#poor lance

[bleh1bleh2]

"Go get your own peanuts!"

"WE'RE IN SPACE!!"

Keiths belt pouches 1/2

#i think keiths belt pouches should be like batmans utility belt #they have whatever the situation needs #OR whatever is funny To Me #voltron #klance #keiths belt pouches #'go get your own peanuts' -> lance #'here you can have some' -> literally everyone else #poor lance #my art #edit: please let me know if the ID is weird and ill fix it

[autisticlancemcclain]

pt one

———

Hunk’s phone rings. Loudly. Since he is the pinnacle of grace and benevolence, he spares one hand, eyes still trained firmly on the other hand pressing a screwdriver onto a delicate wire joint to hold it steady, to blindly pat about on his workbench until it closes around the device. He jabs a finger on the screen until the ringing ceases.

“Yah,” he says, not bothering with hellos. He’s busy.

“Handle your person,” Shiro hisses, then immediately hangs up.

Hunk snorts. Someone’s nap was disturbed.

He turns back to his project, sighing as he wraps it up. He doesn’t have long. If he can just solder this last wire, get that last connection in, it’ll be way easier to —

Lance kicks open his door, walking in screaming.

“Hello,” Hunk greets idly. And largely sarcastically, he will admit. Lance continues his wordless yell, vocalizing at the very top of his lungs, muffled only when he throws himself on Hunk’s bed and buries himself in Hunk’s pillow. “Shiro tells me you’re terrorizing people.”

“His skull is fucking solid!” Lance screeches.

Hunk does not need to ask to whom Lance is referring. He does, however, pause what he’s doing immediately, spinning around slowly in his chair with his fingertips pressed together like every eighties cartoon villain. His smile can only really be described as gleeful. Perhaps diabolical if he stretches.

He is entirely unapologetic.

“And what happened this time,” Hunk questions, adopting his very best therapy voice. It must work, because Lance shoots up, face bright candy red, wicked snarl pulling on his lips. When he speaks again his voice is carefully controlled and dripping with rage.

“It is beyond hinting, Kealoha. I have practically laid myself at his feet and begged him to ravish me, and he still does not get it. I am going to fucking wring his neck.”

Hunk hums thoughtfully. “Well, that is probably what it’s going to take.” At Lance’s raised eyebrow, he rushes to clarify — “Throwing yourself at his feet, I mean. Don’t strangle him. At least not before I can see it.”

Lance groans loudly. This time when he flops back on Hunk’s mattress he is more miserable than rageful, like a scolded chihuahua. Hunk considers telling him that and then remembers that he’s quite fond of his limbs where they are.

“I know he likes me,” Lance grumbles. “He’s just a dumbass. Like, yesterday he had to go into a healing pod because I did those leg stretches in front of him and he walked into the wall and broke his nose. And last week he said I smelled good and no straight people say stupid shit like that. And when I flirted with that princess on our last mission I was lowkey worried he was gonna jump her, or something. He went all big bad Galra growly and everything.”

Hunk inclines his head. “This is true.”

It is true. Well, he didn’t know the broken nose thing — although that’s hilarious and he will be sharing that information with the class when prudent — and he hasn’t witnessed many of the specific brands of Keith and Lance dumbassery, since they spend so much time on their own, but he, like, has eyes. Keith wants Lance so bad it’s actually embarrassing. Hunk’s not one to generally agree with Lance, since it’s his God-given right to humble him at any opportunity, but that boy is oblivious unlike any other. He understands that Keith is emotionally stunted due to the ordeal of being orphaned, and to Keith he leaves his highest sympathies, but also Jesus Christ, dude. How many times are you going to be wrought with jealousy before you go oh, duh, I might be in love with this goober.

Maybe Shiro hasn’t had the talk with him yet. Hunk makes a mental note to follow up.

“—it’s just that I don’t understand,” Lance laments.

Hunk blinks back to the conversation, where Lance has clearly taken it upon himself to wax poetic and inspire woe upon himself once more.

Hunk stills. An idea wiggles its delightful little way through his brain. He holds up his phone, pointed at Lance’s prone and desolate form.

God, he loves his brain. He loves meddling. He loves love and life, basically.

“I just,” Lance sighs, and to his endless credit he sounds genuinely torn-up, for all his melodrama. “I wish I could just tell him, I guess. In some way. I wish I could get it through his fool head that he is loved by me particularly in such a way that I want to hold hands and kiss and generally be nuisances of the affectionate kind. You know, romance.”

Hunk hums with great understanding. “I see. And say you were not plagued with chronic anxiety and an unfortunate tendency to glow in your face region if someone so much as insinuates in any capacity that they care about you — what would you say to this paramour of yours?”

Lance tilts his head consideringly. His eyes are big and brown and pouty, like a scorned puppy. It’s adorable, in a pathetic kind of way. Hunk cannot help but pat him delicately on the knee.

“I suppose,” he huffs, “that I would just say it outright. Keith Kogane, you magnanimous dumbass, would it kill you to ask me out like a man. Something like that.”

“You could also ask him out like a man,” Hunk points out.

“Choke and die,” Lance responds, predictably. Hunk pays him again.

Hunk stops the recording and tucks his phone back in his pocket. He will decide how to handle the situation shortly.

…After he makes several copies and distributes them to the team. Obviously. Hunk’s excellent advice and matchmaking skills isn’t free, after all.

Lance whines again. “Why is my life so sick and twisted.”

Hunk chooses against reminding Lance that they are in the very beginning of the process of dismantling the worst tyranny the universe has ever seen, and of all the things in his life to be sick and twisted his dweeby romance is probably not one of them. Because that would be a huge buzzkill, obviously. Instead he delicately and a touch condescendingly pats Lance on the head. Lance leans into the touch, because he is a massive sweetheart and dork and nerd, and Hunk can’t help but smile widely.

“All will work out,” he says ominously. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Blah,” Lance says.

Hunk smiles wider.

#i just love hunk so much can u tell #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #hunk #hunk garrett #hunk & lance #keith kogane #klance #pre klance #oblivious keith #scheming hunk #hunk is so done #hunk is a sweetheart #lance is suffering #poor lance #keith #fluff and humour #my writing #longpost #fic #brown eyed lance

[winterlogysblog]

MY BABY LOOKS SO SAD 😭😭😭

My guy atleast went home. But he didn't even spare a look at his momma... Goddamn... Depression be kicking him rn

#manga spoilers #spoilers #my baby boy #poor lance #nakaba why all the angst #Lancelot #Ban #four knights of the apocalypse #4kota #nanatsu no taizai #nnt #seven deadly sins #seven deadly sins sequel #mokushiroku no yon kishi #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nanatsu no taizai mokushiroku no yonkishi

[f1-disaster-bi]

pando and laughter :)

Pando my loves ❤️

"What are you wearing?"

Pierre had to bite his lip to stop himself doubling over in laughter as he looked at Lando.

His boyfriend was standing in the hallway of their apartment and he looked absolutely miserable. There was a mortified flush to his cheeks that had Pierde wanting to tease him and cut his face but he couldn't take his eyes off of the truly hideous outfit his love was wearing.

"Shut up", Lando mumbled, embarrassment clear as he fiddled with his bracelets as he dropped his bag on the ground.

"Is your outfit able to shut up? Because my love, those colours are louder than Daniel", Pierre started to laugh softly despite the death glare he received, "How did you end up like this? I thought you were just playing paddle with Charles, Mick and Lance?"

"We made a bet", Lando grumbled, crossing his arms over the hideously vibrant shirt that was a little too tight on Lando’s shoulders and arms, "I lost. You think this is bad? You should see Lance. Charles's jeans only made it to the elvator before Lance's butt was too strong for them. I think Charles even cried a little"

It was that comment that set Pierre off. He couldn't hold in his laughter any more at the thought of Lance, who was taller and broader than Charles in nearly every way, ripping his pants with the power of his ass and Charles being highly offended by the death of his jeans.

Puerre had to steady himself on the wall with one hand but then he glanced up through his laughter at Lando and he was nearly tumbling towards the floor. The hideous patchwork jeans with with bright hot pinks, blues and greens was enough to have him choking on his laughter as tears rolled down his face.

Lando, ever the good boyfriend, cursed at him before he too, joined Pierre on the floor. The two of the gasping for air and laughing at the ridiculousness if it all as Lando showed him a picture Mick had grabbed of Lance looking embarrassed with his colourful boxers peeking out of the giant rip in the ass of Charles's jeans.

"Fucking breath, you idiot", Lando giggled as he thumped Pierre on the back as the other choked on his laughter.

It faded eventually. Laughter turning to giggles as Lando wiped their tears off on the hideously green and red shirt Charles had given him to wear until they were slumped together on the floor.

"I love you", Pierre chuckled, pressing a kiss to Lando’s temple, "Even if you're dressed like this"

That comment earned him a slap on the chest and attempted nipple twist before they were both laughing again.

Send me one word + a pairing and I’ll write a little something.

#pando #pierre/lando #lando/pierre #poor lance #rip Charles's pants #lance #lando #mick #charles #pierre

[hotmessmaxpress]

HAHAHAHA “can you bring it back”

“No I hit the fucking wall”

#poor Lance #I love it when he’s cunty #ls18

[iciatheguardess]

*puts it down*

come on open it!

*runs away*

.... *Icia draws her sword* If this is a bear or something...

*She opens the box and sees Lance. Her expression is full of fear, before softening to pity and second hand embarrassment.* ... oh dear.... *she uses the sword to cut his ropes free, and it slices as if there's nothing there .... are you okay?

#iceanswers #poor lance #frozenblade

[lxndonorris]

If I had to go through that ceremony circus I would just die from cringe so I could never fault any driver for hating it

#Especially not my introvert boys #Poor lance #Max #And Carlos

[weaponimagination]

So I've had au idea on how Lance got corrupted by Negativity

Wonderworld has foresight and made Balan already, even though Lance wasn't the negati king yet.

The both of them were doing the normal thing, helping a visitor repair their heart. But this particular one was extremely difficult and powerful, Balan was no were near strong enough to help Lance with them at this point.

He basically yeets him back to the theater barring him from returning to this particular stage temporarily. Already knowing what could happen, Lance succeeds in piecing their heart back together.

But the damage was already done.

He had overextended his powers leaving the negativity swirling around him and the visitor. He couldn't send it to the other dimension. In a last ditch effort to save the visitor from it harming them, he threw himself in front of them taking the full blow of the negativity.

At first he thought things were still fine, but over time his negative markings grew worse until he was fully corrupted.

#balan wonderworld #balan wonderworld lance #bww #theory #poor lance

[inthememetime]

I HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE THIS CUZ I THINK ITS SO FUNNY HELP

When he said this I genuinely got so scared I was gonna get Danny in trouble before I remembered that he is not real😭😭😭😭

I was legit like "He's gonna tell his parents NO🤯🤯🤯"

I'm so stupid KWSNEIEBWIEN💀💀💀😭😭😭😭 anyways yeah idk <3333

I AM CACKLING OVER HERE I FEEL U

AT THIS POINT ILL JUST WAIT a week & write a fic about this, probably from Lance's pov. We'll see

#unreality #inthememetime #bruh (gn) i am dying this is hilarious #poor lance #man just needs a hug and a vacay #somewhere besides amity park

[cadrenebula]

What (if any) present did Lancefer get for the Starlight Celebration? Did Tara try to encourage him into a hobby with a thoughtful gift? Or did everyone give in and give him something knight-related, like a whetstone or armour polish? Or was there a compromise, with a purchase of some Halonic Homilies or a gilded prayerbook?

More like Tara and her twin, Theo, jointly kindly bullied Lance with the gift of a helmet. It's a very well made helmet, shaped with his head specifically in mind and with slits down the sides for his ears. Why? Because he's already taken two rather serious head injuries over the past few years. One of those head injuries cost him two years of memories. So now they are kindly bullying him into wearing a helmet for his own safety. Since he has a habit of wearing a metal circlet and not a helmet. And the twins are not above using Jas, Ava, or Evelyn as leverage to get their uncle to wear said helmet. Or even get Kyna and Lothaire in on the guilting party.

Theo also gave Lance an embroidery pattern, floss and needles. The pattern is the one that says 'This is Proof that I have the Patience to Stab Something 10,000 times.' This was definitely in an attempt to make him take up a hobby in his free time.

Tara gave him a new whetstone, polishing clothes and oil for his sword and armor.

Stefan gave Lance a few books. Hoping maybe his cousin would learn to relax and read as a hobby. They're mostly heroic knight romance books since he felt that was more Lance's type of story. He thought this was only fair since Lance kept trying to pressure him into learning how to fight. Pressure his cousin into reading seemed mild enough.

Destiney gave him a locket with a picture of Loth on one side and Kyna on the other. (Naturally she gave Loth a matching one but it only has a picture of Lance in it.)

Aunt Elle gave him a new warm scarf. Long enough for him to let Owlvael get snuggly on his shoulder.

Thanks for the ask @mimble-sparklepudding

#Asks #thanks for the ask! #Really do appreciate them even if I'm slow at answering #About Lancefer #Poor Lance #Either lovingly bullied to get a hobby #Or lovingly bullied to wear a helmet

[ashkazora]

vld au and it's community's paintball war- entire coalition is involved. The first year Lance the sharpshooter smokes them all in like an hour and gets himself permanently banned but things dont get That™ bad. But in the second year all he can do is watch in horror as everything descends into apocalyptic level chaos

Lance is a strong force, strong enough to completely nerf anyone in paintball. This talent was honed simply to stop chaos from breaking out in the universe. Without him as an equalising force, well-

Let's just say, the other four Paladins have years worth of trauma they've buried for the sake of the universe. And now they're about to make it everyone's problem.

Lance can only sit back and cry.

#poor lance #all he wanted to do was win again :( #ask #anon #vld #voltron

[everybodyisasebfan]

can you imagine your daddy buys you a f1 team and then you get alonso as team mate 💀

#poor lance #aston martin #f1

[grace-of-flash]

Idk if I actually believe that Jericho is Star-visor, I think it’s likely, but I just want her to come back to us 😭😭

Not ready at all for the mental stress if she is tho

#poor Lance

[lindyloosims]

Sorry Lance but Shawnie’s a little busy right now!

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #Shawn and Lance #bad brother #he's busy with Vlad #you understand #don't you? #probably not #poor Lance

[manicpixiedreamsaren]

i think lawrence might hate lance

#this was so mean on his part #like going from friendly fatherly seb to angry spiteful bitchy spanish grandpa is interesting #he rlly said fuck them kids #poor lance #fernando is going to chew him up and spit him out #maybe lawrence and nando r like secret lovers or something bc thats the only rational explanation for fernando moving to am #aston martin #amf1 #aston martin aramco cognizant f1 team #lance stroll #lance strulovich #lance stroll 18 #ls18 #fernando alonso #fernando alonso 14 #fa14 #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #f1blr #formula tumblr #formula 1 tumblr #big yikes #rip lance

[robboocon]

Us Aston Martin fans rlly can't catch a break can we

#It was going so well #Poor lance #Aston Martin #F1 #Miami gp