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bidisastersanji · 6 months

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Was thinking about French gendered terms and Zoro trying to suss out if Sanji’s into men and I had some thoughts and oops now i wrote a thing so here you go:

In the early days Zoro drives himself nuts trying to figure out if Sanji bats for his team too or not. He listens in intently whenever the conversation steers the cook towards talk of his past dalliances, but, just his luck, none of the words used indicate their gender. And there ain’t no fucking way in hell he’s asking him or anyone on the crew directly, lest they immediately understand how bad he has it for the stupid cook.

He bides his time, surely someday he’ll slip up and mention something about the people he’s slept with, right? And sure enough one day, at a feast, a drunken Usopp starts asking what people’s types are. His face still schooled into a nonchalant, neutral expression, he does his best to hide how desperately he waits for Sanji to speak up about his type, only to once again be met with more general terms about people- someone with a kind heart, dependable, an equal… he’s so concentrated on trying to pick out any gendered terms he doesn’t notice the weird look Nami throws his way at each new descriptor in Sanji’s list of desirable traits.

He’s always known Sanji speaks French, finding it endearing whenever the cook curses (even at him), whenever he goes into small little rants to himself, or the face he makes when he can only think of a word in French, rapidly snapping his fingers until it comes back to him. But it’s only when they get to a town where Sanji starts speaking to a vendor excitedly about his produce that he realizes just how much this thing, this endearing thing that’s always been there, truly affects him, and his face burns at how different the cook’s voice sounds when he actually speaks it, how enchantingly low and throaty the foreign syllables ring in his ears.

Attached to living another day, he decides that stealing a book from Robin is a bad idea, and resigns himself to ask her directly for a favour. He swallows his pride and asks if she can lend him a French learning book and a dictionary, curious as to whether he can learn it a bit, and understand whatever the hell Sanji keeps cursing and muttering about around him, and what kinds of insults he’s been throwing his way. With her ever mysterious smile plastered on her face, a chain of Robin’s arms retrieve two books from her library and hand them to him. “Do come to me if you have any questions, Mr. Swordsman. My French is pretty good if I do say so myself.”

He’s out of the room, red as a beet, before she even finishes that sentence.

Learning the curse words comes to him unsurprisingly quickly given how often he hears a litany of « putain de merde », « fait chier! » and « enfoiré! » spilling from the blonde’s distracting mouth.

He’s very happily surprised when he learns that French is apparently a heavily gendered language- and that he can glean someone’s gender just from whether the adjectives applied to the subject are masculine or feminine. Now if the stars aligned and the cook would talk about his love life in French…

Zoro starts by going through the basic first chapters, taking great pains to hide and quickly dissimulate it in his haramaki anytime someone walks in on him- especially the witch. It definitely changes his usual routine on his watch in the crows nest, he muses to himself.

Weeks, months pass, and he advances further in the lessons, his vocabulary slowly growing, while he often goes to his dictionary for the more… colorful insults Sanji throws his way. He never says a word of French himself, not knowing how he could even justify knowing any without looking suspicious, and pretty sure his pronunciation would be way off anyways. But he starts to really enjoy it, being able to understand even a tenth of the things Sanji thinks he can say without the crew (save Robin) understanding.

And then Saobaody happens. And now he doesn't have time to think about learning French, not if he wants to get strong enough. Not if he wants to protect his crew.

He's at the table with Mihawk and Perona when his mentor asks for the salt (Passez moi le sel, s'il vous plait), and he executes himself without thinking. A quiet settles over the room and he looks up to see those intense red eyes boring into him, unnerving as ever.

"You speak French?"

"Not really," he grumbles, not wanting more excuses to think of the shitty cook, and his shitty cooking, and his stupid curly brow.

"Then you will. Consider this a natural continuation of my trying to beat some manners into your brutish mind."

Two years later, and he can't wait for dartbrow to show up. His pronunciation may still be shit, but he can't wait to use his newfound skill to his advantage.

With his now solidified grasp of the language, he slowly begins to understand that what he at first though was a mistake on his part- that he must’ve missed a part of a sentence, or mixed up some words- was not an error at all. It turns out, some of the French things that Sanji yells at him aren’t insults at all.

In fact… they’re sometimes downright complimentary.

And that's definitely a problem for Zoro, who now not only needs to keep pretending that he doesn’t know what Sanji is saying, but needs to pretend he doesn’t understand it when Sanji screams at him that he has a “stupidly pretty face” or that his “tits are even bigger than Nami’s and how is that even fair” . He doesn't know what to make of it.

And then one day… the stars align.

It’s another post battle party, and the cook has been drinking a bit more than usual, a tightly gripped glass of wine in his left hand, a cigarette in his right. Zoro is nursing his very own barrel of Ale when he hears the conversation turn to more gossipy topics, as it usually does the further into the night they are.

“Chopper was really into that nurse on Zou, wasn’t he?” Usopp starts to poke fun at the crew’s youngest member, laughing as the reindeer turns all red and tries to deny it.

“I mean it makes sense that she’d be his type! Right Nami?”

Nami nods at him, grinning wickedly. “Yeah, not all of us can be into rich little blonde girls can we?”

“You’re right, some of us are into rich blue-haired princesses,” he shoots back.

"At least I had the balls to do something about it before I left her island-"

Zoro is already tuning them out when Sanji sits down next to Robin just a few feet away, across from him and the campfire, his tongue loosened from a few too many refills and unconsciously reverting to his native tongue.

"Ils ont de la chance, ces deux là." he gestures to Usopp and Nami. (They're lucky, these two.)

Robin smiles at the cook, wordlessly prompting him to continue his thoughts.

"Qu'est ce que je donnerais pour pouvoir avoir quelque chose de plus qu'un coup d'un soir." Sanji sighs wistfully, lighting his cigarette. (What I wouldn't give to have something more than a one night stand.")

Robin chuckles. "Ne sont-ils pas satisfaisants?" (Are they not satisfying?)

At this point Zoro has tuned everything out, intensely focused on hearing what the blonde has to say, and not at all feeling a small churn of jealousy in his stomach for whoever shared Sanji's bed. His heart initially skips a beat at the plural masculine pronoun ('ils') used by Robin before remembering its actual neutrality in this context, as it's referring to the ""one night stands", a masculine word. Damnit. French is so dumb.

"Tu sais bien que je ne dirais jamais de mal à propos des belles demoiselles qui ont bien voulu m'accorder ne serait-ce qu'un baiser ou une étreinte. J'ai de la chance rien que d'avoir pu exister en leur présence."

(You very well know I'd never say a bad word about any of the beautiful ladies who've been kind enough to give me even a kiss or an embrace. I'm lucky just to have existed in their presence.)

Zoro feels his heart drop, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach. He's always known the pervert cook has been into women. Why was this confirmation hitting him the way it was? His eye darts up at his two crewmates, confirming that only Robin has noticed his eavesdropping. She opens her mouth to say something but Sanji continues, the glow of the flames dancing against his flushed skin beautifully.

"Et dans mon état normal tu sais que, par respect pour les sensibilités d'une dame, je ne te divulge pas beaucoup de détails sur ceux qui font l'affaire le temps d'une nuit. "

(And in my normal state you know that, out of respect for a lady's sensibilities, I don't divulge many details about those who do the trick for a night.)

Ceux. That's a masculine word for "those", isn't it? Zoro shakily takes another sip of his drink.

The archeologist's smile widens. "Oh, ne te fait pas de soucis pour mes sensibilités. Je brûle d'envie d'en savoir plus, et ne m'épargne pas les détails..."

(Oh, please don't worry about my sensibilities. I'm burning to know more, and don't spare me the details...)

"Je ne suis que ton humble serviteur...si ça peut te faire plaisir" (I'm but your humble servant…if it pleases you). Sanji's cheeks seem a tad more flushed than before. "En vrai ce n'est pas qu'ils ne sont pas satisfaisants...c'est qu'il ne sont jamais... assez."

(It's not that they're not satisfying…it's that they're never...enough.)

"Ah? Et que recherches tu? Qu'est ce qui serait..."assez"?"

(Ah? And what are you looking for? What would be… "enough"?)

The cook exhales another cloud of smoke, and nervously looks around. His eyes settle on Zoro, and indecision flits across his eyes for a second before continuing. Zoro can feel his gaze, can almost make out the deliciously unfocused expression on the blonde's face in his peripheral vision as he continues speaking French. His heart feels like it might beat out of his ribcage.

"Lui." (Him.)

Zoro forgets how to breathe.

Part 2 up now , and part 3 part 4

#zoro x sanji #zosan #zosan fic #this was SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE TEXT POST #and then #AND THEN THIS HAPPENED #should I continue this #let me know in the tags #sanji x zoro #i can say french is dumb because i am #i have so many more thoughts about french speaking sanji #share yours with me pleaaaseee #zoro learns French #zoro learns french fic

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lomakes · 6 months

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Frostbite ❄️

#loz #legend of zelda #link #botw #totk #tears of the kingdom #lo art #I said this abt that horse art too but I swear this was supposed to be just a sketch #And then this happened

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farfaras · 1 year

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Part 2.

What if Eddie moved on from thinking Steve and Nancy should get back together when Jonathan came back and saw how they’re actually destined to be together even tho they still have shit to figure out.

I know it’s a popular hc that Eddie and Robin clock each other immediately BUT I still think that as two queer kids in a small backwards town they’re more worried about no one finding out about them so they wouldn’t notice someone else. So worried about themselves that they (like straight people) also fall into the mindset of ‘everyone is straight until proven otherwise’.

What’s the result of this? Eddie seeing how close Robin and Steve are and thinking there must be something there. And because Steve is a little more affectionate than Robin, now Eddie thinks he’s pining after her.

“Why aren’t you and Robin together?”

“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend.”

“I don’t buy it.”

So now Steve has to put up with Eddie constantly going on about how Steve should just ask her out already, what’s he waiting for, she probably likes him back.

It bothers Steve to no end. He wished society had advanced enough to realize that men and women can be platonic friends without having to explain themselves.

A nightmare.

And Steve would never out Robin, so telling him the truth wasn’t an option. And he really wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now, so that was out of the question. What could he do to get Eddie to understand that him and Robin would never happen?

Then he remembered. It seemed so distant but Steve actually tried to tell Robin he liked her once. It was kinda embarrassing to think about now, specially because he saw Robin as nothing more than a friend now. He couldn’t even remember what having a crush on her ever felt like. And maybe he never even had one, shitty friends and shitty parents maybe warped his perception and then he couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. Well, that was for another day. He could tell the difference now. He thinks.

He could just tell Eddie about that moment in starcourt. He would just leave out the part about Robin having absolutely bad taste in girls. Foolproof. Eddie would leave it alone now.

“What? She just rejected you and then you decided to become her best friend?” He looked surprised, like the idea was impossible to understand.

“And I don’t regret it. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re crazy.” Steve didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie looked at him and his expression was hard to read. “You’re telling me that after being rejected you didn’t need time away? Just jumped to being a platonic friend? Despite your feelings?” He scoffed. “I could never do that.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now I know you’re lying. You still like her?”

Steve really tried to convince Eddie that he didn’t like Robin anymore. But no matter what he would say he didn’t believe him.

So Steve gave up.

Now he goes along with it. It’s easier. It stopped Eddie from trying to set them up or whatever.

Except it didn’t.

Now Eddie came up with the absolute great idea of making her jealous. Which was so so ridiculous Steve had to hold back laughter. He didn’t mention how much Robin had heard about past dates. This was beginning to amuse him just a little bit.

“How would I even do that?” Steve asked, curious as to what Eddie would come up with.

“You know? Let me think about this.” He made a show of putting his hand on his chin, contemplating. “Show up at work with some marks on you neck. You know, see how she reacts to that knowledge.” Steve knows how Robin reacts to that. Before Vecna, on his endless quest to find ‘the one’ (what a waste) he had some hookups. One time he went into work with one or two hickeys on his neck. Robin wouldn’t even bat her eyes, just would ask ‘who was it now?’ and then ask if he would see her again. The answer was no. Eddie didn’t know this.

“Yeah well, I really don’t feel like going on a date and hooking up with someone just to use it to bait a reaction. Seems kinda cruel to the other person.” Steve thinks that should be enough to shut this idea down.

“Huh. Maybe you’re better than me because I didn’t even think about that.”

Steve doesn’t reply, just snorts. And he thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. There’s nothing else Eddie can really do or come up with. Right?

Wrong.

“I could do it.” Did Steve hear that right? Huh?

“What?” Steve asked.

“Give you a hickey. It’s no big deal, really.”

If you asked Steve why he said yes. Man, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He really doesn’t know! It’s like someone possessed him and he was moving his mouth, but it wasn’t him. Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it fast enough that would convince Eddie.

They were both sitting on the couch so Eddie just leaned in and started on a spot on the left side of his neck. Steve’s hand instinctively moved to the back of Eddie’s head. One wouldn’t think so based on its appearance but Eddie’s hair was surprisingly soft.

Suddenly there were teeth scraping his neck. Steve let out a noise that he hadn’t heard before. He accidentally pulled a little on Eddie’s hair, he was gonna apologize but Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he just hummed.

“Did you just bite me?”

Eddie pulled back and sneered. “Sorry. I let my impulsive thoughts win.” What does that even mean?

Steve was gonna ask if that did it but then Eddie moved to his lap, straddling him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the other side?” Makes sense? Honestly his mind was getting a little mushy and was only focusing on Eddie’s weight on him. When Eddie leaned in again, Steve’s hands traveled to rest on his hips. Eddie’s on his shoulders to have leverage, his hips hovering now.

Steve tipped his head back to give him a little more space. With more space Eddie seemed to be satisfied with that spot and moved lower, however this next one was sensitive to Steve, he’s always known that. He was gonna say so but he couldn’t, Eddie was already on it. He let out a breathy sound and gripped Eddie’s hips tighter making him slam back on his lap. He thinks Eddie moaned, he’s not sure tho. “Sorry.” He muttered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy this.

He did.

Maybe he should put a stop to it.

He hasn’t so far.

It went on a little longer. Some hands wandering. Some sounds uttered. Minds getting floaty.

He knew it was coming to an end when Eddie started leaving kisses to soothe the spots, he trailed until he got to his ear. Which he actually licked. It was probably to make a joke but it only made Steve shiver.

“I think you’re done.” Eddie said. He hesitated a second before climbing off his lap.

Steve knew he looked winded. Eddie tried to look casual but he’s known him for a while and could see that it was feigned casualness.

“Uh. Good.” Lame. Steve is lame.

Mike Wheeler was right because Steve Harrington is lame.

How is he gonna explain this to Robin?

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buildoblivionthenwewilltalk · 13 days

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a time lady

#13 has never looked this serene in her life but hey #so I was watching arc of infinity right #and realised that High Chancellor Thalia’s dress so looks like a 16th century burgundinian/‘the Holbein Anne of Cleves portrait’ dress #and then this happened #possibly my nerdiest art ever lol #I almost drew lala in this fit but I haven’t drawn 13 in ages sooooo have #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #Jodie Whittaker #Doctor who #Gallifrey #time lord #time lady #my art #fanart #minsart #they should have put Jodie in time lord garb tbh she would so pull it off

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turtle-ika · 1 year

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“Take care of him for me, will ya. Chompy Picasso.”

#i had some thoughts #and then this happened #3 turtles #tmnt #TMNT 2012 #tmnt raphael #tmnt slash #tmnt spike #tmnt chompy #my art #my stuff #teenage mutant ninja turtles #digital art #fanart #raph and his turtles #:'')

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dumbpilots · 3 months

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bradley's been looking forward to this dinner reservation forever. it took four months to get his name on the list and it was only because he knew a guy who knew a guy. so when natasha calls him 30 minutes before their reservation to say she can't come (impeccable timing, really), bradley's not only disappointed, he's pissed.

"nat there's a $200 hold on my credit card that they're going to charge if i cancel this late!"

"i'm sorry bro. there's no way i can get there in time. anyone else you can take? or put on your big boy pants and eat dinner by yourself."

"they'll still charge me $100 for one person cancelling, nat. you better venmo me for this." he hangs up on her.

---

and that's how bradley finds himself loitering outside the restaurant, scoping out unsuspecting passerbys, looking for his mark.

he asks a total of four people (#1 "dude, no?", #2 completely ignored, #3 "sorry, not interested", #4 "ew, creep") before he starts to get hopeless. the reservation has already started and he only has a 10 minute window before he's out $200. just as he's about to call it a loss and head inside to the restaurant, he locks eyes with him. well, here's goes nothing.

"excuse me! i'm so sorry to bother you, but i have quite an insane ask."

"oh yeah? shoot." his eyes are sparkling. don't ruin this, bradshaw.

"well, i made reservations with a friend to this restaurant here." he points behind him. "but she just cancelled on me. they're going to charge me $100 if i go in alone, or $200 in about... seven minutes if i don't go in at all."

"ahh... sounds like quite the predicament." bradley can feel his eyes on him.

"soo.. what do you say? fifteen, twenty minutes tops of your time and a drink on me?"

"you got yourself a date. i'm jake." he quirks a smile and extends his hand.

"bradley." he has a good feeling about this.

---

one drink turns into three, the food tastes like paper for all he knows. he's too busy concentrating on the new language that is jake seresin.

(bradley's pockets are much lighter when they leave, but they burn with the weight of jake's phone number)

#hangster #sereshaw #bradley's in charge of his own destiny #but nat would say she is #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #tgm au ramblings #i watched a tiktok of someone complaining about rezzie fees #and then this happened #meetcute #nat requests a $100 venmo because she deserves a thank you #bradley denies it

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icarianstars · 9 months

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Before Regulus entered the cave, he stood outside it on the rocky cliff and watched as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in orange and gold. He whispered a final goodbye to James, and for the first time in over a year, he let himself cry.

#I’m just going to apologise now #to save time #I was listening to Fourth of July the other day and the line ‘it was night when you died my firefly’ really stuck in my head for some reaso #and then this happened #so yeah #also if you’ve never listened to Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens go listen to it #but fair warning:#1. it’s about death and it’s super depressing #and #2. it made me cry #and there’s not a lot of songs that I can genuinely say that about #it’s just so black siblings coded #and it breaks my heart every time I listen to it #regulus black #marauders #marauders era #jegulus #the black siblings #my art

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agoodroughandtumble · 2 months

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Zoro x F!Reader - What You Get

Status: Complete Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader Summary: Reader wakes up a little excited Warning(s): 18+ Language, implied smut, maybe somnophilia

You sighed contentedly, letting your fingers curl through short strands of green hair. Usually you would be out of bed by now and having breakfast but on this particular morning you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the covers. Having woken up with your chest almost touching Zoro’s back you had shuffled ever so slightly closer, careful not to awake him and started playing with his hair. Calm, lazy mornings like this were your favourite and although you loved the infectious energy from the rest of the crew, few things could beat the serenity of watching Zoro sleep.

The hand in his hair dropped to his waist, wrapping around him and pulling yourself closer. His back was smooth and warm against your bare chest. As you lay in the stillness your thoughts began to wander to the night before. Zoro had been unusually gentle – long and slow kisses, languid, deep thrusts as he whispered into your ear. It had been … strange. Not unwelcome, just different. You racked your brain trying to remember anything that he had said in the hopes of providing some insight but when his cock had been moving inside you just right, well, how could you be blamed for forgetting everything else? Your thighs pressed together automatically at the memory. This was always the problem – every night shared with Zoro just left you craving more the next day. It didn’t matter what you were doing. Intrusive thoughts would make it almost impossible to concentrate on anything other than your next tryst, especially when last night’s activities had been more… you weren’t sure what. But you knew you wanted it again.

You slung a leg over his thigh, pressing yourself further against him and started kissing along the back of his neck and in between his shoulder blades. Zoro stirred a little under your touch, his reaction emboldening you to sit up slightly and continue your affections along his neck, nibbling lightly as you did so. A small moan escaped his lips, going straight between your legs. You continued your administrations, trying to coax out another moan but Zoro, whether consciously or not, had other ideas. He removed your hand from his waist and you were about to admit defeat until he pressed it against his crotch. You gasped at the feeling of his hardened cock.

“I thought that’s what you wanted.” Even through Zoro’s half mumble you could hear his smirk.

“I thought you were asleep.”

His hand kept yours in place as he moved his hips slightly, seeking out some friction. “It’s hard to sleep when you’re being molested.”

You scoffed, trying to hide the embarrassment at being caught. “Hardly molesting, just… affection.”

“Hmm. So you’re not interested in this?” He asked, punctuating ‘this’ with another thrust, pressing your hand harder against his cock.

You cleared your throat, trying to sound nonchalant. “I could take it or leave it.”

In one swift move, you were suddenly pinned underneath him, staring up at those deliciously devilish eyes and heart quickening. It was embarrassing the effect he had on you – sickening, almost. With one hand he held both of your wrists together above your head, the other hand was gripping firmly onto your thigh. You were completely trapped. His eyes seemed to be scanning you, and although he had seen you naked countless times you couldn’t help but feel completely exposed. As if the man was toying with you, just seconds away from devouring you whole. You almost forgot how to breathe.

Zoro clearly seemed to notice this, evidence by the almost demonic smirk firmly plastered on his features. “And what would I get out of you taking it?”

The enunciation had you squirming against him, head filled with flashbacks from last night of you doing exactly that. You wanted, no, needed him inside you, needed the fullness only he could give you, but damn it if he wasn’t being such a shit about it.

By now, you knew him well enough to know what he wanted. He didn’t want to just have you – he wanted to take you, to conquer, to win. He wanted you to be begging because you had reached the point of no return; just spreading your legs would be akin to rolling over and telling him actually you just wanted to sleep. And you knew, with complete clarity, that by asking that question he wanted you to be desperate to appease him. That you would be so unashamedly needy you’d be promising to debase yourself in any which way he wanted. Well, he wasn’t going to get that. Your brain scrambled for a retort – his hand rubbing up and down your thigh decidedly not helping. He was resorting to dirty tactics.

After a second or two, you wriggled your hands free of his grasp and pushed yourself up onto your elbows, head tilted a little. “What you get is me crying out your name if I come on your cock.”

The word ‘if’ wasn’t lost on him, and for a moment you could swear his brain malfunctioned. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“You little minx,” Zoro growled, forcefully pushing your thighs apart. “That’s exactly what I’m going to get.”

#this was supposed to be some valentines inspired fluff #and then this happened #opla #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #one piece live action

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