#redoing designs is good because it let's you know there HAS BEEN progress after all!

[lidoshka]

Maglor of the sands

I redid a design I did a while ago.

Also, in case you haven't, I reccomend you read the series "Everlasting Song" by @amethysttribble

#mis trazos #tolkien world #silmarillion #maglor #feanorians #fanfic recs #redoing designs is good because it let's you know there HAS BEEN progress after all! #I keep drawing some kind of guitar-like instrument #even when it has been proved over and over that he has a harp #Ooops #ooopsie #everlasting song #fanfiction begets fanart

[archangelsquill]

i’ll come running

pairing: damien darkblood x civilian reader (gn, no y/n)

word count: 1190

summary: damien has a spell on you to warn him if you’re ever in danger. one day, it alerts him while you’re supposed to be at work.

warnings: none, really. uuuuhhhh work woes, protective damien?

a/n: bad day at work equals this, my dudes. also, i’m not super happy with this one, but if you never try, you never learn and all of that. still getting the hang of writing the raspberry man lmao

---------

“This is a damn trainwreck.”

The voice of your boss broke through the fog you’d been comfortably stewing in. This meeting was not only annoying, but you were being talked at, not to. Like always, you just let him talk so you could just get back to your job. You always laid low and it served you well.

Until today.

Today, you were the one responsible for the meeting. You were the trainwreck in question.

“Do you want to be here?”

No.

“Yes, I do!”

“Then why is your work so…” he paused to find a word, “lacking?”

You’d stayed after hours to work on that project.

Ouch.

“I don’t know…” you mumbled, not meeting your boss’ gaze.

“Well, figure it out. Then redo it. You have a week.”

This first attempt had taken you two.

“Okay.”

Not okay.

“That’s all I got for you. Go get started.” and with that, he turned away from you, back to his own work. Quietly, you got to your feet and left the big fancy office to head to your small, cramped cubicle. You stared at the mess. Papers, statistics, and other office supplies were scattered all around the small space: the remains of your hard work, scattered and messy, much like your confidence.

You looked at the clock on your desk, defeated.

You’d been in there since you clocked in at eight.

Now it was eleven.

And you still had to survive the rest of your shift without crying, or at least, not getting caught crying by the boss. You couldn’t get emotional. That’d hinder your work. Can’t have that, obviously.

The stress of it all weighed heavy on your chest, making breathing feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You can’t quit, you barely make enough to live paycheck to paycheck, but you can’t get promoted because your position simply isn’t designed that way, no matter how much your boss lied to you and told you one day you’d be promoted. One day you’d be full time.

Bullshit.

Tears stung your eyes as it all hit you. You were stuck. Painfully stuck.

You wiped desperately at your tears. You couldn’t cry now. You had a project to finish. Taking a deep breath, you flopped onto your desk chair and got to work, hoping the pressure would somehow make this better than your first attempt.

You worked well past closing time. Even your boss had gone home, without even a breath in your direction.

Whatever. You were making progress, and you had to admit, it was looking good!

That is, until a loud boom! somewhere in the city -- probably some superhero fight --  knocked out the power.

You sat in silence, blankly staring at the black screen that had previously held your unsaved progress.

That did it.

When the first whimper left your throat, nothing was going to stop it.

You curled up in your chair, exhausted and heartbroken. How the hell were you supposed to finish this if you had to restart it again tomorrow? God, you were thankful no one else was in the building.

That is, until you felt a familiar chill fill your small cubicle. You didn’t even look up. You couldn’t.

“Amare?” gruff, yet concerned bass joined your tearful silence.

You couldn’t answer.

“Amare? Are you alright?” The familiar nickname came more urgently this time. You heard him shift over to you, and felt one clawed hand find rest on your back while the other found your chin, tilting it up so you could see his warm, glowing golden eyes gazing at you.

You muster a nod, but the lump in your throat keeps you from doing much else.

“Thought you were in danger,” he said, scooping you out of your chair and setting you on the floor as he inspected you for injuries, “Invincible broke through office buildings two blocks away. Thought--”

He didn’t finish his thought.

“Felt your fear. Came running.”

You met his gaze, confused.

“How?” you croaked.

He tore his eyes from yours.

“Worry for you…” he almost looked sheepish, “Have ways of knowing.”

Cryptic bastard.

“I’m okay, Damien,” you let out a shaky sigh, “Just the boss being...well…”

A nice, office appropriate word escaped you. With a stern look, Damien finished your thought for you.

“A bastard.”

“You said it, not me.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment.

“So is sensing fear something all demons can do or…?” you trailed off. Demonology was interesting to you, especially how Damien explained it, but it was also a feeble attempt to get your mind off what will happen tomorrow.

“No…” he paused, “Worry for you. Cast a spell. When scared or hurt, I feel it.”

You furrowed your brow. You weren’t even mad, just...confused.

“Why?”

He looked back at you, those glowing eyes bringing the comfort of a warm fire as he pulled you close to him.

“Do not want to lose you,” he replied softly, “Will protect if I can.”

You blush a bit. You weren’t sure what to call this thing you had with Damien. Dating? Friends with benefits? Partnership? Pact of the Fiend Warlock? You never knew. All you knew was how you felt for him. Maybe it was love, maybe it was just affection, but either way, you cared for the demon detective. You never knew if it was mutual, but now...well, now you did.

“Really?” You felt like a first grader asking your crush if they like liked you, but you needed to know.

“Love not a thing demons taught,” he said flatly, the words wounding you before he continued quickly, “Not soft enough to feel like that. But...you…”

He gently cupped your face.

“Make me want to learn.”

You couldn’t think of how to respond, other than letting your mouth fall open in surprise at the confession. He’d always been sweet to you (as much as a demon can), showing a softer side that no one else knew he had. He’d bring you gifts, walk you to your apartment, but you always thought that was part of his “stay out of hell” thing.

Until now, of course.

“Well…” you stammered, “I can...I can teach you.”

Could you? You were human. Love was in your nature. Was it something that could be taught?

As a rare smile spread across his lips, you decided you were going to find out.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you. You wanted to kiss him, but before you could make any move to, another, much closer boom! rattled the building, knocking over bookshelves and nearly knocking both of you over.

“Talk later. Must evacuate.” he said with a quick peck to your temple. He helped you to your feet as you quickly grabbed your bag.

“If anything happens, I will come running.” and with that, he disappeared, but the chill didn’t leave like usual.

It was funny. You used to hate the cold. Now, as you ran down stairwells and out the front door just in time to see an Invincible colored streak crash through your office, you didn’t mind it so much.

In fact, you kind of preferred it.

#damien darkblood x reader #damien darkblood #reader insert #still have no idea how to take this lmao

[shadowscans]

Translation of natalie.mu's Interview with Soumatou

Source: https://natalie.mu/comic/pp/shadowshouse03

With the TV anime “Shadows House” starting its broadcast on the 10th of April, Comic Natalie is running a special feature on the work. In this third installment of the series, the original author Soumatou makes their long-awaited appearance. Here, we are given the chance to hear them talk about the behind the scene of the production, the sense of speed that comes from the short amount of time between the adaptation decision and the broadcast, the background behind the creation of the original work where the characters have no face and whose expressions cannot be seen, as well as the story behind the creation of the 2-person unit Soumatou, with Nori in charge of design, and Hisshi in charge of drawing. It should be noted that in this interview, they are answering not as Nori and Hisshi but as Soumatou.

“It’s probably a work that’s hard to adapt into anime”

──Soumatou-san, when did you hear of the anime adaptation?

In 2019, about 50 chapters were made free to read online, and amidst the great response, we learned that the anime adaptation was greenlit.

── Making something open to the public has such an effect, huh?

When “Shadows House” started, it was a relatively subdued serialization. With the chapters being made free to read, people started sharing their thoughts through various means like Twitter, and the paper volumes were selling out. In regards to the public release, back when the person in charge proposed the idea, we approved of it since our impression was that “If not many people were reading it anyways, then let’s just give that a try.” Therefore, in the midst of all that, when we heard of the anime adaptation, we were very surprised. “Is there such a thing?” Because production starts immediately after the decision, it was very speedy.

──With how short the time period is between the decision and the start of broadcast, it doesn’t seem like you have much time to rejoice huh (laugh).

We were happy at the time of the decision of course, but apart from that, “It’s probably a work that’s hard to adapt into anime” was what we thought. In the first place, we’re the type that only believe in something we can see, so it didn’t really sink in for us. We were thinking something like “This project might not even fall through” (laugh). That is why ever since the anime adaptation was publicly announced, the feeling of joy finally sinked in.

──Soumatou-san, in what ways were you involved with the anime?

We supervised roughly all the main processes. When the anime adaptation was greenlit, since the person in charge advised me that “If you will be involved, then be involved with everything. If you won’t be involved, then don’t be involved with anything at all,” we thought “If it’s going to be like that, then we will do as much as we can.” However, the supervision of the script was quite hefty, and having to do that concurrently with the serialization was rather physically difficult.

──I had the chance to watch the first episode, and the thing that surprised me was the original development related to Emilyko’s establishment. Was it difficult to supervise these parts?

We had thought to draw that in the original work, though we decided not to since we thought it wasn’t particularly important. That was just a story from the original work which was added on. However, what was difficult were the adjustments made based on the decision at the script meeting to also depict elements or episodes which are not yet revealed in the original work. We have to think two steps ahead of the current plot of the ongoing serialization, then we have to put in stories or elements that would put us closer to that in the anime. It was a maddening task (laugh).

──If that’s the case, then it seems like it would be fun to compare the original work with the anime huh. Even though it’s difficult, was it refreshing to work on the anime?

Yes. Since we didn’t know anything about anime, or rather, we had no production know-how, so at first, we had no idea how everything would progress. To begin with, we gave them the material created for the serialization. Because we have already created a vast amount of material like the building’s 3D layout, it was easy to say “This is what the layout looks like.” In addition, even though the creation of the colored edition was intended for overseas readers, that material seemed to have been of use for the creation of the colors in the anime. In that sense, there might have been little materials that must be created when it comes to adapting it into an anime.

Supervising as far as the way soot is emitted and the movement of the Clingers

──Soumatou-san, what kind of impression did you have when you saw the anime?

We were amazed by how much more profound the atmosphere was than what we expected. We knew the character’s line drawing and the colors that go on them since we supervised it, but we can’t visualize the final image with just that. However, when we saw the processed recording with the background attached, we felt it was close to the impression of the original work.

──How about the directing?

Expressions that aren’t possible in the manga, such as the movement of the soot, Emilyko rolling on the ground or the inclusion of the song that the Living Dolls sang to themselves, left me with a strong impression.

──As for the soot, I was convinced that it would move like that. Was that also supervised by you?

As for the soot and the clingers, we were shown a few patterns, then we fine-tuned it from there.

──By the way, what kinds of patterns were there?

As for the soot, there was a difference in how it was emitted, be it softly or firmly. For the clingers, there was a difference in the movement, like whether it would move slowly like a cockroach or quickly. Such were the patterns that were there. We did quite a bit of trial and error.

Only the voice actors for Kate and Emilyko were entirely decided by others

──Did you go to the dubbing location?

We only visited for the first time to say hello. The voice actors went through the performance about 3 times. As we listened to the anime staff's directions without giving any input ourselves, we felt it fit our image. On the other hand, when the voice actors were asked by the director “Is there any part you want to re-record at the end?,” they responded with things like “I want to re-record this part” or “would this part be better like this instead,” one after another amending it. It was also the first time we observed a dubbing session, so we were very impressed.

──Well then, did Soumatou-san have any particular request?

There were one or two scenes where we thought “This doesn’t seem to come through, so we want it like this,” and asked them to redo the intonation. However, because anime has a fixed length, I felt that it was better to leave it to the director to draw out the best performance within that time limit. The rest of the time, it was alright for us to really just watch.

──That’s roughly how I imagined it to be. Well, then, please tell us about the impression you got from the main characters. First , how were Kate’s by Kitou Akira-san and Emilyko’s Sasahara Yuu-san?

The rough images of Kate and Emilyko’s voices in our own heads were just “calm” and “cheerful.” That’s why we were able to express our wishes after the audition for the other characters. However, just for these two, we only said, “Please use the person that fits the best'' and left it for others to decide (laugh). When we heard the audition, our impression was that Sasahara-san would fit Kate’s voice, and Kitou-san would fit Emilyko’s voice. However, when we looked at the results, it turned out to be the other way around. There are differences between the performance they did at the audition and at the start of the dubbing, though now we felt that this way was definitely more fitting.

──The other shadow and living doll pairs are played by one person each. What was your impression when you heard of that?

We stated in the original work that the shadows and living dolls have different voices. However, for the anime, when the idea to have the same person performing the roles was proposed, we told them that “we are looking forward to the voice actors doing their best.” The voices are altered based on vocal ranges, and I think the end result is that you will be able to enjoy the voice actors’ varied performances.

──Currently, the cast for four sets of characters has been announced. Please tell us your impressions about each of them.

Sakai Koudai-san’s duet between the hearty, easily carried away John and the cool-headed Shaun is very amusing. Both characters sound good, and their voices are cute. As for Sakura Ayane-san, she was able to portray the very different atmospheres between the lively Louise and the calm Lou.

──Those two consist of clearly different characters so it might be easy to work with, but I felt that the remaining two seem difficult.

Indeed. Kawashima Reiji-san has to play Patrick and Ricky - two characters whose voices and personalities are quite similar, so we thought it was quite a hard role. However, he was able to perform the roles with the understanding of the fine differences in the character of the two. For Shimoji Shino-san who plays the role of Shirley and Ram, there is a lot of dialogue with the imaginary friend, and she has to portray a different image than that of others. She said that “It’s a type of character that I have never played before,” but her voice fitted perfectly.

The pair’s 20-year relationship

──Well then, let’s move from “Shadows House” and let's hear about you Soumatou san, and your past works. You two work together as a pair, but when did you get to know each other?

We have known each other since when we were students, so it is already a roughly 20-year relationship.

──Why did you two start making manga together?

When Hisshi stopped submitting to manga awards, they no longer drew their own manga and ended up settling down as an assistant. I thought that this was a waste of potential, so when I quit my own job, I told Hisshi that I would write my own stories and asked Hisshi to draw them.

──Afterwards, you seemed to have created doujinshi for a while huh.

Yes. Because Nori normally doesn’t read manga and had not created a manga before, we thought to make a lot of them and send them to publishers. Since around 2008, we made a few and showed them at exhibitions. Afterwards, we were able to thankfully get in touch with Shueisha.

──It sure is amazing that you called out and said that you would “make your own story” even though you had no prior experience. Nori-san, what is it about the manga that Hisshi-san made that drew you in?

The composition is very skillful. To phrase it slightly poorly, even if the story is not that interesting, the skillful composition has the power to make you read from beginning to end. That is why Hisshi was able to receive rewards from various magazines.

──I see.

However, since I’m the type to make a manga from whatever episode or idea I want to draw, I have a good grasp on it, but I’m bad at putting things in order over a long span of time. I can draw one-offs, but they did not lead to serialization at all. It seemed like I was slowly running out of things I wanted to draw.

──How do you two divide the work for making the manga? For example, please teach us the making of a single chapter of “Shadows House.”

Firstly, Nori describes the entire course of events, then after bouncing the ideas off of Hisshi, it’s all put together into the plot. With that as the base, Hisshi makes the mini storyboards, which Nori then uses in the briefing session with the editor. Afterwards, Hisshi draws up the real storyboards, and after another meeting with the editor, we head to the rough draft. Hisshi checks that rough draft, then we work on things like new characters, backgrounds, minor characters and the frontispiece’s design. Then, Hisshi inks a pen sketch while Nori does assistant work around the characters. Finally, Hisshi puts the finishing touches and the manuscript is complete. Also, Nori makes the final adjustments to the dialogue right before submission.

──You sure communicate in great detail.

We think we go back and forth more than others whose original works and drawings are separated. Furthermore, we also consult each other when we come to a standstill in our work.

Both “Kuro” and “Girigiri out” have the same ingredients

──Well then let’s return to “Shadows House”, please tell us how and from where you got the idea for the work.

I was staring at a mannequin at a clothing store when the idea suddenly flashed in my mind. The rest is a mishmash of things such as Hisshi’s specialty of clothes and backgrounds, as well as our shared interest in buildings and everyday life in a strange setting.

──Even if you have come up with the idea, it must take courage to make the main characters pitch black, right?

Mangaka are tasked with doing works like drawing facial expressions, though we wondered whether it was possible to present emotions without facial expressions in “Shadows House.” Nori simply thought that “It can be done in novels, so it should be possible in manga too,” and Hisshi hates drawing characters’ faces (laugh). Hisshi even says that “I just want to draw clothes and backgrounds” all the time. Of course Hisshi tries to draw the characters cutely, but that’s without a spontaneous desire to do so.

──That’s surprising to hear, since in your previous work “Girigiri out”, the charm of the beautiful heroine is pushed to the forefront.

Originally Nori was a graphic designer, and Hisshi was a Mangaka’s assistant, so it was deeply ingrained in us to accede to others’ demands. There wasn’t anything that we could say “We want to draw that!” about as Soumatou. Because of that, basically, we are the type to start by fumbling at themes and genres that the editor has an interest in. From there, we come up with various things, and the engine gradually starts. Moreover, at the serialization meeting, among the three works we submitted, “Girigiri Out” was a discarded idea to give the impression that we were trying our best. We thought that if we submitted three works at the serialization meeting then it could look as if we’re trying our best (laugh). Since we didn’t think of anything aside from the 3 chapters submitted at the meeting, when the time came for the serialization, we were worried about what to draw from there.

──”Girigiri Out” is about a situation surrounding a girl who wets herself when she’s nervous, and a boy with the power to suppress someone’s urge to urinate through touch. Even though you have only thought of 3 chapters, during the serialization, you drew quite a few variations on wetting oneself huh.

Generally speaking, we were motivated to make every chapter a different situation (laugh).

──Furthermore, among your previous works, “Kuro” has parts that felt connected to “Shadows House”, but “Girigiri Out”’s style was surprising. I understand now that it’s a story that started from fumbling about with themes and genres of interest to the editor.

However, maybe it’s hard to notice, but the themes drawn in “Kuro” and “Girigiri Out” have quite a bit in common. Everyday life in a strange setting, strange characters that are not people, restlessness, action, surreal jokes, familial love, release from trauma, folk beliefs… the packaging is different, but “Shadows House” also has roughly those same ingredients.

We want to do a gag manga next, but it might be difficult?

──Please let us hear a bit more about “Shadows House.” The story was carefully foreshadowed from the beginning, but just how far ahead did you plan at the start of the serialization?

Since the beginning we have faintly thought about what happens very far ahead into the future, and from there we flesh it out. However, we don’t know how long each part will take if we haven’t drawn it, and parts do change due to the characters’ relationships. For example, at first we had planned for the Debut to end in about 3 chapters.

──In reality it took a volume and a half. That sure is a big change.

We have a bad habit of putting off thinking about the minute details.

──The garden in the Debut also had such a complicated map that I didn’t think it was planned to end in just 3 chapters.

The person in charge is someone who likes exciting and shounen-like things, so we were told that “If I go to the garden then I want a map of the garden.” Though, since we haven’t thought of anything, we spent the next day making a map of the garden as well as all of the gimmicks (laugh). We feel like without that, the story would have been aimless, so we appreciate the advice.

──It certainly has an exciting adventurous feel to it, so the Debut looks like something that would shine in an anime huh. By the way, when I was reading “Shadows House,” the thing that surprised me the most was how screentone was not used at all. I’m sorry that it’s a simple question, but isn’t that quite difficult?

It normally is difficult (laugh). Originally, for a drawing method that suits the work, we wanted something that is reminiscent of old printed works. It started when Nori, who was simply bored, lightheartedly suggested that “This time let’s use hatching (Method of filling in space using uniform parallel lines).” It limits the range of expressions, so now we do regret it a little bit.

──I will continue to enjoy your wonderful drawings from now on. Lastly, you mentioned that “there wasn’t anything that you wanted to draw as Soumatou,” but when you finish drawing “Shadows House,” please tell us what genre you want to tackle next.

Let’s see… how about gag manga? We originally started with drawing gag manga, and the works submitted together with “Shadows House” at the serialization meeting also had comedy in them. However, the gag portion was so hard to do that the editor was put off by it. It might be difficult, but it would be nice if we could publish it some day (laugh).

#shadows house #shadow house

[miraculouscontent]

Based on your tags there's apparently a new episode called 'Lies.' Do I even WANT to know what its about?

No, but I’m here to provide anyway. :’3

(note that the episode takes place at the same time as “Truth,” with Lies as an akuma coming in right after; funnily enough, this means the scene below with Marinette and the kwami literally can’t exist in the placement that it is; keep that in mind when you realize what they use the end of the scene for because clearly the priority wasn’t on the grimoire, it was to reassure its audience of “something”)

- The episode opens with Marinette in her room and the kwami flying around, complaining to Tikki about how the grimoire doesn’t make any sense (as she apparently does not have the translated version). Tikki insists that it’s normal and that its meanings are hidden on purpose to protect the secret of their powers. Marinette points out that she - a guardian - still can’t understand it, and Tikki assures her that she’ll discover the secret soon like Master Fu did; after all, she helped with the aqua power-up. Marinette is now filled with confidence, but gets distracted when the kwami drop an apple on the keyboard, causing the news to pop up on Marinette’s monitor (how does Marinette’s computer work at this point anyway???).

- Nadja is talking about Paris celebrating Prince Ali’s birthday, but the kwami who dropped the apple swoop down and retrieve the fruit, stepping on the keyboard a bit more in the process. The news swaps to Alec, who is talking about Aaaaaadrien (there it is) and an exclusive report about his life. Marinette chimes in with Adrien’s name and watches as a couple clips are shown where some reporters apparently followed Adrien’s daily life. Marinette sighs about how amazing Adrien’s life is.

- Cut to Adrien coming home. He sets up his phone up as usual to fake that he’s playing piano, then cheers that he’s finally free and says his transformation phrase, much to Plagg’s dismay as he was about to eat some cheese.

- Chat Noir leaps out of his house and across rooftops until he gets to his apparent designated spot for patrol. He calls Ladybug, but she’s not picking up due to not being transformed, so it goes to her answering machine. Chat leaves her a message and tells her that he’s there on time “as usual,” then reminds her that it’s time for patrol and asks if she forgot.

- The scene speeds through Chat Noir idling on the rooftop in various positions until he decides to check his baton for new messages. He has none. He lays back and calls Ladybug again but gets no answer, leaving her a message saying that maybe she has “more important things to do now that she’s the guardian” (intentionally using air quotes on that one). He cheers back up to say that “it’s okay” because he’s the cat for the job and he’ll just start patrol without her, adding that he’ll “see her soon” and to “let him know.”

- Chat Noir leaps elsewhere and sees some kids shouting his name. He hops down, ready for a fight, but it turns out that they just wanted to take his picture. He checks his baton again, but still no messages. The scene then to Chat Noir idling on a bench in the park between “Mister Banana” and Xavier Ramier (”Mister Pigeon”). Chat Noir gives some one-sided banter to Mister Banana, then suddenly turns to Xavier and points out that he hasn’t been akuamtized for a while. Chat Noir then proceeds to egg on a potential akumatization, asking if Xavier misses being Mister Pigeon and then going on to question if he feels any negative emotions. Xavier thanks Chat Noir for worrying but assures him that he’s in an excellent mood that day. Chat Noir, saddened by this, gets up to leave, and Xavier asks him to say “hello” to Ladybug for him. Chat Noir says that he will... “if he sees her one day.” He checks his baton to see that he has no new messages still.

- Cut to Chat Noir idly in a hotel with Chloe’s butler offering him a glass of milk. He asks about Ladybug and points out that she hasn’t shown up a lot lately, to which Chat Noir admits that things have been calm. After drinking his glass of milk, Chat Noir hears shouting and looks over to see Chloe arguing with Sabrina about a bag she’d apparently lost. Sabrina tries to tell Chloe that the bag is still hanging around Chloe’s shoulder, but Chloe cuts Sabrina off and tells her to not to speak to her nor look at her. Chat Noir gets excited at the prospect of an akumatization happening, but Chloe finally notices her bag and gets all happy again. She asks Sabrina why she didn’t say anything and Sabrina tries to point out that Chloe forbade her from speaking, but Chloe insinuates that that’s always the case anyway, again telling Sabrina to hush up. Chat Noir slumps back onto the counter and asks for a larger glass of milk instead.

- Cut to Chat Noir back on a rooftop, having still gotten no messages from Ladybug. Chat Noir calls her and she doesn’t pick up, so he leaves her a message and refers to himself as “the one she stood up,” but cuts himself off when he hears something going on. He peeks over the rooftop to see Kagami fencing with Tomoe. They go back and forth a bit, vagely talking about her becoming better than Adrien, and Kagami assures her mother not to worry because she has what she needs to succeed. Chat Noir smiles and leaves a message for Ladybug that it’s the end of patrol, then leaves.

- Adrien returns home, sad, pulling out his phone and staring sadly at Ladybug’s picture on his lock-screen. Plagg makes an idle comment about “variety” and hovers over Adrien’s picture of the fencing team with him next to Kagami. The scene then cuts to Adrien staring sadly down at two chunks of cheese, one with a red rind and one with a brownish-white rind. Adrien then gets a call from Nathalie informing him that Kagami had called to say that the fencing class schedule had changed again and it’ll be an hour early. Adrien brightens a little and thanks her, then ponders to himself what Kagami is hiding.

- Cut to Kagami in her car listening to Tomoe ramble about how the schedule changes the Agrestes “imposed” are exhausting, then tells Kagami to make the most of it by doing an extra hour of Russian. Kagami agrees and the scene cuts to Adrien listening to Gabriel rambling about how the schedule changes the Tsurugis “imposed” are exhausting, then tells Adrien to not forget to try on an outfit he’d finished for his next photoshoot, which Adrien agrees to.

- Kagami and Adrien enter school together and Fred Haprele is confused, pointing out that their fencing class starts in one hour and D’Argencourt isn’t there yet. Kagami feigns surprise and says that she thought she had the right schedule this time. Fred apologize and starts to say that they can’t stay alone in school, but Kagami finishes the sentence for him and then tells him that it’s no problem and they’ll come back in an hour. As Fred turns back around to continue sweeping the school grounds, Adrien asks Kagami what she’s going to do and Kagami drags him off into the art room.

- Kagami pulls a sketchpad out of her bag and admits that she’s always been passionate about drawing but never told anyone. She talks about how “art never lies” and how poses people do reflect their personalities. She flips through a few pages and Adrien is amazing. Kagami solemnly says that her mother doesn’t let her draw, thinking she’s not good enough, but Adrien chimes in that he thinks Kagami is incredibly talented.

- Kagami pulls Adrien onto the raised platform in the artroom and requests that he pose for her, because she wants to draw him. Adrien asks how she wants him to pose and she tells him to pose with whatever he feels comfortable with. Kagami talks about an artist she admires and adds that she’d liked to draw him like the characters she used to paint, asking idly if Adrien knew that he used to sign his drawings with a Japanese ideogram. She then gets frustrated with her drawing and decides to redo it because it’s “not Adrien.” Adrien asks to see it, but she’s already crumpled it up. Skilling tossing the paper in the garbage without looking, she asks him to make a different pose. She states that it’s easy to make beautiful art of him since he’s beautiful, but she wants to draw the real him; who he is inside.

- Adrien tries a few different poses, with Kagami getting progressively more frustrated and telling him to change each time. She points out that they’re his model poses and reqeusts that he try something more natural. Adrien confidently strikes his Chat Noir transformation pose and Kagami looks unamused. Adrien backpedals and tries to ask what she thinks, but Kagami insists that it’s still not natural. Adrien sadly states that he promises that it’s really him, but Kagami interjects that it’s him when he’s “acting like a clown.” Adrien tries to go on that maybe that’s the real him, to which Kagami approaches, grabs his hand and puts it to his chest, then starts pressing him against the wall (the shot weirdly has a cut when she’s pushing him where his hand is back at his side even though both of her hands are on him, so I have no idea what happened). Kagami insists that this is the real him and Adrien asks if she’s sure, to which Kagami states that she is and that he’s perfect, promptly leaning in for a kiss.

- Their phones then go off, interrupting the one-sided kiss from happening, and Adrien hurried states that it’s actually time for fencing now. He’s seen smiling on the way out and Kagami as well.

- Cut to fencing practice. At one point, Kagami lifts her helmet to kiss Adrien’s helmet, then Adrien raises his helmet for them to kiss (mutually this time). However, Adrien hears birds and looks over to see Ladybug chasing a flock of clearly-controlled pigeons from beyond the school doors (i.e: Mister Pigeon is back, who Chat Noir had hoped to get akumatized earlier; the one who is now interrupting Marinette and Luka’s movie date+kiss since “Lies” takes place at roughly the same time). He makes a quick excuse about forgetting something in the locker room and leaves, though Kagami just smiles at it for now.

- Cut to Chat Noir leaping up a building and seeing Ladybug, at which point we get a reused clip from Truth, so I’m just going to copy from my episode summary of that:

- Ladybug is listening to a message from Chat Noir that she presumably got earlier, stating that he’s ready for patrol. While she’s listening, Chat Noir sneaks up and pranks/surprises her, to which she grabs his wrist and yeets him off into the distance. Realizing what she did, she yoyos him back and he slams into the window. She scolds him because she could’ve hurt him and Chat Noir states that “the only thing that hurts him is when she leaves him alone for patrols” and how he “even missed her angry looks.” She reminds him that she’s been busy and he says that he knows because she’s guardian now. Ladybug promises not to forget patrol again and they go off to fight Mister Pigeon.

- The scene cuts away to Adrien rushing to Kagami at Andre’s ice cream stand (Luka has just walked away). Adrien and Kagami are about to enjoy their ice cream when Adrien sees a sentimonster that Ladybug is in the middle of fighting. Adrien tells Kagami that he has to go home because his father must be worried, then rushes off. Kagami stares sadly down at her ice cream.

- The scene cuts to Adrien, Alya, and Nino leaving school while Marinette is riding away with Luka on his bike. Marinette waves good-bye to them and they wave back, but Luka gets a message from Kagami and quickly hurries into his car before reading the message. Kagami’s car pulls up beside his and they both put their windows down to kiss, but Adrien sees Ladybug chasing an akuma and hurriedly tells Kagami that he forgot something in class, assuring that he’d call her later. Kagami looks upset and tells her driver to drive off.

- The scene then cuts to Kitty Section and Adrien playing together with Kagami, Marinette, and the others watching. They finish and get cheered for, after which Nino approaches Adrien and says that he filmed it all and the concert was great. Adrien rejects the compliment because he missed the intro, but Ivan and Rose reassure him that they can just play again. Kagami interrupts to say that it’s time to go, then shakes her head when Adrien asks for a few more minutes. Adrien promises Nino that he’ll do better next time, then walks off with Kagami.

- While going across the gangplank together, Kagami takes Adrien’s hand, which surprises him and causes him to drop his belongings. They pick them up together and smile at each other, but Marinette’s lucky charm bracelet slips out of Adrien’s pocket when he goes to get up. Kagami sees it as they’re leaving and picks it up.

- Adrien notices that their rides aren’t here yet and laments that they could’ve played one more song. Kagami comments that they at least get to spend more time together, but Adrien tells her not to worry because they’ll have enough time together when they go to Prince Ali’s birthday party. Kagami grabs his hand and corrects that she meant time where it’s only the two off them, then starts talking about how happy she is with him and how she thinks they’re very similar. However, Adrien sees Ladybug off in the distance and gets distracted, meaning that - when Kagami asks him if he feels the same - he’s not paying attention. Kagami realizes this and turns to look at what Adrien is looking at, but there’s nothing there. Adrien apologizes and claims that he saw a wasp. Kagami tries again to ask him if he loves her back, but Adrien still isn’t paying attention, asking what she was saying. Kagami asks him what’s the matter and Adrien claims that he lost something on the boat when his bag fell, telling Kagami not to wait for him. Kagmai, disappointed, gets into her car that’s just arrived and requests to be taken to the town hall.

- Adrien goes in front of a building and lets Plagg come out. Plagg talks about how he hopes they’re still going to the prince’s birthday since the best cheese is served when there are big ceremonies, but Adrien states that Ladybug needs him right now and transforms. He checks his messages and is told by Ladybug that Hawk Moth merged his powers with the peacock to become Shadow Moth. He then goes to the Liberty, where Truth is there asking Ladybug what her identity is, having already shot Ladybug and captured her under Pharo’s spotlight. Chat Noir cuts in and takes Ladybug into the water with him.

- Meanwhile, Kagami arrives at the town hall, where Andre (the mayor) is wishing Prince Ali a happy brithday. Tomoe reminds Kagami that she agreed with Gabriel that Kagami would come with Adrien and Kagami covers for him, stating that Adrien is answering questions from journalists. Kagami is then seen sitting on the stairs outside, staring sadly at the lucky charm in her hand.

- Cut to nighttime and a reused scene from “Truth:”

- Ladybug and Chat Noir hop up to a roof and Chat comments on how much fun he had. Ladybug describes what just happened and is like if that’s fun for you then yeah. Chat idles on Shadow Moth’s name and Ladybug shows confidence that they’ll catch him in the end, after which they banter a bit and Chat Noir tells her that it’s “only with her that he can have so much fun.”

- Adrien returns and tells Kagmai that he hopes he didn’t make her wait too long. Kagami, the lucky charm behind her back, says that she hopes that Adrien found what he was looking for. Adrien is confused and Kagami reminds him of what he’d said. Adrien hurriedly states that he found it and thanks her. Kagami asks him what it was and Adrien says that it was a lucky charm that Marinette gave to him, but when he goes to pull it out, realizes that he’d actually lost it. He tries to claim that he lost it “again,” but Kagami finally pulls out the lucky charm and shows it to him. Dread washes over Adrien’s face as he realizes the lie he’s been caught in.

- Kagami confesses that she’s lied to, having lied to her mother so they could see each other, even lied that he came with her tonight, and lied during their fencing classes so she can spend more time with him. Hurt, she points out that they’re both liars, but that the difference is that she lies to be with him and he lies to get away from her. She turns away and opens the town hall door to leave, and when Adrien tries to call out to her, she states that she’d rather be alone and shuts the door behind her.

- Shadow Moth appears and summons his akuma, sending it out to the sad Kagami. He offers her the power to rid the world of liars in exchange for the miraculouses, to which Kagami agrees. Adrien opens the door just in time to see the new akuma, Lies, and see her start to form an orb of light around her. Adrien shuts the door and lets out Plagg, stating that this is his fault and he has to save Kagami.

- Meanwhile, Jagged Stone is playing for Prince Ali while Penny is trying to stop Fang from eating the cake on the table. Lies’ orb of light then shines through the door, shocking everyone as they step back in fear. Roger pulls out his taser and demands to know what’s going on, to which Lies asks if he’s ever lied. Roger claims that a policeman never lies, but Lies states that he’s lying and Roger gets engulfed in the light, making him freeze in place. Lies then refers to Tomoe as “Mother” and asks if she’s ever lied. Tomoe realizes it’s Kagami and starts to say that she didn’t permit her to--then Tomoe gets engulfed and also frozen. The others start to get engulfed as well and Chat Noir enters, almost calling Lies “Kagami” before catching himself and telling her to stop. Lies comments that Chat is a new candidate for a lie detector test, and Chat Noir tells her that he’s not lying when he tells her that he’ll free her from Shadow Moth.

- Jagged chimes in to say that he’ll help. Chat tells him to go hide but Jagged insists that he fears nothing. Bob Roth pops into view to say that Jagged lies about his age, at which point Jagged is shocked and tells him that it’s not very rock n’ roll to--then he gets engulfed too.

- Chat Noir escapes through a window and Lies goes on about a world without lies wouldn’t need superheroes like Chat Noir. Chat Noir considers Cataclysming the sphere, but Ladybug shows up, yoyoing his hand and stating that touching the phere will paralyze him. Chat Noir tells her that it won’t if you’ve never lied, to which Ladybug asks him if he never has. Chat admits that it’s not the case and they back away from the light together. Chat asks if Ladybug has never lied and she tells him that she obviously has because they have to lie at least to keep their identities a secret, adding that if they touch the sphere, nothing will stop it from taking over Paris.

- Ladybug uses Lucky Charm and gets a box with an entire drone inside. She states that they can’t go inside, but a drone can’t lie so it can. She tells Chat Noir to be a distraction while she sends in the drone, and they take out their earpiece communication devices to keep in touch.

- Chat Noir goes to distact Lies, shouting a bunch of things that clearly aren’t true. Ladybug sends her drone inside while Shadow Moth tells Lies to go after Chat Noir and retrieve his miraculous, to which Lies says that she won’t go back on her word and liars always pay for their mistakes.

- Ladybug saw the bracelet and tells Chat that she knows that the akumatized object is. Chat Noir tells her to break it but Ladybug states that she doesn’t know how to without touching it. Chat Noir admits that only a person who’s never lied can enter the sphere and such a person doesn’t exist, but Ladybug sees that Fang is still moving and gets an idea, her Lucky Vision highlighting the cake, Fang, and the device she’s seeing the drone’s vision through. She tells Chat Noir that Fang is an animal, so it doesn’t know how to lie. Chat Noir says it’s great thinking and Ladybug uses the drone to pick up each individual slice of cake, using one of the cakes to coax Fang and make him free himself from Penny’s leash.

- Ladybug lures Fang all across Paris while Chat Noir flees from Lies’ orb of light. Chat Noir climbs up a building and uses his baton to hoist himself even higher, but he’s trapped himself now. Ladybug states that, if Lies sees the drone coming, the plan goes bust, to which Chat Noir says that there are only two liars left in Paris and only one of them can turn her attention. Ladybug immediately catches onto what he’s about to do and tells him not to, asking what they’ll do if she’s wrong. Chat Noir simply states that he trusts her, letting go of his baton and falling towards the orb of light. Ladybug states that he’s crazy and he simply states that he’s “crazy for her,” promptly falling into the orb of light. Ladybug laments his unconsciousness and the scene cuts to inside the orb, where Lies finds Chat Noir on the ground. Ladybug urges the drone to hurry and sends it inside the orb of light alongside Fang.

- Lies starts removing Chat Noir’s ring and is halfway there when a slice of cake drops next to her. She’s confused and Fang enters, chomping down on the cake and the bracelet in the process. The akuma is freed and Kagami gets de-akumatized, Shadow Moth shouting in dismay at the loss. Ladybug purifies the akuma and casts Miraculous Ladybug, leading to Chat Noir waking up to Fang licking the side of his face. He recoils and Ladybug charges at him, slamming her fists against his chest and yelling at him, stating that he needs to stop doing these sorts of things. Chat Noir boops her and states that, yeah, but he does it because he finds that “angry little pout” of hers absolutely irresistable. Ladybug squints/glares at him, but is smiling.

- The two fist bump and the scene cuts away to Adrien de-transforming in an alley, leading against a wall and sighing out Ladybug’s name. Plagg states that he understands the romance of it as - even though he loves every type of cheese - he always comes back to his favorite, camembert. Adrien gives Plagg a slice in response and Plagg eats it.

- Cut to the next day, where Kagami and Adrien are fencing. Kagami fences him off the mat and against a pole, getting a little violent in the process, but D’Argencourt cuts in to say that they’re there for fencing, not solving personal problems. The scene then cuts to Adrien and Kagami in the locker room, where Adrien apologizes for hurting her, but adds that all the good times they shared weren’t lies. Kagami states that she knows he’s hiding something, but that there’s also sincerity in him. Adrien asks if they can’t be friends anymore and Kagami cuts in to ask how she could trust someone who lied to her. She gives Adrien back Marinette’s lucky charm, then picks up her bag, stating that she’ll let him know when she’s ready to see him again. Adrien stares sadly at the lucky charm in his hand and the scene cuts away to Chat Noir and Ladybug on the rooftops.

- Chat Noir tells Ladybug that the difference between them and the rest of the world is that they can’t be completely honest; that they have their secrets and have to lie. They both look solemn at this, then suddenly brighten and turn to each other, stating that they know they can at least trust each other.

- They fist bump and the episode ends.

#((If this episode doesn't make you mad at Chat Noir then nothing will.)) #category: episode summaries #episode: Lies #other: ask and answer #other: ml spoilers #((Didn't beta this but we die like Chat Noir sacrificing himself for the millionth damn time.))

[jupitersson]

So this is a little ~idea~ that I thought up a bit ago and, with the help of the crew of our MG discord, we were able to flesh out a bit of a new au for y’all. Special attention goes to @ifthebookdoesntsell, hope this makes your day a little better.

If I knew more about flipping houses and Youtube, maybe I’d write a fic of this, but here’s an outline for an au where rejanis flip houses on their Youtube channel: Homo-owners

Background:

Janis and Regina probably met in their mid-20s. The former went to college for civil engineering while the latter went for interior design, and their skills were both needed for an upcoming job for a kind, wealthy couple looking to build their dream home.

Through weeks and weeks of working together, discussing (arguing) and reworking their designs to suit the couples needs, they found themselves growing closer. They kept their feelings to themselves, not wanting to complicate their work, but once the job was done, Regina asked Janis out, and that was the start of their relationship.

They spent some time continuing the work they were doing, but eventually they decided that they could be putting their skills to use elsewhere: flipping houses.

The first few houses go well, and at some point Regina suggests they start a Youtube channel to start documenting their work.

“It’s like a really low budget HGTV show.”

“Low budget?”

“Well, lower than the budget of an HGTV show is relative.”

They struggle to name the channel, after Janis agrees to doing it, so they enlist the help of their friends to come up with as punny a name as they can.

After many failed puns, Karen manages to be heard over the chorus of bad gay jokes with what becomes the name of their channel, and later their brand: Homo-owners.

Main Fic:

The premise of the fic would probably be how their relationship evolves outside of the walls of their own home, and instead in the houses they’re flipping.

The first part would probably be their first set of videos for a specific house. It’s a little awkward, but Regina’s a natural on camera and Janis just needs to get used to explaining to the camera why it’s important that windows are a certain size and rooms are certain dimensions. They probably make a joke about how they wanted to call themselves the Property Lesbians but Regina was worried about copyright infringement.

The second part would be their first “I love you” inside a house, which they actually catch on camera. It’s probably been several months of being together, now, and it’s demo day for a certain house. Janis is filming Regina being cute (she’s wearing Janis’ clothes because all of hers are “too nice to get all dusty”) while wielding the sledgehammer, and it’s a really quick “God, I love you” from Janis. Regina ends up setting the hammer down and running up to Janis, smushing the camera between them and muffling the sounds of them kissing, but not her own reply of “I love you too, baby.”

Janis is half tempted to cut it out, but then she thinks that it’d be nice to have a video of this very special moment, so she leaves it in. It’s nice to go back to, sometimes.

The comments go fucking wild and it quickly becomes their most popular video.

The third part is probably a fight, sad as it is. The house they’ve been working on flipping has been expensive and incredibly problematic, and they’re almost close to abandoning it for being too much of a money sink. Regina’s being extra snippy and tense to the point that she snaps at Janis when she has to redo her designs because Janis found another problem. It turns into an entire production in front of their crew, both of them making more than a few personal jabs, until Regina storms out in tears and Janis just stands in the middle of the half-constructed house, pissed off and crying.

The fourth part would go over the tension between the couple as they finally finish up the problem house, mostly because both of them are too proud to apologize for getting frustrated and blowing up at each other. Janis doesn’t think it’s her fault and Regina’s reluctant to be first to say she’s sorry, even if she did start it. Eventually, they finish the house, and that’s when Regina finally breaks and apologizes for getting mad at Janis (and the cheap shots) when it wasn’t her fault. Janis apologizes for returning the anger instead of trying to de-escalate the situation, and they promise to talk through their feelings in a calm, mature way in the future, and to not let their work affect them to the point of hurting their relationship.

The fifth part would be… probably a good few years into flipping. They’ve blown up on Youtube, and Janis is finally ready to pop the question, so she grabs the camera and figures that the rest of their relationship progress is immortalized in film, why not the proposal. She details an entire plan of leading Regina through a property they’re thinking of buying into a completely decorated backyard, complete with fairy lights and roses. She has a cameraman hide on the sidelines while another follows them through the house. Regina makes all her usual comments (“Oh! Wouldn’t a window ledge be so nice here, baby? Put some pillows in there, have some tea!”) and Janis nods and smiles along before leading her to the backyard. Regina is stunned, and she walks into the center and turns in a circle before finally seeing Janis kneeling with the ring out. Janis gives a little speech that the camera can’t quite pick up, but everyone can see the way Regina’s crying as she nods.

The comments, again, go fucking crazy for the way Regina drags Janis up into a kiss, and then the way Janis picks Regina up and spins her around dramatically.

The sixth and final part would be post-wedding. It’s just a quick little thing, probably an Instagram story from Regina (because Janis cannot be trusted to run the Instagram). She’s a little teary, but smiling, and she says she has something she needs to tell Janis, but that she wants them to be there too. She keeps filming herself as she walks into the living room (immaculately decorated, as expected from them) and gets Janis’ attention. Janis immediately asks why she’s crying, and Regina just whispers, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s almost a recreation of their first “I love you” when Janis crushes the camera between them to hurriedly kiss Regina and express her happiness. It’s wholesome that way.

Anyways~ this is just my preliminary thoughts. I’m pretty pleased with this idea, and I wanna give special thanks to crew (you know who y’all are, I’m not @ing each and every one of you) and Ellis for asking me to give my further thoughts on this AU! Hope y’all liked this!

If you wanna drop an AU/scenario into my askbox and get an outline/bullet fic/headcanons, go ahead! I think these are fun!

#wolf barks #rejanis #mean girls musical #headcanons #outlines

[muffinrecord]

Archive Progress Report: 9/8/2020

I ended up taking the night off socially, but not for recording.

I’m having a lot of technical difficulties with the main story and now with the remaining magical girl side stories. I record via iphone and need to use an app called Handbrake afterwards to sync up the audio, but recently the audio simply isn’t syncing correctly at all, which is real obnoxious. TBH, if you can’t tell, I’m not very good at any of this and am sort of learning on the fly. Luckily, my remaining videos to work on are:

Madoka Kimono 

Kyoko Swimsuit (Leaf is helping me with this)

Hanna Sarasa (Weather-cluddy will be helping me with this one)

Ayame Mikuri

Ryo Midori

Sayuki Fumino (a real life friend will be recording this for me)

So I’m pretty close to done! Phew!

Next I’m working on finalizing all the quote videos. I actually don’t have much left to do here! Like I’ve mentioned before, Kizmin has recorded a ton of videos for me (in super high quality too)-- and with the characters I have, and @leafbladie‘s help, I actually have mostly everyone covered.

Here is some stuff waiting to go up on youtube...

And here are the quotes that need to be edited + exported. 

A few of these (from friends) are in a different format from what I can use, so I have to work on them in VLC Media Player first. I’ve been procrastinating on this part for a bit but I’m going to woman up soon and get it done.

After I finish with the MSS and the quotes, I’m going to work on the main story. Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, I’m having technical difficulties and all the footage I recorded a week ago was corrupted somehow, so I need to redo it. This has kind of... made me not want to work on it, which is why I’ve been focusing on MSS and easy event stuff. But!!! It’s time to stop avoiding it and get to work.

I’m going to continue to sprinkle in events here and there, but I’m going to let you all know RIGHT NOW that the last things I’ll be working on are the branching style events, so the Azaleas, See You Tomorrow, ect. These are really frustrating to record because of all the different paths and the different choices you can make in-story-- I’m going by the archive, but it still wants you to make choices and sometimes my dumbass brain is too tired to figure things out, if that makes sense. x_x 

I feel like the event stories are well documented online though, and I do still have lots of time... So it’ll all go up there, eventually.

Events being worked on:

Azaleas Bloom

Christmas at Mikazuki Villa

New Years at Mizuna Shrine

Mirrors Ranking (easy peasy)

The Maiden of Hope

See You Tomorrow

FM Kamihama

MIT Mitama

Cross Connection

Voices From Beyond

Breakpoint

Summer with Mikazuki Villa

Nagisa’s Wish

Wings in the Wind

Alina is Coming to Town

Mitama’s Festive Feast

Endless Beginnings

Cherry Blossom Dreams

A Fledgeling First Flight

Magia Clash

One Fleeting Summer Night

Rebel of a Dawnless Land

Summer Treasures

A New Beginning

The Flowers’ Lament

400 Day Release Celebration

Kamihama Joy Service

I might do Breakpoint next because it was one of my favorite events and it might be a nice break. haahahaha. get it. break. break? I’m breaking apart myself, how are you guys?

I’d also like to give a MASSIVE shoutout to @leafbladie for having helped me so long with all the quote videos and with everything else. He has been so helpful and amazing this whole time. ;_; I want to plug the Ashley Taylor Memoria Collage/Zine Project (@ashleytaylormemoria​) real quick-- check it out and maybe try submitting stuff too :) I’ll be making an art piece for it as well! Winx (@thefairywithdrawings​) is also involved and overseeing all the design work.

I think that’s one of the nicest things going on right now... a lot of folks have different fan projects going on and are working together to make the best of a bad situation.

Future Plans

When the archive recording project is done, I want to write up a few posts on starting over on JP and how to use SE effectively. I know that there is a lot of really helpful (and frankly better) content out there already, but I still would like to add to it.

I mentioned before, but I do intend to start up the memoria review project up again, but that’ll be after everything else as well.

Tentatively... I might also make a unit review blog as well, which will go over characters and their various niches, along with a look into their SE, connects, ect. But that will be a whiles off from now and will require a ton of research.

Uhh I think that’s it! Thanks again for all of you guys’ support. I get overwhelmed easily and am not taking the whole situation well, but I’m trying to focus on my goals. It helps that the fandom is collectively working together right now. 

See you until next time!

#Muffin Record #Magia Record #Long Post #Archive Progress Report

[nataschasfm]

            hello  everyone  ,  i’m  lia  !  i’m  21+  ,  prefer  she / they  pronouns  ,  reside  in  the  est  timezone  ,  and  i’m  super  stoked  to  be  here  !  i  have  been  wanting  to  write  out  an  older  muse  for  quite  some  time  now  ,  and  i’m  really  happy  that  i  stumbled  upon  manhattan  at  like  ...  4am  the  other  day  !  i  won’t  bore  you  with  my  own  intro  because  i’m  incapable  of  condensing  my  writing  (  a  true  lover  of  details  )  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  message  me  on  discord  if  that’s  the  best  place  for  you  when  it  comes  to  plotting  ,  or  we  can  keep  it  in  the  im’s  !  i  will  admit  to  natascha  being  a  relatively  new  muse  ,  so  please  excuse  me  for  any  kinks  i  may  work  out  as  time  progresses  ,  but  i  can’t  wait  to  read  everyone’s  intros  and  plot with  your  amazing  muses  !

            bae  joohyun  .  cis  female  .  she  /  her  //  you  don’t  know  ?  that’s  NATASHA  SUH  !  they’re  a  THIRTY  year  old  fashion  stylist  and  entrepreneur  from  OJAI  ,  CALIFORNIA  .  as  part  of  manhattan’s  elite  ,  the  amaranth  is  known  to  be  POISED  &  OBTRUSTIVE  .  most  people  recognize  them  by  trying  on  ten  outfits  before  picking  the  first  ,  the  sound  of  luxurious  suitcase  wheels  on  airport  floors  ,  the  soft  scent  of  vanilla  lingering  in  shower  steam  ,  and  the  gentle  sparkle  in  her  eyes  when  she  gets  what  she  wants  .

NAME  :  natascha  suh  .

NICKNAME(S)  :  sascha  ,  primarily  .  nat  and  tasch  .

AGE  +  DOB  :  thirty  +  february  19th  ,  1990  .

HEIGHT  :  5′2″  .

ASTROLOGICAL  SIGN  :  pisces  .

MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  chaotic  good  .

GENDER  +  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  +  she  /  her  /  hers  .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH  :  ojai  ,  california  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  

OCCUPATION  :  fashion  stylist  and  entrepreneur  .

NATIONALITY  :  korean - american  .

ETHNICITY  :  korean  .

LANGUAGES  SPOKEN  :  english  ,  korean  ,  and  conversational  japanese  .

background  .

natascha  grew  up  in  the  beautiful  ojai  ,  california  to  a  neurosurgeon  of  a  father  and  a  yoga  instructor  /  stay  at  home  wife  of  a  mother  .  on  one  hand  ,  natascha’s  home  life  was  very  comfortable  ,  but  she  also  never  really  knew  what  she  wanted  to  be  when  she  grew  up  .  at  three  ,  she  would  have  said  that  she  wanted  to  be  a  princess  .  at  thirteen  ,  she  would  have  said  she  wanted  to  be  a  lawyer  (  much  to  the  dismay  of  her  father  )  ,  but  she  didn’t  really  know  what  she  wanted  to  do  until  she  was  sixteen  and  tasked  with  the  responsibility  of  her  first  car  .

given  a  1995  volvo  850  ,  she  was  suddenly  tasked  with  paying  for  maintenance  and  her  portion  of  the  insurance  .  as  most  sixteen  year  olds  did  in  2006  ,  she  went  out  and  nabbed  herself  a  job  at  the  local  mall  .  during  that  time  ,  it  was  eight  hours  of  work  a  day  to  pay  for  her  most  prized  possession  ,  but  natascha  also  fell  in  love  with  clothes  .  sure  ,  she  had  a  closet  full  of  pieces  that  she  adored  ,  but  she  never  had  an  appreciation  for  what  went  into  styling  .

so  ,  as  she  worked  at  various  stores  in  the  mall  (  she  worked  at  three  up  until  she  was  nineteen  )  ,  she  learned  what  it  took  to  style  the  mannequins  after  begging  each  one  of  her  managers  to be  tasked  with  the  job  .  she  was  always  working  her  hardest  to  show  off  what  she  knew  ,  but  in  the  beginning  it  wasn’t  so  easy  .  she  was  often  told  to  redo  something  ,  to  take  away  a  certain  accessory  ,  or  to  change  the  outfit  all  together  .    

natascha  slowly  worked  her  way  to  becoming  a  stylist  at  neiman  marcus  when  she  was  twenty  ,  but  she  didn’t  want  to  leave  it  there  .  so  ,  natascha  went  off  to  attend  the  academy  of  art  university  where  she  obtained  an  associate’s  in  fashion  styling  .  while  there  ,  it  took  a  lot  of  time  networking  with  various  people  ,  attending  a  ton  of  social  events  ,  and  juggling  a  full  time  job  post  graduation  to  get  the  dream  she  was  hoping  to  obtain  .  natascha  spent  a  lot  of  time  telling  little  white  lies  to  her  parents  about  being  okay  ,  when  in  reality  ,  she  was  constantly  overwhelmed  .

it  took  about  two  years  of  grinding  nonstop  before  natascha  encountered  a  photographer  ,  and  said  photographer  helped  her  land  a  dream  job  :  styling  a  shoot  for  british  vogue  .  next  thing  you  know  ,  she  was  on  a  flight  to  london  about  to  do  what  she  loved  .  a  few  months  later  ,  natascha  nabbed  one  of  the  magazines  from  her  local  bookseller  ,  and  she  was  brought  to  tears  when  she  saw  her  name  published  in  a  true  magazine  .

this  was  only  the  start  ,  because  soon  ,  her  phone  was  ringing  off  of  the  hook  and  she  was  only  twenty - five  !  while  she  loved  styling  for  magazines  ,  natascha  eventually  moved  into  personal  styling  because  she  loved  helping  people  fall  in  love  with  clothes  ,  but  also  helping  them  feel  good  in  their  clothes  .  thanks  to  the  introduction  of  instagram  ,  natascha  was  reaching  more  people  and  able  to  network  much  easier  ,  so  here  she  was  officially  building  a  brand  .  

natascha  was  twenty - seven  when  she  officially  purchased  a  showroom  ,  and  she  was  once  again  moved  to  tears  when  natascha  suh  style  lit  up  on  the  neon  sign  .  she  was  proud  to  see  her  styling  be  posted  on  instagrams  and  on  twitter  ,  being  tagged  and  praised  for  her  work  .  all  of  natascha’s  hard  work  paid  off  as  she  was  soon  being  invited  to  sit  front  row  during  fashion  month  ,  (  and  because i’m  obsessed  with  those  pictures  )  ,  she  was  invited  to  be  the  face  of  miu  miu  !  

currently  ,  natascha  has  her  showroom  in  the  city  ,  where  she  works  primarily  on  personal  styling  ,  but  she  still  styles  for  certain  fashion  shows  and  magazines  .  she’s  worked  with  various  brands  in  the  past  (  and  because  i  love  me  some  badgalriri  )  and  now  she  works  as  a  stylist  with  fenty  !

temperament  .

very  outspoken  and  she  wants  to  be  in  your  business  !  likes  to  gossip  ,  but  doesn’t  really  care  to  know  all  of  your  business  .  generally  ,  she’s  really  chatty  .  she’s  the  kind  of  woman  who  knows  better  than  to  tote  people’s  business  if  they’re  only  sharing  it  with  her  .

can  be  quite  dignified  in  the  sense  that  she  can  sometimes  carry  herself  with  her  nose  in  the  air  ,  but  she’s  not  super  snooty  by  any  means  .  she  carries  herself  as  such  because  in  her  career  ,  it’s  all  about  what  and  who  you  know  .  

she  can  be  quite  dramatic  at  times  and  sometimes  she  doesn’t  even  notice  that  she’s  doing  it  .  sometimes  she  complains  a  lot  and  can  sound  really  bratty  at  times  ,  but  that’s  just  how  she  is  .  overall  ,  though  ,  she’s  very  fun - loving  and  always  looking  to  have  a  good  time  .  natascha  and  drama  DO  NOT  mix  ,  but  she’s  not  going  to  pretend  like  she  doesn’t  have  any  /  hasn’t  had  any  in  her  life  .  

headcanons  .

natascha  grew  up  in  a  slightly  unconventional  home  ,  and  that’s  stuck  with  her  even  until  now  !  she  may  live  in  the  city  ,  but  she’s  always  looking  for  that  laidback  flair  that  ojai  is  known  for  .  her  apartment  is  littered  with  greenery  ,  and  it’s  not  unheard  of  for  her  to  whip  out  a  yoga  mat  from  behind  the  couch  .  

she’s  very  into  her  home  being  her  relaxed  space  ,  and  she  specifically  likes  to  keep  her  home  and  work  life  separate  .  her  showroom  is  very  colorful  and  loud  because  of  all  of  the  colors  and  the  clothes  everywhere  ,  but  her  apartment  is  full  of  earthy  tones  and  really  a  place  of  comfort  .

her  love  language  is  cooking  meals  together  and  remembering  what  she  may  have  told  you  !  as  aforementioned  ,  she’s  very  much  a  chatty  kathy  so  if  you  remember  what  she’s  told  you  in  the  middle  of  her  ramblings  then  she’ll  love  you  forever  .

designer  lover  from  head  to  toe  !  although  i  will  say  that  she  likes  her  lower  end  pieces  as  well  .  definitely  known  for  pairing  inexpensive  jeans  with  thousand  dollar  boots  and  things  of  the  sort  .  to  her  ,  it’s  all  about  looking  good  at  the  end  of  the  day  .

most  comfortable  in  her  apartment  where  she  can  let  her  hair  down  and  she  doesn’t  have  to  wear  pants  !  come  to  her  house  when  she’s  done  with  work  and  chances  are  she’s  wearing  her  pajamas  and  trying  out  of  the  mountains  of  makeup  that  she’s  been  sent  .  so  ,  don’t  be  surprised  if  she  answers  the  door  taking  off  a  deep  berry  lipstick  or  shimmering  eyeshadow  .

#mhqs:intro #i'm so LATE but i did it guys pls be proud of me :pleading:

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

Hi, I've decided to make Mowgli's wolf parents their own characters, named Nisha and Vihaan, with Akela as the leader and grandfatherly mentor to Mowgli. Are their any sequels you think are better than the first movie? For me, All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 is much better that the original. Are their any relationships in Trollhunters that you feel could've been explored, ie, Claire and Draal? And how would you have done Troll!Jim and the final battle with Gunmar?-The Sapphire One.

I’m happy for you, making so much progress on your fanfic.

I would prefer if, in the future, you directed any further requests for advice on your Jungle Book fic to someone who is actually in the Jungle Book fandom, though? I’ve been trying to be courteous and supportive, but it’s getting exhausting to devote so much mental and emotional energy to determining, “what can I say that is helpful but also gently conveys I am not interested in discussing this topic further?”, especially since I don’t seem to be successfully conveying the ‘polite disinterest’ part.

When I have said, repeatedly, that I am not invested in The Jungle Book, what I mean is that it’s an okay story and I have nothing in particular against it, but it is not a fandom that I am in, and therefore fanfiction for it is not fanfiction I am inclined to read or discuss. I would rather devote my time and energy to stories and fandoms in which I do have an emotional investment.

I wish you good fortune in continuing this project and hope it finds the audience it deserves on whichever platform you choose to share it.

+=+

The All Dogs Go To Heaven duo is a neat one because each movie appeals to me in different ways.

The sequel had stronger music. “Let Me Be Surprised”and “It’s Too Heavenly Here” convey the same ideas, but “It’s Too Heavenly Here” has a lot more energy, possibly because Charlie’s had more time to go stir-crazy.

I respect the first one for not shoehorning in a romantic subplot with all the other plot lines they were already working with, but I respect the second one for introducing new elements a bit more cohesively - I mean, the alligator in the first one basically showed up out of nowhere. He did eat Carface in the end, so he was plot-significant, but he was still really jarring - so jarring a whole trope got named after the Big-Lipped Alligator Moment.

The timeline between movies is a bit confusing? I think the first one is set in the 1920s, or maybe the 50s. I’m basing this on partially car designs but cutting out the 10s, 30s, and 40s due to lack of mention of the Great Depression or either World War. But the second one, based on the humans’ clothing, looks like it’s in the 1980s, maybe 90s? So, unless dogs have a natural lifespan similar to a human one in this universe, it’s weird that the second movie starts when Itchy dies. (He’s be thirty, or seventy, depending on which of my time period guesses are right.) I guess there could also be a long time-skip between “It’s Too Heavenly Here” and Carface stealing Gabriel’s horn.

Overall I’ve found movie sequels tend to be lesser than or equal to the original movie. Shrek 2, for example, was really good, but I wouldn’t say it was better than Shrek.

Cinderella 3: A Twist In Time was exceptional, with how the writer’s took advantage of the opportunity to expand on the prince’s character - although he still doesn’t get a name - and Cinderella’s character as well, along with the different specific reasons her stepfamily was jealous and vengeful. (Lady Tremaine wanted the social status, Drizella wanted wealth, and Anastasia wanted emotional security.)

TV series, on the other hand, are often a bit stronger in their second season than the first, because they don’t have to introduce how the setting’s culture or magic/high tech system works unless something new is happening, and likewise they don’t have to introduce new characters every episode or two in order to build the initial main cast, and the main themes and conflicts of the series have been set up.

+=+

Draal’s relationships with everybody could have been expanded on. We don’t really see relationship development between him and anyone else other than Jim and Kanjigar’s ghost. There are some minor scenes showing him getting closer with AAARRRGGHH and Blinky, too, but that got cut off by Draal getting brainwashed before the audience got to see much of it.

You know who else didn’t get many relationships developed? Barbara.

There is exactly one scene, a one-sided phone conversation in Season 3, which implies she has a social life. Also, what is the relationship between her and Nana Domzalski? Jim and Toby are close, and their families live across the street, and Barbara addresses her as Nana, so clearly they’ve met, and yet Barbara never spoke to Nana on-camera in Season 1 about her concerns after Jim and Toby got arrested together and Jim started ‘acting different’?

And furthermore [insert rant about how Stricklake was fumbled in Season 3].

… Not to mention Blinky! She’s friendly with him when he gets turned human and Jim passes him off as a guidance counselor, but their very limited interactions do not explain why she was willing to let Jim go off to New Jersey with the trolls and didn’t even suggest she come along, basically temporarily turning custody of Jim over to Blinky when Barbara and Blinky have had all of one on-screen conversation since she got her memories back.

+=+

Okay, final battle redo, gotta keep Jim a troll …

First of all, Troll!Jim is a klutz. He just went through a massive growth spurt and hasn’t had time to adjust yet. It is acknowledged by him and others (though probably not Merlin), “Wow, this was a really bad idea to do right before getting into a fight, Jim is nearly back to beginner skill-level. At least he’s fast and therefore better at dodging, and can take a hit better.”

Alternately, shuffle everything around so that Jim turns into a troll by S3E6, so the audience has half the season to get used to him, because I think having Jim get trolled right before the final battle is one of the reasons Troll!Jim ended up being such a controversial character.

Either way, the Trollhunters fight Gunmar as a group.

Gunmar is facing Jim. Toby, using the Warhammer to fly, sneaks up behind Gunmar and hits him over the head. Gunmar reaches for Toby, but Blinky throws a dwarkstone in Gunmar’s face, and AAARRRGGHH charges in (possibly via portal so Gunmar won’t see him coming) and punches Gunmar in the gut. The combination of explosion and punch forces Gunmar to drop his sword, and Jim grabs it.

Jim, wearing the Eclipse armour, discovers he is able to hold the Decimaar Blade. (It is implied by how Gunmar conjures it that Decimaar is magically bound to the Gumm-Gumm warlord in a similar way to how Daylight is tied to the Trollhunter, so this might surprise Jim. At the very least, AAARRRGGHH should look surprised.)

Gunmar is distracted by Claire, who portals Blinky out of the way of an attack. Gunmar has seen Claire before, when Morgana agreed to help bring about the Eternal Night. “Morgana’s child …” He is confused and suspicious to see her on the Trollhunters’ side.

Toby swoops Jim above Gunmar and Jim drops down, doing that diagonal swiping attack but with the Decimaar Blade instead of Eclipse, and striking from behind. Gunmar doesn’t turn to stone right away - he turns and starts charging at Jim, who conjures the Eclipse sword stabbed into Gunmar’s chest, like how Jim stabbed Gladys and Bular with Daylight in Season 1.

Gunmar turns to stone and crumbles. Decimaar is still there. The blade’s highlights are blue again instead of gold. Jim picks it up and his eyes glow blue. The other Trollhunters exchange worried looks.

“Jimbo?”

“Master Jim?”

Jim sends out a blast of blue lightning-looking energy from the sword, like the red stuff that happened in the show when Gunmar died, except instead of exploding the Gumm-Gumms it un-brainwashes them. He then drops the sword and collapses. His friends rush to him. (He’s fine, just exhausted. Jim isn’t used to doing magic.)

Angor Rot wasn’t there when Jim and Gunmar started fighting. He saw Strickler and went off to kill him, as revenge for the magical enslavement in the second half of Season 1. Angor changes his mind when he sees Strickler get injured fighting a Gumm-Gumm to protect some humans who haven’t gotten to shelter yet, which prompts a flashback to Angor’s time as a hero. Angor goes off again, this time to hunt down Morgana, nonchalantly killing any Gumm-Gumms who cross his path on the way. (At this point, Angor may still want Strickler dead, but he’s willing to wait to kill him until after the Gumm-Gumms are defeated.)

The thing with Morgana happens like it did in canon except Angor gets thrown back instead of exploded.

Draal is with Nomura and Strickler protecting the civilians from the Gumm-Gumms, or possibly he did die because Draal would have smashed down that bathroom door in negative five seconds and stopped Jim using the potion. If he did die, they revive him later with the Creeper’s Sun antidote.

#ask me anything #Trollhunters #Tales of Arcadia #Troll Jim #Gunmar #fight scenes #what might have been #movies #Sequel #television #commentary #relationships #Draal #Dr Barbara Lake #Nana Nancy Domzalski #Blinkous Galadrigal #also #jungle book #fanfiction

[pwnyta]

Nobody ASKED for any of my shitty Pokemon character doodles... BUT IM IN A MOOD.

SO yall have to deal with it.

This is under a read more so dont come at me about it being annoyingly long. Blame Dumblr. Theres a SHIT TON OF DOODLES UNDER THE CUT.

First off I wanted to give Holly a whole classroom of friends... it wasnt GONNA be an all girls school... but I kept crankin of little girly Mons....

I dont actually have a shiny Darumaka or Eevee... but theyre two of my favorite shinies...

I drew these four after so theyre a bit different in style. Shiny Swirlex has the same excuse as the other two shinies... I just love the shiny colors

They also needed a teacher so I repurposed one of my older characters because I thought itd be funny to have a swan teacher... cuz swans are so scary but they care for their babies well.

Darla and Delilah can be bothered with threats because theyre safe with Mr Shandra.

Mikhail only takes classes that are small enough to fit under his wingspan so he can keep them all safe. And Eva and Tiffany learn from the best and just get pissed off like their teacher.

((Hes more bark than bite though... hes not a great fighter and a double weakness to Electric? Garbo. But he puts up a convincing enough front.))

And because he was a swan I gave him a life mate. The only other being that gets any softness from him.

He was an ex pirate.

Mikhail has no interest in criminals!!! So the captain gave up the pirate life and married a very short tempered bird and gained a lot of weight...because I wanted him chubby.

---

‘’Spider’’, Esi, and dear ol Dad. Despite Reds best efforts to keep Esi out of Osborns hands he still ended up an immensely shady bastard but at least hes not as broken as ‘’Spider’’.

I didnt finish their moms because I couldnt settle on a design for Spiders mum....

Now Spider works for Caedere his beloved boss who would never ever lie to him ever. (Hint: Spiders nature is ‘naive’)

---

I tried revamping Ray and Hebanon...  but Ray still gay as hell for his boy.

I bullied Sparky a little. He’ll probably be fine even if Rays got a Mega evo. Its the name of the game Ray... hes supposed to knock his opponent out... you cant get pissed when ever Hebanon gets fucked up in battle.

---

Did I post these? Am I ever gonna finish these character sheets? No. And look I forgot the most pressing detail of Zippos and thats his fuckin Arbok mark on his back. IM A FOOL.

Kreetan and his mum and dad.

So many little comic things I’ll never finish because theres too many and instead of just stopping and finishing something I keep adding to my unfinished doodles instead. This is why I dont take requests or anything.

I time where Leif and Cyndy actually grow up?

THEY ALL HAVE CAT EARS.

Zippo is curious.

.....AS A CAT.

Polly is here too!! And shes ready to punch someone RIGHT IN THE NOODLE.

I also thought itd be nice to draw out some other Chars of Zippo and Crizs generation.

Theyre.. as you may have guessed are not finished yet.

Clem is a timid lad, Mira... not so much. Very brave

Addy is a modest princess type

Jubilee is a sassy lass.

And Criz. A sweet bashful boy whos never done anything wrong and certainly will not die because no one would be cruel enough to let that happen.

((EYES EMOJI))

Babby Clem, Addy, and Jubilee.

WHO’RE THESE ASSHOLES?!

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Updated Mistletoe. One spooky righteous(in his own mind) lad.

She only looks stoic to start... but shes quite the weirdo.

She just got here and shes ready to go home. What a mood.

Now for some less polished individuals....

Meh meh meh lookit me IM OMI. Im gonna put three of the exact same Pokemon in the same group so Pwnyta has to suffer tryna come up with different designs.

...But I do like them. I imagine that they remain Ekans because they wont need the mark of their tribe so no one will no where they come from. So spooky.

I was torn between the codename ‘Sundown‘ and ‘Daybreak‘ for Crobat.

By day hes a wholesome trustworthy priest... by night he tortures people for a shady shady bug man. He’ll determine if youre truly innocent.

Doc has to deal with all these fuckin weirdos... he just wants to be a doctor... BUT AT WHAT COST DOC?!

This is a sequel to the doodle comic I was makin in a previous post... Kop and Doc develop an interesting friendship (In Kops mind. Its more a ‘stalker with a crush’ situation) But hey if Kops not being paid then hes got no reason to hurt Doc.

...Docs a fun character to bully because hes so smarmy and small.

---

AND NOW FOR SOME SCIENCE BITCHES.

A man of few words and an intense curiosity with mortal beings and his own existence.

A spooky lad who doesnt quite mean to torment his subordinates... its just his Pressure.

Id imagine his form changes are a bit like Iron Man in IW when hes fighting Thanos.

I drew some more science bitches...

Some casual clothes for the original three stooges.

Shes deaf Franz! She cant hear you.

Ya know IDK if itd be ‘canon‘ that they all met as kids... I just thought itd be cute. Little psychic babies all doofin off together... the most troublesome one being asleep 90% of the time due to being an Abra.... and narcoleptic. Abra sleep so much naturally... Geller sleeps even MORE... thats why hes so incredibly smart even for an Alakazam.

I had a whole little redo sketch comic idea of Mewtwo breakin loose and fuckin shit up.... (its never been finished)

Franz tries to put him to sleep. (it doesnt work. He needs Emanuel and Nola to save him and he gets his arm broken for bein such a cheeky lad.)

Mewtwo doesnt have too much of a problem with Geller due to his soft spot for kids and pure desire for knowledge... but if hes gonna protect the other assholes then PERISH.

Dont worry though big boss Deo wont let his subordinates die let alone the second smartest after him... and saves them all pretty easy. A sharp tentacle arm through the chest will stop even Mewtwo.

Some booboos happen tho...

But hes fine eventually and finds his ex wife home watchin the kids.

Shes promptly expelled.

Geller also goes back for Dilla and steals him. Lifes too short not to adopt an ancient fossil baby.

Emanuel isnt delighted... but he doesnt have the heart to call the authorities on a man who risked his life to save him.

Fossil Mons come in two types-- Resurrected fossils which have the skin color of the primary coloring of their Pokemon form so they can be solid black or blue or red or w/e... Ancestors of ancient Pokemon have normal skin tones.

And another comic sketch idea... where Geller and Roswell are gifted with some fancy new Mega stones... Ros? Not too keen on the idea hes seen what can happen to a bitch when they Mega Evo... he aint got time for that. Geller goes HARD for SCIENCE.

Ros: Geller I know your a spoon guy but stick a fork in that bastard cuz hes done. COOKED. If he thinks im riskin my ass for his bullshit. Lets go tell him off together (im scared to go without you...)

Geller: We experiment on living things all the time for the sake of scientific progress.... are we really too good to be subject to our own studies?

Ros: YES. ABSOLUTELY.

After seeing Geller use his without hesitation, putting his body through a world of hurt for the sake of SCIENCE!!! Ros couldnt pussy out on his boy...

His Mega is just FABULOUS and now he loves it.

--

I was also makin a team with the Pokemon that have the highest stats (non Legends/Psudos/Megas) but I got bored after Blissey. She has a Togekiss wife I didnt finish either... Oh well.

Shes a bold lass and prefers double battles with her support wife. She doesnt like using dangerous moves as its in her nature as a Blissey to heal.

---

(I forgot his whiskers... OH WELL)

I wanted to give Flaminio some people who missed him after he got spirited away by his Ghosts.

After he disappeared people looked for him but he was never found and years and years went by and people stopped looking. Even Clove and Ceto had to move on.

Koban is a loyal bitch though and he never let it go. He still wants his friend back. Hes an old boy now... so old people probably call him ‘Nekomata‘ and wonder when his tail is gonna split.

#PKMN fanarts #RIP Omi if you get through all of this... #Pwny Gijinka mon fanarts.

[indigo-ra]

The Little Black Mermaid

There’s a lot to unpack here. First off, let me start by saying I think it’s very progressive to see a black girl casted for Disney’s live action version of The Little Mermaid. It seems that after 70 some-odd-years, Disney is finally taking steps to represent diversity for this next generation of kids.  Now, I  also have to come in and say that I don’t understand why Disney is doing all these live action remakes. I saw Aladdin recently and I could see the love that the creative team put into the costume designs and backgrounds- it was so BEAUTIFUL.

But I also saw something I fundamentally disliked about this new generation of live-action remakes. See, when Disney does any storytelling, whatever the source, it is scrubbed of much of its authenticity and then sugar-coated for mass consumption for all ages. Of course, it wasn’t always this way. If you go back a few decades, you’ll see some downright offensive things produced by Disney too; but Disney 2019, is the owner of Lucas Arts and Marvel now. They’re such a massive conglomerate corporation, their image has to be flawless so they can set the pace for each new wave of consumerism. You’re thinking “Yeah, so?”  So, I’m just going to say, after watching Aladdin, I felt hollow. To get a Disney-filtered animated version of the story, there are a lot of things to weigh and consider. Animation, by and large is a treatment most production companies market toward children. You also have to understand that you can get away with a LOT in animation, because impossible things are possible in 2D animation and everything is intentional.  To take that story that had already been through such an intense filter to make into an animation, and apply that same exact treatment to live-action is moving backwards. Not only that, but Disney took it a step further and made a point to omit any semblance of ANYTHING that could be considered risque in the slightest. Jasmine’s short scene of seducing Jafar was swapped out for a new princess power ballad and left the entire story feeling FLATTER than the 2D Animation. It’s true. The reason why, is, because all the richness of a story adapted for animation has been applied to live-action. Three dimensional people don’t squash, bend, stretch or emote like cartoons, so the songs, the action, the intensity of it, unless treated like a LIVE-ACTION movie would never add up. And it’s incredibly flat. The movie has no surprises, no intensity, no complexity and no personality. She looks very pretty though. Now with that in mind, I’m going to approach the topic of The Little Mermaid. Keeping in mind that Disney is catering their brand toward a new generation of gender-neutral pussies in the making, their message has changed. It used to be “Your prince will come.” but now it’s “You’re a princess, you don’t need  a prince.” Taking the “Happily ever after” off of the ending in favor of some “...to be continued” because, it sells. The first go round was so successful, there was all kinds of collectible junk that came out with each classic movie and even new rides for the theme park. People ate that shit up, and Disney is like, “well it if ain’t broke...”, and is now redoing the same projects because, everybody else has done it.  In recent years how many versions of Disney princesses trended? Modern takes with them illustrated wearing casual clothes, On the cover of magazines, Photoshopped to look photo-real, Covered in tattoos, doing drugs etc... In the past 2-3 years there has been an upward trend, after we came out of our sexy vampire phase (True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries)  and went in the direction of modernized fairytales (Once Upon a Time, Grimm, The Hunstman, Descendants). Disney rode that wave until it started to decline and THAT’S when the live-action remakes started. The Little Mermaid casting choice, plain and simple is a grab at black dollars. I’m not mad at it. But I think it’s very flippant how Disney made such an unexpected move, knowing exactly how Black people would react.  It has mostly been positive. Disney is certainly trending in the black community, and new art of the new black Disney princess is popping up everywhere.  But not all Black people agree. Some don’t even understand why they don’t like the concept, because it does seem like they should be happy, that, for once, color seems not to matter. Which is exactly the problem.  The issue at hand is when white actors are placed in roles that ARE WRITTEN or CALL FOR ethnicities that are NOT White:

Disney is making an effort.-But not really. I understand why black people are happy, but I also understand why they are upset, and for ONCE white people do have some reason to feel slighted in this situation. The Little Mermaid has been black-washed. The Little Mermaid is a story written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1837 - who was Danish man from Denmark. SO if you’re under the impression that The Little Mermaid was originally about this “Yemoja” Orisha I’m seeing popping up all over the place from these hoteps that claim they’re woke, that is called “cultural appropriation” plain and simple. We hate that, so let’s not be those people. The original story is about a mermaid in search of obtaining a soul, and though it is a mythical creature, SUNSHINE is what makes people dark-skinned. If you live underwater, in DENMARK of all places, fuck white, this fish would be damn near transparent. This was one of the times where Disney didn’t have to worry about appeasing black people. If Ariel was casted White, Black people wouldn’t have cried about it being unfair because that would be accurate. NOBODY petitioned, going around asking for signatures, demanding that Ariel be black, and now, White Disney supporters are feeling slighted, and rightly so, because Disney isn’t trying to balance the scales, so much as perpetuate the message that they “don’t see color” and “race doesn’t matter”; and Black people hate that narrative! It’s like when you get into a fight with your little sister or brother growing up and your mom makes you apologize, even though they started it. To your mom, it doesn’t matter who started it, and even though it’s unfair, she forces you to humble yourself even if you were the victim. That’s not balance, it’s a forced compromise. We need to stop being so eager to jump on the bandwagon of any pitiful handouts they give us, especially if it’s not coming from a pure place of good intent. White people will buy new merch to burn and Black people will buy anything that has their face on it, so both ways, Disney wins. I love Disney, but this was a blunder on their end. Halle Bailey’s singing chops in a Disney movie is not going to even get close to showing off her skills or range as a vocalist since Disney songs are all written in keys and chords that the general public can sing along with.  Personally, I think Disney could have been better about choosing a character that more matched the Ariel we already know and love. It’s not like we are starting from scratch. We already have a red-haired, fair-skinned mermaid girl, who we know and love from the 2D animation. If you’re RE-MAKING the movie, why not make it in the image of the first success? Don’t change the main character’s color on a whim. If Disney was RE-IMAGINING The story, then it’s okay. Tweak the story. If it takes place in the Carribbean, maybe with some influential cultural tweaks like the prince being from Barbados (Sebastian can obviously stay the same), and maybe some pirates thrown in, it could be good, and Halle Bailey would be a wonderful casting choice, just like Brandy was in Rodger and Hammerstein’s version of Cinderella. But it wouldn’t be a REMAKE. But if it’s going to be a remake, as I recall, I do believe the Disney’s version took place in The Caspian sea, according to Ursula’s spell.

I never felt like I couldn’t relate to Ariel because she was white, A mermaid isn’t a human in the first place. We’re 2 for 0 in black women getting the “another species/race/creature” treatment with Disney. A princess that was a frog and now a mermaid and we’re playing it up like a victory while Disney is about to make some serious coin off of us. That’s all folks.

#halle #bailey #halle bailey #ariel #thelittlemermaid #the little mermaid #Disney #remakes

[sparda3g]

My Hero Academia Chapter 241 Review

Well, it finally happened. We are back to the hero’s side. The timing is so strange. There’s another series that reintroduced a group as a whole within the same release date. The only difference is, my reaction is polar opposite. I’ll let you figure it out which one had me with glee. Right from the very start, the tone is night and day (maybe no pun intended) with heroes working on interviews. It’s a necessary change of pace after a dark development.

The chapter begins with Bakugo and Shouto being interviewed for their accomplishment for obtaining their provisional licenses. Bakugo is savage as always; Shouto is calm but clueless as always. Needless to say, the interview was rowdy. Sucks for Bakugo though; he gets cut off entirely in the official broadcast. It sets up for the chapter to be filled with humorous and light-hearted moments. It does feel like it has been a while since we last saw them, so it’s fine. The chapter’s cover did make me laugh however. It’s a picture perfect on who is prioritized in Class 1-A, let alone the entire cast.

The use of news report is to give us the heroes’ reaction as well as clarifying the small time-skip. It has been nine days since the last arc and things are getting rebuild. I imagine it will go down again later. I find it funny how much this series is really hammering in that many following actions after Hideout Raid Arc are deemed worse. At least it’s preparing the fans for the inevitable Dragon Ball Z level of crazy. The citizens in Deika were interviewed and rather discouraging heroes as no good, they were seen as bright and trustworthy companion. I know they have to hide the actual fact, though it almost sound like consequences are declined. Funny, because many fans thought that would be the case.

Mt. Lady barges in with a fan service pose and it’s time for Class 1-A to learn the value of exposure. I chuckled when Mineta was horrified at the sight. Leave it to her to talk about spotlight, starting with media. Not going to lie, I sort of cringed with the way the term “Plus Ultra” was used. Anyway, the task is practicing hero’s interviews. It’s only for this chapter; imagine an arc around it. It’s designed for some gag and retelling some of hero’s goal and technique.

Shouto can fit the hero’s term well, only he is clueless on reading the mood or intention. For example, he explains his thoughts on the ethic of heroism. Mt. Lady, who is playing the role of an interviewer, is so touched by his mannerism, that her heart is about to burst. He reacts like she was in real danger. I’m assuming Kohei is making his character lean closer to Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy, who can’t read sarcasm and takes everything literal. I’m fine with that.

In case you have forgotten, Shouto recalls his current power still unable to carry the mantle that Endeavor hoping to see. In other words, his ongoing development. Not that I was worried, but at least it’s good to know that this is ongoing, so we can expect further insight of father-son bonding. But first, he needs to work on his reading; otherwise, he will believe completely that his smile can kill.

In case you feel this lesson is meaningless, though perhaps in a long run in writing it will be, Mt. Lady assure that it has its own value; one in which can grasp the attention of many, villains included. It’s why they have to do super moves to show off and reassure the citizens that they will be safe. At least she has changed, so there’s that. It goes through a montage of classmates and their interviews. Pretty telling on how important they are. Sadly, I was hoping for more of their involvement here. It still carries the same problem of characters not fleshing out and its consequences continue to resurface.

The montage breaks off with Bakugo flat out tells everyone to shut up and follow him. Now that’s a one-man army speaking. Imagine having him as your PR; it will be a nightmare. Deku is next and the image of his stiffed posture is funny. I think it’s technically 4th wall breaking when the classmates can see him in his blocky design; Kirishima even believed he has the similar hardening ability. It’s funny how he become excited and collective when All Might was mentioned. I can somewhat relate to that.

Being the protagonist he is, the moment is bound to have a serious tone; case in point, his reflection on his Sage of Six Quirks. It’s basically a verification that he will put it on hold, but will use them eventually. If you thought it was fun to watch him achieving the percentage of one quirk, try six more. I’m still not a fan of this idea. Now that Deku confirmed that these other six quirks will be like his original progression, to me, Kohei seems to be afraid of taking a different approach in its formula; repeating it many time. Speaking of repeating formula, the next arc is hinted and honestly, I laughed.

The Principal set the stage for possibly but most likely next arc. It’s Internship 2.0 Arc. I like to think Kohei wants to redo and make it better. I’ll lose my head if it’s a repeat. I also like to think he’s pulling off the film Dark Phoenix, but that will be a nightmare for all of us. It suggested that the main trio will be the center stage for the next arc. At least, that’s how it was panelized in the end. Even so, the formula won’t be branching off for a while. I’m just hoping the execution and choreograph are improved.

It was a fine chapter. It had some funny moments, but largely, it’s a recap to who and what the new uprising heroes are. It was longer than usual, but it didn’t have much visual exploitation, so it’s easier to work on. The hint of the next arc had me laughing. In all seriousness, it’s expected to have another arc that will involve with real life problems, now that the villains have their uprising. Will the next arc be the Spider-Man Homecoming transiting from the Amazing series, or will it be Dark Phoenix transiting from The Last Stand? Pray for the former…

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #chapter 241 #review #spoilers

[elenajohansenauthor]

Fictober18, Day 29: “At least it can’t get any worse.”

OCs: Shannon and Marlene [that’s her mom, she finally has a name!]

Project: Untitled paranormal romance for Fictober18/NaNoWriMo, now tagged #spookyromancenovel on my blog

Potential Triggers: none

Word Count: 1,304

About: Coffee date with dear old mom. [Note: remember this is a rough draft. I’ve finally got some notes-to-self in here instead of actual words or names. It was bound to happen eventually.]

On Sunday morning, I met with my mother at an upscale cafe in [Fancy Rich Part of Town]. She had a flight to catch later that day for a two-week business trip to France, because even when it's not Fashion Week in Paris, there's always still fashion business going on there. She spent the first half of our get-together telling me about what a hassle it was going to be, then interrupted herself with a sip of her iced hibiscus latte and remembered the reason why we'd met up in the first place.

Other than habit, anyway.

I sipped my cinnamon-infused black tea and watched her pull a sheaf of loose papers from her sleek, portfolio-style purse. The dress sketches!

My cousin's wedding seemed years, even light-years away at this point, but in truth it was only about six months from now. Plenty of time for my mother to create something fabulous for me, but with her insane schedule, that would only be true if we started immediately. Though getting all dressed up was the least of my concerns or desires at the moment, I gave myself a mental pep talk to get engaged with it and stay that way.

My mother was usually quick to pick up on signs of boredom or distress, and though the sunlight starting to peek through the cafe windows was calling to me, I could spare my real, regular, family life another half hour to see my mother happy before she left.

Everything was so gorgeous I hardly knew where to start, but I went through the ritual I'd developed over the years. First, lay all the options out with as little overlap as the space on the table allowed—which was hard, this time around. Look at all of them as a whole, and choose the ones that stand out to an unfocused gaze. Pick them out—usually three or four, but sometimes as many as seven if my mother did her usual dozen sketches—and start comparing them, two at a time. Which neckline do I like better? Which hem? Which color? What details?

Choose another two, and repeat.

When I was very young, and I didn't like to get dressed up or even wear dresses at all, little tomboy Shannon had tried just picking one design right away, after only looking for a minute. My mother hadn't cared for that at all. She wanted her work to be appreciated, even when she wasn't a famous designer yet. And I wouldn't realize for years that the effort she put into her designs was one of the ways she showed her love for me.

I went through my four standouts twice, narrowing it to one. But that left eight designs I'd hardly even glanced at, so it was time to consider those. I held each one up in turn next to my temporary favorite. What hadn't I liked about it? What was good, what could be incorporated to the favorite design if possible? Had I been wrong at first, was it better upon consideration?

The whole process took ten solid, silent minutes, during which my mother drank her latte and did something on her phone, probably dealing with email. But she glanced up from it often, perhaps checking in on my progress or my expression.

Finally, I handed her my choice, but this time, with a secondary sketch in hand. “I love nearly everything about this one,” I explained, indicating the first one, “except I think the dove gray might be too close to white. I'd hate for [cousin's name I forgot] to think I'm trying to upstage her. So could we do it in this color instead?” I showed her the second design, a shade of orange-pink that I would call nectarine, but who knew what it was in my mother's deep well of color vocabulary.

She held the two side by side and chewed lightly on her bottom lip as she pondered. “I'm not sure the beading would be as evident on the brighter color, if we stayed with the silver beads...” She was speaking slowly in a low voice, almost to herself. “But what if—could that work? Yes, yes.” She looked up at me. “I've been thinking of next summer's line, and I wanted to emphasize bold color contrasts. Would you mind being a guinea pig for that? I'll use this coral for the base color, and redo the bead work in, say, flame orange, or magenta. Or both! It's a wedding, so we should be both beautiful and opulent. And I can coordinate mine with yours, make the fabric the same darker color the bead work is, then do the details in gold, that'll work with either.”

I nodded along, trying to picture it. What I imagined was beautiful, but whatever my mother was picturing would be gorgeous beyond description.

It always was.

I took the sketches from her and held them at arm's length, trying to picture a synthesis of the two. The quiet bustle of the shop's morning business faded to a background chattering, and much to my surprise, a woman sitting at the corner booth, just inside my line of sight, lit up with a soft glow.

Why had that happened? I wasn't trying to sense magic...

I bit my lip on a laugh as I realized what I'd done, and what it meant. My mother, without a single drop of magic in her, had somehow managed to teach me to scry without meaning to. The process was surprisingly similar—when I'd begun to practice, I must have intuitively followed the same mental pattern.

“What's with the sudden cheer?” My mother was watching me above the edge of the papers.

“We're going to look amazing,” I told her. “We might be in danger of upstaging the bride anyway.”

She tsked at me, but she was fighting a grin. “If only [cousin] had taken me up on my offer to design her dress as well. But [aunt] insisted that [cousin] wear her old dress—she sets too much store in antiques, poor thing.” She sighed. “I would have done it, too, I know my sister thinks the offer wasn't genuine, but it was.”

“I know.”

She glanced at her phone again and seemed to deflate a little. “Ah! There's already a problem with the venue, and I'm not even there yet. Dealing with international arrangements is such a hassle. But whenever something goes wrong at the start, I tell myself, at least it can't get any worse. Though somehow it usually does anyway. I need to get going. Help me gather everything up, would you?”

It didn't take long, and after a brief kiss on my cheek, my mother was out the door to meet her car at the curb, ready to whisk her to the airport for a week of stress and glamour in beautiful France.

Travel had never been a high priority for me, but I let myself imagine, for a few minutes while I finished my drink, what it would be like to go with her, or even what it would be like to travel to far-off places on my own...

But when I tried to picture myself looking up at the Eiffel Tower, or scaling some remote mountain path to a tea house in China, in my imagination I would turn to share my joy, and Noah was there beside me, smiling right back at me. Did he long to travel? Where did he want to go, what did he want to see?

If I wanted to make that a reality, someday, I had things to do, things that didn't involve sitting in a cafe daydreaming. I tossed our garbage into a bin—in my haste, my mother had left her cup on the table—and strode out into the sunshine.

#writeblr #fictober18 #original fiction #spookyromancenovel #amwriting #spookyromancenovel excerpt

[tarotjourney2021]

6:16 PM Last day of work before going on leave

I think this is the tower moment.. the moment they told me about.. that I am gonna have a big change which will scare me.. i think this is is.. but contarary to what I thought before, the change won't happen to me, the job won't call me back while I do nothing, this job might try to insult me again as a second blow.. and this tower of the 360 review.. which i can hear Areen's mean thoughts of how can I kick her harder.. this backstabbing bitch! She will get her karma.. and the karma will be through my work.. i will start publishing all the links and things I have been featured in.. so everyone knows how good I am.. and this my work will be the karma.. the karma won't come from an outside source.. the karma.. is me..! it's me bitch!

I think Minnow Pond said something to that effect.. he said that you will see someone get their karma.. but the karma could be through me getting my success! And that's exactly what I'm gonna do Chris.. I am done with this fool journey.. I need to step into the magician.. I need to level up.. to get my 'glow up'

very very very cheesy.

anyways,

The same applies to the tower.. i am the one who will take control of the tower and be the one not only jumping out of it willingly, but creating it. I will manifest what I want, and would work very hard and strategically towards it.. I will update the website.. most of it is done anyways.. just the last stop of details and making decisions and doing a bulk of work done... okay.. i have a lot to do.. but at least I know that i started and did a shit load of work before.. and it got me here.. how many times did I design and redesign the website.. even though everyone tells me it looks great.. but do i let that be and work on the technical parts of it.. like the shop or the blog or to let people share my stuff on social media..I mean! there is a lot to be done.. but that's okay.. let's push ourselves to the next phase.. because this is the price to be paid to manifest this.. I want the kind of employer that is not only impressed that I have a website, but can appreciate that I have a terrific website.. levelling up requires that, I need to ask for better things. and just because I like to research the hell out of things, I decided to watch every video ever made on youtube on manifestation, scripting.. add it to a long list.. bingewatch it as I organize my youtube videos.. so I can give them to the two editors.. and this way the youtube channel can keep going..

I will still try to keep my deadline of publishing a youtube video today.. cause I need to be consistent and to be consistent I need to stick to the plan.. the plan is good.. land the plan..or take off.. do something.. stop hovering.. stop doing things half-assed and congratulating yourself for getting out of bed, cause you have mental health issues.

We have a therapist now, so she will be helping with that, and also I am still willing to put in the work.. i am the king of pentacles.. despite the turblant water.. i am still focused on my pentacles.. still willing to sit here.. after breaking down in tears after the 360 review.. after all the work I have been doing.. and letting these as%###$@ make me work regularly long hours.. sometimes until 10 at night or midnight.. only to make me redo it all again.. because they changed their mind! Making me go on a saturday, across town in the ttc to take pictures with my personal camera and come back home at 5.. shaking with exhaustion.. and i only had sunday to work before i start the work day again.. and I wonder why I am always sick.. i work myself to the bone.

Even now.. even now .. when not even an hour ago.. i told myself to relax and sleep on the hammock to calm myself down and remind myself that the positive comments from the CEO, my manager, even my new manager can't stop saying great things about me. But you know how it is.. it is the corporate world, 360 reviews is the perfect time for anyone who has been hating on you, and to be honest with your taurus anger when someone disrespects you, especially when it involves racism, it boils my blood. And everyone wants to treat me like I am an idiot, when they hear my accent, or being black, an immigrant, single in my 30s... a lot of back-handed comments are exchanged.. racist 'jokes'.. even a suggestion of a black face from that bitch.. when the manager asked for suggestions for Halloween costumes as a team for the office virtual mandatory party. And both our TWO managers were in the meeting.. and none of them said anything! Shouldn't you 'manage' this?

I need to show them in action, very quietly without a lot of chatter that they don't get to do that.. they don't get to allow this kind of behaviour.. coming from the CEO herself and her daughter..

But I need to win all the way through, I need to keep my cool, they automatically win, if I lose it and start openly misbehaven.. the best insults are the ones that are given with class.

So what's the plan.

I will do the whole ritual thing, candles and all.

and then get to work.

Hopefully by the time I am done watching youtube, the files will be sent to my editors.. and youtube the youtube channel will start picking up soon. I think I already said that.

Then!

I will buy the sparkling water thing.. I feel the problem with staying focused is that I need hydration and somehow I can't stand tab water these days.. and I can't have enough of sparkling.. so let's make the investment.. you are officially on leave for the next two weeks, you will be able to post all those things to facebook market and sell them, and put the money back into the little investments we need to do now..

Like the investment in my time and energy I am gonna have to make to meet my illustration deadline and my youtube deadline

Let's start with youtube deadline.. I need to build the trust in myself.. by keeping this promise.. I will publish a video on youtube every week on Thursday 11 AM. I know I already missed the time deadline.. but it is still thursday.. so let's do the easiest thing to do and post it.. doesn't matter we only have 25 subscribers.. 26!! sorry!!!!  so no one is watching.. you need to jerk the giant algoritm awake and the only way to awaken this dragon is by meeting this deadline.. over and over and over again.. and I want you to have those posters of red crosses all around to see the progress that I am making in everything and keep things balanced.. and after this time off i want it to be clear in your mind.. what we are postponing, what we are focusing on.. my art.. my clay.. building this as a business... slowly but surely.

ok, after the youtube video.. i will give myself the deadline of 45 minutes.. so we are done.. i might even make it 30 minutes.. because i want to test my theory.. that people now want youtube videos to be as short as possible maybe a minute or two.. because youtube videos now compared to what's out there on social media feel like 2-hour long movies.. we have adapted to everything being tik-tok fast and crazy, so we can't sit through anything this long.. i personally can't! So I have to assume I am not alone, and I would like to attract those people on youtube, the people that I can almost feel their pulse.. they are tuned to me, can get what I like.. feel like they know me and I know them, feel like it is a warm hug between dear friends they found each others but never knew one another. I want that. But to get there.. I need to throw a lot of things out there and assess, adjust and move forward.. I need to be more like the chariot, Cancer, my moon sign. i need to flow like water.. move a way a little bit from my Taurus ways.. my Virgo rising better pay attention to all these little details and I should give her back the hermit mode... where I can retreat into my introverted shell and stay here for a little bit, until i start to figure things out.. I am actually almost flattered to know that the magician is also a card for virgo.. and it is fitting that I am stepping into this magician.. literally.. googling magic stuff.. and petition examples.. and also physically by actively going after the laid down plan.. the plan i kept changing and working out in my head..I feel for years, but never taking a real step towards it, but now it's time. It's been long enough.. the plan is ready.. let's go.. not apologetically... not kinda.. all in! ALL #!@#@$ IN!!

That's what I promised that I would do when I had this 'awakening or whatever', that to pay back the universe lady for seeing me for what I am and what I can be, that I won't give up on myself.. and I will stand up for that voice in my head that's trying to kill me and this feeling of longing to die. I even had the urge to die today.. to give up. and wish I was gone, out of laziness more than anything.. self pity and look-at-me bo-ho.. i know i sound mean.. and I am probably an asshole on some level(s). I should be compassionate.. i'm sorry towards myself first.. I know that i am healing from a trauma. I am better, but still all over the place.. i am so stressed and so alone.. i have been a lone for too long.. i realize now since I moved to Canada 4 years ago, I got lazy on the friends front, settled into a small group of women, whom are nice, but are not my people.. they can part of my people.. but not the centre.. they should be on the side tables... I need to find the right people for me.. to give me warmth.. my life has been cold and lonely for too long.. being here alone.. starting my life over.. still in a way living a double life between the old traditions and between who i really I am and what I want..and what I have been raised on that I am not good enough to have it. Even though I know in my gut that I can have it. I used to have the dead belief in myself that I will have everything.. but something broke back in Sudan. The weight of the tradition or the culture.. the shari'a law.. and its unforgiving rules.. people and how cruel they can sometimes get with their racist misogynist lifestyles that they impose on me, with all their force... then the heart break.. I never thought anything could throw me off like that, but it did. I guess I was already beaten enough when his blow came.

He too is another person I need to be on that mountain.. on top of it.. so he doesn't miss me. he can't miss me. and I don't think it will take me as long as I think to get on the top of the mountain. The hermit is already on the top of the mountain.. but I need to trust that I need to get myself mentally there.. so this physical world follows.

But to get there... i need to focus on myself.. forget about all of those people who shook your ego. You have to shake them off.. and put your head down to pray.. even though we don't pray .. but we need to lay down the details on that little prayer ritual I made up. A small part of me thinks it is ridiculous, because it is. But the other part loves it.. it gives me strength and I can almost swear.. actually i can swear.. that it was working.. the difficult days ahead smoothed out... and the dragon weren't as scary as I thought. I got a few little chips of gold every here and there.. and now I want to go for the real deal.

I need to be Indiana Jones one more time though, I know I am tired of it.. like literally tired.. my eyes are red.. and my body is aching.. couldn't because of all the crying with myself after work. I mean today is my last day of work before time off.. and I thought judging my surprising positivity this year, I thought I will be with a glass of wine celebrating by now... but I think knowing that rest is coming soon, my body is collapsing.

And true to my nature I am pushing her a little bit more. But we will rest I promise.. your cut off time is 10 PM! Then you can do whatever the hell I want. Maybe if it's not raining lay down in the hammock I need it.. I am tired.. it was so nice for a few minutes.. then I was again restless to start working again.

am I losing my mind?

#tarot #tarotcommunity #king of pentacles #Taurus #Virgo #Cancer #fooljourney

[martin-jordan]

#47/2020

It took several weeks, but on Thursday, I got my blog post about our team’s work since summer out. I had procrastinated a bit on it, but then could not stop even at the 1,200-word mark. It gives a solid overview of our rediscovery covering how the GOV.UK Service Manual is used. It’s honest about the current shortcomings and describes our ambitions. Now, we have to follow through and deliver new guidance for service teams while also making improvements to the product itself as well as the underlying processes. The text, Taking a community-led approach to the Service Standard and Service Manual, is up on the Services in Government blog.

After publishing the blog post, I felt comfortable enough also to update my LinkedIn profile – to reflect the role I’m doing now.

In reflection, this week has not been easy. Our team is very much in the norming phase, and we are experiencing some struggles with roles, responsibilities, ownership and accountability. I have mixed feelings about stepping in all too much and micro-directing colleagues who are absolutely capable of taking things into their own hands and delivering stuff at high quality. By the end of the week, we had discussed things to the degree that more clarity seemed to be there. But with some workstreams, we aren’t in full delivery flow yet. I hope we get there very soon. 

Other work streams are progressing very well. We started user research into a new guidance draft. I’ve not been observing enough user research sessions in the past months. Not at all, to be honest.  I realised I missed it as it allows us to see and hear how users are making sense of things. (How obvious, I know) All members of the team need to get into their 2 hours every 6 weeks rhythm again. It’s so important. For the research, I deployed a prototype to Heroku, which I also had not done in ages. I had to fake some PHP to make it work eventually. That reminded me how much I enjoy fiddling with a bit of code. And that I wanted to redo my website in 2020. There are still a few weeks left.

I have been working on my annual card. I’ve been sketching ideas on and off already for months. I thought I had made a breakthrough, at least on paper. Then, in Illustrator, it did not work as expected. So I’ll continue with another direction – hoping to get the design sorted by the end of the month. 

A colleague of mine talked about having no novelty in their life at the moment. Being in lockdown again, there is indeed very little to do. At some point, one has visited all the nearby parks, been to the few essential shops that are open, and run the neighbourhood runs one can run. I did do a fastest 9k on Sunday though – with less than 5:00 min/km. And I’m on track for 100k in November again.  

For the past weeks, I’ve been sticking to intermitted fasting again. This week, I read how it may support the immune system in defeating COVID-19. That is a neat side effect.

Finally, something new for my rarely used Oculus Quest 2. Star Wars: Tales from the Galaxy’s Edge was released. It features R2D2 and C3PO and lets you play a droid mechanic who fights some pirates. It’s good VR fun. And from Thursday to Sunday I managed to get through the game. It’s about 3.5 hours in total. VR games generally are relatively short, which is good. Because nobody wants to stand for that long. It was less impressive than Vader Immortal, but also a real game instead of an interactive experience. The trailer captures the game and its key scenes well. A few more hours would have been lovely, but more downloadable content is expected for 2021.

This week, BitCoin price went wild. It almost tripled in value since I bought my last part. As usual, in retrospective, I should have bought more. Haha.

#weeknotes

[leminwedj]

    Happy 5th anniversary Undertale!

    A few days late to saying that, but again, this orchestra is hitting me hard.  Also im currently sucked into working 30 hours a week, on top of online school.  It's stressful, but at least I have a functioning sleep schedule. (it desperately wants to stop functioning again)

    I found out about Undertale when I was 13, which is like the prime age for something to weld to a person for the rest of their life.  For some its a hobby, or a band that was popular at the time.  For me it was this game.  

    Part of the reason why this is taking so long to make is because when I had the idea for redo, I didn’t have a good clue as to what exactly makes a good game.  Over these 5 years i’ve learned so much about game design, despite not actually having released any real game of my own yet.  A lot of the time spent working on redo before this year was more like experimentation.  Now that I know what i’m doing (somewhat), I can work on this for real.  Once I have time to of course.

   If you look back at the beginning of this tumblr, you will find that redo did start as another web comic type of thing.  Again, i’m glad tumblr wasn’t letting me upload photos for some reason, because that put the idea for this alternate universe in the time-out corner to think about what it should be.  As it currently stands, redo can work either as a game or a web comic.  Although a web comic might be easier to just “get it out there,” I want to stick to turning this into a full fan game of Undertale for a few reasons.

   For one thing, I can spend as long as I want fine-tuning every part of a game from end to end before releasing it for people to see.  There were also a few times after looking back at what happened to Dreamer Reborn where I went and found a bunch of other fan games that were too convoluted to finish.  To me it feels like I have make redo as a game to fulfill the lost echoes of projects that could have been, but fell apart from having a massive hubris to begin with.

    And now, another update with game making.  Progress over the summer has been less than I anticipated, and its mostly boring backend bullshit for the player code anyways, so i’ll spare the fine details.  Movement is being finalized to a base version, animation is being experimented with, and a good solution for item/inventory management backend is being figured out.  All the progress that is being made is solid looking too, since the github repo is encouraging us to not completely scrap stuff.

    hey look at this crummy terrain generation I did for fun while you wait for something significant

    Anyways, I want to finish this with one last thing.  Occasionally, I grab the note cards i’ve drawn on and lay them all out together at the same time.  the leftmost grouping is stuff I made in the early phase of redo.  Stuff from about 2016-2017.  All the cards on the right side I consider kosher with what I feel redo is right now.  The notebook there is something I carry around sometimes, and i’ve put a lot of stuff in there like sketches and small bits of writing explaining the game.  Not to mention, there’s the sketchbook that’s sitting there as well.

    AND,     and and and and and there’s another sketchbook I got that has a really nice surface on the paper that I enjoy sketching stuff on, so here’s the first page I filled up in it.  The pages can barely fit in my scanner.

    Here’s hoping these next 5 years aren’t horrible.

[elesianne]

A Silmarillion fanfic, chapter fourteen

Chapter summary: Carnistir is stressed, and the meeting for tea goes awry.

Story summary: Sometimes your heart chooses for you before you even know there is a choice to make, and then all that can be done is find out whether love can build bridges across differences and fears. This is my story of how Caranthir comes to be married, with Caranthir’s family members alternately helping and hindering his attempts at courting.

Rating: Teen and up audiences; Chapter length: ~5,600 words

Tag-type thingies for the whole story: years of the trees, romance, falling in love, family, courtship, anger management issues, the Noldor, the Vanyar, some fluff and some angst, happy ending

Chapter notes: Rowan/@acommonanomaly did three wonderful portraits of Tuilindien a while ago, please check them out if you haven’t yet! I gave descriptions of Tuilë's looks to Rowan but they drew her so much better than I was able to even imagine.

I think it's best to remind you guys of some tags that have been there since the beginning but are most relevant for this chapter and the next two: the 'anger management issues' and 'angst' tags. But to reassure anyone who might be worried, I have now added a 'happy ending' tag, because that was always going to happen and still is.

See end note for a mild warning.

(Also posted on AO3 etc.)

*

Chapter XIV // Lapses of judgement

There is an odd sense of weightlessness that surrounds Carnistir as he makes his way home along the familiar streets. A small part of his mind is by necessity concentrated on keeping Varnë from stomping or champing on anyone, but the rest is still in the glade filled with dappled golden light and the rush of water and the sensation of Tuilindien in his arms, her lips on his, her scent in his nose, their emotions and sensations mixing and being amplified between them.

He had felt so at peace, even while his blood ran hot and he wanted to hold on to her ever tighter.

Some of that peace remains while he tends to Varnë at the stables at home, giving her a thorough brushing for behaving well or at least not embarrassing him thoroughly, going as far as to feed her a few apples as a reward. His bad-tempered horse has mellowed somewhat over the years but Carnistir believes that constant reinforcement of good behaviour should be continued.

(He doesn't like to think of all the times his parents must have used the same method on him.)

When he's going to his room to wash and change, the last of the pleasant golden haze in his mind is dispersed when he sees Curufinwë step out of the room next to his. Carnistir tenses and remembers all the times, when they were both easily irritable adolescents, he demanded his parents that he be given be a bedchamber farther away from Curufinwë's. Fëanáro told him that he should consider his brothers allies rather than squabble with them, which Carnistir later realised was deeply hypocritical of him and anyway, Curvo has always made that difficult.

And still likes to do so, apparently, for he leans against the wall and smirks far too widely at Carnistir. 'I see your afternoon with your Vanya went well', he observes. 'I heard you humming from around the corner.'

'I see you have nothing to do but lurk around the house uselessly', Carnistir snaps back. 'And call Tuilë by her name, if you must speak of her. Even father calls her Ingolmiel now.'

'And grimaces every time he does.' As so often, Carnistir's attempts at sharp words have failed to wipe the smug grin off Curufinwë's face. Curufinwë continues, 'I must say, you are a most peculiar kind of lover, Moryo: you would have no talk of your sweetheart – of Ingolmiel', he corrects hastily when Carnistir looks at him threateningly and steps closer. He keeps going, though. 'I was a child when Makalaurë fell for Tinweriel, but even I grew bored of him talking about her all the time. Then again, you've never been the best with words.'

Carnistir knows he is bright red, knows his hands are clenched into fists at his sides; he doesn't know why exactly Curufinwë is doing this but he must be looking for a reaction, an explosive one.

With effort, he steps back and unclenches his fists. He opens the door to his own room and says to Curvo, 'I told you weeks ago: one day you will understand. Until then, shut your mouth about my personal affairs. You don't sound nearly as smart as you think.' He hates the wavering growl in his voice, but it is better than shouting where his mother and youngest brothers would probably hear it.

Curufinwë's smirk has grown less bright. With cheer that is so clearly false that even Carnistir can see it, he says, 'Don't be unsociable, Moryo.'

Carnistir shuts the door in his face.

*

Dinner is a half-miserable affair that Carnistir would rather have avoided. His mother asks about his day just as she asked about everyone else's, without pointing out the significance of his and Tuilindien's first private excursion outside of Tirion.

He tells his family very briefly, his temper already flaring in anticipation of teasing from Tyelko or Curvo, that the ride had been pleasant and Tuilindien had found the waterfall glade beautiful.

'That's nice to hear', Maitimo smiles. 'The twins have never been there, we should take them someday soon. They should be good enough riders in no time, based on their enthusiasm at least.'

The twins hasten to assure everyone that yes, of course they will. Relieved at the change of topic, Carnistir does his best to return Maitimo's smile. He feels deeply the value of his oldest brother's support, all the more when Maitimo continues to carry to conversation. Somehow he manages to keep to topics far away from courting, the visiting Vanyar and even Fëanáro's work in the forge. The last topic Carnistir would like avoid because he hasn't yet finished the designs for the improvements of said forge even though he has promised to deliver them to his father very soon.

Carnistir eats quickly and speaks little. He is good at both but unfortunately doesn't manage to escape all attention. When he rises from the table as soon as he deems it passably polite (perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't; he's never quite sure) his father speaks his name.

'Morifinwë. Will you have those plans for me tomorrow?' Fëanáro asks. 'Or have you been too busy with other things?'

Carnistir grips the ornately carved back of the chair he just rose from so hard that it hurts. 'I'll have them ready', he says curtly. Already as he leaves the room he is regretting the impulsive promise – there are many hours of planning work left, not to mention redrawing every page to make sure they look neat and well-presented enough for Fëanáro's exacting standards. He didn't stop to consider any of that though; the only thought in his mind was that his father mustn't have any reason to blame Tuilindien for him neglecting his work.

He curses his impulsiveness all the way to his room, and once he gets there he shuts the door with a bang.

Then he sits down at his desk, digs out the messy designs and wonders how he is supposed to finish them in one night. He feels like the string of a bow pulled too tight, overstretched, close to snapping. The serenity and sweetness of the waterfall glade are all gone now, and they feel hard to recapture.

That is for the best, he decides, for then the thoughts of the lovely golden hours cannot distract him. He sets to work, frowning.

*

He isn't certain how long has passed when there is a knock on his door, but he does know he hasn't made nearly as much progress as he wants to. He also doesn't know who is it that is knocking, but he is certain that he doesn't want company.

'Go away', he growls under his breath, keeping quiet in deference to the twins' bedtime that has surely already passed.

'I know you're awake.' Curufinwë's voice is equally quiet. 'I can see the light under your door.'

'Go away anyway.'

'Look, Carnistir, don't be an idiot. Let me in.'

Carnistir tosses his quill to the desk and goes to the door but doesn't open it. 'What do you want, Curufinwë?' Again he can feel his temper rising, and trying to control it places an ever-tightening metal band around his head, an almost-tangible thing.

'You said to father that you're going to present the forge plans to him tomorrow, but I know you don't have them ready.'

Carnistir closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the door. He is tired, and he holds on to that instead of the anger he's also feeling. 'I will have them ready tomorrow.'

'You must be planning to work all night, then –'

'Why did you come to my door, Curvo?' Carnistir snaps. 'To gloat at my mismanagement of my schedule? Or to distract me so that I surely won't have my work done by morning?'

'To help.'

Carnistir is so astonished that he finds himself opening the door. 'Really?' he asks Curufinwë. 'After mocking me and my courting for weeks, you suddenly want to help?'

'If you actually listened to what I say and didn't bristle as soon as I open my mouth, you'd know that I have mocked you much less than you think', Curufinwë snaps back. 'Now, are you going to let me in and let me do the tidying up for you?'

'Shh, it's late.' Carnistir ushers his brother into the room and closes the door behind him quietly. 'You mean you'll copy the final versions?'

'Yes.' Curufinwë crosses his arms on his chest, as if to offset his generosity by the brusque gesture. 'It's not like I can do the actual drawing, since you're the one father asked to do the designing and you're better at buildings anyway.' He scowls like he always does when admitting that someone is better at something than he is. 'But unless you've gotten sloppy recently, I know you'll want to redo the drawings and copy the notations in a neater hand. You and I always do that when we have something to present to father.'

'Yes, we do', Carnistir says, regarding Curufinwë less suspiciously as he is reminded that he and Curvo are close in this one way: they are the only ones of Fëanáro's sons, this far at least, who have chosen to make a career of pursuing the same crafts as their father. Maitimo, Makalaurë and Tyelkormo only enter the forge and workshop more rarely, and only out of a sense of filial duty.

'Fine', Carnistir says after a moment. 'I mean, thank you', he adds stiffly.

Curufinwë doesn't acknowledge the expression of gratitude. Instead he moves another chair to the desk and picks up topmost page of a stack of papers. 'This looks like the first page', he observes. 'Is it finished?'

Carnistir shakes his head to recover from the lingering astonishment at Curufinwë's behaviour. 'Yes, it is.'

'Your penmanship is atrocious', says Curufinwë, bending his head to start copying the page.

Thanks to Curufinwë's assistance, Carnistir manages to finish the forge designs and even get a little sleep, but he is hardly rested and relaxed in the morning when he drops the stack of designs at his father's place at the breakfast table.

When Fëanáro sees it he arches one elegant brow. 'I must admit, I didn't expect you to have them today, and it wasn't completely necessary either.' His countenance softens ever so slightly as he asks, 'Did you rest at all?'

'I rested enough', Carnistir says, his eyes down on his plate in the hope of hiding the pallor of his face. He knows he looks unwell, and it wouldn't matter, except – 'I am happy to go over the plans with you today, father, but I must leave for a few hours in the afternoon.'

'Ah.' Fëanáro sets the papers he's been perusing back on the table. 'I see. Another meeting with lady Ingolmiel. You hardly go a day without seeing her.'

Carnistir stabs at his food. 'We don't want to waste any time we could have together before she has to leave.' This is not a topic he likes to dwell on, for even if Tuilindien manages to stay a little longer than she was originally going to, there is still a separation ahead.

'Of course not, my dear', Nerdanel says, aiming a warning look at her husband. 'I'm sure you will have time enough to discuss your work with your father even if you meet Ingolmiel in the afternoon. After all, we have all been talking about these forge improvements for a long time and it will also take time to build them, so it is surely no great matter if you take two days instead of one to make sure that the designs are what both of you want them to be.'

Fëanáro nods, but his mouth is a thin line of almost-disapproval, and Carnistir's temper is again a thread stretched too thin, or a snake coiled up, ready and threatening to strike – all those things that are appropriate metaphors for a dangerous thing one needs to keep a watchful eye on.

*

His temper is stretched even tighter by the time he leaves his father's study in the early afternoon and hurries back to his room to change for his meeting with Tuilindien. He made good progress on the plans with his father, and Fëanáro thankfully refrained from making any snide comments about Tuilindien, but Carnistir still hasn't forgiven him for his earlier behaviour. Things between them are troubled and tense.

Along the way to his room he notices that his youngest brothers are doing something slightly suspicious in the garden, but he doesn't have time to investigate and decides to just pretend that he didn't see them digging up a flowerbed.

As he rummages through his wardrobe to find something suitable for a walk in a park and subsequent refreshments at a teahouse, he thinks once again of how odd it is to feel excited for something that is in itself so respectable and boring. In addition to excitement, though, he is also frustrated. He would so much prefer to go riding with Tuilindien again, as far away from the city as possible, but they don't have time for that this time.

He is roused from his thoughts by the realisation that he has thrown nearly all of his clothes on the bed and yet finds himself none the wiser as to what he'll wear. He doesn't have very many clothes suitable for these important but not formal meetings with Tuilindien. Unlike Curvo or Makalaurë, he has never paid much attention to having many nice clothes.

He settles for a dark maroon tunic with silver embroidery at the collar and sleeves that is presentable but slightly too tight at the shoulders for a few years now, and charcoal grey breeches. When he steps out of his room, in a hurry by now, he finds the Ambarussar in the corridor. They are leaning against the wall opposite his door but when they see him, they scramble to their feet.

'Where are you going, Moryo?' asks Telvo.

'I told you, he's going to see the girl again', says Pityo and shoves at his twin.

Telvo shoves back. 'You don't know that for sure. Are you going to see her, Carnistir?'

'It's none of your business if I am', says Carnistir, locking his door to make sure that curious little boys don't find their way there.

'See? I told you.' Pityo sticks his tongue out at Telvo.

Carnistir ignores the squabbling boys and walks away, but he can hear the patter of their feet on the marble floor as they follow him.

'Can we come too, Carnistir? We have had the most boring day.'

He just shakes his head without turning. They should know well enough what it means, and that it's not appropriate for them to come along with him.

The twins start listing their grievances. 'Father has been working with you, mother is working on her own, and Tyelko rode off in the morning to stay with Oromë again', Telvo says.

'And we don't know what Curvo is doing but we haven't seen him all day. Russandol is at the palace again, and we don't even have lessons', Pityo adds with a sigh.

The Ambarussar must be bored indeed if they are missing their lessons with their prim tutor. Carnistir pities them a little but not very much. After all, they at least have each other for entertainment and annoyance at all times, which is more than most children do.

'Your girl is much nicer than you are, I'm sure she wouldn't mind us coming.' Telvo, who fancies himself the more silver-tongued of the two, is trying his childish best to persuade his big brother. It would make his Carnistir smile on most days.

They are by the front door by this time, and Carnistir turns to face the boys. 'No, you can't come.'

'But –', tries Pityo, the more tenacious one.

'No, and it's final. Go pester the servants if you need more company than each other. Or don't pester the cook and he might give you biscuits.'

With this sage advice Caranthir steps out the door.

He is deep in thought all the way to the courtyard beneath the Mindon, trying to find some serenity, however little, at the thought of meeting Tuilindien, and in preparation for it. Thus this time it is she who notices him first and comes to him with swift steps rather than the other way round.

'Carnistir.' She greets him with a smile full of light and delight and offers him her hand to kiss. He does, of course, gladly, and then tucks her hand under his arm as they begin walking.

'There is a small park we haven't visited yet', he says. It is even more awkward than he'd thought it would be to have gone back to this sedate strolling along city streets, walking with her on his arm as if she needs the support, and knowing that this is the most physical contact they can hope to have with each other today.

They are far from the only members of nobility taking a walk in the heart of the city. They even pass lady Maquetimië, that irksome gossipmonger who spread the knowledge of their first meeting to everyone who would listen.

The lady greets them, and Tuilindien returns the greeting. Carnistir tightens his hold on her to ground himself in the reality of her being there, trying to keep away from the feelings of irritation and anger that this particular courtier has aroused in him since he was a child, and all the more recently.

Maquetimië tries to start a conversation, but either Tuilindien doesn't have very warm feelings towards her either or she can sense his irritation, for she politely tells Maquetimië that very regretfully, they are in a hurry and cannot stop to chat – but they will surely see again at some court function soon, she adds, because that is how she is.

'Thank you', Carnistir murmurs to her once they've escaped Maquetimië's clutches, dearly hoping that they won't run into her again any time soon.

'I'm not prepared to waste a moment of being with you to idle chatter with anyone else', Tuilindien says with the smallest of blushes, and Carnistir wants to kiss that blush and make it deepen.

Not being able to tenses up the restless thing inside him again.

*

'I liked the trees in that park', Tuilindien says as they take their seats at a table outside the teahouse, also situated underneath some trees. 'They were older than this city, weren't they? Wild things rather than planted here by your industrious people.'

'I suppose so. I don't know for certain, though. You would have to ask my grandfather.'

'Perhaps I will, if I get the chance.' It is hardly an outrageous thing to say, but she still feels shy, curling her fingers around her teacup and holding it close.

'He will like you, you know', Carnistir says, sounding like's only just realising it, and relieved about it. It feels like the tension that has seemed to surround him today dissipates slightly. 'Grandfather Finwë doesn't have… prejudices. He has many friends among the Vanyar.'

She doesn't quite know what to say in reply to that, so she just smiles. There is a lull in their conversation, less comfortable and sweet than yesterday's touch-filled quiet moments, while they sip tea and nibble at cake. Or she nibbles, at least. Carnistir has already polished off his.

She steals glances at him, thinking that he looks very nice in his rather tight brownish-red shirt that compliments his dark looks.

In the quiet between them, in spite of the chatter of other teahouse customers, Tuilindien becomes aware of a quiet rustling sound that appears to come from some distance away. Looking around briefly, she sees nothing unusual. Carnistir appears distracted by the noise, but Tuilindien decides she has had enough of the somewhat awkward silence. She asks if he has set a time for a riding lesson with the twins already, since he said the day before that he would do soon.

'I'm thinking of doing it some day next week', he replies, shifting his concentration from the surrounding noises to her. His hand creeps closer to hers on the table. 'I haven't spoken to them about it yet, though. I should. They seem so restless still, though things with my father have mostly calmed down. I think they need more to occupy their time, really. When I was leaving home to come see you, they declared themselves bored and asked to come along even though –'

They hear the rustling again, this time louder, perhaps closer. Carnistir appears bothered by it, which Tuilindien finds odd – while his emotions are volatile, she has never seen him startled by a small thing such as this.

She remarks that there are probably some birds looking for crumbs or for berries in the bushes, and at that Carnistir's face turns red and he stands up suddenly.

'Wait here, Tuilë.' And then he is gone, his long strides carrying him away from her before she can do more than open her mouth in astonishment.

She watches as he walks past several tables to the bushes in the direction where the rustling sound came from and reaches into the foliage. There is a sudden cry of pain, and another, and then two red-headed little boys emerge and are grabbed none too gently by their ears by their big brother.

Tuilindien stands up and gathers her skirts and hurries to where Carnistir is now fuming at his brothers. If he is trying to do it quietly, he is failing utterly.

'Carnistir.' She touches his arm and he lets go of his brothers and turns to her. He is clearly attempting to rein in his fury, but she can still feel him shaking with it. So much anger, directed at children.

She speaks carefully. 'I see your little brothers also have a craving for delicacies on this day. Good afternoon, Pityafinwë and Telufinwë.' She greets them, nodding as calmly as she can, as if it is completely normal to discover little boys lurking in the bushes while their brother has tea with a woman he's courting.

The twins bow clumsily back to her, attempting to behave now that they have been reprimanded, though their faces and ears are red and they have tears in their eyes. In spite of their misbehaviour Tuilindien's heart goes out to them: they are so young and look so contrite and scared at being found out and at their brother's anger.

'Carnistir, I think your little brothers should join us.' She looks at him meaningfully. 'Since they are here already.'

He looks at her like she is crazy. 'Come on, Tuilë, they don't deserve it', he grinds out, and goes to grab her by the arm as if to take her aside to speak with her privately. But he seizes her too roughly and she hears herself make a little surprised noise of pain when his strong fingers dig into her arm and twist as he tries to make her turn aside.

At her pained sound Carnistir lets go of her at once. 'I'm sorry', he says quickly, horror bleeding into his voice and into their connection that neither is managing to control. 'Did I hurt you?'

'It is all right', she says reflexively and makes a point of not touching her arm where his fingers gripped her, though it smarts. She tries not to tremble.

'I'm so sorry', he says again, looking dazed.

A part of her wants to comfort him but she cannot quite bring herself to. 'Carnistir, I think we should go back to our table. With your brothers.'

'They were spying on us. They followed me even though I had forbidden them to come. Our parents must be afraid of where they've disappeared to, if they have found out that they're gone.'

In spite of his words his fury is mere embers now, and she knows she can talk him into doing as she wishes.

Working hard to keep her voice steady, she says, 'It was wrong of them, I agree, and you can chastise them more for it later when you go home. But now I think we should go back to our table. No need for a scene here, Carnistir.'

She speaks softly but Carnistir seems to realise that he is being reprimanded as much as the twins. 'I don't care about people staring. Let them stare, I'm already notorious', he says, but the words ring hollow.

His anger that had burnt red-hot seems to have disappeared in a cloud of shame and regret, less alarming than the rage but just as stifling in Tuilindien's mind. She tries to close their connection and concentrate on the children while appearing normal to any curious onlookers. She doesn't like wearing masks but she can do it when required.

'Carnistir', she says again.

He shakes his head, frowning – Tuilindien feels him distancing himself from her, like she tried to do as well – and then says quietly, dejectedly, 'Yes, let's go. Come on, Ambarussar.'

Tuilindien takes each little twin by the hand as they walk back to the table where their abandoned cakes have attracted the attention of a few bees. She gently encourages them to move elsewhere, then sits down and encourages the twins to do the same.

She looks up at Carnistir who is still standing uncomfortably by the table. The twins have seated themselves on either side of her.

Tuilindien asks, 'Carnistir, would you go get some cakes for your brothers? And another pot of tea as well.'

He flinches a little at her formal tone as if it is an insult, but doesn't protest. 'I'll also pay someone to take word to mother that they are safe', he says and goes into the teahouse.

Tuilindien lets out a little sight as she stirs her now-cold tea, tries to gather herself and thinks of how to use this short time she has gained alone with Carnistir's little brothers. In addition to it being the right thing to do, it is easier to think of them than of the budding panic she feels at how things with Carnistir have suddenly taken such a terrible turn.

'Do you two often follow your brothers?' she chooses to ask first. They have done it twice now to her and Carnistir.

Two red heads are shaken. 'They don't like it, and mother and father don't like either', says the twin on her left that she suspects might be the elder, Pityafinwë.

'Then why did you follow Carnistir today even though he told you not to?'

Both of the twins stare down so she cannot see their faces from where she is sitting between them.

'Look at me', she says gently but firmly, the same way she often speaks to the children she gives writing lessons to. At once two small faces look up at her, pale under the freckles but thankfully no longer tearful.

'Do you not like him seeing me?' She glances at either little boy in turn.

The twins look at each other and don't speak a word, but Tuilindien gets the definite impression that there is a conversation taking place.

'He doesn't spend as much time with us since he started seeing you', says the twin on the left after a moment.

'He used to take us with him to many places, but he doesn't do that so much anymore. He never lets us come along when he sees you. And he is busy all the time, and grumpy most of the time.'

'And he keeps his door locked now', adds the other. 'Tyelko and Curvo almost never let us into their rooms. Russandol does but he's away at the palace or somewhere a lot. We liked spending time in Moryo's room, and he helped us with our homework often.'

'He also often shouted at us and sometimes threw us out', adds the first twin as if in the name of honesty, 'but that's all right. He shouts at everybody, it's not dangerous.'

This is said in the name of family loyalty and innocent love both, Tuilindien thinks, or hopes at least.

'We just wondered what he does with you that is so important and so secret that he won't tell us', confesses the twin on the left after a moment. He seems to be the spokesman of the two. 'So we came to see, and also because we were so bored. And you were just talking and drinking tea.'

'Not even anything exciting', says the other twin and wipes his nose on the sleeve of his tunic. Automatically, Tuilindien hands him her napkin, and then Carnistir's napkin to the other boy.

As they blow their noses Tuilindien thinks of Carnistir's brothers and remembers that the only married one is Canafinwë, the second oldest of the seven; the twins must have been very young when he was courting his wife. She wonders if they realise why Carnistir keeps seeing her.

Carefully, she says, 'Sometimes when a young man and woman like each other, they want to spend time together even if they do not do anything exciting. And they like to be alone together.'

The twins are staring at their feet again so she doesn't know how much they understand of what she says. After a moment, the one on the left says, 'We are sorry we ruined your tea meeting.'

'I forgive you', replies Tuilindien. 'I am sure you have learned that it was the wrong thing to do to follow your brother without permission. But you will have to apologise to him too, even if it is scary because he gets so angry.'

'We will', say the twins in unison.

Tuilindien is afraid to ask, but she has to know, for she has been wondering ever since she saw Carnistir drag his brothers out of the bush and grab them so roughly. And then he touched her so roughly too, so differently from all other times... 'Does he – does Carnistir ever hit you when he is angry? Or hurt you in some other way?'

Two pairs of horrified blue-grey eyes stare up at her. 'He would never hit us! He sometimes shouts and curses and breaks things –'

'– by throwing them. And he slams doors, he once broke the door of the garden pavilion', adds the other twin helpfully.

'But he doesn't hit us or hurt us. Well, except when he drags us somewhere, like he dragged us out of that bush. But he didn't do it to hurt us, just to get us out of there.'

Tuilindien is relieved beyond words. She is still very much unnerved by his temper and thinks that he should not treat his little brothers as he does, but her graver concern at least seems unnecessary. She takes a few deep breaths to compose herself.

'Lady Tuilindien.' Small hands reach out to touch hers and two little faces look at her beseechingly. 'Please don't be angry with Moryo because of us. We didn't mean to cause him trouble, or you.'

'We do like you, lady Tuilindien', the other twin says. 'We think that it makes Moryo happy to spend time with you. Even if he is grumpy with us.'

Tuilindien thinks that these two have a very good heart, though if they are naughty sometimes. And it seems that young as they are, they might have some of their mother's famous insight and wisdom.

She squeezes their hands and says, 'There is no need to call me "lady", just call me Tuilindien or Tuilë.' She smiles at them gently, happy that the three of them got this far before Carnistir returns.

'You can call us Ambarussar.' The twins are all light and smiles now. 'Or you can call me Telvo and him', the boy on the left points at his twin, 'Pityo. Our father doesn't like it when we are called by the same name.'

Just as Carnistir returns balancing a treat-filled tray on each arm, Tuilindien tells the twins that she will call them by different names when it is necessary to refer to only one of them, but otherwise she is happy to use the name they have chosen to share. She believes in the right to choose one's own name.

Carnistir distributes cakes and pours tea while Tuilindien keeps chatting with the Ambarussar until the last traces of paleness and upset have faded from their faces.

He notices that she is now in turn pale, and the light conversation she makes with the twins doesn't hide her uneasiness though she tries her best to pretend that all is well.

It is very clear that she has forgiven the twins' intrusion and won their eternal devotion, and he can only hope that she will forgive him too although his transgression is greater.

Though the tense thing inside himself disappeared after it made him snap, he feels far from light; he is more ashamed than he has ever been in his life.

And he can feel, in the connection between them that is never completely shut off these days even when they do their best to close it off, that though she keeps up a conversation with the twins Tuilindien is unhappy and scared. That makes him utterly miserable as well, and afraid of what consequences his actions will have.

He doesn't know what he could say here that would make things better, so he drinks his tea and stays silent.

*

A/N: Warning: there is some mild violence in this chapter courtesy of those anger management issues of Carnistir's. It's not very intentional but it does happen.

Several people have noted in comments to various chapters that Carnistir has kept his temper impressively in check. Well, now the pressure got to be too much for him. Tuilindien has a strong reaction to it, because this pre-darkening Valinor is a very peaceful place with no violence to speak of, and thus even small acts of physical aggression have significance.

In the next chapter, the 'Angst' tag is justified.

Please let me know what you thought!

#it has been ages but here is a chapter! a long one #it's really late now so last edits may have resulted in some silliness #pls let me know if you notice any #silmarillion fanfiction #tolkien fanfiction #your spirit calling out to mine #caranthir #caranthir's wife #tuilindien #romance #my fics #elesianne's fics