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women-loving · 2 years

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do you have any advice for overcoming internalised biphobia? i... thought i was a lesbian for a long time but turns out im not purely gay. im bi... its like 90/10 ratio (90 being for women obviously) but still... its kindof... disheartening somewhat... for some reason i feel... less... proud about it... do you have any advice for getting over this? thank you

First of all I’m sorry it took me so long to answer this ask. I made a recent post about my absence from this blog, which will explain what took me so long. Maybe you don’t need my words anymore. Maybe you’re in a better place by now. I hope so.

But I’ve still thought about you a lot. And I’m still going to write you something, even if you maybe do not need it any more. Maybe circumstances have long changed. You can skip reading all of this if you don’t need it. Maybe there’s another woman like you who will want to read this.

I'm publishing this, encouraging any followers interested in offering their own advice to reblog and add anything they might have to say.

I'll just... say a lot of words, and you take what seems useful to you! It would be ridiculous to expect all advice to apply to every specific person. I hope something I say is helpful, and if it isn't, you can at least take heart knowing a bi women out there is thinking about you, wishing you well, put quite a bit of thought into trying to help you. I hope that at least offers you some comfort.

One option here is considering the root cause of your feelings and trying to address that. "For some reason" implies to me that you don't know why you're unhappy with being bisexual. And honestly, it is okay if you can't self-examine to a point where you know the root cause of your feelings. Too much self examination drags a person down. You don't need to know anything. You can live happily without having a deep understanding of yourself.

But maybe you do want to think about it a little and try to figure out why you feel unhappy.

I know for me, I feel can feel unhappy with my attraction to men because 1. they icky and 2. they treat women so poorly a lot of the time. Please note that extremely simplifies the issue, lol. Simple words for something big and complex.

And my personal solution to those two issues is to say "hey, who cares though? Just because I'm attracted to men doesn't mean I need to be romantically involved with them." And so the fact men are icky isn’t super relevant to me any more. I don't have to deal with their ickiness. I don't have to make them part of my life. I personally won't be treated poorly by a man in a romantic relationship because I won't be having a romantic relationship with a man.

Bisexual is who you are, yes. But how you live your life is in your control. You're not going to undergo some huge transformation... You're still wonderful, creative and imaginative you, and you can live however you like.

I snooped your blog a bit to get to know you a little better, and I see you are a writer. Oh, how wonderful to be bisexual and to be a writer. I'm sure the lack of seeing experiences like your's is hard, but you can write how you feel, you can create your own stories about bisexual women. When you're a writer, everything in life becomes something you can use for your stories. Even if you can't bring yourself to write now, if it hurts too much, you can use it. I'm a writer too, and I like to use some of my past painful experiences for inspiration.

Your passion can be your gift, and you can use it to get through so many difficult things. Us bisexuals who prefer women don't see ourselves reflected in a lot of art and writing. But we can make stories and prose that resonates with other women like us. If you wanted to, you could do something that really touches other women like you.

I have to admit, I myself am a bit of a coward in this regard. Sharing art online is scary! I'm sorry ladies!

If you do write anything about your bisexuality, I am begging you to let me know so I can reblog it. I want to read it! And I know it would mean so much to so many other women.

Maybe your displeasure with your sexuality comes from that, not seeing yourself in art. It's a lot easier to find stuff for lesbians then it is to find things for bi women who don't want to engage with men. But what we don't see, we can use our creative energy to make.

Another thing I want to touch on is the immense stress and anxiety so many women have with our sexuality.... I think to some level, there is too much fixation on it. I know I sound weird when I say that, I run a blog about bisexuality. But it's just a little piece of yourself, and you don't need to make it overtake everything about your life. Trying to let go of the stress can be a good idea.

Looking into mindfulness techniques, and learning how to feel an emotion and then release it instead of ruminating on it has been helpful to me personally.

Finally, maybe this is just me, but being bisexual does sincerely feel great and powerful. I feel like I can admire pretty people of all sorts. There aren’t nearly as many gorgeous men as there are women, but I can appreciate what they look like. I love being capable of loving any sex, and then making my own choice about who the best person is for me.

A lot of the women in their life, they seem to be oddly... helpless, to their sexuality. They have to have someone, they have to tolerate a terrible man because they’re attracted to him.... There is no “have to” though. We’re not confined to what our attraction says. We can all always choose the best person for us. We can also choose ourselves. We can focus on doing what we like without worrying about other people.

I really do feel like being bisexual is awesome... It can be hard for me to relate to true hatred of one’s bisexuality. I urge followers who have struggled with to share what helped them. For me, my sexuality has always been something I loved. I love being able to find anyone attractive, admiring all their best traits from afar, while dating the perfect person for me. Her and only her.

Even before I met finally met her, I was so happy to stay single and wait for her. Focus on bettering myself and my own life, and assuring that I have the best version of myself to offer her.

Well, that's all I can think of for now! I gave myself some time to think this over, so hopefully something in there is helpful. And if not, I hope maybe one of my followers might have some advice for you.

Good luck! Thank you for having the strength to reach out to someone. I truly do wish you well, and I hope any woman who is struggling with this and is reading this right now will one day feel better too.

#original #ask

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buckyhoney · 3 years

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𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐛.𝐛

a/n: repost from library account, thank you to everyone for switching over to my primary account! means loads! xx

pairing: bucky barnes x virgin!reader

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! however, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

18+ warning

warnings: 18+, language, oral (f), fingering, unprotected sex

buck would be the most attentive person during your first time.

he would find out that you haven't had sex before from piecing together the fact you would always stop him by coming up with an excuse to go home or half-ass reason to go.

till one day you guys are making out on his couch and he finally comforts you about it, he is super nervous to bring it up not wanting to offend or embarrass you. "are you a virgin?" he'd just rip the bandaid off and you're freeze, heat filling your cheeks and an intense to cover your face overtakes you.

you would shake your head slowly and bucky also is frozen, but he sweetly says "okay, i just wanted to make sure that i didn't do something to make you uncomfor-" you would kiss him again.

"you are perfect, i just- i didn't know how to tell you- it's not something you can just blurt out" you shyly say.

he would make sure that your first time wasn't something forced or unplanned.

bucky would make sure that you're comfortable and feeling your best.

he would plan a whole night where you come over to his place you'd watch movies and have take out, something casual so there is no pressure- but still romantic and sweet.

you would start to make out on the couch and bucky would suggest going back to his room. you nod hesitantly from nerves. when you walk into the bedroom, it is dimly lit and there are candles surrounding the nightstands and dresser. you look up at him wanting to cry from how sweet the gesture was.

he'd began to kiss you gently, but soon it turns more eager and passionate. you feel a knot turning in your stomach and you match the passion and eagerness. bucky slides his hand underneath your shirt pausing for you okay. you nod into the kiss, feel your shirt slide up. you felt insecure about how you looked, bucky made sure that he showed you just how much he loved it- every single inch.

he removes his shirt and pants before you removed yours. not breaking the kiss, he walks you back to the mattress. he hovers over top of you and begins to kiss down your body. starting at your jaw, down your neck till he got to the tops of your panties.

he is WORSHIPING your body, kissing what feels like every inch of you, praising you up, and down

"have you touched yourself before?" he askes, you could feel his breath on your skin. you nod, "show me how you like it, darling, i need to get you nice and warmed up" he kisses your inner thighs before taking them off.

you begin to move your fingers over your flit mimicking how you'd touch yourself when alone. bucky then replaces your fingers, the initial contact made the arousal drip from your aching hole. breathy moans slip past your teeth, not wanting to be loud, but bucky loved them. "i love the pretty little sounds you make, makes me wanna cum just hearing them"

after warming you up from rubbing small circles around your clit and light kisses around your inner thigh, bucky pushes a finger inside. a whimper falls from you, just one of his fingers is bigger than your two you usually fill yourself with. bucky's pumps are slow, stretching you and feeling just how ready you are for him.

bucky's kisses get closer to your soaking center. his finger still pumping slowly. his tongue licking up the rest of your arousal. he adds another finger, you're a whimpering moan mess. the fullness of just his fingers scared you for how it will feel when he enters you.

"you taste just as sweet as imagined," he is attacking your clit and pumping into you at a faster pace, it's like you're his last meal. "so good, baby"

you feel the familiar knot in your stomach growing and bucky can feel the pulsing around his fingers, he doesn't or slow down. this sends you hurdling into your orgasm. you grip the neatly spread comforter, balling them in your firsts. your hips buck against bucky's fingers and mouth

"good girl, darling"

when you come down from your high, bucky strips the rest of his clothes. your eyes widen at the sight of his fully hardened cock. he chuckles at your reaction, he brings his lips back to yours. his hands caress your breasts, squeezing and kneading them- earning more moans from you. he's cooing at how beautiful you looked against your lips.

"ready? if you're uncomfortable in any way- please say something, darling" you nod as he spreads your legs, moving between them. he positions himself at your core. bucky pumps himself a few times before he slides the tip in between your folds. you inhale sharply, as he pushes just the tip in.

your mouth hangs open and your back arches, he holds himself for a moment allowing you to get acclimated to his size. He pushes himself half away and your eyes are rolling back.

bucky is ready to burst just on how tightly you feel around him and the fact you're still pulsing around him. your arms wrap around his torso, clawing at him to be closer.

he grunts as he completely fills you. your body feels like it's going to overheat with how much pleasure is soaring through you. "you're doing so well, honey," "you feel so good around me"

the thrusts are slow and deep, feeling all of you. your second orgasm is quickly approaching as he adds the sensation of your clit. "you did so good baby, taking all of me, im so proud of you," he moans into your ear, still kissing alongside your neck and jaw.

bucky follows quickly behind you, filling you up. you're laying on the mattress, bodies tangle together in nirvana.

you're feeling incredibly sore as the adrenaline wears off

the aftercare is IMPECCIBLE. he has everything you could possibly need. he wipes off the cum that spills from your center, cleans you off, peppers kisses all over, has snacks, water, wine, extra comfort clothes, everything you could need.

fucking hell

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan x y/n

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ellovett · 3 years

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list of people that made this year pretty neat :)

Hi all

Ok so 2020's almost ending (it just ended i started writing this post like....5 days ago??) and i just wanted to do this thing where i have a message towards everyone who supported me/who i think are just very cool and very epic, i only really got into the twst fandom just at the beginning of the year and im just gonna get straight to the point now messages are under the cut :)

@permanentlyexhaustedowl - AYAAAA ;;;;; bro you're literally one of my first long time friends here in the twst community and i just want to thank you for everything, our convos in either public servers or in pms, your love and support for my content,,or whenever i vent to you,,,,,just- your love and support man i appreciate it so much and i cannot thank you enough, you're just so sweet and caring and supportive and friendly just aghhhhhh ;;;;; even your reblogs make me smile uncontrollably and i explode, also all the brainrots i have about my interests ;;; thanks for listening to all of them,,even tho you really didnt have to ;;;;;; I love how we make our twst ocs interact and the little brainrots we have with them ;;; You've helped me so so so much and in so many ways, I am beyond glad that we're bestfriends, you're one of the nicest most caring people ive ever met and i love you so so so much, beyond belief ;; 💕 pls never stop being you?????? You quacking amazing person??????? 😎🤙💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

@shoujoqueensstuff - AYYYY SHOUJOOOO!!! 😎🤙🤙 hhhh you're also one of the first people ive ever had a long time friendship with here in the twst community, and seriously bitch i love you so much ;;; so so much..i cant go a day without talking to you about literally anything and just vibing, the support and love you've given me over these months is insane i cannot thank you enough for that, all of our rps, convos or just pure brainrot have been so much fun, and i fucking love it that we built our own little world outside of canon,,all the aus we built with our ocs???? I love them. I love them all to death, including your amazing ocs, and even tho we live on literally opposite sides of the world you're always there for me whenever i vent or when im feeling extremely down or insecure ;; ,,im just so so so happy and glad that i met you and that we're bestfriends, i care about you so so so so so much- hhhh i cant put it into words my brain is dying i just- i LOVE YOU BIITCH, I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH.😎💖💕💖🤙🤙💕💕💖💕 TAKE MY LOVE BITCH 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much for sticking around ;; i love you and support you in everything you do so much I could never ever thank you enough for the friendship you've given me..

I can literally go forever on how much i love and appreciate the both of you, i can just scream into the void for all eternity,,but i cant put it into words anymore. You both made my year so great and so epic ;;; i love you guys so much

Now the chaddams 😌

@thetwstwildcard - hi ma :D you're just so cool and so epic lizz ;;; i cant- all of our conversations and brainrots have been super fun and i enjoy your company very much;;; you are just so nice and friendly,, and your ocs (especially staff ocs) are god tier amazing, i will love the nrc mom squad to death. I am honored to be ur child and i love you and father claude (and my four (?) other dads you married) very much 💕💕💕

@alpyssketch - bringer of father claude,,,,i owe you my life alpy,,,,,,but no seriously you're also a very epic person and you're honestly so nice and sweet!!! You never fail to make me feel welcome in any conversation and you're just so damn friendly!!! We may not talk that often but I very much enjoy your company ;;; ily!!! 💖💖💖

@multi-ankin - another very cool and epic person!!!! you're very fun to talk to and you're also pretty funny in the vc fjfjfj, your ocs are all so amazing too! (djdjjd although my staff oc bias makes me go for kas) we should totally talk and make our ocs interact more in the future tho!!!!!! 💖💖

@just-patchy - pATCHYYY!!!! :D hi!!!! you're also a very cool person!! our interactions have been so much fun and i hope we can have more in the future ;;; the ideas you have for your ocs and how you put them into writing is so good!!! like really good!!! And your art has been greatly improving too!!! Never ever think that i dont see you as a friend because i do!! 😤😤💖💖 i care about you bro!! Never forget that!!

@bakujho - :D hi jho!! you're a lot of fun! And I THINK YOU ARE SO DAMN COOL AND BADASS it's unbelievable,,i look up to you jho i wish i could be almost as cool as you when i grow up ;;; the things you've done for this fandom are also very admirable! like the whole gravedigging (jellyfish) situation! But we're not gonna talk about it now- hhhhh you're just so epic jho ;;; seriously 💗💗

@Kurui - hhhhh you're probably not gonna see this ;;; and i cant find your tumblr (if any of the other chaddams could possibly show this to her thatd be so great ;;;) but nonetheless i still think you're just so fun and cursed ;;; and you give so many amazing ideas!!! Your ocs are all also so cool too! Your art is just so detailed you clearly put a lot of thought into them i just admire that sm ;; (also your edits are extremely cursed and epic i love them dearly-)

@twst-the-royals - JULIE :))) HELLO,,,you were actually the first ever person i spoke/interacted with in the fandom! And you were just so nice and friendly and patient with me ;;; im glad that i got to talk to you,,and we dont really talk that much now but pls pls PLEASE know that i care about you so much and that i support you in everything you do ;;; 💖💖💗💖 ill do my best to make you proud!!

@girl-in-the-tower - hey Az!!! ;;;; you're so epic and cool,,honestly i admire you so much, the lore/writing you have for your ocs/fanschools are just so well thought out and so well written ;;; i hope to become a better writer like you in the future, but for now ill just take notes and learn from you ;; you're super encouraging and supportive too!!! I know we dont talk much but i could never thank you enough for all those little yet meaningful moments ;;; 💖💖

@rikanoctrix and @mirrored-pomefiore - hi!!! i know we arent that close but just know that you two are huge inspirations for me when it comes to art, the both of you draw your styles so incredibly well and i admire that so so so much ;;; 💖

@ocean-water-tea - FATHER TEAAAAA QAQ okay so first of all,,,,how can you draw so well using ibispaint, i ask for tips, specifically on how to draw hair and tits 🤲 but seriously though you are so fun to talk to!!! So cursed!!! So ☊⊑⏃⍜⏁⟟☊!!! You encourage me to my true cryptid self (despite aya's protests 👀) and i thank you kindly,,,you are also very funny 😌 a funny little clown simp, and you're super friendly and cheerful too! I almost never feel nervous when reaching out to you ;;; I hope we can have more wacky adventures in the future 💖💖

@zonamemoryverse - HEYYY ZONAAA!!! you're a fairly new person and you've already come so far ;;; you're a very chaotic person to talk to and i enjoy all of our conversations!!! Also our interactions with our ocs were super fun too, and i love hearing any shred of content i can get from ur epic ocs,,,dont stop being epic!!! 💖💖

@namelessfish - Hi fish!!! :DD you've been a very supportive friend to me over these past few months,,and im happy i have someone i can relate my not-so-great experiences with ;;; please know that i care about you dearly and that ily ;; 💖💖💖💖

---

@wondersbeyondcompare - JFFJJF BRO DONT THINK I DONT SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU REBLOG MY CRINGY ASS POSTS 👁👁 I SEE THEM AND I CHERISH THEM ALL I REREAD THEM ON SAD DAYS. All the little tags and comments you put on them always make me smile so hard ;;; im just very happy to know that you like whatever the hell im doing and it pushes me to do more!! You're incredibly sweet, dont worry!!! Ill be sure to make you proud!!!! 😭💖💖💖

@circuscarnage - Anna!!!! We dont talk that often but whenever we do it's always so much fun ;;; you're so sweet and i appreciate you so much ;; all the stuff you drew for my ocs are all so incredibly cute and i really have to give back- jUST YOU WAIT ANNA. IM GONNA MAKE FANART OF YOUR LOVELY OCS AND YOU CANT STOP ME- 💖💖💖💖

@twistedapple - hi crow!! :DD again we dont really talk that much but i support you greatly in everything you do!!! You're another epic and cool writer ;;; your writings for your ocs are just sooooo well written and are just so good!! You're also super good at art too!! And i hope to see more from you in the future!!! ;;; 💖💖💖💖

@not-twst-enough - Ellie!!!! ;;; bro you've been supporting me from the very start, from lillet's old ass bio to now, and i very much appreciate it!!!! You're also super friendly in the twst server too ;;; and all the content you have for your ocs is just so exciting! Good luck with the fandorm and all future stuff ;;; ily!!!! 💖💖💖

@fumikomiyasaki - FUMI. DONT THINK I DIDNT FORGET YOU DKDKDK,,,Another cool and amazing person!!! All our brainrots and conversations have been really fun ;;;; thank u for that,, You are very fun person to interact ocs with tho!!! Especially with ships!! MadScientist² will forever hold a place in my heart.,,,💖💖💖

@oiseaunoir11 - hey Al!! :) you were one of the many people i admired and looked up to when i first joined the fandom, your art is something im deeply inspired by and your shitposts at like...4 am in the morning always give me the big funny,,one thing i really admire about ur art tho is how you'd draw backgrounds :0 you've gotten so good at them!! And your poses look super natural and effortless, i hope to be almost of a better artist like you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ also i cant wait to see ur animatics 👀 they look dope- hope we can talk or maybe even interact ocs more! 💖💖

@leonasbitties - luuuu :))) hiiii,,,we dont usually talk on servers that often but that doesnt mean that i dont consider you as a friend! You have a lot of super cool ideas for ocs and your art is just getting better and better and better with each piece!!!! i look forward to seeing more from you ;;; 💖💖💖

@peteza-mozzarella - PETEEE :DDD another very cool and friendly person, you're literally the sweetest person ive ever talked to and i love our little chats!!! Hhhh you're just super nice and your ocs are super cute,,please never stop being you you epic bean ;;;; 💖💖💖💖

@the27th - Hi Andhra!!!!! You've been quite the long time mutual,,and your reblogs always make my day ;;; you're just so sweet and kind and i always feel at ease when talking to you, the hunger games sessions you host are always super fun even though im often asleep to even participate 😂 thank you sm for the love and support ;;; ill be sure to give them all back to you 💖💖 starting now 💗💗💗💗💗

@mamushroomoracorn - MAMUSH :DD we've only really started talking recently but you're just so nice and friendly ;;;; all of our talks have been so wholesome and great and im so happy about that, and your art is really really really good!! Ur art style is just so unique and so cool!!! ;;;; and dw mamush,, ill show the froggies like i promised soon 😔💖💖💖

@rookvonhunt - HEYYYY 👉😎👉 hi hello i would die for your ocs. If theyd ask me to perish then i will 200%,,ur so epic and cool and all of your ocs are just god-tier, i cant wait for what else you have to offer!!!! 💖💖

@lawlessofdusk - lawless ;;;; aaaaa honestly you're just so kind and sweet, i couldnt thank you enough for all the love and support you've given me!!! And i desperately need more content of ur ocs bc they're all so cool and interesting 😤😤😤💖💖💖 i hope to talk to you more soon!!!!

Fkfjfjfj i think that's all!! Id like to thank you all for sticking around with me with my first year in the fandom ;;; you guys make all the bullshit and drama here worth it 💖💖💖

If i forgot to include you in here then PLEASE DM ME I AM SO SORRY-!!!! I dont want to leave anyone behind!!! So please feel free to confront me about it ;;; happy new year everyone!!!!

#admin post #oooo also feel free to tag any of ur mutuals in ur reblog too!!! make them feel loved yeah?

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farfromtommy · 4 years

Text

test of time (bucky barnes x fem!reader)

not my gif

summary: you worked alongside abraham erskine to create the super soldier serum given to steve rogers. after the death of dr. erskine you were recruited by shield to aid the war against hydra. you worked alongside peggy carter, howard stark, and the united states military. you were on the brink of perfecting the new serum when hydra had caught wind and you were kidnapped and forced to work for them.

a/n: okay wow. i think i broke my own heart writing this. i am so in love with how it turned out and really surpised myself with the way i wrote this. im so so proud of this. i think its probably some of my best work. please reblog and share it with your friends and show it some love <3

warnings: my attempt at writing angst, angst some more angst and then some fluff in between a little more angst and a happy(ish) ending!!! a few swear words

word count: 4,500

masterlist!

add yourself to my taglist HERE!

Pain is all he felt.

He could feel it from the bottom of his feet to the roots of his hair.

He squeezed his eyes and could feel the ache in his head spread. He stretched his limbs as best he could from the small bed he was confined to. He opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room he was trapped in.

“I’m relieved you’re still with us. You had me worried for a moment.” A voice came from behind him. You walked around to his line of sight and gave him a small smile. He searched your face over and over again and could not understand where he was or who you were.

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I used to work with you, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark once upon a time. We met during the war.” He continued to stare at you. Not quite being able to place who you were. “It’s okay if you don’t remember me or anyone I mentioned, I suppose it’s a good thing if you don’t” You smiled sadly.

“I feel like somewhere deep down I know you but I don’t know how to find it.” He whispered.

“Do you know what your name is?” You asked him with a serious tone.

“I think my name is James? I don’t really know. Every time I try and think about anything I just feel pain in my head. Everything is there but it's so far out of my grasp and I can’t get it. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” He whimpered and looked at you.

“I do understand, James. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry about this. Please don’t try and remember this. I want you to remember the good things about me.” You looked down at him with guilt spread across your face. “He’s not ready. Prepare him for another wipe.” You spoke into a microphone hidden in your sleeve and walked away.

“Y/N? Y/N?! What is happening? Please help me. I need help!” He thrashed against his restraints.

“Please!”

He woke again but this time he was in a cell. There was nothing but walls and metal bars surrounding him. He moved his legs and groaned at the pain that shot through them. He looked down at his lap and saw one flesh hand and a metal one. He felt as though he should be afraid, but he felt nothing.

“Asset. Good morning.” A voice came from the other side of the bars in front of him. “I know it may feel weird, but can you lift your left arm?” You came closer to the bars and squatted down to his level. You were dressed in an all-black tactical suit. He lifted it and moved his fingers. He continued to move it around, getting a better look at the metal limb he was now sporting.

“What happened to my arm?” He asked, trying to gain better control of it.

“You sustained major injuries to it. It was amputated and you were given a fully functional prosthetic. I’m pleased to see you are taking to it well. It seems you are ready for the next phase.” You stood and continued to look at him.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Longing.” You spoke in Russian. Immediately Bucky twitched and his hands turned into fists. You pressed your lips together and backed from the cell and walked away.

“Is he set for phase 3?” You were met with a booming voice when you entered the room.

“Yes, I do believe Bu- … the Asset is ready for phase 3. He did not seem to recognize me or remember anything that happened before the wipe. It was successful. I believe the trigger words have been successfully programmed and should be ready for use.” You said, your fingers fiddling together behind your back.

“You’ve done an excellent job. Now, since you are an expert in this particular field I do believe you will be an excellent addition to this project. Thank you for everything you have contributed to the program Miss Y/L/N. We’d better get started.” You felt strong hands grab your body and pull you into the chair you saw Bucky in before. The metal restraints locked themselves around you and you struggled against them.

“Please don’t do this. You can’t make me one of them! You need me! How do you expect me to help you when you’ve wiped everything from my head?” You cried out.

“We’ll know exactly how to get what we need out of you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us Y/N. We look forward to what comes next.” You screamed out for Bucky before your whole world went black.

“What’s a beautiful lady like you doing at a dump like this?” You turned and were met with the bluest eyes you’d ever seen. You had recognized him from around the base you were stationed at. He was a friend of Steve’s.

“I worked with the scientist who created the serum given to Captain Rogers and now my brain is being picked apart by anyone who can get to me.” You chuckled dryly and took another sip of your wine. You looked at him over your glass and a playful smile graced his face.

“Well I’m not trying to pick apart your brain like everyone else is trying to, I promise. I just thought you could use a little company. And I happen to be great company” He said to you, getting closer. “James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.” he offered his hand for you to shake.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” you shook his hand and smiled at him.

“Well darling, do you think you could spare this poor soldier a dance?” He kept his grasp on your hand and stood from the barstool next to you. “I’m sure I could spare a few minutes.” You giggled and let him guide you to where many others were dancing.

He pulled you close to him and kept one hand in yours and the other one on your lower back. You giggled as he led you across the floor and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. “How did you know I’m a sucker for a lady in red?” He asked. He looked down at your perfectly painted red lips and a red dress that did wonders for you.

“How did you know I’m a sucker for a man in uniform?” You smirked.

“I guess we’re pretty perfect for each other huh?” He whispered in your ear and pressed you impossibly closer to his body. You exhaled a bit feeling like you could float with this man wrapped around you.

The weeks following your evening with Bucky were some of the best of your life. You were in an impossible situation but having him encouraging you and supporting you was all you needed.

When you went missing Bucky felt his world damn near crashing down on him. He felt helpless and begged Steve to help him find you. Everyone who knew had a feeling it was HYDRA who had taken you. You were the only one who knew Dr. Eskrine’s formula for the serum and had it almost perfect.

Not long after you had been taken, Bucky fell from the train. He had been brought in by the same people who had you. They somehow knew about you and Bucky and you were forced to recreate the serum to save him after his fall. They used your love for him against you and did everything they could to make sure you cooperated.

Everything that happened to him was your fault. You never should’ve done it. Maybe if they killed you both it would be easier you always thought. You never thought they’d do the same thing to you.

Your eyes flew open as you threw yourself around in the restraints you were in. You searched the room for anything that could get you out. You remembered what they had done. They wiped you clean or tried to at least. You were there but there was a fog you couldn’t shake, but you couldn’t let them know that. You still knew who you were and what you were doing, but couldn’t remember the name of the dog you had growing up or what color dress you wore the day you met… uh.

Shit.

“Asset.” a voice spoke. “Ready to comply.” You spoke without thinking. You searched for the origin of it but could only turn your head so far. You weren’t in the same chair you had been in before. And you were… cold. Why were you so cold?

“Welcome to the year 2014, asset. We’re glad to have you.” 2014? You thought. It had to be some kind of joke. You stared at the man now standing in front of you.

“We have been so eager to wake you up and see what they said you were capable of doing. Apparently, alongside our other asset, you both are unstoppable. I want to test that theory out.” He said, looking through a book that had been handed to him.

“Y/N Y/L/N, former partner of Dr. Abraham Erskine, S.H.I.E.L.D recruit specializing in the creation of the serum given to Captain Steve Rogers. With the near successful recreation of the serum following the death of Dr. Erskine, Y/L/N was captured by Hydra to create the serum for themselves. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes was the first test subject given the recreated serum and with the success of the memory suppressing machine and the help of Y/N Y/L/N and Vasily Karpov, the new fist of Hydra was born.” the man looked up and saw no change in your expression as he continued reading.

“Y/L/N was the second subject given the serum and put through memory suppression, however not to the extent Barnes had been subjected to. Karpov had brainwashed Y/L/N as well, creating trigger words for her that would allow anyone with access to them to have unlimited access to anything she had knowledge of. Both Barnes and Y/L/N went through rigorous training to become weapons known as The Winter Soldiers.” Your eyes continued to stare at him, trying to keep up with everything he was saying.

“Both excelling at hand-to-hand combat, skilled on all kinds of firearms and weapons, expert marksman. Due to the serum, they both have shown to have similar traits to Captain Rogers. Semi-immortality, superhumanly enhanced strength, speed, reflexes, healing, stamina, and agility.” He shut the book and looked you dead in the eyes.

“James Buchanan Barnes and Y/N Y/L/N are the leaders of the most elite death squad in Hydra history.” Your breath staggered the tiniest bit as you listened to the words spilling out of his mouth. “It really is an honor to meet you Miss Y/L/N. My name is Alexander Pierce. Reading about you and the things you and Barnes have accomplished together really has me looking forward to you two working together again.” He stood and stared down at you. “I understand you have your own set of trigger words but according to these documents, you should still be under the control of them. So let’s go ahead and get to work, shall we?” He motioned to have your restraints released. You were pulled out of the container you were in and shown to where you would grab your gear.

The part of you trained to do this was controlling your body and actions while your mind was trying to keep up with all the information that had flooded it. You and Bucky were leaders of a death squad?

For the last 70 years?

And you had no memory of any of it?

“Asset. Follow me.” Another voice boomed from the entrance to the room you were in. You were getting really tired of the random people yelling at you. You had somehow grabbed everything you needed without thinking, muscle memory apparently. You were led into a room with who you learned was Alexander Pierce and some tough-looking guys who could probably snap you in half, well maybe not anymore.

The orders had been given to apprehend 2 rogue S.H.I.E.L.D agents and their ally, one of whom you learned was Steve. You figured Howard found a way to keep him alive after all these years. After losing the only way to recreate the serum, Steve was all they had. You figured out that they had used cryogenics to keep you both alive the past 70 years. Freezing you when you weren’t needed to keep you from aging and unfreezing when something had to be done.

“Barnes will be there once they are located and will assist in the extraction of Rogers, Romanoff, and their friend. Once they are apprehended we will arrest them as S.H.I.E.L.D operatives, not Hydra. After that, we will go to a secure location. You do not kill them until we have them in our custody. Do you understand?” A man spat in your face. You looked him dead in the eyes and gritted out “Understood.”

Your eyes and face were protected and completely covered. You were wearing a thick kevlar suit with many weapons attached to the utility belts you were wearing and your hands were covered up to the knuckles with leather gloves. You knew you had to follow instructions, but finding Bucky and getting Steve’s help was the only way you were going to get out of this.

The next few minutes went by in a flash. You found yourself on top of a car speeding down a highway, ripping someone out of the window, and throwing them into oncoming traffic.

Sorry about that. You thought.

Suddenly you were holding a gun up to Steve Rogers and shooting him down the highway and into the street below. You looked over the edge to find the redhead that was with them, Romanoff, you remembered. With a look over the edge, your glasses were hit with a bullet and you fell to the ground.

So much for those. You ripped them off and looked over the edge to see her running. You were ready to drop down to get to Steve when you heard a familiar voice come from behind. “I’ve got her. You get him.” someone said in Russian and dropped down to the street. You almost dropped dead right there but knew you had to keep going for both of your sakes.

You watched from afar as Bucky’s mask was ripped off and he faced Steve.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” you heard him speak and then he was gone. Steve, Romanoff, and their friend had been surrounded and you stood behind them as they were being cuffed and put into vans.

Bucky, thats right. Bucky. Bucky. Bucky.

You were in charge of making sure they weren’t trying anything. You breathed out a sigh of relief, climbing into the truck, your mask still on your face. You stood at the door of the truck and watched as the redhead was bleeding out and Steve was explaining to his friend about what he had seen. Did he think Bucky was dead? Did he think you were dead? Had he not heard about everything you two had done?

All of a sudden one of the guards had taken out the other one and a gun was pointed at you. Your hands were on yours pointed back at them as they removed their helmet and kept their eyes on you.

“This is gonna end one of two ways so I hope you choose the right way and let us go.” The woman spoke as she kept her eyes trained on you. Your hair had fallen in front of your face and you dropped your weapon, relieved that she was most likely here to help Steve.

You slowly lifted your head and brought your hand up to your face to remove your mask, she looked at you as you tore it off and looked at Steve.

“Y/N? Oh dear God, this day cannot be getting any weirder.” Steve shut his eyes and hung his head. “What the hell is happening right now?” He whispered.

“You know her too? What the fuck?” the man questioned.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Right? You were a S.H.I.E.L.D agent back in the 40s and helped recreate the serum they gave Steve before you were captured by Hydra and presumed dead.” the woman said to you.

“Yes and I need your help, Steve. I can’t explain right now we need to find a way out and I can explain later but I swear to you I’m a good guy. All my weapons are off of my person and you can put me in one of those restraints you have on and question me. Please.” You looked at him and practically dropped to your knees. “I know you guys don’t believe me but I know what they did to me and Bucky. I can tell you everything.” You looked around at all of them as they looked at each other.

“You wear restraints and you listen to us and answer our questions. You try anything and I’ll have no problem blowing your brains out. We have to do this now we don’t have a lot of time.” She said. You shook your head quickly and looked at Steve, he clenched his jaw and gave you an unsure look.

“You are the most highly trained assassin to ever exist and up until now have been nothing short of a ghost story. Most of the intellegence community doesn’t even believe you exist. Why do this now?” Natasha asked you.

“I remembered. When they woke me up from the cryogenic sleep some of my memories had come back. I knew who I was and what had happened to me. I remember Bucky and the night I met him and everything we did on that army base. I remember Howard and Peggy and all the work we did back then. I remember everything they forced me to do when they found Bucky after he had fallen. I uh. I remember the moment they restrained me and knocked me out. The only thing not there is the past 70 years.” You looked at all the eyes staring back at you.

“Alexander Pierce unfroze me and read off everything they had written about Bucky and I and it wasn’t there. I have no memory of anything past when they strapped me to the chair after Bucky’s trials were successful. They gave me my mission to capture you guys and when they said Steve Rogers, I guess I knew what I needed to do.” You smiled a little at Steve.

“How were they able to control your mind?” Steve hesitated, not really wanting to know the answer.

“The Soviet Union and Hydra created this device called the memory supressing machine. They hook you up to it to your head and basically fry the memories out of your head. They did it to Bucky and made me make sure it worked. When they knew didn’t remember anything, they programmed him with the trigger words. Once those trigger words are there and are recieted, he became completley obedient and would carry out any task told to. When they saw it worked for him, they did it to me. I’m assuming they wiped us after each mission so we wouldn’t remember.” you grimaced and looked at your hands.

“I don’t understand, what changed for you? Why do you all of a sudden remember everything from before and are aware? Why didn’t this happen to Bucky?” Steve asked.

“I think it’s because they didn’t put me through the memory suppressing machine as they did to Bucky. They needed the memories of my work with Erskine and S.H.I.E.L.D. My memories were more valuable than his. They figured if they injected me with the serum and trained me like him, I’d be him but smarter.” You answered.

“Which makes you more dangerous,” Natasha said. You looked at her and nodded your head.

“How do we know that they aren’t going to say the words to you and you turn back into the assassin you have been for 70 years?” Sam pointed out and crossed his arms.

“Because they don’t know the words. Alexander Pierce didn’t create them, so he doesn’t know. Those men he has fighting for him don’t know. Those words control the 2 deadliest people on the planet, they don’t just hand them out to everyone on an index card and are like here you go! Have fun!” Fury sat up from his bed and walked over to where you were gathered. “That notebook containing all that information is probably locked away with whoever did this to you and will never fall into anyone else's hands.” He sat down in front of you and you pressed your back against your chair. He released your restraints and threw them to the side. “You’ve been in there the whole time but something had to bring you out. Maybe Barnes did something. But if you were able to revert partially, there may be a way to get him back, too. But you need to help us.” He stood up slowly and made his way next to Hill.

Steve brought himself next to you and took your hands in his. He closed his eyes and just held onto them. You closed yours and brought him into a hug, the first one you’ve had in probably 70 years. You felt the tears sting the back of your eyes but didn’t dare to let them fall.

“Steve?” You whispered.

“Yeah?” He pulled back and looked at you.

“What color dress was I wearing the night I met Bucky? When we danced all night until my feet couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Red. Bucky has always been a sucker for a woman in blue but that night he saw you in that red dress he said he would never want to see you in any other color ever again. Always told me that he’d make you his wife with you in that red dress if he ever got the chance.” He chuckled, remembering the exact moment you were asking about. You gave a watery laugh almost hearing those words come out of his mouth.

“We’re going to get him back, Y/N. I give you my word.” He said pulling your chin up to meet his eyes. You nodded and gave him another bone-crushing hug.

“I’m sorry to ruin your moment guys but, Y/N? Do you mind telling us more of what you’re capable of so we know exactly what to expect with Barnes.” Sam asked, pulling up a chair next to Steve. You nodded and got to work.

“What happened to him?” You asked looking down at the unconsious man on the table next to you. You knew he was important to you. He was on most missions with you and always had your back.

“Just a little slip up during the mission. He will be okay, just needs to recover before we wipe him and put you under again.” A man said and walked away from you, leaving you looking at the man on the table. He stirred a little and looked around and was met with your face he had always been relieved to see.

“You’re okay, just need to rest before we go back under. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. I should’ve been there.” You whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“Y/N?” He choked out. Your head snapped up to meet his eyes and you stumbled back.”W-what? What did you say? Y/N?” You babbled. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to him. You just held on and stared at him, trying to find anything that would help you. You felt a pang in your heart and it started to race.

“Is he ready for the wipe, soldier?” You stepped back and regained the composure you had. “Yes sir. These assets are ready for wipe and refreeze.” You ordered. You backed up out of sight from the other person in the room and locked eyes with the man on the table.

He was begging you to help him with his eyes and all you could do was mouth sorry. He nodded his head a little before the wipe began. All you could hear were his screams of pain while you were pulled away to the cryo chamber. They must’ve not needed to wipe you. Maybe I’ll wake up and know what to do, you thought.

Your mind was repeating the name the asset had called you, trying to find where it came from.

I’m Y/N. That’s.. Bucky? Why is Bucky here? Bucky was on the table. You’re Y/N, that’s Bucky. Oh my god, Bucky!

You shook in the chamber as you felt yourself grow cold and all you could do was whisper,

“Bucky! Please it’s me! It's Y/N! You know who I am.” You said pointing a gun at him.

“No, I don’t!” You dodged the punch he threw at you with ease.

“Buck I know you’re in there! You just need to let us help you!” Steve yelled, trying to stand up.

“Shut up!!!” Bucky screamed, knocking Steve down with another punch. You ran up behind him, stumbling as the helicarrier was exploding around you. You jumped on his back and put him in a headlock and you did everything you could to incapacitate him. You felt his arm grab you and flip you over his head and onto your back.

Steve’s shield fell to the waters below and you watched as they fought. Steve fell as falling debris broke the glass beneath him and you screamed from where you were. You somehow managed to knock Bucky out and fell into the water with him as you searched for Steve. You pulled Steve and Bucky out of the water and laid in the mud as Bucky regained consciousness.

“Asset. We need to go, now. Do you understand? We’ve been compromised and we need to disappear.” You hurried him to his feet and threw his arm around your shoulders. “Understood.” As you walked away from Steve, you turned back and thought of everything he’d want you to do to save Bucky.

Days had gone by and you and Bucky had found a place in Canada to stay in for a few weeks until you could figure out what to do next. You couldn’t go back to Steve and Natasha. They wouldn’t be able to help him like you can and wouldn’t let you. You knew they meant well but they would tie you both up and treat you like prisoners. You had been a prisoner for too long and needed to do this yourself.

After a few weeks, you had managed to secure a place right outside of the capital of Romania for you to lay low. You figured you should probably get far away from the states, knowing Steve and his friends would be after you. It wasn’t much but it would work. It was a small 1 bedroom apartment just outside the capital that would house the world's deadliest super-soldier assassins for as long as they could get.

It was a little weird at first. Sure, you and Bucky had your fair share of nights in the same bed back in the 40s but this didn’t feel like it used to. You needed to learn how to be yourselves again and there was no room for trying to work on a relationship in the middle of that. You had created a system taking turns sleeping on the couch and the bed. It worked until you started to have nightmares and would be kicking and whimpering in your sleep, your mind begging you to wake up.

You both decided to get over it and just sleep in the same bed. You were each other's security blankets and understood what the other was going through. It had been strictly platonic for the most part. Up until Bucky remembered how to flirt again and you helped him rediscover the music he loved.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, right?” he asked sitting at the table across from you, picking at his food.

“Yes but you always hated being called James so you go by Bucky.” You said with a little smile. You had taken him to the Smithsonian before you skipped town just to see if anything came back to him.

“That’s right. The guy from the bridge and the helicarrier.” he paused and thought for a moment. “Steve! He called me that a couple of times, and so did you. Steve and I, we're friends?”

“Yeah, you two are best friends. You helped each other through everything. You always had this sweet saying.” You thought about the stories they used to tell you back in the 40s. “I’m with you till the end of the line.” You said at the same time.

“I had a sister named Rebecca. I love her so much. She was the best girl in my life. But I think she’s got some competition.” He smirked at you. You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“And you, you’re Y/N. I know that. I’ve known you for a long time, but meeting you is still fuzzy. I remember something about a red dress and dancing, but that’s all I can get.” He smiled at you. You blushed a little at the memory. “I could never forget you. The one memory I had of you got me through every mission. And then sometimes you were on those missions with me but I never knew you were the red dress from my memory. I just thought you were another soldier. I guess my mind never connected it.” He kept looking at you, trying to put a face on the person he remembered.

“You called me by name one time. I think it was before our last freeze. I don’t think I ever forgot you, either. I knew deep in my heart you were with me all the time. I always felt safe when I thought about the person I loved. And then felt the same safety whenever we were sent out together. Maybe that’s why we stayed alive all those years. Because of each other. So one day we’d remember and have this.” You shrugged and met his blue eyes with your Y/E/C ones.

“I guess we’re pretty perfect for each other huh?” he offered with that smirk gracing his face. He leaned over and pushed your Y/H/C hair behind your ear and let his thumb run across your cheek.

“I guess so.”

a/n: okay im a bout to click post and im so terrified ive edited this for hours and i need to stop before i hate it and never post it so here i go i hope you loved this as much as i did <3

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midwesternlikeope · 3 years

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I just had the worst week of recent. My husband was getting burned out at work, so he got a new job, less pay, but they promised full-time with opportunities for overtime. 4 weeks in and they've slashed hours in half due to covid (they bumped pay $1.25 more but it still doesn't make up for time lost). After doing rough math work, I realized we'd barely make rent, let alone food or utilities. I begged him to take his old job back, just for now, and actually they had a better position for him (full time, same pay as before, less stress - he didnt have any legit breaks, he'd have to wolf down food waiting for the next delivery to come in at any moment). He is currently doing at-home training to get the new position.

Meanwhile I've been searching for a job, and wasnt having any luck. I began to apply for really anything, though I didnt want to do just anything. I was vying for the store a few blocks away from me, and heard nothing for 3 months. Another location of that chain contacted me, but sadly the bus routes in my city are still a work in progress, so that store is a 5 minute drive, but the bus route is a mile walk then a ride, and walking a bit more. I bit the bullet and called to set up an interview. Within minutes of scheduling it, I felt a panic attack coming. I couldn't do it. I knew it would be too much of a headache to commute. I ended up just not showing up for the interview.

I was panicking over finances and worrying about losing our apt, where would we go, I'm terrified of being homeless. I informed my concerns to my husband, who insists we will be ok. I do have bookmarked resources, reminding myself that we're not the only ones struggling right now.

But for the past week, I've tackled the worst anxiety episode I've ever had. Usually they last about 4 days, but I'm on day 6 or 7, and while I feel mostly normal again, I still cannot eat whole foods. Im drinking Ensure, V8 (for the fruits and veggies), I get peckish in the evening so I snack on some stuff. My sleep is finally restful. I do struggle more in the morning, despite being a morning person :P I also had a roadblock of having both my therapist and my psychiatrist busy, and I already have spoken to a crisis coordinator, she was very kind but I know what she would say if I called back (nothing negative, just that I already know she would say I'm brave and I can do this, I don't need to call to hear that lol)

I finally got a call last Friday from the store I've been waiting months to hear from. I had to wait out my anxiety to call back, but I managed it, the manager was super nice and while I wanted the interview today (anticipation is my enemy), I agreed to tomorrow evening. I'm super proud for my ability to call back, but have to stay calm for tomorrow.

PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG! This is just me getting my thoughts out, encouragement or support is welcome.

#personal rant #personal #do not reblog #Anxiety #job interview

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itsthwippingtime · 5 years

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Fav bloggers and why?

dahskhkasj theres so many!! how am i supposed to,,, uhhh okay i love every one i do if youre not on this list it does NOT mean that i don’t love you

without further ado and in no particular order (okay I’ve noticed some are longer than others and if youre anything like me you’ll read way too much into that but please don’t i don’t mean anything by it i love you all so so so so much)

im so sorry for how long this is. every person tagged in this; i love you so so so so much and thank you so much for just being there for me and just being a presence in my life i am so grateful for our friendship. that applies to everyone, no matter if we’ve talked every day or never, i love you all so so SO much!!!

@anidiotwithapen - my first friend on this site (literally) and they live in Germany so we don’t get to talk as much as i would like cause ugh timezones but i love them so much, a walking disaster, the Clint to my Nat (wait am i Nat? have we discussed this yet?) the number of crack head canons that should be canon and ideas we’ve come up with like wow. i love them so so so so so so so so much. amazing artist like wow check out their art blog @neraidamira

@hraewordsmith - my babes my aunt i love her so much IM GONNA MEET HER ASJKDHASJKHDKASHJKA Rae is literally my rock one of the most supportive, loving people (persons?) I’ve ever met i love her so so so so so so so so muchdasjhkjajzkjashdjk

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars - Leah. my babes. an angel on earth i love her so much!!!! I’m gonna meet her too!!! so supportive and loving and encouraging, an amazing writer, an amazing person i mean what else can i say about her???

@starkravingparker - my wife!!! my name twin!!! Ava May i love her so much and I’m so so so proud of her she is so strong and amazing every day she faces demons and battles but she never ever gives up truly inspirational to me i love her so much and I’m gonna meet her one day maybe years from now but we’ll meet definitely and she’ll have to show me all her favorite places to go and things to do!! an amazing singer ( @starkravingava) an amazing writer ( @stparkerwrites) and amazing at making icons/edits/that stuff that i know nothing about ( @starkravingshuri) truly a talented wonderful person i love her to death. she deserves so much love and happiness and I’m so proud of her jsdajkdjlksa

@loubuttons - lou. what can i say about lou. the sweetest person ever. always there to love on you and encourage you and hear you complain and be there to rant and shkjadsahjkska i love her so much literally an angel i cannot,,,, an amazing painter and writer and just deserves all the love in the world i love her so much

@marvelbased SOPHIA I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE the Bucky to my Sam i could not live without her she’s constantly making me laugh i wish i could give her the world because its what she deserves i love her so much she always supports me and encourages me and we’re gonna meet one day too i know it ill die if we don’t!! dsjkhasjk i just love her!!!!

@cartwheelandfaceplant - we don’t talk much but i love them!!! everything they reblog, marvel or not, is the Quality Content i signed up for and at least a third of my likes is probably posts from them amazing blog amazing person just amazing amazing amazing!!

@tonyintexas - ah Taylor. my partner in crime when it comes to a certain person i love her and her humor its so amazing Taylor is literally crazy but the best kind of crazy and she honestly has me cackling i love her so much

@smallittlebee - the sweetest ever!!! we don’t talk much but literally so so so so so sweet and um CHICKENS!!!!!

@peterparkerisntdead - literally Gwen’s tags and semi vague shit posts throw me into a fit every time i should expect it but i never do i never know what to expect from her she’s like a hurricane so unpredictable sdaljkasdakjsd i love her k so much!!!!!! just !!!!!!

@irondadgroupie - IM SORRY I HAVENT REPLIED TO OUR HEADCANONS IN SO LONG IM SO SO SO SORRY if maybe if you don’t mind waiting until May? my exams are over mid-may and I’m gonna try to have the out before then but its really getting stressful over here and I’m just so sorry for all the shitty excuses and me ignoring you you have no IDEA how sorry i am. i love you so much i love the head canons we come up with, so so supportive and has always supported me with my writing, since the very beginning and it means the world to me dsjakjhsjak i love you babes!!!!

@imveryobservant - ahhh Jessie i love her toooooo!!!!!! we don’t talk a whole lot but when we do its always so much fun!! there are two (2) things that make me think of Jessie: thank u, next and the muppets (i also think of Gwen when i think of the muppets)

@lovelyspidey - LIXI!!!!! Lixi and i don’t talk a whole lot either but i love her so much and she’s like the one person i can freak with about Spider-Man PS4 (LIXI YOU NEED TO FINISH IT HAVE YOU????) and she’s always been there and supported me from the beginning i love her. also my go-to girl for Tom fic recs ;)

@drowningfandoms - okay but literally idk what to say because i remember seeing your URL repeatedly in my notifs at the very beginning, and like sending me asks and stuff and it was so strange that one person liked me and wanted to interact with me. and look how far our friendship has grown!! i love you so so so much!!!! I’m so grateful for you and our friendship and just your presence in my life

@underoosstark - this bitch makes some of the best videos i have ever seen in my entire life!!!! please watch them!!! ugh your mind babes!! we don’t talk a lot either but always amazing and supportive and loving and so sweet and kind andjaksdhjksahdjkashjksahjkd

@messedupfangirl05 - this bitch exposes me in the best ways i love her so so so much she is so kind and supportive and just so funny and I’m so so proud of her and everything she’s done. i love her and the way she writes and just EVERYTHINGS!!!!!

@tominhoodies - STEPH!!! BABES!!!! k i love Steph so much she’s an amazing writer and i love her so so so so so much she’s so funny sometimes she disappeared for days or weeks but i know she does it for her and its whats best for her and i respect and admire the amount of self control she had i love her so much okay don’t talk to me

@knife-wielding-tentacle - listen. if it weren’t for this bitch right here i would have never been introduced to the glorious head canon that is Winter Soldier!Peter and i love it so much (okay I SWEAR I’m gonna answer those asks soon but when have you known me to ever do anything on time) i love them so much jdsakjaskdjlaksjkaklsadjkl please never stop with the head canons they give me life

@adaisyspetals - DAISY!!!!!! i love daisy so much!!!!! she sends me pictures of her cat and dog and i love them too!!!! so sweet and so supportive and i love love love her writing!!!! agasdgjhsags just so amazing i love you so so so much babes!!!!

@mostly-marvel-stuffs - hi!!! we used to talk a lot more than we do now and thats okay but i miss you lots babes!!!!! um just an amazing person altogether i love them!!!! we once calculated how long it would be to do a Disney marathon with all most of the Disney movies so we’re gonna do that one day when we can stay up for a week straight (how long did we say it would be?)

@protecthefuckingbees - idk why they follow me cause they’re literally like the coolest and I’m like,,, not but i love them so so so much so supportive and kind and loving and sdjkhajdhjkahdajk i just love you sooooo much!!!!!!

@tomhollandswhore - we talk like every three days but i cherish those conversations, literally so sweet and kind and supportive and a New Friend cause we don’t know each other super well yet but i already know i love them!!!!!

@tonystarkdadmode - oh my gosh okay so sweet and so amazing and so supportive and just so amazing i love love love them!!!! i love their header (its so iconic go look) and just dsjkasjkdasjkhdsjkadsajk love you so much babes!!!!!

@spider-boiii - the creator of my icon, always has me cackling, super amazing, really nice, I!!!! LOVE!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!

@spookyclooky - k amazing artist first off! also like the only person i can talk to about Detroit: Become Human and (possibly) other PS4 games (we need to play GTA online one day i feel like that’d be a lot of fun haha!!!) i love them so much they’re so sweet and very patiently put up with my incessant questions about DBH, as annoying as they were

@sup-mr-stark, @mysteryavengers, @death1by3thoughts, @tamaranianprincess, @tomhollandeu @tomhollanders2013, @ebonyheartnet, @avengvr, @anxieteandbiscuits, @theincorrectavengers, @spiderman-homecumming, @my-babies-are-ash, @she-loves-her-queens-of-whump - these blogs… we don’t talk a whole lot and i really wish we did, but we all just kinda stand by and support and love each other even tho we’ve had like 3 or less conversations BUT THEYRE STILL ALL AMAZING AND HAVE AMAZING BLOGS AND ARE JUST ALTOGETHER AMAZING PEOPLE I LOVE THEM!!!!

#this is so long #but i loved doing this #i love y'all so much #asks #avah answers #anon

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dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: ��💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

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