#philosophy joke

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

Incorrect The Picture of Dorian Gray Quote

Some random person: Do you gentlemen have any personal philosophical beliefs?

Dorian Gray: Screw around and find out.

Henry Wotton: Hedonism.

Basil Hallward: Existentialcrisis-ism.

Henry: That's not how you-you know what, I change mine to existential criticism.

Source: Me, I'm so proud 😭

#existential criticism #=very important advice #incorrect quotes #incorrect the picture of dorian gray quotes #the picture of dorian gray #dorian gray #henry wotton #basil hallward #dorian gray incorrect quotes #henry wotton incorrect quotes #basil hallward incorrect quotes #funny #meme #my writing #philosophy #philosophical tendencies #existentialism #philosophy joke #hedonism

[mtf-delta5]

“What is a woman?”

A featherless biped.

DUH

#gay #trans pride #transmasc #transfem #transgender #trans man #trans woman #nonbinary #gender #philosophy #philosophy joke #i’m so tired #trans rights #stfu trans women are women and trans men are men

[booksnotyetwritten]

What did German philosophers say when an upstart changed their whole perspective? "I Kant believe you've done this."

#Kant #philosophy #philosophy joke

[everybody-dies-at-least-once]

plato's allegory of the cave but the prisoners are the flies that keep getting inside and the image held up is the view from my window

#silly #my post #allegory of the cave #plato #philosophy joke #meme #I'm hilarious btw

[honouredsnakeprincess]

What did Nietzsche say during the heat wave?

Gott, ist hot.

#humor #philosophy joke #neitzsche #pun

[pretensesoup]

Bringing my shtick over here. I realize that the intersection of these two circles is approximately ten people and I know them all.

[ID: Six slides with three green leaves in the corner and an @pretensesoup watermark. Slide one: Things I have told my children because I studied philosophy. Slide 2: I am the panopticon. I govern you so someday you will become self-policing. Slide 3: If one stuffy always tells the truth and the other always lies...What would Barktrand Russell say if I asked if you'd brushed your teeth? Slide 4: Your bicycle is not the trolley problem. You are morally culpable if you run your brother over. Slide 5: Let's examine the differance between roasted veggies and dessert. Slide 6: Life is pain.]

#foucault joke #derrida joke #philippa foote joke #we do have a stuffed dog named barktrand russell in the house #seneca joke #princess bride joke #philosophy joke #parenting joke #parenting philosophy #i forgot to do marx #next time

[mountainmagpie]

I genuinely want to know how one reads Kafka and then comes to the conclusion that the man was a “happy and well adjusted guy.” No hate to the og poster, I just think it’s kind of funny.

#thought it was a joke at first but the replies were funny too #gregor samsa #kafkaesque #Kafka #Franz Kafka #the metamorphosis #the trial #letters to milena #letter to his father #classic literature #absurdism #existentialism #philosophy

[theabigailthorn]

Fallacy of relative privation? Well, there are worse fallacies...

#philosophy jokes

[firestar5318]

What makes something meat or not meat?

#I’m arguing with my gf about protein powder being largely crickets #and therefore being condensed meat #making adding it smoothies and stuff a meat smoothie #and she hates that #but can’t answer my question abt what they are if not meat #this is a joke #vegans pls don’t murder me #meat #philosophy #philosophical #philosophical questions #to meat or not to meat; that is the question #sorry Shakespeare

[yuridovewing]

Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw dynamic to me

#hawkfrost #brambleclaw #the new prophecy #wc #warrior cats #warriors #jokes aside theres a line in mothwings secret i keep thinking about where hawkfrost mentions meeting brambleclaw #and he says ''i guess everyone knows we're both tigerstar's sons. but he was born in the clans so no one worries about HIM'' #with like clearly implied resentment. and also bramble is xenophobic to him in dawn before their relation is revealed #those two quotes make me think that like. i dont think hawk ever liked his brother lol. he has nothing in common with this man #how hawkfrosts rogue status comes before tigerstar being his father. how he'd be a victim of his father's philosophy #whats this guy got any business suddenly claiming that they totally have the same exact trauma

[liliamoon]

Chaotic Teacher Quotes

Because I just finished my degree, I compiled a list of some of my favorite things my professors have said this past semester:

“To shower or not to shower, that is the question.”

“My parents were baby boomers, which means they were on drugs and had sex and that’s how I happened.” “I’m not kidding. That’s true.”

“Ok, how does everyone feel about nostrils?”

“I like to remind my wife that she’s older than me. Every year on my birthday I’m like, oh my god, I’m almost as old as you!”

“That’s the best way to learn: forget and then remember. The only better way is to learn it drunk and then learn it sober. …Grad school is a lot of fun.”

“Is Dungeons & Dragons legit as a religious institution? Let’s discuss.”

“Punxsutawney Phil, the little beaver— not a beaver, the, you know, the marmot, HE DIED. I mean, what does that mean for our weather?? If he sees his shadow it’s six more weeks of winter but WHAT IF HE DIES??”

“We can’t have negative time— if it’s negative, you’re dead. Just like the groundhog.”

“Are we ultimately born of divine incest?”

“This whole thing is complex, very convoluted. But so is my sister, and I still love her.”

“You might ask yourself, what do I do with a big chunk of text? In many cases, the first step is to burn it with fire.”

“This is good information for those of you thinking of starting a cult.”

“I drive a stick-shift, you can’t steal my car. If you look at the thing, you wouldn’t want to, but the point is, you CAN’T.” “It’s got nothing, I almost literally have to go out with a lighter and turn on the headlights myself.”

“Do you think we could rewrite The Lord of the Rings in limerick meter? Potentially a good idea for your finals.”

“Does that freak anyone out? If it doesn’t, you might not be paying attention!!!”

“Here we read that Tiamat and Apsu had ‘mixed their waters together’— I guess that’s what the kids call it these days.”

“You know how in America we’re very vulnerable to British accents?”

“If you know what you’re doing, it’ll take about thirty minutes; if you don’t know what you’re doing, maybe forty; and if you really don’t know what you’re doing, it’ll take five.”

“Cockroaches gonna cockroach, everybody with me?”

“Right now I’m being a pain-in-the-ass materialist.” “You feel? Hold the phone.” “Conscience? What do we do with people who don’t have that? Like me.”

“Who here is familiar with the term ‘shitification’?”

“Academia is like a hospital: if you don’t work there, don’t stick around.”

“I always want you all to walk out of this classroom with a little bit more of the weight of despair on your shoulders.” “Are you feeling it?”

#school #jokes #memes #quotes #teacher quote #out of context quotes #funny #science #science teacher #mythology #classical mythology #literature #teaching quote #philosophy #gen z #high school #College #dark academia #chaotic academia

[waterghostype]

congratulations to geo ninjago for being the first male victim of misogyny

#aphid philosophy #this is a joke… this is a joke like the ryan reynolds tweet the barbie one ok please dont think im serious #i just think it’s so funny how ppl DGAF that hes a gay man #they still hate him for getting in the way of the favorite mlm ship #join nya in the yaoi victim soup

[fizzytrashcan]

#funny stuff #jokes #dank memes #fresh memes #memes #existentialism #philosophy #philosophy memes

[pratchettquotes]

"What's a Zen?" he said.

The Fool's bells tinkled as he sorted through his cards. Without thinking, he said: "Oh, a sub-sect of the Turnwise Klatch philosophical system of Sumtin, noted for its simple austerity and the offer of personal tranquillity and wholeness achieved through meditation and breathing techniques; an interesting aspect is the asking of apparently nonsensical questions in order to widen the doors of perception."

"How's that again?" said the cook suspiciously. [...]

The Fool hesitated with a card in his hand, suppressed his panic and thought quickly.

"I'faith, nuncle," he squeaked, "thou't more full of questions than a martlebury is of mizzensails."

The cook relaxed.

Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

#king verence ii #wyrd sisters #discworld #terry pratchett #court jester #in disguise #philosophy #zen #questions #meditation #jokes #expectations #suspicion #the philosophical system of sumtin #apparently nonsensical questions #mizzensails

[fryandleelasbigfling]

writing fry like a child:

unoriginal

flanderizes his stupidity in the same way as every other flanderized 'stupid' character out there

vaguely ableist

makes his relationship with leela very weird

writing bender like a child:

comically surreal for his species

reframes his egotism in a more funny/compelling/sympathetic way by just having him in a perpetual developmental stunt

somewhat canon compliant (he started the series as a two-year-old)

makes his relationship with fry and leela even funnier

#futurama #philip j fry #bender #obv i dont think bender IS a child but my philosophy for writing him is to imagine him as an attention-seeking teenager w an identity crisi #fry has a lot of developmental issues going on but hes so strongly coded as ND it is so uncomfortable to see the show joke abt him- #-being an actual child and not just a grown man w some childish interests #and also its just not funny lol. sick of 'stupid' characters being written that way #anyway remember bender coloring in fun on a bun. that was adorable

[pointman74250]

“Fuck, it’s hot!”

— Paul “Muad'dib” Atreides

#dune #frank herbert #paul atreides #arrakis #feyd rautha #baron vladimir harkonnen #beast rabban #leto atreides #timothée chalamet #chani #zendaya #denis villeneuve #quote #self quote #qoute #quoteoftheday #self qoute #philosophy #quoteofthenight #funny #quoteofthemorning #humor #fake quotes #lol #geek humor #geek jokes #nerd humor #nerd #paul muad'dib #muaddib