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#scout angst
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Gonna let out some thoughts about how I think Scout feels about Spy being his dad once he finds out :)
When Scout was younger, he’d definitely rag on his deadbeat of a dad. I can totally see him doing so, as why wouldn’t he? The dude left his Ma’ to take care of 8 boys by herself, one of which was his by blood, which was a shitty move no matter who you asked.
But this became more difficult once he grew up and learned exactly who his dad was.
The thing that made it easier when he was younger was that when he was a teen, there was no face to pair with the resentment he felt. He couldn’t actually place a human being in that place with complicated morals and emotions, it was just some guy he knew was a piece of shit for leaving. And all was fine like that, he didn’t think about it.
And when he DID have a face to put there? When he DID have a person he knew with all the human attributes he never associated with his dad, with all the complications and complexities? It just made him conflicted, with all too many different emotions and thoughts.
When he finds out Spy’s his dad, he’s forced to think of more than just an idea of a person. He’s forced to see his dad as something- SOMEONE three dimensional, something real. It can’t just be someone he could condemn without a second thought, someone that would’ve done what they would’ve done no matter the situation. It has to now be the guy he knows is much more complex than that, and who he knows always has reasons for doing things, no matter if Scout knows them or not. He’s deliberate with what he does. Always.
So, what would make his disappearance any different?
..Could Scout have been the main reason he had left?
Now, Scout can’t just think of his dad and blame him for everything, for making his own shitty decisions. No, because he knows this guy now, and doubts have been forever planted in his mind.
He’s forced to think more about it. He can’t just let it all be black and white, good and bad, because nothing ever is. The only problem with his realization of this is that Scout is never good when it comes to thinking more.
Because that leads him to overthinking.
Thinking that he is and always will be a failure, a disappointment in his father’s eyes. Thinking that his mom and Spy were truly in love, and Scout had messed it up and led him to leave.
The blame was no longer only on his dad. It couldn’t be. Not anymore.
The resentment he felt couldn’t fully be placed on him anymore. It felt wrong. So much of it was now focused on himself now, and there was nothing he could do to convince himself it should be any different.
Because of this all, he couldn’t fully bring himself to hate Spy. It’d hurt too much. He wanted to punch his face in, so badly, but he couldn’t ever bring himself to do anything even close.
And what the hell did that make him? A coward who couldn’t handle his own emotions? A guy who was just as bad and therefore couldn’t do shit against the man he was supposed to despise?
All of his brothers had such firm beliefs of the guy. All of them would be willing to give him hell and back, whether through the form of physical harm or words, for what he’s done. No one messes with their Ma’.
So here he was, in the middle of his family and Spy, unable to form a concrete opinion on the matter besides how much he hated it. And how much he hated himself.
And surely, he wasn’t alone in that sentiment. At the very least, that’s what Scout believed. It only seemed right. It only seemed fair.
Of course, all of this is internalized within Scout. And it’ll keep going like that until he finally breaks.
And what’ll happen then? Well, I’ll let you decide.
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aerowolf · 1 month
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started posting a tf2 angst fic based off the song Army Dreamers by Kate Bush on ao3 ‼️
find it here
WARNING: there will be thoughts of Marie attempting suicide due to the loss of her son. she will be comforted.
summary:
Scout's mother, Marie Jones, receives a letter telling her that her son, her beloved Jeremy, is coming home early from the war, riding in a pine box.
it's a work in progress. it's more of a short story than it is a fic but I've split each time skip into a chapter because when i write new parts i write them in timestamp format.
it includes Spyma, and a lot of depression and angst to come.
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poopyboiman · 9 months
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A while ago you made a post abt neurodivergent headcanons for the TF2 characters, and included Medic having chronic mania/hallucinations. As someone who experiences those very things I’ve been wanting to hear further on your thoughts surrounding this headcanon (that I share myself :D). If you’re up for/comfortable with writing abt it, I can understand if you’re not :) Still! I wanted to say I enjoyed seeing a headcanon abt medic dealing with psychosis that wasn’t an angst fest or “grr scary and evil!!!” Type deal
I feel the same way I'm exhausted of seeing psychosis always get demonized (that headcanon was basically just me projecting on my favorite little guy) also i have been dying for an excuse to expand on this headcanon so thank you anon!!!!
as said in my previous post medic has hallucinations on the daily, mostly minor auditory stuff
I don't think he would be freaked out by his hallucinations, he'd be fascinated by them and he would want to study them (he follows cartoon logic: he hallucinates a big scary monster and he sticks his head in its maws and marvels at its teeth)
sometimes tho he gets too wrapped up in his hallucinations and has a hard time separating what's real from what isn't and that's where Archimedes comes in
medic trained him to pick up on certain cues to which he responds by perching on his shoulder and applying pressure therapy by pressing on the side of his neck
other times he tries to get medic to pet him to distract him and make him focus on something soothing instead
occasionally tho it's better to ask the other mercs for help and he just goes up to them and straight up asks them if what he's seeing is real
he's told them of his situation and they are all pretty used to it at this point (also this is probably one of the more normal things about the guy who sews animal organs into people)
although sometimes when he's alone with scout he gets to have a little fun with it: he gets really close to him, stares into his soul with his cold blue eyes, points at the nearest corner and goes "do you see zhe grinning man?"
medic has put the fear of god in scout for the funnies and scout has shit himself on numerous occasions
he just likes to be silly in true medic fashion
here are some silly sketches about this headcanon
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Scout pov:
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How scout sleeps since medic started pulling these pranks
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parkvcrs · 3 months
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me, seeing levi— the BIGGEST germaphobe in aot— not even bother to wipe away the blood kenny coughed on him:
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“that day, why did you leave me?” - levi
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rabbittf2x · 1 year
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Could I request how Scout, Engineer, and Medic would react to accidentally making the reader flinch during an argument? Like- as a reflex from past toxic situations
Mercs make Reader flinch during an argument
Includes: Scout, Engineer and Medic
Soldier’s version:
Scout💖
Scout’s voice was very loud. It was even worse when he was mad at you. You couldn’t even remember what you were arguing about, only focussed on his angry scolding
“If you think you could do better than me, then go! See what I care!” Scout shouted, a tinge of hurt lacing his bluff. When you wouldn’t move, he jabbed a finger at his bedroom door behind you. “GO.”
You screwed your eyes up and flinched, shielding your face with your hands. A small squeal fell from your lips, cowering before him as if expecting a smack
When nothing came, you peeked up through the cracks of your fingers. You revealed a very hurt looking Scout, staring like you just crushed his heart. The yelling stopped and there was a very long pause
“I’m sorry…” Scout finally uttered barely above a whisper. His sudden slouched posture and kicked puppy expression made you take your hands fully away from your face. “I… I didn’t mean to scare ya…” he whispered
You stood to your full height, voice shaky but blunt. “But you did.” You replied softly
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Scout suddenly bursted into tears, shoulders wracking with sobs as he hid his own face
Without thinking, you threw your arms around his slim frame. You cradled his head against your chest, frowning to yourself as you felt your own tears coming on. You backed over to his bed, guiding him down to cry into your belly
“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, baby. I—I didn’t mean it!” Scout sobbed, clutching onto your shirt. “Please don’t leave me. Please… please.”
As you ran your fingers through his short hair, you had to bite back the tears threatening to spill. Scout lifted his head up, but you immediately pushed it onto your shoulder, stroking the back of his neck
“I’d never leave you, baby. It’s okay.”
Engineer💖
Engineer shouted down every argument you threw at him. He was always right. Always the better man…
“I just dunno why ya have to argue back with me!” He scolded
Your legs were shaking. Engineer had never gotten angry at you like this before
“But, Engie, I was just trying to—!”
Engie cut you off, waving a hand out. “No!” He barked back defiantly
You were gonna say something else, but his raised hand scared you. You yelped, flinching back in fright. You hid your screwed up face in your hands, turning away from your boyfriend
“Engie, I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad.” You whimpered
After a few silent moments, you slowly raised your head back to look up at the Engineer. His goggles hid his eyes but the deep frown on his face said it all
“No, darling… I’m sorry.” He sighed
You faced him again, your confused frown matching his. “For what?” You asked
“Ya didn’t mean it. You were just trying to help. Ya just… ya worry me so much, darling.” Engineer brooded
He took a cautious step forward, wary of making you flinch again. When you stood your ground, he wrapped his arms tight around you
“Yer my good boy/girl. I’m sorry for scaring ya. It won’t happen again, alright?”
You couldn’t control the tears that rolled down your face. You laid against his chest, bringing your arms up to clench the back of his shirt. Your small sobs and sniffles tugged at Engie’s heartstrings
“Argh, darling… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make ya cry.” He apologised again, voice gruff and sad.
You only cried more, burying your face into his shirt. The Engineer felt like the worst person in the entire world. He couldn’t believe he made the love of his life flinch and cry like that. It almost made him wanna turn on the waterworks…
“I’m sorry…” he whispered tearfully, grabbing a fistful of your hair and resting his chin on the top of your head
Medic💖
Medic was furious at you, scolding you with an icy glare. You bowed your head like a guilty dog, refusing to look up at him
“I am very disappointed in you!” Medic snapped
You bit back a sob, ashamed of what you did. He stood tall before you with his arms folded across his chest. You could just feel his blue eyes narrow behind his glasses
“Look at me.” Medic demanded. You nervously lifted your head up, looking him in the eye through teary vision. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” He hissed
You flinched back at the venom that dripped from his German accent. You couldn’t argue back anymore, only shielding your tearstained face from him with your hands
“I’m sorry!” You cried
You turned to run out of the infirmary, but a gloved hand grabbed your wrist. You squealed, whirling around to reveal the fat tears that rolled down your cheeks. The doctor gasped and his eyes widened, horrified that he did this to you
“Dove,” he gasped. Your breathing hitched as you choked out a wet sob, desperately wiping your cheeks with your arm. “Dove, look at me.” He repeated, this time much nicer
“No!” You cried, yanking out of Medic’s grasp and turning away fully. You were unable to contain your sobs, your whole body shaking as you rubbed your eyes. “You’re… you’re mean.”
That was the best you could do and you hated yourself for it. You didn’t think it was much, but it hit Medic deep. He didn’t want you to think he was mean… he tread carefully over to you, gently wrapping his arms around you from behind
“Argh… oh, love. I’m—I’m sorry. I did not mean it. Please do not be upset.” Medic frowned, resting his chin on the top of your head
You slowly began to calm down, sniffling as you wiped your tears a final time. “Really…?” You squeaked in a tiny voice
Medic gave a curt nod against your hair, hugging you tighter from behind
“Really. I love you, my dear.”
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pyrobean · 4 months
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SPEEDINGBULLET BUT IN THIS SCENARIO
I AM NOT GUILTY
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I AM NOT GUILTY EITHER I AM JUST THE ARTIST…
angst is my weakness.
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jermer10 · 3 months
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yo, if you’re not open for rqs now feel free to ignore/delete but i’m begging you to expand more on Scouts fake relationship in order to make ms pauling jealous yk. I’m stuck between the reader already having feelings for him and feeling bad during the relationship or the reader also developing feelings for scout when they realize that he’s not so bad… sometimes
TF2 scout fake dating trope
suggestive, gn reader | anon i want you reveal yourself /j
tw: violence, sliiiiight angst but not really teehee, swearing
drabbles under the cut :P
You sometimes regret ever taking this fucking job. You could prepare for a fight, being blown up, being shot at. There was no way to prepare yourself for Scout. He was simply always there, causing this feeling of disgust mixed with...lust? As dirty as that felt, you couldn't say you denied it. He paid you the time of day that no man ever really had, flirting with you relentlessly, defending you against anyone who opposed you, confiding in his struggles to you. And yet he still wanted Pauling? Any merc in their right mind could tell that Pauling was gay. As a matter of fact she had confided this in you months ago, gushing about her feelings for her boss. So when the offer to be his partner in order to make her jealous arose, she wanted you to take it.
"I mean, clearly this can segue into some sort of relationship, right? Like, guy realizes he has what he wants the whole time kind of thing." She spoke matter-of-factly, typing away on her computer as you leaned onto the space next to her desk, arms crossed over your chest. She didn't look up at you while she spoke, but you could tell this was more for her than you, I mean, finally having this guy off of her back? A dream for her, even if she had to put up with the 'I'm sorry Miss Paulin'! I found someone else, but don't let me break ya heart, plenty o' fish in the sea!' speech. "Yeah, I'm sure you know what being second best feels like." You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself off of the table and walking towards the exit. "Oh- come on y/n! Don't be like that!" Pauling turned, yelling out to you as you left her office. Maybe you were a bit harsh?
You knew why he had asked you of all mercs. You noticed the way he had become more flirtatious, more physical when Pauling was around. He had been trying this for months- to elicit some sort of reaction from the young woman, but to no avail. This was just his way of taking it all to the next step. But would it really be that bad to pursue something? Having at least a chance is better than not trying at all. You entered the dining room, gently shutting your eyes and running your hands through your hair, breathing in the stale air of the base's living quarters. This was home for you, a place where you could relax from all of it. "Sooooo, have ya thought about it?" You heard a voice come from the couch and jumped slightly. There he was, laying back into the corner of the lounge, legs spread and hair messy. He wasn't wearing his usual uniform, opting for some pale red basketball shorts and a plain white tee. How could someone so annoying be so attractive? "Yeah, fuck it. Couldn't hurt."
It wasn't long before your dynamic had shifted. During movie nights he had started cuddling up to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and allowing you to fall asleep on him. Throughout battles he would tourniquet your wounds, appearing genuinely upset when you had gotten hurt. You had even started sleeping over in eachother's rooms, passing out whilst reading his comics. The other mercs noticed this shift in behaviour, and without telling them, they had assumed you were a couple. Making kissy noises when you were seen together, patting him on the shoulder and complimenting his ability to bag you. He never refuted it. Never once looked disgusted. Never laughed it off.
You started to wonder whether he was doing this for Pauling at all? Or whether he was just trying to make this whole thing seem realistic to the others enough that she would believe it too. It didn't really matter to you, you figured you could enjoy the attention while it lasted, and eventually move on. That part stung. The moving on portion of the fake dating. The aftermath. The inevitable rejection- "Hey, Pauling here," The crackling of your radio knocked you out of your contemplation. "I have a job for you and Scout. Meet me at..." You could barely listen to her, the only thought running through your mind was the fact you would have to sit there knowing any and all affection he showed you would be for her. If only they had put this in the job description, maybe you never would have applied.
Scout was already there when you arrived, yapping as usual. You were out of earshot, but could only assume he was flirting with the poor girl. Only this time Pauling was...smiling? You felt like you had been punched in the gut. "I have a job to do." You mumbled to yourself. Knowing Pauling didn't like him didn't help with the deep rooted feelings of insecurity you had around the topic. Scout noticed you walking towards them and grinned, "There they are! My partner in crime." He chuckled, slinging his arm around your shoulder. "Hey, Pauling." You forced a smile. She noticed, giving you a look you couldn't place. Did she know something that you didn't?
"Shall we?" Scout opened the side of the van door for you, allowing you to climb inside. You smiled genuinely, even if it was all fake, he still had you charmed. The ride to wherever Pauling had wanted you to work was long, and Scout was nowhere near as chatty as you had assumed he would be. He sat opposite from you, bouncing a baseball off of your side of the van. You made light conversation with Pauling, asking about work and the Assistant's conference she attended with Bidwell. You were particularly interested in Bidwell, being close with him before joining the mercenaries, and were surprised he was even still working for Hale. Scout's once peaceful expression twisted into something that resembled annoyance every time you spoke of Bidwell, and a part of you liked it. You feigned ignorance as you gushed over your friendship with the man, Pauling doing nothing to downplay your praise. Eventually you had stopped at a cave, several warning signs littered the entrance. "I need you to go in there and kill a couple of nosy tourists."
"You coming?" She peered up from her clipboard at you, eyes flickering between the brooding boy off in the distance and you. "Do you need my answer to that?" You laughed. "I'll see you when we get out." She hummed, engrossed in whatever paperwork she had been doing. Scout was definitely mad, silence was a telltale sign of his upset. You wanted to ask, to hear him say it with his own words that he was jealous of Bidwell, but you knew better than to pry. You were good at reading him, and now wasn't the time to cause an argument. The cave was deep, and even with the expertly drawn map that Pauling had given you, you felt lost. It felt like an hour had passed until you found the tourists, they were horrified, staring down at the bodies of hundreds of high ranking officials, other mercenaries, and assassins. Even regular people like them were scattered among the pile. This was clearly where she had been dumping the remains of people, and suddenly the deterring signs out front made sense.
You tried to make their deaths quick, but life doesn't really work out that way. There were three of them, two of which you and Scout had taken out at the same time using your guns. That left the third person, a man, likely in his late 20s? His large hiking backpack, boots, and layered clothing made it clear he wasn't from here. His face resembled Bidwell's in a way? You felt dizzy looking at him. He ran, traversing deeper into the cave. You were aggravated, but it was nowhere near the level of anger that radiated off of Scout. He tackled the man, beating him repeatedly. By the time Scout got off of him, you couldn't even recognize the man. He swore, wiping the spray of blood off of his face.
You tried to be scared, you really did, but the way he stood there, bat in hand, covered in gore, eyes boring into yours? It was a huge turn-on. "Let's go." He commanded, pushing past you. You obliged, and followed him silently. Eventually you had to ask, it was eating away at you, and you figured he had released most of his rage onto the poor man lying deep in the cave. "Are you okay?" It came out a lot meeker than you had expected. "What do ya think? Ya think, 'Oh Scouty is gonna love hearin' me gush about that Bidwell fucker!' when you're supposed to be my partner?" You didn't expect him to be so blunt, let alone so rude about it. Other times you had seen him jealous over Pauling he had been whiny and pathetic. This time was completely different. "Yeah, your fake partner. To make Pauling jealous. I'm not your second fucking option, Scout! You don't like me! Do you know how hard it is for me? I have to see you sit there flirting with a girl who will never like you back when I'm right here!" He stopped walking, and turned to face you. He looked hurt, and you knew you had messed up.
You kept walking, neither of you needed the map or torch any longer as the light from the entrance lit your surroundings. The afternoon sky was a watercolour mixture of purple and orange, the sun set fast behind the mountainous terrain you found yourself standing in front of. Had you really been in the cave for that long? It would have been beautiful if not for the shitty mood you had found yourself in. "Hey! How did you gooo....." Pauling stopped herself. You gave her a look. That's all she needed to know before offering you the passenger seat. The ride back to base was uncomfortably quiet, the baseball that Scout had been using to bounce off of the wall rested in his palm. The future had never felt so uncertain in that moment.
You sat awkwardly at the right end of the couch. Scout on the left. The room was dark and movie night was coming to an end, mercs slowly filing out of the room until the two of you remained. He put on some random romantic comedy and relaxed into the lounge. Your whole body was tense. The events from earlier in the night had still weighed heavy on you both. And surprisingly, Scout was the first to speak. "So....you like me?" He grinned slightly. You were taken aback, that's what he got from your fight? "Yeah, don't let it get to your head, asshole." You mumbled, staring straight at the tv screen.
"I like you too. Have for a while now." You turned to him, wide eyed. "What?" He seemed embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess that's why I was actin' so weird about the Bidwell shit," He fidgeted with his dogtags. "I started the whole fake datin' thing to make Paulin' jealous, but it stopped feelin' like that the moment I actually started to spend time with ya...." Scout stumbled over his words. He wasn't very good with expressing himself verbally, despite his flirtatious nature. "I'm....sorry.." He mumbled. You scooted closer to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry too." He leaned down to kiss you. It was long, sweet, and everything you had ever dreamed of. "Be my partner for real?" You laughed. "After all of that? Would be crazy if I said no." Maybe he wasn't all that bad.
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obsidiandious · 7 months
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I discovered the circle brush and went buck wild (i like circles)
I was going to write something like this on my other blog but too late
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mozzcho · 1 year
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THIS IS OLD but I haven’t post it here before, so TAKE ANGST ABOUT SCOUT BEING FUCKING ABANDONED AS A CHILD
>be me >have a mental breakdown >romantic homicide on loop >have no dad >think of scout >gets inspired
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sicut-anima · 4 months
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Scout never learned how to tie a tie but when he was five years old he learned what a bastard was and that he was one
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agililyy · 9 months
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READ THE COMICS BEFORE WATCHING IF YOU HAVEN'T <33
not enough scout angst so i made some
here are some of the individual drawings!!
(try to ignore how i changed the shading style mid vid🥹🥹🥹🥹)
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So uh, I made art for a TF2 fanfic of mine
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I had a lot of fun with this lol
The speedpaint’s embarrassing though 👀💧
Oh and here’s the fic if anyone wants to read it
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bug-sy-boy · 10 months
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I just need a fic where sniper is just an asshole to scout. Scout tries to be friends and is always trying to strike up a conversation but sniper just shuts him down or tells him to fuck off. Scout who genuinely looked up to sniper and admired him slowly succumbing to snipers comments until one day sniper says something that is scouts last straw. After that scout makes no effort to talk to or be anywhere around sniper. He even takes it upon himself to avoid him. Sniper not realizing that his comments really affected the boy until he stopped talking to him. Sniper who realizes how lonely he is without the boy bothering him constantly.
Hurt/comfort or hurt/no comfort I need this
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brainrotwriter · 4 months
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Spy waited for tears and screams. Perhaps a gun to his head or a bat to his gut. Maybe a 'I hate you!' or a broken 'Hold me!'
In fact, he would have preferred it.
Anything, anything but this.
Anything but indifference to his biggest regret and shame.
Anything but this.
Remember This post I made about Scout being completely indifferent to the fact Spy is his dad and it slowly breaking Spy apart? I finally got around writing it out XD Come get your angst <3 <3 <3
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yumaind · 3 months
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HAS ANYONE DRAWN RED SPY AND BLU SCOUT BUT AS THE PAINTING OF IVAN THE TERRIBLE HOLDING HIS SON IN DESPAIR?!?"/?#?"?! CAUSE I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT IDK IF I HAVE THE TIME TO DRAW IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I MIGHT THO
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sonofthesaiyans · 2 months
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Something I gotta say to you Eren fans...
Let's be very clear, this is NOT a channel where you're going to find any love for Eren Yeager. So let me extend something important to you guys;
If for any reason ANY of you here still have any genuine sympathy for Eren, even after all he did to betray and manipulate his friends, to warp space and time to slaughter billions of people, to betray everything the Survey Corps stood for.......
I extend you some advice. One, get some professional help IMMEDIATELY, because I have absolutely no respect for your affection towards Eren after he committed global genocide and knowingly sacrificed his own friends to see it through. I have no respect for anyone who blindly glosses over his crimes.
This shit is called ATTACK ON TITAN. NOT ATTACK ON EREN, this is NOT the same anime that hit the scene back in 2013, I will not acknowledge this bizarre shift in the story as a legitimate part of the AOT narrative, and nor should you. It is wrong to enable Hajime Isayama like that, who legit tried to frame Eren's actions as justifiable, something he WASN'T doing with Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie up to a certain point. Eren wasn't the initial villain, and if that really was Isayama's game from the beginning, I refer you to my previous post about how much Eren poisons his own saga.
And second, if you're not prepared to come to grips with that, you better keep your feelings for Eren FAR AWAY from this channel. Just, don't fucking bring that filth to my page. I don't want it. Because, GENOCIDE. Romanticizing a character guilty of that is NOT okay. This cunt from Hita, Japan trying to frame this kind of character as a tragic hero is NOT okay. Not here, I will NOT listen to it.
"Thank you Eren, you became a mass murderer to save us...." Fuck off. NO, the anime ending does not absolve Isayama of that line.
Tread carefully. It's already going to be ugly enough the next time I catch up with Bryce Papenbrook, and especially the day I finally catch up to Isayama himself.
Bottom line guys, FUCK EREN.
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