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aceoflights · 1 year

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Alright, so, exactly one person said that I should do a long post about my thoughts on this scene. And that's literally all I needed. So, here I go, I guess. I'll try to be coherent.

This scene (and honestly Colin in this episode in general) really hit something deep in me as a queer person. I think it touched on something that I haven't seen a lot of media touch on in that way, but that I and a lot of other queer people have experienced

So, let's get into the scene, specifically Colin's reactions to everything.

I couldn't find gifs for everything I'm talking about, so here's the scene.

At first they're just talking about how cool Zava is and how much they admire him. And everything is fine. Until Richard calls Zava sexy, and Isaac's response is "Sounds a bit gay, bruv". And yeah, he's not saying "I hate gay people". But look at him and how he acts. He says it with a laugh. In a "you're being weird" way. Now, my point here is not to say that Isaac is homophobic. He is however referring to being gay as kinda weird, funny and almost a bit absurd. Y'know, the kind of jokes straight people make when they think there are only other straight people in the room. This is what closeted people live through every day.

I'm actually gonna put some tags from one of my other posts here. Because, yeah, exactly.

#I watched a few cishet reactions to the episode and #the way they Did Not understand the locker room scene #like that wasn't a funny 'joking with the gay guy' moment #that was a moment of 'we are all straight and the joke IS a gay guy' #like Colin is living in that liminal space of #okay maybe they aren't outright homophobic but they sure aren't openly accepting #and any change to that status quo may potentially make things Very Dangerous #so he just Isn't going to challenge that at all (@king-kal)

#stop acting like its all okay #this is exactly what makes it terrifying to come out #and what gaslights people into believing thier pain isn't real #because yes theres more blatant and explicit homophobia out there #but this does real damage too #and its fucking hard to know where youll be safe when the people around you give no indication that theyd accept anyone queer (@not-a-cheese-thief)

#however much they love him there has been absolutely nothing about them in relation to queer people that indicate they’d be #supportive and accepting #you really just never know which is partly why coming out is so terrifying (@theoneandonlypigeon)

Now, let's have a look at Colin. As soon as Issac says that, he has Colin's full attention. He turns his head, his eyes are on Isaac. And he looks kinda scared. Anticipating. He's listening intently.

When you're closeted, and the topic of queerness is mentioned, especially if someone who matters is around, like a friend, you pay attention. You pay attention to what they say, to how they react. To figure out what they think about queer people. What they would think about you if they knew. Would they treat you differently? Would they start to dislike you even? Or would they maybe be supporting?

As a closeted queer person you can never be sure if you're safe. As some of the tags above have pointed out, nobody is saying anything overtly homophobic here, but nobody is saying anything to indicate they would be supportive either. So really Colin doesn't have any more information about how they would react to him coming out than he did before.

Then Richard says "Well I'm gay". And everyone turns around to him and is like "huh?". Except for Colin. Colin doesn't turn around. He actually turns more forward. He tilted his head in Richards direction when he started talking. But when he finished his sentence Colin looked straight ahead. And imma be honest here, I'm not really that good at analysing facial expressions, and this might well be me overanalysing. But the way I'm reading what's going on here is the following. Colin actively faces forward to not seem that interested in Richards possible gayness. his eyes also widen and then tart around for a second. Which to me reads as, like, "wait, what? could there actually be another queer person on the team?".

I'm not gonna get into Richard actually being possibly gay. Here's a post about that, if you're interested. (Not saying that's what I believe necessarily, but I saw the post and felt it necessary to include)

Then, of course "for Zava". And Colin laughs. But holy shit it's such a fake laugh. Like, I'm serious, watch that scene again and pay attention to Colin's laugh. It it so fake.

While they're talking about "men with charisma that transcends orientation", nothing all that interesting happens.

And then, Colin's joke.

Immediately after he finishes his sentence, he looks anticipating again, in a slightly different way. A short moment of "should I not have said that? Could it give them a hint about me?". Then the others start to laugh and Colin smiles along. He's accomplished his mission. He's blending in. He's a chameleon.

#he's part of the team #but his queerness also isolates him #separates him from them #this is my first ever long post so i'm sorry if it sucks or doesn't make sense #i hope it does tho (make sense that is)#and i hope you can't tell that i'm sleep deprived lol #long post #colin hughes #queer #gay #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso s3 #ted lasso season 3

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td-tbbg-official · 3 months

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VICKIE!!! a lot of questions in one buuut bare with me i love her so much already

how is life with the band? you four still making the best of the celebrity lifestyle? how are the fans treating you?

when did you publicly come out? how did the media take it?

now that you're coming back on the show, are you hoping to rekindle an old flame with a certain someone? 👀

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot of questions indeed, haha!

“The boys and I are still doing very well, both as a band and as a friend group. The fans are great too! They’ve supported us along a very long way, and I can’t just not be thankful for that.

“As for coming out… It was kind of complicated. Figuring yourself out while you’re a celebrity is not fun, I’ll tell you that much. It did give me some courage that I was the last one of the group to do it, though. Trent and Justin started dating a while after World Tour, and they publicly announced it years later – what was it, like, 2010? They were bold, I’ll give them that. And in 2013, news came out that Cody was trans; though, those only got out because he was outed at a concert… Which is a long story.

“Fast forward to 2016, and you’ve got all sorts of queer terms coming out. At first, I identified as genderfluid, but I never told anyone except the boys. I abandoned it when I realized I was really a woman, but still never told fans or family. I said they’d have to find out the hard way – much after my transition.

“So, that was said and done. I went on HRT in 2019 and I underwent speech therapy to try changing my voice, which left some fans wondering, but they generally kept quiet. I was somewhat glad when the pandemic hit because we could cancel our shows and I’d get all the time needed to do my so-called ‘transformation’ behind the scenes.

“We only started doing tours and shows again in 2022, and, by God, that was hilarious. I remember it like it was yesterday: our first show, I just didn’t come on stage for the first songs, and people were shouting for me, like, ‘Where’s Harold? Where’s Harold?’. Cody, the little shit, was dying laughing, and Trent came up all somber like, ‘He died’. I’m not even kidding, the guy actually said I died. I cracked up backstage, and everyone went kind of silent, like, ‘Oh my God, no, he’s joking, he’s gotta be’.

“And then I came out. Literally and in the queer sense. I came from backstage, and got on the stage, and Trent said ‘But we have Vickie now, so it’s all good’, and everyone just looked kind of confused until it just clicked. And so many people started cheering; some started booing, those were quickly escorted outside, I mean, hello, we’re a band full of queers, you didn’t expect me to turn out cishet, surely?

“We came up with more songs after that, many of them based on my experience as a trans woman, and Cody and I’s experiences as trans people in general, we just took a much queerer turn once we knew we could just do it. It’s liberating, to be able to finally be so open about it.

“And for that last question… I’m guessing you mean Leshawna? I mean… Heh… Yeah, I’d like to, like… Get to know her again, see what she’s been up to, but I’m not sure she’s exactly interested in dating me, or anything. I-I mean—not that I’m interested in her in that sense! That would be weird! I haven’t been… thinking about her daily, or anything, wondering where she’s at in life, how she’s doing—nothing like that! Never! Heh! Is it—is it hot in here? Hey, Cody, can you turn on the AC? I think I’m done with the ask, haha…”

coming soon to an AO3 near you.

questions, concerns, suggestions to be deposited in the ask box.

TD: TBBG is written by @canonically47. the blog is entirely run by the writer.

!!! reblogs > likes !!!

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thatmathlesbian · 2 years

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I think when a lot of women say they want to be a guy dating another guy they mean like, they want to be full human people together: they want that place in a narrative. They want to be seen and treated that way and to see and treat themselves that way. And they just aren’t seeing being a woman as having dignity. Now that is a problem but I wouldn’t say it is just coming from within these women. The notion in the first place of women as lesser and less interesting, less human, less complex, less intense, less meaningful… is coming from multiple places in culture and society and people in their lives I would say.

It’s a bad cope for sure especially when: the women doing it don’t notice or accept that’s why they are doing it, and, 2, more than one thing can be going on and they can be doing it for this reason AND be participating in a culture of fetishizing gayness and m/m couples in a dehumanizing way. It sometimes also feels like “paying the dehumanization we feel and experience forward” which is not good. But it does usually give me a start to trying to reason with a woman or girl doing this. I have had friends get into it and time and again I have to get to the root of her insecurity with what it is to be female in this world AND get her to fully see gay men as real, human people whose sexuality is not “nastier (allegedly complimentary)” or “more sexual” than women’s or het couples to get her to completely move on and treat writing and relating m/m as a normal author writing characters different from herself thing and not a fetish, personal sexual interest thing.

tbh this has nothing to do with misogyny

women, especially cishet women for this point, need to understand that being in a mlm relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows as some media shows. it's really similar to how straight women will be like i will become a lesbian as soon as a guy breaks their heart. being in a queer relationship brings hardships and straight women will never get it because they will never go through it. so no, i cannot excuse them that it's due to misogyny because mlm experience other shit that they don't go through

it's really going back to the whole women not treating mlm as human beings and the whole gay best friend thing. they see one cute mlm couple on tv and suddenly they want to be mlm? (obviously not talking about trans people here btw) queer people have been consuming straight media for decades and finally we get something for ourselves and they have to make it about them

and a lot of people talking about this completely ignore how queer women are an issue too. yes, lesbians too.

i get it we don't really get wholesome wlw rep but that doesnt make it okay to obsess over mlm. look at any mlm ship fandom, it's mostly women.

i saw this one tiktok of this gay guy who was talking about how mlm knows when a mlm ship is being queer baited and when not and how most of the popular non canon "queerbaited" mlm ships arent actually. people just dont know how to see a close friendship between two men

it's literal fetishisation of mlm. if a man were to say he wants to be a girl loving a girl everyone would understand the issue immediately, but when it's women doing it everyone runs to defend them

i am not mlm, i am a genderfluid lesbian. i am just forwarding stuff many many many other mlm have said before me but everyone chooses to ignore

just listen to the people that are saying you are offending their group

#also ngl anon im confused by your ask idk if you agreed with my point or not #this is just me explaining my point just in case #also as i said i am not mlm if any mlm says that smth i said is wrong lmk and ill take it down #i was trying to explain all the stuff ive been seeing lately

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mariaiscrafting · 3 years

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no, you know what, I’m going to stop vague’ing on the dash. my anger is about to get extremely direct and enraged, so fair warning, but I don’t care about anyone’s comfort right now. I’m going to get fucking mad, and you all will fucking deal.

not a single one of us has the right, or should even have the option, to guess about ccs’ sexualities. I’ve kept my mouth shut when it comes to people analyzing george/dream and guessing they’re some kind of queer, but I’m fucking done. I’m going to go into every single reason “truthing” about ccs’ sexualities is just so beyond fucked.

first of all, this is in response specifically to ranboo and tubbo truthing. being a kid and getting thrown into such a massive spotlight, where you will undoubtedly be subject to some fuck shit eventually because the internet is full of thousands upon thousands of people, is already terrifying and anxiety-inducing and damaging enough. but for their own audiencemembers - their own supposed fucking “fans” - to take it one step further and speculate about their sexualities? oh, for the love of god. I can barely believe I even have to explain how fucked that is. it is one thing to be friends with or close to someone in real life and recognize your own queer struggle in them, to approach them with sympathy and support in case they are questioning. it is another thing entirely to speculate about the sexuality of someone you don’t even know, and to then take it a step further and “truth” about your fucking theories. you are not an expert, you are not their friend, and you are not a fucking oracle. you can guess all you want about a cc’s sexuality, you can comment on how their actions or behaviors or words resonate with you when you were questioning or closeted, but to go ahead and take your own speculation as truth is arrogant, presumptous, and damaging as all hell.

I can just imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d grown an online platform that ripped me of my privacy when I was a teenager and trying to figure out my own sexuality. if I had a section of my audience analyzing my every social media post, the inflection in my voice and the nature of my laughs, my every interaction with my best friend, you know what I would’ve done? retreated so far into the closet that I would probably have tricked myself into thinking I was heterosexual. I would’ve been so fucking terrified and felt so stripped of any privacy or control I had over my own goddamn thoughts; do you understand how fucking vile that is? have none of you ever been terrified of giving away your own sexuality through your mannerisms and facial expressions and words, while you were closeted? have none of you ever experienced that utter fucking terror when you notice someone start to question your sexuality, the immediate urge to retreat and back up and act and believe the complete opposite just to prove them wrong and go back to the safety and security of them believing you were straight? for fuck’s sake, now imagine that feeling amplified a hundred fold, applied not just to one instance or one person in your life, but to thousands. do y’all not understand just how a) morally fucked it is to inflict this same kind of practice onto someone you supposedly care about and support, and b) potentially psychologically damaging this could be to ccs who are closeted, especially the fucking minors? oh my fucking god.

that isn’t even to point out why people do this shit - which is to project and find solace and derive some kind of enjoyment out of cc’s. that’s what cc’s are there for; they are entertainers, first and foremost, which continues outside of streams and bleeds into fandom culture and the kind of enjoyment fans can make out of interacting with other fans and creating their own fan content. the problem with this fact is that fans take it too far, like 85% of the time. cc’s aren’t just there for our own enjoyment. they are fucking people, oh my lord. they are real people that we will never know, and while we may have our fun with our little theories and talking to other fans and making and watching cute compilations and writing fanfiction and making fanart, we are just deriving entertainment from the parts of themselves they choose to show us. that persona they put on for the stream, that is not 100% them. they are real, rounded, 3-d, full people who we only ever get the privilege of witnessing a small sliver of. and we need to fucking remember that, because we can’t just keep running with the ideas of ccs that we have in our heads and treating them like they’re malleable characters for our own entertainment.

anyways, specifically about truthing (and mind you, this is the point in the rant where a little of my anger starts to seep out because I’m tired and it’s 1:40 AM and I have class tomorrow): there’s so many things that can be said about gaydar. I’m not here to argue whether or not it exists, or the details of the morality of straight versus non-straight people engaging in the practice of truthing. I’m just here to say that, even if you believe gaydar exists and can be accurate when employed by non-straight people, that still only applies to people you fucking know. what you see of a cc is not “getting to know” them. what you are seeing is one face of a multi-faceted jewel, cut in far more ways that you can ever hope to one day perceive. your theories are just those - theories. whatever you might think of the giggles you heard or the pickup lines you saw uttered or the softness you imagine between x and y, human interaction is far too complex and laced with meaning for some rando on the internet who watches youtube videos and twitch streams to fully grasp from two entertainers working from behind a screen. your gaydar is not going to fucking work through a screen, fuck off with that shit.

another thing that’s fucking bothering me so much is this assumption that comes with being at all open about queerness when you yourself are not queer. ik this is just one of the many factors “truthers” use to justify the findings of their totally infallible, prophetic gaydar, but it’s a factor nonetheless, and it bothers the fuck outta me. someone being willing to express support for lgbt people or donate to lgbt chairities or open to conversations with other lgbt people about lgbt endeavors is not evidence of queerness. to say that it is contributes to the harmful belief that cishets still have that they cannot be any of those things - that is, exceedingly open about and to queerness - without being perceived as queer themselves.

anyways, and now we are at the bottom line, which is that, this entire conversation wouldn’t even have to be had if people just fucking listened to cc boundaries. ranboo and tubbo do not like being shipped. it is that fucking simple. i know that it is tempting to ship two people you think are cute together. i know it is tempting to indulge in a dynamic you find comforting. but idgaf. temptation is not an excuse. find some fictional characters to ship, and kindly fuck off.

#ranboo #mcyt #dream smp #tubbo #look. when it comes to this subject #i am not pulling any punches. i am sorry and ik i was criticized last time for being too harsh w the dream thing #but yk what? im going to be fucking harsh. there are some things i will have civil conversations about no matter how much i disagree #but this is not one of them. this infuriates me beyond belief and im not fucking going to shut up about it #lgbt #lgbtq #/neg #discourse #.txt #100+#500+

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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👀 mcc discourse? /gen

okay mcc discourse time everyone strap in

the three things i see people being pissed about most often are the lack of lgbt+ people in the event, the specific lgbt+ creators playing and, of course, technoblade being involved. so, let's break down why all three of these things are fucking dumb.

1) "there isnt enough lgbt+ creators".

this would be a fair argument that i could get behind...if not for the way mcc is set up for this specific event—and by that i mean it is a youtube sponsored event. the ccs involved need to have platforms on youtube to be able to participate to begin with, as it is a charity event. mcc doesn't have a lot of lgbt+ streamers involved this time around because a lot of those streamers straight up could not stream this event and scott literally said this himself.

on top of that, this isnt a "get invited and you can play!" event, it is a "you need to apply to be involved" event, meaning, if people dont meet the deadline, or they dont apply at fucking all, they cant play. that's not on fucking scott or anyone organizing mcc, that is on the ccs (if they even wanna be involved, i could not blame them for avoiding mcc after last times mess) who didnt apply in time/at all.

2) "there isnt enough diversity in the lgbt+ streamers" aka "im erasing people's identities and, again, disregarding the literal qualifications for this mcc which include having a youtube platform"

i keep seeing people bring up how every lgbt+ person in mcc is white and able bodied and neurotypical etc etc (which is an inaccurate statement anyways) as reasons why they "arent good enough" or they're bringing up how there "isnt any of [x] sexuality/gender involved" as if that's the organizers faults and i uh. i hate to break it to yall but, again, this is an apply to get in event. if these ccs that were "more diverse" (bc why the fuck are we referring to these ccs playing in fucking minecraft championship as some weird ass diversity characters instead of real life people who are more than their race, disability, etc.) met the requirements and were lgbt+ but just didnt apply, while a lot of other white, cis, neurotypical, able bodied, whatever the fuck else, did? yeah. nobody can change that. scott didnt just pick and chose who gets to play, there are literal rules for this event and also applications that are involved like?? hello????? and obviously i would love to see some more lgbt+ creators from different backgrounds with different identities in the cast, that would be awesome, but that is ultimately not up to the organizers. they cant force people to play. they cant skip people in the waiting lists. they can't have people who cant stream be involved in this mcc as their first event, both because it would be sad for them not to stream their first mcc and because it is a literal charity event.

and, to make things worse, a lot of people are saying there "isnt any trans people this mcc" which is just. a blatant lie. eret isnt cis and sqiashey is genderfluid, yall just dont like eret so you decide to refer to her as a "cis man" constantly, which is transphobic, and yall also dont know sqiashey so instead of doing research, you started running ur mouths and then didn't apologize when you got called on it.

like. even if eret was truly problematic, which i dont believe they are as they have apologized for every little mistake theyve made and dealt with the backlash from entitled little privileged teenagers online all while not complaining even the slightest bit, that still doesnt give you a right to misgender them and erase their identity as a non cis person entirely because you're mad over a fucking minecraft event like??? how fucking privileged you must be that this is what gets you heated. not any actual homophobia or transphobia, but apparently "lgbt+ people in minecraft not being diverse enough". choke.

3) "technoblade is a lesphobe, why is he in mcc"

tw on this section: i discuss my expierences with homophobia as an afab nblw briefly and reclaim the d slur (if you wanna read this section and avoid the homophobia discussion and/or d slur, skip from "as someone who is nblw" to "techno making a shitty joke").

all of techno's lesphobic comments are from 5+ years ago and were, at worst, jokes in poor taste. as someone who is nblw, i have had men follow me and my friend around and call us dykes for holding hands in a museum, i have had my family members harrass me for my sexuality and casually talk about how im gross and wrong for liking girls and i have been punished by literal teachers for showing "too much pda" with my past girlfriends despite the fact that ive never even kissed someone on campus before, just held hands and hugged. techno making some shitty jokes when he was a teenager years ago, while also having a plethora of examples of him being an lgbt+ ally, which does include lesbians, should not be treated the same way as literal bigots calling queer people slurs. and if you think it should be, you have had it fucking lucky.

yes, it is valid to be upset over these jokes, they're fucking weird and he shouldnt have made them, but to treat it with the exact same seriousness as a grown ass adult showing blatant homophobia in current times? no. fuck no.

extra notes bc there's some minor discourse points i left out: no, dream team shouldnt get to be involved in this event over other cishet ccs involved just because they have bigger platforms because this quite literally isnt about them, it's about lgbt+ people and they just didnt happen to get in. shut the fuck up. stop mentioning ant and velvet as people who shouldve been involved, they're quite literally together rn doing little daytrips and shit and they most likely dont wanna spend their time together playing fucking minecraft. also, stop saying techno should be replaced with ranboo (or anyone for that matter), it breaks ranboo's fucking boundaries and him donating 100k to the trevor project doesnt suddenly mean he gets to skip the mcc waiting list.

in conclusion: twitter stop whining over pride mcc, your privilege is showing.

(tagging @tauntwenthome bc you said you wanted to hear as well <3)

#mcc #technoblade #mcyt fandom critical #dsmp fandom critical #fandom critical #discourse #this was hard to write bc this situation is a pain in the ass to explain ajsksk #like specifically the 2nd section i kept rewriting and i still think it sounds confusing but whatever #mcyt #mcytblr #ask to tag #shit self #ok to rb #asks #ghcstbvr #magnus tag 💭#bangerz

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

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I find it really intriguing how the ATLA writers could have gone a “brotherly love” route with Zuko and Aang, but they never did. Even in LOK, the only thing that I remember Iroh saying about their relationship was that they canonically became the best of friends and that Zuko knew Aang better than anyone, even more than Katara and their children. I find the direction of their relationship a contrast to how often the bond between the male protagonist and the male antagonist that are spiritually linked in other media is reduced to “they were like brothers” and put aside for the respective heterosexual romances of the leads, even though the relationships between the leads often have homoerotic subtext and can be interpreted through a queer lens. I guess what I’m wondering is: would you classify Zuko and Aang’s relationship as brotherly? Do you support interpretations where their relationship is viewed as brotherly? And finally (I’m sorry for all of the questions): why do you think the ATLA writers - who seem to mostly be composed of cishet men - never took the “brotherly love” route and left the nature of their relationship ambiguous?

This ask has been in my inbox for a Hot Minute 💀 my apologies, my friend. And since I haven’t seen LOK, I won’t try to speak on the front. Before I continue, though, @likealittleheartbeat has an AMAZING analysis here about the interpretation of Aang and Zuko’s relationship through a queer-platonic lens that I found to be an incredible read and arguably could answer this ask on its own, lol!

I guess the general “issue” that must be addressed to answer these questions is simply how we define brotherly. That “we” can be divided into the viewers and the writers, only adding another layer of complexity. Because the reality is that we can’t jump into the creators minds and see exactly how they intended Zuko and Aang’s relationship to be interpreted. We can make deductions, e.g. the existence of Kataang and Maiko suggests Zuko and Aang were not intended to have a romantic relationship within canon (duh, lol). In fact, you could even add another division to the “we” - the writers, the viewers, and the characters themselves (i.e. interpretation through the cultural lenses that inspired the show).

All of this is to say that there is not going to be one agreed-upon definition of “brotherly,” lol! Since you seem to be asking for my personal opinions, I’ll go with my personal definition. If anyone has differing thoughts in response to these questions, please feel free to add them in a comment or rb! I think there’s a lot to explore here and my sole opinion is Not the be-all and end-all, lmao.

So, what is my personal definition of “brotherly”? I’m not going to try to make a formal definition, lol, but the gist of my interpretation is a platonic relationship akin to that of siblings. To me, there is a difference between having a “brotherly relationship” with someone versus a “friendship” (I almost used “friendly relationship” but that didn’t feel right jskdfhakdls). I think these two can overlap and/or be the same, but - for example - I have friends who I would say without hesitation that I am incredibly close with, but I also would not classify that friendship as “sisterly.” (Again, these are strictly my personal thoughts, and I encourage further discussion in comments/rbs!)

I’ll take your questions one at a time:

Would you classify Zuko and Aang’s relationship as brotherly?

Personally? Probably not. To me, there is a sense of superficiality associated with the term “brotherly” that in my eyes can be reductive to platonic relationships between men (can be, not always lol). I think with Zuko and Aang, the relationship just runs much deeper than “brotherly” can connote. For one, they are the primary narrative foils of the show! The only relationship that comes close to theirs in terms of narrative significance is Kataang (which is a very different dichotomy, btw, I’m not trying to compare them lol). We have numerous episodes dedicated to the parallels between Aang and Zuko, including but not limited to “The Storm” and “The Avatar and the Fire Lord.” I mean, this is an actual quote from the latter episode:

Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?

We see variants of this line and the notion of friendship itself associated throughout that episode explicitly with Roku and Sozin, Roku and Gyatso, and of course the Gaang at the end, but implicitly we also know it’s about Aang and Zuko, too. Aang says, “Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation, have to be treated like they’re worth giving a chance.” One common take with this line that I’ve seen is interpreting it as foreshadowing for Aang’s decision to spare Ozai - which obviously is a fair assessment - but we cannot also ignore how much it applies to Zuko joining the Gaang. Specifically, Zuko reconciling with Aang.

We all know Aang was the first person to extend friendship to Zuko back in “The Blue Spirit” and tbh, after he saw Appa licking Zuko, you can tell Aang was nearly willing to extend a second chance to Zuko then and there lol. Aang and Zuko’s friendship, them being drawn together, is a relationship that transcends lifetimes, transcends social norms/expectations, transcends a loss greater than anyone can imagine (for Aang) and offers a new opportunity arguably far more than deserved (for Zuko). I think ascribing a qualifier of “brotherly” to their relationship therefore limits this transcendence because of how much their dynamic encompasses.

Do you support interpretations where their relationship is viewed as brotherly?

Of course! One of the reasons I love A:TLA - especially my small corner of the fandom - is how many interpretations that every relationship presents, be it a small “difference” (such as calling Zuko and Aang’s relationship “brotherly”) or a more drastic one (exploring fanon possibilities with rarepairs, let’s go #AangRarepairWeek 😎). So even if this interpretation isn’t one I’m inclined to in the literal sense (i.e. it’s the “brotherly” qualifier I feel I dislike, because I do love platonic Zukaang as much as romantic Zukaang), I absolutely encourage others to make the most of their fandom experience and product/support content that they enjoy!

Why do you think the ATLA writers - who seem to mostly be composed of cishet men - never took the “brotherly love” route and left the nature of their relationship ambiguous?

I will say that we don’t really have any way of knowing the sexualities and gender identities of every single A:TLA writer, lol. I’m not saying they were all queer in some way, of course, but I just want to establish that we don’t and can’t know unless told. If that makes sense 😂

As I mentioned earlier, I have no way of getting inside the writers’ minds to determine their intentions when they were writing Zuko and Aang’s relationship, so all you’re gonna get here are my best guesses lmao! For one, there wasn’t really a need to outright label Zuko and Aang as having a “brotherly” relationship. The existence of Kataang and Maiko again speak for themselves. Most viewers - especially casual watchers - don’t need the show to state “these two only love each other in a brotherly way” to conclude that the relationship was platonic (or rather, was not romantic), especially considering that the show was made in the mid-2000s (i.e. sad but true, most people weren’t watching A:TLA with a queer lens 😔). So I wouldn’t say they left the relationship “ambiguous” so much as there wasn’t need to qualify it further than simply being platonic.

Of course, I do think there is an ambiguity that comes with Aang and Zuko’s relationship, which I love to exploit in my Zukaang fics 😌. Was that ambiguity intentional? Again, I’m inclined to say no. But I can’t speak with certainty and - as I discussed earlier - I truly think Aang and Zuko’s relationship would be limited by being called “brotherly” when their connection runs so deeply and is intertwined so heavily with the spiritual themes of the show. Thus, it’s possible the writers were purposefully emphasizing that spirituality by not labelling them as “brotherly”! But as I said, there’s really no way to be sure.

At the end of the day, I don’t think it matters how someone chooses to label Aang and Zuko’s relationship. I mean, I’m always a little horrified when a person completely overlooks their narrative significance as foils (because I personally can’t imagine dismissing either of their importance to the other), but hey, to each their own. Brotherly, queerplatonic, romantic, and hell, anything in-between - these interpretations are anyone’s for the taking. Have fun with it! 💛

(I hope this at least kind of resembles the answer you were looking for, anon 😂)

#aang #zuko #aanglove #zukaang #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla meta #the avatar and the firelord #amy answers #anon #amy analyzes

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years

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treat people with kindness - a close reading

when i want to feel blissfully happy, i put on this song. when i want to happy cry, i play the music video. have i stated enough times by now how much every single song on this album means to me? yeah i wasn’t kidding. just writing this post almost brought me to tears in a good way i promise. oh harry, what you do to me

fine line, track 11

[Intro]

Maybe, we can

Find a place to feel good

And we can treat people with kindness

Find a place to feel good

“we”: harry and the listeners, the fans, the band, etc.

“we can treat people with kindness”: encouraging everyone to be more kind and positive, including himself: softer message, not “i’m telling you all to do this” + reminding himself to keep doing it

focus on a place: we know who we are, we feel good about ourselves, but not every place allows for that happiness — inherently queer experience — we need to find a place where we can be fully ourselves

doesn’t need to be literal place, just like a family doesn’t need to be blood relatives - a place where you belong can simply be among those that make you feel at home, those who have your back, those who accept you

[Verse 1]

I’ve got a good feeling

I’m just taking it all in

Floating up and dreaming

Dropping into the deep end

“I” is the center, talking for himself now

faith in the future - things are changing - dreaming of a brighter future

harry’s (finally) enjoying the moment, taking that leap of faith and giving in entirely (to what’s to come)

～ lights up “i’m not ever going back”

[Pre-Chorus]

And if we're here long enough

They’ll sing a song for us

And we’ll belong

if we stand our ground, stay true to who we are and what we believe in, eventually we’ll find that place, that acceptance

persist until we’ve been accepted by “them” - the gp? cishets? industry heads? ...?

we will belong, we don’t yet - but until then, we can have our own spaces of kindness and acceptance (⟶ gay bars, etc.)

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

Giving (/given?) second chances

I don’t need all the answers

Feeling good in my skin

I just keep on dancing

summary of the album: love is thriving, second chances have been given; not all has been conquered or solved, but that’s okay bc “some things we’ll never know”; h feels good in his skin after struggling deeply with that; he’s stepped into the light and celebrating everything

acceptance of the unsure in life, love, self

- he sings, on stage of a famous gay club

[Pre-Chorus]

And if we’re here long enough

We’ll see it’s all for us

And we’ll belong

what is all for us? the world? - if we stick around long enough, we’ll be accepted and treated kindly in all places, not just the safe spaces we’ve created for ourselves

[Bridge]

And it's just another day (And it's just another day)

And if our friends all pass away (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

It's okay (It's okay, it's okay)

It's okay (It's okay, it's okay, yeah)

Hey!

Here we go now

okay, puzzling.

don’t despair if it’s a bad day - we’ll be alright

“if our friends all pass away”: perhaps reference to AIDS crisis + suicides in community

almost toxically positive - frantic

the struggle is still on - we’re still finding our place and that non-acceptance in other places is causing a lot of pain - but we’ve made it this far, and we’ve always put up a fight (and we’ve done our best to stay positive)

perhaps commentary on how others view the queer community - “but hey you have this one place. and people don’t usually die of aids anymore. so it’s okay, right?! look on the bright side, queen!”

[Outro]

All we ever want is automatic all the time

All we ever want is auto, auto all of the time

we want life to be easy, our problems to be solved by themselves

life on automatic - she - living a thoughtless life, for others more than for yourself - a life led like this, without self-acceptance, is no life at all. all the pain, that comes with figuring out who you are - is worth it in the end

Maybe, we can (All together now, one more time)

Find a place to feel good (Oh yeah)

And we can treat people with kindness (Just a little bit of kindness)

Find a place to feel good (Ow)

engagement with the audience - franticness again - was written first and foremost for the fans and for live performances

SYNTHESIS

Cheer, stand up tall, be happy, proud. Treat People With Kindness is an ode to or even a love song for his fans that came to be after touring that first album and seeing the reality of what most of his fans are: queer babes waving their colors at him. And he waved them back. It's a glorious and genuine thank you from him, for showing him that acceptance and that place where he belongs, every single night.

The lyrics about acceptance - finding that specific place, seeking belonging - are inherently queer. There are some sinister elements in the song, like the part about friends all passing away, which can’t be explained away as meaning anything but literally that. They’re not simply moving on or growing apart. Sure, this could be Harry being clear that his (former) “friends” that weren’t supportive are dead to him now. As this song reads and sounds queer in every other way, my mind jumped to this lyric commemorating the AIDS crisis, queer suicides that are still very common (esp w trans people) and even the killing of queer people all over the world. That “it’s okay” follows such a heavy lyric might be Harry being sarcastic, bc life (on automatic) goes on. It might also be Harry celebrating resilience. It’s very double and it’ll always be a bit puzzling to me. If I don’t hear the song as a loud celebration, I hear that ending as a frantic cry to make it out alive and some kind of parody of mindlessly positive (queer) anthems. i had to make it dark again, didn’t i

That being said, I do really think the core of the message is a celebration of (self-)acceptance and having a community, but with the added point that it never has and never will be without effort, without a struggle.

Harry really didn’t need to make a music video for this song to bring its queerness across but he did it anyway and I love them for it. Yes, babe, scream from the rooftops where you belong!! !!! When I first saw it I couldn't believe my fucking eyes. I am being absolutely genuine when I say this video makes me cry almost every time. Maybe I should stop watching it at 3 in the morning, but that’s besides the point. It was filmed in a famous gay venue and features Harry D A N C I N G !!! and HOW. Still amazed by it all. We have Phoebe Waller-Bridge as club manager, it seems, with the gentlest of dismissals of The Man at the very start of the video. The dancers in every single scene underline how that club is a place where everyone is free to express their individuality without fearing judgment. Phoebe is in practically the same outfit as Harry is, as the only other person in the venue. Although the video is in black and white, bts photos have revealed that Phoebe and Harry’s costumes had lilac details. and yk, lilac is a nice mix of pink and light blue. What differentiates them is her ruffled blouse and red lipstick, his bow tie, and different jacket styles. But even their hair looks the same, and their nails match, of course.

Now, okay. Harry The Performer is on stage, where he loves to be. Phoebe is socialising, but before she gets the chance to sit down properly, Harry invites her on stage and they break into a synchronised dance routine together. Things of note:

before they start dancing, they remove their jackets, which were the main differentiating elements between them - they are truly each other’s mirror now

Harry throws off the bow tie, removing his last typically “masculine” clothing item

Phoebe dances as the lead, finally finishing the routine by dipping Harry like the perfect ballroom dancers they are

Phoebe smirks into the camera like she’s in on it (Kiwi flashbacks)

I interpret this as a happier and very literal showing of what Harry was telling us in Lights Up: here I am, on stage, where I want to be, but now I’ve finally pulled all that I am on stage with me, and removed some of the bullshit that wasn't me anyway. I am all of this. The line between Harry and Phoebe is so blurred it doesn't exist anymore, and in the end Phoebe is staring into our souls while Harry is panting in her arms, dazed. If we want to draw the parallel with Kiwi properly here, we can say Phoebe has fully taken Harry’s place at the end.

Very interesting, too, are Phoebe's stories about how she identified as a boy when she was a kid, and everyone called her Alex up until puberty hit and she called herself Phoebe again bc she “discovered boys,” had a crush on one boy and decided he wouldn’t like her being so “boyish.” (Read the article linked, it’s honestly very revealing. She literally says that if the option would have been laid out to her when she was younger to transition, she would have “jumped” at it.)

For Harry to choose someone like that as his mirror image is telling. It's loud. Deafening, tbh.

Treat People With Kindness is Harry telling us he’s found that place where he belongs, and that he finds it over and over again in the community. Here is where he knows people will treat him with kindness and accept his queerness. Gender roles have been thrown out the window and what remains is a celebration of self and togetherness. And that, one day, we’ll all belong.

read all my lyric analyses here

#treat people with kindness #tpwk #lyric analysis #my posts #lp #oh i always have to go a lil dark don't i #but what else is that line doing there??????#other than that this song truly truly is a celebration #but yeah a closeted gay is allowed to throw in a bitter lyric here and there #can you blame them????#death tw #suicide tw

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ilikedetectives · 3 years

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Thanks for saying it. As a trans woman I was side-eyeing that hashtag the moment I read the “movement explained” post last year saying this:

That wording (from the most prominent voice!) directly implies that there’s an acceptable criteria for womanhood and women outside those criteria don’t count. This kind of thinking always ends up targeting gnc cis women too because they’re not the “right” women, no surprise it happened here. (Apparently a gay cis man is more worth defending to them than gnc and sapphic women too?)

Plus a quick google search would easily tell them Kassandra and Eivor were envisioned as “masculine” as they are now even before the male options were designed? Official ACV concept art for Eivor’s character design even states lady Eivor was designed first and that male Eivor was based off of HER. But sure they’re “shells” based on men 🙄

Looks like they’ve chosen to “highlight, appreciate and support” the fact that queer, gnc women aren’t real women because these women are simply men’s “shells” for being masculine and queer.

Oh I’m so glad that you see this and stay tf away. Aren’t these the same breed that were sooooo outraged after reading and citing that Forbes article by Jason Schreier last year, “OMG Kassandra and Aya/Amunet originally were supposed to be the protagonist, I’m so oUTraGEd and feel rOBbeD that Ubisoft took this from us”? You’d think with all the devs that they are good friends with, they should know by now that Kassandra and f!Eivor were designed first in mind, then the male counterparts were added AFTER being forced by higher-ups and marketing. The Montreal writers keep having to reassure people that everything about Eivor is intentional and they have always intended that Eivor is a female. The first name alone, Eivor, is a female name. I think the devs already know they’d have to deal with idiots, so they added Varinsdottir in her last name (dottir means “daughter”), but I think the devs still underestimate their level of stupidity. They sure are attentive to plot details when it involves their brotherhood though, but women? *wheeze* They love AC2 sfm but it didn’t take them until last year to realize how dirty Aya/Amunet treated. Nobody paused when Origins was announced to say, but Amunet statue? Pleaseeee *wheeze* For them to go around saying that Kass and f!Eivor are just “shells” based on men and now, practically calling the devs lazy because making them masculine to save time/effort in development time really shows their true colors. If a woman isn’t slim-af-and-only-attracted-to-cishet men, then they’re not women. gnc, queer, trans women? I don’t need to take a guess to see what they view these women as. These fake feminists don’t find it disrespectful that Kass and f!Eivor are pushed aside for the male shells to take the spotlight, but they find Kass and f!Eivor being masculine and queer disrespectful. Someone please turn on “Send in the Clowns'' for me, I prefer the Judi Dench version.

You know what I find hypocritical about these fake feminist breeds? When they call for more female assassins content, they never once invalidate their beloved male protags, “We’re not here to cancel m!Eivor/Alexios/Bayek/Jacob/Arno, we just want more of f!Eivor/Kassandra/Amunet/Evie/Elise/Aveline”, but now that they have more backers, they immediately turn around and dismiss the only two AAA female protags as women because they’re “too masculine, like men.” That’s right! f!Eivor walking like a man and both Kass and f!Eivor wear male armors and are attracted to women automatically dismiss their existence as gnc, queer women. Being a masculine, queer woman somehow exempt them both from sexism because these two are just “men’s shells”? What kinda Isu drugs are they on? Now I wish f!Eivor had a true buff Viking body in her vanilla state (I know there’s muscles mod by amisthiosintraining and I, but still), because what else are these fake feminists gonna trash her on? f!Eivor is a shell for m!Eivor? *wheeze* What could’ve been said was, “I want a female-protag-only game because then the devs can focus all their time and effort on her story, for her” or “Ubisoft should give the devs more time, resources, and creative freedom to give players more historical context of the struggles the female protags have to deal with, compared to male protags”. For example: a side quest with Aspasia as she deals with how sexist people (surprise, women can be sexist too) were towards her as perhaps the most educated, influential woman in Athens at the time. Or how Kassandra had to fight her way to be allowed to compete in the Olympics. That’s all that’s needed to be said. There’s nothing wrong with asking/wanting a feminine female protag who is gender-conforming, but it says a lot about their true view of women when they drag gnc and queer women down to parade their idea of a superior woman.

But what did these fake feminists choose to “highlight, appreciate and support” instead? Oh that’s right, disregarding both Kassandra and f!Eivor as inferior women, because them fakers don’t deemed masculinity and queerness as the aUThenTIc female experience they want to play as. You know what’s worse? Pitting these female characters together to rate how “feminine” each of them are to deem which ones are more “real” as a woman. Can you imagine them doing that to the male protags? Knowing full well that the devs’ hands were tied when it comes to creative freedom when making Kassandra and f!Eivor, but still go around and shit on the devs for being “lazy”, while dismissing Kassandra f!Eivor experience as women because of their gnc and queerness. What kinda Beta Sigma (BS) is this? Oh I think I know the answer: reinforcing their ideas of what they find acceptable for their version of a woman. Honestly, it’s not the first time gnc, queer women are shit on in AC, remember that cursed DLC from Odyssey? Yea. I expect nothing more from Ubisoft-certified fans. Watch, if we somehow get a female-lead AAA game next installment and she happens to be queer, gnc, and godforbid to their fEMinISt standards, she happens to be trans as well, these fakers would most likely scream, “We support women. We want the REAL woman experience”. But if she happens to conform into their fEMinISt standards, you’ll get to hear how she’s their most favorite protag since Ezio cuz she’s a “real woman”. Again, nothing wrong with gender-conforming, feminine women, but using them as THE superior example, this fuckery/fakery reeks.

One last general tip from Doctor Who, “Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward.” Look closely and you’ll see what those advantages and rewards are.

p/s: Didn’t Ubisoft CEO just appoint his family member(s) to be in charge, while there were also discussion on how the new directors are no better than the sexist, racist ones that were fired/let-go? Sounds to me like it’s business as usual again. Or us Vietnamese have a saying, “It’s easier for rivers and mountains to change than human’s nature to even budge” (giang sơn dễ đổi, bản tính khó dời). I find it so ironic that “gaslight gatekeep girlboss” is trending on my dash.

#I'm no Pythia but I saw this light years away #handsomejaclyn #f!Eivor #Eivor #Kassandra #ac valhalla #ac odyssey #aya #amunet #evie frye #elise #ac origins #ac syndicate #aveline #ac liberation #ac unity #Cisterhood #misogynistic feminists

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sidecarghost · 3 years

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My Reaction to Destiel in Spn 15x18 to 15x20

Notes: this will contain spoilers for up to series finale 15x20.

I am in LGBTQ+, and this is my personal opinion on the treatment of Destiel, Dean, and Castiel in episodes 15x18-15x20. The LGBTQ+ community is complex and varied, just like any community, so I do not intend for my views to be seen as representative. I think any reaction is just as valid as mine.

Castiel’s Declaration and Dean’s Response

I personally thought Misha Collins’ performance of Castiel’s declaration of love was earnest and authentic. It was beautiful, and I loved every word of it. What bothered me about 15x18 was Dean not reciprocating. I understand that love doesn’t always work out, but this is a LGBTQ+ relationship. There are so few LGBTQ+ relationships on tv, so it’s difficult to understand why anyone would see the need to add an unfulfilled LGBTQ+ relationship that leaves the queer character unloved. LGBTQ+ are just as worthy to be loved as cishet. Before this viewers could use their imagination, but now it’s pretty final that Dean never thought of Cas as more than a friend, and that Dean is vaguely to deeply disturbed by his BFF being in love with him.

I think 15x20 tried to firmly establish Dean as cishet (retconning any prior subtextual queer coding) by having Dean show more affection to his car joining him in Heaven then he had to his LGBTQ+ friend near death. I hate that Dean is so cold to Cas during that declaration scene, and then no other insight into Dean’s feelings is ever shown. So we can only infer Dean’s feelings from that scene and the reaction reads confused, disturbed, shocked, and disbelieving. And I feel second hand crushed for Castiel. That would not be a happy moment for me at all. Just because Dean doesn’t feel any attraction to Castiel I don’t think that excuses his coldness during the declaration. This was a heartless way to react to a close queer friends admittance to an attraction, and the cold shoulder reaction seems really OOC for Dean.

Dean is typically much more sensitive about other people’s feelings. I know he is often painted as tough and unfeeling, but that’s really when his own feelings are in question. Usually he seems very in tune when someone else needs emotional support, and here he is just like mentally checking out. Dean appears to be thinking “Oh my BFF is confessing his love, I will just gawk at him like he is some kind of crazy.” Then Dean’s last words to Castiel are “Don’t do this, Cas,” because he’d like his final message to be invalidating. And then there is HUGE problem that Dean was so disturbed by Cas’s declaration that he never mentions it over the course of 15x19 and 15x20. Even though his friend gave his life for him.

Bad Representation more Harmful than No Representtion

I could be wrong, but I feel like the inclusion of Destiel this late in the game just to make it unrequited was malicious. And that’s because Destiel is a big thing for fandom and especially LGBTQ+ in fandom. Even non-Spn fandom LGBTQ+ know all about Destiel. I never dreamed the ship would go canon, and that was fine because the show could play out and I could read and write fic. Destiel was a fun ship, because the characters had wonderful development from the show, and the actors had great chemistry and were good looking and talented. Dean and Cas were complex and multi-dimensional and ready to run a coffeehouse or become pop star wannabes in a televised singing contest.

The show never told fans Dean and Cas wouldn’t love each other, so it was so easy for me to imagine they would love each other. That has changed since I watched the finale. I personally can’t ship Destiel anymore because all I remember now is the angel giving the hunter his heart, and Dean being so cold and uncaring. Dean stays so far away from Cas like he can’t stand to be close to him. When the two characters used to be in each other’s personal space all the time. It’s like the show wanted me to know how wrong I was to ever read a romance there. As though I had personally offended Dean Winchester. I always thought Dean could be bi, but now he is canon cishet to me. Because if he was going to be attracted to a guy it’d be Cas, because he is the most badass character on show. I’m okay with explanation that Dean was shell shocked in 15x18, but Dean’s continued indifference in 15x20 makes it more likely to me that the show intended for Dean to just not feel that way about Cas.

LGBTQ+ Character Erased

The show ended 10 days ago, but many LGBTQ+ spn fandom members are still reeling from Castiel’s erasure from the story as soon as he came out. There was so much hope that the show was giving LGBTQ+ fandom a ship they never expected in 15x18. The way everything seemed to signal that Dean and Cas would be brought back together in 15x20. And theories abounded on possible scenarios. My personal favorite was Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty in 15x20 as a reverse of Castiel rescuing Dean from Hell in 4x01. This felt historic to see an actual fandom mlm ship finally get validated on the show, like LGBTQ+ were being seen and told we were just as valid as cishet by the show we loved.

But in the end, the LGBTQ+ relationship was just a tease. A queer angel declared his love and died. Then Dean died so he’d never get chance to process his feelings (if he had any). Dean and the viewers learned Cas had been saved, but Dean never bothered to pray to Cas or make any other attempt to reconnect with him. Had Cas escaped before Dean’s death? Had Cas just let Dean die? We never find out. Whether intentional or not, Castiel no longer had any significance in the life or death of the man he loved so strongly. If you related to Cas the exemption was a gut punch. I saw Cas as important and he was my voice and my story, and then 15x20 had Castiel as unimportant to the story and he was silenced.

The Bury your Gay trope

Cas had come out, and now his last scene was his death. Castiel was written out of the show, and no one seemed willing to give him more than a passing thought. The series regular and reoccurring character of 12 years was treated like he was never very important to Dean or Sam. This wasn’t historic, this is the “bury your gay” trope and a real problem for LGBTQ+ representation in movies and shows.

Negative impact of teasing LGBTQ+ romance in movies and shows

15x18 didn’t just feature Cas coming out, his coming out could have been handled just like Chuck’s in season 11 by dialogue stating he liked guys too. Castiel’s coming out was part of a declaration of love to his best friend. This teased a possible LGBTQ+ romance between two male leads with no intention of follow through. Heteronormative fans can state my perspective was invalid, but I’d like to challenge them to see LGBTQ+ as just as valid and normal as cishet romance.

If unintentional:

this was insensitive and bad representation

If intentional:

at best queer baiting (Dean was cishet so any fans that thought reciprocation was possible were wrong. Never mind all the subtextual queer coding of Dean that non-heteronormative viewers had observed.)

at worst outright homophobia (if you read Dean as a closeted bisexual that is fridged before he has chance to come out)

The Intention of C* Spn?

I have to wonder what the LGBTQ+ in Spn fandom ever did to make the show runners so mad at us. I would really like to get the perspective of the show runners, because without that, it is just too easy to believe the worst.

Perceiving the Finale Message of We don’t Belong

And the worst is heart wrenching. The marginalized members of fandom that related to the outcast angel were excluded from the Winchester’s ending. Even though we cared about them so much over the years. Many members of fandom had found families, and were validated by the reoccurring theme that family doesn’t end in blood.

But the finale retconned that message. Castiel was queer, and he was erased. He wasn’t a part of Sam and Dean’s ending. Fandom that related to Castiel could see our affection for the brothers wasn’t reciprocated. We just helped when we were useful but in the end unworthy of love. Family actually did end in blood, and we were naive for believing otherwise.

Spn queer baited LGBTQ+ one last time to drive up viewership, so the marginalized part of the audience could bear witness to Castiel’s exclusion from the Winchester’s finale. We never belonged. This wasn’t our story. This was the story of cishet white brothers, Sam and Dean, that were the product of their cishet white parents, John and Mary, that lived up the road in their Heaven. The queer angel of the lord was not going to intrude in their story any longer, despite his devotion to them over the past 12 years. We didn’t belong, because Castiel didn’t belong.

Other Views are Valid

I just want to reiterate that everything I’m saying is just my own opinion. If other LGBTQ+ thought the episodes were perfect that is also very valid. If you are not a LGBTQ+ then I appreciate your support, and ask that you check any biases before disagreeing with my opinion. Cishet will never be made to feel marginalized, inferior, or abnormal because of their sexuality or gender. And if you want to save LGBTQ+ lives you can try to change your view to see queer as normal and become a LGBTQ+ ally.

TLDR;

Misha’s performance was amazing. Bobo Beren’s writing was brilliant. After 15x18, the romance was like a puzzle that had all the pieces carefully together except the last one. Then 15x20 took that beautiful, nearly complete puzzle and dumped it in a metal trash bin, soaked it in lighter fluid, and burned it to ash. I blame the showrunners. They should never have had a LGBTQ+ come out to have his love unrequited, die, and then get erased from the story. Bad representation is worse than no representation.

#spn #Destiel #my spn thoughts #spn ending #spn 15x18 #spn 15x20 #spn season 15 #supernatural #deancas #Andrew Dabb

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

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nona-gay-simus-main · 4 years

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Top 10 Worst Tropes in Romance - Part 2

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion, you do you.

Part 1: Here

1. The Child Partner

I’m not talking about literal children, because duh. What I mean is the a person who needs their partner to emotionally parent them.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the whole point of a romantic relationship is to be with an equal. You’re supposed to be teammates, best friends, and lovers.

Of course, I'm not including cases where one partner is disabled or chronically/mentally ill and needs the other to take care of them - that’s an entirely separate thing.

I'm referring to people (usually cishet men), who constantly need their partner to manage their moods and emotions. They always have some ~trauma~ to manipulate the partner into staying in the relationship in order to keep reassuring them, confirming their self-esteem, and even doing their cooking and cleaning, as if they aren't abled adults with two functioning hands.

That shit sucks!

Imagine doing that for someone all the time and then also trying to have a kid (or multiple kids) with that person. Not only will you be taking care of your actual child; but also - your partner-child. Stop normalizing lazy, emotionally stunted men. That shit ain't cut no matter how hard his abs are or how big his dick is.

2. “I’ve been in love with you since the first moment we met.”

I don’t know what it is about this trope, but it shows up in many romances and it always makes me uncomfortable. How the hell are you supposed to react to that?

Oh, you’ve been in love with me since the first time we met? Yikes, my dude.

You can’t even fall in love with someone that fast anyway. You're not in love with the person, you’re in love with your idea of them!

The only acceptable version of this is the one where it’s more along the lines “I thought I might fall in love with you if I spent any more time with you.” But other than that, I really don't understand why this is a thing?

3. Lust = Love

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude. I’m perfectly fine with couples who have loads and loads of sex. I’m also perfectly fine with casual sex and friends-with-benefits and any other consensual arrangement between adults.

I just get tripped up when pretty much all a couple does is have sex. They have little in common outside of sex, spend little time together when not having sex, and don’t share any hobbies, interests or even conversation topics. Or worse, when they aren’t having sex, they’re fighting.

If you want your characters to get laid, that’s cool. But if you want me to believe they are also falling in love - you’re gonna have to try a little harder.

4. BDSM = Abuse

Yes, abuse happens under the pretense of BDSM, but BDSM is NOT inherently abusive. It only happens within pre-established boundaries and safe words and with explicit consent. The only people who claim it's abuse, are people who have a vested interest in controlling what women and queer people do with our bodies.

So I really, really hate it when people use “It’s just BDSM, don’t be so uptight” to justify their rapey, abusive love interest’s actions. If the submissive has not already consented, or their consent was obtained through manipulation or intoxication - it’s not meaningful consent.

BDSM is a lot more complex than some of the simplistic catchphrases we use to explain it to the vanillas, and we can discuss those complexities for hours, but at the one thing is definitely true - the Dominant only has as much power as the submissive is willing to give. If they (knowingly) cross a boundary or take power without the consent of the submissive, it’s not power exchange, it’s abuse, pure and simple.

5. "All women want him. All men want to be him"

Really? ALL women? Are you sure?

I hate to tell you this, but some women are exclusively attracted to other women. And some women aren’t attracted to anyone. Some women have low libidos, and some women just don’t prioritize sex and relationships for whatever reason. And some women are in happy, fulfilling monogamous relationships already.

And all men want to BE him? Did you know that some men are attracted to other men? They might want a piece of that too. Or perhaps, they just don’t value being some alpha douchebag and are happy to be their much better-adjusted self. That's a thing.

Can we let this cliché die already? Please?

6. Giving up your dreams for ~love~.

Oh man, this is the worst! And why is it nearly always the woman, who has to make a choice between her career and ~~~LoVe~~?

So many books/movies etc. start with this powerful career woman and then by the end reduce her to nothing but a trophy to her man. That’s not feminist, it just keeps perpetuating the same tired gender roles.

And I can’t help but think about the future of this relationship. What if it doesn’t work out? Then the partner who the dreams were given up for looks like a jerk, even if they never asked for this.

And even if it works out, the partner who gave up their dream job, or opportunity, or whatever, will always have this “what if” at the back of their mind. Over time, they may even end up resenting their SO, especially if things don’t work out for them career-wise.

Just such a bad trope all around. It’s not romantic, it’s toxic, and co-dependant and I want it to stop.

7. He treats everyone like crap ***but you***.

You know the limitus test to see if someone’s a good person? Look at how they treat people who are “beneath” them. Their servers, the cleaning lady, etc.

If this guy treats servers like crap, treats his friends and family like crap, treats everyone like crap, except for the person whose pants he wants to get in (or wants to keep getting in for the foreseeable future), why are we romanticizing him? He’s a selfish jackass.

You can have a grumpy (but ultimately caring and good-natured) character, that's fine. But if he only treats people like humans when it benefits him - that's not sexy, that's sociopathic.

8. Love Cures All

Ahhh, the worst of them all. Truly, having a character who suffers from mental illness or has a major trauma, but oh look, they got some cuddles from the love interest and now they are all good!

Just stop, please. It’s so damaging to the people who are going through this, to tell them that all they need to feel better is ~~~LoVe~~~. And if they aren’t getting better? Well, they just haven’t gotten enough ~~~LoVe~~~!

It’s also damaging to the partner - no one should have this much responsibility on their shoulders.

Obviously, the love of a partner, friends, and family can HELP with the healing process, but it’s not enough by itself. Get them some goddamn therapy, please.

9. Accidental Pregnancy

I don’t know about you, but for most people I know, myself included, accidental pregnancy would be an absolute nightmare, not something romantic.

Do you know how bad my entire generation is doing financially? And people use this as a plot device to strengthen the relationship?

Also, relationships get weaker after having a child, not stronger. Babies are cute when they are sleeping, the rest of the time they are crying, screaming messes. Yeah, why wouldn’t sleep deprivation and constantly hurting everywhere strengthen your relationship? 🙄🙄🙄

10. Violent Men

IRL, violent men are scary, not sexy. Even if the violence is never directed at the love interest, chances are that over time it will be. But even if it’s not, why would you ever want to date someone who has the emotional maturity of a pre-schooler?

Because after pre-school, kids tend to learn to solve their problems with their words. But I guess your love interest hasn’t matured past the age of 6, which coincidentally also leads back to the first trope on this list. Charming.

#write #writer #writing #writing tips #tropes #bad romance #bad romance tropes #top 10 #top 10 list #writeblr #writblr #mine

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cripplecharacters · 4 years

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What would a real experience in a psychiatric ward be like? Lots of sites say its good but they seem to be from non-patients. Do you also have any/know where I can find more reliable resources?

yeah, they’re awful. i’ll give my experiences, but they’re pretty intense.

tw psychiatric abuse, suicide mention, sex ment, conversion therapy(?) under the cut. i’ll be getting a little personal and a little painful. a lot personal. i want to be clear: the only people these places help are those with unipolar depression and anxiety and EVEN THAT is only if you do everything they say and act the way they want. and are above the age of 35. and are nice to them. i take that back: it doesn’t matter what you have, if you don’t do whatever they say then they don’t help you. i don’t actually mind giving my experience because venting is good.my experience is heavily tied to my being lgbtq/queer, but that by no means was the focus.

now, this is all worse-case… i’m sure there’s people who work at these places who are good people, but there’s bound to be people in the replies with their own horror stories and i recommend they share said stories and that you read them. and i do mean horror stories. first of all, it depends on the ward. short term facilities completely reduce your sense of freedom down to nothing because all they want is to make sure you aren’t going to kill yourself or someone else. in several places you are required to have a psych evaluation after a suicide attempt that lands you in the ER, some places skip it and just toss you into a short term facility. most people stay in those facilities for about a week at most, then move on to a long term facility if they need to stay longer. generally you get tossed in a room and have to wait until a counselor can see you, they usually make you go to their ‘group therapy’ which, in short term facilities, is pretty weak since most everyone there is exhausted and/or actually having a breakdown, but if you don’t go to groups they can mark you down as non-compliant and it’ll make it harder for you to be cleared to leave.the nurses can try to be sympathetic, but most of them have kind of reduced patients down to moving faces. they aren’t really sympathetic because to them, you’ll be gone in a few days, and your panic and fear will go away like it always does, and it’s not their problem. sure, they can handle a crisis- but they really aren’t all that kind and tend to get annoyed easily if patients don’t comply since they see so many patients they’ve stopped seeing them as individuals and just as nervous animals to be calmed, drugged, and booted out. sometimes the counselors will diagnose you with something completely off base and change all your meds before kicking you out, then you have to have everything changed back. seriously, if you don’t want to go to the groups, they make sure you know that it’ll keep you there longer. it doesn’t matter if you’re exhausted and want to rest. they made us go out and do “stretches” and lie down on linoleum. i don’t like touching the floor. they made me do it anyway. i can’t be still for long periods of time doing nothing. they made me do it anyway. granted, i was 14 and in the minors ward at that time, but still. if you’re too sick to eat, they mark it down and they’ll start breathing down your back about eating disorders. if you don’t do whatever you’re told, they usually imply you’ll have to stay longer. that’s essentially how they keep control. there’s a lot of ‘how’s your mood today’ and fake concern that hides that they’re just getting your info and wanting to move on. kids wards are especially horrible. they act like everyone there is a complete brat that is actively trying to cause trouble and they can and will make you sit in your room with nothing to do.

also they WILL just change your medicine. the second place i went to as a minor just decided i didn’t need my stimulants, they didn’t believe in giving stimulants to people during nonwork days. they didn’t consult with me OR MY PARENTS, they just didn’t give me the medicine i’ve been on since i was five. adhd meds aren’t the types to cause withdrawal, but they keep me calm, awake, and alert, and when i’m not those things there really isn’t much being done. my mom went ballistic and pulled me out of that facility because they decided to screw with my medicine without asking anyone.

it’s pretty unanimous in any of these facilities that they think they are Always Right. ALWAYS. they can never ever be wrong. giving a 17 year old one of the most potently sedative antipsychotics out there instead of one less intense? they were absolutely in the right. thorazine WILL knock you out completely. i slept for hours on the couch in the rec room and it was my fault for not going to groups that day.

i went to a long term facility literally a week after i turned 18. i had been told before i fit a lot of bpd symptoms and it was likely i had it, so i communicated that- i also communicated the horribly toxic and messed up friend situation i had been in the past two years, and i also communicated that i was asexual- big. mistake. they threw me into groups about healthy relationships and the counselor told me to my face that ‘sex is the most important part of intimacy’ and they kept drilling that i would forever be unhappy and toxic unless i listened and obeyed their concepts of healthy relationships and sex. again, i had literally just turned 18. most of the people in the facility had an average age of 35. i went there to process trauma and abuse and was treated like i needed to ‘get over’ my struggles in relationships- not the struggles that were actually there, like being unable to stand up for myself and communicate my needs, oh no- for my apparent resistance to intimacy and trust. those places medicalize the fuck out of being lgbtq- i had to also sit and go in depth about my dysphoria only for them to look at me funny (sorry nonbinary dysphoria weirds you out? my therapist understands it fine?) and continually gaslight me over and over about my experiences, my attraction, who i was attracted to and how- it was as though they had absolutely no idea how to interact with anyone lgbtq that wasn’t cis and gay and middle aged. i said i knew who i was: nonbinary, asexual, trans, not attracted to men: they used my close friendship that had been horribly toxic and traumatic with someone who wasn’t even a guy but who used he/him (or any) pronouns to try and convince me i was actually in love with him, because the concept of toxic friendships and relationships that aren’t romantic and are still painful exist. i still don’t know if they were trying to convince me i was a gay man or a lesbian, the trans thing confused them and they went back and forth with me not accepting my body or me not accepting being trans (i said i was trans?) if they do not immediately understand it, they want to make you say you’re something they do understand, because that way they’ll still be right.

the gaslighting is something.a lot of these long term places (at least the one i went to) are meant for people older than the age of 35. they are meant for cishet people with depression. if you have issues that cannot be resolved with the treatment they give cishet people with depression, screw you. there WAS a trans guy in the ward who was given a decent amount of respect when they didn’t want him to talk about being trans in groups. they encouraged disclosure and they wanted to know everything. and again: you HAD to go to the groups, no matter how uncomfortable you are there. there’s not a lot of support for people who have disorders that Will Never go away- it’s just “coping strategies” for unipolar depression and anxiety and sometimes ptsd groups that i didn’t get to go to because i was too busy learning about sex and relationships. they acted like i was the one who could fix all my problems and i just needed to take charge and accept things and be kind to my inner child, but i’m a person with two personality disorders and severe dissociation. some things will NEVER go away, you can only learn how to manage symptoms as they come.and honestly i don’t think they even had very good depression and anxiety treatment. i feel bad for the people under the age of 25 who went there for depression treatment and were told it was something they could fix on their own. it’s not.

these places are often old fashioned in that manner. the second you mention BPD, they go completely off the rails with treating you like you’re a menace to your relationships and you need to fix yourself before it’s too late. but that’s another story about how much BPD is stigmatized.

also, they made me stay in a room with someone who snored despite the many free rooms. i know it meant ‘less rooms to clean’ but i have profound sleep issues and i’m autistic and have misophonia. i wanted to go out and sleep in on the couches in the open area but they just gave me earplugs and made me go back to bed. no sympathy. no sympathy for panic attacks or people dissociating. they shoved essential oils under my nose when i dissociated and i nearly hacked up a lung, those things are awful.

you can’t just be left alone. you are NEVER alone, you can’t go and be quiet and be left alone, it is constant. you are stuck there and you cannot leave no matter how they attempt to sugar coat it: even if you went there willingly, they can keep you there if they say you’re a danger to yourself. they will check on you constantly if you want to be alone because you can’t want to be alone without being a danger to yourself, according to them. it’s not like people are autistic sometimes. it is IMMENSELY, unbelievably stressful. there is no being alone, they make you keep doors open, they make you viewable at all times- i can understand why, to an extent, but they have absolutely no sympathy for how you feel and don’t usually try to accommodate you either, so you just have to suffer through it. there are a million ways the rules to protect people could be better handled, but that would require being more one on one with a patient and actively being sympathetic to an individual’s needs, and you’ll just be leaving in a few weeks anyways, so why should they bother? there’s really absolutely no sympathy or compassion for the patients because they keep telling us to look at the big picture- when most of us are stuck in the here and now and the pain we are currently going through.

anyways, i got bitter and angry, but that’s most of my experience. i have a lot of blurry memories i can’t really remember as bits and pieces, it’s all just one solid blur of six weeks of incredible stress. i hated every second and i learned absolutely nothing there because i’m not a 40 year old with depression, i was a traumatized teenager with several serious disorders. they were NOT equipped and they were stuck 30 years in the past. i was gaslit most of my time there about my relationships and my sexuality and my gender, about my illnesses and my life and my feelings- they’ll sit down and tell you in a gentle voice that you’re just stressed out and it’ll be okay, but then they don’t actually do anything to encourage that or help you be okay. they just claim to know how you feel, then insist on how you feel, then threaten you if you get mad.

i honestly hated that place so much. there’s no compassion. they try to make it homey but it’s really just throwing a blanket on how they see the patients feelings as temporary and inconsequential.

I left learning absolutely nothing. i’ve gone further with my personal therapist than i’ve ever, ever went with the facility because she actively listens, respects, and understands me.

there’s no respect in these places. none. they are for people with easily palatable anxiety and depression- if you have severe psychotic depression? you’re screwed. if you’re severely depressed and suicidal? you’re screwed. if you have constant panic attacks? you’re screwed. i mean the most basic concepts of those disorders, no room for anyone else.

anyways.

as usual, reddit has a lot of first-person experiences to check out; there’s no doubt some about psych wards. this may be non conventional, but there’s a webcomic about an inpatient facility called ‘fresh meat’ that might be useful to look at. it’s about a 17 year old with depression who has to go to a psych ward. it’s really viscerally uncomfortable in all the ways these places are, and i frankly cannot recommend it enough if you want a good idea of how those places work (the author is mentally ill themself.) it made me a little ill how well it captured the dehumanization and gaslighting, even if it’s fiction, i think it’s worth a look if you want more ideas. also check the post replies for people with their own experiences. -mod a

#psychiatric abuse tw #sex ment tw #hospitals tw #Anonymous

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little-droid · 5 years

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LittleDroid's Long Overdue Animorphs Re-Read: Book 1 – The Invasion - Part 1

My name is Jake. That's my first name, obviously. I can't tell you my last name. It would be too dangerous. The Controllers are everywhere. Everywhere. And if they knew my full name, they could find me and my friends, and then . . . well, let's just say I don't want them to find me. What they do to people who resist them is too horrible to think about.

If there's one thing that sticks in my mind about the Animorphs books, it's this framing device. Each book is written in the first person, from the point of view of one of the main characters telling us how they can't give away too many details, in case the bad guys find them. Each one opens with one character giving their name and telling you it's far too dangerous to give you any more identifying information. As a kid reading these, it was compelling. A little part of me always wondered if the stories were true, and the books were a convenient ploy on behalf of the Animorphs to get the word out.

Jake tells us he can't reveal who he is, or where he lives, and that his life was normal up to one Friday night at the mall.

The book introduces the main cast quickly, and doesn't waste any time toying around establishing their characters. Everyone jumps off the pages right from the get go. There's Marco, Jake's cynical and sarcastic best friend who thinks he's suaver than he really is. There's Tobias, a bit of a dreamer who gets bullied at school for being weird and having a rough home life. There's Rachel, Jake's cousin, who's fashionable, tough and an amateur gymnast. There's Cassie, who's quiet, earthy and an animal lover (and who Jake has a crush on that he refuses to do anything about!).

We don't get a huge sense of who Jake is as a person just yet. Part of that is these books are short and this one has a lot of introductory material to cover. Part of it is Jake falls into the standard 'everyman' character trope. He's serious, dependable, and we find out he recently didn't make the basketball team. Aww.

Before we get into the story properly, I want to say I'm impressed with the cast diversity in this series. Cassie is black. Marco is Hispanic. We find out later that Jake is Jewish. And while there's no explicitly queer characters on paper (there are two characters later who are confirmed by Word of God to be in a queer relationship), I imagine this has more to do with the limitations of children's publishing in the late nineties rather than a lack of intent on the part of the authors.

Especially in a sci-fi series, it's too easy to fall into the trope of space adventures being a thing for cishet white boys. Kudos to Katherine Applegate and Michael Grant for writing something a wide range of kids could recognise themselves in.

Our characters decide to walk home together from the mall and take a short cut through an abandoned construction site they've all been told they're not allowed inside. They banter back and forth, Rachel teasing Jake for implying the girls need looking after on the way home, Cassie smoothing things over. Tobias spots a brilliant light shooting across the sky.

I looked at Tobias and he looked back at me. We both knew what we thought it was, but we didn't want to say it. Marco and Rachel would have laughed, we figured.

But Cassie just blurted it right out. "It's a flying saucer!"

The kids stand stunned. They nervously debate just what the hell is going on and whether they should run before they find up, right up until the ship lands ten feet away from them. The ship is described as "about three or four times as big as our minivan" and has structural damage as if it's been in a fight.

It's Tobias who attempts to communicate first, and everyone receives a response they can only hear in their minds.

Tobias tried again. "Please, come out. We won't hurt you."

‹I know.›

Telepathic aliens? Nine year old me thought this was amazing. Heck, thirty year old me still thinks this is amazing. I blame nostalgia.

The spacecraft opens and we get our first glimpse of an Andalite. These are our 'good guy' aliens, and look like a blue and tan deer centaur with a scythe bladed scorpion tail, no mouth and an extra set of eyes on stalks on top of their heads. Five stars for quality alien design. No Star Trek style rubber foreheads here.

This did also contribute to the nightmare of costume design that was the not-anywhere-near-stellar Nickelodeon adaptation, but we don't talk about that.

The next section is fairly exposition heavy, which is to be expected. This is the introductory book in a long series. There's a lot of groundwork to lay before the real meat of the plot gets going.

The Andalite is dying, and explains that he's here because Earth is in the midst of a covert invasion by a parasitic race called the Yeerks. Grey slug aliens that crawl into the heads of other sapient creatures and take over control of their brains. Evil space cordyceps. The Andalites have been fighting back against them and their takeover, but they were massively outgunned and lost the battle in orbit. They were able to get a message back to their home planet for reinforcements, but those could take over a year to arrive.

Without anyone else to turn to, the Andalite asks Jake to retrieve a blue box from his ship. Jake also finds a little holographic picture of the Andalite's family in his ship and contemplates how sad it is he's dying so far from home, which upset nine year old me greatly.

The Andalite offers to give the kids a piece of technology to help them hold out against the Yeerk invasion until help arrives: the power to physically transform into any animal they can touch.

No one is thrilled about this. Marco points out “this whole thing is nuts”, which becomes a bit of a catchphrase for him over the rest of the series. He's who you count on to point out when things are getting ridiculous. It's Cassie who agrees first, but before the others can get on board, Yeerk ships appear overhead.

Out of time, they each touch one side of the blue box.

‹Go now,› the Andalite said. ‹Only remember this - never remain in animal form for more than two of your Earth hours. Never! That is the greatest danger of the morphing! If you stay longer than two hours you will be trapped, unable to return to human form.›

Aside from the antagonists, the two hour time limit becomes one of the main sources of tension in the series. Having a countdown on being forced to morph back to human complicates their missions and adds a layer of logistics that ramps up the tension in almost every book to come.

Speaking of antagonists, it's at this point we're introduced to our main villain: Visser Three. The only Andalite to ever be taken over by a Yeerk, and the only enemy also capable of morphing.

I would like to go on record here to say I adore Visser Three. He's a first class graduate of the Disney school of maniacal villainy, with honours in pompousness and chewing the scenery. He's the epitome of petty, vicious egomaniacs. He's Darth Vader on deer legs.

Enemy ships descend. The kids flee and hide. Tobias lingers for a moment beside the dying Andalite before being sent running. The rest of the plot exposition happens while the kids are crouched behind a half-built wall, praying they don't breath loud enough to get caught.

Visser Three disembarks from his Blade ship along with his hordes of underlings. We're introduced to two more alien species, both controlled by the Yeerks. Hork-Bajir: huge bipedal raptor-esque creatures covered in blades from top to toe. And Taxxons: ten foot long centipedes with jelly-like, red eyes, and a voracious appetite for any living thing they can devour.

From the get go, you get the sense this isn't ever going to be a series where the odds are on our protagonists' side. The Yeerk forces are overwhelming and relentless. No-one is considering making a dashing stand against evil and hoping good will save the day. The kids are terrified. It's all they can do to stay hidden and hope they'll get out alive.

Visser Three gloats over the fallen Andalite, taunting him about how his ship has been completely destroyed and no-one else is left. We learn the good Andalite's name, Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul, and that he's a Prince, some kind of military hero. He doesn't rise to Visser Three's taunting, and we're treated to the first of the Visser's many classic villain speeches.

‹What do you want with these Humans?› the Andalite asked. ‹You have your Taxxon allies. You have your Hork-Bajir slaves. And other slaves from other worlds. Why these people?›

‹Because there are so many, and they are so weak,› Visser Three sneered. ‹Billions of bodies! And they have no idea what's happening. With this many hosts we can spread throughout the universe, unstoppable! Billions of us. We'll have to build a thousand new Yeerk pools just to raise Yeerks for half this number of bodies. Face it, Andalite, you have fought well and bravely. But you have lost.›

Elfangor's response to this is to whack Visser Three with his tail blade and gouge a chunk out of his shoulder, and honestly? Good for him. Unfortunately Visser Three retaliates by having his ship disintegrate Elfangor's space pod, morphs into a monster that can only be described as a gargantuan mouth on tree trunk legs and eats Elfangor alive.

Yep, you read that right. See, up until this point, nine year old me was still convinced they were somehow going to save the alien and have an alien friend to go with them on space adventures. That's how adventure books work, right? Nine year old me quickly had to learn this series wasn't going to pull its punches. At all. Nine year old me had some growing up to do.

Nerves get the better of Marco after listening to psychic screams of an alien he just met being chewed into kibble, and he throws up, inadvertently giving away their hiding spot. Cue searchlights and armed soldiers. The kids run, splitting up to scrape a marginally better change of some of them getting away. Jake stumbles into an empty building and only manages to escape by literally tripping over a homeless man who the Yeerks murder in his stead. It's not explicit in the text, and Jake hopes the man gets away, but the Yeerks are bringing the heads back for identification. I think it's safe to say that guy is dead.

Jake keeps running and doesn't look back.

#animorphs #little-droid's animorphs reread #the invasion #k a applegate #michael grant

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hotcheetos-te-amo · 4 years

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I'm a heterosexual and cisgender woman but alot of people will question my sexuality for me because I consume alot of queer media and I do genuinely love it. I love stories and the very idea of queer stories was something I never even thought existed growing up. In middle school meeting queer girls, in high school befriending bisexual men, in college debating with trans students, looking up to my gay Bible leader from University, I searched for stories to understand my peers as I did with my friends of different cultures so I could relate to them. So I could understand them and eventually long for their happy endings too. I saw it as solidarity for my friends, for my fellow Americans, they deserve the right to be understood and i want to understand. I am a Christian and I'm devout but I will not allow my Bible and my God to be used to oppress others whom God lovingly created, especially by those who hide behind the ignorance of not knowing his creation and never learning what it truly is to love your neighbor no matter who they are. That was what I was comfortable with and that was what I knew and accepted of myself and believed. But then I fell in love with a trans woman and I can't happily consume queer media anymore, not really as a happy outsider like before. I didn't become attracted to women, but for her I wanted to give her the world. But I fell in love with her as a man. Yet I never been in love before and I wanted her so badly, I thought at the end of the day it wouldn't matter, because God still loves her but I couldn't force my faith onto her and not be afraid of how she would be treated, by my world and my loved ones and at the end of the day I couldn't trust that I could keep her happy because as much as I would respect her as a woman I could only love her as a man, and how twisted would that be to truly respect a trans friend but to mentally distort my lover for my needs? That would be cruel to her, forcing her into my strong belief systems. Though as a Christian i want to save her soul I'd condemn her to a miserable life of fighting for your existence by people who say they love you. So with all the pain in my body and heart I cut her off from my life and yet she never left my mind. I'm filled with fantasies and hopes that I wish the next person who has the privilege to hold her will fulfill 1000x more then I ever could or else they don't deserve her. I pray for her every morning and every night and some days all I do is pray for her. I get mad at the snow because it's kissed her face more than I could ever dream to and I envy the sun being able to see her for the rest of her days and I get so angry at God because he gets to see her and love her everyday. Things I painfully will never be allowed to do. But now she's gone from my life and eventually I will make peace with that. But now I can't enjoy queer stories like I used to. What used to be something I could see and love and consume made me really come to terms that these weren't just fictional stories, these were the hopes and longings of real people who wanted happy endings for the million of life experiences that didn't end up happy. These were fantasies that were fighting against hundreds of years of heterosexual normalcy that were being put up in mainstream media for others to be seen and to know they were being seen. So as another ignorant Christian I'm sorry. I didn't know and even though I learned I didn't really understand until now and as a cishet I never will truly, but I'm trying. I chose to give my life to Christ but I know it wasn't a choice to be queer like it wasn't a choice that I fell in love with her. Someday things will be different and I will do my part in making Christian circles better because no one should be afraid of holding the hand of their loved one in front of such an amazing and loving God.

#christian rant #christian #queer #trans #lgbt #i love Christ so i will love lgbt people too

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the-bi-writer-blog · 7 years

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Not all Deaths are Created Equal (Musings on WLW Deaths in Popular Media)

I want to take a sec and talk about character deaths, and the way they differ between queer and non-queer characters. Below are major spoilers for the show “The 100″ and for the game “Life is Strange.”

So! I just played through the Square Enix game Life is Strange, and I was entirely delighted in the beginning. You start as a high school senior in a cute coastal town, taking photos and solving mysteries via time travel.

Cool, right?

What’s even better is that the main two characters, Max and Chloe, are wlw. (It’s sort of left up to reader interpretation if they are bi or gay, but since Chloe at one point literally calls boys, “gross,” and says that no one but her is good enough for Max, I’m going to go ahead and say she’s a lesbian who’s still in the process of figuring that out.)

Anyway! In the first few episodes of the game, you have these sweet story about these two childhood friends reuniting and having adventures. They watch the sunset together overlooking the ocean, they walk along train tracks and reminisce about their shared childhood, they go for a midnight swim after breaking into the school pool.

These aren’t the best life choices, but the game shows a genuine and sweet relationship that develops between the two.

Aside from a lot of flirting, however, and a very brief kiss as the result of a dare, the Chloe and Max never acknowledge their feelings for each other. That is, until Chloe’s about to die. (I said major spoilers, didn’t I?)

The climax of Life is Strange involves Max and Chloe standing in front of a giant hurricane that’s about to wreck their town. Max is given the choice to either save the town, or to save Chloe. For unknown reasons, Max can’t do both.

Yes, you heard that right. Our lesbian MC either has to choose between saving her childhood best friend/long lost love, or doing what is obviously the more moral choice. How can you save a single life instead of hundreds? The “moral” choice here is meant to be obvious.

So, here’s the thing about the two endings: if you choose to save Chloe, the two of you wait out the storm, and then drive off together into the sunset. Nothing is acknowledged or talked through, including the fact that you just let everyone die.

More conspicuously, the girls never discuss their feelings for each other, and the game doesn’t end on a kiss.

Guess when the game does end on a kiss, though?

That’s right, you guessed it! When the lesbian is about to die. More specifically, when one lesbian is forced to choose between saving the love of her life, or an entire town full of people.

If Max chooses to save the town, letting Chloe die, you get a passionate kiss from Chloe (finally!) before, well, going back in time and watching her slowly bleed to death as you do nothing to stop it.

Which is bullshit.

It also brings us back to the “not all deaths are created equal” idea. I mean, ideally, the amount of dead lesbians in your story would be 0, but in a mystery story where there are multiple wlw, it’s understandable that death may be involved.

However.

How characters die also makes all the difference. Did they knowingly sacrifice their own life? Did they die a hero? Or were they killed off screen, probably in a brutal way, simply to further the plot?

If we’re talking Life is Strange, it’s the second one. Rachel Amber, our missing bisexual girl who started this whole mystery, is revealed to have been dead and buried since the game began (which, after giving multiple hints that she’s still alive, and can be rescued if the player makes the right choices, is a really, really shitty way to end things. But I digress.)

So we have Rachel, our first queer woman, literally buried in a shallow grave after a brutal death, before the game even begins. Then we end the game with a choice to either kill another queer woman, who the MC now loves, or to let the rest of the town die.

As a reminder, to bring this all home: Life is Strange starts out with a light and hopeful aesthetic, and does everything but come right out and say, “Rachel is still alive, and all three queer girls can reunite and be friends if you make the right choices and solve the mystery.”

Then it reveals a brutally murdered wlw, and heavily pressures you to kill another. Leaving you, the last standing lesbian, utterly alone. The last scenes of the game, if you choose to save the town, are literally of your lady love’s funeral.

Not at all depressing, right?

Bringing this back to message again, I want to underline how many different ways this could have gone:

1. Rachel Amber (our missing girl) could have been alive, and been found/rescued by the player. There is literally nothing added to the story by Rachel’s death, especially after the audience has been repeatedly baited to believe that she’s alive.

Furthermore, having Rachel (and most likely Chloe) dead removes the possibility of sequels for these wonderful characters. It means that in the new prequel series, you get to watch Chloe and Rachel fall in love...knowing all the while that Rachel is going to die before the next game.

What value does Rachel’s impending death add to the prequel game? As I said in a previous post, the LGBTQ community does not need a reminder that life is subtle and fleeting. Believe me, we know.

In a world where wlw are killed and shunned for the way we love, sometimes we just want a little escapism and a happy ending. Especially from a game that all but promised us one.

2. Second scenario: Max could have figured out a way to save Chloe without killing everyone else.

Since the rules of time travel are never established in game, it was a conscious choice on the part of the creators to allow for Chloe’s death; not a narrative inevitability.

Once again: old white cishet men decided, of their own accord, to kill the lesbian. There’s literally nothing stopping the creators from creating a way to save Chloe. At all. Besides perhaps an understanding that for LGBTQ characters, survival is a far more radical ending than death.

Question: If, as a creator, have the choice to tell literally any story, and imagine any world, why do you imagine a world where 2/3 of the queer women die?

3. Scenario three: If, for some reason you absolutely had to kill Chloe in game, you reaaaaaaaaly shouldn’t do it immediately after Max and Chloe confess their feelings for each other, and finally kiss.

From a storytelling angle, I do understand wanting to save all the Big Emotional Moments for the climax, but here’s the thing: once again, not all storylines are created equal.

For a cishet love story to end this way might be interesting, because there are a million happy cishet love stories out there. A single sad ending for a single cishet couple is a drop in the bucket compared to the massive amounts of happy stories to be easily found.

But queer love stories are few and far between, and they almost always end in tragedy. Burying your gays isn’t revolutionary; giving them happy endings is.

And if you can’t give them that, give them happy lives before they die.

In Life is Strange, Max and Chloe only ever kiss/confess their love if you make the choice to sacrifice Chloe. That’s right folks; in order to have the “happy ending” of the two characters getting together, one of them has to watch the other die.

In a world where queer relationships are tested at every turn, that’s NOT the message the LGBTQ comunity needs.

The message that finding love will only end in death? We’ve heard it. We’ve heard it from The 100, where Lexa dies literally minutes after finally consummating her relationship with the woman she’s loved and been flirting with for several seasons. (Also, she dies from a stray bullet, not in battle like she would have wanted to, as a leader of a warrior people.)

We’ve heard it from Buffy, where Tara is killed- again by a stray bullet - seconds after reuniting with the love of her life. Tara’s death scene is literally her happy reunion with Willow.

Are you seeing a pattern? In popular media, the message is, “If two women are happy together, one of them will die.”

Would these few examples be as big of an issue if there were hundreds of other examples of happy wlw in media? Of course not. But are there hundreds of other examples of happy wlw in media? Nope. Not at all.

To bring this all back to Life is Strange: as a wlw myself, I was delighted to play through this game, and watch two reunited friends figure out what they meant to each other.

Then, once I was entirely invested, I was crushed to realize that there was no possible happy ending. Really, the “happiest” ending possible involves a confession of true love and a kiss...immediately followed by a lesbian dying via (you guessed it!) a bullet.

Taken on its own, I do love Life is Strange. I’ve read several theories on the meaning behind it, and, taken in a vacuum, I can appreciate the story for what it is.

But I don’t exist in a vacuum. I exist in a world where I lost my entire support system when I came out. I live in a world where my parents disowned me and kicked me out of the house, even though I didn’t have the ability to work due to disability. And in that world? I don’t need a reminder of the fragility of life. I need a reminder that love matters, and can save the day.

tl;dr All I’m asking for is wlw who get happy endings in mainstream media. It doesn’t feel like too big of an ask, but apparently, it is.

As an important end note: every piece of media listed above is also severely lacking in other areas of representation, most notably when it comes to PoC. Joss Whedon’s work is well known for its racism and misogyny; The 100 has almost exclusively white MCs, and treats its characters of color atrociously, and Life is Strange barely contains any characters of color at all. All of which are unacceptable.

Additionally, none of these pieces of media contain a single trans or disabled character. White, ablebodies cis gays are the only LGBTQ characters that seem to be represented in popular media at all. Which again, is unacceptable.

So I want to acknowledge that there’s a lot more work to be done, and that the LGBTQ community should be as diverse on screen as it is in real life. LGBTQ representation absolutely has to include PoC and disabled characters to be complete.

#wlw in media #lgbtq #pricefield #not sw #long post #my essays #mine

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