#related rather than dd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zyonsay · 4 months

Note

Hello! Could i ask for some super niche things about max's relationshoip w his bf? Thankl you so much :DD

Niche Relationship Hcs MV1

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: The title!

Reader: Male/Genderneutral

Warnings: None

Now playing: 'Salvatore' by Lana del Rey

AN: Hey anon! Sorry for taking so long to make this... I try to do request in order they were sent in and i got really busy in the last few weeks! I hope you like it nevertheless <3

Max’s schedule is annoyingly busy, he’d rather be with you than having to attend press conferences and PR related appointments. But, no matter how busy he gets, he will always leave you a small note on your bedside table or on the fridge door. ‘Hey baby! Hope you have a great day, can’t wait to see you in the evening!’, along with a scribbly smiley and a few hearts.

I’ve mentioned this in all the Hcs I’ve ever written about him, BUT: He’ll always be touching you in some way. They are light, innocent touches like a hand on your back while you’re walking through a crowded area or his head on your shoulder while you’re cooking him some soup while he’s sick.

THE shirt. On your very first date, Max had worn a light blue dress shirt, which accentuated the blue hues in his eyes perfectly. Sadly, at the end of the night he accidentally spilled red wine on it. The Bordeaux red liquid left terrible stains on the light fabric, the only thing he could do was throw it in the bin, but this was THE shirt he wore on his first date with you, he could never throw it away! This snowballed into a running joke and to this day, the shirt remains in a picture frame on the wall. Whenever you have guests over, they’ll ask about it and Max loves an excuse to talk about you guys’ first date.

The dutch definitely likes to spoil you, so loads of gifts come naturally when dating him. But it’s not in a show-off type of way, he doesn’t just randomly buy you a sports car or another 4’000-dollar Bengal cat. It’s smaller, more practical gifts. Your favorite perfume is empty? He picked up another bottle of it when he went grocery shopping. You lost your favorite pen? Not even a day after there’s a new pack of the same ones on your desk, doesn’t matter if you’ve already found the ‘lost’ pen, which actually just rolled under your bed. Max loves seeing that shy little grin on your face when you tell him that he didn’t need to buy it.

A sort of ritual you and Max began was playing Mario Kart. Yes, when you get bored you two play on the switch together, but it’s become a tradition to play it the night before the Quali race. It’s some good old lighthearted fun, to settle down and relax before the stressful weekend began.

Even if Max himself isn’t a great cook himself, he loves to create dishes with you. If you know a lot of things about cooking (or maybe you’re a chef), he’ll ask many questions and try to get better. Believe it or not, this man couldn’t cook an egg when you two first got together!

Max travels often, either for Races or different press conferences, there’s always something up. He likes travelling by plane, but usually he sleeps through the flight. But there’s a very specific reason for that! The dutch likes to sew, he used to watch his mother sew his karting suits together when he tore it. You on the other hand, struggled with it. You never knew how long the thread had to be, or which setting you needed to use on the sewing machine. But, Max gladly helped you and with your new set of skills you had sewn him a pillow, as a small gift. It was a tiny bit wonky, but it came from your heart and he appreciated that. Before every flight, especially when you can’t accompany him on it, he’ll spray a little bit of your perfume on the pillow. As soon as he rests his head against it while gazing at the clowds, he sinks in your sweet scent. He’ll fall asleep swiftly, with a gentle smile on his face.

#ZyonsRequests #male reader #f1 x male reader #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #male reader insert #max verstappen x male reader #reader insert #x reader #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #gender neutral reader #x male reader #male!reader #male x male #gay

130 notes · View notes

agent-troi · 2 months

Text

scully and mulder's dynamic visibly changes after the onset of the season of secret sex

i've been thinking about how dd and ga deliberately played season 7 like mulder and scully were sleeping together, and i think there's solid evidence of that in the differences in how scully reacts to mulder appearing to show interest in another woman before and after the season of secret sex begins (i'm using millennium as the before/after divider bc i think that's what dd and ga decided, but this is based on my vague memory of a reddit comment about it which is how i first learned that the season of secret sex was a thing)

so overall there's an undercurrent of insecurity, borne of scully's uncertainty regarding precisely how mulder feels about her and what her place is in the hierarchy of things that are important to him in his life, that exists in the pre-millennium incidents and is glaringly absent post-millennium:

before millennium:

(i'm not gonna include phoebe/fire here bc i don't think scully's awareness of her feelings had yet risen to the point where she'd be truly jealous, i'd characterize her in that ep as largely protective of mulder and unwilling to let him deal with phoebe's games alone. it also helps that he's clearly not happy phoebe is back in his life again, unlike his much more positive reaction to diana)

war of the coprophages- the second scully finds out about bambi, she immediately hops in her car and drives up to miller's grove to join mulder, bc letting him investigate cockroaches alone was fine but god forbid he spend quality time investigating an x-file with an attractive female scientist who isn't herself- that's their thing!!

syzygy- to be fair the planetary alignment situation was exacerbating her- and mulder's- behavior here, but her jealousy of and hostility to detective white were still real, even if she would've been able to rein in her emotions better under normal circumstances.

diana fowley arc- i think this speaks for itself, lol

alpha- this is an interesting period in their relationship: after most of the diana shit is over, but before the tension between them is fully resolved (a process which to me begins with milagro/the unnatural and ends with amor fati, but that would be its own post lol).

other than introducing himself to karin as "fox" (maybe as a way to appeal to her preference for canids lol) and thus implicitly giving her permission to call him by his first name (which she proceeds to do throughout the episode), mulder doesn't seem to show much in the way of attraction to her.

even when he touches her hand to move the mouse, he's more interested in what's on the screen than in paying attention to her:

karin, however, is visibly affected by the contact, a fact which scully immediately notices:

later in the car, they have this convo, the last line of which is so heavily laden with diana subtext it's not even funny:

scully's reaction to karin is similar to her reaction to phoebe in that she's motivated mainly by wanting to protect mulder from his own naive, trusting nature, and from someone she believes is seeking to take advantage of it, rather than being motivated primarily by jealousy and defensiveness. she doesn't really believe that karin is a genuine threat to her relationship with mulder, but with diana still fresh in her memory she can't afford to not be vigilant. hence why she confronts karin alone later:

here scully demonstrates that she somewhat empathizes with karin (mulder is also someone who challenges her, makes her feel fulfilled and happy and alive). karin's response indicates that she has correctly deduced the basis of scully's dislike/distrust of her, and also acknowledges scully is the dominant one as it relates to the territory (mulder) that they are sparring over.

scully looks away at karin's "feminine wiles" comment, revealing the nagging insecurity about her place in mulder's life that diana's arrival exacerbated and that will continue to plague her until amor fati.

after millennium:

rush- when mulder looks back at chastity in the hallway, scully's reaction is to possessively grab mulder's sleeve and pull him away into the interrogation room:

and his response is to laugh and say "what?" like he doesn't know he belongs to her and only her.

keep in mind this happens just before they interrogate tony reed, and right after they finish interrogating him this shit happens:

i already made a post last week about how insanely flirty they are in this episode, but this scene!!

she's pouting and giving him big doe eyes and playing with his tie!! at work!! in public!! she feels comfortable staking her territory in such an obvious way (also playful rather than hostile) bc she's not longer insecure about her place in his life!! i can never be normal about this i'm sorry ssdfgksdgsjdkfhkjsdf

first person shooter- when mulder checks out jade blue afterglow as she's leaving, he leans so far over in such an obvious, exaggerated way, almost as if he's deliberately trying to get a rise out of scully, but all she does is raise her eyebrows at him and lean over to block his view (while smirking):

and then he says he's "feeling the great need to blast the crap out of something", an almost direct quote of scully's line from their convo in the autopsy room right before they went down to the station:

and her response is to SMILE at him!!

pre-millennium scully would absolutely not have reacted this way in this situation. just like in rush, the insecurity that previously haunted scully whenever mulder seemed to be close to or interested in another woman is utterly absent here. they're joking and teasing and enjoying each other's company like they've always done, but there's a different dimension to it now. pre-millennium mulder would never have made a show of checking out another woman like that right in front of scully (unless a planetary alignment is affecting his behavior ofc lol), and pre-millennium scully would never have found it amusing.

(side note: people were debating on twitter a while back about whether this scene was ooc for mulder, and tbh i'm not sure what my own opinion is bc to me the whole episode has an air of... unreality? idk but it gives me similar vibes to post-modern prometheus, like maybe it's real or maybe it's just someone telling a story or it's somewhere in between, and it's also got that same unserious feel idk how else to describe it)

anyway, back to my main point, which is: dd and ga are damn good actors in the way they were able to subtly telegraph this shift in mulder and scully's dynamic. one might be able to argue that the insane flirting throughout season 7 isn't by itself evidence of the season of secret sex bc on some level they've always been like that, but to me these specific interactions provide important clues that the nature of their relationship has changed.

101 notes · View notes

dotmander · 1 year

Text

How To Get Your Character Models Out Of A Game: Tips And Tricks For Bitches That Have Never Used Blender

(it's me, i'm bitches)

(also ignore how messy that lighting is it's 1am and i should have been asleep hours ago. he's there for proof of concept 💕)

a couple people (specifically @forsaken-constellation and @ratasum) asked for a tutorial on how to rip models out of the game. this is not that, but it is a compilation of resources i used to learn about ripping, blender, and 3d modeling in general. i desperately wanted a post like this to exist when i was trying to figure this out, so here we go! all the resources below are completely free, with the exception of a link to the patreon of the person that created ninjaripper.

disclaimers:

there are probably more efficient ways to do the things i am doing. i watched a tutorial to learn shortcuts and then skipped to character models. if you have tips to add, corrections to make, or other thoughts, please feel free to share! i'll link to your post here. ^^

i do not know if any of this will get your account banned. i've ripped several models, so i'm going to assume it's fine as long as you don't try to make money off of it. use your best judgment, be an adult, etc etc etc

last updated: april 2, 2023

PROGRAMS & WEBSITES

ninjaripper 1.7.1 - there's a newer version on the creator's patreon, presumably with support for newer versions of blender and fewer bugs, but i haven't tried that

blender 2.79 - the import addon that comes with ninjaripper 1.7.1 is outdated for the current version of blender (3.5 as of this post), so 2.79 is needed to combine the .RIP files into a .BLEND (blender) file

noesis - ninjaripper saves your textures as .DDS files, noesis lets you view them and export them as .PNGs

blender 3.5 (optional?) - i just like it better than 2.79. if you're completely new it might not matter to you. all of the tutorials linked later are for later versions, though.

mixamo (optional) - rigs your character for you and lets you put them in Situations (like my guy above.) there's a whole library of free animations and poses you can try!

TUTORIALS

how to use ninjaripper - most of what you need to know about actually ripping the files and using ninjaripper is covered here. do not skip this one.

how to use blender 3.5 - full disclosure i haven't finished this series because it's uhhhh many hours long. but if you are a complete newbie to blender, i do recommend at least the first few videos; you'll learn about shortcuts that will make your life easier, how to unfuck your model when it fucks itself for no reason, and different terms that will help you google things you don't know later on. possibly he even covers some of the things i'm about to link! anyway.

what's a uv map?

how to apply textures

how to apply bump maps (note: for our purposes, you wouldn't add a color ramp node, you would add an image node with your bump map, and attach it to the bump node as the person does in the video)

there should be stuff here about weight painting, cloth physics, emission maps (makes your sylvari glow), and other stuff, but um. i haven't figured those out <3

TIPS

TURN UP YOUR GRAPHICS BEFORE YOU RIP - if you don't, you might end up missing certain textures/glows/etc. HOWEVER, you should turn animations down, because apparently high animation can make your meshes misplace themselves

rip from the character select screen, rather than an instance, because you will have 100 meshes to sort through instead of 1400. i am not exaggerating either of those numbers. if you are new to blender, please love yourself and start with character select.

your textures will be fucked up the first time you try to apply them. this is because the UV maps (the things that tell your textures where to go) of your models are flipped upside down in relation to the texture image. you can flip them back over manually, ooooor you can just flip the entire texture file in something like CSP or photoshop.

for some reason all eyes are red in the texture files. i have not figured out why. i recommend editing the .PNG to have the correct eye color before applying the texture.

mixamo only works for humanoid characters with tight clothing (or without clothing at all). if you try to use it to rig a charr or asura, or someone with a skirt or big sleeves, you will most likely be disappointed.

that's all i can think of for now - if you have other questions, feel free to shoot them my way, although i can't promise i'll have a straight answer ^^;;

information from bookahlogy about character proportions, fixing normals, and other fun tips

#i dunno how to tag this so i simply Won't 💕#original #3d things

447 notes · View notes

factual-fantasy · 1 month

Note

Heya Factual! Just saw the Pokemon post- and while obviously the art is amazing as always- it's even cooler seeing you do some on paper art! I've always just doodled on paper myself, so it's sweet seeing you making some art the ol'fashioned way- and despite you claiming to be rusty, it came out great regardless! I especially like that haunter- a haunter named Grimace is the best thing I've seen all week!

And Thanks a million for answering my last Ask regarding goombas despite your cold- and I greatly appreciated you letting us know how much you appreciate our Asks- even if I can get a bit long winded at times... And staying on the theme of Koopa Troop related questions, another thing I wonder is what place the hammer bros and their variants have in the main Mario AU?

I imagine if they were included, they would maintain their status as elite soldiers- but function more like their original cartoon interpretations rather than the modern ones- as its suggested the modern variants use power ups- and magic- which the average Koopa in the AU simply cannot do- so they'd probably just be unique sub species with perhaps specialized gear and training- but what do you imagine that would include? And would all the variants be included- such as fire, ice, boomerang, and sledge- or none at all?

Oh, and just a goofy little side question- you mentioned the quadrupedal, more animalistic Koopa breeds such as the Spineys and Buzzy Beetles would be kept and treated as pets by their more intelligent relatives- how do you think one would go about taking care of such a creature? Would they be more like dogs or cats? Would they perhaps still be used for battle like in the movie- where Bowser took advantage of the buzzy beetles great strength by mounting bullet bill blasters upon their shells? And, most importantly- would your AU perhaps include the long held fan head cannon that cross breeding of Spineys and Buzzy Beetles eventually lead to the creation of the most powerful, fire proof, spike bearing, and creatively named beast of all time- the Spike Top!?

(Pokemon post in question)

:DD Thank you so much! I'm glad that you like my traditional art! :}} The hardest part about it is trying to take a nice picture of the drawing with my phone- 😅

I'm also happy to hear that people like the name Grimace! I was inspired by the McDonalds guy- XDD

As for the hammer bros, you got a lot right. They can't use power ups so the fire and ice bros gotta go. I also don't intend for them to use magic so the hammer bros endless supply of hammers also has to go-

I pictured the hammer and boomerang bros being regular koopas that just happen to be big and brawny. They were probably selected based on their body type and given special training. The B-bros still have their usual boomerangs, but the H-bros would get one giant hammer. As opposed to a million tiny ones-

Their status is nowhere near blue shells. They're probably above standard koopas but below parakoopas. :0

As for the more "animal like" Koopa relatives.. I'm not sure what would go into taking care of them.. I assume a good diet, scrubbing their shells.. stuff like that? I also imagined them ranging in size. Some of the spiny breeds growing big enough to be used as cattle/worker/farm animals. :0 not so much dogs and cats- I pictured them being a bit grumpy and slow. Not really a great pet-

Also I don't know if mixing a Buzzy beetles with a spiny would make a spike top- at least in my au.. but I can see where the headcanon comes from!

Speaking of spike top, they could be the same as spinys. But perhaps they don't grow that big- These little cranky turtles that could be taken in as a pet. And perhaps some Koopa families have! Though most koopas aren't interested in adopting a grumpy spike top- 😅😅

Also thank you for the ask! Bringing stuff like this to my attention and really getting me to think my AU through more! :}}✨💞✨

#my response #super mario bros

43 notes · View notes

rainbowsky · 4 months

Text

OK.

So a friend shared a tweet from a solo that made me laugh. The solo was trying to imply that DD posted that cat photo in reference to MTJJ. This is more of the SFN I've been talking about for a long time. They have their own interpretations that are frankly more deluded than some of the most insane turtle stuff.

If they think that everything cat related is referencing them, by that logic do they think every time DD gets on his motorcycle he is riding them*? 😅

*I would totally not be surprised if they did.

But it made me reflect on one of the things that I dislike about solo fandom versus our fandom.

In our fandom one of our biggest characteristics - and in the eyes of some, one of our biggest sins - is that we read things about them as potentially being a love letter to each other.

Solos read everything from GG and DD as a love letter to themselves. They think that GG and DD utterly adore them and they have this conceit that a huge portion of what GG and DD put out into the world is aimed directly at their solo fans.

It's one of the things that really rubs me the wrong way about solos. There's this self-insert fantasy that is so self-indulgent, and I think a lot more ridiculous than the things that we ruminate over. I talked about it in more detail in this post.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather think that GG and DD are sharing things with each other and are happy to have each other than to believe that everything they post is aimed at me as a fan. Frankly the latter is utterly ridiculous.

#solos belong to moling su sect #personal

54 notes · View notes

starsurface · 1 month

Note

LOVED the diapered babyspace Liu Kang post, especially because I’ve been so sick with a tooth abscess this week and these were so comforting to read!! tysm!!! I’d love to see any more you have for diapered Liu across both timelines lol, especially if he’s feeling fussy because maybe he got sick too but needs Raiden to look after him? They’re so precious! 😭

I'm so glad you liked them!!! I'm very glad they they're comforting for you, Sugar. <3 These are a bit more on them being sick, but I promise there are some diaper hcs there too!!!

Also I hope you feel better!!!! That really doesn't sound super fun. :(

A quick restate from my last Padded Request:

(Some strong languageuse) Before we get to the hcs, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with using or needing diapers. Some people use diapers use them for weird kink related things, but with age regression they are used for comfort and unfortunate inconvenience. Do not come to my blog because you wish to relate this with any kind of kink. Kindly fuck off and leave my blog alone, thank you.

^ This isn’t to bash regressors btw!!! This is me saying to fuck off if your a dd/lg or any type of blog like that. <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Lord Raiden w/ Babyspace Regressor Liu Kang That Uses Diapers MK11 Hcs pt 2

⛈️ Liu Kang doens’t get sick often, normally he get use his powers to burn whatever he has away

❤️‍🔥 Othertimes he’d just tough it out, either until it goes away, or until Kung Lao forces him to go to bed (and that’s when he’s sick sick)

⛈️ Raiden is a bit upset when he finds out how sick Liu kang is, and how he tried to ignore his physical health to train, but any lecture he has is going to have to wait

❤️‍🔥 Why? Because the moment Liu Kang sees him he starts blubbering, making grabby hands towards his Dada

⛈️ He’s tiny tiny too, feeling all sick and icky, he just wants to be babbied :(

❤️‍🔥 Raiden will put him into some padding, which makes Liu Kang very fussy

⛈️ He might feel icky and tiny, but he doesn’t need one!!! He’s big! He swears he’s big! >:(

❤️‍🔥 Raiden gently shushes him, saying it’s just a precaution, and lets Liu Kang throw a small tantrum before changing him

⛈️ Unfortunaly . . . Liu does end up needing it, which only makes a crying fit happen

❤️‍🔥 Raiden gently shushes him, rocking the poor boy before giving him a gentle bath and changing him again

⛈️ Liu Kang ends up feeling better quickly, especially with how Raiden makes him have yucky medicine and a lot of naptime

❤️‍🔥 Liu Kang would despise any kind of colorful design on his padding

⛈️ Those are baby baby diapers!!! He doesn’t need to use those!!! >:O

❤️‍🔥 He’d much rather have plain padding, atleast for a while

⛈️ Would be devastated if anyone other than Raiden, Kitana, or Kung Lao knew he used them

❤️‍🔥So when Raiden accidentally forgets to put the box away and Sonya questions him about it?

⛈️ Freak. Out.

❤️‍🔥 Absolute tears, sobbing over the fact someone found out, even if Raiden was asked about it and Liu wasn’t

⛈️ ^ Don’t worry, the rest of the gang was very supportive about it, and Sonya apoligized for snooping through Raiden’s room (she wasn’t snooping, she was just trying to find Raiden, total difference, but whatever 🙄)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Raiden w/ Babyspace Regressor Liu Kang That Uses Diapers MK1 Hcs pt 2

🌩️ Gods don’t usually get sick, such an ocurance is extremely rare

🌟 But that doesn’t mean it’s truly impossible

🌩 His monks are the one who send him back home, and Liu Kang uses his baby monitor to kinda beg for Raiden to come over

🌟 He wants his Rai Rai, and he feels too tiny to get up :(

🌩 Luckily, Raiden came over very quickly, almost in a rush (he didn’t want his baby to be all icky and alone)

🌟 Liu Kang is a little less fussy about wearing some padding, but still whines and tell Raiden that he’s not that tiny 🥺

🌩 Although . . . he clearly is, and Raiden isn’t buying his little fit

🌟 He does end up needing them, which does resolve in another crying fit, but Raiden’s very soft and gentle about it

🌩 Giving Liu Kang a nice warm bath, putting him into something comfy, it’s never nice feeling small and icky :(

🌟 Kung Lao pulled some strings and got Liu Kang and Raiden some soup from Madam Bo’s (Madam Bo just also adores baby Liu Kang, and might have given him a discount . . . Lao calls favortism)

🌩 He does feel better very quickly!! Being a God, and a fire God, he ends up feeling good about the next day

🌟 Is a little more open to padding with cute designs on them, especially since Raiden has some for when he’s small

🌩 Gasped and almost became a bit excited when Raiden showed him one with tiny dragons on it, and those are the ones that Liu Kang uses the most

🌟 ^ It does help Liu Kang’s little fits about padding lessen, and Raiden didn’t know why he didn’t think of something dragon related earlier

🌩 Or, until Johnny made a small joke about it, and now Liu Kang’s crying in Raiden’s arms

🌟 Johnny gets sent to a timeout, which also causes him to regress, and now Raiden has two fussy little ones to take care of

🌩 Liu Kang upset because he was just getting more comfy with padding and even though Johnny’s joke was more about dragons, it was still about him using padding and he didn’t like it

🌟 And Johnny’s upset because in his eyes, he didn’t do anything wrong!! He just made a joke, he doesn’t know why Liu Liu’s all upset!!

🌩 ^ Don’t worry, Johnny does apoligize after Raiden explains that Liu doesn’t like those kind of jokes, and Liu Kang does forgive him (and gets Johnny out of a second timeout because Kenshi wasn’t too happy about the situation)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

28 notes · View notes

sysmedsaresexist · 4 months

Text

⚡️News Flash⚡️

ToSD and the ICD - 2023

Autopilot functionality and self-destructive behavior in patients with complex dissociative disorders-A qualitative study

"One important theory of [DDs] is the [ToSD]. It distinguishes between [EPs] that are linked to traumatic memories and [ANPs] functioning in daily life. The 11th revision of the [ICD] newly introduced the diagnosis of [P-DID], acknowledging this theory by including components of it into a clinical diagnostic system."

It's a really interesting article that looks at those with OSDD/DDNOS/P-DID. It also has this amazing quote about functionality and distress, which everyone should read.

Please give it a go, despite the length.

---

In relating to themselves, most participants reported a functional, conformist behavior that we named “autopilot functionality,” one key feature being an explicit outward orientation of the patients, meaning that they tended to focus on other people’s needs rather than their own.

I did not exist. My environment existed. (P9)

From the participants’ point of view, parents played an essential role in the development of this outward-oriented behavior. The participants described that from an early age, they had the impression that their wishes and needs were unimportant. Rather, they felt that they had to conform to the wishes of their caregivers. This led to feelings of guilt and a constant suppression of their own needs and feelings.

The way I grew up… it was rather that I have to take care of my parents and what I want doesn’t actually matter… the main thing is that my parents are well and everyone else is well because otherwise… so I just always had feelings of guilt. […] So the relationship with myself, it was always rather oriented towards the others. (P3(2))

In this context, the participants also reported that they had learned to have little compassion for themselves, so that it felt normal for them to continue to function even though they were feeling bad.

There I am not very sympathetic with myself. That comes from the time when I was a child and for example, I can remember it well, my grandma had died and the teacher then said that I don’t have to do my homework and then I somehow didn’t understand what the one thing had to do with the other. And I think somehow that my mother is also a bit like that, that you still have to do everything somehow, even if it makes you feel bad. (P6)

The outward orientation learned from the caregivers later spread into various areas of life and affected relationships with children, friends, and colleagues. For many participants, work was a field in which they were very functional but often ignored physical needs like hunger, thirst, sleep, or pain in order to (over)fulfill the requirements of their workplace.

You start [work] at 12:30 p.m. and then you have to eat before or after, because there’s no break for six hours of work and then I just comply with the shift. […] And then I was with colleagues who said: “How that, you don’t take breaks, come take a break with us now.” And I said: “I’m not entitled to a break.” (P6(2))

The participants felt enormous pressure to maintain a façade to the outside. This could mean performing well in school or at work, or taking special care of their appearance so that nobody would realize something was not okay.

I always knew that I am not allowed to neglect my body, I have to take care, I need to wash myself, I need to brush my teeth because it’s really dangerous if someone sees that you are not feeling well. That has always been clear to me. (P4)

This mechanism of maintaining a façade had disadvantages for the participants. Because they looked so “normal” and continued to function, it was difficult for those around them to understand that they were not well, which made the participants feel isolated and not understood.

The worse I felt, the more I worked, and almost no one outside understands that. (P1)

The constant focus on functioning for others was exhausting for the participants and made it hard to develop a sense of self. For one participant, it even felt like she had to find a new identity after therapy, because she realized that she had only functioned for others.

Interesting actually that one doesn’t notice that at all. That one is actually only functioning and functioning, but functions really well, because one lives and works for other people. That was a very, very sad insight for me that I said, now I have half of my life behind me and had to realize that now I am born again, and I will look for my new identity with my new personality […]. Because before that, I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t have any boundaries, I was perfect in everything I did, of course. And now? (P9)

Participants described that one factor that helped them to function was their lack in perceiving feelings and bodily signals. For example, they had difficulties adequately perceiving hunger, thirst, and pain. Consequently, participants compared themselves to robots or machines that worked well but were unable to be in connection with themselves.

In the end, I didn’t feel at all whether the life I’m leading right now is actually what I want or whether I’m just doing it, just to do it, let alone that I felt anything. It was really only getting up, going to work, doing therapy, going home again, working, and somehow it was just like that. I think a robot captures it quite well, well programmed, but that’s just it. (P8(2))

As already described above, these difficulties with the perception of stimuli from within the body also made it difficult for the participants not to overburden themselves. They often only noticed that they had overstepped their boundaries through extreme physical signals (e.g., migraine and sleep disturbances). They also described overburdening as a strategy to distract themselves from complicated feelings and to avoid conflicts.

I was just astonished. Shit why do I have such a migraine now? Or why am I so exhausted and empty…? So, I always had the feeling that I had to do something, maybe to distract myself and I didn’t want anyone to feel offended or somehow get into a fight with me, so I preferred to do it and think to myself, okay, I have a fever of 40 °C, but I’ll do it anyway. (P7)

#syscourse #pro syscourse conversation #tosd #theory of structural dissociation #did #osdd #actuallydissociative #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actually traumagenic #debunk #research #weird that the icd would include it if it held no merit

46 notes · View notes

justanothersyscourse · 1 year

Text

DID IS a trauma-based disorder

Despite what garbage people say

Trauma and stressor related disorders is a new category in the DSM 5 based on short term, single traumatic events, in which the disorder and the symptoms can be clearly traced to the event. Dissociative disorders are placed next to those, but not a part of it, because it's a category based on symptom grouping. Not because they're not related-- DID is a trauma disorder, categorized by its dissociative symptoms, so they moved the whole damn dissociative section to put it next to trauma and stress disorders.

According to the linked article, "[Trauma and Stressor Related Disorders] is the only diagnostic category in the DSM-5 that is not grouped conceptually by the types of symptoms characteristic of the disorders in it," and, "A common focus of the disorders in it as relating to adverse events. This diagnostic category is distinctive among psychiatric disorders in the requirement of exposure to a stressful event as a precondition."

As per the DSM 5, “Psychological distress following exposure to a traumatic or stressful event is quite variable. In some cases, symptoms can be well understood within an anxiety or fear-based context. It is clear, however, that many individuals who have been exposed to a traumatic or stressful event exhibit a phenotype in which, rather than anxiety or fear-based symptoms, the most prominent clinical characteristics are anhedonic and dysphoric symptoms, externalizing angry and aggressive symptoms, or dissociative symptoms. Because of these variable expressions of clinical distress following exposure to catastrophic or aversive events, the aforementioned disorders have been grouped under a separate category: trauma- and stressor-related disorders. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for the clinical picture to include some combination of the above symptoms (with or without anxiety- or fear-based symptoms).”

In other words, these are disorders that present in a way that they don’t fit into other categories. It would be more appropriate to call this category “a trauma based trash bin”. It’s a handful of disorders with no set symptoms that don’t really fit into other categories.

Each of the disorders in that section states in the criteria something along the lines of: “The care in Criterion C is presumed to be responsible for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in Criterion A began following the lack of adequate care in Criterion C),” or, “symptoms begin and worsen following exposure to an event.” As well, there’s typically a duration in relation to the event listed (for example, “Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criterion B) is 3 days to 1 month after trauma exposure.”).

None of that applies to DID-- not because it’s not a trauma-based disorder, but because there’s multiple, longterm events, there’s usually amnesia, the symptoms usually aren’t discovered until decades later, and they’re typically lifelong. HELL-- PTSD used be under anxiety disorders. Because symptom grouping. This is nothing new, it’s nothing shocking or surprising.

DID and other DDs present with the main symptom of dissociation-- so it would make sense to group those, and put them NEXT to the trauma disorders. Because it’s a trauma disorder based on its dissociative symptoms. You literally, actually can’t put “exposure to trauma” as a criteria for DID-- it wouldn’t work, and it doesn’t actually make sense to do that and move it to TSRD if you just take the time to read the section on Trauma and Stressor Related Disorders. It doesn’t belong there.

DID is trauma-based, and still a dissociative disorder because of the setup of the DSM and the development and course of DID. Just because clinicians can’t currently tell the difference between trauma-based systems and endos doesn’t mean they won’t soon be able to. And at that point, no, endos can’t have DID. They can have PTSD (and they’d benefit from those resources far more). But not DID. A misdiagnosis (though I’d contend that it’s much more likely they’re actually a trauma based system) doesn’t change that fact, as much as you’d like it to.

@thelunastusco I’m tagging you. I’m calling you out. Your post is terrible and shows a very fundamental lack of understanding about DID, DDs, and the new category. You should feel bad.

#syscourse #debunk #anti endo #shit endos say #i don't care if you have DID #you get that tag because you're the damn coiner #obviously this post encompasses OSDD UDD as well

124 notes · View notes

flowerywhispers · 2 years

Note

hey hey! first of all I want to say I love your writing and thank you for your hard work!! <3 I'd like to ask if you could do Claude (wmmap) x sorcerer!reader? it can be either m!r or gn!r. The reader having a more flirty/playful personality but looking distant/almost sad whenever no one was looking;;; How would he be like with a person like that and how he'd fall in love with the reader? it can be headcanons or an imagine! you decide! once again thank you and have a good day/night!!! ^__^

| | Claude falling for a flirty sorcerer who gets distant and sad when alone | |

Character(s): Claude de Alger obelia

TW: Allusions to trauma and threats

Notes: Male MC || Male reader?! I never get to write for a male reader!! :DD

Claude starts off finding you to be one of the most frustrating people he's ever interacted with particularly because you're flirtatious nature reminds him of Anastacius and it bothers him to no end

He's used to women being flirtatious because he's emperor and it's in theory within their best interests to try and get as close to him as possible, but men being flirtatious irks him all too much more because you would think that you'd have a more important role to fill rather than going around and ‘seducing people' as he would put it

However, he does something akin to forcing himself to put up with you because, as a sorcerer, your magical prowess, even if you don't have as much mana as him, far surpasses his as it being your life's work and it's not advisable for the emperor to be on bad terms with someone with significant magical knowledge

He does, however, make it plainly clear to you that he does not want you within 20 feet of him. Preferably more though you simply don't listen to him when he tells you to step back and decide to get further into his space until he's forced to threaten you

Unfortunately he's serious about his threats and the only thing stopping him a large amount of the time is Felix's intervention

He only gets further annoyed by your presence when you start staying in the palace for some diplomatic reason or another to keep up relations between the empire and magic tower (he doesn't see the point with Lucas already staying but he knows that he can't convince you otherwise)

When day time work melds into the night, he'll find himself going to your chambers and entering (naturally, without knocking)

When he finds you sitting by the window, too caught up in your thoughts with an expression that he recognises on himself to hear him, he just leaves

It never really leave his mind but he avoids trying to find you when he knows that you would be alone. It feels too familiar to him and he doesn't like it. He's seen many that he would consider competent men fall to their thoughts and he doesn't like the idea of you 'lying' to him and hiding other feelings

Your incessant attempts to bother him for not meeting you so often only push him further down that road. What he doesn't realise is that this need to find out why you would dare lie to him becomes a need to make you honest to him in every way possible

He wants to know why you look so melancholy, yes, but with it comes him wanting to know why you're so flirty, why you're so playful, how he can make your facade of a smirk into an actual smile. Though of course he certainly isn't going to make that process easy for you

He still needs to get back at you for any times that you had successfully flustered him. They're far and few, yes, but he's certainly going to make them out to be much bigger than they are

Do not repost or claim. Only reblog 💗

#wmmap claude #claude de lger obelia x reader #claude de alger obelia #wmmap #wmmap x reader #wmmap hc #wmmap headcanon #who made me a princess hc #who made me a princess headcanon #who made me a princess x reader #who made me a princess #spoowrites

212 notes · View notes

yallemagne · 27 days

Text

This year, I'm not doing Dr*cula D*ily

Or any other substack but DD is the biggest. I have numerous reasons for this decision that none of y'all are gonna particularly care for, but ya know, just so we got our expectations in order: I'm not gonna participate in DD this year (maybe never again), I'm probably not gonna reblog many posts related to it (doing so would be counterintuitive), but I am holding myself to finishing Orice (at LEAST the base fic).

Now, why?

TL;DR: Mental health crisis brought on by internet harassment and overprioritizing social media. It's not fun anymore, folks.

DD just... it completely ruined the novel for me.

It was a nice phenomenon, but it took a wrecking ball to my mental health and self-worth. Now, I'm not saying DD's creator personally did something to spite me (or maybe I am, he knows what he did /j), but this whole thing? It wasn't good for me. It was never good. It was sometimes fun, but most of the time it made me want to end it because of thumblr notes.

That's fucking stupid. My life is not worth internet validation. My art is not worthless just because my numbers are not as big as the biggest big shots in the fandom. I'm not a horrible person when other people handle personal disagreements regarding headcanon with defaming rumours and impersonation. But hell! My view of reality was horribly skewed.

A while back, I unfollowed all the gothlit tags I previously followed because 1) Some people (active and popular members of the fandom, mind you, not bots or trolls) were posting honest-to-god name-dropping harassment in the tag because "it's a popular tag so more people will see my callout post" and 2) I reached a point where seeing anything related to the novel on my dash just set me off. It didn't even need to be drama-related anymore. Mentions of the characters, mentions of popular AUs, just the very content of this book became triggering to me, and I really didn't miss the content when it was gone, as sad as that is.

And the kicker? I've come to realize that I probably dislike more things about the novel than I actually like about it. Not only is it tied to some of my darkest moments in recent memory, but it's also just... a book with many flaws that I could go on and on and on about. Sometimes, it straight-up made me furious, like seething mad, and I think I'd rather just be happy. But even when I would try to channel that energy into being happy, I always felt I had to over-clarify or else I’d get bombarded with anonymous messages. If you’ve seen any of my posts from during that time… chances are there is a passive aggressive “btw people can have opposing opinions from you about an old book and it doesn’t give you leave to stone them” or several tags of “#this is a joke #a jooooooke #for the love of god #if y’all don’t stop”. I bet it was as annoying for y’all as it was for me.

P.S. Mutuals/friends, do not worry. Y'all keep doing y'all. I can and will block tags if seeing your posts triggers me. So, I suppose my only request is to properly tag, but I've been saying that from the very start.

I just want to move on to other things.

I took a break for Lent. I needed it terribly. And... not gonna lie? I almost didn't want to return. I never got an itching to just log on and "check in". I very successfully avoided tumb altogether. I came back because "I gotta come back eventually" and also like, this is my main hub where I update when I've written a fic, and ya know... I'm not gonna let toxic fandom bs rule my shit.

During my break, I got back into gaming. More specifically, I started playing Hades again. And listening to Epic the Musical. Aaaand boyyy did that bring me back to my Greek mythology phase. I have a Greek mythos/Hades sideblog btw: @areopagusimp. It's cringe, if you can't tell by the blog name.

Back when I was into Hades game and general Greek mythos, my expectations were so much smaller, but yet, my goals and will to create seemed so much bigger. I made art that no one gave a single solitary shit about (except for my friend), but I was happy. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses, but... even if I wasn't as happy then as I remember being... haha at least I wasn't receiving threats and insults in my inbox back then :))). That was the most fun thing about the gothlit fandom. I hope every single chickenhearted angry anon is proud of their behaviour.

But yeah, whatever I end up doing, I’m striving to not let it run me into the ground.

But... What do I do now?

I have so many WIPs (art and writing) for the novel, and it's very disappointing that I didn't get to finish them before it all turned sour. Hopefully, I can still finish them, it just won't be with the same distress I worked with before. Hopefully, I can post that stuff and fully manage my expectations, not crash and burn when only a few people like it. Because hell! A few people liking my stuff? That's amazing, really. I shouldn't take that for granted. At the same time, I'm setting a boundary for myself. Placing my self-worth into the hands of people who I don't know, who don't know me, and who aren't even paying for the art? I need to stop that. Who the hell is that gonna serve? Absolutely no one.

My number one goal is to finish Orice. It is somehow untouched by my aversion to the novel; it is my safe space. I want to honour it and honour the longtime readers who have stuck with me. It's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be worth it for me.

This feels attention-seeking, and it kinda is. I'm not tagging the main subject and I'm not allowing reblogs because I want this to stay isolated (and hopefully prevent backlash/misunderstandings), but ya know, no matter how much I try to keep this small, I'm still posting it online. But I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. I don't really owe everyone an explanation, but I want there to be one for my own sake... also it's much easier to generalize and make a post than contact each of my friends/mutuals on here and unload stuff onto them that I'm not sure is too personal or not.

For those of you who are reading: I love y'all. I love the good people I've met through all this mess. I want to keep the good apples, not throw out the whole harvest, alright? Dunno how much you'll care for my art when the subject is different, but... eh. If y'all are willing to try?

#i'm writing this in march #dunno when it will be posted #update

11 notes · View notes

ryuttaeng · 1 year

Note

Ryujin x Reader ---- Reader gets super sick on stage and starts gagging so Ryu gets really worried and carries her backstage so she can try to throw up incase she needs to [ 6th member reader :DD ]

pairing: ryujin x 6th member!reader

summary: the show goes on, starting smoothly, although you don’t feel rather good.

contents/warnings: emetophobia, possible tw (totally not a self insert), hurt/comfort, fear of throwing up, sickness, anxiety, please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable with such themes!

genres: hurt/comfort

you wanted to close your eyes but you couldn’t as you were performing right now, but your sickness started to get worse and worse as you moved. you tried to count till the song ends, wanting just to lay down with your eyes closed.

was it something you ate before or it’s anxious nausea, anything else that you couldn’t think of right but try to concentrate on your performance.

you feel overly anxious, you also notice that your heart rate sped up and your breathing rate increased. but what you didn’t like the most, was experience a bout of nausea.

always during a moment of high anxiety, you might’ve felt just a bit queasy. light feeling in your stomach giving a public presentation or going on a job interview. this kind of nausea may pass fairly quickly.

but this kind of anxiety, when you feel like dry heaving and almost throwing up was the worst. you wanted to make a dash to the backstage, bathroom, wherever you could just calm down and relive this feeling.

of course, everyone feels anxiety occasionally. it’s not something abnormal and not necessarily a bad thing. but in your case, it’s problematic as you frequently feel anxiousness accompanied by nausea.

they said to try to focus on the present rather than stressing about what may happen later when your anxiety takes hold.

you repeated yourself to consider what’s happening in the moment, and remind yourself that you’re safe and that the feeling will pass.

you tried to take long, deep breaths, but it didn’t work for you right now, as you still have to sing the song at the moment.

also, something that you should avoid while feeling nauseous? intense physical activity. which you successfully failed to do.

ryujin looked at her left as she saw one member’s movements became more constrained by every second passing. she turned her head, now witnessing your face turned pale and you tried to bend over.

you proceeded to sing your lyrics, but after quickly covering your mouth with your hand, yet still continuing to dance. now all of your group members noticed your statement, which definitely wasn’t good at all.

you closed your eyes, wanting to stop, when you felt someone holding your waist, quickly leading you somewhere. your eyes still closed and hand covering your mouth when you heard the door closed.

ryujin looked at you in the mirror, as you opened your eyes and went to the bathroom counter. “do you need to-“ “no! no, i just need some time to… relax.” you quickly said, not wanting to hear anything related with your nausea.

now finally you tried to calm yourself by taking long, deep breaths. you sat down, when you heard knocking on the door. it was staff handing ryujin a bottle of water, then giving it to you.

ryujin kneeled down beside you, rubbing your shoulder. “you’re okay?” she asked carefully, receiving a nod from you after few seconds. “yeah… thank you.” you whispered rubbing your eyes before softly smiling at her and receiving a smile back from ryujin.

#itzy #itzy imagines #itzy oneshot #kpop imagines #kpop oneshots #itzy ryujin #ryujin x reader #ryujin x female!reader

97 notes · View notes

roipecheur · 3 months

Note

...did marvel seriously kill Frank off just to make a new Punisher?

So, this made me look up Joe Garrison, because I've not been following Marvel that closely beyond DD as of late, and I was actually not aware. Afaik, Frank zapped himself into some fucked up hellscape world at the end of the last Punisher run (which s u c k e d and I hope it gets retconned entirely), so he's not really dead, but it seems like Marvel is, at least for now, claiming that they've retired him. In true comic book fashion, though, it seems like they've given him a way to come back. I mean. Dead characters come back all the time in comics to the point where it's one of the things they're known for, and Frank isn't even dead.

As for Joe Garrison:

Extremely funny to me that his last name is Garrison

In Punisher '87, they had Lynn Michaels and Payback as alternative Punishers, including in an arc where Frank was supposed to be dead, and they didn't stick around. Frank did.

Frank, as some articles claim, also had "problematic baggage", meaning that right-wing paramilitary idiots and the police liked to co-opt his symbol. As a new character, Joe Garrison is supposed to be less "problematic" and have a clean slate. But listen. Listen. This is not going to stop people from co-opting the Punisher symbol. Even if they're trying to make this carbon copy of Frank (who also lost his wife and family) less brutal and more compassionate, he's still got a (vaguely redesigned) skull on his chest, and he's still out there shooting people for vengeance, and, oh yeah, he's still called the Punisher.

Punisher 2020 really read like, "hmmmm there are some unfortunate implications to the way certain people are relating to Frank's character, so rather than address those in a satisfying way that makes sense, we're going to nuke his characterization and stick him in hellscape land for a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ amount of time." Seeing Marvel go from Punisher: Kill Krew to that was so disappointing bro. Like watching a fucking train wreck.

Yeah, Frank has baggage, but you know what he also has? History. Flavor. He's a product of his original context and the time when he was created, and there are ways to adapt that for modern readers that fucking work. (Netflix!Frank did a bang up job of this tbh). Joe Garrison is a former SHIELD agent rather than a war vet. Imo about half the point of Frank's character is how the war taught him violence and he resorted to that as his only response to grief, and it really seems like Marvel thought it was a good idea to copy Frank and sand down all his edges.

As a silver lining, it looks like we're going to see more of MCU Frank in Disney+ Daredevil. Now that the writers and actors have won their strike and with it better working conditions that will hopefully give more respect to their skills, I am tentatively hopeful that it will be better than what the synopsis of Disney+ DD sounded like before (😬). Don't know how much Frank will be in it yet, but maybe this will inspire a little more interest in the character, and we will get another 616 run of Frank at his best: getting forcibly befriended by every child, dog, and senior citizen he encounters in between episodes of gratuitous violence. 😎✌

On a final note, if Marvel wanted to separate Frank from the disturbing amount of people that seem to take him for real-life inspiration--which is the wrong idea to have about any comic book vigilante, lethal or otherwise--all they gotta do is give him a new hot dude version of Microchip and make them fuck like rabbits. Every right-winger who likes the Punisher would immediately drop him like a hot coal. But Marvel won't do that because they're cowards.

#punisher #asks #this activated me like a sleeper agent

9 notes · View notes

amysubmits · 9 months

Note

Hi Amy, I like being spanked as a punishment, it’s not so much sexual as it is about the feeling of being taken care of and held accountable. The closest thing I would describe how I feel when getting a punishment spanking is probably the ddlg dynamic, except I don’t enjoy being treated like a little girl outside of a spanking. And the reason why I would equate how I feel with ddlg is because I like the idea of getting a spanking because I broke a rule, like I forgot to take my medicine, or I didn’t do my homework or I watched too much tv and other things that are bad for me. So being spanked feels like I’m being taken care of. Somehow this feels icky even to me, and I have trouble finding the right words to explain how I feel. I’ve told him I like being spanked and he thinks it’s mainly for sexual reasons. And as soon as I whimper he stops because he thinks I want it to stop or he’s hurting me. Even though I explained to him that spanking is supposed to hurt and it’s ok if I resist a little and cry a little. But he’s expecting someone who’s really turned on when being spanked and my reactions make him come to a full stop every time. How should I explain or phrase this to him so he would understand? Honestly I don’t really understand why I feel this way either and it feels icky to me too that I want to be punished and then comforted like a helpless child

Hey Anon,

Sorry it took me a bit to get to this.

I can recall being in a place sort of similar to where you're at, in that I had a few things that I knew about my D/s desires, but they didn't seem to fit perfectly into any of the dynamic examples that I found online - and that bothered me. A big part of me wished I could find some specific label or even just one other couple who were doing exactly what I thought I wanted and needed. I think I was seeking validation for my feelings and desires, basically.

But, I never really found anyone else who was exactly like me, or another D/s dynamic that was exactly like mine. And I think that's pretty much everyone's experience. I think the labels we use like DD/g or M/s and so on, are just sort of general ideas, so it makes sense for most people to find some elements from some D/s types that they relate to, and others that they don't.

Part of what that means is, you're unlikely to find a specific label or D/s style that you can tell to your husband and have him 100% understand exactly what you want or exactly what you're asking for.

Instead, you're likely to have to do a ton of explaining and discussing. If you haven't done so already, then sharing with him something really similar to what you shared with me here could be a great conversation to start with.

Getting from where you're at, to where you want to be with your mutual understanding of D/s, will likely be a series of conversations rather than just one. Which can be hard if you aren't used to that type of really open communication...or if you have shame or insecurity related to your desires. But, I hope you'll find that it's really well worth the work involved. It can lead to really deep intimacy in the end.

With your use of words like 'icky', it sounds to me like you're struggling with some shame related to your desires. I think that would be a good thing to let him know, so that he can recognize that this is a sensitive topic for you and so that you can both try to proceed with caution.

I think a lot of subs and a lot of kinky people struggle with shame about why they are the way they are, or why they have the kinks that they have, etc. For me, something that helped a lot was making friends within the community here on tumblr. For some reason, it's easier to judge ourselves for our desires than it is other people. Finding a friend who also likes to feel watched over or held accountable by their partner can make it easier to accept that in yourself, sometimes.

I think his hesitance to spank you more or harder makes sense given that he is seeing this as a sexual thing, and you aren't. If he thinks of spanking as something where a sub/bottom would be more of a "pain puppy" who would be going "fuck yeah, hit me harder Daddy!' with a huge smile on her face, then it's understandable why his brain is telling him "This is bad, I should stop!" when you are reacting with whimpers or just don't seem to be having a blast.

It is a really good thing that he is erring on the side of caution rather than risking harming you emotionally or physically. I'd suggest explicitly telling him that you don't want him to stop just because you make a noise or wince or similar. Reassure him that you will use your safeword if you actually want him to stop. Or, if he already knows this but is still choosing to stop, you may discuss with him if he's insecure about if you really want it, or if it's just that he doesn't want it. Not everyone is comfortable with spanking their partner to the point of discomfort or in scenarios that are not sexual. It might be a limit for him, and if that's the case, it's important for you to know that.

I don't think there is really any "perfect wording" to assist with getting someone to understand what you want. I think that focusing on how you're wanting to feel is often a really good thing to cover. A lot of times hesitance about Ds or BDSM activities from the dom or top side comes from not wanting to mistreat us. Which again, is a GOOD thing. Such a good thing to have a partner who has those protective instincts. Anyway - individual people's interests in the exact same acts can vary so much...and sometimes explaining how XYZ makes you feel or how you're wanting to feel, can go a long way to easing fears. For example, someone might worry that spanking their partner might make them feel afraid, abused, worthless. If you instead explain that you think it will make you feel small, watched over and loved - that might make a meaningful difference to their perception of this act. And this is true for so many other aspects of D/s and other kinks as well.

Something else that I'd suggest discussing is how you're interested in trying these things because of how you think they'll make you feel. But sometimes the reality of things feeling different than we thought they would. And so as you explore new experiences, you can discuss how it felt afterwards. That way, you can both keep in the loop about how each thing is actually making you feel, and you can decide whether or not to repeat those experiences as you go. Trying something once doesn't mean you'll have to do it forever if it turns out that it doesn't actually feel the way you wanted it to. Sometimes we only learn what really works for us through trial and error, and that's perfectly fine as long as we just keep in good communication throughout.

My last suggestion would be to include his side of the experience in this conversation. Let him know how it's important to you that he doesn't do anything he is too uncomfortable with. Let him know that you don't want him to feel like a 'bad guy' or like he's mistreating you. Let him know that you want him to keep communicating with you about how these experiences feel for him, too. Let him know that while you have some specific hopes/goals/dreams, that you also want to incorporate his interests/desires/goals/dreams into the dynamic too. Ideally, over time you'll find ways for it to feel like this dynamic meets some of his needs, too.

I hope something in here helped! Best of luck to you. :)

#asks #d/s

24 notes · View notes

rainbowsky · 5 months

Note

hi, new turtle here and kind of clueless about a lot of things especially how to support GG and DD if we're from intl fandom. that is, I know DD has a lightstick, I know GG has other things..? (which are those?) my point is, how do we as intl fans support them? for Thai actors I know that we can donate money for advertisements and whatnot, but idk what to do for GG and DD. do you have any ideas? thank you and sorry if this message isn't very clear, my English is bad today >_<"

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛 Your English is just fine. ☺️

Sorry for the delay in replying to this, I've had very little time lately for Tumblr and I'm hopelessly behind on asks!

I know I've talked about this a bit in the past but finding older posts on Tumblr can be insanely difficult, so I'll go over some of my thoughts on this again.

Standard disclaimer: This is my personal opinion, not a list of demands or directives. Everyone gets to decide how they want to engage in fandom. There is absolutely no obligation to do any of these things, and doing these things does not make you a better fan than anyone else. Nor is anyone who is unable to do these things a lesser fan. The primary goal of fandom is to enjoy yourself (without harming others). I encourage each of you to find your own path and hold your head high, and never let anyone dictate your fandom experience or bully you for your choices.

I'm going to focus on things anyone can do without spending a lot of money or investing a huge amount of time. Alongside that I'll give some advice for those who want to take things further, and warn of some things we might want to avoid.

1 ] Be the best people we can be

The number one thing we can do is live our best lives, be the best people we can be, and help make the world a better place.

From a fandom perspective, we should all be striving to represent GG and DD in the best possible light by being a positive example of fandom at its best. Be kind, be compassionate, be open-minded. Don't bully others, don't engage in fan wars, don't trash other artists or fans. Respect other fans, artists and fandoms.

It's also important to think of how best to respect and protect them, and ensure we aren't painting them in a bad light.

Consider all the ways GG and DD inspire us to make the world a better place, and be the kind of person that reflects their goodness. Behave in ways that would make GG and DD proud, and that show turtles to be a positive force in the world.

Spend time with family, work toward our own goals and dreams. Don't over-invest ourselves in being their fan. This is something GG especially has urged fans to do for years and years.

Taking it to the next level

Lead by example and share that message/approach with others (in a kind, non-judgmental way). Do charitable works in their name (even if it's just in your own local area). Support causes that they would appreciate.

Some causes GG and DD have supported in the past: disaster relief, animal welfare, youth organizations that support disadvantaged kids, autism orgs. Consider orgs that help get kids involved in sports and in the arts. Theater and performance orgs as well. Given the nature of this fandom, you might also want to consider supporting queer orgs (there is a list of queer refugee orgs in this post).

I honestly believe that more than any other thing we could do to support them, this would BY FAR make GG and DD the happiest - just knowing that their fans are inspired to do kind things for others. They would be happier knowing our money is helping those in need, rather than being wasted on things we don't really need in some misguided desire to 'support them'.

Stay away from

Never behave cruelly or in a warlike manner toward other fans, artists or fandoms - especially not 'in GGDD's name'. I can't count how many times I've seen hateful people sporting GG or DD-related usernames and avatars invading other people's fandom spaces to attack them.

Don't support the stalker economy, and make sure the material we connect with them is not harmful. More on that here.

Avoid being taken advantage of. Always do your due diligence before giving money to any cause or organization to ensure they are legitimate and reputable.

2 ] Enjoy and promote their works

Another extremely important thing we can do is enjoy their work and show our support with reviews, ratings, and word-of-mouth recommendations. After all, this is the core of what their careers are about, and it's what they put so much hard work into and make so many big sacrifices for.

A list of key projects and how to view can be found here.

Taking it to the next level

Buy subscriptions on platforms where their work is being shown, buy tickets for their films, etc.

If the films are showing in a region you can't travel to, you can still buy tickets for turtles who can't afford to go. Consider organizing group viewings of their work, or helping to spread the word about their projects in other ways.