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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 2 months

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Kiss Me, I'm-

A Curtis and Honey Holiday Special

Summary- 3.2k Curtis x Plus Sized Reader. Saint Patrick's Day is in full swing at Paulie's Bar. You and Paulie play a friendly game of flip cup, that results in the whole bar getting a special holiday round of beer. As well as an opportunity for Curtis to get you all to himself.

Warnings- Dirty Talk, Sexual Activities, Alcohol Consumption, Buzzed/Drunk.

A/N- Thank you so much @mumbles411 for reading through this piece as well as all our conversations about Curtis and Honey. I really appreciate all the times you just drop a random thought and we weave whole scenarios around it. @bigtreefest thank you so much for dropping that ask in my inbox that prompted this. To all the readers, gosh you guys are incredible. Thank you!

If you happen to celebrate the holiday, please stay safe.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and/or give a share.

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist

“You can try to kick my ass at this.” You smirked as you flicked the cap off of a jameson bottle, the top spinning across the bar's counter till Paulie smacked his hand against it to keep it from spinning onto his floor.

“Oh girl, I know I am going to.” Paulie set down a line of red solo cups between the two of you, his eyes narrowed at your challenge. “Saint Patricks Day is a bartender's Christmas, I’m not about to let you out-flip me at flip cup.” He informed you while taking the bottle of Jameson, pouring some whiskey down the line and finishing the rest of the cups with his green beer.

Edgar at your side scrunched up his face. “So instead of Santa, you have little leprechauns you look forward to? Just fucking creepy man, I hate those little bastards.” He shuddered.

You laughed while bumping your shoulder against Edgar’s. “Even Lucky the lucky charms leprechaun?”

“ESPECIALLY HIM! You know he is a scheming little bastard. You’ve seen the movies, those leprechauns will murder you just because.”

Paulie scoffed at Edgar, setting the bottle and pitcher aside.

“Oooh! That was such a terrible set of movies.” You glanced over your shoulder towards where Curtis was in a game of pool with Ella. “We should watch the leprechaun movie later!” The balls clanked loudly after he took his shot and straightened up, leveling you a look.

“Honey, you taking that line of shots with Paulie, you’re gonna be out of commission tonight.” You scoffed to hide your grin, knowing he was right. After this topped off with the green beer Paulie was serving to celebrate, you were gonna be wasted. “Okay, tomorrow then.”

Ella piped up from the other side of the pool table. “Oh, I vote sleepover and we build a fort in the living room to watch them. Curtis can make us his hangover cure.”

“Deal.” You gave her some cheesy finger guns while Curtis eyed you, a playful gleam in his expression.

“Remember that when I’m trying to get you out of bed tomorrow.”

“Wait, can I crash this sleepover?” Edgar pouted and you slung your arm over his shoulder, drawing him in close.

“The more the merrier, of course you're invited.” From behind you, you could hear Curtis and Ella debating about the best hangover cures and just how committed Curtis was to cooking for all of you in the morning.

“Okay! Back to what we were doing… Paulie, you ready?”

“At drinking you under the table? Sweetheart I was born ready.” He curled his fingers on one of the cups at one end, preparing. You both stare at each other trying to intimidate the other. “The one with the most flipped cups wins.”

Curtis came up behind you at some point, his hands resting on your tense shoulders, squeezing lightly and you saw Paulie's eyes flicker behind you. “Bet’s on that Y/N gets in more shots. I know my girl, she doesn’t back down from a challenge.”

Oh did that make you tingle all over at his praise. Now you absolutely had to win.

“Prepare to lose your money Everett.” Paulie shot back but you just gave a cool smirk at the man. Edgar watched the clock above the bar and as soon as the second hand hit the new minute mark, his palm slammed down on the bar, making you leap into action.

You were good at this game, college had taught you the efficiency of keeping calm instead of trying to rush in flipping the cups.

Meaning while Paulie was fumbling with some of his flips, yours were steadily flipping in the correct manner, wincing whenever you came across the shots of whiskey, the beer though went down a lot easier.

“Son of a bitch, flip.” Paulie sputtered, seeming to get stuck halfway up the line. You were laser focused, the whiskey making your eyes water with every heavy swallow. Curtis was whispering in your ear about how you were turning him on right then.

“Come’on Pretty Girl. Show them how good my girl is.”

Between that and the burn of alcohol, you were swimming in the rush of it. The last cup flipped and you threw your hands up in victory with a cheer, just barely beating out Paulie by a matter of seconds. From behind you Curtis gave a victory yell, pulling you into him while you were still jumping and dancing in your win.

“Ya got lucky.” Paulie huffed while Curtis reached over you to grab the Jameson bottle and took a drag off it, claiming it for himself.

“My girl has fucking talent.” Curtis praised, his arms enclosing you against his firm chest. Warmth filled you, feeding you till you squirmed back against him, his grunt quietly muffled in your hair.

“Tease.” He whispered, flexing his hold on you to keep you still for now.

The whiskey as well as the rush of excitement had you floating on that feel-good sensation that you were ready to ride till it faded away.

“Alright Y/N, how are we celebrating?” Paulie leaned against the bar after cleaning up the pile of red solo cups and the remnants of jameson spilled across the bar.

“Beers.” You demanded. “St.Patrick’s Day demands it.”

“How about the next round on me then?” Paulie offered, gathering up the pitchers of beer to refill glasses.

“THE WHOLE BAR?” came a shout from somewhere in the room, you suspected it was Ella. Paulie conceded, waving over his customers to claim their free beer.

Curtis took his chance with the rush to the bar, tugging you away from the crowd and slipping the two of you through doors leading to the back rooms and the office. You giggled as he rounded on you, grabbing your hips and swinging you up to wrap your legs around his waist. “We aren’t supposed to be back here.” You chided, teasing as your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, hovering your lips close to his.

“Paulie is too fucking busy now losing part of his profits to notice where we are.” Curtis growled while continuing his mission to get you all to himself. Pushing open the office door with his shoulder, his hand fumbled on the lock while you crashed your mouth to his,

Pinning you back against the door, your head banged back with a soft thud while he traveled away from your lips, grinding into you.

“How's that whiskey treating you Pretty Girl?”

You whimpered when you felt his kiss at your pulse point turn harder, making you tingle at the sensation. “Good, really good…”

“Want me to make it even better?” His mouth finds your ear, teasing you enough to make you bite your lip at the loss of his mouth.

This man knew how to drive you crazy, your body arching to press against his all that much more although he already had you pinned tightly against the door. “Please Curtis?” Your tone is aching and needy, lust filled.

“Fuck when you sound like that.” He growled as his mouth reclaimed yours, swinging you away from the door and falling back into the chair behind the office desk, while your hands reached between you two, tugging his belt open. “It makes me so fucking hard for you.”

“How long do you think we have?” You moved to kiss along his bristled jawline, nipping at his neck while he reached around you to shake the computer mouse and pull up the bar's cameras.

“Plenty of time Pretty Girl.” He wrapped a hand into your hair, pulling you back till you were sitting up straight and his eyes could roam up and down your body, licking his lips like you were just made to be devoured. “Get out of those pants and turn around.” His palm smacked against your ass, making a slapping sound but your jeans kept away any sting. You lifted yourself off to do as he asked, a glance over your shoulder showed him shimming his pants and boxers down off his hips. For good measure, you stripped your shirt off to drop it with your pants.

“We’re gonna have to buy Paulie a new chair.” You giggle as you finally get one of your legs free and Curtis grasps your hips to make you back up, his touch going between your thick thighs to tighten his fingers into your panties, making them rub right up against your clit. “Fuck.” You hiss, rocking your hips enough to create friction.

“Leather chair Pretty Girl, he will never know once I wipe it back down.”

The image of Curtis’s ass cheeks in the leather made you giggle between breathy moans, another glance over your shoulder catching sight of him spitting on his hand and rubbing it up and down his cock. You couldn't muffle the giggles while Curtis pushed aside your panties finally and had you start to lower on him slowly, gentle bounces and thrusts working him in. “Although your ass print should be considered a work of art.” The image of framing the chair with two distinct ass cheek imprints having you laughing harder until Curtis pushed you down into his lap.

“You're a fucking work of art, remind me to nail you up against a wall later.” He stated, his hands flexing in appreciation along the curve of your hips.

A gasp escaped you, falling back into his chest with a buzzed grin plastered on your face. “I ever tell you how much I love feeling you. Mmmhh when I first met you I said ‘Y/N, that man has a cock made to ride.”

Curtis snorted behind you, running his hands up your front to tease your breasts in his hands, pushing your bra out of the way. “Was that before you went all teacher mode or after you left?”

You moved your hands over his, making him squeeze harder till he was doing the exact pressure you wanted. “Oh definitely during, the whole time we were walking around and I had to ask those questions. Good thing I had my note cards or else I would have failed at being logical.”

You felt the press of his smile against your cheek and a groan coming from him, followed by a curse. Squeezing your cunt around him always made him a little more vocal and you loved hearing him. “Wanna know what I was thinking the whole time?” He muttered in your ear before pushing you forward to sit up, your hands landing on the desk edge in front of you and his own touch slid down to your hips.

Digging into you like he was holding on.

“How this perfect fucking cunt was made to take my cock.” He thrusted up hard, making you jolt in his lap and flutter excitedly. “Knowing how god damn sexy you would be when you went mindless, begging for more.” He started faster, making you bounce on him. Your hands tightened their grip on Paulie’s desk to keep you from falling forward, the jolts making your little sounds escaping broken sounding almost pathetic. “How you played sweet and innocent that day, but I knew that was just a show…”

Your head nodded, your ass slapping down onto his lap now, your body jiggling in the forceful movements. His cock pounding into you was making your eyes roll, how good it felt to feel him fuck into you over and over. “T’was Curtis, I wanted…”

“Wanted what Pretty Girl?” He asked, his tongue and teeth sinking into your shoulder blade and kissing your flexing back. Sure there would be a mark on you, his mark and that satisfied him on a whole other level.

“That.”

“What’s that?” Curtis let go of your hips, to roam his hands over you, palming your breast again and squeezing till you shuddered in his hold. Your own touch flew back to grab at the back of his head, holding on.

“To be dirty for you.”

He hissed when your cunt fluttered again, squeezing and sucking him back in, like you never wanted him to leave. “Fuck you are, you would get down right now and suck my cock, or bend over this desk wouldn’t you? All with the office camera rolling for a video.”

Your head nodded, tilting back with parted lips crying his name out louder than you should have. His hand at your chest slapped over your lips, muffling your cries. “My pretty little whore, we gotta be quiet.”

You didn't care, the alcohol buzzing in your system, sneaking off with Curtis and him talking like this to you was making you stupid with pleasure. Your pants were rushed, the slap of your body against his and the creak of the leather was just adding to it all. The small office felt heated, now smelled of sex, and you couldn't stop giggling behind his palm. “You gonna come for me, soak this cock?”

A firm nod had you grabbing at his hand still wrapped at your waist, shoving it between your thighs with a moaning yes when his fingertips pressed against your clit. A deep laugh, knowing that you needed to have that touch in order to get yourself off. “Come on Pretty Girl.” He grunted in your ear, the twirl of his fingers and the rub he was giving your clit making your heart race, the tension just before coming building, swiftly now. Like you were about to crash. “Someone is gonna come looking for us, and see you spread all out on this chair with my cock buried deep in this weeping cunt. You don’t want that do you?” The snap of his teeth signaling just how close Curtis was.

No? Maybe? You knew it gave you a rush, which just added to the moment. “Curtis!” His name falling from you like a prayer muffled behind his palm, ready to crash into shattered oblivious pieces, falling apart in his lap where he yanked you back, the slap of his hips underneath you had his cock pushing into your squelching cunt while chasing for his own orgasm now that you came.

Yours left you floating, giving yourself over to him to use you however he wanted while you just let yourself continue enjoying the buzz of sex and alcohol.

“Fuck, FUCK!” Curtis’s muffled roar was against your shoulder, biting onto you with a grunt as he pulled you hard onto him one last time, warmth making you clench on him again, rocking your hips slightly with a satisfied moan of your own. Your head tilted into his, both of you panting heavily to catch your breaths when his hand dropped from your mouth and rested against your heaving chest, his palm flattening against the racing of your heart.

“We should sneak in here more often.” You snickered while pushing up to sit, Curtis sliding his hands around your waist and following up to hug you from behind, letting his face press against your shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I know where Paulie hides his office keys for when he starts locking the door.” He muttered, pressing kisses across the top of your back to the other shoulder. “Move that mouse, see where he is.”

You leaned forward to shove the mouse enough to take off the old school screensaver, peering at the grainy screen. "Still at the bar, busy too. Looks like Saint Patrick's Day really is his Christmas.”

“Good…” Curtis gave a push to have the chair roll back away from the desk a bit. “Turn around so I can hold you proper for a few minutes before we go back out there.”

“Does he really have cameras in here Curtis?” Your eyes bounced around, searching. You certainly didn’t want Paulie seeing this on video.

“No Honey, I helped him set them up and he just has one facing the door, not inside.” His lips pressed against your shoulder and then helped you to stand, your legs a bit wobbly and twist around to sit back in his lap, the leather chair giving a groan once more, making you break out in a giggle.

Nothing was gonna ruin your mood tonight, not even knowing the chances you were gonna have a hangover could kill the high you were feeling right now. His arms wrapped back around you, palms brushing up and down your back while you tucked yourself in against his chest, silence filling the room. “You know I am really looking forward to tomorrow.” You tucked your face on his shoulder, letting your hand rest against his chest, playing with his chain, your fingers twisting in it.

“Mmhh, is it the fact you are making a fort on the living room floor with Ella and Edgar to watch Leprechaun? Or the hangover cure I’m supposed to make you guys?”

“Both.” You lifted your head, finding his lips with yours and giving him a slow affectionate kiss. “I love you very much. For much more than you making me feel really good in Paulie’s office, which he is gonna be pissed about.” You were sure to point out as his grin grew, his arms tightening just a little more to keep you in close to him. “Although I do feel really really good, and that's only a little bit from the jameson.” You rambled on and Curtis couldn’t help his reaction, his head tipping back and a deep chested booming laughter sounded, making you feel so happy to see him happy.

Maybe you were more than buzzed.

“I'm glad that it's seventy five percent me, twenty five percent whiskey?” Curtis ventured a guess, catching your chin in his forefinger and thumb to tilt your mouth back to his.

“More than that, like ninety-ten.” You mumbled against his lips, the two of you teasing each other with soft playful pecks. “But i'm definitely drunk now.”

“Mmh, I can tell Honey.” His answer was softer now, sighing against your lips. “I love you for giving me these moments in life.” His touch lingered on your face, cupping your cheek and this kiss was moved from your mouth up to your forehead, giving you a whole other satisfying sensation, one that curled into your heart. His gaze fell back to the computer screen with a soft shit under his breath. “Incoming Honey.”

Right behind you was a pound on the door. “You two better not be fucking in my office!”

You squealed, hiding against Curtis as if Paulie was gonna come barging in, which he wasn’t, he knew better. “Busted.” You loudly whispered while Curtis muffled his laughter once again.

“Give us five minutes…. TEN!” Curtis shouted, watching the camera to see Paulie storming back towards the bar, sputtering.

“I need to bake him some cookies to apologize.” You said solemnly as you too watched the camera’s with a twist of your head looking over your shoulder.

“You do that Honey so I can taste test them.” He gripped your chin to turn you back to look at him. “Kiss me Honey? I’m-”

You didn’t let him finish, your lips pressing to his, cutting off the last of his words.

#life is short so make it sweet #Curtis and honey #Curtis Everett and Reader #Curtis Everett and You #Curtis Everett and Plus Sized Reader #Curtis Everett Fanfiction #Curtis Everett Smut #Curtis Everett x You #Curtis Everett x Reader #Curtis Everett x Plus Sized Reader #Chris Evans Characters #amber writes #sweater writes #snowpiercer fanfiction

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rebelliousstories · 5 months

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Egg Nog

25 Days of Ficmas

Relationship: Paul x Reader

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Request: No

Warnings: Fluff, Brief Strong Language, Non Descriptive Mention of Vomiting

Word Count: 1,173

Masterlist: Here

Summary: Someone really should have told Paul not to drink an entire thing of egg nog before deciding if he liked it or not.

“Why would you force me to do this?”

“I did not force you to do anything. You, on the other hand, told me you were a grown vampire and could do what you wanted when I told you to stop.”

“Not how I remember it.”

We may need to back up just a little bit.

What do you think of when you think Christmas treats? Candy canes? Sugar plums? Cranberries? Hot cocoa? What about egg nog?

It was Christmas time in Santa Carla, and the cave was decked out in holiday cheer. Everyone was enjoying the good times, and fun activities, even David. But that may have been partially due to the fact that they found him a black Santa hat to wear. Dwayne was helping Star put some last minute decorations on the tree, while Marko was decorating the rest of the cave and periodically gave his input on the main fixture. Laddie sat with her as they finished icing cookies to leave out for Santa soon, and Paul was… somewhere. Honestly, no one bothered keeping track of him anymore as they would have different answers every five minutes.

Everyone was having a great time, when Paul came bursting into the cave from above. His hair was wild, grin stretched ear to ear, and he held something in his hands. When he landed, he giggled and yelled as his excited energy got out of his body, only to be replenished by some unseen source.

“Oh boy! Babe, you’ve been hiding this away from me!” Paul yelled, getting closer to his girlfriend. She was now very confused and paused er decorations of the cookies to stare at her vampire lover with a quirked eyebrow.

“What are you talking about, Paulie?” He said nothing, but raised his hands high to show what was in them.

“Egg nog? That’s what this is about?” Her tone shifted as she shook her head at her lover’s antics. She returned to making the cookies with Laddie, who happily joined her, but the rest of the cave stared at the lion haired boy.

“Yeah! You never told me about this. You ever had it?” Paul bounced over to her and sat at her feet. She spared him no glance as they continued this strange conversation.

“Yes, I have, Paul. I don’t particularly care for it. It’s a very specific flavor.” This did nothing to deter the vampire on the floor, still clutching the jug of egg nog, only fuel him.

“More for me then.” He cracked it open, and went to chug it when her hand reached out and stopped him.

“Try a sip of it first to see if you like it, please. Better to do that then take a large swig.” She offered, looking her lover in the eye to try and get him to understand.

“Relax, girl. I’m a grown vampire, alright? I’ll be fine.” That was all he said before he pushed his girlfriend’s hand away, and chugged the bottle in his hands. She watched with an amused expression, as everyone else had stopped what they were doing to watch the vampire. Paul just kept going, and consumed the bottle in his hands. But amusement soon turned to horror as he finished the bottle. Paul was happy, for all of about five seconds, but then got an awful look on his face and rubbed his stomach. He did not feel terrible yet, but that would be soon changed. Everyone just watched as within a minute, Paul found himself deeply regretting the actions that led him to this point. His face scrunched up, and within that moment, he flew up and out of the cave towards the outside. When he was gone, David piped up.

“Well, I guess he found out how much he liked egg nog.” Everyone chuckled, and she walked after her lover. Climbing out of the cave, she saw his wild hair near the water, bent over with his hands on his knees. He was coughing, and spitting over the ocean, and just genuinely did not look good. She came up upon him, and rubbed between his shoulder blades, before taking a spare scrunchie, and pulling his hair up and out of the way, just in case.

“Why would you force me to do this?” He groaned out, barely glancing up at his lover before turning back to face the ocean below him.

“I did not force you to do anything. You, on the other hand, told me you were a grown vampire and could do what you wanted when I told you to stop.” She commented, continuing to rub soothing circles into his back.

“Not how I remember it.” She giggled as he tried to cough up whatever was stuck in his throat before he gave up and just sat there for a minute more.

“Oh? And how do you remember it, Paulie?” Now, the vampire had stood back up, but quickly sat down out of the way of the water to recover more.

“You held me down and forced me to drink that entire jug. I had to do it, otherwise you’d hurt my husband and children.” Paul’s voice was rough, and slightly dazed.

“Oh, your husband and children. Right, I totally threatened them.” She brushed the remaining hairs from his face; she continued to support him through the recovery.

“Yeah. My husband and children. Which, honestly, the fact that you would go so far as to threaten the children. That’s low. But I did it anyways. Cause I’m a devoted wife and mother.” His mini monologue was cut short by his lover bursting out into laughter. Paul cut his eyes over at her and could not help the smile that came across his face.

“Hey! Don’t laugh. I’m the best damn wife and mother that ever wifed and mothered.” This did nothing but spur her further into her laughing fit, which eventually pulled Paul into it as well. But that was all cut short when he tried to kiss her to make her stop. However, a hand denied him a kiss, to which he pouted about.

“Sorry, lover boy. No kisses till you brush your teeth. I love you, but that’s a hard no from me.” Begrudgingly, Paul got up, and picked up his lover to fly them back down into the cave. Everything was right back to being in full swing when they got back down, and they made their way into her nest where a bottle of water, toothbrush, and toothpaste awaited the male vampire. He pouted the entire time he was forced to brush his teeth, but was made happy when he could finally get his kiss.

Making their way back into the main part of the cave, Paul hissed and scurried away from the now empty container of egg nog. His lover laughed and they went back to do what they were doing previously. It was safe to say that he would not be drinking the concoction at any point soon. Paul had thoroughly traumatized himself.

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guitars-and-kaleidoscope-eyes · 5 months

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Anonymous request:

hey there! I absolutely adore all of your work and thought I would submit a fic request!

I thought it would be super cute if the other beatles tickled paul to either wake him up (I know that George actually did that in real life!) or to cheer him up, whichever you prefer!

Thank you so much! Hope you're enjoying the holidays! <3 :)

Lee: Paul

Ler: George, John, and Ringo

Wakeup, Paul!

1963

The Beatles had just finished recording Please Please Me and it had become a huge success. Copies were selling like mad and the Beatles had started their first tour through England. It wasn't huge, but compared to playing in dirty bars in Hamburg, this was luxury.

Brian had given his usual knock on the hotel room door, letting them know they had thirty minutes before having to be outside in the van. George had already been awake, adrenaline pumping through his veins. John and Ringo took their morning routine much slower, still groggy from the previous performance. And then their was Paul... still fast asleep.

John was in the loo, cursing at his hair, that he couldn't seem to tame. He peeked out to take a look at Paul who was still asleep with his cheek pressed against the pillow.

John sighed and walked over to him. "Ey Paul, time to get up now." But their was no response, so John tried a bit louder.

"Paul, you git! Wakeup!"

Nothing.

"PAUL!"

"Is he still not up?" Ringo, who was packing the last of his suitcase, asked.

"No, he's not." John sighed. Just then, George entered the room.

"Eppy wants up down in twenty minutes." George said.

"Well he ain't getting nothing if we can't wake Paul." Ringo said.

"He's still not awake?" George asked, walking over to where John stood by Paul.

"No. I swear, he'd sleep through a hurricane." John said.

"Ya know, there is something I used to do to Paul. When we would go hitchhiking in Wales and I couldn't get him up." George said with a grin.

"What is it?" Ringo asked, joining the others.

Paul's toes were sticking out from under the sheets. George carefully pulled them so that Paul's whole foot was exposed. George gently dragged a finger over Paul's foot, then moved on to wiggling his fingers over his whole foot. Paul giggled in his sleep and twitched his foot. John and Ringo looked at George with amused faces.

"Bet you never knew our little Paulie was ticklish!" George grinned. "I found out when we were younger. So what do you say lads, should we get to work?"

John and Ringo grinned evilly at each other and each choose a place. George sticking with one of Paul's feet, John with his stomach, and Ringo with Paul's other foot.

John gently picked up the blanket and up it aside, then moved up Paul's pajama shirt, so that his tummy was fully exposed.

They started off slowly, just gently wiggling their fingers over the sensitive skin, then moved on to wiggling their fingers a bit harder over Paul's feet and tummy.

John began tickling Paul all over his belly while Ringo opted to hold down both of Paul's feet as George continued to tickle them. After another minute of tickling Paul, his eyes finally bolted open.

"Ay, has our little Paulie finally been awoken from his beauty sleep?" John asked with a smirk.

"Sod off, ya daft git!" Paul said, pulling his shirt down and tugging his feet out of Ringo and George's grip. "What in hell were you doing?"

"Well you were the only one still asleep and none of us could get you up." John said cheekily. "That is until George told us a secret about you."

Paul looked at George angrily while George tried his hardest not to smirk. With Paul's baby face, he looked like an angry bunny.

"You never mentioned to us that our little Paulie is ticklish!" John said in one of his silly voices.

As much as Paul was angry, he couldn't help but giggle a bit at John.

"Common. Eppy wants us down in fifteen minutes." Ringo said, getting off the bed to get the last of his things. George got off the bed along with him while John stayed with Paul.

"Just so you know," John whispered into Paul's ear, "I'm expecting more of this in the near future!"

John quickly tickled Paul's belly before jumping off the bed from where he was sitting. Let's just say, the hotel room later that night was filled with laughter from both Paul and John.

#rock music #the beatles #fanfiction #john paul george and ringo #paul mccartney #john lennon #ringo starr #request #george harrison #fanfic #tickle content #tickle scenarios #tickle fluff #tickle fic #tickle

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gucciwins · 3 years

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stay, please

it's not the easiest day, but harry helps

Word count: 3669

A/N: hello friends, this chapter is short and sweet. it's when there are two back to back shows in the same cities that the chapters seems to be long. also i promise the smut will be back, but please remember that is not what this entire story is about. i'm enjoying seeing bel and harry's relationship flourish and i hope you are as well.

please remember to reblog and let me know what you thought

warnings: slight angst (talk of missing family members), fluff

love on tour series // previous part

Sunrise, Florida

Since your conversation with Harry last night, you've been feeling melancholy. There's not a day that goes by where you don't think about your parents or grandparents.

Harry's family is a phone call away or plane ride, but you have to wait until they visit you in a dream that isn't as often as it used to be.

You're aware it's irrational to be jealous of Harry having his family, but it hits you sometimes how alone you are. Then you stop and remind yourself how you aren't. Viola has become a guardian in your life that you look up to, that helps you learn the life sessions your family never got the chance to teach you. Naomi loves you like a sister, and her parents have always welcomed you with open arms into their family. You haven't spent a holiday alone thanks to them, and that might be one of the reasons you always try to take them somewhere new to celebrate. You're thankful they let you; they know you only have good intentions.

Which is why this heavy feeling of sorrow you're holding, you allow yourself to feel it because you know it'll pass. That does not mean you'll be speaking with Harry or anyone else about it. No, he's got more things to worry about, and like always, you know you'll get through this.

You're sitting in the band's dressing room as Pauli tells a story about how he once saw an alligator on the side of the road. Everyone was hanging on to his every word as were you at least you were until the topic shifted to his family calling his bluff as he was the only one to see it on the road.

Everything seems to go back to family today. Kodi talks about missing his kids, Sandra talks about visiting her grandparents in North Carolina, and Jeff tells you that he's missing Glenne now that she's gone back to work.

You excuse yourself needing a minute to yourself, but everywhere you look, someone is smiling at you, and any other day you'd start a conversation, but you feel the walls closing around you.

Your breathing is getting heavier, and you're at this point trying to find Harry's dressing room, needing his comfort even if he may not be in there, but everything looks the same, and you feel your eyes blur.

Fuck, this was awful.

You didn't want to be alone, yet here you were.

You kept walking, head down, hoping you'd get to where you needed to when you felt someone bump into you. It was unexpected, so you fell right back. It wasn't that the fall hurt, no it was just unexpected, and it seemed to open the floodgate you were keeping at bay.

"Hey, hey, Bel. You hurt? What's wrong?" The voice was panicky, his accent coming out thicker as he spoke quicker than average. "Bel, you got to answer me. You're worrying me."

Your tears settled a bit as you looked up to meet Harry's gaze, his eyes wide full of concern that he had hurt you.

"I'm fine." your voice low as you wipe your tears away.

"But you're crying. What hurts?"

My heart, you wanted to respond. "Nothing, the fall startled me."

You're defensive, and you have no idea why this isn't his fault. It's not his fault your emotions got the best of you today.

"So you're not hurt," his voice soft, but you can still hear a bit of the panic.

"Fine, H." He helps you stand up, thankful that you let him help you.

"Do you--do you want to talk about it then?"

You frown, shaking your no. "Okay, what do you need?"

"Quiet." Your voice is hoarse thanks to the tears, and you keep sniffing. You know you're a mess.

"Come on then." You stare at his stretched-out hand, "trust me, Bel?" Harry asks.

You find yourself nodding, letting him intertwine his fingers with yours. He's taking turns, not one person in your way. It's empty and a bit worrying. Soon, Harry finds a door and swings it open. The bright sun has you closing your eyes for a second, letting you adjust to bright light.

It's a view of endless grass and trees. There is a bench to the side surrounded by flowers, a nice breeze flowing instantly, letting you relax taking it in.

You drop Harry's hand and move towards the bench. You sit down and close your eyes, taking in the moment, taking the quietness of this moment. Your head is no longer spinning, your hurt has lessened, maybe a cry is what you were missing.

"You okay here? Come find me later, okay." Harry tells you from his spot by the door.

You turn your head quickly, "You're leaving? No, stay, please."

Harry's smile is small, "think you need this moment alone."

"Don't want to be alone anymore." You whisper, hoping it's enough to make him stay.

You're not sure what he's thinking, but something passes through him, sympathy maybe, but he nods and sits next to you on the bench. You scoot close, your thighs touching. It's comforting having him here; there's a reason you were searching for him earlier because he makes you feel safe. Now sitting with him, there's no worry or hurt, only understanding.

Harry lets you lean your head on his shoulder as you play with his ringed hand that's resting on his lap. There's something attractive about his hands that you can't get over, but even that is not enough to distract you from the looming conversation.

He's good at giving you space to open up and know you're in no rush. You're trying to understand what you feel so that he can try to understand. Harry startles you when he raises your hand up to his lips, giving you a gentle kiss before settling it back down. You stare down at your hand and frown because a simple gesture fills you with so much happiness.

"I--I well, I haven't had a good day." He hums, letting you know it's okay to go on. "Grief isn't this linear healing; it hits you sometimes out of nowhere, and for me, if I don't let myself feel it, then I feel like I'm going to explode. Gosh, I didn't want to bring it up because you confided in me about missing your family, and I felt like you'd think I was belittling your problems with mine, and I'd hate for you to feel like because of me."

"Bel--"

"-no, H. I know you wouldn't, but I couldn't bring it up. But it's like everyone was missing their family today, and fuck, I miss mine as well, but I'm reminded I'm alone, and it sucks." You don't dare look at him, instead close your eyes and let your tears flow once more.

"Shh...I got you, Bel. I got you; you aren't alone." He whispers into your hair, pulling you in close, wanting to take all your pain away.

"I know I'm not alone, but sometimes I am. Sometimes, I'm away from those who feel like family for a long time, and when I am home, I'm due to leave soon. I love my job and all I get to do, but it's constant facetime calls and texts." You lean away from him, needing him to understand. "It's going to be the same for you, but you'll have a choice, the choice to stay or walk away because it's easier."

"Darling, I'm not going anywhere."

"Not now, maybe." You mutter.

He places his hands to the side of your face so that you're looking at him. His eyes are sad, and you know all of this is hurting him as much as you. "I'm going to fight for you every day. I'm going to fight even when you don't want me to. I promise I've never felt this much for someone in my life. So what it's been two weeks, you've changed my life, and I'll do everything to keep you in it. I'll fly out to you at the drop of a hat wherever you are in the world if you need me. I need you to know I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You hear me?"

You nod your head slowly, your tears still trickling down as you let all his words surround your heart. "I hear you."

He grins, "good."

Harry wipes your tears away with his thumb, "you're a pretty crier; no wonder you're so good on the big screen."

That comment was so random it makes you laugh, and Harry gladly joins you.

"You're a dork."

"Maybe," he shrugs. "Kissy?

You nod, and he's quick to slot your lips together. It tastes salty due to your tears, but you don't mind, and it seems neither does Harry.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, good talking about it. Thank you."

"No need to thank me."

"Can we stay here a little longer?" You ask just as his phone rings. That answer is enough for you. They are looking for the missing rockstar.

Harry sighs dramatically, wanting you to laugh again, and you do, playing the part of a drama queen very well.

"Yes, Jeff? Oh," Harry looks over at you, "yes, we're together. Alright, mate. Give me ten."

"You're needed?" You guess, standing up and brushing dirt off your jeans.

"Nope, but you are?"

You furrow your eyebrows at him, "how come?"

"Claims he needs his assistants' help."

You snicker, "he's not needed my help since the first night. Told me, yes, I'll put you to work, then proceeded to never need my help."

"Well, it seems like today is your lucky day."

You roll your eyes at him because the one day you felt terrible is when you were needed, "let's go then."

"Nuh-uh, scored us ten minutes." He places his hands on your waist, plopping you down on his lap. "Now, close your eyes and relax with me."

And you do; you take slow, deep inhales, holding it a few seconds, then exhale. It feels good. You welcome each thought and let each one go as you exhale. You learned the breathing technique during high school, and it's always helped you. It also might have to be due to the arms holding you tight around your waist.

The familiar iPhone ringer buzzes out, and you and Harry groan in unison at having to leave this perfect moment.

"Alright, let's get you to Jeff, and I'll go change."

"Thank you, Harry." You whisper, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as he raises you out of his lap.

"Anything for you, love."

It turns out Jeff wanted to go over how long you'd be on tour. And the truth is you didn't know. There were scripts you've been handed that had potential, but you wanted something that spoke to you, and so far, nothing. Viola had told you, you were in high demand and not to accept any job just to do it, and that's what you were doing.

"Can I say expect me here for a while? I've got nothing lined up, I've got scripts to read before I can decide my next role, and joining a tour was not at all in my plans, but I'm enjoying it."

Jeff laughs, nodding, "that boy is just a little crazy sometimes."

"I've caught on."

"We love having you here, just wanted to check in. We are nearing the halfway point."

"I'm aware. You feel like it went by fast?"

"Extremely, we started in September and now are in October." Jeff shakes his head in disbelief.

"Miss Belmonte, Mr. Styles is looking for you," a young person approaches you, he doesn't look familiar, and by the uniform he's wearing, he works with the venue.

"Thank you, I'll see you in our spot Jeff."

"Don't keep him too long." You shoot him a thumbs up, walking away with the worker.

He's fidgeting, looking down at his feet, "are okay?"

His head snaps up, "me?"

You nod, offering him a small smile, "Yeah, what's your name?"

"James."

"Nice to meet you James, you can call me Y/N."

He shakes his head quickly, "not professional, Miss Belmonte."

You respect that he keeps it professional. "Okay, I respect that. Have you worked here for a long?"

"Three weeks."

"Wow, how have you liked it so far?"

"It's great. The staff is always helpful."

"Yes, I've seen that." You arrive at Harry's closed door. "Thank you for walking me."

He smiles at you, looking a bit calmer, "of course, it was my pleasure."

You stick your hand out for him to shake, "take care, James."

"You as well, Miss Belmonte." Then he's turning around and rushing down the hall.

Raising your fist, you knock twice on the door before walking in with eyes closed and shutting the door behind you knowing the drill already.

"Awe, baby, didn't even need to tell you."

You chuckle, "know you well."

Harry goes silent, and you freeze, not sure what he's doing when he surprises you by laying a kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to shoot wide open.

"Got you," he smirks.

You roll your eyes before making him take a step back to let you admire his outfit for the night. Sunrise would see Harry in a red floral print shirt, white wide-leg trousers, of course, the matching suspenders, and his black leather boots.

"You look good enough to eat, Styles."

Harry beams a smile at you, fixing his suspenders. "Do I?"

You nod, "yup."

"Care to have a taste?"

"Sweet offer, but I've got to decline."

Harry pouts, "baby,"

"You're on stage soon. Can't be making a mess of you in this pretty outfit."

Harry's blush is apparent as he tackles you in a hug, landing you both on the couch. He's lying on top of you, and it's not the most uncomfortable feeling. Although he does feel a little heavy, you embrace it. His head is resting on your chest, your hands running down his back soothingly.

He's mumbling something under his breath, but you're too lost in the moment to try to figure it out. You honestly don't want Harry to go. You're enjoying this moment, and if you could, you'd freeze time at this moment.

You both relax and let yourself forget that he has to go on stage to perform for thousands, and in this room are just Y/N and Harry, two people dating and, day by day, falling more for each other.

"Do you need to get ready, love? Almost time to go." He mumbles, pressing a kiss to the bunny on your sweater.

"Not today; going to stay like this wearing my boyfriend's merch."

Harry buries his head in his neck, leaving kiss after kiss, "like when you say that."

"Yeah, like calling you my boyfriend, my rockstar boyfriend who's going to go sing to a sold-out arena."

"Every song is dedicated to you." He whispers against your skin.

You feel the heat rush to your face, the room suddenly feeling too warm, "amor, basta."

"Basta," he repeats, "never."

He's a giggling mess as you begin tickling his side; he's squirming on top of you, begging you to stop when the door swings open, causing you both to freeze.

"Are you naked?" Tommy asks, eyes closed.

"Yes" "No," Harry and you answer at the same time. Tommy removes his hand, trusting your word sighing in relief he didn't walk in on anything.

"This is why we knock." Harry shakes his head as he gets up to fix his shirt that you managed to untuck.

Tommy ignores him, "you're needed in your box."

"Fun." You giggle because it's a sight to behold seeing him get settled in his box to get under the stage.

Harry follows behind Tommy without another word leaving you in the dressing room, shocked. You stand up in a hurry to see if he's making his way back when he continues on speaking with Tommy. You follow close behind, wondering if Harry will turn around to ask you for his good luck kiss he's been doing the past few shows.

You reach the end of the corridor, and still nothing. He's settling in the box and nothing. Just as they are about to shut it, he jumps, hitting his head, muttering a shit shifting out. Harry is not listening to anyone around him; as he's about to run down the hall, he spots you there leaning against a wall staring.

"Why'd you hit your head?"

There's a pout on his face as he approaches you, settling his hands on your waist. "Know why," he nudges his nose against yours.

"Need you to say it."

"Forgot to get my good luck kiss."

"Imagine how worse it could have been."

"Don't want to know." He mutters against your lips, and like always, he takes your breath away. You eagerly kiss back; the kiss is fast. Harry bites your bottom lip as he pulls back, both remembering there are others around you. They all are awkwardly looking around to not make eye contact with either of you.

“Good luck, mi estrella.”

You say it every night, but Harry leaves you impressed. It's the same set of songs each night, yet it feels like a new show each time.

These songs are performed in a way that hearing the album version is no longer that, very much preferring to listen to the live performance for as long as you'll have it.

Tonight, 'cherry' has grabbed you the heart as Harry sings it with the proudest smile on his face. On more than one occasion, you feel him stare at you, causing you to sing even louder, pointing at him. These songs are personal to him, and he comes on stage each night and shares a bit of himself with the audience. That's something to admire; you don't think you'd ever be able to be that vulnerable.

Your job is not easy; at times, it is draining and long hours, but putting a piece of your heart for the world to see and judge is frightening. Harry was born to do this, and you're glad he saw something in you to want you to be a part of it.

You know you're not the only one to have had his heart, but you hope you're the last.

"Are you okay? He's had his eye on you the whole night." Jeff leans in as Harry has gone downstage, and you wipe your tears from hearing his closing song before the encore.

"Had a bit of a hard day." You share, not offering more.

"But you're okay."

"I am," you nod your head towards the stage. "He helped."

Jeff pulls you in for a hug before stepping back to give you your space, except you pull him back over. "Thank you, I know he'll ask you. I am better. I'm not sure how much you know about me, but I miss my family and was feeling alone, and Harry reminded me that I've got all of you now."

You see how Jeff's eyes glass over, and he pulls you in for another hug, except this time you don't let him go. He holds you through the entirety of 'sign of the times.'

"You're special, Bel." He mutters, clearing his throat.

"You too, Jeff."

Tommy ends your moment having you dance with him to 'watermelon sugar.' You could not stop laughing at their moves, not at all good. You try some of your own, but stop when you spot a group of bananas forming a mosh pit. That is clearly something you thought you'd never see, yet here you are.

In an environment where you're meant to be nothing but your whole authentic self, you've never felt happier.

"Who's excited for a day off in Tampa?" Harry cheers as you make your way down the hallway after everyone grabbed a shower and are all packed for the next city. Everyone lets out a cheer at the prospect of sleeping in instead of being up preparing for the show.

"I am," Pauli says, rushing up from behind, pulling Harry into a hug, thanking him for another fantastic show. Then he's off in a hurry to catch up with Niji, who was already exiting the building.

"Think Mitch will let us babysit the bub tomorrow?" He ponders, knowing it's been a while for you all.

You grin at the thought, "I'm sure you'd be able to convince him."

"Good, good. Need some cuddles."

You scoff, "Harry, how rude! Are you saying my cuddles aren't enough?"

Harry sees where he made a mistake and quickly begins to apologize when he sees you failing to hold back a laugh, "you're mean, Bel."

You poke him in the chest, "then don't diss my cuddles."

"Never again."

"Can we watch a movie tonight?"

"Sure, not sleepy tonight?" He checks in.

"Nope."

Harry shakes his head at you, "what if I'm tired?"

"I'll stay in the living room area, you sleep in your bed, and I'll sneak in when I am tired."

Harry pouts, not liking the idea of falling asleep without you in his arms. "What we watching?"

"Hulu has all of the Hunger Games available. I've been meaning to watch it again. Oh," you shout, tapping on his arm repeatedly, "Edward Scissorhands. That's what we're watching in honor of this lovely month."

"Looks like it's been decided."

Standing outside the bus, you see everyone loading up, saying their goodbyes until the next city. You see how much everyone cares for each other, how there are lots of hugs and shouts to text me. Everyone who walks by you sends you and Harry a smile. Not lingering around long as you all know, you have a long ride ahead.

Looking around, it seems that this family Harry had created was becoming yours as well.

thank you so much for reading <333 i adore you

feedback is welcomed and appreciated :)

taglist: @alienorknight @harry-is-my-sunflower @myfavfanficsever @4hazza @springholland @michelleficrecs @harryismyfwend @evanjh

tampa part seven

#harry styles #love on tour #harry styles writing #harry styles stories #harry styles series #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles love on tour #lot: sunrise #hslot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fiction

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tooweirdforyou · 4 years

Text

Masterlist Two 📜

Hello! Thank you for reading! 🤍

Requests Status : Closed For Now -

Take a look at the rules to know what kind of writing I do before you request! :)

PLEASE BE SPECIFIC ON REQUESTS!

Like I said, I am just starting out, so things might get unposted, chaotic and/or slow and messy soo… thanks for understanding!

Key : 𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗇𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗈𝗌 / 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 [☕︎] , 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌 [⚖︎] , 𝗇𝗌𝖿𝗐 [♥︎]

Portgas D. Ace :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

How ASL Brothers Cuddles + Kisses You [⚖︎]

With An Artistic! S/O [⚖︎]

With A Quiet! Daydreaming! S/O [⚖︎]

Reacting to Fem! S/O’s Mean Ex [☕︎]

With A S/O With An Eating Disorder [☕︎]

Home » With Ace

Bellamy :

Reacting to A Fem! Crewmate Who Exposes Her Skin

Sir Crocodile :

Holiday Prompt #11 [☕︎]

With An Optimistic! S/O [⚖︎]

Reacting to S/O’s Mean Ex

Izo :

Shot » With Izo

Charlotte Katakuri :

Sharing His Donuts With A Fem! S/O! [☕︎]

Reacting to A S/O In A Onesie

Eustass Kid :

Holiday Prompt #17 - Naughty List [♥︎]

S/O Randomly Kissing Their Hand [☕︎]

Making A Toy For His S/O [♥︎]

Reacting to A Fem! Crewmate Who Exposes Her Skin

Killer :

Holiday Prompt #17 - Naughty List [♥︎]

Giving Killer Your Mask In Wano [☕︎]

Reacting to A Fem! Crewmate Who Exposes Her Skin

Trafalgar D. Water Law :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

With A S/O Who Gives Him Daily Head - [♥︎]

Law With A Teasing S/O (fluff) - Feat. Chopper! [☕︎]

Reacting to A Random Hug of Joy From Fem! S/O [☕︎]

With A Clumsy! S/O [☕︎]

S/O Randomly Kissing Their Hand [☕︎]

With An Affectionate! Shy! S/O - [⚖︎]

Comforting Law After Dressrosa [☕︎]

With An Artistic! S/O [⚖︎]

With A Quiet! Daydreaming! S/O [⚖︎]

Reacting To A S/O In A Onesie [☕︎]

A Late Night With Law [☕︎]

Mink! Law With A S/O That Tries To Make Him Purr

Reacting to S/O’s Mean Ex

Reacting To An Insecure! S/O

Rob Lucci :

With An Optimistic! S/O [⚖︎]

Touch-Starved Lucci

Monkey D. Luffy :

Holiday Prompt #16 [☕︎]

With A Mature! S/O - Roles Reversed! [☕︎]

How ASL Brothers Cuddles + Kisses You [⚖︎]

Luffy As A Father [☕︎]

With A S/O With An Eating Disorder [☕︎]

With A Male! S/O

Reacting To An Insecure! S/O

The Phoenix, Marco :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

In A Domestic Relationship [☕︎]

Reacting to A S/O In A Onesie [☕︎]

Dracule “Hawkeye” Mihawk :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

Holiday Prompt #9 [☕︎]

Reacting to Fem! S/O’s Mean Ex [☕︎]

With A Masculine! Daughter & A Rough Relationship

Cat Burglar Nami :

With A Shy! Plus Size! S/O [⚖︎]

Nami As A Mother

Shipwright Paulie :

Reacting to A Fem! Crewmate Who Exposes Her Skin

Nico Robin :

With A Shy! Plus Size! S/O [⚖︎]

Robin As A Mother

Corazon / Donquixote Rosinante :

Holiday Prompt #17 - Naughty List [♥︎]

With A Clumsy! S/O [☕︎]

Chief Of Staff Sabo :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

Giving His S/O A Random Hug - [♥︎]

How ASL Brothers Cuddles + Kisses You [⚖︎]

With An Artistic! S/O [⚖︎]

With A Quiet! Daydreaming! S/O [⚖︎]

The Flat Tire » With Sabo

Vinsmoke Sanji :

Prompt #1 + #12 [☕︎]

With A Quiet! Daydreaming! S/O [⚖︎]

Reacting to A S/O In A Onesie [☕︎]

With A S/O With An Eating Disorder [☕︎]

With A Male! S/O

Meeting A Flirty! S/O

Reacting To An Insecure! S/O

Red-Haired Shanks :

Having An Old S/O From The Past

Prompt #29

Reacting to S/O’s Mean Ex

White Chase Smoker :

With An Optimistic! S/O [⚖︎]

God Usopp :

With A Shy! Plus Size! S/O [⚖︎]

With An Artistic! S/O [⚖︎]

Roronoa Zoro :

With A Serious S/O - [⚖︎]

Rejecting A Confession For His Dream [☕︎]

Holiday Prompt #10 - [♥︎]

Being Afraid To Lose Someone [☕︎]

On Night Watch / Sleeping With Zoro [☕︎]

Domestic Bliss Relationship [⚖︎]

Reacting to Fem! S/O’s Mean Ex [☕︎]

Having A Picture Of Him + S/O On His Sword

Intense Training Session [♥︎]

With A Male! S/O

Reacting to A Fem! Crewmate Who Exposes Her Skin

Reacting To An Insecure! S/O

Multi-Chapter Fics

You » Trafalgar Law ↬ Part One | Part Two

Syd’s Top 5s :

Top 5 Favorite OP Males

Top 5 OP Males Easily Scared

Straw Hats :

Where Each Member Would Have A Tattoo [⚖︎]

Teen! Shipmate Who Keeps To Herself [☕︎]

With A Shipmate Who Loses Motivation [ varies ]

#tooweirdforyou #one piece #one piece x reader #op x reader #x reader #sanji x reader #luffy x reader #op #zoro x reader

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robert-de-niro-only-fans · 4 years

Text

The Lesser of Two Evils

Jimmy Conway x Paulie's Daughter Reader

Just felt like writing for Jimmy... Also bc I like @yesbelladoesstuff 's man more than my own apparently 😂😝

TW: mentions of crime, mention of age gap, implied smut

Word Count: 3k

After four long years full of hard work and missing your family, college was finally over! You hadn't gone far for college, and you visited as possible, but the work load of college doesn't always allow for that. For Paulie, it was important that you get a degree, even if you didn't have a "real" job after college; he just knew you were too smart, and you knew it would make him so proud that his little girl finished college.

You moved home on a Thursday after finals and took Friday to just spend time with your dad and the rest of your immediate family, before the rest of your "family" came over for the big party on Saturday. This included Tommy, Henry, and Jimmy and all the various "uncles" your dad did business with. It was a closed circle of people.

You had been home for holidays and summers in between semesters, but towards the end of college, you really started to realize that you weren't in the loop like you used to be. Tommy had really grown into a well-respected mobster, and you respected that they may make him within the next few years. He was still hot headed as ever though. As for Henry, it seemed like he tried to hold off as long as he could, as he had always had a huge crush on you, and everyone, including Paulie, had placed bets on when you two would get together. But he had started going out with this girl named Karen. You had only met her a few times, but you had heard that she kept Henry on the straight and narrow. Good for her.

Jimmy hadn't had too much change in his life during your years at college, except that he had too younger mobsters to help him on his various jobs. He made a lot more money because of them! You never thought when you went to college that you would find yourself missing Jimmy as much as you did; of course, you had always been close with him just like you were with Tommy and Henry, but there was just something about him. He was always very cool, and his jokes were few and far between but hilarious when he told them. He had always been protective over you in a way the other two weren't, you guessed because he was older, but he also let you get away with stuff your dad would've had a heart attack over. Hell, Jimmy encouraged bad behavior.

And that's where you found yourself early Saturday afternoon: fighting off thoughts of Jimmy, and a little nervous to see him because of it.

The table is all set, covered in a black table cloth, with gold and silver decorations everywhere to celebrate your graduation. A few dishes full of your favorite foods are set out, and more will arrive as the family does.

As the family pours in, the table fills with dishes and becomes surrounded by people you've known practically your whole life. You are handed envelopes full of cash, each one thicker than the last. That's how you did presents in this business.

You wondered where the boys were... It's unusual that they didn't show up first.

After a while, Henry arrives with Karen and they greet you with the usual hugs and kisses on the cheek; you can tell Karen is still getting used to greeting people like this. "Glad you have you home, (Y/N)! Congrats!" Henry exclaims. Rather than money, they gift you with a beautiful set of jewelry. You knew Karen was good for Henry, and now you know she has good taste.

"Oooh, there she is!" Jimmy yells as he's coming in the door. Tommy and Jimmy show up right after Henry and Karen. They were likely all hanging out before coming over, but you had to wonder why they didn't just take the same car. Tommy hands you a stack of cash, like he was taught to do, giving you kisses on your cheeks and a sincere congrats for graduating. Before you can really finish up your conversation with Tommy, Jimmy is scooping you up into his arms and twirling you around playfully, earning a squeal from you. "Atta girl! We knew you could do it!" He lets you down gently and pulls you in for a proper hug. "Congratulations, (Y/N). You know everyone here is so proud of you."

As you move back into the dining room and living room to rejoin the party and visit with everyone, Jimmy's hand lingers on you: your shoulder blades, the small of your back, wrapped lightly around your hip. He had always been a bit handsy with you; it's just how you two were with one another, but today it's affecting you more than usual.

Jimmy is wrapped up in a conversation about something he's been bootlegging with one of the uncles, so you turn to him to say, "Hey Jimmy, in gonna go sit with my dad at the table, 'cause I think we're eating soon. I'll save you a seat next to me, if you want it."

"Okay, sweetie, I'll be there in a little while."

You walk away taking a deep breath to try and clear your mind. Had you always felt this way about Jimmy or had something changed?

You say next to your dad and leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Hey there, girlie! You enjoying the party? Everything okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay. It's good seeing everyone again, and knowing that I get to stay home for good this time."

Paulie puts his arms around you, squeezing you tight. He always gave the best hugs! "I'm so happy you're back home. It's been pretty lonely without my girl here... Now I'm gonna have to beat off guys with a stick to keep you here," he lets out a chuckle.

"Oh, Dad, I'm not going anywhere, and you know that. Besides, Henry went and got a girlfriend, so there goes my only shot at a boyfriend."

"Now, you know Henry wasn't your only option. What about Tommy?"

You both look across the room to see Tommy flirting with someone's daughter...

"Ehhh, no," you and your dad say in unison before having a big laugh together.

"Is this seat taken?"

You look over your shoulder to see Jimmy standing behind the chair next to you, "Reserved for you."

"Oh, good!" Jimmy takes a moment to say hello to Paulie before sitting down next to you.

Paulie stands up to announce that it's time to eat, but first he makes a small speech to let everyone know how proud he is of you for finishing college, and that you were always too bright and talented to belong to him.

While Paulie is standing at the head of the table, Jimmy reaches over to your lap under the table and takes your hand in his. You look at him, trying to hide that he's affected you in any way. He gives you a small smirk, and rubs his thumb over yours for just a moment before letting your hand go.

Paulie takes his seat, and people start spooning food out of dishes and into their plates, and you're left wondering what just happened and what was meant by it.

Luckily, the rest of dinner was pretty uneventful, and the food was always so tasty. After everyone got their bellies full, everyone mingled wherever they liked around the house. Some went into the backyard to get a small bonfire going so some of the kids could have roasted marshmallows; some of the guys started inside the house and started pulling out cards and chips and stacks of money; many of the wives gather in the kitchen or the living room to talk all the latest gossip.

You notice Tommy, Jimmy, Henry, and Karen taking lowly and giggling with one another in a small circle. Normally they would've invited you over, so there's definitely something suspicious going on.

"(Y/N)!" Paulie says, waving you over, "come here, kiddo."

"Dad, I just finished college; I'm not really a kid anymore!" You give him a laugh and walk over to him.

He puts an arm over your shoulders and says, "Well, you'll always be my kid." He pauses for a moment before looking across the room and yelling, "Conway!"

The room quiets down, waiting for Jimmy's response. All of the guys and Karen turn to you and your dad. "Yes, Paulie?" Jimmy says with a smug look on his face.

"When you came in here, I didn't see you give my little girl any presents for her graduation. No cash, no cute little boxes with bows. What's the matter with you?" Paulie voice is raised so everyone can hear him. This is very odd behavior, as he normally handles things pretty quietly, so you know something is up.

"Well, ya see, Paulie..." Jimmy starts walking towards you, "I didn't hand her any envelope full of 50s, and I didn't give her any boxes with bows, because what I got for her was too big to fit through the front door." Jimmy lowers his voice to a whisper now that he's in front of you. "You wanna go see your present?"

You now realize that your dad and the guys are all in on some kind of surprise.

"Yes, please."

That's all Jimmy needs to hear before he's picking you up to take you outside. Henry and Tommy rush to the door to open it, and everyone that heard what was going on follows you outside to see what the surprise is.

You and Jimmy can't stop giggling while there are lots of hoots and hollers from everyone gathering outside with you. Jimmy lets you down and spins you around so you're facing the driveway. Sitting there is a beautiful black muscle car with a big gold bow on the hood.

He wraps his arms around your waist and whispers in your ear, "You like it, princess?"

"I- uh... yes," you can barely get a response out; you certainly weren't expecting this. Jimmy was all about handing out money and giving expensive gifts, but nothing like this... He didn't like to do anything that would put this kind of attention on him.

"It's the one you said you wanted right?"

"Yes, Jimmy. It's perfect," you say with a huge smile as you turn to hug him. "Thank you so much!"

"Anything for you, (Y/N)." Jimmy pulls a key out of his pocket and hands it to you. You take it from him and run over to unlock the car and climb in. Immediately, Tommy climbs in the front seat next you you and is shouting, "C'mon! Let's take this thing on a spin!!" Henry and Karen climb in the back seat and Henry only starts egging you on saying, "Let's crank this thing up and get outta here, (Y/N)!"

"Okay, okay! We'll drive it, but only if Jimmy comes too. He paid for the thing after all!"

"Jimmy! Get your ass over here!" Tommy yells before climbing in the back seat with Henry and Karen.

Jimmy runs over and gets in the passenger seat next you you. "Try not to kill us, okay?"

You turn the key in the ignition and the engine fires up loudly, which gets Henry and Tommy rowdy in the back seat. All the people in the front yard were raising their glasses and cheering as you backed out of the driveway! Before driving away from the house, you slowed down and Jimmy rolled down his window so Paulie could pop his head in.

"You guys be careful, and don't let anything happen to that one right there," he says pointing to you.

"Hell, Paulie, she's the one you gotta worry about!" Henry pipes up getting a laugh out of everyone.

"Yeah, well..." he chuckles, knowing it's true and realizing his little girl is all grown up. "Happy graduation, baby; go have fun!"

"Thank you, Dad! Love you!" you yell before driving off, a little too fast.

• • •

After you, the guys, and Karen, whom you had really grown to like, had been driving around a while, you decide to stop off at a small park while the sun sets. It's a cute little public park with a lake, a pavilion with tables for picnics, a small playground for kids (naturally the boys go and play on the playground), and lots of open space with soft grass.

With the boys being boys running around chasing each other, you and Karen get some time to talk alone.

"Seems like you've got Henry tied down pretty well. Takes a tough lady to do that."

"Yeah, well he stood me up on our second date, and so I told him off in front of his friends. We been together since."

"Oh yeah, word got back to me on that one. You had all the guys pretty shocked," you say though a laugh, "They made fun of him a good bit for it, so he must like you a lot if he put up with that."

"Yeah, I think he does." She pauses for a minute. "I've heard from some people that Henry always had a crush on you, and that everyone thought you two would end up together. I'm sorry if I got in the way of that."

"Oh, no! No need to apologize. Henry liked me when we were kids, and it feels like more of a joke now than anything. I don't think I could deal with him as well as you do," you give her a reassuring smile.

"So, you gonna give Jimmy a shot?"

"Hmm? What? You mean Jimmy and me?" You stutter out.

"Yeah, I mean, I know he's older, but it seems like he really likes you!"

"You think Jimmy likes me?"

"Well, yeah girl! He bought you ya dream car!" She says excitedly, her New York accent really shining through.

"Karen!" Henry calls from the playground.

"Whaddayou want?!"

"Come over here, honey!"

You see Jimmy walking towards you and Karen, and notice that Tommy is flirting with some poor girl who was just out for a run. Karen says a quick goodbye to you and heads over to the playground where Henry is waiting for you.

When Jimmy's feet stop in front of yours, he extends a hand to you to help you up from your spot on the grass. He places his hand on the small of your back, and his long fingers delicately begin to lead you in the direction of your new car.

"Did you have a fun time playing with your friends on the playground?" You poke a little fun at him.

"Would've had more fun if you were there," he raises his eyebrows and cracks a smile at you.

You laugh gently out your nose as you arrive at your car, "Whatcha bring me over here for?"

He takes you by the hips, lifting you up and placing you on the trunk of your car. He grabs your thighs and pulls you close to him, your knees brushing against either of his hips. "You like the car, angel?"

"Jimmy, wha-," you let out a shaky breath, "um, yes, it's beautiful."

"Mmmm, good." He brushes your hair behind your ear.

It suddenly becomes clear to you that what Karen had to say about Jimmy was true. In fact, with him standing between your legs like this, it couldn't be more obvious.

"Hey, Jimmy?"

"Yeah, baby doll?"

"Kiss me."

He raises his eyebrows, then looks at the ground for a moment. When he looks back up at you, he tangles a hand in your hair and presses his lips to yours softly at first, but he quickly deepens the kiss, exploring your mouth with his. You gently wrap one arm around his neck, and the other hand squeezes his waist through his shirt. He pulls you into him so your chest is pressed against his.

It feels weird kissing him, but it also feels right. Being with him like this feels like electricity, and you could feel like this forever and it still wouldn't be enough.

"Hey, hey, Jimmy!" Henry calls as him and Karen come up on you.

"Do not interrupt them!" You hear Karen say followed by a whap to Henry's arm.

Jimmy slowly pulls away from you, giving you probably the sweetest look you've ever seen him give. He pecks your lips a few more times before turning to Karen. "Thank you for hitting him."

You slide off the back of the car, putting your hand in Jimmy's.

"Listen, all I'm saying is, it's about time you got a kiss from her, you paid a lot of money for it!" Henry chuckles, slapping the trunk of your car.

"Listen, Henry Hill. I kiss who I want, when I want. And yes, I am grateful for the car, but Jimmy didn't buy my love," you cut your eyes at him.

"Yeah, that's right! What's the matter with you?" Karen backs you up.

Henry puts his hands up in surrender and tries to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face, "Alright, alright, geez!! Can someone go get Tommy so we can go home?"

Everyone gives him a look.

"Okay, fine! I'll go get him!" Henry jogs off to go get Tommy off that girl's back.

Funny enough, the girl ends up coming home with the group, Tommy landing another girl that he won't call in the morning. So you drop everyone off at their respective homes: Tommy and his girl at Tommy's place, Henry and Karen at Henry's place, and Jimmy invited you to his place. You knew Paulie would worry about you not coming home, but it would raise his blood pressure if he knew what you and Jimmy were up to.

It was really the lesser of two evils.

#jimmy conway has my heart ❤️#jimmy conway #jimmy conway x reader #robert de niro #robert de niro x reader #goodfellas #mob wives #sort of #paulie's daughter #paulie #tommy devito #henry hill #karen #moodboard #fanfic

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judehayward · 4 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music....

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight.......

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

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mithranqueersmusings · 4 years

Text

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XXIII

Chapter: 23/28

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Paul had been right that Brian would be awake by the time they got back to the hotel, in fact he'd already left several messages at reception inquiring after them.

"Fuck." John laughed when the receptionist told them.

Ringo began to worry a little but his intoxication far overpowered any negative feeling attempting to arise at that moment, so it was only Paul who took the situation seriously as he hurried up to their room to call Brian. The rest of them followed behind passively, still giggling and falling into each other as they climbed the stairs. It was almost 7 in the morning, and Ringo was boggled at how they'd passed so much time that night and just hoped he hadn't forgotten anything important. While Paul sat with the telephone in the other room, giving the rest of them a glare which warned them to be quiet, George pulled Ringo into their shared bedroom and onto the bed. John was close behind and threw himself down on the second bed, he kept fidgeting about trying to get comfortable before he rolled over onto the next bed and nudged up against George.

"What are you doing?" George mumbled, the tiredness was beginning to sink in, his eyes were closed and he was holding Ringo close to his chest.

"Shh." Was all John said as he tentatively put his arm around George who just grunted in response.

Ringo was beginning to fall into a deep sleep, he barely even noticed John's presence as his mind was completely occupied with the rising and falling of George's chest. After managing to fight off sleep for so long, the feeling was coming back with a vengeance now. It was only Paul's presence in the room that stirred Ringo, as he purposefully spoke loudly to rouse them.

"How sweet." Paul projected, making Ringo shudder in alarm as he opened his eyes "I just got off the phone with Brian."

George began to sir now, opening his eyes just barely "Huh? Can this wait?"

"Oh I'm sorry, feeling tired are we?" Paul laughed, still talking loudly.

"Paulie." John groaned "Just come to bed, we'll deal with it when we wake up."

Paul opened his mouth to speak again, to protest that they had to wake up and listen to him, but then he took in the image of the three of them sloppily cuddled together and decided against it. He kicked off his shoes and discarded his belt on the floor then clambered onto the bed beside John.

"Can we at least get under the covers then?" Paul suggested, tugging at the bed sheets that they were lying on top of.

John nodded sleepily and allowed Paul to pull the covers from under him, stirring George and Ringo who were just awake enough to do the same. The four of them then quickly fell asleep, George and John still fully dressed, as the city began to wake up around them. Despite the fact there were two perfectly usable beds in that room, the four of them remained tightly cuddled together on one of the double beds and not one of them found any cause to complain.

Ringo had been the first one to wake up on account of almost being pushed out of the bed by the other three tossing and turning in their sleep. He wasn't sure what time it was but he supposed it had to be the afternoon by now. Ringo didn't get out of bed immediately, he simply watched George sleep for a little while and admired the beauty of his face; he pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek before carefully getting up. The sight was a little ridiculous, Ringo thought with a quiet laugh, the three of them wrapped in one another tightly with an empty bed right beside them. He'd never experienced such closeness in a group of people before, especially not such affection amongst other men and he hadn't really realised the uniqueness of it until this moment, and it made him smile.

Over the next hour the rest of them gradually woke up, George was the last to which was a surprise to nobody, and eventually decided to go out to get some very late breakfast. They found a relatively normal looking cafe down one of the streets and each got a coffee to shake off the feelings left over from last night. George and John were both still barely conscious, John even rested his head on the table at one point to try and stop the pounding of his head. Ringo certainly felt strange but out of the three of them he thought he was recovering the best. When their food arrived, Paul turned the scant conversation to business.

"Shall we talk about what we're actually here to do then?" Paul asked only half seriously.

"Go on then, what did Brian say?" George asked, leaning against his hand to keep his head up.

"Well he wasn't too happy that we didn't call him last night but when I explained that we'd got a potential lead he wasn't too pissy." Paul began "He said the best thing to do is scope those guys out tonight and see where that leads us. He was very adamant that we shouldn't get physical unless we have to."

"Why do I feel like he was only saying that part to me?" John mumbled as he sipped his coffee.

"Your reputation precedes you, John." George chuckled.

"What should I do?" Ringo asked rather sheepishly.

"Just stay alert around Klaus and that lot, they might still have some more info." Paul smiled at Ringo "You gonna be alright without us around?"

"Hopefully." Ringo said "I've gotta get there for 6 tonight to go over songs and stuff. Will I see you guys when I'm done?"

"Maybe." George said "Can't make any promises unfortunately. If you can't see us just get back to the hotel, alright?"

"Probably best I give you this." Paul reached in his pocket for the hotel room key and pressed it into Ringo's hand.

"What if you guys end up in trouble or something?" Ringo asked "How am I to know?"

"You won't." John laughed bluntly.

"Well we shouldn't be getting into any trouble, should we?" George directed a glare at John "Just don't come looking for us, love, alright? Just get yourself to bed and we should be there by the morning."

"Alright." Ringo said somewhat sadly, George had placed his hand on top of his own to comfort him.

After they'd eaten John demanded they go back to the hotel so that he could collapse beside the toilet in case of any involuntary sickness. Paul sat in the bathroom with John for a while, Ringo wasn't sure how much of a conversation John could hold up in his current state but he supposed that didn't really matter to either of them. George and Ringo sat in the small lounge and listened to the radio for a while, Ringo playing with George's hair as he lay in his lap. John emerged from the bathroom after a while, his eyes watery and skin pale but he still wore his usual grin.

"How you feeling?" Ringo asked him as he collapsed onto one of the chairs.

"Ready for round two." John replied which made George laugh.

"Try not to throw up on these blokes later." George lifted his head up slightly to meet John's eyes.

"I dunno, might be a good tactic." John laughed "Hello, I'm one of Brian's men and I'd just like to inquire-" He cut himself off by making a retching noise which sent the rest of them into laughter.

The hours passed by fairly quickly as the four of them continued to joke around and listen to the radio. An hour or so before Ringo had to leave George announced he had something to give to him, and went rummaging around to the bottom of his suitcase and pulled out something that Ringo certainly wasn't expecting: a knife. The sight of it alone made Ringo nervous and as soon as George pressed it into his hand he felt like dropping it, as though it burned his skin.

"I don't think I can take this, George." Ringo said softly.

"I know, I know." George began "But this is a dangerous place, and if I can't be there to protect you the least I can do is give you this so you can protect yourself."

"I don't even know how to use it."

"It's a knife, not a rocket." John chimed in lightly.

"You probably won't even need to use it, its just a precaution." George placed his hand under Ringo's chin then "Please just take it, for me."

Ringo paused and looked down at the switchblade in his hand then up to George's dark eyes and saw the love behind them "Okay." He said simply and buried it deep within his pocket.

It wasn't too long before Ringo had to head out to the Top Ten Club again; it felt very peculiar leaving the three of them in the hotel room as he headed off into the unknown city, but he just had to remind himself that he had nothing to worry about. Part of him wished he was going with the rest of them, but the thought of having to confront those dangerous men made him relieved that he didn't have to get involved. He felt the weight of the knife in his pocket as he walked and it made him feel nervous, as though everyone who looked at him knew and he worried that it was making him more of a potential target. As the sun began to sink Hamburg began to rise up once more and Ringo supposed that he'd probably have a great time here if they were only on a normal holiday, yet the reason for their trip was never too far from his mind.

Klaus had been very happy to see Ringo which eased his nerves somewhat. They went over several songs with Klaus acting as the translator between Ringo and the rest of the group, who seemed to be growing increasingly impressed with Ringo's drumming ability.

"How long are you staying in Hamburg for?" Klaus translated the lead singer's question.

"Not too long, a couple of weeks probably." Ringo replied, speaking slowly and loudly as if it would somehow overcome the language barrier.

"That's a shame, you're a good drummer." Klaus spoke once more.

"Thank you." Ringo said with a smile.

"You came to Germany without even knowing how to say 'thank you'?" Klaus was speaking for himself now.

"What is it?" Ringo asked somewhat embarrassed.

"Danke." Klaus said with a smile.

"Danke." Ringo repeated.

"The manners of the English, I cannot believe it." Klaus laughed.

They practised songs for an hour or two before their shift officially started and Ringo had almost forgotten the exact reason for him being there, all until they were in the small room backstage and he saw the band taking out the same small pills from their pockets. Klaus offered one to Ringo but he politely declined, he wanted to try and keep a level head for as long as he could.

"Suit yourself." Klaus said "But you're gonna need them later, trust me."

"How long have you been taking them for?" Ringo asked as he tried to sort his hair out in the mirror.

"Not sure, as long as they've been giving them to us. Couple of months maybe." Klaus replied as he popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it down with a sip of beer.

"What did you do before you had them?"

"Just stayed awake, I suppose. We didn't used to play so much, or for so long, but at some point they kind of shooed a lot of the bands off and started giving us the pills. Must be cheaper, I guess."

"Weird." Ringo was worried about pushing the questions too far.

"Actually, now that I think about it, everything changed when they got that new manager in. What's his name?" He turned to one of the band members and spoke in German. "Ah, yes, Stefan. Stefan started working here and everything changed."

"Changed how?" Ringo asked.

"Well like half of the bands got fired, it was a pretty sad time seeing everybody go like that. Then they started giving us the prellies and its just stayed that way." Klaus began fiddling with his bass.

"What's this Stefan like?"

"I don't know really, we don't see him that often. At the end of every week or so he speaks to us and drops off a bunch of the pills. Gives out a bit of a weird vibe." Klaus' attention was drawn to one of the members again as they spoke to him "Oh really? Strange."

"What?" Ringo asked quickly, then cursed himself for appearing so eager.

"Oh, nothing. He just said Stefan's been sniffing around the other clubs the past few weeks, passing his pills around. Guess he's got some business plan or something."

Ringo didn't have much time to ask any more questions because soon they were heading off to the stage, but he was at least satisfied that when he next saw George and the rest of them that he'd have something to tell them. The thought of the other boys made Ringo nervous, he suspected they must have at least been planning something by this point or even heading out to find those men. He tried his best to not think of the sight of George when he'd returned after their first night together with a stab wound, or how battered John and Paul had looked. He counted himself lucky that he at least had something to occupy himself while they were 'working', and nothing was a better distraction for Ringo than drumming. While the club was almost the antithesis of The Babylon, dark instead of light, filled with everyday folk rather than the uptight classes, Ringo felt more at home here, but he couldn't deny he was still a little nervous playing for all these people with yet another new band. He just hoped that when he looked out at the crowd he'd see a familiar face, see George's sharp-toothed grin, but they were nowhere to be seen. As soon as they began to play Ringo allowed himself to get lost in the music, and he was extremely proud of his ability to get through the entire night without any need of a boost even if his body was aching for him to rest.

They finished playing around midnight and Ringo felt about ready to collapse onto his drum kit just to get some sleep. Klaus had invited Ringo out once again, but this time he refused.

"I'd love to, but I'm knackered." Ringo smiled, his fingers were killing.

"Knackered?" Klaus asked "What does this mean?"

"Oh, sorry. Really tired." Ringo amended "Maybe next time though."

"Next time, then." Klaus smiled, Ringo thought he looked absolutely crazed from his sober viewpoint.

He watched Klaus run up to the rest of the band excitedly as they headed off for what Ringo guessed would only be another unhinged night. The walk back to the hotel was awfully lonely, and seeing the mass groups of people drinking and laughing together only made Ringo feel his friends' absence even more. The weight of the knife in his pocket knocking against his leg was a terrible reminder of what might be happening to them right now, he wanted to remain positive but after the things he'd seen and experienced it was difficult not worry. He kept his heavy eyes peeled for any sight of one of them but he hadn't even caught a glimpse by the time he'd gotten back to the hotel. The receptionist gave him a warm greeting which he could only halfheartedly reciprocate.

The room felt especially empty when Ringo entered it, particularly the sight of the ruffled bed covers which only reminded him of how relaxed they'd been that morning. Part of him felt that if he didn't stay up before they got back, it somehow meant that he didn't care, but even he couldn't fight off the beckoning call to sleep, and after around an hour of waiting he finally crawled into the spacious-feeling bed and began to sleep. He could hear the bustling street outside the window and it was more comforting to him than silence, it at least gave his mind something to focus on rather than the horrible potentialities he was conjuring. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, playing for such a long time was beyond exhausting and was something he'd have to get used to.

Ringo awoke with a start to the sound of heavy banging on the door. Shit, was all Ringo could think. He hurried out of the bed and rummaged around for his trousers to pull out the knife from the pocket. Was this it? He flicked the blade up and held it defensively as he moved slowly towards the door; would they break it down? Sweat began to drip from his forehead and he felt his hands beginning to shake. That was, until he heard a voice.

"Ringo you git, open the door!" John shouted and Ringo almost collapsed in relief.

He put the knife away and chucked it onto a table before he unlocked the door to find the three of them standing there looking relatively unharmed. George was certainly glad to see Ringo, pulling him in for a quick kiss before even fully getting into the room.

"This key situation is gonna be a right nightmare." Paul said with a yawn as he walked over to the sofa and plonked himself down on it.

"How'd it go?" Ringo asked excitedly, taking a seat beside George.

"Quite well." George smiled at Ringo, taking his hand in his own "Think we found the right guys, bought some stuff off them and followed them about for a bit."

"I bartered pretty successfully, I thought." John grinned as he pulled out a bag of drugs from his jacket pocket.

"You're just itching for a fight, aren't you Johnny?" Paul chuckled then turned to Ringo "You'd think laying low and not causing up a stir would be the best idea, then this one tries to get a deal on the coke. On the coke we don't even need!"

"Speak for yourself." John retorted as he tossed the bag onto the table.

"Where did you follow them to?" Ringo asked, he felt like a little kid asking their parent's about their day at work.

"Some dodgy house not too far away." George answered "Looked like everyone and their mum was there."

"So what's the plan?"

"All that's left to do now is confront them. This is the tricky part." John said.

"Well it shouldn't be." George spoke sternly "It probably won't be the friendliest discussion, so we'll probably have to end up intimidating them or bribing them to bugger off."

"Oh God, I hope it goes well." Ringo furrowed his brow in worry.

"It should be fine." Paul said reassuringly "If things turn ugly we'll just get out of there."

"Anyway, how was your day, love?" George asked then brought Ringo's hand up to his mouth so he could press a kiss against it.

"Fine, fine. Klaus did tell me about this one guy, I think he might be part of that crew or whatever." Ringo recalled.

"Oh?" John sat forward now in interest.

"Well he said that a few months back a guy called Stefan started working there, and the whole club sort of changed. He's the reason all those drugs are getting passed around." Ringo explained.

"Interesting..." John began "Do you know what he looks like?"

"No, sorry. Klaus just said he gives off a weird vibe, that's all I know." Ringo said somewhat shamefully.

"Don't think we've got enough time to go after every bloke that gives off a weird vibe." Paul laughed "But that's a start at least."

"Do you think you can try and find some more stuff about him next time you're there?" George asked in a soft voice.

"I can try." Ringo smiled abashedly "Klaus did ask me out for drinks again, I could go and ask him a few things."

"Did he?" George asked almost sternly which made John laugh.

"Calm it, Georgie, he's not making a pass at your beloved Ringo." John giggled "Its just hospitality."

"Hmm... I suppose." George's face had hardened "Just be careful, love."

"He will be!" Paul interjected "And if Ringo's gotta suck up to a few German lads to get us the information, then that's what he's gotta do." He had a teasing grin on his face.

"Well as long as its sucking up and not sucking on, I guess I'm alright with it." George laughed, easing up a little.

"Don't I get a say in all this?" Ringo spoke up with a chuckle.

They continued joking around for a while before they all decided it was best they got some food before they went to bed, Ringo wasn't sure how he'd been going so long without noticing how long it'd been since he'd eaten. Paul was very adamant that they'd be going to bed after eating, but not before calling Brian to inform him on everything, which earned him a dramatic pout from John. They all scoffed down their food hastily and hurried back off to the hotel for some rest, drunkards and prostitutes were littering the streets now and they had to physically pull John away from the temptation.

"Do you reckon if we finish this all up early Brian will let us stay for a little while longer?" John asked as they all got ready for bed.

"Depends on how we finish it." George mumbled as he brushed his teeth.

"You got some devilish plans in mind, John?" Ringo asked.

"I just think it'd be a waste if we left this city without seeing what it has to offer." John replied.

"Or who it has to offer." George called from the bathroom.

"Oh come on! Are you guys not even a little bit curious?" John asked, directing it more at Paul than anyone else.

"I don't understand why you need to pay for sex when you have me right here." Paul said with a small pout, offering his hand out to John who took it gladly.

"It's not like that, it's just an experience. It'd be fun!" John defended himself.

"So when I asked if this is all going to end in some weird orgy, the answer was yes?" Ringo laughed.

The conversation devolved into more jokes and John adamantly trying to defend his stance, although nobody seemed the slightest bit convinced. Before they all got into bed, John made the executive decision of pushing the two beds together - even if there was barely any space between them anyway. Paul took it upon himself to call Brian, since he knew nobody else was going to do it, while the other three got under the covers and waited for Paul to finish. It was a fairly short conversation, and Paul had nothing to report when he moved into the bedroom and got into bed beside John.

"He just wants us to be careful." Paul said sleepily "Didn't say much else."

"So you didn't ask him if we'd be allowed to stay afterwards?" John asked cheekily.

"Jesus, give it a rest John!" George called out with a laugh.

"Let's save that until after we finish this job, alright?" Paul cuddled up beside John.

There was a small pause before Ringo spoke "Do we have any plans for the day tomorrow? I'm not working until 8."

"I've got an idea." John said.

"Fuck sake, of course you do." George already had his eyes closed.

"I think we need to get ourselves some new clothes, else we're really gonna stick out like a bunch of tourists." John explained.

"Well that's not what I thought you were gonna suggest." George mumbled.

"Do we stick out that much?" Ringo asked.

"Well with Paulie over here in his fancy blazer, I'd say so." John laughed "Just look at your band Ringo, what are they all wearing?"

Ringo paused to think "Black?"

"And..." John urged him on.

"Shoes?" Paul chimed in with a chuckle.

"German accents?" George joined in.

"Leather!" John cried out "They all have leather jackets and trousers, and I think we need to get some."

"It does look pretty cool." George admitted quietly.

"I dunno if that's really my style." Paul spoke up.

"Come on, love, when in Rome." John said "It'll give us something to do tomorrow at least. Might even increase our chances negotiating."

"It wouldn't hurt to try it." Ringo had closed his eyes now too, resting his head on George's chest.

"Exactly, that's the spirit!" John was the only one with any energy at this point.

"Alright, fine, we'll go look at some leather clothes tomorrow. Just nothing weird, alright?" Paul mumbled.

"Weird? Me? I'm offended, Paulie." John scoffed sarcastically then leaned in to whisper in his ear, something Ringo couldn't quite understand and he was partly glad for it considering the reaction it received - a small gasp from Paul followed by a satisfied hum.

"Can we all shut the fuck up and go to bed now, please?" George said, nudging John slightly.

That marked the end of their conversation and it wasn't long before they all dropped off to sleep one by one. Ringo felt safe and secure in this moment, with his boyfriend pressed up against him and John and Paul cuddled up together beside them. The thought of tomorrow loomed menacingly in his mind, and he hated the thought of having to be separated from the other three once again, especially since they were taking a much larger risk this time. He panicked at the thought of anything terrible happening, especially if one of them got wounded like they had done last time; would Ringo even know the right thing to do in that situation? Ringo's mind was filled with fear, a voice in his mind telling him constantly that he shouldn't be here, but every time his mind focused on George's breathing or the sound of John muttering in his sleep, all those thoughts were silenced. He just had to face whatever situation came his way, he decided in that moment, and there was no use worrying about anything that he couldn't prevent.

Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day, that much was certain, and Ringo still wasn't sure whether he was more scared by the potentiality of violence or the thought of trying on leather clothing.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

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joj-parisol · 5 years

Text

Heartbreak Hotel (Paul McCartney x reader)

summary: just some teen fluff then angst

warnings: death and angsty shit and potentially shitty writing

A/N hi this is the first fic I’ve ever posted so I’m FUCKING TERRIFIED YAY. pls enjoy and don’t be mean! im kinda proud of this and teen paul is precious so fun. this might be bad but hopefully whoever reads this enjoys !! now as she helped boost my confidence enough to actually post this, I especially hope that @casafrass enjoys !!here we go !!!!

——————

Paul and Y/N had been best friends for years. Pretty much their entire lives. They’d gone through everything together, grown up from little kids who ran around the playground hand in hand singing to teenagers who sang and played their guitars, in the others bedroom.

They didn’t go to the same school, unfortunately. Paul went to a nice grammar school in Liverpool whilst Y/N didn’t go to school at all. She took books from the library and studied whatever topics she cared for. Granted, this made her quite slow and dim when it came to maths, but she could spout fact after fact about Victorian fashion.

Y/N locked herself in her room during the day, hiding away in her bedroom at the back of the house. Not that she hid from anyone. The house was empty. It always was.

But at half three every day, Y/N would leave her books and walk down to Quarrybank Grammar School. She waited outside the gates, until Paul appeared. He would sling his arm around her waist and pull her close as they walked to their spot.

It was in the summer he plucked up the courage to ask her to go with him. It was the last day before the summer holidays, so there was an excited buzz in the warm summer breeze. Daisies littered people’s front gardens, except for those who had freshly cut grass sprinkled on their lawns, which kicked off peoples hay fever but gave the air a fresh scent. Paul had discarded his school blazer and jumper into his bag and his white shirt was unbuttoned and rolled up at the sleeves. His guitar case occasionally bashed his knees and the breeze swept his hair back even more.

Their footsteps led them down a secluded path, away from the roaring and rowdy school kids who didn’t care about the motor cars on the roads as they ran across them at the last minute. The path was grassy, but had been treaded by many others so the grass was smushed into the earth. The pair of teens chatted idly, strolling along at a leisurely pace, without a care in the world. Black birds chirped above their heads in the blue afternoon sky.

They halted once they reached a small apple tree, which had provided a bed of blossom petals for the pair to sit on. Y/N pulled a crisp red apple from one of the low branches and sat next to Paul. The tree shielded their eyes from the sun and the blanket of shade reached Paul’s knees and the middle of Y/N’s shins. This was a usual occurrence now that the nights were long and light and the grass only held dew in the mornings.

“Play me somethin’, Paulie.” Y/N asked, nudging the guitar case with her foot.

“If I must,” Paul teased, opening his guitar case and slinging it into his lap. He dug a pic from out of one of his blazer pockets. “Any requests?” He raised his eyebrows at her. He knew the answer to his question. It was always the same song. Their song.

“You know what song, you ass!” Y/N’s use of an ‘affectionate’ nickname as she put it made Paul laugh.

“No need for heckles already, Love. I know the one.” Paul smirked at her and strummed the guitar, checking if it was in tune before beginning to play.

The first few notes of Elvis’ ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ where, quite literally, music to Y/N’s ears. She smiled as Paul played, engrossed in his guitar. When he began to sing, Y/N’s vocal chords couldn’t help themselves as she jumped in, singing along, her feet tapping and shoulders swaying to the tune.

Paul’s singing faded out as Y/N’s got more passionate, her voice going up and down. His eyes flicked up to her every once in a while, enjoying seeing her so engrossed in her singing. She was so effortlessly beautiful with closed eyes and knitted eyebrows. Her hands moved expressively as she sung and her cute nose scrunched when she sung certain notes.

The song was nearing the end and Paul focused back on his playing until Y/N’s voice changed drastically. It was deep and expressive and sounded strangely exactly like Elvis. Paul stopped playing for a moment and looked up at her. She was mimicking Elvis with her face as well.

“Well now, if your baby leaves you,

And you got a tale tell

Well just take a walk down lonely street-“

She was dancing like Elvis, well as good as she could whilst sat down.

It made Paul laugh and stop playing completely, which made her stop singing, with a pout and a glare. Paul’s laughter doubled up on him and he fell onto his back, laughter still tickling him. Y/N couldn’t help herself as laughter crept up on her.

“It’s a brilliant impression, love, yeh just don’t quite have the hair.” Paul rolled onto his side to face her and gestured to her long, soft hair that was the opposite of Elvis’ dark greased pompadour.

“Well, my performance would have been even greater if my guitarist hadn’t just stopped randomly.” She raised her eyebrows accusingly and stuck her tongue out at him. He stuck his out back at her.

“Your guitarist? I was the one who was singing first! You took over from me.” Paul teased straight back with a grin. She rolled her eyes and brushed him off.

“And it’s a good thing I did. Your an awful singer, McCartney. Absolutely dreadful.” Her comeback was overcome with a laugh as Paul gave her an exaggerated shocked look. He held his hand up to his heart protectively.

“Well. I know who I’m no longer singing to.” Paul ‘humph’-ed dramatically, crossing his arms defensively. It made her laugh even more and her laugh seemed contagious because Paul soon gave up and laughed.

They sat next to each other under the apple tree for three more hours. The sky turned a muted blue and the birds had stopped chirping, nestled in their nests rather than soaring through the sky.

They left the apple tree, hand in hand. Paul’s hands were warm and Y/N’s were cold against his warm skin. They always held hands so she thought nothing of it but Paul burned up, avoiding her gaze so she wouldn’t see the dusting of pink on his cheeks. He walked her home, sticking to the everyday routine. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shirt clad shoulder.

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Paul asked out of the blue, blurting it out into the comfortable silent air between them.

“You mean tomorrow, Paulie? Today’s Friday, you ninny.” Y/N laughed and slowed down her steps as they reached her home.

“Well yes, I guess.” Paul’s voice was awkward as he stopped completely. There was a slight red blush on his cheeks. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed and she took a step toward him, resting her hand on his arm.

“Are you alright, Paul?” She used his actual name out of concern. He nodded, but a grim sort of smile was on his face. “Ok, well I am free tomorrow and Sunday and everyday after that, it’s not like I have anywhere to be on school days but it’s the start of the holidays so I really don’t have anywhere to go.”

“Good, well would you maybe want to maybe come with me?” Paul asked, staring into her eyes.

“Come with you where?” Y/N returned his question with a question, staring back at him expectantly.

“Oh right. To the Fair in Woolton?”

Y/N was confused. They always went to the summer Fair together. Why did he need to ask if she was busy if it was tradition they went together?

“Paulie, we always go together. Of course I want to go with you.”

“No-I mean like, together together.” Her eyes widened in shock and realisation and Paul’s heart dropped.

“Like a date?” She asked breathlessly, her eyebrows raised.

“Yes, if you want. And please stop doing that with your eyebrows. It’s making me nervous.”

Y/N grinned at him, with normal, unraised eyebrows.

“You know what, yes. I’d love to go with you. Only, and I mean only, if you apologise about your rudeness towards my Elvis impression.”

Paul laughed, so damn relived she said yes and didn’t just run into her house and never speak to him again.

“Ok, my sincere apologies about my rudeness towards your Elvis impression.” Paul apologised. sounding as serious as he could. She laughed and nodded.

“That’ll do, I guess.” She cheekily smirked. He began to protest but was cut off as her soft lips pressed into his cheek.

A bright red blush followed the kiss. She smirked and Paul smiled bashfully, stroking his cheek subconsciously.

“See you tomorrow, handsome.” She winked and his blush became severe. Before she could leave, Paul caught her arm and plucked a daisy with pink petals from the grass in someone’s garden. He tucked it behind her ear and kissed her cheek. He pulled away, his warm fingers brushing over her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. She shivered but grinned.

The pair walked away from each other, cheeks burning. It felt as if Paul could still feel her fingers intertwined with his and her tender kiss made his cheeks tingle.

———

Paul could still feel her kiss on his cheek many years later. It was their parting kiss that young summer day in 1956. And they would use that kiss everyday afterwards. No matter what, they would both end up with a kiss on their cheeks

Every time they met after school. Every time they met after Paul preformed in the cavern. After every performance he played on TV or played in front of thousands and thousands of people, she would be the one to kiss his cheek and receive one in return.

Paul kissed her cheek after they had their first night together. After she got a promotion at work. After she then lost her job at work. After every fight. After he had carried her bridal-style into their first apartment. After she had cried watching him preform on the Ed Sullivan show. After she accepted his marriage proposal.

After they said ‘I Do’ and started the next chapter of their life together.

But one day, Y/N couldn’t return his kiss.

The pair weren’t much older now, only twenty four. They were beginning their own family and had been driving home from dinner with John, Cynthia and little Julian, who was excited to soon have a cousin.

Despite Paul’s drunken protests, Y/N affirmed she could drive. Unable to drink anyway, she had to deal with Paul, who had been drinking with John for who knows how long.

His speech was slurred and woozy, laughing at random things which made Y/N think that maybe it wasn’t just alcohol him and John had occupied themselves with.

It was when he leaned over to kiss her, that another car came speeding round the bend. Y/N hadn’t noticed the vehicle as she laughed at drunken Paul who tried his hardest to be seductive.

The impact of the other car made her scream. The car spun out of control, making her scream. The car smashed into thick trees but she didn’t scream. Paul screamed, the alcohol leaving his system. He sobered up when he didn’t hear her. His head throbbed and he couldn’t feel his legs properly but his vision was hazy. He couldn’t tell if it was through tears or impact.

His beautiful wife. His beautiful, beautiful wife. It looked as if she was sleeping. Her eyes were closed, arms wrapped protectively around her stomach. She looked so peaceful. Paul reaches out for her. His hands felt as though they’d been set on fire.

He shook her shoulders as gently as he could.

“Y/N....Y/N please.” His words came out in sobs and he grew more desperate. She had to wake up. “Wake up, Y/N! Wake up!”

He shook her but she didn’t wake up. Her body just fell into Paul’s lap. His body was overcome with sobs. He held her close to his shaking chest. His body shut down, overcome with pain. Paul brushed the hair away from her eyes.

His forehead rested on hers, Paul’s tears poured onto her cheeks. He kissed them away. Kissing her cheeks, pleading with every being that her eyelashes would flutter and she’d lean up to return the kiss.

But she didn’t. Her eyes didn’t open but a tear that wasn’t his rolled down her temple. It escaped her closed eyes - She was gone. Completely. And as Paul used all of what was left in him to wipe the tear from her face, sirens bleared outside the wreck of the car.

Officers approached the vehicle, trying to pry open doors that were smashed beyond compare. They wouldn’t be able to. And if they did they wouldn’t be able to pry him away from Y/N. Not until she kissed him back.

He couldn’t go, it was his fault she couldn’t. It was all his fault. With one last feeble kiss, his face fell into the crook of her neck. He sobbed and sobbed, that was the only thing he could hear. His sobs. No heart beat.

But all of a sudden there was a crackle in the radio. The only thing that wasn’t damaged. Paul didn’t bother to look up from her neck.

His sobs stopped for a moment as the radio fuzz cleared into the first bars of ‘Heartbreak Hotel’.

He screamed out weakly and hugged her tighter. Holding her against him, he just cried. But he couldn’t drown out the lyrics.

Well, since my baby left me

Well, I found a new place to dwell

Well, it’s down at the end of lonely street at

Heartbreak Hotel

Where I’ll be so lonely baby

Well, I’m so lonely

I’ll be so lonely, I could die

#paul mccartney #the beatles #paul mccartney x reader #paul mccartney x oc #x reader #the beatles angst #the beatles fic #john lennon #angst

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fuck-customers · 5 years

Text

Happy holidays from your favorite orange beauty store worker.

Please note that in the plaza my orange store is in we are next door to a teej max.

So right now we have a big haircare sale going on… bascially all our liter shampoos/etc are 50%+ off. Had a lady come through and buy maybe 4 sets (4 shampoos, 4 conditioners). No big deal, we get a lot of people who stock up. Maybe an hour or so later she comes in and returns them all because she found the exact same thing next door (^^ above) for cheaper even with our sale. Also not a big deal, we get TONS of people who buy from us then return after going shopping next door.

Now today I had the pleasure of being the only person on cash. Not a big deal, it’s about an hour to close, maybe 2 people in the store. Same lady comes in with shampoos/conditioners and wants to return them. I pull up her account and ask for the reciept. She hands me the Teej reciept. I ask her for the correct reciept as a lot of people have a lot of reciepts in their bags these days. No she says, that’s the receipt for the shampoo. I start telling her she needs to go to the store she bought them in to return them (you’d think that be common sense but every since we got kyli3 and kaykayw in our store people have been trying to return their orders to our store they bought from the actual KYLI3 website so who knows) and she cuts me off and is like, no, they told me I need to go to a store that sells them to return them. I ask her who said that, teej said to return their shampoos to us?? and she looks at me like i’m dumb as fuck and goes, “no, pauly mitchhell did!!” at this point i’m like… ?? pauly mitchhell told you to return teej shampoos to the orange store? why??????????????

this is what she said:

No. I bought this at teej. They hurt my scalp so I went to return them to teej but they refused my return because they were clearance final sale items EVEN THOUGH it burned my scalp. The person at the register there told me to try and call the Pauly Mitchhell customer service because it has a your satisfaction guarentee on the bottle and that is from Pauly himself and not Teej. I called Pauly and he said that he can only help me if I have the reciept from an offical seller of Pauly products. When I bought the shampoo teej told me it’s the real deal for 5$ and its been flying off the shelves since they got it in!! I’ve been SCAMMED and now you’re going to take this (she shoves the shampoos at me over the counter) and give me my money back because you’re an “offical” (she says this drawn out and sarcastically) seller!!!!!!!!!!!

Story ending is non-exciting. I call my manager up and tell him this lady is trying to return teej products to us, manager stands and politely nods in sympathy to this lady’s story, manager refuses refund because product isn’t ours.

ps. Pauly Mitchhell products actually say in bold font (quote) this product is ONLY guarenteed when purchased within the professional beauty salon industry (/quote)… seriously, read your Pauly product labels it’s there!! (and on a few other brands of salon haircare)

#submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #submission

191 notes · View notes

lamptracker · 5 years

Note

You,Harry and you little boy celebrating Harry’s birthday❤️

“So, today is Daddy’s birthday?” Your son Paul, who is five, asks you.

“Yep, Paulie, today’s the day.” You smile as you carefully pour blueberry batter into the waffle iron.

Paul’s tiny brow furrows in confusion. “But today is Valentine’s Day!”

“Sure is. Sometimes people can have their birthdays on a holiday.”

“Oh.” Paul goes back to drawing a picture on the card he’s making for Harry. “Hey, Mommy! Today is Uncle Sammy’s birthday too!”

You laugh as you close the lid on the waffle iron. “Yes, sweetheart, it is. They’re twins. That means Granny Nikki had them both in her tummy together, and they were born on the same day.”

Paul’s little brown eyes grow wide. “Wow. I bet she didn’t like that at all!”

“Probably not. But, I mean, she did decide to have your Uncle Paddy after that. So it must not have been that bad.”

“Mommy? Do you think the new baby is going to be twins?” Paul puts his crayon down and holds up the card at arms’ length, admiring his handiwork.

“They’d be able to tell by now if it was,” you reply. “But, there’s just one baby in here.” You pat your seven-months-pregnant belly slightly.

“That stinks, I think two babies would be really fun.” Paul, obviously deciding his card needed more embellishment, digs in his art supply box for a sheet of stickers. He finds the perfect ones: Spider-Man. “What is her name going to be, again?”

The waffle iron beeps; you pull out the waffles inside and add more batter. “Elise,” you reply. “Elise Alexandra.”

“That’s such a pretty name. Look, I put Uncle Tommy on Daddy’s card!” He holds up the card, pointing at the Spider-Man sticker affixed to the front. “Do you think he’ll like it, Mommy?”

“I think he’ll love it, Paulie.”

“Do I smell blueberry waffles?” Harry pads softly into the room, wearing only his pajama pants; his red hair is wild and his voice is raspy with sleep.

“Daddy!” Paul springs from his seat, racing over to Harry. “Happy birthday, Daddy! Look, I made you this.” He hands the card he’s just finished making to Harry, smiling timidly.

Harry takes the card and studies it carefully, a smile creeping over his face.

“Do you like it?” Paul asks quietly.

“I love it, buddy, thank you so much. You must have worked really hard on this.” He hugs his son close to his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

“Mommy’s making breakfast,” Paul chirps excitedly as he climbs back into his chair. “Then she says she has a present for you, I know what it is but I’m not allowed to say. She says sometimes people have their birthdays on holidays, just like you and Uncle Sammy, Daddy!”

“Did you even take a breath at all during that sentence, Son?” Harry laughs as he crosses over to you. He wraps his arms around your middle, just above your swollen belly. “G’morning, love,” he murmurs into your neck, his head dropping tiredly onto your shoulder.

“Happy birthday, babe.” You turn your head slightly to kiss the tip of his nose before removing the last of the waffles from the waffle iron. “Paul, can you pick up your crayons, please?”

“Sure, Mommy.” As Paul gets to work picking up his mess, you turn around as carefully as you can in Harry’s arms.

“So, a present?” Harry wiggles his eyebrows at you; you laugh.

“You can open it after breakfast, okay? I’m starving.”

“Right, right, eating for two.” Harry bends town to press a soft kiss to your belly. “Hello in there, Elise. You hungry? Your mum makes the best blueberry waffles.”

You put the waffles on plates and carry them to the table; you help Paul cut his up before pouring some syrup over the top.

“Do you like your birthday so far, Daddy?” Paul asks, between bites of waffle.

“I love it, Paul,” Harry says. “I’m spending it with the two people I love the most. And you know what? That’s the best present of all.”

#harry holland #harry holland appreication #Anonymous

42 notes · View notes

hey-llison · 6 years

Text

Let’s go! Move it!

50 more yards!

All right, let’s go! Pick it up!

- Let’s go! - Yes, sir!

You’re running out of time, Bryant!

Make it all the way around the track! Come on!

You want to be troopers? You better move it!

All right, next, get up here!

Let’s hit it now.

Dean, come on!

All right. You’ve all completed the written exam.

However, you must now pass the obstacle course

to be admitted into the training program.

And remember, survive this,

and you’re on the front lines of keeping New Jersey safe.

Yeah.

Sorry about the test, Dad.

We all have our crosses to bear, sweetheart.

Mine is named hypoglycemia.

Well, that’s why you always have to have sugar nearby.

Are you gonna have pie?

Not tonight, Ma.

I’m just kidding. Yeah, I’m gonna want some pie.

You…

No, I meant now, Ma. Get the pie now.

- Okay. - You said it,

and I just kind of got that stuck in my head now,

and can’t really get it out. Pie. Here we go.

It really helps heal.

And, you know, not always, but sometimes,

you gotta do like the kids say, and just say, “Whatever.”

Kids don’t talk like that.

Some do, sweetheart. The older ones, okay?

I hear them in the mall. You know?

Peanut butter.

It just fills the cracks of the heart.

Go away, pain.

- What? - Paulie.

Oh, no. Come on, Ma.

I’m not ready for this right now.

- Dad. - Please.

We just don’t want to see you go through another holiday alone.

But I’m not alone.

I’ve got you two. You know?

And besides, Black Friday’s coming,

so my dance card’s gonna be pretty full.

What? It’s the busiest shopping day of the year.

Yeah, I should have known better than to try to explain it to civilians.

I wish I had a coworker here, like, “Tyler, hey. You know, Black Friday’s coming.”

“Gee, Paul, you don’t have to tell me Black Friday’s coming.

"Why do you think I’ve been walking around here

"with the eyes of an eagle?”

- We prepare. - Dad, what does all that have to do

with being happy for the rest of your life?

You said, and I quote, “If I don’t have a girlfriend by November,

"I’ll let you sign me up for perfectmatch.com.”

That was last year.

Okay.

- Here we are. - Okay.

“What are you looking for in a woman?”

Well, your mother certainly had something special.

Yeah, illegal immigrant status.

She married you, got citizenship, and then she left us.

That’s not entirely true.

We did have some good times back when she was still trying to trick me.

- Well, I hate her. - Well, you shouldn’t.

She gave me you.

- I am pretty great. - You are. You are.

Okay, next question. “Tell us about yourself.”

Let’s see.

I know a lot about sharks.

Let me stop you right there.

Well-built and a great hugger.

Awesome, Grandma.

Not as awesome as this.

What are you doing?

Beefing up your profile with that nifty video that you made a few years back.

Ma, no.

I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s a little too, “Hey, look at me”?

Well, that is exactly what we want.

Eyes on the prize.

And don’t worry, I will edit out the sweaty parts.

Dear God!

Hey! Back away from the vehicle.

Oh, dear God. Please.

Chompers, get down!

Hey, you know where a men’s room is?

I do. You’re gonna want to go to Lord and Taylor.

They got 12 stalls and heated seats.

Okay, keep the balls in the pit, kids. Kids!

Okay, my lip is numb.

All righty.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Hey.

Yeah, I know.

That’s not supposed to be here. It’s a minivan.

… he can’t handle it. The puck travels to the far board…

He keeps the play alive.

- Paul! - Hey.

What is this?

That’s my report on how to ease traffic flow from Macy’s

down through the specialty shops.

- How’s that working out for you? - Actually, it’s for all of us.

You see, if we could reroute the customers away from the food court,

it’s gonna help the kiosks and cut down on shopper frustration.

It’s your classic two-bird, one-stone scenario.

- Can I ask you something? - Anything.

Why can’t you just punch in, shut up and punch out like the rest of us?

Safety never takes a holiday.

Did your mom crochet that on a pillow?

Blart.

This is Sims. He’s a new trainee. Let him trail you today.

Hey. Paul Blart. Ten-year veteran.

Wow. Veck Sims.

Well, Veck Sims, welcome to the show. Let’s mount up.

Oh, yeah. That’s the good stuff.

That’s it. Treat her gentle, son.

Slap it, honor it.

So what made you want to pursue security?

I never finished high school. This is all I could get.

Yeah, I’m currently working on becoming a state trooper, myself.

Right now, I’m goose egg for eight. Hypoglycemia.

Confusing, right? Cut yourself some slack.

My first week riding on the job, I got lost behind the Sears.

They found me later in the fetal position, sporting a full beard.

I’m kidding. I can’t grow a beard.

My uncle can. Stay snug.

Now, in the event that you approach an assailant,

here’s what I want you to do. You’re gonna pull up,

left hip forward, placing your right hand on your away hip thusly,

giving the illusion that you have a gun. Which, of course, we both know

you don’t.

Okay? But you know what we do have?

Our voices! We have our voices.

If you remember one thing from today, it’s this.

The mind is the only weapon that doesn’t need a holster.

Right. Awesome. How long do we get for lunch?

Half hour. But I eat in 20, which leaves me five minutes for social time,

five minutes to get refocused.

We got a high roller.

Sir, I’m gonna need you to pull to the right.

Please pull to the side, sir. Out of traffic.

Tan jacket, red scooter, please pull to the right, out of traffic.

Sir.

Thank you.

Driving kind of recklessly back there, sir.

You’re kidding.

I don’t joke about shopper safety.

I’m afraid I’m gonna have to issue you a citation.

Gonna need your first and last. Last first.

Sir. Sir. Sir, sir, sir.

Please don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be, okay?

Are you able to… Sir. Sir! Sir. I am warning you, sir.

You’re pushing it.

Sir. Sir. I am warning… Sir.

Sir. Sir. Sir.

Okay.

This is adding up, sir. He’ll be back. He’ll be back. He’ll be back.

- Hey. - Hi. Do you need something?

Yes. I’d like to welcome you to our mall.

Well, thank you.

Is there something else?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just looking for some hair extensions.

Need a little more volume up top. Do you do men?

Do you do men hair? Do you do men hair? On the men?

Are you the guy that crashed into the minivan?

I don’t think so. Which one?

Well, that one. That one right there.

Yeah. That one, yes. That… You know, that one was me.

- Oh, wow. Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. Never better.

Although they’re docking the paycheck pretty good.

Yeah.

You know what you should do? You should get the security tape,

and then, like, sell it to one of those shows, you know, where people crash into stuff.

- Hello, early retirement. - Yeah, right?

Volume. Right, let me just see what I’ve got.

Yeah, this is Blart. If you need me, I’m over by the kiosks.

Who is this?

It’s Officer Blart, reporting from Sector 5.

What the hell are you bothering me for?

- Just a Code B check. - What a moron.

You know, I’ll check in with them later. It’s pretty intense.

Oh, right, yeah. Life of a security guard.

- What, what? - No, it’s just that you said security guard,

and it’s perfectly acceptable…

I’m so sorry if I called you the wrong thing.

No, no, no, no. You did fine, you know?

It’s just that there’s a huge, huge controversy

brewing in the industry right now,

whether the title should be Security Guard or Officer.

I’m sure you heard about it.

- I didn’t. - You will. You’re gonna.

- But I’m sure I will. - It’s out there.

So, you all set for the busiest shopping day of the year?

Yeah, right. And the worst day for a birthday.

This year, it falls on a Black Friday, which means I probably won’t even get a card.

Everyone’s too busy shopping.

You know what? Yeah. Autumn Ash.

- Yeah. - I think that’s your color.

- I think this’ll work. - It’s a winner.

- So that’s $9.95. - $9.95?

- Yeah. - Wow.

At those prices, now you got me thinking ponytail.

All right. Thank you.

Thank you.

- Right. So there you go. - Okay.

And, there you go.

Thank you, Amy.

Thank you, Officer Blart.

Hey, Blart. Wow, nice shirt.

You went with a medium?

It’s a bit formfitting,

but that’s ‘cause we’re required to wear protective vests under our…

No. Not buying it. No.

'Cause I don’t see any vest underneath here, so…

No, but it’s a thick T-shirt. Basically like a thermal they have you wear.

Nope. Nope. No.

I don’t understand why you’re laughing. I just called you fat.

I’m not laughing.

Yeah, whatever. Amy.

Hey, everyone’s going to American Joe’s tonight, and I want to see you there.

Okay? We’re gonna split some onion strings.

Wow. Wow.

Good.

Good hang.

Wow, yeah. That’s great.

Hey, Blart, they need you at Victoria’s Secret.

Okay, roger that.

Okay, I gotta go.

Okay. Bye.

- I found it first. - No, you didn’t.

Ladies. Problem.

What’s the genesis?

She’s trying to take the last push-up bra in this size.

There’s gonna be a new shipment tomorrow. They’ll be here by noon.

Well, I need this one now. I have a date tonight.

Really? Is he blind?

Whoa! Waterproof shoes and Baggies on the socks.

Not my first rodeo.

Okay, ladies, need to see some ID.

No, you don’t.

Ma'am, I should warn you, I do have the authority to make a citizen’s arrest.

So does anyone. I could arrest you right now.

- That’s true. She could. - Hey, not talking to you. Okay?

Can I see you for a second, please, ma'am?

Look, I understand your sensitivity.

I’ve had some issues with weight myself.

- Are you calling me fat? - No. No, no, no, no.

I’m just saying I’ve been down that road.

I mean… I mean, I’m still on it. We both are, you know? Stranded.

Let’s face it, we eat to fill a void, right?

But as soon as I started eating healthier,

I noticed I wasn’t so moody.

And PS, your skin’s gonna clear up.

- Can you hold onto these? - Sure.

Ma'am.

You…

She’s got tremendous upper body strength.

Backup! Backup!

She’s biting my neck. She’s biting my neck.

Backup!

Backup! Backup!

Look, I know you’re new here and all,

but “backup” seems like a pretty universal term.

Hey. Can I give you a lift?

What, on that?

With an inexperienced driver I would recommend no,

but with me, you’ll be as safe as the President.

I don’t know. Couldn’t that get you fired?

Yes, it could.

Okay.

- Is this all right? - Absolutely.

And here you go. Safe and sound.

- '65 Mustang. - Yeah.

Fun fact for you, a lot of people think the Mustang was named after the horse.

It was actually named after the P-51 Mustang.

- That’s a plane. - I didn’t know that.

Well, thank you for the ride, Paul. That was so much fun.

No problem.

Listen,

if you ever, you know, need rides anywhere,

Dispatch, they can get me. You know.

- Or we could just text each other. - Yeah.

- Yeah, give me your cell phone. - My cell?

Yeah, and I’ll punch my number in.

Left it in the casuals. You know what?

Just give me your number and I’ll remember it.

- Okay. Ready? - Yep.

- All right. 555… - Not yet. Just…

Now I’m ready.

- 555… - 555…

…01… …01…

…78. - Eight. Got it.

That’s it. It’s locked.

Great, so I’ll see you tonight at American Joe’s, right?

Yeah, I mean, everybody’s going, so…

- Yeah. …why not me, too? I’ll be…

Yeah, I’m there.

- Great. Bye. - Okay. Bye.

- Hey. - Hey! Hey. Glad you made it, Paul.

Good to be here.

- Fun fact for you… - This place sucks.

- You want to get out of here? - No.

I’m sorry, what were you saying?

No, I was just saying that

the first American Joe’s actually opened its doors in 1972.

And most people, because of its service and theme,

think that it’s derivative of Abe and Louie’s, but it’s not.

It’s its own thing.

You really know a lot of facts, Paul.

Hey, Blart, I heard you got your ass handed to you by a fat chick at Victoria’s Secret.

Well, I don’t hit women,

- so I don’t even know what… - Yeah. Just minivans, right?

Hey, why don’t you go over to the bar and grab yourself one of those girly drinks?

- I’ll meet you over there. - Okay. Does anybody else want a drink?

- 'Cause Stuart’s buying. - No, no, no. They’re good. They’re good.

- So… They’re good. - Okay.

Hey, listen, I… We’re basically already together, so…

I wasn’t… I didn’t even realize that.

- And I was… I wouldn’t… Doing anything. - Yeah.

I just want you to grab a hold of it, tight.

- Okay? - I got it.

I mean, it’s not like you really had a chance, okay?

Security guard? Really.

But you’re a pen salesman, dude.

Yeah, and I just bought a Camry, so you can eat me.

All right, bro. Back off. You know, we’re all just here having fun.

Okay, bro.

What?

Hey, thanks for getting my back there, brother.

Security blood runs deep between… Yeah, let’s just go.

- Round six. - Let’s do this thing.

- Gentlemen ready? - No.

Not yet. Now I’m ready. Okay.

And, go!

Leon, I can’t give you the Heimlich, so you better chew.

I know.

Told you, boy. You better hurry up.

There you go. Nachos in my face.

Oh, my God. These peppers. The peppers are hot.

Oh, my God. Oh, that’s a hot pepper.

Nachos are good, man.

Better inform all your friends, boy. Nachos about to be gone.

You’re lagging behind.

Come on, Paul. Playing games.

I love these nachos, I’ll tell you that much.

- That lemonade is insane. - Yeah, Paul.

- That’s because it’s a margarita. - No. I don’t drink.

Twist it.

Feel the nub.

- Hey, you want some? Here. - Yeah.

You want fruit?

Bye! You blinked! You blinked.

Time to pluck the grape from the vine.

Still got the Baggies! Hot jiggity.

Coming on the left.

False alarm.

Told my mom everything about us.

What are you talking about?

You’re acting coy. Come on. It’s natural.

You know. You so know.

No, I’m sorry, Paul. I don’t know.

Snap. Pop goes the weasel.

So happy!

Yeah!

I believe in magic!

No way!

I’m sorry it didn’t work out, dear.

It’s fine, Ma.

- Hey, Dad, why don’t we check for matches? - Yes.

Yeah, I don’t think so, sweetheart. I think I’m just gonna turn in.

Well, how about something special for lunch tomorrow to cheer you up?

I don’t think so, Ma. It’s fine.

If something’s gonna work, it would be the sloppy joe.

But that would probably… You know.

You know, if you’re doing the sloppy joe, do the sweet potato fries.

But it… Whatever, you know. Well done. Yeah.

Maya. Hey.

Dad. I’m so sorry.

It’s okay.

There are other fish in the sea.

You just gotta keep looking.

And it doesn’t matter what you do.

Because once someone takes the time to get to know the real you,

all bets are off.

If it doesn’t work out, you’ll always have us.

I’m sorry, sweetie, I popped my ears. I didn’t hear a word you were saying.

You just have to…

Is that a tattoo?

I… Yeah, yeah, it is.

When did you get it?

- I got it last night. - What is it?

It’s the Loch Ness monster.

I don’t drink.

- Hey. - Hi.

That was

a little weird the other night, huh?

Yeah, you know, it had its moments. Yeah.

Was one of them when I tried to make out with your purse?

You see, alcohol instantly turns to sugar in the blood.

And what happens is the capillaries…

Yeah, look. A lot of people…

Pretty much everybody, you know, tends to write me off.

And if you did, too, believe me, I get it.

I just… I guess what I’m asking is that you don’t.

Okay. You know, I’m sorry, I’ve just…

I’ve gotta cash my paycheck before the bank closes. I’m…

No problem. Maybe we could talk later or something?

- Yeah, sure. You could just text me, or… - Okay.

- Yeah. - I can do that. I can do that.

You know, Paul, everybody texts these days.

I can’t believe you don’t have a cell phone.

I’m not about all this technology, Vijay.

I prefer face-to-face interaction or a nice handwritten sentiment.

300 bucks?

I dug myself into a really deep hole with this girl, you gotta help me. Please.

Paul, you’ve always been a straight shooter, so I’ll tell you what.

Why don’t you take my daughter Parisa’s phone?

- No, I can’t do that. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

I’m punishing her.

No. What with all the parties and that ex-boyfriend Pahud,

she went over her minutes.

When and if she decides to turn her life around, I’ll simply take it back.

Until then, you use it.

- Thanks. - Sure.

- Stay within the minutes. - Of course.

Hey. It’s too late to go in that way, guys. It’s closed.

- No one’s going in there. - Yeah. I think we are.

Hey, yo, Paul. Come here, man.

Look, I know you been feeling down, so I got this for you.

“The Devil’s Crotch.”

Feel the burn, baby.

- Thanks, Leon. - Get back at me, man.

- Loading dock’s ready. - Got it.

Yeah.

You need a pen, don’t you?

You know what? No, I’m good.

- I’ll just use one of their pens. - Yeah, you do.

Yes. The Summit 5280 fountain.

- That’s stunning. - Yeah, I know.

How would you like to sign your name with this panther?

You know what? More than anything.

- Yeah, that’d be great. - Here. Yeah.

It’s yours. I insist.

Oh, hey, guys.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Hey. - Don’t you just love Fridays?

- Yeah. - Best night of the week.

Yeah.

- Excuse me. Sorry. - Hey.

Paul. Paul, can you help me out?

I need to shoot over to the bank for a minute.

There’s a few kids inside, just finishing up their games.

Could you close up the arcade for me?

- Yeah, sure. No problem, Mr. Ferguson. - Okay.

- You okay? You seem a little down. - Yeah, I’m fine.

You know, video game might cheer you right up.

Nah, I’m on duty.

Welcome to the games!

Get set.

Go.

Foul. Foul.

Foul. Foul. Foul. Foul.

Game over.

We are ready.

Let’s do this.

Attention shoppers.

Please make your way to the nearest exits.

Unfortunately, the mall will be closing early.

- Everybody out! - Everybody out!

Everybody out, now!

You, too!

Hi. Hey! Hey! You got me…

I’m at the West Orange Pavilion Mall.

Hey, yo. Hey, there’s some crazy-ass people trying to take over the mall.

- I’m out of here. - Everybody on the floor!

Tell them to bring SWAT. There may be hostages.

What are you doing? Get down.

Oh, my God.

Surprised? I know.

But here’s the craziest part.

I’m the leader.

Reports are, they’re inside the bank and they got hostages.

This is Sergeant Howard. I need four units around the back to secure the perimeter.

See if we can establish visual. Report back to me immediately.

Let’s get all these civilians out of here.

See if we can gain access into the loading dock.

- Go. - I’m on it. 94, move 'em out.

Hello?

Feeling alive?

I’m sorry?

Parisa.

She makes you feel alive, doesn’t she?

This must be Pahud. Pahud, no, I’m not with Parisa.

My name’s Paul Blart.

Parisa’s dad took her cell phone away, and he lent it to me.

Do not lie to me, Paul Blart. Do not lie to me.

You are probably sweating over her right now.

I’m not lying.

I mean, I am sweaty, but I’m not sweating over anyone.

That woman is like an angelic goddess who only brings goodness to this world.

Plus, she has some crazy sexy feet.

Paul, the pain of this breakup is far too much for me to bear, man.

Pahud, no one can blame you for being upset.

I mean, the holidays are tough enough without adding heartbreak to the mix.

Wow. Them’s some heavy words, Paul Blart.

Hey, life is heavy.

Indeed. Now, you are at the mall, huh?

So why do you not head over to Orange Julius,

call up my friend Sameer Oh?

Tell him you are now my homeboy. He will hook you up.

Wait a second. How’d you know I was at the mall?

I track Parisa’s phone with GPS. Don’t you judge me.

Closing time already.

Okay, there are 223 stores in this mall.

Here is a list of the 15 that I need you to hit.

And 15 for you.

Okay.

Now this is the key to retrieve the codes from each store’s credit-card machine.

They change every day, so make sure

that you bring me back the codes for today, Friday.

Veck, six guys in standard formation, just like you said.

Perfect.

Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb!

And these little piggies went all the way home.

Do it.

Gary usually delivers the leftovers to the Mission.

Hey, everyone. A couple requests.

Kindly tie up the person beside you, keep your mouths shut,

give up your cell phones, and as a general rule, do as I say.

You do all these things… Well, you’ll be back at home in no time.

Back to your mediocre lives.

- I don’t have one. - Amy.

I was hoping that you and I could have a whole Bonnie-and-Clyde thing going on.

You know, minus dying in a hail of gunfire, of course.

What do you say?

Go to hell.

Ouch.

Hey, Stewie, you don’t mind that I’m hitting on your girlfriend, do you?

What? No. She’s not my girlfriend.

But I specifically heard you say that you two were “basically together.”

No. I didn’t say that we were together. I said that she’s into leather.

Have at it. If you…

God, you’re an idiot.

Hello?

This is Sergeant Howard of the West Orange Police Department.

- Who am I speaking with? - Hi.

Yeah, well, so here’s the deal.

As you learned the hard way, I have motion sensors by all the doors,

so if you wanna enter my mall,

you might as well bring at least six body bags.

He’s drilling the safe, and they have eyes on us.

See if we can tap into the security cameras.

Now look, no one’s gonna try and enter the mall.

Is there anything you need? Do you need any food? Do you need any water?

Oh, man. This dude doesn’t deviate from the book at all.

You know, since you’re asking, I would love a Happy Meal,

you know, but… Make sure the toy is the sea monster,

'cause I already have the dragon.

Okay, okay, now what is it you really want?

Silence.

Hey, I’m sorry, mall’s closed,

but I can help you find the nearest exit if you just tell me where you parked.

Sweet mercy.

This is not happening, this is not happening, this is…

Oh, God. All right, think, Paul, think.

Now what are you trained to do?

Nothing.

Detect, deter, observe, report. I gotta report it. Reporting it.

Yo, we got a straggler.

- It’s a security guard. - What should we do?

I don’t know. Give up, I guess.

Guys, what is wrong with you? We stick to the plan.

We got a 911 operator connecting us with some guy named Paul Barth.

He says he’s a security officer in the mall.

Hey. Blart? He’s one of my guys.

Paul, this is Sergeant Howard of West Orange Police Department.

The mall has been taken over, and they have hostages.

I need you to exit the building immediately.

We don’t need any wild cards in this situation.

Copy that. Never been a wild card.

Unless you consider the game of Uno wild.

- Blart! Can we focus here, please? - Yes. Yes, sir. On my way out.

Okay, okay. Come on, don’t die. Don’t die.

Blart.

Don’t pee. Don’t pee.

Guys, motion detector just went off at Door 26. Everybody on it.

Amy.

What the hell is he doing? Come on!

- Paul, come on! - Paulie, come on!

- What’s he doing? - Come on, Blart!

Blart, come on!

- Let’s go! Move it! - Come on! Come on!

- Get out of there! - Come on!

Is he crying?

- I can’t leave her. - Where’s he going?

- Blart! - Where’s he going?

Blart, get back! Will you talk to him, please?

Blart, this is Brooks. What’s going on?

Sir, I took a sworn oath to protect this mall and all inside it.

What oath? We don’t have an oath.

I sort of made up my own. It’s on a plaque in my room.

Listen, I think you’re making a big mistake.

SWAT’s on the way.

And I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, you’re untrained, you’re unarmed,

and let’s face it, son, you present a huge target.

With all due respect, sir, I can’t observe and report from the outside.

Over.

Well, Sergeant, looks like you got your eyes on the inside.

Amy, Paul Blart here. Are you still in the mall?

Send.

Got him.

Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Think. Think. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think! Think!

Hold it together.

Heart of a warrior.

I missed lunch.

Thank you.

This isn’t happening, this is not happening.

Hey! Don’t make this hard.

You like that?

Brooks, I took out a girl, but the guy, he ran away.

- Wow, Paul, you got one. - Yes.

But let the record show, I did not hit a woman. I just…

I put all my weight on her.

Oh, Paul.

No, no, no. She’s fine, she’s fine.

Well, good, let’s get you out of there.

No can do, sir. I am gonna finish what I started.

What the heck is this?

Give me that.

Paul, this is Sergeant Howard again.

Since you refuse to come out, I’m gonna need you to go into the bank

and find out where they’re holding the hostages.

With honor, sir.

Good to know.

Hey, I haven’t heard back from Donner or Vixen.

Okay. I’m calling an audible here, everyone.

And I need to get this mall locked down from the inside immediately.

Why don’t we just start wasting hostages? That’ll stop them.

Well, that’s one way to go, but our hostages are the only thing keeping the cops outside.

I’m Commander Kent. My team is deploying. I need this location secured.

- We got a three-block perimeter… - Establish a perimeter

and get all these people out of here.

Whoa, whoa, this is all done already.

My men are gonna do it again, the right way.

Have your guys fall back, now. Have there been any demands?

- A Happy Meal and absolute silence. - Well, let’s make some noise.

I got snipers at the ready, communications in check.

Let’s tap into security now, and let’s get some visuals.

You can’t. They knocked out the video cameras.

I’ll be ready to take on-scene command in three, two, one. I’m in charge.

Brooks, I’m observing the bank now.

They got one assailant guarding the hostages.

There she is.

My, God. You are my angel pie.

Here come the love sweats.

Paul, your radio’s still on.

Roger that.

- What’s going on? Who is that? - We got a guy on the inside.

Don’t tell me one of your beat cops is trying to be a hero.

No, he’s neither. His name is Blart. He’s one of my security guards.

- Wait a minute. Blart? - Yeah.

- Paul Blart? - Yeah.

Are you kidding me? We used to abuse that loser in high school. Give me that.

Blart.

This is Commander James Kent. New Jersey SWAT.

We went to high school together. Remember?

I set you on fire at the pancake festival?

Oh, yeah. Hey, Jimmy.

Go Green Hawks.

Yeah, listen. I’ve got 50 highly trained, armed professionals out here.

At my command, we are retaking this location,

and there’s no way I’m compromising this mission so that some mall monitor

who used to eat lunch with his imaginary friend can screw it up.

Sorry, Jimmy, I had the button pressed. All I heard was “lunch” and “friend.”

Could you do me a favor and put Chief Brooks back on?

Listen to me, Blart,

you are no longer communicating with Chief Brooks. Is that clear?

Hello?

Yeah? Oh, hey, Paul, how you doing?

Well, it looks like they moved the hostages into the teller area.

I’m gonna get a closer look.

Veck.

There he is!

- Everyone in the back room, now! - Come on, move, move!

Let’s get in the back, huh?

Brooks. I lost visual on the hostages. I couldn’t get them out.

But I know who the leader is. It’s Veck.

Veck? The trainee?

- No. The brainee. - I don’t believe this.

I’ll pass it on to Howard.

Oh, God.

Trapped is fine by me.

Commence tanning. Three, two, one.

Yeah!

Yes!

Time for some big-game hunting.

Open, open, open! Thank God.

Oh, no.

Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! We get it!

Get him! Get him! Get him!

You better run.

- Rudolph, where are you? - I’m about to end this.

Amy, huh? What a coincidence.

We got a cute little redhead down at the bank named Amy.

- Strawberry blonde, actually. - Yeah?

Well, I guess I know who I’m killing first.

- Catch you later! - Yeah?

Well, it looks like you just ran out of mall.

It’ll be over quick. She won’t feel a thing.

You aren’t gonna touch her, but you are gonna feel this.

Nobody wins with a head butt.

- Give me your cell phone. - I don’t have one.

What are you talking about? Every kid has a cell phone.

I prefer handwritten sentiments.

Who are these sloppy joes for? And who gave you this?

They’re mine. I’m late for my shift at Foot Locker.

We’re getting the leader on the horn. He wants to talk to you.

Silence, my ass.

What’s the matter? Throw a few jabs your way,

you curl up in a corner, suck your thumb?

If you don’t go toe-to-toe with that scumbag,

he’s gonna roll over on you all night long.

It’s all right. That’s not my style.

Well, just in case, I wrote down a couple of clever comebacks, like…

Here.

This is what you been doing?

“Yeah, you and what army?”

- What’s wrong with that? - He has an army.

Everyone deserves a card on their birthday.

So when you and Rudolph were laughing it up back at the crib

about how easy all this was gonna be, were you guys like,

“Man, any brain-dead mall cop that gets in the way is gonna get smoked”?

And then… And then what? You guys all high-fived?

- Veck, this guard is… - Winning! I know this, because I am all set!

But sadly, no codes!

And I’d say, considering all the luxury items that I have stacked up

in my Amazon shopping cart, situation unacceptable!

No, no, no, no, no, no. He looking.

Give me a gun.

Put it down. Put it down.

What are you nodding about?

I was just wondering, were you serious about that Happy Meal?

It isn’t coming, is it?

What?

This is Commander James Kent, New Jersey SWAT.

You wanted to speak to me?

I just wanna make sure that no one does anything stupid.

You should know my men are deployed and ready to bring this thing to a resolution.

The easy way or the hard way.

That is such a tough call, but…

Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and go with C, none of the above!

I’m Amy, by the way.

- Amy? From unbeWEAVEable? - Yeah.

I’m Maya. My father talked forever about you.

And I gotta say, he really does like you.

I’m gonna throw up.

Oh, that’s not so bad.

Oh, my God.

They’ve got his daughter.

- Dad? - Maya.

- Everything’s gonna be okay. - How’s your blood sugar?

Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m worried about you.

I love you. All right, now, I’m gonna get you all out.

You just hang in there, okay, sweetie?

I will. I’m a Blart, remember?

Yeah. I’ll see you soon.

I’m supposed to be on my way to the Cayman Islands with the hostages.

And where the hell is Rudolph? He should be back by now.

“If Veck gets the codes, he’s taking us to Cayman Islands”?

Well, Veck Sims, welcome to the show.

Come and get me, Veck.

I got your codes for the credit-card machines.

- Yo, you hear that? That’s Paul, baby! - Blart?

That’s who’s been screwing all this up? You have got to be kidding me.

Give me a radio.

Let me tell you something.

You take hostages in my mall, you are making a big mistake.

You seriously undermissed…

And you seriously…

Oh, no!

Blart?

Sugar. Sugar.

Blart? You there, Blart?

Hello, Blart. You there?

Hey, Blart!

I was hoping we could get an ETA of when you’re gonna give up.

How about now?

I’ll meet you on the corner of Ne and Ver.

Yeah, you heard me. Never!

All right, Dad.

Hey, fellas! You looking for me?

Come on. Come on, come on. Come on.

Follow me.

There he is.

We got him trapped in Rainforest Cafe.

Great. Wait for me. You know, my mom always said,

“If you want something done right, waste the guy yourself.”

I’m paraphrasing, of course. You stay here.

Prancer, take the back.

Hey, you. Scuba Dooby-Doo.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Can I have my codes now, please?

Why? No codes, no Cayman Islands?

Looks like Paul Blart turned into quite the badass.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax.

No.

One thing I know is Paul Blart is not a badass.

Comet! Don’t come back till he’s dead!

Brooks. Only one more left. Then it’s just me and Veck.

Okay, who’s talking to Blart?

Was it you, sugar mouth?

All right. Let’s try this again.

Wait! No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

It’s her phone, it’s hers. She’s talking to him.

She’s talking to him, and I told her not to. And it’s under her leg.

The phone. Her right leg. Right there. That’s good.

Okay.

That was close.

He is a pro.

Listen, Blart, time’s up. We’re busting in.

Wait! Look, Veck’s after the credit-card codes, and I got them.

Just give me a few minutes.

No problem.

Isn’t that cute?

- Hey, Amy. I’m on my way. - Oh, hey, Blart.

Wow. Our boy Stuart just turned me on to your profile

on lonelyloser.com.

“Likes morning rain, walks on the beach.”

Who are you, Olivia Newton-John?

I was just speaking from the heart.

Yeah, well, I didn’t have to go online, Paul, to know that you love peanut brittle.

You’re so pathetic.

Trippy.

This I can use.

What do you want, Veck?

I just want the $30 million that I came here for.

But, you know, I would settle offing your dream girl, or maybe your daughter.

You touch them, I swear I’ll end you.

What’re you gonna do, Paul?

You gonna pull up with your left hip forward giving the illusion that you have a gun,

which you and I both know you don’t?

- I could. - You’re not gonna do squat.

The next time I see you, Paul, I’m gonna put a bullet in your head.

I don’t think so. I’m taking you down.

Blart!

Oh, Blart.

Sweet mercy.

I wish I had a bat. I would bust you open, see how much candy fell out.

- Too tight! - This is not happening.

- It’s not happening. - Come on.

Bravo. That was awesome.

And you were just so close to making it, too, Paul. Just so close.

- It’s not over yet. - Yeah, I think it is.

Now the only thing I need are my codes, which, judging from your text messages,

you have been so sweet as to enter them into your phone just for me.

You think I’m gonna carry the phone with me that actually contains the…

- Yello? - Peanut Blart and Jelly.

What’s up, man? So good to hear your voice.

Yeah, it’s good to hear your voice, too, Pahud.

Listen, I’m gonna have to call you back.

- What? When? - I don’t know when. I’ll talk to you later.

Okay, Paul, call me back! Call me back, Paul!

I mean, this just keeps getting better and better.

I mean, you are impossible to underestimate.

I mean, you can’t pass the trooper exam,

you black out if you don’t have a Snickers bar like every 20 minutes,

you had the chance to be the MVP, and you blew it.

Again, like you always do. Ain’t that right, Maya?

What do you want me to say, Veck? You’re smarter than me.

You’re good on computers, you kept your weight under control.

I mean, people, they look at me and you, and…

Yeah, it’s a landslide.

It’s no contest.

Sorry.

Right now, you’re the man with the gun.

So here you go.

Come on!

Go get him!

Go, Dad.

What…

Probably should have capitalized on that.

Dad!

Lock and load, boys. We’re going in.

Hey, we’re on the move.

Let’s go.

Come on, come on, come on.

Paul. Think, Paul. Think!

Let’s go, men. Take it down. Secure the suspects.

Get down!

Hold your fire! Hold your fire!

Down. The other one. That’s the back one.

No, no. That’s the same one. No! The other one!

Veck got away with my daughter and Amy.

Entry team, clear the mall. We’ll pursue.

Light.

Open the door.

Let’s do this.

Jimmy, give me your cell phone.

Gotta hand it to you, Blart. You’re really taking care of business.

What up?

Pahud, do you still have GPS on Parisa’s cell phone?

You know I do, Paul. You know I do. What can I do for you?

I need to know where it’s headed.

Paul, it looks like they’re on their way to McGuire Airfield.

I know where that is. Thanks.

Hang on.

My God. There they are. Jimmy, take the wheel.

What?

Here we go! Here we go!

That was me. I can’t…

Here I go! No!

Blart!

Don’t do it! Blart!

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Maya! Maya, get inside.

- Oh, God! - Dad!

Paul?

I really don’t drink.

Come on. Oh, yeah?

- Dad! - Come on.

Dad!

Man, that hypoglycemia is a killer.

I told you I’d take you down.

Blart!

Very impressive, taking down an assailant without a gun.

I hope you don’t mind if I use one.

What?

- Oh, no. - Oh, yeah.

I guess it’s off to the Cayman Islands then, huh?

Soon as I get my money.

Yeah, well, you’ll be needing this.

Just give it to him, Dad.

Oh, I will. Suck on that!

Okay. Situation update?

We have seven assailants in custody, sir.

- Great. Nobody talks to them but me. - Yes, sir.

You see, jackass? I don’t need the phone.

'Cause I got all the access codes written on their arm.

Now, I kill you three, there’ll be no witnesses.

And since everybody thinks this was a bank…

I got a newsflash for you. Your flight’s been canceled.

That’s better than anything I got.

You did good, Dad.

Yeah, I am pretty great.

You know, she doesn’t need a green card.

I don’t know what to say.

I have something I want to say to you.

Happy birthday, Amy.

I heard you applied to be a state trooper.

You say the word, my department would be proud to have you.

Thank you, sir. But I think I’m gonna stick with what I do best.

It’s protecting the people of the West Orange Pavilion Mall.

Special thanks

Submitted by : @ask-rubeus-hagrid

Al: i”M CRYING YES DANNY YES

#submission #ask-rubeus-hagrid #memes #paul blart #paul blart mall cop #yESSSS

26 notes · View notes

letscuttothefeeling · 4 years

Text

season three episodes nine & ten

Okay everyone, after a short hiatus, I’m back and ready to reenter the world of Siesta Key, much like Alex after his long-awaited return in episode three of this season. There’s a lot of ground to cover here, (over yonder and hither north), and a lot of bare ass to see. So let’s just cut to the feeling!

The summer’s third most important event on the Key, following closely behind Alex’s birthday which didn’t happen, and the Kompothecras Autism fundraiser which has yet to happen, is the Fourth of July. We all know how much the cast loves a themed bathing suit party and an excuse to take as many blueberry and watermelon Smirnoff Jello shots as possible, so this day is an honored tradition! But this year, we discover Juliette will not be participating in the annual debauchery. She’s under the impression that Alex and Alyssa will attend BG’s pool party, so in a rare moment of maturity (sorry Jules, but you know it’s true), she decides to work the holiday instead so that Blend, the boutique she works for, will be ready for its opening party. We love to see her contribute so thoroughly to Florida’s flourishing haute couture scene. But she’s mistaken – Alex and Alyssa are actually planning to head to Alyssa’s lake house in Georgia. (Go Dawgs! Sic em! Woof Woof!) Alyssa has invited Alex’s self-proclaimed “posse” consisting of JJ, Jared, Amanda, and Chloe. Her best friend Madi will also be there. I love being introduced to cast members’ friends because the company people keep is very telling of their overall aesthetic and vibe. Madi’s Instagram bio says that “chaos makes the muse,” and from that, I can assume that she’s a basic white girl who is obsessed with Show Me Your Mumu and uppers. How fitting!

Every girl who exclusively wears Show Me Your Mumu’s feed

While everyone is finalizing their FOJ plans, Madisson is enjoying a romantic evening at Ophelia’s On the Bay with Ish. This classic Siesta Key establishment is reserved for special occasions, so I’m already at the edge of my seat wondering what is going on in Ish’s shiny, bald head. Ish pulls a small jewelry box out of his pocket, and I’m breathlish. I mean, breathless. Is Ish going to propose?! Madisson’s face lights up, then falls when she sees the box has a necklish in it instead of a ring. Bummer! But rest assured, the jovial grin returns to Madisson’s face moments later when Ish asks her to move in with him! I mean, she’s quite literally giggling with excitement. Whatever happened to playing it cool? In fact, Madisson is SO jazzed that she suggests Ish come to lunch with her entire family soon, since her older sister, Paige will be in town. You may remember Paige as the girl who hooked up with both Pauly and Canvas, two major SK players. Fabulous track record. I can’t wait to see her again.

Country roads, take me home! We have arrived in Albany, Georgia and are ready to hit the lake and celebrate America! But before the celebration can begin, everyone must decide who is rooming with who. Chloe quickly nixes the possibility of Amanda rooming with JJ, and later chastises Amanda for even thinking about rooming with her toxic ex. Between you and me, Amanda looks quite peeved with her friend’s overbearing orders. After everyone gets settled, and Jared makes a connection with Alyssa’s friend Madi, Chloe walks inside and sees Alyssa shucking corn, something Alyssa apparently thinks only happens in the south, even though everyone literally everywhere who eats corn needs to shuck it. Alyssa confides in Chloe about Alex’s recent shuck up – his confession that he was on the phone with Juliette for six hours. Chloe lets it slip that Alex only admitted his wrongdoing to Alyssa after Chloe pushed him to do it, which makes Alyssa angry. She confronts Alex about it, and all I have to say is that if this is any indication of how Alex responds when presented with damning evidence, I do not want him representing me. He immediately gets defensive and angry at Chloe, and as much as I hate to admit it, Alyssa holds her own. She gets mad at Alex for attacking Chloe for simply telling the truth. Instead of just owning up to what he’s done wrong, Alex stammers out a half-apology and looks ready to fight Chloe. Oh no.

Cut to JJ and Amanda, grilling up some burgers and a hot conversation! After discussing their rekindled flame despite their tough past, Amanda tells JJ about another wrench in their road to romance – Chloe’s blatant disapproval. JJ looks really annoyed with the intrusion. I mean, he’s had to deal with BG, the fact that he cheated on Amanda multiple times already, and now this?! It’s so unfair. Speaking of BG, back on the Key, Brandon’s party is in full swing. You know what else is in full swing? The bare ass of a girl attending the party. Listen, I know the show loves to transition scenes by showing close-ups of scantily clad females, but this is just not something I can get behind. (Ha!) In all seriousness though, readers, please consider using something more than floss to cover your asshole if you ever find yourself on national television.

There’s more than one ass at this party, and her name is Kelsey. Sorry Kelsey stans, but this scene is just so violently cringe-worthy that I almost threw the remote at my screen. Kelsey can be so off-putting when she tries to flirt. But she’s hot and on a reality show so I’m not too worried about it. G Baby approaches Kelsey and asks her where “Jakey-poo” is. It’s worth noting that the robots controlling Garrett are becoming increasingly upsetting as well. Kelsey informs the Robot Garret that Jake is “over yonder, hither north” and then giggles/hiccups. I’m actually grimacing as I type this. Their nauseating display reminds me of why they’re actually perfect for each other. Foreshadowing, maybe? Kelsey then asks the question we’ve all been wondering – are Cara and Garrett still talking? Garrett says that they are not talking anymore, which is exactly what BG says about Amanda when Madisson asks. And as the fireworks explode in the night sky, I can’t help but think about the lack of fireworks in the love lives of our beloved cast.

Back at the lake, tensions are rising faster than the current unemployment rate. Chloe seems to be the common denominator in everyone’s annoyance, and at dinner, everything comes to a head. Looking directly at Chloe, Alex asks, “Chloe, I know you like hanging out with us, but are you more of a team Juliette girl?” Chloe warns him “not to go there,” but Alex keeps pushing, accusing Chloe of being “finnicky.” Alex Merriam- Webster Kompothecras back at it again with the BURNS! Nice try buddy, I guess they don’t have vocab in law school. (I believe Alex meant to say “fickle,” but let me know your thoughts.) Chloe fires back by asking Alex a question – why hasn’t he made things official with Alyssa yet? Future Lawyer Alex blesses us yet again with a genius rebuttal: “Why? Because… I’ve… learned that… you shouldn’t push things. And when… the time is right...” Chloe cuts him off by reiterating that Alex still continuously hits Juliette up. At this point, I feel so bad for Alyssa who is just sitting there like a vegetable. But before I can focus on how painfully awkward she must feel, Amanda randomly starts butting in and yelling at Chloe for inserting herself in everyone else’s relationships. Chloe inserting herself in other people’s lives is literally the core theme of the show. Please get over it. Amanda keeps yelling because she’s clearly annoyed with Chloe’s criticism of JJ, and as JJ sits there, harrowingly silent, Chloe tells Amanda to fuck off and storms out of the lake house. Let’s all pray she didn’t drive home. The night isn’t all bad though – after the fight, Jared ends up sealing the deal with Madi, who insists that she “usually doesn’t do this on the first night.” Okay, sweetie. After Jared is unable to perform, the night, which began on an explosive note ends on a rather underwhelming one.

The fourth may be over, but the aftermath from the day remains. And what better way to catch up on the day’s events than over lunch? As Chloe meets up with Juliette to explain what happened at the lake, Madisson takes Ish to meet up with her entire family and break her news to them. I predict that while Chloe and Juliette’s lunch will go swimmingly, Madisson and Ish’s lunch will turn sour quickly. And I’m right! Juliette drinks in every last detail of Chloe’s public fight with Alex. I’m proud of her for steering clear of the drama this time, but I’m not naïve. Juliette can only be on the Key drama-free for so long. Let’s check in with Madisson. As anticipated, this is not going well. After Madisson’s mom asks if she is pregnant, and Madisson’s Dad refuses to acknowledge that she and Ish are anything but “just friends,” Madisson tells her family that she plans to move to Los Angeles with Ish. They appear less than pleased. It is a stark contrast from Madisson’s giddy reaction when he initially proposed the idea. Ish gently reminds her family that while Madisson would like their blessing, she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. He knows their situation is “so unique”, but hopes they will grow to accept their relationship. Paige, Madisson’s sister, breaks her silence. While Madisson was hoping she might be an ally for their relaysh, she turns out to be team parent. “Unique…?” Paige questions. “Isn’t this more of a cliché? The old Hollywood producer sleeping with the actress…” Ouch! And here I thought her father was the harsh one!

While Madisson’s relationship becomes increasingly rocky, Alex decides to take things up a notch with Alyssa. During a bizarre conversation in which he essentially admits that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend, Alex seals the deal with Alyssa and asks her to be official. I wonder what prompted him to take the next step! Could it have been Chloe point-blank asking him why he hadn’t made things official with Alyssa the night before? We may never know. Regardless, Alyssa accepts the clearly sincere offer and Siesta Key has a new power couple. “Wait,” you might be thinking. “New power couple? But what about Ish and Madisson?” Oh, thanks for the reminder. Alex and Alyssa are only able to overthrow this couple because…they’re done. Gasp! In a shocking scene, Ish breaks up with Madisson on national TV. If I’m Madisson, a stunning 25-year-old girl who is D-List famous and kind of intelligent, I’m furious. How dare my old, overweight ex-producer dump my ass in front of all of America. But after Ish says he needs space and doesn’t think they should be together, Madisson just starts to softly cry and runs off-screen, away from her now ex-Father ex-boyfriend. I am torn because I know that Ish means well. It’s like that time in Stephanie Meyer’s classic American novel, New Moon. When Edward realizes that his relationship with Bella puts her safety and ability to lead a normal life at risk, he knows he must leave her. Even if it’s the last thing he wants to do. He must act out of selfless love. Eventually, though, he comes back to Bella…we can only hope for the same fate for Dadisson.

Speaking of exes, let’s check in on everyone’s least favorite exes, Boring Robby and Juliette! Boring Robby is throwing some sort of strange soirée, and it’s a little awkward that Juliette is there considering the last time these two saw each other it ended rather abruptly. But Juliette, on a mature streak, pulls Boring Robby aside and apologizes for the harsh convo. She invites him to the Blend opening as a peace offering, and even though he accepts, Boring Robby can’t help but push for a few more answers. He asks Juliette why she would ever say she loved him, and Juliette responds by explaining that while she did love him, she wasn’t in love with him, because she felt like he was “fatherly.” Okay y’all, you’ve heard of getting friend-zoned, but today we’re introducing you to a new dating trend, getting “dad-zoned!” She ends the talk by saying that she’s ready to make her own decisions without the influence of any man. Yas kween! The only other notable thing that happens at this party is that Garrett refers to himself as the “G-Slanger,” which to me, is really thrilling.

But not everyone is dartying today. Despite their blowout, business aficionados Chloe and Alex must meet at the Crescent Club to “work.” Before they hit the books, Chloe expresses her frustration with Alex. She explains that Alex is now doing the same thing Juliette did at the beginning of the summer. He’s mad at Chloe for continuing to be friends with Juliette. And WHY can’t she be friends with both!? Alex vehemently denies this claim but agrees that they need to find a way to smooth things over with everyone. On a more somber note, Jake comes over to Kelsey’s house and tells her that his father passed away, so he needs to return home. He also breaks things off with her. :( One of those rare actually intense moments in this show.

Blending business and pleasure never works, so when Alex shows up at Blend’s sign hanging, Juliette looks less than amused. Instead of gearing up for the opening party that night, Alex whisks Juliette away from her boss and coworker to have a chat with her. The chat goes absolutely nowhere – they’re literally talking in circles, saying the same things we’ve heard for three seasons. Juliette tells Alex she’s going to pretend like he doesn’t exist, and Alex responds with a menacing smile and says, “see you later.” I’m scared.

It’s time for the official opening of Blend! While I’m still confused as to how they were able to pull it together in time when Juliette went to Greece instead of helping out, I’m so proud of Juliette, Juliette’s random friend Kelly, and Juliette’s bitchy boss Courtney. Great job, ladies! Everyone seems to be having a good time until Alex and Alyssa waltz in. The party crashers, making their debut as an official couple, make their way across the venue. But while Alyssa passes Boring Robby without a second glance, Alex, who has yet to see his “ex-friend who dated his ex-girlfriend,” stops in front of Boring Robby and flicks him on the face. If I’m Alyssa, I’m breaking up with Alex then and there. He might as well take the microphone and scream “I’M NOT OVER JULIETTE” into it. But of course, Alyssa turns the other way and pretends to barely notice it. Boring Robby is still visibly reeling from the flick. Even though he’s trying to pretend like it was funny, you can tell he’s taken aback. Alex approaches him AGAIN, slaps him on the ass, and threatens to “knock [his] fake-ass teeth out.” In true Boring Robby fashion, he simply walks away, refusing to engage and keeping things as boring as possible. Luckily, Boring Robby’s spunky friend Joe is there to keep the reality show on track and talk a lot of shit. He starts by flipping Alex off and saying that Alex “hides behind his money.” Alex responds by bringing up Robby’s penis size. Maybe we’ve gotten it wrong this whole time. Maybe Alex is really into Boring Robby, and is mad at Juliette for getting in the way. Eventually, Alex lunges at Joe and threatens to fight him. As a future lawyer, Alex should know better than to physically attack anyone in public, specifically someone who is a literal walking hate crime, but then again, Alex isn’t known for his intelligence.

The next day, Kelsey heads to Boring Robby’s to make sure her job is still secure in light of all of the chaos that has ensued. (Remember that he’s randomly her boss, lol.) He assures her that all is okay, and has no problem with “continuing to use and abuse her.” I don’t think he got that quote from his collection of bizarre inspirational sayings, but it still made me cringe just the same. When Kelsey brings up the fight, Robby describes it as “par for the course.” I cannot get enough of his expressions! They’re never-ending! Later, when Juliette checks on Boring Robby to make sure he’s okay after the fight, he also assures her that he’s okay, that the fight was “par for the course,” and that “some zebras never change their stripes.” I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Boring Robby is truly the Confucius of our generation.

In the wake of the big fight, Chloe, resident shit-stirrer, is more determined than ever to mend all of the strife in her friend group (that she primarily caused.) Summoning her inner Mother Teresa, Chloe sends out a text to her friends demanding they meet up to hash things out. The text ends with a sweet message – “YOU ARE REQUIRED TO BE THERE SO I DON’T WANT ANY FUCKING EXCUSES.” Chloe certainly knows the way to people’s hearts!

In the final scene of this lengthy, two-episode extravaganza, we see the OG crew plus Jared at a bonfire. It’s nice to see all of the original cast together. Madisson kicks off the meeting by explaining how important everyone is to her. She breaks down, detailing how badly she needs a support system since her family hasn’t been there for her and Ish is gone. Chloe quickly glazes over the heartfelt cry for help and changes the direction of the conversation towards Alex and Juliette. As she tries to get them to see eye to eye, a very wasted Juliette calls Alex a “piece of shit” while Alex laughs in her face and tells her to go “bob her head” in the corner. I hate myself for laughing, but Juliette definitely nods her head weirdly when drunk. They peel off and have an emotional conversation that everyone can hear, and it ends with Alex holding a sobbing Juliette, assuring her that he would jump in front of a bullet for her. I don’t know about you, but I probably wouldn’t be chill with my boyfriend doing that with (or for) his ex. Either way, at least they aren’t screaming at each other.

The episode ends with Brandon announcing a trip to Nashville. He’s going to record a song and wants to bring everyone along for a vacation. The two-part finale will take place in Nashville, and I cannot wait. In the words of Alex Kompothecras, future lawyer, “Sara-nara!” See y’all in Nashville next week!

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taizi · 7 years

Text

If the Creek Don’t Rise (3/3)

‘verse: Mostly IDW, some elements of 2k12

Pairings: Rasey, Woody/Mikey, Ramona (past)—and a few more may be implied down the road, we’ll see brief mentions of Leosagi.

Summary: In which Raphael and Michelangelo are UCLA students and bring some friends home to South Dakota for Thanksgiving, where Donatello plays matchmaker, Casey becomes a horticulture enthusiast, Woody has great taste in art, and Raphael fakes an engagement.

Notes: This is an AU I started writing for @tmntflashfic’s first theme ‘beginnings.’ It’s very loosely based off the old Pauly Shore movie “Son in Law,” and I’ll thank y'all not to judge me for that. <3 This AU is not to be taken seriously, so please don’t take it too seriously. It got longer than I anticipated, so I cut it into three parts.

Titled after something my nana always says, “If the lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise,” which just means that as long as nothing unexpected happens, everything will go to plan.

THE FINAL PART IS FINALLY HERE

(Story tag)

Raphael was one-hundred and fifty percent certain his life was over.

His brothers kept throwing him bewildered looks, staring between him and Casey as though trying to form a connection that wasn't there. Going over what they knew in a new light, and drawing lines between every interaction they had seen so far and the bombshell Casey dropped on essentially the entire town, and wrapping their minds around the idea of Raph and Casey actually being Raph And Casey.

“I need some air,” Raph said abruptly over Leo's fourth attempt to draw him into conversation, standing up so sharply that he bashed his knee into the tabletop and rattled the glassware. “Shi – shoot. Sorry. Jones, you wanna come with me? For some air?”

“Dude, the food’ll be here soon.”

Raph's murderous intent probably showed on his face, because Mikey stood up a second later. “I'll go with you guys.”

“Oh, god, please don't leave me here,” Woody said very quietly, scrambling out of his chair to follow them.

Which is how Raph found himself pacing the parking in the warm country night air, hands folded into tight fists at his side. Woody and Mikey were sharing a cement parking block, sitting with their knees folded up by their chins and watching Raph's back-and-forth march with solemn eyes. Casey was leaned against the wall without a care in the world, and it made Raph want to grab him by the shirt and shake him.

“That was your move?” he bit out. “Faking an engagement? Jesus Christ, Jones!”

“Hey, I didn't see any of you comin' up with any brilliant ideas,” he shot back with a scowl. “And it ain't like I had days to think it over!”

“C'mon, Raphie, it's not Casey's fault,” Mikey interjected before Raph could give voice to any one of numerous scathing retorts. He looked pale and worried for him, face a wash of tired yellow from the buzzing streetlight overhead. “We were all pretty much put on the spot back there. At least the thing with Lisa is taken care of.”

“Okay, but this is – ”

“A lot better,” Woody said calmly. When Raph cut a glance at him, he added, “You're in complete control of the situation now. When we get back to your place, we'll explain the whole thing. Just play it cool through dinner, alright?”

“Yeah!” Mikey piped up, looking exhaustively relieved. He tilted a shining look Woody's way. “There's nothing to worry about, bro, we'll sort this out first thing once we're home.”

Except that the first thing that happened once they got home was Leo, successfully cornering Raph alone on the back porch. Woody shot him a sympathetic glance over Leo's shoulder but ultimately abandoned him to his older brother's mercies in favor of following Mikey around like a second shadow. Goddammit.

“Dude,” Raph headed him off, “it's been a night, okay, just – ”

“Look, I know you don't want to talk about it,” Leo said with a firm hand on Raph's arm, curtailing his attempts to get the hell out of dodge. But it was less that and more the earnest look in his wide almond eyes that kept Raph's feet rooted reluctantly to the floor. “I know that you probably had planned to tell us the news while we were together for the holidays, and I'm really sorry Elizaveta made it necessary for you to announce your engagement the way you did.”

Raph wanted to sink through the floor and disappear for maybe the rest of his life. Hoarsely, he said, “Leo, that's not – ”

“Just hear me out,” his big brother insisted, and somehow his expression only got more sincere. “I've – been texting you a lot recently about a guy I met on campus. Usagi. Remember?”

Raphael hazarded a nod, and shifted so that Leo's grip on his wrist was less of a grab and more of a hold. Leo nodded back, as though he needed the encouragement, and took a deep breath.

“I like him,” he blurted, cheeks coloring. “I like him a lot.”

Oh.

“Oh,” Raph said, eyes huge in his face. Leo was still nodding, looking equal parts panicked to have said it out loud and relieved to part with the confession. He was staring at Raph like Raph had all the power to destroy him with a single word or harsh look, and Raph found he didn't care for that shit at all. “Look, man, that's – whatever, you know? You didn't really think we'd care, did you?”

“I don't know,” Leo said quietly, letting go of Raph's arm. “I mean – I told myself I was being stupid, but – ”

Raph could feel himself start to frown thunderously at the idea that Leo could tote around the ridiculous concept that his family's love for him was conditional. And maybe it was a little hypocritical, since the same quiet worries had circled Raph's head, too, back when he was first irreparably charmed by the most obnoxious roommate in the history of UCLA – but at the same time, it was different. It was Leo.

“Hell yeah, you were being stupid. Look, as long as he's a good guy, as long as he doesn't – ” He thought of Bradford and the end of Mikey's sophomore year and abruptly saw red. Thought of the man Leo had his eye on doing anything similar, and his fists clenched so hard it hurt. “ – hurt you, y'know, in whatever way, then it don't matter. Not a lick. And our brothers and dad and Uncle L will all tell you the same thing. You know they will.”

There was a sheen to Leo's eyes that looked like it might be tears, but he chuckled warmly. Rubbed his face with the sleeve of his shirt and hitched up a smile so wide it probably could have left a permanent impression.

“Well – that's why I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “To say thanks.”

Something close to dread pooled in the pit of Raph's stomach. “Thanks?”

“Yeah. I was scared, but you made it less scary. You've always been so much braver than me.”

Fearless Leo's eyes shone for a split second before he moved forward a swift step and tugged Raph into a solid hug. They were about the same height, Raph realized dimly, and wondered when that had happened. It was autopilot to put his arms around Leo in turn, and he only got squeezed tighter for his troubles.

“I’m going to talk to father before I go back to school. Thanks, Raph, really.”

Raph closed his eyes, and allowed himself an inward and heartfelt, Fuck.

"There is no fucking way we can call it off now,” Raph said, waving his hands wildly. “No fucking way.”

He had called an Immediate Emergency Meeting, which was why they were all clustered in the back shed, AKA Mikey’s childhood art studio. The overhead light was still swinging from the fifth time Casey had smashed his head into it, and subsequently Casey was rubbing his forehead and cussing under his breath.

Similarly, Woody was only half-listening; eyes roving the room like he was trying to commit ever inch of the dust-covered space to memory, lingering on old painted canvases and listing sculptures like there was treasure to be found among them.

Raph had Mikey’s full attention at least. His little brother was perched on the workbench, watching him with wide, worried hazel eyes.

“Well,” he said slowly, “it’s still okay. We’ll just ride this thing out, y’know? I mean, we’re only gonna be here for the rest of the week, right? And then when we go back to school everything will go back to normal, you can call and say the two of you broke it off or something. Right?”

“I -- yeah, I mean.” Raph ran an agitated hand through his hair, forcing himself to calm down. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

Mikey beamed at him, tension easing out of his shoulders. Raph was unspeakably grateful, for the millionth time in his life, that he could always count on having Mikey on his team. Things never seemed as bad with him around.

“So you and Case just gotta act couple-y until then! No problem!”

Casey snorted, and Woody whipped around with a delighted expression. “’No problem’? Mikester.”

“What? What’d I say?”

Raph prayed that the shitty lighting in Mikey’s shed would be enough to hide the way his face turned red. From the coy look on his little brother’s face, and the amused look on Woody’s, he knew that was probably a fool’s hope.

Casey was still rubbing his forehead but he was watching Raph closely now, with something measured and thoughtful in his eyes.

Later, in the relentless quiet of Raph’s bedroom, the scattered feet between his bed and Casey’s cot seemed to stretch into miles. It was nothing like their first night there -- nothing like every night for the past few months in their dorm room at school -- when they could stay up and talk about anything, cradled safely in the dark as they learned to navigate each other’s pitfalls.

It was uncomfortable. The learned familiarity was gone. Raph was grasping for it at the corners.

Casey’s cot creaked as he rolled over, and his voice drifted through the space between them cautiously.

“Raph? You awake?”

With the blanket pulled up around his ears, Raphael pretended not to be.

Raph went slinking out of the house early the next morning. He waved to Uncle L when he passed him in the kitchen, put together a quick breakfast of leftovers out of the fridge, and crept out the side door into the yard while the sky was still more dark than light.

Father would have started the chores already. Raph wouldn’t see him until lunch. He wanted to talk -- it’s obvious he wanted to talk -- but he had always given his kids the whole of his faith, and probably trusted Raph to come and find him on his own when he was ready.

Fat chance of that.

Hiding in the horse barn, Raphael leaned against the wall and put his head in his hands and tried very hard not to lose his collective shit.

If the thing with Lisa wasn’t bad enough, now he’s fake dating a guy he wants to actually date, and it’s fake going really well, apparently, because they’re fake planning to get married.

He suckered himself into this situation in the first place, inviting Casey along for the visit home, but the kicker is he can’t even really bring himself to regret it. Not when the alternative would have been Casey on his own back in California.

He’s had a good time, Raph thought, and didn’t want to take a moment of it back.

“Yo,” Casey said abruptly, drawing Raph’s head up sharply. His sleep-touseled friend was in the wide doorway of the barn, looking distinctly unimpressed with him and the world and wakefulness in general. “Are you seriously avoiding me? Weak as hell, man.”

Raph could only stare at him, trying to find his footing in this conversation he was desperately unprepared for. Casey took pity on him after a moment and gestured over his shoulder.

“My buddy showed me where you were. I named her Chompy by the way, on account of the hole she chewed into my shirt the other day.”

Raph followed his hand to the fence opposite the barn, where the newest addition to the family sheep was gazing dolefully at them through the gap in the wooden posts. He blinked, and looked back at Casey, and said, “You can’t name Mikey’s sheep Chompy. That’s a stupid name.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re all named after like, artists and shit. Okay, fine in keeping with family tradition, she can be Chompy Picasso.”

“No. Just -- no. I’m gonna. Hold on.”

He dug his cell phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Mikey; who was probably still up at ass o’clock in the morning after having not gone to bed in the first place in favor of a sci-fi movie marathon with Don and Woody.

Sure enough, Raph got a reply almost immediately.

To: Mike case is tryin to name ur lamb chompy picasso

From: Mike !!!! thats the best name EVER tell him thx omfg

“Okay, well, it’s official,” he said, pocketing his phone again. “I don’t know any of you. You’re all total strangers. Get out of my house.”

“Pfft. That makes this engagement a little weird, don’t it?”

Raph didn’t flinch, but it was a close call, and he jerked his eyes away to stare at the wall, and then the ground. He didn’t want to talk about, didn’t know why he thought he could avoid it, wanted for there to be a way to go back and face Lisa from the beginning the way he should’ve -- the way she deserved -- instead of hiding from the situation like a coward.

He should have --

“Raph,” Casey barked, “stop freaking out, Jesus Christ!” His tone was sharp, but mostly without anger, and the steps forward he took were hurried. “I’ll slap you in the face to snap you out of it like in every bad Lifetime movie you’ve ever seen, don’t even try me.”

“You don’t watch Lifetime movies.”

“Fuck you, you don’t know what I watch.” Casey punched him in the shoulder, just hard enough to leave a residual ache there after his fist fell away. “And I don’t know what bullshit is running through your head right now, but we’re fine. This whole thing was my fault, and I’ll deal with it. So quit acting like the world’s comin’ to an end, you moron.”

Raph risked a glance up at him, disbelieving. Casey looked ready to throw another punch, agitated in a restless way that spoke more of worry than anything else.

And Raph felt like a moron.

“Fuck. Case, look -- “

But they were both interrupted by the dark head of a dapple grey stallion as it leaned over the door of its stall to see what all the commotion was about. It flicked an ear and shook out its mane before craning a long neck over to inspect Casey curiously.

“Holy shit,” Casey said, completely side-tracked as he stared at the approaching horse with wide eyes. “There’s a monster in your barn.”

“This is Spike.” Raph patted him fondly. “He’s nosy.”

“Yeah, I’ll say.” Casey put out his hands cautiously, and Spike leaned his nose into the cradle of his palms, snuffling wetly around for treats. “Ew,” Casey added, delighted.

Raph watched them for a minute, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So,” he ventured, “we’re good?”

“Yeah, man. We’re good. Unless you keep acting like an idiot, goddamn.”

Spike lipped at the hem of Casey's shirt affectionately. Casey squawked, and Raph's heart did a complicated flip in his chest.

Raph's brothers, and his father, and his uncle all approved of Jones, whether the knew the full truth about the situation or not—but it was something else, something important, that his horse approved of him, too.

Fake dating, he reminded himself viciously, knowing already that the reminder wouldn’t stick.

The day before Thanksgiving, there was a big dance hosted at the rec center for the young adult crowd. The six of them took Uncle L’s truck, tired of being cooped up at the farm, and if the drinks provided weren’t spiked Raph would spike them his damn self.

“You see Lisa anywhere?” he asked, leaning against the wall next to Casey with a cup of warm punch.

“Am I s’posed to be lookin’ for her?”

“I owe her an explanation."

“You don’t owe anybody shit, bro, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

On Raph’s other side, Donnie straightened so abruptly that it got Casey, Raph and Leo’s -- from the other side of the refreshments table -- attention all at once. And before any of them had a chance to so much as open their mouths, he was pushing off the wall and striding through the crowd with vicious intent, looking ready to steamroll any number of people out of his way.

“What the heck,” Leo said, frowning. He was searching the room for the source of Donnie’s sudden beeline, and found it moments before Raph did.

Something ice-cold and toothed reared its ugly head in the pit of Raph’s chest at the sight of Bradford dragging his little brother out the back door. With a bitter taste in the back of his throat, he dropped his cup and shoved his way across the dance floor after Leo.

The back was for deliveries, with a wide gravel drive and a small storage shed. It was much quieter and darker out there, where the lights and the music and the dull roar of conversation from the party they had left behind were distant and muted.

Donnie was boxed in the doorway, frozen, with a hand over his mouth. Leo all but picked him up and moved him out of the way, face dark with furious fear, but after a second to take in the scene, he was motionless, too.

“What the fuck,” Raph blustered, shoving past, “move, don’t just -- “

“Holy shit,” Casey said from behind him.

Bradford was crumpled on the ground, a bloody hand trembling over his broken nose. His lettermen’s jacket was stained with it, his cronies standing well back, and Woody was lowering his hands as Raph put the pieces of the scene together into a cohesive picture.

Holy shit was right.

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Woody said mildly, eyes cold as he looked Bradford over. “I really don’t want to have to tell you again.”

He looked like he really wanted to have to tell him again.

Reaching out without looking away from Bradford for a second, Woody gathered Mikey up under his arm, curling the smaller blond in tight against his side. Mikey’s eyes were wide but it was wonder in his face, and the beginnings of delight, and any shadow of that awful misery from moments earlier was burned completely away.

“Dude,” he whispered adoringly, “You’re a ninja.”

Woody’s icy expression gentled for him, almost absurdly, and if Raph looked to his left he’d see Donnie looking smug as shit at having been right about something no one else could have guessed from the very beginning, again. “Something like that. My aunt’s an MMA fighter. She taught me a lot. I took lessons for a few years, too.”

“Holy cats! Woody! That’s, like, maximum rad!”

Grinning down at him, Woody said, “Anyway, weren’t we about to go dance?”

With a gasp, Mikey snatched up his hand and tugged him back toward the door. He looked surprised to see his brothers there, but he greeted them with a smile that didn’t shake, and Donnie touched Woody’s arm for a moment of exhaustive, wordless thanks.

Woody shook his head with a stubborn glint in his eye, squeezing Mikey’s hand tighter.

“Message received,” Leo said with a grin, and Raph watched Donnie take a mean delight in locking the back door behind them when they returned to the party. Not that he was worried about Bradford showing his ugly face anywhere near Mikey again anytime soon. He owed Woody a drink or ten for that.

“Dude,” Casey said, “what the hell is up with that guy? Why’s he got it in for Mike?”

There was a wet floor sign and a disgruntled janitor cleaning up the spilled drinks Raph and his brothers left behind earlier. Raph went in search of a new spot to stand in.

“You know the movie Carrie?”

“Sure.”

“Same deal. Except instead of pig blood there at the end, Bradford got him up on stage in the middle of the homecoming dance and outed him in front of god and everybody.”

“Jesus fuck.”

“I got suspended that night for two weeks for beating the shit out of Bradford, but dad gave the principal so much hell she brought it down to one.” Glancing sidelong at Casey, Raph added, “Mikey got bullied after that, bad. Not for long, I mean, he doesn’t have three big brothers for nothing. But it left a mark on him, y’know, it really did some damage.”

“You think Woody knew?”

“I dunno. I didn’t tell him. And Mikey doesn’t talk about it. Anyway, I don’t think it matters. Anyone who looks at Mikey cross-eyed is gonna have fuckin’ Bruce Lee to deal with, and I’m more than fine with that.”

It wasn’t hard to find them on the dance floor, swinging each other around wildly and laughing louder than the band could play. The Mikey of two years ago wouldn’t recognize himself if he could see it, Raph thought. Dancing close with another boy in front of their whole small-minded town like there wasn’t a single goddamn thing to be ashamed of.

That night, warm with the alcohol they picked up on the way home and groggy, Raph fell into bed with his clothes on. Barely a minute later, hands were shoving at his chest and shoulder, and Casey was muttering, “Scoot over, dude, I’m not sleeping on that fucking thing anymore.”

At three a.m. it made sense, and Raph rolled over to make room for him.

A rooster call woke him up scant hours later, and he blinked painfully through a hangover into the weak sunlight beginning to poke its fingers through the windows of his bedroom.

His arm was slung over Casey’s waist. Casey was drooling on his shoulder. His head hurt too much to process either of those things.

“Yer thinkin’ too loud,” Casey muttered softly, the words wincing and whispered. “Too hungover for that shit.”

“Case -- “

“I swear to god -- “

“No, listen,” Raph was saying stupidly. “I don’t want to fake date you. It’s driving me insane, I don’t want to do it anymore. So that’s why we should -- “

With a soft cuss, Casey jerked upright. Raph had exactly one second to worry before his roommate was clambering on top of him, straddling his waist with a twisted comforter between them and leaning down with tangled hair and blurry eyes to kiss Raph quiet.

It worked like a charm -- Raph shut right up. Casey kissed him for a lot longer anyway. Relentless, like there was something to make up for. Whatever it was, Raph was happy to give it, digging his fingers into his grip on Casey’s arms, keeping him as close as he could until the last possible moment.

To: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX sorry abt dinner the other night. sorry about a lot of stuff.

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX Forgiven.

To: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX next time i visit ill make it up to you. promise

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX You will do no such thing. Next time, I will make it up to /you/. I owe you that much.

From: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX And I hope you’ll introduce me to your fiance. I would like to meet him.

Contact saved as “Mona Lisa.”

“What are you smilin’ about?” Casey mumbled without lifting his head, word salad all but lost against Raph’s collarbone.

“How do you know I’m smiling, you creep?”

“C’n just tell. What’s up?”

Raph set his phone aside, and pushed a hand through Casey’s hair.

“Wanna come home with me again for Christmas?”

“Pretty sure I have a standing invitation from your entire family to crash all your holiday get-togethers, loser.” He slung an arm across Raph’s waist and yawned. “Welcome to the married life. No getting rid of me now.”

“We aren’t married, dumbass.”

“Fuck you, go back to sleep.”

The two of them in one bed was a tight fit, but the cot was all the way across the room, they were still existing on the tender plane of the very barely not hungover anymore, and it seemed like a waste to sleep so far apart anyway.

On Thanksgiving Day, three things happen:

Mikey fucking outdoes himself, to literally no one’s surprise, and the food is fantastic. He and Woody hold hands through most of the meal, and Raph and Donnie share a wry look when father surreptitiously passes Leatherhead, who has better lighting from his side of the table, the digital camera.

Leo comes out to the rest of the family, and it goes more or less exactly the way Raph thought it would. Leo's face is a pleased pink as he swipes through his phone at Mikey’s tireless demands for pictures of Usagi.

Raph clears his throat halfway through dessert and manages to meet his father’s eyes when he says, “There’s something I need to tell all of you. About the, uh. Engagement. See, we were -- Case and I, we were never really -- “

“ -- sure about the wedding date,” Casey cuts in smoothly, claiming a third slice of pumpkin pie. “We figured we’d put things on hold, you know, till we’re done with school, at least. No sense rushing in, right?”

Mikey and Woody are grinning across the table at him. Casey is grinning around a mouthful of pie. Raph throws his last vestiges of caution to the wind and grins right back.

#tmnt idw #tmnt 2k12 #rasey #woodyangelo #my writing #fake engagement au #i accidentally posted this like 5 times will typing it up dlgjghakjdgh #**while #anyway glad its finally over lmao sorry it took this long #also its 4am so if something in this chapter is awry now u know why #tmnt fic

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