#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[mybiasisexo]

Show You 🎙

@erin78 asks: I’m requesting 6 with chanyeol too 😊

a/n: so... this is way longer than a drabble should be, but I thought, what the heck, its what Chanyeol deserves!!! hope you like itttt~!

MASTERLIST

gif credit

Your school’s local radio’s best program was Leoy Radio at 6pm. It was undoubtedly the only thing keeping the station running at this point. The DJ, Loey, had a very deep calming voice that many of the girls on campus couldn’t help but fall for and he played the best most diverse music. There was always something for everyone and he made it a point to try to expand everyone’s music catalogues. The way he interacted with other students was precious. He gave the most insightful advice and even if he didn’t agree with the caller, he gave them their platform and was always polite and understanding. He sometimes would go on long winded talks about relatable topics, shining his thoughts about issues that were relatable, deep, and intellectual.

He was like the perfect guy.

You, just like most of the campus, were enamored by him. Making a point to never miss his show, going as far as playing it through the speakers at the café you worked at if it was during a shift. There was something so intoxicating about him, something so alluring, and you couldn’t help but wonder who the mysterious Leoy was. He obviously went to your school, but he made a point to never reveal anything too personal about himself, other than his voice, liking the veil of secrecy he possessed.

It first happened on a Thursday. It was during your shift when the song Spf by Magic City Hippies played. You were pleasantly surprised, because you had listened to it earlier that day.

It happened the next day.

UN Villiage was the song of the day for you, and what did you know, Loey ended up playing it that day.

This happened every day for two weeks.

Whenever you so happened to listen to a certain song, like clockwork, Loey would magically play it later that day.

It was eerie. You didn’t know if you held a psychic connection or if he was somehow stalking you. You didn’t have the slightest idea and it was lowkey freaking you out.

You shared your concern to your best friend, Chanyeol, but he simply laughed at your accusation.

“You must really like this Loey guy if you think he’s somehow stalking you.”

“But isn’t it a bit bizarre?”

“I mean,” Chanyeol scratched the back of his head. “It does sound kind of creepy now that you put it that way. But maybe it’s just coincidence.”

You gave him a look before sighing. “Fine, call me crazy. You want your usual?”

“Please and thank you!”

The following day, you were in the passenger seat of Chanyeol’s massive SUV as he took you both to a local diner for a late lunch. Chanyeol was the best friend anyone could ask for. He was patient and talented and sweet. Funny and handsome. You both just got on really well and you were happy to call the goofball your friend.

He handed you the aux cord. “Play something for me. Something different.”

You do as he asked. One thing that bonded you both was your love for music. You both loved to share new artists and songs with each other, analyzing every chord, string, and lyric it had to offer.

There was one song that you had been listening to for a while and didn’t think Chanyeol knew the artist, so you picked it.

“Holy….” He was almost in a daze within the first few seconds. “This is sick! What is this?”

“It’s called Show You by Baby Rose. It’s about really liking someone and wanting to show that person how much they do without using words.”

He grew quiet at the explanation, getting lost in the song.

Even throughout lunch, he wasn’t as talkative as usual. You ended up being the one to push conversation as you both stuffed overly greasy burgers down your throats.

After lunch, he dropped you off. He worked late shifts on campus during the weekdays, so you waved him goodbye before doing some housework while you waited for 6pm to come, wondering what familiar song Loey would play today.

You were in the middle of doing the dishes when Loey’s smooth voice graced your ears. “I know I don’t tend to dive into my personal life on here often, because I like to keep that stuff private, but lately I’ve been having the urge to talk to you all about something that’s been on my mind.”

Your ears perked up at that. Loey revealing something about himself? He had your undivided attention.

He laughed nervously before talking again. “I have a crush on someone close to me. They are easily, the best thing to ever happen to me. They mirror me perfectly. It’s crazy, it’s as if we’re in sync. I’m addicted to every word, every thought, and I find myself up at ungodly hours wondering if they feel the same way as I do, because, god, I really want them to. A friend of mine showed me this song and it just hit me. The singer is saying everything I’ve been thinking when it comes to this person. It’s funny, because I know they are listening, and as much as I want them to, I also don’t. What if they realize who I actually am? What if they find out how I feel about them, but don’t reciprocate? Ah…. Anyways, here’s Show You by Baby Rose.”

And as the distorted guitar rift floated through your apartment, you found yourself completely frozen besides your mind, which was running at a million miles an hour. Loey’s words, which was spoken from a voice now too familiar, felt like puzzle pieces that you were now trying to put together, so that you could see the big picture. It wasn’t until the song was nearly over that you got the final piece in and you gasped, dropping the plate in your hand. The sound of it breaking brought you back and you nearly cried from being so stunned.

You cleaned up the mess before turning off the radio, not wanting to hear anything else Loey had to say.

You zoned out for a while. You weren’t sure for how long, but the urgent knocks at your door brought you back.

When you checked the time, it was close to ten. You wondered briefly who would be here at this time, but don’t bother asking as you yanked the door open, being met face to face with Chanyeol.

“I’ve been texting and calling for twenty minutes, but you haven’t answered! I got worried so I came to check on you.” He could probably tell something was off. Your eyes were glazed over, as if you weren’t really looking at him. Sheepishly, he stuffed his hands in his pant pockets. “Can I come in? I have something to tell you.”

You mutely allowed him in and now he was really concerned. You hadn’t said a word as you sat on the couch, him taking the chair beside it.

“So, um, I have something to confess,” he revealed, scanning every inch of the room but you. “I know you’ll probably be mad at me, for keeping it to myself for so long. Truth is, I’m actually L—”

“Loey?” You finally uttered. He blinked at you, ears red as your haze seemed to clear up. “You’re Loey, aren’t you?”

He hesitated before giving you an affirmative nod.

“Chanyeol…. The songs…. You were leaving me clues, huh?”

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head. “I wanted to tell you who I was from the beginning, but was too nervous to admit it. Especially when you told me you had a crush on Loey. I thought you would be disappointed, finding out it was me all along, so I decided to keep it to myself. I admit, I got a bit careless, a bit carried away. I guess, deep down, I wanted you to know. I wanted you to see that it was actually me that you liked, so…yeah.”

“You just needed to show me, right?” You chuckled at that and he relaxed a bit. If you were making jokes than maybe…? “I can’t believe I walked right into your trap.”

“So, what do you think?” He asked, biting his lip nervously. “Can you like Chanyeol as much as you like Loey? Or are you mad and never want to speak to me again?”

“I’ll admit that once I figured it out, I was shocked. You really lied to me and made me out to be crazy about the song thing! But then I felt dumb. I mean, who else has a voice that deep? Also Yeol...Loey.... Was I really that blind? But, Chanyeol, I’m not mad at you for not telling me, although I am a bit upset you didn’t confess earlier, because I’ve liked you for a while also.”

His face brightened. “You have?”

“I have, Chanyeol. I like you very much.”

“Oh, thank god!” His big frame was engulfing you immediately. His large sweater soft and warm as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, bringing you in close. You both rocked for a bit before pulling away just far enough to look at each other’s faces.

“I need to show you one last thing,” he admitted quietly.

“What is that?” You asked.

He answered by leaning in, kissing you gently, and you fell into it easily. You found yourself on cloud nine, not only did you find out Loey’s true identity, but now you had him all to yourself.

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