#only for the family to deny them.

[badolmen]

Everyone talking about adopting Palestinian kids needs to read Scott Carney’s The Red Market and a brief definition of genocide outside of the physical destruction of lives.

#ra speaks #personal #adoption #palestine #the red market #it’s been years since I read that book #but the sections about the trafficked kids has always stuck with me #about the family who had their son stolen. who tracked him down in America. who asked the family to see him #not to take him home not to be a part of his life but simply to speak with a now young teenager #and tell him how much they loved him and missed him and were happy he was safe #only for the family to deny them. #like Jesus fucking Christ man that shit has fucked me up #idk maybe it’s just cause my countin died recently #and she was adopted and her graduate psychology work was with adopted kids because she was passionate #about the flaws and dangers of the system she grew up in #but every person who talks about saving the children when they mean taking them away from everything and everyone they’ve ever known #it makes my skin crawl #we should be putting effort into keeping track of families. of finding family friends and connections for these kids. #not throwing them into a new country full of racists who will give them shit for where they were born no matter how American they’re raised

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[wildflowercryptid]

sometimes, i think about the extra bit of depth alex's romance is given when you date him as a guy and i just gotta. stare at the ceiling for a bit...

#i think his heart events are nice either way but like... there's some extra flavor given to when your farmer's a guy #like him admitting that the farmer is the only other guy that he can be vulnerable around #or how admits that he tried denying his feelings for the farmer at first bc of his own internalized homophobia #and probably some external homophobia too #since george will tell the player that he wasn't sure about alex and them being together bc of his own biases #but seeing how happy alex was with them makes him rethink his views #idk i just really like his heart events i wish ppl appreciated them more #i also think it's interesting to see the game acknowledge homophobia and how it'd actually affect the queer relationships in town #it's definitely nice that the town is pretty damn accepting especially a majority of the romance options' families #but it feels more realistic to have those little bittersweet truths mixed in there too i like it #sorry i've got sdv brain rn so i'm thinking about it a lot #stardew valley #mj.txt #tw homophobia mention #sdv spoilers

[ghost-bxrd]

For "your court of owls batfam" au , how would Bruce react if Cobb ever got seriously hurt to the point of maybe having to be replaced? Also how do Dick and Jason feel about Cobb? Do they get along or is it strictly professional?

MWAHAHA I GOT ONE PERSON INTERESTED IN THIS AU ALREADY! *cheers*

Okay so Talon lore is that very little can keep a Talon down permanently. They can even regrow limbs if given enough time! So that’s neat. But basically replacing Talons isn’t a practice often exercised.

I know the Court canonically tried getting rid of Cobb in the Court of Owls saga because he got defeated by Batman and they didn’t think he’d “recover from the shame of being so thoroughly deafeated”.

It therefore stands to reason that he’s aware that he’s easily replaceable (there is always more than one Talon at any given time, although stored away in cryo usually) if he doesn’t perform to the Court’s expectations. Cobb is the best, been the best, Talon for over a century (?) now, but that means nothing if he fails to fulfill his missions.

So let’s say Cobb gets heavily injured by something that shouldn’t have been much of a challenge for a Talon. Let’s say his inattention/hubris/whatever nearly gets Bruce killed—-

That would be scandalous.

For one, his injuries will take several weeks to heal. Weeks in which the Voice will be virtually defenseless without their Talon. This is unacceptable.

And Two, some regular two bit criminals should have never been able to best a Talon in such a way. It’s a disgrace to the Court.

No, no, a new Talon must take Cobb’s place now. He has become obsolete. His services have been appreciated, but, “oh, you understand dear Talon, don’t you? The weak must be culled from the flock”.

And Cobb understands. He does. He’d thought- he thought he’d have more time, though. Time to convince Bruce to let him train the boy after all, to make sure his Voice is protected even after Cobb is gone. That the Court’s machinations will not see Bruce dead before the year is done because the new Talon will not know that Bruce is the best thing to have happened to the Court in a century. They will end up killing Bruce, killing Dick— (he shouldn’t care- he doesn’t care. He doesn’t. He doesn’t. He doesn’t-)

But then Bruce storms into the labs like the onset of a hurricane, all righteous fury and indignation, Dick hot on his heels (wide eyed and still too little with not enough training to hold out against the new Talon long enough to at least escape) demanding what the fuck is going on and why his Talon isn’t back by his side yet.

And he doesn’t accept the scientists’ reasonings that Cobb has done his duty; has become “outdated”. Doesn’t accept the reassurances of the “new one” being just as good— no, better, than the previous one. Doesn’t accept that a new Talon is supposed to protect him now. (“Him or none,” Bruce says, tone colder than the permafrost of the arctic, and at his side Dick’s eyes flash with unvoiced threat. “Now get out of my way.”)

As to the relationship between Cobb and the kids, well. His and Dick’s relationship is tense at first. Cobb has no interest being anything of a family to him despite their blood relations. He only sees Dick as a potential new (and perfect) Talon that could keep Bruce safe if he himself is deemed “outdated”. He’s not happy about all the potential “going to waste” by Dick being made Bruce’s ward, being allowed to live a sort of normal life. But once Dick approaches him for some training in physical combat… well. Sorry, Cobb tried. He really did. But Dick Grayson invented charisma, and even Cobb isn’t immune. He grudgingly starts liking the kid but will deny that until he’s blue in the face. Dick ends up being the Gray Son of Gotham, the highest ranking court member after Bruce with the training of a Talon.

With Jason it’s more straight forward. At first Cobb is pissed at Bruce for taking in a “street rat” and intending to adopt him, but… well, Jason grows on him “like fungus” (a direct quote). At first Cobb doesn’t really know what to make of Jason. The kid is loud and aggressive, but shrinks away like a wilting flower at the first signs of someone raising their voice. (He’s soft, Cobb thinks. The Court will eat him alive.)

But Jason’s also got a spine of steel as he clearly demonstrates when he jumps Cobb with a knife after an unfortunate misunderstanding where he assumed Bruce was in danger of him, and that kind of loyalty at least he can work with. (The kid’s still soft inside as all get out, but he’s excellent at covering it up with violence and bravado, and his charm is that he’s honest in a way so utterly foreign to the Court that it endears him to all the trustworthy members within a few months).

Jason becomes The Heart of the Court, the morality that Bruce was starting to have trouble clinging to; keeping them all on the right path towards a better future. A better Gotham.

(Cobb absolutely loves the children as much as Bruce does. It just takes him a bit longer to get there. And Jason is his favorite sorry I don’t make the rules. COUGH.)

#wait what do we even call the ship? #now there’s a thought lmao #Cobb is a cynical little shit #or a tsundere #both I guess #he denies having affection for anybody #least of all Bruce #sorry but that’s only his Voice #a job #(he said while methodically gutting two people vaguely mentioning hurting Bruce) #and the children are little pests #(he said while bringing them hot cocoa) #Alfred ‘you are an idiot!’ pennyworth #Bruce ‘worlds greatest detective but oblivious to feelings’ Wayne #William Cobb #crackship #Bruce Wayne #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #court of owls #talon #court family

[territorial-utopia]

Happy Midsummer’s Eve!! Tonight is a night of bonfires, booze and magic consisting of 7 different flowers that’ll grant you dreams of your future spouse. Sadly I’m still recovering from covid so I’m at home drinking and drawing this.

I’d like to imagine that tonight is a night these two dream of eachother <3

#gianttiny #giant/tiny #giant tiny #sfwgt #sfw gt #gt fluff #gtfluff #niart #dragon's lair #lovia #t #also might or might not be getting ideas on how these two bastards finally realise that they're eachother's spouses after the memory loss~ #god i haven't gotten to see a bonfire in so many midsummers in a row.... #they tend to get denied here at the capital most years #cuz ya know #dry season #forest fire warnings be on #and since the family cottage exists no longer no way to do private bonfires either #which reminds me #even tho this picture only has them there's others there too asdfas #i just need to design bg characters #one day #maybe i'll let patrons pick some of their charas that i can make versions of that'd fit this world #who knows #can you see i'm tipsy and just writing all my thoughts out rn #also yes summer nights are that light here in the nordic countries #it's almost midnight and that's the exact shade of the sky atm #but hey #midsummer marks the longest day of the year #so soon we be getting the dark nights back

[widowshill]

“He is not to them what he is to me,” I thought: “he is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine;—I am sure he is—I feel akin to him—I understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.” Jane Eyre, XVII.

18 / 139 / 91 / 78 / 2 / 12 / 75 / 80 / 75

#''we are very much alike‚ you and I. I and you. us.'' ''oh‚ except for a sense of honour‚ and decency‚ and a moral centre.'' #➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters. #➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. #compilation tag #this is. well idk if it's anything. it's not nothing. #but ... man. i happened upon that line of david's and i simply. yelling. in context... does it mean much? not really. #other than .. partially gesturing to the shared evolution in their relationship with david — from david's hatred and wanting them dead #to open affection and protection. but anyway … their parallelism compels me. their matching outfits! #as though they were … not perfect mirrors to each other‚ but contorted ones. not quite foils‚ less than doubles. #a reflection in water — not silver. #Roger’s likeness to Vicki doesn’t feel as immediately obvious (at least to me) as the parallels drawn between he and Carolyn #(who is a collins formed in his own image — physically as well as emotionally; mentally) #Vicki though: outwardly quite different. where roger is callous‚ selfish‚ tempestuous‚ hedonistic; #Vicki is ingenuous‚ compassionate‚ stoic‚ temperate #but they find in each other more of themselves than they’d like to. roger who sees in her not only the imagined weakness of her alliance #with Burke‚ but the weakness (so perceived) of authentic affection‚ of curiosity‚ loneliness‚ even love for his own family. For his son. #the interest in collinwood's ghosts that he would like so well to ignore. #and Vicki who finds herself always with ''a potentiality for corruption.'' #she’d like to believe she remains here selflessly — out of love for David and wanting to help him — but it is her own self interest that #keeps her here: wanting to know her past‚ wanting to know these people‚ to be involved with them (no matter how fervently she denies it) #she who typically is calm as still water in suffering their wrongs but can lose her temper as well as roger if pressed. #who begins as almost pure truth but begins to lie — first via omission‚ then conscious untruths. #who — not without good reason — falls into paranoid suspicion of him just as he had her. #Vicki who is an auditory and visual echo — repeating dialogue; repeating clothing; repeating his haunts of the cliffs and the beach. #anyways. I just think they’re neat :) I love a gothic almost-couple

[wonder-worker]

"In reality Richard III invented a Woodville scare as a screen for his own conspiracy"

-A.J Pollard, "Richard III and the Princes in the Tower"

#lmao #r*chard iii #my post #I think that's true for all usurpations and coups to an extent #but its 10x more applicable and accurate for Richard III #Not only because of the compressed length of time (a mere 3 months as opposed to years of back-and-forth tensions) #but also because ultimately one of the key reasons Richard could do what he did was because he did it from the heart of the political #institution (ie he was an internal threat rather than an external one) #and he was someone who was trusted and loved rather than mistrusted and hated. His betrayal was political but it also had far more personal #ramifications for everyone involved - most people simply did not expect it from him and cooperated with him precisely because of that #which enabled him to seize power before most people even realized what he was doing #And there's the fact that he actually did stage a conspiracy by accusing the Woodvilles of plotting to attack and ambush him #and produced weapons from his own war in Scotland as fake 'proof' - when in fact we know that HE deceived and ambushed THEM #there's also the (propagandic) lie that they usurped him from the position as Lord Protector when they certainly didn't #either Edward IV didn't appoint Richard Lord Protector meaning the Woodvilles denied him nothing #OR the council collectively chose to have a council rule during Edward V's minority rather than a Protector (something they were entirely #within their rights to do both socially and legally) #so claims that they wrongly defied Edward IV's last wishes or broke the law (which Mancini repeats in his account) must be seen as exactly #that - propagandic lies to vilify EW and her family #when in fact Richard was the one plotting a seizure of power - whether it was as Lord Protector or as King #(of course these are just two things - there's a whole laundry list of others) #so this is definitely applicable to him

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya oftentimes wonders what it must have been like, living in Khaenri'ah. Reading the tales of Khaenri'ahn heroes Jean's shared with him, of things he remembered his father mentioning, helped him picture it all. As did knowledge the Akademiya has of Dahri ruins he managed to get his hands on one way or another years later, during his visit to Sumeru.

#hc; kaeya #//It was really after meeting Dainsleif that the thoughts increased exponentially; and became almost painful #//Thoughts of what it could have been like; had he grown up a 'proper' Alberich; surrounded by family & the culture he'd been wrenched from #//Of what Khaenri'ah looked like in her heyday; of the countless people lost because of the Cataclysm living their daily lives #//He wants to learn so much more; no matter what it means #//He loves Mond dearly; but it hurts feeling that emptiness from being denied that connection #//Of losing his mother tongue the longer it went unused; of not knowing the traditions he ought to have celebrated #//Rites of passage he must have missed in favor of Mond traditions; holidays; family customs #//Could he have had siblings? Cousins? Aunts; uncles; GRANDPARENTS??? #//What would his upbringing have been like? Strict? Lenient? Would they have accepted him as he was? No mask necessary? #//Could his father have truly loved him so closely; instead of keeping him at arms length like he KNEW they'd have to part soon? #//That he didn't want to grow too fond of his own child because he could lose him any moment? (is it a wonder kae does the same at times?) #//What would it have been like; being a Knight of Khaenri'ah? Surely he would have given Khaenri'ah his heart; like he had for Mond #//If Khaenri'ah still stood to this day...would he; Diluc and Jean have still been friends? As fond and close as they once had been? #//Logically; he doubts that; but his foolish heart likes to think the three were MEANT to meet; one way or another #//MEANT to have that friendship they'd once shared (before he went and ruined everything with Diluc) #//Surely they would have found a way to make it work; no matter the distance from Khaenri'ah to Mondstadt #//Maybe they could have bridged the gap between the godless nation and the people of the Anemo Archon #//Ahh; but that's wishful thinking; now wouldn't it be? #//He likes to wonder how it would have felt; having that certain loyalty to his nation; not torn between his family's past & his current on #//Would he have been happier; had he been born to and raised in that nation? Rather than left to live in this one? #//Though he'd have to wonder if that would be true; considering the Archons' treatment of them in the end #//No doubt war would always be looming on the horizon; and if Dahri records were right...Celestia wasn't their only issue #//Still; he can't help but dream; and with a certain; aching longing at that

[llycaons]

truly do find 'perfect' sweet little kids who exist to be cute and protected extremely boring to the point of aggravation but alluka DOESN'T fit that description because she's been neglected and isolated her whole life, she is soul-bonded with a horrifying (to many) and nearly omniscient being, she is endlessly sweet and loving to really only one person, and she STANDS UP TO that person when he hurts someone else she cares about!! she may not have a lot going on but her character and personality contrasts her situation so much to make it really striking. and I'm a sucker for close brother/sister relationships!! so sue me!!!

#not to harp on this again but I would argue despite having similar roles as children supporting the protags and acting as #characters whose very existence means important plot or character things regardless of their personalities #alluka IS better-written than a-yuan. there is genuine conflict there. she has her own loyalties and motivations #on a plot level she may exist to 1. solve a problem 2. separate killua from gon and 3. introduce DC magic #but it doesn't feel like she exists to simply fill a shallow shipping-adjacent role quite so blatantly #or maybe I'm biased against using kids as shipping fodder. #or reducing an entire murdered family to one kid who's only referred to as the son of two unrelated characters. and whose survival #is only of value bc it helps gets them together idk! #I also really dislike how 'good' kids are treated by the narrative. #etc. etc. anyway authority figures and her own parents and siblings hate and fear and disrespect and misunderstand alluka. #and they are wrong! fuck them! it's always felt like togashi's had the backs of the kids he writes #it's um. anti-authoritarian not rly in its themes but in its general approach I think? #hm. can't rly elaborate rn as im sleepy #but alluka's sweetness isn't grating or irritating it's a breath of fresh air in the nightmare that is her home life #and it's a precious and wonderful thing to see her so affectionate with a character we the audience love so much but who has struggled #for so long to leave his past behind and do be a normal kid #her love and her kindness isn't empty or meaningless it's the lifeblood that killua needs to #have a healthy relationship w his best friend #bc it lets him step back and have more than one important person in his life #and he sends that love right back to her!!!! killua isn't just someone starved for love he's starved TO love! #the unconditional love the rest of his familiy has long denied him....he and alluka and nanika all find it with each other #and it's the most beautiful and special thing in the entire series I think. or one of them #cor.txt

[autisticlee]

having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time

#chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #idk what else to tag #another day of why was lee walking normal and barely pain at work yesterday but then today so much pain and exhausted #wish i knew what was exactly the problem. was diagnosed with “generalized hypermobility” but doesnt do much #not a real diagnosis. basically just a thing to tell me “theres nothing wrong. exercise more” but how???? i keep trying but hurt myself #my job is physical labor and therefore exercise. it hurts. is exhausting. no energy to do more. walking is exhausting #have to focus so much energy on not popping hips out of place and twisting knees and ankles and falling. never hurts less #still think about how failed the heds test by 1 point but had several people with heds or who have close friends/family with it who told me #they think i have it and should go het diagnosed or just ask me if i have it because they recognize the symptoms #and every time i tell them the doctor i saw about my joint issues and stuff denied it they get super confused and tell me to try #another doctor. unfortunately i have to go through my designated health system and they dont have multiple doctors of each specialty #and i in general have no clue how to navigate health stuff or how to advocate for myself and have no help or support system at all so 🤷 #anyway. it makes me wonder if i *do* have that or if my floppy bendy joints are just similarly bad and exercise will cure me #and im just bad at it because i have no clue what is right and wrong movement unless someone watches me and corrects me the whole time #and no i wont learn or get better. im so disconnected from this body that i will never learn what feels right and wrong. #still cant even tell when im hungry until i almost pass out!!!!!!! of thirsty!! or even have to pee until its emergency level piss!!!!!! #so no way to tell when hypermobiling joints when exercising or when form is slipping and not correct anymore. #been trying things to get better at that but still hasnt improved at all #what was i talking about......right. dont think ill ever get heds diagnosis since cant pass the test for that. so cant get much support/help #am on my own with youtube tutorials and hoping i dont keep hurting myself wishing exercise will cure me and “good days” become permanent #also why are video tutorials SO HARD TO FOLLOW AND LEARN FROM. im sk bad at it yet everyone tells me its the best and only way to learn but #its SO HARD FOR ME 😭😭😭😭😭 MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED AND UPSET

[kat-astrophic-todd]

Jujutsu Kaisen // Geto Suguru

#geto suguru #the excruciating pain of knowing the only way your life will have meaning is by becoming the villain #your life will have mraning and you'll never be happy again. you'll protect your people by killing others. #you won't make your family follow your ways. they have the freedom you were denied. you will protect them. #the end justifies the means because that future is the only one where those you lost would've been safe #because in that world being strong wouldn't mean losing your identity or enslaving a child for their power #in that world you wouldn't have had to choose. or lose. or survive because your body's just a vessel for curses. #jjk geto #jjk spoilers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Maybe it’s just me, but family ties and status don’t really mean jack when the way you interact with your family members/loved ones is abusive (and by default, utterly unacceptable).

#kelseethe #it seems like you’re just picking on semantics and dodging the point people are trying to make #nobody but dc denies that Jason was officially adopted by Bruce and that he’s considered Bruce’s son #(both legally and because of the relationship they had/have) #but if the last time a parent acted like a loving parent was literally over a decade ago #and ever since he’s just been meddling and disruptive and overall leaving pain and chaos in your life for years now #(which Jason fans have to witness in practically all his comics because Bruce just has to make an appearance at least once every time) #then is it really a reach for people to point out that them trying to constantly force these characters together #(at the expense of Jason’s mental well-being and his values. every single time. it’s never Bruce compromising.) #is it really a reach for people to say this feels forced and that we don’t want to see this family dynamic #because 1. we don’t constantly wanna see our fav get invalidated and #2. have his stories be limited because of his ties to a family whose love and acceptance is at best conditional #because they only ever use him being part of this ‘family’ as an excuse to police his morals and actions #while he never actually recieves the love and respect that comes with being a son and a brother

[chronicsheepdrawing]

KOSA Bill. In three days, the bill will either pass or be disgarded. Please reblog and sign petitions. to help stop the bill by going to the stop kosa tag so we can not let the bill pass!

The definition of not safe for work content that would be censored under KOSA is vague and would of course target the LGBT community.

#not art #I'm so tired okay #A Tennessee Governor has allowed public officials to deny same sex marriages if it makes them uncomfortable #Alabama ruled that frozen embryos count as children #and would make it so women trying to get pregnant through IVF can only do so one egg at a time #Even if the egg is knowingly not viable #This process takes months and would be for nothing #Cops can open fire on you or run you over and joke about it with no consequences #As well as cop cities opening over the majority of states and being supported by Israel where they can better train our police in abuse #The industry I want to go into is experiencing massive layoffs and people simply aren't valued as it's all about shareholders and investors #And to top it all off the planet is still dying due to climate change caused by oil and gas companies and their CEOs #Both me and my mom are unemployed and we definitely couldn't afford the place we've been provided if it weren't for assistance #And I'm worried something will get screwed up and we'll just get evicted and this'll all be for nothing #I just don't see the point anymore #I only exist to provide shelter to my family as the apartment is in my name and to hopefully try and pay back those have donated to me #Besides that I just go through every day not seeing any upside to continuing to live but not committed to die

[philtatosbuck]

mikaelson stans are deeply unserious but the worst kinds are the klaro klaus stans, the “klaus is a big meanie” elijah stans and the “kol is so mistreated” kol stans

#like i'm all for acknowledging klaus' wrongs #but you can't at your grown age keep blaming klaus for all of elijah's shit lmfao #you cannot keep using 'klaus always ruins what elijah has' when elijah is LETTING HIM #not only that but he HELPS HIM DO IT to their other siblings #elijah is not a victim of klaus' insanity he's a fucking enabler #if ANYONE could take on klaus pre hybrid and win. it was elijah. #he didn't do that. he willingly played a hand in klaus ruining damn near everyones lives #ESPECIALLY katherine but y'all love to pretend katherine should just ignore all that #elijah is quite literally the only one who could actually beat klaus' ass when he acts up but no! he's right by his side doing it too #i don't have words for the kl*ro klaus stans. idk who that bitch is lmfao #the 'kol is so mistreated' gang is just ridiculous #like. yeah. it'd be hard to deny he gets mistreated by his siblings #but he's not? some uwu baby? who needs to be 'protected' or defended #he's also a grown fucking man #the 'mistreated' thing goes out the window as SOON as he leaves his family's presence #he's done as much shit as they all have #there's no room for argument that he's 'better' than them #because we didn't see it on screen #just deeply unserious. all of you. #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #kol mikaelson

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#now my aunt is in remission... #a lot is happening and i feel the loneliest I've felt since high school #I've only been getting worse since my family denied what i went through and sat there and told me i wasn't probably remembering it correctly #i know what it was like growing up even if it comes back to me in spurts.. #but they really have started to make me doubt myself and its the worse cause they never apologized for the neglect and abuse #and they all took their side and acted like i was mistaken and said “ i never saw it happened do it didn't happen #and now i dont even talk to the only two friends i had cause i dont feel the same #if i don't text them first they never ever message me first or even check on me #and im always the one being there for them and listening to them and im just tired lf it all #i dont want a future anymore and im slowly losing my grip ive held on do tight even at my loneliest and now i feel like im losing #i was never anyone's best friend and everyone of the people ive called friends were always closer to someone else #ive only always had myself but im losing hope for the future and i just feel so extremely empty again #i just want to end this feeling and the weed isnt working anymore and working out doesnt work... i need God ive been so far away from him.. #Im just slowly losing it more and more im tired of being the friend everyone goes to for advice and laughs or enjoyment #im tired of it so much #the only time i feel joy is the bliss i feel when i sleep and even that joy is never truly felt cause i constantly fight my sleep #i only sleep when my body forced it self to cause i can't naturally just go to sleep st s set time anymore.. #im so tired of being people's escape or advice person I'm probably only saying this for the overwhelming feeling #of being a colossal failure and disappointment even so i still try snd try and fail some more #why don't i quit I just dont know why its just something in me that has some glimmer of self hope ive only tried to kms once and failed #maybe ima bit glad i failed but apart of me laughs cause i even failed at kms and find it ironic cause i fail at so many things #im so incapable of salvaging some semblance of normality or consistency #Mr.inconsistent that i am and have been but i refuse to let myself end that way i have to fight for something even in this haze of mine.. #i just want to be better why cant i get better and stay good.. maybe it hurts more than i let on finally speaking of what happened #and for them to deny it may have really affected me a lot snd i am just now seeing it manifest it self now ... #i just gotta live with it and just TRY to do better every single day snd in every single situation snd action i take...

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

when i was 14 i had a crush on the same guy as my best friend, whom we were both very good friends with, and i never made my crush known (despite the fact that it was obvious) because she was more charismatic and better at getting him to agree to things than i was. anyways, one day after school we went on like a three-way date (we said it was a friend thing but we both obviously wanted to date him) to a mini golf course and then back to my house where she did makeup on him and i recorded the whole thing and put it on youtube (the videos are private) and everytime i watch them i just feel this aching nostalgia where i wish i had just spoken up and said i liked him too.

i guess it doesn't really matter bc in the end, we had a weird falling out and he ended up with neither of us and we don't talk to him anymore but i still always wonder how he's doing!! he was a weird fucking kid but he was a good friend and i liked him a lot 🤷‍♀️

#he got nosebleeds super easily and he always wore hoodies with nothing underneath to school (LOL?) and we used to race to lunch like 6 y/os #this other kid i had a crush on that year after i got over my crush on him (mostly) was in the same class with us and commented on how we #'acted like a couple' and both of us were liie vehemently denying it but idk. he's also the only man i've ever hugged outside my family #it's all just kind of bittersweet when i look back at it... i was 14 and i didn't know how to be a better friend to either of them #i essentially caused the falling out bc i told my best friend that i also liked him and then she told him and. yeah. it was stupid #it all came to a head at the only dance i ever attended in high school where lana del rey was playing and he messaged us on KIK saying #that he was gonna kill himself and i fake threw up in a trash can JDHDUDIDJND IT WAS ALL VERY MELODRAMATIC AND HIGH SCHOOL... #but anyways like i said i just kinda wish i had told him but it is what it is. i had like 4 crushes freshman year so it's not like it was #that important but yeah. i just rewatched one of those videos and it got me thinking of that time. my relationshio with my best friend #is much more fraught than you would believe from this story lol