#posts and tags that make zero sense from yours truly

[gojooooo]

thinking about sukuna feeding yuuji’s finger to megumi and… it’s time to go right? this is what he wanted, isn’t it? he’s been waiting for so long. he’s been so patient. and now the cage is finally open. he’s free, he can leave. except he can’t. he can’t bring himself to leave yuuji. he should move but he’s frozen in place instead, panicking, resisting the feeling of slipping away.

#the cage is open yet you’re still in there #there’s something so Good about him going back to yuuji knowing it means he’ll be trapped/limited which is outrageous #but he needs that sort of closeness again. two halves of a whole two halves of a whole 😵‍💫 #posts and tags that make zero sense from yours truly #there are yuji and kuna floating around in my brain like fish cake floating around in a bowl of soup #so yeah. no coherent thoughts in here i’m afraid #my post

[wonlovie]

— ALWAYS.

After being broken up with, the cherry on top was receiving an invitation to your ex-boyfriend's wedding, leaving you breaking at the seams. Luckily for you, your childhood best friend is there to keep you together.

— starring. childhood bestfriend!jake x fem!reader ft. the slightest appearance of niki, mentions of ex!heeseung and le sserafim's chaewon (she was the first one i thought of LOL)

— tags. friends-to-lovers, slowburn, minor angst, jake is highkey a thigh guy, road trip!!, the oh-no-there's-only-one-bed trope several times over, smut [fem. masturbation while in the same bed, vaginal fingering, oral (f. receiving), handjob, very soft-dom!jake, first time, praising, unprotected sex, reader cries, use of petnames (princess, pretty girl, baby; he also calls you a whore/slut like,, twice) kind of but not really fwb situation [MINORS DNI]]

— word count. 14.3k

— notes. this is the first fic i've posted here!! i also started writing this like,, the day i got covid so if some sentences make zero sense it's because i was loopy af lmAOO on another note jake??? sim jake??? writing this wasnt good for my heart bc he was driving me insane the whOLE TIME

SIXTEEN DAYS.

When you got the invitation in the mail, a single piece of cardstock carefully decorated with ornate blue lace and beautifully handwritten script, you had half the mind to ignore it. Throw it in the trash, maybe. If the sender asked, you could feign innocence. It got lost in the mail, and perhaps I never received it at all.

Unfortunately for you, your conscience kicked you swiftly in the ass before you could even step on your trash bin pedal. 

Begrudgingly, you really had no choice but to go. After all, it was your cousin’s wedding—a day you had both raved about since you were young children. You could still recall the silly Pinterest boards you put together, regrettably filled with tacky and outdated decor. Your cousin, Chaewon, even called you before the invitation was sent to your box, her excited voice crawling out of your phone speaker and taunting you with sharp licks against your ear.

You should be happy. Really, you should. Aside from Lemon, your newly adopted Jindo puppy, Chaewon was your favourite. Despite moving across the country for university, you were there for her as she was for you. Not a single day went by without an hour-long phone call between the two of you, filled to the brim with conversation or spent in peaceful silence.

The issue wasn’t Chaewon. No, it was far worse than that. The issue was her husband-to-be, a man you despised with every cell of your being.

Lee Heeseung. In other words, your ex. 

It was jarring for you to see the very man who seemed to date you out of pity, never truly initiating intimacy or even trying to pretend to be interested in the things you’d tell him, be so sweet to Chaewon. You had, unfortunately, witnessed their love firsthand on multiple occasions. The longing glances, the whispered sweet nothings, the subtle caresses when they thought no one was looking. 

You hated how bitter you felt about it. His last words to you felt like they were tattooed onto your eyelids.

“I’m sorry, but… I don’t think we should date anymore. I think I’ve found someone else.”

Of course, you were heartbroken. Heeseung was your first boyfriend and your first love. You had tried so damn hard to be the receiver of his affections, but your efforts always fell short. The next week, Chaewon approached you with tears brimming her eyes, begging for forgiveness; you knew that whatever you had with Heeseung was officially history. 

Chaewon, the angel, denied his advances until you pushed her to say yes, as you knew she wanted to. 

And now, your decision had come full circle, the ugly truth rearing its head at you. Your feelings for Heeseung were long gone, but with the breakup came a hundred insecurities you didn’t know you had, hence the big move. Maybe with space, you could heal.

“Stupid,” you whispered as your eyes scanned the invitation for the nth time in the past ten minutes. You rubbed harshly at your eyes, forcing the tears away. With a shaking finger, you traced the wedding date, briefly glancing up at the dog calendar that hung on the wall next to your fridge. 

Gingerly dropping the invitation onto the kitchen counter, you quietly counted the days left. The wedding was just over two weeks away, a beautiful August wedding. You don’t know how long you stood there, goosebumps prickling on your thighs as the morning air brushed against them. Your oversized tee did little to combat the cold.

A quiet knocking at the door made you jump. Swearing under your breath, you swiped at your cheeks to rid any evidence of tears. You shuffled to the front door and peeked through the peephole. A man stood there, hands in his jeans pockets, as he waited for you to answer. However, his head was down, which blocked his face from view.

When you didn’t answer right away, he knocked again just as gently as he had before. This time, though, he called out your name. 

Startled, you paused with your hands pressed against the door, eyes still pressed against the peephole. You knew that voice, instantly recognizing the accent that spilled into his words. Pulling the door open, your suspicions were correct when you were met with your childhood best friend, Jake.

A wide grin pulled at the corners of your lips as you looked the man up and down. “Holy shit,” you started, laughter in your voice. “What are you doing here?” Stepping back to let him in, you eyed his wide shoulders as he bent over to untie his shoes. “You never said you were coming to visit.”

Jake lazily smiled up at you as he tugged off the last shoe. His eyes drifted down for a second, catching sight of your bare legs. Not a moment later, he averted them. “Damn, hello to you too, sweets.” When he stood to his full height, he leaned into a comfortable slouch, shoving his hands into the pockets of his well-worn jeans. “Chaewon didn’t tell you?” He tilted his head at you in question.

Shaking your head no, you headed to the kitchen where you left your phone. Finding your chatroom with Chaewon, you scanned the contents quickly. “Look—”

You turned to show Jake your previous texts, but as you swivelled on your heel, you hadn’t expected him to be so close. You jumped slightly, the small of your back pressing into the cool countertop as Jake hovered over you, seemingly inches away. You could practically count his every lash from your angle, not missing how his eyes scanned your face.

Apparently, he didn’t expect to be so close either, as the tips of his ears reddened. “My bad,” as he moved to give you space. He pushed back his hair—when had he dyed it blonde?— to see your screen better. Reading quickly, he snorted at Chaewon’s lack of warning for his arrival, her last message simply being: ;).

“I thought you knew I’d be coming, so I didn’t bother sending a text,” he explained. “Chae wants me to be your escort to the wedding.”

“My what?”

Jake grinned at you, flashing his pearly whites. “Y’know, your stead. Your chauffeur. Your knight in shining armour, if you will.”

“Those aren’t the same in the slightest, Jake.”

“You get what I mean, sweets.” 

You hummed, resting your palms atop the counter by your sides. “Why so early, though? The wedding isn’t for a couple of weeks.” He opened his mouth to say something, but a sharp yip from your bedroom interrupted him. You practically watched as elation flooded his senses when he spun on the spot, searching for the sound source.

Pushing yourself off the counter, you lightly bumped his shoulder with your own as you manoeuvred around him. “Looks like someone’s awake,” you sang as you headed down the hall. You could hear Jake’s heavier, sock-clad footsteps following you into your bedroom as you called out for Lemon.

The little pup bounded toward you, jumping from your bed with a tail that wagged so fast you were concerned she’d sprain it. With her tongue out, she hopped on her hind legs, unsure of whether she should greet you or Jake first. “Lemon, this is Jake,” you introduced as you picked her up. Gently moving her paw in a waving motion, you smiled at him. “Jake, this is the love of my life, Lemon.”

He sent you a teasing smile, “I thought that was my title.” You flushed at the unexpected remark. Before you could respond, he turned to Lemon with a soft expression. “Hi, Lemon. Hope you’re taking good care of sweets for me.” Cooing at the pup, he booped her nose.

Without a word, you motioned for him to follow you back to the living room, situating yourself on the small leather couch worn from years of hand-me-down use. Lemon hopped off your lap, her tail wagging as she beckoned Jake to sit down. He was quick to join you, sitting close enough for your knees to touch when Jake shifted his body to face you. You scanned him up and down.

He’d changed a bit, clearly, since the last you saw him. He wasn’t nearly as scrawny as before, his broad frame apparent from under his unzipped jacket. He had lost the baby fat in his cheeks, leaving behind a sharp jawline. The biggest change to note was his hair. Long gone were the black tresses, and in their place were soft blond locks.

In other words, he was hot.

“When did this happen?” you asked as he shrugged his jacket off, reaching up to twist a strand with your finger. “It looks good on you.”

Jake sent you a teasing look, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. “You would’ve known I went blond like a month and a half ago if you actually read your messages,” he chided, clicking his tongue. His eyes stayed on you, flitting across your face.

“Whatever,” you hushed, “I’ve just been busy with school.” It's a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that. No one needed to know that you’ve spent the last few months acting like a heartbroken teen when you were a grown adult. Despite Jake having seen the worst parts of you in high school, you still wanted him to hold some esteem for you.

For a second, it was quiet aside from Lemon’s quiet sniffing, her nose working quickly on Jake’s discarded coat. Jake held eye contact with you, a silent question reflected in his eyes. 

“It’s still weird to me.”

Raising a brow, you rested your elbow on the back of the couch, resting your head against your palm. “What is?”

He stayed silent for a minute before leaning back against the couch, turning his head slightly to face you. “I can’t just walk down the block to annoy you now. Now, you’re four hours away unless I want to spend a few hundred on a plane ticket.” He stuck out his tongue, “‘Dunno why you didn’t stay.” His voice was light, teasing, but you could hear a slight edge to his words.

You huffed, “You know exactly why I left.”

For a moment, neither of you said anything. When Heeseung broke up with you, Jake was the first one you told. Despite being an incoherent, blubbering mess over the phone, he came the instant he heard the first sob rack your body. That night, he held you without a word until your tears ran dry.

“You still hung up about it?”

Pausing, you shook your head. “No,” you bit your lip, not catching the way his eyes darted down to watch, “not anymore, anyway. I don’t feel anything for Heeseung if that’s what you’re asking.” You cracked a sardonic smile at him, punching his shoulder and chuckling when Lemon followed your movement. “Not that pathetic yet, Jake.”

He fully turned his body to you, the leather couch squeaking under his shifting weight. His golden hair fell into his eyes as he bore into yours. “I was there, remember?” His voice was gentle as if he was worried he’d scare you off. “I know it hurt more than you’re letting on. It wasn’t that long ago.”

You silently cursed him for still being able to read you so well, even after so long apart. Absentmindedly, you tugged on the hem of your shirt, playing with the edge that was starting to fray after years of use. Jake leaned forward, placing a warm hand on your bare thigh. “I’ll be there the whole time. If you want me to, I’ll stay right beside you the whole night.”

Your eyes darted to where his large hand rested on your skin, swallowing harshly. “Yeah,” you whispered, looking back up at him through your lashes. “That’d be… really nice, Jake.” You shakily exhaled; his proximity and his touch made your every nerve go haywire. Since when did Jake, your best friend since you were in diapers, have this effect on you? Looking up at the mop of messy blond on his head, you blamed the change in colour.

Jake didn’t say anything for a while but never moved his hand. The two of you sat there, staring into each other's eyes. Lemon had long ago gotten comfy in the small space between you, round eyes closed in rest. “I’ll always be there for you, you know that, right?” He said finally, voice barely above a whisper.

You could only nod, your every thought directed to the hand on your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside of your leg.

You offered Jake your shower while you went to get his luggage from his car. At first, he refused, telling you that he could get the luggage himself and take a shower afterward, but you had practically shoved him into the bathroom, claiming he smelt bad from the drive. 

Truthfully, he smelt good as ever, having always possessed an addicting scent to you.

Besides, this way, you could clear your head with some fresh air as you left and headed to your apartment parking lot. Easily spotting his car, much newer than any of the models your neighbours had, you jogged over to it. Once inside, you noted how clean the car was, coming as somewhat of a surprise to you. A carwash receipt peaked out from the middle console.

Lugging his suitcase out from the backseat, you were quick to make your way back, lest Jake be left without clothes for too long. Shutting your front door behind you, you nearly let out a scream when, on cue, Jake emerged from a cloud of steam, donning only your fluffy blue towel. He hadn’t noticed you yet, using another towel to shake out the excess water from his hair.

Unknowingly, your eyes followed a bead of water as it trailed down his toned body, disappearing under the towel that threatened to unravel itself, sending your mind into a frenzy. Turning around before he could realize that you were ogling at him like some pervert, you cleared your throat. “Got your suitcase,” you forced out. “You can change in my room if you want.”

“Ah, thanks, sweets.” You listened for his footsteps, tensing as they came closer. “Why so shy?” He inquired with a chuckle at the tip of his tongue. “‘S not like you’ve never seen me naked before.”

“Jake, we were five.”

“Still,” he laughed. You were startled when he patted your shoulder, gently turning you to face him more. You swallowed harshly at the sight of his naked chest up close. “Joking. Thanks for grabbing my stuff.” Without another word, he turned around and disappeared behind your bedroom door.

Letting out a breath, you pressed your forehead against the cool surface of your front door, holding a hand over your heart. Lemon’s tiny paws brought her over to you, the click clicks of her nails against the hardwood taking your attention away from your thoughts. She looked up at you, her head tilted as though she was questioning you. “I must be going crazy, huh?” You knelt down to let her jump on you, her front paws pressing into your leg. 

“Layla’d love her,” Jake’s voice interrupted. You looked up to see him dressed in comfy attire, a dim disappointment settling in your stomach. “You hungry? I can order something for us.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up. “You’re my guest, Jake. I can order.” You pulled out your phone and open a delivery app. Before you could get too far, the phone was taken from your grasp, left in Jake’s palm as he stared at you in challenge.

With a shake of his head, he denied you. “I may be your guest, but you’re also housing me for two weeks. Plus, I haven’t seen you in forever.” He hunched over to meet your eyes, “My treat. You can pay next time, promise.”

By the time the food arrived, you and Jake had settled in on the couch, a random movie playing on the TV. Quiet chatter filled the space. The movie had already been forgotten, acting as mere background noise to your conversation. You dug into your food without missing a beat, covering your mouth to retort whenever Jake would make a jab at you. 

“You never got to answer my question,” you prompted, putting down your chopsticks and resting the take-out container on the coffee table. “Why’d you come so early? Why not closer to the wedding?”

You watched Jake pause, his expression unreadable. “Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to see you?” he asked, voice low as he turned to look at you. His blond hair had been pushed up and back so many times strands framed his face, allowing you to see all of it. “Because I do,” he continued, shrugging as if he weren’t making your heart race, “I want to see you. All the time.”

Unsure of how to respond, you sputtered for a moment before turning away, your cheeks warm. “I’ve wanted to see you too,” you mumbled, “so thanks. For coming.”

“For you? Always.”

Rolling your eyes, you bumped Jake with your shoulder. “When did you get so cheesy?”

Jake pulled his lower lip under his teeth for a second, biting at the plump flesh as he mulled over an answer. “Just missed you, is all.”

Nodding, you turned your head to watch the rest of the movie. It was confusing since neither of you watched the first half. Beside you, Jake turned to do the same. If either of you noticed how the space between you had become nonexistent, thighs and shoulders pressed together, no one said a word. You couldn’t complain, enjoying how Jake’s warmth seeped through his clothes and into your skin.

Without realizing it, the both of you fell asleep. The TV had gone dark after hours of inactivity, the moon lighting up the room with a dark hue. Jake awoke first, grumbling when his neck had a familiar ache in it. But when he went to roll his shoulder, something was in the way. Or rather, someone. He turned, pursing his lips to stay quiet as he realized you were leaning on him.

Your legs were draped over his own, something you must’ve done in your sleep. Or maybe it was him searching for a source of warmth in the coolness of the night. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, your head fitting directly in the crook of his neck. He felt his skin burn as he swore quietly. Pulling out his phone, he glanced at the time.

3:02 a.m.

As slowly as he could, he hooked one arm under your knees and the other around your back. Standing, he hoped his racing heart wouldn’t wake you. Jake maneuvered the dark apartment as best he could without accidentally hitting your head against the walls of your hallway. Luckily, you left your bedroom door open, so he didn’t need to figure that out somehow. 

Lemon was already asleep, curled up on your left pillow. Carefully, he laid you down on the bed, pushing away stray hairs on your face afterward. He stayed there for a moment, staring at your peaceful expression. His heart warmed, a tingly feeling in his belly erupting at the sight of you. He tugged the blanket over your body, pressing a finger to his lips when Lemon startled awake.

Tucking you in, he hovered for a minute before pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Night, sweets,” he whispered before moving to his feet. Before he could get very far, a hand shot out from under the blanket and weakly grasped at his wrist. Turning, Jake held a breath at the sight of your sleepy eyes gazing up at him. “Only have one bed,” you slurred, sleep taking over your speech. “Sleep here.”

Jake balked at you, hands subconsciously balling at his sides. “Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch—”

“No! Sleep here.” You didn’t give him much room to argue as you scooted backwards to give him some room before lifting the blanket in invitation. This movement bugged Lemon, clearly, as she moved from your pillow to lay in the nook of your bent legs. “Come on, we’ve slept in the same bed before.”

Swallowing at the sight of you, eyes barely open and shirt riding up further than he could handle, Jake relented, knowing you would keep arguing with him until daylight. The last time we slept in the same bed, you were bawling your eyes out over Heeseung, he stopped himself from saying. The thought lingered as he crawled in next to you, keeping a respectful distance. 

Satisfied, you allowed your heavy lids to close, a small, contented smile painted on your lips. “G’night, Jake.”

He sighed. “Good night, sweets.”

You fell asleep instantly, hand resting on the pillow in front of your face. Jake mirrored your position, your pinkies centimetres from touching. He observed the slow rise and fall of your chest and the occasional sniffs when your hair would fall and tickle your nose. His eyes traced your every feature, from the curve of your cheek to your supple lips. 

Jake did not sleep well that night.

FOURTEEN DAYS.

Two days after Jake had made an appearance, he quickly fell into a routine with you. He would wake up first and have a cup of coffee ready for you whenever you’d sleepily bound into the kitchen. A bowl of cereal would already be sitting on the counter, the jug of milk sitting beside it. Your mornings were quiet as you both woke up, only a raspy “good morning” before you’d sit in silence over your bowls.

It had been a long time since you had such normalcy, and you’d be lying if you said you hated it.

“Hey,” he started, only half done chewing his cereal. “We have, like, two weeks left until we actually need to be in Seoul, right?”

You eyed him suspiciously for his cheery tone so early in the morning. Swallowing your food first, you nodded. “Yeah, but Chae wants us back at least two days before in case things need fixing or whatever.” Sipping your coffee, you raised a brow at him, “Why?”

Grinning at you, he leaned over to grab your arm in excitement. Your eyes darted to where you connected, noting how his thumb immediately started rubbing the inside of your wrist, making you cross your legs under the table. “Let’s make our trip back a road trip!”

You blinked. “Jake. You drove here—it was already going to be a road trip to go back.”

Jake threw his head back in a groan, inadvertently showing you his Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down. You followed the movement down to his wide shoulders before looking away a second before he straightened up to meet eyes with you. “Dummy, I know that. Let’s make it a fun road trip with loads of stops and everything!” He talked animatedly, waving his hands with reckless abandon. “There are lots of small towns and pitstops on the way to Seoul, but we’ve never actually explored them.”

“How do you know I haven’t?”

Jake looked at you as if you had grown two heads. “If you have and I wasn’t invited, your best friend card is being revoked this instant. You hear me? Revoked.”

Laughing, you stood and grabbed both of your empty bowls. “Fine, we can have your fun road trip. You’re doing all the planning, though, since it was your idea.” You tilted his coffee mug toward you to see if he had finished it, placing it back where it was when you saw the brown liquid still swirling inside. He followed you to the sink, sleeves already rolled up when you placed the porcelain into the basin.

You didn’t say anything when he gently pulled you to the side and grabbed the sponge to start cleaning. “I already have the route!” He told you, not taking his eyes off the dishes. “It’s in my phone. You can look—it’s in the notes app.” Peaking at you through his lashes, he nodded his head in the general direction of where he left his phone. “Password’s still the same.”

You snorted, picking it up from the table before joining him at the sink, hopping up on the counter beside him. As you entered your birthyear into the phone, you didn’t catch the way he eyes your thighs, your shorts doing little to nothing to cover up the way they flattened slightly against the cool marble. “Y’know,” you started, ripping him out of his thoughts, ushering him to quickly place the bowls and spoons onto your drying rack. “This is a shitty password. You’re gonna get robbed one day.”

 He shrugged, pulling the hand towel off your oven’s handle to dry his hands. You watched him, silently ogling at the veins that popped out in his forearms when he turned to replace the towel. “Maybe, but it’s important to me.”

“My birth year?”

He grinned at you with a simple nod, standing between your thighs. His eyes fell to them once more when you absentmindedly spread your legs to give him room to stand. Biting the inside of his cheek, he shakily rested his palms on either side of you, moving slow enough for you to object if you were uncomfortable. "It's the year my favourite person was born, after all." You didn’t say anything, instead looking back at his phone screen.

He watched as your eyes flit back and forth as you read, his fingers itching to move closer to you, to touch your skin. He opted to curl his fingers until his nails dug into his palms. “When did you figure this out?” You asked, smiling at the title of the note.

Sweets and Jake’s Road Trip !!!

“Last night, while you slept.”

You shot him a look, searching for eye bags. You were relieved when you didn’t see any, but you punched his shoulder nonetheless. “Idiot. If you can’t sleep, you can wake me, you know? You don’t have to stay up by yourself.” You placed a hand on his forearm, rubbing your thumb over a jutting vein just as he had to you moments before.

His urge to touch you grew stronger, and he felt his mental fortitude crumbling at the contact. Clearing his throat, Jake shrugged. “You’re cute when you sleep, princess. Didn’t want to wake you.” Moving away before your scent could drive him any more insane, he rubbed the back of his neck. “So? What’s the verdict?”

Lips parted from his casual slip of a nickname you’d never heard from him before, you dumbly nodded. “Good. It’s good. Let’s do it.” You hopped down from the counter, Jake’s hands immediately moving to steady you once you got on your feet. “When do we leave?”

Jake grinned at you, revealing his canines. “Whenever you’re ready, sweets.”

You returned the smile, excitement starting to affect you. “Let’s get ready then, shall we?”

It didn’t take either of you very long to get your suitcases and essentials put together. Jake had mostly kept his things in his suitcase, only pulling out clothes he needed for the day or toiletries that you didn’t have any to spare. Two toothbrushes sat in a cup instead of the usual one, and the sight made you grin as you collected your things. Chaewon had your dress up in Seoul, so you didn’t need to worry about any of that either.

An hour after Jake proposed the road trip, he was waiting outside, one hand clasped over both of your luggage handles, the other holding Lemon’s carrier as you locked the door. The two of you walked out to his car in silence, the crisp morning air making you shiver under your thin jacket. “It’s still summer,” you complained in a long drawl, “why is it so fucking cold in the morning?”

Jake laughed at you, thanking you when you opened the back door of his car for him and carefully slid the luggage and carrier in. “Relax, princess, I’ll turn the heat on just for you, yeah?”

You grumbled at his teasing, taking your spot in the passenger seat without a word as he held the door open for you. You watched him jog around the car to reach his side, never taking your eyes off him as he fiddled with the A/C. As he turned the ignition on, he handed you his phone. “Put something on for me, will you?” 

As he drove, you noted the fact that he drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on the middle console. His arms were exposed in the black tee he wore, seemingly not as affected by the cold as you were. You willed yourself not to notice how the shirt was unfairly form-fitting, wrapping around the bulk of his bicep in a way that was sending you spinning. 

The first stop was five minutes away from your apartment as Jake pulled into the parking lot of a nearby convenience store. Jake unrolled the windows a bit for Lemon, telling her to be good as the both of you exited the vehicle. Once inside, you shivered at how strong the store had its A/C running. 

Eyeing you, Jake sent you a smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll be quick.”

Without another word, you followed as Jake made his way through the different aisles, picking up snacks that you easily recognized as some of your favourites. Even grabbing a heat pack, he waved it at you teasingly. “Weirdo, needing a heat pack in the middle of August.”

You sputtered, “Wha— I never asked you to—”

Interrupting you with a bark of a laugh, he shook his head. “Just poking fun. C’mon, let’s go. Lemon’s probably waiting for us.” You huffed but didn’t argue as he pulled you to the front cashier by the hand. You trained your sight on your connected hands, moving them so your fingers interlaced. Jake briefly looked down at what you’d done, but if it bothered him, he didn’t say anything.

“Oh, it’s you!”

To both your surprise and Jake’s, the cashier’s eyes lit up when he saw you. “We had English together,” he filled in when you didn’t seem to recognize him. “We were in a group project together for the final?” You blinked a few times before making a noise of recognition.

“Riki! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you with the new hair,” you explained, glancing at his newly dark brown hair. “It was blond before. Looks good now, though!” You gave him a thumbs up. Before he could reply beside you, Jake cleared his throat. Both you and Riki looked at him, realizing that the latter hadn’t even started ringing your items through, and there was a bit of a line behind you.

Riki immediately started scanning the snacks Jake had brought, never taking his eyes off you. “What’re you up to this summer? I haven’t seen you at all since the semester ended.”

You hummed, “My cousin’s wedding is in two weeks, so Jake and I—” You nudged him, not noticing how quiet he had gotten. “—are driving back to Seoul right after this.”

The younger boy nodded, glancing over at Jake before looking down at your hands. You forgot they were still intertwined, but Jake's grip tightened when you went to let go. You dropped your head to hide how warm your cheeks felt, biting your lip lightly. “Ah,” Riki put down the scanning gun, his tone noticeably less happy. “₩9000, please.”

Jake threw a few crumpled notes on the counter before bowing his head slightly in goodbye, tugging you toward the exit wordlessly. You waved at Riki over your shoulder before walking quickly to fall in step with Jake. “You okay? You were quiet in there, and then you pulled us out like that.”

Jake only nodded, carelessly tossing the bag of snacks into the back with your luggage. “Here,” he tossed you the heat pack, already cracked and warming up. He opened your door again without further explanation before taking his own seat.

You stared at his profile in confusion, the heat pack already doing its job on your frigid hands. As he pulled back onto the road, you glanced at his hand, which rested over the middle console as it had before.

Curiously, you turned his wrist until his palm was facing upward. Jake watched you from the corner of his eye, only turning his head when he reached a red light. He hadn’t expected you to put your hand in his, interlocking your fingers once again. “Your hands are warmer,” you mumbled, leaning back to get comfortable. In shock, Jake hadn’t taken his eyes off of you.

Smiling tightly at him, you squeezed his hand. “The light’s green.”

Snapping his head forward, he coughed as he focused on the road. For the next while, your hand would stay in his. The ride to the next town was spent in silence, with you mouthing the lyrics to songs you recognized from his playlists. 

In Jake’s phone, he had written that you were to stay at motels in towns along the way. When you protested at the cost it would be, he simply argued with it’s for the experience, sweets. And no worries! I’m paying for the whole trip. And when you argued with that last bit, he only replied, if I see your wallet at all, I might have to fight you.

Your first real stop was in a small fishing village, the last coastal town you’d see before you started driving inland. The morning chill was gone, replaced with the comforting warmth of the summer sun. Despite that, you didn’t let go of Jake’s hand until you had to get out of the car. Stretching your limbs, you groaned when you felt and heard some joints pop. 

You inhaled deeply, closing your eyes as you took in the smell of the ocean and the distant chatter of nearby townspeople. The motel Jake brought you to was a little rundown; it was obvious that it had been around for quite some time. The paint was peeling a bit, and the shingles on the roof made it look dated, but it had a cozy feel to it. Besides, it was the only dog-friendly motel in the area, so you couldn’t afford to be choosy.

“Hello,” the old woman at the receptionist's desk greeted you kindly, eyes shifting from you to Jake. You smiled at her, bowing your head in respect. Besides you, Jake did the same with that easygoing grin of his. “How may I help you?”

“A room for two, please,” said Jake.

The woman nodded, looking over at the remaining room keys. Grabbing one, she handed it over to you before telling Jake how much it’d cost. As Jake fumbled with his wallet, the old woman looked at you fondly. “You two are precious,” she informed you with an air of nostalgia, her wrinkled hand resting atop her chest over her heart. “I remember when me and my late husband were your age.”

You blushed at her insinuation that you and Jake were together but found that the idea wasn’t as jarring as you thought it’d be. You couldn’t tell if Jake didn’t catch the comment or chose not to reply as he handed her the money she needed. 

It wasn’t hard to find your room out of the ten total, and you were pleased to see that the coziness of the outside continued inside. Jake wheeled your luggage in while you opened Lemon’s carrier, letting her roam free in the room, sniffing the foreign air. The room itself wasn’t too big, consisting of the main room that could only fit a single queen bed and not much else and a bathroom that was longer than it was wide. 

“It’s like we’re teens again,” you giggled at Jake, shrugging off your jacket. “We’re sharing beds often.”

Jake let out a breath at the realization that there really was only one bed again and nodded stiffly. He supposed that was his fault for not mentioning how many beds you needed. “I guess so,” he gazed at you tenderly. “You sure you don’t mind?”

You rolled your eyes at him, “You can cut the gentleman act with me, Jake. If I minded, I would’ve said something already. We shared a bed in my apartment, remember?”

Of course I remember, he thought, it was driving me crazy.

In truth, Jake hasn’t been able to sleep because of how cuddly you were in your sleep. He’d purposely lay as far as he could from you so as not to give in to any temptations, but it seemed like you had other plans whenever you laid your head to rest. Not two minutes after he’d heard your soft snores, your hands were reaching for him, pulling you closer to his torso until you were snuggled up against him. 

He may have only been staying with you for two days, but he’s had to take just as many cold showers before you woke up.

“Do you wanna go on a walk?” you asked once the two of you settled. Lemon sat by your feet, circling them by looping under the chair you sat on to entertain herself. “It’d be nice to venture out! I think poor Lemon’s a bit restless from the carrier.” You bent over to rub behind her ears, to which she let out a yip of approval.

Jake smiled softly at the sight before nodding. “Let’s go, then.”

Thankfully, Lemon was an off-leash dog and stayed close by as you walked the streets of an unfamiliar town. In the distance, seagulls cried out to each other as fishing boats pushed off from the harbour. The sound of the sea lulled you into a peaceful reverie. You and Jake walked side by side, fingers brushing against each other every so often.

“It’s nice here,” you mumbled, “we should have done this sooner.”

Jake hummed, the low noise rattling in your ears. You closed your eyes as you walked, fully trusting Jake to guide you if you were going to walk into anything. He smiled softly at the sight of your relaxed demeanour, moving to hold your hand. You walked in silence for a bit before you reached the shore. Jake spotted some beach chairs, pulling you along. Lemon bounded ahead, happy to have room to run. You cracked open your eyes in time to see her jump into the water, barking happily as she entertained herself.

“Next time, you should bring Layla,” you suggested as you sat down. 

Jake smiled down at your hands. “Yeah, next time.”

Silence fell upon you, but it wasn’t unwelcome. You both watched Lemon as she played in the water, occasionally coming up to bring you a rock she had found before hopping back into the puddles the tide was creating. All the while, your hands stayed clasped, with Jakes's thumb rubbing familiar circles on the back of your palm.

“Why did you move so far?”

You halted, your smile slipping. “You asked me already.”

“But you weren’t being completely truthful with me.” He looked at you, concern shining in his eyes. “You’re not over it, are you?”

The topic dampened your mood, your heart rate rising as you avoided eye contact. “I told you already, Jake. I don’t love Heeseung anymore. I’m fine,” you pressed, lying through your teeth. Lying to Jake always left a bitter taste in your mouth, as you knew he could tell immediately that it wasn’t the truth. “What kind of cousin would I be if I were still in love with her groom-to-be?”

Jake’s frown deepened. “You have the right to be hurt—”

“But I’m not! So drop it.” Your outburst garnered the attention of a few townspeople who were out and about, causing you to flush in embarrassment. Lowering your voice, you stared down at the rocky beach, digging your dirtied trainers into the course sand. “I’m fine.”

Unbelieving, Jake continued, “It’s just… I thought you had enough reason to stay.”

His words made you look up, annoyed at how much he was pressing the topic on you. “Clearly, I didn’t.” Shaking your head, you dropped his hand before standing to your feet and dusting off imaginary dirt from your pants. You looked down at him, a mistake as you were forced to look at his hurt expression, lip trembling as he stared up at you open-mouthed. “I’m going back.”

He only watched your back as you walked away, beckoning Lemon to follow. The poor puppy got out of the water, shaking off the excess. She ran toward you but paused and looked back at Jake. She tilted her head as if she were asking Aren’t you coming? before running after you.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, shellshocked, until he realized that the sun was starting to set. Deciding he had been out there long enough, Jake slowly made his way back to the motel. When he got to your room, he hesitated, knowing that you could easily lock him out for the night if you were still upset with him since you had the only key.

Jake stood there, mulling over whether or not he should try knocking, but before he could even decide, the door opened. He was met with you, tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. “Don’t just stand there,” you opened the door more for him to come in. His heart broke at the sight of you and at how wet your voice sounded, as if you had just finished crying.

“Sweets, I’m sorry—” 

You shook your head, holding up a hand to stop him. “No, you did… you did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have exploded at you like that or left you alone out there.” You looked down in shame, gnawing at your bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

He was quick to lift your chin with two fingers, keeping them there as he rested his other hand on your upper arm. “Hey, no, none of that. I shouldn’t have pushed you when you obviously didn’t want to talk about it.” He pushed your hair behind your ear before bringing you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your head in his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head before muttering in your ear, “I’m sorry, sweets. I promise I won’t ask about it until you tell me you’re ready.”

You let go of the hug, but Jake kept you close in his arms. Looking into his eyes with welled-up tears, you pouted slightly, bringing his gaze downward. “You’re sure you’re not upset with me?”

“With you, never, sweets.”

You opened your mouth but closed it before you could say anything. Hugging him again, your voice came out muffled. “Wanna sleep.”

Jake chuckled at you, dropping his head in disbelief. “Okay.”

Not long after, you were both situated in bed, with Lemon lying at your feet like usual. As he had for nights before, Jake kept his distance, but you quickly changed that. For the first time, you cuddled up to him while you were awake, fully aware of your actions. Jake’s breath halted as he felt you nuzzle your face into the soft fabric of his tee, which smelt so strongly of him that it was all you could smell. “I love you,” you whispered into his skin, sending his brain into a frenzy. “You’re the bestest friend I could’ve ever asked for.”

Jake could practically hear the record screech in his head, gritting his teeth a bit before relaxing his jaw to leave another soft kiss against your temple. “I love you too, sweets.”

The day had exhausted him more than he’d realized. For the first time in two days, Jake found himself falling asleep right after you, holding you tightly against his chest.

You awoke to the feeling of something warm attached to your neck. A quiet moan escaped your lips when the something bit down. You felt large hands explore the expanse of your side, your sleeping shirt pushed far up. Something hard poked against your thigh as you angled your head upward.

Your eyes fluttered open as you realized it was Jake, groaning as he nipped at your skin, leaving behind blossoms of red and purple. You moved your hips closer to his, gasping when his growing hard-on made contact with your clothed sex. “Fuck, baby, you don’t know what you do to me,” he uttered, his deep voice going straight to your groin. Your panties, you were sure, were already soaked with your slick.

“Please,” you whined as he bit down harder, and his hand roamed higher, tracing the curve of the underside of your breast with his fingers. His mouth felt oh-so-hot on your skin, and his teasing touch did little to alleviate it. “Show me, Jake. Show me what I do to you.”

He pulled back, ignoring the noise of disappointment you made. His eyes looked impossibly dark as he hovered over you, chest heaving. “Be careful what you wish for, pretty girl.” He easily flipped you onto your back, slotting himself between your legs. You moaned loudly when he ground his hips against yours, allowing you to feel just how hard he’d gotten. 

His lips met yours in a hungry kiss, tongue forcing itself past your lips to lick into your mouth. His hands moved wildly, pushing your shirt up until your breasts were fully uncovered, nipples pebbling in exposure to the cold air. “So beautiful,” he groaned into your ear as one hand kneaded your left breast. “Fuck, gonna make you mine, yeah? You want that?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed pathetically, a sob of need ripping through your throat as his free hand made its way to your shorts. “Please, Jake, need you so badly.”

He groaned again, pushing past the elastic waistband and guiding his fingers into your soaked panties. He moved down to collect your wetness and…

You breathed in harshly when you woke up, your heart racing faster than it ever had before. You blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness of the room, remembering where you were. Your chest heaved as you tried to calm yourself down, your face burning. Oh my god, you thought in slight mortification.

Jake’s arm rested over your middle, you realized, as he spooned you from behind. Your startle hadn’t woken him, his soft snores sounding in your ear canals. You were relieved that he wasn’t awake to ask why you woke up so violently because how were you to explain that it was because you were having a wet dream about him?

The dull feeling of disappointment had settled into your gut from having been interrupted before the dream could get good, a feeling that came with shame at how indisputable your horniness was. You’d never dreamed of Jake in such a light, but now you were worried that you wouldn’t be able to rid yourself of the sight of his eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure as he ground against you—

No. You need to stop.

Turning your head to groan into the pillow, you became hyper-aware of how wet you were, your panties sticking uncomfortably to your pussy. You pressed your legs together, silently willing the pulsing of your clit to calm down and let you fall asleep again. If you fall asleep, you might forget about this in the morning.

“Stop moving,” Jake’s tired voice scared you, making you jump. He used his arm to pull you closer against him, your hand against your mouth to stop yourself from making any noise. Not long after, you heard his deep breaths again, signalling that he’d fallen asleep. 

Fuck, you were screwed. You closed your eyes tightly, but all you could think about was how firm and warm he felt. Pressed against him like this, you could almost feel everything. From his tone chest and legs to his soft length, pressing against your backside. His gray sweats and your flimsy shorts barely acted as a barrier between you. Stretching your legs out, you realize that Lemon had hopped off the bed at some point, likely to sleep in her carrier.

Without thinking, your shaky hand made its way down your front, actively avoiding his arm. You bit your lip harshly as you slipped a finger underneath your shorts, listening carefully to ensure he wasn’t awake. This is crazy, you have never thought of doing something so indecent in front of Jake, but the idea was sending you into a frenzy. 

You fingertip made contact with your slit, and you had to stop yourself from moaning aloud at just how wet you were. Slowly, you rubbed circles around your clit, jolting slightly at the initial contact. Maybe it was from the dream or the fact that Jake was right there, but you felt more sensitive than usual, holding in whimpers with every movement.

“F-fuck,” you accidentally let out, screwing your eyes shut as you moved your hand faster. In the quiet stillness of the night, you could hear your slick with every flick of your wrist. If Jake woke up, there’d be no question to what you were doing, but the thought only spurred you on more.

Using your other hand to grope yourself over your shirt, you teased your entrance, easily inserting a finger. It wasn’t enough, your finger failing to fill you up how you know Jake’s would, a thought that forced out a rather loud moan.

Realizing how loud you were, you paused and listened to his breathing. Before you could even register that his breaths weren’t as deep as they were before, his arm tightened around you.

“Naughty fucking girl,” he hissed into your ear, pulling your hand out of your panties. You didn’t have time to feel humiliated before he rolled you onto your back, his thighs pressing into your waist as he sat on top of you. The look he gave you was just like the one he had in your dream, eyes dark and pupils full-blown, eyebrows furrowed together in desperate need.

“Touching yourself like that while my arm’s around you,” he spat, leaning until he was mere inches away from your face. “Thinking I wouldn’t wake up. Needed me that badly, yeah?”

It was clear that you were shocked, wide-eyed and jaw agape. Not once in your lifetime of friendship with Jake had you seen this feral side to him. You felt his hardening length when he pressed his hips down and groaned. “Come on, sweets. I know you’re smarter than that. You can answer me with words like a big girl.”

You smacked your lips together in disbelief before nodding slowly. “Yeah,” you stuttered. “Need you so bad, Jake.” Your own words surprised you, his boldness rubbing off on you. “Dreamt of you,” you confessed.

Jake raised a brow at you, laying his hand flat on your side. “Yeah? Was I touching you,” he used his hand to push up your shirt, moving faster than his dream counterpart had and groping at your breast, flicking his thumb over the hardening bud. “Like this?”

Nodding fervently, you bit your lip to hold in your moans as he handled you. He clicked his tongue using his other hand to pull at your bottom lip until it was released from your teeth. “Wanna hear you, princess. You had no problem moaning while I was asleep. Unfair to hide them in front of me now, isn’t it?”

He bent down to take your other nipple in his hot mouth, his searing tongue darting out to circle the sensitive bud. His eyes never left yours, watching your expressions as you arched your back to his ministrations. He let go of your nipple, only to blow cold air on it, making you whimper. “What else did I do, pretty?” He asked, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. “Did I make you feel good?”

“Fuck,” you cried when he thrust his hips against you, giving you a hint as to what was to come. “Made me feel so good, Jake.” You threw your head back as he continued, shallowly thrusting against your clothed core. You weakly pointed at your neck. “Kissed me here,” you sighed when he leaned forward to leave kitten licks against your neck, nipping gently at the skin. “And…”

He bit down on the skin under your ear, using his tongue to soothe the mark before kissing up to your earlobe. “And?” His deep voice resonated within you, making you shiver.

“And then you…” You trailed off, instead opting to run a hand down your front to the waistband of your shorts, not missing the way his eyes followed. “Touched me here.” Tapping over your clothed clit, you avoided his gaze out of shyness, still in disbelief of this situation. “Then I woke up.” Your voice was weak, doused in lust and need for the man in front of you.

He smirked at you, moving back so he could pull your shorts off, leaving you in your oversized tee—an old shirt of his he’d given you before you moved—and your soaked baby blue panties. Even in the dark, he could see how wet you were, the thought making him groan as he palmed himself over his sweats at the sight of you. 

“Poor baby,” he sighed, though you heard no actual sympathy in his tone. “Couldn’t get off in your dream, so you touched yourself like a whore in front of me.” You squirmed at his vulgarity, his words sending shockwaves to your clenching pussy. Shifting his body down the bed so he was laying between your thighs, he left kisses up and down the sensitive skin there. His tongue traced a line from your knee up to where you truly wanted him before stopping right before your panties. His mouth wrapped around your skin as he bit down, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to really hurt.

When he pulled away, a dark hickey had formed. “Shit,” he groaned, “God, I love marking you up.” He looked back up at you, resting on your elbows so you could watch him. “Gonna leave marks all over, yeah? Then you’ll know who made you feel good, pretty girl.”

Mindlessly, you nodded, wanting him to do anything he wanted with you. His every word made you feel impossibly wet, almost embarrassingly so.

Without missing a beat, he kissed your clit over your panties, making you whimper as you thrust your hips up toward his face. “Patience, baby,” he mumbled, tonguing you through the thin fabric of your underwear. “Gonna make you feel good.” Using his teeth, he pulled your panties down, your slick stringing along as he got them to your knees before using his hands to pull them off completely. 

The sight of your exposed cunt, wet and clenching around nothing, made Jake crazy. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he admitted with a groan before he dove into your pussy, licking up your slick. He drew figure-eights over your clit before closing his lips around it and sucking, making you cry out. You felt his long fingers poke at your entrance, the stimulation leaving you a mess of moans and whimpers.

When two of his fingers pushed past your entrance, you both groaned at the feeling of him sliding inside your gummy walls. His tongue worked at your clit as he slowly scissored his fingers inside you, all while watching your reactions. “So hot,” you gasped, clawing at the bed sheets. “Fuck, Jake, gonna…” You cut yourself off, moaning loudly, when he started moving his fingers faster.

“Cum for me, sweets.” His demand seemingly made you snap as you came around his fingers in an instant. He closed his eyes as his jaw dropped in a groan, relishing the feeling of you clenching tightly around his fingers. He slowly took them out, biting his lip at how wet you were. The whine you let out once you were empty would live in his mind for the rest of his days, he decided, as he moved up the bed to come eye to eye with you.

You watched as he sucked his fingers clean of your wetness before leaning in and kissing you harshly. The taste of him mixed with your juices made you moan, grabbing at the fabric of his shirt tightly. He bit your bottom lip, pulling at it slightly before kissing you deeply once more. Your lips slotted together with ease, like two puzzle pieces.

He felt your hand travel down his stomach to the strings of his sweatpants, leaning back to watch as you undid the knot before pulling them down in a swift motion. He sat up to kick the garment off, before returning to his spot between your thighs. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, hunger in your gaze as you inspected his cock, hard against his stomach. It was red, needy and weeping, one pronounced vein running along his shaft. More importantly, he was thick—thicker than any toys you had bought on a whim.

When you looked up at him, he must’ve caught your fear as he cupped your face in his warm palm. Kissing you gently, he brushed your hair back. “We don’t need to go any further if you don’t want us to,” he assured you, even though the hardness of his length said otherwise. “We’ll only go as far as you want to.”

You bit your lip, “Then…” Without another word, you closed a fist around his shaft, watching his eyes widen. “I want to make you feel good, too,” you whispered. You collected some of his precum, using it to glide your hand up and down at a torturous pace, your eyes never leaving his face.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, shoving his face in the crook of your neck. You felt his hot breaths fan over your skin, leaving goosebumps, and he moaned in your ear. His arms were braced on either side of your head, his scent invading your senses as you touched him. “Doing so well for me,” he hushed, kissing at your neck. He nudged your jawline with his nose, sucking down on your jugular. “Shit,” his hips stuttered, thrusting up into your grasp. “Go faster for me, yeah?”

You nodded, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you picked up speed. Using your other hand to grasp his balls, you delighted in the way he groaned a little louder, your name slipping from his lips wantonly. Leaning forward, you bit down on his shoulder, flicking your tongue out just as he had before. With your lips on him, he moaned your name once more, fucking up into your hand with reckless abandon. He swore lowly as his hips stilled, ropes of thick cum spilling from his cock and onto your hands and shirt.

He stayed there momentarily, catching his breath before hovering a bit higher to watch you. Inspecting your hand, you brought it to your lips. His eyes never left your tongue as he watched it dart out to catch any drops of his seed. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he sighed once you finished, wiping off any remains on your soiled tee. He pulled the tee over your head before giving you his own, still warm from being worn. 

“Go to sleep, sweets,” he mumbled against your temple as he settled in next to you. “We’ll talk in the morning, yeah?”

Your morning talk ended up with his tongue between your thighs in the shower as you struggled to keep yourself up, one leg over his shoulder. You were sure the people in the rooms next to you could hear your cries when you came on his tongue for the nth time, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. 

Once he thought you had cum an adequate amount of times, he carefully set you down, massaging your aching thighs as he kissed you gently. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes still closed. Taking the opportunity, you pecked his lips before reaching for the body wash, giggling.

You never ended up talking about it, getting distracted by Lemon, who whined at the door when you finally came out of the bathroom. 

The rest of the road trip went similarly. You’d hold hands as he drove to your next destination, and then you’d get each other off in your motel rooms until the motel owners eventually kicked you out for disturbances. Between towns, you’d talk as if he wasn’t just knuckles deep in your heat or as if you didn’t just have his cock shoved down your throat as he fucked your face.

Words that needed to be spoken never were. Your fearful thoughts kept you from initiating the conversation that could very well destroy years of friendship with Jake.

ONE DAY.

Finally, you had made it to Seoul. Unfortunately, a flat tire in the middle of nowhere stopped you from getting there two days before, as Chaewon wanted. Luckily, nothing did go wrong and everything seemed to be ready for tomorrow.

Tired from the long trip, both emotionally and physically, Jake offered his house for you to stay at. Without thinking, you said yes. You took his keys and unlocked the door as Jake grabbed your things from the car, Lemon pushing past your feet and into the house, eager to explore.

As she made her way around, her nails against the hardwood floor indicating where she was, you and Jake pushed your luggage into the living room before collapsing onto the couch.

“I’m so happy to be home,” he sighed, stretching his limbs. “As fun as road trips are, nothing beats sleeping in your own bed.” Glancing over at you, a million thoughts raced in his mind, but he pushed them away. He wanted to talk about what you were, the frequent hookups making his brain mush. But he could read you—he always could. You’ve always been so emotive that you made it easy, but he had your habits memorized. He knew exactly when you didn’t want to do something and that you weren’t ready for talking.

So he didn’t say anything, even though he knew it might hurt him in the long run.

Unlike your apartment or the many motels you stayed at over your trip, Jake actually had two beds. The thought of sleeping in separate rooms felt so foreign, but he told you anyway. You hummed, “Maybe I should sleep in the guest room then.” You grinned at him, “You’re probably tired of having to share a bed with me by now.”

Never, he thought.

That night, he lay in his too-empty bed, restless. Knowing you were in the same house, with only a thin wall separating you, was driving him mad. Not having you next to him, curled up against his side, drove him mad. His hand clenched around the bedsheets, where you would’ve been if you had taken up his silent plea to sleep in the same room as him.

In that moment, Jake realizes just how screwed he really is. Covering his eyes with his forearm, he quietly swore into the empty room, his heart aching. Jake had gotten so used to being so close to you, to have you by his side as he pleasured you, your high-pitched cries echoing in his ears. He knew it wouldn’t last forever and that he’d have to drive you home a few days after the wedding. Then, he didn’t know how long it’d be until he saw you again.

He wonders if everything that happened will get brushed under the rug. God, he hoped not. 

Just as he decided he’d need some sleep for the wedding tomorrow, he heard something through the wall. He held his breath, straining his ears to hear the noise's source. Before long, he realized it was you, your short breaths easily passing through the wall, the sound of your slick ringing clear as day to him.

Without another thought, he ripped off his blanket and made his way to the guest room. To his surprise, you hadn’t even closed your door, his eyes blessed with the sight of you atop the bed. Neither the blankets nor the sheets were disturbed, making it clear that you hadn’t even gotten comfortable before you started. He watched in a daze as your fingers plunged in and out of your hole, your face contorted into one of drunken pleasure.

He felt himself grow hard as he stepped closer. You whimpered out his name as you rubbed harsh circles over your clit, and something inside Jake snapped.

“You must love fucking torturing me,” he rasped, roughly pulling your fingers out of your pussy and pinning your hands to the bed, leaving your body fully exposed to him. “Always touching yourself in front of me like a slut. You knew what you were doing, leaving your door open.” When you turned your head away in feigned humiliation, he used his free hand to forcibly turn your cheek. His nails dug into your jaw as he forced you to look at him.

“Do you know how crazy you make me feel?” He asked, but he narrowed his eyes at you when you went to answer. “Do you know how fucking long I’ve wanted to see you like this? Needy and begging for my cock?” His words shut up, the implication of something more making your heart race.

“Do you know how hard it’s been for me to stop myself from making you mine every night we’re together?” He growled, letting go of your hands to push your legs up against your chest. “Do you know how hard it is to refrain from kissing you every time you look at me with that look in your eye?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him in for a kiss, your lips meeting in a fight for dominance. His hands pushed you deeper against the bed as he pressed himself against you. His patience was wearing thin as he pulled away, only to pull off his shirt before he leaned in again. Your lips, your taste—all of you was addicting to Jake.

“Jake,” you moaned out when he attacked your neck, adding to the healing bruises from before. “‘M ready now. Please, please, make me yours,” you begged, spreading your legs wider for emphasis.

If he wasn’t hard before, he was now at your plea, a growl stuck at the back of his throat at the thought of fucking you like how he’s wanted to. “You sure, princess?” he asked, leaning back to look you in the eye.

“I’ve never been more sure,” you gasped, eyes darting from his left to right. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

Jake only shook his head, pulling you in for another deep kiss. Jake swallowed your moans, a feeling of possessiveness taking over him as he fondled your breasts. “All mine,” he hissed, “you’re mine.”

He made quick work of his sleep shorts, the garment getting thrown across the room into some corner to be found in the morning. His cock was pretty as ever, and your hands instinctively went to grab at it. “Next time, baby,” he rasped, “Need to take you now.”

You cried out when you felt the tip of his length nudge against your folds, collecting your juices as he ran his cock up and down your cunt. A broken whimper of his name ripped through your throat when he bumped your clit, his own deep moan shaking in his chest. He felt like he was losing his mind, the warmth of your pussy felt so good against his shaft, and he hadn’t even entered you yet.

You felt him line himself up at your entrance, and you tensed. Noticing, Jake left gentle kisses against your shoulder. “I’ll take care of you, pretty, just lay back, yeah?”

You nodded but felt hot tears well up in your eyes as he pushed past your entrance, a stinging burn erupting between your legs. He moved slowly, but inch by inch, the burn became more intense. “It’ll hurt more when you’re this tense, baby,” he whispered, massaging your right breast in hopes of distracting you. His lips met yours in a kiss more gentle than any that preceded it. Screwing your eyes shut, tears beaded at the corners of your eyes before they fell, disappearing into your hairline. He kissed your temple when he finally bottomed out after what felt like years. “Doing so well for me, sweets.”

He stilled for a few minutes despite wanting nothing more but to drill into you. Leaving kisses all over your face and neck, he observed as your face relaxed more and more. “You can move now,” you whispered, out of breath.

“Yeah? Trust me?”

“Mhm,” you closed your eyes—the sting had disappeared, and now you just felt stuffed. “I trust you, Jake.”

Your admittance made his head spin as he dropped his head onto your shoulder. Slowly, he pulled out until just the tip was inside before thrusting into you. A low moan rumbled in your chest as Jake sucked at your neck. He repeated the motion, rocking into you slowly until you got used to it.

After a while, the pain turned to pleasure as you clenched around him, making him gasp against your skin. “Faster, please,” you begged, linking your ankles around his back. “Need you.”

Just as you asked, Jake upped his pace, moving steadily. He sat back gripping your waist as he thrust into you. He watched for your reactions, eyes darting from your scrunched up face to the bouncing of your breasts down to the jiggle of your thighs with each thrust. His speed picked up until he was pistoling into you, broken moans pushing past your lips as his hips slapped against yours.

The sound of your wetness was so obscene, if you were in a normal state of mind you would’ve been embarrassed. But the drag of his cock against your walls and the way his pelvic bone grazed your clit every time he bottomed out was deliciously addicting.  “Feels so fucking good,” Jake moaned, “you’re gripping me so tightly—fuck!—gonna make me cum, princess.” Falling forward, he braced himself on one arm, reaching for your puffy clit with the other. He rubbed fast cirlces on your clit as he pounded into you, the sound of skin against skin turning you on more. You willed yourself to keep your eyes open, to bask in the sight of Jake slowly losing control of his movements as he got closer to his own release.

The sight of him hunched over you, eyes glassy as he furrowed his brows in concentration, beads of sweat dripping from his hairline, causing his blond hair to stick to his forehead, was so fucking hot. You gripped at his arms, muscles bulging as he struggled to keep himself up.

You felt an orgasm fast approaching, your own whines coming out higher and higher. “Fu—ck, Jake,” you swore, “I’m so close, please, I—”

At your words, Jake’s hips moved faster, hitting the spot that made you see stars over and over again. “You look so beautiful like this,” he uttered breathlessly. “Fuck, I love you.” The words spilled from his lips unintentionally, the way your walls clenched around him knocked any sense of thought out of him, his only coherent thought being to make you cream around his cock.

His words echoed in your brain as you came with a cry of his name. The feeling of you cumming sent Jake into overdrive as he pistoned into you, overstimulating you as he chased his release. After a moment, he stilled, coming inside of your cavern. You felt his release paint your walls white, bringing you into a second orgasm.

He stayed inside you for a while, hovering over your tired body as he caught his breath. Eventually, he pulled out, his cum spilling from your clenching hole, making him sigh in pleasure at the sight. He kissed your temple before moving to get off the bed. You watched, spent, as he searched for his shirt in the dark, the hallway light dimly illuminating the room. For a second, you were scared that he was just going to go back to his own room, but after he found the shirt, he came back to your side. Wordlessly, he wiped you clean, even wiping at the beads of sweat that accumulated on your skin.

Tired, he let himself collapse beside you, pulling you against his chest.

“Did you mean it?” you asked in a small voice.

“Hmm?”

“When… When you said you loved me.”

You felt him tense under you for a second before relaxing. His arms held you tighter against his chest, letting you listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“Yeah.” He paused, the cogs in his brain turning as he searched for the right words to say. Nothing he came up with seemed right; he opted to stay silent and waited for your response. When it didn’t come, he looked down at you, only to be met with your sleeping face. He sighed, his breath shaky as his eyes burned. He pressed a single kiss on the crown of your head. “Good night, sweets.”

THREE HOURS.

Chaewon had been spamming your phone, the distinct buzzing of each message waking you up. Jake slept through the sound of you typing, exhausted from the night before.

Where are you???? Get your ass here NOW before I come and get you myself

Are you even awake? 

Girl, if you’re not here in the next hour I’ll punt you into the next century

Swearing, you carefully slipped out of Jake’s grasp. When he didn’t stir, you shook him gently. He mumbled incoherently, wrapping his arms around your middle as he deeply inhaled your scent. “Jake, we gotta’ wake up now. Chaewon’s having a cow and I don’t think we want to upset the bride today.”

At your words, Jake murmured something you couldn’t hear before finally peeling himself off you, looking at you with sleepy eyes and messy hair. “Wha’ time isit?” he slurred, stretching his arm.

“It’s twelve, so we have to go. Like, now.”

Thankfully, that seemed to wake Jake up, and he sat up quickly. “Damn, okay,” he pushed his hair back. “Get changed and everything, and I’ll meet you at the door.”

You watched as he leaped off the bed, picking up his soiled clothes from the floor. He made his way to his own room, and you heard the shower turn on. In the time it took for you to brush your teeth and get changed, Jake had showered and hastily shoved on some comfy clothes, his attire being left with Heeseung as well.

The drive to the hotel where the bridal and groom's parties were getting ready was quiet, partially from sleepiness and partially because of the unfinished conversation from last night, filling the air with thick tension. His hand rested on the middle console, palm up, but you didn’t take it.

When you got to the hotel, you were quickly ushered to your respective rooms by other bridesmaids and groomsmen. Jake could only watch as you disappeared behind a room door before getting shoved into one himself.

He didn’t see you again until later, when the wedding was about to start, and the pairs were meant to walk down the aisle. Since you were Chaewon’s maid of honour and Jake was Heeseung’s best man, you were paired together. When you finally saw him, you felt the air leave your lungs. His hair was styled so it was out of his face, save for a few strands that hooked over his forehead. His suit was entirely dark blue, from his blazer to his tie, and it made him look unfairly handsome.

Your mouth felt dry as you linked arms with him, listening for your cue to walk.

Unbeknownst to you, he felt similar. You looked stunning in your baby blue satin dress, and he thought it hugged your curves in such a way that he almost wanted to cover you up so only he could see you like this. His heart pounded in his chest at your touch. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispered as you waited, making the couples behind you snicker. You blushed, your face warming as you rubbed your lips together anxiously.

“As do you,” you mumbled, looking into his eyes shyly. “You look really good.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but the doors opened up, and that was your cue. The venue was gorgeous, as expected since Chaewon planned most of it. The sight of the aisle and the altar made your heart soar for her, and you absentmindedly rubbed at your own ring finger the closer you and Jake got to the end of the aisle.

You sent him a smile before you retreated to your respective spots. As the rest of the couples and the flower girl made their way down the aisle, you couldn’t help but keep your eyes on Jake. You wondered how you looked, staring over at the best man when there were so many things you should’ve been paying attention to.

Clearing your throat, you looked forward.

When you finally saw Heeseung, your heart clenched. You fisted the fabric of your dress as you watched him wait for his bride-to-be. This motion didn’t go unseen by Jake, whose jaw clenched.

When Chaewon appeared from behind the door, the room erupted into cheers as everyone stood. Tears sprang to your eyes as you watched your cousin, veiled, take small steps closer to her future husband. You knew your makeup was going to be ruined by the end of the night, but you couldn’t help but cry once she reached Heeseung. You glanced at him once more before staring down at your heeled feet.

The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch, Chaewon and Heeseung’s beautiful vows leaving everyone in tears. You had even caught Jake wiping away some stray tears. You watched with a sense of longing as Chaewon and Heeseung made their way down the aisle. You didn’t realize that Jake had been staring at you the whole time, not even when it was your turn to walk out.

The banquet was to start half an hour later. You and Jake had gotten separated in the commotion outside of the venue hall. You heard him call out to you, but you couldn’t see him over the large, bustling crowd of wedding guests. Knowing that you’d see him at the banquet, you slipped further into the crowd until you found a balcony. Peaking your head out, you let out a breath of relief when there was no one there.

The sun was setting, casting an orange hue over everything it touched. A beautiful sight, you thought as you leaned against the railing. You closed your eyes as you thought back on the wedding. It had been the exact wedding the Chaewon had planned years ago, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to be truly happy. How could you, after all, after watching Heeseung look at Chaewon with such love and adoration? 

When someone called your name, you turned around to see Jake standing there, slightly unkempt from the crowd. “I finally found you,” he heaved, gesturing back to the hall that was still full of busy wedding goers. “Man, the banquet is literally in the room over from the wedding hall—they couldn’t be a little more patient in moving over?” He shook his head in mock disbelief as he joined you.

He looked at you, ready to make a joke, but paused when he saw your face. His smile dropped as he turned to face you fully. “You’re crying,” he noted, cupping your cheek. You blinked in surprise, having not noticed how tears had welled up in your eyes. “What’s wrong, sweets?”

You turned around, pulling your face out of his grasp, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I don’t know,” you murmured, voice breaking. “I just… when I saw them—”

“Is it Heeseung?”

His cold, clipped tone shocked you. When you looked at him in confusion, his expression had hardened. “What—”

“Why does seeing him with her still hurt you? I thought you were fine,” his words were level, but you heard the slight tremble of his voice.”You said you moved on.” 

Sputtering, you turned to him with an indignant glare. “Jake, it’s not that easy—”

Scoffing, he took a step back from you. “So what? The last two weeks meant nothing to you? Last night meant nothing to you? I…” He gripped at his hair, stressed. “I told you I loved you, and you’re still crying over Heeseung?”

It dawned on you how he perceived your words, and an unsettling fear grabbed at you as you went to explain yourself. “What? Jake, no, I’m not—”

He gave you no room to speak, interrupting you hastily, words tumbling from his lips as though he had no control of them. “I have always loved you,” he confessed, voice breaking. “Ever since we were kids, for me, it’s always been you. I came to you because I love you. I spent these last two weeks with you because I love you, and I want nothing more than for you to see me as more than a best friend or… or someone who’s convenient for you.” You watched in horror as his eyes watered, stepping forward to grab his arm to explain, but he ripped his arm away from your grasp. “I can see now that you never will.”

“Jake, wait—!” Your cry fell on empty ears as he turned to leave you alone on the balcony, his back feeling unreachable as he reached for the doorknob to go back inside. At this point, the crowd in the hall had dispersed, and you were sure the banquet was starting. But none of that mattered—what mattered was stopping Jake from leaving before you could tell him the truth.

Swallowing your fears, you called out his full name. You sighed in relief when he paused, but your hands shook at your sides as you forced your next words out. “He made me feel like I was unlovable,” you uttered, voice just barely above a whisper. For a second, you were worried he hadn’t heard you, but he turned his head slightly. Finding the courage to continue, you stepped forward. “I’m not… I don’t love Heeseung, Jake. I haven’t loved Heeseung for a really fucking long time.”

But what happened between us gave me all of these terrible thoughts that I didn’t…. That I don’t know how to handle. I thought I was perfectly fine dealing with my insecurities on my own before you came.” He turn his head more, allowing you to see his profile. You saw him open his mouth, ready to retort, but you narrowed your eyes at him. “Sim Jaeyun, if you interrupt me again, I’ll kick your ass.” Your threat wasn’t all that threatening, considering the fact that you were near to tears, but he listened and shut his mouth.

“When you showed up at my apartment, I thought I was going mad. You made me feel like that. It was suddenly so different between us and I didn’t know what to do. You kept saying these things like you were trying to fluster me, and I couldn’t tell if you were being genuine or if my fucked up mind was just creating scenarios where you might actually love me.” Tears were freely falling now, smudging your eye makeup and leaving its trail in your foundation. You stepped closer to Jake, who had fully turned to face you. You stopped, leaving a few meters between you as if you were scared of crossing an invisible boundary.

“Last night was the best night of my life. And every time before that, you made me feel complete and made me so happy, Jake. You made me feel… normal. It felt like I was myself again for the first time in months, but there was something else there, too.” You looked into his eyes, unable to tell what he was thinking. You swallowed thickly, “I don’t love Heeseung, and you’re a fool if you think I do. But it’s so fucking hard to shake off the feeling that at any point you could find someone better, someone who’s prettier, or—”

Jake was quick to close the distance between you, his lips downturned into a scowl as he glowered at you. “Just shut up already,” he spat, cupping your face in his hands and bringing his lips to yours. You felt a thousand times lighter as you kissed him back with the same fervour as him, your tears mixing into the kiss. He dropped a hand to rest on your hip, bringing you flush against him. Once he pulled away, you were both breathless. He rested his forehead against yours as his shoulders rose and fell quickly.

When he finally opened his eyes, gone was the pain and hurt. Now, when he looked at you, he looked with adoring eyes. “I love you,” he whispered. “You might not believe me yet, but just know that whenever I look at you, all I see is the person I want to spend my life with. There isn’t anyone better or prettier—there’s only you.”

He met your eyes before kissing you again. 

You looked into his eyes once you pulled away, a thousand thoughts swirling behind your irises. “I love you,” you breathed out. You reached for his hand, interlocking your fingers together as you smiled tearfully at him. “Help me believe you.”

Jake laughed in disbelief, bringing you close to his chest.

“We have all the time in the world to get there, sweets.”

©WONLOVIE please do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or copy any of my works.

#wonlovie #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #jake scenarios #jake x reader #sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun scenarios #jake #sim jake #enhypen smut #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #jake smut #jake fluff #jake angst #jaeyun smut #jaeyun fluff #jaeyun angst #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 40

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

The Heart of the Scorpion by crystalklances

Lance has a big old crush on the school's Soccer Captain, Keith. He tries to deny having a crush even while their every interaction sends his heart aflutter. Romantic horoscopes and secret love letters? Totally not related to Keith. Luckily, heart and stars align to prove him wrong.

i will fucking miss crystalklances every single day of my life he was a PILLAR. i wish he had kept his account and just abaondoned it but im grateful at least that he only orphaned his fics and didnt delete it. he had so much to write about the college scene and soft klance and them being tender and soft and open about it!! he also often gave keith parents and he almost ALWAYS wrote trans lance like he invented the tag!! crystalklances i miss you and this was one of my favourite fics of yours

2. It's Not Spying If You Don't Call It Spying by @jilliancares

Turns out everyone is spying on Lance and Keith's blossoming relationship.

this is truly so goofy and silly and the team is SO so nosy and they need to be involved in 110% of klance's shit. as they deserve tbh. theyre all so annoying and i support all of their crimes

3. i wanna love you (but i don't know if i can) by @rickybowens

So, of course, that was when Hunk had said, "You know, it's really good that we're all friends here. I feel like it always gets awkward when two people in a group start dating, you know?" "Well, I don't think we have to worry about that with this group," Pidge had piped up, "I love you all, but there's no way in hell I'd date any of you." Everyone else had murmured their agreement, except for Lance and Keith, who had shared a look before trying to discreetly scoot away from the other. (Or, Lance and Keith decide to date in secret so their relationship doesn't make their teammates uncomfortable. It goes about as well as is to be expected.)

secret relationship you will ALWAYS be famous. its literally my favourite trope idc!! and this arc made SO much sense in terms of a reason for them to be dating in secret!! i loved how the team was the problem but that was very much not their intention but it made sense why klance was afraid and just...this whole fic was cinema truly i love it so so much

4. Of Pidge, Perception, and Prosecution by @erinnovelist

Of all the paladins, Lance knew Pidge was the one he had to watch out for. The only time her guard was down was after she woke up. She didn’t talk, glasses discarded after long hours staring at a screen, and she couldn’t function properly without her daily cup of coffee-equivalent alien juice. Which was why, when he wandered into the kitchen that morning, Lance hadn’t expected Pidge to zero in on him and ask, “When did you and Keith start fucking?”

teehee this one made me giggle its so ridiculous. and yes i did scroll thru the secret relationship tag again idc its so good!! i love the idea of klance thinking theyre so so sneaky and the whole time pidge is like yeah bitch ive been knew yall aint subtle in the slightest

5. Shifting Rock by @ohcontrary

Shiro is back with the team and things are... difficult, but getting easier. But even as he feels more and more like himself, he notices how his relationships have change. It's possible his relationship with Lance is changed irreparably. Luckily, the mission they go on gives them a chance to talk. But on a trip so perilous, they'll need to pay attention-- It isn't just their relationship that's on shaky ground.

lance and shiro NEEDED to talk fr. if ur gonna pretend the later seasons happened then they needed to CHAT. and what better place to chat then mortal peril and the threat of being crushed to death!! holy metaphors!!

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#look! a rare frf w variety!!! #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #secret relationship #established klance #shiro & lance #team as family #modern au #college au #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

[kimmiessimmies]

Simblr's New Year Resolutions of 2024

I was tagged by lovely Lana, @eljeebee. Thank you, my dear. ❤️

Now, I already did a post on plans yesterday, but that was only for the coming few months or so, plus way too long for anyone to properly read, so let's give this one a go (which will probably also be long, because let's face it, I'm simply not a woman of few words).

What's your resolution for your simblr?

I'm not actually sure? Sometimes, I envy the people who are able to keep their Simblr clean and organised by just posting actual relevant things. I often write rambles (I don't always think anyone truly reads), so the story might get a bit lost. But do I really want to change that? I don't know. Maybe my resolution for my Simblr could be to make things easier to find? But then again, if you want easy reading of my story and everything involved, one click takes you to my WordPress, which actually is a lot more organised.

I do have resolutions for the story itself and my writing, though! In 2024, I hope to expand my writing skills. Even though I write easily in English, the fact that it's not my native language still feels limiting at times. I often feel I could make a narrative or a dialogue richer if this was my mothertongue. I've been contemplating focussing solely on dialogue and image (like I did with the AU), but I find I sometimes want and need the narrative. I really do feel the need to sometimes give words to what a character is feeling or experiencing without them actually voicing it to another character. And precisely in that type of narrative, I see room for improvement.

As for ATOH, I hope to be able to do some other characters justice, too, aside from the ones I've been so focused on recently. Although, maybe it'll only get confusing if I bring too many characters in. So, balance will be the challenge, I guess. And, I hope to be able to bring everything together properly and in a way that makes sense. Especially now that I've changed my timeline for a third time...

What do you want from the Sims franchise?

I just hope TS3 remains playable at this point. My worst fear is my gaming laptop breaking down (I do everything on that thing, as there's no place in my house for an actual pc) and any new one being unsuitable to run TS3 with its very specific demands...

Other than that, I think it would be highly unrealistic to expect EA to develop or do anything specifically for TS3 at this point, and I have absolutely zero interest in straining my laptop even more by putting TS4 on it, which I know I won't play.

Any other new year's resolutions?

Oof... Umm... Well, I already wrote about how I'm struggling a lot at the moment (I'm at a very, very low point right now...) and as much as what I want for 2024 is to find my happy again, that seems like a huge ask at the moment. So I shall stick to the quote the Pinterest game brought up: "Never give up on the things that make you smile" and try to focus on the few things they do bring me joy. Which takes me back to the story, and now we've come full circle.

Tagging a few people who maybe haven't done this yet and might like to, @simsaralove , @sircesimblr, @sushiikinsss. Feel free to pass.

#simblr resolutions #ts3 #the sims 3 #sims 3 #text post #long post #about the process #writing things

[saltymongoose]

🔞 [THE KISS] 🔞 - How They React to a Vampire!Player's Bite ft. The Main 4

I'm so glad to finally be posting this, sorry for the long the wait. 😅 You guys know the deal, minors do not interact in any way, heed the tags and TWs. Other than this, enjoy! <3

(TW: !Minors Do Not Interact!, Extremely Suggestive Content, Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, Biting, Descriptions of Blood, Reader is a sadist again lol) [Part 1 - WORLD WITHOUT LOGOS] ←

As it turns out, your vessels were more than happy to accommodate you in every way possible, and this includes your dependence on vitae - blood.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't expect a positive, if not outright excited reaction to the idea of you feeding on them. (After spending so much time around them, their amusing amount of possessiveness over you wasn't something you could ignore.) However, their complete lack of regard for their own safety was still something you found concerning. Especially when you let them know that you took more than just blood from your vessels.

You let them in on this when you were trying to warn them: “Well, besides the fact that you might die, another effect of a mortal getting fed on by a Vampire is that said Vampire can get your soul, or part of it,” you had said flatly. A look at their stunned and weirdly awe-filled expressions was enough to prompt you to continue before they asked any questions.

"Most kindred don’t have the ability to do that, but I do. It’s one of the things that makes me so powerful if I go overboard with the feeding. If I drain you dry, your entire soul is mine, period. I already know you’re going to ask, but even if I don’t kill you by feeding, and the loss of that part of your soul won’t have much of an effect if any, it’s still important. If I get your blood in my mouth and I swallow it, a part of who you are will belong entirely to me. Forever."

You thought that would be a deal breaker for them. Surely giving up something so important to a monster like yourself wouldn't be desirable in any way, right? Wrong. Which you admit you honestly should've expected.

On the contrary, the thought of you legitimately owning part of their souls was actually exciting to them. Even the more level-headed grunts of your troupe couldn’t help the flush that overtook their faces as they silently mused on how wonderful it’d be to have such a thing happen; to be yours in the most literal sense possible and have the essence of their existence belong to you (as it should). They even thought it sounded romantic, really. Your fated partner having a part of your very being integrated into theirs, so that you’ll never truly be away from them (even in death).

Your vessels were touched by how much you cared about their safety, but that didn’t stop how tantalizing being bitten by you appeared to be. They want you to own them. So no, of course they wouldn’t dare let anyone else have the privilege of receiving “The Kiss” from you (as your kind called it). And you weren't the type to look a gift horse in the mouth (blood from the willing always tasted far better anyway), so you accepted their little proposal, to their absolute delight.

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Hank has zero hesitancy whatsoever in regard to you biting him, having wanted to bear your mark from the moment you first met. In his eyes, your relationship was one of ownership already; he was your vessel and you were his Player. (The only one he’d allow to control his every movement without question, the individual who he respected and loved enough to give himself to completely.) Being bitten by you would serve to make your claim on him open and obvious, so the fact that you would be bound together through his soul afterward was just a bonus if anything.

Perhaps this is what makes him so incredibly impatient whenever it’s his turn to receive The Kiss from you. His trembling and rushed movements are symptoms of the excitement he feels at getting closer to being marked by you. You can feel it especially well when he's yanked you into his lap, pressing you so tightly together that you have to bend backward to look him in the face. He beats you to it when you try to undo his coat and bandages, nearly ripping the offending cloth away before leaning into your shorter form. (You give him a look when he turns his head to bare his neck to you. It hasn't even been five minutes since you started.) Honestly, it seems like Hank is on the verge of somehow forcing your teeth into his neck himself most of the time.

Biting Hank also comes with an additional stipulation. With most of your vessels, you do a quick bite - one that you can cover up and heal quickly. Thing is, Hank doesn't want you to pierce him with just your canines. Instead, he prefers for all of your teeth to penetrate his skin; the full mark of your bite left indented in his flesh is what he truly needs. You’re fine with it, of course, even if it’s a bit unorthodox for vessels you actually mean to keep alive.

Hank is surprisingly noisy when you feed on him. His breaths grow more and more labored when your maw's sharpened razors begin to stab into him, sinking into his skin easily as you squeeze your jaws down and sending an odd jolt of heat to his lower body. Another harsh nudge of your teeth further into his neck is met with a low groan from him, the noise muffled from behind his mask.

(He's never felt anything like it. The sharp sting blooms into an intoxicating mixture of pain and overwhelming pleasure, only made better by the way he can feel your lips pulling into a smile when he pants.

The haze from your bite clouds his mind until he’s lost in the euphoric feeling of you finally showing him everything you try to hide: The animalistic nature of your hunger that he only sees in fights, the cruel, amused laughs you make when another moan or whine leaves his mouth, and how you nip playfully, painfully, at his bite to elicit more noises from him. It’s overwhelming in the best of ways…but it’s still never enough.)

The slow draw of his blood from you sucking at his wounds makes him want more of something, igniting an urge for him to completely surrender everything to you. It's something you realize early on, with how you're able to read your vessel's minds like this.

He tries to satiate that incessant need by leaning further into your form to try and catch your fangs deeper into his skin, attempting to silently persuade you into making this even bloodier than it began. Perhaps even trying to force you further into his lap, caging you tighter to him in the hopes that the closeness of you pressed against every part of him would somehow stop that hunger for more of whatever you can give him. It doesn't work, though, and you can tell from the way his hips shift underneath you, and the tightening grip that threatens to force the tips of his claws into you that he's getting frustrated with it. (He can’t even explain why he feels so discontent; this is what he wanted, but it still aches. He has to have more, he needs it-)

However amusing (or perhaps even cute) you find his uncharacteristically desperate movements and noises to be, you acknowledge that you probably should give him some small kindness to alleviate that pull you know he’s feeling. Considering how you can't drain him dry, your chosen remedy is simple. Bite him again. The sudden burst of pain is enough to pull a choked moan from him, his purrs rumbling even louder as you tear another deep mark into his flesh. And then you do it again. And again.

You aren't really sure why it works, but you can tell from how the tension in him seems to be winding tight and how his body is starting to tremble that it’s at least a suitable distraction. This, and the fact that the only thing you can read from his mind is a hazy sense of happiness and adoration (odd, considering what you were. If you happened to be more careful in pulling your teeth from him after that, and soothing the wounds with your tongue, then it was purely coincidental.)

Of course, it’s not like Hank always stands perfectly still when you do this. He’s obedient to a fault, especially to you, but you honestly can’t expect him to just sit there and take it when you’re moving around in his lap and marking him repeatedly like that. So when you inevitably end up pinned somewhere with Hank’s panting form looming above you, blood dripping down onto you from the collar of bites you've left on him, you suppose you only have yourself to blame. Tempting the beast, and all that.

Either way, you've probably been full for a few minutes and the extra bites are always more for his benefit than anything. It won’t fully sate that deep-seated need he has for more from you. Nothing will, until you do more to claim him as your kind would.

But watching him almost frantically pull his mask down before slamming his mouth against yours in a bloody kiss, and feeling the way his weight rests on you heavily to seek out more contact tells you that this has been at least somewhat satisfying for him. Although, you'd be a fool to assume he'd calm down quickly from this high you've given him and let you go just because you think you're finished. (If he croaks from blood loss, he figures Doc can just bring him back again. Right?)

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned tries to approach you biting him in a clinical, professional manner, he really does. He insists on doing it in a sterile environment, even taking a shower beforehand so he’s completely clean for you. He sits at his desk and has his tablet in front of him in case he needs to record information on anything odd he’s feeling. He wants to treat these occasions as research in addition to something just to feed you. However, he never actually fulfills that objective, no matter how many times you do this.

Doc tries to ask you questions about the process while you stand over him, lifting his jaw and tilting his head to the side to get a better view of his neck. You find it really funny since it’s obvious he’s trying to get himself together. The cracks in his composure start to show when you bring your face closer to his, and he stumbles over a few words. That’s nothing compared to how he gets when you respond to his inquiries, though, lips and the edge of a sharp canine ghosting over his skin.

(“We’re lucky I’m not from one of the more…picky clans. Some of us can only drink from really specific types of humans, and I’d probably starve if I was restricted by that,” you muse quietly, paying no mind to how your lips press slightly to his throat on some of your words. What you do notice is how 2B’s breath hitches from it. You tilt your head and breathe out a silent chuckle. You can’t even tell if he got anything you just said. “What, no questions?” He flinches a bit. So he wasn't focusing on what you were saying. How interesting.)

His hold on his composure only slips further once you bite him. The press of your teeth is met with a sharp inhale, and he tenses up when they pierce his skin. You won’t hear any obvious noises from him, at least nothing he doesn’t attempt to muffle. With your hearing though, it isn’t difficult to pinpoint the little gasps he tries to hide when you nudge your sharp fangs a little deeper into his flesh, nor is it hard to tell that he's fighting to keep his breath stable.

He’ll try to continue asking questions, only to fade off in the middle of them, completely losing his train of thought as you drink from him. In Doc's defense, having you so close and sucking at his neck is enough to stop him from thinking; his head feels fuzzy, and he isn’t sure if that distinct warmth he feels building in him is from your vampirism or your traits as the Player. He can admit to himself that it feels...good. Too good, actually. It's enough to make him achingly self-aware of his own reactions, and to compel him to at least try not to act so “out of line” with you there.

(You're someone he considers a sort of superior; your status as his Player demands the utmost respect; even if you're biting his neck and draining his blood, he has to keep some level of decorum with regard to that. It's difficult, with how a large part of him wants to just give in to the feeling of you, but he tries to manage it.)

Sometimes you might try to get him to let go of this facade he's so desperate to hold onto. (You don't want him worrying about something like this since it really doesn't matter to you, and the experience would be so much better for him if he just relaxed for a change.) This could mean letting your tongue linger for a bit longer as you lick up his blood, or nibbling at the edges of the wound harshly so the bruise of it'll stay for a while longer.

Does it work 100% of the time? No. But it's a convenient challenge to focus on when you're ensuring your focus doesn't fall entirely into draining him. Though if you want a guaranteed way to break Doc, you found that outright telling him how good you think he tastes works exceedingly well. It's enough to make him choke back a small moan, so you consider it a success. The blush you see sweeping across his skin, even visible on his jaw and neck, makes it even better.

2BDamned knows that you do this just to make his attempt at a professional demeanor slip. It's obvious from how he can feel you grin once you manage to get something substantial out of him, which causes his face to burn hotter. He doesn't know what to do with the knowledge that you seem genuinely pleased when this happens, and embarrassingly enough, he can even feel himself beginning to purr when it does. He stiffens when he feels the rumbles starting to build up; it's like that animalistic part of him is satisfied by how happy you are when his instincts begin to break through. (They are an important part of him, even if he keeps it hidden most of the time.)

2B also tends to go far longer than the others do with letting you feed. He’ll allow you to drink from him for a concerning amount of time before doing anything to try and alert you, whether it be outright telling you that he can’t go on further or tapping you to signal that something’s changed in his condition. Even if he's starting to feel exhausted, he doesn't feel the need to stop you. Not with his claws digging painfully into the palms of his hands as he fights the urge to make more noises (he'd die of mortification if he lets another loud whine slip from him again). Not even when he shifts back into his seat to stop from squirming too much at the euphoric feeling of you draining him. The motivation just isn't there.

He'd never openly admit it, but he feels far too good to. (And it's not like he can think of a pragmatic way to do it with his head so foggy.) It's probably because of your abilities, but he also concludes it's also connected to how he's essentially being marked by you. Claimed as yours in the way that grunts have always staked such importance on. He likes it, to put it simply. It's fulfilling, and he relishes in the event as much as he can. Of course, you receiving part of his soul along with his blood was not something he initially expected, but with Nevada's poor excuse of an afterlife, he thinks it's the best option. He wants to give all that he was to you, and you spending so much time marking him worked perfectly with that. Even if it makes him weak, why would he ask you to quit when the positives so obviously outweighed the negatives?

This means it typically falls on you to stop this, which you do with little fanfare. You may or may not press a little kiss on his jaw to soothe him after working over the wound with your tongue (just so it heals up all nicely, an effect of your saliva), earning another pleased sigh from him, but you hold off on a lot of what you could do. You figure with how Doc is, the nicest thing is to let him try to regain his composure. Even if it takes a lot, with how boneless he looks under you and how red he is, even with all that blood loss. You can tell his heart is beating unnaturally fast, but you're blind to how he's looking at you in an almost lovesick daze. You smile at him and he shifts in his seat. You still have his blood on your lips.

At this moment, he usually wonders if it's disappointment he feels at you not continuing and doing more with him. It only takes receiving your Kiss a few times to realize that this is entirely correct, and a couple more for him to start formulating ways to get you to stay.

- [SANFORD] -

For someone who faces the chance of getting grievously injured nearly every day, Sanford is surprisingly nervous leading up to your bite. He doesn’t talk that much or shift around a lot, instead just fidgeting a little with his hands and stiffening up when you come closer. It’s almost like he’s trying to mentally prepare himself for it, which you can understand. Being bitten by you is incredibly overwhelming, even for other vampires.

You’re more gentle with Sanford from the get-go since you don’t want to take him off guard too much or make him uncomfortable. The added gentleness is obvious from how you softly rest your hands on him and slowly work him through some of the steps you’re doing, even outright telling him when you're about to bite him. You're careful in a way you rarely show to others, and it makes his heart start to beat faster before your lips even touch him.

Sanford is incredibly restrained whenever you officially start one of these encounters. The nervousness shows, but he tries to steel his facial expression to keep it down, biting back a noise when you finally cut into him with your teeth. He can feel your hands moving, fingers tracing comforting circles as you tighten your jaws to pull blood from him, and he shifts slightly, turning his head to both bare his neck more to you and hide his flustered expression. You haven’t even really begun draining him, but he’s already getting overwhelmed. 

(A reaction he blames on how grunts are. It’s only natural to get flustered if someone you like romantically incidentally claims you with a piercing bite, especially when it’s in such a visible spot. He knows you're aware of this too, which only makes the reaction worse. Is it really so outlandish to assume that you welcome this idea of officially staking a claim on him, since you showed zero hesitance to continue after being informed? He hopes not.)

The grunts have always felt very warm to you due to your vampirism, but you’re a little shocked by just how hot he feels. If it were Deimos, you could blame it on pyrokinesis, but with Sanford it's more worrying. You were relieved to find that it was simply his blush that made him like this. It seems this flusters him more than you initially thought it would. (How odd it is, that he’s able to get so red when you’ve started draining him of his blood.)

To your joy, you can actually feel him relax into your grip when you gingerly remove your teeth, even if he tenses up the slightest bit when you run your tongue over the opening you made, testing to see if the bite was deep enough. Honestly, Sanford thought it’d be painful at first, maybe with some numbness mixed in. But when your lips seal onto his neck and you suck at his split skin, he realized that it’s the exact opposite. The feeling of your mouth on him, pressing roughly onto his flesh as you tongue at the cuts where his life essence spills from is one that makes heat curl in his gut.

Despite how hard Sanford tries to remain quiet, not wanting to be inappropriate when you’re only doing this for food, he can’t stop noises that leave his throat; little cut-off moans and deeper groans, even a few breathy whines and gasps. He's purring too of course, the rumbling echoes in your ears while you busy yourself with pulling blood from his body.

It's shameful for him since he worries he's putting you off by acting this way, but he just can't stop it. It feels so good, to have you leaving a mark on his flesh and pressed so close to him. The painful sting of the wound only elevates the sensation, and the tension in him winds tighter every time your sharp teeth graze him. He has to do something with this weird longing he feels, whether it be making noises or subconsciously reaching up to rest his hands on you to ground himself. You let him pull you closer with no complaint.

You really don't care about how he acts, of course; it's a completely natural reaction to what you're doing. The biggest reaction you'll give is a chuckle when he gives a particularly loud moan, or a small exhale in amusement when you notice how his hips jolt when your thighs brush his. Seems noises aren't all you can get from him if the way he seems to seek contact with all of you is any sign.

Shame can wait until after you're finished, when the high of having you biting him and sucking his blood has faded away. At the moment, he's too lost to the heat from your actions and the hazy, painful pleasure of your Kiss. It's paired with an odd duality from you; the gentleness you show in all aspects except for the way you nip at his skin and suck harshly, as though you want the "hickey" you leave to last for days afterward. He can't tell if he feels lightheaded from blood loss or just being overwhelmed by your actions, but either way, he wants more.

(Or perhaps he just wants you to desire more from him. He knows you already get a part of his soul from this, but he still aches for you to take him completely. He knows that it's probably an irrational thought, since this is probably just a side effect of losing a part of himself, but the overwhelming need is still there.)

However, Sanford at least has the sense to stop instead of insisting you go on. You don't often push him too far, but if he ever feels like he's starting to get too weak, he'll tell you as best he can manage. (Or maybe just nudge you pointedly if he can’t muster the words, which happens.) You're quick to pull away as soon as you notice, taking a quick glance over him to check for any serious signs of blood loss. It’s nothing too bad but you still agree that you should stop, so you give him a soft look before slowly returning to the wound to close it. He shudders when he feels your cold tongue swiping over him, and you pause for a moment to make sure he’s alright before continuing. You’re honestly really sweet to him when you end your “sessions”; you even whisper a small thank you to him after you’re completely finished, sometimes accompanying it with a soft peck to his cheek.

Sanford questions if he’s more embarrassed by his reaction to your bite, or at how something so simple and innocent almost makes him just as flustered. In any case, it’ll provide him enough motivation to ask you to stay, at least for a little while. He’d like the company while he recovers, he reasons, and you accept the proposal every time. It’s a good way to monitor him (plus it’s just nice to cuddle into Sanford's side while he rests, not gonna lie). If Sanford happens to play up his condition a little more to get you to remain with him for another hour or five, then the others will just have to put up with it. (Forever would be better, he'd muse to himself as he tightens his arms around you...Maybe becoming a Vampire wasn't such a bad idea after all.)

- [DEIMOS] -

If there’s one word you would use to describe how Deimos acts when you bite him, it’s restless. His clawed fingers tap repeatedly on your waist and thigh as you loom over him, and he squirms with anticipation when you bring your face closer to his skin and your hands move up to pull his coat off his shoulders. No matter how you try to ease him into it, whether by doing it when you’re already cuddling him or during your other more comfortably intimate moments, he just doesn’t stop fidgeting.

(If you were someone with less experience (or maybe if Deimos had been anyone else), you might’ve been annoyed. But you were in no rush, and truthfully, you found it to be a little endearing.)

This doesn’t stop when you actually bite him, either. He might pause and hold his breath when your lips brush his skin, swallowing roughly when you stop over a spot you like, but this halts the moment your teeth actually pierce him. A loud cry will leave his lips before teetering off into an airy whine, his legs knocking into yours as his hips jolt under yours, forcing you to rebalance yourself as you instinctually clamp your jaws down a bit tighter. Something you’d do as a warning for your more expendable sources of blood, but the pain just forces another raspy moan from him.

Deimos is one of the quickest to fully lose himself to the sensations of you biting him, his mind going fuzzy and thoughts spiraling until the only thing that’s tethering him to the moment is you. Maybe it’s something about you being a vampire, or that it’s you who’s doing it to him, but the only thing he can focus on is your lips pressing roughly to his skin as you suck his blood into your mouth, your hands cradling him so carefully, and the weight of you over his body.

Deimos is probably one of the most vocal vessels you’ve had the pleasure of drinking from as well. His whines, raspy moans, and ardent praises fill your ears when you suck at his wounds, lapping his life essence up with restrained delight. During those few seconds where you have to pull your lips away to reorient yourself (mainly to stop from getting too into it and draining him dry), he whimpers little pleas for you to come back.

(“Fuck-wait, nonono, don’t stop, please.” He begs, trying to hold you tighter when he feels you wrench your mouth away from him with a wet squelch. No, you can’t leave him like this, you wouldn’t- You just laugh and hold him tighter, pressing a few bloody kisses to his jaw in a move that makes him blush a deeper shade of red, if that’s even possible.)

If it weren’t for the fact that everybody knows what you’re doing, you might’ve considered using your abilities to stop him from being so loud. You happen to find it extremely amusing (and perhaps a little cute) though, and the self-satisfaction of reducing him to such a messy state is enough to stop you from even dwelling on the idea. Come to think of it, messy really is the perfect adjective to describe the state you reduce him to when you drink.

Especially with how his noises rise slightly in pitch with each rough suck to his wound and his clawed fingertips scratch at your skin, hips bucking up while he squirms underneath your form like he’s trying to seek out friction from you. The only intelligible words from him are little praises, curses, and begs, intermittent with panting, moans, and raspy purrs. It’s so funny, just how little inhibition he has with acting this way around you. Not that you blame him that much; it’s normal, and he just can’t help himself.

(This won’t stop him from being mortified by his behavior afterward. Even if you’re okay with it, since it’s pretty natural for those you feed on, you still shouldn’t be seeing him like this when the situation shouldn’t call for it. It just isn’t proper. Then again…what if you like it?)

Sometimes, if you’re feeling particularly generous, you’ll brace a hand on his chin, tilting his head down as you remove your bloodied mouth from his neck and allowing him to regain at least some of his composure. It doesn’t work a good majority of the time, since he typically just whines out a complaint and arches his back as a way to try and return that closeness you had before. You still ask questions about how he is to try and bring him back to the moment (“Dei, you feeling alright? Lightheaded? Dizzy?”), because you're responsible enough to make sure he isn’t too out of it. A sly grin spreads across your face when you lean closer and delicately wipe the drool from his lips with your thumb, gauging his facial expression as you wait for some semblance of a response. (Again, very messy.)

Occasionally you don’t get one though, because even if he’s suffering from the effects of blood loss, most of the time he won’t even acknowledge it. This is partly due to how your abilities work to dampen that realization (something you try to lessen by stopping for those few minutes), but more importantly because he just really wants your mouth back on him. Even if he’s starting to feel a slight weakness creeping up on him and his pulse is rising dangerously high, the sensation of your lips on his jugular and your tongue lapping at his wounds fills him with an odd, stirring warmth that’s just too good.

You’d say that Deimos is lucky you have a lot of self-control for a vampire, otherwise you think you'd completely devour him. His blood is almost addictive; thicker than the others is due to the nicotine he consumes, and almost sticky. It’s like syrup to you. The reactions you get out of him just make the idea more tempting, especially since you can tell that he seems to desperately need more contact with you, to press together and have you swallow him whole so you'll never be apart. But you can't do that.

By the time you’re finished with him, he looks utterly debauched. Purring and in a strange trance as he looks at your blood-coated lips, another desperate noise leaving him when you lean back further. It'll take him a while to recuperate and get back to "normal" after this, so you keep an eye on him for the time being. It's not like it's difficult to justify when he hasn't actually let you go yet.

A small thought comes to Deimos' mind when you start to clean him up, gently swiping the residual blood away from his skin with your tongue, your saliva working quickly to heal up his wounds. Maybe he can get you to leave the bite next time? Or better yet, make it permanent?

#minors dni #tw: suggestive #tw: yandere #tw: biting #You (trying to convince them that biting them is a bad idea): I will own part of your soul if I drink your blood. #Them: You prommy? 🥺 #vampire!reader #self aware m:pn au #my writing #minors do not interact #samau #player!reader #yandere hank j. wimbleton #hank j. wimbleton x reader #yandere deimos #deimos x reader #yandere sanford #sanford x reader #yandere 2bdamned #2bdamned x reader #yandere madcom #yandere madness combat #smut warning

[dwangan-wonpwa]

here's a negative-leaning rant about saiouma, or more about the amount of content about it. read if you really want to (read more included, because i know it would be a pain in the ass to try to scroll and ignore a post like this)

(also tl;dr at the end... i should've pasted it here but uh-)

-🔎🎲-

i ship saiouma… sometimes. i used to love this pairing a lot, and it's what prompted me to love ouma more and more. but because of ouma being my favorite character, i decided to check out other pairings; from oumota, kiibouma, and oumeno, to irouma, oumami, and ougoku (side note: i can't really blame people for seeing this as problematic, but i truly don't believe it to be "toxic" or "abusive"). they're all really good ships which have my whole heart, so i focused on them more frequently, and took a break from saiouma. i even gave ouharu a shot, and yes, there's a lot of hate there, and i do prefer them to at least have a begrudging friendship, but like. it's interesting okay

of course, saiouma is the most popular ouma ship there is. seriously, it has around 4000 more works on ao3 than oumota, the second most popular. this is because it's the protag x antag ship, like komahina (which, holy shit, it has 5846 works on the sdr2 tag, while kuzupeko, the second most popular, has 987). so, being an ouma multi-shipper, who thinks saiouma is a decent ship but isn't that fixated about it anymore, seeing said ship pretty much everywhere? yeah, i was bound to get sick of it. well, not the pairing itself, mind you, but rather how oversaturated it was in my eyes.

it got to the point where, if i saw saiouma tagged in a fic, no matter how promising i thought the summary was, i would groan and try to motivate myself into reading it. like, if it had the same premise, but had a different ship/no ship at all, i would read it in a heartbeat. even if ouma was shipped with a character i had zero care about, then sure, i don't mind. (well, there certainly are exceptions, i have to admit)

yeah, that might sound a bit immature, but it's not like i won't read saiouma fics no matter what. it's just that oftentimes i simply can't gather the motivation to indulge in the pairing, if that makes sense. so it's a bit tiring when i keep seeing it when i really don't feel like it.

-🔎🎲-

there's also the thing with their dynamic. they're foils for truth and lies, yes, i can't deny that. but i feel like the main appeal of the ship is the fact that "saihara is a detective, and ouma is the personification of a mystery!"

…except, saihara kinda sucks at figuring ouma out? yeah, he can catch on to ouma's lies better than others, but if i remember correctly, that's only in the ftes/bonus modes. in the canon storyline, he couldn't realize that, hey, ouma is a liar, and his lying patterns tend to be quite complicated! that means he can lie about whether or not he's lying! but nope, let's just believe his claims to be the mastermind, because he's the only one cruel enough to manipulate a murder into happening without remorse, so there's no need to consider any other possibility besides the one he conveniently laid out for them. oh, not to mention the points that he makes occasionally, but they come from ouma, so there's no use to thinking about the validity of such statements.

saihara, you are an incredible detective, and you are the furthest thing to undeserving of your ultimate, but i don't think behavioral patterns are up your alley. i don't think saihara hates him, as he's more capable of tolerating him than most, but sometimes it's like he gets dumbed down for the sake of making ouma the antagonist.

(the saiouma fics i used to read had saihara getting flustered as a result of ouma's advances and "flirting," but in canon, he doesn't have much of a reaction to ouma's "my beloved" comments about him, at least, that's what i remember. i don't think "but the canon!" is a good reason for not shipping something, so this part is pretty minor, but i just had to point it out.)

-🔎🎲-

as i'm writing this, i realized: holy shit, when i first started to like ouma, i only got into saiouma because it was the most popular ouma ship. the only unique traits that charmed me about the pairing was saihara's ability to see through ouma's lies, and the sudden boldness he'd exhibit, but aside from that? i essentially treated the former as a blank canvas (sorry, saihara), only wanting some shippy ouma content. but after going through other pairings, those "unique" traits weren't so unique after all (a very good example is oumota. while yes, he trusts the notion he has of ouma, telling him he's a bad, untrustworthy person, he's still perceptive. this is shown by the way he's the only one who acknowledges the change in ouma's behavior in chapter 4. his boldness is also more prominent than saihara's, as well). how ironic that i'm starting to have a problem related with the ship because of the same thing that got me invested in the first place.

oh, but it's not like the aforementioned "detective and enigma" dynamic can't happen. we can be canon defiant and improve saihara's ability to understand and unravel ouma for the sake of bettering the ship. (ooh, and the methods of how he'll do so… fluctuating between analysis for ouma's lies and just spending time with him so that he'll open up at his own pace…)

so, it's not exactly a bland ship, but there are others that are more interesting to me, and deserve to have just as much popularity as saiouma does, in my opinion.

-🔎🎲-

tl;dr: in my opinion, saiouma's a decent ship, however, it's popularity is a bit undeserved when you take other pairings into account. i don't dislike it, but as someone who isn't that passionate about it, it annoys me how much content there is, while ships that i felt had equal amount of, if not more captivating dynamics weren't as popular due to the fact that saiouma was the protag x antag pairing.

#ngl this was written a bit poorly #but at least my opinions are there #...might revise it later though #dwangan wambles #saiouma negative #oumasai negative #ship negativity #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #kokichi oma #oma kokichi #shuichi saihara #saihara shuichi

[matan4il]

Different anon here but that Abby post made me laugh because I was just thinking how they also accidentally or intentionally created a parallel between Abbys mom and Eddies Christopher. They dont shy away from Christophers needs or the fact that yes there are challenges. But they made it so Buck can step into the situation with him. Not sure if that makes sense. Because sometimes I see people get annoyed I ship them as a family so hard. But for me, Christopher is such a huge dynamic of why they are so rootable. Buck shines so well in those nurturing roles. He really compliments Eddie so much as a father.

Like you know when they get married Bucks gonna demand that they honeymoon at the most inclusive resort he can find and of course Chris is coming too!!

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask! ^u^ I’m assuming you’re replying to this?

SO MUCH THIS! I know I addressed it at some point, but I have written so much Buddie meta, I'm now sure anymore where and can't check (if anyone can find it and point it out for me, I would be so grateful! Having Vertigo and having difficulties to read your own words truly sucks).

But it was just screaming so loudly at me, how reluctant Buck was in 109, how much he wanted to run away, until Bobby essentially told him to man up, meaning Buck stepped into the situation with Abby because he was told to. But in contrast in 204, he naturally steps into the situation with Eddie, even though Eddie isn't his bf and Buck has zero obligations, even indirect ones, regarding Chris, no one has to talk him into it, Buck CHOOSES to step into Eddie's mess with him, and he does it without hesitation, without regret, he finds the right solution for Eddie right away, and he only immerses himself further and further in even though he could have introduced Eddie to Carla and be done with it. But no. Because Buck WANTS to be there for the Diaz boys.

And I agree with you! Again, something I said at some point, I think maybe somewhere in my first round of Buddie meta, but what makes Buddie shine as a ship isn't just their dynamic, though that's stellar without a doubt. Buddie are so special because we have almost no slow burn male romances (I'm so close to saying "none outside of soap operas"), and because they're friends first, and because they could be include bi rep (one or both) which is STILL so overlooked even as more and more gay, lesbian and trans characters are included in a lot of shows. But they are ALSO REALLY SPECIAL in that they are a family with Chris. All three of these boys have fully embraced this family unit, and their love when they're together literally shines, just look at that scene at the end of 312!

And I fully agree with your headcanon about the Buddie wedding. In conclusion, the show is insane for this, and they made us insane too, but it's the best insanity ever! Thank you again! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #christopher diaz #buddie headcanon #buddie headcanons #chris diaz #ask #anon ask #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[rainbowcolored7]

I posted 7,268 times in 2022

That's 6,285 more posts than 2021!

432 posts created (6%)

6,836 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 6,763 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#kinnporsche - 2,099 posts

#kinnporsche the series - 1,241 posts

#vegaspete - 521 posts

#beyond evil - 328 posts

#mile phakphum - 297 posts

#😂😂😂 - 288 posts

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#kinnporsche art - 249 posts

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Longest Tag: 121 characters

#baby chay comes out to porsche and then years(?) later porsche gets to come out to chay and that's soooo💗😭😭🌼🌸🌈❤🌸💕

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Kim is the most terrifying brother and nobody can convince me otherwise. The way Jeff's eyes emote such violence and vicious danger??? I'm obsessed.

297 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

#4

Okay, now that I've had some time to rewatch and mull over all the information we have so far, I'm going to try and lay out my thoughts. It's gonna get long, I'd meant to do a strictly novel analysis of the scene before it aired, but life got in the way as usual. But I'm kind of glad, 'cause now I can compare the two.

There will be discussion of both the show and the novel below the cut, so if you're not interested in the novel or spoilers please pass this post by.

I'm going to start this off by saying that I am truly happy with the changes they've made in the show when it comes to the consensual aspect of the story between Kinn and Porsche. Also, as a warning, I'm going to be pulling personal experiences out to try and get my thoughts across properly. And, I don't do posts like this, like ever, so sorry if I make zero sense or talk way too much. I just have a lot of thoughts, and on the rare occasion my brain allows me to comprehensively share those thoughts, I need to take advantage.

Let's start this off from the beginning of episode 4. Porsche wakes up in Pete's bed, knows he kissed someone, can't remember, and spends the rest of the first half of the episode trying to piece things together. I know we like to joke about Porsche having a single braincell (and honestly sometimes boy... lol) but he's not an idiot and he does know how to read people. You can't be a good bartender or survive taking care of your family, young and alone, without having a decent grasp on human nature.

I think when Kinn called him up to the balcony and started asking him questions he left that conversation with a flickering of oh, I remember something happened and now Kinn is acting strangely (a theme he vocalizes later in the sauna). I think he's thinking, what did I do this time to make Kinn act so strangely (soft and flirtatious and joking around) towards me?

After he sees Kinn with his escort, realizes Kinn is gay, remembers what happened on the pier, and that what happened wasn't something he did but Kinn kissing him, he asks Pete if you should kiss someone you don't like (and the subtitles changed so don't at me...) , or aren't in a relationship with (or perhaps intentionally pursuing because you like them). Now, obviously, you can kiss people you don't like, but perhaps are just physically attracted to, and I'm sure something is lost in the translation. That or I'm just reading too much into it and Pete saying you only kiss people you like, 'cause baby boy, that ain't true. Side note, I have a feeling Pete might come to realize it isn't true when we get to the point of him with Vegas, but that's an entirely different egg to crack open. (I have also not read that far.)

Now, here, is where I want to point out just how differently Porsche reacts to what happened and how fucking ecstatic I am that they changed it completely. In the novel, Porsche struggles with a lot of internalized homophobia, though he's okay with Yok, who is trans, he mentions it took him some time to be okay with her, but he still recoils at people he thinks might be gay or someone of the same gender expressing interest in him. He frequently compliments men's looks, not just in a friendly way, and thinks about how attractive some men are, Kinn especially. In the novel, once he really realizes he's physically and sexually attracted to Kinn, Porsche has a fucking meltdown of an internal crisis over it. He even goes as far as hitting on all his guy friends trying to reason out why Kinn would be behaving the way he is towards him, and why he kind of likes it (but doesn't, but does, but doesn't etc.). The boy is a mess and in complete denial.

I'm assuming a lot here, and reading between the lines, but how I interpreted it was, Porsche had, at some point in his youth, like a lot of queer youth, gotten a lot of negative feedback about same sex attraction that really dug into his bones, and so whenever he feels anything more than friendship towards another man he freaks out and tries to bury it, all the while wanting it so badly he can't stop himself. i.e. kissing Kinn back and allowing Kinn to essentially do whatever he pleases while being vocally grumpy about it. In the novel, he doesn't know who he is when it comes to his sexuality, he's deep in denial about being bi, and actively fights against it.

The show ripped that all away and gave us the true chaotic bi king we love and adore, and who he should have been in the novel imo. Show Porsche is open, honest to a fault, accepting, understanding. Now, we haven't gotten verbal confirmation that Porsche is bi in the show, but from everything I've witnessed so far I feel safe in saying he's bi, pan, or just plainly doesn't give a fuck as long as he's getting pleasure from his encounters. He seems open to Kinn's attraction as well as his own, though to say for certain we will have to wait until episode 5, where I'm hoping they touch on this subject some more, and I hope it's on the good side in line with the changes from novel Porsche we've gotten so far. (I'm down for some turmoil about him having sex with his boss, but please keep the biphobia out please please).

As much as I'd like to get more into the lead up to the real juicy stuff, I just don't have the energy. So, let's get into the gritty of it, shall we? The drugging scene. We finally made it here. A lot faster than I was expecting? Absolutely. Does it still feel organic after the previous three episodes? If Kinn hadn't said Porsche had been at the compound for a month, yes, but since he did, no.

Porsche has been with Kinn, Khun, the other bodyguards, for a whole month. He's been learning, adjusting, actively trying to become a better bodyguard. The reasons behind his change of heart seem to be him finally coming to the realization of what a serious situation he's landed himself in. It's life or death, his life isn't the only one on the line here, it's everyone around him as well. He's clearly beginning to really care about the well-being of his fellow bodyguards (mainly Pete, Arm, Pol) and Khun and Kinn.

Also, after episode 3, it was clear to me that Porsche finds Kinn physically attractive, and I do believe wanting some kind of approval from Kinn was another motivator. He's curious about Kinn, he's attracted to him, he's leaning into it.

Kinn, poor baby, is having a beautiful emotional crisis, and a lot of that I think is thanks to Mile really pouring his entire being into fleshing Kinn out and turning him into a "well" rounded person rather than the power hungry, totally domineering, bastard asshole, very surface, no depth, Kinn we have in the novel. The changes they've made to Kinn are fucking delightful, and I'm adoring the added depth and emotional vulnerability they've given him.

In the novel, Vegas sexually assaults Porsche. Without penetration, but Kinn does find him in his underwear with marks all over his body. This was one of the parts I was most worried about them adapting in the show. (I will note here, I have not read past the official translation of 1/4 of the novel--which ends with my favorite spicy scene so far and god I hope they give it to us!--the rest I have sought out from fans so it's not a complete picture). The change they made was nice (as nice as beginning to assault someone can be...), and I'm glad we didn't have to go that far. They've clearly changed Vegas a bit, though how much is yet to be seen. I'm holding my judgment for now.

Kinn's internal monologue during the drugging scene is, well, rough to say the least. But that can be said for the novel as a whole. Reading it felt like reading a fic written by a teenager from the early 00's, and not in the good way. Kinn seems like a consent King, but after telling Porsche he'd stop if Porsche told him to, he doesn't. He fucks Porsche all night long, to the point of needing to take him to the hospital the next day because he's bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain. It has its hot moments, but it's rough and gross, and I'm so glad it's been changed in the show.

What the show gave us is stunning in comparison. What the show gave us is fucking beautiful imo. Porsche, after remembering Kinn kissed him, after witnessing him with his escort, after listening to Pete, Porsche takes all of that information and once again, leans into it. He goads Kinn, he flirts with him, he asks him questions not any normal bodyguard would ask. "If your brother didn't give me up, would you even think to take me back?" Any other guard wouldn't give a shit, but Porsche needs to know. There are so many reasons this could be, but I think the main factors are a need for approval, his newfound desire to protect this family, his attraction and curiosity for Kinn, and a need to prove himself as a competent man, which he is in all rights when he puts his mind to something.

There's also something to be said about an unspoken and underlying desire to be cared for, something Porsche has never really had for most of his life. He's always been the caretaker, for Che, for his uncle even. I know y'all noticed how good he is at taking care of Tankhun? It's because he's in a familiar roll, he knows how to do this with ease. Kinn on the other hand? Someone who doesn't need coddling and caring for? He doesn't know how to handle that, but after his initial rebellion, after seeing some different sides of Kinn, he wants back in. I think, subconsciously at this point, he sees how Kinn would take care of him and he wants it.

Yes, Porsche is drugged. Yes, being under the influence makes consent iffy, but it does not mean Porsche did not give his consent or wasn't able to. Porsche may not have given verbal consent, what he did do is give consent in every other possible way, and that is what Kinn responded to. Porsche joked with Kinn about wanting to see him naked, playfully slapped his hands away, and each time Kinn respectfully pulled back. Those examples are a clear lack of consent, and Kinn responded appropriately to them. But as soon as Porsche changed gears so did Kinn, still yet with reluctance because of Porsche's state and also his brewing feelings. It wasn't one-sided, it was a push and pull on both ends.

I know there will be some who disagree with me, and that's fine. I'm pulling from my own experiences here, and what I saw in episode 4 was consensual and not rape in the slightest. I've done a lot of things in my 30+ years that I'm not proud of, certainly, but even fall-over drunk, even sky-high on drugs, I was able to give and deny consent. Was it a good idea? Of course not. Do I have regrets? Some. But being young and reckless, well, me and Porsche seem to have that in common. I mean, Porsche is in his early twenties, and my early twenties were quite literally a blur of alcohol, drugs, parties, and bad (but fun) decisions.

Porsche was high as a kite, but he was also coherent. Porsche was the one pulling Kinn in. Porsche was the one verbally and non-verbally saying yes, please, I know you want this, I want it too can't you see? Let me show you. Not to mention, no sugarcoating, having sex when you're high is fucking awesome and, frankly, I don't think this is a first for Porsche. Also, I want to mention, and this is really important, if you throw up while you're high it does sober you up a bit. It dampens the experience and brings you back into your mind. I can say this with absolute certainty, I've done it several times.

Another thing I want to point out in regard to consent is Porsche never once told Kinn no. Never once did he tell him to stop. Porsche was smiling constantly, he was taking initiative, he was undressing Kinn himself, he wanted all of what happened. Will he regret it the next day? Probably. We will have to wait and see. But bottom line, the show changed this scene for the better, a lot better.

Anyway, this was less of an analysis and more of a thought word vomit 'cause I've been wanting to talk about this scene for weeks now, and I'm also sick and tired of people saying it was rape in the tags. Kinn did not rape Porsche. Porsche gave non-verbal consent, and yes it is possible to give consent when under the influence, even if it's not a good idea. This is not the hill we need to be dying on. Let's wait for VegasPete for that, shall we?

Please, do not fucking come for me. I'm down to discuss, but I will not respond to bullshit. Thanks. ❤️

305 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

#3

So, how long was Pete in Vegas' torture dungeon before they moved to the safehouse? How long was Pete tied to that pillar? When was the last time Pete took a shower? Mans has been sweating profusely for a day or two at least and Vegas just... licks him? Sir, ya nasty. Good for you.

346 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#2

I have watched this an unhealthy amount I 🥵🥵🥵

366 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just can't get this particular moment out of my head. It just keeps replaying again and again, and I lose my mind a little bit more each time because Pete is taller than Vegas but that moment after he first kisses him and Vegas kisses him back he drops down like his knees gave out on him. He kissed Vegas and it made him weak in the knees. He kissed Vegas and his knees gave out. He kissed Vegas and his knees gave out. He kissed he he knees he kissed Vegas and knees he gave out he

1,031 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #Vegaspete #Lololol the longest tag isn't even mine it's a prev tag 😭 #I definitely wrote longer ones tf #The sheer amount of posts just bc kp is insanity #I am living #My stuff

[chisiuwu]

sorry for disappearing from here, i'm still drawing but i kind of took a break from social media some weeks ago and i didn't bother to update tumblr. i will come back and post my latest drawings soon, but i probably won't read dms, reblogs, notes or asks for a while. maybe months. a friend showed me my inbox messages (i was too anxious to open them myself--) and most of them were nice, so thank you for supporting me, it genuinely means a lot that you took the time to write nice words and reach out to me; to the person who asked me to tag more properly certain arts, i will take your critique into consideration too

if you follow me in other social media, you probably already noticed i disabled notifications, replies and dms, and it seems that i'm pretty much unreachable. i don't particularly enjoy it either, but this is better than having strangers making me uncomfortable – i said it on twitter but, fandom drama* apart, i'm not a very social person and comments are a bit overwhelming now that my art is popular (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) i do appreciate every single good reply i get, but twitter and instagram (especially twitter) are very hostile towards art, in the sense that it gets seen for only 5 seconds and people act either like the artist won't read what they have to say or like they need to please people's desires. the good thing is that i'm not a very emotional person either and now that the Big Thing is over i can just relax and enjoy the very few interactions i get from my mutuals and friends

(*the fandom drama in question was adressed in a twitter thread i don't regret making even though it got blown out of proportion. i said what i said and i thought about it very carefully before posting it)

the reason i'm spilling my thoughts here is precisely because tumblr posts survive better than tweets or whatever the hell insta stories are. i can freely say what i need to say not having to adjust my words into a certain format. for example, i wanted to remind everyone that i'm not mad over people who unfollowed or broke the mutual for whatever reason. especially if you're an artist and we kind of got along, i genuinely hold no resentment and it'd be okay for me to interact again (except if you subtweeted me in that case k1ll y0urself). i also ran a chainblock extension on google chrome that basically blocked every quote i had on certain tweets, or people retweeting tweets calling me out. i have literally zero memory of who said what, and if you either got caught up or you have changed your mind and want to get unblocked, you can try to get in contact with any of my mutuals to tell me! last thing i want to say is a bit obvious, but i ever create something that makes anyone uncomfortable, i can't care less about being unfollowed over it. i am educated enough to understand what kind of impact my art has, and if anything i ever did was truly hurtful, my friends would tell me. i am just drawing anime lesbians

so, if you've read this far: 1) i won't stop making art, don't worry about me because i will come back and i am also one of the very few mentally stable lgbt people in the world 2) it always makes me incredibly happy to connect with others through my works, and i'm very thankful towards every person that has ever left a positive impact on my life, even towards those who are silently following for any reason they may have. i hope you are all having a nice day ♡

[flawedamythyst]

I posted 550 times in 2022

That's 25 more posts than 2021!

56 posts created (10%)

494 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@raedear

@forpiratereasons

@winterhawk-olympic-bang

@snake-snack-stede

@thirdspin

I tagged 367 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 173 posts

#the old guard - 62 posts

#marvel - 40 posts

#ofmd - 30 posts

#whob - 27 posts

#my fic - 25 posts

#winterhawk olympic bang - 19 posts

#immortal husbands - 16 posts

#winterhawk - 14 posts

#nicky/joe - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i try to be normal about it all but also there is a part of me that would really like her to get divorced and go back to her maiden name

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I need you all to know that I am 11 working days away from leaving my public-facing job at the UK's largest military charity, yes the one with 'royal' in the name, the Queen as our patron and a supporter base that is largely elderly and very patriotic, and I am taking it as a personal insult that the Queen has chosen to make those last days a living hell for me. I am going to have so many phone calls where I'll have to be 'saddened by this great loss' and 'touched by your kind words'.

Just...why would the Queen pick on me like this? What did I ever do to her?

17 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#4

This is SV Tenacious, the only tall ship in the world designed and built to be sailed by a truly mixed ability crew, including including disabled people, those with mental health conditions or long-term ill-health issues. She has features such as wheelchair lifts and wide decks that provide equal and easy access throughout the ship, a speaking compass that enables those with visual impairments to steer the ship and signage in braille, guidance tracks, tactile stair strips and raised directional arrows on handrails for people with visual impairments.

I’ve sailed on her several times, and seen wheelchair users go up the mast and visually impaired people steer her into harbour, and the impact on people’s self-confidence that being a full part of the crew, able to take part in every aspect of sailing a ship, has on people.

All her voyages had to be cancelled over the pandemic, and now the charity that runs her, the Jubilee Sailing Trust, are facing administration if they can’t raise a certain amount by Thursday 14th. If they do, it will be a huge loss for a lot of people.

I realise this is a difficult time, financially, for lots of people, but if you can spare anything to help keep them going, please do, or even just share this post in case others can help. This charity means a lot to me and my family.

You can donate here.

They’re currently ringfencing donations made so if they do go into administration, anything you donate will be refunded.

20 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

#3

The Old Guard | Joe/Nicky | Teen | 21,249 words

Three different times, hundreds of years apart, when Nicky waited for his soulmate timer to tick down to zero.

“Ah, so you are soulmates,” said the scientist, Kozak, turning Joe’s wrist in the restraints to see his zeroed numbers. “We weren’t sure.”

 She was holding a scalpel in one hand. Nicky couldn’t take his eyes off it, knowing that it was going to be slicing into Joe’s flesh soon.

 “We’ve never kept a secret of our love,” said Joe. “Nicky is everything to me. And you’re intending to hurt him. How do you think that will end for you?”

 Kozak gave him a dismissive look, one which Nicky was sure she would come to regret. “I’ve always wondered how these work,” she said, looking back down at the faint red of Joe’s numbers. “They make no biological sense, you know."

Written for @oldguardbigbang

With art by @iwritesometimes

24 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#2

Marvel | Clint/Bucky | Explicit | 48,865 words

Written for @winterhawk-olympic-bang

Clint and Bucky have been fucking after missions for a while but as long as Bucky tells himself they’re just buddies letting off steam, he can pretend it doesn’t mean anything queer. Which works great, right up until it doesn’t.

Just as he’s trying to distance himself from Clint to avoid the mess he’s made, an altercation with a mutant ends with both of them sent back in time to the place Bucky still considers home: 1939 Brooklyn.

Trying to lay low and not fuck up the timeline, they're forced to depend on each other to survive in the past. While Bucky slowly starts to work through his issues, Clint throws a wrench in the works by making pals with the guys next door - a much younger Bucky and Steve.

Been waiting to post this for so long! Hope you all enjoy it! Mind the homophobia tags.

Also keep an eye out the fantastic embedded art by @kangofu-cb and @claraxbarton!

73 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Is there any greater AO3 crime than marking a fic as Complete when it isn’t?

146 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[unforth]

Random thought...

A core anti tenant is anti-redemption arc. An abuser is an abuser forever, to an anti, so ships between an abuser and the person they've abused is The Actual Worst and people who ship it, oh, how dare they. Writing fanfic that redeems someone? Writing original fic that redeems someone? Anathema!

Yet antis very frequently consider themselves "woke" and when I'm poking at anti blogs I often will see posts in favor of (for example) prison abolition.

Which means that antis think that FICTIONAL abusers can't be redeemed but REAL abusers can be?

And they believe these things with zero sense of irony or hypocrisy?

Idk, it's just always surreal to me how these peoples' brains must work.

(My guess is that they have never thought for two minutes what abolishing prisons would actually mean, what kinds of people that would truly free. And don't get me wrong: I'M pro abolishing prisons. But then, I believe abusive people can learn or be taught to not be abusive in the vast majority of cases. Antis don't.)

(train that got me here:

saw an ask in the 2ha tag about "I'd heard the book was just yaoi rape shit"

which got me thinking about how many antis are "anti the very existence of 2ha" and "2ha fans DNI"

which got me thinking about how 2ha is fundamentally about redemption (which is also what the responder to that ask said, good for them!)

which got me thinking about how antis say "it doesn't matter, the character(s) did horrible stuff, that makes the media horrible, how dare you sympathize with them!"

which got me thinking in general about personally being someone with a history of abuse, and how incredibly difficult it is to fix oneself after that and learn NOT to be that person (with an aside that, hello, abusive people and abused people are often...the same person!! and healing from one's own abuse often requires facing how one has paid that abuse forward!)

which got me thinking how insanely harmful it is when some teenager screams aBuSeRs WiLl AlWaYs Be AbUsIvE, and then they turn around and...abuse and harass someone...

Dear teenage antis, when you're 30 and realize that you've been abusive this whole time, I hope you'll grant yourself the grace you refused, when younger, to grant others. But from what I've seen...you probably won't, because you'll be too busy rationalizing your own actions to ever see the abuse you've perpetrated as abuse, which, hypocritically, ironically, and hilariously, makes you, oh anti, the exact kind of person you claim to hate - an abuser who cannot be redeemed.)

#unforth rambles #drama #i don't know why i'm posting this #i often muse on shit like this but never end up writing it up #yet here we are #i think i'm just out of it over tired and procrastinating today

[that-is-just-so-typically-me]

Lmao I was trying to find an old audio post of an ancient meme on this app and the app’s search engine apparently can’t let you search by post type but it DOES populate a list of your most frequently used tags and it turns out one of those for my blog is my ex’s name because I’d forgotten I used to put her name in the tags when I’d share posts that reminded me of her and us, so I know you’re wondering and the answer is yes of course my self-harming dumb ass clicked it and scrolled through! And I am now just like absolutely leveled down to the foundations! 🙃 I just got to have a fully global mind-body physical flashback as I began to read the posts and literally feel sensations in my body that I hadn’t felt since some indeterminate point in recent years when the pain of the more recent memories finally and fully occluded my ability to recall how it felt to be with her when we were happy. Like, I’ve always remembered but for years now it must be that I’d only ever remembered like data points about how I felt and how it was, but like how still photographs communicate what a place is like, compared to how physically being there we actually know what a place is like. It was like stepping into my own body in 2017 and re-living that exact moment in time where I saw and reblogged that post. That’s something I only ever do with the night she left me, or some of the other top ten most scarring/painful/regret-choked moment between us.

I feel like I practically had the wind knocked out of me. For a brief moment being in my body felt in a way, such a happy, light, joyful, innocent way, in this way that I realized I had literally forgotten I could ever feel or had ever felt, it seemed as formless and insubstantial as a dream recalled from childhood, just a few frames and the sweeping narrative arc. These days I cannot IMAGINE how the girl writing those posts was feeling that she could write such silly loving happy things for someone and that it was not only possible but safe and okay and wanted that you do and say and feel those things! I think for years now if you’d have erased my memory entirely and asked me if such pure, innocent happiness could exist in this world for me (or what that even means), I would’ve absolutely said “no” and probably laugh in your face. It feels like the person who made those posts couldn’t have *possibly* been me, because I am not the kind of person who would ever even be so bold as to claim that I DESERVE to want such things, it would be wasted on me.

As I write this I realize the self-concept in me that is dominant almost to the exclusion of all other “me”s basically talks to me as Cinderella’s stepsisters talked to her and made her feel, that she is so ugly and pathetic and unwanted that to want to get dressed up go to the ball is hysterically funny and embarrassing because she’ll never be beautiful or wanted by the prince and the whole ballroom will laugh at her. The idea that I could put my mother’s ancient moth-eaten dress and go to the ball hoping for love again when every girl at the ball is a real princess, and lovely, and charming, is like so zero degrees K unattainable in the perspective of the strongest voice in my head, that it’s truly unFATHOMABLE to me now that someone like that ever chose me and made me feel chosen and loved me and made me feel loved!! Like it feels like crazy talk to my heart. Who could ever have possibly loved your garbage ass when there are Robins in the world? So my brain, who in years has only visited these emotional rooms whose boards I’ve trod thin with my agonized and infinite pacing, has sort of stripped the knowledge of those past feelings from my body as immaterial, cut the cognitive load to only what I need to know to survive. My brain has felt so unsafe for so long that it’s marshaled every neural node to the cause of studying that pain because we have to figure out how to make it stop somehow.

I know that I’m rambling and making a truly scant amount of sense. But to try and finish expressing this if I even can, this is somehow the weirdest flashback I have ever had though definitely about as desolating as the rest. It dawns on me now as I write this (again, this rambling is absolutely brought to you by me, journaling in real-time the instant I got like 12 posts deep into that tag) that the actual reason my “inner bully” is so ruthlessly cruel to me is because she thinks she’s protecting “us” and this is the best way she knows how to keep us safe because she must stop me from doing that thing we learned was so painful that it almost destroyed us. And therefore, the fact that I can’t remember the physical reality of how good it felt before I lost it is because it’s actually more painful to have to briefly live again in a body that knew every corner of that wonderful feeling only to be jerked back on the immediate pendulum swing to a body that knew nothing but an acid-eaten hole where that feeling used to live, staring down the endless landscape stretched ahead of me where the sun has not risen in four years and I’m practically despaired of all hope it’s anything but gone forever. Like that feeling was so beautiful, a weightlessness I can’t possibly explain, and then the terrible crashing of the familiar and asphyxiating lead blankets around my shoulders again. That was very fucking uncool lmao and I think I literally would rather my flashbacks of the bad memories, at least I have calluses so thick there at this juncture that when cut feel a pain no more remarkable than my hip pain, a constant companion like a radio playing in the background while I go about my day, omnipresent and only occasionally warranting any focus. There the skin is practically just an open wound.

I feel like I am stained by all of this and I just want to scrub my skin raw to get every memory off of me so I don’t have to know how good things were and aren’t and will never be again, how bad things got and what I learned to hate about myself, I just want to be free. I want to be free of this. I am so afraid that despite all my trying I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life.

[dmicld]

Is it alright to ask for you to talk about dmcl I love seeing your tags on posts about them ;w;

AH YES!! I essentially take any and all opportunities to talk about them I love them so much.

I’m not sure if there are any specific thoughts you’d like so I’m pretty much just going to word vomit my favorite aspects of their dynamic and how I understand them but !!

I’ve mentioned this before in a post but I love that dimitri and claude essentially function to subvert their expectations of each other. The two connect so well and have such a fantastic synergy because both their “superficial” and “deeper” characters are compatible. it makes dmcl the type of couple that grows into themselves really well and gives great contrast between the two; it’s easy to highlight the finer points of their differences because they can also be so similar—I think this is also what makes their banter so good.

To put it really simply I think dimitri essential has this prince charming > fall from grace > resurrection into his true/whole self arc while claude essentially is presented as charming schemer > deeply held (selfless) dream > compassionate leader. like you basically get the serious/playful dynamic between their initially presented characters and then it’s subverted when both are much more complicated and contradictory than first presented BUT THEN it is subverted again as they both grow into who they can be. I hope this makes sense but essentially the things that they keep hidden strengthen their overall dynamic; like dimitri’s gentleness, seriousness and compassion fits well with claude’s easygoing attitude, charm, and mischief BUT ALSO the fact that dimitri is capable of extreme violence and chooses to be better is SO interesting when paired with the fact that all of claude’s “scheming” comes from the impulse to either end conflict with as few casualties as possible or his ultimate dream of bringing people together.

so going off this I think dimitri would be drawn to claude because he’s someone that walks through life “lightly”—he smiles and laughs often, and he has an easy and charming demeanor. I think this + their lack of history would honestly really appeal to dimitri? being in claude’s presence wouldn’t hold the same baggage or expectations as it would with anyone else because they’re essentially social equals but also complete strangers before white clouds. he basically has a chance to be just “dimitri” to claude without bearing the responsibility of his future (as he is not claude’s future king) or being reminded of the baggage of his past in the context of their relationship. add to this the fact that they’re both house leaders and it’s essentially a “clean slate” (for both of them, actually; I imagine claude’s familiarity with fodlan before the academy is essentially entirely limited to the alliance and its most eastern territories). I think dimitri desperately DOES want to connect with people in white clouds, but his own reservations wrt his “deserving” to do so (he sees himself as monstrous, only useful as a warrior/tool for revenge, unable to be himself compared to what people need/expect of him, etc) compounded with how immensely painful his personal history is with the blue lions he would naturally be close to makes it so difficult for him to reach out and truly find intimacy with others. I think claude’s “lightness” and having zero expectations for a different “dimitri” (lol felix) is SUCH a compelling way to explore their dynamic at the academy as a result of this. who can they be to each other when they aren’t required to be specifically anything at all? 

conversely I think claude would find dimitri straightforward, earnest, honest, and... kind of intense? focused? I suppose I think he’d realize immediately that dimitri is someone who doesn’t do anything by halves and takes no pains to hide that. I think he’d also just be drawn in by dimitri’s… accidental charm? idk I just think it’s funny how forward dimitri can be, but I don’t think he always means it EXACTLY in that way. I think claude can dish it but not take it, and I think dimitri sometimes dishes it without even realizing. claude probably finds himself flustered and charmed just as often as dimitri does, but I don’t think dimitri always realizes what he’s doing jdgdjskshdjd. also also claude would definitely catch on to dimitri’s super dry/lightly bullying sense of humor pretty early, and I think he’d just find it so charming and attractive? like here’s prince charming and he’s actually kind of a menace <3 on purpose <3 and he gets away with it <3

BUT at the same time I imagine dimitri and claude have a “like recognizes like” situation, and they each realize that they both are showing and hiding parts of themselves deliberately. I think this sort of canniness on dimitri’s part would be VERY interesting to claude and he’d find this opaqueness almost… alluring? I think it would draw claude in; claude chooses strange places or opportunities to take risks, and I think dimitri would be one of them. so I think claude realizing that dimitri has this straightforwardness and earnestness (which I DO think are genuine qualities of his personality and not a “front”) while also hiding parts of himself deliberately and intentionally? idk I just think he’d find that sort of fascinating and compelling.

Conversely, I think dimitri would also recognize that there are parts of claude that claude chooses to hide. but dimitri IS patient and kind and he can be very emotionally perceptive. I think he sort has a sense when he’s treading around other people’s hurt/baggage..? and I think his default is to be respectful of that in whatever way bests suits the situation (think his supports w/ marianne vs. hapi); so I think while he would definitely WANT to know about these parts of claude that claude feels he must keep hidden, I also think he’d respect (and trust!) claude to come to him with them when he so chooses.

this all culminates in my thoughts that I really believe they both recognize and choose to see the best in each other, even when they can’t do it for themselves. I think claude’s natural optimism and hope are good for dimitri’s actual pessimism/fatalism and tendencies toward self-loathing, and I think dimitri’s earnest desire to see claude as GOOD and putting his trust in him would be so... healing for both of them? it's maybe a bit sappy but I do really love that. how good they can be for each other. how gentle they would choose to be toward one another. how they each have their baggage, trauma, and blind spots, but they “fit” in such a way that they can help each other through these things and grow together!! I think they also just have so much love that they? want to give? 

GOD this is SO LONG but wrapping up: I just love how their few moments of canon development together encourages such strong and meaningful interpretations of their relationship. I think the game sort of sets you up to believe they’re at least friendly with each other in white clouds, given that they are seen talking together (at the beginning of white clouds) + fighting together in the battle for the monastery cutscene (at the end of white clouds). AND THEN the golden deer’s plea my beloved. most insane chapter in the game tbh for what it does for a ship that probably said a total of five lines in canon to each other before that. there’s actually a bunch of little things I’d want to talk abt from this chapter and post ts but obviously literally everything abt that chapter in general is the big one so I couldn’t go without mentioning it!! closing remark is that obviously their solo endings should just be shmushed together. it would be so easy

#i pinned this because i just keep thinking abt it and them <3 #this is SO LONG i’m SO sorry #dimiclaude #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #I think if I started talking ant post ts I'd also never stop #*abt post ts #but know I have MANY golden deers pleas thoughts... #also the dlc crumbs my beloved #one day im gonna write the most unhinged ship manifesto #x #ask #dmcl

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

~*~

Hello Mojo, hope you're doing well and that you had a good break! I wanted to signal boost the MDZS May Diaspora event collection on AO3, and point out my favorite fic from there: 归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by dragongirlG! It's both tender and bittersweet and it features such mature writing. The author got some hate for it when it initially got posted so I wanted to counter that and give it some love instead! [Who would do such a thing?!  @dragongirlg-fics I’m sorry that happened to you, and here, have *so many hugs!* I’ll try to do a thing just for the diaspora event, but meanwhile, I’ll just treat this as a follower rec.]

归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home

by dragongirlG (M, 8k, wangxian)

Summary:  The destruction of the Yin Tiger Seal does not kill Wei Wuxian; it ages him instead. He takes shelter in a cave expecting to die, but instead he lives, slowly learning to embrace life with each new day.

Thirteen years later, a young man with a Lan forehead ribbon stumbles into the cave. His name is Lan Sizhui.

~*~

Hi Momjo!!! I recently read the most *adorable* fic, and I loved it so much that it dragged me out of seclusion (read: social anxiety cave) to rec it. It's called 'Covered in Bees' by ScarlettStorm in which the Cloud Recesses is an apiary, and Wei Wuxian has suddenly found himself host to a swarm of bees. ~ @akyra-talanoa

Covered in Bees

by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, wangxian)

Summary: “Cloud Reccesses Apiary,” says a toneless, deep masculine voice, with zero question in it. Wei Ying doesn’t care, because whoever possesses that voice is probably going to come save him from bees like a fucking hero while wearing like, a suit of armor. That’s what you wear to catch bees, right?

“I have like, so many bees outside my front door right now,” he says, mouth running out ahead of him before he can even begin to think about reining it in. “It’s like a sandstorm of bees out there. There are so many bees. I got out of my car and there were just bees and I don’t want these bees. Do you want these bees? Please tell me you will come get these bees. I can’t leave my house and I have enough food for maybe a week but then I’m gonna have to learn how to cook dry beans and no one wants that, especially not me.” Wei Ying runs out of air, takes a breath, and belatedly adds, “My name is Wei Ying. Hi.”

Or: The beekeeping AU that no one asked for.

~*~

Hi, you are a bless to this fandom. Your blog feels like a library, so thoroughly arranged and always within hand reach. [Thank you, wow!]  Recently, I was going through Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn is a Wēn tag and came across a fanfic, it has 3 chapters till now and is so intriguing that i thought to recommend it to you. I don't know if I can recommend or if you have already checked the story, The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon by Devipriya. I am in love with this story. I hope you will enjoy it too, do check it out

The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon

by Devipriya (T, 7k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wen Wuxian, the essence of who he is, he is a naughty child, a prankster, an enchanting dizi player, a graceful dancer, an irresistible lover, a truly valiant warrior, a ruthless vanquisher of his foes, a man who left a broken heart in every home, an astute statesman and kingmaker, a thorough gentleman, a righteous individual of the highest order, and the most colorful incarnation.

He has been seen, perceived, understood and experienced in many different ways by different people. Different people saw different facets of who he is. For some, he is God. For some, he is a crook. For some, he is a lover. For some, he is a fighter. He is so many things.

But the phoenix, seen from the eyes of time was just a playful man. A man who plays with his awareness, with his imagination, with his memory, with his life, with his death. An individual who does not just dance with somebody. He dances with life. He dances with his enemy, He dances with the one he loves, He dances even at the moment of his death.

To taste an essence of who is Wen Wuxian, be with me in the journey of exploration, NO! playful exploration of life of a playful man.

~*~

Hi! Thanks for running this blog, it's helped me find so many fics. For your next follower recs post, I wanted to rec "This love like a flood, a fire, a fear" by natcat5. Its summary is vague (which I suspect is why it isn't better known) but it is a beautiful retelling of canon from LWJ's POV with slight canon divergence. I love the author's characterization of him and the prose is gorgeous. It is easily my favorite fic in the entire fandom, and I don't say that lightly. ~ @nyanja14

This love like a flood, a fire, a fear

by natcat5 (M, 57k, wangxian, lan wangji & lan xichen)

Summary:  “I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch everything go wrong.”   - Lemony Snicket

~*~

i came to this ask to rec this baseball one called "Waiting for Spring" by thievinghippo on ao3. It somehow made me care about baseball soooo 'nough said ~ @scifikimmi

Waiting for Spring

by thievinghippo (E, 131, wangxian)

Summary:  “It is a well-known fact across the major leagues that one does not smack Lan Wangji’s ass.”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. Everyone smacks everyone’s ass in baseball. It’s how the game is played. Lan Wangji does not get to be exempt from this most sacred of baseball traditions.

Wei Wuxian will make sure of that.

Or, a Major League Baseball AU

~*~

hi mojo! i wanted to rec Something Good by boxoftheskyking (a loose sound of music/canon divergence au) and also MDZS: The Golden Engine by iffervescent (immortal wangxian modern au where they gotta solve a mystery and save china, featuring jiang cheng/lan xichen)

Something Good

by boxoftheskyking (T, 43k, wangxian)

Summary:  "That Wei Wuxian, you know he used to be such a promising cultivator. Head Disciple of the Jiang Clan, can you believe it? You see, juniors, the punishment for traveling the path of demonic cultivation. No golden core, not so much as a whisper of spiritual power."

As a punishment for real and imagined crimes, Wei Wuxian is sentenced to work at Cloud Recesses as the lowest of servants. When a surprising reassignment lands him with eleven children to care for, everything changes again.

A Sound of Music AU

MDZS: The Golden Engine

by iffervescent (E, 82k, wangxian, xicheng)

Summary:  In the modern era, immortals Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian return to Gusu. New evil and old friends + new friends and old evils.

~*~

Hi Mojo! First of all let me just tell you that you are amazing and this blog is like a gift from the gods! Bless you and your endless patience and hard work. [Oh, thank you so much!]  I know that you have just accepted follower recs and I have missed miserably but I still wanted to write and bring attention to a writer by the pseudo Xiao_Hua on ao3, I think they are quite good and I just recently found the account with so much content. If you do have the time to check them out, I'd rec catfish, my fox or the red ribbon.

The Red Ribbon

by Xiao_Hua (M, 21k, wangxian, TGCF crossover)

Summary:  Wei WuXian died but not before saving HanGuang-Jun and A-Yuan, leaving so much more behind than just his ribbon.

My Fox

by Xiao_Hua (E, 13k, wangxian)

Summary:  Once he headed to YiLing that all changed for him. His priorities have been mingled with and ordered in complete disarray even without him noticing as he was left heavily influenced by a creature.

Or one where Lan WangJi is a dragon-spirit and he finds his mate in the form of a fox.

Catfish

by Xiao_Hua (E, 15k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wei WuXian has a common sense that believes it has a nine-to-five job while Lan WangJi finds that incredibly hot.

Or one where two catfish realise that neither of them truly catfished.

~*~

Hi Mojo i'm recommending this amazing fic it is called song of joys and regrets. it's a time travel AU it's amazing. And your Blog is a Godsend Thank you! [Aw, you’re so sweet!]  ~ @highgoddess

Song of Joy and Regrets

by HelloKitten (not rated, 59k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Archery competition at Qishan this year has hit a snag. As the Sects face the wrongs perpetrated by their future selves, Wei Wuxian finds himself adopted by half of the cultivation world who are determined to save him from himself.

Baby Wangxian suffers. Adult Wangxian's job here is done.

"I'm starting to see a pattern to all his plans..." "Do they all involve him being bait?" "Yes" came deadpanned responses.

~*~

Here’s a 2021 Reverse Big Bang entry, in time for Father’s Day; [Oops, my bad, sorry!]  Under a Blanket of Black Wings, by ChaoticAndrogynous (#31398395); LWJ, recuperating from the 33 lashes, tells A-Yuan a series of fairytales about a heroic monster and the brave little boy he befriended. Vampire! WWX (in the framing story as well as the story-within-the-story); happy ending.

Under a Blanket of Black Wings

by ChaoticAndrogynous (T, 19k, wangxian)

Summary:  Lan Wangji tells A-Yuan a bedtime story about a beautiful monster and the brave little boy who was his friend. Thirteen years later, the monster returns.

~*~

Hello Mojo! Have you read ‘Key Differences’ by Pupeez4eva? Its a MDZS!WWX meets CQL!WWX and its really good! [It’s on my list!]

Key Differences

by pupeez4eva (T, 6k, wangxian)

Summary:  “I don’t understand,” Wei Wuxian said, while his alternate self continued to stare at him with almost a look of hurt in his eyes. There was longing in there too, which Wei Wuxian would have easily recognised if he paid enough attention. “How could you not get together, after everything. What even went on in the Guanyin Temple if you didn’t confess?”

“The Guanyin Temple,” Wei Ying repeated incredulously. “You’re asking me if I confessed at — honestly, a lot went on that day. It was a life and death situation. There was no confessing.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, appalled.

(Wherein Wei Wuxian ends up meeting an alternate version of himself who, much to his horror, never married Lan Wangji. Obviously he has to do something to fix this).

~*~

Hey Mojo i would recommend this fanfic if you already haven’t, it’s called “ take me back to a time “ by DizziDreams. It’s sooooo good

take me back to a time

by DizziDreams (T, 144k, wangxian, 3zun)

Summary:  Wei Ying has a lot on his plate right now.

It’s finals week -- which isn’t so bad. He’s never had to study much to do well in classes. But that just means that things are that much more tense with Jiang Cheng, who, as far as Wei Ying can tell, only takes study breaks long enough to glare at Wei Ying where he sits on the couch playing video games.

It’s not studies that have Wei Ying stressed out. It’s everything else. It’s the recruitment for the research trial he’s coordinating. It’s jiejie and her impending marriage to His Royal Douchebag Jin Zixuan. It’s the volunteer work at the palliative care facility. It’s Wen Ning’s worsening condition. It’s Wen Qing working herself thin to care for her brother and Wen Yuan. It’s the way Wen Yuan never seems to have enough food.

So, yeah. There’s enough on Wei Ying’s plate already, meaning it’s not entirely welcome when he comes home and finds a man standing in his bedroom. A man in extravagant white robes, a ribbon tied around his forehead, long hair gathered into a topknot, fist clutching a sword at his side, who asks him, “Where am I?”

~*~

Idk if this has already been rec’d (I’ve been off the grid for a while now), but there’s this absolutely incredible fic called Restitution by an anon on ao3 people should definitely check out!

this one?

on restitution

by Anonymous (M, 78k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian, lan sizhui & wei wuxian, WIP)

Summary:  When Wei Wuxian regains consciousness, he is in a bed. A real, proper bed, not the slab he called a bed in his cave in the Burial Mounds.

Jiang Cheng is glowering above him.

Wei Wuxian doesn't die during the siege of the Burial Mounds. Rather, he is captured in secret and confined at Lotus Pier. Things change accordingly.

~*~

Hi momjo! I feel like every time I come to your blog there's twenty more new and amazing fics for me to read. Thank you for everything you do for this fandom!  [Thank you, sweetie!  And yes, I think there ARE 20 new fics every day out there in the fandom.  It’s amazing!] Today I come bearing my own rec to you. I've recently read this and it's IMO one of the best fics out there. It's called Lapsteel by carriecmoney and it's a modern stormchaser AU featuring country songs and coming home. ~ @manaika-chan​

Lapsteel

by carriecmoney (T, 42k, wangxian)

Summary:  Now and then, I think about you now and then...

It's been thirteen years since Wei Ying ran for the prairies, leaving behind a family in shambles and a secret on the Pacific wind. What happens when the storm he swirled catches up to him?

Modern AU with country music star Lan Zhan, stormchaser Wei Ying, and shared crossroads.

~*~

#wangxian fic rec #follower recs #wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #follower rec #I HAVEN'T READ THESE YET

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

How would one write a realistic argument?

How to Write a Realistic Argument

Everyone argues.

Whether it be with a friend, sibling, parent, or coworker—arguments usually break out whenever there’s a stark contrast in opinion over certain things, which can happen a lot.

There are a variety of different kinds of arguments involving a wide range of people with different tempers. Because of this, writing arguments can be a bit difficult, but fear not, for this post is here to help!

1. Know The Writing Style of an Argument

For a very serious argument, the characters probably won’t stop and listen to what their opponent has to say.

It’s quick, choppy, and broken—each character shoving their emotions at one another and trying to get their point across without bothering to understand the other side’s opinions.

There should be a lot of em-dashes and italicized words for emphasis, and if it’s between two people, you want as few speech tags as possible; because there’s going to be a lot of back and forth, speech tags can serve to trip up the flow of the argument rather than help them.

When you do want speech tags or if there are multiple people arguing at once here’s some examples you can use:

Roared

Screamed

Yelled

Bellowed

Barked

Hissed

Shouted

Accused

Interrupted

Growled

Snarled

Spat

Screeched

Shrilled

But you also must know that your characters won’t just be standing stock still and yelling at one another; they’re going to be moving around, so here are some things you can describe your character doing during an argument

Expression contorting

Eyes narrowing

Speaking through clenched teeth

Baring their teeth

Lips twisting (into a sneer/into a snarl)

Hands balling into fists

Trembling

Breaking things/knocking stuff over

Pointing accusingly

Shoving

Spittle flying from their mouth

Stamping their feet

Face getting hot

Vein in forehead popping

Blood roaring in their ears/heart pounding

And if you want, to build tension you can put it in a dangerous place, like at the edge of a cliff or something—so you know fully well that if one of them goes too far it may end up with the other’s accidental death.

2.Know Your Characters

The most important factors of your argument are the characters participating in it.

You should have your characters’ tempers established beforehand so you know if they’re going to be hanging back while others argue or if they’re going to be throwing hands every other chapter.

Your characters’ tempers will shape how much tension the argument causes.

An argument with someone who is usually chill and slow to anger will be a whole lot more impactful and important than an argument with someone who is a known hothead, but it wouldn’t make sense if the argument happened over something minor.

Here’s a list of some of the tempers your character can have, ranked from lowest to highest on how much tension an argument with them causes

 (Just so you know, these aren’t rigid categories; most people are usually a mix of everything!):

–Hotheaded Character–

Fights with a hothead hold the least tension. 

Hotheads will fight over anything and everything, their quick fuse making them easy to irritate and anger. Their words can hurt people who aren’t used to it, but usually bounce off of close friends who are used to it and know that the hothead usually doesn’t mean it.

Arguments with hotheads have a high chance of turning physical, because their rage explodes in bursts rather than a slow buildup (the definition of going from zero to one hundred), and in any situation, hotheads are usually the ones to throw the first punch.

 Because a hothead could get riled up about a spilled drink just as quickly as they can get riled up about a friend dying, just having a hothead getting angry during a moment of severe tension won’t bring you the umph that you’re looking for.

However, your hotheaded character can serve as an instrumental character in triggering more serious arguments, one of their mindless snide remarks going too far with a level-headed or shy character.

Examples of hotheaded characters:

Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

Lt. Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky, Top Gun (1986)

Anger, Inside Out (2015)

–Aloof Character–

These characters are a lot like hotheads, but the many, many fights that they pick don’t involve them getting raging, screaming mad.

They’re cold, calculating, and cutthroat, and they couldn’t care less about what you think of them.

Their anger is a lot less “loose cannon” than the hotheads’. They say what they mean and mean what they say, and it’ll take a long time to recover from the tongue-lashings these people can dish out.

The greater tension, however, comes from when the aloof characters raise their voices and start shouting—their schooled, uncaring façade fades away and they’re left truly and undeniably angered by whatever tipped the scales.

It’s not too tension-building because these characters were just bastards to begin with, but it’s still unnerving and shocking to see a normally collected character lose their cool.

Examples of aloof characters:

Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Prince Cardan, The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Alex Stern, The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Sherlock Holmes, Most Media Types

Tony Stark, The Avengers

–Nonchalant Character–

These people usually don’t engage in meaningful arguments because they literally don’t care enough to bother. 

When another character tries to pick a fight, a character who is more nonchalant will sometimes roll their eyes at whatever accusation is being leveled at them rather than retorting. This can go either way, perhaps escalating the tension or diffusing it by not offering up a reply.

Kind of like with the aloof character, they don’t have any emotional attachment arguments that they start or are dragged into. They’ll argue for the sake of arguing, but they really don’t give a fuck about it. 

The part that draws the tension, however, is when the characters do give a fuck. A fight they get into turns heated, and a character’s normal devil-may-care attitude may morph into something else altogether.

Most nonchalant characters also may exhibit some hotheaded tendencies, which shows how muddles these archetypes can be.

Examples of Nonchalant Characters:

Han Solo, The Star Wars Saga

Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)

Angel Dust, The Hazbin Hotel

–Level-headed/Stoic Character–

These characters are the cool cucumbers of the group. They’re very, very, VERY slow to anger, and usually exhibit more maturity than their peers, almost never starting arguments. 

They’re the masters of diffusing arguments with a few words, and hardly ever raise their voices.

Sure, they may serve as backup to someone else and may jump to their aid with a bit of heat behind their words, but this hardly happens when the argument is their own.

Many hotheaded or aloof characters may try teasing or pushing these characters in order to act out, but it rarely works.

On the few instances that a level-headed character is angered, it is pretty serious.

Either one of the other characters poked fun at something they shouldn’t’ve—their dead parents, something they’re self-conscious about, etc.—or a member of the group makes a terrible mistake with dire consequences, and the stoic character has had enough.

This causes a lot of tension because “oh shit, the calmest person in our group just went off” and can usually signal a breakdown of the group because their strongest link is snapping.

Examples of Stoic Characters:

Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher

The Mandalorian, The Mandalorian

Spock, Star Trek

The Doctor, Doctor Who

Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

–Timid/Shy/Quiet Character– 

An argument with a timid person causes by far the most tension out of everything, to the point where I call it “The Snap.”

Someone who is timid, shy, or quiet would rather not argue at all because they don’t have it in them to retort.

They may care a whole lot about the situation under contention, but for one reason or another they don’t want to start too much trouble. These people actively avoid conflict and usually try their best to diffuse situations before they start, whether it be by conceding, walking away, or pulling the nonchalant route and not saying anything.

However, unlike the stoic characters, they might be much more emotional; it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for a timid character to cry when being berated by the others, and they may even be outwardly livid, but they always back down in the end.

 However, they can only hold it in for so long.

 If you have a character who spends the entire book meekly accepting the verbal (or perhaps physical) harassment of other characters, you should most definitely put a “Snap” somewhere in the story, a point where the character has had enough and fights back.

 The timid character’s pent-up rage and sorrow explodes into a raging argument that will most definitely frighten the other characters.

 The tipping point may be the death of the loved one or just a simple, ordinary jab from an antagonist—the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 Unlike with the hothead’s quick bursts of anger like snap fireworks, the anger of a quiet character—much like with a stoic character—is like ten thousand pounds of dynamite with a very, very long fuse.

A quiet character will almost never have a contained argument once they’ve snapped; it will be like a category five hurricane, and God help the poor bastard that set it off.

Examples of timid/shy/quiet characters:

Carrie White, Carrie by Stephen King

Amélie Poulain,  Amélie (2001)

Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein

3. Know The Rhythm of An Argument

An argument isn’t just 0 to 100 and then back to 0. 

The tension levels look more like a squiggly line than a single spike; the tension peaks and ebbs on various levels throughout an argument, especially if it’s a long, important one where both characters are snapping over a novel’s worth of building tension.

The argument can come in like a freight train or it can build up slowly, a character storming in after a realization or a single snide remark that snowballs into something much greater.

Then comes an accusation. Both characters brace themselves and realize that this argument isn’t just going to putter out.

More back and forth words exchanged. “I don’t like that you do this, this and this,” while the characters’ tempers flare even further, pushing them to say more extreme, hurtful things and working each other up into a rage.

A physical fight may break out between the two, throwing punches and insults.

The climax should be a huge, shocking exclamation or accusation. “I hate you!” “If you were never born, Mom would still be alive!” “This is all your fault!”

The tension ebbs. The characters stand in silence, bitter and ashamed of themselves.

They may agree on a few things, their tempers start to die down. They may come to some understandings or storm off with the tension unresolved. The argument ends.

This is the basic format of an argument; however, there are usually several levels of accusation-buildup before the eventual climax.

The whole point of an argument is that it leaves the characters’ relationships much different than they’d been before; they either understand each other much more, or they’ve become much more wary of one another.

If your characters’ relationship doesn’t change after an argument, then there was no point in writing it.

I really hope this helped! Happy Writing!

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writers #writing an argument #writer #help with writing #help for writers

[plan-d-to-i]

The amount of people on my TL who act like LXC would be a viable love interest for WWX, if WWX only got to know him and his "expressive loving" personality. LXC personality is as bland as white bread consistently. Half the fics I see run on the premise that if WWX didn't pester LWJ and instead fell in love with the "warmth" the LXC provides, that's a ship. I'm honestly quite literally done with multi-shipping when it comes to MDZS because either the takes are god awful or (1/2)

(2/2) or shipping is used to bash characters in a subtle manner. I'm so angry about this because what is with everyone hating LWJ? I'm not condoning using shipping as an excuse to hate someone's ship or diverge from canon, but when your takes are OC with a character's name stamped on them, that's when I have an issue because at that point, you're not writing anything that's grounded in the character. You're just projecting T.T Sorry for the rant, I'm just disappointed with the fandom so far :( 2/2

Anon, what's up w your timeline? I only saw one post about it and it was an ask that I'm pretty sure was majorly trolling...lol. Obviously in this fandom people will ship anything. I mean anything. Naturally fic is not canon.

Canonically it makes zero sense. WWX is immediately taken with LWJ. He can easily tell Lan Wangji apart from Lan Xichen. LWJ's taciturn (tsundere) personality IS THE DRAW. WWX revels in the fact that he can rile him up, get a rise out of him. That's a big part of the attraction and of their dynamic; The desire to make buttoned up LWJ lose control and put him in his place ...😉.

Although Lan XiChen looked almost exactly the same as Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian could tell them apart with just a glance. Yet, when he saw the face, he still couldn’t help but noting their similarity, thinking to himself, I wonder what’s happening to my body right now. If the paper body is invaded by resentful energy, would anything happen to the real body as well? Would Lan Zhan notice that something’s wrong?

and

Side by side, Lan XiChen and Lan WangJi walked over.

The two jades of Lan stood together, one wearing the xiao, the other carrying the guqin; one warmly gentle, the other coldly austere. Nevertheless, they were similarly stunning, similarly poised, truly the same color, yet two different airs. No wonder others had always stared and exclaimed with such a sight.

The current Lan WangJi still had some naivety at the edges, but the cold expression that kept everyone at arm’s length was the same. Wei WuXian’s gaze stuck to his face at once, unable to be move away no matter what. Regardless of whether or not he could hear it, Wei WuXian shouted happily, “Lan Zhan! I miss you so much! Hahahahahahaha!”

I wouldn't go shitting on LXC's personality tho. He's a kind patient person, and he does have a sense of humor and a hint of impishness but that's not WWX's person. He doesn't want to be WWX's person. He wants WWX to make LWJ happy. Stop pitting two bad bitches against each other fandom (⇀_⇀). Also if you see fic tagged w this ship obviously, don't read it.

#mdzs #answers #Wei Wuxian #Lan Xichen #Lan WAngji