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#fake quotes
opheliablackpotter · 2 days
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How I imagine James' birthdays at Hogwarts:
(read all and bonus to be emotionally destroyed :))
1st year-chill, pleasant evening with the rest of the marauders near the Great lake. They enjoyed throwing empty packages of chocolate frogs at others :D
2nd year-hilarious day he spent by flying on his new broomstick outside and inside of Hogwarts. Not to forget that he flew into dinner in the Great hall while Sirius was setting off the fireworks.
3rd year-mister Potter, now officially a teenager, celebrated this bday by buying things for pranks in Hogsmade and ended up crying in Remus' lap because Lily didn't respond to all his efforts to impress her by annoying Snevilus.
4th year-THIS IS SOMETHING BIG GUYS. First there was big, not allowed Quidditch match and after match party in Gryffindor room because Gryffindor will, of course, win. (at least Dumbledore would think so)
5th year-everyone is worried about Voldy and death eaters. This year he wanted a bit of privacy (BUT not without the rest of the marauders) and they were all day in the Room of requirement . Don't get me wrong, they had nice time, but Remus had heard something about werewolves cooperating with Death Eaters, Pettigrew was either in a panic or telling horrible jokes about house elves and ghosts, and Sirius was off the whole time because he was worried thinking about his little brother. Sirius denied it, but ever since he left him, he feels guilty. Now that Voldy wants new followers and the support of noble houses, maybe something will happen in a few years. Who knows :( ? Of course, the night ended with drinking a little too much firewhisky.
6th year-James spent whole day lying on Regulus' bed and trying to convince Regulus they will find a way to save him from Dark lord.
7th year-he invited some Gryffindor friends to the Three Broomsticks and they talked about Dumbledore and some of the students who don't go to Hogwarts anymore because they are probably Death Eaters. He spent the rest of the night crying over a special and handsome Slytherin who was no longer speaking to him and would soon be leaving Hogwarts.
*bonus: the day Reggie left, James was like a ghost. He was white, with a blank expression on his face. He tried not to stare too long at Sirius's dark curls and features. He spent that night in the Astronomical Tower, crying, calling out and looking only at one star.
The one star he, the greatest Gryffindor seeker, will never reach.
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caligosatchel · 4 months
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Jon: CEASELESS WATCHER-
Martin: Come on, Jon. It's just a bug.
Jon: I know and I'm scared. CEA-
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damiianismwayne · 6 months
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damian: what did you draw
dick: a dog and he's bored.
dick: what did you draw?
damian: a stick.
dick: a stick?
damian: a stick from the park WHERE YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY
dick: name a country beginning with V :)
jason: venezuela!
tim: vinland-
dick: huh??
jason: vinland?
tim: vinland
jason: OH MY DAYS! LOW IT! DONT CHAT TO ME! YOU SAID WHAT-
tim: i said vinland...
jason: VINLAND?!
jason: YOURE ON SOME JOKE TING
tim: he said F blud!
jason: whatchu said-
dick: 'V'!
jason: V.
tim: venus!
jason and dick:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dick: fuck you. I HOPE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY HAS A NICE CHRISTMAS.
jason: i'm sorry, but i just cant support the existence of white people. thats not right.
damian: oh really? whats that.
tim:
jason: an exception.
damian: would you... still... love me.. if i was ga-
bruce: hm? if what?
damian: no that was the question-
dick: what did you get tim for his birthday?
jason: i got him a kitten.
dick: really?! me too!
stephanie: i also got him a cat!
duke: looks like we had the same idea!
jason: duke, please... tell me you didnt get tim a cat as well..
bruce: i got him... a kitten.
tim with the 5 cats around his room: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER
dick: i'm also dressed, and- i made BREAKFAST.
dick: wait, where are my eggs-
damian: in my belly.
tim: why do you have a jojo siwa backpack?
damian: why are you such a fucking bitch.
tim: jesus fuck...
criminal running away from batman:
tim: look at this guy runnin.
tim: tf you runnin for?
tim: somebody chasin' u or something??
tim: ...
tim: OH FUCK WE CHASIN HIM-
damian: sis is this you right here in this alley?
jason: sister if you see a bitch in the alleyway with a dome-shaped red helmet over his head that is NOT me. GO. THE. OTHER. WAY.
joker as red hood:
damian: who is thissss-
dick: those are my favorite roast potatoes :)
jason: ill have you know...
jason: dick grayson.
jason: that those are actually MY favorite roast potatoes.
jason: so ill let ya off easy this time, dick grayson.
jason: with just this lil warnin.
jason: they cant be both our favorites, now, can they?
batman: what the-
terry: im batman. i need you to come with me
batman: who the heck are you?
terry: i just told you- listen. im from the future.
batman: how dare you point at me?
terry: you were pointing first
batman: rude to point.
terry: YOU ARE BEING VERY RUDE YOURE NOT EVEN FROM-
dick: which one pointed first?
damian: batman pointed first! obviously!
terry: YOURE POINTING AT ME RIGHT NOW!
batman: youre pointing.
terry: LOOK AT YOUR FINGER. LOOK AT YOUR FINGER RIGHT NOW-
batman: its different from normal pointing.
terry: YOURE ACCUSING ME OF POINTING WHY-
jason: alr important question for our friendship. when you go to the movie theatre do you ask for extra butter or regular butter? or no butter?
dick: i put skittles. not skittles- m&ms with the popcorn
jason: alr im gonna remove richard from this call-
dick: HOLD ON PLEA-
jason: something devilish has been brewing within me for years on end that will only escape through the means of physical violence.
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mykinkyyandere · 1 year
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Naive reader wants to sit on Five's face but she's embarrased to ask him?
AO3
Warnings: yandere, (forced) age regressed reader, kidnapped reader, daddy kink, dub-con, grown-up Five
You: *looking at his lying body on the bed*
Five: *looking at your drawing but can still see you* What is it, princess?
You: Uh! Huh?
Five: You can't take your eyes off me, do you want something?
You: Uhm... N-no!
Five: *looks at you* Oww, you're needy. I know that face and that tone.
You: ...
Five: *Sits on the bed* What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything. You can ask for... anything.
You: I-I...
Five: Sit on my lap, princess. I'll teach you that you can ask daddy anything.
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zukkaflowers · 6 months
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zuko: i just wanna be the one to make him smile
katara: yesterday sokka smiled because a child fell face first into the snow
aang, trying to be helpful: so maybe try that!
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trashworldblog · 1 year
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ryan's intro to Goncharov (1973)
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Unsolved: The Goncharov Hysteria
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auronstory · 6 months
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grannypantysupremacy · 2 months
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Obi-Wan, negotiating the terms of his affair with Anakin: We have to be discreet. I need to know you can keep a secret. Anakin, murderer of an entire Tusken village: You'd be surprised how good I am at that, actually.
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"You think I'm scared of a man wearing a potato sack for a mask?"
-Damian Wayne (probably)
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Incorrect Quotes #2
House: From now on we'll be using codenames. You can address me as 'Eagle one'.
House: Cameron is 'been there done that',
*Cameron rolls her eyes*
House: Cuddy is 'currently doing that',
*They high five*
House: Y/n is 'it happened once in a dream',
*y/n glares at him*
House: Chase is 'if I had to pick a dude',
*Chase is flattered*
House: Wilson is...'Eagle two'.
Wilson: Oh thank god.
---
Masterlist
REQUESTS OPEN - request here
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san-fics · 1 year
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mykinkyyandere · 2 years
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another conversation between five and darling?
AO3
You: BEN!
Five: *catches you running to him and lifts you up* Stay away from him, he's NOT Ben.
You: *throwing random kicks* Put me down, Ben help me!
Ben: *dark smile* I liked her.
Five: *death stares* Don't. you. dare.
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zukkaflowers · 6 months
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sokka: so imagine you’re about to kill a turtleduck
zuko, suspicious: okay…
sokka: 😐 wtf is wrong with you why would you imagine that
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incorrectp1h · 1 year
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Soul: i'm sick and tired of being called a 'mortal' like, you don't know that. neither do i. i have never died even once! nothing has been proven yet. stop making assumptions. it's rude
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