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tearofaeons · 5 years

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CAN YOU GUSH ABOUT ONE OF YOUR LEAGUE F/OS? JHIN OR THRESH OR BOTH IF YOU'D LIKE :3 -reallyintouglyfos

YEAH!? ABSOLUTELY. @reallyintouglyfos

I remember when i first started playing league :0 i preferred “passive” champs like Sona and Soraka, and refused to play tanks or anything that was “front line”, so, at the time, i didn’t like him for this exact reason. I saw his kit and playstyle as a big No Thanks.

“I could never play a champ like him!! he’s too aggressive”

So i pretended to hate him while secretly thinking he was kind of interesting, but you think i admitted it? no, i was a TOTAL TSUNDERE FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS!!!

Fastfoward to the day gave him a shot in a game of bots and then uhhh kept playing him non-stop for 4 weeks ._. and uh yeah. that’s how i fell in love with a skeleton. epic fail.

but i have my reasons ok.

But under read more because i’m shy òwò

He is! so! FUN! We “synergize” so well! so to speak. I can make plays and at the same time peel my ADC, which is great!! he’s my go-to support when i can’t play Sona -v-

So, he is a very cruel specter – obviously– but i really like this about him. I always enjoyed making the enemy team “suffer” by placing wards in the right places and never letting them kill the adc, so when i’m playing with him, doing that is even more fun! if that makes sense? it’s kind of like: “Oh i’m glad you’re enjoying this as much as i am!” but you know, in a more harmless way. Sometimes, i like to think we’re kind of like a team! c: and that i “help” him collect souls or something. I know that’s very OOC (he doesn’t need anybody) but, yeah

Oh!! that’s also something i like about him!! He’s very independent– he marches to the beat of his own drum. Something that i think is great about him is that when people try to stop/kill him, he doesn’t get mad, he’s just finds it very amusing, and says things like:

“Hm, really? you’re going to do that? well, i hope you don’t regret your decision…”

he’s just… so cocky… and i hate it dkjskdjsk bUT I LOVE IT.

Our personalities are very different! He finds joy in the misery of others, and likes to be the one causing it, but me? i get sad when other people are sad– i feel their pain. He’s eloquent and graceful, meanwhile i struggle to ask someone for a favor, and the list goes on! but, that’s something i like about him and our… dynamic? that we’re so different from each other! ( -ω- )و

He is “incredible strong-willed and methodical” (as he was described in his lore) and well– isn’t that amazing? Imagine being locked with a bunch of haunted items that insult and prey on your insecurities, and being strong enough to endure it FOR YEARS. That’s impressive!

Tragically! he ended up giving in and slowly became who he is now. While what he went through doesn’t justify torturing people, it does adds layers to his characters, and offers potential ideas.

SPEAKING OF LAYERS, I could talk ALL DAY about the way his mind/brain works and the unique way in which he sees the world! he’s really interesting and fun to write! but,, hmm… i wont talk about that..Not today at least…. >v>

And, you know, if you think about it, he’s kind of like the embodiment of those thoughts that people get when holding something that’s easily breakable: what happens if i bend this thing? what happens if i break it? And hey!? i think that’s really cute! like!! stOP skdjskghdfjg.

He’s so creative! and enjoys experimenting and trying new things! when he isn’t using this talent to torture people (that seems to be a recurrent theme ;; >o>), he can actually do and create very impressive stuff. I like to think that if he was born in Piltover or Zaun, he would had been a renowned scientist–someone who, maybe, could have invented a lot of useful objects that help people in someway.

Also, this is more of a headcanon that’s somewhat supported by canon, but, the fact that he can look into someone’s soul/eyes and instantly know almost everything about them is comforting to me, it should be creepy, but i think is nice. Like, Oh? someone who knows what i’m thinking? not having to struggle to put my feelings into words because the other person already knows what i want to say? someone who knows exactly how i feel? amazing.

Although, he prefers to take his time and get to know and understand me without using his powers, he does this because, well, it’s more natural, but, also because he doesn’t want to look into my soul without permission-- He doesn’t want to intrude into my memories by accident and make me uncomfortable. He respects me and my boundaries, and gives me space when i need it :0 (WHICH I REALLY APPRECIATE, BY THE WAY).

I COULD GO ON BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT..... his design,,,,

LOOK AT HIM. WHAT A HANDSOME SPECTER, HOW DOES HE HAS SO MUCH STYLE?? HOW DOES ONE GET TO THIS LEVEL? IS IT BECAUSE OF THE BLACK MIST? BECAUSE IF IT’S, THEN BOY I’M PAYING THE ISLES A VISIT.

(Ugh.. .. his cape looks so comfortable… i want to wear it ;v;do you think he would mind if i borrowed it?)

tbh he makes me want to give all my OCs a scythe. I mean, just look at him?? he makes scythes look so cool, especially in his attack animations (You can look at them here!). See “Attack 1mid” for example, put it on slow-mo, and just notice the way he moves his arm over his head to avoid getting hit by the chain LI KE, H UH UH? OH MYGOD??

also, the way his “hair” moves is 👌 👀 *click* NICE.

His animations are pretty great in general, so feel free to look at them if you want–especially Dark Star. They’re not as polished as the newest champions, but they’re still good, imo.

ALSO UHHHHH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS VOICE?? is FRICKING fantastic!! both in english and spanish. The actors did an excellent job with him (imo), especially with his laugh. I mean, gosh… his LAUGH :‘v please listen to it, listen to that beautiful sound… (But be careful! it’s loud). I like all of his quotes, but my favorite ones are this one and this one.

And, for some reason, he has his own face on his scythe, which, i have to say, is really cute 💖 ;v;

!?!?! why is he cute!?!? SDKSJDKSJ STOP!! ;o;

AND THAT’S NOT MENTIONING HIS OTHER SKINS I MEAN???

DARK STAR?? highgH NOOON!?

COULD I PLEASE have 20 more of these green little ghosts dudes thank u.

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welcomethefears · 6 years

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“So, let me get this straight; you brought a Demogorgon tadpole thing into our house and it’s eaten Mr. Mews?” You questioned, your hands on your hips as you eyed your younger brother Dustin down. He held his hands behind his back, nodding sullenly with his own eyes glued to his feet. You remembered well last year when you had tried to fight off the Demogorgon with your best friend Jonathon Byers. Although you had a huge crush on him from over your years of schooling, it became obvious Nancy was the only one he wanted. Your gaze faltered on Dustin for a moment, before the fiery gaze replaced it quickly.

“Alright then two questions. Where is this ‘demodog’, as you call it, now? And where is Yertle?” You asked in your big sister voice. You always used it when Dustin had misbehaved.

“Well, The Demodog is down in the cellar. I tried calling the party over to help but no one answered. So, I bought Steve over instead,” Dustin replied, looking extremely guilty.

“Well, that explains why that egotistical idiot is parked outside our house,” You sighed, leaning back so you could see out your living room window. Steve ‘The King’ Harrington leaned on his car casually, trying to get a good look at what you and your brother were doing. Flicking him the finger quickly you turned back to Dustin.

“You’re saying you asked him for help before you asked me?” You chastised, tapping your foot quickly. His eyes fell on his feet, scuffing his toes into the floor.

“Well he had that really cool bat and no offensive but whenever you try to kill something you scream, even a fly (Y/N)!” Dustin yelled in reply, causing you to jump slightly. He had a fair point, you avoided any situation when you had to kill something with a burning passion. You were the most passive person you knew, god even Jonathon was more straightforward than you.

“Fine you have a point, let’s go kill this thing,” You shrugged, walking to the door and holding it open for Dustin.

“Finally, now Steve’s brought his own bat so don’t worry about bringing anything,” Dustin replied, running out to meet Steve. You shook your head at Dustin’s warning, sprinting to your room and collecting your metal ninja stars. Hoping that Steve wouldn’t judge you for your nerdy choice in weapon you sprinted outside to meet the boys. Tucking your striped shirt further into your jeans, you eyed down the pretty boy of Hawkins. You and Steve never really had anything regarding any type of relationship, calling each other acquaintances was a stretch. However, from what you heard about him around school, you had a pretty clear idea of what type of guy he was. Steve, however, didn’t seem to think that way, judging from his roaming eyes.

“Take a picture it will last longer,” You hissed following your brother towards the cellar as Steve pushed himself off his car. Steve rolled his eyes at your reaction, wondering why he agreed to help Dustin out. As the three of you neared the cellar, you started to hang back; your hands getting sweaty from the fear coursing through you.

“What are you, scared Henderson?” Steve joked, a smug smirk on his face as you tried to change the expression on your face. You hadn’t expected Steve to read you this easily, usually, most people struggled to get to know you at all.

“What! No way!” You and Dustin responded in sync, throwing each other a surprised look before you both glared at Steve. He only rolled his eyes in response, chuckling quietly to himself at the response he had gotten. Steve was a little surprised at how much he was enjoying himself in the company of the Henderson siblings, especially since they were facing off against mutilated creatures. Steve thought back to moments before he had picked up Dustin from the Wheeler house, the bouquet of flowers now in his backseat wilting away.

“Steve are you even paying attention?! Life or death situation here buddy,” Dustin exclaimed, causing Steve to snap back into the moment and hold his baseball bat at the ready.

“Alright let’s do it,” Steve replied, bursting into the cellar. You ran in after he had gone in fully, watching from the stairway at the top. Hearing nothing, you poked your head into the opening, scanning the area for a possible body.

“Hey Steve, you right down there?” You questioned, your (H/C) falling in front of your eyes. Seeing movement, your hand flew to your pocket, clutching onto your ninja stars.

“Nothing’s down here, except one big hole,” Steve replied, smirking at your startled form. Steve flicked the light on and you and Dustin made your way into the cellar. Steve stood in front of the rubble of your destroyed wall, a long tunnel spanning from the opening.

“Crap, how the hell did it get out?” Dustin asked, staring at the two older teens. You only shook your head, before going to punch the wall in frustration.

“Dammit Dustin! How could you do this? We’ve now got a flesh-eating dog running around Hawkins!” You exclaimed, Dustin flinching at your words. You felt blood trickling down your fingers as you continued to berated Dustin, something your parents did to you all the time but never did to Dustin.

“Hey! Let’s go get this cleaned up inside, Dustin go back to your room and see if you can contact any of your friends,” Steve directed as he grabbed your bloody hand, pulling you out of the cellar and back into your house. You frowned at his actions, unsure of why the hell Steve Harrington actually cared about what you were doing. You knew for a fact he was dating Nancy, but the last thing you had heard she had disappeared with Jonathon a couple of days ago…

“What happened to you and Nancy?” You asked although Steve didn’t respond with anything back a tensed arm, he continued walking through your house and opening random doors until he led the both of you into the bathroom.

“Where’s the first aid kit?” He asked, sitting you on the edge of the bath. He passed you a towel which you wrapped around your knuckles, watching his actions carefully. Concern was clear on his face as he continued to search, you only staring in return.

“You going to tell me how to patch you up or do you just want to bleed out?” He asked, standing up while putting his hands on his hips. You snapped out of your daze, pointing to the cabinet under the sink. You didn’t know why but for once in your life you were quiet, you hadn’t known anyone’s bare presence to have this effect on you. Steve walked over to you with first aid kit in hand and started tending to your hands. He first pressed an anti-bacterial wipe to your hand, causing you to pull in a couple of quickened breaths. After he was done, he pulled out a bandage from the kit, wrapping it around your hand.

“You know, you can’t yell at Dustin like that. Yeah what he did was really stupid, but what he needs right now is for his older sister to support him, it’s a pretty scary time,” Steve explained as he wrapped your hand.

“I get it but, Dustin never gets punished, he doesn’t know when to stop. I get yelled at all the time by my parents, but they never tell him off. I feel like it’s my job to put him in line,” You explained, staring absently at Steve wrapping your hand. He paused for a second, sighing at your words. For the first time in possibly your whole life, you made eye contact with Steve Harrington.

“Look, neither you nor Dustin deserve to be yelled at alright? You’re both great people that just want the best for others,” Steve explained, finishing up with wrapping your hand.

“Thanks. Do you really mean it though, you hardly know either of us,” You stated, tilting your head to the side in a questioning manner. Steve stood from his crouching position and shrugged his shoulders.

“It made you feel better, didn’t it?” He questioned, leaving the bathroom. You continued to sit on the edge of bath, silence filtering in and out of your ear. You had never noticed how close his eyes resembled chocolate. You stood from the bath, exiting the bathroom to find Steve going through your cupboards and other storage areas in your home. You walked to Dustin’s bedroom, finding him still trying to contact his friends. You opened the door slightly, Dustin looking over to you. Fear was in his face as you both stared at each other. You face softened as guilt took over it, you walked over to Dustin and engulfed him in a hug which he quickly returned.

“I’m so sorry Dusty, I’m so very sorry I yelled at you,” You apologized, your throat tightening as you spoke. Dustin clutched you tighter.

“No, it’s fine what I did was stupid, you were right to yell at me,” He replied.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt Dusty, you mean so much to me,” You whispered, neither of you willing to break the hug. You both closed your eyes in bliss and an attempt to stop tears from running down your face. Steve walked past as he saw you two embracing, a soft smile on his face. You definitely weren’t as bad as others thought.

A/N: Sorry for OOC Steve and I might do a part 2

#steve harrington x reader #x reader #reader insert #stranger things #steve harrington imagine #imagine #fluff #dustin henderson x sister!reader #x sister!reader

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overthincker · 7 years

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It’s Okay, I Hate Me Too. (Langst)

I posted this on AO3, but I decided to post it on here too because I love it so much ahah (also this is OOC)~

Being overlooked wasn’t a foreign feeling for Lance.

Back at the Garrison, he often heard a plethora of insults directed towards him, said by students and instructors alike. A lot of them from Iverson, the dude who oversaw the cadets. Man, he hated Iverson.

He happened to be strolling past a group of his peers. They were looking at him from the wall they were propped up against.

“Did you hear about that one guy Lance? He just failed his simulation test for the fifth time in a row.”

“Yeah, I did. The dude’s pathetic. How’d he even get accepted into the Garrison in the first place?”

“He only got into the fighter pilot class because Keith dropped out. I’m shocked Lance wasn’t the one to get dropped.”

“He can’t even handle the shit in the cargo pilot class. He’s pathetic.”

Lance just smiled. It’s okay, I hate me too.

“We’re going to have to visit the Worbla planet for some supply negotiations,” Allura says, after shortly gathering all the paladins plus Coran for a meeting. “The Worblon are fairly nice aliens, so the negotiations should go fairly quickly. So be on your best behavior,” Her light tone disappears as her eyes land on Lance. The mood suddenly becomes more hostile. “Especially you, Lance. You stay in the back. I don’t want you messing this up.”

Lance lets out a nervous, breathy laugh. “Got it, princess.” Allura narrows her eyes even more. Great, she doesn’t trust me. I should’ve seen that coming, though.

The castle-ship lands on the planet. The Worblon gather around the paladins in awe, talking amongst themselves.

“Can you believe it?! It’s the paladins of Voltron!”

“Strong and mighty, strong and mighty.”

“Amazing!”

Allura gains a confident stature when the leader of the Worblon comes forward. They both go somewhere else to talk. Shiro and Keith have a private conversation. Pidge and Hunk had a ‘who can fit their fist into their mouth’ competition. Lance stood by himself until several aliens approached him.

“Excuse me,” The Worblon said, looking up at Lance. “Aren’t you the blue paladin of Voltron?”

Lance gave a soft smile. “Yeah, I am. I pilot one of the legs.” And I’m also the most overlooked member of Voltron…

“You’re not as uptight as the other members,” Another smiled. “I like that. You’re very lighthearted. I don’t think you get stressed in battle. The others are so serious, so scary. You’re, ah, cool.” Lance’s eyes lit up and he gave a genuine grin. This was the first compliment he’s ever received.

“Thank you.”

“LANCE!” A voice screeched from behind him. He turned around and saw the fuming face of Allura stomping towards him. Her fists were balled up, and she had gritted teeth. The Worblon he talked to slowly backed away. Lance gulped. What did I do now?

“I specifically told you to stay in the back! What are you even doing?!” She yelled, and the other paladins looked at Lance. They all had the expression of “Jeez Lance, you already messed up?”. “You’re messing things up again, aren’t you?!”

She turned towards the Worblon. “I apologize for whatever he did. He doesn’t seem to have any seriousness in his body.” The Worblon looked at her, confused.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, we were just complimenting him. You should be more like him, he’s very lighthearted compared to the serious faces of you guys.”

Allura just gave a forced smile and commanded all of the paladins to go back onto the castle-ship.

“Did you trick the Worblon or something?” Allura asked him later, during a meeting. “We all know the real you. You’re not the one to be complimented on.” Ouch.

“Yeah,” Pidge piped up. “You don’t take anything seriously. You don’t do well in battle either. What’s there to compliment?” The others laughed. Lance just bit his lip and exited the room. It’s okay, I hate me too.

Well, at least the Worblon were nice enough to compliment him.

Lance and the other paladins were currently in a battle with the Galra. Ships surrounded them.

“Pidge, use your invisibility cloak to get us close to the main ship. Keith and I will cover while you and Hunk shut down their ion cannons. Hopefully Pidge will get the information they need,” Shiro speaks from the com, but pauses. “Oh, and Lance, just don’t do anything stupid. We don’t need you goofing off and jeopardizing the mission.”

Lance sighed. “Got it.”

They all split up, each lion tackling their own problem. Lance just wandered around, carefully aiming the giant energy rifle on his lion to blast random Galra ships in his line of vision. He wanted to be careful, because if he fucked something up, then Shiro was going to scold and berate him while the other paladins looked at him with no pity.

Suddenly, the ion cannon blasted Blue, and she went spiraling off into space. Lance got dislodged from his seat and was hitting nearly every wall inside of Blue.

A weird-looking sheet of metal got lodged into Lance’s side. He screamed in pain, and he widened his eyes at the sight of the blood. Another piece of metal punctured Lance’s right eye. He saw a flash of blindingly bright light, and then darkness. He screamed his heart out, and then blacked.

When he woke up, he discovered that the inside of Blue looked like a crime scene. Blood was everywhere. He looked down at his armor to find out that it was damaged severely.

“You okay, Blue?” He rasped, and Blue responded with a purr. She was alright. “Good. ‘Cause I’m going to need you to fly us back to the castle-ship. She started moving.

He reached for his helmet and put it on, hoping to communicate with his teammates to signal that he strayed. Instead, he heard more slander.

“Lance screwed up again. “ Pidge.

“We clearly gave him instructions, how hard is it to follow them?” Keith.

“They were simple orders. I’m honestly kind of shocked.” Hunk.

“Don’t be. When he gets back, I’ll make sure to reprimand him for the trouble he’s caused.” Allura.

“I second that. He needs to learn to take things seriously. We’re saving the universe, this isn’t a board game.” Shiro.

Lance threw his helmet to the other side of the area. He felt tears coming out of his eyes, and he released a shaky breath. He tried his best to huddle into a ball. It’s okay, I hate me too.

Lance put Blue into her hangar and slowly limped into the halls of the castle. He was forced to perform an impromptu stitching on his side with a random first-aid kit he found because the wound was starting to become worse. His eye, however, was a different story. It was still bleeding, and the area around it was slightly swollen.

He heard the voices of his teammates coming from the meeting hall. Holding his side, he limped over to the door. He stopped when he heard the topic the teammates were talking about.

“Honestly, Lance is quite pathetic. He can’t hold off very well on his own, judging by his performance in this battle.”

“He didn’t get his beauty sleep,” A chorus of laughs echoed. “You know how terrible he gets without his beauty sleep. Or manicure, whatever.”

“He acts so much like a kid. How did his parents even deal with him? He’s in his late teens. I’m sure his family was glad when they heard the news of him moving out.”

“He’s a walking, talking disaster.”

Lance slowly opened the door and limped into the room. His teammates, Allura, and Coran gasped at the sight they saw. That was the first time he saw the look of sympathy directed towards him on their faces. He coughed, and blood splattered onto the floor. He gave a weak smile.

“It’s okay, I hate me too.”

#langst #lance mcclain #keith kogane #voltron legendary defender #voltron au #this is very ooc #paladins are lil shits #why did i write this #takashi shirogane #vld #voltron allura #voltron pidge #voltron coran #hunk garrett #voltron #vld lance #voltron lance #im sorry lance #lance centric

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halfsouledbrat-archive · 7 years

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90+ Bias Promo List

Wow. Um... again, that’s a tonna people. So take my love, you beautiful bastards

--- @harvestingshopkeep ;;

Such a cool dude; they’re a super sweet, hilarious mun with an even funnier muse! I never really could think of NOT being mutuals with them-- they’re just.. they’re awesome. I love them, their muse, and their ideas/plots. They’re really awesome, and you should go love them and Kytar. IF YOU’RE NOT FOLLOWING, YOU’RE INSANE.

--- @kindnessneedsbravery ;;

You’ve actually helped me feel better about my appearance somewhat. I don’t know when we even met, but I’m very glad we did! You’re awesome Kit, stay cool! I HIGHLY recommend them.

--- @he-still-beelieves-in-you ;;

A HUGE NERD. They’re very nice as well, and a super fun person; especially with threads! Send them puns. Puns are good. Thank you for being a really cool dude! I SERIOUSLY recommend them.

--- @evilpersonified ;;

Holy. Fucking. Shit. One of my favorite people to thread and talk with, and a really awesome person!!! The reason I even heard of Villainous, actually; and the reason I REALLY love Dr. Flug and Blackhat!! Such an awesome dude, go give ‘em some love!! I HIGHLY recommend them.

--- @its-showtime-darlings ;;

Holy shoot, you’ve been an idol for AGES-- I love how you play MTT, all verses, and you inspire me to strive to get better with my writing every day!! It’s super awesome to see you on my dash, IC or OOC!!! I HIGHLY recommend them.

--- @johnandabel ;;

A really close friend of mine; we haven’t interacted on Tumblr yet, but this person is a really awesome person with really cool OCs and ideas, and a spunky personality; I HIGHLY recommend them.

#one whole soul ;; ooc #hey!!! ;; promo #// please i just #i love my friends #share my love //

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zweiherzen · 3 years

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HAVE TO CLEAN OUT THIS BLOG and im gonna do it today but promise im writing drafts and starters :))

#ooc. — ⋮⋮ ❝ thank you‚ kit. very cool! ❞#tbd. — ⋮⋮ ❝ better erase the evidence. ❞#maybe ill redo my tags but also i dont care

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purecfblood-blog · 5 years

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i remembered my lucius password so here i am still not having finished the books as promised, BUT back from finals and school stuff

#ooc. — ⋮⋮ ❝ thank you kit‚ very cool! ❞#tbd. — ⋮⋮ ❝ better erase the evidence. ❞#( ready to play evil dad once again.... )

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poisonsculpted · 6 years

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( ooc ) — hmm it’s been a while since i’ve worked on jean-noël. like for a small starter. i’ll catch up on old things in some time.

#❝ Let our stories commence. ❞ — ( STARTER CALL )#( apparently id better change my tags too )#ooc. — ⋮⋮ ❝ thank you‚ kit. very cool! ❞

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kriegssohn-blog · 5 years

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tag dump.

#ooc. — ⋮⋮ ❝ thank you kit‚ very cool! ❞#tbd. — ⋮⋮ ❝ brb erasing evidence ❞#kit replies. — ⋮⋮ ❝ we are both dragon energy. ❞#kit stuff. — ⋮⋮ ❝ thanos car ❞#threading. — ⋮⋮ ❝ i have killed more men with words than by my own hand. ❞#crack. — ⋮⋮ ❝ caw caw‚ caw caw caw. there... are you satisfied? ❞#ask. — ⋮⋮ ❝ do close the door on your way out. ❞#submission. — ⋮⋮ ❝ your letters have been this day received. ❞#games & memes. — ⋮⋮ ❝ i do so enjoy explaining things to idiots. ❞#save. — ⋮⋮ ❝ i owe you a debt. that is not as ominous as it sounds. ❞#self promo. — ⋮⋮ ❝ i was born a patrician. i became a soldier. ❞#promo. — ⋮⋮ ❝ a bit presumptuous to consider us... rivals. ❞#blog info. — ⋮⋮ ❝ you ought to see this. ❞#blog updates. — ⋮⋮ ❝ an urgent matter. ❞#aesthetic. — ⋮⋮ ❝ the blood of soldiers must be the ink. ❞#headcanon. — ⋮⋮ ❝ i peer through the darkness others fear. ❞#musings & studies. — ⋮⋮ ❝ it is there in the silence after battle. it is there in me. ❞#portraits. — ⋮⋮ ❝ the old wounds ache. they are reminders. ❞#fascinations. — ⋮⋮ ❝ a riddle wrapped in a mystery / hidden within us all. ❞#queue. — ⋮⋮ ❝ the queue marches / like any man. ❞#self reblog. — ⋮⋮ ❝ dear‚ firmin‚ just a brief reminder. ❞

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thetradeway · 3 years

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Session 43 31 May 2021: “This is a local ship for local people.”

I’m a bit late, so are Duncan and Sophie. What were we doing? Oh yes, we killed some sirens. It turns out that the boat we are on is 190ft long and not 200 as advertised; clearly Captain Beckett felt the need to exaggerate a few things.

Ed has read the blog so he’s all caught up. (Yay me!) Tarragon mentions that Popcorn was very cross that someone killed his shark, so Kessler offers to throw him a few fins. He is suitably mollified.

The crew of the Fallen Star are scanning the ocean around us for more threats; the First Mate (Aegea) is still looking horrified at the violent deaths of two of her crewmates. We are told the sharks shouldn’t be this close to land. She also says that although she’s heard tale of sirens, she’s never seen one before today. This is not a typical voyage for them at all.

(Could this be something to do with Sea-Bitch? I forget her name.)

A kid runs up to Aegea to tell her she’s wanted below deck. Tarragon heals Ahleqs and casts Lesser Restoration on him and Gideon for the lowered HP max situation.

Aegea reappears and asks if one of us is a cleric; Brother Charity, Ardvack, says he will do whatever she needs. (Hm.) What god does he follow, she asks? Helm, he says. He’ll make it as multi-denominational as he can.

They need to bury the deceased. He says he needs about an hour to get ready. We help clean up the deck during the hour, and are invited to attend the ceremony afterward.

(Ardvack asks Gideon for a quick word in private, but Ed has gone to make coffee because he’s flagging. Matthew decides that means he’s agreed; why would he not want a clandestine meeting with Ardvack?)

The crew pitch in to help clean the deck; Aegea is attaching shells to driftwood; we do Investigation checks. They are painting symbols on the wood - split waves, symbols of Umberlee. (Sea Bitch!) There is also a lightning symbol - we’ve seen Gunna wearing that. It’s a symbol of the Captain of the Waves. Melaina only recognises the dolphin symbol - the elven god of the Underseas. They are attaching candles to the driftwood; these effigies will probably be put out to sea in lieu of bodies.

Ahleqs thinks it would be nice to be able to cast Prestidigitation, but he doesn’t have the spell. He tries to cast it anyway and the DM makes him roll on the ToC table - 73, a random creatures within 60ft of him becomes poisoned for 1d4 hours. He casts Mage Armour for when his unfortunate victim attacks him. No need, because he’s poisoned himself, and we all just assume he’s seasick. He retreats to the poop deck, just in case, and lays down and presses his head against the deck because it’s cooling.

The sailors start coming up from below deck after the hour.

Kessler asks who’s on watch while all this is happening? We’ve already been nailed once, she’d hate for it to happen again. The captain, first mate, bosun, quartermaster, even the cook are all on deck so they can watch.

Beckett approaches us; he looks unwell. Tarragon and Kessler inquire after his health; he says he’s fine. He asks if we’ve seen Brother Charity - he’s still in the surgery. Gideon is still with him.

Meanwhile, in the surgery...

Ardvack: “I expect you’re wondering why I’ve called you here.”

Ed, who has just come back from making coffee and might not have heard the part of the session where he was invited to the surgery: “Errrr…”

Charity thanks Gideon for being the only one of the party who have made him feel welcome; he gives him a scroll and says he wrote it himself. (Oh boy.) It’s a scroll of disguise self; Gideon is relieved as he thought it might be poetry. Ardvack says he thinks it might come in handy. Gideon can copy it into his book; Charity says he hopes Gideon will think of him when he casts it. He says he will put it to good use.

On deck, we are discussing doing something with the shark; Ahleqs throws up over the side.

Charity emerges on deck. The crew have finished their offerings. Charity starts the ceremony for the fallen: Christopher Moistloins and Brian Tetheradick.

He recites a short piece of his own creation and invites the crew to say a few words; he will be sending Carl around with an alms box for their families.

Matthew reads the following:

(We all hear a big sob from the aft castle from Ahleqs.)

Charity burns some stuff in a brazier. Some of the crew and the captain tell stories about the fallen crew, and some put coins in the alms box. We all add some too.

We hold a wake on deck in the evening with rum. We roll perception checks; Ahleqs at Disadvantage because he’s poisoned. He also still cannot get drunk; his body has no idea what’s going on.

The crew are whispering that the Captain was not on deck for the fight; this is unusual. Aegea says the Captain was sound asleep when she got to his chambers and he had to be woken magically. Hmm.

The wake goes on for several hours, after which we retire - some of us for healing and then rest. Ahleqs follows Charity to the surgery, very green and hugging a small metal pot he’s found.

Charity asks him to describe his symptoms; he vomits. Everything is spinning, and this rash is new too. Charity prescribes a course of leeches. He makes a Medicine check - an 18. The Tides of Chaos turned his stomach contents foul. (Ew.) Charity makes a check with the Healer’s Kit - a 21 - and hands him a glass vial that looks like pepto bismol (and smells like it). Ahleqs chugs it and feels much better.

Gideon wants to play dice with the sailors; Melaina and Tarragon help with the watches. Tarragon takes a long rest first, and helps with the last of the watches. (Mina struggles to type the right command to do a long rest; we cheer when she finally gets it.)

Tarragon and Melaina ascend to the crow’s nest. The evening is clear and beautiful. I get all of my good rolls out of the way nice and early with a 25 Perception check. In front of the ship, we see unnatural looking storm clouds. Tarragon shouts to the crew; a lad climbs up the rigging and takes a look through the telescope, pales, and runs to get Sparks. (Mina, OOC: "Is he singing 'This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us' as he goes?")

We could have sworn we saw something very large break the surface of the ocean ahead of us. (Me, Melaina, and Charity still have water breathing, so we can drown as slowly as we like.)

Sparks arrives and looks scared - Tarragon points out the big shape but Sparks can’t see it. What did it look like? We aren’t sure. Could it be a whale? She goes back down the rigging and goes to get the Captain.

The storm clouds are getting nearer. The Captain appears on deck and beckons us; we scramble down. He says we don’t have time to turn away from the storm, so we don’t want to be in the crow’s nest when it hits. Tarragon runs to the cabins to wake the others; with no idea what social niceties even are, she bursts into their rooms without knocking.

Ardvack, rolling over in bed to face her, crossly: “Tarragon, I’m not interested!”

Tarragon leaps onto his bed and starts kicking him, furious. “There’s a storm approaching, get up and help us!”

Ahleqs casts Mage Armour.

The ship is lurching by the time we all get back on deck. Tarragon casts Water Breathing on as many people as she can who don’t already have it. We make DEX saves for the lurching deck; all of us except Tarragon deal with it pretty well. She falls prone.

The crew are running around; the deck is chaos. Spark’s eyes are pure white - she’s concentrating really hard. The storm seems not quite as bad directly around the ship. The waves are bigger outside her sphere of influence, and the lightning doesn’t strike within it. Ardvack decides he’s going back down until he’s advised it might be worse down there. He looks for a rope to lash himself and Carl to a mast.

We make Perception checks. Those of us who roll 15 or over hear what sounds like a horn over the rain and thunder and crashing waves. This storm does not seem altogether natural.

Kessler has Ahleqs cast Light on one of her crossbow bolts; she fires it in the direction of the horn that we heard. It flies in a straight line, is taken by the wind and disappears. But she has invented the first signal flare crossbow.

Ardvack finds a place to shelter. Literally all of us except Melaina roll super bad on our DEX saves and are moving at half speed for this encounter. Ahleqs uses Tides of Chaos to give himself Advantage and rolls a nat 20, but then rolls 100 on the d100 - we all panic until he says he ‘regains all his expended Sorcery Points’. Because he rolled so well the DM lets him give a pass to one of his team - he chooses Tarragon. "Barbarians need to move to get closer." (Yeah!)

We roll Perception again. Those who roll ten or more hear the eerie horn again - this time it’s much closer. Should Kessler try her flare bolt again?

(Gideon is worried this might be a ghost ship…) Anyone who rolled 15 or more can roll Perception again at Advantage. Ahleqs sees something and falls down in fright.

The horn sounds again and we all hear it this time. Aegea shouts, “Sea Devils! We have to keep them away from the Captain and the mage or we’re all fucked!” Tarragon runs toward Sparks. The others place themselves where they want to be, and we roll Initiative. I get a nat 1! Fuck! Melaina hides near the mast so she can do some cowardly shooting at a distance.

(We may need to figure out now which of the crew have Water Breathing. Three of ours already had it - Tarragon, Charity and Melaina - and Carl doesn’t need it, so she casts it on Ahleqs, Kessler and Gideon. She can get 7 more.) DM says I got: Captain, Sparks, Aegea, and a couple of the crew. The bosun is not on deck.

Melaina makes a Perception check - a 23. She sees, out of the ocean and scurrying up the side of the ship, a sea-devil!

Ahleqs is up first. He waves to the sea-devil. “Hello! Uh… How are you? Can we help you at all?” He’s using his Retail background. (Sophie, OOC: “This is a local ship for local people.”) He makes a Persuasion check.

It snarls at him and says “Those who are eaten should shut up.” Its voice is raspy, throaty.

Ahleqs holds his hands out: “I’m sure we can come to a mutual arrangement that will benefit all of us,” and readies a Firebolt. If anything attacks any of us, he will attack it.

Ahleqs, Gideon and Melaina - actually most of us, this thing’s big - Thanks Joe - see this, crawling up the side of the ship:

A Huge sea-devil. Well, shit. (Gideon’s only complaint so far is that it doesn’t have webbed digits. It does seem to have webbed armpits. It must get through a lot of deodorant.)

Carl is killing it today - he rolls a 17 for his Dex save. The ship lurches as if something very large slams into it, which is likely exactly what happened. Gideon and Ardvack are knocked prone.

Kessler is up. She shoots the first sea devil with her crossbow, vowing to eat it if she gets a chance. 16 hits, for 8 piercing damage. It screeches, sounding more angry than hurt. That’s okay, this is just the opening salvo. She fires another shot - a 9, which misses.

Tarragon sees another sea devil scale the back of the boat - because it’s feeling friendly it throws a net at her, rolling a 20. Well shit.

Melaina hides and shoots at the bigjobs - a 20 hits. she only - only! - does 25 damage.

Another sea devil runs up to Tarragon in her net and grabs her, running back toward the railing. Shit!

(Duncan complains that all of the sea devils who are attacking are doing so behind him where he can’t see them to unleash his Firebolt; Joe says he will move one that Ahleqs can see. Ahleqs: “I didn’t mean it…”)

Gideon goes on operation Rescue the Druid - well he tries, but he’s prone at the moment. He uses half his movement to get up and goes as far as he can, but can’t quite reach her. There’s still stuff to kill elsewhere though, and she tells him not to worry too much as she has a plan. There’s a pause; is he trying to remember how big a Fireball is? Ed, OOC: “Not yet.” He decides to Grease the deck. This may help or hinder, but he’s doing it anyway. He’s trying to trip the one dragging Tarragon over the side. Hopefully it will hit the railing groin-first in a comical manner, taking 10 cloaca damage. It has to make a DEX save; it rolls a 5 and falls over, yay! Tarragon rolls out of his grip - she’s lucky there’s a railing around the edge.

Thanks Gideon! Grease Wizard to the rescue!

Carl’s turn. (Does he smell bad, by the way? Yes, Matthew tells us. He was already desiccated, and the sea water hasn’t done much to help. He might want some herbs to freshen the air around him or we could all get nosegays.) He uses his turn to dash.

Tarragon rages and uses the Rage to get Advantage on her Strength check to get out of the net - she rolls a nat 20 and does a big roar at the sea devil, forearm veins bulging as she does so. She uses half her movement to stand up.

The sea devil nearest Ardvack throws a dart at him - it rolls a 5 and misses. Ardvack doesn’t even notice it over the noise of the storm. It’s his turn. “Carl, what on earth are you doing?”

Duncan, OOC: “Well, I think we’ve established that they don’t want to be mates.”

Ardvack does Bonus Action Shellegblghlslehhlhlsfghh, then does a Very Holy Eldritch Blast. One hits, the other misses. (The hit definitely doesn’t heal it for 7HP. He’s turned on us!) It screeches, showing rows and rows of sharp teeth. Ardvack, unimpressed: “How gauche.”

A sea devil multi-attacks Carl at Advantage because he’s flanked. The bite hits with a 17 for 3 piercing, and the spear hits at a 14 for 2 piercing. Carl is now their friend, as is their custom.

Anther shiny new friend joins us on the boat. It has a vajazzle!

(I delete myself off the board by accident. Whoops. Benevolent DM puts me back on the board, and in the turn order; sorry, thank you, sorry.)

The new she-monster barks at the others: “Spare the honoured one!” She’s feeling friendly, so a magical looking trident appears in front of Ardvack and takes a swing at him. Just as soon as her spell sheet loads. Ardvack is against whatever’s going on here.

It’s taking forever, so we move on to Ahleqs. He was going to ask - he thinks it’s important to have a conversation about Fireballs and ships. It’s about our third day on the ship; since we’ve been here a while, DM says he knows by now that the ship is warded against fire damage. It’s not immune, but it won’t take full damage.

If he places it right, he will do minimal structural damage. What he’ll do then is first turn around to see what horrors are going on behind him. He sees Gideon’s Grease, and casts Fireball at level 3. Joe makes some DEX saves. two 9s, a 16 and an 18. The 9s fail and take 34 fire damage, and 17 for the rest.

Here is the good news - he’s killed three and injured two more. Nice! The big one was still over the side and was therefore protected from the blast, which is the bad news. He moves, but not too close to the edge 'in case a tentacle comes'. He hunches a little bit and cowers. Ardvack takes the attack from the trident - 18 hits, so he takes 4 Force damage from the she-monster’s Spiritual Weapon.

Another sea devil throws another dart at Ardvack and misses; again he is utterly oblivious. The big bastard one dives back under the water. He is appalled at our treatment of them as guests.

Another comes out of the sea and climbs on board; DM: “Because that’s fun.”

(Tarragon has her back to all of this, and has no idea exactly how bad things are behind her.)

Kessler asks Tarragon if she needs any help, and receives a mindless roar in response. She shoots at some of the creatures - 11 misses, 24 hits.

(Carl is disappointed to find out that the devils aren’t Small; he wanted to grab one by the face and swing it at another one.) We make more DEX saves as the ship lurches again. Ardvack gets a 3 and goes over the side. He can breathe water at the moment, but he’s not a strong swimmer. As he hits and goes under, he catches a glimpse of something:

Oh Christ. Oh no. It’s labelled ‘Enormous Shark’. He’s now keeping Ardvack company in the sea. It’s almost like someone doesn’t want us to reach our destination…

22 hits Tarragon with a poison dart; she takes 3 piercing damage and has to make a CON save - if she fails by 5 or more she is Unconscious. The DC is 13 and she rolls an 8; she is Poisoned and Unconscious (But not at 0HP.)

Melaina Hides with a 24 and shoots at the priestess - 18 hits, for 40 damage with Sharpshooter. (She is a god among women, isn’t she.) Now that she’s attacked, she is visible - the priestess says points at her and says, “Brethren, unclean one!”

The nearest one picks Tarragon up and flings her overboard. Rude. She awakens when she hits the freezing water though, so not entirely bad.

Gideon has two party members in the water. “Well… crap. Okay.” He eventually decides to scamper across the deck (I can’t see where as I’m in the water and facing the wrong way) and do Aganazzar’s Scorcher to try and catch two of them. They both save and take half damage, 7 Fire. The one closest to him is killed. Gideon: “oooh. Fried fish.” It smells disgusting apparently; he uses his bonus action to plug his nose.

Carl turns slowly and ominously to his new buddy, and his hood is blown down, exposing his pallid dead flesh and his milky eyes. He does a, and I’m quoting here, “double-handed splat on him”. Open handed on the top of the head, he rolls a 21 Slam attack to compress it into the deck. He and it make contested Strength checks; Carl wins. The devil is Grappled. Carl would like to squeeze until his hands meet in the middle or something bursts; maybe his head?

(Ahleqs looks at Carl and thinks of the picture he drew for them. Matthew, OOC: “As I said, Carl has a rich internal life. There’s a lot going on.”)

A devil shoots a dart at Melaina and misses; Sophie, OOC: “Twats.”

Tarragon rage-climbs up the side of the ship, using her Action to Dash, and ends her Rage. Everyone is surprised by this; we didn’t know you could do that.

Can Ardvack see the shark? No, because he’s back on the surface of the water. (It turns out that he can see in the dark, but none of us know that in-game. Huh.)

He rolls a nat 20 Perception check. He can now target the shark; it’s 30 feet long. Holy fucking shit.

Matthew, OOC: “It’s a dumb idea. It’s a dumb idea. It’s a very bad idea.” What is? He was thinking he could Misty Step and cling on to the back of its fin and, again I’m quoting, “pester it”. Perhaps he could pump air into it with a hypodermic needle…?

He doesn’t know if Ardvack is that much of a reckless maniac. Can he cast spells with a verbal component underwater while hanging on to the back of a shark, since he has Water Breathing? If the spell has a Somatic component he would have to let go. If he was a retired rodeo champion, the DM might let him try.

He could Misty Step into the shark and pester it from within…? Matthew, OOC: “That sounds like a one-way trip.” He Misty Steps onto the back of it, and he’ll see where he goes from there.

Duncan, OOC: “How fast can a shark go? Are we ever going to see Brother Charity again?”

The shark has almost armour plating; a knife likely won’t go in. Ardvack attempts to cling onto the fin. His Gunna is showing, and the DM approves. He awards Ardvack Inspiration; “That’s ballsy.”

Is that you done, Matthew? “Yes. I have made a terrible, terrible error.”

Contested Strength checks for the devil and Carl; Carl fails this time. The fish man is off; he does not enjoy this. Carl raises his hood in fury. He will take this out on something else close to him on his turn.

The priestess casts Mass Healing Word on her sea-devils. She drinks a potion, because Melaina ruined her day. She calls out to her comrades: “We who eat! Quickly, attack those who are eaten!”

Ahleqs does Eldritch Blast at one of them, using Tides of Chaos for Advantage; 23 to hit, and a dirty 20 to hit for 5 total Force damage. He rolls on the Table of Joy and Wonder: 30. He teleports up to 60 feet to a space he can see. Every space he can see is worse than the one he’s in, though. He teleports to the least dangerous one.

A sea-devil shoots a poison dart at Melaina - it misses. Does Ahleqs want the good news or the bad news? He opts for the good news: he is told he 'ain’t gonna be lonely no more'. The bad news is that he’s joined by the Big Bastard, who has clambered back on board. It does a multi-attack at him. The bite hits for 9 damage.

Duncan, OOC, with hope in his voice: “Is that it?”

DM, with no trace of remorse: “Nope. not so much.”

It gives him a quick prod with its trident - Ahleqs uses two Sorcery Points to Bend Luck - the attack misses. Phew. The Big Bastard prods him again, but rolls a nat 1. “That was fortunate.”

A devil chucks a net at Carl - 22 hits, and Carl is netted. Carl’s other friend scoops him up and slings him overboard. He’s full of corpse gas, though, so he floats. Naturally buoyant. He looks very avant-garde, floating around in his net.

Aegea has a go at killing one of them; she manages it. Woo! Kessler is up. She shouts at Ahleqs to cower (“already all over it”) and shoots her crossbow over his head at the Priestess for 4 damage. She takes a shot at the one that just escaped Carl’s clutches with a dirty 20, for 10 piercing. He is looking ropey; she can see his opal-y flesh through his scales. She then yells at the big bastard to try and get it to attack her instead of Ahleqs.

We all make DEX saves except Ardvack who makes a STR check as the shark slams into the ship again. Tarragon rolls a nat 1. Ardvack is thrown from the back of the shark and is now floating in the ocean. The shark uses some of its movement to dive down.

DM, sounding entirely too gleeful: “You’ve seen the thing on documentés where it comes up from below, right Matthew?”

Melaina wants to pour oil down the mast to make it slippery so the devils can’t climb up. She can cover half the mast if she uses her action. That’ll give them a DC15 to climb. She does that. Two of them slide back down. She attempts to hide but rolls a 12.

The sea devil in Gideon's Grease uses half his movement to stand up, rolls a DEX save which he fails and falls back down. He uses the rest of his movement to stand up again. Amazing.

Gideon uses his fancy new spell on the Big Bastard - Phantasmal Killer. (oooooo!) It makes a WIS save and fails, taking 24 Psychic damage and is Frightened. At the end of each of his turns, he must succeed another Wis save or take 4d10 further Psychic damage. Woah. Wait - it doesn’t take damage yet.

Carl frees himself from the net and starts to climb back on board, ending his turn about halfway up. A devil shoots a dart at Melaina and misses.

Tarragon wanted to cast Greater Shillbblldhdlgslfslgghhh, but finds out at the last second that she doesn’t have it prepared, so she just runs up and hits a devil for 5 damage, and throws a Healing Word to Ahleqs at second level for her bonus action.

Ardvack isn’t sure what to do; he can’t go up against a shark, he’s a tiny little man! He swims away - away?! - from the boat. (He has another character prepared, right?)

He holds his action so that when the shark comes, he will teleport onto the boat. Actually, wait - he has another idea that’s even worse. If you opened up a Bag of Holding underwater, would it fill with water and stay the same size? DM, dubiously: “… Yes… Where are you going with this?”

He wants to get in the BoH, filled with water which he can breathe, and wait for the shark. He will hold his action and wait for the shark. Then he wants to wait for the shark to eat the bag, and do something even dumber than that. The DM warns him that the shark might decide that a bag is a meagre prize, and go for something else.

He decides instead to chum the water a bit - he is bleeding. Perhaps some smaller sharks will distract the big one.

Nope - he decides to go half in, half out of the bag. That’s his turn with his held action.

Does 18 hit Gideon? He is just an elderly dwarf in a dress. We wait for Ed to reply, but it seems we’ve lost him - oh wait, there he is. 18 does hit. He takes 3 Piercing damage and is Poisoned. Nope - he succeeds on his CON save and is not poisoned. He makes a CON check to maintain concentration on his spell and fails; Phantasmal Killer fails and does no damage. Booh! We ain’t dead yet, though.

The Luscious Lovely of the Sea comes down to the mast, and casts Hold Person on Melaina. Ahleqs does Counterspell - and blocks the spell. The priestess thinks that’s incredibly rude, so she uses her bonus action to move her Spiritual Weapon towards Ahleqs. She attacks with it - and misses. Yeah!

Ahleqs casts Burning Hands on the Big Bastard - at 4th level, because he’s terrified. (The DM remembers that these things have Blood Frenzy, so technically they have advantage on attacking us if we’re injured. All of us: “Thanks, Joe!”) The Big Bastard makes a DEX save versus Burning Hands, and rolls a nat 1. She takes 21 Fire damage. DM: “You swine!”

Ahleqs gibbers a little bit. The Priestess looks cross, so he cowers and says, “sorry!”

A devil claws its way up the mast and slashes at Melaina - a multi-attack, both of which hit her. She takes 5 damage total. “Little swine!”

Does Ahleqs have all his HP back? Duncan, OOC: “What’s it to you?” He does, because Tarragon healed him, so the Sea devil doesn’t have Advantage on him. It does a multi-attack - 18, 18 and 21 all hit. He uses a Sorcery Point to Bend Luck on one of the 18s, but it doesn’t do anything. He takes 24 damage total. Ouch.

This ain’t looking grand for us. Aegea will try to run for reinforcements on her turn.

More poisoned darts - Melaina dodges it again. Aegea, to Gideon: “Have you got this for a second? Protect the Captain and Sparks and I’ll get help!”

Kessler is going to do something incredibly daft. She leaves melee range of one of the sea devils and takes an attack of opportunity - which misses - and marches up to the Big Bastard, stowing her crossbow. “Leave the squishy one alone!” She goes for an attack to the face with her Thunder Gauntlet - which hits. 9 points of Thunder damage. Second attack is a nat 20! She does an anime sequence before she hits. Stunning blow - Max damage, and the target must make a DC14 CON save and is stunned on a fail. He rolls a 26. Well, shit. Still though, if he tries to attack anything else he’ll be at disadvantage, which is good news for Ahleqs.

Ardvack is splashing around in the roiling ocean. Does he want odds or evens? The shark can attack him, or leap out of the water and bite at Carl, hanging off the side of the boat. He chooses odds - the shark attacks Ardvack. He climbs mostly inside the BoH - with one hand hanging out, holding an Immovable Rod. With his held action, he activates it. He makes a DEX save - if he succeeds, the shark leaps out of the water and swallows the Bag of Holding. It is suspended in the air as the Rod activates. The DM allows Matthew to make his case for what sort of, and how much, damage he rolls.

How fast was the shark moving, first of all? DM googles it, and reckons about 35MPH. Matthew wants to calculate the damage as you would falling damage - a d6 per 10 feet travelled. Duncan has looked up the rules surrounding the Immovable Rod. It can hold 8,000lb. So how heavy is a shark? An enormous one, at that? There’s a lot of talk about sharks and weight and tons versus tonnes. We decide to go with Imperial tons, as that’s what 5e uses. Great whites can get up to 5,000lbs at about half the length, 15-16 feet.

We decide that the shark weighs more than the Rod can hold, so it swallows Ardvack, the Bag, and the Rod - which deactivates. Well… He’s biffed that, hasn’t he? He spends the rest of the round coming up with a new plan. We all saw and heard what happened, sadly for him. Ahleqs will still be screaming when his turn comes around again.

Melaina ignores the devils next to her and aims at the Priestess, but hides first. 13 misses. “Bollocks. Okay, that’s me done.”

No wait - 13 hits! Nice! 34 damage. Bitch is haggard. “She looks in a terrible terrible bad way.”

(Matthew OOC: “I’m inside a giant fish.” Sophie: “You idiot.”)

The devil nearest Tarragon attacks her with a 20 for two damage. She laughs at it, showing the blood on her teeth. Another attacks Ahleqs with a 16 for 2 piercing. Another attacks Kessler - both its multi-attacks miss.

Gideon’s plan is to shoot a spell in a line at three of the Devils - he does Aganazzar’s Scorcher again. They make DEX saves - the first dies outright. “Woohoo!” One succeeds - taking 9 damage - and one fails, taking 18. Gideon sits back and says some encouraging words to Sparks and the Captain.

Carl has another ten feet to climb - which takes 20 feet of his movement. He clambers back on board like Jason Voorhees and does 'that weird shoulder breathing thing' and spends the rest of his turn looking intimidating.

Another poison dart - this one at Melaina, again. It just hits, with her new AC (two added as she’s behind cover). She takes 2 piercing and makes a CON save - she fails with a 2, and falls unconscious. “Awhh!”

Tarragon hits the devil in front of her for 10 bludgeoning; it’s looking ropey. She Healing Word’s Ahleqs again.

Brother Fish Food is up. He doesn’t need his hands to cling on from inside the shark, so good news, Somatic components are A-OK. He clings to the edge of the Bag of Holding and casts Dimension Door to bring himself and the Bag to the edge of the ship where he was originally knocked off. He spills out of the Bag; anyone near him hears him mutter-sobbing: “Terrible idea, terrible bad idea, my books are ruined, I’m never going in the sea again…” and vomiting. DM: "… there was water in the Bag, yes?"

He has flooded the deck with acidic shark stomach contents. Lovely.

Duncan, OOC: “Well, you aren’t in a shark any more, so that’s nice.”

What horrifying event is going to befall the group next? Can’t be anything worse than what Ardvack has just done to himself.

Nothing happens yet; the Priestess Heals her scabby ass so she doesn’t fall down dead on the deck. For her Bonus Action, since Melaina is unconscious, she clobbers the gobbo with her Spiritual Weapon. She rolls a 23, but Kessler casts Shield. DM, frustrated: “God damn you!”

Ahleqs’ turn. “Hello!” Looks like the goblin has things under control, so he can probably run away. The Priestess and the devil are both in melee with Kessler, so no attack of opportunity. He runs for it and turns to throw a Fireball, but changes his mind and casts Shatter instead at 3rd level. He hits the Priestess and two of the remaining devils - they make CON saves. We wait for Joe’s computer…

The Priestess and one of the devils save; 17 for the other and half for the two who succeed. He kills one, yay! He swigs a Healing Potion for his Bonus Action.

Melaina takes a d6 of damage as the devil in the crow’s nest with her picks up her unconscious body and flings it down onto the deck. She wakes, but takes 3 falling damage.

Kessler makes an attack of opportunity as Big Bastard moves to get past her - she smacks it with her Thunder Gauntlet but rolls a nat1. Matthew reminds Joe about the crit-fail table. On the Rebound - Your weapon bounces off your target and strikes you in the face. Take 1/2 the weapon’s damage, and you have Disadvantage on your next attack.

DM, delighted: “I hit her, I finally hit her!”

Does 17 hit Melaina? Yes, it does. Big Bastard is going to have a little bite of her, and then stab her with his trident. He’s at Advantage because she’s prone but at Disadvantage because she’s not Kessler, so a straight roll - an 11 and an 18 for 18 Piercing damage. Melaina is not in a good way, now. Another one comes and bites and claws at her as well, because this lot hate elves. Matthew, OOC: “This seems like racial profiling.”

Aegea returns with reinforcements - including Lolo, to Tarragon’s delight.

Kessler is up. She uses her bonus action to activate her Defensive Shield, giving herself 7 temporary HP. She does her Thunder Gauntlets at Big Bastard again. 6 Thunder damage. She can’t reach the back of his head so she aims for the back of his groin. Ahleqs, wincing: “Oooh, right in the gooch.” DM: “You’ve caressed his dangles.”

We all make DEX saves as the boat lurches again. Melaina is already on the deck, so she doesn’t have to worry about it. Again, Tarragon falls - and Carl goes overboard again. Matthew, OOC: “He had plans…”

Ahleqs expends two Sorcery Points to add a d4 to Carl’s DEX save - he rolls a 2, which is just enough to save him from falling into the water again. Carl feels a warm sense of something - has he wet himself? - No, a sense of community. DM allows him a free Intelligence check to see if he can speak, to mark the occasion - he rolls a 1. Well, he rolls a 4, and applies his minus-three modifier. At least he’s still on board.

Sophie is nodding off and it’s a school night, so we knock it off there. Kessler is going to enjoy kicking the shit out of that Big Bastard next week.

#dnd #thetradeway #campaign diary

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