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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 3 months

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The Blue Eyed Bandit

When a wanna-be cowboy rides in all the way from Tennessee, he’s laughed out of town, but Y/N can see something in him that others can’t, especially when their town becomes the target of ruthless gang of bandits.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Cowboy!Au, Angst, Fluff)

5.9k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, prostitution, flirting, drinking, bar fights, guns, stalking, blood, wound care, knives, makeouts, hickeys, description of injury, gun sucking, degredation, groping, (attempted) kidnapping

An: I’ve wanted to write a story about Johnny as a cowboy for a while XD This was inspired by a lot of things, but especially the Mexico episode of Viva la Bam! I specificly wrote this story to be set in the ‘1850s, though it’s not explicitly stated. I did more research for this fic than any other I’ve written before, on topics from wound care to desert fruits and breeds of horses! It was super fun to write so please let me know if you would be interested in something similar to this in the future!!

You were lucky. It’s odd to say that working as a prostitute in a parlor house would be the luckier of any number of options, but it was. Leaning against the dry, rotting wooden post that held up the roofed porch of Madame Evette’s Gentleman Parlor, your current place of board and employment, you rolled this idea of luck around your mind. There’s always worse options, like that brothel up the road that had half its staff wiped out in the last smallpox outbreak. Working here, you always had a hot meal, warm baths, proper living quarters, health insurance, and much more reputable clients. In fact, you had started to get familiar with your regulars because nobody new ever seemed to come there. Looking out at the high, sandy bluffs that framed the desolate, arid New Mexico landscape, you realized that this was a town that new people didn't want to come to, but whose citizens seemed to want to leave by any means.

Lost in thought, you hardly noticed when a man walked up to the creaky railing you were leaning against until he tipped his hat at you with a warm, half smile, “Howdy, ma’am.” It shocked you how cordial he acted to you of all people. Still, you met his eyes. “Hi.” You recognized him- one week ago, this wanna-be cowboy from out east rode into here of all places to pursue his wild west fantasy, and he was already the laughingstock of the town. Still, you humored him a little, “What can I do ya for?” While he was a little dorky, you recognized the charming air he had about him that none of your other clients seemed to possess as he made conversation, “Well, I was under the assumption that this is the place for a gentleman like myself to find some company and,” Holding out his palm flat to take yours, he spoke low and with an accent you couldn’t quite place, “I would be delighted to be graced with yours.” Part of you assumed this was some sort of cruel trick he was pulling, treating a woman like you as a common lady, but you gave him your hand anyways.

Just then, the Madame caught sight of this through the window and swiftly came storming outside with a broom, “Keep those dirty paws away from my girls!” The commotion seemed to draw a good deal of attention as some of the girls inside peered out the door in various states of undress to giggle at the spectacle going down on the porch, and then there was you, caught in the middle of all this. “This is a proper establishment! You can take those dusty boots of yours down to the whorehouse across the street!” She chased him out into the streets, and there went the cowboy, ducking down an alleyway, laughing to himself.

You and the rest of the girls spent the evening lounging about the well furnished parlor, drinking wine in your garters and stockings while you entertained tonight’s men. Despite what people may think, your interactions with patrons didn’t start in the bedroom- there’s some drinking and singing and fraternizing one would usually have to get past before the fun stuff started. But the whole time you were chatting up the fat cat town banker while he puffed away at his cigar, you couldn’t help but think back to your interaction with that cowboy from earlier. There was something different in the way he treated you- how he saw you compared to how the rest of the town did. Most of the men you tended to wouldn’t be caught dead in your presence outside of this place, but he felt no shame in the slightest to interact with you. In fact, he seemed to have taken a liking to you. The thought made your chest feel warm.

Then, out of the blue, there was this great commotion outside, loud enough to rattle the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling. Oh. This couldn’t be an earthquake- earthquakes aren’t usually accompanied by the whip cracking sounds of gunfire. Oh. This had to be a saloon fight gone bad. You nearly fell to the ground as everyone in the parlor flooded out the front door for a chance to bear witness to this spectacle, and of course you followed shortly behind because while you were a lady, you were never one to miss a good fight. There was always something or other going on in this town, whether it be a shootout or a bank robbery, so most people were sort of desensitized to it at this point. Dashing out onto the dusty streets, all indigo from the night, so many people crowded into the little tavern next door that you would’ve thought the cheap wooden floors would’ve given out from sheer weight. The place was buzzing. You weaseled in, squirming past people. At first, all you could see over the heads of those in front of her was the town bartender Steve, the one with the shaved head, cautiously emerging from where he had ducked behind the counter, all pale under yellow lamplight. The bar in front of him was completely splintered and half of the bottles that sat behind it were shattered, sticky amber liquid draining down the walls and to the floor. The whole thing was pretty damn tragic- you knew Steve, and by extension knew how he had been busting his behind, having practically built this place from the ground up and kept it running with only a couple saloon girls for help. It was his way of fulfilling a passion you always found to be pretty selfless: making people happy. Albeit, it was through alcohol and cheap bar tricks, he still took it seriously, like it was his baby, and in one moment it was destroyed.

As you squirmed closer to the front of the crowd, that’s when you caught it. A blur of mauve then step on a chair, step on a table- crash! A man leapt out of a window with an armful of cash, green bills fluttering in the air with the sparkling shower of glass. Immediately, you recognized him, but anyone in town could with one look at that purple mink duster with the strange heart symbol on the back that hung from his shoulders or with a glance at that face that was just made for wanted posters. But just like that, he disappeared into the night. And there, on the floor at the feet of the people who had front row seats to all this, was the cowboy from earlier, and he did not look good. Well, he looked good, but he looked unwell, especially with the slowly growing red stain on his shirtfront. “My, my, my…you gotta deathwish, boy? Or are you just plain stupid?” A man standing at the front of the crowd glowered down at him like he was horseshit on his shoe, “Ana’body five miles round’d know not to mess with them bandits.” If it wasn't bad enough, he had picked a fight with the leader of the meanest gang of ruffians in the west, this ruthless fellow that went by the name Bam on account of all the chaos he caused wherever he set foot and that subtleness wasn't necessarily his style. Of course he didn’t know what he was getting into, but the bandit king was gone, and everyone had forgotten about the cowboy that was still bleeding on the hardwood, so you ran over to the bar for a wet towel. Still shaken up, Steve handed you the bar cloth he was unconsciously gripping and, as the townspeople filtered out, you went to tend to the man in the ground.

“Whats’re name, cowboy?” It was pity that urged you to help him, surely. As you peeled away the dark cloth that stuck to his skin, his chest rose with heavy breaths. He watched with half lidded eyes as you dabbed away the blood that was steadily trickling from where he was grazed with a bullet, swallowing as your hands ghosted over a faded tattoo of a woman’s name on his chest before he murmured in a voice still hoarse, “Johnny.” Smiling softly, you finished up cleaning his wound, “Well, what you did back there was mighty brave, Johnny.” Now that you got a look at him, you couldn’t deny that he was a pretty well shaped young man. Cracking an exhausted grin, he let out a labored chuckle, still polite despite the circumstances, “Well thank’y, ma’am.” Gazing up at you with those blood loss dazed eyes, Johnny murmured, a little embarrassed, “I’d invite you back to mine, but I don't think it’d be your style, considering. I, uh- I’ve been sleepin’ in the horse stables for the past week…” There was something undeniably endearing about that fact. You helped him to stand as you went to pull yourself up, “Well, what about tomorrow? We could have lunch together.” Stumbling to his feet, Johnny drawled, “That sounds like a fine idea.”

So you dressed up nice that Sunday in a dress you “borrowed” from one of the other girls that worked at the parlor with you- this vibrant pink dress, the color of ripe red pitaya fruit. The usually lively streets of the town were deserted on Sunday mornings, and since you avoided leaving the parlor during the day due to the looks you got on the street, Sundays were the only day you really went out for fresh air. Johnny was already waiting for you in front of the bar, still in the same clothes as yesterday, bloodstains and all. Seeing you fully dressed for the first time in a sort of ‘you clean up well’ moment, he looked you up and down before a smile crept onto his lips, “Why aren’t you at church?” You shrugged, “I ain’t exactly the churchgoing type, and if I was, they don’t take too well to my kind. You?” The two of you began to walk down the dusty streets, the midday sun beating down and warming your skin. Johnny walked in step with you, inching a little closer, “Well, neither am I.”

You ended up at this little oasis up on a hill at the outskirts of town- one of the few green places left in this god forsaken place. Sitting down on the grass under a Blue Jacaranda tree, you set your woven basket that you carried the food in down and you caught Johnny nearly drooling as you opened it. It was all food you found lying around the parlor- fluffy pink and white conchas, warm boiled esquites, and a package of salt pork wrapped in brown paper and twine. Handing him one of the pastries, he tore into it like a starved man. Noticing your surprise at his eagerness, Johnny stopped himself and added bashfully, “Sorry…In- In all truth, ma’am, I’ve been livin’ off’a bar peanuts for the past few days…” It was believable- that cowboy was looking mighty thin. Of course, he went right back to eating.

The two of you talked for a while. He told you all about the mishaps that happened to him on his journey there all the way from Tennessee, a part of the old Southwest territory, and about how before he realized he wanted to move out west to pursue his cowboy dreams, he was a writer for his town’s newspaper. There was no shortage of stories with this man, and you couldn’t complain because he spoke with this vividness to his words that just captivated you. Johnny asked you about what it’s like in your line of work. You told him that you grew up on a farm and came here for a better life, some life that turned out to be. But as long as you had a clean bed to sleep in and warm meals, you’d be pretty content.

“So,” You started after a silence, “How’s that wound healin’ up?” Swallowing what was in his mouth, Johnny loostend the top few buttons of his shirt and pulled the collar to the side over his bicep, exposing the half scabbed over pink flesh. Maybe it was just an excuse to touch his chest, the intimacy made more so that you were leaning over his body as he sat up on his elbows, looking down at you. Fighting back a blush from creeping onto your cheeks, you blinked and met his eyes, “It, uh…doesn’t look infected, no.” As you pulled away, your gaze lingered on his still open shirt, “Is that your woman’s name- on your chest?” Johnny glanced down at the name scrawled on his tan skin, “Nah. S’my daughter’s.” Never in your days could you imagine a man as young as him a father. Still, you couldn’t help but ask, “So she’s waitin’ for you with your lady back home?” Shaking his head, he smiled gently as if remembering something fondly, “Oh, no- my little girl’s all grown up. And my wife,” he wiped some crumbs off of the side of his mouth, his voice falling a little serious, “well, she left me ‘bout a year ago this November.” You asked for an inch and he gave you a mile. At this point, you couldn’t deny that you were interested in him, but you still maintained your stuff demeanor, “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” Glancing up at the sky, you shielded your eyes with your hand, “S’noon. Church should be letting out soon.”

Conversation was light as you walked back in town and he dropped you off at the parlor like a gentleman. You made a resolution that this would be routine- outcasts like you needed to stick together after all, or at least that was what Johnny said. It was cute, in a way, all this wisdom he had. As the two of you were chatting as you passed an alleyway, you saw something out of the corner of your eyes- this dark figure and a glint of something diamond blue that sent chills down your spine. But when you turned to take a second look, the shadow disappeared.

That next morning, you and some of the other girls were relaxing on the porch in your frilly underclothes and chatting because you had no clients and, in your line of work, that is what you call advertising. Every now and then a man passing by would whistle at you and you’d have to go up to the rail and flirt with them a little, standing just where you did on that day you first ran into Johnny. His plight still occupied your mind. Poor guy- his daughter left him and so did his wife. He’s probably a very lonely man. Before you could get to thinking about how you would be more than happy to help him out a little with that loneliness, your attention was drawn elsewhere. It seemed that you were too slow to notice the panicked looks and the people starting to make themselves scarce until a hush fell over the street and the air was so tense you could cut it with a knife. Just as you could’ve sworn you could hear yourself sweat, that’s when you saw him.

This hulking, dark mass looked like a vulture on the prowl as he sulked past a roadside fruit stand. There was no question who this was. Your blood ran cold at the dark chuckle that reverberated through the bandit king’s throat at the poor, shivering man who owned the stand as Bam snatched something out of one of the baskets full of fruit, not bothering to pay for it. He was subtle and silent there, something nobody had ever known him to be. Flicking his Bowie knife out of its leather sheath, the silver blade glimmered under the hot southwestern sun like sparkling hot oil as he wasted no time carving the skin off of that pitaya fruit. Though his eyes were concealed under the shadow of the brim of his hat, you felt Bam’s chilling gaze on you from that predatory grin he wore as sticky, red juices bubbled up around the Damascus steel, smearing across his blade and dribbling down his fingers. As if to emphasize a point, he dropped the now discarded peel to the ground and brought the knife to his lips, a serpent-like tongue flicking out to lap at the last traces of sweet nectar from the sharp, glinting edge.

And he smiled at you.

A cool wind blew through the air as you and Johnny sat down at the top of the hill that Sunday. “You know, ma’am,” Sitting with his legs out, cowhide boots stretched out in front of him on the grass, he turned to you, “I never caught your name- your real one, I mean.” Glancing up from the basket, you shook yourself from your thoughts of your encounter with Bam that last week, swallowing before you replied, “It’s, uh- it’s Y/N.” A warm smile spread across his face as you spoke, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. “Y/N. That is a mighty beautiful name.” That warm feeling- that same feeling as before, swelled up in your chest as you stared out onto the golden desert that seemed to stretch on for miles in the early morning sun. “Johnny.” You cleared your throat, “Is this how you expected it to go? Life, I mean.” God knows that you didn’t. You came here looking for a better life. What a sham that was. It was rare that you really got to feeling sorry for yourself, but sometimes, and especially after what happened, it was hard. Feeling nauseated, you hadn’t touched a crumb of the food you brought for the both of you, while Johnny had eagerly gotten through more than half the basket by the time you spoke up. “If you’re askin’ me if I thought I’d end up a cowboy, traveling the land and rightin’ wrongs, I would say yes.” He added hurriedly, a little embarrassed, “But, so far in this town, that ain’t exactly what I’ve been doin’...”

“So, you’re not gonna stay?” Unconsciously, you had inched just a little closer to him, nearly laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you talked. This clearly didn’t pass under Johnny’s notice as his voice fell sweet like honey against your ears, “Well, I didn’t say that. What I mean is, “ He turned toward you slightly, so close to your face that his lips nearly brushed against your cheek as he spoke in a low, slow voice, “all I’d need is a reason to stay.” You only then just noticed how, with the way your face was tilted towards his, your lips were nearly, almost touching. And then they did. But it felt nice- different from the sloppy men who had stolen kisses from you before. It felt soft, and natural. Almost upon contact, Johnny sat back with wide eyes, surprised at his own impulsive actions, “O-Oh lord…” His voice got real quiet, nearly wavering, as he blushed softly, “That may’ve been the least gentlemanly thing I’ve ever done.“

You stopped him, placing a hand against the soft fabric of his dark, half unbuttoned shirt front and leaning back in to gently press your lips to his, your eyelashes fluttering shut. Johnny’s warm muscles were initially tense under your touch but as he relaxed into the kiss, so did his body, letting out a soft groan against your lips. You had never made a man blush before, much less react so earnestly. Reaching out to you, the cowboy’s hands found purchase in your clothing, calloused fingers tangling into your calico dress as he hurriedly undid the brass buttons. Your heart fluttered in your chest and your head swam from the passion and desert heat as you started to think that this was maybe what love was supposed to be. Johnny’s breath came out in hot pants against your newly exposed skin as he hungrily sucked mauve blotches onto your neck and chest, his facial scruff tickling a little as he practically devoured you. But he was gentle with it. So sweet and gentle.

Nothing could have pulled Johnny away from you then, not even the gunshot that cracked out loud in the town below while the two of you were still caught up in the heat of the moment, so you were the one who had to pull his face away from your bosom by his hair. You could feel his breath fanning out against your skin as you sat up to get a better look at the commotion. Howling and cackling like twin coyotes, off rode the bandit king away with his fair haired cohort, arms full of loot from their latest hit- the town general store. They had swiped a small fortune in gunpowder, dynamite, and tobacco. Of course, this drew the townspeople away from church early, especially when one of the two young men who owned the store ran out, shouting and brandishing a shotgun. He fired three or four shells in their general direction, but his shots didn’t come near the hides of the bay mustangs nor the bandits that rode away on them, kicking up dust.

Johnny went back to the horse stables that night and realized just how much everything was looking up for him. He had a roof over his head, the favor of a lovely woman he would quite frankly lay down his life for, and hot meals every night courtesy of the man who owned the stable, a fellow by the name of Chris who he had gotten to know pretty well. In fact, besides the town bartender Steve, he was his only friend, but it was hard to count Steve as a friend because he was always tacking extra tequila shots onto Johnny’s tab while he distracted him with some trick he picked up in the circus. Still, he could let that slide because business was business. Chris, on the other hand, was just a sweet guy who loved horses, and he had taken such a liking to Johnny’s horse, Noami, that he let him sleep in her horse stall there free of charge.

So that explained why he was in the stables in the middle of the night, laying back against her shiny, chestnut coat as she slept with her head against his chest, snoring softly. Funnily enough, it was the horse sleeping against him that woke up first when a dark figure hopped the front gates into the stables. Blinking awake after she stood up, Johnny sat up curiously to catch sight of the silhouette opening stall doors. He thought about Chris- all those nights of charity and companionship, just for him to let some two bit their run off with his buddy’s pride and joy? Oh, no way in hell he was going to let that happen. A flash of emotions went through his mind as he threw himself to his feet and stood up to block the front gate. Johnny’s voice was nearly a growl as he gazed across at the bandit who was currently trying to make off with Jezebel, Chris’ prized palomino mare. “Y’aint leavin’ with her.” Though he didn’t initially recognize him, Johnny put two and two together quickly.

Bam was dead quiet, only visible as the tombstone shape he made in the darkness as he got low, light glinting off of the silver spurs affixed to his heels. Then, all at once it was as if the cowboy had taken a steam engine to the solar plexus, while in actuality it was a black suede wrapped fist that had knocked the air from his lungs. Still, Johnny stayed on his feet, coughing hard and hitting him with a poorly placed uppercut that knocked that hat clean off of his head. Bam sputtered, his mouth now bloodied and dripping onto the sand as he ducked down, taking a step to the side as his right hand reached for the gun afixed to his hip. It was no wonder the bandit king would fight dirty. Before Johnny could duck away, cold steel collided with his orbital bone in a skillfully placed pistol whip and he was knocked out cold. As the cowboy’s body fell limp to the ground, Bam huffed and spun his trusty piece around a finger before slotting it back in its leather holster, shooting a look at the man below him that spelled out that his resistance would not go unpunished.

When Johnny woke up, the first person to come to his aid was the stable owner himself. Chris picked him up under the armpits, lugging his half awake self over to a wooden chair in a corner and leaving him there as he went to fetch some medical supplies from his home next door, leaving the door open as midday sun flooded in. Blinking awake, the first thing Johnny did was look around to see if maybe what had happened last night was a bad dream and that the horse was still waiting in her stable, which was especially hard given the purple swelling around his left eye, but her stall door was wide open from the previous night. As Chris returned with a leather medical bag, Johnny coughed, his voice gravelly, “He- he got away with Jezebel…” This was a low point for him. It seemed that no matter how or when he tried to intervene, there was nothing this cowboy could do, even for the man who had shown him such charity. Kneeling down and threading catgut sutures onto the curved needle, Chris seemed forlorn, yes, but there was an appreciative inflection to his voice as he stitched up the split in Johnny’s cheek, “But he could’ve gotten away with a lot more if you weren't here. I’d say that makes you a hero in my book!” Turning it over in his head, he decided that maybe he had a point with that, but he still wasn't going to tell Y/N. She didn’t need to know. As the needle pierced the cowboy’s skin, he winced, sucking a breath in through his teeth. As Johnny peered down at the dried blood that certainly wasn't his that still remained on his knuckles, he swallowed hard, his voice still tense and very grave, “I’ll get’re back for you. Promise.”

So you heard no word of the stolen horses the next morning and went about your day without a care in the world, tending to clients as usual. You were especially busy that night, feverishly going from man to man, doing your thing and racking up quite a sum in commissions from all the whiskey you pawned off. In fact, you were so focused that you nearly jumped when you heard your name, “Y/N.” Madame Evette tapped you on the shoulder, drawing your attention away from the client you were currently entertaining, “Room seven. There’s a gentleman waitin’ for you upstairs.” It struck you as odd because while men who wanted to skip all the fluff wasn't that uncommon, it didn’t happen every night. Apologizing to the fellow you were talking to with a red lipsticked kiss on the cheek, you turned to hurry up the creaky staircase, making clicky noises against the wood in your little heeled boots.

Wandering down the hall of rooms upstairs, you cracked open the door of room seven to darkness inside from a put out lantern. Oh, poor guy- he must be shy. That makes the whole no canoodling thing make more sense. As you closed the door behind you, you noticed that there was just enough light from the moon trickling in the open window that you could still see a general outline of the man sitting in the wooden chair at the far corner of the room with his knees about a mile apart as you approached him, doing your little flirty routine, “So, what can I do ya’ for, handsome?” Wordlessly, the figure gestured down with two fingers and you knew what he was asking for, especially after he shifted his hips to sit lower in the chair with a huff. Getting onto your knees, you positioned yourself between his thighs, the floor chilling the skin of your bare legs. Reaching out, you started to undo his pants, and while the downstairs parlor was consistently noisy, the soft metallic clinking of a belt buckle was the only noise in the otherwise silent room. Your lips fell open and your eyes suddenly went wide at the sudden, unmistakable ice cold feeling against your forehead.

It was the muzzle of a revolver. The voice that rumbled out of the man above you was nearly a snarl as he spoke through his teeth, “You make one peep an’ I swear to god,” he pressed the tip harder against your head for emphasis and you could swear you heard a smirk in his voice, “I’m puttin’ this bullet in your fuckin’ skull.” Your heartbeat pounded in your ribcage as you felt your head swim and you thought that this is what it feels like to be a jackrabbit caught in the jaws of a coyote. Quivering, your gaze nervously trailed up his body, and you could feel the color drain from your face when your sight fell upon his glinting, all too familiar vulture eyes, flickering like blue hot steel. Click. The bandit king slowly pulled back on the hammer, his hand so close to your face you could see his fingers curl around the mother of pearl handle and read the words etched into the barrel as he tightened his grip with his finger on the trigger. And he chuckled this deep, predatory laugh, grinning down at you with a mouth full of fangs as he spoke slow, deliberately, “Now you’re gonna stand up nice n’ slow with those hands b’hind yer back- and you are gonna be real quiet.” Frozen in fear, you couldn’t move under the shadow that looked over you even if you wanted to keep your brain inside your skull, which you really, really did. “Y’takin’ me fr’a fool, whore?” Bam’s thick accent deepened with agitation as he spit his words, nearly barking, “I said,”

“Stand. Up.” A gloved hand roughly tangled in your hair and yanked you up on shaky deer legs, forcing you to weakly comply much to his satisfaction with the gun still snugly pressed against your forehead. Standing maybe six inches away from you, you picked up on the distinct scent of alcohol and tobacco on his breath. With how his gaze lingered at your lips, you could tell he was getting an idea of something else he could do with that gun, but he just nodded, relenting just slightly at your compliance, “That’s it, girl. Now turn around.” Standing up after you, Bam jabbed the revolver between your shoulder blades making you arch your back as he harshly grabbed your wrists and deftly bound them with the red bandana he wore around his neck. Pulling the gun away from your spine for a second, a warning shot cracked out through the ceiling that made you jump, your eyes nearly bugging out of your skull in fear as you yelped. But your terror was funny- so damn funny to Bam as he pushed you along, the burning hot muzzle returning to where it once was.

The scene downstairs was absolute chaos after that bullet went through the ceiling. Startled patrons and half clothed women scrambled outside, flooding into the streets and attracting quite a bit of attention, especially from the cowboy that was lingering outside the horse stables before he was set to retire for the night. Even though every instinct in him told him to stay away based on the outcome of his previous heroic efforts, Johnny’s body lurched forward almost involuntarily, dashing towards the chaos that Madame Evette’s Gentleman Parlor had become. Pushing past frightened patrons, he stormed in right as Bam was walking you down the staircase as you stumbled in front of him. Your panic-stricken eyes met Johnny’s (or at least, the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut) as he stared at the scene in front of him, his tone stern but his fear giving way to a trace of vulnerability in his voice after he swallowed hard, “Let her go.” The man behind you tugged you back hard by your bound wrists as the gun relocated to your temple, wedging you in place between the weapon and where the bandit king rested his head on your shoulder, nuzzling against your cheek. “Oh, no way…” Bam held eye contact with Johnny as purred into your ear, speaking melodically as he taunted both you and him, “I gotch’re woman…an’ I don’t feel like givin’ her back.” Adding insult to injury, with his torso pressed snug against your back in a crude imitation of intimacy, his free hand, which was sitting on your hip, slid up your body posessively, reaching to roughly fondle your chest as he let out a low, predatory growl, his gaze challenging the cowboy across from him.

If you could’ve seen the white hot fury in Johnny’s eyes. Blinded by rage, he didn’t even consider using the pistol tucked into his holster, instead lunging to tackle Bam to the ground. You slipped out of his tight grasp just in time, clamoring to safety on your hands and knees on the hardwood floor as the cowboy just wailed on the guy. The struggle between the two was like watching two bighorn sheep with their horns locked in conflict, a blur of instinct and emotion, all rabid and teeth and fists. Letting out shuddering breaths, all you could do was watch the violent scene in front of you with your heart pounding out of your chest, not daring to move an inch. The only thing that could’ve pulled Johnny off of the man beneath him was when the town sheriff stormed in, grabbing him by the back of his shirt collar and throwing him off of the bandit king, or what was left of him as he lay limp on the ground. He was beaten to a pulp, almost literally- just a wheezing, bubbling mess of blood and bruising with a few teeth missing. Pulling Bam up by his sweat soaked black curls, Sheriff Tremaine held him to dangle in the air, glaring at the man in his hand with unadulterated disgust, “You’n you’re little gang’re goin’ away for a while.” There was no doubt that he had witnessed the brutality the cowboy inflicted, especially with the blood still dripping off of his still raw knuckles, but it seemed that he would let it slide this time, glancing to you and Johnny and tipping his hat, “We’re gonna get to roundin’ up the rest’a these bandits.”

Without a proper leader, the most fearsome gang of criminals in the west were left with nothing to hold them together, letting the sheriff's men easily pick them off and throw them in the slammer where they rightfully belonged. Life, for once in that godforsaken town, was peaceful. And Johnny? Well, after he was credited as the man who took down the bandits, he was hailed as the town hero, especially after he helped rebuild the bar and returned Jezebel to her stall at the town stables. Even Madame Evette had taken a liking to him, permitting him to come and go to the parlor whenever he felt the need to visit you- on the condition that he got a new pair of boots.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #ehren mcghehey #dave england #jeff tremaine #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #cowboy!au #angst #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #yes I know pitaya isn’t realisticly that juicy but for euphemism purposes #Spotify

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asskickedbygirl · 1 year

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The Other Woman

Bam Margera x F!Reader & Ryan Dunn x F!Reader

Desc: You’re who Bam comes to whenever Jenn’s away, and Ryan thinks you deserve better than that.

A/n: this came to me randomly and i had to get it out… also first time writing on a laptop so format is different lol! listened to a lot of jeff buckley while writing this too

Warnings: smut (18+), angst, p in v, cheating, oral (f!receiving)

3.5k words

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“Pssst. C’mere Trouble!” You whisper-shouted out to Bam’s cat from your bedroom door, attempting to lure him inside. It became routine at this point for the cat to sleep in your room, after all you were the one feeding it and emptying the litter box even if Novak claimed he did it. Eventually the black and white pet wandered lazily into your room after you rattled a plastic bag of cat treats to sweeten the deal. Almost immediately after you shut the door you heard a knock from outside, another thing that became routine...

You opened the door reluctantly to find a shirtless Bam, not that him being shirtless was out of the ordinary or anything. He wore that same look you knew all too well as he pushed the door to be more ajar, allowing Trouble to run right back out.

“Hey it took me a fucking age to get him in here in the first place idiot!” You waved the bag of treats around animatedly making Bam narrow his brows.

“You keep cat treats in your room?”

You rolled your eyes. “Not the point.” Bam took this as his queue to push himself into your room despite your attempt to bar him.

“No, not tonight Bam.” You tried to avoid eye contact but he just kept pushing, closing the door behind him as you both spoke lowly.

“Come on. Jenn’s finally out of town for once.” You swallowed thickly at the mention of her name and Bam picked up on this.

“You’re not starting to feel all guilty now are you? You and Jenn don't even like each other!”

You shot Bam a nasty look. “We like each other!’

He simply scoffed. “Oh yeah like you even speak at all.”

“Well who’s fault is that, huh?!” Bam rolled his eyes and bit his lip.

“Don't get all mad at me tonight. Come on I know you want this.” He leaned closer to you, neck bent so your faces were close together, your breath hitching as you tried to delay the inevitable.

You folded your arms and looked him in the eyes, which certainly didn't help. God he looks sexy when he's needy. He wet his lips and took your wrist in his hand, leading your own down to his crotch, palm feeling the tent in his pants.

“Feel how bad I need you.”

You thought of a million things you could’ve said to him. Tell him to go jerk himself off, call Jenn if he needed to fuck that bad, even to just get the fuck out but none of those options seemed tempting. In fact the only thing you really wanted to give in to were his enticing lips, practically begging to be kissed. And that's what you did, crashing yours onto his. He always made it so you made the first move, probably some fucked up little game of his.

As much as you hated yourself for what you did, you always found yourself under him or on top of him, his lips on yours and hands clutching at every inch of your body whenever Jenn was out of the way. You always tried to keep your noises quiet, whimpering into his mouth or biting down on your hand but you could never be silent enough, the guys giving you awkward side glances each morning after, no matter how hard you tried to hide it, they knew. You hated how their eyes bored into you, feeling the judgement sink into your skin even if they were as much your friends as they were Bam’s. But you’d much prefer judgement over the dreaded... pity.

Pity. Fuck pity. It’s not like you’re not complicit in what you and Bam would do, it was your fuck up too, not just his. You resented the fact you might be viewed as a poor little damsel, the other woman, the one waiting on Bam’s knock on your door like your prince charming had finally arrived. You wanted to fuck him too, not just be fucked. You were getting something out of this whole deal as well, or so you told yourself.

That night it was rather quick, no stretched-out foreplay just him inside of you in a matter of minutes. You were conscious of the fact that with each thrust of Bam’s hips, your headboard would lightly hit against your wall, the wall of which you shared with Ryan. Already your head was swarming with imaginings of the looks he would give you in a couple hours, your cheeks now burning from something other than your impending orgasm. You shoved your face down in the pillows to muffle the sounds of your moans as you reached your big finish, Bam’s hands holding your hips with force as he continued to plow into you. Your tightening around Bam lead to his increasing moans and even tighter grip on your waist, thumb pushing into the flesh forcefully. With a final statement of “I’m gonna come.” Bam spilled into you, letting out a loud groan the others had to have heard.

After a few seconds of panting stillness, Bam removed himself from you and fell flat on his back beside you on the mattress, stuffing his dick back in his pants. You rested your head against his chest for as long as Bam deemed it necessary before he stood up and picked up his sweatpants, ready to head back to his room. He never spent the night, too afraid of the tenderness.

The next morning was about as awkward as you anticipated, a brooding silence falling upon the group as you ate the breakfast Ape kindly made for you all. Bam was always good at pretending nothing had happened and that everything was normal, you not so much. Your eyes were shifting all around the room to avoid Ryan’s gaze that kept falling onto you, much too embarrassed to address anything. When the others were distracted by something in the living room Ryan finally opened his mouth.

“Thin walls.” You felt the toast you had eaten get stuck in your throat. Sure you knew that they knew but this was really the first time it was being talked about in the open, the topic was unainomously agreed to be taboo, you figured. You swallowed the food and scratched the back of your head, still not looking Ryan in the eyes.

“Not like I’m proud of it.” You started chewing the skin off of your lips, a nervous habit. You felt Ryan move his chair closer before he spoke your name in a low drawl. That's what forced you to make eye contact. His eyes weren’t cold and judgy but appeared soft, almost too soft.

“Don't go around pitying me. I know it’s fucked up, I’m not being used.” You spat, a little more harsh than you intended. Ryan just tilted his head.

“Oh yeah? He comes to you for no reason at all then, just your company?” Tough fucking love. You knew deep down Ry was right, that Bam was using you for sex and nothing more. You weren't even sure if you were doing it for a rush or for sex but it wasn’t because you loved him or anything, you didn’t. Even still it was easier to act angry than actually call out the truth.

“Fuck off Ryan. It’s none of your business.” You scowled, shoving your chair back and standing up, ready to go off in a huff.

“Stop doing it to yourself.” You rolled your eyes at Ryan's words.

“I don't need your sympathy.” And with that you were off to your room, ready to sulk for the day.

Over the next month or so you dwelled on the thoughts Ryan’s snarky comments brought up. “Why do you do it?” The question stuck in your brain like gum in your hair, bothersome and stubborn to get out. It wasn't until the night Jenn got home after a particularly long period away that it dawned on you. That night your bed felt so empty and your body so cold and untouched. You needed the warmth, the body, the feeling. When Jenn was around you were practically ignored and so you longed desperately for Bam to notice you, to talk to you, to touch you. You didn't want him, you wanted the thing he gave to you that you didn't get very often. Attention.

Jenn and Bam were fighting more often now, you knew this not just from the sounds of yelling and smashing coming from their room but because the knocks were becoming more frequent and your sex even rougher. He used you to take out his anger, tight grip in your hair and hand over your throat, tightening with each thrust. He enjoyed the fact you let him do whatever he wanted to you, that you weren’t like Jenn, kicking up a fuss at every given opportunity. In fact you were obedient, opening your legs and presenting your mouth for fucking whenever he needed it. You liked the feeling of being needed, that Bam wanted you. However those emotions were often overshadowed by the fact you felt pathetic. Humiliated that you allowed yourself to be used so explicitly. Now your were beginning to pity yourself, the very thing you hated most.

After another night with Bam, Ryan’s eyes burned into you.

“Can you stop looking at me like that?” You muttered so only he could hear, the others talking and laughing loudly on the other side of the table. Ryan continued to stare, leaving you to glare at him.

“You deserve better.” He spoke and you scoffed.

“Can we stop with this? I’m an adult I can make my own decisions”

“Bam’s an asshole, just stop doing it to yourself.” You felt your face begin to burn, eyes flicking up to meet his, no pity in them anymore but they looked almost pleading.

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I care about you.”

The words stuck around in the air for a while, unsure if you should respond or not. Ryan was sweet, he didn’t deserve the rude comments you were snapping back with, you were just too stubborn to admit he was right. You bit your lip, eyes meeting his. Then you got up and walked away, leaving Ryan at the table. Ryan had recently bought an apartment in West Chester and seemed to be spending more and more time there after that whole encounter. You weren’t sure if they were related or not but you didn’t want to think about that.

Jenn was away again and this night you and the crew went out, not something very unusual but Ryan skipped out. You didn't think much of it seeing as you didn’t see him too often anyways but a little part of you missed him, that wasn’t something you wanted to unpack today. Nevertheless you all ended up at Kildare’s, drinking beers and playing pool pretty horribly. It was you and Bam against Dico and Raab and the two of you were doing really badly but still having fun. You liked when you were just being normal together, talking and laughing and having a good time. That was until he got more touchy, hand resting on your lower back and guiding your body as you played. No matter how natural he made it seem you felt ashamed, embarrassed that the others were seeing you act like that right in front of their eyes. It didn’t seem all that bad when it was behind closed doors but it being opened up for them all to see? That's when you felt used, like this deal was no longer fun, that the shame was truly outweighing whatever attention you got.

After trying to avoid Bam the entire night his knuckles hit against your door once again after you all got home. You sighed, knowing that you'd have to shut him down for good now. Really for good.

“I can’t.” is all you said when you opened the door just a crack, trying to avoid his eyes. He didn’t listen, pushing your door open and letting himself in.

“Come on, don't be like that.” You shook your head, trying to swat away his hands that held your face.

“I can’t do this again Bam.’

“You say that every time.” Your stomach turned, you weren’t gonna let his blue eyes persuade you again.

“I mean it this time. I’m really done with this, it’s fucked up.” Bam rolled his eyes.

“Every time you say that and yet every time we do it. Can’t we just skip the whole moral thing tonight?” You glared at him, feeling utterly disgusted.

“You don't get it.”

Bam scoffed. “Get what?”

Your cheeks burned red. “They don’t look at you like they look at me.”

Bam looked confused. “What the hell are you talking about?”

You felt you eyes begin to well up, pushing Bam’s arms off of you. “The guys. it’s humiliating.” Bam looked at you like a mad woman.

‘”I don't want to be your other woman anymore. The girl you fuck when you’re bored.” Bam scoffed again.

“Are you serious? That was the whole fucking deal! Don’t act like you’re not getting anything out of this either.”

“Really Bam? Tell me what I’m getting out of this then!” Bam tried to hush you which just angered you even more.

“Keep my voice down?! It’s not like they don’t know anyways!” You yelled, Bam gritting his teeth together.

“What the hell is the matter with you, huh?! Why now? Why is this suddenly a problem now?!” You contemplated for a moment as the tears continued to fall.

“Ryan was right, you are an asshole.” You could’ve picked anything Ryan had said to you right then, but you just said the thing you knew would hurt him the most. And with that you grabbed your car keys and ran out of Castle Bam with Bam shouting down at you to wait but you didn’t listen, clambering into your car and speeding off. Your brain was hardly working then, too many thoughts circulating around to even consider what you were doing until you were outside Ryan's apartment, banging on the door in just a baggy t shirt and shorts.

When the door opened your body acted before your mind did, flinging yourself on the unsuspecting man and kissing him with such force. Once he realised what had happened his hands held your hips as he kissed you back, walking backwards to let you in. He shut the door behind you and pushed you into it, your kiss becoming more and more heated.

“Sorry for being an asshole.” You murmured against his lips, pulling away just to say it. “You were right.”

He laughed, his beard rubbing against your chin.

“Been waiting for you to say that.” You pulled away and grinned at him, removing your shirt in one swift move, leaving yourself in just a bra and skimpy shorts.

“Been waiting on a lot of things I bet.” Ryan grinned and bit his lip at your forwardness, nodding as his hands roamed down to grab at your ass, moving you both to his bedroom. You continued to kiss as you pulled Ryan’s shirt over his head as well, sitting on the edge of the bed and kicking your shorts off while Ryan shimmied off his own pants.

“So what changed?” Ry asked, moving you onto your back as he started to kiss down your neck, fingers already working at unclasping your bra.

“Don't know.” You giggled as the pecks moving down to your collarbone tickled your skin.

“Maybe I missed you more than I missed him.” Ryan smiled up at you at that, fingers sliding under the band of your panties at your hips. Your breath hitched as his lips made it to your tummy, kissing you softly.

“Is this okay?” He whispered against your skin and you nodded, granting him permission to pull your panties down. His own breath hitched as he saw you completely exposed for him, not because he could do whatever he wanted to you but because he could finally make you feel good. He started littering kisses on the inside of your thighs, wet hot ones. Your heart continued to beat steadily fast the closer his lips got to your heat, your back arching once he finally reached that place. He planted a kiss on your clit before moving down to your centre, hiking up your leg so it went down his back as he drove straight in. Your moans increased in volume the longer he went on and the faster he got, tongue moving in and out of you.

You shifted around the place, bucking up into his face and hand finding itself gripping his hair. That's when his hand moved up and began rubbing circles in your clit as he tongue-fucked you. He looked up at you and god were you a sight for sore eyes. Your cheeks were a splotchy red and your hair was splayed out, bare chest rising and falling as your features contorted with pleasure, sweet noises and whimpers leaving your parted lips. Ry felt himself grow hard as he observed the way you looked when he was giving you that pleasure, blissed out and needy. He continued at it, this time sucking at your clit as his fingers moved in and out of you, your moans only getting louder.

“Fuck Ry, I’m close.” You moaned out, fingers tightening their hold on Ry’s hair. He didn’t respond, only moving faster and faster until eventually you finished on his fingers, his tongue replacing those as he sloppily made out with your core. It took you pushing his head away to avoid overstimulation for him to pull away, lips glistening with your slick. He smiled as he licked his lips, wiping them with the back of his hand and crawling up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself from his tongue.

“Where the fuck did you learn that?!” You laughed against his mouth, hands resting on his cheeks.

“I’m a good listener.” He grinned stupidly back, lips moving back to kiss you as your hands drifted down to pull his dick out. It wasn’t long until he had his boxers kicked off and on the floor and his cock in your hand, pumping him slowly, your lips still touching. You arched your back and brought your arm up to rub circles into Ry’s jaw, encouraging him to enter you. You winced as he did, the pain just a little intense but his soothing hand on your waist made it bearable.

“You okay?” Ryan whispered and you nodded, holding his face and kissing him until he began to move. He was a lot slower and gentler than you thought he’d be, his scruffy beard and persona didn’t ring true all the time you supposed. Soon enough Ry’s pace quickened as he nipped at your neck, your fingers threading through his hair, moaning into his ear. You could feel his thumb press harder into the flesh of your waist as he lifted himself up from your neck, hips snapping forward. He pushed some hair off of your face as he continued to fuck you and the look he gave you could’ve made you come right then and there. His cheeks were flushed as well as yours and his hair was all messed up from your hands and his eyes were almost completely blown out, looking down at you like you were the only girl in the world. You lifted your head up to kiss him but it was more like lips touching as you whimpered and moaned into his mouth.

After a few more thrusts you felt yourself inch closer and closer to the edge, moans getting louder the closer you got.

“I’m close Ry.” You whispered, kissing him right after you said it. He didn't respond, only going faster, determined to make you finish and he certainly succeeded. Your legs began to shake as you came, the orgasm washing over your entire body as you threw your head back, mouth hanging open and eyes shut tightly. Ryan thrusted a couple more times before pulling out and finishing on your stomach, his cum painting your skin as you settled.

Before you could even move Ryan was already up fetching a towel to wipe you down, dragging it across your heat gently as well as your tummy. You sat up on your elbows as you observed Ry struggling to put his boxers back on. Once he finally succeeded, he turned to face you, smiling like a schoolgirl when he saw you all splayed out for him.

“Been a while since a pretty naked girl has been on my bed.” He giggled, clambering into bed beside you and pulling you to lie on his chest. You grinned too as he played with your hair.

“All this time I’ve been fucking the wrong guy.”

‘Well I could’ve told you that.”

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @lovexjoe @nonbinarypontius @steve-osahottie @izzaaaaaa @bambammargera @spoookyberry

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knoxvilleaura · 2 years

Text

Pregnancy Scare !

Johnny Knoxville x Reader

a/n: lack of potential daddy knoxville so I came to save the day. If y’all have or know any with Johnny please link them :)

prompt: You’ve been with Johnny for a long time now but what will go down between the two of you when you think you’re pregnant?

Fem!reader

You woke up in such a haze, trying to feel Johnny beside you with your eyes still closed you groaned feeling the empty sheets, remembering he had a crew meeting in writing stunts for Jackass 2 this morning. You sat up and immediately felt the vertigo that washed over your whole body, knowing this feeling all to well you sprint to the bathroom and hurled. Thinking nothing of it as this is what came with the Jackass life and your boyfriend hosting get togethers with the crew every now and then, You washed up and brushed your teeth and that’s when you realized

You hadn’t been out drinking with Johnny since last weekend.

This was definitely not a hangover.

Oh my god.

You slid on shorts just in case Johnny came home with any of the guys, learning from past experience from all of them barging in one morning and you were wearing nothing but undies and one of Johnny’s shirts. The same heat you felt in that memory returned to your face as you start pacing trying to figure out what to do when Johnny got home.

Would he be furious? Would he be mad at himself? Or even you??

Johnny always playfully egged the thought of having kids but both of you agreed that it couldn’t happen for about a few more years, especially not without a ring on my finger. With the way his career was taking off there’s no time for kids right now, you would feel so guilty if the tests end up positive, even though it took two to tango

“Baby I’m home early!” You hear the familiar southern drawl along with the sound of keys from the kitchen of your shared apartment

“Fuck” you mouthed

You walked out of your shared room to him and couldn’t help but beam a little bit staring at your stud of a boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his neck, pecking his lips while he gripped your waist seductively

“You just wake up princess?”

“Yeah” you hummed into his neck

“How was the meeting?”

“Oh it was so great” he rambled “we’re doing this musical kind of ending sequence thing and I am way too excited for that. You know me and my love for that shit”

You smiled watching him get so excited, already forgetting what you were dealing with internally

“Honey that’s so awesome I can’t fucking wait” you smiled up at him

He tossed his aviators on the island and He kissed your forehead and brought you back into his chest, standing there in silence with him in front of the door, holding eachother tight

“PJ baby I don’t feel too good” you said after a minute

He retracted his arms, softly feeling your face for warmth

“What you feelin baby doll?

You sighed walking away from him and burying your face in your hands going towards the couch

“Baby I’m late” you mumbled

“You are?”

“Yeah, by at least like four days I think”

“But sweetheart that could be normal right?” He said while taking his jacket off, his eyes slightly filling up with concern

“But I threw up this morning too pj” you said bursting into tears

“hey hey hey baby love don’t cry!” he quickly jogged to the couch and got right beside you, pulling you into his lap, your face hid into his neck

“Why didn’t you call me to pick you up a pregnancy test honey ?”

The panic within you settled at that, hearing the softness in his voice that never faltered with you

“Because I didn’t want to tell you over the phone like that, and our focus should be on the movie and your career and I didn’t want to take any attention away from your wor-“

“Woah woah woah honey!”

He softly grasped your jaw having you look at him

“You come before absolutely everything I do and love y/n”

“Pj” you said softly shaking your head down

Sensing your fear he lowers his large hand on to your stomach rubbing soft circles

“Baby doll look at me” he softy turned your chin

He began to stroke your cheek while you met his gaze

“Honey I swear to you, I will be so fucking happy and content no matter thee outcome, and knowing that I can support more than the both of us now compared to if this would’ve happened a few years ago puts me so much at ease sweetheart”

Your face finally broke into a hopeful smile and you threw your arms tightly around his neck again and he sighed in relief that he calmed your nerves a bit

“I love you so much Knoxville”

He held your head against his shoulder tightly, vowing to himself that he’ll always be here to take care of you

“I love you more babydoll”

#johnny knoxville #pj clapp #ryan dunn #steve o #bam margera #chris pontius #johnny knoxville x reader #Johnny Knoxville oneshot #jackass fanfic #Johnny Knoxville smut #Johnny Knoxville fluff #Johnny Knoxville angst #jeff tremaine #jackass #jackass forever #johnny knoxville imagine #Johnny Knoxville fanfic

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jackass-enthusiast · 2 years

Note

Johnny and Steve-o being in love with Reader who’s friends with them and sometimes on set <3

There’s such a lack of ff for them :,(

A/N: YESS! okayy, i'm actually really excited to start writing and thank you for the request... and yes, there needs to be more Jackass ff about both Johnny and Steveo. so for this, i did add in a little conflict between Johnny and Steveo and added in 2 confessions from the both of them. if you wanted, i could write 2 alternative endings where the reader either gets together with Johnny and one where the reader gets together with Steveo... sorry if this isn't what you had in mind! ANYWAYY, let's continue<3

SUMMARY: You've been friends with both Johnny and Steveo ever since you could remember. You guys were the best of friends... however, both boys are majorly in love with you while you were completely oblivious to their affections and heart-shaped eyes. What's going to happen when the tension between you three is high and both boys confess to you?

WARNING: English terminology, fluff, protective Johnny and Steveo, a smidge of angst with both Johnny and Steveo, big brother Pontius, cliffhanger?

TUESDAY 16TH JANUARY

Filming for Jackass 3D had only just started and you were supposed to be on set for both Johnny and Steveo but you told them you couldn't make it because you wanted to surprise them. A little backstory, you and Knoxville had known each other since you were in diapers due to the fact that both your mum and his mum were high school best friends but at the age of 8, your mum and dad got a divorce and your mother made the harsh decision to move to England and take you with her. Your father, however, stayed in Knoxville, Tennessee and he was the one to come up to visit you so you didn't see Johnny for years.

By your 17th birthday, you moved back to your home town to live with your dad while pursuing your career in becoming a journalist. You did try to get back in touch with Johnny but because you hadn't kept in touch, you thought it'd be awkward but you missed him like hell. While writing for Big Brother your editor Jeff Tremaine asked you to meet up for a coffee to talk about a potential idea which he wanted to include you in. When you first heard it, you thought that this was ridiculous and that no one would be interested to watch a bunch of Jackasses do stupid things and injure themselves. You were soon proven wrong though.

When you finally agreed to do this idea with Tremaine, he was ecstatic and told you that you'd love the guy who was also going to be behind the new series 'Jackass'. You were in complete shock though when you were met with an extremely handsome and different face yet you would recognize him in a crown filled with millions of people. Johnny Knoxville seemed to feel the same. He was stood frozen in his place as his eyes wandered all over you, unable to fathom how you became more beautiful as the years went on. Your hair seemed to shine perfectly in the light and your eyes looked like they held a million stories behind them. Your nails were slightly chipped and you seemed a little tired but nonetheless you were still breathtaking to him.

You guys spend days and days catching up on the many years that you missed out on and joked about how fate brought you back together. As much as Johnny laughed about his, he couldn't help but feel a light heartache at your joke. He wished more than anything that you'd be his. It was soon after catching up that you were both introduced to Steveo. You'd never forget that day. You and Knoxville met him for less than 2 hours ago and you were already chugging beers and laughing together like old mates. All while filming episodes for Jackass, Johnny only fell harder and harder for you... however, Steveo had the same problem.

He couldn't help it. Your pure selflessness and need to help others stood out to him, not to mention that you were extremely pretty and in his eyes, perfect. These thought only grew as the time went on and he would always be excited when he heard from Tremaine that you would be on set. Pontius also acted like a over-hyper dog when he got the news since he enjoyed spending time with you but he'd never like you like that. You were more of a little sister to him than anything. Steveo's actions did caught Johnny's attention and he felt quite jealous.

Anyways, today you'd be visiting the boys on set and you told Jeff not to say anything to anyone since you wanted it to be a surprise. You had just unpacked your suitcase and put away your clothes while you settled down into your hotel room, smiling to yourself as you thought about Knoxville and Steveo. You grabbed your toothbrush and began brushing your teeth before texting Tremaine that you were on your way to set. You were staying in the same hotel as the Jackass crew so it was easier for you to see everyone without limiting your time due to your hotel being too far away.

You left your hotel room after making sure you had everything you needed. Making your way to the set, you put your earphones in to listen to music but noticed the text message from Jeff which read "I think Knoxville is getting a little suspicious so you better hurry the fuck up!!". You texted a quick "be there soon" before putting your phone in your back pocket

After about 25 minutes of walking, you were finally stood outside the building where the Jackass intro was being filmed and you could already hear the chaos taking place inside those 4 walls. Taking a deep breath, you pulled the handle down and walked through the dimly lit room before making it to the official set where you could see the props and cast getting ready. You tiptoed round the back and hid behind a black panel/board, where you had a clear view of the back of Johnnys head. You bit your lip to stop yourself from making any noise and made your way behind him. Johnny could sense a presence behind him and turned around as quick as he could, guessing it was Bam or Steveo coming to shave the back of his head or something. However, he was met with a heavy weight on his back and an all too familiar laugh which never failed to make his heart melt.

"IS THAT MY FAVOURITE GIRL?" Knoxville exclaimed as he went to out his arms behind his back to secure you on. He was met with more laughter coming from you and that only made him smile more, if that was even possible. After a couple of minutes of this embrace, Johnny put you down and turned to look at you with his eyes filled with admiration. Steveo had heard this commotion from a distance but he wasn't paying any mind because he was too engrossed in his conversation with Dunn and Bam. Yet when he heard your heavenly laugh, he immediately turned to look in the direction it came from and was met with the infuriating sight of you on Knoxville's back giggling away.

This caused Steveo to march his way to you and Johnny just as you were let down. As soon as you saw Steveo, you ran straight up to him and gave him a bone crushing hug while laughing. Steveo happily accepted this hug and caught the dirty look that Knoxville was giving him. He didn't care though because right now in this moment, you were in his arms and that's all that mattered.

"Well hello sugar, long time no see!" he gleamed as you continued to latch onto him.

"Hiya Steveo, it's been a while. How have you guys been holding up without me?" You remarked, a smirk making its way onto your face. Before Steveo could even open his mouth, Johnny had jumped in

"Terrible doll face, I missed you terribly! Maybe you should come live on set with us. You could always stay in my room if you needed company" he smirked. You didn't give an answer, instead you just chuckled and shook your head while making your way to Pontius. You were completely oblivious to Knoxville's flirty comment but Steveo... not so much. The mere thought of someone else flirting with you made him pissed beyond belief.

Throughout the next couple of days, both the Jackass boys tried to get your attention in any way shape or form, whether that be from doing gnarly stunts...

Knoxville had just got himself changed for his upcoming stunt and was making his way to the field where Preston, Wee-man, Loomis and two professional football players were waiting. Just before any stunt he does, a nervous feeling came bubbling to the surface but Knoxville pushed that aside for two reasons. Number one, he could not give a shit about what he does as long as he's not going to die and number two, you were behind the cameras with the rest of the cast and crew watching him and although he won't admit it, he was going to try his best to impress you. That was his goal. Especially since Steveo was already whispering to you and cracking jokes around you while he was busy.

As soon as Johnny introduced himself and the rest of the cast in the skit, he was now set in motion and ready to get your attention. Your eyes were glued to him the whole time during the skit, hoping that he was going to be okay and not too hurt once he was finished. The first time he was knocked over, sure, it hurt but Knoxville wanted to IMPRESS you. He knows you've seen him get knocked on his ass but he wanted to have it so you'd be all over him. To do so, he had to aggravate Jared Allen who was the footballer that was targeting him. He made a sly comment to him, telling him "not to hit him with his purse this time" which was a perfect way to get a one-way ticket to a bruised arse.

This time, Knoxville was proper knocked down and it showed. As soon as the bit was over, you made your way over to Knoxville to make sure he was okay. This is exactly what he wanted, for you to give him your undivided attention 24/7 but that was always difficult to do so with Steveo coming up out of nowhere. While you were constantly asking him if he was okay and checking for any bruises or markings, Johnny couldn't help but gaze over your features while you worries about him. You were completely focused on him and this made his heart race.

"Jesus Knoxville, your heart feels like it's about to take off" you chuckled. Johnny suddenly looked down to his chest to find that your hands were resting just by his heart which made his cheeks flush slightly. Not too far away stood Steveo with a pissed off look on his face that only grew more and more the more he watched these events unfold in front of him. Sighing to himself, he began to make his way over to Bam and Dunn while scolding himself for not having the balls to tell you he likes you.

constantly calling your name until you became irritated and payed them attention...

You sat calmly under the shade of a tree and drinking, chatting and laughing with Chris while the rest of the crew were either annoying each other or doing a skit for the movie. You were finally getting the rest you deserved after the constant attention you were receiving from Steveo and Johnny. It was a little confusing but Chris told you it was just their way of trying to press your buttons.

Just as you were having a chill time, you could hear Steveo's voice coming from over the hill calling your name. You decided to ignore him, figuring that if you didn't react then he would leave you be. Clearly not because Steveo was now running towards you and Pontius, still calling your name.

You finally had enough of this stupid behaviour and cracked. "WHAT? WHAT STEVEO?" you screeched, startling Chris and Steveo. After a second of shock, he just smiled innocently and waved at you before running off again

...and during dinner today, the two knobheads continued to annoy you by throwing flirty comments, lightly kicking your legs under the table, throwing small pieces of their food at you and the beat goes on. So for the rest of the evening you decided to go skating with Bam, Ryan and Chris since they were bored as shit. Just as you were about to leave, someone grabbed your arm and pulled you into a room and shut the door behind them.

The room was pitch black and you felt your heart drop when you didn't know what has happening. Suddenly the light switch came on and you were met with a slightly worried Johnny. His eyes were slightly creasing, worry lines were visible on his head and his mouth was in a straight line.

"Hey Johnny... what's going on? Is everything okay?" you asked. You couldn't recall the last time you saw him look this serious. He took a deep breath and before he could say anything, the door burst open and you were both met with the face of Steveo who seemed like he was raging.

"You just couldn't leave it alone, could you? You know how much I like her." Steveo argued, raising his voice slightly while Knoxville looked like a deer in headlights. It all happened so fast but Johnny was then tackled to the ground by Steveo and they began fighting each other while you were stuck. You didn't know what to do but after the initial shock washed over, you jumped to the two men and pulled them away from each other.

"What the fuck do you think you two are doing?!" you yelled

"He fucking started it!" Johnny shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Steveo who was breathing heavily. All he could do was roll his eyes and pace around the room.

"Right, can either of you tell me what's going on here because I am extremely confused about both of your behaviour and now this has just done it. Like seriously wh-"

"I LOVE YOU" They both yelled at the same time. Dead silence. The tension in the room could've been cut with a knife. You had no idea what to do and before you could comprehend what happened, your legs gave out from below you from the overwhelming situation. Both men came to your service and grabbed an arm each, helping you up off the floor. Tears were now streaming down your face and Pontius had just found you and he looked pissed.

"What's happened here?" he asked both concerned and annoyed. Knoxville and Steveo just sighed and waited for the other one to say something. Chris now had his arms around you and pulled your head to his chest, covering your ears to try to not overwhelm you even more.

You couldn't pay attention to what was being said as the words now echoed in your head. 'I love you'. Three words which have a powerful meaning. How long have they felt like this? The real question was what were you going to do?

After what felt like eternity, you were being taken out of the room by your best mate and taken to the exit of the hotel where Dunn and Bam were waiting with their skateboards. As soon as they took in your appearance, they were quick to rush to you and stop their current conversation.

"WOAH! Are you okay?" Bam asked you, concern laced on his face

"Yea, you don't look too good. You sure you don't want to stay in your room? We can skate tomorrow?" Dunn told you sympathetically.

You decided it'd be best to go skating to take your mind off of the whole Johnny-Steveo-situation. While learning new tricks, you felt your worries wash over you and could finally relax. By the time you all came back, you were practically passing out and needed to get to your room.

Bidding the guys goodnight, you stumbled into your room and kicked your shoes off, changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth. Just as you were about to go to sleep, there was a sudden knock at your door. You regretted opening the door as soon as you were met with the face of an upsetting looking Johnny.

"Hey... so firstly I need to apologise to you. I am really sorry for what I did earlier and I wish I could take it back b-"

"Did you mean it?" you whispered. You needed to know if he meant what he said before saying anything else. Knoxville took a deep breath and gave you a sad smile.

"Of course I did... it'll always be you doll. Always" Johnny whispered back. Now you were both staring into each others eyes, not knowing what to say. After a few minutes of pure silence, Johnny broke it.

"Steveo meant it too... that's why we've had more frequent 'arguments' and haven't been talking to each other that much. You don't need to say anything at all or make a decision, just know that I'll support you no matter the choice you make" Johnny said before giving you a kiss on the forehead and leaving, shutting your door behind him.

You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding and flopped down onto your bed. What the fuck do you do now? Steveo or Knoxville?

#johnny knoxville #steve o #jackass #jeff tremaine #chris pontius #bam margera #ryan dunn #ehren mcghehey #dave england #wee man #preston lacy #fluff #angst #confession #love triangle #johnny knoxville x reader #steveo x reader

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cael9m · 2 years

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CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW.

— johnny k.

BACKSTORY/TEASER CHAPTER

(rewritten)

✩ ˖˚˳⊹

You can still recall the day you two met so perfectly. When you were both 6, his mother invited yours over to dinner. When you arrived you were hiding behind your mother, being a shy child and much less open to meeting a new person.

“he doesn’t bite you know (name)?”

Your mother urged as she slightly nudged you away from hiding behind her. You could see the other kid in front of you. He was also glued to his mothers side. He looked up, as for permission to go say hi from his mom.

“Hi, i’m um Pj.”

“I’m (name).”

…

When the adults left the living room to do whatever in the kitchen, that left you alone, sitting on the ground in front of the couch. You took out this tiny little car toy you slipped in your pocket before leaving, when footsteps could be heard coming down from the stairs. It was Pj? That was his name right? He gently sat down next to you.

“you know, i have the green version of that car.”

“really?”

“yeah, wanna come see?”

He took your hand and led you up the stairs to his room, where he ran over to the little toy chest he had, and pulled out the green car. He also showed you some of his other toys, and you realized you weren’t all that nervous anymore.

When the night came to an end, you grabbed your sweater and were about to head out the door with your mom, when..

“(name)!”

You turned to see pj running down the stairs with something in his hand. “Here!” he held out his hand with a proud smile. It was his green car toy. “You can keep it!” In return, you pulled out the car toy you originally had and gave it to Pj. “Then you can have this one, okay?” you said, returning the smile. “Okay!”

And with that you left to go home.

…

You guys had been friends for 11 years. The news your mom had delivered to you was soul and heart crushing. You had to go. There was a better chance for you guys in London where they were shooting this movie, and they wanted you. They wouldn’t take no for an answer, it was inevitable. You had to move.

This was one of the only times ever that you had arrived at pj’s house with the feeling of your stomach sinking and your heart in your throat. And it got even worse when you saw his face. When you had to tell him that you were moving to another country. When you had to hug him for the last time. When you had to leave.

You got to the airport too soon. When all of you got out the car, you turned to look at Pj. “Hey, I’ll always have a part of you with me, okay?” you say, through a sniffle. Pulling your hand out of your pocket, you show a tiny, old, green toy car.

“You still have that?” he asked through quiet chuckles.

“Yeah”

“Well.. me too.” he bashfully admitted. He also pulled out a red toy car.

As a parting gift, before your final goodbye, he gave you a small bag. You felt something moving in the bag, and out popped the cutest dog there was. “Yeah, so maybe you could have a great last memory of us.” You pass the dog to your mother as you gave him a hug, wishing it would stay like that forever. You two hung onto each-other for dear life. But your flight was leaving soon. You never stopped hugging the dog on the way to your new home, or when you slept there for the first night, or whenever you missed your best friend.

…

It’d been about 9 months since you moved, and you couldn’t be more excited to go back and see everyone again. You brought along the dog that pj had gifted to you, which you had named Paul Anka. Funny. When you landed and finally gotten to Pj’s house, you gave his parents the greatest hugs you could give.

“You’ve already grown so big.!”

“It’s only been 9 months!” you chuckle. “So, Where’s Pj?” you say, the smile on your face growing slightly more excited. His mothers face grew fake as she walked towards the kitchen to prepare for what she was about to cook. “Um.. Well.. He wrote to you, didn’t he?” she asked with a slightly forced smile while grabbing a kitchen towel to wipe her hands. “No? What’s wrong?” Your question came laced with nervous smiles and chuckles. His mother came to a stop.

“(name), baby, uh. Pj already left to LA. Now i don’t know why he didn’t want me to tell you but i could’ve sworn he wrote about it in his letters..”

Her words got drowned out as you tried to figure out why he didn’t want you to find out. Did you say something? No, you two haven’t talked…

What happened?

Why would he just leave you?

He didn’t. even. write.

…

12 years. 12 years.. 12 years since all this shit happened. And you still couldn’t quite let go. You were finally returning home and with the thoughts and memories of a faded friend storming your head, you held onto Paul Anka slightly tighter. You fiddled with the little green toy car in your pocket, still having it after all these years. The slight thought of even trying to get back in touch with Pj crossed your mind, but it definitely wasn’t going to work any way that you could attempt.

You still called with his parents, them being a huge part of your life and all. Sometimes, rarely ever, you could hear Pj’s voice in the background. Even if he was technically older than you by a month, you couldn’t help but be emotionally proud of how his voice had grown. The number of times you tried to think how he looked now..

Now back home you try to make light of it as you look out the car window on the ride from the airport. It’s a good shot, might as well.

liked by jcu.x and 71839 others

(n6me) back in LA…. what to do.??

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rydunn wait… aren’t you johnny’s friend??

#jackass #ryan dunn #bam margera #chris pontius #johnny knoxville #steve o #<3 #fanfic #fame dr #johnny knoxville x reader #angst #jackass x reader #shifting

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philipjohnclapp · 7 months

Text

Rigged Game of Ping Pong

Goretober Day: 3

Prompt: Bullet Wounds

Word Count: 602

A/N: This is Bam Margera from Jackass forever and it is a Drabble, I know I dont quite follow the rules, but I come up with ideas as I go, so, suck it.

He wanted to one up Knoxville, he always did. After all he started this whole Jackass thing, he should be the main guy. He fucking deserved it, all of it. And now that he wasn’t even a part of the whole “clique” he had to do something to get the gaze back on him. To get his TMZ articles, to get his name. And that was one upping Johnny, doing something far more gnarly, beating him and his stupid gun trick.

Bam got his dumb gun license for this stunt, picking up an awfully powerful gun. One that trumps Johnny's puny girl gun by a long shot. Only the best. He wasn’t a puss. He’d do a closer range, he’s got the balls that Johnny lacks. Fucking pussy.

Dunn was gone so he couldn’t film his dumb shenanigans, he had no team to film him, and no family either. So, he was on his own. Bam had his phone connected to a tripod. Right in the back of Castle Bam. He was standing on some pathway. Unlike Johnny he didn’t have one of those “safety vests”, well, you know. One of those bullet proof vests. He was lacking one. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the funds, it was just to look better. How much better could suicide look?

Bam was swinging the gun around in his right hand as he looked at his phone camera, nothing but a slight smirk on his face. He didn’t have zero protection, he had one of those life jackets that you’d wear on a boat. Which was nothing, but he thought it would add a nice touch; and it did.

“Hello, I’m Bam Margera, and this is the REAL safety test. Fuck you Knoxville.”

Bam boasted, giving the camera a fierce glare. He had all the confidence in the world, what could go wrong? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is funny to say that he was as sober as he could be too.

After his introduction he adjusted his feet, and he stopped swinging around his gun. After all, it was really dangerous. As a joke he pointed the gun at a camera and made a pew noise, before he pointed it at himself. Aiming a bit higher on his chest as best as he could. The gun already cocked and loaded as he squeezed the trigger.

His ears ring like church bells and it felt like he was kicked right in the chest. The gun flying out of his hands, landing more than ten feet away. Bam stumbled backwards, and then he tripped. Falling straight onto his ass.

And the dumb vest did as much as you would expect, nothing at all. The bullet went through it like ease, like a knife and some cheese. It was too easy. And it didn’t stop there, in fact it plunged straight into his chest.

Shattering where the clavicles met the Manubrium, and shattering the manubrium into thousands of micro pieces at impact. Blood spewing right out like a hose, his skin peeling, and chunks of muscle torn from the close shot. It was excruciating, and inoperable. Nobody could fix that, the shards of bone were ricocheting anywhere internally it could, like micro knives stabbing everything. Like a rigged game of ping pong. Scoring every. damn. time.

Bam Margera yelled out in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as if that would help him. The camera continued to roll, capturing all of that. His hands shooting up as he clawed at his chest. Begging for help even though nobody was there. And certainly nobody would be coming for him.

#jackass #ao3 writer #jackass fanfiction #johnny knoxville #angst prompt #drabble #jackass headcanons #please request #viva la bam #jackass forever #fanfiction #bam margera #bam margera fanfiction #cky #cky imagine #ryan dunn #angst #goretober

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thepeachyouhadtopick · 11 months

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ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY | Chapter Six

A busy day shooting footage for Jackass leads to a couple of injuries, as well as a couple of confessions.

Thanks for all the kind feedback so far! I have lots of plans for this fic so I'm glad you're all enjoying it. A couple of cute angsty Johnny moments here.

CW for mention of self harm, alcohol, binge drinking, injury

Taglist: @lizey-thornberry @babybammargera

“Alright, let’s see…Ell, when we get to the motel, you’ll be rooming with Stephanie again,” Jeff said as the entire Jackass team stood beside a couple of minivans. “Dunn and Bam, you’re together.” “Hey Steph, do me a solid and switch with me this time, huh?” Ryan interjected, winking at Ell. “Shut uuuuup,” Ell groaned, rolling her eyes for the millionth time in two days. She couldn’t help but smirk each time, though. Ell had got to know Ryan - and Bam - pretty well since she officially joined the Jackass gang. They’d filmed a few skits together - skating through pitch black tunnels, and pushing each other around in shopping trolleys - and now the three of them were thick as thieves. That hadn’t stopped Ryan and Bam from flirting with her incessantly, though, and part of Ell was finding it hard to resist the pair of them. Ryan had been particularly sweet to her, and Bam had a cheeky overconfidence that Ell couldn’t deny finding attractive. She also found it hilarious how the pair of them were constantly trying to impress her with stunts, making sure she was watching every time. The only thing stopping her, however, was her ever-growing feelings for Johnny. Johnny had been disappointed to not get the chance to ride in the same van as Ell during their travels so far. No matter when he got there, he always managed to miss out on a seat and had to travel in the other bus wedged in next to Jeff, who was forever sticking his camera in his face, while Ell fell asleep on the shoulders of whomever she was sat next to - Steve-O, Pontius, Preston and Spike so far. (They were all equally gentle with her, but when she fell asleep on Chris he spent the rest of the journey blushing hard). Johnny had missed out on lots of time to talk to Ell, but that just made the moments they did interact all the more precious, catching up on set, or at dinner, or at a local bar. The pair of them had clicked so well, discussing old movies and comedy, and while both of their hearts were urging them to confess their feelings for each other, neither of them wanted to speak too soon and risk making an idiot out of themselves. It was rare that they got to talk without anyone else around, though, making it even more difficult to judge how the other really felt. He was so impressed with Ell’s efforts for the show so far too; she’d even pitched a couple of her own ideas, one of which they’d be filming in a couple of days. On set, he always made the effort to hype her up, and even gave the time to ensure that she was ok if she’d fallen or injured herself during filming.

#johnny knoxville #jackass #mtv jackass #johnny knoxville x ofc #johnny knoxville fluff #johnny knoxville angst #jackass fic #steve-o #ryan dunn #bam margera #stephanie hodge #johnny knoxville / original female character #chris pontius #jeff tremaine #spike jonze #ao3 writer

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margeraforever · 2 years

Text

Dico (Brandon DiCamillo) headcannons

request: dico x male reader hcs would be awesome he needs more content

——————————————————————————

sooo this was a request by @mallofbam so like tysm!!! i’m still so sorry I couldn’t do male reader…… anyways let’s get on with the hcs right 🤭🤭

tw: none, just lovey dovey fluff 😏, pet names ( pretty baby, honey) , gn reader (no pronouns or implications of gender.) , no capitalization (overrated 😒)

not proof read.

——————————————————————————

- you and brandon met at the arcade.

- you had been working there since the start of the summer just to get some extra cash before college had started back up again.

- it was really common seeing him there, this time you thought he came for the new mortal combat game that just came out.

- y’all had started talking and all and now you were there, standing before the prize counter with him asking you if you’d wanna go out for a date after your shift.

- you. were. shocked.

- I mean yea, you did have a small….no actually you had the most massive crush on him. I guess he finally caught on.

- so of course, you agree.

- he tells you after his shift, he’ll pick you up and take you to a nice bar/cafe .

- he picks you up, and you had a blast.

- he talked about bam’s cky videos and how he participated in it. he also told you about haggard and jackass.

- you of course, already knew but you didn’t wanna seem creepy.

- couple of weeks later, you asked him to date

-thankfully, he said yes.

——————————————————————————

months later

- you and dico are 2 peas in 1 pod.

- to the hip a little bit literally.

- y’all played console videos game together until the sun rises.

- now you fix his almost non-existent hair and would brush it so it doesn’t start standing up on his own head.

- you’d now be in viva la bam and would help out with pranks and such.

- you would be the assistant of dico when he was trying to teach don vito spanish. you’d be writing on the board, casually misspelling half of the words.

- you still work at the arcade, just in case.

- he would come around to play the games for free and would play all the claw machines for free and whenever he won something he gave it to you, knowing that you had the key to it was able to just open it and grab it yourself.

- still, it earned you a sweet little duck plushie and a kiss to the forehead.

- when y’all were alone, he was the sweetest person to come across the earth.

- physical affection being hugs around the waists, picking you up bridal style or just a simple piggy back, kisses to your forehead and cheeks and lips and simply all around your face.

- if any of the boys tried to prank you on viva la bam, he made sure they would get the most embarrassing role/performance in any of the skits. it would be extremely gay or extremely gross. he just wanted to pay the price.

- cute little phrases like:

“lord have mercy, look who we have here.”

“let me just get one more kiss, pretty baby, please just one more..”

“wow, how did i score this one….”

“hey honey, do you know if you could get me the new street fighters? I’ll give you like hundred thousand kisses and i’ll buy ur favorite sodas?”

“why cant you buy it yourself?”

“i’m trying to save up for more costumes for more bits on viva la bam….”

“lord help us…”

overall y’all are just are best friends who are romantically attracted to each other.

——————————————————————————

i tried my best! 😰😰 i hope this was original enough tysm for the request tho!!!.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #jackass smut #johnny knoxville imagine #bam margera x reader #jackass 3d #jackass angst #jackass fluff #jackass forever #brandon dicamillo #cky #cky crew #cky2k #raab himself #rake yohn #ryan dunn

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coopermorrow · 1 year

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Jackass Masterlist

This is my official masterlist for the Jackass Cast. I write for all people listed as well as others if it is requested. For additional information, please refer to the post linked below.

This masterlist along with my others will be updated everytime a new story/fic is written or in the works of being written.

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE:

-none yet

STEVE-O:

-Steve-O's Crazy Partner

RYAN DUNN:

-Late Night Dance Party - Ryan Dunn x Male!Reader

BAM MARGERA:

-none yet

CHRIS PONTIUS:

-none yet

RACHEL WOLFSON:

-none yet

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welcometojackass2022 · 1 year

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the urge to write some Dico or Ryan x male reader fics just to add some variety to my masterlist…the ideas I have

#smut perhaps #or just fluff #or even some fun angst #like I wouldn’t be the absolute best at it cuz I’m a girl #for Dico especially I think #but I could certainly try #ryan dunn #brandon dicamillo #jackass #viva la bam #cky #cky crew

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 8 months

Note

First!!! Ofc you don’t have to write this if it makes you uncomfortable!

Johnny Knoxville x gn!reader where reader is actually in a relationship with bam for a while and they sorta stay on set while they film something for jackass. The relationship is good at first but the rest of the crew starts to see it go down hill (doesn’t have to turn abusive or anything intense unless you want to I don’t mind either way). Reader is good friends with everyone but it’s kind of obvious that R and Johnny are pretty close. Johnny sees how reader is struggling and comes to comfort them when something shitty happens with Bam, and they end up getting together. (Maybe it’s when Bam gets fired or for the early era/story sake just leaves set)

Heat

An end to a friendship and the beginning of a new romance. As Y/N’s love for Bam smolders, the fire in their heart burns hot for Johnny.

Johnny Knoxville X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

2.8k Words

Warnings: Very suggestive content, very crude language, flirting, jealousy, wound care, fights, drinking, kissing

An: Thank you so much for this request!!! Honestly I think this is maybe one of the best things I’ve ever written! XD Troubled relationships are a very interesting topic to delve into and I had a total blast with this one! I am on a writing kick so keep the requests coming! :D

Bam pulled you closer on his lap as you sat under the shade of a tree in between filming stunts. His skin was sticky with sweat, but so was yours, so you didn’t mind, adhering together in the thick Louisiana humidity. The guys all sat around, shooting the shit. Sweat ran down Steve’s head and into his eyebrows as he patted Johnny on the back like how you pet a big dog, “Dude! You took that like a champ!” Rubbing the back of his neck, the sun reflected off of Johnny’s glasses as he leaned his head to the side, his pretty bone structure highlighted by the sun’s golden glow, “Yeah- i'm still kind rattled from that one if I’m bein’ honest…” You chuckled as your boyfriend put the edge of the bottle to his lips, taking a swig of his beer.

Swallowing, he reached a hand around to the back of your head, grabbing your hair and roughly pulling you into a kiss. His lips were soft, but his tongue tasted like stale beer and cigarettes as he shoved it into your mouth, your teeth almost touching. Bam bit your lip just a little harder than comfortable, licking at the raw skin he exposed as he held you there. It was rough but lazy and painfully slow, making your brain buzz in the humidity. Pulling away, he grinned, pressing his forehead against yours.

He kissed you like this all the time, and you loved it. But this time, you found your eyes were still on Knoxville, and even though you couldn’t see his, you knew he was looking back at you. Johnny was your friend- when you were on set, all the guys were- but there was something about the way he looked at you that made you want to stare back at him for a little longer.

Of course, it would take Bam a while, given how self absorbed he was, but he would start to notice the little things. Like how Johnny would always show up on set with his little Starbucks coffee, and how he’d always buy you a cup too, or how you started to stand just a little too close to Johnny every now and then. The jovial laughs, the silly banter- the pining.

You lobstered in the sun, while pretty much everyone else tanned like Greek gods who were too good for SPF. Jeff, who had a similar dermatological predicament as you, came up to you on set one day, about an hour in the sun away from looking like he should be fed to a python. “Y/N- Think you could grab some sunscreen from the trailer fr’me?” Squinting in the sun, you nodded. It wasn’t even a week into filming and you had already started peeling, so it wasn't an awful idea. Leaning over your shoulder, Johnny grinned, his broad torso pressed against your back. His low voice had a smirking, suggestive tone to it, “Yeah. Why don’t I come with you?”

“I think Y/N’s fine.” Bam sighed, stepping in front of you out of nowhere. You said nothing while Johnny made it out to be a big joke like he always did, “Aww, c’mon Bam. I mean, I could even get you some for you…” The teasing tone in his voice made Bam even redder, but he tried to play it cool in front of you, “No way. You’d probably jizz in it anyway.” Bam put an arm around your shoulders, tugging you closer with enough force to make you stumble a little. Johnny's eyebrow twitched before he cracked a grin, “You know, that’s not too bad an idea. I think I'll keep that in mind!”

As you two walked away, Johnny went back to sit with the other guys in the grass. He grabbed a beer from Chris, staring out at the tree line. You and Bam had been together for almost half a year, and from what anyone could see, everything had been just fine so far- just peachy. Sure, he got a little too into the PDA stuff sometimes, which the guys would always childishly gag and roll their eyes at, but that was it. As of the past few weeks however, it really seemed to be going downhill- anyone with eyes could see that. Answering nobody but hearing everything, Steve piped up to Johnny, “I dunno, man.” He took a drawl, “S’got some kinda stick up his ass about you- Bam ‘gettin all territorial.”

“Yeah, no shit. But, I mean- it’s not like we’re fucking in the porta potties. Y/N and I are friends!” Johnny knew how you felt about him, and he especially knew how he felt about you since this whole ordeal started, but it really didn’t sound good to say it out loud like that . “Oh Cmon, they’re totally into you!” Chris, always positive, mentioned, “I mean, who wouldn’t be? I’d fuck you in the porta potty!” Chucking, Johnny sheepishly nodded, “Well, thank you, Pontius- that’s real sweet.” Ashing his cig into a dented, empty beer can, Steve sighed, “You know, if it was me, and Y/N told me they were sick of Bam’s gherkin pickle dick…I mean, I’d hit that.”

Whenever you were on set, you were usually designated as the in house nurse because you were the only one trusted to not try to get drunk from rubbing alcohol. It wasn’t like you really minded it either, but it could get a little awkward whenever any pants needed to be dropped. This was one of those situations.

Grimacing, you stared at Bam’s ass, unsure about how to approach it. The raised lines of dick shaped burn stood out from the angry pink skin of his butt, heat still radiating off of it onto the back of your hand. He groaned, bent over a folding table as you examined him, almost scared to touch it. “I- I don’t even know what to do with this…”

“Just disinfect the thi- agh! Bitch!” He groaned as you poured alcohol on the wound. His head hit the table as you wound up a pad of gauze, pressing it against his burn. Bam’s belt buckle clinked as he stood up, pulling up his black boxers and turning to face you, his pants still undone. There was an air of tension as he leaned back against the table.

“I’ve seen you eyeing Knoxville.” Annunciating every word nice and slow, he stared up at you with a look you only see in Kubrick films. “…What?” You were thrown off, especially after what you had just done for him. I mean, who confronts you after you just bandaged their ass? He grinned mockingly, “Don’t think I don’t see you. I’m not blind, Y/N.” He leaned toward you, his lips almost touching yours as he made eye contact that could kill, “Knock it off.”

Of course, Johnny would hear about this. You’d stopped talking to Bam about how you felt a while ago. Johnny seemed to listen to you better than Bam ever did, and that kinda made you feel sick. Sure, you weren’t screwing, but what you were doing was arguably worse. Of course, it wasn't like he was your therapist- he’d recommend you Johnny Cash songs and you’d tell him ideas you had for cool stunts, but whatever it was you had, it was definitely genuine.

So Johnny came up to him on set like he would any other time he had something to ask him, “Hey, Bam. You gotta sec?” He said nothing. Johnny continued, “I heard about that thing with Y/N earlier.” This got his attention. Bam turned around to him swiftly, “What?” In comparison to him, Johnny seemed totally collected, taking a step back as Bam jutted a finger in his direction, “Did they say anything to you?”

“I just mean-“ He wasn’t having any of this, “You know what? You need to stay the fuck away from them.” He squared off, like a wolf defending his territory, “If you care so damn much, why don’t you just date’em already? Clearly you don’t give a shit they’re mine.” And just like that, he stormed off. Of course, Bam was usually pissy, but he wasn’t usually this pissy- but who could blame him?

The bar top was sticky as you leaned your forearms against it, sighing. Your boyfriend invited you to come out with him, and since the moment you stepped through the door, he hadn’t said a word to you. He’d spent the whole night laughing and chatting with his buddies like you weren’t even there. A fire burnt in your stomach, nauseating you as you chased it with your beer. You seethed quietly, staring daggers into the back of his head.

“Bam.” Trying your best to sound polite, you vied for his attention. He paid you no mind, so you spoke up a little louder to be heard over the commotion of the bar, “Bam!” Oh, now he was ignoring you. The rage inside you bubbled, the kind that made your head buzz. Getting even louder, you nearly yelled, “Bam!!”

“What?!” He whipped his head around like he had any right to be mad. “Are you serious? You are such an asshole!” As you stood up from your stool, Bam shot you a look like you were crazy, “Me, an asshole? What the fuck!” The yellowing lights of the bar made his eyes even greener as he glared at you, standing over him. “You know what? I- I can't believe you! Three hours- three fucking hours and I don’t hear a word from you!” At this point, all of his buddies had gone silent, as did a good chunk of the bar. Bam pinched the space between his eyebrows, sighing, “God- do you ever stop complaining?” Fuming, you threw your hands up exhausted, shaking your head. Standing up, Bam got about an inch from your face with a snarl.

He was so close you could feel his breath hot on your face as he spat his words, “If I wanted you’t mouth off at me, I would’ve just jiggled my zipper.” Staring into his irate gaze, you couldn’t see what you ever saw in him. He was a manchild.

And that’s what led you to lean against the rough brick in the alley next to the bar, your face burning in the cold night air. Sticking a cigarette between your teeth, the flame of your lighter shivered violently, making any attempts to light it futile. You felt the heat from inside caress your skin as the door opened, a tall figure standing next to you. He spoke in a familiar, sweet accent as he held out his hand to you, “Lemme get that.”

Cupping his hand around the flame, Johnny leaned down close to you as he flicked it, amber light cascading onto his wide palms. Your eyes flitted up to him as you took a drag, pulling away. “Didn’t think I’d see you out here, Knoxville.” He chuckled, leaning back against the wall next to you, “What? Is it cause I’m asthmatic?” You took a drawl. “Yeah. Sure.”

He sighed, looking away from you as he pulled out a napkin from his pocket and passed it to you. It was crumpled, but as you unfolded it, you noticed that the blue ink scrawled on it was still wet and half smeary. “What is this- your number?” You squinted, trying to read it under the dim light of a half burnt out street lamp.

Glancing up at him, you saw Johnny with a genuine expression of concern, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He noticed your wide eyes and covered up his worry with a wry, infectious grin. “I- I mean, he’s an asshole but that’s excessive- even for him.” Smiling at him, you shoved it in your pocket. “Thanks.”

Johnny was so charismatic that his personality walked in the room half a second before he did, or in this case, up to the craft services table. He stuffed the last half of a granola bar in his face, finishing his story about his trip to the bar a few nights ago, “So, after I changed my pants, I go back to the bar, and Jeff does it again- pisses down the other leg! At that point, I just kinda gave up.” You raised an eyebrow, eyeing his dickies, “So that’s why you smell like that?” Snickering, he rationalized, “I mean- if I change ‘em again, I figure he’s just gonna do it on set!”

Fanning yourself with your hand, you felt a bead of sweat roll between your shoulder blades as you laughed, the heat of filming in Louisiana all too familiar. Johnny tossed his jacket over his shoulder, wiping his brow with the back of his hand, “If it ain’t 90 in the shade..” Your eyes wandered over to him. The sun shone off of his tan, glistening skin like a tall boy can with condensation, his muscles flexing. You never noticed before, but the shirt he was wearing really showed off how defined his arms were. God, you really had to like him to find him hot with another man’s piss on his pants.

About a hundred feet away, Bam leaned against a trailer with a bitter look on his face. “Dude! They’re totally eye-fucking him.” Ryan rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his beer while he continued ranting, “Like, seriously? Can you be any less obvious?” He looked at you with bile on his tongue, watching. Watching how you giggled when he made a joke, how Johnny smiled when he noticed you staring- god, he was probably saying something like, “y’see somethin’ nice, doll?” That hick asshole. “Dude. You have got to chill out.” Breaking the silence, Ryan almost sounded earnest, “They’re just friends. You are being paranoid.” Bam sputtered, “Dude! Back me up here!” He earned a shrug.

Bam had trouble keeping his clothes on, especially when you were around. This was no different. Discarding his shirt in the grass, his pants sat dangerously low on his pale hips, showing off your favorite tattoo of his as he walked over to you. He stood an inch closer to you than Johnny did, which was already pretty close, feigning coolness. “Hey, what’s up?” There was some underlying anger in the way his torso was held tensed, the way his jaw was clenched hard enough to crack geodes- it unnerved you. You shrank a little, “Nothin.”

Leaning past you, Johnny looked down at him, “What’s got’cha so hot, Bam?” It was a subtle gesture, but powerful. Bam scoffed, “Whaddya’ mean? Its hot as fuckin shit out here.” Johnny put a wide palm on your shoulder as he took a step towards Bam, standing in front of you. “I mean,” His dark, emotionless eyes looked over the silver rims of his glasses as he spoke softly, “What’s gotcha’ so pissy?” Your boyfriend stared up at him, his gaze beady and full of rage.

And in a flash, he was on him. A flurry of white, limp wristed punches and broad fisted thwacks as the two men clashed. Starting on their feet, they ended up on the ground after Johnny got Bam under the arms in a mock wrestling hold. “LA pussy!” “Philly-trash bitch!” It was like a dogfight- gnashing wet teeth, choked out obscenities- you could’ve sworn you saw Bam with raised hackles. You just stared at the action in front of you, jaw on the floor.

And as soon as it started, Jeff swooped in, grabbing Bam by the hair as he straddled Johnny and yanking him to his feet. Blinded by rage, he swung at nobody in particular as he was getting hauled off set, held a good arm’s length away like a rabid animal. You would’ve thought he was one too, with the foamy mixture of spit, blood, and sweat that dripped down his chest and the crazed look in his wide eyes as he stared back at you. The emotion behind them was indiscernible- anger, desperation, desire- just a slurry of hormones.

Glancing down at Johnny, you watched him as he wiped the cut on his lip with his thumb, blinking hard. His hair was tousled, slick with sweat that dripped down his face, making the little cuts where Bam’s tattooed knuckles hit him sting. Sitting up, he gingerly removed his glasses that were shattered against his face. “Holy shit…” You almost shook a little as he stared at you, unphased by it.

His breath was heavy as he got to his feet, looking down at you. Everything was kinda still for a moment before he snickered, “Dude. He totally got a hard on.”

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #angst #jackass x reader #bam margera x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #I’m sorry I bring it up so much I just love Bam’s ass wound #*slaps side of fanfction* you can fit SO many metaphors in this baby

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