stress-free. - leon s. kennedy.
summary: you give leon a back massage while he talks to you.
tw: fluff, slight angst, some sadness, scars, swearing, etc.
leon kennedy x female reader
•••
Leon had his eyes closed as you gently rubbed his tense muscles, the warm air blowing through the room in a relaxing fashion. The TV was playing, but Leon was hardly listening to the movie that was playing, your massages working wonders on his aching muscles. He would let out a groan or two every once in a while, the sound music to your ears as you worked your fingers against his bare back.
"You okay?" you quietly asked, running your fingers against his back and tracing the outlines of his many scars. He opened his eyes and looked at the wall across from him, his hands were folded together on his lap. He sighed softly.
"Yeah," he replied. "Just… thinking, I guess." You frowned at his response, and leaned down to press a kiss on his neck. “You can talk to me if you want to, y'know?"
Leon hummed. "I know," he responded. "I just...don't know where to start."
You paused in your movements, your hands stilling against his back. You were silent, allowing him to think and collect his thoughts, you were interested in what was going on in his mind.
"I watch people die all the time," Leon suddenly stated. "People I have no idea who they are, people I have no connection with. And when it happens, I can’t help but feel horrible."
You were quiet.
"I think about their families, their friends, the people who care about them. And how their lives were cut short. How they had so much potential. And they're not here anymore. It's...a lot. All of the death, the loss. Ever since Raccoon City, I’ve been surrounded by it. Death. It's just a part of my everyday life. I hate it."
"It's hard," you whispered, knowing exactly what he was going through. You both were in the same position, having been there for each other during your darkest times. “And I understand it's not something you can easily get over. It never is."
"Yeah," he murmured, turning his head and resting his chin against his hand. He had a tired look in his eyes, his lips were turned down into a frown. “I’ve lost so many people, you…you don’t understand. How do you move on after you've seen people being eaten by zombies? How can you continue your life when you've seen someone being blown up to bits right in front of you? When you've had to fight to survive against a goddamn tyrant that has no fucking limit and just keeps coming..”
You bit your lip. "I can’t imagine, Leon..”
Leon was silent. "I just...don't feel like I deserve this. Any of this. The people who died didn't get to live their life to the fullest. And yet, here I am, alive and living my life. When I shouldn't even be alive."
"That's not true, Leon," you whispered, pressing another kiss against his neck. “You are very important to me.”
He swallowed. "Sometimes, I wish that it would have been me who died instead of the others," he said. "The world would have been a better place if that was the case.”
“Leon. Stop.” I say sternly, my hands going around his body to rest against his chest. I lean against him, holding him close.
He sighed and turned his head away from me, looking off to the side. His gaze was clouded and far away. He was lost in thought, his mind probably going a mile a minute. You were silent, waiting patiently for him to speak.
"Is this..," Leon began, pausing for a moment. He licked his lips, hesitating. "Is this my life now? Do I just keep going through life, pretending everything is fine when it's not?"
"What do you mean?" you asked.
"Am I just gonna have to keep watching people die? Keep living this nightmare that never seems to end? Is it always going to be like this?" Leon questioned. "Is this what the rest of my life is going to be?"
“I..I don’t know, Leon..”
He sighed, looking down. His expression was unreadable, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. You felt your heart break at his expression. You didn't know what to say to him, or what you could say to him. “I’m sorry you have to go through so much, Leon. It’s crazy and terrifying..I’m really sorry..and I wish I could help you..”
He glanced at you, before closing his eyes. There was a long silence between you two. You rested your chin against his shoulder, feeling his breathing calm down. After a few moments, he broke the silence.
"I love you," he murmured. "I really do."
"I love you, too, Leon," you whispered.
His mouth twitched slightly.
"Can you promise me something?" he asked, opening his eyes and staring ahead at the TV.
"Of course," you responded, moving your arms from around him. "Anything."
"Promise me that no matter what happens, you won't leave my side," he requested, glancing at you. "No matter how fucked up things are. Please."
"Leon," you said softly, cupping his face and pressing your lips against his forehead. He leaned into your touch, placing his hand over yours. “You know I would never leave you. I love you. No matter what. I promise."
He nodded, closing his eyes again. "Okay," he whispered, his voice breaking.
You held him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You’re going to be alright, Leon," you whispered.
He swallowed, looking at you. You gave him a reassuring smile, hoping to convey how much you loved him and how much you cared. “Thanks for listening…I feel like you’re the only one who really understands me..and the only person who can help me out of this hole. I really do appreciate it."
"I'll always be here for you," you said, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly.
•••
a/n: it’s okay..
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𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙾𝚂 𝙾𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙰 | 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱
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