#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[jmvore]

forbidden (1) ➻ jjk

‹ previous | next › ↳ SYNOPSIS › You never intended for any of this to happen! Thriving from the attention your step-daughter's boyfriend, you never meant for anything to go past the innocent flirting and soft-spoken comments. Jungkook, however, didn't think anything of it when he first met you but the more he got to know you, the more he knew he was falling. He knows this is wrong. You two shouldn't be sneaking around like this but once he finally gets a taste of what he truly desires, there was no turning back. › masterlist ‹

1 › SUGAR BUDDY » RATING › 18+ [M I N O R S D O N O T I N T E R A C T] » GENRE(S) › smut, angst » AU › infidelity, (sort of) college, daughter's bf » PAIRING(S) › jeon jungkook x f!reader » SIDE PAIRING(S) › jeon jungkook x min yoonji, reader x (no name)male!oc » TYPE › SERIES | 5 chapter(s) » WORD(S) › 6.6k+ » CH. SYNOPSIS › You fall into bed with Jungkook. A mistake you will ultimately regret. » SMUT WARNING(S) › sub!jungkook, domme!reader, noona!reader, college!jk (doesn't matter tbh), cheating [on both sides cause 🤷🏽], reader has nipple piercings cause 🤷🏽, dub-con, premature ejaculation, somnophilia, possessive behavior, pussy fingering, dirty talk, sexual coercion, orgasm denial, male masturbation, unprotected s*x, reader has a tattoo, & fingering [I believe that's everything]. » ORIGINAL POST DATE › 06/30/2019 » RE-POSTED DATE › 11/05/23 » A/N › Thank you @/saradika for the divider(s)! Pictures are from Pinterest!

It was a mistake for Jungkook to fall into this rabbit hole. 

The gentle smiles, the sincerity of your constant worrying, and the fact that you were someone he shouldn’t have found himself falling for.

Even your little ticks became engraved in his mind. It was a way for him to pinpoint how you were feeling in the moment. The way you’d pick at your arm when you were anxious to the way your giggles grew into fits of laughter the funnier you thought something was. 

Over time his infatuation grew deeper and stronger and with that came the depravity. The desperation to be near you became almost unbearable. 

To touch you.

To feel you.

He could go on and on but the truth is he has become obsessed with everything you did and the sad part?

You’re not even his. He’s ‘dating’ your step-daughter. He doesn't care about her. To him, she was disposable. The only really he's still here is because she's the only way to get to you. And you?

You have a… husband. A shitty one but you have one, nonetheless. He didn’t matter. The guy was a disposable piece of shit who did not deserve you.

Like his daughter.

Jungkook knew from the moment she introduced him to you that your husband does not deserve your kind soul. Your husband doesn’t deserve your love. 

To fuck you. 

Make love to you. 

He doesn’t fucking deserve you.

From the outside looking in, your husband doesn't seem to be treating you right and based on what he has heard from Yoonji. And if he’s being honest, Jungkook thinks he’s cheating too BUT that’s a discussion for another time. He notices the way you cringe away from that… filth . 

Did his touch feel tainted to you as well? Did it feel foreign? Or do you hate it as much as he hates him touching you?

Before meeting you, Jungkook had no idea what people meant when they said they were fated to meet someone. 

You weren’t the woman of his dreams or anything but there was the certain pull he had toward you. Your kindness, your unfiltered loving nature.

Jungkook doesn’t want you to give that love away.

You shouldn’t because that should belong to him. Right? 

If your husband knew the true reason why he was hanging around so much there would be so many issues. 

Good thing he doesn’t.

He tried to fight his ever growing feelings but it all came to a head the moment he stopped fighting his feelings. He saw you in a distinctive light because you were no longer just Yoonji’s stepmother. You were you. A woman he knew he would do anything and everything for. 

It’s another reason why he’s in your room kneeling by your marital bed without a care in the world. 

If anyone were to see him here in this moment, they would swear he had floating hearts swarming around his head as he gaze lovingly at your exhausted figure. 

Jungkook caresses the side of your face with the back of his hand and trails his fingers toward your dainty lips (which are currently in a pout). 

He goes soft in the way you subconsciously snuggle into his hand. 

He grins fondly.

He wants nothing more but to kiss you breathless. Show you how much better he is than that man. 

But alas…

All he can do is admire. 

Admire how beautiful you look dreaming away and currently unaware of how he’s eagerly admiring everything that is you in front of him. Your body, your face- nothing goes unnoticed.

It’s when he yanks the cover down, he groans. Almost a little too loud. 

Your body shudders from the sudden chill that runs through your body as you instinctively turn from laying on your side to your stomach. 

It’s then the clothes you're wearing catch his attention.

It’s not your usual sleepwear (he knows because he’s seen you walking around in clothes that are much tighter and scandalous )but Jungkook can appreciate it all the same. 

Ironically, you have a sleeping panda on your shirt with the words ‘ don’t bother me ’ stitched above it. A tiny crop top shirt you made into an off-the-shoulder shirt.  

The new position also gives him a very nice view of your ass. The gray booty shorts are riding up your ass because you move so much in your sleep. 

It also gives him a view of the pretty lotus flower on the back of your thigh that he’s come to love. The words ‘Always a lover, Never a fighter ’ are in cursive underneath it. 

He was amazed when you told him how and why you got it. The contrast of colors looks so pretty on your skin.

He runs his finger over it only to see your leg jerk in response. You’re so damn sensitive and loves it though, he knows he has to be careful. 

The last thing he wants is to wake you up. At least, not yet.

The more he watches you, the more his mouth waters. 

He wants to taste you but that would have to wait until your husband isn’t present. 

He probably wouldn’t be allowed in the house ever again if the two of you were caught and that’s something he doesn’t want to happen. 

Right now? 

Patience is a virtue.

Jungkook settles for your step-daughter for now. Despite the differences, he knows that if he holds out long enough, he will have his chance. He’ll make sure of it.

It doesn’t help that when he’s fucking her, he’s thinking of you. 

Your beautiful body. She doesn’t have breasts like yours. Your full lips. Your incredibly long, worshipable legs. Everything about you is to be worshiped like the Queen… the Goddess you are. 

He could go on and on about how he would take you apart piece by piece. He would make you feel and love him. He would make you want him. 

It will all happen in due time. 

For now, he’ll sit and wait for his chance to unravel everything. 

Just then Jungkook the moment the bed creaks under your husband's weight.

One opportunity occurs when your husband heads downstairs to get water.

He knows he should be in the guest room where you and Yoonji left him and he knows there’s no excuse for him to be in here but he couldn’t miss the chance to be next to you.

He gently moves you so you’re laid on your side and facing him. He climbs into your side of the bed, coming face to face as your breath tickles his neck. 

Looking at your face, you deserve so much better. You deserve him.

…And he’s prepared to give you all of him. He wants you to know that he’s right here and he’s not going anywhere. He would never do that to you. 

He shifts your leg over his hip and buries his face into your chest as his heart races at the thought of getting caught. Inhaling your natural scent mixed with the perfume you’re wearing, burning it into his memory.

As soon as he hears your husband is back, he shrinks into himself so he doesn’t get caught. Vibrating with the excitement of you being so close, he tries his best to hold still.

All he wants to do, however, is kiss you breathless. Caress your body like it deserves to be worshiped. 

Your body is so. fucking. warm. He can still lay with you like this all the time, watching you rest peacefully in his arms is a treat in itself. 

You look so stunning under the moonlight, he could have kissed you right then and there if every time he moved the bed didn’t squeak. 

He goes to kiss the top of your breast as the door creaks from your husband trying to quietly shut the door (albeit poorly).

Jungkook hopes he rolls over, falls back asleep and ignores the very visible lump next to his wife but instead, he feels a hand (that clearly isn’t yours or his) jerk you so your back is laid against your husband's chest. 

He even had the audacity to wrap his arm around your waist.

‘Fucking Dumb Ass…’ Jungkook grunts, hand twitching to peel his slimy hands off of you. Your hu- no, that filth doesn’t deserve to hold you. 

He doesn’t know if your husband has fallen asleep or not but he’s missing your warmth. 

Maybe if he knocks him out, it’ll get him to leave the two of you alone. 

(Just a thought). Jungkook shakes his head though the thought still lingers. 

Trust, if he could do it and get away with it, he would. 

He doesn’t want to rouse the man so he waits in hopes to hear his snoring soon.

Growing impatient the more he has to wait because this could be his only chance to get to touch you like he wants to. And… this ass hole is ruining it. 

It’s like he knows.

Maybe he does.

After waiting for damn near fifteen minutes, Jungkook takes another ten minutes to ensure dumb ass is asleep. 

He tears you away from your husband, wanting to push him completely off the bed but that would, more than likely, startle him awake. 

Instead, he replaces your husband’s arm with his own though he realizes he can’t move as much as he would like. As long as he can move his hand and arm, he’s fine. 

He starts to reach inside your shorts only to realize you're not wearing underwear. 

He entertains the thought of you knowing he was coming to bed with you and that you were readying yourself for him. 

Because you want him too… right?

He starts rubbing circles into your clit, hearing you gasp at the slight coldness of his touch. Your hips buck into his as if you know. Even so, he knows you don't realize it's him touching you. 

For all you know, your body thinks it’s your husband.

Oh, what he would give to be able to fuck you silly.

“Why couldn’t I have found you before you married him?” He ponders the ‘what if’, bypassing the fact that you were older than him. 

It didn’t matter though. He would still love you all the same. 

“I want you so bad I can taste it…” He picks up his pace, listening to you pant out moan after moan. 

You're clueless, unknowing of the boy who’s currently taking advantage of you. 

“So fucking hot…” He gently presses his lips to yours to test and see if you'll respond. 

His body shivers at how soft they were against him. 

He yanks the right side of your shirt down to expose your breast before gently taking your nipple into his mouth. 

You let out a faded whimper. Your mind thinks it’s your husband but in reality…

“So sweet, Noona.”

You blink awake, trying to figure out what's going on. It takes you a minute to realize it. 

As you try to wake up, your mind is in a state of disarray. 

You don’t realize who you’re looking at until you take in his wide eyes and boyish grin. Something is amiss.

You flinch but he’s quick to shush you with a kiss. The metal in his lip is cold against yours and for a second you fight with the idea of fighting him off of you. 

Remember he’s stronger than you are.

And the fact that you’re sure you would wake him up if you keep moving so much.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You grit through your teeth but he’s quick to place his hand over your mouth.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” 

“Wha-”

“I promise I won’t. Please don’t be scared, Noona.” 

He’s hesitant to lean into you but when you stop fighting, he starts to nuzzle his nose against your jaw. 

“I just want to lay with you.”

He can sense the panic written all over your face and the fact that your husband is behind you, doesn’t help either.

“W-Why?” You ask, head tilting as you’re completely bewildered at this. 

You don’t remember him ever showing you interest and even if he did. He’s dating Yoonji and you’re fucking married.

“Jun-”

“It’s you.” You wither at his answer, unsure of what he means. 

“Why?” You speak so softly, you’re unsure if Jungkook heard you.

Jungkook, on the other hand, shakes his head and you know he’s not going to tell you what you want to know.

At least, not right now. (Even if he’s elated at the turn of events) because to have a taste of you would be the sweetest treat anyone can grant him.  

He leans closer to peck you on the lips again before smiling wider. 

“We can save that talk for another time though. You were close to cumming, no?”

“We shouldn’t.”

“Why? I wanna make you feel good. Please let me! I know he’s not taking care of you.” Your breath hitches the moment you feel his lips against your pulse point, a chill running straight through your spine. 

“Fuck-” You gasp, feeling his hand move over your stomach and down to the band of your shorts. He smiles at your resistance but he knows you won’t last much longer. “Jungkook… Wait.”

“Please don’t make me. I want you so fucking bad.”

“But what about-”

Jungkook moves away from you as if your words scorched the air around you. It’s only when you bring your hand to touch his cheek that you feel his jaw clench and unclench.

“He doesn’t matter. I can make you feel so much better.”

“Jungkook. You have to realize how ridiculous this is? You’re dating my daughter.”

“And?”

“What-”

As you glare into his eyes, you realize you should have seen this coming. 

The little touches when your husband wasn’t looking. 

How he’d hold you by your waist when you were alone (which was rare). 

The kiss your cheek (something you’re sure someone wouldn’t do unless they felt something for said person). 

The little remarks he made about how he would treat you if you were his. How he would love you, please you. 

You chose to ignore all of this, thinking it was an innocent crush. He wouldn’t dare do anything.

Oh, how wrong you were.

You weren’t going to lie, Jungkook was a handsome young man but that’s what he was. A young man. You felt wrong. As if you were taking advantage of him but that’s not the case. Right?

“He doesn’t touch you like this anymore. Does he?”

You clasp your lips together to contain the whine threatening to release, knowing you can’t move around too much if you don’t want to alert your husband to what's going on. 

Eyes closed, you take a deep breath. 

Not wanting to think about much of anything as he toys with you by playing with the hem of your shorts. 

He wants to dip his fingers inside. Your pussy was so warm as he felt you getting wetter the more he played with your clit. 

He can’t wait to fill you the way you deserve, your pretty walls stretching around his cock like it should. 

He hums, pulling your leg over his hip again. He’s loving this. 

Your eyes well up with unshed tears and your irritation running rampant because what the fuck? Why were you on the verge of crying? 

You don’t have to cheat but God, your body is screaming for you to let him take care of you like he wants to.

“You cry, Noona. I just wanna take care of you,” He mutters, placing his hand on your cheek to wipe the strays away. “I want to take care of you. I want you.” He bites his bottom lip before pulling you closer by your chin. “I know you want me too.”

“Jungkook…”

“Please?”

Fuck! Why did he look so damn fine begging for it?

You take a soft breath to calm your nerves as the weight of his words hit you. It makes you feel sick to your stomach. 

“Jungkook. We can’t. You know we can’t… What about Yoonji?”

“Yoonji…” Jungkook scoffs the moment you frown, heart slamming against your chest as you want to know what the hell is going through his brain. You want to know what he’s thinking and why he’s being so damn bold all of a sudden. 

When you search his face for a crack in his facade, you don’t find one. 

“What about her?”

“She’s your girlfriend. You should be with her. N-”

“I can’t even think about being with her when you exist.” 

He presses his lips to yours again as your brain is processing what's currently happening. 

More like short circuiting.

The sensation of melting in his arms makes you pliant as he moves his lips against yours. It's hard to pinpoint your feelings.

The sensation of melting in his arms makes you pliant as he moves his lips against yours. It's hard to pinpoint your feelings

Your only awareness is the sensation of his lips against yours. You know you shouldn't kiss him back.

You should technically shove him off the bed but...

They feel so good against your own. He feels good. That you can't even deny your body the love it deserves.

A small spark grows the more you indulge in this fantasy. 

While you know it's definitely not right, the fact that he’s expressed how much he wants you makes you feel something you shouldn’t.

“Jungkook…”

“Don’t fight it.”

He gazes into your eyes, enchanted with the way you hold back the whine within your throat. 

He wants to satisfy you but also obey your every word. 

He was willing to wait for the right time, wanting to make your first time with him special. 

A simple date or two. 

Getting you alone in his place or here in your home. 

Telling you everything you want to hear and more and getting you to dump your loser husband.

The more he saw you with him, the more he grew impatient. 

“You make this so hard for me,” He whispers against your lips, brushing away your tears before grasping your hand and bringing it down to his hardening cock. It’s straining against his sweats, begging to be let free. “In more ways than one.”

“J-”

“You do this to me, Noona. I can’t even fuck her without thinking about being buried in you. It's hard not to scream your name while I’m cumming in her.” 

He ruts against your hand but you haven’t moved away either and you don’t even know why. 

And why were you getting so turned on by this? 

You’re supposed to be the adult here. 

You’re supposed to be the one to push him away, tell him no. 

Tell him how wrong this is. How fucked up it would be if either Yoonji or your husband found out.

B U T…

The thought of being touched by him and touching him was slowly clouding your judgment. 

It’s not as if you didn’t find him attractive. The moment he walked through the front door you found yourself eyeing him but you didn’t think he saw you. 

And at the end of the day, he was Yoonji’s boyfriend and you weren’t about to break up someone else's relationship. 

Even if you wanted a good fuck. 

You don’t even remember the last time you came while fucking your husband. He was losing his touch and well, you’ve been craving scratch that itch and you knew Jungkook was willing to give your body what it needed.

When Jungkook's hand travels underneath your shirt, his fingers caress your underbust and your brain completely malfunctions.

Your husband and Yoonji are long gone as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth to nip at it. 

“I can make you feel so good, Noona. I’ll be your good boy.” He whispers his promises against your lips before pressing his lips against yours again. “I can make you cum so good.”

Maybe it was the fact that you haven’t felt wanted in a while, especially by your husband in a very long time that made you want to give it. 

Or maybe it was the fact that you had this man in your bed claiming you were the one for him and that he didn’t need anyone else. 

You don’t know what it was that had you giving into his advances, you only knew that your resolve was breaking. 

And the crazy part? 

You should feel… something? Right? 

Anger. Remorse. Guilt at the fact you would be blatantly cheating on your husband while you’re lying in bed with him but right now, you feel nothing. 

And you don’t know if you would ever feel anything about it. 

Once you’re actively thinking about it you realize that maybe you have fallen out of love. But were you even in love in the first place?

Your husband barely looks at you anymore. 

You’ve tried everything you could think of to get that spark back but nothing has worked. 

You came to the conclusion that he wasn’t physically attracted to you anymore but understanding that fact hurts more than you let on. 

“Please let me touch you more, Noona?” It comes off as a question, pleading with you to give in. And you do, nodding as he’s quick to grab your waist to pull you on top of him. He caresses your bare thighs, his eyes twinkling at the sight of you straddling his hips. 

He’s dreamed of this moment and to have it come true, his heart is about to burst from the excitement.

He reaches up to pull you in for another kiss but you stop him with a finger to his lips. 

He groans. 

A little too loud for your liking but you know you have to be cautious. 

You don’t want to wake the grinch.

Though you can’t believe you’re even doing this but you allow yourself to forget. Even if it’s just for a moment. 

You forget the fact that this is your step-daughter’s boyfriend and the fact that they’ve been together for almost a year. 

You forget that you have a husband and that he’s currently present in your bed until-

“Honey?” 

“Y-Yeah? Yes, baby…?” Choking out a response, you get Jungkook to get out of the bed as you watch him blindly reach for you. You’re quicker to reach behind you to grab his hand, hoping he doesn’t wake in his quest to find you. 

“Why’re you awake?”

“Bathroom.” You chuckle, not to give away how nervous you are but he doesn’t seem to notice. He hums, pulling you to turn you around to face him so he can nuzzle his face into your breast.

“Go to sleep.”

“You too.” You clear your throat, feeling the bed dip knowing Jungkook is crawling back into it after you told him not to. You can hear your husband soft snoring, knowing he’s settling into his new position. 

(You were always amazed at how he was able to fall straight asleep).

You peel your body away from him to replace it with a pillow and wait, hoping to God he doesn’t reach over to figure out what the hell the two of you are getting up to. 

With a sigh of relief, he doesn't. 

You can breathe once he stops moving, taking the moment to shoo Jungkook out of the room. Only he doesn’t move.

“You need to go back to the guest room.” You push him toward the door but he still doesn’t budge, holding on to you tighter to prove his point.

“I’m not leaving without you.”

You sigh in frustration, knowing he is telling the truth. Nothing will stop him from having you, he's so close.

“Jungkook.” 

He matches your energy and calling your name the same way but you’re unamused and irritated.

“Go!”

“No!”

You hadn't realized he switched spots, backing you into the bedroom door and squatting to pick you up. He wraps your legs around his waist and squishes you against the door with a loud thud.

You chastise him, harshly whispering for him to put you down but he doesn’t listen. 

Instead, he’s quick to open the do and carry you kicking and screaming out of the room. 

Not literally, of course. Although you realize that you've played right into his hands. 

You can feel the tension between the two of you as you bury your face into his neck. 

He knows you need some type of relief from the teasing he subjected you to earlier and he’s going to give it to you. His patience has run thin and so has yours.

Besides, you could do without your husband's mediocre performance.

“Jungkook…” You glance down but a heavy noise startles the both of you out of your reverie. He looks to see the light shining from Yoonji’s door. 

Of course, she would be awake. It’s like they’re doing everything in their power to make sure he doesn’t get his way. 

“Ju-” He cuts you off with a kiss, pushing you to hide in the bathroom as he tells you once he closes the door to make your way to the guest room. As you nod, you wonder if it really is worth the trouble but you are sopping wet and you need relief. 

Even if it's self-help.

Jungkook is growing impatient as he watches Yoonji from the door. He watches her move about in her room, making a mental note to give her something to help her sleep next time. He cracks the door enough for him to hear you walk by before getting to work to get her to go to bed.

You know you shouldn’t be listening but you can hear the desperation in her voice when she whines for him to stay. 

She even begs him to kiss her and for a second, you feel awful for what you’re literally about to do. 

You stop in your tracks, pausing at the guest bedroom as you contemplate going back to your bedroom and just masturbating. Sighing your resolve, you turn to head back only to run right into Jungkook.

“Are you okay?” It literally took him close to ten minutes to get her to stop complaining. What happened within that time frame? “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Um-”

“What?” Jungkook panics, frantically reaching for your wrist to grasp. “Stay. Please stay, Noona. C’mon”

He’s quick to pull you toward the guest room and shut the door, spin around to pick you up before laying you down on the bed. 

His hands caress everywhere he can as he worships your body. Particularly your thighs. He wouldn’t mind his head being crushed by them while he’s eating you out. 

And your legs… 

God, what he wouldn’t do to keep them wrapped tight along his waist. 

“You can’t leave. We were just getting started. Can I?”

Despite your protests, he’s already yanked your shorts down your legs and started climbing between them with a groan. 

He can’t wait to taste you but that will have to wait for another time.  

You on your back and spread out like a full-course meal, his brain turns to mush instantly. 

“Noona…” He mewls the instant he sinks into your warmth, nails digging into the bed as your walls tighten around his cock. God, why are you so damn tight? “So sweet. So perfect for me,” He whines. 

Moments after he bottoms out, you moan, biting against your knuckle to remain silent. The last thing you need is for them to figure out where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with. 

Jungkook, however, holds onto you for dear life as he can feel you squeeze his cock, knowing if he moves…

He’s going to cum and he doesn’t want to do that. Not yet.

He wonders if you can feel the difference between him and your husband. Is he bigger? Thicker? Longer? He wants to know but he doesn’t want to seem insecure. (In which, he’s not. He just wants the validation).

“Fuck me...” 

Instantly, Jungkook begins to curse when you run your fingers through his hair as he meets your gaze. 

You can see the lust coursing through his eyes, knowing that this gaze was for you. 

He wanted you. And right here at this moment, he has you. 

“If I had known you’d feel this amazing I would have fucked you sooner. So fucking hot.”

“Yeah? You wanna move, baby boy? We don’t have much time.” Jungkook groans at the nickname as you glance toward the door worried one of them might waltz right in. 

You don’t feel like explaining why you’re tangled up with him and you definitely don't feel like getting yourself off. 

Call it selfish. 

You don’t care because right now you’re focused on the now and that’s cumming your brains out. 

“L-Let me savor this,” he complains but you know you don't have the time. 

As he grasps the sheets around your head to ground himself, you roll your hips back into his. He wasn’t ready for you to take charge though he can’t deny that he likes it. In the end, he subconsciously goes with the rhythm. 

“You can do that another time. C’mon.” You shove against his chest as Jungkook’s heart leaps against his chest at the thought of there being a next time. “Make me feel good, baby.”

“O-Okay.” 

Jungkook starts off slow, watching as his cock enters in and then out. His brain breaks into a frenzy as after a few minutes, his soft thrusts turn into harsh pounding. It’s almost unnatural with how his hips move.

“Slow down, baby…” 

Jungkook whines his distaste. However, from the way your nose is scrunched, he knows you’re not feeling as good as he knows he can make you feel. 

You look as if you were in more pain than pleasure.

And we can’t have that, now can we?

He reaches down to stroke your clit, seeing you squirm in his hold. The way you moan his name is one of the sexiest things he’s heard. 

Not even Yoonji can compare. 

He wonders if you’ll let him record them for later.

“D-Does it feel good, now?” He’s apologetic but nervous to ask because well, he doesn’t want to disappoint on his first time. 

“Angle your hips.”

He does as he’s told, holding onto your waist as he rocks harder. Going deeper than before. It makes you gasp, covering your mouth with your hands when he hits that spot that makes your toes curl. 

A soft mewl releases as he starts to fuck you good.

“You’re so big.” 

Jungkook’s hips stutter at the praise and only takes you seconds to realize the power your praises hold over him. 

You bite your lip as you hold his gaze, finger underneath his chin. 

For the life of him, he doesn’t know when the power dynamic changed but he’s so turned on, he doesn’t care. 

He fucking loves it. 

It’s so different from the sex that he has with Yoonji but it doesn’t change how he feels. If anything, it enhances it.

“Noona…” He tries to bury his face into your neck as you grip him by his hair to yank him back. “Fuck!”

“You like that?” You ask, pussy squeezing his cock as his eyes roll to the back of his head. “Hm?”

“Y-Yes!”

“Shhh.” You smirk at his desperation. “Quiet now. You don’t want to get caught, do you?”

“N-No. Oh, f-”

You stick your fingers in his mouth to feel him sucking on them, listening to him whimper in pleasure. 

As much as you want to continue, you know if you go too long your husband will get suspicious and there’s no doubt Yoonji will be looking for him once she wakes again. 

Plus if anyone were to walk by, they would think Jungkook was masturbating or something. They wouldn’t know that it was with you but wouldn’t that would be the surprise of the century.

“So good, baby. Fucking good…” He whines, pressing his lips to your neck as he continues to fuck you harder. 

“Yeah?”

“Y-Yes. I want you all the time, Noona.”

“Mmm, that sounds like a treat.” You moan, head falling back as you rock your hips up for him to go deeper. “That’s it, baby.” You chuckle, your walls giving him a soft squeeze. He whines at the feeling, begging you to let him cum as he grips the sheets next to your head. His eyes closed, panting in an almost feverishly feral way. “Tell me… How long have you been wanting me?”

“Since she first introduced me to you. Your husband doesn’t deserve you, Noona.”

Jungkook's hips grow sloppier as time goes on and with the way you’re pushing back, he knows he won’t be able to hold on much longer.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” He gasps, massaging your belly. He wants to knock you up so bad but… He knows he can’t, not until your stupid husband is out of the picture but just thinking about you walking around, pregnant with his child. Turns him on… 

so. 

fucking. 

Much.

“You’re so good for Noona, baby. You’re doing so well. Feels so good.” You grip Jungkook’s chin to stare him right in the eyes. “Cum for me, baby.”

It’s the lust filled fire that takes over your eyes, the way your pussy grips his cock and the way whisper some of the dirtiest shit he’s ever heard into his ear with that low, seductive voice of yours. 

To be honest, you don't even have to try. 

You don’t know what you do to him.

“Fuck!” Jungkook stops before he can, “No. No… Wait…” 

Jungkook’s firm in his answer, hooking his arms underneath your legs to bend them back further. He leans over your body, leaving you face to face as he grinds into you. 

You softly gasp, feeling him go deeper than he was before. 

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Jungkook groans when your nails drag down his back. 

No doubt leaving red streaks in its wake. 

“Mark me, Noona.” Jungkook whines, “Let everyone know I’m yours.” 

He’s panting against your neck as he tries to hold on for much longer once you start to squeeze his dick harder. 

“I wanna make you cum first.”

“You think you deserve to make me cum?”  You’re even sassier than before and he fucking loves it. 

“I do. P-Please let me! I can show you, Noona.”

In a fit of giggles, you stroke your thumb against his lips and in return, he sucks it into his mouth. The sensation is incredibly hot and Jungkook can feel his cock throb at the feeling. 

“Ride me.” He says, blushing at the thought of watching in a very intimate state. “I-I can make you cum faster.” 

You push Jungkook onto his back, allowing him to pull you into his lap.

To him, the view is unimaginable. The way you breast hangs out of your top to the way your pussy sucks him right in as you lower yourself onto it. You toss your head back with a groan, hands stationed on his chest as his hands travel from your thighs to your ass.

“You’re so fucking perfect.”

“G-God you feels so fucking deep, baby.”

He holds his hand out to intertwine with yours and when you accept it, it makes him feel like he’s on cloud nine. Making love to you instead of a quick fuck that he just so happened to initiate.

“Use me.” 

You smirk, moving your hips with a newfound purpose. You want to give him what he wants. 

“Is that what you want?”

“Fucking yes! Please!” At this point, you’re sure the both of you can be heard but Jungkook seems to not care. It’s only when you hear a couple of timid knocks against the door that your eyes grow wide. 

You’re quick to place your hand over Jungkook’s mouth as he mirrors your expression. You can feel his heart drumming against his chest, whimpering when you try to get comfortable.

“Jungkook?” 

Of course, it’s Yoonji. You roll your eyes before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“Answer her.”

“Yes?”

“Are you awake?”

“I-um…” Jungkook had planned to play as if he was asleep but you forced him to answer. “I was falling asleep, actually.”

“Can I come in?”

You snarl, “Did you lock the door?”

“I t-think so.” Jungkook can’t remember. “I don’t remember. I’m so sorry.”

Usually, you would find him being shy so fucking adorable but right now, you can feel your orgasm simmering in the pit of your stomach and all you want to do is cum but you also want to strangle him too. 

The doorknob rattle and both of you release the breath you were holding.

“Fuck me.” You mouth to him as he widens his eyes. 

You're glad he understands quickly. You can’t help but love how desperate he is as he rocks his hips into you. God, he's so desperate for you. 

“If you can stay quiet, I’ll let you cum.” You say in his ear and he’s quick to nod. He can feel you as you swivel your hips and lean in to whisper, “If you’re quiet enough she’ll go away.”

Jungkook holds you tight by the waist, his nails digging into your bare skin. Your pussy feels warm and wet. His cock fits perfectly inside and he doesn’t want to move. 

You snap your fingers next to his ear as he blinks, coming back to his reality. 

“Focus,” You grunt, going back to rolling your hips again. You set the pace for him to get the both of you off quicker. He even helps by licking his finger and playing with your clit.

You moan a little too loud but catch yourself before it gets louder.

You don’t know if your step daughter is still standing outside and waiting. All you know is your body feels like it’s on fire and you’re so close. 

So, so close.

And by the way Jungkook’s cock is twitching, he’s ready too. With the shuffling of feet indicating that she’s gone back to her room, you keep riding him as he bites down on the blanket on the bed to control his moans. 

Anything to take his mind off of what is going to come next.

“I’m about to cum… “ He warns and all it takes is more praise, a weak clench of your walls, and a hand full of breasts to get him to fall over the edge. 

“Did you-”

Jungkook groans, “I-I didn’t mean to! You feel so… I- fuck… I’m sorry.” His chest heaves, glancing at you like a puppy who's been kicked. Puppy eyes on a hundred, he goes to grab your hand to hold but you shake him off to get up. “Just let me-”

“It’s alright, Jungkook.”

“But…” He pouts, “Y-You haven’t cum.”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” You lean over to kiss the corner of his lips but he soon turns his head to capture yours. The kiss is softer than it should be for the situation you’ve found yourself in and when you pull away, he frowns. You chuckle at his attitude. “Get some rest. I need to get back before he wakes up.”

“Please Noona? Let me finish you off. I promise I can. I ju-”

“Maybe next time.” Those are the last words you say before you get dressed and try to sneak back to your room.

As Jungkook lies back against the pillows, his brain goes into overdrive. He wonders when the next time will be. 

“I’ll be ready next time.” Jungkook smiles as his thoughts swirl in a dream world. 

Next time can’t come fast enough.

© 2020 - 2023 » JMVORE || @/http-pjm and @/googikoo » All Rights Reserved.   DO NOT Copy, Translate, Re-Upload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You!

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #bts stories #bts fic #bts fanfic #x reader #fem reader #reader insert #jungkook imagine #jmvore #masterlist #bts masterlist

[igotanidea]

Let's fuck up the friendship : J.T x fem!reader

how cute is that picture? UwU

request by @parkjammys (once again, thank you for making my day by posting pics of Outlaws!Jason today)

based on the prompt: "sometimes i look at people and think.. really? that’s the sperm that won?” With best friend Jason feeling really jealous seeing his best friend that he has a major crush on, talk to some guy (guy is Kyle Rayner) and he's mumbling "he's not even her type"

***

„Why is he here again?” Jason scoffed, carefully observing his best friend Y/N, talking to that stupid prick of a green lantern, Kyle Rayner.

“Dunno.” Dick, still in his Nightwing suit shrugged casually, while stuffing his mouth with cereals ‘probably something to do with the newest mission on Earth or something like that.”

“It doesn’t bother you at all?” Jason hissed, involuntarily clenching his fist. “that he just drops by whenever he wants?”

“No, not really.” Dick swallowed particularly huge piece of his meal and focused on his brother’s face. “does it bother you?”

It wasn’t a secret that Jason and Kyle weren’t exactly friends, but the former never reacted with such…. intensity. All right, most of the times the green lantern showed himself around Jason was throwing offences left and right, showing his teeth and acting like he was marking territory. Kyle, however did exactly the same thing. It was sort of tradition at this point. But all that teasing, fake fighting and extreme emotions never escalated so quickly to the point where Jason was all red (and not because of the helmet or the gear), grinding his teeth and subconsciously reaching for his gun while his eyes were fixed on one place in space. Or rather, one person.

Y/N.

She was talking to Kyle, laughing at whatever he just said, her eyes sparkling, looking happy like never before. And what was even worse she just hit his chest playfully. SHE TOUCHED HIM for fuck’s sake and that fucker really seemed to enjoy that.  On the other side, Jay did not like it at all. How could he? He had a massive crush on her since he could remember and yet, despite all his cool demeanor, harsh behavior and bad boy outlook, he was too self-conscious to ever confront her about it. Stupid, longing idiot, afraid of his own feelings. To tell the truth, he himself wasn’t sure if he was more afraid of the possibility of her pushing him away or rather the fact that by some miracle she might want him. He was not good in relationships, any of them, and that made his mind create crazy scenarios in which she was hurt or killed or sad or crying because of him.

But sure as hell he was not going to let Rayner get to her first!

She was just …. something different.

The girl who knew what she wanted and wouldn’t settle for anything else. The girl who would stand by you, listening to every rant and problem you may have, but also the one who would turn and run the second she got vulnerable. It was so damn hard, to get her to open up, since on 9 out of 10 cases she would just jump into helping someone else or dig into work.  

And she was his best friend.

What kind of fool falls for his best friend?

It was stupid and childish and naïve and yet, all he wanted and needed was to just approach her that very second, interrupt her happy conversation and use one sentence that would either make her hate him and disappear for good or get them both to a whole new level of relationship.

“Let’s fuck up the friendship.” God, how he wished he had the guts to just get it out of his system.

Instead he settled on watching her from the distance, not rushing to make a fool out of himself in front of both Dickhead and that freaking Rayner.

“Jace?” Dick interrupted his train of thought, smirking under his nose.

“What?!”

“Is this about her?”

“What? NO. Fuck no. She’s just my friend. My best friend.”

“Yeah, right, friends don’t look at friends that way.”

“Whatever!” Jason scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest sulking for a moment and sighing deeply. ‘I hate the way she’s smiling at him.” He mumbled “and she’s not even trying to hide it….” He pouted like a completely immature 5 year old.

“She’s an astrophysicist, Jason.” Dick patted his arm reassuringly “ You can’t blame her for being enthralled by all that crazy space-shit stuff he’s saying.”

“I don’t blame her.” Jason hissed “I blame him, you know? Do you ever just look at people and think: really? That’s the sperm that won?”

“No…..” Dick made a face in confusion. Damn it, if that were the thoughts coming into Jason’s mindthan it really was bad.

“Well, I do. And he’s the living proof of that.”

“Jason…..”

“He’s not even her type…” Todd muttered under his breath.

“And what exactly is her type?” Dick smirked again “Tall, dark haired, well-build douche? If you care about her …..”

“I don’t fucking care about her!” he yelled.

Too loud.

Whoopsy.

Not a chance she didn’t hear that, and the sudden outburst made her turn her head towards him. Shit, if he was red before, now he was simply crimson. Jason found himself between the devil and the deep blue see. Should he clear this little misunderstanding? Should he come clean? Or should he just run away leaving the ground burning?

“Jace?” she stuttered, her eyes growing wide, while Kyle took the chance and wrapped and arm around her shoulders protectively to give her some grounding “Is this about me?”

“Good luck, clearing that out, Jaybrid” Dick laughed, but hid it by pretending to sneeze.

“Shut up, Grayson!” Jason hissed through clenched teeth and slowly approached the girl and Kyle. “It was not about you. It was about some girl Grayson met and about whom he couldn’t shut up. You are my best friend, you know it, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, right, best friend’ she mumbled looking down, moving slightly closer to Rayner and away from Jason. Oh, that was like a slap on the cheek. Like a sting right through his heart. Like a….

Was it disappointment in her eyes?

No, it couldn’t be…. Why would she be disappointed?

“Anyway, if you don’t mind, Rayner” Jason used the unimaginable amount of power to control himself “I would love to rescue my best friend from your hand. I bet whatever you say about space must be out of this world, but there are people who actually need her on Earth. On daily basis. Not just while dropping from time to time and leaving her hanging.”

“Oh, Todd.” Kyle cooed “aren’t you just so cute while trying to act like a knight in shining armor. But guess what, she doesn’t need your protection.”

“Right. The only one who’s going to need protection is you. From me.” Jason leaned forward eyeing the other boy with predatory gaze ‘I know what you are plotting, Rayner. And if you think I’m going to let you use her….”

“Is someone jealous?” Kyle scoffed “cause sure it seems you treat me like a threat.”

“Why don’t we take it outside so I can show you how much I am not scared of you. Maybe this time you will deal with someone equal to you rather than seducing girls with your fake charm!” Jason jumped to his feet, Kyle following right after and the tension was so palpable that most likely they wouldn’t even wait to go outside, just beat the shit of each other right inside.

“ENOUGH!” sudden scream coming from Y/N made them both gasp in surprise. Neither Jason nor Kyle has even seen her this angry. She was practically fuming and it was terrifying to see this normally calm, communicative and focused-on-peaceful-solutions-to-problems girl in such state. And it was them who pushed her to this point. She was not a meta or any other kind of superhero but at that moment she held the power of the hurricane and was about to throw it at them.

Shit.

“Y/N…” Jason raised his hands and tried to calm her down.

“Shut up, Jason!”

“ You heard the girl, shut up, Jason” Kyle laughed viciously

“THE SAME GOES FOR YOU RAYNER!”

“I’m sorry….” He whimpered and it was Jason’s turn to laugh.

“I am TIRED of being your toy. Exhausted to be precise. I’ve been making doe eyes at you, Todd for months now. Doe eyes that you chose to ignore every. single. fucking. time. And yet, the moment I move on from this silly, stupid, fucking, one-sided crush you decide to step it and ruin everything. Just because you wanted to? Just because you what? You get jealous now? Fuck, Jason, do you really think you can just do whatever you want, whenever you want, not caring about the others? Not caring what I have to say? Oh, hell no. You don’t hold such power over me. Not anymore.”

“Y/N….” Jason took a step forward, but she jumped away, almost like he was a disease she didn’t want to catch.

“Get away from me!” she hissed “We were just talking, you idiot! I was being nice, not that you know what it means! I’m done with both of you!”

“Wait, what did I do?” Kyle asked, now a bit confused

“Oh, nothing, sweetie.” Y/N mocked “just telling me the shit of improbable stories to make Jason angry while watching me laugh with you. Yeah, I noticed that.” She cut Jason off the moment he opened his mouth to say a thing in his defense “Well, genius, I was laughing at you, wondering when will you finally realize that I did my research and don’t believe a word you say. Are you familiar with the word sarcasm?”

“Haha! Burn!” Jason couldn’t help but let out a laugh

“And you, Todd, should  learn the meaning of the word honest. You are both losers. I want nothing to do with you. I’m out.”

And so she left. The only sound they heard after that was slamming of the door to her room. She had one at the Manor since her expert knowledge was sometimes needed and she was helping the bats while patrolling at night.

And then chewing on the cereals.

“Well that was quite the show….”

“SHUT UP GRAYSON!”

***

“Y/N? Please, open the door. I just wanna talk.”  Jason was knocking at her door for like 10 minutes now and yet, she didn’t bother answering and he started losing all hope.  Did he fuck up? Was all the chances he had with her gone just because he was a stupid idiot In love and therefore acting like crazy?

“She’s not there, you know.”  Tim emerged from his room, bothered by all the knocking and begging.

“What? then where is she?”

“Hm…. Not sure if I should tell you after everything that just went down…..”

“How do you….? Fuck, whatever. I swear if you don’t tell me where she hid I would burn all the coffee shops in the tristate area!”

“I equipped them all with the fireproof furniture and equipment a while ago. Had a feeling that sooner or later you will threaten me with the lack of coffee….Listen to me carefully, replacement…” Jason took a step forward, towering over Tim’s figure but before he could take any action, another voice joined the conversation.

“Boys. Why do you always have to act like savages? Y/N escaped to the roof. Guess she was in need of some air after that little outburst.”

“Thanks, Steph.”

“Always a pleasure. “ she winked “Oh, and Todd? Make sure to fix it. I really don’t like this Rayner guy, either.”

***

“Was it Steph? I know it was her.” Jason could only do as much as step into the rooftop when Y/N felt his presence. Apparently the time with bats sharpened her senses.

“Y/n. I just want to talk.”

“Ok. Sit. Talk. I’m listening.” She patted the spot next to her and Jason took it without any hesitation. She was willing to listen, maybe not everything was lost.

“I’m sorry” he sighed deeply and that made her turn her head and look straight into his eyes just to confirm if he actually did say the words she heard coming from him

“Wow! That would be the first time I ever heard you say a thing like that!” she laughed

“I mean it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was playing around with you or anything like this. It’s just…. just…..”

“What, Jace? Come on, just say it. Just be honest with me. I won’t laugh or judge you, I promise.”

“I had a crush on you.”

“Had?”

“All right, I still do!” he threw his hands in the air “Are you trying to humiliate me now?”

“For how long?” she asked looking at the space in front of her, not meeting his eyes and missing the fact that he was eyeing her with love sick puppy eyes, begging whatever deity was there that she would let him love her. Despite everything. He would put all the work in proving to her that he could be better. For her. For them. And if that required honesty – so be it.

“A year.” He muttered, almost inaudibly.

“A year?!” she cried “seriously, Jason! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“How was I supposed to tell you?! I didn’t know if you were feeling the same way! I couldn’t risk scaring you off. I couldn’t risk…. Losing you. ”

“You didn’t notice all those times when I was making a fool out of myself just to get your attention? I mean really, doe eyes?”

“I’m…. I’m not good with all that flirting and teasing and relationship stuff. I … I don’t recognize it well. Besides, you are my best friend and ….”

“And what?” she moved her whole body, so now she was not only facing him, but her whole figure was turned towards him “Just say it. Please.” She begged, looking straight into his eyes, not faltering for even a second. “Say it, cause I don’t think I can.”

“I wanna fuck up the friendship.” He gasped, not really believing the words coming out of his mouth. But once he started he just couldn’t stop the flow “I want to love you. I want to have you to myself. I want to be yours. I want to be able to hold you, touch you, kiss you. I don’t want to be just friends anymore. I want to make you mine. If you let a fool like me…..“

“And it’s not just because of Kyle?”

“Fuck no! I don’t give a single damn about him! I care about you, Y/N. In a more-than-friends way. I’m done pretending. ” he whispered looking down, his cheeks a bit reddened. Not a long though since she cupped his cheek and made him look at her.  “Please, be mine”he whimpered

“Jason, can you promise me you won’t act like a male ego embodied again?”

“I can’t.” he shook his head in resignation “I can’t cause I care too much and can’t help getting possessive sometimes and…..” She didn’t let him finish leaning forward and pressing her lips to his. This took him a bit by surprise, since he thought she was going to ditch him for not being able to promise her what she needed. And instead, she was kissing him?

Damn it, not just kissing, that was clearly an understatement. She was laying all her love on him. Those sweet, soft lips he was dreaming about for so long were on his, brushing over his gently and yet with so much passion he was practically melting. He wanted more and yet, all that tenderness and intimacy of sharing first kiss in the privacy of nighted rooftop was something to enjoy rather than to destroy by any urgency.

And so, even if still confused, he followed her lead, choosing delicacy and softness. Maybe it was what they both needed and enough to get him high and drunk on the feeling of her. He could feel her with every cell in his body. Her touches, her smell, her affection for him. All of it combined.

He barely held back a whine when she pulled back.

“Does this mean you forgive me?” he whispered, his hands aching to touch her and hold her to his chest, but holding back because he needed her direct answer. “For acting like a dumbass?”

“You had me at I wanna fuck up the friendship” she laughed lightly, changing position and settling between his legs, not fighting or running away.  

“You have no idea how long I wanted to say it.” He answered, wrapping arms around her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her neck softly, inhaling the fresh scent of her shampoo “So long, baby… so fucking long…..”

“Glad you choose the moment when I was forgiving and merciful” she chuckled “’because you know, it could have backfired on you.”

“But you’re not leaving?” his grip on her tightened in a sudden fright this was all just a crazy dream and in a minute he would wake up in his own bed, alone and cold, still yearning for her, none of those words from before said in real life.

“No.” she put her soft hands on his biceps, caressing his skin and all those scars reassuringly “I made up my mind, Jason. It’s you. It’s always been you. I’m done pretending too.“ she turned her head and hid face in the crook of his neck, nuzzling her nose over his skin. “I love you.”

In the darkness of the roof, with almost no stars on the sky and with her eyes closed,  she didn’t notice few tears that gathered in Jason’s eyes and flowing down his cheeks.

He had her.

He finally had her.

And he was not going to let go.

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd fluff #red hood fluff #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd angst #jason todd imagine #jason todd #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x oc #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood fanfiction #red hood imagine #red hood x fem!reader #red hood #red hood x y/n #fluff #dc fluff #jason todd fic #red hood angst #kyle rayner #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #dc angst

[avaelangel]

I am sad.

For unrelated reasons, but I am also concerned about what The Boys universe has in store for us. So here you go some random LiMoreou headcanons, because I want to feel something.

Warnings: cheese and no real time restraints.

They for sure do that couple hand-over-the-shoulders thing. Jordan does it while in male form, and Marie sort of adopts it when they're in the girl form. Jordan might be a bit startled about it at first, maybe even will change back just to be annoying. Marie will do one better and try to tackle them into bending down.

Jordan will probably try and teach Marie combat. She would be reluctant about it, but will come to a conclusion (maybe with Emma's help) that it's just a way for them to spend time together. It would be hard not to get distracted, though.

Marie at some point will try and get in between Jordan and something that threatens them in any way, regardless of what form they are in or who is the threat. This might happen when Jordan's parents come again.

They both would adopt each other's behaviors which would include being protective over Emma. Emma would be weirded out that Jordan cares, but will find it funny how them and Marie glare at any guy or girl that looks at her wrong.

Oh, there's no spooning rules for Marie and Jordan. Every night is different. Sometimes one of them can't really breath from the intensity of an embrace.

Jordan and Marie didn't have a shoulder to cry on growing up. After some time they both will realise that they have each other. I think, in both cases they will be good in soothing a crying love, but Jordan will think about solving the problem first and will need a moment to reaccess.

For sure would try to be the clingiest of couples if someone calls them gross.

Totally would have video game nights. Marie never had a console! Jordan has soooo much to show her.

First date in an arcade. Junk food, photobooth pictures and the most cursed plushies they could win for each other.

Jordan wears a lot of staples (t-shirts, tanks, turtlenecks of one color) which will find their way into Marie's closet. Maybe fun pants will immigrate too. Jordan will come stomping to raid Marie's closet then when that black sweatshirt with a skull disappears.

They are for sure going thrifting together. A million percent.

(this is a weird one, but) Jordan knows an abysmal amount of poetry from the days of chasing wrong people. When they start randomly reciting some Shakespear sonnet to Marie, she's so scared. But when Jordan does it to startle her again, Marie actually enjoys it. Jordan isn't bummed for long, because it starts a long conversation about literature.

Marie does indulge in Property Brothes marathons. She didn't get it first, but didn't say anything. Around season 6 she would actually understand the appeal.

That would spawn an idea to just hang out in paint stores and hardware stores.

Jordan for sure can put up a shelf and stuff. Once, they pulled out a fancy drill with a battery and Marie almost swoons for real.

#okay i will stop now #i just love them your honor #let them be happy #i do not trust anyone in that universe and in the writers room though #jordan li #marie moreau #mariejordan #limoreau #gen v #might write that crying bit

[deathmetalangel]

Helo! It's me again '^^

I loved your "Bad Joke" hcs so much that I want to request another bunch of headcanons for this cartoon! (Only if you want tho-)

What about some platonic headcanons of Rose Quartz, garnet, pearl, amethist and Steven (sepparetly if it's possible) reacting to a fem!gem! reader who is 13 years old (yeah, I'm obsessed with fem early teen readers) puffing herself for 3 weeks due to sadness because she felt unwanted.

You can totally ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable or if the topic is triggering! Have a nice day/night!

POOFING HEADCANONS (GEMS X FEM! READER/PLATONIC)

warnings: slightly depressive talk, abandonment issues if you squint, kind of angsty but not really?

y/n wasn’t as strong as her older companions, and thus wasn’t involved in as many missions or brought along all the time. that feeling can make anyone feel very unwanted. and sometimes desolated.

tysm for liking my writings and requesting. i’m really glad you liked the last headcanons :3 i hope these are just as good.

ROSE QUARTZ

- when y/n first poofed rose thought she had just run off

- perhaps she wanted a break from everyone

- eventually after not long of looking she finds her gem hidden away

- rose is so worried! how could she not have noticed

- keeps her gem with her at all times waiting for her to reform

- when she does rose’s motherly instincts kick in and she just hugs her so tight

- “i’m so sorry! why on earth would you do such a thing.”

- and when y/n explains her feelings rose is on the brink of tears

- how could she have failed as a leader to make her youngest recruit feel unwanted

- goes on for hours explaining why y/n is wanted and why she’s a valuable part of the team

- “you’re so strong and funny! what would we do without you y/n? not even just battle, what would we do around the temple without you. i love seeing you everyday y/n. i want to help you grow and change and embrace earth!”

- rose is a sap and they both cry together (she mostly cried because y/n was crying and she was wanted her to feel better)

GARNET

- of course she noticed her change in behavior

- how dejected she would get when her and steven had to stay behind

- but the infinite possibilities sapphire foretold never considered this path

- steven had found y/n’s gem and quickly brought it to garnet

- she is so so worried how could her future vision fail her

- she had become your mother in a way and this just broke her heart

- carefully kept her gem in her room, which no one ever entered, and counted the days she remained in her gem

- when she inevitably reformed garnet was struggling to hold herself together because she immediately began crying

- sapphire was scolding herself while ruby just wanted to help

- allows her to take her time before coaxing her out of the ball she had curled into

- when y/n explains garnet carefully removes her visor

- “i don’t care what you think, you are never unwanted here. you’re apart of the crystal gems even if we can’t always bring you along. i was only trying to protect you. i’m sorry y/n.”

- when she hugs her garnet cries even more

- she was so worried, but she was so glad y/n was back

- “you and steven are important to all of us, so please keep yourself safe. when you’ve trained more you’ll be on every single one of our missions i promise.”

PEARL

- pearl had a busy schedule almost all the time

- but she did take notice of y/n’s absence rather quickly

- pearl panics when steven is out of her eyes sight for a minute, but she really gets anxious when she hasn’t seen her in hours

- when she finds y/n’s gem she freaks out

- places it on a pillow and watches anxiously sort of like steven did when she got poofed

- pearl genuinely stayed in her room almost the whole time waiting for y/n to reform

- when she does she cries so much

- “y/n! what happened?”

- explaining everything made pearl feel so guilty

- “why would you ever think that? we all love you so much y/n. i’m sorry if i get sidetracked or overly indulged in my work, but i promise you that you’re never unwanted.”

- she cries in pearls arms while pearl ugly cries

- she was just genuinely afraid of loosing y/n like she did rose

AMETHYST

- amethyst would never say she was worried about y/n, but yeah she was always concerned

- she just always seemed distant

- amethyst tried her best to make her feel included

- when she finds her gem amethyst is so mad

- not at y/n, but at everyone else

- “how could you guys not see what was happening? even i seen it! this happened because you guys failed to make her feel like she was apart of the team!”

- she knows the feeling of not being wanted very well

- amethyst was very anxious waiting for y/n to reform

- especially as the weeks started to drag on and on

- when she does reform amethyst does not let her out of her bear hug

- “i’m not gonna say i don’t get it, i do. but y/n, you gotta believe me when i say that you are wanted here. the other gems just get busy with dumb stuff they forget about us sometimes. but even if pearl and garnet are busy, you still have me.”

- they are inseparable from then on

STEVEN

- steven is very oblivious, he’s a kid obviously

- but when he finds y/n’s gem he doesn’t stop crying

- worse than when he cried over snakes

- “pearl bring her back. please.”

- when the gems tell him that he has to wait on her to reform he cries more

- does not leave her gem alone

- even when garnet tries to tell him to give y/n space and time he refuses

- when she reforms steven starts crying again

- “what happened?!”

- hugs her so tight while he cries

- “what do you mean you feel unwanted, i want you here all the time y/n.”

- he doesn’t fully get it, he’s used to feeling belittled but not unwanted yk

- “i promise y/n you will never ever feel like that again. i’m so sorry.”

- now she starts crying because he’s crying so much

- but it did make her feel better after

#deathmetalangel #steven universe headcanon #steven universe x reader #steven universe #su #crystal gems x reader #crystal gems #garnet #amethyst #pearl

[ceruleanwhore]

People have talked about how a lot of the Ikemen games give all the suitors pets, so I thought I’d make a post of what pets I think the ikepri guys would have. 

WARNING: there’s a spoiler about Gilbert at the end, but the kind where you’d probably have to look something up to know what it is. Take that as you will.

Jin would absolutely have a small monkey that he’d wear on his shoulder into town as another way to pick up women. I could also see him training said monkey to steal little things from particular people he points out both as a way to get stuff from people for like his job but also as another, more contrived way to get women to talk to him. Think about it: Jin having his pet monkey steal a beautiful woman’s scarf so she has to chase it back to him and then he pretends to be surprised and disappointed that his pet did that and returns the object to its owner who now is falling for his charm and starting to think that maybe the monkey isn’t so bad.

Chevalier would have a cat because, as Sebastian from Black Butler once said, they do not say useless things or do them, plus they tend to be independent, clean, and kill vermin. He’d manage to find a cat that’s pretty much silent and never meows and also is fairly independent so, aside from occasionally curling up on Chev’s lap (silently) while he’s reading, it doesn’t require much from him.

Clavis would get a loud, messy dog like a rat terrier or a hound that he would deliberately not train to get rid of those typically undesirable behaviors because he likes the chaos and it annoys Chev and Sariel.

Leon would have a peregrine falcon. In older times, like the sort of time period ikepri is set in, there was a hierarchy of which birds of prey guys could have depending on what their title was as royalty or nobility, and princes got peregrines, so I think that’s appropriate.

Yves would have some kind of bird, I’m thinking a rosy-faced lovebird. I could see it being a gift one of his brothers brought back for him from another country where they’re native, since it seemed that Yves could use a friend.

Licht would have an Irish wolfhound that he’d take for very long walks every morning at some ungodly hour when normal people are asleep.

Nokto would have a ferret. Being as clever as he is, he’d do well with an equally clever pet, plus he’ll be able to properly care for it and train it. I could see him teaching his ferret a bunch of tricks, including sneaking into locked rooms and unlocking doors from the inside.

Luke would have a fucking badger. Idk it just makes sense to me.

Sariel wouldn’t have a pet of his own but, since the king’s death, he would take over the duties of caring for the late king’s gyrfalcon until a new king is chosen and that bird then goes to whoever Emma picks to be the next king. This is also coming from that bird hierarchy I mentioned with Leon.

Rio would have a bunny because it reminds him of Emma. He is a golden retriever, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to then get a dog, but something that reminds him of his beloved Emma makes sense for him. He’d ‘joke’ about how it’s to keep him company while she’s at work and how he pretends it’s her and they have long conversations or whatever.

Silvio would have something really small and cute like a stoat that’s like the dead opposite of Silvio. He would’ve rescued it somehow and from there he’s just really attached to it and protective of it.

Keith would be really fond of the fish in the pond at the Jade palace and that’s as close as he gets to having a pet because he’s a sad boi who doesn’t trust himself not to hurt the things and people he loves.

Gilbert would have a golden eagle (more of that bird stuff) and he would 1000% keep that secret from anyone outside the Obsidian royal palace, because it’s a giveaway of who he really is. Also, I feel like he would actually have a close relationship with his bird, plus I do think rather than using the bird for hunting like actual royalty did, he would use it to intimidate people and also to send messages occasionally.

#ikemen prince #ikemen series #ikepri #cybird #cybird ikemen #jin grandet #chevalier michel #clavis lelouch #leon dompteur #yves kloss #licht klein #nokto klein #luke randolph #sariel noir #rio ortiz #valerio ricci #silvio ricci #keith howell #gilbert von obsidian

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hey, I like your writing. Would it be alright if we get Ganyu and Hu Tao with a pre-S/o who obviously has a crush on them but is to shy to confess their feeling. So it's up to them to take initiative. Thank you.

Them with a reader that’s too shy to confess their obvious crush to them

characters: Hu Tao / Ganyu / Keqing x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: I decided to add Keqing because I feel like I haven't written for her in a long time, and frankly, because I could.

If there's something I got wrong about your request, feel free to say and I'll try again once i find the motivation/time to.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Hu Tao

While, at this point, most people would think that Hu Tao had no idea how to read a room, the funeral director was confident in saying that their theory couldn’t be more false, as she simply chose to ignore it whenever she could. So when you started acting increasingly shy and nervous around her, she was quick to pick up on your behavior. And once she noticed how you were acting, her discovering why was already on the horizon.

Of course Hu Tao used this gained knowledge to sort things out for the two of you. Or at least she will… eventually. After she got her fun first.

The longer you stared at the lines of the poem Hu Tao had handed you, the more of a weird feeling you got in your stomach. It was unusual enough for her to write anything that wasn’t at least 50% meant as a joke, so when you saw that it was about love you wished for nothing more than to either sink into the ground or wake up from this awkward scenario. 

What didn’t help was the fact that she continued to stare at you with a grin the whole time, not seeming to blink once whenever you stole a quick glance towards her.

“Uhm”, you tried to find the right words to start, only for Hu Tao to cut you off.

“Is there a problem?”, she asked, almost sounding genuine, if it weren’t for her grin growing bigger.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why didn’t you choose anyone else to proofread this?”, you nervously asked, seeing her playfully tilt her head from the corner of your eye.

“Who else should I hand it to? Xingqiu? Nothing against him, but he really isn’t made for criticizing romantic poetry”, she was quick to respond, letting out a small yawn as the first sunrails made their way towards you, causing you to realize how long it was since she had dragged you out here.

“And I am better at talking about these kinds of texts for what reason?”, you asked with all the sarcasm you could muster, both of you knowing damn well how bad you were with any material about romance.

“Your reactions are funny”, she stated almost matter of factly while raising her pointer finger and pointing at a specific verse in the poem, looking at you expectedly. “Reread this once more and tell me if there’s something to change”, she demanded, causing your eyes to scan those words once again, only for the realization that the person described shared a lot of features with you… Almost too many for this whole thing to be a coincidence.

Before you had a chance to say anything however, Hu Tao snatched the paper out of your hands, giving you a smile before playfully patting your shoulder.

“Oh no, it seems like a new morning has dawned, which means that a new day of work lies ahead of us, so sorry that I have to cut this short all of a sudden”, she feigned sadness, only to give you one of her usual mischievous smiles. “But hey, if you need to tell me anything, you know where to find me.”

Ganyu

When you first began acting awkwardly around Ganyu, going so far as to avoid looking her in the eyes, the more anxious side of her began worrying she may have unintentionally done something that caused your behavior, only for you to blush whenever she mentioned it before trying to assure her that everything was fine.

It was only after one specific, purple haired coworker of hers started to notice the way you two acted around each other and decided that enough was enough, that Ganyu was confronted with the possibility of you having caught feelings. And while the intention of revealing your somewhat obvious crush was to make the half Adeptus stop worrying too much, it turned out to have the exact opposite effect as Ganyu also began to turn into a nervous wreck whenever she was around you.

Taking the initiative in situations like these never was something Ganyu was all too fond of, her own anxiety not exactly helping in making things easier. Nevertheless here she was, waiting for you to meet her as she requested, doubts about this whole thing quickly starting to invade her mind, only for her to try and shake them off once she saw your form in the distance.

“Good morning Ganyu!”, you greeted her, a smile on your face as you made your way over to her, completely oblivious to how much of an anxious wreck she was at the moment.

Or at least you were until she presented you with a rose, barely managing to look you in the eyes as the color of her face started to turn into the same shade of red as the flower.

“I-I’ve heard of a nearly opened shop that sells beautiful flowers, so I wanted to… buy you one”, she mumbled just loud enough for you to hear, the sudden change in atmosphere causing you to start blushing as well, slowly taking the rose out of her hand, making sure not to sting yourself on any of its thorns.

“T-Thanks, I would have brought something with me too if I knew you bought me something. Please excuse me for a minute, I’ll get you something”, you offered, trying your best to get out before your nervousness took over completely, only to stop when you heard Ganyu speak up again.

“Wait!”, she almost yelled, immediately stopping herself once she realized how loud she was, lowering her voice drastically. 

“There’s something I wanted to tell you.”

Keqing

No matter what way she looked at it, Keqing couldn’t help but feel slightly infuriated. You were her secretary, the first one to hold out for such a long time at that, so why were you spending less and less time around her, preferring to pretend to be busy running errands around the office?

This wasn’t jealousy that was speaking of course, it wasn’t like she started to enjoy having you around her at work so much that she couldn’t help but feel lonely whenever you weren’t, but if you had a problem with her, you should simply tell her that face to face instead of trying to run away.

And so, the Yuheng decided to ambush you somewhere private, fully intending to resolve whatever issues you had in a direct way.

“O-oh Keqing. Is there something you need?”, you asked, nearly jumping as Keqing appeared from behind the corner, cutting off your way suddenly enough that you nearly ran into her..

“Yes. I need you”, she stated, her tone sounding slightly frustrated, only for her eyes to slightly widen once she realized that her words could be taken another way, quickly adding a few more. “-to do your job as my secretary.”

While Keqing may have been full of resolve when she set out to confront you, the longer she had to wait for you, the more she began to actually fear what could happen. What if you really had a problem with her? Would you resign? Did you not enjoy working together as much as she did? At this point it was fair to say that she was feeling somewhat nervous, increasingly hoping that this all turned out to be some kind of misunderstanding.

“I can’t help but feel like you're avoiding me. Even now I had to basically ambush you to get you to even speak to me”, she explained while crossing her arms, checking your face for any reactions before taking a deep breath and continuing, “If you have a problem with me, just say it”, Keqing tried her best to continue her confident facade, only for it to slowly giving way with each and every word, her nervousness making its way onto her face.

“I don’t have a problem with you”, you quickly blurted out, only to almost instantly be cut off by the Yuheng.

“Then what is it?”

Her question almost instantly managed to shut you up, causing you to look around nervously as you tried your best to find the right words to continue with. Eventually letting out a long sigh as you closed your eyes in defeat.

“Could we go somewhere more private? I… have some things I need you to know.”

#hu tao x reader #hu tao x you #hu tao x y/n #hu tao #hu tao imagines #ganyu x reader #ganyu x you #ganyu x y/n #ganyu #ganyu imagines #keqing x reader #keqing x you #keqing x y/n #keqing #keqing imagines

[dirtytransmasc]

What would happen if someone on the sea dragon said something bad about spider, or maybe someone got to close for comfort and made him uncomfortable?

CW - vauge mentions of like s/a, pushing boundaries, grooming, stuff in that direction, but nothing direct or graphic.

so I'm 90% this ask is in some way connected to my post about quaritch worrying about spider being around other humans while only wearing a loincloth. if its not, just send me another.

I think stuff like this would be really difficult for spider to understand. he had never encountered such a greed, such a human lust to take from other's without their consent. I think if spider were to experience any sort of predation or overzealous shows of attention from someone on the sea dragon, he would either just let it happen (cause he may not want to associate with humans and their ways, that boy is so desperate to fit in, eventually he has to break and doing everything he can to just sorta fit in) or he would try to fight it off and potentially land himself in an even more dangerous situation. this could greatly depend on exactly who it was/what happened exactly, and both have different outcomes.

if spider tries to just accept it, hiding it because every instinct he has is telling him its wrong, making him feel shameful and dirty. he would just take it in silence. I think because spider was raised by the na'vi, people who didn't have a concept of that level greed, of taking whats not yours, he is the 'perfect victim' of grooming, because the right person with the right approach wouldn't even have to try. it doesn't even have to be overtly sexual, he could be taken advantage of in so many ways, and it makes me so deeply sad.

quaritch would find out eventually, when spider becomes much more modest all the sudden, avoiding leaving his room, sneaking off when he does leave. when he finds out he's committing a murder, like a violent one, cupcake totally just went haywire when a certain someone tried to mess with her, mmm hmmm, that's what happened. not only that but he stops biting his tongue about giving spider the "humans suck, all we feel is greed, they're dangerous, and you need to be careful" talk, that and the "I know I said I wasn't your dad, but I will kill for you, I will die for you, if anyone so much as looks at you wrong, tell me, and I'll make sure they regret it" not to mention the more educational conversations a father has to have with their son.

if spider fights back, quaritch would do something quite similar, maybe a little less drastic as he caught onto it before his boy was hurt too much, but he would be throwing them to sea to be eaten by an akula.

and for just icky behavior/comments, if the recoms caught onto it before anything could happen, they're getting their shit absolutely rocked, like they have a permanent reminder when they're done with them, and its like a reminder to never hurt their boy ever again.

#spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #miles quaritch #quaritch #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water

[brokemypen]

Senior Skip Day Pt. 1

Paring: Eddie Munson x reader

Summary: Reader’s got a secret, a guilty one. She wants her best friend, Eddie Munson to take her virginity. What better day to spill her guts than on senior skip day?

Part 2 here

Warnings: Reader is a virgin (obvi), light smut, minors do not interact!! reader masturbates, drug use. I think that’s it! Eddie is a goofy sweetheart in this.

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: ((This is not my gif, all credit goes to the owner.))

I know we’ve all been feral over Eddie so I wanted to write a two parter. I’m honestly so obsessed with the idea of sweet Eddie being a first. I keep reading a bunch of stories on it, so I imagine ya’ll agree. I loved the feedback on my last fic. It literally means so much to me and makes me want to write more. Enjoy! <3 -P

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You and Eddie had been best friends for the last three years. You remember moving to the town of Hawkins at the fresh age of fifteen. You were kind of a dork then, exactly the type of person Eddie wanted in his close circle.

Although you had kind of outgrown your dorkiness when it came to your sense of fashion and overall confidence, you still loved playing dnd and spending your weekends with Eddie. The two of you would often watch cheesy horror movies or spend some time in the woods, smoking and doing other behaviors that might be frowned upon.

You couldn’t help but admit to yourself now though, as a senior, that during the last three years, you had a growing crush on Eddie. And it was starting to make you really sad that in a few months you’d be graduating and most likely leaving Hawkins. Because truth be told, he was the shining star of this shit town. No matter what they called Eddie, he was the best thing in your life.

He was so kind and generous. On nights that you couldn’t sleep he wouldn’t hesitate to pick you up and drive around with you just to clear your mind. It didn’t matter how tired he was, he was always there for you. 

That’s when the thought came to you one night, when you were racked with anxiety over leaving it all behind. It was a small thought in the inner mix of about a hundred other thoughts, but it seemed to jump out at you the more you thought about it. What if Eddie took your virginity? You sort of laughed as soon as you realized, but really, what if he did?

You were so nervous at the entire idea of sex, which is why you never got very far in any relationship you had. They were always too rough, too pushy, and you always had the gut feeling that it didn’t feel like the right time.

But when you thought of the possibility of Eddie being the one to do it, your gut feeling was less of a nausea feeling, and more of a butterfly kind of feeling. You didn’t realize before, but that growing crush on him was both a mental and physical thing. Sure he was attractive to you, the more he grew into himself. But you found your eyes lingering more and more when he was just doing mundane stuff. The way his tongue would stick out when he concentrated on his homework. The way his fingers looked strumming the strings on his guitar. Or, god, when he would shrug his shirt off to work on his car, holy cow.

You knew Eddie would be the one to take his time, he wouldn’t pressure you, and you genuinely believed he would make you feel good, instead of being all for himself, like those other boys were. I mean you knew he obviously wasn’t a virgin, from the cuffs on his wall, to the trojans that laid on his dresser. You also knew that Eddie had a kind heart, a heart that you actually loved and you knew no one else would treat you as amazing as he already did.

You already felt wired as you reached down to your thighs, softly caressing them as you imagined it being Eddie’s hands. You slowly moved them up your body, grazing your hips, your stomach, and your breasts. How amazing his large hands would feel around them, massaging them while he kissed you. With one hand still attached to your breast, you slowly trailed the other one down to your heat, which was already slick, as your brain continued the scenario. 

You imagined his fingers slowly dragging through your folds, softly moving his way up to your clit. You began circling, arching your back at how good it felt, the heat rising through. 

You stayed that way for what felt like hours as you continued imagining his hands on your whole body. How his lips would kiss and suck your neck. You imagined his hard cock against you, how heavy it would feel in your hand. You wondered what he would taste like, how he would sound when he moaned.

You slowly slid a finger inside as your mind then wandered to the idea of him pushing himself inside you, how he would stretch you out. Would he have his lips on you then or would he whisper dirty things into your ear? You knew his strokes would be slow, and so you imitated that, pushing your finger in and out. With the other hand you continued rubbing your clit.

Before you knew it you were thrashing against the mattress as an unbelievably explosive orgasm ripped its way through you. You were still rubbing, working yourself through it when the instant regret crept its way through you as well. You just masturbated to the idea of your best friend. There was literally no way you could ever come back from this.

You stayed up even longer after that, your mind racing with guilt until you looked over, reading the clock at 4 am. But another thought appeared and it was that you clearly liked Eddie. You just had to accept that because you couldn’t keep pretending that you didn’t. 

That also meant you had to confess this to Eddie because he could read you like a book. As soon as he saw your face, he would know something was up. So that’s when you decided you would be telling your best friend that not only did you like him, but that you also wanted him to be the one to take your virginity. 

You got ready for school that morning extra early. You were already wide awake, but also trying to come up with what to say. It wasn’t a debate anymore, you were going to do it. What if he laughed or thought it was stupid? Or even worse, what if it ruined everything. That would destroy you. Anxiety filled you until you were almost brought to tears. You continued to dwell on it until you heard something hit your window.

As you got closer, the sound came again, and you reached over, ripping the curtain open. Your heart almost leaped out of your chest when you saw it was Eddie. He stood down below waving at you to open your window. 

“The hell are you doing, Munson?” You whisper yelled, poking your head out. “It’s too early for you to be here.”

“So?? When has that ever been an issue?” He smiled up at you. 

He then reached in his pocket, pulling out a small baggie of what you assumed was pot. “Wanna skip school today?” He said, waving the bag at you. “Have you lost your mind, Eddie? Put that way.” You looked around, praying no one could see him. He had already been in enough trouble as it was. “Relax, no one's awake yet. Come down.” He pleaded with those big puppy dog eyes of his. “Pleeeaassseee.”

You let out a long sigh. He would stand out there all day if you didn’t go down there. You closed the window and made your way downstairs, being as quiet as you could so you wouldn’t wake your parents up. You shut the door extra carefully for good measure. 

Once you were outside Eddie seemed to be giddy with excitement, almost bouncing up and down as you made your way across the lawn. 

“What’s got you so hyper?” You laughed, putting your hands on his shoulders to get him to relax. “It’s an exciting day y/n!” His wide smile shining, as he put the bag away. “Guess what I did?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“What could you have possibly done at five in the morning?”

“I’ve been in the works for quite some time actually, spreading the word, putting up fliers around school.” He put his hands on your shoulders. “No one knows it was me.” He bit his lip, smiling even more, if that was possible. “I’m calling it ‘senior skip day’.”

My jaw dropped. “That was you?! That’s literally all anyone can talk about.” You were shocked, but honestly not surprised. 

With the anxious night you had, you had completely forgotten that your entire class was planning on skipping today. And it was a fantastic idea. I mean who could punish an entire group of seventeen and eighteen year olds, when in just a few months they would be graduating. It almost felt like a right of passage. You laughed at his goofy excitement, of course he came up with it? Who else would. It just made you sad you would be the only one to know.

“Alright, Eddie you’ve convinced me. I’m in.” You reached a hand out to shake his, him instantly taking it, dragging you to the van. You didn’t know what the plan was, but you didn’t care. You felt on cloud nine just being with him. Your feet on the dash, the windows were open and he had you cracking up. It felt easy with him, all anxiety out the window. Then you knew it would all be okay. You could tell him anything after all, the worst he could say is no, and realistically if that happened, you felt as if you could let it go.

The two of you decided to do what you always do, which is hang out in the woods. It was a comforting place, full of memories and the best part, you knew no one would catch you there today. Eddie made you laugh talking about all the posers who’d immediately get busted at the mall.

You guys made sure to stop for snacks and made your way to the spot. You perched on your normal place on top of the picnic table. You were turned facing Eddie, watching him roll a perfect joint. It all felt innocent until Eddie licked the paper, and then again to seal it. You felt that familiar flutter in your stomach and remembered the conversation you needed to have.

Your leg was bouncing and you were completely oblivious until Eddie spoke up.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking the whole damn table.” He lit the end of the joint, exhaling the smoke, he held it out to you. 

You accepted it, bringing it to your lips and took a long drag off of it. The smoke filled your lungs, relaxing your body and allowed you to actually think about what you were about to say.

You passed the joint back to him, taking a deep breath before you began.

“We’ll always be best friends right? Like no matter what?” You asked, looking him in the face as you did.

“Yeah, who else is gonna put up with my shit.” He laughed.

“No, like seriously, Eddie.” 

He could see you were serious. He took another drag from the joint and put it out, giving you his full attention.

“What’s on your mind?” He looked concerned. He could tell from your body language that what you were about to say was making you nervous, the bouncing in your leg continuing. “Hey you know you can tell me anything. I’m not going to judge you.”

You took another deep breath, thinking fuck it, there’s no go back, and spilled your guts to him.

“Eddie I’m so scared about the future and us and I’m so scared that what I’m about to say is going to ruin our friendship, but I have to say it.” You were rambling, but Eddie stayed quiet, letting you get it all out. “I don’t want to leave Hawkins a virgin and every guy in this stupid town is the worst. You’re so kind and you mean the absolute world to me and if I’m being honest I feel so safe with you. So safe that I-.” You paused, slowing down to catch your breath. “Eddie, I want it to be you.”

You were staring at the picnic table unable to look him in the eye. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, even out here in the brush of the woods. It felt like minutes passed until you raised your eyes towards him. He was looking away, his eyes wide like he was contemplating the universe. He was completely still until he sighed, reaching up to run his hands over his face. 

Eddie collected his thoughts, turning to you. He pursed his lips and his hands made fists. Not like he was mad, though, it looked more like he was trying to concentrate.

“I just want to make it very clear that I meant it when I said I wouldn’t judge you. I know that it took a lot of guts to say that, but I guess I’m just confused as to why?”

“I know it’s stupid and completely out of left field. We can just forget it.” You were defeated. This was a bad idea. “Hey I’m not saying no.” You were looking at the picnic table again, fiddling with a leaf, your head somewhere else when he leaned over to meet your eyes. “Can you look at me?”

You did, he had a smile on his face. And true to his nature he reached over to hold your hand, easing your worries.

“Did you hear me? I’m not saying no. I guess I just want to know-” he paused.  “Like why me? I know you said all the other guys in this town are stupid and I get that, but there’s more. I can see it on your face.”

Your heart was racing. Had you heard him right? 

“Y/n.” He spoke, you being clearly lost in thought.

“Eddie, you're my best friend, but I also have feelings for you.” You sighed, just wanting to get it out. “And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you and kinda-kinda thought about us doing it.”

A smile grew on his lips. “When and where?

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things smut

[kentosbabes]

Hi how was your day! I hope it was good

(Everything from here is my daddy issues screaming)

Imagine nanami (maybe gojo and geto to if we’re feeling a lil silly)

With a reader who has daddy issues(self projection🧍‍♀️) both kinds…

The shouting and yelling one aswell as the distant one

Cause like yk my dad is in another country and when I do see him it’s really awkward and usually ends in some sort of fight

If I had to explain the relationship I have with my dad I would need a year cause it’s so complicated

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT LETS GET INTO THE ACTUAL STUFF

So I can’t really form relationships with men cause I’m scared I’ll get hurt again but when I do it hits me like a train wreck cause I get attached to older men so quickly

Literally any type of praise from men makes me start sobbing

At the end of the day I’m just an angry little girl who wants her daddy back

THATS THE SCRIPT BASICALLY

I just want nanami to praise me then comfort me as I cry about how much I hate and miss him All at the same time

Imagine how confused he would be when I start sobbing just cause he told me good job after I done something so small like waking up early then I explain that I’ve never felt that kind of fatherly love before and it just makes me crumble

Imagine how he would look at me when I start staring at a dad and his little girl being happy together not crying or anything just staring wondering why he couldn’t be like that and what I did wrong to make him so angry at me

this is so long I’m sorry if this is to long or to blunt 😅😅

OH MY I hope you're okay...

but I can relate in a way, having a father who isn't from here and had a difficult childhood means he often projects his own issues onto me. I'm also very similar to him and I do everything to try to live up to his standards but that means we often just clash and argue all the time. The need for praise is probably what led me here and my obsession with older men...ANYWAYS this is going to be very self-indulgent but I hope you enjoy &lt;3

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

After a long day at work, Nanami cannot wait to come home to you. Although he knows you may not be the happiest due to him working overtime again, he hopes he can make it up to you with lots of kisses.

Just as he anticipates your standing in the kitchen with music playing while you sir of what he assumes is his favorite food. You're dancing around with an apron that says 'I love my boyfriend' tied tightly to your body. 'Hey love' he says as he walks towards you, dropping his bags in the process. You turn and smile at him bringing him into a tight hug. 'you're in a good mood' he mumbles into your neck.

'missed you' you say pecking his cheek before focusing back on the dinner. Nanami wraps his arms tight around you and begins kissing you neck sweetly.

'It smells so good my love' he says his chin resting on your shoulder 'Your such a good cook'. You lay your head on his as you begin to plate up the dinner.

Nanami can't help but notice your change in behavior as he continues to praise your hard work. 'I'm so lucky, god your amazing' he practically moans out while he takes another bite of food. Usually, you blush and get all flustered at his praises, instead, you don't touch your food at all and begin playing with your fingers under the table.

He watches as you get up and begin to wash up the dishes. Nanami thinks it's because he worked overtime and how he hasn't been as present as usual. He pushes the thoughts of insecurity to the back of his mind and walks back up to you, helping dry the dishes. 'That was perfect baby thank you' he says whilst putting a plate away.

You sigh at his words. Thoughts of memories with your father flooding through your mind. How he would dance with you in the kitchen and feed you the food he cooks. All of the good and loving memories of him fade away as Nanami continues to praise you. As much as you appreciate his support you can't help the feeling of sadness that creeps up into you. The memories of the arguments and fights with your dad and the constant trying for his appriciation.

The feeling begins flowing through your chest and your surroundings begin caving in on you. Nanami watches as you drop everything and rush off to the bathroom. He finishes up the dishes deciding on giving you some space.

The tightness in your chest only begins to get worse and you find yourself being sick. The constant thoughts of your dad and how he made you feel mixed with the love and care you so dearly miss was overwhelming. Your boyfriend is quick to rush into the bathroom and soothingly rub your back.

He doesn't question you, he just pulls you into his chest and lets you cry. The feeling begins to ease as he softly rubs circles into your back. 'come on love, let's get you to bed' he says before helping you up and laying you in bed.

Nanami cleans up the bathroom and kitchen before joining you. His fingers draw patterns on your arm as you lay on your back facing the ceiling. You cant help the thoughts that invade your mind. The good and the bad memories of your dad mixed with the anger you have for him.

The memories of how he would take you to the mall after being gone for weeks to make up lost time. And how quickly that happiness would be ruined. The arguments about your grades and lack of support he provided. Then he's gone again, whether physically or mentally it would go weeks before the cycle then repeats itself.

The lack of appreciation and support he provided is what made you fall in love with Nanami. All he does is shower you with praises and compliments and makes sure to support you in everything you do. Yet this time it was different. You couldn't help but imagine how things would be different if your own father showed you the love and affection you deserved.

'whatever bothering you love stop thinking about it.' Nanami's voice snaps you out of your thoughts 'We will deal with it tomorrow, just get some sleep'.

'Kento' you say softly turning to look at him. he hums in response 'I love you'.

He smiles widely before pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. 'I love you to now get some sleep my love'. His words send you right to sleep. His gentle touches taking away the bad throughs and allowing you to fall softly to sleep.

-

'You're up early' Nanami says turning to look at you waddling out of the bedroom. You groan out in response, going to sit next to him on the sofa.

'You slept very well though, I'm proud of you' he says placing a soft kiss to your temple.

You don't know what flows through you at that moment. Whether it was anger or annoyance, you just felt like you wanted out of there. It was all getting too much. The memories and images of your father back flowing in your mind. The fighting and the screaming at one another. Just begging for his approval. You shove out of Nanami's hold moving to the other side of the sofa. 'babe what's wrong?' he asks reaching out for you.

'won't you just leave me alone' you mumble looking down at your hands. Nanami's expression is filled with confusion. He thought maybe you were just stressed yesterday and some sleep would help, but this was different. This wasn't who he knew, but that didn't mean he was going to stop trying to help. So he reaches out to you again.

But you're quick to get up from your seat and practically shout 'Leave me alone' before ranting on about how he's never home and you never see him and how bad it makes you feel.

Although slightly shocked Nanami still proceeds to reach out for you as you wave your hands around and shout. He can't shake the feeling that there is something else behind all of this. That he's somehow triggered a memory that has left you agitated.

'my love, it's okay' he says softly as he rises from his seat. 'I'm sorry I haven't been as present as usual, and I will do better from now on. I just can't shake the feeling that there's something else'

His hand reaches out for yours once more and his soft touch sends you over the edge as you begin sobbing into his chest. His arms wrap tightly around you as your clutch onto his pajama top. Your tears begin to wet his shirt but he doesn't care, he just wants to be there for you in any way he can.

After a while of holding you, your sobs begin slowing and he sits you down on his lap, rubbing circles onto your thigh. 'talk to me my love' his simple words, allows you to feel safe in his arms like he won't leave you like your father.

And so you explain everything, from the good memories from when you were young to the fights that happened when you got older. You tell him about the anger you still feel towards him but also how much you miss him and want to be his little girl again.

'oh my love that's horrible. You deserve all the love in the world and I will do everything to make sure you know that' he continues to comfort you through your breakdown until he has you giggling in his arms

'I'm serious my dad did that to me can you believe that?' he chuckles watching as you smile up at him. 'come on let's make pancakes and then maybe we can have a picnic, how does that sound?'

'it sounds perfect Kento, thank you' you say pulling him into a soft kiss.

Before you know it you're laying down in the sun with Nanami whilst he feeds you strawberries. Everything is perfect from the sweet strawberries to the way his hair softly blows in the wind.

Soft giggles can be heard not too far away and you turn to look where they're coming from. You see a young girl playing with her dad running around. Nanami is quick to notice your staring and brings a hand to your chin turning you so your eyes meet his own. 'I know that must bring such sad memories into your mind, but there's no point thinking what if, you wouldn't be the beautiful person you are today without it and I love you no matter any imperfections you think you have, to me your perfect'. He smiles down and softly kissing your lips before beginning to tickle you 'Now we've just got to make sure you know how deserving you are'.

we. you and him together. 'o-okay Kento stop that tickles!' you giggle out collapsing onto his chest.

#kentosbabes #kento nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento #nanami headcanons #nanami kento drabble #jujutsu kaisen #jjk nanami #jjk x y/n #jjk #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #jujustsu kaisen x reader

[kitkatopinions]

The writing of V9 kind of feels like... When you go to someone and tell them "hey the thing you did was a mistake just to let you know" and they respond by being like "well I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I supposedly ruined everything! What do you want me to do, throw myself onto the ground sobbing? Just give up? Kill myself? Is that what you want from me? You know, people make mistakes, but I'm a good person, alright? I'm not perfect, but stop acting like I'm a monster!" And then like, two hours later you see that they made a post on Facebook that's like 'there's too much judgement in the world today and it's so sad. I just want everyone to know that no matter what other people say, you are perfectly imperfect and you've got this, super star. And the people that try to make you feel small and take away from your joy never really deserved you in the first place. This is a lesson I'm learning every day as I navigate trying to deal with people who seem to like to take their problems out on me. But I know I can stand by my choices and need to keep being me."

To clarify, it doesn't feel like Ruby specifically is like that - Despite the major flaws in her writing, she's the least bad of her friend group right now and I'm very sympathetic to her. But it feels more like the writers saw people going "these characters aren't perfect and are making mistakes and need to grow and learn" and they started being like

They were really ambiguous with what mistakes the characters made as if they themselves didn't think they actually had made mistakes, they went way more over the top than they had to so it feels like they were punishing Ruby the character to also punish the critics. And then it feels like they had their whole narrative about how Jaune and Ruby and Weiss all realize that their ambiguous and no big deal 'mistakes' aren't something they should grow from and learn from and decide to change for the better over, they're just things that happen and it doesn't mean you need to grow and change, it just means you aren't all powerful. The message really felt like 'so what if bad things sometimes happen around the main rwby characters? Everyone should stop expecting them to grow because they don't need to because we keep saying they're good people, and good people are fine, so everyone needs to stop being overly dramatic about the supposed mistakes."

It really does feel like the rwby writers put out this season in which change for the better and growth and learning are completely dismissed (beyond 'making your body better' by killing yourself, which is a whole different can of worms,) and the actual 'message' behind the season felt like it was "stop complaining, the rwby mains are good people, they don't need to grow and learn and change for the better, so shut up." And tbh, this message coming right after the massive controversies of Rooster Teeth is very not promising and it's hard for me to read it in any sort of good light. Like...

'People Make Mistakes Sometimes But They Don't Need to Grow Or Change Their Ways Because They're Good People Underneath, So Anyone Who Tries To Bother Them About Their Mistakes Is In The Wrong' feels very not super great after the whole company of Rooster Teeth seemed to put up a 'Nevermind about all that' banner and still hasn't paid their staff and Miles Luna still hasn't apologized for his horrible past behavior as far as I know and they're all begging fans to keep watching Rwby and selling bees merch through the company without paying their trans VA properly.

I'd find it much more meaningful - both personally and coming from the writers and for the characters - if V9 involved acknowledging how the mains messed up and what their flaws were, had the girls act regretfully over mistakes, had change and becoming better be the focus instead of staying the same and not doing anything differently... Etc. It looks really bad that the only lesson the writers seemed to want their characters to learn was 'sometimes letting people hurt themselves is good because they might get a better body.'

#rwde #tw; suicide #trigger warning; suicide

[mha-grievances]

Another character I’m interested in your opinion on. And if you already did her, feel free to say so.

I love Uraraka as a character and, even if the show itself fades into obscurity,I’m not sure that will go away, she leaves that positive of an impact on me. But to be honest, I feel opposite about certain things with her as opposed to how the fandom thinks of her. And do you have any ideas on how to improve or different ideas for her?

There’s one thing I still don’t get or understand, and maybe you can help explain (or maybe nothing to explain at all). In the beginning of the manga, Uraraka states she went to U.A so she can get a good, paying job for her parents. (And I think that’s such a realistic and relatable motive).

But after the Overhaul raid, there’s that scene where Uraraka says she wants to help people when she’s talking to Aizawa, which overtime paved the way to “Who Helps The Heroes When They Need Help?” (Something that’s also completely in character of her.) But I heard from a lot of fans saying how that’s peak character development for her, changing her focus being a hero for money to wanting to help others. Even Horikoshi went in on this, using Aizawa to comment on how Uraraka “grew up” after the 1-A vs 1-B fight.

And I’m over here thinking, “…has anyone been paying attention to her at all?” Our introduction to her is literally her saving a stranger from face planting just because. She’s always shown to want to care and look out for others. The flashback of her as a child showed helping people and making them happy and smiling is in her nature. She wants to be a RESCUE hero. This isn’t a shift in her character whatsoever, it’s been established from the first season who she is. Why are we all of a sudden treating like it’s something revolutionary? What’s wrong with her wanting to have both goals?

Another thing I feel in the minority about is her dynamic with Toga.

I hate it. Both Toga and their “relationship”, whatever that is.

I don’t understand how they are suppose to be each other’s foils. All I see in Toga is a collection of fetishes that’s given a name and a sad backstory that is suppose to shield her for her selfish desires and psychotic behavior, but fails miserably. The only connection they have is crushing on the same guy. And because Toga’s crush is the only thing she has that makes her relevant at all, Uraraka is forced into the situations where Midoriya is the ONLY thing they talk about, further pushing that she’s nothing more than a love interest. So if anyone should be blamed for Uraraka for becoming nothing but a L.I, you should turn your frustrations to Toga. Uraraka has been trying to become more than just a girl with a crush on a boy.

Anyway, do you have ideas on what can be done to improve Uraraka? Such as have it to where instead of finding inspiration solely in Midoriya, she learns and finds inspiration from others? Or viceversa: we see more instances of people being motivated and look to her for guidance? Should she have a different villian? Things like that.

As a character, I like Ochako. She’s not in my top ten, but I find her to be well written and very sweet. Now, I do feel her motives have always been a combination of wanting to help people to see them smile (which is why she wants to go into the rescue work field) plus wanting to support her family, but the second part seems to be focused on more in the beginning while the first part is touched in the second half of the series. I think both should’ve been touched on more in the beginning, or at least mentioned. I think the reason people see Ochako as some sort of gold digger is cause when asked about being a hero, she mentioned the money part first, and people focused on that rather than her actions as a hero which shows that there’s more than money that motivated her to be a hero. If she really wanted to, she could’ve gone and done literally anything else. A quirk that makes things weightless would be useful in any field involving physical labor. The fact she’s continuously risking her life instead of doing a much safer job speaks volumes about her as a person, but people ignore that.

So I like Himiko a lot, but Hori really dropped the ball with her to be honest. Now, her and Ochako connecting over their feelings a boy can definitely work, but it should’ve been expanded on way further. Family love, the love for friends, all that could’ve been tackled. The idea of love making you want to be abandon your own sense of identity so you can like the person you love (Himiko) vs love serving as motivation for being the best person you can be (Ochako) should’ve also been tackled. Instead, it’s written pretty weakly and like a fetish at times. It’s treated as a D plot when imo it should’ve been written as a C plot (Izuku and OFA’s story is the A plot, Katsuki is the B plot that shouldn’t exist, the Todoroki family is the C plot, and Ochako’s rivalry with Himiko is the D plot). As the C plot, I feel their rivalry could’ve been explored far better than it currently is. If you reduce Katsuki to the D plot and divide the screen time he gets between the Todoroki family plot and the Ochako/Himiko plot, there would be tons more room to explore Ochako’s character and the concept of true love vs toxic love.

#bnha critical #mha critical #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #anti katsuki bakugou #anti bakugou katsuki #anti bakugo katsuki #mha ochako #himiko toga #mha ochaco

[seffien]

any headcannons for your agents?

oh plenty, but let me keep it as short as i can

cap'n 3 (real name junko 'jun' ishikawa):

country kid who was entranced by inkopolis plaza's unusual (to her) look

was originally super cheerful and peppy before Various Incidents

very creative, but none of the adults in her life ever appreciated it

likes to draw (doesn't do it much now) and bought a bass guitar during the events of splat 1 because she loved squid squad that much

became suuuper close with gramps and the squid sisters (as a matter of fact, the 'jun' nickname came from marie) bc her own 'family' was. um.

being sanitized kind of ruined her a bit. her left eye is a slightly lighter shade than her other one to this day, and the sanitization gave her memory loss, an aversion to food, and general odd behavior for a while

looks menacing, is really kind of tired and also shy

gave 4 her old agent outfit (cape included) since she didn't really need it anymore

still cannot believe she's the captain

very different from her younger, happier, more awake self, but she tries not to think about that.

agent 4 (real name naoki 'masu' masuda):

parents wanted her to be a prodigy, and the pressure they put on her made her snap and run away. most pre-inkopolis square memories are deeply repressed

basically no one gave a shit about her when she first moved to inkopolis except for the splat 2 promo kid with the black v-neck tee. they're still kinda sorta friends

liked flow because she felt like she cared (and she actually kinda did)

pushes herself way too hard, somewhat self-conscious

got a few injuries during hero mode and was hesitant to let marie patch em up

straight up did not speak until callie got saved. still doesn't really talk much.

her and marie weren't super besties at first, the only reason they ever clicked was because they were both sad loners with negative self-esteem

'masu' came from eight, and she's kind of fond of the nickname

agent 8 (real name emiko 'miko' yamasaki):

marina found her real name in the octarian records seen in that one chat room session

actually was in a few kettles, was not very good

never wanted to fight, always wanted to write (poetry, specifically)

learned inkling from 4 and eventually 3

kept thinking 4's first name was masuda (it isn't.)

did not like going outside when she first arrived to the surface

wasn't an artist, but tended to draw hypothetical mem cakes of people she deemed important, like 3 and 4

smiles to cover up The Internal Suffering, almost no one ever buys it because a) it looks very fake and b) she never holds it. as soon as a stranger disappears, so does the smile

along with 3, callie, and marie, she consistently reminds 4 that she's stronger than she thinks and that she matters and isn't useless

terrifyingly good in turf and ranked, even won a championship that off the hook basically begged her to enter. she got a trophy and still thought 'cool i guess. no big deal.'

works at ammo knights in splat 3, and since she knows a thing or two about wounds n stuff from her time in the army, she's also the crew's medic

new 3 (real name veronika 'ronnie' yamada):

chill, goes with the flow, probably the happiest out of all the agents (not even that happy, it's a low bar to clear)

everyman when it comes to every mode (tableturf, turf, ranked, what have you)

cheers up people she's played with between matches if they're sad

oblivious to hiro's sort of obvious crush on her

barely redesigns her locker, and when they do, it's usually to add a sticker

used a fake ID to play turf in the splat 1 days, was tall for her age around that time. she still feels kinda guilty about it

waved back to deep cut post-RotM

found shiver chilling in the alternan ocean with master mega a few days after the events of RotM, got to pet him

a character who's just kind of. well. there

adopted kid of an inkling and an octoling, literally lived in a cabin in the woods. she's still in contact with them

resting face looks like smash ultimate young link's

steph and her are both acquaintances and besties. acquaintabesties. steph took care of them while they were sick and they took care of steph after she slosher machined her way into muscle atrophy (not actually, thankfully)

has a walkman and a boombox. doesn't even care what's official, just buys things from in-universe eBay

#i said i was gonna keep it short. #splatoon #splatoon 2 #octo expansion #splatoon 3 #captain 3 #agent 3 #agent 4 #agent 8 #new agent 3 #asksef #sefsagents

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Pt. 9)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else

Read on AO3 here or below cut

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Jungkook could not stop thinking about the air hockey game at the arcade. It brought him joy. Peace. He had never felt more confident in the truth that he loved Alex than he had the moment she ran up to him in front of the arcade. The moment she cried her way into his arms. The joy on her face when he convinced Tyler to let them back in. The way she dragged out the game. 

And all because he’d waited. Even when she hadn’t shown up by the time the place closed, he’d been unable to make himself leave, so he’d just sat there in the cool night for a while, torn between feeling sorry for himself and wondering if she still might show up super late… and then she’d run across the parking lot into his arms!

Ok. He’d wait. No problem. For whatever it was she came around to, maybe just friendship again? Ok. Fine. He’d take whatever she would give him.

“Did you lose weight?” Jimin asked with a frown as he circled.

“No?” Jungkook looked down just as Jimin reached out and tugged at his waistband. He gestured to the tailor who came over and did the same. “I didn’t.”

“You’ve been working out a lot,” Namjoon said.

“No more than I used to.”

“Maybe it’s the stress.”

“I’m not stressed,” Jungkook assured them. “Are you stressed?” he asked Jimin.

“Yeah, I’m stressed as shit, don’t ask me that,” Jimin laughed. He looked at the tailor, who assured him, “He can tighten his belt, the pants don’t need to be taken in.”

“It was a joke,” Jungkook argued. Stressed was an understatement. Every minute of the wedding so far seemed to have been a battle Jimin and In’am fought against their parents. Honestly it was sad to see, not at all what Jungkook wanted for his friend around a thing he was so excited about. Jimin’s family was well off but not enough to pay for the caliber of wedding In’am’s parents wanted for their daughter. It wasn’t what In’am wanted either, so Jimin had suggested they elope, but she didn’t want that either. The last year of arguments between both families and the couple had covered everything from location, venue, food, guest list and size, style of dress, whether to serve alcohol, what sort of flowers, what time the whole thing should take place, and what sword Jimin would use to cut the cake since that wasn’t a Korean tradition and he didn’t just have a sword. Her family had not been amused when he asked if he could use his shinai from when he did Kendo. The arguments boiled down to whether the wedding was Egyptian or Korean until In’am apparently took all four parents to task (“it was really something to see; I feared for their lives and I think they did too”) that it was their wedding and they didn’t want any of their money if there were conditions attached to it.

Who was actually getting what they wanted, Jungkook couldn’t say. Weddings in general seemed like a lot of expensive fuss to him, though he was honored Jimin had asked him to be a groomsman along with Taehyung, his own brother, and one of In’am’s. And also happy just to do what he was told and when.

Jungkook shared a look with Taehyung as Jimin finally decided Jungkook’s pants were fine. When he turned away to worry about something else, Jungkook followed around him and began massaging his shoulders.

“Everything’s going to be fine, man.”

“One month left. People are flying in from Korea and Egypt and I don’t even know where else for this. Yesterday In’am’s father called me because he hasn’t seen a draft of the Moa’khar.”

“Ooh, what’s that?” Taehyung asked.

“Egyptians do these big marriage contracts, and that part is how much money I’d give her in the event of a divorce,” Jimin said. Practically shouted. “We have a prenup but he doesn’t need to see it! In’am had told him no Mahr –that’s the part of the dowry I pay to In’am, or maybe it’s both that and what I'd pay to her family? I get confused… Anyway, she said no Mahr, no Moa’khar and they agreed to that. Our pre-nup is separate, the contract we sign during the ceremony is more… spiritual,” Jimin explained. “Poetic. But then he starts asking me questions again, I think he was trying to trip me up. So In’am calls her mom, and get this, apparently In’s mom and my mom have been talking by themselves, because then Eomma calls me and wants to know if we should book belly dancers as a make-good with In’am’s family.”

With a sigh, he sank down onto the platform the tailor had put him on earlier to check the hem of his pants again.

“Make good for what?” Jungkook asked, looking at himself in the mirror. Had he lost weight? He didn’t think so. He wasn’t trying to and didn’t want to; actually he’d rather bulk up more. Maybe he really wasn’t eating enough, now that he spent less time cooking now that there was only himself to eat it. Before living with Namjoon, he’d never realized how many hours a week the guy worked. No wonder he had money, but when did he plan on spending it?

“For them not getting a lot of the things they wanted with this wedding, I guess,” Jimin shrugged. “Actually In’am’s brothers hired belly dancers for the reception. I told her because I didn’t think she’d appreciate any surprises and she was excited so that’ll be fun. Her bridesmaids got a bunch of scarves to give people to tie around their hips.”

“Belly dancers, huh?” Jungkook grinned.  Taehyung snickered and threw a wadded up sock at him, but Jungkook wasn’t being creepy about random women, he was being creepy thinking about Alex belly dancing. She’d be cute. Sometimes it was hard to predict when she’d let go and when she’d be shy, but either way would be cute. He wondered what she was going to wear and if it would show off her tits. Black tie affair and all that.

“Hey, Alex didn’t change her RSVP, right?” he asked. He didn’t care that it was transparent to his friends at this point; they didn’t even raise eyebrows anymore, which he suspected meant they’d all just started to think he was a little pathetic but were too nice to say anything about it. He wasn’t sure he preferred that to when his friends thought he was stupid and in denial. 

Jimin stood at the tailor's beckon and answered, “Nope, she’s good, I just talked to her yesterday.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, uh… she and Hoseok came over for dinner.”

“Ah. I didn’t realize you did that.”

“We haven’t much but In’am has invited them a few times and Alex always said no, but I guess she felt guilty about it because when they came over the first thing she said was ‘I swear I’m not avoiding you guys!’”

“She kinda was for a while though,” Taehyung insisted. Not only had she missed Jungkook’s birthday party, but also Namjoon’s and Jimin’s, though both were smaller celebrations. People had split up and done their own things, if anything, at Halloween, but she and Hoseok had done something else for that too. 

“Yeah but don’t hold that against her,” Jungkook defended. “I think she just felt bad about…”

“That was business with you though, not with us,” Taehyung argued.

“I know but she used to worry that you guys were only friends with her because of me,” Jungkook ratted her out. 

“What?!”

“That’s insane,” Taehyung gasped. “We like her way more than we like you.”

“Yeah, I know, thanks!” Jungkook laughed. “And you know, she runs away from conflict sometimes. A lot of times. But that’s good she was hanging out with you again. It was good to see her at the arcade so maybe that means things are, you know, calming down.” He shrugged to look indifferent.

Taehyung snickered, “Yah, he’s told us about the arcade how many times now?”

“I’ve seen the picture at least three times.”

“No! I did not. Shut up.”

The tailor left Jimin alone to change, but first Jimin came to Jungkook and put his hand on his shoulder and said more gently, “They’re still together though, you know.”

“No, I know. It’s fine. I’m glad she’s happy. That’s fine, it just sucks that our friend group got all fucked up so it’ll be good if we can go back to the way things were. I mean, in some ways,” Jungkook assured them.

A beat, and then: “It’s weird how differently he talks about things now, huh?” Taehyung asked and Jungkook realized belatedly the question was aimed at Jimin, as if Jungkook wasn’t even there. “I think our baby Jungkookie is growing up.”

“Yeah, I think so too! It’s crazy to see.”

“Hey now. No I didn’t! Don’t call me boring! I’ll embarrass you at the wedding.”

“You better fucking not! Get it all out at the bachelor party.”

“But what about all these beautiful women who will be at the wedding?”

“You’ve met them all,” Jimin insisted.

“Have I though? Not all of them,” Jungkook insisted, wiggling his eyebrows. Jimin and Taehyung laughed. But it all sounded hollow to Jungkook, even his own jokes. It was like they knew he was not likely to pick up any women at the wedding. Maybe he would. Why not? Maybe he should. Especially if Alex was there with Hoseok. Did waiting mean not having sex in case that made her think he had lost interest? Or was it better for him to go back to picking up women because it could distract him, especially if she might not ever decide to give him a chance?

Well, whatever. He’d play it by ear. Maybe that bridesmaid would be down again, she’d been fine. He’d see how bad it hurt to watch Alex all dressed up dancing with Hoseok. Would he get a dance with her again like that night at salsa? No, probably not…

Suit fitting done, they packed up and headed back to Jimin’s car. 

“Let’s go do something,” Jungkook suggested.

“Uh… right now? Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Taehyung and Jimin both looked at him like he was crazy. “Come on, we’re always so busy, let’s go… do…”

“Ooh wanna go to the indoor golf–”

“No,” Jungkook and Jimin said together, and then laughed at Taehyung’s pout.

“Jimin chooses, he’s the one with the wedding in a month,” Jungkook suggested.

“Let’s get some food,” Jimin suggested, which Jungkook was glad to hear, because the wedding diet talk had seemed a little too much to him lately. “And then we can shoot some hoops? You want to?”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll do it for you,” Taehyung conceded, pressing his hand to his chest. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling up for it,” Jimin said to Jungkook as they carefully placed their suits in the trunk. “You stopped hanging out almost as much as Alex did for a while there…”

“I hung out sometimes!”

“Yeah sometimes but not like you used to,” Taehyung pointed out. “We almost thought you had a girlfriend. I didn’t because you play way too many video games with me but–”

“How do you know I just don’t have a really cool girlfriend who likes video games?”

They both laughed at him. 

“Ok fine. No girlfriend. I just took some time to chill. It’s good. You should try it sometime,” he nudged Jimin.

“Yeah, on my honeymoon.”

“Noooo that’s not what a honeymoon is for!” Taehyung cried. “You’re supposed to be fucking!”

“Yeah, we’ll sleep after.”

“You sleep after?! I just go all night,” Taehyung grinned.

Jimin grimaced, “Ooh, you must not be doing it right then. It ought to put you out.”

Their banter made Jungkook smile and he was grateful for the spotlight to leave him again. He knew his friends had worried about him and offered whatever comfort they could in their own ways, and that he’d been mostly numb to it. He hadn’t wanted to admit how badly he was hurting. He was embarrassed he’d told everyone about getting rejected. And mostly he was just really sad. Really sad. A kind of sadness he didn’t really know to deal with. 

But that evening at the arcade had changed something. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt it, so he wasn’t surprised that Jimin and Taehyung were noticing something different in him. He thought they might be misunderstanding and thinking he was “over it” now or something. He wasn’t! But he felt like his and Alex’s souls had connected just during that short time hanging out in a way they hadn’t for a long time. The mixture of regret and grief and longing wasn’t gone, but it was easier to co-exist with suddenly. He needed at least occasional contact with Alex for nourishment, and maybe this meant they could ease back into that now. He’d see her at the wedding. Maybe they could be friends again. That was healing. He had hope for that.

Plus Mama Song had said his dream probably meant –not a dream about Alex, but she’d been at Eomma’s when he went home a few days ago and she’d asked him if had any interesting dreams lately and then said it sounded like he was dreaming about springtime and rebirth of something lost. He liked that. He also found it really weird that their parents didn’t seem to think anything was weird about Alex moving out of the apartment and them not coming over for family dinner at the same time anymore but no one was asking him about it. So he was just going to do what he did best for now and play dumb.

“Where are we going to shoot hoops?”

“Yoongi knows a place, I’ll call him while we eat,” JImin said. “Can we really do this? Just play for an afternoon?”

Taehyung glanced back at Jungkook and agreed, “Yeah, we have to do this, you’re right. Between the divorce and wedding, we’re all boring and worn out.”

“Namjoon’s divorce was years ago,” Jungkook pointed out.

“Your divorce, dumbass.”

“Ohhhhh hey let’s not call it my divorce…” He suspected that would not go over well with Alex. Even if it felt kind of right.

“Do you think being divorced improves or damages your game?”

“Seems to be doing ok for Namjoon.”

“Yeah I can’t believe he asked for a +1 this close to the wedding. In’am told him yes but there was murder in her eyes,” Jimin snickered. “I think we’ll be doing great if we get through this wedding without my wife committing homicide.”

“See? This is why me and Sabina are going to elope.”

“Are you?!” Jimin gasped.

Taehyung gasped too, “No no not yet! Don’t slam on the breaks, you’ll get butt-bumped!”

“Read ended,” Jungkook laughed. “Butt-bumped?”

“We’ve just talked about it and agreed. Not yet though. Promise I won’t propose at your wedding, it’s not my style.”

Jimin’s phone buzzed as he pulled into the parking lot of a lunch place, “Ah, good, we’re on for hoops with Yoongi after this. Good idea, Jungkook. It’s been a stressful few months, it’ll be fun just to do something like that.”

And of that was the set up for Jimin breaking his nose four weeks before his wedding.

Alex could not stop thinking about the air hockey game at the arcade. 

The fight with Hoseok had been unpleasant, but they’d made their apologies and moved past it. That was fine. She felt like she’d shown him something ugly in herself but he didn’t seem to think so, so ok, they were good again. Neither of them wanted to dwell on it so they didn’t. They’d had plenty of sex, snuggles, and pleasant times in the two weeks since then. They’d gone to dinner with Jimin and In’am. They’d done karaoke with Taehyung, Sabina, and Seokjin.  

Hoseok had invited her to go home with him for Thanksgiving and she had agreed! Why not! He’d met her family! That was the sort of thing you did when things were going well with your boyfriend!

She had tried to blame the residual thinkies on Hoseok at first, and fear for her relationship after such a rough day and her own exposed lies but no, that couldn’t be it. Everything there was once again smooth. She wasn’t even that stressed about meeting his family! Maybe it was naivety because everything had gone so well so far, and he was confident that would go well, so why shouldn’t she be?

There was something sad always on her shoulder now, knowing the arcade was closed. She’d tried blaming it on that. She drove past the mall on her way to work from her parents’ house now and so she constantly saw the aged outline of the sign that had been ripped off the exterior. No more arcade, just the ghost of one, and all those memories tucked into a past she’d tried to close herself off from in an attempt to…

To what?

It wasn’t that she couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to think about her time with Jungkook at the arcade because every time she did, something inside her fractured. She didn’t want to remember that his smile had been for her when she’d come running up; he’d waited without even knowing if she was still coming! And that haunted her, that he waited. She didn’t want to remember how cool it was when he got them one last game. She didn’t want to remember their last game, and the lazy click of the puck as neither of them tried to end the game. Of course it felt like they were the only two people in the world. The arcade was closed! They were the only ones!

“My parents don’t mind for us to stay in the same room,” Hoseok was telling her. “So we’ll just stay at their house and save on the hotel since the flights were expensive. Sorry about that… I don’t usually go home for Thanksgiving so I didn’t think about it.”

“It’s fine,” she assured him. “I’m not paying rent right now so I’m just rolling in dough.” He grinned and continued on about what they’d do while they were there. His parents had only gotten into American Thanksgiving in a big way in the last few years as they got more involved in a local church, and the collection of food wouldn’t be only American Thanksgiving dishes, and Hoseok had actually only been once, but he said it was a nice time with his family, who were fun and festive people. They were big on Black Friday shopping so they joked it was a nourishment ceremony before the next day and an excuse to get the family together. Hoseok’s mom was the sort of woman who said “We are very fortunate; we should celebrate every day of thanks in any culture.” 

They sounded wonderful. Alex recognized how grown up it was that she’d be getting on a plane and flying home with her boyfriend to meet his family. And while she knew she ought to be nervous, she honestly wasn’t. Hoseok’s family sounded great. Probably she’d get along with them just fine since Hoseok thought so. Or maybe she was nervous and that’s why she felt so weird lately and she just didn’t understand her own feelings! It wouldn’t be the first time that was true!

“I’m really excited,” he beamed, the truth of it shining through his smile. Alex returned his smile and hoped he didn’t notice the slight hollowness to it. He didn’t seem to. He pulled to a stop in front of her parent’s house and leaned in to kiss her; she pressed her fingers to his cheek to keep him from lingering in case her parents or neighbors were watching. 

“Me too,” she belatedly assured him, then poked his dimples. He was cute. He was so fucking cute and nice and handsome and sweet and thoughtful.

She slammed the door a little too hard and waved as he pulled away, then took her time stomping across the yard. Baba was slow on the leaves this year and her brother wasn’t here to help. Mama had said they should just hire someone this year but Baba was being stubborn.

She needed to pack.

She sat in the middle of her bed, clothes spilled around her all over the room. She always hated packing for things, even things she looked forward to. And she was looking forward to this! She was! Meeting Hoseok’s family was the next step in her perfect relationship with an amazing guy, it was romantic, it was so fucking great!

Baba walked past her room with his sweatpants and sweatshirt on and Alex leapt up.

“Baba! Are you going for a walk? Wait for me, I’ll come too!”

“Oh, Alex, yes, ok.” He looked surprised but also like it was faked; she suspected he had hoped she would join but didn’t want to ask. Two peas in a pod, they’d been called. Copy paste. She wasn’t sure that was always flattering, but could admit to herself it was true. She minded less as she got older. She didn’t care about waiting to be asked right now though, she was psyched for a reason to delay packing, and grabbed her coat and met him at the front door.

“The leaves are out of control, Baba,” she complained as they hiked through them to get to the sidewalk.

“Yes… your brother isn’t here to help me this year, you know. Maybe I will ask Jungkook and Jin-hyun to help an old man. Should I?”

“Why don’t you just hire someone?” Alex countered. “They’ll come through with their leaf blowers and big tarps and have the whole yard spotless in like an hour.” She shoved her hands into her pockets as a nippy wind blew right through the curtain of her hair, no protection at all. At least she had a hat but she should have bought a scarf. Baba was tougher against the cold than she was, clearly, but looked cute and serious about his walk with his matching sweatsuit and the Packers hat with a bright pompom on the top. 

But Baba made a face, “No, I don’t want every leaf gone. Where will the bees and butterflies sleep in the winter? They need some of the leaves, I read it.”

“Uh huh.”

“And to have a yard… it’s my yard, it’s my job. It is a blessing to have a yard you can break your back working in.”

“Don’t break your back, Baba! It’s a blessing to have money to pay someone else to do it.”

“I won’t break my back, I’m not that old,” he teased. “I was being dramatic. I learned it from my daughters.”

“Sexist.”

Baba chuckled and continued, “Before this house you know we lived in a little apartment. My whole life I lived in little apartments. When we bought this house I felt like a millionaire to have so much space! I watched you three grow up in this yard with your soccer balls and your,” he gestured his hands turning over, “somersaults and your snowsuits. I take care of the yard with my own hands and say thank you to the house for all it gives us.”

“Yeah but isn’t hiring yard guys like sending the house to a fancy spa?” Alex countered which made him laugh again. Baba’s laughter was healing, always. To make him laugh again, she asked, “Why do you like the Packers, Baba? We don’t live in Green Bay. I don’t even know where Green Bay is.”

“Michigan. Didn’t I send you to school?”

“Yeah but I didn’t pay attention,” she joked.

“You paid attention. Only one of my children paid attention in school,” he chuckled. “But it’s ok.”

“Is it? Even though none of your children are lawyers or doctors or even married with children?”

Baba’s face went a little slack as he asked, “Did I teach you that’s what I want? I want my children to be happy. If being a lawyer with a lot of money is happy, that’s one way. If that’s making the best drinks at the Starbucks and dating a nice man, that’s good too. If that’s riding around on a bike with the ladies in Italy– yes, I know what your brother is doing there! I am old, I’m not a fool!” 

“He is very happy though,” Alex snickered.

“The world is very different to me. I think it is easy as a parent– you want the best things for your children. You think the best thing for them is the same best thing for you,” Baba said and Alex kept quiet because this felt far more profound and meaningful than what she had expected on a walk. Usually they just roasted the neighbors’ ugly ass dogs and heckled any cats peeking out of windows and fantasized about what they wanted Mama to cook for dinner.

“Very long ago I realized I can want one thing for them or I can let my children tell me what they want. Maybe I worry that they are choosing something that isn’t what is the best thing for them, but is my choice better? Maybe it is better here, you have more money, you have insurance and you can buy a house, but is it better over there? Are you happy? Maybe my children will resent me in old age because we did not push more this way or that. It’s nice to do this though. My parents did not act like this for me. I know they loved me but I did not go on walks with them because I wanted to.” He smiled at her, and his roundabout way of saying how much he enjoyed their walks together made her tear up a little.

“I think you did everything really good,” Alex insisted. “And I really appreciate that you let me move back home. I know it’s a burden to be feeding me and–”

“My children are never a burden,” Baba corrected. “So say the same thing when I am old and feeble.” Alex laughed and nodded. “We worked very hard all the time to make a home our children can return to. You know in China, sometimes you live together as a family forever. I think that’s nice! Hoseok can move in too!”

“Um… probably not,” she giggled.

“Ok… maybe someday,” he winked. “I think we are happy.”

“Yeah.”

“Also none of my children had the grades for medical school.”

“Baba!”

“Can you see anyone doing the bar test for law? Not me! Do not try to climb a mountain that is not for you to climb, that’s the secret to happy,” Baba laughed, loud and proud of his teasing. 

“But what if it’s not always obvious what the right mountain to climb is,” Alex demanded. “Then what?”

“Ah.”

“You’re an old man, it’s easy for you to look back at all the mountains you climbed and say which ones were right and which you should have skipped, but I’m young and stupid, Baba. if you know the mountains to climb to be happy, I’m ready for you to tell me now.”

“You are not happy?” He didn’t look at her when he said it, so it didn’t feel like a real question. It felt like one he already knew the answer to.

“I am.”

“Ok then.”

“And I’m also not.”

He nodded and looked over when a neighbor’s dog barked but didn’t interrupt to point out they’d given the dog a very stupid haircut. Alex would have appreciated the distraction because honestly she wasn’t sure what to say about her personal unsettled state. She couldn’t even speak honestly with herself about anything right now, she thought that was a core problem. And as much as she loved her parents, she didn’t usually go to them with personal problems of this sort. Not that she’d had many boy problems in the past. But that wasn’t the sort of thing you talked to your Dad about! 

“I should be happy,” she said, vaguely. “Literally everything is going so well for me right now. I’m saving up money living at home. I have a great boyfriend and I'm going to meet his family in a couple of days. I love my job and I just got a small raise.”

“You did! Alex, I am so proud of you, they don’t pay you enough, you are the best worker they have,” he gloated, clapping her on the shoulder.

“Ok I mean it was like another quarter an hour, but thanks, Baba.”

“And you do not feel happy? That’s ok. Maybe it is hard to go home when you live free and partied for years.”

Alex’s mouth twitched as she debated what to say, then decided, “It’s definitely different. Not that I was partying all the time! But it’s kind of weird figuring out how to act because I’m under your roof but I’m also a grown up… but it’s not even really that. I mean I do miss living with Jungkook. A lot. We had a lot of fun living together but…”

“Sometimes things change,” Baba offered when she trailed off. 

“Yeah. Things changed. I met this amazing guy and Hoseok is just great and dating him is easy and wonderful. I feel like I’m moving forward in life. But sometimes things don’t change, or people don’t change– or how do you know they’ve changed just because they say so? Do you trust your experience or what they’re saying?”

Baba raised his eyebrows like this was a question above his pay grade. She realized she was being too vague to probably get any useful advice, if Baba even had any to give. Mama had been his first and only love as far as Alex knew. They’re married young and while she didn’t have any delusion that life had always been easy for them, they were still happy and together after all this time, close, romantic, supportive. Best friends. So clearly they had chosen the right mountain to climb. Or the right person to climb the mountain with. Or whatever.

She sighed and decided not to say anything more. It would just be weird and confusing even if she could figure out how to articulate it. But how could she explain the feelings to Baba when she didn’t even understand them herself?

No. Worse than that. 

She did understand them.

She just didn’t want to. 

She didn’t want to look at how fucked up it was that she’d been ready to tear her boyfriend to shreds because she had wanted to spend time with her ex-best friend so badly. That in fact she’d lied about it.

She didn’t want to look at the red flag planted in how fast her heart had raced when she’d seen Jungkook stand up from that curb, still waiting for her. And how instantly she’d been soothed by his arms around her. And how blissfully content she had been idly knocking a puck back and forth with him in an empty arcade. She didn’t want to think about how she always hoped she and Baba would run into him visiting his parents and what it meant to want his attention so badly –not just as a victory that finally he realized she was a women just like all the other ones he fucked, but because she, pathetically, wanted his attention just as much as they did. The same kind of attention and more. Because she wanted all the other things with him too: the closeness, the grossness, the teasing and bickering and competing, the comfort. Life with him had been so close to perfect except for that whole part where he had no romantic or sexual interest in her. She wanted romantic and sexual interest– no, she needed that! She deserved that! And Hoseok gave her that! How could she truly tell if Jungkook suddenly said he did have those feelings? It wasn't like he’d been secretly thinking dirty thoughts about her all these years they’d been friends, she would have known!  

She didn’t want to admit how badly she wished it was true. All of Jungkook? She could have all of him? She could be everything for him? He wanted that? It was hard to imagine and yet she had worked hard not to imagine it many times before. At times it had been a real struggle to enforce that friendship boundary and not read too much into every little interaction but over time she’d gotten so good at rejecting that longing that it finally shut up. All the women he fucked had made it easier in some ways. It was easier to box up the longing when constantly reminded that it was a dead end. You were never an option.

And now what? Jungkook was many things, but he’d never been a liar, not to her. She’d always known when he was lying. It didn’t feel to her like he had been lying. Even if he was dating Anita now, which she had been too chicken shit to ask for confirmation from him or any of their friends, even if that was true, it didn’t mean he was lying. People dated someone even when someone else had their heart all the time. 

It could happen to anyone.

But it couldn’t be true. 

But he had risked and lost everything, he wouldn’t have done that if he meant it. Unless he really didn’t care about her at all! 

But Jungokok moved quickly from loss to victory; he wouldn’t linger at the site of a failure for no reason. 

But he had dragged that air hockey game out too. He was lingering. Wasn’t he? She had tried not to linger. She never wanted to linger in her life over a guy who didn’t linger back; she’d made that rule for herself very young while watching her friends lose their fucking heads over idiot boys. She wouldn’t be one of them! And Jungkook was such an idiot boy!

God, he was so stupid. His timing was so bad. If he had said these things to her six months ago, then what? Would she have believed him then…?

But it hadn’t been true! 

It was too much to look at. She couldn’t. Looking at that was like looking at the sun; she was perpetually drawn to it and yet it burned her eyes so she should not. 

What if when she had asked him to go to the wedding with her, he had said yes? 

But he hadn’t! He had said an emphatic no! He had launched her into someone else’s arms and then suddenly regretted it? It was possible but fucked up! So stupid! And then what, he expected her to just drop her happiness because he changed his band? He’d said go find someone else and then no wait not like that! 

Ok that really did seem like something stupid Jungkook would do…

The timing didn’t matter. Maybe the timing was the gift of all this, that she had not had to make this decision before she understood that someone else wonderful was out there who could recognize her and love her much faster, who didn’t make her work for his attention, who presented a clear and stable and happy future. Hoseok was a man! Jungkook was a child! They had been children together and now she wanted to grow up and–

But maybe he wanted to grow up with her too? Maybe he would? He was changing too. She’d felt that at the arcade. She’d felt that at the phone store. Honestly, she felt it in the way he hadn’t been texting her, harassing her to come back, drunk-dialing her, going out of his way to make sure she knew he was still getting mad pussy. When she moved out, he’d given her that shockingly mature speech, and dinner, and left her alone. He had changed.

But was it permanent? Was it enough? Was it what was best for her? 

“You are very quiet,” Baba mused. “Are you tired already?”

“It’s just that there’s a cozy and familiar mountain that I care about a lot but I understood a long time ago it didn’t have a path for me,” Alex said. “And maybe that mountain doesn’t go anywhere anyway. It may not even be a very tall mountain, I don’t know! And this other mountain is perfect, it’s paradise, the path is easy and wonderful. But now maybe that other mountain does have a path… but I don’t know what that path is like and I’m already on a really nice easy happy path…”

Baba didn’t say anything. Probably this didn’t even make sense to him. Metaphors weren’t her strong point and this was an awkward thing to talk to your dad about.

“But I can’t stop looking back at the other mountain,” she murmured. “And wondering where that path goes… But it would be so stupid to leave this perfect, beautiful, wonderful adult mountain for a mountain that didn’t even think of letting me climb until I was on another mountain.”

She interrupted herself with a sigh and decided to stop rambling about this to her dad who likely did not want to think about his daughters having boy problems to begin with, much less climbing boy mountains.

Shortly after her father gave a similar sigh, “Ah, I want the easy life for my children. Didn’t you listen to my nice speech? I was a good father saying all those things! I told you easy is not necessarily happy. You can choose which you want. Only you choose the right mountain for you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks looking at the mountains. You think your mama is Mount Tai? No. But to me she is the only mountain worth the climb.”

“So you do know I’m talking about boys.”

“I know you are talking about the boys.”

“I had hoped my metaphor was confusing enough.”

“Yes it’s confusing but I know your mind sometimes,” he teased.

“So then tell me what to do.”

“Hm…. no.” He grinned.

“Babaaaa.”

“Ask Mama, she will tell you what to do.”

“I don’t really want someone to tell me what to do,” she admitted. “I just want to see into the future. I want to know for sure how it all turns out.”

“Yes, it’s easy to take the risk if you already know everything!” he laughed.

“There’s risk no matter what I do,” she complained. “No matter what I do, I lose something.”

Baba nodded, “Yes that is true. You lose this, you gain that.”

“But how do I decide which risk is worth it? I could risk everything and wind up with nothing,” she pointed out. There wasn’t actually any guarantee she and Hoseok would last a lifetime. Just like there was no certainty that Jungkook really meant what he thought he meant. 

“You will always have something,” he corrected gently. “You have me and Mama. You have your brother and sister. You have a home you can come to. If no mountains you see right now are right, you can walk with me until you see a mountain that is. Maybe you don’t even like mountains.”

“Baba! Do you mean I’m gay?!”

“No no! I mean maybe you want to die alone!”

“Baba!”

“In a happy way!”

“BABA!”

She was laughing too hard the more flustered he got trying to explain himself. It was hysterical. Finally he calmed down enough to clarify,

“You don’t need a boy, Alex. Boys are too much trouble. Even your brother is trouble. It’s ok to live at home forever, I don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Baba. But I hope I don’t die alone. I want what you and Mama have.”

“Really? You think we are cool?”

“Not at all,” she teased. “But you’re happy and in love even though you’ve been together for a hundred years.”

“Yes,” he grinned. His face always lit up when he talked about her mom. The words didn’t even matter, they were always infused with so much love. She wanted that. A lifetime of that. One of these trouble boys had treated her that same way since the moment they met. The answer was so obvious!

Hoseok!

And yet.

Would it just take time for that ‘and yet’ to settle down and for her to accept the mountain was behind her and the path likely unstable and possibly not very long and also probably full of stinging nettles and bears and vultures and–

Ok she might have lost the metaphor now.

Suddenly Baba laughed and pointed, “Look at those ugly twins, all they do is yap. Why do you get those dogs?”

“Baba, you’re so mean,” she laughed. “You should get a dog!”

“Not like that one!”

“Ok what kind of dog do you want. Let’s talk about that now. Dogs are better than mountains.”

“Dogs are better than mountains,” Baba agreed. “I want a big dog. Big. He can sit in the window and scare people away. Mama will say no…” 

It was pure coincidence he saw them leaving. He had agreed to help Appa with the leaves in their yard since another layer had fallen on top of the ones he’d already mulched. Jin-hyun had declined to help since Claudia was now a week overdue. The baby was getting evicted on Friday “whether he likes it or not” apparently. Because of that, they’d all decided not to drive to visit his grandparents and the rest of his family this year and would just crash the celebration the Songs hosted. Alex’s parents invited basically anyone who looked unattached to a big pot luck and it was lots of fun. The couple of years his family joined instead of traveling, he’d thought it was more fun than his own family’s celebration; they didn’t really “celebrate” so much as take advantage of the time off from work to get together and hang out, which was fine but not quite as cinematic.

As he raked leaves into a pile to bag, Hoseok’s nice blue car drove past with Alex in the passenger’s seat. He waved but they must not have seen him and they continued on. 

When he and Appa finally went inside to take a break, Eomma had cool water waiting for him in the kitchen and a tray of snacks. Appa took his and went to sit in the living room but Jungkook lingered in the kitchen to see if his mom would volunteer any gossip.

She never disappointed.

“How is the yardwork going?”

“It’s good. We’re almost done I think.”

“Good, when you’re done with that you should go see if Mr. Song wants any help. He still needs to do his yard before the party Thursday.”

“What, Alex isn’t helping him?” he joked.

“No she can’t I guess. She’s flying away today.”

“Wha? Flying?”

“Yes, Hoseok is taking her home with him. His family is in… hm…”

“San Francisco.”

“Yes, San Francisco.”

He sipped his water and tried to look like he didn’t care.

So Hoseok was taking her home? She’d bought a plane ticket to go. Things must be going well for them then. He wondered if Hoseok had paid for her ticket. She must be excited to do that; she’d always wanted to go to San Francisco. 

“Yes? Do you feel fine about that?” Eomma asked. “You forgot to stop drinking. Don’t choke on the ice!”

  Jungkook gave a noisy satisfied sound like he’d just been really thirsty and set the glass down, “Yes, thanks Eomma. That’s some good water.”

“Gukka?”

“Eomma?”

“Everything is all right?”

“Yes, why? What do you mean?”

Eomma shrugged and went back to shaving the potatoes. He thought she was making kimchi pancakes for dinner and felt happy about that. Those were all the feelings he needed.

So she hadn’t felt any particular way then about the arcade. He’d imagined that connection. Or it was just friendly to her. Or it was really nothing. 

“I may just stay home with Namjoon on Thursday, so don’t say I’m going to the dinner,” he decided.

“You don’t go just because Alex won’t be there?”

“Why does that matter? She has a boyfriend.”

Eomma’s eyebrows raised, “Oh you only want to see her when she doesn’t have a boyfriend? Are you still jealous to share her attention?” The casual teasing was a little too pointed for his comfort.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“What happened then? She moved home, her parents say they don’t know why. I don’t know why. You and Alex aren’t saying anything so I guess it’s something serious.”

Jungkook frowned, “No, don’t ask questions about it.”

“Then why did she move home?”

“Our lease was up.”

“Gukka,” she scowled, then lifted her hand and pressed it to his cheek, holding him in place while she looked at him. He hated the scrutiny of her stare but could never leave when she did that. “Ah. I see.”

“What do you see?” he glared and crossed his arms and leaned against the counter after stealing a carrot. He didn’t actually want the carrot but he wanted something in his hand, something between his teeth.

“You realized you love her too late.”

“Damn.”

“Ha, yes?”

He sighed and nodded and chewed the carrot with all the strength of his jaw.

“A mother always knows these things,” she said. 

“You could have told me.”

“I tried! But you never want to listen to your eomma, either one of you! You have a big heart and a big brain, Gukka, but they never work together. I’m glad to hear this though. It’s good; she’s a good girl. She’s good for you. If I was going to choose your wife, I would choose her.”

“Really?” Jungkook asked around the masticated carrot. It was all he could choke out, and choke he did, because the reference to marriage was something he hadn’t been prepared for.

“Yes! Smart, funny, beautiful, she takes care of you, she makes you slow down, sometimes you even listen to her! She’s stubborn though, that is her flaw.”

“Yeah, she is that,” Jungkook chuckled. 

“Both of you! So headstrong, so sure you’re right. You can take the punches with each other but I always wondered, which of them will say something first? Too much pride, ego…”

“Say something about…”

“Love. But then years went by and you were both too comfortable. Nobody was going to say it. Something had to change or you two would be like that forever and maybe that’s ok but maybe it wasn’t enough.”

“It was enough for me,” he insisted. “I would have been happy–”

“It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for her and it wasn’t enough for you. All the women you chase, Gukka…”

“Eomma! What do you know about that,” he scowled.

“Yes, a mother knows! My son is popular, that’s good but it’s not enough.”

“It had to be enough. She’s not interested in more than that with me, so, fine. That’s all. That’s why she moved out, because I told her how I felt and let her choose and she chose the other guy.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head. He would have felt less defeated by this conversation a day ago, but the knowledge she was off to see Hoseok’s family dragged him down. He felt what little hope had flickered to life now snuffed out. 

“You know what I think?” she asked.

He didn’t want to hear it actually but wouldn’t be rude and pressed, “What?”

“I think you are impatient. You took so long to figure it out? Now you have to be patient. You love a stubborn woman and she has to realize you are the best man she could have.”

“If that’s true,” he mumbled.

“It is true.” Eomma set everything down and he knew he was in for it. “You are smart, you are funny, you are kind. You make everyone smile, all the way back when you were a little boy. You are good at everything you try, it was very hard on your brother! You work hard, you try to help everyone. You are such a good son, you come here and help your father with the leaves. You are strong and handsome and you have good hair and good skin now, you will age well like your father.”

“Thanks, Eomma,” he said, trying to let the compliments brush off him because they embarrassed him. She was his mom, of course she saw the best in him. But he was selfish too, short-sighted, overly competitive, blunt when he should be soft, soft when he should be strong. He took jokes too far and struggled to be serious about things he didn’t care about, especially if caring about it inconvenienced him. He worked hard but then he was lazy. He was thoughtful until he forgot stuff. She was right that he was stubborn and impatient. He was good at lots of things but not great at anything and he wasn’t sure that working at a phone store was that impressive although he made ok money and was a good employee. He was dedicated to his hobbies, though good luck finding a girl impressed with his gaming skills. Although Alex was. 

“You are a good man,” Eomma said, taking hold of his arms. “I raised the best men with the best hearts and the best minds. Alex knows you are the best but it’s hard for a girl when the boy they like doesn’t notice them. You have to give her time to decide if she can forgive you.”

“I won’t hold my breath. Hoseok is everything she wants so I think she’s good now,” he shrugged her off, then decided to hug her instead, “But thanks, Eomma.”

“Hoseok is a nice boy but he is not you so, we will see. I know what I think will happen but ok, you don’t want to listen to me. Tell Appa dinner will be ready at six. He already knows, but tell him anyway. Sometimes you have to be like that with people.”

Jungkook took the hint but knew also that it was too late. He was fucking bummed now. Even his own mom knew he was an idiot, and while her blind devotion was sweet, it didn’t change the painful words he’d just said out loud: Hoseok was everything Alex wanted and he didn’t need to be forgiven for anything. Apparently she was happier with the changes she’d made for him, and good for her. He was glad she was happy. He would have been gladder if it was with him. But it wasn’t.

Ok. Time to let her go now? Wait a little longer? How long? Rebound? Fuck around? Find out? Maybe he ought to shock everyone and actually give dating a try. He didn’t believe for a second there was another Alex out there, she was one in seven billion, but there must be a second banana somewhere, right? Was he ready for that? He wasn’t so sure. He thought Alex was the only woman worth the effort of a relationship, but maybe he should try. Maybe he’d just aimed too high with Alex. Maybe this heartbreak was the thing that changed him into a better person.

Was he doing an ok job seeming like he was ok? Was he hiding that the loss of Alex ripped him apart right down to the core? He felt like he’d overslept and missed the flight that would take him to a happy life and now he was stuck with this one. And without Alex, it was lonely, sad, and lacking in purpose. He felt like he was slowly bleeding to death. 

And people did this over and over? Lots of relationships? Insane. People were insane. Or maybe people just didn’t connect as deeply as he had with Alex. They’d fused together. She’d taken half his blood, half his oxygen, half his heart, and more than her half of the braincell they shared. Unfair!

Jokes. Jokes were all he had right now. Jungkook was the biggest joke of all.

He went to finish the leaves and then go see if Baba Song needed help with his before he went home to listen to sad songs and have a little cry.

“... please close tray tables and return your seats to their upright position…”

Alex pushed the button but had to tug the back of her seat to get it upright. Her actions were too sharp; she must have seemed frustrated because Hoseok laughed and helped her while shoving the magazine he’d been reading back in the seat pocket. He was the kind of guy who did that –not perusing through Sky Mall, which was the kinda guy Alex was, but buying magazines in the airport he could perch in his seat and flip through, commenting on skincare products and bag adverts and showing her salacious write-in advice columnists.

Alex felt sick. She’d felt sick the whole flight. Hoseok had asked if she got air sick and delicately passed a barf bag to her, but it wasn’t that. She’d wrestled to get the air vent to nail her in the head with a stream of arctic air but then it kept rustling her hair which made her want to scream so she had to move it off and just sweat.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong this was wrong.

Hoseok grinned and learned around her to see out the window as the plane began its descent and pressed his hand over hers on the arm rest between them. It felt like a metal claw to her, trapping her there. Handcuffing her in place. The flimsy plane seatbelt felt like an iron chain. She closed her eyes as the adjustment in altitude made her head spin, and wished that was all that was making her stomach twist in knots. She wished she got air sick.

They were near the back of the plane because they’d bought their tickets late. The wait to deplane was excruciating. Alex couldn’t even fidget looking at her phone. Her palms were so sweaty and when Hoseok took her hand, she flinched. He must feel the clamminess but he didn’t pull away because of course he didn’t. He was such a fucking great guy. He’d hold your hand even when you were sick and sweaty.

Alas, he was the sort of guy who called his parents to loudly let them know they’d landed even though they were still on the plane, but sure, he had to have some flaws. She wasn’t sure which annoyed her more, that he’d made the call, or that he sounded so cheerful and excited. Of course he was! He hadn’t been home for Thanksgiving in years, he’d told her. It hadn’t seemed worth the cost of the flight when he could go home for Christmastime instead, so usually he just worked. He had intended to do that too. But then, despite her laughable earlier fears that he might put his career above all, he had placed her first and decided to take the time off so he could take her home and introduce her to his family. A girl’s dream come true!

Finally the aisle cleared enough and they could get their things out of the overhead compartment. She pulled her bag too hard and it landed on her face, which seemed exactly right.

“Wait, let me help,” Hoseok laughed. “There’s no rush, we’re at the end! Let me help you, baby.”

Alex’s toes curled in her sneakers. 

He followed behind her up the aisle and off the plane. She awkwardly thanked the pilot while Hoseok had a more cheerful greeting, like he and the pilot and attendants were old friends and it had been so good to see them again. The skybridge was deliciously cold and Alex lifted her hair off her neck and decided to bun it up after all. She had wanted to leave it down and look more dignified while meeting Hoseok’s parents, who would be picking them up from baggage claim, but…

“Hey I need to use the toilet,” she said, stumbling over the words in a way that probably made her sound like she was having a medical episode. She didn’t even wait for Hoseok’s confirmation, just made a beeline for the nearest restroom and locked herself in a stall so she could breathe. She did in fact need to piss because she’d chugged ginger ale on the plane and refused to use the plane toilet and it really felt like her bladder was going to erupt. But it had served as a distraction so she had appreciated the pain. Couldn’t meet his parents if she pissed herself, right?

A distraction from…

Alex closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to ground herself in this pleasant, peaceful location of the airport restroom. Banging seats, swinging doors, the loudest flushes known to man kind, jetway engine hand dryers, kids yelling for their moms, it wrapped around her and made her want to scream.

And yet nothing could drown out what was actually going on in her head:

Alex was very far up the wrong mountain.

Alex was going to meet the family of a man whom she adored, but who was not and would never be first in her heart because her heart was stupid.

Alex did not want to be here. It was wrong that she was here. Because Hoseok deserved to be someone’s everything and she wanted so badly for him to be her everything because he was wonderful! Just perfect enough to be actually perfect!

And yet when they had driven past Jungkook’s parent’s house and he waved at them from where he was raking leaves in the yards, Alex just felt that squidgy feeling down deep that told her she was going the wrong direction. That feeling had not quieted down as they’d checked in, or boarded their flight, or settled down in their seats. What should have been stressful and exciting in a good way was dreadful because Alex knew what was wrong, and denying it only made it louder and more certain in her mind.

Alex was stupidly, annoyingly, undeniably in love with her asshole ex-best friend.

FUCK. 

The timing was terrible.

She could not stay in a relationship with Hoseok. It wasn’t fair to him, it wasn’t fair to her, it was making her someone she didn’t want to be. Not when her feelings for Jungkook were driving her to lie. Not when moving out and moving on didn’t remove Jungkook even a little bit from her thoughts. Not when seeing him gave her that rush that seeing Hoseok should have but no longer did. Not when the thought of seeing Jungkook flooded her with warmth and joy and comfort. And terror. And relief. It wasn’t even just about Hoseok deserving to be with someone better than she could be for him, it was about what she wanted too.

What she wanted was Jungkook.

Objectively the worse choice! Which made her want to laugh and slam her head against the bathroom stall wall. He was dumb and messy and selfish and gross and lazy and hardworking and funny and warm and sincere and reliable when it mattered and he was hers. He was supposed to be! And if he had finally realized that and she didn’t give it at least a try… even if it cost her Hoseok… she’d never forgive herself. She’d always wonder if she could have truly had what she wanted. And if it all went to shit, at least she would know she tried.  

She couldn’t stay with Hoseok.

How long had she known this? She didn’t even know! At any point in the last few weeks she should have stopped this. Why hadn’t she? Because she wanted ot want this more, Hoseok was so kind and wonderful and good and loving him was easy but it wasn’t the thing she wanted most.

She never should have gotten on that plane. 

But she had and she was here and the panic of being on a ride she couldn’t get off of was making her queasy. She’d gone too far the wrong direction. This was wrong! She was drowning! And it was going to keep getting worse if she didn’t do something. Things were going to be really bad for a while but then there might be Jungkook. Or she could keep doing this and there would never be Jungkook again, and that sounded so much worse.

That thought gave her some comfort. Some strength. It might feel terrible and shitty and too late but maybe, maybe he would be there waiting for her again.

She walked out of the stall because things had quieted down and looked at herself in the mirror. The way she saw it she had several choices. And they all sucked balls. And they were all going to be terrible. There was no good path here.

Option One. She could push through Thanksgiving with Hobi’s family and pretend to be happy and in love and charm his family but secretly feel like a monster and then break up with him in the near future.

Option Two. She could lie and say there was a family emergency she needed to turn around immediately and go home for. She did not think Hoseok would believe this and also she’d probably go to hell forever for lying to a great guy again.

Option Three. She could break up with Hoseok right now and send him heartbroken to meet his parents alone while she went to book a flight back home.

“Oh god,” she murmured and leaned heavily against the sink, feeling like she was going to be sick. There was no way out of it though. His parents were waiting in baggage claim! She literally had to decide this moment –no, not decide, because the decision was already made. There was peace in that decision. Somewhere deep beneath all the bullshit she was about to nosedive into.

The timing was so bad. It was so bad! And she’d done this to herself by dragging her feet and not wanting to look at the truth. Even if things with Jungkook crashed in flames, even if he’d changed his mind, she wasn’t willing to lie to Hoseok anymore. She wasn’t ready to settle for second in her heart yet. She understood people could do that! Make do and push through and never regret it. Who could regret a life with Hoseok?

But this didn’t feel right to her. This wasn’t what Alex wanted. 

She splashed water on her face and wrists to cool down, then drew a deep breath and walked out.

Hoseok had grown bored waiting for her and sat in an empty row of chairs at the nearest gate. He was on his phone but hung up when he saw her and jumped up.

“Great! My mom and dad are here now, they’re at the baggage carousel–”

“Hobi, we need to talk.”

“Hm? Ah,” he grinned and tried to wrap his arm around her shoulder, “Are you nervous? Don’t be, they’re going to–”

“We need to talk right now, please?”

“Uh… right now?”

She bit her lips and settled down in the chair, needing their height to be more equal. He slowly sat as well, looking confused as shit, which was awful.

“Hobi.” Shit. Shit shit shit she did not know what to say. “Um…” She wished Hoseok would just figure out what she was hinting at. He did not. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I realize this is crazy, and terrible timing, and I’m really sorry. But I can’t meet your family. I want to break up.”

“Wha?” The word didn’t even totally register. His eyes got really big, mouth opening into a circle. That made her feel so much worse, that he wasn’t just like oh I kind of saw this coming. She could see it there on his face: he had truly believed her every time she had insisted she was all in on this. She had meant it! Until she didn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Don’t cry don’t cry this isn’t your turn to cry. “I was so stupid to get on the plane but I just didn’t know how to stop. I didn’t want to hurt you and I love you, I really do.”

“Then… what… but– Alex, are you just scared? This was too soon to meet my family? It’s ok! They’ll love you–”

“No, Hobi, it’s not that. I’m sure your family is wonderful and I am so stupid that I– I’m so sorry. I really thought– it has nothing to do with you. You are wonderful, you are the perfect boyfriend and you have been amazing every minute of our relationship.” Oh my god what am I doing?! She wanted to scream at herself. How? How could she break up with this angel man whose attention she had yearned for?

“I don’t understand then. Why now? Right now? I thought everything was good–”

“It was but… and I’ve been crazy about you, please don’t think that was ever fake or insincere. But…”

He took several short breaths, nostrils flaring, and Alex knew if he started to cry she’d be done for. A boarding call started nearby and that nearly tipped her over the edge. She’d completely forgotten they were in public. Everything in the world had faded away to the man she was dumping in a fucking airport because his family was waiting outside to meet her.

“But… but Jungkook?” he guessed slowly, with a sniffle and a nod. She almost didn’t even hear it beneath the boarding noise.

And she couldn’t even fucking deny it. She expected him to start cursing her. She expected to have to listen to him trash them both, and call her a liar, and all sorts of things. She wouldn’t stop him. She deserved it. Maybe it would be nice to hear him say those things right now. 

“I wasn’t cheating on you or anything,” she said. “When I said I was all in with you, I meant it. When I chose you, I meant it. I mean, you’re amazing. You’re incredible.”

“Ok…”

She didn’t know whether to keep talking or to stop. She wanted him to tell her it was ok and that he understood. She wanted him to say she had made the right decision. Or she wanted him to say something really shitty and terrible so she could hate him. 

He just looked so sad and she felt the desperate urge to comfort him. She needed to! Her boyfriend was sad! She wanted to take his face and kiss that frown away, kiss that wrinkle between his brows. Take back whatever she did to make him sad. She was mean, she was so mean to break up with him! And right now! With his parents waiting outside to meet his terrible girlfriend!

“I’m so sorry, Hobi. I’m so sorry I’m hurting you.”

“You have to do this right now? How long– how long ago did you decide this?” he asked. “You came with me and now suddenly–”

“I wanted so badly to stay with you and I just have been lying to myself that I could forget him. I really wanted to– you’re so amazing.”

“So you came here knowing–”

“No, no, I really wanted to do this with you and be your girlfriend and–”

“Then what changed? Suddenly, on the plane? Suddenly you were sitting beside me and decided…”

She bit back the sob lodged in her throat and murmured, “I’m sorry. But it’s… it’s the truth of me now and I can’t pretend it’s not. You deserved better than this, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Hobi.” She reached for his hand but was not surprised he pulled it away. His face was so serious. It looked like he was just unhappy, bored, watching people walk quickly through the terminal to catch their flights. A loud family with lots of rolling bags went past. An old lady in a wheelchair. Hoseok’s phone rang and he just looked at it.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again, not sure what else to say. 

“Are you sure you aren’t going to regret this?” he asked with a crooked smile and the tears in his eyes broke her heart.

“No,” she admitted. “I think I may always regret it in some ways. You’re such a dreamboy, Hobi.” He gave a sad smile that she returned. A tear snuck away and she quickly flicked it away. If even he wasn’t crying right now, she couldn’t. 

“But not your dreamboy.”

“You were. And then I just…”

“Did I do something to make your feelings change or–”

“No, Hobi. You really didn’t. This is really really not your fault. And I’m so sorry I didn’t do this before getting on the plane. I’m sorry, I made this so stupid… I know your family is waiting there to meet me and– but I couldn’t meet them and then–”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I get it.” He shook his head and dabbed his eye with the back of his hand. “Shit.”

“I’m so sorry, Hobi–”

“I know. I know Alex. But hey, you um, you have to do what your heart wants, right?” She knew he didn’t mean that to hit as brutally as it did. She wished he meant it as mean as possible. She felt so awful. “What are you going to do?”

“See about getting a flight home.”

“Just turn right around? You don’t want to, um…” He laughed, realizing he had nothing to suggest. She laughed too. They were on the verge of tears, both of them, and she thought how awful this felt, how wrong it felt to end a perfectly good relationship with a perfectly good guy. Why was she doing this? On the off chance Jungkook still wanted to be with her? Even though there were no guarantees he did, or that it would work, or that they would be compatible in a romantic way. Even though there was a perfectly wonderful man right here, offering kindly after she’d just dumped him,

“Ok, let’s go see about your flight.”

“No, you’re not going back to?”

“No, I’ll stay with my family. Maybe… um, I need to call them–”

“No, just go to them,” she insisted. “I’ll get my own flight.”

“And just leave you here in the airport? No way–”

“Yes way,” she said. “I appreciate that you are the kindest soul and of course you’d still want to take care of me after I did this and failed you but–”

“You didn’t fail me, Alex. You were a really good girlfriend. I really loved you.”

“Ok don’t say that,” she pleaded, laughing at her own tears baaaarely hanging on to her waterline. “Oh god, Hobi, I’m so fucking sorry.” She covered her mouth and he put a hand on her shoulder and she laughed, “You don’t need to comfort me!”

“Ah, I’m just… I wish this wasn’t happening.”

She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say anything else or she was definitely going to start sobbing. She hated this. 

Still, she tried, taking his hand, “I probably am going to regret this and miss you for the rest of my life and you’re allowed to tell me ‘I told you so.’”

“I’ll never say that.”

“Even though you’re thinking it right now.”

“Maybe,” he laughed again, and brushed at his eyes. “Ah, Alex. I really thought…”

“I did too…”

He nodded and stood up, then sat back down, “Ok, but I’ll help you get your flight–”

“No, Hobi. Please just go and be with your family and tell them I said they have the most wonderful son.”

“I can’t just leave you.”

“Yes, you can. I’m a grown up and I can handle the consequences of my own bullshit. I’ll be ok. I think I’ll go cry in the bathroom for a little bit and then take care of it so just… I’m so sorry, Hobi. You are a dream come true and I know you are going to get snatched up so fast my head will spin.”

“You’re a tough act to follow.”

She wished that was true but didn’t think so. Instead she stood to encourage him to do so, but when he pulled her into a hug, it was hard not to break down.

“Text me that you have your flight, ok? That you get home ok. Promise?”

“Fine, fine, I promise. Now go! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

He nodded, and turned away, nostrils flaring. She wondered if he would make it to his parents without crying, or if he had the sort of relationship with them where he would cry on their shoulders, or if he’d pretend to be ok in front of his family. 

Alex fled back to the bathroom. She had to wait to go get her bag from baggage claim and then turn around to ticketing until she knew Hobi and his family were gone anyway. Gone without her, off to celebrate without her lying, betraying ass in the middle of them. 

This felt wrong again. It felt wrong to hurt a perfectly wonderful man whom she adored. Why had she done this?! And he’d been such a gentleman about it! Of course he had, he was amazing! This had to be the wrong choice because if it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so bad? 

She sat on the edge of the toilet and quietly cried. She had hoped to feel instant relief, but she just kept thinking of Hoseok’s back walking away. Maybe she was only ever going to make the wrong decisions. Maybe she was going to regret this every bit as much as she had mourned the loss of Jungkook. Maybe she was the stupidest person to ever walk the earth! Hoseok probably hated her now and she respected him so much, that was devastating. 

But she was right, right? She couldn’t be with Hoseok and meet his family and pretend like this was her future when driving away from Jungkook raking leaves, all she had felt was deep and solid certainty in her heart: I belong there with him and I will never be truly happy without him.

Namjoon had caught him crying. He was pretty sure that was why a Friendsgiving suddenly materialized where no Friendsgiving had existed before. Suddenly there was a group text and dates were debated and Namjoon was offering up their place so Jungkook couldn’t even get out of it. One minute Namjoon found Jungkook crying a little too hard at My Best Friend’s Wedding and exactly one day later Jungkook was wedged into the middle of the couch with twenty people cavorting around, offering him wine or bruschetta –or something a little stronger, if he felt like sitting in the backyard with Yoongi and Ash to smoke it. He didn’t.

He wanted to welcome anything that could help him ease into chill right now but worried it would just make him cranky and antisocial. He had taken for granted that he and Alex never hosted things like this, but living with Namjoon taught him just how much they had inconvenienced him every time they took over his place to party. At least now he would be around to help clean up tomorrow, which might take a long time, because Jimin had dropped and shattered a bottle of red wine the second he walked into the kitchen and that was just the beginning of the night.

Jungkook had always been so good at parties before. But he’d always had Alex to retreat to when he wanted a break. At least this party wasn’t as big and rowdy as they used to be, and it was all people he knew. He didn’t feel like performing. The photo he posted to his instagram in the beginning of the party showed him in a blue cableknit sweater with his arms around Taehyung and Namjoon, eight people crammed into the frame, all smiling and happy. 

The absence of Alex was like a hole in his chest.

He felt it like the twinge of a phantom limb every time he started to enjoy himself too much. His friends were funny, it was impossible to completely block out the laugh when Jimin and Taehyung started sword fighting with garlic sticks (which Taehyung had brought but not bothered to even thaw beforehand), or when Sabina teased Namjoon about the stacks of books he had everywhere (“are they decoration? Are these new? These aren’t Jungkook’s. Do you actually read them or just collect them??), or when In’am, after three glasses of wine and all the wedding stress, started doing impersonations of everyone that were uncanny. A bird flew into the house at one point –like a whole ass bird from outside, where Yoongi and his fiance had gone with Ash to smoke– and the chaos that ensued had Jungkook laughing so hard he nearly pissed his pants. He and Taehyung and Sabina managed to chase it back out using pillowcases as Yoongi shouted directions at them and Namjoon acted like a goalie trying to protect the statues he had on shelves in the dining room. 

Alex should be here enjoying everything. Hoseok, much as Jungkook hated to admit it, fit in well too. And since Alex was so over Yoongi these days, it wouldn’t be awkward that Jimin had invited him and Raquel. The greater friend group was healing and growing. Minxi couldn’t make it but Jungkook hoped she’d feel comfortable bringing May one of these days, even if he suspected Alex would have a hard time adjusting to her sister being around more. Anita made it and was busy asking Rebekah all kinds of nosy questions about the food she’d brought for herself, as if she’d never heard of kosher food restrictions before. Obviously Jungkook did because he’d looked them up before so he wouldn’t look like an idiot. Ash and Gwen and Devi and Robert, a whole roster of friends connected to the core of them –to Jungkook and Taehyung and Jimin and Namjoon and Alex. Except Alex wasn’t here. Even fucking Seychelle was here! And the sheer relief Jungkook felt to see she’d been telling the truth that she and Namjoon were friendly but not familiar anymore gave him a few years of his life back. When he’d nudged Anita and asked if she was going to make a move, Anita had hissed at him shut up and don’t fuck this up for me!

He flitted between the groups. Without Alex as an anchor or getting laid as a lure, it was easy to feel lost. He drank a little too quickly in the beginning too; it left him feeling like a silly little kid at a grown up’s party just poking his head in, trying to understand what everyone was talking about. But the buzz wore off and he didn’t replace it and the party came into crisper detail around him.

“Jungkook and I found these at a garage sale,” Namjoon explained to Yoongi, showing him the vinyl collection.

“Hey how much longer does this turkey need to reheat, Lori?”

“Is someone at the door? Oh, it’s Tony!” Pizza, Jungkook muttered under his breath, even though he’d misheard and it was actually Stone, who he hadn’t seen in months.

“Should we set the table? I brought more dishes.”

“So then I told them if they’re just going to do a round of layoffs, put me on the list! I’ll take the severance and get out, I fucking hate it there.”

“Taehyung was such a gentleman and my mother was so pleasant to meet him but afterwards she told me ‘I think he dresses too nice for you, you need to look nicer than your husband!’ Were you wondering why I left home?”

“No! Mothers can be so… You dress well! That’s unhinged to say.”

 “I got an estimate but my dental doesn’t cover, so it’ll be like $1700 out of pocket! That’s insane. They don’t hurt yet so I think I’m going to wait.”

“Oh my god you really need to not wait. Go to the dental school, it’s a little cheaper there.”

Jungkook felt like the conversations rocked him steadily; was he imagining it, or did people keep touching his arm and shoulder as he passed. To comfort him? Had he suddenly gotten so pathetic? He wanted to believe everyone was just like that, and he’d been too busy in the past ricocheting around, drunk and playful and looking for someone to go home with, to slow down and enjoy it. Until sometimes towards the end of the night, when he’d flop around Alex and whine for her to take him home.

“Food’s ready!”

The cheer went up and Jungkook happily jostled in between Jimin and Taehyung as they scrambled around the kitchen counters to pile up their plates with the assortment of foods everyone had brought. Since he’d bailed on the Song’s Thanksgiving dinner, the food tasted extra good, even the ones that were just reheated from other celebrations. 

“We need to get more chairs,” he told Namjoon as they all wedged themselves in around the dining room table and overflow into the living room and kitchen, perching wherever there was an available space to rest a plate. 

“We aren’t usually all sitting down to eat at the same time,” Sabina pointed out. “It won’t happen a lot.”

Namjoon considered this though and argued, “Everyone seems calmer when I have chairs to put your asses in. Maybe our other parties would be tamer if I have a collection of chairs I can drag in from the garage.”

“Do you want them tamer?” Taehyung challenged, leaning on the table.

“Yes,” Namjoon answered easily.

“Ooh ooh should we go around the table and say what we’re thankful for–”

“Noooo,” the suggestion was met with groans and complaints so the idea was dropped. Jungkook would have been embarrassed to answer anyway. I’m thankful Namjoon let me move in with him. I’m thankful I have so many friends who can get together for something like this. 

“Some of you folks are really good cooks,” Raquel, Yoongi’s fiance, mused, which led to a dissection of every dish, who made it, what was store bought. 

“The funny thing I’m thinking is, what if Alex is why we’re so loud? She’s the one who’s not here–”

“No no don’t put that on her, there’s no way she’s the instigator.”

“She’s totally an instigator,” Jimin laughed. “And she’s loud. And–” He broke off and Jungkook lifted his beer to his mouth, afraid for confirmation that this party had really come together because he was such a sad sack.

“I think it’s fair to blame her,” Jungkook insisted loudly. “For too long her true nature has been hidden from all of you. Her greatest talent is she gets everyone around her to be loud and they take the blame while she skitters away.”

“Skitters!”

Jungkook could feel the tension from a few of them –but only a few of them. The rest seemed to take him joking about Alex at face value, same as it had always been. It made him glad if actually his failure and rejection were not truly common knowledge. He’d try not to get so drunk he ruined that.

He would have liked to make more jokes. Talking about her recreated a little of the anchor he was missing without her, but conversation blasted past him and he didn’t get the chance. 

He kept looking for it though. When eating slowed, he was one of the first to leave the table to set up video games in the living room. That felt like it brought a little of her spirit too; she’d be right there with him after a big meal, shoving him to try and throw him off his game if he pulled ahead of her. 

Damnit, he really needed to stop thinking about her. It was pathetic at this point. Creepy. Why did he feel so much worse about it this week than he had before? He thought the rejection was supposed to get better over time but it seemed to be getting worse and he didn’t get it. 

He didn’t feel like playing video games anymore. No one here could beat him anyways, though Taehyung came close. He left others to it and went in search of another group to bunker down with and found Namjoon and Yoongi back at the record player.       

“What’s up, buddy, how you doing?” Namjoon asked him when he drew close.

“Damn, am I that tragic?” he laughed, because even the way Namjoon held his hand out to beckon him closer seemed sad.

“Huh?” At least he seemed genuinely confused, face pinched in confusion before he just gestured, “Come on, dig through, what should we put on next?”

“Hey, Namjoon? Where is the, uh, vacuum cleaner?” Jimin asked, leaning into the doorway. They hadn’t heard anything spill or fall, but could see through to the kitchen where In’am and Raquel both looked nervously down on something while Anita was unwinding paper towels.

“What now…” Namjoon grumbled and pushed up to go see what it was. Jungkook craned his neck to see if he ought to go help, but Namjoon hadn’t asked him to, so he stayed put. He’d been relieved to learn that Namjoon wasn’t actually anal about cleaning after all except during a party, so he suspected Namjoon just got nervous people were going to ruin or break something important, which he could understand. Or expensive. Houses were expensive! So he got it. Especially now that he lived here and would need to help fix whatever it was.

“Did you pick this one out?” Yoongi asked, showing an album –that in fact Jungkook had picked out: Florence and the Machine. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Figures,” Yoongi laughed. 

“What does that mean? Real men know she’s great.”

“Yeah, I know. Great songwriting,” Yoongi agreed. “Just not what Namjoon has been in to lately.” Jungkook wondered suddenly if Yoongi knew Alex liked them. Was that why he’d asked about that album? It made him think of Alex.

“Hey, did you just stop hanging out with most of us because of breaking up with Alex?” Jungkook asked because apparently his filter wasn’t working today.

“Uh. Yeah, in the beginning. Who wants to hang out with the girl who dumped them and her friends? But I had other friends anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. I still stayed tight with Jimin and Namjoon and it’s no hard feelings now.”

“I know but you never came to the guy stuff she wouldn’t have been at. You could have gone to shows or whatever with us even if– Wait, what did you say?” Jungkook belatedly caught. The girl who dumped them…

But Yoongi was shaking his head, “Yeah well I didn’t want to be around you either.”

“Uh…” The inside of Jungkook’s brain ground to a halt. He made a face that apparently amused Yoongi.

“Yeah, it was weird watching nothing happen from a distance.”

“Wait, uh…” Too many questions. 

“Yeah?”

“She dumped you?!” The inside of Jungkook’s mind was blindingly bright right now at this revelation.

Yoongi grinned, “I know, I’m a catch. Raquel thinks so at least.”

“No but I thought– she was so upset. I thought you dumped her.”

“Did she say that? Because that is definitely not what happened.”

“Uh… I don’t remember… but I thought– she definitely made it seem like that. She definitely didn’t tell me she’s the one who ended it. So then why was she always so cagey? When we saw you at Jimin’s engagement party– before that she…” He was trying to connect the dots in his head but it wasn’t working yet. “And what do you mean you didn’t want to be around me? I mean, yeah, I thought you dumped her so I probably would have been a shit–”

“Yeah you were a shit to me,” Yoongi snickered. “Makes more sense now to hear you thought I dumped her. At the time it was like what the fuck, why are you being shitty to me? It should be the other way!”

“Why would it be the other way?!”

“Yeah cause you’re the guy she dumped me for? And then she didn’t even start dating you,” Yoongi snorted and shook his head, looking like this was something he had long ago made peace with but still felt a shadow of annoyance about.

But he’d just flipped the table on Jungkook. How could this be true? Had Alex said the words ‘Yoongi dumped me’ or had he gotten it all wrong? He couldn’t remember! But she’d acted so upset… like when you got dumped, not when you did the dumping.

“That’s not true,” he assured Yoongi. “She didn’t dump you for–”

Yoongi clearly thought this was funny and mused, “Damn, you guys really never– Jimin and Namjoon would tell me about it but it’s been amusing to see. Kinda sad I guess. I mean I am happy with Raquel and in the long run it was better, I met a great woman, so I say this without any malice: you’re both kinda stupid, right?”

“We were just friends. And sure now it’s all gone to shit but…we were definitely only friends then. If she dumped you, it didn’t have anything to do with me.”

“She told me ‘I’m really sorry you are great but I am in love with someone else.’ So…” Yoongi gave him a look, then laughed and went back to trading the vinyl on the record player.

“What? No. She… she meant someone else? She wasn’t in love with anyone. Probably she was just lying to try and make it easier. She was crazy about you. And really nervous so probably she just said that because she was too chickenshit to break up with you… but why would she break up with you?”

Yoongi snorted through his nose and suggested, “When women tell me something, I tend to believe them, especially when I kind of already knew so I wasn’t really surprised.”

“I don’t think it was true though. I think she was just making it up and now she’s happy with her new boyfriend and… ah,” he sighed, no point in skirting around it. “I confessed to her but she stayed with her boyfriend. So you see? She didn’t love me.”

“Ah. Well, now you know, if she dumps him it’ll be the second time she dumped a guy for you.”

Jungkook was dumbfounded. Yoongi just seemed so sure about this and Jungkook couldn’t honestly remember if Alex had ever said Yoongi dumped her. But she’d been so upset! But…

Ugh, he just wanted to ask Alex. Not that it mattered but… but if she’d dumped her boyfriend for him… No, that couldn’t be right! She never said anything to Jungkook about being in love with him –always the opposite, she was always offended when people suggested it! And he just kept fucking whoever he liked– but he would have stopped if she had given him any indication she was into him! She hadn’t! He couldn’t read her mind! If she had wanted to start something with him, if she had just said that, it would have changed everything. Maybe he didn’t realize until a few months ago how much he loved her but if at any point Alex had seemed into him, he would have embraced that way earlier rather than just boxing it up as a not gonna happen and shoving it to the back of the closet.                                                                              

Jungkook sat there as the new album played and just sank into the shock that once again, he may have been so wrong. He thought he knew everything there was to know about Alex! And now, when he felt most separate from her, he realized he may never have known her as completely as he had thought. He’d set her apart as not a conquest, not an option, and in doing so, made up his own truths about a whole part of her life. 

And maybe really, really hurt her in the process.

Yoongi hadn’t hurt her. Hoseok wasn’t hurting her. Had he done it? Could it be true? Why hadn’t they dated if she broke up with Yoongi for him… had she said something he missed? She must have thought there was hope if she’d dumped her boyfriend! No, it made way more sense that she just did the Alex thing of lying when put on the spot. She’d told him her dog died when she and Yoongi broke up, after all, so there had definitely been a lot of lies flying around at that point.

But which was the lie: had she loved him or not?

He just wanted to ask her about it and finally hear her truth about everything. But he couldn’t. She was off meeting her boyfriend’s family. What was he going to say about any of it now anyway? Sorry I didn’t notice you were in love with me. But she’d said she wasn’t so. Many. times! Was it really so wrong he’d believed her?! He’d been so nice comforting her after Yoongi dumped her, except apparently he was comforting her after she dumped her boyfriend? And never once while she was falling asleep on his chest watching a movie had she said–

That was just a normal friend thing though. Right? Snuggling didn’t mean you were in love. Jungkook would gladly snuggle any of his friends. Alex just happened to be snugglier than the rest. The tits helped.

Damn, he wished Alex was here to help him make sense of things. He wished Alex was here because she’d enjoy this low-key Thanksgiving party. He wished Alex was here because life was just better with her close. He wished Alex was here and if she was, he’d make sure to listen better this time, even to the things she didn’t say. 

He sighed deeply and, to vent his feelings, tried to joke, “Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway. Too late. You should have told me, picked a fight or something.”

“Is it too late?”

“Yeah, I tried.”

“Maybe you just need to suffer for a little bit,” Yoongi suggested. “She clearly thought it was too late if she got a new boyfriend and then you came around, huh? I don’t know. Not my concern anymore but that’s funny she didn’t even tell you she dumped me. I really resented you, you know! Alex was a sweet girlfriend.”

“She’s a sweet girl,” Jungkook said, and resisted appending all the other things he would typically call her. Turtle, slug bug, shrimpy, skrunkle baby, Pop Tart, bed bug, gremlin, Snarflepuss when she was grumpy. Those were too intimate to be shared now. 

“Well. I wish you luck. What do you think about this one? Namjoon said you’ve got good music taste, let’s see what else we have in common.”

Alex’s legs ached. She’d collapsed on the bed backwards about twenty minutes ago and not yet found the motivation to move again. The mattress was cheap and the comforter was scratchy as shit. She kept throwing it on the ground after too many horror stories about how they never got washed but housekeeping kept putting it back on. She had no interest in warring with housekeeping, though it was a nice personal touch to her stay, evidence of life when otherwise this was the loneliest four days of her life.

But also not quite the worst! Well, right up there. But in some ways not so bad. Maybe not as bad as she deserved…

Her phone lit up and it happened to be within reach so she grabbed it to look.

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: you are breaking mama and baba’s hearts

[Alex meimei]: fuck off

She didn’t know what her sister had meant by that but was not in the mood for any more guilt piled onto her chest. 

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: wow

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: what’s up with you? Hobi’s family realize what a creature you are too fast?

Alex didn’t answer. She didn’t feel like joking with her sister right now. She needed to decide whether she was going to take a bath in the probably gross hotel tub (who was she kidding, she would) to see if that would help her shins. Was it possible to walk so much you broke your shins? She wanted a foot massage.

Hobi would have given her a foot massage.

Frowny face.

Her phone lit up again.

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: nothing?

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: hey everything ok for real?

It was unlike May to be “for real” in text and now Alex wondered what was going on that had made her sister text in the first place.

She didn’t have to wait long because her phone lit up with an actual call. And while she didn’t have to or want to answer it, she still did.

“Yeah what?” she grumbled, realizing she sounded way grumpier than she actually felt.

“What’s going on with you? How’s it going?”

“Fine. Why are you calling me? Nothing happened at home did it?”

“No. Thanksgiving happened, I don’t know. Mama and Baba worked their asses off and it was nice, I guess.”

“Hm,” Alex said, staring at the ceiling. “Did you bring your boyfriend home?”

“No.”

“Mama was hoping you would so maybe you’re the one who broke their hearts, not me.”

“You broke their hearts because you aren’t sending pictures,” May countered. “They think you’ve replaced them.”

“Well I haven’t.”

The call went silent for a minute and Alex wondered again why she had answered. She was desperate for contact, that was it. 

“Hey so… you can say it’s stupid but I just got a big sister gut feeling something was up. Are you really ok? There’s nothing going on?”

Alex froze. The shock of this kindness and concern from May was almost as stunning as how deeply Alex felt it in her heart.

“Oh.”

“Oh? What does that mean?” May asked.

“I just…” She sat up and looked out the window, but it was just lights dotting dark buildings and her own room reflected back to her. The room was spartan but the cheapest she could find that still gave her a private bath. “No,” she admitted. “Things haven’t been ok. I did something really stupid.”

“Uh oh,” May said but did not sound surprised, Alex thought. 

“Nevermind–”

“No, just tell me. What did you do?”

“You can keep a secret?”

“Yeah.”

Alex didn’t know why she was telling May this. She and May had an antagonistic relationship at best. They didn’t share secrets. Once they had been closer, and they weren’t exactly enemies now, but May was kind of a bully so Alex bullied her back, and they didn’t really do the heart to hearts or anything. So what made her do it now?

“I’m actually in a hotel,” she said.

“Oh shit, what did you–”

“I broke up with Hobi.”

Dead silence on the line.

Then, “Uh… why? What? When? But…”

“I know…” Alex sighed deeply. 

“What did he do?” May’s voice sounded actually a little fierce.

“Nothing,” Alex admitted. “Absolutely nothing. Continued to be the wonderful guy he has always been. And I dumped him in the airport as soon as we landed while his parents were waiting to get us in baggage claim. Isn’t that fucked up?”

“This is… I’m so confused…. Unless…”

“I was going to just fly home– isn’t that so stupid? Like I flew all the way here and then broke up with him. But changing my flight was going to be crazy expensive so I got a cheap hotel room and I’ve just been wandering San Francisco–”

“Oh my god!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s… is that… are you having fun?”

“A little bit,” Alex laughed. “It’s a cool city! I saw the bridge and I went on a ferry tour and today I went to the zoo just by myself. I spent Thanksgiving Day in Chinatown and it was pretty cool. I’m so fucking tired though, I’ve never walked this much in my life.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So you just… dumped him.”

Alex still felt the twinge of it in her chest, “Yeah.”

“How’s that feeling?”

“Really stupid,” Alex laughed. “Who does that? Who dumps someone like Hobi? Only a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you.”

“May!”

May started laughing, “Fuck, I can’t believe this. You really flew all the way there and then what, he chewed too loudly on the plane or something? You were like no I can’t stand this shit a moment longer–”

“No!”

“I can’t even make it through this week for this guy to save face in front of his family–”

“I would have been just lying to everyone,” Alex argued. 

“You are fucking insane,” May cackled. “You couldn’t figure that out before you got on the fucking plane?! What the fuck is it with you two?”

“Nothing anymore, we broke up.”

“Not you and Hobi, you and fucking Jungkook.”

“What– what does he have to do with anything?”

May’s noise grumble made Alex feel uncomfortably exposed.

“Isn’t he why you dumped Hobi? God I can’t believe that is a true sentence I just said–”

“He’s– no, I– what are you talking about? What do you know about anything?”

“I know so much. Way more than you.”

Alex’s stomach flipped. What did that mean?! But she hated her sister lording things over her; she didn’t want to beg for information.

“I’m not in the mood for your bullshit,” Alex sighed. “So whatever, have fun, I’m going to go soak–”

“I know you moved out because he told you he loved you,” May rushed out.

“Yeah well apparently he’s been blabbing that around.”

“So? Is that why you dumped this perfect man?”

“I didn’t say that. I just– the relationship had run its course.”

“Have you talked to Jungkook?”

“No, of course not. Why would I?”

“Have you talked to anyone? Or have you just been sulking alone in a hotel room–”

“I’m not sulking! I told you all the things I’ve been doing! Actually this is the least sulking I’ve ever done about anything! I deserved to just hole up in the hotel room and binge junk food and watch TV but I didn’t do that, I went out and tried to enjoy the city I’m spending like a thousand dollars– oh god this trip is so expensive,” Alex groaned. “Over a thousand dollars to be alone for Thanksgiving.”

“So you dumped Hobi for Jungkook but you didn’t immediately call him–”

“I didn’t say I dumped him for Jungkook!” Alex cried.

“Ok ok. Are you going to call him though? Can I tell him? He’s going to freak out–”

“No,” Alex said bluntly. “Don’t tell him any of my business. Don’t talk to any of my friends or tell mom and dad. Just…  I’m just still trying to figure it out myself.”

The silence that followed lasted long enough Alex figured May had gotten bored that she wouldn’t rise to her taunts. But eventually May said instead,

“Fine. You don’t have to tell me anything and I won’t tell anyone either.”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m just saying… he’s really going through it. So if you did break up with Hobi to date Jungkook, I would really appreciate it as your sister if I could be there to see his face when you tell him–”

“Stop stop!” Alex cried. Because it was too much for her heart. She had intentionally not gone right to a hotel to call Jungkook. She didn’t want to talk to him at all right now. Because she actually wasn’t sure she was ready to just go jump right into Jungkook’s arms –as romantic and silly and giddy and terrifying as that sounded. 

Would he be happy? Would he be really happy if she called Jungkook and told him she wanted to see him as soon as she landed, that she’d broken up with Hobi, that she wanted to be with him? The idea he would be happy about that felt like a fever dream. Impossible. What if he was upset she’d called his bluff? What if he’d already moved on? What if they tried and her fears that this was the wrong path came true? What if despite their intentions they couldn’t get past the hurdle of friendship and he really couldn’t feel romantic or sexual towards her–

“Apparently he was moping around so hard at home that your friends threw a–”

“I don’t want to know!”

“Ok… geez.”

“How do you even know what’s going on with my friends? Bug off!”

May sighed, “Alex I’m just trying to help you.”

“Since when?”

“Since I’m your older sister and it brings me great joy to–”

“Thwart me.”

“No no, only sometimes.”

“All the time.”

“Believe it or not, I do actually want you to be happy,” May insisted. “And, personally, I like Jungkook as a brother in law better than Hoseok.”

“What! Why– why would you say that? Don’t say that…”

“You were only ever trailing after Hoseok. Jungkook is right down in the trashcan with you. I think that’s sweet.”

Alex sighed noisily.

“I think you know I’m right.”

“I wasn’t choosing between two guys,” Alex corrected. “I didn’t dump Hobi for Jungkook. I just couldn’t meet his family and stay in a relationship with someone when I wasn’t all in anymore. That’s not fair.”

“Yoongi all over.”

“Shut up,” Alex scowled. Damn did she regret ever telling her sister about that. The teasing had gone too far and she’d vowed never to tell May anything ever again and yet here she was telling her things. “I don’t… I don’t even know if I trust the things Jungkook said. It just seems too sudden. So I broke up with Hoseok for me and I’m here in San Francisco enjoying some me time–”

“Sudden? You think Jungkook’s feelings are sudden? God, you two are perfect for each other, you’re both so stupid.”

“May! You’re such a bitch!”

“Yeah better than being so fucking stupid! Do you have any idea how nauseating it was watching him crumble to bits when you got a boyfriend? He’s clearly been in love with you for years without doing anything about it and you were in love with him for years too, obviously.”

“Why obviously?! Everyone just always assumes I’m in love with him just because he’s hot–”

“No, because you two are always touching and teasing each other and ganging up on me. You act like a little stupid love unit– and if you say you were just friends I’m going to reach through the phone and strangle you. Nothing you guys did was what normal friends do. That’s just not what friends are like, Alex. Like, it’s not normal. It’s been disgusting to watch–”

“You’re exaggerating. He wasn’t in any way in love with me until I suddenly had a boyfriend–”

“Alex, he’s stupid.”

“Don’t be mean. He’s not.”

“I’m sorry but you love a stupid man and you have to accept the consequences of that, like him not realizing his own feelings until too late.”

“Uh huh. And all the women he fucked while he was supposedly heartbroken–”

“You mean since he had his epiphany? None. At least I don’t think so–”

“Rebekah told me about Anita. I guess he’s, like, dating or–”

“Oh my god. Please. Please be the smarter one,” May begged. “He’s not dating Anita.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know. Nothing else. But hey if you don’t want him or you want time to yourself– do that too, that’s ok. You don’t have to rush into anything.” The shift in her tone was suspicious; she couldn’t see Alex’s narrowed eyes but maybe she felt it through the line. “I don’t mean to sound like I’m pushing you to run to Jungkook.”

“I think I just need some time.” Alex admitted. “I mean…” She trailed off in thought and for once May didn’t stomp into the silence. “It sucks. Breaking up with Hobi sucks. It hurts even though I’m feeling more like it was the right choice. Maybe. But when I get home and we have to like trade stuff back and tell people at work and stuff– I think it’s going to hurt all over again. I have to face him again. Maybe I ruined his Thanksgiving. Maybe he’ll hate me… it just sucks. I broke up with Hobi because it’s not fair to be with one person when I’m so… anchored to another one. But that’s true the other way too. It doesn’t feel real yet. I don’t want to call Jungkook and say something stupid, do something too stupid and fast and still be all wrapped up in this.”

“I get it,” May said. Gently. Gently. Who was this on the phone and could they permanently body-snatch May? Did she have to get her real sister back?

“If… if I do talk to Jungkook and decide to um… see if he still wants to try that… I can’t even say it,” Alex laughed at herself. “I just feel like it needs to be new and fresh and not messy with this. So I think I’m just going to take some time right now and see… see what feels right to do…”

A beat of silence was followed by May, “That’s really mature, Alex. I’m surprised.” She didn’t even say it meanly, even if the words were a little mean.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I mean it. You’ve grown up a lot. And for what it’s worth, I think Jungkook has too. I think you’re smart to want to be clean and clear. And hey, no matter what happens, whether you stay on your own or try with Jungkook or that doesn’t work out or whatever…”

“...Yes?” Alex prodded. “Is this where you’re going to say something really nice and sisterly and unlike you?”

“You’ll always be an idiot to me anyway, so don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, thanks so much May,” she laughed but that felt kinda good too. She felt love in what her sister said. “I guess your boyfriend isn’t an idiot, huh?”

May got really stuffy as she insisted, “Oh, I’m dating the smartest person you can possibly think of. No competition. Don’t worry–”

“Can’t be too smart if he’s dating you.”

“I am a great girlfriend!”

“Are you though?”

“Yeah. I can give you some pointers–”

“UH, did you miss where I had two guys fighting over me?”

“Allegedly,” May quickly corrected. “You don’t believe Jungkook, you said.”

“I’ll believe him if it means holding it over your head.”

“Whatever, two boys? You can keep ‘em.”

“Yeah? You sure you aren’t a little in love with Jungkook yourself? You seemed awful quick to push me towards him–”

“I just think he’s a good guy,” May interrupted. “Never tell him I said that. And I think you’re ok too. And also Edgar and I made a bet years ago–”

“What?!?”

“Yeah our brother is an idiot too but just to be clear, I get $500 if you and Jungkook start dating so I do have an ulterior motive here.”

“May,” Alex gasped. “You… you were willing to put odds in my favor that Jungkook would date me?”

“Jungkook didn’t make me hesitate, it was always obvious you’re the only love in his eyes. I figured you were the one who’d have to decide. And you’re proving me right! I know all things and feel really good about myself now.” Everything May was saying was like pouring sugar and honey down her throat. She shivered at the intoxication of it. It couldn’t be true but it felt so scandalous to imagine.

Alex sighed, “Well glad one of us does, I don’t know shit.”

“Hey.” Alex braced herself for whatever was coming next. “When you get home, let’s spend some time together. Maybe I’ll tell you some secrets too.”

“Ooooooh? Like what?”

“You’ve gotta come home to find out.”

“You think I’m just going to stay here? I can’t afford this place! We can hang out but you’ve gotta pay for me, San Francisco is expensive as shit.”

“Yeah whatever we’ll see. Just enjoy the rest of your solo trip. Get a massage or something.”

“I fly home tomorrow.”

“Fine, don’t get a massage! Just take care of yourself.”

“Thanks May. Oddly nice of you.”

“I know, I’m feeling generous. Now I gotta go, bye.” She promptly hung up. But Alex was left with a warm and fuzzy feeling that things were going to turn out all right. Her sister’s unusual kindness meant a lot to hear. Learning that May thought Jungkook was the one who would fall for her first, that meant a lot to her.

Alex stretched out on the bed and closed her eyes –just for a minute!-- and decided she was doing the right thing. She could take her time. She didn’t have to decide anything now. When she got home, she’d deal with the fallout of her breakup, and decide whether she wanted to jump right in with Jungkook or ease back into friendship or what. She’d figure it out. She’d survived so many painful parts by now, surely the next part could be easier?

For right now, it was kind of cool to be a girl on an adventure by herself. She pushed up from the bed and grabbed her shoes and decided to go out just for a little bit longer and enjoy herself. Maybe she was in the eye of the hurricane right now, but at least she was her own best company.

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#jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook x oc #jungkook smut #jungkook f2l #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bangtan smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfiction #fuckboy au #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook series #jungkook/reader #jungkook/oc #jungkook #tellmewhatchanged #tell me what changed #tmwc #fuckboy jungkook #jeon jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic

[meowsticmarvels]

hello mcsm community. this is a repost of a long ass twitter thread i made so i apologize in advance if its formatted weird (and sort of disorganized). but heres some of my Thoughts and analysis on radar. i have much more to say than just this of course but HERE WE GO! radar insaneposting tumblr edition. long post incoming (i worked very hard on this)

ANYWAYS!

- he idolizes the new order and puts them on a pedestal above himself a bit. i mean from some dialogue it's clear he doesn't have the highest opinion of himself but he treats the new order smiliarly to how they felt about the old order in thw wither storm arc

- i have mentioned this several times but the "prison radar" thing definitely comes across to me as him trying to overcompensate (and mimic those he sees as "strong" like petra and jack) sort of. like if you contextualise it with how a lot of the characters called him weak an episode prior and it definitely seemed to have an impact on him its like. yeah. especially being thrown into a situation like w/ the sunshine institute and the whole iron breathtaker thing that has Got to fuck you up. idk i jusy see a lot of people take that at face value like "oh look he's being silly" when it comes across to me as more like insecurity ig?

- hes so autism its unreal

but yeah the whole thing kinda fucks him up

ig the only thing thay kinda bothers me is that arc doesnt feel finished. and also jesse can ENCOURAGW him to act like someone hes not??? OH AND. id like to point out this thing also involves him trying to break his own strict patterns which is p interesting to me. by this i mean the "disregard my bedtime! break whatever rules I feel like! within reason!" he seems to feel that in order to become stronf he has to be like. less caring of the rules w/e but the "within reason" line and the fact that he dislikes things being disorganized still is like. he doesnt Want to act like this. he doesnt seem to like thag but he feels iys the only way he can be strong and adapt to such a lifethreatening situation (to act like someone he clearly isnt)

another point id like to make is his relationship with Stella. it isnt really explored past this one scene in episode 2 of s2 but god there's a lot to unpack here

"you'll never change" - has stella... always been like this?  even when radar worked under her (which HAS to be at least a year before s2 bc apparently he's been working for jesse for about a year)

 also she calls him a "quitter" which. 1. has a negative connotation meaning that she Does Not Approve of him leaving 2. implies he quit of his own accord. this isn't normal former boss/former employee interaction though something definitely happened. like theyre both Weirdly Hostile and this is never brought up again....... ehat happened.

also "he doesn't even know how to use a sword" this part stuck out to me but Considering this thing i noticed a few months ago about how the mcsm world is very. survival oriented and people who can slay powerful monsters (i.e. old order) are looked at with high respect. so basically she's calling him weak here which is. Huh. also "you don't know anything" girl what happened.... why does radar feel he has to prove himself like that...

"id be careful about counting on him for anything" what did she mean by this. did radar fuck up in some way unintentionally and it pissed stella off or something??? because something clearly happened and im very sad this is never explored further bc this is a fucking interesting plot point.

also. the last image...... this is so fucking interesting regarding radar as a character because it does actually provide context for the whole prison radar thing. like holy shit this says a lot. the first line kinda shows his insecurity already. he's aware people don't believe in him and think he's weak and a coward, but he's going to try anyway. he feels he has to prove himself kinda.. like "you'll see! i can do it watch!" and considering his behavior in this episode it shows. he's overcompensating for that fear and trying to prove that he can be enough to make a difference. especially shown by how he reacts when "Vos" tells him he's not up for the task. he's trying, it isn't enough, so he decides to mimic his heroes and pretend to be someone he isn't (which... unfortunately half the cast doesn't take seriously)

the second line proves my points more. "im not the person she thinks i am anymore" raises a lot of questions on what happened ofc but there's also the "I can be different. Braver. If that's what the situation requires... I'll do it." and guess what! he *does* do that! a combination of pressure from people telling him that he can't do it and he'd just get hurt in the process and is too weak and cowardly to really do much + the stress of the situations he's thrust into seems to sort of catalyze his decision to put on the "prison radar" persona and pretend to mimic his heroes and act strong to not only make a difference and mean something but also to survive The Horrors . but he doesn't want to do this, that isn't who he is as a person, moreso what he feels he has to do. also thinking of pne line where he says something abojt the "incredible misery in the world crushing down on you". like this is a random throwaway line?? clearly the entire situation of s2 is Getting to him but he never really gets to Express that

now ofc like i mentioned this arc is in no way perfect. it's fucking interesting but it feels unresolved and forgotten by episode 5 along with the other characters completely ignoring the fact that that isn't who he is along with jesse even praising that in some dialogue options. like the writing of this kinda confuses me because everything radar says and feels up to that point implies that it's a façade built to be what others want him to be and as a stress response but some later things kinda treat the way he acts as a Good Thing and like ???? like i get it if they wanted to do the "being more courageous" arc sure. fine. but this doesn't seem like it was simply written as that. he does Not usually act like how he does during the "prison radar" thing and its just never addressed. which fucks me up bc this is personally one of my favorite character arcs of mcsm due to how complicated and insane it is + hes one of my favorite characters ever and i relate to his issues a lot but instead thw writings kinda ????? but yeah. its always bothered me really but to be Fair mcsm was hit by a lot of budget cuts that affected the plot like dont even get me started on the scrapped assistant to the warden who sesms to be meant to be the antithesis to radar kind of... and im p sure some episodes had different writers. so yeah this sucks but it isnt gonna piss me off that bad I just wish his arc was handled a bit differently. might potentially write something or w/e about this but anyways if you read this entire thread 1. you're insane 2. we do a little trolling. follow me mcsm truthers

original tweet thread here: https://twitter.com/rival_trevor/status/1659130820999753730?s=20

#mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm radar #radar mcsm #minecraft story mode radar #please reblog i worked very hard on this... im insan #also i am a radar autism truther #long post #character analysis

[galvanizedfriend]

⭐️ for Gasoline and Spin! (two of my favs)

Gasoline is something that I started writing for a different fandom, about a billion years ago, and for some reason it suddenly gave me Klaroline vibes. I love a good musicians AU, so there's also that, and the idea of exploring a very messy side of Caroline and that relationship was something that enjoyed a lot. They're both extremely screwed up in the head in that setting, but Klaus fakes it better, while Caroline soldiers on by being extremely focused and disciplined, but she didn't get the clean cut she wishes she did, and it shows how much that affects her. I was originally going to write it as a long multi-chap, had the whole thing planned out. It was a bit of an ensemble story, where other characters would get their own development and so on, but I totally lost my mojo and then posted it as a one shot only, because I really liked that first chapter and I felt it worked anyway. But then @definedareasofuncertainty (she's behind everything, always lol) asked me to write a sequel and I decided to give it to her a birthday gift (I'm such a lame friend tbh 🥲), and so I had to include smut, because she's always calling me names for my fade to blacks 🥲

I like the open ending tbh, the idea that they can face the fact neither of them is completely happy and they have all this resentment for each other, but that there is no easy fix because they simply want different things from life. I was very particular about how I thought Klaus would be the ~~~softer part in this finale, because that's what he's like when he's with Caroline. He understands her needs, allows her to rage and scream, and always leaves the ball in her court. She's the one who makes the important moves. And so in that moment, he's just giving her what she needs, which is a closure of sorts and a promise that, maybe, further down the road, they'll finally be on the same page. It's all about timing and how bittersweet and heartbreaking it can be.

As for Spin - honestly, I love Spin. 😂 If I had to rec one of my fics to people, Spin would probably be top 3. I draw a lot of inspiration from my obsession of the day, and this was when I was watching The Politician like a mad person. The whole high school lovers to rivals had me by the throat (even though on the show it's actually very sad and depressing, in spire of the general insanity).

Again, it's an opportunity to have Klaus be a major little shit while also being a sucker for Caroline. I just think this story has so many aspects of them that I love. The bickering, the rivalry, the bitterness. The occasional betrayal. Klaus looking at Caroline like the sun shines out of her eyes, believing in her when everyone else just sort of roll their eyes. The Steroline relationship that is phony and convenient but lacking in everything. Klaus being propelled into impulsive, erratic behavior because of his family. The two of them finding a measure of comfort and understanding in each other, which is the last thing they could've expected.

I don't know, man, I just love them in this. 😂 Maybe it's just me, but I feel like it's a very well-rounded fic that adapts their dynamic well into a high school AU. I wish I could write more fics like that tbh.

#yokan answers #anon #ask game