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jackhues · 1 year

Text

ferrari?! - charles leclerc

request: hii I loved your wolff!reader x charles ig concept could you please write more of them<33

requested by: anon : )

notes: trying out some new things, hope you guys like it, and pls don't be silent readers!! thanks for requesting <3

join my f1 taglist!

part one

pictures are not mine!

y/nwolff

liked by scuderiaferrari, lucawolff, pierregasly & others

y/nwolff - charles has got dad's approval, ferrari on the other hand... also, luca's a pain, i don't recommend having older brothers. check out the full video on my youtube! tagged lucawolff

pierregasly: did you guys take him on vacation to tell him?? -> y/nwolff: we needed him to be a little bit happy. i had no idea how he was going to react

lucawolff: older brothers are goated -> y/nwolff: i'd like to return mine

y/nisqueen: the pinky promise 🥺 liked by y/nwolff

charles_leclerc: so am i allowed to be in his vision or will he destroy me on sight?? -> y/nwolff: you can be in his vision lmaoo -> charles_leclerc: really? -> lucawolff: don't listen to her, she's lying -> y/nwolff: go away luca! but just to be on the safe side charlie, you should probably be near me so that his (nonexistent) anger dies down -> charles_leclerc: this isn't boosting my confidence -> userone: charlie 🥺🥺

usertwo: this is the toto content we signed up for!

userthree: luca and y/n are the best siblings on this app, love them!!

userfour: bestie, when's the new music coming?? liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: we'll see 🤭

conangray: why is this the funniest thing i've ever seen?? liked by y/nwolff -> oliviarodrigo: it's true, he hasn't stopped laughing for twenty minutes

f1newsandmore

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree & others

f1newsandmore: Toto Wolff and Charles Leclerc spotted before the race. After the video of Toto reacting to his daughter, Y/N Wolff, dating Charles Leclerc, we're all dying to know just exactly what this conversation was about. tagged charles_leclerc, y/nwolff

userone: toto explaining to charles that he's not good enough for y/n while he's with ferrari -> usertwo: and charles zoning out the second he heard y/n's name liked by charles_leclerc

userthree: i'm so invested in this entire thing -> userfour: aren't we all??

y/nwolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, oliviarodrigo & others

y/nwolff: dad, i promise i'm still a mercedes girl 📷 : charles_leclerc 🤍

lucawolff: says she's a mercedes girl, tags a ferrari boy -> y/nwolff: if you took the pictures like i asked, you'd get the creds

charles_leclerc: the ferrari bracelet is saying otherwise -> y/nwolff: charles!! shh!! -> userone: LMAO! y/n's fighting for her life and charles out here exposing her

lewishamilton: mercedes >> ferrari -> y/nwolff: LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK!

landonorris: mclaren >>> -> y/nwolff: boo 👎👎

y/nisqueen: YOU LOOK STUNNING! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: mwah 🥰

y/nwolff has posted on their story!

caption: 🤍

charles_leclerc

liked by lucawolff, conangrey, pierregasly & others

charles_leclerc: date night! (with toto's approval) tagged y/nwolff

y/nwolff: can't believe you didn't post the vid of me throwing you in the water -> charles_leclerc: i need to at least try and look cool on social media love -> userone: no one cares if you look cool! we wanna see the vid! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: don't worry, i gotchu -> charles_leclerc: i'm concerned -> lucawolff: no one told you to vote yes when she asked if she should make a yt channel -> charles_leclerc: y/n literally told me to -> lucawolff: this is where being a simp gets you -> y/nwolff: get out of my bf's comments or i'll post the vids from your last bday party -> userone: I LOVE THIS!

lucawolff: is no one gonna ask for my approval??! -> y/nwolff: no -> lucawolff: rude -> charles_leclerc: you literally covered for us for months, the approval had been given -> lucawolff: oh yeah -> usertwo: lmaoo luca tryna start shit but it didn't work!

userthree: time to pack my bags and sleep on the highway

userfour: they're so cute!

userfive: god, when will it be my turn?? 😭😭

part one

2K notes · View notes

whyse7vn · 9 months

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LOVE OCTAGON? -

[ ot7 x reader ]

YOUNG FOREVER

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: just did 8 push ups i’ll smack the shit out of anybody rn

jin: if you were a girl i’d be into that

jk: pls don’t hit me

tae: thought he liked men

jimin: could of fooled me

jin: ??????

namjoon: glad to see ur working out again hobi

hobi: what’s that supposed to mean??

namjoon: i’m glad to see you working out again?

y/n: can i watch?

jk: i want you so bad omg

y/n: ??

jk: sorry i was hacked

yoongi: did one of you order food to my house?

jk: no i wasn’t

tae: MY BURGER IS AT YOUR HOUSE???

OH MY GOD I THOUGH I WAS SCAMMED I WAS SO UPSET

jimin: eat it yoongi

tae: DON’T

pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

send it back to me pls i’m begging

i’m literally starving

and shaking

jin: i think you should give it back to him yoongi could be his first meal in months

hobi: real

yoongi: threw it away

tae: WHAT IS UR ISSUE??????

yoongi: you

hobi: namjoon do you want to fight?

jk: do you want me back?

jimin: shut up

tae: don’t expect to hear from me ever again bitch

yoongi: oh nooooo

namjoon: fight??

y/n: can i watch?

jin: this is stressing me out

someone give me a fun fact to calm me down

namjoon: um

hobi: xikers are the first 5th gen group

tae: that sounds like a disease

jimin: thought we would never hear from you again

yoongi: good things never last

jin: 5TH GEN??????

ARE YOU SILLY

THATS A THING??

THAT FACT DID NOT CALM ME DOWN AT ALL

jimin: ofc tae’s talking about diseases again

tae: am i wrong tho??

omg i got xikers rn

i’m itching soooo badddfd

pls i need to go to hospital the xikers on my back are killing me

namjoon: stop talking

tae: i’m not wrong

jk: are you ok tae?

what is xikers

it sounds bad

tae: i’m dying

pls remember me

jk: WHAT 😨

i will bro 🥺

y/n: he’s lying to you

jk: i’m not i swear i’ll remember you forever and ever

y/n: tae is lying to YOU

stupid

jk: oh

wtf man :/

tae: you never let me have fun

hobi: i want to be 5th gen

jk: but we said we were 4th gen??

namjoon: we are 3rd gen.

yoongi: let’s not do this again

tae: ME FOR 5TH GEN IT BOY

jimin: jimin 5th gen ace

jin: although i’m in shock and disbelief rn i’ll still take on the role of 5th gen it boy

tae: ?????

tf is wrong with you

can you read

i said i’m 5th gen it boy?

let’s vote

come on guys 🤗

yoongi: i vote jin

y/n: jin

jk: ME 3

jimin: ig jin

hobi: jin4thewin

namjoon: jin?

jin: i also vote for jin

tae: burn in hell

jk: y/n 5th gen it girl?

y/n: but i was 4th gen it girl last time

jk: ur right let’s swap

y/n: best 5th gen rapper

it’s an honour really

jk: i will use my 5th gen it girl title to help better the world

hobi: 5th GEN VISUAL HOSEOK

yoongi can take the best 5th gen singer title

yoongi: k

y/n: namjoon best 5th gen dancer?

jk: i agree

namjoon: ??

jin: idk about you but i love my new title

tae: i bet you do

jin: you sound mad

namjoon: again?

tae: i’m not

namjoon: you can take mine if you really want

i don’t care for you guy’s silly little game

jk: THIS IS NO GAME JOON

THIS IS OUR REAL LIFE

hobi: RIGHT

tae: KEEP UR NASTY TITLE I DONT WANT UR PITY FUCK YOU FUVK YOU FUCK YOU

jin: yikes

yoongi: all this shouting for what?

y/n: wow

namjoon: fine

jimin: why did jungkook go live naked

y/n: proof lmao?

jin: right put me off my salad fr

jimin: you were eating a salad?

jin: yeah?

jimin: ok

jin: tf you mean ok???

do you want to fight?

jimin: i’m just surprised that’s all

jin: why??????

jimin: cuz yk…

jin: no i DON’T know

pls enlighten me bitch

jk: i wasn’t naked??

jimin: yes you were

jin: HELLO???

YK WHAT?

jk: i swear i wasn’t

y/n: proof???????

jk: you want to see me naked 🤭??

i’m blushing rn

tae: i was naked once

hobi: this isn’t about you

y/n: tae sent me nudes by email once

hobi: ok this is about you

jk: WHAT????)/£/

jin: by email?

tae: omg why would you tell themmmm

jimin: why would you ever want nudes from that?

tae: that????

y/n: i never asked for them

who do you think i am??

tae: what does that mean??

namjoon: you can literally get arrested for that

tae: kinky

but i did send them on accident

so i’m sure the police would understand

jin: i do not believe that at all

and by email??

how is that an accident

yoongi: right

tae: plus i did look super hot right y/n?

y/n: that not the point

tae: see how she didn’t say no

jk: SAY NO

hobi: send the nudes here i say!

jin: DO NOT

jk: say no before i shoot myself in the head

jimin: wow

namjoon: it doesn’t matter if she thought you looked good or not you can’t go round sending ur nudes to people with without warning

tae: says who?

namjoon: the fucking law?

are you okay?? like that’s common sense

wtf is wrong with you

hobi: joons getting mad oh my god >.<

yoongi: thought we established he has no common sense

tae: i knew telepathically that she needed to receive nudes from me in order to keep living

jin: so you didn’t send them by accident then

tae: accident on purpose it’s all the same thing tbh

y/n: to keep living??

jimin: they are polar opposites actually

tae: omg all of u on my dick rn

don’t be mad i stepped up and you didn’t

jk: i was goONA STEP UP

ITVWAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME

I HATE YOU

IM GOING TO KILL YOU

hobi: jk’s mad this is scary >.<

jin: witnessing the fall the taekook in real time

wow this is truly beautiful

tae: omg chill out??

it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before

jimin: and is that by choice?

jk: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

hobi: wait what?

namjoon: everyone shut the fuck up

jin: look now you made joon fr mad

hobi: sorry namjoon >.<

tae: it wasn’t even my fault

y/n: i’m the victim here don’t be mad at me

jk: DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JOON

yoongi: i’m tired

jimin: this is a lot to take in

namjoon: taehyung apologise

tae: FOR WHAT?????????

hobi: ur sick in the head

namjoon: now

tae: sorry??????

jk: nasty bitch

tae: y/n let’s tell them about us

jk: what

yoongi: 🤨

y/n: us?

tae: ummmmmmm lol?

she’s normally not like this i swear

she likes me honestly

stop embarrassing in front of the guys babe

y/n: blocking you

tae: are u using me for my body???

i sent you nudes TWICE

hobi: one in a million we are twice 🩷💖

tae: you said i was hot

are we not in love?

yoongi: lol

jk: YOU SENT HER NUDES TWICE???????

OH MY GODDDDSJEJ SOMEONE PLs PULL THE TRIGGER FOR ME IM TOO WEAK TO DO THIS ANYMOREEEENBE

jimin: so like did she ask for the nudes the first time?

y/n: SHUT UP???

jimin: OH MY GODFF YIU TOTALY DID

THE PLOT THICKENS

y/n: namjoon tell them to stop taking

namjoon: stop talking

hobi: wait…

is this the fwb you’ve been talking about for weeks

tae: STOP SPEAKING

jin: wooow ur really sad

jk: OhH MY GODDDD ANd I CONGRATULATED YOU SND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDHDXUD KILL MEMEME KILL MEMEEEE

y/n: fwb?

we have not fucked

jk: oh thajnk god

yoongi: have you kissed?

hobi: yoongi’s jealous >.<

yoongi: just asking

tae: i don’t want to talk about this anymore

jimin: look he’s embarrassed

they totally have not kissed

tae: bottom lie is that she said i was hot

jk: SHE WANTEF TO SEE ME NAKED BEFORE SO UR NOT SPECIAL

DONT LET IT GET TO UR HEAD

BITCH

namjoon: calm down jungkook

jk: HES A LITTLE SNAKE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN NEVER EVER EVER

I LIKED HER FIRST

yoongi: no you didn’t?

jin: is this a love triangle?

hobi: classic case of a love square

jimin: love square?

y/n: no one is in love

tae: my life is over

y/n: get a grip

jimin: i’m feeling left out put me in the square

hobi: it wouldn’t be a square then

jimin: love pentagon?

jin: make it a hexagon

hobi: wait wtf and me

love heptagon so cute 💞

what about you namjoon?

namjoon: what about me?

jimin: do you want to fuck y/n yes or no?

y/n: oh my god????

jk: YOU BETTER SAY NO

SAY NO

ILL KILL YOU

namjoon: i’m not answering that

jk: GOOD

WAIT WTF ARE YOU TRYING TI SAY YOU DON’T THINK SHES HOT???

WTF IS WRONG WITH yOU???

SHE IS NOT UGLY

namjoon: i never said that

jimin: i’m taking that as a yes

hobi: love octagon 🩷

y/n: what happened to talking about our 5th gen life 🙁

jk: i love 5th gen

hobi: what is with the gc name?

jimin: it’s for jin’s mental health

jin: ur actually decreasing my mental health by taking about 5th gen

jimin: are newjeans 5th gen?

jin: okay so just fuck me then?

yoongi: idk

hobi: I LOVE NEWJEANS

oHUr my OHUR MY GODTT

jin: i don’t listen minors sing

it’s bad for the economy

jimin: just say they make you feel old as shit

jk: i don’t listen to other women sing

y/n: ???

jk: i mean i love when other women sing

i actually only listen to girl groups

tae: he’s lying

because that’s actually me

y/n: shut the fuck up both of you

yoongi: real

y/n: and you

yoongi: ??????????????????????

jimin: LMAO

HE DIDN’T EXPECT THAT

jin: GOTTT HIKMMMMM LMAOSOSOSOIDKEKEKDKDKDK

hobi: i love feminism ❤️

y/n: it’s nice not arguing

namjoon: i’ve been telling you all

jimin: true!!!

hobi: you argue the most

jimin: me???

hobi: yes you

you and jin literally argued 10 seconds ago

jin: don’t put us in the same sentence like that i’m getting uncomfortable

namjoon: the fact that they actually shut the fuck up

what have i been doing wrong

jimin: maybe cuz you don’t have a pussy idk

namjoon: did you have to be so vulgar?

y/n: vulgar?

what are you 65??

hobi: pussy is power

NOT vulgar

jin: vulgar is such a nasty word like ew vulgar

namjoon: i’m leaving

jin: praise god

namjoon left “young forever”

tae: i love pussy btw

jimin left “young forever”

hobi left “young forever”

y/n left “young forever”

yoongi left “young forever”

jk: personally i think you’re so brave for saying that

—

and taekook lived!!

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ultimateshixiongfuckertournament · 2 months

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Noncanonicals Tournament FINAL

This final is between Han Ying from Word of Honor (shizun/mentor: Zhou Zishu) and Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook (shizun/mentor: Li Xiangyi / Li Lianhua)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Han Ying:

He idolized and was mentored by Zhou Zishu to the point of recruiting other young martial artists to revive ZZS’s dying sect and willing to die live happily ever after for it.

#han ying wants to fuck zhou zishu SO BAD#han ying#shizunfucker tournament

#my sweet ying'er wants to fuck zzs so bad he's gagging for it

#HAN YING HANDS DOWN#would have licked his boots if he asked

#han ying wanted nothing more than to officially become zzs's student/part of his sect#it was literally his dying wish that his brothers in arms may get to do that#he says several times in the show to zzs's very face that he's 100% down for dying for him#he swears allegiance EXCLUSIVELY to zzs and not the prince they're all serving#he comes up with bangers like 'if there is anything you need I will lay down my life with no regret'#'if you were gone one day how could I live alone'#'a loyal servant wouldn't have two masters in his life'#he sneaks into zzs's abandoned residence and homoerotically-#-strokes the painting of a flower that symbolizes a) zzs himself b) zzs's grief for being the lone survivor of his sect#and he wanted to join siji so so badly#it was his life's dream and he died IN siji but before getting to have that 😭#listen he makes me insane#anyway they should have fucked sloppy style and zzs would have had an out of body experience if hy called him shizun#my final thesis goodbye

#it's HAN YING#you could power entire nations with the power of that yearning

#han ying saw zhou zishu and IMMEDIATELY dropped to his knees are you joking#wen kexing immediately clocked him

#ying'er my sweet prince#he wants the dick so badly

Fang Duobing:

Fang Duobing has most definitely had several fantasies of being dommed by his shifu Li Xiangyi! He is also equally invested in marrying Li Lianhua - travelling the jianghu, going on rooftop moonlit dates, incorporating looking after him forever and ever into his general future plans. This is even before he knows that Li Lianhua and Li Xiangyi are the same person. Oh there are Layers to the shizunfucking. Where's that post about being so devoted to someone that it breaks the pedestal they're put on and comes full circle to loving them for the person they are? (its here: https://www.tumblr.com/difeisheng/733133489565745152/the-core-of-fanghua-is-built-around-fang-duobings) When they finally do get to know each other 10 years later, after Li Xiangyi's identity is found out, Fang Duobing insists on being equals rather than master-and-disciple! Li lianhua is Fang Duobing’s guide in the Jianghu! He leaves his house, dog and the only records of his unique martial arts to Fang Duobing before running away!! Fang Duobing’s most important agenda is to save Li Lianhua from slow death by poison!!! He doesn't care if Li Lianhua keeps leaving him behind and lying to him and is 'at peace' with dying!! They live together. They'll never be equals. They've been equals all along. They're zhiji. They're master and disciple. they're married. They're everything.

#this man wanted to fuck his shizun under two whole ass different identities#this man was given one million choices between his shizun and his entire cushy rich boi life and did not sweat the decision even once#this man was engaged to a princess - who was COOL - and went “no thanks i’d rather follow shizun around in a fantasy china airstream’

#this cannot not be fang duobing let's be serious#polls#he's been drawing hearts around his shizun's name since age 8

#Fang Duobing going through it for what he thinks is two different people but is just one guy#so he gets my vote easy

#pls he is head employee at shizunfucker.co

#han ying #fang duobing #word of honor #mysterious lotus casebook #zhou zishu #li lianhua #li xiangyi

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the-thorster · 1 year

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Wanna start a little March Madness-style poll game!

Round 1: I'll post 2 polls with 20 vines to choose from (10 each) – out of my personal favorites. Don't come crying if your faves are not in there. Make your own post!

Round 2: Choose from the top 10 (top 5 of each post).

Round 3: Choose from the top 5 of Round 2.

Round 4: Choose from the top 3 of Round 3.

Round 5: Choose from the top 2 of Round 4. Which of my favorite vines is gonna be the most iconic?

– – –

A little helper if you don't know one of the options:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

– – –

For statistics reasons, pls reblog after voting! <3

#poll #polls #march madness poll game #vine #vine poll

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audhd-nightwing · 4 months

Text

percy jackson ep3 live reaction

yesss the attic it looks perfect

the voice crack on “hi” i’m cackling

“oh geez” HES SO PERCY

annabeth immediately i love him.

percy’s gf requirements: has to be willing to push him down a flight of stairs without hesitation

let percy understand the horses PLEASE

“i chose you” i thought it was gonna be like ‘because you’re my best friend’ but nah he is just suspicious of grover dang. “i trust you” DAMN HE REALLY LYING HUH. poor grover totally believes him too. good thing he earns his trust back eventually and remains his best friend forever

“i’m gonna pack the best snacks” HE IS THE BEST KIND OF FRIEND

why tf are there lobster traps in the cabin. WHERE IS HIS BED???

“i think they’re canadian maybe? or from chuck e. cheese i dunno” he’s literally my favorite person ever

“these are… interesting”

thalia’s tree :(

when do they tell percy that grover was thalias protector 🤔

“the most powerful being in the universe’s best idea to save his daughter’s life… was to turn her into a tree?” YEAH FR GET HIS ASS PERCY

bro really does not know how to read the room 💀 “she met a pinecone’s fate” dude she is talking about her dead friend/sister-figure. grover’s literally like “wtf man”

how tf did they get a taxi from long island to the city bro

“i’m sorry to hear that” UR THE BEST ANNABETH

why is grover singing… THEATRE KID ENERGY

“our voting system’s broken” hgjfhdhd

BIG OOF ????

the autism makes decisions so hard very real

NOT THE TOSTITOS /j

“they smell fear” “that’s bees” EXCUSE ME? BEES WHAT NOW??

damn dodds that’s brutal

“perhaps the most formidable demigod child alive” i adore how they make 12 y/o annabeth so fucking powerful. like i really really love that they do that cuz ppl always talk about how powerful percy is but not how powerful annabeth is

defeated by shitty evacuation skills smh

…we’re lost in the woods, somewhere in new jersey

“i didn’t even know they had forests in new jersey” king. what.

ahhh i wish they just made them 13 i really cannot see them as 12 year olds

ope it is revealed. GROVER STOP TRYING TO REDIRECT THE CONVERSATION ITS NOT WORKING

annabeth IMMEDIATELY knows it’s medusa lol

thinking abt how sally used medusa’s story to teach lil percy that appearances aren’t everything and “not everything that looks like a monster is a monster”. very interested to see what they do with her in this version of pjo

“and i definitely trust my mom” percy is such a momma’s boy i love it

i hope they don’t make her evil pls pls pls. SHES NOT EVIL SHES AN SA VICTIM. “a survivor” :(

“the gift the gods gave me is i cannot be bullied anymore” yes 🙌

girl really said “it’s not a gift it’s a curse” as if she was there 💀 ilysm but clearly the story you’ve heard isn’t what really happened

“so did i” :( she was a worshipper of athena

“i wasn’t like you, i was you”

ANNABETH “that isn’t what happened” GIRL YOU WERENT THERREEEEE

you tell them medusa !! her and percy get matching “i hate poseidon” shirts

team #trust issues

oop. yeah fuck poseidon.

okay yeah i really like this characterization of her. like a good person with a skewed moral compass. or at least good intentions but not great actions

leetle snakes hiss hiss

annabeth watching percy defeat alecto… she literally has heart eyes hehe

THEY BETTER SHIP HER HEAD TO OLYMPUS I SWEAR

you tell them grover!!!!!!

oh he really did choose grover because he trusted him aw :,)

YES SHIP THE HEAD

“i am impertinent” ily

the song 💀 this is why they are besties

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA? *lip bite*

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson show #pjo tv show #pjo spoilers #pjo show #aunty em #annabeth chase #grover underwood

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mj3llyfish · 16 days

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Fallen angel!Adam x Moth Healer!Reader

Chapter 3: The beautiful light

(Ch.1) (Ch.2) (Ch.3)

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares, cannibalism, and smoking

A/n: Just wanna thank all the peeps that were able to vote on the poll I made a few days ago <33 Had no idea what to do for the story so voting really helped me. Also this one’s kinda L O N G, I just had a lot of ideas for this part. (Also this song just reminded me of this fic listen to it PLS)

Adam’s pov:

Another weird ass dream, ever since I moved in this chicks hip-dip apartment I’ve been getting them. It’s mostly the day of the extermination, I can’t believe I didn’t turn back as soon as they started fighting back. Now I let everyone in heaven down, even Lute.

Whatever, I need to go wiz. I should probably stay quiet otherwise that butterfly bitch might wa-

Third dream pov (idk what to call it):

Before Adam can finish his thoughts, he looks towards the mirror, revealing his angel form but severely injured, and with a large gaping wound in his chest, surrounded by blood. Adam lets out a startled yelp, backing up against the bathroom door, awakening him.

Normal third pov:

Adam wakes up, startled at his new dream. He had still been lying on the couch, but his eyes wider than ever. He sits up, some of the leather couch sticking against his sweaty body, scratching the back of his head. The grey morning sky shined between the window blinds, he wanted to go back to sleep, but who could after a dream like that?

Adam rushes to the bathroom, quickly opening the door and turning on the lights, heading straight to the mirror. He gently touches his left horn, feeling a mix of relief but also disappointment that he’s back in his new body.

A lousy cough escapes his chapped lips, feeling that his throat is dry, and decides to get water from the kitchen tap, grabbing a mug and filling it up with water. Sure it tasted weird and warm, but he didn’t care. He chugged the nearly the whole thing in one sip, with some water spilling from the cup to his chin hairs. Adam slams the cup against the table.

Suddenly, a displeasing alarm goes off in the distance. He realizes that he’s not alone in here, what could that alarm be for tho? Y/n steps out of from her room still in her pajamas, yawning.

“Oh Adam!... What are you doing up this early?” She asks while heading to the kitchen. “I dunno man, just felt like it.” He responds in annoyance, “What are you doing up this early? You’re the one with the annoying ass alarm.”

Y/n rolls her eyes a bit while opening the fridge and taking out a box of frozen waffles, “I just have somethings to do today, so I thought I’d wake up early. I’m planning to pick up something from cannibal town.” She begins putting some waffles in a toaster while making herself a latte. “Gasp, you should totally come!!” Y/n exclaims excitedly.

Adam looks alarmed, offended even, and just stairs in confusion. “Y/n, why in the fuck, would I want to go anywhere, in this miserable place.” He says in a brutally honest manner. “I mean seriously, are you blind? Have you seen what goes on out there??” Adam pulls y/n to the window opening the blinds, revealing a guy getting his brains blown out.

Y/n cringes at the sight, “okay yeah it’s not great, but cannibal town is pretty enjoyable! Cmon you’ll see what I mean when we go there, plus you get to try out those wings of yours.” She says pointing at his scaly two scaly things, leading Adam to spread one of them a bit.

Y/n stares at Adam waiting for an answer, he sighs in annoyance, “eugh, fine I’ll go. Whatever means I can crash in here.” She then jumps in excitement, “Yess!! Also you’re going to have to pay at least half of the rent here if you wanna stay.” (He really thought 😭)

Time skip: 2hours

Adam waits on the couch waiting for y/n to finish up getting ready, y/n was lucky to find her old roommates clothes in his size. He has a leather jacket, along with black jeans and a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt. He’s wearing the same boots he wore when he got here tho, he thought they’d look good with his jacket. Adam flinches at the sudden steps of y/n who just finished up, walking in the room.

“Sorry, I didnt scare you did I?” She says chuckling whilst brushing her hair. She had a long forest green skirt, along with a brown laced top and a cardigan that only reached her elbows. “So do you wanna fly or walk there? I can teach you how!”

Adam realizes, he has to pretend he doesn’t know how to fly, otherwise she might get suspicious. He assumes that since one angel has fallen, then there must be a shit ton. He can’t let her know that he’s the reason for the exterminations. “yeah, yeah totally totes you can definitelyteachmehowtoflymanandstuffhahahha” He rambles on while his eyebrows are furrowed and making finger guns to him, noticeably sweating his ass off.

Y/n notices this, then coming to a conclusion. “I know why you’re nervous, Adam..” She says gently, while looking up at him. Adam panics, nearly choking on his spit, “Ar-Ar you serious?”

“Yeah..

you must be afraid of heights!” She exclaimed happily, truly a eureka moment for this woman. Adam sighs in relief, the most unbearable relief anyone has ever felt. “I knew it from the moment I saw you, it’s always the tall ones.” She says shaking her head. “We don’t have to fly, Adam. It’s only a mile or two away, we’ll get there in no time!” Y/n adds picking up her messenger bag. “Now, let’s get going!” She says with a bright smile.

As they step onto the sidewalk, y/n notices that Adam seems a bit cautious. Normally when he was in hell it was to commit a massacre, not having to worry about a sinner hurting them because-well they couldn’t at the time. But now things are different, he’s one of them now.

“Relax,” Y/n starts, “just stay out of trouble, and stick with me. Oh and also watch your step, these guys are open to just taking a dump anywhere they’d like.”

The two begin to walk on the dirty sidewalk, y/n being extra careful about where she’s walking, but Adam doesn’t really mind stepping on a used condom or some junkies bag of coke.

“So, what’s it like up there?” Y/n asks, Adam gets alarmed at her question, stuttering a bit. “uuuUUP WHERE?”

“On earth! I heard that the sky is blue instead of red. And the animals there are not as scaly” y/n begins to stroke the soft hairs on her left wing, she was truly torturing this poor man. “How do the animals look here?” He asks, before y/n can respond,

splat!

A large red fleshy snake falls onto the ground, not really moving that much, just there. “I think that should answer your question” y/n then walks over the seemingly dead snake, while Adam does the same.

“So like, what do you guys do here all day?” Adam questions while sneering at the explicit posters causally displayed out in the open. “I mean, that depends on who you’re asking. Most people go on a rampage as soon as they get here, at least from what I see.” Y/n shrugs. “But sometimes you find a stable part of hell, or at least as stable as hell can be.” Adam becomes slightly intrigued about what she’s saying about hell. “Like, I work at a cafe around here. It’s nice but it’s a bit hard to keep up the wage when angels and demons wreck the place every now and then.” She says sadly, Adam feeling a wave of shame, that she has to live in constant fear while working because of others, and sometimes him.

Eventually, both y/n and Adam finally enter cannibal town. Adam being a bit wary, since he sees many familiar faces around the place, but not for good reason. Y/n then noticing, “Adam? You don’t look so good, is something wrong?” She questions. Adam begins to snap out of his cautious mode, “uhh, yeah?It’s not like on earth people are open to just eating each other out in the open-and NOT in the good way.” He scoffs, pointing to a gentlemen eating another’s guts out. “Oof, Rosie might wanna get that checked at.” Y/n says looking over at where Adam is pointing.

“And who the hell is Rosie??” Adam asks pretty loudly, “The mayor, but I’m sure she’s busy today. Anyways, I’m gonna go to the florist shop. Whole I go you can..” Y/n begins to look around, trying to find a place for Adam to get distracted, then finding a smoke store nearby. “-go to the smoke shop!” She suggests pointing nervously to the shop, hoping that her assumption wouldn’t offend him.

Adam stared at the shop for a bit, he had smoked before, but it was mostly when he was able to disguise himself as a human and go to earth. But he hasn’t done that in a while, last time he smoked he found himself passed out at the back of some hippies van. Ever since Sera made sure he was always watched whenever he went to earth.

“…yeah sure I’ll go smoke.” He submits. Y/n taking a breath of relief, “good! I’ll be in the shop if you need me” Y/n quickly gives him a nice 50, then going off to the flower shop.

Adam finishes his shopping trip pretty quickly, to be fair all he had was 50$ and the store was quite small. He just bought a bubbler and a pack of cigarettes, along with a lighter of course. He sits on a bench that had been between the two stores, then smoking one of the cigarettes.

He sat on that thing for at least 6 or 7 minutes. As he was sitting, he did notice that this place was nicer than every other part of hell. A bit weird to think about, how just a few days ago they were trying to kill each other. A huge gust of wind blows his cigar onto the floor, and into a puddle to his left. His attention is then drawn into the reflection for a few seconds, but he shrinks away from the pain of realizing he’s a demon now, and turns away closing his eyes.

After a good 9 minutes, y/n comes out with a woven basket of lavender, as well as candles with flowers inside of them. “Oh I took so long didn’t I?” She apologizes. “They just had a great sale on candles I couldn’t resist!” Y/n begins to sit down with Adam, hoping to rest a bit after standing round for a bit. “So, how have your last few days been down here?”

“Shitty. Do you have any eyeliner?” Adam replies manspreading, him being slightly slouched down. Y/n then scurries in her bag, hoping to find some. “I didn’t strike you as the type to wear eyeliner.” She chuckles, handing him the small stick along with a hand mirror. “What shape do you like putting it? I like a thin feline, it’s cute but basic.” Y/n shrugs, “Do I look like Jeffery star to you? I don’t know the fuckin species of eyeliner.” He laughs shaking his head giving himself a soft Smoke. Y/n laughs along with him, setting down the basket of lavender and candles between them.

“I got the lavender stuff for you.” Y/n says, Adam pauses, looking over at y/n. “…you’re not that smart are you?” Adam stares judgmentally, y/n taking lots of offense to his comment but keeping quiet. “Why do I need flowers right now? I don’t need a pity gift, especially if they’re some fucking flowers.” Adam scoffs. “No, they aren’t a pity gift or anything, I can tell you haven’t slept peacefully ever since you’ve gotten here.” Y/n removes a bit of the cloth on the basket to take one of the lavenders out. “These will be able to help you, I can make tea out of them and they’ll help you out. Or we can use the aromatherapy I got with it too, just in case you don’t like tea.” Y/n offers, she reaches over to gently grab Adam’s hand places it on hers.

“I know you’re going through a lot Adam. You don’t have to tell me why, but I need you to know that hiding your feelings wont do any good for you.” She explains giving a worried but weirdly comforting look at him, “so please, let me help you.”

Adam stares into y/n’s maroon and green eyes. He then feels as if a big weight of pressure left his chest, he’s never been able to have a person understand him like this. Especially when they don’t really know who he is. Tears slowly form in his red eyes, as y/n pulls him in for a hug. Feeling the warmth in her body made him feel safe in a way, that he could trust her. That she can always help him when he needs it. He didn’t know the exact words for it, but all he knew is that he hadn’t felt this way ever since Eden.

Adam’s dream pov:

Both Adam and y/n had gotten back to the house, it was a nice trip back since Adam finally trusted her a whole lot more. Once they got back y/n gave Adam some lavender tea, sure he would rather drink a cup of literal vomit than tea but he was desperate to sleep soundly for once. Hell, he could even sleep in jeans if we wanted to.

Adam practically throws himself on the couch, immediately going to sleep as soon as his cheek hits the pillow. He dreams of nothing but a void of darkness, as others do, but in that void he sees a familiar face in it, carrying a beautiful light with it. As the light came closer, it transformed into something Adam can only described as beauty.

He wasn't sure who it was tho, he's seen many women in his life, but he couldn't poke out who it was, only little things.The way she laughed, felt like small bubbles popping in his head. and her teeth coming from her smile, like beams of light, peaking through clusters and clusters of trees. And her eyes, oh her gorgeous eyes, like two pearls shining against the sunlight. Whoever it was, was truly gorgeous. But who was it?

Lilith?

Eve?

Lute?

No, it can’t be

You just met her..

Y/n? ♡

#Spotify #hazbin hotel #adam hazbin x reader #Adam x reader #viziepop #idk #hazbin hotel adam #lol #x reader #Fanfic #adam hazbin hotel #jellywrites #dividers by dolly

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wackus-bonkus-maximus · 9 months

Note

A reminder of your crowning achievement 😌

Truly you are the most hurtful to the blorbos

#ml fanfic #miraculous fanfiction #mlb fanfic #ml fanfic writers #littlebugs #blorbo torture poll

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noahtally-famous · 1 year

Note

do you have any total drama (2023) season 2 predictions?

thanks for the ask, anon!

these are all based on the four episodes I've watched and the stuff I've seen circulating tumblr abt the season!

imma split this up to make things easier for everyone-

hopes:

goddammit I need more axel and nichelle screentime pls and tyvm--tumblr has got me shipping them and I can't get out of that hole

but seriously, I hope now that they learned from the mistakes they'd made this season, next season they get far--preferably post-merge

popular take but: CAN CHEMMA FUCKING BREAK UP IN S2?? like emma realizing all this isn't worth it and splitting it off with chase (or, for whatever reason, the other way around--only bc I've seen posts speculating on that happening lmao, or they mutually split it, or what-fucking-ever. I literally do not care how they split or who's the initiator, I just want them split!)

I need more of MK!! I heard she gets booted pretty early :( but I'm hoping in s2, she's back and better than ever!

this is smth I haven't seen a lot when it comes to asks like this, but some solid ripper characterization would be neat--without the fart jokes, might I add. like I saw this post talking abt ripper realizing that his "manly disposition" isn't getting him anywhere and he gets close to certain ppl in the show and have to move past his previous beliefs and embrace his inner soft side that he's repressed.

no but seriously, I don't rlly like ripper all that much rn, so this happening in s2 would be rlly cool to his character!

bisexual emma pls??? and possibly bisexual chase??? idk if fresh will make that happen but a girl can hope, ig lmao

bowie and emma repairing their friendship-

idk I like the idea of a bowie and caleb rivalry bc bowie got caleb voted off, so maybe caleb feels some resentment for that and wants to get even in s2?? and ofc since it's bowie, he's not gonna take that lying down-

need more millie & priya friendship fr

I’ve heard that damien and priya have cute interactions so I hope they get more time to grow??? not strictly as a ship btw but I wouldn’t be opposed to that (my multishipping ass trying to find middle ground here lmao)

I need more damien and scary girl interactions, those two were hilarious

predictions:

I know most of these are my hopes rather than predictions, but what I will say is that there will def be more raj and bowie moments. like that's a no-brainer, Fresh would be pretty dumb not to have that happen

this is more of a combo of a hope and a prediction, but more multi-dimensional characterizations of scary girl, caleb, nichelle, damien, and axel?? none of them got enough screentime to add more to their characters so I'm betting s2 will focus on them...hopefully

chemma breakup--there's no way that ship can be fixed lmao, they're better off not together and--if fresh rlly wants it--with other ppl

bowie's prob gonna make it post-merge but not to the final two again. idk abt priya but I'm hoping it's the same for her too bc I love both of them sm-

I've seen discussions of a potential 'wayne and raj separate teams' arc, and while that would be crushing, I feel like that could happen?? it'd certainly bring forth some sort of tension/drama

these are all that I can think of. maybe once I finish watching the season, I can give a more lengthy list!

#answered #anonymous #kit speaks #noahtally famous #kit stuff #total drama spoilers #total drama 2023 #total drama revival season #total drama

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howlingday · 2 years

Text

Whitely presses the emergency button.

Whitely: Orange is faking tasks!

Roman: Uh, I am not.

Whitely: You were standing still in the laboratory for almost a full minute!

Roman: Uh, I am trying to reverse Doodle search what kind of dinosaurs are in these fossils!

Ruby: I don't think we have enough evidence to vote yet.

Winter: I concur. Let us skip.

No one is ejected.

Roman presses the emergency button.

Roman: Okay, so, according to reverse Doodle search, none of these fossils match with any known fossil records, because they are cartoons.

Weiss: Shut up and let us do tasks.

Whitely: White sus.

Weiss: Nice try, bedwetter. Jaune saw me do trash chute.

Jaune: It's true! I did indeed see her shoot trash.

Whitely: Then they're both imposters!

Ruby: Whitely, there's only one imposter.

Whitely: Um...

Weiss: lmao bye kid

Whitely: WAIT! NO!

Whitely was ejected.

Whitely was not the imposter.

Qrow hits the emergency button.

Qrow: RAVEN

Raven: Qrow is the imposter.

Qrow: Raven has been chasing me the entire game and is CLEARLY trying to kill me!

Raven: I just like watching you run, bird boy! Plus, I saw Qrow come out of a vent.

Qrow: YOU LIAR! You did not!

Raven: Did too!

Qrow: Did not!

Raven: Did too! Sus! Big sus! Big bird sus!

Winter: Qrow, is this true? Are you, indeed, sus?

Qrow: I have been watching the security cameras for half the game, and the other half Raven's been chasing me!

Weiss: Well, Jaune and I were in security when the button was pressed, and I didn't see you there.

Qrow: That's because I was the one who pushed the button!

Weiss: Don't yell at me! Jaune, vote Black!

Jaune: Yes, Miss Weiss!

Qrow: WHAT?!

Qrow was ejected.

Qrow was not the imposter.

Raven hits the emergency button.

Raven: Hold up. Nora, where have you been all game?

Nora: I finished all my tasks, I've just been running around.

Roman: Already?

Nora: Yeah!

Weiss: How is that even possible?! We just started this game, and half of it has been emergency meetings.

Jaune: How do I do the card minigame?! I don't understand!

Nora: You can do it if you know how to ZOOM! Also, doing all the tasks as the imposter is so much easier, because you can vent, and the imposter doesn't have to do tasks.

Jaune: How do I vent?!

Weiss: Wait. Raven said she saw Qrow vent, but he wasn't the imposter.

Raven: Can I curse?

Ruby: No.

Raven: Oh yeah I lied. lmao I just hate that bird brain.

Weiss: Bye

Raven was ejected.

Raven was not the imposter.

Winter hits the emergency button.

Winter: Miss White, I fear I have grown suspicious of you. You have been eager to vote off our many compatriots a

Winter: Sorry. Character limit.

Winter: And yet none of them were the imposter.

Weiss: Are you serious? Jaune already said he saw me do trash. I'm clear.

Ruby: Visual tasks are off.

Jaune: Yes! Miss Weiss private messaged me to tell everyone I saw her shoot trash.

Weiss: #$%@!

Weiss: $%@#!

Weiss: %@#$!

Weiss: @#$%!

Winter: Lying AND swearing? Your crimes are numerous indeed.

Roman: Psh! Not that numerous.

Weiss was ejected.

Weiss was not the imposter.

Nora presses the emergency button.

Nora: How we all doin?

Nora was ejected.

Nora was not the imposter.

Jaune presses the emergency button.

Jaune: pls

Jaune: Vote me off

Roman: Uh...

Jaune: I have failed Miss Weiss. I could not protect her. It is only right that I follow her out in the airlock!

Roman: I can respect that.

Winter: Miss Rose. You are the only one left with an emergency meeting button. After voting off Mr. Arc, please vote me off.

Ruby: Why?! After Vomit Boy, there will only be three of us left, and if we vote it down to two, then the imposter wins!

Winter: Among Us is simply a game. The imposter changes every round, and their crimes have no consequence. I, however, am a specialist, a real one. It is my job to solve crimes and uncover criminal activity, yet under my w

Winter: Sorry. Character limit.

Winter: Yet under my watch, I have sent several innocents out into the unforgiving vacuum of space. I am unfit to wear this badge.

Winter: The only imposter

Winter: is me

Roman: ACAB

Jaune was ejected

Jaune was not the imposter

Winter was ejected

Winter was not the imposter

RUBY WAS THE IMPOSTER

Whitely: I'm so mad! She didn't even kill anyone!

Raven: See, this is what I keep saying! Y'all need to get more comfortable murdering children! Vindication for Raven! I'm the real winner.

#rwby #epithet erased #epithet erased among us skit #whitely schnee #roman torchwick #ruby rose #winter schnee #weiss schnee #jaune arc #qrow branwen #raven branwen #nora valkyrie

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downstairsbar · 11 months

Note

i voted on his side with hands roaming his body and then that one anon said he'd only do that if he was pregnant

so I'm throwing out to the writer universe. can someone pls pls write this very specific thing for me

louis pregnant having sex while lying on his side. 🥺

I wonder what lestat is like when Louis is pregnant I wonder if he gets temporarily weirdly protective and careful or he spends all day trying to convince Louis to fuck. Wait why am I acting like those aren’t compatible

#qs

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ketbra · 4 months

Text

✨2024 goals✨:

1) Don't let your country fall into a fascist state

Show up for your community

Join library's event and groups

Join your university's events and groups

Speak up against injustices (if it safe to do so)

Make sure your workplace respects yours and your colleagues rights

Be kind to strangers

Show up at protests (if/when it's safe)

If you engage in a debate with the opposite party: be safe, be calm, don't let them get to your nerves

Help old people

Listen to teens

Talk to people who seem lonely

More in person action, less social media activism

Be kind to the homeless, if you have the possibility some spare change can make the difference

If you can join a volunteer organization

2) Help fighting climate change

STOP BUYING THINGS YOU DON'T NEED

Stop using shein, temu, amazon and all the e-commerce apps and websites of the sort

Buy local and in person. This applies for food and objects as well

If you have the space and the time try growing easy vegetables

Recycle and demand your country/state/region/city to actually dispose of waste in a safe way and to actually recycle

Instead of throwing away your old clothes give them to others, friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, charities

Try to avoid buying plastic products. (I understand this can be impossible sometimes but if you have alternatives pls consider them)

Demand your government for environmental friendly politics and demand them now

Boycott brands that greenwash their products

Take care of your garden, plants, the grass at the park

Stop buying from brands who pollute water (fuck nestle)

Stop buying from brands who promote child labor and slavery (fuck nestle)

Demand for better public transportation

Try to fix the objects that break instead of buying new ones

Don't buy another car if yours works fine

Read what things are made of, clothes, foods etc

If there are protests join them!

3) Improve mental health

Less screen time

Unfollow anyone you think has a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect partner, a perfect career, a perfect body. Unfollow any aesthetic blogs. Life isn't like that anyway

Anyone who tells you you can fix your life with just enough motivation is lying to you

You just need the right diet/outfit/skin routine/face symmetry/... Lies! ALL LIES!! You need a support system.

The good news, if you don't have a support system is that, is that making friends isn't as hard as it seems I promise.

Lots and lots of people are feeling lonely right now, everybody is looking for a sense of community, build one

Try a new hobby, or continue with another one

Read something, not like everyday, or that you have to reach a book quota, read anything magazines, fanfictions, instructions...

Sometimes the world seems against you, but it's not

Don't panic

Talk with your friends

Talk with your family

Make new friends and/or a new family if the current ones sucks

Walk a little bit every day

Get out of the house

Ask for help if you need it, even if you think it's something stupid, I promise people won't roll their eyes and be pissed about it

You're a complex organism, you need to eat

4) Career

It's always okay to waste company's time and money

Ask for a raise even if you don't think you deserve one

Never give your 100%

Be friendly with your colleagues (you're in the same boat)

Don't do things that are obviously dangerous just because "they've always done it like that" . You have the right to be safe

Always check the company's benefits

In many countries is actually illegal to get fired on the spot. Workers have rights, and if they don't they should demand them

Unionize. If you can't/don't want to at least talk with your colleagues about the problems you all are facing

You don't owe your workplace the truth about your lifestyle and your identity

5) Manifesting

Remember that is always morally right to celebrate when horrible people die

It's also always morally correct to wish for billionaires, politicians, CEOs, and dictators to die

6) Be the change

- Vote. One of the most important things you can do is to VOTE

I know politicians all look the same and it feels like compromising your ethics. But it's not like that. The only ones gaining something from your absence at the polls are the fascists!!

Spread awareness about the injustices, not only online but in your circle as well.

Donate when you can

Protest

Demand your government to take action

#2024 #New year #New world #2024 goals #Together we stand devided we fall #I know I've forgotten something important feel free to add advices #Aesthetic #happy new year #Current events

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whyse7vn · 7 months

Text

MIDLIFE CRISIS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JIMIN OLD ERA

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

namjoon: why are you guys so quiet today

what did you do??

just tell me so i can fix it pls and thx

hobi: idk I’m at the studio

y/n: omw to the studio so idk x2

jk: i am at home

tae: i am also at jungkooks home (and y/ns i would never forget u my queen i love ur house) maybe yoongi got into a fight again idk

yoongi: i am watching tv

not fighting

that was one time

hobi: didn’t you break woozi’s nose literally last week and harassed scoups a week before that?

jin: he also did knock out that one staff guy last month

namjoon: he did

and luckily when the guy woke up he couldn’t remember anything and didn’t sue

yoongi: you know about all that?

stop stalking me

freaks.

hobi: people talk yoongi!!!

tae: AND HE PUNCHED ME YESTERDAY

y/n: YOU BROKE WOOZI’S NOSE??????

tae: ok but yoongi also punched ME like who even is woozi when he’s at home????

yoongi: me but if i was ugly homeless untalented and had a broken nose

jin: yoongi is woozi’s evil twin

y/n: WHAT DID WOOZI EVER DO TO YOU??

yoongi: idk a woozi

namjoon: we are getting off track

jimin jin what did you do??

jimin: NOTHING I SWEAR IT WASN’T ME LITERALLY MAKING A SANDWICH RN

jin: i was cleaning haven’t done anything promise

namjoon: who is lying to me

pls tell me i really don’t have time for this rn

y/n: i vote jimin why is he shouting never trust a man that shouts

also tae get the fuck out my house rn

and can i get a little context about this woozi situation….

tae: cant wait for u to come home #sleepover

jimin: ITS NOT ME I SWEAR ALSO I THINK I BROKE MY PHONE I CANT TAKE CAPSLOCK OFF HELP

I VOTE JIN CUZ FYM UR CLEANING

jin: it means i me cleaning?

is he stupid? anyways i vote y/n cuz she’s a sick little liar and is probably causing problems

y/n: i’m literally in a car rn i’m not doing anything

YOONGI ANSWER UR PHONE RN

yoongi: read my message i sent you :3

hobi: i vote tae

jk: same

tae: wtf jungkook

jk: sorry u are taking real long in the toilet for all i know you could of jumped out the window and stabbed 46 people

tae: no cuz ur so right

but i haven’t btw namjoon if ur wondering

namjoon: ur all stressing me out

stop arguing

and NO sex talk please

jimin: ??????

yoongi: who is arguing?

jin: and who is talking about sex?

namjoon: oh

um okay

cool

good

yoongi: freak

hobi: yoongi about to send u this song listen to it pretty pls with a cherry on top >.<

yoongi: k

jk: guys pls someone bring me bread

i ate all my bread

y/n: will get some on my way home

yoongi i stg answer ur phone

jk: blushing

yoongi: :3333

jimin: PLS SOMONE HELP ME HOW DO I FIX THIS

jin: it’s probably a issue in ur settings

maybe idk

have you checked?

jimin: WILL DO THAT

namjoon: this feel extremely wrong

is everyone ok?

hobi: yes yes

yoongi: 👍🏻

jimin: YEAH

tae: yh

jin: yup

jk: yes mr namjoon

y/n: ofc !!

but woozi is not can we pls address the woozi situation yoongi did NOT answer me

namjoon: okay

why do i feel like something is wrong then

everything is wayyyyy to calm

it’s like

domestic almost

in a strange way

its unsettling

jin: then settle? idk what to tell you

jk: domestic malewife 🥺

my dream

y/n: ????

namjoon: no one is threatening to kill anyone

ur not taking about sex

nothing about feminism

or tae being broke

no jk vs yoongi

jin vs jimin????

hobi isn’t singing

no drug talk

and not one of you is on drugs right now??

guys be fr

what’s wrong?

jk: do you want me to get high rn??????

i can do it

if you want

i can

just say the word

namjoon: no wtf???

i would LIKE if you guys told me what the fuck you’re hiding from me

jin: let’s talk about what UR hiding joon

y/n: OMG WHY ARE WE NOT CONCERNED THAT YOONGI BROKE WOOZIS NOSE LIKE HELLO?????

namjoon: what i’m hiding????

i’m not hiding anything

jimin: IS IT FIXED NOW GUYS?

tae: when life gets tough you need to fix yourself

or you won’t be fixed

jk: woah

yoongi: what?

hobi: it’s cold as fuck toady

y/n: HIS NOSE HELLO??? ITS BROKEN

jk: tell him to fix it

because if he doesn’t fix himself he won’t be fixed

tae: the way jungkook just gets it 🥺

jin: don’t lie kim namjoon

namjoon: i really don’t know what ur talking about but ok??

anyways u guys are still bothering me but not in a i want to bash my head against a wall sense like normal

but in a are they being held at gun point sense

can you all snap out of it??

jk: don’t bash ur head joon

namjoon: im not

that is my problem

yoongi: sounds like you are

namjoon: you guys did something real fucked up didnt you that’s why ur acting like this

you can tell me

i wont get mad

hobi: ok can you shut up ohmygod

jimin: LITERALLY JOON UR GREAT AND ALL BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PLS SHUT THE HELL UP

jk: can you not shout pls ur scaring people

jimin: I CANT HELP IT

jk: sorry i’m just a ugly pig then

yoongi: ur so dramatic

tae: don’t worry kookie small men often carry a large amount of rage that’s why jimin is shouting

don’t take it personal

jimin: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME??

y/n: ok so you guys really don’t gaf about woozi???

jk: what is that???

yoongi: literally

tae: y/n can you also buy cheese for us when you come back

jk: cheese 🤤

y/n: whatever….

namjoon: wow ok

i’ll just go then?

jk: baiiii ^^ 💞✨

namjoon: no this feels so wrong

y/n: go take a nap joon

hobi: bros just yapping away like 💀

tae: GO

namjoon: did you guys kill someone?

be honest with me im begging

jin: maybe if we ignore him he’ll go away

jimin: fixed my keyboard

thank god amen #lifeisgood

namjoon: guys

jk: i’m a man not a guy

yoongi: what

hobi: do you think maybe this is his midlife crisis?

jin: i thought the whole rap monster thing was his midlife crisis

y/n: he was like 18 then?

jin: i didn’t expect him to live long

jimin: start of life crisis

tae: maybe namjoon himself is the crisis

namjoon: you guys are my crisis

y/n: we haven’t even done anything

namjoon: can you guys do something

hobi: ur really loosing it

namjoon: don’t make ME do something

hobi: wtf is namjoon threatening me rn?

jimin: what is the worst namjoon can do be fr

namjoon: i have like 127 snipers on ur house rn shut the fuck up

jimin: wtf???????

y/n: nct core

namjoon: me y/n and tae had a threesome

jk: WHAT??????????????

jin: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

jimin: oh my actual god

tae: I HIT I HIT GUYS I DID IT ALL OF YOU THAT PRAYED ON MY DOWNFALL LOOK AT ME NOW LOOK AT ME

namjoon: but that’s not the first time we fucked

minus tae ofc

tae: wait what

hobi: oh wow

namjoon: on jungkooks birthday last year

yoongi: laughed

namjoon: and at a sleepover we all had at yoongi’s house

yoongi: oh

jk: WHAT THE FUCK

y/n: i am going to kill you

namjoon: i have almost asked her to be my girlfriend

y/n: what

namjoon: on multiple occasions

jk: THIS HAS TO BE FAKE OMGSHH2£:£!£3:;&;’cmnfkknfmfnc

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: i’ve tried to get taehyung kicked out of the group a total of 29 times

tae: WHY WTF

????

OMG

BETRAYAL OF THE CENTURY

WHAT THE HELL

jin: LMAO that’s crazy as hell

namjoon: i have never eaten a single dish jin has ever cooked for me

jin: ARE YOU SICK?????????

I SLAVE AWAY IN THE KITCHEN

AND FOR WHAT???

FUCKING UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT

NEVER COOKING FOR U AGAIN

WOW IM SO PISSED

FUCK YOU

UGLY FUCK

namjoon: when we debuted i believed jimin was the ugliest man i had ever seen and felt physically ill when people would flirt with him because wtf were they seeing??

jimin: WOW

WOOOOOW

wow

that’s crazy actually

do u even fw us be honest

hobi: definitely fw y/n that’s for sure!!!

ok i’m sorry i didn’t mean it i don’t want to know what you have to say im sorry i just saw the opportunity PLS IM SORRY IM SORRY

namjoon: ur mother used to send me money so i would hang with you

hobi: ur telling me our sunday bonding days weren’t actually sunday bonding days 🥲

namjoon: i wanted to shoot myself in the head

jimin: what the actual fuck is happening

jk: HES LYING HES LYING THERE IS NO WUAYS HES LYINGGGGGGG

namjoon: why would i be lying?

y/n: namjoon you need stop talking

yoongi: namjoon kill yourself

jk: YEAH KILL YOURSELF

namjoon: thank you

jimin: this is by far the craziest degradation kink i’ve ever seen

namjoon: argue

yoongi: you want us to argue?

are you high?

jk: HES HIGH HE IS I KNOW IT

HE WOULDNT SAY ALL OF THAT SOBER

tae: waittt namjoons first high 💞💞💞💞

jimin: that makes sense

he don’t even know what he’s talking about rn lmao

not even mad anymore

i’m happy for u bro

namjoon: no i definitely do know what i’m talking about

i just want you guys to act normal

tae: it’s okay ur doing great joonie

namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH STOP

y/n: you have to be cuz wtf

jk: im confused

namjoon: shut up

jk: why is namjoon fighting me

namjoon: i literally slept with y/n

jk: STOP IT MAKE HIM GO AWAY

PLEASE

jin: IDC IF HES OFF FUCKING COKE RN

he’s actually so fucked up and insane for saying that TO ME LIKE TO ME MY COOKING ARE YOU INSANE??????

what a SHIT leader…

hobi: i think maybe he needs to hug a tree rn

stay grounded or smth

yoongi: bro is off the trees rn wydm

namjoon: i am “off” absolutely nothing rn maybe i’m just really concerned for you all

and maybe just maybe it’s you guys’ fault for making me have to act and talk insane so YOU GUYS can act and talk insane and make me feel at peace in life

you made me like this

all you do is cause me stress

this is ALL UR OWN FAULT

tae: i am NOT reading that essay 😭

jimin: omg we are all literally being gaslit by kim namjoon rn what the actual fuck is life

namjoon: im sick of you all

ur ageing me

y/n: i think ur ageing urself tbh

hobi: life goes on man…

tae: tbh i think namjoon is going through a bad trip rn

like tell me he doesn’t sound high as hell

jimin: you’ve actually lost it namjoon

hobi: it was bound to happen

tae: it’s okay just hold ur breath until you pass out and when u wake up you’ll be fine

that’s how i stop a bad trip

namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH FOR THE LAST TIME

jk: that’s what i say when i’m high

just saying

yoongi: this is definitely that midlife crisis

namjoon: why are you not freaking out about me literally having sex with the girl your in love with

yoongi: ur high and idc

jk: I CARE

i don’t believe you joon 😡

y/n: this is not life rn…..

hobi: are all four of you not in love with her wow thats kinda insane

y/n rizz go crazy

jimin: why don’t you all just like idk

date????

hobi: omg wait i wanna date too don’t leave me out this time 🥺🫰🏼

yoongi: i’ll pass

MY girl idk if you get that or not

jimin: but she’s-

whatever

ur all fucked up idc

might as well all fuck but fuck me right???

ur girl no ur so right i need to just shut my mouth

sighs looks left looks right

idiot

namjoon: you all make me sick

jimin: literally do not care

jk: do you need a hug namjoon?

namjoon: absolutely not shut the fuck up

jk: oh 🥲

yoongi: so ur just really fucking mean high?

sucks

namjoon: IS HELL FROZEN OVER YOONGI BASICALLY JUST DEFENDED JUNGKOOK LIKE WHAT????? GUYS ARE YOU SEEING THIS???

hobi: who sold you this weed man..

we need to get them

jimin: he probably got sold cocaine got told it was weed and took it all

jin: yikes

sleep it off joon!!

namjoon: I HATE YOU ALL

omg

guys

i’m going to kill myself

….

now you say good or like do it or we won’t miss you

jin: who hurt you??

namjoon: YOU GUYS DID

YOU GUYS DO

ALL THE TIME ACTUALLY

WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING THAT NOW

jk: he wants us to tell him to kill himself?

namjoon: YES

y/n: he’s actually loosing his mind wow

hobi: he’s literally on another universe rn

jin: i’ll actually kill you instead of telling you to kill urself how about that!

namjoon: SHUT THE HELL UP

yoongi: does he want us to argue or stfu??? i don’t get it anymore

y/n: ur really like being insane rn joon

jimin: this a high that NEEDS to be slept off…

namjoon: there is no way u guys are being fr rn…

you guys are fucking with me

WHY IS IT AN ISSUE WHEN I SAY SOMETHING OUT OF LINE

hobi: you said MANY things out of line

namjoon: BUT YOU GUYS CAN TALK ABOUT HOW TAE HAD SEX WITH A RANDOM GIRL IN ALLEY FOR FREE FOOD AND NO ONE SAYS SHIT?????

tae: THAT IS NOT TRUE BTW

NAMJOON TELL THEM ITS NOT TRUE

namjoon: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY AT EACH OTHERS THROATS EVERY DAY AND WHEN I QUESTION WHY UR ALL BEING NORMAL I GET LOOKED AT FUNNY???

y/n: this is us normal?

I WAS LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT HOW YOONGI BROKE MY FRIENDS NOSE IS THAT NORMAL TO YOU???

tae: namjoon just used that fake scenario as an example IT IS NOT TRUE

namjoon: everyday you all push me closer to suicide

yoongi: ok?

idk what you want us to do at this point

namjoon: i don’t know either

yoongi: ok??

namjoon: ok

jk: OK 😋

namjoon: i think i’m gonna go now

namjoon left “JIMIN OLD ERA”

jimin: lmao i NEED to find out what he’s smoking that was crazy

—

i hate this actually.

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz

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