#otherwise you end up with shit like this and OTHER GIRLS BEGIN TO FEEL BAD TOO

[farfaras]

Part 2.

What if Eddie moved on from thinking Steve and Nancy should get back together when Jonathan came back and saw how they’re actually destined to be together even tho they still have shit to figure out.

I know it’s a popular hc that Eddie and Robin clock each other immediately BUT I still think that as two queer kids in a small backwards town they’re more worried about no one finding out about them so they wouldn’t notice someone else. So worried about themselves that they (like straight people) also fall into the mindset of ‘everyone is straight until proven otherwise’.

What’s the result of this? Eddie seeing how close Robin and Steve are and thinking there must be something there. And because Steve is a little more affectionate than Robin, now Eddie thinks he’s pining after her.

“Why aren’t you and Robin together?”

“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend.”

“I don’t buy it.”

So now Steve has to put up with Eddie constantly going on about how Steve should just ask her out already, what’s he waiting for, she probably likes him back.

It bothers Steve to no end. He wished society had advanced enough to realize that men and women can be platonic friends without having to explain themselves.

A nightmare.

And Steve would never out Robin, so telling him the truth wasn’t an option. And he really wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now, so that was out of the question. What could he do to get Eddie to understand that him and Robin would never happen?

Then he remembered. It seemed so distant but Steve actually tried to tell Robin he liked her once. It was kinda embarrassing to think about now, specially because he saw Robin as nothing more than a friend now. He couldn’t even remember what having a crush on her ever felt like. And maybe he never even had one, shitty friends and shitty parents maybe warped his perception and then he couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. Well, that was for another day. He could tell the difference now. He thinks.

He could just tell Eddie about that moment in starcourt. He would just leave out the part about Robin having absolutely bad taste in girls. Foolproof. Eddie would leave it alone now.

“What? She just rejected you and then you decided to become her best friend?” He looked surprised, like the idea was impossible to understand.

“And I don’t regret it. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re crazy.” Steve didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie looked at him and his expression was hard to read. “You’re telling me that after being rejected you didn’t need time away? Just jumped to being a platonic friend? Despite your feelings?” He scoffed. “I could never do that.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now I know you’re lying. You still like her?”

Steve really tried to convince Eddie that he didn’t like Robin anymore. But no matter what he would say he didn’t believe him.

So Steve gave up.

Now he goes along with it. It’s easier. It stopped Eddie from trying to set them up or whatever.

Except it didn’t.

Now Eddie came up with the absolute great idea of making her jealous. Which was so so ridiculous Steve had to hold back laughter. He didn’t mention how much Robin had heard about past dates. This was beginning to amuse him just a little bit.

“How would I even do that?” Steve asked, curious as to what Eddie would come up with.

“You know? Let me think about this.” He made a show of putting his hand on his chin, contemplating. “Show up at work with some marks on you neck. You know, see how she reacts to that knowledge.” Steve knows how Robin reacts to that. Before Vecna, on his endless quest to find ‘the one’ (what a waste) he had some hookups. One time he went into work with one or two hickeys on his neck. Robin wouldn’t even bat her eyes, just would ask ‘who was it now?’ and then ask if he would see her again. The answer was no. Eddie didn’t know this.

“Yeah well, I really don’t feel like going on a date and hooking up with someone just to use it to bait a reaction. Seems kinda cruel to the other person.” Steve thinks that should be enough to shut this idea down.

“Huh. Maybe you’re better than me because I didn’t even think about that.”

Steve doesn’t reply, just snorts. And he thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. There’s nothing else Eddie can really do or come up with. Right?

Wrong.

“I could do it.” Did Steve hear that right? Huh?

“What?” Steve asked.

“Give you a hickey. It’s no big deal, really.”

If you asked Steve why he said yes. Man, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He really doesn’t know! It’s like someone possessed him and he was moving his mouth, but it wasn’t him. Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it fast enough that would convince Eddie.

They were both sitting on the couch so Eddie just leaned in and started on a spot on the left side of his neck. Steve’s hand instinctively moved to the back of Eddie’s head. One wouldn’t think so based on its appearance but Eddie’s hair was surprisingly soft.

Suddenly there were teeth scraping his neck. Steve let out a noise that he hadn’t heard before. He accidentally pulled a little on Eddie’s hair, he was gonna apologize but Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he just hummed.

“Did you just bite me?”

Eddie pulled back and sneered. “Sorry. I let my impulsive thoughts win.” What does that even mean?

Steve was gonna ask if that did it but then Eddie moved to his lap, straddling him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the other side?” Makes sense? Honestly his mind was getting a little mushy and was only focusing on Eddie’s weight on him. When Eddie leaned in again, Steve’s hands traveled to rest on his hips. Eddie’s on his shoulders to have leverage, his hips hovering now.

Steve tipped his head back to give him a little more space. With more space Eddie seemed to be satisfied with that spot and moved lower, however this next one was sensitive to Steve, he’s always known that. He was gonna say so but he couldn’t, Eddie was already on it. He let out a breathy sound and gripped Eddie’s hips tighter making him slam back on his lap. He thinks Eddie moaned, he’s not sure tho. “Sorry.” He muttered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy this.

He did.

Maybe he should put a stop to it.

He hasn’t so far.

It went on a little longer. Some hands wandering. Some sounds uttered. Minds getting floaty.

He knew it was coming to an end when Eddie started leaving kisses to soothe the spots, he trailed until he got to his ear. Which he actually licked. It was probably to make a joke but it only made Steve shiver.

“I think you’re done.” Eddie said. He hesitated a second before climbing off his lap.

Steve knew he looked winded. Eddie tried to look casual but he’s known him for a while and could see that it was feigned casualness.

“Uh. Good.” Lame. Steve is lame.

Mike Wheeler was right because Steve Harrington is lame.

How is he gonna explain this to Robin?

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie x steve #stranger things s4 #stranger things #stranger things 4 #steve harrington x eddie munson #I was looking at a burn my flat iron left on my neck #thought it looked like a hickey #then I thought about steddie and hickeys #because of course #my hyperfixation is stronger than ever #every thought I connect to steddie #and then this happened #this is more crack than anything #me thinks #crack #english is my second language #wait guys #they don’t even know they like each other yet #and they do this shit #mer writes sometimes #ficlet #headcanon

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen, y/n talks abt being compared to her sister, family tension, food/eating mention, lowkey survivors guilt going on

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER FIFTEEN -> LIKE IT USED TO BE (partially written, wc: 898)

"Oh good, you're not dead yet," Han speaks a bit loudly into the phone and you move it away from your face slightly.

The bright screen has your eyes straining in the otherwise dark room, tucked under a plush comforter from your childhood. It's amazing it's still in good condition considering how old it is, but your bed squeaks under you to remind you of the age of this room full of old memories. On the night stand next to you is a framed photo of you with your family, your mom and dad standing behind you and another little girl, slightly taller than you; your sister. You lean over and put the frame face down.

"Still alive, barely," you reply with a sigh. "Why'd you assume I'm having a bad time?"

"Let me think," he puts a finger to his bottom lip in fake concentration. "'How am I supposed to last four more days'... doesn't exactly sound like someone having a good time."

"You caught me, but I swear it's nothing." A lie. "Nothing interesting." A truth; is your family drama really worth talking about? "How's the apartment?"

"Fine. We've started to try and befriend the guy down the hall, Seungmin? Maybe you've run into him?" You shake your head. "Minho seems to get along with him the best. I think it's because they both act unwelcoming to strangers."

This makes you snort. The two of you continue to talk and laugh, the cats making an appearance at one point with Minho, who gives you a short wave, and you don't realize how late it's getting until your eyes catch the time briefly; 3:08AM. Shit. How loud have you been? You freeze when you hear a door open, muting Jisung on the other end and flipping your phone over. Your door opens.

"What are you doing up so late? Don't you know what time it is?" Your sister groans. "And you're being kind of loud, mind keeping it down a bit? Who're you even talking to?"

"No one," you say too quickly, internally cringing at yourself. "Sorry. I'm going to bed soon."

"You're lucky it was me and not mom who walked in here," she says with a sort of laugh. "She would have screamed her head off and taken your phone, despite being an adult now."

You sit up. "Yeah."

"She really fucked us up a bit, huh?" She sits next to you hesitantly when you don't reply. "Maybe we'd be closer now."

"Hyo-"

"I'm sorry," she stands suddenly. "I shouldn't be saying all this. Forget this, please." Your older sister stands in the doorway, eyes pleading. "Don't mention this to anyone, okay?"

"Okay," you whisper, knowing damn well Jisung heard every word.

As you listen to her footsteps fade, you learn to breath again, flipping your phone back over and unmuting Han. When he notices you're back, he says nothing, fiddling with the string on the hoodie he wears.

"You-"

"It's okay-" You speak at the same time and laugh, breaking the newfound tension. He continues. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but I guess this is what you meant by complicated?"

You pout, eyes beginning to sting. When you speak, your voice breaks a little. "Yeah, I mean, it's hard, you know? All my life I've been compared to Hyo by my mother and teachers and even my friends. Like, I have to be her instead of myself, and she never once stepped in to protect me from all that like a big sister is supposed to. Never heard her stand up for me when it was happening right in front of her, no moment of 'hey, let my little sister be who she wants, you already have one of me'. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore. I'm rambling, sorry."

"No, it's okay," Han reassures you.

"We used to be close when we were young," you speak into the space he's left you. "Then as we got older, we drifted. We're only a few years apart, but she always acted so much better than me once we hit a certain age. She said hurtful things to me a lot, and I'm sure I said equally awful things back." A tear falls onto your blanket and you sniff, looking up to your ceiling where a poster of a boy band is pinned to prevent more from falling. "I want my sister back, but... I think there's too much pain."

"Oh Y/nnie," Han gives you a sad look. "I wish I could hug you right now."

"I'm just saying stupid stuff now, I should sleep." You've overshared and want out of this conversation ASAP. "Goodnight Han, sleep well."

He's about to protest when you hang up, moving your phone next to the frame to charge. For a while you lay there, staring at your ceiling with a heavy weight on your chest. You've never fully talked to someone about the way your upbringing made you feel or the way it still affects you. There's still a scared little girl inside of you, shying away from hands that want to hold you, comfort you. Because what if it's all a lie? What if they all leave you, like Hwa? Or like... like him?

You glance over to the frame again, not having it in you to flip it back up.

notes -> me vs y/ns mother rn- who do we think this "him" is referring to? and what happened? will hyunjin and y/n make up?

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @skzstaykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @multifandomedsimp @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee @judeduartewannabe @gaysontheprince @stepout-09-15 @splat00z

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

#-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143 #stray kids smau #skz smau #non idol au #stray kids #skz #lee know #lee know smau #lee minho smau #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #lee know x fem reader #lee minho x fem reader #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #smau #social media au

[wandasaura]

how do little dove wanda and nat react to r being a brat

˚⋆｡°౨ৎ wanda snips it in the butt the second she sees you start up. she’s not as understanding as natasha is, and she expects you to treat her with respect at all times, you’re her sweet little dove for a reason, she doesn’t give bratty girls that title. that being said, she also understand that you’re going to have bad days, and when you do, she gives you grace just like you give her. but when you’re just acting bratty because you feel like it, or more specifically because you want attention, she’ll go about it in two ways. the first way is more direct, and usually when you’re mouthing off. she’ll grab your jaw in a bruising grip, her light eyes hardened and dull of the usual affection she looks at you with. her own jaw is clenched, her eyebrows furrowed. “don’t start now, this isn’t going to end the way you want it to, i can promise you that.” she doesn’t let her grip lesson until you give her some kind of confirmation that you understand, and once you’ve done that, she’ll mock you in the sweetest voice that makes your head spin, “dumb little dove.” now, if she catches you rolling your eyes or mocking her or natasha, sometimes she’ll confront it, tell you to watch yourself or fix your attitude and remember whose in charge, but other times she’ll ignore it to be dealt with later. you always think you’ve won, and pulled something over her, but she reminds you that she sees everything later on when you’re beginning to cum, or to touch her or natasha, because she absolutely loves ro make you watch as she goes down on her while you’re not even allowed to touch yourself, but she just shakes her head and laughs, “not so big and bad now, are you? begging for mommy to make you cum. maybe tomorrow.” that usually straightens you out for the foreseeable future. ౨ৎ °｡⋆˚

˚⋆｡°౨ৎ natasha let’s you get away with more then wanda does, that’s no secret within not only your sexual dynamic, but in your romantic one as well. she’s more likely to go back at you with a sarcastic comeback, or flick your head when she catches you rolling your eyes, a teasing smirk on her lips when you gasp and scowl at her. she finds it funny, a game to be won. she likes her women feisty, she wouldn’t have gotten with wanda all those years ago if she didn’t, but there is a line she draws when she not in the mood to put up with your shit, and the thrill exhilarates you when you find yourself in one of those days. that’s when you find yourself over her lap, thighs dripping with your slick but otherwise untouched, crying and pleading at the same time. she breaks you down to a babbling mess, and works you up to a glorious high. “just needed daddy’s attention, huh? should’ve just asked, didn’t have to be such a brat.” ౨ৎ °｡⋆˚

#minors dni ৎ୭ #w: asks #n: asks #ld: asks #series: little dove #answered. #𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 ꔫ

[titansontop]

i couldnt reply before but here it is. Long asf.

@raven-harlot

What a convenient way to forget Nightwing's arc with the Titans, written by Taylor a few months ago, the beginning of his Titans. Where raven wasn't at all "just Gar's gf", right? Raven did things on her own, she wasn't there just to be with Gar, she had moments, she had a leading role, she had a role in the arc that was much more than just being Gar's girlfriend, did you forget all that? Raven having action, Raven showing her best qualities with Olivia…She was the best and more interesting character of that arc without doubts. And even though she was with Gar there, it was never like she was stuck to him, was it?… While Raven had a second leader role in this arc, what happened with Gar? Nothing (he wasnt there just as Raven's boyfriend tho).

Do you remember TT Academy? Where Gar was doing exactly what Raven is doing now? Being a moral support for her partner? (oh no! A couple that helps and supports each other!😨😟) I bet at that moment you didn't think that Gar was "just Raven's bf", no, I bet you were saying something like "they made Raven Weak! Raven doesn't need a man!" Blah, blah, blah.

Traumas? What traumas? You know damn well that the only reason we're seeing Gar's trauma is because of what happened in Dark Crisis; otherwise we wouldn't see shit about his trauma, just like we won't see the other Titans' traumas.

Do you know what character progression is? Something Raven went through under Wolfman's writing? Do you remember how she tried to have relationships back then? how she tried to love, right? Raven has been free of Trigon for years, stop the cap, she can express her emotions without problems since the 80s.

Stop the cycle, do you want Raven to be some kind of Redhood going through the same arc over and over again?

Do you want Raven to be exactly like she was 40 years ago in the damn 80s, when she debuted as an 18-year-old woman who didn't even have friends and couldn't express her emotions?? Holy character regression!

If you say that Raven is unrecognizable and a totally different character (if that makes you feel better, keep pretending that, I guess) then just stop reading the comics…easy, that easy.

Did you start reading a Gar comic, where Raven was only going to be a character in a supporting role because the comic focuses on Gar and only Gar, hoping that she wouldn't be a character in a supporting role? The joke tells itself. Did you want her to be the protagonist of Gar's comic? And don't say she's just Gar's girlfriend and nothing more when she literally had her own comic where Gar WASN'T there, no matter how bad it was, it was a comic of her, about her, with a story for her, Gar wasn't there(i bet you got maddd when Raven talked about him tho{1 line in a 30 pages comic, before you even say anything lmao}).

Before this new Titans comic what did Gar have? Nothing at all. Raven instead? She had the storyline of Unkindness, she had some small roles in that same storyline in TTA and Shazam(where she was also given some respect), she had an important role in Dark Crisis: The Deadly Green, and it didn't end there, she also had a big fight with The Spectre. Gar at the event, meanwhile, was only being used as motivation for Dick and nothing else (0 scenes of Gar with Raven or Cyborg even when they are the characters that should have been with him). (And not to mention the Titans United comics, those are not from the main earth, but Raven had a big role in the second one, and in none of them was she "just Gar's gf", i wasnt a big fan tho).

Oh and let's not forget the comic where once again Raven crossed paths with Trigon, and it wasn't the best thing in the world, but Gar wasn't there… she literally got a mini story for herself there in that Lazarus Planet tie-in, while Gar at that time only had the back up from Action Comics with Power Girl, where they once again ignored Raven and Victor and used Dick.

And there was also Knight Terrors: Titans, where once again, Raven wasnt there as "just Gar's gf".

Umm, no, just because a writer doesn't give focus to the character you want it means it is misogyny😂. There are 4 issues that don't focus on Raven, so he hates women? 😂, let's completely forget how he even put Donna in the role of leader in that mission(not much but is more than what she got in the last 3 years). They are setting up Beast World, of course they will focus on Gar. And even then, let's look at who's been focused on so far: Dick(who is Taylor's favorite and is being pushed by editorial as a super leader), Gar(who is being set up for something bigger) and Wally(who is part of a semi-plot from the comic). Vic isn't getting that much focus either, I guess that makes Taylor racist, right?… Don't worry, more moments will come for them, I repeat, ITS 4 ISSUES IN. Even Taylor has said that Kori will have more prominence in the next issues.

Do you remember the little arc with the Brotherhood of Evil and Madame Rogue?…who was the lead and who was in a supporting role?…oh yeah! Gar was the main character while the others were mostly sidelined… And that was by Wolfman and Pérez…

About the part of Taylor not knowing how to write women, Taylor isnt a perfect writer for sure, im not saying he is, and he isn't Gail Simone, he misses too, but yk one of his most acclaimed comics from marvel is a comic about a female character(X-23), right? Lol.

You say Taylor doesn't understand her, yet, he is probably writing the best version of Raven since Wolfman in the 80s. He clearly understand this character, and its funny that you pretend he doesnt. Cant even imagine how you reacted to Teen Titans Rebirth Raven🥴.

We both know that if Raven had these scenes she is having with Gar, with Donna or Kori instead, you wouldn't be saying shit. If Raven was saying "i love you" to Kori, or Donna, you wouldn't be saying shit…that's the funny part about this LMAO. You know your account isn't private, right? How do you expect someone to take your "raven cant express her emotions!!" seriously when we can see what you post? (And we can also read the comics...)

You aren't mad because Taylor doesn't understand Raven, you are mad here because Taylor isn't writing what YOU want.

Raven isnt the same character she was 40 years ago, just like Gar isnt, or just like Batman isnt the same character he was in the 80s or the 60s. Its called character progression(well, Bruce is in a deep whole right now lol). Raven has long passed her days of not being able to express her emotions, but you are saying she should go back to square 1?…

So yeah, I proved Raven in the past years has had more going on that just being Gar's gf. Raven by Tom Taylor has as well been more than "just Gar's supportive gf". And seriously, you were so mad about this that you made 3 posts complaining the same day lmao. You don't like it? STOP. READING. IT instead of reading it just to complain like a damn baby.

All that said, do you think i dont want more solo stuff for Raven?? Its really a shame Howard dropped the ball so hard with that story, a solo story of Raven that will barely mean anything at the end…

And…I dont know, how else would i find out about Raven's new content in this site?…

(seriously tho, you are in the tags, i could just ignore it, just as you could ignore the comics you dont like, but this time i decided i was gonna reply to such a dumb post).

#garfield logan #raven #beast boy and raven #beast boy #raven roth #dc comics #Titans

[punkpandapatrixk]

The Kind of Sad You Can’t Understand

Certain days I feel very deeply that I want to cry but I don’t know why.

For such a long time I lived with this kind of mood without being able to express it anywhere, not to anyone. I was struggling for my sanity; I was constantly thinking of destroying myself; and I was hoping someone would see me, and rush to save me. But nobody ever saw that of me.

I was a badass. I was a cool girl. I seemed to everybody else a smart, talented, expensive girl who's got all her shit together. Even on days she wasn't all that together, she had an enviable life anyway. I appeared on the outside too glamorous for anybody to even imagine that on the inside I was rotting. I was this close to being dead, all the time.

Who in their simple-mindedness would've thought a girl like that could be so macabre all the time? And that’s how I experienced an entire life witnessing people’s lack of empathy. I guess my point of view was fragmented but that was how life was for me anyway. Ironically, some intuitive peeps who were able to see the macabre in me thought I was frightening more than anything HAHAHAH That was all the same in the end. Enough with the gossips. I don’t know what normal people expect from everybody else they meet, to be honest. I don’t know what I’d expected from them either.

I guess it’s because the society I grew up in was like that that I couldn’t bring myself to show anybody my distress. Trauma. Mental illness. Disordered personality. All of that was nothing but insanity. And insane people don’t belong in society.

So simple. Yet so cruel.

Thank you, Jesus. Mother Mary. Catholic Church. Thanks for all the rejection. I’m SO happy now!

That’s fucking twisted.

In a society brimming with nothing but pretenders, we meet and chit and chat and act like all of our troubles are manageable to say the least. ‘Yeah, it’s not that bad, to be honest.' But it was; you've just got to pose real strong otherwise people think you're a loser. 'I guess I’m OK.’ But you weren't; you've just got to really make it sound like you're still keeping it together. 'I'll be just fine.' But you wouldn't know; you didn't even know if you'd still wanna be alive tomorrow.

In the midst of all those meaningless exchanges, I hated quite nothing more than to hear, especially from men, how strong I was as a woman. I hated it like I'd never hated anything in my life.

It was suffocating to be seen as holding it together when you were literally breaking at the seams...

I wanted someone to be able to notice I was screaming on the inside. That I was gasping for air every second I was sitting there listening to their trivial chitter chatter. Who cares about your silly drama? Would you care for mine if you knew my life was on the line? And I hated those expectant eyes. All of them. Were they expecting me to share in their self-made woes and console them in the end? HAH. Go to hell, losers.

I always thought, none of MY problems were created by my own reckless behaviours that would've obviously hurt myself or others. Not in the beginning, at least. Unlike some idiots, I was never into drugs, one night stands, or even smoking; I never caused anybody any trouble. So why did everybody cause me trouble when all I wanted was just a peaceful, normal life? Shit, what even was my IDEA of a normal life? I can't remember now.

Certain days I feel very deeply that I want to cry but I don’t know why. There's always not enough reason to do so now. Haah... If it weren't for my abundance of Aquarius, which makes me incredibly lazy and antisocial, I'd have paraded around town and rallied to become a Neo Hitler and kill everybody in this rotten world. I hated this world so much.

The first ever PAC I put out here was ‘What’s Your Crazy?’ What ever was my reason for writing that? I was crazy and I needed some explanation.

I used to look like the girl in the third pic before I chopped all of my hair off everyone began to suspect I was gay. I wasn’t gay; I was depressed. Those unassuming idiots.

#Punk Panda Thoughts #journalling #my story #my diary #thoughts #sad thoughts #spilled thoughts #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #lilith #venus #scorpio #nana osaki #red aesthetic #grunge #punk #youth #mental health #writerslife #writblr

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

My avatar tla hot take ACTUALLY UNPOPULAR and not just minority opinion is that Azula is a terrible addition to the series. On her own? Oh, her character was great, complex, etc. She is a queen, a great diva, wonderful villain, interesting, deserved a great redemption too (She is 14! A baby!) etc. She just would have suited a magic girl show, a horror movie (in the typical scary, powerful little girl fashion), or a darker, more mature show with more characters like her, meaning child prodigies, better.

Combined with the rest of the atlab story? Kinda makes me laugh. She is such a ridiculous addition that makes it obvious this is a kids’ show. When I first watched the show, Zuko's father and the fact he had branded him was such a serious “oh shit” moment. Like, that is a father whose expectations are truly ridiculously high. It was scary. I mean who could meet them?

Zuko, whether a villain or an anti-hero, was a special, unique character the first few episodes because he was intimately acquainted with the scary main villain in a way no one was.

Then comes Azula. Come at me to debunk me (I may not even try to argue because this is such a weird opinion in the fandom, for real I haven't heard it) but she feels like a writer self-insert. Not a little kid’s writer self-insert, mind you, she feels like a well-written, dark, and complex self-insert or oc written by a talented fic writer in her 30s with years of experience that may become an original writer someday, but an oc nonetheless.

Azula feels like “oh, Zuko could never live up to his evil father’s ideals? Oh here comes my oc Azula, despite being 2 years younger she is soo much better at firebending and does everything better, even being evil, she is the main villain’s golden child and sidekick! And the sister of the main antagonist who interacts with him constantly!” (oh isn't that so cool?) “oh shit wait she needs flaws otherwise she is a villain Sue, let's see.… perfectionism! Perfect flaw! and at the very end after needing a 2 against 1 setting to be defeated she has a mental breakdown, perfect!”

“But gifted children and prodigies exist!!” you may say. Yesss I knowww. She is both too dark of a concept and too corny for atla. I see the flaws and contradictions in the ~vibes~ Azula gives me, thank you anyway. But regardless of rationally being aware of this, the reveal that this powerful character that comes to replace Zuko in causing the gaang trouble (Because let's face it, the beginning of Zuko's redemption arc and needing an even bigger bad to replace him and shock the viewers by how much more dangerous/powerful they are is the whole reason for Azula’s existence) is his 14-year-old LITTLE sister is so… dorky and laughable for me personally. And not only because of her gender in case you come to attack me from that angle. Zuko's prodigy little brother would perhaps have been an even worse and more ridiculous big bad replacement (Girls being shorter is understandable, but with a little brother we would visually see how much Zuko would be able to beat him if this weren't a kids’ show with magic, it would be even harder to suspend my disbelief to). Like, I am sure the reasons I hate the concept are the very same reasons some others love it, but you are telling me that the one capable of fulfilling the evil child burner father's expectations is… simply some rando younger child? It is not that Ozai was a freak who wanted the impossible, it is just that Zuko wasn't it. It is corny, it is dumb. It is so obviously meant for kids. Thanks, I hate it.

Azula also combines in a very weird and bizarre way with Zuko's tragic origin story (Also it is just another source of angst that is completely unnecessary, that distracts from what his father did to him and never living up to his expectations or being too compassionate for his own good, now there is a little sibling in the way being better than him at everything). Call me crazy, but Zuko as an only child, or at least a child without crazy op YOUNGER siblings would have had a MUCH more interesting relationship with his father. Perhaps an even ANGSTIER and more complex relationship where his approval is just within reach but also not quite there. Where it seems conceivable and yet out of reach. Where Ozai is the type of abuser who gives him praise when he does something right just to tear him down mercilessly when he doesn't.

What Zuko has in canon with Ozai and Azula is also interesting, painful, and angsty, but it is “never be able to be this other random younger child who happens to be a prodigy so what is even the point of trying when dad always reminds me of how meh I am compared to her” instead of “never be able to be like my father who is putting all his hopes and that of his empire on me, who at times seems to care so much”. That last one is much more compelling for me personally for a character that ends up being the opposite of his father and learns being like him is not a good thing, it also gives Zuko a good, believable reason to keep trying to please his father: there is actually a chance, there is no one there who has already won the race. Oh my, his search for the Avatar would have made so much more sense without Azula why does Azuka exist in this universe whyy 😭

Don't get me wrong, the sibling rivalry and abusers putting children against each other, having a golden child and a scapegoat, is realistic in many families, but from a storytelling perspective I find it VERY whatever, MEH. Like, the moment Ozai burns Zuko would have been a much greater instance of utter betrayal and shock if Ozai actually acted at times like he had some hope in his son instead of being constantly comparing him to his sister. Now everytime I am made aware of what Ozai did to Zuko I am like “duh” what were you expecting, Zuko, baby? It is still evil as fuck, but no longer shocking or a wtf moment, it is just the boring, edgy and predictable culmination of Ozai already having a “better” child he prefers to succeed him, a total overkill, and in fact, knowing Ozai, he should have done so earlier or straight up had Zuko killed, it makes no sense he is still alive when Azula is a much better successor from his perspective. It means nothing and Zuko should of fing course be traumatized and emotionally and physically distraught by the damage done to him by his own father, but he should not longer logically be that shocked or struck dumb. From a fictional, storytelling perspective, for me personally, the moment loses a tiny bit of its power, at least from the betrayal-someone-who-should-care-for-you—hurting-you—instead aspect.

If I had been there to write the ~big worse bad before Ozai~ meant to replace Zuko as he begins his journey of redemption, I would have chosen something much more serious (I get “abused child soldier” is serious, duh, I just mean serious in a way that makes me fear for the gaang being faced not with a peer but with someone bigger and much more experienced, and not just distract myself with how horrible it is that a “father” makes a 14-year-old girl into a soldier for an invading army). I would have chosen an equally or even more powerful, ADULT, right-hand man (or woman) of Ozai. If it really had to be a sibling of Zuko, it would have been a brother or sister 5 years OLDER, and that is AT THE VERY LEAST, perhaps the son or daughter of a minor wife or concubine (To fix the issue of why they are not the heir and why Zuko could be jealous of their much better skills while at the same time still having a good reason to keep trying to earn their father's approval, which is that there is still time to learn and improve as the younger party, this could have also made Ursa more sympathetic since the “evil” sibling is no longer a child of hers that she emotionally neglected). This could also give the character depth in the sense that they hate the fact they have no claim to the throne despite being older and “better”. They could still care for Zuko while having a love hate relationship with them, a sibling rivalry, Ozai turning them against each other, same as Azula, without taking away from Zuko's interesting relationship with Ozai (I just want his urge to overpower his better sibling to come from a place of his father actually expecting him to do it and be mad he doesn't instead of just Ozai putting all his hopes on the other sibling and Zuko for some plot related reasons still wanting his father's impossible approval despite never being able to earn it because Azula is there, better at a younger age, is that too much to ask? Like at this point Zuko should be smart enough to see that firebending skills are inborn and related to ~fantasy-version-of-genetics~, he should logically have seen it is not his fault and stopped trying to be Ozai or Azula MUCH earlier).

So in summary, believe it or not, I like Azula. I like the whole child prodigy golden child psychologically groomed and abused by evil father angle and I would love a redemption arc for her. I just don't like her AS an atla character. I feel like she does a disservice to Zuko by even existing due to how complex and interesting yet overpowered she is, actually. She ruins his motivations imo. Ironically enough, Zuko does not do a disservice to her, he makes her more interesting because he is a warning of what could happen to her if she is not perfect, he makes her vulnerable. But here is the deal, this would work better if she was the protagonist.

Edit: I just realized it is not just Azula who does a disservice to Zuko's story, it is the whole “Ozai straight up hated the little fucker since birth and tried to kill him before as a child therefore what he did to him was not a consequence of Zuko being compassionate as fuck, Ozai might as well have been looking for an excuse”. It just cheapens it immensely.

Zuko caring for those soldiers still counts just as much (of fucking course), but it would have been more poignant story-wise for his suffering to have also be a direct consequence of his first signs of goodness + his father being an abuser pshyco and not just the latter + Ozai always hated him because Zuko is the good guy and his father’s empire is evil so we need a way to make the children see Zuko is good and not like the rest from the beginning in a painfully simple way by making Ozai inherently hate him or smt because abusers “loving” their children in fucked up ways is too complicated

#atla #atlab #anti azula #not really #this is not about what she does in world or her character but her character combined with that of others #also I had a hard time explaining my issues with her in the overall narrative #avatar the last airbender #this probably sounds written by pre banishment zuko lmao #but I stand by it #the gaang #this is more anti zuko than anything #like baby boy after that burn that should have been the end of his arc #there is no longer a compelling reason for him to keep trying #he just comes across as dumb #azula literally takes away his reason for trying to please his father #I hate the fact she was written in this show #she should have been in another story 😭 #also I know Zuko's actions come from a place of trauma but bitch I am no psychiatrist #I want him to make sense too #atla critical #azula negative #azula critical #but aang is 12 and more powerful than everyone!! #shh he is the avatar #he gets a pass

[phantasmiac]

in which you intern at the endeavor agency to learn the ropes but you learn to love ua student!touya instead

cw/tw: gender neutral reader (referred to as pretty + beautiful), touya has his old personality kinda, death of a relative, making out

wc: 5.4k

a/n: as far as i know shiketsu students don’t do internships in canon but the fantasy must live on. high school sweetheart!touya follow up can be read here.

during the first semester of your first year at shiketsu high, you’re offered an internship at the endeavor agency. you initially approach the offer with skepticism, already familiar with the number two’s notoriety, before coming to the conclusion that you’d have to be a complete idiot to pass up the opportunity. dealing with the stick shoved up endeavor’s ass for a short period of time was a small price to pay for long term success.

it’s through this internship that you meet the famous todoroki touya, in all his high school boy glory. son of the big man himself, one time winner of the ua sports festival; wasn’t so lucky the second time, though you’d think otherwise with the size of his massive ego. you loathe the way he has that stupid smirk plastered on his face 24/7, the way he always he always has some witty comment stored in his pocket. how he always tries starting shit with you, mentioning the ua-shiketsu rivalry like you’re some school patriot or something. of course you would’ve chosen ua over your military boot camp of a school if you had the chance. does he think you enjoy wearing this stupid cap all the time? maybe he should consider transferring since he likes stealing it off your head so much.

you hate the flock of teenage girls and boys he attracts on all your shared patrol routes, it’s fucking distracting. for you, at least, because he somehow always manages to get the job done regardless of all the chaos he’s either ensuing or attracting. it’s infuriating. and fuck do you hate how good looking he actually is. you’re under the impression that you’ve done a good job at maintaining your whole “uninterested” act but he sees right through you.

(“too bad your school has that dating ban shit….”

your eyes widen a bit. you start looking through the file you were reading more quickly and aimlessly to seem a little less attentive towards his words, but you become self conscious of how frantic you must seem and it only makes you feel more embarrassed. you’re avoiding looking at him, but you’re sure he’s revelling in how flustered he’s made you.

“i know there’s charitable people out there who’d be willing to take you out.”

his face meets your folder before he can blink.)

the things you hate about touya are the same things you like about him. he’s a cocky motherfucker, sure, but that also makes him less of a pussy. you’re not exactly a fan favorite at your school. your peers seem to think it unfair that you were born with such a powerful quirk; one that allows you to engulf your entire body in plasma, hot or cold. and some people are born lucky, and others straight up hit the fucking jackpot at birth. you’re not only able to conjure your own plasma, but you can even manipulate any form of it in your vicinity. truthfully, you thought todoroki touya would get in line with those green eyed monsters. he always did have a knack for proving people wrong.

(“i was kind of hopi — i mean thinking, you’d be like….. totally naked, after that. fire proof suit, duh. but that heat was insane. you need to spar me sometime!”)

and can you really complain about him provoking you, as if you don’t love banter? and perhaps his witty comments can be a little funny — when they aren’t directed towards you.

you begin to like todoroki touya a lot more in the middle of the second semester of your second year, on a particularly rainy night in musutafu. you’ve been hard at work all day, and it ends off with a burglar who gives you a harder time than most petty criminals you’ve encountered so far. to make matters worse, the rain has been ongoing all day, which isn’t ideal for either of your quirks. your ears have been cursed with the sounds of touya’s “i’m starving”’s and “when can we go home already”’s for hours. normally you’d jump at the opportunity to tell him off for acting like a baby, but the grumbles of your own stomach aren’t giving you much of a right.

your feet ache from all the running and walking of today’s patrol. your neighborhood is on your current route, so you have the advantage of being able to soon burst through your door and fall face first onto your mattress. touya isn’t so lucky; he’s still a long way from the train station, and he hasn’t even checked when the next train is set to arrive. guilt pools in your stomach when the silhouette of your house comes into view.

if touya’s jealous of you, he doesn’t say. just yawns out an “i’ll see you tomorrow” and waves weakly at you before going on his merry way. as you’re climbing your front steps, something compels you to give him another glance. the sight of his back is only getting smaller and smaller, but you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve just let a stray kitten back out onto the streets.

your head tells you to get your ass inside and bask in some grub and relaxation, but your treacherous heart has other plans. you’re glad he’s focused on the road in front of him, or else he’d see your mental battle getting all weird and physical. you’re twisting and turning and grimacing before you’ve even officially embarrassed yourself, until it’s time to finally throw in the towel and groan in defeat.

“hey!” you yell, a bit louder than necessary (you definitely startled a few neighbors). voice might’ve even cracked, just a tad (he definitely noticed).

touya turns abruptly, an eyebrow raised and hands in his pocket as his eyes scan for some other person you might be croaking at. seeing no one, he gives you his attention.

“do you… maybe wanna come inside? it’s getting really late, and…. if you get into trouble on the way home it won’t be good for you to fight on an empty stomach.”

there is genuine surprise written on his face, the smug look you were expecting nowhere to be found. he thinks it over for a few seconds before responding.

“this your way of finally making a move on me?”

there it is.

“or you can starve. bye!”

“joking! what's for dinner? hey! please!”

your grandma loves touya. gushes over how handsome he is and tells him that tired story of the time she saw endeavor up close and personal.

(“i wouldn’t be standing here today if it weren’t for that man!” every. single. time.)

but touya is a daddy’s boy through and through, maintaining an expression that reads “yup, that’s my dad” through the whole thing. he wolfs down your grandma’s dinner like it’s the best thing he’s ever had the privilege of consuming, and you find that amusing because you’re positive all that pro hero money his dad brings home grants him the finest of meals from the finest of chefs. “i can tell you made this with love,” he tells her. grade-a ass kissing. his flattery makes you want to gag, but it’s nice seeing your grandma all happy. not that she isn’t a naturally cheery old woman, but you know she loves a visitor now and then, and her loser grandchild isn’t doing her any favors. it can get lonely, at times, just the two of you in the house.

and it’s nice seeing this side of touya. it’s like watching him strip himself of his armor. no over the top antics or bravado. you consider that you could be the first person outside of his family to see him this way, but if you think about it for too long, you might trigger your quirk and melt right through the floor, so you keep scrubbing at the dishes to distract yourself, as if you aren’t complete shit at hiding your expressions.

“what are you grinning about?”

so much for beating the heat. your face grows a little hot, but seeing as there’s no radiant light that follows, you assume you’re not having some freak show reaction. and for that you’re grateful, so you decide to indulge him, just this once, shaking your head in an attempt to compose yourself.

you give him a small smile (so much for not blinding him with your light).

“i’m just thinking about how wild it is that todoroki touya is in my house, kicking it with my grandma. i sound like one of your little fans, i know. but it’s true, that you’re like, basically a celebrity.”

as a treat for successfully going 5 seconds without responding like an asshole, you continue.

“i guess being your partner for the past few months made me forget you’re some…. hot shot heir to the todoroki throne or whatever. and so many people have seen your face, know your name, but they don’t really know you. how many lives did i save in my past life to gain the privilege of getting to know someone as delightful as you.”

the last part was an obvious joke; at least you thought it was. but touya is looking at you in such an indecipherable manner that it has you wondering if he took it literally. maybe you freaked him out. my partner was actually my obsessive stalker-fan. that’d make a good story for some magazine when he’s #1.

touya’s lips are slightly parted. he presses them back into a line, chewing on one of his piercings. his grip on the marble counter is tight, and his adam's apple is bobbing up and down like it’s charging up for whatever he’s about to say next.

“so…. so what do you think? of me?”

huh. you never knew he came with a low volume option.

his question catches you off guard. it’s one he’d normally have answered for you already by adjusting the pitch of his voice to mock you and all. he’d probably call himself touya the great or something, and add some kissy sounds at the end for a little pizazz. pass up an opportunity to portray you as utterly infatuated with him? unheard of.

but he doesn’t sound anything like his usual massive headed self when he asks his question, and you feel an eagerness creeping up your throat that makes you think touya’s typical rendition of your character is about to become real accurate.

“i think…. i think you’re….i think you’re pretty cool. and not in the ‘holy shit he’s strong’ way. i mean, yeah, that too, but….” something hits the light switch inside you. “hey did you know you, like, catch fire when you’re excited? they’re just tiny little flames, like, poof!” you motion with your hands.

(if there’s one way to get touya moping, it’s giving him a “boring” patrol route. you’d think having lower crime rates is a bad thing the way he starts to whine about what “little action” he’s gonna get that day. but if there’s any way to raise his spirits, it seems like reminding him that you’ll be tagging along — not like you’ve been his partner for months now or anything — is the most effective. you can’t even bring yourself to berate him for forgetting about you, the way he quite literally flickers blue at the mention of you like he’s wagging some imaginary tail.)

“— but it’s something i’ve noticed. and i’ve seen you cry, a lot, like when you lost the spo — like when you’re frustrated, and stuff.”

(it was late at night the first time you’d seen him all vulnerable. most of the heroes seen throughout the building during the day had head on home, and those who usually took on the night shifts were slowly trickling in. you were appreciating the rare, momentary silence after a particularly long day, under the presumption that you were all alone on the locker room floor. it wasn’t until you were making your own exit — practically skipping to the elevator with your bag flung over your shoulder — that soft sniffles rang through your ears. your glee morphed into concern as you followed the sounds to their source, all the way to a neglected vending machine at the corner of the floor.

your eyes landed on the last person you’d expected, crouched and hidden away. and now instead of concern, awkwardness began filling your limbs and cementing you in place. it wasn’t that you didn’t want to console touya; no, you wanted to be the one to wipe his tears and doubts away. you just thought your pity — or even just the sight of someone witnessing him at his lowest — would infuriate him. maybe he was too proud for a shoulder to lean on.

you’re too busy weighing out your options to notice touya looking up at you with red eyes and a snotty nose. he snaps you out of your thoughts when he asks you how long you’ve been standing there “like a creep”. not long, you tell him, both honestly and anxiously. you’re not sure your heart can handle being genuinely yelled at by him. the building is more than familiar with the sounds of his and enji’s yells coming from the number two’s office, and they’re not pleasant to listen to.

in the end, it doesn’t have to bear that weight. because touya just balls up his fists to rub at his eyes, chuckling about how he’s never able to hold back his stupid crybaby tears. they’re not stupid, you tell him. he just feels things more strongly than others. it’s an admirable trait to have.

touya watches you fish through your bag for some coins before letting it drop to the ground.

“it seems like the pros always talk about their feelings over a drink so….. coke or fanta?”)

“— anyways i know it’s cheesy but it’s encouraged me to be more open with my own emotions, too. and when your siblings visit the agency, it’s sweet, seeing you interact with them. i can tell how much you love them.”

you don’t realize your smile’s only gotten goofier as you visualize the image of him teasing his brother and sister, the flicks he gives them on the forehead like they’re his own little love language.

“oh! and you… you care, i guess? i don’t know if that’s the right way to put it, but you make an effort, you know? like when i give you song recommendations, you actually listen to them; means you’re listening to me, too.”

(it sounds incredibly corny, but loneliness truly has been your best friend since your first year at shiketsu. your classmates have made it very clear that they never want to hear any more than they have to from or about you; every time you’ve dared to cross the line they’ve drawn, you’ve been met with daggers for gazes and cold shoulders. touya’s naturally confused when you visibly shrink the moment your rambles get a little too passionate. a small pout forms on his face at the dimming of the twinkle in your eyes. but it can’t possibly compare to the confusion you feel when you see him the next day, and he’s suddenly stocked on knowledge about whatever the hell you were talking about yesterday. the gatekeeper in you is a little offended, but the wallflower is tinted pink.)

“and since i’m being so honest, fine, you have some good jokes, sometimes. you’re nice to talk to when you’re not being a complete pain in the ass.” a lovesick sigh escapes you. “yeah. i think you’re a really cool guy.”

your fingers are all pruny from the way you’ve been dragging the washing of the dishes. the crickets outside are having a field day and you can hear the soap foam pop and crackle. it’s quiet. touya is quiet, and he has been for awhile now. the sponge drops out of your hand along with your stomach at the realization.

you turn to him, quickly scrambling for words to apologize for word vomiting all over him, only to find him looking at you with a haze cast over his stupidly pretty eyes, in a way that disables you from your impromptu plan of punching him on the shoulder and calling him bro or some other friendly term of endearment. you’re not exactly the romance connoisseur or anything but that is not the look of a “bro”. that is the look of a teenage boy who is about to shut his eyes way too early, pucker his lips, and lean in at an obscenely slow rate.

that’s not how it happens, though. who do you take him for? some amateur? (he’s not. he’s a hot dude, sue him. not like any of those times mattered the way this does.)

the hand he places on your waist has electricity whipping up and down your spine, and your feet slipping under you. your hands plant themselves on his chest to avoid falling on your ass, but his tightening grip has already guaranteed your safety. now you’ve only found yourself even closer to him, and he takes the opportunity to cup the back of your neck and pull you forward. your eyes clam shut in anticipation. but the sensation of his lips on yours doesn’t arrive as quickly as you imagined. your nose brushes against the cool metal pierced through his own as his breath fans against your lips. time has stilled; he’s giving you a chance to pull away.

flusterment turns into frustration. the part of you that “hates” todoroki touya wants to bonk him on the head and call him a dumbass. have you not made yourself clear? you huff before moving your hands up his chest (foul play, he thinks) to wrap themselves around his neck and smooch him. now he’s the one hmphing, eyes opening wide in realization that this was actually fucking happening. after he’s composed himself, he’s somehow pulling you closer, grabbing you tighter, as if you could merge into one. that gets a gasp out of you, which touya takes as an invitation. hands are roaming and tongues are clashing; it’s sloppy, like most teenage make out sessions are. touya’s snake bites aren’t making it any more classy, and you giggle into his mouth at the thought how much metal gets in the way of you and his face. he doesn’t know that, of course, and assumes your sounds are from the sheer joy of this moment (they are, too) and smiles against your lips, leaning into the feeling of your hands holding his face.

no other senses are as important to either of you as touch or feel are in the heat of the moment. but at the sound of the familiar creak of the old floorboards, you find gratitude in your ability to hear. it enables you to snap out of your daze and yank touya’s hands off of you. you think you must be one of the strongest people in the world to be able to gather enough self control to break the kiss. in that case, touya has to be incredibly weak, the way he’s pouting and pawing at you to continue, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. he looks so damn cute, but you’re not willing to subject your poor grandmother's eyes to some high school pda.

as soon as she appears at the archway of the kitchen, remnants of his pr and media training take effect. he plays the role of boy who wasn’t just sucking your face all too well, a polite smile plastering itself on his face as he places his hands on the counter behind him.

your grandma, ever so oblivious and wholesome, holds a futon and a blanket in her arms, pestering touya about how dark and unsafe it is out there for a little boy like him (she says all this with her head thrown all the way back just to meet his eyes). you don’t process much of what they’re saying, still all flustered and disheveled. all you know is that touya’s ultimately decided to stay the night on your living room floor.

the last thing you see before heading off to your room for the night is touya’s knowing, teasing, shit-eating grin as he unrolls the futon on the floor, and the last thing you hear is your grandmother fussing over you.

(“you look a mess. my poor grand baby, working so hard every day,” her hands move from taming the flyaways on your head to caressing your face. “gosh you’re warm! are you running a fever? is that man overworking you kids?”)

though the afterglow of the kiss has your pillow feeling pleasantly cold and your mattress abnormally cloud like, your mind is nowhere near as tranquil. it’s riddled with thoughts of touya. the phantom feeling of his lips against yours only contributes to your restlessness. the first batch of your thoughts leave butterflies in your stomach. you allow yourself to indulge in fantasies of a potential future with the boy who holds your heart. you realize how delusional and foolish you seem; it’s exactly why you’d quickly shut those fantasies out when they would threaten to play out in the past, during silent nights just like this, where your mind would run rampant. but touya has now given you a glimmer of hope, and you can’t help but reach out for it and hold it close. touya liked you. liked you a whole lot if his… manners were any indication.

touya liked you. as the fact sinks in, your earlier words come to mind. touya was born to be huge, and he had no intentions of disappointing those who believed in him. touya had a destiny, while you lived in constant fear of never finding any meaning in your life. while training to be a hero was an honor, it was never your dream. as a child, you wondered why the universe had bestowed such a gift upon someone who had no desire for it; until “family” was numbered down to just you and your grandmother. you began to see your quirk as a resource rather than a gift. a resource that would allow you to provide for your little family, to secure a long life of comfort. and for the sake of optimism, you even became a little hopeful. hopeful that your purpose would manifest itself as you were surrounded by peers as “gifted” as yourself.

it never did happen that way.

when you first met touya, you were instantly struck with envy. the force of his ambition was overwhelming, to the point where you minimized him down to that single quality. he was the golden boy with his stupid dream. but a moth is bound to be drawn to a flame, and touya always burned especially bright. his tiniest details stuck to you like embers, and eventually you gave up on trying to scrub yourself clean of them. you learned to bask in his warmth; warmth you’d foolishly expected from others.

you feel like you’ve been grabbed by the shoulders and shaken awake from months of slumber, forced to open your eyes to reality. and maybe the reality is that you’re selfish. selfish for getting too comfortable in the presence of someone as sensational as touya. selfish for bringing him down to your level, selfish for ignoring the gap between you for so long.

you should feel guilty. you should feel ashamed.

instead all you feel is urgency. and maybe you’re not as valiant as touya, or as resilient. but you’re sure as hell as impulsive. it’s why your body tends to move to the beat of its own drum, and why it forces you to rip off your blankets and mindlessly race down to the living room. touya must have heard your vigorous stomping from a mile away, because he’s already sitting up on the floor all confused and watching you with puppy dog eyes. not even those downright freaky eyes are enough to freeze the adrenaline coursing through your veins. it’s still pumping when you drop to your knees to reach his level and slap your hands on the floor just to get all up in his face.

touya gulps. partially because of the close proximity, but mostly because you look pissed. you’re breathing all heavy and you’re frowning at him, so he can only conclude that you’re gonna tell him to stay the fuck away from you or threaten to yank all the piercings out of his skin if he ever even thinks about pulling that shit from earlier ever again (not an unheard of threat, by the way).

“i just realized you said see you tomorrow when you were about to go home,” you blurt out.

touya’s head is too anxiety ridden to notice how frenetic you sound. actually, i never want to see you again, is what he thinks you’ll say next, which pains him, especially now when your lips are just inches away and he’s fiending to get another taste of you. he can’t even ogle at them one last time with the way you’re staring at him expectantly for a response.

“yeah, so?” is the best he can muster through bated breath.

“tomorrow’s sunday.” your frown has slightly dissipated and your eyes have shifted to watch your fidgeting hands. you look…. dejected. touya can’t stand seeing you this way, even if you’re confusing (and scaring, honestly) the absolute shit out of him.

“oh. i’m sorry.” he’s not entirely sure what he’s apologizing for, but he’ll do it as many times as you want him to. but you don’t want his apology. to hell with not being selfish. you want him to want you.

touya thinks you’ve finally decided to kill him when you lunge at him and knock him back into the coffee table. instead, he finds himself reaching the pearly gates of heaven for the second time that day when you grab a fistful of his hair and slot your mouth over his. in the darkness of the room, he’s able to see what exactly you were talking about earlier. hues of blue illuminate your surroundings. they don’t extinguish when the two of you find yourselves tumbling to the ground, lips still locked. the position has you straddling him, and it gets him hot and bothered enough to pull away slightly in fear of igniting completely.

touya is breathless when you look down at him. it doesn’t help that your eyes are reflecting the color of his flames. you look beautiful. he realizes he must’ve thought out loud when you bury your pretty face in his neck. the feeling of your soft breathing makes him jolt. shivers run through him when you begin to whisper against him, hands still running through his hair.

“tomorrow’s sunday…. but i still want to see you. is that okay?”

is it okay for me to stay by your side?

when you look back at the remaining days of your second year, it’s difficult to recall a single one that didn’t include touya attached to your side. there was an agreement, after that night, that all forms of affection would be reserved for the privacy of your home. it was a reluctant agreement from both sides, but it was a necessary one, given the rules of “shitketsu”, as he liked to call it. it’s laughable how fucked that agreement was from the very beginning.

touya couldn’t pretend if his life depended on it. when you’d scold him for trailing behind you like a puppy all day, he’d whine about how he couldn’t help it. “the heart wants what it wants!” he’d huff with his hands on his hips and his chest all puffed out, posing like a real hero. some fights aren’t worth losing, your grandmother used to say, and the odds never seemed to be in your favor anyway; not when he’d act so cute. so you’d just chuckle and let your head fall on his chest, mumbling something about how he had to make a bigger effort tomorrow — he never did, but fortunately your grandmother used to tell you some mumbo jumbo about acceptance, too.

a boy who is head over heels for you. some might question — rhetorically — if you could possibly ask for more. and you would answer that you could, with all the guilt in the world pooling in your stomach. because touya would look at you through heart shaped pupils. hold you close and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you napped after a long day. he’d kiss your doubt shaped tears away during your weakest moments like he cared and yet —

(“i didn’t raise you to end up walking in somebody else’s shadow. where’s your head at? don’t tell me it’s been clouded with some foolish desire for romance. leave that nonsense to your peers —”

“it’s not like that!”

“you think the greats wasted their time on trivial things like boyfriends or girlfriends—”

“i just said it’s not like that.”

“i have no interest in the technicalities of your involvement. i only ask that you don’t let it distract you from your goal. you’re not like the others. you’re my son.”)

happiness can only exist in acceptance. you remember those words now. and you were happy, for a while, feigning ignorance. not much had changed after that conversation, so who were you to complain? he was still your touya, and that should have been enough.

the distance grew subtly: rain checks, some messages left on read, nothing unusual. at the end of your second year, you decided not to renew your contract with the agency; touya didn’t question it, but neither did you when he’d said something along the lines of your decision “being for the best” instead of putting up a fight like you’d expected. you don’t know whether or not a fight would have saved your relationship from slipping through your fingers; only that your insecurities wouldn’t even let you try. before you knew it messages weren’t being exchanged for days, then weeks, and then eventually at all. rain checks became empty promises that paved the way for his eventual disappearance from your life.

touya had nothing to say about your decision to withdraw from shiketsu at the beginning of your final year, no words of sympathy for you while you sobbed over your grandmother’s open casket. there was no one to spin you around and pepper your face in obnoxiously loud and wet kisses after you’d completed your training at the district police academy, or moved into your first apartment; one you’d always fantasized about sharing.

you figure it must have been easy for touya to erase you from his life, considering your face has never been plastered on billboards and your name hasn’t been included in the headlines of any newspapers (lucky). there’s no room for resentment in your heart by the time you’ve been promoted from officer to detective. you’re good at what you do, always have been. but now that you can say you’re passionate about your job, living a dream you never knew you had, you know you’ve grown. the person you are now wouldn’t envy the wonder boy you met four years ago.

you do, however, find yourself pitying the current number five hero — young and quickly rising up the charts — when his “rowdy” behavior lands him at the center of controversies. the image of endeavor bursting a vein over all of blueflame’s scandals occasionally crosses your mind. you’ve both changed, that much is evident. whether the state of having “moved on” is applicable to both sides is a question that arises when you stumble upon images of him and some hot new mystery person on social media. the amount of people the cremation hero has been linked with since his debut couldn’t be counted on both your hands and feet combined, but it isn’t often that you’re forced to see photo evidence of his flings with your own eyes.

it’s then that you’re reminded of the shooting star that managed to melt through your fireproof hold; and that they never tell you exactly how much time is supposed to heal your wounds.

★ a/n pt. 2: so this was originally supposed to be a full ua student to pro hero touya fic but i felt like splitting it into two parts instead so stay tuned for that ig. in this part i characterized him as if he retained some of his baby traits (bratty and annoying in comic sans) but in part two he’ll act a little more canon compliant (bratty and annoying but in black metal font) since there’s a time skip and people change.

☆ fun fact: i wanted to make readers quirk fire related bc it’s canon that endeavor takes in a lot of fire quirk users at his agency and i immediately thought to rip off human torch. but then i started looking into what exactly plasma is (since human torch is described as using a “fiery” plasma) and i still Do Not Totally Get It BUT i learned that hot plasma is.. hot.. and “cold” plasma is great at fighting bacteria/infections (like on burns wink wink) which i thought was cool and useful so i just slapped that baby right on there like some flex tape. definitely not educated enough on the subject to delve into it in the story.

#BOOOOOOOO #this took me so long to finish for no reason #dabi drabble #dabi headcanons #dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi #dabi angst #dabi x y/n #dabi fanfic #dabi fluff

[biillyhargroves]

listen i know we’ve talked about heather & billy being each other’s beards but please consider billy & robin agreeing to be one another’s beards.

hear me out: billy and steve and robin all chilling at the harrington house. lounging by the pool. a little tipsy. robin is telling steve and billy all about how she feels like an absolute disaster around girls, just cannot get her shit together, gets way too nervous and flustered and fucks up every time she so much as attempts to flirt. and there’s a school dance coming up! and her parents want her to go! have been pressuring her to put herself out there! enjoy her high school experience! but she has no one to go with. she’s all stressed because she wants to please her parents but she’s too scared to ask anyone — guy or girl — to go with her, platonically or otherwise. and it’s steve to the rescue, “why doesn’t billy take you?”

“are you whoring me out to your friends now?” billy teases, and steve makes a very valid point that taking out robin would at least get billy out of the house for the night. he also points out that putting on a show, going out with a pretty girl, might keep paternal suspicions at bay. neil hargrove isn’t stupid, after all, and steve and billy have almost been caught enough times to have them worried. billy takes all of this in and shrugs. “sure, fine, it’s a date.”

at the dance, robin is longing after…someone. maybe vickie, or nancy, or heather. billy tries to get her to go talk to the girl and she shuts him down. he doesn’t push, but he does actively demonstrate his flirting skills. the arm around the shoulders. softening his voice. leaning in so it feels like the room falls away and it’s just the two of them.

and robin demands that he teach her more, because holy shit, she does not want to be with a man one bit but there was a split second there where billy was zeroed in on her that she felt the inexplicable urge to jump his bones and how does he do that??? “be my yoda,” she demands, and do their fake relationship begins. he flirts with her. she flirts back. he gives her pointers. meanwhile, the entire school is flabbergasted. they simply do not run in the same circles and it does not make sense but everyone’s too afraid to ask them about it or say anything because billy will end anyone who dares say anything remotely bad about robin. that’s his fake girlfriend and he will defend her honor, dammit.

plus! think of how they could torment steve. constantly berating him for being mean to their boyfriend/girlfriend. both of them play-flirting with him when they think he feels left out. making up fake inside jokes that make no sense and refusing to let steve in on them because it’s funny to watch his face get all red. it’s all good fun, and steve knows it, and he loves them both so of course he lets them have their fun. it was his idea, anyway, and they never fail to remind him of that.

#harringrove #+ robin buckley #robin buckley #billy harringrove #steve harrington #they have the makings of a really cheesy ya romance and i’m here for it

[burntblueberrywaffles]

Fic tag game

got tagged by @fangeek-girl ❤️❤️

How many works do you have on Ao3?

I have 7 works but 3 of them are fanfic lol

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

1896 words total. Your girl is definitely one for brevity LOL

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday, that one drabble I made for The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, and I've been writing for Star Wars (though I haven't posted anything yet) and Mrs maisel (i wrote a whole short fic for that almost a year ago but I forgot about it completely until I found it in my notes apps, I should get around to posting it)  

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I don't have 5 fics total but here's my current count in order:

1-Lies

2-The world's a little blurry

3-Pretend

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes always! the fact that people are READING my stuff and taking time to comment has me 🥺🥺🥺

My writing ao3 isnt linked to my main email adress though so sometimes it takes me a while to respond because I wont see it until I periodically check my fic stats

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

.....Probably The world's a little blurry let's be real (I'm going to fix it it in the next one in the series, I promise!!!)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

akdadhjgsjgd hard to say all my shit is angsty, I guess Pretend?? kind of, it's less of a downer than the other ones. The final part of Come a little closer will have a happy ending though I promise! (already finished writing the end, I just need to write the beginning lol)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No ❤️ I don't think any of my stuff has gotten enough attention for that lol

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

NO my ace ass has no experience with that so I wouldn't know how 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️(I might need to in some future project, fortunately a lot of my friends are perverts (affectionate) so I could probably ask for some guidance if it comes to that LOL)

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No, I'm not a big fans of crossovers in general so certainly have never felt compelled to write one.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So many ugh I cant even choose, it's more rare for me to actually finish something than the opposite, that's why I'll never post anything unless the whole thing is finished (only exception is my current series, but that's because I felt like each fic making up the series were self-contained enough that they didn't need to follow up immediatly to work? if that makes sense - plus the first one was a one shot and only thought of how to follow it up after posting it)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

ANIDALA MY BELOVED

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at imagery and emotion (being a poetry writer goes brrrrr)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS oh god I'm so bad at it. My fic are vibes only lmao, what are they wearing? where are they? what movements are they doing? NOT IMPORTANT how about I offer you 12 metaphors on how this character is feeling instead. (though I'm forcing myself to work on it haha)

I also struggle with any longer story arc... there's a reason all my stuff is so short lol

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's in french it would be pretty fun since it's my ✨first language✨ hehe. For other languages I'd see if one of my friends speak it but otherwise idk if I'd include it bc I don't want to butcher another language, I've seen too many english authors put french through the ringer it's painful 😭

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I guess Julie and the Phantoms? I never posted it but I had a pretty advanced fic for that. unless you count the 13 reasons why fic I posted on wattpas when i was early teen but we dont talk about that

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

right now it has to be The world's a little blurry, I just love how it came out hehe

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

none right now.

Anyway tagging @nonamemanga @beri-allen @unlifeira @realmermaid333 @suchaladyy @witchysith @king-crimson-works @theycallme-thejackal and anyone else who might want to do it!

#tag game #burntblueberrywaffles

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

so I just read Clementine Book One and now I taste nothing but salt

here are my first impression notes-

the spoiler free version: It’s bad. Like things weren’t great but I was vibin’ until about chapter 8, then it took a nose dive into shit. 

Can’t wait to read it several more times and write up the full review because ha ha I have a lot to say and very little of it is nice. 

1/5 stars, and yes, Amos makes up that one star, otherwise this would get nothing from me. 

the spoiler version: 

before I even begin, I should give a brief summary of how I’m feeling, that way I can compare the pre-read/post-read feelings: Ugh. I feel ugh. 

now that we’ve documented that, let’s begin.

alright, not even a a full page in and I’m already so blehh about this not being in color. For those who don’t know, color is important in Tillie Walden’s other works. In my opinion, the way she uses color is the best thing about her work because it compliments her messier style of linework, working with it rather than against it. But when everything is greyscale, it’s so boring and lifeless... sure, it’s the walking dead and the world sucks and I’m sure skybound wanted this comic to match the others so Tillie doesn’t even get to work with the thing she excels at.... great. 

sooooo Clementine is on crutches, she’s using them and a knife to kill a bunch of walkers........ why isn’t she covering herself in walker guts in order to make it past herds without having to fight and run? y’know, like a smart person? 

she broke her peg leg and fell down... and the very first thing we get outta her as far as dialogue is “euch”..... amazing

gasp, is that an Amos I see? must be, Clementine’s glaring at him. 

“what’s it like on the road? are there lots of devils ‘n stuff?” oh please tell me that these people call the walkers “devils,” please, that’s hilarious

Okay, so remember Denny? The guy who was in the teaser pages we got forever ago but I wasn’t sure of his name so I just named him Denny because he was a dentist. Turns out his name is Rabby, but I’m tempted to keep calling him Denny just outta spite.

Still rolling my eyes at the fact that this Clementine doesn’t know how to take care of her leg as if she doesn’t know basic first aid. 

Yes, Clementine, obviously you have to wash your leg regularly to prevent infection, obviously you have to redress it often, you should know that. 

Anyway, Denny is a chill dude, too bad Clementine is so insistent on getting outta there so she can climb a tree. 

“Hey! Hat boy! You’ve got company!” .......hat boy. Ugh. 

not impressed with the overall dialogue so far, you can really feel that this isn’t a telltale voice, y’know? 

y’know, this Clementine feels like if ANF Clementine never found AJ and TFS never happened, she just went on with her angst train, lost her leg some other way, and now ended up here. 

I’m glad Amos finds Clem funny, because I find her dull.... god that’s not a sentence I want to be typing. 

...Alright, I don’t know what’s supposed to be happening, Clementine and Amos [mostly Amos, Clementine wanted to leave] saved three? I think I could three? people and it looked like one of them was gonna turn into a walker but no? he’s not? I’m sorry, was he trying to crawl forward and Clem took that as a threat? did he grab her and she attacked? I think that’s the implication since she them stomped on his hand and someone else in the carriage said “what did you do to that girl?” ..... sure wish I could tell what the hell was actually happening.

but also, not at all surprised that Tillie would throw in a “and then Clementine got groped by an old man,” based on some of her other novels. 

Oh..... Helen is the horse. Pfffttttt..... it took me how many pages to realize Amos is talking about the horse and not someone back at the town?? uuughhhhhh

Amos is literally the only likable thing so far. He actually has a voice and personality whereas Clementine is just an angsty piece of bread. 

Ugh. Evil twins who won’t give their names. 

PFFFTTT.... oh no, the evil twins killed Helen! Who could’ve seen that coming?? Literally everyone??? SKSKSKSKS

Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh about a dead horse but c’mon, the cheapest way to get a reader/viewer to feel something is to kill an animal and like, now Amos is all sad and I’m shaking my head and sipping my wine. 

oh good, the new love interest is here. 

......what. why are you blushing and looking at Clementine already? y’all met two seconds ago and had one conversation.

They’re calling the twins Right and Left.... alright then. 

Amos is my favorite so far. He’s the only one who has gotten a laugh outta me. 

Nawww look at the three of them being friends, this is tooooootally gonna last, mmhmmm....

oop Ricca made a remark about Clem’s leg and she got upset, now Amos is sick. Lame. 

AH YES, LEAVE AMOS ALONE AND SICK WITH THE EVIL TWINS, THAT’S FINE SKSKSKS

oh my god, this whole Clementine and Ricca “romance” is so.... not even a romance, I’m cackling 

KJASLKJLAKJDSLKJSAD WHY

WHY THOUGH

oh now we’re just gonna info dump Ricca’s backstory? turns out she had a brother who used to push her ahead when checking for danger and then broke her glasses so that she had to rely on him until she found another working pair, so then she abandoned him and never looked back. 

CLEMENTINE NAMED HER LEG KENNY THAT REVIEW WAS RIGHT I CAN’T WHAT A GARBAGE CHOICE

Kenny was probably one of the worst people to have Clementine name her leg after. Naming her prosthetic leg after the guy who beat the shit out of Arvo... the kid who wore a brace on his leg? who struggled more and more to move around the more Kenny beat him up? great choice. 

“he was moody” HHAHAHAHHAHA YEAH THAT’S ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE KENNY SURE

Oh for fucks sake, we’re gonna flashback to AJ cutting off her leg, huh? why bother?

who the fuck is this???

Tim???? Who the fuck is Tim??? AND HE GOT BIT SAVING CLEMENTINE 

I’m laughing

what is even happening

Amos and one of the twins wanna run off.... what

okay seriously, the art is making it so hard to understand what the hell is happening

...........what

what

what

what

do you hear that? in the distance? that’s me... I’m laughing. Why? Because the evil twin fucking pushed Amos off a cliff and then stomped on her sister.... she literally murdered Amos and it came out of FUCKING NO WHERE

Amos was the one good character in this book and you killed him. You killed the only good thing. What is this pacing? there was no set up for that, you just pushed him, and I’m..... what the fuck is this writing?

Oh, and apparently one of the twins isn’t evil. Olivia is supposedly good but the other one is evil. I know this because sHE PUSHED AMOS OFF A CLIFF 

OKAY

I’m fucking choking on my wine because for the first time, I’m legit pissed. 

The reason Clementine left the school? the REAL reason? Clementine left Ericson because “But after I lost my leg, everything felt different. No one *said* it, but I could feel it. They thought I was a liability. But I think the real issue... was that I couldn’t talk to and of them about it. They were all around my age, and I... I just wanted to talk to Lee about it. Someone older, and I don’t know....”

Are you

Are you fucking serious

Are you shitting me

are you fucKING

oh my god

oh my fucking hell 

I 

you

...............................

Tillie, Skybound, we need to talk because you 

I am so 

........................

Ricca just called Clementine baby.

oh and she’s shot

and the evil twin is dead

but who gives a shit, really?

my entire mouth tastes of salt what the fuck

they found a stupid plane but I no longer care about anything, I’m mad that Amos is dead for no reason other and that THAT was the reason Clementine left

“Continued in Book 2″ oh fuck off

So, how do I feel now? compared to when I started? I feel UUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Take that as you will. 

Stay turned for the full review. Don’t know when it’ll be out but I gotta read this stupid thing a couple more times before I start. Ugh. 

#clem comic spoilers #twdg clementine #y'all..... what the hell #i expected disappointment and it's exactly what I got #twdg

[fictionfixations]

twst spoilers (im looking through this through the lens of twisted wonderland)

I have a bunch of movie DVDs so I’m watching them.

watched part of the little mermaid (i ended up stopping cause the rest of the audio after the deal was just gone and there were more and more frame freezes and cuts)

and then aladdin

Anyway since I’m on a twisted wonderland fixation I wanted to watch the movies I had. So I’m going through little mermaid. I don’t think I have the second

..there’s one at 80 mins. It says disc 1. The other is titled ‘Ariel’s beginning’ idk the difference??? apparently ariel's beginning is the third movie, and a prequel. i didnt get around to watching it cause at this point im tired)

Guppy is an insult (i swear ive heard floyd call someone a guppy but im not sure where)

THE TWEELS EYESSS (and the white glowed yellow???? Or is that an artistic choice??? i have no idea what they did because i couldnt hear them and i didnt figure out how to turn on subtitles or rewind )

I love the yellow fish so much (hes just explaining it while lacking so many details you cant really follow)

Triton a shit father???? No I hate the crab (hes. kind of a bad influence.)

Ariel can. Be out of water with her tail? And speak? And

breathe???????? huh!?

SHES ON SAND AND ISNT DRYING OUT??? (so her only problem with it is that shes not human. and thinks he'll only get with her if she's human. it feels kind of dumb but i guess it kind of isnt if they have this huge thing against merpeople but they dont even know they exist? although there could be negative consequences ofc if they did find out but i really dont think ariel's aware of that. or if she is, then whyd she go so close if she knows they could be a danger??? ???

..i mean. its better than signing away your best magic for TEST answers. and then working for the lounge for the rest of your years at school??? with probably no pay. like. seriously?? people just accept things?? i mean i know nrc wouldnt accept kindness. but. ..apparently accept azuls deals without reading...)

'Beautiful girl singing.' (or it was beautiful singing voice) (What if she was a siren???? like cmonn) I couldn’t hear what happened to Ursula that left her away from the others ngl

...Tritons really the kind of dad to destroy Ariel’s stuff when she reveals she’s in love with a human. Okay yeah I don’t take back my thought of him being a bad dad

Well it’s human stuff but srsly???

THE FAN TURNED ON (curse non-soundproof walls) DURING MEETING URSULA ('poor unfortunate soulsss') IM CRYING NOOOOO (i didnt know how to turn on subtitles. i only figured it partway around watching aladdin :( )

I can’t hear the deal :(

Weird that Ariel still got married (and had like the foundation thing that helps merpeople get used to land??? i forgot what it was but it was because a princess in like the sunshine lands blah blah blah) Meanwhile Ursula is just. Admired fo being so kind. Do they not know??? then again they do admire jafar while he also still lost. ..i mean the stories twisted ig so we cant really know what happened. if it followed the movie or if something else happened. In twst* Sound disappeared. I think it’s the movie dvd cause there are weird cuts

im. gonna end it there because otherwise im not gonna understand a thing

aladdin go brr

The frame froze on jafar closing the parrots mouth 😭

I FOUND WHERE THE SUBTITLES ARE oh my god were the crackers a reference (in the game kalim kept shoving crackers in grims mouth and i was just so confused???) I just wanna give the tiger a hug (i dont remember what gender but so so cute when turned into smol bby)

I can’t really blame animal sidekicks that cause an issue in stuff (and kind of annoying) since I got attached to grim and I hated him for the longest time lol (anyway abu ended up helping out by stealing the lamp anyway when before there liekly wouldnt have been a chance. so. good on him)

Jafar just keeps calling him Abooboo throughout the movie. …i cant take it seriously its the funniest thing ever

Why is jasmine surprised (or at least look surprised) she could’ve just assumed jafar was mistaken since Aladdin said he went in disguise and stuff to hide why he was there????

Who the hell would believe jafar’s word? The sultan. But jasmine hates jafar!

Jafar only wanted to be with jasmine to get power??? So why does he want her now? I refuse to believe he’s in love ew

EWWWW THEY KISSED (well she did it to distract him while aladdin was making his way on the plan to stop jafar. but EWW it didnt even work because he saw aladdin's reflection in the crown!)

So gross HOW OLD IS HE!?

So glad jamil wasn’t like that but also it’s not a romance game thank fuck

'Still just second best’ OUCH thats rough hearing that insult

and its deserved. but also knowing jamils backstory makes it ow, although jamil never really. went as far. ....like. nobody actually dies. theres no attempt at killing someone excluding overblot actions and actions pre-blot BECAUSE its on the way about to overblot that what you normally wouldn't do you kind of do, and i really doubt you can be blamed for that when it kind of just. removes your morals, sort of? lowers your inhibitions. but like. makes what caused it so much more intense so then you break and boom overblot

something like that.

#disney #twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #the little mermaid #aladdin #thoughts

[thatiranianphantom]

Different anon, also not a big Toni fan, but how about the fact that it’s no crueler to ask your ex girlfriend who has moved on with a new partner to officiate your wedding than it is to send the guy who your boyfriend is convinced you’ll one day leave him for to break up with him for you and then never explain or apologize for it… and then turn around and cheat on said boyfriend with that guy later on down the road. Did you hold Betty accountable for that? Or are too busy whining about Jughead moving on with someone else because you don’t like that Jughead gets a happy ending while Betty doesn’t, when she was a shitty cheater?

Not to mention Cheryl is consistently awful to Toni, and was awful to Toni from the very beginning, first point blank insinuating when Toni and the Serpents show up at Riverdale that Toni was stupid on top of being poor. And then even when they got together, she basically lorded her wealth and privilege over Toni to the point where she was manipulating Toni into staying with her by threatening her with homelessness otherwise. NOTHING Toni did to Cheryl even remotely compares to what an insufferable asshole Cheryl was to her. And Betty’s parents had been writing shit about the Serpents for YEARS and Betty only spoke out against it once she started dating Jughead, and even then she didn’t really stand up for the Serpents — just FP. She tried to warn Jughead away from the Serpents, basically telling him that they were bad people and he’d end up like his dad if he hung out with them.

Toni had no reason to be “nice” to Betty and how can you say it’s anything BUT racism when you expect the impoverished, queer, black girl to do the work and be friendly to the rich/upper middle class white girls whose families destroyed and besmirched her family, her community, and her heritage. Betty and Cheryl and their families not only benefitted tremendously from the systemic racism and classism in Riverdale, but also flagrantly perpetuated it. Trying to say Toni is just as bad as they are is gross AF. POC characters who do shitty stuff shouldn’t get off without some sort of reckoning or acknowledgement that their actions are shitty, but Toni owes Cheryl and Betty less than nothing, and to claim otherwise is super classist and racist. It’s not up to Toni to coddle the feelings of spoiled privileged white girls.

….sweetheart, the actual point of the post was that the other characters have done shitty things too? Like that was literally the entire point? How it managed to fly over your head is honestly impressive.

My dear sweet “not a Toni fan”, you’ve somehow managed to handwave away all the shitty things that you can explain away under “ well the other people did crappy things too so it’s fine” and completely ignore the things you can’t explain away. Also, Betty is a shitty cheater but Toni is a consistently wronged saint. Got it. Know where your head’s at now.

Also, Betty did nothing to Toni. Literally nothing. Saying it’s justified for Toni to be shitty to Betty because her mom was wrong is…well, it’s not quite the flex you think it is, anon.

Last here, again anon, none of the critiques I had had anything to do with race. You are the one bending over backwards to make it about race. And no, I will not give Toni a free pass (which is exactly what you’re giving her here, by the way) and hold her completely without consequence when she does shitty things.

#it’s functionally useless to say you hate Toni for exactly this reason #it’s not about race? well us anons are going to MAKE it about race! #eh whatever #this is a hill I’m willing to die on #Toni doesn’t get a free pass for her shitty behaviour the end #notice how Betty is a shitty cheater but Toni is an innocent victim #hm #answered

[bmpmp3]

i often, with very little seriousness, say that i prefer to read shoujo, josei, and the occasional seinen manga over anything from shounen magazines because even if they take a turn in quality, at least they will End within my lifetime HFKJSDHKDSHFD and this really is a joke: mostly as a way to combat the last 15 years of shounen elitists coming at me for liking things published in different magazines while also, in a slightly self deprecating way, pointing out how a lot of series in other magazine demographics usually either end at a natural stopping point or get canned unceremoniously with no conclusion (although shounen magazines are no stranger to the latter either LOL the nature of magazine publishing........) compared to just going on for hundreds of chapters after the quality took a nosedive

but make no mistake, despite how a lot (and i mean a LOT) of shoujosei is cancelled early before it can really start to get bad (or it gets trapped in an eternal hiatus because of magazine changes, or it just ends normally LOL), there are still plenty of series that went on way too long or struggled because of their length. some are worse than others: i remember Special A being solid but with a serious plateauing problem in like the latter half where it felt stagnant and boring (albeit not egregious or anger inducing or anything). but then theres other stuff like. hkjfdajhkgrlfjd. Peach Girl my beloved and beloathed <3 HHRJKFJRFEd and dont even talk to me about Vampire Knight or Black Bird. don't even say those words to me

and of course getting cancelled early can also give a series a great opportunity to fumble the bag horrendously in 3 chapters or less: one of my favourite shoujo manga of all time, Penguin Revolution, has an absolutely hilarious last chapter in that you can feel how much the author was like "SHIT FUCK I NEED TO WRAP THINGS UP RIGHT NOW" so hard that i cant even be mad about it LOL

and with that as a preamble: last night i finished reading A Devil and Her Love Song/Akuma to Love Song and well. um.,

quick TW: because of the topics that the manga touches on, I am going to talk a little bit about sexual assault, specifically sexual assault of a minor, and suicide. i will do it somewhat frankly because i want to take it seriously and not beat around the bush and i will do my best, but feel free to let me know if im off-base

SO the first half of the series is really solid, specifically with the characters. Maria in the beginning, especially with the bullying arc, was really engaging as someone so (intentionally or otherwise) neurodivergently coded. and The Boys: Shin and Yusuke were also really strong - moreso on Yusuke's end as like, a foil to Maria's complete inability to mask, Yusuke is like the king of masking. but even Shin, despite everything that comes later (and we'll get to that. by god we will get to that) was also interesting as like a foil in a different direction: a person resigned to his loneliness compared to Maria's drive to connect despite her struggles. And despite how sidelined the girls get, in theory I really loved Ayu and Tomoyo's connection to Maria and the whole squad as well (can't help but love a mean girl redeemed and a shy but secret goth kid respectively)

the series starts to take a turn for the worse after the new school bullying storyline and into the beginning of the Anna Situation. im gonna refer to this Anna, the friend of Maria's from her old catholic school who lost her voice as Anna (friend). it seems clunky but we'll come back to that LOL

i actually didn't hate the whole situation, i found Anna pretty compelling in her anger and resentment and even cruelty, and i was invested in seeing how her relationship with Maria would pan out. unfortunately she herself was basically forgotten about after she moves away to america and instead a lot of the situation was spent focusing on Shin's turmoil which was where his character started to. test me.

this is where Maria's backstory with her mother comes in: maria was born from the rape of her 14 year old mother, who then committed suicide with a preschooler Maria in her arms because of the turmoil and the way she and Maria were treated in the aftermath. this is. an absolutely unreal turn. really fucking dark and tough topic, but i had an inkling of hope! the series was handling its first like, 30 chapters with a surprising amount of care despite some clumsiness...

and the thing is i love a lot of stories that attempt to handle dark topics in loud, fumbling ways as long as theres a sense of compassion and honesty in it you know? and compassion and honest really is the thing, i actually prefer a messy but earnest story about dark and sad events compared to something that knows all the correct words to say while still dancing around serious topics (this is a problem i run into often in recent years. i think its a selfconciousness in storytelling that makes me feel like im being talked down to you know?)

but there is a difference between fumbling a bit an dropping the ball entirely. and MAN that ball was dropped HARD when you bring in the american soldier kidnapper and rapist of the main character's middleschool aged mother and try to turn him into some "redeemed" priest goofy crybaby dad character for the main character to forgive and reconnect with. but we'll get to that, i need to get back to shin

Shin learns from Anna (friend) about Maria's past and how Maria had forgotten it all because of the trauma, but may remember when she's held by others. not wanting to retraumatize her, and believing not remembering her past is what's best for her, he starts distancing himself from her. he also tells the other boys, the blonde bitches (Yusuke and Kurosu (we'll get to him later i prommy)) that have a crush on Maria as well about this, essentially deciding for Maria that she should never learn her past and attempting to control her relationships with other boys behind her back. THIS is intensely possessive and paternalistic WHICH in a vacuum COULD BE a really interesting, dark, but prescient and complex major character flaw to explore (especially in a story written for young women and girls like a manga serialized in Margaret would be). unfortunately the story never grapples with it, its framed like your classic possessive-but-like-in-a-sexy-fantasy-way despite being written in an incredibly embarassing and pathetic manner

like dear GOD i wanted nothing more than him to get some sense knocked into him by the blonde bitches. i LOVE a good character arc where a shojo manga love interest with possessive tendencies learns to respect his gf's autonomy its a classic!! especially with Maria's past, learning that helping someone with trauma means being there for her, not controlling her life behind her back! so much potential there

but alas. all we got was Shin hiding in the shadows from Maria for several volumes until, during an argument where Maria remembers her past and has a panic attack, he attempts to force himself on her and gets his hand hurt in the process. and. god. this is a shojo manga trope i Do Not Care For, honestly it is one of the few things that'll sour me complete on something:

the plotline where through a series of very bizarre circumstances the main love interest will sexually assault (or attempt to) the main character and then get really mopey about it (ouuhhhh im the baad guy how could i do thisssss i feel so sorrrrrrry for myself) and then the narrative will bend over backwards to say that UMMM ACTUALLY its okay the main character wasn't upset about that! it was something else! she didn't think it was rape!! she's cool with it!!! don't feel bad love interest guy!!! LITERALLY i hate it so much. the next several volumes spends so much time on Shin trying to make him feel better about his hand injury and how everything he did was okay because Maria loves him and it was PAINFUL so so frustrating

which brings me to the other guys, the blond bitches. Yusuke is mvp we know this, especially in the early volumes. but after he realized maria's in love with Shin no matter what and he has no chance, he also becomes frustrating because all his edges get sanded off, he's still a wonderful friend to Maria (although he unfortunately drinks Shin's koolaid and also hides her past from her) but he completely stops pushing Shin to be better which makes both characters worse. he was so interesting as the king of masking, such a relatable character type but MAN things went downhill

earlier in the series before Shin tries to push himself on Maria and I was still a bit sympathetic to him, i was thinking like damn. Maria should just get with Shin because she likes him but also setup a polycule where the two blonde bitches can orbit around and keep shin in check LOL

and kurosu. im going back to kurosu finally. a third anime boy has hit the love triangle. hes contentious for very valid reasons but the thing is. i kinda liked him? OKAY okay he has serious SERIOUS personal space issues which were played a little too much for laughs and we'll get to his relationship with Maria's father in a moment but i couldnt help but relate to a big dumb seemingly outgoing but still distant kid who talks too much about horny shit. Yusuke is just like me fr but. also. Kurosu is just like me (idiot highschooler edition) frrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry i do see a bit of myself in him. hell i even see a bit of myself (dumb possessive middleschooler edition) in the earlier versions of Shin (before you know. he went off the rails), and i think thats whats so frustrating: these characters start with ideas that are ALMOST relatable and intriguing character flaws and then it just descends into madness

and back on kurosu's relationship with Maria's biological father, it is pretty fucked that he hides the fact that he knows Maria is the daughter of the child his adoptive father figure raped for so long, and its especially fucked he brought Maria to the church where maria's bio dad is now a priest taking care of orphans as like a way to "reunite" them and show that "he's changed" and such, but this is really a problem less with the characters and more with the way the story's themes are coalescing in general. The character of Kurosu himself was quite interesting as like a foil to the foils of maria and yusuke, simultaneously really good at masking while also not being good at ALL. and I loved that he got on Shin's case to stop being so possessive and weird about maria. And not to be all "he's literally neurodivergent and a minor" but i can't get all that mad at a 15 year old who (as revealed really quickly in a random chapter near the end) who had to leave his abusive father and scared abused mother under really traumatic circumstances and then suddenly was taken in by a seemingly kind priest trying so hard to defend said priest. i think theres something very compelling and emotionally resonant there: grappling with the the fact that someone you love, someone who treats you with such kindness, someone who you think saved you even, could have been so cruel to your other loved ones.

i know i have a bajillion experiences like that (much smaller scale things like finding out a person who was nice to u is bullying others, or more serious things. im sure im not the only one who's got crazy shit happening with cousins and aunties and uncles and such). like it changes things: you can't just sit idle about it, but you also don't have the authority to confront anyone, you can't go back to the way things were before and there's an irreparable distance between you, but you don't know how to move forward other than letting that distance grow. I think theres something here!!! but unfortunately, the series as a whole was largely uninterested with anything other than turning the main character's mother's rapist into a doting father type character out of nowhere, treating the aforementioned rape as if it was just a little "mistake"

when i read or watch something and i have a very strong reaction to it, good or bad, i often like to look at reviews afterwards. a lot of people seem to think theres no reason to look at reviews if you already have your own opinion, but i personally find them really helpful to get new perspectives and sometimes find catharsis with others with similar perspectives to mind. and so i was looking at some fan reviews and this review's first line killed me

THEYRE NOT WRONG the full sentence is "This story really reminds me of Usagi Drop, just for the way that the ending butchers my enjoyment fo the entire series" which is VERY true, but also its very true more specifically n the sense of WHY on gods green earth is this series trying to frame the rape of a young teenager as a romantic thing (albeit in akuma to love song's case the circumstances are less grooming and more violence, which just makes it bizarre in a different way). but this person's review is great, it just puts the problems with the series in such a succinct way: it swiftly turns from a decent little drama about teenagers learning to grapple with communication into Rape Apologia: The Manga.

all in all i think the big problem with akuma to love song is how much the story is just uninterested in the topics it brings up. its not a matter of taking on tough subject matter and handling it in a slightly clumsy way, its a matter of taking on tough subject matter and then trying to tie it all up in a neat little black and white bow. the series best part of the series, which is kind of seen in the section where all the kids go to the beach together, is when the characters try to learn to communicate and be honest with eachother despite their difficulties. but that was forgotten and thrown away for some very bizarrely cruel melodrama, brushing aside one of the biggest victims: Anna (mother), the girl who was assaulted and the abandoned by all her loved ones in the process. a teenage girl alone with just a toddler. a character the series had no interest in, not her life or thoughts or agency. really depressing

also yeah maria's teenage mother has the same name (and looks???) as one of her former best friends. and you know. thats what got me kind of thinking. with how much Anna (friend) was like completely forgotten about. i honestly wonder how the writing for this series went. this is why ive been so frustrated after all, its highs are so good but its lows are so so SO disastrous. it appears to have been in a biweekly version of Margaret, im unsure if it was published in every issue though. if it was, maybe rushing to get out something every two weeks was in part to blame for how downhill the writing got? i dont think manga should be published more than once a month at most, i think its unethical working conditions for the sake of a worse product and its bad for everyone involved.

and i know its not really considered standard in art and media criticism to focus so much on the working conditions and mindset the author was in while creating. looking at art as itself divorced from its circumstances and death of the author (as in the actual essay meaning like the author is not god and the intended interpretation is no more or less important than the audiences) and so on and so forth. but i can't help it ive always been like this LOL if something bad i wonder how the creator felt creating it....

but anyway. now. one thing i will give the series: they did not randomly pair off the remaining ensemble cast at the end. one thing about shoujo manga, especially from the 2000s is that if there are an equal number of boys and girls, they will be unceremoniously split into couples by the end regardless of how compatible they are HJKDLDHFJKD i was so scared when i realized there were three boys and maria had two gal pals. i was so scared. but we were spared from that at least orz

i do want you to know something though. despite all my criticism, the thing about this all: i love garbage. i love trash. i will read like anything even if its bad as long as i think i can get SOMETHING out of it. even if that something is just "wow that was bad". do you remember the aforementioned Black Bird? what did i get out of that? i dunno, probably just something absolutely crazy to read in a public library as a 17 year old LOL. i love garbage melodramatic soap opera bullshit so much

but i think what frustrated me so much about akuma to love song, as mentioned before, is that it was like. genuinely really good! in some parts! its the potential that is killing me i think. its one thing to read some big dumb and questionable melodrama knowing what youre getting into in the first few chapters, and its another thing to start out written with such emotional intelligence only to take a complete and utter nosedive so dramatically

is this how shounen manga readers feel all the time. dear god.

but well. i guess i still got something out of 90 chapters of this. a really strong start. some good art. and a what-not-to-do manual for the latter half

#impromptu reviews with bmpmp3 #im ignoring an assignment again. why write a 200 word mini essay for class #when i can write a 2000+ word blog post about a manga that pissed me off instead <3

[the-angry-potato]

Finally got that response! I know I am rattled, something inside me just feels weird. I am a bitch for making her think about me again, no questions asked. She was already having a bad time, I only made it worse.

I can't say much about the first big paragraph, I feel like she hit it straight on the head. I am a very impulsive person and I never thought twice about what I did, just that I wanted to do it. I will say that I do care for what happens to the people around me, that's why I end up overcorrecting, I don't know how else to deal with my mistakes.

I remember talking about the things that bothered me, it's just that nothing ever really bothered me other than guys clearly hitting on her or the whole pandemia thing.

She do be right, I am a pajero que busca excusar actitudes nefastas, there wasn't a gallery after I met her though, I deleted everything after masturbating. Everything that survived was what was left in whatsapp chats. The only ones I kept during our relationship were her nudes. Other than that, I haven't screenshotted shit ever since 2019 and that's true, sorry I gave you trust issues in the beginning though.

The whole seeing you as Julieta, I am honestly offended, I said many fucking times that what you felt was valid. Even if I didn't understand the reasons why you were sad I never shunned you like "you're sad because you're sick in the head". Did I say "it's all in your head?" Yes, yes I did. Did I say those emotions were any less real because of it? NEVER. I was there for her when she needed it and she was there when I needed it, we wouldn't have lasted almost 5 years otherwise.

I have no fucking clue which girls she thinks I hyperfixated on other than Flor. Also, want to know why I hyperfixated on Flor? She reminded me of her, that's it. It was like Camila fucking came to uni with me, that's why we got along so well, she reminded me of Camila and that's why I could be comfortable around her. I never fucking hid my female friendships from her at all, I don't get where she got that from.

I didn't respect her boundaries, totally agree on that.

I am more dumb than anything, if I ever reached out to her it would be because of an emergency or because of a bad joke. In this case? Terrible joke from twitter

I have only asked if you're doing well like twice to our friends, once to Dani before everything went to shit and another to Lolo because he mentioned he saw you and I asked "oh, did she seem okay?" and he said yeah.

I still don't know what fucking friendships she says she didn't meet of mine. Gbu she knew, los chicos she knew, corpi was her group, Vilu she knew, the whole Lucho and girls group she knew, how many fucking friends did she think I have? I didn't have other groups, everyone from college I see them once every blue moon, the group where Tita came from broke apart in 2019. I don't have other groups, jesus christ.

People really do remember only the bad stuff because that's what breaks the norm. And douchebags like me only get defensive because that's all we know how to do. I gave her my best for close to 5 years, I am happy with that. Still don't know why she unblocked me

[charlie-fabray]

What: Bingo Event - Chastity Who: Dominant - Dante (npc slave), Submissives - Kyla Clarington and  Charlie Fabray When: late September, 2022 Summary: Kyla and Charlie make a bet. Kyla’s competitive streak comes out, but so does Charlie’s submissive streak. Charlie wins the battle, but Kyla wins the war. 

Dante had been a mismarked submissive back in the time before slavery. In some ways being a slave had worked out for him, at least when days went like this one. He'd been sent out to serve a couple of subs with this bingo event they had going. All he had to do was confine them in chastity and then tease them into breaking. A fun way to pass the time even if you weren't being forced to do it. He'd take his freedom any day, but as long as that wasn't a possibility he tried to enjoy the small blessings his miserable life afforded him. He finished locking them both into their devices nice and tight, chuckling lightly. "How about we get started straight away hmm?" He stripped down naked and looked through his toys. "This will be a nice starter." He picked up a large wartenberg wheel and beginning with the girl and then moving from one to the other rolling it over their exposed skin paying close attention to nipples and other sensitive areas.

Kyla was unsure at first about using a slave she didn’t know in a scene, but ultimately it wouldn’t be bondage, so she’d be able to leave if something were to go wrong. Plus it helped to have Charlie there with her. Dante was certainly hot, but she was trying to focus on this friendly competition she and Charlie had hatched up. Chastity tended to make her frustrated, but a competition always pushed her to do more than her usual ability. She looked over at Charlie and grinned as this wheely thing roamed her body.

The wheel wasn't too much to take. It wasn't even all that stimulating honestly. Charlie looked over at Kyla and smiled. "See this isn't so bad. You can do it. I mean I'm still gonna win, but.. oh fuck holy shit." The 'Dom' had rolled the wheel with it's sharp points over his balls while pinching his nipple with the other hand. He listened to the man chuckle as he moved over to Kyla. Dante hadn't liked the way they'd been taking things too lightly to start. He chuckled as the boy writhed under the onslaught of pins on his scrotum. He knew how that felt. Like all of your nerves were lit on fire. He dropped the wheel and picked up a feather tickler riding crop combo. He turned the girl over and began by just lightly dragging the feathers over the back of her vulva lips that were exposed outside of the chastity belt before quickly twirling it and laying a series of stinging slaps there instead.

“Yeah, it’s not too bad,” Kyla agreed, watching Dante’s every move. The feather-crop combo making an appearance made her bite her lip. She breathed through the feather sensation, expecting it to last longer, hissing when the crop came down instead. She whined audibly, but otherwise didn’t give anyone any satisfaction. She had a feeling this would quickly become more fun for the slave than it was for her. But this was a skill she should probably work on, anyway- as it seemed holding in orgasms was something a lot of doms seemed to like.

Dante observed the both of them. He was aware that beyond a simple chastity scene this was some kind of little competition between the two of them and his money was on the girl winning. She was strong. The boy was too sensitive, too open, but then again the fact that he'd ended up a slave didn't speak well to his ability to read submissives. He spent some more time on the girl alternating between the soft tickling feathers and the bee sting slaps of the flat leather of the crop. He finally moved closer so that he could tease that little bit of her folds showing with his finger. "I could probably get my finger in there huh? Probably give you that friction your wanting." He acted as if he was going to do just that before moving completely away and to the boy. Judging by the way he'd responded to wheel on his scrotum, he was at least a little turned on by pain. He picked up the violet wand and wasted no time torturing the boy's balls and abdomen with the device. Soon he was moaning and arching off the bench. "You want to cum boy? Just say the word and I'll jack you off and you'll be free. You know you can't resist." "No Sir. No, I'm fine. Show me how I can please you." He was slipping into subspace fairly quickly. "Can I suck you off Sir?" Please.” Dante chuckled. "I don't think so little mouse." He held the wand against the cage and then moved back to the girl. "Sounds like he's enjoying this hmm? How about you princess? You like this?" He held the wand against her ass cheeks, first one and then the other. "You like letting me use your body for all of my fun. This is so much fun."

Kyla was getting twitchy already, but she told herself twitching was okay. She thought about other things as much as she could- like how the feather was like a little butterfly and the crop was like a bee. She narrowed her eyes at him when he teased her with his fingers, unsure whether it would hurt or help. It wasn’t until the man stepped away from her that she realized she’d been breathing narrowly, now taking a deep breath. Her ears almost perked up like a cartoon when she heard Charlie’s reply. “Oh what the-,” She was certainly not in any special kind of mental state. Dante returned to her, and she balled her hand into a fist and uncurled it a few times. “Can’t complain. Glad you’re having fun.”

Dante realized that the longer he spent on the girl the better. It would torture the boy just as much to ignore him. He'd be begging in no time at all. "Oh, I certainly am. I have to thank you for renting me for this." He turned her over and pulled out the stirrups from the side of the bench and put her feet in them, exposing her completely to him. He used the wand from her toes all the way up her body looking for her most erogenous zones. As soon as he found one he would stay there letting the electrical stimulation do its work. From time to time he would let a hand slide down his own body to stroke his proud erection, while looking directly into her eyes.

Kyla tried not to whine as her legs were moved out of the way. The wand hit her foot and her body jerked slightly. She got squirmy when it got near the chastity, and remained squirmy until it was away from her abs. She squirmed again when it hit her nipples, and then again when it got to her neck. Seeing him cater to his erection didn’t help, so she looked the other way. “Okay, damn, there’s two subs in the room, ya know.”

Dante chuckled, returning to her nipples. "Look this way princess. I might be a slave, but for this scene I'm a Dom and you will obey me. Don't look away and don't get too sassy either." He applied the wand to her nipples her around the edges of the chastity and then directly on the chastity for long moments before moving away. "How about you mouse? Do want to look away when I touch myself?" He got close to the boy's face, but not nearly close enough. He set the wand down and brought the boy's hand to his erection. "Stroke it nice and easy. Don't stop no matter what I do." Charlie whimpered at how close the man was without him being able to touch. He thought that being able to touch him would relieve his want for more, but the slowness was just a tease. He was barely grasping the thick length. The man pinched his nipples and he arched off the bench, gasping and moaning. His body was so responsive. "Bet your cock is trying to get hard huh? But no matter how hard you try you ain't getting any satisfaction." He didn't say anything, not even as Dante reached down and gathered some pre-cum that had dribbled out from the cage and down his ass. He brought it up to Charlie's lips. "Suck." And just as quickly as he had the man in his hand and in his mouth he was gone, turned back to Kyla. "Are you getting wet too little girl? How about we check?" He moved between her legs and swiftly swiped his finger in under the chastity. Not enough to give her more than a brief tingle but enough to gather the wetness there. He brought his finger to her lips, but at the last moment moved and put the finger in his own mouth. "Mmmm, tastes good. Bet it would be awful nice to get a whole mouthful of that sweetness. But not today. Not unless you beg me real good. Of course if you do that you'll lose the bet. Which matters more winning or an orgasm?" 

Kyla thought to challenge Dante’s authority, but that wasn’t what the scene was about. Plus he was easily tormenting her as it was, and she figured it would get worse if she made him mad. She turned her head back to face him, her only sign of defiance being the glare she shot to his eyes, knowing her own eyes were probably more green than usual due to her emotions. She watched the man play with Charlie for a minute before looking up at the ceiling to try and center herself. It held up at least enough that she didn’t fully hear what the man had said, and didn’t twitch when he touched her. For the time being, she was determined not to beg this guy for anything. Not because he was a slave, but because he was annoying her. “Winning and orgasms are usually synonymous,” she mumbled. “But I’m competition-starved, so I’ll go with winning.”

Dante ignored the defiant look the girl shot him and  looked over at Charlie whimpering on the bench and smirked. "Well it looks like you're winning. Though I can't tell if he wants to released or if he just wants to keep touching me." He stood between her legs and started kissing, sucking, and licking the soft, pale skin of her thighs. Maybe a little killing with kindness would bring her closer to wanting that belt off. He was enjoying himself thoroughly and found himself hoping she would break so that he could taste her sweet core and listen to that sassy mouth moaning.

Kyla didn’t chance looking at Charlie- she thought it would psych her out. But what psyched her out was a hot tongue and warm lips on her skin. When her back arched, she knew she didn’t have a whole lot of time left. She could try getting into Charlie’s head, but she’d always found that tactic too underhanded. She stayed quiet for a while, but once a small sound escaped her, a moan followed.

Dante smiled as he placed one last kiss right to the little bit of luscious folds that peaked out. As much as he had picked a favorite at this point he wouldn't want to be unfair. He returned to the boy and gave him the same treatment, pulling equally delicious moans and cute little kitten sounds that he thought would be fun to play around with. Charlie was amazed at how pulled together Kyla was. None of this seemed to be affecting her. She'd even sassed the man back. When she did moan, Dante predictably abandoned her to play with Charlie. It was like he was edging them without even touching them. He hadn't expected the kisses on his thighs though. He melted into each and every touch, making sounds he probably should have been ashamed of. "Ahh, thank you Sir. Thank you. Wh... ahhhh.. ohh fuck.. Sir!!" Once Dante felt Charlie's legs shaking he moved back to Kyla. "You might be beat. I think he likes this. Though he's softer than you by a country mile so..." He took her hand and put it on his cock. "How do you think it would feel inside of you princess? Pretty good hm?"

Kyla groaned as Dante walked away from her at a frustrating moment in time. She knew she didn’t like chastity, but she really didn’t remember it being this annoying. The fact she wasn’t pinned down by anything was actually not helping her, as it left her free to squirm and jerk around. Charlie’s words grabbed her attention and she looked over before she could think about it. He was enjoying this. She was pretty submissive herself, but there wasn’t anyone here she cared to impress very much. “I’m definitely beat,” she confessed, though still annoyed. “But not yet.” The nickname ‘princess’ had always been fun for her, so she dropped a curse when he said it in the context. “I imagine it feels good. Not sure you’ll get to find out though. I signed up for a contest, and while I’ll lose it, that doesn’t mean you’ll get to win.” She might have seemed tough, but she knew she only had the courage to even speak right then because she was frustrated. “Having a good time, Charlie?”

Dante had to admit that he was impressed. In another life this girl would have been exactly what he'd have wanted in a partner. God, in another life he would be a free Dominant and someone like this girl, sassy, strong, and sexy would be his submissive. "Fair enough. Maybe another day we can both win. I can be rented for all kinds of things." He let her continue to hold his cock, shift his hips to get some small satisfaction.  Charlie was floating in subspace at this point. He nodded. "Yeah... yeah s'real nice ain't it Kyla? I hope you win. Can Sir touch me again please?"

Kyla looked down as he moved around, grinning silently when she realized what he was doing. “Oh another day, maybe.” It gave her some semblance of satisfaction to know that he wasn’t completely satisfied himself at that moment. She had no idea how Charlie was doing this- the guy sounded delirious enough to be high. She flicked her eyes at Dante, seeing if he’d walk away. “There’s no way in hell I’m winning this, but thank you.” If she wasn’t a competitive person, she’d go ahead and tap out. But there she was, a very rare moment of stubborness taking over. She wasn’t going to succomb to defeat until she was actually defeated. “Sir can totally touch you again, don’t you worry.”

Dante couldn't help the thrill Charlie's 'Sir' sounded. There was no play acting in it. He was too far gone for that. He moved over and decided that it was time for him to enjoy himself as much as possible. He moved over to Charlie's head and presented himself to him. "Suck boy."  Charlie let out a slow relieved whimper and took the member into his mouth, sucking and licking in all the ways he hoped would give the Dom pleasure. He moaned happily around the cock in his mouth, forgetting entirely his own. It was actually a relief not to have to worry about coming or not. It was off the table so all he had to do was focus on pleasing the other man. And Kyla if she wanted too.

Kyla took time to breathe, and tried to regulate herself again. But her heat was irritated by now- it needed some attention. But whether or not to give in was her challenge. She usually liked to please, but she found that she was okay with this push and pull with Dante. “That mouth though,” she chuckled to Charlie. “Where do I sign up?”

Dante looked over. He was close enough that he could cup one of her breasts and toy with her nipple while thrusting lightly into Charlie's willing mouth. "It's pretty good. Bet I could order him between your legs princess. But I could probably order him to take off that cage right now too. You could win. Right here and now." He pulled himself away from Charlie, who whimpered at the loss, and turned toward Kyla. "Or we could keep this fun going for a good long time." He presented her with his glistening cock, wet with Charlie's saliva, but he didn't order her as he had the boy. She was too sassy for throw away orders.

“You could order him to do a lot of things right now,” she said, trying not to enjoy being touched but failing at it as she moaned. “Winning by cheating isn’t as fun.” Her eyes were shut tight, and her toes were curled up. “You’ve gone and irritated me,” she shrugged. “You should finish the deal.”

He was impressed. "Good girl. I'm glad you're not a cheater." He stroked himself as he walked around to stand between her legs. He reached out to his tray of toys and found a pair of nipple clips. He wasn't trying to be cruel so he was careful as he clamped them one at a time on the stiff peaks, and only flicking them teasingly. Once he was pleased with the effect he found a small vibrator and placed it on the metal piece covering her little bud and hidden core, letting the vibrations do their job while he used his free hand to stroke his cock. "Keep your eyes on us boy. Don't look away even once. I want you to reach out and see if you can touch Kyla's breast. Just hold it like a good boy. Her skin is very soft. Caress it."  Charlie had no problem touching Kyla. He smiled dopely at her. "You're really good at this Kyla." What this was and what defined good was really beside the point for him now.

The praise did its thing for Kyla, which was weird because this wasn’t someone she was trying to impress. Her whole body was buzzing with unfulfilled energy, so when the clamps and the vibe came out, she sighed of relief. “There ya go,” she said with faux encouragement, knowing the dom-leaning slave didn’t need it. Once everything was in place, it was waves of grunts as Kyla fought to keep her mouth closed until she physically couldn’t anymore. The moans started and didn’t stop until after she’d cum, and calmed down from it, breathing deeply. “What kind of witch magic do you have, Charlie?”

"Yeah. Feels good huh little one. Just feeling all those little vibrations. Can you imagine how it would feel if I put this vibe right on that what I'm sure is an adorable little clit. But not with this belt on. Not gonna happen. Umm, I'm about ready to pop. Guess if that happens maybe you both lose." He reached up and squeezed the clamp on her nipple. "I'll try to hold out just like you." Charlie wasn't quite sure he knew what she was talking about. He wasn't really even touching her much since she was just about out of reach completely. "Does it feel good? I feel so good right now." His body was wriggling and writhing in direct conflict to the rest of his demeanor. It was almost as if the torture of his body was feeding the contentment of his mind. (edited)

Kyla let herself loose, all but thrashing as she laid there until the spasming stopped for a moment. “Okay, now he can win.” She decided. “Get this thing off me before I kill someone.” She  of course wouldn’t do anything but throw a stuffed animal across her room and then apologize to it, but Dante didn’t need to know that. And beyond that, she did not enjoy not cumming, so if sweet bliss was kept from her longer, it was possible that she could get a little murderous.

Dante was actually relieved when she gave in. He quickly unlocked and removed the chastity belt, moving the vibe right on to her clit. It was indeed very cute and wet. "You lost princess, but I still think you deserve a reward. Would you like my cock or my mouth?"

“Losing sucks,” she mumbled with a pout, having to actively remind herself that the misery was over now. She considered him for a moment, but went with what she felt was a safer option since she didn’t know him. “Mouth. If you can make magic with it quickly.”

"I definitely can." He knelt down and dove in with all of the pent up passion of the scene. She did taste sweet and he dove his tongue in and out while sucking lightly. Keeping the vibrator in place he knew it wouldn't be long now.  He reached down and tugged at his cock hoping to find his release as she did.

Kyla found a rhythm and moved with Dante, the frustration releasing itself giving way to immediate relief. She stayed connected to his mouth until all the aftershocks had come and gone. “Im going to assume you were successful in getting yourself off,” she said to Dante, pulling herself up to a seated position and looking to Charlie. “You won, Char. You still alive over there?”

Dante fell over the edge the moment he felt a flood of sticky release in his mouth. He stayed where he was breathing into her folds and nodding his assent. The scene was over and he was a slave again. When she sat up and spoke to Charlie he realized his job as a Dom wasn't quite over yet, though. He wiped his mouth and quickly moved over to remove the cage. He helped Charlie to sit up and whispered in his ear. "Good job baby. You did so good. I'm sorry you didn't get to please me more. We'll make that happen as a reward later alright? You were very good and I'm proud of you." He moved back from his ear and hugged him lightly.  Charlie smiled at her, never having taken his eyes off of her just as he was ordered. "That was amazing Kyla. You and Sir did so good." His voice was a little ragged. The Dom helped him out of the cage and to sit up. "Thank you Sir. Thank you." "Okay you two. The guard is probably going to come get me soon. I want you to give each other a lot of after care. Lots of water for Kyla and quiet for Charlie. And hugs for you both. Sound good?"

Kyla was prepared to pull Charlie together- she’d already decided that she wouldn’t leave him there in his condition. If he wanted to continue in a scene right now with Dante, she’d stay with them and watch- it didn’t seem right to leave Charlie when he wasn’t quite in his right mind. She was delightfully surprised to see Dante continue his job as a dom, taking care of Charlie himself. She didn’t want to stick around long enough to see how he’d be treated by the guards, so she tracked down the clothes she’d thrown off and put them on. “Got it, Sir,” she replied with a flushed smile, taking Charlie’s hand and looking to him. “Lets go, sorcerer.” (edited)

Dante nodded and smiled sadly. "In another life," he said to her cryptically. In another life she would be perfect for him. But in this lifetime he was just a slave. He decided he'd keep watch over and make sure she didn't end up where he was.

@dancer-subclarington

#bingo event #tntevent

[humanallalive]

About Sakura Beach

I'm actually running out of ideas about what to write, because it takes time to complete a game, so I won't be posting regularly, mostly when I actually complete a game or remember a cool game I played and keep thinking about.

Sakura Beach fucking sucks. It was my first time playing a visual novel(apart from finishing like half of Nekopara and uninstalling it after I felt bored), and it was not a nice time. It was less disappointing and more frustrating, in fact it was probably the most frustrating experience I've ever gotten from a game. Imagine you're playing a first-person shooter and you get placed in a room full of leaches that slowly drain your health until you're dead and you are completely paralyzed, and you get to relive that over and over again. I'll explain my frustration with this game.

In a video game you have two aspects: the story and the gameplay. If one of these aspects is lacking but the other one is really good, the game can still be considered great. However, a visual novel has no gameplay, so if the plot is bad, that means the whole game is also bad, and that's exactly the case here.

The plot feels like a mashed combination of ideas about what would happen if you get stuck on a summer vacation with two anime girls. It just feels like a set of events that have almost no connection. And the characters are just crash dummies. They don't even deserve to be called "characters", they're more of walking stereotypes. You know, you have the "generic dense dark-haired harem anime protagonist, who is a complete dumbass", the "generic big-tittied childhood friend" and, of course, the "generic angry-for-no-reason asshole bitch with equally big titties"; it sucks. So for the entire game you're stuck with braindead ragdolls failing at logical human interaction in overused scenarios, and you can't do anything. Sakura Beach does gives you choices that lead into one of three cutscenes, but the choices are so extremely obvious it's pathetic. The story is nothing interesting if you've watched enough harem anime(why on Earth would you do that?), and if the game is focused completely on plot, well, you can guess how bad it is.

The music is the classic visual novel music, no complains here; the backgrounds and the spritework are fantastic; and the game is very stable and easy to navigate. It's a solid base for a shit visual novel, it's more than disappointing.

But I'm done shitting on the game, instead I want to actually point out the problems the game had and provide solutions to avoid these kinds of problems if you're writing a story:

Structure. Sakura Beach only two point in the plot that mattered: the beginning and the ending, other than that everything else was very liquid and the event placement didn't really matter. The plot should build up some sort of tension until the very ending for the game to be a memorable experience.

Purpose. The characters in Sakura Beach didn't have any common goal or a solid purpose to be on their vacation, therefore their actions sometimes seemed illogical and random. Even if it is a relaxing beach game, the characters need a motive. Otherwise the ENTIRE story is completely pointless.

Progression. The visual novel had three main points in story: the prologue, the epilogue and everything in between; and these parts are not connected together. The plot needs to move from event to event seamlessly, or at least the progression should be logical and advance to the main goal of the characters. You can even move from one era to another or have multiple timelines as long as it's understandable to the player what is going on.

Characters. Probably one of the most important aspects, because these are the people you're gonna be stuck with for the entire game, and they better be likeable. You see, Sakura Beach failed to make likeable, interesting characters: they were forgettable, plain and dumb. Actually, they might not be dumb, maybe it's just that they have no goal or the event progression is a bit fucked, we will never know. Feel free to add complicated backstory, a ton of quirks, personality traits and, god bless you if you do this, character advancement. Just don't add too much, because it can actually backfire: characters can go from boring and forgettable to so overfilled there might not be enough time in the plot to tell everything about them or it just might be too hard to remember all the little details. Character balancing is really important, but having more than enough is already better than not having enough. The player should spend time with the characters to really know them and to see all their traits in action multiple times to really build that precious connection between the player and the fictional character to make them seem real, to resemble real-world people, not crash-dummies.

Atmosphere. Top-tier writing could entirely be ignored with some copyright free music and sprites drawn with a crayon by a toddler. One thing that Sakura Beach nails is the atmosphere of a beach episode in a high-budget slice-of-life anime. Atmosphere is also used to set the tone of the story or to sometimes screw with the player. Although not as important as the plot itself, the atmosphere is a necessary ingredient for a good game and it's what gives the player a first impression.

The sixth one fell out of my head as I was writing this. Oh well, I'm sure it was something important.

Don't play Sakura Beach, you can play it if you really want, just don't do what Sakura Beach did. I haven't played the second part yet, can somebody tell me if it's any better than the first one? I might have to write a post about it soon...

#sakura beach #visual novel #game review #gaming #summer