#prevent cancer I know Im likely to get?

[gxlden-angels]

I've got a personal situation going on that I want to eventually talk about here, but in summary transphobes and fundamentalist christians hate women and can suck my spiritual dick about it

#idk maybe I'll go into more detail eventually #but essentially I'm very tired of the christian and terf narrative of 'don't get gender affirming care your body is healthy and perfect' #'the lord made you the way you should be :)' #and I know terfs aren't doing it based on jesus but they can still go fuck themselves over the same rhetoric with a 'fem' sticker over it #because I want to get top surgery but that's 'mutilating healthy tissue' #but I have a family history of early onset breast cancer which means getting preventative surgery is one of my best options #so what now? am I mutilated because it's gender affirming and technically not cancerous? or am I brave because I went under the knife to #prevent cancer I know Im likely to get? #You can't tell if I got top surgery to affirm my gender or a double mastectomy to prevent cancer unless you ask me #So right now Im very angry about the concept that I was 'beautifully and wonderfully made' by some deity that wanted my mom to die at 45 #I discovered quite a few more medical issues I have and the christian crowd is getting on my fucking nerves about it #'let me pray over you' pray over this dick my mom and her mom already got got and I was gonna chop them regardless #ex christian #religious trauma #parental death tw

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[vympr]

I remember getting the gardasil vaccine when it came out. I was a sophomore in high school at that time. My mom was like, the antithesis of an antivaxx mom, she would basically hand the doctors our arms anytime they mentioned a new vaccine. And I remember that was the first time I really heard of the antivaxx movement. I remember this woman got popular pretending that it caused her uncontrollable shakes that prevented her from walking (sound familiar? who would’ve thought antivaxxers would be a one trick pony) and just fear mongering about mercury in the vaccine. I remember my high school BIOLOGY teacher (the class that also taught sex ed) went on this entire rant about the HORRORS of Gardasil. She was not ecstatic when I announced to the class I got the two shots with no side effects.

And bc the vaccine was mainly for teens and young adults (to hopefully vaccinate them before becoming sexually active-which will be explained in depth in a minute) and at the time it was only available for afab, and it was for a sexually transmitted virus, casual slut shaming surrounded it too. Which I’m sure prevented many parents from allowing doctors to vaccinate their kids bc “their child isn’t a whore”.

Cervical cancer has one known cause. HPV. Gardasil protects against the strains of HPV known to cause cervical cancer (there’s over a 100 strains but only few cause cancer). HPV is THE most common STI with around 80% of the population having had it at some point. There is also no actual test for HPV. If abnormal cells are present during a pap smear, HPV is considered the culprit. There is no test to speculate if you have HPV (at least that im aware of) if you do not have a cervix, unless you have one of the strains that could potentially cause genital warts. Which most don’t. It can also lie dormant for weeks to YEARS before it becomes active. So a partner could transfer it from a previous relationship to a new one, while remaining completely monogamous. Or be impossible to pinpoint if someone has had multiple partners over the course of years and had unprotected sex. Which is why it was pushed to teens and young adults before they had sex.

This means that there are no doubt people who have died or at least suffered unnecessarily, bc even tho there is a vaccine out there that would prevent against that very scenario, due to the misinformation (and in this specific case additional misogyny) of the antivaxx movement.

“Potential scientists” fuck offffffffffff. “potential scientists”, their “potential scientist” told a classroom full of teens, whom they trusted to be an educated source of scientific information, they should avoid a possible life saving vaccine based off dogshit.

Anyways. Sorry this is clearly a topic I’m passionate about. I also know a lot of people who’ve never heard of this vaccine. The information about HPV came directly from my gyno when abnormal cells were found in my pap smear and she nearly cried tears of joy finding out I received both shots. The vaccine is available to everyone now. It’s better late than never, so even being sexually active it’s still a good idea to get it. This also being the celibacy website, getting it BEFORE being sexually active is ideal. (Also in case i scared anyone about HPV, the reason so many people have had it is bc its generally a very mild virus and usually has no symptoms and the body normally fights it off on its own. It’s just those strains that can cause cancer, both of the cervix and throat, are the ones that are obviously a concern. Which getting vaccinated can prevent against)

period

[aria-ashryver]

yooooo im SO tired, have a health update 💞

(which was going to be another video update but then a bird came and i got distracted and now im too tired to speak lol. also WOW imagine being so pale you create your own god rays slkdjf)

so, ive been feeling like hot garbage for some time, which is perhaps not surprising with the whole "was poisoned via chemo for a year, is still recovering" thing. Recently my heart has been feeling Not Good TM, and the fatigue waves are getting pretty extreme at times.

So, I followed this up with my doctor, very much expecting it to be a case of "no you're just out of shape / your asthma is playing up / you're just being super lazy, try harder, etc". He booked me a specialised heart test which I had last week.

Uhhh apparently I wasn't just being pathetic! (Which is somewhat gratifying to know that there is a reason things have been so hard lately and it's not just in my head)

There is a thing called your Ejection Fraction, which is essentially a measure of how much oxygenated blood your heart is pumping around your body -- its the factor that keeps you feeling energised.

Mine has dropped. Fairly significantly. When I had the same heart scan in October, mid-way through chemo, I was still retaining a lot of my heart health and muscle mass from when i was pre-chemo, so my EF was sitting at about 80. Which is a sign I was initially quite physically fit (or, to quote my oncologist: "giiiiirl, you a Boston Marathon runner or what?)

Since my last scan, my EF has dropped to 58. Which is still actually higher than average, most people sit at about 55, so I've dropped to an average range lol.

My heart is working, but such a significant jump is still cause for concern. My oncologist said that if I had been less young and fit, it would have been a case of dropping from 55 to somewhere in the 30s, to which he said "you'd struggle to even walk down that corridor at that point."

At this stage, I have a (hopefully reversible!) cardiomyopathy. Unfortunately, reduced heart and lung function can be complications of the two immune therapy drugs I am taking to prevent my cancer from coming back. So the current course of action is to put my immune therapy treatments on hold for 9 weeks to let my heart recover.

Yes, that is a tad spooky, but the drugs have a very long half-life, so I should be okay not taking them for that short period. On the plus side, this should hopefully improve my overall quality of life while my heart heals, and a break from immune therapy will be really nice anyway, because that shit hurts lmao.

Otherwise, the metastatic cancer in my spine and my hips remains stable and is still showing signs of healing because I am AWESOME AND COOL. Oh, and I also had a massive internal lesion (a chemo complication I never mentioned here bc like... if I told you guys every little thing that's wrong with me, we'd be here all day lmao) but that is now healing on its own too!! Woo!

So... ye. Gonna have a nap, knowing that medically my heart is broken and I have yet another reason to take it easy now haha.

Send me lots of "oi don't get cancer again in the next 9 weeks you absolute nugget" type vibes. I don't think I will, I'm not worried, but yk yk vibes are nice 🥰💝💖💓💕🩷💞 if you are still reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

#aria pincushion tally: #complete #look how much hair i have now whoa #i have chemo curls

[dontmindmeimjusthereforthesequel]

Ok, wait. Im currently on my third relisten of TMA and I'm at Mag 107 Third Degree. Jon is poking around America following Gertrude's trail and he just found out about Gerry's death and subsequent skin book entry.

And that has always bothered me to a degree.

I just couldn't figure out why Gertrude would do that. It seemed unnecessarily cruel and oddly pointless. At first I thought it was because she needed him for something or just didn't want to lose him, but when Jon interviews him he doesn't seem to have much in the way of information, and Gertrude doesn't strike me as the overly sentimental type; and if she needed him, why would she leave America without his page? She was able to talk herself out of being arrested, and she had plenty of determination and resources as well as a good six months before her own death if she wanted to get the book back, but it just... didn't happen. I just didn't understand why she would go to all that trouble to put him in the skin book and then just... leave him there.

And then... I had a thought.

Did... did Gertrude put Gerry in the skin book to prevent him from coming back as an avatar? Because Gerry died of a serious brain tumor and Trever Herbert had lung cancer when he gave his statement and died in the institute and then just got up and went about his business. And dying is sort of a right of passage into becoming a fully fledged avatar, right? Was Gerry becoming an avatar??? His entire life he was constantly surrounded by fear, (first as a child with Mary and her Leitners, then as an adult with Gertrude at the institute) so there is no way he wasn't affected by all that. The guy had a reputation! He was constantly interacting with people who were marked or in some kind of trouble! even if he wasn't in it to scare people, he was still around them while they were experiencing that terror. There is no way he didn't attract the attention of ONE fear entity that entire time.

And if he was becoming an avatar, what entity was he aligned with? I know The Eye seems like the obvious choice, what with his tattoos and working at the institute, but I'm not sold on the idea. Gertrude and Mary (and presumably Gerry as well) were very careful to walk the tightrope between entities, never giving themselves over to just one, and if Gerry was eye aligned I would think that Gertrude would not approve. To me the tattoos seem almost like a preventative measure of some kind? Connecting himself to Beholding to prevent another fear from sinking its claws into him. Personally, I feel it is more likely he was part of The Hunt (tracking down Leitners for Mary and rituals for Gertrude) or The Desolation (destroying things that are precious to other avatars like the Leitners or rituals). Hunt seems more likely in the long run, especially since we find Gerry's page with two avatars of the hunt. Just saying.

Idk. Maybe this has already been discussed at length somewhere in the community, but if it was I certainly missed it, and it has been bothering me for years.

tl;dr - Gertrude put Gerry in the skin book to prevent him being reborn as an avatar

I need to go lie down

#tma brain rot got me bad #I CANT BELIEVE SHE JUST LEFT HIM THERE #trying to keep a straight face at work while this shit keeps popping up in my head #the magnus archives #gerry keay #gertrude robinson #jurgen leitner #that bastard #mary keay #that bitch #the eye #the hunt #tma spoilers #tma

[larkermarker]

Finally got around to making a super simple ref sheet for my ew redesigns. These have been floating around in my head for around a year.

These are also the designs for my eddswhirl au. To keep it short, eddswhirl is just my spin on the main series. An au where I can shove my headcanons and interpretations that might not be canon compliant. Also timeline and story changes that I want to make.

Some additional design notes below

Tom possession timeline thing I made this quickly agahag

Details for each stage

4 to 7

Not possessed yet

Just a normal kid with big pupils

8 to 12

Got possessed by a wrath demon a few years ago (thanks to dad)

The demon is affecting Toms body physically

Eyes fully black now

Doesn’t like that kids point that out all the time

A little self conscious about his eyes

13 to 17

Teeth are growing in unnaturally sharp

Braces are barely helping

Anger management issues

Shifts a little under extreme stress or anger but can’t change into a full monster yet

Thinks his black eyes make him look cool and edgy (just like all those ocs he saw online that use black eyes when they turn evil)

18 to 36

Not experiencing any new major changes to his regular form

Alcohol helps keep him emotionally numb (the demon can affect his emotions even when not under stress)

Can shift into full monster form now (he can't really control it)

37 to 38

Demon is taking over more of Toms body

More features from his monster form or bleeding into his normal form

It is exhausting Tom physically and mentally trying to keep it down

Lashes out more

38 to 39

Finally gets a successful exorcism preformed (parents tried in the past but it didn't work)

He is a lot happier and expressive with that thing gone

Eyes turn back to normal (cursed) but still has sharp teeth

Over all he is feeling good

40 to (when he dies?)

Oops! Tom developed eye cancer after some time

The demon was the only thing preventing that from happening (it wanted to keep its host alive so it protected, or lessened, most inner and outer damage that came to Tom)

His eyes are completely white

Got a visor (thanks Tord) to help him see again

And some Tord rambles (he is all i have the most thought out rn)

Tord is not totally evil in this au

He does initially plan on taking over the world, but chickens out of going through it

His dad sucks (also one of the motivations for Tord wanting to take over) and he doesn't like to think of him

His mother and him have a strained and distant relationship

They do bond more as Tord gets older

Tords family moved to the UK when he was a teen

No one knows he is trans until after a few year living with the other 3 boys (he told them)

Likes to joke that he is the straightest in the house

Still likes his anime, guns, and robots

Dated Matt for a few months before he left

He left for around 6-8 years to join the army and to go to uni

He knew Paul for a few years before join the army

Tord was planning on going to uni to improve his engineering

Was also going to go back to the house to improve his giant robot prototype, he knew it was far from being battle ready

Skip to a few years in uni and now Tord was having second thoughts on the whole red army thing

He tried to get in contact with Paul but he couldn't reach him

The contact info must have been changed on Pauls end

There has been someone continuing Tords plan behind his back, a left over Tord clone from "Spares" (im going to call clone Tord, Red)

Red had made it look like Tord changed his mind on going to uni, coming up with a different plan that could still achieve their goals

Red had a more talkative, confident, and charismatic personality than the other Tord clones

Great at controlling an army, and pretty decent with machines

But Red wasn't doing this for himself, he was doing this for Tord

He had an obsession with living up to Tords goal

Also a big Tord simp

Planning on the two of them leading the army together after Tord returned (he would even let Tord rule solo if he wanted)

After the events of "The End", it just left Red with a ruined plan, friendships broken, and Tords work and public image in shambles

In the future, Tord teams up with the boys to take Red down

Tord is the one to finish Red off

I have it so the au can go down two routes

Tord can either pretend to be Red so he can dismantle the army, or pick up where Red left off (pissing off his friends who he just got to trust him, especially after he told them that what Red was doing is what he was planing to do years ago)

#eddsworld #ew matt #ew tom #ew tord #ew edd #eddswhirl au #rambles #eddsworld designs #eddsworld redesign #larkart

[bojackandherb]

My HNDJD (Herb’s Not Dead, Just Done) Au, explained:

Herb’s cancer goes into remission, and then he doesn’t hit that peanut truck!

Herb not dying means no funeral, which means no reconnecting with Charlotte, which means no Escape from LA. Sure, he’d want to get back in contact with Charlotte, but he has no idea where she lives or what her current phone number is, and the only way to find out would be asking Herb, and… yeah, that’s not happening. When things turn bad on Secretariat, since he doesn’t really have anywhere to go, he just… idk sits around and is sad I guess.

So Herb remains his biggest regret, and when the end of season 3 rolls around and Bojack and Sarah Lynn are on the bender/apology tour, instead of going to Ohio to apologize to Penny, he goes—you guessed it—to Malibu!

Herb’s just chillin, livin his life, when he ex-best friends and daughter figure show up, Bojack just yelling “IM SORRY” and demanding to make “amends.”

Herb doesn’t know how to deal with this, and doesn’t particularly want to deal with Bojack’s nonsense, but he very quickly realizes

1. Bojack and Sarah Lynn are both very drunk and high and have been driving around and causing mayhem and hitting stuff, and if he lets them go they will presumably continue to do so and potentially get themselves or someone else killed

2. Bojack has sabotaged his relationships with pretty much everyone else in his life and there’s not really anyone else who wants to deal with him right now either

3. He really doesn’t these idiots to overdose or continue behaving/driving recklessly and get themselves or anyone else injured/killed, and if they leave he’s gonna feel partially responsible for whatever happens

So Herb gets an idea, and if pretty much like “Hey Bojack, I will consider forgiving you, but only if you stick around here and Don’t. Leave.”

Bojack, who is very high, desperate for forgiveness, and missed his bestie, thinks this is a wonderful idea.

So now Herb has two drunk/high idiots on his hands and he’s trying to prevent them from causing mayhem and destroying the place.

Along the way, he’s forced to confront the fact the he doesn’t know Bojack quite as well as he thought he did…

Like how he thought Bojack didn’t really care about him and only visited him when he was dying of cancer so that he didn’t have to deal with his guilt/could feel better about himself. But it turns out Bojack had actually been consumed with guilt over it for years, and actually did really care about and miss him

Anyway, more in this later, but that’s pretty much how the au starts out. (well, there’s also a much of smaller changes before this, but this is the main turning point at which it really diverges from canon)

#bojack horseman #bojack the horse #bjhm #herb kazzaz #bjhm aus #my aus #HNDJD AU #Herb’s not dead just done au #Bojack horseman au

[eroticcannibal]

Low key this is embarrassing but I never learned a lot of normal people things. What sunblock do you use? How often is often enough to apply? How much SPF is good? Someone the other day told me I was supposed to wear it inside too and I can't tell if they were teasing me.

Is the sun really trying that hard to kill us? How tf did we even adapt to survive this long?

Im sorry this got LONG but I am giving you the info

Ok so I personally use soltan, its reasonably priced and broad spectrum. Whats best for you may depend where you are, be CAREFUL if you live in the US as many sunscreens lack broad spectrum protection or proper indicators to tell you if it has proper broad spectrum protection. At least last I checked it does not appear to be standardised like it is in other countries. (Someone pls let me know if this has changed or if there are any individual states that regulate this better)

You should reapply every 2-3 hours i think and after getting out of water if you go swimming. Yes its a lot. If you *have* to cheat, avoid direct sun, reduce how much you expose your skin. Also use mineral sunscreen if you are wearing makeup. Also grab yourself UV sunglasses and a big hat.

Aim for 50 spf AND 5 starts/whatever other indicators are relevant to where you live. Spf is sun protection factor, or in simple terms "how much extra time do I have before I burn". Stars are an indicator of how much UVA and UVB is absorbed in comparison with each other. This is important because not all sun damage is visible. If its got 5 stars you know that if you are applying sunscreen properly to avoid sunburn, that same level of protection applies to the unseen damage too.

Yes you should wear sunscreen indoors, and also year round. I understand this is quite demanding so again if you need to cheat: cover up in cooler weather, denim will block everything guaranteed. Do not be fooled by the season, if the sun is there it can still get you. When indoors, be mindful of how much sunlight is in your house and where you spend your time. If you want to spend a whole day lounging with the curtains open, consider doing it away from windows that get direct sunlight. Also consider your window coverings (also if its hot you may want to keep blinds and curtains closed anyway to reduce the heat indoors, so 2 birds one stone). If you are truly paranoid and also lazy like me, get yourself a sun lamp and never open your curtains 😂. But just closing curtain on the side the sun is on can do a lot to reduce how much sun is getting indoors. And again proper clothing can help you indoors.

If you wanna be super duper cheaty you can keep an eye on the UV index and also avoid peak sunshine between 10 am and 4 pm. Heres what the UV index can tell you:

Low, 0-2: At the low stage, experts advise you to wear sunglasses if the sun is bright. Use sunscreen and protective clothing if you burn easily.

Moderate, 3-5: At the moderate stage, you should cover up and use sunscreen. Avoid direct sunlight at midday, when the sun is most powerful. Stay in the shade.

High, 6-7: At the high stage, you should use all protection against sun damage (protective clothing, wearing a hat and sunglasses, using sunscreen). Limit time in the sun from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Very high, 8-10: At the very high stage, you should be extra careful, using clothing, hats, sunscreen and sunglasses. Avoid the sun between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Your skin can burn quickly at this stage.

Extreme, 11+: At the extreme stage, you should use all methods of prevention. It will only take minutes of exposure to result in a burn. Don’t go out in the sun from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wear protective clothing, a hat, sunglasses and sunscreen. At this stage and all others, remember that snow, sand and water all increase UV exposure by reflecting the sun’s rays."

The sun IS a deadly lazer and the only reason we have survived as a species is because we only need to live long enough to reproduce and you can get that done before the skin cancer gets you. Its cumulative damage, so being lazy from time to time and cutting corners won't kill you on its own, but do it enough and it might catch up to you eventually, if you cut enough corners and live long enough. (And you don't have to be terribly old, the peak age is 85-89 but rates go up sharply at 20-24.)

But ANOTHER thing you can do to protect yourself is check your skin and learn the signs of skin cancer. Early detection is KEY and makes it very survivable (close to 100%!), especially for dark skinned people who tend to have lower rates of survival due to later detection! There is basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma. The last is the most dangerous, accounting for 75% of skin cancer deaths and is caused by sun burn type damage.

"Basal cell carcinoma may appear as a small, smooth, pearly or waxy bump on your face or neck, or as a flat, pink/red- or brown-colored lesion.

Squamous cell carcinoma can appear as a firm, red nodule or as a rough, scaly, flat lesion that may itch, bleed and become crusty.

Melanoma usually appears as a pigmented patch or bump. It may resemble a normal mole, but usually has a more irregular appearance."

Some more on Melanoma:

"When looking for signs of melanoma, think about the alphabet. ABCDE tells you what signs to look out for on moles or lesions on your skin:

Asymmetry: The shape of one half doesn’t match the other.

Border: Edges are ragged or blurred.

Color: Uneven shades of brown, black, tan, red, white or blue.

Diameter: A significant change in size (greater than 6 millimeters).

Evolution: Changes in the way a mole or lesion looks or feels (itchy, bleeding, etc.)."

If in doubt, ask your doctor, also take pictures of any suspect moles so you can compare them over time. Very helpful if, like me, you are covered in hundreds of moles. Very tough to keep track of lmao.

And remember UVC FILTERING SUNSCREEN IS A MARKETING SCAM

I hope that is everything u need pls feel free to bother me again

[actualmythicalcreature]

Hey tumblr frends that live in my phone; as some of you know, I have blood cancer (PV) Diagnosed two years ago in the very early stages - treatment so far has just been taking aspirin and monitoring my blood. WELL, I seem to have had my first TIA (mini-stroke) this past weekend and that means things are progressing and my treatment will need to change. My doctor can't see me till Thursday so I don't have a lot of answers yet. It's very stressful. ANYWAYS; I may be on Tumblr a lot less? Or potentially a lot more - im not sure yet 😅 However I'm probably not going to be making any content over on the spicy blog, as I feel like รђเՇ and can't bring myself to put a face on or brush my hair as it's still difficult to lift my arms due to muscle weakness and vascular pain. Whenever I don't post a selfie for awhile I get messages or comments asking where I am and if I am okay so I just wanted to post a blanket statement that my health is probably going to prevent me from taking a lot of bomb selfies for the forseeable future. 💜 I hope y'all understand.

#health update #selfies

[sillyguyhotline]

this is going to be a little incomprehensible just a bit as most of my meta is . and im sure that this has already been said at least 5 times. but like. tbh i think that every element of adam's situation exemplifies the inherent flaws of john's ideologies and how he applies them.

one of the things that john very steadfastly sticks to is the idea that his traps have to be escapable. in the "making of saw" behind the scenes video, they emphasize that his main goal is not to punish people for their sins or make them feel regret or whatever, it's to motivate them and make them more grateful for their lives. it's to give their lives meaning. however, it's kind of arguable that john took the meaning away from adam's life by making him nothing more than a pawn to teach lawrence a lesson. lawrence was the one who was actually meant to learn something from the bathroom trap. he was the one who'd given john the cancer diagnosis, who'd tried to cheat on his wife and wasn't happy with his marriage, and the onus fell on HIM to kill adam. adam was never given explicit directions that he had to escape, only that he had to not be killed by lawrence. and ofc there's the line "the pawn has done what the knight couldn't do" directed towards adam, all coming together to indicate that adam was never the focus of the game. there was, of course, justification for putting adam into the trap: he didn't do much with his life, he did a shady job in order to get by, and in the og script he was clearly suicidal. however, in the larger context of it all, we know that he was not on equal grounds with lawrence in terms of who the trap was supposed to test, and this justification seems more like an excuse than an actual reason. more of a "let's find a reason to put him in this" you know?

there's also the fact that it's pretty probable that adam only got trapped w lawrence because he'd been taking pics of him- john had obviously already been targeting lawrence from the start, since his diagnosis was what sparked his ideology into action, so it's very possible that adam only got included because of this brief connection they shared.

and to be perfectly fair, adam did everything right by john's rules. he was told that he had to prevent lawrence from killing him, and he did; he was alive, albeit injured, by the time the events of the trap ended. the mechanism that prevented him from escaping doomed him from the beginning, and no amount of effort or desire to live would have stopped the key from going down the drain. so this definitely points to the fact that john's traps aren't always about giving people a fair chance and asking them to go to great lengths to preserve their lives, as he would claim they are.

finally, even after adam's been fully abandoned in the bathroom to die, his actual death exemplifies more flaws in jigsaw's ideology. when amanda comes back to kill him once and for all, she does so out of pity. because she has arguably been the biggest example of jigsaw's failures: she survived his games, she became an apprentice, she wanted so desperately to find the meaning and direction in life that he'd promised she'd find after all her labors. but she never ended up finding that fulfillment, only delving deeper into her regrets. she could've let him escape, but why would she, if he'd only emerge a more broken person? so she killed him in order to free him once and for all.

adam was never meant to get out of the bathroom alive, and he was never meant to be anything more than a tool to teach lawrence a lesson. as much as john preached about how he was doing good and teaching people to value their lives, he ultimately discarded the value of adam's life and reduced him to nothing more than a pawn.

#im gonna maintag this but im also gonna tag it long post bc i dont think it's that good #but this is tumblr. when has anything on this site ever been good #saw #saw 2004 #adam faulkner stanheight #long post

[phanfictioncatalogue]

read this fic years ago where dan had cancer (would have been no later than 2017). I remember specifically (this is all I remember sorry!!) that there was a part where Phil buys broccoli at the store because he read it helps prevent cancer and dan gets upset and he’s like "you can't prevent something you already have." im 98% sure it had a happy ending bc I didn't read a lot of major character death. I had a look at some of the fics in the cancer tag and none of them seemed familiar, however I could have overlooked it as it's been so long since I read it. do you have any idea what it is? :) (also, it's amazing that this blog is still going after so many years!)

Does anyone know what this fic is?

- Tori

#answered #anonymous #not found #cancer tw #tw

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Does that mean Certain illness could be “cured” with magic over time 🤔 for example Cancer or maybe even ARS (Acute radiation syndrome also know as Radiation Sickness )?although I’m not really sure if that be Possible Since ARS damages your stomach and intestines, blood vessels, and bone marrow, (which makes blood cells)I’m really invested of Things work in Twisted wonderland or It’s history I mean there has to be more countries than just the 8 know right?IM TO INFESTED IN THIS😡

[Referencing this post!]

I don't think magic can actually cure chronic conditions, only treat them or alleviate symptoms brought on by them. I also don’t know if "fix" very deep physical damage (like if you’re on the verge of death or if you’ve lost a lot of blood), and especially not mental or emotional damage (otherwise why would therapy still be a thing in TWST).

It might work similarly to real life medicine, where if you catch certain conditions in early enough onsets, then they can be treated right away and prevented from advancing into late stages, where the symptoms significantly worsen. When I think of magic being used in medicine, I personally think of it more like... magic is another "tool" for precision and examination rather than a substitute for treatments. To me, potions are basically no different than medicines of the real world (except maybe with some enhanced effects like being able to instantly revitalize you or being able to instantly heal superficial burns), whereas spells are used to run diagnostic tests (like X-rays) and to do very precise procedures (like those robots made to assist with surgical procedures).

It would be cool if magical healers could actually manipulate cells or DNA to behave in a certain way, but that sounds extremely complicated and like it could get into some iffy territory with medical ethics (since they could classify as "invasive" treatment, and could lead into a slew of problems if there's a mistake made in altering someone at the molecular level). JDNASUIDAOYBDSDAB I'm probably being way too technical about this 😅

Mmm, to be fair, we don't know if the Twisted world is the same as ours size-wise. For all we know, their countries could be the equivalent to our real-world continents. It's also possible that there is more that we've yet to see. I think either possibility could be interesting, but we probably won't get to see more of the world until the next hometown visit event.

#twst theory #twisted wonderland theory #twisted wonderland theories #twst theories #notes from the writing raven

[kiango]

Weeping crying shitting

genuinely how am i supposed to survive without a dog. i think im dying. i want him back. i need him bacjk. this is a fucking nightmare WHY do other people's dogs get to live to old age and have grey muzzles and live their lives to the fullest when i did EVERYTHING FUCKING RIGHT and he died so fucking young. im doing to scream. i did everything. everything i physically could have. before he was even alive, even, i did everything to prevent. this exact thing from happening. and he is dead. its not fair its not fair its not FAIR!!!!! dogs are neglected and abused horribly all the time and live to be 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, and mine. 5. fucking 5. pampered from puppyhood and insured and religiously health checked and i get this shit.

i need him. i need him so bad. he didnt deserve to die like that. its. no one understands. no one. they all have had dogs die bhefore so they think they get it but they dont understand the enormity of what he was to me. he was all i had for a long time. he made me crawl from the deepest depths of my depression and he got me healthy and he made me a better person and he was my PARTNER. i LIVED with him in a STUDIO for 5 YEARS. I was ALONE in a new city with him. i did everything for him, everything in my life was tailored aroiund his comoft and happiness. the car? for him. the new house? for him. the old apartment? for him. the old job? for him. the current job? for him. my happiest was when i was giving all of myself to him and now hes. dead. hes fucking dead and i couldnt even be there for him in the end because no one KNEW that he had cancer so he. passed unexpectedly when he was being treated for his "illness" at the vet. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!!! FOR HIM!!!! he went in his sleep, thank god, but he was ALONE!!!I dont want to hear anyone saying that. maybe he preferred being alone. i know. but i needed to be there with him at the end. and i wasnt able to. everything is FUCKING empty and HORRIBLE and I NEED HIM BACK AND HES NOT BHACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HATE THIS!!!!! I FUCKING AM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND I HATE THIS!!!!! GIVE HIM BACK!!!!

[gayspock]

guys im peckish

something that always kinda.... i dont wanna say it frustrates me, bc i understand WHY its the case & i know its the better choice for most works... but i suppose, kind of? itches at me??? is the way AI in sooo much fiction is solely ever used with regards to comparing it to Humanness. and tht makes total sense- its not always abt exploring AI conceptually in of itself, but moreso using that as a means to explore deeper Human themes and again sometimes thats just better to leave it as that

but nonetheless it itchessss sometimes, yknow, from like a worldbuilding perspective to me. & also just... i dont know. when i hear ppls conception of what AI is in general- and in all fairness, AI in of itself is such a nebulous term - i get well. frowny. bc again its always such a ... human lense.... and idk maybe im being #autistic #compsci girlie but it sometimes just feels so... LIMITING and detrimental, and kind of misunderstanding like- when it comes down to it, ai? its math... ITS MATH. you know that right? all the way top to bottom its just freaking mathematics, its algorithms...

but anyway it just feels like. its HOLES in the fictional world sometimes. like- the actual sophistication behind developing something that's intelligent enough, and ON PAR with a thinking, feeling, freaking person... and for that to become, like, a widespread THING... like it sooo rarely ever lines up with the rest of the technology within the world they set it in?? bc theyy clearly on ever thought- mmhm mhmm (nods) thinking machines. they just programmed people immediately. went from A to B. and sometimes there's like in-universe reasons for things but like other times its crazzzyy like...

bc before we'd ever get to THAT point so many other, complex things would already have commonplace AI applications does that make sense. one billion specialised problems that could have been solved ten times over. or well maybe solved is the wrong word but it would have changed the face of technology soooo much... and i guess sometimes there IS in-universe reasoning for it- it could be a limitation of resources, it could be an issue of knowledge and understanding, it could be other societal influences that stop it, things such as policies that prevent it from being totally pervasive- but thats literally kind of what i mean, like... bc those are GOOD points but not always present . and they could be rlly interesting points of discussion and contention just there that kinda gets neglected

like im watching BSG and i keep thinking abt the only reason the galactica survived is because its more "out of date". and its like if eel like theyre always so vague about what technology theyre actually compromising on, here. or like... hell what technology did all of humanity compromise on after thefirst war... wheres the lines? is it JUST cylons? or were there compromises on everything? and how did they reel shit back?

like im thinking even just roslin and her cancer. already, like... in real life... ai has a LOT of medical applications. idk-i still kinda want to do a PHD in some sort of bioinformatics one day, LOL, if i'd ever get there but like... whilst i guess its mostly diagnosis and screening rn, my point is, i cant imagine how much more medicine could have advanced??? surely ir'd be unrecognisable. even just in terms of developing drugs, and medicine- genomics being sooooooo data dense, there's leaps and bounds that can be done with AI, or even research facilitated by ai. like if you have the capabilities of programming something as sophisticated as human consciousness, with that level of logic and reasoning....

LIKE ... its like again sth very human. this human idea of intelligence and what that means, and thinking of ai in a totally human capacity when its like. idk how to describe ittttt. i guess its like- there are so many tasks that a human cannot do that a machine could do, BUT it would be easier to have a machine implement those tasks, THAN achieving sentience with a machine??? like... no. a person could not piece together a human genome from data BUT a machine could quite easily.

and even just that like- squitns. i think im talking in circles my WHOLEEEE point is just... AGAIN. worldbuilding wise i feel like sooo much drops the ball there like bc writers dont rlly understand the full applications of artifical intelligence and what it can do and wahgh... im sniff... im just rambling arent i [goes into a corner embarassedddd]

#Egg.txt

[faiiryteethh]

Whats the deal with your shop? Why haven't you posted any clothes? I hope you're still making them you are so talented! 🥺 I'm just curious. I like seeing the clothes you make they are really cool and inspiring 💘

aw thank you so much🥰 and i fully intend to start posting items for sale again soon and i've been making tops and hats when i can but i've just had a lot going on in my personal life that has prevented me from putting 100% effort into making clothing. i don't like creating half-assed clothes. if i'm going to sell something i want it to be 100% perfect and made with my full attention and full effort. because that's what my customers deserve. my grandma was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and has been undergoing surgery and chemo treatments and i've had to stay at my moms house a lot to help her out, watch her house, and be there to support her. so i haven't been spending a lot of time at my own house. its been really hard for my family and i haven't had the time or motivation to create like i was a few months ago. i have so many plans and ideas and im trying to figure out a way i can still create and have time for everything else going on. im really scared my grandma isn't going to be around much longer. and i'm also scared for my mom. because i know its going to devastate her if she loses her mom. i also have my sons birthday coming up in august that i've been planning for. i've just had a lot on my plate.

i'm not done making clothes for good tho. i will get back into the swing of things. i just need some time to process everything thats been happening and deal with the emotions i've been going through. it really sucks watching your loved one die. and i can't show it because i need to be strong for my mom. she is my first priority right now. my shop will always be there. and luckily i am still a new shop owner so i don't have any orders waiting for me yet. so i'm taking my time and doing things as i feel comfortable enough to do them. thank you for the kind words and i promise i will have some product out in the future💜

#ask

[biteyourbetters]

some thoughts on the wandering earth II (spoilers under cut)

too bloody long

visuals: spectacular. plot: eh, dont think about it too hard. robots: not enough, but i liked the ones that existed. moon: kaboomed.

loved the worldbuilding though. they should have made a pseudo-documentary instead of a blockbuster.

hey, what was up with liu peiqiang locking the door? we're shown han duoduo repeatedly kicking your ass, she's clearly better than you at kicking ass yet you just leave her behind? are you an idiot? it's one thing if she were weaker, but she's supposedly stronger? could have at least shown a scene of him kicking her ass to justify this dumb fuck decision. was her stunt double too expensive or something? lmao

i don't know anything about the chinese mental health system, but i think sending tu hengyu to a grief counselor would have prevented at least one of the many disasters in this movie. blah blah insert justification about how grief is love and love is part of human condition and that love both saved them in the end and damned them in the first place.

someone was sobbing so fucking loudly at han duoduo's cancer scenes, i actually thought it was part of the movie at first. unfortunately, that means the only emotion i associate with that part of the movie is 'kinda annoyed'. ...now that i think about it, they might not have been crying. im going to say they were crying for my own piece of mind.

lots of reviewers complaining about the chinese military propaganda. i mean, yeah, but it's still got nothing on top gun maverick lmao. for real though, it's not even that bad. yall are just too used to american military propaganda.

some funny bits. i especially liked the gag about the russian bomb triggers having no safety, just two triggers. and that bit in the first act where liu peiqiang is told 'don't fall in love', sees a woman kick someone's ass and immediately imagines their marriage. really was too bad her badassery was to make her an especially sexy lamp instead of an actual character. /hj

bit in the movie where a fossil of a broken and healed femur was shown, and a story was told about human civilisation being about supporting each other or w/e. sorry, man, i get that it was supposed to be emotional and heartwarming, but all i could think of was this fucking site.

a bit that did make emotional though, was when liu peiqiang is wandering around the moon all confused and everyone waves him off bc they're too busy and his comm's broken. he doesn't know what the fuck is going on! everyone's on a suicide mission and he has no idea! i don't think there's any emotion worse to end a life on than confusion, except maybe fear. when the man contacted by zhang peng has to tap on liu peiqiang's helmet several times, that was when i realised, 'oh man, this guy is concussed as fuck'.

did they. ever explain who it was that organised the attack in 2044. pretty sure it was the digital lifers but like. they never expanded on it.

oh, ok, we're doing time travel now. hope they explain all the cuts to the cameras in the next movie.

apparently there were post credits. i chose the 9pm showing like an idiot bc i somehow did not register that the movie would be 3 fucking hours long, and had to bolt out of the cinema in order to not miss the last bus home. hope they're online somewhere.

read the synopsis for the first movie to jog my memory, and realised that i retained absolutely nothing from when i actually watched it. this will happen again when i watch the third movie.

#tldr i would not a call it a good movie but i enjoyed it. mostly for the setting. the characters and plot were meh. #would not recommend it to anyone but if you just want to sit in a cinema for 3 hours then this is the movie for you #the wandering earth #the wandering earth 2 #liu peiqiang #han duoduo