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thygoddessouijathicc · 1 year

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DSAF Rainworld AU Fanfic: The start of our adventure

(Disclaimer: Ok so I still haven’t finished Rainworld. However I think I’m far enough in (on the shoreline! :D) to start this, plus people like my slugcat art, and I got a minimal amount of likes on my AU ideas. Go check those out if this is the first you see of this.

So players gonna play, Ouija’s gonna awkwardly mash together two of her hyperfixations together and show you the mutilated horrifying monstrosity produced as if it’s a cute kitten.

PEACE!)

It has been 9 cycles since the orange slugcat’s little sister has gone missing. She still had yet to return. His parents had not allowed the slugcat near the trench she had fallen into, but had carved out a little trail after every rainfall to help her return if she still lived.

The orange slugcat was tired of simply waiting for her to appear and decided to take matters into his own hands.

It was a bright morning, the orange slugcat had awoken before the rest of his family, and ventured outside their nest, taking care not to slip as the ground was loose from the last rain. He had reached the pit before his family had awoke and stood hovering over it for a moment.

The orange slugcat took a deep breath and hopped inside.

The fall to the ground was rough as the slugcat lands directly on his face, he can’t afford to express this pain. To live in this world was to live in fear. Fear of hunger. Fear of predators. Fear of water. And most of all, fear of the rain.

If he gets caught in the worlds downpour he will be quickly crushed flat or drowned, he doesn’t know which one will happen first and both are equally bad.

Squeezing under large stone towers, and through pipe after pipe, and up a pole, flipping his way into a room full of batflies. The orange slugcat pounces on the batflies and eats them alive, one after another until his belly is full.

The slugcat pops back out of the pipe, jumping across an overhanging piece of metal from an age long passed and grabbing another pole. He crawls into another pipe.

The next room is empty save for a pit and a pipe on the other end. Feeling the thunderous sound of rain starting to come down the slugcat realizes it’s all or nothing now, there is no point in going back to explore. He leaps across the pit with some difficulty, and rushes towards the pipe.

He finds himself falling into the next room, no clear way back up.

Fortunately his mad rush gambit has payed off as there appears to be a shelter. He recognizes it as one due to the faint smell of slugcat and danglefruit juice in a pipe nearby.

Shaking off the pain of his new wounds the slugcat jumps up to the shelter pipe right as the rains start coming down, surely to flood the area.

It doesn’t matter, by the time he wakes up, the water will be all but gone.

Once he gets inside the shelter, it closes. The orange slugcat recognizes the scent of his sister. She has survived the fall! Well… he knew that much. If she hadn’t she would be home by now. If he hadn’t he would be too. People tend to wake up every day where they last slept if they died. The black and white slugcat wasn’t here, so he surmises she must have gotten further than this. Possibly trying to get back home.

The orange slugcat is bigger and stronger than his little sister and he needed less food. He should be able to catch up to her despite all the wasted cycles.

Weirdly she’s not the only slugcat he smells, nor the most recent. It seems slugcats come through here often.

As the orange slugcat succumbs to his hibernation, he dreams of the days he spent playing with his little sister and older brother…

(Note: Those of you who know rainworld and those who do not, welcome to the DSAF Rainworld AU! Brought to you by a fan of both things wanting to awkwardly fuse them together into something weird! The story will be mostly a retelling of Rainworld’s storyline with the addition of DSAF elements as well as the fact that once the DLC is out and I know how spearmasters would work, I’ll implement Dave as one and he’ll join Jack on the magical death adventure to find his sister! Btw if it’s not clear of if you haven’t read my initial post introducing the AU, Jack fills the role of the monk.

Btw take a Slugcat Jack faceplanting:)

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tinselgossip · 2 years

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HALLOWEEN TRIVIA

FRIDAY, 10.28; 8PM - 11PM

FILMS, HISTORY, & TUNES

LOCATED IN THE LOUNGE

GENERAL HALLOWEEN

Halloween is the second busiest holiday after which one?

Which holiday has the top candy sales, Valentine’s Day or Halloween?

In which country did Halloween originate?

Which phobia means you have an intense fear of Halloween?

According to superstition, if you stare into a mirror at midnight on Halloween, what will you see?

Halloween has its origins in which ancient Celtic festival?

What is the significance of seeing a spider on Halloween?

According to superstition, a person born on Halloween has what particular ability?

How many people were hanged during the Salem Witch Trials?

Who is said to haunt the White House Rose Garden?

Which country celebrates the Day of the Dead starting at midnight on Oct. 31?

What do people in New England call the night before Halloween?

In 2004, the city of Hollywood banned the use of what party item on Halloween?

Many people in Mexico celebrate Halloween by eating what ghoulish candy treat?

It’s illegal to dress like a nun or priest for Halloween in which US state?

Who famously died on October 31, 1926?

What two countries are widely credited with originating the idea of wearing costumes on Halloween?

What does the word ‘Hallow’ in relation to this holiday mean?

What do Halloween colors, black and orange, signify?

What do people “bob” for on Halloween?

According to a survey by the National Retail Federation, on average, shoppers 18 and older will each spend how much on Halloween candy?

Where does the term "jack o'lantern" come from?

Where is the world's longest haunted house?

Who was the first First Lady to decorate the White House for Halloween?

Halloween was celebrated for the first time ever in the United States in what year?

What was the first city in the United States to plan an official Halloween celebration?

Why do some people wear their clothes inside out on Halloween?

What does RIP stand for?

What is a fear of clowns called?

What does the word 'witch' mean?

What is a collection of witches called?

What was the name of Dracula’s sidekick?

Transylvania is a region in which country?

FILM

In 1973, what was the movie that convinced Americans to throw away their Ouija Boards?

Who was the first actor to play Wolf Man?

Every Halloween, Charlie Brown helps his friend Linus wait for what character to appear?

Which actor played Dr. Frank-n-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Who directed The Nightmare before Christmas?

Which vampire said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m going to give you the choice I never had.”

In The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, how many people are killed with a chainsaw?

What’s the body count for the film Halloween?

Which year was the movie Freaks made?

In the original Alien film, how many alien eggs were made for the egg chamber inside the downed spacecraft?

How many Oscars was Psycho nominated for?

Which Ghostbusters actor also co-wrote the screenplay for the movie?

What classic horror film features the quote, “They’re coming to get you, Barbara”?

Which horror movie icon has the highest on-screen body count?

In the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, what is the name of Leatherface’s family?

How many of the Halloween movies did John Carpenter, the author of the series, direct?

What sort of mask does Michael Myers wear in the original Halloween?

Which film in the Paranormal Activity franchise was the most commercially successful?

In The Nightmare Before Christmas, what was Oogie Boogie made of?

What are the names of the Addams Family's pet piranhas?

What was the first Hollywood mainstream movie to feature a werewolf?

Jason wore what type of mask in the Friday the 13th film series?

What year was the movie Young Frankenstein released?

What’s the name of the young witch in Halloweentown?

Which Disney movie got banned in Denmark?

What’s the screaming masked person in Scream called?

Which movie tops Rotten Tomatoes' list of the Scariest Horror Movies Ever?

Where do Herman, Lily, Grandpa, and the rest of the Munsters live?

What was the name of the green monster in Ghostbusters?

CANDY

What was the original name for candy corn?

What’s the color order of a piece of candy corn, from the base to the point?

How is the mystery flavored Dum-Dum lollipop made?

How many pieces of candy does the average household give to each trick or treater on Halloween?

What is the original name for what we now call Candy Corn?

How is the “mystery flavor” of Dum Dums lollipops made?

How did the Charleston Chew bar get its name?

How many pounds of candy corn are produced each year?

What’s the most searched for Halloween candy on Google?

What’s the mega-popular Halloween candy that was named after a horse?

Who invented cotton candy?

What type of candy did E.T. enjoy?

Which candy is named after a Broadway play?

Which chewy fruit candy made its debut in 1940?

Four sticks of wafers covered in chocolate is a?

Which tiny candy is nicknamed the geek treat?

The candy that is a movie theater staple are?

What candy was supposed to replicate the taste of a malted milkshake?

What year was bubble gum invented?

What dollar figure is the name of this Nestle candy bar?

LITERATURE

In which play by Shakespeare do three witches say, “Double, double, toil and trouble”?

Who wrote the novel Frankenstein?

What is the first name of Dr. Frankenstein?

When and where was the first appearance of Halloween in a fiction work?

In which Grimm fairy tale can we find a witch with a house made out of gingerbread?

Who wrote the classic novel Dracula?

What was the name of the monster Frankenstein created?

In which classic spooky story would you find the character Ichabod Crane?

Which acclaimed fantasy and sci-fi writer wrote The Graveyard Book?

The Goosebumps series of books first gave readers the chills in 1992 - but who writes them?

LJ Smith is best known for creating which series of supernatural novels?

What - or who - is the main ingredient in Esmelia Sniff’s collection of grisly recipes?

Which female American horror writer, who died in 1965, has had works published which include ‘The Haunting of Hill House’, ‘The Lottery’ and ‘The ‘Sundial’?

Jay Anson wrote which 1977 novel which was subsequently turned into a series of 11 horror films released over the course of 34 years, from 1979 to 2013?

Which writer of gothic fiction’s works include the series of books ‘The Vampire Chronicles’, which includes the 1976 novel ‘Interview with the Vampire’?

Thomas Harris’s 1988 novel ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ was actually a sequel – what was the name of the first book in the series?

‘The Phantom of the Opera’ has been famously adapted into a Lloyd-Webber musical, but who wrote the original novel, first published in French as a serial in 1909?

In Daphne du Maurier’s ‘Rebecca’, what was the name of the sinister housekeeper?

What is the name of the youngest Baudelaire child in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events?

What supernatural power does Carrie possess in Stephen King's blood-soaked novel of the same title?

Who is the first victim in "The Crucible"?

MUSIC

Complete this lyric from the hit Halloween song The Monster Mash: “I was working in the lab, late one night…”

According to the well-known song, which family is said to be “creepy, kooky, mysterious, and spooky”?

The song “This is Halloween” is featured in which movie?

A 1984 song asked, “Who you gonna call?”, and the answer is what?

Who sings the song “Spooky Scary Skeletons”?

Name the band that sang Pet Sematary which originally belonged to the 1989 cult classic film of the same title?

What year was Rockwell's paranoid classic Somebody's Watching Me released?

"An invisible man, Sleeping in your bed", is the lyric from which hit belonging to the '80s movie of the same title?

In what year did The Rocky Horror Picture Show first open?

Which group famously sang about zombies?

Name the lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins.

Name the legendary singer who starred played the Goblin King in Labyrinth.

PUMPKINS

Which state in the U.S.A. produces the most pumpkins?

Is pumpkin a fruit or vegetable?

What are two other vegetables that have been carved on Halloween?

From which region in the world do pumpkins originate?

Is a pumpkin a fruit or a vegetable?

Pumpkins can be orange, white, green, or what other color?

How do pumpkins grow?

#ttownhw22

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ratscabies · 2 years

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the next two days at work are halloween party days!! the kids' parents have been advised to dress their kids in black, orange, purple, green, but not actual costumes bc we don't want to get them messy at school

I'm gonna wear my new bat sweater tomorrow and my ouija board sweater on friday

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oitnb · 6 years

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Put your hands together for, Ouija!

#oitnb #orange is the new black #oitnb season 5 #ouija #litchfield #netflix

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oitnb--confessions · 7 years

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thought i would post this for you all to enjoy, hopefully it doesn’t get taken down!

#oitnb #oitnb confessions #oitnb season 5 #Orange is the new black #orange is the new black confessions #orange is the new black season 5 #ouija #Nicky Nichols #lorna morello #red

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stonerzines · 3 years

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“ain’t that just the way”

Over the Garden Wall collection pieces are still available! I’m so proud of this collection and it makes me so happy to see these pieces find new loving homes!

Reminder that I have a 15% off code sitewide, “WHEELCHAIR”, to help with clearing inventory, moving costs, and covering my wheelchair!

[ID1: textured black background with a hot pink/magenta resin tray with a picture of Greg and Jason funderberker in the center with the words “candy trail” made from alphabet beads

ID2: textured black background with a green resin coffin box with Jason funderberker in the lid

ID3: textured black background with a small painting of the Enoch on a wooden round

ID4: textured black background with a yellow and black resin tray with an image of the woodsman holding up a lantern in the center

ID5: a wooden plaque painted with Jason funderberker in the middle, some teapots, and candies. Around the images are the words “ain’t that just the way” in black text

ID6: black background with a small wooden round with a rabbit skull on it, black lines coming out from behind it, and a white howlite cabochon on top

ID7: a blue ouija board on a textured black background. The ouija board has purple text and owl designs on it with red and orange thread embedded.

ID8: a bronze painted wooden plaque with fancy text that says “Quincy Endicott brand tea”

ID9: a golden painted wooden plaque with fancy bronze text that says “Margueritte Grey Tea Co”

ID10: a textured black background with a forest green large ouija board with various characters from over the garden wall and orange text/designs]

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lvcygraybaird · 7 years

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#oitnb #orange is the new black #zirconia #ouija #joe caputo #5x02 #oitnbcaps

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fictionalwh0ree · 2 years

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characters

✧ criminal minds

emily prentiss // spencer reid // derek morgan // penelope garcia // aaron hotchner // jj jareau //

✧ outer banks

rafe cameron // jj maybank // sarah cameron // john b routledge // pope heyward // kiara carerra // topper thornton

✧ friends

phoebe buffay // monica geller // rachel green // joey tribianni // chandler bing // ross geller //

✧ the outsiders

dallas winston // sodapop curtis // ponyboy curtis // darry curtis // two-bit mathews // steve randle // johnny cade // cherry valance //

✧ karate kid/cobra kai

young!daniel larusso // young!johnny lawrence // carmen diaz // miguel diaz // tory nichols // robby keene // eli "hawk" moskowitz // demetri alexopoulos // moon //

✧ grey's anatomy

addison montgomery // meredith grey // alex karev // george o'malley // cristina yang // derek shepherd // lexie grey // mark sloan // amelia shepherd // carina deluca // jackson avery // april kepner // jo wilson // kai bartley // arizona robbins // callie torres //

✧ gilmore girls

lorelai gilmore // rory gilmore // luke danes // lane kim // paris geller // dean forester // tristan dugray // jess mariano //

✧ stranger things

joyce byers // robin buckley // max mayfield // elevn // mike wheeler // will byers // lucas sinclair // steve harrington // billy hargrove // eddie munson //

✧ eternals

thena // ajak // sersi // ikaris // druig // makkari // kingo // gilgamesh // eros //

✧ euphoria

rue bennett // jules vaughn // cassie howard // maddy perez // kat hernandez // fezco // chris mckay // nate jacobs //

✧ shameless

fiona gallagher // lip gallagher // carl gallagher // mandy milkovich // veronica fisher // kevin ball // svetlana yevgenivna // sandy milkovich //

✧ orange is the new black

alex vause // nicky nichols // lorna morello // dayanara diaz // poussey washington // tasha "taystee" jefferson // tricia miller // maritza ramos // piper chapman // stella carlin // carmen aziza (ouija) //

✧ daisy jones and the six

daisy jones // karen sirko // graham dunne// billy dunne // camila dunne // simone jackson // bernie //

✧ superatural

sam winchester // dean winchester // ruby (season 4) // castiel //

✧ celebrities

harry styles // drew starkey // auston matthews // matt dillon // diane lane // vinnie hacker // billie eilish // sadie sink // angelina jolie // winona ryder // leonardo dicaprio // joan jett // chris evans // louis partridge // natasha lyonne // shawn wayans //

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mymothershumility · 2 years

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SPOOKY AESTHETIC EDITION

Bold all of the themes that apply to your muse’s aesthetic. Italicize all of themes that apply occasionally. Remember to copy and paste to a new post. Do not reblog.

TAGGING: { @neverflownwithme & @fullrangeofemotions & @truetargaryen & @xcoatlicuex & @thequeenmaker & @aladyofwinterfell & @ialwayswasthebest & @adornishviper & @viperparamour & @fairytalesandstars & anyone else ~ }

#;headcanon #;traits #;outofjayd

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jaskiersvalley · 4 years

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I just read your whole blog and your writing is amazing. 😍

Your name cropping up in my notes always makes me smile. It warms my little heart to know people come back for more! Thank you for being so sweet and reaching out with kind words as well as the likes on posts! Have a small ficlet as a token of my gratitude.

Life, Jaskier mused, had a way of working out. Things happened or didn’t happen because something better was around the corner. Which was exactly what he found to be the literal case when house hunting. The properties he was looking at were all dingy, damp and pretty miserable but, on his wages, it was all he could afford. Until he walked out of yet another flat that could only be described abysmal and turned a corner. The house he saw was for sale and he let out a soft sigh. It was perfect. Small, dainty cottage that looked like it needed a little bit of love to be at its full glory. Sadly, such a home was far beyond his means. Or was it? He saw the estate agent coming out, looking rather morose and he just had to approach.

By some miracle, the cottage was in his budget. Jaskier immediately demanded to see it, cooing at the features and was sold on the place before he heard that it came fully furnished. The fact the bed was bolted to the ground was curious. Especially as it looked old and unused. The previous owner had set up a mattress in the corner of the kitchen and seemed to have slept there.

“Why is it so cheap?” Jaskier asked and the estate agent looked uncomfortable.

“Nobody has owned the house for more than a year. Some say it’s haunted but it’s probably just a bit of draft and old wiring. The current owner wants to move as soon as possible, hence the low price.”

Jaskier nodded, he needed a bit of time to think and decided to wander around a little more. Ending up in the garden, he looked up the history of the house. No deaths, no murders but a very rapid turnover rate of ownership. Well, the house called to him. It was perfect for everything he wanted from a home.

“I’ll take it.”

In what was possibly the quickest sale in the world, Jaskier was moving in a scant month later. He smiled as he threw the curtains open, admired his new home and decided to celebrate. Going out for a drink turned into staggering back home late at night and laughing to himself as he fell into bed.

In the morning, Jaskier was stunned to find a glass of water next to him. Maybe drunk him wasn’t as much of an asshole as he thought. Marvellous!

It was small things like that. Jaskier’s keys are always hung up on the hook by the door, even if he deliberately left them on the coffee table. His washing had a habit of piling up in the sink - never done but always stacked nearby. Maybe there was something to the whole house being haunted. The most sensible thing, obviously, was was to get an ouija board and see what happened. Nothing. Jaskier was absolutely put out by that, even if he couldn’t shake the feeling of not being alone.

Usually, Jaskier slept through the night without trouble. Rarely did he wake up. But it did happen every now and then, which was probably why he turned with a soft huff and found himself staring at some large, looming figure slipping back into the bedroom.

“Seriously?” That was the first thing out of his mouth, too tired and sleepy to deal with an intruder. Who seemed to freeze before blending into the dark. By the time Jaskier put his light on, there was nothing there.

“You could at least do me the courtesy of introducing yourself.” Really, Jaskier should have been screaming and calling the police about an intruder but he was just too damn tired. He’d lived a good life, if this was it, this was it. He’d die content. Though a bit pissed that he couldn’t finish the show he was watching.

As he expected, there was silence. Common sense did win out and Jaskier did a quick sweep of the house, checked the door was locked and got back into bed.

“You know, it’s rude to wake someone. If you want to do anything untoward, please wait until the morning.”

He could have sworn he heard a grunt of agreement from under the bed but it could have been the springs in the mattress.

In the morning, nothing had changed but Jaskier suspected he wasn’t quite alone. So he chattered away, filled the silence and waited for whoever it was to come out. But, despite the feeling never going away, there was no food missing form his cupboards, nothing stolen and the strange little habits of the house continued.

At least, they did until he was eating pizza in bed (a bad habit, he knew) and dropped a slice and it bounced onto the floor. Cursing up a storm, Jaskier had to set his box aside, he had to put his phone away too and, by the time he leaned over the bed to pick up the offending piece, it was gone. But the grease stain remained.

“If you’re hungry, I could have just shared,” he groused. The stain was going to be a pig to get out. Still, fresh grease was easier to remove than dried in old crud. So Jaskier hauled himself out of bed and got the supplies, plus a plate for whoever seemed to live under his bed.

The grease stain was gone by the time he returned.

“Huh. Thanks,” he said and put a couple of slices of pizza on the plate before putting it on the ground. “What’s your name anyway?”

There was no response. The plate wasn’t touched as he watched. In the end, Jaskier gave up and returned to his phone. From under the bed, some crunching sounds drifted out, almost like....

“Please don’t eat my plates.”

“Sorry.” The voice was gruff, low and it made Jaskier’s heart pick up.

“It’s okay. Eat the food on it but next time, just put the plate in the sink.”

Next time? Jaskier was probably going insane. Making his mind up, he quickly twisted to look under the bed and was met with two, almost glowing amber eyes. Now he really needed a name.

Geralt, as the thing under his bed turned out to be called, was really rather shy and not very forthcoming with words. It took Jaskier weeks to coax him out. At least he took a humanoid form which was nice. That is, nice of him to accommodate a human. And very nice to look at too, he had chosen an aesthetically pleasing form.

The next step, Jaskier decided was to befriend the monster under his bed.

“Witcher.” Geralt had told him more than once. The one time Jaskier called him a monster, he had looked utterly dejected and spent three days under the bed without talking. It seemed that even supernatural creatures had feelings.

Things made so much more sense now though. Geralt liked his house to be tidy to an extent. The keys lived on the hook, the dishes in the sink. He was quite adept at chasing down and eating dust bunnies but refused to have anything to do with water. Until Jaskier introduced him to baths. Then, it was like trying to pry a cat from a basket at the vet’s.

There were other perks to befriending the monster under his bed. Geralt made for a wonderful snuggle companion. At first, Jaskier had slept with his hand dangling over the side of the bed, purely by accident. When he woke up to a hand in his, he gave it a squeeze and that was that. In a scant week, Geralt had migrated from under the bed hand holding to cuddles in bed. It was Jaskier who took the first step and pressed their lips together.

After a lovely evening spent on the couch, Jaskier was snoozing against Geralt’s broad chest, still on the sofa. They would need to move eventually but they were both quite content with their positions for the time being. The peace was interrupted by Geralt going stiff under Jaskier and turning his head towards a window. They heard the muffled clinking of glass breaking and that was when Jaskier realised what was happening. He was about to be burgled.

Gentle but firm hands moved him away from Geralt’s chest and he watched in fascination as the warm oranges of Geralt’s eyes melted into pitch black with darkened veins spreading around them like poisoned tendrils. Ignoring the gruff “stay”, Jaskier scuttled after Geralt, in time to see him pounce on the burglar who was brandishing a gun. It seemed, the intent was more than just to take a few valuables. But Jaskier didn’t have time to panic because Geralt moved, darkness enveloped the intruder and then Geralt was standing there, heaving a little.

“Did you-” Jaskier gawped. “Did you just eat him?”

The soft belch told him everything he needed to know and he marched up to Geralt, gripping his cheeks lightly.

“Thank you for saving me. But that is disgusting. No more kisses until you brush your teeth.”

Resigned, Geralt nodded. Maybe, if he was going to the bathroom, he could convince Jaskier to get in the tub with him. It would be a worthy trade.

#geraskier #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #tldr: geralt is the monster living under jaskier's bed

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strawberrymilkloadingscreen · 4 years

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Giving Up the Ghost Chapter 1 (Rise TMNT) (Donnie x Black&Female! Reader)

“Holy shit they’re turtle demons.”

You hadn’t believed April when she said that the demons and ghosts you were obsessed with lived in her tiny apartment. Every time you’d gone over in the last year and a half there hadn’t been that sort of itchy energy that you associated with demons, or the more groggy and cold one that came with ghosts. In fact, she didn’t live in a building considered a hot haunting zone online, her entire block was ghost free, and even the little sub place she was working at didn’t have a lick of phantom energy.

April O’Neil was as normal as could be.

However, there wasn’t anything you could say to refute the very clear evidence in front of you. Four gigantic turtles with weapons were crowded in your friend’s living room, yellow paint splattered on them, April, and the walls.

April scratched her head and ended up smearing hazard yellow paint through her cherry red curls. “Heeeey. What’re you doing here?”

“Me? Can we start talking about them?”

“Them? Psht! They’re just-“

A turtle in blue set a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, April. Talking about secret hobbies is embarrassing, but coming clean will do the body good. Like milk.”

“Leo…”

“The truth is that we’re… cosplaying.”

You rolled your eyes at that. “Seriously? That’s the best thing you can come up with? Even without my token I can practically see the energy coming from you.”

“Human girl say what?”

“She probably means the trace bits of mutagen from the oozsquitos in our blood.” A purple one muttered. “Which, I mean, is fair and accurate. Better question is how she can see anything since looking at her she’s obviously a normal everyday human.”

“WHOOOA!” You leaned back as an orange clad turtle got eye level with your chest. You weren’t sure when he got there, and that part concerned you more than a little. “What’s that!”

“What’s… Oh.” You plucked up the gem that had a perfect hole in the middle of it. “It’s the token. It lets me see ghosts, demons, but not 5’3 turtles dressed in neon orange.”

“It’s a great color. Is that violet or lavender?”

“I dunno? What are you?”

“Well I’m a warm shade of green with-“

The largest turtle plucked the smaller orange one up with one hand, and easily set him with all the others. “We’re mutants that are turtles… And ninjas. So don’t say a thing or we’ll make you disappear.”

“Isn’t that Hypno’s thing?” The one in blue wondered.

“Leo I’m trying to keep her from spilling our secret, annnd she’s fainting.”

You were in fact fainting into a pile of pure excitement and worry onto April’s paint splattered floor. The last thing you saw was April’s baseball bat, and four flinching turtles trying to get out her glitter encrusted door…

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You ended up waking up on your front porch with a bottle of vodka tucked under your arm. You weren’t sure if it was April’s way to say sorry, or if it was to give your landlord and other passerby the idea that you passed out drunk. Either way the booze was welcome as you made your way out of the muggy summer heat and into the ice cold of your apartment. Your roommate’s cat, Xena, meowed at your return and followed you about as you took off your boots at the door. You went to the counter and pushed aside empty Chinese takeout boxes and mail to make room for the vodka.

With that task completed you quickly stripped, and tossed out the paint encrusted clothes in the trash, before cramming yourself in the shower and scrubbing hard. “How was I not robbed and murdered?”

Probably because you looked crazy. A Ouija board shirt and some booze was enough to make a handful of people back away from you; a wonderful lesson that college parties and your small town had taught you. The wet paint was probably another great deterrent. Whatever the case you were thankful enough not to get mad at the splotches that wouldn’t scrub off your dark skin. You quickly hopped out and towel dried before pulling on some comfy clothes and going back into the kitchen.

You paused beside a large tank sitting on top of some stacked books. With a groan you popped down on your knees and peered inside, a soft smile curling on your lips as you watched the turtle sitting on a pastel rock. “Hey Venus. Comfy?”

“Awe, are you talking to your turtle?” Your skin jumped and you quickly stood rod straight. “Hey don’t get jumpy on me now. Just me.”

“I mean it’s normal to get jumpy when around a walking talking garbage disposal.”

“I’d be offended if it wasn’t true.”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed the bottle of vodka. “What are you even doing here, Ricky? Jessie won’t be back for another week.”

“Forgot my phone charger here last night.” He waved the blue device around. “Oh, by the way, there was another haunting out at my Ma’s. Said she saw the pots moving. Think you could take a look?”

Ghosts… Wait, that was why you went to go see April. You’d seen some new ghost documentary on a streaming service, and you’d made plans with her to see it. When you got there…

Turtles.

Well, the red one said they were also ninja. That sounded utterly ridiculous, but you weren’t inclined to argue with demons or ghosts. Not that you had met that many, four in total including the ones today, but you’d read enough materials to know that it would be stupid to do so! Old ladies out in China Town though…

“Sorry Ricky, but I’ve got my plate full. Can you tell her I’ll try to make it some other time?”

“No prob. Pretty sure she’s just lonely and making up stuff to get some visitors. Should really go out there and scrapbook with her again now that I think about it.” He slicked back his blue hair. “Anyway, I’m heading out. If Jessie calls tell them I want some nudes”

“…No.”

“How about ‘I love you’.”

“Better.”

You waited until you heard the soft click of the door and snap of the lock before you went over to the cabinet and popped open a soda. You took a good swig before adding a splash of the vodka, and going back to the living room. Xena decided to take over your legs, but you couldn’t complain as you grabbed your laptop and began to do what you did best. Blogs were examined, newspaper articles scanned, and plenty of folklore was cracked open between sips of your boozy treat.

There were plenty of things for ninja that would come up for New York City. Everything from comic-cons, movie sets, and even a few historical events for museums. You were getting something similar for turtles as well. A new friend donated to the zoo, a fundraiser for conservation, and plenty of art meant to beautify the city.

However, when you entered the terms for humanoid turtles that’s when things were getting sketchy. Strange photos out outlines in a fish and ladder market, far more convincing ones during the hippo turtle meme a few years back, and a shaky video of black blobs ziplining down to a rooftop pool.

The more that you saw them the less you were convinced these things were demons or ghosts. Some type of cryptid maybe? Aliens? However, the term ninja made you lean more towards monsters, to be more specific kappa. Turtles that would drown their victims, rip orbs out of asses, and had a strange love for cucumber. You ended up falling asleep with Xena asleep on your keyboard and the new knowledge armed in your brain.

That was why you found yourself standing outside April’s, now non glittery, door the next morning. You had a basket hanging off your arm, and your cellphone fisted in your free hand. You kicked at the door, and only moments later it was ripped open by a still yellow streaked April.

“Oh it’s you…”

“Don’t get all excited to see me.”

The two of you stood in silence for a long moment, nervous smiles on both your faces and the air thick with tension. You took a deep breath and held out the basket full of sake and kappa.

“Here!”

“What is it?”

You looked away, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip until it stung. “Well, you had kappa in your house, and I wanted to give that as a peace offering. I dunno how you managed to meet kappa of all things in NYC, but I’m not gonna judge… Or tell. Especially that last one.”

April stared at the basket for a long moment, before looking at you with an equally bewildered look. She held up a single finger, before pulling her phone out of her pocket and tapped something out on it. “Wha-? You think they’re monsters from Japanese folklore? Girl, you really went all out with that vodka, huh?”

“I dunno what they were. One minute I was in your house, and the next it’s a mess and you have huge ass turtles in there. Isn’t that just the most interesting thing to ever happen!”

“Ahhhh not really?”

“Well, I guess you’re used to it. That’s fair.”

April gave a soft sigh before opening her door up all the way, and gesturing for you to come inside. “Look, I think the two of us are gonna have to have a long talk. Want some coffee?”

“Only if you’ve got whipped creamer.”

“Don’t you know it.”

You followed her into the apartment and your nervousness melted away. "So how'd you meet them?" "Well it all started when I was a kid thanks to a sad sad trolling attempt..."

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