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shurisneakers · 3 years

Text

shut in [7]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, implied abuse, death, implied ptsd, injuries, broken bone, origami and paper planes

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: ONE MORE WEEK !!!!!!!!! ONE MORE WEEK !!!!!!!! also gif is somewhat related except steve isn’t there sorry to crush any hopes

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Is there a reason you’re back so early?”

Both of the men nervously glanced at each other, silently urging the other to talk. A quiet form of encouragement.

“We chec- we checked all the neighbouring towns. All your safehouses,” one of them finally sputtered up after his partner elbowed him in the ribs.

“And?”

“We coordinated with all our guys across the country to look for them-”

“All I’m hearing are a bunch of excuses,” they twirled the gun on its barrel like it was a plaything. “Get to the point.”

“No one knows where they’re hiding,” he finished, swallowing thickly. “We’re still looking though. We just thought-”

“What?” their voice was surprisingly calm. “That your little status update would impress me? That I’d feel sorry for you for working so hard?”

“N-no boss,” his partner finally pitched in, saving face for his companion who opened and shut his mouth wordlessly. “Just keeping you in the loop. We’re close, I can feel-”

“Do you remember what I told you the last time you were here?”

Both of them shut their mouths immediately. Knuckles white, nails digging into their skin as they clenched their fists shut.

“That you wanted them dead,” the first one said with faux confidence. A waver in his voice gave it away.

“Yes, but you’re forgetting the important part,” they tsk’ed, shaking their head, eyes downcast.

They didn’t give anyone a chance to react. They slammed the gun down, swiftly picking it up before taking aim at his partner’s face.

“I said I’d blow your brains out.” They pulled the trigger.

Bits of bone fragment and blood splattered across the first agent’s face. He inhaled sharply, chest rising and falling haphazardly. He had his eyes shut tightly, face away from the carcass slumped over next to him..

“I want every fucking part of this country searched,” they roared, throwing the gun to the side carelessly, leaving someone else to scurry after it. “And since it’s so fucking hard for you to finish two tasks, just get me their location.”

The agent barely nodded, looking like he was about to throw up. His partner’s blood trailed down the side of his face like sweat.

“I’ll kill them myself.”

Hugh Grant was starting to look less appealing on your 6th rewatch of Notting Hill. In fact, he was starting to blend together with the characters from Die Hard and it was becoming difficult to differentiate which part belonged to which movie.

Sam sat opposite to you at the dining table, a set of papers assigned in front of him. The TV was left on, serving as background noise and occasional fillers to substitute the lack of conversation.

“That movie is not making sense anymore,” he stated objectively.

“It stopped after the third time for me.” Your words were hushed, your focus remaining on the swan you were trying to create from scratch.

“If I hear her say ‘I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy’ one more time, I actually think I’ll projectile vomit.” You could tell that his eyes didn’t shift from the screen though. “I can feel the bile. It’s going to happen.”

You only hummed in agreement, more interested in his lamenting than the actual movie.

Although origami wasn’t one of the skills you picked up in the fucking mafia, you still knew a few basic things. The rest you just folded with confidence and prayed it would work.

What other options did you have when you were stuck together in a house with no WiFi?

Sam had made a paper bowl to hold the car keys and the few dollars you picked up from Pierce’s place. It looked like it would fall apart at any given moment, its structural integrity questionable at best.

You had made a small flower that rested on the table in front of you. You were sure it would go missing the minute a draft entered the room.

He had given up after his contribution of the bowl. Apparently his creative expertise extended only towards that and paper airplanes, not that that stopped him. He was folding and manufacturing them with a vengeance.

“How is this supposed to help, Wilson?” you questioned, unable to contain the smile that grew on your face at the sheer number of planes he was making.

“Just because it’s not a decorative marvel-” he shot back in its defence, “-doesn’t mean it’s useless.”

“Oh, yeah? What else can it do other than not fly?” You watched as he launched one of them. It did a loop before falling miserably to the floor.

“Hey, you can put a message in it. Maybe one of those button trackers, a microphone. The possibilities are endless.” He laughed, folding another one out of the limited supply of paper he had left. “Besides, your thing won’t even lift off the ground.”

“Yeah, but this one can float.” You held up the swan that you had created. That about concluded your knowledge of origami.

“That’s actually… pretty cool,” he admitted. “Teach me how to make one.”

“A true master never reveals their secrets,” you eluded, placing it on the table.

“I dare you to make another.” Sneaky bastard. He knew you wouldn’t be able to replicate it. He saw you struggle the first time.

“Why, so you can just copy off of me?” you dodged, and Sam narrowed his eyes at you. You followed the same.

Neither of you blinked for a while.

“I’m out of paper,” he finally relented, gesturing to the fleet of planes that littered the table.

“I’m out of ideas.” You paused, looking down at how you’d spent the last hour. “Do you wanna go test these outside later?”

Sam looked up eagerly and you could just tell he was intending on getting competitive. “Hell yeah.”

“I’m going for a run in some time.” You got up to stretch your limbs, shrug off the fatigue that was setting in. Along the way you left the swan and one of the paper planes on top of the mini fridge alongside the car keys. It was cute. “We could do it then?”

“Sure,” he affirmed. “What time?”

“At around 6-” your eyes landed on the clock on the wall before widening, “-shit, shit, shit, I didn't realise it was five thirty. We have a call with Ransone.”

“Phone’s on the couch,” he mentioned to the living room, sitting up straight. “Why are you freaking out? We still got a few minutes to go.”

You pushed yourself away from the table, forcing yourself to shakie off the drowsiness that had begun to set in.

“You wouldn’t get it,” you mumbled, “He gets pissy if I don’t do things his way.”

You grabbed the phone, punching in the buttons and having it at the ready.

You noticed Sam focused on you with knitted eyebrows but not voicing whatever he had on his mind.

“Ready?” you questioned, but more as a formality. You had to do it regardless.

He simply nodded, looking on as you let the phone ring. If he had noticed your antsiness towards the call, he didn’t bring it up.

Ransone picked up on the last ring, not skipping a beat in answering, “Y/N.”

“Hey Ransone.” You switched the call to speakerphone.

“Are you alone?”

You glanced at Sam. He shook his head, arms crossed over his chest, edging you to continue with the arrangement you had planned the day prior.

Ransone trusted you more. He was more likely to communicate openly if Sam wasn’t around.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Where’s the other one?”

Sam silently scoffed.

“He’s taking a nap.”

“Ah,” Ransone’s tone was condescending. “How have things been?”

“It’s fine.” You press your lips into a straight line, not elucidating. “What’s the update out there?”

“Everything is a mess. We’re trying to figure out who attacked you but since there wasn’t anything left behind or any kind of trace, it’s proving to be... inconvenient.”

“Is it safe to travel?”

“What, with your face on national television?” he laughed. “Nah, I’d say it’s a little too early to be thinkin’ of a road trip. Just stay where you are, I’ll tell you when you can come out.”

Your fingers were thrumming at the table rhythmically, peeking at Sam every now and then for anything he found suspicious or wanted you to ask about.

“Listen, we’ve paid off every big guy to keep this under wraps as much as possible but Pierce was an important person. All the higher ups want this to be solved as quickly as possible. They don’t care about sacrificing a player here or there.”

Pinning the blame on you was easy enough. The faster you were put away, the faster they could stage an “accident” in prison so that none of their secrets were exposed. Wasn’t like they hadn’t done it before.

“Others in the business aren’t likin’ us accusing them of attacking one of our own. Our best bet right now is Serpentine but we haven’t gotten anything to prove it.”

You doubted they ever would. Even if they did do it, Serpentine was notorious for being cunning and stealthy in their operations. They made sure there would be no tracks leading back to them.

“So, we’re at a dead-end,” you verified. There was no telling when this would end, your exit looking further and further away. “We’re fucked.”

“No. We’ll just- Y/N, listen to me,” Ransone called out, drawing your attention back to the call.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve always protected you,” his voice was noticeably softer. “Don’t you trust me?”

You felt the temperature in the room drop.

“You said there would be no one there!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ransone scoffed. “I never said that.”

“I walk in there and there’s four people, completely armed.” Forcing yourself to recall it was making your head spin. Maybe you could ask the nurse for a painkiller. “It was supposed to be empty.”

“I think the blood loss is making you delirious,” he chided, looking at the bag of drips hanging above your bed. “It wasn’t even that bad-”

“You’re lying.” The words slipped out before you had the chance to think it over.

“Excuse me?” he tilted his head, tone suddenly sifting to that of warning.

You knew he was. You had agreed to this mission because it was supposed to be easy. It was a break.

“Ivan was there when you briefed me.” You lifted your good arm to point at him shakily. “He knows you’re lying.”

“Does he now?” Ransone quirked an eyebrow, studying his aid who stood in the corner of the dingy hospital room.

A beat of silence passed where Ransone stared at Ivan, waiting for a reply of confirmation.

Ivan only lifted his shoulders in unawareness. “I don’t remember you sayin’ that.”

Your mouth fell agape but you quickly rushed to shut it. Fucking liars. You shouldn’t have expected anything better.

“Told you.” Ransone shrugged. “You’re a smart one, Y/N, so I’m going to let that slide this time. But next time you accuse me of something I didn’t say…”

He trailed off, resting a hand on your broken shoulder. You flinched, jaw clenched so tightly you thought your teeth might break. You tried to imagine yourself somewhere else, desperate to reduce the quivering of your body when he squeezed it lightly.

“You know I’ve always tried to protect you.” He put a finger under your chin, tilting your head to meet his eye. “Don’t you trust me?”

A beat passed before you responded.

“I do,” you said through gritted teeth, pulling your face away from him.

“I’ll ask them to up your dosage.” Ransone took a step away from you, dropping his hand. “I’m going to need my best player on the field as soon as possible.”

You didn’t acknowledge his statement. Every part of your body felt like it was going to combust.

Did he really say that no one was going to be there or was it just the injuries playing with you?

“Get well soon,” he offered, one step out the door. “Buttercup.”

“You trust me, don’t you Y/N?” he repeated when you didn’t respond.

“Yes.” You swallowed, gaze falling to the floor.

“And I trust you. You wouldn’t do anything to break that, would you?”

Sam raised his one hand questioningly as if to ask what the hell he was talking about. An intimidation tactic. He had been using it for several years to reinforce your loyalty.

“I wouldn’t.”

There were things you weren’t telling him, of course. Details about that day or where you and Sam were hiding right off the top of your head. More if you thought about it deeply.

“Good,” came his response. “So if there’s anything you need, let me know. I’m always a call away.”

“Thank you.”

“Talk to you soon.” He ended the call there.

You stood there blankly for a while before dropping the phone to the ground and crushing it. Usually you wouldn’t have to do that; removing the battery would be enough. This time you wanted to.

Your chest rose and fell heavily. You loathed him. Yet, you couldn’t fucking leave.

“Hey.” Your eyes snapped back to Sam. “We still going on that run?”

The wind felt good.

Your muscles were burning and you could feel the constriction of your lungs but you liked it. The endorphins were working their charm.

Sam was right beside you, not questioning why there was so much aggression in your movement. You had lost track of how long you had been running. You couldn’t bring yourself to focus on that.

The path was paved with fallen branches and roots sticking out, forcing you to hop over some of them to avoid falling. It only annoyed you further.

You wanted to punch something. Or someone. The tension was rolling off your back in waves, and if someone saw you the’d probably believe you were going to commit an act of violence.

It was a while before you felt your steps begin to falter, the need for a proper breath taking precedence over the want to run more.

“Timeout?” you asked Sam breathlessly, slowing your pace to a jog.

“Sure about that, Usain Bolt?” he huffed, slowing his pace to match yours.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismissed it. “T’was fun.”

Now that you had slowed down, it forced you to come to terms with how much energy you had just burnt out.

“You wanna talk about what’s on your mind or ignore it?”

“Rather not talk about it for now.” The more you thought about him, the angrier you got. And as of late, you had realised that your method of dealing with that anger wasn’t the best.

The air was getting colder. It was getting harder to see what was in front of you, relying on the few rays of sunlight that shone through the treetops. You took a roundabout at your self declared checkpoint, changing course back to the house.

Sam followed wordlessly, but his presence was strangely comforting. Warm.

“Thank you.”

“For...” he trailed off, prodding you on.

“I don’t know. This.” You gestured to the path ahead of you. “I didn’t think you’d agree to it.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” His eyebrows knit together in puzzlement.

You didn’t have an answer to that. Probably because you weren’t used to people just doing nice things for no apparent reason.

“How are you so calm all the time? I’ve never seen him get under your skin,” you asked quietly. “How do you do it?”

He didn’t answer straight away. He mulled over it as he dodged broken sticks and upended roots on the ground. You would be fine if he didn’t answer either; as long as he knew that you appreciated it.

“I just realised that everything he put into me was destructive. Actively worked on unlearning it,” he replied after a while. “It took me years to even begin.”

You expected to hear that but it didn’t make it easier.

“I don’t even know how to start,” you mumbled. It was so tiring, even thinking of where and how it began. It was all you knew. All you were taught.

“If I could add something?”

You looked at him questioningly.

“You had a different relationship with him than all of us, Y/N. A deeper one. It’s not easy to forget that,” he pointed out. “But… you’re not him. That takes strength.”

These weren’t new revelations. It was things you had told yourself earlier to rationalise all your actions. You knew it on a surface level but it was difficult to convince yourself sincerely.

You didn’t say anything, just continued jogging with an eye on the ground.

It felt better to hear it from someone else. A starting point to maybe get to where he was, too.

“I just can’t believe anyone took him seriously enough for him to get this far,” Sam added, a tick of annoyance in his voice. “I don’t condone bullying but someone should have just punched him in the face as a child.”

It wasn’t even the funniest thing you had heard him say but for some reason it elicited a snort from you, soon giving way to a laugh.

His face snapped to yours at the sound of your laughter, a small smile growing on his face.

His brief moment of distraction was all it took for him to not notice the tree root sticking out in front of him. His ankle got caught in the wood, sending him stumbling to the ground face forward.

“Oh shit,” you cursed, halting in your place immediately, dropping to your knees to where he was.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned, turning onto his back. “I think I broke my face.”

“That may be a bit excessive but your nose is definitely bleeding,” you knew this was serious but you were finding it difficult to control your laughter once you realised it wasn’t a life threatening injury.

“Just leave me here to die.” He covered his eyes with his elbow, refusing to look at you.

“C’mon, Wilson. Let’s get you fixed up.” You stood up, offering your hand. He grabbed onto it, hoisting himself up. “Can you stand up straight? Do you think you have a concussion?”

“World class assassin,” he grumbled, shaking his head to imply he was fine other than a possible broken nose.

“Promise I won’t tell. Your reputation is safe,” you said it humorously but with conviction, hoping to make it less embarrassing for him. Not that you’d let him forget it any time soon.

It took longer to walk back considering how far you had ventured out, along with the fact that you had to guide him as he held his nose in the air to try and control the bleeding.

You pushed open the door to the house, holding it open as he walked in. Sam made his way to the dining room after you told him you’d get the first aid kit for the second time during your stay there.

By the time you returned from the bathroom, grabbing an old t-shirt along the way, he had a single ice cube pressed to the bridge of his nose.

“That’s not going to be enough.” You dropped the kit onto the table, opening the mini fridge. You emptied the ice cubes from the tray onto the t-shirt, twisting it into a small ice pack.

“These are my battle scars.” You could tell that he was trying not to use his nose. He sounded ridiculous.

“Whatever makes you feel better, Sam,” you chortled. His mouth eased into a half smile and you didn’t get why until you realised it was the first time you had called him by his name. You didn’t acknowledge it, surprised by how easily it slipped out from your mouth when you weren’t actively stopping it.

You gave him a bit of cotton to wipe off the blood that had dried on his face.

“Look up,” you instructed, standing over him so you could assess the damage. He complied, letting you cradle his jaw softly, tilting his head to see if there were any signs of a fracture or anything worse.

It was a bad fall, but nothing he hadn’t been through before in terms of severeness. It wasn’t going to leave a mark.

“Definitely going to bruise but it’s not broken,” you concluded, going over it once more to make sure.

“Thanks, doc,” his voice came softly from below you. Only then did you realise how close you were standing to him. You could feel his breath on your wrist that was still caressing his face.

It felt like eternity, but he didn’t make an effort to move or shove you away. Your eyes flitted down to his lips for a second. If you just leaned dow-

“Right,” you cleared your throat, taking a step back. “Just hold this to your face for a while to reduce any swelling.”

You handed him the makeshift ice pack, feeling the heat creep up your neck.

“Your turn to use the bed tonight, right?” His voice was significantly lower than what it had been a few minutes ago, something you weren’t acclimated to hearing. It only made your face feel hotter.

“Yeah.” You avoided meeting his eyes, using the time to close the first aid kid. “Unless you want it.”

“No, go ahead.”

It was too early to retire for the evening but suddenly you weren’t all that hungry anymore. Apparently neither was he.

“See you tomorrow, then?” you inquired, turning away before he could see you cringe.

“See you tomorrow,” he confirmed, “Good night.”

You just gave him a short wave over your shoulder and physically restrained from walking to the room, shutting the door and never looking at him again. You hoped he didn’t notice or at least never bring it up if he did.

You couldn’t do this. Not again.

Not when you knew the consequences.

Next part

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danielxricciardo · 3 years

Note

maybe one with haaland where he is a controlling boyfriend but you don‘t have the courage to tell him but one of his friends notice it and talks to him about it

Summary: You and Erling are in a toxic relationship.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 1.6k

Nearly all people want control over their environment. It's human nature. We're notoriously unable to let go and allow a situation to just be. We always feel like we have to do something to make things go our way.

The big difference between someone who is merely being human and someone who is controlling is that the latter results in emotional and physical abuse. A person who just wants control over themselves and their environment is pretty normal. However, a person who wants to constantly control what others say and do has issues.

He's very insecure and paranoid.

He uses ultimatums and other threatening tactics to manipulate you.

He uses guilt to control you.

He makes you feel less than you are.

He acts as you owe him for everything.

He isolates you from others.

He thinks he's always right.

You're hiding innocent things from him.

He's very insecure and paranoid.

Erling hated when he had to go away on a game or when he was away with the national team because you were no longer with him and he could not see what was happening at home.

How many times have you told your 2-year-old boyfriend that he can trust you, that you just go to work and go home, he still doesn't trust you. He calls you two or three times an hour, and when it was a match he calls you before it starts, during the break, and after the match.

At first, you didn't think it was a problem, you really thought it was nice, you thought he was thinking of you and wanted to see what you were doing. But you noticed that he was paranoid about your every move. If you went to the store and stayed longer, he would ask you who you met. If you were talking on the phone with someone other than your parents, he wanted to know exactly who you were on the phone with and what you were talking about.

2.He uses ultimatums and other threatening tactics to manipulate you.

Not only once it happened that after a nice get-together in the city with his teammates to come home and he'll tell you that if you behave so nicely and flirtatiously with a teammate of his once again he will break up with you in order of you to go to that teammate.

You weren't doing anything wrong, you were just trying to be friendly with his friends. You never flirted with a teammate of his, and you never intended to do that.

You tried to explain to him that you were not doing anything wrong but he didn't seem to care too much about what you were saying so you just lowered your head and listened to him.

3.He uses guilt to control you.

Erling didn't cook. He always reminded you of the moment when he wanted to cook you a romantic dinner and he burned his hand.

Erling never washes the clothes. He always reminded you of the moment when he colored all his white T-shirts in pink.

Erling never gave you presents. He always reminded you of the moment when he bought you a perfume that you couldn't wear because you were allergic to some of the components.

Erling never organizes surprises. He always reminds you of the moment when he organized a surprise party for your birthday and he accidentally invited your ex-best friend as well.

He always points out his own efforts and hard work to make you feel as if you've fallen short. Who were you to compare to Erling Haaland anyway?

4.He makes you feel less than you are.

You were just a lawyer. He was one of the greatest football player. He always reminded you of that.

You had a few hundred euros set aside. He had millions. He always reminded you of that.

You could afford a 3-day vacation in the mountains 100 kilometers from your home. He could afford himself a 3-month vacation all over the world. He always reminded you of that.

You could afford to order food from the neighborhood restaurant. He could afford to eat 5 times a day from the best restaurants in town. He always reminded you of that.

5.He acts as you owe him for everything.

He always reminded you that he bought you half of the clothes you own.

He always reminded you that the apartment you live in is his.

He always reminded you that the car you drive is bought with his money.

He always reminded you that the holidays you have been in so far have been paid in full by him.

He always reminded you that you would be nothing without him.

6.He isolates you from others.

Even if you were staying 20 minutes away from your parents' apartment, you haven't seen them for more than 4 months. You haven't even been out with your friends lately you were just talking on the phone in the last few months.

You could go out to a restaurant with your friends and have a coffee and talk about your life, but that would mean Erling would have to come with you, and he doesn't want to because he feels like all your friends are stupid.

7.He thinks he's always right.

Nothing you said was ever correct, and he applied critical thinking to prove you wrong. He always told you that you were not right and that it would be better for you not to express your opinion in public because you would make a fool of yourself. So when someone asks you what you think about something, you would just simply shut up.

8.You're hiding innocent things from him.

Many times when he was gone you would order different clothes online that you'd eventually hid from him. You didn't know if you would ever be able to wear them, but you liked them so much when you saw them that you couldn't help but buy them.

You tried them when they arrived and then you hid them behind the closet, knowing that he would never look there because only you cleaned the apartment.

You knew it wasn't a healthy relationship. It was written TOXIC in capital letters all over your relationship. But you didn't want to give it up. You knew he had no luck in past relationships and that's why he behaves like this now and you were sure he would get over this phase.

You were both at Thomas Delaney's birthday at a restaurant. Although everyone was having fun, you sat and watched everyone, taking care not to stop looking at one person for too long, not to smile for too long, or to laugh too loudly at someone's joke.

Your strange behavior caught Marco Reus's attention. You used to laugh, make jokes, but not now. You seemed forced to be there.

"Y/N, are you okay?" he asks you and all eyes were now on you.

You bite your lip and look at everyone scared. You wanted to cry.

"Yes, she's fine." Erling answers in your place then takes a sip of beer.

Marco frowns and looks between the two of you.

"Okay, but I asked her, you know."

"You are fine, don't you, darling?" he says and slips his arm behind your back.

He shuddered at his touch and this is not overlooked by those at the table.

"Yes ..." you say shyly. "I'm fine."

"No, you are not." says the captain of the Borussia Dortmund team and beckons his wife, Scarlett, to go to you.

Scarlett gets up from the table and comes to pick you up and take you to the bathroom to talk. Michelle Delaney joined you.

Erling looks after you as you are dragged by the two women to the bathroom.

"Why do all three of them need to go to the bathroom? Y/N didn't need to go to the bathroom."

"And how do you know she didn't need to? She didn't say a word all night long." Marco answers. "What's wrong with you?"

Erling frowned, not understanding the question.

"I'm fine, what are you talking about?"

"Are you? Haven't you noticed that you've become a manipulative dick? She's terrified of you. She's so afraid to breathe around you."

Erling snorts and finishes his beer from the glass.

"She's fine. You don't have to worry about her. How long does it take to come from the bathroom?" he says, turning in his chair, looking at the bathroom.

All the men at the table look at each other in silence.

"Break up with her," says Thomas Delaney.

"And why, in the world, would I do that?" he asks, clenching his fists.

"Because she feels miserable and it's clear you don't love her anymore. Your relationship is toxic and there's no point in continuing it."

"I respectfully tell you that you have no idea what you're talking about. She doesn't feel miserable."

"I do feel miserable," you say from behind him.

Erling gets up from his chair and looks at you.

"What?" he says softly as if all the air had come out of him.

You bite your lip and look at him. You had red eyes from crying.

"I've been terrified of making a wrong step around you for almost half a year. I'm afraid you'll yell at me, scold me... Sometimes I'm afraid you'll hit me."

Erling frowns and looks at you intently.

"But I... I didn't mean to hurt you. Never. I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't realize I hurt you. You should have told me earlier..."

Erling takes you in his arms and you feel the warmth and love with which he embraces you. For the first time in so many months, you felt the love of your lover.

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spencersmagic · 3 years

Text

A blessing in disguise

Summary: in which y/n is struggling with her classes, Reid is a nervous mess and my teacher is a fucking weirdo.

Couple: Non Male-Identifying Reader X Season 2! Spencer Reid

Category: blurb, fluff

Warnings: abuse of power, men being clueless, mentions of a serial rapist (but that’s as far as it goes - no cases or specifics are mentioned), player! Derek, brief mentions of fingering, brief mentions of dumbification, brief innocence kink, brief descriptions of anxiety attacks.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N I wrote this during my algorithms class after my teacher flirted with me lmaoo enjoy !!

“Enums were introduced in Java 5.0. Enums restrict a variable to have one of only a few predefined values. The values in this enumerated list are called enums” you read silently, adjusting your earbuds to drown out chattering that was emerging from around Derek’s desk. Prentiss, Spencer, Penelope and, of course, Morgan were discussing the latter’s love life.

You were all done for the day, having a heavy day of paper work, and Hotch had asked you to stay in for a few hours as he checked for any other cases with JJ. They quickly mentioned something about a serial rapist in Georgia and had quickly left to see if they could convince local PD to invite them in.

You had heard some of the comment before deciding to focus on your Algorithms and Data Structure class – comments regarding Morgan’s commitment issues and sexual endeavors. You looked at Derek and took note of his body language: he sat tall on his chair, eyebrows relaxed and a small smug painting his face. Everything about him screamed “yeah?, and what about it?”.

As of right now, you wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smile off of his face. To curse him for being proud of the long line of broken hearts he probably left behind. But you also knew it wasn’t true. Derek would never hurt a fly, unless it somehow committed a crime. He was always paying you a nice compliment after a case, or giving you one of his famous pep talks when you needed a little push. He was probably the most attentive man you had ever met. Well, excluding Spencer.

Doctor Spencer Reid. How to even begin to explain anything about this man. He was complex in ways you could never imagine. He seemed to know everything there was to know, yet he was completely oblivious of what is going on around him. Yes, he can solve cases like a motherfucker, but when it came to the feelings of people around him, he still struggled.

Yes, you were completely and utterly enamored by the man. I mean, how could you not? Anybody who paid a little attention to him would completely fall for him - you were sure of that. The way he would knit his eyebrows together and lick his lips when he was having trouble understanding something, the way he would ramble on about any and all subjects, no matter how trivial they might be, the shape his fingers would follow when he quickly followed his sight when reading a book… He was an incredibly attractive man.

You could also not help but imagine him wrapped around your finger, looking at you like a desperate, innocent boy, whining as you fucked him dumb.

You tried not to think about it, instead submerging yourself into the book that was in front of you.

“Can’t fail, can’t fail” you mumbled to yourself, as you continued trying to make sense of the seemingly impossible subject you were currently working on. You continued reading for not more than 15 minutes before Penelope placed her hand on your back softly, still making you jump, the contrast between the suddenness of her touch and the ethereal Satie pieces softly grazing your soul as you tried to make sense of the books in front of you has startled more than it should.

You took off one of your earbuds to listen to what they were saying, somewhat annoyed. “What?” you said with a tone that shouldn’t’ve been as harsh as it came out to be. You quickly mumbled a “sorry” at their shocked looks before changing your demeanor. Pen smiled down at you.

“Oh, that’s alright, dear! Do not even mention it. Do you want us to leave you to your work?” she asked, sweet as ever. You smiled gratefully. “No, but thank you for offering. Having you here helps me work harder” you explained. “What did you want?” you asked, shifting your gaze to meet Spencer’s, who was looking at you with concern. It was one thing to have you lash out the people around you, which he could attribute to your anxiety over finals, but it was a whole different thing to have direct access to the sight of the dark marks that grazed your under eyes, showing just how much you were wearing yourself out.

You quickly looked at Pen as she said “Well, we just wanted you to scold at Derek for being a total man whore” she said, turning with an accusatory tone, to which the whole team laughed at. Even Spencer chuckled a little at her words, however still wary of you, his eyes never leaving your own. You smirked, making sure to enjoy every single second of your little break.

“Well, I think… perhaps our little chocolate sculpture of perfection should be a bit of a man whore…” you said, tentatively. “Who are we to deprive the world of having Derek Morgan in their beds?” you said, nonchalantly, earning yourself the laughter of your teammates and a “Ready when you are, y/l/n” from Morgan, to which you winked.

You turned back to put your earbuds on before you were interrupted once again, this time by the resident genius. “Hey y/l/n, are you ok?” he looked at you with the same concerned look as you had seen mere minutes ago. You nodded, letting out a soft “mhm” before going back into your book.

You noticed how Spencer’s body tensed slightly at the idea of you not feeling comfortable enough to tell him something. After all, you guys were best friends, at least from his point of view, and he didn’t like the idea of you hiding something if it was bothering you. He wanted to help.

And right now, you really did need his help, no matter how stubborn you were about it. You felt like your chest was compressing at the sight of the amount exercises under your fingers which you would have to master in such a short period of time. Your heart felt heavy, and your body felt completely empty and numb. You knew the feeling. Of course you did. You had been having anxiety attacks since you could remember, the pressure of your parents into having “the perfect daughter” weighing in on you too much.

Suddenly, everything felt cold, and you felt as if your soul had been expelled from your body, only leaving a corpse. Your vision went blurry and you shut your eyes harshly, trying to focus on the words that filled the pages in front of you. But you couldn’t.

You tried burying yourself back into the books in front of you, knowing an anxiety attack in front of the team was probably the worst thing that could happen to you today. What you didn’t realize, however, was that Spencer had decided to move away from the conversation momentarily and stalk over your desk, making you jump at his shadow.

“Gosh Spence! You scared me” you said, looking up to him. He narrowed his eyes for a few seconds before bringing a chair around and sitting down. Without saying a word, he began skimming through the page you were in. You waited patiently for him to speak.

“I have a PhD in engineering, Y/N. I can help you if you need it” he said, chuckling nervously before licking his lips. Your heart swelled at his words. Something about having Spencer helping you made your heart soar. ‘He cares’, you thought momentarily.

Of course he cares, you always knew this. But the anxiety you were experiencing over finals week brought all kinds of other insecurities into your life. “Isolation has proven to reduce effectiveness in other aspects of your life like work and overall mental health”, you remembered Spencer’s words from a few weeks back when you were discussing how different prison systems could benefit or harm a prisoners chance of being able to be reinstated into society.

To be completely frank, the idea of having Spencer explaining different Java modules to you as you bounced on his cock was one that went straight to your head and, subsequently, between your legs where you needed him the most.

You rid yourself of the dirty thoughts you were having about the resident genius before clearing your throat to talk to him.

“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want to interrupt you. You looked like you were having a lot of fun” you said, not wanting to tell him the truth. But, after all, you guys were best friends. He knew everything about you, which included knowing when you were lying.

“Hey” he said, feeling compelled to grab your chin to turn you to look at him. However, he refrained from doing so, knowing it would earn the team at least a teasing comment. You weren’t up for that right now and, honestly, he wouldn’t be able to conceal the blush that always crept up to his cheeks at the thought of being something more with you. He continued, but not before licking his lips again. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked you with the softest voice. You might not even have heard him, he thought.

You cleared your throat before continuing.

“My teacher asked me out” you let out, not wanting to explain the rest. However, Spencer’s heart fell to his feet. ‘She probably said yes. Fuck, I’ve lost any chance I might’ve had with her he mentally cursed his shyness.

Penelope, however, of course, heard what you had said (having a sixth sense for gossip). “Oooh!! Your teacher asked you out?? Is he hot?” she squealed before turning her face to a look of disgust. “Wait aren’t you in college?? Please tell me he isn’t all old and wrinkly” she shuddered.

You chuckled lightly, “No! He’s young-ish… maybe 30? 35? I don’t really know” you explained, but Penelope wanted more.

You didn’t even realize how Spencer’s face had completely fallen, looking at you now with glossy, puppy dog eyes.

He’s completely wrapped around your finger.

“How can you not know his age? You went out on a date with him!” she exclaimed, teasing your apparent lack of memory.

“Nono, I never went out with him.” You quickly clarified, to which Spencer stood a little taller, no longer cursing the man that was supposed to teach you Java instead of having to do it himself.

Thoughts like “if he is so amazing why does she find herself at a little over 11pm hunched over her books instead of spending her time with her team?” disappeared from his mind.

Pen looked at you with confusion written all over her face before Prentiss clarified for you, clearly knowing what had happened. She was, after all, one of the sharpest agents you had ever met.

“She refused the date, and now she has to make up for it.” she stated, understanding. You nodded.

“I can’t afford to fail. If I give him a reason to fail me, he will. He was furious, Pen” you said, gaze shifting around to the worried faces that were part of the conversation. All but one.

Penelope’s hand found itself to your back again before stroking it supportively. Prentiss nodded, too. “Tell us if you need any help, alright babe?” she said, before turning back to Morgan , whose face only showed pure anger.

“No, nah nah” he denied. “This is alright? You’re all fine with this?” he said, not understanding. Spencer joined. “There must be somebody you can tell right? Maybe a tutor? Or the dean, maybe?”, to which Prentiss and you snorted in unison.

Prentiss sighed. “Men…” she mumbled, clearly astonished at their reactions. You laughed again.

“It’s different for us, guys. If I complain about it then I “shouldn’t’ve given him the impression that I was interested”. If I had said yes, which I didn’t want, I would be “using my body to get a good grade’” If I hadn’t talked to him at all I would be “acting difficult to get his attention”. There’s literally no way out of it” you explained softly. Morgan nodded warily, still trying to figure a way out of it.

Spencer’s blood boiled. Never mind the fact that he found you delightful and wanted to spend the rest of his life next to you. The fact that your teacher was taking advantage of your in this way was completely disgusting.

Before knowing what he was doing, he exclaimed “well that’s just bullshit, isn’t it?” as he stood up, the back of his knees pushing against the chair, which flew backwards with the force of his movement. He blushed slightly and continued.

“There must be something you can do. You can’t be beating yourself up with this subject. You have other things to do! I could talk to him or something. If you want to, of course“ he brought a hand to his face, rubbing it. “I just- I don’t understand how somebody could be so fucking despisable” he ranted but stopped quickly as he looked at the surprised reactions of the team.

He was way angrier than anybody else, including yourself – who had, for some reason, completely accepted this outcome. To be honest, he was fucking pissed, but there were other emotions coursing through his veins. He was jealous.

He didn’t want to be, of course. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. But the thought of you having something with such a despisable man such as himself made him want to hold you and never, ever, let you go.

He blushed for the third time that day before sitting down again. Everybody watched attentively as he grabbed your hand, yielding a newfound motivation. “I’ll help you, Y/N. You’re going to ace that test. You don’t need him, Y/N. You are so much more than that scumbag” he admitted. Something had overcome him, but you weren’t mad about it. You like this side of Spencer and, even though you rarely got to see it, it was a sight for sore eyes indeed. The way his hands ran through his hair anxiously, the way he would stand a bit taller… He was always pretty, but he looked absolutely gorgous like this.

Pen chuckled awkwardly before turning back to talk to Derek and Prentiss. You didn’t notice, though, the world instead turning around Spencer’s warm touch on your hands.

You nodded gratefully. “I would love it if you could help me with this subject. I don’t want to pry, though. If you have other things to do you can definitely do those. You’re probably a busy ma-“ he interrupted you. “You have all my time, Y/N” he blurted out, eyes widening at what he just said. Your eyes locked with his nervous orbs, and you smiled.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, after all.

________

I hate everything about this but I worked way too hard of it lmaoo

Also why did I chose to studying engineering?? im gay, I can’t do math

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thecandywrites · 3 years

Text

Blood For Gold Chapter 21

Oh but we aren’t done, let’s unravel this spiderweb completely shall we? All the aces that everyone thought they had are pulled out, and what they thought were aces, just might end up being jokers instead. Also this picture of this dagger? That’s Kushi, before and after it turned to platinum, before it disintergrated into black ash.

@punkhorse96 this is where we come right to the brink of losing everything and this story ALMOST becomes a tragedy only for LOVE TO CONQUER ALL. And save the day and bring it back from the brink of destruction and taking the highroad keeps you from being involved in the tragic “accidents” on the low roads from the head on collisions between the other players in the game. Enjoy Darling, one more chapter to tie all this up in a neat little bow.

Also I would like to make a note- because this mentions pregnancy and in a sense, abortion too- I want to make something clear. I am pro choice. I believe that children can be a blessing, but they above all else, are people and they deserve to be wanted, deserve to be cared for by loving and caring parents who want them and parents who are ready and willing to have them. And not be viewed as the bad consequence for having sex.

Blood For Gold

Chapter 21

“What’s going on now?” Demsey asked you.

“Something between Benny and Sierge that they need to work out.” You answered him.

“Demsey, do remember that favor I asked of you? How you would help me escape the Palace of Windsor?” You prompted, as your tears welled in your eyes because having Demsey so close but knowing that the best thing to do for him was going to be to get worlds apart from him was breaking your heart just thinking about.

“Yes, I have not forgotten.” Demsey reassured you.

“I need to call it in. The moment we return, I need you to bring that trunk down to the stables, I was given Charlico as a gift, and I’m leaving with Heavencrest and Charlico. Because the moment we get back and can get packed, everyone is leaving the Palace of Windsor and my family is going to be going to Mirador to help sort things out.” You informed him.

“Absolutely, I will ride back immediately and meet you in the stables.” Demsey reassured you.

“Thank you.” You thanked him before your parents came and pulled you back to them as they insisted on having a family meeting to discuss what they were going to do as once again, urged them all to go to Mirador and formulate a plan there and that you would have room in Mirador’s stables for everyone’s rides and plenty of rooms for them to stay in even though they weren’t as lavish as the rooms at the Palace of Windsor but your family insisted that even if they had to share beds and roll out bed rolls on the floor, they were going to stay together but in this moment, you just wanted to be free and have space from everyone.

Demsey rode the fastest horse he could rent and immediately went up to his room and hastily packed his own things into his own trunk and put them with yours and waited anxiously in the stables as your family came back as you hurriedly packed everything you could not live without and put them in a separate trunk and instructed the servants to take the first trunk to the stables and all the others to go back to Mirador with your parents since they would be taking carriages back to Mirador before you got dressed in a simple, comfortable shirt and pants along with your flying leathers and practically ran towards the stables once Yalin gave you Charlico’s papers of ownership and breeding lines and a note to the stable hands that Charlico’s saddle and whatever other tack you wanted would be leaving with him.

“So what happened in there?” Demsey asked as he tried to help you get Charlico and Heavencrest saddled up to be loaded up.

“My case against the Morrigans got dismissed from every court in England.” You told him.

“How in the world did the Morrigans get your case dismissed?!” Demsey demanded.

“Because it wasn’t them that did it, it was the Dowager Queen who was the one who dismissed both my case against the Morrigans and the Morrigan’s case against me in both the public and private courts and barred us from ever going to court to protect the Crown from any damage that this case would bring to it through Gregori, Yalin and Ramsey and she herself got to see and hear all of the evidence and acted as judge and jury and ruled in my favor. The original contract I had with Edward Senior was upheld. And the Dowager Queen awarded me everything that the Morrigans have as recompense for the hurt they caused me in their conspiracy and attempt to murder me and they were branded as mad and insane for trying to murder me via mourakatili and were sent to the asylum to be fed poison to make them honestly insane.” You answered.

“Oh, but that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Isn’t that more or less the outcome you wanted?” Demsey asked in confusion because you were still manically trying to saddle and load both animals up and you were still crying and clearly in distress.

“Factually, yes, but at the same time, no, not at all, because I finally found out why they tried to kill me to begin with and it’s so much worse than anything I could have imagined. The day I married Edward Senior, Ramsey, in a panic said only minutes after I married Edward, told his father that I was his perfect bride but because I was just then married, I was unavailable because his parents had threatened him that if he had not found a bride that season, he would be cut off in every conceivable way and sent into the army and have the rake beaten out of him one way or another. But he just thought I would marry Edward and live out the rest of his natural life with him and in five to ten years when Edward would die naturally of old age, then he would be ready by then. But what no one realized was Gregori’s desperation to see Ramsey married and father to a legitimate heir as soon as possible was so great, he conspired to murder Edward Senior so that I could be Ramsey’s wife that much quicker. Because it was Gregori who bribed Edward’s doctor- Dr. Rickets, to poison Edward Senior with Wolf’s Eye which when you take it, it makes you delirious within a couple months, and within a few more months, it will put into a further delirious rage to the point your heart beats so hard so fast, your heart beats itself apart, causing your heart to fail, and that led to Edward’s own madness and in his madness, he abused me. The entire Royal Family including Charlotte, Yalin, Ramsey and myself were completely unaware of Gregori’s involvement and plotting and all of them were mortified to learn of this news and as recompense, they gave me Charlico for free, although I still feel I paid for him with my own blood, but none of that seems to matter to anyone else so the real murderer is walking free because he’s the King’s brother and heaven forbid he face any punishment for his actions.” You hissed as you wiped your angry tears away as you did your best to get Heavencrest’s saddle cinched correctly as your tears blurred your vision.

“The Morrigan's thought I had poisoned Edward Senior, wanting to get out of the marriage which of course wasn’t true because before the poisoning- Edward Senior had been nothing but good to me and I was happy and content with him and I had no reason or motive or cause for such a thing but they thought I was a typical moura, who just wanted the highest payout as quickly as possible and in retaliation and wanting to avenge Edward Senior, hired the same doctor, Dr. Rickets, to obtain mourkatili and poison me with it so that I would be buried right next to Edward Senior. Dr. Rickets tried telling Gregori but Gregori was already on holiday with his family in Dorierra trying to find another “me” for Ramsey and didn’t get his letter in time for Gregori to step in and Dr. Rickets added Jade’s Crown to the mourkatili to make it less lethal but more addictive and told the Morrigans all they needed to do was put a thimble full of it into a pot of hibiscus tea to hide the color and once I would have a sip, I would become addicted and would request to drink it more and would choose to drink myself to death, which that plot very narrowly succeeded.” You revealed with a bitter laugh.

“But because it was Gregori who is guilty of the conspiracy, it’s being covered up, buried and dismissed and all evidence of Gregori’s guilt, once it was made aware by the Morrigans and myself and my family, it was then quickly destroyed and Dr. Rickets ended up going to the asylum with the Morrigans and has the same fate as them.” You revealed as Demsey was half tempted to try to burn the palace down himself as rage almost blinded him but your hurt kept his mind with you in the moment.

“However, the complication was that Richard’s mistress, Myra, her children by Richard were brought up in Broadcove as servants because Agnes insisted that only the children she bore to Richard should be his heirs and treated them as such because she was the one who had control of a good portion of the wealth since a lot of it was in her name, that term was agreed on so that Agnes would continue go along with everything like a good wife and Richard of course had to agree because Myra has no nobility at all herself, just her beauty and personality to recommend her and Agnes had the breeding, nobility, connections and dowry to boot. So, of course Richard married Agnes but kept Myra as his mistress and it is those connections and that dowry that enabled Edward Senior and Richard to invest it and multiply it and turn it into the massive wealth they did and with Agnes working her own contacts like a concierto does an orchestra, that’s why they have as much power and influence as they do. But Agnes was always resentful on account of Myra so she abused those poor innocent children because she hated how Richard loved them more than the children she bore to him and even though they were his bastards, they were made in more love than Jane and little Edward ever were and she demanded that if they remain in the house that they were to earn their place as servants or be put out into the street because she could not bear the humiliation of Edward’s infidelity made public and she would turn all of her connections on Richard if she didn’t get her way so he had no choice but to agree and Myra was lucky she got a room, much less a suite of rooms at Broadcove in the opposite end of the house from Agnes, Jane and little Edward.” You explained.

“And if that wasn’t bad enough Agnes even sent one of them to their early death, the eldest son Myra bore to Richard, the second time I was served mourkatili in tea form, she insisted that to “prove” it wasn’t dangerous, for the poor boy who served it to me, she insisted that he taste it to prove it wasn’t poisonous, I tried to stop it but he did as she commanded and dropped dead the moment that poison touched his lips and she tried to pin it on me to Myra saying that I insisted he drink it. So of course Myra came to me and demanded to know what the poor boy had done to me that I should be so cruel as to kill him and when Richard found out, of course he believed Agnes at first and came at me and had me tied down so he could beat me and I couldn’t fight back, I was too drunk on mourkatili to fight back anyway before Jane intervened and told them the truth and Jane had to show them the truth that had been caught via her own messengerari that was in the room and when Myra saw it, she apologized profusely and did everything she could to heal the hurt that Richard had inflicted but when Richard saw it, he never did apologize to me but instead turned on Agnes, her bruises and cuts were twice as bad as my own. But that didn’t stop Agnes because the third time Agnes did it, it was Myra’s youngest boy who was only six.” You broke down crying as Demsey came and tried to hold you but you resisted him, because you wanted to leave as soon as you got this all off your chest because you wanted and needed him to know the truth.

The whole truth.

“And I of course drank down every drop of it to keep him from having any to protect him and Jane, once again had to intervene, so she and her father decided that only she would serve me the mourkatili because I would not make her drink it and that all of Richard’s other children by Myra would be kept to her apartments in the north wing and would only be let out when they were in the company of Myra or Richard, so they became like caged animals, just like me and must like Myra.” You revealed as Demsey stared in horror.

“And Jane, sweet Jane, she got her ladies maid to go to the market for her to get me ipecac and she would try to dilute the mourkatili and try to add what she had heard would help lessen the impact of it or help to try to neutralize it. And she purposefully “tripped” and crashed onto the floor when she couldn’t dilute the tea and it of course stained the rugs and the floorboards underneath but she couldn’t do it too often for fear her parents would get suspicious but she did everything she could in those limited, forced circumstances to try to do what she could to save me, so even though the fact of the matter is she did serve me poison, she isn’t responsible for it. And I hold no grudge against her or blame. And of course, when I got to leave Broadcove, Myra pleaded with me to take her children as my own servants because she knew I would be good to them and treat them with kindness, much more than they were being given at home and I could not refuse her. But of course, they are their father’s children and they of course, kept reporting on everything I did to their father. So even when I left Broadcove, I couldn’t escape the Morrigans.” You divulged.

“But why not dismiss them entirely then?” Demsey asked.

“Because they have been good to me despite that and I couldn’t fault them for their loyalty, nor can I find fault in their service, they have always been respectful and obedient and they did everything they could to be courteous and cater to me and it was only three months into my widowhood when they saw for themselves what kind of person I was that they switched their loyalties to me and told their father to “fuck off” because if he really did love them like he claimed, then he would not have put up with their indentured servitude or mistreatment at Agnes’ hands and refused to spy on me after that and it’s because of those circumstances that in an effort to mend things with me, the King made Myra a Maquise, a station higher than a Count or Countess and basically told everyone the cover for this whole fucking fiasco was ‘that Agnes and Richard went on holiday, got sick with something to make them go mad while Jane and I have been at Windsor and that they bribed Dr. Rickets to poison me with mourkatili and thankfully my brother’s dragon was here to cure me and that they are all guilty of madness and attempted murder and have since been sent to the asylum. And that Marquise Myra Bellafont, moved with pity, has taken in Jane and little Edward and is now their loving caregiver’.” You informed him.

“So that’s why I am leaving Broadcove to Myra and all of her children as heirs of it because while Agnes has always treated them with animosity, they have never treated Jane or little Edward that way or even Myra, let alone me. So they will leave Mirador as my servants and enter Broadcove as masters and I have been awarded everything that the Morrigans had, all wealth and property and I am leaving a business or two to Myra and her children to run so that they can keep up Broadcove and care for their needs and anyone who says otherwise or attempts to reveal the truth will be promptly killed or sent to the asylum themselves.” You explained.

“But if that wasn’t enough, Richard did hire a mage to cast a spell over all of Mirador so that no messengerari would work and send any message out and bribed four of the post masters in the Royal Mail Service to destroy every piece of mail going in or out to me and Mage Bellfast had to conjure them all up because they had all been burned in an effort to be destroyed. That’s why that table was covered in mail from my friends and family. Not even your letter to me a few days before the ball to warn me about who was going to be there and who meant me harm could reach me.” You explained.

“And that was the other reason why the Royal Family couldn’t let this go to court because to prove that their Royal Mail Service had been corrupted, couldn’t be tolerated.” You answered.

“And what’s even worse is now I can’t go home to Dorierra either because I got the classification of tavnit, which means “no master”. And even if I were to go back to Dorierra, I can’t stand to go back into the bride system. But I also can’t stand to go home to Mirador where my whole family now has dollar signs in their eyes and now they are all clamoring for a piece of the giant money pie I’ve just been handed and the temptation to just let your sister inherit all that I have so that you can assist her in how to run it all so I can be free of even all of that is too tempting for me right now and so the only place that leaves that I can go and be truly free in every sense, is a colony because justice is a joke and loyalty is fickle at best in this country and the less people around me who can use me for their own benefit, spy on me to others who would use that information as blackmail against me and betray me, the better.” You insisted bitterly.

“Do you think I would ever do those things to you?” Demsey asked.

“No, never, because you’re actually a very good man, with upstanding character and morals but you deserve a highborn lady at your side to be the perfect wife to you and help you and stand by you. And as much as I want to do that, I can’t.” You cried as you put your bags onto the saddles and tied them down.

“Why not? I told you, I don’t need an heir and a spare, all I want is you to be happy. And if a colony is where you think you’ll find that then let me go with you. Where you go, I go. To hell with England.” Demsey insisted.

“No, England is still your home though, and Whydah I’m sure has no equal. You have everything here, you have your business which should be booming with the new soap recipes which Leumeni has offered to share if he could have the chance to court Kiera properly. You have your title as Duke, you have your family and friends, and I’m not worth giving all of that up for.” You argued.

“Yes you are! To me, you are worth more than anything this world has to offer me.” Demsey argued further as he once again tried to reach for you to pull you into the comfort of his embrace as you desperately put your hands on his chest and shoved him away with what was left of your strength in that moment.

“Demsey please! You can’t love me without knowing the truth about me! I am a murderer! I’m the one who gave Edward his fatal blow!” You cried out as Demsey was dumbstruck by such a revelation as he subconsciously took a step back as your heart broke to see such a reaction from him before you grabbed your last bag and tied it to Charlico’s saddle.

“A millenia ago, when mouras first touched down on the ground, the reason we knew we could turn things into gold was because at a banquet, a drunken man tried to rape a moura woman. The moment his touches grew desperate and violent, just touching her, her body, in an act of self defense, turned him into a statue of gold. That’s how we found out we had that power. Once she touched him again, he turned back to flesh and blood but the act of being a solid gold statue killed him and he dropped dead. Then we learned to master that defense mechanism and learned to control it. It was our blessing and our curse. From there, moura women were hunted like game, like trophies and when mouras grew cloaks, when you took a moura’s cloak you were considered bonded with them. And men of all kinds hunted us, and once we turned their enemies into statues of gold, to be melted down into bricks and bars of it and once that is done once it stays gold for a year, touching it again will never let it revert back to it’s original flesh, so the gold was kept in the ground for a year and a half just to be safe while the person was considered “gone missing”, or the women turned their own body weight of mud and rock and bricks into gold, then they were released. But that meant that no moura would ever have rape or any abuse attempted on them because the perpratrator would be turned to gold themselves. But when the gold plague came, that power died with it. And suddenly we didn’t have that protection, or that curse. Until only recently, and I mean recently as in only the last one hundred years. There have been only four mouras born in the whole world, who can now touch that moura gold and turn it into moura platinum. That’s what I am. I’m a platinum moura. The moment Edward’s flesh touched mine as he tried to rape me, he dropped dead as a platinum statue, he broke the bed and the crash was heard through the whole house and I had to have the bed burned and bribed Dr. Rickets to say he died of a heart attack, which having a heart that needs to be beating for you to stay alive, if it stops, you’re dead, still kind of happened. But because of the mourkatili, it means that that very platinum is poisonous and lethal if you touch it but when I touch it again, it turns to black ash, the same black ash from the Gold Plague that killed billions of heavenly moura, that’s why my hands were black when you came in and why there was so much ash on the floor because Mage Bellfast, as payment for conjuring up my mail asked me to turn a brick of moura gold into moura platinum. I tried and failed because Grevu cured me. And when Mage Altissia informed Mage Bellfast of that, he cast a spell on me and pulled the mourkatili that was in my hair back into my body and re-poisoned me so that I could have that power back. I tried stabbing him after he put that spell on me and I tried stabbing him with Kushi and Kushi turned from gold to platinum in my hands but the mourkatili made me weak again and I collapsed onto the floor and when I stood back up and picked up that gold bar and the moment I touched it, it turned from gold to platinum and I gave it to him and he at the time had the good sense of wearing gloves and when he got to hold it, he kissed it. And when he kissed it, his body instantly dissolved into a heap of ash with the bar of platinum falling onto a heap of his clothes and ash and it killed him and when I went to pick up Kushi, the moment I touched it, it turned back to gold but also into ash as well and it disintegrated into my hands and all the jewels that were imbedded into it, fell through my fingers like pebbled sand at the beach. I destroyed Kushi because it had been made with moura gold and when I touched that brick of moura platinum, it did the same thing. And now I can’t touch anything made out of moura gold or else the same thing will happen to it and for all I know the ash is just as poisonous now as it was when it first appeared in the Gold Plague. That’s why I have the tavnit status and that’s why I’m not welcome back in Dorierra because I have no use for the stable masters and once again, I am a lost cause.” You confessed.

“Do you still love me now? Knowing that I can kill you if you touch me? That I can turn everything that happens to be moura gold and turn it into poisonous platinum that will kill everything and anything it touches?” You asked rhetorically.

“That’s why as soon as I’m packed, I am going to go back down to Grevu so he can heal me yet again so that I am free of this curse too and then I’m leaving for the farthest colony I can find from here because the more space between me and this whole horrible situation and circumstances, the better.” You told him.

“But I know you would never do such things to me, at least on purpose. I promise to remove everything gold from Whydah so that you can’t possibly…” Demsey tried to offer.

“Demsey, that is not the only reason I can’t marry you and that you can not come with me. You deserve a wife who is faithful and honest with you in all things. Demsey I am pregnant. I am with child as we speak. I’m a month along already and even if we got married today, the baby will come too soon after the wedding and your reputation as well as my own would probably be ruined beyond repair and I can’t do that to you, I won’t do that to you, I refuse to do that to you. It’s not right and I refuse to do anything that can be in any way harmful to you. That’s why Grevu cured me the first time, he could tell I was falling pregnant and cured me to protect me and the baby, but because of the pregnancy and because of Grevu’s magic, protecting the baby from all harm, even now with the mourkatili in me, the baby is fine, it remains unharmed and the rest of my womb is being protected from reabsorbing it’s poison and this babe was made in love and passion and I refuse to harm it either. It’s an innocent in this situation too and it’s not only my responsibility and obligation to take on the consequences of my own actions and I have no one to blame for my state but myself and I am ready and willing to take it on and the only saving grace I have is that the baby is in no way the offspring of the Morrigans. And I love you too much to try to push onto you a baby that isn’t yours. It wouldn’t be honest or right. And I can’t ask you to take me and this baby on, knowing that.” You insisted as you finished then went over everything to make sure everything was attached and secure and wouldn’t come flying off when you would fly to the colonies in just a few moments.

“And the father of the baby has completely disappeared, no one can find him. And what’s worse is he was a whore in a whorehouse, that’s who the father of this baby is. Two months ago, when you gave me that note back that Calla was able to sneak to me. I went to The Gold Finch, that is where I met Yalin, she told me about The Red Velvet Rope and she told me which days to go and which days to avoid the place because that was Ramsey’s favorite whorehouse and at the time she didn’t want us to meet because she knew Rasmey would use me, then ruin me. I met the manwhore there and I got to be with him three times, that first time, a second time right before the ball at Havenfield and the third at the Masquerade Ball at The Midnight Peacock. That’s who I was with right before you found me at the bar, he was why I didn’t feel like dancing because we had both told the other that we were going to be pursuing other people and that never again would The Red Velvet Rope be in our lives and then the bastard made an enormous bet on me on Kamoba and apparently won a small fortune and as always, he took the money and ran because since then, he has vanished into thin air and no one has even heard of him, let alone knows of him and of course The Red Velvet Rope absolutely insists that no one by his name or appearance has ever worked for them, ever. But the place wouldn’t be a good whorehouse if it didn’t serve it’s lady clientele pregnancy warding tea to counteract the consequences of it’s use which I made sure to drink both before and after each trip to The Red Velvet Rope. Except for the night of the Masquerade Ball, I was too heartbroken over losing him that I forgot to drink any and that one time was all it took, even with the mourkatili in my system which mourkatili is supposed to kill fetus’ but thanks to Grevu’s magic, the baby is perfectly fine and healthy and shows no signs of being disformed or anything. And I would never do you the dishonor of trying to pass off a baby that isn’t yours to your very face and I would hate myself for trying to live that lie and that guilt would eat me alive, more than mourkatili ever could. That’s what I meant by you deserve better. Do you still love me now? Don't these truths kill every ounce of love you thought you had for me? Don’t..don’t answer those questions. Hopefully all these truths will help you dismantle any affection you’ve built for me and hopefully you can find someone worthy of your love and affection who will do right by you, who isn’t a whoring murderer.” You offered as you finished with the last of it before you went back to Grevu and asked him to heal you again as Demsey sat on the now empty trunk as his own sack of clothes and personal items laid down at his feet and processed everything as he watched you get into Grevu’s tent with him as you hugged Grevu tight and tried to tell him goodbye as he wrapped his neck and wing around you protectively as you cried into his chest but thanked him for intervening and trying to protect you and save you and the baby before he seemed to glare at Demsey.

“It’s not his fault. He’s not the one to cause my hurt.” You tried to excuse to Grevu.

“Just, please, heal me, one last time, so I can carry the baby safely ok? Thank you, thank you for preserving this little miracle of life.” You pleaded with Grevu who put his nose into the neck of your flying leathers and snorted softly before you had to let him go and go to a corner and throw up again and just the sound of you being sick and in agony as once again, the mourkatili colored your hair, but just the ends of your hair this time instead of all of your hair as you readily grabbed it and cut the colored ends off and laid them on the ground for Grevu to burst into flames to destroy for good and it was enough to break Demsey out of his stupor and move him to action as he knelt next to you and once you were done, he handed you his handkerchief to wipe off your mouth.

“Audra, my love for you transcends everything you’ve told me and will transcend a million things more. I don’t care if you were working at The Red Velvet Rope as a whore yourself, and I don’t care if you couldn’t know who or what was the father of the child you’re carrying and I don’t care if you don’t even have a penny to your name. I love you. I will always love you. And I will happily love the child you’re carrying as if it were my own. You speak like you’re the only one to have ever sinned. I’m imperfect too and I don’t want the perfect wife. How boring would that be? I want you as my partner in life, no matter how or what kind of name you want to attach to it, I want you, any part of you or all of you if you’re willing to give it to me as perfectly imperfect as you are right now and forever.” Demsey professed.

“You want to hear my deepest darkest secret? Shortly after seeing you on the train, I used The Red Velvet Rope too because I could not get you off of my mind and I thought at the time that if I rutted with a moura, that would help me be less distracted and then I met another moura, with the same first name and the same looks as you. And my fantasy was that I was actually being intimate with you instead of her and I met with her three times as well, that first time shortly after returning the note to you from Calla, the second, right before the ball at Havenfield and then again at the Masquerade Ball. I went to that ball and I immediately rented a change of clothes so that no one would recognize me in my own clothes in an attempt that you would not recognize me but that she might and sure enough, like moth to a flame, she found me again and it both broke my heart but filled me with relief that she was going on the straight and narrow and she confessed that she was going after an orc in the gentry and I feared it was my brother because shortly after just giving Sierge the smallest, most miniscule of details about her, he has been looking for her ever since and he claimed he found her and agreed that her resemblance to you was uncanny and I tried to kiss her goodbye and cut things off clean with her at the ball, but it was like she was a drug that I was addicted to and I went one last round with her and I haven’t seen her since. She also bet on me for the Kamoba and apparently won a small fortune in turn but again, she, just took the money and ran and not even Sierge has been able to find her since, even with his almost super powerful sense of smell, and that was also why I was in no mood to dance at the Masquerade Ball and why after that, I found you at the bar and why it wasn’t fair to you at all that I was in your presence but yet it was her that was on my mind. So I’m just as much of a whore as her and I have been just as unfaithful and just as secretive and deceitful and I’m sorry that we live in a society where such things are like a death sentence to a woman and her honor but are expected from most men and it’s not fair and it isn’t right. But I swear- on my life, I would never, ever, hold such things against you and I would keep these revelations just between us and take them to my grave and I will do anything you ask of me, except for leaving your side. I want to help you, I want to love you and care for you if only you would let me. You are not the only one with sin or fault, I’m just as guilty as you, I’m just as imperfect and flawed. But she is nothing compared to you and is a sad counterfeit of the real you and I would much rather have you than a hundred of hers. You will always be infinitely more precious to me. Please, if you must insist on going to a colony, then let me go too. You don’t even have to marry me if you don’t want to, I don’t have to be a Duke, Sierge or even Tzane can take the title and the business for all I care. Just...let me love you and care for you the best way I can. I know how to make soap anywhere, with my own two hands, it doesn’t have to be England or Europa, I don’t care where we are or where we go, as long as we are together. That’s all that matters to me, we’ll find a way to keep each other. I swear.” Demsey offered before you took your small canteen on your hip and swished your mouth out real quick before you finally kissed him, climbing into his lap and wrapped yourself around him and held him tight as you both cried tears of happiness and relief as an overwhelming flood of emotion overtook you both.

Then as if you both seemed to realize it at the same time, that each other’s taste was...really familiar.Not in a way that it was familiar from the night before but much farther back than that. Almost too familiar in an uncanny way.

“Wait, this, other Audra, the first time you met her, did you try to call her Audrey and she corrected you by saying it’s Audra- Draft?” You questioned him as suddenly, something clicked in your head.

“And I replied, ‘call me Demsey’.” Demsey answered as he gave you the most bizarre look before you both started laughing.

“Oh my gods, we are so stupid! Ugh! The Abbess at the Red Velvet Rope, told me I was going to be seeing a guy named Draft. That’s why I said “Draft”, not as my last name, but that was to address you, who I thought was named Draft.” You confessed.

“And it was on the 12th. At like, 3 o’clock in the afternoon? I told my abbess on my side of the place that I just wanted a rut with a moura and she offered an Audrey and so that’s why I called you Audrey and I thought the Draft thing was you saying your name was Audra Draft, Miss Draft.” Demsey confessed with a sigh of relief as he held you as finally your own personal scent was so wonderful and comforting and familiar! How had he not made the connection before now?

“And then we both returned on the 23rd at about the same time and met again, you were wearing that gorgeous navy suit jacket with the cream pants and that vest with cream and navy paisley.” You realized.

“And you wore that sexy as sin black lace dress that had me nearly losing my load just from the looks of it. Which, you do still have that right?” Demsey asked.

“Yeah, it’s back at Mirador.” You confirmed with another laugh.

“And that was you? At the Masquerade Ball, and it was me that you were quitting Mr. Draft for?” Demsey asked as he just couldn’t stop laughing as all of a sudden everything clicked into place as to why he was so outrageously attracted to you as he tightened his hold on you.

“Yeah, and obviously it was me that you were quitting Miss Draft for?” You asked with a laugh of your own.

“Yeah.” Demsey confirmed.

“So this is actually my child you’re carrying, this is my babe that Grevu has used his magic in protecting this whole time?” Demsey asked in awed astonishment and wonder and gratuity that even when you thought it was the child of a manwhore, you would would bear it and cause no harm to it and you’d be juast as loving and doting and safeguarding it which pleased him greatly and really proved to him the exceptional character you had as you nodded yes before he happily grabbed your face and kissed you with so much passion and so much feeling it was almost overpowering.

“Ok, new change of plans, I am marrying you as soon as I possibly can, I have a ring for you actually here, in my pocket, when you had that attendant hand the journal that I had written in back to me and that one line that you loved me back was all I needed to know, I figured you would be a while and I immediately rode to the closest jewelry store and bought you a ring and raced back and I barely made it back before we came inside the throne room. I am taking you home to Whydah and only keep whatever servants you’re really attached to back at Mirador but otherwise, leave the rest to whoever you want and I will never leave your side again and I pledge my heart, mind, soul and absolute fidelity to you from this day on.” Demsey vowed as he got the ring from his pocket and slipped it onto your finger.

“Likewise. Although I would like to make one small suggestion.” You offered as you wiped the last of your tears away.

“Name it, it’s yours.” Demsey answered back.

“If we ever get to the point where we need a break from being Duke and Duchess Voyambi, we can take breaks and go out on the town and Mr and Mrs. Draft.” You proposed which got him to smile wide and laugh.

“That sounds perfect. And we can continue to make bets in Kamoba, as Mr. and Mrs. Draft.” Demsey suggested.

“Perfect. Now, get what you need, load it onto Charlico because right now, he is yours, because it is only right that a mated pair of griffins be owned by a mated pair of people and fly Charlico home to Whydah.” You ordered as you looked at the aquamarine teal stoned ring with a halo of diamonds around it with so much pride and happiness and now that you knew that it was actually Demsey to save you from everything and that you had no more reasons to try to escape anything, because what you wanted and what you needed was already yours and already in your embrace and being married to Demsey and carrying his children was all you wanted and it made the sting of all the revelations earlier today melt away and you felt strengthened and fortified and so supremely happy because you were happily and freely choosing Demsey just as much as he was happily and freely choosing you, as “complicated” as the circumstances were.

“Yes Ma’am.” Demsey giggled as he kissed you again.

“Good dragon, very good dragon. I owe you everything. Thank you so much.” Demsey happily cooed to Grevu who happily wrapped his head and neck around you both and happily soaked up your affectionate petting and scratching just as a servant came into the barn.

“Is Duke Demsey Voyambi in here?” He called out.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Demsey said as you untangled from him as Grevu lifted his head to reveal you both and together you walked hand in hand to the servant who looked relieved to see you.

“And Sultana Saharazat! Oh good, I’ve found you too. Your bets on the Kamoba battles, they have returned along with their payouts.” He said as he handed Demsey a thick letter full of bills and then handed you a large parcel of bills too as you noticed the letters on top as addressed to Mr. Draft and Miss Draft.

“So who did you bet on?” You asked him.

“You, you beat out Benny, I bet on you to win the battle and you did.” Demsey said as he took the letter and showed you before you took the letter and showed him.

“You bet on me too?” He cooed to you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed the crown of your head as he read it.

“And with the pay out being one in 20 that you would win your class, I now have at least 2000 pounds here.” You giggled as you opened it to reveal the stacks of pound notes before you put those into the saddle bag with Heavencrest but kept the note and put it into your pocket.

“Would you come to Mirador with me today though? I still wish to have your input and sensibilities on how to handle all of the wealth and businesses and how I should alot what I’ve just inherited and who it should go to, but I do have one thing clear in mind, all businesses need to have unions for the workers, everything has a union back in Dorierra and when Jane told me that you were pro union, it of course makes the best sense, earning money is of course the goal but not at the price of the lives of your workers.” You suggested sweetly as he simply pocketed his own winnings but put the actual letter in a bet into his pocket where your ring had once occupied.

“Of course, I would be delighted to, and I’m honestly happy and relieved we agree on this.” He reassured you before Benny came rushing in with Sierge carrying a whole bag full of money since his bets were structured in such a way that they compounded so he just won over a hundred thousand pounds for Benny beating The Saharan Viper and The Copper Cobra along with your heir father, his wife and his mother.

“Grevu! Lift this curse off of me right now!” Benny demanded of Grevu as you and Demsey watched her pass you curiously as you snickered a laugh.

“Shut up Audra! You just won the world! You have no right to laugh at me!” Benny spat angrily as Grevu growled at her before he got up and balled himself up, like a cat curling up on a rug before a fire and turned away from her as your family was coming into the barn to leave too.

“Aw, does “the happy heart beat” not make you so happy Benny?” You asked her in a teasing, almost taunting tone.

“Don’t you dare say those words to me, there is nothing happy about this situation at all!” Benny said.

“Happy heart beat?” Demsey repeated.

“In the far east- in the emperors harem, that’s how pregnancy is diagnosed and what is said when it’s discovered. It’s a way of diagnosing pregnancy. Dr. Chu told me, that’s why I told Sierge to follow Benny and stay with her.” You revealed.

“And thats...” Demsey began as he looked at you questioningly.

“Yup.” You eagerly nodded with a bright smile.

“Oh good you have not left yet.” Your mother blew out a breath of relief at seeing you as all of them were carrying small packets of money, won from them betting on you for winning the Kamoba tournament.

“No, Demsey is coming to Mirador with us, since he’s been running his businesses with great success in the English market, I want his input to help me decide what I should do with all of the Morrigan’s businesses and help me decide who should get what.” You explained as you happily stood with your arm around his waist as he stood with his arm around your shoulders and happily held the other to your side as Benny just rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“Axal! Get your ass down here and have Grevu take this curse off of me this instant! He cursed me last night before the night Kamoba games and I refuse to live another moment under it!” Benny screamed down the barn which got everyone to stare at her in confusion except for you and Demsey who were content to just stand back and see how this was going to play out.

“How did he curse you?” Axal asked with a barely contained grin.

“He just...did! I just need him to lift it!” Benny hotly demanded.

“Right. I don’t believe you. Unless you can give me solid proof and evidence that he did and show me how he cursed you, I’m not getting involved at all.” Axal dismissed as he waived her off and began to walk away.

“He got me pregnant!” Benny desperately confessed as everyone gasped and stared at Benny in shock as you couldn’t help it, you snorted and snickered a laugh which soon infected Demsey too and the others around you.

“Wow! You had sex with Grevu? By heaven above, Sierge’s dick isn’t enough for you that you had to fuck my dragon?! How did he even fit…?” Axal began to ask.

“No! I didn’t fuck your dragon, his cock would split me in half! No, I...he made the seed that was already in me take root and now his magic is protecting that root and I need him to lift his protection of that root so I can remove it!” Benny finally confessed.

“And whose “root” is it?” Axal asked.

“Who knows, it could be mine, it could be Viscount Whiteales or any of the other orc gentlemen you were schmoozing with at the Kamoba lunch and dinner feasts, it’s hard to tell with a whoring slut like her.” Sierge said as everyone ‘ooooh’ed’ with another snickering laugh as Anavia and Loreiris tsked and shook their heads.

“Your mother will be so disappointed in you. You knew penilie- vaginal sex was forbidden for this very reason, is this why you couldn’t get the dowager status?” Loreiris asked.

“Yes, it’s cost me everything! Now Grevu, take it back!” Benny demanded.

“But what about that leverage you were going to use against Audra when and if she could not get you that Dowager status? Surely you can’t fault her- for you- not getting it, because we were all there to hear how she wanted all of us to have that status and didn’t single you out to not have it.” Loreiris pointed out.

“You were going to betray Audra after everything she did for you?” Your mother scuffed in disgust.

“No, I wasn’t, I swear!” Benny said as real fear came back into her eyes.

“But you told me that you were going to.” Loreiris insisted.

“And me,” your heir father insisted.

“And me,” his wife Maradiem added.

“And me,” his mother Anavia added.

“It was just something to say for the Kamoba, I didn’t mean it!” Benny pleaded as your whole family began coming towards her and began to surround her as everyone was glaring at her before she was pushed back so that her back hit the wall.

“What is going on now?” Yalin and her children asked as they came into the stables to see your family off and saw Benny as she ducked and dodged through your family to get to her.

“Please Mama Yalin, you have to help me! Grevu cursed me so that seed took root in my womb and his magic is protecting the root and I need it removed before I could ever go back to Dorierra!” Benny pleaded.

“Well whose seed was it?” Yalin asked.

“Sierge’s.” Benny finally confessed.

“Are you sure? You were seen practically hanging all over all the other orc families yesterday, it could have been any of theirs, after all, you were offering all of them the leverage you had collected for Gregori against Audra and Demsey so Audra could be with Ramsey, but obviously, you see how that didn’t go so well.” Loreiris said as she gestured to you and Demsey as well as to Ramsey who was between Axal and Octavia.

“So you were going to try to sell that leverage to the highest bidder?” Yalin asked Benny as she pulled away from Benny and fixed her with a disapproving glare.

“No!” Benny shook her head no.

“That’s not what she told everyone else, I specifically overheard her tell Kate Whitesale and her brother that she would give that leverage to them so that Kate would be the next Duchess Voyambi and that Benny would be the next Viscountess Whitesale since Sierge was the second son and heir to nothing and had no power or wealth to his name because it all rested with Demsey and how getting that leverage came with ‘the unfortunate side effect of Sierge’s attentions and affections which you did not at all return’.” Loreiris paraphrased.

“I overheard those exact sentiments too, you offered the same thing to the other orc families that day too and swore up and down how you had Sierge’s unwanted and unreciprocated attentions and affections and how you needed “saving from him”.” Axal insisted.

“Oh dear, did you get caught in your own web?” Yalin asked Benny as she shook her head and looked so profoundly disappointed.

“Well, unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t help you. Because the right thing to do was once you saw that whatever leverage you got by whatever means you used, was no longer wanted or needed, you should have been a good friend to Audra and forgotten all about it. Because I never asked you to get that leverage and I never wanted it used against Audra. Who has clearly already had enough horrible tactics used on her.” Yalin offered.

“And I never asked you to get leverage on her either. So your leverage was and is completely useless to me.” Ramsey insisted.

“Nor I.” Charlotte chimed in.

“No but your father did!” Benny insisted to Ramsey and Charlotte.

“Right, the same one who hired a doctor to poison an old man to death, how did that turn out by the way?” Ramsey sarcastically mocked her before turned to his mother.

“Horribly. I fear your father faces some intense discipline and will be forced to pay recompense with interest for years and years to come.” Yalin answered.

“And once it is known that you are with child, that classifies you as “fallen” and no man in nobility in any country either here or anywhere else in Europa wants a fallen lady, no one will want to claim you. I suppose if you have anyone at Dorierra will take you on- in such a condition, that would be what’s best but for fallen ladies, there are few choices. Maybe the father might be induced to take you, if he will have you but only if you had not betrayed him or tried to cast him off before hand. But with the fortune Sierge just won from the Kamoba, he could have any number of ladies.” Yalin said as she gestured to him.

“And with that fortune he could buy any number of the businesses I just inherited, so it’s not like he’s left with nothing, no fortune or income or power or influence, he could be a man of industry and wealth that might even exceed his brother and he could always claim his own title of nobility, it might not be as high as a Duke but it’s better than nothing, after all we are all Maquis now right?” You pointed out to everyone else who had agreed on staying in England.

“But he’s the one who gave me the leverage against you in the first place!” Benny said as she pointed at Sierge accusingly as everyone then looked at Sierge.

“Look, you and your hands and mouth were very persuasive but I only told you what you wanted to hear. It’s not like anything that I told you was necessarily completely true or at all accurate or even current. Because what’s that saying? Something only ten percent true is still 100% misleading? You’re not the only one who knows how to work other people and you weren’t subtle about the fact that you were working me, but thanks for the inside info to bet on you against the Saharan Viper, even as dirty as you played her, I now have enough money to buy any bride I wanted from Dorierra if I ever wanted one, or I could just as easily court and marry any eligible lady here in England. So, all in all, thanks Benny for doing me the backhanded favor.” Sierge winked at Demsey with a smug smile himself a shrug from his shoulders.

“But the fact that you’re not just willing, but desperately wanting to kill my unborn child because it just happens to inconvenience you and puts your treachery on display and exposes you for who and what you really are. I don’t know if I want you as a wife. I can’t trust that you wouldn’t hurt any other children I could ever give to you if I were to take you as my wife, for any number of reasons. So go ahead, let Grevu lift his protection from you and “uproot” the little sapling and destroy it before it can sprout any further as you so chose to phrase it. You’re free of my attentions and affections as of this moment and every moment to come, exactly how you wanted to be, right?” Sierge questioned rhetorically as even you could see the beginning of tears start to make his eyes glassy as he tried to remain composed as even you could feel how profoundly hurt he was by this betrayal too.

“Yes, you know why? Because you never once respected me! Or women in general. You treated me like a pet, a toy, you feel a woman’s place is in the home, birthing heirs and too stupid for anything else, helpless and weak and completely dependant. I am so much more than you could ever comprehend, let alone appreciate. And being forced to be bonded, much less married to a stupid, honorless, pig headed, stubborn, egotistical, selfish, much less completely incompetent, lackluster lover, who is as reckless with honor as he is money. You are ruination itself! And you will lose all of that wealth as quickly as you got it!” Benny roared angrily as everyone blinked in surprise.

“Wow, been holding that in for a while now huh?” Calla asked Benny.

“Yes, and I’m done, Leumeni, Coravien, come on, we’re leaving. we are going home to Dorierra, we can still catch the train.” Benny barked at her brothers.

“I’m not leaving with you. I’m free, remember? Unlike you, I got dowager status, so I don’t answer to you. Besides, everything I could ever want and need is right here with me in England. Not in Dorierra.” Leumeni answered back calmly as he looked to Kiera who happily took his hand and held it tight.

“And you’re more than welcome to stay at Mirador while you find a fine house of your own.” You offered to him.

“Thanks, I’ll take you up on that.” Leumeni smiled happily.

“Me too, if Demsey will take me on as a partner in his soap business, I’ll give him every soap recipe I know and we can have the same soaps and things here that we do at home. Besides, I’m a Marquis here in England and the King offered me a living of ten thousand pounds a year, which I understand is a lot and the other orc ladies here are actually really pretty. So I’m staying too.” Coravien answered his sister back too.

“Yeah can I get in on that soap thing too?” Leumeni asked.

“Absolutely. I’d be happy to have you on board.” Demsey readily agreed as you smiled happily at him as you squeezed him into your side and being so proud to have such a wonderful man as your fiance.

“And London needs a proper moura restaurant,” Storren pointed out.

“Yeah, I ain't going back either, I’d love to open a good moura restaurant. Give that Savoy I keep hearing about a good run for its money.” Brima grinned.

“And my place is with Tzane, I ain’t going back either, not until I marry Tzane and we go back together to gather all of my things from Dorrierra so I can fully move here, Whydah is from what I hear a large home, big enough for more than one couple.” Calla shrugged.

“Mama Yalin?” You called out.

“Yes Audra Dear?” Yalin asked, happy and elated that you were still speaking to her in such an affectionate way, having feared that Gregori had completely destroyed your relationships with their entire family.

“Would it be possible to get a marriage license for Demsey and I to get married sooner than later, he has asked me to marry him and I’ve accepted, and I would like to get married within the week at least so that all the members of my family who wish to return to Dorierra can see me get married in the moura tradition before they leave to go home to Dorierra?” You asked her hopefully as you raised your left hand and turned it so she could see it as everyone gasped excitedly and cheered to see it before offering their congratulations to both of you.

“Surely you can postpone your departure from England for a day or two can’t you Benny? You could still go back with my family when they want to go back.” You offered rather sweetly, if not just a tad smugly because what you had told her in the Kamoba battle was coming true, just the way the gods and goddesses had told you it would.

“Only if Grevu will lift this curse off of me first.” Benny decided.

“Grevu, go ahead, do as she asks. Lift the protection.” Axal decided before Benny marched down and kneeled in front of Grevu who blew a red smoke over her and then inhaled it all back in a moment later.

“Thank you, you overgrown rat with wings.” Benny snipped as she turned away from him before Grevu spitefully growled and knocked her down onto the floor on her way out with his snout as Benny cursed in pain before she felt the pain seep and radiate from her lower belly as she clutched it as everyone else just shook their heads and carried on with business of getting ready to leave as Siege simply walked out of the barn and towards the carriage with his other siblings and their partners since his parents had left Buckingham palace to their London home right after the “court” was ajourned.

“You ready Demsey Darling?” You asked Demsey as you both got into Heavencrest’s and Charlico’s saddles respectfully.

“Absolutely Audra Dearest.” Demsey grinned before he put the helmet on before Heavencrest and Charlico raced to reach to the skies as Demsey and yourself flew to Mirador to discuss business with your family and friends, including Marquise Bellafont because you wanted her to tell her children herself of their own freedom and rise to nobility since the King and Queen had quickly signed off on her nobility so she could show it to her children herself.

Once you arrived home, Rose, Myra’s eldest daughter, was the first to greet you.

“My Lady, you would not believe what the papers have been saying about you.” Rose began.

“Rose, I love you dearly, but I need you to go back inside and get dressed in your Sunday best, your mother is coming with really fantastic, exciting news, and get all of your siblings and tell them to do the same.” You excitedly told her.

“Really?” Rose asked you.

“Yes really, and after today, you and your siblings are servants to no one, not even me.” You hinted as she gasped as she looked from you to Duke Demsey who was nodding in confirmation with you, wearing a similar smile.

“Excuse me then,” Rose happily excused herself as she rushed back into the house and called all of her siblings together and repeated what you told them as they all quickly left and got dressed in their Sunday best and packed everything they owned before their mother arrived and eagerly embraced her children and revealed the truth and then repeated what the King and Queen had told her what the story should be as they all agreed to the story before they came back to you as all of them hugged you tight before you presented them with your winnings.

“Now, this is all I was able to win in the Kamoba battle, take this money, go to a really good dress shop or even a few of them, put this down as a down payment on your new wardrobes. I want every member of your family to dress and appear as lofty as your station permits. I have some jewelry I wish to bestow upon all of you. Although I will insist that all of Agnes’ jewelry be given to Jane along with anything else Jane has any sentimental attachments to and I understand if Jane would like to inherit her mother’s connections and will use them how she sees fit.” You insisted.

“Oh of course, of course.” Myra readily agreed.

“Now it will take time to save up some money for decent dowries for the ladies. But once everyone else gets here, and we all discuss together how we are going to divide everything. I’m sure by the end of tonight, all of us will be satisfied with the outcomes.” You reassured them.

“Thank you Audra, you’ve been so good to us, is there anything we can do to repay you?” Rose asked as she hugged you again.

“Just stick to the story that the King proclaimed, be kind and good to Jane and especially little Edward. He will miss his parents, but hopefully when he grows up, he will learn to accept things. And I want all of you to have the same freedom I’m going to enjoy, and that is to choose for yourselves what your lives will be, who you marry and marry for love if you can at all possible, if you even want to get married that is. But choose happiness, whatever that may be and I will do my best to find some kind of tutor, so that all of you get the same education and same learning and gain understanding of business so that you handle your new acquisitions well and not squander it or let anyone take advantage of you either. You are neither servant or slave to anyone’s will but your own from this moment on.” You urged them before everyone seemed to arrive as you introduced your family to Myra’s children.

You all crammed in around your table as several ladies had to take on the laps of their partners as your steward from Broadcove, Mr. Chattingham, who was so happy to hear of your own victory and in a way, Myra’s victory over his own former masters was key in knowing all the businesses that Edward Senior, Richard and Agnes had, and doubted much had changed in the year since his service to them ended and had incredible insights on what businesses would be best for each of your brothers as well as Myra’s sons as you and Demsey insisted that each business would have a union to protect it’s workers as Mr. Chattingham named who Richard had hired to specifically root out union organizers within his businesses as you knew already who you were going to be immediately firing before you hand them over since your parents had gotten word before they left that a messenger from the King along with Scotland Yard had been dispatched to all of the banks and other businesses and was in the process of having it all turned over to you and put into your name as it was immediately a prerequisite that the unions would be brought in and stay in place or you would not hand any of them over because even in Dorierra, every Dorrieran man was in his own union with the stables so such a thing was not new to you or anyone from your family as even Sierge offered to buy a business himself so that he had something other than his family’s soap business and his soon to be brother in law’s restaurant, but something to call all his own before there was a knock on the door.

“Hi, I’m Mage Amaryllis, Mage Altissia informed me that there was a spell on this house to disable the messengeraries? And she asked me to come and lift it.” She offered.

“Yes, thank you so much for coming, please, do whatever you can.” You invited her.

“Thank you.” She said before she found the absolute center point of the house and closed her eyes before moving and gesturing around herself as you saw what looked like magic shackles begin to break around the messengeraris in each room before she did a pulling down motion from the ceiling and all of a sudden it felt like a fresh breeze flowed through the house as the very air felt lighter and less stuffy or still or smothering.

“There, much better, things should be working much better and much smoother from now on.” Mage Amaryllis smiled.

“Thank you so much, how much do I owe you?” You asked.

“Nothing, the King and Queen have already paid me and I just came from Broadcove and have already lifted this same spell from there. But if you ever do need anything else, either magically or otherwise, here’s my messengerari address as well as my own home address here in London, write or call any time.” She said as she handed you a card with her name and contact information written on it as she had another one for Myra before everyone else also took a card from her before she saw herself out before Myra and all of her children did the same as you assured them that they were all definately invited to your wedding whenever you got a chance to plan it and execute it.

“Ok, I need to try something.” You told your family as you left the dining room and went to the living room took the keypad on the messengerari in the livingroom and punched in the address to your other friends back in Dorierra and smiled excitedly as your friends faces then began to fill the surface as they were equally surprised and happy and excited to see you.

“Demsey!” You called as he came in before you took his hand and introduced him to your friends.

“This is Duke Demsey Voyambi, I’m marrying him as soon as our marriage license comes through and it will be a love match this time.” You informed them proudly as they all gasped and gushed and squealed and offered you their congratulations.

“So like, how soon is soon?” Jenniverre asked.

“Probably a few days,” Demsey answered.

“Oh that’s more than enough time, who wants to fly to London with me?” Jenniverre asked everyone who was on the group call.

“Oh give me an hour to get packed, do you have a room where we could stay?” Jenniverre asked.

“Yes. Is there any way you guys can bring some figs? Like bushel baskets full or even saplings?” You asked hopefully.

“Yeah, why?” They asked.

“Pregnancy cravings.” You answered in Marinai with a bashful blush and smile.

“And? Was it at least good?” They eagerly asked.

“Oh, how divine is the god’s blessing!” You said as you waived your hand above your head which was a marinai euphemism for meaning ‘sex so good it’s as if you were having actual sex with the gods’ which got them all to giggle and laugh salaciously.

“Oooh, of course of course, yeah, you got it, we’ll stop by the greenhouses.” Adrilody confirmed.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can get packed and saddled up, we’re flying in, see you soon! I can’t wait!” Jenniverre squealed as she and the others quickly got off the call.

“As if this house wasn’t full enough.” You chuckled to Demsey.

“Well Whydah is huge, they are just as welcome there too, any friend of yours is a friend of mine, just as any enemy of yours is an enemy of mine too.” Demsey offered.

“Thank you.” You thanked him appreciatively as you stood on tip toe as he ducked down to kiss you easier as he couldn’t help but palm your lower belly reverently.

“What does ‘savacia’ mean?” Demsey asked.

“Pregnancy cravings.” You answered.

“Wow, this early?” Demsey asked.

“Oh yeah, moura’s can tell almost instantaneously when we get pregnant, morning sickness hits early but really only lasts a week at the most, usually only a few days, Grevu hid my morning sickness by making you and Axal start throwing up and I was so distracted with the mourkatili poisoning and Dr. Chu did say that I would have cravings but what’s usually the go to thing that those who have been cured from mourkatili is actually- vegetables, like celery, usually rhubarb. So for me, the figs were a surprise and I didn’t think anything of it.” You murmured.

“Who said “savacia”?” Your mother asked as she came into the living room from having walked down the hallway from the bathroom that was in the hallway.

“I didn’t. Calla?” Benny asked her as she came down from claiming a room of her own upstairs.

“Nope, I did.” You volunteered.

“The figs! Figs are your savacia?!” Your mother exclaimed excitedly.

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I really wanted to get married, rather quickly, to the father.” You answered as you nodded over to Demsey as everyone came rushing in and congratulating you again.

“So I was right?! You are pregnant!” Benny gasped as a smug smile threatened to overtake her face.

“Yes I am, about three and a half weeks along.” You confirmed.

“So I was right about you getting pregnant at the Masquerade Ball.” Benny beamed, feeling vindicated that she her hunch was right.

“Yup, but not by any manwhore as you so claimed, but by him, he just changed his clothes and went under our assumed names we gave each other so as not to cause any suspicion and we’ve been secretly courting for say, the last two months would you say? Keeping it so secret and hidden away was especially hard on both of us, especially when I was being pursued by the Raymonds, wasn’t it?” You readily supplied your family as Demsey didn’t dare disagree with you because that sounded like the perfect explanation for everything as he found himself smiling brightly because that should have been the truth because he had every intention of telling you he wanted to court you at the ball at Havenfield but he got interrupted by Ramsey in the art gallery.

“So hi, I’m Audra Draft, pleasure to meet you.” You said to Benny as you offered your hand to shake hers as she looked both disgusted and disappointed by the fact that her “leverage” wasn’t even real leverage at all as she crossed her arms under her bountiful bosom and scowled at you before you let your hand drop.

“You! You lied to me!” Benny accused Sierge who was just grinning smugly himself, proud of his brother for finally connecting the dots so to speak but he wasn’t about to disagree with those sentiments.

“Yup, it’s true, I did lie to you, because what kind of brother would I be if I actually gave my brother up for something as meaningless as what you talked up our exchange to be? Demsey only gave me Audra’s assumed name, to protect her and her honor and I respected him enough to respect his wishes in protecting her and her honor. Something which you’ve been hell bent on destroying since the beginning. And I wasn’t going to let you actually have anything capable of destroying me and my family.” Sierge tossed back as Benny narrowed her eyes dangerously at him.

“But since she’s pregnant, she’s not “fallen” too?” Benny demanded.

“No, absolutely not, I’m the one that got her that way and I have every intention of making her an honorable and upstanding lady and no one would dare question me or my word about the matter and it’s still early enough that when we take our honeymoon to anywhere she wants to go, it’s not uncommon for new brides to come home pregnant from their honeymoon.” Demsey reasoned.

“Just think, the same could have been for you, if you hadn’t insisted on “uprooting my seed” as you so “delicately” put it.” Sierge murmured from his corner across the room.

“So? How was it? Was it good at least?” Axal murmured in your ear.

“Oh how divine is the gods blessing!” You repeated with the same way you did before which got your whole family to cheer and laugh as Benny scuffed in disgust.

“You know, maybe you should go back to Dorierra, you’ve beaten The Saharan Viper in Kamoba of all things, surely any man would think twice before harassing you on the train.” Your mother suggested with a forced polite smile.

“You will have to hurry, the last train leaves in an hour and a half.” Tzane suggested as he looked at the time from the clock in the room.

“Fine, I will.” Benny said as she went back upstairs and got repacked as you called your carriage around and got Benny’s things loaded up as she used her remaining fee she had been paid just for coming as Leumeni and Coravien saw her off.

“Well now, shall we go out to dinner? To the Savoy perhaps?” You suggested to everyone else once Benny rode away in the carriage.

“But I’ll need you to help me get dressed,” you urged Demsey before taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs to your bedroom to finally strip out of your pant suit since you had long since peeled yourself out of your riding leathers and the moment the door was shut Demsey’s hands were already all over you, practically ripping these clothes off of you.

“So what does “ah-shamala-show-in” mean?” Demsey asked as you helped him get undressed to a degree too as you walked him towards a chair for a quick sex session before dinner.

“It means ‘oh how divine is the gods blessing’ in the literal translation. But it’s a euphemism in marinai that means ‘sex so good it’s like having sex with a god’.” You giggled as you got him into the chair and readily seated yourself on your now familiar friend and began to ride him with gusto.

“Ah, that makes everyone’s reactions much more understandable. And may I just say- the feeling is very much mutual.” Demsey happily replied as he drove up into you with equal passion as he held you so close and looked up at you like you were a goddess he would be devoutly worshiping for the rest of his life as you welcomed his affections with open arms, literally, as your moura marks were lighting up the room brighter than any candle or fire could.

“Gods I just should have told you sooner, I should have been able to tell you at the ball at Havenfield that I wanted to court you.” Demsey confessed as nipped at your ear after kissing up the column of your graceful neck.

“I have a feeling you were about to before Ramsey cut you off.” You smiled as your fingers carded through his hair and scratched deliciously at his scalp while his own fingernails raked down your back as his cock was exactly what your body had been craving this whole time as you were almost beside yourself in happiness that you actually sexually craved your soon to be husband and were almost helplessly attracted to him on every level.

“I should have been rude and insisted on saying it anyway.” Demsey confided.

“Well in my mind and heart, you did and obviously, you have my answer.” You giggled before you kissed him soundly.

“You can say that you wanted to keep it quiet out of respect for Ramsey and of course Gregori and Yalin and you wanted to make sure that I had my choice of any bachelor of my choosing but seeing me being openly courted by another just cemented our feelings for each other and simply as a ruse you pretended to be interested in your other options.” You reassured him just before you found your release and, for the sake of the others in the house, you kept your keening cry of bliss down by biting down on the juncture of his neck and shoulder and whimpering while your body shuddered in delight which only spurned Demsey to finally release his precious seed into the only “field” it belonged in as he held you so tight.

“I am never, ever- letting you go.” Demsey professed as he nuzzled the crux of your neck and shoulder and breathed in deeply, cementing this wonderful smell of you in his mind and was so relieved that the woman who he had fallen in love with and the woman he had fallen into lust with- were the same woman and supremely relieved that any stigma or jealousy you may have felt when you found out about the “other Audra” was now done and over with and any he had felt had melted into nothingness. This was so much better than he could have ever hoped, or imagined or even feared and once you both recovered he, very patiently and lovingly helped you get dressed in a gown that you insisted matched what he was wearing so that you looked like a proper couple before simply putting your hair up in a simple bun to hide it’s rather shortened nature.

You returned downstairs to where your family had gathered and had to take a few carriages to the restaurant before they happily got one big table put together as Demsey invited his parents back for the meal to see for themselves and they were so happy and overjoyed to have you in the family even if they were disappointed that Benny had chosen not to stay with Sierge but they were relieved and pleasantly surprised to hear the news of your “secret” courting of their son and realized that was why you were polite with Ramsey but were not returning his efforts and realized that Demsey had actually played that circumstance cleverly and were thrilled to have Leumeni and Coravien added to the family soap business as well as Leumeni, Calla and Storren added to their family and eagerly talked to Brima and Coravien about the other orc ladies that were in the gentry before as they of course had their own ideas about the wedding as Demsey made sure to insist that it should be as soon as your friends could arrive and that it should be rather small, with only family and close friends because your wedding to Edward had been so big and such a huge ordeal that you didn’t need or want that big of a wedding which you readily agreed with which his parents could not argue with as it was readily agreed that the London home would be better equipped to handle such an affair then since the majority of the guests would be at your own home as Amara and Storren also announced their courting, along with Kiera and Leumeni and Calla and Tzane as their weddings would be much more planned and prepared because Calla, Kiera and Amara wanted the bigger, grander weddings which you and Demsey did confirm you would be back from your honeymoon in time to attend and you were all relieved when Demesy’s parents gladly accepted the cover that the King had insisted on, especially with you and Jane especially providing off the cuff “details” that added more “authenticity” to it and made it sound closer to the gospel truth as it was accepted as such as Jane was given the most sincerest sympathies for the sudden loss of her parents and their sanity but the fact that she was protected because of her being at the Palace of Windsor as you continued to eat dinner with Demsey on one side of you and Jane on the other, just as it should be.

#Blood For Gold #Blood For Gold Chapter 21 #regency era orc period drama #regency orcs #orcs #orc love story #orc romance #Mouras

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writerofthespiral · 3 years

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Kane's Court Analysis #1 - Phule

Author’s Note: I don’t know if I’ll make this a full series or not, but I really just thought that the Armada court, and Phule by that extension, was interesting, especially read from a historical and psychological standpoint. Yes, I'm a nerd.

Word Count: 4,205

Tw: Mentions of Mental Illness

Kane’s Court Analysis - Phule

I. Introduction

A lot can be said about Kane’s court and the machines he built to achieve his grandiose ideas of a perfect world, but more can be said about the cogs in his system. Phule is a broken cog — one that stepped out of line, helped us, and saved the day. He’s someone to be cautious of, love, or fear. There's a certain complexity about him that, when put into perspective, adds a fresh layer to Phule.

II. Behind the Design

When talking about a character in any game, film, or media space, it’s important to tackle the significance of their design. Oftentimes, a person can tell a lot about someone from their looks, which is especially true for the Armada Elites. Phule, for example, is obviously based on a court jester, but it’s not all jokes and laughs.

The Meaning Of The Mask

When talking about Phule’s appearance — or any of the Armada Elite’s — it’s important to understand that they’re mainly based on the Venetian Carnival, the Commedia dell’Arte, and Greek theatre (with hints of Roman influence). Phule’s mask is based on four different masks: The Joker Mask, Comedy & Tragedy, the Pantalone Mask, and the Arlecchino Mask.

The most straight-forward element about Phule is the Jester Mask, seeing as he is a jester. Simply put, "The Joker or Jolly Venetian Masks depict the role of the Jester in the Italian Middle Ages...The Jesters... wore brightly colored clothing in a motley pattern and they were known for their incessant laughter" (Venetian Mask Company). The Jester Mask represents someone who is colorful and entertaining to his audience. It's a universally known mask meant to be taken at face value, just like Phule, until one looks at the other key components of his mask.

When looking at Phule, one sees the famous Comedy & Tragedy Mask associated with theatre and the extremes between euphoria and sorrow. But what most don't know is that the mask has a long, rich history associated with emotions and the human psyche. According to The Greek Designers, "The Comedy mask is known as Thalia, who in Greek mythology is the Muse of Comedy and Idyllic Poetry, portrayed as a happy, cheerful young woman crowned with ivy" (The Greek Designers). The Tragedy mask, in turn, is known as Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy, who's depicted with the mask in one hand and a knife or club in the other.

The historical significance fails to stop there. "People often relate the masks to Dionysus originally. Dionysus is the Greek God of wine. The masks depict the happy and sad emotions that drinking wine can bring. They have also been linked to the Greek God Janus which is known as the two-faced god of beginnings. It is said Janus lent the name to the masks" (OnStage Blog). This detail is important, because Dionysus and Janus are both significant Gods. Commonly known as the God of wine and ecstasy, Dionysus was the God of madness. And as the God of madness, he was often a symbol of liberation and rebellion for the lower class and marginalized of Greek society — namely slaves. Then, there’s Janus, known as the two-faced Roman God, representing the transition between war and peace, and beginnings and endings.

In addition to this two-faced mask, Phule's mask has hints of the Pantalone Mask. The Pantalone Mask's features include: an exaggerated nose, cheekbones, eyebrows, and a mustache. The Pantalone Mask is the best-known Venetian Masks. It arose from the La Commedia dell’ Arte character, Pantalone, who was one of the most powerful characters. But, the mask itself was created before the Commedia dell’Arte theatre began to use it.

The character of Pantalone is described as “An old Venetian merchant, often very rich and highly esteemed by the nobility, Pantalone is originally known simply by his formal title, Magnifico. A self-made man, he has reached his wealth with ruthless tactics and keeps his money close to him" (The Venetian Mask). He is rich, greedy, lustful, and naïve. Pantalone is, “gullible enough for being taken advantage of from his “servant lovers” or male subordinates: servants, doctors, captains, whoever can get money out of him" (Roberto Delpiano).” His lust also leads to him being rejected by the women he pursues, making him an enemy of the youth.

Applying the Pantalone Mask to Phule, it’s easy to see why he and the Pirate — for the majority of the game — were enemies seeing as Pantalone is a natural enemy to the young. However, it also implies that he was taken advantage of by those around him and was a laughing stock. And, of course, his willingness to save himself and betray his father to save himself is 'selfish' in nature — more on that later.

The last mask, of course, is the Arlecchino Mask (which also inspires Phule's general get-up). More commonly known as the Harlequin Mask, the wearer serves a similar purpose to the Jester, which evolved over time. According to one article:

"As one of the lower ranking, lazier, and stupider servants, he [Arlecchino] is often abused by being yelled at or beaten (with slapstick stage combat) by his masters and others or never paid his wages. Yet he does have a certain luck and can be clever enough to grab hold of any seemingly fortunate situation that happens upon him. He might not think up a plan on his own but he can come up with some amazingly complicated and absurd explanations and rationalizations. Later period harlequins were more prone to become clever tricksters and rascally tramps while still often being foolish or stupid" (Commedia Dell'Arte).

On top of being a tragic figure for the entertainment of others, Arlecchino is said to have demonic origins. “One of the demons in the XXIst, XXIInd and XXIIIrd cantos of Dante’s Inferno is, indeed, called Alichino. The name itself seems to be related to the Old French word for “ghost”, i.e. hellequin, which, in turn, comes from the Germanic root for “hell”. Starting from Dante’s Inferno, this demon would therefore develop into a comic character" (CA’ MACANA). In a way, this gives one some insight into Phule not being a monster, but a tormented soul.

What It Means To Be A Court Jester

One can’t analyze Phule without talking about what he is — a court jester. But his role is no laughing matter. In fact, in a historical context, Kingisle did a decent job in portraying him.

To understand fools, it’s important to understand the three different types of fools: the innocent fool (or natural fool), the amateur fool, and the professional jester (or licensed fool). A natural fool was someone with physical or mental deformities that made it hard for them to receive employment as anything else. Typically, “wealthy or noble families also adopted men and women who had mental illnesses or physical deformities, keeping them almost as pets for their amusement or as an act of ‘Christian charity’”(History extra).

A licensed fool, on the other hand, could best be described as someone hired for their wits and talents, normally wearing regular clothes. Lastly, there were Amatuer fools — they usually wore the jester costume we’re associated with. In any case, “..those with physical deformities, such as extreme hunchback, malformed limbs, particularly ugly visages, etc. were prized, as were dwarves…” (TodayIFoundOut). Taking this into account, and the brazen nature of Valencia, it’s apparent Phule served as both a natural fool and a licensed fool, possibly serving as entertainment for King Casimir. But seeing as court jesters had duties other than entertainment, Phule served Kane very differently.

Although we didn’t see the entertainment-based responsibilities of Phule, we, as players, did see part of his militaristic responsibilities. That’s right — court jesters served important roles to their lord during times of war. In fact, they were political advisors. “Because they had no real fear of reprisal, jesters were able to speak their mind and offer advice when others may have feared to give it” (WeirdHistory). Kings and Queens would often go to them for advice on political matters and choices they’d made. On top of that, Court Jesters were expected to be the bearers of bad news for their lords, having to utilize their wit and comedy to tactfully deliver unsavory messages.

In addition to delivering messages to their lords, jesters would also deliver messages to their enemies during times of war. They were theoretically protected, but there were some that would shoot the messenger — from imprisonment to execution. In addition to their messenger duties, jesters would entertain the King’s troops during times of war to raise their morale.

On top of that, they were also masters of mental warfare as well. Some jesters would ride on the front lines, spewing insults at the enemy. They rode in front of troops to make sure the opponent could hear them. And while this may seem ridiculous, "...the idea was for the jester to provoke those enemies who had explosive tempers into breaking ranks and charging prematurely" (Weird History).

Phule did his job, and did it well, despite his apparent shortcomings. He got under our Pirate’s skin by claiming that he could hear our heartbeat, and lead his own squadron of soldiers. He’s just as threatening when we next see him captured in Fort Elena, albeit much friendlier. And of course, he still manages to affect the Pirate, though he has little time on screen, by causing us a few inconveniences.

He may not have been Spymaster, but he was effective in implanting fear and paranoia in his enemies. Take, for example, the Villa Trigante instance in which the Pirate is — presumably —betrayed and sent to the cellars by Don Giovanni. One of the resistance fighters we face, Beniccio Amati, is quick to say: "You're persistent. I'd expect no less... From Phule's spies…” (P101). And although we aren’t one of Phule’s spies, it makes one wonder: Just how many times has this happened?

In addition to his competence, we can presume Phule is powerful. He’s clearly akin to a Witchdoctor, but we don’t know much else about him. We have, however, seen the results of a battle with him. He cleared a path for the Pirate to enter The Machine, in which, there are plenty of Armada soldiers strewn about. It’s possible that his abilities manifested themselves similarly to Bishop’s use of electricity, that he had some mojo capabilities comparable to Kane (meaning that he could possibly teleport), or that he is wholly chaotic and mojo-based like the Player (if they're a Witchdoctor). If the latter is true, it plays into what Phule said about being destroyed due to being imperfect, especially since the Armada banned hoodoo within their sphere of influence. In any case, it is interesting to see how so much can be told from Phule’s character design alone, but there's still more to explore.

III. Character Analysis

Kingisle put a lot of thought into what type of character Phule would be. According to his Rouge’s Gallery video, Phule “seems to operate purely out of whimsy and caprice” (KI) and “speaks in two different voices, shifting back and forth between twin personalities who are as antagonistic toward each other as they are to any enemy…” (KI). Phule isn’t all there, but make no mistake: he is very capable of doing what he does. The video goes on further to elaborate “that Phule shifts allegiances faster and more often than any other court member”(Ki), which makes sense with how his relationship with the Pirate turns out — which will be touched on later — and gives the player a basic idea of who Phule is, though there is more to analyze.

Our Meetings With Phule

Besides a few outside sources, most of what we know about Phule comes from the three times we see him: Granchia, Fort Elina, and at The Machine (with the exception of the Villa Trigante Cellar), in which a lot more can be observed.

When we first meet Phule in the Granchia Catacombs, the Pirate sees him leading a small squadron of soldiers. It is here that we first meet the two sides of Phule (whom I will refer to as Comedy and Tragedy).

Comedy is a mix between welcoming, eccentric, and mischievous. In one breath he says “Don’t bother trying to hide, I can hear your heartbeat” (P101), yet he also claims to want to let us go. Furthermore, he calls the Pirate resourceful, saying that, “you’d be quite a thorn in the side of Deacon, Bishop, or Kane himself…” (P101). Meanwhile, it is Tragedy that orders his captains to attack us, calling for our surrender.

What's interesting about this first meeting, upon reflection, is that Comedy seems to think about helping us. I’m not suggesting that one side of Phule is ‘good’ and the other is ‘evil’, but that Tragedy seems more inclined to be protective of whatever is in Phule’s best interests. Comedy, on the other hand, is Phule’s desires. This may be why the two sides often disagree. One side thinks we’d be useful in his desired goals while the other does what needs to be done.

When the Pirate discovers Phule in Fort Elena, their interaction is short, but something to note: Phule slightly warms up to the Pirate. Tragedy is still hostile, but comes off as though he was attempting to keep up a facade. Comedy, of course, is the opposite, going so far as to ask us about why we weren’t in Cool Ranch messing with Deacon. In fact, Comedy gives us a well done, because “...[you’ve] become quite the thorn after all” (P101), then tells us to run along with our quest.

And then, there’s the final time we see Phule — right before the machine. Instead of arguing, both sides of Phule are working together for a common goal: to oppose Kane. Both sides of Phule were waiting for us at the machine, both of them told us Kane’s plan, and both agreed to give the Pirate the Key.

And why does he do this? Phule is able to recognize that he isn’t perfect as Kane would say, in his own words. As Comedy it’s, “I've grown fond of this world, and would hate to see it destroyed. I've also grown fond of you. But most of all? I'm just curious to see what will happen" (P101). And after Tragedy sends his regards to Kane, this is the last we see of Phule.

Another thing of note, is when Gazpaccio calls Phule a tormented soul, which begs the question: Does Kane see Phule in the same light he sees Gazpaccio? More than likely, yes, which may have influenced the way he treated the Clockwork. Another thing — how well Gazpaccio and Phule knew each other? Sadly, there’s not much to work with to answer this question.

In any case, these events reveal the type of person Phule is: part of him is chaotic and wants freedom, the other side of him is objective, if not spiteful. Together, the two sides of Phule make a being that is neither wholly good, nor bad, but certainly eccentric, which begs the question: What is Phule to us, the Pirate?

Friend Or Foe?

Although it’s safe to say that Phule is on friendly terms, he and the Pirate aren’t exactly friends. He did betray Kane, but had ulterior motives of his own. And while it appears he’s been contemplating his betrayal for some time, there have also been times when he’s antagonized the Pirate. We also know that he’s a jack-of-all-trades with experience in espionage, being a general, and an admiral. And referring back to the Rouge’s Gallery, “the most paranoid Valencian intriguers wonder if Phule’s antics aren’t just a clever act, hiding a method behind the madness” (KI).

The thing is, we may never truly know if we can or cannot trust Phule. While he may not be our friend per se, our goals aligned, and it's been established that Phule’s alliances don't often last long. He may laugh and revel in the failure of his fellow court members, but he isn't there to like us. In fact, we may serve as a form of entertainment to him, because Phule did watch us instead of fighting by our side (which he clearly showed himself capable of doing). But, it's unlikely he’s going to show up as a foe in the future, and it would be a surprise if that were the case. It’s more likely that Phule simply disappeared somewhere, and the player may never know what happened to him.

The State of Phule’s Mind

Before ending this section, it’s critical to talk about Phule in terms of his light and dark side. While in the game, he is described as eccentric or insane, it’s clear that Phule is mentally ill by our standards. And although it’s hard to judge him by human standards, due to the fact that he's a Clockwork, since Clockworks have shown their ability to showcase complex emotions, they can exhibit mental illnesses.

In Phule’s case, he likely has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), but here are some important things to understand: you cannot be born with DID, an alter is not necessarily a different personality, and the portrayal of Phule is not wholly accurate. Again, Phule isn’t a human, though his backstory does somewhat align with the development of this disorder.

DID usually occurs in children who have undergone immense stress and trauma for long periods of time, and as a result, were not able to develop a unified sense of identity due to the weight of their memories. Due to this, they develop a system of alters in order to cope with day-to-day life. Similarly, Phule was created to be perfect by a narcissistic father who could never admit to being wrong, and as a result, his mind was ‘off', and he was written as 'insane'.

Phule also has two distinct alters: his light side (Comedy) and his dark side (Tragedy). Comedy is whimsical, friendly, and mischievous and may very well serve as the host, as he seems to front the most, talk the most, and has the most lines out of any of the events. While Tragedy may serve as either a protector, seeing himself as a beacon of logic and strength doing what needs to be done; or a prosecutor, who may have protective goals in an attempt to keep the system from reliving the trauma and abuse they’ve faced, but tend to be harmful and have a distorted view of reality.

In any case, understanding the two sides of Phule is essential to understanding him as a character. He is someone who’s been persecuted due to both his appearance and his mind, which he could not control, and it clearly has had an effect on him.

IV. Phule & Kane’s Court

In analyzing who Phule is as a character, it's just as important to ask why he is the way he is. It’s easy to see how he developed, but, due in part to a lack of backstory, the question of why is somewhat hazy. The player is given a few details in the form of implications about Phule, but also information that was info dumped that leaves behind more questions than answers.

What Was Phule’s Role In The Court

Cannonly, nobody really knows Phule’s role in the court. As said by the Rouge’s Gallery:

“He is neither general nor admiral, though he has captained Armada fleets and armies. He is no spymaster, yet he has performed espionage and been involved in the deepest of Bishop’s intrigues. He is the ultimate wild card, appearing in the most unlikely of places from the Great Halls of the Palaces of the Spiral to the humble backwaters of Skull Island” (KI).

As a character with multiple roles, Phule proves himself to be a valuable player and a jack of all trades. Due to this, one can assume that he would have been more sociable than the rest of the court, or at the very least close to it, due to the fact that it’s established that his allegiances are often fleeting. Though, it can be speculated that his strongest relationship may have been with either Bishop, seeing as he worked for him, or Deacon since both of them seemed to be the most active of Kane’s court.

In relation to the historical context within Pirate101, I could also possibly see Phule being a sort of voice of reason for members of Kane’s court — at least those who would listen. We know what Phule thinks of Kane, but have never actually seen Kane interact with Phule on screen, so the details are murky here. On top of speaking with Kane’s court, it’s possible that Phule entertained and advised King Casimir, in addition to Kane.

Aside from military duties, with how festive Phule is — in concept at least — he may have either planned out various events in Valencia, or at the very least been apart of them. After all, Phule is a court jester, and one of the fundamental jobs that comes with being a court jester is making other people laugh.

Phule’s Relationship With Kane

Another important part of who Phule is is his personal relationship with Kane. Kane is many things: a military genius, a diplomatic wonder, and effective in ruling with an iron fist, but he fails as a father — just as his father failed before him. Kane is a narcissist who expects everything he creates to be unquestionably perfect, which is why he looks at Phule with absolute scorn.

Phule is what he would, likely, consider a worthless child. He wasn’t born right in his eyes, yet Kane continues to use and depend on Phule for his missions. It’s likely that Kane wanted to keep Phule in place, as he did with his other court members, but Phule is the only elite who’s not based on a chess piece.

Phule is a wild card who knew he wouldn’t live up to Kane’s expectations, and he decided to save himself. And although this choice may seem selfish, it’s important to remember that many victims tend to stick around for various reasons — sometimes they aren’t mentally capable or able to leave. We, the player, have seen Phule express himself, and learn kindness. And although he may have hurt people in the past, he was willing to make up for it.

He decided to leave behind a father that never loved him, and never would love him or see him as an equal. He had every right to be scornful and bitter, maybe even take after Kane, but he broke free from the cycle and decided to help the Player because he maybe, genuinely, fell in love with the world that never loved him and all its flaws. That is the beauty of Phule’s character. He’s neither here, nor there, but he’s just as human as you or I — ignoring all the cogs, of course.

V. Conclusion

In terms of character design, personality, and backstory speculation, Phule is a great character despite the little screen time he got. He may be one of the strongest members of Kane’s court, is definitely one of the more mysterious ones, and is an interesting, tormented soul. Whether or not he’s friend or foe, Phule illuminates the environment around him.

Works Cited

CA’ MACANA. “The Arlecchino Mask: a Motley History.” The Best Venetian Carnival Masks in Venice: Ca' Macana, www.camacana.com/en-UK/the-arlecchino-mask.php.

Commedia Dell'Arte. “ARLECCHINO.” Mayhem, Madness, Masks and Mimes - Commedia Dell'Arte, mayhemmadnessmasksandmimes-commediadellarte.weebly.com/arlecchino.html#:~:text=Arlecchino's%20costume%20and%20mask%20are,Arte'%20Character%20Analysis%22).

“Drama Masks: Thalia + Melpomene.” The Greek Designers, 6 Nov. 2018, thegreekdesigners.com/2016/03/07/drama-masks-thalia-melpomene/.

“Jester (Jolly or Joker).” Masquerade Masks & Venetian Masks Company, www.italymask.co.nz/shop/Decorative+Masks/Jester+JollyJoker%3Fcat=01108.html#:~:text=The%20Joker%20or%20Jolly%20Venetian,known%20for%20their%20incessant%20laughter.

KingsIsle, director. Pirate101 Rogue's Gallery: Phule. YouTube, YouTube, 3 June 2015, www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VdwBDdeMYo&list=WL&index=69&ab_channel=KingsIsleEntertainment.

“Pantalone Mask.” Kartaruga, 7 Aug. 2017, kartaruga.com/mask/pantalone-the-magnificent/.

“Pantalone Masks.” THE VENETIAN MASKS, 21 Jan. 2021, www.thevenetianmasks.com/pantalone-masks/.

Staff, OnStage Blog. “The Origins of the Comedy and Tragedy Masks of Theatre.” OnStage Blog, OnStage Blog, 21 June 2020, www.onstageblog.com/editorials/comedy-and-tragedy-masks-of-theatre.

TodayIFoundOut, director. What Was It Actually Like to Be a Court Jester in Medieval Times? YouTube, YouTube, 31 Oct. 2019, www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkLZYEIslWM&ab_channel=TodayIFoundOut.

“Welcome to the Pirate101 Wiki.” Pirate101 Wiki :: The Largest and Most Accurate Pirate101 Wiki :: Featuring Guides, Companions, Quests, Pets, Bosses, Creatures, NPCs and Much More!, www.pirate101central.com/wiki/Pirate101_Wiki.

“What Life Was Really Like As A Medieval Jester.” YouTube, YouTube, 3 Apr. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7F5ioUQLJc&ab_channel=WeirdHistory.

“What Was Life like for a Court Jester?” HistoryExtra, 26 Nov. 2020, www.historyextra.com/period/medieval/what-was-life-like-for-a-court-jester/.

www.delpiano.com, Roberto Delpiano -. “PANTALONE.” Pantalone | Pantalon De' Bisognosi | Grevembroch Watercolor | Traditional Mask of Venice Carnival, www.delpiano.com/carnival/html/pantalone.html.

#pirate101 #p101 fandom #p101 #Phule #writing #essay #character analysis #character study #Yes I wrote an academic essay on a clown #no i'm not okay thanks for asking #10/10 would do it again tho #Maybe I'll make it into a series since it'd feel wrong not to do the entire court

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yayeetsonny · 4 years

Text

Family~Krashlyn x Baby Reader

Prompt: Baby r is super short (shorter than Crystal lol), she is super close with Ali and Ash, they are like parents to her since her home life isn't great and her actual parents suck ass. She’s bummed about a father daughter dance and tries to hide it but Ash and Ali get her to spill. Ash saves the day

Requested By: Anonymous

TW: Mentions of Neglect, verbal and emotional abuse and Anxiety. Brief depictions Verbal/emotional and brief physical abuse.

Y/N PRO//

I have always been jealous of kids whose parents are actually decent human beings. Jealous of those who have a good relationship with their parents and their mom and dad are actually nice to them and care about them. My parents are all about themselves, they never make time for me and I’m pretty sure if they had it their way they would have abandon me years ago. The only reason they haven’t is because of their precious “Image” They are some pretty powerful people in the business world and they don’t want their reputations ruined by any bad publicity. They see me as secondary to their company, and they are always leaving me alone in the house for long stretches of time. On the off chance they are home they make a point to tell me how pathetic I am and how I’m useless or worth nothing. They admonish me for my grades in school even when I’m doing really well and they call my social anxiety “ridiculous” and tell me I need to “get over it.”

My life isn’t all bad though. I have made a pretty good name for myself, I’m a pro soccer player in the NWSL for the Orlando Pride and I play on the National team. Even at the tender age of 15, I have been afforded all these amazing opportunities and I have several college scholarships waiting for me. It’s amazing, and I have some of the best people in the world supporting me and my dreams. My Pride teammates of course and my national teammates as well, they’ve all be my anchors through everything but 2 people have always stood out above the rest. My teammates and ‘moms’ Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris. They are my biggest role models and the parents I’ve always wanted. I would not be where I am without them. I don’t speak very much around anyone but them but everyone else understands and doesn’t push me to talk.

Speaking of those two I’m currently smooshed in a Krashlyn sandwich as I make my way onto the field for Pride practice.

“Hey shorty! Good to see you!” Ash said

“Hey baby girl, How was school?” Ali asked

“Hey guys, good to see you too. School was okay.” I said once they pulled away

“Just okay? Why’s that?”

They looked at me concerned. They both knew about my social anxiety and how sometimes school was really hard for me. I only shrugged in return.

“Come on Y/N, what is it?”

They got me to move over to a bench and sit in between them.

I once again only shrugged.

“Please tell us?”

I let out a tired sigh but knew I could trust them with anything.

“ My anxiety was getting in the way of a lot today.” I said, suddenly finding my shoes very interesting.

“Hey…”

Ali put her finger under my chin and gently lifted my head so we’d make eye contact.

“What have we talked about when it comes to your anxiety?”

“That it doesn’t define me and that it’s okay if I have hard days sometimes.” I mumbled

“And what else?” Ashlyn chimed in

“And that I can always talk to you guys about it and that I don’t need to be ashamed of it. I know, I just don’t want you guys to think I’m weak or-”

“Hey, no. Don’t do that to yourself.”

“We know not everyday is going to be happy, full of sunshine and rainbows. That doesn’t make you any less strong and it most certainly doesn’t make you weak.”

“Thanks guys. I needed that reminder.” I said wiping the tear that had started to fall.

“We’ll always be here to let you know just how great you are.” Ashlyn smiled softly at me

“You ready to practice or do you need a minute?”

“I’m ready.”

I stood up, shook out any extra nerves and Ali leaned down to kiss me on the head.

“You know, kid… you’re really short.” She laughed

“I know.” I giggled

“I’m pretty sure you’re shorter than Crystal.” Ashlyn chuckled

“No way!”

“Yeah I think so! She’s what… 5’0 feet even? How tall are you?”

“4’9 and 1/2” I mumbled

“Oh man! You are short.”

“It’s not funny!”

I pouted at them as they continued to laugh at me but after a moment I smiled and joined in.

“Okay, okay. Time to get to work kids.” Ali said

“Yes mom” Ash and I said

We made our way to the center of the field where the rest of our teammates were. Alex Morgan and Carson Pickett among them.

“Hey, Krashlyn! Mini Krashlyn!” Carson Pickett said, excitedly running up and giving us all a hug.

“Hi.” I said

“Hey guys! Hey mini K, how you been?” Alex asked coming up and also giving us hugs.

The Pride and national team all called me “Mini Krashlyn” or “Mini K” because they know how close I am with Ash and Ali and they consider us “America’s cutest family.” It’s a little silly but mostly really cute.

I waved and gave her a thumbs up.

She smiled at me softly in return

We were interrupted by coach telling us to get to work.

“Alright ladies! Let’s go, you know the drill. Warm up and then get on the line!”

I rolled my eyes at the thought of doing suicides or sprints first but did as told. After we warmed up I got on the line in between Alex and Ali. Ashlyn was on Alex’s other side and our other teammates filled the rest of the line.

“You ready, kid?” Alex asked

I nodded and smiled in return.

Coach Skinner blew his whistle and we were off. We started out with sprints and then moved to suicides. By the end everyone was panting and trying to catch their breath. Well everyone except for Marta, she looked barley winded.

I just shook my head at her.

She shrugged in return, smirking at me. After a quick water break we moved onto drills. We went through, passing, defending and shooting drills and then a scrimmage before coach called it a day. We said good bye to our teammates before Ash and Ali gave me a ride home.

“You did good today, kid.”

“Thanks.”

The ride to my house was in relatively comfortable silence with just the radio softly playing in the background but no one seemed to mind. Once they pulled up and stopped at the curb I got out and grabbed my stuff from the back.

“Bye guys. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride.”

“Y/N, wait.” Ash stopped me before I could go any further

“Are you sure, you don’t wanna just spend the night at our place?”

I had told them that my parents were out of town and they knew what that meant. They tried to let me handle things how I saw fit but since I was only 15 they worried about me being alone for too long and sometimes convinced me to stay with them for a few days.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks for the offer though. My parents should be home tonight.”

“Are you sure? They don’t seem to commit to being home on time and we-”

“Ash I’m good. I promise. See you tomorrow.” I cut her off

I could tell they were conflicted about leaving me here but I gave them the best reassuring smile I could and they let it go.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N. We love you.”

“I love you guys too.”

I closed the car door, they waited for me to unlock my door before driving off. When I got inside I dropped my bag on the floor and sunk down next to it. My parents were actually coming home today and I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing them.

I knew I needed to clean the house a little bit, so after sitting for a while longer I got up and got to cleaning. After a couple hours everything seemed to be the way they liked it, spotless. So I deemed it done and went to put away the supplies. As I was doing that I heard the front door open and rushed to finish putting everything away. I then made sure I looked “presentable” and made my way to the front of the house.

“Hi, mom. Hi dad. How was your trip?” I said as I came face to face with them for the first time in 2 weeks.

“Is the house clean?” My father asked completely ignoring what I said

“Yes sir.”

“It better be.”

My mom did little to even acknowledge my presence, only going as far to hand me her luggage and point upstairs. She then followed my father as he inspected my cleaning job. I rolled my eyes but brought her bag up anyways. I would have taken my dad’s too but he hates when I touch his stuff.

“Y/N M/N L/N!” dad yelled from wherever there were in the house. Oh man, he sounds really mad.

I went downstairs, and after searching for a minute I found them in the guest room.

“Yes sir?”

“What is this?” He asked sharply, showing me his hand that had a white glove with dust on it.

“Dust, sir.”

“And why is there dust in this room?” His voice was dangerously low.

“I-I’m sorry sir, I did the best that I could.”

“Yeah, well your best isn’t good enough! You worthless waste of space. Clean the whole house again!”

“The whole house? But sir it’s just a little dust, I can-”

I didn’t get to finish because I felt a stinging sensation in my cheek and only after did I realize he had slapped me. I was dumbfounded, he had never done that before, he’d only ever yell at me and break the occasional vase but I never thought he’d actually hit me.

“Don’t ever talk to me like that again.” He growled

I didn’t realize that I started crying.

“Stop crying before I give you something to really cry about.”

I stood there, stunned. I knew my parents were awful but I never thought either of them would put their hands on me. I wasn’t sure what to do, I wanted to call Ash and Ali but decided against it because I knew that they would most likely want to kill my father for this. I really wish my parents loved me.

I did what my father said and cleaned the whole house again but this time I paid extra attention to the guest room and when it was finished I decided to go to bed. I could have eaten dinner but I was too exhausted to even try.

The next day…

At school I stayed more to myself than usual and made no real effort to talk to anyone. I was just walking to my next class when a very cheery girl, who looked to be a senior came up to me and in a cheery voice said

“Hey! The father daughter dance is next week on Friday night, don’t miss out!”

She then handed me a flyer and all but, skipped away. I stood there for a moment wondering how someone could be so… happy, then I looked at the flyer and it read

“Spring Father-Daughter Dance! Next Friday, the 18th at 7! Don’t miss it!”

I just scoffed at the idea of attending it with my dad, there was no way he would take me or even consider it. I just crumpled up the flyer and shoved it in my bag. Stupid dance, stupid flyer.

I carried on with the rest of my day continuing to keep to myself. As much as I hated to admit it; I really wanted to go to the dance. I always wondered what a father-daughter dance was like and wish more than anything my dad actually carried enough to go. I knew that would never happen so I just continued to sulk about it until the school day was over.

When I got home I wasn’t surprised to find that my parents were gone, again and they wouldn’t be back for awhile. So I decided to call Ashlyn and Ali. Ali picked up on the first ring.

“Y/N?”

“Hi Ali, um- well, m-my parents left and they won’t be back for a-awhile and I was wondering if I could stay with you guys? I know we normally just have dinner together on Tuesdays but I just thought that w-we could-”

“Y/N! It’s okay, yes of course you can stay with us. We’ll be there in 15 minutes.” She said cutting off my rambling.

“Okay, thank you.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Of course Y/N. See you soon.”

“See you.”

After we hung up I went to go pack a bag and I couldn’t help but have a bounce in my step as I did. The 15 minutes flew by and before I knew it I was meeting Ash and Ali out front and they were putting my bag in the car.

“You, okay?” Ashlyn asked coming around and giving me a hug

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“How was school?” Ali asked as I got in the car.”

At the mention of school I went silent. I had forgotten about the sour mood it had put me in but now I remembered why and became sad all over again.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked you how school was?” Ali turned off the car and turned around in her seat.

“Oh, it was fine.” I said trying not to look at either of them.

“Are you sure? You seem upset about it.” Ash said

“Yeah I’m sure. Nothing upsetting me today!” I said hoping they would believe me.

Ashlyn PRO//

Ali and I shared a worried glance as we watched Y/N avoid our eyes. We knew something was bothering her but didn’t want to push, so we just let it go and see if she would tell us on her own. The drive back to our house was quiet and not in a good way. I really hoped Y/N would open up to us soon, I hated when things got awkward between her, Ali and I.

When we got back to the house Y/N got out, without a word, got her stuff and headed to the garage, waiting for us to open it to let her in. After Ali and I once again shared a worried glance we opened it so she could go in and she did, presumably disappearing to the guest room.

“Do you have any Idea what could be bothering her?”

“Not a clue.”

“Do you think her anxiety is acting up?”

“No… Well maybe but we just talked about that yesterday. She knows she doesn’t have to hide that from us.”

“Hmm… I’m sure she’ll tell us when she’s ready.”

We talked for a few more minutes before heading inside. We decided to leave Y/N be and get started on dinner. After we were done we called her into the dinning room and we sat down to eat. We knew school was possibly a sensitive topic but since she said it was “fine” we decided to ask about her day anyway.

“So… learn anything new in school?”

“W-we learned about fossils.” She mumbled

“That’s cool! Anything exciting happen?”

She once again looked uncomfortable and I started to think this may have been a bad idea.

“N-nope. Nothing.”

“Y/N are you sure you’re okay?” I asked

“Ash…” Ali said, putting her hand on my arm.

“What? I just want make sure she’s okay.”

“I’m fine. School was fine.”

“Why do you seem so bothered every time we ask about it then?”

“I don’t know.”

She looked down at her shoes and I knew her facade was starting to waver. I didn’t want to push but I was starting to become really concerned.

“Hey… What is it?”

“It’s no big deal.”

“Anything bothering you is a big deal.”

“I’m fine.” She said but her voice cracked, giving away how she really felt

“We all know that’s not true. Y/N, please talk to us. It’s okay.”

“There’s a father-daughter dance next Friday.” She said quietly

“Oh, babe. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because it’s stupid. Not like I have a dad to go with anyways.” She said angrily

“Hey, no… It’s not stupid, not if it was bothering you and you want to go. Do you?”

“Yeah but it doesn’t matter. My dad would never willingly go.”

“I’m sorry he treats you so poorly it’s not fair.” I paused for a moment before coming up with an idea. I decided to keep it a secret for now and tell Ali later when Y/N goes to bed.

“It is what it is.” She mumbled

“Well, what if we had a movie night to cheer you up?” I said

“Thanks guys, but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. May I be excused?”

“Sure, kiddo.”

We smiled sympathetically at her as she made her way to the guest room. As soon as the door shut I turned to Ali with a big grin on my face.

“What?”

“I have an idea, but we have to keep it a secret from Y/N.”

“Okay? What is it?”

“We hold our own dance right here. On the same night as the father daughter one!”

“Ash, that’s brilliant!”

“i know, but shhh, we can’t let her know.”

“When did she say it was?”

“Next Friday.”

“Perfect. I have some calls to make.”

After talked more about the plan, we agreed to call all of our teammates, from both the Pride and the national team. I started with Alex since she was on both teams.

“Hey Al?”

“Hi Ash, what’s up?”

“Well, I’m planning a dance for Y/N. With Ali’s help of course. It’s next week on Friday night. She’s bummed about the father-daughter dance at school and I thought we could throw a better one to cheer her up.”

“Ash that’s so thoughtful. Do you need help with decorations and that kind of stuff?”

“That would be great, yeah.”

“I’m on it and I’ll text everyone and tell them not to spill the beans.”

“Thanks Al.”

“Anytime. Ahhh, she’s gonna love it.” She squealed

“I hope so. Bye Alex.” I chuckled

“Bye Ash.”

The plan was in motion and I couldn’t be more excited. We just had to keep it a secret for a week. That couldn’t be that hard.

It was very hard.

We had contacted everyone from both teams and the majority of them said they could make it, some were flying in a few days early, to come visit us and to say Y/N was confused and suspicious was an understatement. She had almost caught me talking about it on the phone several times but I convinced her it was something else. But when players started showing up she grew even more suspicious.

Hey Y/N, good to see ya!” Tobin said as she and Christen made their way into our house.

“Hi?”

“You not happy to see us?” She teased

“No, I am b-but Ash said no one was coming to visit.” she said turning to me, narrowing her eyes.

“Well we decided to surprise you, surprise!” Chris said

“So... You, Tobin, kelley, Emily, Lindsey, and Alyssa all decided to surprise me?”

“Yes?”

“Hmmm. Well thanks for coming. I’ve missed you guys.”

“We missed you too!”

The next few days flew by and by Friday everything was set to be perfect. Ali took Y/N out for the day so we could set everything up. Our Orlando Pride teammates, along with the national teammates who had flown in early were helping. Everyone else would be landing in a couple hours.

“Ash where should we hang this banner?” Christen asked, holding up the “mommy-daughter dance” banner we made.

“Right over there, above the fountain.” I said.

We were planning to have it in the backyard so everyone could fit into the space. We compiled a playlist of songs that Y/N loved along with a few that were about a mother and daughter so that we could have to special dance they had at the father-daughter dances. We also strung up some twinkly lights and made sure the yard would be as lit up as possible. While this was mostly my idea Ali and the others really helped me put everything together and I was grateful for all their help.

Ali and I agreed that I would dance with Y/N first and then she would.

“Ash, When are the others supposed to get here?”

“By 5:00. Why?”

“Ali says Y/N wants to come home now.” Alex said

“Shit. What time is it?”

“4:15.”

“Okay, that’s not too bad. But how are we gonna hide all of this?” I gestured to all the decorations and food that was set up.

“I have no idea.”

“Oooo I know!” Tobin said

“What do you got, T?”

“I’ll just convince her to play Mario Cart with me, distract her from looking at the yard, and give you, Ali and everyone else enough time to get ready.”

“That’s perfect! But what about you?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I have a perfect outfit already lined up and it’ll only take me 5 minutes to change.”

“Jeans and a T-shirt huh?”

“Yeah...”

Alex and I chuckled. Of course, classic Tobin.

Time continued to fly by and before I knew it, Y/N and Ali were home and Tobin whisked her away to play video games.

“Wow Ash, this is amazing.” Ali marveled at our handy work.

“Thanks babe, you think she’ll like it?”

“She’ll love it.” She kissed me gently.

5:00 o’clock came around and everyone else started to arrive. Tobin did a good job of keeping Y/N away from the commotion and I told everyone to come in through the side gate.

“You did good, Harris” Megan said, patting me on the back.

“Thanks, Pinoe.”

Everyone started to get ready, taking turns in the bathroom or our room. Ali and I the last to get ready. When I was sure everyone was good, and everything was set I texted Tobin letting her know it was go time.

“Okay everyone! Thank you for coming! Y/N will be out here any minute so get ready to surprise her.”

Everyone left through the side gate to wait until I gave them the signal to come in and I stood right in the middle of the yard, waiting for Tobin to bring out Y/N. I heard the door to the yard open and adjusted my bow tie when I noticed it was crooked.

“Okay kid, don’t peek yet okay?” I heard Tobin say.

“Tobyyy... where are we going?”

“Just one second... Okay open!”

When she did, the look on Y/N’s face was one that I would never forget. Her eyes sparkled as took everything in and when she saw me standing there, she started to tear up. She really started to cry when she saw the banner we made.

“Mommy-daughter dance. Ash... You did this for me?”

“Of course kiddo. I wanted you to have a special night tonight, even if it meant you didn’t go to the dance at your school.”

“This is so much better, thank you!”

She ran to me and jumped in my arms. I caught her with ease and spun her around, peppering her face with kisses as she giggled.

“Anything for you baby girl.”

“Where’s Ali?”

“She is here, that’s actually the other part of the suprise. Ali! Guys!” I called out to them.

Everyone walked through the gate, Y/N gasping as they did.

“Oh my god. Guys?! What are you all doing here?”

“Well... we know this is a mommy-daughter dance but we wanted to be here for your special night.”

“Thank you!”

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Alex said softly

Y/N PRO//

I was overflowing with emotions, I had never felt so loved in my life. I hugged everyone and thanked them for coming before finally getting to Ali. She smiled at me with tears in her eyes and opened her arms, which I quickly ran into.

Ali... how can I thank you?”

“Save a dance for me?” She giggled

“Of course.”

“As much as I would love to chat with you, I think someone is waiting for you on the dance floor.” She said pointing at Ash. I looked back at her hesitant to leave.

“I don’t mind at all. Go have fun, we’ll dance soon.”

“Thank you mama, I love you.” I said before kissing her on the cheek and running off to dance with Ashlyn. That was the first time I had ever called her mama but I thought it was a fitting title and her and Ash are the parents I’ve always wanted

I joined Ash on the dance floor and she signaled to someone to change the song to a slow one. She smiled down at me as she took my hands in hers. Our height difference made it so I was definitely going to be stepping on her toes but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you for all of this, mommy. I was so bummed about missing the other dance but I couldn’t be happier.” I said softly. I saw suprise cross her face at the new name I had given her but she embraced it without hesitation.

“I’m so glad, little one. Your mama and I love you so much. We always will.”

“I love you both more than I’ll ever be able to explain. You guys are the parents I’ve always wanted and the family I’ve always needed.” I said getting emotional.

“Family. Always.”

Sorry for any mistakes - N

#uswnt imagines #uswnt #krashlyn #krashlyn x reader #ali krieger #ashlyn harris #alex morgan #christen press #tobin heath #megan rapinoe #carson pickett #orlando pride

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Green Eggs and Ham: Here (Patreon Review for Emma Ficci)

Hello all you happy people! And I have my first fully paid for comission and patreon review all in one! Yes my good friend Emma became a patreon and you can too, go to patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even one buck a month helps and 5 a month nets you a review of whatever of your choice a month. An episode of any tv show I have acess to. It feels good to have more than one person paying my salary, though I sitll want to thank Kev, my other patreon for helping with that.

So with that all in order, let’s talk about this thoroughly weird, thoroughly wonderful show from a couple years back. Green Eggs and Ham is modern adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book..... and I bet those of you who haven’t heard of this series before or it’s reputation just had your bowls clinch a bit. Yeah while I haven’t seen illumination’s takes on the maestro of children’s books, I haven’t heard the best things and the trailers and odd and counter productive marketing tie ins for the Lorax have made me want to stay 30 feet away from it at all times. Seriously you get certified Legend Danny DeVito.. and you waste him on “Dat’s a woman” a joke that I don’t have time to unpack all the ways it sucks. My point is Seuss really hasn’t had the best time with adaptations latey. But leave it to Warner Animation and Netflix to pull out a great one. Yeah I wasn’t too excited about a tv adaptation of one book at first due to all this and even a celebrity cast wasn’t a good sign. They roped Danny DeVito into the Lorax. So even with a whopper cast containing Michael Douglas, Diane Keaton, my boy Adam Divine, Ilana Glazer, Kegan Michael Key, Jeffery Wright, Eddie Izard and JIllian Bell.. I wasn’t convinced. But word of mouth was really good, and the animation looked downright gorgeous, perfectly mimicking suess’ work and feeling like an unabashed love letter.

So I did what I tend to do.. and sat on it for several years because I simply forgot to watch it till my friend comissioned it and here we are. And off the bat.. the reputation.. is not remotely overblown. This is easily the best Dr. Seuss adaptation i’ve seen in some time taking the best of his ideas and whimsy, with what little behind the scenes stuff I could get saying they specifically took art design from his art of book, with a modern and intresting story behind it and an all star cast that this time around are used well instead of just being there for Name Recogntion. Not only that but it takes inspriation form, of all things, Planes Trains and Automobiles, but does so well so far, getting the oddcouple dynamic down perfectly.

So join me under the cut as I cut this bit of green eggs and ham into bite sized pieces for you all and go into why it’s so delecitable.

This episode’s mostly broken up into bits to introduce all the main players, so as I tend to do when there’s multiple plots, I will be covering each one at a time.

Guy and Sam: The Failed Inventor and the Animal Thief

So our story begins with.. a ninja breaking into a zoo to steal the rare Chikaraffe.

Neither was the narrator, played by Key.. and the narrator naturally for a work like this delightfully interacts with things and is one of the best parts of the whole episode. But this already shows how well the series updates things. There’s one or two things like Ninja Sam or a family making ducklips during a photo, there’s even a fairly obvious trump stand in we’ll get to.. but none of it’s SO overdone it takes you out of things or dates the projects. The tech is kept to about the 70′s or 80′s with cameras still used instead of camera phones, crt tv’s, and what have you, and most inventions seens are susian. It feels wholly in line with his books while still nudging it into our current decade here and there. In other words.. how you SHOULD do it: add in a few things here or there but no overt pop culture refrences and at most a take that at something Seuss would gladly take aim at.

So we meet our other hero the next day, Guy-Am-I. Guy is the show’s version of the nameless harassment victim from the books, with a bit of a darker fur and hat, likely to help better distingish him from sam as well as sell him being older than his co-star. It’s a good change, and helps sell Guy as what he is.. a grumpy middle aged man who keeps failling in life as demonstrated by his way to the inventions: he falls in a puddle, signs no on a pettition because he’s in a hurry, reminds me of man in a hurry from hatchefield but I couldn’t find a good image of him saying that in time and takes a picture of the family “Say runing my life” “ruining your life!”. We later see after some of the following scenes Sam do the same.. but he hops over the puddle then dives ino for fun, signs an entire page of the pettition, and takes tons of pictures. It’s a nice establishing scene for both.

Guy is presenting his invention for Snerzco, your standard megacorp given a delightful Seuss twist with LITERAL pencil pushers and beancounters, to present his invention, with other inventors presenting, witht he hopes of presenting to Snerzz himself, having such delightfully bonkers and seussian inventions as a reverse umbrella (it rains on you) and an automatic fingercrosser. It’s touches like this that really tell me the series really loves Dr. Seuss.

Sadly things don’t go well for guy as he’s hoping his invention dosen’t explode, his invention being a backpack made of hands to help people fly. Most people are imprestted apart from Michelle a bean counter who.. randomly snarks she wouldn’t let her daughter fly on it.

Yeah it’s not a great introduction for one of your major characters to have her randomly mock something that hadn’t exploded yet, and to for no reason bring up what a paranoid and unfun parent she is. We’ll get to her more in a bit. But yes it does explode and Guy’s dreams are ruined.

And this whole picture.. shows who guy is. He’s someone whose kept trying agian, and again and again only for it not to work, and to get laughed at by the public and spat on by god themslef. It’s easy to see WHY he’s such a bitter curmudgeon: life hates him, so why shouldn’t he hate it back. That’s a self defeating prophecy of course but this is episode one and tha’ts probably the point of the series: to explore this. That being said I could see this coming from a mile away and felt it to be the most unupsired bit of the episode.

Guy enters a diner to get some Oatmush “The Sadmans Special” after the bus leaves before he can get to it because again, God hates him personally. No the sadman’s special is a famous bowl from KFC. I should know as a professional sadman. Regardless Guy is miserable.. and in enters sam, whose fascenated their “Breifcase Buddies” because thier briefcases match.. and unlike the above I like how they call attention to them being identical. We know wha’ts going to happen there but the lampshading helps it go down easier and makes us wonder if they will swap. Sam is a regular, being friends with Donna the waitress and ordering his usual green eggs and ham.

So we get the expected bit: Sam asks Guy to try them, he says no, but the show makes a good choice. Instead of just.. stalking guy for the next 11 episodes to get him to try it.. he simply asks if he’s actually tried it, Guy says no and makes a great poop joke, and Sam leaves it. He apparently asks once an episode, but it’s made more into a character thing; Guy refuses because he hates to try new things outside of his inventing and that’s hit a wall. It’s also a nice suprise that Devine and Douglas just play perfectly off one another. The two are from vastly diffrent generations and backgrounds acting wise, but they just work perfectly together and it’s what makes their interactions work.

Sam does leave it and the other inventors having ALL got the golden ticket, arrive and Sam treats them.. only to notice Guy’s paper and the fact guy failed, and asks donna politely to get guy his mush as he ordered first. It’s good setup for Sam. We saw him be nice and free and what not, but we also see that while he can be insietive (He asked guy what broken dream he had earlier in the scene) he does geniunely care and it isn’t just surface level. He loves people and helping them and getting to know them.

Of course while Guy is greatful, showing that beneath his own exterior he’s not a bad guy just one made miserable by life, he’s not going to be best friends or anything.. that’s a lot to ask they just met and takes his case after gulping down his oatmush.

That night Sam prepares to leave, having given Donna his adress.. multiple times. in the hopes someone comes over and hangs out. Can relate even if i’d never go that far. He does however reveal himself as the ninja and prepare to take the chikaraffe with him for whatever reason.

Guy goes to his hotel room to sulk, not helped by the other inventors partying outside, and full of misery and self loathing throws his suitcase in the fire.. until it makes a noise. He quickly pulls it out to find the Chickaraffe. Will he surivive? I mean probably. We have 12 episodes left. And a full second season. God this is going to take a few years.. regardless, let’s move onto the subplots.

MIchellee and E.B.

We meet Michelle’s daughter EB who just wants to live but her mom dosen’t let her have toys or shenaniagnas.. and comes off untetionally as really abusive. She’s SUPPOSED to be overprotective, but saying “I detect a hint of whimsy.. i’ll allow it” really just paints you as an overcontrolling psycho. Their headed on a trip and while EB wants to catch the chickaraffe for herself dosen’t have the time and her mom gives her a magnetic friendship bracelet.. that shackes her to her. Just... yeah Michelle has made me hate her in one episode and she’s played by Diane Keaton. How do you do that? Hopefully she’ll get better but hearing about these two characters was part of the reason I procastinated so long. The other is my brain being kind of a forgetful swamp.

Snerz: We meet Snerz himself who has someone bringing him the chickaraffe. Snerz is a cold, mean man with trump hair.. that in this case is a literal being he’s forcing to be his hair, has everything gold plated and keeps animals in a wall forcing them to stand on the other side and put their heads through like he mounted them because he’s a sociopath. And this is the refrence I meant. Snerz has many comparisons to trump, the hair, the gold platings, but it dosen’t really date the thing as Trump has been around since long before this and will sadly probably be around till his inetivitible jail sentence. But it’s not so overt or over the top that it takes you out of it it works. Okay one more.

BAD GUYS:

Two mysterious agents, one old and one on her first mission, go to the zoo and interogate the guy running it holding him over a slapping turtle exhbit. Their after the chickaraffe and depart.. with the yougner agent accidently dropping him. Whoops. At least he gets to get hit into space by a turtle. Some of us never will “Sigh”

Final Thoughts:

This was an excellent first episode. It fleshes out the characters well, sets up the story without feeling too slow, and the show strkes the right ballance of being it’s own thing while still feeling Seuss. It’s a wubusoully wonderful good time and I recommend checking it out. I look forward to the rest of the series over the next year.

Next on this blog: Sleepover time as Shadow into Light, my Lena Saberwing retrospective resumes.

#green eggs and ham #sam-i-am #guy-am-i #michelle #e.b.#snertz #dr seuss #netflix

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chattingwiththelightkeeper · 1 year

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The Darwin Awards are something that is always good for a laugh and if you do not know what these ‘awards’ are for, well simply they are given to individuals who acted so stupidly that it resulted in their death. The award-winning incidents may be real or the fiction of human minds but the stories at least are always worth a laugh. Here in the lifestyle, there are activities, play, and actions that can be highly erotic, sensual, and orgasmic but if the people involved do not know

what they are doing, it can result in serious, permanent harm and death.

This might be a bit of a Debbie Downer topic but we need to talk about what happens if something goes wrong. Yes, Master Chokezilla, it was an accident and you never meant to hurt, Natalie Newbie. So let’s speculate for a minute, that Chokezilla just injured Ms. Newbie during play but being the responsible person he is, he called emergency services or took her to a hospital/clinic for care. Very commendable but he has opened up a huge new can of worms. First, even though it was consensual, it looks like domestic violence and to Dr. Valerie Vanilla, ER doctor extraordinaire, it is abuse. In most places, Dr. Vanilla will be required to call law enforcement and in more and more places, it is no longer up to Natalie if Chokezilla will be charged with a crime but law enforcement. When that is coupled with the ‘evidence’ Dr. Vanilla collected treating Ms. Newbie, there is a good chance ‘Zilla’ will be guilty of assault/domestic violence or if he is lucky just have legal bills from here to eternity. More than likely he gets a taxpayer-paid vacation prison, followed by no chance of having a career. Even places that require asking “would you like fries with that” stay away from those charged/convicted of domestic violence. Maybe if Zilla is an NFL player, he will just get a couple of weeks' vacation and be back to ‘work’ but that discussion is for another day. If things went very wrong, and Ms. Newbie tragically passes, consensual or not Master Chokezilla is going to go to prison, period end of the story.

With that said, how many reading this know what R.A.C.K. or S.S.C stand for? There will be some of you who do but for those that do not, this is the shorthand for two of the most well-known theories or viewpoints on how participants in the lifestyle treat the risks they are taking. Now, this is not about which one is correct, incorrect, or better, please no debating this here. Risk Aware Consensual Kink and Safe, Sane, and Consensual are what both of these abbreviations mean. No matter which you practice, it is paramount that the risks are understood by everyone involved. No matter how safe you are in your kinky engagements, mistakes happen, things go wrong, and you HAVE to know what you are doing.

For example, a few weeks there was a conversation with a new dominant who was reaching out for advice. This gentleman and his partner were both new to the lifestyle and relying on FetLife, Reddit, and blogs for how-to advice. There is some amazing, spot-on teaching happening in all those places but there is a ton of malarkey, too. He brought up the play that he enjoys with his partner and the first thing he expressed was that he loved spanking her body from head to toe, sometimes “hitting hard”. Then without pausing, he rolls into how they are looking forward to their first experience with doing ATM play, ass to mouth, not spending all their money. When he finished, the newer d-type was asked if he knew the places on the body that you should not spank or impact. To which the reply was, “I hit her all over and it never seems to hurt her other than some bruises”. Facepalm moment, which was followed by this question, with both of you on board with ATM play, do you both understand and accept the health risks of this activity? This dominant’s reply, “Can you tell me the risks, please?” Facepalm again.

Not only are there risks to life and limb from lifestyle activities but legal risks that people need to be aware of and understand and not just like those in the above fictional misadventure of Chokezilla and Newbie. A quick read at The Marshall Project, which is a nonpartisan, not-for-profit organization that works to highlight issues in U.S. criminal justice system, shows some of the things many are unaware of when engaging in play. Such as:

Any object used for the titillation of naughty bits is illegal to make/sell in Alabama, sorry no dildos for y’all, and should you just not be able to control yourself, plan on shelling out twenty grand and enjoying up to a year of accommodations provided in a facility to be determined by the state.

How about some good old-fashioned anal sex. Not if you live in these states because sodomy is illegal in Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, and Virginia. In Louisiana, it is called a “crime against nature”. Yes, there was a court case that threw out laws that forbade it between same-sex partners, so things were changed that just made it illegal for everyone.

What do you say we just do a little bondage? If you live in New York state, having handcuffs is against the law unless you are employed as law enforcement, a PI, or rent-a-cop. Maybe time to start the Paul Blart Mall Cop Bondage Insititute? If you are not one of those you get a hefty fine and as a bonus, jail time. Now if you live in the penis-shaped state, home of the Magic Kinkdom, you can have those handcuffs, cuff, and stuff, just not in the butt, your partner/playmate however you cannot possess a key to the cuffs. Those are illegal. So just leave your partner/playmate cuffed when you are done?

In the legal world, “Consent is not a defense,” according to Susan Wright of the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom and it is important to remember this when you choose to accept the legal risks that go along with the play you wish to engage in. Not only must a person understand the physical risks but the legal risks that play may bring.

Many people approach the lifestyle because they love the fun and games, the role plays, and even the bounds of trust created by power exchange but they do not educate themselves on how to safely engage in their kinks. If you are dominant or submissive, you must know the risks, both legal and physical of the play you engage in. It sounds simple but if you are into breath play, do you know how to do rescue breaths/CPR? Did you make sure that your partner knew how to safely choke and save you should something go wrong or did you just blindly trust as they closed off your access to air? No matter your role, you must educate yourself on how to safely engage in your kinks as well as learn/accept the risks of those acts. It is not anyone else’s responsibility but your own. No blaming a blog post, online video, or alternative facts if things go haywire. This lifestyle is a serious business, so make it your business to know what you are doing, understand, and accept the risks before you move forward. The life you save truly may be your own.

If you were chatting with someone about the risks of D/S, what things would you stress?

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2023

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nekojitachan · 4 years

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OK, so it took a while, but I got something written (I should say something completed). Let’s hope this continues.

That something is the next part of the raven!Andrew soulmate story. There’s a bit of a time jump here. But hopefully you’ll catch on to what’s happening.

Here’s a link to the first part.

*******

Andrew pulled the Maserati Quattroporte Ribelle into the only gas station at the exit; they were two hours from Abby Winfield’s house, timed to get there around 7am. That meant they’d drove through the night after leaving West Virginia, creeping out of the Nest past midnight like a pair of thieves – or escapees. However, Ichirou had granted them their (limited) freedom at last, even bestowed upon them the car which rumbled to a stop at the gas pump of some no-name town.

Nathaniel slumped lower in the passenger seat and tugged the hood of his black long-sleeved t-shirt further over his face while Andrew grabbed his wallet, despite the fact that they were the only one at the gas station/mini-mart. “Do you want anything?” Andrew asked his soulmate before he stepped out of the car.

“Uhm, something to drink?”

“One super-size atomic sludge freeze slushie, coming right up, sweetpea.”

The left corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched upward as Nathaniel called him an asshole and more, the insults cut off when the car door slammed shut; that was the most reaction he’d gotten out of his boyfriend since they’d left Edgar Allan. He couldn’t blame him, really, not when one had considered everything that had happened in the last couple weeks.

They’d succeeded in taking down Riko; the mentally unstable prick had finally snapped during the pregame session when the Ravens and Foxes were supposed to face off at the division championship. Considering that his little ‘tantrum’ had led to several players on both teams being injured, it was decided that the final game would be cancelled and the championship awarded to the team with the most points accumulated during the season, which of course were the Ravens. A lot of people weren’t happy about that since they’d looked forward to the face-off between the Foxes (Kevin Day) and the Ravens (Riko), but there was little that could be done in the end.

Especially when Tetsuji announced that he was stepping down due to ‘guilt’ from failing his nephew. Oh, there was a bit of an outcry about what was going on at the Nest to make Riko ‘snap’ like that, but it was mostly overridden by the news of ‘the Master’ retiring and the search for a new coach (as if Ichirou didn’t have one lined up already).

Mostly.

All that mattered was that Riko was shuffled off to some psychiatric center (never to return, not that Andrew would put money down on the prick lasting out the rest of the year), and that Tetsuji was gone, too (he’d give him maybe another year, just so it didn’t look too suspicious, both of them dying close together). Since Ichirou had taken over after his father had passed away in the spring, he’d made it clear that he intended to rid himself of the side branch for once and all; he broke no exploitable weaknesses.

Andrew had been more than willing to exorcise those weaknesses if it meant buying Nathaniel’s freedom.

(Or at least as much freedom as he could manage at the moment.)

With their ‘king’ and ‘master’ gone, some of the Ravens had flown far, far away from their Nest. A couple had been… strongly urged to leave (kicked out). A few had complained about the stress of the program and not wanting to end up like Riko, and been let out of their contracts (a good example of PR). And then there had been Jean, Nathaniel and Andrew.

Jean took the opportunity during one of the many ‘what are your thoughts on Riko’ interviews to announce that Jeremy Knox was his soulmate, so it didn’t come as a surprise to anyone that he accepted an offer to transfer to SCU. Since Aaron blew up all of his (pathetic) social media channels with how he’d found his own soulmate at last and that she was a PSU cheerleader, and Nathaniel always defended Kevin after he transferred to the Foxes, it didn’t shock too many people when Nathaniel and Andrew allowed PSU to release a press release a few days later (finally) that they were leaving Edgar Allan to join their former teammate in South Carolina.

It’s what Andrew had strived for all these months, yet… yet here he was at 5am in a random minimart, shoving energy and granola bars, bottles of green tea, cans of energy drinks, and whatever decent chocolate snacks he could find into the basket hung from his left arm, to be paid for (along with a tank of premium gasoline) by a fancy black credit card courtesy of one Ichirou Moriyama. Dressed in a black hoodie, his stare hostile as he dared the half-asleep attendant to say something as the teenager rung him up, he was half-tempted to demand a pack of cigarettes before he left to return to the car.

Nathaniel would be upset if he resumed the habit, so he didn’t do anything.

(Nathaniel was already stressed out enough with all the changes.)

Andrew grabbed the credit card and bag of goods then left the store to return to the car, and noticed that Nathaniel had locked it during his absence. His soulmate gave him an anxious smile as he fell into the driver’s seat (hmm, very comfortable) and handed over the bag before he returned the card to his wallet then fastened his seatbelt.

“Really? Most of this stuff is junk,” Nathaniel complained as he grabbed a green tea and granola bar for himself.

“Guess I don’t have to share,” Andrew said as he fetched an energy drink and chocolate bar for himself; he felt something settle inside of himself when Nathaniel smiled at the joke.

“You’re gonna have to put up with Kevin soon enough,” his soulmate warned as he unwrapped the granola bar.

“And who do you think is gonna win?”

Nathaniel’s smile softened as he reached over to tug back Andrew’s hood. “Try not to beat him down too much.” Then his smile faded into a guilty expression. “You okay driving the last bit? We can stop somewhere.”

Andrew held up the energy drink. “This will see me through.” He popped it open and took a sip. “Once we get settled in, we’ll work on your driving lessons.��

“Yeah.” Nathaniel nibbled on the granola bar for a moment. “I… this is… I don’t….”

Andrew reached out to slide his hand into the voluminous black hood, to cup the back of his boyfriend’s nape. “We’ve got time now,” he assured Nathaniel. “No one’s going to drag you back to the Nest,” or Baltimore, “and you’ll figure this stuff out.”

Andrew would make sure he did, that Nathaniel got a chance to learn all the things he’d been deprived of, between being locked up in the mansion (death house) in Baltimore then caged in the Nest.

It was quiet while he returned to the interstate (save for the purr of the Maserati’s engine), then Nathaniel let out a loud sigh. “I just… I’ve never done anything like this before.”

No, he hadn’t, and despite that fact, he’d agreed to follow Andrew out of the Nest, to leave behind Jean (his pillar of support for years) to face the unknown. Maybe someone wouldn’t consider it such a big deal, switching campuses and teams, but Nathaniel’s life had been strictly controlled by Nathan and Tetsuji, had been restricted to school and his ‘house’ (the mansion in Baltimore, then the Nest). He’d never once gone anyplace without it being approved first, had never roamed freely, had never been free.

Andrew might have been abused and passed around, but he had been able (mostly) to go wherever he wanted (except while in juvie). Hell, some foster parents hadn’t given a damn where he went, as long as they could collect a check while he was their ‘responsibility’. So Nathaniel out in the big wide world was a shock to the redhead, one that Andrew was trying his best to cushion.

(He was there for his soulmate, someone to ground him, and even after all this time was amazed how Nathaniel’s anxiety settled at his mere presence.)

The last two hours passed mostly in silence, with Nathaniel reaching for Andrew’s right hand after he finished the granola bar and two green teas. Andrew threaded their fingers together while he followed the GPS to Winfield’s house, pleased to grant his soulmate that bit of comfort, especially as the interstate gave way to city roads and then to neighborhood streets.

“It’ll be okay,” he assured Nathaniel. “Kevin said we could trust her.” If not, then Kevin would be eating his own pickled liver.

“I know.” Nathaniel shivered as he glanced at the ranch-style houses that lined the road they drove along. “It’s just… this is so new to me.”

Andrew was quiet a moment before he stroked his thumb along his soulmate’s left hand. “If she’s not an addict of some sort, she’ll be new to me, too.” He refused to think about Cass just then.

Nathaniel gave him a horrified before he shook his head, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t, okay? Now’s not the time for our ‘who had it worse’ game.”

“Which I won,” Andrew insisted, even though that wasn’t quite true; it was basically a tie on different fronts.

“Whatever,” Nathaniel snorted, yet the tension left his body and he gave Andrew’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You’ll just go on about sleeping on the floor all the time so you can hog the bed, I bet.”

“Sleeping on the dirty floor, which is why I get to hog the blankets,” Andrew stated in a bland manner.

“As if you’re not gonna hog all the blankets anyway.”

Andrew hummed in a noncommittal manner (yes, he was going to hog all the blankets, thank you) as he pulled into Abby Winfield’s driveway; it was a nondescript split-level ranch, similar to the others on the street, with several Foxes’ flags planted in the marigold and daisy flowerbed.

For a moment, he debated his decision to have him and Nathaniel play for the Foxes, before he decided that it would be even more painful to join the Trojans.

(Dammit.)

He turned off the Maserati’s engine then reached for his cell phone so he could text Winfield that they’d arrived while Nathaniel stared at the house while nibbling on his full bottom lip (not a distraction at all). To his mild surprise, it only took a minute after his message had been sent before the front door of the house opened to reveal a woman in her early thirties, dressed in a light blue robe, her shoulder-length blonde hair tousled and a gentle smile on her face as she motioned for them to come inside.

“Uhm, she looks nice,” Nathaniel said in a quiet voice as he fiddled with his seat belt. From the doubtful tone to his voice, it was clear how well he knew that ‘looks nice’ didn’t mean that the person was nice.

“Stay behind me,” Andrew ordered; his boyfriend gave him a cool look for a moment before he nodded once.

Nathaniel may be the Butcher’s son, may be a Hatford, but they’d worked out over the past year or so (with a bit of trial and error) that Andrew faced the dangers first. Nathaniel was the one who knew Ichirou’s deepest secrets, who the Moriyama heir (and now lord) favored the most, so Andrew took the hits (and took them well, if at all), because if Nathaniel was hurt… well, it wasn’t good for either of them, if that happened.

Andrew protected Nathaniel, because Nathaniel was the one Ichirou needed the most. Nathaniel wasn’t happy about that, but Andrew didn’t know everything that his soulmate did, nor could he step in to Nathaniel’s spot if something happened to the polyglot idiot.

(He didn’t mind taking the blows when he knew his boyfriend was upset with each one that landed, when Nathaniel would gladly take them in his place. Nathaniel – Nat – never took him for granted. Never.)

(Nat was the only one who never did.)

They left the car and approached the small porch, Andrew in front, while Winfield’s smile brightened the closer they got. “You’re a bit early! I’d just put on a pot of coffee when I got your text.”

“No traffic,” Andrew said as he followed the woman into the house; Kevin swore that she was trustworthy, that they’d be fine staying with the team’s nurse until the dorms opened up in June. He wasn’t pleased to live with a stranger for several weeks, but it would attract less attention than if they rented a hotel room.

“I hope it wasn’t too bad of a drive,” Winfield said as she led them to a kitchen painted a bright yellow with yellow and white checkered curtains on the window and a table with six chairs; the aroma of brewing coffee filled the air, and a carton of eggs was set out on the counter. “Coffee will be ready soon, and I’ll make breakfast in a minute. Sit down, I’ll be right back,” she excused herself as she left the room, her left hand clutched on the front of her robe.

Considering that they’d been in a car for the last few hours, Andrew and Nathaniel remained standing; Nathaniel shuffled around the kitchen as he checked out the unfamiliar space, his movements jittery with anxiety. Andrew left him alone for a minute, then grabbed the hood of his shirt as he walked past to reel in him. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured in German as his soulmate slumped against him.

Nathaniel nibbled on his bottom lip while he nodded. “It’s just… this is all so… so weird.” He shivered a little before he rested his chin on Andrew’s left shoulder.

While Nathaniel was ecstatic to be rid of Riko and Tetsuji, he’d spent almost half his life in the Nest, and the other half had lived in constant fear while in the Butcher’s house. He was used to following rules (his small rebellions aside), to contained (twisted, stressful, dangerous) environments, to an existence that was anything but ordinary. He knew several languages, he knew how to take apart and put together a gun while blindfolded (and to shoot it), he knew dozens of ways to kill a person and how to maneuver through a good bit of the crime syndicates in North America (knew enough to bring down a good bit of the crime syndicates in North America), but he gazed in confusion at several appliances in Winfield’s kitchen, couldn’t drive and was floundering without Jean’s presence (even though he had told his partner to go join his soulmate).

Adjusting to the ‘real’ world was going to be quite the adventure for Nathaniel Wesninski.

(Andrew found it ironic as hell that he was the ‘well-adjusted’ one in that regard out of the two of them.)

Andrew had taken to massaging the small of his boyfriend’s back, which had prompted an appreciative murmur, right before Winfield returned to the kitchen, her cellphone in hand and dressed in pink sweatpants and a white t-shirt. “I’ve never heard David so cheerful this early on a Saturday morning, he-oh!” She smiled yet again to see them so close together, the expression tender; Nathaniel only pulled away a little so he could watch her movements. “He said he’ll be here with Kevin soon, so I guess I better make a lot to eat!”

“Uhm, thank you,” Nathaniel said in a quiet voice. “And thank you for letting us stay here.”

“It’s nothing, I have Foxes in and out of here all the time!” Winfield motioned around with an egg in her right hand before she cracked it into a large bowl. “Let me get this started then I’ll show you your room and you can bring your stuff in.” She gave them a wink while she continued to crack the eggs. “Kevin said you’ll be sharing a room, right? That means Aaron won’t be sleeping on a couch when he arrives.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed as he gave Nathaniel’s right hip a quick squeeze then let go so he could pour himself a cup of coffee; there were mugs set out by the coffee machine, along with a small pint of cream and a bowl of sugar. He held up the pot before pouring a second cup, which he did after Nathaniel nodded.

He’d just prepared his drink to his satisfaction (with Nathaniel wrinkling his nose over the amount of sugar and cream dumped into the mug) when Winfield stepped away from the stove. “Okay, now for a quick tour.”

They’d already seen the living and dining room from the kitchen, so she took them down the long hallway to their bedroom for the next several weeks, pointing out the linen closet and bathroom along the way. The room had a queen-sized bed, a nightstand and a small dresser that would easily hold all of their belongings during their stay, decorated in pale cream and blues. Nathaniel blinked a couple times after entering the room, probably never having witnessed something so… ‘homey’ in his life, while Andrew could put up with the lace curtains and flowers on the bedspread since the space was clean and not painted black.

Winfield next showed them the lower level as they went to the car for their belongings, which housed the washer and dryer, along with a den with a television and gaming console (which would make Aaron happy when he returned from visiting Nicky in Germany), and a treadmill (which would make Nathaniel happy) along with some other exercise equipment. While she returned to the kitchen to resume making their breakfast, Andrew and Nathaniel fetched the few bags they’d brought with them from Edgar Allan.

Most of the belongings were Andrew’s, were what he’d taken to the university back when he’d been a freshman and what he’d collected over the last two years (mostly books). Nathaniel owned very little in the way of personal items, and they’d both agreed to leave behind as much as they could that was tied to the Ravens and Edgar Allan, so he didn’t have anything other than a few changes of clothes, a suit gifted to him from Ichirou (necessary for when he was called on for ‘business’), things he required for school and those rare personal items.

Shopping was at the top of their agenda.

It didn’t take them long to unpack; they returned to the kitchen to refill their coffee mugs and help Winfield (well, Nathaniel offered) set the table. Shortly after that was done, the front door of the house opened and a loud voice called out. “Abby! Get your sutures ready, there’s a mouth I need you to sew shut!”

“But it would be so much better if we-“

“For the last time, we’re not completely revamping the practice schedule! Another word out of you and not only will I sew your lips shut, but I’ll take away your keys to the court!”

Nathaniel shuffled closer to Andrew as David Wymack, coach of the PSU Foxes, stomped into the kitchen, a large box of what appeared to be donuts held in his left hand; he was dressed in dark blue sweatpants and a faded orange and white t-shirt with the team’s logo on front. Right behind him was Kevin, dressed in his usual black jeans and a black t-shirt, who smiled when he caught sight of the two of them then rushed over to give Nathaniel a hug.

“You look good, both of you do,” he told Andrew’s soulmate, who allowed the embrace for a couple seconds, while in the background Winfield chided Wymack about the whole ‘sew mouth shut’ thing. “Glad to be here?” Once he let go of Nathaniel, he gave Andrew a polite nod in greeting.

“It’s much better than the Nest,” Nathaniel hedged, which really wasn’t much of an answer since juvie had been better than the Nest, in Andrew’s opinion. Still, Kevin didn’t seem to pick up on it, especially since his father decided to join the conversation right then.

“I have never seen this one,” he gave Kevin’s dark hair an affectionate tousle, “so wide awake this early when practice isn’t involved. I thought I’d have to drag him out of bed, but all it took was hearing that the two of you were here and he got up right away.”

Kevin frowned as he attempted to restore order to his hair then gave a gentle shove to his father’s side. “We’ve been waiting for them to join the team for how many months now,” he complained; Andrew ignored the father-son bonding (or whatever it was) so he could investigate the box of donuts, with Nathaniel right behind him despite the fact that he disliked sweets. Wymack noticed Nathaniel’s ‘clinginess’, especially when redhead didn’t grab a donut for himself.

Then again, Nathaniel had been cagey around the man whenever they’d met (when the Ravens had played against the Foxes or at the district banquets), under the premises of Nathaniel talking to Kevin (supposedly to come back to Edgar Allan). He’d made sure to stay out of Wymack’s reach the entire time they’d given an update about how things were going with Riko, wary of any adult male who reminded him of Nathan Wesninski.

“The board will be happy to know you’re finally here, considering the fits they threw over me holding open two spots on the team so late.” Wymack slowly backed away and leaned against the counter, his tattooed arms folded across his broad chest. “Though they feel it’s worth the aggravation in the end, considering we signed two more Ravens.”

“Ex-Ravens,” Nathaniel murmured as he gave Andrew a queasy glance for the large bearclaw he picked from the box for his second donut, the cream-filled one already devoured.

Wymack huffed in approval while Kevin glared at Andrew (and was blithely ignored). “Yes, exactly. You two are officially Foxes now, your gear’s in your lockers and your numbers locked in.” He gave them an amused look while Kevin appeared smug. “You’re lucky your numbers were available, though part of that is nobody wanting to touch #3 and Renee being willing to change her number for her last season.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes while he swallowed a bite of pastry. “Why did she do that?” Players tended to be attached to their numbers for some reason, not that he gave a damn about his own, even if it was tattooed on his left cheek.

Wymack glanced at Kevin before he spoke. “Because she’s not planning on joining to the pros once she graduates; she enjoys playing Exy, but she accepted the scholarship so she could get a college degree and she believes what we’re doing here with the Foxes. She feels that you’re more invested in the sport than she is, so she’s fine with changing on her number.”

Didn’t that sound like everything he knew about one Renee Walker (at least officially)? Andrew didn’t give a damn about Exy, it was just something that had allowed him to get out of a bunch of boring therapy sessions, to keep an eye on Aaron, to give Aaron a chance of a university degree, to allow him near his soulmate, to protect said soulmate….

It gave him Nathaniel.

So what if he ended up playing it for the next decade or so? Nathaniel would be by his side (except for the year where he went to the pros and Nathaniel remained behind for his last year in university) while he ‘suffered’ through it all; it didn’t matter what number he wore on his uniform or what team he played for as long as his soulmate was there beside him.

“It’s just a number,” he muttered before he tossed another piece of pastry into his mouth.

“You know it’s more than that,” Kevin argued as he rubbed the ‘2’ on his left cheek. “There might not be a Perfect Court anymore, but we’re still considered among the best players in Exy. There are… certain expectations for us.” Judging from the way he glanced at Nathaniel then back at Andrew and Wymack’s expression hardened while he talked, he didn’t mean their fans.

Kevin might not know where all the bodies were buried or had played a major part in taking down the side branch, but he still answered to Ichirou in the end.

“We’re well aware of what’s expected of us,” Nathaniel said as he stared Kevin down.

It was quiet in the kitchen after that, until Winfield cleared her throat a couple minutes later. “Breakfast is ready so why doesn’t everyone sit down?” She gave them a nervous smile as she motioned to the table; once they shuffled toward the chairs, she brought over a large pan filled with scrambled eggs, cheese and hashbrowns, followed by a plate of sausage.

Nathaniel eyed the meal with trepidation, but at least helped himself to the egg mix, probably thinking with longing of his usual oatmeal and fruit, while Andrew would have been fine with the donuts. He noticed that Winfield and Wymack bore the same soulmate marks on their forearms (what looked to be a daisy-like flower and tower), which might explain why Katelyn Day had kept Kevin a secret from the man. Winfield told them that they could help themselves to whatever was in the kitchen or make their own meals, and that she was willing to cook around any dietary requirements.

“Ah, we don’t want to bother you,” Nathaniel said as he picked at his food (at least until Andrew gave a light kick to his right ankle). “We don’t eat anything too complicated, just….”

“I’m familiar with Kevin’s diet,” she told them as she gave their friend an affectionate look. “And he told me that you like fruit. “We’ll work something out that’ll fit in with what you’re used to but won’t be as strict.”

“Or flavorless.” When Nathaniel gave Andrew a narrow look for the complaint, he rolled his eyes. “Try to tell me that you weren’t bored with steamed fish and rice.”

The left corner of Nathaniel’s mouth quirked upward as he flicked aside another piece of hashbrown from his eggs. “I think all that chocolate you eat ruined your tastebuds.”

And who was it that gave him said chocolate, often smuggled into the Nest? Andrew huffed as he scooped up the potatoes to eat himself.

“So, your uniforms and gear’s ready, it arrived the other day,” Kevin said as he pushed his empty plate aside. “We can start practicing tomorrow, I’ve some ideas that-“

“No.”

Kevin gaped at Andrew for that flat denial, while Wymack held his mug between his hands and leaned back in his chair, Winfield got up to clear the empty plates from the table and Nathaniel stilled. “What do you mean, ‘no’? You came here early to-“

“We came here to get out of the Nest, since it’s crawling with reporters and we’re no longer Ravens,” Andrew reminded Kevin and Wymack. “And to give us,” more Nathaniel, “time to adjust. Which means Exy’s going to wait a bit.”

“But-“ Kevin, the Exy addict that he was, turned to Nathaniel, the other Exy junkie at the table. “Don’t you want to get back out on court as soon as possible?”

Nathaniel let out a slow breath and scooted his chair away from the table until he could bring his right knee up and hug his bent leg against his chest; he looked so small and uncertain while hunched over like that, looked so helpless, but Andrew knew that it placed his hands near the knife holstered around his right ankle. “You forget that Jean and I had next to nothing that wasn’t given to us by the Moriyamas,” he reminded Kevin. “Andrew and I need to go shopping tomorrow.”

“You can-“

Wymack cut off his son with a stern look before he nodded at Andrew and his soulmate. “The court’s not going anywhere, get settled in first. I can give you the team’s p-card if you’re low on funds.”

“Did you see the car outside?” Kevin muttered, appearing upset over having his Exy playtime denied, only to wince when Winfield get a slight smack to the back of his head before she rejoined them at the table. “Ow!”

“We’re fine,” Nathaniel answered while Andrew shook his head; while he wasn’t a big fan of accepting handouts from anyone, especially a Moriyama, he figured that Nathaniel was owed for all the work he’d done over the years so Ichirou could pay for a few new wardrobes (at the least).

“Right, how many times have I-“

“Dad, the car!”

“Leave them be, David, I’m sure they’ll ask for help if they need it.”

Wymack scoffed at that remark but dropped the subject after giving Andrew and Nathaniel a dubious look; the rest of the meal passed in relative silence. Before Wymack and Kevin left, Wymack handed over a set of keys to them, which apparently would let them into the Palmetto Court (so would the lock picks in their possession, but there were some things their new coach didn’t need to know). “Call me when you’re ready to practice so I can show you around and give you the code to get in.”

“It’s going to be great to be on the same team again,” Kevin said in passing. “I’ve got all these ideas for us.”

“Don’t scare them away, you moron,” his father chided as he shoved Kevin toward the front door. “It’s not too late for them to run for the hills.”

Kevin mumbled something about it being all right, his voice cut off by the door closing behind him.

Nathaniel stared after the two men, a slight smile on his face, only to twitch when Winfield stood up from the table. “It’s so nice to see Kevin excited again. He’s been a bit depressed about the championship game, but you coming here has cheered him up.”

“Oh.” Nathaniel shared a look with Andrew; they knew that Kevin, for some strange reason, had been upset over the whole ‘Riko locked up’ thing (what had he thought would happen to the psychotic prick?), but they let Winfield think whatever she wanted about the matter. “Uhm, we can help,” he offered when she started to clear off the table.

“No, it’s all right, why don’t you two go rest or something?” she told them. “You look tired. I’m going to let the dishes soak then run some errands.”

Andrew didn’t need to be told twice (not that he wanted to do chores in the first place); he grabbed his soulmate’s left hand and pulled him away from the table before Nathaniel got them stuck washing the dishes or something equally lame.

The bedroom door had a lock on it, but it was the basic type found in most houses and could easily be broken with a bit of effort; Andrew resolved to get a better one while they were out shopping tomorrow. For the time being, he piled their bags in front of the door, so at least they’d have some warning if anyone tried to enter the room while they slept.

Nathaniel sat on the bed and watched him ‘barricade’ the door, a slight smile on his face. “Suspecting Kevin to burst in here to drag us off to court?”

“Would you even put up a fight if he did?”

“Hmm, maybe not if it’s after our nap.” Nathaniel tilted his head back as Andrew approached the bed, his smile growing as Andrew combed his fingers through his soulmate’s unruly hair.

“Why do I put up with a junkie like you?” Andrew murmured as he rubbed his thumbs along Nathaniel’s elegant cheekbones.

“Because I’m your sweetpea,” Nathaniel reminded him, amusement and affection bright in his pale blue eyes.

Andrew made a gagging sound as he pushed his soulmate down onto the bed. “The lack of sleep has made you delirious. Take off your clothes.”

“That doesn’t sound like we’ll be sleeping then.” Nathaniel laughed for the first time since Jean had left for California, the sound short but teasing, when Andrew threw his own shirt at the idiot’s face.

“I’m about to smother you with a pillow,” he threatened as he shoved down his jeans (and refused to be unaffected by the sight of Nathaniel shimmying out of his own pair, those long legs bared and pert ass- not now).

“I thought we were supposed to talk about new kinks beforehand.”

Andrew sighed as he slid between the sheets (baby blue, but soft so he’d bear with them). “Nat… shut up and sleep.” His boyfriend got like this sometimes when he was stressed, would be one flippant comment after the other in a show of false bravado. Nathaniel’s wry smile faltered for a moment, then he curled up close to Andrew while giving him an almost pleading look.

Clicking his tongue over the idiot’s concern, Andrew pulled Nathaniel against him. “I’m going to gut Kevin if he does break in here,” he said while he removed his armbands (to tuck beneath the pillow), once his soulmate was settled against his left side.

“Hmm, okay. He should know better, though, after I threw a knife at him the one time.”

Huh, Andrew hadn’t heard that story yet. He made a mental note to ask about it after they woke up, then pushed all thoughts out of his mind (everything they had to do, Ichirou, Kevin, the Foxes, checking up on Jean…) so he could fall asleep, Nathaniel’s breath and slow even against his shoulder.

*******

Yeah, I just couldn’t see writing yet again the whole ‘we’re gonna take down Riko’ storyline, so I skipped it. Now to show Andrew and Nathaniel joining the Foxes (and obviously, the impact that has on them, especially Nathaniel). Aaron will be joining shortly, and Jean will show up long-distance-wise for now (can’t pull him away from Jeremy now that he’s finally with his soulmate).

Oh, and Kevin obviously has a really good relationship with Wymack here. Confessing the truth earlier helped a lot in that regard (something Jean and Nathaniel got on Kevin to do).

I guess I gotta come up with a title for this? *sighs*

#aftg #raven!andrew #raven!neil #well #sorta #soulmate au #andreil soulmates #neil josten #andrew minyard #neil as nathaniel #kevin day #david wymack #abby winfield #andrew is very very very protective here #seriously #poor neil is a bit overwhelmed #like how do you live when you're not completely surrounded by psychopaths?#drew that person is smiling at me i think they're plotting to poison our food i'll stab em you create a diversion #andrew just wants his chocolate chip pancakes without a side of blood

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lunasilvermorny · 4 years

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Festival Fun SQ - Part 1 - It’s already all over the place, and we’re just starting.

Okay, let’s do this!

Ooooh, I love this loading screen.

2 out of 4 pairings are actually together in the headcanon, so I approve!

Ah, yes. We all know that every love story always starts with... gardening? Anyway, JC, can you pick up the pace already?

I promised myself I’ll try to be patient, but...

Okay, okay.

Positive attitude. Let’s continue...

Ahhhhh.... Care to elaborate a bit, MC?

I feel like we need a bit more context.

Jesus Christ, who did you murder?

So, it’s been a while since I played this game...

But you all see that dragon in the task-bar, right?

Charlie, what did you do?

Charlie: First the task-bar, then the world!

(Future me: I get it, it’s a clubs thing... I’m sharing some of my original notes too, okay? Just roll with it...)

Hagrid: Nothin’ like child-labor, I always say.

Just wait till 2020, mate.

No one is laughing now...

You’re talking to Luna... obviously, class would be the best part for her.

I can see her and Rowan squealing in excitement already.

Wait a minute, Rowan’s going to be here, right? Right, JC?!

It’s a year-5 achievement. You better make sure he’s there!

Well, that’s a huge leap... I think you added 10 levels by mistake.

Not that I'm complaining, but...

It caught me off guard.

Why do I feel like Tonks is contemplating their friendship as Luna’s talking?

I can’t be the only one that immediately thought of the "There’s a horse in the hospital” bit by John Mulaney.

Either Tonks has the biggest “bro” attitude out there, or she lives vicariously through MC.

Damn, so bitter...

But he’s 100% right, to be fair.

JC, lamp-shading it won’t make it less creepy, you know. I hated how everyone ganged up on her in the Valentine’s Day SQ. I really hope it will be a bit more subtle this time.

You mean the one where you’re still not a romantic option?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s cool they added Jae and Chiara, but I don’t get why Badeea is an option but Liz isn’t. It’s not like Badeea is super popular in the fandom. I really hope some day my girl Liz would get the love she deserves.

Wait, wait, wait, wait... Stop, stop, stop.

This is happening during year 5, right?

Okay, I actually really like it because in my headcanon Barnaby remains good friends with Ismelda and Merula, so it fits perfectly.

Okay, let’s get back to the plot.

Is Badeea painting a Puffskein in the background?

(Once again the background sub-plot is more interesting than the main plot.)

Wow, the change in attitude once MC arrives is... Yikes.

Sure, JC. Merula likes MC. Very convincing.

Stop making me relate to Ismelda!

Again, I feel like I’m going to mention it a lot - it’s a year-5 SQ, JC!

You better not shove year-6 Ben down my throat.

Also, Rowan is nowhere to be found... You’re so damn lazy!

My angel deserves so much better than this... At least now I know that JC doesn’t give a shit about players that aren’t up-to-date with the latest chapters...

But why, though? I get why Penny, but Merula is not popular and she never showed any kind of social-initiative before. She wants to be the strongest witch, but it doesn’t have anything to do with a popularity-based title.

If I remember correctly. she criticized MC in one of the previous SQs for listening to Penny and said that power is more important than popularity.

So why would she want to win something that is completely dependent on a popularity status?

Oh right, it’s a JC game. There is no logic or consistency. Sorry. Carry on...

I was so bored, I didn’t even notice the “neither” choice...

Okay, let’s just be a supportive friend, then.

I mean, if it’s between Penny and Merula, then it’s a no-brainer.

But literally anyone else, and my answer would change. (Chiara FTW!)

Awww, see what I mean by her being a bro?

So damn supportive when she's not screwing everything up.

I-

I gotta say, I like this little Ravenclaw gathering.

I wish there were more activities for MC and the other characters from her house. Because even though Tulip is not technically a part of this, it’s still nice to have a scene with Talbott, Andre and Badeea.

Also, this skunk spell... Tulip is going to abuse it, I guarantee it.

To be fair, just making all the outfits is enough work already.

But wait, isn’t he a dateable option as well? I’m confused.

I said it before, but in these type of SQs, Andre is the best!

Of course she understands, mate. You deserve way more than you’re getting out of this whole deal, trust me.

Haha, Tulip’s blank stare in the background... Cue the “They ask you how you are, and you just have to say you're fine, when you're not really fine...” meme.

Can we all embrace a collective headcanon where Andre’s actually getting compensation for all his hard work?

Luna has enough money to spare, there’s no way this bloke is not getting paid for this.

That’s usually how it works, mate.

No, no, no... Please don’t make it that everyone’s pushing her into a corner again, it was so awkward!

I can’t go through it again...

Also, it’s Luna. She chooses her dates, not the other way around.

Called it!

Though, to be fair, who didn’t see it coming?

Guess...

-------------------

Wow, they really didn’t give me a lot to work with, huh?

Well, the post is long enough, so... Hopefully there will be enough interesting stuff happening in the next post.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #festival fun sq #hphm mc #hphm year 5 #luna silver #andre egwu #badeea ali #talbott winger #tulip kasaru #nymphadora tonks #charlie weasley #rubeus hagrid

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honkster · 3 years

Text

Yay meta

1. Ranboo compared to the other anarchists of the server.

2. C!Tommy’s mental health.

3. C!Dream as an immortal insane god.

4. Ghostbur’s resurrection.

5. Who betrayed who Techno vs Tommy edition.

A bit of an after-thought - everyone on the SMP is traumatized. Absolutely everyone, no one is handling everything in a mentally healthy way. That’s why it’s meaningless to try to say what’s wrong and what’s right, that’s why it’s all morally grey - everyone is doing things because of their own warped perception of the world, the right and wrong blur when everyone thinks that they’re right and everyone else is wrong. Trying to justify someone’s actions with logic and moral righteousness is inherently time-wasting, because everyone is acting how their feelings let them at the time.

Saying who’s right or wrong, trying to figure out villains and good guys <<< Analyzing characters by their actions and trying to understand WHY rather than SHOUD THEY HAVE.

Probably a bit of a backwards way to say that I don’t care if Tommy or Techno are wrong in their argument - L’manburg was destroyed, Tommy thinks Techno is bad. That’s the end of that story, stay tuned for what Tommy’s gonna do now.

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There is just a very huge difference between Ranboo and the other two anarchists of the server.

Ranboo, while being strong in his beliefs, is a non-violent person. Yes he’s stacked, yes he could fight, but he chooses to stay on the sidelines and just watch the action unfold. He’d rather listen in to people and then make conclusions about their actions and decide on things by himself. He’s hard to sway, Quackity may have softened his viewpoint slightly, and I genuinely hope that Ranboo follows through with that and decides that teams and groups is something that kind of needs to happen before the idea that all conflicts are a personal thing between two people can actually make sense. People are stronger together, especially those that don’t have good gear or pvp skills. The weaker people, the ones lower in the food chain, don’t have that many options for getting their point across. The server is already dominated by the strongest, most skilled, most geared people, and those are the people that matter, when it comes down to it.

Quackity is very much a unique case. He has managed to do with four people what L’manburg and all of its inhabitants didn’t manage for the longest time. He is very much a main player.

The other two anarchists are both very violent. Dream was always like that, he hasn’t shown a crumb of being able of change or considering a different opinion (extreme delusions or just extreme self-confidence? Either one makes him a prick), but Techno actually had an arc where he made the entirely wrong conclusions.

I don’t think I’ve talked about the Butcher Army much.

So Techno blew up Manberg, threatened to take down any government that sprouted up and then dipped. He made his little cottage, he went on a retirement arc, so on and so forth.

But then the Butcher Army formed.

And their one target was the pig.

And they went out of their way to track him down, to prepare to kill him, they arrived there and threatened him, and they said that it’s time for Techno to pay for his crimes, and they reacted how anyone else would when being attacked – they attacked too. They took his horse to get him to stop, they brought him up for execution, they didn’t manage to kill him, but they switched targets once they realized that they can’t actually kill him while literal god is on his side, helping him.

The conclusion there wasn’t that government is evil and abuses its power. It’s that violence is paid forward with violence.

It doesn’t really matter that Techno misunderstood. Either way he would’ve returned to good old Blood for the Blood God Technoblade, but I fear that this event reinforced his very wrong belief that government is the source of ALL problems on the server.

If he would say that government is the cause of MAJOR conflicts that wouldn’t happen if government didn’t exist, yeah! Yeah, I agree with that actually. But he’s saying that EVERY conflict is because of government.

The disc war was not because of government.

The Pet War was not because of government.

Most of the rivalries of the server are not because of government.

Tommy was not… Actually (yeah Tommy was exiled because of government and the fact that the sentimentality for L’manburg seemed very important at that point. Things shouldn’t be more important than people, people you can’t just replace. But…) Dream specifically when he went after Tommy targeted L’manburg. If the country didn’t exist, Dream probably would have gone about it another way, probably one more difficult, but he wouldn’t have involved all these people whose only connection to one another is a flimsy city built on stilts. I still hate how Techno refuses to acknowledge that Dream WAS the cause of Tommy’s exile, not government.

But what if Techno was big brain?

Yeah, things shouldn’t be more important than people. Is that what he’s suggesting? That government favors power over giving up land/buildings/countries for their people, knowing that if they lost their country they would no longer have power?

That would be very interesting!… If his actions actually indicated this.

Techno didn’t chunk error L’manburg because he thought those buildings gave power to someone over another. He did it out of revenge, claiming that it still lined up with his anarchist beliefs and that he was doing good. Techno released withers, the most destructive and hard-to-kill mob available to the server, he stalled while Dream essentially set up nukes above the city. They didn’t do this out of kindness and want for the people to have freedom, they KILLED the people that they were so “graciously” “saving”.

Technoblade and Dream are both violent anarchists who misunderstood what the word means. They don’t seek order in the chaos, they don’t seek a peaceful anarchy, they just want blood.

Which makes me very worried for Ranboo. I don’t think that he will get influenced by the two, if the two ever come back together to stir up shit again. I don’t think Ranboo is going to believe Technoblade when he says that government is the cause of ALL problems, because Ranboo doesn’t just hate the factions of the server. He has said that Dream is the reason for a lot of conflict on the server, he understands what Dream is up to. If he will agree with Techno at the beginning, he certainly will find issue in Techno considering Dream a worthy ally.

I just hope that Techno LISTENS for at least once in his life.

(But I won’t be too sad if it’s Phil Ranboo manages to convince. Might actually be easier to get through to anarchist pig Blade that way…)

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I worry for c!Tommy’s mental health.

I know this probably is never going to get addressed rather than that one tiny little plot point where he got exiled for no reason but being as resilient as Tommy is, so constantly himself without apology, so constantly in everyone’s faces and just out there so much, so purposefully annoying just because it’s entertaining for him… I don’t think he’s alright.

The many times he has been beaten down, how many times people have battled him and won, how many times he’s told to shut up and just take it – it makes you wonder how come he hasn’t just given up by now and toned it down so people stop hating him.

Yeah, he’s resilient. Yeah, he’s annoying that way. But I seriously doubt that he can take all that he takes and still be perfectly okay.

One insult means nothing. One time can be just a made up thing to make you pissed off.

Same thing twice? Someone’s just mocking you.

Three times? Wow okay these guys must all be friends and they gossip about me!

Four times?… Hey how big is your friend group exactly?

Five times?…

Six times?…

Seven?…

How about 20.

No matter how ridiculous something that someone noticed about you may be, if repeated enough times, you almost sub-consciously start to believe it. Lots of people notice this – hey I can also notice it!

C!Tommy being annoying on purpose, saying that it’s just entertaining for him… Doesn’t that sound like a really depressing thing to enjoy? Something that garners you so much attention you literally get exiled?

And the fact that, even during Dream enforcing the exile, even when he escaped, when he appeared in Techno’s house and huddled under it like a raccoon, he was still so painfully annoying you just want to punt him?… Does that really sound like just a funny pastime for him and not a defense mechanism against all of the shit people put him through, something that he does out of habit because even though it gets him in trouble a lot of the time, it’s also the only way he can actually react to events and people threatening him, cause what is he gonna do, actually threaten them and get them to leave that way?

I dunno this may be dumb… I may be projecting slightly… Wondering where all of his resilience comes from when actual good things that happened because of him versus the bad things that people constantly blame him for… Sir where do you get that strength and how can I sell my soul for it?

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Oh I’ve written characters that think of awful, violent things as fun…

I actually really like those characters.

I don’t know why I always make them the most traumatized, split-personality, abused and manipulated victims-turned-absolute-monsters.

No wait I do know why.

BECAUSE IF YOU THINK THAT CAUSING PAIN TO OTHERS IS A FUN TIME AND YOU WANT TO DO IT AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN JUST TO SEE THEIR EXPRESSION OF PAIN, THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU.

Dream’s no different. We haven’t seen much of him, other than his motivation and the fact that he goes the wrong way about thinking of means to get to the end. He hasn’t revealed a traumatic past or any real reason why he targets only one person if torturing everyone on the server would probably be way more “fun”.

But he is called god.

And THAT lines up with one of my favorite things to talk about!

Immortals :D

You see the whole concept of a god or an immortal being is at its core something we shouldn’t comprehend. Death and the fact that it will happen can be counted as a reason for a lot of our motivations, so how does it affect one’s thinking if one of our core reasons for life is erased?

I can dump a whole philosophical essay here but I feel like it is highly unnecessary. Dream, as an immortal god on the server, has access to stuff that many people have to grind hours of their life for. This twists his perception of the value of certain items, and also certain actions. The fact that he cannot die also affects that perception, and in his long life he has probably had the same thoughts a lot of immortals have – few things are meaningful in life, few are worth sacrificing things for and few are just as immortal as they are.

This, of course, can cause a little thing called an existential crisis, and it can break an immortal, especially if they were once human and most definitely mortal. We don’t know for sure what Dream is, but assuming either scenario makes his pursuit of fun and drama valid.

If he was once a human and by some dark magic gained immortality, his want to see how humans react to things being destroyed, or how humans fold under torture, may be a twisted way of analyzing himself, trying to understand how he could be a part of them, trying to reconnect with his old self, attempts to return to the mortal plane, there are many options but all firmly lead into “this is just a fun experiment for him”. How people throw mentos in a bowl and pour coke over it just to see an explosion. That’s Dream with the SMP.

If he was always a god, then it gets even more interesting (and thematically relevant!). He never understood these creatures that run around and desperately try to prevent death while simultaneously causing so much of it. If Dream doesn’t understand mortals and death as a concept, then his view of them, based on what he’s seen of the SMP, is that humans SEEK violence, and drama, and pain, and harm. They purposefully create meaningless things to then give them meaning and then feel pain over them. He is utterly confused by humans, but he also understands them quite well.

Taunted, insulted? Retaliate with force.

A country that demands peace? Blow it to smithereens.

A sentimental thing that you could literally replace within a fraction of a life, a little thing of pride that you were able to acquire?

It can control people.

And he seems to understand THAT concept of humanity perfectly well. The want for power, the seeking of control, the simple want to somehow be above your equals, somehow stand out and be admired.

Dream grasps that concept so well he might as well be human.

I don’t know if this humanity side of Dream will be his hubris, if the weakness he acquired from humans – sentimentality over objects that can very easily be replaced and mean nothing in the grand scheme of things – may actually come back after he so rudely pushed it away.

We don’t know enough about this guy. We can make some conclusions, sure, but uh… The simple fact that he causes chaos for fun means that whatever we may think the reason for his motivations is, we will probably fail to understand him as long as we think logically.

C!Dream is an absolute prick. I want to punt him.

But I won’t until he explains why he chose to be a bad copy of the Joker with immortality sprinkled on the fucked up cake.

<_><_><_><_><_> <_><_><_><_><_>

Wilbur is coming back into the plot!

Not that Ghostbur isn’t important to the plot. His character is just stagnant because in order to give him proper char development you need to address some very serious mental issues and that’s not exactly something the SMP does often. (Most serious I’ve seen it is Tommy’s exile arc and maybe Fundy’s adoption stream)

So they’re bringing back Alivebur. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything. Literally everything.

I talked about it once, how if Ghostbur’s character wants to reach peace – finish his arc – firstly he has to confront his trauma. At the same time I said that if he was brought back to life, it could hinder his already done little progress of adapting to ghost life and probably reset him. Very certain conditions would have to be met in order for Ghostbur to gain something out of being brought back to life, and a lot of those conditions lean on Alivebur coming back as a certain “version” of himself, which cannot be predicted simply because there isn’t a resident ghost expert on the server. No one knows how these idiots work.

The worrying thing is that they are most definitely bringing back Alivebur. There wouldn’t be need for this plot otherwise. So they will definitely succeed, Alivebur will definitely be brought back, and he will be important to the plot.

What can we theorize about knowing those things?

Mmmm… Isn’t it weird that Ghostbur said he wants to quit being Ghostbur after L’manburg was destroyed? Is it a want to stop ignoring bad things that are happening, since he knows he is going to forget this and move on and he doesn’t want to keep escaping anymore? That’s a good motivation.

Or is it because Ghostbur is like the old spirit of L’manburg, both connected to it physically and mentally? Would Alivebur want L’manburg back, considering that was his only goal in his life, to destroy it, or is he finally going to feel fulfilled that it is over and his obsession with it can die?

I dunno! I have no idea what part they want Wilbur to play in the upcoming plot. It’s very unclear if Wilbur is going to be a side character that moves the plot in little ways or if he’s going to become the main character again or if, and this is probably my most likely theory, the resurrection fails at first and it leads the whole gang, with Ghostbur up front, down weird paths that somehow end with Dream.

(Cause we all know that guy is not going to just write himself out of the plot if he can instead continue being the villain)

It all feels like it’s going to connect, finally. All of the main people from the past getting back into the spotlight in a very convoluted plot to get one of them back into the land of the living.

Don’t really know though. Wondering how resurrection works, that’s all. Knowing that info, may be possible to make a better theory.

<_><_><_><_><_> <_><_><_><_><_>

There is no one right in the “Tommy betrayed Techno” vs “Tommy realized Techno is not a good influence on him” argument. Neither one is right, but neither one is completely wrong. Neither character is in the right, or in the wrong, and it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong in this scenario, fact is it happened and the people reacted how they did.

There is only one thing to say about Techno and Tommy, and probably the only thing I’m kinda feeling very strongly about.

Sometimes the refusal to be swayed to another side or believing in yourself gets you called selfish.

That’s both about Techno and Tommy.

And a lot of other people on the server.

<_><_><_><_><_> <_><_><_><_><_>

Here’s a cookie for reading all of that. I can also bake your favorite muffin if you want :3

#honkmeta #dream smp analysis #these block men make do big thinks #not always good thinks #but big #btw i get most of these ideas when im scrolling through tumblr #just people giving their opinions on things makes me realize hey i can talk about this #you go you funky little theorizers #keep giving me ideas please my brain fries every time i go on twitch

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soccer-fanfiction · 3 years

Text

Chapter 15: In Which The English Bounce Back

This is about the whole Euro final and how Saka reacted to all the racism. Movie references are here, as are the Liverpool pre-season training camp.

HENDERSON had watched the whole thing with his own two eyes. He had seen Jorginho’s penalty saved by Pickford. He didn’t like either, but he applauded the goalie’s efforts.

He had then seen Southgate go through his clipboard of takers. He ran his pen through, then pointed to Saka.

Saka had been elated. He had marched up to the spot without thinking twice. Not minding that this was their last chance to stay in the finals. He had just gone there and set the ball on the spot, staring Donnarumma in the eye.

The whistle. The kick. The save.

Twenty-six Italians had surged past Saka on the way to their supporters. Saka had slumped immediately, and soon some of the other lads were over to shield him from prying cameras.

Needless to say, they had all been gutted at Donnarumma saving the penalty. Henderson, in particular, was. Why, if Brian wasn’t his middle name, he would have gone for “Trophy” or “World Cup”. But now all he could do was simply applaud the England fans for their journey, even though he personally thought there were way too many for safety.

They had tried to win. But it wasn’t enough. And while Henderson was disappointed, as well, he’d have to wait until later for his moping session. Because there was a bigger job up ahead.

Henderson paced the hallway. While he had sent Rashford to go talk to Saka, Southgate had come to offer him some dinner. They had played far past the usual dinner hour, and most of the team had been too nervous to eat.

He had refused the sandwich. He had to wait for Rashford first. Judging by the pair’s young age and Rashford’s inexperience at team talks, who knew what could happen.

The doorbell rang. Henderson opened the door. The last thing he needed was a crazy fan looking for autographs--or even worse, to start trouble. “If you’re here to mess with Saka, get out!” he roared.

“Uh, skipper? You look like you could use a shower.”

Henderson shook his head. He should have realized that the three people were actually his Brazilian teammates--Firmino, Alisson and Fabinho. The three had played in the Copa America final just the other night.

“Sorry about being late.” Firmino was the first to enter. “There was a storm in the system, so they canceled our flight from Rio. We had to get an indirect flight to make it here.”

Alisson snorted in disgust. “How can international airlines get a flight from Rio to Belfast, but not Rio to London?”

Fabinho was the only one who actually shook Henderson’s hand. “Sorry about all this. Jet lag is messing up Bobby’s common sense. Not that he had much to begin with--ow, hey!”

Firmino twirled a leather belt around like a lasso. “You deserved that, Fabio. Now to the skipper. What’s up with this? It’s been almost four hours since the match ended.”

“Haven’t had time to shower,” said Henderson. He tugged at his sweaty jersey. “I’ve been skippering ever since the game ended. Keeping people sane, guarding the wounded from Notschieys.” He exhaled. “It’s hard, especially condisreing we’ve got--”

“Skippy!”

A look of annoyance flickered across Shenerdon’s expressions. “And there’s Example A of why I can’t take a bath around here.”

Harry Maguire lumbered around the corner. He had a scowl marring his expression, which was saying a lot considering he never was worth looking at anyways.

“Harry, we’ve got no time for this.” Henderson stepped forward. “Step away from the lads.”

“But it was so funny! I mean, laughing at the little Afro shrimp!”

“Wait a minute,” said Fabinho. “What Afro shrimp, Maguire?”

“I mean, Saka.”

Fabinho, Alisson and Firmino stiffened. Henderson leaned forward. Judging by the look on his face, though, it was not an anti-gravity lean whatsoever.

“Now--hey, hey, look Skippy, it’s all about the spirit of the Euros.”

Henderson was fast approaching. “You’re about to BE the spirit of the Euros, Harry! What were you thinking, teasing the lad? He’s already prepping for crucifixion as things stand!”

Maguire’s scowl immediately disappeared, replaced by a devious smile. “That’s a brilliant idea, Skippy! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go crucify him.”

Henderson scowled and raised the broom. That was all it took for Maguire to sprint towards the door. He got there, but not before Shenerdon gave him a swift clout on the behind.

“That took care of him,” Henderson said. He hung the broom back on its rack. “Now do you see why I can’t take a bath in peace?”

The three nodded. At that moment, Rashford slunk out of the locker room. He had showered earlier, but he looked exhausted.

“Marcus!” Henderson went over to him. “What happened to you, lad? You look like you’re ready to collapse?”

“As if you look any better,” Rashford dryly remarked. He looked up from the phone in his hand. “In case you’re wondering, Saka’s not any better than before.”

“As I expected,” said Henderson. “And considering Mr. Notschiey had to stick his two cents in, why would he be?”

Rashford nodded. “At least I confisticated his phone. It started.”

“Oh, no,” said Henderson, taking the phone from Rashford’s hand. “Yes, it has indeed begun.”

“What’s it?” said Alisson.

“Hate.” Henderson handed the phone over to the goalkeeper. “Racist hate texts. Read.”

Alisson did, with Firmino and Fabinho looking over his shoulders. There they were--a flood of racial slurs, monkey emojis, and anything having to do with discrimination.

“Just awful stuff,” Firmino said. “Did he read this?”

Rashford groaned. “What do you expect?”

Henderson took the phone. He immediately started typing a message to the FA, then deleted the tweets.

“Don’t delete them!” said Rashford. “It’s further proof of how racist England is, and he needs to see that.”

“Kayo’s seen enough proof in the past hour,” Henderson snapped. “I’m deleting them, and then I'm going to him and Jadon. I can’t stand people abusing young people like this.”

“But--” Rashford began.

“Enough! Rashford, get everyone ready for dinner. I’ll handle Saka.”

Henderson hadn’t expected to hear victory music blasting from Saka’s locker. He knew as much as that. What he didn’t expect was that he wasn’t even there. He tried the broom closet, the bathroom and the away locker, before ultimately finding all the players at the dinner table.

“We’re having dinner now?” said Mason Mount, walking in with Ben Chilwell. The two had met at Chelsea and had been buddies since then. “Hey, if I knew, I would have put on a tuxedo and gotten Ben to shave.”

Mount’s witty comment caused a few chuckles to stir up the table.

“Southgate dragged Saka over to get some dinner,” Rashford whispered as Henderson took his seat. “It’s not working.”

“Hey!” said Mount, prodding Saka in the ribs. “What do you call two banana peels at the fair?”

Saka paid no attention. Chilwell twirled a bagel on his index fingers, ignoring the mouthed order “manners” from Southgate.

“A pair of slippers!” Mount and Chilwell laughed hysterically at the joke, even though nobody else did.

“Seriously, Mase?” said Ollie Watkins. “That joke is as old as history. Here’s a good one. What did Joseph say to his wife? Won’t you Mary me!”

Henderson had to facepalm at the two’s silliness. Watkins and Mount could be motormouths when let go, and they went on exchanging jokes, before Chilwell whacked Mount with a bagel.

“Hey!” Mount was furious, but then got an idea. He twireld a forkful of spaghetti, then aimed it at Chilwell. It bounced off a drinking glass--then landed on Kane instead!

Kane didn’t seem to mind, though. Instantly, a chicken leg flew through the air, followed by a tomato from Calvert-Lewin. Soon, it was a full-fledged food fight.

Henderson had got involved, and was searching for Rashford so he could hurl a couple of fruitcakes at him. He draped the tablecloth over himself and crawled on the table. Everybody had left their positions at the table to participate except Saka. He was kind of slumped over his food, which hadn’t been touched.

“Come on, Bukayo,” said Henderson, wrapping an arm around the teenager. “You’ve at least got to eat something. I won’t let you die of starvation just because of a stupid penalty.”

“It wasn’t just a stupid penalty,” he whispered. “That penalty meant the Euros, Jordan, the Euros. I had one chance for greatness and I spoiled it.”

“You didn’t spoil it,” Henderson began, then paused, remembering that he did have a point. If he had scored, it would have been on to the next penalty round.

“Okay, fine you have a point, you did miss and the subsequent miss did directly cause us to lose. But it’s not purely your fault. It’s Mase’s fault, it’s Marcus’s fault, it’s Harry’s fault, it’s my fault, as well. We all win together and we all lose together.”

“But you just said it was my fault!”

Henderson sighed and stuck his head out from the tablecloth. The food fight had calmed down, and everybody was cleaning up. Henderson snuck over to Rashford to talk with him, but not before bopping him on the head with a fruitcake.

“How’s Saka?” Rashford whispered, making sure Lingard and Mount weren’t paying attention. The pair were right next to the skipper.

“Not good.” Henderson picked up a napkin soiled with tomato sauce. “He’s not eaten and he thinks it’s his fault.”

“Did you give him an honest answer,” said Rashford, “or a Euro answer?”

“Both.”

Rashford dropped the plate he was holding. Luckily, Southgate had chose paper plates. “Okay, that’s it, Jordan. You need to clear your brain. Go get some ice cream and take a shower. We’ll handle the cleanup before Southgate finds out.”

“But--”

“No buts. Go. Take. A. Shower.”

“Fine,” Henderson snapped, angrier than he meant to. He was tired and filthy, sure, but he didn’t need the others to call it out.

Rashford slunk off.

Henderson came out of the showers and stumbled into the hotel room, getting sleepier by the minute. Like Rashford had ordered, he had gone to get some ice cream, only to discover it was all gone. Henderson, puzzled by the ice cream’s disappearance, passed through the lounge room--only to find Saka lying on the couch, watching an old sitcom, with a spoon and half the chocolate peanut butter ice cream. The lad was obviously heartbroken, and it wasn’t just because of the loss.

“How’s Bukayo?” said Kane. He was already snuggled beneath the covers in the other bed. “Any better?”

“No,” said Henderson. “Marc sent me to the den to get some ice cream, and you know what I found? Bukayo Saka, eating all the chocolate peanut butter.”

Kane shorted in disgust. “It’s not fair,” he said. “He was brave enough to take a penalty and he missed--he should be backed, not trampled.”

Henderson yawned and crawled into bed. “It’s not just Kayo now,” he said. “Marcus said he got a mountain of monkeys too--and he’s playing keepaway with ‘em.”

“Turned off his phone?”

“Turned off his phone and temporarily shut down his Twitter.”

Kane groaned. “That’s it. I can’t take this any more. You need help, and so does Saka.”

“Help, schmelp. I can handle him. I’ll bring him to Austria for training camp.”

“You are not bringing him to Austria. We are getting help elsewhere, whenether you like it or not.”

“Well, I don’t like it, and I’m not doing it. He’s. Coming. To. Austria. With. Me.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, what harm could it do to be surrounded by Liverpudlians? They’re gentle.”

“They’re noisy.”

“We’re just vocal.”

“No you’re not.”

In Liverpool, Klopp was presenting the boarding lists for training camp.

“As you know,” he began, “I usually pick the roommates by who’s closer to who. However, this year, I decided we should use the power of randomness to determine our pre-season buddies.”

“Yes!” Mane pumped a fist in the air. “Now I don’t have to get Moshroom!”

“If you’re on the same wheel, you can’t be together,” the German explained. He brought out two lottery wheels. “Now let’s begin!”

One by one, he spun the wheels. Ultimately, it ended up like this:

Van Dijk/Awonyi

Minamino/Origi

Firmino/Thiago

Jones/Adrian

Gomez/R. Williams

Phillips/Davy

Alisson/Tsmikas

Mane/H. Wilson

Matip/Kelleher

Milner/Karius

Henderson/Keita

Robertson/Alexander-Arnold

Oji/Jota

Grujic/N. Williams

Salah/Shaqiri

Chamberlain/Fabinho

H. Elliott/Konate

Understandably, everybody was shocked.

“How did I end up with Moshroom?” Shaqiri protested.

“Well, somebody had to get him,” said Mane. “And I’m glad it’s not me.”

“But it’s so unfair!” Shaqiri yelled. “He’s going to spend the whole summer talking about himself!”

“Why wouldn’t I talk about myself?” said Salah. “I am very popular.”

Shaqiri facepalmed in despair.

“Thankfully I got Robertson,” said Alexander-Arnold. “This is going to be the best summer ever!”

“You said that right,” said Klopp. “I picked us a nice, scenic location right next to the Alps. We’re going to camp there between two of our mini-fixtures.”

“And roast marshmallows?” said Jota.

“And roast marshmallows.”

“Ugh, those fluffy white devils again,” said Milner. “I’ll stay away from them. Raspberries, please!”

Klopp rolled his eyes. The rest cracked up at his sarcasm.

“We’ll also swim in the river, tour the town, and gather souvenirs. It’ll be a true vacation! Now, get into the airplane, stat! Milner and Sabra already packed your suitcases.”

The roommates went in, two by two. Henderson leaned over. “Hey, Naby?”

“Eh?” Keita eyed the English skipper suspiciously. “What?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“We’re going to make a phone call to Arsenal,” said Henderson, the idea formulating as he spoke. “You are not going to make a fuss when Willian brings Saka here, whenether you like it or not.”

To Henderson’s pleasure, Willian brought Saka there right on time. Thankfully, he didn’t bring David Luiz with him, which would have made things more complicated. Who he did bring was totally unexpected.

Rashford.

“Marcus!” Henderson exclaimed. “I thought you were in Manchester!”

“I couldn’t get a break in there,” Rashford said. He filled up a teakettle and placed it on the stove. “Everybody there was asking me questions, but they didn’t know how it felt to recieve monkey emojis. Okay, maybe Aaron, but not much else.”

That’s when Henderson realized it. With all that had been going on, the other players had been so focused on helping Saka and Jadon Sancho that they had clearly forgotten about Rashford.

“Marcus,” Henderson began. “I-I can’t say how sorry I am. We were so focused on the others that we totally neglected you.”

“But I get it,” Rashford said. He placed a reassuring hand on the skipper’s shoulder. “I’ve gone through these things before, but the others didn’t. So it was natural you try to help them first.” He sighed. “I wish you had paid some more attention, though.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Marc. I know it’s odd, but--is there any way I can help you? Anything I can do right now for you?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “No, honestly. Remember how my mural was vandalized?”

“Yeah. I can believe it, but it’s awful.”

“Well, Harry took me over there, and guess what? Not only was it rebuilt, but,”--a slow smile crept onto Rashford’s lips--“there’s all these really beautiful notes that had covered the vandalism. Including one from Solksjaer, who wants to visit me today. So if we’re going to help Kayo then we have to hurry!”

“You have a plan for Saka?” said Henderson. He cast a glance at the teenager, who was sprawled out on the couch.

“Indeed I do.” Rashford took a keyboard from the long suitcase he had brough in. “At first didn’t get his case, because he was acting like someone from a sappy romance novel. But then I talked with Solksjaer, and he advised me to deal with this like one of those novels. So I was watching an old movie, and I decided to step into his shoes for a bit.”

“You’re actually going to step in his shoes?”

Rashford threw his head back and laughed. “No,” he said. The kettle whistled, and he watched as Henderson removed it from the fire. “But I’m going to play a little ditty for him first. I’ll start a cappella, then you’ll join in, okay?”

“Oh, my god.” Henderson almost dropped the kettle. “We aren’t actually going to do a pep talk song, are we?”

“So?” Rashford cranked up the piano stand. “You encourage your teammates all the time on live TV.”

“That’s different.”

“No, it ain’t.”

Henderson sighed. “I give up. But if we’re going to get to the corazons again, you’re out of Austria in a minute.”

“Fine.”

Rashford began slow-walking towards Saka, humming under his breath. Henderson couldn’t believe it--he was actually going to do it. He turned on his video camera--once this was over and done, he couldn’t let his teammates miss it.

Rashford finally made it to the couch. He slunk around it, as if he was in a smooth jazz video. And that’s when he began singing--rap.

“Well, something’s wrong with you/ A bunch of cares in the world/ Trashed like a trashcan in the districts where the garbage is hurled/ And people hate you/ Like you’re a leech to the world/ Your skin’s too dark, they say, your hair’s too curled.”

Saka just buried his head under the pillow. “Talk about it.”

“Yeah, talk about hate.” Rashford winked at Saka. The forward couldn’t help smiling a bit.

“You know, I’ve been there/ Feels like a black hole/ Where everybody hates you as much as a mole.”

Henderson chuckled. He zoomed in.

“But you gotta stand up/ Hold your head up high/ Stride the road with confidence and put your hands up to the sky.” Rashford swept Saka off the sofa.

“There is a history that proves we blacks are pioneers/ We have been doctors, rulers, scientists and engineers/ We have been teachers, opera singers, we ruled the world of soccer/ The Egyptians showed us how to build a cool door-knocker!”

“The Egyptians showed us how to build a cool door-knocker!” Saka joined in.

“Yes, they did, my brother/ We take care of each other/ So who could it be now knocking on my door?”

The door opened. Robertson and Alexander-Arnold stood in the doorway. They had gotten quite a surprise from seeing a Mancunian inside the Liverpudlian training camp.

“If this is a practical joke,” Robertson began, “then I’m not going to ask who rigged it.”

“Hey, brothers of mine/ From Edinbrugh and Liverpool/ I'm going to sing a song and it will be really cool.”

“I’m not getting it,” said Robertson. “Are you singing about us?”

“Yes, he is.”

“TREV?!”

“He’s singing ‘bout a story/ Of a plot getting old/ Some try for fame and glory/ But the fan’s response is cold.” Alexander-Arnold twirled Robertson around, and soon the two were singing together.

“But you gotta stand up/ Hold your head up high/ Stride the road with confidence and put your hands up to the sky.”

Henderson watched the four dancing. He slowly realized the song wasn’t a pep-talk--it was talking to him.

“You’re not invincible/ But black or white or brown is wonderful/ You live your life ‘til you die, so there’s no time to cry/ You can choose to lose/ And then you win the next time!”

Henderson took a few slow steps. “But you gotta stand up/ Hold your head up high/ Stride the road with confidence and put your hands up to the sky.”

“You’re getting it!” Rashford took Henderson’s hand.

“Yeah, put your hands up in the sky/ You gotta stand up loud and high/ Don’t fall into the other side of sadness and pain.”

Rashford and the others answered. “So walk the happy side of life/ Reduce the pain, reduce the strife/ And make the cosmos feel alive/ So let freedom reign!”

“So let freedom reign.”

The music stopped. Everybody was frozen, just as they were when the song started, until Saka began to laugh.

Everyone just exchanged glances. “Are you sure he’s mentally stable?” Robertson whispered. “Because this is the quickest mood improvement I’ve ever seen. Believe me, I know. Bobby told me.”

“And when was the last time Bobby told the truth?” Alexander-Arnold muttered.

Saka finally regained enough composure to speak. “It’s just...you guys chatting, singing, dancing, exchanging banter and stuff, it feels so normal! Before you guys weren’t normal at all!”

“What are you talking about?” Rashford seemed even more confused than the Liverpudlians. “We were doing all this for you.”

“Marcus Rashford, you really don’t understand,” Saka began. “You’re right, I was upset about the finals and everything--until you began watching those god-awful romance movies.”

“See, Robbo?” Alexander-Arnold whispered. “I’m not the only one.”

“In the time I’ve spent with you playing for England, I had never seen you watch a mushy movie. So I was now worried that everybody had changed. Henderson was snapping at everyone, you wanted to bring me home with you, Kane was standing in as skipper--it was like the world had turned upside-down.”

“Hold on.” Robertson held up his hands. “So what you’re all saying is that you were each stressing out the other because the other was stressed?”

Henderson, Rashford and Saka excahngerd looks. Theire faces were obviously blushing, and it was some time before one of them spoke up.

“What a bunch of idiots,” Henderson groaned.

“I feel ridiculous.” Rashford hid his face under his shirt.

“Well,” Saka said, shrugging, “don’t we all now?”

That was enough to get everybody laughing.

“Alright, then,” said Henderson. “My tea’s cold and we still have a lot of hot water. Why don’t I make us all some hot chocolate with marshmallows, then we can watch a good movie?”

“Okay!” Alexander-Arnold, Robertson and Saka pumped their fists in the air.

“What about you, Marcus?” Henderson addressed Rashford, who hadn’t said a word since the revelation.

“Fine,” said Rashford. “But please, please promise it has nothing to do with love or romance or anything!”

“I was thinking more like Planet Earth.” Henderson waved the DVD in the air.

“Are you serious?” Saka screeched. “What about Avatar?”

“Carmen, Carmen all the waaay, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaaaaa!!!!” Alexander-Arnold held up the DVD.

“Are you crazy!” Rashford swiped the DVD from his hands. “What about Riverdance?”

“So I’m going to spend two hours of my precious life watching a bunch of boring Irish dudes dancing?” Saka grabbed the DVD from Rashford and held up Avatar. “No way, Jose!”

“If we watch a romance movie one more time, Trent, I’m leaving!” Rashford threatened.

“Planet Earth! Planet Earth!”

“Will you shut up?!”

Keita emerged from the showers (where he had been all this time) to find the five players squabbling about movies.

“Ice Age!”

“Hamlet!”

“Inferno!”

“Star Wars!”

“Winnie-the-Pooh!”

“ANDY?!”

Keita chuckled, and circumnavigated the living room. He crawled through the kitchenette, before slowly closing the hotel room door. He didn’t want to get involved in this one. After all, if push came to shove, he could always bunk with Salah.

#jordan henderson #bukayo saka #marcus rashford #andrew robertson #trent alexander arnold #harry kane #england international team #euro 2020

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