. He doesn’t like that three years ago he took the coward’s way out and broke up with you. Seeing you just brought up all the feelings he’d been burying for these last few years, reminding him of all the reasons why the two of you fit together so well and why he fell in love with you. And he definitely doesn’t like feeling like he’s too late because all he wants is to beg for you back. He groans again, wanting for just a moment that he could turn off his thoughts.

Across the city you’re in your college dorm room, laying on the uncomfortable twin mattress that creaks every time you roll over to adjust. Even when you move as slowly as possible, it squeaks and you feel awful for your roommate; even though she’s assured you that she can’t hear a thing. Tonight isn’t going how you originally planned, you woke up this morning thinking that you’d spend the night at Iwa’s, wake up early to him cooking breakfast and then rush to campus to work on your project. But with the slight turn of events, you probably won’t eat until lunch and be early to your group project.

There’s a pit in your stomach, thinking back to the moment you opened the door to see your ex-boyfriend standing there; looking way too good for someone that you wanted to hate. You smack your hands to your face letting out a low groan as your mind wanders. You have worked so hard to get over Oikawa; to be able to breathe and live again after he just left you. His sun-tanned skin, soft brown eyes, all have your stomach in knots and you don’t realize just how long you’ve been holding your breath until your phone vibrates.

Oikawa: You awake? (2:34 am)

Oikawa: It’s Oikawa Toru (2:34 am)

Oikawa: I’m so sorry if you’re sleeping (2:35 am)

Your stomach twists more, surely this was a coincidence and not the universe sending you a sign, right?

Y/N: Did you just send your ex a ‘you up’ text? (2:39 am)

Y/N: Classily Toru (2:39 am)

He sharply inhales, the use of his first name leaves him shocked. All night you had avoided his name altogether, going to the lengths of talking to the wooden table, but here you were using his first name. He has two favorite sounds: a volleyball smacking his hand and the way you say his name, especially his first name. You stare at the text, mentally kicking yourself for the slip up, but it felt comfortable.

Oikawa: I didn’t mean it like that (2:41 am)

Oikawa: Just wanted to talk (2:41 am)

Your hands shake as your thumbs hover over where the J and D are located. Could you? Could you just talk to Oikawa? Act as if he didn’t carelessly toss everything in the closest airport trashcan as he walked towards his gate three years ago? Could you talk to him like you did back when you first met and had become friends? Before you have time to type anything, it buzzes again in your hand and your chest constricts.

Oikawa: I know this is three years late (2:45 am)

Oikawa: And this won’t mean much at all (2:45 am)

Oikawa: Wait, I’m going to call. Hold on (2:46 am)

His hands start to sweat, feeling clammy as he tries to calm his nerves. You start to slightly panic before practically jumping out of bed and rushing into the bathroom. The light blinds you momentarily and the door clicks shut just as his name pops up on your screen, your phone buzzing repeatedly.

Taking one last breath you swipe the screen, putting your phone to your ear, “Hello?

He picks up on the shakiness of your voice, hoping his will sound more still, “Hey.”

Your stomach is all but completely knotted up as his voice fills your mind. It’s soft, like it usually was right before school in the early mornings or when he answered the phone right after he woke up. But you pick up on how it shakes just like yours, wondering what has him so nervous.

“Y/N, I am so sorry.”

“It’s…” he cuts you off.

“Wait, please let me get this all out.”

You nod, instantly realizing he can’t see you.

“An apology won’t ever be enough for what I did. What I put you through. But I am so sorry.”

Tears gently fall down your face, you wanted those words for years. Dreamed about hearing him call and apologize, saying that he made a mistake. Here you were, squatting on the floor in your dorm bathroom at nearly 3 am getting exactly what you wanted all those years ago, but is it what you need now?

“I know and I forgive Toru.” You feel winded, wondering if you really did forgive him. You know that you did, you had years ago because it was once you did that you started to feel better.

There’s a wide smile on his face, “Thank you, Y/N. Could we maybe get together? To just catch up, that is.”

“I have a project tomorrow, but I’m free Sunday.” You bite your lip nervously, but feel your stomach untwist only to fill with butterflies? Are you allowed to get butterflies with an ex? Maybe they were more like moths.

“Sunday. It’s a date then.” He catches his words just as they leave him, he leans against the wall feeling like an idiot. You were dating his best friend, he needed to word things more carefully, he didn’t want to come between you and Iwa.

“Yeah. A date.” You don’t think twice about the term, it was just an expression.

What you also didn’t think twice about is that the room Oikawa is in shares a wall with Iwa’s. The exact wall that Oikawa is leaning up against and the same Iwa who heard just enough of the conversation to feel heartbroken.

This was part of the reason when he tried telling you where Oikawa had been planning to stay, he didn’t correct your when you said girlfriend even though he knew that wasn’t correct. He was going to stay with his sister, but his nephew was sick and he didn’t want to risk it. The same way Iwa didn’t want to risk giving Oikawa an in with you. He trusts you, more than anything, but that doesn’t stop his insecurities from creeping in convincing him that he’s not worthy of anything; especially not someone like you.

When he asked you if you were still okay with dating him, it was more for him than you. He needed to know that he hadn’t been some last stitch way for you to hold onto Oikawa. That you had picked him for him, you had picked Iwaizumi Hajime and not Iwa-chan Oikawa’s best friend. And now at 3:10 am, those same insecurities wrap around him as he can’t help but wonder if your relationship is on stolen time.

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[superbadassnatural]

A Night to Remember

Summary: After downing many shots of whiskey, the boys and Y/N find themselves having fun with a “teenage game”. Yep, Sam, Dean, and Cas get to play truth or dare. Square filled: Crossdressing Pairing: Dean x Reader; if you squint, you’ll find slightly implied Sam x Reader and Dean x Castiel Word count: 1,482 Warnings: implied smut, mentions of kinks, masturbation and threesome, goofy TFW A/N: this was written for @spntfwbingo​​. Hope you enjoy it.

(x)

After many shots of whiskey and some of tequila — which only you drank —, you, your boyfriend Dean, Sam, and Cas were laughing at every and anything as you sat around the map table. Friday night and you all just decided to let loose and get drunk.

“Okay, okay,” you gushed between giggles as the three of them tried to calm down after one of Cas’ jokes. “I think we should play truth or dare.”

“Y/N-“ Sam started but you quickly interrupted him.

“C’mon, Sammy,” you whined. “It’ll be fun!”

“I’m with Y/N on that,” Dean added, patting your thigh.

“So who wants to start?” none of them answered. “Alrighty, I’ll go,” you rolled your eyes. “Sammy, truth or dare?

“Truth.”

“Which one of us do you think has the worst fashion sense?”

“Cas,” he giggled. Castiel stared at him, clearly offended. “C’mon man, you wear the same clothes every day.”

The room filled with laughter.

“Alright, my turn,” Cas leaned on the table. “Dean, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“When was the last time you peed in bed?”

“I have never peed in bed,” he exclaimed. Wide jade eyes staring back at the angel. Sam scoffed a laugh. “What are you laughing at? It’s true.”

“No, it isn’t. You were twelve, man. At least that’s the last time I saw you wake up on a wet mattress.”

“That wasn’t pee, Sammy,” a smirk appearing on Dean’s lips.

“Of course it was,” Sam gave his brother his best bitch face. “It smelled like pee, Dean.”

“Okay, okay,” he grumbled with a roll of his eyes. “But don’t you ever tell this to anyone,” he pointed his finger to each of you. “Y/N, truth or dare?”

“Since you boys are too coward to pick dare, I’ll do it,” you snapped. “Dare me, Winchester,” you winked at him, trying to give him a sensual look, but making a total fool of yourself.

“I dare you, sweetheart, to have a teaspoon of ghost pepper,” he wiggled his brows at you.

“Okay,” you tried to sound natural as a shiver ran down your spine.

He ran to the kitchen and got back with a generous teaspoon of ghost pepper and a glass of milk. You frowned. Why did he bring you a glass of milk instead of water?

“Water only spreads the heat. Milk helps,” he said as if he was able to read your mind. “Alright, open up.”

Once the pepper hit your tastebuds, your whole body was on fire. Sweat broke on your forehead. Grimacing, you swallowed it all. Dean removed the spoon from your mouth, trying his best not to laugh or he would find himself in some serious trouble.

“Gosh, this is horrible,” you managed to say as you reached for the glass of milk, chugging it down. “Whoa this actually works.”

And the game moved on.

“So Cas, say something dirty to the person in front of you,” Sam challenged Cas.

“Dean, I think you’d look really nice on my angel blade,” Cas said in all seriousness while he narrowed his eyes at the hunter.

You and Sam completely lost it. You were almost knocked out of your chair. Sam was laughing hysterically and could barely catch his breath. Cas’ line was golden and Dean’s reaction was priceless. His eyes were totally wide and his eyebrows were shot up and his mouth had an “o” shape. He did not expect that. Neither of you did.

“Cas, you’re awesome,” you managed to say between giggles as you fanned at yourself. Happy tears were prickling in your eyes. “Alright. Sam, truth or dare?”

“Truth,”

“Do you have any kinks, Samuel?” you wiggled your brows. An asymmetric grin making its way to your lips. “If you do, then share with us.” Sam sighed.

“I do actually,” he shrugged. “Bondage, voyeurism, and edging.”

“Didn’t need to know that,” Dean muttered, taking a swig of his beer.

“Not gonna lie, those are some of my favorites too,” you winked.

The game went on and Dean found himself with four ice cubes inside his boxers after his brother dared him. Cas let you draw a dick on his flushed cheek, so now every time you looked at him, you couldn’t keep a straight face. Eventually, the boys figured out that once your mom caught you masturbating, and apparently Sam’s top three turn-ons were: playing with his hair, wearing red and striptease. Dean now doesn’t want you to wear anything read near Sam.

“Which of us would you like to kiss, sweetheart?” Dean asked you.

“You, of course,” you pecked his lips. “See, just did that.”

“Aside from me,”

“I’d kiss any of them, but I’m gonna go with Sam. ‘Cause then I’ll be able to say I’ve had a taste of both Winchester’s.”

“Is that on your bucket list or something?” Sam asked.

“It can be if you want to.” you winked.

“Dean, what’s a secret you’ve never told Y/N?” Cas asked and your boyfriend cursed under his breath.

“Now that’s interesting.”

“I’ve had a threesome once,” he admitted, taking in the look on your face. “Twice actually,” his hand came up to rub the back of his neck. The tip of his ears turning into a bright shade of red.

“Hmm, that’s sounds like fun. Maybe we should try that sometime, huh?” you winked, a smirk appearing on your lips.

“Nah, I wouldn’t share you with anyone,” he wrapped his arm around you, tugging you to him and kissing the side of your head.

“Now Y/N,” Sam exclaimed, still figuring what dare he could make up for you. “Let us look through your phone for 2 minutes.”

You shrugged, unlocking your phone and handing it to them.

“No one’s gonna look her photos. That’s a no-zone.” Dean announced, making his way to his brother and best friend as they searched through your phone.

They made fun of your texts and your taste for game apps. You’d certainly hear for a long time them mocking you for being on level 474 of Candy Crush. Argh, guilty pleasures…

It was getting really late and you were growing tired. You all decided to go for one last round and call it a night.

“Dean,” Sam started. “You and Y/N are crossdressing.”

“Why do you have to drag me into this?”

“C’mon Y/N/N, it’ll be fun,” he tried to convince you.

You and Dean headed to your shared bedroom. You knew exactly which of his clothes you were going to pick for you. But for him? Dean’s a big guy so your clothes would be a little tight on him.

“Alright, are you guys ready for a show?” you yelled across the hallway. You and Dean were out of the boys’ sight.

You walked down the hall as if you were modeling for Victoria’s Secrets. Except you were on Dean’s denim shorts and his white tank top under his unbuttoned blue flower shirt. To make it even more glamorous, you added his sunglasses and his beige summer hat that covered your messy bun and his gigantic flip-flops.

“So how do I look, boys?” you stopped in front of them. A hand on your hips as you spun for them to have a full glance at your outfit.

“You look awesome, Y/N,” Sam said. “But I have a feeling that two Y/N would fit in there.”

You chuckled.

“Dean, come out, honey,” you called for him.

Dean started to walk down the hall with his head held high. He was feeling as he was a famous top model right now.

The boys completely lost it when they saw him wearing your gray pencil skirt that was a little higher up on his thighs. His bowlegs in full display. He wore a buttoned white shirt that clung too tight to his broad chest. The buttons barely keeping it together. Unfortunately, your pantsuit didn't fit him, so he put on his own FBI suit. You handed him your reading glasses. His plump lips held a vibrant red lipstick. To make him look even better, you had him put on a long, wavy black wig.

“Argh, she’s gorgeous,” you sighed, trying to keep from laughing as he winked at you.

Dean spun for you to see his whole outfit.

“Ah, this is horrible and hilarious at the same time,” Sam chuckled, pulling his phone out to snap as many pictures as he could of his brother.

You joined Dean in front of the camera. Striking many silly poses. Dean still tried not to make any crude movements that could tear your skirt apart.

The sound of your mixed waves of laughter and giggles filled the war room. All four of you were having so much fun that you managed to forget what was going on outside these walls. You were having fun with your boyfriend and your friends. And God knows how much you all needed that. After you all recover from the pain in the ass hangover tomorrow will bring, you could dig into another case. But for now, you just need to enjoy your time as a family.

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[fic-for-fic-sake]

Does Your Mother Know

A/N: Peter is 18 in this, nothing inappropriate. Age gap. You’re like 25, he’s 18. Also yes I got the inspiration while watching Mamma Mia. 

Pairing: Peter x reader 

Even though the Avengers now had an upstate facility you were staying at the tower for the time being. You were working on your masters degree in neuroscience at Columbia, so Stark offered an available room in the tower, of which you were grateful. You had cringed at the thought of having to take a car into the city for your classes every other day but Tony hadn’t thought twice about setting you up at the tower, claiming you could keep a watchful eye on everything. 

What you didn’t know, what Tony conveniently forgot to tell you was that Peter was also staying in the tower. He started his freshmen year at NYU for Biophysics. It’s not that you had a problem with Peter, not at all. You had known him since he was 15 and Stark recruited his help at the airport in Germany, but Peter had developed a bit of a crush on you. Which more than weirded you out. He was only seven years younger than you but the thought of dating an 18 year old made you balk, it felt wrong. 

Most times you could steer clear of Peter, claiming you had research to do (which wasn’t completely untrue) or saying that you were going out with your friends when really you were hiding at your friends apartment, avoiding him. After the tenth visit to your friends apartment she officially banned you for your own good. And she was right. You just had to tell Peter you weren’t interested in him like that, it should be easy. 

The next morning you readied yourself to talk to him. Practiced phrases over and over in your head until they sounded right. You wanted to let him down gently, he was still your friend after all. And you wanted to make it perfectly clear that this didn’t have to mean the end of your friendship, you could move past this amicably. All of those thoughts left your mind when you walked into the kitchen to see Peter chugging a glass of water. 

Your mouth went dry. He was only wearing a pair of gym shorts slung lowly on his hips, giving your eyes the perfect chance to glimpse the v that was prominent. You also got a very close look at his abs which were, um, impressive to say the least. You maneuvered your way around him to get a coffee mug and start making your brew for the day, your mind now muddled. He refilled his glass once more and then gently pressed his hand against your lower back before moving behind you, “I’m just gonna sneak by you.” His voice husked in your ear. 

You’re so hot, teasing me. So you’re blue but I can’t take a chance on a kid like you. It’s somethin’ I couldn’t do. 

You coughed to cover up the shock as you filled your mug with coffee. You didn’t bother to say anything, much less risk a glance in his direction, as you added milk and sugar to your drink. You knew what he was playing at, you just shook your head and laughed before turning around to go back to your room, conversation be damned. 

But like the dutiful enhanced human he was, he was in front of you in a second, blocking your path with his lithe but toned body. He leaned against the wall casually, like he had done this hundreds of times. 

“Don’t I get a ‘good morning’?” Peter asked jokingly, cocking his head to the side. You could see mirth in those chocolate eyes of his and you wanted nothing more than to wipe the expression off of his face. You just rolled your eyes as you walked around him, giving his half naked body a wide berth. 

There’s that look, in your eyes. I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild. Oh but boy you’re only a child.

You had been around the block enough times to know what that expression meant on a guy. Hell, you had given that expression yourself once or twice, enough times to know that nothing good, or rational, ever followed. You were saving the both of you an even more awkward conversation than the one you had actually worked out in your mind. 

“Good Morning Peter.” You responded in a singsong tone as you walked back to your room, hot coffee in hand. You could hear his resounding chuckle as you closed your door and prepared for the day. 

An hour later, as you were preparing to leave for class you got a text from the Iron Man himself. 

Stopping by later today for a little get together. Nothing major, just a few friends. Tell Pete

You rolled your eyes as you typed your response. For Tony, “little get together” meant the whole damn team. Here. In your apartment. You made sure to have a cleaning crew come by the tidy up while you were out. You were about to send a text to Peter when you literally ran into him while going to the elevator. 

He caught you, hands gently but firmly pressed against your shoulders as he helped you right yourself. 

“Woah, where’s the fire?” He questioned, warm brown eyes meeting your own. 

“Class, and then back early because apparently we’re having company tonight.” You explained to him as the elevator opened and you both walked inside. Peter was standing closer to you than usual but not close enough for you to comment on it so you let it slide, for now anyway. You had enough to deal with. 

That night you had come back to the tower at 6pm sharp. You were thankful that the cleaning crew was gone and left the place looking spotless. You had two hours to go before Tony and whoever else arrived so you took the time to relax and unwind. You played music as you took a shower and tried to pick out something to wear. You weren’t sure what you were in the mood for until you saw the perfect dress. 

It was a button down shirt dress that stopped mid thigh. The best part was that it was in royal blue, Peter’s favorite color. Just because you didn’t want to date him didn’t mean you couldn’t have fun. He sure had a hell of a good time teasing you this morning. It was time to give him a taste of his own medicine. You grabbed a deep tan belt to wrap around your waist and didn’t bother to do much with your hair. You painted your lips a deep cherry color before adding small diamond studs to your ears. You looked at the clock and it read 7:55, perfect timing. 

You came into the main area where Peter was sitting on the couch wearing a striped button down of his own and dark wash jeans. He stood at attention when you walked into the room and you could feel his eyes roam over your body. You gave him a coy smile and fluttered your lashes before the elevator door opened. Tony spilled out along with the team each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. 

Rolling your eyes you made your way over to Tony who was already directing where everyone should place the numerous pizza boxes and different cases of beer, hard cider, spiked seltzer, and other kinds of mixed drinks. Honestly, after the week you had, you were more than grateful for this but you would never let Tony know that. 

“I thought you said a ‘little’ get together.” You said, a twinge of a whine in your voice. 

Tony smiled as he threw an arm over your shoulder and gestured at the team, “There’s only like what, 12 people here. Relax.” He pressed a kiss into your hair before going off and grabbing a slice of pepperoni from Nat. 

You were happy to watch the lovely chaos unfold before you but then Bucky was walking towards you, a hard cider in his hand. 

“Ugh you’re the best I love you.” You moaned to your best friend as you opened the can and took a generous swig. Bucky was your best friend on the team and even though you were glad to be living in the city and thus close to campus, you were bummed that it meant you couldn’t see Bucky as much. 

“Careful sweetheart, don’t let Pete overhear ya.” Bucky teased, opening a beer for himself. You shook your head at his antics, because he knew how much it was on your mind. You, of course, had told him about it and he, being very unhelpful, told you that you could probably stand to get laid. 

“You know what, I take it back, I hate you.” You replied before going into the kitchen closet and pulling out a cooler. Bucky helped you load it up with ice before you took it to where the alcohol was. Bucky made some lame ass excuse about checking in on Steve as Peter headed in your direction. You silently cursed him as he walked away. 

“Mind if I take a beer?” Peter asked, gesturing to the brews in the cooler. 

“Aren’t you a little young Pete?” You teased, reaching inside to get him one anyway. 

“I’m old enough.” He replied brazenly before taking the beer from your hands, letting his fingers brush up against yours. 

Well I can dance with ya honey, if you think it’s funny, but does your mother know that you’re out?

Fine, two could play at this game. You, having finished your cider alarmingly fast, reached down for a spiked seltzer this time, fully aware of Peter’s eyes on you the whole time. 

“It’s getting a little warm in here don’t you think?” You questioned, as you lifted the cool can and pressed it against the column of your throat, moaning a little bit as you did so. Peter’s Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he watched you slide the aluminum across your skin and the trail of condensation it left behind. 

You took that feeling of satisfaction with you all the way to the couch where everyone else was chatting about their latest missions. 

“Ugh I wish I could be on missions with you guys, getting a masters is hard.” 

“But the work you’re doing is literally groundbreaking. I would argue that it’s more important than what we do on the field.” Steve replied, ready to cheer you up, and you were glad for it. 

“I agree, I think you’re doing great work.” Peter said casually, as he sat in the vacant spot next to you, opposite Sam. 

“Hey Pete, how’s freshmen year going? Meet any cute girls?” Sam teased and you internally groaned. You wanted to smack Sam. He knew what he was doing. 

“The girls at school don’t really interest me,” Peter began, placing a hand on your bare knee and rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin, “I’m into someone else.” 

“Oh yeah.” Bucky teased, eyes narrowing in on Peter’s hand. “What about you doll? You into anyone right now?” Oh you could kill him. You could murder Bucky and you’re pretty sure nobody would stop you. 

“Well...there is someone.” You started, at this Peter’s hand stilled, waiting for your reply. 

I can chat with ya maybe, flirt a little baby, but does your mother know that you’re out?

“Really?” Peter choked next to you. 

“Mhm,” you started, “But I don’t know if I should give him a shot or not?” 

“And why’s that?” Bucky asked, knowing damn well what you were doing. You gave a small smile before you answered. 

“I need someone...with experience in certain things. And he's younger, so I don’t know if he’s qualified for the job. If you know what I mean.” You responded, letting the implication of your words hang in the air. 

Bucky choked on his beer and Peter removed his hand from your leg all together. You smiled. That should buy you some space, or so you thought. Twenty minutes had passed before you got up to use the bathroom. The team hardly noticed, they had picked a movie to watch and everyone seemed pretty glued to the TV. There was only an acknowledgement from Bucky to bring him another beer when you got back. 

You checked your phone in the bathroom and gave yourself a once over in the mirror before you planned to head back out. The only problem was that when you opened the door, a very determined looking Peter was standing on the other side of it. 

“Can we talk?” He asked, voice soft. You conceded and he walked into the bathroom with you before you closed the door again. You turned around to find him staring at you, brown eyes now a liquid amber shade. You didn’t say a word as he moved towards you until your back was pressed against the bathroom wall. He brought a hand up to rest it over your shoulder, pressed against the wall. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, gaze locking with his. 

“I think you know.” Was all he said in response, as he leaned in closer to you. You just shook your head as you rested your hands on the planes of his chest and then ran them up to rest on his shoulders. 

“What do you want Peter?” You asked again. 

“I want you. I want to kiss you.” He admitted. And maybe it was his honesty, maybe it was because you had been teasing each other all day, or maybe it was because you hadn’t had more than one drink in a while, but mostly it was because you wanted to see how far he was willing to take this, so you said, “then do it.” 

He pressed his lips to yours in a gentle, if not unsure, kiss. But you were having none of it. You made up your mind and you were done with his teasing. If he wanted to kiss then you were going to give him the kiss of a lifetime. You threaded your fingers through his hair and pressed your body against his own as you deepened the kiss. You felt his arms wrap around your waist and you moaned your appreciation against his lips. 

You gently coaxed his mouth open with your tongue and wasted no time in exploring every inch of him, enjoying the throaty moan that followed. You walked him backwards until he got the idea and sat on top of the toilet seat, with you in his lap. Your lips never left his as you undid the buttons on his shirt and started to kiss the newly exposed skin, appreciating the deep lipstick shade that marred his otherwise perfect complexion. You moved off of  his lap as your hands found his belt buckle and began to undo it. 

“Woah, are you sure?” He asked, his face flushed and hair mused from your hands. 

Take it easy, better slow down boy, take it nice and slow. Does your mother know?

You cocked your head to one side and rested your hands on his upper thighs before you spoke. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted? I can’t think of another reason why you keep teasing me.” You whispered in a husky voice, looking at him through your lashes. The picture of submission. Before he got to answer there was a knock at the bathroom door. 

“Doll are you still in there? I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.” Bucky called from the other side and you had to fight the giggle that made its way up your throat. Of course Bucky knew what was happening here. You pressed a finger to your lips for Peter to be quiet before you answered. 

“I’m in the middle of something, I’ll be out in a minute.” You called back. You heard Bucky say something under his breath before you heard his footsteps recede back into the main room. Suddenly you got up from your knees and went in the mirror to wipe off your lipstick and fix your hair. 

“Well, this was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.” You mused to a confused Peter who had a mixture of a shocked and frustrated look on his face. 

“Wait, where are you going?” He asked as you unlocked the bathroom door and made for the hallway. 

“To watch the movie with the team.” You said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “See ya out there.” You gave him a wink before you walked back into the main room and sat down next to Bucky who gave you a knowing smile. Peter came out five minutes later and took a spot on the floor next to Tony who asked him where the hell he’d been. Pete looked like a goldfish as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, looking for something to say, before he came up with an excuse and Tony went back to watching the movie. 

You were curled into Bucky’s side with his arm wrapped around you when you felt Peter’s eyes on you again, giving you a questioning look. You only gave him a smirk and a wink in return before turning your attention back to the movie. 

Does your mother know, does your mother know that you’re out?

#peter parker x reader #peter x reader #mcu fanfic #avengers fanfic #song fanfic #peter parker x you

[duallygirl178]

Dearest O'Malley chapter 21

Chapter 21

Sweetie-Pie was talking to me that she was going on a trip for a few weeks. Since I knew Robin’s birthday was coming up, I guess it would be okay to have some guy time. Sweetie-Pie looked at me concerned and said; “Will you be okay without me a few weeks?” I met her gaze and said; “Oh yes, I’ll be fine. I have Robin’s birthday coming up and he wanted to try out my video-game device by playing games and watching NETFLIX. I have plenty of fish to fry.” Sweetie-Pie smiled understandingly and said; “Okay. I’ll see you in a few weeks.” then she kissed me good-bye for now and left. When I told her the boys about her trip, I knew it would be just me and the guys again. Gonzo already arranged out some things to do. Gonzo, Robin and I were hanging out at Gonzo’s house making a list together in private. We listed things we could do together to have fun on Robin’s birthday and for our next video. Gonzo  got our attention and said; “I have a perfect  idea to pass the time to not be bored.” Robin giggled, tossed a crumbled up newspaper at Gonzo and said; “Oh yeah? Like what? Having a ‘who’s bigger’ engine contest?” Gonzo tossed the crumpled up page back at Robin and said; “No. we’ll take turns pranking each other . For instance, we’ll take one day to pull a prank on the three of us. Then the next , we’ll take two weeks  of having pranks. First O’Malley will prank you, then me and so on.” I looked at Robin as we were laying outside on the grass and said; “Sounds like fun.” Robin looked at me back and said; “Yeah, let’s do it.” so we drove to Robin’s house to hang out.

That same day, Gonzo and I pulled a prank on Robin during lunch at his house. Robin had coffee brewing nice and hot while Robin  was cooking a casserole. He was keeping his eye on it while timing it in his head. So when Robin wasn’t paying attention, I poured NESQIUCK chocolate milk mix into the coffee pot and stirred it up. When Robin took the casserole out, he poured himself a cup of decaf coffee and sipped it. He looked at it weird, smelled it, and tasted it again. He smacked his chops and said; “Why does my coffee taste like chocolate?” Gonzo and I tried  not to laugh. I had something to say, but I kept a straight face and said; “What do you mean?” Robin smelled his coffee, took another sip and said; “my coffee. It has some kind of wrong flavor to it. I bought vanilla bean roast coffee. I’m not sure if it’s the coffee I bought or the creamer. I don’t think I care about it.” Robin took another sip and I said; “Well if you hate it, stop drinking it.” Robin set the cup down, picked it up again and drank some more of it. I thought Robin didn’t care for the coffee that he was drinking, but I believed it tasted good and yucky at the same time, it was actually enjoyable. I looked at Gonzo who was just about to burst out laughing and was trying hard not to laugh. I looked at Robin who was still drinking his coffee, giggled and said; “Dude, stop drinking it. I thought you didn’t care for it.” Robin made another gross face that was priceless and said; “Something’s wrong with that coffee. I know it.” Finally Gonzo and I laughed. It was momentarily   a bust in the gut. I looked at Gonzo and looked at Robin and said; “I got you, man. I dumped some NESQUIK in your whole coffee pot.” Robin dumped out his mug in the sink as Gonzo and I laughed. Robin rinsed out his mug and said; “Oh! No wonder my coffee didn’t taste right.” Gonzo was laughing  so hard that he fell down. I laughed too because it was always  good to see that once in a long time, we can prank each other. Still laughing, Gonzo got up and Robin pushed him down as he laughed too. I was even laughing so hard I had a tear falling out of my eye. Robin guffawed  and said; “I’m gong to get you back  for that, O’Malley.”

The next day, it was Gonzo’s turn to be pranked. In the afternoon, Robin and I used Natalie’s cell phone to prank call Gonzo at my house. I dialed Gonzo’s number and disguised my voice as a woman’s voice so Gonzo would think a random woman was calling him. When Gonzo picked up the  line and said; “Hello, this is Gonzo Continental, who is this speaking?” Robin went to a different room and laughed while I took a deep breath to keep from laughing. Calmly and seductively, I said; “Hello there big boy, my name is Ellen Christina. I’m looking for somebody white as snow and a Lincoln.”   I added in my best woman giggle, but Robin almost laughed, he went outside to guffaw, Gonzo didn’t hear it. He was too busy on the other end of the conversation breathing heavily and hardily, like if he were to be possessed by a ghost. Gonzo cleared his throat  and said; “I’m a Lincoln and I’m white as snow. My name is Gonzo.” oh man, this was too easy!  I looked at Robin snickering  while covering the phone with the tread of my front tire so Gonzo didn’t hear a thing while tempting not to chuckle out loud. I uncovered the phone and said in my best woman‘s voice; “Hmm Gonzo, I like that name. What do you do?” Gonzo paused. I think Gonzo was having a bashful spaz and maybe that’s why he was pausing for five seconds. I waited to see what else I could hear and said; “I hang out with my two friends, Robin and O’Malley. We like to hang out a lot, drink beer, go to town, and cruise around.” I smiled at Robin, winked at him and pretended I was a woman some more. I covered my smile and said; “Wow, what are you like in person?” Gonzo was silent again for 3 minutes and said; “I’m older than 30 years and I got two doors. I ’m handsome too.” I almost laughed out loud, but I held onto it. Then I heard; “Hello? Miss Ellen.” Quickly, I hung up and guffawed as Robin fell to the floor laughing. I returned to my normal voice and said; “It was a good thing I hung up the phone before I could start laughing. Did you hear him breathing on the phone? He sounding like he ran out of breath.” Robin slapped his front tire on the carpet as he laughed. He breathed in and said: “oh man…O’Malley…I’m so glad I met you. That was the best prank I ever saw. We sure cat-fished him good.” we bumped tires to say ‘good job’ and settled down a minute.

The next day, I woke up knowing, I was next. I was a bit nervous about what Gonzo and Robin were going to do. It just so happens when I get nervous, I get jumpy. Gonzo and Robin came over with grins that got me more nervous than ever. I looked at the two of them but Robin said; “Relax, man. We brought you some gasoline to drink so you’ll feel all energized all day long or wherever you’re going.” it was like Robin read my mind. Robin gave me a red gasoline tank with a blue bow on top of it. Something was mighty fishy  with this picture. I opened the can and smelled it. The odor was normal and seemed to be okay. I had a sip of it to see if it had anything suspicious added to it. Ironically, it didn’t taste wrong like it was messed with. Although, it did have a hint of something in it that was a big difference. I sampled a second sip of it, swished it in my mouth swallowed it and said: “This is really kind of you to bring me some gasoline. But what were you two planning to get me with?” Robin smiled like there wasn’t anything wrong and said; “Oh, we decided it couldn’t wait until later to get you.” I took another drink to taste out the answer to the hint that was hiding in the gasoline and when I found it, I said: “This is decaf. You better not be planning to take pictures of me in vegetable suits for the internet.” I felt moody all of a sudden. I started to twitch a little and my eyes began to wink one at a time rapidly. I chugged down the entire gasoline gallon and threw it over their hoods irritated. I felt a quick sense of calming down. My eyes stopped winking rapidly after three seconds. I looked at them strange and was about to say something. Robin and Gonzo tried not to laugh. I looked at them both twice and said; “What?” Robin stopped smiling and said; “Oh nothing.” then, I started to suspect that they did something to the fuel in which I drank and boy, was I was a fool to fall for the prank. I was twitching a little bit and said; “What’d ya’ll do?” Gonzo giggled and said; “nothing. We were remembering a joke that you’ll hear later.” my eyes rolled and I was starting to wink again. I had the jitters. I started to get a jolt of energy. I soon knew I was dashing around the inside house uncontrollably. I had all this frisky energy. I jumped on the couch and sprinted over the coffee table. It was  almost like I was suspended in mid air when I flew over the tables. I dashed for the master bedroom, jumped on the bed and shot out of there like a space rocket. I ran to the laundry room and back, passing Gonzo and Robin who were laughing to their knees.  I bolted out of the door and ran around outside the house unable to be still. I jumped the fence, spooked Ol’ Reliable and turbo boosted over him. I sped down the street and back until finally I flew over the gate like The General Lee. I  passed out fully on the grass.

Two hours later, I woke up still faced down on the grass where I was before. Robin and Gonzo were laughing at me. I felt like my old self and I looked at Robin. He was swinging the gas can smiling and waiting for something to happen. I looked at Gonzo too and said; “Would you like to tell me what you did?”

Robin chuckled and said; “We gave you gasoline that caused you to go crazy-hyper. Happy April Fools, man.”

“You got me.” I said after belching aloud.

The three of us pranked each other for two weeks From me, to Gonzo, and back to Robin. Gonzo and I bought rice crispy treats and rolled them in caffeinated espresso beans, wrapped them in plastic wrap and gave it to Robin at my house. I knew for a fact when Robin gets espresso coffee, he gets totally jittery from the caffeine. Robin opened one crispy treat, and smelled it.

“what kind of bars are these?” he asked.

I tried not to look obvious and said; “it’s an energy bar made out of rice crispy treats. It’s suppose to support healthy day-long energy. I got it from Natural Grocers.”

Robin took a bite out of it, liked it and said; “these are pretty good.”  He shoved the whole thing in his mouth and ate another one until it was gone. Soon, Robin started to get jittery and couldn’t hold still or talk right. He started gazing into the twilight zone of nothing for two hours. His eye twitched rapidly. Robin started to breathe rapidly like he was possessed by something and started babbling incoherently.

“Why is the room shaking. I don’t like the room shaking, I’m trying to balance.” Robin said quickly.

He stopped abruptly  and rapidly was in a daze of the random abyss of nothingness or so it looked like. He was looking for invisible spiders.

Robin got on the loveseat, jumped off  landed with a belly flop, pit-patting the carpet like if there was something there.

“I thought I saw a tarantula. I don’t like this tarantula crawling freely in the house.  Go get the cage for it and some food to occupy this hairy legged thing. Don‘t just stand there, help me.” Robin said.

Gonzo and I laughed hysterically and quietly. We wished we had a video camera because he looked like a random tweeker looking for something that wasn’t there.  This was the best prank ever not to forget. Robin passed out due to a crash between caffeine and sugar. We put him on the couch to sleep it off. He had been passed out for 8 hours on the clock straight and when he woke up, he forgot what he was doing. He had a look on his face of wonder of how he got on the couch.  Evidently, we told him what happened.

“You got weird after you ate all those espresso flavored crispy treats.  I said.

Robin gave me this priceless look on his face of dumbfound confusion.

“What?” Robin asked.

I chuckled and said; “Dude, you got pretty stoned. We pranked you by rolling store bought crispy treats in coffee beans.”

Robin fell off the couch.

“Huh?” he simply said almost pathetically.

It took him 5 minutes to realize it was a prank and he realized by exclaiming “Oh, that!”

He started laughing and then Gonzo too. I sighed like ‘really? How much longer do I have to make you realize something”

“How much more dim can you be?” I laughed.

“Man, you got me. Good one, O’Malley.” Robin said.

The pranks continued  the next day. Robin and I pranked Gonzo. He was out in his yard while we were at his house. He wasn’t paying attention when we did it. Robin prepared the firecrackers that he bought in a pack of 100s. I looked at them before we fired them.

“How many are there?” I asked.

Robin snickered mischievously as he looked at me.

“100, I think Gonzo is going to have his treads knocked off…literally.” Robin said.

“I just hope he doesn’t wet himself with these after the bang. You know how he feels about these stupid things’”

“I know that O’Malley. It’s just a prank for bubble gum sake.” Robin said sticking the firecrackers under Gonzo while he was distracted.

Gonzo was singing along to the song “My girl” by the Temptations but wasn’t pitch perfect. Robin puts the package of firecrackers in a heavy plastic bowl and casually sent me with his “Biggest lighter in the world” lighter and I lit the fuse quickly. I took cover with Robin and watched as Robin filmed it all with the camera.

The firecrackers all went off scaring Gonzo and making him run for the hills. He was so scared that he jumped over the backyard fence, but his muffler got caught on a tip of the wood plank of the fence. He fell and scraped himself on the chin. We had followed him as he was running scared and were laughing hard. Gonzo looked at us as he was panting hard and loud.

“Was this you guys’ idea of pranking me?” Gonzo crooned in fright.

“Yes.” I chuckled with a fast answer of one word.

Gonzo looked as if he saw a ghost but he added; “When is it your turn to get pranked?”

“O’Malley’s turn.” Robin answered.

“I’m going to get you O’Malley” Gonzo said.

I just laughed hoping it wasn’t too serious. Gonzo hadn’t realized he was being filmed until Robin turned off the camera. When Gonzo had a minute to calm down, he looked at us and his face was just as red as Robin’s body. He was frightened and raged at the same time.

But the next day, I was nervous again to see what I’d be in for. Robin and Gonzo came over with a box of Duncan Donuts from in town. They told me they wanted a truce to call it even that we outdid ourselves. I guessed it was okay when I looked inside to be sure. They had picked out powdered sugared  donuts. I helped myself to one of them. But when I took a bite out of it, the entire donut tasted horrible like old flour. I spat it out and tried another to see if it was okay. It wasn’t. they had all tasted terrible. I threw the donut in the trash.

“Ugh, what did those people do? Cover them with asbestos?” I said trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

Robin and Gonzo were laughing and said; “Got you.”

“We covered every donut in flour so we got you. Oh man, your face was priceless.” Robin said.

Once they’ve calmed down a moment, I took those donuts and rubbed them in their faces just for a few laughs.

“How do you enjoy your donuts, you couple of Duncans?” I’m laughing hard.

The two of them were trying to get the bitter taste of flour out of their mouths as much as I had been for a while.

“I’ll Duncan your donuts, you  white sanded dune buggy.” Gonzo said.

We had a donut throwing war at each other for a few minutes. There was smears of chocolate, lemon, and cream filled centers wiped everywhere. We were a mess but having a blast. When we had enough, we settled down on the porch. It was a good prank and it was the time to stop before we went too far. Robin agreed and called it even.

Natalie came out, looked at us and said. “What did you guys do have a party?” she was laughing. I asked for her help in cleaning us off one by one while Robin took care of the donut mess. I was bathed first. Smears of chocolate and strawberry jam ran off my hood like a water fountain.

Once we were all cleaned up, we went cruising in town for a relaxing evening drive on the street. We even swung by Duncan Donuts fir some nice tea. A few people in newer cars took our pictures while we enjoyed the night. Robin told us a true story a long time ago while the evening was just reminding him of this funny tale. He had a fussy girlfriend who was spoiled  rotten so Robin added that he was ending his love with her because he was sick of her attitude. He left her in a sandbox in the park and went home after he told her he was done. When it came to dates, Robin had  strange ways of showing love and he had a way of ending a relationship.

[hotshotshitshow]

Ok if I associated drinks with my chars (which I do for some)

Sev is coffee and she wishes she were black coffee but she’s def the sugary flavored stuff. Tbh she’s probably a psl lol

Riz is trash juice or bong water nah jk she’s probably an extra large fountain drink, probably mountain dew or something, that you paid seven bucks for at the theatre but at least you get endless refills

Basira is ginger ale or root beer ;w;

Vin is wine bc 1. her name and 2. she’s a fucking lush

Vita is probably some fruity fun alcoholic drink with a lil umbrella in it. I know nothing about alcohol so don’t ask me specifics lol

Norm is amonia fuck that guy

Jed issssss idk he probably boiled some mushrooms and sticks he found and called it tea and then mixed it with Jack Daniels and chugged it

Grylus is milk five days past it’s expiration date

Buck is mountain dew code red

Maude is moonshine, you’ll sprout chest hair just smelling it. Same with boyd

Vivi is a surprisingly delicious and smooth expensive coffee of some sort with a light caramel undertone

Dhaval is probably something nasty like pulpy orange juice mixed with milk. No omg actually he’s go juice (apple juice + orange juice + prune juice)

Duff is just a pbr but maybe also a coke

Ingrid is black coffee. There u go. Screw off sev

Quoia is like four different fruit juices mixed together with also a little bit of sparkly water.

Denny is like. A mud puddle but alcoholic somehow

Biv is just boiling hot water

And eggie is strawberry milk probably

I hope I’m not forgetting anyone fbfjddn

[zephfair]

Cloud ficlet, Gen, Humor

Based on this post by @silver-elite-official with a wonderful addition by @ardwynna I had this stupid idea for a little crack/fluff/humor fic. Many thanks to the wonderful @pttucker for all the encouragement! Thank you!

Poor Cloud; his life is hard.

Gen fic, no pairings, no warnings needed, I think?

Cloud doesn’t think anything of it at first.

His luck has—if he’s honest with himself—always kind of sucked, so when annoying little things start happening around him, he figures it’s just life.

Only they keep happening more often. Little things that are really irritating but usually easy to explain away.

The scratch along the entire side of his motorcycle, right through the clear coat and into the paint. He questions the kids quietly and calmly but they disavow any knowledge of what could have happened.

Cloud shrugs and writes it off as the neighborhood kids or some drunken neighbor. Even when it happens the next week on the other side and he fumes as he has to buff and repaint it as well.

Then there’s the unexplained flat tire one morning when he has an important delivery. After he borrows a vehicle and makes it back to Edge the next day—tired, cranky and thoroughly disgruntled with trucks that still manage to make him vaguely carsick—he busts a lug nut getting the wheel off. He drags it to a tire shop, only there’s nothing in it: no cut, no glass, no sharp edge to explain why the tire has gone flat.

So there’s no reason why it does it again. Or why the new tire he finally breaks down and buys suddenly is flat the very next day.

“Never saw nothin’ like it, mister,” the tire shop owner so helpfully tells him and fills it up again as Cloud grinds his teeth.

Then there’s the morning he picks up his leather sleeve and it’s cut through, a long gouge that was obviously made by something sharp.

He doesn’t have time to fume before he has to be on the road, but he sits the kids down that night with Tifa and delivers a very stilted and confusing talk about the importance of respecting people’s possessions and not damaging things that belong to others, careful not to assign blame or accuse.

As he flees the room embarrassed by his rare attempt at responsibility, he hears Marlene ask Tifa, “Is there something wrong with Cloud? Did he do something to your stuff?” and he knows that he’s on the wrong track.

The next day, his boot laces are knotted together and the strap breaks on his goggles as he’s putting them on and it stings the back of his head.

“Oh come on,” he mutters and revs the engine much harder than necessary.

Cloud’s toothbrush is always disturbingly wet, no matter how long it’s been since since he brushed, and his bath towel is never dry. His bottle of shampoo seems to empty overnight. He knows he didn’t drop the toothpaste with the lid off where he would so conveniently step on it and squirt it out all over the floor.

One morning he wakes up to scissors on his nightstand and what looks like bits of hair on his pillow. He panics and starts to worry that maybe he’s sleepwalking and somehow doing this all himself, but that ends when he’s in the shower and the toilet flushes. He’s doused in alternately icy then steaming water and he shrieks as he tears open the shower curtain to discover the culprit.

Only there’s no one there.

At least he stops worrying whether he’s somehow doing it to himself.

As his frustration and Tifa’s confusion grow, the incidents happen more frequently. When he lies down to sleep, his bedroom light turns on. If he wants his window open, it slides shut.

Only his super reflexes save him the night he slides on a skateboard left in the dark at the top of the stairs and he catches himself before he can take a tumble down the steps. He narrows his eyes and looks around and wonders if it’s true that it’s not paranoia if someone actually is out to get you.

It’s only when Tifa actually raises her voice at the kids for leaving the refrigerator open—again—and letting the milk out on the counter to spoil—again—that Cloud suspects there’s something weird going on. There’s no way the kids could be doing all this bothersome stuff, not with the way they are loudly arguing that they haven’t ever done it, and Denzel is lactose intolerant besides.

Tifa doesn’t mention it at first, but when Cloud’s trying to relax one evening at the bar and the overhead lights go out, she slaps down her rag and admits that it’s been happening several times every night.

When Cloud is there, the jukebox takes on a life of its own. The customers laugh when that one really obnoxious song starts playing again and they all swear they didn’t pick it, but when it plays again, and again, and again, they all breath a sigh of relief when it switches to another. But the annoying one comes back on again and Tifa swears under her breath as she scrambles for the plug.

Then Rude and Reno stop by for a drink one night and Tifa herds Cloud into the bar to keep them company, and Rude makes a face when he takes a sip of his beer.

“That’s not what I ordered,” he mutters and waves for another.

“You’re too snobby,” Reno tells him and happily steals the mug. “Whoa, that’s not beer!”

“That’s what I said,” Rude says as Reno chugs quickly.

“Yo, Tifa, I don’t know what you did to the drinks, but thanks!” Reno tries his own and smacks his lips. “I wanted rum and soda but this is just fine. Is it a new mixed drink? I think vodka and maybe tequila?”

“What?” Tifa drops Rude’s new mug onto the table and snatches Reno’s glass as he tries to cling to it. She sniffs at it then takes a tentative taste. “Oh no, what’s going on?”

She closes the bar temporarily while they check her bottles to find that many of the liquors and spirits were poured into different bottles while others were watered down or emptied. The taps had been switched as well, and as she set to work trying to swap them back, Reno says, “Hey, get me another mystery drink first. That was pretty good.”

Now that Tifa believes something is wrong, she is convinced that someone broke in to the bar, even though nothing is missing. She argues with Cloud about getting some kind of security alarm, and Cloud is still too weirded out about the situation to admit that he’s never seen a culprit for the pranks or whatever it is he’s been going through.

He tries to research what could be happening to them and wonders who would know what the hell’s going on. Should he could ask Vincent if he’s ever experienced something like this or seen anything like it before? Or should he just find a priest and beg for an exorcism? The word poltergeist comes up in a search, but whatever it is, it seems to be focusing on him.

Cloud thinks for just a moment—one hopeful moment—that it was all some kind of … message from the Great Beyond. That maybe Aerith was trying to get his attention from the Lifestream, but then he’d shut that down because if she wanted him, she’d shown before that she would get him.

And while Zack would probably definitely enjoy messing with him, he didn’t think Zack would ever be mean about it.

No, this definitely feels more nefarious, especially since he could be injured when his bike breaks down and he has to watch every step he takes in the house to prevent injury. He is sleep-deprived, he is exasperated, he is frustrated and he is ready to fight.  

It’s suddenly an eerily familiar feeling, and he wonders if… maybe there’s a way he can find out for sure, without anyone else thinking he’s crazy.

So he heads out to the church, the one place he feels like he can just relax and be still. He sits down among what’s left of the flowers, closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.

There’s a creak from behind him then a pew tips over and lands on its side beside him. It feels like something brushes his upturned face.

“You missed,” Cloud says smugly.

A lily uproots and slaps him in the face, getting pollen in his eyes. Cloud sneezes then pulls away and brushes it off.

“Is that really all the better you can do? I thought you were so amazing,” he taunts, no longer feeling strange about talking aloud because it’s obvious he’s really not alone.

“If you’re still so great, then here I am. Come and do your worst.” Cloud opens his arms and waits, but there is nothing. Not even a waft of displaced air, but he suddenly feels lighter and that prickly feeling in the back of his neck hair vanishes.

He goes home and everything is back to normal.

Until two months later when Marlene and Denzel run into the kitchen with shouts and yells of “Can we keep it, you have to let us keep it, we’ll take care of it, we promise.”

Tifa dries her hands on a towel and leans down while Cloud is curious enough to look up from his paperwork. Denzel carefully unfolds his shirt tail to reveal a tiny furball with a pink nose, teeny whiskers and a mix of silver/white/gray fur that is drenched from the rain.

The world’s tiniest mew comes out and all of them are immediately in love.

After drying and warming and milk and broth, then Tifa’s lecture on responsible pet ownership, the kids are thrilled they can keep the kitten. Marlene promptly christens it Fluffy Princess Silver Sparkle until Tifa checks and informs them it’s a Prince instead. Marlene is perfectly happy with Fluffy Prince Silver Sparkle although Cloud has to hold in a laugh at Denzel’s forlorn expression as he tries out that name.

The kitten explores the kitchen on wobbly legs, and Cloud gets back to his work until he feels a nudge at his foot. The fluff ball of silver-tipped white—or was it silver fur with white tips?—purrs like a miniature Fenrir and Cloud murmurs at it.

In response, the kitten digs in needle-sharp claws and tries to climb up his pants’ leg. Cloud yelps and instinctively reaches to grab the kitten and stop the pain, but Marlene runs toward him. “No Cloud, he just wants up on your lap!”

So Cloud bites his tongue as the kitten victoriously finishes the ascent to his lap with a joyful clap and grin from Marlene. It celebrates by turning around in his lap then settling down to knead at his thigh, perilously close to where it would hurt even more. But Cloud doesn’t say anything as the kitten meows and yawns, putting all those razor-sharp teeth on show, and falls asleep on him, just when he needs to get up.

Cloud shifts and Marlene grabs his arm. “You have to stay still, Cloud. Fluffy Prince Silver Sparkle needs to rest.”

“But I have to—”

“Cloud, sit,” Marlene commands and when she crosses her arms over her chest and glares like that, she bears an overwhelming resemblance to her father, and so Cloud has to grit his teeth and bear it.

And if his fingers sneak down to pet the thick ruff of neck fur, no one says anything. But the kitten does wake up and bite him.

The next morning, Cloud wakes to kitten butt fur in his mouth.

The kitten sheds over everything Cloud owns to the point where he wonders if it has a skin disorder, but it just seems to make more hair. It’s worse when Marlene explains in her most authoritative voice that it wouldn’t be so bad if he’d actually wear a different color than black.

The kitten favors his leathers for sharpening those needle-like claws. No matter how secure his room is, the kitten gets in and sits on his face, bites his toes, nibbles his ears and chews on his hair.

The puddle in his boot is only an accident, Prince always uses the litter box, Denzel earnestly explains as he brings Cloud a fresh pair of socks.

“I’m going to put a bell on you, I swear,” Cloud mutters when the kitten twines around his ankles. It’s always when Cloud is on the stairs or just entering a room and unprepared for the attack.

The kids just tell him “He loves you Cloud! He’s marking you with his scent!” but Cloud and the cat meet gazes and Cloud wonders if this is what insanity feels like.

“That damn cat,” he mutters six to eight times a day but always under his breath because to do it when they could hear would be to face Marlene’s disappointed face, Denzel’s big eyes and Tifa’s eye rolls.

Isn’t until the early morning of a delivery run when things come to a head. Cloud creeps through the house so not to wake the others and makes himself a huge travel mug of coffee. He slumps against the counter, waiting on toast, when he hears a strange noise, and sees Fluffy Prince Silver Sparkle climb up on the counter.

The kitten’s long fur has a few small mats in places, Cloud can see, but he would allow no one but Marlene to brush him, and then never his belly. Cloud wouldn’t have tried it for anything. He valued his life and preferred his blood on the inside since he knew all too well that the kitten had perfected the art of death by tiny claws.

Now the kitten sits on the counter next to his mug with no lid, its bright green eyes unblinking and meeting Cloud’s.

Cloud shifts as he notices just how very bright those eyes suddenly look. Sure, they were green but didn’t most cat’s eyes change color at a certain age? Maybe they just looked glowing from the dim kitchen light?

Then the fuzzy paw reaches out and pushes at his mug.

“No,” Cloud says in a calm voice of authority and takes a step closer.

The cat reaches out again. Cloud stops and the paw retracts.

“You have got to be kidding me,” he breathes out.

The cat hasn’t taken its brilliant green eyes off him, hasn’t even blinked.

Cloud thinks, what is his life, how is he in a standoff with a cat, when the cat raises an eyebrow and bats the mug off the counter to splash coffee all over the floor.

Cloud’s “You have got to be kidding me” shout wakes the whole house.

Cloud is still raging and muttering the words “cut your balls off myself” when Tifa hurries into the kitchen.

“Isn’t that cat old enough to be fixed?” Cloud demands as he tries to wipe coffee off the cupboards.

Tifa looks from him to the cat primly grooming its paw on the counter and says, “Now that you mention it, probably. I’ll call the vet and find out.”

Cloud knows he shouldn’t feel such pride but he does, and he has to resist the urge to stick out his tongue at the cat as he leaves.

Only Fluffy Prince Silver Sparkle disappears the night before his appointment with the vet. Marlene is inconsolable, Denzel is bewildered and Tifa shoots glances at Cloud when she thinks he can’t see. He hums a little as he gets ready for the best night’s sleep he’s had in ages.

When the cat reappears a week later, Cloud corners it in the pantry alone for another confrontation, but Fluffy Prince Silver Sparkle only rubs against his ankles and bumps its butt into his shin. Cloud picks it up, at great risk to his major arteries and skin, but the cat only hangs limp and purrs, trying to rub against his wrist to make him pet it.

Tifa walks in when Cloud is holding the cat up to try and stare into its eyes, but she backs right back out.

“It’s just a cat,” Cloud announces, plopping it down on the floor next to its bowl.

“Well, yes,” Tifa says as the cat daintily laps at the water.

“It’s safe now,” he tries to explain.

“Okay,” Tifa says slowly. “Only he’d had all his shots before.”

“No, I mean, it’s just a cat now,” and at Tifa’s concerned and confused look, Cloud gives up.

“I’ll have to reschedule the neutering appointment,” she says.

Cloud glances down at the cat again, but it is sitting, licking a paw and passing it over its face. “I don’t think that will be any problem.”

And so Cloud was delivered from the wrath of Sephiroth again, and while he never shared the whole story with Tifa, he knew she was relieved when he stopped yelling at random occurrences in the house and started sleeping without fear.

Until Denzel and Marlene ran in one evening carrying a tiny dog with big pointed ears that trembled and snarled every time Cloud got near.

That was it. He was moving to Kalm.

The end

#my fic #humor and fluff #cloud #sephiroth #inspired by tumblr post #ffvii

[happyslitterbox]

Exceeds And Eggnog Don’t Mix

My contribution to day 12 of the 25 Days of Christmas Drabbles run by @cherrytrinkets Prompt: Eggnog Pairing: Brot3: Natsu/Happy/Cana Summary: Happy accidentally steals Natsu’s eggnog and develops a taste for alcohol, which Cana puts to a mighty fast stop. Warnings for alcohol consumption.

The recipe was simple. 12 medium egg yolks 1 ½ cups  or 320 g white granulated sugar 4 cups or 1 liter of 2% or full fat milk 2 cups or 500 ml heavy cream (31% fat or higher) 1 tsp ground nutmeg, or adjust to taste 1 tsp good quality vanilla extract Eggnog. A fun holiday drink any member of the guild could consume, regardless of their age, right? Except that some of the mages added other things to their eggnog that some of the younger members, like Happy shouldn’t consume. Raw egg should never be consumed in anything, unless you want to risk salmonella poisoning. Do you think Happy cared? He ate fish raw as well. The sweet cream and vanilla in the eggnog was wonderful. He’d finished his glass and went to the bar to get a refill. But there was a problem. Every glass of the festive concoction was identical. So when Happy grabbed Natsu’s glass by mistake, he got an explosion of flavors in his little mouth that he should have never experienced at such a tender, fluffy age. It burned going down his little throat, but it did make him feel more warm and fuzzy than his usual self. A tiny hiccup passed through his lips as Happy sat the glass down after emptying it. This wouldn’t have been a problem if it had only been one glass. But every time Happy emptied Natsu’s glass, the dragon slayer ordered another, mistakenly thinking he’d been the one who drank it. And every time he went to order another, Natsu complained and asked Mirajane to make it stronger. And every time it never failed, Happy chugged the devil’s water and ended up three sheets to the wind in no time. That was until Natsu caught the little grubby pawed drink thief in the act. When his next glass disappeared, Natsu went and ordered yet another round for him and Happy. And this time he made sure to give Happy the non alcoholic one. After placing the two glasses down, the pink haired dragon slayer dismissed himself from the table. “Hey, Happy I’ll be right back, alright, buddy?” Natsu called with his goofy grin slathered across his face. Now he waited and watched, hiding behind one of the hall pillars, he kept a careful eye on the little feline and sure enough Happy grabbed the wrong glass and guzzled it. Eyes focused on his feline friend, Natsu damn near jumped out of his skin when he heard a very familiar female voice in his ear. “What are you doing, Natsu?” “It’s Happy, Cana. He keeps stealing my drinks.” Natsu complained. The card mage just smiled, as she could already put two and two together on what was going on. “Cut him off and make him go to bed, Natsu. Let the little guy sleep it off and if the hangover isn’t enough to make him hate alcohol, I’ll give him a reason to hate it.” She winked. Natsu cocked his head and asked a simple “How?” The brunette smiled. “Natsu, dear. You’re talking to the one woman in this guild who can out drink Gray. Trust me, I’ll stop him.” “Cana, I’m not letting you have a contest where Happy drinks himself into oblivion, sorry.” Natsu protested. The woman shook her head. “Natsu, sweetie. I know my alcohol. And the kind used in yours is flavored, it’s sweet. He can’t even taste the alcohol in it. Give him one sip of a good old fashioned beer and Happy’ll never look at alcohol again, even if it’s in a sweetened eggnog. He’s too messed up right now, so take him home and let him sleep it off then bring him to me first thing tomorrow.”  The pink haired mage just nodded and excused himself from the table to go tuck in an intoxicated exceed.  The next day, Natsu left the curtain open so the light shone directly into Happy’s already aching eyes as the feline complained. “Natsu, I have a headache.”  The feline whined.  “I bet you do, buddy!” Natsu grinned. “Happy, do you know what was in those glasses you drank last night?”  The exceed nodded, “Eggnog, aye!”  Natsu patted Happy’s head and smiled threateningly. “Come on, there’s someone who wants you to taste one of the things eggnog’s made from, alright?”  The second the kitty entered the bar, Cana smiled and poured two shots of the strongest alcohol she could get her hands on. “Oi, Happy. Come join me for a drink.” She smiled, invitingly.  Happy couldn’t possibly turn this one down. Hopping up into the seat across from the drunken mage, Happy’s little paws wrapped around the shot glass and downed it in one gulp. And the sour expression on the feline’s face said it all. Cana was right, Happy only liked Natsu’s eggnog because he couldn’t tell there was alcohol in it. “Happy, you do know this is the same stuff that was in what you drank last night, right?” Cana asked him with the concerned tone of a mother.  The exceed looked shocked, “I’ll never touch it again, this stuff’s disgusting, aye!~”  “Here, Happy. Mirajane made this just for you and wanted me to give it to you.” Cana smiled as she pulled out a tiny glass, fit for Happy that contained an exceed sized amount of sparkling juice which was the only thing Happy would be drinking at the guild during celebrations ever again.~ 

#alcohol tw #25 days of christmas drabbles #wynter writes things #cherrytrinkets

[darksideoathkeeper]

Overwatch Heroes and their Favorite Drinks

Mercy– Enjoys the finest Swiss hot chocolate. Also has a glass of orange juice every morning, for a balanced breakfast.

D.VA– The salty tears of vanquished foes.

Genji– Soda. Since he lost most of his taste buds he likes feeling the bubbles on his tongue. Prefers ramune and root beer (from what little flavor he can still discern)

Widowmaker– Pinot Noir and the occasional Bloody Mary.

Soldier 76– Exclusively drinks Venti Double Chocolate Chip Frappucinos.

Winston– Banana daiquiris. Currently researching a way to make peanut butter drinkable while maintaining the flavor.

Reaper– Blood, probably.

Zarya– Vodka & milk. Sometimes together. Sometimes with raw eggs mixed in.

Lúcio– Appletinis & “Electric Kool-Aid”.

Pharah– Absinthe from a sippy cup so Mommy can’t see.

Tracer– Anything as long as she can put a Krazy Straw in it.

McCree– Rum. Whiskey. Scotch. Liquid nicotine.

Mei– Puppy blood and the tears of orphans.

Hanzo– SAKE! SAKE! SAKE!

Junkrat– Mixes soda and Pop Rocks, and tries to chug it all as it explodes.

Torbjorn– LIQUID GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!

Sombra– A frosty Piña Colada garnished lightly with government secrets and blackmail.

Roadhog– Mud. Just straight mud.

Reinhardt– THE FINEST GERMAN ALES!!!!

Symmetra– Is too superior to admit to anything as basic as drinking liquids.

Ana– Fresh squeezed fruit juice of all kinds. Never from concentrate. Especially partial to apple and grape.

Bastion– Gasoline.

Orisa– Gasoline on the rocks.

Zenyatta– Gasoline with a lemon wedge.

#overwatch #overwatch heroes #overwatch main #genji #genji shimada #pharah #soldier 76 #reaper #tracer #sombra #hanzo shimada #hanzo #bastion #junkrat #mccree #mei #torbjorn #torbjörn #widowmaker #reinhardt #d.va #zarya #orisa #roadhog #winston #mercy #ana #symmetra #lucio #zenyatta

[miscolliding-planets]

Chapter 1: On My Own Axis

August 20XX

Caiden is calling through Facetime...

I hit the accept button because there are only a handful of times when my best friend calls me first. It is a rare occurrence, but it's not really unusual. The call took a while to connect. After a few moments, my best friend's face popped on my screen. He looks to be hanging out at his roof deck-slash-balcony thing he renovated due to boredom. I don't what got into his head, but I'm not that handsy with carpenting tools and is too lazy to even start planning those kinds of projects. I can also see a bottle of beer in his hand.

"What's up? You don't really call me first unless..." was my greeting. He looked at me and shook his head. "I get it. You fought with her again," I chuckled.

"This is no laughing matter," he retorted in his annoyed voice.

"Oh, it actually is," I got back at him at a deadpan, disinterested voice. "Dude," a sarcastic laugh came from my mouth as I dropped my iPencil to concentrate on his image on the screen. "I told you that she's no good—yet here you are, still dealing with her bullshit. Do you know how many times you've complained this week about her picking a fight with you?" I asked him, pissed at his girlfriend more than him.

"I know. I know," he sighed as he sat up straight.

"You don't get to complain to me about that when you chose to put up with all this crap that I knew she will be throwing at you. I told you she will. I warned you," I chastised as I shook my head at him. I picked up my iPencil and continued with the sketch I was doing on my iPad.

"She has anxiety. You know that she's carrying the responsibility for her whole family. She's stressed," he reasoned.

I scoffed, "But that does not mean she has the right to pick fights with you. That does not give her a pass to be a toxic bitch," I rebuked. "I don't know what got in your head and you're staying, but you're obviously too good for her," I continued to scold him.

He sighed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," an ugly, annoyed and sarcastic laugh came out at his remark and rolled my eyes at him, "What are you doing?" he asked.

I glared at his face on my laptop screen. He shrugged as he took a chug on his beer. I sighed and continued with my sketch. "I'm doing a sketch. Just to pass the time. I got a little writer's block," I admitted.

"What happened to that offer you got? Any progress?" he asked.

"I don't know. It was not final at the time they told me," I disclosed. "It needs to be finalized first, but my editor told me that I basically have it in the bag," I added.

"Will you take it?" he asked. That made me stop sketching. I stared at his figure on my laptop screen. "Will you take the offer, Andie?" he asked again.

"I think I will," I gave him a small smile. "I think I will take it," I said again, now with more resolve.

"Good. You deserve it. You are one of the most passionate and hard-working people I know. Regardless of what other people say," he gave me a reassuring smile. "I know you want to be your own planet. Don't let this opportunity slip from your hand," he added.

"Like, I would ever let such an opportunity go. I just wanna step away from all of what's here," a sarcastic laugh came out because of the irony. "Nonetheless, we're still our own planets, Cai. We're just a little out of axis, at the moment," I gave him a small forced smile. He saluted with his beer bottle as admittance.

Our conversation flowed from one topic to another after that, just like any other times we talk. Again, just like any other times we talk, we also avoid the most important topics that needed to be discussed. Because we know, that even if we don't address it, we know how much each other hurt. It's not that we don't want to face the pain, but because we respect the fact that we each cope in our own way. We also have this tacit understanding that we are acknowledging each other's pain by not pulling the subject up.

We ended the video call when his girlfriend called again, probably after calming down and realizing what a bitch she has been again. I reminded him to think again about their relationship and he ended the call annoyed that I kept insisting for him to break up with her, like usual. It's a vicious cycle we're in. That's how our calls usually end.

I stood up from my bed and put away my laptop and iPad to go sleep. I turned off the lights, pulled the duvet aside to slip under it. I pulled my favourite husky stuffy that I usually hug to get me to sleep. I also pulled my duvet up to my chin. I was about to close my eyes when a weight suddenly got on my bed. I saw Apollo, my dog, get on my bed and situate himself on the space beside me. I smiled and pet his head before I finally closed my eyes.

_________________________________

My alarm clock blared so loud in the morning, instantly waking me up. I also felt Apollo licking my face, telling me that I need to stand up. I pushed his face away with a giggle before opening my eyes and reaching for my phone. I turned the alarm off and unlocked it to check for messages and emails.

I sat up and started going over the notifications I received throughout the night. I got 2 messages from my dad reminding me to call my grandparents. I also have emails from my editor asking me about my progress. She also mentioned that my last article received quite a lot of hits. There are a few other emails thrown in the mix, but some of them are either irrelevant or spam, so I just ignored those for now.

I decided to reply to my messages in a bit and went on Instagram. I don't know why, but his stories are always on the first 5 icons available on top of my timeline. I tapped on his icon and his stories loaded immediately. He only posted a photo of the sunrise and tagged his photography account. The next one he posted is the video equivalent of the earlier photo. Now, the sun is a little higher in the sky making the scenery a little brighter.

I smiled at these. His photos always make me smile. They show his passion for his art, no matter how simple and mundane the subjects are. I posted a story of my own, taking a photo of my window as the sun shines through the curtains. I added a little 'Good Morning' greeting before hitting the 'Post' button. I went back on the timeline to watch other stories.

After watching a few more stories posted by other people, I stood up from my bed. I took my laptop from my table and started to head out of my room. Apollo stood up from the floor to walk right by my foot. He always follows me out of any room we both enter together. I petted his head before opening the door. I opened the sliding door to the balcony where he usually does his morning business as soon as I got to the kitchen.

I placed my laptop on the kitchen island that I also use as my dining table before heading to the fridge to see what I can eat. I felt lazy to cook and just took out the milk and a bottle of water. I went to the cubbies and took out a bowl before opening my pantry cabinet to get the cereal. I fixed myself a bowl of my favourite cereal before sitting on one of the barstools and opened my laptop. I first answered all the emails from my other clients before answering my editor's.

After about 30 minutes of firing emails to different recipients, I finished my bowl of cereal and stood up to get ready for a walk. I had to take Apollo out for his regular exercise. Thank goodness the dog park is just a block away, so I can also get a little exercise from the walk we had to take to and from there. I went back to my room to change into a tracksuit combo and to get Apollo's lead which I keep at the back of my door.

Apollo came back from the balcony, making me smile. He always knows when it's time to get his exercise. I picked up my phone from the counter along with the house keys before hooking the lead onto Apollo's collar. I closed the balcony door after checking if he really did do his business, which he did not. After checking if I forgot anything, I led Apollo to the door and out of my apartment.

I'm thankful that my apartment doesn't have restrictions when it comes to pets, or I wouldn't be able to have Apollo with me. Some of the apartments I looked at does not allow pets the size of Apollo forcing me to cross it off my list. The only downside to this apartment is that I have to drive to get anywhere else since it's a little outside the city.

I pressed on the elevator call button and wait for it to arrive. Apollo walks with me inside the elevator, always being the gentleman. I never trained him to do the things he does, but he does it anyway. I pressed the button for the ground floor and looked at the numbers diminished as we passed by the lower floors. We exit the elevators and our apartment building and started to head east to the dog park.

The walk to the park was uneventful. Apollo does not really pay attention to anything we passed by. He just walks with me as if nothing bothers him and that nothing can touch him. We reached the park and saw that there are fewer people and dogs today. I immediately unhook his lead once we enter the enclosure that keeps the dogs from running to the streets. I sat on a bench and just watch Apollo socialize with the dogs. A few of the big dogs are being rowdy, play fighting and pouncing on each other.

I was busy laughing at the Samoyed puppy who was bullying a Dachshund when my phone rang. I answered the call without looking at the caller ID. "Hello," I greeted.

"Is this Alejandra Marquez?" asked the female voice from the other side.

"Yes, I'm Alejandra Marquez. Why?" I asked after being washed with confusion. I took a peek at my screen and discovered that it's an unregistered number.

"Hi, Alejandra--" the voice instantly became perky.

"Andie. You can call me Andie," I cut her off.

"Okay. Andie," she confirmed. "I'm Palm and I'm calling from the office of Mr Atcharaporn of Peraya Studios. I just want to tell you that you had been selected for the position of the studio's Creative Director. How soon can you fly out to Bangkok?" she disclosed.

The news made me stand from my seat. My mouth was agape from shock. "W-What? I-Is this f-for real?" I confirmed with her.

"Yes. You were personally selected by Mr Atcharaporn and Mr Peraya, themselves. So, how soon can you fly out to Bangkok?" she confirmed.

I found myself placing my hand on top of my head as I try to contain my excitement. "Uhm... I don't know. Two weeks?" I answered, uncertain about how long I would need to arrange everything.

"Okay. I will be emailing the details of your job description and the brief for the projects that you will be handling within the next hour. Your accommodation will also be arranged by us, so I will send you the information for that within the next few days. If you come across any problem or delay, or if you have any questions, just shoot me an email and we can coordinate about the changes," she fired off as I continue to try and contain myself.

I sat on the bench again, now only at the edge of my seat. "Okay. S-Sure. I will," I confirmed.

"Alright. If you don't have any questions, that's it. We look forward to seeing you here," she bade before ending the call.

I absent-mindedly put the phone down from my ear, not truly believing what happened. I looked for Apollo and called for him. He immediately ran to me. I hugged him to myself as soon as he was in front of me. He was baffled but went with the bear hug I was giving him. I found myself smiling so wide, my face was almost split and torn.

I stood up and hooked the lead on Apollo's collar again and hurriedly headed for the gates to exit the park enclosure. He was amazing and just went with me, even though I can see that he's a little confused. The walk back to the apartment was shorter due to the hurried steps I was taking. I hurriedly opened the door and unhooked Apollo who instantly headed to his ceramic water fountain while I headed to the kitchen for my laptop.

I turned it on and accessed my email. Sitting at the top of the list of unopened messages is an email that contains the subject-line Details Regarding Internship with Peraya Studios. I guess the offer was real. I guess I just got my signal to start a new adventure. I guess I can now leave all the toxicity behind and be away from the negativity. I'm not lost anymore. I just found my own axis.

#Miscolliding Planets #story 1 #romance #novella #ideals #fiction #writing #love #storytelling #story #amateur writer